#hermitcraft chatfic

[soemthingsparkly]

The Hermit Coffee Co. Pt 1

I got made redundant without entitlement to redundancy pay a couple days ago so I needed to make comfort art so have this hermit coffee shop chatfic I spent most part of the evening on

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Grian and Mumbo 10 Nov 23 7:32am

Grian: guess who got the fucking job then

Mumbo: was it you

Grian: of course it was me

Mumbo: nice

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The Hermit Coffee Co. 10 Nov 23 8:04am

Grian has been added to The Hermit Coffee Co.

Xisuma: Everybody welcome Grian to the team. He'll be working weekday afternoons, with the occasional weekend shift.

Joe™: welcome to the gang, Grian :B

CleoZo: hey fresh meat!

Impulse: Hey Grian, will be nice to finally meet you :)

Grian: hey guys! im excited to get started

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ScarGT and Mumbo 10 Nov 23 10:31am

ScarGT: ahoyhoy MumboJumbo

Mumbo: Scar, I told you to stop calling me that

ScarGT: but it's your name, is it not?

Mumbo: when we were freshmen, scar

ScarGT: pish posh! you're never too old for a nickname sir jumbo

Mumbo: hello scar what can I do for you today?

ScarGT: so this grain fellow - is this your British friend?

Mumbo: …

Mumbo: yes

ScarGT: intresting intresting

Mumbo: is it?

ScarGT: why of course!

ScarGT: gaining a new member to our little bodare is always exciting!

Mumbo: bodwhat?

Mumbo: nevermind

Mumbo: don't scare him away immediately, okay? you lot are intense as it is

ScarGT: I can't believe you'd suggest such a thing mumbo!

ScarGT: I would never do such a thing as that

ScarGT: the fact that you think I would is inconcivebel

ScarGT: inconsievible

ScarGT: I can't consieve of it!

Mumbo: oh yeah? and what did you do when Bdubs started?

ScarGT: …

ScarGT: Well

ScarGT: Hm

ScarGT: In my defence I didn't realise Cub had already poured two shots in beforehand

ScarGT: I didn't know it even was possible for eyes to blow out like that in real life!

Mumbo: see you tomorrow Scar

Mumbo: and it's Grian by the way

ScarGT: what did I say?

ScarGT: dang it

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The Hermit Coffee Co. 12 Nov 23 9:01am

Xisuma: Shipment of coffee coming in tomorrow. Should arrive after lunch rush. Can someone who's on let me know and I'll come and put it in storage.

Joe™: yessir

Xisuma: Thanks Joe.

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Grian and Mumbo 12 Nov 23 9:12am

Mumbo: Sorry in advance for whatever shenanigans are inflicted on you tomorrow

Grian: well thats ominous

Mumbo: I'd warn you ahead of time but I don't know what he might have planned

Mumbo: just don't drink anything Scar makes for you

Grian: who

Grian: oh wait thats your college buddy right?

Grian: ye ol American Frat Bro™

Mumbo: we were not a frat

Grian: werent you?

Mumbo: we weren’t

Grian: just a house full of nerdy frat bros getting wasted and redstoned together

Mumbo: it wasn't a frat, we were just living together

Mumbo: we were roommates

Grian: and they were roommates

Mumbo: I'm not having this conversation with you again

Grian: remember the time you rang me at like three in the morning because you were on a four day bender with the boys

Grian: and you were off your face

Grian: and you kept saying you wanted to tell me something but you couldn’t remember what and you kept dropping in sentences about redstone from conversations you’d had hours before

Grian: do you remember that Mumbo

Grian: do you

Mumbo: …

Mumbo: in my defence that was Tango's idea

Mumbo: and also it wasn't a bender, it was a swarm session and it was finals and

Mumbo: why am I explaining myself to you again

Mumbo: I'm not explaining this to you again

Grian: what was it you guys called it again?

Mumbo: don't make me say it

Grian: something beginning with a J

Mumbo: Java Circuit

Mumbo: but it was a joke

Mumbo: not a frat!

Grian: hahahahahahahahaha

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Java Circuit -1 12 Nov 23 11:13am

Tango added Impulse Tango added Skizz Tango added Zeddaph Tango added ScarGT

Tango: So this is definitely the guy Mumbo's been crushing on for years right?

Skizz: Oh absolutely

Impulse: Most definitely.

Zeddaph: What guy?

Impulse: Zed, you really need to start reading the work chat.

Zeddaph: Well I would if it wasn't all weekday admin stuff I don't need to know!

Tango: what else do you expect from a weekend boy?

Tango: Hey, Z, why don't you pull yourself away from that PhD of yours for two seconds and pay attention to something that actually matters?

Skizz: XD

Zeddaph: oh right yes my apologies

Zeddaph: how dare I seek to expand my mind and pursue an academic career

Zeddaph: may the heavens forgive me

Tango: forgiven

Tango: now go read

Zeddaph: alright alright I'm going

Impulse: :)

Skizz: I'm gonna interfere

Impulse: Skizz, no, leave them alone!

Tango: ahaha

Skizz: aw come on impy

Impulse: Be nice!

Skizz: what do you mean be nice?? I am being nice!

Skizz: If our beloved MJ needs some gentle nudging then consider me a nudger

ScarGT: what's this?

Zeddaph: okay okay I'm caught up

Zeddaph: hang on a second, Skizz doesn't even work at the shop 

Zeddaph: how does he know before me!

Skizz: because I pay attention

Impulse: Yeah and because he thrives on workplace gossip.

Skizz: and that, yes

ScarGT: wait what are you guys talking about?

Impulse: Sorry, Scar. We’re talking about Mumbo’s old friend.

Tango: Mumbo's old British friend

Tango: the one that's starting tomorrow

Skizz: little mumby's loverboy

ScarGT: what?

ScarGT: you mean Grian?

Impulse: Yeah tango thinks mumbo is crushing on him.

Skizz: as we all do.

Impulse: As do we.

ScarGT: why do you think that?

Tango: scar, are you serious?

Tango: the guy basically funded his move here

Tango: they're always texting

Tango: they were basically always on call during senior year

ScarGT: well sure

ScarGT: but

ScarGT: I just assumed they were good friends

ScarGT: like Skizz and Impulse!

Skizz: yes but you forget an important part of that comparison scarface

ScarGT: what?

Skizz: me and impy are special

Tango: jeez get a room you guys

Impulse: Okay, but in Scar's defence, they could just be good friends. We’re jumping the gun a little. 

Tango: nope, no way

Skizz: I know what love looks like, impulse

Tango: it looks like a fully grown moustached-man mooning over the tawny haired British guy on his computer screen

Skizz: this is what love looks like, impulse

ScarGT: you really think Mumbo's in love with him?

Impulse: At least a crush, maybe.

Skizz: absolutely head over heels

Tango: I mean think about it Scar

Tango: if Mumbo wasn't trying to hide something, why haven't we met the guy yet? 

Tango: He's been in the country for at least a week now

Tango: and there was plenty of opportunity to introduce us over call, too

Tango: you know why we haven’t met him yet, scar? 

ScarGT: why?

Tango: its because Mumbo can't control his broody face around him

Tango: also wheres @Zeddaph gone?

Skizz: he's afraid of love

Tango: coward

Tango: @Zeddaph

Zeddaph: Hello yes

Zeddaph: would you believe this weekend boy is working his weekend shift?

Zeddaph: I'll catch up with your mother's meeting when I don't have a queue out the door thanks very much

Skizz: …

Tango: weekend waster

Skizz: total weekend waster

---

Grian and Mumbo 12 Nov 23 10:44pm

Grian: [image attachment]

Grian: this kind of thing is good for tomorrow, right?

Mumbo: yeah, looks ace mate

Grian: alright cool

Grian: why am I nervous about this?

Mumbo: new jobs are scary?

Grian: I've done scarier things

Mumbo: well yeah but it's a big group of new people in a high pressure setting you’re not familiar with yet

Mumbo: I think you have every reason to be nervous

Mumbo: but don't worry, I start at 10, so I'll be there before you and we'll close down together later :)

Mumbo: it's all going to be good, I promise

Mumbo: the guys can be a little intense but I know you're gonna love them

Mumbo: they're absolutely insane so you'll fit right in

Grian: pfft thanks

Mumbo: don't mention it :)

Mumbo: are you gonna knock off soon?

Grian: I'll try but I've been having vivid dreams again

Grian: like I'm stuck in a confined space and I feel compelled to

Grian: anyway

Grian: yeah I'll sleep soon probably

Mumbo: you want to call? don't mind keeping it on overnight if you need it

Grian: I'll be okay I think

Grian: Pearl's TV is on in her bedroom and it's actually kind of soothing lol

Grian: feels normal I guess

Grian: what I assume is normal anyway lmao

Mumbo: alright

Mumbo: listen I'll probably be awake for a bit anyway, Zed's sent me part of a manuscript he wants me to have a glance over so just text me if you need me

Mumbo: I should probably be heading off soon myself but you know I can't help myself with this kind of stuff

Grian: you can't ignore the call of a Java Circuit brother

Mumbo: ha ha

Mumbo: that's not what I meant but I know you know that and I know you're making fun of me so i won’t bite

Grian: ;)

Grian: just get some sleep, yeah?

Grian: I'm gonna need you to make sure I don't make a fool of myself tomorrow

Grian: not that I will, obviously, but just in case

Mumbo: I'll make sure you don't make an absolute spoon of yourself mate, don't worry

Grian: cool thanks

Grian: alright I'm gonna crash

Grian: I'll see you tomorrow

Grian: don't stay up too late

Mumbo: sure thing

Mumbo: Night Gri

Grian: Night Mumbo

---

Grian and Mumbo 13 Nov 23 2:44pm

Mumbo: I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU NOT TO DRINK IT

Mumbo: AND WHAT DO YOU DO

Mumbo: YOU DRINK IT

Grian: YOU KNOW I HAVE NO IMPULSE CONTROL

Mumbo: I TURNED AWAY FOR ONE MINUTE

Grian: WHICH IS PLENTY OF TIME FOR ME TO DO THE THING I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO DO

Mumbo: GO TAKE A TIME OUT

Grian: I CAN’T I CAN FEEL MY HEARTBEAT IN MY EYES ---

Joe™ and Wels 13 Nov 23 2:45pm

Joe™: are they… texting each other across the room?

Wels: I try my best to keep my head down and not to get involved

Joe™: that's sensible

Wels: yeah i think so

[tiny-sketchbook-daily]

the hermit coffee co

day 9, march 24 2024

[rosenbergamot]

hermitcraft grad residence au my beloved.

[spinnertop]

Does anyone know the name of that one hermitcraft chatfic where all the hermits were found sleeping in weird placed. I think Tango fell asleep next to a ravager and Xisuma and Evil Xisuma were cuddling? Pretty sure it's a season seven fic if that helps

[rutellingmeashrimpfriedthisrice]

Ooh, a chatfic!! For the lovely @sloth-sloth-sloth as a treat from @mcyt-drabble-exchange

[crispycheeto364]

I posted a couple new chapters on my chatfic

[mcytrecursive]

Nomination Overview - Crack Fic

Oh boy do we have some bangers in this category. Not as many fics here, but every one a gem. I'll give you a hint: we've got mangoball.

Title: And why are you British now?  Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/48950557/chapters/123691441#workskin Fandom: Hermitcraft SMP Author: ace_of_arthropods Relationships: Grian & goodtimeswithscar, Jimmy solidarity & zedaph, rendog & bigb, Joehills & Martyn  Characters: Jimmy solidarity, Joe hills, grian, goodtimeswithscar, zedaph, Martyn inthelittlewood Length of the work: 11,506 words (incomplete fic) Genre: Crack Fic, Fluff Type: Fic Summary: “Wait a second...” Grian suddenly had an idea of what might have happened. He hastily dug through his horribly unorganized inventory for something with a mirrored surface. He eventually found a hand mirror with golden decorations, which he'd never seen before, and looked into it. A scarred face with dark green eyes looked back at him. “Oh no,” Grian said, in Scar's voice. (After double life, everyone returns to their home servers... or rather, their soulmate's home server, in their soulmate's body. Shenanigans ensue.)

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Title: Sapnap's Naga Harem Rating: E-rated Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/49846090 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: ollie_oxen_free Relationships: Sapnap/Philza, Sapnap/Technoblade, Punz/Sapnap, Quackity/Sapnap, Dream/Sapnap, Karl Jacobs/Sapnap, Awesamdude/Sapnap, Sapnap/Foolish, Sapnap/Schlatt, Sapnap/Wilbur Soot Characters: Sapnap, Dream XD, Dream, Philza, Technoblade, Quackity, Punz Length of the work: 27,870 words (incomplete fic) Genre: AU, Crack Fic, Fluff, Fantasy AU, Humour, Romance, Smut Type: Fic Summary: Fresh out of school with a Masters in Magical Zoology, Sapnap is hired by a mysterious billionaire he knows only as XD to become one of the main caretakers of a new section of his magical menagerie. He's not sure what he's expecting, but ten fucking naga— rare, dangerous, mysterious— were not on the fucking list.

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Title: A Jackerella Story Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38446057/chapters/96084898 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: wetchickenbreast Relationships: Georgenotfound/Jack Manifold Characters: Jack Manifold, GeorgeNotFound, TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot, BadBoyHalo, Tubbo, Ranboo Length of the work: 6,328 words (incomplete fic) Genre: AU, Crack Fic, Drama, Fantasy AU, Humour Type: Fic Summary: Jackerella's life fucking sucks. Her goddamn parents died (how inconsiderate) and now she is stuck living as an indentured servant for her evil stepfamily. Her younger stepsister bites people (he won't stop no matter how many doctors they bring him to) and his older stepsister is a megabitch (also a homewrecker). His only friends are talking rats, so Jack is pretty much waiting on a miracle to get out of this mess... and that miracle comes in the form of a charming prince, some glass shoes, and a demon from hell (and the demon has MASSIVE tits).

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Title: pov: me when i fucking Get You Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45823945 Fandom: Dream SMP Author: doingthewritethings Relationships: Quackity/Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Quackity & Slimecicle Characters: Quackity, Wilbur Soot, Technoblade, Slimecicle, Eret Length of the work: 3,450 words Genre: AU, Crack Fic, Family, Friendship, High School AU, Humour, Modern AU, Chatfic Type: Fic Summary: From: qln@dsmp.org To: csc@dsmp.org what would you do if hypothetically speaking. there was this guy. and he was horrible and awful and his hair was so fluffy like sooo fluffy like imagine putting a mop on his head. like a big old mop. or a dog. but instead of being a wet dog he smelled like cinnamon and was probably really good to pet. ohhhh my god. or, the one where Wilbur thinks they're dating, Quackity thinks they're enemies, and Eret thinks she would really, really, really like to get things done in her student council meetings.

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Title: Cheater, Cheater (Mangoball) Link: https://glittering.world/mangoball/classic Fandom: Video Blogging RPF Author: mangobaii Relationships: Dream/George, Corpse Husband/Wilbur Characters: Dream, George, Corpse Husband, Sapnap, Quackity, Karl, Wilbur, BadBoyHalo Length of the work: 20k-ish? Depends on how you count usernames and such Genre: Crack Fic, Humour, Epistolary, Mangoball Type: Fic Summary: DNF social media epistolary fiction. George gets cheated on by Sapnap with Dream; love blooms, among other things.

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See something you want to offer or request in the exchange? Horrified that a classic of the genre isn't represented yet (to be fair, maybe we didn't get permission). Join our discord and sign up today!

[transacewithapan]

A bit of... planning :)

I have a lot of drafts, and I have no idea which one to work on after I'm finished with this Eddsworld series...

I'll just list them out :)

SHARDS (Eddsworld fic) -Includes Polyam ship (ExTxMxT) -Multiverse Fic

Safe (HermitCraft fic) -Includes ships (Mumscarian, HEX, BDoc, Scar x Cub don't know the ship name, Beetho) -YHS/Evo/Watcher Fic (so... Grian-centric)

H.P.A (Danganronpa fic) -Non-despair AU -Chatfic (dialogue-heavy, with an actual plot) -Includes ships... a lot of them.

MyChat Academia (MHA/BNHA) -Do I even have to explain what this one's about? -Also a chatfic... (dialogue-heavy, with an actual plot) -There may be ships, Idk (all I have is EraserMic listed atm)

Vampire Hunter (original) -I haven't planned this one a whole lot since it's... original. -All I have is the cover of it...

Of course, as I'll be working on these fics, I'll still be working on the other stories I published already...

I made 2 of the covers already...

they're very... basic 😔

Anyway- the next chapter of TLiM will hopefully be published in a few days. Stay tuned :)

[bunnyloverqueen]

Ok for the fanfic ask thing, here we go. I'm gonna say you can answer these for either Calling for Assistance or your chatfic, because I can't decide.

Any combination of questions 4, 5, 11, & 13 would be awesome

(love your work by the way, it's amazing even though you don't think so)

Calling for Assistance favourite dialogue - "you have to be kidding me! You... HC stood for Hermitcraft?!"

Chatfic favourite dialogue - fWip: However, from the picture I can tell that you burnt the frying pan but the chicken was still raw. (Yet to be posted so a sneak peek)

Calling for Assistance hardest part to write- I don't think I actually struggled with writing CfA, it just flowed naturally for me from the moment I came up with the prompt.

Chatfic hardest part to write- the ending as I had it written and was decently happy with it and then Google docs decided to delete 700 of my words so I had to rewrite it.

Calling for Assistance liked best - shocking enough this is one of the fics that I actually like, though what I like best is probably Grian and Xisuma's reunion when they figure out that the other is HC and Evo.

Chatfic liked best - definitely the four of them just messing around and causing chaos specifically during the crossover (yet to be posted but soon)

Calling for Assistance and chatfic music I listened to was just whatever I happened to put on lol

[lavendertownsghost]

ok I'm torn between three Hermitcraft/Life Series AUs I want to write.

The first is a crossover with The Underland Chronicles, where the Evo 5 (Grian, BigB, Pearl, Martyn, and Jimmy) end up in the Underland and fulfill the (rewritten) prophecies collectively instead of Gregor. Scott replaces Luxa, though he shares a bit of that role with Scar. Jellie is Scar's Flier bond and also the princess of the Fliers (I don't know yet who Scott's bond is). Doc is bonded with Bdubs, who I'm ironically making one of the largest Fliers. Ren is basically Doc's adopted brother despite being a Flier. Doc and Ren were from a smaller community separate from Regalia that was destroyed by the Gnawers and the two of them were the only survivors. Ren is eventually going to bond with Martyn. Etho is a Gnawer and fills Ripred's role. Gem is a Nibbler who can and will kick your ass. I don't know who fills Solvet's role since she is very much not a nice character.

(will definitely have Grian/Scar and Scott/Jimmy, possibly Scott/Jimmy/Tango and Martyn/Ren)

the second is a crossover with Fablehaven, where the Evo 5 (again) replace Seth and Kendra. Pearl, Jimmy, and Grian are siblings and BigB and Martyn are their cousins (Martyn and BigB aren't siblings). They're all close enough to be siblings though. Etho and Bdubs replace the Sorensons (as the group's uncles instead of grandparents). Etho probably gets turned into the chicken. Ren (werewolf) and Doc (centaur) live in the reserve and Ren is ecstatic that there are other kids his age in Fablehaven. Part of me wants the kids to not open the window and have another way to kick off the main plot. Scar and Scott are going to be a unicorn and dragon, but I don't know which is which yet.

(obviously will have Etho/Bdubs, definitely Grian/Scar, Scott/Jimmy, and Martyn/Ren)

the third isn't a crossover, but instead a modern-with-magic college AU that starts off as a chatfic but will expand to have Plot. Ren is a werewolf and his (not wolf) pack is Doc and Bdubs, Martyn and Cleo (cousins), and BigB and Pearl (possibly adoptive siblings). A large potion of their friend group at collage are also secretly non-human as well.

(definitely will have Grian/Scar, Martyn/Ren, Cleo/Pearl, Scott/Jimmy/Tango, and Joel/Lizzy. Possibly Bdubs/Etho)

I have no idea if I'll actually write any of these or if they're just going to go into my endless folder of unwritten fic ideas.

[soemthingsparkly]

Blog Intro, Ko-fi Link, and Tags <3

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Hey guys! I'm Jaz or Luminous (depending on where you find me).

I'm a 26 year old, self-employed writer who writes fanfic and dabbles in fanart inbetween projects.

Being self-employed means I set my own hours, but if you'd like to help me dedicate more time to my fanwork and community creations, you can drop me a tip over here at my new

Ko-fi page!

My Ao3 username is LuminousMe and you can find me here!

If you any of my creations bring you joy and you have any spare change, please consider grabbing me a coffee!

Tags below the cut:

｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦ Personal Tags ◦ ☾◦∘ : ｡ﾟ

#jaz draws - my drawings! These are primarily fanworks, but the odd personal drawing might slip in there!

#jaz writes - my writings, including links to Ao3 chapter links and the like

#jaz answers - answers to asks

#draw requests - I take drawing requests and this is where I keep them!

⋆✩. Fandom Tags: .✩⋆

#The Hermit Coffee Co. - This tag will take you to everything related to my current Hermitcraft Coffeeshop AU. This fic takes the form of a chatfic with snippets of prose and follows the interactions of the Hermits as they navigate the chaos of working in hospitality, while dealing with love, life, and lattes.

(More Tags added over time)

Thanks for taking the time to check out my pinned! I hope you have a great stay and a lovely rest of your day :)

[vapemaster42069]

🤡 ⛔ 🦅

:D hello!!

🤡: i have a little unposted thing imma stick under a readmore below because i was hysterically giggling the entire thing i wrote it and idk if i'll ever post it lols. here: !!

⛔: oh my gosh, so many. i'm notorious for starting fics and never completing them because of one reason or another; usually i lose inspiration or get a new idea to hop on. most recently, i was planning a 20+ chapter fic that i had about a half planned and a third written that follows a scarian life series+hermitcraft timeline. mainly, i wanted to write the angst bc that's waht i enjoy lols. (ok so. respongin to this actually inspired me to finish a scene so i might end up posting at least one part somewhere lmao, can always rely on you for inspo :] ). uhh, another one was just a party during the hc/empires crossover, one was a jrwi riptide hamlet au, there was a thanatos backstory thing that was Very similiar to Kaladin from TWoK if you're into that, there was a southlands coffeeshop/pottery class thing, much ado twelfth night au because i thought the convolution was funny, and a lot of chatfic-style crack stuff that i live for but will Never see the light of day

🦅: depends on the fic! i have a doc where i scribble down ideas, quotes, or good sentences, so sometimes i'll go off that and ball with whatever strikes inspiration, but i do have a tendency to do specific au's where i know where it's going! (rip jrwi twelfth night au draft you will be missed. ao3 draft deletion hates me fr). kinda off-topic but i feel like i frequently have a starting point and an ending point, especially for longer works, and i have a really hard time filling in the in-between scenes! probably, i should outline more than i do lmao.

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"Joel, have you gotten shorter?"

"I- What? No!"

"No, I swear you look shorter." Grian paused and backed up, looking him up and down quizzically. He rubbed his chin to hide the quirk of a smug smile. "Scar, come look at Joel. Does he look any shorter to you?"

Scar, who had been slowly picking the leaves off of a plant, wheeled around. "Hey, yeah, he does, now that you mention it!"

"Scar!"

"Weren't you like 11 foot last time I saw you? You only look like 10'8 now," He leaned back in his chair, lifting a hand as well to scratch at his beard.

"Must have taken out the lifts in his shoes," Grian nodded sagely.

"Grian!"

"Little Timmy's rubbing off on you now, Joel--"

"I do not have lifts in my shoes!"

"--Every time you visit him, you get smaller."

"I do not-- I am not-- wait! I'm 11 foot, still!" 

"It's okay, Joel," Grian couldn't hide the amused lilt in his voice, "Us short kings have to stick together."

"Us-- HUH? I am not a short king!"

"What's this about short kings?" Sausage, ever with good timing, strolled around the corner and casually leaned on a fencepost next to Grian, propping an elbow on his shoulder. He leaned over and promptly toppled over with a yelp when the unsupported pole moved, before Grian hopped out of the way, grabbing him before he could smack his head on the ground. "I love sho-- waAAAH-- thank you, Grian--I love short kings. I am a short king! What do you have against short kings, Thunder Cheeks?"

"Hold on--"

"Nothing, Sausage! I'm just not one!"

"--Thunder Cheeks?" Grian squeaked.

"Oh, yeah, Joel's Thunder Cheeks, or Thunder Daddy! When his cheeks clap, thunder happens!"

"... I don't know how to respond to that,"

"Which cheeks?"

"Scar!"

"Whichever ones you want to,"

"Joel."

"That an offer?"

"Scar."

"Only if you want it to be,"

"Joel, I swear to god,"

Sausage giggled, his eyes alight. He had, evidently, already had his third cup of coffee today, based on his buzzy hands as he spoke. "You know what we gotta do, the four of us, is go to my tavern sometime! It could be like a double date, I'll show you a dance!"

"Like a-- no, Sausage, we aren't-- I mean, I haven't--" Grian could feel his face burning, "Scar, back me up here,"

"I'd love to go on a double date with you, Sausage! Would Joel and Grian be together, then?"

"Uhh. I mean, sure! Totally..." Sausage sideyed Grian, who looked away, desperately fanning his face to try to ease his blushing. It wasn't working very well, "So, you and I, and Grian and Joel! it's a date!"

"A double date! Oh my gosh, Grian, I'm so excited, we gotta get you out of that red sweater and into something snazzy?"

"I-- Scar, I look so snazzy in this sweater!"

"I mean," Scar wiggled his fingers at Grian, his eyes lighting up, "You're adorable with it on--" Grian squeaked. "--but not formal, like for a date! Come on, let's get dressed up all fancy!"

Sausage clapped his hands, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Ooh, Scar, I might have this beautiful vest that might fit you, if you need one? The color would really pop on you."

"Oh, maybe! I could show you the shirt I had in mind, if you'd like!"

"I'd love to! Oh my goodness I'm so excited, maybe we could match shirts..." Sausage trailed off as he dragged Scar away by the hand, grinning, going a nerve-wracking speed down one of the hills surrounding Sanctuary, towards the nether portal.

"In about 5 seconds we're going to hear a crash, aren't we,"

"Most likely." Joel turned to Grian, a smug look on his face. "Anyways, Grian."

"Don't you dare."

Joel grinned, crouching down to his height. Grian scowled. It was a bit funny, as Joel was approximately 6 feet taller than Grian was, so he was fully doubled over in a squat to meet his eyes. "Got your eyes on someone, pretty bird?"

Grian covered his face, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. "Joel, I swear to god--"

"I won't tell him!” Grian looked up at him.

“Promise?”

“Promise. But I can’t guarantee I won't never blackmail you for it,”

Grian sighed. “I guess that’s all I can hope for,”

“Are you– is it that uncomfortable to go on a double-date with him there? Because, I mean, I could invite some other Empires members too if you think it’d help. Make it more like a server party than a date?”

“That–” Grian paused, looking extremely relieved, “I don’t want to ruin it for you and Sausage, but that would be a lifesaver, I think.”

“Then it’s done! We can probably drag Timmy in, and if he comes, Tango and Scott will come, which will get Oli, and Sausage can get Keralis, which means Jev will come, and I can probably get Lizzy, who will get Doc and Impulse, and– Well, we can figure out the specifics later, I’ll text Sausage.”

Grian sighed. "Well, what are you wearing?"

"Uhh. This?"

"You're wearing that to our date? Wow, Joel. I see how it is," Grian mock-pouted.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Joel startled, playfully indignant.

"It's not bad, you just wear it every day!" Grian winked, "Let's get snazzy."

[b00stlebugz]

fic ideass hmmmm

#1 pokemon hermitcraft au bc tcg hehe

#2 pokemon hermitcraft au but about the playing cards, set in pokemon universe

#3 tcg hermitcraft fic yummyyy

#4 chatfic/hs au life series w each one being a different school year

#5 i just rlly love tcg man,,,

~~~~

bonus ideas

been rlly into MLP lately.... perhaps i could write or draw my favorite block people as ponies?

also been making an MH au w some of my ocs. dunno what the traffic + hermit crew would be as monsters tho lol

[harley-the-pancake]

Has Christmas passed? Yes.

Will I still write Christmas fics? Also yes.

So enjoy Wels' message to his wife for Christmas

[xpoolboy]

Is it a bad time to say I'm the one who wrote that hermit purpled chatfic LMAO ty for recommending em :]

WHAT oh my god i've only read a few chapters but it's so good! your cpurpled <3333 you are doing a great service to the hermitcraft viewers and purpled stans community

[gillipop-curated]

the hermit coffee co. is probably 3/4 of the reason i read fanfic all. it's a coffeeshop au, a combo of chatfic and prose (mostly chatfic, especially at the start). has lots of shipping but does a good job of not invalidating the characters preexisting friendships as they fall in love. it's unfinished but still being updated. has characters from the life series, hermitcraft and empires i believe.

oh also cw for cults and trauma and mental health stuff, lumi does give cws at the start of each chapter if applicable though!

you know what I haven’t seen going around in a while, and could use some of myself? fic recs! so, consider this both a rec and a self-promo post: recommend some fics to me in the reblogs and I’ll reblog your recs! in general, try to include both a summary and why you’re reccing it (whether it’s a self-promo or someone else’s), and let’s get some eyes on fics!