#here’s an easy one: Nick’s last name is Bishop

[nat-without-a-g]

I FUCKING FORGOT BILL HAD A CANON LAST NAME I am a clown. Thx for ur input tho :3 I like some of urs :D

Of course! I threw in my input for your L4D2 names too! It’s clear you put a lot of effort into these and I commend you for it!!! A+!!!

[plaidbooks]

A Solo Act

A/N: Listen, did I see the assassin prompt and instantly think AU? Well, yes, I did. So this is an assassin AU. It’s a Nick Amaro x reader fic, and covers the Assassin square in @adarafaelbarba​ moodboard bingo!

P.S. this takes place in “olden” times, not modern (I know the moodboard is more modern/has guns, but it’s the dark feeling I wanted). Also, it starts with Nick’ pov, which is why it’s third person before switching to second.

Tags: both Nick and reader are assassins, so there’s going to be murder (but nothing in detail this chapter)

Words: 1649

Taglist: @witches-unruly-heart​  @beccabarba​  @thatesqcrush​ @itsjustmyfantasyroom​ @permanentlydizzy​ @ben-c-group-therapy​  @infiniteoddball​ @glowingmess​ @whimsicallymad​ @lv7867​ @storiesofsvu​ @cycat4077​ @alwaysachorusgirl​  @glimmerglittergirl​ @joanofarkansass​  @berniesilvas​​

Nick Amaro was the premiere assassin; he worked alone, and he always got his target. It didn’t take long for all of the dark underbelly of the city to know his name, and then the contracts lined up. He was fond of using daggers for close combat, a kodachi sword for long range. Sure, he knew how to use other weapons—an assassin trains with a variety, just in case. Plus, he’s had some harrowing adventures before, where he had to know how to shoot an arrow, or tie a strong knot, just to survive. But something about the blade was comforting to him.

Today’s target was an easy one, though; the Bishop in the South quadrant of the city. He was notoriously corrupt, taking money from whoever could bribe higher. He was also notoriously lazy, which is why he was such an easy target. All Nick had to do was sneak passed the guards, something he regarded as his specialty.

Soon enough, he was in the interior of the building, heading for the Bishop’s lavish bedroom. The guards that were usually posted outside his door were switching out; pairs of guards did a full-floor sweep every hour, and the two new guards would be coming to take their places in around five minutes. Plenty of time to kill a Bishop and escape—his body wouldn’t be found until supper, and Nick would be long gone.

But as he approached, the door to the bedroom opened, and a woman came out. Dressed in a dark tunic and slacks, Nick was able to recognize another assassin. The bonus dagger in her hand was another dead giveaway, as she quickly wiped the blood from the blade with a cloth. She stopped as she noticed Nick, though, her eyes hard.

“Did you just kill the Bishop?” he asked in a hush, sizing her up.

She, too, looked him up and down, judging. “I did.”

“That was my target.”

“Don’t be so slow next time, then.”

He grit his teeth in annoyance, and she went to push passed him. But he grabbed her shoulder to stop her. In an instant, his arm was bent behind him, his face pushed up against a wall. She pushed her whole body against him, whispering, “never touch me again,” into his ear before backing off.

Nick whipped around to face her, but found that the blade she had been cleaning at his throat, and he relaxed against the wall. He gave her an impressive glare, and she shot one right back.

“This was my contract. Don’t be mad at me because you took too long to get here,” she hissed.

He felt his face redden in anger. “Who even are you?”

“You’ll know my name soon enough,” she replied, smirking.

Nick opened his mouth to respond when there was a shout of “freeze, intruders!” to the right. Both the woman and Nick looked at the guards quickly advancing before she sheathed her dagger.

“Let’s see if you���re slow escaping, too,” she said, grinning. And then she was running, Nick directly behind her before he split off, heading for a window.

***

Every assassin in the city had heard of The Great Nick Amaro. You scoffed; as if. He wasn’t that great. Ever since you had run into each other in the Bishop’s palace, you set out to show that you were just as good as him. You ran into each other a handful of times over the months, usually just after one of you had completed the contract. Other times, you would show up at a target’s place, only to find them dead, with Nick’s signature rose petal left on them. He was beginning to really annoy you.

But at least you were making a name for yourself, the contracts slowly trickling in. You had only recently started taking contracts within the main city. Your parents were both a part of guilds before they retired, and they had trained you since you were old enough to walk. You were the best assassin in the North…at least until your parents both passed away. No longer wanting to stay in the home that reminded you so much of them, you moved to the biggest city in the middle of the kingdom. There was enough work there for any street rat that needed to make a quick buck, but only the elite would make a living wage. And you planned on not starving.

Contracts were hard to come by at first; you basically had to start all over again. Plus, there were assassin guilds in every sector of the city. Most contracts went to them, depending on the target. A bigger army meant the contract would almost always be completed. With solo assassins, like you and Nick, it was more for the benefit of stealth than just getting the job done. The biggest pro with solos, though, was that there was less paperwork, and it was less likely that the person paying up would be stabbed as they left the guild’s hideout. The biggest con, however, was that there was no guarantee that they wouldn’t be captured, the contract remaining uncompleted, with no one else to pick it up. Plus, there was no promise to not follow the contractor home, in hopes of “negotiating” more money, with the threat of violence or worse.

But only lowlife scum did that, assassins who killed for fun rather than for a job. You—and you assumed Nick—were in it for the money. You wanted to live a halfway decent life, not out there begging on the streets for your next meal. If you had to kill some shitty politician to get there, then what’s one less dirtbag in the kingdom?

 **********************

You had been watching the home of some councilman for the past three days, learning the ins and outs of it. Finally, you had gained all the information you needed; you were ready. There was a servant’s entrance on the side of the building. You strapped on two daggers—one to each leg—and had a third up your sleeve as you approached. You had stolen rags that dared call themselves cloths last night, and you felt slightly awkward out of your professional assassin’s gear. But the disguise was worth it as you headed in.

You stopped by the kitchen, unnoticed, and grabbed a jug. You filled it with water, then left, heading for the councilman’s bedroom. Your simple cover was bringing a refill of water to his room as he slept, but it was unneeded; servants were basically shadows. No one paid you any attention.

Gently, you opened the bedroom door, slipping inside before closing it. The councilman was fast asleep in his bed, snoring softly, his face illuminated by the moon outside the window just past his bed, on the wall opposite you. You grinned; this would be your easiest target yet. But you only took one step before you froze. Movement by the window caught your eye, and your eyes slowly traveled from the sleeping face to the window just beyond. You pulled the dagger from your sleeve.

What you had saw from the corner of your eye was a hand coming through the window, clutching the bottom. Then a face appeared as you recognized it was someone scaling the wall outside. Your expression hardened as you also recognized the face.

Nick let out a huff as he pulled himself through the window. It wasn’t until he got to his feet that he noticed the servant girl was no servant at all, his eyes wide as he saw you.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he whispered harshly.

You put the jug of water down carefully before shooting him a glare. “I’m here to do a contract. Why are you here?” you breathed back

“To kill the councilman! Obviously!”

“This is my target, my contract!”

“Fuck you it is! I’m the one that scaled the wall—”

“Because you’re too stupid to use a door!”

Both of your voices rose in anger as you argued, and the councilman eventually woke. He sat up, looking first at you, then at Nick, eyes wide with fear. You and Nick were frozen, the three of you staring at each other before the councilman yelled “guards!”

Quick as lightening, the dagger left your hand. It flew through the air and found a home within his chest. But a second dagger hit almost the same time as yours, and you turned to find Nick’s arm outstretched.

“I got him first,” you said.

He scoffed. “You must’ve blinked; I struck first.”

“Bullshit—”

The door behind you exploded open, and you didn’t think twice, relying on instinct. You bolted for the window, breezing past Nick, and jumped. The house was only two floors; you knew this would hurt, but it wouldn’t kill you. You tucked and rolled as you hit the hard grass-covered ground, your arms taking most of the impact. But you didn’t think about it as you continued the roll to your feet, and you ran. Glancing back, you saw that Nick had followed suit, landing close to where you did, but running in a different direction.

Once safely back in your hideout, you punched a wall, ignoring the dull ache in your hands and arms. This wasn’t the first time Nick appearing had led to a quick getaway, and you were sure it wouldn’t be the last. Couldn’t he just leave you alone? Retire? Or at least take different jobs than you? You hated him, hated his easy smile, his deep brown eyes. Hated his perfect jawline, his muscular frame. Hated how sarcastic he was, how well he bounced off you. You hated how he flirted, hated that you wanted to know what kissing him would feel like, his body pressed to yours. You hated that you were falling for him.

[ivarthebadbitch]

Strange things can happen

Chapter 7 summary: Aldreda and Ivar have a cultural exchange. Ivar hatches a plan of his own.

Canon divergent, everybody lives, arranged marriage AU after 4x14. Read this chapter on Ao3.

Previous chapters: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

On Ao3: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6]

Pairings: Ivar x OC, Ivar vs. basically everyone

Warnings: None

Word count: 1856

Notes: I 100% made up the “cultural” stuff in this chapter, don’t get mad at me.

Tagged: @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @nukyster-blog @bae-roman @adhdnightmare (let me know if you would like to be tagged)

CHAPTER 7: Maybe someday

With the majority of the Mercian rebels either killed, captured, or fled, a treaty skewed heavily in favor of Wessex was swiftly drawn up and signed by the victorious and defeated parties. Aldreda’s father was clearly pleased with the turn of events, and he allowed her, Aethelred, Alfred, and Ivar to witness the signing. Afterwards, he hugged Aldreda and her brothers and even gave Ivar an awkward pat on the shoulder.

As everyone else began packing up camp outside to return home, Aldreda and Ivar lingered to look at the treaty. “So that’s it, then?” Ivar asked. He turned the piece of parchment sideways and frowned. “This chicken scratch is the agreement between Wessex and Mercia? A good rain would wash the ink right out. Or I could tear it in half. And then...no more treaty.”

She rolled her eyes. “Please don’t. My father is already upset with you.”

“I just think it is a stupid way to make an agreement. It’s just parchment. It doesn’t mean anything.”

She took the treaty out of his hands in case he changed his mind and decided to tear it up. Or eat it. “So how would your people do it, then?”

“Easy. You make your agreement and swear an oath, and then you perform a sacrifice so that the gods will be witnesses to it and show favor. Usually a goat.” He regarded her thoughtfully and then shook his head. “Well, I see the problem. You Christians don’t do sacrifices. How does your god know when you make an agreement?”

“Maybe He reads it over later,” Aldreda said dryly. “The whole reason to write it down and sign it is to record the details of the agreement so that all parties can be held to account if they break it. What happens if you make an agreement with someone, take an oath, perform a sacrifice, and later on the other person claims that you agreed to something else?”

Ivar shrugged. “Challenge him to single combat for lying. Then you kill him and take his land and his wife as your own.”

“Ah. Of course,” she said. “Well, then, what about us? You and I made an agreement, but we did not perform a sacrifice as your people would do, so your gods don’t recognize it. Nor did we write it down.”

“That is true.” He gave her a thoughtful look, even though she hadn’t been entirely serious. “So what do you want to do about it?”

“Write it down,” she said on impulse, reaching for the quill and ink pot left on the table. She took her small prayer book out of her pocket and flipped to the blank final page. Near the bottom, she wrote in small, neat letters: Ivar and Aldreda have an agreement. She signed her name underneath and handed the quill to Ivar.

He took it hesitantly. “I can’t write,” he said.

She pointed out his name on the page. “Just try to copy this,” she told him.

He studied his name for a moment, frowning, and then he set the quill to the parchment and laboriously drew the letters. They came out crooked and wobbly, but it was undeniably his name, and she felt a sudden surge of pride. “It takes practice, but not so bad, right?” she said as she tucked the book back inside her pocket.

“No,” he said. He sounded a little surprised. “So, we wrote it down like you wanted. Now we should make a sacrifice.”

She arched an eyebrow. “I am not sacrificing a goat. I hope you will understand.”

“It doesn’t have to be a goat.” He pulled out a knife.

Aldreda hesitated, and he rolled his eyes at her. “Don’t look at me like that. What, do you really think I’d kill you? Right here in the middle of your father’s camp? Even if I wanted to, I’m not that stupid. We can use your knife if you want. I know you have one.”

She did have one, but that was beside the point. She watched as he nicked his index finger with a small hiss. Then he held out the knife to her, handle first, and after a moment she accepted it from him and followed suit. He took her hand and pressed their fingers together. It felt strangely intimate. She could feel her face turning red.

“There,” he said. “Now our oath is sealed in blood.”

He wiped his bloody finger on his pants while she pressed down on hers to stop the bleeding. “I thought you were going to tell me to lick your finger or something,” she joked. “Don’t you pagans drink blood?”

He looked up in surprise. “Oh, of course, we can do that too if you want.”

“Ah...no. That won’t be necessary. Thank you.”

                                                            ***

A plan began taking shape in Ivar’s mind in earnest as they made their slow and bumpy way back to Wessex. To make his way home to Kattegat, he would need somebody to help smuggle him many miles to the coast and get him on a boat. The only reason anyone in this place would do that would be for a substantial amount of money. So he needed to find someone greedy. Or, even better—someone desperate. And beyond that, he needed a bribe, since his fellow conspirator would not be satisfied with empty promises. He would want to see payment upfront. Something valuable enough to make it worth the risk.

His eyes went to Aldreda’s gold necklace.

“You look thoughtful,” she said in an amused voice, and he almost jumped. Though they had started this trip to Mercia bickering, at some point along the way he could feel something had changed between them. It made him a little uneasy that he was beginning to actually like her company, and that she seemed to like his more and more. But he couldn’t allow that to be a distraction.

“That priest your father sent to teach me,” he said. “Father...Wilfred, I think. Why did Aethelwulf choose him?”

“I suppose because he knows your language,” she said with a shrug.

“Not as some sort of punishment for him, then.”

“Well, now that you say that…” She frowned and then leaned forward and lowered her voice, even though it was just the two of them in the carriage. “There was a scandal a few months back. Father Wilfred and a few other priests were caught gambling using church funds. My grandfather and the bishop decided to be merciful because his skill in Norse and in Frankish is useful, but he had to pay back the funds he had stolen, which I believe was a substantial amount. It is possible that teaching you is also part of his penance.”

Perfect. Ivar forced himself to keep his expression neutral. He couldn’t give her any hint of what he was planning to do. “I would like to continue my lessons with Father Wilfred,” he said. “I want to know more about your religion.”

Aldreda stared at him in surprise, and for a moment, he thought she would see right through his subterfuge. But then she unexpectedly gave him a warm smile. “I will tell my father; he will be pleased to hear it.” She added almost shyly, “And I am pleased to hear it too.”

He blushed and looked away, unable to stop himself. She looked happier than he had ever seen her in the past several weeks since they had married. 

“Oh, but Ivar—” she said—had she called him by his name before now?—“don’t torment the poor priest like you did last time. If you want some parchment to gnaw on, I’m sure we can find some scraps around.”

She was actually teasing him. Somehow, he didn’t mind. He rolled his eyes at her but smiled back. “Fine. I promise.”

Aldreda leaned back in her seat and gave him an almost hesitant look. “Will you tell me about your home?” she asked shyly. “I’ve never been outside of Wessex, except for this trip.”

“Kattegat?” He took a moment to think about what to say. “The city is on the edge of the bay, surrounded by mountains. It was small when I was born, not much more than a fishing village—that was before my father became king. When I was a child, of course, I thought it was the entire world. Now it’s much bigger and merchants come from all over to sell things. You see all kinds of people there, not like here.

“It gets cold in the winters, but in the great hall where my parents sit, it is always warm,” he continued. “Everyone gathers in there for meetings and feasts. In the summer, I would go with my brothers to the hunting cabin in the mountains to fish and hunt deer and rabbits. The forest there is so thick that even during the middle of the day, it always stays cool and dark…”

There was more he could tell her about Kattegat, like the excitement of the horns blowing when ships arrived in the harbor, or how the hills were carpeted with purple wildflowers in spring, or about the secret waterfall where he sometimes went swimming with his brothers. His heart suddenly felt tight in his chest as he remembered all the things he missed from home. He wondered what his family was doing without him and how long it would take before they no longer noticed his absence. It was almost unbearable to think about.

“Sometimes we sacrifice goats, that sort of thing,” he finally finished, just to make her laugh. “We’re heathens, after all.”

“I’d like to see it,” she sighed. “Not the sacrificing goats part, but everything else. Perhaps my grandfather will allow it someday.”

It was wishful thinking and they both knew it. He allowed himself to imagine what that would be like anyway. His brothers would tease them mercilessly and his mother would initially be suspicious since she had never approved of the marriage in the first place, but with time they would be won over. And perhaps Aldreda would like to see the ocean, since there was none at Ecbert’s court in Winchester. She was sure to be surprised by the size of the mountains. 

He shook his head. That was never going to happen. He was going to find a way to get home and that would be the end of it, and it would be better for both of them. She could marry again, this time to someone more suitable. She might be upset about it for a little while, and then she would move on. 

“Maybe someday,” he ended up telling her. “But you should improve your Norse first. Your accent is horrible.”

They didn’t speak much after that, but after a little while, she reached out and took his hand. Then, she hesitantly leaned forward and kissed him quickly on the lips. She sat back, blushing furiously—he was certain his face was as red as hers was—and looked away. 

Still, she kept holding on to his hand. He couldn’t quite bring himself to let go.

[venusandromedadjarin]

Proud Mary

Ch. 1, Masters of War

Chapter Song Recommendation: Proud Mary by CCR

18+, death, blood, injuries, descriptions of war, slow burn, 1.5k words

The computer lags as you click the mouse over and over but to no avail, the buffering sign just spinning on the screen. The door slams behind me, and you look over your shoulder, flashing Morales a smile, “Hey.” He nods, tucking his cover into one of the many pockets of his pants. Sighing, you turn back to the screen and give the mouse a few more clicks, hoping to shoot an email back home. 

Morales lets out a grumble, “I fucking hate technology.”

“Do you want some help?” You laugh and scoot your chair towards him, leaning over to type on the keyboard, your shoulder pressing into his. His body heat adds to your already flushed skin, but you don’t make a move to stop it. “Here,” you point towards the screen, an email draft up and ready, the cursor blinking in the body area. 

“There you are Alex.” You jump, turning towards the door before arranging your face into a smile for your fiancé. “You know better than to hang around the Delta Force guys.” The man next to you scoffs as you get up to leave with Beau without arguing. 

“Bye Morales, don’t fuck that computer up, it’s the only one that works,” he waves at you as you're steered from the room. As soon as you're out of earshot, you pull your elbow out of his grip. “Beau, seriously? You do realize I have to actually talk to people on this base in order to do my job, right?” 

He rubs a hand over his face, sighing, “Whatever. We’re rolling out in fifteen minutes. Get your vest and meet at the caravan.” Looking down at your boots, you wait for him to go on, but the sand kicks up as he walks away. The bunk is dark when you unlock the door since Brandt is still two cities over, covering whatever chaos is happening there. Quickly grabbing a harness holster, you shove your pistol into it before throwing a light jacket on, followed by a press band and cameras. Double and triple lens checks complete, you jog out to catch Beau. 

“Hey,” you grab his arm as he loads the back of the first vehicle, “I love you.” He kisses you on the cheek before motioning to get in the Humvee behind him. 

The sun is low on the horizon as the caravan drives back to the base, the sand clouding the sky behind the three vehicles as they crash through the dunes. “Hart, you better keep this a secret. You two, Bishop.” They both laugh as you lower the window and slide out to sit on the door, pointing your camera around to catch photos of the caravan. Inside, the comms buzz but the voice is too covered by static to be understandable. Bishop’s hand comes down hard on your ankle and pulls you inside just as Hart swerves and the vehicle in the front explodes. 

It all happens so fast, you barely have enough to time to process it as you’re thrown into the air, side by side with the guys as the vehicle rolls. 

Your throat burns with the encroaching smoke and the blood that’s pooling in your mouth makes you choke as you try to scream for Beau. There’s a vague sensation of someone grappling for your arm as you struggle to breathe around a sharp pain in your side. The last thing you remember before succumbing to the blackness behind your eyelids is Proud Mary by CCR blasting through the crackling radio.

————————————-

The lights are blinding when you finally open your eyes, a searing pain ripping up your torso. You feel hands on you, pushing you back down on the bed, but whoever it is isn’t visible yet. Blinking, you reach up and feel stitches near your hair line as the room starts to focus. The medical building was not a new sight to you considering how many times you disobeyed orders and threw yourself into danger for the perfect picture. The nurse next to you finally looks familiar and you groan, your mouth dry from the mixture of blood, smoke and sand from the wreck. “Hey, Joan.” 

“Alex, nice to see you’ve decided to join the land of the living,” she smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes as she checks your vitals. Finally, the older woman turns to you and takes your hand, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes. “Sergeant Kearnes…” The way she trails off makes your breath catch, a sob stuck in your throat. All you can do is nod and accept her awkward hug as she tries not to hurt your bandaged side. “You may have to stay here for observation for a little while, but I can have anything brought to you or… anything you need, you just tell me. The doctor will be in soon.” You nod against her uniform as she lets you go, the curtain falling shut behind her. 

Within a few minutes, a man comes in who you have yet to meet, but you can’t focus on what he’s saying so you nod along and try to look engaged. You vaguely understand him saying that you took a piece of shrapnel from the rollover in your abdomen, which nicked a lung and that you should probably take it easy. By the time he’s done talking to you, you’re dozing off because of your concussion. 

Either the searing pain of ripping a stitch open or the searing pain of your nightmare makes you thrash awake a few hours later. The lights are dimmer, and as you adjust, you’re suddenly aware that the familiar weight of your ring is missing on your left hand. “Fuck,” you whisper, quickly climbing out of bed and stumbling towards the cabinets near it. After throwing open a few of them, you locate your cameras which are scratched, but still working, and a small bag which has your ring. As soon as it’s in your hand, a huge of relief floods through you, but you hesitate to put it on. The simultaneous head rush from standing up too long makes your knees buckles and you mentally prepare for the pain of hitting the ground, but it never comes. A soft grunt makes you look up to see a semi-familiar face.

“Easy there, Costa.” You grip his shoulder as he goes to pull you to your feet and he grimaces at your touch. Leaning against your bed, you finally look him over and realize he has multiple bandages, one of which you grabbed and caused to turn red. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” Your voice is still hushed, careful not to wake up anyone else.

He looks at you before sticking out his hand, and it takes you a moment to realize he wants you to shake it. Your left hand grips the ring hard enough for it to dig into the skin of your palm, but you firmly grasp his hand with your right. “Just a few holes that needed patching. Took a few too many hits,” he chuckles and drops your hand. “I’m Santiago Garcia by the way, but the guys call me Pope.”

As you settle onto the bed, you laugh which makes you cough which then makes your lung feel like it’s being ripped open. Pope goes to the edge of the bed and thumbs through your chart, ignoring the offended look on your face. “How’d you know my name, Pope?”

“Everyone knows your name,” he tuts at something on the page. “How’d you manage to bust a lung?”

“First, not true. Second, I didn’t bust a lung- let me see that.” He hands it to you and watches as you read over it, the concussion finally giving way to some form of comprehension again. “Fuck, I’ve been out for three days?”

“Fish told me. He says hi.” Pope bangs around in a cabinet, ignoring your protests, before sitting down on the edge of the bed and peeling off the gauze on his shoulder. He hisses when the alcohol touches the wound before covering it again with a new pad.

“Who is Fish?” 

“Morales,” he doesn’t bother looking at you, just swings his bare foot as his leg hangs off the bed. 

You pinch the bridge of your nose, your head becoming foggy again, before realizing he means computer Morales. 

“Anyways, he says hi and that he’s sorry… everyone is, but Fish wanted me to tell you.” Before you can respond, Pope gets up to leave but stops at the divider curtain and looks back at you. His eyes are warm and he looks like someone who is full of passion. “Hey, I’m right on the other side of this if you need me. Don’t hesitate.”

Even with tears slowly rolling down your cheeks, you manage a small smile before the curtain drops behind him. Sleep doesn’t come again that night, but there’s a comfort in your chest that someone is so near you, even if it isn’t someone you know. You twist the ring between your fingers, rubbing at the silver and the big gem on it. 

By the time the morning sun begins to stream through the window behind you, you’ve deduced that you’re glad you won’t have to see the glint of it next time you take photos in the middle of the desert. 

Series Taglist: @amiedala​ @icanbeyourjedi​

[lenawin4]

an offer you can’t refuse

HOW WE DOIN ELLICK FANS?

I had this fic in my drafts halfway done, but after I watched that promo, I finished it in like, two hours. hope y’all enjoy. (also, may or may not contribute to the wave of 18x05/18x06 speculation fics. EXCITED)

summary: 

“It’ll be fun,” Nick said on Day Four, then looked at them incredulously. “What? You’ve never taken down the mafia before?” ft. the whole gang, some blink-and-you’ll-miss-it mentions of Tiva, and prank wars.

Or: Nick’s jealous, Ellie’s clueless, and the team dismantles a crime family.

rating: gen, k+

length: 3.4k

genres: fluff, minor angst, romance

read on ffn | ao3

So Ellie’s in her corner of the bullpen, and Nick can’t stop looking at her. That’s how it all starts.

She’s wearing one of her cashmere sweaters, and they’ve been working this case for so long that her outfit is three days old. The bags under her eyes can’t be hidden by makeup and the curls in her hair have started to flatten. She has that crease in between her eyebrows that warns him not to bother her with a stupid joke, but that’s never stopped him before.

Ellie’s phone rings, so he freezes in the middle of sauntering over to her, halfway through the bullpen. It’s magic: her eyes widen slightly; the crease disappears; a slow smile spreads, then a grin.

The corners of his mouth start to slip upward, but he fights it down because McGee is at his desk. He’s talking to the local PDs, spelling out one of the long Italian names they’re trying to pin on something, and Tim is eyeing him like a hawk.

“Mark?” Ellie shouts into the phone. 

Who?

“Gimme a sec,” Ellie points to her phone and mouths, I have to take this, sorry, and Nick is left gaping at the back of her head as she runs to the break room.

-

That happens on Day Six. A recap:

Dead sailor in a drive-by shooting in Bethesda. Grab your gear.

There was cocaine underneath the bed and piles of cash in the closet in the sailor’s apartment.

McGee traced a bank account in the Caymans to a Joey DiGiorno, as in, It’s-not-delivery-it’s-DiGiorno’s.

“Do you think he has a cousin named Domino’s?” Ellie asked; and —

For the fifth time this month, Nick realizes that he’s in love with Ellie Bishop.

Joey does not have a cousin, but he does have a criminal record and an uncle who happens to be the DC/Virginia/Maryland leader of the DiGiorno Family. 

“Wow, two states and the capital city,” said McGee. “Impressive.”

On top of Nick’s To Do List - Get Gibbs everything on this guy: records, cars, girlfriends, other nieces and nephews, etc., etc.

“It’ll be fun,” Nick said on Day Four, then looked at them incredulously. “What? You've never taken down the mafia before?”

-

McGee follows the money to a nightclub in DC (“Do they serve pizza?”; “Nick, please.”), but there’s no way to know when or how the drugs are smuggled into the building, which can only mean one thing: stakeout time.

Stakeouts are the worst. Stakeouts mean unlimited time in a confined place with nothing better to do, the uncomfortable silence of Nick and his thoughts and the little place in his head that teeters between sixteen different names and a glass jar of lake water that hides on the shelf of his apartment.

Right now, a stakeout is the best thing that could ever happen to him.

So, Mark. He can’t exactly Boyle his way into this, not after Bishop nearly chewed his head off because he cancelled her date. 

It’s not helping that Bishop keeps smiling at her phone every two hours, and semi-aggressively types out a text in all caps and extra exclamation marks. (He watches the way her fingers move. He knows those are exclamation marks. Like, at least ten of them.)

“Didn’t know dates liked it when you yelled at them all the time.”

“What?” Ellie says, not looking up from her phone.

He puts his feet up on the desk a little too harshly. Ellie wrinkles her nose.

“What could possibly be more important than this very, very interesting stakeout right now? Don’t you see there’s a hooker in front of the club and it’s barely noon? We should report it to Gibbs.”

There’s that sarcastic laugh that’s reserved for him, a quip about not being able to afford her, then back to the invisible Mark he’s heard nothing about.

-

To: ninja lady, 11:59

hey on a stakeout w El. what should i do

To: big wuss, 12:05

prank war. worked for us.

To: ninja lady, 12:06

i’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not

-

He tells her he’s buying fast food and chips a few blocks away. He asks the cashier for an extra paper bag and places a spring-loaded glitter bomb from the Dollar Tree at the bottom.

-

To: ninja lady, 14:05

success

To: big wuss, 14:07

ha! watch your six. revenge is tasty, no?

To: ninja lady, 14:09

i think you mean vengeance is sweet, but check with your husband

-

Nick returns from a bathroom break and peers left and right. Nothing in the room has changed: Ellie is still finishing the bag of fries. Her head is turned towards the window, and she’s glancing at her phone every few seconds. Maybe that’s an exaggeration, but he sort of doesn’t care. His chair hasn’t moved from the computer desk, and there are no booby traps outside the bathroom door or in the hallway.

Okay. The coast is clear.

“Hey, maybe you should check your face one more time, I think you still have glitter — ”

Splat.

His chair explodes in a tidal wave of green and red paint, splattering all over his jeans — gross, it feels so cold — and his leather jacket. 

When he looks up, Ellie’s beaming at him from behind her phone, fry stuck in her mouth like a cigarette, green paint smeared across her cheek like evidence. Mercilessly, she sends the video to McGee, Kasie, and Tony.

-

To: big wuss, 17:25

I’m disappointed.

To: ninja lady, 17:29

yeah, yeah, laugh all you want

this sucks

To: big wuss, 17:30

Not just the stakeout, I presume?

To: ninja lady, 17:32

who the hell is Mark

she keeps texting him

it’s distracting me

To: ninja lady, 17:35

you know, from work

To: big wuss, 17:40

Oh, Nicholas.

-

(Across the Atlantic, in a small apartment in Paris, a married couple compares recent messages.

Ziva clicks her tongue. “I think he might be a bigger wuss than you, Tony.”

“I had better pranks than this guy, okay, at least give me that.”)

-

There’s a crowd of seamen lounging around the club. Their voices send pinpricks into his brain, and he can smell the alcohol from the second floor of this building. The bouts of laughter and shouts are interrupted by crunching. Next to him, the foul smell of artificial cheese surrounds Eleanor Bishop. Her fingers are coated with orange dust. Her eyes are laser-focused on the group of men, arms around each other, starting to sing the first bars of “Piano Man”. She licks her lips, and a bit of orange dust is left over at the edge of her mouth. She brings her fingers to her lips to lick them clean.

Nick’s mouth is suddenly dry.

Okay, okay, he needs to focus. Focus. It’ll be easy.

When he finally turns away, the hooker is grabbing one of the men by his tie, who tries to pull away. He rolls his eyes, but before Nick can say, “Playing hard to get, are we?”, the sailor is handing her a thick wad of cash. It’s exchanged for something thickly wrapped in saran plastic wrap, and he jolts out of his seat.

“It was the hooker!”

-

Nick did not know running that quickly in high heels was possible.

-

Ellie’s phone dings three times past his limit on the way to the interrogation room. The sound grates against his ears and his eyes can’t roll further up his socket. She doesn’t even notice.

They’re behind the glass, waiting for McGee to question her, when Gibbs walks in. He takes one look at the green paint on Ellie’s cheek and sees the same paint on Nick’s jeans.

Before Ellie can try to explain, Nick announces, “Gibbs, I told Ellie to call you about the hooker hours ago and she didn’t listen to me!”

“That is not true!”

“Yes, it is!”

-

“Wait, so we’re just going to give up?” Ellie’s hair is still slightly frazzled from tackling the suspect down, strands loose on her forehead and around her ears. She ran up and down four flights of stairs to catch her, but they’ve been given an order to push the case to another day with another lead. “What about Sugar Honey?”

“We can’t catch anyone higher up the food chain if she doesn’t consent to wearing a wire.”

“So sneak one on her!” The Director raises his eyebrows.

“Bishop.” She snaps around, eagerly awaiting Gibbs’s cowboy orders. “Go home. Get some sleep.”

“What? I can’t believe you’re actually agreeing with this.”

“Ellie,” Nick says, coming to her supposed rescue. There’s a flicker of hope in her eyes, and he hesitates to kill it. But he has to. He stands up, and immediately yelps and whines. Guiltily, he savors the look of concern she gives him. “Actually, could you drive me home? I think I twisted my ankle when we were chasing down Sugar Honey.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Ellie pouts. It maybe makes his stomach flutter, which is stupid, because Nick doesn’t feel things like that.

“You know me. Stoic face and all. I could get stabbed and none of you would know.”

“You know, that’s not a good thing.” She grabs his car keys from his jacket and puts his arm around her shoulders.

Bishop throws a stern look to the Director and Gibbs. Their bosses look half-confused, half-amused; Nick avoids Gibbs’s knowing look. “Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She walks him to his car. He feels warm and lonely all at once, because her phone rings two more times.

Nick plops down on the passenger seat, and Ellie wrenches the car into ignition, and says with no small amount of strife, “I know you’re lying and I’m either taking you to your apartment or back to the club. Your choice.”

Um. “Hey, let’s not do anything dangerously impulsive here.”

“Me? Impulsive? What about you?”

“What? When have I ever done anything dangerous or impulsive?”

“You stole a truck and totaled it when you were chasing down a suspect last month. Gibbs was already waiting on another block to cut him off.”

“Well, at least I didn’t get hurt.”

“You had a concussion and I had to wake you up every hour that night.”

They’re already out of the Navy Yard, almost ten over the speed limit, and going in the opposite direction of his apartment.

“Okay, I’m sorry I lied about my ankle. But Bishop.” He’s not sure how to say it, so what leaves his mouth is a sound of frustration. “You can’t dismantle the mafia with just this one case. These things take time. One Sugar Honey confession was the best we could do today. And that’s okay. But we’ll catch another one tomorrow, or maybe next week, and the week after that.”

The car slows down; Ellie’s pout becomes more pronounced. The sudden U-turn makes him clutch at the dashboard and pray for his life.

“Fine,” Ellie says. “But — ”

“Tomorrow, I will help you possibly arrest a drug dealer, that will lead us to the drug supplier, that will lead us to the boss.”

She nods, hands tightly holding the steering wheel. There’s glitter in her hair and streaks of paint on her jeans. They’ve barely slept in the past two days, driving each other insane. 

“I can take the couch for a few hours and then we’ll be on our way. We both need to rest.”

Ellie doesn’t reply.

“If you don’t crash at my place, I’ll call Gibbs and tell him you’re going back to the club.”

Ellie protests for the rest of the car ride, but Nick doesn’t budge an inch.

-

The stakeout resumes peacefully. Gibbs and Vance were right: the dealers are spooked and no deals occur for the next week.

Bishop doesn’t spend every single moment on her phone, so at least there’s that. He can’t deny the twinge of longing every time he sees her eyes brighten at the sound of another text.

Still, even that is nothing compared to the ache he feels when she yawns and rubs her eyes. It’s the type of case that makes her want to prove herself, to risk everything to accomplish her ambitions, to run after something without a thought of the consequences. He knows the feeling. He has that feeling every time a kid is involved.

So he triples the bags of junk food on the floor of the moldy apartment. He lets her rest a little more when it’s his watch. She curls up in the blanket she stole from his apartment and sighs in her sleep.

They’re both exhausted, so their prank war grinds to a halt. Nick’s exasperated, and he doesn’t reply to any of Ziva’s requests for updates. Ellie’s smile is something admirably distracting and infuriating, especially when it’s not directed to him.

-

Here’s the thing, though: Nick can’t imagine when Ellie had time to go on a date with a Mark that he’s never met or heard of in the past few weeks. Before Operation Take DiGiorno’s to Prison, they had back-to-back murders that took a total of two weeks out of their lives. Before those, Nick went to pilates with her for three consecutive weekends. So whoever this Mark is, might be special to her. Someone she wants to keep to herself. Someone she wants to talk to all day, someone she wants to smile and laugh with, someone she wants to be with. It’s that simple.

It’s just not Nick.

-

The seaman in Interrogation still isn’t talking, but at least there’s something in the cocaine.

“Local PD’s been digging up everything they can about the drug ring for months, and this little sample here matches their signature packaging and purity. But I’m telling you, whoever hired their chemists needs to do a better job, cause this stuff ain’t pure at all.”

“Can we connect it to Joey or the uncle?”

“I’m so glad you asked. We, in fact, do have a way to arrest them, thanks to Kasie — ”

“Don’t talk about yourself in the third person.”

“Okay, someone’s grumpy! DiGiorno’s olive oil company bought bulk chemicals, which are being delivered to this address. We’ve got dimethyl sulfoxide, tetrahydrofuran — ”

“English, Kasie.”

“Coke. They’re making coke. Trust me, those materials are not extra virgin.”

He grunts out a thanks and swirls around, ready to leave.

“Woooaaahhh there, son.” Kasie holds her hands out in front of her to tame him. “What’s going on with you, Nicholas?”

“What? Nothing!”

“Okay. Then I guess it has nothing to do with you and your feelings.”

“What? Nothing’s up with Bishop and me!”

“I didn’t say anything about Bishop.”

“Okay,” Nick chuckles, searching for an exit route that may or may not involve rolling past Kasie in a very ninja-like manner before booking it out of the building. “You said something, I said something, now we’re both confused, and I gotta go now, bye!”

-

McGee’s hawk eyes peer at him when Bishop retreats to the break room again. It makes Nick squirm in his seat and try to pry his gaze away from her empty desk.

“Is something going on between you and Bishop?”

“Uh, no, why, did she say something?” He crosses his arms to quell the sound of his heart.

McGee scoffs. “I mean. You guys have barely talked since you came back from the stakeout.”

“Well. I don’t need to talk to her. All the time.”

“But you do.”

Nick makes a face. Bishop strolls back into the bullpen, carefree and light, and he shuts his mouth.

“What do we got?” Gibbs says, and McGee has no choice but to brush this under the rug.

-

It’s Day Ten, more accurately Night Ten, and they’re sitting in the car, driving to the warehouse where they’ll arrest Joey and his uncle. She’s wearing a vest and he has the urge to clean his gun before a shootout. But they’ll be fine.

He glances at her tied-up hair and the clench of her jaw. His hands tighten on the steering wheel, because he wants to hold her face in his hands and tangle his fingers in her hair. He wants to tell her something he can barely admit to himself.

She says nothing. The phone doesn’t ring. He keeps driving.

-

He forgets she has a vest on. He forgets everything, really, when he sees Ellie go down in the middle of the raid, and Joey starts running away. Gibbs yells at him to call an ambulance before he and McGee chase after the idiot who shot his partner.

Nick scrambles to her side, vision blurring, and he has more trouble breathing than she does when he reaches her. “Bishop, El, you’re gonna be okay, alright?”

Ellie groans as he slices her vest open. The bullet clatters off the Kevlar.

“Nick,” Ellie’s saying. “Nick, I’m fine.” His hands hover, barely brushing over her arms, neck, head — I have to check for concussion — and it does nothing to reassure him, until her hands fold into his. “Nick.”

She looks at him, mouth parted, cheeks flushed. Her ribs are probably bruised, if not broken. Her hands are the only source of stability; every other part of him is shaking.

“You’re alright.”

Ellie breathes out a heavy sigh; it shakes like his legs quiver, and he has to kneel next to her. “I’m alright.”

-

Along with the DEA, they confiscate every last bit of cocaine from the warehouse, effectively crippling the crime family’s major source of money. Joey rats on every aspect of his uncle’s business for a shorter sentence. As the EMTs are wrapping her ribs up, Nick holds his hand up for Ellie to slap and says, “We took DiGiorno’s to prison!”

He offers her his arm and a ride home. She graciously accepts, and the smile is his, again, for now.

But he can’t not say anything now. She almost — she almost. There’s nothing else to say about that.

So Nick says, “So, you’re going home to Mark today? You got a hot date?”

He’ll get over that lump in his throat, that spike in his pulse eventually. She’s alive, and he’ll be fine.

He doesn’t expect her to start laughing, only to be interrupted by a wince and a tender hand on her left side. “Nick, who do you think Mark is?”

“Uh.” There’s a dark hole of miscalculation, the feeling of falling down the cliff of Being Wrong. “Your hot new date you kept texting over the past, like, five days?”

Nick rolls his eyes. “Stop laughing, you’ll make your ribs worse.”

“It’s — ” Ellie takes a deep breath and pulls out her phone. She scrolls, and Nick’s about to say something about not wanting to read her love letters to Mark when:

Auntie Ellie, thanks for my birthday gifts! I miss you so much.

The voice can’t be older than five, with a light stammer and a lisp. Nick takes his eyes off the road to gape at a boy with two missing front teeth, and his heart both soars and sinks. Someone honks behind them, and he steps on the gas pedal, startled that he’s stopped at a green light.

“Well.”

“He turned four last week, and my brother’s been letting him call or text me videos every day. They’re stuck in Oklahoma and they miss me.” He can hear her shrug, the fabric of her jacket rustling against the car’s leather seat, but he keeps his eyes on the road. “I haven’t been home in almost two years.”

“I’m sorry.” It punctuates the silence that follows, leaving them both speechless, wondering, wishing.

“Were you jealous?” Ellie whispers.

“Yes.” He can’t stop himself. Not anymore. Nick floors the brake and looks at his passenger’s seat, red light shining on her, everything else dark and unimaginably lonely. “Yes.”

Ellie nods, then smiles. “Okay.”

-

They arrive the next morning together. McGee smirks at his phone. Kasie’s eyes switch between them, back and forth, before she raises an eyebrow and glares at Nick, threatening and protective. Gibbs says nothing. Nick smiles the whole morning, because he still tastes her lipstick on his teeth and feels her hair in his fingers.

-

To: big wuss, 10:20

Congratulations. You aren’t a bigger wuss than Tony.

To: ninja lady, 10:25

ha. thanks

for everything, i mean, i guess.

To: big wuss, 10:26

You’re very welcome, Nicholas.

fin.

[breanime]

Obey

I couldn’t help myself. I was gonna make this sexy, but then I ran out of steam. Lol, sorry

Part Two (steamy)

You were awoken by the slamming of a door. You sat up, rubbing your eyes. You heard voices downstairs, and you knew Miguel was home—and from the sound of his voice and the door slamming, you assumed he wasn’t in the best mood.

You laid back down, sighing. If he was in a mood, he would go straight to his office and stay there until the sun came up. And maybe even after that, depending on how bad his day had been… You didn’t really mind; you had spent your day shopping and wandering around town, and you were tired now. You had even had a nice dinner with the Reyes family at Felipe’s shop—after ditching your bodyguards for a few hours—and had a nice evening. Normally, you wouldn’t have been that rash, but you’d been bored out of your mind for the last few weeks; work had become predictable, Miguel was always gone, and you were getting sick and tired of bodyguards and curfews and lonely beds, so you took a risk. No harm, no foul. You closed your eyes, pulling your blanket up to your chin, knowing you’d be having another night of tossing and turning without Miguel at your side.

Then you heard his voice.

“What the fuck am I paying you for?!”

You sat up again, eyes wide. Miguel never raised his voice at home, and if he did, it was only when he was on the phone with one of his men. Breath held, you crept to your bedroom door and opened it a crack and listened.

“It won’t happen again, Mr. Galindo,” you heard your driver—Ramon—say. You pictured him wringing his hands, a habit of his when he was nervous. “It was completely my fault.”

“No,” Miguel said back, his voice low and angry, “It was all of your fault. She was gone for three and a half hours,” he said, “before you found her—no, before Nestor found her.”

Your eyes widened. You had no idea Nestor had followed you. He was supposed to be with Miguel on the other side—and then it occurred to you: they’d come home early and somehow Miguel found out you weren’t where you’d told him you would be… and he was pissed.

“You’re damn right this will never happen again,” Miguel said, and you realized his voice sounded closer… he was coming up the stairs. “Because if it does, at least one of your useless asses will be in my church pew.”

You scurried to the bed like a naughty child up past her bedtime, pulling the blanket around your shoulders and pretending to be asleep. You heard the door open, recognizing the sound of Miguel’s sure steps as he approached the bed. You listened as he took his shoes off, and you heard him unhook his belt and place it neatly on the hook on the back of the closet door. You waited to hear him undress, anticipating the sound of cloth hitting the floor, but you didn’t. Instead, you felt the bed dip, and you felt his hand on your cheek, then on your chin, then…

…on your neck.

“Wake up,” he ordered, his voice was tight, the anger barely constrained.

You turned, eyes wide. Miguel was glaring down at you. His button-up shirt was ruffled from where he probably ripped his tie off, and his dark eyes glittered in the low light. “Miguel,” you greeted him, already breathless.

“Sit up.”

You sat up, heart pounding with excitement. You and Miguel had argued before, of course, but you’d never defied him before, and you knew he wouldn’t approve of what you did today… though you hadn’t really planned on him finding out.

“Tell me what you did today.”

“I had dinner with Felipe,” you answered, knowing there was no use in lying.

“And who else?”

“Angel and EZ were there, too. And so was Bishop.”

“I don’t give a fuck about that,” he said, waving his hand in the air, “Do you know what could have happened when you ran off? The danger you put yourself in?”

“I was with Angel and EZ,” you repeated, “my friends, I was perfectly safe—”

Miguel’s hand shot out and wrapped around your throat again, pushing you down onto the mattress. His grip was tight enough to feel, but not enough to hurt you. “—You were safe with your guards,” he argued, his voice calm but his eyes enraged, “You’re safe with me. Do you know what I thought when I was told no one knew where you were?”

“I was safe,” you argued, feeling a tension build between your legs, “EZ and Angel—”

“—don’t say their names.”

“Miguel, I—”

“—Shut up,” his hand flexed on your throat, and you gasped at the feeling, your heart pounding, “Shut the fuck up and listen.”

You shut the fuck up and listened.

“You are my wife,” he said, hand still on your throat, “and I ask you to do one thing: obey. And you couldn’t even do that.” He hovered over you, his body on top of yours, his knees separating yours. “I shouldn’t have to rush home because my wife is out with the fucking MC.”

“Well you weren’t around,” you said back, glaring up at him, “so I had to find some other way to entertain myself.”

You watched Miguel’s eyes widen before he sat up, releasing your throat. “Is that… Is that what you were doing, mi amor? ‘Entertaining’ yourself?” His lip curled in a sneer. “For three and a half hours with the Reyes men?”

You sat up as well, pushing his chest. “You know that’s not what I was doing.”

“Oh?” He asked, taking your hand in his. “Do I?” He stood up, standing over the bed now, and you stared up at him. “Here’s what I know: I know that my wife snuck away from the protection I set up for her to have a secret meeting with men who smuggle drugs—”

“—your drugs,” you reminded him.

“—into Mexico for a living,” he finished, “and I know that you weren’t going to tell me about your little rendezvous, were you?”

“I…” You licked our lips. “I don’t…”

“You know this makes it hard for me to trust you, don’t you?” Miguel asked, his voice suddenly very calm.

“Nothing happened, Miguel,” you told him, “I just wanted to be around people who talk to me like a person, I wanted to just… not be alone for a while.”

Miguel sighed, putting his hands on his hips. “I know,” he said, “I know I’ve been gone a lot and working long hours, and… I get it. But you can’t just run off like that, mi reina, you know better.”

“I know,” you said, crawling over to the edge of the bed and looking up at him through your lashes as you sat on your hands and knees, “I’m sorry.”

Miguel’s fingers twitched on his hips, aching to touch you. “I don’t mind you spending time with your friends,” he said carefully, “even if your friends are… not my favorite people. But I need you to be safe, and I can’t keep you safe if you run from your protection.”

“I know,” you said again, sighing, “I’m sorry.” You reached up and ran your hand on his thigh, feeling the smooth material of his pants beneath your fingers. “How can I make it up to you?”

He smirked, and you felt yourself shiver. “Hm…” He ran a finger against your cheek. “…I think I’ve got a few ideas…”

“And what can I do,” you went on, sitting up and putting your hands on his shoulders, “to get you to go easy on Ramon and the others?”

“Oh,” he said, hands moving to grip your hips, “that’s gonna take a lot of you on your knees,” he kissed your nose, “and probably a few bruises as well, mi amor.”

You nodded, trying to keep the excited grin off of your face—and failing. “And some begging?” You asked.

“Oh, definitely some begging,” Miguel grinned, pushing you onto your back and pressing himself on top of you, “I’m going to teach you how to obey, my love.”

He kissed you then, and you knew that you were going to have a long, delicious night.

The next morning, when you woke up in his arms with a sweet, sweet soreness in your core, you knew that you still had a lot to make up for with Miguel, but you also knew that he was taking the day off to be with you, and he wouldn’t let you out of his sight the entire time. You made an effort to be more obedient with Miguel as the days went on—you understood his fear and need for control, and you really didn’t mind it. But when he was in and out of the house, working nonstop with barely enough time to give you a quick kiss as he went out the door, well…

…you sometimes had to nudge him in the right direction (read: between your thighs) by being just a teeny tiny bit disobedient…

…it always paid off.

*******************************************************************************************

Thanks for reading! Comments are always GREATLY appreciated!

Everything Taglist: @encounterthepast​ @jigsawlover10​ @gollyderek​ @charlylama​ @realduckvader​ @teacuplotus @whovianayesha  @lexxierave @loveintheroyalfamily  @fanfictionrecommendations-com​  @maxslime-blog @songforhema @lucielandss @themadhatter92  @christinawxxx @anabella-baby @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme @luminex3 @ashkuuuu @luckysstrikes @carlaangel86 @floralpeaceofmind @dylanobrusso @iaintnofurry  @ymariejp @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @mrsjaxtellerfan @holamor @drinix @rhabakoli @stories-you-wont-hear @king4thesirens @leahnicole1219 @evanlys19 @binbons-is-theloml @aikeia @bitch-imma-head-out

Nick Amaro/Miguel Galindo Taglist: @glimmerglittergirl @cococruz-mayansmc  

[theneverendingsoundtrack]

The Glory of Indulgent Music for Sad Saps

A couple weeks ago, John Mayer released this album bluntly titled Sob Rock. Judged by the cover above, I don't think it's too hard to guess what exactly is going on here, with its "dollar-bin-AOR" visual aesthetic. And starting up and turning on the opening track "Last Train Home," it sounds like it too. With its obvious nods to 70s and 80s soft rock styles, as well as his own signature sugary-sweet pop rock, John Mayer is not being subtle here. This is a break-up album, and you're going to feel this. And man, do I feel this.

I recently went through a break-up. A break-up that ended the first relationship I ever had in my life, at the ripe old age of 30. As a result, feelings that most people tend to experience for the first time in their teen years or early twenties, I felt for the first time as a person fully in adulthood. These emotions did not present themselves in a thoughtful, reflective, adult way. They manifested themselves as full-fledged teenage heartbreak. Of course, given I didn't fall into many of the cliche pitfalls of teenage heartbreak, but the feelings were there: direct and immediate.

While more "proper" break-up albums are certainly more poetic, more subtle, more nuanced, and more "artistic," none of them really ended up being what I was looking for to comfort me, whether it be Beck's Sea Change, Joni Mitchell's Blue, or Nick Drake's Pink Moon. I instead, confided in the famous sad-sappery of yacht rock. So when John Mayer comes along and releases an album calling back to several of these styles with the name Sob Rock, I was immediately interested.

I have to say, this album really does deliver for me. Yeah, I realize John Mayer isn't a "cool" musician, and yeah, I realize that there are probably "better" break-up albums out there, but I can't deny when something emotionally resonates with me. Partially, it's probably because this album's messages of heartbreak and hope for new love are laid out in such an obvious, easily digestible, and frankly ridiculous way. As someone who has repressed his emotions all his life and just learning to get in touch with them, Sob Rock delivers that good punch of sadness right where I need it; direct, easily digestible, and emotionally indulgent. Honestly, one of my favorite songs here, "Why You No Love Me" is so direct, indulgent, and ridiculous it just makes me think of that famous "Y U No" Meme.

And yet, I still love the song, not in spite of its ridiculousness, but frankly because of it.

Sure, I could sit here and talk about how this one song sounds like Dire Straits, or Don Henley, or Stephen Bishop if you look at it in a certain way and squint, but those retro call-backs are really more of John Mayer's way of cementing himself in the proud tradition of a “genre” that the guys at the Beyond Yacht Rock podcast dubbed as "Divorce-core:" aging rock stars making their sad sap AOR albums about their strained and failed relationships. And while it can be easy to poke fun at this kind of music, hey man, many of us have been there before, and that emotional resonance, no matter how direct and juvenile it may come across at times, has its value.

Because if/when you find yourself in that spot in life, letting those emotions live and breathe is really the only way to get through hard times of heartbreak. Holding them back only delays the healing process.

[wanna-be-bold]

Ellick drabble idea: Ellie's cousin comes to visit, chaos ensues. Make this cousin one she used to get into college spring break trouble with but they have respectable jobs now.

I hope you don't mind I changed it up a bit.

I’m taking a little bit of leeway here on when Ellie would’ve gone to college. Since Ellie’s a farm girl from Oklahoma I could totally see her rocking out to Carrie Underwood at a karaoke bar. 

“Lydia! Oh my gosh you’re here!” Ellie yelled as she opened the door, pulling her cousin inside and into a tight hug. “It’s been way too long!” 

“It really has Ellie! It’s so good to see you!” Pulling back, Ellie grabbed her suitcase and led them into the living room, sitting down on the couch.

“So tell me, how are you? How are Mark and the kids?”

“They’re great. Lily’s been having some separation anxiety since it’s the longest I’ve been away since she’s been born but Mark’s a great dad, he’s got everything under control.” Ellie smiled. She had only met her cousin’s husband a couple times but he was always a great man and Ellie was happy that Lydia had met him. It was one good thing to come out of their crazy college days. “So, enough about me, how are you? Anyone special in your life?”

“I’m good.” As much as she wanted to leave it at that and not broach the other subject, the look on her cousin’s face told her that wasn’t happening. “And no, there’s no one. Work takes up pretty much all of my time right now, there’s not much left for dating.”

“Oh come on Ellie. You’ve been divorced from that jackass for four years now. Besides, what about that coworker you always talk about?” Ellie choked on her water and took a moment to compose herself before talking. 

“Who Nick? No, we’re just partners and friends. That’s it.” 

“Girl, the way you talk about him all the time, there’s no way you’re just friends.” Rolling her eyes, Ellie quickly changed the subject and the two of them talked about family and work until they were both yawning and heading for bedrooms.

Saturday was spent sightseeing until supper when it was decided they would get take-out from Ellie’s favorite place and eat at her apartment since Lydia had to leave the next morning. 

Ellie had already changed into pajamas and was sitting on the couch waiting for Lydia so they could start some good, old-fashioned “girl talk,” when a familiar knock sounded at the door. Curious as to why Nick would be showing up at this hour, she pulled one of her brother's old sweatshirts over her tank top and padded to the door. 

“Nick hey, what’re you doing here?” His eyes swept over her as he took in the oversized, most likely men’s, sweatshirt that was barely covering what he hoped were shorts underneath before shifting to the two half-empty wine glasses on her coffee table. 

“I- I’m sorry Bishop. I uh, guess I should’ve called before coming over.” The look on his face could best be described as defeated and that’s when she noticed what he was holding - a box of most likely muffins from her favorite bakery, a bag of bacon brown sugar chips, and a movie they had been talking about watching. “I’ll just uh, give you these and let you get back to your date.”

“No!” Ellie’s hand reached out to grab his arm and stop him from leaving. “Nick no it’s, it’s not a date.” 

“Really? Cause from where I’m standing it sure-”

“Alright Ellie, first order of business: that partner of yours.” Ellie’s cheeks flushed scarlet and she cursed Lydia as Nick’s eyes widened. Lydia suddenly stepped into view of the door and she stopped mid-stride. “Oh Ellie I’m sorry! I didn’t know you had a date tonight! I can just go to a hotel.”

“No!” Ellie looked back and forth between her cousin and her partner, trying to figure out which one to address first. Finally she realised her door was still open and she pulled Nick inside, closing the door behind him. “This is my cousin Lydia. Lydia, this my partner, Nick.” 

Still stunned by this turn of events, it took Nick a moment to remember his manners before sitting down Ellie’s treats on her table and turning towards her cousin and holding out his hand. “Nice to meet you.” 

“You too.” Lydia shook his hand, sending Ellie a knowing glance that she just rolled her eyes at. 

“Well uh, I’ll head out, let you guys get caught up.” Ellie was ready to say goodnight when Lydia spoke up. 

“Nonsense! We’ve had all day to get caught up with each other. You should totally stay. Besides, I should get to know the man watching my favorite cousin’s back.” 

“Lydia!” Ellie whispered, lightly hitting her on the arm as she turned to Nick. “You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. We can reschedule movie night.” 

“I dunno this might be fun.” Nick sent a wink to Lydia, causing Ellie to roll her eyes but relented. 

“Okay fine, you can stay. But! Only because you brought me muffins.” Nick could only laugh as Lydia smirked and Ellie tried to ignore them, grabbing the box and getting settled on the couch. “Are you two gonna join me or am I gonna have to eat these by myself?”

“Like she would mind that.” Nick whispered, earning a laugh from Lydia.

“Hey I heard that!” He caught the pillow she threw at him, tossing it back to her as they rounded the couch, each taking one side and no one mentioning how close he sat to Ellie. 

“So tell me, what was Ellie Bishop like as a kid?” Ellie groaned as Lydia started talking and looked over at Nick. He was listening intently, like he was trying to memorize every word.

“... And then we decided that we should get up and do karaoke. Let me tell you, trying to belt out Carrie Underwood while drunk is not easy. Oh! And then there was the time Ellie thought it’d be a good idea to hack into the Dean’s list and change the spelling of her ex’s name. It wasn’t caught until it was published. She was good at covering her tracks so they could never trace it back to her but everyone knew she did it. And he definitely deserved it if you ask me. Did you tell him about the time we slashed the tires on-” 

“Okay.. I think that’s enough wine for you.” Ellie leaned over and grabbed the glass out of Lydia’s hand and sat it on the coffee table. Turning to Nick, he handed her the glass they had been sharing and she took a long drink. 

“Well, remind me not to get on your bad side B.” His tone was joking but his face had an air of seriousness to it and she had to look away. 

“Oh I don’t think it’s possible for you to get on her bad side Nick. I mean, she’s always talking about how great you are and-”

“And I think it’s time for you to go to bed.” Standing up quickly, she pulled Lydia up and behind her until she was in the spare bedroom and closed the door softly behind her. Coming back to the couch, she sat down across the sofa from Nick. “I’m sorry about her. It’s been a while since we’ve gotten to see each other and, well she can get a little carried away with the college stories.”

“Oh no, I enjoyed those. I had always wondered what a young Bishop was like and now I know.” Groaning at his enjoyment, she dropped her head in her hands before looking back up at him. 

“I promise I wasn’t that wild in college all the time.”

“I dunno B, it’s nice to know you had a wild streak too.”

“Just promise me you won’t tell anyone else about this. “

“I promise B.” Reaching over, he placed a hand over hers where it was resting on her lap. Glancing at the clock behind her, he saw it was almost midnight and sighed. “It’s late, I better go.”

“Oh uh, yeah okay. Let me walk you out.” Standing up, she followed him to the door, not wanting the evening to end. “Thanks for putting up with us tonight. With two kids Lydia doesn’t get out much and apparently can’t hold her wine as good as in college.”

“It was my pleasure.” His hand went to the door knob then put her turned to face her, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “And uh, nice to know you talk about me.” Her cheeks flushed again as he pulled back and was unprepared for the lightest touch of his lips against the corner of hers. “Goodnight Ellie.” Squeezing her hand, he placed one last kiss on her forehead before turning around and heading out the door. 

As soon as she slid the lock in place she leaned back against the door, a hand coming up to her cheek where she could still feel the lingering touch of Nick’s lips. There was a skip to her step as she went to bed, the smile still present as she thought of the look in Nick’s eyes as he left and the kiss he placed on her skin. 

If this was the result of having Nick meet her family then maybe it was time for a visit from her brothers. 

[strongsassysexysloane]

Fumigation leads to Intoxication. Part 2

As promised... . . . . . . . . . 

No, please don't come in.

.   .   . 

"Sorry.. Gibbs said Y/n would be here and I just wanted to speak to her before I leave." Roni opens the door half way, holding onto the handle. Your head snaps up at the sound of her voice, your neck was seriously going to hurt tomorrow after all this snapping.

"Come in." You look at Jack who is putting on a smile for the intruder but she's an easy read for you now. After looking at her (so much) you can see her ticks. She's throwing daggers at Roni and you hold in a snicker, watching as she tries to blink normally but there's a slight twitch to her stare.

"Please don't come any further, Roni." You grimace at the sound of your nickname for her coming across your lips, the memories vivid in your mind and the pain of the last time you said it. "Give me a second and I'll meet you in the hall." You reach for your shoes but Veronica doesn't leave, you are half tempted to throw you shoe at her or curse at Jack for getting you in the habit of taking your shoes off in her office.

"Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt anything." You can't help the scoff that comes out and see Jack raise an eyebrow at you, her eyes shining at your clear discomfort and need for Veronica to leave her office. She wanted to have her fun and see what Veronica was like, which would probably reflect on you later.

"Shut up." You spit out through your clenched jaw. she  give you her wicked smirk as she turns back to Roni. Standing up, she walks over and extends her hand to Veronica who takes it as as invitation to walk further into the room. You can't take your eyes away, the shoe in your hand forgotten as you ex and your current crush exchange pleasantries, eyeing each other up and down.

"I'm Jack Sloane, Forensic Psychologist." Jack sternly shakes her hand and drops it immediately. Straightening her shoulders she watches as Veronica does just the same but Jack had the upper hand. It was her office and her space.

The shoes you picked out this morning are giving you grief or maybe its the tension that has risen to one thousand in the past ten seconds. Jack's beyond jealous and you can't help the feeling, the twist in your gut and the ache between your legs that grows. Roni looks over Jack's shoulder, because of course Veronica is slightly taller than Jack, which doesn't affect Jack at all. Although you swear she leans up on her tip toes ever so slightly. Veronica looks at you but you're flustered with your shoes so she turns back to Jack.

"Psychologist huh? Y/n tell you all about my dark secrets already?" She smirks, she's trying to be cocky because she clearly saw something between you both and now she feels threatened or some ridiculous emotion. She did the same thing back when you were going out whenever someone showed any interest in you, she got all cocky and smug but usually that lead to mind blowing sex so you never complained. Now it was just pathetic.

"Nothing about you, Veronica. We have more important things to talk about." Jack bit back and you knew, knew because you knew her so well, that Jack instantly regretted biting at Veronica's bait. You knew that feeling oh too well. "She came in to talk about the case, not that that concerns you."

"That how you two ended up siting on the couch all friendly." The power move to cross her arms did nothing for Jack. Jack scoffed, she honestly couldn't believe this woman. Her professional brain was going nuts and her emotions were definitely starting to take over.

It was like watching a caged fighting match with words and with that image in your head you quickly fiddled your last buckle into place.

"We-" Jack breathed in threw her nose and pushed a slow breath out but you jumped up, shoes back on and thankful before one of them slapped the other. But more likely Jack would punch Veronica if you didn't get between them.

"We are done here. Thanks Jack. I'll be back once Veronica leaves." You rub your thumb over her shoulder as you pass her. She gives you a sincere smile, catching your hand as it drops away from her shoulder to give you a comforting squeeze before glaring back at Veronica. You follow Roni out of the room but turn to Jack quickly before shutting the door. "Jealousy looks hot on you, Jay." You whisper and you laugh as she shrinks into her chair, running her hand down her face. Yep, Roni had that affect on people. You'll reevaluate your words when your brain isnt busy getting Veronica as far away from Jack as possible.

You make it half way down the hall before Veronica speaks. "Look I don-"

"Yeah you don't have any right in the way you just spoke with Jay and how you acted in the bullpen. You are on this case to help us with whatever you know about Miss Parker and other than that we don't need to talk. You can go through Bishop or McGee." You open the door to the promenade and walk out, this time Veronica following you, you can hear the clap of her stiletto's following close behind you.

There's a huff before she starts her inevitable rant on your use of names. "So it's Jay with Ms. Sloane but it's last names with the rest of your colleagues?" She's got that fire in her eyes again and that sass in her talk but you aren't rising to the bait. You only like that kind of sass from one woman now.

"I call anyone whatever I want but you, it's Special Agent Jacqueline Sloane to you." You breath slowly, looking her dead in the eyes. "Roni, we are done. Done as the day i got mud all over your Gucci handbag. You didn't want anything more than a good time, we had a good time and it's over. Stop powering around here. We have a dead woman's murder to solve, your colleagues murder, remember? Or did you voluntarily just come here to annoy me when you saw my name on the case? Think you could think about anyone else other than yourself for a change?" You can see she's stunned. You take the oppotunity and walk around her, down the stairs, finding the comfort of your desk. Everyone's eyes are on you and you sit down at your desk, you going straight back into case mode. Ignoring their looks you get back to work.  

You see Veronica talk quietly to Gibbs before saying her goodbyes to the rest of the team everyone glad to see the back of her and then there's silence once she leaves. The weight finally lifting from your shoulders. Jack comes down a few minutes later, perfect timing but you knew it wasn't a coincidence. She informs the team of a few suspects connected to the victim that she found.

"We sure it wasn't Veronica? She certainly seems like-" Torries shuts up when he meets the glares from Jack, Gibbs and you. "Or not." He sinks into his chair, and pouts when Ellie laughs at him.  

"As i was saying.." Jack rattles off the profiles of the suspects. You watch her stand confidently and speak without a drop of hesitation. So sure of herself and it's such a turn on. You shake your head and look at your computer. You needed to get a grip on your hor-mones. McGee and Nick leave after Jack's update to get Harry Nutter, Jack's number one suspect. It takes them a few hours and you have him in custody and Gibbs goes a round in interrogation with him. After an hour of long glares and hardly any talking McGee informs you all that his alibi checks out and you are all back at square one. Kasie or Jimmy haven't gotten any half decent leads. It's just hit 1800 and you are all in need of a decent meal and rest.

"Go home, sleep. We'll pick this up tomorrow." Gibbs grunts and you all follow his command. Happy to get a reprieve instead of working into the early hours of the morning. Your quick exit had nothing to do with the woman who was currently in your apartment doing god knows what.

The lights are on when you walk up the stairs to your apartment. A smell you don't recognise coming through your door. You twist the handle and are presented with Jack in short shorts, NCIS slouch sweater hanging off one shoulder and her hair tied up in a messy bun. You smile and quietly close the door behind you, she hasn't heard you yet. She's got music playing and she's dancing in front of your stove while stirring whatever is in the pot. The sight makes your whole body happy and a twinge between your legs is back.

You are about to get out your phone when she spots you and a red hot blush crawls up her cheeks. "Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I just got cooking and I love singing when I'm cooking and-" As she's rambling and getting redder and redder in the face, you are walking closer and closer to her. That's when your eyes fall down to her feet, they're covered in fluffy blue socks, really finishing off her outfit perfectly. She's adorable. Your eyes slowly rake up her toned calves, muscular thighs and your eyes snap up to hers as you just realised she's stopped talking.

"No need to be sorry, Jack. It smells great. What are you cooking?" You clear your throat, trying to kill the blush thats now painfully covering your cheeks. She's looking at you curiously, you're under scrutiny and after today you just want to relax and not have to think about anything but you have to keep your guard up at home now too.  

"Mac and cheese, my mums recipe." She takes a sip of wine and your eyes narrow at her glass. "Oh sorry, I bought two bottles on the way home. Thought you might need a glass after today. Plus having to put up with me for another two nights." She rushes the last bit out, you can tell she's nervous.

"Not gonna kick you out Jack. Although if you don't pour me a glass of wine while I have a shower you might be closer to the door." You return her smile and she spins around to find another wine glass.

"It'll be ready for you when you return from your shower, sweetheart." The name just rolled off her tongue and she locked eyes with yours as you were passing the kitchen on the way to your room. You smirk and continue walking.

Your shower was needed. It washes away all the dirt you know was left by Veronica and you roll your shoulders back, enjoying the sting of hot water hitting your face and cascading down your body. You want to stay under the water for hours but you hear the clinks of dinner being dished up. You dry off and wrap a towel around yourself before exiting the bathroom.

"Dinner is rea-" Jack stops in the hallway, her eyes dropping down your body and you shiver under her piercing eyes. "Sorry." She bites her bottom lip and hops back into the kitchen, you saw the pink colouring her cheeks and it makes you smile.

You walk into your bedroom, grabbing a pair of lilac coloured leggings and black singlet, slipping into them, you thread your fingers through your hair and look in your small bedroom mirror. You looked cute, maybe, hopefully and you exit, hoping to find Jack dancing around your kitchen again but she was tucked up on the couch sipping her wine glass. The sight of her so comfy and at home in your apartment almost made you feel at home, if your heart wasn't beating out of your chest. She had two bowls of dinner on the coffee table, yours accompanied with a full wine glass and a blanket across her lap.

"Join me." She patted the spot beside her and you happily did as she directed. "Here. You have to have the full experience. Mum did this for me whenever I had a rough day." She shifted the blanket so it rested across your lap and handed you your bowl of mac and cheese.

"You mothering me, Jack?" You tease and Jack straightens up before relaxing seeing your teasing smile.

"Very funny. No I'm not. I'm being a caring and great guest." She takes her bowl and joins you in dinner.

You can't get over how delicious this mac and cheese is. The recipe was surely guarded with her life but you knew eventually Jack would let up. The news is on in the background but neither of you are paying attention to it. Then another smell meets your nose, you look at Jack and she's looking at you. At that moment your oven beeps.

"Right on queue." She jumps up, taking her wine glass with her, she downs the last of her wine before reaching the kitchen.

"What is all this for?" You manage to say in between mouthfuls of mac n cheese. You couldn't put this stuff down, mainly because it was delicious and you hadn't eat in over five hours.

Jack takes out the tray from your oven. The smell assaults your senses again and your eyes light up. "Did you make me mac and cheese and brownies?! You really didn't have to, Jack." You shake your head but take another mouthful of the pasta anyway. Jack laughs and places the tray on your stove.

"You're putting up with me for possibly four nights. This is the least I could do." She flutters her eye lashing and smiles, walking back to you and settling down on the couch, bringing the mac and cheese back to her lips. "Crap." She puts a mouthful of macaroni in her mouth before running back into the kitchen.

"Forgot your wine?" You laugh as you watch her refill her glass, way past the high tide mark.

You settle into comfortable silence as you both eat and drink wine. Enjoying the silence, enjoying Jack being beside you, the wine making you feel light headed and blissful. The days antics washed away until your alarm reminds you of everything at work tomorrow. It isn't long before your wine evaporates from your glass and you groan in disgust which only makes that sweet sound of Jack's laughter fill the room.

"You're cute." She grins, maybe the wine had gone to her head too as her brows furrow for a second and then it's gone.

"Me? You're the one in those shorter than legal shorts and.." You trail off, you eyes following where your words left off and you meet Jack's eyes. She's smiling at you with a cheeky glint in her eye. "I need more wine." You swallow hard and quickly escape to your kitchen. "Want a refill, Jay?" You want to slap yourself with the use of her nickname.

"I'm good, thanks." You jump, her voice is only a whisper, but it's right behind you and not at the safe distance you just put between yourself and Jack.

"Jack I-" You turn to explain, what? You have no idea but she's closes the distance between you, her lips are on yours and you are frozen. Your brain doesn't catch up in time before Jack pulls away. Hey eyes avoiding you completely.

"Sorry I thought-" She's frazzled, you curse your brain for being so slow and its only now that you’ve caught up. Your fingers find the material of her sweater at her waist and tug her to you. She stumbles from the sudden jolt, stumbles into you, her hand coming up cupping your cheek, your eyes meet hers. "Thought I miss read the-" She searching, searching for what both of you want.

"My brain short circuited." You breath, Jack laughs more like giggles and you smile. Your eyes flick down to her lips and back up. It's clear now what you want.

"When I-" She closes the gap between you, holding you in place with her other hand coming up to the back of your neck, drawing you in closer when she pushes you back into the counter. The kiss is slow, both of you exploring, feeling and enjoying the way you fit so well together. Her curves, fitting perfectly in yours, her lips moving in sync with yours, everything is just too right.  

You breath, your breath mixing with Jack's as she rests her forehead against yours. "Yeah.." Is all you can manage to say.

"Mine too." She smiles and you kiss her because now you can but neither of you can stop smiling, the kiss turns into short little pecks broken up by your smiles and giggles.

"So cooking for me was a ploy to get me all hot for you?" You wrap your arms around Jacks waist, causing her lower half to rest more into yours, the heat between your legs growing with the sudden pressure and movement. Jack's leg slipping in between yours, the friction making your mind melt.

"Was testing a theory." She shrugged, her hands playing with the hair at the back of your neck.

"Was it does wearing short shorts and dancing in my kitchen turn me on? Then your conclusion is definitely yes." You manage to speak while her fingers gently play with your hair. The sensation makes your eyes close involuntarily.

"Enjoying this." You can hear the sass in her voice, the words uttered as a clear statement which only causes you to snort.

"A little." You yelp with the not so gentle massage turns into a tug, she pulls your hair which causes your eyes to snap open, her ultimate goal. "Hey, who's the house guest?" Her fingers soothe the spot she pulled, her smirk still clear across her gorgeous face, victory in her eyes only matched equally with desire.  

She gently tugs you forward although you meet her half way, the kiss she tries to dominate. Her tongue swiping across your bottom lip and you moan into giving her access, she dominates any attempt that you try to take control. Her nips and sucks only make your mind turn further to mush but luckily your body has other plans. You push her backwards and it must take her by surprise as her back hits the opposite counter and she laughs into the kiss.

"Hey." She kisses down your cheek, jaw, neck. "What was that for?"

"Was aiming for my bedroom." You moan as she sucks the spot below your ear.

"You missed." Her tongue swirling, soothing over the mark she just made.

"Was a bit distracted." Your brain has come back together somewhat and you thread your fingers through Jack's hair as she's enjoying herself to your neck. You pull her gently and then a bit more forcefully and she follows your guide so you can look at her. "That wasn't a no?"

"God no." She moans, crushing her lips into yours

The rest of the night is a blur of clothes getting thrown across the apartment, laughs and fits of giggles as you stumble to your bedroom and moans and pleas before the night catches up with you both, the brownies forgotten for now. Your heart is still hammering against your chest and you can feel Jack's doing the same under your touch. Your fingers happily exploring and teasing across her skin.

"Are you trying to tickle me?" Jack murmurs, the sex still evident in her voice.

"Just a result of my touch against your skin but I can-" Jack shrieks as you squeeze her side, a place you found earlier when you were exploring everything Jack Sloane, that and the back of her knees were a sensitive spot too.

"S-stop" She struggles to push you away but you're still half collapsed on top of her, making it impossible for her to get away but you give in to her pleas. Knowing it would only come back twice as bad when she gets the chance. "Little shit."

You laugh and place a kiss to her collarbone and another to the base of her neck. "Takes one to know one."

"Wow. How mature of you." Her hand resting across your back that's been gliding up and down your spine of rht past few minutes now tries to tickle your side but thankfully you're back in full control and try your hardest to hold your breath, not giving in to her tickles or need to laugh. "Not fair." She pouts. The years of training yourself self control when being tickled has finally paid off.

You let out a breath as she gives up her assault. "What was that about maturity?" You laugh, nestling into her neck, leaving open mouthed kisses against her skin.

"Mmm, you're lucky ’m half sleepy and half sated otherwise I would've won that fight." You hear her yawn and drop a kiss to her neck again as she stretches and moves to get more comfortable.

"Comfortable? Wait only half?" You look at Jack trying to make a frown but you can't help but smile as Jack laughs and leans in leaving a kiss on your cheek. It's meant to settle you, comfort you but you're still waiting for her verbal answer.

"20-80 and yes. Very." She whispers into your ear and snuggles further to make her point.

"You cooked so you didn't have to sleep on the pullout again." There's accusation in your voice but it's dulled by the laughter in your eyes and the smirk on your lips.

"Hey it worked, didn't it?" She says it so smoothly that you are half concerned but her smirk cracks through and you shove her shoulder in response.

You move to get up but Jack tightens her hold around your waist, making you tumble back down into her side which makes you laugh and your heart pang knowing she doesn't want you to leave. "I'm going to the bathroom. Is that ok?" Your mouth brushing over hers, teasing her with the thought or intention of a kiss but it never happens. Her arms loosens at your waist, her bottom lips jutting out in a poor attempt at a pout.

"Don't be too long." Jack brushes her nose against yours and pecks your lips, satisfied that she caught you before you had a chance to doge her mouth. She deepens the kiss and releases you.

You moan as she pulls away and hop up to go to the bathroom like you said.

You spend the next few hours talking about nothing and everything. Jack telling you stories about her past and you sharing yours. It's sweet and emotional and you both can't stop touching each other, fingers tracing, grazing across skin. It isn't until the early hours of the morning that sleep finally takes you both. Both snuggling and curled up in each other.

If it wasn't for the blaring noise of your phone alarm going off you would've loved waking up in Jack's arms, her legs tangled in yours and her moans vibrating across your skin.

"No." Jack groans, trying her best to roll over but she ends up pressing her face into the crook of your neck trying to hide from the world.

You reach out and switch off the alarm, your hands coming back to Jack's skin like a magnet. You trace her scars, her body shivering under your touch. She rolls onto her stomach beside you and you see it as a clear invitation to explore. You watch her reaction as your fingers move along her scars, her face half hidden in your pillows but she manages to smile up at you, it's a tired, sad and only Jack could manage to show so much emotion with half of her face.

"It's ok." She breathes, seeing the hesitation and question in your eyes.

"You're gorgeous." You whisper and lean down and place your lips onto one of her scars. You smile when her body shivers again, a soft whimper coming from her lips, you see her hand gripping the pillow under her head tightly. Your lips trace where your fingers had just been, making sure to kiss every single scar. You feel her shudder and you lean over to see a tear running down her cheek.

"I'm sorry, I didn-"

It's so quick, so sudden, she springs up, her lips capturing yours in a wet, open mouthed, emotional crushing kiss. She cups your face between her hands and pulls back. "No ones ever-" She chokes up and a sob escapes her lips, her head dips and she leans her forehead against your chin attempting to regain control of her tears, emotions.  

"You're gorgeous Jacqueline Sloane." You cup her cheek, bringing her face back to yours and brush your nose against hers in attempt to get that smile she only shows you. She nods in response and neither of you move. You drop small, feather sfot kisses to her cheeks, hair, nose, forehead and it's a success. Her lips curve into a beautiful smile.

It's moments, minutes before you pull apart, the nagging feeling of work growing stronger.

"Please stay tonight." It's a whisper, a plea.

"I kinda still have to..." She smirks, the sass is back, but she kisses you on the lips before you can bite back. "But even if I didn't, I would."

You reply with a peck to her lips before hopping out of bed. You both get ready in a few minutes, you let Jack use the bathroom first while you get coffee and the brownies ready.

"We are having brownies for breakfast?" She laughs, wraping her arms around your front, kissing the back of your neck.

"That ok?" You place a big slice on one plate and grab two forks.

"Perfect." She lets got and sits down at the counter with you, sharing the brownie and enjoying the coffee. It's such a sweet, domestic moment and you don't want it to end. "We can do this again tomorrow morning." Her fingers reach out and trace your cheek and cup under your chin, lifting your head. Your eyes lock with hers.

"That easy to read, huh?" You smile, glancing at her lips before leaning in and kissing her. The sweet taste of brownie and coffee are intoxicating mixed with the taste of her.

Her fingers tangle in your hair which only deepens the kiss. You both break apart, gasping for air. "Only because I was thinking the same thing." The brownie is quickly devoured between kisses and sips of coffee.

"We need to go." But your eyes say the opposite and Jack just grins, her eyes sparkling. That's when you know everything is going to be fine because looking into those whiskey, soft eyes is home now.

"Think we can keep this just between us for now? Not that I dont want to scream your name to the world, just think we would be too distracted at work." You watch the emotions cross her face, the uncertainty, her nerves, the blush sweetly covering her cheeks. You lean in and kiss her cheek, lingering a second longer to make your point.

"I'll make you scream my name tonight instead then." You wink, hopping down from the breakfast stool and leaving a shocked Sloane in your kitchen.

"I'm going to be the one distracted at work now." She groans, following you out the door. You throw your head back and laugh, locking the door behind Jack.

"Funny, you've been intoxicating me at work for months." This was going to be fun. . . . . . . . .

FIN. I know, sad right? Luckily I have a few other ideas floating around. What did y’all think???? Your comments always make my day/night/week!! 

[fangirlspammer]

Sparks Fly (part 2)

I'm enjoying how easily this story seems to be flowing. Hoping the next chapter is just as easy, enjoyable, and maybe a little longer😌

When you got back to the office there was no time for eating. Gibbs was already making his way to the elevator, so you and Ellie just waited there. Torres tossed you both a sandwich and Tim handed you your bags. "Thanks!" You chirped and handed Gibbs his coffee. He chugged it gratefully and you were off for the rest of the afternoon.

The mysterious blonde was gone from your thoughts for nearly the rest of your shift, but of course that didn't last long. As soon as you and the team were about to pack up she was there in the bullpen. You rolled your eyes as Torres gave a quiet whistle, and you smirked when Ellie elbowed him. When you stood up with your bag slung over your shoulder you were surprised that she was standing at your desk, but taking in the entire team. Who was this woman?

"Team Gibbs, I've heard a lot about you all," she began with a charming smile. "I am Special Agent Jack Sloane and I am the new forensic psychologist here at NCIS," she carried on.

Finally an answer to the question that had been burning in the back of your mind since you'd nearly run into her this afternoon. Your cheeks felt hot as she caught your gaze and lingered a moment. You looked away and frowned a bit at Bishop who gave you a knowing smirk. You rolled your eyes and focused on the woman in front of you now.

"I just wanted to introduce myself and say that it will be a pleasure to work with you all. Director Vance has told me nothing but great things about this team," she smiled, but you weren't buying it.

"Oh I'm sure they weren't all good," McGee chimed in and the team laughed. You caught Gibbs smirk a bit, but his eyes never left his computer screen.

"Well those are stories to get into another time," she laughed and her gaze fell on you again. "Agent Y/N, could I steal you for a moment?"

Your eyes widened slight but you quickly fixed your composure. You glanced to Gibbs and he just shrugged.

"You're off the clock, Y/N," he muttered and shut off his monitor.

"Right," you turned back to Jack and gave a small smile. "I don't see why not," you shrugged and gave Bishop a look.

"Jack, was it?" Ellie spoke up and Jack nodded. "We were just going to grab some drinks. Care to join us?" She grinned and your eyes narrowed. That wasn't exactly what you had in mind and she knew it.

"I wouldn't want to intrude, but thank you," she politely declined.

"I'm sure as a psychologist you can't resist getting to know us on a more personal level," Torres smirked and you shook your head. He had always tried to flirt with the women who came and went in NCIS, but you really hadn't expected him to be so forward with the newest member of Team Gibbs.

"Oh come on, Torres," Ellie whined, uncomfortable by his cringey flirting.

"Don't mind Nick," you rolled your eyes and grabbed your things before coming to the front of your desk. "He's unpleasant before his 3rd drink," you playfully stuck your tongue out to Nick and he held his heart as though you'd wounded him. You laughed and shook your head as you followed Jack out of the bullpen.

"Maybe next time. It was nice to meet you all," Jack smiled graciously, a hint of laughter in her tone, and the two of you made your way up the stairs.

*

The door closed behind you as you entered and looked around the empty and bright orange room. There were a few boxes in the corner, a couch, a desk, and...a dart board? You arched a brow and turned to face the woman behind you. She stood at her door and watched you take in the scenery.

"So that's how you planned it?" You arched a brow, a glint of playfulness in your eyes. She looked back in utter confusion and you chuckled. Your fingers danced along her desk until they landed on a dart and held it up. "Death by darts?" You laughed when she caught on.

Jack laughed and stepped further into the room now. "I figured robbery gone wrong was a little played out," there was that smile again, but with more amusement than before.

Why was this so easy? From the moment you met the two of you seemed to be relaxed around each other and the banter just rolled off of the tongue. More importantly, however, what was going on?

"That's true," you watched her closely and arched a curious brow, "and you don't seem like the 'cliche' type. More of a 'make the moves up as you go' type," you smirked, but the banter didn't last long. You needed answers. "Do I still get one last request?" You played along still.

Jack raised an amused, intrigued brow. "I thought I gave you your last request last night," she pointed out with an amused grin, "but I'll bite."

You walked around the room until you landed at the sofa, under the window and took a seat. You crossed your legs and leaned against the arm. "Why did you show up on my doorstep last night?"

"I needed to see you in your natural habitat," she shrugged simply as if the answer was obvious. "That's the best way to get to know someone in my line of work."

You eyed her curiously as she came to lean against her desk. "You couldn't have just asked?"

She smirked and tossed you a red lollipop from the jar on her desk. You watched as she enjoyed an orange one herself. "Now what fun is that? Besides," her smirk only widened and you knew she was enjoying this a little too much, "I got a nice meal out of it. My first home cooked meal since moving here, in fact."

You laughed and shook your head. "If you call that a meal, then you really are playing the sympathy card," you slapped your hands on your lap and stood up.

"Why would I need to play the sympathy card?" Her curiousity peaked and you were a little surprised she didn't know. Everybody knew. Even the mailman, who only entered the lobby, knew.

"If you really want to know I'm sure you'll find a way," you walked passed her and stopped in her doorway to take another look at her. "Now, if you'll excuse me Special Agent Sloane, I have leftovers, a bottle of wine, and an unfinished episode of Supergirl that are just calling my name."

"I thought you were going out with the team?" Her voice was full of intrigue, but you'd had enough prying for one day.

"That's not my scene anymore," you cursed yourself for adding 'anymore'. As much as you would have loved to finish this playful banter and fight with this unsettling feeling causing your stomach to flip and your breath to catch in your throat, you wanted to go home to your unmade bed even more. "Goodnight Agent Sloane," and with that you were gone, leaving her staring at the empty doorway with so many unanswered questions wracking her brain.

[aion-rsa]

Marvel’s WandaVision and What’s Next for the MCU

https://ift.tt/3c4phnQ

This article contains WandaVision spoilers.

WandaVision has concluded with a terrific final episode, and with it, Marvel’s first foray into episodic television came to an end with startling success – taking a quiet story about a woman’s grief and loneliness, one of the most emotionally evocative pieces of MCU storytelling to date, and using it as a thread in the greater MCU tapestry. And that tapestry is unequivocally bigger now that the show is ended. Here are some of the pieces of groundwork WandaVision laid for the future of the MCU.

The Scarlet Witch and Doctor Strange 2

Lots of people found it odd that the show used Wanda’s real name in its title when the rest of the MCU uses superhero code names. We know why now: the Scarlet Witch is itself a title, one that Wanda embraces by the end of the show. And now it looks like she’s going to be a huge deal for the future of the MCU.

Wanda ends the show by defeating Agatha Harkness and basically putting her back “in character” while the rest of the Westview illusion dissipates, then letting go of her own grief, dissipating the hex around Westview, and taking the Darkhold, (Agatha’s comprehensive guide to evil magical knowledge that named the Scarlet Witch as the magic user who would eventually destroy the world) to the woods to study for a bit.

Read more

TV

Does the WandaVision Finale Set Up Doctor Strange 2?

By Kirsten Howard

TV

WandaVision Episode 9: Post-Credits Scenes Explained

By Gavin Jasper

Wanda is now, to put it mildly, a BIG DEAL. The Darkhold, Agatha tells us, predicts that the Scarlet Witch would inevitably be more powerful than the Sorcerer Supreme, which makes a ton of sense knowing that Wanda is heading to Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness next. 

Young Avengers

Or maybe not? Because the last thing we hear in the show are Billy and Tommy’s voices calling to their mother that something is wrong. 

Billy and Tommy, like colorful Vision, disintegrated when the hex dissipated. They were entirely constructs, which meant their powers were loaned from Wanda, their personalities derived from her, their existence a nice fiction. Just like in the comics, where Billy and Tommy were absorbed into Master Pandemonium’s hands and never heard from again. 

Except the time they joined the Young Avengers. 

Here’s how the comics did it, and I bet how the MCU will too: Billy and Tommy were shards of Mephisto’s soul, captured by Wanda and put into hex magic constructs to be hers and synthezoid-so-not-capable-of-reproducing Vision’s kids. When they were reabsorbed by Mephisto, they ceased to exist, seemingly for good. Later, Tommy Shepherd and Billy Kaplan, two seemingly unrelated teenage boys, are united by virtue of their powers (Tommy is a speedster and Billy uses something that seems like hex magic) on a team of teenage Avengers stand ins. After several adventures, Billy and Tommy discover the truth about their powers: they are the reincarnated shards of souls that previously inhabited the made up Billy and Tommy Maximoff. So they’re kinda sorta actually Wanda and Vision’s kids. At least in their hearts. 

A running mystery about Westview was “what happened to all the kids?” And that question was only partially answered during the show – some kids showed up after Wanda was confronted about it, while Dotty (actually a woman named Sarah) begged Wanda to let her daughter out from where she was locked up. We know prolonged exposure to the Hex gave Monica Rambeau her powers. It doesn’t feel like much of a leap for two random kids trapped inside the Hex to have also absorbed Billy and Tommy’s memories and powers when it came down.

Considering how much Young Avengers stuff is being laid on the table elsewhere – from Kate Bishop in the Hawkeye show, to Cassie Lang and Kang showing up in Ant-Man 3, to The Falcon and the Winter Soldier exploring the history of the super soldier program, this feels like a rock solid lock to come back.

Monica Rambeau and Captain Marvel 2

Monica Rambeau, the newly powered Photon, is pretty clearly headed for space. 

In the mid-credits scene, Monica was taken aside by what appeared to be a SWORD agent, who revealed herself as a Skrull and indicated that somebody in space was looking for her. That somebody is pretty clearly Nick Fury, who was last seen in Spider-Man: Far from Home working with Skrulls, based on a space station, and dealing with interplanetary and interdimensional threats to Earth. 

Through the entirety of WandaVision, SWORD was about monitoring “sentient weapons,” a pretty significant departure from its comics counterpart. Its comics counterpart is much closer to SHIELD but for aliens, something we all expected to happen when we saw Fury hanging out on that space station. It looks like that’s coming true, and the next logical place for that to happen would also be somewhere where we can explore the simmering discontent Monica has with Carol that she expressed at one point during the show. Also Monica’s powers are really cool and should be featured just about everywhere they can be.

Read more

TV

WandaVision: How Monica Rambeau Fits in the MCU

By Delia Harrington

Comics

Captain Marvel 2: What We Want to See

By Delia Harrington

It’s a safe bet that we’ll see Monica reappear on the Ms. Marvel TV show, and she’s long been confirmed for an appearance in Captain Marvel 2.

The Fantastic Four

This is just rampant speculation, but our belief that the seeds of the Fantastic Four in the MCU were sown in WandaVision remains strong. The SWORD uniforms are too close to F4 outfits, and the seemingly new mission of SWORD is too close to the Fantastic Four’s origin for there to be another easy, obvious way in. It’s very easy to imagine four SWORD agents, two of them siblings, getting caught by some cosmic rays on a mission in space and catching superpowers. 

This also has the added convenience of giving them proximity to the Skrulls, historically as large a part of Fantastic Four lore as that of the Avengers. It’s just too easy to miss, even if neither Reed Richards nor Victor von Doom didn’t end up being the teased aerospace engineer. 

X-Men and Mutants in the MCU?

Certain Denizens are adamant that we also saw the dawn of the mutants and thus the first seeds of the X-Men on screen in WandaVision. The theory goes that Wanda had latent powers that she used to defuse the bomb when she and Pietro were little, and the fact that the two of them were the only ones to survive exposure to the Mind Stone indicated latent mutant abilities activated by the stone.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

This theory feels like the biggest reach, but we will admit that there is something to Pietro having latent powers that allowed him to survive. That is probably the strongest circumstantial evidence for this theory, that WandaVision is also the dawn of the X-Men joining the MCU. But it’s still a little bit of a stretch, and if it was the launch of Marvel’s merry movie mutants, we’re sure to get more teases in upcoming shows and flicks.

  The post Marvel’s WandaVision and What’s Next for the MCU appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3ej7P1L

[ijaws]

@transdonnatroy

Seeing as how you blocked me, I'll answer what I can remember here. Maybe you'll see this, maybe not, but here goes. (If anyone else wants to weigh in or discuss this, jump right in.)

The reason why I said that you'd be racist for being agaisnt Whitewashing is rather simple. You're discriminating against an actor/actress based on their skin color. That's the definition of racist. That's what YOU were accusing me of when I was against POCs taking traditional, established, characters. Hiemdall, Domino, and Valkyrie to name a few. So if I'm racist for not wanting POC-washing to happen, then how are you not racist for being against Whitewashing?

I know your arguments already so I'll make them for you.

"Whitewashing is used as a tool for oppression and racism. Essentially robbing POCs from any roles they could possibly have and filling them with White Actors. That is wrong."

I completely, 100%, agree that it is wrong. However, you cannot have it both ways. You cannot sit there and cry racism and oppression over Whitewashing then go on to celebrate POCwashing. That is literally a double standard.

"Well when a POC takes a White Role it's okay because a lot of the time a White Character's story doesn't have much to do with their skin color. It also allows for positive representation in the media so other POCs can see people that look like them that they can relate to on the big screen."

That's wrong. All of it is wrong. If you apply that logic, the logic that their skin color doesn't really matter since they're white, then that means that White People could take POC roles if their story doesn't revolve around their skin color. John Stewart (Black Green Lantern), Cyborg, Sam Wilson (Falcon/Captain America), Nick Fury, Jessica Cruz (Latina Green Lantern.), etc. None of those characters have a story that revolves around their skin color. Theh just happen to be Black or other. That means it should be PERFECTLY acceptable to race swap them.

"NO! THAT'S WHITEWASHING AND STEALING THEIR REPRESENTATION-"

Oooh I see... So... why don't Marvel, Disney, and other Media Companies, I dunno, MAKE NEW ORIGINAL POC CHARACTERS? If you want TRUE fucking representation in these movies?????? I don't think POCwashing is helping.

You know what... I actually think it's insulting to POCs. Why?

Well essentially Marvel, Disney, and Hollywood are simply giving POCs handouts. 2nd hand characters. Simply race changing a role to get the minorities all across the world to suck their dick and sing their praises. Meanwhile Marvel, Disney, and Hollywood are all laughing at minorities behind the scenes. I imagine it goes like this.

"Omg, can you believe it! We don't even have to lift a finger! We don't even need to make New Original POC Characters! Just toss them a White Character and cast a Black Actor and they'll pay! They ACTUALLY think we care!!! Hahaha Being woke is SOOO fucking easy. Can you imagine if we HAD to make oroginal POC characters with original stories about them? I know, right? What a hassle..."

It's honestly like they're telling POCs that they aren't worth the risk. They aren't worth risking money to tell a new story with a new character. That all they'll EVER get is hand me down roles. 2nd rate characters. Nothing that is their own.

This can be said about Valkyrie, Hiemdall, Ariel, Domino, and MAAAAAANY more.

Don't you want to see more ORIGINAL POC Characters???

Where's Brother Voodoo, Statick Shock, John Stewart, Bishop, SILK (Asian Sipder Girl), Psyche (Native American woman who joined the X-Men), Robbie Reyes (A Ghost Rider) etc.?

Why not INVENT new Original POC characters that were never white and were never hand-me-down roles? They'd have their own original stories, powers, and have their own identity. They wouldn't have to ride the coat tails of a White Character's Legacy.

Okay, so that's all I got... Before someone actually calls me racist again I want to say that I'm a source material person. If a character is created a specific way they should stay that way. If they're made as a White Person, they STAY White. If they're made as a Black Person, they STAY Black. If they're made as a man, they STAY a man. If they're made as a woman, they STAY a woman. If they're made as gay, Bi, or whatever, they STAY gay, Bi, or whatever... I don't support gender, race, or sexuality swapping of any kind. If you want representation, do it the proper way and create NEW original characters. Don't approapriate a character that doesn't reflect your people and try to change them around to where it does... That's called cultural appropriation people...

One last thing. You don't solve cultural appropriation with more culturual appropriation You don't solve racism with more racism. You don't solve sexism with more sexism. You don't solve sexual discrimination with more sexual discrimination.

That's the bottom line.

[allspark]

It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us next week like Dungeons and Dragons, My Little Pony, Sonic the Hedgehog, Star Wars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and much more! All coming your way for March 20th!

MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC #76

Katie Cook, Andy Price (A/CVR A) Andy Price (CVR B) Sara Richard

The search for the missing stars of the Andalusian constellation continues! With Pinkie Pie, Big Mac, Zecora, and the Cutie Mark Crusaders on the case, this expedition’s in the bag! …Right?! Things aren’t always what they seem in this thrilling new adventure featuring your favorite ponies and Equestria’s biggest villain yet-Cosmos! Follow your favorite fillies and their friends and they seek to unravel the mystery of the missing constellation! Twists and turns abound in this new story by Pony-favorites Katie Cook and Andy Price!

BELZEBUBS HC

JP Ahonen (A/CVR) JP Ahonen

Belzebubs is a “trve kvlt mockumentary” focusing on the everyday challenges of family life: raising kids, running a small business, and making time for worship. Except the kids are named Lilith and Leviathan, the business is a black-metal band, and the worship… isn’t exactly aimed upstairs.

In a few short years, what started out as improvised social-media doodles has now become a wildly successful webcomic with hundreds of thousands of fans. The irresistible cartooning of JP Ahonen (Sing No Evil) combines relatable slice-of-life humor with over-the-top occult antics and references from metal music to Lovecraftian horror, making Belzebubs a devil of a good time.

•   Calvin & Hobbes meets Call of Cthulhu as the sensationally popular heavy metal webcomic Belzebubs comes to print in a grim, goofy, and gorgeous hardcover. •   Over 250,000 rabid Facebook fans! •   Official soundtrack on Century Media Records, the world’s biggest heavy metal label! •   Visit belzebubs.com for strips, music video, and much more!

DUNGEONS & DRAGONS A DARKENED WISH #1

B Dave Walters (A/CVR A&B) Tess Fowler

When war threatens the Moonshae Isles, legendary heroes return to defeat the forces of an unthinkable foe. The Forgotten Realms are changed forever as young wizard Helene and her friends grow from raw recruits on the streets of Mintarn into powerful warriors. Creators B. Dave Walters (Stream of Many Eyes, Geek & Sundry, The Rundown) and Tess Fowler (Kid Lobotomy, Critter) join forces to bring you an all-new D&D adventure of epic scope and flair!

Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition sales continue to explode! With millions of copies sold around the world, D&D has returned as a cultural force!

FAMILY MAN

Jerome Charyn (A/CVR) Joe Staton

Two brothers: one, a man of God; the other, a man of the Mob. In a city on the edge of chaos, they’ll do anything to survive. The story begins in New York City… one hour into the future. Crime runs rampant, rogue cops patrol the rubble-strewn streets, predatory gangs steal anything that isn’t nailed down, and the once powerful mafia Dons cower in fear in their tenement prisons. Someone is killing the mob chieftains one by one, and the last survivors call on Alonzo, the Family Man, to hunt down the murderer. But it won’t be easy-not when Alonzo’s own brother Charles, the gun-toting Monsignor of the corruption-ridden New York City police department, is a prime suspect.

MARVEL ACTION AVENGERS #3

Matthew K. Manning (A/CVR A) Jon Sommariva

Earth’s Mightiest Heroes take on exciting new challenges in this brand-new Avengers series! The saga of the stolen Iron Man armor comes to a thrilling conclusion! Will the Avengers be able to stop the wily machinations of the Iron Mechanic and his army of AIM agents? Can they ever hope to silence the destructive appetite of Fin Fang Foom? And where on earth is Tony Stark?!

NICKELODEON SPLAT ATTACK

(A) Troy Little, David Garcia Cruz

Prepare for the food fight to end all food fights in an all-star, jam-packed, crossover event featuring Nickelodeon’s Spongebob Squarepants, Hey Arnold!, Rugrats, and Invader Zim. In Nickelodeon’s Splat Attack!, two to four players select a team and head to the cafeteria to unload their trays! Sling unique food items and roll dice to determine your hits! When getting splattered with food, pull a splat token from a lunch bag and place it on your character’s grid. If your character’s grid is full, then they’re splat’d and out of the game!

Nickelodeon’s Splat Attack! is a family-friendly, miniatures combat game that features custom dice-rolling combat, hand management, and a unique damage system that has players laying splat tiles onto their characters until their characters are completely covered in food-splats!

•   Advance solicited for October release! •   Includes 16 highly-detailed plastic miniatures and custom dice! •   Features inventive player damage system designed by Jonathan Ying! •   Incredible artwork from Troy Little and David Garcia Cruz!

SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #15

Ian Flynn (A/CVR A) Jack Lawrence (CVR B) Diana Skelly

“Patient Zero.” Having finally come face-to-face with Dr. Starline, Sonic needs to learn more about this new threat. He and Amy investigate an old Eggman lair, but find it less abandoned than they thought when Rough & Tumble return for revenge! A major turning point in Season 2! Who will be infected?!

STAR WARS ADVENTURES #19

Cavan Scott, Nick Brokenshire (A/CVR B) Nick Brokenshire (A/CVR A) Mauricet

Legendary General Obi-Wan Kenobi undertakes a daring mission for the Republic Army during the Clone Wars! Guest-starring Captain Rex! The second of three issues set during the prequel films!

TMNT ONGOING #92

Tom Waltz, Kevin Eastman (A/CVR A) Michael Dialynas (CVR B) Kevin Eastman

The future of the TMNT, and all of NYC, comes down to a final negotiation between Splinter and Karai. Can they reach an agreement before Bishop’s new plan begins? The events of this issue will change the fate of the TMNT forever!

  Join the IDW Hasbro Shared Universe related conversation here in our Comics Discussion and Reviews section and here for all other franchises, superheroes, or general comic book discussions! Not a member? Join our community by creating your own free account here! Or jump right into the live chat on our Discord server or our Facebook Group!

IDW Comics Shipping List for March 20th! It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us next week like  1,039 more words

[lainabobaina]

I was tagged by @star-dust-ed so here goes!!  Thank you dear!!

Get To Know Me ♥

Goal: So many, but the main ones are to raise my autistic daughter to be able to function independently in a society that doesn’t make it easy for amazing people like her.  I want to see her happy and fulfilled and in love with her life.  I would also love to be a published novelist, but who doesn’t?  ;)

Relationship Status: Very happily married to my best friend and high school sweetheart!!

Favorite Colours:   Green and blue, but black for my clothing.

Top Three Ships: Reylo, Stydia (Stiles and Lydia from Teen Wolf), and The Doctor/Rose (specifically 9 and 10).  I also love Ness (Nick and Jess from New Girl)

Lipstick or Chapstick: Oh boy, I’m a makeup junkie so why would I EVER choose between the two???  I have a ridiculous number of different types of lippies - stains, lipsticks, liquid lipsticks, glosses, balms, you name it I have it.

Last Song: Finesse by Bruno Mars and Cardi B (I’m obsessed, sorry)

Last Movie: Last movie I saw in the theater was The Last Jedi!  The last movie I watched at home was Despicable Me 3.  My daughter loves it so it’s on A LOT.

Top 3 Shows: New Girl, Stranger Things, and Bob’s Burgers.

Top 3 Bands/Artists: I have a deep and abiding love for Social Distortion and they will always be in my top 3.  As for the others, it changes all the time.  Right now I’m loving Bishop Briggs and Halsey, so I guess they’ll round out my top 3.

Currently Reading: "Year One” by Nora Roberts.  She’s my absolute favorite guilty pleasure author.  I also just finished “The Whispering Room” by Dean Koontz and I loved it!  He’s in my list of favorite authors right behind Stephen King, who is and always will be the MASTER.  If he recommends a book, I’ll read it.  No questions asked.

[almostnormalcomics]

IF: A Crime Anthology https://buff.ly/2jsKufL and https://buff.ly/2zNOQsU is a 336-page, Black and White, crime anthology written and illustrated by various creators. Published by Alterna Comics.

In this massive anthology a bunch of talented writers, artists, and letters combine their skills to create a polished collection of crime stories. The assortment of writers and artists deliver a range of styles and crime related subjects that are sure to please any fan of the genre! Here’s a brief look at what’s inside…

First off in Bank, by Jed McPherson (words and letters) and Chris Shehan (art), a man robs banks and stashes the money in garbage cans because he claims someone is holding his daughter, a daughter he doesn’t have!

Then in Bump In The Night Zach Bassett checks us into a hotel where a murderer is on the hunt, but his next would be victim has other plans!

In the The Chasedown, with words and art by Tyler Wentland and letters by Wes Locher, violent guys from different cultures all cross paths in a high-speed race through the streets of a big city!

Citizen Scorn, with words, story, and letters by Chas! Pangburn, with Brian Level also on story, and K.R. Whalen and Vasco Sobral on art, holds bad cops accountable in this graphically gory story!

With The Cycle by Paul Axel (words), Deanna Brigman (art), and Justin Birch (letters) a lifetime of limited options and poor decisions leads to unfortunate consequences for a kid named Anthony.

In Destiny, NY: Different This Time by Pat Shand (creator, words), Vincenzo Riccardi (art), Jim Campbell (letters), and Manuel Preitano (creator) a transplant from across the pond finds it difficult to shake a violent way of life that she’s grown accustomed to, but she tries!

Next Hugo Boylan (words), Rapha Lobosco (art), and Kerrie Smith (letters) take us into a man’s dreams in Dreamweaver!

Enforcer: Tough Luck, by Brian Funk (words), Artyom Trakhanov (art), and Thomas Mauer (letters), takes us (along with a bit of Irish luck) into the dark and seedy side of Meridian, a bustling metropolis full of gangs and their mythological gods, ghosts, and demons!

In Everyman, by Andrew M. Jackson (words and art) and Todor Hristov (letters), a wanderer brings trouble wherever his wandering takes him!

A fighter regrets the path he’s taken as the bell sounds in Friday Night Fights by Bob Frantz and Kevin Cuffe (words), Tim Switalski (art), and Shawn Greenleaf (letters and edits)!

Automation improves life for most, but for others it leads to drastic measures to prove their worth in Future (im)Perfect by Andre Mateus (words) and Luis Cavaco (art and letters)!

A fortunate accident leads to life-changing decisions in Game Day by Jon Clark (words and art) and April Brown (letters)!

In Golden Years by Mark Bertolini (words) and Carlos Angeli (art and letters) a man comes to terms with his own mortality and decides to settle a score that’s been haunting him for yours!

Massimo Rosi (words), Eduardo Mello (art), and Francesco Della Santa (letters) bring us Graveyard Ballad, a tale in which three former soldiers must pay the price for their past sins!

The Guilt by Glenn Moane (words), Adrian Bago Gonzalez (art), and Sean Rinehart (letters), eats away at one man, driving him to make things right the only way he knows how!

It’s another “Why did the chicken cross the road?” mystery in Hard-Boiled by Chas! Pangburn (words and letters) and Claire Connelly (art)!

In Helpless, by Terry Mayo (words), Chris Pongpat (art), and Micah Myers (letters), a serial killer addicted to death thinks he’s found easy prey to sink his teeth into…until the prey bites back!

Then, in The House Always Wins by Erik Whalen, a gambler finds a winning streak but pushes his luck a little too far!

Next in Identity Thrift, by Mike Garley (words), Andy W. Clift and Nathan Ashworth (art), and Michael Stock (letters), a guy that struggles to fit in finds the life and friends he’s always wanted…and he’ll do whatever needs to be done to keep it!

Everyone seems to make lists and in Last Thing on the List, by R. Thomas Favino (words and letters) and Ross Radke (art), one senior citizen gets to scratch one thing off their list!

In The Monster, by David Bishop (art and letters) and Ben Rosenthal (words), we travel back to the late 1800’s where two devious doctors are building something with human parts!

A big city detective with time on his hands decides to investigate a series of mysterious disappearances in the small town of Morrow by Jeffrey Bridges and Susan Bridges (words), Phillip Sevy (art), and Toben Racicot (letters)!

A couple of detectives seek to explain why people are killing themselves in The Mountain by Dave Swartz (words, art, and letters), and find something much darker than they expected!

It’s time for performance reviews and there’s been a Murder on the Orient Station, by Glenn Matchett (words), Antonio Brandao (art), and Weston Design Studio (letters)! Now only the space bound sheriff can solve the crime with the aid of his A.I. sidekick, but there’s something not quite right about the sheriff’s conclusions!

No Dawn for a Pawn, by James E. Roche (words), Axur Eneas (art), and Chas! Pangburn (letters), is written and illustrated in a Dr. Seuss poetic style and tells the tale of lost love and deceit in a whimsical way!

An obsessive neighbor takes things too far in Noelle, by Cody Sousa (words), Cody Sousa and Dan Sheppard (story), Dylan Andrews (art), Dezi Sienty (letters), and Nicole Airey (edits), and finds himself in the interrogation room of the local police station!

A death row inmate’s last request in The Olive, by Rob Pilkington (words) and Benjamin A. E. Filby (art), pushes one man to his limits!

In The One That Got Away, by Jerry Willoughby (words), Nenad Cvitcanin (art), Nikki Sherman (letters), and Katie Rose (edits), two brothers in crime share a little too much and learn there is no honor among thieves!

Sometimes you really should trust your first instinct and that’s the case in The Other Thoughts Jacoby Salcedo (words and art), Kiefer Hanson (letters), and Dana Lawson-Rivera (edits)!

Things aren’t what they seem in The Priest and the Parishioner, by Luis Roldan Torquemada (words and letters) and Aurelio Moreno Cabanes (art), but as true identities are revealed and bullets fly, all becomes clear!

A detective with a knack for getting confessions re-connects with a childhood acquaintance in Rebirth of the Gangster by CJ Standal (words and letters) and Juan Romera (art)!

In Roadkill, by Hannu Kesola (words) and Antti Kosonen (art and letters), a couple of bikers get their hands dirty doing the right thing!

Order is maintained in The Self-Deceiver, by Par Thorn (words) and Nicolas Krizan (art and letters), as a comics creators’ agent recalls his less than honest life in the business!

It gets hard to tell who Spartacus is in this short tale by Shaun Manning (words and letters) and Francisco Munoz and Allyson Haller (art)!

Crow Ra (words, art, and letters) gives us a flawed character with some understandable regrets in Stained Accessory!

In Stall, by Forrest C. Helvie (words), Joseba Morales (art), and Adam J. Wollet (letters), there’s something strange happening in the bathroom!

An unlucky Thief, by Jason Inman and Ashley Victoria Robinson (words), Nick Robles (art), and Taylor Esposito (letters), realizes too late that he’s stolen from the wrong guy!

And lastly in What It Takes, by Daniel Santos (words), Iacopo Calisti (art), and Toben Racicot (letters), a writer explains everything that goes into writing a crime story!

You can get the IF Anthology: Crime at https://buff.ly/2jsKufL and https://buff.ly/2zNOQsU and you can find more at https://www.alternacomics.com/ifanthology

[chapulana]

All We Know About the Upcoming NHL Season [Holyfield NHL Season Preview]

We’ve made it. We’ve made it through the worst months for hockey fans and followers. The summer is on our rearview and all we have ahead is just another full – Olympics-stripped, though – season of ice hockey. Long gone are the days of wondering where this or that guy would play in 2018. Long gone are our thoughts about who Vegas should or shouldn’t pick in the expansion draft held after the Penguins conquered their second Stanley Cup in a row. It is time for new beginnings and here at Holyfield we have teamed to answer some freezing questions about the upcoming NHL season.

In order to keep things organized, we first created some sort of power rankings. Once those were done, we generated an aggregated ranking of teams. Finally, and taking that final order into consideration, we were able to find some questions and answers to them that will serve as our proxy to know who’s who in world hockey. Some you’ll like more, some you’ll like less, but everything will get covered next.

So let’s get started. Here is our NHL Power Rankings table, which includes every team from 1 to 31 based on the aggregated ranking that came from the lists curated by Holyfield writers Grant Evan, Matt Bram, Antonio Losada and Brandon Allin. Each contributor list is also color-coded in four tiers, without restrictions about the number of teams in each of them. Those are the following:

Green: Championship Bound

Yellow: Playoff Team

Red: Dark Horse Playoff Contender

Blue: Rebuilding

Now, on to the table. Again, the first column contains the aggregated ranking, and the following four-and-four are each of the contributors’ rankings, color-coded by tier and from 1 (green) to 31 (red) for better comparison with the position of each team in the aggregated ranking.

Looking good? Well, we have the answers to your freezing questions about what is going on in there, so let us bring them to you.

Pittsburgh will officially become a dynasty by getting the three-peat

Good things come in threes.

The Pittsburgh Penguins, for better or worse, will win their third consecutive Stanley Cup Championship and cement themselves as a bonafide NHL dynasty.

Our writers have pegged the Penguins as the consensus favorite heading into the new season, a position we expect them to still hold come playoff time. Mega talent Sidney Crosby (barring any significant injury woes, knock on wood) will again lead the way for the black and yellow in their quest for the three-peat and the opportunity to once more hoist Lord Stanley.

Behind Crosby, the Penguins will ice somewhat of a different look. Forwards Chris Kunitz and Nick Bonino, defenseman Trevor Daley, and goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury have departed for less-green pastures, and while the Penguins can expect Phil Kessel, Evgeni Malkin, and Patric Hornqvist to carry much of the load, a third championship will no doubt require a healthy Kris Letang on the back end and contributions from younger bodies in Jake Guentzel and Connor Sheary.

Lineup changes aside, expect to see the Penguins right back on top come season’s end.

Vegas may not suck as much as expected

It's really easy to look at an expansion team and pass them off as a team that's going to have to go through a lot of growing pains and get their socks rocked. The last time the NHL expanded in 2000, both the Blue Jackets and the Wild had terrible records, finishing 5th in both of their divisions. (This was back when 5th was the last place due to having smaller division breakups.) The Golden Knights, however, have a very real opportunity to land themselves a respectable finish in the division they have currently landed in. Vegas will compete in the Pacific division, a division that yes hosts powerhouses like the Ducks and the Oilers but also on-the-verge-of-being-demolished teams like the Coyotes and Canucks.

What's more, Vegas is primed to be an offensive force to be reckoned with. While we can't give too many bearings to preseason hockey, the Golden Knights not only looked competent, but even talented. Thomas Hyka is a big name to keep an eye on as the 6th round rookie led the team in goals with a whopping 4 in addition to an assist. In addition to that, Hyka brought in 40% of the team's shooting percentage.

On defense, you, of course, have to account for the presence of a long time Pittsburgh Penguin Marc-Andre Fleury, a goalie who has not allowed under .900 shots against percentage in a decade. The veteran still looks to be a wall in the net. Vegas may not be going to the playoffs immediately, but look at them to frequently play spoiler against your favorite team this season.

There is still hope in Detroit

It's not looking great for Detroit. The team's longstanding playoff appearance streak came to an unsatisfying close last season as they finished 7th in the Atlantic division; a division that is increasingly looking like the toughest division in the NHL. Having to keep up with the Canadiens, Senators, Bruins, Lightning, and the suddenly hot Maple Leafs is no easy task. But all doesn't seem totally lost for Detroit.

Yes, they have some areas of concern. A team with the likes of Zetterberg, Nyquist, and Nielsen should probably not be under .500 when it comes to shooting goals. But we also have to remember that Zetterberg is an assist machine and will absolutely be more featured heading into this season. "But wait wasn't he already team captain and heavily featured this season?" Why yes, yes he was, but considering he only walked away with 68 points this year, 40 of which coming off of assists, it's safe to say Zetterberg is more efficiently finding a niche area he can succeed, which can pave the way for less shooting and more assisting. Assists are a big area of concern for the Red Wings, so with doubling down on somebody who is actually good at them, they may actually see something besides bland stagnation.

But what I'd really like to turn your attention to is the third round of the Red Wings draft. Big investment on defense, a shiny new goalie, two promising centers that are already starting to turn a few heads. Detroit could get back to playoff glory if just a few small things that didn't fall their way end up falling their way in the next season. Especially if the Maples Leafs experience even a slight regression.

Tampa Bay can go either way

Steve Yzerman has put together something special in Tampa. What's even more impressive is how he has kept it together. There was a lot of speculation two years ago that the Lightning may undergo a serious rebuild as the contracts of their biggest players came up. Steve Stamkos and Victor Hedman re-signed for eight-year deals, cementing them as the core pieces of the team. What's astounding though is how Tyler Johnson and Nikita Kucherov both were retained as well. They traded in Ben Bishop for Peter Budaj, effectively keeping the promising Andrei Vasilevskiy in the top spot. Yzerman took his Stanley Cup qualifying team from a few years back and not only retained his core but improved on it. That being said, this isn't new information.

The Lightning have been plagued by untimely injuries over the last two seasons. Last year, Stamkos was only available for a fraction of the season. The upside? Kucherov and Hedman both had banner years and the Lightning went one point short of a playoff appearance despite the absence of their franchise star. Injuries to Tyler Johnson and Ben Bishop kept them struggling in the post-season, especially down the stretch, during their 2014-15 season.

The Lightning are built to dominate but have struggled over the last few seasons due to injuries and uncertainty at goaltender. Looking at this roster now, there is a lot of reason to be hopeful. Steven Stamkos and Nikita Kucherov are two of the best in the game. Victor Hedman is an elite defender. You've got solid veterans in Ryan Callahan, Chris Kunitz, and Anton Stralman. Then, as a result of their Jonathan Drouin trade, they've got a young stud in the making in Mikhail Sergachev. This team is young, diverse, and built to make a serious run this year. But again, this isn't new information. They have got to get into a rhythm and they have got to stay healthy. If they do, they have the pieces to contend with the best.

Congratulations Canada, you (virtually) will make it again!

Canada hockey is great again! Especially in Edmonton. The Predators may have been the darlings of the playoffs last season but if anybody is poised to potentially knock Pittsburgh off their perch, it's the Oilers. Easily the best team in their division. Possibly the best one at the conference. The Ducks are looking like they're starting to slip, the Predators and Wild are going to need to work to maintain the success they saw from last season, the Blackhawks early playoff exit was very telling of their blatant weaknesses, and nobody else has the sticks to hang with the Oilers right now.

The last time a Canadian team took the cup was in 1993. Each season since then, there has been a clear cut "best Canadian team" that the whole the country seemed to hang their hopes on. But right now Canada seems to have several teams they could potentially hang their hats on. While the Oilers seem poised to make a run at the cup, we can't dismiss the fact that five of the league's seven Canadian teams not only made the playoffs but did not lose any momentum heading into the next season. Can't bring yourself to cheer for the Oilers because you’re a Jets fan from the Gretzky days? Well hey! The Maples Leafs seems to be on the up and up and it's fun to cheer for the underdog!

Canadian teams – Vancouver and Winnipeg excluded – are moving in a positive direction. Pittsburgh is going to be difficult to knock off, but between Edmonton, Calgary, Toronto, Ottawa, and Montreal, Canada has a very real chance to bring the cup back to the birthplace of hockey.

Toronto will improve, but ultimately get back to flopping ways

This is how the Eastern Conference Wild Card standings looked like at the end of the 2017/18 regular season:

New York Rangers: 48 W - 28 L - 6 OT - 102 PTS

Toronto Maple Leafs: 40 W - 27 L - 15 OT - 95 PTS

New York Islanders: 41 W - 29 L - 12 OT - 94 PTS

Tampa Bay Lightning: 42 W - 30 L - 10 OT - 94 PTS

If we remove the New York Rangers from the list, the remaining three teams ended the campaign in a space of two points and their order in the ranks – and subsequently their appearance in the postseason – came down to the smallest of differences. Toronto jumped over the Islanders and the Lightning and once in the playoffs, made Washington go through a tough series that the Capitals ended winning 4-2.

But let’s be real. No one expected Toronto to finish as high as they did nor to reach such a performance level on a rebuilding process that was fostered quite a bit and caught more than one person off-guard. Matthews became just the 20th player to score 40+ goals in his rookie season and the first since Ovechkin in 2006, and along Mitch Marner and William Nylander the trio combined for a total of 191 points. No team has had a group of rookies clicking at the same time such as Toronto did during the past season, and things look like can only get better.

The signing of Patrick Marleau is a clear clue about what the Maple Leafs have in mind: winning and winning now. If you don’t have that mentality you don’t pay a 38-year old that money. Toronto’s window is wide open. Their young core is still on cheap deals about to become huge sooner rather than later. Support-pieces like Van Riemsdyk, Kadri, Bozak or Rielly are enough to make a deep run in the postseason, but questions are still in the air. Is the aforementioned trio of young’uns ready for such a leap? Can they carry the team through the late stages of the season? And most importantly, was last season just a lucky bounce for a franchise in the middle of a process, or the first step towards what could end being a success story this very next summer?

Dallas’ top line is going to be a postseason headache for more than one

There will be no shortage of firepower in Dallas this year.

With the additions of right winger Alexander Radulov and towering center Martin Hanzal, it appears the Stars won’t have any trouble finding the back of the net in 2017-18. It remains to be seen if general manager Jim Nill’s retooling of the club top six will be enough to get the Stars over the hump, but as it stands, a return to the playoffs appears all but certain. Radulov and Hanzal will join Jamie Benn, Tyler Seguin, and Jason Spezza as part of an offensive core that appears poised to one of the league’s most potent.

Now if only they could find a way to keep pucks out of their net. Ben Bishop, you’re up. The native of Denver, Colorado, comes with the task of improving the poor work done by Dallas' past nightmarish goalies although his .910 SV% is not otherworldly. Ultimately, the Stars' offensive power is what will matter and everything will depend on it in order to end with a positive goal difference.

California turns old but gold

Go back in time to 2012. The Los Angeles Kings had just won their first Stanley Cup. In 2013 they lost in the Conference Finals but they came back strong in 2014 to win their second Stanley in three years. Fast-forward to the present and we’re just three seasons away from that, which is not that much time, but is more than that elapsed since the San Jose Sharks reached their first Stanley Cup Final a little more than one year ago to fall against Pittsburgh. Things are not looking that bad in California, are they?

Objectively, the Kings have dropped the puck hard during the past three seasons. They have not made it past the First Round and have missed the postseason entirely two of three years. It is not that they are a real contender, but they have the goods. Drew Doughty is the franchise’s pilar and one of the NHL’s best defenders. Jeff Carter and Anze Kopitar keep being a tremendous one-two punch at the center position and Jonathan Quick has the goal covered. Age is the issue. Los Angeles is at a point where they must capitalize before turning the page and starting all over again, but their window is closing faster than you might imagine. A new management team has taken charge of the franchise and results will be expected given the position the team is at, only that they come from their worst season in PTS% since 2009. You probably shouldn’t bet on them, but I’d definitely keep an eye on what the Kings have in store and who they can upset through the course of the season.

And what to say about San Jose? 25 seasons in the NHL, 19 playoff appearances, yet still no cups thanks to a Crosby-led Penguins team that made it impossible for the debuting Sharks to get their first in 2016. Consistency defines what San Jose has achieved lately. Age – as for the Kings –, too. Per Hockey-Reference.com Point Shares, three of the five most valuable Sharks are already 31+ years old. Marleau has bolted for Toronto, Burns is an aging d-man with a huge contract attached to him, Pavelski is still holding his own and other pieces around them such as Joe Thornton will be on the decline quite soon. If San Jose wants to get the cup they’ve been after for so long, their chance is now. Last season lost to Edmonton proved that the team has probably lost a step and is not able to keep up with the pace of younger-blood teams anymore, so their options go through making a deep run now or break it all up and start all over again. The core is still valuable, the pieces around it are good enough, but the future doesn’t look so bright out of the already-developed players in the team. If the banner can’t get raised during the next summer, the Sharks may find them lost in the sea for quite some time.

Tank, tank, tank, Colorado has to tank

The Colorado Avalanche may be the worst team in the four major leagues. The competition is scarce. Sure, you have Brooklyn, but outside of them, things are looking up for both the Browns and the 49ers. Things are looking up for Colorado, they are. But in a similar way as the 49ers and Browns. You're looking up at a mountain. It's just, in this case, we're referring to a team called "Avalanche," so that's not necessarily a great place to be. Or an analogy. Anyway, the Avalanche need to tank this year.

They've got a great prospect in Tyson Jost, who could easily become a franchise piece for them. But as good as I think Jost will be, he won't be good enough to elevate Colorado from the bottom. He isn't an Auston Matthews or Connor McDavid, and even so, they didn't do it alone. Colorado finished last in goals scored, goals against, and powerplay goals. Virtually any category you can think of, the Avalanche were one of the worst teams.

Colorado has a lot of youth, but they have a lot of disappointment as well. Believe it or not, it's actually not hard to see how things could go right for them. There is a lot of potential on the roster, but no identity. They don't seem to know what they want to do. They've got to get "something." There is so much youth on this roster and while Gabriel Landeskog is a good leader, there isn't a star on this roster. No one is really elevating this team and carrying them. They've got to find that something, be it through a star player or through the unity and chemistry of the roster. But save that for 2018-19. This year, the Avalanche cannot afford to fight their way to the outer reaches of mediocrity. For what seems to be three years running, the top overall pick in the draft has been instrumental in turning their teams around. For the good of the team, the Avs should try their hardest to make it four years.

Calgary is about to become Ottawa

Erik Karlsson will play just with an ankle and a half this year. The attacking d-man accounted for 12.9 Point Shares during the past season. Ottawa missed the Stanley Cup Final just by one overtime goal. They were so close, yet they are so far now. Luckily for Canada, Calgary may be poised to turn into this season’s Senators thanks to its developing core and the moves they’ve completed during the past few months. The Flames have most notably acquired Travis Hamonic, Eddie Lack, and Ryan Murphy. Their defense is up there with the most talented ones thanks to a top-4 consisting on the aforementioned Hamonic along Giordano, Brodie, and Hamilton. Not to mention their best forwards, where they have the likes of Gaudreau, Monahan or second-year winger Tkachuk.

While a bad run or a slump through the season may make the Flames find themselves fighting for a wild card spot at the end of the campaign due to their divisional rivals – Anaheim and Edmonton primarily – being a little over them, they have enough pieces to make a run for the gold this next season. There are still question marks at goal, and the forward corps has yet to prove they can perform at the utmost possible level, but there is hope for the Flames. Calgary posted good possession numbers in terms of shooting and the demolition at the hands of Anaheim in the first round of the playoffs shouldn’t be the story of the year again.

Ultimately, most of the Flames potential success will come down to the level of performance Mike Smith shows behind the net. Acquired from Arizona during the summer, Smith comes with a .913 Save Percentage over his career and improving upon what Brian Elliott and Chad Johnson did a year ago shouldn’t be much of a task. A couple of good streaks, continuity, and a leap from a group ready to make the jump in quality should be enough to take the bull by the horns and make some noise in the postseason.

Get ready for a Wild regression

With every new season comes a handful of meteoric rises and unexpected free falls. This year, the Minnesota Wild will come out on the losing end.

Call it a bold prediction if you’d like, but we’re nonbelievers in the wild. Last year, they finished just three points shy of a Western Conference title, and while odds dictate the Wild won’t plummet enough to miss out on a postseason berth, we consider it unlikely they’ll replicate last season’s success.

Part of the reason for that dreary outlook is in the net where goaltender Devan Dubnyk’s dazzling numbers may very well be unsustainable. When Dubnyk is on, the Wild are a tough out for any team in the league, but when he’s off it’s bad news in the State of Hockey. Whether it be the heavy workload or plain bad bounces, look for Dubnyk to come back down to earth a little bit this year.

The other reason? Minnesota simply won’t score in bunches the way they did just last year, scoring exactly 50 more goals than the previous season. Everything went right for the Wild offensively last year, a phenomenon we don’t expect to carry over into 2018.

So what for the rest of the league? Well, folks, that could make for another full preview, so we better start firing the engines.

Last season’s Stanley Cup Final featured an eighth-seeded team in Nashville that swept Chicago in the very first round of the playoffs. The Predators have lost Mike Fisher and James Neal, right, but Chicago has flipped Artemi Panarin for Brandon Saad (congratulations to Columbus for turning into a top-of-the-order contender out of nowhere and improving that status this summer), traded Niklas Hjalmarsson for peanuts and signed not-so-inspiring Patrick Sharp from Dallas. Nashville will probably make a good run during next summer trying to capture their first cup while Chicago’s retooling may end not very well after all the jiggle.

The Pacific is stacked on its own. San Jose and Los Angeles will fight to come back for one last try before their rebuilding processes become inevitable, while Calgary is poised to take everyone by surprise. But the loaded guns are none of those. Edmonton has hockey’s future – and first $100-million player – in its roster and Anaheim looks like the most stable team from the bunch. Expect Corey Perry back at his usual level after last season’s regression. Wait and watch Ryan Getzlaf getting assists here and there. Get frustrated by Ryan Kesler’s style of play. But most of all become familiar with the Ducks’ because you’re going to hear about them for a long long time.

And speaking of large time spans, what about the Capitals second-round exit streak? It has reached the count of three, and barring a miracle – not because of lack of quality, but because God knows what – it doesn’t look like they’ll make it pass it this year. Alex Ovechkin had led Washington’s roster in Point Shares every single season since he joined the team until last year. He became the talk of the Capitals’ offseason with rumors of a possible trade being in the making. Who’s going to be blamed for Washington’s early exit from the postseason next summer? You bet.

At the other end on the age spectrum – because, you know, Ovi is already 32 years old –, we can talk about Jonathan Drouin and the Montreal Canadiens. I don’t know where the Habs are headed. They have a good team which includes Pacioretty, Drouin, outcast-Galchenyuk, Shea Weber, Alzner and Carey Price. The pieces are there, the fans are there, the history is there. Everything looks to be in place, only Montreal always finds a way to screw things up. Does this sound familiar to Islanders supporters? New York has not seen winning-hockey since the Rangers won the cup in 1994. Nowadays, both Gotham teams are pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Yes, the Islanders have Tavares on the roster – although maybe not for so long. Yes, the Rangers have signed the most coveted free agent from the last class in Kevin Shattenkirk. Is any of that enough for the two middle-of-the-pack teams to make an impact? Hardly.

Will St. Louis be able to make the playoffs again, and if they do, can they get past the first couple rounds? This franchise is a headache. They have made so much yet so little lately, that another upset feels like coming. Even after trading Shatt to Washington at the deadline, the Blues had enough fuel in the tank to win six games in the playoffs. Just ten short of the championship, the optimistic would say. I can only think of St. Louis as one of those teams full of talented players that fall short again and again, and again, and end wasting some great players’ careers. I’d love to see Parayko and Tarasenko lift the cup. I’d love to watch Pietrangelo round the ice with the trophy in hand. Too bad we won’t witness it too soon.

You know what may come soon enough? Buffalo or Winnipeg assaulting the league. Not as soon as this-summer soon, but still. These are some of the names listed on Buffalo’s roster, next to their age: Lehner (25), Ristolainen (22), Eichel (20), O’Reilly (25), Reinhart (21). All of them had 4.6+ PS seasons last year. These are some of the names listed on Winnipeg’s roster, next to their age too: Scheifele (23), Laine (18), Hellebuyck (23), Ehlers (20). All of them had 7.2+ PS seasons last year. That’s what I call young, productive cores with huge upside. Don’t rule out surprises coming from the Sabres or the Jets.

But definitely don’t expect anything good from Arizona, Florida or Vancouver. What is the ceiling for any of those teams? Which is the best position they could reach? Would they reach 70 points, maybe 75 on a good year? None of us is high on those three franchises and their immediate futures certainly don’t look hopeful. Maybe they’re better starting to study next year’s draft pool already because it looks a tad better than this year’s body of talent. Just go Google Rasmus Dahlin.

It is possible that Carolina ends in that group too and we see Hurricanes’ scouts spread all over Europe looking for the next Sebastian Aho, but the thing is Carolina’s team should get closer than ever to the playoffs this next fall and make the postseason if not this year, the next one. On the flip side, Boston and Philadelphia may come crashing this season and – the Flyers know about this – a potential upset could be waiting around the corner. The Bruins can’t ask for more power up-front, where they are loaded, and the Flyers improved ageing but still productive core with the addition of number-two pick Nolan Patrick in the 2017 draft. Storied franchises, yes; long-shots for another title, definitely.