#hes got more important things to attend to rn

[nururu]

my grandparents have never ever left their dog with anyone or left him alone at all and he's soooooo sad that they're gone. so I took him to the lake today to cheer him up and we splashed in the water (he cannot swim).. what I noticed about him tho is that everyone will stare at him but no one will ask to pet him. they'll just be like "cool dog" and nod their head at me like they respect us or something.... and I'm like... okay..... he's literally a gremlin......

[orcelito]

Bought a stupid suit thing. Disgustang.

[jaylaxies]

TEASER: A REUNION TO REMEMBER

PAIRING: sunghoon x fem!reader

GENRE/CW: smut, unprotected sex, fingering, cunnilingus, public sex, car sex, shower sex, degradation and praising, mentions of drinking, mentions of jay and karina (aespa), and other idols, mentions of nicknames (baby, kitten), more to be added.

WC: 12k words (estimated).

TEASER WC: 1167 words.

SYNOPSIS: You last met Park Sunghoon when you were attending high school, more precisely, when he had gained enough courage to ask you out, not knowing that the most popular girl of the school was already taken by the senior who was equally as popular. Four years later, your batch decided to hold a reunion back in your town, where you meet Sunghoon again. Only, the problem is that he's hotter than ever and you can't, for the life of you, keep your eyes off him.

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni (the full fic will include smut).

A/N: hihi, angels! revamping a hoon fic rn! taglist is open, send an ask or comment to be added! <33 (make sure to have your age visible on your blog! blank blogs will not be added to the tl).

“There’s absolutely no fucking way he didn’t know!”

You exclaimed, frustration clear on your face, recalling how things went down back in tenth grade to prove your point.

Karina only sighed on the other end of the call, “listen, babe, I love you but you have to take into account how oblivious the poor boy was back then! He studied and skated, that’s literally all he did, that was him,” she spoke, emphasizing on the but part.

You huffed, sitting down on the edge of your bed, nodding to yourself slowly as you let it sink that her point was actually a valid one for once.

“It’s still awkward though,” you mumbled, playing with a loose thread of your sweater.

“It’ll be fine, okay? It’s been four full years, and it’s not like you have to talk to him.” Her words were true yet again, and this is why you loved her.

Karina had been your best friend since you were in middle school, she’d always been honest and the social butterfly everyone loved, but at the same time, she was humble and kind, always taking care of the ones around her, not to mention how she was possibly the prettiest girl you’d ever met.

You were relieved to know that she would be with you for the school reunion—an event which was planned thoroughly, it was a big deal.

It wasn’t just a meet up, it was a three day trip back to your hometown, the whole itinerary was planned, as per the usual ritual:

The first day being the reunion dinner night—the most important one out of the three days, a day where everyone shows up clad in their best outfits, a day where they flaunt every bit of success and achievements they’ve accomplished.

The second being the beach day, to make sure no one is left out on the fun factor, also

The last being the night out at the newest club of your city, a night to let loose, especially when it concerns rekindling the old flames (happens more often than not).

The idea itself was thrilling, not to mention how desperately you needed this break, Karina was even quicker to express her excitement by booking two hotel rooms, non refundable at that, for you both as your parents now lived in Seoul, and not in your hometown.

Another sigh left your mouth as you plopped down on your bed, staring at the ceiling while wondering why you even bothered to check the guest list, to check whether Park Sunghoon was invited or not.

It was no surprise when you saw his name in the list, gulping as you recalled the embarrassing incident which took place between you both, the one in which you never got the opportunity to confront him, or explain yourself by any means.

You closed your eyes, revisiting the ever so embarrassing memory.

It was the last day of the tenth grade, your exams had just gotten over and the student crowd was elated, throwing notes everywhere to celebrate the fact that they were not chained to their textbooks anymore, not for a month at least; which caused you to scrunch your nose at the sight of paper wastage, not to mention, the meaningless litter all over.

“Uh—Hey,” a sweet voice called your name at the exact second, succeeding in grabbing your attention.

You recognized him as your classmate, Sunghoon, who was also a good friend of your own friend, Jay.

“Hey! Hoon, right?” You smiled at him, a slight red colour spread on his cheeks at the sight of you.

He nodded, also politely saying ‘hello’ to Karina, who was right next to you before his gaze fell to his fingers as he fiddled with them, his fang-like teeth biting down on his plush bottom lip with anxiety as he worked on mustering enough courage to look into your eyes, only to find your own ones staring at him with curiosity.

“I just—I wanted to ask if you’d like to, you know, go out with me sometime?” He let out the question, unsure of what words he had used and cringing at how shaky his tone was.

He had completely forgotten what he practiced in front of the mirror a thousand times, but he knows for sure that the result was not supposed to come out as horrendous as this one.

Your eyes widened as you looked at Karina with pleading eyes, asking for help. It was no secret that you were one of the popular girls at your school; sweet, hardworking, and humble.

Getting a confession such as this one was nothing new to you, declining politely always worked, however, that was when you were single and not in a relationship with the most popular guy in the school (as cliché as it was), who was also your senior. It was almost like a fanfiction with how the ace of the school, Lee Heeseung, had ended up falling for you.

The news was quick to spread, fast enough for your group chat to go crazy, asking you questions so diabolical which almost made you throw your phone away with embarrassment.

In the span of three days, the whole school was aware of the new ‘it couple’. Except for Sunghoon, that is.

“As, uh, friends?” You winced at how pathetic your question was, which certainly made things ten times more awkward than they were supposed to be.

“N—no, as something more?” Sunghoon helpfully explained, looking everywhere but at your face now.

“Sunghoon,” Karina spoke up, causing you to release your breath, thankful that she was here to control the situation when you could say nothing and feel uncomfortable looking at his disappointed face.

���She’s taken, love! Sorry,” she informed him, his eyes widening and mouth agape.

You wondered if he was genuinely clueless about this, he did look lost to you.

You gasped, suddenly feeling an arm wrap around your waist, pulling you closer as you stared at Heeseung in surprise, who was already looking down at you with a smirk.

“Hey, baby. I missed you,” he spoke up, kissing you right on the mouth, more exaggerated than usual.

Sunghoon witnessed the whole scene, a frown settling on his face, embarrassment clear on his face which was now red and showed clear signs of sadness as he softly said, “e—excuse me,” leaving as soon the words left his mouth, shoulders slumped.

You never met him again, only seeing him with Jay at times.

He was quick to change his school soon after it, knowing that he’d be able to do so easily since the finals were over.

You were going to meet him now.

Your eyes snapped open at the thought of that, you just wished for the trip to be a pleasant one. Furthermore, from your side, you’d make sure to not be awkward around him, pretending as if the whole situation didn’t happen in the first place.

If you’d even get to talk to him, that is.

permanent taglist:

@jaeminvore @ajayke-reads @lunalovesstories @hoondrop

@deobitifull @celeste-hoon @mari-oclock @kpophia @woniebae

@lalalalawon @blessedcursd @skzenhalove

@heesuncore @seuomo

@kyurizeu @tobiosbbyghorl @jezzebear

@jaehoonii @itsgivingitalian

@bunhoons @ma-riiii @addictedtohobi @heeliopheelia

@haanigurl @kaykay11sworld @glitterjay @skzooluvr

taglist open! send an ask or comment to be added!

© jaylaxies | tumblr

[bridgeybaby]

Some general fandom suggestions

I've been a quiet observer in this fandom for some time, and wanted to make some suggestions. You can take or leave them, it's not my job to police anyone (although there are certainly those who will tell you it's theirs-- it isn't, btw). We've reached a point in this fandom where Jakolas and the 2 Antukes in the world are in adversarial positions to Lukolas. The opposite of love isn't hate- it's indifference. If both of these ships were so confident that they've manifested and are sailing along smoothly, they'd simply ignore us rather than antagonize people who haven't been public facing in the fandom for some time or make wild claims about what Nic or Luke are doing in terms of Lukolas. They're out there doing these things because they do not feel confident in their respective ships since there are a lot of red flags and inconsistencies there. I'm not going to list them because there are so many Lukola bloggers doing an excellent job pointing them out and also because any time we put them out on main, our fave's teams are out there taking our suggestions and trying (and failing, hilariously) to make them look more real. I feel completely indifferent toward Jakolas and Antukes for the reasons listed above.

Now, I am going to address the Lukolas in the room. We have nothing to defend against with Jakolas and Antukes. None of these people, including JD, A, N or L owe us any real glances into their private lives, which I firmly believe we're not getting much of rn because they're on high alert. Historically, when people have quieted down in this fandom, N/L have dropped more hints, whether intentional or unintentional (I'm guessing more the latter than the former).

N has never been public facing in an authentic relationship. If you look back over her history, she mentioned one live-in bf during a podcast interview in 2019 or 2020, but we still don't know his identity. Laurie, who she was reported to be dating, had a long-term male partner he was with while they were linked. She seemingly wasn't with Eamon either, who was spotted kissing a woman that he is now with the month after she attended the RN premiere with him. Alot of these people are listed as her rumored significant others, still, when you go on websites and look at her dating history.

The current approach of some bloggers/ creators to put everything on main isn't going to make her feel more comfortable sharing authentically. I don't blame her. Things got very personal very quickly and seemingly things that were intended to be private were shared without a filter.

Part of the bigger issue we have rn in the fandom, is a general need to be right about everything. I have news for you: every last one of us, every last Jakola, every last Antuke could be wrong. We don't actually know N or L. And again, they don't owe us anything. But the bottom line is any person who says anything as fact is blatantly incorrect here.

Wikipedia changed their rule for updating stars' personal lives in reaction to the many falsehoods published by tabloids. As I mentioned earlier, N is consistently linked with people she never dated in the past. This would be an example of a falsehood. The difference is that she was much less famous at that point and hadn't gone on a 6 month world tour with over 40 hours of interviews with her professional bestie/make out partner. Therefore, tabloids are no longer considered a 'source.' The source would have to be a reputable magazine or a statement from the celebrity themselves. Everything else is simply rumor or conjecture.

But specifically, within the Lukolas, telling anyone what to think or believe is a fool's errand. I can't control what's going on in anyone's head any more than the next person. Similarly, what's said in group chats (IMHO) is not for public consumption. However, when we get to public comment, that's where it gets sticky.

It's important to remember that the parties involved (especially if it does come out at PR at some point), are actual human beings with families. Does it mean I believe they're actually dating these people? No. Do I have to believe that to be respectful? No. Does it mean I have to like them? No. Does it mean I have to respect them? Also no. Does it mean I have to ship them with N or L? Hell no. But does it mean that I should reserve unkind commentary and off color jokes for the gc/ my own twisted mind? Yes. Yes it does.

Alot of the public discussion right now is in absolutes and, "I'm right, you're wrong, get over it." The reality is, nobody, not even the bigger creators or bloggers, actually know N or L. Not even the ones who have met them multiple times. And at the end of the day, I just hope they know there are some people out there who legitimately enjoy their work, want the best for them both, and hope they feel comfortable sharing the truth at some point.

[runningfrom2am]

requiem // part four

summary: according to coriolanus snow, his best friend had the most beautiful voice in all of panem. she had been training her whole life constantly to get where she was; being up for a residency at the most elite opera house in all of panem. singing was her passion. her true love; and when that got stripped from her in a second, his world became a whole lot quieter. he loathed every minute of it.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 2.3k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: opera singer!mentor!reader (blink and you'll miss it), she's kind of a prodigy!! p cool imo, mute!reader, bestfriend!coryo, friends to lovers trope ooo, mentions of graphic violence early on (particularly the prologue) but after that it's pretty safe, depictions of ptsd/trauma, mental illness and minor suicidal ideation but at least she's not entirely alone, descriptions of minor medical treatments and use of medication.

a/n: fighting for my LIFE trying to sort out my student loans rn. also i'm sick. butttt i did just finally get my hands on hogwarts legacy so that's eating up all my time. anyway that's a small update on my life.

also, reminder to follow @runningfrom2am-library and turn on my notifications there to join my taglist for this series!!

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist // pinterest board

three months earlier

"You could write her a song." Clemensia suggests with a shrug, tapping her pen against the inkwell, hardly looking up from it.

Coryo scoffs, shaking his head. "Don't mock me, Clemmie. I'm serious."

"So am I!" She laughs, facing her palms up against the table and looking across at him now. "She likes music, it's like, the only thing she likes. It would make her happy, I'd bet. Is that not the whole point?"

In the face of something so juvenile as asking his best friend to go to their graduation gala together, Coryo is stumbling. You were his best friend, yes, he could just outright ask- especially considering nearly everyone had already just assumed that the two of you would be attending together, but something about that didn't sit right with him.

Other girls were getting special things. Flowers, jewelry, notes, and love letters that he had genuinely heard that, on a couple of occasions, brought tears to their eyes. Not that he wanted you to cry, but... He wanted you to feel that he cared. It was important to him that you knew he really cared.

"It is." He grumbles, rubbing his forehead.

"Okay, then-"

"I'm not writing her a song."

Clemensia sighs, rolling her eyes. "It doesn't have to be any good. Maybe it's even better if it's bad! She'd get a good laugh out of it too."

"Yes, and then I'd never live it down." He says, pushing his hair back out of his eyes and trying to put his focus on the assignment they were supposed to be working on. "Besides, I didn't ask for your advice. I don't need it."

"Yes, you do." She insists with a teasing smile, reaching over the table and poking him in the shoulder with her pen. "You wouldn't have told me otherwise. You were just too scared to ask directly."

Coryo lets out a deep breath through his nose, shaking his head in quiet denial, but she can easily make out the pink tinge on his cheeks.

"Coryo, you know she'll say yes no matter what, right?" She adds, her voice softer this time.

"That's not... that's not what I'm worried about. Necessarily, I mean."

"Ah." Clemensia hums in response, taking the end of her ink pen between her teeth. "More like... you just don't want her to get the impression that she was a last resort?"

"She's not." He defends quickly.

She raises her hands defensively, a short and quiet laugh falling from her lips in the library. "I know. I know that. I'm just clarifying that you don't want her to get that impression."

When he doesn't respond, pretending to pour all his focus into taking notes again, Clemensia lets out a dramatic sigh. "I don't know, just ask her. She knows you well enough that I really don't think it matters. Just... when's the next time you're hanging out?"

"Not sure." He mumbles, scribbling down some notes that he knows are hardly legible.

"Well, what about after class today? See if she wants to go get coffee or something."

"She's coaching until seven."

"Tomorrow?"

"Rehearsals."

Clemensia lets out a huff. "This weeken-"

"Orchestra practice." He cuts her off this time.

"Panem that girl is busy." She sighs. "How does she even have any friends at all?"

"We make time." He shrugs nonchalantly, as if it didn't bother him that he hardly ever saw his best friend this late in the academic year. That was common for you, though. Usually come summer and fall you had more free time to share with him. And he was happy to wait- it wasn't like he didn't get busy during exam seasons too.

"Okay, well, now is the time to 'make time'." She exclaims sternly, leaning closer across the table and lowering her voice to a whisper. "Because I heard rumours that Sejanus Plinth was intending on asking her, and you and I both know that she is far too kind to say no. Even if he is District."

Coriolanus' jaw tenses at that and he grips his pen just a little bit harder. "Have you done question fifteen yet?"

He had already been thinking about that for weeks, and he would torture himself for another week before he finally took Clemensia's advice and "made time".

You had seen him since that conversation he had had with Clemmie, but that didn't mean he could ever get himself to actually bring up graduation outside of asking you casually if anyone had asked you yet. To which, the answer was always an unbothered "no", and a shrug that allowed you to mask the sadness behind your smile.

He didn't exactly "make time", though. His plan was quite the opposite. Knowing you had morning practice, he got to the academy early and shoved the folded up paper in your locker and practically ran down the empty halls to the library. No taking it back now.

'A note? That's so stupid! She's your best friend! Just ask!' His thoughts race at him, but that's exactly why he did it this way. He couldn't back out again now.

"Coryo," Your familiar voice says as you slide into the seat next to him, hair perfectly styled and uniform ironed flat despite the early morning you must have had.

He looks over at you, eyes slightly wide out of nervousness. "Uh, hey... How's, um... How's your morning?" He asks, trying his best to play it casual.

You smile, sliding the folded up piece of paper you had found in your locker back over to him. "Good." You answer, already going about taking out your books. "Yours?"

"Good." He nods, mouth dry as he stares down at the paper, looking between the sheet and you.

Silently, you nod for him to open it, a small smile on your lips.

He hesitates before opening it, the conscious effort it takes to not tremble taking over his nerves.

He curses himself for his own fears about what it would say, blinking a couple times before reading the note.

'Want to go to the grad gala with me? -Coriolanus'

And then in small, flawless handwriting, a swift and smooth print that lacked any hesitation, there was a new line underneath.

'Yes :)'

"I only tried on fifty different dresses to decide on the fit and style of what I wanted." You say with a slight laugh, unzipping the garment bag that held your dress.

Coryo was sitting on your bed, like he often did, hands fidgeting in his lap. Fifty dresses to him seemed unnecessary, certainly you looked just fine in the very first one all the way through to the very last. But he did understand how seriously your family took your dresses, for both your performances and events like the one you would be attending together.

"That's... that's a fair few dresses." He laughs with a small nod, gazing into your closet and away from you for just a moment, trying to get a glimpse at your performance gowns you had stashed in bags and lining the wall. It's a wonder you had room for everything, he knew you had never tossed or re-worn a single one- all large in either sheer poofiness and volume, or bright colours and patterns that drew the eye and held them hostage in your form. Sometimes both. Coryo was never sure if it was the intent to make you look like a princess from a fairytale, but a few times a year he got to see you look just like one. What he imagined them all to be, anyway, when recalling the storybooks his mother read to him and left on the untouched shelves in his should-have-been baby sister's nursery.

"Yes, well, I wanted it to be perfect." You hum, pulling the dress out of the bag and turning to him, holding it up against your chest. "Thoughts?"

Coryo nods in response, swallowing hard. The dress was stunning, and the colour was rich- it would compliment the tones of your skin and hair beautifully. He had very little technical knowledge of fashion, but what had trickled into his mind from Tigris would lead him to believe it would be complimentary to you.

But he had no idea how he would match that.

The last of his father's salvageable dress clothes was that shirt Tigris is working on for the reaping ceremony in a couple of months, and he couldn't possibly wear that twice. If she could even salvage it. Maybe he should ask her to prioritize making it into something that would better match your dress, or just wear it plain white with the black stripes to the gala instead, so he would at least feel worthy of standing at your side. Then he could wear his academy uniform on reaping day, and claim he forgot the occasion. Would that be believable?

No, of course not. That's the day the Plinth Prize will be awarded.

Hopefully to him. Definitely to him, he had to pray. He was never a religious man- no one really was anymore, but reading about it in pre-Panem history textbooks, he couldn't deny the temptation to beg some higher power for help.

The prize would solve everything.

"You like it?" You ask, drawing him from his internal panic and he nods, smiling.

"Yeah, yes. Wow. It's lovely." He nods, clearing his throat.

"Thank you." You grin, looking down at the dress and smoothing it against your leg a bit to try and get another good look at it yourself.

You let out a soft sigh of contentment before hanging it back up. "Anyway, do you want to do like a matching thing, or is that tacky?" You ask, turning to face him again.

Coryo purses his lips in thought, drumming his fingers on his lap. "I'm not sure. Are other people matching?"

You knew about his situation, of course, though he wasn't fond of talking about it. Obviously not, who would be? It never bothered you, at the end of the day he was still your best friend- even if he never let you come over to the renowned Snow penthouse unless it was some kind of emergency. Regardless, as far as the two of you knew, you were the only one outside of his family who had any idea. And you both intended to do everything you could to keep it that way.

"I think so, I heard some of the other girls talking about it." You say with a shrug. "Just something simple like a matching tie or something, we don't have to go crazy with it."

"Right." He nods, thinking it over.

"Here," You say after a moment, reaching into the bottom of the garment bag and pulling out a much smaller plastic bag with fabric samples in it from when your dress was made. "I asked for more extra than they would normally give for fabric samples, in case we wanted to match. I was hoping we could ask Tigris to make a tie or a pocket square or something, or maybe cover your cuffs with it." You suggest, sitting on the bed next to him and holding out the bag.

His heart aches as he reaches out to take it from your soft hands. It's hard to place, almost- whether or not it's gratefulness or loathing of the fact you had considered such a thing at all. Attending an event with a Snow should not include the accommodation of whether or not they could afford to dress accordingly.

The bitterness fades and settles into thankfulness for you, and all you do for him. Silently. Without discussion, without real, significant thought.

You could be friends with anyone; the girls with wealth enough to bathe in like your own, Sejanus Plinth, even, whose family quite literally bought their way into the Capitol. But you chose him.

Granted, when you chose him, you didn't have the slightest clue of the financial state of his family name, but even when you had stumbled across that fact, it didn't deter you. Coriolanus often wonders why, but who was he to question it? Hell, sometimes he wonders if the roles had been reversed, would he have been so gracious?

"Thanks." Coryo mutters, clearing his throat and nodding. "I mean, she's the expert, so I'll talk to her about what she thinks will work best."

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea." You agree with a soft laugh that makes him smile by instinct alone. He couldn't help it.

"Um, I meant to ask," Coryo says after a moment, tucking his feet up on the bed and sitting back a bit, getting more comfortable. "Did your coach agree to let you change your song for the year end gala? The one you pitched to her, that was really good. You did amazing. At least, in my opinion but I don't really know what I'm talking about."

"Thank you." You reply through a sigh, laughing slightly as you flop back on the soft cushioned duvet next to him. "But, yes and no. Yes she's letting me do something other than 'Never Enough', but it's not that song I showed her while you were there. She said it was too long and would disrupt the entire schedule, which, in hindsight does make sense and I wouldn't want to do that to everyone else."

"Well, what is it?" Coryo replies, eager to hear something new from you. It was special, he knew that it was. He had seen first hand how badly you wanted to do something else.

You smile, looking up at him as he leaned back on his hands next to you, blue eyes searching yours as if they could somehow portray the answer sooner than your lips- despite you knowing it would be a song he's never heard or even heard of before.

"I decided on something else. It's gonna be a surprise." You answer with a small, almost sly smile while you prop yourself up on your elbow, gazing up at him with your chin in your palm. "But you're gonna love it, I think."

You really hoped he would, at least.

While Coryo protests, tries to squeeze the information out of you in the light-hearted way only a best friend could, you don't budge. The song in title and content reminds you far too much of him; of his pretty face, and electric soul.

no taglist this time around!! my fics usually get over a hundred requests to be added to the taglist so instead i made a library! follow me over on @runningfrom2am-library and turn on notifs to get updates when i post new parts!!

[queers-gambit]

Hello my lovely, it’s me your babygirl. Remember me? 🥰🥰

I know you’re busy working on fics rn so take as much time as you want to answer!

I’ve got a very important question regarding Felix that I’d love your opinion on it & share my thoughts with you! 

*quickly runs to give you the biggest hug & spin you in my arms* 😘

So…. What do we think a Felix x reader wedding would look like at Saltburn? A grand extravaganza with a million guests or an intimate ceremony with just the Cattons?

Obviously they take every opportunity to throw a party at Saltburn so a wedding is the ultimate bash in the eyes of the Cattons. 

Or would Felix just decide to change it entirely and just want it to be a tiny intimate thing since he wants this to feel quiet and special. And then maybe some big party another day to the delight of Elspeth and sir James.  

For Felix he’s so laid back and in love all he cares about is his girl and what will make her happy. They are so young and in love i wouldn’t be surprised if he proposed on a lazy Sunday morning or a day reading naked in the field, just because he was so blissfully happy he knew there was nobody he’d rather spend these kind of days with for the rest of his life. 

Side notes: Venetia would be maid of honor right? I see Elspeth as the mother in law that makes herself heavenly involved with planning and gives her brutally honest opinion picking out the dress 😅 I can even picture stoic Duncan trying to hold back tears while he’s holding a tissue box to Elspeth or sir James while they read their vows. 

…

Sorry for the endless ranging but I’m aching to know your thoughts and see if you’ve thought about this too!!

of course i remember you, baby girl! welcome back!

i needed a break from writing, so thank you for sending this, my darling! it's always good to refresh the pallet, and this ask really got me thinking!

let's get into it!

kinda-sorta wedding AU HC's

pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Saltburn

word count: 1.4k+

warnings: suspiciously none

so your question all depends on the Reader, but i'll try to answer best i can.

the Saltburn wedding is definitely a huge, extravagant ordeal. the Cattons are well connected, so, it wouldn't just be Felix and Reader's peers attending, but ALL family from both sides, as well as family friends, too. Reader's family is invited to Saltburn a week before matrimony; where they try to help, but the Cattons have hired 3 different wedding planners to make this the most talked-about event in any social circles.

every room in Saltburn is cleaned and decorated. an abundance of flowers are shipped in to be hung from the ceilings and bannisters. there's BOTH a live band and a DJ, an erected outdoor dance floor.

now, i can see two different things: 1. Felix and Reader marry in the local church and then the reception is hosted at Saltburn. 2. they marry on Saltburn's property and still have the big ass reception on the grounds.

either way, it's most def a summer wedding to utilize optimal weather. it's a reason to wear the best clothes, drink expensive liquor excessively, and indulge in gluttony. it's a night designed to make attendants jealous.

there's well over 300 people, Sir James and Elspeth combing through their address books to send invites even to family friends they haven't spoken to in years. they're the kind of parents that take advantage of their child getting married; it's the best excuse to show off and have a grand celebration, to prove the family doesn't do anything half-assed. if they can throw extravagant parties just for the hell of it, they definitely feel pressure to out-do themselves.

it's like this wedding isn't *for* Felix and Reader, but more so for the Cattons to show up and show out. it's not about a union of two people, but an excuse to gloat and smash their privilege in everyone's face.

Felix eats it up 'cause it's all he knows, the spoilt rich boy, but Reader's a little uncomfortable with the sheer size and details of her wedding. but in the same breath, she's relaxed because she KNOWS this is just how the Cattons operate and she doesn't really have to lift a single finger.

so, Reader lets Elspeth plan her ideal wedding - 'cause there's no way she's not involved. they make some decisions together, it's a bonding experience for Reader and her soon-to-be MIL, but for the most part, it's the matriarch doing most of the heavy lifting.

Felix and Reader only get to decide on wedding colors, catering options, and the cake. and even then, they have to endure his family's opinions.

Reader doesn't even get to 100% choose her dress, hair, and make up. Elspeth basically decides everything. i agree with you and think Mrs. Catton would impose herself even on the wedding dress selection, becoming persnickety, opinionated, and a little snarky when Reader shows off her dresses. this causes tension with Reader's family, who think the older woman far too self-important, and maybe it's Reader's mother or sister that stands up to her and insists Elspeth keep quiet since this *isn't* her wedding and they don't want any influences on Reader. they want Reader to choose her perfect wedding dress without scrutiny since she has no say in anything else.

in fact, maybe - juuuuuust maybe - Reader's family takes her to shop for a wedding dress without Elspeth in an effort to dial down the stress. it's not meant maliciously, but Elspeth simply cannot help herself and takes over everything; so, Reader's family figures if she's not there, Reader can make a decision *for herself*.

when Elspeth finds out, she's hurt, but it's Sir James that calms his wife down by reminding her that she had something not-so-nice to say about damn near every single dress Reader tries on. so, she accepts this one detail being out of her control.

the entire wedding screams "old money" because half of the decorations and details are wildly redundant, but there's no such thing as cost to the family. Elspeth is def living vicariously because she thinks she knows best, so she spares no expense - perhaps even going as far as to rent exotic peacocks to roam the grounds simply because the Cattons can!

they're definitely going "Crazy Rich Asians" in the sense that Felix's marriage is going to be the event of the decade, like Collin and Araminta's wedding. again, it's not even about the union but just a chance for the Cattons to remind everyone that they were lesser-than. Felix thinks it's normal, he thinks this is how it's supposed to be 'cause he's def removed from reality, and truth be told, he loves the attention. the bragging rights.

Felix might be a bit more reserved than his family, but he's still a Catton and glamour is *all* he knows, especially for an event like this. he doesn't stand up to his parents because they're paying for everything, which makes him feels as if he's not entitled to an opinion. so, he lets Sir James and Elspeth plan the wedding they want since all Felix has to do is show up. he'll do his best to alleviate stress, acting as a buffer between his betrothed and parents, but he doesn't dare open his mouth.

this is marketed as a once in a lifetime celebration, so nobody is willing to butt heads with Sir and Mrs. Catton.

on that note, yeah, i can see Felix having an intimate proposal. maybe in the field at sunset, maybe at a cafe in town, but not in bed. he's got a flare for the dramatic, so odds are, he's actually down on one knee. he's young, so he doesn't need to make a huge ordeal for the proposal since it's an incredibly intimate moment. he might even proposal on a whim / impulsively. he's had a ring for months, planning the best moment to ask Reader, but he gets anxious and one day, it just happens. it feels right. Felix has that burning feeling that he needs to ask now else he'll fuck up his plan in the future by being so nervous. so, yeah, he just asks one day - barely even thinks about it! he just knows Reader is who he wants, so why plan the "perfect moment" when an opportunity organically presents itself?

now, Venetia can be a bridesmaid, but she's not MOH. again, depends on the reader, but i imagine Reader's sister or her own best friend should be MOH. Reader wants Ven involved in everything, but no, she's not gonna be the one standing next to Reader when she gets married. Ven helps decide bridesmaid dresses, works with Reader's sister and / or best friend to plan the bachelorette party, and is present for any conflict between Reader and Elspeth. she's sorta like a tie breaker because Felix is on Reader's side and Sir James is on Elspeth's. Ven is the one who helps keep Elspeth under control, the only one bold enough to stand up to her mother without fear of repercussions. she sees how Reader is struggling to both have the wedding of her dreams and respect for her MIL, so, Ven imposes herself to give Reader a break. to be the voice Reader lost.

and just because it's fun, YES, Duncan is def in attendance, handing the Cattons and Reader's family tissues during the emotional moments of the wedding. he eats two slices of cake. and for the fuck of it, you bet your ass Duncan lets loose a little and Cabbage Patches on the dance floor.

i think it's nice to imagine Felix being all cute and intimate, but personally, i think he's so far deep in his family's way of living to truly be humble. sure, Reader anchors him to reality, but he still lives this extravagant life so he doesn't know the definition of "humble". but that's why i said, it depends on your reader - but in my opinion, Felix is a little too spoilt to have the forethought to marry privately. or maybe he knows it's a fight not worth having with his parents, that no matter what, they're going to do what they want.

so maybe Felix is the one encouraging Reader to just "go with the flow" because resisting is futile. perhaps Reader comes around to the idea of a grand wedding because she knows she'd never have this sort of experience with anyone else; so, why not bask in it?

ah, i love these. they're so much fun! thank you for sending in, baby girl! all my love 🖤

[ledetlore]

Explaining

Okay so this is very fair (all of the people not native to the UK I am so sorry) so let me explain!

So, first thing you need to know is that Brighton is the gayest city in the UK - it's a coastal city with more gay clubs and cafes than sense. I love going to visit, and it's the exact place Kremy would go - so much culture and vibes.

Hertfordshire is where I am from (doxxing myself I know) and we tend to say we're north of London because rightfully, the UK mocks Hertfordshire. But then, the UK mocks everywhere, so we aren't even special there. This is the most boring place on earth but we are in the green belt, meaning we have a lot of farmland and greenery around the towns.

So this is a mix of Received Pronunciation and more Casual Pronunciation - which I will explain now.

RP is also known as 'Queen's English' (fuck the monarchy, I am not talking about the fuckin' king rn) - it's posh. It's the English used in Bridgerton and in Pride and Prejudice - the high class accent, if you will. Very proper. You might code switch to RP in an important meeting or when presenting something; it's seen as high class and intelligent. Don't let me get into the classism please I am slightly tipsy. Hertfordshire people (again, basing this on the shrinking middle class) tend to use RP in almost a more casual way - using slang and dropping occasional letters, but mostly staying on course with the register.

So Kremy speaks like this to appear more intelligent and more personable.

Now, on to Sheffield - home of the Arctic Monkeys, who I suggest having a listen to for the accent. Northern Accents are a point of contention - a lot of southerners tend to both mock and sexualise them in equal measure.

Charity Shops are like thrift shops but all donations go to the charity - it's second hand stuff pretty much.

Unikorn is a punk/goth shop in the UK. Yes I go. No I can't afford anything.

WHSmith is a bookshop, and so is Waterstones, but Waterstones is a bit more high-end, and is liked a lot more too. Mmmm Waterstones cafe.

Some other bits that may help:

Thatcher - worst woman on earth. Grave is a public bathroom because she fucking sucks. I hate her. Like Reagan but in the UK and also a woman. #feminism

Gammy - just means fucked up really. Bad knee and stuff.

Cambridge is harder to get into than Oxford but Oxford has the more famous Alumni.

Societies - like clubs in Uni but like. Worse.

Bedford - where I attend Uni. Oh my perfect little shithole. <3

Tesco Meal Deal - oh brother, it used to be so good, but it just got upped to £3.60 (with a clubcard) and I can FEEL the recession hitting. Sandwich Drink Snack.

Man United and Man City - the two big football teams from Manchester. They HATE each other violently. God never ask a Man City supporter about Man United because you will be EVISCERATED. Or do it for a laugh why not.

Football/Footie - the nation's beloved. Everyone loves it, you can't escape it. If you don't get it, like me, you're an outsider. It's okay - cheer when the crowd does and the chants come pretty naturally, no one will ever know. I swap the team I support and keep it fucking quiet. Best way is to wait for World Cup and just shout 'COME ON ENGERLAAAAAND'. It has worked well for me :3

Pink velvet tracksuit - normally the sign of a spoiled kid, but Gricko buys these things without her asking because she hates shopping.

Pound coins for the sweet machine - its a machine where you can get shitty tubs of shitty sweets for a pound. Very delicious. Not worth a pound.

J2O - just a fruit drink in a glass bottle. Yummie <3

Jeremy Kyle - Like Dr Phil but he doesn't fix them, he makes the issues worse and puts them on TV. Morally awful but it's the thing you get sucked into watching - just trashy trashy TV. Only picks on working class people because he fucking sucks.

[just12daria]

Here my honest opinion on the Ayrton Senna (+ the documentary movie from 2010)

[So I'm gonna start with some basis, I'm born in Brazil and while I was a baby my mum watched Formula 1 all of the time. When I moved in North Macedonia when I was 3 years old my mum continued watching F1, and growing up I really started to like it. After Abu Dhabi 2021 when I was 14 I decided to stop watching for a while bc it was very difficult for me as a Lewis and Max fan. I also had to focus on school and etc. I watched a little in 2023 but not really much. I started getting obsessed with F1 again in Sept 2024. ]

It might sound crazy (bc I'm half Brazilian) but I've never been interested in Senna. I was in Brazil only 2/3 years of my life and I was ofc a baby so I don't really remember anything from there. My mum to this day is a huge fan of his but I was never really interested in classic F1. During the winter break I decided to watch some F1 movies and my mum suggestioned the Senna Documentary. I was excited but at the same time I wasn't expecting much bc we Brazilians have multiple wdc. When I started watching it I got bored in the start but as the film went on I got very interested. In the end I was shaking and crying. I don't think I've ever reacted that way to someone that died years before I was born. At that point I realized how important Ayrton is to Brazilians. And that's how I'm here rn haha

Tho I don't think the documentary was good. Just hear me out. There are a lot of major things they skipped that I had to look up online to find out. I'? Disappointed that they didn't talk about how much Schumacher blamed himself after the accident and the fact that he 'gifted' the championship to Ayrton. Also the documentary did NOT show any of the friendship between Senna and Prost. I had to stay up till 2am a few nights to find about the whole lore. And I guess back in 2010 Prost wasn't talking a lot about his relationship with Senna which is totally understandable but still you could've done more researches to show their friendship

And Ayrton as a person, I love him. I can't stand these allegations that he was a pdf. Back I'm the 80s/90s in Brazil it was legal to date a 15 year old (while being 25). My mum has told me multiple times abt a friend of her that dated a 28 year old in 1994 (they were 15). Yeah it most definitely isn't THE BEST thing you should and could do but it wasn't illigal neither it was pdf. I love the fact that he was so proud of his nationality and that a lot of the money he earned went to charity bc the situation in Brazil was very hard back then. My mum attended to his funeral and she always told me how everyone was crying (including her). So overall I love Ayrton and I'm so sad he's not here with us anymore. In my mind he's just one lap ahead 🩷

[theoryfan205]

If cecillia was in twst, how different would she and her lore be? And do you think she'd be in rsa -- if so, how do you think she'd get around the 'boys only' school rule? (I assume it's in place at both schools on the island, but I dont think it's ever explicitly stated for rsa. I could have missed it tho)

Oh my god I never considered Cecilia going to rsa but I love that idea, she is absolutely more hero like then roya, ironically enough though roya makes me think of Mulan in a twst context lol

While Cecilia is also a girl she does have something roya doesn't, money. Unfortunately I don't know how that would fly well with rsa's headmaster, I do know the fisalia's are often very noble and prestigious, if anyone is getting naturally enrolled in one of those school's it's a fisalia. At first I thought they'd somehow cheat the rules, like kalim didn't really earn the dorm leader position, pretty sure its got another name but I can't remember it rn, his family payed for it so perhaps Cecilia's family payed to be an exception.

The problem with that is kalims payout was more subtle meanwhile this one might be news worthy and it wouldn't get you good reputation, perhaps it's simply an old family exception? The fisalia's don't really operate on matriarchy or patriarchy, it's whoever can off the last head first, so uh it's a bit tricky to figure out how they're handling this

One way could be that Cecilia has lied her way in, sort of. Perhaps it was her brother who was intended to attend, but Cecilia went instead for whatever reason? Be it swapped by the family or she just stole his school spot, but I'm not too sure about that idea.

I do know Cecilia wouldn't mind being more masculine presenting to blend in, girl loves dressing up as a knight and being called handsome she is the exact opposite of roya in that regard.

The fisalia's are tricky, they are believed to be liars and villains but they are actually heroes serving a divine god, in wuwa anyway, so I'd imagine it's not much different here, people perceive them as more sinister like malleus's reputation maybe, but actually they're heroes still doing an ancient duty so nobody else must suffer, maybe that duty relates somehow to royal sword academy, which is why Cecilia gets a free pass in as an exception to the all boys rule, it causes some rumors but the head mage can dismiss them maybe?

Before I put Cecilia in diasomnia if she was in night raven college, but I don't really know if royal sword academy has similar dorms structure or what they are, so I'm not sure what dorm she might be in. Perhaps the Hercules dorm if they're the heroes of the villains who make up the nrc dorms, considering godly duty and all that, or snow whites for the poison?

Her family is very prestigious and important, she's almost guaranteed an in if not for the boys only school part, for nrc I could maybe say her family payed for an exception and promised to have her dress more masculine when reporters were around to hide it from the public. But rsa seems more heroic presenting, they might not accept such bribes so an old family relation might be the only thing going for her in the "please break the rules" department.

I think I'm just rambling myself in circles at this point, maybe both she and roya are both Mulan inspired in this context as girls pretending to be boys for their own perceived greater good? Roya for her father, relating a bit to why Mulan hid her gender and Cecilia with the mirrors and self identity problems, relating to that one song about her reflection and all that. Though maybe for Cecilia it's more of an open secret, we all know she's a girl just don't tell the public she's chill, most regular students know bad things about her family so they're too afraid to tattle, what if she poisons them? Though some students care little and befriend her anyway, neige is probably at least friendly with her, man's already friends with a guy who actually tried to poison him once, I'm sure he can handle girl with only rumors about her family name. I think she'd like chenya, you've got magic to turn invisible?! Tell her how please. She's still got her secret side, to most students she's impassive, I think? All her smiles are fake and just polite, her conversations never go any deeper if you let her lead them, she's interested in keeping the peace, her true self can die if that means she won't be in trouble with her family.

With what I know of the rsa boys I think she'd be closest to chenya, neige and her would have that passive politeness with each other, it looks super friendly from afar but it's actually quite hollow by her design, chenya however is more unpredictable and so Cecilia cannot figure him out at all, instead he prods a bit and gets to see more of her true self, she might need to push it down for the family but it's not keen to die without a fight.

She wants to be herself and sage island is so very far away from her family's eyes, she can be a little twisted and ignore her family duty for a bit, right? I'd imagine she would sneak to nrc with Chenya in her knight disguise, just to let loose a little, he makes comments how it's silly she can't do it anywhere and she says he just wouldn't get it. She doesn't want to risk rsa students recognizing her despite the mask, and with people who wouldn't know her she finds it easier to let loose for just a moment, to achieve true freedom beneath her wings before it must be taken out from under her, it's for the family after all.

Perhaps she might be better connected to Isabella from encanto plus Mulan? If we're doing Disney hero relations anyway. Both do the things they do for their family, but one specifically wishes to be free from it all like Cecilia does. Maybe I should do a wiki dive into rsa to see if there's anything I've missed from events or something that tells me a little more about the school itself.

[big-parma]

The Absolute State of Maths Education rn

Yo so the bigwigs at VCAA (the guys who write the curriculum for all education in Victoria, Australia) have been coming out with new study designs for almost all VCE classes that’ll be implemented at different points over the next 3 years. The VCE is considered relatively prestigious-ish in the sense there’s a fair few people in other countries who send their kids to Victoria to do it (Australia’s biggest export is education after all) so it’s a big deal when major changes happen to how important courses run. Context = understood.

So I’m a maths (…and science) teacher now and the major changes to the three maths streams since I graduated in 2012 can be summed up like this:

Spesh (the highest tier of maths, scales up the most out of any course except stuff like Latin) - Kinematics are less of a thing but they added in Proofs and hypothesis tests(?!) instead

Methods (still high scaling, but more like uni engineering maths instead of theoretical crazy hard stuff) - Stats removed, some more “calculus but if you can’t do calculus to that particular thing” included instead

Further Maths (General maths, scales down(?!) and is the “ya got a mortgage here’s a maths problem” class that a commerce degree at uni usually means by saying you need at least one maths background to get in) - the stats from methods is here now and they call it General Maths to stop the confusion with it and methods

and there’s also now a fourth tier of maths called foundation

I’m assuming foundation is the barebones “pay your bills with x income And do your taxes” class your relatives keep saying they should’ve been taught how to do in school

So that’s all the changes across a decade of education. When they announced “big changes are coming to the way things will work across VCE maths” I think I’m safe to say most of us took it as the usual reordering and in/out for content as described above. Since I’m a good boy (read “I wanted to put on a good front to make sure I got my contract extension” - I’m permanent now dw) I attended the online seminars (lmao webex) that they presented as information sessions on the changes.

First one was Spesh. No biggie, exactly what you’d expect, some stuff’s swapped again, hang on Pseudocode is in..? But that’s just any code that could do any maths?! And they’re mentioning that it’s in methods too??? The chat at this point’s asking a lot of questions, mostly “how can we know what’s examinable so we can actually teach this??” But thankfully they have an example that should satisfy you:

This is not even a half step above “hello world” and it’s in the hardest maths course? How hard does this get? What do they consider legit? Is there an example exam question that they have as a reference? How will they be able to write textbooks on this if that’s all they have?

No answer. Oh well methods is the next day maybe that will elaborate on it.

Methods opens with the same spiel on things, negligible changes imo on actual content… and he acknowledges some confusion from yesterday on Pseudocode! Has he got an answer? What’s the example this time…

Oh. And it’s definitely examinable and we might elaborate on that later but for now that’s all we got.

That was all 2022. Recently (2023) they did the same thing for “revisions” which was for FurtherGeneral Maths’ course (all of these are being phased in kinda since changing a year 12 course when year 11s are running on the old one makes no sense). Guess what showed up in the General Maths study design!

It’s ya boi 21st century life skills!

I’ll be honest, I was a little suss on this from the Meth/Spesh presentations but I think this confirms what I was thinking: this is some boomers pulling the “kids need to learn how to computer” card isn’t it? Don’t get me wrong, kids do need to learn to computer, but lol as if they’ve got this as their only example to show off across all three variety of maths!

But wait, there’s more!

They’ve got a page about it now! Yay! There’s some more examples - harder ones now - but there’s still no actual information on how this topic can be presented on the actual end of year exams. What do i teach them? What constitutes legit Pseudocode vs nonsense pretend code? Is this basic computer science 101 or are the kids going to be presented with a max level spesh question through the lenses of a guy saying “yeah but make it code”

eh I’ll just teach them excel :)

[embeddedsystems-shius]

Upon calculating the actual amount of pay I'm getting, I found out that I'm receiving less than minimum wage every month pretty much - likely because of my illness and lack of attendance. At the same time, if even having 2 sick days off every month already drives my pay way below the average person's monthly salary, then there's no way that this job is actually sustainable, for me.

Freelance earns me at least 3 times more without me having to be at attendance for over 40 hours a week. I didn't continue down that path because I had to earn for 2 people, and stability was more important than the quality of the paycheck itself, if I was covering for money, bills, and rent.

It left me with basically nothing, which I was used to at that point - but now I really gotta look back on myself and wonder what the hell I was trying to do. That isn't a quality of life I should just be "used to by now". Regardless of how I felt about the sentiment at the time, my family was right, in this case - I was living with a leech.

He finally got a job in the last year of our relationship (aka. last year, when I was physically dying), but it was. Too little, and way too late. It was 3 days a week, and he still complained about doing all the work (again, I was suffering and bed-ridden via liver failure at the time), in the house, and in his job (while I was still the main breadwinner, even as I was actively bedridden) and nothing in the house would get done unless I was well enough to push him to do shit. The house was never clean, and we even suffered a bug infestation while he was here. It took me months after he left for me to get this house anywhere near liveable, again.

He barely talked to me while I suffered from being bed-ridden, and most of the time last year, I just spent suffering in a dark room, alone. Emotional comfort wasn't an option, cause it "hurts to see you like this", or "I'm tired from doing everything and I need a break".

Like bro... I've been in your seat for the last 3 years of our relationship... And you can't handle (even barely) a trade of roles for one. That's great, dude. Don't complain when I say that this relationship isn't mutual, then. Cause it isn't.

There's a large part of me that felt pressured to perform at my job, pressured to propose to him (especially after I started delving back into my past, and remembering one specific person existed), and pressured to walk on eggshells around my ex. But I can't live like that. And I can't be his "emotional regulator" while doing all this at the same time. My friends comments on housing him is really opening my eyes up on what the fuck I was actually dealing with.

So much of my life was centered around being a provider and a protector - to somebody who was saying that they wanted to play the provider and protector role (without actually doing anything), and then complaining when I didn't have the energy to pay attention to their every fucking breakdown.

I... Refuse, to live like that, again. If I ever get into any other romantic relationship in my life (btw I am not counting on this, regardless on if I have a crush on somebody), it needs to be mutual. There needs to be an understanding there that I can't be my partner's hero, and that I also need help sometimes, mostly some emotional support, and that I don't want to be neglected, like I've always been.

I don't want to be together, but still alone, with somebody. Not again. I don't want to walk on eggshells around the person I love, because I'm scared of every little thing that might make them deem me worthless.

I can't... I can't hamdle that. Not another time. Not again. I can't keep allowing that shit to just happen to myself.

I just want somebody to care about me, the same way i care about them. I dunno. I'm not having a good time rn

[kilosch]

Journal Entry: 9/26/2024

Morning Routine & Work: Woke up early but feeling like crap, despite getting enough sleep. I attended the 8 a.m. virtual meeting, checking in to make sure I didn’t miss anything important. Planned to finish two CTC Facesheets before heading out for the day’s accompaniment assignment. Ruby wasn’t feeling well—understandable, given her cousin’s recent passing in a drug deal gone wrong in Apple Valley. That weighed heavy on my mind as I prepped for the day.

Accompaniment Assignment: I got to the office early, just to print the appointment for the first client. Helped a coworker find the OT closet—guided her to where Lauren (the OT Supervisor) keeps things. After that, drove 10 minutes through LA traffic to Northeast LA for the accompaniment. Parked and paid $10 (as usual in LA). I had little information from Kaci (RN) and Aryanna (MCW) about what the client looked like, so I played detective, observing folks in the clinic who looked like they might be experiencing homelessness. Ended up calling Kaci for more details and finally found the guy. The visit didn’t last long—he couldn’t get his X-ray because of a new insurance issue. I relayed the info and got transportation to take him back to his shelter.

More Client Visits: From there, I headed to East Hollywood to pick up meds for another client of Aryanna’s and Vanessa (OT). The drive into Hollywood wasn’t fun—typical road rage, and I almost lost a side mirror in the narrow parking spaces. Got the meds dropped off smoothly, though. On the way home, I decided to grab Jollibee—spaghetti, fried chicken, and two yamburgers. Took a photo and bragged about it to the EMT gang. The drive from Hollywood to Jollibee Alhambra was brutal—43 minutes—then another 21 minutes to get home.

Big News – I Passed My Background! When I got home, I wasn’t aware of a meeting I had to attend, so I quickly joined via mobile while walking from my car. During the meeting, I checked my email and saw a message from the State Police agency—I passed my background check! After years of grueling work, it’s finally done. I’ll need to complete the PC 832 Arrest and Control course within 30 days. It’s a huge relief and a motivation boost for the Police Academy.

Workday Wrap-Up: Told my parents about passing the background check—they were happy. I couldn’t hide my excitement during the work meeting, and I told my EMT crew that I might be leaving soon for the academy. They were supportive, though there was a bittersweet vibe. Later, I met with Teamlet 2 (Vanessa OT, Kaci RN, Aryanna MCW), and they thanked me for helping with their clients. We discussed carpooling for future visits, and since I’m cleared to drive a county vehicle, I volunteered to be the driver for our next trip.

End of Day: After clocking out, I searched for PC832 courses but found out that only community colleges and police academies offer them. I’ll likely need to attend the one in Huntington Beach and call in sick for three days. It’s going to be a long process. I skipped dinner to avoid heartburn and ended the day feeling mentally drained, despite the good news. Still battling these feelings of depression, but I’m trying to stay positive.

Reminder for Tomorrow: Dinner with Ate Mela and Isaac at 3 p.m. in Santa Monica. I hope tomorrow feels lighter.

[lesbianenjolras]

Ok nvm more yapping under the cut. Tumblr is my diary and baby, I'm writing in pink glitter gel. Ignore this <3

I'm formatting this like greentext bc its funny

Big Font.

😨

Ddo you like Wilbur soot. Cuz I do

Anyways:

>be me on NYE

>one of my friends asked me to take a picture out of this end of year video thing I post on my 15 subs youtube channel every year at the end of the year.

> he says because his phone screen is visible and hes worried about what's on it. Says it might be some rp server he was on at the time the picture was taken and thinks it could he embarrassing. (This is important remember this.)

>I zoom in on the picture, it literally looks like a black screen.

> he says hes still worried about someone seeing it

>okay whatever. I try my best to remove this picture that last for like 2 seconds out of a 15 minute long video. (Sidebar, this picture was already in a different video months ago and he was fine w it then and literally has never brought up removing it from that video once.)

> I save changes to the video

> "okay I think I got it, but there might be like .5 seconds of it still, bc YouTube's editing thing sucks"

> he says its fine, because it's a 15 minute long video and the longest that clip is in there for is like. A singular second.

> 2 months later

> be me

> this mf hasnt talked to me, or basically any of my friends since new years.

> guy literally dropped out of the play despite wanting to be in it since September

>guy is literally in all 4 of my classes and hasnt attended a single one since the second day of the semester.

>I'm walking around the school bc the gender neutral bathrooms are closed, so I'm going to the least scary girls bathrooms near the front of the school.

> guy and one of my friends show up and stop me in the hallway.

> friend: "hey guy needs to talk to you."

> me: "bro I have to piss rn can it wait"

> apparently not.

> Guy: "I know you don't understand why I feel this way" (most condescending tone possible)

> turns out changes didnt save in YouTube video and the picture is still in the video for literally 0.003% of the entire runtime.

> tells me to remove it because he thinks that he was "texting his mom about his attempt at the time"

> picture was taken a month before the attempt. also he told me it was the rp server the first time I tried to remove it.

> ok whatever. I say I'll remove the picture.

> interaction is very awkward(mind you we're standing in the middle of a high school hallway while hes telling me all this) I leave and go piss

> I go back to class after pissing

>friend (who was with guy) says that was the first time guys talked to her in a few weeks.

>I show her the picture on my phone, bc I feel like I'm going crazy. The phone literally only looks turned on bc you can see a slightly outline of a white keyboard. Not to mention the photo is BLURRY.

>friend confirms that you can't see fucking shit on the phone in the picture.

>thank god because I thought I was somehow wrong for thinking you cant see shit

Also, bro saw that video that the picture was in once, freaked out bc he thought you could see his rp server in it, then tried to tell me TWO MONTHS LATER (and almost 10 months AFTER the picture was taken and posted in a different video THAT HE SAW) that he was talking to his mom about a suicide attempt in there. I didnt even remember about that bro how tf did he manage to keep that in his brain for two fucking months. Get different meds you fucking dweeb like oh my god. Clearly whatever you're on now isnt working.

[bea-does-stuff]

hi ml, could u do dabi, bakugo and Todoroki if you were $ucid@l, it sounds a lot but I rlly need it rn. No shame if you don’t too, just:/

I’m not sure if your going through something or not, but we all deserve some comforting love every now and then, stay strong my lovelies!

Warning: suicide mentions and attempts, self harm mentions, angst, a lot of crying

Word count: 648

Characters: Dabi, Bakugou and todoroki

𝐃𝐀𝐁𝐈

He found about you being suicidal when he got back home really late, the moment he opened the door he could hear violent crying coming from the bathroom

It took a while of convincing, but you eventually admitted that you weren’t ok, and it utterly broke his heart. The only words that came into his mind were “Why didn’t you… tell me sooner..?”

Once he discovers your suicidal, he will never leave you alone, even if the lov gets mad at his lack of attendance, he doesn’t give a shit, your more important, your always more important

He will also do everything to make you happy, he will do the chores he always rebelled on doing, he will always make sure you drink enough water, and he’ll hold every hour of the day until those rain clouds disappear.

He also wanted to give you a gift, something to cheer you up, it was a big plushie of your favourite animal, but the special thing about it was that Dabi didn’t steal it like all the other gifts he gave you, he saved up enough money to get it himself, to walk into a public place and buy something to make you smile, even if it’s just for one day

His small gesture of kindness really caught you off guard and overwhelmed you, you hugged him as tight as you could while softly crying

“I-I’m sorry…i don’t know why i’m c-crying i-” No.” Dabi stopped you “Never apologise for crying, not to me or anyone.” 

𝐁𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐆𝐎𝐔

He found out in the worst way possible, you were on a balcony, staring at the ground, your eyes were empty, not sadness, joy, anger, they just looked tired and emotionless

He was lucky enough to grab you by the hand before you jumped, which really caught you off guard “What…the hell were you thinking?” He was angry, but not that usual anger he had, he was quiet, but deep down you knew he was scared.

After that, he would do anything to make you smile, cook for you, cuddle you, take you out if you were comfortable with it

It all made you feel guilty, because no matter how much bakugou tried, you weren’t happy and he knew it

One day you eventually broke down, you began to sob uncontrollably “I-I’m so sorry! Your d-doing so much for me to make me happy but i…I” bakugou looked livid “Listen to me right now.” He narrowed his eyes i love you and i want you to be happy, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be sad” his words only made you cry more, even if this time the cries weren’t because of sadness

He cupped your face, his eyes staring into your puffy ones

“It’s ok, to not be ok”

𝐓𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐈

He finds out when it’s late at night and your both in bed, he cuddling up to you when he noticed the tears beginning to form in the rims of your eyes, you looked at him, trying desperately not to sob or shriek, silently uttering the word “I…I don’t think i’m ok…”

He knows what it feels like to be in a dark place, he knows it oh so well, and even if emotions aren’t his strong suit he will try, he will try for you

There's so much he wants to say to you but the words can’t leave his tongue, so instead he tells you with actions

If you stay up all night crying, he’ll be there patting your back and crying with you

If you stay in your room and lock your door, he’ll make sure there's nothing in there that can hurt you

If your having a bit of a happier day, he’ll enjoy every moment of it, and even if the rain clouds come back, that's fine, because he’ll be here every step of the way

[sammytheotakunerd]

So, with all of the "Cheating" AU's, whether it was genshin or manhwa's, there is still a fandom that I know and can write for. And that exact fandom is the

Obey me fandom~

There really isn't much about the cheating and I want to give some of my headcannon.

You know the typical "Lucifer" or "Asmodeus" But Nope! They're not the one's I'm making. Rather, I'll be making headcannons about a certain red head. yup, that's right, Diavolo :D (Want some of barbatos headcannons too? Making it rn )

Let's think that you're a daughter of a high-ranking demon. Diavolo only agreed because it'll benefit him and will cause less headaches.

Now, to add salt, Diavolo and you fell in love. Diavolo fell in love with you because of your kind nature. For a demon whose rank is close to him, that's quite a rare feat. He at first doubts your nature. You're a demon for devildom's sake! You must've orchestrated all to gain his love.

But he knew deep down that he loved you. He knows he can't love you. That's why he took a lover.

You knew Diavolo's schedule like the back of your hand. He's often busy at weekdays because of RAD, Paperworks and something about the noble fraction. Diavolo often got noble guests to persuade and talk about important stuff.

While you're working at the castle's budget. Barbatos was the one in charge of the but since you've been in the position, you handled it. It was a piece of cake for you. You've been training for this very moment since the day you were born. But you've notice recently that Diavolo leaves the castle because he needs to attend an 'important' meeting.

You just shrugged it off. Maybe he really is busy? You didn't want to intervene with that kind of stuff. But how long was he going out? It started as 4 hours that turned to 8 hours that turned 15 hours... Yes, you kept tracked of time! And he still wasn't here.

Oh? So, you thought Barbatos is going to tell you where Diavolo is heading every day? Quite wrong if I do say so.

Barbatos knows that Diavolo has a secret lover. But as Diavolo's butler, he cannot say a word to someone that his own master doesn't trust. He doesn't really care for you, you know? Demons like him will and would only obey the wishes of their master. Nothing more, nothing less.

When you found out yourself that Diavolo had a Lover, your heart ached. The first question that came to mind was why? All of the things you've learned, all the things to please him and it was still not enough?

You didn't say a word that you knew. You did what you do regularly. But now, you don't wait for him and just go to bed. Silently crying while managing the castles budget, placing a spell to dry your soaked pillow and pretending to not know.

What's worse than this was that the audacity of Diavolo to introduce his mistress to you. Saying that "She's going to be my assistant as of today". How obvious of a lie that was.

And the pain that the mistress looks, looked so much like you.

[who1ssheesh]

Impossible

reborn doesn’t die. ive said this. 

squalo being so disgustingly cute for his s/o here. 

Warnings: lots of swearing; fem!reader; huge OOC; lowkey character is implied: reader is an educated and smart and probably artsy? (happened accidentally): 100% wrong grammar, english is not my native; no beta we die like tyl tsuna

Note: im not sure this is such and OOC since the whole premise is “squalo is uniquely soft only for you, and no one knows about that side of his”. first time at writing, dying from shame rn, will probably delete this soon. 

Impossible.

Squalo is impossible.

Such a foul-mothed, rude, loud and ill-mannered brute.

At first it seems as if he is trying his best to make you hate him. Squalo’s words usually cut deeper than his sword thrusts in inside of one’s body, but with you it feels like after that this sword also whirls in your already shaking body to hurt even more. Squalo notices your every small failure and is glad to stick your nose in those every time. He turns his head away on the days you look especially good and scoffs when you prove your intelligence.

But a fun fact you notice way too late: if Squalo hated you that much, then why the fuck has he always been around you?

Truth is simple: captain is good at everything but feeling feelings.

That is not the most important fact but the one that he is aware of it. Superbia is actually extremely self-aware.

And he knows he is hard and not going to change. Ever. You cannot run away from mafia, this is a pact made for life – and it doesn’t last long for many. He is indeed a violent brute and obviously fucked in the head at least a little bit – a bloodthirsty shark, excuse me for such an obvious comparison – and takes a huge pride in this. Because this is the reason Varia thrived when Xanxus wasn’t around, biggest people in mafia world fear him and, most importantly, he became best of the best. He is a fucking Emperor.

And not the least, Squalo hates lying. Maybe that is the reason he hated those cover-ups missions and Levi-a-Than with his brown nose. Squalo is who he is and he shows this right away in the worst way.

What I’m trying to say: if you cannot handle him at his worst, you do not deserve him at his best. And yeah, such a high-ranking person needs to be deserved.

And he hates that “some civilian bitch who grew up like a home plant”, while he made himself through blood and tears literally,   got him wrapped up so easily. Caught him like a fish, huh?

Squalo has never had a normal life and doesn’t understand that you do not have fight every rock like a caveman.

But just show him your teeth. Squalo is a big scary man always smelling like metal, with steel eyes widely opened looking for a pray. And you dare to go against him? God damn, you poor soul. And if you make fun of him smooth and smartass-ish enough that Squalo even has to think to realize you insulted him, GOD DAMN. You are unhinged.

He likes it.

No, he does not.

He loves it.

When you show that not only you can handle him at his worst, but even be equally fierce, Squalo does not turn away. He is asking for a date right away when this happens: you say ‘yes’ now or he is leaving and never coming back.

No, he does not give much of a choice. If captain wants, captain takes. And fights if he needed.

Fun facts: fancy dates with Squalo are the worst. Yes, he knows how to look sophisticated and elegant, but it is one thing to attend black-tie events with killers around and another to go to a ‘regular’ restaurant. Everyone will think he is a pig of a man, trust me. He can impress mafia with his character, but cannot be polite at least a little bit with a waitress to save his life.

And Squalo generally hates ‘fancy’ even as a word. So he will personally organize the best date for you but will be screwing your brain for the whole duration. But appreciate that he tried, you know.

Will tell you right away that he is involved into something shady.  Will explain all the ‘cool important sword varia guy’ thing later on because showing all of his cards right away is vitally dangerous for you. Especially it could be if you rejected him. Oof.

NO Varia.

No.

No.

N. o.

Squalo obviously appreciates your opinion (in his dumb ways) and knows you are an adult doing whatever you want, but he is a stone wall in discussing mafia.

It’s a no. End of discussion. You do not know what mafia is. Squalo does. He does know that death is always the first thing to consider and sitting on a keg of gun powder when literally anyone can come in with a weapon is hell of a life.

He will not ever tell you but he does not want to taint you with this. Squalo is not foul-mothed, rude, loud and ill-mannered bloodthirsty douche because he has been born like that, he was made into this to adapt. And one of you has to live, you know. And Superbia will be ready to die for his partner. He also will never tell you this.

To be honest, thinks you would survive in mafia with your witty brain. Of course you will, you are his significant other.

Squalo will be away for a long time. Months.

Fun thing: you can’t call him at all. Maybe can send him messages, I think, but only he can call you. There is actually reasoning for this. Squalo is a fucking genius and is capable to cover your existence from Varia even if (when, hehe) you marry, and that is exactly what he is doing.

He does not want to ruin his badass image in eyes of subordinates with a sweet, witty, beautiful and so perfect you. Even if he wants to tell everyone bragging about their hot chicks that the best woman has already been taken. Squalo has her and it is too obvious that she has him too.

I have a dumb headcanon: for some reason people used to think Squalo is a tech clown  still using a flip phone BUT HEAR ME OUT?? He has a humor of a god and likes to mess with Varia so he uses a flip phone for work to piss everyone and secretly has a personal newest shiniest iPhone hidden somewhere. And there is your photo on a home screen. But not on a lock screen. He does not want you to find out.

Squalo slowly learning to be ‘regular’ at home with you is a comedy gold. If you find out that he calls your cat your shared child, is actually a fucking MAMA enjoying house cleaning and binging ikea to make your apartment ‘homy’, Superbia will react worse that someone trying to assassinate him.

He does love your cozy house indeed. Probably, to be honest, he is going to live in your apartment at first…because he did not have any before you. There used to be only Varia.

He likes that he leaves his small things there. They are so small to notice but strangers will notice that someone else is in this house. And this someone is Squalo. Go away.

Squalo does not care about meeting your parents because he does not care. Will not hide from this, but you will probably be kicked out from your family because he will be his usual disgusting self lol.

No jokes now: dating someone like him can be problematic for a family, especially considering his career, so if anything happens, Squalo gotcha. Because he has pride and dignity and is overall better then ‘those shitheads’.

Will buy you the best house in the world, you just say. But! He will has a training room and a garage of sorts to mess with his swords. I mean, there are a lot of mechanics going on with his prosthetic arm and a sword, he obviously knows how to repair them or sum?

Squalo will spoil you when he is back from ‘work trips’. You can forget even about cooking, your bae is here to help. He will repair ANYTHING and to it really good. Any document and papers problem is not a problem but you better do the talking because Squalo  will try to strangle someone in 30 seconds. Your man will enjoy domestic life even more in TYL! and later in life because he will get burnt out at work.  

100% you both will have a close civilian friend group. Rare moments where Squalo can be just a person and do bullshit ha-ha stuff like ‘being drunk and throwing a chair out of a window with the bois’. Those meetings are when you notice that Squalo has a good sense of humor and actually is chatty and your friends like him. Not something he can afford in mafia.

Hey, he is actually so touchy when drunk.

If Squalo does a shit tone of stuff for you and you do nothing in return, he will point this out.

He does not ask for much In fact. He is used being an independent loner to the point it was insulting in the beginning of your relationship.

Surprise him with a dinner, help him get ready to leave for months again, just hug him sometimes out of the blue, and he is whipped.

Squalo enjoys a good debate. An it’s funny in a way that he is educated life-wise but such a dummy in academic stuff and you can mess with it. Even if you are a medic, an engineer, he is going to study this just to kick your ass. Bitch. (Just wants to share your interest with you. And also kick your ass)

Actually, falls in love deeper when sees your passion and intelligence. The way you study all the time. Or you know several languages. Or you are such a professional in your field.

I honestly think Squalo would have some special click with someone artistic. He is so loud and hyperactive and being with someone phlegmatic and elegant with their non-standard lifestyle is something else. Squalo does not understand art. Almost. The way he can control the edge of the sharpest sword and be quieter than the silence is an art for him. People think he is a weirdo – c’mon he is using a sword in a gun era – and you both can share being weirdos in your own ways.

Imagine being an architect. (that’s not because im too i swear). Precise numbers connecting with your artistic burst? It just sounds so….Squalo Superbia.

Imagine you start taking interest in swordsmanship.

IMAGINE WANTING TO BECOME A WEAPON DESIGNER.

He will carry you in his arms. Only to train you lmao.

‘Babe, it is time for your sword practice again’ ‘Ok, honey’

Imagine you two being together for so long that you design him the best sword you are capable of. You fucking magnum opus – just like relationship with Superbia is.

You actually can draw him a shitty meme shark and a stickman and he will keep it. He will laugh his ass off really loud but does not matter. He obviously will not keep it with him. But you will notice that he hides those in his books or sum.

If you do something of shitty quality, Squalo will oh so much be proud if you keep getting better at this. But he will still say the work of a shitty quality. He is lethally dangerous for someone emotionally vulnerable, but we understood this at the beginning of this post.

I mean, really do not take that to heart. Squalo could say you have your hands growing from your ass now and say you are impressive in a day if you still keep doing whatcha doing.

Later in relationship, sometimes Squalo slips at small things that tell you he thinks about you a lot. He once said “when we marry” instead of “if we marry”. He says “a favourite boy name” instead of a “favourite name”.

He knows it should not happen. Even Squalo has his insecurities because his standards are so high. A spouse and a child not seeing a father for half a year and have a possibility to get killed any moment? No.

But you stay. Knowing his worst side, how unusual and hard being with him is, but you are here.

Impossible.

Squalo is impossible.

Such a foul-mothed, rude, loud and ill-mannered brute.

But yours.