#hes not meant to be a big giant part of the plot he was designed to be another face in the newspaper and

[puhpandas]

thinking about how tony was so upset over someone he loved being put in prison because the government didnt put extra effort into investigating his case and theres a chance he could have been given justice if someone had tried harder so tony takes it upon himself to do that but then he dies and he becomes another missing kid and ggy never gets caught and nobody ever looks any deeper or tries any harder with Tony's case and he never gets done justice

[gay-jesus-probably]

I like the general fandom trend to just take the plot of Hyrule Warriors as a loose guideline at best and just use the whole concept as a good excuse to get blorbos to interact across timelines, BUT I'm very disappointed that everyone is missing the comedic potential of a very specific squad of characters:

Young Link (aka Mask), who walks out of the nightmare of Majora's Mask and immediately gets portal kidnapped into a temporal war, takes one look at the whole mess and decides that you could not fucking pay him to admit to being the resident expert on Time Shenanigans. He introduces himself with the title of Hero of Termina, and definitely doesn't have any other ones, that would be crazy. Hero of Time? Never heard of him.

Tetra, who is a kickass pirate captain with zero patience for people trying to shove her into the Designated Princess role, and realizes immediately that Oh Fuck, this Hyrule has a lot of Ideas about how the Hero and the Princess are supposed to properly play their parts, the second they realize she's technically a Zelda they're gonna shove her in a goddamn dress and damsel her again, that's not happening. So she's definitely just a really cool pirate captain, nothing else going on here at all, definitely not the heir of the Hylian royal family in her time, that'd be crazy.

Ravio, who is literally just a palette swapped Link, meaning that the second his hood comes off, things are gonna get Awkward. There's no way in hell he's dealing with all that Hero baggage, that's Link work, so that giant bunny hood/mask is practically superglued to his head, and he's not taking it off for love or money.

Spirit Tracks Zelda, who is just in the Phantom Armour the whole time, and passing herself off as just a friendly ghost posessing a suit of armour to help the Hero of Spirits. Of course she isn't Princess Zelda, that's ridiculous, if she were a Zelda then people would start getting really weird about her technically being dead, and boy does that ever sound like a whole Thing she doesn't want to deal with, so she can't possibly be Zelda, she's just a nice ghost knight. Also, her teenage grandma is here, and that's kinda weird, so it's easier to just not admit to being royalty and avoid that awkward conversation.

Finally there's Sheik, who is not the Princess Zelda of the era straight up abandoning her war torn country for months at a time so she can risk her life in extreme cosplay for no clear reason, but is instead the actual Sheik from Ocarina of Time, who just beat Ganondorf like a month ago and is still trying to process what the fuck to do now. Also, he's been pretending to be a boy since he was ten, and is realizing there's a pretty good chance that he isn't pretending anymore, so that's a whole other can of worms. But for the last seven years of his life, being Princess Zelda meant certain death, so he's not really inclined to introduce himself like when in a new and stressful situation (not to mention he might actually just not be a girl named Zelda anymore), so he automatically introduces himself as just Sheik the spooky ninja man, and fuck he's in too deep to back out now, looks like he's committing to the bit. If you think you sense the Triforce of Wisdom on him, no you don't.

Cue shenanigans as the five of them attempt to hide that they're all actually kind of A Big Deal. The group motto is "Nobody says shit", which is usually delivered as a frantic hiss whenever someone slips up. Just the reunion between Sheik and Mask alone would be absolutely buckwild given how they parted, and how they're both frantically pretending to Not be involved with each other. For added hilarity and/or drama, Sheik gives his semi-bullshit cover story of having just been a friend of the Hero of Time, then runs into said Hero of Time and they both have to desperately pretend not to know each other, because if anyone picks up on the mountain of baggage between them then Mask is busted, and he won't hesitate to drag Sheik down with him out of sheer spite. Not to mention the weird balance of Sheik being used to this Link being a teenager that's actually a small child, and now has to adjust to Link who is a small child that's actually a teenager.

Also, i really feel like we're all missing out on the comedy potential of Ganondorf recognizing Young Link on sight and the two of them immediately launching into a grudge match with some extremely personal and specific insults on both sides. Meanwhile literally everybody else is just standing there watching, trying to process the fact that out of every single person that's been pulled out of time, Ganondorf only has personal beef with a literal nine year old.

I just feel like we're all really sleeping on the potential for Shenanigans here. The whole thing is an absurd mess, why not have some fun with it?

[lynnbecks-gaming-sideblog]

i saw on the l n el discord a while ago that you started playing Control, what did you think of it? its one of my favorite games so i hope you had a good time with it

Finally, a game I've actually played! Yeah Control's great. Anyone who hasn't played it should, especially if they're fans of SCP Foundation and similar stuff though I also recommend playing the first Alan Wake game first, or at least reading/listening to a plot summary, since they're canonically set in the same universe. Unfortunately I don't have it installed currently, though I might reinstall it soon because they added the Hideo Kojima cameo mission from the PS4 version to the Steam version).

My only real issues are that it runs really poorly on my computer (which is more an issue with the computer I think), and also that I somehow managed to unlock the second DLC like midway through the story, so I basically hit a really big difficulty spike way before I was supposed to.

Also, a thing I didn't notice but found out about from the wiki is that, when Jesse first picks up the Service Weapon, before it bonds to her, it actually looks different than it does in the rest of the game, and every user's meant to have their own version. Which I already assumed from the "it was Excalibur and Mjolnir" thing, but still.

(this ask is part of the lynnbeck-smithingtable april fools 2025 event; send me asks about games that aren't Minecraft and I will do my best to answer them)

A few miscellaneous thoughts below, which include spoilers not just for Control, but also for the first Alan Wake game.

I swear the Pierce weapon-form has a much shorter range than it feels like it should? Like I'm pretty sure I used it when I got to the Mould area to attack an enemy that was off in the distance, and it wasn't hitting.

The Ashtray sequence goes hard. 10/10, wish I could experience it in VR.

There was a lot more Alan Wake stuff than I expected outside the DLC (which I already knew was a sort of crossover/cross-through before playing). Like I remember finding files in one main-game area that mentioned Alice and Barry, and like. I don't know if AWE added that in retroactively, but as someone who had recently finished Alan Wake 1, I was genuinely surprised!

Speaking of Alan Wake stuff, Hartman's design in the AWE DLC is genuinely amazing.

I wasn't expecting Marshall to die at the end of Foundation! Like yeah, she does the whole "I need to go now, there's a thing going on" thing, but I didn't expect her to show up there.

Jemily is OTP. I really hope they're a proper couple in Control 2.

Speaking of Control 2, from what I've seen (via Lore Dump since both the Control and Alan Wake 2 Lake House episodes have ended with Monty showing Control 2 concept art and trailer screenshots, respectively) I think it's really cool that Remedy appear to be expanding the scope of the Hiss infestation to at least the whole of New York, but also this has Implications™, because like. Alan and Alice used to live there. From what I've had spoiled for me (again, because of Lore Dump, go listen to it, it's a great podcast, especially the Bioshock, Arkham and Spiderman "seasons", though ironically the pre-Alan Wake II Remedy episodes are kinda "eh", like Monty kinda glosses over a decent amount of plot-points in the American Nightmare episode; Monty's episodes from the Bioshock one onwards are really good) the Dark Place kinda. "Intersects" with New York? I think??? And considering what AWE depicts what happens when the Hiss and the Dark Presence interact, this can't end well. Also uhhhh another thing from the Lore Dump end-of-episode Control 2 trailer speculation is the possibility that Chester Bless will be played by the same actor who played Paul Serene in Quantum Break, following the pattern of QB actors being brought back in Remedy's modern games.

I really like Ahti. He's like G-Man's chill cousin who just wants to clean up, listen to sick beats, unintentionally curse a TV, and yell at a giant sentient pipe-clog. Also the end of his questline is hilariously anticlimactic, but in a good way.

[beevean]

Really dont get the hype for the Sonic 3 movie....just pissed me off

I knew that hyping for years as an adaptation of SA2 would piss off people when they would inevitably reveal that no, it's its own story that only vaguely resembles SA2.

Turning GUN from antagonists to allies and keeping Gerald alive are certainly choices, though.

You know the issue in my opinion? The movies have always been lighthearted, and it worked for the first two, whose plots are very, very light. The first one was a generic road trip, the second one meandered a while but managed to land on a solid reinterpretation of S3&K. They're fun for kids and if you want to have a good time. But this movie sits on the shoulders of Sonic Adventure 2, a giant in the fandom, the entry point of many fans of my generation, fondly remembered for its very serious and poignant story that tackles themes of anti-military, grief, insanity and revenge. Sure, SA2 is not a snoozefest and it has its goofy moments like Sonic quipping about low budget flights or screaming TERIA... but its brand of humor is very much not the same as the one in the movies, which is more... MCU? Watch the trailer and count how many times it cuts its tension with zingers.

They even snuck in a "character gains weight to signify he let himself go", which I remember being a big source of discourse when they did it to Thor - even worse here as Eggman is meant to be fat, and his weight is just part of his cartoonish design, he is still intelligent and resourceful and determined. I could have accepted Robotnik gaining progressively more weight as the movies go on, but not like this, man, we should be better than this.

(also I'm not a fan of the idea of Sonic and Robotnik teaming up to take Shadow down. It's been done to death, it's a cheap way to prop a new character, and Sonic should probably be much more against the idea of giving even an inch to the man who wanted to dissect him. But hey.)

Now, it's still early to judge the entire story as it is, and I don't care to speculate about the changes they could make. But yeah, the trailer was disappointing, because there is a general feeling of stagnation. I never even expected a full 1:1 adaptation of SA2 because I know the movies are not interested in that... but let's just say I almost want to play that fun game of "how much did the changes from the original story outright make it worse?". And this time there is definitely more material to work with.

(doesn't help that I personally don't love Shadow, so just seeing Shadow being the coolest badass in town doesn't appeal to me like it would to many other people)

[springtrappd]

At least the environments look nice also like I wonder who the player character is also also wonder what happened to luis cabenera kinda feels like a story plot left loose yeah? Also also also like I think the designs look cool but it’s missing something if you ask me feels like a old point and click adventure game

the environments look nice in the sense that they're generically aesthetically pleasing, yeah, but they're just that -- generic. it's the same problem with the designs; at first glance they're alright, yeah, but then you remember that these are meant to be from the same era as FREDBEAR and go "wait a minute". they're far, far too polished for what they're meant to be -- what shit from the 70s have you seen that isn't at least a little, idk, dated? that's fuckin gleaming?

why would fazbear's be an attraction if there was a competitor pulling this shit? if it was their own contractor doing this? why should we care about the small-town drama of a few dead kids when there's apparently been this grand apparatus existing outside our view this entire time? these guys are cheap enough to still be using springlocks when they've got this shit figured, & to constantly reuse parts from old animatronics -- but they have a giant factory full of fully functional fuckers just chilling? so the toys weren't that big of a deal then? so the funtimes weren't afton's insane magnum opus then? Okay cool (SCREAMS INTO HANDS)

"but will they're a contractor taking commissions! that's why they all look like they were made by completely different people from different eras! they're supposed to look different to each other!" just because something intentionally looks bad doesn't mean it stops looking bad. it just means they made a thing that looks bad. on purpose.

#Vibes are such a huge part of what makes fnaf fnaf, and i'm not typing a bigass analysis of how scott used lighting + character design + environmental design + cinematography + sound design to create some real timeless shit, but i will say that he sure did & this evident if you Look. With Your Eyes. i've had a whole examination of fnaf as a gothic horror marinating in the back of my brain for a while, & i think it's worth at least touching on that here, because it's a big part of why this shit doesn't hit. freddy fazbear's pizza is a haunted house; it is melancholic and lonely, built on a foundation of grief. circus baby's is haunted in a different way -- it's true '70s sci-fi, all industrial corridors to nowhere and machines that sweat with you. circus baby's is alive and the pizzeria is long dead. these are the two different flavours of classic fnaf #Vibes: are you in its stomach or its heart? can you hear its bones creak? does it care about you?

sotm -- in all of its promotional material, at least -- doesn't have that. it could be anything, and in so doing it is nothing. like they're just sauceless guys idk what to tell you!!

BUT YES. REST OF THE ASK. the green jacket we see our new protag wearing makes me ugh because it's the colour usually associated with charlie; novel!charlie wears a green bomber jacket in the graphic novels, game!charlie had a special green security bracelet & the security puppet had green eyes. i am praying they're literally just some guy but considering how insanely stupid the rest of this has been i'm looking forward to

and yes luis cabrera is an abandoned plot thread, just like the rest of ar. and hw1. and sb. but we can't blame them for that when they're putting all their time & focus on what the series REALLY needs: shit to put in your youtube thumbnail!!!!!1!!!!!11!1!!!!

[infriga]

One piece 1129 thoughts:

LOL Luffy, hon, it's a bit late for that lmao. Also he imprisoned you guys unprovoked and seems to be holding other people captive, so you'd be excused for busting up the place a bit.

Based on some of the things Road said, about them being in a giant detainment facility designed so that giants can't escape, and that place being his little world that he fills with living dolls, AND the fact that for some reason he talks like he's from Wano... I have a loose theory forming in my head that may be proven false pretty quickly, but I wonder if he has some sort of ability related to shrinking/growing things. Because the people living in that country were thinking about how this might be their chance to escape, so it's possible they're actually giants shrunk down to human size. Or possibly even smaller, maybe the sun god/Road is actually human sized at the moment.

The fact that he talks like someone from Wano, when the cover page is conspicuously about Tama learning how to be a ninja, I'm wondering if Road is either an imposter, like a ninja using disguising techniques to pretend to be Road, or has other ties to Wano somehow. I think it's interesting that Road's current appearance is being hidden with his identity only being revealed via flashback, especially since he looks noticeably slimmer than he does out of disguise, even with the cloak taken into account. He's also using a different weapon. Even in the flashback he's shown with very wide shoulders, which could just be from the pauldrons, but the way his arms come out from them still indicates that he has wide shoulders under them too, his torso also seems quite wide as well in comparison. Though even if he is an imposter he does seem to see giants as better than humans and resents Hajrudin following Luffy. If he has some sort of ability related to changing the size of things that could explain how he could pretend to be a giant and why he might idolize giants and possibly want to be one or identify as one (It could even potentially tie in thematically to Usopp idolizing giants and seeing them as a goal in terms of strength and bravery).

Other observations that are probably a reach but could possibly fit my theory:

1) Road uses -taso as a suffix for names, 多層 (tasou) means multi-layered in Japanese. If Road does have shrinking/growing abilities then maybe the detainment facility consists of multiple layers of size warping, and maybe they're themed around different myths and stories since he was talking about them being part of his world and affecting his story, and the previous chapter was named "RPG". Would explain why he considers it a difficult place to escape.

2) Road uses a katana as his weapon. The Rou in his name could be a reference to rounin. He also showed particular interest in Nami, and the 浪 in 浪人 (rounin) can also be read as nami. Coincidence? 👀 Possibly since other people with no known connection to Wano have used katanas before lol, but who knows!

3) If the "sun god" is only pretending to be Road or if Road is imprisoning people (giants?) for someone else, it would fit in to the mole plots that we've seen in both Wano and Egghead. Though if that's the case I would have to wonder if Oda is hinting at something more with that reoccurring theme coming up so often...

But this is just wild speculation based on very little evidence so I could be totally wrong. Maybe Road speaks like a samurai because he's just meant to be a huge otaku or something lol.

Regardless, I doubt Hajrudin is aware of what Road is doing with people trapped in that room, and I bet he wouldn't be too happy about it based on his own experience with being turned into a toy while Road is calling his captives "living dolls". The big question is WHY Road is doing this since the Strawhats are clearly not the first people he's trapped.

[baenyth]

Bethany's Bizarre Miraculous Reviews: The Paris Parallel Universe Special

Big news! Parallel Universe time! Except it's mostly just visitors from another universe! Just the multiverse plot I like! In the episode 2 timeskip, I'm guessing!

Also I thought about it and decided in my rewrite AU Marinette instead falls into an alternate timeline that's my attempt at giving reason to salt fics combined with a dream I once had. The current issue I'm having is figuring out how Lila can coerce and befriend both the class members that worship Hawkmoth and Alya, who still is a massive Ladybug fan and therefore would be against said Hawkmoth worshipers. It's a dark timeline, to say the least.

I don't think being a fashion designer is a normal life, honestly.

Holy fuck, this really is an alternate timeline! Gabriel Agreste's the one doing the singing!

So why is it Kamiko instead of Akuma? I always felt like it would be Tenshi for the angel/demon parallels, not to mention how Tenshi meaning "heaven messenger" works well with them being empowered and in a way controlled by the butterfly wielder. What does Kamiko mean, anyways? I know Akuma just means "evil demon," considering their only purpose is to wreak havoc and get the Miraculouses,

Oh right. This scene again. The lighting looks different, though.

"Turns your best friend into a dimensional portal and pops out of it"

Evil fucked-up Ladybug and Chat Noir

Nope. Still not believing this is real Paris.

Wouldn't it be funny if she said "Unlucky charm!" instead? To enhance the evil reverse situation!

Alright, so how does "Tikki living in all parallel universes at once" work, anyways? Is each Tikki a small component in a grand semi-autonomous hivemind that all relay back to the Master Tikki? Does Tikki ever get messed up at what part of the universe she's talking to? Is she aware and feeling the misery of her Shadyverse counterpart I know will appear?

Claw Noir is corny as hell and feels like he's forcing himself and not being who he truly is. You can tell this isn't who he's meant to be because he's still a boy.

Honestly Claw Noir turning his staff into nunchucks is cool as hell. I hope regular Chat Noir does that sometime.

Same with Shadybug's lucky charms being guns and weapons and tools. Helpful stuff!

No way! Angel Chat Blanc!

Those two dumb jackasses are the kind of people to say "Bad morning" and "No we can't" to Bob the Builder.

Monarch's really thinking with portals now

Doomreading about her alternate self's better life and friends

So why are there evil phrase versions for the Miraculouses anyways? What purpose does it serve?

Long forms

Oh hey! This happens in my rewrite as well!

Broken

Yep, the giants are illusions.

Despite this being a timeline where bad is good and good is bad, Chloe is still evil? Honestly I think she should be a sweetie pateetie. Also because it's funnier that way.

Eh. The old outfit looked better. Just get rid of the dark makeup and make the hair tidier.

So have they been up all night?

And Ladybug has become Hatsune Miku!

Get his ass! Get his ass! Also different timelines having different appearances is very useful knowledge to me.

Nooroo's used to this shit

Yep, this never happened!

Oh god they did stay up all night

Damn, these specials are getting better and better! I'll admit, the reconciliation scene felt campy in a way I didn't like and it feels weird that even in another timeline Gabriel Agreste redeems himself more than Chloe, but other than that, good stars! Also the animation was good!

[cptn-m]

One Piece chapter 1127 review

New arc is a go… but things aren't feeling quite right here. I'm not usually one to get on board with conspiracy theories - sometimes a weird detail is just something Oda threw in because he thought it would be fun or funny, not the key to unraveling the plot; sometimes an inconsistency is legitimately a mistake or typo, to be fixed in the volume. But here, I'm not so sure. Maybe it's because we have so little in the way of context, but things are feeling wrong about the setting we're shown in this first chapter.

We are not in the Elbaf we thought we were in. From the first page: look at Yggdrasil. Compare it to the enormous tree shown in the backgrounds of Big Mom's flashback. It's too small, it's not the right shape, it doesn't cast shade over the whole island the way the real one does. Though dressed like giants, the people in the town have roughly the same scale compared to the stingermole and Lego buildings as the Strawhats do. And while the environment certainly looks like a giant child's Lego playroom, watch the way the castle comes apart during the cat attack: it doesn't scatter into pieces like a real Lego construction would, the bricks themselves crack and shatter and crumble into shards, suggesting cemented concrete or stone rather something designed to come apart and be rebuilt. Even the title plays up a "Land of Mystery" even though it would be no spoiler at all to say "Land of Giants" or something similar given all the setup this arc has had.

So where are we? Some kind of human settlement on the edge or off the coast of Elbaf? Are they people who came hopeful to emulate giant culture like Usopp has? Or is this a human zoo or pet enclosure run by a particularly cruel giant leader? Maybe whoever is playing the part of a sun god (very intriguing setup by the way) But in either case why the toy look without toy materials?

And then there's the question of absinthe hallucinations. If the whole scenario was meant to be a trip, we probably wouldn't have seen the people in the town. That kind of objective POV from people who weren't drinking wouldn't fly, we'd have been kept limited to only the Strawhats' perspective. The animals cause real physical harm, and Nami trips on and interacts with the Lego bumps on the floor, so they're not illusions. But things are weird here. They keep changing. Both the spiky thing (which has hedgehog ears but more of a porcupine snout, and doesn't fully match up with either creature) and the cat transform dramatically for creatures without (apparent) devil fruits. And the weapon of Luffy's back changes between two panels, but that one I could chalk to being a mistake, or a last minute mind change. The panel with the sword also lacks the strap going across Luffy's chest, which feels like a major detail of this new design to omit. But it adds to the strange feeling all this gives off.

(Luffy calling out the wrong gear, however, is definitely an error. It hasn't even been that long since the wrong number was used for a Cipher Pol division in the final chapters of Egghead. Sanji winding up with one leg and kicking with the other feels the same, some of these little glitches happen all the time.)

Mysteries and theories all aside, this is a tremendously fun Usopp and Nami chapter. Every single gag landed for me. Nami's expression at meeting the spike monster sets the tone and the chapter just rolls from there. Usopp taking a hit, assuming the cat is a hallucination (even he'd just been in its mouth, and Nami's reaction. (Love the cat's claws curling over the panel boarder there too.) Then she uses the broken and beaten Usopp as a shield before claiming to Sanji he was already dead. I loved it all.

I've seen some upset that Usopp is taking such a beating in what they think should be his arc, but I can't imagine being upset by something like that. You can't have much of a character arc without the character having things to learn and challenges to overcome from the experience. The last time we had a genuinely designated character's arc was Sanji at Whole Cake Island, and whatever else you can say about it, that arc brought Sanji low and kicked him while he was down, physically and emotionally. He got no climactic fight. And he lost his memory of getting the girl. But it all set him up to be stronger than ever and face even more interesting character decisions in the next arc. So if we're going to make Usopp grow on Elbaf, putting him in situations that showcase his weakness and trigger his cowardice is a good starting point.

The Egghead outfits so far are fine. Pretty standard medieval gear. The choice for Nami threatens to follow the Egghead design trends, but I'm going to wait and see on that front. The problem with Egghead's outfits wasn't that Nami was showing a lot of leg - her characterisation has always had her comfortable in bikinis and similar pieces that make sense to wear when you're around the sea. The problem was that every single female character in the arc unquestioningly picked up Nami's fashion sense and level of comfort, no matter how they were depicted previously. So the amount of variety and how in-character the outfits of Robin, Lilith and (depending on what age she presents as) Bonney will make or break the fur bikini.

As much as it can hurt to be left with a lingering mystery, I'm thrilled to see Oda still finding the inspiration to give us something new and different to start a new arc on. And with a break coming up and the new arc underway, I think now is finally the time to properly reread and review Egghead in full, which feels like a good thing to put in the place of a review next week.

[superectojazzmage]

Okay, so review for Across The Spider-Verse

In short, it was exactly as amazing as hoped, arguably more so.

Absolutely brilliant writing, direction, animation, acting, everything. Takes everything the first movie did right and improves on it while pruning out its tiny few flaws. Continues to truly capture the spirit and feel of the comics and staying as faithful to them as possible while still doing it’s own thing. Demonstrates a remarkable understanding of the character of Spider-Man and his mythos. Genuine and earnest in all the right ways, never demeans or sneers at the source material but rather lavishes it with the love and respect it deserves. Just incredible work from everyone involved.

Some specific notes:

The acting is great. Oscar Isaac and Jason Schwartzman in particular are PERFECT and steal the show as Miguel O’Hara and the Spot. The returning actors like Shameik Moore, Jake Johnson, and Hailee Steinfeld get to really show off their chops.

The humor and drama are balanced even better in this film than in the first one. The down moments hit harder, the jokes get even bigger laughs, and they never step on one another’s toes.

The action scenes are fantastic just like in the first film. Incredible and very creative fights all around.

Animators REALLY like to show off. The first film’s experimenting with different art styles gets taken up to eleven here. Lots of crazy visuals and elaborate changes in look and feel from world to world while still keeping the same broad “vibe”, and they even delve into some Roger Rabbit-esque territory. It’s really impressive. That said, just like the first film, there are some scenes that can get really literally flashy and strobing, so be aware of that if you’re especially sensitive to flashing lights. I don’t think there’s anything that’d cause issues, but just a head’s up.

The writing for the Spot was great; they closely follow his arc from the comics of starting out as a dorky, incompetent joke villain and then evolving into a terrifyingly ruthless and vindictive monster with absolutely broken powers and it’s really well done, like a bizarro inversion of an anime “hero trains to get stronger” storyline. He’s definitely one of the big highlights and was a great pick for villain.

Peter B. is everything Spider-Man should be and his relationship with Mary Jane and baby Mayday are another major highlight. Marvel editors on life support.

Miles and Gwen both get really great character arcs themselves. Poor Miles really gets put through the wringer.

Miguel is spectacularly well-done, just the right balance of sympathetic, charismatic hero and total grouchy asshole, just like he was in the comics.

Spider-Punk is a Giga-Chad.

Jessica Drew is a weird outlier in that she’s not very faithful to the comics version and the points where she IS accurate are based off one of her worst runs, in total contrast to everyone else. I feel like she was maybe meant to be a different character and got reworked into Jessica for some reason mid-production, or maybe that they had to completely alter her to use her. That being said, as a functionally new character, she’s pretty cool. Issa Rae does a good job and her design totally fucks.

The overall plot is partly a really brilliant meta commentary on Marvel’s treatment of Spider-Man Post-OMD with middle fingers fully extended at Spider-Editorial and I’m living for it. There’s also some clear commentary on the nature of adaptations and what Spider-Man as a character stands for, amongst many other things. Some very dense and heavy themes underpinning the narrative, but none of it is intrusive and you don’t need any prior knowledge aside from watching the first film.

You can REALLY tell that this and Beyond The Spider-Verse were one giant script split into two movies, because the ending is honestly pretty abrupt feeling, though it’s made pretty clear that this is just Part 1 and Part 2 will pick up from right there, so as long as you’re aware of that it’s okay. It’s a massive cliffhanger.

All in all, we walked out of the theater EXTREMELY impressed and very hyped for the next film. This was a wonderful movie that really captured the essence of not just Spider-Man but Marvel Comics as a whole. 10/10 would recommend.

[jullbnt]

I'm sorry, I don't really understand what you meant about EoW? What does it change if the Golden Goddesses die first and only create Hyrule after being reincarnated? Sorry if it's obvious haha, maybe I'm missing something ^^

I have no problem with the Three creating the entire world, that's what I understand from the "creation myth" told by the Deku Tree in OoT. The thing I have some issues with is that EoW implies that rifts have always opened throughout Hyrule even though that's never been mentioned before. But I understand that Nintendo wants to create new villains/lore and it also doesn't contradict everything that was established before, so I can live with it (and I'm really pleased that the Triforce and all are back). I guess we just need to imagine that it all happened off-screen and that the Tris always managed to close the rifts on their own before EoW. Another thing is that I thought Demise already represented primordial chaos, but maybe I was only mislead by his French name (Avatar du Néant = Avatar of the Void).

(Btw did you see that Nintendo added EoW to the official timeline a few days ago? It's no big surprise that it's on the DT between Triforce Heroes and LoZ, but it's still great to see it confirmed!)

Yes I've thought of having the dragons from SS die at some point and get replaced by the new ones from BotW (because as you said the thunder dragon demonstrated that they can die). That's one possibility I have in mind and it's probably the easiest way to do this, but I'd still prefer for them to be the same dragons from SS. I still need to think about it (as well as many other things) ^^

Since I'm not a fan of the Zonai I won't advocate for the dragons to keep the third eye haha! But it could have looked cool. I'm not sure they already had the Zonai in mind when they designed the dragons though, that's probably the explanation for the third eye's disappearance. Yes the thicker part at the end of their bodies and the big spike look a bit weird! That leonin tail would have looked good, especially on the Light Dragon since she also has a golden mane. I'm glad they didn't keep the giant horns though, they were a bit much.

I actually like the singing in SS (and Link's reactions), especially when they all gather to perform the Song of the Hero! It's mostly Faron's voice during dialogues that doesn't sit right with me. And the faces definitely look uncanny!

It's fine if you don't like this theory about the dragons! I'm not 100 % sold myself, just trying to make things work because I think having two separate sets of dragons with names inspired by the Goddesses is a bit confusing (especially if we add the Light Spirits on top of that). Water and ice are kind of the same element to me, but maybe I'm just seeing what I want to see 😆

Oh these dragon redesigns are so cool!! Let me just add a link to the original post to credit the artist (charcoaldustonmyfingers) in case anyone is still reading this.

Yes the dragons looked more unique in SS but they were actual characters so it makes sense that they would be more detailed. The names sound cool but maybe they would require an explanation as to why the Goddesses' names were mixed ^^

Oh you're right about the symbols on their foreheads in SS, I completely forgot about that. Guess I can't really act like it's not there haha! But I'll never be able to associate Farore with water and Nayru with thunder, it's really frustrating.

Yes Rauru could have mentioned that to Link, or maybe to Zelda when he explains he's the first king. And you're right they should have included something about Sonia and Rauru's descendance and the disparition of the Zonai, otherwise it just looks like a gigantic plot hole.

I know about Rhoam's diary of course ^^ It's just that I was never fully convinced by the idea that Zelda simply lacked a teacher so I tend to forget that the game provided this explanation (and I'm so used to my own headcanons that sometimes I forget they're just that). Mipha tried to help Zelda by explaining how her own magic worked, and (even though it's the cheesiest thing ever) it's rather obvious that she meant to say she accessed her healing powers by thinking about someone she loved, aka Link. Since Zelda's power awakes when she's trying to save Link, it seems Mipha was right. If so, Zelda's mother wasn't the only one who could have taught her, and maybe Rhoam should have sought the help of other magic wielders to train his daughter (kind of weird that he didn't). I really don't like the idea that Zelda's power works the same way as healing magic and that all she needed was love, but that's what the game implies (unless I'm completely wrong).

Also we don't know whether the queen and her ancestors actually possessed the same sealing power as Zelda. Being able to hear the voices of spirits is nowhere near being able to seal Ganon, but maybe the real sealing power only manifests when the Calamity appears (who knows). The thing is, that would make every woman born in the royal family a potential "Zelda". And I know it's not clear whether all Zeldas are the same person like Link is or if they only share the blood of the Goddess, but I like to think she gets reincarnated the same way Link does so that they can reunite (OoT Zelda mentions that Link is familiar to her). It just sounds weird that Hylia would make sure her Hero gets reborn over and over again but not her (and it might just be that everyone in Hyrule gets reincarnated anyway, just look at characters like Impa, Dampé or Beedle). And if all of Hyrule's princesses potentially inherit Hylia's power and just need a teacher, it sounds a lot less special. What about this "legend of Zelda", you know?

(It's also kind of dumb that no queen ever thought something like this could happen and took the time to write some sort of user manual, especially when it seems pretty common for queens to die quite young in Hyrule. I mean we've seen plenty of kings but never Zelda's mother)

Let's also remember that no other Zelda before had this sealing power, except maybe for Sky Zelda/Sun. So now if other random queens and princesses can inherit it, that would make them more powerful than all the Zeldas we know. That's another reason why I believe the Wild Era doesn't fit at the end of any of the three timelines, unless the Goddesses also changed the rules for Zelda's power when/if they merged the timelines.

My headcanon is that Zelda is the only one who can wield Hylia's power, so her mother being alive might not have made a difference. I like to believe that any Zelda needs to do the whole Skyward Sword pilgrimage with the Goddess Harp in hand in order to awake her divine nature, but of course this knowledge would get lost to time and no princess ever does it (though BotW Zelda was only missing the harp and specific rituals). In the end Zelda's desire to save Link and the bond between them as Hero and Princess would be enough of a trigger for her to bypass the rituals and access her power anyway (but not Hylia's memory as she does in SS). That's how I try to make what happens in BotW work with previous lore, but that's only my take.

Anyway I also like to believe the Queen was assassinated by the Yiga clan! I've seen this theory quite often in fanfic and it's pretty credible. I also like the idea that the "blood of the Goddess" part of Demise's curse would apply to the entire Hylian population.

I'm doing my best to find TotK's lore and story interesting, but it just doesn't do it for me. I listened to QuestWithAaron's videos (I actually think I already did so last year) and though the references to Japanese culture are evident and interesting, I just don't think it's enough to make a good story. Maybe I'm a bit too harsh, I don't know, or it's just not for me. I think Ganondorf is most interesting when he is his own character with his own motive (like Wind Waker Ganondorf), I don't want him to be nothing more than the incarnation of Demise's hatred once he gets his Secret Stone. I like the idea of Calamity Ganon being his lingering resentment or something like that, but when it comes to Ganondorf the man I expect something more. I would have loved a deeper exploration of his character with some nuance and maybe bits of his past. It had been 17 years since TP, we missed him! Now I'm not even sure we'll ever see him again and all we got was "I want to conquer" and then "I want to destroy", just because he's evil. And his little speeches about peace-loving cowards and how the world should be shrouded in darkness really didn't impress me. Sorry if this sounds harsh, I'm just so disappointed.

I agree about some of the tech, I actually really like the wings and the flame/laser throwers. I found the Mesoamerican influence interesting for the Zonai, but I think it doesn't fit the Hylians ^^

I would have disliked the Zonai a lot less if everything wasn't about them, sure. I think I would have been really happy with them being a new race populating the Depths for example, and that's kind of what I'm doing in my rewrite where I think they'll just be evolved Mogma. TotK would be a very different game without the Zonai/Rauru playing a major role though.

The thing with the "Zonai" from BotW is that this all gets very confusing. According to BotW/Creating a Champion they were a civilization mainly based in Faron Woods that worshiped a water dragon (which either means Naydra, Faron from SS or simply the river Dracos). Their statues also heavily imply that they worshiped the three aspects of the Triforce, represented by an owl (wisdom), a boar (power) and a dragon (courage). To me that sounds more like the ancestors of the Hylian themselves. And interestingly Faron in SS is associated with both water and courage (even though I don't like it haha), so the "water dragon" might really be a reference to SS. Many fans also assumed that the barbarian armor set was linked to the Zonai because its description mentioned "a warlike tribe from Faron".

Then according to TotK, the Zonai are from the sky (though they also mined the Depths), they are not a barbarian tribe but a technologically advanced race close to the gods, and one of them even was the first king of Hyrule. Also they are not shown to live in Faron Woods, and their clothing/armor looks nothing like the barbarian set. So either the Zonai had a weird barbarian phase at some point (I wouldn't expect that from sky beings but alright), either people at Nintendo simply changed their mind and retconned the Zonai from BotW.

I also don't really like the idea of Hylian-Zonai hybrids, I don't want to imagine how that works 😆 (sorry). But even if the Zonai from BotW were hybrids, the barbarian/savage/warlike part doesn't really make sense. I also can't imagine the Hero being anything but a Hylian and anyone but Link (same for Zelda), and at least if Nintendo was going to drop this Ancient Hero thing I think we were owed some sort of explanation ^^

Oh yes the gotcha machines and disposable technology were terrible, 100 % agree!

Your explanation about the Triforce vs. the Secret Stone wasn't confusing, I understand what you meant! Though I think the nature of Demon King Ganondorf is similar to that of Demise in TotK, so I still find it hard to believe that a Secret Stone would allow him to do something Demise could not (aka easily break the Master Sword). But maybe there's also a possibility that the Sword lost some of its power along the way, who knows. I also think Ganondorf has been able to corrupt the Triforce of Power before, to me that's what happens when he transforms into Ganon (he gets so drunk on power and resentment that he turns into a mindless beast that looks a lot like Calamity Ganon, and that's why Link needs the Master Sword). But I don't know, that's definitely interesting to think about!

I love Minish Cap too, it was one of my first Zelda games as well! In fact I was just replaying it last month. BotW's map definitely references locations from MC, but there are also places like Koholit Rock or Brynna Plain so it might just be more easter eggs. I'll try to see how it can work with my version of Hyrule ^^ Though my main problem with MC is more it's story. I can see perfectly how OoT follows SS, but when I try to fit MC between the two things start getting a bit clunky.

You know I don't get to discuss Zelda lore and timeline stuff in depth IRL, so this is really entertaining for me. I don't mind when you go on tangents, quite the contrary! I just hope this isn't too much scrolling 😆

Hi, sorry if this is a bit rude. 😅 I guess that I was just wondering. How would Jabul Waters, Zora Cove, & Crossflows Plaza be named in French?

I'm trying to give Jabul Waters an interesting name that works to go with my hc & I came up with "Jabuleaux." And Google Translate tells me that Crossflows Plaza would be Place des Flux Croisés. And, I'm seeing that Anse is the term to refer to a cove &, if that's true, then would Zora Cove be Zoranse? At the same time, somewhere else, it said that Anse actually means beach.

And, I believe that a town by a swamp would have cher, quier, bren, brin, or Hor- in it?

I'm sorry if this is weird... 😅

Hi! Don't worry it's not rude or weird at all! I offered to help and I'm happy to do so :D

Did you check the official French translations? I had a surprisingly hard time finding the French version of the map online so here's a screenshot I took myself:

Jabul Waters = Eaux de Jabule (this one only appears when I zoom out)

Zora Cove = Baie Zora

Crossflows Plaza = Place de l'Estuaire

In case you didn't know the Zelda Wiki often lists names for places or characters in various languages in the "Nomenclature" section of its pages. It's very helpful especially if you're searching for the original Japanese names. If we look at at the different names for Crossflows Plaza we can see that a literal translation from Japanese would be something like "Exchanging Place". I checked the Jisho dictionary and it seems to be an accurate translation, though "Place for Cultural Exchanges" would be more meaningful.

It's not exactly a good name in English so it makes sense that the localization team would come up with something like Crossflows Plaza instead, which in my opinion does a very good job of stating that this is both the place where the river meets the sea and where the two Zora tribes traditionally meet each other.

Other European languages all settled for variations of "Estuary Plaza" ("Place de l'Estuaire" in French), which is fine but looses the "cultural exchanges" aspect of both the original name and the English translation.

I've been trying to come up with a French translation of "Crossflows Plaza" but it's not that easy. To me "Place des Flots Croisés" or "Place Flots-Croisés" would sound better than "Place des Flux Croisés", but I still find it a bit weird ("flot" meaning flow, tide or stream). "La Croisée des Flots" is another option if you agree to get rid of Plaza/Place (it means "the intersection/junction of streams"), but I don't think it works very well as a name.

You could also mix words to create a name the same way it was done in English, something like "Place Croiseaux" (croiser/cross + eau/waters). If any of my French speaking followers is feeling inspired, please share your ideas! :)

(I just thought of "Place Cruciflot" and found it too funny not to mention 😆 maybe it sounds too much like crucifix)

In French we also have the word "confluence" that has the exact same meaning as it does in English: either the meeting of two rivers or a gathering of some kind. So to me the most obvious translation would be something like "Place des Confluences" or maybe "Place Confluence", as it would preserve the dual meaning, but it's not very fancy or creative. Maybe we could simply change the spelling to something like Place Konfluans, the same way "Village Côtier" (Seaside Village) is spelled "Village Kothié" (Seesyde Village). But it doesn't look like a French word anymore so I'm not sure that's something you'd like.

As for Jabuleaux, it can work but I prefer the official translation "Eaux de Jabule". Same thing for Zoranse, we would say "Anse Zora" or "Anse des Zora". The official French translation is "Baie Zora" (Zora Bay), which I think is more appropriate given the size of the sea inlet (in my understanding an anse/cove is a small baie/bay and isn't very deep). I think maybe it should have been bay in English as well instead of cove, but I might be wrong! Also I believe "anse" isn't used as often as "baie" and might be confusing for most people, so I would go with "Baie Zora".

I'm not sure where you found this information about swamps and town names? I didn't find anything to confirm it but I might not have looked in the right places.

French towns are often ancient and their names can derive from other languages such as Celtic, Occitan, Flemish, or regional dialects, so that's a very difficult question and I'm not sure I can give you a satisfying answer ^^

I still did a little search and found an Old French word for swamp, "palud" or "palu", that still appears in some town names such as La Palud-sur-Verdon, Saint-Pierre-la-Palud, Lapalud, etc. (today we say "marais" or "marécage"). You might be right about "bren", it could be something like muddy in Gallic.

There's also "vign" or "mign" (from Celtic), as in Mignéville or Lévignac, or l'Île de Migneaux on the Seine river (this one's in my city!).

Near where I grew up is a town named Hazebrouck, it literally means "hare swamp" (brouck/broek = swamp in Flemish). For a bit more French flavor you could maybe use -broucq or -breucq instead of -brouck.

I think the vast majority of French people have no clue about all of that (I didn't except for the last one and it's more Flemish than French), so I'd say don't oversweat it ;)

And that's all! I hope you'll find this helpful ^^

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

frank please.. what in the name of Colby Jack is homestuck

Ahhhh here's the question of the day

Homestuck is an online webcomic (originally a webcomic proper, but there is now also a 6000-page comic book version). It ran from 2009-2016. It is presented as a work of fiction in the same universe as Hiveswap, and in particular, Homestuck "takes place in an alternate universe where the beta timeline [aka Hiveswap] was never published." It is also a sequel to a much earlier webcomic called Problem Sleuth, though I've never read that one.

Hiveswap is an attempt to make a video game sequel to Homestuck, like I said.

Homestuck itself is essentially a parody of the epic fantasy genre. (The genre it's actually poking fun at is J.R.R. Tolkien more than anything, but it includes all epic fantasy.) It centers around a motley bunch of teenage protagonists who start by discovering magical mysteries in their hometown, and who eventually go on to travel through an elaborate fantasy world and fight an evil god. So far, pretty standard stuff. But they also find a bunch of quirky characters and RPG-gameplay elements. The characters include a teenage pirate, an alien robot, a time traveler, a strangely androgynous sentient computer, and many other oddities.

Homestuck has a variety of genre-bending and self-aware features, including a narrative that draws on a wide range of literary and media influences, and which includes a focus on four-panel webcomic "comic strips" in which "panels may themselves be words on a page, and words may themselves be letters on a page, etc." It also has a very distinctive and memorable visual style that runs throughout the comic.

One of the distinctive features of the story is that most of the plot elements are designed around a weird sequence of complex computer programs called "the kids' adventure game," which the characters begin to play at the start of the story. The game is actually an in-universe video game called Hiveswap; the characters are forced to play it in an attempt to save their world from danger. Because of this, Homestuck is more directly a work of interactive fiction in some ways than it is a standard webcomic, since the reader too is forced to follow the characters as they navigate their computer game. Homestuck is a huge epic, as I said, and many parts of the story are so complicated that their full significance is only revealed months or years after their initial introduction.

Homestuck is well known for being very, very long, with a lot of bizarre, convoluted plot twists and outlandish characters. It has many sequences and characters that, while funny or interesting at the time, were controversial or downright obnoxious in retrospect, and ended up becoming the stuff of myth (for example, a sequence where the characters explore and bicker about a fictional planet that has a single, giant chess piece that serves as its major landmark). Many long sections are more distinctive and memorable than others, and these serve as landmarks in readers' memories of the story.

Character deaths are a big issue in Homestuck, as many characters are killed off in far-off pages, and the story ends up with a huge body count. The characters are incredibly invested in one another, and remain so despite this, and despite the fact that the story spans years.

Homestuck had a very healthy online fanbase (especially on tumblr) for much of its duration. The creator(s), Andrew Hussie, made a name for himself as a sort of mercenary artist who would go to great lengths to remain mysterious (the characters themselves often allude to this in the story). He stated that he didn't really know where the plot was going when he started and simply made it up as he went along. This was a way of saying that the plot was going in unexpected directions at all times, but it also meant that the story was kind of sprawling, and could be called into question as to whether there was even a consistent plot at all. As you might imagine, this engendered a lot of devotion as well as controversy. (I think there is a sense in which this is an intentional part of the literary strategy used by Hussie in telling the story. This is a big part of what I liked about the story, even though it meant the story could sometimes feel unfocused, long-winded, or silly.)

All this is just my summarized impression of Homestuck -- I'm no expert on it, I've only read up on it a bit. I'd recommend the Homestuck wiki if you want more info. But if anyone has more to add I'd be glad to hear it!

[toaarcan]

Superhero Media and the Defence of the Status Quo

I’ve seen much discussion, mostly on this site, about how superhero media, particularly the films, tend to cast the heroes as rock-solid defenders of the norm, and the villains as the ones pushing for some manner of social change, be it good or bad.

This trope is endemic to the genre, because comics.

Comics are not designed to end. Comics are designed to go on forever. Comics have been intended to release every month in perpetuity. What changes that isn’t narrative, but finance. A run will be cut short if it fails to sell, and that’s how comic runs end. But then the publisher will get someone else in to take on the character and everything starts again.

True, each individual writer might have a plan for their run, with a plot that ends whenever. But they’re not going to be the final word. Once they’re done, and they move on to their next project, someone else will pick up those characters and that setting and tell the next chapter.

A common adage within comics is that “Every issue is someone’s first,” and that can often stifle change within a book. The book needs its familiar elements to be there, it needs those aspects that people know about the character and their world, to help ease the new people in. Or at least, that’s how the industry sees things. So every arc and shift in the landscape of the universe has to be reset at the end, so things can revert to normal.

This is especially true of the Big Two, Marvel and DC, because they’re telling stories with an inter-connected universe, and so not only does the writer on Batman have to consider the audience of their own book, but also the writers of the other eight Bat-books and also Justice League, and they can’t change Batman too much or they’ll break things.

This is also why death doesn’t tend to stick.

Here’s some examples:

1) In DC’s “DCYou” era, they heavily changed both Superman and Batman. Superman lost most of his powers and was reduced back to Golden Age levels. Bruce Wayne got amnesia and was replaced by a moustache-less, mohawk-sporting Jim Gordon in a giant robot bunny mecha. These were both deeply unpopular stories, but... well, Justice League was still running at the time, and... Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent were both still their normal selves throughout. That part of Justice League just happened before/after those points, but it was really confusing at the time, because DC weren’t telling anyone how the pieces were meant to fit together.

2) Around the same time, Marvel had done the Civil War II event, which was also garbage. At the end, Carol Danvers shoots a hole in Tony Stark’s chest for... reasons. Writer Brian Michael Bendis did this (and also killed off Rhodey at the beginning of the event) in order to replace Tony with Riri Williams, a character who... well let’s just say that Brian Michael Bendis is neither black, nor a woman, nor a genius, nor a student, and it shows. However, he also intended for an AI version of Tony to be Riri’s JARVIS or FRIDAY or whatever the new one in the comics is called. The rest of Marvel’s writers, apparently still wanting to use Tony Stark, had the AI operate as Tony Stark for the intervening years. AI Tony became Tony But Blue. People kept asking why Tony was blue, and any given crossover that started with Tony in the suit had people wondering whether the real Tony was back, because they were all written with the real Tony in mind.

3) This year, DC did a big event called Dark Crisis. It had its moments, but it was mostly empty spectacle. The inciting incident for Dark Crisis is the death of the Justice League, forcing their younger allies (Nightwing, Jon Kent as Superman, Yara Flor as Wonder Girl, etc) and also Black Adam (because movie) to step up to the plate and take on the villain that killed the original League. Did it affect the solo books of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, etcetera? Mostly, no. Clark was absent from the pages of Superman for completely separate reasons, and again, everything was very confusing as the inherent “Yeah that’s never gonna stick” factor that killing the Justice League already had was heavily reduced by the presence of the league’s founding members in their own titles.

This is also why supervillains are dealt with via cardboard prisons and nobody ever makes a good effort at fixing that. Back in the Golden Age of Comics, villains died frequently, and often at the hands of the heroes. The Joker dies in his first appearance in comics. The change was made, not because they wanted to impart good morals, but because they realised that if they used each villain for a one-off and then axed them, they’d run out of bad guys very quickly, and that would force them to keep making new bad guys for no reason, so they opted for jail instead.

The superhero as defender of the status quo happens because the medium requires it. And when they switch to a different medium, in this case movies, things don’t change much.

Often, you’ll see the change result in villains dying, because the writers don’t feel the need to use them for more than one movie. But that’s kind of about it, because the movies nowadays tend to try to be truer to the original text, which is the status-quo ruled comics.

They also keep doing the shared universe thing, so they can’t have Captain America completely upend US law in his movie without making the guy writing the next film’s life a lot harder.

[sepublic]

            In Dark of the Moon, we had this giant missile truck Decepticon named Devcon, after… The Autobot bounty hunter from G1? He’s absolutely nothing like Devcon, let’s be real, they just gave him that name because it sounded cool.

         I do want the Combaticons and Bruticus to appear in the Nizziverse, which of course means that Brawl survives the end of the first film, taken into custody and eventually freed by the Decepticons in DotM. As I mentioned, Swindle is also present in the first film, since in the video game adaptation, there was a Decepticon drone named Swindle.

         Nizziverse Swindle will of course resemble the character as we typically know him, probably taking more inspiration from TFA’s depiction. Since 2007 has our Transformers playing more covert roles amongst humanity, Swindle factors in as someone who is pretending to be a human who is controlling a smart car from afar, when in reality he IS the car. He’s supposed to be scouting out Earth as a potential colony, but mostly he’s interested in black market dealings with the native population.

         Swindle has no prejudice against organics, but he isn’t exactly their savior, either. He’s just here to make a quick buck and while keeping Cybertron is a very costly expense, he feels he has a bit more freedom underneath the Decepticons regardless. I imagine Swindle’s dealings end up as a lead that our human protagonists follow, resulting in an encounter with the Decepticons. Swindle’s mostly in it for the money, and he’s had a notorious past of selling advanced tech to organic races.

         But when the Allspark is sighted? Swindle drops everything and convenes with the other Decepticons in the area to seize the Cube. They ultimately fail and Swindle slinks away to operate in the background; Aside from maybe a brief appearance in Revenge of the Fallen, he doesn’t return until Dark of the Moon. As his fellow Combaticon, Brawl was assigned to keep an eye on Swindle, but the conman still runs circles around his teammate.

         Aside from forming Bruticus in DotM, Swindle also plays a part with Soundwave in brokering deals with local humans as part of the big Decepticon plot. This is the main reason why Swindle was sent as a scout in the first place; He’s good at working with the natives of a world the Decepticons plan to invade, turning their cooperation and deals against them for Cybertronian benefit.

         But, this all brings me back to Devcon. I want Onslaught in the Nizziverse, except he’s technically already there in The Last Knight… But let’s be real, I don’t want the leader of the Combaticons to just be a recolor of Long Haul, a Constructicon from another Decepticon combiner team. I love Long Haul’s design, but it’s not meant for Onslaught, and TLK’s version of him was too far removed to be sufficient.

         So not only am I going to reimagine the TLK character as a new Decepticon entirely, but I’m assigning the identity of Onslaught to Devcon, since that’s a much better fit than an Autobot bounty hunter. “Devcon” is big enough to form the torso and head of Bruticus, since the Combaticons will be that type of combiner like the original toys, as a contrast to the Constructicons. And as mentioned, the vehicle modes actually match!

         Given his alt-mode, Onslaught may have been present on Earth since the Cold War, and didn’t show up to fight for the Allspark because he was landlocked on another continent, and couldn’t get there in time. He acts as one of the Decepticons’ best tacticians, his command expanding beyond his fellow Combaticons, and he helps Megatron mastermind their plan in Dark of the Moon.

         Of course, that’s three Combaticons; I still need Blast Off and Vortex. Since Blast Off is a space shuttle, I want him to appear in Dark of the Moon, which is very space and NASA-themed in general. Blast Off might have a different alt-mode though, perhaps a more modern space drone, since an actual space shuttle is too disproportionately large for Bruticus’ arm, especially in contrast to Vortex.

         Blast Off helps take over for Soundwave in monitoring Earth from space, arriving after Revenge of the Fallen. He’s a VERY long-range sniper; He has the unique strategy of calculating his shots from the orbit of a planet, using gravity to help guide them down to the surface where his target is (He’s inspired by the real-life concept of kinetic bombardment).

         Said target usually has to be very large and stationary for this to be pulled off, but it’s impressive nonetheless how Blast Off times and uses the rotation of a planet to his own advantage. He can plan shots in advance, firing once, and then weeks later it finally lands. You know how snipers take into account the trajectory of the wind? So does Blast Off, but he factors in gravity and the planet’s orbit. Like in G1, he’s kind of an aloof, literally and figuratively above-it-all snob who’s VERY proud of his sniping skills and aim, and his feats have occasionally been exaggerated to claim he can nail targets from another planet entirely.

         Blast Off acts as an arch-nemesis to Cosmos, who will also appear in Dark of the Moon; He prevents Cosmos from figuring out the moon plot, acting as a defender for the Decepticon presence there. When the Decepticons launch their invasion, Blast Off assists with his carefully-timed strikes. But when the Battle of Chicago occurs, the Decepticons decide Blast Off is more needed as Bruticus than as an orbital sniper, and so he flies down to form the dimwitted combiner.

         Then we have Vortex, who is a helicopter smaller than Blackout, and… Well, since we have two Combaticons debuting in 2007 and Dark of the Moon, I guess the only space left for his debut is Revenge of the Fallen. I’m not really sure what I’ll do with Vortex here, since we already have Blackout acting as the film’s helicopter. He’s probably just gonna be thrown into the final battle for the sake of having him there, to save space in the other films, before he returns in Dark of the Moon to form Bruticus.

        This does beg the question, of course; Why aren’t all five Combaticons in place at once? That’s how Combiners best operate, to take advantage of their big gimmick. And my Watsonian reason is that by the 2007 film, Vortex and Blast Off have been critically injured and were still on Cybertron to be repaired (Bruticus must’ve gotten into a painful fist fight). 

       Their remaining teammates went ahead of them, and since they couldn’t form Bruticus, opted to split up since it made no difference that way; Hence why Onslaught is in Russia, while Brawl and Swindle are in the U.S. Vortex is repaired and arrives on Earth by Revenge of the Fallen, but it isn’t until after that film’s climax that Blast Off fully recovers, and as I mentioned before, reconvenes on Earth with the rest of his teammates.

        (Dunno if Blast Off is smitten with Onslaught like in the comics or not. There might be a subtle detail of Onslaught being the only person Blast Off doesn’t act snooty or condescending around, implying a particular respect and maybe something more...?)

[delimeful]

taking the fall (4)

warnings: pain, injury, mentions of captivity

-

Roman woke to throbbing pain in his leg and an uncannily soft surface below him.

He resisted the urge to groan theatrically as he was unwillingly dragged back to consciousness, and then resisted the urge to groan harder as he recalled just what had happened before he passed out.

He’d been seen. After all his careful planning, his little one-in-a-lifetime excursion had still landed him in the hands of a human. He wasn’t fool enough to believe that Logan had left him alone just because he’d fallen out of sight for a moment and then passed out like a wimp who couldn’t even handle a little bone-breaking.

Humans often lived in blissful ignorance, but not ‘lack of object permanence’ levels of it. Logan had definitely seen him fall, and odds were that he was now in the human’s clutches. Which was bad.

Tiny furniture hobbies aside, the guy was a textbook nerd, which was only barely a step down from an actual scientist. Roman wouldn’t be surprised at all if he woke up in one of those clear glass vials that scientists were always using on TV. Would that be better or worse than a jar? Probably worse, but if he could tip it over…

He dragged his thoughts away from the hypotheticals, well aware that he was stalling. Whatever he was laying on now, it certainly wasn’t glass.

Hesitantly, he peeked one eye open a tiny bit.

A pillow. It looked absolutely bizarre from this angle, his body just barely heavy enough to sink in and cause a few wrinkles in the fabric, but it was still recognizable as one of the huge fluffy pillows that normally rested on the human’s bed.

He turned his head a little further, and found that the pillow was on the desk that he’d previously taken a dive off of. The miniature set was still present to one side, surprisingly enough. Perhaps less time than he thought had passed, if it hadn’t been sent off to wherever Logan had promised to take it yesterday?

Or perhaps Logan had decided to forgo that responsibility in favor of his exciting new discovery. Roman shuddered.

“Hello? Are you awake?”

The voice nearly made Roman jump out of his skin, and he couldn’t help but freeze guiltily, totally giving away his awakeness. He craned his head up and saw that Logan was sitting on the desk chair, pushed back a few feet from the desk, a tiny dresser in one hand and a paintbrush in the other.

That was… considerably less menacing than he’d been expecting. “What are you doing?”

Logan blinked at him, nonplussed. “Wood detailing?”

Roman squinted at him suspiciously, trying to figure out what nefarious plans one could enact with the details of a tiny dresser. Perhaps it was supposed to be a part of some sick enclosure that the human was designing for him? He had wanted Roman to talk about the chair, of all things, so maybe he needed a tiny victim to test out his furniture.

That wasn’t exactly torture, but he still needed to escape. His presence here risked every other borrower in the building and out of it. Growing more somber, he testingly shifted his leg, trying to figure just how effective the human-applied splint actually was.

… Ouch.

“Is it sufficient?” Logan asked, unknowingly echoing his thoughts as he leaned over slightly to peer down at him. Roman pulled on his fiercest scowl, and was gratified to see the human retreat slightly. “I have pain medicine, but I was uncertain about the proper dosage, so I decided to wait until you woke up to see what you wanted to do.”

“Oh, I just bet you want me to take pain medicine,” Roman shot back sharply, ignoring the fairly nonsensical nature of what he’d just said. Like he was helping a human figure out the best ways to drug a borrower!

“... I do?” Logan replied, sounding downright confused by his hostility. “Normally, I would encourage anyone with injuries as significant as yours to seek out professional medical attention, but after witnessing your fear of me, I assumed that you would prefer to not be exposed to more humans.”

“I wasn’t afraid!” Roman snapped indignantly, and then paused as the rest of that spiel caught up with him. He was unspeakably glad that the human hadn’t been dumb enough to waltz into a human sickbay with him, but-- “I would prefer to not be exposed to you, either, BFG!”

“BFG?”

“Big Frustrating Giant!”

Logan looked dubious, but carefully averted his gaze. It wasn’t what Roman had meant, but those huge eyes being off of him were admittedly a relief. He shuffled his body to the side slightly, trying to ignore the sharp pains from jostling his leg.

“I will remind you, you are the one who came into my apartment, not the other way around,” Logan said, frowning slightly but keeping his eyes locked on the furniture in his hand. “Why were you there?”

“I’m afraid it’s none of your business,” Roman sniffed haughtily, ignoring the way his heart had sped up in his chest at the idea of making the human angry.

“Apologies, I don’t mean my apartment. I’ve already discerned that you likely find sustenance and other helpful items in human living spaces, going by the ease with which you traverse large terrain and the repurposed human items that make up your belongings,” Logan clarified, casual as anything. “I was asking why you were in my stage miniature. There is no food in it, and you must know that I would notice if anything went missing.”

Roman stared at him, feeling the blood drain from his face at the offhand way that the human had correctly guessed a lot about how borrowerkind survived, all from Roman’s unconscious presence.

It was beans like this that the rules had been designed for, so of course he would be the one to catch Roman. He set his jaw, resolving not to say anything else that might give anything away to this wannabe Sherlock.

-

Logan glanced up from the layer of drying varnish that he’d been staring at for the past thirty seconds, wondering if maybe the tiny person had fallen back into unconsciousness.

But no, despite their silence they were still awake and glaring at him, brow furrowed and arms crossed firmly. He tilted his head curiously, trying to indicate that he was listening, but it seemed they didn’t plan to answer at all.

“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine,” he said, hurriedly looking back to the miniature he was fiddling with in an effort to not stress the tiny person out any further. “I simply wanted to see if there was anything you needed that I could provide you, since I’m partially responsible for your injury.”

“Partially?” they echoed, incredulous.

Logan nodded. “I startled you, and your attempt to flee led to injury. I should have known better than to move so quickly, particularly with the disparity in our sizes.”

“That was a strategic retreat,” they emphasized, “and you never would have caught me if you’d moved slowly. I’ll have you know I’m no slouch.”

Caught them…?

“My intention wasn’t to grab you,” he said. “I was reaching for one of the chairs to try and compare the scale. If it was incorrect, it would have been obvious when put side by side with you.”

“Yes, yes, I already guessed that you have nefarious furniture-related plots for your poor captive, you don’t have to explain it.” They were rolling their eyes when Logan glanced at them, and seemed to be an inch or two away from where he’d originally placed them on the pillow.

It felt to Logan as though they were talking cross-ways, even more so than his usual pop culture reference confusion(and didn’t it just figure that a tiny person that lived in the walls was more familiar with human colloquialisms than him?) during conversation. Perhaps it was due to their less than fortuitous first meeting?

“It seems like there might be some misconceptions here,” he tried. “I’m not keeping you captive.”

The stranger lifted a skeptical eyebrow, spreading their arms to gesture at the surrounding area. “Aren’t you, though?”

Logan followed the gesture, eyebrows drawn in. As far as he knew, a pillow on top of his desk hadn’t turned into an impenetrable prison within the last few moments. “No. I’m not.”

“So if I were to, say, walk out right now, you’d just be all peachy-keen with it?” they asked, almost condescending in their doubt. “You wouldn’t try to stop me from leaving?”

Logan paused, a firm denial on the tip of his tongue. “Are there others like you nearby?”

That seemed to be the wrong thing to say, going by the way their tiny hands went white-knuckled for a moment.

“No,” they answered mulishly, “I’m the only one of my kind. And I’ll have you know, if there were others-- which there’s not-- I would never sell out my hypothetical fellows for my own freedom!”

“That’s…,” Logan sighed, deciding not to mention how incredibly dubious he was of the likelihood that there was only one of a species. “That’s not what I meant. You clearly pursue an active lifestyle, I just wanted to ensure that there would be someone to support you and help you recover from your injuries. You won’t be able to even walk on that limb for a fair bit of time without permanently damaging it.”

Logan thought for a moment that he’d gotten through to them, witnessing the way trepidation lingered in their expression when they looked down at their leg, but then they shook their head firmly.

“That’s just an excuse! I know that you’re planning on keeping me, humans always do. I’d rather deal with a permanent limp than be a pet in one of your little dollhouses,” they spat, vitriol in every word. “So either let me go or admit your foul plans!”

The words were sharp, designed to incite, but Logan was used to scanning for the tiniest of flaws in his work, and he could spot the subtle signs of fear that his tiny visitor was just barely concealing. Clenched fists to hide shaking hands, the curl to their shoulders that suggested they wanted to curl up defensively, even their expression wobbled slightly when Logan spent a moment too long looking at them.

He took a deep breath, trying to ease the tension in his own frame and put them a little more at ease. An impossible task, considering they expected him to-- to know that they were a talking, feeling person and try to ‘keep them’ anyhow, but it helped clear his head.

“What will it take?” he asked, keeping his voice even.

“Um, what?” they asked, thrown off.

“To get you to stay here, just until you heal. I’m asking this of you, so it’s only reasonable that you ask for something in exchange,” Logan said. “If we can’t come to an agreement, I’ll leave you to your own devices, but there has to be something you want badly enough to remain here for a few weeks.”

“And what, you’ll just give it to me and let me leave after I’m all healed up?” they asked, continuing their trend of acting like a future in which he acted with normal human decency was an impossibility.

“Yes,” Logan answered, as earnest as he could manage. “That’s part of the arrangement. I would also like to know your name and pronouns, though that is secondary to being allowed to treat you.”

“What if I said you weren’t allowed to grab me? Or touch me at all?” they asked.

“That would be acceptable,” Logan replied without hesitation, mentally trying to figure out how non contact would alter a treatment plan.

“And you… you aren’t allowed to take notes on me! Or pictures!” they continued, watching him intently. He kept his expression agreeable, only nodding. “And you have to give me food, you can’t withhold it or make it part of another deal.”

“Medical treatment for someone on bedrest also includes things like meals and mental enrichment,” Logan replied, concealing the displeasure he felt at the idea that someone else would have tried that in his position. He really did hope these were all hypotheticals.

“And… and…,” they cast about, looking for something else to add to their ‘ridiculous’ demands, “I also want a sword!”

Logan paused, admittedly caught off guard. “A functional one?”

“Yeah-- yes, that's right! I want a sword perfectly sized to me, entirely functional, or the deal is off!” they replied, smug as though they thought they’d finally found something he’d refuse.

Unfortunately for him, Logan wasn’t the type to be deterred by a challenge. “I’ll have to go through some prototypes, but it can’t be too different from some metal decor I’ve worked on in the past.”

“Sorry, what now?” they asked.

Logan was already reaching for a post-it to jot down ideas for the base source of metal-- A nail? Or perhaps a piece of old silverware?-- eyes bright with anticipation. “I’m saying that you have a deal. You’ll stay here, and I’ll make you a sword.”

Caught up in schematics as he was, he completely missed his guest’s exasperated groan.

[fireemblems24]

Why I Never Really Talk About Claude

Because there's nothing to say. As much as I hate to say it.

NOTE: I love Claude, and this is in no way meant to say anything bad about him, but Verdant Wind and how it handles him. I didn't tag him, but I want Claude fans to give me their amazing meta analysis and help me indulge in his character. So if you see this - no hate. Please send love.

Gronder Field was obviously a huge turning point for AM and Dimitri - and trust me, I'll definitely get to that - but ironically it was also an eye-opener for VW.

This game is four routes, and at first I tried to give all four their dues, but lately I've talked almost exclusively about CF and AM. With CF on hold until the other routes are also at their final chapter(s), it's become more apparent how little I mention SS and VW.

SS is obvious. It lacks a strong central figure. Rhea is MIA. Edelgard has no presence. Claude and Dimitri weren't supposed to be big characters here, and they aren't. Byleth is too much of a non-character (by design) to pull the weight of a route on his own (my SS is M!Byleth).

But what about VW? What happened?

Initial Impressions of Claude

Claude's writing, before any other character, got my attention. Edelgard I was already biased towards before even opening the game, fueled by her stark difference in design/unit type than other FE leading ladies and knowledge that her route had a split. Hilariously, Dimitri's the one I paid little attention too. But once I actually started the game and heard the characters talk and such, it was Claude who stood out the most.

Claude was witty, promising, and mysterious in a natural way and not the "yeah, sure" way I felt towards Dimitri's "darkness." 😅Edelgard turned out exactly how I expected (and not in a bad way); it was Claude who proved unexpected. It was his prologue dialogue I enjoyed the best, his class introductions that made me laugh.

But sadly that interest burned out.

Edelgard continued to demand my attention throughout part 1. I didn't always agree with her, but I did stay invested in figuring out what her deal was, what she'd do next, etc . . . She surprised me, intrigued me, made me want to discuss her ideas.

Dimitri blindsided me. He tore at my heartstrings without even trying. Ever since the Lonato rebellion, Dimitri got my attention and never let it go. His empathy and stark contrast with his revenge, the truth about his darkness, and so, so much more took him from "there's a third guy" to hands down favorite.

But what did Claude have going for him? Looks? Sure. A fun personality? Definitely. But what about plot, conflict, growth? Throughout part 1, I wanted to know more about what Edelgard planned behind the scenes and her ideals. And during that time, my heart ached for Dimitri as I watched a battle he kept losing and felt so conflicted about his desire for revenge.

What did Claude feel? What did he want? I still kind of don't know. Lack of prejudice between borders? Me too! But what does that have to do at all with what's happening in the game? Nothing. Nothing at all.

Gronder Field

Gronder Field made it just how apparent Claude and VW feels like an awkward third wheel.

During the cut scene, Dimitri and Edelgard had parts that made me (or would've made me) desperate to know what on earth was going on with them. Why is Edelgard invading everyone and, once again, trying to kill her classmates? If she's sad about it, why did she start this war? WTF happened to Dimitri? WTF is going on in the Kingdom? If I wasn't in the middle of it, I'd plan to get to CF and AM asap.

Claude says nothing interesting. Nothing intriguing. It's a throwaway line any character could've said about how this is such a bad class reunion. Honestly, it feels like he got dumped with the lines they needed for advertising because the other two were too caught up in having an actual storyline.

Throughout the game, there's moments that would've made me desperate to play CF and AM, but Claude really hasn't gotten the same treatment.

Claude Deserves Better

The thing is, I like Claude. Writing this reminded me what a fantastic impression he made initially. I love his drive for knowledge, the almost idealistic world he lives to create despite his world-weary character, and how he seemed far more mysterious than the other two (and still is frankly), and didn't get used as a tool to pander to the player self-insert nearly as much either.

But he's been given nothing to work with. Rhea, Edelgard, and Dimitri all have desperate stakes in what happens. Claude doesn't. Or it feels like he doesn't. Even more of the students and faculty have more going on than poor Claude. Things are desperate, emotional, full of conflict, growth, and action. This is what makes someone connect to a story, but Claude feels so disconnected that it's hard to invest.

VW feels less like a cohesive story that could stand on its own and more like a series of battles strung together. Claude has neither Edelgard's strong motivations and active presence nor Dimitri's strong motivations and dynamic development.

It's in the details too. In CF, people are fighting for Edelgard and the Empire. In AM, people are fighting for Dimitri and the Kingdom. In SS, people are fighting for Byleth, Rhea, and the Church of Serios. In VW, people are fighting for . . . Byleth.

I mean, even in FEH Claude doesn't get special treatment. It seems Legendary Edelgard got a giant advertisement video for her release, and Legendary Dimitri got his own mini-foreging bonds with full voice acting. Legendary Claude got nothing. Maybe he's not as popular are the other two (I've stayed out of the fandom outside of my blog for obvious reasons - so I don't really know), but maybe the reason he's less popular (I'm assuming) is because there's a lack of emotional resonance compared to the others.

Honestly, it makes me irritated. Claude has so much potential as a lead character. There's so much to work with, but the game just doesn't play to his strengths, doesn't connect his desires and goals to the plot, ignores Almyra, and has him remain distant from everyone - including the plot. He deserves better.

Claude Fans, I Need Your Help

That said, I know, for fact, I am overlooking parts of his character. Claude fans, please help! Send me your analysis of his characters, what you admire, what his faults are etc . . . (please just no spoilers post Gronder, if you let me know I need to read it later, I'll like it go back to it).

I'm playing all 4 routes at the same time, which means I'm doing monastery weeks back-to-back-to-back-to-back - which means lots and lots of supports all at once. It's impossible for me to retain all that information. There are definitely Claude moments I've overlooked and forgotten.

I also know, for fact, that when you love a character, you can write an entire essay off of one line of dialogue/scene (yes, I've done it 😅). Please send me those essays. I want more Claude love on here, because I'm quickly remembering how much I loved Claude.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Truth

Hey. Hey guys. Remember when I said I was feeling optimistic about this season? God, that was funny, wasn't it?

Let's just... Let's just get into the actual first episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Truth.

We start off with Gabriel repairing the damaged Peacock Miraculous, which also restores Duusu's sanity, before he quickly gives it a test run by transforming with both it and the Butterfly Miraculous.

And good lord, the result looks atrocious. This is the design for the new and improved Hawkmoth? First off, the peacock feather eyepatch looks stupid. Is he trying to be the Phantom of the Opera? When Mayura had the same thing, it didn't completely cover her eye and matched her color scheme. It just doesn't match with this new design here. Other than the feather, the peacock aesthetic is barely visible here. The most we get is a peacock feather pattern on the back of his jacket. And then there's the popped collar and coattails, which only look more ridiculous than menacing. What made the original Hawkmoth design work was how sleek it was. It was simplistic, which reflected Gabriel's no-nonense personality. This just looks gaudy and unnecessary. How was this right after the amazing suit the animators gave Dragonbug?

So after Gabriel designs another stupid looking outfit, we cut to Marinette, who's still trying to figure out how the Miracle Ball works. She accidentally opens it, letting the Kwamis out, who wreak havoc on her room because Marinette suffering is going to be a big part of this episode. This just raises the question: Why can't Marinette simply order them back into the box like Su-Han did, or rather, is going to do? It's still not established what gives the Guardians authority over the Kwamis in the first place.

Two of the Kwamis accidentally start a video chat with her friends, leading to some more Unfunny Marinette Slapstick. But Alya thinks something's up with her friend.

Has Marinette even told Alya she's already in a relationship? Like, at all? It feels like all Alya is there for now is to remind the audience that Marinette and Adrien are “meant to be”, even if they're both in relationships right now. It's either that, or teasing Marinette over her crush and doing nothing to help her anxiety.

Marinette accidentally ends the call, before Luka calls to thank her for the pictures of Adrien one of the Kwamis accidentally sent him. Yeah, even though he barely appears in this episode (barring his scenes at Cat Noir), they're going to talk about Adrien a lot. Marinette continues to stammer around Luka (once again making fun of people who have speech issues), but Luka, being the ray of sunshine in any abysmal episode he's in, is completely understanding of it. He also sets up a pretty funny joke.

Apparently, Marinette missed her last date with Luka yesterday to see a movie that was re-released, Crocodile Heart, that was actually Jagged Stone's first movie. I wonder if it's connected to Crocodile Dundee.

While walking to the movie, Luka and Marinette play a game finishing the lyrics of a Jagged Stone song, establishing the former as a huge fan of the rock star. Before we can actually get an on-screen kiss for Lukanette, Mr. Pigeon attacks yet again, because I guess he's the first villain Hawkmoth wants to use in his new form.

Cat Noir sneaks up on Ladybug, causing her to accidentally throw him off a building before catching him, chastising him for the stupid jokes, yet Ladybug has to apologize for missing patrol with her partner, who casually acknowledges her new status as Guardian before the two go and fight Mr. Pigeon.

By the time they defeat him, the movie ends as Marinette gets back, disappointing Luka. We then get a montage of Marinette bailing on Luka multiple times to stop Akumas and Sentimonsters. To his credit, Luka is seriously torn up by all the times Marinette leaves him, showing he isn't just a calm soul.

After Marinette gets back, Luka takes her underneath a bridge to listen to the echoing sound of the water. Luka says that he never knew his father, and he would always go here to relax whenever he got stressed. He uses this to segue into asking Marinette where she constantly disappears to. He doesn't pressure her or anything like Alya, and he even says that if she still loves Adrien, he'll understand. He only asks for the truth. Unfortunately, Marinette can't tell him the truth, which just breaks the poor boy's heart.

Hawkmoth, now calling himself Shadowmoth, sends out an Akuma and an Amok for Luka at the same time, corrupting a guitar pick signed by Jagged Stone that Marinette gave him. And again, to Luka's credit, he fights back against Shadowmoth's influence at first, saying he trusts Marinette, but the temptation of knowing the truth is too good to pass up. He tells Marinette to run before being akumatized into Truth, assisted by the Sentimonster Pharro.

Truth's design is... pretty forgettable. The guitar pick being prominent around his neck is a nice touch, but it's just a generic black bodysuit with light blue highlights, and he has a third eye instead of a visible mouth. Pharro is also pretty boring, just a giant eye that freezes people in place so Truth can use his powers to make them tell the truth.

So Truth goes back to where everyone else was hanging out before he was akumatized and asks Alya to tell him the truth about Marinette.

Yeah, he's right, Alya. That's what you believe. We're supposed to treat Alya saying Marinette loves Adrien as an unbiased source. Truth asks Rose, Mylene, Tom, and Sabine what Marinette's secret is in this episode, and they all say she's in love with Adrien. That isn't actually the truth. It's like asking an atheist if there is a God. You know what they believe is the truth, but you don't know if that answer is actually the truth. Why not have them reveal other secrets about Marinette, giving the audience subtle character details? Like the writers could make someone say stuff like she still sleeps with a nightlight on, or that she secretly gets cookies from another bakery.

You know what also would have worked? Instead, have Truth catch Marinette before she transforms into Ladybug, ask who she actually loved, and then she'll blurt out Adrien's name, shocking both her and Luka. This could also make Ladybug's confidence in herself waver throughout the episode, wondering if she actually loved Luka at all. That would have been much better drama than what we're going to get instead.

Ladybug charges in to stop Truth, but is zapped by his truth ray, meaning she'll be forced to tell the truth when asked any question. Before she can admit her identity, Cat Noir saves her by retreating with her into the Seine, before reassuring Ladybug that he wouldn't force her to tell the truth by force. It's a nice bit that does show he respects Ladybug's secret, a far cry from his behavior in episodes like “Syren” and “Frozer”. Truth turns his attention to his mother Anarka, and asks who his father is.

Yes. Seriously. This is happening. Luka's father is actually Jagged Stone. I have... mixed feelings regarding this development, but my biggest question is, well... they're doing this now? They couldn't save this for another episode? I mean, was focusing on Luka and Marinette's relationship (something that had been established since Season 2) not good enough of a plot for the writers? Why shoehorn in this plot development? Why not save this part as a teaser for a future episode? You know, have Luka walk home, and remember what he made his mother say as Truth, setting up an episode focusing on his relationship with Jagged Stone.

But no! Instead, we're just supposed to go along with the plot taking a detour. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't want Jagged Stone to appear in this episode.

Truth heads over to the hotel where Jagged Stone lives and asks him if he's actually his father, the latter admitting that Anarka was right. Truth naturally isn't happy.

Well, to be fair, it's still a better title than his first drafts, like “It's Not My Fault the Condom Broke”, or “Up Yours, I'm Not Paying the Child Support, Bitch”.

Honestly, I can get what the writers are going for, and I like the idea of them trying to give some depth to a character who was mostly used for comic relief in earlier episodes. The problem is, as much as they want to portray Jagged as regretful for walking out on his family, it still doesn't excuse him for never even bothering to check in on his children and their mother while writing a song about it. He doesn't even bother to give some money to the person he knocked up.

I'm not saying a conflicted relationship like this can't work in animation (a decent example being Steven Universe slowly growing to resent his mother for her time as Pink Diamond and believing his birth was an excuse for her to avoid responsibility), but you need to put more emotion into this. I don't come from a broken home, but if it turned out my dad was, let's say, “Weird Al” Yankovic, even if I enjoy his music, I wouldn't be happy that he decided to come back now of all times without so much as a “hello”.

Truth goes to Marinette's house/bakery, and starts looking for Marinette's diary to find out her secrets. It's almost like the minor plotline that he has a deadbeat dad was only there to eat up airtime. Ladybug is still affected by Truth's powers, and not long after she summons her Lucky Charm, Cat Noir is zapped too, so he starts asking questions that basically amount to complimenting certain qualities he and Ladybug have. When Ladybug asks him what he thinks about her being Guardian, Cat Noir says nothing's changed between them. It's a nice strategy, very reminiscent of when they had to talk in rhyme when fighting Frightengale. I'm also glad they aren't trying to play up Cat Noir not feeling as important immediately now that his partner has access to top secret information.

Cat Noir Cataclysms Pharro, but rather than destroying the Sentimonster, it causes it to go out of control, accidentally paralyzing Truth with some manipulation from her and Cat Noir. Ladybug then de-evilizes both the Akuma and Amok, defeating Truth.

Marinette struggles to find the words to explain things to Luka, but he says that he'll be waiting for her when she's ready. While walking back to his houseboat, Luka runs into Jagged Stone, who promises to write a song together with him. Because I guess Shadowmoth was kind enough of him to not erase that part of his memory. And of course, Luka just accepts this despite the fact that Jagged was absent from his entire life.

So according to this show, you shouldn't bother to give mean people a second chance, but it's okay to give your deadbeat dad a second chance without harboring any negative feelings? I'm sorry, but I just don't see the point of shoving in this subplot if you're barely going to do anything with it before coming to a resolution. If there was more detail put into it, like if Luka just angrily lashed out at Jagged for abandoning his mom, I would have been more open to it. But in the end, this major character revelation is nothing more than filler the episode doesn't need.

We cut to what I'm surprised doesn't happen at the end of every episode given how much crap she gets, Marinette crying in her bed, saying it's too dangerous to have a boyfriend thanks to Shadowmoth. One of the Kwamis apparently doesn't know what crying is, so Marinette asks them to give her a hug, and the showrunners really need to find another song to play at the end, because the upbeat song playing doesn't go with Marinette crying at all. Imagine if this song played at the end of Deep Space Nine's “In the Pale Moonlight” when Captain Sisko confessed to basically being an accessory to the murder of an alien ambassador. It'd be tonally jarring, wouldn't it?

Even the ending image doesn't feature Luka and Marinette together. Instead, he's hugging it out with Deadbeat Stone like everything's okay.

So yeah, that's how the episode ends. In case you couldn't tell, I thought it was awful.

Remember in my New York Special review, where I theorized that Astruc rewrote it to focus more on Adrienette to stop people from shipping Lukanette? I have another theory that I also want to be taken with a grain of salt. I think this episode might have also been rewritten a little to follow up on that. I mean, why else would Astruc spend two seasons building up Luka's relationship with Marinette only to rip it away the episode after they officially get together? It would also explain why it feels like there's two separate episodes going on with how shoehorned in Jagged Stone is.

But other than that, this episode managed to screw up the one thing I was actually looking forward to about this season, seeing Marinette together with Luka. Even if they were going to break up, I was hoping there would at least be a character arc for Marinette where she realizes what she truly wants in a relationship isn't with Luka, leading into a relationship with Adrien where she feels more confident in herself. I was at least hoping their relationship would last more than A SINGLE EPISODE.

In fact, remember that tweet Astruc made soon after the New York Special, defending Marinette and Adrien essentially cheating on Luka and Kagami respectively?

What exactly was so complicated about Season 4 when you're immediately going to break up a couple you spent two seasons building up? Astruc's predictions are about as accurate as Uri Geller.

And then there's the fact that all everyone talks about this episode is Adrien. Marinette's wall is covered with pictures of him, Alya thinks her friend's abnormal behavior is because Adrien's in the room with her, Luka somehow knows Marinette loves Adrien and is actually cool with it, and everyone else thinks that it's her biggest secret. How convenient is it that all of this happens when barring his scenes as Cat Noir, Adrien doesn't appear in this episode barring a five second cameo?

When I was writing this episode, I saw a tweet Astruc made addressing a question someone posed, asking why Adrien didn't get as much screentime in the recent Shanghai Special. He said that “history does not revolve around him”.

For the love of God, writers, just give Marinette a plotline that doesn't revolve around her feelings for Adrien for once. People already started to get sick of it halfway through last season. Either have her confess and make the Love Square canon, or stop letting it dominate the main story for once. Why can't the writers just let her move on from Adrien for more than a single episode? Give her a goddamn break already.

I once again have to ask: what was the point of building up a relationship between Luka and Marinette since Season 2, if you're just going to break them up the second they get together? Why make a big deal about Marinette's conflicted feelings for both Adrien and Luka if you're just going to ignore her feelings for the latter in favor of the former? And remember, chronologically, this was right after the end of Chloe's “damnation arc”, another plotline that had been built up since Season 2 only to be aborted in favor of “sUbVeRtInG tHe AuDiEnCe'S eXpEcTaTiOnS”. It feels like the writers are trying to punish people for getting emotionally invested in any storyline that doesn't relate to the holy pairing that is the Love Square.

This episode is just frustrating to watch. Part of me knew Marinette and Luka were going to break up, but I didn't think it would be this bad, and it would be so soon. I'm glad they're on somewhat good terms, and I liked the buildup to Luka realizing Marinette might not trust him, but the timing of this episode is what baffles me the most. Is it any wonder I think Astruc may have rewritten this episode?

If any Lukanette shippers need to recover, I'd recommend checking out @mc-lukanette​. They have some wholesome one-shots and fix-it fics for some of the weaker episodes of the series. In fact, she already wrote a fix-it to this abysmal episode that’s so much better than what we got.