#hes edgy and beautiful.. yes.. definitely want to draw him again. i need to also learn more about him!

[heuldoch7b]

hi lovely!! I'm done being a little baby and I am finally letting you know that I would love to see your interpretation of Corvus Corax!! He's my favorite of the brothers and one of the Primarchs that I don't feel gets a lot of attention despite his abilities. -raven lady

i honestly knew nothing about corvus until looking into him today! hes so fuckin cool. i had to give him a beard cause raven beards are one of their best traits, hope you understand. im definitely going to be drawing him again in the future ( •̀ω •́ )

[pennylanewrites]

I got seven different asks about the College AU so here are some headcanons I have about them! (imagine aiura is in the picture I couldn’t find a good one with all of them)

I definitely didn’t mean to make this so long but I can’t help it I love them all so much<3

~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~

Saiki Kusuo

→ marine!!!biology!!!major!!!!!!!!

→ doesn’t need to study but he still does bc he finds marine life so fascinating

→ read all of his textbooks on the first day bc he was so excited eeeek

→ always wears his germanium ring in class so he can stay hashtag focused

→ him and aiura have to bail toritsuka(didn’t go to college) out of jail once a month

→ speaking of aiura, she somehow has convinced him to go on a date on five different occasions

→ i think after high-school he realised he didn’t mind a kind of casual not-relationship with her

→ lets her hug him to greet him and sometimes he hugs back bc college boys stare a lot and he is just worried for her okay?

→ maybe I’m just projecting bc I kin aiura

→ does not go to parties unless he absolutely has to

→ if he does go to a party he’ll drink something quietly in a corner, just watching the crowd

→ a perv laced Teruhashi’s drink and almost lured her up the stairs so of fucking course Kusuo sprinted to help her, holding her on the way home bc men are drawn to her like bees to honey

→ she didn’t let him live it down ever

→ he rented a studio apartment and keeps it super clean, minimum clutter but enough to look lived in

→ cooks amazing food that Nendo smells from upstairs and next thing you know, they’re all bringing chairs to Kusuo’s apartment and have dinner

→ nothing excuses the fact he makes at least eight servings every time–

→ such a dad to everyone honestly

→ usually studies at a library or teleports back home if there’s a big test

→ mrs. saiki was banned from visiting every two days but she still ends up there somehow

→ not that he minds bc he’s the biggest mama’s boy ever

→ probably graduates a year early

→ doesn’t move away even though he got a job at the aquarium at the other side of the city help–

Kaidou Shun

→ fine arts major you can NOT change my mind

→ doesn’t do good in theoretical subjects but mans can draw some good bowls of fruit

→ wears those stained from the paints t-shirts all the time bc ‘no they’re not dirty it’s art!’

→ him and aren have small designated spaces in their apartment so they can focus on their hobbies/studying

→ his corner at the living room has newspapers on the floor to protect it from the splattering paint, some canvases propped up on the wall and a lot of unfinished projects

→ hides all of them when Nendou comes over

→ can not cook or clean to save his life

→ so he calls his mum to help clean up when Aren is at work

→ got over his 8th grader syndrome at some point

→ still wears red bandages bc he’s edgy

→ volunteers at the neighborhood exhibit centre

→ got asked to showcase his own works for a night and hasn’t shut up about it since

→ goes to yumehara for relationship advice and braids her hair as a thank you

→ couples sleepovers with Yumehara and Teruhashi (yes they’re dating shut up)

→ always makes something for Aren at special occasions (birthdays, anniversaries etc)

→ at first he went back home every saturday bc he missed his family :(

→ Aren helps him get over it though!!!!

Nendou Riki

→ got in on a sports scholarship

→ we already know he couldn’t be accepted in a college otherwise

→ in the chiropractic major bc he wants to be one of those athlete doctors

→ has failed way too many exams and classes

→ Hairo helps him so much though!!!

→ the last one in the group to graduate but somehow gets a job first (excluding Saiki)

→ him and hairo get up at 5 am for jogging or to hit the gym

→ and then he goes and gets noodles bc ‘if noodles aren’t for breakfast why do shops open at 6 am?’

→ hasn’t stepped foot in class in months

→ he gets decent grades after failing the first semester and it’s totally not Saiki’s doing

→ he ends up signing up for way too many clubs

→ attends all of the meetings and has so many friends through them

→ I would be his friend too in college honestly

→ a fraternity wanted to get him bc he’s so good at sports

→ he declined bc he does not understand how fraternities even work

→ is the life of EVERY SINGLE PARTY change my mind you can’t

→ whatever you do don’t imagine nendo surprising his boyfriend with flowers after every practice

→ *dies cutely*

Kuboyasu Aren

→ SOCIOLOGY MAJOR

→ idk I just think he would enjoy Marx’s Capital

→ debate club? hell yeah

→ gets in philosophical conversations at the school yard for HOURS

→ kaidou has to drag him away

→ only shops at thrift stores and makes coffee at home bc “capitalism is not accepted in this household”

→ rides his motorcycle to college even though he lives five minutes away

→ grew his hair out in a mullet again and he looks *chef’s kiss*

→ thought he would be moving too fast if he asked Kaidou to rent an apartment together

→ aiura convinced him it was fine

→ cooks kaidou’s favorite foods every day

→ participates in student rallies, human rights protests etc etc

→ comes home with bruises and kaidou thinks he looks so hot but still yells at him

→ Aren’s favorite place to study is his balcony or at a coffee shop

→ always with kaidou! cute boyfriends who do everything together!!

→ gets so drunk when they go out

→ drunk karaoke with kokomi yes yes yes

Hairo Kineshi

→ did someone say Athletic Training?

→ does every single sport and is amazing at it

→ will cheer for his bf if they have a game at the same time though

→ it was his idea to move in together bc ‘hey we’ve been dating for three years now might as well’

→ volunteers at a nearby elementary as a coach for the kids

→ SO GOOD WITH KIDS

→ wants to be a P.E. Teacher and he’s going to be great at it

→ does everything he can at campus

→ helping random clubs, making posters, cleaning up the hallways, helping the cheer squad with their new routine

→ dances ballet as a hobby even though he’s so good at it that he could be a professional

→ makes everything a competition with Nendo so they never get bored

→ once made everyone get up to jog with them and they ended up sleeping on random benches while Hairo and Nendo were halfway across town

→ will punch someone if he sees them catcalling a girl

→ doesn’t drink at all and eats super healthy

→ designated driver for the group’s outings downtown

Aiura Mikoto

→ THEATER MAJOR

→ is so good at stage acting it’s unreal

→ lands the lead role almost every time

→ is also an amazing singer so she gets great roles in musicals as well

→ doesn’t have to get a job bc she gets all her money from doing readings on campus

→ gets coffees and pastries from all the coffee shops around campus and sits Kusuo down so he can taste them

→ they have a little taste-testing date in his apartment until they decide none of them are as good as the ones at Cafe Mami

→ she totally doesn’t make him teleport there every morning and he totally doesn’t listen to her

→ moved in with chiyo bc they wanted a nice place that they couldn’t afford on their own

→ teruhashi told them to move in with her but they already loved their little place

→ aiura’s bedroom is the most comfortable and cozy room ever

→ their apartment is also the hang out spot for the group bc it’s just so homey

→ hangs out with her theatre group a lot, especially after class

→ they can’t compare to her friends though:(

→ everyone goes to her when they’re worried and she loves it bc she’s the mummy of the group

→ she makes everyone coffee and their comfort food before big exams:)

Yumehara Chiyo

→ psychology major one thousand percent

→ you know how they say that people choose psychology bc they don’t know what major they want?

→ that’s exactly what happened except she fell in love with it immediately

→ such a good student!!!

→ always does her assignments on time and still manages to have a social life

→ teruhashi asked her out at the end of their first semester and that’s the first time chiyo missed a deadline

→ practically lives with teruhashi, insisting it’s just to leave aiura alone

→ she’s just IN LOVE OKAY?????

→ would want to be a sorority girl at first

→ changed her mind when she realized how much shit they all talked

→ her and kaidou drink wine and talk about their relationships and studies

→ she’s so sleep deprived it’s unreal

→ she doesn’t need sleep anymore though

→ coffee is her best friend

→ makes asks Aiura for readings twice a week

→ brings all her psychology friends home and they analyze their textbooks

→ once she got the hang of it, she decided to examine Kusuo

→ she told him he needs actual medical evaluation

→ he almost threw her out the window when she offered some Xanax for his nerves

→ chiyo is a neat freak one hundred percent

→ hates when Aiura throws everything on the floor, but she loves cleaning

→ opens her own office after school

Teruhashi Kokomi

→ PRE-MED

→ lesbian doctor :)

→ just wanted to get away from her perv brother at first

→ she always wanted to be a doctor though, preferably a neurosurgeon

→ she’s super duper smart and hates when she gets good grades bc of her good looks:(

→ makes it her goal to show her professors that she’s more than a beautiful girl

→ hasn’t failed a single exam

→ helps everyone with their studies even though she’s drowning in work

→ drops the perfect girl image at college and decides she should try and aim for something normal

→ gets invited to every single party

→ in a knitting club bc it would get disbanded without one more member

→ knits!!!matching!!!sweaters!!!for all of her friends!!!

→ asked Chiyopipi out while drunk

→ never regretted it though

→ her and aren get so drunk when they go out with the group

→ it’s honestly unreal how much they can drink before passing out

→ has to get carried home

→ wakes up after getting drunk and runs to her class before remembering it’s Sunday

→ her penthouse has the perfect view of the sunset and sunrise and is all she could ask for in life

→ does get lonely so she’s practically living with Chiyo and Aiura

→ once she realized she didn’t like boys she made it her goal to get Saiki and Aiura together

→ people wonder how she has so much time to play matchmaker and volunteer while she’s in premed

→ does her internship at a hospital

→ ends up working there as a neurosurgeon after her Doctorate degree

~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~

[fillorian-pocketwatch]

The Makings and Fate of Quentin Coldwater: What Were the Writers Thinking?

Trigger warnings: Quentin Coldwater, seasons 4 and (briefly) 5, mentions of suicide/suicidal ideation, outdated ideas about the purity of women.

General warnings: Spoilers for the show and the books.

Buckle up, darlings, and my apologies in advance: this is a rough ride, and I don’t recommend reading it if you aren’t in the right headspace for it right now.

I hope that those who do read it might drop some LGBTQIA+ positive book/tv recommendations in the comments as a pick-me-up for others. I will add some myself if I can think of some good ones.

So as it turns out, I ran into something entirely by accident: the inspiration behind the character of Quentin Coldwater.

I knew that Eliot and his "will-they-or-won't-they" dynamic with Quentin in the Magicians books were both borrowed from Evelyn Waugh's Brideshead Revisited (Grossman has said so himself)--

but I didn't realize there was an actual preexisting character Grossman borrowed from for Q:

Quentin Compson, from The Sound and the Fury.

This explains so much for me. So much.

I ran across information about the character the other day while doing something completely unrelated (looking up some other book if I recall correctly), and when I saw the similarity of the two names and then learned about the first Quentin’s fate, I thought, could this be LG’s inspiration?

Further research revealed that yes, Lev has said as much in articles. And even if he hadn’t, the fact that he has written extensively *about* TSatF online makes it a relatively easy conclusion to draw.

While the two Quentins aren't actually much alike (at least on the surface; I haven't read TSatF yet, just in-depth summaries/analyses of it)--other than the fact that they are both mentally ill over-achiever college students, are preoccupied with the idea of another world (the world as they each wish it was), and constantly associated with symbolic clocks and watches--Quentin Compson's fate explains everything for me in terms of how to understand Quentin Coldwater's series-four fate.

Quentin Compson ultimately kills himself in the famous classic novel; he does so by drowning after jumping off the Anderson Memorial Bridge in Boston, Massachusetts. Today there is a plaque there to commemorate the character:

In the Faulkner novel, Quentin associates the smell of honeysuckle with his obsessions over his sister’s purity--an ideal he comes to feel let down by after she loses her virginity and then seems to lose herself further in the company of men he feels are unsuitable.

I can’t help but make a parallel with the “drowned garden” of season 4, episode 12.

Quentin makes the following speech in the drowned garden, and as far as I’m concerned, it’s the closest thing we get to a suicide note:

You know the worst part of getting exactly what you want? When it's not good enough. Then what do you do? If this can't make me happy, then what would? Fillory was supposed to mean something. I was supposed to mean something here. But it's all... it's just... it's random. It's so random that the only way to save my friends is to yell at a fucking plant! Honestly, fuck Fillory for being so disappointing. You know what, maybe I was better off just believing that it was fiction. The idea of Fillory is what saved my life! [laughs.] This promise... that... people like me... [weeping] People like me... Can somehow... Find an escape. There has gotta be some power in that. Shouldn't loving the idea of Fillory be enough?

But the idea of Fillory is not enough, in the end, because the idea of happiness is also not enough. And by the end of his time on the show, that’s all Quentin has: the trappings of happiness (or at least the ones available to him, the ones he thinks might get him there), without the actual emotion.

Maybe he realizes, in the drowned garden, that he is at the end of his rope. Maybe that is where he decides to give up.

That, in my opinion, is why he begins to seem so shut down: it isn’t uncommon for people to distance themselves emotionally as a precursor to suicide (hence Jason being accused of “refusing to act” toward the end of S4).

I think it’s also why he doesn’t stop to wait and see how Eliot is after Margo strikes the Monster with the axes: he has given up on the idea that the things he thinks will make him happy actually will, or that happiness is actually attainable for him in the first place.

Quentin Coldwater drowns not in the fading of honeysuckle; for him it’s peaches and plums. In any case, he is definitely in over his head, and the water that spills out of the mirrors after his death feels like an homage to that literal drowning of his predecessor.

The TM writers found ways, as the show progressed, to tie the books back in to the show; the way they did it, however, was often roundabout to say the least. Their takes on how different plot points should occur, or be interpreted from book to screen, were usually close to abstract. They did do it, in many ways, but theirs was far from a faithful adaptation.

It fits, therefore, that they would tie The Sound and the Fury into S4 the way that it appears they did.

It also tells me something about how blame for their decision can be distributed, because either the showrunners:

a.) really did their research re: Compson and put together that this was the character that inspired Lev

or, as is much more likely, they:

b.) discussed it all with Lev himself--or LG was the one to broach the subject to see what sort of take they could spin.

Whatever the lead-in to the decision, I think three things combined to give them the idea for Q’s fate:

1. Quentin Compson;

2. Alice’s description, in the third book, of watching an old god kill herself to make way for a new world (which was when Umber and Ember emerged);

3. The following lines from The Magician’s Land: “The truly sad thing was that Ember actually wanted to do it. Quentin saw that too: He had come here intending to drown Himself, the way the god before Him had, but He couldn’t quite manage it. He was brave enough to want to, but not brave enough to do it. He was trying to find the courage, longing for the courage to come to Him, but it wouldn’t, and while He waited for it, ashamed and alone and terrified, the whole cosmos was coming crashing down around Him.

Quentin wondered if he would have been brave enough. He would never know. But if Ember couldn’t sacrifice himself, Quentin would have to do it for Him.”

So, it appears, the group of writers (LG included, however actively) apparently decided to take Quentin’s thought from book three and put him in exactly that position: make the choice, or fail to make the choice.

But the need for him to make that choice was never horribly convincing. They were very mistaken if they thought it was. And no matter what, it was ultimately a horrible, damaging idea. It hurt the audience, and it killed the show. The only sacrifice that was made was made in the name of ego and “clever writing” that the writers thought was edgy and risky in some desirable way.

[Quote from vulture.com]

It's not so deep.

What they did, ultimately, was borrow from more than one outdated work, and use those as excuses to do the wrong things re: mental illness and LGBTQIA+ representation:

Evelyn Waugh’s characters fail, once again, to live their lives and desires freely and openly (What a waste to rehash the long-denied dynamic from Brideshead Revisited only to deny it again);

Quentin Compson’s legacy of suicide and hopelessness lives on (and this is made all the more offensive when you learn that Compson’s suicide was based largely on ideas of spoiled purity which were solely the burden of women to uphold).

They took what could have been made right and beautiful and instead used their story to perpetuate the same sad old traditions of queerbaiting and Burying the Gays.

Tragedy is not more profound than happiness (just ask Quentin Coldwater). I'd argue that to make something really beautiful, you need to mend what's broken.

The world is a broken place. It's easy to break things here.

The worst thing they did to Q, by far, was to use the beautiful concept of minor mending against him like it was the fuse on a stick of dynamite: the thing he’d spent his whole life seeking--his specific field, his special skill in the actual real world of magic--was what he used to kill himself. He killed himself by *fixing something.* We need no further evidence that Q had given up hope.

What a terrible message, and what a slap in the face to viewers who put their trust in this atrocious writing.

And they did nothing to redeem themselves after the fact, either. If anything, they made it even worse, somehow:

Eliot, by the end of the show, has even less than he started with.

Eliot, apparently, is us: left without Q, stripped of the comfort of a world we thought we knew. Utterly let down by the writers who had the power to make things different.

I hate to end this on such a terrible note. So let me just say that if you were let down by the show, and you miss Q, you’re far from alone! I see you, and I hear you, and I share your pain.

TM got it all wrong. But I have faith that others will get it right.

And no matter what, in the last book, Quentin lives, and has nothing but a whole world of possibility open up before him.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Can you tell us more about Magnus's and Alec's biggest kinks?

what can i say except YEA BOI

i mean i do feel like this is a lil repetitive because i do talk about that frequently but you cant stop me from saying it again. i think orgasm delay/denial is huge for the both of them, although it's usually relatively short-term (a few hours if they're having sex directly, maybe a few days with like long pauses). Magnus loves feeling all needy and desperate, wet and squirming and begging, and Alec loves seeing Magnus like this under him, open and trusting and asking, begging for more. Alec can tie Magnus up and eat him out for hours, slowly and teasingly, tongue circling Magnus' clit steadily, not a lot of pressure, but unrelenting until he's squirming and trying desperately to thrust deeper against him, but unable to because of the ropes :') and he just gets lost in that good good subspace, floating in pleasure, as Alec runs his big hands through his body, makes him feel good, and makes him wait and want and ache for more

or if its a bit more long term...... i always think phone sex, Alec is in a trip for like two days and he won't be sleeping at home, so he tells Magnus not to touch himself before Alec is back. and Magnus is already wet just from hearing that request, all breathily going "yes, Master" and Alec smiles but kisses him, slowly but filthily, strokes his cheek with his thumb lightly, and then leaves. and all day Magnus is just on edge, feeling needy and excited and maybe he even whips out his collar to wear while he's at home to ground himself (on that topic: Magnus absolutely loves collars!! might elaborate later)

and then at night when Alec is at his hotel he calls Magnus and asks him how his day has been, and Magnus tells him how on edge he was, how excited and turned on, he's all breathless and saying he can't wait for Alec to be back, and Alec jerks off to that, teasing Magnus all the while, telling him all the things he wants to do to Magnus, but reminding him not to touch himself. and Magnus is just moaning and rocking slightly against the bed, needing something, but not getting it. and then once Alec comes, asks him how he is, makes sure he's fine and wants it to keep going, says that he loves him.. he hangs up and Magnus is just. aching for it all night. and then when he gets home the next day Magnus is waiting for him and dolled up and desperate and Alec makes him come until hes pretty much boneless under him, relaxed and happy and sated

on the topic of collars!! Magnus loves collars and thats a true canon fact and that's just how it is. i feel like they're kinda neutral to Alec (i mean he likes them, loves seeing Magnus wear them, especially one with his name on it, so he can draw Magnus closer and touch him all over and say that Magnus is his, his beautiful perfect pet slut... I'm getting sidetracked. anyway. he does like them, but he's not crazy about them like he is with other things) but you know since Magnus loves them of course he loves them. Magnus absolutely adores them, the texture, the feeling of being owned/belonging, the way they help him feel grounded and centered doing a scene, the light (obviously consensual) humiliation of wearing one. if he's teased long enough, he can come just from having the collar be put on, and when he does it's just the most beautiful thing. hmmmm

i think Alec definitely has a brat taming kink and even if Magnus doesn't per se, he doesn't mind acting bratty if it's gonna get Alec to fuck him hard and deep. it usually doesnt last long after like foreplay and stuff unless they're doing a lightly kinky version (like no edgy, collars, etc) because then he just wants to let go and submit, you know? but if it's lighter he definitely enjoys bantering with Alec and provoking him, getting Alec to snap and just give it to him. Alec is always great but he's also like. endlessly tender and loving and while that's obviously incredible, when Magnus wants Alec to just fuck him hard and rough? being bratty is the way to go

also obviously Magnus has a praise kink and Alec has a "praising Magnus" kink, he can spout poetry about him and his body for hours in bed, tie him up and absolutely worship his body as he tells Magnus every little thing he loves about his body, and Magnus is overwhelmed, blushing, and crying (good tears, happy, and he definitely doesn't want Alec to stop), but feeling so loved and adored like he never has, and like he deserves (and like Alec deserves to love and adore, too, because he loves Magnus so much he could burst from it sometimes, and he wants to express that as much as possible because he never thought he'd get to, okay). this is very emotionally loaded for the both of them, because Magnus cant even believe Alec at the beginning, instinctively shakes his head in negative because theres no way Alec sees him like this. but he does

Sorry for making it angsty udndjdndk but on a similar but lighter subject, i think Magnus absolutely gets turned on from being romanced. like when Alec goes all traditional courtship on him and gets him flowers and wears a suit and kisses the back of his hand, looking up at him with that intense lightwood stare? hes so fucking horny, man. and it takes him a while to even realize that, until one day Alec is like "Magnus, you know i dont romance you and take you on fancy dates just for sex, right?" and Magnus is like "hm? yeah" and Alec is like "well ok its just that every time we do it you kind of. jump on me" and Magnus is like hmmmmmmmm and alec's like "wait. does it turn you on?" and Magnus never thought about it but it makes sense and oh god it totally turns him on

so you know 🤷 whats a guy to do but bring that into play? and so they make this elaborate date in their loft, both of them in some fancy tuxes, maybe Magnus has a vibrator against his clit that Alec controls? and they have dinner, and slow dance, and all the time Alec is watching him with hungry eyes, playing with his vibrator, leaving lingering touches on him that have Magnus shivering and almost begging, but then Alec pulls away and pretends nothing's happened and fuck he loves it. and then when do finally skip the foreplay and get to business, Alec undresses him very slowly, taking his time, kissing every new inch of skin, being so delicate and careful with his beautiful boyfriend/princess. and again it's a little overwhelming for Magnus because its so tender but it's also perfect and he may or may not need like double the orgasms he usually does after such long, teasing foreplay

also theyre def into roleplaying sometimes and dressing up. i think Magnus is into some light feminization like being called Princess and whatnot, wearing panties, thigh highs, etc. i think theyre into exhibitionism, that Magnus loves creampies, that they both love cockwarming...... thats what Ive got djdndjdndi this ask is long enough as it is

also you know just to make sure that its said that all of this is totally consensual and doesnt mean anything about their relationship outside of the bedroom, and thats why it works. Magnus doesn't want to be below anyone and theyre always equals in their relationship and will never act like anything but. that's why they trust each other to do this in the bedroom in the first place. because they know that once it's over, they're back to being partners, and loving and caring and dorky like they always are. also there are always safewords and either of them can tap out, etc. just so there arent any doubts about that

[jcmorrigan]

Even Badasses Cry

The F/O? Giovanni Potage from Epithet Erased. The S/I? Rachel Scribere - mundie, writer of much fanfiction, independent contractor supervillainous minion who has also given up on adulting. (Most of those things apply to me IRL!) I’m now caught up through E6, and this was...blatantly inspired by E5. I mean, having written him comforting me during a breakdown, I wanted an excuse to flip it, but thanks to E5 breaking my heart, I had the perfect launching point. Also, timeline at this point is “You decide.” This doesn’t work with canon or postcanon so just...use your imagination for whatever.

***

           It was nice, that we had managed our own apartment. Sure, it was the bottom of the barrel as far as apartments went, but I was dying to prove my independence, and no disrespect to Mrs. P., but I felt Giovanni was a bit better off not having to yell back and forth with her five times a day.

           Also, I knew if I got in another shouting match with her, I wasn’t getting out of it with both Giovanni’s and my self-respect intact. Believe me, I know that your partner not getting along with your mom is The Worst, and that woman does not back down.

           Could I have done without the multiple flights of stairs and no elevator I had to hike every day? Sure, but I’d done a higher trek on my study-abroad in London. So long as I had the motor function of both legs, I’d be fine. Now, if I ever lost motor function of one or both legs, then we’d have to figure out a new plan.

           The stairs also gave a person ample time to sing whatever song was stuck in their head as they ascended, so by the time you got to the apartment itself, you’d have it out of your system and you wouldn’t look like a dork in front of your partner. However, being that my dorkness was already a known fact, I unlocked the door and swung it open while actually increasing my volume; “The paaaa-pers say! Johnny, won’t you come back home! But everybody knows you don’t! Wanna give yourself up; tell the truth and – “

           The apartment was dark, so of course, I had thought at first I’d beaten Giovanni home. When he stirred from the kitchen table, however, I was startled into halting the song, nearly dropping the grocery bag I held – my protective instincts regarding the carton of eggs taking over and forcing my grip to tighten.

           “Oh, COMPOSER!” He had been inexplicably sitting at the table in the dark, arms crossed on the tabletop and head down on them, until he became aware of my presence. Now, still in the dark, he scrambled up to his feet, leaning casually against the wall, crossing one ankle over the other. “Didn’t hear you coming up! Nice voice, by the way! Anybody ever tell you that?”

           “Is…there a reason you were sitting at the kitchen table alone in the dark?” I asked with trepidation, walking toward said table to deposit the eggs somewhere safe. I kicked the door shut behind me, which I failed to account for lowering the visibility in the room even further. “Hey, can you hit the lights?”

           “I dunno, I think this feels more atmospheric. Can’t you just feel the villain aesthetic brimming in this room of abysmal void?”

           “What I feel is the sense that I’m about to run into the fridge.”

           Which I proceeded to immediately do. That was, however, fortuitous, as I needed someplace to deposit the eggs and the produce I’d scored. I pried the door wide, beginning to unload the bag into organized compartments –

           And as the meager light poured into the apartment, Giovanni retreated from it, scurrying along the wall like a cockroach.

           Well.

           I stuffed the bag in the fridge and shut it; it could get sorted later. “Is something wrong?” I asked as I turned to make out his thin silhouette, padded with that fluffy sweater he so loved, in the dark.

           “Wrong?” He laughed nervously. “Why would anything be wro-ho-hong? No, noooooo, I’m just in a DARK and EDGY mood because I’m a VILLAIN. Every villain has to go through their serious phase!”

           “Okay,” I said with a shrug. I turned back to the fridge.

           Which was a feint. Before Giovanni could catch me, I had whipped around and smashed that light switch, illuminating the room.

           When I looked him in the eye, I could see exactly why he’d wanted those lights down. The skin around his eyes was pinkish-red, somewhat swollen. Either he’d had a very localized allergic reaction to something he had yet to identify, or…

           “Were you crying?”

           “NO!” He folded his arms and turned his face away from me. “I was definitely NOT CRYING! It just looks like I was…because…I got punched in the face!”

           “Gio, if something’s wrong, you can tell me. I’ll listen. That’s what I’m here for, you know.”

           I saw his lip quiver. Then his voice cracked; “They really did punch me in the face. They beat me up, all of them. About twenty of them.”

           I could practically feel my own heart hurting. “Rivals?”

           “No. Other Blasters.” He sniffled. “They all think I’m some kind of loser freak or something. They just don’t get it! Or…or maybe it’s because…” His chest began to shake. “B-because I am one – “

           I didn’t need to hear more. I rushed to close the distance between us, wrapping my arms suddenly and tightly around him, one on the waist, one on the upper back. He clung to me in return, no longer holding back, heaving sobs.

           “Oh, God, sweetie…” I said softly. “You’re not a freak or a loser.”

           “But even YOU say you love how much of a loser I am, and I know you mean it as a compliment, but – “

           “I’m sorry. There’s a big difference between being a garbage fuckup and not taking life too seriously, or being a little spacey. Trust me. I’m the garbage fuckup here. Not that I want pity. Shit. Don’t make this about me now. DO NOT MAKE THIS ABOUT ME NOW.”

           “I’m trying, Rachel…I’m really trying, and nothing fucking works out for me…”

           I froze. He was using my actual name. Which meant things were worse than I thought.

           I wriggled out of the embrace, taking his hand. “Come with me.”

           He followed obediently, as though lost in the wilderness and trusting the guidance of a will-o’-the-wisp, until I brought him to the couch and sat down on it. For this, I would need him to have less of a height advantage on me, so I patted the cushion beside me, encouraging him to sit down. He did, still gasping as teardrops trickled down his cheeks.

           “Look at me,” I told him, softly yet firmly.

           “I don’t wanna,” he protested. “It’s bad enough already. Now you’re seeing me having a breakdown – “

           “Everyone has breakdowns, Gio. This is okay. You’re still an awesome badass. But I need you to look at me.”

           He pivoted to face me, slowly, gingerly, trying to stop crying cold-turkey to put on a show for me.

           I reached out, taking his face into my hands. “I love you so much,” I told him, then began the treatment process.

           First, tugging his head downward so I could kiss his forehead, right between the brows. Then delivering a line of kisses down each cheek in turn. A few along either side of his jawline. Then, finally, on the lips – he was far more passive than usual; I couldn’t feel the light prick of his fangs on my lower lip.

           As I backed off from his face, I put a hand up, palm out, to his chest. “Can I?”

           “Y…yeah…”

           I lay it right over his heart. It was something of a shared secret between us – a spot on his body he worried about, sometimes, because it still protruded slightly, giving away that it used to look much larger and softer and not at all like how he wanted his body to be. This was our arrangement, my reassurance that it wasn’t a flaw on him.

           “Does it still hurt?” I asked.

           “Yes,” he choked. “Emotionally AND physically. This is helping, though.”

           “Okay.” I was getting another idea. “Then follow me.”

           I lay back, stretching across the couch, and I tugged his forearm to bring him down with me. He obeyed, lying somewhere on the overlap between beside-me and atop-me, his head nestling into the hollow of my neck on my right shoulder. I was still shorter than him, so I supposed this would look comical to an outsider, me trying to play a horizontal sort of big-spoon with his legs dangling far past where my own ended. Here, I just let him be, not asking anything of him, just stroking a hand over his hair, down onto his back, over and over again.

           “They’re all pieces of shit,” I assured him. “Give me a list of names and I’ll annihilate them.”

           We knew it was an empty threat. I still didn’t have blood on my hands. I wasn’t sure if I ever would – but more frighteningly, I had the suspicion that the capacity was inside me, and I wasn’t sure how he would feel if it ever came out. But that wasn’t today’s topic.

           He didn’t say anything, just giving another choking sniffle. “It’s okay,” I told him. “Just get it out. It’ll get better. I promise.”

           “I w-wasn’t supposed to break down like this.”

           “It’s seriously okay. It’s just you and me. You’ll be able to come at them again swinging in a few hours.” I sighed. “I hate them. So goddamn much. Thinking about you getting pummeled makes me so goddamn mad – “

           I realized I had knotted my fingers into his hair and was pulling the locks rather hard out of frustration. Immediately, I let go. Well, that was a rather frightening thing I hoped wouldn’t happen again. I was angry because he’d been hurt; I certainly didn’t want to end up hurting him worse.

           “I have to stop talking about it,” I admitted, planting that hand firmly on his back, drawing circles with my palm. “Or else I’m gonna punt a chair into orbit.”

           “I just felt so…so fucking helpless…”

           “God, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry – “

           My free arm came up to wrap over him, keeping him tight against me. Protectively.

           “You’re amazing,” I whispered. “You’re beautiful. And you’re not a garbage fire. Don’t even think about it. Please. Just…let this be it. You and me. You’re safe here.”

           It was barely audible: “Thank…you…”

           “No. Thank you.”

           I placed another kiss on his forehead.

           Words were spent. We stayed like that for half an hour, lying adjacent, sharing the burden.

[autumnfanfiction]

17.

Chris had Robyn pinned on the floor, and they were sharing a sensual kiss. She was getting wet by the second by this alluring man that she was falling more in love with as the days went by. His hands were cruising her body, and the more his smooth hands grazed her sweet spots, the more enticed she became. She gazed intensely into his brown eyes, the color of rich soil flecked with black. She could stare into his eyes forever, especially while they were making love. There was just something about his eyes that made her want to devour him and submit to him all the same. He cupped her pussy in his hand and rubbed his slickness all over her, coating her outer lips and massaging them.

"You're so wet, Robyn." He whispered against her lips. Her hips began to subconsciously move in tiny circles as his words and touch ignited the fire of delirium he goaded with the thrusts of his dick. She wanted to come at that moment. She needed to. He had been teasing her ever since the proposal, rubbing his hands over the thin cotton underwear she wore, sticking his hand inside when they reached the elevator and were away from prying eyes. She was hot and ready for him, and she knew she wouldn't be able to withstand waiting any longer.

"I'm gonna make you cum all over the place." He put the slightest pressure against her sensitive folds, barely pressing, her hips arching into his touch. Anticipation was making her hot. Her hips shifted as he began to lubricate her gently. The pressure she felt became more and more insistent. He rimmed her over and over. A soft moan escaping her lips desperately wanting more. He pushed deeper and she clenched around him. He withdrew again, gliding deeper. Leaning forward, she thrust her hips back to give him more access and pressed her breasts against his chest. He held her head and gave her a kiss.

"Fuck... Chris... you feel so good." He licked across her lips, and she felt like her head was spinning. He slid in, giving her every inch, their position making it easy for deeper penetration. His hips nudged against hers, the wide crest of his dick massaging her overly sensitive tender spot. Robyn felt her senses overloaded with Chris' body heat and the feel of his dick rubbing inside her. She dug her nails into his back as his movements ramped up. Chris pulled back and moved his dick back inside her to the very end. While the pad of his thumb was on her pulsating clit. If he made those movements again she surely would orgasm. And he did it again. Her head fell back "Chris." Was all she could say before his name got caught in her throat. He grunted softly and started coming, his dick jerked as it pumped thick spurts of cum into her.

-

It was early in the morning, their window was open, and the crisp Autumn wind was blowing inside the room. Their legs were tangled, hand entwined. Robyn rested on his chest drawings circles on his skin. She loved tracing all his tattoos and looking at all of them. He was like a walking work of art with all the tattoos he had including the ones he got done during their first few days in Paris. They agreed upon getting several matching tattoos together, and with the new ink, it added an edgy side to his sweet nature.

"Reeses?"

"Hmm?"

"What do you think it would be like to grow old together?" She folded her arms against his chest and propped her chin on it waiting on his response.

"Both of us old sitting on the porch of our dream house in rocking chairs watching our kids and grandkids. I'll be changing your diaper because I love you and make you oatmeal. You'd have saggy titties. We'd be married for like 55 years. Oh, and I'd take you out to feed the pigeons. And we'd still have lots of sex. Turn you inside out, deep dicking you at night and long stroking you again in the morning."

Robyn laughed. "Wow, Chris. I should've never shown you that video. You won though."

"What you mean?"

"Like you'll be really chubby and meaty–––" Chris gave her a side eye. "No, I won't." "Like real thick. And you'll have a hunchback, but I'll still think you look sexy. We'd slow dance at night in our living room with vinyls playing. And we'd go wheelchair racing on the weekends."

"I would not be chubby. Fuck around and put you in a wheelchair for real. Have you arch your spine and give you paralysis."

"Pssshhh I'd pop this pussy on you so good give your ass a heart attack and a stroke. Send your old ass straight to Jesus."

They both shared hearty laughs their smiles wide and radiant.

"Poor Mama. Our kids are gonna give her a headache because they take after you."

"Hey, Mama raised me right."

"With the way you are? I don't think it was Mama that raised you. I was raised, you were dragged."

"That was a good one."

"Chris?"

"Yes, Robyn?"

"What do you think our wedding will be like?"

"Anything you want it to be. All I know is when it's time for us to go, we're doing the Fusion dance to indicate that we're one."

"We're not doing that Chris."

"Why not?"

"This is not Dragon Ball Z. We are not in an anime, Chris."

"It'd be cute."

"You're not cute Chris."

"Fu-sion-ha!"

"Goodnight Chris." He laughed before kissing her lips. He buried his nose in her curls and felt at peace. There was nothing better than this, and even though they couldn't actually grow old together, it was good thinking about the possibility. At least they would have children to live on their family name––– they both discussed it, and Robyn had doubts about having kids even though she wanted them. Being there for them was important and no matter what she knew they would be.

-

The next year went by in a whirlwind. Robyn and Chris got married on New Years Day not wanting to wait longer. The ceremony was absolutely beautiful, being set on the beach of Barbados. Chris' family was in attendance and surprisingly childhood friends of Robyn's and Robyn's Father. She didn't know he was there until he surprised her when she was about to walk down the aisle. It was clear that Chris knew and he was the one who searched for him. He started when they were at the hospital with the help of Dolly, it was difficult, but he was able to track him down. He was a recovering drug addict and alcoholic, leaving Robyn's Mother because he didn't want to be a danger to her and their baby. He had battled his demons and seemed to be clean, and that's when he returned for the duration of the pregnancy. It was the night that she died after giving birth that he relapsed. Dolly decided it was best for Robyn if he stayed away and he did, but she told him he was always welcomed to come back when he got back on track. That didn't happen for 25 years, but now he was sober, clean, and healthy as ever. Robyn accepted him for open arms and was just happy he was alive. He walked her down the aisle and gave her away to Chris, and they said their vows, which brought everyone to tears.

Robyn discovered she was pregnant soon after and learned she would be giving birth to twins. 9 months later their babies came into the world healthy and happy. Their son came into the world first, at 7 pounds and they named him after Chris to start the legacy of his name to be passed down. He was a spitting image of his Father from the dimples, freckles, and brown eyes. Their daughter came next at 6 pounds and 8 ounces. Robyn asked Chris to name her and he chose the name, Genesis Clara Brown. Genesis because she was their first daughter and would be the root of their love and Clara in honor of Gran Gran Dolly. She was exactly like her Mother with the dimples coming from Chris. It was like staring at their own reflection in baby form.

Robyn was holding their son while Chris had their daughter. Robyn couldn't believe she birthed these two bundles of joy, but she was happy she got the opportunity to have children and that the man next to her was the father. Robyn cooed at their daughter before returning her attention towards their son. He was definitely Chris Jr. and the question the old woman asked her when she was in Paris rang in her head, "Would you be proud to have a son like him?" If little Chris turned out to be exactly like his Father, she knew that their daughter would be safe, and life would be a joy with him around. She looked down at him and watched as his eyes opened. She held her heart and placed a kiss on his forehead, which caused the little boy to smile slightly.

"Hi Baby, I'm your Mommy. I just want you to know that I love you, and your sister so much and loved you long before you were born. I'm going to protect both of you even when I'm not here. You remind me of your Daddy, and that means Mommy is going to have to keep the girls away," she paused seeing the sparkle in his eyes and laughed. "Okay, little troublemaker. But, I also know because you'll be like your Daddy your sister will be safe. Promise me you'll protect her and Grandma?" He just gave her a dimpled smile, and she kissed his dimple. "Chris, you have some strong competition. He's so cute, and he looks just like you."

He smiled over at his wife before looking at his son. "I know it's crazy." He brushed his hand on his twin's face and looked back over at Robyn. "Thank you, you made my life good when I met you. Made it great when you agreed to marry me. Made it amazing when we got married, and now you've made my life better by blessing me with them."

Chris didn't know he was crying until Robyn was wiping his face. He held his daughter close to his heart and cradled her head. He couldn't stop looking at her, and when she yawned and opened her eyes, he felt like he had fallen in love all over again. Her eyes were so much like her Mother's. "Hi," he said softly and waved. Genesis gave him a smile, and he felt like crying again. "I'm your Daddy. You look just like your Mommy, and that's a beautiful thing because that's what your Mommy is, but that's bad because little icky boys will be all over you and Daddy doesn't want that." Her eyes sparkled at him, and he squinted. "Don't even think about it. You'll be wearing church dresses everywhere with the old lady church fruit basket hats and coke bottle glasses to match every outfit."

She gave him a little whine in response, and Chris and Robyn laughed. "She doesn't agree with you, Daddy."

"Well she has no choice but to," he looked back at his daughter and smiled. "I'll make every moment count spending time with you and your brother. I love you, Buttercup."

"Hey, I thought that was my name."

"It might be hers now. I can call you Buttermilk since you'll be breastfeeding." Robyn stared at him in shock and Chris laughed. He heard his twin make a sound, which caused their attention to go to him. "See little Chris agrees with me."

"I have nothing to say to you Christopher, trying to corrupt my little baby."

"You know it was funny."

"I'm going back to tend to my son. Hopefully, he won't be annoying like you."

"You said yourself he's my twin just like Princess here is yours. It's inevitable that he'll be annoying even though it's clear he's a Mama's boy."

Robyn nodded. "He takes after his Father."

"You're not funny."

"Yes, I am. You're funny too, funny looking that is. That's good because that means our twins will be funny, and I won't be spending the rest of our time here fake laughing in our home."

Chris looked at her with nothing but love in his eyes. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"Same thing I did to deserve you."

"Which was?"

"I don't know," she paused as they both laughed. "But hey, God must've had a plan because if we ended up with other people, they wouldn't be able to handle us."

Chris pressed his lips on hers before saying, "Well, I'm glad because I like getting handled by you."

"Chriiiiiis not in front of the babies."

"You gonna give me some more kids?"

"One more wouldn't hurt."

"I love you, Buttercup."

"I love you too Reeses."

[youngboy-oldmind]

ALBUM REVIEW: Revival

“It’s true, I’m a Rubik’s. A beautiful mess/At times juvenile yes. I goof and I jest/A flawed human I guess”

Detroit legend and highest-selling rapper of the decade, Eminem, releases his eighth (ninth if you count Infinite) album Revival: a project that is over hated, yet plagued with cringey lyrics, inconsistency, and an excessive runtime (77 minutes), propelling his decline and mainstream hate that’s haunted him since the late 2000s.

Overall thoughts

I say this with pain because I genuinely think this project could’ve been comparable to Jay-Z’s 4:44. Both rappers have been successful since the 90s and they both know their best is behind them. However, Jay-Z hit the mark where Eminem vastly missed. BUT, this isn’t a review of 4:44. Unfortunately, this is a review of Eminem’s controversial 2017 project: Revival.

Revival misses the mark for several reasons. First, the songs he chose for pre-release singles turned off fans from the jump. He pre-released “Walk on Water”, which captured the interest of fans who appreciate Eminem’s calmer, more introspective side. However, his second single release “Untouchable” made me hesitant to expect this album to revive Eminem’s career. This song isn’t strong enough to headline the album. At best, it’s a little annoying. And at worse, its skippable in 60 seconds. Furthermore, it was a political song, so any listeners that disagreed with his message immediately disassociated from the project.

Second, his lyricism is weak throughout the album, downright offensive at some points. Not offensive like its edgy or has shock value. Offensive like I can’t believe he made me listen to such shtty similes and metaphors. Contenders for the worst lines include but are not limited to:

“Instinctive nature to bring the anguish to the English language/ With this ink you haters get rode on (wrote on), like a piece of paper”

“I’m looking at your tight rear like a sight seer/ Your booty is heavy duty, like diarrhea”

“I just bodied the beat, so that hole must’ve been dug/Cause it just died, like food coloring does”

Along with weak metaphors, he also uses his signature play-on-words style to create painstaking lines such as

“The plan’s to bring her to my house/You’re drinking Jack and Beam, I’m thinking soon this tramp’ll lean (trampoline) so we can bounce”

“From the first time I saw you, I actually/Said to myself, ‘I gotta meet her’ (meter) like a taxi”

“I ask does she want a computer lodged in her vagina/Said my dick is an apple, she said put it inside her (in cider)”

Some of the vocal performances were painful as well. On “Chloraseptic” and “Untouchable”, he straight up lets out ridiculous drawn out yells. I have difficulty accepting that the producer of those tracks and long-time friend of Eminem, Denaun, heard him make those noises and didn’t tell him on how bad it sounds.

Third, and most importantly, Eminem’s tone is extremely inconsistent throughout the project. I wouldn’t be as critical towards the goofy songs if Eminem set and maintained one tone. He began the album with “Walk on Water”, discussing the stress of constant scrutiny and how unrealistic expectations make him doomed to fall short. This is a great topic to talk about as someone who was 18 years into his fame. But then, he begins topic ping-pong for almost an hour, switching back and forth between maturity and childishness, (with some high spots that I’ll discuss later). You cannot complain that people stress you out with high expectations, and then make songs that’s just punchlines revolving around breasts, butts, and vulgar sex.

Logic has great examples of priming your expectations and tones. He makes it clear when a project is a concept piece, like Incredible True Story or Everybody, or when he’s just having fun, like Bobby Tarantino I & II. Because Eminem keeps switching between serious songs and dumb songs, it makes everything seem disingenuous. For example, on the song “Like Home”, he basically rips Donald Trump a new one, going so far as to compare him to Hitler. But on the song “Heat” he makes a joke that he agrees with Donald Trump that women’s privates are supposed to be grabbed, which is why “they call it a snatch”. You can’t criticize the president in one song and then agree with them in the next, even if you’re joking. You can have fun songs and serious songs, but they should keep the album’s tone consistent.

Okay, I’m done criticizing, cause there are some great things about this album. “Walk on Water” was a great intro to the album. “River” is great collab between Ed Sheeran and Eminem. While the content of “Remind Me” is unremarkable, Rick Rubin delivers on the beat, creating an entertaining chorus that samples Joan Jett and the Blackhearts’ “I Love Rock n Roll”. I will give credit to “Offended”, which is ambitious to say in the least. I skipped it on first listen but it actually grew on me. And of course, the final two tracks “Castle” and “Arose” are the album’s peak.

If Eminem would’ve shaved the track list to 9 songs instead of 19, weeding out the childish/forgettable songs and making it more tonally consistent, this album would be much better. My ideal Revival album would be:

1. Walk on Water

2. Believe

3. River

4. Like Home

5. Tragic Endings

6. Nowhere Fast

7. Offended

8. Castle

9. Arose

This would bring the runtime down to 40 minutes instead of 77 minutes. At 45 years old, 8 albums into his career and 18 years in the game, Eminem doesn’t have 77 minutes’ worth of material to talk about. And it shows.

I mentioned earlier that this project is over hated. Although there are things I strongly dislike about this project, it isn’t nearly as bad as media and music reviewers describe it. Two of his previous projects, Encore and Relapse, were much worse than Revival. I think it’s an exaggeration to call Revival the worst of his career, but it is definitely indication of a decline.

Album Breakdown

“Walk on Water” ignites the album with an emotional piano ballad, Beyonce’s beautiful vocals on the chorus, and Eminem’s surprisingly self-exposing verses. He talks about the pain of having a section of hip hop disregard him, while having another section constantly hold him to a standard he feels like he��ll never reach again. It’s more melodramatic than what I expect from an Eminem song, especially the dramatic pause at the beginning of the first verse where he dramatically asks “why.........?”. Seeing Eminem express vulnerability instead of constantly acting like a god gave me hope.

But then...I heard the last 5 seconds, and I knew I was in trouble.

“Cause I’m just a man/

But as long as I got a mic I’m godlike/

So me and you are not alike/

B***h, I wrote ‘Stan’”

This transitions into “Believe”, a track that carries on the topic from the previous song but establishes that he is not self-conscious and knows he’s superior in the rap game, asking the audience if THEY believe in him. It’s disappointing to see him abandon vulnerability so quickly. It took five minutes and four seconds for Eminem to backtrack and basically say “Nah, I can reach every height. You guys just need to believe in me”. Like he’s blaming critics and fans for his decline, not his skills or style. I did not care for this shift. And speaking of shifts, we hear Eminem’s first attempt at a trap beat, which sounds off with his rapping style. He’s constantly taking odd pauses to squeeze in rhyme schemes. Not the worst song, but already starting the contradictions to the initial tone of the album.

Eminem’s second attempt at a trap beat, “Chloraseptic”, was painful. I can’t sugar coat it. Half of the time I had no clue what he was saying, and the half that I could understand had no substance. He mocks Migos’ style, using adlibs, shouts, and voice bites that make him sound old and desperate to fit in modern trap music. Over his career, Eminem’s best tracks have either a rock sample or a piano melody. But this is clear evidence that very few Eminem tracks should be trap songs.

As I mentioned earlier, “Untouchable” was released early as a single. This song was painful because I knew what he was going for. So it sucks to be distracted by the subpar delivery. The rock guitars and harmonized vocals in the chorus hit my ears too hard, making me wince and decrease the volume at the chorus. Eminem’s verses have him shouting/teasing “white boy, white boy” “black boy, black boy” which is too immature for someone of his status and stature. And there’s a line in the first verse where he says “then we wonder why we see this side of youuuuuuuuuuuu”, drawing out the last word in this painful, awful voice that definitely should’ve been scrapped. In the second half of the song, the instrumental switches from a hard rock sample to a piano melody that illustrates a sense of anxiety. Also, in the last verse, he switches perspectives and talks as a black person under systematic oppression. While I appreciate the effort, it doesn’t really translate into anything emotionally because his solutions to these problems are shallow.

He talks about police brutality and systemic racial issues. The problem is it’s all surface level. Someone with his age and experience should be able to add more to the discussion. But he comes through with messages like “We need to hire black cops and stop putting cops in neighborhoods they are unfamiliar with. This country was built on slaves. It’s unfair Kaepernick got hate for kneeling during the national anthem. Racial profiling is the cause of violence”. These are things I was able to articulate as a middle schooler. But he delivers these thoughts like he’s speaking from the woke-est perspective the world’s ever seen. When in reality, there are tweets that hold more substance. And because of this, Eminem’s yelling doesn’t feel like anger. It just feels loud and misguided.

Fortunately, we then transition to one of the stronger songs on the album, “River”. He discusses a toxic relationship filled with cheating, lies, and an abortion. Eminem has always delivered good bad-relationship songs, so I’m not surprised another one is one of the best on the album. Ed Sheeran’s singing on the chorus is dope, especially at the end when the instruments drop at the end and Sheeran’s tender vocals cap off the track. Cannot complain; its easily the best track so far.

“Remind Me” is the first goofy track on the album. Eminem is taking a break from serious topics like meeting other’s expectations, success and failure, police brutality, and a devastating relationship, to talk about a girl with “implants so big” she could hang him up on her rack, with her “big ol’ tits”. This song is only tolerable because Rick Rubin’s sample was fun to hear. Otherwise, this song is unbearable.

“Like Home” is his next political song. He takes a patriotic stance while criticizing President Trump. And that’s about it. Pretty much a diss track where he spent 8 lines setting up a Hitler punchline and then calling Americans to unite against Trump. Alicia Keys sings the chorus but its nothing heart stopping. Definitely one of the more forgettable songs simply because it wasn’t painful to listen to.

The thing about bad songs or forgettable songs is that if you string too many together, they become more difficult to tolerate. So I’m coming off the heels of the annoying “Remind Me” and forgettable “Like Home”, when I get to “Bad Husband”. Here, he’s talking about how bad he was to Kim, his ex-wife. This song seems good on paper, but two things make it bad: X Ambassadors on the chorus and X Ambassadors on the chorus. X Ambassadors and Eminem do not fit well. Their loud style doesn’t fit the quiet, soft vocals that Eminem implements. It’s also hard to take Eminem’s apology seriously. On the chorus, X Ambassadors call him a 1) lord 2) good father 3) good dad 4) great father. No genuine apology contains repeated self-appraisal. Imagine if someone hits you with their car and says “Wow, I’m such a bad driver. I’m a great manager. Great parent to my kids. I donate to the local homeless shelter. And I baby sit for free. But I’m such a bad driver.” Is that really an apology?

And to that note, I’d take being hit by a car over hearing X Ambassadors on the chorus.

“Tragic Endings” picks up the album. Skylar Grey is amazing on the chorus. The entire song sounds like a sister of “Love the Way You Lie”. This talks about a toxic relationship with someone who doesn’t encourage him. I’m not surprised he once again hits a high point with a bad relationship song. Eminem’s verses are alright, and the instrumentation carries the same tragic-ness that surrounds the content of his verses. Skylar Grey and Eminem have collaborated on multiple songs over the years and they tend to compliment each other well.

Side note: There’s a curse in this album that’s wreaking havoc. After a certain number of bad songs, my appreciation for a song comes from the fact that it doesn’t make me want to take off my headphones. I’m approaching every song with “it can’t get worse than its already gotten”.

Then it got worse... “Framed”. With an instrumental possessing a western, cowboy-saloon vibe and a chorus that creates a “cowboy please shoot me in the head and end it all, this album is torture” vibe, “Framed” is a storytelling track where Eminem is framed for a murder. Apparently, some of his gruesome lyrics are so incriminating that he could be considered a suspect for a murder. Now, I love story telling tracks. One of my favorite records of all time is The Great Adventures of Slick Rick. But Eminem is too old and passed the point of his career where associating with assault, kidnapping, or murder is entertaining and/or interesting. It was shocking in 1999 when he talks about dumping his wife in a pier so he can be with his child without her interference. I would never condone that, but I was highly attentive. But 18 years later, saying you have Ivanka Trump in the back of your car is just creepy. Definitely the worst song on the album.

“Nowhere Fast” features Kehlani on the chorus and exciting violin strings that accompany Eminem’s commentary on the rap game. Kehlani is definitely talented, but I don’t think her style matches Eminem. Overall the song is middle of the road. Not horrible, not amazing.

Now that he’s dissed Trump, talked about a bad relationships, his “killer” lyrics, and the rap industry, it’s time to go back to a fun song and make more jokes about butt & boob implants. “Heat” is very similar to “Remind Me”. They both use a rock and roll sample and discuss the same shallow content. The sample isn’t as entertaining as “Remind Me”, so that makes it harder to tolerate the excessive double entendres and play on words just to illustrate offensive commentary on a woman. I try not to overuse quotes, but I had to save the worst line.

“Girl, you’re just gonna have to put them other chumps on the back burner/You got buns, I got Asperger’s (Ass burgers)”

I mentioned earlier that this next track “Offended” grew on me over time. The issue with tonally switching back and forth is it’s difficult to tell how seriously Eminem takes himself. How can I know Eminem is actually self-conscious about others’ expectations of him, when he immediately calls himself godlike and makes multiple songs about boob jobs? Here, Eminem makes it clear he is trolling and wants to offend and irritate a hater. Once I understood that, I was able to just enjoy it as a dumb track. The instrument is fun and bouncy, and the chorus is extremely childish, but purposely done so that it’s hard to criticize it seriously.

I can sum up the next two tracks, “Need Me” and “In Your Head” as forgettable. “Need Me” is another track about a toxic relationship ft. P!nk’s amazing vocals. Although the ratio of P!nk to Eminem on the song makes me think it should’ve been a P!nk song featuring Eminem. And on “In Your Head” Eminem simply describes his displeasure with past decisions, the most notable part of the song being The Cranberries sample on the chorus, which ended up being wasted on a take it or leave it track.

“Castle” comes outta left field as a MAJOR upgrade from the rest of the album. It almost feels like it belongs on a different album completely. The chorus is slow building with these subtle organ keys and a bassline where the instrumental doesn’t quite kick in but it hints at a explosion about to occur. Liz Rodrigues on the chorus helps Eminem deliver this song; a series of letters that Eminem writes to his daughter, apologizing for things in her life that are impacted by him and his decisions. They’re written in 1995, 1996, and 2007.

The first verse talks about his excitement about having a new baby daughter. The second verse talks about his failed album Infinite and how he’s not sure how he’s going to provide for them, but he’s stumbled onto an idea (The Slim Shady LP, which thrusted him into mainstream success). The third verse is in 2007, where he states his guilt for her life being thrusted in public light, his distaste for fame, his pills addiction. During that time, Eminem was suffering from drug addiction and nearly died from an overdose. The song ends with him taking pills and audibly collapsing onto the floor.

“Arose” picks up where “Castle” leaves off. Eminem talks over a piano ballad and an echo-ey drum that makes you feel like you’re in an empty dark room. Eminem is currently in the ER hooked up to life support machines, talking about the things he’ll miss if he dies in the hospital bed. Amongst other goodbyes, he tells his daughters to take care of each other and he’ll always be in their memory. Truly heart wrenching. But as he says goodbye to everybody, he suddenly fights to stay alive, his heart starts beating, and he recovers. As he recovers, he mentions rewinding the tape of time. Rewinding to before he made the mistake of overdosing.

Then, in an expert display of technical skill and creativity, the track rewinds to the instrumental for “Castle”, and Eminem delivers a final verse that has a much more “onward and forward”, positive outlook. It brings tears to my eyes every time I listen to it. He describes shredding the old letters and not letting the past hold him back. And that the first half of the song is what he would’ve wrote to his daughters if he had made it 2 hours later to the hospital, which is about how long the doctor said he would’ve lived if he hadn’t checked in. In this masterpiece of a closer, Eminem connects back to the concept of reviving. Without question, the best song on the album and the best outro of any Eminem album

Final Thoughts

The Intro “Walk on Water” and outros “Castle”/”Arose” feel like they belong on a completely separate album; they’re totally different from the tracks that encompassed the middle. So while those three are great, the album ultimately suffers from inconsistent themes and messages. If Eminem would’ve stuck with vulnerability and maturity, this album would’ve been great. Overall, the project isn’t horrible. But besides the few high points, I’m disappointed.

Top 3 Songs:

1) Arose

2) Castle

3) River

Overall Grade: C-

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Gotham 4x03: A Liveblog

It’s that time of the week again. Hoo boy. I have a sneaking suspicion my son gets thawed this episode and... PHEW, body is not ready. But, here we sure go.

TL;DR - Why.

Question: why does Arabia 125 A.D. look like an edgy production of Les Miz? Just saying

Into the Resurrection Pond! Because... y’know... that’s a thing. That is... Clearly how resurrecting is done. It all totally makes sense now

What is this, divine amniotic fluid? Also why are his clothes gone? He definitely had clothes when he went in. Why did the pond dissolve his clothes but heal his body? ...wut?

I... I don’t... old guy, you’ve explained officially nothing. Nothing here makes sense. What the fuck.

We have a fancy sword now, that’s ALL I’m taking away from this.

BTW, this is a show about Batman

I wonder what the mysterious crates Penguin’s shipping contain

Meanwhile in... Spain? Mexico? Is this what Falcone meant when he said “a place down South”? I thought he meant like... fucking Jersey, not south of the border XDDD

Anyway, meanwhile Jim is here in this tonal departure of a location to get his head shot off

Oh jesus fuck and there’s ALREADY ANOTHER LOVE INTEREST? FUCK EVERYTHING. WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS, ALWAYS STUBBORNLY, OBSESSIVELY SHUNTING JIM INTO EVERY HETERO SHIP THAT COMES ALONG? I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE IS, SHE’S JUST SOME CHICK RIDING A HORSE, BUT GIVEN THE WAY THIS SHOW RUNS, SHE’S PROBABLY FALCONE’S DAUGHTER OR GRAND NIECE OR SOME BULLSHIT AND JIM WILL HAVE YET ANOTHER DOOMED ROMANCE WITH HER IN THE EYES OF PAPA FALCONE WHO IS COMPLETELY HIS DAD SUBSTITUTE. JESUS.

Please get a NEW FUCKING PLOT Gotham

Unrelated: Margot Verger flashbacks, but this show 1) would never and 2) Does Not Deserve Margot. They Could Never.

STOP LOOKING AT HORSE GIRL OH MY GOD, Why is my life suffering.

YUP. CALLED IT. FUCKING CALLED IT. HIS DAUGHTER. GUESS WHO JIM’S NEXT RELATIONSHIP IS WITH GUYS? I hate myself, I hate this show. Fuck you all.

Godddddd and she’s the heir to the throne, wants to take over the family business... Fuck. This. Fuck This. Fuck everything. I hate this show.

I’ll miss you Papa Falcone, I’m so sorry you couldn’t help us this time and instead enabled a TERRIBLE subplot that I already fucking HATE. HATE SO MUCH.

“A real crime”? because muggings aren’t real crimes? Great, I’ll inform the government of that shall I? Tell them to stop breathing down my neck when I pirate music. Just because Selina was there Bruce doesn’t make it a better crime than any other. If you go after only big fish, buddy, you’ll become like Jim. Don’t do that shit Bruce. Don’t do that.

Alfred on point today, at least

Zsasz you beautiful angel, you vinyl wearing freak, I love you so much, you’re the only one I love, all the rest of them are trash. I only love you.

Talking to the ice block,mmmhmmm, mmmmmmhmmm, called it. Things going swimmingly for Nygmobblepot, as per usual

That’s uh... this is uh... uhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Who The Fuck?

Also you’re... you’re fucking kidding me. You’re fucking kidding me. A blowtorch. You’re going to melt him with A blowtorch. I... I’m. You’re SURE there isn’t a master power switch that would defrost him WAY faster than this? Because... y’know, if he’s STAYING in the ice at room temperature I uh... I’m PRETTY sure he’s hooked up to some cooling vents to... y’know. Keep him in the ice. So... this whole SINGLE blow torch rescue is... I want to say futile but it’s actually WAY more idiotic than that.

Holy fuck.

Also also WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU. You’re looking at Ed like you want to sit on his face and I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU BEFORE IN MY LIFE WHICH MEANS ED HASN’T EITHER. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY DO YOU HAVE THIS TERRIBLE, ILL-ADVISED, SUICIDAL CRUSH ON HIM? IF OSWALD DOESN’T MURDER YOU, ED WILL, TRUST ME, THERE IS NO SCENARIO HERE WHERE YOU GET OUT ALIVE. HOLY FUCK YOU WERE NOT AROUND FOR SEASON 3. HOLY FUCK WOMAN WHY DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH AN ICEBERG, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

...Zsasz do you know something about this my sweet cream puff? Or are you just amused by Oswald ‘I’m Totally Over Ed Nygma’ Cobblepot screaming at you? I mean, both are fair, both are completely fair.

And I REALLY FEEL I MUST POINT OUT THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY SHE MELTED ED THAT FAST UNLESS SHE TURNED OFF THE FREEZER THAT WAS KEEPING HIM THERE. NO FUCKING WAY. Because, my dear friends, if she didn’t, then the water would have refrozen into harder ice before she could even make a dent. That’s literally how ice sculpture works, to get that nice, smooth, hard finish, you melt the ice and refreeze it and you do it over and over again to get the shape you want. UNLESS she turned off the frost on him, with ONE blowtorch there’s NO FUCKING WAY she got him melted in the SCANT HOURS Oswald was gone. FUCK THIS SHOW. WHY DID I HAVE A BETTER PLAN TO GET HIM OUT OF THE ICE THAN YOU DID?

Ohhhhh god you’re... a fucking psycho. oh god. Just what this needed.

I... I guess you’re the Harley Quin of this show... I... Mmm. mmm. this. this sure is happening. this sure is a thing.

I see we quick taught Bruce how to talk like a dock worker

Everyone needs an accent coach, I guess

Fancy knife makes a reappearance! The plot-relevant fancy knife!

Oswald’s coping with Ed being missing pretty well, all things considering. Also, interesting... belt arm bands. We’re kicking the kink back up in this show I see.

Ah Yes. This Millennia Old Illuminated Manuscript Proves Ra’s Al Ghul Is Immortal. Drawings In Books Are Irrefutable Proof Of Identity. 

Uggggggghhhhhhhh... back to Jim Het Subplot Gordon, ugh I feel like throwing up. All of my tears Harvey. I hope you’re pissed as hell with him.

I hope you kill him, sweetie. I hope you’re only here to murder him. I’d be proud of you.

asfghjshadgksahjfwkhfkjshfdksja <--- rage typing @ Jim’s everything

*siiiiiigh* Well, at least Ed isn’t attracted to her at all. Although... that’s just feeding me ALL of the Harley vibes and MMMM. MMMMMM. You know what we DIDN’T need?

Hmmmmm, Ed doesn’t... Ed seems to be processing some shit. Interestinggggg. There’s hope for this show yet.

Ummm... weird cut away shot. I think that was an homage to Hannibal, the extreme #aesthetic close up, but I’m afraid y’all don’t have the camera crew to carry that off as it took me 8 million years to understand what I was looking at

Hey! Acupuncture is a legit thing Ed, fuck you

Your body is just all fucked up man, this’ll take time

Ed’s uh... having some bad times. Huh. Didn’t think freezing him would fuck up his brain, but uh... let’s see. That would certainly be a departure from the icy convenience.

Ewwwwwwwww @ Jim’s romantic subplot. Ugh. Why.

HE KILLED YOUR BROTHER. GOD I HOPE YOU MURDER HIM.

*rolls around in despair*

Oswald likes Bruce at least, there’s like... one whole thing

Hmmmm, it was the old switcheroo. I mean... frankly I buy the muscle atrophy thing, that totally makes sense, and... I guess his body being fine but his brain being mush, even if it doesn’t make sense, it’s satisfying? Ehhh, we’ll see

Godddd *siiiiigh*

I see that Sofia has a thing against shirts so... I mean that’s a thing

*siiiiiiigh* I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

Zsasz, my sweet, my angel, I love you, you are my everything

Ed’s uh... he’s fine. He’s fine.

“The Lazarus Pit” ...really? That’s what we’re calling it? I think divine amniotic sack is more appropriate but... whatever man. Call your creepy green goo whatever you want.

Babs and... Ra’s Al Ghul that’s... that’s a new one

Also, how did a quality actor like Alexander Siddig end up in a trash show like this?

[shannaraisles]

Set In Darkness

Chapter: 58 Author name: ShannaraIsles Rating: M Warnings: None Summary: She’s a Modern Girl in Thedas, but it isn’t what she wanted. There’s a scary dose of reality as soon as she arrives. It isn’t her story. People get hurt here; people die here, and there’s no option to reload if you make a bad decision. So what’s stopping her from plunging head first into the Void at the drop of a hat?

Said the Spider

Granthis Perivale was the gift that just kept giving.

Never mind that Rory was still struggling a little with the fact that a character she had written as an incidental NPC was alive and well and prospering in a post-Conclave Thedas, he was a gloriously familiar sort of mess that somehow managed to make her feel absolutely at home as soon as he arrived at the manor Josephine had procured for the Inquisition's use in Val Royeaux. The lopsided apothecary hadn't bothered letting anyone announce him; he'd simply walked in, handed his ridiculous hat to the nearest person - who happened to be a bemused Blackwall - and marched up the stairs, opening every door until he found the room where Rory was being finished off for the evening. With a lackadaisical, "Evening, little girl," he'd made his way over to the couch, and thrown himself down comfortably to watch as the finishing touches were put on his escort for the evening.

"Hello, Granthis," she greeted him with a smile, unable to turn and look at him when a determined Josephine had a firm grip on her hair. "Just how awful is this evening going to be?"

Not that I really need to be told, but he doesn't know about the assassin. And he's not going to know, because there's no way in hell I'm telling anyone anything about what's going to happen tonight. She was still edgy about just being in the same building as Florianne du Chalons; that woman was a bag of crazy cats and then some. Weirdly, she was also a little concerned about meeting Morrigan. Of everyone here, the former Witch of the Wilds was the one who was most likely to realise just what it was that was slightly off about Rory; she'd experienced the Crossroads, and appeared to have visited worlds that weren't Thedas. It was more than a little unnerving to think that Morrigan might guess at a glance that Rory's mind, at least, wasn't from around here.

"Moderately awful," Granthis informed her. At least she didn't have to worry about him keeping anything from her - for a man who made his living skirting the edge of the Chantry's disapproval, he was flagrantly honest. "You're going to make it far more entertaining for me, I trust?"

Rory snorted with laughter. "I'm not sure I want to know how you think I'm going to be more entertaining than some of the nobles."

"You, little girl, have a bad habit of expressing yourself without thinking," Granthis said, his grin audible behind her. "I am very much looking forward to hearing all your opinions on the high and the mighty."

"Which you will not be expressing aloud, I hope," Josephine interjected in a cautious tone.

"I do solemnly swear not to say anything too offensive where the puffs can hear me," Rory assured her, holding up her hand in the Brownie salute, which clearly went over both their heads.

"Madame Ambassador, you're spoiling my fun," Granthis complained cheerfully. "The little girl will be perfectly safe from retaliation for anything she says, I assure you. The nobility of Orlais do not dare to be less than tolerant of our guild and its friends."

"Even so, Mistress Rutherford, you are a representative of the Inquisition this evening," Josephine pointed out, eyeing Rory's hair critically before carefully repositioning a wayward curl. A lot of effort had gone into making Rory's hair curl - it was not inclined to hold the shape, much preferring wayward waves instead.

"I promise, Josie, I will be on my best behavior," Rory promised her with a warm smile. "Am I allowed to stand up yet?"

The ambassador considered her for a long moment, and abruptly smiled. "Yes, you may," she conceded. "You look beautiful, Rory."

Flushing in embarrassed pleasure, the redheaded healer rose to her feet, making absolutely certain she was secure on those heels before turning around to get her first look at her friend. Hooo boy ...

Granthis Perivale was not a subtle man. In a land where the ugliness of his face was covered by the beauty of a mask, he had made the distinct effort to make his clothing as offensive to the eyes as was humanly possible. His doublet was a greasy mustard yellow, the shirt beneath a loud shade of turquoise; bright scarlet knee britches were worn over gold hose; and on his feet were a pair of curled slippers in startling orange, set with buckles and ribbons of lime green. He looked ... hilarious. There was no way anyone at the Winter Palace wasn't going to know who he was, that was for certain.

She stared at him from behind her own half-mask, unable to hide the grin that was trying to express itself. His mismatched eyes watched her through the eye-holes of his mask, and finally, he started to laugh, rising to his feet to give her a shambling twirl.

"Do you not like my fancy frock, little girl?"

"I'm ... speechless," she admitted, giving into her own giggles as Josephine winced at her side. "You're an assault on the eyes, Granthis."

"And you're a delight to them, little girl," he complimented her, bowing with undue ceremony. "We'll make quite the pair."

They certainly would. While Granthis was guaranteed to draw the eye, and a certain amount of disgust from the delicate noble sensibilities, Rory might well hold the eye tonight. Francoise had outdone herself with the gown. A velvet bodice fitted to the unusually generous swell of the healer's bosom flared from an empirical waist line into wide flounces of silk and brocade, layered pale blue over white and gold. Long sleeves showed off the delicate embroidery of the soft silk chemise beneath, layered over with more of the blue brocade to fit those sleeves to the slenderness of her arms. At first glance, even second glance, there was no hint of the little bump hidden beneath the flare of those skirts, even when she was moving, a testament to the seamstress' skill at her profession. The mask Granthis had sent was simple and silver; Josephine had wrestled Rory's red hair into a waterfall of curls pinned back from her face. She was terribly unfashionable, but ... she felt beautiful. It was a strange sensation.

"You most certainly will be noticed," Josephine admitted a little ruefully. "The commander may even accept that dressing you such was a good idea."

Rory snorted with laughter, though nerves fluttered at the thought of what Cullen was going to say when he saw her. "Is he even back yet?" she asked curiously. Her husband had decided to brief his soldiers personally, rather than wait around while the ladies were fussing over their appearance. He could dress himself within minutes, after all.

"I do not believe so," Josephine told her with a decidedly sneaky smile. "He will simply have to admire you from afar when we get to the Winter Palace. Master Perivale, you have a carriage waiting?"

Granthis nodded, his grin unseen behind the full mask he wore but definitely felt. "Aye, Madame Ambassador," he assured her. "I'll take good care of her."

Rory drew in a deep breath. "Well, I suppose I'm as ready as I will ever be," she conceded, forcing her hands away from her bump. She had to remember not to touch it tonight. "Shall we?"

Her ludicrously-garbed companion offered her his arm. "I think we shall, little girl. Madame Ambassador."

Inclining his head to Josephine, the ugly, slightly lopsided apothecary drew Rory out of the room and down the stairs to the main door. Blackwall was still standing in the entrance way, that ridiculous hat still in his hands, looking as though he would rather be anywhere else but here. It was something of an honor to see his jaw drop as the gruff man's eyes fell on the pair making their way down the stairs.

"Andraste's tits, healer," he breathed, looking her over as Granthis reclaimed his hat - bright magenta with several enormous feathers draping over its crown. "You're a sight to warm the heart. Cullen's going to split his strides."

"I could swap clothes with you," she offered him impishly. "I'm sure you'd take the Winter Palace by storm in this get-up."

Blackwall laughed, tugging on his beard as he looked her over once again. "Hold that thought, and we'll try it at Skyhold," he offered, seeming to sense that she needed to be kept smiling. He, at least, knew what to expect in the Imperial Court; for all her lessons and her gaming experience, Rory felt very uninformed still.

"I would pay good money to see you so be-decked, serrah," Granthis informed him, his voice oddly cool behind the mask.

"So would a lot of people, I expect." Blackwall chuckled, stepping back from them. "See you later, healer."

"Not too much later, I hope," Rory wished, letting Granthis guide her out of the manor to the carriage that waited for them. She eyed her companion a little suspiciously as they settled onto the padded seats, as the carriage began to move, bearing them toward Halamshiral and the vipers' nest within.

"What's wrong?" she asked bluntly. His coolness toward Blackwall had not gone unnoticed. Don't tell me he knows who the man actually is.

"That man we were speaking to," Granthis said warily. "What name does he go by?"

Well, there's the answer. He does know. "He goes by Blackwall," she told her friend quietly. "Why, do you know what his real name is?"

The apothecary reached a finger beneath his mask to scratch his nose. "I may do," he told her, still in that wary tone. "Others may, too. Not the wisest decision, bringing him to Val Royeaux."

"He's done nothing against the Inquisition," she told Granthis, though now she was a little worried. Was Blackwall really that easy to recognize? Were they going to have trouble with nobles knowing him for who he really was so soon?

"You would say he is a good man?" Granthis queried thoughtfully.

"I'd say he's trying to be a good man," she answered honestly enough. "Look, I know he isn't who he says he is, and I know he's a wanted man. Is he going to be recognized tonight? Will it cause trouble?"

Granthis considered this for a long moment. "He may be recognized, but the Game does not have room for him at this moment in time," he conceded in a pensive voice. "I doubt anyone would deign themselves to denounce him. Still, it would perhaps be better for him to stay away from the nobles as much as is possible."

Rory nodded, concern flaring. But then ... doesn't Blackwall spend most of the ball in that virtually empty statue hall thing? Maybe he already knows how close to the edge he's walking by being here. "If we get the chance, I'd like to warn him," she informed her companion worriedly. "If that is all right by you."

Granthis nodded easily. "Oh, of course, little girl," he assured her. "I know you have a problem letting the slightly unworthy experience the punishment due to them."

She smiled, relaxing a little. "If you're referring to the business in Harfoot, I don't remember either of us having much choice about hiding you in our cart," she pointed out to her friend, referencing the one interaction between her self-insert character and his character that she had actually written.

"You could have told the templars where I was hiding," he pointed out. "I deserved their ire, after all. You, little girl, are a little too soft-hearted for your own good. I hope this husband of yours is more discerning."

She blushed as he looked significantly down at her middle, thankfully that the dress disguised the bump even when she was seated. "This husband of mine is certainly more driven than I am," she admitted to her friend. "Rest assured that if anything exciting happens tonight, he may easily be in the forefront of controlling it."

She felt Granthis' knowing grin behind his mask. "A man of purpose mated to my little girl, hmm?" he teased cheerfully. "My dear Rory, you simply have to seduce him into dancing with you this evening. The court may unanimously declare you both the new Emperor and Empress if you are as well matched as you declare."

"Oh good grief, Granthis!" She cackled with laughter, well aware he was doing his best to keep her from dissolving into silent nerves on this carriage ride. "I can barely take care of myself. Don't even think about wishing an entire country on me!"

"If you can handle a baby, you can handle a country," the apothecary told her gleefully. "Less vomit, more shouting."

"Your confidence is inspiring," she drawled sardonically, glancing through the window as they passed through a thick wall and golden gates. "I take it the gates are to keep everyone out who isn't invited?"

"Well, mainly they're to make the point that elves don't have any claim to the area," he mused, tilting his own head to watch the ornamental approach pass them by. "Not that anyone believes it. The main reason for the wall serves to illustrate how ill-gotten the gain of this land really was, and how insecure the Orlesians are about it."

She sobered, remembering all the myriad codex entries on this exact point of history in the games, all the mentions, how sad she had been when she'd first visited the Emerald Graves as a Dalish Inquisitor. If it was strange to hear a human express this sort of sentiment, it didn't seem so to her. But then, she had created Granthis, to a certain extent. It was natural that he might share some of her opinions, if not quite so vehemently.

"They won't really be as hostile to me as I'm expecting, will they?" she asked her friend in a worried tone.

His eyes turned back to her, mismatched shadows behind his mask. "You've nothing to fear, little girl," he promised her. "You are my guest. Your purpose here is to meet the Guild Master at my invitation, as far as they know. As far as I know, to be fair. The nobility won't see a pretty healer as a threat."

"I hope not," she murmured, chewing on her lower lip as the carriage slowed to a halt. They had arrived.

The palace was beautiful, lit by candles and torches, the great stone staircase leading to the interior littered with the great and beautiful of Orlais. Each one was masked and arrayed in similar fashion, giving the impression of a crowd of statues enchanted to move and speak for the evening. Rory felt a rush of pure terror wash over her, anxiety making itself known rather belatedly. I can't get out of this now, she reminded herself. You're here, Rory. Tits and teeth.

As Granthis leaned back into the carriage to take her hand, she drew in a deep breath and steeled herself. Her part in the Great Game was about to begin.

And in case anyone’s interested, this is Rory’s dress for the evening.

[xheartsigh]

high on fairy dust

sugakookie oneshot, ~5k, fluff, fantasy au, college au

a.k.a in which fictional characters are born into the real world after they die and that’s how art student jungkook meets fairy yoongi

There are several ways Jungkook would describe Suga: ethereal, unearthly, out of this world. Which he kind of really is.

He was his best friend and loyal companion during kindergarten. The one you build fictional worlds with. He was also the one whom little 6 years old Jungkookie first cried over when he died in the webtoon. Such a cruel fate for the lovely, pointy eared, mint haired character. Jungkook remembered sending a letter with his mother to the writer that she cannot do this. She can’t just let Suga die. His family still like to tease him about how much he adored that comics and grew attached to one of the side characters. Still, his imaginary friend felt too real to not to be true but he grew up knowing it wasn’t real. Wings was just a story and Suga was just a character, a fragment of his imagination.

That's why Jungkook is absolutely sure he must be dreaming. Because there's no way Suga is standing right in front of him in the hallway of the university and looking at him expectantly like it's no big deal.

He’s a little shorter with a more fragile posture but still a nice figure. Confidence radiating from the way he stands with straight back and hands hovering over his bag. His skin is pale and he has long, musician fingers. His hair is faded green with a touch of silver and the colour of his dark leather jacket hardens the soft edges of his face. Maybe it's the contrast or the lights above that make his eyes glimmering with dying stars of the universe. He's so, so... beautiful.

“What?” The grumble shakes him to the core. The voice is low and smooth. No wonder it takes him a few seconds to realize what happened. WHAT? Did he really just say that out loud?

Jungkook wants to facepalm himself because wow, that's a new record, he made a fool out of himself in a span of a minute.

“Yeah... um... the lights, you know and the colours...” he murmurs awkwardly.

Gosh, now he's rambling while Suga looks him straight in the eye with a frown on his face. Jungkook wishes that the ground would shallow him up to make him stop before the situation gets even more awkward. The guy - because no matter how much he resembles Suga, he can't be him, that's not possible, right? - is surely not interested in his mumbling so he shuts up and hangs his head to look at their shoes. While he wears his favourite Timberland boots, the light haired guy has Converse and light blue jeans on that reveal a slight stripe of his ankles. Right, he can't be... because Suga never wore shoes.

“You're Jeon Jungkook, right?” The stranger asks straightforwardly and Jungkook snaps out of his thoughts. He lifts his head up so fast he's almost sure he got a whiplash. He lets out a non-coherent grunt while his mind is hyperventilating at the question how? How does he know him? Like at all because he’s deadly sure they have never met before and it’s unlikely that they have the same class...

“Did you draw this?” The used-to-be wild mint haired guy shoves a picture to his face from the last issue of the university’s magazine that stops Jungkook’s train of thoughts before it gets crazier. On the photo there’s one of his experiments with a new technique using only colourful pens without black ink. It made everything look softer and his Graphical Design professor liked it so much he included it in said magazine.

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods slowly because there’s no point of denying. The string of his name is printed on the corner of the page.

The guy hums in recognition and stuffs the paper into his back pocket.

“Do you do commissions?”

“I don't even know who you are,” Jungkook deadpans out of a knee jerk reaction because well, he’s awkward with strangers. Especially with attractive, ‘hey, you look like a fairy from a webtoon’ kind of strangers and he panics.  Luckily, the other guy doesn’t scoff at his rudeness, instead he extends his right hand waiting for him to take it.

“Min Yoongi, fourth year in music production and I need an album cover. Now that you know me, can we talk?”

 ❀ ❀ ❀

 They end up in a café shop nearby the university. It seems Yoongi is a regular here because the pretty cashier girl beams at him immediately when they step inside. She looks a lot like those cosplay artists around the campus with her bright blue bob hair. Yoongi orders ‘the usual’ and then looks questioningly behind him where Jungkook immediately get flustered but manages to stammer out an ‘Americano, please’.

On the way here they haven’t exchanged any words so Jungkook doesn’t know what to say or how to start. He’s still kind of lost between the He can’t be Suga and the Oh man holy shit, someone want to pay for my art phrases.

“Sooo whose album are we talking about?” he singsongs dragging out the first syllable as soon as they seat at a table next to the window with their drinks. “I should at least know the genre and maybe a sneak-peek could also help so that I know what kind of cover would be the best...”

And there he is rambling once again. He quickly grabs hold off himself looking down to his cup and takes a sip of his coffee which is so hot, hot, hot it burns his tongue.

The other guy chuckles, not out of spite but rather a little amused. Jungkook feels relieved, maybe he hasn’t messed up his chances of getting paid yet.

“Mine. And it’s actually a mixtape,” Yoongi replies with ease while his fingers are tapping on the plastic table. He has delicate fingers, the younger notes observing the multiple silver rings on the other’s hand. One of them looks like a curved angel wing.

“Oh.” For a moment, Jungkook forgets about comparing and stares at the guy bewilderedly. “So you rap.”

It’s a statement but sounds like a question and the musician raises an eyebrow.

“You sound surprised.”

“I am not. Not really,” he protests because he doesn’t want to seem like that person. The one who judges at first sight. But he also tries to be honest. “Well, okay, yes. In my mind rappers are big bad boys with golden chains and you don’t really look like that.”

Yoongi unconsciously touches his pastel coloured locks.

“Well, not everything is what it seems,” he mutters and sips a little from his drink. From the way the golden coffee stirs it looks like liquid caramel or melted sugar. The epitome of sweetness. A little whipped cream sticks on the corner of Yoongi’s mouth and Jungkook knows he’s doomed because he likes sweet things way too much.

 ❀ ❀ ❀

 Later that week he gets an e-mail with an attachment named agustd_sample.zip.

Just tell me how much time you need and name a price. - MYG

It’s short and straightforward with no emojis, strictly business which makes Jungkook panic. What if he will ruin everything and his drawing will be lame? What if nobody ever wants to work with him again? What if he will blurt out something stupid like ‘I like your hair’? The too many what if scenarios make him cringe and he hits the play button as soon as the software is done uncompressing the folder. For a moment he stills when he hears the first loud beats. It’s definitely not what he expected.

For someone who looks so soft, Yoongi has a way with raw and harsh words that pull the strings of your heart. Only a five minutes preview of a whole mixtape made Jungkook realise that there are dozens of untold stories behind those onyx eyes. Maybe he’s a bit rough around the edges and they only met once but the younger wants to peel off the layers one by one.

Two weeks at tops and you’ll pay depending on how much you like it - JJK

Ps. I liked the sample. Can’t wait to hear it all.

No, it’s too much. Keep it professional! Don’t let your inner fanboy break out.

Ps. You’re talented.

 ❀ ❀ ❀

 After agreeing on the job Jungkook finds out that it’s rather easy to bump into Min Yoongi. Especially in the coffee shop where the musician often holes himself up with his laptop, earbuds plugged in to work on a new track. It’s silently becomes a routine that he sits across the older and scrabbles a few sketches in his notebook constantly asking for opinions.

By the end of the week Jungkook has dozens of drafts. Half of them are full of dark colours with edgy figures and symbols. The other half has watercolours, soft patterns but scrawled font scribbled onto the background creating a contrast. Jungkook isn't satisfied with either. The mixtape is so complex, nothing seems to do it justice.

“Stop whining and draw the first thing that comes to your mind,” Jimin, one of his crazy roommates groans after Jungkook throws another creased paper towards the bin and misses it. Their dorm’s floor became literally an ocean of dismissed ideas.

“I can’t,” the younger boy utters a theatrical sigh burying his head into his paint and ink marked hands. “He’d glare me to death if I drew him with wings. It has nothing to do with the album and on the top of it, it’s weird.”

The look Jimin gives him is close to stunned and rolls his eyes scenically.

“You’re still hung up on the Suga thing? I told you he may be cosplaying 24/7 or he’s a loyal fanboy like yourself.”

Laughter starts scratching Jungkook’s throat at that and he chuckles in the end.

“Unlikely but thanks, hyung.”

“You’re welcome,” his roommate replies but not really pays attention as he scrolls down on his phone until he looks up confused.  “But for what?”

Even if it’s not for wings but maybe Jungkook has another idea that might work. He grabs a pencil and engrosses himself in creating again.

 ❀ ❀ ❀

 Suga in the webtoon was a little mischievous character, sometimes sassy but warm-hearted no less. Yoongi is a little more laid-back, reserved, and really hard to see through. He’s so much more than what first meets the eye. There’s a whole different atmosphere around him. Even when he’s just walking carelessly, there’s grace in his every move as if he was walking on thin air. The way he carries himself doesn’t attract a lot of attention because he’s like smoke: just there and then gone. Yet, he always finds himself in the company of little birds and colourful butterflies even in the colder season. He isn’t even aware or at least he said so when Jungkook jokingly claimed it's because of his hair colour. For someone who says he doesn’t care and acts all mighty about it, he's doing a pretty good job at feeding the campus’ birds with his half-eaten sandwiches. Sometimes Jungkook even catches him humming a melody to himself and it looks like he's not doing it on purpose, just out of habit. The song is melancholic and nostalgic yet his warm tone could make flowers bloom. Yoongi always smells faintly like blossoms, nothing artificial but more like that rich wildflower scent that you can't buy as cologne. Jungkook slowly gets addicted.

 ❀ ❀ ❀

 It's the first time Yoongi visits Jungkook’s dorm. It's not planned, just a spontaneous idea of checking out a few drafts and sketches because the artist has to make sure they match the rapper's idea. When the idea of visiting popped out of his head in the coffee shop he really didn't think this through because the moment they step into the tiny room he shares with two equally crazy guys, Taehyung and Jimin, Yoongi halts. Jungkook is in the middle of explaining some techniques he used when he notices the sudden movement - the lack of it, actually - and turns to the other guy in surprise. Yoongi isn’t looking at him but stares at his wall covered by his drawings. He follows his gaze mindlessly, already fearing what caught the older’s attention because in the chaos there's an especially big and detailed piece. Of no other than his beloved webtoon character, Suga.

He faintly remembers the assignment he did last year and how his professor adored this picture. He was as well proud of this spring festival themed work of him. It portrayed the minty haired fairy smiling toothy with a lovely flower crown on his head and fireworks in the background. But the essential part of the drawing was his wings: the almost transparent, barely there light blue and green touches of human sized butterfly wings as it was showed in the comics. It was a little more than a fanart, almost worship and maybe that's why Jungkook flushed to tomato red as soon as he realized why Yoongi’s steps died.

In the last few weeks he stopped comparing Yoongi and Suga, almost forgetting about their obvious similarities. Almost because right now he's painfully aware of the fact as Yoongi watches the picture. It looks like him. A lot.

“It's not what you think. It's not you. He's a webtoon character, you know…” Jungkook finally catches his breath and that’s all he can manage to say to save the situation. And he’s doing a terrible job of it. He knows he’s stumbling over his words and his ears are scarlet because embarrassment choose this exact moment to come over him. But God is gracious as Yoongi interrupts him before he could make an even bigger fool out of himself.

“It's pretty.”

“Hah?”

To say that he’s dumbfounded is an understatement and he just stares at the boy analysing his work.

“You're talented,” the musician mimics his exact words from the e-mail while running his fingers through his silky, light-coloured locks. Jungkook faintly wonders how soft they must be and his palm starts itching. He’s never been more grateful for the sudden change in topics. “So where are those album cover drafts?”

Oh yeah, the drafts. That’s why they originally came for before the artist got a mini mental breakdown. Yoongi hums while looking at the drawings, sometimes points out a ‘that’s good’ or ‘not bad’ but his gaze is always flickers back to the picture on the wall. Jungkook can’t quite decipher the look in his eyes but that tiny little sly smile in the corner of his mouth gives him away.

After discussing the concept once again, the passion that is evident in Yoongi’s expression is all what it takes for Jungkook to finally finish a cover that he’s proud of. It only takes 3 hours to draw and digitalize the whole piece. It's like a vision with a boy on the top of an overturned truck with the silver moon above and fireflies around while the city behind him is on fire.

 ❀ ❀ ❀

 “I like this one the most,” Jungkook points at a song title when he gets the honour of visiting Yoongi at his made-shift little studio and listening to the whole mixtape.

“It's just the interlude,” the rapper furrows his eyebrows while stretching in his chair. He looks so soft with his fluffy freshly washed hair in his oversized hoodie. Maybe the younger found him intimidating (for one tiny millisecond before the realization of his resemblance with Suga struck him) but now he knows Min Yoongi is such a softie. No wonder why he has forest flavoured candles, cactuses and a huge Kumamon plushie in his studio.

“I know but it makes me feel like home,” Jungkook shrugs lightly and he thinks Yoongi’s eyes are saying ‘Me, too’.

 ❀ ❀ ❀

 It’s a surprise visit. A never-expected one leading to even less expected events.

It happens when he sneezes. First, Jungkook think it’s just flower pollen but then Yoongi coughs a little and suddenly tiny golden crystals swirling in the air and that can’t be solemnly because of the ridiculous amount of flowers in the apartment. It looked more like a flower shop than a home of two university students but Jungkook always thought that it’s maybe because of Yoongi’s roommate.

“You... are you okay?” Jungkook takes a step closer so he can check the look on the older.

Is he sick? Or… maybe he really just takes this cosplay thing way too seriously? Recently he found himself agreeing with Jimin. Maybe he’s right after all because the other day Jungkook would have sworn he had seen pointy ears under Yoongi’s hair. And now this weird, not quite known where is it coming from substance?

“Yeah, fine, don't worry,” Yoongi dismisses his stupid question with a wave. He looks around searching for a broom but Jungkook won't shut up.

“But... but you sneeze glittering stuff. That's not normal. That's exactly what fairies do in comics kind of not normal,” he adds half-jokingly half seriously but doesn't expect an explicit answer.

Meanwhile the silence is a quiet pray while Yoongi cast down his eyes.

“Yeah, I know that,” he sighs. Okay, so he knows that. That’s not mind-blowing or anything because if he’s really a fan of Wings, he should know about this little detail but the look on this face tells otherwise. It’s like something is cracking inside of him. A kind of resolve. He shrugs. “It happens.”

“You…” Jungkook isn’t sure he can process what's going on anymore. He gapes at the other guy like fish do. He feels like a broken record played too many times. “Are you for real? Is it really fairy dust? Are you really a fairy?”

The last question is almost inaudible because suddenly he feels shy and very self-aware of the craziness of the situation. You don’t just go to a stranger, more like a friend but not quite asking them if they’re fairies. It cannot happen… right?

Yoongi’s disbelieving snort is comforting in a way. Maybe he’s just dreaming or hallucinating. Jungkook doesn’t know anymore which one would be worse… or better.

“Not just any fairy, thank you very much,” the faded mint-haired boy’s huff is downright resentful as if any other implication was insulting. Then he adds something in a lighter, pleading voice. Like a wish. “You know who I am.”

Jungkook violently shakes his head. He doesn’t know anything, he thinks too much and understands too little. But then Yoongi steps closer smelling like wildflowers and his eyes are the most beautiful chocolate seas the younger has ever seen. Yet, the most amazing and unbelievable thing happens when the older’s bare feet touches the wooden ground leaving growing flowers behind. At the sight, the artist feels out of balance and he really needs someone to slap him awake.

“Suga?” he tries faintly and sounds unsure with his voice uneven and quiet. Yoongi sighs characteristically.

“I thought you’d already figured it out. The picture…”

“Oh no! I told you it's not you,” he protests immediately but bites his lower lip when Yoongi gives him that look. The knowing look Suga always used in the webtoon. The striking similarities finally make sense but not really. How is this even possible? “Well, yeah, it's you after all but it was before we met and I just can't believe…”

As he trails off, Jungkook sits back on his heels to take a closer look at the glittering substance.

“Don't touch the dust!” Yoongi… Suga warns him hurriedly and sounds just a little bit worried. “In an intense dose it makes you high.”

“Oh so it's all true? It happened because I surprised you?” Jungkook looks up curiously. In the webtoon fairies emitted fairy dust when they had high adrenaline level which was produced by sudden emotions such as fear, surprise or even love.

“Let’s say that. I can’t control it,” the fairy boy grumbles out in an undeniably uncomfortable manner. Suddenly, his elfish ears stick out in a way that can’t go unnoticed anymore. The younger wonders how he could not notice them for so long. “Come on I'll give you some herb tea so you don't faint and I'll explain everything.”

 ❀ ❀ ❀

 “People see what they want to see. The universe doesn't want them to freak out and hunt us down. It's in the balance. Those who die in a fictional world, get another chance in the real one.”

They sit on the coach in the living room of Yoongi and his roommate’s apartment and the fairy tries his best to explain everything to the overly eager and quite shocked boy who seems like never running out of questions.

“But-but what if the antagonist die?” Jungkook blinks innocently because the thought of story-escaped magical creatures and evil characters running around freely in the world is a little bit scary. Yes, even for a webtoon-lover, comics scribbling enthusiastic like him, okay? Especially for him who knows exactly what it’s like to create a world with a few words or strokes and how easy it is to destroy it with another.

“Oh there's another factor. People have to think the characters didn't deserved death,” Yoongi adds and the younger is quick to agree.

“You didn't.”

“Thanks,” the fairy murmurs. His voice is soft and grateful. “Maybe that's why I'm here.”

What he doesn’t say: maybe you’re the reason why I’m still here.

Jungkook is never the one who can be satisfied with only the outlines. He needs more than just the highlights, he needs circumstances, details and colours.

“And then what? You just woke up in this world?”

“Well, it's a little more difficult than that. It's magic after all,” Yoongi shrugs and with a flick of his finger tiny snowflakes starts raining down on them. In the webtoon, fairies wasn’t only associated with spring and warm but every aspect of nature. The winter wonders were portrayed just as beautiful as blooming flowers in summer. Like it should be. “Yeah, I woke up in a bed like it was just a dream. The family I was assigned to and everyone involved believed I was always here and it was easy to forget about my earlier life. I only remembered while I was dreaming until I met Seokjin.”

“Your roommate? Is he a…” Jungkook blinks in surprise and tears his gaze away from the snowfall. He’s still processing that all of it is real.

“Yeah, he is. I mean Jin is definitely not a fairy but he also came from a book. He was once a prince if you wonder. He introduced me to others like us. Sunny is a mermaid and Jackson is a lame excuse of a warlock,” he scoffs trying to mask his amusement as he mentions familiar names. After a few moments of silence he lowers his gaze from the snowflakes to glance at the boy sitting on the other side of the couch. “But I’ve never met any human before who could see through the Mist.”

“The Mist?” the younger frowns at him at the weird word.

“It makes ordinary what isn't in people’s eyes,” Yoongi nods and then laughs. “Like last year, that earthquake in Japan. That was a dragon on loose actually.”

Jungkook faintly remembers the destruction caused by the unpredictable volcanic activity. Then it all makes sense; that’s why he didn’t see the extraordinary and odd signs around.

“Oh... Like your ears,” he murmurs.

“What about them?”

“They're pointy but I couldn’t see them for a while.”

“Yeah, just like that,” the older looks him in the eye. Maybe he just wants to see what changed. How could these pretty dark orbs resembling so much to chocolate brownies suddenly reveal a whole new world? But his gaze is so blunt and he stares for so long that it makes Jungkook blush. It makes him think even wilder things.

“Please…” he pleads because he doesn’t really know how to put his request into words.

“What?” Yoongi gapes at him which makes him gulp. For a few moments he’s hesitating: should he say it or should he keep it to himself? It’ll sound weird but the what if is worse, isn’t it? He’ll lose either way so he gives it a chance.

“Let me see your wings,” he blurts out with reddening cheeks.

The fairy looks taken aback at the sudden request and shakes his head vigorously.

“No.” It’s harsh and definite but Jungkook doesn’t know how to give up.

“Hyung…” he pouts.

“Maybe you won't even see them.”

It doesn’t work. Jungkook has the same determination in his eyes that he has when he draws, it’s like chasing perfection. And now he’s cheating, using his cute puppy eyes to manipulate the older’s weak, sensitive heart.

“Okay,” he sighs and grabs the hem of his shirt with fidgeting fingers. Quickly like he wants to get over it as soon as possible he pulls it up so the material rolls up on his back revealing his smooth white skin under.

But nothing else. No wings.

“Oh,” Jungkook puffs and disappointment is boiling inside him while Yoongi looks like he's afraid he freaked him out.

“Is it that bad? I think they're pretty but I…”

The younger hangs his head down and even if he doesn’t say it out loud, his tone is apologetic. “I can't see them.”

“O-oh... I told you so,” Yoongi whispers but he looks even more disappointed.

 ❀ ❀ ❀

 “You’re staring.”

It should sound like an accusation but it doesn’t even compare.

“Your hair is pink now,” Jungkook states in awe eyeing the pastel colours of the fairy’s locks while he watches him work.

“Nice observation, Sherlock. Now can you stop staring?” Yoongi shuffles a little uneasy and clicks a few buttons to arrange the vocal levels. The edge of his voice is not that intimidating as it once was. Since he has nothing to hide from the younger, he acts more Suga-like and doesn’t even care explaining himself when sometimes the artist catches him floating a few inches above the ground or leaving flowers petals all over the floor. It’s only been a few weeks since the big revelation but Jungkook still can’t get over the fact that he’s friends with a fairy, not to mention his favourite webtoon-character ever!

“No,” Jungkook replies without a second thought before he can stop himself and immediately has an internal mental breakdown.

Yoongi makes an unamused grunt and looks away. But hey, is that a blush creeping its way on his cheeks? Blame his pale skin that gets rosy too easy. Blame the heater that works overtime in this cold weather. Blame anything but his irregular heartbeats and the subtle (and not-so-subtle) fleeting touches that leave behind goosebumps in their wake when Jungkook sits just a little bit too close.

 ❀ ❀ ❀

 The two of them spend more and more time together even after Jungkook’s commission is long over (and no, he didn’t let the rapper pay instead he asked him to go get lamb skewers together). There’s still no end of the younger’s curiosity. He wants to know everything about the world Yoongi came from (Is it true that you only drank flower nectar?) and what happened to him after he woke up here (What made you pursue music?). When he asks ’do you only date fairy girls?’ Yoongi can’t help but laugh. Jungkook doesn’t know what it means.

To be honest, he doesn’t know a lot of things. He’s too young and awkward, making a fool out of himself too often but he wears his heart on his sleeves and he’s passionate about the things he likes. The people he likes… loves. He’s just a boy but in a sense of the word Yoongi is too but in-between late night talks and surprise back hugs under magical crystals none of it matters at all.

Once Jungkook asks tremblingly if he misses the other world and Yoongi looks at him for a long time before replying. ‘No’ is an answer of a character destined for a tragic end and a man who found what he was looking for among humans. This is the reason why he prefers to be called Yoongi and not Suga anymore.

Sometimes it makes Jungkook wonder why can't they move on, why are they stuck at the limbo between being strangers, friends and something else, he’s not sure what but something more. Other times he's painfully aware of it: the Mist is still there. Some things he sees, other things he can't see. Yoongi says it’s okay, says that people have a hard time accepting the other world as a whole but Jungkook doesn’t want to be just anybody. When they exchange secret smiles and knowing looks, Yoongi’s eyes whispering ‘not yet’ and the younger becomes anxious. Then when?

Soon. Soon. Soon. The universe tells them when once Jungkook is careless enough to gets high on fairy dust and Yoongi keeps tangling his fingers in his hair while the younger sleeps off the aftermath in his lap.

 ❀ ❀ ❀

 It happens when neither of them thinks about it. They’re watching a movie with the double trouble while eating ice cream in dead ass winter to celebrate the end of their exams. The living room is filled with loud hassle about changing the channel although they’re already in the middle of the film.

“Give it to me…”

“No, you can't switch…”

Typical. Jimin and Taehyung are fighting over the remote control. Again. And it may be a careless limb or perhaps an elbow that knocks the spoon out of Yoongi’s hand but either way it results in the rainbow-coloured ice cream splashing all over the oldest’s shirt.

“Oh shit. Sorry, hyung,” one of them mumbles while the other quickly adds:

“Really sorry, but it was totally Jiminnie's fault.”

While they’re arguing about it, Yoongi just sighs tossing his half-eaten ice cream aside and looks down at his shirt that slowly becomes soaked with the sweet dessert and he feels a little cold.

“Brats,” he just grumbles and stands up not really knowing what to do. Luckily, Jungkook is quick to react.

“You should wash it out before it dries, I'll give a clean one,” he offers like it’s common between them. The clothes-sharing. For a moment, he regrets his straightforwardness but Yoongi sounds grateful.

“Okay,” he nods and shuffles awkwardly to the tiny bathroom.

Meanwhile the younger searches for his smallest shirt to fit Yoongi’s delicate frame which is almost as broad as his but not as built. When he finds a good enough Nirvana tee he passes by the still arguing duo and walks into the bathroom without hesitation. It's a mistake. Definitely, because Yoongi has already took off the damaged shirt and placed in the sink letting the water flow do its job. It shouldn't be a problem, he has seen half-naked men, hell, he has to deal with his roommates on daily basis. But it's Yoongi.

Yoongi who has the nicest curves and the smoothest skin he's ever seen. Not to mention that he has the most beautiful eyes that mirrors his equally breathtakingly gorgeous soul. Suddenly, the line of the fairy’s shoulders goes rigid and Jungkook knows he got caught but doesn't care. Not when he can see it. Them: the wide stretched wings that spout from the hallow between his blade bones. Even now, sniffed with tension they're utterly magical. They're technicolour yet transparent, smooth like silk and fragile like glass at the same time. They tremble a little when Yoongi tears his gaze off the mirror and turns to directly look at Jungkook.

“What?” He rolls his eyes but cannot hide the pink on his cheeks and the younger knows he must be a sight too with his wide eyes and mouth agape.

“They're beautiful,” he whispers the most honest thing ever to the world to know. “You're beautiful.”

They meet somewhere halfway. The kiss is sloppy and overexcited but Jungkook smiles when he feels the fairy wings flutter because of his touch. It’s an act of recklessness and it tastes like the strawberry ice cream they just ate which should be gross but Jungkook doesn't care. Not when Yoongi smells like flowers, fairy dust and home in his arms.

[ulyssessklein]

Fingerstylist Jordan Brodie Talks about In Good Company, His Love of the Guitar and Influences

By: Rick Landers

Images: Courtesy of J.Brodie

Jordan Brodie

Of late, Guitar International has been enjoying guitarists known for “fingerstyle” playing who work inside and outside the CAGE to find all kinds of choice sounds that can be melodic, dissonant, romantic and oftentimes otherworldly.

We happened upon Australian, Jordan Brodie, a few months ago who travels the path of some who led the path for him, including Tommy Emmanuel, Ralph Towner, Pat Metheny, Bruce Mathiske, Michael Fix, and Julian Lage.

Brodie’s 2018 release, In Good Company (MGM), offers up a fine bit of guitar mastery and showmanship, technical precision and nuance and has us anticipating his next release, even before In Good Company has made the rounds of his touring performances beyond his native shores. His debut album, First Take, made clear the young man’s guitar virtuosity and his performances proved a fine way to “wow” a growing huddle of fans.

He’d come a long way since his early fumbling with his Yamaha nylon-stringed guitar to today, with his outstanding clarity and accuracy in find the right notes, bending them intuitively and virtually telling a story through his masterful playing.

In Good Company took three years to pull together, while he was a student at the Queensland Conservatorium of Music. So, there was a bit of juggling between the books, guitar practice and songwriting.

And speaking of otherworldly, on the track, “Travels”, you’ll likely hear an instrument you’ve never heard before called a Handpan. Written during this travels in China, Brodie incorporated the instrument’s sonics broadening and deepening the songs ethereal appeal, almost keeping us on metallic rim or edge of balance and edginess.

Last year, Jordan toured Australia, Canada, Ireland and Germany and we’re looking forward to a future tour here in the States.

******

Rick Landers:  Listening to your music, I enjoyed not only the technical skills you use to weave around a song, but the emotional nuances, the phrasing and your movement from a point of a note to a light touch, almost like a soft brush of a sound. What road did you take on the guitar that led you to your style?

Jordan Brodie:  Thank you for the kind words! I started playing guitar like most seven year olds did – wanting to become a rock star! I have AC/DC to thank for that.  I was extremely lucky to have a great teacher, Andy Redhead, who introduced me to fingerstyle guitar, and more importantly, Tommy Emmanuel and Chet Atkins from a young age.

 I fell in love with the challenge and freedom of playing the bass, rhythm and melody simultaneously. I imitated them for years. But, studying jazz guitar at University was where my style really developed.

Jordan Brodie

I discovered Julian Lage. I was obsessed with him – the fact that he was an extraordinary jazz guitarist, but could play the most beautiful, delicate and simplistic melodies on acoustic guitar was eye opening.

His solo acoustic guitar album, World’s Fair, was a big turning point.  It was a much-needed fresh perspective to acoustic guitar! A few other artists are Ralph Towner and Pat Metheny.

Another massive feature of my style is my thumb-pick. Over time the tip of my thumb-pick wore down to almost no tip. And that’s how I kept it.

It allowed me to use the thumb-pick to create solid bass lines, while keeping my fingers free for melodies or chords. However, I also hold the thumb-pick like a plectrum to play faster single note lines, or for certain rhythmic strumming.  This is highlighted in the song “Luna”.

Rick:  Your track, “Luna” brought to mind Davey Graham’s “Angie” and I wondered if you studied his style and technique?

Jordan Brodie:  I actually haven’t heard of Davey Graham! I have some homework to do!

“Luna” was inspired by Julian Lage, in particular his tune “233 Butler from his album, Gladwell.

I think the main lick of “Luna” was drawn from Lage’s guitar etudes on YouTube. As I mentioned before, I was obsessed!  

Rick:  I’ve found each of my guitars has its own personality, feel and something like an old L-1 bites a bit more than, say a ‘40s J-45. What are you playing and what draws you to them? And, do you prefer a particular grouping of tone woods?

Jordan Brodie:  Absolutely! I play a Taylor 514ce. It’s been my main guitar for years. When I perform it handles numerous tuning changes without a hiccup.  Standard tuning to BGDGAD and back, no problem.

But, what I really love about this guitar is how the open tunings, like DADGAD or BGDGAD sound through an AER Amp into a PA. It is a huge, full sound! I haven’t played anything that compares yet.  So I suppose the Cedar/Mahogany combination is what I like at the moment.

Rick: You obviously excel in our world of guitar, but what other things do you do that you find inspiring enough to approach in a disciplined way?

Jordan Brodie:  I enjoy teaching and sharing my ideas and knowledge with my students! Apart from music, I’m a big Liverpool soccer fan. But, really, it’s music 24/7.

Rick:  Where are you at in Australia and what’s the music scene there like for instrumentalists, like yourself?

Jordan Brodie:  I live in Cairns, Queensland. For a regional city, there is a lot of music, and talented musicians around, but my plan has always been to tour rather than gig in one place! It’s a great place to base yourself though.

Rick:  Did you grow up in a family environment where music surrounded you or did you have to discover it?  Did you find you were obsessed with the guitar like a love affair of sorts?

Jordan Brodie:  Yes I did! I was surrounded by Australian rock and Americana music like AC/DC, Credence Clearwater Revival, Chris Isaak  and Johnny Cash etcetera. It’s definitely a love affair! It has never been anything else but the guitar for me. I’m 23 and my friends and family still buy me random guitar related gifts and accessories – I have too much, please stop feeding my addiction! I have other interests too!

Rick: I would tend to think that playing in smaller intimate venues with rich acoustics, that that environment would be a more inspiring place to play than, say a huge auditorium where that intimacy can get lost. What’s been your experience?  

Jordan Brodie:  I agree! Lately, I have been doing a lot of house concerts and my favourite aspect is the intimacy and that the audience can shout questions! I love it.

Rick:  Man, I just listened to “Song for You”, a beautifully melodic piece and your phrasing is touching. I can only imagine this song is for someone special. Would you elaborate on how this song came to be and if it has a deeper meaning that a song that just arrived out of the blue?  A sweet ending, as well…

Jordan Brodie:  Thank you! This piece is written in BGDGAD a tuning I stumbled across and fell in love with. I wrote “Song For You” and “Until We Meet Again” around the same time  – both in the same tuning. Nothing can beat a strong melody, I take a lot of influence from Celtic melodies.

At the time of writing, my father was diagnosed with cancer, so these two pieces were an emotional reaction of having to live with the news and the reality of it. I dedicated my latest album to him. He was my biggest fan.

Rick: I always like to ask performers if they been on the street busking, especially if they’ve become well known, maybe just to see if they could survive on the street. What kinds of experiences do you have like that?

Jordan Brodie:  I have only ever busked as a kid down at my local shopping centre. It was great practice and not bad money for a kid. However, my dream was and still is to perform to people that sit still and quietly listen to me!

Rick:  Please, tell us about your latest release and what projects you’ve got churning around at the moment that we can all look forward to.

Jordan Brodie:  My new album, In Good Company, came out this year! It is a collection of songs that I wrote over three years while studying at the Queensland Conservatorium of Music.

It’s a special album to me. They are the last pieces my Dad heard before he passed away, so it’s a tribute to him.  

I spent the first part of the year touring Australia, Canada and Ireland. But, for now I get to spend the rest of the year writing, practicing and taking all of the culture and sounds in Europe.

Rick: Jordan, I love the mix of music you sent, each with its own stylish personality. I look forward to talking to you again on when your next release comes into play.

Jordan: I appreciate the kinds words. Thanks for taking the time to interview me Rick! I’m always up for a chat. Until next time!

[eswelina]

Universe Commentary (ep 42-52)

I was wondering when Eri would quit. I found strange she was still working even after her confrontation with Knight (which lead to the loss of her buddy). I think is a huge step and I hope she goes for a solo career definitely.

I thought Rei was smarter, but he didn’t realize some obvious things during a few episodes and did some stupid moves in his strategy. Anyway, the Happy Mouse was hilarious. Putting Rei in a “fish out of the water” situation was amazing for his progress.

Omg, Rei was so soft and calm. Very different from his tense and snarky attitude when he jumped to the others’ throats. I like to see him smiling, it makes me happy.

They’re back in the apartment and having domestic life. Aaww, Hackmon sleeping. More aaww, Rei wanders around with Sleepmon and just talks to him.

I KNEW Rei’s tears would broke me. I almost cried, but I couldn’t, because I was so confused and suspicious. I was like “What? How? Is this real? Is this a dream or some kind of trap made by Leviathan?”

We finally get to know Hajime’s personality! I wondered how he really felt when Rei ignored his drawing, because that would tie into Rei learning to put his pride aside during the Mouse thing. I suspected Hajime until the very end. His behavior was weird at times. How come he was a prodigy?

I died when Shutmon hid and started doing the neri-neri in a low voice. And when Bootmon escaped during the festival my reaction was the same as Hajime’s.

This is so nerd, they go to an animanga store. Eri has an action figure haha. I loved seeing the popularity of Eri and Astra when people approach them on a public place.

Wow! The background style of Agumon’s game is the same as Adventure. And...is this AR Field a reference to the fact that some versions of the Digital World are built in layers?

This Agumon is so so good that it’s cute. And the relationship between digimon and appmon as lifeforms is still unclear, but I find interesting that the game has the same name of this season.

Despite the initial rumors this Agumon is not the one from Adventure, so I’m not really sure why they used Brave Heart. Fanservice maybe? And I’m not totally happy that he evolved just like that with “the power of friendship”, but his CGI looked wonderful.

I like that Haru was so bad at the game, but still loved and cared of his virtual pet. He even downloaded the game to his phone at the end. Their bond is beautiful. THIS is how you do an homage and celebrate childhood. I find heartwarming that we, as fans of Digimon, have a crossover that has soul and is made with love.

I was surprised that there was another filler in the heels of the finale, but I thought it couldn’t be so bad since it was about Astra (who got the short stick this season), but in the end it was not worthy. He didn’t get any development. At least he finally used his team.

Poor Bootmon, he’s just tired of being forced to escape. Eri and Astra deserve a prize for running after Bootmon a whole afternoon.

Did...we just get a reverse Astamon situation? I feared they would do that, but I never thought it would apply to Yuujin and Offmon. And I totally didn’t expect that he was aware that he was an android.

I was tired of Yuujin and had lost interest in him long ago. But now, everything is starting to make sense. It’s so like Leviathan to make a robot in order to study human behavior. That’s why he was so focused on Haru and didn’t pay much attention to his other “friends”. He was incomplete.

As such, it’s no surprise that he wasn’t good with people when he was little. He may have learnt to be a good “person” from Haru and therefore he saved himself with the power of friendship.

Shutmon shouldn’t follow Yuujin blindly. He was clearly uncomfortable. If you don’t want to do as he says, then don’t. The applidriver doesn’t control the appmon. The basis of the pairing is that both buddies are on the same page (Hackmon said it himself).

I thought Offmon had progressed and was more confident. If he was able to stand up for himself and do the right thing he could have gained my respect.

I knew this would happen. The appgattai needs certain conditions to be achieved, but they just created a new rule at the last minute for plot convenience. That’s what happens when you waste time. But what can I expect if they never fully explained the mechanisms?

I feel bad for the old man that was learning to use the cellphone. After this, he will never get near a phone in his life ever again.

I was angry with Haru for a while. He and Gatchmon didn’t move a finger to stop Bootmon and Yuujin. I know he felt terrible, but he could deal with his feelings later. Maybe Rei can pass Elena’s words to him.

Speaking of whom...yes, he sounded harsh, but that’s Rei. Always being the rock of the group and doing what’s needed. I always thought he would break at some point, but he always kept going. He and Haru have equal inner strenght. Haru proved it in his confrontation with Knight.

That’s why I was furious. He’s not fragile as Unryuuji. It was like seeing Juri 2.0. I cannot believe he bought Yuujin’s lie. If he wanted to be a main character he should have done the right thing and stopped Yuujin, because he never gave him the strenght. It was in him all along.

The others just went through something much worse than a simple treason and they could overcome that. While I was sorry for him, I didn’t shed a single tear. On the other hand I couldn’t stop crying with Eri, Astra, Rei and their buddies (plus Hajime). Their partnerships are so well developed and are good examples. 

What Gatchmon said was beautiful, pero están mezclando peras con manzanas. It has nothing to do with Haru’s question. They just changed his whole arc and drive out of nowhere, wtf. It was just like Takato’s drastic shift in the end.

And as emotional as the goggles symbology was, I think it could have been done better. Eri, Astra and Rei could have somehow contacted him and reassure him thanking him for changing their lives.

Although the music was anticlimatic once again, the designs are beautiful, except Uranusmon...wtf is that thing? Their voices sound so weird that is hilarious. And is nice that Hadesmon’s attack names are in greek. Besides, is funny that the kids are now the floating chips. 

Eri, Astra and Rei interactions were the best. Why did the staff took so much time to develop the story? We could have missions with these 3 so much sooner.

Rebootmon didn’t get an eyecatch. Even Deusmon had one lol.

I loved the teamwork and how they were opening the way for their mates. And of course the relationship between Doka and his aniki couldn’t be forgotten.

Haru wasn’t even scared about falling, he just summoned Gaiamon. He has grown a lot. I’m so proud of him (I’m also proud of Eri for fighting Yuujin, but that “Pose-chan” plz xD)

If Minerva was sleeping all this time...how she kept track of them via cameras? And how did she put them to test after they lost their buddies? Even in the finale we have plotholes *sigh*. And when she finally does something, she dies lol. Poor Den’emon, now he’s furious.

They should have used Dive as soundtrack for the final battle, not Gatchen u.u. Gaiamon is doing everything (deja algo para los demás). Wow, the camera movements are awesome.

You did well, little fellows. I laughed with my edgy duo. At least Rei gave Hackmon that nutritive jelly to recharge energy after the battle.

FINALLY!! It took 52 episodes to go to the Dark Web. It’s the opposite of how I imagined.It looks so clean (reminds me of Matrix), but is still scary.

Leviathan called them “Chosen Children”.I love how this series still has the concept of choices. It’s like Jou said: “We’re the Chosen, but it’s us the ones who choose”.

Yuujin’s death didn’t moved me as Dokamon saying that Eri wouldn’t see her mother again. I cried. What I didn’t expect to cry with was the appmon staying with their buddies. I thought they were gonna leave, but seeing them together made me sooo happy.

Oh look! IT’S KNIGHT!! And Afro-san also comes back (after like who knows how many episodes). And Bootmon is safe. But could you explain how Offmon survived and moreover...how is he ok after losing his buddy?

Why did they bring Den’emon back to life? He’s too old and is just gonna suffer. He died, let him stay in digital heaven. He seemed happy there.

I cannot believe that Haru became kinda selfish. Even his mom died and he only cared about Yuujin. If you want to become a scientist, don’t you have a better reason like help humanity? Boy, you have to learn to live with loss. Why is everything unhealthy around that kid? *sigh*

I think this may be the most satisfying ending of all seasons. I got what I wanted and the door is open for others to get what they want. I suppose I can live with that (but not using Gaia and Hades abilities was a waste).

Nooo!! This is really the end T_T. They should have included the Lab section with the characters saying goodbye. Unless they’re planning a 2nd season. Anyway, thank you for everything. It was an amazing year.