#here it is benkaaoi!

[dribs-and-drabbles]

The Thai Communal Wardrobe item #52

Sky in Your Heart ep 6:

Only Friends ep 2:

We Are the series ep 13:

The Trainee ep 12:

for @benkaaoi 💚

[pharawee]

Favorite Kiss Game

Rules: create a poll with five nine of your all time favorite onscreen kisses, setting any standard for qualification you choose. Then tag more friends to join in!

I was tagged by @lurkingshan & @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle. Thank you so much! 💜💜 I just had a look at my most recent gif folder because the moment someone asks me my favourites I forget everything I ever watched. These moments speak to me though or I wouldn't have wrestled photoshop for hours to turn them into gifs. 🙏

1. Sun & Q (7 Days Before Valentine) aka the artsy existential kiss.

2. Ken & Seiji & Japan (Deep Night) aka the "baby's first throuple" daydream kiss that was way better than what we actually got in the end.

3. Him & Nail (For Him) aka the "the production company is dead to me but these two ate" kiss.

4. Thanwa & Peak (Knock Knock, Boys!) aka the "they literally kissed in a closet and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" kiss.

5. Pete & Kenta (Pit Babe) aka the "this chaste little kiss changed my whole brain chemistry and I shall now sit here consumed with headcanons for the rest of my life" kiss.

6. Prom & Nont (Playboyy) aka the "kiss me like I'm my missing twin" kiss.

7. Achi & Ji (To Be Continued) aka the "fcking finally!!" kiss.

8. Sprite & First (Twins) aka the "this show doesn't even deserve FrameRyan GIVE THEM ANOTHER SERIES YOU COWARDS" kiss.

9. Wayu & Jao (Two Worlds) aka the "uhm didn't you just impale your leg in a death trap oh ok then good for you" kiss.

I'm tagging: @sanvees @sparklyeyedhimbo @bunnakit @zhouxiangs @bengiyo

and also (what's up with tumblr not tagging correctly?)

@visualtaehyun @leonpob @benkaaoi @markmybirds (please ignore if you've been tagged before or don't want to do this 💜)

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 12 -- WHEN ONLY FRIENDS GOT 2GETHER-ED

TRIGGER WARNING: EVERYONE'S UP FOR CRITICISM HERE, JOJO AND TEAM, FORCEBOOK, FIRSTKHAO, ALL OF THEM. Read at your peril.

Well. Big deep breaths. I spent a lot of time on a show that had been marketed as not-a-BL, that ended as a BL. As a mom with not that much time to spend on watching and writing on dramas that were marketed incorrectly, I am feeling some kinda way (fucking pissed off).

So many people had amazing takes yesterday, on both sides of the aisle, regarding how the show ended (pro-ending here, anti-ending here, here, here, here, here, and here, and my dear friends @neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan did heavy lifting on reblogs yesterday, so stroll on over to their blogs for more).

I want to set up a constellation of points to touch upon before I get into the meat of this post.

1) I referred quite a bit to my review of Theory of Love throughout my watch of Only Friends. In that review, I meditate on how the majority of the general global public judges sex, and casual sex, and people who have sex and/or casual sex. Generally speaking -- even in countries that makes as progressive art on sex and sexuality as Thailand and the United States -- that's a rule of thumb that I can rely on. Sex is judged by the majority of the global public.

2) I hate to say it. I cannot believe this happened. But I was right about monogamy being an ultimate theme in Only Friends. Not just a theme, fam. A theme by which people judged others for having open, casual, and consensual sex. Queer sex. Queer sex that is so very often had outside of the constraints of a monogamous relationship.

There was a reason why that holiday party was populated by couples, except for Boston, and Boston had to grovel to them in apology for their friendship. In Only Friends: monogamy wins, and casual queer sex loses.

3) Unfortunately, in part though an analysis of Cheum inside of last week that I accidentally started (ha), I see that points 1 and 2 come together to have created a fabric and framework of judgement that Only Friends ended on.

The last paragraph in this excellent post by @benkaaoi notes that the assumption by a large portion of the OF fandom that the creative choices that were made to end this series were designed to save the sanctity -- economic and otherwise -- of the shipped pairs of ForceBook and FirstKhao. This rings true to me.

Most of the BL shows that I've watched this year are older shows, through my Old GMMTV Challenge, in which I've been studying the changes over time that GMMTV and other Thai networks, have made towards their editorial choices, attitudes, and risks in producing BLs. I included Only Friends on this syllabus to note the show's impact as a kind of zeitgeist measure of how much heat and literary controversy GMMTV could take in airing increasingly progressive queer media -- even though Only Friends wasn't originally intended to be a BL.

To the theory that Only Friends needed to save the ships... and to another theory that the ships needed to be saved in the most moralistically judgmental way that I could have ever imagined (I was actually blown away by how heavy-handed this messaging was) -- I look to the ending of 2gether.

The majority general reaction to the ending of 2gether from within the existing BL fandom in 2020, was one of guffawed incredulousness. BrightWin/SarawatTine did not kiss in the first season of 2gether. It took Aof Noppharnach to come in to make Still 2gether to indicate that these two young men may have been at least vaguely sexual with each other throughout the course of their fictional relationship.

Yet, 2gether was a massive success. Many theorize it was because 2gether was the first big BL to air during the start of the COVID pandemic, and new BL fans had time to be at home and watch shows. But I posit in my 2gether/Still 2gether review that 2gether was also successful PRECISELY BECAUSE IT LACKED SEX (and by sex here, I mean plain old kissin').

As I stated earlier: sex is judged by the majority of the global public. With BrightWin NOT kissing, new fans who may have been implicitly and/or explicitly turned off by physical depictions of queer love could glom comfortably onto 2gether, and watch a BL without the "threat" of physical depictions of two men expressing their love to each other.

Subsequently, BrightWin gained massive social media followings, 2gether made GMMTV buckets of money, and GMMTV went -- well, hot diggity.

Many of us had impressions of Only Friends as...something else than it ended up being. Early on, Jojo Tichakorn, for instance, cited an early non-GMMTV, non-BL show, Gay OK Bangkok, that he and Aof Noppharnach worked on in 2016 and 2017, as being referential to Only Friends. Gay OK Bangkok centered on a group of queer friends, mostly cisgender men with Jennie Panhan in the mix, as they lived their lives and dated away in Bangkok.

I'll tell ya, GOKB didn't end the way Only Friends did, and I'll get into that more in a bit. I believe @benkaaoi, @lurkingshan, and others are absolutely right that the ultimate moralization on casual sex that this show depicted -- and how Only Friends punished Boston for his casual sex -- was an economic decision designed to reflect on the sanctity of monogamy that shipped couples like ForceBook and FirstKhao can sell back to their fans, fans that may have actually flocked to GMMTV shows from 2gether, and that demand a fantasy of devoted monogamy from both fictional characters and professional actors who are actually only just doing fan service to earn their livings. GMMTV has known for a long time how to make money, and money the network doth has made from Only Friends, and from shipping their ships around the world to service the growing fandom.

Casual sex in fiction, casual sex that breaks up the ships.... fucks that economic shit all up.

GMMTV has taught us our lesson, a lesson that we had already learned from the no-kissing rule of 2gether. Loose lips shall not sink ships at this network. And I think we lost a chance for a big and progressively artistic zeitgeist that GMMTV could have taken risks on, if it had the courage to risk depicting something truly novel.

I want to note quickly another framework that I dug into while I was watching this show. I sent a flare to @lurkingshan before I started watching the episode that I was going to, in part, watch this last episode from my personal Asian lens. I wanted to ask myself, as I was watching this disaster -- is there anything happening here that strikes my heart with fear and doom as an Asian?

Indeed, yes. I didn't expect it, but there was a dialogue on individualism vs. collectivism.

Boston. My dear, sweet Boston. Boston, named after a city so very distant from Bangkok.

Boston was punished by his group of friends because he didn't adhere to the rules of the group. His individualistic actions and preferences -- his preferences to "roll alone," as Nick stated, would not work in the frameworks of either monogamy with Nick and/or the group dynamics of the hostel crew.

The link I linked above is an amazing answer to an inquiry I posed to dear @absolutebl last year about how Asian social collectivist paradigms are depicted in BLs. In that question-and-answer dialogue, I asked ABL Sensei about the motif of queer revelations in BLs, and how seemingly straight characters respond in kind to being approached with a proposition to a queer dalliance and/or relationship. Generally speaking, the Asian collectivist mindset is to at least attempt to respond in kind to those kinds of propositions, as one's behavioral habits are designed to be responsive to others instinctually, as opposed to only servicing oneself. To only service oneself is not only seen as selfish, but also as disturbing to the general flow of public existence among one's societies. To respond in kind means that you will not cause potentially disturbing angst to another individual or group. (Collectivism explains why Asian countries performed much better with mask mandates during the pandemic than we in the States did.)

So -- Boston filming Ray, Boston sleeping with Top, created waves in the friend group. He was so severely punished for it.

And the show iterates, and repeats, Nick's preference that Boston move forward alone in Boston's life, because of Boston's tendencies to make decisions that suit himself. As an Asian-American, I mutter to myself: god forbid.

Nick will not commit to Boston -- and yet, will also condemn Boston for making his own decisions outside of the specter of a monogamy that does not exist between Nick and Boston, and that Boston will still get judged for, as referenced in the Sand/Nick conversation depicted above.

In other words: if Boston makes a decision for himself? That's punishable. Because it might hurt someone else's feelings -- a someone else that actually hasn't committed to Boston, and/or allowed Boston to commit himself to.

This group caught Boston in a moralistic and collectivist catch-22, the likes of which I just would have never expected from Jojo and team, even if the creative team faced the economic pressures of the GMMTV bigwigs. I'm sorry to state that I am beyond disappointed in this condemnation of individualism, sending Boston alone, judged, and friendless, off to New York City to live in, what, the immoral boundaries of Chelsea? Homey, get a fucking SWEET-ASS PAD, and FUCK THESE LOSERS, leave 'em BEHIND in your cloud of airplane gas emissions. See you at the La Quinta rooftop bar on 32nd Street, friendo.

Only Friends could have ended so much better. And I understand that in the Only Friends novel, published AFTER the script was finished, that it did end somewhat better for Boston (cc @jinitak, reporting from Thailand, thank you for this heads-up about the novel!).

So. Any-fucking-way. Do y'all know how Gay OK Bangkok ended?

Of many lovely endings for the various GOKB characters, an older main character, Aof, was dating a much younger character, Big. (CC to @neuroticbookworm for our quick convo on this last night.)

Aof was sex-averse. Big wanted lots of sex. Big slept with a lot of people. He loved Aof. Aof couldn't handle Big having sex with other people, and they broke up. It was a lovingly handled break-up, written just gorgeously by Aof Noppharnach.

After their break-up, I thought Big would disappear from the show. Instead. Instead! Nong Big, the little brother to the core group of queer friends that centered GOKB, was welcomed back with open arms. Arm, Pom, Sathang (played by an effervescent Jennie Panhan), and others toasted to Big, telling him he would always be family, no matter if him and his ex, Aof, had broken up. In the queer circles of friends that I'm a part of, exes are not as commonly excommunicated as they are in straight circles.

Only Friends could have been this. Something, a little something, like this.

Instead, Only Friends punished a friend for acting outside of the rules of their group.

Boston was punished because.... because Only Friends had to end up being a BL. For the sake of the moolah, for the sake of collectivism, for the sake of the shippers who'll buy tickets around the world to see ForceBook and FirstKhao perform fan service on stage.

I just didn't think that the show would be so brutal, on so many levels, in the end, to people who want to have casual sex. I don't think any of us expected this. But, it's over, it's done, and the piece has been said -- GMMTV said, no casual sex today, and here's how we actually feel about it.

I'll see you over on Gagaoolala for Playboyy. Deuces, OF.

(It was an absolute pleasure writing meta with the Ephemerality Squad -- onto the next one! @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @ranchthoughts @twig-tea @slayerkitty @thatgirl4815 @distant-screaming @clara-maybe-ontheroad)

[brazilian-whalien52]

So the boop and a conversation with my mutual (@killerandhealerqueen) made me want to bring back an old tumblr tradition! So prepare yourself

QL Blogs

@subtextsays / @thisonelikesaliens / @chitaprrrrrrrr /@petraplatypuspan / @qt-qtoey / @my-rose-tinted-glasses / @iamdarthbader /@telomeke / @sunshinechay / @khathastrophe / @wen-kexing-apologist / @ohtehhh / @negrowhat / @shannankle / @23point5degree / @callipigio / @sparklyeyedhimbo / @respectthepetty /@slayerkitty / @ebdbd / @braceletofteeth/ @absolutebl / @kristsingto / @lurkingshan / @hyperfocusmadness/ @babetanatat / @mikuni14 / @benkaaoi

Danmei

@ahhhnorealnamesallowed / @killerandhealerqueen / @averydedicateduck / @foralleternityidiot / @dual-domination

Nerds

@geometricalien / @kennyomegasweave / @momofmysquad / @hhuta / @rhomaa2 / @invisiblewords-invisibleworlds / @uozlulu / @anaiblack / @gloster / @nenehyuuchiha / @jackpoompkin / @kami-no-ikku / @morganadelacour / @dollopheadsandclotpoles / @hometothecanyonmoon / @lamb200345567 / @eros-avalon / @italianpersonwithashippersheart / @artemis-in-space / @bianxiousandcute / @kattahj / @kuronekonerochan/ @hautegirl07 / @superwholockian93 / @free-to-be-no-one-but-mee

Otaku

@latinokokonoi / @hyperbolicgrinch / @enteisabo / @sundaesonthursdays/ @ashedddaisy

Chilling

@chaotic-aro-incarnate / @mistsinthenight / @loomss / @apeirotilio / @mellstheprincess / @thepancakelady / @desmonds-comic-sans / @gravedangerahead / @peatbogbody/ @diekatimitdemhutohnehut / @of-fishes-and-birdcages / @justheretohangout / @softneomiro / @umbelina-e-helena-na-luz

Now you may ask what does this category mean? Well nothing, most people I follow post about anything. I just thought it would be easier to find blogs with similar tastes this way. I based the categories on the day I open their tumblr and what they are posting. Chilling are for people that I saw a lot of memes over fandom stuff and nerds is for more western fandom (tv shows, books, movies) and also anime. I also know that a lot of danmei fans don't necessarily watch other QL that is why I put them in a different category. The others are more self explanatory but like I said, I love to follow chaotic posters like me so it is worth checking them all. By the way, I am quite forgetful so there is a lot of blogs that did not make here, but if I do another one I may add.

[respectthepetty]

Because my reading comprehension skills are lacking when I'm excited, Shadow is DONE filming. This was a teaser for it.

They are about to film the OST's MV.

Don't ask about platforms or release date. The Twitter folks scare me, but if anyone is gonna know, it'll be them.

I'll keep digging.

@scarefox @bengiyo (you didn't need a teaser but here it is), @italianpersonwithashippersheart, @littleragondin, @benkaaoi

[gillianthecat]

Challenge: make a poll with five of your all time favourite characters, and then tag five people to do the same, and see which character is everyone's favourite.

Thank you for the tag @aliceisathome!

This is limited to BL, and a somewhat arbitrary set of five, because I couldn't possibly choose an absolute top five (and this without even having watched most BL of the past year! It could be even harder). If asked to pick again tomorrow the list might be completely different. But I do love all of them.

I haven't been keeping good track of who's done this already, but I will tag @petrichoraline, @fluidsoul31, @woodsfae, @ommited-miscellaneously, @chitaprrrrrrrr (in case you want to make more polls lol) and @benkaaoi

Here are gifs of all the candidates, for your viewing pleasure (or in case you need a reference).

Ichijo Souta

Charn

Da Un/Da-woon (so many romanization variations)

Xu Qi Zhang

Mitsuru (left)

[guzhufuren]

Hello! Who are your favourite people and creators on here? Could u please do a blog rec?

hi bun! i will divide my beloveds in groups so it's easier to browse them <3 not all of them follow me and i don't follow all of them but everyone here is still one of my favourite blogs so!!

gifmakers/editmakers: @spicyvampire @agendratum @smittenskitten @magicaldreamfox1 @forcebook @sugarbabywenkexing @liyazaki @bustinbustinbustin @bangzchan @jimmysea @chanstopher @shuyis

artists: @blackwatervial @mortimerlatrice

people: @jdotsodomite @supernovasimplicity @kissporsche @shadowetienne @rythyme @hyunpic @ahxu-laowen @blmpff @shen-zhen @ditch-lily @itsza @legendaryrooftopscene @yeetlegay @snake-and-mouse @sweet-william-writes @superbcandyangel @sapphicblight @chord-assasination @skz-maybe-incorrects @vegasandhishedgehog @arewedoneyet @just-slightly-chaotic @thiccstan @newyearknwwme @benkaaoi @lu-sn @a-slut-for-vegaspete @ophillya @misspoetree @dramarec @porschesbabydaddy @vegaseatsass and probably more people but i have the worst memory

[celestial-sapphicss]

shannen @icouldhyperfixatehim thank you for making this bingo!!!! i had so much fun making mine and i still have so many thoughts

blank template here

THIS is absolutely completely my widest imaginative wishlist and im pretty sure none of it would happen (except maybe GF series) BUT A GIRL CAN DREAM????

tagging some more people: @solana-ceae @dimplesandfierceeyes @dimpledpran @grapejuicegay @benkaaoi @dribs-and-drabbles @sparklyeyedhimbo @distant-screaming @cankersoregirl @petrichoraline @loserlesbianongsa @dewtu @loveable-sea-lemon @lovelyghostv @jyuubin @wanderlust-in-my-soul @telomeke @tay-tawan @mabellsmora @deshimango @casualavocados @fourthnattawat @chinzillas @dragonsareawesome123 and anyone else who's interested! (if you want 🤭)

[lurkingshan]

✨2023: A Summary✨

Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

Tagged by @dribs-and-drabbles, thanks dribs! It's kind of fun to go back and see what I was on about at various points this year.

January

This blog was a mere bebe this time last year and I hadn't started posting anything substantial yet, so nothing of note here.

February

most popular — Making fun of Hira in Utsukushii Kare 2 (affectionately)

favorite — Praising Moonlight Chicken's character writing

March

most popular — The Glory does revenge right

favorite — Whining about people using the friends to lovers label wrong

April

most popular — Celebrating Queen Ae Ri from The Eighth Sense

favourite(s) — Making sure people understand Ji Hyun is a drama dork, helping to kick off the most batshit week of discourse in T8S fandom, and of course the first (of many) appreciation posts for Porsche's sweater

May

most popular — On Step By Step removing a scene critiquing BGP because of fan outcry

favorite(s) — 10 Things I Love About WDYEY and 10 Things I Love About Khun Chai (please watch them if you haven't yet people!)

June

most popular — Having a ball with King the Land

favorite(s) — Breaking down Pat's effect on Phupha in Our Skyy 2, the complexity of family trauma in Our Dining Table, and Jeng's reaction to his failed confession in Step by Step (ugh remember when this show was good). And of course this was the month that the La Plue meta round up was born.

July

most popular — Bitching about romance discourse (it was about King the Land at the time but it's quite widely applicable lol)

favourite(s) — Hysterical praise for La Pluie's conflict writing, kudos for Be My Favorite's character work for Kawi, breaking down where Step By Step went wrong

August

most popular — Ah the good times when we were still so amped about Only Friends

favorite(s) — Every moment of the My Ride rewatch, great moments in subtitlery from Laws of Attraction, and praise for Sing My Crush

September

most popular — That one time I actually liked a Mew thing in Only Friends

favorite(s) — Trying to get y'all to watch Love in Translation, comparing Someday or One Day and A Time Called You, clarifying the differences between Boston and Brian Kinney

October

most popular — Boston and Nick my beloveds (it would be shocking if they didn't make this list they are responsible for many of my most popular posts)

favorite(s) — A couple I Feel You Linger in the Air breakdowns: why the romance works despite being underwritten, and Fong Kaew's excellent character arc

November

most popular — Goofing on the unseriousness of Kiseki: Dear to Me

favorite(s) — Breaking down how the writing choices in Only Friends sent toxic messages and final thoughts on the IFYL finale

December

most popular — Japanese BL starter pack

favorite(s) — Simping over Mohk simping over Day in Last Twilight, yelling about Cherry Magic Thailand, kicking off bl superlatives 2023

--

In addition to all the people dribs tagged that I am double tagging because I want to see your answers (@wen-kexing-apologist @grapejuicegay @btwinlines @twig-tea @rocketturtle4 @waitmyturtles @telomeke and @respectthepetty) I am adding some other folks I know wrote/created a lot this year because I'm curious what stuck with you most: @bengiyo, @ranchthoughts, @jemmo, @chickenstrangers, @chicademartinica, @slayerkitty, @my-rose-tinted-glasses, @colourme-feral, @blmpff, @liyazaki, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @troubled-mind, @benkaaoi.

[sparklyeyedhimbo]

see @benkaaoi it's not only me making these jokes

and now guy is throwing his ball(s) at nawa

are you all catching what i am putting down here?

[twig-tea]

Collection of Be My Favorite Meta after Ep 11 pre Ep 12

[I will try to come back and update this too so please tag me if you see good stuff not mentioned!]

Sorry if me organizing things this way offends anyone, this is mostly for myself to be able to refer back to specific thoughts from everyone's meta so I've grouped posts by points being made which means some posts get linked a bunch of times and a some points in each post may not be represented below because my brain can only hold so much. Please feel free to let me know if you hate it!:

Episode 11 didn't give us the resolution we wanted re: the lie in ep 10: @lurkingshan was right out of the gate with this take.

Maybe Episode 12 will fill the communication gap in ep 10 like we all wanted by giving Pisaeng a chance to say what was left unsaid: @bengiyo put this in his original thoughts and I am still thinking about it! @incandescentflower wrote a really great post on some of the ways Pisaeng leaves things unsaid

Pisaeng time travelling puts Pisaeng and Kawi on equal footing: @bengiyo wrote the definitive piece on this and credit to @grapejuicegay for making a similar point and expanding on it; @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle made this point too.

There was something off about the montage in ep 11: @bengiyo made this point; @waitmyturtles added some notes about why and @visualtaehyun added a couple notes on this too; @jjsanguine posited an interesting wrinkle about the stasis of time travel and whether that could be what needs to be fixed

[on the other side of this with me is the "the montage was satisfying" crowd: @thegalwhorants wrote this; @incandescentflower I think your post counts too; gonna link myself here too]

The ep 11 scene with Pisaeng and the doctor is extremely important and painful: @heretherebedork wrote a beautiful post about this; @nemesis-21 did too; @marbles290 did too; @visualtaehyun put this in the current Thai political context; @snidgetwrites added the Indian political context

They might go back to decide to fight for equal rights: @rocketturtle4 said this really well

They might go back and decide to use the system to their advantage and get Kawi and Pear to marry: @grapejuicegay laid this one out

They might go abroad to be able to get married like Pisaeng's mom wanted: @marbles2900 wrote about this

Kawi's death may be unavoidable: @williamrikers summarized this nicely here; @shortpplfedup seems to be hinting at thinking the same?, @thegalwhorants posited this too; so did @knighthacker here; also theorized this in my ep 11 reaction post; @minorista wrote great angst about this and @neonsbian added the twist of them riding the time loop to stay together

The point may be that time travel isn't the answer/can't solve everything, and love takes work: @waitmyturtles made this point, and I love it; @stuffnonsenseandotherthings also made this point here (sorry I missed it earlier!)

Pisaeng may try to break up with Kawi in the past: @rebel0777 laid out options for how this would play out; @tinycowboybro noted Pisaeng foreshadowed this; @zzh3 added that maybe Kawi goes to find him on the same beach

Has Pisaeng already been time-travelling?: @waitmyturtles added this wild theory that the montage was time travel Pisaeng's perspective

(Counter to this, @pandasmagorica points out that because of the mechanisms of time travel in this show Pisaeng cannot do a perpetual time loop.) [NEW]

This means the timeline we saw has been erased: @ellaspore wrote this very eloquently; some folks have chimed in to say they're ok with this (@rocketturtle4 and @bengiyo)

BUT WHERE IS THE CAT: @sparklyeyedhimbo made possibly my favourite observation thus far

For anyone confused, here's how the time travel mechanism works in this show: @telomeke wrote a great explainer out, and @benkaaoi makes an important point about why it matters, @jjsanguine laid this out too (I'm going to be selfish and link my reblog thread because I built on this a little in my reply)

[ADDED:]

I tried my hand at figuring out the timeline for the show here.

@stuffnonsenseandotherthings makes the point that by shifting from Kawi to Pisaeng as the protagonist, this show is queering the narrative

@grapejuicegay added some thoughts about the timeline mechanics and how it affects the consciousness of Kawi and Pisaeng.

[updated 4pm EDT Aug 7]

[kptssecretsanta]

THE KPTS SECRET SANTA 2023 REVEAL POST

Ho Ho Ho!

It’s time to conclude the second edition of the KPTS Secret Santa :)

Hope you’ve all had a lovely holidays and that you’ve enjoyed all the amazing gifts that were posted!

I’d like to give special thanks to @everyforkedroad, @artfreaksmeout, @mightymightygnomepriest, @nuwildcat, & @tinycharliechoo with helping me out as pinch hitters, making sure no one would be left empty handed! Thank you darlings <333

If you’d like, you can still add your works to the AO3 Collection! Just poke me if you do, and I’ll add the link to the Tumblr gift post as well. I’ve just revealed the archive as well. You can also repost your gift(s) to your own Tumblrs now, of course :)

That’s all from me in terms of service announcements, hope to see you all again next year! 

-x- Leonie (leetje)

*****

Are you all ready to find out who your secret santas were? :D

The list is in alphabetical order:

@angsty-violet made a gift for suzteel - gift here

@artfreaksmeout made a gift for thisautistic - gift here

@artfreaksmeout made a gift for wangxian234writes - gift here

@artpo made a gift for mortimerlatrice - gift here

@asylumwise made a gift for wiccawrites - gift here

@camuizuuki made a gift for benkaaoi - gift here

@crumchycow made a gift for shou-jpeg - gift here

@dr-lemurr made a gift for thestarscanalwayslookatus - gift here

@everyforkedroad made a gift for asylumwise - gift here

@everyforkedroad made a gift for nuwildcat - gift here

@fangirlwithoutafandom made a gift for angsty-violet - gift here

@garsideofthemoon made a gift for artpo - gift here

@haahka made a gift for fangirlwithoutafandom - gift here

@jeffsatyr made a gift for justanothervariant - gift here

@justanothervariant made a gift for haahka - gift here

@lady-guts made a gift for camuizuuki - gift here

@mightymightygnomepriest made a gift for dr-lemurr - gift here

@mightymightygnomepriest made a gift for monochrome-crisis - gift here

@mortimerlatrice made a gift for garsideofthemoon - gift here

@no1petesimp made a gift for artfreaksmeout - gift here

@nuwildcat made a gift for everyforkedroad - gift here

@nuwildcat made a gift for lady-guts - gift here

@pareghostic made a gift for the-water-nixie - gift here

@shou-jpeg made a gift for ayansbff - gift here

@shubaka made a gift for xxatlasxx - gift here

@sunshinesanctuary made a gift for lexluthorswigcap - gift here

@suzteel made a gift for tsttoain - gift here & here

@the-cookie-of-doom made a gift for viva-yas-vegas - gift here

@the-water-nixie made a gift for pareghostic - gift here

@thearvariblues made a gift for tinycharliechoo - gift here

@thestarscanalwayslookatus made a gift for shubaka - gift here

@thisautistic made a gift for mightymightygnomepriest - gift here

@tinycharliechoo made a gift for sunshinesanctuary - gift here

@tinycharliechoo made a gift for thearvariblues - gift here

@tsttoain made a gift for jeffsatyr - gift here

@viva-yas-vegas made a gift for the-cookie-of-doom - gift here

@wangxian234writes made a gift for zelenchai - gift here

@wiccawrites made a gift for punchlove-blog - gift here

@wildelydawn made a gift for crumchycow - gift here

@xxatlasxx made a gift for wildelydawn - gift here

@zelenchai made a gift for no1petesimp - gift here

Go forth and shower your santa in some loving!

[rocketturtle4]

Be My Favorite, Lets Reflect

Okaaaay I’ve decided this is happening today after all because who knows what the combined power of Only Friends and Laws of Attraction is about to do to my brain.

Full Disclosure: I’m an optimist and I’m easy to please. If I finish a show, that typically means I liked it. This final episode could have been an actual disaster and I probably would have given this show 8/10 and watched it again in the future.

Tagging the people who have been watching along with me, in case you wish to read my final thoughts, getting to be a part of this experience with you has been an absolute delight no matter how late you joined! @shouldiusemyname @thegalwhorants @plantsarepeopletoo @lurkingshan @pandasmagorica @twig-tea @waitmyturtles @benkaaoi @telomeke @dribs-and-drabbles @stuffnonsenseandotherthings @clairificusrex @williamrikers @grapejuicegay @dropthedemiurge @bengiyo

With all that said here goes

Themes that felt unfinished

The whole thing with any and all parents, but especially Piseangs felt somewhat unresolved/glossed over.

I have no idea what the point of the Kwan/Not storyline was??

Themes that felt reasonably resolved but could have been pushed more

Looking back I kind of like that the fighting for rights storyline was most strongly played out through Max. This was consistent all the way through and while I do definitely think this show could have chosen a different direction and taken a stronger stance, I’m not mad about this.

I genuinely think that the fact Kawi tried and then DIDN’T LIKE the rollercoaster after episode 10’s EXTREMELY ON THE NOSE POINTING (apparently this one still invokes strong emotions huh) kind of make’s ace!kawi pretty close to canon, they clearly still have sex which is totally fine in my books but like, my dude is ace.

Where have I landed overall?

Using my unnecessarily lengthy 5 category system of rating and review this show ended up at 92% 21st out of 82 BLs 12th out of Thai BLs, Greater Recommendation  

I want to be clear here, 92% is HIGH and I loved this show A LOT, the ending very much included. Also I normally wait longer to give something a rating so this could waver but likely only by a couple of percent either way

What Was My Takeaway? -It’s about Control

Okay so this is definitely influenced at least in part by my readings of @lurkingshan (here) and @waitmyturtles (here) posts and I loved how the framing of the serenity prayer in Shan’s takeaway (original post by @shortpplfedup here) lined up perfectly with my thoughts so I will put that in here

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,  The courage to change the things I cannot accept,  And the wisdom to know the difference

So much of this show was about Kawi learning that control and change isn’t resolved through force but instead through trust and patience. In the first half of the show, Kawi tries again and again to alter things into perfection, and he fails each time. He learns that only his own actions can be controlled, not even his own feelings are entirely within his grasp. He learns to hold on to the things that matter and let go of what can not be.

He father dies but he gets a chance to see him again, and to convey his feelings sincerely building up the relationship before the end.

He learned that even with a second chance, some things can’t be changed, and no matter how hard he tried his dad still died.

He gains a beautiful found family, so different from the family he was trying to build with Pear before he understood himself.

I feel like episodes 10 & 12 dragged my right down into my feels about the things control can change. Because to me, everything that happened in the theme park in episode 12, juxtaposed in my head against everything that happened in the theme park in episode 10 highlighted how much change control can wrought.

In episode 12 we have the shifted perspective, Piseang has come back, Piseang is panicked and fearful and Kawi clocks this immediately, and what does he do, he stays completely calm, in this same time, but in the original timeline (ep10), Kawi is lacking all control. Max has pointed out to him that Piseang probably want’s sex and Kawi is NOT SURE how he feels about that. He tries to regain some equilibrium by taking them out but refusing to ride and ends up more and more prickly and uncertain at Piseangs every nudge.

Opposite this we have our episode 12 timeline where our focus is all different, Kawi is pulling Piseang along with him and encouraging him to accept the future even as they enjoy a lost moment of the past. A moment now filled with much greater joy for both of them because with the pressure gone, Kawi is ready to face anything if it makes Piseang happy.

I have seen some interesting thoughts about Kawi being affected by the knowledge of his possible death, and maybe this is it, but to me this change felt different. For some people it’s easier to be strong when someone else is being weak, because we can’t always be strong for ourselves, sometimes we have to be strong for others. Kawi’s focus in this second timeline was outward rather than inward and it fundamentally changed the experience for both of them.

Piseang hadn’t really been weak much in their relationship, even in the most developed future where they aren’t together, he is there, steady and waiting for Kawi to need him.

In this episode Kawi had to be steady and this put them on more equal footing than ever before because Kawi has grown so much. We have seen his change, his arc was immense and, to me at least, immensely satisfying. Getting to see this Kawi in episode 12, the one who is calm and sure in the face of his partners uncertainty highlighted how these two will work and grow together in the future we had already seen.

It made me like episode 10 more

(I have specific thoughts about consciousness and whether or not the latter scenes in ep10 occur with Kawi’s knowledge of future!Piseang laid out at the bottom of this very interesting thread. In short(ish), my takeaway is that the memories of Kawi’s second day at the amusement day are dormant but present in Kawi’s mind, influencing his actions. To me when he reaches out to Piseang at the restaurant towards the end of episode 10, after Piseang has travelled back to the future

this is an extension of the reaching out we see Kawi doing throughout episode 12

This gif was posted by @wanderlust-in-my-soul as a part of this post which is all the times Kawi and Piseang hold hands in ep 12 (often with Kawi reaching out). Even if Kawi doesn’t consciously know it, he is influenced by the events of episode 12 in the latter parts of epiosde 10, this also makes me feel better about the episode 10/11 sex scene for the record)

It made me like episode 11 more (and I already liked this one!)

It made me glad to have been so wrong about where I thought episode 11 and 12 would go.

Because the finale drew us back in to the core of the show. It let go of the things that could not be finished and brought together the things that could. Making us the audience sit with the very themes Kawi had learned.

@dropthedemiurge actually put it so beautifully that I’ve just stolen (and slightly paraphrased) their words straight out of this post

“the final episode was not here to yell, but instead to speak softly and soothe your worries until you find the courage to live and stay smiling, content with discovering the right way to live”

I was left warm and fuzzy, content and satisfied, I could never be mad at a show for that.

[queersouthasian]

I saw different ver. of this, so here is mine even though a little late,

10 ANXIETY INDUCING BL MOMENTS

1. My dear Gangster Oppa, ep 5:

"You are lucky" moment

The way I held my breath when he started loading the bullets back, then when I realised he filled in half, the anxiety I got

They get it, like, I knew nothing would happen yet I started getting anxious, and then the click indicating an empty coloum and the relief...

2. Pit Babe, ep 8:

"Charlie x Babe in the building" scene

The entire time I wanted them to keep on checking, keep an eye open 'cause ANYONE COULD WALK IN

3. Bed Friend, ep4

"Uea with his assaulter alone"

I actually had a mild panic attack here...

4. My beautiful man, the movie:

"Hira gets stabbed"

This was very unexpected and I genuinely for a moment thought they goona pull a modc on us...

5. Triage, ep6:

"Tol dies from second cardiac arrest"

How dumb of me to even think the loop finally was going to end with so many eps left but I think it was the sudden chaos that caught me off-guard.

6. Manner of Death, ep7:

"Stealing the laptop"

The car's horn went off so did my heart beat...

7. Never Let me Go, ep1:

"Palm taking off the gun's magazine"

DIAO WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU KNOW HOW TO USE GUN, PALM

8. Love in the air, ep7

"the abduction" scene

The way I was desperately waiting for someone to fucking help them, oof

9. Kiseki: dear to me, ep13

"we all thought he died, didn't we?" moment

Didn't know a bouquet would give me this amount of anxiety but oh well...

10. Laws of attraction, ep7:

"CHARN GOT SHOT" scene

Never knew a police siren would give me so much relief but oh well...

Anyone who wants may do this, also let me tag @kurosawascrowsfeet @forcebook @prapaiwife @benkaaoi @bunnakit

[petrichoraline]

UPDATE: the site seems to be very shady so if you want to leave me a message please do so in my inbox!!!

i'd quite appreciate it if you left me a message 🥰

thank you to @sparklyeyedhimbo and @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas for tagging me! i'll do my best to soon send my messages to you and to everyone else doing this 💓

i'm going to tag quite a lot of people - no one should feel obligated to do anything!! but you might be interested in creating one yourselves and in case you do (or already have) i'd be more than happy to gift you smth so please let me know 💌

@idletype @howitrulyam @khaotunqs @gizkasparadise @solana-ceae @catboyjosten @littleragondin @tenprem @catwalkninja @hello-n-goodbye @spicyvampire @stormyoceans @celestial-sapphicss @gillianthecat @lelephantsnail @jyuubin @benkaaoi @dangermousie @tytangfei @loserlesbianongsa @chicademartinica @voicesofreasons @respectthepetty @sommmnus @xiaolanhua @justafriend-ql @magicaldreamfox1 @imminentinertia @dekaydk @fangirlmedstudentblog @alcairsei @forcebook @rythyme @sugarbabywenkexing @chawarin-panich @poetry-protest-pornography @soundwin @lovesickfolly @smittenskitten @potatoes-in-bloom @sollucets @saturnskyline @biochemjess @electric-rabbits @lotusclouding @thewayofsubtext @uptownseblaine @peerless-airplane

i'm using the opportunity to thank everyone, tagged or not, who's shared the joy of being in a fandom with me this year :) whether we've randomly interacted once or twice or we've talked through asks and dms - you made my experience on here more exciting and fun <3 i'm sending all of you lots of love and i wish you happy holidays! 💖

[iguessitsjustme]

Challenge: make a poll with five of your all time favourite characters, and then tag five people to do the same, and see which character is everyone's favourite

I was tagged by… @my-rose-tinted-glasses @italianpersonwithashippersheart @heretherebedork and @pose4photoml

Just five? JUST FIVE??? How cruel. I’m going to stick to QL/bromance just to make this even possible. So my favorite character of all time won’t be on this poll. I don’t know who created this game but they’re cruel and I love it.

It took me so long to choose and I should have been getting ready for work instead. I don’t know who all has done this so if you’ve already done it feel free to ignore me. Tagging @troubled-mind @benkaaoi and @neighborhood-yogurt