#hes already half xehanort

[bitternace]

WHY ARE YOU SO EVIL!!! /POS. ATTACKING YOU.

Xemnas and Xigbar for 37 if that number hasn't been done? If it has, how about 74?

no puedo pedirle lo eterno a un simple mortal // ay, todo lo que he hecho por ti.

[ID: a mostly black and white drawing with a purple overlay of xigbar and xemnas shown from the hip up on the left side of the image. the background is black and has some diagonal lines with a bit of transparency on the right side. the shadows are harsh, with only a bit of light falling on their faces.

they stand before each other turned to the audience. xigbar, holds the handle and the middle of No Name before him, head tilted down as he looks to the audience. xemnas stands a full head taller behind xigbar, his left hand held some distance below the bladed tip of No Name, his left eye is covered by his fringe.

xemnas visible eye is painted ochre with a white pupil, while xigbar's eye is white and gold. The eyes on no name's handle and the gazing eye on the blade are a vibrant cyan. the caption reads the spanish lyrics "i can't ask a simple mortal for a forever" and "oh, everything i've done for you." /End ID.]

close-up under keep reading.

[catboygirljoker]

as an example of my beef with the kh wiki:

"citation needed" well sometimes when you play a video game and you watch a cutscene you can see information with your eyeballs and you can listen to the words characters say and connect them to the things that are being shown on screen and you can think about them in your brain and look at it and think about it and then you can know things about the game youre playing

[slightly-gay-pogohammer]

kingdom hearts but with the right eye colors

[organizationhimself]

just kinda having some thinky thoughts about how dark road totally rewired eraqus's character and what a phenomenal job they did.

like here's your problem you have. you need to take this cloistered old man who raised his students in the jedi way, somehow put up with Old Man Villainy being That Way presumably on the regular, lost every last iota of his shit and turned on the Apocalypse Child he adopted as well as his surrogate son who was infested with The Evil (which the series has long established as not necessarily being good or bad without context) to say nothing of the headtrip he gave his direct heir, and you need to reduce him to a version of himself as a child that is. like. fun. someone who has a genuine friendship with xehanort and is regarded by xehanort as someone who is a "sly fox," i.e. not the sort of buffoon who tests for mastery of the keyblade by child-proofing some orbs of light.

where do you even begin?

YOU TRAUMATIZE THE UNGODLY HELL OUT OF HI--okay i'm getting ahead of myself, let's start with principles.

because eraqus is principled. he believes really firmly in the light in a way that's nearly sora-adjacent in its intensity, but the thing is that sora has this flexibility that eraqus was simply not raised to appreciate. yes, nomura, we understand you like the bright sunshine one and the wry brooding one, you did it with sora and riku, god knows what you did to axel's spine to fit him into the sunshine kid's mold next to isa as brooding anti-crybaby, and now we're doing the same thing to eraqus. ok. i love it when you're optimistic, let's do it.

so first we need confidence. easy; he's a smug little rich kid. worked for riku didn't it? (source: kh1 manga, and the fact that you cannot convince me anyone can maintain a kid with that build on a budget) but we also need to see how dark road changed him as a person. let's contrast his uptight stick-up-his-ass future with a present day class clown who doesn't take things seriously; a headstrong fighter who jokes that he'll just run away. and hey speaking of emotional damage, let's start easing into the inevitable terrible, horrific, unspeakable traumas we're going to visit on this defenseless creature with a little one as a treat:

HIT HIM RIGHT IN THE GRANDPA.

and there you go! we now have a source for eraqus's rejection of the darkness that is not simply a function of his career as a jedi keyblade master, but has an actual personal experience he can point back to in order to say "hey, darkness is the pits!! here is why." it sets the stage early for him to be already butting heads with xehanort, who takes a much more flexible look at the worlds and the way they work and is more willing to view things from the perspective that he is not an authority on the moral peculiarities of whatever world he is currently inhabiting.

xehanort is also a child of destiny [citation needed]. an isolated visitant who was born for finer things but never slept a day in his life without waking up with sand in his mouth until he reached out and took his fate in his bare hands and let it drag him all the way to scala.

where he met the blueblooded child of a keybearing legacy thousands of years in the making, just like his.

and suddenly what you have are unwitting equals. we're ready to set them both up at the chess board; eraqus's legacy is plain, he moves first and he makes no apologies for it because it's his birthright. but xehanort's half of the board is still buried in shadow, implied but never stated, never surrendered to eraqus's probing questions or revealed by his moves, but already aimed at a clash with destiny, fated, inevitable.

shall we say, already written.

and this is brilliant!! now we have a source for our "sly fox," a reason for xehanort to be extremely familiar with the way eraqus thinks (and not to star wars on main but the obi-wan kenobi series did something really similar to this narratively by using anakin and obi-wan's familiarity with each others' fighting styles to predict the actions they would take in a situation, and i will actually never be over it in my life, absolutely stealing it for a xehaqus fic sometime, just shamelessly mugging ewan mcgregor in the street for that solid gold good shit). not only that, but we also have an explanation for xehanort's motivations as described by kh3. he is not looking at the fight from the perspective of one of the pawns; he is looking at the fight as a player, deciding which pawn gets taken. selecting which rook to sacrifice in exchange for the queen.

and eraqus is opposite him, doing the exact same thing (sort of, kh3 was a little cerebral with that), but there's an important difference here that we'll come back to later on.

so, okay. we have a vague outline in the shape of a sunshine kid now. he has confidence tied to his role in society, his legacy gives him perspective, his trauma ensures that he will one day calcify against the darkness with such emphasis that he will unwittingly pad the therapy bills of an entire generation. so far so good.

but uh, yeah, his kids? he fights them? like okay, axel has his differences with his kids too but he's not trying to kill them (mostly). eraqus really definitely for real is, and ven is defenseless. so that'ssss...hard to square with the sunshine kid we're building, nomura, how do we explain that? we really can't handwave it as amnesia this time, we're not working with ansem the wise here.

(BALDR. BALDR IS HOW--

ok but wait wait wait, before we even get to baldr, there's something we can do:

make eraqus impulsive.

and i mean impulsive. make eraqus spoil for a fight with so much unmitigated howler monkey energy that he will fight his friends just to vent. (this isn't even a unique thing, riku and xion and even sora do it all the time, and we're not here to talk about ven's crimes against miners but it's clear that violence is a spoken language in kh.) eraqus is fluent, so we're making it so that all of eraqus's intensity and passion can be focused on a single point if xehanort pushes exactly the right switches in his head.

and then, y'know, yeah. make baldr slaughter all of his classmates, several of them right in front of him, because of unchecked darkness and baldr's own inability to see past his own grief and resentment for long enough to understand that all he's really doing is inflicting his own suffering on other people in a murderstorm of nihilism and bitterness. unrelenting trauma conga line, check.

and now we have almost all the elements. eraqus's principles can't allow him to accept darkness, both because his grandfather was lost to it and because it left him (by all accounts a bourgeois slacker at the bottom of his class, someone vidar doesn't even consider as a candidate for one of the lights despite what baldr has to say about eraqus as a light source) one of the only survivors of an event that completely resculpted his life and community. time to pack him off to the jedi temple land of departure to be least okayest teacher of the year, right?

well...no. we need eraqus to wait.

because he doesn't take on students. and doesn't, and doesn't, for decades. first he fights xehanort, and as we have established he is spoiling for that fight (white moves first!). and then when xehanort finally visits him to drop off that half-dead kid he found (ven was like that already shhh), he's kind of like politely like "oh, you have apprentices. they seem...bright," like he's congratulating eraqus on finally reaching a life stage that eraqus should have hit approximately 50 years ago, and eraqus is like "yeah yeah whatever shut up anyway YOU'VE got one too now right." (yen sid talks about the role of "seeker" like it's a different thing from "keyblade master" so that's where i'm extrapolating this distinction from, but regardless i don't think anyone ever seriously expected xehanort to take on students.)

my point here is that eraqus waited until the last possible opportunity to take on students. to carry on the legacy that was so important to him as a child, and to re-experience the closest thing to the camaraderie he had as a keybearer-in-training that he could ever have back. that is how impactful baldr's actions were for eraqus.

i'm veering completely into speculation now but i think eraqus was terrified. how could he not be? his class wasn't even taking the mark of mastery and still got decimated by it. how could he risk going through that again, but from odin's perspective this time? what guarantee would he ever have to avoid the same tragedy his master had failed to prevent?

so, NOW we know why eraqus's mark of mastery was a handful of light pinatas and a duel. (i like to think xehanort felt a certain level of professional embarrassment for him and wanted to make it just a little more like a real challenge.)

(this is a sidebar and i'm going to talk about my other blorbo for a second but terra has a beautiful dream of being a sly manipulator. that's why he doesn't worry about investing himself in villain schemes, because he assumes he'll see the snare coming before he gets his head caught in it, but it's never coming from directly in front of him like he expects. so this is a dream that will never come true, but he has it, and i think given what we knew about eraqus as early as blank points, its only possible source is a master who was strict and exacting, but--very occasionally--also a sly fox who secretly delighted in his students' nascent abilities to surprise and outwit him.)

back to the trauma, we also have, obviously, the explanation for eraqus's attitude towards terra, and later ven. terra is a tragedy in slow motion that eraqus has seen happen before. baldr was unable to control his darkness; it overwhelmed him, and eraqus does not have the context that xehanort does, that baldr was in some ways a product of his own darkness-shunning society. even if eraqus does have that context, i can't really see him agreeing with it--and even if he at one point agreed with it, he would have gotten that context from the same guy who last showed up at his house talking about kicking off the apocalypse for the vine.

so like. eraqus has never seen any damn thing in his whole life that doesn't confirm his bias against the darkness. does that make him innocent of parenting Incorrectly? no, he is a Bad Dad. does it explain his hopelessly unsuccessful parenting strategies? yes, it does.

what it reinforces is also that eraqus didn't want to have to fight terra and ven. the original bbs is honestly not very good about establishing this: he cries one Sad Tear. yawn. still child abuse, asshole! the stakes in bbs are also not very well established, because there's approximately six people in it and some of them are just the same guy over again, so we don't really have a sense that terra being taken over by the darkness is like...gonna mean something to eraqus that is sincerely worth the personal cost of killing him. since we're clearly no longer worried about ven, there aren't other students to protect (besides aqua, but she's a really hard sell on the "needs to be protected from terra with so much urgency he must not live another moment" front). there is no immediacy to ven's status as Apocalypse Child; if anything vanitas seems like the obviously more important threat, and maybe eraqus should be less concerned about weeding out students and more focused on vetting friends like Old Man So Clearly The Villain My Guy. bbs eraqus is just genuinely hard to like as a character.

but now we have dark road context.

and white moves first.

eraqus is not seeing terra or ven in that moment, he's seeing baldr. he's seeing the summoning of kingdom hearts that almost was, and he is gripped by meticulously prearranged, bone-deep, irrational, traumatized, unbridled impulse. the emotion must vent. the thing he was powerless to stop has returned to haunt him and he must resist it. he knows what will happen if terra strikes him down here and heads back out into the worlds in search of other hearts, other lights. he knows.

but terra resists, using the full spectrum of his strength without remorse, and it is only when eraqus's keyblade is ready to fall from his hand that he realizes the truth:

My own heart is darkness.

and when this happened in the original birth by sleep all i could think was yeah star wars dad!! nailed it your heart IS darkness you fuckin dillweed, about time!! what took you so long!!

but after dark road, this context is completely changed. eraqus is not just realizing that he fucked up.

he is realizing that he fucked up the exact same way baldr fucked up.

that he let his own grief and suffering cloud his judgment and guide his blade to strike out at his loved ones. that instead of finding a way to live with what's already happened to ven, what was long ago fated for terra, he turned his resentment outward and gave that darkness leave to consume them both whole.

but unlike baldr, eraqus regrets it.

it is that moment that xehanort cuts him down anyway, not because eraqus can't be saved the way baldr couldn't but because xehanort is cleaving away the last of his own attachments to the world so he can follow through with the rest of his plans, and i am SO NORMAL ABOUT THI

but okay anyway. eraqus has exactly one move left.

he can't see the board. unlike xehanort, he has no extra pieces of himself he can just bandy about; the warriors of light must assemble without any of his direct input, chasing the echoes of eraqus's students and pushing and pulling in reaction to xehanort's steady advance through the center. he has only one chance. he can't afford to waste it.

the kings are meeting in the middle of the board. the stalemate will come any moment, when they're both out of moves and out of time, leaving the fate of the worlds undecided.

and it is at this moment that eraqus pulls the same penultimate move that xehanort himself used on baldr, confronting him with the first victim his darkness ever struck down. eraqus almost doesn't have to say anything, at all, because xehanort has to know what it means. has to know what it says.

xehanort resists. the world is too far gone. too many horrible things can happen in it; it must be reset. not purged and filled with darkness, like baldr wanted, but returned to a state that can never mutate into the conditions that made baldr exist in the first place. that doomed all their classmates to die. it's too late.

For us, perhaps...but not for them.

and now we go back to the distinction.

the thing that makes xehanort's chess game different from eraqus's is that, for xehanort, it's only chess. the pieces he's moving have ceased to exist in his mind as individuals. they are pawns on a line of white and black squares, and they may weave away from his will here or there but they cannot be swayed from their march.

eraqus never forgets.

and it's actually eraqus's capacity for forgiveness that i haven't even touched on yet. this isn't a word i ever expected to associate with him, but eraqus spends dark road forgiving. five minutes after any altercation he's already forgotten about it. name-calling. arguments. rejection. opposition. full-on fighting.

murders.

when xehanort kills baldr, eraqus is still calling out for him to stop. when xehanort later strikes out at him with darkness (the thing eraqus is scared of the most!!), permanently disfiguring him, eraqus has already forgiven him before seeing him the next time in person.

he does not forget that baldr is a person in spite of his darkness, and eraqus doesn't want him to be killed for it. that terra is a person in spite of his darkness, and eraqus doesn't want to see it consume him. that ven is a person in spite of the darkness that was cleaved from him, and eraqus doesn't want to see it return.

(if you think about it the real tragedy is that we were robbed of him looking aqua in the eye and telling her that she isn't tainted forever, that it did not take her, and even if it had, that will always, always matter less than her finding her way back. i refuse to believe terra was not already made aware of these facts.)

but he also does not forget that xehanort is not a faceless player in the skies, impossible to convince of the significance of a pawn; he remembers that xehanort, too, is still a person.

this point is important because eraqus's last move is not a checkmate (I KNOW HE SAYS CHECKMATE but it is not checkmate), but it is calculated to produce something else: a concession. he doesn't need the board to support his win or xehanort's loss; he needs the player on the other side to put down the pieces and follow his beacon out of the dark.

and that is how nomura shows us our sunshine kid at last, fully formed, as he takes xehanort's burdens from him and spirits them both well beyond the reach of the board.

anyway yeah microwaving him in my brain along with axel (and also roxas and terra because if i don't collect all my blorbos AND their hot mess dads i'll never fill out my pokedex).

[leastrifedraws]

Radiant Garden Fam headcanons:

- Aeleus was the one who found Ienzo after his parents were killed by Unversed

- Ienzo was closest with Ansem and Even then being his primary caretakers, while he saw Aeleus and Braig as uncles and Dilan too, but Dilan was the most distant of them from Ienzo

- Ansem and Even are in a QPR, Aeleus and Dilan are dating (I do also like Aeleus x Even and might draw them at some point but these are my main ships)

- Braig makes jokes about being the fifth wheel of the group (until Xehanort comes along)

- Braig and Dilan are half-brothers(credit to xiiiwayfinders for that one idk if they got that headcanon from someone else, but I saw it on their blog first)

- Braig (pre-Luxu) became a guard as a late teen after Dilan (already a guard) suggested it when Braig said he didn’t know what to do with his life

- Ienzo has selective mutism (again credit to xiiiwayfinders) and autism

- Ansem and Even tried to find ways for Ienzo to make friends with kids his age, but between loosing his parents and already not being like most kids Ienzo was never able to get along with his peers

- Luxu tends to use vessels of people down on their luck or seeing little to no point in life anymore, Braig was about to cross a point he couldn’t come back from when Luxu stopped him and promised to make all the pain go away

- When Xehanort joined Luxu had never expected Xehanort to be so different from both Terra and the old coot and end up as someone completely new. It made him intrigued to meet this new combination of people he used to know and eventually Luxu found himself in love

- Ienzo was the first to find out about Xehanort’s experiments (not including Braig)

- The reason Xaldin is so bitter about love is because of the distance that grew between him and Lexeaus after loosing their hearts, the two barely talked or did anything together both believing it was what the other wanted which festered resentment between the two that they didn’t resolve until after their hearts were back

- A small part of the reason Vexen agreed to be apart of the real organization was because he was scared to look Ienzo in the eye again after causing him so much hurt

-

[braveheartstoryteller]

What does Sora know, or what is he aware of? Has been a question on my mind since taking a closer look at the Round Room scene in Dream Drop Distance. Is it possible that he knows more than we think? I've been toying with this idea in my mind for a long while. It sparked when I noticed something in the scene's animation. In further away shots in the second half of the scene (such as just before Xehanort makes his attempt to make Sora his vessel) we see Sora's eyes wide open. Where as any close up shots, that we get in the beginning, Sora's eyes are mostly shut. So what happen in between? Was all the commotion, enough to make him semi-aware? That's the answer, if I am honest, I sort of wanted. I mean think of the angst potential? (I'm a fan-fic writer okay?) But, I am the type of person to look at all possible options first, and see what is the most plausible answer, and even look at real-world explanations. The real world explanation, is limited animation. While I don't know if this exactly what they would term what they are doing, it is what I personally call it. It is something that is done in all main-line KH games up to KH3. Where unless it is needed to convey what they wish, or it is a close up shot, sometimes they will limit what they animate or draw. In the case in question, those far away shots could be that limited animation. They do go as far as make the iris of Sora's eyes dark and undefined, in order to match what Sora's eyes are at this time. They are like black-blue dots.

So this big, big question might all be chalked up to a shortcut made by the developers. *sigh* If though, this isn't the case, and there isn't another explanation, then what might that be? Well of course there is the obvious one, and I've already mentioned it. The best evidence to back this idea up comes from BbS. When Ven first arrives at the Land of Departure, his eyes are the same unfocused, endless blue orbs. Yet he shows some sort of very limited awareness, though he gets overwhelmed very quickly. Then later when he finally wakes up, his eyes are still the same.

So these eyes don't necessarily mean unawareness. However, when looking at Sora's case, the text does explicitly say that Sora is asleep. This is what pulled me to the most plausible answer (save the real-world one, which no one really wants) in my mind. If there is someone watching, perhaps it is Ven, Roxas and Xion. When Riku goes to wake Sora up, he has to answer three questions, all posed by these three. And before that, Ven showed some sort of awareness, by protecting Sora with his armor. We see a heart hover over Sora right after he drops to the deepest darkness. Considering the armor appears after, it could be presumed to be Ven. So in a way, those three were Sora's guardians, even if they couldn't do all that much. If this is the case, then that smile at the end of the game by Ven could have a deeper meaning, as not only is it about the Dream Eaters, but also that everything is now as it should be. Still, I'll always wonder. What does Sora truly know? Eyes don't lie, ya know. Do you think I am barking up the right tree, or do you have thoughts to add? Feel free to reblog and tell me!

[rosie-kairi]

With KHDR all but confirming Vanitas is the combination of the original Darkness that possessed Ven and his natural born darkness when Xehanhort ripped his heart in half Vanitas is technically the longest relationship Ven has ever had. Like no wonder this emo fuck is obsessed with him he literally singled him out as a child and has just been there the whole time even during their 4 years of separation he counted the years and days until they could reunite so he could take his rightful place in Ven's heart and mind. It makes his whole claim that they're brothers and that he's darkness in KH III so much more ominous (classic mobile games adding new context in horrifying ways to the mainline games).

Furthermore when Ven inevitably does regain his full union x memories I want him to have kill bill sirens and pummel Vanitas the minute he sees his smug ass again. Just absolutely beat the shit out of him screaming his anger out like, "YOU MOTHERFUCKER YOU RUINED MY LIFE I WAS 10! I WAS FUCKING 10 AND YOU DESTROYED ANY CHANCE OF ME LIVING A NORMAL LIFE! YOU MAIMED MY HEART NOT ONCE NOT TWICE BUT THREE FUCKING TIMES LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY I'M NOT YOUR PUPPET YOU CAN PLAY WITH UNTIL I BREAK AGAIN!"

And Vanitas just does not understand why Ven isn't all for their extremely destructive co-dependent relationship since he essentially gave Ven what he wanted but he also immediately took it away after threatening the union leaders. And Ven is literally all he has. If he doesn't have Ven he has nothing and if Vanitas is around Ven's life will only become worse.

I have to rewatch all the BBS and KH III Ven and Van scenes again with this knowledge because Vanitas' actions make so much more sense that he sees Ven as a thing he owns and can do whatever to since he's had him since he was a child.

I'm far from an expert on Vanitas and his whole deal (because he honestly never really caught my attention that much) but I am really looking forward to how the games will address the events of union x in relation to him.

Like, is he even aware that he also comes from ancient darkness, and not just Ventus? If he does, is it a "I fully remember all of these events happening and I take all responsibility for them" awareness or a more subconscious kind? He feels things and remembers bits and pieces and he's not really sure why.

Going from there, how much of union x in general does he remember? Since he comes from both Ventus and the ancient darkness, would he get memories from both sides? Maybe, he only has memories from Ventus's perspective and because of that has never even stopped to consider that he might -even partially- come from someone else? Of course this is all hypothetical, Vanitas is an enigma of a character.

Old man Xehanort must've just been like "yeah you come from Ventus" and Vanitas was like "ok 👍 why do my memories hurt so much to think about"

On an end note, I hope Ventus does lose it a bit. You don't just... remember events like That (accidentally killing someone, the end of the actual literal world, etc.) and not collapse under the weight of it all.

[firestorm09890]

The combo of Ienzo and Vanitas right next to each other in the bottom left corner of the kh 20th anniversary art is so fucking funny to me. like it’s clear Nomura attempted to group together characters in a way that made sense, but the fact of the matter is that there are so many characters in kh and the web of connections is so complicated, and we already know he was doing this at the last minute, so I think he just gave up and dropped anyone he didn’t know what to do with in that corner

like the top half is for the heroes and the bottom half is for the ✨ Evil Gang ✨, with the right side being members from the og organization who were active in kh3, the middle being Nort club, and the left side being the trio of og org members who came back only to pull some traitor shit. and also Ienzo and Vanitas

yeah you could group Ienzo in with the three traitors except he. isn’t one of those. he was in the organization and then he wasn’t and that was that, he didn’t take part in that sneaky double-crossing (ironically enough lmao). he isn’t close enough to any of the protagonists™️ for it to make sense to put him on the top half, but also his identity in the series as Ienzo is so strong at this point that it wouldn’t make sense to put Zexion in the art, and? everyone else he was associated with in kh3? aren’t even represented in the piece so we’ve got one (1) guy wearing white amongst a sea of edgelords. looks weird, doesn’t it? that’s why he’s off in the very corner

and then poor Vanitas really had nowhere to go at all. his closest connection is to Ventus (which was NOT happening) and then after that is Xehanort, who gets to hang out with his fellow norts, so, fuck. in the corner he goes too

and honestly while I’m here I wanna shout out Saïx, who’s so divorced from Lea that he had to be on the complete opposite edge of the piece; Vexen, who’s super tiny and far away compared to everyone else on the bottom half and doesn’t have anyone to mirror him; and Demyx, who. idk. just completes this I think.

world’s worst friend group

[reallytinyhologram]

Honestly I dont want to have doubts on skuld being subject x but with normura you never know

But like it makes so much sense and everything else feels like an absolute stretch Like the age fits

The Black hair that was mentioned in the characters files

The fact shes from the age of fairytales

The fact xehanort saw her in the players memories which could also explain why he became a bit obessed with her

The sun moon and Star trio

The fact how it was mentioned in the secret reports that she departed her world with others

The 4 friends and a key thing doesnt make as much sense but with the ending it would be safe to assume she does NOT count the Player as friend anymore

Her literal name means future

The fact how her fate wasnt revealed to us yet

She lost importance in Union cross fairly quickly so this is her chance to get important to the story again. And the whole subject x thing has the potential to make her very important to the Story. We dont even know why luxu freed her. Kindness? Did he have a plan in mind when doing so? She was compared to ava so much is she supposed to act as a replacement? Not knowing anything about Luxus intentions alone leaves room for so much Potential. We dont even know her whereabouts yet. She has the potential to make a total change in character. There is so MUCH potential with this whole subject x mystery and the character as a whole

Of course it could still be ava but that honestly kinda seems like a stretch to me. Why would you specifically mention the hair even tho it was never revealed yet, also I dont see ava being as young 15. 18-19 perhabs but not younger. Also the trio theme wouldnt work then because sun moon and fox doesnt really make sense. I mean yeah her being subject x would still make sense but in that case I feel like all the Clues nomura threw in here were supposed to lead us to the completly wrong path and I usually have nothing against that but here it seems a bit...extreme?

Ava suddenly being subject x seems like a last Minute decision to me if im honest. Like normura seeing how we already figured it out and then going "nope" and changing it

I very much like the theory of ava being the true dandelion but subject x? I really do not see the vibe there

The whole "she looks like xehanorts mom" thing obviously brings doubts in this whole theory too but at this point I hope nomura just threw that in there to drive us crazy or to explain xehanorts "obession" with her more. Because guy never met his mom and now suddenly there is some girl that looks like her that seems to be from a completly diffrent timeline like Fr? I would want to find out everything about how she ended up here too....Not in his way tho

Also i dont have anything against skuld staying with ephemer and building up scala. I really like the aesthetic to be honest but in that case where is her Statue? Why wasnt she shown being there with him? Her staying with ephemer also seems like some last Minute decision to me. Especially with the ending where I kinda had the feeling they were trying to suddenly build up romance between them. I like the ship but I would not at all like how nomura handled it

(And I love the thought of them counting as tragic lovers)

Like honestly at this point I would prefer it if nomura suddenly Pulled out some crazy explaination like "Xehanort and skuld are actually half siblings and her mom is a time traveler!" or "Skuld had a secret sister that got together with ephemer!" or sum

Actually that half sibling stuff would be so fucked up lmao

Maybe his mom is also just verdandi

I mean I wouldnt mind her and xehanorts mom having some Kind of connection to eachother but please without her being thrown into the attic and be forgotten about

Anyways to summarize: I still believe skuld is subject x but nomura is driving me crazy and I will riot if he suddenly says she is not subject x

[runsonlovepower]

I can (mouth full) I can see this going two ways. Right. Either vanitas comes back or he doesn’t. And my hypothesis — here’s what I think, I think if he doesn’t come back he’s like a worse tragedy than usual. I don’t want this bc I want to see him but also it’s the best at keeping bbs lore interpretations intact, vanitas isn’t at his core Darkness vanitas is what happened when xehanort tried to pull all the darkness out of ven and since it was already too enmeshed and had Ancient Conscious Goo in it it came out stuck to a piece of vens heart that cracked off from the pressure. Vanitas is ven (partial) supplemented by a lot of darkness and Darkness and since he’s separate he’s his own person now and he hates it he knows he’s empty he wants the rest of him. That’s Him. that’s his he. When ven defeats him he stops existing because his piece returned to someone that isn’t even the og ven anymore despite walking and talking and having all vens pieces. wails alone at a Waffle House and all the servers give me a pitying pat on the head as they pass by me. The second possibility of Vanitas DOES return is dangerous ground but what I think happens is vanitas gets to have an existential crisis Again about how half of him is a dark force that always wanted this, always wanted his body, wants to spread throughout the world with his (?) kin? the rest of him? the darkness? And the other half is a person (was a boy is a new person) with a heart who doesn’t Want to go along with the strange and off putting darknesses. They won’t give him what he wants. The rest of him. To be whole. to be a person. The half of him that gained personhood and the half of him that’s an old cracked heart realize they don’t… He doesn’t want this. and (gestures forcefully causing part of my corndog to fly off) and then he turncoats and becomes our friend antihero dark pit and comes with us and he and ven have to wrestle with capital D darkness togehter

[tiny-cloud-of-flowers]

Okay. As intended: the Clio rambles. This is probably going to be very long and disjointed, but hopefully that is tolerable.

To try and sum them up:

Clio will now have pointed ears once she becomes a Spirit, and I've figured out a way to justify this in the context of what those mean in this series.

I'm fairly confident that I now know when Clio becomes a Spirit, and the circumstances surrounding her doing so. The only thing I'm still slightly missing is how she would actually know how to do it, but the game doesn't exactly explain that when it happens later on to another character, so..

Her story now follows that of the canon KHUX player quite closely, including the bluff at the final battle. A main deviation is that she would have still been hesitant, but ultimately did accept the invitation to the Dandelions, so she comes back with Ephemer and Skuld to gather survivors instead of being one.

The one thing I still don't know at all is how things end - whether I leave Clio in KHUX, or bring her forwards, and if so how and how far.

Okay, now for the actual rambles. Suggestions/comments/criticism/etc. is very much encouraged, because right now I do feel like I'm talking to the wall a bit.

What first started things off, I think, was me trying to justify porting the pointed ears that Clio has in FFXIV back to her original KHUX iteration, because they look cute on her. Both games have characters with these ears, but they mean different things in each one. In FFXIV they're just a natural trait of any Elezen - or Lalafell, but Clio's specifically are because she's half-Elezen there. Conversely, in Kingdom Hearts, they're quite specifically gained from exposure to darkness (or in most characters' cases from being possessed by Xehanort - it's just that he himself is implied to have gained them from darkness exposure in the first place, since he doesn't have pointed ears or golden eyes yet in Dark Road).

Now, Clio is very much not someone who feels the need to use darkness - she has strong light in her heart, and wields it valiantly. So, it wouldn't make very much sense or be very in-character for her to start falling to darkness and gain them as a result of the effect it has on her heart and body. However, as part of the story of my selfship, Clio becomes Aria's Chirithy Spirit (since she was never given one like she should have been, and Clio becoming hers allows her to survive the story). Chirithies are known to be tied to their individual Keyblade wielders, in that if the wielder dies or falls to darkness then so does the Chirithy - so, since Aria is already technically fallen to darkness by virtue of being a Heartless, it makes sense that Clio would also appear to be affected by that darkness (though I don't think she herself would actually become corrupted by it, necessarily - it just looks like she might be). Therefore, I can use that as a reason why Clio has pointed ears, implying darkness exposure, but is still very much a Keyblade wielder of light!

That was the first thing, which then led into the even more rambly part of more general story logistics - specifically, the idea of Clio taking the place of the player in KHUX, but also things like how when and why Clio becomes Aria's Spirit, and what her doing so would mean for her own Chirithy.

To the first part (Clio taking the role of the player): it would be a nice way of giving her more plot importance, as well as making the game’s story itself more important to my selfship’s story. Clio is absolutely the sort of person to make friends with lots of people regardless of their Unions, after all, and it can be fun thinking about how she might interact with the main cast. It also makes the final battle in particular much more fitting: Clio can pull off the trick of being possessed by a true Darkness much more convincingly given that she actually has a supply of darkness to safely draw from - Aria’s.

However, some details would have to be taken into account; firstly, the fact that the player canonically refuses to become a Dandelion, whereas Clio definitely is, to the point that her being one is how Aria is able to reunite with her and make it back to Daybreak Town, as I’ve previously written. However, what I could do in theory is say that, because the two things I wrote as follow-ups to that first piece were both in the Darkling AU, then Clio escaping the war with the Dandelions is also only the case in that AU, leaving the default version of events to line up better with the player’s story in canon where they refuse to join for the sake of those who were not chosen to become Dandelions (which for Clio would absolutely include people like Aria).

This can then in theory lead on to the other big thing I still need to work out, which is how/when/why Clio becomes Aria’s Chirithy/Spirit. For the when and the why.. if Clio is already friends with Skuld and Ephemer like the player is by the time the Keyblade War breaks out, then maybe she can go with them to try and rescue people from the battlefield once it’s all over.. and come across Aria there, as she had been bearing witness to the war but became injured after trying to step in to defend her Nobody counterpart. In the Darkling AU, Aria simply escapes into the realm of darkness at this stage, allowing her injuries to heal and being determined to find her way back to Clio (though being in that realm for too long is what then turns her more into a Darkling). Here, though.. maybe she can be rescued and brought along to where the Dandelions escape to (like the player is in canon, ironically), but is too injured to wake in a world so filled with light, and so Clio decides to (and is somehow able to) dive into her dream - thus becoming a Spirit, in the same way that Riku does much later on? So, that potentially sorts out the Chirithy logistics (albeit I'm not quite sure what would happen to Clio's own Chirithy if she were to become the same type of entity herself).

The other way in which Clio’s story could differ from the canon player’s is at the aforementioned final battle. In the game, the player pretends to be possessed by a true Darkness in order to get Ephemer and Skuld to seal them and four of the true Darknesses away, which leaves the Union leaders with more lifeboats to escape the destruction of the data Daybreak Town. I’ve already said that Clio would be able to bluff this very effectively due to being connected to Aria (who, as a Heartless, is already an entity consumed by darkness), but.. in the game, when this happens, the player taunts the Darknesses before being attacked by them and falling in battle, letting their heart move on and be reborn. And I perhaps understandably don't want that to happen to Clio, unless I say that that's how Arete happens.

At the moment, I'm also not 100% sure what Aria is doing at this time. What currently feels like the most "keeping things consistent with how I had been thinking of them" idea is that Aria takes herself back off into the realm of darkness again to avoid the destruction of the data Daybreak Town, while Clio can then be tangled up with the finale plot alongside the Union leaders, like the canon player - but then when Clio tricks the true Darknesses, she's able to slip out of where she's sealed them thanks to Aria (somehow), so the two can escape via the realm of darkness and subsequently are able to survive together until.. well, maybe Missing Link? When Clio gets out of the darkness but is kept alive/essentially made immortal by Aria still being in there? But, it seems difficult to think that Clio would be able to escape in a way that true Darkness can't, especially if she's going into the realm of darkness to do so. Maybe we can fight them off together? But that's four of the true Darknesses against only two Keyblade wielders, one of which is already a Heartless (and therefore, entity of darkness).. which seems a bit too tricky

Alternatively, if I did stick to giving Clio the player's canon fate.. I'm wondering whether Aria would be able to salvage her heart somehow, preserving her until such a time as the pair can be together again in the light. There's an argument to be made that, as a Spirit and therefore technically a type of Dream Eater, maybe Clio can only appear in Aria's dreams - but Aria doesn't tend to dream in the first place, because I don't. I am still attached to the idea of her being alive and present, though - maybe even ending up on Destiny Islands, to the point of meeting the main/non-KHUX characters. There's still that one piece of writing I haven't finished yet about that. And I can technically do that with Player?? But it's still not clear how they ended up there, honestly..

I think my uncertainly mostly comes from a combination of the following: I don't want to kill Clio off for the sake of sticking to canon, because I don't want things to end with KHUX, but I don't think she would be able to persist in the realm of darkness like Aria does. Maybe I can pull a Nimda and canonically detour her into FFXIV, but I don't really like the sound of that for Clio specifically. So who knows?? I certainly don't!

I think this last part may have to wait until Missing Link is out, and we know how it ties to KHUX more concretely. The timing of how far apart each game is from the others is still up in the air, after all, and seeing how connected the two truly are might maybe help me figure out if I do indeed want to sacrifice self-indulgence (of keeping Clio alive and incorporating her into other games) for narrative satisfaction.

People who know KHUX: please critique. And anyone in general who has something to comment on about this: please also comment.

[cryptidsncurios]

AU: ARE YOU LYCAN MY STYLE

a.k.a.

Xigbar is a Werewolf in this One and As Usual There’s a Lot To Unpack So Get Ready Kids

[[bio subject to change/additions if necessary]]

Name: Designated Luxu, and has changed names throughout the course of time. Currently goes by “Xigbar”

Age: Exact age unknown, but like... old af

Birthdate: Year unknown, but he remembers May 22nd from way back, so sure, that's it now

Creation Location: Modernly the Russian region, exact location unknown

Ethnicity: Modernly identifies as Russian, possibly half something else, but uncertain

Languages: English, Russian, West Slavic languages, and plenty of bits and pieces of various other languages

Height: Human form - 6′0" (About 183 cm) ; Wolf form - Approx. 9ft fully standing (About 274 cm)

Weight: Human -180-ish lbs (About 82-ish kg) ; Wolf form - Uhhh Heavy. :|

Race: Lycan

Sex / Gender: Cisgender Male

Sexual / Romantic Orientation: Pansexual / Demiromantic

History:

Perhaps Luxu had always been what he was---something a little more than a werewolf, but nonetheless a captive of the moon's power.

His pack consisted of a strange bunch---referred to as the "Foretellers"---always in robes and masks, and under the tutelage of he who was called "Master of Masters." They were magical, the lot of them, including Luxu---ancient and terrifying. Mortals that knew of their existence feared and revered them, as though they were something close to deities, and would clamor for their benevolence and protection.

But after some time of roaming the world, far into the east, the Master gave them each an important "Role"---Roles that would dictate the future, though he never specified exactly how, and each were told in secret from the others---and Luxu was no different. He was tasked with observing the evolution of mankind---and that, amongst them, one amongst the pack would turn traitorous towards their Role.

Thus Luxu was given the Gazing Eye---that which had belonged to the Master himself, then horrifically implanted into his right eye---and when the pain had finally subsided, he found himself alone, left with nothing more than his Role and his intuition as his guide.

And so he wandered the vast world, traveling ever-westward from what would some day be called "Russia," the years ticking by. Despite the curses he carried---both his lycanthropy and the Eye that so often plagued him with its agonies---he attempted to adapt to a normal lifestyle, trying to blend in with the blossoming human population as best as he could.

Each attempt ended in failure.

Whether due to the still-uncontrollable violence of the Wolf within him, or his extended lifespan, all of his efforts were for naught. And with no companions with which he could share his life, and no chance for him to have a family due to his biology, Luxu was cast into utter despair. Attempts were made to cease this despair---but even that was impossible.

Thus, he continued his traveling and his aching, adopting new aliases and seeking purpose beyond his Role that he had come to see as an eternal hell on earth.

Adopting the identity of "Braig" in the mid-1900s, serendipity seemingly led him to what would become his life for several decades: joining the growing pack of a lycan named "Xehanort."

Xehanort had a family of his own already, kin that he had created from human-shaped dolls called "Replicas," with the assistance of an associate named Even (who would, eventually, be the second to have the Bite befall him, after Dilan and before Aeleus). These beings created from the Replicas were dubbed his "sons," named Xemnas the Superior (idk how ansem will fit into this but whatevs, i might figure it out later??), Ansem the Seeker, and the Young One. (again idk listen this can change.)

Braig---dubbed "Xigbar" upon his entry into the fold---was the first outsider to join (and intrigued Xehanort with what he could sense was powerful lycanthropy, thus his allowance into the pack), followed by Xaldin, Vexen, and etc, all the way to Roxas.

Vexen then furthered his experiments with the Replicas at the behest of Xehanort---though, despite his passion for scientific research, became acutely suspicious that Xehanort's plans were moving beyond simply making their "family" a tad larger.

And of course, Xigbar had been aware of Xehanort's malice from the beginning.

Once perfected, he intended use his magical prowess to absorb all the abilities and power that he had granted and nurtured within the rest of the pack, and combine it with the Replicas---to create terrifying werewolves that could probably destroy anything in their path.

Because, like... world domination, or whatever. Or maybe to balance out werewolves to humans. There's definitely some kind of Prophecy involved but.. Like, this is Xehanort, does it really have to make sense? Nah, it just has to work.

In the end, aside the 'Nort family, the pack worked together---Xigbar included---and destroyed all of the Replicas, and each and every trace of research was stolen away by Vexen---to which location it was delivered to remain forever a secret. (It was at this point that, from one of the Replicas was tainted with Xigbar's spilled blood, and thus Xion ( @perditos )---basically his daughter---was created, and taken under the control of Vexen for even further study, with Xigbar's DNA tampered through, y'know, science-y stuff. But that is something he would have to deal with in the future...)

Plans thwarted, Xehanort and his family retreated to who-knows-where, and the pack dissolved, each of them going their own ways.

And so Xigbar exists in Salem, MA these days---just chillin', I s'pose.

...At least, until he has to deal with the next living nightmare.

World Notes:

This is the kind of world where everything fantastical exists. Therefore, ethereal beings, mythical monsters, and all creatures that are a part of global lore are real in this universe, and have been around for as far as history recalls. However, they’ve all had to adapt over time to fit into the ways of the modern world, no longer exactly feared and revered as they used to be. So catch your vampires working at your local 24-hour gas station during the nightshift, forest nymphs tending to the gardening section of the hardware store, and—for the G.aiman fans—djinns driving taxi cabs in the big city. To the untrained eye, though, they’re just people like anyone else.

Werewolf Rules:

There are actually an array of forms of lycanthropy that differ from the type of curse that Xigbar himself has, with their individual quirks. Xigbar's particular lycanthropic curse is unique in that his Bites are instantaneously fatal, as his birth with the Master and the Foretellers is quite mysterious in origin. However, other forms of lycanthropy will turn others through the Bite (such as Xehanort and his clan), but only if the victim of the attack survives. Often werewolf attacks prove lethal due to their viciously venemous nature, but those with strong blood and resolve will recover, albeit now burdened with the curse.

Initially, the transformations of newly-born werewolves are uncontrollable and completely dictated by the moon, victims of the curse thrown into a mindless, frenzied state, starving only for a release from their bloodlust. However, over time and through force of will, one can control their urges during the full moon metamorphoses, and—eventually—engage in transformations at will, even without the aid of the moon’s power (Xigbar's ability is at this point, due to his experience). In the end, though, a metamorphosis must take place during the full moon.

No matter their age, however, transformations still take a physical toll, and depending on how long they’ve been transformed, time equivalent must be taken to recuperate.

Werewolves are usually grouped into families or packs. Within families, usually there is an understood hierarchy, but when wolves from different families, unrelated by blood, form a pack, this often causes an innate power struggles for dominance—hence the creation of ranks.

The particular form of lycanthropy Xigbar has rendered him sterile, so he's just a lonely lil fella from here on out. :(

The number one weakness of werewolves as a whole? Silver. (And, hilariously, Xigbar himself has a whole cache of silver bullets—just in case he has to deal with any unwanted guests.)

There is no known cure for the lycanthropic curse.

Odds and Ends:

Xigbar has studied a slew of religions and spiritual beliefs, but ultimately, he has become somewhat enamored of Paganism. The deities he occasionally pays tribute to are Jarilo (a Slavic deity) and Dionysus (Greek), both of which are closely tied in origin—and he likes them because they’re just overall pretty chill in his book. He also admires Artemis, due to her association with archery, the hunt, and the moon.

He jokingly identifies as a Vědmák, even though it’s not completely accurate, but it still gives him a chuckle.

Originally incredibly skilled with a bow, Xigbar has updated his skill to firearms, and—as always—is an amazing shot.

He currently semi-resides in Salem, MA, due to New England’s rather magical leanings drawing him there.

[[more to be added]]

[catboygirljoker]

What were your thoughts about KHearts before you got into it vs Now having been into it? Also late welcome to the community hope you've had fun!

thankyou :D!! i have had fun, sitting in my little crevice and exporting my xigbar images and xigbar posts. im happy that people have connected with it in some way :]

thoughts about KH before i got into it:

for some reason i was under the impression that the games were about a boy who has dreams about disney worlds. and he has regular size feet in the real world and only has big feet in the dream world. i also think he traveled with mickey and not donald or goofy

also for some reason i was under the impression that ventus was sora's dad. it was not until i actually watched the cutscenes in birth by sleep and saw lea and isa that i realized OH. this is NOT as far back on the timeline as i thought it was

images of a spiky red boy and a spiky blond boy and a black haired depressed girl eating ice cream together with lots&lots of people sobbing in the replies. (REALLY emphasized the slow creeping emotional dread of that game for me. like golly i sure hope i dont get emotionally destroyed like all those other people! and then i , was)

when i was in middle/high school i had friends who were super into it, but i was never able to play it because my parents had a policy of No Consoles. we were allowed to have handhelds, though, because my family took frequent road trips, so when i found out that there was a KH game for DS i said to a friend "oh, cool! dyou think id be able to play it without playing the other games?" and she looked at me, and looked at her copy of Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days, and said "........no"

only ~15 years later do i realize how funny of a question that was

thoughts about KH as i was getting into it:

too numerous to count. i shall attempt to keep it moderately brief

last year my husband listened to a podcast called "lore dump" where people explain the lore of different media to each other, and they did an episode/series on kingdom hearts, and i heard some pretty WaCkY sTuFf (i specifically remember them explaining what the recusant's sigil is, in the context of xigbar explaining that they'd been tracking sora and riku through the story of DDD)

found a vod of one of my favorite streamers streaming 1 and 2 to benefit abortion rights in texas, and i was like, well, here's my chance, heh, im gonna understand all of the WaCkY LoRe

i start up the stream. within the first 15 minutes i Get it. like it feels very dated in a lot of ways but i instantly understood what made people connect so strongly with this series. even as someone who didn't grow up with any attachment to it, and was a little put off of it even by how into it my friends were, to me kh1 is just pure high octane nostalgia. the tone is so specific and warm and bittersweet. i cried multiple times during the ending. it just really got to me! i was hooked!

when i fixate on a media property i like to have a hot person to chew on. i really. really thought it was gonna be axel. he is exactly the kind of character i would've fixated on when i was younger, when i had friends who were into KH. older mentor figure character who takes younger characters under his wing. associated with fire. projects brash confidence. k,ills people. he's a really good character! i love him a lot! every time he appears on screen i get on all fours and start barking! and there's all this fanart and merch and...then i got distracted......

hey blake in early 2023. it's me, blake in late 2024. have you heard of kingdom hearts. yeah. yeah youre gonna get really into it. yeah youre gonna have the longest running blorbo since you mega-fixated on the tenth doctor when you were 14. yeah. yeah um. you know the clip where the guy says "me? i'm already half xehanort!" and sora says "that's..nuts!"? yeah that guy? yeah. yeah. that guy. the half xehanort guy. yeah youre gonna make a fool of yourself online for that guy.

[lynxgriffin]

I don't know why I thought this but I randomly thought about one of Ralsei's eyes turning yellow and the explanation given is that he is "already half Xehanort" {cue Susie saying "That's Nuts"}

Thinking that, though...wouldn't that make more sense for Spamton? He's already got one yellow eye! Or at least glasses that make it look like it!

[kingdomnerds]

Ok! So, I wrote another one! I think this would fit Day 5 (A wish/want) for the #kh4challenge. I know this most likely will not happen at all. But, this definitely brings me closure and I had a lot of fun writing it. Enjoy!!

TW: Implied/Referenced torture (nothing too graphic), vomiting (nothing too graphic), and implied/referenced murder

Sora sucked in a breath. They had arrived at the abandoned shipyard. Well, more like the warehouse was abandoned. Ships still came and went with cargo. He glanced over at Xehanort. The young man had a sharp glare on his face.

“I don't like this Sora. We should turn back.”

Sora snorted and placed his hands on his hips, a smug smirk on his face as he leaned forward slightly.

“What? Scared already?” He teased.

Xehanort scoffed. “As if I’d be scared. I just…have a bad feeling about this place. Something isn't right.”

“Yeah. That’s why we came here in the first place.”

“Still…”

Sora swung an arm around Xehanort, or at least attempted to, considering Xehanort was taller than him. “Come on! A little adventure never hurt. Besides, we’ll be in and out quickly.”

Xehanort sighed. “Alright, fine. Let’s go.”

Sora unwrapped his arm around the older teen and they both began to walk toward the door. Sora summoned his keyblade and unlocked the door. He opened it. The two of them winced as the door let out a loud whine.

Xehanort scoffed. “Well, if anyone’s here, they’ll know we’ve arrived,” He grumbled.

Sora ignored him. “Come on.”

The inside was dark and damp. The sounds of water dripping reverberated throughout the warehouse. Surprisingly, there was a door at the very end of the wide-open space. Sora and Xehanort approached.

Sora tugged on the door handle. It was unlocked. Sora opened it. They both looked inside. The hallway was pitch black. It was eerie and one could hear the subtle groans from metal pipes that echoed in the hall. Xehanort and Sora continued to stare. Xehanort spoke first.

“Well, we checked it out. There’s nothing here. Let's just head back.”

Sora quickly grabbed Xehanort by the wrist. “Come on! We’ve already come so far!”

“Maybe. But I’d rather not take my chances of getting murdered.”

“Such a spoilsport,” Sora grumbled.

Xehanort rolled his eyes. “Spoilsport, he says. You don't know the half of it, Sora.”

Sora glares at him. “I think I know plenty.”

They’re both silent for a bit before Sora sighs. “Sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Let's just keep going.”

Sora summons his keyblade and walks in first. The light from the tip of the blade lights up the hallway. “Right…” Xehanort mumbles before following in Sora’s footsteps and joining him.

They’re both quiet as they walk further and further down the hall. They reach a metal crate. Sora glances at it before sighing. Maybe Xehanort was right. They hadn't run into anything. Sora turned to Xehanort and was about to suggest they leave when a blood-curdling scream pierced through the quiet of the hall. Both of them froze and looked down the hall where the scream had come from.

Sora could feel his heart speed up and thump in his ears. He glanced back at Xehanort. “You heard that too, right?” He whispered, not able to hide the shakiness of his voice.

Xehanort’s face hardened. “Yeah.” He responded lowly.

Xehanort once again looked to Sora. “Sora, we should head back.”

“But what if whoever screamed is in trouble?”

“Well, that's their problem to solve. I only have one life, not thirteen others to preserve myself in and I’d rather not get killed today.” He said, grabbing Sora’s wrist.

Sora wretched his hand out of Xehanort's grip. “No! I'm not just going to leave someone who’s suffering alone! Even if we only have one life, I’d rather use it being selfless than selfish. What about you?” Sora asked.

“There’s no problem with being selfish sometimes, Sora,” Xehanort responded.

“Well, then you can wait outside. I’ll be out in a bit.”

“No. I'm not leaving you.” Xehanort stated firmly.

“Then I guess you’re coming with me then,” Sora said, continuing forward.

Xehanort sighed but followed Sora nonetheless. Another scream pierced through the quiet, causing both of them to flinch. Sora walked faster. The wails of pain and agony only got louder and louder the closer they got to the source.

Then all of a sudden, they stopped. The only sound that could be heard in the hall was Xehanort and Sora’s nervous breathing.

A door handle on the right wall turned. Xehanort saw an open door and quickly grabbed Sora’s wrist. They let their keyblades disappear, bathing the hall in darkness once more.

They heard the sound of a door shut loudly. Xehanort stood still against a wall inside the room they had entered with Sora pressed against him. He quickly placed a hand over his mouth to silence his breathing. He placed his other hand over Sora’s mouth. The brunette placed both of his hands over Xehanort’s.

The sound of boots clicking against the floor seemed so loud in the quiet. They both heard the footsteps stop at the entrance to the room. The figure stepped in and looked around. A bright blue eye could be seen from underneath what looked like a hood. Sora and Xehanort stayed still, hoping the darkness of the room was enough to cover up their presence.

The figure then left. The two keyblade wielders stayed still, waiting for the sound of footsteps to become nonexistent.

Once they were safe, Xehanort pulled his hands away. Sora didn't let go of his hand yet. “T-Thanks…” He murmured, still shaken and terrified.

“Don’t mention it…” Xehanort replied quietly, hiding his fear better than the brunette. Sora let go of Xehanort's hand and they both summoned their keyblades again. The light lit up the room. Xehanort peeked out of the room.

“All clear?” Sora whispered.

“Yeah,” Xehanort replied. They both quietly walked out.

“That’s the room the person walked out of,” Xehanort said, pointing to a door.

“Think that’s where the screaming came from?” Sora asked.

Xehanort shrugged. “Only one way to find out.” Xehanort slowly reached out and opened the door. The two winced. “Ugh, smells like…blood…” Sora murmured, his eyes growing wide in fear. Sora held his keyblade out, lighting up the room.

Sora and Xehanort’s eyes went wide in horror.

“No…” Xehanort murmured. His shaky breathing became even more uneven and shaky. He shook his head.

“No no no no no…”

“A-Are you ok—”

“I think I'm gonna be sick…” Xehanort said before quickly rushing out of the room. He only managed to make it a few feet before he vomited. He had one hand on the wall holding him steady while his other hand was wrapped around his middle.

He spat up bile before letting out a choked sob. Tears rolled down his cheeks as horrible memories resurfaced in his mind.

“Seek answers to the unjust ways of the world. To the darkness.”

“You two will make twelve and lucky number thirteen.”

“Checkmate! I win, you lose!”

Xehanort let out another sob. He didn't realize Sora was by his side until he could hear his voice; soft and worried as he tried to comfort Xehanort.

“That’s it! Deep breaths. In and out.” Xehanort's breathing began to slowly even out. He felt disgusting and no doubt looked like a mess. He looked at Sora with gratitude.

“Thanks…” He said.

Sora nodded. “Of course. Do…do you know who that is?” Sora asked.

Xehanort nodded. “He…he was an old friend. Classmate. Used to be…” He murmured.

Sora offered a hand and Xehanort hesitantly took it. Sora carefully led him back to the room where Baldr sat, chained to a wall with blood and other bodily fluids staining the walls and floor.

“He…we need to cast a healing spell if we want to get him somewhat stable…” Xehanort said.

Sora nodded. “Heal.” The signature soft green and white bells surrounded the unconscious young man. Xehanort summoned his keyblade and unlocked the chains.

Baldr’s wrists fell from where they hung and he couldn't keep himself sitting up as he keeled over sideways. Xehanort quickly caught him before he fell.

Sora came up on Xehanort’s other side and helped the bloody boy up. “Let’s get outta here…” Xehanort said. 

“Don't have to tell me twice,” Sora said and they both ran.

~~~

He slowly blinked his eyes open. Pain shot from every nerve of his body. He groaned in pain. He heard a sharp gasp before someone was at his side. A girl with orange hair tied in loose low ponytails was at his side in an instant.

Baldr quickly shot up in fear. His eyes wandered. Behind the girl was a brunette who looked to be a few years younger than him and beside him was…his eyes widened in fear. Xehanort.

“Hey, can you hear me?” The girl asked softly.

Baldr looked her way and nodded. 

“Good. Can you tell me your name?” She asked. 

He licked his lips before answering. “Baldr.” He saw Xehanort flinch out of the corner of his eye.

“Nice to meet you, Baldr. How are you feeling? Be honest with me.”

He was silent. “Sore. Thirsty.” He began. His stomach let out a low growl. He wrapped his arms around his middle. 

“And uh…hungry…” The girl gave him a soft smile. She turned around. “Xehanort, could you get Baldr some food and water, please?”

Xehanort glanced his way before sighing quietly. “Yeah.”

And he left.

Baldr let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. 

The brunette sat down on a nearby chair and gave him a smile. “I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Strelitzia. The boy over there is Sora. And uh…I'm assuming you already know Xehanort.”

Baldr nodded. Xehanort came back with some leftover pizza and water. Baldr took it. “Thank you.” He mumbled before digging in without another word. He finished quickly, the others watching him quite impressed that he was able to finish so fast.

“Baldr…who did this to you?”

“No one. Nothing you guys need to worry about.” Baldr answered quickly before Strelitzia could continue.

“Wh— Baldr, it's not nothing! You were tortured!” Xehanort retaliated with a glare.

“Why do you care?”

“Why wouldn't I?!”

Baldr let out a humorless laugh. “Oh, I don't know. Maybe because I killed my own sister?! All of her friends and yours?!”

“Baldr—”

“I deserved to be in that man’s grasp. All I brought was pain back home. The darkness in me I-I…” Baldr ran his fingers through his hair and began to loudly hyperventilate.

Sora looked like he wanted to say and do something but Strelitzia quickly put her hand out, stopping him.

“This is something they have to figure out on their own.” She whispered sadly as Xehanort hesitantly approached Baldr.

Sora sighed despondently. She was right. They both stood up and walked to the kitchen to give the two some space.

Xehanort, now at Baldr’s side, hesitantly placed a hand on his back. “Baldr, you need to breathe or you’ll pass out.”

“Why don't you hate me?” Baldr asked in between sharp inhales.

“Because that wasn't you in control. It was darkness.”

“But aren't you mad at me?!”

“Yes! I was!”

Baldr flinches and pauses. “W-Was?” He repeats quietly. Xehanort nods. He sucks in a deep breath before continuing.

“Of course, I was mad at first. I was absolutely terrified when we found you and that anger from years ago resurged. I had just watched you murder keyblade wielders before my very eyes. But, you weren’t in control. The darkness…I heard it say, “You and your weak heart” before you killed your sister a second time. Clearly, you didn't want to.”

Baldr froze and looked away. “But—”

“You were my friend, Baldr.”

“No. I was no one’s friend. I never fit in. I never had a friendship like you and Eraqus or even with the rest of our classmates.” He sucked in a shaky breath, tears swimming in his eyes. 

Xehanort took hold of his hand. Baldr quickly looked down at it before looking back up at Xehanort. Xehanort had begun to silently cry, tears rolling down his face. Baldr swallowed and began to sniffle, tears rolling down his face as he tries with all his power to not cry.

“I…I always felt like an outcast. With the way my heart was and all. I got in trouble often as the emotions of others would bleed into my own. A few people called me crazy. My own parents favored Hoder over me. I was the problem child. She was the perfect daughter.”

Baldr let out a sob. “I can only imagine h-how my parents reacted; knowing I was attacking Scala and killing innocents and keyblade wielders alike.”

Xehanort squeezed his hand tighter. “You and that boy shouldn’t have saved me…” Baldr whispered and tried to wipe away a few tears. But it was futile as they just kept on coming.

“Baldr,” Xehanort whispered gently. The white-haired teen glanced up to meet Xehanort’s eyes. 

“What happened in the past, is in the past. I've done some horrible stuff ever since you were defeated. We can't change it. And it still stings. But…all that matters now is how we choose to live in the present and future.” Baldr slowly looks away. 

Xehanort’s other hand grabs the hand he’s already holding. Desperate tears fall out of pain-filled eyes.

“I’ve lost everyone, Baldr. I don't want to lose you again too.” He begs.

Baldr looks up to meet him. “I-I’m sorry!” He finally sobs. Xehanort pulls him in for a hug. Baldr desperately hugs back, spilling out years' worth of pent-up emotions. 

Sora silently listens from the kitchen, a frown on his face. He glances over at Strelitzia who is pulling down snacks from the pantry. “Do you think Baldr will like these?” She asks, holding up a package of cookies. Sora smiles. “I think he will.” He glances back toward the living room.

Xehanort and Baldr finally pull away from their hug. Strelitzia decides to come in with Sora close behind with a lot of junk food in hand. She dumps it all on the coffee table and offers Baldr a smile. “Crappy food tends to fix a crappy day.”

“Thank you,” Baldr says with a smile. He hesitantly takes some cookies. Sora sends Xehanort a concerned look but he simply waves him off. 

Strelitzia sighs as she glances out the window. “It’s getting late. Baldr you are welcome to crash on our couch. You’re welcome to stay the night as well, Xehanort.”

“I’ll take you up on that offer,” Xehanort replies with a tired smile. 

“Well…goodnight, guys,” Sora says before he and Strelitzia disappear into their bedrooms.

Xehanort gently squeezes Baldr’s hand. “Rest up. We’ll talk more in the morning.” Baldr nods and watches as Xehanort walks over to Sora’s room.

Baldr looks down at the junk food on the coffee table and helps himself to some more snacks.

~~~

Xehanort walked out of the attached bathroom and rubs his hair dry with a towel. Sora lays a sleeping bag down on the floor next to his bed. They’re both dressed in their pajamas. 

“Thanks for letting me use your shower.” Xehanort says in almost a mumble, that Sora almost misses it.

Sora smiles. “Of course.”

Xehanort hangs the towel up before turning off the bathroom lights. He takes the offered pillow from Sora and settles into the sleeping bag. Sora turns off the lamp and gets into bed. It's quiet except for the sounds of shuffling as the two try and get comfortable. And when the shuffling has ended, the room is silent. Xehanort stares up at the ceiling.

The silence is finally broken when Sora speaks. “Xehanort, if you don't mind me asking…”

Xehanort waits for Sora to finish his sentence. But he doesn’t.

“Go on.”

“…How do you know Baldr?”

Xehanort sighs. He can practically see Sora wincing. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” Sora says.

“No, It’s fine. Just…a bit difficult to talk about.”

“We don't have to if you don't want to. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“It's fine. We…we were classmates. He was a bit quiet. Yet kind. My class was small, consisting of seven people. Myself and Baldr included. So we were all friends. But…Baldr had a lot of darkness in him that ended up going unchecked. In Scala, which is a very light-centric society, if he were to ever reveal that to someone…well…he would've disappeared without a trace and nobody would’ve been able to find him.”

Sora shudders and pulls his blankets up higher. “That sounds awful…”

“It is. But…nobody knew any better. I didn't really know any better either. It's what we were taught. So that darkness festered. His sensitive heart only made things worse. He relied on others for light. But…it became too much. His darkness ended up taking over. And…many people ended up losing their lives. Many of my friends included…”

Xehanort swallowed. “I ended up delivering the final blow. I ended Baldr’s life.”

He could hear the small, surprised, and horrified gasp from Sora. 

“It was rough. But…I’m glad Baldr’s here.”

Sora rolled over in bed, looking down at Xehanort in his sleeping bag. “Why’s that?”

A small smile appeared on Xehanort’s face. “It’s like we both get a second chance. Besides, we’re all we have left. And I won't let Baldr go through something like that alone again.”

Sora smiled. “You know, you’re a good friend, Xehanort.”

Xehanort froze before his smile softened. “Thank you…Sora.”

“Of course.”

It was once again silent. Xehanort had thought Sora had fallen asleep before he spoke again. “Do…do you think we may have been friends? You know…before everything? If we had been from the same time period? No light or darkness or conflict involved?” Sora asked.

Xehanort rolled over in his sleeping bag. “I think so. I mean, we’re pretty good friends now.”

Sora smiled before he let out a yawn. “Good. Cause I like being friends with you. The past aside. Baldr is lucky to have you by his side through all of this.”

Xehanort froze at the compliment. He went to say something but Sora was fast asleep. Xehanort shook his head and relaxed in his sleeping bag.

“Thanks, Sora. All of your friends are lucky to have you too. I’m…glad we’re friends.” 

And Xehanort fell asleep shortly after.

Hope you enjoyed! :)

[plateauofmemories]

Anyway after watching like, half of the KHIII cutscenes last Friday I feel even more confident that they prioritized the game making emotional sense over having it make like. Logical sense. At all.

Almost any given scene feels good and true and emotionally resonant in itself, but trying to take any of the together gets nonsensical.

Like, what is the plot - Xehanort is trying to recreate the Ancient Keyblade War to forge the χ-blade and summon Kingdom Hearts. Sure. Cool. How are we going to do that? By gathering 13 Seekers of Darkness and 7 Guardians of Light to clash? Okay, then why is True Org XIII like, actively trying to disrupt Sora + co's attempts to gather their 7? Why is MX so like, triumphant in 3D when he points out two in Mickey's count belong to him? Like, if you need them to have a full team to achieve your goal, don't you... Want them to fill out their ranks? Why drown Aqua in darkness, you need them to get Aqua.

Okay, but maybe you don't want them to get their 7 because you'd rather get the princesses of heart and use them as your 7! And you don't want them raining on your parade. Except everybody is definitely describing that as the backup plan in KHIII. So. Y'know.

But what about the 13 Seekers of Darkness? We're gonna make a bunch of people Xehanort! Which, when done to Terra and almost done to Sora seems to be a process that totally subsumes the host's personality/consciousness (or at least should - Terra still being able to resist is what causes Xehanort all those problems!); the cast for KHIII, however, seems to basically be themselves but with yellow eyes. So maybe we decided we don't need to do all that.

Except when Larxene is dying, she makes some comment like "becoming that old geezer's heart tank? No thanks.". This gives us a look into her feelings/character! But also like, girl, we are in the Keyblade Graveyard barreling towards the endgame at top speed. What the fuck do you mean "becoming"? You're not already?? We are making the goddamn χ-blade right now.

Xigbar actively complains about finding a 13th vessel multiple times. They have two backups on deck.

Like.

More than one iron in the fire and a plan for every eventuality but also no one seems to know which iron is the priority and which eventuality we are supposed to be actively aiming for.

And I'd guess that's probably because each featured draft of the plot worked to showcase some of the characters' finales while cutting out others and they just. Decided to get everybody in, fuck whatever happens to the plot.