#hes big menacing and weird. hes panda

[blueishspace]

Looped sun 4

Loop #127

Scar and Scott were admiring the view of 20 hermits running around like headless chickens while wearing dragon heads.

Scott: What did Grian do this time?

Scar: Oh you know...

Scott: I don't.

Scar: Started a game of demise...and then put curse of binding dragon heads on them while they were sleeping.

Scott: Oh. Hmmm... do you think he can do that in 3rd Life or something-

Grian: Why didn't I think of that!?!! Also, hi Scott.

Loop #130

Scar: Grian come with me!

Grian: Wha-

Scar: No time!

Scar tears Grian way just as a zombie tries to get a swing on him.

Grian: Scar what's going on!?

Scar: It's a crafting dead loop!

Grian: Well then.

Loop #134

Scott: Scar you look happy today.

Grian: It's his last loop, he had a rollercoaster tycoon loop.

Scott: Guessing because of Scarland?

Grian: I mean probably.

Scar: Do you want to see the theme park?

Scott: ... I mean sure but how?

Scar: I put it in my susbpace.

Scott: Subspace?

Grian: You did what!?!

Scar: Yeah! I do that with every theme park I make so I can combine them into one mega theme park!

Loop #136

It took Grian 2 days to realize something was wrong, it took him a week to realize what exactly it was and an additional day to think about how much he hated the world tree sometimes.

Grian: Of course this had to happen.

Scar: Uh?

Grian: Scar? Is the sun big?

Loop #141

The server was corrupted, covered in mycelium and mushrooms. X had tried his best but he too couldn't defeat the mushroom menace...and there...the cause of it smiled wickedly...

X: Who are-

Only to be interrupted by Scar.

Scar: How did you do this!?!

Grian: Had a MHA loop, looped as Kinoko. It's an op quirk really.

Scar: Oohhh, carry on then.

X: W-what are the two you talking about?

Loop #143

Scott: You know , eventually this loop will end.

Grian: Yeah? The tree isn't going to be broken forever.

Scott: In maybe billions or trillions or maybe more years... what will we be like?

Scar: I- uh. I never really tought about it.

Grian: Very different probably, I'd hate to stagnate.

Scott: I mean, Scar you are a demigod now and Grian is already a full on god!

Grian: Titan-

Scott: Details. And we have been looping just more then 100 times! What will happen in the next whoknowsillions of loops?

Scar: I-...

Scott: I'm just...scared.

Loop #145

Grian: No Scar, I'm not going full sun titan at the boat boys just because they burnt your pandas.

Scar: Please?

Grian: No

Scar: Pleeeeaaaase?

Grian: No.

Scar: Please please please please please?

Grian: ... I'll do it... but not full full I'm not vaporizing anyone this time.

Scar: ... I'll take it!

Loop #148

It was Double Life this time... Wait what? Double Life again? Pearl couldn't understand how or why. Why would she of all people be sent back to Double Life? She wasn't going to waste this or anything but it was still confusing.

Scott didn't get it, Double Life started like normal and then Pearl joined in... That never really happened before but it could have been explained by a variant. Then she wasn't surprised when they discovered that they were soulbound or when Jimmy and Tango died.

Scott was acting really weird, he would just look at Pearl without reason. And he acted so... Bored? Pearl couldn't put her finger on it but something was off.

Scott really needed to know what was going trough Pearl's head, she just annhilated all their enemies... This was so so so weird...

Pearl was frozen, it was just her and Scott again, was he going to blow himself up again? She knew it was a game but it wasn't very plesant the first time around.

Pearl: Scott! No! Not again?

Scott: Wait again? Is time... reapeating for you?

Pearl: You too!?!

Scott: Wait, the whole game?

Pearl: We didn't notice?

Scott: Well, fuck me I guess. Grian and Scar will never let me live this down.

Loop #152

Pearl: I always wanted to be in season 7, mate!

Grian: Well here you are! What do you think?

Pearl: It's so...weird? In a good way.

Scar: Want to see what I'm working on?

Pearl: Are you kidding me mate? Of course I want to!

Grian was drinking tea when Pearl became mayor, honestly he didn't mind anymore at least this one made sense.

Loop #155

Spiderman: Poultry man is something wrong man?

Grian: I...it's a...loop thing.

Spiderman: I'm listening.

Grian: I did a ping at the beginning and I'm sure Pearl is here too but I can't find her anywhere? I'm worried she might be in danger.

Spiderman: Oh that's a problem, well sometimes Yggdrasil likes to have fun, is there something from baseline that could tell you where she might be?

Grian: I guess there's the scarlet Pea- oh ...

Pietro: Sister, when will we go not that we are free?

Pearl: Oh, I just know a place.

Loop #157

Grian: If you could choose the next new looper who would you choose? I would choose...Mumbo.

Scar: Oh Mumbo too...or Cub! Cub would be fun.

Grian: The multiverse isn't ready for a looper Cub.

Scott: Jimmy, it would be nice I think. Lizzie and Joel too.

Pearl: I'm going to say Gem or Cleo, there are way too many guys now. No offence.

Scar: Wha- That's not true! We-

Scar was quickly shut up by the wave of an hand and a bit of chaos magic.

Loop #160

Scott: A roleswap variant? I think I'm in Grian's place?

Grian: Uh... alone in Double Life. I think I'm in Pearl's.

Pearl: I got Scar's so I'm guessing Scar got Scott's place.

Grian: Does that mean Scar is alone in Empires right now?

...

...

Scott: I'll get you into the server before the paperwork kills him again.

Grian: Thank you.

Loop #162

Grian woke up with an headache in a middle of a room... after looking around for a bit he realized he never saw this place before. Cautiously he sent out a ping and-

Scott: Welcome!

Grian: Scott!? Where are you? What is this place?

Scott: I present to you my first looper proof escape room!

Grian: No, it can't be...

Scott: But it is!

Pearl: Mate?

Scott: Yeah?

Pearl: I hate you.

Scott: Fair enough.

Pearl: I will get revenge.

Scott: ... Worth it.

Scar: I did it! So fast too!

Scott: ...

Scar: Scott?

Scott: *sigh* Scar...

Scar: What's wrong?

Scott: That was only the first room.

Scar: Nooooo!

Loop #165

Grian woke up in a room, only one window into the outside. It took him 3 seconds to connect the dot.

Grian: Ok, I'm starting to get tired of the sun stuff now. It's a bit predictable.

Of course he had to loop as Rapunzel... at least the healing incantation might come in handy in future loops.

Loop #168

Scott: I know what you are Scar.

Scar: Eh?!? Where did you-

Scott: I finally understand.

Scar: Uhhh understand what?

Scott: Why you ask Grian to go titan-god mode so often.

Scar: I just...find it cool.

Scott: Quite the opposite, you find it hot don't you?

Scar: What? No-

Scott: I'm onto you.

Loop #169

Grian walked to his base to see all of his chests and shulks floating in midair and moving to organise themselves in rows.

Grian: How are you doing that?

Pearl: Oh, I got a Star Wars Loop. Became a sith. You know the drill.

Scar: WHY DOES EVERYONE GET A STAR WARS LOOP BUT ME!?! WHY!??

Grian: ... You learnt to use the force and you are...organising my storage system??? ...why are you like this?

Loop #172

Scott: Another bad loop?

Grian: Unfortunately.

Scott: Want to talked about it.

Grian: Got looped as Ghostbur and was stuck in Limbo for 20 years.

Scott: ...Yikes.

Loop #175

Pearl had been at this way too long, the urge to just use chaos magic was tempting but it was a question of principle.

Katara: You are pushing way too hard, It's not going to work if you try to order it around... It's a push and pull.

Pearl: Push and pull.

Katara: Look at the ocean and moon, the movement of the tides. Feel the natural push and pool around you and coax the water like the moon does.

Pearl: Like the moon you say? Push....and pull...push and pull.

Katara: See, you are learning quickly, isn't it much better now?

Pearl: It is. Thank you.

Prev Next First

[emilynightshade89]

Alright. Here's the Norman au I was thinking up.....

mini Turning Red!AU !! :D

The reason I say "mini" is because I don't think I'll be writing this up as a full story, so I'll just post it for fun. 💜

So to start off!!!

Instead of poofing into a giant red panda, Norman poofs into a regular sized cat whenever Goblin takes over.

No one know why or how this happened. (Least of all Doctor Strange later on.)

When Norman first poofs into a cat its during the scene where Peter 1's spidey senses go off but instead of the intense scene that follows, there's just a big *poof* of green smoke that goes off behind him. While he and Otto cough their way out of the room, Otto calls out for Norman and tries to reach for him through in the smoke with his metal arms but to no avail. Otto becomes worried and Peter still senses something wrong. When they make it out of the room Peter squares up, looking for the possible threat when suddenly.....an orange blur zooms out of the green smoke and darts it's way underneath the couch in the living room.

Everyone jumps. Max walks over and tries to take a look but ends up getting a scratch that's followed by a warning growl. "You got a cat by any chance Parker??"

Cautiously, its Otto, Peter and even May who approach the couch next. Peter with his sense still going, Otto prepared with his arms ready to grab anything that moves and May with a kitchen towel ready to grab the cat safely without any harm to herself or the feline.

With Peter in the lead, he kneels down to peak under the couch, and he sees a frizzy orange tabby cat with bright green eyes death staring at him underneath the couch. "May?? Happy didn't happen to have a cat over we didn't know about did he?" May confirms she doesn't think so and with Norman mysteriously gone and his spidey sense stopped buzzing, Peter has a crazy weird idea.

"No way...." Peter mutters, "I'm just gonna grab him. C'mere buddy....its ok no one's gonna-" *cat screeches and Peter screaming*

Peter yanks his arm out from underneath the couch and attached to it is an angry feral mess of fur, claws, and teeth of a cat that has personally dedicated the poor boy's arm as its scratching post. Otto yelps in surprise, his metal arms hiss, and May is quick to wrap the towel around the little beast, quickly imprisoning him in a burrito wrap. The tiny terror is left hissing and yowling at everything and everyone with an outstretched paw clawing viciously towards Peter.

Peter: "What the hell kind of cat is that!?!?" *cat hisses*

It takes them all a good half hour to calm down. Peter goes to the bathroom to clean up the bleeding scratches on his arm with Otto’s help. He’s still worried about where Norman could be and that’s when Peter thinks about bringing up his earlier thought but passes for thinking it’s still a weird conclusion. 

Max keeps his distance from May sitting on the couch as she holds the green-eyed menace in her arms still wrapped in the towel. He’s stopped trying to escape but not without a few wiggling tries, hisses at anyone passing by, and near attempts at biting May’s arm when she’s distracted. Flint sits next to her and helps keep an eye on him since he’s made of sand and can’t be bitten or scratched. May talks about some feral kittens she used to foster once that were like this and tries to sooth the feline in her grasp with soft pets and scratches behind the ears.

Goblin: *thinking* I swear, when you release me.....i’ll...*gets sleepy*........kill.......you..........*leans into May’s pets*....all.........*falls asleep*

Once Peter is bandaged up he’s about to bring up his thoughts to the six armed man, but before he can utter a word, there’s another poof of green smoke that goes off right in May’s lap as she cries out in alarm. Flint jumps away, and as Peter and Otto burst back into the living room, stumbling from May’s arms and onto the floor is a shocked, blue-eyed Norman Osborn with a dish towel covering half of his face and looking around wildly as if someone’s just rudely pushed him out of bed. “What the hell just happened????”       

[11queensupreme11]

Hakari vs Hajime

I saw the leaks for chapter 188 and I’m like... go Hajime, but Hakari, pls don’t die 💀

I don’t really care who wins or loses in this fight, I just want them both to LIVE 😭 But since this is Gege we’re talking about, one of them might die so here’s my guesses as to what might happen. 

If any of my made-up scenarios actually happen, I will squeal and call myself a seer. 

Guess 1

Hajime wins and kills Hakari 😢 

This might cement Hajime as the next big bad villain cuz so far, all we have is Sukuna and Kenjaku and something tells me we aren’t close to reaching a major fight with them. Having Hajime as the next “big bad” would be super cool in my opinion. 

Since he’s on the hunt for Sukuna, he’ll probably find Yuji (poor baby, can people pls leave this lil guy alone 🥺). Back in chapter 12, Gojo states “in due time, your (Yuji’s) body will learn Sukuna’s cursed technique!”

I’m pretty sure this means that Yuji’s basically gonna pull a Deku and gain Sukuna’s technique and learn to use it on his own (I don’t know if Gege’s gonna make him actually master it perfectly though. There’s a difference between learning how to do something and becoming a master at it). 

So far, we haven’t seen Yuji use any of Sukuna’s powers (unless I forgot, oopsies), so having Hajime would be the perfect way to do it! I don’t think Hajime would get to really fight Sukuna cuz that might end up... really short, so Yuji vs Hajime would be more plausible. Will Yuji win??? Probably not! 😃 BUT he might gain Sukuna’s technique and use it against Hajime since a major fight like this would be the best place to give Yuji a power up rather than doing it during a small minor fight. It’ll be more impactful that way in my opinion. 

Guess 2

Hajime wins the fight, but doesn’t kill Hakari or Panda (or kills one of them but whatever, that doesn’t matter). 

I found a comment about this on YouTube and I really liked it. So basically they were saying that maybe Hajime decides to hold Hakari and Panda hostage rather than killing them outright to draw Yuji to him rather than having to find him himself. 

Panda’s a good boy so he won’t tell Hajime about Yuji. Hakari, however, has no personal ties with Yuji. He also knows that he and Sukuna have some sort of connection cuz during the preparation arc, Megumi and Yuji were literally talking about Yuji’s ties to Sukuna with Hakari and Kirara listening on in confusion. Hakari might give up info to Hajime by saying some shit like “all I know is that you should probably look for Itadori. He has some weird connection with Sukuna”.

During the perfect preparation arc, one of the team’s goals was to make a rule allowing for communication between players and to travel between colonies. I can see Hajime using his remaining 100 points to make a rule about communication and contacting Yuji to be like “yo I got your classmates. Get your ass over here so I beat you up or I’ll kill them” because he’s a straight-up menace 👹

Yuji goes there, then the scenario from “guess 2″ happens with him getting a power up while fighting Hajime.

Guess 3

Hakari wins and Hajime dies 😔

Idk what happens other than Hakari just goes on his merry way to Build A Bear to get Panda fixed and... yeah, that’s all I got for this scenario 😅

Also, I can’t really see Hakari killing Hajime?? To be honest, I think Hajime’s the stronger one between the two because most of his attacks against Hakari have been seriously lethal and had it not been for Hakari’s immortality, he really would’ve died quickly. Meanwhile, Hakari’s attacks (so far) have been either blocked by Hajime or they hit, but didn’t do much damage compared to Hajime’s more... brutal attacks

(Then again, Hakari’s gunning for Hajime’s points so I don’t think he’s trying to kill him. He might be holding back)

Guess 4

Neither of them wins cuz the fight gets interrupted or a rule to travel between colonies is made (if the latter happens, then Hajime might fuck off to go find Sukuna in the other colonies)

[robinrequiems]

Ok how does it goes when cashier Damian invites Jon in? Like, I'm laughing at the possibilities of Dick embarrassing Dames. Oooooh and the pets reacting to Jonnn

OO YES OKAY

• when Damian invites jon in, it is because it started storming really bad and jon couldn’t see the road.

• plus damian accidentally pushed jon when leaving. jon fell. and his glasses fell. he needs his glasses when he doesn’t have contacts in.

• he. he stepped on his glasses.

• j’s nearsighted(?) I think that’s the right term, he can’t see from far away.

• but anyways, the two boys travel up the shitty apartment and low and behold.

• fatass ( affectionate ) titus runs up and tries to tackle jon. sorry j.

Damian: Titus! Down boy!

Jon, laughing: he’s your dog?

Damian: yeah, obviously

Dick: Damian- you’re back! —with a boy:)?

Damian: shut up.

• alfred was just trying to clean and two very wet boys were standing there: “get inside, you are getting water everywhere.”

Dick: mmmm, you finally brought him around? thought you were never gonna huh

Damian: shut up, richard!

Jon: oh. my dad said hi

Dick: you should invite Clark over here! I haven’t seen him in quite sometime. He still ripping his shirts?

Jon: yup. he unexpectedly goes and plays football with the boys

• Clark was apart of a metropolis football team, like a big 1, apart of the nfl. his signature thing was ripping off a button up shirt

Dick: he talks about you a lot. also, did you grow?

Jon: yeah, my dad says I’ll probably be his height or something

Dick: give Damian some of that height, lord knows he needs it

Damian: shut up, richard!

• alfred had made them tomato soup and hot chocolate

Dick: keep the door open!

Damian: sHUT UP, RICHARD!

Jon:, choosing to ignore that: is that a cat?

Damian: nooo, it’s a rat

Jon: nice rat then

Damian:

• jon and Damian just hung around, playing video games and jon asking Damian questions until dumbass dick came in

Dick: hey, jon, i don’t think the roads are clearing up anytime soon. I think it’d be safer for you to stay here.

Jon: really? aw man.. I gotta call me dad.

Damian: I’ll get the extra blankets and pillows onto the couch.

Dick: awww you don’t want him sharing the bed you? :((

Damian, this close to strangling him:

• damian and jon ended up watching a movie in the living room, dick finally leaving them alone and the pets just hanging out with him

• damian uh. accidentally watched jon sleep until dick came in

dick: did you take melatonin? you’re normally knocked out by now

Damian: oh. i forgot.

dick: your mind too busy because of someone?

Damian: shut up, I’m going to bed

dick: sweet dreams:)

• his brother is a menace

• luckily jon is a very heavy sleeper.

• lois and Clark ended up driving over because they didn’t want jon driving without his glasses or contacts

• but jon got to stay for the morning with damian. a very grouchy Damian who he found out didn’t like being woken up

Jon: he threw a book at me!

Dick: oh yeah, you need to use titus to wake him up, he’s not a morning person

• titus loved jon, alfred didn’t care for him honestly

• damian only has 2 pets in this au😔

Jon: so you invited me in, I’m getting closer to you huh?

Damian, chewing gum: do you really think that? this is clearly my way of getting close to you and then stealing all your money

Jon: you could just be my sugar baby and then get my money

Damian: I’m older than you

Jon: and?

• they have a weird back and forth.

• the next time jon comes to see Damian, he ends up getting Damian a pin, what pin is it? a baby panda

• damian puts it on his backpack

• jon was absolutely beaming when he was invited into damians house, he also knew damian felt bad that he broke his glasses— accidentally but

• jon smiled though at the thought, it showed that Damian cared in his own way

[inskz]

lucky charm - lee minho

pairing - lee minho x reader

genre - college!au, best friends to lovers, very cliche fluff (lucky girl starring lindsey lohan kinda vibes???)

words - 4k

note - this is just a cute little drabble i wrote while im still waiting for my covid test results to come back so that i can leave my room and see the sun again 🤪 pls be careful everybody take care of your health 💚 enjoy!!!

- - - - -

“You must be kidding me,” you sigh when you see Minho’s hand has turned into a fist, his rock crushing miserably your scissors. Once again, you lost at rock, paper, scissors. And once again, you’re the one that is going to wash your best friend’s dishes that have piled up in is tiny kitchen sink throughout the week.

“Fuck that. This is so unfair,” you grumble, throwing the dishtowel in Minho’s stupid yet perfectly chiseled face.

You make a beeline for his bed, which is actually only a few steps away from the kitchen. Being a broke college student definitely doesn’t allow him to rent a spacious studio, let alone a two-room apartment. You throw yourself headfirst onto his uncomfortable mattress, whose springs always poke your back at night.

“Life is so unfair,” your friend mocks you, dragging out every vowel of his sentence dramatically.

No doubt, you would be strangling him at that very moment if you weren’t so busy playing dead, hoping he would forget about your pitiful existence.

But there is no way mister Lee Minho would miss out on an opportunity to have his gross plates cleaned by someone else. Grabbing onto your ankle, he drags you out of bed until you plop down on the dirty carpeted floor (Minho has the unfortunate tendency to procrastinate vacuuming too). At this point, you are fake crying, throwing a literal tantrum, like a 6 years old child would.

“Life is unfair!” you yell, your feet kicking in the air in pure anger.

At least it is to you. You can’t remember the last time you’ve been lucky. The only instance you got remotely close to it was when you found a four-leaf clover last summer. Well, only if you disregard the fact you stepped into dog poop  on your way to picking it. Oh and that you were wearing brand new white Converse. 

On the other hand, it seems like the boy has the whole crew of the Olympus gods on his side. Not one day goes by without his guardian angel manifesting its presence. 

Minho has always been the lucky type. The type to get an extra nugget in his box of 10. To find 20 dollars bills on the ground. To win every single Instagram giveaway he participates to (and lord knows how much he likes participating to them). 

But how can you be mad at him when he always happily shares his food with you, invites you to the restaurant without you even asking, and gives you his prizes, pretending he doesn’t need them? You don’t believe him when he says he see no use in a panda onesie or a waterproof bluetooth speaker. Deep down, you know it’s his way to silently love you. 

But well, you can still blame him for occasionally taking advantage of your misfortune to make you do his dreaded house chores, just like right now. 

Everyone thinks you are a bizarre duo. Even you can’t fathom how in hell you two became best friends, considering how awfully your first encounter went three years ago. 

On orientation day, he asked you for the time, probably because his phone was dead (or maybe because he was dying to talk to you?)

Without hesitation, you lifted and rotated your wrist so that you could see your watch. Little did you remember; you never actually owned a watch and you were holding a fancy 7 dollars iced coffee, which, of course, did not have a lid on because plastic is bad for the environment (duh). 

Minho couldn’t help but burst out in hysterical laughter when the whole drink spilled on your jeans. For your defense, you didn’t sleep at all the night before  since you were terrified of being alone in your new dorm room the first few days (weird stuff happens all the time in dorms, okay?). If he had asked you for your name, you probably wouldn’t even have been able to tell him. 

But Minho thought you were the funniest person on campus, and he really needed a clown like you to entertain him throughout his endless college semesters. That’s what he told you anyways. Not that he thought you were the cutest human being he had ever seen. 

Why would he when you are the literal definition of a mess: always having toothpaste stains on your sweater, bags under your eyes, messy hair, tripping and falling, missing buses, breaking things, losing stuff. 

Most of the time, you just forget your keys and Minho lets you crash at his place since he hasn’t got any roommate and he isn’t used to sleeping alone, especially without his cats. It surely isn’t because he loves waking up next to a very groggy but adorable you every single morning, no.  

Minho manages to bring you back to the countertop despite your reluctance. Positioned behind you, his arms trapping your body to make sure you can’t run away from your duties, he dips your hands into the soapy water, and you can’t help but squirm at the touch of an unknown substance sticking to a plate that has probably been soaking here for a week. You despise doing the dishes and your friend knows it.

You hear him giggle in your ear while he is playing with your arms like you are some type of marionette, making you to take the sponge and squeeze dish soap onto it. 

You’ve never been the kind to like proximity nor seemed to be Minho, but for some reason, you always end up glued to each other. You hate public displays of attention and pet names a little less when it comes from him. Or maybe you don’t hate it at all and actually crave it every single minute that goes by.

Before he has the time to come up with the Machiavellian idea to soak your pajamas in dirty water (because you know he would inevitably have at some point), you yank his hands off of you and start scrubbing angrily the dirty cups. 

Minho stays behind you anyways, observing your every move, his chin propped up on your shoulder like a curious little bird. To be honest, his presence is kind of getting overwhelming. But whatever, it’s not like his slightest touch makes your heart warm up in comfort or that he smells like fresh linen drying out on the porch of a cottage house on a sunny Sunday morning or anything. 

“You missed a spot. Here” he murmurs teasingly, his lips almost touching your earlobe, while he points at the handle of his hideous ‘world’s greatest dad’ mug Jisung gifted him last christmas. 

You know he has noticed the way you shivered violently at the feeling of his breath tickling your skin because he starts snickering loudly. 

“I swear to god if you don’t shut up and go seat on the couch, I’ll slap you so hard with this spatula you’ll regret you were even born,” you say, turning around suddenly to menace him with the plastic utensil. 

Of course, he isn’t afraid one bit. Right now, you really wish you could make the smug, but oh so attractive, look on his face disappear. 

“Alright, ma’am” he laughs, holding up his hands in surrender. “I’ll let you do your thing”. He lets himself fall onto his dingy couch. 

You can hear him humming one of his favorite songs above the sound of the water running. It would probably be getting on your nerves if his voice wasn’t so pretty.  

“Chan’s sick, so we’re not going to the gym tomorrow night. Do you wanna eat tacos? El Huero has even better deals than usual” he asks you, scrolling mindlessly through his phone. 

“Aren’t the deals supposed to be on Tuesdays?” You frown and scrub a little harder the frying pan Minho has burnt the night before while trying to make chocolate chips pancakes for diner, because why eat savory food when you can have dessert for every meal, right? It is one of the few advantages of living without your parents you both truly enjoy. 

“Yeah, that’s what I said. Tomorrow,” he yawns, probably exhausted after what you put him through last night. You forced him to catch up on the entire season of Love Island because you desperately needed someone to bitch with, and what better partner than Lee Minho.  

You take a quick glance at him and see him stretching himself across the cushions like a cat. You always thought there was something feline about his features. While you’re drying the mugs with the dishtowel, your mind wanders uncontrollably, thinking about his piercing eyes, his delicate nose, the corners of his lips that curl up a little… 

All of the sudden, your hands freeze. Minho is too immersed in TikToks to notice the stupor on your face. “Wait. Today is… Monday?” you stutter. 

Alarmed by the sound of your voice, his eyes finally leave his phone’s screen to look up at you. “Yeah” he repeats slowly as if you are the dumbest person he has ever encountered. 

And you truly are. You are pretty sure your heart has stopped beating. Minho’s “world’s greatest dad” mug you’re holding slips between your fingers and comes crashing on the floor with a deafening sound. The pieces are now scattered all around you, making you unable to make out what’s written on it anymore. Not a big loss, if you ask. 

“Y/N, you know that’s my favorite mug!” he exclaims, leaping up from the couch. “I’m sure you did it on purpose,” he mutters while he’s trying to collect the small fragments, in vain. 

But you’re too shocked at this very moment to pay attention to the glare your friend is giving you. To be honest, Minho has only two moods: glaring at you or teasing you.  

“My interview,” you finally manage to say, and Minho’s eyes go wide as he realizes the critical situation you’re in. 

You check the time on the microwave: 10:45. In 30 minutes, you’re supposed to be on the other side of town, being interrogated by boring businessmen that are going to decide whether or not you’ll be accepted for a paid internship in one of the most reputable music label of the country. Basically, decide whether you’ll live a happy and fulfilling life, working in the sector you’ve always dreamed of or end up miserable with a boring office job and a massive college debt. 

“Holy shit,” Minho whispers. You can see a wave of panic washing across his face for a split second, but, as always, he manages to find his composure back immediately. 

He has never been the kind to lose his cool, except to scold you when you forget the names of his cats and their respective coats’ color (which you unfortunately often did forget). 

“What are you doing? Get dressed!” He tells you when he sees you’re still standing there dumbfounded in the kitchen, like the famous Robert Pattinson meme, wearing an oversize Kermit the frog shirt with a dozen holes in it and his favorite Adidas sweatpants you always stole from him.

“No, it’s too late. I can’t make it,” you mutter, your breath short. You’re paralyzed, as if there is a 20lbs rock sitting at the bottom of your stomach, pinning you to the ground. 

This isn’t bad luck, you think. This is karma. This is what you get for skipping classes to watch telereality shows in your bed with your best friend and not even realizing it isn’t the weekend anymore.

“Miss me with that bullshit.” He runs to his closet and rummages through his drawers, throwing every piece of clothing that’s on his way to find an appropriate outfit that would fit you. 

“You’re gonna go do this interview even if I have to drag you all the way there.” He pushes you into his bathroom since you still haven’t moved an inch. 

You manage to brush your teeth and your hair, fighting through the nauseous feeling that is building up in your tummy. 

When you come back to the living room, Minho has found dress pants and a sweater that might not look utterly ridiculous on you. He lets you change in a corner, while he runs around the room collecting all your essentials. 

“You’re coming?” you ask him when you see he is already wearing his puffer jacket.  

“You really think I’m gonna let you go all by yourself when you’re literally not even able to put your shoes on properly”. You are, indeed, struggling with your laces, as if your fingers are suddenly made out of butter. 

Minho ties them up for you and you literally feel like he’s your babysitter. You know you’re gonna hear about this for months – what are you saying- years! But all you can think about at the moment though, is the fact that sneakers are definitely not appropriate for an interview. 

He throws your warmest coat at you, grab his keys, and by some type of miracle, you’re both out to the door in less than 10 minutes. 

You try to call the elevator, but Minho grabs your arm and leads you to the staircase. His hand never leaving yours, he runs down the stairs and you have no choice but to follow him as fast as you can. 

You can’t count how many times you missed a step and fell at this particularly slippery spot, between the 5th and the 4th floor, but weirdly enough, it doesn’t happen today. 

When you finally reach the ground floor, you exit the complex and Minho hops on his old and rusty bike that he had attached to nearest tree the night before.

“There’s no way I’m riding behind you on this death machine,” you laugh nervously. The memory of that one time Minho convinced you to seat into his bicycle basket (as if you could even realistically fit in it) and you both fell seconds after he started to pedal is coming back to your mind.

Sure, it was after a long night of drinking, you were both tipsy and it was the only way to get you home since you had spent all your uber money at the bar, but still! You’re pretty sure the bruise on your butt hasn’t disappeared to this day.  

“Hurry up,” Minho groans, ignoring your complaint. You unwillingly seat on his flimsy pannier rack and wrap your arms around his torso. 

You haven’t even left, yet you’re already holding onto his puffer jacket for dear life. A giggle escapes your friend’s mouth (which you think is very inappropriate in such a desperate situation) before he lifts his feet off the ground and starts pedaling. 

You try to ignore the loud squeaking of the bicycle drive by shutting your eyes tighter and rehearsing your introduction you have prepared over and over in your head. No matter how hard you are trying, you can’t remember what you are supposed to say just after your age (which, as you can imagine, isn’t really far into your monologue). 

By the way the wind is lashing your face, you can tell Minho has picked up the speed. His breathing is getting louder, his heartbeat faster and you can’t help but think you’re probably way too heavy for him to bike you around like that. Maybe he shouldn’t skip his gym sessions with Chan so often. Or maybe you shouldn’t have eaten the leftover pancakes for breakfast after all.

You find the courage to open your eyelids and are pleased to see you’re already halfway there, probably because every single one of the traffic lights you encounter is green, and your friend is going surprisingly fast. Is luck finally starting to smile upon you? 

Your mad race comes to a halt when you reach the address of your interview. You hop off the bike and so does Minho who, by the way, is a panting mess. He’s barely able to catch his breath, strands of hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, but he’s beaming at you when he realizes you’re just on time. 

“Go” he gasps, pushing you in the direction of the building’s hall. 

You walk up to the glass door but as your hands are about to push it, you pull a 180. Your friend sighs loudly, already knowing what’s coming next. 

“Wait. No. I can’t do this. I’m not prepared” you tell him frantically. “I’m freaking out. I think I’m gonna pass out.” You are now walking in circles, mumbling incoherently. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” 

Your heart is racing in your chest and your hands are getting clammy at the simple thought of failure. But guess what? You can’t fail if you don’t even try! One more good reason to just go back to bed and forget about your sad life for a good 8 hours, right? 

“Y/N, you’re the most talented person I know, you’re gonna do just fine” Minho catches you in his arm to stop your endless pacing. You would probably think this gesture is endearing if it wasn’t just meant to make sure you couldn’t run for your life.  

“No, I’m not. What if I throw up in front of everybody like that one time during the Romeo and Juliet musical?” You look up at him and his face is only inches away from yours. You’re sure you would be swooning at how beautiful he looks if you weren’t so terrified at this very moment.

“You were nine,” your best friend says, and you swear you have never heard him speak to you in such a sweet tone before. His voice is like honey and lavander but it doesn’t soothe you like it should. 

You manage to break free from his embrace to crouch down, in an attempt to slow down your breathing. If only you had data left, you could be watching those short relaxing videos on your phone. They always work. But no, you had to spent it all on online games, just one week into the month. You really are beyond help.  

“Y/N I know you’re scared, but if you miss out on this opportunity, you’re gonna regret it for the rest of your life.” Minho is lowering himself so that you can hear him, even though you’re curled up in a ball. 

“And I’m warning you, I won’t want to hear you complain about it,” he adds, this whole situation obviously starting to get on his nerves. 

If you were him, you would have probably left a long time ago. But this isn’t your best friend’s way of behaving. You know he would never abandon you no matter how annoying you could be (and you could be very annoying sometimes). After all, he is always the one holding your hair while you puke in the toilets when you had a couple too many drinks.

It takes all your willpower to stand up but there is no other way, you have to do it. You can hear the time ticking dangerously in your mind, as if your brain had turned into a clock.

“You’re right. Slap me,” you say, looking at him straight in the eyes, dead serious. 

“Wha -“

“Slap some sense into me. They do that in movies when people are panicking. It’s like throwing a bucket of cold water in someone’s face. But clearly we don’t have a bucket and we don’t have cold wa- “ you start blabbering. 

“What the fuck are you talking about? I’m not gonna slap you!” Your friend isn’t usually that horrified at the thought of beating your ass. In fact, he has felt the desire to rip your head off more than once, especially when you’d steal all the duvet at night, but at this moment he is just scared you might have actually lost your mind.  

“Just fucking do it Minho!” you scream, your hands clenching the front of his grey hoodie he always looks so divine in. 

Minho has never obeyed you, and this is not the day he is going to start. 

He puts both of his hands on the sides of your face and crashes his lips onto yours. 

You would be lying if you said you have never imagined the day your best friend would kiss you. It happens pretty much every single time you look at his cute pout a little too long. But one thing is certain, it isn’t like you pictured it to be at all.

You were convinced your heart would go so wild it would burst out of your chest and your head would spin so furiously you’d lose your balance. You thought your stomach would fill with butterflies to the brim and your whole body would be on fire.

But none of that is happening. On the contrary, every single muscle in your body relaxes under his touch. The way his soft mouth presses gently against yours makes you calmer, almost at peace amongst all this turmoil. 

Minho is kissing all your tension and stress away and you catch yourself letting a sigh of relief escape your parted lips.

As if you have kissed him already hundreds of times in your past life, Minho feels like home. He’s a safe haven you can always take refuge in during troubled times. Ever since the day you met, he has never left your side.

When he breaks away from the kiss, you notice your breath isn’t so ragged and your mind isn’t so foggy anymore. You’re serene. His cold hands are still cupping your face, slightly squishing your cheeks, and you feel like an idiot sandwich for asking him to slap you seconds before.

“That can work too, I guess…” you mutter.  

“You’re okay?” he asks, staring at you with the softest eyes you’ve ever seen.

You just nod, unable to say one more word, and sprint to the entrance, not wanting to make your interviewers wait any longer than they already have.

“Good luck!” You hear him yell just before the door closes behind you and you can’t help but grin from ear to ear.

- - - - - 

Thirty minutes later, you finally step out of the fancy lobby to find a very bored Minho leaning against a tree, patiently waiting for you.

“You’re still here?”

“Of course, I am,” he says, his mouth full of croissant. He gives you a large iced coffee he probably went buying to kill time. Your lips unconsciously curl up into a smile when you notice it comes from the same chain that the one you spilled on your lap on the day you first met him. 

“How did it go?” he asks you, sticking his buttery pastry into your mouth so that you can take a bite.

“Way better than I thought” you answer, right after you swallowed. You hate the way flakes would always get stuck between your teeth. But Minho is always there to warn you about it before anyone else notices, and even pick them for you if you can’t manage to, which, when you think about it, is kind of gross. 

There are two things the boy knows about you: you’re the greatest pessimist on earth and you’d rather die than admit you were wrong (especially if it meant he was right). So for you to even say it wasn’t that bad, means it went phenomenal. 

“I don’t want to say ‘I told you so’ but I told you so.” He smiles so wide you can barely see his eyes anymore. You have to look away, otherwise you know you might become instantly blinded by love.

“Maybe I could use some more of your luck” you mumble, staring at your shoes and kicking the red leaves that were surrounding your feet on this sunny autumn morning. 

“Really? And what makes you think I’ll share it with you,” he teases you, leaning forward to incite you to look at him in the eyes. 

“That.”

Your hand finds the back of his neck and pulls him in, in order to close the space that is still left between your mouths.

At first, Minho stiffens, taken aback by your bold move. But soon enough, he caves into your touch. He kisses you back fervently, like he means it. 

His fingers entagle in your hair, his arm wraps around your waist and his chest presses against your body. You’re melting in his embrace, submerged by a wave of bliss which he alone seems to know the recipe. 

It feels new, yet so familiar. Like it was supposed to happen, like it was written in the stars. 

He tastes like croissant and Americano. Like fortune and fate. 

And you can’t help but think you’re the luckiest person on earth.

Who cares about winning the lottery when Lee Minho is your lucky charm? 

[musicollage]

Atlas Sound. Logos, 2009. Kranky (USA) / 4AD (UK). ( Lyrics & Music – Bradford Cox )  ~ [ Album Review |   1) Pitchfork  +  2) Pop Matters  + 3) Drowned In Sound  +  4) NME  + 5) Prefix Magazine  ]

1) As we've gotten to know Bradford Cox over the last couple of years through shows, interviews, and blog posts, one of the Deerhunter frontman's most appealing qualities is his deep and nuanced appreciation of the music of others. Some musicians listen to records to see how they work, check out the competition, or trawl for ideas; by all available evidence, Cox feels records, deeply. If he was born without musical gifts and couldn't sing or play an instrument, one can imagine him working at a record store, amassing an enviable collection while driving people on a message board crazy with the sureness of his detailed opinions. Whatever you think of his exploits as an indie rock media figure, Cox's music fandom is easy to identify with and also offers a portal into his own work.

Atlas Sound, Cox's solo alias, in one sense serves as a sort of laboratory for figuring out what makes some his favorite music tick, away from the expectations of his main band. Two collaborations on Logos, the second Atlas Sound full-length, are excellent examples of how music listening can be absorbed into original work. First is "Walkabout", a track Cox wrote and recorded with Noah Lennox from Animal Collective, whom Cox got to know during a European tour. Though Cox's music shades dark and Lennox's is often flecked with uncertainty and doubt, "Walkabout" is the sunniest pop tune of either of their careers. Coasting on a buoyant, twinkling keyboard sample, it is a starkly catchy and irresistible, a clattery post-millennial Archies tune that straddles perfectly the border between simple and simplistic. Interestingly, it also sounds very much like a Panda Bear tune.

Then there is Lætitia Sadier of Stereolab, who wrote the lyrics and sings lead on Logos' "Quick Canal". The song opens with some gorgeously textured organ chords and soon a steady-state beat and drums rise up in the mix, setting the kind of relaxed-but-propulsive neo-krautrock scene that Stereolab perfected very early on. Here Cox gets to play the part of the late Mary Hansen, adding "la-di-da" trills behind Sadier as she intones phrases in her unfailingly lovely, for-the-ages voice. He even throws in a "Jenny Ondioline"-style rupture about halfway through, sending the track into a breathtaking shoegaze section for its final four minutes, wherein it floats magisterially on a pillow of shifting guitar feedback. "Quick Canal" is almost nine minutes long and it doesn't waste a second.

On these tracks, the confidence Cox shows in melting his aesthetic into the soundworld of other musicians is striking-- both are unqualified successes, very different from each other but among the best things Cox has ever done. But they also sound a lot like the music his collaborators are known for. Cox's sympathetic support and sense of how to construct songs with others suggests a desire to expand the parameters of what Atlas Sound can be. And given his willingness to let others take the microphone on an Atlas Sound project on these cuts, I can't help but go back to Cox's words on Logos before the album was released, which suggested that this was to be less introverted and that was "not about me."

And then I remember that the cover of the album consists of a photo of Cox with his shirt off and the lyrics in the first two songs start with the word "I", which suggests that we probably shouldn't take these statements very seriously. While the songs may or may not be "about" Cox in the strictest sense, the overall vibe is at least as introverted as 2008's Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel, and every note bears the same signature. With its strummed guitars, hushed double-tracked vocals, and tunes more reliant on ambiance and feel than melody or rhythm, Logos feels every bit as diaristic and personal, but with Cox, that's a plus. At this point, we're not looking to this guy for commentary on the outside world; we want to hear him wrestle with private demons in the sanctuary of his bedroom, bathing every sound in reverb to give the illusion of space and as a sonic balm against loneliness and figuring out how to make music as affecting as the stuff he loves to listen to.

So tracks like "The Light That Failed", "An Orchid", and "My Halo" (the latter two, though different in tone, are further entries in Cox's growing line of melancholy waltz-time shuffles) function primarily as the kind of eerie, blown-out mood music he has become very good at. They are amorphous sketches that still manage to convey feeling, capturing the sort of sad, exhausted, and fragile emotional state that is Cox's area of expertise. "Shelia", a taut pop song with a great chorus hook, is a change-up, though the repeating refrain "No one wants to die alone" fits with the rest of the record's themes. And "Washington School", with its dissonant chime of metallic percussion that sound like gamelan or evilly out-of-tune steel drums, contains the record's most interesting production, with thick drones reminiscent of Tim Hecker and menacing rhythm track.

So some things are different, some are the same, but all of it works well together. It's true that every time Cox ventures out of his comfort zone on Logos, you wish that he'd go even further and embrace extremes-- of tunefulness, tradition, noise-- that don't necessarily come to him naturally. He may yet take a big leap with Atlas Sound, but here the steps away, though rewarding, are tentative. For the rest of the record, Logos feels familiar and assuring, another affecting dispatch from a corner of indie music that is increasingly starting to seem like one Cox pretty much owns.

2) Take a quick gander at Deerhunter's discography and you'll notice a clear stylistic trajectory. From the confrontational noise of "Turn It Up Faggot" to the ambient preoccupations of Cryptograms to the straight-up indie-pop of Microcastle/Weird Era Cont., it's plain to see that as the band has evolved over time, its songwriting has increasingly tended toward the more accessible end of the spectrum. Unsurprisingly, it appears that Bradford Cox's other songwriting vehicle, Atlas Sound, is following a similar arc. On Logos, his second album under the Atlas Sound moniker, Cox provides us with 11 songs that are far less insular, though no less dreamy, than those he has penned in the past. While his fractured compositions still evoke the myth of the bedroom pop auteur, the songs on Logos sound considerably more refined than the lo-fi sketches being churned out by many of his peers. This, as it turns out, is a very good thing.

  To wit: "Walkabout", the track that had the blogosphere buzzing with anticipation for the better part of the summer. Built around a squelchy organ sample lifted from the Dovers "What Am I Going to Do", the song simultaneously recalls both the acid-tinged psychedelia of Black Moth Super Rainbow and the technicolor pop of Brian Wilson. Of course, it's impossible to mention "Walkabout" without acknowledging its co-creator, Noah Lennox, a.k.a. Panda Bear. In many ways, "Walkabout" bears Lennox's fingerprints more than it does Cox's, with Lennox's wistful vocal harmonies echoing throughout the track's four-minute runtime. It's easy to see why Cox chose to leak "Walkabout" well in advance of the release of Logos; bright, bubbly and infinitely catchy, the song perfectly captures the mood of a fleeting summer afternoon and stands as one of the year's best singles.

   "Walkabout" is obviously a standout, though it's also an outlier when approached within the context of Logos. While some may feel as if they've been misled, the good news is that the rest of the album is no less rewarding, if not quite as instantly gratifying. Take, for example, the opening suite that leads up to "Walkabout". Pitting disjointed acoustic guitar strums and distant, reverb-soaked vocals against a backdrop of aqueous noise, "The Light That Failed" succeeds at drawing the listener in while still keeping her at arm's length. "An Orchid", meanwhile, presents the listener with a dreamy ballad that feels like an indistinct outline for a Deerhunter song. Cox's vocals and the song's guitar hook are buried just deep enough in the mix to force the listener to dig a little. When "Walkabout" finally hits, it feels like a reward well earned.

  Luckily, "Walkabout" isn't the only nugget of pure pop bliss to be found on Logos. "Shelia", a disarmingly straightforward slice of jangly college-rock, proves hard to shake, with its Pixies-esque melody and sun-bleached three-part harmonies. Lyrically, the song serves as a world-weary rejoinder to the sweetly nostalgic refrain of "Walkabout" ("What did you want to be / When you grew up"), with Cox explaining, "No one wants / To die alone", before promising the song's titular subject, "We'll die alone / Together." It sure goes down easy, though.

  Cox has publicly acknowledged that Stereolab were his favorite band in high school, so it should come as no surprise that given the opportunity to collaborate with Lætitia Sadier, he puts his best foot forward. On "Quick Canal", he lovingly builds up and tears down a cathedral of sound for Sadier to inhabit, layering a deep bass groove, tambourine hits and a wall of gently panning organs atop a steady, shuffling beat. Midway through, the song falls apart, briefly taking a detour into glitchy noise before giving way to a squall of fuzzed-out guitars. Try as Cox might to obfuscate the vocals, however, Sadier's voice proves indefatigable. To her credit, she sounds right at home here, bouncing her voice off of the song's jagged edges to produce a track that's equal parts haunting and triumphant.

  With regard to electronic composition, on Logos Cox sounds more confident than ever before. Samples and electronic instrumentation form the underpinnings of many of the album's songs, though not to conspicuous effect. Penultimate track "Washington School" illustrates this point better than perhaps any other on the album. Opening with a loop built from fragments of a minor key piano line, the song soon piles on a pounding, bass-heavy beat, chimes and a playful synth line, blossoming into a full-on folktronica number that recalls Four Tet circa Rounds. Somewhere in the distance, Cox's disembodied voice rings out: "Shine a light / On me."

  If Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel was the product of Cox's willful isolation, then Logos is the sound of the auteur stepping outside of his bedroom to engage the world outside. Though it cedes little of the hazy delivery that made Let the Blind… so compelling, Logos brims with a wide-eyed energy all its own, conveying a palpable sense of optimism that's all too rare in Cox's oeuvre. This isn't too surprising when one considers the circumstances; the path that led Cox to the album's creation -- globetrotting tours with his idols, collaborations with some of the most distinctive voices in indie rock -- is the stuff of dreams for hermetic music nerds. Perhaps that's why Logos sounds as vibrant as it does: it's the result of Bradford Cox living out his dreams rather than just dreaming them.

   3) One of many unsatisfactory things about end-of-decade retrospectives is that musicians are rarely so accommodating as to plot their careers in nice, convenient ten year cycles. Nonetheless, that’s how posterity tends to remember them, regardless of finer details. Thus the Kinks are Sixties artists, the Clash a Seventies act, Talk Talk an Eighties band, Nirvana from the Nineties, and you’d comfortably stick a punt on The Strokes and Sufjan Stevens ending up defined by this decade we’re exiting.

  But what of Bradford Cox? Even if you were aware of Deerhunter's raucous 2005 debut ”Turn It Up Faggot” at the time, you're a wizard or a liar if you foresaw how their frontman was going to fill the years 2007 to 2009. That is to say: three Deerhunter albums (‘tis a fool indeed who views Weird Era Cont. as anything other than a record in its own right), two EPs, and a solo project as Atlas Sound that’s yielded God-know-how-many free downloads, as well as last year's Let The Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel, and now – an epic 22 months later - Logos. That all of this bar the odd freebie has been good to exemplary is simply astonishing, and points to an artist whose profligacy and cult popularity has him nicely set up to be a defining artist of the next decade.

  And yet... anomalous as ”Turn It Up Faggot” may seem, such scabrous origins are indicative of a palette that has been cooling and quietening ever since Cox first intersected with the limelight. The soundbite-friendly ‘ambient punk’ aesthetic never really lasted beyond Cryptograms, with Microcastle canning the abrasiveness in favour of reasonably straightforward shoegaze set off with dreamlike Fifties flourishes. Having arrived at something like a commercial sound, another artist might have stopped there; however, Cox has ploughed right on through, this year’s Rainwater Cassette Exchange far and away Deerhunter’s most introverted work, a retreat into quiescent childhood reverie.

  Logos has much more in common with Rainwater... than Let the Blind..., for the most part ditching the dissonant electronics in favour of delayed acoustic guitars and old-time pop structures. On the face of it, it sets out Atlas Sound’s stall as simply being whatever Cox may do sans Deerhunter. Yet in a way the 'ambient solo project' tag still kind of makes sense. Strictly speaking ambient music is defined not by instrumentation, but by its evasion of the consciousness. Whole swathes of Logos are blurred and indistinct - technically melodic, hooky songs treated and delivered in such a way that they all but self-negate, leaving nothing but fleeting impressions: the winsome viola that arrives in ‘Attic Lights’, just as Cox mutters ”maximum pain, maximum effect”; the gay singer’s unsettling yearning for traditional marriage on ‘Sheila’ ("we’ll die alone, together"); the barely discernible mantra ”all is love” that briefly ghosts through ‘Washington School’.

  This might sound like a way of romanticising an unmemorable album, but that's far from the case. These songs are bunched together into two dreamy, fog-like passages that serve as a backdrop for a handful of the most tangible tunes Cox has ever written, soaring atmospherically above the misty dreampop. Opener ‘The Light That Failed’ roots itself in the consciousness through eerily torpid glitching, Cox’s disconcerting use of something approaching a falsetto, and the doomy langour of its titular lyric. It sets up an album that frequently drifts into disquieting areas, yet never quite follows through on this early moment of dread. Indeed, delightful Panda Bear hook up ‘Walkabout’ serves as definitive proof that the light hasn't failed at all. While much of Cox’s early pop obsession speaks of a desire to creep out of the now entirely, ‘Walkabout’ is far more tangible and good natured, thanks largely to Panda Bear’s high, comforting tones and the appropriation of the hook from actual vintage Sixties pop gem ‘What Am I Going To Do?’ by The Dovers. Ironically for a song built around a 40-year-old tune, nothing, else on Logos has ‘Walkabout’s immediacy, though the excellent title track comes close, a rattling Strokes-alike number slightly removed from the world by Cox’s arsenal of floaty FX.

  As we’ve known ever since last year’s leak of the Logos demos, the centrepiece is the eight and a half minute, wholly electronic ‘Quick Canal’. Though tamed a little from the leaked 13 minute instrumental, this more mannered, Laetitia Sadier-sung incarnation is a better fit here, and still towers above the skyline. The Stereolab singer adds an inescapably Enya-ish quality to the gentle early stages, but by the time the song’s swooshing, snowy motorik has kicked into full gear she fits in immaculately, an aloof Old World passenger on a song charged with haughty European electronica. It perhaps doesn’t sound so jaw-dropping as it did in isolation, but a lot of that can be attributed to an intentional effect of the surroundings. Those short, subliminal songs serving to filter away reality and focus, like half remembered dreams that leaves the senses baffled and feverish.

  Logos is a gorgeous, hallucinatory and somewhat sickly outing. While there's every chance he'll wrong foot us, and soon, this record is entirely in keeping with the increasingly self-erasing route Bradford Cox has taken as a musician; it's hard to stifle a shudder at that blanked out cover image. Maybe Cox will go on to be a star next decade - he's a gregarious, prolific man liked by critics. But listen to his music, and that doesn't feel quite right. Maybe he'll become an icon. Or maybe he’ll finally make his escape from our timestream entirely, leaving us to wonder if he was ever there at all.

   4) Much like Starbucks, Bradford Cox has become a ubiquitous presence. What with his work with art-rock outfit Deerhunter, his involvement in Karen O’s official soundtrack for Where The Wild Things Are, and now this, his second solo offering under the Atlas Sound banner, you’d be forgiven for thinking that such familiarity will start to breed contempt. But you’d be way off the mark.

  There are two things you should know about this unlikely lo-fi hero of gangly deportment (he has Marfan Syndrome, a genetic disorder that stretches his limbs and strains his heart) and a girlish speaking voice (the affliction for this is yet uncertain). Firstly, it is impossible to dislike him (just see Wayne Coyne’s spoof argument with him on YouTube, branding Cox a “dick”). Secondly, his creative output has proved him to be one of – if not the – most forward-thinking and inspiring musicians of our generation.

  So, as Cox takes time out from Deerhunter, along comes ‘Logos’. Less of an experimental minefield than its predecessor, ‘Let The Blind Lead Those Who Can See But Cannot Feel’, it sees Cox weave in and out of dream-like sequences, such as the sombre ‘The Light That Failed’ and ‘Quick Canal’, the latter featuring the sweetly masculine vocal of [a]Stereolab[/a]’s Laetitia Sadier; while ‘An Orchid’ pitches in as the aural equivalent of a David Lynch storyboard, guided along with looped noises and whimsical vocals.

  It’d be easy to overlook Cox’s lyrics when the soundscapes are this rich and ornate, but there’s a delicate exploration of the most human of sensibilities and yearnings on ‘Logos’. He opens up the emotional vaults on ‘Sheila’, pining softly that “no-one wants to die alone… we’ll die alone together”. Likewise with ‘My Halo’, where Cox reveals “My halo burned a hole in the sky/My halo burned a hole in the ground… so I wait for polarity to change”. There’s much warmth and playfulness to be found here too, the unfeigned honesty and childlish desires expressed on ‘Walkabout’ – featuring the falsetto of [a]Animal Collective[/a]’s Noah Lennox – with its lyric “What did you want to see?/What did you want to be when you grew up?” being a case in point.

  Cox may have tagged Atlas Sound as just another side-project, but ‘Logos’ is a clear indication that his solo creative output is just as richly rewarding as what came before.

   5) For a project originally started as a way for Deerhunter frontman Bradford Cox to give a voice to his despairing isolation (he records completely alone) as a teenager, Atlas Sound is starting to sound like an arena-filling, widescreen pop project. Logos, Cox’s second proper solo album, takes the dense, gray worlds of Let the Blind Lead Those Who Can See, But Cannot Feel and puts them through a rainbow, delivering a splendid album.

  If there’s one word to describe Logos, it’s “watery.” And in that regard, Logos shares a lot in common with Merriweather Post Pavilion (and Deerhunter’s Rainwater Cassette Exchange from earlier this year). Both albums trade in dreamy avant-pop landscapes buoyed by soggy atmospherics. “Criminals” sways like a shipping vessel in choppy seas, while the album’s great closing third (“My Halo” through the title track) sounds like it was transmitted from that underwater base in the third season of Lost. Cox is still reliant on the general ambiance that envelops his solo work, but here he’s willing to let his vocals float above the mix. And while musically this is brighter, he’s still all Debbie Downer. Old standby lyrical tropes of growing old (on “Sheila” Cox sings “we will grow old” like he’s reassuring someone else), loneliness (“Attic Lights”) and lost hope (“The Light that Failed”) show up repeatedly, and he still sounds like he’s on his deathbed when he sings.

  But for an album created largely by one guy alone in his room, the guest performances shine the most on Logos. Stereolab’s  Lætitia Sadier wrote the lyrics for “Quick Canal,” a sprawling, shoegazey track that never loses its motorik motion, peaking repeatedly in its eight minutes. The bubbly “Walkabout,” the high-profile track with Animal Collective’s Panda Bear lives up to all the hypertext spilled about it this summer, delivering the best of both Panda Bear’s effervescent youthful innocence and Cox’s wistful yearning.

  Logos, while just the second solo album from the frontman for a band of marginal fame, represents the latest and greatest chapter in Cox’s ride to indie stardom. He rose to prominence mid-decade as a confrontational trickster riding blog-hype (circa Cryptograms), continuing with a solo album to build his brand (Let the Blind), an indie-rock masterwork (Microcastle) and a solo album of nearly as high repute (Logos). As for what’s next, Cox has remained mum (though Deerhunter might be taking a hiatus), but with Logos, he ensures we’ll all be waiting.  

[ranma-rewatch]

Episode 3-A Sudden Storm of Love

Hello hello hello, and welcome back to The Great Ranma Rewatch, where I plunge back into the depths of Ranma 1/2, burdened by ten more years of life since I last beheld it’s splendor. This week I’m up to the third episode, “A Sudden Storm of Love”. As with the episodes before it, I feel like I remember it pretty well, but then again there were some surprises I didn’t remember with the last one, so I’m excited to see what jumps out to me this time. I’ll catch up with you all after I’ve rewatched the episode. 

Well, this episode starts right where the last one left off: with Ranma and Kuno having jumped out the third story window, only to realize there was a pool below them. All the other students watch as Kuno floats to the top, but with no sign of Ranma. Under the water, our titular hero’s curse has activated, and he’s doing his best to swim to the edge and leave before anyone notices him. Sadly for him, Kuno sinks down to try and capture Ranma, only to get a handful of breast in the process.

Ranma does manage to escape, with the students only noticing from afar that he might look a little smaller, but only that. Kuno, meanwhile, considers what just happened and reaches the conclusion that Ranma must have switched places with that mystery girl he groped.

Akane finds Ranma hiding in a tree, and they have some fun banter before she reveals to have brought him some hot water to change back with. Before that can happen, Kuno shows up looking for Ranma. Trying to buy Ranma some time, she throws him the hot water kettle and challenges Kuno to a duel. They fight, while Ranma struggles to actually lift the heavy container high enough to splash himself with the water. Before he can, Akane sends Kuno flying into the tree, knocking the kettle over.

Still unaware just who the red-haired girl in front of him is, Kuno asks Ranma if he’s seen, well, Ranma, insulting Ranma’s manliness for running away from the fight. Unable to take that, Ranma challenges Kuno to a fight, which Kuno immediately thinks should have the stake of Ranma getting a date with him should Ranma win. Ranma rebuffs that as any kind of reward, beats him, then walks off with Akane.

Back at the Tendo home, Ranma’s dad chastises Ranma for being unappreciative of everything Akane did to help him, with Ranma’s immediate response being to mumble about how he never asked for it. After turning his dad into his panda form, Ranma does end up thinking about how things turned out, everything Akane did for him, and goes to her room, seemingly to apologize.

He catches her at a bad time. Nabiki is in the room with her, needling Akane about why she doesn’t seem enthused about the engagement. This spurs Akane to make it clear she doesn’t enjoy being associated with Ranma at all, something he overhears, making him turn and walk away.

The next day, school starts with a big fight against Akane once more, and again she handily beats them all up. The weird thing is the complete lack of Kuno. He’s obsessing over the ‘pig-tailed girl’, only for Nabiki to tell Kuno that she knows who the focus of his obsession is. After school, Ranma and Akane are sparring when Nabiki delivers a letter from Kuno, asking the girl he met in the tree with the kettle to meet him on school grounds at sunset. Ranma thinks it’s a duel, but when he arrives, he’s given a bouquet of flowers from Kuno, who professes his love.

Compared to this episode, I don’t know if I’d say this one really sets up as much. What it does give us is a continuation on the last one’s plot, the beginning of Ranma and Kuno’s unique dynamic, some Ranma/Akane teasing, and a few hints about Nabiki’s character. Of those disparate aspects, I think what stood out to me most was the bit with Ranma actually feeling guilty for how he’d been thinking of Akane, only to overhear the worst thing through the door.

That’s a pretty cliche kind of plot point, but I appreciate that it isn’t a misunderstanding. She wasn’t talking about someone else, she wasn’t leading up to talking good about him, she was genuinely venting about her frustrations with Ranma, with no clue he was listening to her. That makes the reaction from Ranma feel a lot more genuine, there’s no trickery going on.

There is some trickery in regards to what else this episode starts. More than anywhere else so far, this episode is the beginning of the confusion caused by Ranma’s cursed form. Right now, both the school as a whole and Kuno specifically don’t know about Ranma’s curse, and the latter thinks Ranma and his cursed form are two different people. This kind of thing becomes more common as the story goes forward from here, and if I’m being entirely honest, I don’t enjoy it too much. It kind of ties into my long-lasting dissatisfaction with secret identity plots in superhero stories, and I actually feel like the story would be more interesting if, say, Kuno had to reconcile the love he has for cursed Ranma with the antipathy he has for uncursed Ranma.

Speaking of Kuno, I can’t hold myself back anymore, I have to talk about this man. This myth. This legend. This time around I’m going to actually name his voice actors in English and Japanese together, because so far I’d say they’re pretty similar. In English, he’s voiced by Ted Cole, and in Japanese by (the apparently legendary) Hirotaka Suzuoki. Both actors, I feel, really nail the character.

Most of the time, Kuno sounds like the kind of person he’s trying to pass himself off as: a noble, cultured warrior. He sounds dignified, erudite, and even a little restrained. But when things start going wrong, or when he lets his emotions go too far, he sounds like the complete and utter goof of a person he really is. There is a slight difference in the voices, but that comes from trying to evoke the same effect in different languages. They each get the effect they want, but come at it from different cultural angles. I actually might say I like his Japanese voice actor more, but I love Ted Cole’s performance as well.

What about Kuno on the whole? Well, I’ve already kind of gushed about him, so it’s clear that I just adore his stupid face. There is just something incredibly endearing to me about characters who do their best to appear confident, only for it to become clear they’re comic relief. The fact that Kuno is genuinely a skilled fighter also helps, and the idea of someone capable of the things he can do, while using a wooden sword, is just wonderful. It’s goofy, but has a touch of genuine menace to it, and I love Lethal Joke Characters.

There’s also the fact that, technically speaking, Kuno is the first rival character in the series, which is kind of surprising to think about. After all, Ranma’s true rival has yet to appear, despite being in the opening, and I think a lot of people would argue several of Akane’s rivals are more focal to Ranma 1/2 than Kuno is. Still, he’s the first person Ranma fights, and starts a rivalry with, who is anywhere close to his level in combat.

Not that the comparison will hold for very long. Something kind of unique about Kuno is that, well, he won’t be in Ranma’s league for long. I don’t remember quite when it happens, but there is a distinct point where Kuno becomes a complete joke, someone only capable of threats due to outside assistance. The thing is, I kind of don’t mind that? Mostly because, while I’m not sure if this is ever stated outright in the show itself, it’s easily explained that the cause of that growing gap is that, unlike most the main cast, Kuno doesn’t strive to improve himself. After all, he’s an egotistical person who refuses to accept that his failures are caused by his own deficiencies, so he sees no reason to improve.

Speaking of improving...I would not say this episode was an improvement over the last one. So, with that in mind, where does it end up on the rankings? I actually have a bit of a hard time picking between this episode and the first one, but I think I will give it to the latter, if simply because that one has a more cohesive tone to it, while this episode is more scattershot. That makes the current standing:

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

Next time we’ll see just how Ranma reacts to the declaration of love in Episode 4: Ranma and... Ranma? If It's Not One Thing, It's Another. Until then!

[cassiedangerclouds]

Everything Is Green {Krii7y}

DeviantArt: SugarHigh100 (Smii7y)

Twitter: Beaudicea (Kryoz)

~

Trigger Warning!: In this story, I will write about colour blindness. Sorry if I do not get it correct as I myself do not suffer from anything of the sort (I am mildly longsighted). If this may offend you, please don't read. And I would really love to hear from some colour blind people on how I can fix my perception of it up in case I write this type of thing again.

Remember that this is MY interpretation of colour blindness (Protanomaly and Tritanopia), this is how I understood what I read from my research. So please don't take it personally if I get it completely wrong.

In this story, there will also be:

Anxiety Attacks –Based off of the ones I get. Because everyone experiences these differently-

Bullying (mentioned)

Swearing

Self-Deprecating Tendencies

~

Life gets pretty boring when all you see if various shades of green, grey and if you're lucky, violet.

But not the pretty, dark violet everyone else sees. No, it's a dull, kind of light version.

That's just life when your parents are Red-Green and Blue-Yellow colour blind and you pull the short straw on both ends.

No, I couldn't just have one; like not perceiving reds or greens properly. Or maybe become a very rare case and not be able to see blues properly.

No.

I ended up Red-Green in one eye and Blue-Yellow in the other.

So my world is full of dull, warped greens, boring and monotonous blacks and whites, only light grey and maybe, if luck wants to grace me, with violet. I strive for the moments that slightly purply-blue colour pops, I try to capture every detail of the moment so that I can try recreate it.

My parents try to tell me that when I'm older, my eyes may get better.

But I know that they won't.

Magic doesn't exist. If you're born with these things, you live with them forever.

People get weirded out by me. I confuse them. So I learnt to keep to myself. I sit under the trees, on the grass, things that should be blindingly green and are but just a dull blue really.

I got told that my glasses would help me see colours properly, but the kids all picked on me, so I don't wear them anymore.

The glasses were pretty cool I guess, I mean they were blue and red, and the world looked amazing back in fifth grade for the month that I wore them.

It's been five years since I've worn them though, I figured that, if I was picked on in fifth grade, high school would be no saving grace. So they sit in draw at home, collecting dust.

I guess life isn't too bad, I mean, at least I'm not blind. But this is no better.

"Hey. Hey. Can you hear me?" I kept my head down, knowing exactly who it was.

"I asked you a question."

I looked up, not too much, just enough to see if it was who I thought it was, "Yeah. I guess. I'm not deaf." I said, tapping my fingers against the ground.

"I'm not here to pick on you kid. I'm not an arsehole. My friends and I saw you sitting by yourself and I wanted to know if you wanted some company."

This time he caught my full attention, "Like for real? This isn't some big joke that Evan and all that set up to give me hope?" I asked.

He laughed, "Nah dude, honestly, Evan and his friends are a little overrated." He said, "With the exception of like Ryan. Oh and Craig, he hangs out with us sometimes."

I smiled, "I mean, sure. I guess that I could come and sit with you guys." I said.

"Sick." He said, helping me up.

He led me over to a table, not far from where I was sitting, I noticed him stumbling a little.

"Hey fuckers. I'm back." He announced.

"No one gives a fuck John." One of the other males at the table replied, looking up from his phone.

"Fuck you to, bitch." John replied.

"So guys, this is...uh I never asked your name, did I?" John asked.

"Good goin' John. You see a lonely kid, invite him over, but don't even ask his name." another said, this one was for sure in grey.

I snickered a little, looking over the group, of course, looking at everyone wasn't going to help me tell them apart, but it was worth a shot.

"HEY! That sounded a lot better in my head." The grey one stated.

"So, what's your name stranger?" one of the guys closest to me asked.

Come on, just say Jaren. "Lukas." I answer. What the fuck did I say that for?

"Well Lukas. As you could figure out, I'm John. In order around the table from my left. Cameron, Ryan, Craig, Anthony and...where did Crystal go?" John asked for a person I guess was here before he came over to me.

Crazy hair, grey guy, glasses, panda case. I recited in my head, it was the only way I'd actually remember them.

"Brock's nut of a sister came over and requested that her friend join her for a conversation." Anthony, I think, answered.

I frowned, "Cassidy isn't too crazy." I stated, causing everyone to stare at me.

"What. She used to be my..." I trailed off, "Never mind. Why did you invite me over here. I'm just the weird kid."

"We're all weird here." Cameron said, completely ignoring my slip up or at least I hope he did.

"I mean. Probably not. At least compared to me. Nobody is as mutant as I am."  I stated, looking down.

"What. Why? Because your eyes are different a little off centre or your hair is white? Every time I saw you, I always thought you just bleached it, like John does with his." Craig said with a shrug.

I sighed, shaking my head, "Okay. Don't like freak or anything okay John. But like, that jumper you're wearing is probably rad. But it's like literally all green, different shades. But to me. That whole thing is green, except the white bits near your wrists." I always found it was an easy way to explain my problem to people by talking about something that probably wasn't green and trying to tell them that's how I see it. "I can imagine and sort of figure out the colours, because I've done it for so long-"

"What shades of green?" John asked.

I shrugged, "The top is like a lime kind of colour. So it's probably like yellow or somet'in'. Uh, the middle is a dull green. So that's like red or orange, I don't remember because I don't see those colours a lot. The top of the sleeves is like, mint ice cream green. So they're some type of blue." I explained, hoping I got the colours close.

"That's so cool dude." John said.

"How do you live like that? Not being able to see colours. Only green?" Craig asked.

"Well. I mainly see the green spectrum, but I can see light grey, black, white and sometimes, violet. But it's like not the cool dark violet colour, it's more like what I think you would see as a cross between magenta maybe and periwinkle. I can see some shades of yellow, kind of. Most colours appear as greens though." I explained, tapping my fingers against my leg.

"Well, sit down you weird ass human." Cameron said.

I smiled, shaking my head, "Sorry. This was a nice..experience, but I'm just gonna leave." I said, turning around, I walked back towards where I was.

Suddenly I was on the ground, noticeably colder than before.

I looked up and saw my jumper in John's hands.

"Hey, fuck you. Give me my jumper back, it's cold." I demanded, getting off my arse, snatching my jumper out of his hands, slipping it over my head.

"It's a mild fifteen degrees, it's not that cold." Cameron stated.

"Shut up, you Kiwi fuck. We get it that it's fucking freezing in New Zealand." A feminine voice said from behind me.

Cameron pouted, "Piss off you Aussie bitch." He stated.

"Oh, and this is Crystal. Crystal, this is –"

"Hey Luke." Crystal said with a shrug.

"Vibe." I returned, watching as they walked over and sat between Cameron and Ryan.

"Wait- you two know each oth-"

"Whatever, reunions are boring. What did the nut want with you, aye?" Cameron asked, nudging Crystal's shoulder.

Crystal shrugged, "Never say that again. Worst Australian accent ever. Come on Fitzy, you're the closest one to where I'm from and you can't even fake a believable accent." They said.

The group started to banter, giving me the perfect chance to slip away.

I kept walking, not really knowing where I was going, I just knew I had to get away from that group before something bad happened to them because of me.

"Hey. Hey! Lukas, wait up." I heard a call from behind me, recognising John's voice, I picked up my pace, not watching where I was going.

Once more I was on the ground and I noticed that it was because I had bumped into someone. I stood up, "I'm so sorry. I-" my breath hitched.

In front of me stood well known school menace and Evan's right hand man Jonathan.

"I-I'm so so sorry. Uh, Delirious." I said, I could feel myself shaking.

Delirious turned to face me, and I could feel my lungs get heavy.

"Dude. Are you okay?" he asked me, sending me into surprise.

"What?" I managed to squeak out.

"I asked if you were okay? You hit me pretty hard and fell to the floor." Delirious said.

I shrugged, "I'm uh. Fine. Just yeah. Sorry." I stammered, my breathing starting to even out.

"Lukas, why are you-" I heard John stop dead, his boots squeaking as he skidded on the hallway floor. "Fuck."

"Well, if you're okay. Then I'm just gonna walk away." Delirious said, walking away.

I was still shaking, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight.

"Dude, are you okay?" I heard John was near me now.

But I still didn't open my eyes, I shakily pointed at my bag, "Pap- Pap- Bag" I started coughing.

"Pap Bag. Pap. Paper Bag! Oh, get the paper out of your bag!" John figured out, quickly flipping the latch on my bag and handing me the almost empty bag.

"I don't understand how this will help you." John said.

I cupped my hand around the opening, placing it near my mouth, breathing in and out into the bag.

My breathing went back to normal after five minutes and the coughing stopped.

I moved it away and drew in a deep breath.

"What the fuck was that?" John asked, making me painfully aware that he was still there.

I opened my eyes to see him standing in front of me, "That was an anxiety attack you fucking idiot. Holy shit. I could've-no-probably would've passed out if you hadn't have helped me. Jesus, I haven't had one that bad in a while." I stated, half talking to myself.

"Your welcome. I mean, I don't know how to respond." John said.

I smiled, "Thank you. But seriously. I thought that Jonathan was a bully. He didn't even threaten me. I think a lot of people just spread rumours and one rumour made it out and became popular saying that the BBS are bullies. They're probably just a bunch of misunderstood kids. I- I'm sorry for walking off." I said.

"Nah dude. My friends can be a little much sometimes, even for me." He said.

"Oh. Okay. Well, I'm still sorry. It was a good thing you did you know, asking me to join you guys. Your friends don't seem to bad. I'd probably fit in with you all. I feel like a big dou-"

I felt something warm against my lips for a split second and then it was gone.

"You talk too much." John stated.

My face started heating up, "What the fuck? We haven't even known each other for a day. John you're fucking weird," I stated, pulling my sleeve over my hand, wiping my mouth.

He laughed, "You enjoyed it. Don't deny it." He said.

Maybe I did. It doesn't matter, I don't even know the guy. "No I didn't." I retorted, but I knew my body language said otherwise.

"You're a bad lyre Lukas. You're red as a firetruck." He teased.

"Shut up you fucking prick." I muttered.

He rolled his eyes, "Come on. Come and hang out with me and my band of Misfits." He said.

I sighed, "Fine." I said and we walked back towards his friends, maybe a bit closer than previously.

But seriously, who the fuck kisses someone they just met? Like what even is that?

"Someone who has a set." John replied.

"Fuck. I said that out loud. Sorry." I said.

He stopped and turned to face me, "Stop fucking apologising. You've done nothing wrong." He said.

And that's when I noticed one small thing, well not really small thing, but it was something that would this was a moment I'd never forget.

~

Everything is green.

But his hair is my favourite colour.

Because it is violet.

~

Authors Note:

Hi guys!

Yes, I am a weirdo. I would've made it John's eyes, except that in this case it wouldn't work because John's eyes are blue and for them to be violet, they'd have to be yellow. Which just isn't realistic.

Anyway, that's it.

[atangledfate]

Zaoland Escapade [Part 1]

Surge made her way through the strange carnival like funland that was Zaoland and all she could think of was how Egotistical this guy had to be. Giant golden statue of himself at the center? All these crazy rides themed after his dumb face? This guy reeked of rich and dumb and the kind of person she wanted to drown for fun! But again she reminded herself of two things, she promised Blue no murder, and MORE importantly---this Was carols World and she didn’t know who that Wildcat was friends with and best not to rock the boat right? She paused near what looked like a slot machine with a leaver as big as she was. Tapping her chin she had a huge grin cross her face! oh this was to easy and she did need some cash! rings were worthless as she found out, so it was time to make some money!

Walking up to the Slot machine Surge placed a hand against the side of it and, let her electromagnetic field short out the systems in the machine. Just like back at the arcade she thought to herself as Gems, and orbs and petals poured out at her feet. She stuffed as many of the gems in her pockets already guessing that was the primary currency. But picked up a petal and sniffed it, sweet smelling? weird! she tossed it and casually strolled away as civilians dog piled the remaining loot! Being Surge she began to walk past each machine and just---repeat the process filling the floor with Gems and other goodies! Why? cause a  little chaos made the world go round!

By the time she made it to the giant statue, she could hear the thumping boots od security on all sides of her. Well that was fast! not like she was to worried, but when she turned and two little metal barbs jabbed her in the shoulder and started to fill her with electricity she just started to laugh! were they trying to taser her? Well shit that was funny! She reached up grabbing the wire as the stunned Panda’s ears drooped!

“ News flash fuck face! ya gotta do it like this! “ 

She lit the poor guy up just enough to knock him flat! every good shock deserved another! And looking around at the rest of the Guards she cracked her knockes and--- blitzed them in a flash of motion jamming her knee into the first, spinning around to kick the next one into a wall, before she slammed the third into the wall with enough force to knock him senseless all before the camera shutter could even blink. She turned to the nearby security camera and flipped it off before dashing up Zao’s station and using a spin dash to write loser across its face! in a language nobody probably understood! but she didn’t exactly think about that!

After nearly 3 hours of knocking security heads, ruining slot machines and being a general Menace Surge had camped out on top of the statues had. Being pretty pored at that point but enjoying some kind of fish shaped snack food from a vender! Pretty good really, she heard a voice from below!

“ EXCUSE ME! YES YOU ON TOP OF MY HEAD! WOULD YOU PLEASE COME DOWN SO WE CAN HAVE A CIVIL DISCUSSION! “

Looking down she could see that dumb red hat, the stupid ringed tail and the smiling face of some red---wait that was the same as the statue right? So this guy--- was real? he was so full of himself that he made a whole amusement park with his face on it? oh she couldn’t just let this guy walk right? she’d play along just a little bit! Jumping down from the top of the statue and landing with a flash of electricity! she only smiled at the Panda!

“ Ah Diplomacy? Ya know the problem with Diplomacy... it’s always doomed to fail... but alright... amuse me...” 

[shepgeek]

Film Review of 2016

Disappointments

Since everyone seems so keen to dispatch 2016 asap, let’s start on the downers!

2016 has definitely had its occasional moments but we seem to be fast converging on a generic blockbuster soup. The year was littered with blockbusters which had both impressive visuals and charismatic performances but also had nothing new to say, beyond sticking a franchise marker in the ground (Doctor Strange, Fantastic Beasts, Ghostbusters, Kung Fu Panda 3, Warcraft, Jason Bourne, The Magnificent Seven & even the largely over-praised Civil War). Whilst all of these films passed the time well & were basically enjoyable, there is the ever-increasing whiff of missed opportunity around the primary Hollywood fare. Less successful were Independence Day: Resurgence (distracting but pointless) and X-Men Apocalypse - an uneven, florid and unexpected misfire, although nowhere near as far behind Civil War as was generally made out.

Meanwhile, over in the DC Universe, Warner Brothers kept fumbling what should be their easiest win. From a low start, Batman vs Superman fades badly on repeat viewings (even the ballyhooed Special edition). There are definitely no problems in their casting department and I remain a fan of Cavill; his mournful look in the courtroom is played magnificently. Ben Affleck’s Batman was expertly portrayed but bore almost no resemblance to the essence of the character that I for one love, delivering in his place a psychopathic fascistic jackass who was a far cry from the world’s greatest detective. How we’re supposed to root for him then or in the future is a mystery - I would honestly take Clooney’s portrayal over this. Poor Affleck - he delivers what he is given magnificently; blame the architects and not the builder. Gal Godot’s cameo keeps me hopeful that Patty Jenkins may just save the whole damned thing with Wonder Woman next year, but Warners are certainly running out of strikes. The idiotic shambles of Suicide Squad was only barely saved from one-star dreck by the huge charisma of Will Smith & Margot Robbie, and whatever spark the concept started with seemed produced and edited into manufactured oblivion. To make it worse, DC’s TV shows remain such charming and silly fun: I wonder how much appetite standard audiences still have for the upcoming JLA films.

Arrival came trumpeted with massive critical heraldry but I was greatly disappointed.  I found it derivative (Torchwood: Children of Men with the pilot & finale of DS9) and, as with The Martian and Interstellar, flirted with scientific ideas (which film reviewers mistake for “intelligence”) only to discard them for woolly sentimentalism. Only Zemeckis’ Contact reigns supreme in this expanding genre of science storytelling and, even though the performances in Arrival were compelling, the film (albeit decent) left me greatly frustrated.

Another smash hit that I did not care for was the Secret Life of Pets, a tedious and rambling Toy Story knock-off (though my daughter loved it so what do I know?) but nothing compares to the real disappointment of the year- Swiss Army Man.  My take was this: a smug, cold, flimsy and empty experience, it became the first film I’ve walked out of.  Ever.  In fact I did so about 5 minutes before the end, since I knew exactly where it was going and was so disengaged that it was only going to annoy me. I should add that I do like very much that the film exists and I could imagine friends and reviewers whom I respect loving it (as many did) but it bounced off me completely and ultimately left me irritated and even a little angry.

  Moments

In the midst of an uninspiring year for cinema, there were still a few moments which blazed through the repetitive fug & reminded me how joyous cinematic storytelling can be. Spielberg’s BFG had many such notes, from the visual poetry of the Giant silently twirling through the shadows of London to the childish joy of the whizzpopping Queen. Other moments of delight included the moment of “Hang on - are they doing this? - oh Yes They Are!” when the Beastie Boys’ bassline kicks in during the final act of Star Trek Beyond and, whilst The Revenant may have been a tad indulgent, the bear attack had me yelling at the screen.  Any scene featuring Flash the Sloth in Zootropolis was laced with comedic genius whilst our arrival in the city, combining Shakira’s perfect pop with gorgeous animated depth and colour, was magical. Ryan Gosling’s masterclass of toilet gunplay clowning in The Nice Guys was only topped comedically by the rampant and prolonged genius of the game of “Would that it were so simple” tennis in Hail Caesar! But narrowly pipping that for my cinematic moment of the year though, was Lord Vader himself.

I feel conflicted over Rogue One as ultimately it is yet another film which exists because it can, not because it needed to. To note the lack of comment about the unsettling fake Peter Cushing (squarely in the uncanny valley) after the shrieking which greeted the prequel trilogy’s “Dodgy CGI!” headlines perpetuates the accepted myth that those films are disasters to discard  but I see little difference.  Rogue One is another three star entry to the saga; I’d put it on a level with Attack of the Clones in terms of quality, ahead of Phantom Menace. Disney have a whole Galaxy to explore but choose to sustain the increasingly weird trend of aping preceding classics with an echo instead of trying out a new voice. Quite what Joss Whedon made of the final act is anyone’s guess: “the feisty rebels fight their way past a space armada (losing comedy relief Alan Tudyk along the way) to climb a radio antenna so they can send out the message to topple the evil empire” rang a few bells with me anyway. Rogue One also felt choppily re-edited (what was with the psychic space octopus?) whilst the new characters didn’t really land at all.  Indeed directly after leaving the cinema I (and all of my party) struggled to name any of the characters (Erm…. Jinn, the moustache guy, the blind guy, his mate, the pilot, Forest Whitaker, the funny droid, the small thing that looked like a testicle…).  Despite this problematic emotional deficit we were treated to some glorious set pieces and nicely pitched beats, but when Darth Vader’s lightsaber illuminates his terrifying visage we are treated to a moment of cinema as resplendent in its awesomeness as it was shamelessly gratuitous.  After my considerable mithering about not being able to share Star Wars with my children last year it was almost a relief to see such a grim conclusion (No Way is it suitable for under 10s) but it makes me return to my wondering of who Disney are making these films for.  Episode VII is rumoured to be “darker” still; where is the cheerful space-fairy-tale where we all started?  Eventually they’ll stray too far from Lucas’ indelible first film (still the finest of the lot, for me) and step back cinematically but they run the risk of increasingly diluting the specialness of the whole thing. The fun “Star Wars Rebels” TV show fills a bit of this gap but even that has clouds of doom in the background (although seeing Chopper & The Ghost in Rogue 1 was a nice touch). Maybe after the sad loss of Carrie Fisher last week now isn’t the time to whinge about gloom in the Star Wars Universe, but I feel that my love for the franchise is certainly starting to be tested.

The year in numbers

Number of films seen: 93

Way down on other years- I blame box sets).

Number of ***** films released in 2016 : 0

This happened in 2011 too, but I’d normally expect at least 3.

Number of 2016 releases seen: 32

 About par for the course.

Number of cinema trips:29

Again about my average: I’ve been to the cinema 188 times in the past 6 years.

Number of new films seen:51

I’m improving here, which pleases me.

 Most anticipated for 2017

Baby Driver

Edgar Wright’s films are ace (except that one which I don’t mention since people shout at me).

 La La Land

This looks gorgeous and I thought Whiplash was sensational.

 Logan

I like everything about how this looks.

 A Monster Calls

Original storytelling! Yes!

 Paddington 2

Obvs.

 Star Wars Episode VIII

A New Hope?

 T2: Trainspotting

Hugely exciting- these film makers have only grown more talented in the past 20 years.

20 years.

Gods I’m old.

 Thor: Ragnarok

My favourite Marvel franchise goes comedy-space loopy. Has the potential to be my favourite of them all.

 Wonder Woman

I love this character and I want my daughter to as well. Get this right DC. Please.

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 Missed during 2016 but would like to have seen:

Allied, the Big Short, Finding Dory, Midnight Special, Money Monster & Passengers. I also did not see either Room or Spotlight, because I was never in the mood for the grimness of either.  Look, I’m busy and I’ve turned 40. Can you tell?!

  Top 10 films of 2016

Bubbling Under: The charming and colourful Moana and also Kubo and the Two Strings were superior family fare whilst The Jungle Book was an immersive treat.

 10        The Revenant

Technically stupendous but also oddly emotionally detatched and often needlessly arty- truly great cinema puts storytelling before craft and allegory with the latter drawn from the former (if it can) and I felt that, despite the stupendous cinematography and artistry on display, that beauty was sacrificed for emotional or narrative strength- certainly for plausibility. I’ve had these issues with Iñárritu before, but there is no denying the fact that this remains a remarkable piece of cinema.

9          Deadpool

Actually a bit more sharp than I’d first realised and a clever piece of programming, but still not what it could be if it halved the budget and really cut loose.

#driveby

8          10 Cloverfield Lane

The main problem is the name (It has nothing to do with the 2008 film and I was always waiting for them to tie together), but the claustrophobia and paranoia are immersive, shocking and unpleasantly tense.

7          The Hateful 8

A trifle indulgent at times, but a terrific theatrical experience.

6          The BFG

Not as comedic as you’d think, with a pervasive melancholy vibe of loneliness, guilt and regret emitting from the screenplay, lead actor and the director. It takes a while to get going and doesn’t aim for huge emotional sweeps, but the patient craft of Spielberg is clear to see. The BFG is lovely filmmaking with a real gentleness at its core and it will only grow in reputation over time. Also features explosively farting Corgis.

5          Star Trek Beyond

The best Blockbuster of the year I was surprised and delighted to see how much it grew on repeat viewings. This warm and witty love letter was assembled at huge pace but it made for a thrilling piece of cinematic escapism. A considerable improvement on its predecessor, the highlights were the pairings of the characters, especially Spock & McCoy. They did fudge the character of Kirk a little in order to both complement the story’s main theme & provide a suitable reflection in the villain and as a result Kirk is, paradoxically, the least convincing part of the piece but, after a terrific and assured finale and beautiful grace note for the 50thAnniversary, the films ends perfectly with the whole crew, as it should.

4          Hail Caesar!

Another film that gets better the more you think about it, Hail Caesar! loves movies almost as much as its protagonist and this feels like one of the Coens’ more personal films. Their goofy wit is littered throughout it and it nods to cinematic tradition constantly, including some wildly unnecessary set pieces which spectacular and as fun as there are knowingly indulgent.

3          The Nice Guys

Quintessential Shane Black it may be, but his voice is so distinct and entertaining that a film with this level of charisma is hard to take against, no matter how familiar the ingredients might be.

2          The Man who Knew Infinity

A truly delightful surprise, I was expected this to be a guilty pleasure (given my love of Maths and knowledge of the subject matter) but instead I was treated to a terrific piece of film making: quiet, earnest, substantial, well acted and gracefully told.  Seek it out! It may appear like a generic biopic but the subtle exploration of Ramaujan’s talent and his faith and the search for absolute truth in both Mathematics and Religion that connects him to Hardy (along with circumstance) is well rendered. It is certainly considerably superior to the Imitation Game.

1          Zootropolis

So Disney has eclipsed Pixar- that Lassiter dude certainly knows what he’s doing.

I’m pretty amazed to see this as my film of the year, as it is a kids’ film, a cartoon. And yet, when I look back on everything I’ve seen over the past 12 months, it is the one film which made me smile the most and it continues to grow on repeat viewings (which my children beg for).  It is kind of expected that incredible colour, imagination, design and wit are de rigueur in these films but not only does Zootropolis get all of these ingredients exactly right, it sneaks in small hints of profundity. After a year in which unsavoury debates have been poisoned by irrationality, this film, without every threatening to be preachy, gently illustrated to my children exactly the message I needed them to see. The core of the film concerns how we can get judged by what we are, not who we are or what we do and even both protagonists, who are wildly different, fall into this trap during the course of the story.  Judging a book by its cover is in our DNA but reflecting on how we process this instinct is something that struck a chord with me, long after my first viewing. Concepts of “Them and Us” are challenged directly but without ever lecturing or straying from the narrative or the wit.  The film is subtly layered both narratively (themes of exclusion and lack of purpose are examined through deft comedy) and visually (a quick rewatch of the final 10 minutes allowed me to spot nods to Speed and The Empire Strikes Back) and the music and humour are hugely pervasive.  It is no masterpiece but is certainly the film I needed in 2016.

This may be a cheesy way to finish the year but the lyrics to the (frighteningly) catchy main song from Zootropolis contains a message for Film Producers (despite being sung by an alarmingly sexy gazelle):

“I want to try everything, I want to try even though I could fail;  I’ll keep on making those new mistakes.”

I’ll take more Swiss Army Men every now and then if it leads to more Whiplashes.  Let’s hope to see cinema trying everything in 2017.

Happy New Year!