#heres this stupid thing I thought of like a week ago
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CRUSH | ACT ONE: HOW CAN I MAKE IT OK?
pairing: natalie scatorccio/reader
summary: A frustrating vending machine and a stolen BuzzBall draw you further into Natalie Scatorccioâs chaotic orbit.
wc: 5180
warnings: (TWO) uses of y/n im SORRY IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN, reader is a bumbling idiot again whoops, petty theft, brief!reader alcohol consumption, slut-shaming(?)
a/n: am i allowed to say that this photo of sophie just does things to me or nah
ao3 / masterlist
PREVIOUS - ACT ONE: CIGARETTE DAYDREAMS
NEXT - ACT ONE: DO I WANNA KNOW? (WIP)
The following week seems to drag on like any other, and, much to your surprise, your parents didn't question your absence from AP Chem that afternoon you ditched with Natalie. That had you wondering, could you do it again and get away with it? You've spent the majority of your life building us this carefully crafted personaâone that not a single person would guess would ever act out. If you did it again, would anyone raise an eyebrow at you? Would people believe whatever lie you fed them? That you were sick, had a headache, car troubles?
Either way, the thoughts linger. But you don't see Natalie again until the end of the week, loitering near the vending machines after school, throwing her hands in the air in frustration and kicking one of them. "God fuckingâ!" She groans and kicks the machine again before turning around and leaning back against it. "Stupid fucking piece of shit vending machineâŠ"
You hesitate, standing a good few feet away from her as she mutters something under her breath and slams her fist against the vending machine's glass. She looks just about ready to rip the machine apart.Â
You hesitate, the door to the parking lot just a few steps away. Maybe you should keep walking, let her deal with the vending machine on her own. But then her eyes catch yours, and itâs already too late to slip away unnoticed.
âYou just gonna stand there, or are you gonna help me?â she calls out, a teasing edge to her voice. She gestures dramatically to the machine, like it owes her something. Which, in a way, it does.
You step closer to her and the offending vending machine, "What happened?" "What happened?" Natalie scoffs, "What happened is this piece of shitâ" She kicks the vending machine again, "vending machine stole my cash and didn't even spit out my fucking M&M's." She glances around, eyes landing on a fire extinguisher, eyes lighting up like she just got an idea.
"Nope!" You say immediately, fishing some loose change from your pocket, "Just⊠here. How much is it? Two dollars?" You place down a handful of quarters and dimes into her hand. "Just punch in for another one. Please don't break the machine." You glance around as if someone's watching the interaction, but the halls are empty.
Natalie stops and looks down at the change you've given her, back at you, the change, you, the change, then shrugs and slots the coins into the machine. "Fuckin' rich peopleâŠ" Which seems to be her way of saying, "Thank you for not letting me break the vending machine because the last thing I need is another suspension," but what do you know?
You watch her stuck M&M's fall to the vending area alongside the bag behind it, meeting again at the bottom of the machine. "Fuck yeah." Natalie grins as she sticks her hand in, pulling out two bags of M&Ms.Â
Naturally, you assume that Natalie will give you one of the bags.
Naturally, you're proven wrong as she stuffs one of the bags into her pocket, ripping the other open and dumping them right into her mouth. "Mmfanks, princess." She grins as she chews, and for a moment, you wonder if she's ever learned not to talk with her mouth full, but you quickly get your answer when she keeps talking. "Y'should be in class."Â
You glance around, and that's when you realise why the halls are so empty. The bell rang a good five minutes ago. "Damn." You murmur, quickly stepping back and glancing toward your next class, when you hear a noise of disapproval coming from behind you.
"Where y'going?" She says, mouth no longer full of M&Ms. "You should just skip the rest of that day. Already running a little late, what's just⊠not going?" She shrugs.
You make your own noise of disapproval, "No, I⊠I would be skipping another chemistry class with Mr. Carr." You fidget, glancing between the direction of your class and Natalie.
"OkayâŠ" She drawls, "Did he care last time?"Â
"UhmâŠ" You shift awkwardly, staring at the floor now, "noâŠ"
She hums, popping a single candy into her mouth, "Did your parents?"
You don't answer thatâbecause the answer was also a no. You gave some excuse to your parents about not feeling well that block, and they believed you. And you're pretty sure you could just get the notes from today's class from that guy that sits across from youâŠ
"Exactly." Natalie's voice cuts through the quiet, "You don't have any reason not to! No one gave a fuck. And you're, like, smart." She gestures at you, "I'm sure you can handle missing one class without your GPA dropping or whatever."
You open your mouth to retort, then click your tongue and cross your arms, a pout on your face. Usually, you could probably find some retort to that. But⊠maybe a part of you has already made your mind up for you.
"I⊠really shouldn'tâŠ" You murmur, trying to convince yourself that you should go to class.
"Yeah, you should." She rolls her eyes, tossing another M&M into her mouth, "Come on. Live a little. You keep letting thisâŠ" She gestures to nothing, "Fear control you; you're never actually gonna live!" Natalie laughs to herself, "Dude. Princess. Come on. What's one class? At the end of the day?"
You're about ninety percent sure she used that logic last time.
That being said, you've never been that good at putting your foot down before.
You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose, "Dammit." With a resigned shake of your head, you look up at Natalie, who has a smug grin on her face as if she already knew your answer. "Fine."
"Mm, try not to sound so excited, yeah?" She pops another chocolate into her mouth and starts walking to the exit, clearly expecting you to follow.Â
"Do you ever wait for people?" You whisper-yell as you walk after her, taking quick strides to catch up.Â
"Nope." She pops the p, "If you wanna come, you'll come. If you don't, you won't." She shrugs and actually offers you the bag of M&Ms. "Want one?"
"Oh, uh, sure." You stick your hand out and she dumps a few chocolates into her hand before she throws the doors to the school open and walks out into the open air, taking an exaggerated inhale.
"Ahhh, air. See, this is what you miss when you stay cooped up in school all day, Princess." She grins smugly to herself, tossing the candy wrapper in a garbage can as the two of you walk. "Fresh air and the smell of cigarettes." And, before you can say something about not being able to smell cigarettes, she fishes a pack of smokes out of her pockets, placing one between her teeth and bringing a lighter to the end.
"Do you ever not smoke?" You ask, more to yourself than her, and (affectionately) roll your eyes. "Nope." She pops the p again, "Always got a cancer stick in my mouth." She grins to herself as if she's proud of herself for that fact.Â
"But it's a nasty habit." She adds, after a beat of silence, "I don't even remember when I stopped smoking for "fun" and started smoking because I had to." An exhausted sigh leaves her, and she wipes the nonexistent sweat on her brow with her thumb.Â
Silence follows after she shares that piece of informationâas if it's the first time she's admitted that out loud. An unreadable expression crosses her features, although you're sure you can detect her underlying unease with admitting that.
"Where are we going this time?" You clear your throat, trying to ease the sudden tension that appeared. "Back to the skatepark?" Nat shakes her head as she ashes the cigarette, "Nah. I need a Redbull or something. Got shit I need to do tonight, and I might as well have been hit by a train. Fuckin' exhausted." You glance at her as she says that, looking for signs of exhaustion, but find nothing visible. Maybe it's the fact she looks like a raccoon, the bravado she carries, or just⊠her, but she seems fine. Maybe she just hides it well.
"Honoured to, uh, join you on this very meaningful adventure." You say sarcastically, which earns a snort from Natalie.
"God, you're such a dork. It's cute." You find yourself flushing at the compliment despite yourself, finding yourself extra embarrassed for reacting like that, especially considering that she said it sarcastically, but you can't help yourself. "Yeah, whatever." You mumble, which earns a snort from Natalie.Â
"An embarrassed dork." She remarks without even looking at you, a low chuckle falling from her lips. "Now that's cute."
Oh, God. Your cheeks feel like they're on fire. Simple compliments shouldn't be getting to you the way they are, and she seems to know and bask in this fact. She lets a shit-eating smirk don her face, but you're lucky enough she chooses not to embarrass you further.
"Hey," Natalie speaks up after the two of you walk in silence for a few blocks, "Y'know, thinking about it, I don't think I ever got your name." She glances at you, "Mind spilling a secret to me?"
"Oh, uh, yeah. It's y/n." "Hmm." Natalie hums, "Right, right. That is⊠y/n is a name for sure. A good name! But I think I prefer Princess. Therefore, I will keep calling you that." She says, seeming overly pleased with herself.
"Right." You mumble, wondering why you thought there would be any other outcome to this conversation. "Don't take it personally." She muses, taking a drag from her cigarette, "Princess just suits you." A beat, then she blinks a few times and almost bashfully adds: "In a good way. Obviously. Not in aâŠ" She gestures with her free hand to nothing, which she seems to do a lot. "Not in a "you're an uptight bitch" typa way, alright?" A small crack in the facade, genuine bashfulness from the woman you swore was never anything but sure. But, it's gone as quickly as it appeared as she clears her throat. "Whatever. Just⊠don't take it personally." She waves her hand dismissively.Â
"Thanks." You murmur, a small, excited grin on your face as you walk beside her, feeling like some type of schoolgirl interacting with her crush for the first time at the⊠almost compliment.Â
"Yeah. Whatever." She responds, pointedly avoiding your gaze for the rest of the walk.
âŠwhich, in all honesty, isn't that long. Maybe another minute before you're walking into a QuickChek.
The store has seen better days, without question. The floors are all scuffed, the air conditioning is making this weird creaking sound that honestly scares you a little bit, and the clerk looks like they couldn't honestly give a single fuck about anything. A tornado could blow through the shop, and they wouldn't care.
Natalie seems to already know where she's going, walking with a purpose to the far left corner of the store. She walks her fingers across the fridges that line the walls, humming an imaginary tune to herself as she does. She stops at a particular door and swings it open, grabbing herself a RedBull before pausing to look at you, "You getting anything?"
"Oh!" You fumble for a moment, grabbing a water bottle that was in your backpack and waving it briefly, "I'm all good." You take a small sip for effect, but it just earns a slightly confused look from her before she shrugs and closes the fridge.
As the two of you wait in line at the register (the old man in front of you has about thirty lottery tickets he wants checked), you let out a gentle laugh when you see a BuzzBall sitting on the counter.
"Y'know, I've always wondered what they taste like." You nod towards the drink, "Does it live up to the hype?" You muse out loud, "Chili Mango?"
The blonde snorts, "Nah. It's blown way out of proportion." She shakes her head as the guy in front of you two complains about not winning anything on another ticket. "I'm easy for coolers. I'll takeâŠ" She gestures to nothing, "A Mike's Hard or Smirnoff Ice. Maybe a Four Loko if I'm feeling interesting. But BuzzBallsâŠ" She shrugs and slides her drink towards the clerk as the lottery ticket guy walks off, "I dunno. Overrated."
"Huh." You consider that piece of information as you look at the offending beverage.Â
You don't find much time to consider it until you hear a "Dude, what the fuck?" from Natalie. You glance over at her, and she's glaring daggers into the clerk. "I gave you a five. Where's my change?"
"Nope. You gave me two ones." He shrugs, glancing at his phone, "Must have remembered wrong."
"Dude." She makes a fist with one of her hands in frustration, but it doesn't look like she wants to punch him; instead, she seems like she's just trying to restrain herself. "I get that this job probably pays like shit, but what do you get skimming three dollars off a fuckin'... high schooler?" She makes a slightly confused expression at the "high schooler" comment, as she immediately realises that it's a stupid argument, but it's too late to change it now.
"I didn't take anything from you." He rolls his eyes, "Jesus. Calm down. Just, like, check your pockets, or whatever." He rolls his eyes again, clearly not giving a shit. Natalie, on the other hand, looks pissed. But she knows better than to argue about something like this with a clerk who would probably press the panic button if she tried anything. "Fine." She glares at the clerk a moment longer before her eyes flash to the BuzzBall you were looking at previously, smirks, grabs it from the countertop without fuss, and walks out the door. If the clerk notices, he doesn't say anything. So, you simply just skitter out after Natalie.
She's still walking away, jaw clenched, so it takes you a few seconds to catch back up with her. "Dude, whatâ"
She stops walking, faces you, presses the drink into your hand, and keeps walking. "There. Now you can try a BuzzBallâsince you wanted to."Â
"Wait, no, I'm just⊠what happened in there?"
"The asshole stole my change." She mutters as she cracks the RedBull open. "So I was just getting my money's worth." A large swig from the can, "Like, steal from the rich old guy making you scan hundreds of lottery tickets, and not the chick who has almost her entire outfit thrifted from Good-fucking-Will."
She huffs, then shakes her head, "Whatever. Have a drink. Tell me if it was worth it."
You hesitate, looking between her and the beverage, but eventually sigh. "DammitâŠ" You crack the tab on the lid and take a long sip. When you lower the container back down, you roll the drink around on your tongue a little bit before frowning. "This is just⊠okay, I guess."
Natalie laughs. Low and genuine and it makes her eyes crinkle. "Well, yeah, I told you that. Glad you're realising it now, though." She shoots you an easy grin and resumes the path she's taking.
You walk alongside her for a few minutes in relative silence, sipping on the drink while she smokes a cigarette and takes the odd swig from her RedBull, seemingly lost in thought.
After a few more sips of the BuzzBall, you let out a soft laugh. âYou really just took it and walked out. Thatâs⊠kind of insane.â
Natalie snorts, "Relax, Princess. It's just a BuzzBall. Small potatoes. 's not like I boosted a car or anything." She grins to herself, "Unless, of course, this is your first brush with crime?" She muses in a sing-song voice, "I may succeed in corrupting you yet."
You scoff to hide your blush, "Okay. Whatever. I'm just sayingâŠ" You shrug and kick a pebble, "What if he, like, called the cops or something?"
"Cops have better things to do than chase down two high schoolers for a single drink." She snorts, "Trust me. I would know."Â
You cock an eyebrow at her, "My bad, forgot you were a delinquent. Of course, you have all the information on how cops in this town act." The tone is teasing, and⊠wow. You've been surprising yourself a lot lately, haven't you? Teasing like this is⊠new. Very new. You think you like it.
And, for what it's worth, Natalie seems to like it, too.
"Mm, well, someone has to teach the nerd how to live, yeah?" She takes a swig from the can, "Might as well be the delinquent on first-name basis with the entire police population of Wiskayok." You roll your eyes fondly, "Yeah, no one better to teach me, I suppose."
"Exactly. Who better than the adrenaline junkie?"
"Adrenaline junkie?" You parrot, "I suppose that sense. I'm assuming your driving record is worse than your rap sheet?"
That earns you a laugh from the blonde, "Oh, by far. If I ever got caught, anyway. Listen, Princess, if you're gonna go double the speed limit, you gotta learn how to avoid radar. Plus, no one thinks that the forty-year-old Ford Ranger is goin' that fast. It's all about stealth." A wide grin rests on her face, smug and sure. "I got a lot I could teach you, Princess. 'lot I could sell you on."
"Nancy Reagan has taught me to Just Say No to drugs, thank you very much." You muse with a teasing lilt, "You cannot sell me on that."
"That's the first place your mind goes to? Drugs?" She laughs again, throwing her head back. "And Nancy Reagan? Jesus. How old are you?" You notice her eyes crinkle when she laughs, and the dimple on her cheek is more prominent. A careless sort of happiness that almost makes you envious for some reason.
"Old enough to remember the good ol' days before the youth of America were corrupted by these goddamn liberalsâŠ" You say in your best "old person" voice.
Natalie keeps laughing, "Oh my God, you are a fucking loser!" And, despite the words sounding harsh, you can tell she doesn't mean them in a cruel way. It's⊠affectionate, almost. You'd probably be mildly offended if anyone else had said it like that. But, hey. Maybe you're just too whipped to care right now.
When the laughing settles down, you walk alongside her in relative silence, occasionally glancing her way as she alternates between taking sips from her energy drink and drags from her cigarette.
The two of you continue down the street, the quiet moments between conversations seemingly ten times easier than the previous time you were alone. Natalie doesnât seem like the type to enjoy the silence, but with her focus on finishing her cigarette and you sipping at the nearly empty BuzzBall, itâs easy to forget how quickly time is passing.
"So," You finally ask, "Have a habit of convincing people to skip classes for convenience store runs and abandoned skatepark trips, or am I just special?"
"You tell me, Princess." She grins at you, "You feel special?"
You roll your eyes, "Am I supposed to feel special, Natalie?"
Natalie glances at you, cigarette perched between her fingers. âYou know, you donât have to call me Natalie. Feels weird coming from you.â
"What, you want me to call you "Princess" now, too?"
"Nah." She laughs, low and warm. "Nat's fine. Save my legal name for my mom or the next cop that wants to book me, yeah?" She finishes with a gentle nudge of her shoulder against yours, "Seriously. No one calls me Natalie."
You raise your hands up in defense, "Alright, alright." You return her laugh, "Then let me ask again, Nat, am I supposed to feel special?"
Nat hums as she considers this, moving her head from side to side in mock thought. "You know what? Yes. I think you should feel special, Princess. Not only do you get to spend time with me, but you also get your own nickname. Pretty cool, huh?" An easy grin slides across her face, "So, yes. Honoured, special, privileged, fortunate⊠whatever SAT words you wanna use for it. But the answer is yes."
"Alright." You say again, "Then I feel special, Nat."
"Nice." She smiles and nods to herself, taking another swig from her can as she does, "Mission accomplished." That smile slowly slips into something goofier, and for another moment, you see the girl behind the bravado. Sure, maybe you're reading too much into it, but⊠you're starting to get the idea that she isn't this "untouchable hardass criminal" half the school makes her out to be.
"Wait," You glance around, "You⊠took us back to school? Thought you wanted to ditch?" Nat shakes her head and gestures to an alleyway between two school buildings, leading you between them.
"We are ditching, and we will remain ditching." She puts the butt of her cigarette into her now empty RedBull can, "I got soccer practice after school. So, yeah, I gotta be here even if I'm ditching class."
"Huh." You lean against one of the walls, "You're really into the whole soccer thing, huh?"
Natalie scoffs, "Yeah, shocker, isn't it? The deadbeat actually cares about something other than drugs."
You frown at that, "That wasn't what I meant. I justâŠ" You sigh, "I meant it in a "tell me more" way, not a "I'm making fun of you" type of way."
"Oh." She seems genuinely surprised that you're curious but nods after a moment's hesitation. "Right. Well, uh. I started playing in middle school." The blonde can't seem to meet your eyes as she speaks, and you swear you can see the faintest touch of red on her cheeks. "Kept playing, I guess. Worked my way up to varsity." She holds her arms open to show off her varsity jacket. "Coach thinks we have a good chance of going to states this year, and states is just one step closer to nationals."Â
"Damn. So you've been⊠you must be really good then, yeah? Are you a starter?" You know jack shit about sportsâif you're being honest with yourself. You're just throwing around words you think are relevant to the situation.
Nat nods, a sardonic grin on her face. "Yeah. A starter." She shakes her head and lets out a gentle huff, "Varisty starting winger." A beat of confusion on your part, "Means that it's my job to get the ball to the player who takes the shot, Princess. I'm basically the assist hound. Or, well, that's what Coach wants me to play as, anyway. Keeps saying some shit about how I got "good ball-handling skill" and "the ability to weave through tight spaces" or whatever." She shrugs, acting like that isn't great praise to receive from your coach.
"Wow, so you are really good." You give her an encouraging smile, "That's cool."
"Yeah," Nat grunts, "I guess. Beats doin' nothin'."
"I dunno. I think it is pretty cool. It's one thing to play it casually; another to be good enough to make it to varsity in high school, and another to win nationals."Â
"Woah, woah," Nat puts her hands up in defense, "Rewind a little, yeah? We haven't even gone to regionals yet, let alone states." She runs her free hand through her messy hair, "But I appreciate the⊠unwavering support, or whatever." She glances away again and scuffs her shoes on the pavement, looking uncharacteristically timid.
You get the idea this girl isn't used to receiving praise of any sort.
Interesting.
But, like most cracks in the facade, it's gone before you have time to dwell on it. "That mean I can expect to see you cheering me on in the stands when soccer season starts, Princess?" She asks, taking a step towards you, close but not quite in your personal space.Â
"Uh, well, uh, actually, uh, Iâ" She's not even being particularly seductive. If anything, it just looks like⊠she's stepping closer to hear you better, or so she doesn't have to be so loud. Yeah. Something like that. "Sure, I, uh, I just don't know when soccer season starts." You mumble while getting the feeling that your face is gonna be red a lot around her. "So, I'll, uh, I guess, need your schedule or something. Or whatever." You shrugâlike the flustered bastard you are.
"Right." Natalie scoffs and fishes her phone out of her pocket, unlocks it and hands it to you, "Throw your number in there, yeah? I'll text you the soccer schedule for this season."
Oh, wow.
If you were a flustered bastard before, you might as well be a complete mess now.
You stare at her phone for a solid five, maybe ten, seconds in silence.
"Right." You grab her phone, and with wide eyes, you create a new contact.Â
You return the phone to her, and she immediately sends you a text, "There. You get my message?" You grab your own phone out of your pocket and check to see if you have any new messages, and you do.Â
"BuzzBall." You read the message back to her, "Yeah, I got it."
"Cool." Nat grins and shoves her phone into her jacket pocket as she rocks back on her heels, seemingly debating on asking a question.
She never gets the chance to.
"Oh, shit! Look who it is!" One of the two guys walking past the alley you and Nat had ducked into chirp, "The resident burnout! Suck any dick, recently?" A cruel laugh leaves his lips as he nudges his taller friend, "Or, hey, maybe you've been sucking on something else?" He looks at you with a grin. "Find a new bitch to fuck?"
"Nah, this one don't look her type." The taller one chimes in, "She only into the bitches she gets in juvie and older guys, yeah?" They both laugh at that, seemingly finding themselves very funny.Â
You had heard the rumours. Of course you had. Who hadn't? But it was one thing to hear a rumour and another to see it yelled at in her face from across an alleyway. When you glance over at Nat to see her reaction, you're⊠almost shocked to see an expression of hurt on her face.Â
The hurt doesn't last long, and you quickly find seething anger taking its place.Â
You glance back at the guys as one of them speaks up again, "I mean, hey, if you ever want a dick to suck, mine is available!" The taller guy laughs, nudging his friend. "Come on! The seat in my Beamer goes all the way back!" They both laugh again.
"Natâ" You turn back to look at her and see a deep scowl on her face as she reaches behind her, into her waistband. You really aren't sure what she's about to grab, but you really don't want to know, either. "Woah!" You laugh nervously, "O-okay! Haha! Wow!"Â
The guys seem to notice the moment of her hand, and although the taller one seems to falter slightly, the other doesn't care in the slightest. "Oh, come on, Scatorccio! Don't wanna get thrown back in juvie for assault, do you?" He laughs, "Or maybe you do! Find yourself a new girlfriend for the winter!"
Natalie's jaw tightens, and her wrist twitches, clearly debating whether this is worth her time.
"Come on, burnout! You packing heat or something? Let us see it! Is it the same gun you used to rob that corner store last year?" He continues laughing, but the taller one is not having it, discreetly tugging on his friends backpack and mumbling something.
"Natalie." You laugh nervously again, this time reaching out to gently grab her wrist as you see her hand move again, "Come on. It's not worth it." You hesitate a moment, and your awkward smile drops, "Please."
She tenses further at your touch, but the next time you look up at the two guys, you see the taller one clearly trying to leave. At least one of them has some sort of self-preservation instincts. Seemingly realising that they're going, her jaw immediately loses its tension.Â
A moment of very tense silence passes between you, your hand still on Natalie's wrist, her hand still reaching for something in her waistband. Luckily (or unluckily), she breaks the silence with a loud, annoyed scoff.
"Christ, relax." She pulls away from you, audibly and visibly upset. "It was a fucking knife, Princess." She pulls out a switchblade and waves it once, "You seriously think I would carry a fucking gun or something on me?"
"I didn't know what you were carrying! Gun, knife, machete, fucking⊠nunchucks, I don't know! I just didn't wanna see you get into a fight!" You run your hands through your hair nervously, "Especially not with two guys double your size!" "First off," The blonde scoffs, putting the knife away again, "I don't need someone looking out for me, alright? If I choose to fucking get into a fight with two douchebags, that's on me. Second off, why do you even care? Huh? You don't even know me! We have hung out twice!"
"Maybe I'm just a decent person who doesn't want to see people get into fights?!" You counter, growing increasingly confused as to why she's getting mad at you now. "It's not that I agree with anything they said, Natalie! I justâŠ" You throw your hands up in frustration.Â
You do care about her, as stupid as it sounds. Despite not knowing her that long, you do care about her safety, and you really don't want to see her get hurt right now.
"I just don't want to see you get hurt, okay?" You say, softer this time. "Okay? I know it really isn't my place; I just⊠don't want you to get hurt, okay?"
Natalie's bravado seems to falter at that, and you see a flicker of guilt cross her face for a moment before it's gone, and she looks away with a scowl. "Yeah, well⊠whatever."
There are a very tense few moments of silence before Natalie seemingly can't take it, and she shakes her head with a grunt. "Whatever. I gotta get going. Like I said, shit to do tonight." She tosses the empty RedBull into the nearby trash can and makes to leave, but hesitates for a moment.
Turning her head slightlyâbut not properly facing youâshe offers her parting words. "For the record," she starts, her voice soft, "you really aren't that bad, Princess. I'll make a burnout of you yet." Then she's off again, leaving you alone against the side of the school.
You're pretty sure that's a compliment. That being said, you don't really know with her, but you'll take it as a positive for now. What is it with her and leaving with ambiguous comments?Â
Ugh.
When did relationships get so complicated?
a/n: ok MAYBE im taking some slight inspiration from the show... sue me. also... i don't think natalie would be the type of person to just rob random stores n shit. i really think she would only do it if she felt it was justified. shes not a bad person shes just rough around the edges ok đâ
...I've never had a buzzball and know nothing about soccer btw
#natalie scatorccio#nat scatorccio#nat scatorccio x you#nat scatorccio x reader#natalie scatorccio x reader#natalie scatorccio x you#yellowjackets#yellowjackets x you#yellowjackets x reader#spoons (fics/blurbs)#butter knives (sfw)#from the cutlery drawer#crush
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Summary: it's your man's birthday--and the new year! What better to reign in the new year by celebrating both? And at a festival no less! Ft: Toji Zen'in/Fushiguro CW: mentions of child abuse (pertaining to Toji) Note: two fics in the span of a week?! How amazing is that! Also I can't believe 2025 is already gonna be this week!!! Happy birthday to my #1 man everybody âșïž Also this isn't proofread since I wanted to get it out before I'd be too busy to finish it in time, so there might be grammatical errors!!
To be quite honest, the New Year was yet another one of those holidays that Toji didn't give a shit about. Christmas, New Year's, Golden Week... none of those were anything memorable to Toji growing up. Why would he care when he had more important things to care about, like getting out of his shitty family and his shitty living situation? Why buy presents for people when he had nobody to buy said presents for and could just spend the money on horse racing instead? It was a no brainer for him, obviously. Just get through the week, swallow all those stupid "Happy New Year!"s from the stupid drunkards passing him by, and get on with his day.
And what was so special about the new year? The earth passed around the sun for another year--so fucking what? Everybody dies in the end anyway. People should loathe there being another year, because it means one year closer to death. January was also a shitty month on its own, so there was that.
There was also the fact that it was his birthday.
The painful reminder that he was put on this earth 20-something years ago, that his parents were stupid enough to not wear a condom or pull out that resulted in him being born into this equally stupid world. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid--all of this was so stupid. His birthday, the new year... he really couldn't give a shit.
But that didn't mean you couldn't care about both things!
The way you saw it, it was another year on this earth where the sun didn't explode and there wasn't a nuclear war that destroyed everything; and Toji's birthday meant that he had another year to look forward to being alive. That was just the kind of person you were: uplifting, vibrant, and always seeing the good in everybody and everything, especially your boyfriend.
(You didn't actually see the good in everyone; that was just a figure of speech. Plus, your boyfriend had a lot of good to see!)
This means that, for the past 2 years you've been together, you've gone all out for both holidays, dragging him to holiday festivals and making a day out of his special day, buying him presents when he didn't feel worthy of receiving such thoughtful items.
He's never even had a present from someone who wasn't his handler, and that's because he was contracted to him. All he's received is beatings and hateful words from his family, who made sure to make a nightmare out of what was supposed to be his special day. So, it didn't strike you as surprising when he cried his eyes out when he got his first present, but all of that was another story for another day.
So, here you were, putting on Toji's special black haori that you bought for him on one special day. It went perfectly with the dark green kimono that went perfectly with his dark green eyes. "Don't you look handsome, handsome," you mused, smoothing out the dark fabric.
He rolled his eyes and tried to play the compliment off. "Yeah, yeah, I'm not much of a fan of this kinda stuff anyway. 'Much prefer the sweats and tee I always got on."
"The ones you end up ripping while out on your job?" You teased, poking his chest with a long, manicured nail. "I can't have my boyfriend running around in rags. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I did, hmm?"
Toji snorted in response. "Hey, sweets, I'm the boyfriend here. Aren't I supposed to be the responsible one, spoiling you instead?"
"I guess I'm a fan of both," you shrugged earnestly. You stepped back after his haori was put on, and you went to look at yourself in the mirror with a big, confident smile on your face. The pink flowers on your red kimono went perfectly with all the little hairpins on your head, and the geta sandals you wore almost made you tall enough to not be dwarfed by the hulk of a man that your boyfriend was.
While admiring yourself in the mirror, Toji approached behind you and wrapped his massive arms around your waist, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. "'N I'm a fan of you, sugar," he grinned with earnestness. "This color, especially. And all those cute little flowers you got in that hair of 'yers."
"Don't mess up my hair, Toji," you chastised him when he tried to play with the little pins. "One wrong move, and your 'sugar' won't be so sweet anymore."
He chuckled, shook his head, and walked away from you. "Right, right. Wouldn't want that happenin' anytime soon." He grabbed your purse and handed it to you, then wrapped the fur collar you had laid out around your neck. "And I wouldn't want you to catch a cold, either."
"Why, thank you, handsome," you giggled softly. "You ready to go?"
"Always if it involves you." He took your hand in his much larger one, pressed a kiss to the back of it, and led you out of the closet and the house.
Said festival that you dragged him to was just as amazing as always. The minute you got there, you dragged him to the first stand that you saw and played a game of ball toss (which he let you win, obviously; you didn't stand a chance at beating his assassin aim, and he'd much rather see you win than him), ate some takoyaki, and ran around doing whatever you two wanted to do.
"Let's go play that game next!" Was what you always said after every last game, dragging him around by the wrist with an unseen strength.
"Make sure my hand doesn't get yanked off first, doll," he chuckled simply.
At the dart toss, he decided to show off for you a little bit. What was the fun in simply rolling over belly-up when he can A. flex his biceps and B. show off his aim? He'd trained it for so long, so why not show off a bit? Each dart hit the bullseye, and he won you a giant New Year's special Hello Kitty plushie.
Which he ended up holding for you. You weren't lifting a finger, not while he was around.
Each game, each food stand, each little thing the both of you did only made the night more & more fun. He could definitely get used to celebrating his birthday and the New Year by playing silly little games and eating little delicacies here and there.
"Here, try this one!" You held up a bit of squid for him to try, and you fed it to him with your chopsticks. "Aren't you just the cutest little thing with your mouth stuffed, hmm?"
He narrowed his eyes at you with the food in his mouth and tried to say "shut yer trap" but instead sounded like he was muttering gibberish, resulting in you simply laughing and hugging him quickly.
Around you, the snow began to fall a bit more amidst the glow of the New Years lanterns, and all the little kids started to cheer for the specks of white snowflakes. Now, Toji wasn't a man who was hung up on the idea of starting a family, but it felt like a glimpse into the future that the two of you were going to build.
He didn't even feel worthy of having kids or a happy life in the first place. All those years of trauma, of being hit like a hurt dog & called a shit-stain on this earth had taken root in his brain, and digging them out felt like a job for an expert gardener (of which he was nothing of the sort), but with you, the light of his life, the angel of his salvation...
"Toji!"
You snapped him out of his little thought tangent and smiled at him. "Come, I wanna give you a present."
He grinned cheekily and let you lead him to a secluded area. "Oh? You finally gonna gimme that kiss you've been dangling over my head for so long?"
"Get your mind out of the gutter, handsome," you chided with a little giggle. "It's something much more special than a simple kiss. Besides, haven't I given you enough kisses for the day?"
"Have some sympathy for the birthday boy, dollie," he said while clutching his chest dramatically.
You turned to the side, taking something out of the purse you'd brought with you. "I made this just for you, Toji." You handed him a little book and waited with an expectant smile on your face.
"Y'know I don't read much, sweets- ow!" He didn't anticipate the little flick of the forehead he received for that comment.
"Just open it already," you pouted impatiently.
It was a small book with a thick cover & back--more cover than book if anything, so this was definitely not an ordinary book. Turning the book open, his eyes lit up when he saw the little pop-up that came out of the pages.
In the little pop-up book, there were photos of you together ordered by date and event. There was the first time you met, your first official date, the milestones you'd completed as a couple...
In the back of the book was a small note that contained your elegant handwriting and read:
"Dear Toji, dear my future husband, dear the best thing that's ever happened to me! I'm not very good with words, but to put it simply: I am so incredibly grateful to be your sweetheart. To think that we're already celebrating your birthday again (and yet another new year!) is mind-boggling, to say the least. Time really does flow by when you're with the people you love. Your strength, your resilience, your self-confidence and willingness to grow and change despite all that's happened to you is an inspiration, and I find myself growing and changing along with you. Happy birthday, and happy new year!! Love, your sweetheart."
He didn't even notice the tears that were streaming down his face until the paper got noticeably wetter. He put his hand over his mouth to stop himself from sobbing, and he shakily closed the book. "Dollie, this is..."
"Hey, hey, big guy," you comforted him carefully, knowing how emotional he got sometimes. "It's okay to cry, y'know. It's okay to cry around me."
You encircled your arms around him and let him crush you in turn with his much larger ones, and you let him cry into your hair.
"This is... the b-best gift I've ever gotten," he admitted, muffled by the strands of your hair. "Thank you... thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you so fuckin' much, I don't know what to do with myself sometimes."
"It's alright, you don't need to know what to do all the time," you reassured him, looking up at him when he pulled away from your hair. "You just need to know that it's okay to let others take the wheel, yeah?"
He nodded, wiping his tears with the back of his sleeve. "Got me cryin' like a little bitch here," he said, chuckling chokingly.
"And you're not a little bitch," you reminded him by flicking his forehead. "You're Toji, my Toji. No amount of tears will ever change that."
"Aye aye, dollie," he joked, even saluting you.
You simply raised an eyebrow and snorted. "C'mon, let's go write our wish for the New Year before the clock strikes twelve, 'kay?"
At the shrine in the center of the festival, the two of you took two things of paper and went to the shrine. You both turned from each other to keep things a secret, although it's not much of a secret when you both wrote "a happy life with my future wife/husband" on your papers.
Once written, you both hung them up and walked away from the shrine. "So, what'dya write, dollie?" He asked, wrapping his arm around your waist.
"It defeats the purpose if I tell you what I wrote, genius," you retorted (with another sassy look from your end).
"Guess you're right," he shrugged. He pulled back his kimono sleeve to eye the time, and he realized it was already 11:52 and the new year was about to arrive sooner than he'd expected. "Shit, guess it's gonna be 2025 real soon, ain't that right?"
"Time flies when you're having fun with your man," you giggled cheekily.
He reached around and smacked your ass real quick after you said that. "And ain't that right as well," he replied with an equally cheeky grin.
As the minutes ticked by, you thought about how incredibly blessed you were to have each other in your life. You'd started and were about to end the year with each other, at the same festival that you'd attended last year. He used to hate sameness and repetition, always searching for something to spice things up...
But he didn't need to search for anything when he had you.
Turns out, the only thing he needed to spice up his life was someone who could give him the stability he so desperately craved and needed to survive.
He was so used to turbulence, to not getting a day nor night's rest, that he'd forgotten to stop and smell the roses.
"Five, four, three, two, one!" Those numbers caught him off guard, but he didn't have to worry when you kissed him right as the new year rang in.
"Happy New Year!"
© nellielsss on tumblr - get your own shit bitches | ca. 12/31/2024
#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji smut#toji x reader#toji zenin#jjk x reader#toji#toji fushiguro x reader#jjk#toji x you#fushiguro toji#jujutsu kaisen toji#jjk fluff#jjk angst
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Dating Ena Shinonome - Headcanons đđ
she leaves you for cheesecake
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#project sekai#ena shinonome#heres this stupid thing I thought of like a week ago#this post is sponsored by the aromantic ena agenda#unrelated but I love how this card looks her little hair pins are so cute
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Lookie what I got! The rarest of collector's editions, with only one in existence! (There's an @ symbol in place of a © on the title page.)
(There's only one because I fixed it after I ordered my proof copy.)
Someday this will be very valuable, for sure!
#optimism ftw#why yes I do feel a bit stupid for that rather boneheaded error#but instead of dwelling on that I'd rather think about how much people will surely appreciate it years in the future#my writer friends are very talented you see#and there are some great stories in here#I like to think that someday the anthologies we put together will be looked back on in amazement#because how could so many famous writers have known each other from the start?#it's a nice thought#no idea what the future really holds of course#but I enjoy this possible future#just like I enjoy writing about Narcissus as a vampire who wants a reflection#and the walking-out-of-the-underworld Orpheus & Eurydice story as cyberpunk#there are many other cool things in here#and it comes out soon!#and pre-orders are up!#everywhere but Amazon for some aggravating reason!#clearly they are Too Big To Fail and no one is going to give them a proper kick in the pants for not getting their act together#like they were supposed to weeks ago#here's hoping their page works by launch day at least#we'll see#anyways!#yay I have my proof copy!#and it looks good!#I did the cover myself#my objectivity is shot but I think it turned out nice and professional#Shatterlore#book recs#indie author life#bookblr
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All my life I hated oatmeal so much (I have no idea whyâit tasted disgusting as far as I can remember) but like I tried it again like two days ago and it was the most delicious thing I've had ???? (pretty sure my tastebuds have changed a bit) but yeah I've been having oatmeal thrice a day like a child from the great depression
#hyperfixation over foods is so weird like until two weeks ago i thought an egg sandwhich was sent from heaven lmao#and now i cant look at that thing#â
rambles#missed saying stupid stuff here
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Love how I never get to be happy for very long lmao đ
#not snz#delete later#no okay bc i got offered a job like a month ago#interviewed on a thursday she said she'd email me my official offer letter on monday#then she didn't and i sent her an email and she said the following monday#then two more weeks go by and i sent her another email#and she said monday the 14th for sure bc she'd have everything finalized#it's saturday#still nothing#like I'll wait until maybe halfway through next week if i haven't heard by this coming monday but man wtf#like even if she changed her mind and wants to go with someone else why won't she just tell me that#why is there zero communication here#why did i let myself get so happy when literally nothing ever goes right#it's so fucking stupid I'm literally crying like i expected this to be any different#i want that stupid job so bad like what the hell#why would you tell me you were offering me a job and that you like me and that I'm the ideal candidate#and then tell me nothing for a whole fucking month#like maybe it's fine and it's just taking forever and things are just dysfunctional but i fucking doubt it#I'm actually devastated rn for no reason like wtf is wrong with me#why did i want it so bad why did i think i could have it why is nothing i do ever enough#I'm so fucking tired I've been trying so hard for so long to get a goddamn job and i thought this was finally it#i should just fucking let my license lapse fr idc clearly i don't belong here and i can't keep getting my hopes up like this
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woke up feeling ruffff but took my meds and went back to bed for a while n I feel a bit better
#only slept 4 hrs yesterday so was rly hoping to get a solid nights sleep today bc i probably won't tonight....#but i didnt sigh. but my options are either to plough thru w today and make myself do this even tho i dont rly feel like it#or cancel plans and stay in and mope which will inevitably turn into self harm so rly the latter is a non option lmao#its all okay ill get into the swing of things n have a good time once im thereee#and i always knew i was gonna feel a bit like this like its an open wound for me i just need to be careful not to touch it#bc how i feel isnt based in reality its just insecurity n vulnerability n ik it can take months to fully recover from a previous episode#and part of the recovery process needs to involve facing potentially triggering situations instead of avoiding them#bc otherwise ill get increasingly worse bc its not possible to always avoid and ill be defenceless again when it does happen again etc#like its part of rebuilding my sense of self n confidence n hopefully i can eventually start to trust other ppl again n lower my guard#bc it sucks being contorted into this defensive pose all the time and i would like to allow myself to feel genuine connection w others !!#and to stop instinctively flinching and waiting for the hit im tired of my mind telling me ppl r lying + trying to hurt me when theyre not#im being a bit dramatic like i am doing a LOT better than i was a few weeks ago. n i def can handle this one#and the risk of triggering myself is much much lower anyway in this specific situation. so long as theyre not hiding shit from me again#i can think of several ways that risk could skyrocket n unexpectedly spiral out of my control n it makes it hard to breathe just imagining#but i need to believe that it wont. so if-no WHEN it doesnt then next time ill have proof that i can navigate it n i wont feel so anxious#it makes me laugh how stupid this is from an outside perspective. my brain causes me so much weird n 100% unnecessary distress#but its the only brain ive got n will always have so i need to work with it!!#anyway all that aside i genuinely am rly looking forward to this afternoon!! ive rly wanted to start doing more nice things for myself#n the fact it coincides w missing smth that could incite my rsd is kind of for the best even if it is making me anxious#i cant let my life revolve around anticipating how ppl might upset me n basing my decisions off minimising that damage#n while it would be nice to have company.. well ik its just as fun going alone bc ive done it before! n i need a reminder of that#ah im gonna turn myself in circles if i think much more. i dont need to justify anything#i hope they have a nice time and i hope i have a nice time and i hope that eventually someday we can have a nice time together instead#of separately. and i hope that someday ill feel included and wanted by other ppl and wont be posting on tumblr every time this happens LOL#this comes across like im saying i need to learn how to enjoy my own company or whatever but i prommy i already do..#what i actually need to learn is how to trust n enjoy the company of ppl i care abt without constantly being scared theyll hurt me....#but thats not happening today cuz i got other plans woooo OKAYY im gonna stop ruminating and get some chores done sjdkfh#.vent#<- well not rly a vent bc its not like im channelling feelings here im just rambling bc i have a lot on my mind. but still#this is prolly incoherent i keep putting my phone down and doing other things and then adding another thought LOL
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woke up took my usual 1mg of a xan n an edible im just goin 4 it 2day
#not it that some of u may think lmao but im just getting high af fuck consequences lol i do have to b able to kayak tho bc its pretty enough#to do that but i can totally do that high just prolly no videos of it this time but i got kinda good at it at the end n could slowly paddle#n film at the same time also they r drier than i thought tbh still too close to the water to make me fully comfortable like canoes r bad but#safer bc like theres a barrier between me n the water but on a kayak its like the barrier isnt there n the things in the water r so close#which ik theyre rly not usually minus tiny fish n if im being stupid n get near snake spots or a snake in general but some alligator gar n#paddle fish get so close to the shore n theyre both harmless but way too big that jusy thinking about them im startingnto get anxious n feel#sick lmaooo so uh yk anyway i have a weird fear of fish that seems to only get worse i think its from watching jaws as a toddler i hav no#no memory of that but hav been told i wouldnt get in the bath by myself for a while after soooo#either that or im just straight up scared of fish like over 9 inches n thats pushing it okay fish should not b big idk#dont even start on the ocean also ive lived in louisiana most of my life so also i have that *oh fuck alligator* in me any time i see a log#so like theres also that... n i think seeing alligators in louisiana a few weeks ago b4 coming here uh got me a lil more on edge#i rambled oops#batbaby rambles#but like fr lmao
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DPxDC Danny the Guy Who Won't Die
He lives in Gotham, and he is just A Guy. Nothing weird about him, he's just there to study/work/help Lady Gotham to lift her curse/on vacation with Sam. Point is, he is not there to cause trouble and there's no GIW on his tail. Just a dude living his (after)life.
And Gotham, being Gotham, still finds a way to be annoying. There are mugging attempts, robbery, Rogues running around. Only Danny really doesn't want to deal with any of it.
Now there's a dilemma. If he uses his powers to fight, it will sooner or later come to Bats' attention. And if he fights as a human, it will also alert some of the Bats since he doesn't really do a great job at keeping his power levels low. Not to mention the fact he is really not enthusiastic about accidentally punching someone hard enough he sends them to a hospital.
What does he do instead? He pulls the 'I guess I'll die' act.
So every time he is attacked, he just plays dead. The mugger shot him in the chest? He falls down and stops breathing. Caught up in the middle of a Poison Ivy attack? Skewers himself on the vine and goes lax. Scarecrow's Fear Gas? Very dramatically chokes himself and plays a corpse. He makes sure to disappear before any ambulances arrive later, and it all goes well for a few months - he is just a casualty, who cares, really - until one day, he runs into that same mugger who shot him in the chest a while ago.
The man does a double take. Danny doesn't notice - he's been mugged so many times, who has the brain capacity to remember all of those fuckers. But the rumor goes out anyway.
A guy-who-won't-die. It's more of a city legend, really, and the Bats don't give it much thought since, well, it sounds stupid and not very important. A rumor of some man who was shot dead and then showed up like nothing happened? Yeah, it's probably because the mugger didn't check if he was actually dead. That happens. Maybe it wasn't even the same man, Gotham is a big city. If anything, hey, at least that was one less casualty? That's a good thing.
That is, until one day, they show up to Joker's hostage situation and witness the clown screaming at one of the hostages. He is so enraged he is shaking, spit flying out of his mouth, and, contrary to the usual Joker's evil sneers and maniacal laughter, he seems just... furious. But, like, the normal-human-level furious. The 'I just lost the last ounce of patience with you' furious.
"Don't you look away from me, you think I don't remember you?! Na-ah, I do. You were the one I drowned in the shark tank last week! And you were the one run through the chainsaw trap two weeks before that! And you were in the guillotine!!! I saw your fucking head get deattached from your body, how the fuck are you here again?!"
And the guy he is screaming at just looks at him, confused and incomprehensive.
"Um, I'm pretty sure I'd remember getting my head cut off, you know? So, err, wrong guy."
"Wrong guy my fucking ass-"
Joker is so distracted by his screaming match that it makes it almost too easy for the Bats to fight him down and drag to Arkham. Yet, a few of them get just a bit suspicious.
Now, imagine all the shenanigans when they try keeping a watch on Danny the Won't Die Guy.
#danny phantom#dc x dp#dpxdc#batman#joker#danny refuses to die#not again#at least this time he gets to make it funny#the bats are mostly confused#is he a meta?#but what kind of meta just... cant die?#what?#cork prompts#just silly thoughts
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your post about sylus essentially conditioning the reader to sit on his lap hasjsakddf that was so perfect and in character đ i love it sm its given me so much brain rot - how bout this:
can i request the lads boys reaction to the reader randomly asking to be carried/picked up in the middle of walking? for no other reason just to see how'd they react lol
LaDS casually carrying MC
Xavier
The most casual. He just smiles at you and asks, "Bridal or piggyback?" in the same tone as if he's asking what you want to eat.
And he's not just playing along. He means it. He wants to be the one you lean on â metaphorically and literally.
You can try and backtrack but then you'll get those eyes. The bluest puppy dog eyes that can break the strongest of wills. "Are you sure? We still have a few blocks to go to the cafĂ©, I donât want you to get tired..."
You feel like you're holding out on him by not letting him carry you. The mind tricks this man is capable of to get what he wants are ridiculous.
You fold embarrassingly fast and Xavier is happy as can be with you on his back, your arms and legs around him like a full-body embrace. He can see the tactical advantage to carrying you like this during missions, too.
Rafayel
"You want me to carry you?â Rafayel scoffs. âWhat if I pulled a muscle in my arm and couldn't draw for a week? No thank you!"
He refuses until you ask if it's not that he doesn't want to carry you, but that he can't.
Now you've wounded his pride. He might not be the God of the Sea anymore, but he can't let this go unanswered! Rafayel will be on you relentlessly to let him pick you up, no matter how long it takes.
"Whoa, be careful, cutie! There's no telling how deep these puddles are from all the rain â you're super lucky your boyfriend is here to carry you to safety."
When you finally break and let him do it just so he can prove a point, he realizes he likes this way more than he thought he would. You're like his adorable little prisoner and the only way you're getting out is in praise and smooches. This will become a regular thing, I fear.
Zayne
âI told you to wear more comfortable shoes.â
Zayne inwardly grins at how quickly you deflate at his blunt response. It's adorable.
But Zayne has a hard time denying you something so innocent as wanting to be close to him. So he guides your arm to wrap around his shoulders and picks you up with a strength that always takes you by surprise.
He waits for you to settle comfortably in his arms before he starts walking. He's aware of the disapproving stares from the people around you and not too long ago, he would've been one of them. How quickly his perspective has changed because of you.
Zayne is brought out of his thoughts when he feels you peck his cheek and now you get that oh so familiar look of gentle reproach from him. "I am working on being more affectionate but I'm not there yet, MC. Now, behave or your ride will end early."
Sylus
Sylus is so caught off guard that, for once, you can see his entire thought process play out through his expressions.
Surprise at your request, suspicion you're just toying with him, the realization you're being somewhat serious, and then the most gratified look you've ever seen on his stupid smug face.
Now youâre speaking his language. So delighted youâre finally catching on, he just picks you up and continues on his way without breaking his stride.
However, you didn't specify how he should carry you. So you're draped over Sylus's shoulder and to keep you there, his hand is dangerously high up on your thigh for being in public. The smack on your ass is so inevitable, you can feel it like it's already happened.
"You just said you were tired, now you want me to put you down? You need to learn to make up your mind, kitten. I'll just carry you until you're sure of what you want."
#i think rafayel is the only one who hasn't carried us yet...? correct me if i'm wrong#love and deepspace#love & deepspace#love and deepspace x reader#love & deepspace x reader#lads x reader#l&ds x reader#my writing
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RAFE CAMERON - thatâs so true
x HIGH MAINTENANCE! KOOK !FEM!reader - MASTERLIST
SUMMARY: you're insecure about your relationship with rafe, when he gets closer with sofia
WORD COUNT: +5.2k
GENRE: ANGST to fluff
CONTENT WARNING: /
listen to 'that's so true' from gracie abrams for better experience <3.
âi could go and read your mind
think about your dumb face all the time
living in your glass house, iâm outside, uhâ
the late afternoon sun filtered through the wide windows of tannyhillâs living room, casting a golden glow on the sprawling estate. you sat cross-legged on the plush cream couch, scrolling through your phone with one hand while idly tugging at the hem of your baby pink knit sweater with the other. notifications of luxury sales popped up intermittently, but your heart wasnât in it today. instead, your mind was somewhere else. more accurately, on someone else.
across the room, rafe cameron leaned casually against the kitchen island, deep in conversation with sofia. the sound of her laughâthe kind that wasnât too loud, not too fakeâfloated over, making your stomach twist.
sofia wasnât your idea of a kook, not the kind who frequented boutiques or spent hours curating their aesthetic. her laid-back charm was effortless, her simple jeans and oversized hoodie a stark contrast to the tailored mini-skirt you had on. she didnât even wear jewelry. yet, here she was, drawing rafe in with that natural ease, her hair in a messy braid like she didnât care, and maybe she didnât.
you hated how it made you feel. jealous. small. stupid.
âsheâs kind,â you had said casually a week ago, after introducing him to her at a party. âquiet and smart girl. we grew up together.â
kind. quiet. the opposite of you.
rafe laughed at something she said, his face lighting up with that rare, genuine smile that made your chest ache. he looked at sofia like she reminded him of simpler times, back when life wasnât all country club politics and family business drama. you tried to shove the feeling down, but it clawed its way back up, leaving you restless.
were you too much? the bi-weekly nail appointments, the balayage touch-ups every few months, the shopping sprees that felt more like therapyâwas that what made you wrong for rafe? youâd caught a glimpse of sofiaâs chipped nail polish earlier, and it was the type of thing rafe would probably call âcharming.â
the thought was a jagged knife, twisting in your gut.
âbabe, you good?â rafeâs voice broke your spiraling thoughts.
you looked up, startled, realizing he was staring at you now, his brows furrowed in mild concern. sofia was goneâwhen had she left?âand it was just you and rafe in the quiet hum of the room.
âyeah,â you lied, pasting on a smile. âjust tired.â
âyou sure?â he came closer, towering over you with his familiar scent of cologne and something distinctly rafe. his rough hand brushed your knee, a touch that was meant to reassure but only made you feel more exposed.
you nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. âpositive.â
he didnât look convinced, but he let it slide, sitting down next to you and pulling you into his side. you let yourself sink into him, resting your head against his shoulder. the warmth of his body shouldâve been comforting, but all it did was remind you of how far away you felt.
outside, the sun was setting, its rays casting shadows through the glass windows. you thought about sofia, imagined her in her car with the windows down, humming along to the radio, not worrying about being enough for anyone. and then you thought about yourselfâpolished, perfect, but perpetually on the outside, peering into rafeâs world, a world where you never felt like you truly fit.
rafe pressed a kiss to your forehead. âyouâd tell me if something was wrong, right?â
âof course,â you whispered, even though it wasnât true.
âlooking into big blue eyes
did it just to hurt me and make me cry
smiling through it all, yeah, thatâs my lifeâ
the sound of waves crashing against the shore filled the air as you sat on the edge of the beach blanket, digging your manicured nails into the soft fabric. rafe and sofia were waist-deep in the ocean, laughing as the current pushed them around. she squealed when a wave hit her back, and rafe threw his head back in laughter, that easy, carefree laugh you loved so much.
but it wasnât directed at you.
âyouâre not going in?â sarah asked, plopping down next to you with her iced tea in hand. she stretched her legs out, glancing at you sideways.
ânot really feeling it,â you replied, plastering on a smile as you smoothed the hem of your sundress. you didnât trust yourself to look at the water again, not with how raw you were already feeling.
sofiaâs voice cut through the air. ârafe! stop!â she shrieked, laughing as he splashed her with water. they looked like a scene out of some beachy rom-comâhis strong frame towering over her, her golden-brown hair clinging to her neck as she playfully shoved him.
sarah gave you a look, one you didnât need right now.
âwhat?â you asked, feigning confusion.
âdonât what me. youâre sitting here stewing when you should just talk to him.â
âthereâs nothing to talk about,â you said quickly. too quickly.
sarah sighed. âyouâve been weird ever since sofia came back from europe. sheâs your best friend. rafeâs your boyfriend. you need to chill.â
âyeah, i know that,â you snapped, guilt immediately twisting in your stomach. sarah wasnât wrong, but the truth was too tangled for you to admit out loud.
you turned your head to steal another glance at them. sofia threw her head back in a laugh, her face turned toward the setting sun, water glistening off her skin like she was straight out of a magazine spread. and rafe, with his piercing blue eyes, couldnât seem to look away from her.
your chest felt tight. you wanted to believe his gaze was harmless, that it was just the kind of attention sofia naturally drew wherever she went. but some dark, irrational part of you whispered that it wasnâtâthat rafe was looking at sofia the way you wished he always looked at you.
they started heading back toward the beach, their laughter fading into the sound of the waves. you quickly fixed your expression, schooling it into something neutral, something practiced.
âhey!â sofia grinned as she plopped down next to you, wringing water out of her hair. âyou missed out. the waves were amazing.â
âyeah, i just got my hair done,â you smiled lightly, ignoring the pang in your chest.
âyour loss,â rafe said as he dropped beside you, his arm slinging around your shoulders like it was the most natural thing in the world.
you leaned into him, smiling like you always did. sofia leaned over to pull a drink out of the cooler, and your gaze flicked between her and rafe, catching a glimpse of his blue eyes lingering on her for just a second too long.
your heart sank. but you didnât say anything.
instead, you smiled wider, locking it all away like you always did. this was your life, wasnât it? loving rafe. loving sofia. watching them shine brighter than you ever could while you tried not to let the cracks show.
âyouâre an idiot, now iâm sure
now iâm positive, i should go and warn herâ
the door to rafeâs room slammed shut behind you, the echo reverberating in your chest as you stood there, arms crossed, staring him down. the tension in the air was thick, neither of you willing to break the silence first.
it had started small, like these things always did. a casual question from rafe about why youâd been quiet lately, his concern laced with impatience when you deflected for the third time that day.
âyou donât even let me pay for anything anymore,â rafe said, his tone edged with irritation. âwhen was the last time you asked me to cover your nails, or your hair, or whatever? thatâs what iâm here for.â
your stomach twisted, but you didnât let it show. âi donât need your money, rafe. i have my own.â
âthatâs not the point,â he shot back, stepping closer. âitâs what i do. iâve always done it. why are you shutting me out like this?â
âiâm not shutting you out,â you argued, your voice rising slightly. âi just donât see why you have to make it a big deal every time i donât ask you for something. maybe i donât want to depend on you for every little thing.â
âthatâs not what this is about, and you know it,â he said, his voice low, like he was trying to keep his temper in check. âyouâve been different, and now youâre acting like this is all on me?â
âi just donât want to talk about it, okay?â youâd said, your voice sharper than you intended.
âthatâs all you ever say now,â he shot back, raking a hand through his hair. âyouâve been acting weird for weeks, and iâm just supposed to ignore it?â
âiâm fine, rafe,â you insisted, even though you werenât. not even close.
he let out a humorless laugh, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. âyou know, for someone who talks as much as you, you sure donât know how to open up when it matters.â
the words stung, more than you wanted to admit. you hated how he could get under your skin so easily, how he could take your worst fearâbeing too much and not enough at the same timeâand throw it in your face without even realizing it.
âiâm going out,â you said abruptly, grabbing your purse and heading for the door.
âof course you are,â he muttered, not stopping you.
now, walking briskly through the cool, air-conditioned expanse of the shopping center, you tried to push the fight out of your mind. Retail therapy had always been your escape, and today was no different. the rhythmic click of your heels on the polished floor, the weight of designer bags in your handâit was comforting, a distraction.
you turned into a high-end boutique, your favorite. the scent of expensive leather and vanilla greeted you, and you lost yourself in the rows of clothes, running your fingers over silky fabrics and embroidered details. you could almost forget the tightness in your chest, the ache that rafeâs words had left behind.
almost.
and then you saw her. sofia.
she was standing by the display of bags near the entrance, her back to you. she looked effortless as always, her hair falling in soft waves, her casual outfit perfectly understated. she was laughing softly at something the sales associate had said, the kind of laugh that seemed to echo in your mind even when she wasnât there.
your heart twisted.
you thought about the fight with rafe, about how youâd stormed out without looking back. you thought about sofia, about how easy it was for her to exist in the same spaces you had to fight to belong in. and for a fleeting, bitter moment, you wondered if rafe wouldâve preferred having her there instead of you.
she hadnât seen you yet. you could walk over, say hi, pretend everything was fine like you always did. or you could keep going, let the distance grow a little wider.
you adjusted the strap of your bag on your shoulder and turned on your heel, walking past the boutiqueâs floor-length windows without sparing her a glance.
your phone buzzed in your hand as you entered a store. a text from rafe.
r :3
we need to talk when you get home.
your stomach churned, but you didnât reply. not yet. you couldnât face him, not like this. not when you were still reeling from the fight and the sight of sofia, from the gnawing feeling that you didnât know who you were mad at anymoreâsofia, rafe, or yourself.
another buzz.
r :3
i sent you $100. get something you want.
a bitter laugh escaped your lips. was this his way of apologizing, or trying to prove a point?
you slipped your phone into your purse, plastering on a smile for the cashier as you handed over your credit card. this was your life, wasnât it? smiling through it all, even when you didnât know how much longer you could keep it up.
âooh, bet youâre thinking sheâs so cool
kickinâ back on your couch, making eyes from across the room
wait, i think iâve been there too, oohâ
the steady hum of the air conditioning was the only sound in your room as you sat at the edge of your bed, staring at your phone. the screen lit up with a new message from sofia.
s<3
hey, i was thinking we should all hang out at tannyhill tonight. you, me, sarahâjust a chill night. what do you think?
you bit your lip, hesitating. it had been a long day of avoiding rafe and thinking about him and sofia, about their chemistry that felt so effortless. you and sofia had been best friends for years, but lately, every time she invited you to hang out, it felt like something was missing, like the space between you two had grown wider.
but still⊠you couldn't shake the feeling that if you went, youâd just be putting on a show, pretending everything was okay when it clearly wasnât. you didnât even know what to say to her anymore, let alone to sarah. the thought of sitting around with them, pretending to have a good time, when your mind kept drifting back to the fight with rafeâit felt exhausting.
you typed out a response, your fingers heavy on the keys.
not tonight. don't feel good. rain check?
you stared at the message for a long moment, the weight of it sinking in. rain check. you were avoiding them. you were avoiding everyone
you hit send.
the moment the message left your screen, you shoved your phone into the bedside drawer and laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. the silence was deafening, the emptiness of the room suffocating. you closed your eyes, but even in the dark, your mind couldnât stop spinning.
you imagined rafe at tannyhill with sofia and sarah. maybe they were all hanging out by the pool, laughing at some stupid joke sofia made, her hand casually brushing against rafeâs as they both leaned in to listen to sarahâs gossip. maybe rafe had his arm around sofiaâs shoulders, that easy smile of his lighting up his face.
maybe rafe didnât even notice how he was looking at her. maybe sofia didnât even know how much it bothered you. but in your mind, it didnât matter. they were perfect for each other in a way that you didnât think you could ever be.
a dull ache spread through your chest, and your mind kept playing out the sceneârafe leaning in, talking to sofia in that easy, intimate way that made you feel invisible, like you didnât even exist in the same world.
the thought hit you hard, almost like a punch to the gut. youâd seen them before, seen that look in his eyes when he wasnât thinking about it, when it was so effortless. you had been there too. you had been the one sitting on the outside, watching the two of them, wondering if it was just in your head or if rafe truly felt something for sofia.
you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to shake the images from your mind. but the more you tried to push them away, the clearer they became. you could almost hear the sound of their laughter echoing in the distance, and it felt like you were drowning in it, unable to catch your breath.
you didnât know when it had become like this, when everything had started to feel like a competition you werenât even aware you were part of.
you heard your phone buzz from inside the drawer, pulling you from your thoughts.
a from rafe.
r :3
where are you?
you stared at the screen, your thumb hovering over the reply button. what could you even say? that you were imagining him and sofia at tannyhill, laughing without a care? that you were afraid of losing him to someone like her?
you didnât reply. instead, you slid your phone back into the drawer, pulled the covers over your head, and tried to forget everything for a little while longer.
âwhatâd she do to get you off? (uh-huh)
taking down her hair like, âOh my God!â
taking off your shirt, i did that once, or twice, uhâ
âno, i know, i know, fuck off (off)
but i think i like her, sheâs so fun
wait, i think i hate her, iâm not that evolvedâ
the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon, casting an orange glow over the beach as you sat down on the sand, the familiar saltwater breeze blowing through your hair. kiara plopped down beside you, her sneakers kicking up a cloud of sand as she settled in, her brow furrowed in that way she did when she knew something was off.
âokay, seriously, whatâs going on with you and rafe?â she asked, her voice gentle but direct.
you sighed, dropping your gaze to the sand between your feet. âwhat do you mean?â
kiaraâs eyes softened with concern. âi havenât seen you two together in forever. and youâve been off, too. somethingâs not right.â
you let out a breath, staring at the horizon. âi donât know, Kie. itâs... complicated.â
kiara raised an eyebrow. âcomplicated? thatâs the word you use after dating for whatâhow long? over two years now?â
âyeah, well, thatâs the thing,â you muttered, biting your lip. âitâs just beenââ you paused, struggling to find the right words. âi donât know. lately, it feels like rafe doesnât even notice me. like, iâm always there, but not really there, you know?â
kiara tilted her head, studying you with concern. âwhat do you mean, not really there? heâs not paying attention to you?â
oyu shook your head, frustration bubbling up. âno, itâs like... heâs distant. heâs always been this way with me, but recently, it feels like itâs worse. like heâs more into sofia, or just... not into me, i guess. weâve been fighting a lot.â
kiara was quiet for a moment, looking out at the waves. âokay, so, this has to do with sofia, doesnât it?â
you let out a dry laugh, your gaze falling to your hands, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. âyeah. yeah, it does.â
kie glanced at you sharply, her eyes narrowing. âyouâve always been close with sofia, right? sheâs your best friend.â
âi know,â you replied, almost too quickly. âi love sofia, so much. sheâs my best friend. i should be happy for her, right? butââ you stopped yourself, the words forming before you could stop them. âbut, something i think... i just hate her, too.â
kiaraâs eyes softened, and she reached across the table, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.
âyouâre not crazy for feeling this way. but donât let it eat you alive. donât let it destroy your relationship. if rafeâs the one, you need to talk to him about it. you need to tell him how youâre feeling, because keeping it all inside isnât doing anyone any favors, especially not you.â
you took a shaky breath, feeling like there was more you needed to say, but didnât have the words for. kiara was right, of course. you couldnât keep pretending everything was fine when it was falling apart, but how could you explain the mess of emotions that tangled inside you? how could you put into words the way you felt about sofiaâhow much you loved her, and at the same time, how much you resented her for just being everything you werenât?
âyouâre right,â you finally muttered, still not fully convinced. âi just donât know if i can handle it. what if i tell him and it just makes things worse?â
she gave you a knowing look. âyouâll never know until you try.â
you looked out over the horizon, the last rays of sunlight casting long shadows over the ground. you didnât have the answers, but one thing was clear: you couldnât keep living in this limbo, hating the things you couldnât change, and pretending everything was fine when it wasnât. you needed to figure it out, for your own sake.
âthanks, kie,â you whispered, leaning back in your chair, the weight of your emotions still heavy, but just a little bit lighter now that youâd said it out loud.
âiâm sorry sheâs missing it, sad, sad boy
not my business, but i had to warn yaâ
âooh, bet youâre thinking sheâs so cool
kickinâ back on your couch, making eyes from across the room
wait, i think iâve been there too, oohâ
oh-ooh (ooh), youâve got me thinking (got me) sheâs so cool (ooh)
but i know what i know, and youâre just another dude
ooh, thatâs so true, oohâ
you had barely finished talking with kiara when your phone buzzed again, pulling your attention back to the screen. it was sofia.
hey, i just wanted to check in. are you mad at me? i feel like youâve been avoiding me latelyâŠ
you froze, your heart tightening. it had been a few days since youâd distanced yourself from her, but you hadnât meant to make her feel that way. your fingers hovered over the screen, unsure of what to say. you didnât want to hurt sofia, but you didnât know how to explain the mess inside your head.
after a few moments, you typed out a response, trying to keep it as light as possible.
iâm not mad at you, sof. just been dealing with some stuff. itâs not about you.
you hit send, watching the little bubbles appear as she started typing. but just before her reply came through, another text popped up. rafe.
hey, i just want to clear something up. sofiaâs crying in Sarahâs room. sheâs upset about something you said.
your stomach churned. you quickly opened the message.
i donât know what exactly, but youâre wrong about what you said. she hasnât done anything to you, and i think you need to talk to her. this is getting out of hand.
you sat there, staring at the message, feeling a mixture of guilt and confusion. what did rafe mean by that? what had you said that upset sofia? your mind raced, trying to piece things together, but all you could think about was the way heâd worded itâlike you were the one who was in the wrong, like your feelings didnât matter.
the weight of the words hung in the air, pressing down on you as you tried to make sense of everything.
sofiaâs upset? you thought, feeling a pang of guilt wash over you. it wasnât your intention to hurt her, not at all. but you couldnât deny the feelings of frustration and jealousy that had been building up. you had felt pushed to the side, like you were being replaced by someone who was just⊠so much easier, so much cooler than you ever seemed to be.
why does she get everything so effortlessly? you wondered bitterly, remembering the way she seemed to shine so naturally in rafeâs world, her presence so casual, so unaffected. it only made your insecurities grow, but now it felt like you were the one in the wrong.
the next message from sofia finally came through.
i just donât want to lose you as a friend. if somethingâs going on, i want to talk about it.
your heart dropped as you read it. you could feel the sincerity in her words, but also the pain. you couldnât stand the thought of her being upset, especially when it was your fault. youâd always loved sofia, but this weird, twisted feeling you hadâof hating her and wanting to be like her at the same timeâwasnât something you had ever known how to deal with.
a deep breath.
you thought about rafeâs message. about how heâd said you were wrong. he was always so quick to take sofiaâs side, so quick to defend her, like you were the one in the wrong, even when you were just⊠trying to figure everything out.
you typed slowly, your fingers reluctant, still caught in the confusion.
iâm sorry. i didnât mean to make you upset. i guess iâve just been feeling a little off lately. things with rafe arenât exactly⊠great right now.
you paused, rereading the words before hitting send, feeling vulnerable in a way you hadnât in a long time.
not even a minute later, rafeâs name appeared on your screen again. this time, the message was short and to the point.
you need to talk to her, y/n. youâre blowing this out of proportion. just let it go and fix this shit.
the sting of his words hit harder than you expected. you clenched your jaw, resisting the urge to reply with something sharp. it wasnât that you wanted to push him awayâit was that you had no idea how to make him understand how this all made you feel.
you were getting lost in the frustration, in the feeling that no one really saw you, no one really understood where you were coming from.
but you knew you had to do something.
iâll talk to her, you replied, the words feeling hollow. you didnât know what you could say that would make everything right, but you knew you had to try.
you sat back against your pillow, staring at the screen, your mind racing. you thought about rafe, about sofia, about everything.
but you couldnât let that be the end of it. not yet. you had to try. you had to fix it.
âmade it out alive, but i think i lost it.
said that i was fine, said it from the coffin.
remember how i died when you started walkinâ?
thatâs my life, thatâs my life.â
the air was thick with tension as you stood in the living room with sofia and rafe, both of them waiting for you to say something, anything, that would explain the silence that had been hanging between you all for the past few days.
you took a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything you had been holding inside. âi just, need to talk,â you said, your voice quieter than youâd intended, but it was enough to make them both focus on you.
sofia was sitting on the couch, arms crossed, looking at you with a mix of confusion and concern. rafe was leaning against the wall, arms folded too, his usual laid-back demeanor slightly tense.
âi know iâve been distant lately, and iâve been avoiding both of you, but itâs because of how iâve been feeling⊠and i need you both to know that this is about me, not you.â
sofia raised an eyebrow, glancing at rafe before turning back to you. âwhat do you mean?â
you took a deep breath, the words feeling heavy as you let them spill out. âiâve been feeling... insecure. i know itâs stupid, but when i see the way you two get along, it justâit gets to me. you and rafe, you make everything look so easy. and i feel like i have to work so much harder, just to keep his attention, just to feel like Iâm enough.â
there was a long, heavy pause. rafe finally spoke, his voice gentle, his expression softening. âyouâre wrong, though. iâm with you because i want to be with you. sofia and i are friends, nothing more. but you're the one i want.â he stepped forward, looking at you with a sincerity you hadnât seen in a while. âi shouldnât have let you feel that way. iâm sorry.â
sofia looked at you with wide, understanding eyes, her lips turning into a soft smile. âlook, n/n, it took me forever to even get to a point where i could be okay with hanging out with him. no offense to you, rafe, but i didnât want to mess things up for you because i didn't like him. i didnât want you to think i was trying to steal him away from you. i thought if i could just get along with him, that it would make you feel better .i did it for you, because i thought thatâs what you needed.â
your eyes softened, and you took a shaky breath, finally feeling the weight of the situation lifting just a little. âi didnât know that,â you whispered. âi thought... i thought maybe you two were just, i donât know, better together. youâre both so effortless, and i feel like iâm always trying too hard to be perfect.â
sofiaâs face softened as she stood up, walking over to you and pulling you into a tight hug. âyou donât need to be perfect. youâre perfect just the way you are.â she pulled back slightly, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. âi donât want you to ever think iâm a threat to you, okay? youâre my best friend, and nothing is going to change that.â
rafe, who had been watching quietly, took a deep breath, stepping forward to join you both. he reached out, pulling you into a hug as well, his voice low but sincere. âand iâm not going anywhere, babe. youâre the one for me. iâm not interested in anyone else, and i shouldâve made that clearer before.â
oyu closed your eyes for a moment, feeling a rush of relief, a weight finally lifting off your shoulders. âiâm sorry, both of you,â you whispered. âi shouldâve talked about this sooner instead of letting it fester.â
sofia laughed softly, wiping a tear from her cheek. âweâre good, okay? weâre all good now.â
you pulled back from her, still feeling the relief in your chest. âweâre good,â you echoed, smiling at her through your own tears.
there was a long moment of silence, and then rafe cleared his throat, awkwardly stepping back. âokay, okay, this is getting a little too emotional for me,â he said with a half-smile, trying to break the tension. âcan we get back to the part where we all pretend we donât have feelings?â
you both chuckled, wiping at your eyes and trying to stifle your laughter. you grinned at him. âaw, come on, donât be so awkward about it. youâre so cute when youâre uncomfortable.â
âyeah, yeah, alright,â rafe muttered, looking between the two of you. âbut seriously, if you two are done crying, y/n, i think you should get those nails done. theyâre looking a little... tacky.â he smirked, trying to lighten the mood.
you rolled your eyes playfully, looking down at your nails. âi know, right? theyâve been a disaster for weeks.â
sofia laughed, nodding. âletâs go get your nails done. itâll be a perfect excuse to hang out together, and you can stop obsessing over whatever weird thoughts youâve been having.â
you turned to rafe, your smile growing wider. âyou know what? youâre right. theyâre awful.â you made a dramatic gesture at your nails. âi need a new look.â
rafe smirked, his hands stuffed into his pockets. âiâll pay for it,â he said casually, glancing at the wall. âgo on, get whatever you want. i donât care.â
you stared at him in surprise. âreally?â
he shrugged, not meeting your eyes. âyeah, why not? you deserve it. and iâll do whatever makes you happy, okay?â
sofia looked at you, her grin widening. âsee? even rafe knows you deserve a little treat.â
you shook your head, laughing softly. âalright, fine. letâs go. but only because i need a distraction from all the feelings today.â
the three of you made your way to the door, but before you stepped out, you turned to sofia, pulling her into another hug. âthank you,â you whispered. âfor everything.â
she squeezed you tight. âalways. now, letâs get you those nails, and then i want to hear about everything.â
as you all walked out the door together, rafe following behind you, you couldnât help but feel lighter, like a weight had finally been lifted. things werenât perfect, but they were real. and for the first time in a while, you felt like everything was going to be okay.
âalright, alright,â rafe said, his voice teasing as he slapped his hands together. âletâs get this nail thing over with. and donât get any too crazy designs.â
you laughed, leaning into sofia as you all walked down the street.
âpromise,â you said, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like everything was exactly where it needed to be.
âiâll put up a fight, taking out my earrings
donât you know the vibe?
donât you know the feeling?
âyou should spend the night,
catch me on your ceiling
thatâs your prize, thatâs your prizeâ
âoh-ooh (ooh), youâve got me thinking (got me) sheâs so cool
but i know what i know, and youâre just another dude,
ooh, thatâs so true, ooh, ooh, uhâ
#lizzieswritesđđ#girl writer#rafe x you#rafe cameron x reader#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe cameron#rafe cameron x kook!reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe obx#outerbanks rafe#rafe fluff#rafe angst#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron fanfiction#outer banks x reader#drew starkey x reader
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This is Not the f time to over analyse everything
#i hate this so much#why can i only go in 2 weeks to my therapist#Also is it so difficult#to just breath???#really stupid#can they just met me be hapoy#Omg I only will sleep for 7 hours and it freaks me out#i feel so bad out of nothing?#and im analysing things that happende 2 months ago 2 years ago and more#like really Not having this#my brain is just explosief#postive thoughts but my brain doesnt work with me?#God so stressed for multiple reasons and yes im gonna take it out here
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After All This Time (kmg)
When you're asked to be on the wedding party of a long-lost friend, you get the chance to reconnect with former classmate Mingyu, but not without your old feelings and struggles resurfacing.
â§Ë* pairing: groomsman!mingyu x bridesmaid!reader
â§Ë* w.c: 18,7k
â§Ë* genre: friends to lovers, fluff, smut, angst, it's another self-indulgent 'running away from your high school past' story from me.
đ§: still into you â paramore
â§Ë* warnings: alcohol consumption, a lot of not standing up for oneself, kind of unrealistic wedding timeline (i've never been a bridesmaid so bare with me), mingyu has no flaws here because... im in love with him, this might be badly written I can't really tell anymore | smut: it's messy, and rough, face sitting, unprotected penetration (don't do this), multiple orgasms (f). lmk if im missing anything
The unopened letter stares at you from across the table. Trying to ignore it by doing your housekeeping chores is pointless. Scrubbing your toilet, doing your laundry, making your bed, and even cooking your meal preps for the entire week, nothing managed to take your head away from that stupid letter, wondering what could possibly be.
You and Olivia havenât spoken properly since graduating high school many years ago. The last time you had a full-on conversation with her was when she told you she started seeing a new guy freshman year in college, someone who went to your same high school but never knew. Besides that, your only form of âcommunicationâ was liking each other's Instagram stories and the yearly happy birthday text. A letter from her addressed to you was the last thing you expected to see today, or ever.
Curiosity finally wins as you take it and inspect it up close. The pastel pink envelope with golden details feels sturdy in your hands, and the wax seal is stamped with two initials, O and T. The boyfriendâs name appears in your memory as the realization hits you. Olivia and Thomas.
This is a wedding invitation.
Opening the envelope just confirms your thoughts, but thereâs more to it than just a mere invitation. Just below some details such as dress code and the plus one, thereâs a part specifically addressed to you asking you to be one of Oliviaâs bridesmaids. Your stomach turns, anxiety, and excitement battling it out in each of your organs. For one, itâs really heartwarming that she thought of you as a friend still and wants you to be a part of such a special day as her wedding. On the other side, itâll be awkward to see everyone again after such a long time, because, weirdly enough, you never encountered anyone you knew ever again, even if you didnât move away and still frequented same places as before.
Except, maybe that anxiety is just because of one person, whoâs probably going to be more than involved in this wedding. Cassie, your other best friend.
Being a trio was never a problem. Actually, itâs probably the better friend group arrangement for you. The three of you got along immediately since the first day of middle school and never looked back. It was always fun and comfortable, you thought you had found your best friends for life. But something happened around the age when girls start noticing boys, when everyone starts going on dates, flirting, kissing, getting into relationships. Thatâs when you realized you and Cassie had the exact same type. It became almost like a routine: youâd notice a cute guy around school but didnât say anything, and the next thing you know, at the next party Cassie would also notice him and hook up with him. You were sure you were in your very own Truman Show.
Was it partially your fault for not saying anything? Maybe, but did it have to happen with literally every single guy you were ever attracted to? It reached a point where you would constantly doubt yourself, compare yourself to her, was she cooler? Prettier? Smarter? Funnier?
In the end, it wasnât her fault, and youâd never blame her for that, but for your own good and the wellness of your crumbling self-confidence, you had to get away from that situation. And you did. At least until now. But itâs been years, youâre not the same person you were back in high school, and hopefully, all of your self-doubting was also left in the past.
A sky-high, lavish building stands before you in all of its glory. You were no stranger to your old friendâs rich family, but her lifestyle always managed to take you by surprise.
Olivia wanted all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to meet and get comfortable with each other, so she and her fiancĂ© arranged a little afternoon party at their apartment. Over the few texts you exchanged with Olivia, she failed to mention the other people on the wedding party. So during the elevator ride, you think of every possibility, who could be there that you know? With how many people from school has she kept in contact with? Will you know the groomâs friends?
The doorbell rings inside the busy apartment, and a few seconds later youâre welcomed by your old friend with a bright smile. You hug Olivia tightly, the weirdness of the situation fading away for a few seconds. Afterward, you greet everyone with a shy smile, recognizing some faces and encountering new ones. Some people are standing in groups of three or four, while others sit on the couch or a few scattered chairs, talking with each other comfortably.
âWhile we wait for the last people to arrive, I want to start telling you what I have planned.â
Olivia announces as you walk away slowly, and you find an empty wall by the hallway to rest against.
At least twenty minutes pass, in which Olivia doesnât take one breath, her happiness and excitement showing through her endless words. The wedding plan is not really out of the ordinary, but the scale of things, thatâs the impressive part. She has seven bridesmaids, including you, plus the maid of honor who hasnât arrived yet, and her fiancĂ© has the same number of grooms, plus the best man. Each of you will pair up throughout the days coming up to the ceremony, and on the big day, each pair will have matching outfits and even a dance scheduled after the coupleâs first dance as a married couple. Her idea was essentially thought so no one would feel out of place and enjoy the ceremony, because it should be a happy day for everyone.
While she explains everything for the second time, you take your time to look around the big room full of people. Scanning every face, there isnât really a lot of girls you know, but the groomsmen, on the other hand, all of them went to your same high school. It seems Oliviaâs fiancĂ© still hangs out with his same group of friends. One of them, in particular, sparks a little smile across your face.
Mingyu was the only other person you considered a real friend in school. As scary and anxiety inducing as it is to have classes without your small friend group, he made it more than bearable, enjoyable even. Becoming friends with the nerdy boy assigned as your lab partner is one of the things you remember fondly about those years of your life. He was like a breath of fresh air during all the turmoil. Would he remember you?
His eyes catch yours from across the room, and an instant smile forms across his lips. After all the years that passed, he still looks the same. Heâs much more mature and fully over puberty now, his broad bulky frame being one of the more standing out new things about him, but youâd recognize that confused expression and toothy smile with fangs peeking out anywhere. Your mood rapidly improves as he mouths a âhiâ and waves his hand lightly at you, not wanting to interrupt the bride to be. You repeat his greeting with a growing grin, but your small interaction is cut short.
Your name catches your attention, and you turn to Olivia, âyou and Mingyu will be our last pair. Is that okay?â
The relief is immediate. It might be a little awkward, but at least youâll be with someone you know. You and Mingyu look at each other once again and then nod at her, but before she can continue with whatever she is saying, the entry door opens behind her.
âHi everyone!â The familiar voice makes your stomach drop, âIâm sorry Iâm late. My boss wouldnât let me go.â
She looks the same too, only with longer hair and more mature features on her face. Her body language holds the same coolness, as sure of herself as she was when you were younger.
âItâs fine. Itâs nothing the maid of honor hasnât heard before.â Olivia replies to her with a chuckle.
âOh my god! I havenât seen you in so long!â When she greets you, you straighten your posture, put on your best smile, and hug her back. âHow are you doing?â
âHey Cassie, good, good, just working my life away!â
You joke and try to ease up your emotions. Your few words manage to satisfy her as she nods with a smile, walks away, and pecks one of the groomsmen â her boyfriend? â on the lips before sitting by his side.
The schedule is easy for Olivia to finish explaining it, so in no time, food starts rolling in, and conversations pop up between everyone, either catching up or normal everyday chats. Cassie starts telling a story about something that happened earlier at her job, but you donât really understand it. You havenât talked to them in so long, you donât know what they do for a living, or where they work. You donât know them anymore, and youâre too afraid to ask.
To the side, a couple of people over, Mingyuâs talking with the rest of the grooms' friends comfortably. You want to talk to him, but what would you say? Itâs not like you were the closest of friends. You never hung out outside of the school, and your friend groups never actually interacted until now. Actually, you never told Olivia and Cassie about him. Maybe because you were afraid that if you introduced him to Cassie, heâd swoon over her like the rest of the guys you ever interacted with romantically.
An uneasy feeling creeps in on you as memories of your past fight to climb up on your memory. Feelings and thoughts you havenât felt in years come back up, almost reliving everything in a matter of milliseconds. You need to talk to someone, take your mind off of your overthinking. Because this is not the time nor the place to get so gloomy.
You get to talk with the rest of the bridesmaids, and the anxiousness of it all starts bubbling down, and youâre much more comfortable. A couple of them are close family friends with Olivia, also as rich as her, but still really nice girls, even if a little airheaded, and the rest are friends from college.
Time passes by easily, and soon enough, the sun is already set.
On the ride back home, your mind starts spiraling again. Do you even fit in with all those people? An invite to her wedding wouldâve been just fine, but a bridesmaid? You feel like a total stranger, someone from her past whoâs meddling around trying to sneak into a place she purposely left behind. At least you wonât have to see anyone ever again after the wedding is over.
It is said that changing your usual routine helps improving your mood, taking another path home, shopping at a new place, sitting down at a different park, trying a new coffee order, changing the little things to feel more energized and be more productive. You wouldnât know, because every task you complete as fast as possible to be back home quickly. So, after days of not being able to think about anything else but the upcoming wedding, itâs your only option left.
With the sky lit up with golden light, the grass and trees as green as ever, and a light breeze that prevents you from getting too hot, you walk around a park youâve never been to before, with your new âhot girl walkâ playlist as a soundtrack. The kids running around the playground are the only sounds that get through your ears besides the music, maybe a bark or two as well, and the sun against your skin soothes all your worries. Damn. Going on a walk does fix your mood.
A hand grabbing your arm softly startles you, and youâre about to punch the mystery person when you recognize his face.
âMingyu?â
His eyes are focused on your fist that was ready to hit him, and you lower it down, beginning to take out your airpods.
âSorry! You scared me!â You erupt in a nervous laughter.
âIâm sorry! I called your name but you didnât hear me.â He stands apologetic in front of you, looking down at his feet before daring to look back up. âHow are you doing? We didnât get to talk the other day.â
âYeah! Itâs good to see you! I didnât expect you to be there, it was a nice surprise.â Is it too weird to say that? Well, itâs already done.
He gets the tiniest bit shy at your words, his ears turning a light shade of pink before disappearing quickly.
You notice a bicycle by his side, a cute pink helmet with glittery heart stickers hanging by the handle. He mustâve been biking when he saw you and took it off before calling your name.
âI didnât know if you were still friends with Olivia, I didnât know if I was going to see you either.â
You fixate on the first part of his sentence, ignoring your bodyâs reaction to him implying he wanted to see you.
âOh, weâre not really that close anymore.â Thereâs a silence as you finish your words, as it wasnât the reply he was expecting. âLife, you know? We just grew apart.â
It was you who stopped making an effort to talk to her, but even if it was still for your own good, youâre a little ashamed to admit it to Mingyu.
âShe still asked you to be her bridesmaid. That must mean something.â Ever the positive guy, he tries to make you feel better after the sour comment.
âYeah, itâs really nice of her.â The sun shining so bright prevents you from looking up at him, but you smile, hoping he can see it.
The slow steps youâve been taking side by side turn awkward with silence. You wanted so badly to talk to him after the other day, but now that heâs here, in front of you, you canât think of anything.
âItâs good that you still hang out with the guys.â
You donât know what else to say, and the words spill out of your mouth. He doesnât seem to notice the awkward atmosphere, his body as comfortable as ever walking by your side.
âYeah, even though not as often as Iâd like.â A regretful smile forms across his lips. âOur schedules havenât been lining up, I met Olivia in person maybe a total of three times over the years.â
âWhat? Thereâs no way you didnât share any classes in school?â
He shakes his head, chuckling at your surprise.
âI think I only ever shared one class with her, but I didnât really care much about her crowd back then.â
âWow, thanks for that.â
He means all the popular guys your friends would hang out with, and you know it, but there was always something so fun in teasing him and seeing him get so pouty.
"You know I donât mean you.â
His shoulder pushes your body lightly to the side, and you chuckle together. Itâs hard to prevent the red from rushing to your cheeks. Maybe heâll mistake it for a faint sunburn.
âThatâs a cute helmet you got there.â Your eyes point to it as a way to distract him.
âOh, that?â He picks it up with what seems to be an embarrassed voice tone, but his actions quickly override it. He puts it on proudly and looks at you with his eyebrows raised, âmy sister gave it to me when I bought the bike, gets all the ladies.â
âI'm sure it does.â
Attention from women he for sure gets, but probably not because of that thing. His tall, muscular body is enhanced by the tight blue t-shirt he's wearing. You didnât get a proper look at him the other day, and now, standing next to him in broad daylight, you almost wish you could still live in the ignorance bliss of not knowing the exact height difference between you two.
âSo, what are you doing around here?â
His words make you realize youâve been staring for a few seconds, and you look ahead, hoping he didnât notice. He forgets to remove the helmet, making you chuckle quietly before answering.
âI just got off from work and thought it would be nice to take a different route home.â
âThatâs such a coincidence! I come here, like, almost every week to bike around.â
âWow, It really is.â
For how long have you been avoiding this specific park for no reason? Pushing away your chance of meeting the one and only person you wouldâve wanted to?
A ping from his phone alerts both of you, taking you out of your little bubble.
âSorry I-" His expression falls as he reads the new text, âI have to get going, but it was really nice seeing you!â
"Oh, sure! I didnât mean to hold you back.â It comes out quieter than youâd like. âGoodbye!â With a simple smile and a tiny wave at him, you turn around.
Right when he gets on his bicycle again, before he starts pedaling, he looks back at you, taking your first step in the opposite direction.
âWait!â When you turn around, heâs taking his phone out of his front pocket, âCan I get your number?â
The both of you blush at his words, and you look up at him cautiously.
âSo we can catch up and, you know, get comfortable with each other for the wedding.â
You had already forgotten about that. The reason you even met him again in the first place.
âSure!â
Your hand trembles slightly when you take his phone, and you mentally beat yourself up for it. Itâs just your number! It could mean nothing.
âIâll text you later so you can save mine.â
And with a wink, heâs off to whatever he was late to.
Great. Now youâre not only re-living your high-school anxieties but also your high-school crushes.
During the following days, you find yourself checking your phone more often than ever, always with the hope that youâll get a new message from Mingyu. Texting almost every day since the encounter at the park, the time when youâre both free to talk has become your favorite part of the day.
It started shyly, merely updating the other about your lives since finishing high school, your jobs, and hobbies. But as time passed, the never-ending conversation eased onto your daily routines. Youâd wake up and text Mingyu, update him as you arrive at work. Lunch, break, evening, clocking out, dinner. Every little free time you got, youâd text each other back and forth.
A text notification cheers you up constantly, thinking that it could possibly be him again. But itâs not always the case, like this time.
Itâs Olivia reminding you that, in exactly 29 minutes, you have the dance rehearsal with all the maids and grooms. Half an hour, and you live 1 hour away from the studio she rented. A little white lie never hurt anyone, so you tell her something came up and you'll be just a little late.
You love weddings, but if you had to choose one thing you donât like about them, it would definitely be the dancing. You canât dance for shit. Youâd tell your right leg to move forward, and your left leg would move backwards, like your body canât comprehend instructions when theyâre related to dancing. Usually, you stay in your seat, choosing not to embarrass yourself in front of all the guests, but this time, you canât get out of it. Poor Mingyu will leave the class with at least five bruises on his feet from you stepping on him.
The dance studio is part of a new, contemporary looking building on the exact geographic center of the city, a place you would always pass by but never thought youâll get to enter. Standing at the front desk, over half an hour late, you feel too out of place. Your clothes are probably wrong, your hair is completely disheveled, you donât remember on which floor is your class, and you donât even know the name of the dance teacher.
After a long discussion with the receptionist, she finally understands what youâre here for and lets you go up to the 13th floor.
The walk from the elevator to the studio feels longer than it actually is. Three to four footsteps become long, slow turtle-like steps. But not even the infinite time you spend taking four steps prepare you for your stomach to drop down to the basement at the sight of Mingyu dancing with Cassie as soon as you open the door.
His hands on her waist, her arms around his neck, dancing slowly in circles, laughing about something she just said, you can almost hear something inside you break. After all this time, nothing really changed.
âHey! Youâre finally here!â
Oliviaâs voice brings you back to earth.
âHi! Iâm really sorry I couldnât get here sooner.â The dance teacher gives you a look, and you lower down your voice, âSo how is this going?â
âWe had to put them together,â she points the dreaded pair, directing your eyes to them once again, âbecause neither you or Tyler were here when we started, but after the songâs over you can join him and Iâll practice with Cassie, okay?â
You nod with the best spirit you can manage to express.
ïżœïżœIs Tyler the guy she was with the other day?â
You donât forget to whisper so the class isnât interrupted by your chatter.
âHeâs the only one of Tom's friends whoâs not from school, donât worry, you didnât erase him from your memory.â
You stifle a laugh before it gets loud.
âGood, I was starting to feel bad about not recognizing him.â
In reality, his existence doesnât matter much to you either way, except for something. âAre him and Cassie a thing?â
âShe says itâs something casual but, and donât tell her about this, I paired them up together on purpose so they can finally realize that they like each other!â
Your lungs clear of air in an instant after hearing those words. Sheâs not available. She has a boyfriend, sort of. A boyfriend who you do not know nor have feelings for.
âYour secret's safe with me.â
âMingyu's nice and all, but if he messes with my plan and charms her, I will personally revoke his invitation to the wedding.â
You both chuckle just as the song finally ends, yours quieter than hers. Both of them see you with Olivia, but only Cassie comes forward to say hi.
âHey girls! Good to see you!â She gives you a little hug before directing to Olivia. âSo⊠Tyler isnât showing up, I assume.â
âHe told me a few minutes ago that something came up and canât come, sorry.â
Her hand flies to Cassie's shoulders to comfort her, but she doesnât seem bummed by the news.
âWell, then, I have something to ask you.â
Her presence suddenly becomes overwhelming as she grins at you with a proposition in mind, seemingly all thought out.
âAre you close with Mingyu? Olivia told me you were classmates.â
How did she know? Maybe you did tell her about him after all.
âHe used to be my lab partner. Why?â
âHow did you not crush on him back then? Heâs such a cutie.â
âI probably did, I donât remember.â Lie.
âCould you find out if he has a girlfriend, pleeease?â
A buzzing sound is all you hear for a few seconds, like your brain forgets how to function. Words donât come out, and youâre freezed in place as Cassie looks at you expectantly. To the side, Olivia looks just as puzzled by her request.
âW-why?â
âBecause, heâs really hot and, if I need a quick rebound because of that other fucker, I need to know Iâm not messing with a relationship.â
Silence is all you produce once again.
âI just need a tiny bit of info, and itâll be weird if I ask him directly, so could you please try?â
âSure⊠Iâll try, but Iâm not promising anything.â
Youâve never sounded less excited about something in your whole life. You love some gossip and some drama, but not if it involves a genuinely nice guy like Mingyu being used. Or maybe itâs just because itâs him.
âThank you, thank you, thank you.â
Cassie jumps excitedly and hugs you once again, just as the dance teacher calls for everyone to gather.
Mingyuâs hands slot carefully at the sides of your waist, guiding you swiftly and sparking goosebumps across your back. Your arms wrap awkwardly around his neck, making him crouch a bit so you can look properly at each other.
âWere you always this good? Or did you become a professional waltz dancer in the half hour I wasnât here?â
You remember him telling you the other day, during your endless text conversations, that he, like you, wasnât particularly excited about dancing.
âLetâs say, hypothetically, that I practiced before coming here, what would that say about me? Hypothetically.â
âIt would say that,â you drown out a cackle before you can continue, âyou take your duty as a groomsman very seriously, hypothetically.â
âGood, I wouldnât want you to think I was a dork, hypothetically.â
âYouâre too late, I already thought that.â
A pout forms on his mouth at your giggles, and he flashes the world's most menacing puppy eyes ever.
âI mean it in the best way possible!â
âIsnât it embarrassing?â
âItâs cute!â
His face shifts with skepticism, sending enough signals saying he didnât like your choice of words.
âItâs charming!â
The warmth his body emanates wraps around you fast. His expectant eyes looking down at you and the closeness of your bodies rises your temperature in record time, your cheeks pinking up furiously. You keep talking as the nervousness takes over you.
âAt least it worked! Youâre a really good dancer, Iâm sorry I keep missing the beats.â
âYouâre giving me too much credit. Youâre not that bad.â
âNow youâre just lying. My limbs are physically unable to coordinate more than three steps. Youâre guiding me through every single one!â
His hands tighten just the tiniest bit around your waist, like a confirmation for the both of you that theyâre still there.
The teacherâs voice echoes all around you until it finally punctures your bubble, and youâre able to hear the class youâre here for. The steps sheâs explaining for a second time make no sense in your head, too many turns and moves for you (and your body) to comprehend.
âI need all the pairs to practice the final steps again.â
Only her final words make sense on your mind, and when you look towards Mingyu, his hand left its place on your body and is extended at you, his eyes kind yet concentrated back on the dance. You nod, taking his hand with an electrifying rush going through your veins.
Mingyu guides you firmly but with care, moving along the beats of the waltz. With each step, your synchronization improves, and the moves flow along easily, your bodies understanding each other. You canât help but smile as you look him in the eyes, a familiar warm feeling bubbling up inside you.
âYou're doing a really good job.â
His eyes catch yours, a little wrinkle forming by each of their sides before he cracks a smile to match yours. Thereâs something in the way he looks like when paying attention to you, like a spell being casted on you, making you crave more.
âItâs because itâs comfortable with you.â
Your mouth betrays you and sends out the words without checking with your brain, but weirdly enough, you donât fear his reaction. Itâs just the truth.
âWeâre more in synch than you thought.â
You swear you see a glimpse of a smirk before he spins you in his arms.
As you turn and move together through the song, you think your excitement isn't solely because of the rehearsal going well. It could be simply a wish, but a spark of something is definitely lighting up. The way Mingyu holds you, attentive and confident, you can't help to think he feels it too.
âYou think we can be this good the day of the wedding?â
Thereâs more anticipation than curiosity in your voice, remembering youâll keep meeting until then, youâll keep seeing him.
Mingyu reaches closer until his warm breath fans your ear and his lips graze your cheek.
âWe could meet a few days before and practice, like I hypothetically did today.â
âYou think I need practice?â You tease to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.
âMaybe itâs an excuse to see you again.â
A mix of shyness and giddiness overtakes you as you giggle at his proposition. But in the midst of your interaction, you skip a crucial move and begin to turn, stepping right on one of Mingyuâs feet and almost tripping over to the side. His hand secures you by the waist, the hem of your t-shirt raised just enough so his fingers brush your fiery bare skin.
âOk, maybe I do need the practice too.â
The teacher talks to you on the background, but itâs hard to concentrate on anything other than Mingyuâs touch lighting fires across your body, his worried eyes over your âalmostâ fall, and his smile when he realizes youâre laughing at your clumsiness.
The music starts over, and you only realize it because his hand is extended at you once again.
âLetâs give it another try.â
âSo, you didnât get to ask him?â
âIâm sorry, I forgot about it. I was so focused on learning the dance that it slipped my mind.â
Running into Cassie coming out of the subway was the last thing you expected (and wanted) right now. Trying on dresses is the one bridesmaid related thing you were least excited about. So many hours of putting clothes on and off, picking colors, showing the rest of the girls, giving your opinion on their dresses, and listening to their opinions on yours. It just sounds so exhausting. But your mental pep talk got interrupted when Cassie saw you walking up the stairs of the station heading to the bridal shop.
âItâs okay, donât worry about it.â
âHe didnât say anything that would imply he has one, if that helps.â
More than a helping hand to her, you're starting to hope heâs single too.
âThatâs good to know, thank you.â
âI donât really get why you wanted to know, though. I thought you had a boyfriend.â
âHeâs not... I mean, itâs not like, official. I wanted him to get jealous, but I'm over that now.â
âOh, so... you talked about it with him?"
âKind of... he just explained why he couldnât come to the rehearsal, and I just, couldnât get mad at him simply for that, right?â
âRight...â
You know virtually nothing about their ârelationshipâ, or about him for that matter, so itâs maybe for the best to stay out of their⊠thing.
âAnyway, about today, do you have something in mind for your dress?â
âNot really, I was just thinking of browsing through the store and seeing what they have.â
âWow, really? Youâre so chill about it. I have a pinterest board with all the styles and shapes I like. I even checked their online store to see what they have in stock beforehand.â
âThatâs⊠actually really smart.â
âNah, donât be nice. Did you at least think of a color? Olivia wants all of us to be different colors, but in pastel, obviously. I personally didnât really care about it, but I chose pink after some thought.â
âOh, actually, I didn't know that.â
âItâs okay, you can decide when we get there.â
âDid the rest of the girls choose already?â
âMaybe? I havenât had the chance to ask them.â
âI hope I donât get green then, I donât really like how it looks on me.â
âYouâll look amazing either way. Donât let a simple color wear you down!â
Small talk with Cassie turns out to be quite nice in the short walk you have up to the store. It's a pretty shallow conversation, but not at all stressful like you thought.
The place is really fancy looking, tall glass windows and blinding white interior. It makes you take a breath just by looking at the displayed dresses. Relieved that Olivia said multiple times that sheâll take care of everything and not to worry about the prices, you and Cassie walk inside.
You didnât expect every girl to be already there, and you especially didnât expect the groomsmen to be also all there. The girls browse through racks and racks of different shaped and colored dresses, and the men are sitting back, talking with one another, waiting for their bridesmaid to ask for their opinion.
Cassie goes straight to greet Mingyu with a hug. Even if he isnât the closest one to the door. Even if Tyler is there also. And you walk behind her, slowly, shy because of all the people aware of your arrival. You give Mingyu a shy smile as a greet, and he returns it warmly.
After the dance rehearsal all those days back, youâve been hesitant about contacting him again. Thereâs nothing wrong with him. Itâs quite the opposite, actually. Heâs caring, attentive, and kind towards you. You just donât want to fall in your black hole of a crush on him again. especially after Cassie made it clear to you that heâs caught her eye too. Sure, she just told you she made up with her boyfriend, but her actions are already contradicting her words.
Olivia sees you with Cassie and walks quickly towards you two with a smile on her face.
âHey girls! How do you like the store?! Isnât it huge?â
âItâs unbelievable! Iâm gonna need at least two hours to look through all the dresses!â
Cassie answers, staring at the lengthy room in awe. You can feel Mingyuâs eyes on you. Or maybe on Cassie. Regardless, youâre in his line of sight, and it gives you chills.
âWell, you have all the time in the world today. I reserved the whole store for the entire day for all of us, and the staff is also here to help us if needed, so donât worry about asking for help!â
âThatâs amazing!â You both exclaim at the same time.
âThank you!â Cassie doesnât look back and goes straight to the racks of pink dresses. Youâre about to go and walk around as well. Maybe try to find a color that suits you, but Olivia stops you before you can even take a step.
âWait! I got the list of the available colors left for you,â she hands you a sheet of paper with almost everything on it crossed out, âIâm sorry, I know there isnât much left.â
âOh donât worry, itâs fine. I shouldâve picked it earlier. Itâs not your fault.â
Itâs disappointing to see that only two items arenât crossed out. Light teal and pastel green. Green and teal arenât ugly colors by any means, but you always feel awkward when wearing them, so youâve learned to avoid them. The back of your throat itches to close as you think about looking ugly at the wedding, in front of so many people, in front of him.
âI saw some of the teal dresses earlier, and theyâre all super cute! Youâll look amazing!â
âOh, ok, Iâll go check them out. But, just in case, isnât there any way for me to change colors?â
âYou could ask someone to swap with you.â
Your mind instantly goes to Cassie. Earlier, she told you she didnât care which color she wore, maybe she wouldnât mind switching with you. You spot her easily on one corner, asking Mingyu about his opinion. She looks up at him with glittery eyes as one of her hands places itself on his arm. The sight turns your stomach upside down. You want to stop watching the scene as much as you want to break them apart.
Your legs make the decision for you and walk you to where theyâre standing. They donât notice you walking over to them until you speak up.
âHey, sorry to interrupt you guys, but Cassie, could I ask you something?â
Mingyuâs the first one to look up at you, his face lighting up as you interrupt whatever Cassie was saying to him. Sheâs slower, making sure to hang the dress back on the rack before turning to face you.
âWhat do you need?â
There's very little annoyance on her tone, but you donât miss the way her eyebrows arch and her eyes dart to Mingyu, signaling you that she wants some alone time.
âI wanted to ask if you, by any chance, were willing to switch colors with me?â
âWhat happened? Which ones are left?â
âBasically, just green.â
âOh, thatâs such a bummer.â
Thereâs a silence when she finishes talking. You wait for her to continue, blinking at her, but she just doesnât. Her sentence ended there.
âYeah, so, would you swap with me?â
âIâŠâ Her body language turns awkward as she thinks of an answer, side-eyeing Mingyu, whoâs also waiting for her, but with no context to what youâre asking her.
âI just, you said you didnât really care about the color, so I thought you wouldnât mind changing it.â
You huff, not helping the awkward atmosphere around the three of you. Your eyes connect with Mingyuâs, who's silently watching the interaction from the side. You hate that heâs seeing you in such a state, so... desperate for something thatâs not that big of a deal anyway. You need this interaction to be over.
âYouâre right, I did say that,â you can already see where this is going, âbut, I kinda already put my mind to it, and it took a lot of convincing to get Tyler to match with me. He already bought his suit, and I donât want to make him mad by changing everything so suddenly, Iâm sorry.â
âOhâŠâ
You can feel your stomach contracting, your throat threatening to close, your eyes getting ready to be filled with tears. This is so stupid. Itâs just a stupid color. It's a stupid dress youâll never wear again. Why is it affecting you so much?
âWait, Iâm sure Tyler wouldnât mind changing.â
Mingyuâs soft voice sounds closer to you, but you canât really see much with your eyes trained to the ground and vision blurry from tearing up.
âNo, itâs fine, letâs not bother him.â
Blinking away the tears is easy, but looking up and finding a concerned Mingyu makes you feel like jelly. Cassieâs long forgotten as you focus on him, his tall figure watching over you, his hand placed on your shoulder, squeezing lightly, silently comforting you.
âIâll go try and find something I like.â
âI can look with you if you want.â
âNo, itâs fine, you can go back to what you were doing.â
You walk away, leaving him standing there, still worried about your sudden reaction. Cassie is just behind him, waiting for the opportunity to get his attention back.
But you try not to think about him or her while browsing through the store. Trying your best to be positive, to not get dragged down by a simple color choice, or by a friend â if you can call her that â that couldnât help you.
Hours go by, and itâs easier when you focus on other things. You help the other girls decide on their dresses, reacting and applauding, helping them find new ones if they arenât satisfied. Itâs fun, contrary to what you previously thought, itâs like playing a dress up game, except every now and then, itâs Cassie who comes out on the make-shift runway, and the first opinion she asks for is always Mingyu's.
At one point, everyone has already decided, and youâre the only one left. All the girls you helped come together to try and find you the best possible dress, bringing a new one to you with hopeful smiles on their faces every few minutes.
You try them on, eager to find one and be done with it. But, even if they look gorgeous when on the hanger, they always got something that doesnât sit right with you when you put them on. And after trying dress after dress, you grow more discouraged.
Olivia notices how tired you are and tells you that you can come back another day, alone and less anxious, but then again, that would mean stretching the situation for longer than needed. You decide to try on one more dress, one that Olivia picked specifically for you, and if youâre not satisfied, youâll come back with her the next day.
The store lady helps you put the dress on, her sweet smile never fading, even if itâs the tenth dress she helped you put on already. The pastel green silk fabric glides smoothly over your skin, hugging you in the right places as the lady zips it up. Your backâs facing the mirror, too afraid to look in it again and find another disappointing result.
âSweetheart, I think this is the one.â
The kind womanâs voice startles you, but her honest smile makes you believe her words. You inhale deeply, calming yourself before turning around. But instead of looking at your reflection, you walk outside the changing room and onto the lobby.
Every pair of eyes is on you the moment you step out, your arms wrap around your torso in an effort to shield yourself, and you can feel your cheeks being painted a bright red color. A few gasps are heard, and when you look around, the girls who helped you are all covering their mouths, eyes wide as they watch you cautiously strolling forward.
At the back of the store, itâs like time stops for Mingyu. Whatever he was doing, forgotten at the sight of you. He was unaware of how much your appearance could affect him. His eyes are trained on you, allured by your figure, scanning you up and down like a piece of art worth studying.
Buzz erupts all around you, mumbles and praises about your dress and how you look in it, but itâs all background noise for you. Mingyuâs heavy stare finds yours, and his ears turn a faint shade of pink. The subtlest smirk begins to form on his lips, spreading the warm feeling on your tummy all across your body. He canât seem to drive his eyes away from you, and you donât want him to. Your arms relax under his gaze, disarming the protective shield around you and drop to hang by your sides.
But, in a matter of seconds, the girls swarm around you, blocking all 360 degrees around you. Their positive opinions flood your ears as they walk you back to the dressing room, trying to convince you to choose this dress. You canât look back, but youâre sure all the groomsmen left together.
Doesnât matter. Youâre definitely getting this one.
After spending the whole day shopping together, it marvels you how these girls still want to spend time together. When they noticed all the boys left, they planned an impromptu girls' night at Oliviaâs apartment.
Itâs amazing how they can spend hours and hours talking with each other, a few drinks here and there, never running out of topics, entertaining you when youâre too tired to talk.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket, and you sit back on your side of the couch to read the new text.
Mingyu: hey, how are you?
Mingyu: sorry i couldnât stay today, they dragged me to a boys night
Everything that happened a few hours ago flashes through your mind, waking a giddy smile on your face as you reply.
You: why are you sorry?
You: the girls wanted to do a âboys freeâ night, weâre at Oliviaâs rn
Mingyu: i didnt want to leave before making sure you were okay
Oh.
You: im better now
You: it was fun helping the other girls, took my mind off of it
You: but thank you, you didnt have to worry
Mingyu: good to know :)
Mingyu: next time ill drive you home
You: drive me home? Will i sit on the bike's handlebar?
Mingyu: i was thinking more like a piggyback ride
You: hmm... ill have to think about it
You tune back to the conversation before anyone notices you not paying attention, having no idea what turns the topic has taken in the time you werenât listening.
âI think heâs definitely seeing someone.â
The girls divided into two groups with different conversations going on, but sitting in front of Cassie, you can only hear her side of the table. They might be talking about Tyler and their ârelationshipâ problems.
âI really donât think he is. He didnât use his plus one you know.â
A smile forms in your mouth when your phone vibrates in your hand once again.
Mingyu: can you believe the weddingâs so close already
You: times moving so fast
You: i cant believe its less than two weeks away
Mingyu: it feels like it was only yesterday that tom told me he was getting married
âBut today, he didnât seem at all interested, he was really out of it from the start.â
âMaybe seeing dresses all day is not his thing.â
âNo but like, I tried every move on him, and he didnât even bat an eye.â
Bits and pieces of the still going conversation manage to register on your mind, and you realize theyâre talking about Mingyu, unaware of your current chat with him.
You: is the boys only hang out getting boring? Its not very polite to be on the phone you know
Mingyu: theyre all playing games, havent looked my way in over 30 mins
Mingyu: besides i much rather talk with you
You: well i wont argue with that
Mingyu: you seem bored too
You: youâre definitely helping me get through the night
âMaybe heâs just not interested in you.â
Olivia teases Cassie, even though her comment is more than just a joke. But why is Cassie so adamant on wooing Mingyu if, according to Olivia, she really likes Tyler?
âIâll be the judge of that.â
Mingyu: you know what I just realized
Mingyu: I forgot the dance routine already
You: omg me too
You: we might have to meet to practice like you said
Mingyu: we can do it at my place
Mingyu: you up for it?
You: i should ask you that
You: your feet are going to suffer because of me
Mingyu: thatâs a risk im willing to take
Mingyu: but I gotta warn you, I take my practice very seriously
You: sure, you can carry me back to my apartment after we're done
Sitting on Mingyuâs couch, waiting for him to get back from the bathroom, youâre too tired to do anything else than looking around his living room. Itâs so him. The warm and neutral colors make everything feel cozy, with pictures of him and his family hanging on the walls â no ambiguously romantic photos with unfamiliar girls, and everything is so tidy, not one pillow out of place, even after practicing for over an hour. Out the window, you can see the sun starting to set, and the buildings across the street start lighting up. You recognize all of them.Â
All this time, heâs lived so close to you. His building barely a ten minute walk away from yours. You canât help but wonder, what wouldâve happened if you kept in touch, if you just walked two more minutes to the park he frequents, or sent him a follow request on Instagram the few times he popped up on your recommended. It comforts you that at least you have this chance to reconnect with him, to make things right.Â
But sounding confident over text is easy, and now, youâve only danced for the whole time youâve been here, barely even talked about anything else.Â
Itâs conflicting, the guilt of meeting with Mingyu behind everyoneâs back â even if itâs no oneâs business â, the excitement of seeing him alone after weeks of only wedding related stuff, and the actual need to practice the dance so you donât embarrass yourself, all colliding in your mind, making everything awkward for you.Â
Like ten thousand spectators, the windows of every apartment watch you through the glass, just sitting, waiting. Mingyu left only a couple of minutes ago, but after the many times you stepped on him, you wonder if heâs actually hurt.Â
âAre you okay? Tell me if I need to call a doctor for your feet!âÂ
You shout with your head looking towards the bathroom door. His chuckle travels all the way to your ears before he opens the door.Â
âIâm fine, I swear.âÂ
As he comes out, your body tingles with nervousness once again. He sits beside you on the couch, unknowingly making your head spin.Â
âYou sure? I donât think feet are supposed to withstand all of that.âÂ
âIâm okay, just tired, why donât we rest for a bit?âÂ
They way he sits, on his side, facing you, and his arm resting on the back of the couch, your eyes canât help but wander to where his arm muscles start showing. Every variation of the phrase âbutterflies in your stomach" could describe the way you feel as he watches you, paying so much attention that you mumble your next sentence.Â
âThis couch is way too comfortable. It makes me want to just stay here the rest of the day.âÂ
âLetâs do it! We can even have dinner here. If we order take out, we can tell them to leave it at the door.âÂ
âThat sounds nice, but one of us will have to go get it.âÂ
âWhen my roommate comes home, heâll bring it inside for us.âÂ
âOh my god, you have a roommate? When is he coming back? I donât want to be a bother.â You look towards the entry hallway, like heâs about to come in and kick you out.Â
You really donât want to leave, Mingyuâs company is already becoming one of your favorites, but you hadnât counted on being around another person, and in their home for that matter. You start to get up from where youâre sitting, worried about having overstayed your welcome, but Mingyuâs hand grabs yours softly and drags you back down.Â
âI invited you here. Itâs not like youâre trespassing.âÂ
âBut Iâve been here for hours, is it not too much?âÂ
âI guess I don't want you to leave.âÂ
His hand hasn't let go of yours, his skin against yours waking up your whole nervous system. You like how it feels when heâs looking at you, but you canât help feeling too observed under his gaze.Â
âShould we practice one more time?â You get up as your other hand takes Mingyuâs free one to try and get him off the couch too. He doesnât fight your push, but you still struggle to move him barely an inch.Â
âNow that I think about it, my feet do really hurt.âÂ
When he stands up, your hands dreadly separate as you go press play on the song you had paused earlier.Â
âYouâre a big and strong man, you can handle one more dance.âÂ
The music starts slowly, and when you turn around to go where Mingyuâs standing, heâs quick to put his hands around your waist and bring you to him.Â
Like that day in the dance class, your bodies are quickly coordinated. Youâve been over the same dance for over an hour now, so at this point, every step is engrained in your muscle memory forever.Â
âWhy donât you take the lead on this one?â He mightâve felt your sudden confidence in the moves, but fails to realize itâs only because youâre doing it with him.Â
âDo you have a death wish? The last time I tried to take the lead on a dance like this, it ended really badly.âÂ
âBut youâre doing good now! Iâm sure it couldnât have been that bad.âÂ
âDonât you remember the senior prom? When I made my date trip and he fell onto the chocolate fountain? He got completely covered in melted chocolate.â He shakes his head, making you more confused. âHe dislocated his shoulder. You really donât remember?Â
âI donât-â He chuckles at your story but stops his words when he realizes you donât get what he wants to say, âWe left early.âÂ
âOh⊠I guess you had a good time with your date.â Thinking about him with someone else puts a bad taste in your mouth.Â
âI didnât have a date, I went with the guys.â Somehow, thatâs less believable than you being a good dancer.Â
âI vaguely remember seeing you dance with a girl. Is my memory failing me?â You remember because you hated it.Â
âMaybe I did dance with someone, but I couldnât score a real date.âÂ
âYou canât be serious.âÂ
âI am! Why donât you believe me?Â
âBecause I knew at least ten girls who had a crush on you back then.âÂ
The dance is already forgotten. None of you make the effort to go over the moves. With your arms hanging around his neck and his hands holding on to your waist, youâre just going around in slow circles, eyes connected as your talk turns into something more.Â
âWell, I wasnât interested in them.âÂ
âBut still, you couldâve easily gotten a date.â You could let the subject go, and maybe you should, but you really want to make your point. âI wouldâve gone with you.âÂ
âDonât say things you donât mean.âÂ
âBut I mean it.âÂ
âYou wouldnât have gone with me.âÂ
âYou donât know that.âÂ
âYes I do!â His tone gets serious, and it just makes you more desperate to make him understand. He needs to know heâs wrong.Â
âNo, you donât! You would know if you had asked!âÂ
âI wanted to!Â
You stop in your tracks, looking straight into his eyes, seeing little hints of shock on his face as he realizes what he said. If your bodies were closer, youâre afraid he could feel that you stopped breathing for a second.Â
âWhy didnât you?âÂ
âBecause I knew at least ten guys who had crushes on you back then,â youâre about to shut him off, but he continues, âand you did end up going with one of them.âÂ
âSo, you did see me.âÂ
âYeah, didnât stay much after that."
None of you know what to say, as your minds work tirelessly to understand what this conversation means.Â
âYou really shouldâve asked me.â Thereâs so much more you want to say, but you simply canât.Â
âYou were kind of popular and, I donât know⊠It messed with my head.âÂ
âI didnât care about those stupid labels, and I thought you didnât either.âÂ
âI know you didnât, but I wasnât a confident kid back then, I couldnât just go up to the girl I liked and ask her out.âÂ
Your jaw reaches the floor after hearing those words. The girl he liked?Â
Speechless for a few seconds, you can only look at him, trying to figure out if he meant to say those words specifically. He seems to be proud of what he said, showing no sign of regret.Â
âSo, now that youâre all grown upâŠâ you dare to let your fingers caress the skin at the base of his neck, and his hands tighten around you at the touch.Â
âOne would think that, after so many years, things wouldâve changed but-âÂ
âI donât believe youâre not confident by now.âÂ
âThat did change, but apparently, other things didnât, even after growing up.âÂ
He tilts his head to the side cockily, his piercing gaze making you feel hot all over.Â
âMaybe some things arenât meant to change.â Like an adrenaline rush, itâs your turn to feel confident as one of your hands starts playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. âI'm starting to discover some things are not that different for me either.âÂ
âCould it be, perhaps, the same thing Iâm talking about?â His arms wrap around your waist, bringing you closer to him little by little.Â
âHmm, I donât know, youâre being very vague, I could be talking about still enjoying country music.â You joke so he doesnât notice your heart beating twice as hard as normal.Â
âI think you know what I mean.â His smirk is one new thing about him, not that youâve never seen it before, but the reason behind it makes it way more thrilling to see now.Â
âI want to hear you say it.âÂ
âYou really didnât know? I mean, back then, I always thought I made it obvious.â His chuckle sends shivers down your spine.Â
âI wish I did.â You canât help but think about how your life would be if you made a move on him all those years ago. âBut I never said anything either, I was shy too.âÂ
âGood thing we can make up for the time we lost.â
His droopy eyes send you down a spiral you have a hard time coming back from, all your insides becoming putty, feeling his want through his embrace, but thereâs still one more thing to get to.Â
âYou know⊠you say youâre so confident now and whatnot, but I still havenât heard you say it.â The look you give him is all he needsÂ
âFine, you win, I used to like you, and seeing you again made me realize I still kinda really do, Iâm always eager to get your attention and to spend time with you.â He pauses to take the quickest breath ever, all while youâre losing yours. âI know weâre not the same people as back then, but if you want to, we can get to know each other, again, more mature and less stupid. I have my regrets about how I handled my feelings in the past, but I wonât make the same mistakes again. And I will ask you on a date after the wedding, just a heads up.âÂ
âWow, I was fine with just an âI like youâ, but itâs nice to see youâre just as down bad for me as I am for you.â You confess with a joke because, how can you possibly answer that? Your brain is barely receiving enough oxygen as it is.Â
âAnd one last thing, I really, really, really, want to kiss you right now.âÂ
âThen why are you not doing it?âÂ
It takes a second for the words to register in his head. A second where you only look at each other, almost not believing whatâs happening. The air around you gets so thick, so hot, almost unbearably heavy. And just when your hands begin to push his head your way, his lips attack yours. Â
All the resurfacing feelings come to life, colliding like a thousand stars that have been running to meet for millions of years. His arms around you bring your body closer to his, forcing you on your tiptoes to follow his lead while his hair tangles between your fingers.Â
It's surprisingly slow, yet hungry and desperate, making the other feel everything through the connection of your lips. You move along with him naturally, and when he bites your lower lip as a request for access, you donât hesitate. His hands creep under your shirt just as his tongue dares to move past your lips, exploring your whole body to his liking.Â
Your chests flush together, leaving little to no space between your bodies, and you can do nothing but melt in his embrace. Your hands wander around his arms and back, touching and feeling every muscle they encounter on their way. When his hands travel down your lower back and reach your ass, you sigh on his lips and immediately feel his smirk against you.Â
A furious knock on the door makes you both jump and separate, leaving you looking at each other, breathless and with confused faces, until you hear a knock again, as strong as the first one. Thatâs when Mingyu decides to check his phone and sees it's his roommate, who had apparently forgotten his keys. Both a blessing and a curse.Â
âBro, what the hell? Iâve been calling you for about 15 minutes.â You hear the door opening, followed by a new, deep voice.Â
âI told you I had company.â Their voices echo through the hallway.Â
When they finally reach the living room where youâve been awkwardly trying to make yourself look presentable, the roommate's face morphs into something, a mix of surprise and realization. You rush to gather your stuff after muttering some variation of âhelloâ and 'goodbye' to him. Your heart still pumps twice as fast as normal, and you donât trust youâll be able to handle yourself if you stay for longer.Â
âIâll see you on the weekend?â Mingyu asks when youâve both reached the entry, his hand on the handle, hesitant to unlock the door.Â
You want to kiss him again so badly. His lips are parted, still swollen, calling to you to connect them with yours again.Â
âFind me when you crash the bachelorette party.â You make your best effort to sound confident and not at all dizzy because of him. Â
âYou know about that?âÂ
âThe bridesmaids know everything... Itâs only a surprise for Olivia.â You peck him goodbye, like a promise for more. And the feeling of his lips on yours lasts all night.
Itâs roughly around 1 am. when a high-pitched scream from Olivia announces to everyone at the bar that the bachelor party has officially arrived.Â
The effects from all the alcohol you consumed in the last 4 hours are just starting to fade, only a little buzz left. But that doesnât prevent you from seeing whatâs happening all the way across the room.Â
Mingyu standing with his hip resting on the barstool, listening to Cassie as she drunkenly asks him something. You want to stop looking, not wanting to let all your previous feelings resurface again, not after the recent development in your relationship with him. But just as soon as youâre about to turn your head the other way, Mingyu interrupts Cassieâs rumbling and tells her something, to which she doesnât respond, nods awkwardly, and just walks away, leaving him standing there.Â
Thatâs your signal to walk over to him.Â
âLooks like I found you first.âÂ
âDamn, I wanted to get you a drink first.âÂ
The music and the people drunkenly signing and shouting makes it hard for your voices to reach the other, and Mingyu takes the opportunity to take a step closer to you.Â
You stand against the bar as the room grows warmer and warmer the closer his body gets to yours. His height taunts you as he stands against the bar as well, forcing you to look up so you can see the smirk on his face. His fingers play with yours as the intensity of his stare increases. You donât care that youâre in public, that anyone from the wedding can see you two. Maybe you want them to.Â
âHowâs your night going?â His hair tickles the side of your face.Â
âIt was really fun, I might be growing fond of the girls." You donât remember much, just a vague memory of many different games you played to get drunk, and the feeling of being happy. âHow about yours? Donât tell me you went to a strip club or something like that.âÂ
âActually, we did a drunk escape room, didnât even know those existed until today.â
The closeness between you is getting more worrying by the second, mainly because if you hear his low chuckle next to your ear one more time, you might pass out.Â
âThat sounds horrible!â You chuckle away from his personal space, only to encounter his hungry eyes already looking at you.Â
âIt was fun, I wish you couldâve been there.â His honesty has a sultry tone to it that makes your lungs completely empty of air.Â
âIâm not sure we wouldâve made a good team.âÂ
âWhy? Youâre smart! Or at least you were back then.âÂ
âHey! I still am!âÂ
âI really have to get to know this new you.â
The pink and blue lights reflect on his face, giving him the most beautiful sparkles on his eyes, directed at you.Â
âItâs not that new, Iâm still very introverted, donât talk much when thereâs a lot of people around.âÂ
âI like that, youâre observant, good thing to be while in a escape room.âÂ
âWeâre still talking about that?âÂ
âMaybe, maybe not, I donât really care, I just wanted to spend time with you.âÂ
âAre you drunk?â You can only ask with a smile plastered on your face, but he shakes his head.Â
âYou kinda make me feel like Iâm a teenage boy again, I donât know how to explain it.âÂ
âI think I get it.â You place your hand on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart under it, even harder than the music blasting out of the speakers.Â
âYou know, back then, every time I had a free period, I would make my friends walk past whatever class you had, just to get to see you, at least for a second.â Out of everything heâs drunkenly confessing, this may be the one that surprises you the most because you really never realized he felt the same. He notices you freezing in place. âOnce they found out, I was relentlessly bullied by them.âÂ
âI sure hope it was worth it.â If the lighting was any better, he'd be able to see the cherry red covering your cheeks and ears.Â
âEvery second of it.â Everything around the two of you moves slower, like timeâs stopping only for the outside world, and the muffled background noises do nothing to pierce the bubble around you. âI really want to take you on a date, a real one.âÂ
âI would very much like that.âÂ
You can see the gears turning through Mingyuâs eyes, and you move your eyes down to his lips so he can take the hint. But nothing happens as someone else enters your little world.Â
Oliviaâs aware that somethingâs going on, her eyes switching back and forth between the two of you before she speaks.Â
âI need your help, Iâm sorry to interrupt, but Iâm getting worried about her.âÂ
âAbout who? What happened?â Mingyu stays behind you as you turn to Olivia, grabbing one of your hands, and his warmth gives you goosebumps.Â
âItâs Cassie, sheâs been sitting alone in the restroom for I donât know how long, she's way too drunk and I canât take care of her.â
You now realize sheâs slurring her words, meaning sheâs also too drunk and therefore canât take care of another drunk person, leaving you no choice but to go help Cassie. You look back at Mingyu, who encourages you to go, even if it takes a little too long for his hand to let go of yours.Â
The graffitied restroom provides you with a little more light than the rest of the place, and when you enter, you recognize Cassie sitting on the floor inside one of the stalls. Luckily thereâs no one guarding the bathrooms because if sheâs seen throwing up, it could potentially get you both kicked out.Â
You sit on the dirty floor beside her without saying a word, letting her know youâre here to help without giving her a headache. Her foreheadâs resting on top of her knees as she hugs her legs tightly. But after a minute or two of silence, you decide itâs best to check if sheâs at least awake.Â
âCassie? Are you okay?â Your hand on her shoulder makes her look up at you.Â
âI donât feel so good, I just want to sit down for a while.â She sounds tired, her husky voice giving away all the talking and singing sheâs been doing all night.Â
âDo you need anything? I can get you a cup of water.âÂ
âNo, please, just stay here a bit, I didnât want anyone to see me but I donât want to be alone.âÂ
âOk, Iâll stay, let me know if you need something, anything.âÂ
Time passes by, the music making it easier for you to not get bored. A few people enter the restroom from time to time, too drunk or too in a hurry to notice you both sitting down. Olivia passes by the door a few times, hovering, checking if everythingâs okay (and if youâre still in the same position as the previous time). You just smile and nod, letting her go back to her party time and time again. But at last, in one of her check-ins, she finally walks inside.Â
âHey, Mingyuâs looking for you!â Both you and Cassie look up at Olivia, but her eyes point at you. âWhat do I tell him?âÂ
You instinctively look to Cassie by your side, and her expression falls.Â
âDonât, donât go with him.â She finds the strength to plead to you, but she seems more worried than anything.Â
âWhy? Did he do something? Is that why youâre hiding here?â Olivia asks, and you realize she didnât leave after you didnât answer her.Â
âNo, no, I mean, yes Iâm hiding from him, but he didn't do anything, it was me, I embarrassed myself.âÂ
âWhy are you telling me not to go with him then?âÂ
âDo you like him?âÂ
âI-â Wow, blunt question out of the blue.Â
âYou can be honest, itâs fine.âÂ
âYeah, I do, I like him.â
Telling them, her, the truth feels kind of freeing. Finally admitting in front of them that you like someone, after not being able to for so many years, itâs like you can finally breathe.Â
âThen, for your own good, donât go with him, heâs seeing someone.âÂ
âWhat? How do you know?â That freedom lasts barely seconds before a new weight falls right on top of your lungs.Â
âHe told me, when the guys got here, he said that heâs been after a girl for years and they recently started going out.âÂ
âAre you sure? Did he use those words?âÂ
âIâm not saying it verbatim, I donât remember it exactly word for word, but thatâs what he meant.âÂ
Could he possibly be talking about you? How recent is ârecentlyâ supposed to mean? You havenât even started officially dating. Is confessing your feelings considered the start of dating? Is it supposed to be this confusing? Are you going to believe her? Not that Cassieâs a liar, but you donât know the context nor the exact words he used, and she doesnât know what happened between you and him either.Â
âShould I go tell him something?â Olivia's already standing up, your silence not helping the situation.Â
âJust-" You donât want to push him away, but itâs not the time to resolve this. The whole thing is too confusing to be making desperate decisions at this hour of the night, âTell him to go have fun with the guys, Iâm getting Cassie home.âÂ
The loudest alarm you couldâve ever set up wakes you up with a jump. Your head hurts like your inside out emotions are building houses inside your skull. But the memories still hit you as soon as your eyelids burst open. Some decisions were definitely made the night before. Wrong ones? Thatâs to be seen today.
And thanks to the gods and Oliviaâs always late waking family, youâre not supposed to be at the venue until 11 am. Only bad news, Itâs on a luxury complex outside the city. You have time for a real breakfast and a shower, but all the thinking and feeling will have to wait.
You unlock your phone to find the last text conversation open and the messages you barely remember sending stare at you through the dim screen.
Mingyu: you left so suddenly
Mingyu: everything ok?
You: yeah
You: had to take Cass to her place, she wasnât feeling well
Mingyu: thatâs too bad, hope she feels better
Mingyu: you just got home?
You: yep, about to go to bed
Mingyu: great, just checking before i head to sleep
Mingyu: sleep well, big day tomorrow
Admittedly, you were a little dry. Cassieâs words were still lingering on your mind, making you doubt everything. One side of your brain telling you that he was probably talking about you, he explained what he felt and what he wanted and sounded sure and truthful. But, the other part of your brain, the still self-conscious and self-doubting side, also makes valid points. The void years in between your relationship werenât mentioned in his confession, and you technically arenât dating. He hasnât even asked you out yet! Itâs too conflicting. But you know you have to face both of them today. After the ceremony.
The taxi ride to the venue is not only long but full of traffic. The sun shining bright directly to your face, the light humming of the driver to the songs of the radio and the occasional car horn on the distance, somehow make it bearable, with all the thoughts about the previous night, switching sides between the he said she said, itâs nice to have something constant while your minds goes on a rollercoaster.
A rollercoaster that doesnât stop even when you arrive. As soon as you step foot outside the car, Oliviaâs mom rushes you upstairs to where the make-up artists set up. Thereâs no time to admire the beautiful countryside venue. You walk past the door to where the ceremonyâs going to be held later, but rush up the stairs without even looking. The green dress already waiting for you at the door, an infinite echo of voices and even more people running around make the atmosphere feel dizzying.
Nothing slows down for even a second. Even when youâre sitting down having your make-up done, around you thereâs only people rushing to do everything, stressing about the little details, people running into the room to tell Olivia or her mom about decorations, the wedding planner coming in and out constantly, checking everythingâs in order. Itâs kind of beautiful how all this mess has the sole purpose of making today the best day for the couple. Even if it doesnât look like it, no one will remember the dress that wasnât properly ironed, or the string of hair that had too much hairspray on it, or the too slippery shoes that made it a chore to walk on the tiled floor.
So much chaos happens between the hair and make-up, and then with the photoshoots, you donât have time to talk to Mingyu. Your eyes would cross from time to time, but those milliseconds of him in a suit glaring at you from across the room are enough, and thereâs so much of that you can take before an internal chain reaction begins.
The walk downstairs, after all the make-up retouches and fixes to any rebellious stray hair that didnât want to stay in place, feels like the first calm and slow moment of the day. As the steps get closer and closer to the bottom floor, the red carpet muffling the clicking of your shoes, your insides feel fire-like when you see Mingyu waiting for you by the final step, an unknowing smile on his face. His eyes drill holes on your figure, scanning you up and down shamelessly.
âYou chose this one, I like it.â He whispers by your ear as you walk to the door, where every pair is already waiting. A little smile shows on your face, but it fades when your eyes encounter Cassieâs, watching the two of you with a frown so little you only notice because she immediately relaxes her face.
The music starts before you can say anything to Mingyu, and one by one, each of the bridesmaids start walking down the aisle, arms linked with the groomsmen, gracefully walking forward as the eyes of every guest fall on them. Your arm tangled with his is the first touch you share since many days ago, and even with all the conflict making your mind a blur, your heart speeds up at the feeling of his muscles.
Nothing seems slow anymore, and the ceremony almost goes by without noticing. There isnât one second where you donât feel Mingyuâs eyes on you, making it impossible to focus â or pretend to focus â on what the priest is saying.
The moment your brain reconnects with your ears, Thomas delivers the most beautiful vows youâve ever heard. You met the guy only once, never even spoken to him, but the way he speaks so fondly about Olivia makes your heart clutch in your chest, and your throat tries to fight it, but you end up bursting with tears. But youâre not the only one with a cascade of dramatic tears falling with seemingly no end. As the room fills with applause and even some whistles at the first kiss between the officially married couple, you see some people with tissues, quietly blowing their nose.
But the never-ending rush in time continues, everyone sprinting to sit at their tables for the reception. The last retouches of make-up get done quickly. The girls gossip to kill the time before the dance, because for them itâs moving so slowly, but in the blink of an eye, youâre going out the door once again, just as Cassie taps on your shoulder. You turn to her, expecting her to be angry, or at least to start speaking, but it looks like sheâs still figuring out what to say.
âThank you, for taking care of me last night, Iâm sure you wouldâve preferred to enjoy the party.â
âI wasnât going to leave you alone, itâs fine, you donât have to thank me. Are you feeling better?â
âYeah, I am! But actually, I wanted to apologize.â Your head spins, dizzy from the world suddenly stopping hearing her words. âI didnât know there was something going on between you two.â
âThereâs not- I mean, not much happened, I didnât want to cause a fuzz over it.â
âBut you shouldâve told me you liked him, at least! If I knew about it, I wouldnât have gone after him.â You see in her eyes nothing but honesty. âI know weâre not as close as before, but these are the things we need to tell each other. Itâs the girl code.â
âI donât really know why I didnât, I know I shouldâve, I didnât know how.â Youâve now started to go downstairs to the reception, already the time to dance in pairs.
âLook, itâs okay if youâre not comfortable telling me this, but did something happen? Was he talking about you last night?â
Youâve reached where everyone is waiting, and youâre too embarrassed to look up and possibly find Mingyu standing there, leg-melting and breathtaking.
âI thought about it but I donât know, maybe?â
Back at the reception, the music starts, signaling the newlyweds are about to begin their first dance, meaning in no time youâll have to step in and dance around them.
âIâm going to ask you three questions and you just have to answer yes or no. There's no need for explanation, okay?â
âOâŠKay?â
âSo, you two knew each other in school, did you like him?â You nod shyly, not looking in her eyes, embarrassed to be talking about this so openly, âDid he like you?â You nod again, âAnd did something happen recently that would indicate that he would like to date you in the near future?â
You give her a final nod and finally look up at her. She sighs, taking your hand and squeezing it to make you pay attention.
âThen he meant you dummy! Go, talk to him. Heâs been staring at you all day like a lost puppy.â
When you dare to look his way, where you just knew he was standing, heâs looking at you, a little smirk on his lips and subtly motioning he's ready to take your hand. You didnât notice it was already time, and everyone around you stands in their position.
The pairs start entering one by one, and your smile trembles, feeling the eyes of every guest on you. Your fingers barely graze his, but they feel raw, like you can feel every particle of his hand below yours. The electric fire emerging from where your skin connects with his runs through your veins in record time.
But as soon as the music starts and Mingyu turns you so youâre looking at him, everything is forgotten. The steps come easily, his eyes calm but observing, his hand on your waist guiding you as he did every time you practiced.
âYouâve been avoiding me.â He whispers, not wanting to disrupt the moment, but knowing itâs the only time youâll get alone.
âI swear I didnât mean to.â
You panic. There was so much to do and so few words you could come up with to say to him that maybe you unconsciously avoided him by locking yourself up in the make-up room.
âDid I do something wrong?â He doesnât sound hurt, but rather just plain curious, eager to work this out between you two.
âNo! it was just a misunderstanding,â he waits for you to continue, but the part of your brain that makes sense starts crumbling, making it impossible to form a coherent argument, âI- can I ask you something? It might sound stupid, Iâm warning you.â
âGo ahead.â He chuckles, his feet continuing to dance while you've already forgotten about it. One of your hands stays on his shoulder, while the other is being held by him, still in the air by your sides, reaching the height of your shoulders.
âYouâre not dating anyone, are you?â
He doesnât let the silence even come close to the two of you, chuckling quietly so youâre the only one who can hear it.
âIâm not, hard to believe I know, but Iâm painfully single.â
âGreat, I just wanted to make sure.â
âI remember telling you I want to take you on a date.â
âY-yeah, of course I remember that too."
The pit of your stomach lights up at the remainder of that afternoon in his home, your bodies as close as they are at this moment.
âThen what made you think that?â
âYou just, you said to Cassie last night that you started seeing someone recently and, I donât know, we didnât technically start dating, so I panicked.â Saying it out loud to him, it sounds ridiculous, but if he thinks that, he doesnât show it.
âOh that, yeah, I mightâve gotten ahead of myself, but hey, think of it as manifesting.â Heâs so charming that you donât care that heâs making no sense.
âNext time, donât tell a drunk girl whoâs flirting with you the wrong information. She might spread it around.â
The synchronized chuckle you let out makes you pay attention to the forgotten situation. Youâre dancing and havenât tripped once, like your muscles got a life of their own and remembered every single step. And you suddenly realize how close your body is to Mingyuâs. One hand down the small of your back, pressing just enough to hold you in his personal space, his face close enough that you could concentrate on his breathing and feel the light exhales on your face.
When the music ends, the applause makes you look around, and your cheeks feel warm immediately, noticing all the eyes on every one of you. But the attention is short-lived, as you and Mingyu walk quickly to your table so the couple can do the welcome toasts. You don't miss how he slides your chair closer to his before you sit down.
Sitting by your side, Mingyuâs body and yours are connected by an electric current, drawing you closer. His knee stays glued to yours, and the cut on the side of your dress allows your bare skin to brush against the fabric of his pants. A conversation takes place between everyone at the table, one of the guys telling a story about something funny that happened with Tom back in high-school, but itâs hard to pay any real attention when Mingyuâs fingers start tracing circles on your knee. Heâs not even doing to be a tease. It seems like itâs a habit of his, one that youâre just discovering. You donât stop your fingers from playing with his, and a subtle smirk forms on his lips at your action.
Itâs not like youâre doing anything too flashy or indecent, but you do your best to mask your reactions to his touches, to try and keep the people of the table unaware of the not so innocent things going on under the fancy tablecloth. He only notices your changes because heâs paying attention to you. The way your chest rises just a tad bit more when his hand goes a little over your knee, or how you drink from your cold glass of water when he presses on the skin of your inner thigh, but when heâs about to move his hand off of you, you put yours on his to keep it in place. You also notice things throughout the night, for example, that Mingyu isnât drinking a lot, restricting to one glass of champagne per serving. You do the same, wanting to remember this night in the future.
Mingyu stands up when the dancefloor opens again, turning down an offer to go to the bar for something stronger than sparkling wine. Instead, he reaches for your hand, silently inviting you to dance with him, to which you agree, with a smile and avoiding his eyes. Following behind him, he doesnât let go of your hand, even when youâve reached the spot he wanted. People join you on the dancefloor, drunkenly vibing to the dj set, surrounding you, and blocking you from anyone you know. Itâs feels almost private. Whatever song is playing on the speakers, it doesnât prevent you from following your own rhythm in your own world. Your arms wrap around Mingyuâs neck, and both of his hands hold your waist, mirroring the evening at his place.
âSo, tell me, what other embarrassing things did you do when you liked me?â
He throws his head back in embarrassment, sighing with a smile before daring to look at you again. His ears turn a light shade of pink, and you swear you can feel his heartbeat between your bodies.
âI really told you that, did I? I was hoping you wouldn't remember.â
âNope, I remember it very vividly actually.â
âLetâs leave the embarrassing stories for the future, I wasnât in my best condition last night.â
âYouâre making me too curious now, but how drunk did you get last night?â
âHonestly, I was just nervous about seeing you and about tonight.â He might be confessing another embarrassing thing, but behind his truthful tone, thereâs something you canât quite decipher.
âWhatâs there to be nervous about tonight?â
Your heels allow you to be in his line of sight, and your chests are too close. If you inhaled deeply, youâd be able to feel him on you. He takes advantage of your new height and forces your attention to go to his lips, smirking shamelessly as he thinks his next words.
âDid I tell you how pretty you look today?"
One hand comes close to your face, removes a strand of hair from blocking your view, and tucks it behind your ear.
âOh, shut up.â
You canât even think of a snarky response, your brain melting and showing just how much he affects you. Goosebumps spread all across your arms and back at the feel of his hand caressing your skin.
âI canât, itâs all Iâve thinking about all day, you, this dress, and you in this dress.â
You instinctively hide your face on the crook of his neck, his cologne invading your senses. Itâs hard to think of words when heâs looking at you like he wants to eat you whole.
âI got it because of you. Do you really like it?â
Not that you need any confirmation, since heâs told you twice already, but it wouldnât hurt to hear it from him one more time. Your reveal makes his smirking lips graze your ear, sending shivers down your spine, and his voice drops an octave to answer.
âI love the dress, but Iâll love it more once I get it off you.â
âI hate you.â
You barely manage to say, your chest rising but breathless at the same time. Your bodyâs automatic reaction is to push him away, and your hands go straight to his chest to try, but of course itâs pointless. His hands catch yours, not letting you leave his personal space. He taunts you by spinning you around, and once you do a full twirl, he grabs you by the waist again and brings your body to his.
âYou have no idea how hard it was for me that day when you stepped out, wearing this.â He gets closer to your ear with every word. You hate it and love it. For one, you can hide from his teasing eyes and blush in peace, but on the other hand, you are cheek to cheek with him, his breath fanning lightly on your side, and you can feel heâs still smirking. âYouâre lucky there were other people in the room.â
A breath catches in your throat, and you swallow hard. You thank all the gods there are out there for being surrounded by drunk people. Because to anyone on their senses, your reaction to Mingyu's words would be too obvious.
âI really hate you right now.â
Itâs getting harder and harder to ignore the heat growing at the pit of your stomach.
âYou donât.â
âI do.â
âI think itâs quite the opposite actually.â
How are you supposed to play hard to get when his hands hold you like he wants to keep you forever?
âYou think you know everything.â
You catch your voice about to tremble when his free hand starts going down the side of your arm, from your shoulder down until your hand, and interlocks his fingers with yours.
âIf you hate me then, I canât tell you the secret Iâve been keeping all night.â
âHave you been secretly writing an article about how to break someoneâs heart in 10 days?â
âI love that movie, but it has been well over 10 days, I couldnât make the deadline.â
âRom-com connoisseur, noted.â You jokingly nod, but not forgetting whatâs important. âNow tell me.â
âSo, you know how they told us there were rooms available for anyone that couldn't drive home?â You nod, too enthusiastically. âI may or may not have booked one for tonight, and if you want to, thereâs space for one more, we donât have to do anything if you donât want toâŠâ He keeps talking, something about you watching him do something, but you get lost in the way his lips move as he talks, so pink and fast and hypnotizing.
âIsnât it rude to just leave?â
The question leaves your mouth more to tease him than anything else. You want to be alone with him so badly, feel his body all over yours, his hands everywhere he can reach, ripping this godforsaken dress off you.
Before the last food serving rolls out and everyone scatters to go back to their seat, you sneak out of the reception, but the drunk bodies are not making it easy. Mingyu leads the way with you grabbing his hand and walking behind him. You donât know if you couldâve managed another teasing touching session under the table.
You take a left turn into the hallway just at the same time as one of Olivia's drunk uncles, a stranger to the both of you, whoâs half asleep using the wall to steady himself as he walks. The music echoes through the walls, and you can only look at each other, half about to burst out laughing and half needing to take the others clothes off, as you walk as nonchalantly as possible past the man trying his best to open his door.
Giggling like teenagers, you finally reach your room at the end of the hallway, but the second you enter, the atmosphere changes. Standing by the closed door, shoes off, panting, and frozen in place, you only look at each other. Your breaths regulate, and your smiles slowly fade off your expressions as the realization hits. Itâs real. Heâs here, and youâre here, in a room just for the two of you. His eyes are bound to your parted lips, but you wouldnât know, as yours are also unable to leave his.
Like magnets, brutally drawn to each other, your lips finally reconnect in a hungry, desperate kiss. After learning how sweet he tastes, how his lips glide over yours so easily, how he wraps his arms around you to keep you close to him, there was only so much time you could spend in abstinence.
No words needed, the want translating in the way your hands push him against you, his hands traveling across your back, touching and groping everywhere he can reach. After the long day testing your patience, neither of you can slow down.
His fang claws at your bottom lip, making you whimper against him. He drinks in any sound you make, his arms bringing your body impossibly closer to his, almost making you one. No one is in control, both of you just touching and grabbing anywhere you can, desperate for more.
Your mouths reluctantly separate as Mingyu starts leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and biting lightly on your sensitive skin, making you gasp. You can only thread your fingers on his hair, encouraging him to leave any marks he wishes to.
âIs this okay?â
His raspy voice travels to your ears, and you donât trust yourself to not make unholy noises if you open your mouth to answer. But just as youâre humming, he digs his teeth just above your clavicle, turning your hum into a moan.
He slowly slides the straps of your dress down your shoulders, his fingers teasing your skin on the way down. His hand travels across your chest, only the silky green fabric in between your fiery skin and his teasing fingers. They go over your pointy hard nipples, feeling everything on its way, but not letting it stay anywhere for more than a second.
âAre you going to take it off?â
Your breathlessness makes him chuckle, smug and cocky as ever.
âRushed?â
âVery. Youâre the one that put the thought in my head, now take care of it!â His hands sneak up your back, playing with the zipper of your dress.
âDonât act so innocent.â His tone goes straight to your core. The fabric around you loosens up as his hand runs down your spine, but he stops before it gets too loose to slip down. âYou think I didnât see the way you looked at me all day? Youâre not slick.â
He takes a step back to take off his suit jacket, absentmindedly throwing it to the side without breaking eye contact. But you don't let yourself get shy.
âWho said I was trying to hide it?â
Your hands run from his shoulders to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt one by one as his breathing speeds up. The warmth of his body envelops your hands, your fingers barely grazing the skin above his pants, and his muscles tense at your touch before you slip his shirt off.
âNow whoâs the one teasing?â
Pulling on the red tie around his neck, he swallows hard as you bring his head closer to yours, so close you unconsciously flutter your eyes closed. His bare chest rises against yours as you undo his tie slowly. You could tilt your chin up and break the tension once more, but something in you wants to keep teasing him.
A step back is all you need to have his lips chase you, and he opens his eyes, droopy and confused, to find you slipping your dress off. His stare turns surprised and hungry as you reveal yourself for him, but his body stays frozen in place.
âIâm supposed to do that.â
Itâs your time to chuckle now, taking a step forward again. His hands slot on your waist instinctively, traveling to your stomach, enjoying the feeling of your soft skin against his hands.
âYouâll get to do it next time.â The sentence is almost left unfinished, a breath getting caught in your throat when his hands dare go up your chest. But theyâre gone in a heartbeat, as they reach your face and tilt it so you can properly look at him.
âAre you sure you want to do this?â No teasing tone on his voice.
âIâm literally naked in front of you.â Your hands go back up to his neck, pushing his head slightly down, reaching a hypnotic closeness. âI want this, I want you Mingyu.â
Confirmation is all he needed to let loose, to let the want take over his body and soul. He connects your lips with force, and wastes no time. With his hands on your ass and his tongue working its way inside your mouth, he stumbles backwards until you both fall on the bed.
With you on top of Mingyu, your hands make their way across his chest, his golden skin glistening due to the sweat. You can feel his hard muscles tense under your touch, making him sigh on your mouth when you find his sensitive spots. His hands move to your hips and push you down on him, making you both moan un unison because of the first friction between your cores.
His growing hard grinds deliciously against you. Even with his pants still between you, you can feel how big he is, and the wet patch on your panties grows by the second. Your lips are still smashed together, a mess of saliva allowing your lips you glide faster and hungrier on his, your tongues becoming one, not wanting to separate ever again.
Your hands find their way down his abdomen, reaching where his pants hang on his hips. The absence of a belt makes it easier for you to unbutton them, and he takes the off expertly, all without ever taking his hands off you.
The second your hand sneaks under his underwear, he groans under you, disconnecting your mouths to take a look at you.
âIs it embarrassing to be already close?â His blood red lips are parted, breathing out his confession, and you almost moan, clenching around nothing because of the sight, or his confession, or maybe the whimper he fights when you wrap your hand around him.
âYouâre so big, fuck.â You sigh, and the side of his mouth quirks up, but slowly disappears as you start sliding your hand down, smearing the precum on his length.
âIâm not gonna hurt you.â
His eyes have a mix of concern and lust on them, and your body doesnât know how to react, your stomach flips, your hands tremble, and your underwear grows wetter.
âI know you wonât.â
You climb down on him, your eyesight reaching where his boxers begin to tent. His gaze follows you, like he canât believe the reality of whatâs happening. You take off the last piece of clothing left on his body, and his dick springs free, standing proud and angry red in front of your eyes. The throb on your throat makes you move forward, wrapping your lips around his leaking tip.
âWait. Donât.â You look up at him but heâs facing the ceiling, ears red and eyes closed. âI canât.â
âI havenât done anything.â You play innocent, and a smirk appears on your face when he finally looks at you, resting on his elbows.
âExactly, thatâs why I canât, I need to have a little bit of pride left.â
âWhat do you suggest we do?â You slowly climb up on him again, his hands moving to your hips like they got a life of their own. One hand on his chest and one hand on his jaw, you kiss him softly, and he melts at your touch.
A soft moan is heard, could be from him, could be from you, but your mind is too clouded to care when he rolls his hips against yours, following the pace of your lazy kiss. A rush of arousal takes over your body when he presses you harder against him, his length sliding perfectly with your core, your wetness making it easier to reach every point that makes you gasp.
âI want,â his lips stop working on yours, but his arms keep you from separating. You feel his every breath, every gasp at the friction, and his lips graze yours when he speaks, âI want to taste you.â
âFuck.â He might just be able to feel the new rush of wetness dampening your panties further and smearing around his hard below you. His hands push your hips up his body. He told you what he wants, and heâs showing you exactly how he wants it. âAre you sure? I donât want to crush your skull.â
âI wouldnât mind that, at least Iâd die happy.â
âWell, I canât argue with that if you want it.â
The chuckle he lets out reverberates from his chest up through your whole body. Thereâs not much you can do besides complying with his wants, especially with the way your bodyâs reacting to the sole idea of it and the way heâs moving you to where he wants.
His hands sneak under the strings of your underwear, and as you climb higher and higher, he removes them easily, leaving you bare on top of him.
âYouâre so wet, shit.â Your pussy pulsates just above his face. You canât see his reaction, but you for sure can hear it, âI wouldâve done this sooner if I knew this was waiting for me.â
From your point of view, his whole face is covered, by you, on top of him, only his messy hair laying on the mattress can be seen. A view thatâs dizzying and hypnotic at the same time, and you canât think of any answer to give him. His breath on your wet core makes you shiver, but youâre afraid to sit down, afraid youâll hurt him.
Mingyu senses your hesitation and gives you no more time to doubt. His head rises until his tongue meets your folds, flattening on you, desperate to make you feel good. The sudden stimulation makes your legs tremble, and you would've fell on his face if it wasnât from his hands still holding your hips.
He starts making out with your cunt, moaning and groaning against it like this is also pleasurable for him. His tongue finds every place that makes you gasp, moan and whimper, and with every lap at your folds, a nasty wet sound accompanies it.
A shaky moan escapes out of you when he envelops your clit with his lips and sucks lightly, making you grab the headboard so you donât fall on him.
You mustâve fully sit on his mouth in your search for support, because he moans louder against your pussy, and you can feel everything. His lips and tongue working to drink every drop of arousal that leaves you, discovering every sensitive spot you didnât know about.
The tip of his nose bumps your clit just as his tongue finds its way inside your pulsing hole, and you instinctively move your hand down to pull at his hair. The action encourages him to go faster, harder, and when you grind on his face and he groans like heâs enjoying it, you let go.
Riding him, chasing your high, youâre using his tongue for your own pleasure. Your hand on his hair tightens, and you lose the little control you had of your throat. But the unfiltered sounds you make just push him harder. Every one of your senses is clouded. The wet sounds, the way he moans against you, his tongue already knowing where to go to make you squirm, everything culminates without warning.
You cum on his tongue faster than you have ever before. Your thighs tremble at either side of his head, and you realize youâre crushing him between them. But he doesn't let you get up. His tongue continues to work on you,
He cleans you up, drinking every last drop of arousal smeared on your skin. You spasm over him every time he ânot so accidentallyâ flicks your clit with the tip of his tongue, starting to get you overstimulated.
You use the strength you have left to push his head back, and take advantage of his surprise to plop down on his side, your back on the mattress and your pussy finally away of his eager mouth.
âAre you okay?â
From the corner of your eye, while you try to recover, you see Mingyu doing his best to clean the lower side of his face.
âYeah, fuck, that was a lot.â You manage to say in between breaths. âI need a second.â
âIf youâre too tired, we can st- fuck.â
You donât give time to overthink, quickly getting on top of him again, your swollen dripping cunt right on top of his still hard cock.
âSecond's over.â Only a little smirk is the warning he gets before youâre grinding on top of him again. All of your juices mix as you slowly ride back and forth, his length sliding between your wet folds deliciously. âIâm clean, and on the pill, are you?â
âOn the pill? Unfortunately not.â How he manages to make you laugh even on your horniest moments will forever remain a mystery. âBut Iâm clean, Iâve never had sex without a condom before.â
âMe neither. I guess this will be a new experience for the both of us.â The sole thought of it makes his dick twitch under you.
âAre you sure?â His hand cups the side of your face, and his eyes look at you with such care that you could melt in an instant.
âYes, I donât want to wait anymore. Weâve waited long enough.â That seems to relax him, his hands beginning to roam freely across your torso.
Sliding forward makes the veins of his cock drag along every sensitive spot and you both moan before his tip finally prods at your entrance. A loud hiss comes out of him as you align yourself with his length and push his tip in.
But before you can go any further, he wraps his arms around your waist and turns you around so your back is against the mattress. You gasp at the sudden change, and when he starts slowly sinking into you, filling every possible space inside you, you lose your breath.
His cock being covered by your fluids makes it easier, and when he finally bottoms out, so deep you feel him everywhere, you hear him trying to muffle a moan. Your gummy walls clamp around him, trying to get used to his size. The twitch of his length feels stronger while inside you, and you know heâs trying to resist the urge to pound into you.
âMove, please, I need you.â Your pathetic whimper triggers another smirk out of him, and as he moves down to give you a soft kiss, his eyes darken.
âWhatever my girl wants.â
The slow drag of his cock as he starts sliding it out almost make you delirious, but before his tip slips out, he snaps his full length right back in, making your body jolt upwards. You can't speak properly, a curse you canât even hear leaves your mouth before he repeats the action, again and again.
âSo deep, Mingyu, fuck.â The brutal pace he sets has him abusing every single sensitive spot inside you, even the ones you didnât know about, hitting relentlessly where it makes you scream, and youâre seeing stars.
âYou donât say my name often,â his voice is raspy and deep, almost mirroring the way his cock pistons inside of you, âI like how it sounds coming out of you."
Your palms are against the headboard and youâre sure the bed hitting against the wall can be heard from other rooms, but when one of his hands sneak between your bodies and starts circling your clit, you stop caring all along.
The grinding of your hips matches his rhythm, accentuating everything as he drives you closer and closer. With his face just above yours, you can only look him in the eyes and let him watch your face contort in pleasure feeling every vein of his cock dragging inside of you. With any other person, you would be self-conscious, but as he finds that spot inside you that makes you squirm, you forget the world around you and focus on grabbing his strong arms for support.
His teeth find your neck again, biting and kissing on your soft skin, pushing you closer and closer to the edge, and he doesnât stop drilling his hips into you. Somehow, you feel him deeper with every thrust, and the only thing you can do is claw your nails on his arms and back, encouraging him more and more.
âYouâre so tight, shit.â His hips stutter when you clench hearing his voice. âTell me youâre close, please, fuck, I donât now how long I got."
âYes! Yes, donât stop.â You tighten impossibly harder around him when you feel him pinch one of your nipples. Heâs literally everywhere, stimulating every spot to tip you over the edge.
Your arms and legs cage his body so close to yours that he has trouble keeping up with his pace, but that doesn't stop him from pounding hard. The sound of skin your skin hitting against his and his groans are like music to your ears.
It's when his thumb teases your clit again that you finally snap.
You tremble around him, moaning uncontrollably as he keeps pounding into you, prolonging your orgasm as he pleases and chasing his own. But heâs far gone too. Your sweet moans in his ear and your walls clenching around him so perfectly are enough to have him spilling inside you.
Sleepiness is about to get you when you feel him sliding out you and plopping by your side. Naturally, one of his arms slots under you as your head rests on the crook of his neck.
Thereâs silence while you both catch your breaths, his hand softly drawing circles on your back and yours on his chest. As reality sinks in, giddiness fills your entire body, and you canât contain the smile growing against his golden skin.
âDid you do any embarrassing things back then?â The sudden interrogation makes your cheeks turn red.
âIâm guessing thereâs no way out of this, right?â You avoid looking up at him to not make your shyness obvious, and you feel him shake his head as an answer. âFine⊠you know⊠your fangs?â
âMy fangs?!â Amusement and surprise mix on his voice.
âFuck this is so embarrassing.â Youâre caged between his arms but you manage to cover your face with your hands.
âYou liked my fangs?â
âI still do, but yeah, I would just draw little fangs everywhere, I guess no one ever noticed because they looked more like vampâ"
âWould you like to have dinner with me tomorrow?â He luckily interrupts your embarrassing rant with his pending question.
âAlready? You want to see me again that badly?â You feel the chuckle on his chest before you hear it, and at that moment, itâs the best sound youâve ever heard.
âI plan on taking you on dates at least three times a week. Youâre never getting rid of me now.â He embraces you in his arms, chests flushed together, and when you tilt your head up, heâs already looking at you, expectant for your answer. âSo, what do you say?â
âYes, I would love to have dinner with you tomorrow.â The smile he gives you might be the most blinding smile youâve ever seen. âBut just so you know, I do not have sex on first dates.â
thank you so much for readingâ„â„ sorry this took so long to finish
#mingyu au#seventeen au#seventeen smut#mingyu smut#svt smut#kim mingyu au#svt au#kim mingyu smut#mingyu imagine#mingyu x reader
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Hard Launching â°ââĄâ°â
Summary: lando and y/n wanted to hard launch their relationship after dating secretly for a while. lando finds the perfect way to do so.
â ln x reader â§Ë*°àż
â fluff + humour â§Ë*°àż
masterlist âŸâŒ
lando and y/n had been discussing for a while about hard launching their relationship. they had managed to keep it out of the media for an entire season, but the media liked to paint lando as a villain, in more ways than one. not only were they attacking his skills on track, they began collecting pictures of lando with women, no matter how many years ago, and publishing them with articles about him being a womanizer.
the funniest ones were the pictures of lando and her sister out on some bonding time. reading those articles always made y/n laughed, and she would be lying if she said that she didnât have them bookmarked in her browser for a pick me up when she was having a bad day.
at first, they had thought of doing a simple post with a cheesy caption. enough to let the fans knows that he was off the market again. but, it also felt kind of boring, and that was not lando or y/nâs style.
they discussed it for weeks, looking at different social media websites for inspiration, until it struck lando. scrolling through instagram, heâd found the perfect way to hard launch his relationship with his girlfriend.
when y/n asked him, he said, âyouâll just have to wait like the rest of the world, my love. but, i know youâre going to love it.â
y/n waited, just like he had told her to. she waited for two months, until one day, in the middle of her work, she received the instagram notification of lando posting and tagging her. this was the moment, y/n thought.
opening instagram, she found a reel, instead of a post or a story like she assumed. quickly, wearing her airpods, y/n clicked on the reel, increasing the volume in the background.
the reel opened with someone recording lando as he walked, head down and concentrated. the person recording said, âexcuse me, what are you listening to right now?â
lando took out one of his airpods, and said, âmy girlfriend yapping,â and then walked away.
the reel immediately cut to different instances of y/n talking and lando patiently listening. they were all sped up videos, and y/n watched her animated hands as she ranted, and lando listening, changing his position every so often. the music in the background was a lively, jaunty sound, and it fit so well with the reel.
there were a series of videos, from their home, from the paddock, from conference rooms where they were waiting for zak, or even from the gym where lando worked out, and y/n basically followed him, still talking his ear off. there were multiple videos of them on facetime as well, or screenshots of their hour - hour and half long conversations.
y/n laughed. it truly was the perfect way for lando to hard launch their relationship. it described them perfectly, if she did say so herself.
scrolling through the comments, she saw a lot of fans crying that he was a taken man now. she saw some saying things like, âthis is the realest representation of a relationship.â there were some hate comments too, but they were stupid, so she ignored them.
she commented on the post as well, typing, âwait till i send you a 20 minute voice note on my lunch breakâ to which lando immediately responded with, âcanât wait, i got my airpods and my phone fully chargedâ
y/n laughed again, opening her text messaging app, and sending a quick âi love you this was perfectâ to her boyfriend.
·̩̩̄ÍïŒâąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©ÍËËâąÌ©Ì©Íâ©âąÌ©Ì©ÍËïŒÂ·Ì©Ì©Ì„Í
hi! i hope you guys enjoyed this! it came to me while i was driving to college! this is my prompt list, so y'all can select a number, give me a driver and i will write it as soon as possible! i also have a google form for a taglist if anyone's interested! you can sent in your requests here :)
taglist: @maketheshadowsfearyou ; @anamiad00msday
#f1#formula 1#lando norris#formula one#ln4#f1 imagine#lando norris imagine#lando norris x you#lando norris x reader#lando norris fanfic#lando x reader#lando imagine#ln4 fluff#ln4 imagine#ln4 fic#ln x reader#ln
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Dark Desires
older, best friends dad!Logan x reader
summary: a week ago you found yourself drunk texting your best friends dad; something that should've been a mistake, but you were sure in that drunken moment that Logan would know everything you'd kept from him all those years. You'd been thinking about it for longer than you'd care to admit; adding to the fantasy. so what happens when logan finally indulges you..
warnings: Swearing, dirty talk, F!Receiving oral, PIV smut, prone bone and missionary, Somnophilla (technically??), daddy kink, roleplay?? pussy sniffing?? Kind of voyeurism? But the person is very much asleep. Also tagging this for dubcon but itâs more pre established consent/free use and slight CNC vibes depending on how you view it? Tagged this the best i believe i can but ultimately you are responsible for your media consumption.
A/N: i don't know where this came from, other than i had a glass of wine and a naughty thought. i tried real hard on this and its a little darker than i usually write- not to mention longer- but i hope yall enjoy a filth filled piece of my intoxicated brain anyway. Et voilĂ .
Masterlist Words: little over 4k (oop- longest thing ive ever written.. i got carried away..)
Your heart is hammering away inside of your chest so insistently that it feels like your ribs are bruised and your breasts are trying to punch their way out of your dress.
You're still wearing the stupid thing and Laura is drinking another mimosa. Part of you is grateful for that. Yet while you want her drunk and snoring tonight, part of you can't help trying to stop her.
You make eye contact, give her the look. Tell her to slow down because you two have been down this road before. She gets wild, has fun for half an hour, and then spends the rest of the night dizzy in a bathroom asking deep philosophical questions like why do my eyes hurt? And why do guys suck? And do i still have puke in my hair?
But if she's drunk tonight, just enough to sleep like the dead, then what?
You set your own drink aside to check your phone for what feels like the hundredth time this hour and lift a shaky thumb to your texts.
You've read the thread again and again and again, and still you don't quite believe it. The party swirls around you. A hurricane of sound and the smell of cocktails is sour in your nose. You feel the heat of your friends, your fellow graduates. one day lawyers, doctors, professors, professionals in their field; and yet here you are reading over the texts again.
You feel like a little girl and yet simultaneously the most grown of women because you have a secret, a dirty little secret.
You were nearly as drunk as Laura is now when you sent the first text a week ago. You were celebrating the end of finals and you were curled up in bed after a long night out.
One of your other friends had flirted with the bartender. You'd told the girl to stop and Laura had reached from her stool and pinched your leg. Asking if you'd ever needed something so badly that you actually made a bad decision.
Everyone had laughed, all except you.
You know she was teasing and complimenting in the same breath. You're a good girl and everybody knows it. Reliable, honest and never involved with the wrong kind of guys.. Always a reason to why you were too busy to bother. You were studying, too busy hanging out with Laura. Too busy prepping for school, internships and the next two decades of your life.
You're no angel, although of course, no one was. You've had your share of regrettable hookups and disappointing boyfriends, but nothing that set your world alight. Nothing worth risking anything for.
But maybe what Laura had said thread under your skin more than you'd like to admit. Maybe you were just drunk enough to ignore the obvious risk.. Or was it that you'd been thinking about him for an indecently long amount of time?
So with finals over, diploma practically in hand. There was nothing preventing years of pent up lust from sending a jolt down between your legs, setting a crackling fire in your heart and making you sweat. Dripping down your neck, stomach, that spot on your lower back, they all tingled as you crouched on the corner of your bed and wrote a single text.
You: I need something.
You sent it. Had forced yourself to before you chickened out and immediately regretted it. You thought you'd worded it in such a way that you could play it off, pretend it didn't happen.
But you were sure in that drunken moment that Logan would read those three words and know everything you'd kept from him all those years. Every dirty thought, every horny fantasy, everything.
It was all right there in the text. 2am on a Thursday night and truly it could only mean one thing. You put the phone down, tried to make yourself go to sleep.
Logan was an older man with a life. A job, house and a child- your best friend- and you were sure he wouldn't even see the stupid thing until the morning when you could say you meant to message Laura. Not him, not her father. But then you picked up the phone again, half panicked and ready to change your mind, when you'd saw those little dots.
That meant he was writing something back, at 2am on a Thursday night, either in bed or his limo.
Logan: You need to go to sleep
Of course.. Responsible. That was the responsible thing to do. And you would do just that. But first you'd just write a quick text to apologize. Say it was the wrong number and sleep this off; pretend it didn't happen for the rest of your lives.
But.. what if, for once in your life, it could be easy? What if Logan did know everything? What if.. There was something else? Because that was how this all started, hadn't it?
You'd always felt something more, saw something different in his worn eyes, his gruff demeanor. Heard something he was saying when he really wasn't saying anything at all.
Or.. Was it all in your head? Was this only ever a one way infatuation? A young woman's crush, a dark fantasy that only grew darker with each new kink you discovered in yourself? Losing all confidence, you texted back.
You: sorry. Wrong number.
And that was that- or it should've been that- If it was only ever a one way street. You put the phone down, tried desperately to keep your eyes closed, but the moment you heard the phone buzz again you peek.
Logan: Is that true sweetheart?
Oh no, no. it wasn't true at all. You knew he knew exactly who'd texted and why; what you wanted him to do. You'd been thinking about it for years. Adding to the fantasy. Soaking your sheets in the middle of the night when you couldn't sleep, all that brought a temporary relief. If only for a little while; So, you text back.
You: No
Just that. A simple No.
Logan: You telling a lie?
You: Not exactly
Logan: So you wanted my attention then?
You: Wanted? No Logan.. Need.
And yes, you know need is a very strong word.
Logan: You feel very strongly about that huh? Strong feelings can be dangerous sweetheart.
You: what if i want something dangerous.
You answered back with the most honest thing you could say. And then there was a pause, a very long pause, in which you could see no dots, and even started to wonder if he'd abandoned you. Left you on read.
A thousand images erupted in your mind, different versions of him sitting and staring at your number- your words. Those cheap reading glasses perched on his nose as he wondered if this was some kind of game.
But if it was a game.. Logan was ready to play and after a few minutes your phone dings again.
Logan: you're being a real bad girl tonight, aren't you?
And then it wasn't your best friend's father you were texting. Well, it very much was- that was the crux of it, wasn't it? But now it was also the man. The man on the other side of the phone who was paying close attention.
You: Yes, daddy. very, very bad.
Now, In the darkness of his daughter's room, You imagine colors swirling on her ceiling. Your heart restless like a caged animal and there is a knot in your stomach twisting tighter and tighter by the second.
You don't know how long you've been lying here. 5 minutes or 5 hours. But you know you can't possibly wait another moment... But then you do, because you have to.
You haven't heard from Logan all day and that makes you afraid. Really genuinely afraid that He's forgotten or changed his mind.
Because, well, it's just you and Laura in here, isn't it? You're lying on the floor, a lumpy pillow under your head, and a spare, slightly musty blanket folded under your breasts.
Laura is snoring away in her bed, her limbs tangled with a stuffed animal almost the size of her- one you'd won her from a carnival. It was like old times, she slurred drunkenly. The three of you huddled together in her bed, giggling and watching some crappy reality show.
She'd tried to get you to join her and the animal in the bed, but you'd said no. Insisted that it was too hot tonight. That you'd rather be able to spread out on the floor. Fortunately, by the time you made it up to Laura's room, she was too far gone to argue.
Unfortunately, now though, there's a very drunk girl in her bed beside you, a possible witness to your depravity. And so you lie there, staring at the ceiling and forcing yourself not to text. Not to call. To just ignore the nagging doubt in your gut.
And yet again, you still find yourself opening the text thread. Reading through the things you told him, the things he'd told you. A formed plan and line after line of you promising things. All of the 'Yes, daddy I want this' the 'Please do that to me' The repetitive 'ill be a good girl, Promise' And then, at the very bottom, a safe word. It was when you'd agreed on the safe word that you knew this was for real. Not a fiction in a book or a fantasy playing out in a movie.
The word. Kitty. An inside joke from years ago. The word proof that all the little confidences and conversations held an attraction you were both willing to hide for the sake of decency
But.. you don't want to be decent anymore. You'd confided your fantasy, one that you had dreamt so many nights. Wished for it in the hot, comfortable haven of Laura's bed every time you'd stayed over. The thought of her older, attractively gruff father coming to you in the night and making you submit to his secret lust.
Of him pulling your panties to the side while Laura slept untroubled. Logan ravishing you while you whispered and mewled 'please, daddy, make me your filthy slut'
You've always been his filthy slut, haven't you? Deep In your heart. The thought is turning the wet spot between your legs into a soggen menace. You've been horny before, You've been needy before, but never like this- because you've never tried something like this.
Never wanted something badly enough to ask for it; or even beg for it. This was a dream, a dirty desire, a secret yearning never to be true.
Then you'd drunk texted. You told him and he'd responded, not with shock or disgust, but enthusiasm, cautious enthusiasm. But it was still only text messages. You haven't spoken to him yet, not properly at least. Even when you saw him walk in at the party, or in the limo on the way back to Laura's. You couldn't bring yourself to say a word. Your mouth was so dry, cheeks so hot. Laura had laughed and said you were flushed in the backseat- a lightweight to end all lightweights- when in fact you haven't had a drop to drink tonight.
You're going to throw your phone at the wall, you swear it. But No, that would probably wake her up. Instead, you conclude that you're going to find your pants, and you're going to leave this house and never come back. You love Laura but you can't bear it, can't believe you trusted him with this. You can't lie here and torment yourself about your decisions a minute longer about your need.
Then, your heart leaps into your throat. phone dropping onto your chest with a soft thud. Quickly you brush it off and turn onto your stomach. Your head hitting the pillow, eyes squeezed shut and pulse racing like you've run a marathon.
Through your closed eyelids, you see the glow of the hall light from the open door, only for it to vanish moments later. Either the door has closed or the light's been turned off, but you're not sure which because blood is racing so loudly in your ears. Breath escaping in overwhelming gasps.
Do you hear calculated heavy footsteps or is that your imagination? You struggle to listen for Laura. Is she awake or still sleeping? The tension so tight in your chest that you begin to feel dizzy, almost nauseous. Then comes the creak of the floor at the foot of your makeshift bed, the unmistakable presence of another person in the room, their eyes on you.
You can't stop your body from trembling slightly as the sheet is softly yanked away. Adrenaline courses through your veins, making your body buzz with anticipation.
Your legs are bare the cool air of Laura's bedroom. You're laying on your stomach. Face pushed into the pillow, eyes clenched shut as if you're locked into a deep, drunken sleep- like you should be.
Your legs are splayed out, dark lacey panties riding up the crevice of your ass. One of your ass cheek's indecently exposed... then a rough touch caresses over the swell of that exposed cheek, two big exploring hands, gliding over you.
You hear the grunt of a man, and you know it can only be Logan. He's the only other person home.
Your heart is beating so hard you're afraid you're going to pass out. Laura is on the bed, sleeping mere feet away, and her father is groping you in your supposed sleep.
So the question becomes: are you dreaming now? or are you praying this is as far as he'll go?
when Logan pull's the fabric of your panties to the side, you know he's willing to go much further. He's quiet in the darkness around you, but he's big and the house is old; the floor creaking and groaning as he readjust's his heavy weight.
Your panties are roughly hiked over one cheek of your ass, the sound of ripping lace filling your ears. Logan's hot breath roll's over your ass and the tremble in your limbs becomes a full shiver.
You can feel his scruffy face so close to your body, Feel his nose against the crevice of your ass as he roves lower. Dipping further until his mouth- his nose - is pressed into the folds of your bared cunt.
You hear how he inhales deeply, toes curling in response. Your fingers lay over Laura's spare pillow, the case tight in your grip. He's smelling you, nuzzling against your dampening skin not once, but many times. Lewdly breathing in your scent like a dog that's found something it likes.
His calloused hands spread you open so he can breathe deeper still and when hes as deep into your cunt as his face will allow, his wet tongue slides out to lick at you. You cannot stifle your moan at the feeling, immediately biting your lip to keep from growing any louder.
But with this the culmination of so many fevered late night fantasies, you dont know if you are dreaming.
His wide tongue laps at your swollen clit, swiping open the seam of your pussy and to the point just shy of your tighter hole. You hear logan growl into your wet slit like a monster unleashed from beneath the bed. Feeling how how his licks grow stronger, longer and twice as ravenous as he steadily turn your pussy into a drooling, dripping mess.
He laps at you in the quiet darkness of Laura's room, calculated and experienced as you fight to not to cry out. The pressure of an impending orgasm building so tight in your body that it feels time you woke up.
And so you take a deep breath, a rough gasped sound falling out too. Your fingers claw at the pillow as you flex your lower half.
"Hmm?"You grumble, pretending to bat away the cobwebs of sleep. "Wha-whats happening, What are you doing?" You ask, voice thick with mock confusion.
Within moments you feel Logan's tongue retreat from your pussy, a weight so much heavier than your own crawl over your half naked body. You feel him pressed tight against you, still clothed if the scratchy fabric tells you anything, but an unmistakable bulge is hidden inside. Hard and large against your ass you feel Logan's arm rub against your shoulder. A big hand sliding over your mouth.
"Quiet, sweetheart" he growls in your ear. "Daddy's had enough of your teasing"
Another large hand slides beneath your sleep shirt to cup your tender tits, The nipples diamond hard against Logan's palm. You cant help but moan into his hand as you plead.
"Please. Didn't mean to tease" its a wine, petulant in tone.
"Course you didnt.. Shame S' Too late now" he whispers against your ear, teeth biting into your earlobe. The hand on your breast trails down. Right the way down to his slacks.
"B-but Laura" You warn him in a whispered panic, hearing the sound of a zipper sliding down. you struggle teasingly, hips bucking back against him. Its not enough to cause a scene or enough to wake your sleeping friend- his sleeping daughter- but just enough to make him pin your body down. Enough for you to feel a fraction of his real strength.
Logan's muscles bulge from the effort of caging you against the floor and spreading your legs.
"Nuh uh, Stay still. Stay right where ive got you" he murmurs darkly in your ear, voice a low rumble. the words fire through you like liquid lightning as you bite into his palm, not to fight but to restrain a high pitched moan that you fear could wake the neighbors- not just Laura.
"nothing you can do now sweetheart, just gotta take it" Logan says and you hear the mocking smile in the words, feel the throb of his thick cock as it emerges from the confines of his pants. "Kept telling me you were a good girl, so show me"
With your stomach flat against the ground, legs spread wide beneath him, you can do nothing but tremble as his cock slips between your legs. The cock belonging to your best friend's father sliding deliciously across that little bundle of nerves that sparks a whimper of pleasure.
Your eyes roll back as Logans hips buck, cock brushing your clit again, running up and down your slit torturously slow. "fuuuck, you feel that? How hard you've got my cock?"
You're kicking your legs now, moving your hips. It could be viewed as a struggle but its not, not really, you're just so desperately excited you can't keep still.
"Don't need to fight me baby. Just let daddy in hm? let it happen sweetheart."
And then he's pushing inside your body in one heavy thrust; slow and impossibly deep. The weight of him inside your cunt making you mewl against his palm. All the years of secret yearning, wet fantasies and subtle flirtations have all led to this moment.
It doesn't take many thrusts before your tongue is rolling out of your mouth, licking wetly against his palm like a grateful dog- a bitch in heat. You try to use it to muffle the moan that follows, a pitiful sound mixed with pleasure, like you're ashamed to be in the situation.
Used and humiliated around logans cock.
Its push followed by retreat, a half thrust and then withdrawal over and over. "So fucking tight" Logan growls as you wiggle your ass, not certain if your trying to squirm further in to his grip or out.
He's stretching your walls apart, the burn of his size delicious with each heavy he offers. Each bringing a pulsing throb on your clit. "Yeaaaa, that's it, take it like a good girl.." he groans. "S' what you wanted isn't it."
Logans right, this is exactly what you wanted and more. His body trembles atop yours from the exertion, balls squeezed against your ass, his hand on and off clenching around your breast. His thrusts picking up in pace as you struggle and squirm to keep quiet even under his palm
"L-logan" you whimper as he pushes particularly deep, pussy squelching lewdly from your arousal, his hand barley muffling the word. He knows your close before you do, can feel your cunt clenching desperately.
"Getting fucked so good your gonna cum sweetheart?" he rasps in your ear, panting into it. "C'mon, tell daddy how good his cock feels."
"S-so good.. F-fuck yes daddy, please"
You whine and It is a struggle to pry his strong hand off your mouth to get the words out.
"Go on sweetheart. Cum, coat my fuckin cock. Show me this cute little pussy is mine"
and then his big hand clamps back over your lips as he begins to fuck you into the floor. Your orgasm crashes over you in burning waves. Every stroke becoming an ecstatic agony, overstimulation starting to buzz over your bones. Its a constant struggle to hold your moans and neither of you can move properly for the risk of waking Laura .
But Logans hips remain unrelenting, Fucking you prone on your friends floor. His balls swinging, swatting unbearably at your clit with every entry. The heat of him and being trapped against the floor is almost unbearable, but so is having to keep your whimpers quiet. sweat beads hot on your brow
you can hear his own desperate attempts at staying quiet. Broken only by muffled groans, grunts of exertion, and primal chesty growls as your cunt clenches wetly around him.
Yet the discomfort of overstimulation is no match for the absolute bliss of your submission. Your toes curling so hard you're on the verge of a cramp.
The friction between your clit, Logan's cock and the floor builds to an intolerable pressure. Something must give way. The temptation to lose all control and scream his name too great. Now that possibility of you blacking out is too dangerous to ignore. So you say it the word.
"Kitty!"
Not because you want to, but because in this moment you have to. Almost as soon as the word leaves your lips and sinks into the pillow, wet from saliva and tears, you feel his body shudder. muscles seizing while a heavy groan sounding out into the skin of your neck.
"you okay?" he pants softly worry creasing his brow. "Was it too much?"
Your wordless and it worries him. Making him pull back, cock slipping free with a hushed hiss as he helps you shift onto your back, so he can look at you properly.
Your hands rise, fingers caressing his scruffy cheeks. "M'okay" you pant, eyes on him. "wasn't too much. Promise."
No, in fact, It was just right- before it all overwhelmed you that is. Now? now you just want to hold him, make love to him. Hold onto something- someone that isn't really yours. Eye to eye, your mouth slides back over his, legs spread back open, ready to welcome his length back inside. Without a word you buck your hips down, beckoning him to fuck you again.
Things are much quieter this time. Pace slowed to deep grinds rather than shallow thrusts, pleasure once again coiling in your gut as you lean up to watch his cock disappear inside.
"Feel so good sweetheart, my good girl" he coos, lips against yours as his hand slips back to cup your breast. "My good girl with a fuckin perfect body"
You keep your eyes on logan, blissful smile across your face, and for this moment he's not your best friends father. Not with the way he's gazing down at you with a mixture of lust and long held affection. "always wanted you" he whispers, hand moving back from your breast to cup your cheek. "But I would have kept that secret forever.."
You squeeze him to your chest, heart stuttering at the admission as you lock your arms behind his neck, legs tight around logans waist. You whimper back his name, a plea on your tongue.
"Want you to cum logan.. Please, need to feel it"
You want it more than anything, to feel his cum pushed inside you; for it to drip out later as a downright filthy reminder. You kiss his neck, then cheek, and finally his lips. You want Logan to claim you right here on the floor, right under her nose and you know it makes you a bad friend. Your eyes roll back, hands clawing down his chest as you feel yourself giving up all thought to the rush that flows down the center of your body. The one that begins and ends in the wet, sticky place between your legs, Where the sensitive bud of your clit pulses like a dying star.
it's then he growls much too loud, and you respond back in a whimper, lips pressing tight as you cum together in panted kisses. Him pumping hot heady ropes of cum inside your cunt without reservation or regret as you clench in a vice grip around him.
Tomorrow you will be sore, you know it for a fact. But Tonight.. Tonight You can revel in a fantasy made flesh, your flesh and Logans wrapped around each tight. You drag weak fingers down through his damp hair, then his back, feeling the way his shirt is soaked through with sweat.
Logans panting has subsided by now, breaths no longer crackling besides your ear. He plants mouthy kisses at the juncture of your neck, ever so gently, like a sated wolf nuzzling at the muzzle of his mate. You giggle quietly as those kisses grow fiercer, teeth nipping at your neck.
"my good, great, naughty girl" he murmurs against your skin, voice soft. "you feeling okay sweetheart? sure it wasn't too much?"
You nod and he can feel the enthusiasm seep from the move as you grasp his face again. "Mhm, better than okay. Was perfect" you hum sleeplily, content in his hold, in the scent of him. Your eyes flutter, lashes tickling his cheeks as you kiss him long and deep, until the rub of his beard hurts your face and sleep begins to take you under.
You both know tonight was the culmination of so many fevered dreams. The breaking point of lust and its power that can't be fully expressed in words. So he holds you close- just as you do him in your rest- for a little while longer, until light begins to filter soft through the curtains and the reality of what you'd both done really begins to set in.
thats it!! lemme know what you thought anddddd yea! asks are always open to shoot the shit, drabbles and more! <333
#carbonsfics#old man logan#logan howlett x reader smut#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#logan howlett#wolverine#wolverine smut#wolverine x reader#dark logan howlett#dark wolverine#oldman logan howlett#logan 2017#logan x reader
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rafeâs panty obsession
it wasnât supposed to be like this. rafe cameron didnât do infatuationânot like this, not this utterly consumed way where the line between obsession and desire blurred until it was just... madness. he had meant to just grab one pair of your panties, a stupid, reckless thrill to satisfy the darker corners of his mind. just one, and heâd be done.
that was five trips ago.
now here he was, sneaking back into your house again, his chest tight and pulse racing. it was the fifth time this week, and rafe couldnât stop himself. not even a stern talk in the mirror about how insane this was had deterred him. it wasnât like you didnât like having him over; you practically glowed whenever he swung by, which only made it worse. you thought he just enjoyed hanging out at your place, enamored by your sweet personality or the way your laugh lit up the room.
and okay, yeah, rafe did like those things. but they werenât the reason he kept coming back. no, the reason was tucked away in your hamper and drawers, lacy and delicate, scented faintly with your arousal. he was utterly hooked on the thought of you wearing them, of the intimate glimpse they gave into your world. and it wasnât just about the pantiesâthough, god, they made him lose his mind. it was you, the sweet innocence you exuded, that made his obsession spiral.
if only he knew you werenât as innocent as you seemed.
you had noticed rafeâs peculiar behavior weeks ago. at first, you brushed it off as just him being rafeâarrogant, charming, always lingering too long in your personal space. but then, youâd caught him red-handed, fumbling with your drawer when he thought you were in the shower. he hadnât seen you peek around the corner, hadnât noticed the way your jaw had dropped when he slipped a pair of your panties into his pocket and left like nothing had happened.
it wasnât disgust you felt, surprisingly. it was pure lust.
instead of confronting him, you decided to watch. you started paying closer attention to his movements when he was over, strategically leaving him alone in your room just to see if heâd do it again. he did. every single time. and you, instead of stopping him, started taking pictures. at first, they were innocent enoughâjust snapshots of him rummaging around like a guilty little boy. but then, the photos became something else. you began capturing the way his brows furrowed in concentration, the way his jaw clenched when he held your panties to his nose and inhaled like a man starved.
you couldnât explain why it turned you on, but it did.
now, weeks later, you had a collection of photos hidden in your phone, and the sight of rafe in your room no longer shocked you. tonight, he was particularly bold. you had invited him over for dinner, and he had made some excuse about needing to use the bathroom. you knew better. quietly, you followed him up the stairs, camera ready, as he slipped into your bedroom.
rafeâs hands shook as he opened your drawer. he hated how addicted he had become to this. it was like his brain short-circuited every time he got close to your stuff. he grabbed a pale pink pair this time, the fabric soft and delicate between his fingers. his imagination ran wildâthinking about you wearing them, thinking about peeling them off you.
âyou really canât help yourself, huh?â
rafe froze. his blood ran cold, the pink panties still clutched in his hand as your voice broke the silence. slowly, he turned around, his face flushing a deep crimson when he saw you standing in the doorway, phone in hand, a knowing smirk on your lips.
ây/n,â he stammered, his voice thick with panic. âiâthis isnâtââ
âoh, donât even bother lying,â you interrupted, stepping into the room and shutting the door behind you. âiâve known for weeks, rafe. youâre not exactly subtle.â
his mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. you held up your phone, showing him a picture youâd taken just days ago of him with your lacy panties in his hand, taking a deep inhale of the seat.
âi have a whole collection,â you teased, your smirk growing wider. âyouâre not the only one with a little... obsession.â
rafeâs eyes darkened at your words. âwhat are you talking about?â he asked, his voice low and edged with something dangerous.
you shrugged, moving closer. âiâve been watching you. taking pictures. at first, i thought it was just funny, you sneaking around like a kid caught stealing candy. but then...â you trailed off, tilting your head as you met his gaze. âthen i realized i kind of liked it.â
his breath hitched. âyou... like it?â
âmaybe,â you said coyly. âbut i also like idea of you pleasuring yourself to my panties.â
rafe swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest. he felt trapped, exposed, but the way you were looking at himâwith a mix of amusement and something far darkerâmade his blood heat. âso, what now?â he asked, his voice thick with tension. âyou gonna tell me to get out? call the cops?â
you laughed, a soft, melodic sound that made his stomach flip. âno, rafe. iâm not gonna kick you out. but i think itâs time we stop pretending.â
âpretending?â
âthat iâm this innocent little thing youâve built up in your head,â you said, stepping closer until you were just inches away. âi know what youâve been doing, and i let you. hell, i wanted you to. but now, i think itâs time you earn what youâve been sneaking around for.â
rafeâs mouth went dry. âwhat does that mean?â
you smiled, reaching out to pluck the pink panties from his hand. âit means,â you said, your voice dropping to a whisper, âyou donât have to steal anymore.â
his heart was a drum in his chest, loud and erratic, drowning out the world around him. your words hung in the air, daring him to cross the line heâd been skirting for weeks. your lips curved into a teasing smile, your gaze unwavering as you stepped even closer, close enough for him to feel the warmth radiating off you.
ây/n,â he murmured, your name barely audible over the pounding in his ears. his hands clenched at his sides, torn between pulling you closer and keeping some semblance of control.
âwhatâs wrong, rafe?â you asked softly, your voice dripping with challenge. âyou were bold enough to sneak into my room. now youâre scared to touch me?â
his restraint snapped. in a swift motion, his hands cupped your face, and his lips crashed against yours. the kiss was messy, heated, and filled with weeks of pent-up frustration. your hands flew to his chest, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt as you kissed him back just as fervently. his tongue slid against yours, claiming, searching, as if trying to drink in every bit of you he could.
you moaned softly into his mouth, and rafe swore he saw stars. his hands roamed down, gripping your waist and pulling you flush against him. the pink panties youâd taken from him fell to the floor, forgotten in the heat of the moment.
when you finally broke apart, your breaths mingled in the small space between you. your lips were swollen, your cheeks flushed, and your eyes sparkled with something that made rafeâs knees weak.
âguess youâre not as shy as i thought,â you teased, your voice breathless.
âyou drive me insane, yâknow that?â he muttered, his forehead pressing against yours. his thumb traced your cheek, softer now, though the fire in his eyes hadnât dimmed.
âgood,â you said, smirking as your fingers toyed with the hem of his shirt. âbecause iâm not done with you yet.â
rafeâs grin mirrored yours, all sharp edges and wicked intent. âoh, trust me, neither am i.â
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