#hermit!fundy au

[votederpycausemufins]

I'm finally back with another chapter of the hermit tommy fic, Surprisingly Familiar, after months of writers block caused by depression (among other things). A full explanation is found in the notes of the Ao3 version. A link to that is featured in the masterpost of the fic which itself is linked on the masterpost of my writing that's pinned to my blog (a lil complicated, but it keeps things organized)

I am also willing to talk to people on discord if people want. The main server I'm a part of is the Daily Grumbot server. I won't give a link since tumblr doesn't like posts with external links, so just go look for the post at dailygrumbot.tumblr.com!

With that, reminder that the hermit tommy au was created by @petrichormeraki and also anything suspiciously specific said by hels!techno might have some meaning to it, and enjoy the story!

Techno was put in charge of helping carry Doc around. Out of the group, he was the needed balance of being able to lift someone or something that heavy as well as having good mobility. Also Doc didn’t seem to want to be helped if his amount of hissing was anything to go by. 

While his missing cybernetics didn’t remove a leg or anything, his missing arm was heavier than his remaining one, so it was more of a difference compared to when he lost his original one. That paired with also losing his eye at the same time made him both unbalanced and without depth perception. They originally tried to let him walk on his own, but Doc instead quickly managed to start falling to the side before crashing into a wall after dealing with the uneven, vine-covered ground. So he was carried.

Without needing to focus on trying to keep upright, Doc instead was left to start mumbling to himself. It was a mix of various languages he knew, but for the most part in ones the others didn’t understand. And even with what they could understand every once and a while, it still wasn’t enough to know what exactly it was about. But at the very least, it seemed to be that he had some theory on what was causing this. Probably.

But they couldn’t really slow down to try and get an answer out of Doc. With what they had found earlier in the treehouse base and the strange animalistic noises they heard when finding Doc, the remaining members of the group knew they needed to keep moving.

“You know, if we can’t get answers from Doc, we might have to circle back.” Techno spoke up.

“We’ll have to circle back sooner or later. It’s not like we have a lot of space.” Mumbo replied, gesturing above them. They were still in the large dome of vines, which seemed to keep them mostly safe from the vines themselves, but whatever monster was around was a different story.

“Yeah, I get that.” Techno huffed. “The thing is, while I can carry Doc around better than most of you. I still can’t do it forever. So it might be nice if we head back or someone else tries carrying him.”

Since Mumbo had been the one to reply to Techno, everyone else used that as a bit of an opportunity to move a little bit faster and let it seem like Mumbo moved closer to offer. Once he realized, the redstoner sputtered a bit before relenting and taking Doc from Techno. The hand off didn’t go quiet so well, Mumbo nearly collapsing when he was given the brunt of Doc’s weight, but he recovered quickly and managed to carry him rather well.

“I guess carrying robots all day builds muscles, eh mate?” Phil asked, hoping to lighten the mood a bit.

“I suppose that’s part of it. But moving blocks around for building and redstone helps some too I would think.” Mumbo suggested, though it only got a shrug.

“I thought building wasn’t really your thing. I thought others did that.”

“We all do a little bit of everything.” Xisuma spoke up, though his voice was a little muffled from the vines over his helmet. “Mumbo tends to work more on the redstone side of things, but he’s not stuck there. And he does better at building than Grian at redstone.”

Phil laughed a bit at that before conceding. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense. Plus redstone’s not all that practically useful if it’s not built somewhere, huh? Can’t really be a door if there’s no building for it.”

“I mean I can still share the designs.” Mumbo huffed a little, his mustache turning into a frown, which simply drew more laughter from Phil, up until Paul, who had been quiet that whole time, shushed them all.

Everyone stopped, not saying a word, even trying to breathe as little as possible. They stood still other than adjusting their feet to best stay in a still position as well as ready to run or fight if necessary. Sounds that were distinctly not from the group came from the foliage around them, the question was if some creature was making them, or if it was simply some sort of breeze through the leaves.

Just as it looked like they were safe enough to keep moving, Doc hissed loudly, and then the creature Xisuma had seen before pounced from some bushes and other nearby greenery. Phil was the first to react, not as burdened by vines as the others. He slashed at the creature with a sword before it tried swiping its claws at him, barely being blocked by the sword in time.

Techno jumped in to help, attacking the creature from behind, hitting it with his axe, which ended up being rather ineffective. In the bit of stunned surprise that caused Techno, the creature swiped at him with enough force to knock him away and onto the ground. 

Since he had only just handed Doc off, Tech was already feeling a little exhausted. That and the fact that the creature seemed to be affected by combat differently made everyone worry. One of their remaining fighters was practically out for the count and they still didn’t know what would happen if any of them died. 

Before the creature could attack once more, Paul ran in, not with a sword or anything, but just slamming into the thing with his body. The group was still close to the edge of the dome of vines, close enough that with that attack, the creature broke through the wall of vegetation. Though it also seemed to be a sort of foe to Doc, the vines didn’t seem to care and also started wrapping and restraining the creature, it trying to escape its growing prison.

While the group was thankful that the jungle was taking that thing away, they were not so pleased that in getting the creature that far, Paul had to do the same. The vines also attempted to pull him away, likely to trap him with all the others that had been taken.

Xisuma was the first to try and drag him back, Techno and Phil still recovering while Mumbo dealt with Doc. Still, with Xisuma already being so covered that his breathing was hindered, the most he caused was that now the both of them were being dragged in.

Just as Phil rushed to help, there was a yelp from Mumbo as Doc had escaped his grip and rushed as best he could to Xisuma and Paul, hissing loudly. Everyone braced themselves on instinct, ready for an explosion, but it thankfully never came. The vines receded and let the pair go, allowing them to leave the edge of the dome and drag Doc with them.

“Holy fuck, what here you thinking?!” Phil shouted at Doc. “Were you trying to get some of us killed?!”

Doc just sat on the ground quietly, Mumbo and Xisuma both worried for their friend, but unnerved with how vulnerable he seemed. Doc wasn’t even mumbling or hissing any answer, just being completely quiet. 

“Fine, I guess we’ll just rest here. Hopefully whatever you did didn’t also give that thing a chance to possibly escape and attack us again.”

“Phil, calm down.” Techno tried to speak up. “Whatever he did worked. We don’t need to dwell on a what if right now.”

“I can’t calm down right now. We have been stuck in this whole thing for who knows how long and we’re going to be here for who the hell knows much longer. And while I would love to leave, I also don’t want it turning into a giant waste of time because someone almost screwed it up for all of us!”

“Can’t die here.” Came a mumble and everyone looked towards Doc. “They won’t…” Doc continued before it devolved into hisses.

“Doc, we can’t understand that last bit.” Xisuma spoke up, making Doc quiet again. “While he shouldn’t be yelling, Phil does have the slight point about how we should try and find a way out of this quickly. What you know would help a good deal.”

After a moment, Doc looked at his right arm, at least what little was left of it, as well as moved the stump. While the message that there was something related to his missing arm involved, Paul was the one to provide more context. “What’s Dinnerbone got to do with this?”

“Wait, you’re saying he really lost his arm to Dinnerbone?” Techno piped up. “Bruh, that’s kind of cool to hear.”

“If I recall correctly from what Doc has said, the two fought and Doc won, and as a sort of revenge, Dinnerbone just removed his arm.”

“Sounds like a sore loser.” Phil joked, having calmed down a little bit with the discussion helping to find a solution as opposed to running around more. “Is this all supposed to be more revenge?”

Doc shook his head, speaking again, but in a language none of them understood all that well. Still, the little information already given was a clue. They just needed to figure out what it meant.

“So,” Techno spoke up first. “Is this being caused by at least one of the gods?” It was that or it was supposed to be revenge by something else, which could have been the case, but was unlikely. And with Doc nodding, then of course it was the first idea.

“Is it still revenge?” Mumbo asked next. “You said it wasn’t more revenge, but maybe… another one got upset?”

“You think multiple gods could be upset at him?” Phil asked incredulously.

“I interacted with Notch, Dinnerbone was on the Mindcrack server a few times, Herobrine is a hermit as well as one of the Deaths.” Paul paused before adding on one more piece of evidence. “And also there’s Etho.”

Mumbo also jumped in before Phil could say more, looking like he might try to refute it. “Doc also has a knack for breaking the laws of the universe simply because he can. While most of it is taken well… I wouldn’t be surprised if something wasn’t.”

“Okay, fine, divine punishment. What for?” Phil conceded, looking at Doc, but was really fine with anyone answering. What he didn’t expect was Doc to nod and manage an answer, simply repeating “punish”. “Well… that’s just great.”

“So… punishment for something. The question is what for.” Mumbo spoke up, rubbing his chin before then asking. “It’s not due to another fight you had, right? Because then that would be the revenge we already said it couldn’t be. So, is it for any of your… disruptive redstone?”

Doc shook his head, doing the same when he was asked if it had any connection to the hivemind Doc had mentioned here and there. From there, there was a bit of sidetracked conversation with Techno comparing Doc’s hivemind to his chat and Phil’s crows. But eventually, they got back on topic.

“So, if it’s not any of those other things, what exactly could they punish you for?” Xisuma asked, and then everyone was quiet to let Doc respond, but he didn't. “Doc, whatever it is, we can’t help unless you tell us. It may be bad, but if we want to-“ 

Xisuma was stopped as Doc finally spoke up. “Knowledge.”

“What?”

“Know… shouldn’t.” Doc tried explaining, but only half the words could be understood. “…punish too…”

“That’s not great.” Phil huffed. “It’s something you’re in trouble for knowing, forbidden knowledge or some shit, so we can’t help out since we can’t know what it’s about?”

Doc agreed with Phil’s explanation, which had Mumbo place a reassuring hand on Doc’s shoulder. “Doc, I’m sorry that we can’t help you with that part… but if The Jungle was your punishment for… whatever it was, it already happened.”

“He’s right.” Paul spoke up, looking back towards Doc from where he stood leading the group along. “It seems this is about you worrying about the secret slipping and everyone else getting punished, but here we are, surrounded by that happening, probably to a greater extent than it would actually be, and you’re still tight lipped. I think that means you wouldn’t let it slip.”

Doc nodded in agreement, but the group could tell he didn’t fully agree. “Want to… though…” Doc spoke, careful with his words this time to make sure they could all be understood.

“Sorry, that’s not something we can really help you with.” Techno spoke up, the tone of his voice more lighthearted to try and lighten the mood at least a little. “Phil’s already a dinosaur, so Paul must be just as old, plus he knows some of the gods for better or worse.”

“I belong in a museum.” Paul responded, with a tone of voice that implied some sort of inside joke, especially with Phill laughing and even Doc managing a weak laugh.

“Whatever. What I’m saying is he might somehow know what you’re having trouble with. And if not him, then someone else. It can’t be everyone is off limits, right?”

“If not me, someone else from your server?” Paul suggested. “If it’s godly punishment, then for someone safe you might want to talk with I-”

He was cut off by a hiss from Doc, loud enough that no one could tell what Paul said, at least until he apologized and spoke again. “Sorry, I’m uh,,, bad at remembering chosen names it seems. Joe I believe then.”

With that mention, Doc nodded, and everyone took that as the answer to what had been said, not realizing that it was less of a mistake and more of an excuse.

“Even if you can’t talk with any of them, it doesn’t mean you can’t talk to anyone at all.” Xisuma then said, hoping to give a suggestion. “Even though you can’t talk about it directly, you can still voice your worries. Being direct could get you hurt, which is a reasonable fear, but hopefully being indirect won’t get you in trouble. And now that we know the… safe information, you could come to me or Mumbo, or any of the other hermits. Though they would need a summary of what we’ve learned. Not to say we learned what you’re being punished for!” Xisuma quickly corrected at the mention of learning making Doc hiss.

“I think what they’re all trying to say.” Phil spoke up. “Is that there’s ways to get around the whole di-vine punishment and still talk about your feelings so it doesn’t screw you up on the inside. Because keeping it all close to the chest could hurt you.”

That seemed to be what finally got to Doc, because as he nodded, the vines started to disappear, followed by just about everything else around them, before being replaced by the next false reality they would have to go through.

.

.

.

Everyone was still silent from Grian’s question. No one was sure exactly what to say, though for wildly different reasons. One thing that was certain was that Death, any of them, having an interest in you, likely wasn’t a good thing. 

Sahn, who had been the only one making noise with some humming, finally clued in and spoke up first. “Oh wait? Was that question for me? Sorry, I didn’t realize. …Um, what was it again? I already forgot.” 

“I uh…” Grian nervously started, unsure now with the shift of tone in the room. “I don’t exactly know who this ‘Warrior’ is. I’ve heard about him a few times, but not enough details. And so I want to know who he is and what exactly is going on.”

“Oh, that first part is easy!” Sahn smiled, cheering up quickly. “He’s officially known as The Warrior of Death! He’s got another name too but I’m not allowed to use it. He’s one of… two? Or wait was it four… I think it was four deaths. But I help him out! And have been since I died.” Despite Grian not liking Sam and not knowing too much about Sahn, he still winced at the mention that Sahn was indeed, and had indeed, died. “I forget exactly why. I think there was something weird. Maybe something about… tents? No… hurts… no it was… somewhere in the middle. Anyway! He wanted me to find you for some reason! I don’t know why because you have Sally, and what should have been enough.”

Grian tensed at the mention of his recently acquired pet chicken, now questioning if there was more to the animal. “And how would she have been ‘enough’?”

“Well my boss really likes chickens. Oh, and other similarly related animals! He can know what just about any of them see. Wait is it any, or all? Maybe both? I don’t remember.”

‘This is probably just because of your current time stuff.’ Astrid signed. She had no clue if that was the case or not, but it was better to come up with an excuse just in case.

“Yeah, she’s probably right.” Flora agreed. “Maybe he’s just wondering why a new death kid just appeared.”

Sahn looked like he wanted to disagree with that, but was stopped as Silski walked through him and picked Grian up. “This isn’t going anywhere. You’re coming with me to an… emergency meeting.”

Grian just kicked at Silski. “First put me the hell down, second, what are you even talking about?”

After a moment, Grian was put back down, though with a huff from Silski. “I’m in a team with a few people. We call ourselves the council. One of the people included is your mom. Other than the actual Deaths, she’ll probably know the most about this. Unlike this ghost.” And Silski attempted to gesture to Sahn, but had no clue where the ghost was and did so in the wrong direction.

“Wait what d'ya mean his mum? I thought he was like, Grifter’s cousin? Though I also think I heard Eepr say he was a clone.” Toob was the one speaking up.

“Uh, well I was supposed to pretend to be some sort of relative, but Flora figured out quickly and so I just didn’t bother?” Grian admitted sheepishly, Flora butting in a moment later.

“Yeah I didn’t know about faking it. But enough has already happened in this world, so one more thing isn’t all that surprising.”

“Well I don’t care.” Silski grumbled. “Are you coming with me or not?”

“Sure…” Grian replied hesitantly. He wanted some sort of explanation. There was already enough going on and enough unanswered questions that he wanted some of them to be answered. That being said, the possibility of seeing his mum felt off. Some of it probably came from the fact that this wouldn’t be his actual mother. But it also might be the simple fact that… he didn’t remember her at all. Grian still had a few memories he was clinging onto of his brothers and dad, but his mum was a different story. She was barely ever around due to her ‘job’. That, mixed with Grian having been so young and it having been so long, he honestly didn’t remember what she looked like, how she sounded, what she was like at all. He would know this warped copy of her better than his own mother.

As Silski started to leave, Grian followed, Astrid managing to tell him that she and Flora would keep in contact with their comms. It reassured Grian a bit, which helped, though when he turned back, Silski had gotten pretty far already. 

Grumbling a bit, Grian flew to catch up with the sculk hybrid, nearly face planting into the ground when he landed. “The offer to get carried still stands.” Silski piped up. “Last time I am though, because honestly I’d like to stay away from you and your smell.”

Grian accepted, though instead of being actually carried, he instead perched himself on Silski’s shoulders, which apparently stunk less to him. “Okay I know I tried cleaning myself up when we got back from getting the stuff on my wings checked out, I shouldn’t smell that bad.”

Silski was quiet for a moment, trying to think of what to say that also wouldn’t reveal the secret Astrid had told him. “For all we know, whatever time magic sent you here is ender based. Which is weird since that’s almost impossible to find in pretty much any world, but what else would explain it?”

Grian was pretty sure that by any world, Silski meant the worlds of this reality, not the one he and Grifter were from. Which could make sense if whatever was annoying Silski was unique to the other world he had recently come from and why here and there, the sculk hybrid had mentioned the smell not being as bad. Still, he mentioned that Sense apparently smelled, so what did that mean for him? Just another question to ponder, Grian supposed. In fact, he could even ask about that. “So wait, then what about Sense?”

“Ugh, him. I’m not exactly sure why he smells like death and rotting and whatnot, which makes you seem a whole lot better in comparison. But even ignoring that, I can’t say I’m a fan of him. In the short time he’s been here, Sense has been a prick to me. I didn’t think I did anything wrong, and he sure won’t explain if I ask. I have some guesses, but those might not even be right.”

“Some people can just be assholes.” Grian replied, but then thought about it more. In a world where Taurtis was gone, he had found Perfect Sense. They had been together and seemed madly in love with each other and even had kids. And here was someone saying how bad Sense actually was. Or probably was. He didn’t really know either of the two well enough to know who had more of a point. And, if he did end up the same way, like Grifter, would he potentially turn a blind eye for love? Not if it was really bad, right?

“I can hear your brain going at full steam.” Silski spoke and pulled Grian out of his thoughts, which he realized were probably being spurred on by his audience. “Oh good, that worked. I’ve been trying to talk to you for a while.”

And Grian found that they were already approaching the cottages where Flora had taken him to when she dragged him along while visiting her mum. He hadn’t realized he had zoned out that badly, but Silski also seemed to move pretty fast, so that also probably helped with how short it felt.

He shivered a bit, ready to go into the hopefully warm cabins, only for Silski to walk right past them. Grian complained, but was threatened to be thrown in the snow, so he reluctantly kept quiet. Finally, they reached a bit of a clearing, but nothing really seemed to be there. Which was even more frustrating since Silski stopped moving. Grian still waited a moment, but when nothing happened, he started to say that it all seemed to be a waste of time. Unfortunately, before he could continue, Silski yanked Grian off his shoulders and into his arms before essentially throwing Grian into the middle of the clearing. 

Grian yelped at being thrown, before quickly wrapping his wings around him to help brace for impact. He hoped the snow would also help, and it seemed it did because when Grian did land on the ground, it didn’t hurt at all. It was really cold, but didn’t hurt. But, when he went to sit up and yell at Silski, he found it hard as the snow seemed to have swallowed his wings. Enough snow to weigh them down and make them hard to lift. As he tugged to pull one of his wings free, his audience was suddenly pointing out that his wings weren’t the only things the snow was covering. 

The amount of times Grian had seen quicksand be mentioned in stories had made him assume it would be more common that it was in everyday life. Suddenly finding himself being swallowed up by quick snow made him try to think over what had happened in all those stories. Unfortunately , all he could come up with was people grabbing onto nearby vines. He wasn’t really in a vine filled forest. And there weren’t even any branches due to them being in a clearing.

Grian ultimately resolved himself to the fact he had been betrayed. He was probably going to die, though thankfully it wasn’t going to be permanently. Unless, of course, Silski had planned ahead. As the cold started to become so unbearable that it hurt, Grian figured he would just have to see when he died. And then he fell onto some wool.

Silski fell down from the ceiling a few seconds later, though he landed on his feet. “Come on, we still need to get to the meeting room.”

Grian didn’t move from the floor, just staring up at Silski. “I’m not dead, right?”

Silski huffed before yanking Grian to his feet. “No. It’s a secret entrance through the snow. There’s others around that are traps to trip people up, so don’t go telling people how to find this place.”

“I thought you guys just met out in the open?” Grian said, recalling when he had first seen the group.

“Yeah, that’s for the public club stuff.” And Silski led Grian down the halls of what seemed like some sort of old structure. “Sure, that’s fun and all, but really, we tend to focus on stuff like this.”

Silski gestured, before cursing and realizing that they were still on the wrong side of a door, which he then led them through, and showed the place off again, though with a little less grandeur. Still, despite that, the room definitely looked amazing to Grian. The room was still clearly the room of the old structure, but at the same time it had been updated in a way. Banners hung to the walls proudly and torches held in what looked like sconces adorned the walls. In the center of the room was a strange table. There was a large wooden disk on top to make it into a table, but the base seemed to be something else. 

Curiosity getting the best of him, Grian moved to the table and lifted the disk, staring at the dark magic in the center and the sort of scarlet colored hints accenting it, looking like stars covering the sky. Before he could admire anymore, a hand slammed down in the disk, nearly pinching Grian’s fingers. Grian looked up to see who had done that and found a girl glaring daggers at him. He assumed she would be frowning if it weren’t for the bubble gum she was blowing, which made him flinch when it popped. But he didn’t seem to be the only one startled by the noise as a hiss came from his left. 

Grian took a step back at seeing a creeper, not dealing with them all that much so far, but knowing what they could cause. However, after a moment when it didn’t explode, Grian realized that it was actually a hybrid rather than an actual creeper, and also they had a lot of cats with them.

“Oh come on!” Bubblegum girl glared at the creeper. “How are you still flinching at that?”

“Y-you did it t-too soon.” The creeper shuddered out, almost like they were still cold despite how warm the room was compared to the temperature outside, or should it be considered above? “I d-didn’t get a ch-chance to process it.”

“I duh duh duh- that’s what you sound like. You’re still just a little cry baby.” Grian, though the insults weren’t pointed at him, still winced at them since they were coming from an unfamiliar person that could potentially turn to him at any second.

“F-fuck you.” The words sounded more confident than the stutter would imply. “I got in here j-just like everyone else. And I d-didn’t get a f-free pass, like s-some people.” And then their gaze turned to Grian, also being a glare, which did not help Grian’s confidence with being there. And Silski had yet to say a word, so he didn’t expect the sculk hybrid to speak up and tell them to back off. But someone did.

“Leave him alone. Unlike everyone else, as you are comparing him to, it seems like he wasn’t here willingly.” And Grian looked to see another person enter the room, someone both familiar and not. Someone, though he had forgotten the face of, he could still remember that it was different. His mother, or this version of her at least.

“Speaking of.” Silski now spoke up. “I’ve got answers to your questions about that, as well as a bit more. But the simple answer is that Grian is apparently just Grifter from the past.”

“The simple answer?” The alternate version of his mother asked, and Grian wondered if she could tell he wasn’t the real Grifter. It was probably because of his wings. Grifter apparently made his look more like the real one’s, so maybe he could pretend the opposite?

“Well, he wanted me to pretend otherwise to try and keep things simple. Who knows what someone might want out of the possibility of time travel. So he helped with changing my appearance to really throw people off.”

“I see.” Was the answer before his not mum looked over at bubblegum girl. “Ekke, I believe you had wanted clarification on something?”

Elle popped another bubble before sitting up in her chair. “Yeah. We saw him before. I think he saw us too, but didn’t come running over even though you two said he went missing for a couple of years when he was like this, right?”

“W-we were really y-young then.” The creeper spoke up. “He pr-probab-bly wasn’t sure i-if it was us.”

“Okay fine, whatever.” She chewed loudly and leaned back in her seat, the chair teetering on its back legs. “If ya don’t remember their names, they’re Euro and Krys.”

“Ekke!”

“Whaaat? Just make it quick for the kid so Sil can actually start the meeting.”

Silski sighed before moving Grian to sit in Silski’s chair before the sculk hybrid propped his arms up on the backing. “The main reason we’re here is that someone outside of Grian’s immediate family seems to be taking an interest in things, which could lead to some extra insight on Grian appearing, but could also be cause for concern. Grian’s here to supplement any information I haven’t pieced together from the rumor mill as well as be a sort of… well, not lie detector exactly. But you know what I mean.”

“Uh, I don’t.” Grian spoke up, before being silenced as Silski reached a hand down before covering Grian’s face to shush him. That worked all of two seconds before Grian shoved the hand away and then sulked in the chair.

“S-so… your m-mention of n-non imme-“ Euro wasn’t able to finish his sentence before Silski started to answer. Grian thought it was a bit rude for a moment before noticing Euro didn’t seem upset by it, so maybe it was a normal thing.

“Yes I did mean it was still about someone in your extended family. It seems to be Death. The other one of course.”

Grian watched as Krys clapped a hand to her mouth before slowly lowering it at Silski’s added clarification. “Oh. That’s… strange. You’re sure it’s him?”

“Considering Grian’s got a chicken following him around plus someone saying they literally work for the guy, I’m fairly certain.”

“Lovely…” Krys sighed, rubbing her temples before pausing to pick a cat up off of the floor and hand it to Euro in a fashion that seemed like it was a common action. And it seemed helpful since Euro had not reacted well to the confirmation.

“Is he okay?” Grian asked the group in general, concerned about his… pseudo brother? He guessed that was probably the best way to describe Euro, though he obviously wouldn’t say it aloud.

“Right, you wouldn't know about it, would you?” Silski spoke up. “Did Fleur and Astrid at least tell you about how people get into this world?” Grian thought it over, thinking Flora may have made some small comment about it. But apparently needing to take that long to answer was an answer of its own. “Alright, who wants to explain?”

“I will.” Ekke raised a hand. “So before you were admin, we had this asshole named Nightmare. He said the place was open to just about anyone to join, but to make sure the place wasn’t completely flooded, there was a sort of test in the way. He got ahold of a way for people to have to deal with their ‘biggest fear’ or whatever. If you could get past it, it meant you were strong enough or some bs. Plus, if you showed up together with someone, then you had to go through theirs as well. And if you failed the test by succumbing to it or dying, you would fail. Depending on how, it could just be you booted, or could be everyone. Turns out part of the reason he was so insistent was because this place is screwed the hell up because of the guy interested in you, and trying to get out is only easier than getting in because of that test.”

Grian’s heart dropped at the last bit of information. Sure, most of it didn’t sound great, but he kind of wanted to leave to get back home eventually, and time travel wasn’t really the easiest thing in the first place. Plus, if the person interested in him had messed things up that badly… well, who knew what that meant for him. “Well… uh, what does that mean for Euro?”

“A few things really.” Krys was the one to speak up before showing off some scars on her neck that made Grian flinch. He had seen similar ones on Flora, but they were mostly covered with fur. Without that, they looked a lot worse. “As you know, your father is one side of death. Nightmare knew that and… didn’t want him involved. So he made sure to find ways to cut contact between him and us. Some of that included him involving your uncle once he did learn about what had happened to us.”

“Oh… so dad’s…?” Grian trailed off. It wasn’t his dad, not really, and he hated that he needed to keep reminding himself that. But again, he still wanted to see his family again, no matter what version of them it was.

“Wile sees him most often, your father makes it a bit easier to leave. Not by too much, but enough.”

Grian nodded before thinking of another question. “Uh, do you guys need to go through that whole test every time? Or did I guess, since it’s not around anymore from what Grifter told me.”

“Th-thankfully n-no.” Euro hissed out. “If I h-had to see th-those two every time, th-the potato t-torcher w-wouldn’t be en-nough.”

“Potato torcher?” Grian asked, eyebrows raising in a mixture of shock and concern. “Is that-?”

“A sentient potato really screwed Euro over.” Ekke spoke up. “One day it was ‘oh you are suck a close friend! Come to my wedding because we are such good friends’ to ‘why are you so upset I tried threatening a child with doxxing’ all the way to ‘here’s every time I and some others you thought were friends actually hate you for that we decided to tell you all at once instead of pointing it out in the moment for you to work on, why the hell didn’t you ever improve or change?’ ignoring the fact that they changed the context of some of those things. It, pardon the language, really fucked him over for ages. He tried joining this place not long later and I’m surprised he made it through alive. It was like a reverse beacon stealing nightmare. Not the person of course.”

“That… is a lot to unpack.” Grian spoke up, glancing at the creeper hybrid. “Are you sure he’s okay with you sharing all that?”

“Pretty much.” Ekke shrugged. “He’s terrified of sharing it directly, so doing it through other means works better. I’m totally free if you ever want to do the same. As long as it’s not also something that causes you disdain for potatoes and certain conifer trees because I don’t think I could handle two of that.”

“It’s uh… mainly rabbit based.” Grian admitted quickly, hoping it would resolve the topic. Which it seemed to with Ekke nodding before Silski coughed to bring attention back to him and then get them back on topic.

“Anyway, again, Warrior named death is involved again. I already mentioned he has someone around that’s working for him. That someone said they were here for Grian specifically, but also for someone going by the same of Spore.”

“Oh n-no…”

“I can’t be certain that it’s anything related to sculk though.” Silski paused to give Grian some clarification. “The Dark, aka what’s through the portal that is this table, is fungal like, and fungi have spores.” And Silski lifted the board on top of the table enough to show off the portal briefly to Grian. “The worker specifically mentioned that Spore was asked to interact with Perfect Sense and help with his redstone poisoning.”

“Which could be from redstone immunity which fits if it is sculk based.” Krys agreed. “Or might not if they’re interacting with his kind.”

“His kind?” Grian asked, wondering if it had something to do with Silski’s ‘ender’ mentions.

“There is a very long story about that.” Krys answered. “But a simple thing is that he’s not really from around here.”

“Ah.” Grian nodded, realizing that was probably more connected to him and Grifter not being from around there either.

“Okay next bit.” Ekke spoke up, getting a frustrated sigh out of Krys.

“We still need to be careful about the ‘entrance exams’ apparently.” Silski spoke, using air quotes around entrance exams. “Astrid came back mentioning a pretty big group was stuck in a reenabled test. There’s a chance it’s still connected to Warrior because of how big the group supposedly is. The person who showed up already is a ghost, so they likely got a free pass.”

“How m-many is a large gr-roup?” Euro asked, getting an answer of ten people, which made him hiss and hide by snuggling into cat fur.

“They hopefully won’t come through then.” Krys spoke, though she still looked concerned. “Did Astrid mention any progress?”

“Not directly, no.” Silski started, then quickly added before anyone could reply, “She did mention a ‘king’ is part of the group, so if they do make it through…”

“I understand. If something happens to you, we won’t fault you for it.”

Silski shrugged, and Grian looked for some sort of answer, though he wasn’t given one. “I still might as well give the rest of the information I’ve put together. It’ll go to a whole lot more use if it’s not stuck with me.”

“Okay spit it out half n half.” Ekke got glares from everyone with working eyes, but didn’t seem to mind, just waiting for Silski to continue.

“This next part is probably going to get me in trouble, but I don’t trust Grifter.”

“What?” Grian turned in his seat to look at Silski. “Uh, but he’s me?” He then wondered if Silski had realized that they weren’t the real Grifter. “Why say it in front of me if-”

“Because you should get a heads up.” Silski replied, cutting Grian off, then further explained when Krys asked him to. “Look, he’s the new admin and everything, and I swear my distaste isn’t just because of the company he keeps, though to me it’s a very good reason.”

“That’s my future husband you’re referring to.” Grian complained before Silski whacked him.

“Look, he’s your future version. I’m sure you think that makes him immediately trustworthy, but I don’t think that’s the case. You want to go to your home and change the past? Well what if he’s in the version of the timeline where he tried that and it’s a lost cause? You were mumbling about someone completely different when you came back from some ‘training’ with Grifter, and based on context clues, I think it’s someone you want to change the past for. Maybe Grifter thinks it’s fine to screw them over to keep things how they are, but you might not.”

“Who’s to say it wouldn’t be purposely screwing them over that I want to cause?” Grian asked, getting an answer from Euro.

“W-well, if you wa-ant to do that, then y-you would just want to d-do it f-for you, but Sils-ski said you w-want it f-for the other p-person, which i-isn’t a dist-tinction made lightly.”

“Okay, fine. So what if that is what he’s doing? Maybe he’s right.” Grian spoke back, though if it were the case, he wouldn’t be happy with it.

“That’s just one possibility. There could be other things that are going on. Like the fact that he’s training you at all is worrying.”

“How so?”

“What exactly is he training you for?” Krys asked, and Grian quickly gave the answer, which seemed to concern her. “Oh, yes that is worrying. Listeners are particular about things, Watchers just as much.”

“Watchers?” Grian asked. It wasn’t something Grifter had mentioned, at least not that he could really recall.

“They’re counterparts to Listeners. It’s not something I’m an expert on, not in the slightest, but the two are made to be balances to one another in more than one way, to the point that just one Listener can affect things on the other side greatly. If you’re learning early, it could cause some issues.”

“Well, Grifter’s been constantly going to wherever other Listeners are and telling them about what’s going on.” Grian explained from what he had been told. “If they haven’t made a big stink about it, then it must be fine, right?”

“G-grian, you k-keep saying th-things that you’ve b-been told.” Euro spoke up. “B-but have you g-gotten any p-proof? Saying th-things c-can be r-really easy comp-pared to actual p-proof.”

Grian wondered for a moment if maybe Euro had a point before he remembered that Grifter had given him some proof. “Yes, I have.” He looked over at Krys, knowing she would be able to verify what he was saying on some level. “The other person who’s been staying with you, Flora’s mom Sadie, she’s seen the physical proof I’ve been given about everything.”

Krys paused before nodding. Sadie had mentioned something to her of that sort. That confirmation seemed to help Euro and Ekke, but Silski was another deal. He knew a bit more than he could say, for fear of completely screwing things over. Sure, proof could be proof, but it still wasn’t something first hand. Even something like what Grian was mentioning needed to be verified. And if it was anything like what he assumed from what little info he’d gathered about what the so called proof was, it seemed like something that could be manipulated, giving half truths and leaving out certain parts to cast Grifter in a better light than reality.

“Now, I would like to circle back to something you mentioned before.” Krys spoke up, directing her statement to Silski. “This ghost you mentioned could have easily gotten through to this world, but it sounded like this Spore person is also around if the ghost has already contacted them. That is what you meant, yes?”

“Right.” Silski grumbled. “My guess is they either managed to be separate from the big group, or they got in through alternate methods.”

“Like what?” Ekke asked, then Silski patted Grian’s head. “Him?”

“Me?” Grian asked, looking up at Silski for some sort of explanation.

“Just because it could be they’re connected to sculk doesn’t mean they definitely are. You guys crashed at our house after you met with Cerus, which happened because you owed Wassa. And you owed Wassa because after Grifter took you off-world to train, you came back with some sort of substance on your wings that appeared after you were in a mushroom valley or something.”

“Uh… cave but the rest is pretty accurate.” Grian mentioned. “How much are they talking about me behind my back?”

“Just stuff they want another opinion on.” Silski tried reassuring Grian. “Plus, they’re not entirely convinced Grifter’s telling the full truth either. Fleur’s wondering things with the ghost around and Astrid’s still wary of him after her whole curse incident.”

“Right, that.” Grian reluctantly agreed. He still didn’t think that was the case, that Grifter was lying. He had been handed proof, shouldn’t that be enough? “Well, uh, if we’re worried about the Spore person, since we know they’re connected to the death you’re talking about, if they were somehow brought over by me, someone should have noticed.”

“You mean like noticing you had gunk stuck all over your wings?”

“Not all over them!” Grian argued, then hesitated before adding on. “Just… noticeable enough that it bothered me. But that doesn’t take much!”

“Then show your wings off to the others.” 

Grian froze at the suggestion. Not because showing the mycelium off could be bad, but more the idea of him showing his wings off to two people who were supposed to be his family. They would know he wasn’t supposed to have these bright colorful wings, so the best explanation would be that they were disguised that way. But you couldn’t really color them differently since the shape was different too. So it would have to be some sort of illusion, but something like that should also hide the mycelium. And since they knew he was supposed to be Grifter’s past version, he couldn’t use some other excuse. He didn’t know how to make an actual illusion himself to make his wings look like how they were ‘supposed to’ while also showing off the mycelium they hadn’t quite gotten rid of. Especially since he couldn’t really look at his wings since they were on his back.

“You hesitating isn’t a great sign.” Ekke spoke up, then made Grian flinch as she blew and popped a bubblegum bubble.

“I… I’m not a fan of anyone looking at them. I barely tolerated getting them inspected before, and that was only because Flora and Astrid were there.” Grian fumbled before giving his excuse. It wasn’t exactly a lie, he had gotten used to his wings being messed with back home… mainly by Sam. If the circumstances were a little different, he probably would let the group look, but for now, he couldn’t. “I know technically you’re part of my family, well I mean you are.” Grian then had to quickly cover almost revealing things. “It’s just, I haven’t seen you guys in years. If it weren’t for showing up here in the future, it sounds like I still wouldn’t have seen you for a few more years. We might be related, but you’re still pretty much strangers to me.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Krys agreed. “However, if you could potentially come back with one of those two at a later time, this is pretty important.”

“We’ll see.” Grian answered, then looked at the others. “So, is that about it?”

“I th-think so.” Euro said, then looking to Ekke, who nodded.

“Alright then, let’s go.” Silski spoke up, then started to stand before Krys held up a hand, making everyone pause.

“There is one more thing I think we should discuss.”

“And what’s that?”

Krys sighed before speaking again. “We’re under the assumption that The Warrior is after Grian due to his time displacement, but I’m not completely sure. Technically, it could be that, but it may not be just from curiosity.”

“What do you mean?” Ekke spoke up, now sitting in her chair properly and looking at Krys. Looking over to Euro, Grian saw he looked just as concerned.

“My husband is not the biggest fan of Grian, or rather, Grifter. It takes a bit of explanation, but the long and short of it is that despite being death, they can be killed, and Grifter could potentially do that.”

“He could what?” Silski asked, surprised and nearly shouting. Grian was just as surprised. Was she saying that he would want to- no, it was just speculation, right?

“How do you know that?” Grian asked, voice wavering, before getting his fears confirmed that Grifter had tried to kill Deathza. The only thing reassuring Grian at that point was the following information that it occurred before Grifter was put in prison, meaning before he was replaced with the current Grifter.

“Okay, let me get the full explanation out of the way, it will make things a whole lot simpler.” Krys spoke, then pulled out a sword. Grian worried about why the weapon was drawn before the blade was used to carve into the table. “Our universe is really two universes. Once upon a time, they were just one, but that’s not the case now.” And she caved a line down the middle of the square she had originally carved. “Most people think of them as mirrors to one another, but that’s not exactly the case. Think of it as more of a set of scales. If you put weight on one side, a matching weight needs to be placed on the other side. It doesn’t need to be immediate, but the longer one side weighs more, the more likely it could eventually crash against the ground and potentially break the scale itself.”

Grian looked at the scale that was carved onto the table, one side on each side of the middle dividing line. While the scale example worked, the mention of most people thinking of the two as mirrors made Grian also take that into account. If it was so common, then there had to be some things that fit better with that explanation. Like, if he were here, could the actual past version of Grifter be experiencing the same thing? Or if the real Grifter were also on this side, what did that mean for the side Grian was from. “Uh, do the sides have names at all?”

“A few.” Krys agreed. “Aey and Enne, Wels and Hels, Kall(Kæll) and Glöd, there’s a good amount. We’re in Aey and the other is Enne. People are usually from one or the other, but the gods are not, and there are rumors that there are some people who could still be from the before. I would doubt that’s the case since again, the scales. They can be tipped for a while, but certainly not that long.”

Grian nodded, but then looked up from the diagram to ask a question. “So, what does that have to do with now?”

“I’m getting there.” Krys assured, then dragged her sword over the place where the scale connected. “Aey and Enne can still interact with one another. Mentioned before were the Listeners and Watchers. While they are mainly considered part of Aey and Enne respectively, they interact with both sides, with at least one of each assigned to each world. Along with that, their kind are not restricted to which side they come from. Another example of interaction is for the deaths. Two deaths for each side. They represent the two sides to death itself for their respective half of the universe.”

Krys drew a pair of circles on both sides of the split, putting an extra dot in one of the circles on what Grian assumed was the Aey side. “Despite them being the embodiment of death in its various forms, they aren’t gods. I wouldn’t say demigods either, but even lesser gods isn’t right. And then powerful practically immortals is a mouthful.” Krys sighed. “As long as the deaths are deaths, they are able to go between worlds at will, ones from both Aey and Enne. For the most part, they will stick to the side they belong to, but for certain cases they will interact with the other. The biggest reason for that is that there’s one rule placed on them by the gods. They cannot be the ones handling the souls of their family.”

While it made sense, Grian was still surprised by it. Whenever he was dealing with the possibility of dying back home, he always recalled that his mother was death. He didn’t know the full ins and outs of it, which was obvious now, but he had hoped that if he did die, stuck as a ghost or not, he would still potentially get to see her again. “So… if I end up dying…”

“Your father wouldn’t be involved, even if it would fall on his portion of death.” She paused when Grian opened his mouth. “This explanation is already long enough, I’m not explaining those sides.” And Grian’s mouth snapped shut. “Your uncle also wouldn’t be involved due to that as he is still part of your family. It affects mostly direct bonds, children, marriage, adoption too for Flora’s case. But because of all that, neither death of this world could deal with any of us, so that would fall upon the deaths of Enne. Or, it could fall upon the duty of a new death.”

“Which would happen if one of them were killed?” Grian asked, pretty sure he was following along.

“If they were killed or retired or whatnot. Their title would pass on. If they willingly leave the position, then it would be given to who they also willingly pass it to. But if they are killed, it passes to the one who defeated them.”

And suddenly a lot of things made sense. “So, you’re saying that my uncle, this ‘Warrior’, might be interested in me because Grifter could kill him. And… and he might want to kill me first? To erase Grifter so he couldn’t even try?”

“Smart kid.” Ekke spoke up, but then looked to Krys to confirm if that was what she was trying to imply, earning a nod.

“Before, I would have said that it couldn’t be the case, but there’s also the fact that Silski has implied your… ‘scent’ could be from something connected to Enne. But that doesn’t entirely matter right now. What does matter is why the Warrior is really interested in you.”

“Then I guess we’ll need to start grilling the ghost he had show up. You guys owe me and Toob for kidnapping Jane. And making him stay at our place. And making me deal with the ender fucker more. Just, you guys are in charge of interrogation.”

“Okay fine, that’s fair.” Grian agreed. “So, now are we done?”

“Yes, now we are done.” Krys agreed, then stood from her seat and flipped the table board over, revealing other carvings. “Oh, uh. I guess we need another one of these.”

“Not it.” Silski spoke up, then picked Grian up, ignoring as he squawked a bit. “I need to get him out of here and then back to my place. Among other things. So bye.” 

By the time they were back out in the snow, Grian didn’t really notice the cold all too much, instead focusing his thoughts on everything that was talked about. Okay well he did eventually focus on the cold because it felt like it was freezing his wings off. The feeling did subside enough for him to start thinking again, making him think he just got used to it. And that was a fair assumption, seeing as how he was right before with the fact that he couldn’t see his wings well, including how the mycelium stuck in them receded in time with his feeling of the cold.

.

.

.

Jrum, along with a number of the Hermits, were at spawn. He held a weapon in his off hand, but his main hand was sparking slightly. Not because he was damaged or anything, no. Vee, along with some help from Hoodie, had been teaching Jrum fairly well on how to use magic. And by fairly well, he meant he had learned the basics well enough to not explode and said it was good enough for him. 

While Jrum trusted the two enough to teach him, that still wasn’t by much, but the only Hermits who could have taught him were busy or unavailable, and the other magic users weren’t in a compatible style or whatever Joe had said about it. 

Speaking of Joe, he and the other opped Hermits had finally found the issue with the whitelist. Whether it was Grifter’s doing or someone else’s, people who were supposed to be ignored by the whitelist, specifically Watchers and Listeners, were now being checked. And since they weren’t officially on the list, they couldn’t get through. That being said, the reason Vee had gotten in was because of an exception Xisuma had added for those under a certain listed age. He had added it after a small fiasco that had happened when the bots were first given their bodies. There was also supposed to be more to the rule, but it was assumed that the fact Vee was from Hels was messing with it.

Either way, it led back to why everyone was at spawn. After adding the main people who were being kept out by the issue, Vee had been allowed to add her father onto the list. Though the Hermits were reluctant since he had associated with Grifter before, he hadn’t seemed to know the actual truth. Still, he probably knew the most out of everyone involved that would be willing to talk to them. And if he did cause issues, then Pix or Zloy could be called in.

When someone finally appeared, the Hermits all prepared just in case there were problems right off the bat. Fortunately that didn’t seem to be the case, and the Listener just looked over the Hermits before Cub gestured that they could relax a bit. As soon as he did, Vee ran out from the crowd, no longer being held back by Stress. 

The Listener merely let Vee tackle him with a hug before attaching herself to one of his arms. One of his six arms. The arm lifted until Vee was in front of his face, which had milky white eyes that probably couldn’t see well if at all. “Papa! You’re here!”

“I am.”

“And you’re like this! Jungle gym time!”

The Listener laughed before bringing another arm up, which she also hugged onto. As she continued to hang from his arms, the Listener looked at the Hermits to answer the main question he assumed they had. “I don’t feel comfortable showing off my regular look to you guys. This is how I look when all… Listener-ified. I think you have seen how Grian looks when he’s the same.”

“You mean when he looks more like a giant harpy?” Scar spoke up, getting another laugh out of the Listener.

“Yes, like that. I managed to get these things.” And he moved his extra sets of arms that Vee wasn’t clinging to.

“Jungle gym Papa!”

“Yes, it could also be called that.” And then he pulled Vee away and put her back on the ground. “But it’s probably better if you go play somewhere else.”

“Aww, but you just got here!”

The Listener sort of seemed to glance up at the Hermits before speaking to Vee again in a stage whisper. “Well I think these guys want to make me do boring adult things with me. Probably meetings and paperwork and presentations.”

“Nooo that’s dumb!”

“Well you can run off so you won’t have to suffer through it with me.”

Vee nodded before running over to Jrum to play with him again. Jrum reluctantly followed, but did his best to go slowly to hear as much of what he could.

“Alright, so are we going to be talking here, or do you guys have a special meeting room?”

“We have one of those if you don’t mind the travel to get there.” Cub was the one who spoke up, and then Jrum caught the Listener nodding.

“It’s no problem Mx…?”

“Huh? Oh don’t bother with that, just call me Cub.”

“You never know, better safe than sorry.” And then Jrum saw him shrug, which looked weird with extra arms. “You can call me Joeyish.”

And then Jrum was finally pulled out of hearing range, and also dealing with Vee panicking from seeing a fish.

[tommyinnit-simp-95]

Slowly standing up, Fundy felt his fur on his tail bristle up and the appendage itself start to flick angrily.

"He dewinged him…" Fundy whispers as he turns to the main lobby hall. "He made everyone abandon him, leave him for dead, hate him for something he didn't do, fucking abandon me and Yogurt, MANIPULATE EVERYONE AND TURNED MY FUCKING FATHER INTO A RAGING LUNATIC!"

Stepping down the hall, the fox grinned and let out a dark and sinister laugh as the last bits of love he had for the bastard admin dwindled away from his heart and soul.

"I'm going to fucking kill him and that piece of shit mother that raised him."

TW: Cussing Panic attack Mention of the L'manburg war Mention of torture Mention of child abuse Vomit Violence Weebs Anime references Threats Nonconsensual drinking (a character didn't know they were consuming alcohol) Twitter Crying Broken Bones

[indigo-flightly-falls]

Just a ramble about BTNH!Fundy

Okay so I love him so fucking much, he's amazing and deserves everything

(The BTNH AU is basically the dsmp but a bunch of the bad things in characters backstories never happen! Also a lot of the lore is different, if it exists at all!)

I have a clear picture of what Fundy looks like so I shall say it!

So for starters, forget everything canon Fundy looks like. Except for being a fox hybrid, that's still a thing-

(He looks human except for his ears and tail!)

So his eyes are open, the right one's yellow and the left one his ruby red! His light orange hair is pretty messy, but that's just because he doesn't like washing it (redstone gets in his hair and feels really weird when wet!)

He wears a dark gray shirt with a red stripe at the top! His pants are a basic black, but are stained with redstone from his projects! He wears a black jacket with green markings and also a pale red skirt with a white stripe towards the end! (clothes do not equal gender, Fundy is transmasc and still wears a skirt because if his own free will.)

He has rusty red gloves that still exposes his fingers, green mossy socks and bight red sneakers! He often wears a pale red and white mask for the fun of it! He also has a bright green bandana tied around his left leg (Tubbo's) and a bright purple neckless of feathers around his neck (Purpled's)!

He has a yellow rose and a violet in his hair! (Yellow Rose - friendship, violet - loyalty)

His face is covered in scars from 3rd/Last Life, most notably a large burn scar from 3rd Life.

He also has a set of royal blue wings!

[hermitcrossovers]

Fundy and Purpled met because Purpled is Grian's son (long story, tldr: Purpled was abandoned in the Watcher city, Grian took him in) and both Etho and Grian like to hang out on Hels for unrelated reasons :] (Grian's hels is his sister and Renbob is there so besties, Etho is basically an honorary helsmit at this point) Grian sent Purpled to the dsmp as part of how Watchers learn to use their powers. At the age of 9-10, they are sent to a server to learn all about their specific powers. The admin of this server will be aware of the Watcher in most cases

The Hermits found out about Fundy after the whole nuke thing, which ended up with Fundy getting sent to the last place he had set his spawn, which happened to be Hels! Etho decided to introduce him to the Hermits during season 9, as it felt like the right time after all that time - 🔮🐦 (Magic bird anon)

watcher city?? you can't just drop that on me like that

would grians hels be ariana griande (as his sister) or is she one of grians personas?

does iskall know about fundy being ethos kid in this au? since he did like a cameo helping fundy build a redstone door or something like that on the dream smp.

[yellowsomethings]

beans exchange letter 2023

hi its us thebeans you have been selected to secret us a santa !! this is going to be a bit of a tutorial letter so everyone else knows what exchange letters are like, so rest assured it will be as comprehensive as i can manage. remember that you do not need to fulfill All of the conditions the recipient lists, just at least one of them to the best of your ability. woo

want:

1. hermits

big fan of grian, scar, mumbo, ren, doc, bdubs, zed, joe hills, things of this nature. i think the slapfight goes here if it goes anywhere. we have seen seasons 6/7/8/9 and a little of season 5 so if you go before that we will probably be Confused but Willing To Roll With It. idk theres the wonderful world of hermits and crafting

2. lifes

you are probably well aware the extent to which we like the life series. things you could cover include property police kiss on the mouth secret life (or property police cold patrol new life which isn't getting its own entire bullet but it's a thing), treebark slash fairydog slash renb, toxic yaoi majorwood, the bad boys, last life grumbo, idk get silly with it !! slash p or slash r it is all good <- applies to all listed items in this letter not just here

3. empires

empires:). for season 1 there's flower husbands; you could do kathgempearl or some duo permutation; arenaduo; the whole wra tbh; smallidarizzie trio; scott and xornoth content (you could write the one billionth postcanon xornoth finds out what happened fic if you wanted). for season 2 HEAVENTRIO OBVIOUSLY; or arenaduo again or hallelujahduo or roundhousekickduo which i still need to come up with a better name for; best buds jim and joel; kathgem; pixlriffs; the crossover; fairytale trio i also like; maybe some olieddie as a treat if you're so inclined

4. eswap

free space basically. scottpearl !!!!!!! or arenaduo or kathgempearl again (or duo permutation) or pearl and pix bonding maybe idk what the state of eswap is gonna be pixwise by the end of november. or if some other part of eswap compels you then go for it. you might wanna write the watcher grian crossover idea that jay2 had that one time. up to u :D

5. pirates/rats

yeah babyyyyyy this is the writing to pander to littlesound zone. i love datastream martyn interacting with this-is-just-their-world other characters such as oli or sausage or olive or shelby or owen or scar or other people that don't start with the letters o and s. kisstrels obviously (including shep and shub); you could do property police with martyn and safety rat; farmer rat scott, baker rat lizzie, he had a pretty sweet bond with will. maybe mratyn watching as oli tries and fails to seduce the butler with cringefail affection in his eyes. maybe mratyn trying and failing to seduce one of the brown wild dogs at the edge of the grounds while scott looks on in disappointment. p!bek is canonically aroace so if you write pirate bekel you'd probably get Comments about it but like if you don't fear the fandom then fuck it. SPEAKING OF:

6. witchcraft

YURI OPPORTUNITY AGAIN BUT FOR BEK INSTEAD! beky's finally figured out her witchcraft bek au which is that el is a not-so-famous witchtuber and bek is one of her few very dedicated commenters so when el randomly stumbles across the supreme witch crown where scott dropped it then she ends up asking bek what to do and they bond from there, so you may wanna do something with that.

7. dsmp

if you are dsmp inclined and you want to go classic style then you cannot go wrong with a little bit of crimboy/clingy. bee/bench and michael could also be fun; i like niki, big q, JACK MANIFOLD, fundy, eret, hbomb, foolish, and i miss honq every day babyyyy <- not every day but often. if you'd like to add to the hit canon ao3 tag tommyinnit crashes own funeral (dream smp) then that would be very welcomed too, i canonised that shit with my bare hands

8. au ideas

well i said all of that for canon concepts but what if you want to write/draw an alternate universe? goooo fuckin crazy with it my friend. some concepts i enjoy reading are: royalty; urban/low fantasy; newly discovered/obtained superpowers; domestic roommates setting; famous & doesnt give a shit about that fame; creative type & muse; guardian angel & human. idk have fun!

9. not mcyt

i'm adding this section because i know some people will want to do this but mine will be quite short because i . do not watch anything else. uhhhh the magnus archives. moon knight 2022. i like quite a lot of musical theatre but mostly the modern post hamilton shit and i have not seen hadestown. thubs up

do not want

don't do scottpearl if it isn't eswap please! or any hermit pearl actually! uhhh nothing particularly viscerally gorey but it's ok if people die or get injured. this isn't a dnw but it is a specification, if you would like to trans some genders and neo some pronouns then you should feel absolutely free to go ahead love is love. i think i'm gonna make no nsfw a rule for the entire exchange so i don't need to clarify that. probably best to have minimal cleo inclusion if any. any fics which are specifically about the moment after a life series game where characters see each other and talk about what happened because those are weirdly common and we don't like it and it feels weird. no blinding, no throats slit, no being suffocated/choked. ummm ya if you arent sure whether something would be ok then go ahead and ask!

will write

this one is gonna be much shorter

hermits: bdubs cub doc gem scar grian joe pearl ren tango xb zed cleo

life series: scott ren martyn pearl joel grian scar bdubs lizzie skizz mumbo jimmy gem

empires 1: scott gem joey kath lizzie sausage pearl joel jimmy

empires 2: scott gem joey kath lizzie sausage pearl pix shelby joel jimmy oli

pirates: acho aimsey bek puffy eret scar guqqie martyn kyle sausage olive oli owen ros shelby scott el tubbo

rats: bek el jimmy lizzie martyn oli olive owen scott shelby tubbo

witchcraft: scott joey pris shelby el cleo

dsmp: eret callahan eryn bbh puffy phil niki karl sapnap george quackity foolish jack manifold hbomb fundy aimsey slime wilbur sam ranboo schlatt dream punz tommy tubbo techno dxd

misc: honestly i think if you asked me to write qsmp phil tubbo fit cellbit bagi bad foolish wilbur tallulah chayanne then i probably could at this point. but don't ask me to. also the afterlife/new life smp i will write for also

won't write

i'm sorry i can't write the copper people on empires i just have not seen them enough to. highly doubt my ability to write crastle/best/ties/similar groupings well. dear god please don't make me write the syndicate it won't be good for either of us. i will not write nature wives i can't do it to my girlo. pirates!scott ships also. if it's gonna get me cancelled then i may still be willing to write it but i will not post it on ao3, it's going straight into fools writing discussion channel when it goes live. i won't write . idk pregnancy? you probably weren't gonna ask for pregnancy. again feel free to ask :thumbsup:

[okayish-mcyt-aus]

New AU! This was lowkey inspired by a old fanfic I read once and it was horrible but the premise I actually like

Fundy, Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo, and Purpled are all cousins, they live in a large manson with their parents. However, their parents all dislike the kids. They all have their 'reasons' but the point still stands.

On the shared birthday for the kids, a box of plushies from an arcade all the kids love is placed on the floor. They are told that they can each split the plushies between them.

The night after all the kids pick the plushies, shadowy monsters start haunting them at night. But somehow, the kids still cling to the plushies, and in some cases, the monsters themselves.

Meanwhile, the hermits are very concerned over the fact that these kids are so starved of love that they'd pick literal monsters to be comforts. Not to mention that a few hermits were abused before they died and started haunting the plushies.

They kinda end up becoming parents/guardians/friends to the kids. Also they end up calling the cops because voiddamn it, these kids need a break.

[dragon-mantis]

ty for the tag!

ive got:

dsmp/qsmp au

hermit tommy but cabinet centric

sticks ranboo sapnap and fundy in a cage

ransiblings

tma/dsmp

techno and kristin are sibs

fish yuri

dsmp renegades

chocolate bar

on being an amalgamation

taggin @cyrenescreams @denzartriste and anyone else who wants to hop on!

WIP Challenge!

Rules: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.  Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it!  And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.  I have deemed that this isn’t just for writing either.  Sketch titles?  Comics?  DnD campaigns?  If you have an unfinished project, it counts!!  

Hi everyone! In honor of fanfic writer appreciation day, bringing this back!

My insane taglist under the cut, but if you see this in the wild feel free to jump on!!

tagging people from nwod and fic fest! ignore the ping if you didn't want it sorry dfkjlgh but i find these fun and thought some of you might, too :D

@only-lonely-stars @rosiehunterwolf @silvermags @starlightaxolotl @guplia @stars-brownies-n-metaphors @bananaplayzz @boba-pearl @caycubone @weekend-whip @pandemonium-kidz @aroninshonour @zebaji @kumoriwrites @spinbitchzu @tirednapentity @taddymason @psychologicalwarclaire @finn-m-corvex @knowledgequeenabc @tinywriterfairy @graceful-not @jays-supersonic-dynamo @artqueen02 @basicallyjaywalker @fruit-colored-ninja @summerf0x @nocturnal-nexu @riseleon @indigosky101 @miqotepotatoe @randomcrapstories @lightning-chicken @crikkit-kitterton @colesstar @lloydenthusiast @senseigrace @the-painted-siren @ataraxixx @parateuthis @curiositythecryptid @elemom @mikewheelerfan2022 @mcfanely @rainbow-flavoured-skittles @a-big-chicken-nerd @collectiveclams @stealingyourbones @abunnsburrow @survivalshipping @gravyhoney @officercooks @laziarteest @nin-jay-go @themilosquid @fandomsareforlife @goldenavenger02 @localguy2 @blu3cl0v3rs @ghostwalloper @cboffshore @bookworm-dork-fish @raven6229

HUGE BREATH HELLO

[calciumgaymer]

I am a little too attached to this idea.

This also has a lot of my Hermitcraft Headcanons, so just roll with whatever I type.

Hermit!Fundy AU

After Doomsday, Fundy runs away from the DSMP and somehow ends up in Hermitcraft.

He is confused about where he is because c!Fundy wouldn't he aware of what Hermitcraft is, though I imagine be has heard stories.

I like to think when he gets nervous he reverts into fox like tendencies like swiping items. He starts stealing from the Hermits, only essential items though.

Iskall is the one who finds him. The naga heads home to his tree when he sees Fundy there with berries in his mouth. Foxes are faster than snakes so Fundy easily outruns Iskall.

Iskall sends out an alert that a humanoid fox seems to be stealing from him so he is probably the fox stealing from others.

It is easily decided that Etho is the one to hunt down this newcomer as he is the fastest Hermit when it comes to the ground. Etho enlists False, Grian, Stress, and Beef to help him out.

After communication between the five, Etho captures Fundy and brings him to the shopping district. Fundy is terrified because him being contained reminds him of the Manburg Festival and Technoblade's execution.

Iskall volunteers to look after Fundy until the hermits meet up to determine his fate.

Iskall and Fundy form a strong bond as Iskall regconizes Fundy as an inventor after Iskall accidentally spilled redstone dust. Iskall manages to glean some information from the fox about the Dream SMP.

Iskall just learns that Fundy's home was destroyed so he ran away. Iskall also infers that Fundy didn't have the best support system after going over his notes with Cleo.

The meeting comes and Iskall convinces the others to let Fundy stay for a bit.

Fundy sticks by Iskall the most, but slowly warms up to Doc and Stress as well.

Doc reminds Fundy of Schlatt

Stress reminds Fundy of Niki

Stress is the first one to learn that Fundy is a Nymph most comfortable in fox form. Stress is a Nymph as well, so the two bond over nature.

The other Hermits notice that Fundy tends to reject his hybrid heritage, and are concerned by this considering that a lot of their members are hybrids on some level.

Stress manages to get an answer from Fundy that his old server was not friendly towards hybrids citing an enderman hybrid to be forced to take off their hat even though it protects them from the rain. He also cites that being a hybrid was used as one of the reasons to execute someone.

Hermitcraft make a point to show they don't care about hybrids showing off their traits. Grian and Zedaph fly around a lot more around Fundy to display the fact their wings aren't clipped. Cleo is seen being given weakness potions as they are the equivalent of regeneration potions to her. Vintage isn't teased with the color red or made fun of for being mostly vegetarian. Ren isn't made fun of for his tail wagging or being restrained when the full moon comes. Iskall still has his fangs. Tango soaks into pools of lava and isn't treated as terrifying like withers are on the DSMP.

Eventually Fundy starts to display his more hybrid like traits. He eats berries more often and sleeps curled up. He even forgets that others can't just walk through berry bushes like he can. He allows himself to jump higher and dig random holes around the place to burry items into. He even makes himself a den instead of a house where he is most comfortable.

Fundy is a prankster, and once Grian found out it was the end for all the Hermits' sanity.

Hermits like to share stories of their scars, and ask Fundy about the scorch marks on his paws. Fundy awkwardly explains it is from when his father blew up his home and from where he has handled matches in bounts of insanity.

Afterwards the Hermits make it a point to check up on him from time to time. Fundy is starved of touch and communication so he gets really excited when any of them drop in for a visit. Eventually all the Hermits learn about Fundy's depressing life.

Fundy was overjoyed to learn that the Hermits loved making minigames, and instantly took to trying them out and making his own.

Fundy makes a blender and makes a smoothie stall in the shopping district. The Hermits make sure to tell him he has to pay for the land, but decide since it is small Fundy only has to pay five diamonds instead of a full block.

Fundy starts to breed berry bushes and makes different kinds of berries.

Since griefing isn't allowed on the Hermitcraft server, Fundy makes random shit and blows it up. This is very much a coping mechanism for him, but also a bit sad since he finds the sounds of explosions comforting.

Fundy is hired by the Boomers, and has a blast learning different ways to let off tnt.

Fundy loses his mind when he meets Xisuma, because holy shit that is the creator of bedwars and bedwars is talked about a lot on the DSMP.

He promptly faints when he learns that Xisuma is in fact Xisuma Bedwars, Purpled Bedwars' dad. Thank you hostilemuppet for this headcanon.

The fact the End is open also freaks Fundy out, so you can imagine his shock when he saw that full sets of netherite, elytras, and shulkers were casually for sale.

[indigo-flightly-falls]

Indigo. I’ve spent so many braincells on your found family au and things that are not in the canon at all that I basically just ended up making a 3rd life high school au. What have I done

-@10piecechickenmcnugget

Ah so you have become like me >:}

I also do this quite a bit, start out with one AU, here's 1-3 more based off the exact same thing lol. Take butterfly reign. Now I've got an AU that add the hermits, Purpled and Fundy as main characters :).

[dragon-mantis]

ok ok so:

it starts out like a normal hermit!tommy au. tommy on his way to leave exile, dream comes back early and accidentally kills him. except instead of tommy automatically going to hermit craft, hes just. kinda dead.

dream looks at the corpse and is like. hm. this would be a great time to test my revival book. only, uh oh, it doesnt work and tommy goes to hermitcraft

dream is like. well. thats bad. but on the bright side no one ever comes to visit tommy, so he has time to think of a plan.

tubbo precedes to walk through the portal.

(another things that is different is that when dream sent ghostbur away, ghostbur managed to find his way to lmanburg right before th butcher army went to interrogate phil. he said some really concerning things, so tubbo was like, ok we're putting this on hold for a minute while i go check on tommy)

tubbo and dream have an "and i look at him, and he looks at me" moment bc dream standing over a bloody ritual circle while logstedshire looks like that is a pretty compromising position to be caught in

dream runs before tubbo can do anything, and tubbo goes back to lmanburg and is like "change of plans guys, we need to kill dream like right now"

(this means that phil is still in lmanburg and has no reason to hate them, and techno is still in retirement. this changes things)

quackity finds himself in the position of being the responsible adult, bc the other members of the cabinet are tubbo, who is Going Through It atm; fundy, whos nightmares are getting worse for some reason; and ranboo, who is also getting worse (bc dream has no one else to toy with so ranboo is getting more attention)

quackity wants to go kill dream so bad, but unfourtunately he needs to keep these guys to gether and functioning

and yeah thats (most) of the au :]

does anyone want to hear about my hermit!tommy-but-actually-hes-a-background character-and-its-focused-on-the-new lmanburg-cabinet au?

[hermitcrossovers]

Hmmmmm once again thinking about my Fundy is Etho's son headcanon so have some more stuff!

they are both neurodivergent (ADHD, autistic, and they've both got some sort of anxiety). Fundy got it from Etho and Etho got it from spawning into thin air

This one ties into a personal little headcanon, but Fundy was actually raised on Helscraft until he was sent to the dsmp! (long story short, Ex rescued Etho from the weird jungle illness in season 5 and Etho just sorta stayed for a bit)

Fundy was sent to the dsmp for two reasons: 1) there was nobody close to his age on helscraft and Purpled was on the dsmp so it worked out, and 2) Etho didn't really know how to explain why they had this child following them

Fundy barely had to come out as trans because Etho's agender and 85% of helscraft are not cis. It was literally a one off conversation and that was that.

Fundy takes after Etho's shopping addiction, and the two of them are not allowed into the main hub for shopping unless somebody is there to watch them

Fundy typically tends to wear a simply cloth mask and a comfy vest, because he wants to be like his parent :]

Fundy actually gains a bit of a reputation due to his part on the dsmp and also his chaotic (and very very impressive) mods. A fair amount of the hermits at least knew his name, so when Etho introduced him as their son, there was some chaos and confusion to say the least! (also because Fundy's assumed to be an adult but is actually only 14 (something in his code made him age weird))

- 🔮🐦 (magic bird anon (who has returned! sorry for being away for so long, kept getting sucked into non-hermitcraft au ideas so I didn't really feel like submitting them until I fleshed them out a bit 😅))

how did fundy and purpled meet? do the hermits know that etho has a wierd fox-child following him around sometimes?

[tommyinnit-simp-95]

At a family dinner

Tommy, looks up from his fries: Dad can you pass the salt?

Techno, Sam, Phil, Ghostbur, Mumbo, Grian, Doc: *all reach for the salt*

Techno:

Sam:

Phil:

Ghostbur:

Mumbo:

Grian:

Doc:

Tommy, realizing what just happened: Uh...I-I mean, mama! Can you pass the salt?

George, Foolish, Eret: *reach for the salt*

George, Foolish, Eret: *freeze*

Tommy, groaning: I have to many parental figures...bubba, can you please pass the-

Fundy, Foolish Junior: *reach for the salt*

Tommy, groans and lays his head down next to his plate: Just...just somebody pass the salt...

Ponk: *passes Tommy the salt*

[star-cluster-nyx]

I love you hermit!Tommy aus, I love you Tubbo on Hermitcraft, I love you Ranboo as Mumbo's son, I love you Fundy and Iskall friendship, I love you brothers Phil and Grian, I love you mechanical geniuses Sam and Doc, I love you Watcher lore that ties the two servers together

I love Hermitcraft x Dsmp crossovers

[redorich]

to those who carried on

A fic for @petrichormeraki​ and their Hermit!Tommy AU.

-------

The hermits know Tommy as a quiet young man who is very sad and contemplative. The more time they spend with him (against his will, but they know he needs the company) the more they learn of the little details. His favorite block is cobblestone, he likes building towers, and apparently his favorite woman is the Queen. They don’t ask why he wears a smiley mask even though he never seems happy. They don’t ask why he hides important things in his ender chest. They don’t ask why he wears a shattered compass on a chain about his neck.

(Once, he died in lava and lost his absolute mind. He was so upset about the compass that he didn’t even mention the stack and a half of diamond ore he had on him. Xisuma ended up manually rolling back the server just so Tommy could have it back.)

As time goes on, the tremors in Tommy's hands grow lesser. His dull blond hair seems a bit brighter, his bruises fade quicker, he doesn’t look quite so skinny-- he spends his time serenely building, resource gathering instead of running and fighting. He has a sense of humor under all that trauma, which the hermits unfortunately find out after another massive-scale prank war thought to be instigated by Grian actually turns out to be Tommy's fault.

Tommy starts swearing more. Doc gets the stink eye from Stress for this, but Doc insists he’s never once sworn around the young man. (That’s an absolute lie, but it wasn’t anything Tommy hadn’t heard before. Tommy thinks Doc is remarkably unoriginal in his cursing. He does take note of the German ones, though.)

Inviting Tommy to PvP minigames can be touchy, they learn. He likes to fight, but he fights like an animal with nothing to lose. Grian once chanted, “It stays in the pit!” and everyone present had to spend the next five minutes wrangling Tommy’s soul back into his body from wherever it’d floated off to.

Tommy likes to glide with his elytra. He claims he’s never had one before, but he flies like such a natural that a few people have their doubts. On a dark desert night, with dark blue eyes watching the night sky, he confides to Cub that it reminds him of the way his dad used to fly. He hates rockets, though. He does not confide to Cub that it reminds him of what his brother did to his best friend. He says enough that Cub can guess, though.

Scar gets fed up with Tommy’s creeper holes and makes Tommy help him fix them. At first, Tommy has no clue why Scar is breaking out things like coarse dirt and birch leaves and making the ground all fancy, but he’s not afraid of a little hard work and Scar makes it fun. He learns a lot about terraforming that day, and awkwardly comes back a few days later asking if Scar needs any more help terraforming. Tommy still hasn’t built a real base, not by Hermitcraft standards, but the small hill he’s built his dirt hut near now has a very beautiful, if amateurish, waterfall. He doesn’t tell Scar about this, but Scar finds out anyway. Tommy wakes up one morning to find that someone has left a shulker box in his house. Instead of iron-gripped paranoia, he just feels wonder that someone would give him a gift-- to the hermits, a single shulker box is nothing. To Tommy, it’s everything.

The shulker box contains coarse dirt, birch leaves, and a silk touch shovel.

Tommy helps Xisuma mine a giant hole in the ground near bedrock, because he realizes that he’s never thanked the admin for getting him his compass back. Well, that and the fact that instamining with a haste two beacon and an efficiency five pickaxe is a novelty. Xisuma lets him keep the cobble, since everyone knows it’s Tommy’s favorite block, but also insists he keep some of the other blocks like andesite and diorite. He pats Tommy on the head and tells him to talk to Bdubs about building a house some time. Tommy nods. He's taken aback by how tall Xisuma is, completely contrasting his mild nature. He reminds Tommy of Wilbur, on one of his good days before... Before. Not Ghostbur, though-- the admin is much too alive.

Tommy waits too long, so eventually Bdubs comes to him. The man is silly and outrageous, playing everything for laughs and unexpectedly tender. Bdubs plays up how beautiful he thinks Tommy’s hideous dirt shack is, then offers to help him build a house that’s better. For Tommy, building a house means settling down, accepting that this is his home now. Bdubs doesn’t know this. Tommy builds cobblestone dicks while Bdubs tries to lecture him about depth and block variation. Nothing gets done and Bdubs feels like he might have failed, but come next week Bdubs is flying over the area and sees the dicks are gone; so is the dirt house. In its place is a spruce-and-cobble cottage nestled near the tiny waterfall. Off to the side, he’s made a cozy doghouse for his fox, Theo. Bdubs doesn’t know how close that fox came to being named Fundy.

He spars with False, and she very pointedly does not mention how his stances are uniquely suited to a piglin. There’s only one renowned fighter who’s a piglin, after all. It's Tommy’s story to tell, if he ever does, why he’s seen enough of the legendary Technoblade’s fights to pick up on his stances, yet he’s not experienced enough to know that they don’t suit him. Instead, False gives him different stances suited more for tall, skinny people like the two of them. She’s got blond hair and blue eyes just like him. (Not that she’d know. She’s never seen his eyes, hidden behind his mask as they are.) Every now and then, he imagines her as an older sister, and the one time he says so, she smiles. When Tommy’s at home, looking at his own distorted reflection in his waterfall (he’s improved it since he built it), he muses that their eyes aren’t the same, their hair colors are subtly off. It’s close enough, he thinks.

Stress dies from fall damage and Tommy goes out of his way to pick up her stuff, because the hermits do these things out of the kindness of their hearts. The thought never even crosses their minds to steal. It crosses his mind. He doesn’t do it. Stealing from Stress would be like stealing from Niki.

He shows up at Cleo’s base unannounced and demands to see the “cool shit”. He is appropriately enthused by the giant armor-stand-bugs. She tries teaching him her armor stand magic, but it doesn’t really sink in. It’s okay, she assures him, most people don’t have the knack for it. He does, however, learn that buttons make excellent decorations. He also learns how to braid hair, bribed by ice cream. He is terrible at it, to the point where Joe has to come by to help the two untangle her hair so Tommy can start again. Watching the two bicker over capitalism and six million armor stands and a whole host of other inside jokes he doesn’t get, he thinks he’s starting to understand what friendship is supposed to be like. Joe and Cleo don’t see him clutching his compass. He and Tubbo weren’t too far off from this, given their circumstances. Maybe...

Maybe Tubbo can be forgiven.

Tommy makes minigames of his own, ones that don’t just kill you and steal your stuff. He builds things that are pretty instead of just functional, brews potions with Stress and only calls them drugs once (again, upsetting her is like upsetting Niki. Best not done), and sets up chicken bombs above people’s bases instead of just lavacasting them. (As Grian saw the hundreds of chickens slowly raining down upon his mansion, he got such a peculiar look on his face that Tommy feared he’d fucked up. The shorter, stronger (much stronger oh god why is he so strong despite being so small) man nearly crushed Tommy’s lungs in a hug, proclaiming how proud he was of Tommy. Tommy was proud of himself for not accidentally murdering Grian out of reflex. Was this what healing was like?)

Yes. It is what healing is like. Tommy knows this because that wound gets ripped open again. Tango shows him how to build the most obnoxious redstone-powered noise machine the two can think of. Tango digs a small pit, and asks Tommy to throw down his axe. Suddenly, Tommy’s in Logstedshire again; it’s not Tango asking, it’s Dream. His hands don’t shake when he tosses his axe into the pit, followed by his sword and his armor. It isn't until he’s placed the TNT down that Tango grabs his wrist and asks him what he’s doing. Tommy’s eyes clear enough that he can see past the blond hair and freckles. Tango isn’t green, he’s red. He's shorter than Dream, and his worried eyes are unhidden. Tommy shudders, then tells Tango everything.

Tango has no pity for Tommy, just understanding and sympathy. He doesn’t push Tommy to talk about it, but when Tommy’s done telling his story, Impulse and Zedaph show up. They all pretend that Tommy’s voice isn’t hoarse, that they all didn’t conveniently happen to look away when Tommy took off his mask just long enough to wipe his eyes. The men bake a cake together, fool around with honey blocks, and don’t talk about it.

Tommy knows very little about redstone, considers himself more of a builder and a fighter than an engineer. Still, Mumbo’s living base is inspiring, and Tommy often hangs around the man’s industrial district just to watch Mumbo work. Mumbo knows that Tommy hasn’t purchased a day pass, but it’s nice having someone around to talk to while he works. It’s not like Tommy is stealing anything. (Tommy totally steals from Mumbo’s industrial district storage system. The man’s farms are so efficient that he doesn’t even notice, so Tommy assumes it’s fine. What Mumbo doesn’t know won’t hurt him.)

Lava still isn’t his favorite thing in the world. He stays far away from it, instead of imagining what it would be like to hurtle towards it. Ren doesn’t really notice this, but he does notice that Tommy doesn’t seem to like his mustafarian base. On a spur-of-the-moment whim, Ren whips up some absurd plotline in which he is a lone weary traveller seeking refuge at Tommy’s base from strange alien overlords. The two have fun together, and the young man cracks more absurd jokes about it than the hermits have ever seen him do. When Ren leaves a week later to return to his own base, Tommy keeps being absurd, if a bit more subdued without someone to play off of. He builds a shrine to the “prime log”, which grows more elaborate each day. Beef and xB pretend to be his acolytes, despite having no clue what a “twitch prime” is.

They can’t see his face, but the smile in his voice is a far cry from the despondency he once wore like a heavy cloak. He is so much more animated and alive, full of motivation. He builds an entire island in three days, and hand-delivers an invitation to each and every hermit for his beach party. Everyone shows up, even those with packed schedules (Iskall) and those with introverted tendencies (Etho). Tommy is nearly moved to tears when they show up in groups of twos and threes, as though he hadn’t expected anyone to come. There aren’t enough chairs for everyone, but there is more than enough cake to go around. Tango brings drinks, Impulse brings meat to barbecue, and Zedaph makes an elaborate jump-powered grill. Keralis brings way too much confetti and several handfuls of cheap, obnoxious party noisemakers. Stress brings Tommy a crown made out of alliums. It shines far less than his brother’s gold crown, and it’ll die in a few days, but he wears it all night and keeps it in his ender chest until it withers away.

He spends five days teaching himself to make flower crowns. Even his best attempt is awful, nowhere near as pretty as the crowns Stress makes, but when he gives it to her, she takes off the one she was wearing and wears his until it falls apart.

He dies fighting a creeper on Grian’s behalf, and doesn’t even panic, because he trusts that however many times he dies, no matter how stupid or ignominious or revolutionary or important, Xisuma will always let him respawn.

He spends a grand total of nine diamonds to buy a single plot of land in the shopping district. He builds a cute little bench facing the sunset, with warmly glowing street lights on either side and a small garden. At the end of the bench he places a jukebox, and buys every single disc that Beef’s music shop sells, including Pigstep. He sits on the bench while Mellohi plays and watches the tiny silhouettes of his friends flying in the evening sky. Tommy looks alone on that bench, even if he seems happy, so sometimes other people stop by to sit with him. Scar declares the bench area a public park, since everyone likes it so much, and refunds Tommy his nine diamonds straight from the throne.

[votederpycausemufins]

it's been a while since I posted a chapter. Would someone like to tell me wtf is up with tumblr's post formatting? who changed it? i don liek.

Well, the first section gave me major writers block but the rest was smooth sailing. well, other than the fact i was delayed from kinda graduating. I am a very happy muffin due to that, and now you can deal with writing from someone with a gd degree, so take that or whatever.

Remember to check my pinned post to find all the chapters for this fic if you need a refresher.

and lastly since this is a hermit tommy au fic, thanks to @petrichormeraki for first creating the au.

Xisuma landed on what should have been the shopping district, but instead of the terraformed mushroom island filled with buildings, it was a plains area with creeper holes littering it and a few simple and broken builds. There was a cracked nether portal, not able to let anyone through, but still humming with magic, something that worried Xisuma more.

Tommy had been living with the Hermits for a good amount of time. At first he was terrified of all of them, Xisuma especially, but over time he was able to relax and feel safe. Tommy had also shared some of what was going on before ending up in Hermitcraft, but they all knew it had to be worse than he was describing it. But this was even worse than Xisuma thought if it was all real. The large open space meant it was easier for mobs to spawn, worsened by the lack of structures for safety. Then factor in the damaged portal, and things could get… messy.

Xisuma was used to hearing his own voice come from elsewhere, whether from recordings, or from his brother’s mouth, but neither of those should have been around. But as he approached the log walls of what fit the description of what Tommy’s home had been in exile, Xisuma still managed to hear someone talking that sounded too much like himself. And then when it stopped, there seemed to be a quiet reply from Tommy.

Though the walls of Logstedshire stood fairly well, everything inside the wall was gone, replaced with a deep hole from who knew how many explosions. And standing in the center of it all was Tommy, a copy of Xisuma right behind him.

Not wanting whatever was happening to continue, Xisuma slid down into the pit, running over to Tommy and the fake, calling out for the teen. Tommy looked up, then between the admin and his copy before the copy seemed to whisper something in Tommy’s ear.

“Hey! Get away from him!” Xisuma called out, wishing he had some way to easily separate the imposter and Tommy. Even more so when he finally reached Tommy and the teen flinched. “What were you saying to him? What did you do?”

Sure, Xisuma could be a bit of a derp, and while he knew the ins and outs of actually being an admin, in practice he wasn’t always the ‘best admin’ as everyone claimed he was, the start of season six being an example of that. But when it came to his hermits, he hated the idea of them getting hurt on his watch. Especially the younger hermits. If he had a way to keep them safe, he was going to try it. So seeing Tommy like this, especially due to a copy of himself, really hurt.

With a few quick movements, Xisuma moves Tommy to him and his own body between the teen and his copy. Tommy was covering his ears and had his eyes squeezed shut, his body tensed. Xisuma wasn’t sure how to help with any of that, too worried about making it worse, so he went to look at the other version of him again, only to find them gone.

After whirling around to look just about anywhere, the imposter seemed to really be gone, which on one hand was good to not deal with, but also worrying, as Tommy could be more likely to mistake him as the fake Xisuma. 

“Tommy. Tommy, Tommy. Can you tell me what I was just saying?” He asked while carefully pulling one of Tommy’s hands away from his ears. Sure, the easy thing to do would be to claim everything the fake said was a lie, but after one too many hermits having come to him in the past convinced him otherwise. Tommy’s former admin had isolated Tommy like this, hurt him, then claimed that they alone were Tommy’s friend. And the teen was in a situation where he was desperate enough to believe it. So in saying the imposter was lying, they could have not been and were just twisting truths.

‘ban.’ Was the only word Xisuma could hear from Tommy. He had said more, but they were too quiet to be heard. “I said I was going to ban you?” Xisuma asked to be sure, and Tommy nodded. “I would never ban you.” And then Xisuma was reminded of how this place worked. It was based on what the other person thought or believed in. On one hand, that fact hurt, but it was only because Tommy had been hurt so much already. “Other than me saying it, why would you believe that?”

Tommy flinched at the question, likely interpreting it as accusatory. He spoke again, but had to repeat himself, Xisuma finally catching the word ‘brother’. Immediately Xisuma’s thoughts went to Grian, him being the one they were after, but Xisuma still asked which brother, only to be shocked when his own brother’s name was spoken. He was quiet, trying to figure out what to say while also keeping his emotions in check. “I… you’re right. I have banned him before.”

Tommy tried to pull away from Xisuma, and while he loosened his grip, the admin didn’t let Tommy go fully. “I know, I’m sorry. Tommy, I’m sorry it’s hard to believe, but I would never ban you. Especially after what happened with my brother. He… he had been a pain since we were in season two. Trying to destroy the world again and again. The closest I got to banning him before had been trapping him in a lava pool until he left on his own.” Tommy tensed and X quickly clarified. “Xannes is immune to fire and lava. I think due to his hacking.” And that seemed to calm Tommy down a little bit.

“I said he couldn’t come back until a certain time. He wasn’t officially banned, he just followed the unofficial rules.” Xisuma then smiled for a moment. “I helped him a bit and he hung around season five for a time. Made a friend, told me a little about his own server, which I now know is Hels.” And with the mention of the somewhat alternate reality, his smile went back to a frown. Sure Tommy couldn’t see the admin’s mouth behind his helmet, but the sadness in his eyes was enough. “In season six, he was back to being evil again. And one day I couldn’t deal with it anymore. So I did what the others had suggested multiple times in the past, and finally banned him. I… didn’t know what would happen.”

“For most things outside of Hermitcraft, if I needed to ban him, I would. Done it a few times with some solo worlds. He’d of course always find a way back in. And then hermitcraft himself, he’d find loopholes in unofficial bans. But when I actually banned him, it all went wrong. Normally it sends you to what is considered your home world. If that place was the one you were banned from somehow, you would be sent to the world you frequent most after that. When I banned my brother, he was mostly living in Hels at the time, so, when I banned him, whatever natural magic tried to move him there didn’t work, trapping him in the void. I didn’t even find out until a bit after he escaped, and he was immediately upset at me. I don’t blame him for that though.”

“But because of all that, unless the situation is dire, I’m not planning to ban anyone again. And I doubt I’ll have much reason to.” At this point, Tommy had mostly calmed down, so Xisuma was able to look him in the eyes. “Sure, maybe you’re not the ‘ideal’ hermit, but who is? Doc finds a break in reality to exploit at least once a month, Mumbo’s machines create time distortions that affect anyone nearby, and Grian’s likely created more chaos than any one hermit on their own. I’d never consider banning you and if for some ungodly reason I tried what your last admin did and sent you to a place like this, the Hermits would come to visit you anyway.”

Tommy pulled away slightly. “You’re still admin. You could make them stay away.”

“Tommy, has anyone ever told you about someone named GenerikB?”

Tommy shrugged. “Maybe? Sounds sort of familiar.”

“He was the original admin. Hermitcraft is named after him like how your old world was named after Dream. But he only made it because he was jealous he wasn’t invited to a different world. Then once he was allowed there, we didn’t have an admin. And not having an admin for a while can be dangerous, so eventually I offered. I had some experience before and I especially started learned more after the fact, but from the start I was only admin out of nessity. Legally, I’m listed as admin, but I’m not the only hermit who has admin abilities in the world and I normally just act as any other player. Remember back when you first joined, you were around Grian so much, you didn’t know I was admin.”

Tommy nodded to that, but still was looking away from Xisuma. “You’re still admin… Dream didn’t have his fancy powers, but he was still admin.”

“That’s true.” Xisuma agreed. “I’m sorry. I wish I had whatever words would reassure you. To be completely honest, I’m a little hurt.” And out of the corner of his eye, Xisuma could see Tommy suddenly look back at him, likely worried he had messed up. “I’m hurt I didn’t notice that you were hurting this much. We’ve all been dealing with what scares us here, if the other things we’ve gone through are any indication. Obviously you’re still worried about me turning out like your old admin. I’m sorry I never noticed you felt that way. I don’t know if I could have ever helped it, but I want to care for all the hermits. And that includes you.”

It was quiet for a bit before Tommy spoke up again. “It’s not just ‘cuz you’re admin. The Dream SMP was just really fucked up. My friends abandoned or betrayed me, those that didn’t do either got killed, the one person who said they were my friend was pretending and manipulating me, and my family was fine to pretend I don’t exist. ‘Course I’ve been hanging out with Grian since he’s pretty pog and right up my alley with his pranks and shit, but he’s always around Mumbo and the bots. The bots always called you their grandpa, which I thought was because of the whole shit with you being admin or whatever, but then one time I heard Mumbo calling you dad.”

That last bit seemed to be news to Xisuma with how much it surprised him, and Tommy made note of that, but otherwise kept talking. “My guess is because he was around my age when he showed up or whatever. Basically grew up here. There. Whatever. But before then, I was fucking fine, I was dealing with it. But I’m practically family with them and then he spouts the bullshit of you being his dad and… suddenly you’re like family, friend and admin all shoved into one, and none of those worked out for me.”

“And you started waiting for the other shoe to drop again.” Xisuma finished for Tommy, who nodded. “If you would like, when this is all done, I can leave you alone. If you want something else, you don’t have to contact me directly, you can ask someone else to do it for you.”

“Thanks.” Tommy replied, quietly, the spoke up again in a sadder voice. “This was stupid. I was just stuck here and everyone had to go through more traumatic shit.”

“That’s not true. You’ve told us about this place. I and the others have seen how your’re- …you have a distaste for plains biomes. Just being here must have been bad enough. Not to mention whatever was going on before I arrived.”

“What about the others?”

“Well I was the only one able to get here, I think because of my being an admin, though Wilbur was able to see something on what was going on here.”

“Ghostbur was one of the people who was in e-exile with me.” Tommy explained, struggling to say the word directly.

“Ah, well, that explains that. Now, would you like to go over to the others? Or do you want to start by going elsewhere that’s quiet to calm down first?”

“Can we do the first one?” Tommy asked, and Xisuma nodded, then asking whether they wanted to fly or for him to teleport, which Tommy picked the latter option.

Xisuma took them to the replica of Cleo’s base, the zoo setting being one that Tommy enjoyed normally and seemed to find calming enough in the present. The pair took some time to ground the teen, trying to think of topics less related to the current issue, but Xisuma knew that there was still something going on, since they were still stuck in this imagined scenario’s world. “So, what do you think the others are up to?”

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“Alright, so you’ve got a lot of hybrids and shifters in Hermitcraft, right? Like you’re a creeper hybrid.” Paul spoke up. They had been waiting a while, so he had been trying his best to keep the conversation going and not make the wait seem so long.

“Yeah.” Doc agreed. “And I guess also cyborg at this point. Before you ask, the goat horn is just cosmetic like the metal one.”

“Got it. And I know Bdubs has latent genes. Anything come up yet?”

“No, not yet. He’s still holding out hope. You know I’ve taken a couple looks at him.” Doc paused, thinking something over before speaking again. “To be honest, season 5 was… a mess in more ways than one, but it was the first time something tried coming out. At least it seemed like it.”

“So something jungle or arboreal based most likely. Ever talk with Joe about it?”

“Nah, he may know more in general because of the, y’know, Herobrine thing. But he doesn’t know anything about that.”

“That’s a shame.” Then Paul went over what he knew. “Well, let’s see, so you and Bdubs are both hybrids, Joe’s a higher being. I know Beef’s just human.”

“Hey, I don’t think you can call any of us Hermits ‘just human’ man.”

“Well, it terms of the scale, yeah he’s human, unless I’ve missed everything from the past however many years.”

“Nah man, you’re right. Beef’s essentially just human.”

The two walked along a bit before Paul spoke again. “So, you’re friends with Ren, who’s a shifter, but says he’s a werewolf most of the time.”

“Yeah, he’s fine with that term. He just dealt with a lot of hybrid stigma growing up so it’s easier to have people call him a werewolf instead of going at old wounds.”

“Makes sense. Now let’s see. Grian’s obviously an avian, based on what I know he’s more on the shifter side of things?”

“Honestly, who knows man. Watcher stuff makes it weird. Normally he stays the same but it’s when that Watcher stuff happens. And apparently that happens with any Watcher, human or being.”

“Got it. Well your admin’s a voidwalker. Tommy might have latent genes from his heritage, but he might just be like Wilbur and just be human. Keralis I’m ninety percent sure is human.”

“More sure than we are.” Doc replied, half laughing.

“Zedaph’s a sheep hybrid as well as being the Reaper. He’s friends with… Tango and Impulse I believe? The first of which is netherborn and the second is… are they human?”

“Yeah Tango’s netherborn, but Impulse is actually a demon.”

“No kidding.” Paul said, a little surprised, but ended up just nodding his head, accepting it as fact. “Oh, is Biffa still around?”

“No. He left. He’s ended up more secluded than you. But it’s fine. He needed the break.”

“Well I hope he’s doing well.” Paul paused as EX walked over. “Any updates?”

“Ugh, no. Either Xisuma has forgotten, the derp that he is, or he can’t actually change it to let any of us in. So he’s stuck out there alone with Tommy to fix things.” The Xannes looked between Doc and Paul. “What are you talking about?”

“Well I thought I’d ask Doc if Bdubs’ latent genes had come out yet.” Paul explained.

“Alright?” EX just looked more confused, then turned to look towards Doc.”

“Bdubs is a hybrid, but we don’t know what of yet. Then we just started covering what all the hermits are since half of us aren’t really human.”

Xannes looked back and forth between Doc and Paul before huffing. “Fine, just leave me out of it.”

As the hels walked away, Doc chuckled. “Well sort of obvious. He and X are brothers.”

“Yeah… Well, let’s see who’s next. Oh, right. How could I forget Etho?”

“Because of the fact that no one actually knows? Even with some actual testing, I still don’t know because he manages to screw up the results.”

“I’d suggest it could be magic, but that’s, what, Scar Cub and… Her name was Stress, right?”

“Yeah. Some vex dealings and then fae lineage with Stress. She and Impulse get on well enough though.”

“Good to hear.” Then Paul counted on his fingers, knowing the number of hermits, but not recalling off the top of his head how many he had named compared to how many he knew. Then, he seemed to remember more and snapped his fingers. “Right. Cleo. Easy enough to just say zombie hybrid, right?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“Then Jevin. He’s aetherkind, right? Modded world? Swet hybrid?”

“Yeah, you know your stuff. But I mean, he’s the obvious one.”

Paul had to take a moment to realize what Doc meant. “Right! Wels. Also Aetherkind as counterintuitive that is.”

“Yeah. Named after the dimension his home doesn’t even naturally belong in. I’m sure someone out there has it the other way around.”

Paul shrugged. “Maybe. Then you’ve got TFC who’s at least partially an ancient with what I know. And everyone else except Mumbo is human.” Doc was silent for long enough that Paul doubted what he had just said. “Wait, are one of them not human as well? Sorry, Your letters always implied-”

“Mumbo’s human too.” Doc spoke, making him and Paul stare at each other like the other of them was crazy.

“No… He’s a being. Latent hybrid maybe. But I can tell something’s there.”

“But he’s not like Etho. There’s no way he’s messed with the results.”

“Then something’s up. Maybe if he had stayed in Hermitcraft, I could concede being wrong. But he’s been with us the whole time. I know he’s something. You know I know.”

“Yeah well…” Doc stood back up. “For once, I think you’re wrong.”

As Doc walked off, Paul looked over to where Mumbo stood, getting into a small argument with EX. “And I know I’m right. I just don’t know the full answer.”

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Things had not gone that well when Grian and the girls got back to the castle. Finding Aven hadn’t helped much. It was frustrating enough with him calling them ‘Grifter two’ ‘yellow Nightmare’ and ‘Wile’s kid’ the entire time, but anything he knew about The Dark was shaky at best since he was mixing up facts and sometimes sprinkled in unrelated information. They tried piecing some stuff together after the talk to learn that the place has some sort of stupid strong creature guarding the place you first showed up in, and you had to kill it to get anywhere else. How to get anywhere else was the question because then Aven started talking about a ‘Finny’ and the Warden Soul and maybe a gateway? It was practically incomprehensible, so eventually Flora was the first to give up and dragged Astrid and Grian away so they could rest for tomorrow.

They woke up bright and early, or maybe even dark and early because the sun wasn’t even up yet when the door to the room in the castle they were staying with was broken down. Astrid and Grian woke up easier than Flora did and were quicker to notice that there was someone else in the room that wasn’t supposed to be there. The lights were turned on and Grian was even more freaked out to see a dragon standing in the middle of the room. It had black eyes that contrasted against its toxic green scales that screamed danger. For a moment he wondered if this is how he was finally going to die, when he was more upset if it was going to be embarrassing as, in an almost cartoonish fashion, a tiny bipedal goat walked from behind the dragon, their legs moving in a near blur as they moved at a normal walking pace.

“H-hello?” Grian asked, not sure how to react to the current situation. He was trying to have a nice greeting but it just came off terrified. The goat seemed to notice this and turned to the dragon, waving one of their little cloven hooves, hands? Whatever they were, and the dragon suddenly shifted into a more hybrid form, scales seeming to change into a royal looking jacket and the black eyes becoming cracked sunglasses. “R-right, that’s less terrifying.”

“Slatt!” The little goat man spoke up, then continued with some loud chewing noises? Grian had gone so quickly from terrified to extremely confused he had a bit of whiplash. Some other phrases the tiny thing had were ‘Kiddie.’ ‘They thought I was gay.’ ‘Rice man.’ and also some slurping noises? Eventually they were stopped when Astrid threw her bat, er, umbrella at them, opened up the side room’s door, and brought out Jane. “Kiddie! Kiddie! Slatt!”

The goat man grabbed Jane’s hand and left the room, and the dragon hybrid nearly did too before the door shut on its own. The dragon looked back towards the trio, hand changing into claws before they were bonked on the head with a pillow by Flora. “Next time Toob wants something from us, he can ask us himself instead of sending you two.”

“We were visiting anyway. World is shut for a reset, so we’re here for the day. Slatt was very upset to learn our granddaughter was missing.”

“Ah, so you’re whipped is what you’re saying.” Flora huffed. “It was a goddamn prank. She was fine. Silski and Astrid are good enough… acquaintances that he could have shown up or gotten Toob to send a message for him., made this simpler.”

“Oh well, guess we were too rightfully concerned.”

‘I hope you choke on a sweet roll.’ Astrid signed, but it didn’t seem the dragon hybrid knew sign since he just nodded and left.

After that, Flora fixed the door and the trio tried to get back to sleep, and at the very least she was able to, but Grian and Astrid, not so much. And that was about where they were now, lying in the dim light, listening to Flora snoring. Fortunately, it was easy enough to have a silent conversation. ‘You can’t sleep either?’

Astrid frowned, not immediately signing back. It gave Grian a chance to actually look at her, since she didn’t wear her mask to bed. She was still mostly encased in her hoodie, but grian could at the very least see everything below her eyes, noticing a few freckles on her cheeks and the bridge of her nose as well as a few scars littering her face. Her lips looked a bit chewed up, but otherwise there weren’t any fresh wounds, which was slightly comforting to know those scars probably weren’t recent. ‘Not really. Not a fan of getting barged in on.’

‘You too?’

‘When your brother is the admin, no locks can keep him out.’

‘I stopped locking the door because they kept getting broken and we couldn’t afford it. Just had to live with getting barged in on.’

‘It sucks’

‘Yeah it does. Though a friend of mine managed to get something set up so we had one day to ourselves.’

Astrid just nodded, seeming to think something over before signing again. ‘My sister’s like this too.’

‘Yeah, I knew about the animal thing. What’s the sign for HYBRID?’

Astrid quickly showed Grian the signs related to hybrids before giving some clarification. ‘Vee and I are both adopted. Our dad was in a shitty situation growing up, so he ended up finding us, saw the shit we were dealing with, and decided we were his kids now.’

‘Oh, that sounds cool.’

‘Yeah. Vee mainly lived with her actual mom when she was little. Her dad was out of the picture, which sucked because her mom was fucking horrible. Liked exotic pets, decided a five year old was perfect to look after them.’

‘That sounds horrid.’

‘Yeah’ Astrid signed, nodding, ‘So she only really associates animals and their parts with danger and bad. Claws and beaks hurt, ears and nose track her, tails trip her up, wings hit her, etcetera.’

‘Yikes. At least I could hide my wings if I tried meeting her. Doesn’t seem like Flora can do that.’

Astrid shook her head, then looked over to Flora. ‘Well, we should try to get a little more rest like her.’

‘Yeah, thanks for letting me talk. Or- you know.’

Astrid gave Grian a thumbs up, then rolled over and pulled the blanket she was using back over her. Grian looked over at her for a few more seconds before doing the same and before long, he managed to get to sleep again.

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Hours later, Grian had been led to the foot of a giant temple thing. It was sort of like if someone had shoved a snow tower on top of a pyramid of ice, but also giant as hell. Though he still didn’t know how Cerus really was, one look at this place made him get some ideas. It also didn’t help that just before stepping into the perimeter of the place, both Astrid and Flora drew their weapons, leaving Grian to do the same.

As they walked through, Flora seemed the most alert, her ears swiveling every which way to catch any sound she could. Grian was also hoping that he could pick something up since based on what little he knew about hybrids, most if not all also had heightened senses of some sort. But it didn’t seem to work out when he looked in the opposite direction of the other two and only noticed one of the stone statues was different not even a second before it grabbed him.

The girls pointed their weapons at whatever Grian was being held by, but didn’t get a chance to attack before Grian started kicking and managed to hit a weak point enough to get away. Turning, he was finally able to get a good look and see it wasn’t a stone statue. Though shaped like the other statues, it was metallic, and also seemed to have some sort of pink cloak over it. Lastly it seemed to have ruby eyes, like no, it wasn’t a red color, but actual rubies as its eyes.

“Cerus.” Flora spoke up, and even though it should have been obvious, Grian was still a bit surprised that this was the person they had come to see. “Look we just owe someone and they cashed it in to make us get info out of you. We would have loved to ask Aven, but he’s…”‘No brain cells.’ “Yeah he’s got no brain cells.”

“What information could you possibly think I would give away?”

“We’ll fight you for it if need be.”

“Wait, no I don’t agree to this.” Grian spoke up.

“Smart kid. Fine,” And Then leaned down and spoke in a babying voice. “What do you think I’m gonna tell you about?”

“The Dark. You’ve been there, and my uncle opened it up again, but we don’t know what’s on the other side and Astrid’s older bother already fucked with it.”

“Older bother?” Cerus asked, a metallic eyebrow raising, making Grian wonder how that was supposed to work.

“I can’t think of a better way to insult him. Suggestions would be lovely. I stuck all my brain cells on a trio name and Wassa ended up being the one to pick it.”

“Oh. That explains it. He wants a catalyst or some growths, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah, essentially.” Grian spoke up, not sure if when Cerus turned to look at him, they were glaring or not, because the eyebrows could move, but the gem eyes didn’t change shape at all. “I had some weird shit on my wings, we got it looked at because it was mushroomy, and now he wants more as payment. Or more, he just wants to know if he’ll get permakilled to get it.”

“Oh, well that’s simple enough.” Cerus said with a slight chuckle. “I’m sure Flora-” “Fleur.” “Whatever. Your uncle fixed it properly. Nightmare was still fucking around so things would have been broken there. The only thing that would screw things up is if the place closed up again while you were in there. Respawns were working fine until that happened.”

Astrid and Flora were fine with the information and started to leave, but Grian hesitated. “Who didn’t get out? Was that Aven? Is that why he’s a ghost when no one else is?”

Cerus was taken aback for a moment before huffing. “I heard that there was supposed to be a younger Grifter about, but I didn’t realize you would be just as nosy.”

“Sorry… I was just curious.”

Cerus crossed his arms and the rubies seemed to glow for a moment, maybe in anger or something, but then he sighed. “Someone… working with us got trapped in there when the place first got locked down. That was their punishment similar to Aven’s… current situation was his punishment and my consistent residence in this world is mine.”

“You mean you can’t leave?”

“That’s correct.” Then he looked at Flora, definitely glaring this time. “You can thank a relative of yours for that. Not your grandfather.” He tacked on at the end when Flora started to open her mouth.

‘Well I think that’s all we need. Aven had enough wits about him to mention there’s a monster on the other side. We just needed respawn info.’

“Well I’m glad I could help you so you won’t just stick around bothering me. Now, leave before I make you.”

And not wanting to test the patience of the statue man, Grian grabbed Flora and Astrid and ran them out of there. “So, I guess we got what we needed?”

“I mean I think? Now I’m wondering who in my family Cerus dealt with?”

Grian’s wings twitched slightly and the mycelium grew a little quicker for a moment. Neither of the other teens noticed, instead focusing on his following question. “Does… Does the name ‘The Warrior’ mean anything? I ran into Aven before since I’m living in the castle, and he mentioned that name.”

“Ugh, yes it does.” Flora grumbled. “Great Uncle. Also death, but in his own way. He’s the chicken guy. Well, the big reason they’re a death omen.”

“Ah, I guess that makes sense. Speaking of chickens, let’s get home. I want to make sure Sally’s fed well enough. She keeps not wanting to eat normal food but instead he’s getting into people’s chests and eating icestone?”

“That’s weird. But yeah, you can figure that out, I think I want to ask Grifter about the guests we’ve got.”

‘And I should check in with dad. Meet up in a few hours?’

And the teens parted ways to meet back up later at the castle, though while Flora and Astrid did as they said, Grian didn’t make it to Sally, someone else getting there first.

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“Hey, there they are!” Techno shouted, getting everyone’s attention. They looked to see Xisuma and Tommy in the distance, walking towards them. Tommy looked a little tired, leaning against Xisuma who was helping keep the teen up, and at the very least they could see Tommy’s mouth moving sometimes, so there was probably some sort of conversation going on.

The first person to run over to the pair was Grum, who when he reached them, tackled Tommy with a hug with enough force he almost fell over. After that, Xisuma picked Tommy up and just teleported them the rest of the way to the group before helping him sit down. “So, what took you so long?”

Xisuma rolled his eyes at his brother before hugging him, which just left Xannes frozen with surprise even after the hug ended. “Tommy just needed to talk for a while and I talked with him.”

“If that’s all he needed, why are we still stuck here?” Phil asked, getting a jab in the ribs from Paul, hand enough to leave him doubled over from getting the wind knocked out of him. He was still able to flip him off before fully recovering, though it wasn’t helped by Tommy nudging him enough to cause the avian to fall over. “What the fuck was that for?”

“I’m getting a new dad.” Tommy answered, Getting a confused look from Phil once he realized Tommy was serious and not just making a joke.

As Phil started to open his mouth, Xisuma stepped in and held a hand up to silence him and then gestured to Tommy. “Give him a chance to talk.”

It took a bit before Tommy got the confidence to actually speak. Before he got any words out, Mumbo had his hands over Grum’s ears, almost sensing just how vulgar Tommy was about to get. “Look. I went through a lot of shit that you three didn’t give a fuck about. Tech was acting like a cunt from almost day one with his bullshit about anarchy as if that shit had anything to do with the crap we had to deal with growing up. Wilbur was a pussy that gave me ptsd well before that green bitch did shit to me. Like I looked up to you and you treated me like shit and then were too much of a pussy in the end to kill yourself and made dad did it first. And then Dad, you showed up because you only fucking finally paid us enough goddamn attention to figure out the bullshit we were dealing with from that green motherfucker, but you still acted like a dick and shut yourself away and didn’t give a shit when I disappeared. I’ve got no fucking clue how true it was, but I’ve heard from at least someone that you and some others thought I fucking deserved what I got. You only gave a fuck when you thought I killed myself because you suddenly realized you were down to one kid and maybe realized that maybe you could be less of a fuckface and try to fix it, only managing to screw me over more. Because because of you guys, I might have gotten an actual goddamn good family but I was so fucked over, I thought they would be just as shitty as you three. So yeah, maybe you’re technically still family, but I’m getting my own fucking peace of mind and getting Xisuma to adopt me or some shit so if you fuck things up again, I’m not stuck with you people.”

There was a bit of shocked silence as people tried to comprehend what just happened before Paul shook Phil’s shoulder a little to pull him from his thoughts. “Well… fuck, I can’t really just apologize to fix that.” Phil started but then sighed and nodded. “But fine. I’m sure if I said no, you’d still do it. I already dealt with a bit of a mess with Wil and Fundy, I don’t want to deal with another, so go ahead.”

“Well fuck that!” Grum spoke up, getting a quick scolding from Mumbo. “Family’s weird but I’m still calling you my brother like we covered before. Stop trying to be an uncle because it’s not working on me!”

Mumbo went to scold Grum again, but Tommy just laughed and ruffled Grum’s nonexistent hair. And that seemed to do it, because in a few moments, the scenery changed, and instead of the enlarged base, all but one of them found themselves standing in a sort of cross between residential and shopping districts that looked unfamiliar to most of them, but clearly overgrown. The cheerful tone immediately shifted to a more grim one as simultaneously, Paul, Mumbo and Xisuma all spoke. “This is Doc’s.”

[strawberrylemonz]

Masked Crowns

Part 16

Part 17 [CURRENT]

Part 18

@petrichormeraki @applepie1000 @artistconk @ivorylin @sydneys-sketches @snapdragonfirefly @bargledblocks

--------------------

“Theo, stop moving around! Clem, stop fucking around and quite biting my ankle! Hey, don’t use that tone with me, young lad- Clementine!”

Fundy appeared half dead as he laid on the couch, exhausted. He watched as both Theo and Clementine hounded Tommy, who was just trying to make adjustments to their formal wear. Groaning as he hoisted himself into a sitting position, Fundy rubbed his eyes as he addressed his uncle.

“Give it up, Tommy, they aren’t gonna sit still. Wilbur gave them candy this morning.”

“I know, Fundy. Jesus, what the fuck was Wil thinking?!”

“Look at the bright side, you were able to quickly make adjustments to the bot-boys.”

“Only because Grumbot and Jrumbot are saints. I swear, Grian is a better father than I am at times. Don’t fucking tell him I said that- Clementine! What the fuck?!”

Both Fundy and Tommy looked down to the two children, who both appeared to be offended. Clementine huffed as she stomped her kicking foot on the ground, her arms crossed as she glared at her father. Theo did his best to match his cousin’s level of intimidating energy, giving an annoyed looks at his father and great uncle.

“No!”

“No what?”

“Noooo!”

“Ender- Clem, I can’t understand what's wrong when you throw fits, okay? Take a deep breath, collect yourself, then tell me what’s wrong.”

“Hnnnn”

Tommy frowned as he stared at the younger girl, who seemed to grow more irritated by the second. He knew her, though, could read her body language perfectly. She wasn’t angry or irritated, she was hurt and upset. Kneeling down, he held his hands out to his daughter, who glared at them in fury. After realizing her father’s hands weren’t going to combust, she sighed as she placed her tiny hands in Tommy’s bigger ones. Slumping her shoulders in defeat, she frowned down at her feet. Giving a frown of his own, Tommy lowered his head to try and make eye contact with Clementine, to no avail.

“Hey, look at me. Please?”

He watched with slight appeasement as she tilted her head up, her eyes slowly meeting Tommy’s. He gave her a hesitant smile, gently rubbing her tiny hands in a comforting manner as he did so.

“What’s wrong, little moth?”

Clementine didn’t talk much, opting to use her growls and grunts to communicate. This, however, wasn’t a situation where that form of communication would help things run smoothly. Moving her eyes from her dad’s face down to their joined hands, she frowned as her bottom lip began to quiver.

“I’m bad.”

“...What?”

“No good. Bad. Not nice. Not calm.”

As he stared at the sad expression resting on the girl’s face, Tommy suddenly felt small once again. He felt the same way he did when his father complained about him, not realizing his youngest was listening. He remembered the self doubt he felt and the hurt in his chest when his dad would compare him to his older brothers. It had fucking hurt when he was a kid, and it still did. And now? Now he was doing the same to his daughter. He was the fucking worst.

“No-Clementine, that isn’t true. Fuck, I- That’s not what I- Listen-”

Tommy sat down completely as he leaned forward, peering into the sad eyes of his daughter. Fuck, who knew being a parent would hurt his heart so fucking much? He was in his fucking feels at the moment, and it was all because of the toddler that stood before him. He was so scared of hurting her, of giving her reasons to despise and disown him as her father. He had to fix this, he needed to.

“The day I found you, I felt a piece of me return. It’s okay that you’re not like your cousins. You know what? I’m glad you’re not like them. You’re you, and you are being the best you there is. You’re not bad, Clementine, you’re fucking lovely. Don’t ever doubt yourself, okay? You’re a fucking badass, a brilliant one, too. I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to compare you to your cousins.”

The small smile that graced Clementine’s lips was enough to fill Tommy with relief. Pulling her into a hug, he smiled as he felt her cling onto his shirt for comfort. Looking to the side, he hummed as he motioned for his great nephew to join in on the hug. Theo, who was quietly watching it all, happily ran into the hug, pulling his father along with him. So much had happened in such little time that Tommy forgot that kids were easily overwhelmed. From discovering new family, the park’s opening, house renovations, and then personal schedules, it was too much for the two to handle. They got along and enjoyed their cousins, but Tommy and Fundy had forgotten that they needed more than just that. They needed reassurance that they were enough.

“Now, can you two please let Tommy make final adjustments to your outfits? We have a ball to attend to, after all.”

--------

Attending the ball was truly a blast from the past. Tommy snickered as Kristin gushed about the matching outfits her grandbabies and youngest son were wearing, alongside with her own. Most of the members from the Dream SMP just gawked in silence as Lani, who was matching with both Drista and Tubbo, twirled and bragged about how wonderful of a designer and tailor Tommy was.

“Tommy made those?”

“Yup! He sure did!”

“But they’re so...elegant.”

“Oi! Fuck you!”

Laughter erupted from the group as the music played in the background. As the group conversed among one another, pairs began to break off to dance.

“Pa!”

Tommy peered down at Clementine, who held her hands up expectedly. Letting out a laugh, he scooped her up into his arms, smiling as she giggled with every bounce her father caused with his laughter. She smiled brightly at him as he fixed the tiara on her head. She laid her head on his shoulder as he swayed along to the music, both content. After a moment, Tommy felt his daughter’s head lift from his shoulder.

“Cousins.”

He turned to follow her line of sight to see Theo, Grumbot and Jrumbot all waving at him, their suits and hair fixed appropriately for the occasion. Returning the wave, he smiled at his daughter, setting her down with a nod.

“Yeah, you four go dance and have fun. Be careful.”

He couldn’t help but smile as her curls bounced as she squealed in excitement. Giving Tommy a hug, she quickly grabbed a hold of her cousins and rushed to the dance floor, smiling as her cousins argued as to which pair should dance with who. As he watched his only child scurry away with her cousins, he couldn’t help but sigh. The feeling of a hand on his forearm caught his attention. Turning to the side, he saw Tubbo smile at him, Lani and Drista right behind him.

“C’mon, let’s go dance.”

----------

Tommy and Lani were doing their best to not disrupt their dancing with silent wheezes of laughter, they really were. It’s not their fault, everyone was making it so hard for them!

“It’s like he’s dancing with Mount Everest!”

“Holy shit, this is hilarious.”

The pair watched in amusement as Tubbo bossed an awkward, but happy, Ranboo around the dance floor. The height difference in itself was enough to make the sight laughable.

“Tommy, over there.”

Following Lani’s line of sight, Tommy damn near belted out laughter as a grumpy Drista was stuck paired with one of the park’s guests, who would not shut up about her relation to Dream.

“Poor girl, losing her sanity.”

“She’s about to break, it’s fucking hilarious. Should have given her a fork.”

“We’re here to dance, Tommy, not commit a felony.”

“Rich coming from a girl with multiple knife pockets installed into her dress.”

“You installed them!”

“You commissioned them!”

The two began to bicker like the besties they were as their friends and family danced around them. Phil and Kristin danced and twirled as they shared whispers to each other, their smiles brighter than ever. Wilbur and Techno were awkwardly dancing with one another, their empty insults to one another growing louder the longer the brothers were with each other. Grian was teaching Grumbot the proper way to waltz, Bad and Skeppy goofingly twirling around them. Clementine and Jrumbot happily danced off beat, no one even daring to teach them the proper moves. Quackity, Karl and Sapnap laughed as they spun around together, the three pulling George in from the sidelines. Just as Tommy was about to make a comment, a sharp elbow jabbed his side.

“Ow! Lani, what the fuc-”

“Shh! Look!”

“What are you-”

“Just look, it’s important!”

And important it was. There, standing at the food tables, was Fundy. He wasn’t alone, though, not at all. There, making the hybrid blush and stutter, stood a guy. Lani and Tommy exchanged knowingly looks, before dashing over to the nearest hiding spot.

“Move over!”

“No, you!”

“Shh, listen!”

----------

“Go away.”

Theo frowned as the words left his mouth. He crossed his arms as he glared up at the emotionless mask before him, the face behind it hidden well. That didn’t stop Theo from being able to read body language, and the vibes he was getting weren’t necessarily hostile, but they weren’t welcoming as well.

“I just wanted to get a good look at you, to know you. Makes sense, doesn’t it? You are my son after all.”

The word sounded so wrong coming out of the unseen mouth. Son. As far as Theo was concerned, Dream was no father to him. His only dad was Fundy, and Fundy was all he needed for a parent.

“Your crown looks very nice, did you design it yourself? And I like your suit. I noticed that it matches Fundy’s perfectly. In fact, both of your crowns match perfectly with one another.”

Theo wasn’t planning on responding to any of the comments, not that he’d have to try. Dream just didn’t seem to catch the child’s drift, continuing to talk despite the boy not responding. 

“You have my hair color, it looks good on you. You’re obviously a shapeshift, like Fundy. Have you tried shifting to your more humanoid form? Oh, your eyes. You have-”

“My eyes.”

He may have been young, but Theo wasn’t daft. He knew that Dream (he would not call him father) was the reason for him having to live in the burrows up until then. He didn’t know what all Dream did, but he knew that it was enough to make his papa and uncle Tommy hurt very badly. He wasn’t going to let Dream see him with his guard down, not around him. He just stood and glared at the older man, who seemed to not have taken a hint to the child’s body language. Theo just confidently stood his ground as he watched Dream kneel before him, reaching over to gently pat his head, not seeming to care about pushing the crown around. Theo was quick to catch his crown, which fell off his head the moment Dream pushed it off. Much to Theo’s relief, the unwelcomed form of affection didn’t last long.

“Ow!”

“Dickhead! Dickhead!”

Dream pulled his arm back as Theo hid a laugh behind his hand. Standing in confidence was Clementine, who had just bitten Dream’s hand. She just growled and hissed at Dream, taking a protective stance in front of Theo as Grumbot and Jrumbot stood by his side, ready to defend their cousin. Dream just rubbed his hand, before pointing at the emerald jewel dangling from the girl’s necklace.

“I only know one person with an emerald cut exactly like that. You must be Tommy’s brat. What did he name ya again? Clementine? Figured. I guess it’s true after all, trouble attracts trouble. Don’t tell me that you’re just as problematic as your dad-”

“Shut up!”

Theo huffed as he yelled at Dream, who wasn’t expecting such an outburst from the quiet child. Grumbot narrowed his eyes as the man, pulling Theo behind him as he did so. Jrumbot, on the other hand, just mocked the masked warrior.

“-meanie mask man!”

“Fine! We’ll talk once you’ve all calmed down. I’ll see you around, Theo.”

Dream let out an annoyed huff as he walked off, giving a half-wave to Theo. Once he was completely out of sight, Theo was mobbed by his concerned cousins, who were quick to assess him. Clementine began to sniff for any off scents while Jrumbot clung onto his arm, whines escaping his artificial mouth as his older brother inspected Theo. Whilst checking for any possible injuries, Grumbot began to question the younger boy.

“Were you hurt?”

“No.”

“Did he threaten you?”

“Nuh uh.”

“Well, is he as big of a jerk as Uncle Tommy said he was?”

Theo blinked a few times before laughing, causing the worried faces of his cousins to morph into confusion. After a moment, an amused look graced Grumbot’s features. Clementine and Jrumbot only continued to watch in confusion. Finally calming down, Theo responded with a nod.

“Yeah, he is. He tried acting like he was my dad.”

“We should tell your dad.”

“Are you kidding me?! He’s talking to a potential dad! Let’s just go bother Uncle Tommy.”

“No! Spy. Uncle Grian!”

“I’m sure dad won’t mind us bothering him. Let’s get going.”

Making sure they all had their belongings, the four children scurried off towards Grian. As they happily spoke with the father of the bot boys, Theo felt a chill down his spine. Turning around to peer behind him, he noticed a familiar white mask. If he clung onto his uncle a bit tighter than usual, Grian didn’t mention.

:)