#hes judging us for putting him in jars

[holybibly]

For bunnies who, like me, can't stop thinking about stalker Yunho.

Yunho is a good boy, the most diligent of them all. He's always been this way, apart from a few innocent lies as a child or a few biscuits stolen from the jar when no one was watching. But he has never done anything bad enough to make him feel really guilty. Yunho is a good boy, the nicest of all. He loves his family, his job at the little bookshop on the corner, cosy romantic films, and the thick taste of hot chocolate that melts on his tongue. But there is something he loves more than all of that. 

What Yunho loves most is your used panties, no matter how much he embarrassedly admits it. 

"Oh, God..." The sound of his voice is low and husky, his mouth ajar as he presses it against your expensive silk panties, the rich, creamy fabric sliding down his nose and tickling the flushed skin of his cheeks with the exquisite French lace. 

These are his favourites, although he is equally fond of the lovely peach ones with the little bow at the front that you wear most often. He can tell by the smell, not that he has looked up your skirt... yet. Yunho is too shy for that, and he's not sure he wouldn't get arrested if he tried to put his head up your skirt to see what kind of panties you're wearing on a given day, or if he put his face between your legs as how he always fantasises about and touching the wet, soft fabric with his tongue. Yunho is pretty sure he could easily identify them by the feel of them in his mouth; after all, he's sucked or licked them too many times not to know that. 

But for now, he's quite content to enjoy the taste and the smell of your used panties, and to see you three times a week when you go to his bookshop to buy a new book or some stationery that you keep losing. And you don't need to know that Yunho keeps your pens and pencils in the top drawer of his bedside table. You like to suck on the tip of a pencil when you're concentrating; Yunho likes to suck on it when he's fucking his pillow, imagining it's your tiny, squelching with mucus pussy stretching so beautifully around his cock.

Right now, he's sitting comfortably on your bed, stroking his hard, leaking cock in lazy motions. He's pressing the sticky, slightly damp fabric of your panties, which you'd taken off this morning before going to work, to his face. Yunho rubs the soiled silk between his fingers, feeling the trace of your juices on his fingertips as he takes them into his mouth, sucking sweetly, savouring every hint of your taste. He'd give anything to get a real taste of you.

One of his favourite fantasies is one in which he worships your pussy with his tongue. He knows you'll love it too, judging by how often you highlight such scenes in those kinky novels you read at night. He's read them all; he knows exactly how to make you go crazy for it. Yunho is a diligent student; he's learnt his lesson to perfection. 

Yunho imagines spreading your legs wide, burying his face in your pussy. He will treat you like a true princess and show you how much you deserve to be pleasured and worshipped. He will spread your labia with his fingers and stick his tongue as deep into your hole as he can until his nose rests on your clit and he can no longer breathe properly.

He would let you use yourself as a toy if you wanted him to; he would let you grab his hair and rub your cunt all over his face until you came in his mouth. He would also want you to ride his face while he fucks you with his tongue; he would love to do this as long as you give him permission to learn how to make you cum so that he can do it when you ask him to. It doesn't matter if he cum or not, but he knows he will; he just needs to get close enough to you to do it, not to mention that he has thought about being your boyfriend. He'll go out with you, he'll buy you cake and hot chocolate, he'll love your cat, he'll look after the flowers on your window, he'll give you kisses and spend time with you when you're depressed, and he'll screw you at any time of the day, whether he's busy or not. And he's tough; you can bite or bruise or dig your nails into his back or beat him; he can take anything and much, much worse if it's for you. 

His tongue sticks out to lather your panties with his saliva, barely thinking, his grip on his cock tightening as he jerks himself faster and harder, as if you were the one jerking him off, wrapping your tiny palm around his heavy, hot length so you can sit on it afterwards. Wouldn't that be the ultimate prize? He'd have no problem getting his tongue inside you and sucking your clit for hours on end, but actually fucking you would be a whole other realm of pleasure that he has no idea even exists. You would look so beautiful with your tiny, plump pussy stretched around his cock, and he could be so gentle with you, fucking you like it was your first time—and he really hopes it is because virgins are all dirty; they are the most kinky little desperate bitches who dream of a hard big cock, and Yunho will give you that; he will give you everything. But he can also be rough with you; he can fuck your brain; he can make you squirt over and over and over again. He can even play with you and take you without your consent, the way you have dreamed of it while you were finger-fucking yourself and reading about it in your book. He knows your desire to have him tear you apart, and who is he to deny you that?

He can dream many things. He can dream long enough so that he doesn't realise what he's doing until it's too late, until he feels himself coming and he has nothing to hold on to to hide his presence from your gaze. Nothing but the panties in his hand, which he has no choice but to press against his cock and watch as his cum shakes out in strands so thick they begin to seep through the fabric. 

Yunho looks down at your ruined panties wrapped around his cock, all wet and sticky, and thinks about how one day he's going to cum on your pussy just like that, make it dirty, make it his.

[wtfaniii]

Could you do the squid game characters x reader who likes to eat weird food combos?

I keep getting judged for my food choices 😔🤘

I understand you, HAHAHA I also tend to eat strange things sometimes

Squid game characters reaction to strange food

Your palate is very versatile and there are some people who may or may not like it.

We return to the requests!! Thank you for your wait and sorry for the delay ♡ I haven't reviewed this yet so sorry for any spelling mistakes :D and tell me if you would like me to add any character to my list

In-ho

Due to him job he rarely eats at his respective times so you are in charge of bringing him food and making sure he doesn't starve.

He appreciates what you do, he means it, he appreciates knowing that there is someone who cares about him even in the smallest thing like food, but every time he sees you enter his office with a covered silver tray he feels like his soul leaves his body for a few moments.

But seeing you smile silences any complaints he has, the food you make him knows that you make it with love and effort but damn, ¿hot cakes with bacon on top?

"¡Taraa!" You said proudly, putting the tray in front of him after having uncovered it and revealing your peculiar food combo "¡You have to try it! It looks weird but feels like a party in your mouth!"

The emotion in your voice silenced him for the second time, with a tight smile he took the cutlery and took a piece of the soft hot cake and joined it with the fried bacon, he brought it to his mouth under your watchful gaze and took a bite, he admitted it, sometimes he threw away your food but this combination definitely looked more decent than the previous ones.

And to him surprise it didn't taste bad.

"Mmmhh, it's delicious" He admitted eating his breakfast more enthusiastically, salty and sweet would be his favorite combination.

Jun-ho

The work day was quieter than usual, so you and Jun-ho had free time to talk and relax in the seats of the patrol car, being a traffic officer was boring sometimes.

But fortunately for you and unfortunately for him, you always had your favorite snack with you.

“Fries with honey” he sighed as he leaned back against his seat, watching as you pulled the bag of fries and a jar of honey out of your backpack.

"If you gave them a chance you'd see how good it tastes" you said flashing your tongue at him in a childish and playful manner to which he just laughed as he took the bag of chips from you and took a handful to eat.

"No thanks, the last time I listened to you I was in the bathroom for three hours."

You laughed out loud at his comment, he was right, you made him eat pizza with honey and his poor stomach suffered all day, maybe he didn't have the same resistance as you but you still enjoyed forcing him to eat sometimes just to make his body uncomfortable, that way Jun-ho would have fun and embarrassing anecdotes to tell.

The Salesman

"I finished my round for this day, it's your turn" Exclaimed the elegant and well-groomed man, standing next to you to hand you the briefcase, but a clear expression of disgust formed when he saw the food you had in your hands "¿What are you eating?"

You swallowed the bite in your mouth and excitedly showed him your peanut butter and pickle sandwich.

"My lunch, ¿do you want some?" You asked getting up from the park bench you were on and bringing your food closer to him face, a gesture that was out of pure kindness, he saw it as a threat to his person.

"Take that abomination away from me" He demanded with an expression of disgust and taking a step back using the briefcase as a shield "And look how dirty you got, go to the bathroom and get ready, we must have an impeccable appearance"

You looked at the candy stain on your jacket and twisted your lips when you saw that effort for your appearance had been of no use, as recruits they had a dress code.

"Hold this for me" you said and before he could complain you handed him your sandwich and walked to the nearest public women's bathroom.

This combination continued to seem strange to him and he held it away from him as if it were some toxic food, but after a few seconds his curiosity got the better and he took a bite of your lunch, when you returned, you surprised him eating and you smiled triumphantly, from that day on, you always brought an extra sandwich for him.

Gi-hun

For him, the food you brought him was horrible, he could barely swallow it or hold it in his mouth, so every time you brought him a snack he would throw it in the trash without you noticing.

Until one day he came home disappointed at not having found the salesman and found you standing in the middle of the living room with your arms crossed and a look of annoyance on your face.

Out of inertia he tried to back out and close the door, you didn't get angry often but seeing you do it meant risk and he definitely had in mind the reason for your displeasure, he had forgotten to take out the garbage bag this morning and if you took it out you probably found all the food you had made during the last three days.

"Don't even think about leaving" you threatened him with just your voice, forcing him to stay completely still "If you didn't like my food, you could have told me"

Now your voice didn't sound angry but yes hurt and disappointed, Gi-hun felt terrible and went to you to explain "I appreciate what you do for me, ¿but should I really eat pizza with applesauce on top?"

"You don't appreciate the art of cooking" you said dramatically, putting a hand to your chest "If you don't try it, you won't know if you like it"

He knew you were right, but damn, eating that was a sensation quite comparable to when he was in those games, however, as long as he saw you happy he agreed to try one of your peculiar combinations in front of you so that you would be sure that he tried it, he didn't like it but making him try new dishes was a success for you, now you just had to know which combination would be his favorite.

Gyeong-seok

This man is used to seeing and trying strange food, his daughter sometimes made him eat combinations without being entirely willing to do so, so he didn't complain when you put a spicy French fry with cream cheese in his mouth.

"Mmmhh, it's delicious, you always surprise me" he said, showing you a smile with his mouth closed while he chewed your strange combination.

"¡I knew you'd like it!" You said enthusiastically, taking another chip with cheese and bringing it to him mouth, he was busy painting another simple but beautiful canvas to sell his hands were full of paint stains so he was grateful that you were there to feed him with your peculiar snacks.

He admitted it, there were times when your food mixes didn't taste that good but he was too kind and cute to let you know, he'd rather stay in the bathroom for an hour with a stomach ache than hurt your feelings and never try these snacks again.

He opened his mouth waiting for another of your delicious snacks and you gladly did so, he enjoyed trying each new dish you invented so almost every day you appeared with a new mixture, he tried it and gave you his opinion which was mostly positive, anyway even if he didn't like it he wouldn't tell you unless really is an abomination to the culinary system, in which case he would be the kindest and gentlest with his words.

Dae-ho

¿Were your culinary tastes strange? Him are worse.

He needs to have something in his mouth every time he is stressed or nervous, he bites his nails, the collar of his shirt or in these cases snacks that you carry with you in the pocket.

At first you felt confident when you saw that he also had an exotic palate, but when you saw him eating avocado with cold coffee you rethought all the decisions you had made when it came to satisfying your cravings and hunger.

"¿Are you seriously going to eat that?" You asked him entering the kitchen where he was already drinking his morning coffee.

"Yeah, it tastes good," he assured with a funny smile when he saw your expression. "You can't judge me, you eat scrambled eggs with gelatin."

You laughed softly because you knew he was right, you approached him and he offered you to try his exotic drink, what a surprise you were when you tried it and admitted that it exceeded your expectations "Weird but good" you said taking another sip of coffee.

Dae-ho drew a triumphant expression on his face and offered to make you your own coffee. It was nice to have someone to share your culinary concoctions with.

Hyun-ju

She was curious to see you eating your chocolate chip cookies and ¿ham? with so much joy. You felt her gaze and believing that she was judging you, you returned a look with a frown.

She quickly realized the confusion so spoke up to apologize "oh no no no, I wasn't looking bad at you just… ¿What are you eating?"

"I have no idea" You admitted downplaying it as she sat next to you without taking your eyes off your snack. "¿Do you want to try?"

Hyun-ju nodded and you handed she a cookie wrapped in ham, hesitant but with curiosity on the surface she brought this small snack to his mouth and tried it.

She really tried hard not to spit out the food, ¿how could you eat it? However, she knew what it was like to feel judged, so with a lot of effort, swallowing the bite in his mouth and smiling at you.

"¿Do you like?" You asked excitedly but she just shook her head with a tight smile on her lips.

"No" she continued to keep a smile so as not to make you feel bad and it worked, not everyone will share these culinary tastes with you but you appreciated that there were those who gave you a chance without judging you.

Jun-hee

She wouldn't tell you anything about your meals, ask you to share them, or comment on how repulsive can sometimes seem.

But when her are pregnant you will have to get used to her taking away your snacks prepared in the kitchen, while you were preparing some Oreo cookies with peanut butter on top you barely turned around to take your glass of yogurt and when you saw there was nothing on the table.

Now next to you was Jun-hee eating your dessert with a happy smile.

"I thought you didn't like it" You said with a hand on your hip looking at her accusingly for taking away your snack.

"It's not as bad as I thought," her admitted, shrugging his shoulders casually and reaching out to take the entire package of cookies and jar of peanut butter from you.

You saw her walking back to the living room with your lunch and you gave up, but internally you smiled evilly when saw that you were finally going to share your creative food ideas with someone, you should take advantage while she was pregnant.

Myung-gi

For him it was already customary to see you eat anything edible that you found on your way, from pickles with chocolate and ham to spicy stuffed cheese,

He didn't say anything to you except certain expressions of disgust when he saw you eating those combinations, you weren't stupid, you noticed each and every time he looked at you as if he were going to vomit and instead of getting angry he made you laugh.

Every time you had the chance you made fun of him and teased him by threatening to force him to eat one of your lunches like now.

"¡Get off me!" He demanded, placing both hands to prevent you from putting whatever you had in your hands in his mouth.

"¡Oh come on! ¡Just one bite!" you said between laughs and without stopping

You weren't actually going to force him to eat this, you just wanted to scare and annoy him a little for fun, the only way to stop was for him to accept and then there would be no need for him to really try it, you just wanted to prove to him that shouldn't always reject the invitation to new experiences.

You held a piece of sausage with strawberry jam centimeters from his face while he grimaced in pain and anguish as if he were being subjected to the worst punishment in the world.

"Dramatic" you said getting up from the bed where you were fighting with him as you put the food in your mouth but before could eat it he hit your hand causing the lunch to fly "¡Hey!"

"Don't eat that, let's go, I'll take you to eat something decent." Myung-gi took your hand and dragged you out of the apartment to buy you an ice cream or a regular sandwich, maybe you should bother him more often if that was going to be your reward.

Choi Su-bong // Thanos

He didn't judge you at all, quite the opposite, he was even willing to try some strange foods you made, of course, some of the times he had to be high to be able to pass it down his throat.

"Look, spaghetti with melted chocolate on top" He told you, showing you a photograph of said food that he had found on his cell phone.

You grimaced when you saw such a thing, maybe it tasted better than it looked but still just seeing such a photograph made your stomach clench.

"I like to mix flavors but this is extreme" You said letting out a sigh and walking towards the couch, Thanos seemed offended by your comment, he wanted to help you try new things, adapt to your palate, but you weren't cooperating at all.

"¿What? I thought this would be like a five-star meal for you" he said dramatically.

Some might say he was joking but you knew him well enough to know that wasn't the case, he truly believed that you would be able to eat even the strangest food but you had certain limits.

Still, you appreciated the attempts he made to keep a smile on your face and make you feel comfortable in his company.

And poor soul of the one who dares to look at you with disgust while you were eating next to him on the street.

[drenched-in-sunlight]

*SoTE spoilers undercut

This is a continued discussion in light of Marika's newly discovered tragedy. It changes so many things about how we look at the story thus far but more importantly - the DLC story trailer, especially this scene:

think about how Messmer knows, very acutely, that at one point his mother could have been cut up and put in a jar. and that his other kins were not so lucky....... it gives that scene such a tragic edge.

he wasn't doing this just for the violence. this is his answer to Marika's love and all she has done for him. yeah it's not right, it's not justified, but as something done to avenge for the kind of pain she went through? it won't be logical nor right but it's something he will do again without hesitation.

the infirmary in Shadow's Keep shows that he's trying to care for and save whatever left of her people. their people.

the line he said in his armor set description hits different when you consider all that. he wants to be the heir to all her sorrow and all of her pain. wishing that he could alleviate even just a bit of the burden of her grief and survivor guilt.

i wonder if, when Marika hid him in the Land of Shadow, fearing people will judge him for the malevolent snake he carried, she raised him in her home village? this will explain why the Tree Sentinels guarding the village drop two Blessing of Marika - the blessing that specifically stated Marika made it for Messmer's sake and him alone. it will also explain how he knew of his Mother's tragic past and took it upon himself to carry out her wish of vengeance for her people.

(also if you wanted to get to Marika's village, you have to perform the O Mother gesture before her statue in his Shadow Keep, implying he's guarding the way to her home village as well.)

One other thing I like is that in the story trailer, the heroic music sounds like it's for Miquella. and it is, in a way. it is his boss music, but the lyrics has "Ave Marika Aeterna" (Hail, Marika The Eternal).

Given that the boss arena is where Marika - the sole survivor of a whole village, walked through to salvage the remains of her people, making them the symbol of her divine ascension, I wonder if that OST is actually for her - the God, the woman whose story is finally realized in this DLC, and those female voices singing in honour of her are the spirits of her fallen kins: cheering on their last hope for justice. Through this girl, those people who had been wronged and died there will live on eternally.

All this of course seems like such a charitable take on all this, after all Marika ended up being just like the oppressors who used to put her people in jars, but I think I just want to appreciate how the environmental storytelling of this DLC is simply amazing. and once you consider that this is, in the end, Marika's story, everything will make a lot more sense.

[shoukokus]

hello!!! it's my first time requesting so is it alright if I can request the reader who was raised and trained to be a black widow from marvel

gn reader pls, idk if u have seen or watched marvel so if you want further details lmk!! but the one detail I want u to include (as angst ofc) is that black widows do ANYTHING for information since they are professional spies and assassins. (they are taken when they are like really young btw so like black widows, they don't got a childhood).

I gotchu, and I wrote this with an already established relationship with them in mind!

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle is shocked, to say the least, if not a little saddened

It was like his own childhood turned up a thousand notches. At least his mother never made him kill someone

He knows that, in a new world, you have no reason to continue that life and wants more than anything to give you a new start

Frankly he doesn't want to know what you've had to do in the past, that was another life and world ago

You can truly bond with him based on wild childhood expectations and lack of a normal experience

He'll be there every step of the way to make you feel okay again, you don't need to be a Widow anymore

Leona Kingscholar

Immediately tells you never to talk about it again, but not for the reason you may think

He's royalty. How would that look if everyone figured out his significant other was an assassin?? You'd be put on trial, and your whole relationship would be undermined

He knows you aren't here to hurt him, or get information, or even get money. He knows it because he knows you. The you that had been trying so hard to fit in Twisted Wonderland, be normal

Doesn't ever want you to have to use those skills again, but he's not going to discourage it, if that makes sense? It gives him some peace that you aren't helpless

Isn't going to judge you either, he knows how shady high society can be

If you ever have to be a Widow again, just make sure he's in on it, okay?

Azul Ashengrotto

Has frankly no idea what to do when he finds out

Is this marketable?? Can you make money like this? Wait no, he quickly feels bad about thinking that, but he doesn't know what else to think of it

Just sits you down and asks you to explain everything, and listens very quietly

You tell him that you had to do things in your previous world, things you aren't proud of, that haunt you

After telling him about your childhood, or lack thereof, he brings you into a suffocatingly tight hug

You don't have to worry about any of that anymore, he's going to take care of you from now on

Kalim Al-Asim

Similar to Leona, Kalim says that it needs to be kept secret

Look, he's a ray of sunshine and generally unconcerned, but he's had his fair share of assassins. He knows what they do and what they're about

No, he isn't worried about your past, but some people around him might be

But you're the one he wants around the most!

Kalim isn't really going to understand anything you tell him, just the big picture, so if you're looking for some comfort about specific things like not having a childhood, you'll have to tell him. You just need love!

You have his support for a lifetime, and anything you need will be yours as you find new footing

Vil Schoenheit

Vil is very rarely left shocked, but here he is

What on EARTH do you mean you were a trained assassin?

After the initial bomb drop, he sits you down to talk like Azul, and allows you to just say everything you wanted to say

It's certainly... jarring to learn about it, but he's strangely calm. I mean, if you had wanted to kill him or take something from him, you would have done it by now right?

He does very briefly wonder if you were after something, but as he looks into your eyes, full of unshed tears and shear hurt... those thoughts stop

You wanted to begin anew, but could no longer keep the past from your lover, and he could work with that

Idia Shroud

Idia kind of wonders if you're like a cool movie character, then realizes you're being serious. This ACTUALLY happened to you

Honestly though? After hearing everything, the full truth, he doesn't feel any differently about you

His family has been doing the underworld's dirty work for some time. HE'S done things he wants to take back

Idia's only real concern is if you still feel the same way about him, that it wasn't just an act...

When you assure him that nothing you've done in Twisted Wonderland has been as a Widow, the relief is visible on his face

You share a tight, warm hug as you both agree to move forward together in peace and honesty

Malleus Draconia

At first, I don't think he'd think much of it. I mean, his country had gone through wars and espionage

It was like that for you, he guesses

Then he starts to see how it affects you. Your mannerisms, your habits, and your fears. It cuts him deeply

You must have had a terribly lonely life like he did, right? Not knowing warmth until you met other people, kind people

He just wants to hold you and never let go after those thoughts crossed his mind. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do anymore, and he isn't concerned about you doing that to him

As his significant other, anything like that will be taken care of for you, not by you

[paperbackpanic]

Hiii, if you’re still open to requests, may I suggest either Tim/masky or EJ (or anyone you prefer really) with a super femme S/O who’s just really crass. Like they love all things cute and pink but they’ll take every opportunity to say the most outrageous thing they can think of

EJ and Masky with a hyper fem s/o who says outrageous stuff

A/n: hii!! Omg I loved this request specially because I'm kinda like that? I mean my mouth sometimes runs faster than my mind and I end up saying outrageous things but it is not, like, on purpose most of the time and I really like dressing super fem! I also really love writing for EJ and Masky :D. Sorry for the long rant I'm kinda lonely and need to run my "mouth" out a bit, anyway I hope you enjoy!!

A bit of a content warning for NSFW and generally gross topics but nothing too explicit.

Eyeless Jack

🎀 honestly you too contrast so much is kinda comical. EJ is the dark serious silent type and you are a cute and pink agent of chaos who honestly can talk a lot, specially considering you take every opportunity to say absurds.

🎀 Is pretty hard to surprise/get him off guard but when he first meet you he was pretty surprised, he thought you would be the shy "feminine energy" super polite girl you being really crass caught him a lil bit off guard

🎀 He isn't bothered by the things you say, he honestly find the fact that you're crass quite interesting

🎀 Yap sessions Yap sessions!! You'll let all of your wildest thoughts run out of your mouth and EJ will sit and listen. He won't judge but sometimes a thing you said will generate a long philosophical discussion about why you think that and he usually says something like "you do/say that just because you like to go against the norm or is it something deeper?" to start it off

🎀 You asked him once if his semen could be dyed with food dye BEFORE it came out of his body. It technically can? But like only because you can "tint" the urethra a bit with the dye but it involves a catheter and he's not going to put one in his dick because you want to see how much food dye would take to make his cum neon green. No matter how much you tried to convince him he won't budge ☹️☹️

🎀 You know that scene in some random old movie that I don't know the name with Marilyn Monroe that goes something like that:

"I know more than 200 ways to kill a man"

"You could glue a jar filled with rats to someone's face and then light a torch on the bottom so it would start to heat up and the rats would try to run away by chewing the person face off ☺️"

"201"

That's you two.

🎀 The only time when he will ask you to shut up and be polite is when you need it for your safety. I mean not everyone likes crassness and the most violent creepypastas would kill you without a second thought if you irritate them too much so he'll make sure you know beforehand when it's dangerous for you to be your true self

🎀 As I said in previous headcanons Jack doesn't really see stuff so he doesn't have a solid opinion on your style of clothing, he likes the texture of it though. Ruffles are great to run his hands through

🎀 Over time he just kinda stopped listening your crassness like, not in the literal sense but sometimes people around him point out and he's just "oh I didn't notice" he just filtered out that what you were saying was crass and just registered "my s/o is talking"

🎀 Overall a pretty good relationship, you two balance each other very well

Masky

🎀 He doesn't really like people who are crass or being crass himself. He's too old for that, but he will put up with you out of love.

🎀 Overtime he grew used to how you are, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't look at you like you're insane when you say something particularly out of pocket. Like creeps usually do stuff that's not really polite or demure but they don't typically say stuff out loud (or at least they shouldn't)

🎀 Your cute style is really a pro in his list on why he put up with your bullshit. It might not look like it but he has a soft spot for cute things

🎀 yapping with him might be a little difficult, he will listen to you of course he's not a bad boyfriend but he will shut you down pretty quickly if you're trying to convince him of doing some weird experiment or saying something particularly absurd.

🎀 He will use stuffed animals, cute clothes, nice dinner dates etc. to bribe you to be at least less crass when the situation call for it. You will shut up and be polite and not crass if he just asks nicely but you can't help but exploit him a little on this aspect and I can't blame you

🎀 if you ask him, he will gladly give you some lessons on good manners. He likes you however you are but this is something he thinks you can work on...

🎀 shuts you up with kisses. I will not elaborate

🎀 He has a secret ranking of most outrageous stuff you said to him/near him is only 5 itens long but he likes looking at it from time to time when he's missing you.

🎀 Assuming the Creeps exist in the same universe as us and not in a separate one: you told him about Twink Masky. He did not like it. It was funny

🎀 Despite everything he loves your personality, even if your crassness can be considered a "flaw"

[hornyfor-redacted-onmain]

Finale

Pieces of My Heart - Chapter 20 Stray Kids OT8 x reader, Soulmate AU

Masterlist |

You spent the first few hours since the news dropped watching Chan pace around the apartment while on the phone, accepting the soft comfort from whoever decided to sit next to you on the couch. There seemed to be an alternating group between both you and Felix, with the boys doing their best to reassure the both of you. Some of them would be silently scrolling through their phones, others had started to fall asleep.

---

Understandably, the company went in full PR mode that night.

It was around 2 in the morning when Chan let those of you still awake know that there was a meeting scheduled for early the next morning. He urged you to get some rest, but realistically, you knew neither one of you would be sleeping that much.

You accepted his offer to stay the night, using the opportunity to talk about a game plan.

“They’re going to want to throw Felix under the bus,” you whispered.

“It’s their only choice,” he confirmed. “If anything goes wrong, they can pull him out. Put him on hiatus, kick him out of the group, whatever doesn’t risk the entire group.”

His voice was full of bitterness and anger, and you wondered if he was thinking the last time a member was forced on the sidelines because of the public’s backlash. Chan pulled you closer, resting his cheek against the crown of your head. You breathed him in, letting his warmth seep close.

“They’re going to be mad.”

“The company?” He huffed. “Of course they will. They see you as a liability.”

“They won’t let us be around each other anymore.”

“I’d like to see them try and stop us.”

“I mean in public,” you clarified, closing your eyes. “Hell, even in the company building. I thought it would be safe, but-“

“I know.” He tightened his grip. “I know, sweetheart. We’ll figure it out.”

“I don’t want to hide anymore,” You admitted. “I’m so tired of looking over my shoulder, being afraid to get close. I want … I want to love you. All of you. Not just within these walls.”

Chan didn’t say anything, but you didn’t think he had to. Even if you couldn’t fall asleep, being in his arms brought you comfort. It allowed you to relax enough that when his alarm went off, you didn’t feel like a complete mess.

The ride to the company building was silent, everybody too tired and too anxious to break the fragile silence. It made the sudden explosion of noise and yelling from the crowds around the street all the more jarring.

You watched with a tight chest as the car passed by the media and fans alike, spotting signs and cameras and eyes- so many eyes, all staring at the car. Even as it turned the corner, you could still feel the eyes on you, like a paranoia you couldn’t shake.

The car pulled up through the back entrance, security ushering the group in. You could still feel the eyes, and your skin itched. It was only because you were wearing too many layers that you didn’t start scratching, but it made it worse, somehow.

You wanted to cry.

Chan urged you forward with a hand to your back. “It’s okay. Keep walking.”

The hallways and elevators were empty, but the door to every meeting room you passed was closed. You wanted to grab Chan, wanted the comfort only your soulmate could provide, but the security and staff were still ushering everyone towards the end of the hall, and you could feel their stares lingering on you.

Judging. Disapproving.

You stumbled, and Jisung looked back in worry. As the others entered the only room still open, Chan held you back. A staff member tried to get him to keep going, but the look Chan shot her was downright terrifying in its intensity. Even the security guard took a step backwards.

It was almost comical the switch his face made when he looked at you.

“Are you okay?”

It was a stupid question, one he had to know the answer to. But he didn’t make any moves to continue, no moves to move on. He held your eyes, hands strong against your arms from where they held you close, and waited until you shook your head.

“Whatever you want,” he reminded you. “Whatever you need. I’m on your side. We all are.”

“I know.”

“No matter what.”

“Bang-sshi-“

“Gimme a minute,” he told the staff member.

“We don’t have a minute,” she urged.

You reached up to take his hand in yours, placing a kiss to the back of it, to the surprise and shock of the others in the hallway. You almost wanted to flip them off.

“No matter what,” you repeated, giving him a slow nod.

His lips jerked up for a split second, and with a soft squeeze of your hands, he let you go.

Walking into the room with Chan at your back made you feel safe, and Jeongin didn’t hesitate to grab your hand the second you sat down next to him. There wasn’t even a moment of introductions or pleasantries before the room barreled straight into business.

“Has the culprit been caught yet?”

“We identified the individual earlier this morning. The staff member attempted to sell the information to Dispatch earlier this week, and when they were unsuccessful, they released the photos to social media.”

“Why were we not informed of this leak beforehand?”

“While we were made aware of the potential leak in the company, we had no information as to their identity until they released the information.” Your eyes shot up from where they had been staring at a scratch in the table at the familiar voice.

It was the staff member who had caught you with Changbin in the studio.

“Have the autho-“

“You knew?” You interrupted.

As if they had choreographed it, every head in the room turned to look at you in unison. You almost lost your resolve at the sudden attention, the panicked looks from Jisung and Felix urging you to stop talking, but you felt a surge of adrenaline cut through any inhibitions you might have had.

For the first time in the past 12 hours, you weren’t scared, anxious, worried, or paranoid.

You were angry.

Doyeon lifted her chin slightly to look down at you from the top of her nose. “Excuse me?’

“You knew there was a leak,” you repeated, ignoring the rapid squeezing from Jeongin. “How long have you known?”

“I don’t think this is relevant,” an older man at the other end of the table spoke up.

“I agree,” Doyeon said, turning away from you.

“Did you know when you warned me to be careful?” You practically spat the word out. “When you lectured me about being seen?”

“And look where we are now. If you had listened to me, and kept your provocative actions behind closed doors, we wouldn’t be having this issue.”

“That was two weeks ago!” You exclaimed. “You didn’t think it would be important to tell us there was a creepy staff member trying to sell company information? To warn us!?”

“I did warn you!”

“You tried to shame us! That’s not a warning, that’s an excuse!”

“As much as I agree this is definitely an issue that should have been brought in the moment it’s done and over with. We should focus on what is to be done and not linger on the past.” The old man at the end of the table watched the two of you intently, effectively silencing the two of you. “Right. Have the authorities been contacted?”

“We intend to pursue legal action, both against the leak and anyone spreading misinformation on the situation.”

“Misinformation? I was under the impression the photos were clear cut on the situation,” A woman sitting next to Doyeon cast you a look.

You lowered your gaze, biting your tongue.

“There have been rumors unproven and multiple accounts of defamation from news sites. We intend to take any action necessary to discourage that type of behavior,” Another man continued. “As far as we are aware, any and all information should not be held at face value unless released by the company. Write that down.” He gestured to what you assumed was his assistant.

“While we are on a topic of statements released by the company, we should discuss exactly what is going to be released.” Said the older man from before.

“We confirm the relationship between both guilty parties,” Doyeon spoke up, pulling out some notes. “Confirming a soulmate connection has the best outcome in terms of backlash.”

“What of the other soul connections?”

“It’s better to only reveal this one for now. If necessary, Lee Felix-sshi may be placed on hiatus for the next comeback, however as there is still time before then, it will need to be determined at a later date.”

From across the table, Felix’s face dropped in quiet acceptance. You were second away from continuing your argument with the manager, but Chan beat you to the punch.

“Will all due respect, Doyeon-noona, I don’t think this is the best course of action.”

Doyeon gave him a raised eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

“The fans and haters alike will see us holding this relationship from them as a betrayal. How do you think they would feel if they find out we’re still holding secrets from them?”

“Well then, I suggest you do as I asked you to before, and keep your relationship hidden as best as you can. Then we won’t have any more of these problems.”

Chan’s eyes darted to you.

“For how long? We’ve been a group for 7 years now. Idols far less established than us have been open about their relationships in the past, especially with a soulmate-“

“But none of them shared their soulmate with others, have they? Let alone your own members-“

“Oh, let them be!” The old man let out a sigh, looking between the two parties with … amusement? “They’re young, and in love. It would be impractical to assume that there won’t be another mishap again. Being honest in the face of this entire debacle may just be the best course of action.”

“Daepyo-nim! You can’t be serious,” Doyeon tried to insist.

“7 years, he said. I think that’s long enough for them to be making their own decisions, don’t you think?”

There didn’t seem to be much agreement, but whoever that older man was, he must hold a lot more power than you thought, because she immediately backed down. You turned to Jeongin, and while another staff member began talking about damage control, whispered as quietly as you could.

“Who’s the old guy?”

Jeongin shot you a bewildered look.

From your other side, Seungmin filled you in. “Guy in charge.”

“Like, the CEO?”

“Not of the company. But he definitely holds more power than everyone in this room combined,” he told you, giving you a look.

You leaned back into your seat, now feeling ashamed that you had essentially cut the guy off to yell at another staff member. How you hadn’t been kicked out of the room yet was a mystery to you.

“We should release an official statement soon stating the company will be taking legal actions for the breach of security, but it might be better to hold off on any confirmations of relationships just yet,” One woman suggested.

The rest of the meeting wrapped up pretty quickly after that. Or maybe you just weren’t paying much attention, and the time flew as you were stuck in your thoughts. The only thing you were sure of was that the statement revealing your situation would need to be released by tomorrow at the latest, and there would be another meeting the next morning to discuss further action. You met Chan’s eyes from across the table.

He looked as tired as you felt.

Jeongin had not let go of your hand from the moment the meeting began, so you were hesitant to let it go even as both of you got out of your seats. That was how you found yourself walking back to the elevators, skin still itching at the lingering stares, with Jeongin at your side. Seungmin walked in front of the two of you, glancing back occasionally, and you didn’t even need to look to know who was on your other side, the warm hand against the small of your back guiding you forward.

Getting all the boys onto one elevator would have been uncomfortable, so Chan reluctantly stepped off to the side, urging Felix and Hyunjin into the elevator with you, the two youngest, and a member of security.

Felix immediately found his way to your side as the doors closed. “Hey.”

You leaned against him. “Hey. You okay?”

It was a stupid question, but Felix forced a smile on his face anyways.

“I’ll be okay.”

Jeongin didn’t protest when you let him go to wrap both arms around the Australian, shoving your face into his neck to let out a shaky exhale.

“This sucks,” you whispered, and the elevator began to slow down as it reached the basement.

“It’s not your fault,” Felix muttered, shoulders tense under your touch.

You pulled back with a frown, reaching up to swipe away a few stray pieces of hair from his soft sad eyes. You pursed your lips. “It’s not your fault either.”

“It’s that fucking staff members fault,” Seungmin piped up.

You gasped, and Hyunjin burst into laughter. Even Felix looked shocked at the swear coming out of their puppy’s mouth, although none of you really should have been.

It wasn’t the first time he had sworn, but the combination of it being in English and in front of a member of staff was jarring. To his credit, the security personnel didn’t even turn his head, instead waiting until the elevator doors opened to step off to the side.

You nudged Seungmin as you passed. “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Felix laughed along with you this time, and you felt like a weight was being lifted off your back. Things weren’t great at the moment, and you were dreading the conversation you knew was to come, but it was moments like these that reminded you, you weren’t in it alone.

-0-0-

The drive back to the dorms was as quiet as it was an hour ago, although you could see the cogs turning in everyone’s head.  When Chan quietly told them they would have a family meeting, nobody protested. Minho, in true mother-like fashion, began cooking breakfast the moment you all arrived, even when Chan tried to protest.

“We’re not having this conversation on an empty stomach,” Minho said.

“Yeah! Binnie can’t focus when he’s hungry!” Hyunjin added.

Jisung giggled. “Because he’s too busy focusing on his stomach. And –“

“-he can’t multitask!”

You weren’t sure how many people finished his sentence with him, all of them bursting into laughter even as Chan rolled his eyes fondly. Changbin, more than happy to play along, began to complain about how hungry he was. Just like with Seungmin in the elevator, the fun playful teasing and joking eased the tension in the room, even if it didn’t manage to completely lift your mood. Felix seemed like he was still feeling a bit down in the dumps.

Breakfast was filled with an awkward nervous energy despite some of their attempts to get a conversation going. Deep down, everyone knew you had to have the tough conversation, and when it seemed like nobody was going to be the first to speak up, you finally had enough of waiting.

“I think we should be honest about being soulmates,” You finally stated, staring down at your half-eaten plate.

Your heart was beating hard in your chest, nervous at their response. Chan was the first to reply, his agreement easing a bit of your worries.

“If we don’t say anything now, there will never be a time when we can come clean without it being seen as a betrayal to the fans. They deserve to know.”

Minho’s cheek jumped as his jaw clenched. “They don’t deserve anything. If we decide to reveal out soulmate connection, it should be for us and not them.”

“I agree with Minho-hyung,” Seungmin said, and Hyunjin and Jisung both gave each other shit eating grins. “Yeah, I know. It’s a miracle.”

Chan licked his lips. “Right. Okay, is anyone here against the idea of revealing our soulmate status?”

Everyone looked around the room at each other, but nobody seemed to have any issues. Nodding to himself, Chan then brought up the real elephant in the room.

“Okay. What about our relationship?”

“Absolutely not.”

You tried not to take Seungmin’s words to heart, but you couldn’t help the way your chest ached at his words, ducking your head so that you wouldn’t have to try and keep your face from falling. There was a brief uptick in noise as the boys began to talk over each other, Felix slipping down in his seat next to you with his arms crossed. You reached over to grab his hand, both of you giving each other a small look of understanding.

“Hey. HEY!” Chan raised his hands, and the others began to quiet down a bit, except for Changbin.

“-and at the end of the day, it’s not your choice.”

“It’s a decision that’s going to affect everyone here. Why shouldn’t I get a say?” Seungmin argued.

“Then don’t reveal your relationship!” Changbin shot back. “I’m not going to hide just because society doesn’t like it. I’ve been going against what society has expected from me since we debuted, why would I shy away from it now?”

“Because it’s not just about you! You think for a second the company will let us?!”

“Why cares what the company thinks?!”

“Hey, guys. Calm down,” Chan finally stepped in, urging both boys to quiet down. Almost in unison, they both crossed their arms. “I get it, I really do. This isn’t a great situation.”

“It’s a horrible situation,” Jisung muttered. “It’s obvious that Felix isn’t a platonic soulmate at this point, which means that we can’t keep that a secret. But if we don’t reveal the rest of our relationships, at best, we have to keep hiding and sneaking around for the rest of our careers. At worst?”

“I get accused of cheating,” You said softly, biting your lip. “Or being a whore.”

Felix squeezed your hand.

“They’re going to accuse you of that no matter what we reveal,” Minho said, giving you a blank look.

“Minho,” Chan warned.

“What? It’s true. They’re going to throw them under the bus, drag their name through the mud, say the worst things – The truth it that nothing we say or do now will ever let them live in peace. Even if our fans don’t care, the Korean public definitely will.”

“Then what does it matter what we reveal?” Hyunjin wondered. “This entire situation is a mess already. Might as well get to be free.”

“We’ll never be free. Not while we’re idols,” Seungmin pointed out.

“Then fuck being idols,” Changbin argued.

Everyone went silent at that, giving Changbin looks that ranged from surprise to understanding. You couldn’t help but feel even more guilty at his statement. The thought that they would even have to consider giving up their dreams, the thing they’ve worked so hard for since they were kids, just because of a stupid mistake. Your eyes burned at the thought.

“You can’t be serious Bin.”

“Oh, I’m serious.”

“This is your dream,” You whispered. “I can’t ask you to give this up for me.”

“I’m not giving anything up,” Changbin argued. “My only dream has been to make music, and I don’t need to be an idol to do that. Not anymore. We have enough knowledge and recognition that we can make it on our own.”

“Bin-”

“And I don’t care if I never win a grammy or get brand deals or whatever else this lifestyle brings to the table. I’ve already lost enough to the standards of the industry, I’m not going to let it take away my happiness.”

You lifted your head at that, only to find that Changbin was staring at you intently already, conviction written across his face. “Your happiness?”

“You,” he said with no hesitation, and after looking around the room, he smiled. “You guys. My family. And making music, even if nobody ever listens to it again … what more do I need?”

And as everyone began to process his words, Seungmin let out a sigh.

“I get it Hyung, I really do. And I don’t disagree … I just …,” He grew silent, face twisting as he got lost in thought.

Everyone seemed to understand what he was trying to say, even if nobody knew how to put it into words. From beside you, Felix was still curled up into himself with a frown, and you squeezed his hand to get him to look at you. You wish you could go back, prevent this entire situation from happening, if only to wipe the look on his face. But deep down, a part of you couldn’t help but feel relieved.

At the end of the day, there was a comfort at knowing you wouldn’t have to hide anymore. Not with him.

You shifted, tucking your feet under yourself as you leaned to the side, shoulders now touching Felix’s and giving you the access you needed to rest your head on him. He was tense for a second, but allowed himself to relax enough to wrap an arm around you. He pressed a soft kiss to the crown of your head.

“So. What do we do?” Jisung wondered. “The company’s going to want an answer soon. And if we can’t decide, they’ll decide for us.”

Chan hung his head. “Whatever happens. Whatever we decide-“ He lifted his gaze, licking his lips. “As long as we’re together, it doesn’t matter. Right?”

He looked uncertain, like he wasn’t sure if he believed what he was saying. But you nodded your head, giving him a small smile.

“Together,” You said.

Felix sniffed. “Together.”

-0-0-

Hello. This is JYP Entertainment.

First and foremost, we would like to express our deepest gratitude for your unwavering love and support for Stray Kids. Your dedication has been the driving force behind the group’s success, and we are truly grateful for the trust and affection you have shown them.

Last week, we shared an update regarding one of the members of Stray Kids and their soulmate relationship. At the time, we believed this to be an isolated situation, and we sincerely appreciated the understanding and kindness many of you showed in response.

However, after further discussions with the members and careful consideration, we have come to learn that the situation is more complex than initially understood. It has been revealed that the individual previously identified as the soulmate of Lee Felix is, in fact, the soulmate of all eight members of Stray Kids. Additionally, the nature of their relationship has been confirmed to be romantic between all parties.

We understand that this news may come as a surprise, and we acknowledge that it challenges traditional norms and expectations, both within the K-pop industry and society at large. However, the members of Stray Kids have expressed their desire to be transparent and honest with their fans, as they believe that their bond with you is built on trust and authenticity.

We have chosen to respect the members’ wishes and their right to live truthfully, even as we navigate the complexities of this situation. We ask for your understanding and patience as we work to support Stray Kids during this time.

Stray Kids will continue to work hard to bring you music and performances that inspire and uplift, and we hope that their honesty will only strengthen the bond they share with their fans. We kindly ask for your respect and understanding as we move forward together.

Thank you for your continued love and support.

Sincerely,

JYP Entertainment

-0-0-

Taglist:

@kayleefriedchicken @dessianna1 @tryingtolivelifeblog @luvvvash @purplelady85 @jc003 @thicccurls @xxeiraxx @cluelessred3 @lemonn015 @soulpheonix1618 @heeee24 @backseat-serenade-dizzyhurricane @amenabiii @katsukis1wife @kokinu09 @yumuramma @omg-lexiloveyou @juju-227592 @pineapplekitty3-16

[eldritch-spouse]

Hear me out ok? In the middle of the night u just get rlly needy and horny but u dont have the guts to wake vesper up so u use his belly mouth instead to get off. Idk if im mistaken but i think u mentioned about vesper's belly mouth is awake even in the night?

[Yep, correct! Fem reader.]

TW: Somnophilia; Dubious consent then enthusiastic consent.

It's its own special type of Hell, living with Vesper.

Not because he treats you badly. Quite the contrary, as soon as you started making efforts to accept your new reality, he was the first one to volunteer any sort of help, hoping to make you feel as comfortable here as you did in your home, back on the surface. And, putting aside the volumes of mixed feelings you have regarding all this, it's... Sweet of him to at least care about your comfort.

That's not the problem.

The problem is your ceaseless libido.

Ever since you woke up in this ring, in his mansion, you've been burning up with arousal. You're always some degree of wet, sensitive, mind heading to the gutter far too frequently. You want everything and everyone, you want Vesper's touch on your body at every. Possible. Moment. You want him to slip his fingers and tongue anywhere he can and you want him to pick you up like a fucktoy whenever he pleases- Because it feels like nothing will ever sate you these days.

When you brought these concerns to the King, he was more than thrilled by the knowledge, though also a tad empathetic. It must be jarring, yes, he cooed, but you'll soon come to embrace your own desires. They're your true nature, after all.

It was... A strange conversation. To say the least.

Thankfully, Lust is the last place in the universe where you can be judged for excessive sexual cravings. It isn't the possible judgment of others that stops you from going all in, your own thoughts are what makes you hesitate.

Because, even if Vesper has made it very clear that you're to deliberately seek him out when you're bothered -No matter what he's up to- He can't possibly mean all the time, right?

It's common sense that you're not supposed to wake the Icon of Lust from a dead sleep just so you can have sex. How selfish of you! He's a King, he needs his rest.

But Gods... You're so fucking horny.

You can feel your heartbeat in your cunt. Maybe it's from sleeping in the same bed as him, where his loose fluff spreads sometimes, getting into the sheets, contaminating them. That must be the cause of your misery, in retrospect.

Well... You could get up. Look around, have a drink, return to bed after cooling off and enjoying the view from his lavish home. But you're comfortable.

And his smell... Oh, you inhale the pillow between you two faintly, it's addictive.

You don't want to get up. At all. Leaving this room sounds awful.

The tiniest bit of light creeps in through a gap in the massive curtains of your resting chambers, allowing some of the faint reddish glow of night to slink its way in, highlighting the form of your massive, recently proclaimed husband. Vesper sleeps soundlessly, a hand over his chest, the other, once holding you to his side, now dormant on the sheets, fingers periodically twitching. He sleeps bare, to absolutely no one's surprise. Legs faintly parted, offering a view you admire shamelessly in the dark. You've no doubt he has watched you like this before, so it's more than fair you get to ogle as well.

He's gorgeous. He's hot. So hot. You're married to the hottest thing that ever lived. Gods, he's such a whore.

Another flare of heat travels its way up from your loins. It would be exceptionally easy. All you'd have to do is palm at his exposed slit for a moment or two and he'd pop those treats out for you. All for you. He wouldn't even care, it's probably normal for Vesper-

With a shake of the head, you push said thoughts away as hard as possible. See? Not a moment of rest, all these gross ideas swimming around like they belong, like it's right. You're above something so rude!

But you're not above touching yourself in the same bed.

In your humble defense, you need this. You really need this, or you're going to scream and drag yourself on the ground like a bitch in heat. Panties are swiped aside with great haste, both hands quickly darting for the crux of your fire. It takes literally no effort for you to be able to slide two fingers into yourself, then three, trying to roll your clit in the best angle at the same time. It's clumsy, hurried, and unfortunately, fruitless. Instead of relieving you of this insurmountable heat, all it does is incense you further- Wishing it was more, better, bigger.

Wishing it was Vesper that's fucking your little body the way he pleases.

A whimper almost makes it past your clenched teeth.

Beside you, there's sudden movement. A large tail swatting back and forth -Wagging?- While Vesper's brows furrow and his breathing hastens rhythmically, like he's sniffing. When you halt, mortified, so does his stirring.

Idiot.

What a bright idea. As if the King of Lust wouldn't feel your desire right next to him.

Childish irritation settles in you as you sit on your own stewing arousal, sulking. Until a loud rumble jolts you, that is. After a pause of stunted blinking, you put two and two together.

While the demonlord may be fast asleep, a part of him is clearly active. Gaze falling to Vesper's abdomen, his sizeable second mouth can be seen parted, greedily flicking a fat tongue over sharp chops. It pants, a dopey sort of smile, muscle lolling as it very easily detects some poor horny sap nearby.

Or, maybe it recognizes you already. This certainly isn't your first meeting with Vesper's second mouth.

Amused, getting a couple of nasty ideas, you smile at the organ. " Hello there... " You whisper to it.

It doesn't react too much to the sound of your voice, although gleefully wets its lips and chuffs, waiting. You're sure it'll settle back down given enough time.

It's just a matter of ignoring it.

...

......

Fuck it.

Guilty eyes glance from Vesper's peacefully resting complexion to the shifting mouth beneath, and you gulp, self-control falling victim to rabid want. Again.

Slowly, silently, you wriggle out of your undergarments, keeping your breath in check as you move to straddle Vesper's abdomen. Given the size difference, and he seems to plump in a couple areas, you have a difficult time stretching your legs enough to encompass his waist.

Little does it matter, as you don't even get to sit before that muscle has already slapped itself onto your soaked cunt with a decidedly loud PLAP. Cosmic luck alone prevented you from moaning immediately. Vesper turns his face, then settles once more.

This might have been a bad idea.

The mouth is merciless on you, drool slathered on your tights, ass and belly as it gluttonously slurps at you, making lurid sounds you hope to whatever's out there won't wake the King. Terrible idea or not, it's well worth the trouble, because it's exactly the type of pressure you need to get off.

A sweet sigh makes it past your lips when shaky legs lower, having to brace your palms firmly on each side of the bed when the mouth starts smooching tenderly at your lips. How... Sweet. Cute.

Then, suddenly, it latches on. Literally. Its size allows the organ to wrap around your groin easily, applying an all-encompassing suction delicious enough to have you rolling your eyes and jerking your hips forward, nerve endings frying on a pan. God fuck yes, you didn't know it could do that!

An orgasm approaches fast, likely due to how long you've been waiting for it, building up tension. As sensation makes your lower body jerk and tense, shaky legs press you harder against that hungry maw, almost nicking yourself with bold teeth. It feels wonderful. Delightful.

Even asleep, only Vesper can make you feel this good. It's almost too funny a concept to be true.

Nothing halts the flow of keens and gasps you offer when it pauses its slurping to shove that roving muscle into your pussy, flirting with your entrance a little before feeding you more and more and more of itself, until you're groaning at the fullness. The first experimental undulation it makes is so strong that you legitimately moan out, loud and clear, dropping squarely onto Vesper and holding on for dear life as your jostled with each thrust.

You're sure you're drooling on his belly, though it hardly matters, eyelids fluttering, nonsensical pleas chanted in the dark.

" Oh fuck- Yes- Please please please, I need to come. Fffuck, I need to come... "

You're so close! It's right there, you can't wait to get licked and sucked as you ride it out, it'll be so-

" Mm, why didn't you say so? "

You don't even get to have a moment of shame when realization dawns. Large hands grab onto your hips and screw you onto the demonlord's tongue hard enough to make you see stars, the movement in your walls so frantic that you have no choice but to howl in bliss before a single excuse could flow past your parted lips.

And all you can do is flail and cry in overstimulation when Vesper continues sucking at all the arousal you can offer him.

" My Queen should want for nothing. "

His sickly magenta eyes leer at you from the darkness.

" You will come. "

It's a promise.

[salmon-bagel]

Tf2 mercenaries x Seductress! Class! Reader

Warning: nsfw content, female reader, sexism

Scout

When Scout heard that there's a woman who's a professional at seduction, he had already started plotting.

"Hello, name is Y/n L/n, but you can call me the Seductress. It's nice to meet you."

"Heya, nice to meet cha' mommy- Oh, i mean mommy i mean mommy i mean mommy i mean mommy-"

Constantly hits on you. Scout believes that you're the type of girl that's 'easy', someone who will let anyone bang them regardless of who they are.

That boy isn't going to leave you alone until you let him into your pants.

Even when he's not busy trying to get in between your legs, Scout is asking you for advice on how to woo the ladies. Considering you're a professional at flirting with people.

You go back and forth on giving him good advice and bad advice. Sometimes you feel bad that he can't get a girlfriend. Then again, you think to yourself that no woman should be within three feet of Scout because of how much of a horny asshole he is.

After some time, you did grow to have a soft spot for him. Since he's bullied a lot by the other mercenaries. He can be kinda cute when he's not being a complete jerk.

Soldier

Soldier treats you like the other mercenaries. Ruthlessly bleating in your ear when you're doing something wrong.

"GIVE ME ONE HUNDRED SQUATS NOW! I WANT THAT AMERICAN ASS NICE AND PERKY BY THE TIME YOU'RE DONE!"

He wants the best from you. Regardless of your gender, he'll push you to the limit until he's proud enough to call you a warrior.

Soldier tests that you're a good seductress by making you flirt with him. It's an ego boost on his part, but he's genuinely trying to make sure you're hot enough for the enemy.

"YOU CALL THAT FLIRTING!? I'VE HEARD BETTER FLIRTING FROM A MONKEY! AT LEAST THEY CAN PUCKER THEIR LIPS BETTER UNLIKE YOURS!"

Buys you clothing that he believes would work well when you're seducing the enemies. It's always american themed swimwear or lingerie. You began to believe he's just buying that for himself for you to try.

Whenever the team successfully wins for the day, Soldier immediately rushes towards and smacks your ass as hard as he can.

"NOW THAT IS AN ASS I'M PROUD TO CALL AMERICAN!"

Sniper

Sniper believes your work is very unprofessional. Considering he believes you have to whore yourself out to the enemy team. Instead of using your actual skills.

He says he has nothing against prostitution or sex work in general. Sniper just thinks that stuff you do should be kept behind doors and not on the battlefield. He says it causes too much of a distraction. However, you claim that 'distraction' is the point. Sniper doesn't seem to get it.

You honestly could care less what he thinks. Snipers throws jars of piss for a living, and he really thinks he has the right to judge other people?

The truth is you're good at seducing people. Too good. That it distracts him from doing his own job. Sniper has a tendency to watch you through the scope of his gun.

The way your body gets all hot and sweaty from the terrible heat, oh it does something to him. Sniper has imagined licking your sweat off your tits while you degrade him for being such a filthy fuck.

You are his go-to jerk off material. The women in his porno magazines don't get him off like they used. The only way he can relieve himself now is by imagining your fat ass bouncing on his cock.

When he noticed a pair of your panties in the laundry basket, Sniper couldn't help himself to inhale the sweet scent of your panties before putting them back.

Sniper knows he's a damn hypocrite.

He slut shames you for what you do, only to get off to you afterwards. The post nut clarity consumes him with guilt and shame.

Sniper still hasn't built up the courage to apologize to you.

Heavy

Heavy is one of the very few people who treat you like an actual human being. He was raised by a single mother alongside three sisters. Heavy knows to treat a woman right. Less he wishes to face their fury.

Heavy doesn't understand why you seduce the enemy. You're supposed to shoot at the enemy, not bat your eyelashes and wink! However, after watching your work on the battlefield, he gets to more of an understanding.

"Oh, I see. You lie to enemy and lure them in like fish? HA! Very clever!"

Absolutely loves gunning down the enemy that is distracted by you.

Is one of the few men who genuinely falls for you for your personality. Heavy knows you're drop-dead gorgeous, but he knows that beneath all that beauty is a truly intelligent woman. You earned your place on the team by impressing Mann Co., with your skills instead of batting your eyelashes and begging to be a part of the team. You make his heart swoon like no other woman has.

He likes to write you poetry. It helps convey how he feels for you because he's too bashful to put it into simple words.

Heavy is not afraid of anything. Nothing, not even death itself. However, it took him a lot of courage and constant rehearsal to ask you out on a date.

He hopes to start a genuine relationship with you. Heavy doesn't want a one-night stand or be friends-with-benefits with you. He wants you to be his girlfriend and maybe possibly his wife later down the line.

Engineer

"Well, I'll be! Aren't you the prettiest thing I've ever seen."

Engineer is taken aback by your good looks and sauve personality. He genuinely questions why you wanted to be a mercenary. A beautiful lady like yourself is too of high risk to get hurt!

Will always be there to help you if it gets too much for you to handle.

However, he can be very overprotective over you on the battlefield. Engineer thinks it would be safer for you to stay on the rancho relaxo than getting shot at by the enemy. As much as you'd like to not do anything on the job, Mann Co. isn't paying you to be lazy. They see everything and will tell you to get off your ass and start fighting.

You have to beg Engineer that you can do it on your own. He understands your point of view and begrudgingly lets you fight with the others. Even if it means going against his code of defending and protecting a lady when she needs it.

While putting up dispensers and sentries, he can't help to admire you from afar. Engie believes that a guy like him has no chance with a girl like you. What woman would be interested in a bald man who has a robotic hand and locks himself away in his work? No gal that's who.

Engie fantasizes about working up the courage to flirt with you and ask you out, which would eventually lead to a rather sensual night spent together. He did try to ask you out once but miserably failed. Engie kept stuttering and mispronouncing words out of nervousness while attempting to seduce you. You couldn't make out what he was trying to say. Thankfully, Demo had the heart to pull Engie out of that mess of a conversation and save him from further embarrassing himself.

So now, he just admires you from afar. Dreaming that one day he'll get to win your heart.

Spy

Surprisingly, he wants to get to know you as soon as possible. It's not every day you get to meet a lovely lady.

When he learns of your class type, oh boy, this man will make you question if you're even meant to be the Seductress.

"Mademoiselle, you are the most beautiful creature I've ever laid my eyes on."

"Do you know why they call Paris the city of love? Why don't I take you there and show you?"

"If the verb ‘to love’ didn’t exist, I would have invented it upon seeing you."

Spy leaves your entire face red and completely frozen after he's done talking to you. He's so flattering and charismatic. In comparison to the other men, he makes it seem like they're not trying at all. It isn't their fault, though, Spy is a natural at wooing the ladies.

You're surprised when Spy gifts you things that you really like. You never shared these intimate details with him before or with the other mercenaries. When you asked him how he knew what you specifically liked, Spy merely winks at you and grins. He has a way of receiving information without anyone knowing.

He has a tendency to kiss the back of your hand whenever you two are greeting each other. Spy is a gentleman and can't help himself to be sweet to a beautiful woman.

When Spy asks you out on a date, you agree to it because you have been meaning to go out. You felt like you'd go insane if you stayed in the base any longer. You put on your best dress and left with Spy into town.

After having a nice meal and a few glasses of wine, both of you give into temptation. Spy could hardly keep his hands off you when he drove you both back to the base. All your clothes came off the moment you reached his bedroom. You found it a little strange he refused to take off his mask. Oh, what the hell. He's hot and treated you to a nice date.

In the morning, you receive uncomfortable stares from the other mercenaries. Let's just say you and Spy weren't exactly quiet during your lovemaking. Unfortunately for the others, you decided Spy would become your fuck buddy.

Medic

He's been meaning to include a female subject in his experiments- I mean, he's glad to meet you!

You try your best to steer clear of him. However, on the front lines, it isn't so easy. When you're constantly getting shot at and stabbed by enemies, you'll need the Medic's help to get better.

When he sees you in action, Medic feels a new emotion that he's never felt before. Is this.. love? Maybe it is. Or maybe it's just lust.

Medic has never been infatuated with any woman. Except you. The way you lure in these pathetic men with your good looks and false promises, only to kill them afterwards- oh God, it makes him giddy. He feels like a schoolboy all over again!

Medic does routine check-ups on you. To make sure all your lady parts are in working order. In reality, this perverted fuck wants to have an excuse to grope you. Always gaslights you into believing he's not being a degenerate.

"Is this really necessary?"

"Why, of course! Breast cancer isn't something to take lightly!" He'd respond. You would understand, but after thirty minutes of him fondling your breasts, you knew what his true intentions were.

Medic writes you love letters and his dove, Archimedes, deliver them to you.

The letters start off relatively sweet. Medic writes that he views you as a Goddess, a truly ethereal being that is too perfect for this world filled with lesser mortals. And how he's the only man truly worthy for you.

Then, the letters take a complete turn the more you read it. He writes how he wishes to fulfill every filthy fantasy he's ever had with you. Oh boy, the list is long. For one, Medic wants to tie you down, gag you, and breed you like the filthy whore you are. Another consited of how he wants to fuck you on the battlefield while you're bleeding out and fingering your open wound as if it was your pussy.

You've stopped reading his letters and tend to light them on fire.

Demoman

"So, how much do you regularly charge for a quick shag?" He'd ask you before laughing his ass off.

Demo will never take you or your work seriously. Even if you politely ask him to.

He doesn't see what's so hard about showing off your tits and saying how much you love to suck cock. Demo believes you should've been a stripper if you wanted to tease men so desperately.

You frequently explain to him in detail how you help and provide for the team. You honestly can't tell if Demo deliberately forgets or because he gets drunk so often, he hardly pays attention to you while you talk.

Don't worry, though. After you've instilled the fear of women into him, he'll be gladly reminded that he shouldn't judge or ridicule a woman. If his mother were here, she'd knock some sense into him.

Demo apologizes to you, drinks, gets drunk, and apologies some more

"I'm sorry, lassie! It's just that I just get so lonely sometimes! What woman would give me, a one-eyed freak, a chance!"

He bawls on the floor, crying in front of you. You attempt to cheer him up by comforting him. Instead, you end up getting drunk with him.

Did you shag him in the heat of the moment? That's all up to you ;)

Pyro

Has no idea what you're doing to the enemy. Anything sexual you do is translated as innocent in their vision. Will never know what real seduction or sex.

Luckily, they think everything you do is nice and polite!

Regularly gives you grotesque gifts, which are usually human hearts and bones. You begrudgingly take the gifts because you know they mean well and don't wish to be disrespectful.

Pyro has a tendency to go through your closet when you leave your room. Or while you're sleeping. Either why, they steal your clothing and belongings. They pick out outfits and wigs they like along with makeup supplies. You wonder where you placed your dress and immediately begin searching for it. Maybe you left it in the laundry room. As soon as you exit your room, you see Pyro wearing your clothing over their suit. Fake eyelashes have been glued onto their eyes, and lipstick smeared all over the breathing hole.

You can't even be upset with Pyro. They're doing their best.

You let Pyro keep the dress they're wearing, considering it most likely wouldn't fit you anymore.

[byullielle]

Shy Shy Shy // Bang Chan x AFAB!Reader

"What is it that you really want then babe?" "A lot," you whisper softly, looking away from him, "And quite frankly I'm terrified,"

Tags: Smut, Oral Sex (f receiving), Use of Hitachi Wand, Fluff, Slight Name-Calling (by author and chan lmao im so sorry), Petnames (baby, baby girl, etc.), Praises, Shy!Reader, Beginner!Reader,

Disclaimer: title is from TWICE's Cheer Up but the song is FAR from the story. i will make a part 2, but for now enjoy this one. Minors DNI. NSFW Content.

You and Chan have had sex once. He was your first time, and to say that it was sweet and tender was an understatement—and as much as you were shy to admit it, it got you hooked. However, it has been nearly a month since then and nothing seems to transpire between the both of you which left you slightly restless.

Did he find you inadequate the last time? Do you need to practice more? Did he not like it? And one of the self talk that jarred you so much was Why am I constantly horny? Laughable really, you bought a Hitachi wand just to get off yet it wasn't quite the same. Somehow in some way you turned insatiable, only stopped by your shyness and the want to preserve your dignity in front of Chan despite the raging horniness internally embedded in your system.

And worse part is you chose to shut up about it, letting it be kept in like a dirty little secret.

So whenever you and Chan are cuddling for movie night you have to make a more conscious effort to not touch too much, or grind on his thigh, or prolong the kiss just so that you don't jump him and immediately regret it because you have zero clue on what to do. Like right now;

He has one hand on your back, another on your waist, both of you laid down on the couch while he runs his fingers across your clothed spine gently, not even putting pressure. It was relaxing until it suddenly just wasn't. The touch was extremely light yet somehow exhilarating to you, like the little virgin whore that you are. "Y/N-ah?" his voice snaps you out as you rigidly look up, realizing that his ministrations stopped and his hand is parked up at the couch instead, a small frown forming on your face, "I'm sorry, did you not like that?" he softly asks before you tilt your head in confusion.

"The what Channie?"

"You suddenly tensed up, I thought maybe you didn't like being touched on your back,"

Your cheeks redden up, heat flaring on your face as you shake your head shyly, "Not at all!" you defend, wanting to be swallowed whole by the couch, "I–I don't hate it," you stammer.

"Baby, you can tell me if something makes you uncomfortable," Chan frowns, sitting both you and him up instead of laying down, "And I might've pulled your attention from the movie, I'm sorry,"

"No! I swear I'm not lying," you shake your head vehemently, "I didn't hate it Channie. I just–" and before you start to ramble on you stop, tongue automatically lodged in your mouth you couldn't even make a sound even if you wanted to. Chan furrows his brows a bit, "Just what?"

'I'm just incredibly horny when you do that,' was the sentence in mind but where was your tact. You remained seated there like an idiot, unmoving and absolutely speechless.

"I just hope you aren't forced to go ahead with my own whims, Y/N," and oh no he was pulling out the first names. What happened to baby, babe? "If it isn't what you want I can always compromise and comply,"

"Channie," you frown and take his hand, "Like I said it's not that I don't want it,"

"What is it that you really want then babe?"

"A lot," you whisper softly, looking away from him and simply conceding because that face was enough ti tear your heart into two. 0/10, not recommended. "And quite frankly I'm terrified," you admit before your grip against his hand fall weak.

"Like what? I promise I won't judge. I'll give you the world baby, just say the word," he cajoles, cupping your face tenderly as you peer through your lashes, "Promise?"

"I promise, sweet girl. What is it?"

You bite your lower lip, feeling a new surge and boost of confidence before you cup his face and gently pull him towards you, entrapping him in a kiss. You had no idea how to deepen it, simply pushing your lips against his and tugging on his shirt shyly with two fingers until he gets the request. He licks on your bottom lip as you give him leeway to slip it in, trying to slowly move along his motions while trying not to fuck things up by being greedy.

He slots into you perfectly, guiding your tongue against his as you let out a cute little whimper, eyes tightening shut before you both pull away–you for a reprieve and him to check if you were alright, always the gentleman. "Y/N?"

"I have a confession to make," you keep your two fingers on the hem of his shirt, "I–Ever since last month," you squeak out as nervousness makes its way to his face, "It's... It's like I turned into an entirely new person? Like I'm always..." you struggle to properly pull the words out as he patiently waits, "I always need you, Channie. For gods sake I bought a sex toy because of you," you reveal while burying your face in your hands as your boyfriend's eyes widen.

"Really baby?" he asks, his hands finding your arms while he rubs them comfortingly, "Do you...want to do it again?" he asks as you nod, still buried in your hands. "Look at me baby," he coerces you out of your palms, urging you to look up at him, "Do you?"

"Please Channie," you whine, "Don't make me say it out loud,"

"Then how am I gonna know what my baby wants if I don't?" he chuckles lightly, "What do you want? I can help you play with the toy, show me how you do it. Or you can ride my thigh, pretty little baby rubbing her pussy against my leg. Or I can fuck your pretty little cunt, what do you say?"

"Either and all?" you let out in barely a whisper before he chuckles, eyes glazing over with affection and lust before he pulls you to his lap, effectively straddling him. "All it is then," he smiles at you, "Just tell me what you want. I'm all yours,"

Your heart tightens at that, absolutely in love with this man and somehow your core tightens along making you tentatively grind against his thigh, clothed cunt flush against his shorts. "C–Can you guide me?" you ask. He nods before thumbing the garters of your pyjama shorts, "Let's get this off first pretty girl," he instructs before pulling it off, lifting the hem of his shorts so that his bare thigh is pressed against your clothed pussy.

He grips onto your hips, guiding you along as you grind softly, friction building up as your wet and aching cunt rubs along his skin, a series of sweet and small whimpers getting knocked off you as he simply observes, staring at your face intently while your hands try to scramble for anything. "You can touch yourself baby girl, it'll help,"

And without hesitation this time you start rubbing on your clit, feeling the dampness in your underwear grow before looking down to see a tent in Chan's underwear. "Chris, I wanna grind on your cock please," you request as he lets out a 'Fuck,' before tugging his shorts off, leaving him with only his boxer as you shift your placement and start grinding on his boner, a breathless sigh knocked out of you while you lazily rub your clit. "Mnh, fuck baby, I never knew you were this slutty," he chuckles while watching you, "Pretty little baby has so much to show me. Don't you?"

"Only for you," you moan while grinding, the knot in your stomach tightening as you look down and see the feral glint in his eyes adding up. "Kiss?" you ask before he cups the back of your head and pulls you down while you continue your ministrations against his hard cock, now nestled between the gap formed by your soaking underwear.

The kiss turns more and more obscene, the smacking sounds absolutely fuel to the fire in your core, spit swapping between the two of you. Suddenly your clit gets tugged up against your underwear, a louder much more prominent moan knocked out of you which makes Chan's body tense up, "Fuck baby, I wanna eat you out," he begs, "I wanna hear more of that. Can I please?"

You nod before he grabs you by the back of your thighs, instinctively locking your own legs around his waist while he carries you to your bedroom.

Placing you down, he immediately crawls to your aching heat, wet and warm against the fabric of your panties. He tugs on them wordlessly, nearly ripping them off before he simply stares at it. "Where's the toy you bought my love?"

You crawl over the night stand, opening a drawer before pulling out the Hitachi wand and handing it to him shyly. "I–I love playing with my clit," you explain, "It feels good,"

"Alright, I got you," he nods before grabbing the backs of your knees and placing it on his broad shoulders while your stomach tenses up in anticipation. You still had your shirt and bra on but essentially bottomless already, feeling more of a pervert than if you were completely naked. And without warning, Chan licks up a stripe on your pussy, making you yelp out.

He kisses up on your folds before slotting his tongue through, the vibrations of the Hitachi suddenly come to life as he presses it against your clit while fucking into you with his tongue. A loud, obscene moan escapes you, tugging on his hair and your thighs tightening against his face which makes the vibrations more intense.

"Chan!" you yell out, name slipping from your raw bitten lips line a mantra, "Fuck! Fuck! Channie!" you cry out, slowly getting more and more overwhelmed before he stops the wand and detaches his face, making you whine.

Spit and slick cover his chin and nose as he laughs breathlessly, "Fuck, you're so delicious baby girl,"

"Daddy make me cum," you whimper and beg.

"We have all night baby," he soothingly rubs his hand over your thigh, before ducking back in between your lap, "Feeling alright?"

"The best," you choke out, "It feels so amazing Channie,"

"Good," he simply states before you could feel a finger prod into your hole while his tongue starts laving at your cunt again, slurping heard as it makes you roll your eyes back and arch up in pleasure. A litany of moans and whines escape you uncontrollably, Chan's name and profanities a steady stream.

As you approach your high, you can feel the tension in your stomach tightening, toes curling in pleasure while you fist the sheets. He grabs the wand again and presses it against your bud, tongue still spearing into you as the noises spilling out your throat get louder. You tug on his hair, biting your lip with a long drawn groan mixing with his' before you feel the knot unfurl, sensitivity at its peak while you spill into Chan's mouth, his tongue laving and lapping up at your juices.

Your thighs tremble by the sides of his head, a cry escaping you while he keeps on overstimulating you with the Hitachi, making you tug on his arm, "Good girl, take it for now sweet thing. My shy slut," he grins down at you.

Your legs continue to writhe about because of the spent nerves on your clit before he finally pulls away and you let out a deep breath out of relief, eyes clouded with lust and half lidded. You reach out to cup Chan's face, wiping off the slick on his chin with your thumb before licking it off.

"Thank you Daddy," you whisper before pulling his face closer, "Would you please fuck me now? Pretty please? Put your dick into me?"

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Stardew valley bachelors (and krobus and the wizard) witnessing the farmer chug multiple jars of mayonnaise. Just really slinging it back.

Okay ngl I never did this till right now and I got everybody's reactions so this is based on the responses my farmer got after doing this

Spoilers: they've all known my farmer for about 7 years so it's nothing too shocking to them,,,but it's still highly questionable lmao

.....

Shane

"Umm..."

For years, him and Pam were beer addicts...and now comes along you, the new farmer who's a very...different kind of addict.

An addict to mayonnaise, that is.

For years, people have been judging him for his habit, so it seems fair that he should be allowed to judge you 100% for having the weirdest fucking habit in the valley.

He started opening up to you (in his 2 heart event) and you're just sitting next to him, drinking mayonnaise to wash out the beer he offered you.

Only after you two get closer does he decide "well shit, they're weird..but they're also one of the few who care about me,,,"

And he eventually lets go of it altogether.

But he'll still tease you about your mayo addiction from time to time.

"What're you gonna put in the potluck this year? Gold star mayo? Or did you already eat it on the way here?"

"Oh shut up."

"Heh heh."

Sam

"Gross!"

Considering it's one of his hated gifts, this shouldn't come as a surprise to you.

But the way you've absolutely freaked him out by drinking it in front of him (and subsequently making him miss his kickflip) was hilarious.

"That's what you get for skating on other people's property." You shook your head, smirking as you bring out another jar. "You think Jodi needs some for later? Or should I just drink it in front of her, too?"

"NO! Stop. Please don't do that." Sam hisses. "One, she might uninvite you from future family dinners. And two, she'll think it's one of those weird trends and blame me for it!"

"A trend..hm? Doesn't sound like a bad idea. This town could use one more tradition." You laugh, consuming the jar and not missing the look of horror on his face.

"A-And I thought Abigail eating rocks was nuts...you two would be great friends.."

Harvey

"Umm..."

While he's well aware of the many health benefits to mayonnaise, he wonders if you know that they're best as a condiment....not a beverage you can just sling back.

"But you told me to lay off the Joja Colas, doctor," you pointed out to him. "You're telling me those are a healthier alternative to this?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all." He huffs. "It's just..erm..I've never met someone who enjoyed mayonnaise by itself..it sounds-"

"Disgusting?"

"N-No! I didn't mean it like-"

"I'm kidding, Harvey." You laugh a little, amused by his nervousness. "You know any side effects to drinking large quantities of mayo?"

"..none in particular, but that doesn't mean you should-"

"Then if I start feeling anything different, I'll let you know. Thank you." With a wink, you pull out some dinosaur mayo and drink it on your way out of the clinic...with poor Harvey wondering wtf that was.

Regular mayo was fine, but that green icky-looking mayo...had him gravely concerned over what you were doing to your body.

Elliot

"Why?!"

You thought you were being subtle, drinking a little bit of mayo while hanging out at his beachside cabin.

But nope.

You've absolutely horrified this man. Traumatized, even.

It's almost as bad as the time you left a super cucumber on his doorstep, and the next day he sent you a letter demanding to know who made you play this "cruel prank" on him.

In reality, you thought it'd be a nice gift and he'd make something poetic out of a rare sea creature you fished up.

Apparently not and that's when you quickly learned it's a hated one.

"Oh don't be so dramatic," you shake your head. "It's easier to carry than some full course meal."

"But you could have any other food....why that?" Elliot asks, now genuinely curious about what goes on in your mind to think mayo is a suitable choice in food.

You have no explanation though other than "it's most convenient for me and I like the taste".

So he leaves it alone but....maybe it's better not to drink it around him without warning (or drink it when he's buzzed and he may not remember you doing that).

Sebastian

"Umm..."

And here he was, on Ginger Island, hoping to get a brief vacation away from the valley and all its weirdness.

Yet you came along to visit and check on your beach farmhouse--bringing tons of mayo jars with you.

You got thirsty while talking to Seb in the hot sun, and instinctively began chugging the first thing you opened out of your bag.

You don't even realize what you've done until he gives you the strangest look ever.

"Have you always liked drinking mayo...like that?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Um..not since moving into the valley and learning how to make it." You shrugged, smiling sheepishly as you brought out another jar. This time a green color.

"What's that one?"

"Oh! Dinosaur mayo. It's a lot thicker and kinda tastes like a kale drink-"

"I'm sorry, there's dinosaurs in the mines?"

Alex

"Umm..."

"What?" You shoot him a defensive look, cradling the half-empty jar like it's your baby. "You've eaten every raw egg I give you, and I never judge."

"But..that's a little different, isn't it?" He chuckles nervously. "Eggs are great for protein! Drinking straight mayo is...erm....are there any benefits..?"

"It's easy to make with all the eggs in my coop, and um..it keeps my energy up so I don't pass out."

It's an awkward explanation, considering you simply drink mayonnaise for the hell of it and didn't think too much about the "health benefits".

But Alex completely agrees with you, not making any further comments on it in the future.

Although how he's eaten dozen of raw eggs without getting some kind of salmonella poisoning is beyond both him and you.

Perhaps you're both a little bit strange, but he eventually came to accept that about himself.

Wizard

"Umm..."

From the moment you met him and obtained forest magic, Rasmodius knew there was something peculiar about you.

From gleefully retrieving ectoplasm and prismatic jelly for his studies to assisting him in getting the dark talisman back from his ex-wife's home, he's come to trust you as a potential apprentice.

So to drink mayonnaise while looking through his catalogue of expensive magical architecture had him....a bit confused.

"What?" You look at the man standing by the bubbling green pot, his eyebrow raised in question. "C'mon, surely this can't be the strangest thing you've seen."

"No, whatever keeps your spirit and energy nourished is fine and all. But..mayonnaise seems most unconventional. That's all I'm saying. Now I must focus.."

And that's all he says about the matter, not really caring too much.

You're grateful he didn't overreact.

Krobus

"........"

"You're not gonna say anything?"

"About what?"

"About..y'know..me drinking mayonnaise?"

"Why would I? You gift me void mayonnaise. I eat it and use it as a moisturizer all the time!"

Finally, somebody who finds your habit relatively normal---but the only downside is that somebody isn't human.

Makes you often question if you're really human yourself.

It never bothers Krobus whenever you need to sling back a jar of mayonnaise and pull out another one when you return from the mutant bug lair or hike through Cindersap Forest to reach the sewers.

He thinks it's just a normal thing humans do, but when you mention how it's very much not normal in your "culture"..he thinks THEY are weird for not accepting your tastes.

Welp, at least he supports your weird yet harmless habit.

You did try void mayo once and nearly keeled over, so you stick to regular/duck/dino mayo from thereon.

[mmkclarkey]

We have a spare room- Part 3

When all goes wrong, moving in with three guys will solve it?

It had been three months since you moved in with three random men, all of which having their own weird affect on you. Chris had quickly become the person you went to when you wanted to talk about Taylor swift or Chappell Roan or anything of the sort, he loved the fact that you didn’t judge him for his feminine side. And you loved the fact that he allowed you to rant about anything to him, always giving the best rants back.

This however meant that you had to judge him for something else, now if there’s one thing you learnt about Chris, it’s that he’ll test his luck, he had the tendency to be a dick to his friends. Arthurtv told you about that one time in school when Chris told the girl Arthur liked that they were in a gay relationship, much to the girl’s dismay.

The way to combat this you may ask? Chris does something wrong, he has to put £1 in the jar, they stole the idea, some show called new girl apparently?

Besides Chris, Arthur was the best person to go to if you wanted something interesting, he had this amazing ability to be able to make you laugh at the most random times. Like the time last week where you were all arguing over the shared bathroom, having the biggest shower you tended to argue over who was going to use it when you go out. Arthur fully started to strip off naked, making you all leave as he shouted that he’d flash you all if you didn’t let him use the shower. In the end, you George and Chris sat on the floor outside the bathroom laughing for nearly an hour.

And then there’s George. George was the classic, blast music and go to parties and drink kind of guy. Somehow you found yourself roped into going to yet another influencer party at least once a week, however, you can’t exactly say that you didn’t like it. Aswell as this, he was absolutely amazing at giving advice, about anything, you had problems with filming? George knew what to do. you had no idea what to wear? he did. It was shocking how good the man was at just daily advice, it made you really appreciate the fact that you have him as a friend now.

~

You had uploaded a video three days ago where you were playing a horror game on Roblox, which you didn’t see an issue with and as usual got the views you were used to. But today? Today it peaked, around 9000 more people liked it in just the one day.

Then came the comments. and that’s where you realised your mistake. At one point you scream particularly loud and George (being the only other person in the flat at the time) shouts in from his room asking if everything was okay, to which you laugh and shout through that you are making a video and you’re okay. And this would be absolutely no issue if it wasn’t for the fact that your editor left it in, and your viewers, and just people people in general, did not know that you had moved out of your old flat let alone moved in with another man.

This caused a shocking amount of people to guess that you must have broken up with your boyfriend, and got with George almost straight away, and that’s why he’s in your house, concerned whether you’re okay. It didn’t take long for George to be knocking at your door, asking if you were decent so he could come in.

“I’m decent George, come in”

“So… I saw your comments” he says while sitting down on the bed, a bit of a red look on his face, clearly just back from being outside.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise my editor left it in, i’m making a tiktok literally in a minute to tell people that we aren’t together, it just means explaining why I’m here” you say back in an apologetic tone, aware of how overwhelming the fans can be sometimes.

“It’s fine, I promise, do you think we should get us all in the vid just to prove it a bit?” he asks with a curious tone.

You make the decision to do so, making everyone group together on the sofa as you set up your phone, pressing record.

“So… hey guys, i’m making a quick short video to address some things i guess? for reference, I made a video last week that was released three days ago, and in it, George here asked me if i was okay, which is lovely, but we are just friends.”

Arthur giggles and says “We’re all just friends, she just wanted to hide from you guys that she moved out of her old place”

Chris chimes in “Yeah, so if anyone, preferably three girls and a guy want to come wife up this flat feel free”

“Chris shut the fuck up” All three of you say in response, yet all laughing too.

“So yeah, I moved in with Chris, George and Arthur and I guess that’s where I am now, hope this clears things up and I love you all”

You post the video and the comments come in immediately:

this quad is literally iconic

we all know why she moved in with three guys

chris is so Schmidt coded argue with the wall

i’m so glad to see you living your best life baby omg!!

they are such iconic friends we need more videos together

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N i am so incredibly sorry, i’ve been completely procrastinating this, i hope we like it!! also can we notice the fourth wall break xx

taglist: @loveheart-123 @ooostarwarsfandom501st @rougetv @le-le-lea @onlinesuzie @44-ilton @chilwellsancho @pretendyoucantseeme @theresglittleronthefloor @raekensluver @viagracex @neivivenaj @authortelevision

[brightdown00]

If You Want An ACTUAL 'Feminist Icon' Man With Depth, Then Ares Is Your Best Candidate (NOT Hades!)

He has been SEVERELY misrepresented. Wonder Woman, Percy Jackson, DC Comics ... why didn't God of War use Ares instead of Kratos who is just one of Zeus' lieutenants?

(Don't get too excited just yet, it's still a pretty low bar.)

1) Ares is quite literally the ONLY Greek God (sitting on the Twelve Olympians) who doesn't need to be put on an sex offender registry. (I won't speak for his Roman counterpart, Mars, however ...) The worst he ever did, was seduce Phylonome, an hunting companion of Artemis, in the guise of an shepherd. That's hardly comparable to Zeus seducing Callisto in the guise of Artemis, or Alkmene in the guise of her husband Amphitryon, or Poseidon seducing Tyro in the guise of the river-God Enicepus.

That's right, the 'sacker of cities' isn't a rapist himself. (If you don't like irony, then Greek mythology isn't for you.)

2) Not only is Ares the only one who isn't a rapist, but he has actually stood up for sexual assault survivors more than once (even if they're his mother or daughter!) Ares was famously tried (and acquitted!) for homicide by a jury of the Twelve Olympians, after he slew Poseidon's son for raping his daughter. In one version of the myth, he was found guilty and forced to serve among mortals (which was the same sentence Zeus gave Poseidon and Apollo for conspiring against him). The implication is that all the Goddesses voted to acquit, all the Gods voted to convict, and what with Poseidon as prosecutor, Zeus as judge, and Ares as defendant, there were more goddesses on the jury than gods. Even if Zeus cast his vote to convict, it would have come to a tie and the rule was that the defendant is to be acquitted if there is a tie. (This is what occurred in The Oresteia, the setting of which was also the Areopagus.) When two giant sons stormed Olympus with the intention of taking Hera and Artemis, Ares was trapped by them in a jar, and the implication was because he was defending his mother and he was only a child at the time. He was also present at the punishment of Ixion who attempted to violate Hera, alongside Athena and Hermes.

3) Ares is the father of the Amazons (you hear that, DC Comics?) The founder of the Amazons, Otrera (who, btw, is the mythological founder of the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus), is either his daughter with the wood-nymph Harmonia, or his consort (if she is the daughter of Eurus, God of the North Winds) by whom he fathered Melanippe, Antiope, Hippolyta, and Penthesilea. Their nation's capital city is named Themiskyra in honour of Themis (Zeus' second wife and his aunt by whom he fathered three daughters), whom Ares is on surprisingly close terms with (see the Homeric Hymn to Ares), since he was also the patron god of the law enforcement.

4) One of Ares' epithets is 'feasted by women', in the ancient city of Tegea in Arcadia; during a war between the Tegeans and the Spartans, the women of Tegea defended the city from an invasion led by the Spartan king Charilaus.

5) Women abused by their husbands, as I've read online (but cannot verify), would have likely prayed to Ares for the strength to survive, which makes sense since he is the God of Courage (who else would they have prayed to?), which may have (sadly) further contributed to his unpopularity in Ancient Greece. Likely women also prayed that their abusive husbands would die violently on the battlefield in the next war ... He is, after all, the 'slayer of men'. It's not any different from how mothers would pray to Demeter to bring their daughters back alive, or unmarried girls would pray to Artemis to escape an unwanted marriage ... There's no 'protector of women in Greek mythology' because the Hellenistic religion worked through power bargains with the Gods and their respective domains ...

6) Aphrodite was forced into a marriage with Hephaestus in exchange for Hera's release (Hephaestus initially sued for the hand of Athena which ... didn't work out; see Erichthonius for more detail), Aphrodite expected that she would marry Ares. (They may or may not have been sleeping together before since Dionysus is the one who got Hephaestus drunk enough to do it ... Dionysus is the son of Semele, daughter of Harmonia, Ares and Aphrodite's daughter ... or maybe it's just the wonky timeline in Greek mythology ... ) Love and War. Their children are Eros (the literal Cupid himself) and Anteros (Unrequited Love), Phobos (Fear), Deimos (Panic), and Harmonia (Harmony). They have an open marriage (they are often acknowledged as each other's consort in mythology), despite Ares killing Adonis as a boar (although one version has Artemis killing Adonis as revenge for Hippolytus) and Aphrodite cursing Eos with insatiable lust. Spartans gave Aphrodite the epithet of 'Areia' (similar to how Zeus has the epithet of 'Heraion'). Note how Ares and Aphrodite are the only official couple, whether they're depicted as married or otherwise, on the Twelve Olympians (following her divorce from Hephaestus) besides Zeus and Hera themselves, which brings me to my next point ...

7) Even though Ares was not worshipped by many Ancient Greeks (just as they didn't feel comfortable even mentioning Hades by name), he was always depicted as an handsome soldier, which was the peak of male attractiveness at the time. Legally, he would have been considered as the 'legitimate' heir to the throne of Olympus as the only 'true' son of Zeus and Hera (since Hephaestus was conceived via parthenogenesis), given how the Ancient Greeks projected their own sociocultural norms onto their Gods. He is also one of the most handsome of Zeus' sons (along with Apollo, Hermes, and Dionysus). Bizarrely, he could almost be considered as Ancient Greece's cultural equivalent of Prince Charming in a roundabout way.

8) Ares is the son of Hera (the Goddess of Marriage, Family, and Childbirth, Patron of Women and Queen of Olympus) and the husband of Aphrodite (Goddess of Love and Beauty; Lust and Sexuality; Desire and Pleasure). He is also the rival to his half-sister Athena (Goddess of Wisdom and Reason; Strategy and Warfare; Arts and Crafts) for his father's affections, and shares jurisdiction with his half-sister Artemis over the Amazons. He's also on good terms with his grand-aunt, Themis, and I would assume his aunt Hestia. Zeus and Hera's other children are all daughters (Enyo, Eileithyia, Hebe, Angelos, Arge, Eleuthera), and a part of Zeus is concerned that Ares would overthrow him (more on that in another day, for another post). It's not hard to see why Ares drinks the Respect Women Juice unlike his father, uncles, or brothers.

9) People often use Ares persecuting a pregnant Leto at Hera's orders against him, disregarding that Hera is not only his mother but the Queen of Olympus. Even then, he never did anything more than deny her entrance to cities. The entirety of Ancient Greece itself was under orders to deny Leto sanctuary, and so are you really going to fault Ares for it? ZEUS didn't even hold it against Ares, even though he's his least favourite and Leto is his favourite woman ...

9) Ancient Greek mythology is largely passed through Athens, and they associated Ares with foreigners such as the Thracians (Thrace is said to be the God's birthplace) whom they regarded as stupid, uncivilized barbarians (see 6). His respecting women is likely meant to be seen as a negative trait, and highly correlated with how Ares was seen in general (see 3).

Note: I am NOT calling Ares an 'feminist icon' man, I'm just saying that he is the best possible candidate in Greek mythology.

[rhilumi]

autistic!Tim, freshly 18 years old, trying to do the whole public persona, big speech thing after getting officially inducted as CEO for wayne enterprises.

Full disclosure this is just Tim having a meltdown.

Everything feels like it's been dialled up to 110%, sweat is dripping through the impermeable barrier that the ten layers of deodorant were meant to be, the tuxedo is scratching and biting at Tim's skin and he is just barely keeping this in control. It's all locked up in a jar that must absolutely in no circumstances bother him. He's been through worse as Robin, as Red Robin, he's trained to ignore distractions. But, all the same, the chandelier is piercing it's way into his eyes, single handedly banging at his head.

With a deep breath, Tim attempts to recount the speech he had down pat the night before and finds he can't. The words fall short, decaying with each second that passes. Sweat drips down the back of his neck, doing nothing to cool down the hot lightheadedness.

Trembling, Tim begins to make his way to the bathrooms, desperate to at least wipe off some sweat. Heat rests on his shoulder as he reaches for the door, looking up he's met with the concerned eyes of an angel. Or, more accurately Bernard Dowd. The blonde puts an arm around him and says something that Tim hears but doesn't comprehend. Sure he said, "Are you okay?" but what does that mean? How does Tim respond to that?

Tears jerk out, only serving to add to the ringing swirl of light-heavy-hurt-ache. Prying open his eyes he hadn't even realised he'd screwed shut, revealed he was in the corner of an extravagant bathroom. Thankfully with ambient lighting that was just dark enough it didn't bore a hole directly through Tim's skull. The blonde - no his blonde boy is still talking, trying desperately to get through to Tim, the words ring and echo in his head but make no effort to stick.

Bernard shouldn't be here, he should be out enjoying the party, making good use of the champagne, judging the food. Not here, watching as Tim bawls over nothing.

"I'm sorry," Tim babbles, he was ruining everything, "'m sorry."

The pretty face in front of him departs after muttering something along the lines of there being nothing to be sorry about (A blatant lie, Tim was being pathetic - he isn't meant to act so childish, throwing a tantrum over nothing).

Coldness breaks through some of the mist, as a cool glass is placed against his lips. The temperature takes his mind into reality for him long enough to hear a command to drink. So, drink he does, starting with a sip. A singular sip awakens him, he feels as if he hasn't drunk in years, as if he's crawling over the desert like a lost traveller. Like an omen to the traveller, a voice registers in his head.

"C'mon, In, two, three, four, you're doing so well," following the instructions, Tim struggles to take a shaky breath in, "hold, two three four. Out, two, three, four. Doesn't that feel better." A shaky nod

"Let's go again," the process repeats until Tim notices where the guidance is coming from. Once more, the mist dissipates. And again, the shaking is reduced, he chokes out one last sob.

Watery blue locks with shining brown, with a trembling sigh, Tim rests his head on Bernard's chest, the blonde boy's arms following suit.

"We can stay here as long as you need, we can leave if you want," hastily, Tim shakes his head. He needs to do this.

"I love you. So much," is all Tim responds.

[aledethanlast]

I want to clarify something about my Lawyer!Andrew post:

Andrew is not doing this to impress people. In fact he actively doesn't want to impress people. He is done being a superman who holds everyone's lives in his hands. It's not good for his mental health when he's doing it and it's not good for anyone when that he fails, because the law is too big and some of these fuckers are just legitimately dumber and more guilty than his literal murderous mafia husband.

Anyways. Andrew wakes up in the morning, goes to his closet and shoves aside the 15k dollar Armani suits so he can put on the two piece he got at Macy's (then tailored to fit, cause he still has standards), and a matching tie.

He goes to the office. Brad asks him if he heard about the latest draft picks. Andrew stares him down until Brad goes to Andrew's desk and drops a quarter in the "Asking Andrew about Exy" jar. Andrew's coworkers seem to think that he's gonna buy the office a Foosball table with the jar money. They are wrong. It is for a new cat tower. Also, no Andrew hasn't seen it, but he got the rundown from Neil and Kevin, so he knows enough to tell Brad not to bother with a season pass for the Sealions this year.

He has two cases to deal with today. The first is a vehicular manslaughter charge. The client is pleading self defense, and that the victim was a stalker. Andrew likes her because, despite bursting into tears every time they have a trial prep session, she actually listens to instructions and knows when to shut the fuck up. He's confident.

The second is grand larceny. The guy is so super incredibly guilty but Brad gave him this case because he knows Andrew loves police misconduct cases and this one is just so full of protocol breaches that Andrew only had to show Neil the file for him to burst out laughing.

Janet says he has a call waiting. Janet is the highest paid paralegal in the county, because she also filters his celebrity mail. Technically Neil's pr firm still represents him, but Janet knows to turn down the DA's gala invitations without needing to argue with him.

He picks up the phone. It's the DA. The man invites him to the police gala because he knows Andrew ignored the emails. Andrew assumes the man was banking on Andrew giving a polite refusal he can wheedle or harangue into compliance. The man is new to the job, so Andrew will forgive this embarrassing miscalculation.

They spend the next hour discussing court dates for a certain case. Andrew's client for that one is disabled and only has partial aid, and he won't let them set court dates that they know she won't be able to attend. The DA, despite his embarrassing naivate, seems to be on the same page in this regard, so hopefully this will go well when they bring the matter to the judge.

In the span of this phone call, two of Brad's clients come into the office, and within five minutes of walking in are made to contribute to the jar. They don't get their questions answered, because he's on the phone, and they're not Brad.

He has court tomorrow. Court is annoying, because it's a room full of strangers who hear his name and forget why he's there, and he's not allowed to bring the jar. Court is a chore, because he has to walk people through their own idiocy, and then occasionally convince the room of just how stupid or brilliant it actually was.

Court is also, maybe, just a teensy bit fun, because whatever the stereotype of a lawyer is, Andrew really isn't it, and that makes people take him a lot less seriously until he starts quoting their words back to them faster than the stenographer.

(Janet also filters job offers. They tend to crop up every few months.)

(It used to be more fun, back in the early days when Neil would sit in sometimes, until he remembered just how horrifically boring the whole thing is. But that's fine. Andrew is happy having his own thing.)

But really, court is easy. It's a place where your word has weight, where promises are binding, and when everything is going to shit, nobody looks at Andrew like he's the freak for keeping his head.

[cottonlemonade]

Hi can I order a medium grape lemonade with a slice of grape for Bokuto! I rlly love your work and ice been reading a lot of it! Thank you so much!

Scream It From The Rooftops

word count: 1095 || avg. reading time: 5 mins.

pairing: Bokuto x chubby female manager!Reader

genre: comfort

warnings: mentions of anxiety and academic pressure

request: fluffy, crush Bokuto takes care of you

“This suuucks.“, Bokuto groaned next to you, ruffling his spiky hair in frustration, “How is a person supposed to remember all of this at once? I feel like my head is about to explode. I need like a second brain in a jar for extra storage. I could bring it with me to the exam and … use a plug or something to harness its knowledge. Yeah! Oh, y/n, I think I‘m really onto something here. Y/n? Hello? Earth to manager?“

You felt a finger poke your shoulder, but didn‘t respond. The words on the page before you had begun to blur and you noticed, with a start, the familiar stinging pressure building behind your eyes. Thick tears soon spilled onto your notes, smearing the ink. “Y/n-chan.“, Bokuto sounded worried when he poked you again, a little gentler this time, “Was the brain thing too gross?“

“I can‘t do it.“, you muttered.

“Do what?“

Your shoulders began to shake, sobs formed in your throat.

“Hey… hey, what‘s going on?“ The captain put an arm reassuringly around your shoulder. A couple of whispers made him look up. Students strewn about in the library had turned their attention to the blubbering, hiccup-ing mess next to him, some peeped out from between bookshelves.

It was rare for Bokuto to become angry. In fact, you had only ever seen it once and it was probably the scariest you had ever experienced the tall, usually bouncy sweetheart.

His golden eyes hardened, jaw clenched and in a firm true captain‘s voice he snapped, “Mind your own business!“

The students quickly went back to their notes or busied themselves with dusty volumes.

“Come on, y/n.“, he said, his voice sweet again and pulled you to your feet.

The tears left hot streaks across your chubby cheeks and you felt the mess your eyes, nose and mouth were making but you couldn‘t stop.

Holding your hand securely in his, he led you out of the library and towards the staircase, ignoring the pointing from people you passed. Bokuto dragged you up a flight, then a second, then a third until finally pushing open the door to the rooftop.

As soon as the heavy metal door fell into the lock behind you, he pulled you into his arms and you broke. You bawled. You hadn‘t done that since you were a child and right now it felt like it had been long overdue. Bokuto‘s strong arms just tightened, holding you close and safe. You brought your own arms up to finally hug him back. He leaned down a bit to engulf you further, making sure to cover as much of your shaking body with pressure as he could. He knew from experience that external pressure helped with an anxiety attack. At least he hoped it was the same for you as it was for him… Many times before you had dragged him out of a dark spiral. From thoughts of failure and disappointment and shame. You‘ve never judged him once, hadn‘t made fun of him when you found him hiding under a table for the first time. You simply offered a shoulder to lean on, an open ear and a hug. He was so relieved he could finally do the same for you.

He felt you trying to pull out of his arms and loosened his grip a bit.

You stared at his shoes, your sobs having calmed down but tears were still dripping on the concrete. Your breathing was shallow and ragged. Bokuto dug around in his pockets for a tissue but could only produce a napkin he had left over from lunch. Before your study session he had gotten himself a taiyaki in the cafeteria and some spilled red bean paste was stuck to the middle. Lips pursed in thought he refolded the napkin so he could offer the clean side to you.

“It‘s all I have right now…“

You accepted it gratefully and blew your nose.

He used the sleeve of his white school button down to carefully dab at your eyes and cheeks.

“Do you wanna talk about it?“

You shook your head. To be fair, it wasn‘t difficult at this point to put together what had upset you.

He pulled you in for a second round of hugs, this time gently running his large hand over your back.

“It‘s all gonna be just fine.“, he said quietly, “And I know, it‘s not much but even if you don't ace every single test, the team won‘t think less of you. We‘ll still love ya.“

You gave a hollow chuckle and he added pressure again to his hold.

“Thank you.“, you mumbled into his shirt.

“You are so very welcome, y/n-chan.“

You let go of him and took a somewhat deep shaky breath, feeling your tears ebb away.

“You know what always helps me? Besides you, that is.“

Still sniffling, you looked at him curiously.

He held up a finger for you to signal to pay attention, then stepped into the middle of the roof, took a deep breath and let out a long scream.

Your eyes widened in panic and you tried to shush him but he just shook his head and came over to get you to join him.

“Come on, give it a try. It‘s pretty awesome.“

“I don‘t know…“

“Come on, we can do it together. On the count of three.“

You couldn‘t believe you were doing this. But sure enough when he finished his countdown you filled your lungs as much as you could and yelled.

You felt the tension subsiding and with another deep breath, screamed again. Bokuto grinned and cheered you on.

“HEY, WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING UP THERE - STOP IT!“, you heard a teacher scolding from the courtyard below.

And you broke into hysterical giggles. It took a while to come down from the laughing fit.

“How do you feel?“, Bokuto asked, beaming.

“Better. So much better. Thank you so much.“

“Great! Come on, we have one last thing to do.“

And he grabbed your hand again to pull you along just as before.

You stopped in front of his locker. Once opened, he gave you a slightly smooshed packet of wet wipes you used to clean your face, then with his signature confident grin he reached for something between his books and held up a handful of little chocolates.

You frowned in confusion. “Why do you have these? You don‘t like mint-chocolate.“

“I know.“, he said and a light blush crept into his cheeks, “But you do.“

a/n: this got so out of hand. Thank you very much for your sweet words! I hope it’s a kind of comfort you were asking for 🌟 thank you for the request!

[hellishgayliath]

Clem’s Log

Hi big brother. Today’s March 10th I think? I’m not so great at remembering dates but Papa was dead set on it because that’s your birthday, it’s amazing how he’s able to remember stuff like that after all this time.

I know it’s been a while since we talked, ever since you left I had to take over bird scout duties and just never had the time to sit down and write. Everyone’s been on edge. Y’know I still hold onto that jar of cinnamon sticks you gave me. Started chewing on them out of habit whenever the anxiety and dread was getting to my head. They taste just like home..

…

Um..

Papa told me he saw you again.

When he and a couple of the others were out on patrol with Mr. Leo and big sis Luci I mean COUSIN SERGEANT Luci haha, I think she’d resent me calling her that but I know she secretly adores me.

…

They said.. they said when they saw you you were.. already turned.

You knucklehead I guess that’s why you left in the first place but to leave without saying anything to anybody?! You know Uncle Mikey would’ve helped you like he did with the others that were infected. Or did you already know that it would’ve been pointless? Don’t you at least owe your own little sister a goodbye?! Dummy dum dumdum..

…

…

Papa thought he could somehow magically get through to you, y’know make you remember who you were before life went crazy.

I heard from Mr. Leo that Luci tried to stop Papa from acting like a idiot and getting himself killed. But she ended up getting hurt instead.

Bad.

…

…

Next thing Papa knew, you and Luci were on the ground, with only one of you moving. Judging by Mr. Leo’s face when I saw him come in, he looked very torn and distraught about a very tough call he had to make. I can already guess what it was he had to do. Cousin Luci is in rough shape but insists on rejecting any medical help saying it’d just be a waste of time and resources. Doesn’t she know we’re just trying to help her? The dumdum… Don’t tell her I called her that. I just don’t want to lose her too.

…

Papa said he could’ve sworn he saw a little smile on your face when he cradled you. Maybe that’s you finally realizing you’re not being controlled by those monsters anymore and can now be at peace knowing you can’t hurt anybody else. At least that’s how I see it. It must have been terrifying to go through that alone.

…

It’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not FAIR IT’S NOT FAIR

They said they couldn’t even bring your body back because of safety reasons and that it would put the base at risk of being tracked so I couldn’t even get to see you one last time!

I miss my big brother, I miss your dumb goofy smile, I miss us having bug eating competitions and laughing at you nearly choking on a beetle, I miss falling asleep on each other while watching tv, I miss seeing you chase after the raccoons with a broomstick whenever they raided our trash cans, I miss the dogs, I miss the taste of fresh fruit, I miss our HOME! I just want this nightmare to be done with. I’m just so.. tired..

…

Papa told me they at least gave him the chance to make a grave for you and to say his goodbyes. I should’ve been there with him saying them together.

He just looks so defeated and sad. I insisted to him that we at least put together a funeral service for you so the rest of us can say our peace.

…

It was nice.

Uncle Mikey and Bao combined their powers to transform the room into a beautiful recreation of a lush meadow full of butterflies and yellow daffodils while Mr. Tello played some lovely music he still had saved recorded in his tech. It was so tranquil it almost makes you forget for a second you’re in an apocalyptic hell scape.

I think you would've loved it.

…

…

Talk to you again soon and happy birthday you numbskull. I love you.

I miss you..