#here have my word vomit!!

[p4nishers]

crowley, drunk off his ass: and i was yk just some fucked up soul born in cold and rain but he was my fucking sunlight or whatever

hozier, frantically writing on a napkin: HHHMMMM TELL ME MORE

[saintbepis]

Yes, actually! Аnd no!

I spent adult money on a title, Holding the Fort, a flag, and a piece of the fatherland, haha. They sent it with very official-looking document holders and so on, it’s all very regal and pretty.

But honestly, it wasn’t really the fandom that made me buy the title. Because the fandom gives Sealand the short end of the stick, as most people’s only contact with him is the horribly mistranslated English dub, which wrote him off as a brat and a gag character.

But the manga made me look into Holding the Fort, which I bought first. The history of Sealand is above and beyond what anyone gives it credit for, and after reading all the things that Michael and his family have gone through to keep that fort? Starvation, literal gunfights with improvised shotguns, a bombing attempt by the English government, driving themselves into debt and putting themselves in harm’s way to keep a rotting fort no one cared about, but which Britain was nonetheless obsessed with reclaiming… that made me buy it. The titles are expensive, point blank. But the money goes to preserve a structure that’s nearing the end of its intended lifespan, and with it, a good bit of wild history. So zero regrets.

I don’t care if he’s one of the most unpopular heta characters, or if English fandom gets him all wrong, or if it’s cringe to have spent so much money on it… I’ve been hyper fixated on this war relic of a micro nation — and his badass American football team — for way too long, and these are some of my most prized possessions. 🤗

my only question for the Hetalia fandom tonight is did it lead anyone to actually purchase a noble title from Sealand?

was poking around on the Aerican Empire's website and found out you can apply to be a citizen over a Google Forms, then remembered to become a citizen of Sealand you have to pay for an ID card or title

[sunclown]

Zs dads part 3: Name stories

[fettiowi]

thinking about pink diamond and spinel again imagine you lost your best friend. you lost them because of something youve done. the one person who understood you was hurt and taken away by your family who belittles and constantly mistreats and misunderstand you then your family turns around and makes you a new friend. someone to keep you busy so you dont bother them. this person is very clearly molded after the way that they see you: immature, loud, naive, inconsiderate. they're a personification of everything wrong with how your family treats you. you didnt ask for them. you wanted your friend, not this doll created out of misunderstanding who you are and your desires. you still have some fun with them, but it feels like they set you back. a constant reminder of how your family views you as immature and childish. you wanna show your family you can handle yourself you wanna grow up. you wanna show that you are not that imaginary mirror theyve created for you. you wanna leave that life behind and create the future you truly wanted for yourself. and so, to finally move you, you leave that behind. you put the personifications of the created assumptions about you behind and finally grow and move on except... they were never just a mirror. they were never just an expensive toy to spoil you. they were never just a personification of everything they saw in you. they were their own person. someone with their own thoughts and feelings. someone who never knew any of this. someone who loved and was loyal. someone who then thought you disliked them as a person.someone who then grew into someone who nearly destroyed everything youve loved because of what youve done. but you never knew . you were already gone. you never got to meet them. they never got to meet you.

[almayver]

As much as I do love tragedy and romance and horror and action and drama, my personal favorite thing is when media is kind. And for me, this show was so kind. Peaceful Property made you laugh and made you cry and then took your hand and said:

“Look, the world is pretty grim. It is tough and mean, and most of us are helpless when forced to face so many things in it. And sometimes people die in horrible, unfair ways, often made worse by people so focused on themselves and their greed that they forget their humanity. Sometimes we ourselves are so focused on our shit that we make horrible, terrible mistakes. It's awful. It's sad.

But you can't just wallow in that fact, because all is not lost. There are still so many home cooked meals, and genuine words of appreciation, and kind gestures, and love, and healing, and forgiveness. There is friendship and community. There is family. There is peace, as hard as it is to believe, as unreachable as it seems, there is peace in the midst of all this. And sure, it won't make everything magically better. The world won't stop being unfair. But it's something good. And that matters. The small things aren't world changing, but they are life-changing. For you, for the people you love, for your neighbors, for the strangers around you. And that's good. That's enough.

Go eat your favorite meal, maybe share it with someone, and enjoy a moment of peace with us here at the table (under the Cok Long sign)”.

And it will remain in my heart forever for saying that. Thanks for the tears and the laughter, the stress, the memes, the theories and the queerbait.

Peaceful Property, you were made with so much love and care, and it definitely came through. I will miss you. A lot.

Goodbye, the best little ghost hunting family ever.

[cherrirui-official]

Friendlocke Violet Gijinkas (Part 1/7)

Since the edited episodes are starting to come out, I figured that bc of that and the fact that I've been keeping this in the back burner for a loooong while now, might as well complete all my friendlocke violet gijinkas!! Some are gonna stay the same while others are gonna have slight/ complete redesigns, so please keep that in mind!

I plan on posting them in order by groups of three, so there's gonna be seven parts in total, all of which I'll be linking here when done vvv

(Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven)

!! These will contain personal headcanons I have for the cast, little fun facts, and also spoilers for Friendlocke Violet (for both the edited vids and the streams) !!

@saltydkart-reblogs

And that's pretty much it, designs under the cut!

LARK:

HUGE nerd. spent most of his time during the Uva Academy studying different kinds of pokemon as well as different fighting styles he can utilize once he is able to go out on his own journey with his very own trainer! Too bad that didn't really help in the long run...

His entire wardrobe consists of McDonald's related outfits. It's fucking insane. He even has some from long LONG ago that aren't available anywhere else.

The bubble pattern on his hair is able to move and change. Nobody knows how this is possible, not even Lark himself. All Lark knows is that his hair looks incredibly stylish!

Speaking of bubbles, he has the ability to blow bubbles whenever and wherever he pleases!

Often keeps himself extremely clean and gets upset if even a small speck of dirt gets on him, despite this he somehow smells like McDonald's food and axe body spray. Disgusting. He's so cool!

Even after death he still likes to hang around the other team members as a ghost, often getting to know the newer members as well as reuniting with the old ones. Sometimes they see him, sometimes they don't. It usually depends.

SARA:

Due to being a human in her past life, Sara is able to actually speak with the other humans in the pokemon world. However she usually doesn't due to it being seen as extremely weird and out of place. She did slip up once while talking in the presence of Arven, who thought it was the weed making him hear things.

Oinkologne are usually unable to do much with their hooves but Sara spent nights practicing how to knit with her new hooves and now she's able to do it flawlessly. I don't know how she managed to do that but go queen!

When first joining the team she'd often have the urge to eat her food related companions. It was a strange time for Sara, but she managed to overcome it.

When Peppy gets sick, she usually is the one who nurses him back to health. She was a human once so she often is able to figure out whatever sickness Peppy has and treat it properly. I suppose she's like a second mother to him.

The bag she carries with her is full of thread that she collected from various Tarountula she encountered on the journey, as well as little things she knits together in her spare time.

For the most part, Sara forgives... but NEVER forgets.

Did you guys know that Sara has a new YouTube channel? Check it out!

Pastey:

Before joining the team, Pastey was a nameless wanderer. He's been down every road in Paldea and knows almost the entire region (except for Area Zero) like the back of his hand.

He's gotten hurt pretty badly throughout the run (ie. the Mikey fight, the Atticus fight, and ESPECIALLY the final battle), however, he does not gain any (physical) scars from those fights. This is bc he's basically an axolotl, and axolotls are usually able to heal without scarring.

Pastey's "arms" are, to put it simply, mud prosthetics. More info here vvv

Pastey HAS met Mall Bingo once before the run, however, he doesn't recognize her. The only reason he does not recognize her is bc she wears glasses. (You know how people somehow aren't able to recognize Superman bc he wears glasses in his civilian attire even tho his face remains the same? It's basically like that lmao)

Unlike the lightbulbs he eats, the gasoline he drinks isn't really mandatory to his diet. Gasoline is like alcohol to him and he drinks it like an absolute CHAMP.

He goes fishing when there's nothing else to do or when he can't sleep at night. He doesn't do this bc he thinks it's fun or anything, only bc it's a "good time passer" or so he claims. Other members of the team will often sit with him and vent out anything that's troubling them at the moment, and Pastey is always there to listen to them.

And that's pretty much it. Next is Joe, Hannah Ü, and Mykyie!

[azu1as]

au where cm goes undercover in a brothel/tavern as a courtesan.

It initially started out as chung myung wanting to help setup an information network for mount hua. This way, they wouldn't have to rely on the beggar's sect alone, meaning they can never get double-crossed. Let's just see you try, Hongdaekwang 💢

surprisingly, chung myung ends up enjoying his trips to the tavern because of the way the sisters there supply him with endless sweets and the nice oils and scents they use on him.

The scent of one of the hair oils reminds him of Tang Bo. It's…nice.

Of course, this is all a plus to the crazy dirt and tea that the sisters and tavern-goers provide him.

Inside the tavern where the night turns hazy as warmth and alcohol loosens lips and tongues in more ways than one, chung myung finds that people there are more willing to divulge secrets and information that would normally cost a fortune (read: several threats) if he turned to the beggar's sect.

Chung Myung also finds out that people open their wallets more frequently with a simple swish of a robe and basic swordless dances.

He can already see Chung Mun's appalled and exasperated face heaven if he knew Chung Myung discovered another way to scam people.

A little plum blossom step here and he has clients throwing wads of cash and coins at him, begging for another show.

'Suckers.' Chung Myung hides his wildly gleeful smile. 'AHEM, I mean my generous clients.'

Not only was he getting blackmail material on several notable figures, but he was also learning about smaller movements from major families thanks to their visiting associates.

He was also earning a lot of money. Can't forget about that.

Unbeknownst to him, however, he becomes a very well-known courtesan for his dances (chung myung's just going through basic sword forms, but shhh nobody needs to know) and supposed beauty.

Rumors say that his moves are so graceful and elegant that flowers bloom with every step and that heaven, if it could, would stop to watch.

And as for the rumored beauty...

It's all because of the mystery and allure that his thick, gauzy mask brings. People say that the courtesan's beauty is simply too much for the mortal man. so much so that he had to hide his beauty lest people go crazy.

The rumors inflate—as they often do—as they're passed around to the point where a large majority would agree that this courtesan is the type of generational beauty that would start wars.

This ends up as a major concern for Mount Hua since the tavern falls under their sect's jurisdiction.

So the Sect Leader sends some of the Swords to check up on the tavern to ensure that their security is sound while Chung Myung was 'away'.

Maybe even offer additional protection, just in case, what with the increased number of visitors from different villages and even sects due to the ongoing festival and a rumored dance performance from the tavern with the blooming courtesan at the center.

And when the courtesan takes center stage that night, each swordless step brings a plum blossom petal fluttering into the evening air, bringing with it a sweet scent and coloring the dark blue sky with a warm pink.

It's a homage to Mount Hua. That much is clear.

The courtesan does one final pose, an empty swordhand outstretched towards the sky.

Baek Cheon knows he isn't the only one who falls a little in love.

»—————————–✄

I'm currently trying to breakthrough my writer's block so other on-going fics/asks in my inbox have been going, but very slowly HAHAHA

Here's the link to the twitter post that spurned this word vomit <3

[becauseplot]

Okay so something about the spiderbit wedding has been sitting in the back of my mind for awhile now and I don't know if anyone's talked about it but I just recently figured out the words to articulate it (kind of) so here we go!

Prior to the q!spiderbit wedding, a lot of the fanart/fanfics I saw/read depicted Cellbit waiting at the altar while Roier is walked down the aisle by either Foolish or Vegetta. Which makes sense! It keeps with the idea of the father "giving away" the bride (or in this case, the groom) at the wedding, which wouldn't be possible for Cellbit since he doesn't have any parental figures on the island. So, I was a little surprised when the wedding day came and Cellbit was the one to walk down the aisle while Roier waited at the altar. I was a bit disappointed at first---they missed a chance to do a sweet little spin on a wedding tradition! (Found family* my beloved <3)

But then I kept thinking---something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle to the altar where Roier, his soon-to-be husband and trusted confidant, stands; where Felps, his best friend whom he just got back from an unknown fate, stands; where Forever, the friend he wronged but never lost faith in and wants to do right by going forward, stands.

Something about Cellbit being alone and walking himself down the aisle towards them like he is making an active choice. After the fear and the isolation, pushing others away and hurting those close to him so he could make himself a martyr because he felt like he had to face the Federation alone and that he could only rely on himself---now choosing to walk towards the altar where they stand---walking towards his happy ending.

Because this is his happy ending. I'm not at all an advocate for the idea of "oh romance/marriage is the only thing that will make you happy in life" but not only is being married to Roier something Cellbit desperately wants, this wedding means so much more than just getting married.

Of course, this isn't really the end, but for someone like Cellbit, it's a start. A new beginning. A brand new chapter of love, friendship, and trust. So yes, Cellbit walks down the aisle at his wedding, and he does it alone, and he does it because he deserves it, and he does it because he wants to, and he does it because he has to, and he does it because he needs this.

*I would just like to note that found family does not have to follow a nuclear formula with parent-child roles and I don't wish to propagate this misconception. That's just how Roier's family is structured in canon. Foolish and Vegetta are boyfriends and Roier calls them (or at least Foolish) "dad" that's just how it is and it is beautiful &lt;3

Also apologies if I get any lore wrong. I'm not a Roier or Cellbit main viewer but I learn a lot through what I do watch of their streams and what I absorb through my dash. Hopefully this still makes sense.

[kugisakiss]

set approximately around the time of Satou's omiai case

[mishy-mashy]

Just wanted to compare Midoriya and AFO in panels (DFO stuff) from different fights. Again, small things I thought were at least worth noticing

Midoriya's panels come from when Dabi told the world about Endeavor and their family situation, as they were fighting. This was back when Shigaraki was broken from his tube prematurely.

AFO's is when Bakugo aborted him.

First, the insistence of moving forward, even if their limbs are weak or won't work as well as before.

Then the fact they both came up with using a Quirk like this (below), from desperation. Who cares if their bodies won't work? They have Quirks they can fall back on.

And are both thwarted by someone who has a combustion Quirk (flames VS explosions), in a fight that boils down to family and brother problems for the Villain.

And something different from these two events, I'm gonna move to when Bakugo fought Midoriya past curfew, and when All Might faced AFO in Kamino,

When both want to win, they start spewing insults. AFO insults people to get an opening and win. Midoriya does it when he wants to win more than save.

Midoriya knows it's gross to say he thinks like that, but Bakugo is his image of victory. Meanwhile, All Might is an image of victory to Japan; and AFO gains an edge when he can rile up that symbol of victory (peace).

Or maybe AFO just riles up OFA users in general. From All Might, to calling Midoriya useless in front of Nana and Yoichi..

Either way, AFO likes to talk shit, and it trips up people. And he does this so he can win. He does it logically, but it also happens when he gets riled up, like when he ate Tenko (418) (get your head out of the gutter).

Midoriya spews insults naturally when he wants to win, when he wants to win more than he wants to save.

They think alike, is all. Both thought of using their Quirks through their mouth when their bodies weren't enough (innovation with Quirks that aren't originally theirs), and when they want to win, they insult their opponent.

[zeb-z]

I’ve made a billion fucking drafts and can’t find the words to talk about cellbit and bagi from today. how the fuck do you explain the intricacies between a brother who has lived a life that has sharpened him to cut what he touches, and a sister who had to live with his absence? a man who has to see the childhood he never got to have whenever he looks at the woman he now knows is his twin? said twin who cannot understand why her brother would be anything but glad they are reunited? how do you get across that tangled mess of emotions cellbit had to get him to burn his old pet worm? the paradox of longing for what could have been while desperate to get rid of any reminder, with a healthy dose of paranoia that anything could be a federation bug. or the pure devotion bagi has to decide to stick with her brother even though he is not close to the same as he was when he went missing? the unfairness of it all, of cellbit being taken and made into a killer before he turned 14, of bagi looking for him at the detriment of her own safety and self, of ripped up childhoods and everything that could have been? the fact that the first thing cellbit asks is what he could have done to deserve it? the disgust he holds for himself for what he’s done, and the anger he has for the federation that’s taken everything from him, and the resentment he has towards bagi no matter how unfair it is because she never had to go through what he did? how after bagi swore to help him burn the federation down, cellbit went to bad instead, because bad was there and fought alongside him, and he trusts bad because he’s seen him at his worst, and all he feels like doing is his worst right now? the two of them so similar still because they’re consumed by their need for revenge, while bagi just wants to leave the island? how the fuck can you summarize all this and the emotions that accompany it?

[fullmetal-scar-simping]

Here's my fma 2003 (featuring Conqueror of Shambala) character tierlist. If I had to sum up my perception of the 03 cast vs the bhood one, it would be 1) 03 is focused and interwoven, and 2) quality >>>>>>>> quantity.

To be clear: because I feel that the 03 adaptation does not labour under a desperate need to pity and empathize with its war criminals and antagonists (though it does make sure its core antagonists are more than stock-standard villains), there aren't really any characters I vehemently reject the way I did for the Brotherhood tier list. Even the characters that don't particularly catch my interest or are fairly mundane in the grand scheme of the show I see more favourably than the characters in a similar tier level in Brotherhood. Where I find the 09 anime's character lows are abysmally low, 03 highs are imho astronomical.

There are some very, very minor characters that I didn't feel the need to include (my Broho tier list similarly eschewed equally highly minor faces too). I didn't feel like such inclusions would really be in the spirit of a tierlist.

Anyway, here we go:

Lengthy breakdown below the cut [not spoiler free]:

First tier: The SSS-tier. What do I even say about these two that I haven't already repeatedly expressed on this blog? These are the characters I can't stop thinking about. Whose stories, personalities, character arcs, and tragedies I've been mentally unwell about for over a decade+. They're my obsession and they're the highlight of every rewatch for me. Whenever they're onscreen I am rendered into a rabid howling ape (joyful).

Me @ 03 Scar and 03 Lust 5ever:

Scar: My sweetie-pie honeybear sugar-muffin sillymittens babygirl. Look at my damn username. Do you think I'm normal about Scar, especially THIS version of him? A character like him, handled the way the 03 team wrote him, is not only a rarity but a fucking achievement. In a media landscape that relies on regurgitated, jagged strawmen of the violent resistance of the oppressed, of revolutionaries/radicals who exist solely for the writers to strike down with great punitivity, 03 Scar breaks the mould. He manages to subvert every derogatory caricature that a character like him should have fully fallen into, and come out a nuanced, three dimensional character who never truly relents in the fight against the state military. Where Arakawa writes Scar to be yet another in a long line of fictional radicals made to heel at the boots of the military, the fma 03 writers wrote Scar to show why the people who are targets of imperial violence fight back to the bitter end. And, man, the sensitivity they imbue him with on top of that! They allow him to be vulnerable, to struggle with his place in a world that wants everyone like him fully eradicated while also experiencing what it's like to be a pariah amongst his own people; to grapple with his past and also have the capacity to feel for those who have suffered similarly as well. He grasps that there is no half-freedoms. If Ishbal isn't free than Liore isn't free and neither will anyone else be free. He witnesses numerous times that without direct violent action the system carries on its project of wanton human misery. And it often goes unacknowledged, but this Scar does attempt the route of (relative) peace. He renounces his homicide of state alchemists, he joins a group of Ishbalan refugees and follows his master. Yet without fail they are beset by tremendous violence: state-hired mercenaries enact a slaughter of Ishbalans and destabilizing the camp, they're accosted by a racist biker gang solely because the Ishbalans stepped out of their state-designated grounds, and Yoki rats the now-nomadic Ishbalans to the state, resulting in the feds rounding them up and carting them off to a concentration camp. At that point he can no longer stomach this ineffectual path. If the victims of this systemic oppression fail to bite the hand that beats them, then the perpetuation of their suffering never ends. If he must renounce any future he could have had, if it means he must suffer and relinquish his own life, if he must turn away from Ishbala, then he will. "My sympathy will not be spent on soldiers. Neither should yours," SIR. SIR YOU DROPPED YOUR CROWN. SIR. This line alone makes me INSANE.

We get glimpses of his adolescence, the loss he and his brother suffered, and we really get to understand what solidifies Scar's hatred of alchemy early on in his life. It's not just a cultural and religious dictate against the practice (seriously, can we blame the Ishbalan religion for being anti-alchemy), and it's not just the fact that alchemy is a lethal tool of mass destruction that can be used to wipe out an entire country: it's the fact that he witnessed a writhing mass made from the corpse of someone he and his brother cared for, and the loss of his brother's sanity as he pursued the philosopher's stone to undo this travesty he committed. And yet Scar is gifted that same detested alchemy by the brother he rejects, and he has to find some greater purpose that somehow straddles his previous beliefs. He's a resistance fighter struck down, aimless since barely escaping the massacre years ago. He would have died if he stayed back, should have died when Kimbly tracked down their particular group of fleeing Ishbalans, and in a sense [name unknown] has indeed long since perished. And for so long he was unable to face the pockets of Ishbalan refugees with any confidence due to the indelible taboo that is his right arm. He's displaced and homeless, wandering the streets of his oppressors, trying to find answers to the insignia of his sibling's arm, and finally he's snapped back into action upon encountering yet one more soul perverted into an agonized form by alchemy and the state. He's principled to the core, yet not as a flawless messianic figure. His final victory, his moment of reclaiming personal love alongside obliterating an armada, is also the endpoint of his tragedy. His triumph is his grave, and god. fucking. damn it. that is so---- !!! The way he connects, reflects, and contrasts with other core characters and the overall themes of the narrative too, I-!!!

Listen, I love the mangahood Scars even with the reformist liberal bullcrap tacked onto their arc, but when I say I simp for fma Scar, THIS is the fictional man I simp the hardest for. When I say Scar is right? All versions of Scar were right to kill state alchemists, but it's 03 Scar who was never once wrong. Accept no substitutes, because no one is doin' it like him.

Lust: My darling WIFE. I would make a Philosopher's Stone just for her and no one would be able to stop me. She was one of the earliest characters I latched onto during my first watch of this show 100 years ago. No matter who I introduce to fma 03, they all walk away having fallen in love with her. She's a treasure, my sopping wet meow meow who's also more than capable of tearing anyone to ribbons. Yet more than that, I wish she could have had the tranquil human life she deserved. She's everything to me. And no matter how many times I rewatch this adaptation, Lust and her arc, her internal struggles, and the philosophical dilemma of what constitutes humanity and what are the consequences of creating a dehumanized class of people leaves me on knees. And god, the way the writers very slowly develop this growing dilemma and her individuality is astonishing. From one of the first shadows we see stalking the Elric's journey, a mysterious and malevolent femme fatale pulling the strings, a woman whose face Scar can't shake, to her assuredness in her humanity and her goal to reclaim as such, a being whose patchwork memories of who she once was slowly upending her allegiances, her having a strong knowledge in alchemy even when she literally cannot perform it because she will stop at nothing to shed her shackles, to her rebellion against Dante and the other homunculi, and- ok, you know how we watch Lust gaze at human beings and ponder at their futile existence? Seeing them as alien, and to an extent lesser? And how she can no longer deny wanting to return to humanity as her memories continue to gnaw at her? To the point that she embraces people as people? How she counters Sloth's disparaging, dehumanizing remarks against Tucker's mindless Nina clones and states "She's his daughter"? She defends the humanity even in those that the world would write off as subhumans or objects? She was an Ishbalan woman repurposed into a tool by the very people who destroyed her homeland and she will no longer be their puppet. She was never just a femme fatal, she was never just a humanoid monster, she is never treated like just another villain to be annihilated for the benefit of the protags. Like. Do you understand? Do you understand the finesse with which the 03 team wrote this character? Do you understand why people go crazy for her? Do you understand why she's a platinum-tier baddie? God, Lust is just incredible and I weep just thinking about her! Her despair causing her to desire mortality, and connection to the one remaining person from a past that many could debate was never entirely her own? UGHHHH, my HEART. Is obtaining mortality a drawn-out suicide of its own? If for a homunculus the only way to become human is to die, then was that locket Scar dredged from the grave that never possessed her body his unintentional way of making her human after all? I wonder, as her consciousness faded away once more, if she felt relief. If she felt peace. I always hope that she did.

Second tier: S-tier. Our protagonists, and a worthy centrefold for this adaptation. They're phenomenally written: their journeys and inner demons are so compelling. The way love is the fount of their hopes and traumas, what keeps them clawing through the horrors of the world, to hang tight to each other. All the while this codependence being a self-imposed punishment. Shunting out everyone else and hurting themselves and others as a result. They so desperately want to do right, but their self-destructiveness and alliance with the military leaves pain in their wake. There is no comforting and morally convenient writing contrivances to shield them from the repercussions of their beliefs and actions. These boys grow and part of that growth into adulthood is understanding that the flow of everything, that inherent and unshakable interconnectivity of life and lives, of systemic violence via state and alchemy, means they cannot live as though in a vacuum, doing as they wish and remaining ignorant and, as a result, becoming wretched. If they want to rise above destroying others, they must take responsibility, and how that differs between them is fine-tuned to their idiosyncrasies. How each brother partook in committing alchemy's greatest taboo informs how they view violence and sacrifice.

Like the entire cast, Ed and Al are so human. It's both beautiful and heartbreaking, and one of the many reasons why I always come back to this anime. I couldn't ask for better versions of the Elric brothers and I'm glad that this version of them are the ones permanently embedded in my mind as THE Edward and Alphonse Elrics.

Note: I place the CoS versions in this tier not because I see them as different characters but rather to highlight that I do love what is shown of their outcomes, and that I appreciate the way it ties well with where we last see them in the show.

Ed: A boy steeped in the dogma of his father's science. His hubris and his love tears apart what remains of his dying idyllic life, and it's something he truly never returns to. And yet, it's not all his fault. He's an orphaned child alongside his little brother, with a mind too sheltered from the true ugliness of the world yet brimming with the capacity to perform feats that few can master. His circumstances and choices lead him down a rabbit hole he can only escape by moving forward and changing. He can't flee to the past, he can't remake the present into whatever he wishes, the world carries on despite what he and his brother go through, and if he wants to be more than the monstrous humans he encounters than he has to actually fucking reflect and reconsider his perspective constantly. And he's not perfect at changing either! Some part of him still clings to what could have been, that maybe it could be possible to at least restore Al's body. He's one of the most dogmatic characters in this entire show, and the narrative does not allow him to simply remain as such and parade it around like hot shit. It's not science vs religion, it's scientism and the hegemony of the state (which can include religious institutions and beliefs) vs those seen as subjects or material for the whims of those in power. Ed actually has to contend with his bigotry too! He shoulders a sisyphean grief and guilt, and you know deep down that he will never truly be rid of that curse. Yet he shows signs in the end that he understands that he can't eternally stagnate in it; returning to a world he struggled to see as real and getting on that caravan at the end with Al and Noah felt like he could at least adapt to the task of living, even if that dream of perfect redemption remains elusive. I could babble on and on, but this all to say: I love fma 03 Ed and no bog standard shonen-ass racist is ever gonna usurp his spot for me.

Al: This version of Al is not stuck as a yes-man to his brother, and he isn't sidelined until it's convenient to wheel him back into the plot. Al's perspective on nearly everything tends to differ from Ed's. Whether it's on more inconsequential matters to, in time, major issues, Al often sees things differently from his older sibling. The 03 writers leaned heavily on the solitude and confinement of being the final vestige of a human's existence tethered to an inanimate object, and they explore this existential crisis and dysmorphia not just in the one arc everyone fails to empathize with (you know the one), but all throughout the show. There's a reason Al has an easier time understanding the perspectives of his fellows who have been literally and figuratively dehumanized. He's compassionate and sweet, and this trips people up. So many see him as a nothing more than a cinnamon roll when he's got a much harder edge than that. Far more so. Al suffers a waking nightmare 24/7, without break since he can't sleep. Though he doesn't allow that to destroy his capacity for kindness, it doesn't mean he handles every problem and obstacle with unceasing grace. He sees the utility in violence, he gets why people lash out, he wants to be fully human again and he still wants to preserve lives when he can. Al wants to think of others, but his memory is chipped in places, and his lack of bodily functions, flesh, and nervous system means he feels that others have lost sight of him too. It's a struggle to feel real when your current circumstances have you caged and alienated. You end up wanting Al's body back as badly as he and Ed do, that finally seeing him physically restored to the 10 year old body he last occupied is both a relief and utterly surreal. And without his memories, he was doomed to repeat the self-centered actions that he and his brother had to learn from over those many years. I can't see him regaining his memories being a wholly jubilous outcome for him, but having the one person who mattered more than everyone else back in his life is a trade I'm sure he would make time and again.

Third tier: The A tier. Love 'em to the bone, and even love to hate one in particular here (it's Dante. Of course). This anime has no shortage of excellent characters, and I love 'em to bits.

Rose: One of the bravest characters in this entire show's roster. An orphaned teenage girl who adheres to Letoism in the hopes that her faith and work for the church will lead to the miracle of her partner returning from the dead. After the curtain gets pulled back on Cornello, Rose has to learn to rise above the pain and live. All with the dawning riots and military invasion that will challenge her in ways most hope never befalls themselves but is a reality for the targets of imperial aggression. She doesn't back down to armed soldiers and generals, she helps plan a massive retaliation against the invading forces, and she goes on to care for Liore's orphans while working to restore a liberated Liore. (Unfortunately CoS does flanderize her. I know in my heart she would never accept the military or the Armstrong family colonizing Liore, and she wouldn't see Armstrong's alchemy as preferable to the plan she herself was a pivotal part of executing to stop Amestris.) For as feminist as everyone claims to be, post-2010 fma fans sure love writing 03 Rose off because of the horrific rape she suffers. This is not the be-all end-all of this character, and it's sus af that someone being a victim of this specific type of war crime means there is nothing else to her, and that the writers are simply racist misogynists. The story never reduces her to a "pitiable" victim, nor does it salivate at the very real sexual violence that militaries routinely employ. Fuck you if you look down on Rose. Rose is everything.

Noah: I will defend Noah to the death, and I'm taking her haters down with me. Her pain from a lifetime of being an outcast, used for her gifts and tossed into the clutches of fascists breaks me everytime. Her desperation to escape a racist hell to a fantasy world (that would have ultimately been no less cruel to her) makes sense. She gets confirmation of the impossible, of something that should have been nothing more than speculative fiction. Like the Elrics and so many others in this series, she learns the hard way that paradise doesn't lie behind fantasies. She's sullen and introverted, and this is no doubt an armour for having seen the most hidden secrets, darkness, and fragile dreams of everyone who pays the going price for her skill. How can she connect with others consciously and mutually when people pull away/avoid her once they learn she can peer into their truths? Facing the scorn of anti-Roma racism as well as the scorn for being a seer would tear anyone down. She's perpetually alienated from everyone, and she just wants to be free to exist in peace. Man, I just love her so much and want endless happiness for her. I've said it before and I'll say it forever: I love you, Noah fma!

Winry: Now this is my Winry! I never understood why the fandom pre-09 hated her so much (besides bog standard misogyny) but I was always in her corner. She has a great, balanced personality: physically and mentally strong, capable of being soft and caring, boisterous and contemplative, absolutely willing to shirk rules and laws, with a mischievous streak too. She's not a moralizing package deal to the Elrics, she's not reduced to ship fodder for Ed nor a future doting wife, she's an automail freak and she's damn proud of it. Her having her childhood friends pull away until they're no longer reachable is sad, but she has so many people in her life that she'll be able to carry on into the future. Whether the Elrics are in her life has nothing to do with the quality of her characterization here, and I stand by that forever. Also, her consistent gentle kindness towards Wrath? Providing him with automail and remaining calm even when it falls to disrepair? 03 Winry best Winry.

Sciezka: 03 Sciezka is a gift. This bookworm becoming close friends with Winry, the two of them teaming up to do some sleuthing for state secrets was some grade A stuff. She's bubbly, intelligent while still believing in the paranormal (can you blame her). I love how she stays in contact with Gracia and Elicia, and how she uses her photographic memory to continually help others. She'll trespass into a military facility, go on the run from the feds, crawl into an underground city all with Winry because damn it all, she might be terrified but she ain't spineless. Cheers, girlie. Cheers

Envy: The 03 homunculi and the necropolitics between them and the human beings who make them was the og hook for me the first time I watched Fullmetal Alchemist. And listen, who hasn't been entranced by Envy at least to some extent one time or another? Yeah, he/they/she is so gender, and we gotta recognize that. But what really gives 03 Envy their staying power imho is his far more intimate reason for being dubbed 'Envy' by his horrible mother. For 400 years they have been made a pawn, transmuted by scientist parents who likely never showed him the care and love one would want from their progenitors even when he was alive as a human being. For 400 years they helped sow misery and chaos, grew to reflect Dante's misanthropy and delight in seeing themself as superior to those who can die, those who are not banished to the underbelly of society, those who aren't seen as fundamental sins like he is. All the same, they desperately want revenge against a father who not only mistreated and abandoned them, but who then goes on to form a family he more obviously loves and humanizes. To be discarded when you wanted that love after all, and learn that the person who did this to you was indeed very capable of treating others with affection and respect, just not you! It was you who 'had' to be your father's roadbump to his own self-improvement. And that stings. Envy's anger issues make so much sense. And what I appreciate so much is that the 03 writers don't insult your intelligence here. They are not desperately trying to get the audience to forgive or excuse Envy for their hand in untold slaughter and atrocities. They present his tragedy without demanding you empathize with them at the cost of dehumanizing the victims of genocide. (I hate you forever Brotherhood). And bless the 03 crew for not making Envy a cackling, bumbling buffoon either (seriously, wtf was all of that???) Envy isn't an idiot, but they are barely able to withhold the fury that bubbles under the surface. Also leviathan-dragon Envy's design absolutely fucks and I will not entertain any argument to the contrary.

Sloth: Sho Aikawa et al, thank you. Thank you for taking the snippets of manga Ed's nightmare and making it so, SO real. And thank you, 03 team, for not settling on a one-dimensional interpretation of the definition of sloth. You gave us the perfect antithesis of the fridged mother, of the perfect martyred madonna who is nothing more than fuel for the boy/man characters and their pain. Sloth reveals the lack of autonomy and consent that comes with human transmutation. Creating a homunculus may often be done out of a despairing love due to death, but it is an act of exceptional hubris that disregards not only the pitfalls in that ritual itself but also in the desecration inherent to transmuting a being who can never be the one who died. Sloth's memories do not goad her into racing to reclaim herself, they are a toxin driving her resentment. If her previous self's love and flaws as a person led her children to pervert the rhythms of life and death, to defy the cycle of one is all and all is one and eject her from that belonging, and now she has to exist as a quiet abomination embedded in a racist fascist dictatorship? Then why should she ever accept and forgive her creators? She's one of the homunculi I grew to be utterly fascinated and awed by with each rewatch. And as a bonus, she's a solid reminder that fma 03 was doing it's own thing right from the very beginning: because we see her by Bradley's side. And we see Ed recognize what he has done the moment he spots her. Sloth's final words are some of the most haunting in this entire anime, and I will never be able to land on a solid interpretation of her intent. Her words take on just the right form to slip from your grasp, denying the Elric boys and the audience any ease of mind.

Izumi: Izumiiiiiiiiiiiii! Buddy, listen. If I can fawn over Scar who almost murders Ed and Al, I can fawn over Izumi even despite her having (non-lethally) beaten Ed and Al's asses. She has two solid reasons for being incensed by their actions since they parted ways, after finding out that the Elrics 1) joined a fascist militia, and 2) performed the one thing she hoped, taught, and demanded they never do. I'm not arguing that beating them to the extent she does is necessarily justified, but damn man, I get where she's coming from. And she treats them more sternly because, although she does see them as her children, she also understands that they have entered an adult world. If they're going to shoulder such power and responsibility, they must expect to be addressed as such. She's my imperfect acab queen. And that's another thing I love about Izumi! She repeatedly fights head-on against the state and shows them no deference whatsoever. She'll barge into a hospital and demand info from Mustang, she'll barge into the facility that kidnapped her homunculus child, hell she'll kidnap a state alchemist (Ed), and she'll partake in a coup too. All the while she never stops badmouthing the military. Izumi having performed human transmutation, training kids who go on to do the same, and having been trained by one of the alchemists who pioneered this horrid practice is *chef's kiss* storytelling. Her mangled viscera and its disabling effect on her life is never played for laughs, and we're not constantly encouraged to giggle at the "crazy strong & violent housewife". Watching her fight is also just so enjoyable, her moves are so fluid and succinct. She's a badass without feeling like a flat character. She deserved far better than to be die offscreen, but her embrace of her baby at the Gate gut punches me without fail.

Dante: Our absolutely rancid antagonist, inside and out, literally and figuratively. One of the world's most formidable alchemists who, in spite of that potential title, wishes to live a rather hermetic life. And why wouldn't she? She cannot stand her fellow humans, she believes herself to be above them while no less saddled with their qualities. Even when she can see the truth about alchemy and how it functions, she still lived a grotesque life of treating everything and everyone like pawns to be played. Lives are material and souls are fuel. Why shouldn't she get to do as she pleases when surely the human existence is too putrid to consider worthy of regard. If one is all, and people are a part of this equation, and they're so foolish and malleable, then what part of this world should she see as off limits? And the way the dead religion of Christianity becomes a decorative set-piece for her: how she views homunculi as sins of their creators, the mangled adams and eves of careless non-gods; they have the comparatively effortless immortality that she wants but she has the skeleton key to manipulating matter and energy that homunculi cannot possess. So she's their ring leader, the one who plants the seeds to ensure they continue to be birthed from The Gate. Surely she must have found in her studies of this extinct theology that apocalypses are a means of reconstituting flawed, sinful people and places. And surely she was behind the Mother Mary, Baby Jesus, and Joseph imagery that she manipulates from the 'holy' Lioran girl and her child, and the man who wasn't responsible for said child but arrives in time with a fury that can be made useful to her, who can act as a rallying zealot for the Liorans and play to a culturally religious predisposition. It's all one big, twisted morality play only she can see. Dante is obsessed with symbolism and oozes it herself. She isn't interested in the things that a woman seeking immortality normally would by your average hack writers either, and I love that! This is what makes her both so interesting to analyze and so fun to despise. And her main theme alongside songs that use her theme's motif are so fucking good! She deserves the demise she gets, a thousand-fold, but I'm glad she's the major villain this anime gives us.

Maria Ross: The one military officer I actually like with little to no reservations in this entire franchise. She takes the safety of Ed and Al so seriously that Ed, in his red water alchemic-surge state, mistakes her for Trisha when she embraces him. She goes to bat for Winry and Sciezka by helping them escape Sloth, she busts out Russell and Fletcher when they're arrested and sentenced to death, and she teams up with Izumi to fight her fellow military personnel and Archer. This Maria Ross is why I was losing my mind when Brotherhood sikes the audience out about Mustang "killing" her (though yhe Broho Maria Ross is. Eh. Nothing special). I really l love this character and her kindness. Now leave the military, girl.

Fourth tier: Yet more characters I love. These first four tiers are really for the characters that make me feel "Oh hell yeah, so-and-so is onscreen!"

Paninya: Fuck yeah, Paninya! I always want more of her, but what we see of her makes her memorable even beyond her single episode. Her appreciation for Dominic providing her with the automail that brought her back from rotting away in alleyways, and how she tries to prove the quality of his work to others makes me love her. As I mentioned in the Broho tierlist, I appreciate Paninya's mischievousness, agility, softness, and brazenness. Seeing her in the aftermath of the accident that killed her parents, with all but one of her limbs destroyed will always put my heart into a blender. There'll be times when I haven't touched fma for awhile, and she'll just spring to mind unprompted. If there's a Paninya-centric spinoff or light novel, then lemme know so I can get more of her! Thankfully in this adaptation Winry isn't some white chick berating her to follow the law, but instead a partner in crime and fast friend. If I got just a liiiiittle bit more of her in this anime, she would easily be one tier up.

Greed: Straight up the coolest homunculus. He doesn't get nearly enough time in the spotlight, but god does he leave a lasting impression. His care for the rejects of society will never not make his particular style of objectification of others oddly charming. I love how each of the English VAs for both fma anime play him, but 03's is the one I associate most with this character across continuities. I feel like Chris Patton best captures some of the skeeviness that clings to Greed's personality without making him an outright asshole. He comes across as just a bit more grimy, a bit sketchy, and it works so well with his contrasting earnestness. You can definitely feel that although Greed was never intended to be around until the end of the show, there must have been some time cut from his arc. If only his human self's romantic involvement with Dante had been a bit more expounded upon in the show, rather than being moderately hinted at and more outright stated in additional materials. But hey, what we get is so tasty that he still sits high on the list for me. Also, major shoutout to that legendary final fight between Ed and Greed. The animation, choreography, and artistry are magnificent and deserves a spotlight for being so downright addictive to watch. His death is a crater in Ed's psyche, and his melting form unforgettable to me.

Wrath: Man, I'll absolutely defend Wrath from the naysayers. Poor feral kid wanted to return to a mother, any mother, but most of all Izumi. The slim potential for Izumi, Sig, and Wrath to have lived peacefully together was there, so tantalizingly close to being realized. Then Envy and Dante catch up to him. His corruption via the red stones subtly points to what may potentially allow Dante to keep the minds of homunculi so malleable to her desires, and why she can lock and unlock their attributes and autonomy. Furthermore, Wrath highlights that to exist inside the Gate with a human(-adjacent) mind is a horrifying, inexplicable experience. He fears returning to it, he wants a mother, he has no malice until he's taught it, and he has the rare gift of alchemy he obtained from the same boys ready to tear it back from him. His propensity to wail given everything he went through and everything he lacks, with the mind of a child, isn't some "annoying" character flaw, it's an understandable reaction to a bizarre set of circumstances from one raised in hell and who escapes into the Yock Island woods for years. Wrath, you're cute as a button and I support you.

Hohenheim: Wow, this dude is mega fucked up. And I genuinely love that about Hohenheim of Light. He's an enigma, and unlike a lot of other characters whose time is brief in this anime, I rather like that he remains as such. We get hints towards the monstrous person he was for the majority of his 400+ years of existence, and the numerous atrocities and lives he extinguished in order to keep himself and Dante perpetually living. His original appearance being, as it turns out, that of the future design for Father has an interesting meta-textual crunch to it, but back before the manga even got to its own big bad, it seemed as though Hohenheim sought men who looked most like his original physical form to inhabit. Which has intriguing implications on his view of bodysnatching and what he wants of himself versus Dante's more flexible choice in new bodies. His heel turn towards trying to live as a normal person and raise a family, only to have to (poorly) come to terms that his newfound outlook means he has to accept his rapidly rotting flesh and his soul's depleting capacity to maintain a body. So he abandons his family, which sends his wife and two new children down the path of ruin. He's no angel even with this change of heart, as he sees no issue with working alongside fascist occultists on Earth to return to Amestris. We only get so much out of him regarding his acknowledgement of how he destroyed Envy's life/unlife, but the fact that he willingly forces Envy's fangs through himself as both an apology to a dying son of old, and in an attempt to reunite his two living sons makes me crazy. I love what a mess this scumbag of a man is.

Russell: The Tringham brothers are defo faves. I do have to place Russell above his little brother since I find his flaws and smarmy characterization quite enjoyable, especially as it bounces off of Ed's abrasive, equally smarmy ass. His struggle with the ethics of his studies crashing against his goals very nicely mirror the Elric's, just at a smaller scale. Love the fact that he continues to steal Ed's identity even long after moving on from Xenotime, and that it nearly lands him and his little brother the death penalty. If we could have somehow gotten more of him and his bro, they'd both be higher on the list, but hey. His plant alchemy and what that infers for all bio alchemies (chimeric vs human transmutation vs plants vs what little we get hinted at regarding non-human resurrection) makes my brain whir in the best way possible. As a plant lover myself, I gotta give props to Russell for his expertise in the area.

The Slicer Brothers: Where this homicidal pair fall flat for me in Brotherhood, they hit so much harder in fma 03. The entire Lab 5 arc shakes me to my core, no matter how many times I watch it. The quandaries on the prison industrial complex, on mass murder and the humanity of its perpetrators (which never reaches levels of maddening preachiness in favour of perpetrators ala mangahood), and the power states hold over those it incarcerates and what science is in the hands of the state were formative for me. Or rather, growing up as a teen already questioning why this world and its societies can wield so much power over people, even in circumstances where we're taught to see criminals (let alone accept such a classification) as worthy sites of state-backed torture, this arc in an anime of all things would be one of the many grains that would eventually lead me to understand why states must be opposed and prisons abolished. This pair of brothers are not ethical souls. They have done so much harm, and all the same they should never have been sentenced to an eternity of enslavement by the state. And how does their predicament mirror and contrast Al's purgatory? How does their predicament mirror Ed and Al's contribution to the deaths and suffering of others, especially as dog's of (and in Al's case, an affiliate of) the state? The suicide of the younger brother, and the murder of the eldest manage to evoke sympathy and heartache, even where they are certainly unsympathetic otherwise.

Nina: When it comes to Nina and the entire tragedy of the Tucker family arc, I am no contrarian. This poor girl, her dog, and her murdered mother, and what this does to the Elrics is a permanent point of sorrow. The memetic treatment of her story has some fma fans shrugging at her impact, but I was there when this was the version that people (outside of Japan) were introduced to her story for the first time. Her story fucking hurts. Nina was like a little sister to the Elrics, and they got to spend some time growing up with her. She was family! She was the only person in the entire world, in the entire series, nay, in the entire franchise, who could get away with calling Ed 'little' (Al was 'big brother', and Ed was 'little big brother'). The scene of the Elrics walking into Tucker's lab... The way the 03 team executes this hellish revelation is without compare. The manga's version is nothing, and Brotherhood's is a pale version to 03's. Ed, without recourse to the state's recuperation of chimera Nina, desperately releases her from the military van, only to have granted her a freedom that leads her into Scar's palm (and thereby setting him on his path to avenge the forsaken by killing those who destroy lives via the state and it's weaponized alchemy). She is liberated quickly and painlessly, yet the almost-sacred splatter of her long-gone body will forever haunt me. This story is pivotal in ways that I feel I cannot do justice describing. And her innumerable chimeric clones derived from a chimera-Tucker's pathetic attempts to undo the transmutation of his daughter, and how her philsopher's stone-rejuvenated body is truly, genuinely soulless and unmoving, unthinking, destined to rot- unlike the homunculi, unlike Al and other soul-transmuted people- speaks volumes on how the ideologies of alchemists is what actually informs their perspective on who possesses a soul and who doesn't. Nina (and the Elrics) being present to help Gracia deliver Elicia was also very sweet; she could have been Elicia's friend or even big sister, damn it! 😭 I hope that Nina, her mom, and Alexander get to coalesce into some existence of joy and peace.

Earth!Scar & Earth!Lust: Yeah that's right, a pair of cameo characters we see at the end of CoS, who have no names, no lines, and who we know nothing about beyond seeing them heading a caravan together are placed on par with major characters. Why? Because I am forever overjoyed that, in their own way, Lust and Scar aren't forgotten. Seeing alt versions who get to live together is so satisfying (especially if you're ScarLust-brained like I am). I certainly can't reasonably place them higher on the list, and any lower would betray how giddy I get when they cap off this fma continuity. So fuck it, it's my tierlist and I'll slap my 3 second fanservice characters wherever the hell I want lol.

Hughes: A character who, over the years, I have grown to have quite complicated opinions on. Long before even learning about the overtly-genocidal version of this character in the mangahood canon, I would eventually understand that even military bureaucrats and desk jockeys are required for states and their militaries to carry out their heinous projects. Regardless of his position Hughes, like all members of the state and the military, do not have clean records in the grand scheme of things. 03 Hughes never directly bloodies his hands, and thankfully we're spared from that noxious, insulting sob story about "[committing genocide] so he can live" ala mangahood. But that isn't enough to abdicate his class position against the subjects of Amestris' imperial rule. But where my bias lies, and where 03 succeeds in characterizing him, is that he manages to be interesting and lovable without being as detestable as those who were directly involved in the "Eastern Rebellion" (genocide). All the same, he is a bastard. But we get more time to cook with him, we don't get gags with this dude going cop-mode on fucking toddlers, and avenging his death is hardly a core priority to any of the central cast members when there are far, far bigger issues going down. Unfortunately I do like 03 Amestrian Hughes. But he is a fascist like all the military characters here. As mixed as I am on this dude, I can't completely hate him. Depending on the day I might bump him at least two tiers down, but that would belie my having been more positive about him for most of the time I have loved this show. The man is fun and charming! Sigh. My opinion here is a mess in part from nostalgia. At least he's fictional, but unfortunately the real world is run by millions of this exact person.

Martel: Pretty much the only true war criminal in any version of fma I just can't help but like. I can appreciate that she had no idea what it was that the state was cooking by lying to her and her cohorts about why they sent them all to Ishbal (to incite the 'right' conditions in order to manufacture consent and legal recourse to invade the country). And after realizing that they had been set-up, that they're the useful scapegoats for the state to clear itself of its political sabotage, thus earning a lifelong enemy of Amestris from her and her former colleagues-turned-chimeras is a quality use of her and the former military members of The Devil's Nest. Martel of course gets the lion's share of the spotlight compared to Roa and Dolcetto, let alone the other denizens of The Devil's Nest, and that gives the audience a chance to grow attached to her before she gets killed. I really love the friendship that grows between Al and Marta, as well as her and The Devil's Nest gang's dedication towards Greed. And the fact that she respects Greed's choice to return to the person who created him, and to accept that Ed having murdered Greed was also a choice in part made by her liberator is so mature and honourable. She's complex and fearsome, and I love her. Plain and simple.

Fifth tier: Like it says on the package, these are the people who are long gone, whose impact on numerous characters leads the living into so much suffering. What we make of those we've lost, our sense of ownership to those memories and that love, and what becomes of us in the march of time- if we could remake those we miss, they truly would not be our dearly departed. Even with alchemy death is final. And how do we respond to the agony of a death drenched in bad blood? Can we forgive them? Can we forgive ourselves? Can they ever forgive us?

I can't really slot these three higher up but without any of them this entire story would be nothing. Much like my appreciation for Hohenheim of Light being an enigma, these three remaining as such lends them a force that we have to experience through the characters left behind and the characters transmuted in the vain wish to create those you never owned. I'm compelled to want more of them, but the haze that cloaks them is an integral feature here.

The greatest lesson with these three is that alchemy does not make you a god in a sandbox world, it makes you a fool.

Scar Bro: I really respect the decision to widen the age difference between Scar and his older brother. Having him be the sole adult guardian to a young adolescent who relies on him to do right means that Scar Bro's foray into human alchemy is one of deep selfishness. It's a betrayal that irrevocably sends him into spiralling isolation, exiled yet without care for the world beyond his studies. This singular mindset and his taboo act obliterates his little brother's trust in him, their relationship basically shredded down to a single frayed thread that, only once a genocide is enacted, does Scar try to tug at to rescue him. Scar Bro is smart enough to decipher the Grand Arcanum, and his hubris so deep that he inscribes it upon his flesh. His despair that, perhaps on a grander scale, Ishbal's fall was his own doing for going against the order of the world and seeking the philosopher's stone speaks to how far he has sunk. A portend for what becomes of alchemists who seek the legend and lose perspective on the world around them. But no matter how deranged by his pursuit he had become, he still tried to save Scar. Sacrificing himself was his final apology, his right arm was both his final gift and slight against his little brother. Scar Bro is everything Scar never wants to be, the very figure of all that he rejects, and much of it for good reason. This man is intriguing as hell to me. I'm glad that Scar's final moments, his time with Lust, and what he experienced around the Elrics, ultimately helps him to reclaim his love for his older brother.

The mysterious, alluring woman whose body Lust is constructed from. She haunted Scar Bro, she haunts Lust, and she haunts Scar. We are forever left wondering what we the audience would make of her if we got to experience her beyond the perception of a pair of brothers, and the dappled perception of her undying doppleganger who would become her, or closer to being her, if she could. Would Lust have become 1:1 with this woman if she could be reconstituted into a 'True' human? Can anyone ever inhabit the outline of a progenitor, an ideal, a corpse? All we know is that she was loved. If you step into the shoes of those who knew her, it's hard not to somehow feel a little bit of that love too.

Trisha: The beloved mother of the Elric boys. She's almost angelic when we look into their recollection of her. And still, we can pick out the subtle ways that she was human all along. She is stuck in her heartache for Hohenheim, forever wishing for his return and rewarding her children for emulating his prowess in alchemy. Trisha was a young woman who had to balance raising a pair of younglings while nursing a broken heart. I don't want to see her as merely the perfect mother archetype nor the "abusive" mother simply for failing to restrain her own humanity from intermingling with how she tended to her children. She was wholly human, with all the attending layers that constitute our beings. Like Scar Bro's fiancee, she was dearly loved. And for that she is desecrated. Her homunculus wants nothing to do with her and those who would create her to become this dead woman. Her boys gave her so much happiness but that didn't save her from languishing in her own solitude. Her dying words are a testament to that perpetual depression. The gorgeous track, Bratja, is just as much about her as it is about the sins of her sons.

Sixth tier: Not much preamble for this tier. Let's get into it:

Pinako: All around cool-ass granny. I dig her design, I dig her no-nonsense demeanour, and I dig the tiny peak into the bombastic mechanic babe she was in her youth (younger Pinako was cool in mangahood too but 03's funky light hair is such an eye-catching design choice). She too hates the military to some extent, and I respect that. She opens her home to the extended family Winry brings in, and it warms my shriveled soul that Rose, her little boy, and the Lioran orphans she tends to are a part of that family too.

Psiren: Okokok, listen. Here me out. I know a lot of people shit on the Aquoroia ep (I like it, dammit) for being "meaningless filler" (it's not, it allows the Elric's journey some levity before things deepen, and it also explores grey morality and how the law cannot save people from impending disaster, AND that illegal actions can provide more relief than lying down and quietly suffering in denial). And Psiren gets hate for being a fanservicey character. People accuse her of hitting on Ed and like- yes, she does. But she's a conwoman! She manipulates cops, investigators, and little state alchemists who are actively trying to get in her way. She can see plain as day that her appearance, with a played up sexuality, can trip up the men pursuing her for her crimes. It's no less effective against a pipsqueak teen boy. Personally I never took her actions at face value; it never felt like she actually intended to do shit with Ed, she just wanted to prevent him from thinking clearly. (I don't fault anyone for still not liking that part of the ep tho, but I see this get flattened to "Psiren is a pedo" which imo is silly.) I love her conning and thievery, her design is great especially her cat burglar fit, and that she's a not-quite Robinhood figure (she steals from the rich, but she's not really giving it back to anyone more destitute). I appreciate that despite some of the good she has done for the city itself, she's quite inscrutable in her motivation. Cheers to her for evading the cops to the end. Hope she robbed the police force's coffers repeatedly too.

Rick & Leo: Love these two kids. Having them pop up throughout the show to weave in more Ishbalan perspectives into the story, while serving as yet another thematic exploration of familial dedication and forgiveness was a smart call. Contrasting their ableism with Ed's racism was also interesting, and I appreciate that it's not done as a way to neutralize Ed contending with his own bigotry at all. (This isn't mangahood; we're not playing that ridiculous fucking game where Ed wins a conversation by going "You guys suffer racism? Well my village was affected by the racism you suffer, which is your people's fault actually. Checkmate, Ishvalans.") It's sad when they learn to reject Ishbalans who partake in alchemy, thereby telling Scar to fuck off from the camp. But seeing them help the elderly Exiled Ishbalan at the end of the show was a nice way to show their growth.

Fletcher: Just such a sweet little kid. He has a good heart, and he desperately wants to save his brother from Mugear's corruption. He can't pretend like Russell wasn't poisoning an entire town so he reaches out to the alchemists they had been impersonating. I'm tickled that the Tringham brothers are inverse heights to Ed and Al. Fletcher's just a little guy!

Sig: Top tier husband material. He never blames Izumi for what she had done to the remains of their baby and he won't ever leave her simply because she can no longer bare children. This man loves her so much. Soft spoken, doting without being overbearing, what's not to love? And hell, Meat Day wouldn't be the same without Sig's spectacular form.

Armstrong: A war criminal who, mercifully, does not have some bullshit arc about needing to learn how to be a more obedient genocider. If we focus only on the anime and not CoS, we're shown a character who does regret his involvement in the Ishbal Massacre, but we're not drowning in some perpetual self-aggrandizing pity. Unfortunately how he's written in CoS, "helping to restore" Liore (read: colonize Liore via philanthropy) is a massive backslide on his character. They thought this showed some sort of atonement and reparation, but given his visage getting plastered all over the new city, ignoring the input of the Liorans, and his continued involvement in the military, this is anything but. At least I like him well enough in the show only (CoS Armstrong would be firmly situated in the final tier). Also, of all the military officers in fma, Hughes, Ross, and Armstrong are the only ones I can reasonably buy as caring for the Elrics. The others being far less friendly/'familial' makes sense, and Armstrong having this nosey gentleman's disposition maps better with his time escorting the brothers. Still wish Scar managed to turn his brain into slush when he got the chance, but whaddaya gonna do.

Fritz Lang: This was a pretty funny move on Studio Bones' part. Make an actual well-known real man a mirror to one of the fictional characters in another universe takes some gall. I can understand why some critique Bradley's Earth version being a Jewish man as being in poor taste (that it can be read as antisemitic to imply that a fascist non-human would be Jewish in another dimension), but, for what little it's worth, I interpreted this to be an attempt to contrast class and political positions rather than imply that Jewish people are non-humans in a convincing human disguise (which, ironically, mangahood stumbles assbackwards into playing that trope straight). Earth!Bradley's portrayal managed to feel grounded enough, and given the movie's condemnation of antisemitism and Nazism, it does appear to have been done with good intentions. (This doesn't quite eliminate the bigoted trope being both present and worth acknowledging.) Where Bradley is transmuted into a homunculus (let's recall that whoever Bradley was when he was alive was, in fact, a human and not a "humanoid pretending to be a person" all along) and used to help run Amestris as a fascist dictatorship, it feels as though the writers wanted to show that this isn't some inherent characteristic of every version of this person. I won't dictate how anyone else, let alone how a Jewish person, interprets and feels about this choice. As for myself, I enjoyed his discussions with Ed, and seeing the more introspective, softer, and more artistic representation of someone who looks like Bradley. Hope Ed checks out one of his films someday.

Alfons Heidrich: Unlike a lot of the fandom I never latched onto Heidrich, but I like him well enough. He's so blinded by his passion for rocketry that he doesn't care about working for fascist benefactors. Picture perfect example of the 'apolitical' citizenry who treat their lives and goals as without consequence in the schemes of their society's exploitative machinations. What a great example of what Ed and Roy discuss in the end of the show! The themes of the sciences as institutions that reimburse societal ills and military hegemony are crucial here. As Ed had learned in the show, an apolitical scientific lens only serves to oppress the downtrodden and treat people as obstacles or mere resources for 'progress'. Heidrich is yet another exploration of this issue. The fact that Ed finds someone who looks eerily like Al to latch onto in his Earthly purgatory is some solid mindfuckery for the severely depressed young man and the audience alike. Their dynamic is interesting for that reason. Also he's friendly towards Noah and shows her hospitality when she has nowhere to turn to. Rip, you foolish German boy.

Gluttony: This homunculus gets the least character development of all the homunculi, despite being the longest lasting member of the Seven Sins. We see him from the very start all the way to the midpoint of CoS. Just before Dante lobotomizes him she reveals that she transmuted him specifically to serve as a philosopher's stone refinery; was his human self someone she felt would be useful for such a thing? If we're to believe Dante, it's unlikely that Gluttony had been a wayward homunculus ala Lust, who escapes/is abandoned by their creator and eventually found by Dante. Because then she wouldn't have made him for that express purpose, she would have merely aligned him to be so. And that doesn't seem likely, given that the philosopher's stone is her key to an unnaturally long life, so she would indeed learn to craft a homunculus who can properly act as a factory for stones once fed the real deal. So, was she running experiments across societal derelicts, people who were either already on death's door, or those no one would miss if they disappeared, until she was satisfied at her success? Or did she know his human-self and found something she could exploit to that end? Gluttony appears to have a simpler capacity for understanding the world: is this Dante's doing, or was his human-self a person with a cognitive disabilities that Dante preyed upon? Unless there's supplemental material or interviews I'm unaware of, we will never know and can only infer what skeletons are in his past. I do really love his friendship with Lust tho. That she almost always had him by her side, that she feels hurt that Gluttony was too scared to join her in helping Scar and disobeying Dante, how much he hates Scar for paralyzing Lust with the blue locket, and how distraught he is when Lust is missing- god, when he's told that she's dead? My heart actually aches at his pain. Dante wiping his capacity for conscious thought (disturbing Envy in turn) being the misstep that finally ends her life? Perfect. Also Stone Refinery Gluttony's design in CoS is SO GOOD. It's both fucking terrifying and manages to make me feel even worse for Gluttony (and Wrath, holy shit that fight was rough). And all along, Dante had indeed succeeded in her experiment. Good thing she wasn't able to reap the benefits.

Gracia & Elicia: Not much to say about these two. I appreciate that Ed, Al, and Nina help Gracia deliver Elicia when she goes into labour while at her house. She has an open door for the Elrics, Nina, Sciezka, and Winry, which is delightful. You can understand a little bit of Hughes' enthusiasm for her. And Elicia's an adorable toddler. Can't go wrong with that.

Barry the Chopper: I for one prefer the fact that Barry terrorizes Ed and Winry as a flesh-and-blood human before getting detained, given the death penalty, and used as a soul-tethered guard for Lab 5. That episode is intense, dark, and highlights just how dangerous Ed's journey will be. Without the use of his right arm and thus alchemy itself, Ed is completely helpless: which is excellent foreshadowing for the future. Surviving Barry is when Ed really closes himself off from everyone except Al, and pushes Winry away as well as anyone else he feels is endangered by his quest. And then of course armour-Barry plucking at Al's dysmorphia, which almost tears the brothers apart, means he's managed to traumatize these boys in ways particular to each's darkest fears. However we really didn't need the transmisogynist bullcrap ala the "deranged serial killer who feigns being a woman to lure in his victims" that the writers threw in there. That's a serious blunder on the part of the showrunners. Fuck that noise. But I love how he gets offed: after helping to kidnap Rick and unwittingly leading to the Elric's reuniting and making amends with one another, Barry runs in to kill Ed. Al steps forward to protect his brother, and in swoops Scar to end the fight altogether. Having someone who nearly murders the Elrics but who has sworn off pursuing them after seeing their potential to resist the Amestrian regime, step in to murder a different serial killer who has repeatedly attempted to murder those same boys? Ooh that's good.

Denny: Maria Ross' kinda-simping sidekick lol. He's friendly enough, if not a little innocuous compared to Ross. He's goofy, which is fun. Thankfully it's not overdone either. Poor guy gets cucked by Hohenheim though lol

Lujon: This man's bargain with, and deluded love for, the devil only bought the village doomed by her master's foul play some time and nothing more. The story of his village is one of fma 03's gems. Lust herself never once entertains the sexual desires of others, and in Lujon's case, his attachment to her reads both as too familiar ala her scant memories of Scar Bro, and perhaps insincere on his part. He would abandon his own fiancee and almost-wife at the alter for someone who has been manipulating him into creating a philosopher's stone. Killing him is Lust's way of severing what others project onto her, now that she is growing closer to reclaiming herself. It may even be argued: this is her rejection of Scar Bro and what he did to her. Lujon could not save his village, he could not cure Dante's utterly horrific contagion, and so he becomes a symbol for the limitations of alchemy in most people's hands. And he could never have cared for Lust for reasons outside of himself. That's why I find him so interesting.

The Exiled Ishbalan: The man who tears open the Elric's unexamined racism. I wish he was given a proper name, but in this case, where he is rejected by his fellow Ishbalans for practicing a forbidden science, it thematically fits that he is simply known for being a pariah. He reveals to Scar the Grand Arcanum, its Ishbalan history, and its use in creating a philosopher's stone. I'm glad he gets re-integrated with the Ishbalan refugees as they're all freed to rebuild Ishbal.

Claus: I have a soft-spot for this one-off character. She's a brash little butch kid who leads the local gaggle of boys, how could I not like her? She's trying to figure out why girls and young women are going missing, and what's behind the strange sightings of ghostly women around town. Motivated by her desire to find her older sister, her bravery and cocksure attitude are a treat. It's the rare instance of familial sisterly love in this show, which slots nicely with the focus on sibling bonds overall. Though Claus must live with the terrible revelation that her sister had indeed been murdered, unlike the Elrics she will not drown in grief forever. She moves forward, at least with the knowledge that there won't be any further losses for the other villagers. Really wish her arc wasn't concluded by having her adopt a "properly" feminine presentation thanks to Ed's goading (stfu Ed, your effeminate ass does not get to lecture others about conforming to gendered expectations). Claus, get that crew cut, don that paperboy cap, vest, and pants again, and don't let anyone shame you for living the way you want.

Belsio: I like his design. And he's a pretty chill dude all around too. Smart of him to not embrace Xenotime's philosopher's stone mania as a plague sweeps through the town. He's willing to provide shelter to travellers even when they may be frauds (they're not, but he doesn't turn away the Tringhams either once he learns who they are). Solid guy all around. But woe! Lemon stealing whores upon thy.

Seventh tier: Once again, critters! And although these pups certainly aren't characters comparable to the entire human and homunculus roster, they still get to rep the middle tier. A more lateral tier to the tierlist than anything else, but they'll sit here. Den is the goodest girl, Alexander is our tragic best boy, and Black Hayate is the cutest almost-meal.

Eighth tier: Ok so. Mustang. He's in a category of his own due to my very, very mixed feelings about him. I forever want to punt this man into the sun, but where mangahood makes me want to do so with exceptional viciousness, I can actually appreciate 03 Mustang's character and where the narrative takes him. I don't think he's a crap-quality character in this anime at all (this is not the same as arguing whether he's moral or not; he's not). Where mangahood Mustang feels so performative, plastic and convenient for gaining the approval of an audience despite his prowess in ethnic cleansing and rewarding himself for feeling """sufficiently""" sad about it, this Mustang isn't depicted as the Golden Boy Colonel who gets his government leadership dreams granted. He isn't the "doting father figure" many want of him based on their perception of the mangahood version. He's cold, calculating, a conniving ladder climbing fascist who can't square his dreams of power with what power actually does to its subjects. I can actually believe that this guy is actually internally hounded by being one of the most effective individual genociders amongst genociders. And this doesn't absolve him either. Within the 2003 anime we get no false promises about Mustang doing 'right' once he sits as the head of the nation. He also never leads Amestris, period. By his own hands he wipes away this possibility, rejecting the system altogether. His smaller scale, more clandestine coup actually does help loosen the military's grip on the state (though let's remember, a state is inherently oppressive and is not cleared of its ability to wage war and violence simply because the military is not officially running it). Of course, for reasons I can only speculate about, Conqueror of Shambala retcons this ending and tries to shove Roy back into the still-functional military. It's a shit decision, even where it's left to interpretation just how far he's willing to go back within the military ranks. One of CoS' big negatives. Setting that aside, I appreciate his final convo with Ed. It's a fantastic thesis statement on both Ed and Roy's arcs, as well as tying a bow on fma 2003's themes. Best thing I can do with this guy is to imagine he forever avoids the military and state after he renounces it all post-killing Bradley.

Ninth tier: Hey, they work as villains. I wouldn't change them since we need them as is. What more can I say?

Bradley/Pride: If the 03 team had been allotted more funds and time to continue the anime, I have no doubt they would have given Bradley more time to cook with a firmer backstory. As is though, he works well as the dictator trained in juggling the affairs of a ruthless state while aiding his creator's goals. His seemingly easy and affable demeanour always felt suspect, making himself seem approachable to his subordinates while keeping an eye on useful alchemists. The subtle evidence of the iron hand he wields under that facade kept me intrigued all those years ago. So once we finally get to the revelation of what he is, and when we hear him espouse his fascist beliefs during his showdown with Mustang, it hits! Bradley highlights the hideous ideology underpinning Amestrian governance and its society. And he's not the only character who is shown to believe in their "superiority" over those they deem lesser. Fascism doesn't begin and end with Bradley, or Dante for that matter. I much prefer that we get the reveal of him being a homunculus in the latter half of the show and, imho, him being granted the title of Pride makes a bit more sense given his dictatorship and nationalism. Also, I'm glad we don't have this Bradley characterized as a wife-guy. I'm sorry but I don't need yet another example of the 'redeeming' qualities of normative cishetero nuclear coupling. He strangles his (very human) adopted son to conceal himself and would burn his mansion down around his wife without a second thought if it meant he could settle a match and keep his hold over Amestris.

Cornello: So Cornello isn't some big shot villain but his place in kick-starting the show and the fantastic execution of those first two eps really lays the groundwork for the political and philosophical tensions 03 works with. The start of the show, and the payoffs in plot, character, and world development absolutely would not have hit as well if we didn't begin this odyssey with a white Amestrian theocratic puppet installed to lead Liore. And bless the writers for not having injected 56 different fucking gags smack in the middle of the serious moments and the standoff between Ed and Cornello (or that stupid Hulk Cornello that got tossed into Brotherhood). The chimeric avian abomination he makes and then looses on Rose left a lasting impression. He was well utilized, and his story harkens towards the real life actions of major empires like the USA and its global sabotage in supplanting American-backed leaders into target nations. So I really appreciate the role this colonizer conman (a redundancy in terms but hey) has for all of fma 03.

Tenth tier: There are interesting bits to these characters, but not enough to really propel them into the higher ranks.

Lyra: A hardcore state bootlicker who dreams of becoming an enforcer someday. She never improves as a person, but that's in some ways the point. I would have loved to get a little bit more out of her, but what could be more fitting for someone who gleefully wears her patriotism and love of mass oppression on her sleeve than to have her life snuffed out by a rotting body-snatcher who plays a role in maintaining that very systemic oppression? Also her character design slaps.

Havoc: Like most of the Amestrian soldiers in this adaptation, we aren't fed some version of Havoc who is noble, nor doting or kind to the Elrics. He's (say it with me now) a dog of the military and we accept that as his role. His personality is amusing, as is his eternal failures in getting laid. There really wouldn't have been much point in developing his character tbh, even if the show got a few more episodes to cook. He works as is. And thankfully he isn't injected into Lust's story whatsoever (she is infinitely better than him and would never fail to actually kill his ass <3333).

Riza: Tbh I just don't have much to say about 03 Riza. I could easily compare and contrast her to her mangahood counterparts (as I've done with many characters so far), but I'd rather convey that she (like 90% of Mustang's entourage) never stood out to me. Her actions in rounding up the Ishbalans so that the state can maintain them again in its refugee (concentration) camps is the most despicable thing we see her do. Despite what a lot of 03's promo art may lead some to believe, she doesn't have much of a role within this adaptation at all. Her biggest moment was helping Mustang infiltrate Bradley's mansion and killing Archer. And after finally seeing the absolute Royai-obsessed genocidal angsty-romance shit that is apparently the lifeblood of the mangahood canon (and much of the fma fandom too), I'll take this less relevant, less detestable use of Riza instead. I don't hate her, I don't like her, but she's juuuust interesting enough for me to plop her (slightly) above the neutral tier.

Eleventh tier: Don't take this as a "hate" tier. I don't dislike these characters. This is a collection of characters that are either too brief and simple to gain my attention beyond what they serve in the story, or they serve their role well and are memorable for that particular episode but lack the staying power or charisma to make me think more highly of 'em.

It's a bit of a grab-bag tier since I could make a sub-tier of everyone pictured:

I prefer Rick and Leo's mom, Lujon's fiancee, the mining town dad and his son, Mason, Dominic, the Devil's Nest crew above -> Scar's master and human!Selim, who in turn are above -> Majahal's "long lost" sweetheart, the remainder of Mustang's underlings, Grumman, and Bald.

For the characters I simply didn't even put on this entire tierlist you can feasibly toss them into the neutral pile as well.

Twelfth tier: Characters I would gladly shank to death if given the opportunity. Not because there aren't others in the above tiers who I wouldn't want to stab, but this lot don't click for me as standalone characters. However, I don't begrudge their existence in the show and their utility for the tone, themes, and progression of the show/movie. Thankfully we're never berated over the head to somehow sympathize with these guys, let alone feel for them on par with or above the genuinely more sympathetic characters. We aren't made to eat the military's shit and call it gourmet here, and that's why I still appreciate what these characters bring to the table. I wouldn't remove them from the story, but I'm glad they all get theirs eventually.

Yoki: A perfect example of the class benefits of statesmen and their enforcers, and how the bureaucracy of the state is itself oppressive. It will exploit resource-rich locales, extracting wealth from a captured labour force. Ed knocking him down from his cushy position, and Lust puncturing his cranium were some quality moments. Of course, fuck Yoki for alerting the state to round up the Ishbalans. At least it made his death that much more satisfying.

Majahal: The episode we encounter this acquaintance of Hohenheim's was one of the very, very few I would agree to call a mess, but it foreshadowed some very important truths about alchemy and alchemists through the vehicle of this aging serial killer. Although he does not perform human transmutation, he does kill young women and girls to tether them to mannequins sculpted after his 'lost' love. Despite the ep's problems with pacing and wonky storytelling (it really feels like the writers were still getting a hang of things), I like how awful this alchemist was. Majahal's actions and his beliefs helps cast some serious doubts on alchemists as a class and alchemy as a practice, on Hohenheim's connections, on what seeing people as objects for you to mold to your exact liking leads to, and that the scientism of alchemy should indeed be questioned. And hey, he gets the dubious honour of being Ed's first manslaughter! Woo!

Mugear: A piece of shit mayor who willingly poisons the populace of his town in order to create red stones at the behest of the homunculi. He wants more power than what he gets from his station, and has no qualms with how many people suffer and die. That he wants to use the placentas from the increased miscarriages that are occurring because of the red water is some next level evil. Yet another example of science wielded by power in order to exploit the masses.

Marco: A war criminal who defected from the military here too, but one who isn't given the opportunity to aid a future Fuhrer with yet another war crime. He was better off quietly living as a doctor for a small town who had no other medical professionals to tend to the townsfolk. Even though he reveals the truth to the Elrics about what the "Eastern Rebellion" really was (an invasion and a massacre), there's a certain poetry to Dr.Marco having been party to the Rockbells' murders. This version of him doesn't infuriate me the same way mangahood Marcoh does, but I'm not mad about him ending up as a solid meal for Gluttony either.

Shou Tucker: To reiterate what I said in my Broho tierlist: He's a monster (in this anime, figuratively and eventually literally too), everyone rightfully despises him, and he still performed fewer atrocities than the average soldier, let alone the war criminals in this series. Seeing him used as a secret scientist in Lab 5 as a warped chimera, and slowly growing mad from his desperate urge to, like the Elrics, undo his desecration of a family member is poignant and disturbing. He is truly what Ed could have become. If not his father or Dante, or any of the state alchemist war criminals, Ed could have become Tucker.

Earth!Hughes: For fuck's sake. Yes, he's a Nazi. No, this isn't some massive departure from what Amestrian!Hughes was. The nexus of the 03/Cos/Mangahood Hughes' are a fantastic litmus test for whether or not any given person has the political acuity regarding what the material realities of fascism, nationalism, and ethnosupremacy are versus a basal reliance on optics (bad to be a Nazi, fine to willingly join the institution of an imperialist state whose purpose is to capture land and people, and commit ethnic cleansing). Unfortunately the mass of fma fans (regardless of preference for any given media or continuities) absolutely fucking fails this test in spectacular fashion. In a sick bit of irony, Earth!Hughes hasn't done any genocide yet (as the Nazi party hadn't yet gained a solid foothold in German governance), but mangahood Hughes? Oh boy. Wow, does that beloved piece of crap mass murder Ishvalans. Mangahood!Hughes literally performs more overt fascist/imperialist violence compared to Nazi!Hughes. So I'm glad this specific, extremely relevant alternative version of this character exists. Because he lays bare the gaps in people's understanding of what fascism even is, and what societal structures create the foundation for said fascism to develop, and how none of you understood Fullmetal Alchemist to begin with. Which, shockingly, includes the original mangaka too lmao

Eckhart: CoS' Nazi big bad. I can't really say I feel anything particular about her as a character since she's more a cumulative picture of a ring leader to a fascist occultist subgroup than a character in her own right. She's the exact piece of shit one would expect, and for the purpose she serves in CoS that's all well and good. There isn't any time to really develop her further than that, but I will say that her breakdown into despising and fearing the people on the other side of the Gate was entertaining. Some may say it's a bit on the nose, and they're not wrong, but it flings back into Ed's face that all people have full lives and interiority; they're all real, and as always your actions ripple far beyond your little inner world. That, and the fact that deep-seated societal racism has its roots in governance, and that it will rear up into full scale destruction. It's everyone's responsibility to fight against this. So Eckhart is a useful tool for reiterating this topic. Oh, and the way she dies, covered in the mass of beings who inhabit the Gate, causing her to appear as though she walked out of a scifi horror flick? Love it.

Hakuro: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Hakuro, man. I'm glad we get to see him as some peaceful family man before witnessing his hand in the Lioran invasion and, likely, the instigator of Rose's gang rape. Why do I appreciate that framing? Because it undermines a common and often very successful propagandistic framing device that encourages people to humanize genociders and soldiers. It's a counterbalance to Hughes being the "military family man, so how bad can any of this really be?" This thematic tension reveals that propaganda: "Soldiers have families too! They're just trying to protect the most important and innocent assets members of the nation! Join the front to shield loved ones from the [foreign] scourge! All militarymen are people with grand ideals and pride in their people! How can you fault them for that?" It's a consistent way to embolden a nation's populace to not only sign up for service, but to rabidly defend their troops. Look at the very real fma fans who do this, pavlov style, for both their military blorbos and real life militaries! It works! But what I think is quite clever with what 03 does with him is two-fold: 1) he is not held up as a uniquely ~evil~ member of the military, in fact he's quite average. This is what the military is. The banality of evil is that it is carried out by people who join these institutions for xyz reasons and carry out their orders without qualms (and in fact he's just as much a rank climber as Mustang). And 2) We don't focus in on him as one of the select military/government officials that, if taken down, will suddenly render the military into an ethical, positive entity. Bradley is the closest to falling into this trope, and even then this show doesn't center that thinking. So Hakuro, and all the nameless scum who fill out the military ranks, are not an extra special breed of awful. They are human cogs of the machine, and anyone can be Hakuro. Not because "all humans are evil" (thereby equivocating genociders and their targets/victims), but because signing up to be a cog means you will grind people in your gears.

Basque Grand: The brigadier general who oversees much of the military's branches in Eastern and Lab 5 in Central. He made good use of the red stones to obliterate enough of Ishbal to propel him to his current (and final) rank. The man cares only about keeping everything running accordingly and securing his standing. After everything he does to Ishbal, to Nina, to the Elrics, and learning about the experiments run in Lab 5, seeing this jackass get his brain splattered by Scar, in public, in broad daylight, while moments before gloating about the stone he was going to use to kill Scar? Absolutely one of my fave moments in this show.

Archer: A proud war mongerer thrilled by every opportunity to send an armada in to stamp their boots over a populace. He's a scumbag through and through. Having half of his body disintegrated into the Liore philosopher's stone did give us a great shot of him screaming in pure agony, and on the other hand it gave us Terminator Archer. Granted, I can absolutely see the Amestrian state scientists and alchemists toying with mechanizing human beings (it's no less horrific and unethical than all the other bio-alchemical atrocities they routinely perform). And I can see them taking the opportunity to use any of their barely-surviving military personnel as fodder; if they could roll out even more dangerous pigs why wouldn't they? But the execution of this was haphazard. The design alone is a mess, but I can see what they were going for. If anything, his design should have been pushed into emphasizing that grotesque, industrial melding of metal to flesh. Like a dehumanization of the automail artisanship, have Archer be less cognizant, have us question if he can even be said to be human/alive/the same person, hell, have him be largely incapable of speech due to having half his throat missing. Let his communication be dictated by the sounds of machine functions, with a guttural, tortured noise as a subtle backdrop to each attempt at speech. So much potential for some quality machine-human body horror, unfulfilled. Though by this point the show was in full throttle to the finish line, so there wasn't much time or money left to flesh (heh) this out in such a way that it lands. I can't totally fault the team for having this be wasted potential. And not like it would have made me like the guy, but that's the point. He serves his narrative purpose well. Get wrecked, Archer.

Kimbly: Fascist supreme, but unlike in mangahood, he isn't positioned as a strange outlier to your average Amestrian citizen, militarymen, or statesmen. He's more violent insofar that he's willing to harm his fellow soldiers (and even that's not unique given what we're shown of Archer and Basque Grand), but he's not held up as an example of the "few bad apples poisoning the jackbooted bunch". I didn't know how good I had it with 03 regarding this version of this character! He doesn't get a ton of focus, he isn't made to be an "evil badass" to the extent Brotherhood does, and we don't get this douchebag having a moment in the spotlight to help Ed defeat a homunculus after giving his version of a friendship speech. Best of all, Scar gets his revenge against the man who maimed him and murdered his brother (let alone countless other Ishbalans). Fuck this dude, but I'm glad I can stand to see this asshole in this version thanks to far less insulting writing choices!

God, I love this anime. Everytime I rewatch this show I find so many new things to appreciate. Ruminating on the subtle characterization, politics, and storytelling that each watch-through uncovers really lets me savour the passion that Studio Bones poured into Fullmetal Alchemist 2003. And as my own perspectives on the world and my political philosophy itself matured I become all the more impressed with what they cooked all those years ago. I adore stories that make me feel, and it's all the more fantastic when its done with sincerity. They weren't afraid to tell hard stories. 03 doesn't try to run it back or serve you easy outs. Yet it never feels cynical, at least not to me. Not because cynicism would be unwarranted, but because this show truly feels for the strife of its world and characters.

I'll always come back to this adaptation. Even if most people forget it exists, I'll have something truly wonderful to remember and revisit for many more years to come.

[teatitty]

I can't even take the chuunin exam argument seriously anymore because it's literally just two traumatised PTSD riddled men who are overprotective of the students taking one comment just a little too personally and blowing up about it. Kakashi happens to hear Iruka question the motives of the kids' teachers and is pretty obviously thinking "did this bitch just imply I don't care about the kids I literally almost died for?" and so reactively snaps back without thinking first with the cruelest thing he can (which is to say how it could be fun to break them in with pain) with the sole purpose of goading Iruka's infamous temper to which Iruka, who is also super protective of the kids and also just took this personally, rises to that goad and snaps back directly to Kakashi and then it becomes a fucking fire

And this all could've been avoided if even one of them had thought to calmly explain their perspectives in private but unfortunately they're both protective of the kids and tend to let their emotions take over in regards to said kids' safeties [such as: both of them being ready and willing to sacrifice themselves to protect their students] and it leads to this. All because they just happen to be a little too similar and all I can do is laugh at them for not seeing it at the time. The interactions they'd had prior to this were always good natured and friendly so you'd think they'd know not to get reactionary about this stuff but alas! They're only human and shit happens

[wolfnesta]

I’ve always entertained the idea of Nesta going full on evil because she already has a compelling backstory that makes a villain relatable, understandable, these things could push her to extremes to fight for change but not without questionable choices, I mean, she has the cold, unflinching, cunning attitude down, bonus sexy points. She fights for humans, fights for women. But why not make her evil in the process.

And then there’s Feyre with her own backstory but she has that innate compassion, both are fighting for change, have a common enemy, but Feyre has lost faith in Nesta, wants to see her nurturing future come to fruition without burning everything to the ground.

Hmmm I’m just compelled

[good--merits-accumulated]

truly truly Neil Charlie Todd triumvirate is king please share any thoughts you have on them

OH BOY ANON YOU HAVE OPENED A CAN OF WORMS.

I. OPENING THESIS?

Basically, here’s my abstract for this whole thing:

(Les Misérables, trans. Isabel F. Hapgood)

And having put this down, I’ll ask you to overlook it, lol. Or treat it as a very loose guide! (If you haven’t any idea what the context of this refers to, here’s a quick rundown: a chief is a leader and someone who people rally behind. A guide is an enthusiast about all things and an advocate for progress, someone who checks the rampant idealism of the chief. The centre is warm, loyal, and acts almost as a mini-Sun for the chief and guide to orbit around, to stop them shooting off on their own wild trajectories.) In the interest of complete transparency, reading Les Mis at a young age had this irreparable effect on me where I now have to think of every triumvirate as a chief/guide/centre dynamic, but I don’t think this model applies 1:1 towards Neil/Charlie/Todd. Instead, I think of them a little as composites, interplaying with each other – Charlie as a guide who would much rather be a chief, Neil as a chief who works better as a guide, and Todd as a centre who’s never given the grace to grow into that role. Let’s go!

II. CHARLIE AS THE CHIEF-GUIDE

Charlie is like if rowdiness was a Guy. He’s big, he’s brash, he’s the instigator and he’s the captain and he’s the shameless one and he’s a side character! I have always found this very interesting whenever I watch DPS; despite Charlie’s main character-ness he is secondary, and doesn’t even get his own sideplot in the same way that Knox (for example) does. He’s a born leader who by virtue of the trappings of his story is relegated to supporting others, although you can so, so clearly see him fighting for space in the story. He gets pushed into being a guide almost by default; only the trait of enthusiasm really applies here. If Neil wasn’t there he’d be the leader of their group, no question. And the thing about Charlie is that he gets things done. He’s the one pushing the most for the re-creation of the Dead Poets Society after Neil, he’s caustic about things that are in his way (“Well, why don’t you stay home?”), people follow him! See Knox running after him, asking to be taught:

Charlie is the man of action – the telephone stunt is the biggest incident of that. And the way the boys gather around him afterwards as he regales them is chief-like; here he is acting as the chief, because this is around the same time that Neil’s chief role starts to slip away from him. But more of that later. 

The big thing is that Charlie never gets to really assume that role of chief, because Neil is always there. I talked earlier about how he pushes for the re-creation of the Society; well, Neil is the one who finds Keating’s old annual and reads it aloud to them. Charlie is the one cutting down the guys’ concerns about sneaking out after school: Neil is the one who suggests it – more than suggests it! Almost commands it, in a way that leaves little room for debate:

(Note that in this section, it’s Charlie who does the arguing for Neil, who doesn’t speak except to lay down the law and then ask who’s coming. Real king and knight energy.) 

Charlie never quite manages to edge into centre stage. You can sort of see how there might be resentment there – perhaps there would have been if they had gone on uninterrupted. But then of course Neil dies, and Charlie assumes the chief role by default, but it’s no longer glorious or something he can covet. But he does it anyway; he wakes up Todd, he breaks the news to him, very, very gently, he wipes Todd’s mouth with snow when he vomits and tells the others to leave him alone. But by this point, Charlie going into the chief role he’s so good at isn’t enough to stop the splintering of their group or his own expulsion.  

III. NEIL AS THE GUIDE-CHIEF

Part of Neil’s tragedy is that he would be good at the things his father wants him to do! He’s a wonderful all-rounder, he's the perfect all-American specimen, there’s no doubt in my mind he would have been a great doctor – except he wouldn’t, because the enthusiasm and the motivation would have been lacking entirely. (As someone who just did a shit ton of medical school interviews, yeah, they would have sniffed this guy out really fast. Or maybe they wouldn't… not sure how stringent they were in the ‘50s.) He would have been technically great. But being able to do something doesn’t mean you should; these are the things that Mr. Perry conflates and which Neil is never able to verbalise to him, except in a way in which he thinks he’ll understand:

In this scene, when he talks to him post-performance it’s not “I enjoyed it”, but a very simple, “I was really good”. And despite this concession of terms he says it when his father can't hear, because he knows he would never relent, oh God.

Actually, a lot of what I wanted to say about Neil has already been said in Charlie’s section. (The summary is basically that you must imagine me offstage with a megaphone as the movie plays, yelling, “YOU TWO NEED TO SWITCH PLACES, FUCKOS”.) Neil is a good leader, but that doesn’t mean he likes being one, or that he should be one! He has a few characteristics of a guide – he’s enthusiastic about everything, he has this boundless kind of delight in the things he loves (not idealism; that’s slightly different). But this is honestly where the model falls apart. I don’t think that Neil would make a great guide either, logic not being his forte; the irony is that the role of the triumvirate he most fits IS the chief, it’s just that that’s what kills him. The responsibility that comes with being someone who “speaks and people listen” isn’t good for him – this dichotomy of having “control” over the friendship group/no control over his personal life is terrible. He does get to lose the chief role, but it’s not in a way that is good for him; instead this manifests in a loss of control that happens very very quickly, which just makes him reach for ways in which he can control his own life. And besides, stepping outside of a leadership role with a great deal of responsibility and losing control over the course of your own life are two very different things. I just think that he should get to go offstage for a little bit and rest, with zero expectations on him ever. (Also there’s something here about how he gets to play Puck – a side character who has major effects on the story but doesn’t have to actually put his skin in the game. This is what I think Neil should get to do In Real Life.)  

IV. TODD AS THE PROTO-CENTRE 

One thing about Todd is that in my mind, I always imagine him as much redder than he actually is in the movie. I don’t mean I imagine him to blush more often – I mean ruddier, more flushed. Going back to the Les Mis quote – in my mind he does “possess all the qualities of a centre, roundness and radiance”! Todd is a catalyst like Keating in a way that Keating isn’t; this is never explicit at all but he has always felt to me like someone who inspires others by their presence. He’s such a wonderful, calming, grounding influence. Even when he talks to Neil and they have that non-argument he tempers Neil and reminds him what’s at stake without looking down on him. And when he realises how serious he is, he goes with it and supports him to the best of his ability – he says “Oh, Neil, Neil, you’re crazy” but it’s fond, he’s overjoyed for him. And you can see similar behaviour perhaps to a lesser extent with Charlie in the way particularly he calls him Nuwanda after his request, which is taken as ridiculous by other characters: 

And even after Neil’s death he does so, refusing to go back to normal:

But the reason I’ve put “proto-” for a prefix is because these are all singular occasions. The thing is that I think Todd could be that brilliant, grounding, assured man, a lighthouse of a man, almost. But he isn’t – he clearly isn’t – at the beginning of the movie he is shy and diffident and the non-argument I mentioned early does go a little sour, because while he speaks from a place of concern and love, his anxiety manifests in the conversation and makes him a little less tactful than he might have been otherwise. If things had gone on better than they went, and if Todd had been allowed to grow and develop more and without worry, he really, really would have blossomed into this kind of centre, this very steady man who would have reminded Neil of the consequences of his actions and made Charlie care about the consequences of his. But he doesn’t get to do that – by the time he grows and becomes more confident it’s too late, the worst has already happened. 

V. SUMMARY

I’m so sorry, anon, this is a prodigious answer to what was a very simple ask, but you hit on the subject I have Very Strong Feelings About. Not to toot my own fanfic horn, but there’s an excerpt from the fair folk AU which I think sums this up pretty well:

TL;DR: Charlie gets pushed into a secondary position which doesn’t suit him; Neil gets pushed into a leadership position which suits him, but he hates; Todd is willing to step into that secondary position as a behind-the-scenes supporter, but never actually gets that opportunity. Hence the tragedy. Hence the taking of lives. Hence how many fucking tears I have shed over this movie, Jesus. 

(I had a lot of fun writing this – thank you for giving me a reason to!)

[foreverxdaydreaming]

x