#here's another edition of Mads losing her mind

[chuluoyi]

MARRIED ON PURPOSE

- gojo satoru x reader

"for one, i can show you incredible things!" jujutsu, madness, heaven, sin. the strongest sorcerer is sure to show you all of that during the whole duration of your six-month marriage contract.

genre/warnings: marriage of convenience, enemies to lovers, crack, fluff, slight satosugu angst/comfort, kamo!reader, very suggestive. gojo clan is portrayed as very traditional, meanwhile kamo clan is rather unpleasant here

note: the unholy amount of times i've edited this story *sigh* but okay i must drop it here or else i'm going to keep editing it and losing my mind. despite my misgivings and all, i really had fun writing this and i hope you enjoy it! wc. 5k !

a part of 1K MILESTONE EVENT

general masterlist

Some would say... marrying Gojo Satoru would be living the dream.

“Don't look that sour now, wife.”

“…sigh.”

A playful nudge at your side, a lighthearted voice— “You're going to make them question our veeery happy marriage, you know… We don't want that now, do we?”

But to you, it was more like nightmare dressed in a daydream.

It was peak comedy because why would you put marrying Gojo Satoru in your life plans? He was incorrigible, a child trapped in a man's body, and there was also the very fact that you hate him. His only redeeming trait was being born in the esteemed Gojo clan, and now held the title of the strongest.

You know you must have accumulated karma, but out of everything else, why must you end up in this predicament?

Hailing from the great clans of jujutsu society, both of you know well that marriage is the essence to make the clan greater. And when it involves the big three clans, its importance amplifies even further.

It was just that you two were too rebellious to follow it through, for one reason or another. Everyone knows Gojo Satoru was faithless to any woman, and you were not exactly thrilled with the idea of marriage as a whole.

He was the one who came to you, proposing this insane idea of a temporary marriage.

"Look at it this way," Satoru said with a wry grin, contrasting your puzzled frown on that fateful afternoon. "It's either me or Zen'in Naoya for you, isn't it? It's so clear which is the better man."

That was what grated you the most. You would be damned if you married the misogynist.

"What do you get from this arrangement, really?" you questioned begrudgingly.

His name would give you security, stop the harassment from your clan, and maybe even a better life, but you didn't quite get what he'd get from the offer he willingly extended to you.

Satoru flippantly shrugged. "Nah, you are not exactly my type, but you're still far better than the boring puppet my family have considered to be my wife."

"Who?"

"Don't remember her name. All she goes on about is that she'll be the good wife and mother of my child. Ew."

Seven hells. You scowled. Gojo Satoru and his penchant for chasing the thrill. Boring women would kill him before an actual curse would.

"And hey, for one," he shot you a smirk, visibly smug. "I can show you incredible things!"

"That's not the point! Gojo, do you even realize—" your voice rose, pulsating with righteous fury, "—how serious all of this is? My life, your life! We're going to be stuck—together!"

"Six months," he blurted, tilting his head slightly. His sunglasses slipped down just enough for you to catch a glimpse of his sparkling eyes. "It's enough time to work through our shits, and by then if you have enough, we're through."

At that time, it seemed feasible. Both of you tolerating each other to avoid a much worse match.

. . .

BACK TO PRESENT—barely a week ever since you were paraded around as his wife, now you and Satoru were stiffly poised in the studio in your formal garbs, capturing your official wedding photos.

At that time, it seemed feasible, but now, it felt like a chore, as you realized that conversing with him either spiked your blood pressure so much that you wouldn't even be surprised if you ended up with hypertension or completely sapped your energy that you were left exhausted.

"Come on, show a smiiile," Satoru said in a sing-song voice, gesturing toward the camera as it flashed for the pictures. You were beyond appalled, shooting a glare in his direction.

"I am smiling, Gojo."

"Liar. You're pouting, wifey~"

Sigh… this really is going to be one hella of a ride, huh?

MONTH ONE, and you found out that Gojo Satoru is apparently as mad as people made him out to be.

"You've got to be kidding me!" you fumed, right after he hauled you into one of the rooms in his grand, traditional estate. Your glare pierced through him, a blood vessel ready to burst. "We never agreed on ‘consummating’ the marriage!"

You wrote him a goddamn contract. And the three conditions of this chaotic marriage are: one, it would only last six months; two, no personal feelings involved; and three, nothing borderline disturbing.

And this, you concluded, was the height of what could be called as disturbing.

"We will not," Satoru replied with a hint of disdain, grimacing, as if the notion didn't sit well with him either. The audacity! "We're just going to make it as if we are—"

"And why?! Why should I do that?!"

"Why else? Because my old fart believes that we indeed haven't done so."

"Then it's your fault? For failing to convince him? Why turn it into my problem!"

"Because, dear wife," he drawled, his tone taunting on the final note. "Now we're on the same page, in case you have forgotten."

Great clans and their hollow expectations spare no one, not even Gojo Satoru. They place importance in the most banal things, such as the continuity of sacred bloodlines and such.

The only alternative wasn't appealing either. Should you be found out that you married only to divorce... sigh, you didn't even want to know how big of a scandal it would be. One thing was certain: your clan would chop you to shreds.

You really had no choice, huh?

"Five minutes," you warned, glaring at him. "Make it loud. Make it so that no one wouldn't question this anymore."

Oh and sure he would. As Satoru pulled that shit-eating grin, you were in for another ride. You waited out until several maids were nearby, left the wooden door ajar, and began the show—

His hands wrapped around your waist—the feeling was peculiar, but you ignored it—and you let him pull you near that open door. He snuggled his face on your neck—his hair tickling you in the process, but you ignored that peculiarity again—as he started making suggestive noises. "Mm, you're so pretty, darling."

You could hear those maids gasp in surprise. And to add the flavor, you faked a moan.

This is... kinda fun? A twisted part of you suddenly found satisfaction in fooling the maids. A smile tugged at your lips as you shoved him away, and Satoru eyed you in surprise and irritation.

"Husband, you're... insatiable," you worded languidly, and he immediately caught on your act, grinning. "Anyone can walk by, you know."

"Oh? But that's the point." Satoru's bright blue eyes twinkled with utter mischief, and even you couldn't deny the exhilarating rush. "I want them to know."

And suddenly you got this very brilliant idea. You swiftly moved past him and sent the books and trinkets on his desk flying to the floor, causing questionable noises.

"Oh my!" a girlish voice exclaimed.

"The master! And the lady!"

Satoru shook his head, thoroughly entertained. And you rolled your eyes. Those nosy maids would finally have enough now, and this charade would end—

"What's happening here?"

The old fart. Both you and Satoru grunted in unison. You really thought you would leave it up to the maids to spread the word, but then you were taken by surprise when he wrapped his hands around you and flung the door open, slamming you against it—and damn it hurt!—offering everyone a front-row seat to your charade.

The maids squealed. His grandfather raised a righteous, demanding eyebrow. You wanted to scream.

"Hey, gramps," he greeted jovially, breathless, his grip on you tightening and you felt heat radiating from his palm. "Ah, sorry, opened it by accident—the wife here is feisty, you see."

Your veins felt ready to burst. Was this a part of his plan all along? How would you show your face before your grandfather-in-law now that he had seen this... atrocity?!

"So, yeah, we'll resume our business!" Satoru, the idiot, said it as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "See ya!"

With that the door slammed shut, but oh no, it was not the end.

"Mmmph!?" you protested, unintentionally loud and eyes widening in alarm when Satoru muffled your mouth with his hand.

The rotten bastard! You found it nearly impossible to breathe, shooting daggers at him. "Mmmrgh! Mmmrrgh!"

"Oh... so that boy really does it huh," you heard the elder mutter in thoughtful manner from outside—and you were in disbelief at how trusting he was—before rounding the stunned maids and barked, "What are all you doing here? Go!"

You nearly sagged with relief when Satoru loosened his grip slightly, allowing you to breathe, as his meddlesome grandpa finally stalked away. Done. This horrible act was over! But wait, why did he still had his hand on your mouth?

"That went splendidly!" he snickered, appearing rather pleased with what had unfolded. "Now, if only we work together like this more often—"

This is… my life now, you lamented the reality. The feeling of his calloused hand on you made you feel things, honestly speaking, but another emotion—and impulse—currently overpowered that.

Seething with resentment, you fiercely chomped down on his hand hard, causing him to swear and pull his hand out of you.

"You—you devil! You bit me!"

"Serves you right!"

Okay, he was bad. He was insufferable. But to be frank, sometimes it wasn't all chaos.

And what's more, by MONTH TWO, you realized that being married to Gojo Satoru also comes with several perks.

"Miss, please, you're trespassing—"

You looked at the police with the haughtiest look you could muster, unamused. "Don't you know who I am?"

"No, but it shouldn't—"

"I'm that man's wife," you declared regally, motioning towards a certain tall shuttlecock a few meters away. "Is that not clear enough for you?"

For one, no one can look down on you anymore, because should they try, you have the power to raise your chin high and declare yourself as the wife of the infamous sorcerer. The very moment you did, that nosy police stopped yapping, and let you through.

The cursed boy, Yuta and his classmate had just been trapped inside a barrier a curse user pulled down, and you were assigned to look into this case by the headquarters. As much as it boggled you—because certainly, the strongest sorcerer was enough to investigate this—you still had to do your job.

“What is this?” you asked Satoru, who was observing something far beyond what your measly ordinary eyes could see. “What happened here?”

He turned to you, all with bandaged eyes. “Hmm? Oh, you’re here too?”

“Don't act surprised. Answer my question, Gojo.”

"You’re too uptight, wifey," Satoru's lips curved upwards playfully. He had taken to addressing you with pet names as of late, if anything, only to get a rise out of you. "Isn't it the time for you to start calling me by my given name?"

You let out a weary exhale, exasperated. "I'm serious, did you find anything? Who is behind this?"

"Nah, nothing for you to worry about," Satoru waved his hand dismissively, grinning. "More importantly! Let's head back and have dinner! My treat!"

You weren't that oblivious. You noticed things too.

"What do you want tonight? Sukiyaki? Sushi?" he hummed nonchalantly. "Or shabu-shabu?"

You gave him the stink eye. "Is that all you think about? Food?"

"As a responsible husband, it's my duty to feed my wife, no?"

"News flash: temporary wife."

"But still my wife, regardless. I overheard you earlier. Being Mrs. Gojo is convenient, yeah?"

You ignored how a part of your jolted at the emphasis he placed on that word, grunting. "Nah, it's meh."

Call it a feeling or hypothesis. It was similar to how he treated his students. He always said the dumbest things, but it actually served to make them feel at ease.

Then it occurred to you, could this be actually his attempt to change the subject?

"You can't cheat your way out of this." You shot him a pointed look. "You know something. Tell me."

"Hmmm? And what would I get in return?"

"Don't make this difficult. I'm on this assignment too!"

"Nah, if you call me by my name, I might consider it."

Hah. You should really read a parenting book one of these days. Taking on your husband was more or less the same as facing a kid.

"Satoru," you tested, the name rolling out of your lips far easier than you thought. Somehow, using his given name felt like some sort of a leap of faith.

He stopped right in his tracks, turning to you. His glossy lips quirked into a meaningful smile, and you felt funny.

"Wasn't that difficult, was it?" he winked, and you covered the strange heat creeping onto your face by rolling your eyes and huffed.

Needless to say, he still didn't tell you even a clue. You finally gave up, thinking that if he insisted on not disclosing it, then so be it. You trusted him on this, even as he turned your help away, and you hated admitting it, because, well…

You’d trust him with your life. He knows how to handle this better than anyone.

Being a a woman in Kamo clan is, in fact, not any better than in Zen'in—you're regarded more as a commodity than a human being.

"When will you bear the child of the bearer of Six Eyes?" in your father's eyes, you were but a tool to tie the Gojo at his hip, and your worth probably wasn't even twice of Noritoshi's. You had known he would ask this when he summoned you to Kamo ancestral home, and you weren't that naive—you had asked Satoru to join you too. But your father had insisted him to stay at the foyer, while he dragged you into his chamber.

Just because you had seen it coming didn’t mean you liked it. "Is that all? Do you really make me come here just to ask me that?"

And what came next was like a crack of thunder.

"How insolent!"

You shuddered, hating how his voice still had control over you. You wanted to stay deviant, but you couldn't keep yourself from shaking. You thought you would have to endure this shit just like you did before, until—

"Now, now... That's my wife you're talking to. I'd watch your words, if I were you."

You had never whipped your head so fast.

There stood Gojo Satoru, your husband, in all his glory. He was smiling but it was clear that he was displeased, evident from his cutting remark, and most notably, how he had unveiled his striking cerulean eyes for all to see. Truth to be told, you didn't expect him to barge in here at all.

"Gojo-sama," your father bowed his head, displaying utter respect towards him, contrasting the blatant disrespect he showed towards you just now. Satoru paid him no heed, as took big strides towards you and seized your arm, prompting you to rise to your feet.

"What is this? Why are you yelling at her?" His voice lacked its usual hint of amusement or teasing, sending a chill down your spine.

"Gojo-sama, I apologize for my tone towards my daughter earlier. I was just trying to educate—"

“My wife. She is my wife now, and it would do you better to remember that,” Satoru asserted firmly, putting emphasis in the way he addressed you, his gaze hardening. "She is an adult. There's nothing left for you to educate her." Pausing, he added, "And the way I saw it, you were just unnecessarily rude."

"Gojo-sama, there were just certain things in our clan that—"

"Please, don't call on us again," Satoru interjected decisively with a light yet firm voice. You could swear your heart was somersaulting at the sight of him staring down your natural enemy. "I'm sure you're aware, but your daughter bears my name now, and she will get the respect she is due. I will have a word with anyone who fails to treat her accordingly."

Somehow or another, Satoru whisked you away from that hellhole, your hand tightly clasped in his. Your relieved sigh didn't go unnoticed by him, as he looked back to you.

"Have you gone soft?" he teased, eyeing you with a playful snort. "Did you forget who your husband is? You've got nothing to fear. Not even him."

"Thank you," you murmured. Your heart was still pounding and your mind blanked, rendering you unable to engage in your usual banters.

His clear blue eyes widened a touch, blinking at your display of vulnerability, Then, he wore the most innocent expression, even sporting a silly smirk—the hardness from earlier gone. "I was really cool, huh? Totally made you swoon I bet."

And in MONTH THREE, you realized, as he laced his fingers with yours, as his laughter filled the air, as calmness swelled on your chest, and as you loudly snorted at his remark, that—

You felt warm, so warm, in fact, and maybe—

"Pfft, you wish."

—maybe... being with him isn't so bad after all.

MONTH FOUR, and you finally found out that it was Geto Suguru.

Everyone knew that your husband and the criminal used to be the best of friends. You saw them during your high school days, and heck, you used to think that Geto was the better man.

You could only imagine what he must feel.

. . .

When he got back to your shared house after the whole ordeal—after he ended his best friend with his own hands, Satoru honestly didn't expect that you would be waiting for him.

"You okay?" you asked him, brows furrowed in concern. It was probably one of the very few times you had displayed emotions other than contempt towards him.

It felt strange because he was used to your jabs, and he was not sure what sort of expression he should pull now, because truthfully, now he felt empty. Blank. All he comprehended was that he had killed Suguru, that he was gone, and that was something he must do.

It would be just like any other day if hadn't just committed a murder. On someone he held dear.

"Of course, who do you think I am?" Satoru swiftly replied, sounding smug—or at least tried to. "I'm the strongest. I’m unscat—"

"No, not that." You frowned, meeting his gaze squarely. "After everything."

Satoru struggled to choose how he should react, partly because most of his energy had gone after walking Yuta back and reassuring him earlier, and by default, the two of you should be hellbent on hating each other and wishing for this contract to end soon.

"Aww, are you worried about me?" he quipped with a touch of sarcasm just because he had to, to show you that it wasn't enough to ruffle him.

Because he is still the strongest, even when alone. Especially when he is alone.

You let out a sigh, looking away. "Can't I?"

"Whoa, that's sweet of—"

"Don't fool yourself," you stated in straight-laced manner, meeting his gaze with a composed expression. "You're not okay. You might be Gojo Satoru, but no one will be after doing what you just did."

You might be Gojo Satoru, but no one will be after doing what you just did.

Despite himself, his smile fell, and his chest burns. What is this? Were you sympathizing with him?

Does that mean that you don't see him as the entity... that was the strongest?

Before now, Satoru remembered you as the most uncooperative Kyoto girl he had ever met. Your first meeting in high school sealed your fate as the two of you could hardly get along. You didn't mince words, you didn't take shit from anyone else—heck, sometimes when he thought of you, what came up to mind was an impenetrable diamond.

Which was why he chose you. You were someone he could trust. You were pretty in the eyes and certainly wouldn't bore him either. His reasons were purely based on logic. And after four months with you, Satoru came to a conclusion that you indeed fulfilled all his expectations, if not more.

And he felt comfortable, or dare he say, secure even. He felt like he had gained a friend, who could see past his bravado and wouldn't judge him for it.

"You're..." you sighed, casting a sympathetic glance at him, your forehead slightly creased. At that moment, Satoru couldn't help but think you were incredibly endearing, fretting over him. "...an idiot."

"Heh." I really am, aren't I?

"I never knew him well..." you chose your words carefully, hesitant. "Did you try to convince him, before this?"

He barked a bitter laugh. "I did, we even made a scene in front of freaking KFC," he remarked with a scoff. "He didn't listen to me, until the very end."

You wanted to tell him “You have done everything you could” but the words faltered on your tongue. You couldn't bring yourself to say it when you saw the faint quiver of his lips, the slump of his shoulders—the very sight of a boy grieving the loss of his friend.

Your heart pricked too, somehow, seeing that expression on him. And you once again realized that your silly, exalted husband was just as human as anyone else who made him think he wasn’t.

"And you know what he said in the end?" Satoru's tone was flippant, as if asking the most normal thing around, but carried a trace of grief, evident in the slight drop in his tone if you squinted. "He said he didn't regret it, not even a bit."

"I'm sorry," was all you could manage.

Satoru's smile was lopsided. Now that he had finally accepted it, something inside him finally bleeds, and it freaking hurts. The pain gripped his chest like a swirling inferno.

But then, you boldly clasped his hand in yours, gently tracing soothing circles on its back.

"What?" he peered at you, feeling a ghost of a smile forming.

"Consider this emotional support."

And he chuckled softly. Despite the lingering ache, despite the gloom he was sure he would carry for the rest of his life, he felt the pain was more bearable with you by his side, somewhat.

How?

You blamed it on the alcohol, because it was MONTH FIVE and you were kissing Gojo Satoru, daringly.

"We shouldn't be doing this," you rasped between kisses, breathless, as your own sinful hands plucked the buttons off his shirt. The intoxication might have played a part, but the intense heat coursing through you made it hard to think straight.

Satoru crashed his lips against yours again, consumed by blind lust. "Yeah, we shouldn't," he replied in a rush. His breath was hot as he trailed his lips down your jaw and neck next, savoring the softness of your skin.

You two had attended a banquet for the elite, and you were unbelievably beautiful. Standing by his side as his wife, you drew admiring glances, with everyone marveling at what a remarkable couple you made. The Gojo heir who was born with the legendary Limitless and the Kamo heiress, as lovely as her clan's name was powerful.

His deft hands roamed the curves of your body, exploring every inch of you. The warmth of his hands tickled something inside you as you closed your eyes to sink into this very moment. Next you knew, his bare body was against yours and you were stripped out of your evening dress.

Lust flickered in his honored eyes, as he took in the sight of you in your undergarments.

"You're really pretty, you know," he whispered. The intensity with which his eyes scanned your form made you nearly squirm. "Shame we don't always get along."

"You're one to talk," you retorted, a hint of exasperation in your tone, as you willed all other thoughts away. Thoughts like what comes after this. Thoughts like—

Is it heaven or sin, if you feel both at once?

His thumb tenderly caressed your plush lips, a hint of a smirk on his beautiful face.

He has long been thinking about your body. He was but a man, after all. He just didn't expect that you wanted this too.

There was always this tension, only this time, neither of you could hold it back anymore. Perhaps it was impulse—hell, most certainly it is, but there was another thing, something more that even Gojo Satoru still didn't dare to say out loud.

"Eager, are we?" he taunted when you leaned in, yearning for the touch of his lips on yours again.

You huffed. “Shut up and kiss me.”

A rush of heat flooded your cheeks at the slip of those words. You were about to rectify it, taken aback by your own boldness, but then he drew you close, silencing any further protest with a gentle hush—

"Too late, sweetheart," his husky voice entered your ears, lips curling into the most wicked smile, and you were in a trance. And Satoru was once again convinced, that choosing you as his wife was the rightest thing there was.

If the two of you went with this, then there would be consequences. Things would become more complicated, harder to sort out.

But, he decided, as he captured your lips in another heated kiss, everything else can wait.

MONTH SIX, and you were dreading the day of your divorce.

You brought this upon yourself. Whenever you reminisced about that night, you wanted to smack yourself in the face and bang your head against the nearest wall.

This marriage has a time limit. And you were doing it out of convenience in the first place.

You weren't supposed to… goddammit—fall in love with him.

But what's done is done, there is no going back in time. Awkward exchanges and lingering stares had been gnawing at your insides these days, and you were sure Satoru too must have noticed them too. You two used to be more relaxed with each other, and he'd even flirt with you, but weeks ever since that night of drunken passion, you almost reverted back to your high school personas—ignoring each other.

This was tough. You didn't like this. And more than that, you were faced with a more pressuring matter...

Gojo Satoru, with everything he possessed, could have had any woman he wanted. This arrangement with you was temporary in the first place, soon he would forget you and flit to the next woman.

The thought made your heart ache, because you had involuntarily gave your heart away to him. Siiigh… What a predicament you put yourself into, huh?

With just a month left together, maybe you should just make the best of it.

. . .

If you thought that things were any better with Satoru, then you were sorely wrong because he too, was debating with himself often nowadays.

Days spent with you were fun and fulfilling. You irked expression somehow had made its mark in his heart. You were pretty, fit to be by his side publicly and preferably, behind the closed doors. With you, he didn't feel the need to carry this facade of being strong—he could be a clown tripping over his own trap and you would amuse him with your deadpan expression.

And ever since that night, he was constantly reminded by how soft your skin was against his. It almost drove him crazy now that he was deprived of it.

How was it the last month already? He wasn't ready to let you go yet.

When he got back home later after his class ended and found you in the dinner table setting the food, all he could muster was, "Hey. Haven't eaten?"

You whirled around to face him in surprise. "Oh... you're back. Just about to. Want to join me?"

Of course he would. And yet as the two of you sat down, it was so painfully awkward Satoru felt like he was dying inside.

Why couldn't he pull off a smart line or two? Where did his suaveness go? He was smoother than this, surely, with his colorful history. One night of passion was supposed to enhance the relationship, not to derail it. What happened to you both?

The salt was near his side when you reached to grab it and bumped into his hand. "Uh-oh."

Turning towards you, he found your spooked expression and your adorable eyes widening in surprise. "S-sorry..."

It was just freaking salt! Salt! Why on earth were you apologizing?!

Enough, he thought. This utter madness of being jumpy with each other. He'd start from his side.

Does he want you to keep being his wife even after all this ends? Yes.

Why? All reasons already listed above.

Does this mean he likes you? Apparently and supposedly, yes. Because if it isn't then he doesn't know what this funny feeling driving him mad is.

With that sorted out, then he only had one more thing to confirm. He put down his spoon and crossed his arms together. "Tell me the truth. Do you like living with me?"

His question obviously took you by surprise. "Huh? What brought this on?"

"Just give me an answer."

"You're so pushy," you grumbled, lips pursed, and he felt like you were finally back to your usual dynamics somewhat. Good.

"Sooo, the verdict? Do you enjoy being with me or not?"

Because to him, it was a resounding yes and more.

Ignoring the warmth that surged to your cheeks, you rolled your eyes. "Surprisingly, not bad, yeah," you admitted, mustering the courage to meet his gaze. "You're annoying, an idiot, a bit crazy—"

"Hey!"

"—but eventually you're still... manageable," you added, feeling your face truly start to sizzle. But covered it up by looking down and playing with your fingers as you still had more to go on. "What I want to say is... I'm glad that I agreed to this—with you—because I can’t imagine it with anyone else."

An unfamiliar tingling emotion rushed to his chest as his face too started to heat up, letting your words sink in. Is he blushing? Oh God. He sure is. And so did he feel hella giddy.

Then it’s sealed.

Suddenly he procured a piece of paper from his work uniform and showed it to you. You first saw his lazily scrawled signature before it dawned on you.

The contract. You almost forgot that you made him sign that looming piece of paper. You were almost dismayed, thinking that he would end this right then and there, but then—

“Well, then… I suppose we no longer need this.”

Riiip~

Your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when Gojo Satoru tore out your contract right in front of your face, the most brilliant of his devilish grin adorned his handsome face, as he took off his blindfold to see you far clearly than ever. Heavens, you are cute, he thought.

“Soooo~ seems like you’re stuck with me from now on!”

You gaped, awestruck at the blatant meaning of it all, feeling how your heartbeat started to pick up the pace, when he pulled the rag out of your feet once more by tilting his head to the side, looking at you with a winning smile.

“Let’s start over! What did they say again? Ah, yeah. Here’s to the first day of our lives!”

[nadvs]

Hello! Im the anon who asked for a fic with rivaly at college 😍 OMG! I love what this turned in to. You are an incredible writer!! I hope you know that. You have me hooked. You write dialog amazingly. It feels so real. Never stop writing!!

Can you write something about when she get jealous? Maybe when he is in the NBA?

Hope you have a great day!

Love from Sweden

HIII omg it’s such a good premise!! i remember being in love with it the second i read your ask 🙂‍↕️ thank you so much 💘 i’m so touched that people like the au and want more of it 🥹

based on this fic

» au masterlist

rafe can get wildly, intensely jealous. and while they often joke about how similar they are, that’s one trait she doesn’t share with him. until he gets signed and moves away.

he doesn’t have as much time for texts and calls. he’s training with his new team, working up to the season. she gets it. or at least, she tries to.

she already had unwelcome thoughts swimming in her head when he had been signed to a team states away about him getting lost in the fame and potentially being unfaithful. she never worried about him cheating before. and she hates that she’s doing it now.

but she tries to keep it in. things between them are already tense. accusing him of something just because she’s insecure isn’t fair and will likely just push him away.

then, she visits him. they share their first i love you’s. they’re in a good place.

but when the season starts, that’s another story. it’s surreal seeing her boyfriend play on tv on such a massive scale, thousands of seats surrounding the court filled. she’s so happy for him and whenever the camera focuses on him, she can tell he’s nervous and she loves that she’s the only one in the world who knows it.

but then between periods, she catches glimpses of his team’s cheerleaders before the cuts to commercial. and she can’t lie to herself that these girls are beautiful. and she wonders if maybe he already lived out the college fantasy. maybe now that he’s a professional player, he’ll have his eyes on professional cheerleaders. or really, any girl, because she’s sure he could get any girl he wants.

as the season goes on, because she likes to keep up with the nba on social media, specifically him and his team, her tiktok automatically shows her videos and edits of her boyfriend, some comments from fans about how he’s the next best thing, but most from girls going crazy over how hot he is.

it puts her into a funk. he sees gorgeous cheerleaders at every game. he gets comments on his instagram from beautiful girls. the internet is losing their mind over him. how can she possibly compare?

so, the next night she’s on facetime with him, she can’t hold it back any longer. after they talk about their days, she starts to pick at a string on her shirt, looking down.

“so…” she says. “do you ever get a chance to talk to the cheerleaders?”

rafe looks at her with knitted brows. she’s been off since she picked up the phone, seemingly mad at him. it’s not like them to not be direct.

“baby, what’s wrong?” he asks.

“nothing,” she lies. “just wondering if you ever talk to them. they’re good dancers.”

he hates the way her lips are turned into a frown, her eyes off the screen.

“i only wanna talk to one cheerleader and she’s pretending she’s not mad at me right now,” he says.

this earns a smirk from her.

“they’re all so pretty,” she says. “i’m not blind. and you’re not, either. there’s no way you haven’t noticed them.”

“i moved here to play,” rafe tells her.

“and you know girls online are going crazy for you,” she continues. “don’t act like you haven’t seen all the comments on your instagram.”

rafe studies her image on the screen.

“you know you have nothing to be jealous of, right?” he says. he hates to admit it, but it’s kind of flattering, especially because she isn’t usually the intensely jealous type. it shows him she still wants him.

she sighs. of course he sees right through her. not like she’s being subtle anyway.

“i do, though,” she says. “and maybe it’s stupid to talk about because i’m annoying you and making you feel like i don’t trust-”

“you’re not annoying me,” he interrupts. “you’re being really cute, actually.”

“cute,” she scoffs, her eyes still low.

“look at yourself on your phone,” he says. she rolls her eyes and obliges, gazing at her reflection on the screen.

“now what?” she mumbles.

“if you can’t see how beautiful you are, maybe you are blind,” he says.

“stop,” she laughs softly. “it’s not that i don’t trust you. it’s just that… it has to feel like a waste to be getting all this attention and ignoring it all because of some girl back home, doesn’t it?”

“some girl,” he echoes. “you think you’re just some girl?”

she shrugs. his chest aches.

“you’re my best friend,” he says. “i wouldn’t fuck this up for anything or anyone in the world. you’re it for me.”

her vision blurs with tears. she flattens her lips together and finally nods.

“sorry,” she says weakly.

“for what?”

“for being so jealous.”

“i already told you it’s cute,” he says. she smiles again.

“i love you, okay?” she mumbles.

“i love you, too, okay?” he teases.

they talk for another hour, then she tells him she needs to go to sleep so she’s not totally exhausted for her morning lecture. he has the day off the next day, so he stays up a bit longer on his phone after they hang up.

when she wakes up, she sees hundreds of instagram notifications on her phone. rafe posted a photo of them from the last time she visited, tagging her with the caption: All I need.

before she even gets out of bed, she’s crying. because of how good he is to her. because he’s telling the world he belongs to someone already. because she’s sure that he loves her just as much as she loves him.

[silentgravesdontexist]

Renovating my room means I'm blasting music through the speaker. And I am also just stuck on Hozier's music (if u don't know him— now you do). So, here are Hozier's music that I think suits the following OP men!

Featured Characters: Ace, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Brook, and Usopp

CW: Suggestive Content (it's Hozier. Ofc, there're going to be some feral undertones)

Note: I might edit this and add more if I feel like it.

Portgas D. Ace

I had a thought, dear However scary About that night The bugs and the dirt Why were you digging? What did you bury Before those hands pulled me From the earth?

I will not ask you where you came from I will not ask you, neither should you

Honey just put your sweet lips on my lips We should just kiss like real people do

To Ace, you were the one who brought him back to life and away from the darkness of his own mind. There was that understanding between the two of you. Both knew the other had a past haunting like a shadow.

He won't pry. He won't undo the stitches of whatever had hurt you in the past. Let the ghosts stay as they are— just let him love you now. Two people that simply fell in love with each other.

The two of you feel like broken pieces of a whole to form a mosaic in each other's embrace. It becomes a chaotic madness that only the two of you could understand the raw beauty of it.

Monkey D. Luffy

Boys workin' on empty Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat? I just think about my baby I'm so full of love I could barely eat There's nothing sweeter than my baby I'd never want once from the cherry tree 'Cause my baby's sweet as can be She give me toothaches just from kissin' me When, my, time comes around Lay me gently in the cold dark earth No grave can hold my body down I'll crawl home to her

As playful as Luffy can be, he's fiercely loyal. He'll go through hell and back just to have you in his arms. May it be against the world, heavens, or even the universe its— he won't let it take you away. He can't lose another loved one.

He's already done this for so many people. No pain nor torture could stop this man from being with you. Not even the gods can help the ones who even dare try to.

The guy won't die for you. Luffy would make sure he's alive to make sure you're safe and happy. That's why not even death could keep him away.

Roronoa Zoro

You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to smile at me, smile at me like that You know better, babe, you know better, babe Than to hold me just, hold me just like that

I know who I am when I'm alone I'm something else when I see you You don't understand, you should never know How easy you are to need

Don't let me in with no intention to keep me Jesus Christ, don't be kind to me Honey, don't feed me, I will come back

A man of solitude finally found the place to call his home. Zoro keeps to himself, and yet you wormed your way into his life without realizing the effect you had on him.

There's a silent intensity to it. He's a man of strict self-discipline. He knows who he is. But with you? Gods, a switch turns on in his brain that makes him feral.

The warmth of your soul seeped deep into the crevices of his bones and warmed him from the inside. How could he not need you and the warmth you've shown him?

Sanji

I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus When her body was found (hey ya) I'd be the choiceless hope in grief That drove him underground (hey ya) I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee That made him turn around (hey ya) And I'd be the immediate forgiveness In Eurydice Imagine being loved by me!

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we'd do So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

Oh, everyone knows Sanji isn't by any means silent with his affections. But behind those honey-like words of adoration? Behind the hands that hold you so tenderly? There's an underlying heat to it that consumes him whole.

He won't tell you— not yet. Too afraid to scare you away by the growing desire in his chest. He doesn't just want you. He needs you.

That's why he'll put up a front of a dignified lover to you. Fawning over every little detail of your being while his fingers ache to feel the warmth of your bare skin.

Brook

She's gonna save me, call me "baby" Run her hands through my hair She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily Better yet, she wouldn't care We'll steal her Lexus, be detectives Ride 'round picking up clues We'll name our children, Jackie and Wilson Raise 'em on rhythm and blues

Lord, it'd be great to find a place we could escape sometime Me and my Isis growing black irises in the sunshine Every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside We'd sit back and watch the world go by

In the vast lonely life Brook lived, there was something about you that made him forget what loneliness ever felt like in the first place. You're just it to him.

No matter how peculiar he may seemed— you were always there by his side. Laughing along his jokes. Even matching his humor and love for music.

You are his muse. And he'd gladly play the ballad of your love until the end of time, if you'd let him.

Usopp

Remember once I told you 'bout How before I heard it from your mouth My name would always hit my ears As such an awful sound And the soul, if that's what you'd call it Uneasy ally of the body It felt nameless as a river undiscovered underground

And the first time that you kissed me I drank dry the River Lethe The Liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same But you spoke some quick new music That went so far to soothe this soul As it was and ever shall be Unearth without a name

Some part of me must have died The first time that you called me baby And some part of me came alive The first time that you called me baby

Usopp knew that there was this part of him that felt hollow with all the grandoise stories he tells. And the way you would always listen to him as if you truly believed his words made him feel as though he was saved.

Bit by bit, he no longer lived in the tales he spun in his mind. He lived in the moment— with you. All the adventures you two would go on together were all he could ever talk about now.

It felt great because it was real. You were real. Choosing him despite all his flaws and quirks. To have given him the honor to hold your heart in his hands and be the one to protect it.

~~~~~~~

Okay, I might make a part 2 for this w/ Jimbei, Shanks, Law, Kid, and Yamato. Here's my masterlist to check it out!

~~~~~~~

Taglist: @that-student-that-has-homework @captainportgasdace @ofoceansandtombsanew @lynndt-chocolate

[differentpostrebel]

Lost and Found: A Pirate's Promise

The first gif cause Sanji is fine in this Gif, and the second gif adds to the story also lmfaooo

Chapter 28: A Dangerous Gamble

A/N: We are back at it again with another chapter! Don’t worry you guys I’m still creating that masterlist. But when I tell you the next chapters are cooking! Like we getting, all of the action. also Ive been seeing alot of edits on TT with these guys along with a few more I have in store and when I tell you I went FERALLLL!!!! Like someone hold me! Thank you guys so much for the follows, the likes, the comments, the interactions just everything! I cant wait for you guys to read what I have in store! But without further ado, let the adventure begin!

Word Count: 6.2K 

Sanji X Reader, Sanji X Y/N, One Piece X Reader 

Sanji POV.. 

“Yeah, we barely escaped, both the Navy and Doflamingo,” I spoke to Usopp via the transponder snail, my voice tinged with frustration. “Also, have any of you guys seen or even heard from Y/N?” My heart raced with worry.

“Wait, why? What happened?!” Usopp's voice cracked with concern.

“I lost her... and no one knows where she is,” I admitted, my hands tightening around the snail. “Doflamingo has something planned for her, and it pains me that I’m not there with her.”

Usopp’s expression turned grave. “We’ll find her, Sanji. We have to. Don’t lose hope.”

“I’m trying not to,” I said, “but it’s hard when I can’t even get a lead on where she might be. Every moment counts.” 

“What's worse is we’re heading to Zou, so I won’t be able to kick some ass in order to find her,” I said into the transponder snail, taking a drag of my cigarette. My frustration was evident in my voice.

“What? Sanji, you’re not planning on leaving us here?!” Usopp’s voice came through, filled with alarm.

“Hold on a minute,” Franky’s voice interrupted, “What are Luffy and Law up to?”

As I was about to respond, I heard Franky’s question. “Zoro and Kinemon are outside the Colosseum trying to find Luffy so they can bring him up to speed. After that, they’re going to look for Y/N.”

“And Law?” Franky asked.

“Well…” 

Law POV… 

With the Sunny crew heading to Zou and the remaining Straw Hats carrying out their plan, I made my way to the bridge with Giolla. The blade was close to her neck, a constant reminder of the precarious situation we were in. My mind kept drifting to Y/N. I can only hope you are safe and far from Doflamingo’s grasp, I thought.

Footsteps echoed closer, the fog obscuring the figure’s approach. I tightened my grip on my sword, preparing for whatever was to come. As Doflamingo emerged from the mist, his mocking tone cut through the air.

“What’s the point in letting half of the Straw Hats escape?” he taunted. “The rest of them are still in Dressrosa. All I have to do is hold them hostage, and they'll hand me Caesar in exchange for them.”

“Many have underestimated them and paid the price,” I replied defiantly. “Do you really want to add your name to that list?”

“At any rate, my pirate alliance with the Straw Hat crew is coming to its natural conclusion. Do I have to spell it out for you? From the moment I met up with them, I was using them. They'll be destroying the SMILE factory, and as much as I want to revel in killing you, Kaido is going to do that anyway.” I retorted, gripping my blade tighter. “Beside, I want to make you pay for what you did thirteen years ago” I said, my anger evident. 

“Make me pay... for what happened to you thirteen years ago?” “Come on, Law. Holding Giolla hostage isn’t going to change anything.” Doflamingo’s laugh was chilling. 

“You're right. That’s not all you lost. With Caesar gone, you no longer have a hold on the SMILE factory,” I said, my voice dripping with contempt.

Doflamingo’s smirk widened. “My, you are still mad. Grudges aren’t good for your health, you know.”

“This isn’t a grudge,” I retorted, my eyes burning with determination. “I’m seeing his dream through to the end!”

With that, I launched a series of relentless attacks at Doflamingo. Each strike was fueled by the anger and frustration I felt

Sanji POV…

“You better protect my sweet Robin, understand, Usopp!” I said into the transponder snail, the urgency in my voice unmistakable. “And also, keep an eye out for my Y/N!” I added, as I took a drag of my cigarette. I hung up the call, letting out a long sigh. “This anxiety is killing me,” I thought, running my fingers through my hair. “Y/N could be hurt, injured, or worse…”

I shook those thoughts out of my head, trying to stay focused. “Is everything okay, Sanji?” Chopper asked, his voice filled with concern.

“I was just making sure that Robin is safe since she’s with Franky and Usopp right now. I wanted to let them know to keep an eye out for Y/N if they see her,” I explained, my voice tinged with worry.

“Okay, so if Kinemon and Zoro are with Luffy, that means they would need to find Y/N, right?” Chopper said, trying to piece things together.

“Well, knowing mosshead, that’s going to take 50 years, since he’s lousy with directions,” I grumbled. “Damn it! I knew I should have stuck with my gut and stayed.” I grabbed at my hair, a habit I developed when smoking didn’t ease my anxiety anymore.

“I’m awfully worried about Traffy and Y/N, though,” Chopper said, his voice low.

“Traffy is a big boy; he can handle it,” I replied. “Y/N, although I know she can handle anything, knowing what that creep wanted to do to her and what he planned on doing to her makes me sick.” I clenched my hands, the frustration and helplessness boiling within me.

 Momo began recounting a memory he had of Doflamingo, but my mind drifted away to thoughts of someone who wasn't Y/N. “Ahh, why are you happy?!” he exclaimed, breaking through my reverie.

“Don’t worry, being taken hostage isn’t all bad, especially when it’s a beautiful woman doing it,” I said, swooning with a blush on my cheeks.

“You’re obviously thinking about something else; at least pretend to care!” Momo chided.

“That reminds me, Violet said she’d be okay too,” I said, as my mind wandered to our last moments together.

Flashback

“I’ll be fine. I talked to my friend, and I’m certain the government will protect me,” Violet said, as we rode the toy horse together.

“Really?” I asked, still concerned.

“Just trust me,” she said with a reassuring smile.

“Okay, I’d feel better if I could go along with you, but as long as you’re safe, I…” I started to say before Violet reached for my hand.

“You’ve done enough. How can I ever show you my gratitude?” she asked, her eyes filled with sincerity.

I blushed at her words. “Well, you could give me a kiss on the cheek, and then maybe a little kiss on the lips,” I said, my voice tinged with shyness.

With that, I felt the warm impact of Violet’s lips on mine. The kiss was soft but filled with gratitude. I was about to ask for more when Violet suddenly pulled away.

“Oh no, it would seem your ship is under attack by flying fish!” she exclaimed.

“What! What are those?!” I shouted, bewildered.

“No time; you must go!” she urged.

As I skywalked into the sky, leaving Violet behind, I headed back to the Sunny, the urgency of the situation driving me forward.

Flashback end

I sighed deeply, shaking the memory from my mind. “I hope Violet is okay,” I muttered.

Zoro POV… 

Ten minutes before Y/N called…

“Hey!! I’m up here! You guys wanted to talk to me!” Luffy yelled, his voice echoing through the Colosseum.

“Luffy! Quiet down! We don’t want anybody to hear!” I yelled back, trying to keep my frustration in check.

Luffy laughed, clearly unbothered. “Wow, sorry! I was just happy to see you!”

“Ahh, so you met with the green-haired man. At first, I was apprehensive about trusting him, but he seemed quite eager to offer his assistance,” Kinemon said, his gaze scanning the area.

“Where is he now?” I demanded, trying to keep my focus sharp.

“I don’t know. He just, like, passed out…” Luffy said, sounding somewhat unconcerned.

“Passed out?! What the hell is wrong with him?!” I exclaimed, my frustration mounting.

“Hey, by the way, have you seen Y/N yet?” Luffy asked, changing the subject.

“Actually, yeah. She just called,” I said, trying to keep my tone steady.

“Really?!” Luffy’s eyes widened. “What did she say?”

“Something about her being safe and that she’ll call back in a few minutes,” I replied. “I’m worried about her, Luffy. She said she was chased down by three men block after block.”

Luffy’s expression shifted to one of concern. “Three men, huh? That doesn’t sound good. We need to find her as soon as possible.” 

“I agree,” I said, my voice grim. Just then, a call from my transponder snail went through.

“Hello?! Y/N?!” I said urgently.

“Y/N?! Where have you been?!” Luffy’s voice crackled through the line, his grin evident even over the transponder snail.

“Hey, Captain. How’s it going? I was checking on your fight. I wish I was there to kick some ass too!” Y/N said, her laughter coming through, which was oddly comforting.

“Same here, Y/N,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm even though my concern for her was growing.

Y/N began to explain that Doflamingo had been tracking her since she arrived and that three men had been chasing her block after block. My rage spiked with every word.

“Where are you?!” Luffy demanded, his tone sharper than usual. It was one thing to mess with him, but to mess with his crewmate was a whole other story.

“Don’t worry, Luffy. I’m safe. I’m with…” Y/N said, but I couldn’t quite catch the last part. Her voice was muffled, and it sounded like she was with someone, but the connection was poor.

“I have a plan, but I want to ask your permission first,” she continued.

“What’s the plan?” Luffy asked, his focus entirely on the call now. 

“I’m going to have Doflamingo take me to his palace,” Y/N said, calm but with an edge of seriousness that instantly put me on alert.

“Wait... AS IN KIDNAPPED?!” I yelled, my voice immediately rising. “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND?!”

“Yes, as in kidnapped,” she replied, unfazed. “I need to draw him away from the Colosseum. Once I’m in the palace, I’ll try to dismantle his operation from the inside. It’ll buy you guys time to get there so we can finish the job.”

“This is insane!” I snapped. “You’re not just walking into a trap—you’re running into it! How many things can go wrong here, Y/N? Do we need to pull out the list? You’re going up against a warlord who is psychotic, you could get thrown in a dungeon, or worse! And we won’t even know where you are!”

There was a pause, then Y/N responded with that annoying calmness. “I know the risks, Zoro. But it’s the only way to distract him long enough for you guys to make your move.”

Luffy, who had been quiet up until now, suddenly chimed in. “Y/N, this is risky, even for you...”

“I know,” she answered, her voice steady. “But I can do this. If I can get him off the streets and into the palace, it’ll give us the upper hand. You just need to trust me.”

“Trust you?” I scoffed, rubbing the back of my neck in frustration. “I trust you, but this plan is reckless even by your standards! Do you even know what you're up against?”

Another pause, and then Y/N let out a small laugh, which irritated me even more. “Zoro, I’ll be fine. Just make sure you guys get to the palace. I’ll be waiting.”

Before I could protest more, Luffy jumped in, cutting me off mid-sentence. “Okay, Y/N. If that’s what you want, we’ll trust you. But you better be careful! We’ll get there as soon as I figure a way out of this Colosseum.”

I clenched my fists, not fully convinced. “This is still a terrible idea... If anything happens to you, I’m coming to drag your reckless ass out of there myself.”

Y/N’s voice lightened, trying to ease the tension. “I know you will, Zoro. But you won’t have to. Just be ready when it’s time.”

The call ended with that, and I stood there, my frustration boiling under the surface.

“Damn it, why does she always have to make things difficult?” I muttered. 

Luffy turned to me, his expression serious. “We gotta trust her. She wouldn’t do this if she didn’t believe it would work.” 

I sighed, still irritated. “I don’t like it. But if Y/N’s already in, we need to make sure we’re ready to follow through. This is going to get messy.”

Law POV… 

I struggled to stay on my feet, each breath feeling heavier than the last. The pain in my knees throbbed with every movement, but the thought of Y/N—captured, helpless—burned in my mind like a raging fire. I couldn’t let her be taken. Not her. Not after everything.

Doflamingo’s laughter grated on my ears, his voice full of mockery. “You look like you’re about to collapse, Law. Just how much longer do you think you can keep this up?”

I glared up at him, blood dripping from my wounds, but my focus was elsewhere—on Y/N. She was out there, trapped in his twisted web, and I was running out of time to save her. My hands tightened around my sword, trembling from the exhaustion.

“You can mock me all you want, Doflamingo,” I growled, my voice low but filled with fury. “But I’m not done yet. I’ll tear you apart before I let you lay another hand on her.”

But my body betrayed me. I could feel my stamina slipping away, the strength in my legs faltering. “Room!” I called out once more, though my powers flickered, weaker now. I felt my ability straining to stay active, but I refused to stop.

Doflamingo smirked, casually flicking away my efforts like they were nothing. “Pathetic,” he said. “But keep struggling, Law. It’s amusing to watch you crawl while I’ve already won.”

His words pierced through the fog of pain in my mind. I knew what he wanted—he wanted to see me suffer, to see me broken before he took Y/N away forever. The thought sent a surge of rage through me. I won’t give him that satisfaction.

I tried again, pushing my body to its limit. My sword swung, aiming for him, but Doflamingo dodged it effortlessly, almost playfully. His string bullets followed, slamming into my legs again, sending me crashing to the ground.

The pain was blinding, but worse than that was the sickening feeling of helplessness creeping in. I bit down hard, forcing myself not to scream, but I could barely move.

Then, his transponder snail rang, cutting through the chaos. I looked up through blurry vision, seeing Doflamingo’s smirk widen as he answered the call.

"Hello, this better be important," he said, his voice dripping with malice. The words that followed made my blood run cold.

"Sir, we got her… we got the girl, young master!" came the voice on the other end.

I froze, my heart pounding so hard it drowned out the sound of everything else. Y/N. No. This can’t be happening. She can’t be in his hands.

Doflamingo's laugh cut through me like a blade. "I knew she couldn’t run forever. Tied up nice and snug, is she?"

“Yeah, she is. She's tied up. Meet us at the Colosseum at the front, so you can take her,” the voice said.

Doflamingo’s eyes glinted with sadistic glee as he hung up. He turned to me, relishing in my helplessness. “You hear that, Law? Looks like your little princess is mine now. And you? You’re going to watch me take her. Let’s head to the Coliseum, I want you to see her all tied up, broken, and realize that you couldn’t save her.”

The weight of those words crushed me. Y/N. My breath hitched, my vision narrowing to a tunnel of fury and desperation. I forced myself to move, despite the pain, despite the exhaustion.

But unfortunately, Doflamingo launched one more attack, his strings cutting through the air with deadly precision, and before I could react, my body gave out and fell to the ground, powerless. As darkness crept in, the last thing I saw was his cruel smile, and the only thought in my mind was that I had failed her. 

Zoro POV…

"Hey, mosshead! Any updates on Y/N?" Sanji's voice crackled through the transponder snail, sounding as impatient as ever.

I rolled my eyes at the snail, which mimicked his curly eyebrow expression. “Now you listen, curly brow…” I started, but then paused. “Actually, yes. She was able to get in contact with us.”

"WHAT? You did?!” Sanji's voice shot up an octave, panic immediately kicking in. “Is she okay? Did Doflamingo do something to her?!”

The transponder snail mimicked Sanji's frantic expression, and I could practically hear the others in the background, freaking out—Chopper, Brook, and Momo wailing in unison.

I sighed, trying to stay calm. “No, she says she’s safe. But…” I hesitated, knowing this was going to cause a scene. “She’s got a reckless plan.”

"RECKLESS PLAN?!" Sanji shouted, his voice nearly causing the snail to vibrate. "Mosshead, what did you say to her? Why didn’t you stop her?!”

“Tch, hey! It’s not my fault, curly brow! She decided this on her own!” I snapped back, gripping the transponder snail like it was his neck.

“Mosshead!” Sanji growled through the snail, his voice dripping with frustration. “What the hell is she thinking?! You didn’t just let her go, did you?! You know how dangerous Doflamingo is!”

I clenched my teeth, trying not to let him get under my skin. “She’s planning to go head-on with Doflamingo,” I said flatly, waiting for the inevitable explosion.

The transponder snail’s eyes widened comically. "SHE'S DOING WHAT?!" Sanji’s voice boomed through the receiver. "Why didn’t you stop her, mosshead?! Do you even understand what Doflamingo is capable of, what he plans on doing to her?!"

I gripped the transponder snail tighter. "You think I didn’t try? She’s as stubborn as hell you idiot! She’s doing this for a reason!"

There was a tense silence, only interrupted by the muffled sounds of Chopper and Brook still panicking in the background. Then Sanji's voice came through again, quieter but no less furious. “If anything happens to her, mosshead… I’ll make you regret not stopping her.”

I closed my eyes, feeling the weight of his words. “I know,” I muttered, my voice low. “But if it comes to that, I’ll be the one to cut down Doflamingo. I won’t let her fall.”

Before Sanji could respond, a deafening crash echoed in the distance. I snapped my eyes open, and the transponder snail mimicked Luffy’s frantic expression as his voice boomed through it. "Doflamingo! And Traffy!" he shouted. "What the hell is going on?! Traffy, why are you fighting Mingo?!"

We barely had time to process what Luffy was saying before we saw it. Doflamingo had his gun drawn, pointing it directly at Law.

Bang! The gunshot rang out, and Law’s body jerked back, blood spraying from the wound. “Damn brat,” Doflamingo growled, taking aim again.

Bang! The second shot tore through the air, hitting Law once more, sending him crashing to the ground. I cursed under my breath. “Not good!”

Just as Doflamingo was about to fire a third time, a sudden, blinding yellow light zipped through the chaos, cutting through the tension in the air.

"Get away from him!" a familiar voice yelled, echoing across the battlefield. The bright light morphed into a swift kick, slamming into Doflamingo’s chest and sending him flying into the nearby buildings. The impact was so powerful that the walls exploded into debris, raining down across the area.

As the dust and debris began to settle, a figure stepped forward, racing toward Law, who lay crumpled on the ground, barely clinging to consciousness. “I’m sorry, guys,” the familiar voice called out, softer now, filled with regret. “I was a bit late.”

The figure knelt beside Law, gently cradling his head, their voice trembling slightly. “I’m sorry, Law,” they repeated. “I couldn’t stop the first bullets... but I’m here now.”

As the last of the dust cleared, the blinding yellow light faded, revealing the face of the person who had saved him. My heart skipped a beat, disbelief and relief flooding through me.

"It’s Y/N!" I shouted, my voice filled with a mix of shock and relief.

Y/N POV… 

As I watched Zoro and Kin'emon from my hidden spot, my heart raced with anxiety. I knew the odds were against me—this plan had a 95% chance of backfiring—but there was still that 5% hope, and I had to cling to it. My eyes flicked to the Colosseum again. “Sabo should be in there by now,” I thought, trying to reassure myself.

I reached for the two small hidden blades strapped to my sides, pulling them out as I remembered the lesson King had given me about these blades. His voice echoed in my mind, calm and mysterious. 

Flashback…

“These blades, although they seem ordinary, can create quite a damaging effect,” he had said as he handed them to me.

I had stared at them skeptically. “So, what do they do?” I had asked, turning them over in my hands.

“They are meant to enhance your skills while helping you channel your abilities,” he explained, leaning back in his chair like it was obvious.

I had been frustrated by his cryptic explanation. “Well, how the hell am I supposed to use this?” I had muttered, annoyed that he was speaking in riddles rather than giving me straight answers.

He had simply smiled. “Once you channel all that energy, you will soon learn of their true purpose.”

End of flashback…

Now, standing in the shadows of the Colosseum, I gripped the blades tighter, trying to channel the energy within me, just as he had instructed. I could feel the familiar warmth building in my hands as a yellow light began to glow faintly around the blades.

Suddenly, a massive impact shook the ground, sending debris flying everywhere. I instinctively covered my face with my arms, the sharp dust and rocks pelting my skin. “Doflamingo must have arrived,” I thought, heart pounding in anticipation.

But when the dust cleared, my breath caught in my throat. Law. He was lying on the ground, bloodied and unmoving.

“Law?!” I whispered, shock and confusion hitting me like a tidal wave. "What the hell happened to the plan with Caesar? Did it fall through?"

The urgency of the situation took over as I heard two gunshots ring out, echoing through the air. Doflamingo had just shot Law again. My heart pounded as I saw him preparing to strike once more. Without thinking, I lifted my left leg, the yellow light around me intensifying, and dashed toward them.

"Get away from him!" I shouted, channeling all my strength into a kick aimed directly at Doflamingo’s chest. The impact sent him flying back, crashing into nearby buildings. Debris exploded across the area, shrouding everything in dust. As the light around me began to fade, I heard Zoro’s voice, full of disbelief.

"What the hell just happened?" he muttered.

Breathing heavily, I looked down at Law’s battered form. His lips trembled as he muttered broken words: "Cora... Y/N…" My heart clenched as I knelt beside him, cradling his head in my hands. My voice cracked as I whispered, "I'm sorry, Law. I wasn’t here in time to stop the first bullets... but I’m here now." The ache in my chest deepened, seeing him like this.

"Tell us what’s going on, please!" Sanji’s voice rang out through the transponder snail. I barely registered it as Zoro approached me, concern etched on his face.

“Y/N...” Zoro said, his tone more gentle than usual.

"What?! What’s going on?!" Sanji demanded again, his voice filled with panic as it crackled through the transponder snail.

Murmurs began to fill the air around us. I could hear the marine soldiers in the distance.

"She struck a warlord!" one of them gasped in disbelief.

"That’s Princess Y/N, she’s with the Strawhats!" another soldier pointed out, his voice trembling with both shock and admiration.

"No way... she actually landed a clean hit!" whispered another.

Kin’emon approached, bowing slightly in my direction. "It would appear that Lady Y/N has now arrived," he said, his tone filled with admiration and respect.

Before I could respond, Sanji’s frantic voice came through the snail once more. "Let me talk to her! Please!"

Kin’emon moved to hand me the transponder snail, but before I could take it, the sharp crack of a gunshot filled the air. My body tensed.

Doflamingo emerged from the dust, walking toward us slowly, a twisted smirk on his face. "My, my, that kick nearly took me out. I’ve got to hand it to you, princess," he sneered, his voice dripping with mockery. "I’m liking this side of you."

I stood up, my heart burning with anger. "Doflamingo…" I muttered, my grip tightening around my blades.

"Y/N, wait!" Zoro called out, his voice filled with warning.

"Y/N!" Law rasped, barely able to speak, his voice weak but desperate. “Tell me what’s going on?!” Luffy’s voice echoed from the Colosseum

I stared down Doflamingo, my mind racing. The tension was thick in the air, and everything seemed to freeze for a moment. Doflamingo’s smirk deepened as he approached, his voice laced with cruel amusement. "Princess, I was told you were captured, bound like a helpless little bird. It seems my subordinates were mistaken."

I grinned defiantly, reaching into the waistband of my skirt and pulling out a small momento I’d taken from the thugs. "Maybe you should hire better help next time," I said, tossing it at him. It struck his chest, and he glanced down, his amusement flickering into irritation.

"So, you’ve got some fight in you after all," he said, his tone mockingly impressed. "I thought you’d be running by now."

I held my ground, my fingers tightening around the blades, the faint yellow light beginning to glow again. "I hear you’ve been looking for me," I said, my voice steady. "Well, here I am."

Before he could respond, Luffy’s shout rang out from behind the bars. "Hey, Mingo! You’re gonna pay for what you did to Traffy!"

Doflamingo turned slightly, glancing back at Luffy with a smirk. "Law? That little brat used to work for me," he said, his voice dripping with malice. "Didn’t he tell you? Some ally you’ve got there."

My breath caught at his words, my gaze flickering to Law, who lay battered and barely conscious. But I couldn’t let this rattle me, not now.

Doflamingo’s attention snapped back to me, his grin widening. "Now, where were we? Ah yes... I was just about to capture you."

He moved forward, his fingers twitching as he prepared his strings. But I wasn’t about to let him think he had control. "Doffy," I said, smirking, "your subordinates—at least the one I knocked out—called you that. Funny, I thought you enjoyed the game of cat and mouse. What’s the fun in capturing me so easily?"

Doflamingo chuckled, clearly entertained by my defiance. "A game, is it? Alright, Princess, let’s play." His fingers twitched, strings flickering in the air. "But remember, I always win."

I clenched my blades tighter, the yellow light flaring to life. "We’ll see about that, Doflamingo. Let’s find out who’s really in control here." 

I gritted my teeth, the glow from my blades flaring even brighter. "Kinemon, Zoro, get Traffy out of here!" I barked, my eyes locked on Doflamingo. I lifted my left leg, ready to dash toward him, determined to land a strike.

But just as my blade was about to meet its mark, I felt an immense force slam into my arm, redirecting my attack into the sky. "What the—?" I gasped, trying to react quickly, but the same weight crashed into me again, this time with enough force to send me flying into the Colosseum wall. The impact knocked the breath from my lungs, and blood dripped from the corner of my mouth as I slid down to the ground, stunned by the sudden assault.

"Y/N!" I heard Zoro shout, his voice full of alarm as he turned his attention toward me. The weight of everyone's gaze shifted to where I lay, struggling to get back on my feet, the air thick with tension. "Y/N!" Luffys voice cut through the chaos, a note of alarm piercing through as he turned his gaze toward me. For a brief, tense moment, it felt like time itself had slowed, all eyes converging on my injured form. "Are you alright?" Luffy’s voice, filled with concern, crackled through.

I struggled to rise, my body shaking with pain. "Yeah, Luffy, I’m okay," I managed to reply, though my voice was weak. "But what the hell was that technique?"

As I fought to regain my balance, I saw Zoro and Kinemon charging toward Doflamingo. "Pirate Hunter Zoro and Foxfire Kinemon," Doflamingo drawled, his tone mocking. "I also noticed that Momonosuke is unguarded aboard your ship." Kinemon’s face tightened at Doflamingo's words. "Don’t listen to that bastard! We would never let him take Momo," Zoro shouted, his anger palpable.

But before Zoro could strike, the blind man from before intervened, delivering a powerful blow that pinned him down. "Zoro!" I cried out, my heart sinking as the sight of him struggling to break free filled me with dread.

Doflamingo smirked, his eyes gleaming with malevolent amusement as he shifted his focus to Kinemon. With a swift, unexpected move, Doflamingo struck Kinemon, sending him crashing into the ground. "Kinemon!" I cried out, my voice trembling with urgency and frustration.

I struggled to push myself upright, clutching my sides where pain radiated. My grip on the blade tightened, the yellow light and electrical charge flaring brightly. "Hey, Doflamingo!" I called out, lifting my left leg. "Forget about them. This is our game."

Doflamingo’s attention snapped back to me, a cruel smirk spreading across his face. "Ah, my defiant princess," he drawled. "Your spirit is truly something to behold. Once I capture you, you’ll discover just how much fun I can have with someone as spirited as you."

"That’s what you think!" I retorted, gathering all my strength. I dashed toward him, using the momentum to leap into the air and aim a tremor kick at Doflamingo. But as I extended my right leg, it suddenly stopped in mid-air, restrained by an invisible force.

I gritted my teeth, trying to break free from the unseen grip. "What’s going on?" I shouted, my frustration mounting. Doflamingo’s laughter rang out as he floated up to my level, his presence imposing and taunting.

As I tried to attack with my right hand, still clutching the blade, another invisible force wrapped around my wrist, pulling it back. I struggled against the restraints, my heart pounding in my chest.

Doflamingo floated closer, his face mere inches from mine. His gaze was cold and calculating as he gently grasped my chin, forcing me to look directly at him. "So close, my princess. The power of the String-String Fruit is quite remarkable, wouldn’t you agree?" he taunted, his voice dripping with mockery. "It allows me to control and manipulate anything I desire." Doflamingo’s smirk widened as he stared into my eyes, his malevolent gaze unwavering. Slowly, he moved his hands from my chin, trailing down to my neck. His touch was cold and commanding, the invisible strings still binding me tightly.

"Ah, such fire," he taunted, his fingers tightening around my throat just enough to remind me of his power. "You really are a fascinating specimen, Princess. The way you fight against the inevitable, it’s almost endearing."

He leaned in closer, his breath warm and disturbing against my skin. "You see, my strings can control everything from the smallest details to the most grandiose displays. And right now, you're tangled in my little game. You're not just my captive; you're my plaything."

I glared at him, the struggle evident in my eyes. "I’m not done yet," I said, my voice resolute despite the pain. "I won’t let you win." 

Summoning the last of my strength, I quickly maneuvered my free hand, still clutching the blade. With a swift, decisive motion, I cut through the strong bindings constricting my right hand. The strings fell away, freeing my arm. Without hesitation, I moved to sever the bindings on my right leg, slicing through them with precision. As I fell from the sky, my body propelled downward by gravity, I saw Zoro emerging from the debris, his face filled with determination.

“I got you!” Zoro shouted as he dashed forward, managing to pull me from the perilous height. He caught me in mid-air, his grip firm and reassuring as he guided me safely to the ground.“Thank you, Zoro,” I said, still feeling the tremors of pain as I tried to stand.

Kinemon hurried over, his expression a mix of concern and disbelief. “What’s a navy admiral doing with Doflamingo?” he asked.

My eyes widened in shock. “You mean to tell me that blind man is a navy admiral?” I asked, the revelation hitting me hard.

“Kinemon, is Y/N okay?” Sanji’s voice crackled through the transponder snail, filled with worry.

“Hey Sanji,” I said, trying to stay calm despite the sharp pain. “I’m okay. Sorry for worrying you.”

“Y/N…” Sanji’s voice choked up, filled with worry, but before he could continue, a sharp, searing pain tore through my left shoulder. I cried out, dropping to my knees as the pain overwhelmed me.

“DAMN IT!” I shouted, gritting my teeth, fighting against the agony. I looked down and saw blood trickling from a fresh wound—a bullet had struck me.

Doflamingo’s mocking voice echoed through the chaos. “Ah, look at you, princess. Already on your knees for me,” he sneered, his voice dripping with cruel amusement.

My eyes shifted to where Doflamingo was now holding Law,standing behind the Navy Vice Admiral, a smug grin on his face . “Don’t you dare!” Kinemon shouted, his voice filled with fear and frustration.

I managed to stand, determination burning in my eyes. "If he wants to fight dirty, then fine," I muttered, sheathing my blades. My body still ached, and the sting in my left arm reminded me of the situation’s urgency. Turning towards Zoro, I locked eyes with him. "There’s been a slight change of plans," I said quietly, still clutching my injured arm.

Zoro's brows furrowed. "What change of plans?" His hand was already on his sword, sensing something wasn’t right.

"I’m going to let Doflamingo capture me here." I leaned in closer so only he could hear. “I didn’t expect the Navy Vice Admiral to be involved, which complicates things. But the original plan stays. Capturing me here will still keep the plan in motion."

"Like hell it will!" Zoro snapped, his voice low but brimming with frustration. His grip on his sword tightened as if ready to strike. "You're not doing this alone."

Before he could make a move, I had already stepped forward, forcing myself into the spotlight. "Trust me, Zoro. We don’t have a choice."

“Doflamingo!” I shouted, trying to keep my voice steady despite the pain. “I thought this was our game of cat and mouse. Are you scared already?”

Doflamingo’s grin widened, his eyes glinting with cruel amusement. “Princess, such bravado. I must admit, I enjoy this side of you. It makes the victory all the more satisfying.”

As Doflamingo held Law like a puppet, I clenched my left hand, activating the power of my ring. I leaped into the air, raising my right leg, ready to deliver a powerful tremor kick. But just as I was about to strike, the navy admiral used his power to halt my attack mid-air. I was slammed back to the ground, crashing heavily into the dirt.

“Y/N!” Zoro yelled, his voice full of desperation. “Hold on! I’m coming!”

I struggled to rise. The air around me grew heavy, and invisible strings began to wrap around my body, lifting me off the ground. Doflamingo’s laughter echoed around us, cold and mocking.

“Wake up, Sir Law! Lady Y/N, are you alright?” Kinemon shouted, his voice filled with panic.

“Are you kidding me!” Zoro shouted in frustration, his voice crackling with anger and fear.

Doflamingo’s voice carried a sinister edge as he spoke to Fujitora. “Let’s take this conversation back to the palace. There’s much to discuss, and I’m eager to see how this little game ends.”

As Doflamingo’s strings tightened around me, I came face to face with him once more. His grip was unyielding, the pressure making it hard to breathe. I met his gaze, and despite the pain, a smirk formed on my lips. “Phase 1 of the plan is complete,” I thought to myself as the world around me started to darken.

As I began to slip in and out of consciousness, the smirk on my face remained, a silent declaration of our progress.

Zoro, visibly frustrated, prepared to make another move. But before he could act, the navy forces readied their weapons, their presence creating an impenetrable barrier. Doflamingo’s laughter filled the air, mocking and cold. “Look at that,” he said, his voice dripping with malice. “It seems your friends are in quite the predicament, princess.”

I fought against the strings, trying to regain some control, but it was futile. Doflamingo stepped closer, his face twisted into a sinister grin. “I’m going to savor this. I plan to enjoy every moment of it.”

As I was lifted away, the last thing I heard was Kinemon’s determined voice cutting through the chaos. “Both Sir Law and Lady Y/N have been seized.” The words lingered in my mind as consciousness began to slip away, leaving me with a mix of defiance and resignation.

[chameleon66]

Love’s Illusion

Warnings: Angst, implied autistic Gus, past bullying, Bria (let me know if I need to add anything else)

Author’s note: So funny story, I was planning to post this a few days ago but when I went back to edit this my computer completely crashed and it took days for the repair shop to get it back up and running so yeah it’s been a while since I have written a Fanfiction but I hope to upload more of these more often. With all of that said happy reading and happy Gustholomule week.

Matt was getting worried, he hadn’t heard from Gus since yesterday when they accidently ran into Bria at the bonesburrow market place and Bria had a lot to say to Gus and none of it was very nice.

Guess she wasn’t over what happened in the illusionist’s graveyard. Gus was so obviously hurt by what she had said, so much so that Gus choked back whatever words that had died on his tongue and said that he had forgotten he had to help his dad with something.

Gus then summoned Emmeline and flew off in the direction of his house. Matt was furious at Bria, she had no business being here reopening old scars. As angry Matt was he swallowed his rage and just turned his back on her.

On his way home Matt texted Gus, asking if he was ok but never got an answer, so an hour later he texted him again this time telling Gus to not think about what Bria said and that she wasn’t worth losing sleep over. Matt still got no answer.

The next day he still hadn’t gotten a reply back and Matt couldn’t stop himself, he went over to Gus’s house but when he knocked on the door he got no answer.

After waiting another minute he decided to go around the house and look for another way in. Matt moved to the side of the house and cast a spell circle raising a platform to the window that if Matt remembered correctly was Gus’s bedroom window.

Matt peered through the glass to see Gus’s bedroom dimly lit, the only sources of light seemed to be the window and a crystal ball on the floor, and next to the crystal ball was a gloomy looking Gus laying on his back staring up at the ceiling.

Has he been like this since he got home? Matt asked himself.

Matt knocked on the window which seemed to snap Gus back to the real world as he sat up and looked around his room before his eyes landed on the window with his boyfriend on the other side of the glass.

Gus stiffened in his shoulders before he climbed on to his bed to the window and opened it for Matt.

“You could have just used the front door.” Gus smiled but Matt could tell it was forced.

“I tried knocking but you never answered.” Matt answered climbing through the window onto Gus’s bed beside him.

Matt’s boyfriend looked away and scratched the back of his head awkwardly, “Oh sorry about that.” Matt could see Gus’s mind was somewhere else as he wouldn’t look in his boyfriend’s direction and he was laying on the floor when Matt first saw him which he did when he was feeling overwhelmed or stressed out.

“No need to say sorry you dork.” Matt joked trying to lighten the mood, Gus looked back at him and tried to smile though it still looked very forced.

“Are you okay, Gus?”

Gus sighed leaning his back against the wall and drawing his knees up to his chest, another thing Matt knew he did when he was experiencing a negative emotion. Matt paused trying to find the right words to say, then formulating them into a sentence.

“Look, Bria has always been a jerk and she’s not worth getting upset over.” Matt shuffled closer to Gus. Gus looked down at his bedsheets, wrapping his arms around himself.

“That’s not why I am upset.” Gus uttered in a monotone tone that didn’t feel right in Gus’s voice.

“Why?” Matt pressed, he felt like the answer was staring him dead in the face but the construction witch just couldn’t put his finger on it.

“I guess I’m just kinda mad at myself.” Gus rubbed his eyes from under his glasses, probably trying to keep his tears from flowing.

Now it was Matt’s turn to choke on his words, How did Gus come to the conclusion to be mad at himself? Especially when Bria was the one who said all those things to him.

“Why at yourself?” Matt asked, trying to keep the millions of questions in his head.

Gus looked at his Boyfriend with guilt plaguing his midnight sky eyes. “Everyone says I’m really smart but then why do I act so dumb?”

Matt remained silent waiting for Gus to continue while also pre thinking of what to say to comfort Gus when he finished speaking.

“I get tricked by everyone and I always get upset over stupid things.” Gus buried his face in his hands as if he was trying to hide from what he thought was the truth.

“I just let myself get tricked and used all the time, Bria has just been one of many people who tricked me and for some stupid reason I just can’t see it.”

Matt felt his mouth get very dry, he figured that he wasn’t the only one to have tricked Gus but he never knew the details of it all.

“I’m nearly sixteen for titian’s sake, so why do I still act like a child?”

Gus threw his head back against the wall hitting it, the vibrations causing one of Gus’s framed pictures to come loose, fall and hit Gus on the head.

“Ouch!” Gus cried holding his head.

Matt began to reach a hand towards the illusionist only for Gus’s head to shoot up and open his eyes which were glowing blinding bright blue. Matt pried his eyes away from his boyfriend to see the room being consumed in the same blue glow.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, not again.” Gus’s words were sharp and his voice sounded scared. Suddenly the room shifted to the illusionist graveyard but everything was tinted blue.

Matt squinted his eyes as a silhouette came into focus and then took the form of Bria who wore a sarcastic smile on her face that just made Matt want to punch her lights out.

“Aw, is the little baby gonna cry?” Bria or illusion Bria teasingly cooed. “You know, I’ve always wondered how someone so smart could ever be so stupid.”

Gus curled tighter into a ball, shutting his eyes so tightly the skin around his eyes began to wrinkle.

“This is why you’re so useful Gus, you’re so desperate to make friends, you can be a tool.” Bria cackled, placing her hands on her hips.

Gus began to shake his head back and forth and gritting his teeth, “Shut up, just shut up!” Gus buried his head in his arms trying to tune out Bria’s voice.

Matt was trying to process the things he was hearing, Gus had truly been holding in a lot and it seemed that now was when Matt needed to help his boyfriend.

Slowly Matt placed a hand on Gus’s shoulder, Gus looked back at him, eyes still glowing with his brows knit down.

“Gus..” Matt started but paused. He was never good with emotions especially other people’s, what if he just messed up and made things worse?

No, Matt didn’t have time to think about that. This wasn’t about him, it was about Gus. Who really needed a hug and some comforting words as soon as possible.

So Matt figuratively manned up and began speaking again.

“Gus, can you try to take some deep breaths please?” Matt asked, silently praying he wouldn’t mess anything up.

Gus’s breathing kept hitching as he exhaled while he was still clearly trying to hold himself together, Matt directed Gus’s attention to him as Matt began taking deep breaths with Gus’s beginning to follow his example of breathing.

“That’s it Gus, you’re doing good.” Matt reassured.

After a minute of deep breathing and encouraging words from Matt the illusion around them began to fade and suddenly they were back in Gus’s bedroom with no trace of the graveyard of Bria in sight.

Gus wore a somber look on his face as if he just spent all of his energy on his feelings.

“Sorry about that-.”

“No.” Matt interrupted, “Don’t apologize, it wasn’t your fault.” Matt gave Gus’s shoulder a soft squeeze.

“Why can’t I learn though?” Gus asked, still not looking in Matt’s direction.

“I always get tricked and yet I’m always still called the smart kid, so why can’t I just be smart for once?” Gus’s words felt like ice water that made your skin feel all prickly and Matt knew he needed to bring some warmth to Gus.

Matt Grabbed both of Gus’s hands and rubbed his thumb over the knuckles urging Gus to slowly look up at Matt’s sympathetic eyes.

“Gus, you are the smartest witch I have ever known.” Matt saw the doubtful expression on Gus’s face so he kept going. “And I’m not just saying that, you are always eager to learn something new and you always notice the small details that you apply to help anyone who needs it.”

Matt saw Gus’s ear perk up which encouraged Matt to continue speaking.

“Sure you may be a bit Gullible but that’s like the best part about you, you always find it somewhere in your heart to forgive people and give them a second chance to prove themselves and you still continue forward even when you are scared, so long story short.”

“Too late.” Gus joked which made Matt chuckle.

“The point is, Nobody's perfect but that’s ok because I still like what’s flawed about you.” Matt explained.

Gus smiled, a true smile that made Matt's heart jump a little. “Thank you Matty.” Gus thanked warmly.

“Don’t mention it.” Matt beamed then placed a kiss on Gus’s nose.

“Do you feel better?” Matt asked.

“A little bit.” Gus answered with his smile faltering a bit.

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Just stay?” Gus shyly requested. “Of course.” Matt pulled Gus into his arms, laying them both down on the bed and letting Gus lay down beside him and then wrap his arms around him while Matt kissed the back of his neck softly.

“I love you, Gus.”

“I love you too Matty.”

[mozart-the-meerkitten]

You know what, I need to calm myself down so have another funny? interesting? ATLA/Wingfeather Saga crossover idea.

Okay, stay with me here. I legitimately think that after the end of their respective series that Kalmar and Azula could be friends.

Something something child who was had too much pressure put on them and broke, made bad decisions, was seen as a monster, feared by everyone, fought in a war, younger sibling, missed childhood...

I just feel like Kalmar, the boy who had such insane compassion for the cloven and Fangs, who had to sit in a cell all night listening to a mad Fang in the Hollows and later carried her out of the dungeon, who befriended a cloven who he thought was there to kill him, who watched his uncle suffer with madness...

Idk man I just feel like Kal would understand her. And do his very best to be her friend. He would not be phased at all by her threats or her trying to attack him. I mean, the child was in the Blackwood and attacked by his own broken people who had forgotten who they were. Azula tries to threaten him and he just shrugs and offers her a berry bun.

He'd also absolutely give her an outlet for ~chaos~, like can you imagine if he helped her to the point that she wasn't trying to kill people anymore but was still chaotic? They'd get up to SO MANY shenanigans. Janner and Zuko can't figure out why they keep getting pranked so effectively and they finally figure out their younger siblings have rallied against them.

Also, just, "Oh, your mom thought you were a monster? Do you want to share my mom? She convinced the Hollowsfolk to let me stay with them by pledging her life for mine, so that if I broke the rules she'd be punished with me, even if it meant they killed her." *small voice* "....yes." (Nia would absolutely accept another suffering child are you kidding me)

Janner, watching Kal and Azula run through Castle Rysen committing crimes shenanigans: I quit. Zuko: *just glad his sister's found a friend and isn't trying to murder anyone anymore* at least they're having fun.

edited to add: Janner: WHY ARE YOU SHOOTING FIRE AT MY LITTLE BROTHER Azula: *looking at Kalmar* training. Kal: definitely not because I bet that she couldn't shoot a glipfruit off my head. Azula: we need to work on your lying. Janner: NO

Idk man, I just feel like they'd get along so well. Kalmar at the end of the series has the depth to both care about and want to help someone like Azula. He'd have so much compassion for her it's making me lose my mind a little. And I think Azula would appreciate having someone willing to listen to her side of things and not judge her, but acknowledge her struggles and what she went through and not treat her as any less. Someone who isn't afraid of her, even a little bit. Someone who, somehow, genuinely understands.

[pricechecktranslations]

去り人達のワルツ：悪ノ大罪 SEKAI Edition　-Album-

Waltz of the Deceased: The Deadly Sins of Evil, SEKAI Edition album booklet content

Opening

Format...

.

At the death of the sinful world, the people's souls decided to leave this land behind.

Once they passed through the enormous gate, they would lose all of their memories in exchange for a new life.

"The memories of those who are reborn will be reformatted"

That was a rule of this world.

.

If...

.

What if, for example, the Daughter of Evil hadn't been a princess?

What if it had been her burdened with a curse, instead of her father?

All people had possibilities like that.

The Evil Food Eater resolved to set out on a new journey to learn them all.

.

But she still didn't yet know.

That her soul, just like her body, wasn't something that would last forever.

.

Repeat...

.

If only I could do it over again.

Someone, no, everyone has thought that at least once.

She couldn't just give up on this world.

If she could just return back to the outset, maybe it would turn out better this time.

With those thoughts in her mind, perhaps the Sleep Princess loved this world more than anyone.

.

Each time she repeated, it would scrape away at her soul,

Guiding her to yet further madness.

.

End...

.

Punishment was handed down.

And so in that case, accepting that punishment was in itself another answer.

"Are you not going?"

At the tailor's question, the mud king laughed and replied:

"Kids tend to dislike having their parents looking in on their room."

The judge listening in next to him nodded in understanding, and returned a smile.

.

We are all free.

No matter what world we choose.

There is no distinction between good and evil there.

.

But we can be sure that we lived here on this land.

Even if we forget about it, that fact can never be erased.

.

For those who will set out on their journey.

Before they lose their memories.

Let's throw them a final dinner party at least.

.

Come, let's dance

This Waltz of the Deceased.

.

[Blurb after Waltz of the Deceased and before Rilia-renee]

He heard tell that he'd had an impostor,

Who had shown up and just gone around doing whatever he liked.

.

The great merchant was a bit sullen on finding this out,

And so his beloved daughter, eager to cheer him up, had made this suggestion:

.

"Have you thought about holding an entertainment banquet?"

.

Certainly, that was one of the great merchants' specialties.

Yes, perhaps this place...could use a song.

He would need someone to sing to set the stage for a ball.

.

The great merchant reached out to his favorite diva,

But she quietly shook her head.

.

"I've already finished my final song. You should ask someone else."

.

But could there possibly be another diva better than her out there?

After asking around, the great merchant finally arrived at a certain girl.

.

He'd heard that she'd been a diva of great renown in the Republic of Lucifenia,

Around the beginning of Evillious' sixth century.

.

A little doubtful, the great merchant spoke up to this girl

Whose appearance was far plainer than rumor would suggest.

.

"Do you think you could sing a little for me?"

.

A few seconds after hearing her voice as she timidly broke into song,

The great merchant decided to hire her for the job.

[Blurb after Rilia-renee and before Outlaw and Marionette]

This world still had several problems left in it to worry about,

And those had needed to be addressed before the banquet.

.

There were those who tried to continue fighting after they had died.

They were the living dead who wandered the wasteland.

Thanks to the actions of those who had worked under the mud king's orders,

This saw a decisive resolution.

But at the same time, it revealed a new cause for concern.

.

The king made of mud called out to the witch who had once been his subordinate.

Her form had by then completely changed from the one that he knew,

But that particular discussion wasn't what he wanted to ask her about then.

"Just what in the world is this 'Punishment'?"

That was what he asked her.

"...A 'doll'. Just like you and I."

The mud king had been created by a black bird.

The Clockworker's Doll had been created by a red cat.

And the boy of Punishment had been created by...

"The root of all malice"

.

But a doll doesn't necessarily have to move according to the intentions of their creator.

Just as had been the case with the king made of mud and the Clockworker's Doll.

The boy of Punishment had begun to move by his own will...and left this world behind.

"Amostia...That was that boy's name,"

That was what the witch told him, moon-eyed.

"There's nothing we can do about it now.

I have no idea where he or her have gone off to."

.

Would the boy of Punishment bring yet another world to destruction?

Or perhaps...

[jerzwriter]

Starstruck

So I saw something on Instagram today... and it immediately inspired this... I hope you enjoy it.

Book: Open Heart (Post Series)

Pairing: Tobias Carrick x Casey Carrick (F!MC)

Category: Insta Edits/Text Fic/Brief Dialogue

Rating: Teen + (Suggestive, not explicit)

Summary: Tobias is a keynote speaker at a conference in Ashville, NC. Casey decides to join him and make it a quick getaway. While there, Casey is convinced she is seeing starts... Tobias is convinced she's losing her mind. (Celebrity sighting, but they're not getting Homesick...)

A/N: More notes at the end, but this had me flipping out! lol Participating in @choicesjunechallenge - vacation

(Casey is returning to Tobias in their private sauna after a quick trip to the ladies' room)

"There you are! I was about to send out a search party for you."

"Sorry, hun... but I had to do a little snooping."

"Snooping? At the Sauna House?"

"YES! You're never going to believe who is here!"

(Tobias rolls his eyes.) "Last night at dinner, you were certain you saw Harry Styles..."

"That man looked just like Harry Styles! But this time, I'm not wrong!"

"OK. I'll bite. Who did you see, baby?"

"Noah Kahan! Noah Kahan is here! Now, let's wrap up here so I can go meet him!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa... slow down! First, we have another 20 minutes. I'm not rushing anywhere. Second, I'm pretty sure Noah Kahan is NOT here."

"HE IS! I saw him! I know who he is, Tobias! I've been crazy about him since Busyhead...."

"Since what?"

(Casey sighs.) "BUSYHEAD! It's one of his albums, T! He did have music before Stick Season."

"Really? I wouldn't know that, considering you have Sticks Season playing on loop 24/7."

"Interesting conversation, bro, but get dressed. We need to find Noah."

"Wait.. BRO? Casey, your obsession with this man is beginning to concern me."

"Tobias, I'm SERIOUS!"

"YEAH! So am I! Just... come on... humor me?"

"OK, but I'm rubbing this shit in when this is last night's Harry Styles sighting all over again."

(No sighting... they return to finish the infrared room.)

NEXT MORNING:

A/N 2: So I log onto Instagram today, and I see my beloved Katrina Bowden and my beloved Noah Kahan were BOTH at the Sauna House in Ashville today. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT HAPPENING. I know this should mean nothing to a normal person, but y'all know I'm not normal... so I put this together at once. Yep, my girl is a big-time Noah Kahan Girlie (just like her creator! lol)

Thanks for indulging my madness.

Perma: @a-crepusculo @animesuck3r @annoyingmillenialnewbie @crazy-loca-blog @differenttyphoonwerewolf @doriopenheart @fayeswiftie @gryffindordaughterofathena @genevievemd @inlocusmads @jamespotterthefirst @jennieausten @kingliam2019 @liaromancewriter @lucy-268 @onikalover @openheartforeverinmyheart @potionsprefect @quixoticdreamer16 @rookiemartin @secretaryunpaid @socalwriterbee @sophxwithers @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction @choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics @jerzwriterreblogs @alj4890

OH Only: @alwaysmychoices @annfg8 @binny1985 @coffeeheartaddict2 @mysticalgalaxysstuff @ofmischiefandmedicine @peonierose @youlookappropriate

Tobias Only: @icecoffee90 @kyra75

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls Season 2, Episode 15, "Lost And Found", Aka The Bracelet Has Breached Containment, Aka BraceletGate, Aka QuarterOnAStringGate, Part 4

As we round the bend and reach the shitty middle of the shitcircus that is Lost and Found, may I remind you what Dean, Lorelai, and Rory are going to war with Jess for:

I need a Quarter on A String prequel . I need the origins of this quarter and the sheer power it wields over pathetic people like Dean and Lorelai. It is fascinating to ponder. I mean, I know what a quarter looks like, but still, Is there someone with editing skills who can lighten this shot for me so we can have a better look at it? #Please Or maybe the Forresters took a family vacation, intending on leaving their son Dean at some distant gas station, never looking back, but before dumping him he got one of those pressed penny souvenirs they sell at rest stops.

(of course Dean first gave it to Rory outside when it was pitch dark so she would have to be like, oh yeah this is so nice Dean. Because she can't see a damn thing, and maybe in the moonlight it looks kinda pretty, but then when the sun rises Rory's like oh, it's just a fucking quarter. A quarter that now carries a heavy burden as it must be affixed to my wrist at all times or I'll face the wrath of Dean the Butt and My Mom The Butt).

Here we fucking go. Keep in mind Rory only cares so much about the Rest Stop Penny because Dean will be angry that she lost it. That's it. Why Lorelai cares so much about the RSP is a question only wise men can answer.

Jess quietly observing the freak show. I suppose asking for change from a dollar and punching a hole in a coin took a small amount of effort on Dean's part, but "made" is pushing it.

Ancient Technology/Discontinued Snack Food observation break!

Lorelai agreeing out loud that Dean's anger would have consequences for Rory that are too terrifying to contemplate Instead the Gilmore Girls GPS sends Lorelai right past "We Both Readily Agree That Dean's Anger Is Nothing to Mess With" Bouelvard and reroutes her to "it's okay he'll just make you another one" Street. Yes, I'm sure he can have another one made. Next time Clara's girl scout troop meets at his house he can give them a Quarter on a String arts and crafts project. For about the 200th time in just 1 and a half seasons, Rory tells her mother that Dean has an anger problem. Lorelai assures her that Dean will understand. Rory asks Lorelai how she can be so sure. Lorelai responds: "His track record points to him being understanding." A view of Lorelai's brain circuits:

But enough about your sexual fantasies again, Lorelai. I like the part about rendering Dean Forrester blind though.

Please hobble Lorelai GIlmore's knees with the rake. And now, a break down of how this episode and Teach Me Tonight are virtually the same story. -Something happens to Rory that is troublesome (loses her bracelet/ minor car accident) but Rory cares less about what happened to her than Lorelai does. Lorelai immediately dials the minor incident up to 11.

-Luke offers Jess up without his consent to either perform or receive some kind of service from or by one of the Gilmores (gutter slopping, tutoring). Lorelai reacts to these suggestions as if her very life is in danger. -The inatimate object at the center of the war was "made" by Dean (his car and his QOAS). -Dean will get mad at Rory for something happening to her that was no fault of her own -Lorelai becomes absolutely hysterical -Rory is like it's not THAT bad, I'll be fine Mom, maybe you're over reacting just a skosh -Lorelai is like you are not fine, daughter of mine! -The accident and the lost of the QOAS was not due to Jess being malicious or because he just likes to steal Rory's stuff and crash her cars but try telling Lorelai that -33 Year Old Lorelai Gilmore declares war with a teenage boy, has him exiled from town -Jess Mariano contemplates where his life went wrong and quietly wishes he was still living with his negligent alcoholic mother and her parade of abusive boyfriends (oh, right, that actually happens after TMT). We cut to Lorelai at work where she is crawling around on her hands on knees on the dirty motel (I'm sorry, INN) floor looking for Rory's bracelet under her desk. I guess Lorelai is like her own boss, she doesn't have someone above her, like a manager or something to tell her to stop loafing and looking for quarters while on the clock and demote her back to housekeeping duties. She also asked Michel to help her look for the QOAS and he is not amused. Great job Lorelai, making Americans look ridiculous in the eyes of Europeans, like we need any more of that. L: I turned the house upside down! Rory is having a heart attack! It's just awful! Rory having a heart attack:

When I tell you I am physically, literally WHEEZING over Lorelai Gilmore's dramatics. I completely forgot the Jess and Luke Looking for An Apartment b-story at the beginning of this episode. This episode is like slogging through mud so that plot feels like four years ago. Seen below, a Historical Curiosity: The birthplace of the Quarter on a String.

I love when Luke uses casual swear words. A much needed "Ass" in these trying times. This show could use more of them. Ass ass ass ass! Luke goes into one of his famous Nuclear Rants about the cost of apartment living (deposits! pet fees! parking fees! laundry fees!) so I guess Jess isn't going to be getting that seperate bedroom he was desperately hoping for. Whether its a rant about the pitfalls of marriage or shopping malls or rental properties or red meat, Luke Danes has his finger on the pulse of society.

Luke Danes appreciation. God, I appreciate you so much. I mean that in a totally non sexual way. Thank God you exist.

Okay, I forgot about Lorelai and Luke go looking at apartments together in this episode, which I remember to be quite enjoyable and full of delicious tension. Praise the lord, we have filler! I repeat, we have filler!

Lorelai leaves work in the middle of the day to go look at apartments with the local diner owner. In my gritty Gilmore Girls reboot titled The Hollow, the Independence Inn will have been purchased by some major hotel chain and Lorelai would be a victim of the first round of layoffs. We cut to Luke and Lorelai touring an empty apartment, where Lorelai offers to lick Luke's face. The real estate agent mistakes Luke for Lorelai's husband and Lorelai plays along and this whole scene is just....edible.

Luke: Yep, 14 years from now, I'm totally gonna make this crazy bitch my wife and even briefly consider reproducing with her. God, Lorelai is so downright tolerable and at times enjoyable to watch when she's sexually harassing Luke but her interactions with everyone else make me want to claw out my brain matter with my bare hands. But this tension right here??

Lor: What's wrong this place? Luke: It's too big. I don't need two bathrooms. Lor: Yes you do. And you and Jess will kill each other if you stay where you are. I gotta hand it to Lorelai. Because at least she's been advocating for Jess getting his own bedroom and bathroom. We know it won't happen, but the effort has not gone unnoticed. Can't wait for this minor bit of goodwill she's earned with me to be dashed to smithereens in the next few moments. Lor: It's a two year lease. Luke: Yeah, but who knows how long he's going to be here. Lor: Why? Did something happen? Oh, NOW you care about Jess. You're just trying to get in his uncle's pants. Luke: Even if he does stay, it'll only be for another year, and after that he'll go off to college, or Attica prison. Wrong on both counts, Lucas, but YOU go to jail (I think in season 5 or 6?) Still trying to figure out why everyone thinks Jess is a criminal. Although I believe with every beat of my cold black heart that Jess does eventually get his GED and go to college. Luke is sad about the fact that no matter what,Jess is going to leave him in the next few years, leaving Luke back at square one, living alone forever in this new apartment. I think the fact that he can admit, if only subtly and in his very emotionally closed off Luke Danes sort of way, that he would be lonely without Jess is nice. Even if he does think it'll be because he went to prison.

Or some crazy bish who turns her house upside down looking for a QOAS. You're fucked, Lucas. Still haven't arrived at the rotting meat of this episode. To be continued.

[arcplaysgames]

someone asked me a while about about my ideal persona cast using the P3/P4/P5 casts and i didn't answer because this was back when we just got futaba so i didn't know

now I feel I have a bit more of a handle so

The Protagonist: femmeswap Joker. yes i still want to be able to play a girl so fucking bad and i'm mad the game will not let me. i feel like Joker and FeMC would be tight bc they are both fucking weirdos.

The Best Friend Guy: i am agonizing over yosuke vs junpei but I'm gonna say Junpei because I liked having a bro that much. I like Yosuke but only when he's devastatingly closeted and in love with P4MC. I would be friends with Junpei IRL.

The Uncool Girl: I really like Ann but Yukari was great, she was gay as hell, and she had a very interesting arc. I liked how she gave huge "girl friend who secretly dislikes you and is just being nice" vibes but evolved into an extremely sharp plot catalyst who asked smart questions and was super perceptive.

The Polite Girl With A Family Legacy: Makoto was never in the running here, but Yukiko vs Mitsuru is hard. Mitsuru has nonbinary swagger and a motorcycle, but Yukiko is actually really funny and charming...... I'm gonna say Yukiko by a hair.

The Weird Loveable Dude Who I Personally Wanna Date In Each Game: Yusuke vs Kanji vs Akihiko. god, don't make me pick between Akihiko the Autistic Boxer King and Kanji the literal best character in P4. I refuse to pick. Both win.

Yusuke loses because the game forgot he's a loveable weirdo about 20 hours ago and he's just another voice in cutscenes now and i'm sad about it.

The Navigator: oh my god Fuuka vs Futaba is so fucking hard. I wanted to date Fuuka so bad and she's still the most useful of the actual navigators, she's the only one who just gives you a full scan of the enemies when you ask. but Futaba is a fucking delight and her struggle with agoraphobia and social anxiety isn't played up, it's so on point, yeah I'm gonna go Futaba but Fuuka, I still love you!!!!!

Late-Comer Who Doesn't Get Enough Screentime: i don't want to blow any minds but i think i like Haru the most out of these, I'm really loving her Empress arc. Naoto was super interesting up until they joined the party, then the game got scared to do anything with her. nah.

The Guest Party Member: Shinjiro vs Akechi. SIGHS. it's gotta be Akechi unfortunately.

The Mascot Animal: Teddie, no question. Morgana is a close second but I cried about Teddie. hmmmm but morgana is a cat that lives in your school bag......... NO it's teddie! I can't not reward Sam Reigel for the fucking WORK he did!

The Special Edition Character: Marie. Kasumi has suffered soooooo much from feeling tacked onto the story in an extremely sloppy way. With Marie, that... kind of was perfect given who and what she was, it almost aided in the feeling of her as a superfluous vestigial limb of the game that you opt-into caring about. Also her becoming a weather forecaster was hilarious. Kasumi really really needs some fucking edge.

(also, random complaint, Maruki feels MUCH LESS TACKED ON than Kasumi, so i KNOW they could have done a better job integrating her. whatever.)

Velvet Room Attendant: Margaret. I'm sorry, I'm shallow and she's incredibly hot and that line asking the PC to entangle her in his thread of fate was hot. Also the moment she kisses the PC is great. Sorry Liz.

Bad Vibes Bad Guy: Ryoji vs Adachi vs Akechi. This is impossible because all three of them are atrocious in their own ways. Also, I haven't seen Akechi's dismount yet. HOWEVER..... as fun as Akechi shooting Joker was, and it was very fun, I don't think he comes close to P4MC vs Adachi in Yamano's room. The framing, the cinematography, the sudden shock of his Arcana changing, it was phenomenal. JYB absolutely killed that performance. Adachi.

Last Minute Baddie No One Cares About: Izanami vs Shido vs huh p3 doesn't have that huh. I'm gonna say Shido because no I don't care, but at least he's been mildly set up as the baddie where izanami, all you get is Edogawa giving you a four minute lecture on the creation myth of Japan and then you gotta remember that 40 hours later when the fucking gas station attendant turns out to be evil. It's dumb. At least Shido has backstory with Joker.

that was fun! it's interesting to see the reused tropes and pick which i like.

[gaspodewonderdog]

(my internet gets wonky today, not sure if and in what state the previous ask got sent, so here is another, feel free to ignore my ramblings ^^) Tell me more about your BG3 OCs! They seem like such a colorful bunch! What do they think about the tadpole dilemma? Will they keep them? Get rid of them? What was their goal before being kidnapped?

Hello and thank you so much for your ask!! 💜💜 (No, I didn't receive any previous one) It was a lovely surprise to see your message and I'm happy you want to hear more about my characters. Sorry for the lateness of this reply and for the rambling to follow. I'm rubbish at writing my thoughts down and then when I try, it goes on forever. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

EDIT: This got posted by accident instead of saving to drafts, so you've only got Maddie's stuff. Oops! I'll post something about the others at some point.

Maddie

A little ray of sunshine and eldritch energy

Backstory and personality

Maddie had a loving and happy childhood. From a young girl she loved to paint and she dreamed of being a proper artist one day. When she was old enough, she moved to the city to study and train, eventually owning a small studio of her own. She became an admirer of the work of an infamous mad artist, whose surreal style left most people with an unsettled feeling, but whose use of colour and rare and unique pigments fascinated Maddie.

One day Maddie came into the possession of one of the late artist's works and she was eager to study and restore it. Whilst doing so she accidentally touched the mind of an eldritch 'Patron of the Arts': A Great Old One whose ever-present but usually imperceptible influence, inspires artists both great and small. Through these artists' works it subtly shapes the minds of the people in order to steer reality towards its own, unknowable ends.

Overwhelmed with awesome and terrifying dreams, Maddie's former passion for art became a compulsion. Her studio filled up with bizarre sketches and paintings. Attempts to resist this influence went… badly. She lost her reputation, became alienated from her family and very nearly lost herself. What followed was a hard period of acceptance and recovery. Over time, she began to recognise her erratic artwork was an attempt to process these visions in a way her mortal brain can comprehend. Occasionally some understanding is gained, which is how her warlock powers are granted.

Her experiences still haunt her and she mourns the life she had and the person she used to be, but she is healing and has reached a point where she is broadly able to manage the unwanted side effects of the connection to her patron. She retains an optimistic personality in spite of everything and adventuring has given her a reason to embrace this other side of herself. And being able to Eldritch blast a minotaur halfway across the underdark is pretty damn cool!!

Maddie is bold and curious (perhaps to a fault). She is thrilled by new experiences and tends to take weirdness in her stride, finding beauty and joy in unlikely places. She will usually go out of her way to help others. Her friendly and generous personality does have some limits – she has little patience for petty arguments and hates bullies. It would be unwise to threaten her or her friends or family (and her new companions are family whether they like it or not) as she can be fiercely protective. Those she doesn't consider worthy of persuasion may find themselves face to face (or at least naval to face) with her defiant intimidation, only to discover that their first instinct towards laughter is curbed by an uncanny desire for self-preservation.

Tadpole situation

Maddie's initial reaction was panic. One of her biggest fears is losing her mind and sense of self and hurting people she cares about because of this; she already came scarily close to doing both when first encountering her patron. Later, when it becomes clear that ceremorphosis is not proceeding as expected she becomes more relaxed about it. She's already used to her mind not being entirely her own and she's survived that so far. It's tempting. Her patron nearly sent her mad, but she owes her survival so far to her warlock abilities, so maybe the tadpole powers could be useful too. She'd admit (in private) that Astarion's ideas about controlling the tadpole are intriguing to her. They could also help alleviate the worst aspects of her patron's influence. On the other hand, there's too much still unknown and she's all too well aware of the risk of losing control and getting into a battle of wills she can't hope to win.

With regard to using the tadpole to influence others, she respects the privacy of her companions and won't use the tadpole to pry into their secrets. She has used the tadpole the Absolute's followers. (In EA) after the dreams, Maddie is more inclined towards resisting the tadpole because of the effect it is having on her companions. It is clear that their tadpoles are connected and she doesn't feel she has the right to risk her friends without their consent.

(Basically I don't know which way this is going to go yet and a long will depend on how the tadpole stuff is implemented in the full game. I like that she is someone who could be swayed in either direction and I think the mind stuff thematically complements a Great Old One Patron. But she's nice and I don't want anything bad to happen to her 😭)

Goals

Prior to being kidnapped Maddie had no great ambitions beyond trying to rebuild her life back. The most important thing she longed for was to regain the trust of her brother and reconnect with her family. After surviving the nautiloid, however she has been bitten by the adventuring bug and if she survives would like to explore the world more, now that she has skills to look after herself.

[villainship]

[Writing WIP Questionnaire]

Reflecting on my drafts folder w/ the previously-skipped section of the questions I was answering here.

If you read this: . . .don’t look @ me. LOL. (Exposing my secrets -- and also hiding from them.)

-

Sum up one or more of your wips!

Most aren’t for tumblr-posting, mind u. But:

(Divided up by which character has narration rights)

-a Vette story I keep forgetting abt, where she is trying to figure out TD’s post-binge fate on Nar Shaddaa, having decided she’s actually invested in this weird Sith’s wellbeing.

-Quinn experiencing TD’s response to betrayal (TD: “I’m not mad, I just want you to acknowledge your life is in /my/ hands. Forever.”)

-like 4 separate WIPs of ‘joint midlife crisis’ Zahied & TD engaging in their unsanctioned fraternizing in early times/getting to know each other -- however eagerly (TD) or reluctantly (Zahied). -Alliance-era, mid-50s Zahied thinks hard abt where he is, tells TD he ready to dump him (probably. Soon. --For real, though. NO relapses. When it’s done it’s /done/, 100%. Swearing off this shit- . . . Yes, he’ll still teach ur damn kids their hand-to-hand fighting.)

-Alliance-era TD, fraught with relationship issues/feelings(???) beyond his comprehension (dumped by his boyfriend; wife still touchy that he is hot for his boss; boss ignoring him b/c 1. she has never considered him significant or attractive 2. she’s busy with the happiness of being reunited with her bug husband), takes a team (incl. his Apprentice) to Hoth for a mission, where they lose contact with home base & can’t send an update to confirm they’re still alive. --He thinks that’s fine he didn’t want to hear from anyone there for a While anyway-- (but something else Will go wrong.) -Agent Vensys is assigned as chaperone for traitor-on-probation Sith Lord Liio (going Where? idk) -- which may be AU content, or I might make it canon. . . or I might split off into 2 different versions (one where they potentially makeout a little, & one for sailing the crack ship onward to far-distant horizons that veer OOC for at least 1 of them). Lolll. -(?canon?) Kallir has a nice day. -Kallir runs afoul of a posse of Imperial troops privately harboring anti-Sith sentiments in a garrison on Taris (? question mark). (Visiting pumpkin Agent was witnessed holding hands with a Sith who recently came by) -- I’m evaluating how much violence I’ll include as canon. (Less than I wrote. . . but some. He definitely gets bullied. Punches someone in the throat. Maybe knifes a guy a little bit?? I wrote that scene, but I’m not sure it’ll fit.) -Kallir undergoing an entire ordeal living among space pirates & becoming slightly unhinged. -in AU: Kallir (the Minister of Intelligence), dragged away from the tail end of a formal ball, puts up with Vensys plying his charms at him (again)

-total shipping AU: Kallir, Liio, & Zahied, lonely hearts club, attempt to distract one another from mountains of baggage in the only way that comes to their minds when they recognize everyone else is hot and thirsty. (Fellas. . . you’re a mess. Sorry I’m so into that.)

Which story took the most research?

Well- the extent of research I’m willing to do is stuff like “what’s this place/object look like in SWTOR?”, or “what does the internet say about these star wars aliens?”

Which story has the most lore?

TD going to Hoth to blow up a Star Fortress maybe (regrettably, I don’t know the relevant lore & I’ve been incapable of doing the gameplay I want to do to get there).

Current word count of all your main wips?

I do Not track those stats. . . I think I know which are the longest, though.

-Part 1 of Liio/Kallir/Zahied AU is. . . 54 pages (for. . .3-4 scenes, essentially. dkfshgkjf). -Part 2 combined WIPs are 15 + 6 + 3 + .2 (a paragraph) (split up due to time-jumping mid-draft, starting a new file, & returning to unfinished business when I feel like it)

Fic that isn’t a total departure from character canon: -Part 1 (of the in-depth edition) of Kallir’s pirate story is a 32 page WIP, w/ an 18-page side chapter (which might not get any longer) -Part 2: 6 pages so far.  -Aftermath follow-up: 7 so far.

How many projects do you have going on right now? Are there any that you doubt you’ll ever finish?

(My answer to question 1 is more-or-less my entire list) It’s hard to say I Won’t finish anything, but also--I don’t often finish writings.

What was you first major project? How far along is it?

And I wouldn’t necessarily call any of them ‘major’ projects (pirate fic got pretty big--but. idk). . .

My first SWTOR fic was for TD & Quinn, and I got lost on it. lol. It’s one of those drafts that feels convoluted to look at (there’s a lot of patchwork pieces), & I’m not sure exactly how much of it is worth having in there or what I actually Want to write into it. (Quinn is hilarious to write, though.)

What are some tropes and character dynamics found in your wips?

. . . gay little scene-slice stories of charged & intimate interactions--aggressive or/and soothing. Just people having their emotional problems in various Situations (sometimes amid danger/stress. . . sometimes when they are trying to enjoy themselves. . . Sometimes those mix).

So. . . tame (generally tame.) psychological whump (mainly psychological.) I Guess. H/C-aligned.

Describe the setting of one or more of your wips

All my stories are in settings of Convenience, and usually defined more by who is there than details of the place itself. (eg. I’m picturing “Kallir gets bullied for having a Sith bf” somewhere on Taris b/c it seems like the kind of place where the military doesn’t get a lot of oversight). Nothing too exciting (or original).

What are some things that inspired your stories? Real events? Maybe a dream?

Game events sometimes, of course. ehehh.

I also have. . . not uncommonly come up w/ concepts for scenarios based on outfits. (Pirate fic arose b/c I previewed the Belsavis zap collar on Kallir. Vensys’ formal outfit was the starting point for that AU fic with the formal event)

What story are you the proudest of? Why?

I dunnoooo-- I have. . . a weird relationship w/ my writings. I don’t have consistent feelings about them (whether I think anything is so good or absolutely Unbearably terrible/cringe changes based on my own moods), and. . . A lot of the time I’m ashamed even making some/most of them for various reasons.

. . .BUT. I was (and still am) pretty proud of how I wrote our charas in the pumpkin-meets-Severine mini-story from a While back (which I just re-blogged cuz of the improvement edits last night). hehe. On fire w/ that one, writing a couple of my favorite personalities--successfully (I’d say) channeling a character that’s not even mine. 

And I don’t feel like I wasted my time if it’s a gift 4 a friend & I’ve been able to make their day with it. <3 We luv our charas. hell yeaaaaaaa

[tsuki-sennin]

The Scheme has entered an InteRmission. The game's not over until the Game Master says it's over, so we find ourselves being turned against one another.

What kinda sick game is being played here? Who will win or lose? How will the fox be hunted?

Only one way to find out~! Join me in the lobby for this special edition of Spoilers, I guess...

Remember! If you don't fight, you don't survive!

-Tsumuri seems quite sick of Giroli's shit. Can't really say I blame her.

-I see there's a number of Glare Troopers. ...I assume that's what we're calling them for now until we get an official name.

-"Fuck you Tsumuri. This is my game, you're just an NPC."

-Geats.

-No intro, huh? Wonder if we'll get something like Ex-Aid where there's a long stretch of episodes where the main theme is just that episode's insert.

-Whoever skins the fox becomes God.

-Keiwa's very mad!

-"Why must Riders fight one another!? I've had enough violence!"

-Keiwa :(

-Oh Neon...

-"I see how it is. I have to kick both your asses to keep my godhood. I don't mind. I'm okay with this. Really."

-Yeah, I know you guys don't.

-PUNKJACK AAAA

-HARERUYA WAKE UP MAN

-If you don't fight, you don't survive!

-Ooooooh, making him mad!

-You dirty bastard!

-The gun has more gun!

-Wiiiiin!

-Punkjack is gone.

-The rain has come.

-Fuck you, man.

-The betrayal on their faces, aaaaagh

-Well, seems like somebody's aiming for Godhood.

-Tsumuri-neesan :)

-She brought snacks :)

-He's very lonely, you see.

-What is the point of the fox man's life?

-Mitsume...

-Nooooooo :(

-Hello, Sara-neesan.

-Well, at least she's got understandable goals.

-Keiwa really b goin through it :pensive:

-Heeeeey, Keiwa... buddy... if you wanna talk,

-Dinner...

-"What's wrong, Neon, sweetie :)"

-Yep, Daddy's paying a lot of money for a bunch of assholes to shoot plant people.

-Keiwaaaaa :(

-Oh, the Glare Troopers just

-Change on a whim, okay

-Hunter-san.

-I swear, every time I see Riders fight each other, as overplayed as it may feel, I go "Noooooooo, you're supposed to be bestieeeees! :(("

-Set.

-Set.

-Time for the duel between the Raising Swords.

-Ready, Fight!

-Bust up that warehouse, fellas.

-Full Charge! Twin Set!

-Jet vs. Cannon!

-Push that big-ass hunk-a metal!

-Oh here comes Giroli, with his haxxor admin privelege!

-Delete!

-Ah, so Glare's magic purple balls are straight up weapons too, okay

-OOOOOOOH KEIWA LET'S GOOOO

-GET FUCKED, GAME MASTER

-Niram! Hello!

-The Game Master has been fired.

-Hell yeah Na-Go!

-Oh, he straight up blew up Hareruya.

-"You're fired, bitch."

-Everybody fought for their dreams, in a game full of people just as skilled and terrifying as they are.

-...Keiwa, I agree with you but like... Da-Paan literally attempted genocide, I don't think you should be remembering him that fondly.

-Fuck you, we're not wasting our chance we're taking it!

-Them :)

-Oh whoops, he still strong!

-Kinda love how like

-Skilled female Riders are as of late.

-I'd kinda prefer if they got flashy upgrades too but the way they manage to keep up with odd but versatile abilities is pretty epic, I'll happily admit.

-Oh!

-Giroli has been fired!

-Very replaceable~!

-Goodbye, Giroli.

-"Good job everybody! I hope you all have a good day~!"

-Cats and tanuki trick people too, fox boy :)

-Now we can trick and fight together with impunity~!

-Priority entry~!

-Kamen Riders, let's go~!

-Archimedel, hello!

-Ohhhhh, that's Michinaga's body!

-DON'T LICK HIM EWW

-OOOOOOOOH ZOMBIE SAVED HIM

-Entertainment~!

-The most popular movie star in the world! A celebrity streamer from a multibajillion dollar conglomerate! Some guy!

-These three are the heroes of the Desire Grand Prix!

-Eyes all over the place!

-Bitches from Helheim to CooKingdom to Ideon to Major Land to Planet Police are all waiting with bated breath! Got to go the next round!

-Mr. Kurama, you're kinda fucked in the head for putting your daughter on the line for a reality show.

-Oooooooh, who that!

-...shit, am I part of the problem?

-Oh fuck, new guys.

-I kinda appreciate the constantly rotating cast of Riders.

-It's a nice balance between showing off lots and lots of forms while still giving us new characters to make fun of. The fact that the Riders all have such simplified designs makes it real easy to keep them all straightened out.

-Divergence Game! Please look forward to it!

-Oh shit, that's Powered Builder. That's from the movie!

-See you all next Sunday or so, DGP watchers!

[m1ckeyb3rry]

Your new song/header text thing (idk what that area is called lowk) was fr actually just me this past week or two

Pause this is not in our convo but EXCUSE ME KARASU SERIES??? I SEE THAT HEADER GAME TOO HELLO WHAF IS THAT I need to hear the inspiration behind that idea….

Omfg it’s not even near Halloween anymore ok but puss in boots Karasu would be so hot….losing my mind reading this is making me realize how long it’s been wtf glad you didn’t get piled with work on halloweekend though!! I guess on the flip side this means 2-3 weeks away from winter hibernation era LOL

Been so long I barely remember what happened in the episode but now that I think yes I do mad we didn’t get a full day before the match interaction compilation BUT ANALYST KARASU LOOKED SOOOOO GOOD barousagi rivalry on top though they’re dynamic is so much more uhh what’s the word enriching…? That’s not the one I was looking for but growth promoting I can’t find the synonym I need right now wait speaking of the itoshi brother beef being one sided is actually insane I’m ngl it makes rin seem so pathetic LMFAOOOO

LMAAOA it feels like it’s been a millennia since I’ve seen the acronym oaeu forced tumblr cleanse was not on my bucket list but omg that’s right can’t wait to see wingman chigiri too!!

LMAOA our chemical reaction actually cannot be topped Isagi get out of the way we’re the new egoists here (this lowk sounds kinda cringe but whatever)

OK BUT AT LEAST YOU FINISHED PI!! Like you let the quality work marinate and stew and then you cooked by finishing it ofc no hate to writers who cliffhanger stories because I’m sure they don’t mean to and things happen but you came back stronger than ever fr

But FRRRR the tags are always filled with those short blurb mass character things that we talked about ykw is actually hilarious though I was about to be like wait there’s some for nagi and peregrine came to mind and I was like lmao wait you wrote that nvm Kaiser and sae dominating the tags actually my villain origin story I still can’t believe people like sae that much considering we also don’t really see him THAT much like

The name inheritance has such aura omg wait the nature vs nurture idea for the fic is so cool though like having that as an underlying theme goes hard…also if Tullia got with Karasu id end up swerving still lowk but anyways current pursuit with Nagi >>>>>

FRRRR ITS ABOUT TO BE SIX KINDA SOON TOO?? Actually insane can’t imagine the past several months without our convos!!! LMAO THE VELOCITY EDIT COMPARISON so true though id rather have less things but with more substance

Ok merging into a mega post because I don’t want to scroll all the way again oops

Spontaneous late night hangouts are the best that’s where all the good convos happen LMAOO

Sadly have yet to locate the ds I definitely did not throw it but lowk might be buried within storage somewhere from my last big cleanup session so maybe that’s a winter clean out activity…

LAMAOAO ME the last resort option fr when there was nothing left honestly the concept of the platform was pretty good though it just got ruined by the recent paywalls/premium etc and then well. The people. LMAO

OMG YEAH wait i remember i read part of it but got distracted by pursuit and oaeu and bfb im pretty certain i got to the part where she runs across the ocean?? Definitely got past the point where her whole ct is explained and whatnot though that’s actually such a cool concept though another Mira big brain idea

Your brain is actually too big I fear wait also the whole innuendo of them wanting to fight each other for them being in love is actually genius like I need more words for the word genius I also love the way you did it so like eloquently in a way that it doesn’t feel weird or awkward too??? Like also considering (iirc) neither of us are really into the freaky (imagine this in the really bold real italic goofy ass font) side of things I think this was executed so well honestly maybe a writing side hustle is something you should consider LOL

Oaeu so canon at this point it’s hilarious we need an oaeu moment in additional time fr also YEAH USGHS I CANT believe they skipped over that and so many scenes generally no wonder I was like this third selection arc felt REALLY short yeah now we know why UGHHH CHIPMUNK KARASU YOU WILL MEVER BE FORGOTTEN

Wait speaking of your recent nagi drawing with that meme LMAO SO TRUE he also looks so cute i love his hair in your style but yeahhhh given how dubs also sound really stiff generally i figured the southern accent dubs weren’t much better….lmao……

Shidou Karasu dynamic so true I totally forgot to mention in pwc they have some interactions too and Shidous always like “Karasu chan!!” he really thinks Karasu is his bestie so I guess we know why they teamed up within PxG???

APSHDISS YEAH ok maybe it’s a specific demographic subsection of blue lock fans but yeahhh ok wait also the recent ep also did him even dirtier LMFAOA if ykwim that one panel/scene where his face is kinda fucked up SHSHSHSH

NOOO UGH where are the karasus and yukis of society surely fiction has to be based on some truth…right…..

I literally pull out that argument everytime I talk to a Kaiser fan (which granted is very very occasional) but literally like he got psychology books to read to learn to manipulate people wtaf….Kaiser fans have no rights slandering other favs like you like THE opp BFFR

TABIEITA EDIT MY LOVES also omg I remember when this song had a chokehold on everyone it’s giving me flashbacks

Also IVE SEEN THAT ARTIST BEFORE KARASU HAIR DOWN PSLSLSLSLSL SHIDOU COME SAVE US

Ok now more general catch up I guess LOL HOWVE YOU BEEN???? Hope your midterms all went well!!!

- Karasu anon

HELPPP LMAOAOA not me syncing up w you subconsciously…black out days (by phantogram) was fr the soundtrack of my 2021 fall life i listened to it sooo much i heard it the other day and was like forcibly thrown back to that period of my life KSDJHF i felt like it fit with the theme though…because like the background is black…so it’s like black out days…haha…also it’s just like an aesthetic title (?? i think that’s the official name for that particular bit of text ?? no idea though) and i didn’t feel like digging for another song so this is what it is for this theme HAHA

ISN’T THE HEADER FIREEEEE UGHHHHHH sighing dreamily i think that’s one of the prettiest headers i’ve made like ever…so visually pleasing…so thematically appropriate (not that crows really have anything to do with the story but yk. karasu) KSJHFS okay so ngl it’s the header for my vague thoughts about repurposing my megumi royal au (which i already took down jic) where he’s the royal guard but for karasu LMAOO i know we discussed yukimiya for it hence my post about karasu or yukimiya but a) i will always pick karasu and b) look at these lines from the very first version of the royal au (technically the version i took down was the second version because i attempted a rewrite but the first version is what people remember most fondly) and tell me megumi doesn’t give HEAVY karasu vibes in them…like he actually feels more like karasu than himself KSJDHFHK (also these are in no particular order in terms of chronology LMAOO i just took random screenshots…there’s way more karasu-esque moments but image limit + trying to give you less to read so i picked a few highlights that show why karasu is actually lowkey the perf option) unfortunately royal aus are hard for me to stay motivated for so i was like “okay i’ll be responsible and not do this to myself” however i AM rewatching reign rn (kind of…one episode a week pace sadly) so that might get me in the headspace to work on it?? idk

PUSS IN BOOTS KARASU SIGHHHH ugh he’s so handsome in literally everything but yeah him with the hat and the sword and everything LKDFJHW omg i need him…YES WE ARE APPROACHING THE END OF THE FALL SLUMP (hopefully) i am literally counting down the days i miss being motivated i literally haven’t posted any writing since the kaiser request i wrote a MONTH ago it’s disgusting

KARASU LOOKED SO GOOD LAST EP they’ve really been putting in the WORK to make him gorgeous they know what we the people want fr and we love them for it!! HELP i know what you mean the barousagi rivalry helps them grow and learn and whatnot ngl i don’t remember what the right word would be there either but it’s fine i got the concept FHKJSDLHK and yeah omg the itoshi bros continue to be unserious like i can definitely see why rin would be hurt in the moment because sae was admittedly very brutal but also like that’s the first time they’ve ever fought?? idk obviously you can’t expect a lot of emotional maturity out of kids but you’d think he’d at least think to himself “wow i wonder why my visibly unhealthy and traumatized looking brother is saying mean things to me after being alone in a foreign country for months” if not at that moment than at least later on since he’s constantly reflecting on that moment??? like again i acknowledge that sae was saying some CRAZY stuff and jokes aside i wouldn’t be THAT mean to my younger brother but at the same time rin had like 0 empathy for sae when he got back and my interpretation of sae in that moment is that rin basically kept poking at an obviously sore spot until sae snapped if that makes sense 🧐 but also blue lock insults are generally insane so idek if what sae was saying was actually that insane but anyways rin hanging onto it for years upon years and deciding he needs to crush and destroy sae is like next level hilarious to me BROOO it was not that deep ok but ngl this might be smth like how i don’t gaf abt the whole nagireo break up thing like i’ve said before the angst in bllk is just nonexistent to me except very select cases (cough snuffy cough) so i’m just like ok whatever about all of it

OAEUUU HELP I HAVEN’T THOUGHT ABT IT IN SO LONG i miss them…seeing aiku and niko on screen but never togehter is making my oaeu stan heart hurt #aikuniko(platonic)forever no because i always liked niko but oaeu has made me love him sm which is great because he’s really getting some moments in s2 and now i can rlly appreciate them

omg let’s replace all of the core four OPPS while we’re at it…no more itoshi bros + isagi + kaiser the only chemical reaction egoists we need are us two!!

LMAOAOA I DID FINISH!! i think part of it too was just me realizing i needed to give up on gege and accept that i had to come up with my own ending because honestly i finished around when shinjuku started becoming that weird repetitive cycle of fights and that gave me the courage to stop waiting for him to give me a satisfying ending and just become canon divergent…i can’t write a story if i don’t know the end beforehand which is why part 1 of pi was super quick for me — the “end” was planned in terms of the end of vol0 and her bringing yuta back to life!! but then i didn’t know where part 2 and everything with tullia that i set up was going to go until i had the vision of her dying to kill sukuna (also fun fact the way the title connects at the end with the blood like pomegranates was not in fact foreshadowed it just came to me as i was writing the epilogue…i don’t even remember where i got the idea for the title for atp but it was well before i even had the idea for the blood pact and all of that LMAOAO pi was one of those stories that genuinely wrote itself and came together perfectly as i went which made me seem like a foreshadowing genius but in fact it was just happy coincidence)

PLS omg i forget i wrote peregrine too sometimes so dw…i saw a screenshot on my camera roll of my peregrine era and i felt so nostalgic omg things were simpler back then i had like 300 followers or smth when i started it 😭 but yeah nagi really doesn’t have as much as you’d expect tbh!! and since this is such a long ask that likely no one will read i’ll admit that i think most people write him super ooc 😓 i can only stand MY version of nagi no one else has gotten that right balance of nagi vibes that make me like him in the first place so i end up lowkey annoyed because either he’s acting like an infant, a jackass, or a player and he really just is neither of those things…my complex is that i’m convinced no one understands my favs like i do but ESPECIALLY nagi like i think karasu is pretty well characterized for the most part?? people will make him more outgoing and flirty than i’d like but there’s some canon basis for it so i won’t complain but NAGIIII UGH nobody knows or loves him the way i know and love him #real #canon

INHERITANCE KINDA EATS RIGHT?? it gives a bit more horror movie vibes though (i think there’s actually a horror movie called inheritance maybe that’s why) but yeah tullia with karasu would’ve made me emo like wdym she gets my perfect handsome amazing man as a bf and i get shrek ninja 😭💔 okay wait speaking of tullia i was on tik tok earlier and i saw an edit of some anime idek the name but it’s like something something yamada level 9999 idfk (edit: my love story with yamada-lun at lv999…okay i was lowkey close) anyways i was like RIN AND TULLIA??????? it kinda opened my third eye because wait…not in pursuit but in another story why could i lowkey see it…

I MISS EDITS BEING MAJESTIC luckily i think people are starting to really put their souls into editing again which is really exciting OMG YES IT ALMOST IS SIX MONTHS THAT’S CRAZY we have had our ups and downs (aka grass touching and chronically online moments) in turn but truly there is no one i would yap more with and i do always miss you when one of us must vanish from the tumblr-verse briefly HAHA

SDKLJFHSD I’M SORRY THIS IS A VERY LONG RESPONSE TO YOUR ASK YOU WILL BE SCROLLING AND READING FOR SO LONG consider it like all of my thoughts for the past while that you were gone or smth idk I’M SORRY IN ADVANCE LMAOAO I’LL TRY NOT TO RAMBLE AS MUCH (we all know that’s like never happening though i am nothing if not a rambler)

i think my ds is in my armoire somewhere i’d have to look too HKSJFH but yes late night hangouts >>>

yeahhh ads and paywalls and monetization and whatnot really were the death of wattpad as well as the audience it inadvertently attracted 😩 being on wp is def a core memory but i will never go back (although i do miss the nice comments i used to get but it’s not worth it tbh)

I LOVE H / H READER’S TECHNIQUE i mean yk how it is in the miraverse with bird symbolism…h / h reader and karasu need to do a bird theme character meetup or smth (wait side note idk if you saw but apparently kaiser’s is supposed to be based on a tropical bird BRO STFU he doesn’t deserve the bird theme designation!!) HAHA but also YESSS THAT’S LIKE MY FAVORITE THING like the words i love you are never said in that story but it’s so so obvious because every single time they’re like “i want to kill you” “i want you to kill me” yeah…they’re obsessed!! and yeah you’re right i don’t really like writing smut or reading it that much nothing against people who do it’s just not my preferred genre!! but i LOVE writing metaphors for sex idk if that makes sense but like in hurricanes / hummingbirds with the whole dreams of fighting = sex dreams thing idk something about it feels so much more intimate than just outright saying she dreamt of getting railed especially given the dynamic between the two characters where it’s meant to be more figurative…like am i implying something more here or is she literally just dreaming of actually fighting him?? HAHAH something about writing romance in a non physical way will always do it for me when i was younger (think early high school) i read this random bit of writing advice that if your characters need to kiss to prove to the audience that they’re in love then you failed at writing two characters that are in love with each other and i INTERNALIZED that SKLFJHS like look at h / h there are 0 kiss scenes but they’re so clearly in love?? or even either version of bfb there’s one kiss in karasu’s version and i’m p sure none in otoya’s…same with the first part of fwtkac…and all of cherry tree/the sequel…as well as the kaiser request i just posted…also probably all of my work i just don’t really like writing love physically imo love in metaphors >>>>

actually fun fact i do want to be an author!! maybe some day LMAOOO rn i’m on my fanfic grind though but if i ever write a book or smth i’ll let you know

okay this is so unrelated but angry chipmunk karasu is just making me think and like…tabieitaken + alvin and the chipmunks trio costume LMAOOOOOO yuki is obviously simon otoya is theodore (because green) and ig karasu is alvin?? actually i think i’ve seen a fan art on here of karasu shidou and tokimitsu as alvin and the chipmunks with shidou as alvin karasu as simon and toki as theodore but i like the tabieitaken version better because idrc abt tokimitsu (although admittedly karasu in glasses is a beautiful sight)

HAHAHA OMG MY SILLY NAGI SKETCH one of my mutuals had posted one of yuta and was like “i encourage everyone to make shitty drawings of their favs” and i was like wait now i have to do one of nagi LMAOAOA also the way you phrased “your style” is cracking me up fsr it sounds like i’m an official fanartist with an actual style and shit…nagi’s hair is kinda annoying to draw ngl but it’s also fun at the same time?? he’s so silly i love him sm (if you couldn’t tell by now)

LMAOO I KNEW ITTTT shidou and karasu are real to ME and also IN CANON no because idk if you saw my post about them but i am so convinced that shidou thinks they are THE bestie duo of all time meanwhile karasu is like ugh this freak again but he secretly thinks shidou is kinda funny so he’s just like wtvr and lets the guy hang around with him 😭 rn i’m being overwhelmed by this intense love for nagi and rin as a duo actually like it’s genuinely driving me insane how perfectly they go together and NOBODY recognizes that somehow??? like first of all look at their visuals they’re literally gorgeous in a very opposite way but also let’s talk about how rin is very emotional whereas nagi is very detached. how rin exclusively likes horror and nagi likes lighthearted children’s cartoons and dramas and romcoms. rin who seems like he’ll be mean but is nice in his own rude little way and nagi who looks like a sweetheart but consistently says the most foul things with his expression like 🙂. rin who is SO LOVED by his family (specifically sae because we don’t know much abt his parents) but is furious over his perceived abandonment and nagi who was ACTUALLY abandoned but doesn’t even care and thinks it’s normal and that his parents do treat him well. the dark slimy destroyer aura that rin has and the shimmery mystical light death aura that nagi has. the way rin is called a monster and nagi is called a god. how rin is associated with saliva and blood and nagi is associated with bones and graves. how rin wants to be a genius and is always trying to live up to someone else’s expectations and how nagi never wanted to be a genius and is actively trying to escape everyone’s expectations. LKSDFHSLDKF JBSDLFKHBLDKJF LIKE SHUT UPPPPP WHY WOULD I CARE ABOUT NAGIREO AND RINSAGI WHEN THE MOST INSANE PARALLELS ARE STARING ME IN THE FACE???? not that i ship them or anything yk i don’t ship but I NEED a nagi + rin duo or something in the future or else i’m going to have to start another nagi series and make tullia end up with rin just so i can use it as an excuse to write about this further because i could literally go on about it for many more paragraphs and i see NO posts about it?? anyways this is like my fifth rant in this response omg this is going to take you so long to read i’m sorry 😩

bro idk what the animation team is cooking with aiku but honestly idrc about him so i’m happy LMAOOO like they’re doing karasu JUSTICE yukimiya JUSTICE barou JUSTICE nagi KIND OF JUSTICE (he looks better in the manga at this point but he’s also not had his best moments yet so i think we’ll be good also they’re making him rlly cute in the additional times so i can forgive the occasionally weird proportions)

WE WILL FIND THE IRL KARASUS AND YUKIS SOON #TRUST they definitely exist but (at least in my case) they’re not exactly the type of people you meet while wandering the streets at 2am on halloween ykwim 😭

okay but honestly i wouldn’t even mind them liking kaiser because okay go off problematic fav it’s whatever i liked mahito at one point so i get it but they are ALWAYS the ones with the weirdest most ridiculous morality police-type takes it’s CRAZY like bro your own favorite character would probably hate you!! also he is literally the epitome of everything you claim to hate in a character who doesn’t even have those characteristics?? like i can only speak to the nagi hate i see because i don’t really see karasu or barou hate (everyone loves them because they’re perfect) and idrc if people slander characters who aren’t my favs (otoya does get slander but it’s lowkey deserved and yuki gets slander from dude bros but they’re kinda right sometimes so i can’t be too mad like yeah yuki DID kinda fall off in the nel 😭) but it’s ALWAYS the kaiser fans having the most insane out of pocket literally incorrect takes and being proud of them and then being like “yeah kaiser is my fav” MICHAEL KAISER???? YOU HATE NAGI FOR BEING “MANIPULATIVE” AND SAE FOR BEING “UNEMOTIONAL” AND YOUR BLOG THEME IS MICHAEL KAISER??? actually idc abt sae slander that’s #funny but it’s the principle yk…enemy of my enemy is friend and whatnot…anyways it’s rough being a nagi stan nowadays sometimes it feels like i’m the only one 😩 i predict he’ll have a brief resurgence in fans depending on how well his goal is animated but it’ll be forgotten within like a week or two because then rin will score and THEN shidou will come on field and everyone will be talking about sae and shidou leaving nagi to only be relevant in my heart 💔

I WILL KEEP THIS SHORT GIVEN HOW MUCH I’VE BEEN CHATTING buttttt i’ve been pretty good!! just relaxing mostly HAHA my midterms went well thankfully!! i was sick when i took them and hardly studied but still slayed #nagicore now i have like a week and a half until thanksgiving break and then another week or two before my long ass winter break so i will be even more chronically online than i already am after the first week or two of december is over!! that’s about when i locked in with pi last year so maybe something will have a comeback or i’ll start something new or something who knows…hmm i feel like that’s about everything i’ve been up to OH actually i did drive to meet with one of my tumblr mutuals irl because they only live like an hour away from me?? that was fun we hung out for a bit and went out for food together it was kinda funny to meet them irl…we had been insta mutuals for a while as well so it wasn’t like we didn’t know each other whatsoever like they knew my govt name and what i looked like and vice versa before i pulled up so it wasn’t like a jump scare or anything but it was still like omg…you’re a real person…LMAOOOO but yeah other than that i’ve been spending my free time sleeping, occasionally watching tv or reading a book, and trying to write but failing miserably 😓 what about you??? besides the obvious tumblr struggles 😭

[saltyunordinaryprincess]

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NSFW 🔞 must be discussed ahead of time and both parties must both consent. I am 100% ok with any graphic details being moved to DM or fading to black/behind closed doors.

I like to talk to new partners before just jumping into threads first. Nothing complicated, just to make sure we as muns can vibe. Because if we can’t vibe in casual conversation its going to make roleplaying more complicated. I want us to be able to talk if something comes up we are uncomfortable with, or if we have an idea we want to share. We don’t need to be besties, but I want us to be able to communicate.

Literacy is important, but mistakes do happen. I promise to do my best to proof read and edit all my posts before I click submit if you do the same. But then again, this is all for fun. I’m not looking to win a Pulitzer here.

I am non-exclusive, and do not mind working with multiples of the same character and will do my best to keep the stories separate (again, my tagging is complicated).

I do my best to match my partner length or length in replies. But at the same time, I prefer quality over quantity. We can always discuss expectations in reply lengths ahead of time if you would like (para, chat-style, short and sweet, etc) I used to do creative writing as a hobby in college so I tend to get carried away with details and descriptions. Feel free to poke me to tone it down if my replies become more outrageous and more fan fiction less roleplay.

I do not mind having more then one thread with the same character and/or partner. As long as we can both keep up, the more the merrier. Thus the reason I try to keep up with my own complicated tagging system.

If a thread starts from an ask (meme or prompt), if it gets involved and lengthy, I will most likely move it to it’s own post with a title to just remove the original ask post but I will link back to it, just allows shrinking easier.

Life happens, if I don’t reply to a thread in like 3 days, please feel free to DM me. There is a good chance I either missed the notification, totally forgot Tumblr existed and got lost in a side hobby (neurodivergent), or completely forgot to mention I was going away for a few days. I won’t be mad if you remind me. And if you wish, I will give you the same curtesy. 

If you are not one of the involved parties, please do not just jump into the roleplay without reaching out first to one of the involved parties. All my threads are CLOSED unless otherwise stated. Threads that are open to the public will be very clearly marked as [open to others].

On that same note, if you are not in the roleplay, please do not reblog any of the threads. You can like ❤️ and you can freely send us positive DMs as comments, but please do not reblog. It bogs down notifications and causes confusion in an already confusing and chaotic system.

Please do not ghost me. If you are no longer interested in roleplaying with me, please just send a quick DM. If you are going away on a sabbatical from Tumblr for an unknown time, family vacation, change in work/school schedule or you just don’t want to roleplay anymore, I beseech you to please just send a quick DM. I will not make a fuss. Ghosting hurts and makes me panic and worry about your wellbeing. Dead air in the middle of a planned plot is just heartbreaking with no explanation.

Once again, on a similar note, if we are in the middle of a thread and you just are no longer vibing with it and lose interest in that particular one, or you want to take a break from it and start another, same applies. Just DM me. I rather stop a thread and start a new one then force someone to bs their way unhappily and have the quality go down because they are just not feeling it.

Have fun!  This is a hobby. A game. A form of therapy. Stress release. Self care. Self expression. This is not homework, a career, an obligation. We’re all here to have fun. So let’s have some fun!

Updated 6/21/2024

[astralis-is-typing]

Ok this is well over a thousand words of me simply losing my shit over this chapter dghfhjd. Such a masterpiece from my wife (real). I’ve been promising you this rb for WEEKS and I’m finally done editing my thoughts into (barely) cohesive sentences. Enjoyyy❤❤

Content warning: I am shamelessly and irretrievably obsessed with this story so mind how feral I am. The author (my wife) already knows but this is just a warning for anyone listening in vhfgdhsbxf

The way I have waited for this chapter pls… 21k??? So much to unpack and I’m ready (mostly)

If I don’t make it out alive bro tell Jeongin I love him

The thing that’s haunting me the most is the blood lock thing. I’ve been fixated on that ever since they found out that was the only way to get into Miroh. Like you know how the romance distracts me bahah, but today I’m FOCUSED fr✊

They best get to district one alive pls I hope no one dies

-

“Flooding back as you became aware of the strong arms wrapped tightly around your body, the warm breath grazing against the back of your neck.” Hdhdjskckmsmchddf

“In another world, far away from the one you had always known, you might have turned around his embrace” PLS PLS PLSSSS GO AHEAD!! NOTHING IS STOPPING YOU

(okay that’s not entirely true)

(Getting side tracked here… can I just do what I said and stop being a hoe for rebel felix? Can we do that Jules? Just for one chapter istg)

“Stopped by an insistent force holding you back, preventing you from moving even an inch further. You glanced down at the determined hand clasped around your wrist. Firm, but gentle all the same.

Silver rings against calloused fingers.”

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL RN

-

The whole scene where they’re planning on which is the best route just got my heart racing. The urgency is TANGIBLE. Especially when Felix came in and erased the line she’d drawn, because I guess that’s where his demons lie and he doesn’t want to expose the rest of them to such danger.

Also, The scene with Minho, followed by hanging outside with Changbin is so well written. I can SEE it

-

“You’d made a promise, after all.

Don’t let me love you.”

This is so DEEP??

“Because you had been able to protect Felix last night, but you wouldn't be able to save any of them from the impending threat hurdling toward you now.

In less than a second, the world around you descended into chaos.”

I CANNOT GO ONNNNNNNNNN??????

I CANNOT DO THIS???? NO NO NO

“Just as his fingers brushed against yours, a bullet whizzed between the two of you, forcing him to stumble back.”

I’M SO UNSTABLE RIGHT NOW WHAT

I’M ACTUALLY PANICKING HELP ME

I need a min to remind myself this is just fiction.

-

“Felix!” You called out, strained voice breaking in desperation as the fear of losing him tore at your soul once again. His head whipped around at the sound of your voice. With a final look in your direction, his eyes conveyed unspoken reassurance, a silent plea to trust him, and a promise that you couldn’t fully understand in that moment.”

I’M SO UNWELL I CANT I CANNOT I CANNOT I SIMPLY CANNOT I DON’T WANT TO READ IDK IDK SEND HELP

I'M ACTUALLY SO SCARED RN

“And it's probably a good thing you weren't in his position, because you never would have been able to leave the freckled boy with the stars in his eyes behind. Not when it meant leaving a part of yourself, behind too.”

ALEX PLS STOP THIS MADNESS IM CRYING THIS IS SO OVERWHELMING! Ok but now they definitely know she’s in love with him.

-

YEONJUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!

CHOI YEONJUN IN OTDE? MY STAYMOA HEART IS FJJDNVNVMD

-

“you avoided the woman's gaze when you told her that your name was Jisoo.” Watch this woman be Jisoo’s mom are something 👀

“Because as Hira walked you through the lower level, hushed whispers and soft murmurs floated through the air, accompanied by occasional gasps of pleasure.” HELLAUR??? ARE THEY FR IN A BROTHEL RN💀💀💀💀💀

Desperate times call for desperate measures I guess🤷

“…meeting the eyes of individuals in various states of undress whose beauty was contrasted by the sadness in their eyes.” THIS IS SO BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN

SHUT UP THIS IS ART

THIS IS SO WELL WRITTEN??? WHAT THE ACTUAL DUCK

GOODBYE!!! Buddy this!!! thissss?!!!

-

“For the same reason you had chosen to sit by him the first night around the fire, something about Seungmin's presence made you worry just a little less.” Vocalracha stans are really being fed with this chapter sjcjvkfkfnvnms. Like this and the Jeongin focus earlier has me😻😻

I love otde Seungmin btw he’s my favourite. Like, even over Felix (well, almost).

-

“As if your feet were shackled to the ground by invisible chains that warned of the danger that came with exposing the extent of your feelings to everyone in the room.” WHY ARE YOU SUCH A GREAT WRITER WHAT THE HELL BUDDY

PLS PLS!!

“I was just...doing what needed to be done.” He answered, voice husky and low, eyes dark and inviting.”

I want to SCREAM. I always say this but the mc is sooo much stronger than me I’d have let him give me backshots against the table right then and there idc.

Like I actually do not care anymore. Sanity? Who’s she?

“He really did. It’s just that he’d narrowly missed about 17 bullets today…”

FAVOURITE LINE IN THE WHOLE CHAPTER SAVE ME PLS PLS PLSSS I LOVE THIS IT ADDS SO MUCH DESPERATION AND A FUCK IT MENTALITY UGHHH

This is so funny fhvj jjdjcbvnf

-

I AM ON LIFE SUPPORT AFTER THAT SMUT SCENE I CANNOT KEEP LIVING LIKE THIS

And then you have the AUDACITY to be like "oh I can't write smut" like gurl what do you even mean?!😂

-

Alex you are so good at naming chapters omg like the last few lines so accurately relate to the title it’s insaneee.

Also what’s going on with Hyunjin and Felix lmao. Are all these focuses on them spoilers oooh? The part where you talk about Hyunjin getting onto the bike behind him… I found that interesting. The way you took note of their proximity. Because I assume all the rebels are close and have been physically close as well multiple times. Y’all there’s a REASON behind this focus and I’m dying to know.

To end this rant, I just want to say you totally KILKED this!! The plot has so many twists and turns and the way you pace them is mind blowing. It seems I survived another episode dhfhdgd can't wait for the next chapter!! (Even though I'm definitely won't be ready🤒)

off the deep end. (05)

~(part 5) the weight of the world~

pairing: rebel!felix x reader (f)

genre: non-idol au, post-apocalypse/dystopian au. wc: 21.1k (i have no explanation for this, pls forgive me)

series rating: 18+ **minors do not interact**

chapter warnings: violent mature themes, mentions of murder/death, choking (sexual and not sexual), explicit sexual content (consensual, unprotected sex, oral sex (m receiving), fingering), breeding kink if you squint, oppressive government, fighting, weaponry (gunfire, knife use), injury, blood, language, angst!!!, please lmk if i missed any!!

a/n: thank you all so much for your continued support, i have been absolutely blown away by the kindness and interest you guys have shown for my little story :) it truly means the world to me and as always any feedback, likes, and reblogs are more appreciated than you know. i hope you enjoy.♡♡

~series masterlist~

"because time is a merciless force, far more precious than anything tangible in this world. no matter who you are, no matter where you come from, it always runs out. no matter what you do once it is gone, you will never be able to win it back."

“Don’t let me love you.”

Had he really said that?

Had he really dared to speak it into existence? 

Felix squeezed his eyes shut so tightly he saw stars behind them. Stars that reminded him of the night sky, just hours before, with your bodies intertwined on the rooftop underneath it. The steady rhythm of your breathing against his forearm as you slept. And he couldn't lie, the temptation to fall asleep next to you, to let the weariness overtake him was more than strong. Not to mention the fact that Felix was certain it might just be the best night’s sleep he would ever get. But he couldn't afford to fall asleep last night, because he knew what would happen if he didn’t wake up in time. 

And yet, Felix didn’t necessarily mind the need to stay awake. Because instead of being kept up by disturbing memories and his own tormenting thoughts that surrounded them, as was the case on most nights, he'd had something else to anchor him to consciousness last night.

You. 

Felix spent hours underneath the moonlight lightly brushing the hair from your face whenever the breeze blew it back. He traced over the faint bruises on your skin, bruises left by his fingertips, a stark contradiction to your angelic appearance. 

You may not have been an angel in the eyes of the gods above, considering that the things the two of you had done together tonight were far from pure, but you certainly were to him. In that moment, you were an angel to Felix who was everything opposite of what it meant to be one.

You were his angel. 

Another gust of wind caused you to shift even closer, seeking refuge in the warmth of his chest, and suddenly Felix was thankful that he had always been warm blooded. He pulled his jacket over you when he noticed the goosebumps decorated across your skin. The wind pushed your hair back once again, and his eyes fell to the deep purple mark on your neck. 

Another trace of his cursed touch, burned into your skin.

Stupid.

Stupid how badly he wanted them all to see it. Not just the seven boys downstairs, no, the entirety of all nine districts. He wanted them all to witness the traces he had left on your body. A selfish, dangerous desire that threatened to consume him whole.

If it were up to him, Felix would've spent the rest of eternity in last night. But time had never been a friend to Felix, and he was all too familiar with the fleeting nature of happiness. So when the morning light broke through his half-lidded eyes, he furrowed his brows. Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to slip from your arms. A soft whine escaped your lips, and he wondered if you would think he had left by choice when you woke to find him missing. He wondered if it would make you regret last night. 

Maybe it would be better if you did.

Felix unwraveled your bodies, carefully lowering your head back down against the blanket. He stood and collected your clothing, folding it and placing it into a neat pile beside your head. And then, after one final glance, his eyes lingering a little longer than they should have on your sleeping form underneath his jacket, he turned to leave. 

Because a promise made to the devil can’t be broken.

And the devil waits for no one. 

And when Felix returned from hell to find you standing inside the entrance of Yellow Wood next to Chan and Minho, he knew he wasn’t making it out of this unscathed. He knew he was done for when he felt his heartbeat quicken at the mere sight of you with his jacket in your hand and his mark on your neck, left exposed by your hair that probably still had his scent in it.

Don’t let me love you. 

Perhaps his words hadn’t really been meant for you at all. Perhaps they had been a desperate plea to some higher power above that he’d never even been given the chance to believe in. 

Perhaps they had been meant for himself, instead. A final request before he crossed a line he was never meant to cross. Before he made choices intertwined with consequences that he couldn’t even begin to understand.

After he watched you disappear with Chan through the front doors, Felix stumbled back down the staircase, making himself comfortable with his back to the railing. The rooftop had since been occupied by Jisung, Jeongin, and Seungmin, and in all honesty he didn’t really feel like talking (or smoking whatever their chosen substance might have been today). Although he couldn’t fault them for it, considering what you were about to get yourselves into. Ever since the nine of you had returned together from the palace, there had been a shift in the atmosphere. Something unspoken between every single one of you. Fear, maybe. Apprehension, sure. That and the gut feeling that something permanent was coming. And he couldn’t blame the others for wanting to make the most out of every fleeting moment of normalcy they had left. 

He certainly had. Last night, with you.

You weren’t his first, but part of him wished you had been because he'd had no idea it was supposed to feel like that. After last night, Felix was positive that he hadn’t been your first either, and he certainly knew better than to think he would be your last. Although he did like to entertain the idea of you belonging solely to him. Even if only for the remainder of your time together.

Fuck, what was wrong with him?

He crashed his head back against the railing, letting out a frustrated groan that echoed throughout the empty space. 

The time passed slowly as he waited for you to return with Chan. Somewhere in between messy thoughts that blurred the lines between reality and desire, between the way Felix wanted you and the way he knew he was never meant to have you, he drifted off into a light sleep. Slumped against the staircase, it must have been several hours before he was abruptly awakened by a shout that rang in through the open windows. 

Had it come from the backyard? 

And was it Chan’s voice? 

His eyes snapped open, his ears perked up, and he stood immediately, locking eyes with Hyunjin who rushed in from somewhere on the main floor. The two made eye contact only briefly before Chan’s muffled voice rang out once more. Felix was all too familiar with the tone it carried. He dreaded that tone, and he knew Hyunjin did too. 

Without exchanging a single word, the two crashed through the front doors. Hyunjin was faster, not by much, but enough to pull ahead of Felix and make it around the corner a few seconds earlier. And it was only when Hyunjin stopped and took a step to the side that Felix saw the reason for the distress in Chan's voice. 

His entire body went rigid. His heart stopped beating. His lungs refused to grant him another breath, and he failed to see anything other than the figure pressed to the ground in front of him. And Felix couldn't move a muscle, but he could feel you there. He wanted to look for you, to pull you in and shield you from the man at his feet. He wanted it more than anything but he just couldn’t bring his body to move. As if his muscles had been paralyzed by something far more wicked than fear, because he knew why the man had followed him here. After all, their meeting earlier hadn’t exactly gone as planned. And if he was being honest, Felix had known for a while that this was coming. 

Or at least, he should have known. He should have known better than to let his guard down, even for a second. For fucks sake he should have known better. Its just that he'd thought, he’d hoped, that if the group left for Miroh soon then it wouldn’t matter. Because by the time the man came for him, the nine of you would be long gone.

But time had never been a friend to Felix. 

As his mind raced with worry and regret, Felix was suddenly ripped from his trance when, out of the corner of his eye, he registered you standing in front of him. Before he knew it your hand was against his cheek. Your touch was tender, the skin of your palm impossibly soft, unlike his own calloused hands. A stark reminder of the differences in the lives you had lived. 

You whispered something to him, a single word, and it didn’t even matter that he couldn’t register what it was. Because just as if you had thrown him a lifeline, Felix was freed from the restraints of fear. Finally able to move again, he wasted no time in shifting his gaze down to meet your own.

But it only made things worse. 

Catastrophically. Worse.

Because when Felix met your eyes he was forced to confront the fact that it wasn’t his own life he was afraid for. He could handle the thought of himself being destined for some kind of horrible fate. He’d come to terms with it years ago, long before he had ever met any of the others.

But not you.

The thought of you being dragged into the same poisonous web that he was caught in filled him with a dread so profound it was as if a physical weight was pressing on his chest.

So he decided in that moment that he would sacrifice himself a thousand times over to keep you safe. The world could destroy him, the man at your feet could drag him back to hell, but Felix would not let the devil lay his hands on you.

And so, after the argument with Chan and Minho regarding whether or not to let the man live, an argument that he couldn’t have cared less about because he’d already made up his mind, Felix knew exactly what he had to do. With every once of determination left in his body, he forced his legs to take him outside. To the backyard, where he told Jisung that he had been instructed to keep watch next. And of course Jisung believed him, because he would have no reason to suspect that the stranger tied to the tree wasn’t really a “stranger” to Felix after all. 

As soon as Jisung disappeared around the corner, Felix crouched down. He assumed the most threatening expression he could manage, devoid of anything but pure venomous hatred, which was more than easy to do. He steadied himself, steadied his breathing so that his voice wouldn't come out shaky. 

And then, Felix proposed a deal with the devil. 

He would set the man free. Untie the ropes that bound him, toss the gun aside, and go back with him willingly. 

And the man was more than eager to accept his proposal, however, what Felix hadn’t realized is that he had come to Yellow Wood without any intent to bring Felix back alive. 

And so after the gun was cast into the woods, and the ropes were untied, within seconds his hands had found their way to Felix’s throat. They clamped down with a merciless grip, forcing Felix to come face-to-face with another crucial decision. 

Even if he somehow managed to break free from the man's grasp, which seemed increasingly less likely with every passing second as his vision began to fade and he lost feeling in his fingertips, Felix knew that it wouldn't matter. Because if he lived tonight, then the man would be back tomorrow, and the next day, and every day after. He would bring the rest of the ghosts from Felix's past and they would never stop looking for him. Which meant that they would never stop looking for you. And for Chan, and Hyunjin, and the rest of the boys. Such a small handful of lives, and yet they were the only thing that mattered at all to Felix in this world. Seven, no eight precious, precious lives that he cherished far more than his own.

And so he slowly loosened his grip around the hands at his throat, granting them permission to press further into his windpipe. Because if Felix gave the man what he wanted tonight, then he would have no reason to return. He would have no reason to come after you, or to learn the truth about who you really were and what you really meant to Felix. And you, and Chan, and the others would have one less obstacle to face. You would be free to save the world just as Felix knew you could, and you certainly didn’t need him to do it.

And as his consciousness wavered, Felix was certain that it must have been due to oxygen loss when his eyes lulled open and he saw you standing over him, outlined by silver moonlight. If angels really did exist, then surely he had been right to think that you were one. Sent to take him somewhere far away that he could finally rest his tired eyes and numb his mind.

It was only after the cool air flooded back into his lungs and he regained consciousness that Felix realized the vision of you standing before him hadn’t been a figment of his imagination or a heavenly apparition at all. That it really was you, in the flesh. Tangible and real. Vulnerable and terrified. 

With a bloody knife in one of your hands, and his beating heart in the other. 

“So let me get this straight. You’re saying that he just freed himself?” Chan's voice overflowed with skepticism as he stared at Felix with a narrow, unwavering gaze.

Shadows cast by the setting sun had overtaken the world once again, including the forest to your back that had lost all of its earlier charm. You stood shielded behind Felix while he attempted to explain to Chan and the others why there was a dead body at your feet. 

“Bullshit. I tied those knots so tightly he couldn’t even move," Changbin interjected, crossing his arms where he stood next to Chan. 

And you remained silent, despite the fact that you had your own doubts about Felix’s explanation of the events leading up to the man’s escape. Even if you hadn’t witnessed anything prior to walking in on the stranger with his hands around his neck, his life hanging on by a thread, you knew he was lying. The way his eyebrow twitched slightly when he spoke, how he hadn't looked up from his feet since the others had joined you outside. And Changbin was right, the man wouldn’t have been able to slip out of the knots he'd tied. The mere suggestion that he had freed himself sounded quite ridiculous, actually, and the very thought caused your anger to return at full force. 

Because why the hell would Felix have released him willingly?

“Does it even matter how he got out? He’s dead. He deserved it anyway,” Minho huffed, stepping up beside Chan. 

“That’s not the point," Chan shook his head in frustration, "if we go around killing people, no matter who they are or what they deserve, then we aren’t any better than those in power now.”

Those in power now.

As in your father, casting his own shadow on the conversation. A constant reminder that, whether you wanted to acknowledge it or not, he was still a part of your life. And he always would be. His presence would persist, his ghost would follow you wherever you went, until he was removed from this world for good. Permanently.

Chan sighed, low and heavy, in an obvious attempt to control his anger.

“Fine, Felix. Let's say that he did somehow manage to free himself, although I hope you realize how absurd that sounds-” 

It does. He knows.

"It still doesn’t explain how he ended up like that.”

He gestured to the body that lie motionless on the ground, and you braced yourself, preparing to face the moment you had been dreading. The fragile trust that you'd begun to build with some of the boys—Chan, Jisung, Seungmin, maybe even Jeongin too—was about to blow to pieces. Your actions would expose the darker side of yourself that you longed to bury, the part that mirrored the ruthless monster that had brought you into this world. Even if you had acted to protect Felix, it didn’t erase the fact that you’d taken a man’s life when you could have chosen to injure him instead. Not that they would have known that, but a stab to the back so deep that it went all the way through to the chest didn’t exactly come across as self defense.

Your heart pounded in your ears, your palms became sweaty, and you could hardly stand the silence as their eyes bore into you, looking through you. So you went to take a step around Felix. You opened your mouth but before you could gather the courage to confess, the freckled boy intercepted your movement, blocking your path.

“What do you think happened?" He spoke firmly, matter-of-factly, with a hint of irritation laced in between words, "He came after us.” 

All eyes suddenly fell to Felix and you closed your own, waiting for him to continue. To seal your fate by exposing to them what you had done. But to your surprise, that moment never came. 

“He came after us, so I killed him."

I killed him. 

I.

His sudden revelation caught you off guard, and because you were actually physically stunned, it took several moments for you to conceal the astonishment that had fallen across your face. When you turned to look at him he remained stoic, resolute, as he avoided your inquiring eyes.

Why would he take the fall?

Maybe it was best to let him. 

Chan observed the exchange between you and Felix, he studied it, before landing his eyes on you. A lump formed in your throat and you swallowed hard, searching for the strength to meet his eyes. With a slight nod, you confirmed Felix’s lie. Chan didn’t know you like he knew Felix, which meant he couldn’t read you as well. And you hated how easy it had always been for you to lie. Just another trait inherited from your father, another reminder of the darkness that flowed within your veins.

Chan turned around slowly to face the others, and you couldn’t help but feel a small pang of regret at your decision to allow Felix to take the blame. You didn’t want to lie to any of them, especially not Chan, but in that moment you were more than thankful for the temporary escape from the consequences of your actions. Whatever they may have been.

“We need to get rid of the body before morning. In case any of them come back,” Chan spoke with authority as he addressed the group. 

Minho and Changbin came forward immediately, and you took a few steps out of their way. As they reached down to lift the body, Chan instructed Hyunjin to find something they could use to dig. 

“Everyone else get inside. We leave tomorrow for Miroh. We’ll load the supplies in the morning, so just get some rest. Pack your things, and bring it all….in case..." He trailed off because there was no need to finish the sentence. His unspoken words hung heavy in the air. 

In case we don’t make it back.

With solemn expressions, the group dispersed, footsteps muffled by the earth beneath their feet. Jeongin trailed behind Seungmin and Jisung as they moved quickly toward the building. Casting one more inquisitive glare between you and Felix, Chan joined Minho and Changbin in carrying the body.

Felix was the first one inside after his hurried footsteps had taken him to the front of the group, and you had a feeling you knew just where he was headed when he hastily climbed the staircase, hands in his pockets. Jisung hesitated a moment, looking back to you as if he wanted to say something before ultimately deciding against it. With a tender glance in your direction, one that made you think he might have wanted you to follow him, he wandered off into the main floor. Jeongin leaned in and whispered something to Seungmin who hushed him as the two followed each other up the staircase. At the top, they walked off in the opposite direction that Felix had taken. 

And there you were, left standing alone with a choice to make. 

Beyond drained at this point, both physically and mentally, you probably could have collapsed right there in the entryway. Or maybe you could claim one of the many empty rooms upstairs. There were certainly enough options to find a secluded place for yourself, and yet, despite how frustrated you were with Felix, despite your anger at him for the events that had unfolded tonight, part of you desperately longed to be by his side. After all, you were the only one that knew just how close he had come to death.

And so the choice became an easy decision.

As you ascended the staircase, you traced the railing with your hand. Every step you took down the hallway, every rung on the ladder you climbed, brought you back to last night. Impossible to ignore the way that you could literally feel yourself there, just twenty four hours before. And it might have been surprising, how much could change in a single day, if the course of your entire life hadn’t been turned upside down over and over again in the span of less than a month.

Grabbing onto the final rung of the ladder, you weren’t even sure if you wanted to find him there on the other side. Its not like you had any desire to talk about what had happened tonight. There was just something indescribable that compelled you to be next to him now, overpowering any hesitation that might have crossed your mind.

After pulling yourself up onto the rooftop, your heart sank when your eyes fell to the shadowy figure with his back turned to you, lying on the harsh ground with his dark hair splayed out against the hoodie that he used as a makeshift pillow. The thin blankets lie untouched next to him, almost making it seem as though he’d left them there on purpose, as if he had been expecting someone to join him. You stared at his back for a moment, picturing the faded scar that lie across his shoulder underneath the thin material of his shirt. 

You weren’t sure if he was asleep at first, and when he stirred you froze, debating on whether or not you had time to leave before he turned around. But he didn’t move any further and after a moment of silence, eyes trained on his steady figure, you took a few tentative steps. As quietly as you could, you crossed the still air over fallen leaves and thick vines that stretched along the rooftop ground. After lowering yourself to sit beside him on the blankets, you glanced down at his profile, illuminated by the moon. Plush lips parted ever so slightly, his features cascaded down into a gentle frown even in his sleep. You hovered a hand over his face before lightly brushing the hair from it. After a moment longer, you decided to stay, settling down on the blankets with your back against his. 

Just a short time ago, you might have allowed yourself to succumb to tears. Tears of frustration, fear, grief. Grief for the version of yourself that you had lost tonight. Frustration at the freckled boy with the stars in his eyes, and the debilitating fear that washed over you when you thought you really were going to lose him. But you had changed so much in such a short span of time. You could feel yourself growing numb to the pull of your emotions as they became easier and easier to ignore. So holding back the tears, you kept your eyes open for as long as you could until exhaustion began to outweigh the images in your mind of a dead body at your feet and your mothers knife, bloody in your hands.

After ten minutes, maybe twenty, maybe an hour, you felt a warm hand snake around your waist, lifting you from your blissful state of semi-consciousness. You remained still and kept your eyes closed because if it was a dream then you would have given anything to stay asleep just a little longer. When the grip around your waist tightened, pulling you into a protective embrace, you were almost certain that it was a dream. Nothing more than a fragment of your imagination as your subconscious longed for some form of comfort.  And just as you began to slip back into the welcoming darkness, you could have sworn that the tone carried by the wind sounded a lot like the voice your ears had come to crave.

“I’m sorry, princess.”

It was the last thing you remembered from that night as you allowed his words to fade into nothing, still questioning if he had really said them at all.

The moon never stayed for very long. 

When you woke the following morning, it was barely morning at all. The faded glow of dawn struggled to find its way through the clouds, casting familiar shades of gray across the sky above. Your eyes fluttered open to momentary disorientation, wondering where you were and why you hadn’t been met with the walls of your bedroom, but it took only seconds for your memory to return. Flooding back as you became aware of the strong arms wrapped tightly around your body, the warm breath grazing against the back of your neck.

In another world, far away from the one you had always known, you might have turned around his embrace. Repositioning yourself to face him, you might have taken the entire morning to memorize every detail of his delicate features. Might have stayed there all day with him on the rooftop, entangled in each other as if you were the only two souls left in existence. 

In another life, you might have leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before drifting back off to sleep beside him. Warm, protected, safe, and entirely at ease. Because you wouldn't have a past to run from or a burden the size of the world on your shoulders. You wouldn't have been reminded of last night when you sat up and made note of the red mark etched across his neck. 

In another life, it wouldn't have been there at all. 

You winced as you turned away, deciding that you needed to get away, before tempting yourself with one more second alone with him like this. And so with a heavy heart, you resisted the urge to crawl back into the embrace that felt a little too much like the home you had never known. 

Shivering slightly when the cool breeze hit your skin, you ran your hands through your hair, ignoring the emptiness in your stomach and the thirst on your tongue. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes, but it wasn't enough to erase the images burned into your memory from last night. You wondered if anything ever would be.

When you put a hand on the ground to push yourself up to stand, you froze. Stopped by an insistent force holding you back, preventing you from moving even an inch further. You glanced down at the determined hand clasped around your wrist. Firm, but gentle all the same. 

Silver rings against calloused fingers. 

You traced the intricate details of the bands with your eyes, considering the offer they represented, but you couldn’t accept. You couldn’t stay, no matter how desperately you wanted to. If you had to sleep next to him every single night for the rest of your time spent together to ensure his safety, then so be it. But you would always make sure to leave in the morning. Because you couldn’t afford to offer him anything more than that. You’d done more than enough damage to the both of you two nights ago by allowing yourself to succumb to such primitive, selfish desires. And it scared you, no no it absolutely terrified you, to feel the way you did last night as you watched the life drain from his eyes.

And so in one harsh movement you withdrew your wrist from his grasp. 

He didn't say anything. Not when you stood. Not when you found the ladder and took hold of the first rung. He didn’t call out for you, and you didn’t look back.

After making it inside, you allowed yourself a moment of solitude as you passed by the rooms that stretched along the hallway. Most were empty, although you did stumble upon Jeongin and Seungmin fast asleep in one. Jeongin seemed to have claimed the entire space for himself as he lay sprawled out with an elbow in Seungmin's face. The sight caused a smile to tug at your lips, almost enough to distract you from the uneasiness that had found a permanent place in your chest.

Almost.

It didn’t take long for you to come to the conclusion that you could have spent forever within the walls of Yellow Wood. Surrounded by the remnants of a past that had long been forgotten, just like the souls who had left them behind. Shelves that stood hardly intact were lined by books, with many of their pages loosely scattered across the ground. You wondered what secrets they held, and as you continued on you wondered what secrets each of the boys had made inside the walls of Yellow Wood. Cherished memories, favorite places to hide, where they went to be alone when it all became too much. 

When you reached the main floor you found your way to the room that you had been locked outside of last night with Hyunjin. Where Minho and Chan had argued about the fate of the intruder..before you solidified the decision for them.

The door was open, and when you entered you found Chan alone inside. He was leaned over a long table in the middle of the room, hands resting on the surface. A number of documents lay scattered in front of him. One particularly large sheet stretched nearly the entire length of the table, curling at the edges. It appeared to be a map, and you made note of your fathers journal where it lay open on top of it amidst the chaos. A small candle that was no longer necessary lie on the surface of the table, nearly burned through.

When you found your place at his side, Chan handed you a small canteen. You gladly took him up on the offer, putting it to your lips and taking a few sizable gulps, and it wasn’t until the lukewarm liquid trickled down your throat that you realized it had been sore. The water tasted stale, at best, and anyone from the palace would have spit it out in an instant. But you liked the taste. It helped to ground you, reminding you where you were and what lie outside the walls that surrounded you now.

“Didn’t sleep?” You turned to face Chan, who had circles so dark underneath his eyes it looked as if it had been a lot longer than just one night since he had gotten any sort of rest. And rightfully so, because while you might have assumed the weight of the world on your shoulders only recently, Chan had been carrying that burden for far longer. 

“Couldn’t,” he responded without looking up from the table, squinting as his eyes remained fixed on the pages strewn about beneath him. You reached a hand out to move some of them around, and he straightened his posture before turning and unraveling something from a cloth at his side.

"This is yours, yeah?"

Your gaze dropped to the knife in his hand as he held it out to you. Your knife, your mother's knife, that you had carried with you for as long as you could remember. The knife that you’d left lying in the grass last night after using it to end a life. You took it from him without a word, tracing your thumb along the intricate floral design carved into the handle. Making note of the dried blood that saturated the blade. 

"Want to tell me the truth about what happened last night?"

Your eyes fell back to the table as you slid the knife into its usual place in your waistband and took your bottom lip in between your teeth. Chan studied your face for a moment before coming to the conclusion that no matter how much he pried, you weren’t going to give him what he wanted. With a sigh, not wanting to push you too far because of the fragile nature of your developing relationship, he brought a hand to his forehead where he pressed a few fingers against his temple.

“Look, y/n I get it. I don’t know what happened and you don’t have to tell me now if you’re not ready. Just remember that if we’re going to have any chance out there then we need to trust each other. Completely.”

Tell that to the others. 

You nodded without looking up from the table and after a moment, he spoke again.

“Recognize this?” He pointed to your father's journal and you nodded for a second time. The map that lie underneath it resembled the map on the wall in your fathers study, although the one in front of you now was far less detailed. 

He must have taken note of the way it caught your attention, brushing some of the papers away to expose it further.

“We’re familiar with the inner districts, but anything beyond is pretty much unknown. We haven't been outside of six in years."

He picked up a loose sheet of paper from the table and looked it over before handing it out to you.

You recognized the words on the page. You had seen them before. Scribbled on the missing pages of your fathers journal, and you could only assume that Chan had been smart enough to jot down the contents before handing them back over to you to return to your father’s study. When you looked up from the page he pointed to a spot near the edge of the map and your eyes followed. 

"Here."

He tapped his finger against it once.

"If this is all correct, then it should be right here..” 

"Miroh." You whispered underneath your breath, and he hummed in agreement beside you. 

"And we are..." He lifted his finger back up and brought it to the opposite side of the map, closest to where you stood. He picked up a short wooden pencil and drew a line loosely connecting the two points, and suddenly you understood why he hadn't slept. 

Because it wasn't going to be an easy journey to get to the supposed location of Miroh from your current position in District 6. It wouldn’t be as simple as turning around and heading behind you. As the districts were arranged in concentric rings, reaching Miroh where it lie at the border between Districts 1 and 2 meant that you would have a choice to make, with several possible paths laid out in front of you. 

"So we either...." you trailed off, tracing the thin line he had drawn over and over again with your eyes. 

“Move straight ahead and cross back through District nine”, he finished your sentence and you swallowed dryly at the mention of your former residence, “or we take a longer route, we stay in six and trace it around until we spit out on the opposite side of nine. And then we head straight back into the outer districts that way. Of course, the biggest problem with taking the longer route is..." 

He took a swig from the canteen, and you took the liberty of finishing his sentence for him this time.

“Fuel."

He gave you a confirming nod. "Fuel. Fuel and supplies..among other things.”

So it was a choice between the lesser of two evils, really. 

Heading back into the heart of District 9, swarming with your father and his guards, meant certain death for every single one of the boys if you got caught. Then again, tracing along the border of District 6 raised concerns regarding fuel, supplies, and prolonged time spent in the unknown. 

Visually displayed out in front of you like this, it all seemed so much further away.

Together, the two of you spent the better part of the morning trying to come up with the best route to take, relying heavily on your knowledge of your fathers favored routes and Chan's experience in the districts. You sat at the edge of the table tracing out the routes that you knew your father and his army frequented. Information you had gained over time from eavesdropping in on important conversations and studying the maps in his office. 

As time passed, the rest of the boys began to trickle in. Minho and Jisung came in first together, followed by Changbin, and before long you were surrounded by seven familiar faces. 

All except for one. 

It quickly became apparent that the amount of fuel you'd managed to obtain from the palace wouldn’t be enough to get you to Miroh and back. Minho expressed concern about whether or not it would even be enough to get you there in the first place, but he didn’t say anything further when Chan reminded him that the best option to save fuel would be to cross straight through the heart of District 9 at the start of your journey. Which you had all collectively agreed was not an option. 

You suggested heading inward, following inside District 7 or 8 instead of 6, but Chan was worried that it would still be too close to your father, and that people there would know your face by now, and he was probably right. Changbin suggested heading into the outer districts from the start, beginning with 5 and so on, but Chan shut down that idea too.

Your apprehension grew with every passing moment as the boys offered each of their opinions. A slight adjustment had to be made when Jisung reminded Chan of the brief encounter where he and Seungmin had come across the supposedly abandoned shack with the liquor stash, and he’d almost “had his dick shot off” by the owner. Chan rolled his eyes as he erased that part of the route. 

“What about this,” you reached for the pencil and he placed it in your palm. You traced a faint line the opposite direction. 

“-Not if you plan on making it alive.”

The pencil slipped from your grasp as your head shot up in the direction of the door. It was a natural response to sound of the voice that had become one of the only constants in your life since finding out the truth about the world. The voice with the bittersweet allure that you both longed to hear and wished you never would have known, as it brought out emotions that you only hoped would remain buried forever. Emotions that rendered you vulnerable, weak.

Felix stood in the doorway, leaned against the frame with black strands of hair cascading down into his face. Jawline sharp, arms crossed, dark eyes heavy set. The room fell silent as tension creeped back into the air. Tension that lingered from last night, as you were fairly certain they all suspected that he hadn’t told the full truth about what had happened. Or perhaps it was tension that lingered between the two of you, after you left him on the rooftop this morning following your breakdown in front of him last night. Either way, his sudden presence only magnified the strain in the air. 

He lifted himself from the frame and stepped out into grey light that filtered in through cracked windows. He took a few purposeful steps and you held your breath momentarily when he passed behind you, lightly brushing against your back. There wasn’t much space at all for him to squeeze in between you and Chan, but he made it work, and you forced your eyes to look anywhere other than his arms as his muscles flexed when he leaned over the table. 

“Anywhere but there,” he emphasized, while you stared at the wall over Jeongin’s shoulder. You watched out of the corner of your eye as Felix erased the line you had just drawn, using the other end of the pencil to create a new one. 

And with that, the path to Miroh was solidified. You would follow District 6 around, avoiding the inner districts at all costs, until you reached the point where it would be a straight shot back to Miroh. 

When Chan folded the map, a sinking feeling settled in the pit of your stomach as the solidification of a route made the daunting journey ahead that much more real. Not to mention the fact that the distance to reach your destination seemed far greater and more vigorous than you had originally pictured in your mind. 

Despite your uncertainty about the future, one thing had become clear through your time spent planning a route.

The unspoken bond between the boys.

It made you long for whatever it was they shared, the unity that propelled them forward as a team. And not a single one of them had brought up the fact that what you were about to do was insane. 

Which it was.

It absolutely was.

The air outside hung heavy with an eery stillness. The world lie motionless as if it was waiting, watching.

In silence you helped the boys hurriedly load the rover with everything that would fit, throwing bags in through the open roof or the open frame and onto the seats. 

Apprehension wove its way deeper into your veins as you glanced over your lifeline of miscellaneous supplies. If Chan was right, if Miroh wasn’t a myth and your fathers journal held the truth on how to reach it, if your blood really was the key that would get you inside, then there would be enough provisions there to keep you alive until you were able to come up with the next part of your plan.  

But if one tiny detail went wrong along the way, if you experienced even the slightest disruption among countless unknowns and potential threats…well it didn't really matter, did it? Because it was a risk that at this point, none of you really had much choice but to take. 

After heaving a particularly heavy bag into the vehicle, you wiped the sweat from your brow and looked up to see Minho stepping out of the building with a small black duffel bag slung around his shoulder, his arms piled high with what appeared to be very basic medical supplies. You took a step back as he approached the side of the vehicle. When he went to toss everything inside, a roll of gauze slipped from his grasp and you kneeled to pick it up, handing it out to him. As he reached for it your eyes fell to a thin bracelet around his wrist that looked as if it had been crafted from a very fine, expensive material commonly used to make accessories in District 9. The bracelet must have held significant meaning for him to have left it on, considering the fact that wearing such an item outside of the Inner Circle would make him a target for anyone looking to make a considerable profit.

When you glanced up your eyes met briefly before he turned away. 

“There's more supplies inside,” he grumbled, pulling his sleeve back down before heading in the direction of the building.

Ever since you’d found out the truth about Minho, maybe because you felt some sort of estranged connection to the way his past vaguely mirrored your own, curiosity tugged at your thoughts whenever you saw him. 

Why had he left District 9? 

Was he driven by similar reasons as you? Or had different motives fueled his choice to leave behind a lifestyle of comfort and safety. Maybe it hadn’t been a choice for Minho at all. Either way, whatever it was, you didn’t have much confidence that you'd ever get to find out because despite your similarities, his resentment for you ran deep. That much was clear.

After the supplies were packed tightly into the vehicle, the boys ran back inside to collect the last of their belongings. All except for Changbin, who remained outside with you because he "didn't have anything worth bringing, anyway.”  His powerful demeanor held a hint of uneasiness that mirrored your own doubts.

As the two of you stood in silence, you glanced down at the small backpack in your hand, realizing that in your panic to gather essential supplies for the group you’d managed to neglect your own needs. It contained only a handful of your own clothes, and you wished you would have taken the time to pack at least one more pair of pants or maybe a sweater. Something a little warmer than the light jacket you sported now because of the unpredictable nature of the weather. But you'd only been given so much time and weapons and food were far more important than your own comfort in the bigger picture.

With a deep breath you adjusted the straps of the backpack and put your arms through, securing it to your back.

After the vehicle was topped off with fuel, a moment of stillness settled over the group as the nine of you stood in front of Yellow Wood. Your eyes shifted between the boys, taking in the faces of the only individuals in the world you would have no choice but to trust from this moment on.

When your gaze fell to Felix, you were surprised to find his piercing brown eyes already staring back. It was a fleeting moment, a stolen glance lasting no longer than a few seconds, but it caused your heart to ache nonetheless. Because in his eyes you detected something bordering along the lines of a plea for understanding. Almost as if he’d recognized the gravity of what he had done last night, and the choice it had resulted in you having to make. 

And yet, your disappointment and frustration with him lingered because last night had left you even more conflicted about your feelings for him than the first night you shared together on the rooftop. It wouldn’t be easy to forget the fear that gripped you the moment you turned the corner and saw the stranger with his hands wrapped tightly around his throat. It would be even harder to dismiss the overwhelming relief that flooded your veins when you found your way back into his arms.

A stolen glance turned into a battlefield of emotions. And you had no intention of losing the war.

Ripping your eyes from Felix, you took one more glance at the building that towered above you. Chan brought everyone back to the present moment when he announced that he was going to run back inside to grab one last thing he had forgotten. 

This prompted the rest of boys to begin piling into the rover, with Jeongin and Seungmin first to take their place in the very back amongst the supplies. You trailed Felix with your eyes as he disappeared around the corner of the building, returning only moments later atop the bike, revving the engine and commanding your attention as if it didn't already belong to him. The trace of softness in his eyes had been replaced by ready determination. He brushed his hair back, revealing the sharp features of his face as he tied the signature bandana around the lower half. When you took a few steps in his direction, he looked to you with unspoken expectation that you would join him on the bike as it had become something of a routine between the two of you.

But this time, something within you resisted. 

The freckled boy had a blatant, persistent disregard for his own life. Something that you weren't willing to let go of just yet, despite the fact that you weren’t willing to acknowledge why it bothered you to the extent that it did. 

But it did. 

With every fiber of your being, it did.

So instead of taking your usual place behind him, you crossed right in front of the bike, stepping up to the rover where Jisung was seated in the middle row next to Changbin. You stole a quick glance back at Felix where you found his stare fixed straight ahead, refusing to meet your eyes. 

Minho, who had been watching your calculated actions, snickered from his place in the passengers seat. 

You put a hand against the open frame of the vehicle and pulled yourself up, glancing between Jisung and the empty seat beside him.

"Thats Hyunjin's spot, but you're more than welcome to take it," he smirked playfully as the taller golden haired boy approached the vehicle behind you. 

You shrugged and plopped down next to Jisung. Hyunjin glared at you before surveying the space inside the vehicle. After coming to the conclusion that there wasn't enough room for him amongst the supplies, he sauntered over to Felix who now had his hands clenched tightly around the handles of the bike, posture rigid, as he continued to stare ahead at nothing in particular.

Hyunjin swung a long leg around the bike behind Felix, and something unexpected fell over you when he wrapped his arms around the younger boy's waist. The feeling grew when your intuition told you that it wasn't the first time the two of them had been this close. 

When Chan came running back outside, the heavy doors to Yellow Wood slammed shut behind him for the final time, demanding your attention. He took a quick glance between you and Felix, taking note of the peculiar seating arrangement before handing something out to you.

“I knew we had one more lying around somewhere."

You reached for it, running the soft fabric of the bandana through your fingertips. It matched those that the others had worn the night of raid, the ones that each of them had begun to tie around their faces now.

"Put it on, and don't take it off for anyone. Pull your hood up and tuck your hair in too." He spoke firmly, with no room for negotiation. Not that you would have argued anyway. You were well aware that concealing your identity was just as important as making it to Miroh.

You offered up a simple “got it" in return, acknowledging his instruction.

Satisfied with your response, Chan hopped into the driver's seat in front of you where he proceeded to secure his own bandana around his face. You watched from your position as he glanced down to Felix. 

"We stay together, Felix, I mean it. Don't do anything stupid,” he emphasized. “If you see any of them out there we handle it together. Like we always do."

Them.

Including not only your father and his army, but the monsters from Felix's past, however many more of them there may be. And you couldn’t help but wonder just how many additional enemies the boys had made out there—enemies that were now yours too, by default. With Chan’s warning, the possibility of separation also creeped in to your mind. The mere thought of someone discovering your true identity sent shivers racing down your spine because the consequences could mean forced separation from the entire group, including the freckled boy staring at you now.

You took a deep breath as the engines roared to life. With one final glance to Felix you had the sudden urge to explain to him that your decision to avoid joining him on the bike was nothing more than a desperate attempt to protect him from the danger that was now inevitable for anyone who came too close to you.

You’d made a promise, after all. 

Don’t let me love you. 

Your fleeting regret was swallowed by your world falling to pieces again as Chan stepped on the gas pedal and the vehicle jolted forward. You lifted your arms behind your head and tied the bandana around the lower half of your face. In the rearview mirror, you watched as Yellow Wood disappeared behind you, keeping a part of your innocence with it. Buried somewhere with the body in the backyard. 

Even if you never laid eyes on it again, you would be forever thankful that it had allowed you one night of euphoric ignorance before taking the plunge into the unknown. Even if that ignorance had ben ripped from your fingers the moment you thrust your knife into the back of a stranger. You just hoped your memories of the night on the rooftop with Felix would be strong enough to distract you from whatever darkness lie ahead. Yellow Wood wasn't good or evil, it was a place. Nothing more than a temporary refuge that had served its purpose for those who had known it lifetimes ago, for eight boys who called it home when they didn’t have anywhere else to go, and for you in your short time spent sheltered inside its walls. 

Nothing more, and yet, the loss tugged at your heart as you watched it slip away.

But it certainly wasn't the first time you'd felt this way. And so you decided that maybe there is always a part of yourself left behind when you leave a place permanently, with a gut feeling that you'll never make it back.  

You pulled the hood up as the vehicle raced through the trees and down the hill. You leaned your head back against the seat while the wind whipped through the open frame against your face. With half-lidded eyes, you kept a steady gaze on the motorcycle in front, allowing your shoulder to rest against Jisung's. Partly due to the cramped space, but more so because you were vulnerable, and scared, and desperate for any form of comfort. 

Like Felix who's own touch you had begun to crave in moments like this, Jisung’s touch was comforting too, just, in a different way. And if you were being honest, in that moment it did little to ease your nerves. But you kept your shoulder pressed firmly against his nonetheless, digging your nails into your palms, counting the minutes in your head. 

Before you left, Chan informed you that District 6 was often considered as a kind of physical border between the inner and outer districts. He had also warned you about the unpredictable nature of its atmosphere, and it didn’t take long for you to realize just how right he had been. The air that surrounded you now only magnified the feeling of lifelessness amidst the desolate landscape. 

As you ventured further into the outskirts of District 6, once abundant grass gave way to a predominantly barren expanse. With very sparse patches of green, it was a stark contrast to the forest that surrounded Yellow Wood and the thicker vegetation that you were used to seeing deep within District 9. The breeze was cold but the air was stuffy. And it smelled like mortality, and death, and loss, as if even the earth beneath your feet longed to be brought back to life. The atmosphere around you hung low and heavy with a palpable weight. A mixture of smoke, ash, and decay collected against your skin, wrapping you in a suffocating hold. It was smothering and seemed to fall in waves, alternating between thick pockets of dense fog and areas of cleaner air where you took every opportunity to fill your lungs. Each breath you inhaled caused you to cough, and it didn’t take long for the soreness to return to your throat as the pollution in the air left a bitter taste in your mouth. You figured the boys must have been used to the toxicity and the way it clawed at your lungs because although they cleared their throats frequently, they were nowhere near as affected as you. 

Felix looked back in the direction of the rover periodically and you met his gaze every single time. Scanning his face for any hint of distress, hoping he wasn't able to sense your own discomfort. Occasionally, his eyes flicked behind him to Hyunjin before returning ahead. 

When you came up upon a particularly dense patch of haze covering the earth ahead, Felix slowed the bike and looked to Chan for direction. After quick assessment of the situation, Chan brought a hand up, signaling to Felix to keep moving forward. You gritted your teeth, shifting uncomfortably next to Jisung, and after another quick glance your way Felix took the lead once again. The roar of the bike’s engine echoed throughout the silence in the air when he accelerated.

When the air around you turned heavy and your incessant coughing resumed, Jisung decided he’d had enough of your suffering. He turned you into his shoulder and pulled the hood higher up over your head so that you could breathe into his shirt. You stayed like that for a while, burying your face further into him despite the fact that you didn’t like not having eyes on the horizon or more specifically, the motorcycle up ahead. But you didn’t have much of a choice as taking slow, deliberate breaths through the fabric of his shirt acted like a filter, bringing a significant amount of relief to your aching lungs. 

As the moments passed, it felt increasingly foreign to share such an intimate moment with someone other than Felix. Not that you were comfortable with him yet by any means, you had never really been comfortable with anyone that wasn’t Jisoo, but part of you wished it was him that you were clinging to instead. And even if you couldn't deny the importance of the bond you were beginning to form with Jisung, somewhere buried deep down, a very selfish part of you wished it was Felix instead. 

The rover tore up the ground as it moved and when the atmosphere thinned around you once again, Jisung tapped your shoulder lightly.

Slowly, you lifted your head to meet his eyes. 

“You good?” he called out, raising his voice to compete with the sound of the engine.

Your head was beginning to throb, you felt more than a little dizzy, and with every bump the rover came across your stomach churned violently, but you managed to give him a soft nod in return. Keeping the bike in your peripherals, you locked eyes with Chan in the rearview mirror. He studied your face for a moment before leaning over and shouting something to Minho that was inaudible to you over the roar of the engine.

Minho pushed the heavy gun in his lap to the side as he bent down to grab something from the floor in front of him, coming back up with a canteen in his hand. 

When he turned around and handed it out to you you could have sworn that you saw the faintest glimmer of sympathy in his eyes. Although you quickly acknowledged that it was probably just the lack of fresh air messing with your senses….because there was no way in hell that Minho of all people gave a shit about your condition. As far as you knew, he was probably getting some sick sense of enjoyment out of your misery.

As the minutes blurred into hours and the hours blurred into each other, impossible to track when you couldn’t see the position of the sun in the sky through the clouds, the landscape began to change again before your eyes. Up ahead, the earth transformed into a gradual incline, taking the shape of a towering hill that stretched far and wide. Making note of the change in surroundings, Felix brought the bike to a temporary halt, allowing Chan to catch up once again.

The freckled boy pulled down his bandana and raised his voice, shouting over the rumble of both engines as they idled. It was difficult to hear but you managed to catch a few of his words, leading you to believe that he was suggesting that he and Hyunjin check out the area up ahead before the rest of the group. His proposition made you tense, and your heart quickened when Chan accepted, instructing Felix to stay within sight. Earning a nod from both boys in return. 

Taking note of your concern, Jisung leaned down and responded with an encouraging “They’re just going to check it out. Don’t worry, its all good,” before landing a hand on your knee and squeezing for added reassurance.

Felix tensed as he observed your interaction. And it didn't matter that he couldn't feel the warmth of the sun against his skin, because he felt searing flames rise up inside of him when he caught a glimpse of the way you looked at Jisung. Maybe he deserved to feel like this.

His heart skipped a beat when you turned from Jisung to met his own eyes. He held your stare until Chan asked for the second time what he was waiting for and he swiftly turned back around, replacing the bandana over his face.

You watched intently with the rest of the boys as the bike climbed the elevated landscape up ahead. At the top, Felix turned to Hyunjin and the two appeared to share quick word.

Felix looked back.

The motorcycle engine revved. 

“Don’t do it…” Changbin muttered from the other side of Jisung, and your grip on the edge of the seat tightened as the bike took off in the opposite direction, descending down the hill and out of your line of sight. In front of you, Chan spat out a curse before slamming the key in the ignition and restarting the engine. 

It wasn’t until the rover reached the top of the hill that you caught sight of what had captured their attention. On the other side, the earth descended into a wide valley that looked as if it might have been home to a mighty river once. It was now dry and almost entirely barren, aside from a handful of dying trees and brush. At the bottom, a small beige tent sat partially covered by faint gray smoke that rose up from a pile of dying embers at its side. You spotted Felix and Hyunjin beside it, already inspecting the seemingly abandoned campsite.

Minho leaned over to speak to Chan who you watched in the mirror, far too focused on the scene before you to respond. He gripped the steering wheel, ultimately coming to the conclusion that he had no choice but to step on the gas. He brought the rover to a stop beside the tent at the valley’s lowest point as the engine’s rumble faded into silence. 

“Nobody touch anything,” Chan warned, his eyes scanning the surroundings for any signs of hidden threats, “-and stay alert. We shouldn’t even be doing this, we need to keep moving.” 

But the boys were hungry and eager to stretch their legs, so they got out and began rummaging through the bags of supplies in search of one with food in it. Changbin pulled out a sizable gun from the back, his fingers gripping it confidently, and Minho cocked his own weapon when his feet hit the earth. Seungmin slung the bow around his shoulder and loaded an arrow, heeding Chan’s warning to stay alert. 

As soon as you dropped down from the vehicle your eyes went right to Felix who, despite his quick decision to approach the campsite, appeared visibly uneasy. His eyes scanned the area repeatedly until they landed on you at which point there was a subtle shift in his demeanor, a flicker of vulnerability in his expression. After a moment, he subtly made his way over. You noticed the slight twitch of his fingers as his gaze traveled up and down down your figure, almost as if he wanted to reach out to you, but he held himself back. 

Part of you wished that he hadn’t.

Because the vulnerable moment between the two of you was quickly shattered when Chan came storming in from behind you, shoving Felix's shoulder, causing him to stagger slightly.

“Did you not hear what I said about staying in sight?!” He exclaimed, his voice rising with every syllable that fell from his lips.

Felix steadied himself and took a step back in defense before responding, his voice tinged with a hint of defiance. “We needed to make sure it was safe, you should have stayed behind until we knew it was clear-"

“-We could have gone another way!” Chan’s words rang out as he closed the space between them again.

“There isn’t time!" Minho interjected, hurrying over and positioning himself between the two, firmly reminding Chan to keep his voice down.

The group behind you fell silent as they witnessed the exchange. And Minho wasn't exactly wrong. After all, the campsite did appear to be abandoned and to completely avoid it would have taken more time, more fuel, more risk in changing the route. Although that didn’t necessarily imply the need to come down and inspect it up close..

"Fucking reckless. Both of you." Chan shook his head at Felix and Hyunjin before turning around to address the group as a whole. “Let’s just get the hell out of here. We can find somewhere else to stop and rest after the sun goes down,” he continued. 

And because the unsettling scene before you made your skin crawl, you were more than eager to oblige.

You went to take a step in the direction of the rover when your foot caught on something, causing you to stumble and collide into Hyunjin at your side. You looked up at him with wide eyes, lifting your hands from his firm chest, bracing yourself for a particularly unpleasant reaction, but you were surprised to find his gaze fixated on the ground behind you instead. Following his stare, you spun around where your eyes landed on something at your feet. 

A small gold medallion lay nestled in the grass. You bent down to pick it up and your stomach twisted sickly as you ran your thumb across the surface to wipe off the dirt.

There, in your palm, engraved on the medallion lie your family crest.

The sight sent a shockwave throughout your body as you staggered backward, dropping the medallion, and clutching your chest. The startling realization that the campsite belonged to your father's men, that they had stood in this very spot, that they had been this close, absolutely shattered your composure. 

In an instant, all eight boys surrounded you, although you hardly registered them at all as your vision tunneled back to the medallion on the ground.

“Everyone get back to the vehicles. Now.” Chan commanded after examining the pendant for himself. His voice came out as stable as he could manage, but the worry was evident. 

In an instant, before anyone was able to take another step, Hyunjin swiftly reached for your arm, his touch was abrupt and forceful as he yanked you backward. A gust of wind brushed by your head, followed by the sharp crack of a bullet embedding itself in the tree to your side. The close call sent adrenaline coursing through your veins and you looked up in shock, locking eyes with Felix whose expression mirrored your own horror. Without a second to thank Hyunjin for quite literally saving your life, all nine of you snapped your heads in the direction that the bullet had come from. The silence that followed the gunshot was shattered by the deafening roar of an engine. 

A second rover, identical to the one that had brought you here, emerged over the top of the hill on the other side of the valley.

Nothing you had been put through up to this point could have prepared you for what flooded over you at the sight of the vehicle. Not the final execution you had witnessed at the palace, or the feeling of the knife in your hand as it ripped through a stranger. None of it could ever have compared to the terror that gripped you in that moment.

Because you had been able to protect Felix last night, but you wouldn't be able to save any of them from the impending threat hurdling toward you now. 

In less than a second, the world around you descended into chaos.

Sounds blended together into an incomprehensible mess. Unfamiliar voices rang out from up ahead, intertwining with the distant engine of the vehicle and the thundering of gunfire. Chan, you thought, yelled out again for everyone to get back to the vehicles, although his words were quickly swallowed by the madness. 

It made sense why your fathers guards would resort to shooting without hesitation. Nobody outside of your father’s army should have had access to a rover like the one parked just feet from you now. Nobody except for the only group of people they knew did have access to one. Because they had watched them use it to escape the night of the raid.

And because of your partially concealed face, how ironic it was that the guards had absolutely no idea that it was you they had almost put a bullet through.

Paralyzing fear took over your body as you watched them close in, rendering your legs immobile. You turned back around, locking eyes with Felix who began to step toward you with his hand outstretched. Just as his fingers brushed against yours, a bullet whizzed between the two of you, forcing him to stumble back.

Suddenly, you felt a powerful tug wrench you away from Felix as Changbin seized hold of you, forcefully guiding you in the opposite direction toward the rover. His voice bellowed out through the chaos as he shouted at Felix to get back to the bike. The freckled boy nodded curtly, eyes trained on you as you fought against Changbin while he tried to push your head down in an attempt to further conceal your identity. Your body resisted his hold, instincts pulling you toward Felix as you desperately wanted to break free and join him on the bike, but it was no use. Changbin was far stronger than you. With one arm around you, Changbin swiftly tossed Hyunjin his gun and without hesitation Hyunjin mounted the bike behind Felix as the engine roared to life. 

No matter how much you struggled in Changbin’s grasp, his hold on you remained steadfast. Without a choice, you yielded to his guidance as he pulled you up into the rover. Jisung quickly took the empty spot beside you, but your eyes never wavered from Felix. You watched intently as he turned the handlebars of the bike. Pointing them in the direction of the approaching vehicle, he tightened his grip on the throttle and accelerated a short way before skidding to the side and turning back around. He began to trace a daring path back and forth, kicking a thick cloud of dust into the air and drawing attention to the bike as Hyunjin took aim at your father’s men. 

Despite your initial shock at his actions, it soon became clear that he was trying distract the guards. To obstruct their vision and buy enough precious time for the rest of you to escape.

From his place in the driver's seat, Chan caught on to Felix's plan just as soon as you did. His eyes widened with realization before he forced the key into the ignition. You tried to stand despite Changbin and Jisung pulling you back down. Raising your voice, you yelled out to Chan as he started the engine, fighting against the boys.

“What are you doing?! We can’t just leave them!”

Your heart pounded in your chest as time surrounding the rover stood still. Every single one of the boys around you held their breath as Chan hesitated, hands trembling slightly against the steering wheel, conflicting emotions evident on his face as he looked back to Felix and Hyunjin. The weight of the decision bore down on him, the responsibility of every single one of your lives in his hands, and for a moment it almost seemed as if he wasn’t going to be able to make the choice. Until Felix looked back, his deep voice booming throughout the chaos. 

“Go! Get out of here!”

Chan’s voice cracked as he yelled out in response, “You know where we are! Meet us-“

“-I know! GO!” Felix shouted back, voice laced with urgency. “We’re right behind you!” and then he ducked to avoid an incoming bullet as Hyunjin swiftly fired back in the direction that it had come from. Minho stood and joined him in sending a few bullets toward your fathers men before he bent back down, hands reaching for the steering wheel as he jerked it to the side, yelling out to Chan that you needed to go now. 

When the vehicle began to move, your heart was on the brink of exploding within your chest, as the weight of the world on your shoulders threatened to engulf you completely.

“Felix!” You called out, strained voice breaking in desperation as the fear of losing him tore at your soul once again. His head whipped around at the sound of your voice. With a final look in your direction, his eyes conveyed unspoken reassurance, a silent plea to trust him, and a promise that you couldn’t fully understand in that moment. 

A promise that he would find his way back to you. 

And then he tore his eyes from yours as Hyunjin shouted at him to “move!”, directing him to use the bike to create another diversion for your escape.

With only a moment to spare, Chan spinned around in his seat and placed a firm hand on your shoulder.

"Look at me, y/n look at me,” you turned to face him, eyes glossy with tears, “Felix knows what he's doing, he's fast with the bike and Hyunjin is a near perfect shot,” his panicked words were meant come across as reassuring but the expression on his face sure as hell wasn't. 

Either way, Chan was a leader, and he did what leaders were supposed to do. He made the impossible, life-altering, split-second decisions. And so with a stern glance to Changbin who tightened his grip on you, he turned back around and stepped forcefully on the gas pedal.

And it's probably a good thing you weren't in his position, because you never would have been able to leave the freckled boy with the stars in his eyes behind. Not when it meant leaving a part of yourself, behind too.

You couldn’t breathe.

You really couldn’t breathe. 

As the rover surged ahead, racing into the setting sun, your focus remained fixed on the valley as it disappeared behind you. Panic coursed through your veins, constricting your chest and clouding your senses. After you had gotten far enough away, Changbin released you and you leaned forward immediately, raising your voice to reach Chan's ears.

“How could you leave them behind!? We have to go back-we have to-“ As the words tumbled out from your lips in a frantic rush, you looked around to the rest of the boys behind you. They remained still, even Jisung avoided your eyes now.

 “What are you doing?! We have to-” you turned back to Chan but before you could form any kind of a coherent sentence, he jerked the vehicle harshly to the side, causing you to grab onto the frame above until it came to a skidding halt. As the dust settled around you, Chan whirled around to face you. His resolute expression did little to conceal how shaken he was by having to leave the boys behind. 

“Do you think that was easy for me?! Do you think that was easy for any of us?!”

His words carried through the air, and a pang of guilt struck you when you saw the burden of the responsibility that he carried reflected in his eyes.

“If one of them had recognized you…“ 

Your stomach twisted as the guilt intensified, because deep down you knew he never would have left Felix and Hyunjin behind if it weren’t for you. But he didn’t have a choice. If any one of your father’s men had recognized you it would have meant disaster in the form of certain death for every single one of them. 

The weight of the boys’ emotions pressed down on you. Not a single sound escaped their lips as they watched your interaction with Chan. Not even Minho took the opportunity to further solidify the fact that this was all your fault.

“Where we’re going, we’ll be safe for the night. It’s close, and Felix has been there before so he knows where to go,” Chan cleared his throat before adding “they’re right behind us.”

And then he glanced to the skyline over your shoulder but you didn’t need to do the same to know what you’d find there.

They weren’t right behind you. 

“Where...." your voice trembled as it took everything in you to fight back tears.

“Someone Felix and I have known for a very long time. An…acquaintance,” his own voice faltered on the word “acquaintance” before continuing. “I was trying to avoid it, but we don’t have a choice. We can’t stay out in the open tonight.”

Trying to avoid it. 

Likely meaning that it was one of the areas he’d crossed out earlier when you were planning the route. A place he had originally hoped to steer clear of, but the circumstances had evidently forced his hand.

“We will find a way back to them, I promise.” This time, Chan wasn’t just speaking to you. He was also addressing the boys who were equally as shaken, but his words weren’t enough to ease the doubt in your mind.

Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Chan. 

You sat back without another word, turning your focus up ahead where something caught your attention.

Two figures.

Shadowed by the setting sun, riding atop two powerful animals that as far as you knew, had been extinct for hundreds of years. Animals you couldn’t remember the name of because you never really paid much attention to your private tutoring lessons, not that it mattered. The sight of them was enough to render you speechless. 

Chan spun back around and you studied his face in the mirror as recognition fell across it.

“It’s her….” he mumbled under his breath, looking to Minho seated beside him. 

Her. 

As the figures drew nearer, you realized that the one leading the way was a woman. 

Chan addressed the group quickly, conveying that he and he alone would handle the conversation. He locked eyes with you, pausing for a moment before reaching out to pull the hood back over your head. When Jisung and Changbin settled in closer to you, you looked up to Jisung, finding brief solace in his eyes before putting your head down. 

Unable to resist the curiosity when the strangers reached the side of the vehicle, you shifted to catch a glimpse of the woman from underneath your hood. She possessed an air of maturity, with long dark hair that cascaded down her shoulders and sides, streaked heavily with grey. One half of her face exhibited what appeared to be burn scars, extending all the way down her arm. Her presence exuded a quiet strength that demanded respect, and her beauty was evident even despite the scars. The male to her side was younger than you had initially thought. Several decades younger than her, he seemed to be around the same age as you and the boys. Reddish hair fell down to frame the enticing features of his face, and you were beginning to wonder if it was this common for everyone outside of District 9 to possess such ethereal beauty. He sported similar attire as the woman. Fairly well put together, their clothing was obviously worn but not nearly as much as you’d expect for someone who resided in District 6. 

As they brought the animals to a stop, the woman appeared to recognize Chan immediately. Alone, he stepped down to greet her as she remained atop the animal, tightly gripping its long mane. 

“Chris," her voice carried a velvety, alluring tone, "its been quite a while, hasn’t it?” 

A silent exchange passed between the two, characterized by familiarity and a touch of tension. The strange name she used to address him with left you even more curious about the actual depth of their relationship.  

The woman turned to the rover, scanning the faces inside. When her eyes fell to you, they widened ever so slightly. An eyebrow arched in intrigue as her lips parted, and you quickly leaned into Jisung once again.

“It has, Hira.” Chan acknowledged her before turning his attention to the male at her side, addressing him as “Yeonjun.” The two shared a quick greeting before Chan, or Chris, began to explain the nature of the group's situation, carefully selecting which details to share and what to withhold. He told the woman, Hira, that you were in desperate need of a place to stay for the night. When she asked where the group was headed, he replied with “District seven, in search of a permanent place to settle”. When she asked how you had obtained the vehicle, he offered an explanation that was even more vague. Stating that the group had just “come across it, abandoned, fully stocked with supplies.”

How ridiculous.

Even you would have been able to come up with something better than that..and you were worried there was no way in hell she could be gullible enough to believe the lies that spilled from his mouth.

Chan concluded his explanation by revealing the separation from Felix and Hyunjin, at which point you couldn’t help but steal another glance at Hira. She appeared to understand the gravity of your situation without him ever needing to mention your fathers guards or why the group had been forced to split up in the first place. 

As she processed his words, her eyes gravitated to you once again. A shiver descended your spine as they bore into you, as if she was trying to catch a glimpse of your soul. Unsure of exactly how much she knew or what she could unravel with a single glance, it filled you with unease. When she looked back to Chan, a haunting smile fell across her scarred face. 

“You know that you and your people are always more than welcome to stay with me and mine, Chris. Take as long as you need. I trust that you remember the…conditions to my hospitality. That-"

"-there is always a cost." The two spoke in unison, the woman and Chan.

"Ah yes," she smiled again, pleased with his response. "The weapons you provided Yeonjun with last time were in pristine condition, they have already sold for a generous sum." A flash of greed danced across her eyes as they fell to the gun in Minho's hands. "It seems as though you've come prepared this time. How long will you be staying?"

“Just the night,” he paused before adding, "we will be able to compensate you fairly.” And then he reached out and motioned for Minho to toss him the gun. After Minho obliged, Chan handed it over to the woman. She examined it closely, eyes gleaming with satisfaction as she turned the weapon over in her hands. "And i trust you have more where this came from?" She looked to him and he nodded.

"Three more. Four in total," she proposed.

"Two more. Three in total," Chan responded, a hint of reservation in his tone.

She contemplated his offer, narrowing her stare when they locked eyes.

"Deal, but only because of the impeccable condition, such remarkable craftsmanship..." She ran her hands across the cool metal once more before adding "You can follow me back to Clé, it’s not far from here as I'm sure you know.”

She then turned to address the male beside her. “Yeonjun will ride ahead to collect your friends." 

The mention of Felix reignited the ache within your chest. The sudden appearance of the mysterious strangers had provided a fleeting distraction, but with each passing moment in their presence your longing for him began to resurface at full force.

The woman’s lingering eyes stole one last glance at you before tugging on the animal’s mane. The sound of hooves filled the air when she turned and began to lead the way. Yeonjun followed her command, guiding his own animal behind you in the opposite direction, and you watched until he disappeared into the shadows cast by the setting sun. 

As the rover began to move, Minho leaned in to Chan and the two engaged in hushed conversation. You listened intently, trying to pick out any words you could but it was no use. Sinking back into the seat between Changbin and Jisung, you closed your eyes and pictured the freckled boy in your mind, desperately clinging on to whatever fading shred of hope you had left that you would ever see him again.  

The sunset painted the cloudy sky with fiery tones.

And Hira was right, it didn’t take long, fifteen minutes maybe, before you spotted the silhouette of a small structure in the distance. It stood alone against the backdrop of scorching orange and red hues, appearing as though it had become one with the unforgiving terrain over time. A forgotten outcast, sheltered among dying trees with branches like skeletal fingers reaching up to touch the sky. 

Following her lead, Chan brought the vehicle around to the backside of the house where Hira tied the animal to a nearby post. When you hopped down, the loose dirt beneath your feet emitted a satisfying crunch. Looking up, a jolt of surprise coursed through you as you were met with Hira's dark eyes. Taken aback by her close proximity and fascinated stare, you stumbled into Jeongin, who had just landed on the ground behind you. You reached behind, grabbing onto him for stability as she lifted an arm and carefully removed your hood, taking a piece of your hair into her hand.

She studied it between her fingers as if she were utterly perplexed before muttering underneath her breath "beautiful." 

Chan cleared his throat, and you looked up to see all eyes on you. As if nothing had happened at all, the woman released your hair, seamlessly joining Chan in leading the group to the front of the building. It might have been the first time you had officially interacted with Jeongin, but you only tightened your hold on his sleeve as you moved. Thankfully he didn't seem to mind as he stuck by your side while the rest of the boys formed a protective barrier around the two of you. During the brief introductions that took place as you approached the building, you avoided the woman's gaze when you told her that your name was Jisoo.

The two-story structure before you stood as a testament to the relentless passage of time. Its frame, originally crafted from wood, bore the marks of age through faded green paint, chipping away like scars left behind by countless years. Open windows had been sealed off from the inside by sturdy wooden boards, creating an air of secrecy. The door, no longer a solid barrier, was covered by a long tattered curtain that matched the colors of the setting sun behind you. It swayed gently in the breeze.

In front of you, Hira brushed back the curtain to reveal a candlelit interior. The ceiling was low, creating a sense of confinement. In a way, it reminded you of the tavern in District 7, although the atmosphere inside was stagnant and held an air of something far less innocent. 

It became evident shortly after stepping inside that this was a gathering spot for people who had found themselves on the fringes of society, seeking something more than just refuge. Because as Hira walked you through the lower level, hushed whispers and soft murmurs floated through the air, accompanied by occasional gasps of pleasure. You caught glimpses of intimate encounters through cracked doors, meeting the eyes of individuals in various states of undress whose beauty was contrasted by the sadness in their eyes. 

After passing through a small area that appeared to serve as a kitchen for Hira and her guests, with a wooden table and a few mismatched chairs, you found yourselves back at the main room. Just inside the entrance.

Under the premise of supposed safety, your longing for Felix turned insufferable. Because you didn't really care if any of you were safe until you knew that he was too.

As if Chan had been plagued by the same thought, his voice split the silence.

"Its dark now..it might be safe enough for me to…maybe I should go out and look for the others..." His words were directed to Hira, although you couldn't be sure whether he was asking for permission or informing her of his intention. Either way, his growing concern was evident. 

With firm resolve, the woman responded with a simple "No, that won't be necessary." And as if he had been expecting her response, Changbin stepped forward immediately, ready to argue, but he paused when she raised a hand and addressed Chan once more.

"Something tells me you know that it is wiser for you to remain here. Yeonjun has never failed me in a request, and I trust that he will return with your friends." Changbin stepped back and Chan fell silent. His usual authority seemed to vanish in her presence, leaving you even more curious about the dynamics between the two. About the experiences they'd shared while you were eating seasoned meals and taking hot baths to cleanse skin that was already clean.

Time had never moved so painfully, agonizingly, slow. Your profound understanding of the very real danger Felix and Hyunjin were in ate away at you with every passing second. Unable to sit still even after the others had settled down on the floor or the worn out furniture, you paced the room until Jisung silently called you over, patting the ground beside him against one of the walls. Your leg continued to shake uncontrollably even after you sat down, and it wasn’t until Seungmin came over to join you on your other side that you were able to stop. For the same reason you had chosen to sit by him the first night around the fire, something about Seungmin's presence made you worry just a little less. 

As everyone anxiously awaited the return of the boys, even Hira had her eyes trained on the door whenever she wasn’t looking your way. Her not-so-subtle fascination with you only added to your overall unease, mostly because you just couldn't shake the feeling that her interest in the groups wellbeing went far beyond an innocent desire to help. Even if her and “Chris” happened to be old friends. Or acquaintances, or whatever the hell he’d called her. But you didn't really care about trying to decipher any of that right now. Not when all you could think about was the freckled boy who you'd let slip through your fingertips earlier. 

Who you had failed to protect.

After a seemingly endless stretch of time, the curtain covering the door shifted ever so slightly and the room stood in unison, yourself included.

It was pulled back by Yeonjun now standing at the entrance. You took a step forward, gaze darting past him immediately. Desperately searching for any glimpse of dark hair behind him, your eyes were met with gold instead.

Hyunjin.

You released a steady exhale. Aside from a few smudges of dirt on his otherwise flawless features, he appeared to be relatively unscathed. Your nervousness eased at the sight of his familiar face, but it wasn’t until Felix stepped through the threshold behind him that you felt like you could breathe again.

For the first time since you had been forced to leave him behind, you could breathe.

You leaned forward as your eyes scanned every inch of his figure. He appeared slightly more disheveled than Hyunjin, with tousled hair and a small cut to his cheek, but he was alive, breathing, unharmed. The sight of him standing before made you ache to wrap him in your arms, but you remained rooted where you stood. As if your feet were shackled to the ground by invisible chains that warned of the danger that came with exposing the extent of your feelings to everyone in the room. So you masked your relief with a faint smile that lasted only a fraction of a second. 

But you were certain Felix had seen it.

A low sigh escaped his lips, barely audible despite the silence in the room. Unbeknownst to you, it was a breath he had been holding since the very moment you had been torn apart. Nobody else seemed to notice the way you looked only to each other, or maybe they did, but you didn't really care.

Chan approached the boys first. He put an arm around both of their shoulders and whispered something to them before turning around to thank Yeonjun for their safe return. Hira nodded in acknowledgement when Chan introduced her to Hyunjin, but there didn't appear to be a need for introductions between her and Felix. The familiarity between Felix and Yeonjun was also apparent, although whatever it was between them came off as more of an uncomfortable, awkward tension than anything else.

Before the rest of the boys had a chance to approach Felix and Hyunjin, Hira commanded the room's attention. She guided the group back into the kitchen, over to a receded staircase in the corner that you hadn't noticed the first time. Yeonjun swiftly found his way to her side and you eyed them cautiously as they engaged in hushed conversation at the front of the group.

Wooden steps creaked underneath your feet as you climbed the stairs, worn with time and countless journeys up and down. At the top was a long hallway lined by closed doors, peeling wallpaper, and flickering candles. You made note of what appeared to be a supply closet just off the landing. The door was slightly ajar and you observed a small pile of blankets and crates stacked inside. Nearly empty, aside from a very meager handful of supplies.

Hira pointed out two rooms at the end of the corridor where you and the boys were to sleep for the night. Chan and Minho shared a glance, acknowledging that they didn't have much choice but to accept.

And Felix never left your side. 

Or maybe you never left his. Either way, whether by conscious choice or something less deliberate, you mirrored each others steps the entire way up the stairs and back down again. The subtle brush of his arm against yours spoke volumes, but you were desperate for more. To to hear him tell you that he was okay. To feel the warmth of his skin against yours.

Bodies weary, the group followed Hira back down the steps into the kitchen where the small table now held an assortment of miscellaneous scraps of food. You were each offered a bowl, and you gladly accepted. Without enough chairs for everyone around the table, Jisung, Changbin, and Seungmin made themselves comfortable on the floor with their backs leaned against the wall, bowls in hand. Just as you were preparing to join them, with Felix right on your heels, Hira's voice cut through the air, interrupting your action. 

"No, dear, sit here by my side. I insist." You glanced up to where she sat at the head of the table. Her words were accompanied by a very poor attempt at a welcoming smile that only caused you to recoil backward into Felix.

You looked to Chan for direction and when he nodded you hesitantly obliged, walking over to take the seat to her right, directly across from Chan who sat at her other side.

Without waiting for his own invitation, Felix slid down into the empty seat beside you. Jeongin ended up across from Felix, with Yeonjun positioning himself the other end of the table across from Hira. Minho opted to lean against the doorway to the kitchen, while Hyunjin claimed the spot on the floor that you had originally planned on taking next to Seungmin. 

As dinner progressed, Hira spoke solely to Chan. She brought up stories of their past encounters and the atmosphere tensed further whenever he let out an occasional bout of strained laughter. The rest of the group remained quiet as they feigned interest in the scraps of food that had been placed in front of them, and you did the same. Gritting your teeth as you stared at the bowl because the faster you got through this night, the faster you would be able to get the hell out of here. 

The faster you would be able to find a moment alone with Felix. Which was the only thing that mattered to you now. 

Throughout the meal, Hira's eyes continuously fell to you, just as they had from the moment she'd first caught sight of you earlier. And despite the fact that she was supposedly listening to Chan, she didn't seem to have any interest in him or their conversation whatsoever. 

It became increasingly evident that you weren’t the only one aware of her strange behavior. Beside you, Felix’s grip on the roll of bread in his hand tightened with every second that her eyes remained fixed on you. As if a protective instinct was taking hold of him in response to her unwavering interest.

Just as Chan began to cautiously navigate his way through a story about a time several years ago when he'd crossed paths with Hira in District 4, she curtly interrupted him, turning to face you directly. 

"You know dear, there is room for you here," she purred, reaching out to place a palm over your clenched fist where it rest on the table. 

Her cold touch sent an icy shockwave up your arm.

Chan stopped talking mid sentence, Jisung nearly choked on his food behind you, and your entire body froze. Your eyes widened as you lifted your gaze from the bowl in front of you, looking to Chan for help. But his expression only mirrored your own shock as his mouth fell slightly agape while you stared at each other in disbelief. 

Before either you or Chan could find the words, Felix's voice sliced through the tension in the air like a blade. Resonating dangerously low, it nearly shook the room beside you. 

"She. Stays. With. Us." he growled through clenched teeth, putting sharp emphasis on each individual word. The roll of bread in his hand crumpled beyond repair as he used every muscle in his body to keep his restraint. 

Hana's gaze flickered from you to Felix, engaging in a silent standoff, until her eyes began to shift back and forth between the two of you. A sly grin fell across her face as she pieced together the fact that there was something more between you and Felix. Something that went far beyond what you had with the rest of the boys. Far beyond camaraderie or the mutual need to depend on each other for survival. She looked back to you with envy in her eyes, a lingering possessiveness, and after a few more moments of uncomfortable silence she did something not a single one of you could have expected.

She began to laugh. 

A chilling sound that started out quiet before building loud enough to echo throughout the entire room. Felix's stare spoke volumes as his eyes remained trained on the woman at your side, piercing and unyielding, making it more than clear that he didn't find anything funny about the situation at all. Your heart pounded in your ears, your breath caught in your throat, and every single hair on the back of your neck stood on end before her laughter ended just as abruptly as it had begun. Her facial expression shifting once again to that of an eery stoicism.

“You all must be exhausted after such a long day. Rest well tonight and replenish your strength,” she addressed the group as a whole before turning back to Felix. Her final words were directed solely at him. “A tired mind is dangerous companion.” 

Without another word she rose gracefully from her seat, the scraping of her chair against the floor only adding to the unsettling feeling in the air. She swiftly exited the room with Yeonjun following closely behind. 

Every single one of the boys remained motionless. With their eyes glued to Chan, they waited for him to offer any form of direction but he appeared to be just as taken aback as the rest of you by her actions. By her offer to you.

When he finally regained the ability to speak, it was barely above a whisper. “She's right...lets just take the opportunity to rest for a few hours. We'll be safe here for the night.”

Why does he keep saying that. 

We aren't safe anywhere.

Chan stood, and just as Yeonjun had hurried after Hana, the boys mirrored his actions. They got up and approached the staircase at the other end of the kitchen. At your side, Felix was the only one who had yet to move a muscle.

Chan’s knowing eyes said it all as he looked back at the two of you one last time before leaving you to yourselves, ascending the staircase behind the rest of the group. Probably a mistake, on his part, to leave you alone. Not that he could have known the depth of your emotions or the fleeting nature of your self control. 

Felix sat rigid as he fixated on the wall in front of him.

Something brought you back to this morning, when you’d refused to join him on the bike in an attempt to push down your growing feelings. Stupid, stupid feelings that threatened to ruin everything whenever you found yourself alone with him.

You remembered the promise you had made to him on the rooftop. 

Don't let me love you. 

Slowly, you got up from your chair. 

Felix did the same.

Just walk away, y/n. Turn around. Go upstairs. Go to sleep. 

Walk. Away.

Standing beside you now, facing you, inches from you, he looked you up and down. He reached for your wrist and ran his thumb over a small cut on your forearm that you hadn't even realized was there.

Without a word, he set your arm back down at your side and took a step past you in the direction of the staircase.

Don’t look back. Just let him go. 

Let. Him. Go. 

Fuck-

“-Wait” You muttered, grabbing onto his arm and pulling him with you across the kitchen to the foot of the staircase, partially hidden in between the recessed walls. His eyes darted upward as the boys retreated into their designated rooms. And you stayed like that, pressed up against him in the small space until the doors closed behind them. 

As soon as they clicked shut, you blurted out the first thing that came to your mind. 

“Are you fucking insane?! What the hell were you thinking earlier? Staying behind like that.” Struggling to keep your voice down, the words came out a bit more accusatory than you had originally intended. But now that he was in front of you, now that you knew he was safe, you couldn’t help but express a little frustration.

“I was just...doing what needed to be done.” He answered, voice husky and low, eyes dark and inviting. Your brow furrowed as you searched for the right response. Literally anything to convey how much his continued disregard for his own life drove you absolutely mad. But no words seemed adequate enough.

Maybe you would have come up with something eventually, if the growing closeness between you wasn't making it impossible to concentrate on anything other than how badly you wanted him to rail you senseless.

For fucks sake. Get it together.

After a moment, a subtle curl formed at the corner of his upper lip.

"What, were you worried about me princess?" He mused, poking his tongue into his cheek.

"I'm serious!" You shot back in a rather poor attempt to conceal the fact that his accusation and such a simple, simple action could have you so impossibly weak at the knees. 

"You heard Chan. We were supposed to stay together. All of us, which includes you. Because we need you."

Because I need you, idiot.

The smugness fell from his face as his expression began to soften.

“And yeah, maybe I am tired of watching you try to get yourself killed but that doesn't mea-" before you could finish reprimanding him, Felix leaned down and captured your lips between his.

You pulled back, eyes wide. 

"What are you-" but your words were cut off again when you went to take a step back and nearly tripped on the staircase behind you, instinctively reaching for his arms to steady yourself. 

Amusement spread across his face, as if he was proud of himself for making you fall apart like his. His reaction made your cheeks flush hot with embarrassment but before you could utter another word he moved in again. Your hands betrayed you as they pulled him closer, but instead of kissing you again like you’d expected Felix ducked his head to your neck where he began to pepper the sensitive skin with a number of light kisses. You glanced upstairs where the boys had retreated for the night, then back down across the kitchen where Hana and Yeonjun had disappeared only moments before.

“What if someone-” You pulled back for a second time. 

"Let them,” he mumbled against your skin. "Its not like they don't already suspect it,” he added while running his tongue along the fading mark on your neck that you’d forgotten was there. 

“And you’re alright with that?” You nearly moaned out the final word when he began to suck lightly at the tender spot on your neck, barely having time to finish your sentence before he forcefully reconnected your lips.

Felix was more than alright with that.

But of course, its not like he had meant for this to happen. He really did have every intention of following the others upstairs. He really did. Its just that he’d narrowly missed about 17 bullets today, half of them aimed at his head, which had him fairly convinced that he might actually never get to see you again. So the sight of you in his arms now, lust and concern etched beautifully across your face as you looked to him as if he was your entire world, had him overcome with the need to be inside of you.

And you really hadn't meant to end up like this either, shamelessly pulling him in by the collar as he cradled your face in his hands. Succumbing to the magnetic pull that urged you to follow him as he took a step backward up the stairs. There were so many things you wanted to say to him about his past, to ask him why he had taken the blame for killing the intruder, and you still weren't done scolding him for his decision to stay behind earlier. But none of it mattered in that moment. Because he was safe, he’d managed to find his way back to you, and you wanted nothing more than to show him just how thankful you were for that.

"m' glad you're okay" the words slipped from your lips on accident between kisses as you followed him up the stairs. You swallowed quickly before adding “I-I mean because, you know....they were worried about you..the others.”

“Oh really?” he swiped his tongue along your bottom lip, and you hummed in agreement before granting him access. 

You wrapped your arms around his neck from where you now stood on the step above him. When he looked up into your eyes, a conflicted expression washed over his features before he lifted his head to kiss you again. 

"Lix," you mumbled against his lips when you took the last step at the top of the staircase. 

"Yeah, princess?" He breathed out, meeting you on the landing where his hands slid down to rest at the back of your thighs, just below your ass, pulling you closer. You spoke against his lips when he moved in to reconnect them to yours.

“This doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you." 

"Mhmm" he tightened his grip on your thighs.

"It doesn't mean I hate you any less," you continued, nipping at his bottom lip and pulling it back in your teeth. "Because I do, you know?”

And his eyes were dark when you opened yours to look back at him, pupils blown wide. 

"Whatever you say, sweetheart." 

That was new.

And then, with a firm squeeze at your thighs, Felix effortlessly lifted you up, your legs instinctively wrapping around his waist as your arms circled his neck. His hands cupped your ass and you kissed him like that for some time. Shamelessly giving in to the uncontrollable desire that had brought you together in the first place, in a dim candlelit hallway, surrounded on either side by rooms full of sleeping travelers and the rest of the boys. And none of it mattered. You would have kissed him until your lips bled, running your hands through his hair, your tongues battling for dominance. 

But Felix made it very clear that he wanted more.

He moved until your back hit the wall behind you and you gripped him tighter to keep yourself upright. When he pressed his hips further into you another weak moan fell from your lips. He shifted and you looked down, realizing that that the wall to your back was actually a door. 

The supply closet. 

Felix maneuvered your bodies so that he could push the door open with his back. 

As he carried you into the cramped space, you placed a very gentle kiss to the scratch on his cheek. Inside, shut off from the rest of the world, you were free to lose yourselves in each other completely. Candlelight from the hallway spilled in through the wide gap beneath the door, enough to cast a faint glow inside the room. And the door barely had time to shut before both of you were halfway undressed.

Felix picked up a blanket from the ground and threw it across the stack of crates that took up the majority of the small space. He set you down gently on top of them, bending over to keep your lips connected while he shoved his pants down, and you did the same. Frantically pushing your own pants and underwear down before tossing your shirt to the side, and it didn’t even have time to hit the ground before he was pressed up against you again, reaching around to unclasp your bra. Just as you had struggled with the buckle on his belt, he fumbled with it briefly and you smiled against his lips. But he was determined and it took only a moment before he stripped it from your body and the stuffy air hit your skin. When you shifted on the crates, your exposed breasts bounced slightly, immediately drawing his attention. He licked his lips as he devoured them with hungry eyes.

“Like what you see?” You mocked, reaching down to bring his hands up to your chest. He squeezed the soft flesh and you gasped when his fingertips pinched lightly at your nipples.

And it was in that moment that Felix decided he would never be able to get enough of you, so willing to expose yourself to him like this. So desperate for his touch on your bare skin, for his cock buried inside of you. You didn’t even need to say it out loud because your eyes were begging.

One of his hands trailed down between your legs and he slid a finger through the wetness of your slit. 

“Fuck, princess...so wet already,” he murmured against your jaw, and you let out a stifled moan into his neck when he pulled you closer and pressed his thumb to your puffy clit. He rubbed slow circles before inserting a finger inside of you, followed shortly after by a second. The skillful movement of his fingers made you melt into his touch as you rolled your hips to meet his hand. As your head went dizzy and your vision blurred.

Between his fingers pumping in and out of you at just the right speed, his thumb adding pressure to your clit, the squeezing of your breast in his other hand, and the sloppy wet kisses he continued to press to your neck and jaw, your body was already threatening to spill over the edge. To prolong the pleasure, not ready to let go just yet, you shifted. He licked your juices from his fingers when you brought his hand up to his mouth. "You taste so sweet princess," he muttered, accent heavy in his current state as you reached down to release his cock from his underwear. It sprang free and you pushed him back gently, dropping from the crates, your knees hitting the ground. He looked down at you as your hand wrapped around his pulsing cock. You swirled a bit of precum around the tip before licking a stripe up his shaft and taking him into your mouth. 

As you hollowed your cheeks around him and began to bob your head, running your tongue along a thick vein on the underside of his cock, Felix leaned back against the door. His head turned to the ceiling as his eyes lazily fell shut, and he wondered how much you'd had to practice to get it this right. But he didn't want to think about that now. He only wanted to think about you on your knees for him. A whimper escaped his lips when you swirled your tongue around his leaking head, across his slit. The unexpected sound from him and the salty taste on your tongue had you rubbing your thighs forcefully together. 

Felix let his mind go empty with nothing but pleasure as he fucked your face. He glanced down with hooded eyes to meet your own, and the sight of your pretty angelic mouth stuffed with his cock as you made eye contact with him nearly caused him to blow his load right then and there. But Felix didn’t want to waste a second of you like this. Because he'd almost died today. He'd almost died nearly every day for a very long time, and he didn't know if he would ever get the chance after tonight to have you like this again. And so, when you suddenly released his cock with a pop, he leaned down and pulled you back up by the arms. 

His touch was gentle. 

His tone wasn’t.

“I’m going to fuck you now, and you’re not going to make a sound. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?” He spoke down to you, as if he already knew that you wouldn’t be able to oblige.

“Y-yes” you somehow managed to get out. And he wasted no time in lifting you back onto the crates, his strength evident as his muscles flexed. 

You steadied yourself before spreading your legs for him as wide as the cramped space would allow. You ran your eyes up and down his naked form, his defined abs, his toned chest, and his right hand as he brought it down to pump his cock a few times before aligning it with your dripping core.

“Please…” you panted under your breath as he smeared your arousal with his tip. And your desperate plea was all he needed to give in, sinking into your aching entrance and bottoming out inside of you with a carnal mroan. You gasped, reaching forward to pull him closer. He wrapped an arm around your back, slamming the other against the wall behind you. His head fell to your neck and your legs wrapped around him as he began to rhythmically move his hips. 

Filthy sounds filled the space as he rutted into you, and in that moment it was easy to let yourself go completely. To let him take you however he pleased, in whatever way he pleased. Because you were safe with Felix, here, like this, when it was just the two of you. He made you feel like just a person. Without a past to run from, without a burden to shoulder. Just two careless young lovers who in another life might have stumbled across this very place seeking refuge. Who might have called it home for a while before leaving again together.

And this time was different from the first time on the rooftop as his hips slapped fervently against yours, hot skin against skin. Because of your earlier separation, tonight was more desperate, more needy, more primal. 

“Feels so good, Lix” you whined when he brought his hands down to tightly grip your waist, allowing him to fuck up into your swollen heat even harder. When your head fell back, he took it as an invitation to bring a hand up around your exposed throat, shoving his fingers into your mouth when you let out a strangled moan.  

"F-Fuck, princess-" he hissed, “you have to be quiet, be a good girl for me, yeah?” He squeezed harder at your throat when you cried out again but was instantly made into a hypocrite when you clenched around him and he let out a groan deep enough to vibrate the walls. 

His thrusts grew sloppy which told you he was just as close as you had been since the moment he'd laid a hand on you, and yet he still managed to hit the right angle every single time. Between his thick cock brutally pounding up into your drooling hole, low grunts against your ear, the sound of the crates thudding against the wall behind you and the risk of being caught at any moment, it all had you reaching your own climax faster than you could control. 

"So pretty all fucked out like this,” he growled, ”the world in the palm of your hand and here you are reduced to nothing by my cock. I should fuck you full, make the world mine too."

"Fuck, F-Felix, don't stop I'm close-"

“I know, baby," he groaned, "me too.” And you could feel the truth in his words because of how fucking hard he was, but before he could pull out you wrapped your legs around him tighter.

"Need your cum, please, fill me up. Please Lix make me yours."

"Shit-"

Your plea sent him over the edge. His cock throbbed where it was buried deeply inside of you as he pumped milky white ropes of cum into your cunt. A deep groan that was far louder than any of the moans he had scolded you for fell from his lips, and as your own orgasm took over you buried your face in the sweaty skin at his neck. Holding onto him to ground yourself when your vision went white as you sobbed out his name repeatedly.

Heavy breathing and light whimpers from both of you were the only sounds that filled the air after the harsh string of low curses that fell from his lips.

After a moment, when you began to come down from your high and Felix stopped twitching inside of you, you unwrapped your shaking legs from his waist and dropped down from the crates. He helped to steady you on your feet, and the gravity of what you had just done set in as you felt his hot cum begin to trickle down the inside of your thigh. 

Fuck 

Fuck fuck fuck-

Felix reclaimed your attention when he leaned in to place a breathless kiss to your lips. You jumped when the cool metal of the rings on his fingers made contact with the sensitive skin at the inside of your thighs when he put a finger between them to swipe some of his cum away. He brought it up, smearing his release against your bottom lip before you took it into your mouth and licked it clean.

"That can never happen again,” he murmured, his eyes intently focused on where his finger had disappeared into your mouth.

He might have been referring to the sex, but you were fairly certain it had more to do with the fact that by spilling every last drop of his cum inside of you he had just put both of your lives in substantially more danger. Because if Felix got you pregnant, the repercussions would be catastrophic.

"This, us is…it can’t..” He trailed off. 

“I know.” You glanced up to take in his disheveled appearance. His long hair a mess, sweat on his forehead, lips puffy and swollen.  

“Never again,” you whispered, and it was at that moment that Felix realized he was never going to be able to get over you. That he would belong to you until he took his last dying breath. 

And it wasn’t until you met his eyes that he understood just how selfish that made him. 

How badly he had screwed up. 

Because Felix had made the fatal mistake of allowing you to develop the same feelings for him, and he wanted to protect you from the sadness in your eyes when you looked up to him with silent understanding that you would never be able to be together. Not in the way you wanted to be, not without consequences. Felix wanted to shield you from everything in this world that could hurt you, including himself. Especially himself. He wanted to protect you from his own selfish desires more than anything, but the situation between the two of you had begun to spiral far beyond his control.

And the damage was already done. 

Felix led you by the hand to the end of the hallway where he lightly pressed on the door to one of the rooms that Hira had pointed out to you earlier. When you stepped inside, the floorboards creaked loudly underneath your feet. You could make out shapes through the darkness but it was difficult to tell which of the boys were in the room you had just entered. 

You followed Felix, taking extra care to step over the sleeping form at your feet, as he led you to an unoccupied space in the corner. He shook off his leather jacket and pulled you down with him. Folding the jacket, he set it on the ground next to you and you immediately undid his actions, unfolding it enough so that there was room for his own head to be cushioned by the worn out fabric as well. You lie down facing each other, trailing your eyes up and down the features of his face, bringing a hand up to his hair, tracing along the sharp line of his jaw, while he looked at you with painful longing that you would never have been able to put into words. Only a feeling, in a stolen moment that you had so selfishly claimed for yourselves. But you understood everything that it meant.

"y/n?" His voice cascaded through the silence and the use of your name, his use of your name, tugged painfully at your chest.

“Yeah, Lix?” You responded, tracing your fingers along a patch of freckles underneath one of his eyes.

“I’m glad you’re okay too.” He spoke so faintly underneath his breath that you weren’t even sure you had heard him right until you met his gaze. The look he gave you absolutely shattered your heart, and you forced yourself to hold back the words that you wanted so desperately to say to him in response. You watched in silence as his heavy eyes closed while you combed through his hair, kissing him gently once more when his breathing steadied and you were certain that he had fallen asleep.

Don't let me love you.

It was quite a simple request, really. Or at least it should have been. You should have been able to do it, and yet you could literally feel your promise rip to pieces with every kiss, every touch, every breath you took in every moment you spent next to him like this. Moments that you burned into your memory because you were afraid they would be your last. 

I'm sorry, princess.

"I'm sorry too, Lix." You whispered.

Sorry you couldn't keep your promise. Sorry you hadn't tried harder. 

Sorry there was nothing you could do to stop the time from slipping away. Sorry you couldn't make it stop. 

You fell asleep shortly after he reached for you, subconsciously pulling you into his chest. You breathed in his scent and it eased every aching muscle in your body. In that moment you were his, and he was yours, and that was enough. Even if you would never be able to belong to each other for more than a single night at a time. Just for tonight, it was enough. Because eventually, one way or another, you knew that your past would catch up to you. You’d begun this journey knowing from the start that the future had never really been yours to claim. Knowing that that your time with Felix was just as limited as your freedom. Because as someone had told you once, the problem with time is that it is a merciless force. No matter who you are, no matter where you come from, one way or another it always runs out. 

Part 6 coming soon...

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