#here you go beth
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Highlights from Follies at Carnegie Hall
Audio from Transport Group's Follies concert at Carnegie Hall, June 20th, 2024.
The Jennifer Holiday "I'm Still Here" is too big to post, so...tough luck for all of you.
#follies#norm lewis#nikki renee daniels#kate baldwin#beth leavel#i've now seen kate baldwin perform both losing my mind and could i leave you live so when is she going to do i'm still here to complete it?#sondheim
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what do you do when the girl you spent the better part of the last decade in love with calls you up to tell you they dumped their girlfriend and quit their job and would you like to go spend a couple weeks on a beach in greece with them because they miss you and love you (not like that) . and you miss them and love them (not like that. anymore) and you’re probably not getting into grad school anyway and even if you did you can’t keep moving countries to start over because that doesn’t fix things and you could use the money you have saved that you were gonna put towards tuition to buy a plane ticket and sublet a beach villa instead. because you miss them and you love them and you’re tired of missing them and loving them has always felt good and you never feel good anymore and whatever maybe you can just have a lovely few weeks in fuckin greece and just. that’s enough you don’t have to try more than that they go back home and you stay on a beach in greece for as long as anyone else will remember . hypothetically. you should do that, right
#this is rhetorical look away!!!!#it’s an either/or : this or trying to go to grad school#but the thing is#at some point i convinced myself that a change of place and building a new life would make me happier than rotting in my parents house#in my hometown where i feel like im in a timeloop sometimes#but it wouldn’t? i Love my friends but. i am sad here and i was sad in scotland and i was sad in cambridge and. i will be sad wherever i go#it’s not a fixable thing#being around beth is a bandaid on it#so maybe i should slap the bandaid on buy a plane ticket and then. whatever i will be sad After or#i know i sound insane but the thing about being obsessive is that when one person physically has your back when you are 20 years old#it makes sense that they feel like the only thing that will help fix it#sorry this sounds strung out i have like three different things in my system that i will sleep off and be fine im not having a meltdown#this just feels like a Decision To Be Made and i thought typing it out would help give me some clarity or whatever#made a list but i wrote ‘washed your hair when you couldnt do it’ and i’ll be so honest that’s all the convincing i need to do#anything they ask of me ever#idk where my bank card is so no financial decisions tonight anyway#if u have read all of that. apologies and goodnight x#n
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maybe i’m just like sick and twisted and evil but actually the best part of so many songs (specifically thinking about songs in musicals here) is when they repeat a word or phrase in agony and feelings and . it does something to me idk
#tbh this is pretty much just about marvin ‘i never never never never never never wanted to love you’ falsettos#and beth ‘day after day after day after day after day’ merrily we roll along#i mean there’s more examples of this for sure#but these are the ones that rotate in my mind on a regular basis#also today i was thinking and i need i need to analyse the leitmotifs of merrily there’s so many it’s so good#i think that’s all i have to say here i have a normal number of thoughts this evening#it is wednesday tomorrow lasts forever and ever and ever but then it will be the day after#which also lasts fairly forever and ever but then it will be saturday and then#well yknow then the rest of the passage of time i can’t be bothered to go there right now#gonna try some composition so my regular brain may not remain intact i’ll see how it goes#ezra’s real life rambles#ezra likes music
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Non-serious Eiffel question for you: How would Eiffel spend a day at the beach? 🏖️🩵
in theory: chilling out, doing nothing, getting a tan. in practice: can't find a comfortable position to lie down in, gets bored, gets the worst sunburn known to man. complains about sand in unmentionable places. (whether he's the type of prequels disliker who thinks it's funny to rag on that sand line, or if he'd just resent the comparison entirely, well... up to you.) he needs an activity. set him loose with a metal detector or something.
#see i think hera would love to just go sit by the ocean for a while if she could. ideally somewhere quieter. and eiffel would want to go#and he would get bored almost immediately. he wants to go get ice cream.#goes in the water just so he can splash water at her. etc.#which. my other answer to this is that pda couples on the beach / in the water are some of the worst ones and i think#that should be eiffel and hera also. sorry.#eiffel would let someone bury him in the sand and regret it.#and the consequences of his actions here depend on who's there with him. minkowski would only be like 'i told you so'#lovelace would not be above slapping his sunburn.#thank you beth i appreciate it. topical question. yesterday i saw a guy with so much chest hair on the beach (good news for me)#asks
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Some "Lord of the Rings" thoughts: the problem of Frodo
As you all know, I've been thinking about Frodo a lot lately, especially about his ending, where instead of staying in Middle-Earth like most of the Fellowship do, he chooses to leave for the Grey Havens in hopes of healing from his pain. Some people, and the text itself, present this as the right choice and the best possible outcome for him, but many others, including myself, aren't so sure.
A few years ago, I wrote a whole essay on whether or not Frodo is good disabled representation, and I came to the conclusion that for the most part, he was, especially since Tolkien himself was a World War I veteran and would have plenty of experience with things like PTSD. However, his ending did not sit well with me, because to me it felt like he needed to be 'cured' in order to be happy, which disabled people like myself have seen enough times.
To me, Frodo is in a similar position to Beth March from Little Women- both kind, introverted, sweet people who become chronically ill as a result of a selfless act, and act as an inspiration to those around them. However, their respective endings also seem to show the two options for disabled characters that were very common up until recently- be cured (Frodo) or die (Beth).
However, my lovely mutual @shortfineel was quick to remind me that for all intents and purposes, Frodo gets to go to Heaven, and he's rewarded for all he's done. This makes sense if you remember that Tolkien was a Catholic Christian, and while it's not as obvious as in C.S. Lewis' Narnia books, this influence is shown throughout the Lord of the Rings- I mean, Frodo is practically a Christ figure himself. However, nowadays I doubt many people would find that comforting for many reasons- 1. We live in a more secular time, 2. Most fans probably have some sort of religious trauma, 3. Frodo, as well as everyone else who leaves with him, will never get to return to Middle-Earth or see their loved ones there again, 4. As far as we know, the only way to get to Heaven is dying, which is what ends ups happening to everyone besides Susan at the end of Narnia. (But that's for another time.)
#the lord of the rings#frodo baggins#little women#beth march#the chronicles of narnia#spoilers#i guess#I don't really know what to think about anything#but I had to get it all down#so here you all go#*shrugs*
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The fact that my mother is watching yet ANOTHER Yellowstone marathon makes me wish for the sweet release of death the show to end once and for fucking all just so that Wes Bentley can find new work that isn't this shitshow.
I've watched some of the shittiest of shitty indie movies for that man, I watched the shit he made when he was still hooked on heroin and actually stoned on camera, I watched the absolutely DOGSHIT pre-MCU adaptions of fucking Jonah Hex and Ghost Rider out of devotion to that man, but god, I'm not strong enough for this.
#Yellowstone TV#YellowstoneTV#Yellowstone (series)#Wes Bentley#Beth Dutton#Jaime Dutton#yes I did complain about this in two separate places on Discord AND here#that's how dire the situation is#this woman thinks Beth is a strong sweet woman who can do no wrong and that Jaime deserves her abuse#instead of the raging huge bitch with daddy issues self-destructively lashing out at anyone and everyone#I could go on more about my issues with post-S2 Yellowstone writing and ESPECIALLY the Beth and Jaime shit but I'm torrenting podcasts rn#anyway. please. god. anything. literally anything.#I know he won't go back to American Horror Story#but surely there's a Ryan Murphy pet project he go back to working with Sarah Paulson with on#it doesn't have to be horror! Murphy wants to make sleazy catty gay tinseltown stuff like Feud SURELY THERE IS A PLACE FOR WES THERE#I miss him and Sarah. they have such good chemistry and you can tell they have fun working together.#croak.txt#reblog.wank
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starter for @worsethanwolves from mary-beth !
it’s been what feels like a long, exhausting day, and it’s hardly past noon. all mary-beth knows is that she is in dire need of a break—grimshaw be damned—and she fully intends on taking one. she can already hear the unread books calling her name as she passes by arthur’s tent—only to stop short once she notices that he’s focused and hunched over.
she really should mind her own business, but, well…she can’t help herself; curiosity killed the mary-beth. she hesitates for a few moments before inching towards him, shyly, and finds herself subtly peering over arthur’s shoulder, unable to keep herself from asking, “ what cha drawin’ there, arthur ? ”
#worsethanwolves#here you go! i hope this works! if you'd rather have a starter from abigail or sadie lemme know!#[ novelist dreamt. ] mary beth g. / interaction.#starter call.
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i think princess bubblegum is (and has pretty much always been) neutral good and marceline went lawful good (before being turned) -> chaotic neutral (obsidian flashback era until the early seasons) -> true neutral (early to mid seasons till stakes) -> neutral good (season 7 until the end of the show) -> almost lawful good (end of the show and fowards)
#i will elaborate in Length if anyone asks me im just too tired to write it all down right now#Please Ask Me. i am Begging you to ask me.#adventure time#we dont know what marcy was like immediately after being turned but i think she was neutral evil. i think my girl deserves to have been#fucked up after what happened to her. and i think she deserves insane amounts of guilt i love it when characters are wrecked by thr Guilt#and i think in the Future (think after finn dies until around the shermy and beth era) she oscillates between#lawful good->neutral good->true neutral and back a lot but she never gets as bad as to warrant the chaotic label or worse#at least not in that time frame. shes fucking immortal so who knows what she goes through and gets up to like idk 5000 10000 years in the#future#also the way im using the alignment chart here is good/neutral/evil are about your Goals and lawful/neutral/chaotic are about your actions#...i cant remember if thats how the alignments actually work but its how i use them#ok i wrote too much im going to sleep
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#lmao apparently i was on Too High A Dose of T for starting#i finally got in with my new doctor - who is great already love him#miles ahead of my old one who asked me if i went to church and found comfort in god#and he did a double take when i told him what i'd been prescribed - a literal double take#i am now on half of what i was before whomp whomp#which is probably good until we know how my body metabolizes T#but also feels like a little step back#you have to be so goddamn patient with hrt huh#up side what i've got now will last twice as long i suppose#i don't regret going with the interim medical provider to get started because i'm 3 weeks ahead of where i would have been if i'd waited#but it is a little disconcerting to have a doctor who works for a pride clinic and prescribes hormones all the time go#''that is absolutely the wrong dose here is what you should be on''#and i am glad i am moving my care to him#thanks beth tho you were a real one for getting me the initial prescription and giving me a max dose to really kickstart things#boy stuff
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forgive me for my one-track mind but i do believe the main characters are a package deal, a pair, a duo, and the show hinges on them so i have mixed feelings about the last season. i liked that it didn't take centuries to make, to be more precise i don't care about the long wait i care about the erratic workflow that had been causing problems and seems to no longer be part of the process, and i like that quality was consistent and they're not shying away from serialization (that they set up and which was unavoidable anyway). what i don't like is that morty was almost relegated to a side character role i would guess that's partly because if they explored his perspective a whole bunch of crap would have to also be explored and shown in a different light, this is by no means the only way to interpret the show but maybe treating morty more like a serious character with a complex inner life would have to mean rick's vilification to an extent and that would be risky
#basically the grooming will continue to be explained away and the dynamic has shifted without the actual steps that kind#of growth would take because what else can you do gdsgbcy alienate part of the audience? no way#and it's a delicate balance between moments of drama and sillygoofy creative sci-fi shit‚ i understand if the latter is what they needed to#set themselves straight‚ the focus on beth and summer and jerry was fun and i like that it felt grounded#which is good for this show specifically!!! it's like with anatomy i think‚ you gotta learn that and learn realistic drawing so you can#push beyond that and be purposeful about it and develop your own style that isn't as tethered to reality. and here too it's probably best#to learn/remember every once in a while how to do the basic components of a tv show well (to make it successful and coherent and#emotionally satisfying) and then you can get real wacky with it and go into self-actualization territory#but i miss wacky!!! does that make sense#kata.txt#rnm
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i gasped....
and visited the comments on this post via facebook, to find the following:
and after going "?? guess someone met will's mom maybe....?" went Oh Wait, kim theilmann, i Know Of her: meaning, i follow her on twitter because she's a fellow aficionado and winstan specifically lol, she went to bmc at least on broadway, not so surprised if she went to summer stock too. and maybe she is just shouting out beth roland for no especial reason, or has met her Ever, odds seem increased when beth roland is also responding lol although maybe she's just doing the beth roland thing of "looking at the comments on goodspeed facebook posts ft. her son as well and readily replying to anything relevant and going 'my son as well'"
#summer stock#orville wingate#will roland#and uh GOODSPEED post the CLIP....post more pics too#i'll get a digital lottery ticket and paddle a board up the east coast and tie it off on the goodspeed dock (exists) & claim it w/damp cash#also there's mayhaps some ''who is Motivated to go to relevant Webpages & leave Feedback'' bias towards the positive#but people are very ''had a great time loved it would see it again'' in their online feedback lol. i believe it i Know it is a lot of fun..#i mean look at the lads. having fun even via this jpg#and people (who still had the Motivation to post) who have; say; talked about it just on their own twitters also had all positive responses#jokes on you i would've paid ANYTHING to see JUST this jpg of phil & orville's fun little duo piano number waugh#also given the nature of facebook comment display formatting: i can't tell if what kim has entered is ''Beth Roland !!!''#or the identically-displaying ''[@Beth Roland] !!!''#either would make sense here lmao
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people treat Jamie from yellowstone as if he wasn't Horribly neglected from birth, adopted to strangers, then emotionally manipulated, neglected, and abused some more. Shocker! The dog you raised in fear and loyalty only knows Fear and Loyalty.
#seriously fuck this show though#disgusting handleing of extremely sensitive topics#the amount of times women are senselessly abused sucks. I swear they dont even utter the word Rape until season three#oh but John happily used the word to.. describe what tourist are doing to his land.#awesome#anyways Yellowstone should ACTUALLY be about the land and be made by natives or really! anyone else.#none of you care about yellowstone and if you do I don't pft#i think it would be cool if they went supernatural horror with it. I wanna see the land fight back baby!#never get over the scene of Jamie taking Beth to a clinic on a reservation for an abortion because he was worried about their reputation#and the attendant tells him patients are FUCKING STERILIZED HERE.#like one. you really think their sterilizing the pretty little white girl walking in?#and two. WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS THAT BRUSHED OVER.#NONE of the natives problems are EVER acknowledged beyond 'ah thats awful. anyways doesnt effect us right haha?'#like FUCK. my blood was boiling.#n its such a- like- THE POINT WAS MISSED SO BAD? like yeah sucks for Beth but she's not the main victim here#They had the money and resources to go Anywher else hell go out of State. The people living on that reservation Don't.#but there not even awknowledged for a Second.#infuriating.#sorry for how rough that is I dont know if i should content warning tags#hell i'll probably delete this later. still if this needs to be tagged (feel bad for this being at end of All That) lemme know 👍
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Hi! I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the amazing comments you left on my California Problems fic 🥰 It made me so happy each time I saw another one pop up!
I love your stories too so it means a lot to know that someone whose writing I admire also likes mine.
Flick and Jake's story continues on my masterlist, so there's more in store for them! (I think I'm a bit obsessed, sometimes they're all I think about 😂)
But honestly thank you so much again, I really enjoy writing and it makes it even more special for me that you've taken the time to say such nice things!
I hope you're having a great day x
I was in the mood for some fluffy Jake, and I knew just where to go!! I’m glad I had some time to sit down with it, it was such a nice way to spend the afternoon!
Thank YOU for for writing such a fun series! Flick was such a lovely OC, I really enjoyed her spunk! I can’t wait to read the Texas Two-Step series!
#if you need a Jake fic fix go check out Beth’s masterlist!#I love leaving comments on fics!#let me shower you in compliments 🎉#here have a fic rec#answers from alexa#inbox 💌
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ship tag drop!
… wow i have a lot of ships lol… and yet i still want more 👀
#✽ (ship) — i was raised a soldier; put my weapons down to hold you (uhtred & eris)#✽ (ship) — i would never fall in love again until i found her (tyler & cassie)#✽ (ship) — i think i'll miss you forever; like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky (sansa & dylan)#✽ (ship) — i knew i loved you then; i wanna stay with you until we're grey and old (peeta & katniss)#✽ (ship) — now that it's raining; know we'll still have each other; you can stand under my umbrella (peter & abby)#✽ (ship) — the believers must honor their savior (sammy & bendy)#✽ (ship) — let me share a night in your fantasy (tokyo & berlin)#✽ (ship) — we want each other but no one will break first (rio & keki)#✽ (ship) — i can't help but want you; i know that i'd die without you (rio & beth)#✽ (ship) — i can't seem to get enough hurting from our lack of love (martín & andrés)#✽ (ship) — there's catastrophe in everything i'm touching; oh the horror of our love (inky & bendy)#✽ (ship) — my nightmares are usually about losing you; i'm okay once i realize you're here (peeta & valerie)#✽ (ship) — the dazzling smile was just beyond my reach; how sweet and innocent you were (klaus & cassie)#✽ (ship) — i was crying on the staircase begging you please don't go (alfred & eris)#✽ (ship) — this wasn't a part of the plan; never knew i could want you so bad (berlin & beverly)#✽ (ship) — the magic of love is our ignorance that it can never end (sammy & charlotte / lottie)#✽ (ship) — you set my heart on fire (rio & beverly)#✽ (ship) — you're the inspiration of this precious song (sammy & candy)#✽ (ship) — i'd climb every mountain and swim every ocean just to be with you (oscar & kerri)#✽ (ship) — you don't even know me at all but i was made for loving you (joe & cassie)#✽ (ship) — you are the piece of me i wish i didn't need (helsinki & palermo)#✽ (ship) — say you'll remember me; standing in a nice dress staring at the sunset (nairobi & berlin)#✽ (ship) — i need your love; when everything's wrong you make it right (theon & joanna)#✽ (ship) — after all this time you still give me butterflies (robin & nancy)#✽ (ship) — we are still kids but we're so in love; fighting against all odds (max & lucas)#✽ (ship) — the vacancy inside of my heart is a place that now you hold (rio & toni)#✽ (ship) — i need you more than i know (rio & zoe)#✽ (ship) — you're my pretty little vixen; i'm the voice inside your head (ramsay & zoe)
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some selfies from december
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mentally i'm here
somewhere out there, there’s a path that we chose there’s a life that we share, there’s a love and it grows
#should i write a beth pov from around this time period or would that be too deranged#that purple hair looked so good on cara aww#they both looked so good here actually#even though if i had a time machine i would go back and make beth way more butch but it's fine you live and you learn#i'm suffering not having a dyke main character anymore jfkjsds#jada should've been the main character I KNOWWWWW but again. you live and you learn.#hey can you tell i'm tipsy and emotional. well. if anyone wants to ask me character questions or like just talk to me.... hi.... i'm here :
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