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orangegreet · 3 years ago

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Photo by ZHENYU LUO on Unsplash

On the morning the children were to arrive, Alina was up before sunrise. Genya woke her in a flurry, alerting her that a change would be made to her living arrangements.

“The room beside the nursery, dear. Yes, that is the one.” Genya said behind her, carrying the little stack of papers and drawing pencils Alina had not been able to pick up herself. Alina heaved her carpet bag into the bedroom.

The four poster bed was grand and still covered in a large white sheet to protect from dust and general disuse.

“Yes,” Genya said to herself, setting the drawing supplies on the little desk by the window and opening the pane. It took a hardy push but the window gave way with a creak of metal that made Alina’s teeth ache.

Genya smiled and turned back to her. “I think this should suit you well. Why I did not place you here in the first place—well that is neither here nor there. You will need to be near the children if they wake in the night.”

Genya inspected the fireplace, bending with a handkerchief to check the flue.

“I will send Marie in after breakfast to get the bed turned down for you and finish the dusting. Perhaps you could help her take the rug out for a beating?” Alina nodded as Genya swept past her to the door.

“We can expect the children by the afternoon, I should think. Come down for breakfast when you are done getting settled.”

Alina stood in the middle of the room. It was modest in size compared to the bedrooms she knew existed in the east wing and yet it was more grand than any previous dwelling she had called home.

Her fingers trailed over the carvings on the four poster bed. A gleaming ray of sun was illuminating the room and Alina walked to the window and breathed in the damp morning air.

The nighttime clung to the grounds where the sun could not yet reach for the cover of the trees. Something passed in her periphery and Alina turned to look beside her.

A trick of light perhaps. The room and the grounds were quite empty of any stirring creatures at this early hour.

*******

Alina stood at the end of the line of servants to receive the children as the carriage pulled down the long drive.

She aimed to keep her gaze forward but found it was impossible to keep from observing Lord Kirigan as he stood in wait.

Though his posture and expression echoed his rigid authority as head of the estate, she could not help noticing the twitching of his hands. Clenching and unclenching. The occasional tug to his dress sleeves to ensure everything was in place.

To be privy to such little signals of unease in his otherwise unshakeable demeanor was very nearly endearing to her.

His fingers picked anxiously at the skin of his thumb and then with a whip-like turn, Lord Kirigan directed his forbidding gaze on her. Accusation colored his features and she quickly looked back up the drive.

The carriage came to a halt and Alexei stepped forward to open the door and help the passengers down.

Alina watched with rapt attention as the little dark haired children stepped down onto the gravel. Both six years old and both as dark-haired as the Lord himself.

“Father!” The boy said, running and wrapping his little arms snug around the waist of Lord Kirigan.

“George,” His father said placidly, patting the boy on the back of the head.

Alina cringed at the blatant lack of reciprocated joy on his part. Then her eyes landed on the girl.

Trepidation was building inside of her gut as she knew already the little six-year-old beauty was a force of nature. Marie had thoroughly explained the personality traits of each child the week before as they hung the washing together.

“Lillian,” Lord Kirigan held out his arm, inviting the child to receive, Alina could only assume, a pat of her very own.

Lillian merely crossed her arms where she stood, “Hello, father.”

A large blond fellow followed behind her from the carriage and he removed his hat, one hand landing on the shoulder of Lillian.

“Hello again, Lord Kirigan.” The man called.

The Lord raised an eyebrow. “Mr. Helvar. Good of you to accompany the children back to Blyth Fell. It is appreciated.”

Lillian looked fondly up at the man and then with a quick hug to waist, she ran toward Genya.

The Housekeeper spared no more than a nervous glance at her employer before sinking to her knees and taking the girl into a hug.

“I did miss you, Genya.” The girl said, emphasizing the subject and throwing a glare toward her father.

“I missed you too, darling girl. Come along now, Nadia baked your favorite orange tea cakes. You can tell us everything we’ve missed during your adventures in London.”

And then the Housekeeper and Lillian were gone without a backward glance or any last minute directives to Alina. Without an introduction, even.

The servants dispersed and Alina found it horribly comical that she wasn’t sure what to do.

Genya had cleared away one child for company and now it was simply Alina watching over George while he collected rocks from the ground for throwing and climbed around the carriage bench.

Not knowing what else to do, Alina moved closer toward the boy in some symbolic act of giving privacy to the two men still facing off in the drive way.

Symbolic because they were still quite easy to overhear.

“And is my sister-in-law well, Matthias?” She heard Lord Kirigan ask.

“She is, sir. She sends her regards.”

Lord Kirigan dipped his head but did not respond. The two men watched George patting the horse.

Alina still stood off to the side, unsure if she should have followed Lillian or if they would notice her monitoring of George now and take their conversation behind closed doors.

Both men looked quite stiff. With some hesitancy, Matthias spoke, “Miss Zenik also asked me to say that she would like to see the children more. Sir. If you are amenable.”

He played with the hat in his hands and did not look at the Lord. “Around the holidays even, in London—Miss Zenik would be happy to host them.”

Alina was surprised to see anger darkening the countenance of her Lord once more.

“You may tell her that she is most welcome to visit them here at Blyth Fell anytime she wishes.”

The blond man lowered his head and sighed. “Very well, sir. I will pass along the…invitation.”

Matthias turned to leave but stopped and pulled a letter from his coat. “I almost forgot, sir. From your brother-in-law.”

Kirigan briefly glanced at the note and then nodded to Matthias, storing it in his coat.

Mr. Helvar placed his hat back on his head, tipped it in Lord Kirigan’s direction, and turned to leave.

“Goodbye George,” He called. George came down from the carriage and hugged him goodbye. Alina stepped forward to stand with him and the Lord as the carriage pulled away. Alina turned back to Lord Kirigan, hoping someone would stick around to introduce her properly to the child.

However, Lord Kirigan was already disappearing into the house.

*******

Alina spent the afternoon with George, playing games together, walking the grounds and tentatively learning how to interact.

Fortunately, young boys were relatively easy to contend with for the most part.

George had brought a pocket game into the nursery, a beautiful little wooden top which they spun on the floor while Alina asked him questions.

His likes and dislikes, his studies with the previous governess and how he spent his time in London with his aunt and uncle. His mother’s sister and brother, she learned.

He was a sweet boy, a little shy but well distracted thanks to his preoccupation with the toy on the floor.

They whiled away the hours until supper and then went downstairs to meet Genya and Lillian in the dining room.

Lillian cast an appraising look over her new governess and Alina knew better than to try to win her over in that short moment. She stayed silent but held the girl’s eye contact as if to say, ‘you are welcome to look and make your judgements, I will not stop you’.

Lord Kirigan arrived to sit with the children for dinner and Lillian finally looked away, focusing her ire toward her father instead. Alina and Genya were dismissed to the kitchens.

*******

Over dinner, Alina sat quietly absorbing the conversations at the table. Genya and Nadia carried on a lively discussion observing the ways Lillian had grown in the short couple of months away as the others asked them questions about her stay.

Most unusually, Ivan did not join them at the table. Instead he sat himself at the large kitchen hearth, pouring over several pages of a letter.

His face was mostly inscrutable in the firelight save occasional flashes of emotion which would cross his features as he read.

She watched his face scrunch in concentration, his thumb nail firmly between his teeth—it was odd to see him so focused that his scowl was not in place.

Then the next moment he was smiling. It was a small and fragile thing but it changed everything about him.

As if sensing he had publicly embarrassed himself, Ivan cast a furtive glance at the table and turned his body completely toward the fire, hiding his face from view.

Alina stared back down at her half-eaten meal.

“How did you find the young master of the house, Miss Starkova?”

It was Misha speaking next to her—she was startled to hear his voice. It was deep but still soft in the way he spoke. She could not remember hearing him string so many words together in front her before now.

“George is very sweet, isn’t he?” She said. Misha nodded and smiled to himself.

“Once he became a little more comfortable with me, he began to talk and would not stop, telling me everything he had learned in London about…well everything,” she laughed.

Alina leaned forward and put her fork down, getting excited as she continued, “He told me about something called a ‘submarine’ which is a water vessel that does not use sails or wind to move but rather navigates itself deep in the ocean.”

Misha smiled at her and shook his head and Alina realized she was becoming as boisterous as George had been.

She laughed at herself, “It was endearing really because when he began to talk about something he really liked, he quite forgot to be shy with me at all and it was wonderful to witness.”

Alina herself grew shy, unexpectedly realizing how lonely she was that a few short hours spent in the company of a talkative six-year-old had filled her cup more than anything else had done in her time at Blyth Fell.

“Lillian on the other hand…well…” Alina trailed away, picking up her fork again to absently push her food around the plate.

“Do not worry too much about Lily, Miss Starkova.” Misha gave her a brotherly pat on the shoulder and shifted his stiff leg which was outstretched on the chair beside him as usual.

He emitted a faint groan and then continued, “She has seen many women come and go from this house. All of whom were supposed to nurture her in some way. All of whom left with little more than ‘farewell’ to the child. It may take her some time but she will come around. Eventually she will see you are different.”

Alina huffed a mirthless little laugh and blushed at his observation, “I hope you are right. Though I do not blame her being skittish if so many have failed her before. I-I can understand preserving yourself to avoid a future hurt.”

Misha furrowed his brow as he looked at her. “You will not fail her, I can tell.” He gave her another gentle pat to the hand and began to get to stand, clutching his cane in his left hand.

The chair beneath his bum leg shifted and he almost fell to the floor if not for Alexei who was suddenly at his feet, catching Misha around the waist. The two young men chuckled together.

“What did you go and do that for, Mish?” The footman jested. Misha smiled broadly and allowed Alexei to pull him up by his arm and string it around his neck for support.

“To test your reflexes, obviously.” Alexei flushed and Alina smiled down at her plate, acutely aware of the private moment the two men were sharing.

“Come on then, Morozov, someone had better ensure you make it to your room without breaking your neck.”

*******

The morning after the children returned, Lord Kirigan left on a business trip. At least that is what Genya told her breakfast.

“His children just got home, could it not have waited?”

Genya did not respond, her face stubbornly neutral as she prepared a plate to take to Mr. Kostyk. “He informed the children last night over dinner. I am making you aware as they might be a little emotional today.”

She was correct in one sense. George did seem to struggle on their first day. Unable to pay attention in the lesson for asking questions about his father’s travel plans.

��Did he not tell you when he would return?” He asked.

“I did not know he would be gone until Miss Safin told me over breakfast. I’m afraid I’ve no more answers than either of you.”

“Do you know if he will be back for our birthday at the end of the month?” Hysteria was edging the boy’s tone.

Alina shook her head and tried not to match his sadness, “I’m sorry, George I do not.” She looked down at her notes. “The best thing we can do is carry on as normal as possible. Fill our days with activities so we can leave our worries to the side.”

George took a shaky breath and picked up his pencil.

Lillian said nothing.

She scowled at her papers and interrupted the lesson often. Sometimes to tell Alina that they had already learned what she was teaching. Others to correct her French pronunciation.

Or then to otherwise point out that arithmetic would be useless for her to learn as she was a girl who grow into a woman who would marry very rich and so would not need to worry about that skill in the future.

Alina regarded this as a test. That was the only reason she did not refute the issue. Choosing instead to save the lesson for a later date when she could make her point more effectively.

For however hardened Lillian appeared to be on this first day together, Alina could sense the hurt beneath her anger the same way she could sense when a rose bush was about to lose it’s blooms for the season. Instinct. Babulya would say.

Alina uttered her little healing words over both of the children that night as she put them to bed in the nursery.

Lillian had refused the proffered comfort and tucked herself in.

Despite her cold affirmation that she did not need a lullaby, Alina sang to them in the language of her babulya. The gentle song of healing from Alatyr drifting across the room.

She watched as the moonlight from the window glinted off the tears on Lillian’s little cheeks and her own chest ached at the familiar feeling.

*******

For weeks Alina carried on with lessons. Lillian fought her more and more as each day passed but Alina refused to succumb to her own emotions about it.

The worse Lillian became in her tantrums and behavior, the more impassive and gentle Alina responded, reserving her own debilitating breakdowns for when the children were well asleep and she was alone in her room with only the moonlight as witness.

It was these nights alone and crying, these nights when she had missed dinner in the servant’s dining room in order to continue caring for the children, that her loneliness threatened to overtake her.

A sort of hopelessness hung in the air around her like fog on the moor and Alina kept her head above water by singing her little songs and rereading the journals of her babulya like they were letters of comfort written to her directly.

Lord Kirigan remained stubbornly absent. Conspicuously quiet. No letters were written to the children. No word sent about his return date.

Alina fumed inside.

Around the third week of lessons, Lily’s tantrums ebbed away and the girl adopted a new tactic of simply pretending Alina did not exist.

She did not respond to direct addresses from the governess and though she read the assignments and completed her work to perfection, Lillian looked right through Alina when she spoke as if she were nothing but vapor in the air.

In an added degree of lobbed cruelty, Lillian became overly sweet to her brother to demonstrate she was entirely capable of kindness but that Alina would not be receiving any.

This was the mind game which took the most mental exercise to overcome.

Inexplicably, Alina felt that this behavior was completely reminiscent of the currently absent Lord of Blyth Fell and it made her head spin. She did not know with certainty but it simply tasted like his brand of cruelty.

She thought of Lord Kirigan often. More often than she wished to admit.

His dark hair and black eyes appeared to her each night and Alina found herself desperately grasping for anything else to hold onto that would divert her sleepless thoughts.

It was impossible to explain or even rationalize to herself outside of the obvious fact that he was completely intriguing to her.

A foul, dark man who had made a terrible, if not merciful, first impression by putting down her pony in the bog and then taunted her with her orphaned existence and then threatened the removal of her very innocent and lovely garden.

She should never think of him again. He was not worthy of it. Not for the way he had treated her and certainly not worthy given the way he neglected his children.

Why then would he not leave her thoughts alone?

Alina kicked at the covers and huffed her frustration into the darkness.

Trouble sleeping, dear?

She stilled in her bed.

The chill of the room blanketed her skin and left gooseflesh down her arms, her legs, her neck. Even the hairs in her ears turned upright, poised to catch any errant sound in the room.

She did not scream.

Of course, panic hit her differently than it did most women. It ripped the sound straight from her throat and left only her gaping mouth. A dark, silent scream frozen over her tongue.

Alina looked around the room.

Nothing was there.

The fire under the mantle had long turned to smoldering embers. Wind gusted down the chimney blew over them, fanning their faint glow into a bright orange for moments at a time.

A trick of the imagination. She decided, her breathing quick and short.

The softly feminine voice had been generated from her mind in her desire for comfort.

Born out of remembrance of a time when Alina had felt loved and cared for herself. She must have ached for it so much that she simply conjured a facsimile of the real thing.

The hour was very late after all. Nights of restless sleep were taking a toll.

She was strong, however. Alina sang her song and recited her comforts and forced her eyes to close and did not let her mind dwell on any disembodied voice or any absent Lord until finally, she fell asleep.

*******

Lord Kirigan returned late in the night on the eve of the twin’s seventh birthday.

Alina had conspired with the other servants to plan a modest picnic celebration in the newly restored garden, complete with food and sweets on the following day.

When the black carriage trundled down the drive well after the children were put to bed, Alina donned her robe and grabbed her candle.

It pained her pride to put herself in a position of asking Lord Kirigan for anything and yet Alina marched to his study and knocked on the door to insist he make an appearance at the event.

Truthfully, Alina was quite vexed before she knocked, having spent the day consoling an increasingly emotional little boy with empty assurances that even if his father missed his birthday, it did not mean he was not loved.

Lillian had required nothing of her and most unusually sat in silence in her chair, rolling her pencil between her fingers, seemingly without the energy even to continue her mind games on Alina.

The empty, quiet persona she had adopted was worse somehow. She knocked again. Harder.

Lord Kirigan appeared, bleary eyed in the doorway. “Ali—Miss Starkova?”

Alina glared at him. The single flame of her candle light illuminating both of their faces and casting strange shadows.

“We are having a birthday celebration for George and Lillian tomorrow,” she began.

He opened his mouth to interrupt but she flashed her eyes and in his surprise, he clamped his jaw shut again.

“You are expected to be there promptly at the start of the meal and stay for the duration. Should you happen to bring a gift for each child, that would be wonderful but will be considered optional given the short notice.”

“Miss Starkova—” he warned, his surprise dissolving into fury and straining his voice.

Alina did not let him get a foothold.

What right did this man have to be furious? This man who disappeared without a word for weeks and could not spare more than a few moments to simply write to his children while away.

“Gifts,” she stressed, “are optional but make no mistake, my Lord, your attendance is compulsory. Are we clear?”

Her chest was heaving with pent up rage.

Weeks of suppressing her anxieties, her sadness and her pain so she could put forward a good face for the children was all about to implode inside of her.

The seams of her very existence were becoming ripped and unraveled by this careless man who slipped in and out of being around her like a shadow.

He grabbed her upper arm and pulled her into his study, slamming the door shut and pressing her against the hard wood.

His chest pressed flush with hers and Alina could scarcely breathe for the pressure or the thickness of the air or maybe because of the sudden lightheaded feeling which came over her body.

The candle had dropped to the ground and only the light from the lantern on the desk behind him gave her any relief.

It illuminated his outline and he was nothing more than a dark mass before her, breathing hot damp breaths against the exposed skin of her neck and chest.

A large calloused hand covered her cheek and Alina darted her eyes to where she knew his lips were, the sounds of his breaths guiding her more than her vision in the low light.

The pull toward him was unnatural. Beyond anything she had felt before.

It terrified her. He terrified her.

He rattled her soul till it shook and quaked in the shell of her body.

She thought this and yet she did not fight his touch, her hands betraying her as they fisted into the lapels of his coat, urging him closer.

His hands fell to the door on either side of her head, caging her in as he closed the distance and paused just shy of her lips.

Their breaths swirled together. The full thrall of their pull over the other person perfectly evident to her in that moment.

Unstoppable. Inescapable. Was he doing this to her? Or was it she doing this to him?

Alina heard a tiny whimper. It had come from her throat.

The sound caused the tiniest blink of his eyes. He came to himself. He stopped.

The mood shift was as palpable to her as if she had watched him undress and redress.

Lord Kirigan dropped his hands from the door.

He looked fearful of her. Then suspicious.

Alina opened her mouth to say something but he was already opening the door behind her, his hand gripping her waist as he shoved her back into the hall and slammed the study door shut without another word.

The sound of the lock echoed down the dark corridor and the thud of his hands hitting the wood on the other side made her jump.

With dread she realized the humiliating urge to cry was upon her and she pressed her fingers to her mouth to stifle the sob that was wrenched from her lungs.

Her tears cooled on her cheeks as she ran back to her room in the dark, her candlestick left abandoned on the floor of her Lord’s study, powerless and unfit for rescue.

#darklina fic #aleksander morozova #alina starkov #alina x aleksander #darklina #darklina fanfic #grishaverse #smut #the grisha trilogy #darklina server #haunted #eventual smut #eventual hea #mutual pining #angst #the darkling #shadow & bone #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone

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hiddenwritingsintheworld · 4 years ago

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Small Town Missed Connections-Part 1 (Jensen X Reader)

Donations (please help. Jobless, and decided to make this my new job so anything helps out! Thanks!)

(New Series!!! Hopefully! Only if you all love it!) Shout out to @adriellej for being the best at helping me work through writers block!!! PS dont forget to let me know if you want to stay on the tag list!)

You heard your phone chime in your back pocket and a smile instantly appeared on your face. You almost dropped the boxes in your hands as you walked down the stairs from the storage in the upper loft of the building. “Easy, someone’s in a cheery mood today. What gives?” Amanda, the sassy 17-year-old blonde you’d hired for summer help, said as you reached the bottom, allowing her to take the top box. “Oh nothing, I just can’t be in a good mood?” you asked with a smile, which she knew hid a secret behind it. She narrowed her eyes and sighed “fine. But one day, I will get it out of you.” She walked away taking the box with her. “Don’t forget to go through that and price everything! I should still have the book under the counter!” you called out as you walked over to the coffee shop.

“There she is,” an older more cracking voice called out. You set the box down behind the counter and turned smiling at the older gentleman. “Mr. Zukowski! Good morning! How is the coffee and muffin today?” you grinned asking a bit louder so he could hear you. “Good, good, thank you. You seem busy, I won’t hold you up. I just wanted to tell you, the weeds out front are looking a little tall, I could take care of those for you.” He smiled politely. You let a small laugh slip out as you came around the counter, “Mr. Zukowski, I’ve told you before, you help me out by making sure my coffee and muffins taste perfect. Now, I’ll have Zach bag up a couple of muffins for you to take home, and tell Mrs. Zukowski, I’ll be by this afternoon to check on your guys garden okay? I don’t want you back out there after your accident last time okay?” you nodded to him. “I’ll call someone to come and take care of those darn weeds okay?” you helped him back to his seat so he could finish his breakfast and finish reading the paper.

“You are so sweet, thank you dear.” Mr. Zukowski smiled and patted your hand as he sat down. You smiled at him before going back over to the counter. “Every day, I don’t get how you do it. That man drives me crazy,” Zach told you as you opened the box. “Zach, it’s people like the Zukowski’s that made this sweet little town, just the way it is, perfect. Now, help me with these fall decorations.” You smiled. After getting everything-and everyone where they belonged, you finally had a minute to check your phone.

‘Why good morning, I thought you were never going to text me back’ Jensen texted back right after you’d sent good morning. ‘Sorry, it’s been a busy morning at the shop, now I have some weeds to pull, a garden to check on and I need to do a supply order, do you realize how much I hate ordering supplies. I wish there was this magical little button I could click and bam. All the supplies I need-ordered’ you sent back with a face palming emoji.

Jensen began typing a response then stopped, then the dots came back again. You laughed at his constant typing-deleting-retyping thing he always did. ‘So, if I could spare your attention for a moment, I took a photo this morning and I wanted to get your opinion on it before I post it on Instagram, so do you have time?’ he asked with a heart emoji. You sent back a thumbs up with a smiley face, ‘For your photos Jay, I always have time. Let me see it.’ You sat back in your office chair and smiled as he texted the photo.

It was of his lake house, just a side view though, from the front porch. The photo was capturing the early morning sunrise with silhouette of trees against the lake. You stared, mesmerized by the photo, wishing you had a large cup of coffee and were curled up in a warm sweater there on the front porch chair, watching the water as you drank your coffee. ‘Whoa…..that is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G, have you posted that yet?!’ you texted back instantly.

A few moments passed before you had a notification from Instagram, Jays Photography had posted a new photo, with the caption, “Sure missing a near and dear friend this morning, this one is for her.” Two red hearts followed the caption and your heart beat just a tad faster as you liked the photo and replied “What a lucky friend. Photo is incredible. I’m sure she loves it,” you sent the comment and got back to work.

As the day went on you and Jensen texted back and forth, talking about anything and everything you could want. Business picked up in the afternoon so you’d quickly found yourself busy with customers; meanwhile Jensen had found himself busy as well.

Jensen had met up with Misha, Vicki, Jared, and Gen and was having dinner all together. “So listen, Vicki and I have been talking and why don’t we all go on a little vacation?” Misha asked the group as they all smiled. “That sounds so wonderful, I can have my mom watched the kiddos and we can be ready to go by the weekend. Where were you thinking of going?” Gen asked setting her fork down so she could take a sip of the strong red wine her and Jared were drinking.

“Well, we want to go somewhere off the map, a small little town where we can relax and not be bothered by anyone.” Misha told her. Gen nodded after taking a bite of her salad, “There’s the cutest little town I found while googling the other day! We could go there!! It’s like 6-7 hours from here!” she smiled pulling up the name of the town on google.

The group agreed, the entire time Jensen had remained quiet though, he had been waiting on you to text him back. When you finally did, a grin broke out across his face. “What are you grinning about?” Jared asked as he tried to take a peek at Jensen’s phone. “Nothing, I’m just texting a friend of mine.” Jensen told him. “Come on Jay, you tell me everything, except for what feels like the last 6 months where you’ve been texting someone and not saying a word about it to me. Who is it?” Jared asked again.

“You never told him about Y/N??” Misha asked popping his head up between the two of them. “Y/N?? Who’s Y/N????” Jared asked before yanking the phone away and began reading through the messages. Jensen glared at him and tried to snatch it back quickly. “What the fuck man! Give that back! It’s mine!” Jared finally gave it back after Jensen had jumped and tried to reach it. “Dude, you need to meet this chick, you guys sound really interested in each other.” He told his best friend, but Jensen glared at him “My cell phone is private, you gonna blurt out anything else?? This girl actually means something to me,” Jensen shook his head and walked off, he’d walk himself home.

You had just gotten out of the shower when you grabbed your phone, laid down on your bed and texted Jensen again. ‘Okay, finally, we have time to chat, sorry I’ve been super busy with work lately, things are changing and it’s all a little much for me to handle on my own.’ You texted back. A few minutes later Jensen texted back ‘hey 😊 don’t work yourself to hard okay? Believe me, I’m sure my ex-wife has a few stories she could share about how much I worked on my previous job, even though she worked too but that’s beside the point. I’m glad you’re finally able to relax for the night. What did you have for dinner?’ he sent back with another smiley face.

You laughed and texted the picture of the take out menu, ‘my favorite Chinese place, it’s quick, easy and on my way home from work, plus they have the most amazing egg rolls in the entire world. I love them so much,’ Jay sent a message back a few moments later with two laughing faces. ‘Lucky, I love Chinese, I had dinner with a few friends of mine.’ The conversation carried on until you passed out mid-text. Jensen waited for ten minutes until he finally realized you’d fell asleep. He smiled, wondering if anything would you be able to meet some day? Would you like him, not because he is an actor and made lots of money but because he preferred chocolate syrup over his strawberry ice cream? Or how about the way he watches movies, a medium popcorn, because the small isn’t big enough to share, and it always disappears before the movie starts and the large is too big, way to much salt and butter; two candy choices, a sweet and a sour, both enhance and cancels the salty popcorn, as well as a large soda. How about how he cooks, slow, but to perfection, and there’s always a meat, potato, and vegetable. He was more worried you were just interested in the fame, not for who he really was. But maybe this trip would help him clear his head some.

@adriellej @sgarrett49 @smoothdogsgirl @mrssamfuckingwinchester @hobby27 @traceyaudette @mogaruke @thewalkingdistancefrom @booger206 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @heimganger @moonlitskinwalker @teamfreewill-imagine @stoneygirl @monkeymcpoopoo @sandlee44 @asgardianvamp21 @frozenhuntress67 @babypink224221 @just-another-busy-fangirl @flamencodiva @for-the-love-of-the-fandom @auriel187 @animenerdz1819 @jessica-marsh09 @woodworthti666

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clickbaitcas · 4 years ago

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my mollins for the follower celebration!!! congrats grace!!

AHH I finished one! This took me so long slfks sorry! I don’t really know,, yea. Anyway, hope y’all enjoy!! (also I didn’t mean to write it in second person but.... things happen)

“Right this way, folks,” the tour guide announced before opening the door.

As you passed, you noticed the words on it were rather unusual. Things like “blow seeds to make your wish” and “glam tanks” and “coin tossing” were written on it, and there was a round porthole at the top. Your friend made you take this tour, “You need a distraction, Tori,” and you weren’t entirely sure what they got you into. You finally looked around the room you were in. It was beautiful. It felt like you were outside, there were giant dandelions, grass, trees and flowers. The air smelled sweet and fresh and there was a gentle breeze that warmed your face and toyed with your hair. In the center of this room was a fountain, but you hadn’t seen anything like it before. It was ornately carved with dandelion seeds and four leaf clovers and ornate swirls. It had three tiers, and at the top water spewed out in a beautiful arc that went straight down to the next level.

There were soft exclamations of “wow” and ooing and ahing as the rest of your group fanned out into the room. Some people marveled at the size of the dandelions and you heard one guy chattering about how this one particular flower was only found in like, Timbuktu, or something. Most people made their way to the fountain, following the tour guide. He was dressed sharply with a white short-sleeved button down and plaid pants you wished you would be able to pull off as well as he did. He had a few papers in his hands, presumably some notes on what to say or where to go next.

“This is the wishing fountain,” he stated, looking like he’d done this a billion times before and at this point the novelty of it had worn off. “Drop a penny in the fountain, or make a wish on one of the dandelions, and it is said that all your dreams will come true.”

You thought it was worth a shot, so you dug a penny out of your wallet before thinking of something to wish for. As you stood there thinking the tour guide walked up to you.

“What are you gonna wish for?” he asked.

“I’m not sure yet. First I’m trying to decide whether or not the fountain actually grants wishes.”

At that he leaned in close, whispering in your ear, “Can I tell you a secret?” When you nodded he went on. “I’ve worked here for years, and everyone’s wish comes true by the end of the tour. Now, I don’t believe in magic or anything but, there is something special about this place.” He gestured to the room around them. “It’s probably my favorite room in the whole building, just because of the atmosphere. I don’t know how they make it seem so real.”

“Have you made a wish in the fountain?” You inquired.

“Me? Oh no, employees aren’t allowed to.”

“Why not?”

He shrugged, “House rules, I guess.”

“Well, if you could, what would you wish for?”

He looked a little taken aback. “No one’s asked me that before.”

“Well, I’m sure you thought about it. C’mon, I need ideas here,” you teased.

“I would wish-” he paused before leaning in and whispering in your ear again. “I would wish-”

He got cut off by the sound of a buzzer. Clearing his throat he leaned away from you and raised his voice so everyone could hear him, “Alright folks, that sound means another group is on its way. We’ve got to get to our next stop on the tour.” Amidst the sounds of groans from everyone who didn’t want to leave he gave you an apologetic look. You shrugged and stuck the penny back in your pocket, you didn’t know what you’d wish for anyway, and joined the people following the tour guide out of the room. He stayed at the door to make sure everyone left, while the rest of the people gathered in the rotunda the door led out from.

The rest of the tour was slightly boring, until you got to the last room. You couldn’t say what was in the room, but suddenly it was filled with gasps as people received notifications on their phones and cries of “that’s exactly what I wished for in the fountain room!” You glanced over at the tour guide, and he looked back at you. You weren’t sure what the look he gave you meant so you look around at all these people getting their wishes. It was pretty awesome to see, although you were disappointed that you didn’t get a change to make a wish.

“Another time,” you told yourself as you made your way towards the door.

You were stopped by a hand on your elbow. You turned around to see the tour guide was the one who caught you.

“Sorry you didn’t get to make a wish…” he let go of your elbow quickly and shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, you know, it’s fine. I can always take the tour again,” you try to seem positive but you’re not entirely sure it’s working because he gives you a sympathetic look.

All of a sudden his eyes light up and he leans in close once again, “Come back tonight after hours, I’ll take you to the fountain.”

You were about to protest but he disappeared and you were pushed out the door by the crowd.

You looked around anxiously. It was weird to be here at night, everything so quiet. Your arms crossed over your body and you tapped your foot. Your breathing was too loud.

The sound of a door opening broke the silence and you turned, ready to make up an excuse as to why you were here after hours, but it was just your tour guide. He beckoned for you to come in and you took one more glance around before scurrying through the door. The man put a finger to his lips and waved his arm for you to follow him.

When you were finally in the room again, you both breathed a sigh of relief. It was dark but you could see well enough by the light of… the moon?

“It’s even more gorgeous at night,” you breathed.

“I’m Misha, by the way,” Misha held his hand out for you to shake. “Figured I’d introduce myself since we’re breaking the rules together.”

You chuckled and took his hand, “Victoria, Tori.”

“Well, Tori, do you know what you’re gonna wish for?”

You just nodded and gave him a small smile.

He took your hand and led you down to the center of the room, to the fountain. You both stood in silence for a moment, just admiring the beauty of it. Then, you reached into your pocket and grabbed the penny you had left there earlier that day. Closing your eyes, you whispered the wish, just loud enough for the penny to hear before you pulled your arm back and tossed it into the fountain.

You opened one eye and then the other, looking around to see if anything had changed. Things looked… the same. Misha was standing a little ways away, watching you with a soft smile on his face. You made eye contact but quickly looked away.

“What’d you wish for?” he asked with a smirk, walking closer to you.

“If I tell you, it won’t come true, c’mon dude you work in a… wish factory, you should know this.”

He leaned in close once again, “You do know that’s a lie, right?”

“What?”

“Yeah. It’s a lie made up by the wish industry.”

You laughed a little, “You’re joking, right?”

He just shrugged and nodded his head towards the direction of the door. “Here, we have to finish the tour so that you’ll get your wish.”

You took his offered hand and he led you through the rest of the factory until you got to that last room. You both stood there in silence for a little, facing each other. Looking up at him, you noticed how pretty his eyes are. They’re an intense blue that you can see clearly even though the room was pretty dark. You suddenly noticed how close the two of you were standing, but you didn’t mind. He reached out to take your hands in his.

“I think I know what you wished for,” he said softly. “And I think you’ve been wishing for it for a while.”

You blinked. “How did you-”

“When you work here as long as I have, you begin to predict what things people wish for. Money, fame, love, those are the most common. You walked in looking so lonely, I had to help you.”

“Oh,” you breathed. He wasn’t magic, he was just… intuitive.

“How long?”

You looked down and he rested his forehead against yours, giving you a bit of strength. You weren’t sure why you were trusting him, but there was just something about him that made you feel safe.

“Six months,” was your response. Six months since your heart was ripped out of your chest and squashed like a big, pulsating grape. Six months since you’d felt anything like how you felt with Misha, a man you literally just met.

“That’s too long for someone like you.”

He let go of one of your hands and used it to push your chin up so that you were looking at him again.

“You deserve so much better, Tori.”

The way he said your name made it sound so beautiful. You leaned up just a little and-

You woke up and stretched before making your way downstairs. The smell of pancakes filled your nose and as you entered the kitchen you saw your beautiful husband at the stove. He had one of your daughter’s aprons tied around his waist, and she was sitting next to him on the counter, spooning the batter into the pan.

“Goodmorning, honey,” he said without turning around. “Maison and I are just making some flapjacks for breakfast.”

“They’re blueberry!” your daughter said excitedly.

“Maison made the batter.”

“Well, they smell delicious guys,” you said, kissing the top of your daughter’s head and your husband’s cheek. “Should I go wake up West?”

“Nah, let him sleep in a bit, he’ll get up when he gets up.”

You sat down at the kitchen table and smiled. You don’t know how your life turned out so great, but it was everything you could have wished for.

#ahh the others will be coming....soon #grace writes stuff #mollins posting #follower celebration #grace answers asks?#glittercas #did I just write a fic about Misha and Vicki? maybe.

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hunting-winchester · 4 years ago

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My thoughts on the finale

(Sorry, this ended up being soooo much longer than I intended, but it was also therapeutic for me to get it out, so if you read it all, sorry again, but thanks!)

I’ve been sitting on this for the past week trying to sort through my feelings about all of this. But the finale of Supernatural, while it did make me cry because my comfort show for the past 3 years (has it really only been 3 years since I started this side blog?) has ended, which was my distraction from the deaths of not only close family but also a friend whose death still affects me today. The newer seasons helped me more in the dealing with death, and I’ll explain that later, but I feel like the end of the show kind of took all of that and threw it out the window with a note that states “we don’t care.”

I’m not here to be mad at the actors. I know none of this is their fault. They did their best to make a great end to a show that was written for them. Their acting was spot on and made me feel for the characters that both them and I love so much. However, the ending took that love and put it through the grinder and I do put most (if not all) the blame on the network.

So I binged Supernatural in the summer of ‘17 within a month. I started it because I remembered my mom watching an episode when I was about 7 or 8 and I was so fascinated by it (episode Route 666 where Dean hangs up on Sam after the ghost truck disappears because Sam had a hunch that the truck couldn’t drive on hallowed ground. Dean didn’t like the idea that it was just a hunch, sticks in my mind). Within the first 5 episodes I was in love with the boys, and while I loved them both I became drawn to Dean over the next few seasons. Now I love them both, but like many others I started to see myself in him. Some anger issues with a heart so big that he would do anything to help his family. And a little bit of self depreciation that starts to escalate a bit more as the seasons go on.

Then I made it to Lazarus Rising. I met this absolute badass character who later becomes part of the family. He grows into the most kind hearted character that tries to do everything in the name of good, even when it tends to go a little off the rails. Then I saw a little bit of me in him as well. Good intentions, sometimes misguided, and only wants the best for the ones he loves.

I’ll focus more on the season I was here live for, not because the earlier seasons didn’t matter but because this is where things became really personal in my life. Supernatural 13 started on October 12, and on the 23rd I lost my friend. Everything started falling apart around me and nothing made sense. Nothing made sense about why them because it should be the terrible people that die terrible deaths, not good people. And while nothing seemed right in the world, I knew one thing for sure- that Supernatural will still be on just as scheduled and nothing could take that from me. So I made sure to still find time to watch that episode because I’ll be damned if I let this whole week go to hell. Let me find at least one good thing to happen. And while the scene didn’t fix the shitshow that became my life that week, a little bit of happiness raised in me when I saw Cas in the last scene of the episode.

So especially from that point on the show became of my little world away from reality. My reality sucked and, sure the Winchester’s lives weren’t all sunshine and rainbows, it was a nice distraction for an hour a week when I can watch the characters I care about continue to keep loving the ones they love.

The season continued then ended with a nice lead into season 14. I love Jensen and was ready to see how he would tackle the new role of Michael. So ready for the new season, in a new town 3 hours away from my hometown, (motivation being that I felt too close to everything that happened with my friend) and just ready to see where life would take me. Then I lost my Grandfather and my Aunt within a month of each other and absolutely no one would hire in the town I moved to. So another shitty summer and I end up moving back home within 3 months.

I continued watching Supernatural when it aired again in October; grateful for the hour weekly distraction again, and I kept up with it. I would log onto here after the episode, reblog things and read people’s reactions. I enjoy this community so much. Then the episode came in ‘19 where Dean was in the infirmary after having his head bashed against the wall a couple times and Jack was worried about whether he’d get through it. And the speech Cas gave is something that has stuck with me ever since then, because since the death of my friend it had been the same thing I had been telling myself.

Jack: What’s the point- if everyone I care about is just gonna leave?

Cas: The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them. When they’re gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.

This felt absolutely validating to me. I was tired of hurting. I was done with and angry at everything and felt as if I just wanted it to be gone, but I kept telling myself that it only hurts because I loved them so much. When I heard that line, watching my favorite character recite it to Jack, it felt as if he was talking to me because it was something that I needed to hear at that point in my life. It felt as if they knew I needed saving and reached through the screen to pull me up and say what you’re feeling is valid and there are people out there who are feeling like you are now, and all of you will end up okay.

So I took this to heart and lived the best I could everyday. I turned that into my mantra and started living the life I knew they would want me to; with kindness and love and understanding.

I owe a lot to these characters. I owe my ability to go forth with kindness and understanding to Cas for making me feel valid. I owe my ability to move past my anger and finding my identity to Dean. I owe a lot to Misha and Jensen to bringing these characters to the point that I can feel all of this. To get to the point that I may be a little healthier than I was 3 years ago.

And then season 15. The final season. The season where I say goodbye.

It started out as a nice tribute I believe. They had brought back some old characters that we had missed (lordy I missed Kevin and Adam). They did some things that we had talked about a lot on this platform that we would love to see before the series ended. It seemed like it would be a good ending to a show we all love. We saw what our boys went through all these years and they were evident in the beginning of the season and was slowly being pulled through the season. We saw how they differed from the early season and got to see them with their new-found family. Do I wish more of the episode included more of TFW 2.0? Of course, but I’m still happy we got as much as we did... up until the end.

Episode 18. We knew it was coming before it happened. There was so much speculation about this after the convention where Misha and Jensen had both talked about the emotional scene that Richard Speight Jr. directed. How it was a hard day on set and that absolutely no one was cracking jokes during this time which was a really big indication about how important this scene would be. We knew what would happen, but we didn’t know what all would happen.

We got Cas’ confession, and as much as some are like “you can interpret that as you like,” we knew what was meant here. We knew where Cas was coming from and to see his happiness to save the one that he loves was something I will never forget from when I first watched it.

And after all this hype for this after the fact, not just from fans but also the actors, we knew there had to be more to this. This was a monumental moment! There had to be more! But we know where this is going.

Episode 19. Not much to report. Which as Jensen had put it, episode 19 was the season finale and episode 20 would be the series finale. Episode 19 ended like I thought it would generally. Chuck is finished. Jack is the new God (which some of us guess would happen at the beginning of the season. I feel amazed we got something right after the fiasco that is episode 20). I still don’t understand the montage at the end of 19. That’s what I would have expected at the end of 20. If only we knew that was the first of SO. MANY. DAMN. POINTLESS. MONTAGES. But I’ll move on for now.

Episode 20. If you would have asked me 13 years ago how this show would end, I feel as if this episode would be pretty damn close to my answer. That’s not good writing. “Oh Dean dies and Sam gets to live and have an ‘apple pie’ life. Makes total sense!” And that would make sense if nothing in the last 13 years happened. There has been so much growth in not only the last 13 years but also just within the last season, and it’s just all gone. Dean dies, not because he wanted to, but because of another hunt that his dad didn’t even finish. Something that could have been done in season 1. He dies, not ready, not having the chance to finally experience freedom from his “destiny” (something that this show has made them fight against since the introduction of the angels might I add!), not giving an ounce of effort to stay alive, and not ever really finding peace. I’m sorry but there was absolutely no way that Dean could find the shred of peace he deserved within 2 weeks of escaping Chuck’s grasp. But this is where I started having issues in the episode.

Dean, a character I love and saw myself in for years, dies before he finds peace and in all honesty, true happiness. A character that has been known for suicidal actions and thoughts (episode 13x05 ring a loud bell?) and you decide to say he needs to die before it gets better? Or were you saying that it only gets better or peaceful for people like him after he dies? Because either way that sends a really shitty message. I don’t think I have found my peace. I think I’m better than I was a couple years ago, much like Dean, but I sure as Hell haven’t found my peace. So are you telling me that death is the only way I find it? Because I’m sure I’m not the only one reading it like this.

Dean gets a small hunter’s funeral (if you want to even call it that). No one they befriended or became family with along the way is there (sure, blame Covid. I’m sure it was part of it, but Hell. Surely something could have been done to bring at least a couple more people in for this). Then we get Dean’s heaven where Cas is mentioned in a throw away comment that you would miss if you weren’t intently paying attention (he’s out of the empty and helped with Dean’s heaven. Awesome. Show him then). We literally only see one person in Dean’s heaven. Bobby. Which he is great, but what about the “everyone we lost on the way” that was seriously just mentioned the episode before? They not there?

And from here, we get even more montages. Why the Hell, do we need to fast forward through Sam’s life, with shots of Dean driving around heaven? Why not explore more into Sam’s family (not just the wife and kids but also check up on Donna? Jody? Sweet goodness any indication of what the Hell happened to Eileen!?) Why not show Dean seeing his loved ones in his heaven? WHY NOT SHOW DEAN SEEING CAS AFTER WHAT HAPPENED IN 18? So much could have been done following up what happened in 18 and it was chosen to be ignored! Which is awful in so many damn ways, but it doesn’t matter for this because it was completely ignored. And after that 10 min montage (which montages should not last that long. I don’t care what anyone says. If a montage lasts that long, they could have made important scenes pertaining to that) Sam dies old and is greeted by Dean in Heaven and we look off into the sunset because finally we’re all happy... and dead.

All of this, and it feels like the message through this whole thing is “yall can fight for happiness, but yall won’t get it until you’re 6 feet down in a grave!” No peace. No found family. No fighting the good fight. Just death is the end, and that’s all that matters... and that’s where it all stings. I watched the characters I see myself in for years, got validation from them and felt as if things for them could get better after all of this, maybe they could for me too. Only things didn’t get better for them. It ended in death and only “happiness” after the fact. This isn’t a message I expected from this show, but it sure as Hell is the message I received.

So thanks C*W. Way to make all of this “keep fighting” mean absolute shit. You did a bang up job murdering a show you housed for years.

#supernatural #spn #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers #supernatural 15 #spn 15 #supernatural season 15 #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #jack kline #jensen ackles #misha collins #jared padalecki #alex calvert #spn 15x20 #carry on

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spnfanficpond · 5 years ago

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June 2020 Angel Fish Awards

(New Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle @mrswhozeewhatsis or Mana @manawhaat to check and make sure we got your submission.

Be sure to read through this whole post as people who were nominated more than once only had one tag activated for tumblr tagging purposes!

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE JUNE’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nonimated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters

I Thought You Were Going To Die (oneshot) by @fun-and-fandoms

My nominations for the month wouldn’t be complete without a little bit of angst. Though this one isn’t just that. If you’re easily triggered by mentions of depression and its symptoms, this one’s not for you. But it’s an important topic and I will always encourage any creator who uses their art to remind people it’s okay to talk about it. (Note from Kale, this was actually submitted in May but I missed it.)

More to Me (oneshot) by @becs-bunker

No spoilers, but I’m so glad this ended the way it did. So sweet <3

Help (oneshot) by @blushingjared

I came across this fic and was immediately intrigued. Then I started reading and I was captivated from the first sentence until the very last. The author did such a good job with setting the scene and painting the right picture.

Talking Bodies (oneshot) by @ne-gans

This AU-Sam is such a huge weakness of mine. That, in combination with this dangerously filthy masterpiece, is nothing short of perfection.

Nominated by @focusonspn

Into The Woods (series) by @amanda-teaches

So well written, interesting plot and great development. The chemistry between Y/N and Dean is also amazing, and I loved how this mini-series could be so easily part of the show. Totally worth reading.

Nominated by @thoughtslikeamindfield

Stranger Than FanFiction (series) by @cherry3point14

The premise is similar to the film Stranger Than Fiction – a story about a story being written about you – and it’s just as hilarious. Also, Cherry Pie is still one of the funniest writers in this corner of SPN fandom.

“You’re not supposed to move your head if there’s someone trying to murder you, probably…”

No, I wouldn’t think so, but lollllll

“You’re being insane, out loud.”

Omgggg

“It tried, oh, how the door tried to divert her attention from the unknown men who could be terrible, rule-breaking influences on her. However the door was only wood and she was a stubborn woman made of free will and limbs—a woman who refused to be deceived.”

“Your hand is on the doorknob before the mention of your limbs has finished rattling around your head. Realistically you don’t want to encourage the voice by doing what it says. After all, the voice’s ultimate goal seems to be killing you.”

BAHAHAHAH omfg you guys

I need to stop quoting from this bc I probably seem insane to those of you who haven’t read this, so stop being judgy buttheads and go read!

Nominated by @flamencodiva

The Choice (series) by @superfanficnatural

A couple of things. 1) this is an amazing fic that highlights Dean unwillingness to let himself go until it’s almost too late. and 2) the smut in this is hot hot hot hot! not for anyone under 18 years of age.

Mert has a way with words and can literally pluck you into one and make you see it as it comes to life in your head.

Mine (series) by @holylulusworld

Lulu has an abundance of different stories she tells and this one is my favorite of her ABO’s at the moment. (although I love all of them) I think this one deserved a mention. I am glad she joined to Pond so I could help nominate and spread her amazing work!

One Night at a Time (series) by @crashdevlin

Another great fic by Cassie! This one shot full of Angst, Smut, and if you squint just the right amount of Dean fluff. She has a way of capturing your attention and putting you in the world as you read.

What He Lost (oneshot) by @jensengirl83

This short story by Brandy is sure to rip your heart out. she leaves just a bit of hope where you think there is a chance only to crush it completely with the ending. This one is sure to bring you to tears if you are looking for the most delicious angsty story to read.

Nominated by @risingpheonix761

Down The Rabbit Hole (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence

So, this was hysterical. XD I love crack fics, and bad smut in particular, and this one hits the spot. (I’ve also learned several new horrible euphemisms lol). The ending, though? Golden!

Nominated by @myinconnelly1

The Affair (oneshot) by @holylulusworld

I love how well all the characters are portrayed I truly hate everyone except the reader! Well done!!

Red Riding Hood - or how you ran into a wolf... (oneshot) by @holylulusworld

I have nothing to say about this. I will simply allow the puddle I have become to speak for me.

Last Omega On Earth (oneshot) by @holylulusworld

This was a great entry in the ABO world. and we need more of this and more like !!!!! Great work!

My Beta (oneshot) by @holylulusworld

I am a greedy little bitch with this fic. I think I've read it 3-4 since i first read it this month!!!!!! READ THIS FIC!

Third Period (oneshot) by @fictionalabyss

Some truly inspiring smut. Inspiring to change my panties.

Gods of Twilight (series) by @thecleverdame

I think i posted this fic in my rec before, but it is so amazing and intricate that i can't stop gushing about it. Fucking awesome.

Apple Pie (oneshot) by @bad268

The amazingness of this is great, check this guppy out!

Deal (oneshot) by @bad268

Comedy at some of its's finest!!!

Confession (oneshot) by @idreamofplaid

THE FLUFFFFFFF!!!! I don't read straight fluff. So get the tissues ready.

Fallen (series) by idreamofplaid

My therapist has told me i'm not longer allowed to talk about this fic during our sessions. So instead i shall now talk about it here... *pulls out soapbox* ahem... *gets pulled away with hook*

Memory (oneshot) by @idreamofplaid

This fic is older, but i love it so much. I recently went back and reread it, and the angst and reconciliation in this fic are heartwrenching.

Home (oneshot) by @emilyshurley

My dentist bill the month was higher than normal, due to the new cavities caused by this fic.

Imperfectly Yours (oneshot) by @emilyshurley

Cuteness overload as you get Dean's perspective of Home ^^

Second Hand News (oneshot) by @emilyshurley

Alright listen. I am a glutton for punishment. And this fic, I asked for. Also i had it set within one of the universes we now own. That all being said, reading this was like a dose of my own medicine and it fucking hurt.

Honesty And Lies (oneshot) by @crashdevlin

This was super dirty, and great. Totally recommend.

Nominated by @deanwinchesterswitch

The Classifieds (oneshot) by @talesmaniac89

This is rip your heart out and stomp on it angst right here. So well written, but so, so heartbreaking.

So Much More Than Perfect (oneshot) by @imagineteamfreewill

This fic is one of the sweetest things I’ve ever read. It made me tear up a bit, but who doesn’t love Dean being the most protective, most adorable dad ever?!

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661

Dear Dean (series) by @smol-and-grumpy

It’s one of those series that makes you wants more after every chapter. It’s a brilliant story.

Left Behind (series) by @kittenofdoomage

It’s the only John Fic I can read over and over and over again. Its hot, the plot is awesome! And it makes me wants more each and every time I read it.

Not Much Left (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

I think Beka tries to kill her readers every time she writes smut… or she just tap into our mind what we want or what we fantasize about. Every single time I’m speechless by her talents!

Yes Professor (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

It’s a Misha fic, there’s no one who write Misha the way Beka does!!!

Owe You One (series) by @supernatural-jackles

It’s such a great series! The friends with Benefit and Mechanic!Dean… I just love this so much and I don’t have words to describe how good this one is!!

Flirty In French (oneshot) by @fictionalabyss

This is brilliant, and I know its an old one, but from someone who finally decided to read more and from someone who is from Quebec, this is absolutely brilliant! The flirty french pick up line are so hilarious!

Nominated by @moosekateer13

Watching for Comets (series) by @holylulusworld

This fic beautifully captures the song that it was inspired by.

It also showcases things that when things are meant to be.

I’ll will all fall into place.

Please Trust Me (oneshot) by @holylulusworld

This fic beautifully emotionally captures what it’s like to have trust issues.

Nominated by @fictionalabyss

Last Call (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

It was everything we needed and wanted.

Culinary Exploits (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

Too utterly ridiculous not to get a mention.

His Omega (oneshot) by @iflostreturntosteverogers

A sweet little comfort fic of Dean being utterly perfect caring for his Omega. Carrie also pulled off keeping this gender neutral, which isn’t something I see a lot of, and probably something I’d struggle with, so hats off to you, babe.

Poison (oneshot) by @supernatural-jackles

YES omg i feel this on such a level. I’ve gone through that shit myself. A friend who lets you down so profoundly but then acts as if you’re the most toxic person in the world. Nothing feels as good as letting go of that shit and moving on to better things. This was beautiful, and perfect, and TRUTH.

Amara (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

This one hurt. It really hurt, but it hurt so good that I’m left wanting more.

Take Me Now (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87

If Dawn doesn’t continue this, I’ll riot.

Stuck On You (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage

I rarely read a fic this long (I just don’t usually have the time) but it looked too interesting for me to scroll past, and it had me completely captivated. I needed to know what would happen as if I needed air, even though I could guess how it ended, I needed to read the words. Phenomenal.

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

#afa masterlist #afa awards #angel fish awards #spn fic rec #spn fanfic #afas #fan fiction #fanfiction #fan fic #spn fan fiction #spn fanfiction #spn fan fic #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fan fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #fic rec #supernatural fic rec

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holylulusworld · 5 years ago

Text

Sweetheart

Summary: Lost in low self-esteem you find someone loving you the way you are.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: angst, mentions of infidelity/unrequited feelings, comforting, fluff, tension, smut, unprotected sex, possessive Jensen, breeding kink (a hint), there’s a hint of dark!Jensen or rather he’s sneaky, overuse of the pet name “Sweetheart”

“You okay over there, Sweetheart?” Blinking a few times, you can’t believe Jensen Ackles is talking to you. “Did you hear me?”

“Yeah, sorry. I was just trying to find out which tea I want to order or something.” Lying you want to hide you thought about your break-up four months ago.

“I know you are not okay, and for sure you didn’t think about tea or a cupcake, Sweetheart. Just tell me what’s wrong. We are one big family here.” Jensen steps closer, gently placing one hand onto your shoulder.

“It’s nothing.” Sniffling you wipe a few tears away. “I just thought about my ex-boyfriend and why I was not enough. Maybe I should cut my hair or lose weight. I don’t know…”

“Y/N, that’s your name, right?” Nodding you look at the floor not meeting Jensen’s eyes. “Why are you saying something like that? Your hair looks great, you look great, more than great, Sweetheart.”

Using the pet name again Jensen steps closer to order your favorite tea and a coffee, along with two cupcakes.

“How do you know my favorite tea?” While you look puzzled at Jensen who is busy to grab his order he smirks at you, tilting his head to brush his lips over your ear.

“I was stalking you, Y/N. How about we sit over there, and you tell me about your shitty ex and why you believe you need to change.” Following Jensen toward a bench, you sigh as you sit next to him.

“Malcolm, that’s my ex, he said after I caught him with his ex-girlfriend that I’m boring and fat, not sexy enough. He said that’s the reason he cheated on me.” Nibbling at the cupcake Jensen handed you your eyes refuse to meet Jensen’s.

“Sweetheart, you are not fat nor boring to me. I like my girl with curves and all.” Something predatory in his gaze Jensen leans closer, lips inches from the sweet spot behind your ear. “I’d like to see more of you.”

Shivering you got no clue why someone like Jensen would flirt with you. He’s way out of your league and you are sure this must be a sick bet or something.

“If that’s a bet, you will lose it, okay. I know it’s funny to you to hurt other people, but I had my share of hurting for this year. Just leave me be…” Sniffling you toss the cupcake away before you run toward the exit, angrily wiping the tears away.

“Holy…What did you say to her, Jay?” Blinking Jensen shrugs, not knowing what he did wrong. “I thought you wanted to ask her out.”

“I got no clue, Misha. I saw her standing near the food truck and tried to talk to her. I swear I didn’t say anything wrong. Shit…” Running after you Jensen drops his coffee during his chase.

“Wait! Y/N, please wait…” Panting he finally corners you, pressing you against a trailer. “Jesus you are fast for such a tiny girl…”

“I’m not that small…” Predatory look all over his face again Jensen smirks, humming against your ear.

“You are tiny and cute…” His lips brush your sweet spot this time and you press your hands weakly against Jensen’s chest. “I like you, okay. Whatever you thought about me, you are wrong. There’s no bet going on or something.”

“I’m not cute or dumb. Why should someone like you be into me? I’m just…” Looking down your body you shrug. “Plain and meek.”

“Sweetheart, you make me go crazy here. I’m telling you one last time my girl is beautiful, sexy and according to what I know about you smart too. Now let’s talk about having dinner tonight.” Gasping you feel his hand's cup your face before his lips press against yours.

“Mr. Ackles?”

“Jensen, or Jay. I’m not Mr. Ackles to you, Sweetheart. My girl won’t call me Mr. Ackles.” You want to feel flattered, but the predatory look Jensen gives you is something you never saw before and it frightens you a bit.

“I’m not…”

Lips silence you once again Jensen moves his fingers into your hair, pressing you against his lips.

“You’re my girl, Y/N. Now let me tell you how you can make up to me that you thought I’m not honest…”

----

Weeks passed and slowly you got used to Jensen being always around. He insisted on you moving closer to his house. Also, he wants you to stay at his trailer during filming and he never leaves you out of sight for long.

He calls it love; you slowly doubt love should suffocate you. On the other hand, you are falling hard for the handsome and caring man, still, there’s this nagging voice telling you Jensen didn’t joke about stalking you.

“Hey, Baby. I got a surprise for you.” Jensen shows you a bouquet of roses and your heart melts, while the nagging voice falls silent.

“This is too much, Jensen.” Sniffling you gently touch the roses. “But those are beautiful. No one ever gave me such beautiful flowers…” Jensen smiles, licking his lips as you hug him tightly, leaning your head against his chest. “Thank you, Jay. I…love you…”

A gasp leaves Jensen’s lips as his eyes darken and his cock twitched in interest.

“How about we spend the night at my house, and we can have a nice evening?” Jensen whispers as you hold him tighter.

“I want to stay tonight…”

“I know…”

----

Your voice is hoarse from moaning Jensen’s name. His rough hands pin yours down to his bed as he possessively drives into you, calling you his Sweetheart while he looks at you underneath him.

“So beautiful for me, call my name, Sweetheart.” Jensen groans as you wrap your legs tightly around his waistline, nodding eagerly to urge him on.

“Please…harder…Jay…” Your cries turn Jensen on like nothing before. He had his doubts, was afraid you would reject him but here you are, trembling under his body, crying out for more of him.

“Hold tight…” Hands pressing Jensen to your body, soles digging into his lower back you try to meet his thrusts.

Lost in the pleasure you overhear his praises or that he calls you his repeatedly.

All you hear are his heavy pants and your voice calling his name, praising him with every snap of his hips.

“I never…please…oh…Jay…” Your nails scratch down his back, causing Jensen to shudder on top of you as your walls ache for release.

“Come for me, Sweetheart, give your future husband all you have in you…”

Tears well up to your eyes as the coil snaps and you cry out one last time, not caring he didn’t use protection.

While Jensen bucks into you, filling you with his cum you lie underneath him, limp, mind clouded by pure pleasure.

“What did you mean with husband?” The predatory look is back and you moan as Jensen licks into your mouth, silencing your doubts with his lips.

“I will marry you, Y/N. I’m old-fashioned. If we have a baby, I’ll marry you before you show…” Your eyes round and you look down your connected bodies, whimpering as Jensen’s cum seeps out of you.

“Baby…whoa…slow down, Jay. We barely know each other. It’s not that I do not want a baby but…” Your protest gets swallowed by his lips once again and you melt as his hands tangle in your hair.

“I want a baby with you, want you to become my wife but we can take it slow, Y/N. You’re the one, I just knew it from the moment you started to work on set.” Jensen whispers between kisses. “I love you, and you will always be my girl…”

----

Your body limp in his arms, mind exhausted you rest your heavy head on Jensen’s pillow. His lips pressed against your throat, arms tightly around your body he calls you his Sweetheart again.

“You knew from the moment you met me?” Whimpering you let Jensen nip at your neck, groaning as you feel too good in his arms. “Yeah…” Husking the words against your ear Jensen smirks as you fall silent.

“Malcolm never said such a thing. I think he only wanted me to get off, or to not be alone. Some people only have a relationship to not feel alone. I don’t want this anymore. I…” Shushing you Jensen holds your tighter, pressing your soft body against his chest.

“I want more than someone to be with me for not feeling alone, too. You know, commitment and all. Malcolm never was the right man for you, I knew when he came to set to talk to you.” Jensen’s hand gently caresses your skin and you are close to falling asleep when Jensen’s words let your eyes snap open.

“You met Malcolm?” Wondering when Jensen met your ex you turn around in his arms, blinking at the dark look on his face. “When…?”

“Some months ago that guy came to the set, looking for you. He was pissed as you had to work and Jared told him to wait. Malcolm isn’t a patient guy and started to sneak around the set. I had to tell him to wait and he was going at me like a feral dog.” Jensen smirks, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“I’m sorry, he always was impatient and…”

“That’s not your fault, Sweetheart, only his. I was waiting for you to come around and kept an eye on him. We started to talk, and I might have let slip I believe you are way too good for him…sorry…” Jensen’s eyes tell a different story but you nod, not wanting to remember your ex.

“Maybe you are right…” Sighing you hang your head low, but Jensen lifts your chin with his index finger, shaking his head. “Don’t do this. He never deserved you and I made clear he got the message…”

“How…?”

“I told him so. I guess he thought about my words and that’s the reason he cheated on you. I’m sorry…” Hiding your face into Jensen’s chest you can’t see the smirk on his plump lips.

What Jensen didn’t tell you is the fact he called you his Sweetheart in front of Malcolm and that he paid the man you called your boyfriend to stay away from you.

That Malcolm cheated on you wasn’t the plan, but Jensen takes what he gets.

From the moment you entered the set, he knew you will be his. Not just his girl, no…his Sweetheart…”

SPN Forever Tags

@donnaintx, @screechingartisancashbailiff, @fallen-wolf22, @sister-winchesters99, @mogaruke, @the-is13, @helloitsmeamie203, @strayrosesbloom, @thewinchesterco, @hobby27, @kittycatlover18, @gh0stgurl, @marvelfansworld , @sandlee44, @hawaiianohana31-deactivated2020, @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt, @katpatrova17, @notyourtypicalrose , @heyitscam99, @flamencodiva, @echoesofpassion, @cocklesbelli, @voltage-my2dlove @fandom-princess-forevermore @thenamelesschibi, @lauravic, @fandomsrourlives, @wittysunflower, @drakelover78, @lemondropirwin, @lonewolf471, @wronglanemendes, @spnhollis, @void-imaginations, @jay-and-dean, @shatteredabby, @juniorhuntersam, @helpmeluci, @neii3n, @goodgodimaweirdperson, @alltimesamantha, @chonisberonica, @supernaturalonice, @stuckys-whore, @shadowkat-83, @officialmarvelwhore, @wecantgiggleitsafandom, @meganywinchester, @shikshinkwon, @miraclesoflove, @yolobloggers, @lu-sullivan, @maniacproffesor, @hollymac79, @straycuties9, @kayla-2000, @ilovefanfic86, @gracefultrenchcoat494, @babygirls-fav, @spnwoman, @amiquette, @linki-locks11, @geekofmanyforms, @eggingamazinglove, @jessica-marsh09, @spnficgirl, @shut-themoonscone, @thequeenreaders, @countrygal17a, @kteelou, @soryuwifeyxx, @kricketc28, @atomicfandombomb, @defenderrosetyler, @shortwinchester, @maybesomedaygayyyy, @tmiships4life, @deanmonandnegansbitch, @exo-nova, @laxe-from-outer-space, @sabascio, @that-place-called-middle-earth, @the-broken-angel-13, @bunnybaby89, @pandabiiissh, @maddiedott, @fandom-imagines1, @lilulo-12, @theoneandonlymelol, @mblaqgi, @sea040561, @clawsandshotguns, @justsomedreaming , @differentstudentrunawaysposts, @hhiggs, @deepmuffinspymaker, @certaindeanwinchesterforcastiel, @cassiopeia-barrow, @mep6811, @jo-like-josette, @supernaturalenchanted, @mscarter213, @trumpettay, @waywardbaby, @its-the-timey-wimey-winchesters, @zxph-yr, @i-love-superhero

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags

@spnfamily-j2, @supernatural-bellawinchester, @butifulsoul125, @lyinginthegingerlocks, @deans-baby-momma, @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester, @20gayneen, @janicho88, @thefaithfulwriter, @dreaminemz, @negans-lucille-tblr, @akshi8278, @midnightsilver16830, @mrspeacem1nusone, @ria132love, @caligraphee, @the-witch-in-silence, @multisuperfandom, @deansgirl-1968, @justanotherwinchester, @jadesupernatural, @squirrelnotsam, @gaveherhearttotheliontattoo, @roonyxx, @jason-todd-squad, @thevelvetseries, @spnsuper17, @adoptdontshoppets, @woodworthti666, @frederikkeborup, @psychicforest, @luciathewinchestergirl, @michellemxndes, @addictedtofictionalcharacters, @gabifernandessn, @magssteenkamp, @neerness, @jxackles, @tranquility-or-chaos

#spn #spn fanfiction #angst #smut #possessive jensen #RPF #Supernatural RPF #spn rpf #rpf fanfic #Misha Collins #Jensen Ackles #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles one shots #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen x reader #jensen x you #sweetheart

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jawritter · 5 years ago

Text

Doctor?

Request: Damn, your latest Dean smut story was amazing😍 and I also read your Masterlist, and girl, Dammn! I saw that you have written two Medical related request. So here's just one weird request, can you write some medical!kink or like Doctor!kink with Jensen? There so rare stories on these! It's okay if you say no😅

Warnings: Smut!! Roll Play, Doctor!Kink, Medical!Kink, Oral (Female receiving), language. Other than that I think that’s it.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Word Count: 1850

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine! Please don’t copy my stuff! This may not be exactly what you where looking for anon, but it’s definatly something I’ve never done before. Sorry if it’s a little cheesy. As always feedback is gold! Hope you enjoy!

Well here it was, the last few shooting days for Supernatural. It had been a very quick nine months. Quicker than all other filming seasons over the last almost ten years you had been married to Jensen.

It was now down to the last few days of shooting, and the end at this point was inevitable. The boys seemed to be taking it in stride, alone with the rest of the cast and crew members that make up everything that is Supernatural.

The hardest part over the last few days had to be the going through and breaking down of sets and things that weren't needed anymore. Propers were being taken by warner brothers to either be stored, or in some cases auctioned off from charities.

Today the boys were going over to the costume storage trailer, going through it to pick an old costume to sign and then send it to be auctioned off for the charity of their choosing. It had been hours now, and you didn't expect it to go quickly. I mean you basically give Jensen and Jared the keys to a bunch of costumes. Those overgrown man children were going to be in there goofing off all night. Throw Misha in the mix and you weren't going to lie, you were slightly concerned for his safety.

Jared had been doing all he could to get Misha these last few filming days. Getting in all the pranks, pies, and close calls he could before they yelled that's a wrap for the final time.

You were just about to settle in to catch up on an episode of the Walking Dead while you waiting for Jensen to come back to the trailer so that you could both go home to your home away from home, his apartment in Vancouver, for the night.

You hadn't even gotten five minutes in when you heard the door to the trailer open and close. You looked up from you movie that you had playing on your little laptop and couldn't help the fit of laughter that fell from your lips as you took in your husband. Standing there in Dean's doctors coat and dark blue scrubs from the episode 'Changing Channels' shot back in season five.

He spun around for you with the most adorable grin on his face. "What! It still fits pretty good I think." He said with a proud smirk.

"Jay I thought you were supposed to be picking a costume to be auctioned off for charity. Not playing dress up." You said. Still trying to contain your fit of laughter.

"I've already done it."

"This is the one?" You asked, you could see a hint of something mischievous in his olive green eyes as he smirked at you.

"Nope. Just thought we could... Borrow this..." he said, gesturing at himself.

You blinked at him for a moment unable to stop yourself from biting down on your lower lips. He did look delicious in those scrubs. That honestly was doing very little to hide the fact that he was packing in the most important places, and he knew it.

He saluted over to where you were sitting.

"I think your WAY past due for your physical ma'am." He drew out. Letting his Texas accent show just a little bit. You eyed the way that his white coat hung off of his muscular body and couldn't help playing along..

"Well Doctor. That's why I'm here. They tell you that your... thurow..." You tell him, and watch his eyes darken as he looks at you.

He gives you his best heart stopping smile. The one that usually makes your brain turn to mush.

"Well Mrs. I think you should make your way into my office so that we can get this started. Don't want to keep my patient waiting.." He said, Grabbing your hand and leading you into the small bedroom of his trailer. Shutting the door behind the two of you before his lips were on yours.

He kissed you breathless. His tongue invading your mouth, dominating yours. Stealing your breaths from you as his hands roamed your body. Breaking the kiss just long enough to pull your shirt over your head.

"Where are you gonna start Doctor?" You asked him sweetly. He gave you a wicked smirk that made you wetter than you'd ever been in your life, and he'd barely ever even touched you.

"Oh, this is gonna be a head to toe exam sweetheart. Starting at the ears." He nipped and kissed his way up to the shell of your ear. Taking it between his teeth gently sending a shiver through your body in the best way.

"Then we're going to check on that pulse." He whispered in your ear. kissing and sucking his way down your neck to your pulse point before biting down gently. Just enough to make a moan fall from your lips.

His hot breath fanned over your skin as he chucked against your neck. His hands trailing up your back. Taking the clasp of your bra expertly in one hand and popping it lose like it was nothing at all. Letting it fall to the floor at your feet.

"Then we're going to move you to the bed, and let me get a good check on these beautiful breasts." He said, Walking your backwards to the bed until the back of your legs hit the bedframe and you fell down gently on the bed. Crawling up the bed to the pillows. Jensen crawling over you, his white Doctor's coat hoving on either side of your bodies.

He attacked your jaw line again with much more fervor than before, grinding his already thickening bulge against your covered core. Sending just the right amount of friction where you needed him most as his tongue graced over your nippes. Pulling each of them with his teeth. Letting them stand on end for him. Tracing the swells of your breast with his tongue. Leaving little love bites on the sensitive skin there. Before moving to the valley of your cleavage between your breast. Kissing all the way down your stomach to your hips.

Pulling your pants and underwear off in one go, without so much as a word. Completely lost in his work. Sliding your socks from each foot. Kissing every new inch of skin that was revealed to him.

"Then we're gonna make sure that those legs muscles work properly." Running his lips and fingers over your thighs, down to your knees watching as your muscles jumped and retracted under his feather light touch. Every touch sends waves of fire in it's wake.

"Then comes my favorite part." He said, Lowering his head until his warm breath was fanning over your already soaking core before licking a strip through your folds. Stopping at your clit. Swirling his tongue around it before sucking it into his mouth. Your body arched off the bed and sounds fell from your lips that would have made a porn star jealous. Jensen ate at you like a starving man. Sending wave after wave of pleasure coursing through your body until you were absolutely shaking under him.

When you thought you couldn't get any closer to the edge without falling over he slipped two of his thick digits inside of you, curling them and pumping them in and out of you in time with his licks at your swollen clit. Hitting that sweet spot deep down inside of you. Throwing you over the edge screaming as you came. His name falling from your lips as your body jerked around him, and your core clamped down on his fingers. He worked you through it until you had come down completely before crawling his way back up your body. Kissing you gently as you came back to him from you high.

Finally when your brain cleared from you post orgasm fog you slid his white coat down his shoulders and his shrugged it off of his body. Throwing it somewhere on the floor. "Your way overdressed doctor." You tell him as you pull at the tight blue scrubs shirt he was wearing.

"You know sweetheart I think you're right. Gonna need more movement if I'm gonna test those hips of yours out. These are a little restricting."

With that he quickly shed his scrubs from his body before throwing them on the floor alone with his coat. Leaving him bare before you.

"No underwear doctor?" You ask as you watched his thick length slap against his stomach. A bead of precume already gathered at his swollen tip.

Jensen shook his head as he rid himself of his socks. "Like I said, restricting."

You couldn't help but laugh as he spread your legs with his thick thighs. Grabbing his fully erect cock and pumping it twice before he lined himself up with you. Sliding the tip through your folds. Gathering up your slick. Nudging his tip against your clit. Sending a first wave of arosule to your core.

"Gonna test out these hips of yours now. See how much impact they can handle." Jensen said in your ear as he slid himself inside of you in one swift motions. A deep groan leaving both of your lips as he stretched and filled you up in a way only he could. Giving you little time to adjust before slamming into you at a fast pace.

The sounds of moans, and flesh moving against flesh filled the room as he pounded into you over and over again. Each drag of his thick length across your womanhood driving you closer and closer to your end. Your walls are already starting to flutter around him as his tip hits that sweet spot deep inside of you over and over and over again. His pace picking up almost to a punishing brutal pace as he drove both of you to the edge.

"Fuck Jay I'm close." You said as the coil in your belly began to tighten, warmth pooling in your core, your walls quivering around him with each hard thrust. His own pace started to falter above you.

"Cum for me sweetheart. I need to feel you."

That was all it took. Your walls clamped down around him and he spilled deep inside you. Hit hot seed coating your walls.

When both of you finally had control of your breathing he pulled out of you slowly. Cleaning himself up in the bathroom before bringing a rag to you and cleaning you up.

"Well doctor what do you think? Healthy enough." You asked him with a smirk as he redressed in his scrubs and white overcoat.

"I don't know sweetheart, I might need you to come in for a follow up next week. There may be some more... Test... I need to run.." He said, Leaning down and kissing your lips deeply before heading for the bedroom door.

"Were are you going? No Post sex cuddles for your best paitent?" You pouted innocently.

"Five minutes pretty girl. I gotta get this costume back before they catch my ass with it." He said with a wink. Leaving you laughing hysterically on the bed as he exited the trailer and ran back towards the costume storage trailer.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List:

@deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @alanegaming

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swiftlymoniquesblog · 4 years ago

Text

Perfectly Confused Angel- Part 14

A/N: Welcome to Y/N and Castiel’s wedding! I’ve spent the last several days working on this chapter because I firmly believe these two deserve a beautiful celebration of their love! I LOVE this picture of Misha and I think this would be how Cas looks on his wedding day! Photos and music will be linked throughout the chapter for special effects so please use them and please send in feedback; I appreciate it!

Word Count: 5,000+

Warnings: SO MUCH FLUFF!! Mentions of pre and post wedding sex, mentions of a boner, slight mention of nervousness and anxiety

Previous chapter| Masterlist

Castiel’s POV

It had been several months since y/n and I began planning our wedding. For years, I saw how humans put on weddings. In most cases, they were big, with lots of people and they were beautiful, with elegance and class and very extraordinary, all the way down to the smallest detail. But when it came to me, I never thought about the celebration, let alone marry a human. Our prophecy states that an angel can fall in love with another angel but nothing about falling in love with a human. Maybe because it was unheard of, but what did that matter? I met someone, who had been there for me through everything, the good and the bad, and she loves me anyway, and I decided to marry her. Heaven takes that kind of thing very seriously; I take it very seriously. It just happens that my bride is a human, is that so bad? I didn’t think so and she didn’t think so and that is all the convincing we needed. I remember the first time I met y/n’s parents; I don’t think they liked me. Her father yelled at me for being an “older man messing around with my little girl” and then y/n explained that even though I looked older than she was, I would forever look like this and one day, she would look older than me. That blew their minds and I remember thinking how most humans lacked an imagination. And after a lot of talking, heated discussion, and crying, her parents finally came around to accepting the fact that their ‘little girl’ fell in love with an angel. It was very untraditional and that worried me, but y/n reminded me that our entire relationship was unconventional and that was why we loved each other. She was very against a traditional wedding; no church for the ceremony. No, she didn’t want a wedding anything as anyone had experienced before. And that’s what she got.

It was early in the morning, on April 23rd, I had ‘woken’ up, to see y/n was laying next to me still asleep. I watched her like I always did, but I was seeing her in a different light. She was going to be my wife in a few short hours and everything will be different. I am no longer just myself; I will fully be committed to someone else. That’s something a lot of people take advantage of these days but to me and y/n, it will be cherished for as long as we live. She begins to stir then, and I couldn’t turn away. I know how tradition goes, the bride and groom are not allowed to see each other before the ceremony but we already broke that rule by sleeping in the same bed as one another, so I figured, this was just another tradition y/n didn’t want to follow.

“Good morning, Honeybee. Happy wedding day,” I say as her eyes flutter open and she looks up at me, a smile making its way on her face.

“Happy wedding day,” she says. “You know we aren’t supposed to see each other before the ceremony, right? Well, I guess she does care?

“Well, yes, but I thought you didn’t want a traditional ceremony?” I ask.

“Not all traditions are silly. I happen to like this one for the fact that I can surprise you in my wedding dress and not looking like I just stumbled out of bed,” she says, as an insult on how she looks first thing in the morning.

“The surprise I understand but I think you look beautiful first thing in the morning,” I say, leaning over to kiss her shoulder.

“You’re just saying that because you’re about to marry me,” She says.

“No, I’m marrying you because I say things like that. And because I love you wholeheartedly and I want everyone to be apart of us becoming one,” I say, a blush forming on y/n’s cheeks.

“Then, let’s go get married!” Y/N says, quickly pecking my lips before jumping up to grab her phone. I remain lying in bed, watching as she started her ‘usual routine.’ The smile that begins to play, kicking her into full gear to prepare for the biggest day of both of our lives.

“It’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something fun to do, hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.”

“Of course, this would be the song you play on your wedding day,” I joke to her.

“Hey, I’ve waited ten years to be able to play this song and to be getting ready for my own big day. This is a BIG deal for me, okay?” She defends herself.

“I know it is but you do know it’s on our playlist for the reception, right?”

“It doesn’t matter, Cas! I’m going to playing this song on repeat, all day.” I smile at my fiancé as she dances around in her underwear while she brushes her teeth and washes her face. I couldn’t wait to wake up this way every day.

We both begin to get ready, not really caring about the other seeing the other, because we haven’t begun the wedding stuff yet. But I couldn’t help but think that we were missing something rather important.

“Hey, babe?” I call to her, to get her away from looking at her dress in its bag in our closet.

“Yeah?” She calls back but stays where she is.

“Don’t you think we should have some breakfast first?” I call to her and I hear her gasp before she comes out of the closet.

“How can we eat when we’ll be stuffing our faces at our dinner tonight? And our cake!”

“I know Honeybee, but that’s not for several more hours.”

“Well, what time is it now?” She asks.

“6:30,” I say looking at my phone before noticing the stunned look on y/n’s face.

“Damn, we got up early!” She exclaims and we both laugh.

“Would that be because you’re excited for today?” I tease her, knowing she most definitely was.

“No, not at all. It’s not like I’ve been waiting since the day we first met when you came down here from heaven, to watch over my best friends or anything. Nope, no excitement here,” Her sarcasm is very strong; she watches too much Friends. I laugh and go to kiss my soon-to-be-wife. Funny that I can’t stop saying that I’m going to be marrying y/n. But I’d like to enjoy a few more moments with her as my fiancé. We’ll never be engaged again so why not make it last just a bit longer?

I grab the phone from the nightstand on my side of the bed and dial the restaurant downstairs. I order a lot of food, making sure to order plenty of coffee considering we both will be up for a long time today. Of course, we order a lot of food, but we don’t care. We have a long day ahead of us before we’ll get to dinner. Y/N had come back to bed, crawling right back under the covers and snuggling up to me, a lazy smile forming on her lips.

“What are you doing, silly girl?” I ask her, looking down at her, pushing some hair that had fallen in her face.

“I just want to stay in bed with you, as your fiancé, for long as possible. I want to cherish the feeling of being your fiancé forever,” she says, looking at me with big doe-like eyes.

“That is an important thing, but I can’t wait to enjoy the feeling of having you as my wife,” I say as I snuggle in next to her, wrapping her in my arms and turning the tv on. As she flips through the channels, finding something to watch, a knock on the door pulls me away, and a disgruntled groan falls from y/n.

“My warmth!” She cries as I answer the door. A man in a tuxedo enters the room with a cart full of silver-topped dome lids. He takes each dome off one at a time and I can hear y/n running in to see what I ordered. Waffles with strawberries and whipped cream, eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns; all her favorites. And two pitchers of coffee with tons of cream and sugar, just the way she likes.

“See, this is why I’m marrying you, Cas. You always know how to feed me,” she says in all sincerity but I decided to poke fun at her.

“Oh great, so I’m only good for food. Okay then,”

“Okay you know that is not true at all. You’re also good for doing laundry,” she adds, going a bit too far with her jokes.

“That’s it, you’re going to get it,” I say to her before I tell the waiter that he can’t bring us anything else. As he’s leaving, I turn to y/n, pick her up over my shoulder, her squealing in the process, and tossing her on the bed. Just when she thinks that was all I was going to do as ‘her punishment,’ I ferociously begin tickling her.

“Cas!” Y/N screams as my fingers work their way all around her. I smile, loving seeing her so happy but also so helpless under my prodding fingers. She had no way of escape but I soon let her go after she apologized.

“Alright, so now that I’ve laughed so hard my sides hurt, can I please eat?” She asks, poking her bottom lip out like that of a child.

“Save the puppy dog looks to Sam. You got nothing on him. And yes, let’s eat,” I say, earning a ‘bitch face’ and no sharing from y/n. Guess I had that one coming. Two movies and a shit ton of missing food later, it comes time to get ready for the ceremony.

“Do we have to? Can’t we get married right here? I mean, it’ll be pretty tight but it could work. Any everyone can just stay in their pajamas,” she says, trying out that puppy dog look again and still failing.

“Unfortunately, Honeybee, we cannot have a wedding here. Believe me, I’ve already looked into it. Plus, you have that beautiful dress you’ve been dying to wear and you’ve been eyeballing it all morning. It’ll look better in the lighting from the venue I’m sure,” I make up some excuse for her to get ready.

“I’ll see you in a few hours okay? You’ll be just fine. Your Mom will be coming to get you and all your bridesmaids soon, too. You go have fun and I’ll be waiting for you,” I say, giving her one last kiss for the next several hours. Granted, it was only 10 am, but it was a good half-hour to our venue and then we still have to get dressed and people still have to start showing up. And there was some talk about a few ‘last-minute’ gifts from the mother of the bride and her bridal party.

“Okay, I’ll be the one in the white dress,” she jokes and grins, proud of her funny self.

“I sure hope so. And I’ll be one of the many guys in a tux,” I joke back and kiss her again. I grab my suit out of the closest in its bag and grab my phone and other necessities for the ceremony. Y/N had already turned up the music louder and was back to dancing and shaking her ass, knowing I was still in the room. Man, what I’m going to do to that ass later on. I shake the thought and head down to the lobby. When the doors opened, Sam, Dean, and Jack were sitting around in the lobby.

“Well, it’s about time you came down here!” Dean exclaims, throwing his phone down on the chair, before standing to hug me; Sam and Jack doing the same.

“Sorry guys, y/n and I got a bit…distracted,” I explain but it came out very wrong.

“Ah, pre-wedding sex. Nice work buddy,” Dean said, clapping a hand on my shoulder.

“Not that it is any business of yours, but that wasn’t what I meant. I ordered a nice, big breakfast for the two of us and we were watching movies.”

“So, no pre-wedding sex?” Dean asked, for final clarity.

“No Dean, no sex right now. Tonight, yes, but again, that isn’t any concern of yours so let’s not talk about it again, shall we?” I say, trying to hide the red tint on my cheeks. The thought of sex with y/n as husband and wife was very exciting for me. In fact, it started getting a bit too excited so I quickly had to shake the thoughts out of my head but that was a difficult task. The Impala was brought to us from a young man, who seemed rather impressed with the classic car we took all our adventures in.

“Thanks, kid,” Dean said as he was handed the keys and we all climbed in, driving off to the ceremony location. Following the non-traditional theme y/n wanted, our ceremony was going to be held in a place where too many weddings didn’t happen. For some reason, she decided to set up an arch, laced with red roses, on the coast of New York City, with the view of the Brooklyn Bridge behind us. The chairs were white and tied together by a ribbon with bouquets of red roses at the ends. The aisle was white lace, stretching over the grass beautifully, and separating the bride’s family from the grooms. But, considering my family was angels, I wasn’t expecting too many people on my side. There was a table set up off the side where guests could write little messages to me and y/n. That was one thing she was insistent on having; a jar of messages for when we have our first fight. I had laughed, knowing we don’t get in too many disagreements but she was stubborn and said that once we’re married, we won’t always see eye-to-eye. I shook my head as she set the jar up, and trusted her ideas.

“Wow Cas, this looks beautiful,” Sam commented, taking in the sight before him.

“As much as I would like to take credit for this, it was all y/n’s ideas. She was very hands-on with all the planning,” I say, thinking back to when we began planning.

“So, what did you do then?” Dean asked, poking fun at me.

“I approved or denied things,” I said honestly.

“And she didn’t kill you?” Dean asks, now chuckling.

I laugh a bit too; y/n could get pretty bossy. But she wasn’t when it came to wedding planning.

“No, she was actually very laid back and she valued my opinions, even used some of them, too. We agreed on everything that you see here, as well as the reception and where to go on our honeymoon,” I comment.

“Oh yeah, I’m going to want to hear about that!” Dean said, wiggling his eyebrows and getting an eye roll from Sam and me.

“Come on, Dean, let’s go see what we can help with. Cas needs to get ready,” Sam said, dragging his older brother away.

“Party pooper, Sammy!” He moaned but his mood changed as soon as he saw a pretty blonde.

I shake my head and begin to head inside the room we rented out in a small, no-longer operating, brewery when Jack caught up to me.

“Hey, Cas,” He says, falling in step with me.

“Yes, Jack?”

“I was wondering about this wedding thing, what’s it for?” He asked, mimicking my eye-squint and slight head tilt I would do whenever something confused me. He was pretty good.

“Well, it’s a ceremony that all angels believe in and God himself, wants for human beings. It’s a way for a couple to make their love known to all they come in contact with. That also signifies the rings. We place them on each other’s hands as a way to show others that we belong to someone else,” I explain what a wedding and marriage meant to me.

“You belong to someone?” Jack quips, adding more questions to his wondering.

“Oh, that’s just a saying. No one has or should have possession over another person, or angel in our case, but they are tied to the other, in spirit and physically. That’s what the honeymoon is. Making their love physical and finalizing their commitment to each other. It’s very beautiful, really. And both y/n and I take weddings and marriages seriously, while a lot of humans don’t anymore. One of the many reasons I’m marrying her.” I say, smiling at the fact.

“That sounds wonderful, Castiel! I hope to find someone like y/n and marry her; you’re very lucky,” Jack says, a look of hope on his young features.

“I am Jack, very lucky. I don’t deserve someone like her but you bet I am going to cherish being her husband for the rest of my days,” I finish my speech on why marriage is important as I get dressed in my suit. When I’ve fully dressed myself, I look in the long mirror that stood in the corner and fixed my tie. I began feeling more human than I ever had since I landed on earth, my heart racing as I thought of the events that were going to conspire in a few short hours. It didn’t take me too long to dress, but I knew y/n was nowhere near ready. From my understanding of human women, they take a long time to get ready for any kind of outing, but weddings, I’ve been told, take a longer time for preparation and most likely, y/n has cried a few times. Her “team” of bridesmaids have been helping her get ready, dress, shoes, hair, and makeup. I imagine her nails are done with a design special for the day, and her toenails probably match, too. She takes events very seriously, making sure her nails matched. I can just imagine how beautiful she will look when she walks down the aisle to me.

“Cas?” Dean asks, knocking on the door and entering the room. “Dude, you look sharp. Ready to start the rest of your life?” He asks, throwing his arm around my shoulders.

“You have no idea. Is she ready now?” I ask, knowing it was nearing 5 pm.

“Yup, she’s finally stopped crying, her makeup is perfect; she’s ready,” Dean says, a small smile forming on her lips.

“Have you seen her? H-how does she look?” I ask, running my hand down my arm as nerves began to rack my body.

“She looks absolutely beautiful, Cas. You’re one lucky son of a bitch, if I do say so myself,” Dean grins, clapping his hand on my shoulder.

I smile to myself and feel my nerves getting stronger as the minutes pass by. She looks beautiful like I knew she would, but I can’t imagine just how beautiful she looks today. I wasn’t nervous because I was marrying y/n, I was nervous because I wasn’t sure I would be a good husband. I knew nothing about it, being an angel and all doesn’t really teach you anything about it, but from what I’ve seen for centuries from other human relationships, I think I have a good understanding. I follow Dean outside to where the groomsmen would line up, as we all waited for the big moment. Guests were starting to file in and I noticed everyone stopped by our table to leave us messages. That itself made me nervous too; would we really fight that much? These thoughts are running through my head but then the moment had arrived; y/n was coming.

Music began to play and everyone stood up, turning to the back to watch as the bridesmaids and groomsmen walked up the aisle. Y/N had chosen a rather untraditional song to walk down to me but it kept with the theme. It an orchestra version of a song called Love Story by one of her favorite artists. She had played both versions of the song for me as were planning and I liked it too. I had said it was the perfect song for us to start our lives together. Just then, there was a long pause between bridesmaids and I knew it meant y/n was on her way out. When she reached the aisle, my heart dropped into my stomach. Dean didn’t do her justice when he told me how she looked; she was stunning. Her dress was breathtakingly beautiful. Covering her chest and down to her stomach, was nothing but silver rhinestones. Then from the bottom, the dress spread out in front of her and the rhinestones fell in perfect line with the rest of the dress. There was glitter spread throughout the dress and the train that followed her was just as detailed as the rest of the dress. Her y/h/c was wrapped on top of her head, tied together with a braid and a small tiara sat on her head with a veil softly covering her face. I could see her smiling wide, to all the people who had come to see her and I knew she was loving her moment. Her Dad had escorted her up to me and I had begun to cry when I saw just how stunning she looked. I couldn’t believe she was mine forever.

“Hi,” I said to her when she stood just opposite me.

“Hi,” she answered, chuckling through her own tears.

“You look incredible, y/n,” I say, taking both her hands in mine.

“And you look very handsome, Cas,” she said, tears slowly falling from her eyes. As if on instinct, I went to wipe the tears away but she stopped me because I wasn’t supposed to lift her veil until after the vows. I remember her telling me that so I knew why she stopped me, without her telling me why.

The preacher had begun the ceremony with a traditional introduction but that was all for the traditional aspects of the evening.

“Y/N and Castiel have written their own vows and chose to read them aloud today,” y/n was handed the microphone first and spoke her words from a few notecards she had written earlier. They were beautiful and I took note that not one person was left with dry eyes. Then, she handed the microphone to me; not needing any guidance with my vows.

“Y/N, when we first met, I didn’t know a lot about love or what it meant to love someone so deeply, but when I came here to look after the Winchesters, I wasn’t expecting to see you or to have really anything to do with anyone besides Sam and Dean but then, you had come in the room, and instantly took a liking to me. There were a lot of things I’ve had to learn and you were the only one who was patient with me, the only one who stayed by my side when I had gone to the hospital and ended up having to stay for two weeks. You know how to take care of me when I’m injured, you know how to make me laugh when I’m upset, you know how to comfort me when I’ve needed it. There isn’t any other person I even like being around more than you; my favorite little person. I promise to always be there for you when life gets to be too much for you and I promise to always find ways to show you just how much I love you. I can’t imagine any life without you and I know now, I will never have to. I love you so much, Honeybee, and I cannot wait to start the rest of our lives together,” I finish my speech and after a few closing remarks from the preacher, the words I’ve been waiting to hear where spoken.

“I now pronounce you, husband and wife. Castiel, you may kiss your bride,” the preacher said. I took the veil and folded it behind y/n’s head and brought her close to me by her waist, and capturing her lips with mine; the first of many as a married couple. Cheers and applause had erupted around us but all I could focus on was y/n. If there wasn’t a reception to go to, I would’ve stayed here and kissed her for the rest of eternity but I knew I had to let her go. We smiled at one another, then to everyone around us, before locking hands and walking back up the aisle with everyone blowing bubbles. There were also a few machines that had released bubbles into the air to add more than enough for a bubbly theme. A princess style carriage was waiting to take us to our reception; another touch added by y/n. We climb inside and say hello to our driver, waving to our friends and family as we took off. I scoot closer to y/n and whisper in her ear: “Now I do love this dress but I can’t wait to take it off you later on.” Her eyes had widened, not used to hearing me talk so low and almost “dirty” as some people would call it, but I really didn’t care what others said. Y/N’s reaction was perfect, especially when my teeth had gently grazed her earlobe. She looked in my eyes, seeing they had darkened a few shades of blue but I turned to look away quickly. I had to leave her with a bit of wonderment as we had arrived at the venue.

Inside, there were Disney inspired decorations for the wedding. There are still things that make y/n a child at heart and I hoped she would never lose that. She was adorable when she watched Disney movies and I knew she wanted a Disney theme for the reception. Everything from the centerpieces to the utensils to the food we served and the cake, Disney was evident in everything. Most of the songs we played were Disney theme or popular classic rock and pop songs y/n had grown up with. We danced the night away, ate plenty of food and cake, had our first slow dance, and y/n danced with her Father. We took plenty of photos and videos were taken for us to look at later. A table was set up for gifts and another one for more message’s guests could leave for us. This time, they were advice about having a marriage and children or recipes for us to use later on. The night had gone without a hitch and I was finally able to call y/n my wife. As the night came to a close, I drew more anxious for the big night that was waiting for us behind closed doors. I could barely wait to take that dress off y/n and to physically seal our marriage but it felt as though the ending dragged on. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, it was time for us to go back to our room.

“Ready to go?” I ask y/n, who’s eyes had turned a bit darker themselves.

“Absolutely, husband,” she said husband in a lower tone, only for me to hear.

“Then let’s go, wife,” I say and pick her up, arms under her legs as I carried her all the way up to our room.

Another tradition y/n insisted on, was for me to carry her over the threshold of our room. I held onto her until I set her on the ground. Candles were lined everywhere, roses petals littered the bed, and music was softly playing. This hotel was really going all out for y/n and I and I couldn’t wait to take advantage of all it had to offer.

“Hey babe, can you help me with this zipper?” Y/N asked, turning her back to me so I could undo her dress.

I bring my hand up to reach the zipper right in the middle of her back and pulled it down slowly to show the lace panties she bought specially for tonight. The dress fell off her in one quick motion and she took the rest of her undergarments off. Turning to face me, her eyes stayed right on mine, and she almost looked angelic, much like some of my family members. I was surprised as many of my sisters and brothers showed up at the wedding but all left immediately after the ceremony. Y/N had gone to lay on the bed, moving the blankets and sheets out of the way and I stood, just watching her move. It was different seeing her naked before me as my wife than when we first slept together as just a couple. I was going to see her in this light all the time and it made the night, that much better. I walked over to her, hovering over her, and kissed her, my hands already going to work on her, hands running over her body and down to the places she was needing me the most. I got her completely ready before I had unclothed myself and joined her in bed. This time, was so much better than any other time and I loved it. The way our bodies moved with each other, fully becoming one, I cherished the moment but was pleased that I could do this for the rest of our lives. I get to love her every single day, both physically and mentally, and emotionally too. We were finally the same, destined to one another until our final breaths. As we both came down from our highs, we laid next to one another catching our breaths, before I looked over at her.

“I love you, wife,” I say, grinning like a madman.

“I love you, husband,” she says back and kisses me once more. I could get used to these new titles.

Tag List: @fandom-princess-forevermore @tloveswriting @forever-trapped-in-my-dreams @juju-la-tortue @thinkinghardhardlythinking @angeredcrow @to-my-beloved-fandoms-2 @markofdean79 @lilulo-12 @grace15ella @simpleb00x

#castiel #castiel angel of the lord #cas fanfic #castiel fluff #cas #castiel x reader #castiel x you #castiel x y/n

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waywardnerd67 · 4 years ago

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Starving Affection

Summary: It had been five years since (Y/N) had any physical contact with another person. When she starts talking with a man online who reads her fanfics, a battle of her mind and body begins. When the time comes to meet him, she finds that there are still decent human beings in the world. Characters: Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Sami (OFC), Plus Size!Reader Pairing: Jensen x Plus Size!Reader Warnings: Angst/Fluff/Smut/Body Image Distortion Word Count: 9256 A/N: Again, me working through my feels. Thank you for allowing me to do so.

My chest tightened. Jaw clenched until my teeth hurt. My body rigid and frozen as panic flowed through my veins. The overly friendly, new teacher had her arms outstretched towards me. If I had been a normal person, I would gladly hold my arms out as well embracing her kindness and affection.

I was not normal.

“Hey Katy!” My partner teacher and best friend, Sami, headed her off by stepping in front of me and taking the hit of affection.

There was a special place in Heaven for Sami and if not, I would fight God themselves to make it so. I could see Sami whispering to Katy and a nod of acknowledgement told me I would not have to worry about her advancements again.

“Sorry (Y/N), I didn’t know you weren’t a hugger. How about a high five?” Her sweet gesture had my trembling hand stretching out to her as she quickly slapped it with her own.

Only Sami could see my flinch from the physical touch of someone. Everyone else summed it up to my quirky personality and weird aversion to being touched. Thankfully our English department meeting was over and I could escape to the safe haven of my car. Sami was close behind me waving goodbye to everyone.

I bumped my shoulder to hers as she was the only one I had no problem with minor touching, “Thank you for taking that hug for me.”

She laughed, “You’re lucky I’m a friendly and huggy person. Hey, I meant to ask you before school today, but how is counseling going?”

I cringed, averting my gaze from her, “It’s… going fine.”

She stopped me with a tap on my shoulder, “The truth, please.”

I sighed as my shoulders slumped in defeat, “I stopped going,” I saw the incoming assault in her narrowing sky colored eyes.

“(Y/N)! You were making such good progress with this counselor. I was even able to give you a one arm hug.” The disappointment in her voice weighed my shoulders down even more.

I leaned against my car pulling on the sleeves of my hoodie, “I know, I know. She had me go to one of her support groups and everyone had to hug someone. I… I just couldn’t. I tried three or four times going to the group and I failed every time.”

My eyes fell to the ground, disgust filling my mind, “Yes, you really are as pathetic as you’re sounding.” My inner voice snarked.

I heard Sami sigh, “It’s okay. We can work through it together. We can keep doing everything you liked from her and work at your pace.”

Looking up, I forced my lips into a small smile to appease my only real life friend, “That sounds good. Thanks Sami for putting up with me.”

I made my way home to a small ranch style home that was off the beaten path. My grandparents had left it to me knowing I would love the seclusion of it. It was my Fortress of Solitude. The only living thing, other than Sami, to be able to snuggle with me was Charlie the cat. The copper Main Coon was sitting by the door awaiting my arrival.

My evenings were always the same. Check in with my mom for an hour on the phone. Make or order dinner, which tonight was ordering pizza for the leftovers tomorrow. Turning on my favorite TV show, Supernatural, on Netflix and working on one of my millions of fanfics.

“Yes, stay in complete denial by hiding in your fantasy worlds and falling in love with fictional characters. Loser.”

I pushed my inner thoughts to the very back of my mind and focused on my current series I was writing. Pulling up Tumblr, I looked in my notifications seeing someone binge reading my masterlist. My heart always swelled with joy whenever someone took the time to read my writings. This person was also leaving feedback as well.

“ChevyMan67: I love this version of Dean! You truly have captured his personality and sarcasm.”

“ChevyMan67: I can’t get enough of this series! Please tell me there is more to come. I need to know if Dean finally falls in love and gets his apple pie life.”

I read through every comment and looked at every GIF the reader posted. I hit follow on his blog then took a few screenshots from my activity page, pulling up a blank post adding the pictures.

“Thank you to @ChevyMan67 for binging my stories! Your feedback means everything to me!”

As soon as I posted it there was a notification of a reblog from him. He posted a GIF of Dean screaming with #Fangirling flashing underneath. My cheeks ached from the unusual tension of a genuine smile spreading across my face.

Online I could be anyone I wanted. I would virtual hug and blow kisses at my friends. I was able to be more like the woman I was. Social, happy, carefree, open to others. I could be the woman I desperately wanted to be but my mind would not allow.

“Stay guarded. Remember what happened when you trusted him? Trusted his family? Never again. You promised never again.”

My indeed guard held the line at the gate of my mind. She stood in full armor and shield ready to throw off anyone that even attempted to break through to the part of me that desired to be a whole person again. I shook my head with a firm nod and reaffirmed my promise to myself to never let anyone that close to me again.

As I was closing down her computer for the evening, a ding caught my attention as a message came from Tumblr. Opening the window, I saw a DM from my newest follower.

“Hey there, I just wanted to say thank you for following me. Apparently I’m a rarity on here for being male and a fan of Supernatural. I truly love all your writings and can’t wait to read more. Hopefully, we can get to know each other better and become friends. Anyway, I’ll leave you alone. Message me any time. Goodnight.”

I re-read the message several times before closing my computer. Sure I had people message me for small talk and a few close friends I had on there. This felt different. Something deep within me sparked and I did not know how to react. There was only one person I knew I could go to and her reaction was more frightening than the thought of responding to ChevyMan67. That night was the first of many restless nights for me.

A week later, I finally sat down and responded to him.

“Hey, I’m sorry it took me so long to respond. I’m… well, I’m not used to talking to guys here. I think it’s great that you’re on here and reading, BTW. I’m working on a few pieces right now, maybe you could beta for me if you have time. I hope we can be friends as well. Have a good weekend!”

I was nearly hyperventilating when I hit enter sending the message. I tried to work on my newest one shot story and ignore my anxious heart awaiting for the ding. It was not until I was in bed watching my favorite episode of Supernatural that my phone chimed.

“Tumblr: Message from ChevyMan67”

My finger hovered for a moment before opening the app. The message opened and I let out a air I had been holding in my chest.

“No worries. Everyone is busy and has their “real life” to attend too. I work odd hours and days all the time so I get it. I would LOVE to beta for you!!!! Reading your work before it’s posted online? HELL YEAH! I feel honored you asked and I’m fanboying hard right now. Crap… that sounded… I mean. Sorry lol. You can send your fics to [email protected]. Looking forward to hearing from you again.”

Over the next six months, Ross and I talked throughout our days getting to know one another. Three month into Tumblr messenger and dumb updates, he gave me his cell number to text one another. At times, I would have to catch myself from laughing while my students took a test. Everyone around me started to notice the small changes in me. Smiling more, talking more and one student commented on me wearing bright colors.

“You look good in yellow Miss (Y/L/N).”

However it was Sami who demanded to know all about the changes going on with me. We sat at our favorite restaurant, the first round of drinks being set in front of us. After the waiter took our order, Sami began her interrogation.

“Tell. Me. Everything. You’ve been keeping me at bay and I’ve respected your space, but you have seemingly blossomed in the last few months. Spill.”

I bit my lower lip as my phone sounded with an all to familiar chime. I went to grab my phone when Sami placed her hand over it, “Me first. Tumblr second.”

“It’s not Tumblr. Let me reply to him and then I will tell you everything.” I dared to look up to see my best friend’s face frozen in shock.

Her eyes wide and mouth gaping, “Him?!”

I nodded reading Ross’s message, “Hey I know you’re out with Sami and going to tell her about little ole me. I just wanted to make sure you were still thinking about what I asked last night. Can’t wait to hear from you soon. Not now though, have fun with Sami.”

I smiled, locking my phone and putting it in my purse looking back to my ridiculously happy friend, “His name is Ross.”

There was a loud, attention grabbing squeal from her as I shushed her, “Leave out no details…” she rested her perfect chin on her folded hands.

I told her all about Ross and how we began talking. I told her everything I knew about him and what he knew about me. Finally, as our food came out and drinks were refilled, I told her about what he had dropped on me the previous night.

“He asked me to meet him at the Supernatural Convention in Dallas next month. He already has the passes paid for and a few photo ops that we could share.” My heart raced at the thought of meeting Ross and meeting my favorite celebrities all at the same time.

Sami’s smile faded slightly, “Does he know about your struggles with being touched?”

I nodded, “It was one of the first personal things I told him. He’s still talking to me so I took that as a frightening good sign.”

“What are you feeling?” her point blank question shook me for a moment.

My fingers drummed against the table, “I’m nervous, scared, anxious…” I paused for a moment before looking up at her with a smile.

“I’m also excited, hopeful and curious.”

Sami held out her hands to me, palms up and I hesitantly placed my hands in hers. It was something we had been working on for the last couple of months. This was the first time I allowed her to squeeze my hands.

“You really like him.” She whispered smiling like a fool.

I felt my own smile mirroring hers, “Yes I do and that scares me shitless.”

The rest of the evening felt like the old days before my life fell apart. When I got home, I decided to test my luck. Pulling up Ross’s number, my thumb hovered over it until I smashed it hearing it ringing.

“Well hello, this is a surprise.” His velvety smooth voice sent shivers down my body, “Take a deep breath and know it’s okay if you hang up to just text me.”

“N-No, I’ll be okay.” I stammered as he let out a low chuckle.

I could hear him moving away from other voices around him, “I interrupted something…” Guilt and shame weighing my shoulders down.

“Not at all. They can wait, you calling me is an important moment. Not everyday, I get to speak to my favorite writer on the phone.” His compliments calmed my queasy stomach, “Could I be so hopeful that this phone call is working up to a good answer?”

I took a deep breath in and let out slowly, “Yes.” The word seems foregin to her as it left my lips.

“Yes I can be hopeful or yes to my question?” His jovial banter eased the tension in my shoulders.

“Yes.” I tried to sound a little more confident, my heart beating against my chest.

There was a moment of silence before loud cheering and yelling came through her speaker. His excitement was silenced by my own unfamiliar laughter. Suddenly I was hyper aware that he was no longer making any noises. Panic and fear swelling inside me.

A soft sigh came from him, “You have a beautiful laugh. I can’t wait to hear it again.”

My cheeks burned, “Thank you.”

Ross told me he would send all the details for our trip and that I was not to worry about money of any kind. Mentally, I began planning out how to save as much money as I could in the next four weeks. Thankfully, my savings was built up enough to take a small hit and not dip into her emergency fund. Over the next several weeks, I began to prepare for my first convention, first time meeting an online friend, first time traveling by myself, first time facing the unknown in five years.

The morning of my travel day, I went over to Sami’s house with Charlie. I was surprised to see her sister sitting there. She waved to me before taking Charlie’s crate.

“What’s going on?” I looked around seeing Sami’s suitcase packed by the door.

She smiled, “Your friend Ross, reached out to me.”

The color from my face drained for a moment, “H-He did… How?”

“He found me on your Instagram page. DM me asking me to join you on your trip. Stating and I quote, ‘I know you being there with (Y/N) will make her more comfortable. I want this weekend to go as comfortably as possible for her. I know it’s a big step and I want her to be taken care of.’”

She smiled softly as my vision blurred from tears slipping down my face, “Oh… wow.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty amazing (Y/N/N). If you were ever going to work on overcoming your touch aversion this would be the man to do it for.” Sami turned around to help her sister, leaving me to my own thoughts.

“Absolutely not! There is no way he is getting through my defenses. I have held strong for five years. Your heart and mind are safe within my holds.”

“Do you really think he’s going to want to touch you? Look at yourself. Lumpy. Chunky. Squishy. Dull (Y/C/H) hair. Boring (Y/C/E) eyes. Not even a decent pair of boobs or ass. You’re nothing special. Always remember that you’re nothing special.”

“(Y/N)? (Y/N) stop it.” Sami’s voice rang clear bringing me back to the present.

I nodded slowly, “Sorry. I zoned out.”

“Freaked out. We will work through it. Sara is gonna drive us to the airport and we have an hour to chat. Okay?”

It was in the moment that I noticed my best friend had absentmindedly placed her hand on my shoulder and I did not flinch. My eyes looked to her hand and back to her, “You’re touching my shoulder.”

“Crap, I’m so sor…” she started to say but my bright smile stopped her, “What?”

I placed my hand on top of hers, “I didn’t flinch or move or even notice you did it.”

Now her smile was matching mine and we had a moment of pure excitement jumping around each other. True to her word, we spent the hour on the plane doing some meditative exercises. I thanked every high power who would listen for my best friend getting her psychology degree.

There was a man waiting with our names on a piece of paper. He took our bags and drove us to a hotel near where the convention was being held. Sami checked us in since there were so many people inside and my anxiety started to flare up.

Breathe in counting to six. Breathe out counting to six.

I repeated my breathing exercise until Sami returned her brow furrowed, “What is it?”

“I don’t know who Ross knows, but he must be connected in some way. We have a suite on the fourteenth floor.”

My jaw dropped slightly before I stood up bracing myself for the next hurdle of getting through the elevator ride. Luckily, there were only two other girls in the car and I could safely keep my distance from them.

“I heard that Jensen is staying at this hotel.” One mentioned as the other rolled her eyes.

“Yeah right. This is Dallas, I’m sure he’s probably staying with his family or something.”

The girls exit on the eighth floor and before the doors could close Sami and I were chuckling to ourselves. The chances of Jensen Ackles staying at this hotel would be astronomical. The car dinged for the top floor and opened to a small hallway. When we opened the door to our suite neither of us spoke.

Sami walked throughout the entire room before I could even move from the entryway, “This room is amazing! Check out the view we have (Y/N).”

“Hold on. Having a moment.” I breathed as Sami came to my side and I held my hand out, “I’m fine. Just need a moment to make sure this is real and not a dream.”

I watched as she walked over to the coffee table where there was a gift basket and she held up a small notecard, “Oh it’s real.”

“(Y/N) and Sami, I hope you love your room. Enjoy your night and order anything you want. The front desk knows it’s all on my tab. I’m hoping you both will join me for dinner tomorrow night after registration. Sadly, my job won’t let me leave before then. I look forward to meeting you both. -R PS: I highly recommend the spa and they have a large private jacuzzi just for you, (Y/N).”

Sami sighed, “I really hope he has a single brother, cousin, friend that is like him for me.”

I rolled my eyes walking over to the large windows looking out. Flashes of the last time I was in Dallas popping into my mind. I shivered as the one voice I hated yelled loudly in my ears. My hands covered them and I felt Sami tap my shoulder twice. For the first time, in several years, I reached out to her and gripped her arms.

“(Y/N) remember why we’re here. Remember talking with Ross on the phone. The tone of Ross’s voice. His laughter.” Her calm tone eased me out of the wretched memory.

She guided me over to the couch and went to get me a glass of water. I sipped it slowly before squeezing her hand, “Thank you.”

“You know, I can get used to you reaching out to me. Feels like the (Y/N) I knew coming back.” Sami squeezed my hand back before I let slip from her grasp.

She was right, the woman I once was before my ex was fighting her way to get out again. Still, my guard was up standing fortified at the gate.

That evening was a girls’ night of epic proportions. They went to the spa where (Y/N) sat in her private jacuzzi while Sami received the best massage of her life. Afterwards, we ordered our dinner from room service making moderate choices since neither of us were paying. When our food came there was a special dessert also with another note.

“A little birdy told me that your favorite dessert was French Silk pie. I wanted you to have a slice and some New York Style cheesecake for Sami. Have a wonderful night.”

Sami whistled, “Man, he has it bad for you.”

“Shut up.” I muttered lifting the dome to see a delicious slice of pie.

As they ate and talked, Sami took my phone taking pictures of them enjoying a very Sam and Dean style dinner. Sami having a Chef’s salad with honey mustard dressing. I took a picture of my dinner sending it to Ross with a text saying thank you.

“Dean would be proud! That bacon cheeseburger looks good. Enjoy!”

I smiled the entire time I ate my burger. Finishing out meals, Sami hooked up her laptop putting on Supernatural. I decided to try and work on some stories when a terrifying thought crossed my mind. I looked up to the screen as Dean began to talk. I closed my eyes listening carefully to his voice. The low tone and smoothness of it. It was the way he said the word writer that had my eyes snapping open and a gasp escaping my lips.

“What? What is it?” Sami sat up concerning filling her eyes.

Like pieces to a puzzle everything snapped into place. All the small details that would go unnoticed by someone who would never expect it. Sami tapped my shoulder and I turned to her with wide eyes.

“Ross… that’s Jensen’s middle name.” I mumbled reaching for my phone.

Sami stood up pausing the episode, “Okay… what are you getting at.”

“Listen.” I played for her the voicemail he had left a few days earlier, “Now play the episode.”

Sami’s eyes connected to her, “No way.”

“Ross is Jensen Ackles.”

That night my dreams were filled with my ex yelling at me. Fat shaming me. Calling me a loser. Calling me useless for not being able to bear children. His looming form made me coward into a ball on the floor. I woke up several times during the night, the final time close to six in the morning. Sami was peacefully sleeping on her side of the bed.

I picked up my phone going into the living area and dialing the all too familiar number. On the third ring she was going to hang up, but then his groggy voice pierced my ears.

“(Y/N), is everything alright?” All I could hear was Dean, which meant that it was truly Jensen on the other side.

“You tell me, Jensen.” I heard him sit up as I began to pace near the window.

A long sigh came from him, “I knew you would figure it out before meeting me.”

I scoffed, “Is this some kind of celebrity joke or prank? Pretend to be someone’s friend and embarrass them when they meet you.”

My guard was shaking her head muttering, “Told you so…”

“No, (Y/N) it’s nothing like that. Misha had read some of your stories and suggested I should read them. At first, I thought it would be weird because I’ve never read fanfiction before, but your writing… it drew me in.” His words came out all in one breath.

I froze, “M-Misha read my stories? Oh god…” My body burned from embarrassment.

“Honestly, there’s not a person on our crew that hasn’t read at least one of your stories. You’re talented and the way you write for the boys is amazing. Our own writer’s are impressed with your talent.”

I groaned slumping down to the floor, “This was all a mistake.” The last thing I heard before ending the call was rustling around as if Jensen was moving from his bed.

My phone slipped from my hand as tears streamed down my face. I closed my eyes allowing my inner voices to consume me. Dragging me down into the darkness.

“You fool! Here I stood guarding you from this and still you allowed someone in. You deserve what is coming to you!”

“You useless piece of nothing! You’re the biggest joke this world ever created. Fat, ugly, even your body can’t do the one basic thing god made it to do. You’re worthless. Sucking up air that could be used on someone contributing to the world. No matter what anyone says you will always be the biggest failure in this world. You. Are. Nothing.”

I felt someone tapping on my shoulder and I tightened myself into a ball, “Go away Sami.”

The tapping continued and I reached out grasping an unfamiliar hand. My eyes snapped open and were met with concerning, piercing olive eyes. The eyes I stared at for hours on my TV. The eyes I wrote about in hundreds of thousands of words online.

As soon as my eyes opened he withdrew his hand and my heart sank further into darkness, “I told you. He will never want to touch your disgusting body.” The snide voice of my inner self whispered.

“(Y/N), please hear me out. Please for five minutes just listen to my side.” He sat across from me leaving a foot of distance between us.

I nodded looking up as Sami gently touched his shoulder, “I will be just outside if you need me.”

He waited for the door to close to start talking. His large hands rubbing against his cotton covered thighs.

“I started reading your masterlist on Tumblr and couldn’t get enough of your stories. I didn’t know exactly how to work Tumblr so Misha showed me how. I noticed you don’t get a lot of notes and I wanted everyone to notice you. I started sharing your work with everyone after sending you that message.”

He paused for a moment as I fidget with the hem of my shirt, “Why did you message me?”

His smile was more radiant in person, “It’s just as I said. I loved your work and I wanted to be friends. However, the more I got to know you… the more I wanted to meet you in person. I knew that would be problematic.”

“Yeah, you could say that.” I scoffed looking down to my hands.

He inhaled a deep breath, “You connect with Dean Winchester the same way I do. To find someone like that is a once in a lifetime chance. I want someone who I can gush over Dean with because soon I won’t be hanging out with him as much and he’s the best imaginary friend I’ve ever had.”

Seeing Jensen open himself up to me was creating a battle of mind and body within me. He was just as nervous as I was to open up to someone else. Suddenly, I did not feel so alone in my isolation. My hand trembled as I reached over placing it atop of his.

“Dean Winchester saved my life and I don’t mean that figuratively. I was on the verge of leaping into darkness when I found him getting Sammy to find their dad. I found the strength to carry on because I knew that was what Dean would do. I found that being broken wasn’t a bad thing but something that could drive you to keep working. Dean helped me to feel again when I had become numb to the world around me.”

His eyes shined as I spoke trying to hold back his own tears, “I’m glad he could be there for you when you needed him the most.”

“Then you came into my life when I least expected it.” I whispered as I squeezed his hand.

My mind was screaming at me to get as far away from him as I possibly could. To call out to Sami to make him leave and move out of the state disappearing from the world. However, my body was urging me to jump into his arms. To open myself up to him as he had done with me. I felt like a spring coil ready to snap. My mind was holding my body back waiting for my consciousness to make a decision.

And she did.

I launched myself into his arms startling him as we crashed to the floor. His arms instinctively wrapped around me as mine encircled his neck. The door flew open as Sami came rushing in as Jensen’s laughter filled the room. I hugged him tighter to me as he tightened his grip around me.

“Oh my god… (Y/N), you’re hugging him.”

I did not need to open my eyes to know tears were slipping down my best friend’s cheeks. Her voice was thick with utter joy and amazement.

“Does this hug mean that you don’t hate me?” His question caught me off guard.

Jensen’s hands kept me in place as he sat up swinging my legs across his. My arms are still around his neck not wanting to lose the connection. Now that my body was against his, it flooded with the strange feeling of desire. Sami joined them on the floor sitting cross legged in front of them.

“I don’t think I could ever hate you. Though I’m still upset you lied to me.” I rested my head on my arm and against the side of his neck.

Feeling him sigh and seeing Sami grinning, I knew this was a big moment for all of us. We sat on the floor for another hour talking before Jensen had to go back to his room to get ready for the day. Neither of us wanted to let go of the other. He hugged me one last time before walking out of the suite. When I turned around I was immediately engulfed into another hug.

“I’m so proud of you!” Sami squealed.

“Thanks, I think…” My sentence drifted and she pulled away from me.

I walked back toward the bed and flopped face first onto it. I felt her crawl up on the bed beside me knowing me well enough to give me space.

“Talk it out, (Y/N). What are you feeling?”

My cheeks burned from the first feeling to pop into my head, “I feel warm, anxious, happy...” I paused gathering the courage to say the last word, “desire.”

“I’m sorry, what was that last one?” Sami eagerly asked.

I sat up, “Desire.” Saying the very word felt weird.

She began to clap and raised her hands in the air, “Praise the lord!”

“Don’t get all weird about it. I don’t know what any of this means. My body is tingling…”

Sami interrupted, “I bet it does…”

“Shut up, mostly not in that way. I don’t know how to act around other people anymore. What is too much touching? What is too little? What does a hug mean? I have too many questions and all the answers just walked out the door.”

I looked over as my phone chimed seeing a message from Ross, “I guess I need to change that now.” I murmured as I pulled up his message.

“First, thank you for trusting me with a hug. It means the world to me. I wanted to know if you wanted to have an early lunch with me? We could eat in my room or restaurant or your room with Sami. Whatever you are most comfortable with. Let me know.”

I held my phone up for Sami to read and she jumped off the bed, “You can have our room. I will go entertain myself by the pool.”

I texted him back that he could come to my room as Sami began tossing clothes out on the bed, “What are you doing?”

“Finding you the perfect outfit. Now go shower so I can play dress up with you.” She clapped her hands excitedly as I groaned loudly.

Looking in the mirror again, I pulled at the shirt clingy to every soft, round surface of my waist. I pushed my stomach watching as it bounced back into place like jello. Turning to the side, I sucked as many rolls as I could inward, holding my breath. The air rushed from my lips as a knock came from the door. Making my way towards it, I grabbed my zip-up hoodie slipping my arms in it quickly.

“Hi.” The word came out more breathlessly than I wanted.

My inner voice whispering, “Yeah fatty, let him know that walking across the room makes you lose your breath.”

“Hey there, I hope you don’t mind that I went ahead and grabbed lunch for us.” Jensen held up a paper bag from a local sandwich spot.

As he walked in, I took a moment to truly admire him. He looked like a male model in his tight dark jeans, black boots, dark olive Henley and sunglasses resting on top of his unruly, sandy brown hair. His smooth voice caught my attention.

“You could take a picture and it would last longer.” He chuckled sitting down on the couch and laying out their lunch.

I sat on the opposite side of him as far away as I could. Even though my body desperately wanted to be closer to him, I kept my distance not pushing my mental capacity. He glanced over a hint of disappointment in his eyes seeing me so far away.

Jensen slid a sandwich towards me, “I remember you telling me that you love ham and swiss with tomato.”

“Thank you.” I unwrapped the sandwich and grabbed a bag of chips.

We ate in silence as a strange tension built between us. My stomach churning to the point I could no longer eat. I would look over to him out of the corner of my eye to find his eyes drifting over me. I wrapped my hoodie around me instinctively trying to hide the imperfections.

“There’s no hoodie big enough to hide your ugliness.” The familiar voice whispered.

I shook my head when I heard music playing, looking back to Jensen. He smiled sheepishly as he set his phone on the table.

“I thought maybe some background noise would help,” He stood up clearing the food from the table then stood in front of me with his hand out, “Trust me?”

His eyes were shining from the afternoon rays of sun coming from the window and his lips were spread in a gentle smile. I exhaled slowly allowing all the tension to leave my body and placed my hand in his. He pulled me up from the couch taking my hands and placing them behind his neck. His large hands slid down my sides to my hips and I flinched.

“You do know that you’re beautiful, right?” He whispered swaying my body with the music.

I shook my head, “I’m really not. Ordinary at best.”

Jensen lifted my chin, piercing (Y/C/E) meeting , “You are far from ordinary, (Y/N).”

“You’re just being kind.” I looked away as he slowly turned us in a circle.

The music continued but Jensen stopped moving, “I have so many questions but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or have you running to the hills.”

“Questions for me? Surely, you have better things to do with your time other than sitting inside with me. Don’t you have fans to entertain?” I smirked.

He chuckled, “Lucky for you, I happen to have the day off. I normally spend the day with my family. However this year they all ditched me.”

I mockingly acted shocked, “Oh no! You poor thing.”

His eyes narrowed in on me before laughing, “My mom and dad are somewhere in Spain enjoying their anniversary gift. My sister decided a girls trip with her best friends was better than hanging with me for the day. My brother is always busy with his family. You’re stuck with me.”

“I guess there’s worse ways to spend my day. Okay, ask away but I’m not promising I’ll answer them all.”

Jensen led me back to the couch, but kept ahold of my hand as we sat back down. He laced his long fingers with mine. His thumb brushing over my knuckle. I settled back against the couch once again wrapping my hoodie around me.

“What were you thinking when I put my hands on your hips earlier?”

I bit my lower lip, “I was mortified that you were touching my squish rolls of skin. I was thinking you must be disgusted by it.”

“Wow…” He squeezed my hand, “Whoever he was he really did a number on you. If I ask his name and address would you be against me and Jared beating the crap out of him?”

A genuine burst of laughter echoed in the room, “He’s really not worth it. Plus, he is much happier with his life now and that’s all that matters. He deserves to be happy.”

I was surprised to see Jensen face scrunched up in anger, “But you don’t?” He leaned in slightly, his features softening.

“No, I don’t.” The words came out without even a second thought and seeing Jensen recoil from them as if they had slapped him in the face twisted my heart.

His tongue darted out over his lips and the electrical energy between us sparked wildly, “You’re wrong. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Any man who told you otherwise is no man at all.”

He was leaning in closer, his eyes never leaving mine. My heart pounding in my ears and my body urging me to meet him in the middle. His forehead pressed against mine and his nose caressed mine.

“I’m going to kiss you.” he whispered.

“I don’t think I remember how to kiss back.” The pathetic confession was followed by a wayward tear slipping down my cheek.

His soft, full lips pressed gently against mine. My mind searched for the file within the long abandoned cabinets for how to kiss someone. He pulled away for a split second only to return his lips to mine. I found my lips pushing against his out of basic instinct. Our lips melded together for a moment before I felt him smile against mine.

His hands cupping my face, “I think it will all come back to you easier than you may think.”

I took in a deep breath letting it out in a short burst, “I think you believe in me too much for only meeting me a few hours ago.”

Jensen was still holding my face as he leaned back, “Other than Jared and Mish, I have never felt closer to anyone, but you.”

“You have your work cut out for you then,” I pointed to my head, “because it’s a nightmarish mess up in here.”

He leaned in kissing me once again, “You are worth every second of being with you because you’re stunning, smart, talented, caring and most of all you’re beautiful inside and out.”

I stared up at him speechless as my inner guard laid down her shield, “I like this one.”

“No… no one has ever said that about me. I-I don’t know what to say or how to react.” I stammered, unable to comprehend what he said.

He smiled widely, “Get used to that feeling because I’m preparing for you to feel that way a lot. Now, I don’t want to test your boundaries too much so I think we should hang out here and watch a movie.”

Jensen moved to the end of the couch resting his arm along the back of it and propping his feet on the table. For the first time in forever, there were no inner voices to keep me from doing what I desperately wanted. I moved over next to him resting my back into his side and stretching my legs out to the other end of the couch. His arm draped over the front of my chest and his fingertips brushed against my side.

This time there was no flinching and I smiled at the small victory.

The rest of the weekend was like a dream. Seeing the convention backstage, meeting all the rest of the other actors on the show and most of all Jensen’s constant touch comforted me throughout it all. Sami beaming with pride as I pushed myself to be in the crowd for the concert on Saturday. When Sunday came, I found myself riddled with sadness knowing I would have to leave this magical weekend behind.

Sami had decided to go back to the hotel while I waited for Jensen to finish his autographs. I had noticed Clif, the boys’ friend and bodyguard, staying close by me. When the last fan left the autograph room, he motioned for me to follow him. Entering the room, I found Jensen with his head down on his table while Jared and Misha were fooling around at theirs.

Walking up, I slid my hands over his shoulders and began rubbing the knots out of them. A small groan escaping his lips sent a wave of desire over my body. I moved my hands down his back eagerly wanting to hear him again.

“Hey, if you’re giving free massages away I’ll take one!” Jared called out.

Jensen’s head snapped up, “Don’t even think about it Padalecki. Her hands are too precious for your sweaty self.”

I chuckled as he stood up letting my hands drift down his back. I knew he was fit but his body was firm and lean in all the right spots. As he moved away I found my fingers stretching out to touch him again. All weekend I had found myself craving his touch. My mind was obsessively thinking about his hand in mine or my arms around his waist or his hands gripping my hips. My cheeks felt like they were on fire and I heard him chuckle.

“You okay? You kind of spaced out for a moment.”

I nodded smiling, “I’m great. Just thinking was all.”

“Well come on, you and I can grab something to eat then hang out in my room.” His arm slipped around my shoulders and instantly I relaxed into his embrace.

Dinner was unexpectedly crashed by Jared and Misha tagging along. We found a twenty-four hours diner near the hotel that was nearly empty and we all spent a few hours talking, laughing. I could not help the sadness creeping over me as the minutes passed by. Minutes I was losing to have Jensen to myself. As if he read my mind he excused us to head back to the hotel.

We walked in silence, hand in hand. Stepping into the elevator, he pulled me into his side and I wrapped my arms around his waist. His room was on the opposite end of the same hall as mine. Stepping inside, the door clicking shut as we stood across from one another. It was like a shotgun going off as Jensen closed the distance between us. His hands sliding down my body as his mouth crashed to mine.

As suddenly as it happened, it was over.

“I’m sorry… shit. (Y/N) I’m really sorry.” His pleads confused me for a moment.

Breathing heavily as he stepped back further from me I blurted out, “W-Why are you apologizing? D-Did I do something wrong?”

His dark forest eyes snapped up, “You do something… you didn’t do anything but be you, (Y/N). I just couldn’t stop myself. This weekend has been the best one in my life. Being around you, holding your hand, kissing you has rejuvenated me. I just want more of you, all of you. Simple looks you give, the way you hold yourself and the moment you open yourself up to reach out to me. I just found myself unable to hold back anymore. I know…”

This time it was me who closed the distance between us. My lips crashing into his. My hands running up his broad chest and into his soft hair. The soft moan escaping my lips as we parted.

“I want you to have me…” I whispered in between breaths, “I’m nervous with a bunch of what ifs running in my head.”

“Do you trust me?” The corner of his lip curling upward.

“Yes.”

Jensen took my hand leading me into the bedroom of his suite. He gently picked me up and sat me on the bed. He knelt in front of me, slipping my shoes from my feet then pulling my socks off. His thumbs pressing into the bottom of my feet as I began to giggle.

“Oh… now that is an amazing sound. I must hear that again.” He smirked, tickling my feet.

I fell back in a fit of giggles as Jensen’s laughter joined mine. I leaned up on my elbows looking down at Jensen resting his chin on my knee. He lifted his brows asking permission and I nodded. His hands drifted over my calves, up to my knees and over my thighs.

“You have incredible legs. I found myself staring at them as you would walk in front of me with Sami. Wondering how they would feel beneath my hands.” He gently squeezed them near my hips.

His knee pressed into the mattress between my legs as his firm body hovered over mine. My fingers brushed against the hem of his shirt pushing it up and hesitantly touching his stomach. Jensen sucked in a quick breath as his hands paused on his hips. I focused on the feeling of his smooth, warm skin beneath my fingertips. His flat stomach is surprisingly soft.

I grasped the end of his shirt pulling it towards his head as he pulled back allowing it over his head. Taking it from my hands, he tossed it on the floor. I took in every inch of his skin from his muscles flexing to the freckles decorating it.

“You beautiful, you know that?” I did not think he heard me until I saw the smug smirk on his face.

He leaned down kissing me, “Stealing my lines, sweetheart.”

His hands went back to my hips as his lips left a trail of kisses down my neck, “You think that your softness is revolting, but I find it inviting.”

I froze as his hand pushed up into my shirt touching my stomach. I squirmed as he pushed my shirt up just under my bra. My hands threading through his hair as his lips pressed small kisses against my stomach.

“Jensen…” The tension in my tone caught his attention.

His eyes filled with worry, “Too much?”

I took a few deep breaths and shook my head, “I’m fine, promise.”

“See there you go, being brave and pushing yourself. You have no idea how sexy that is.” He murmured against my skin.

As Jensen’s mouth neared the waistband of my jeans, I tugged his hair motioning for him to come back up to her. He smiled randomly kissing spots along my body. His lips finally met mine as I slid my arms around him. His tongue swiped across my bottom lip as they parted for him. His gentleness and care to make me comfortable broke down the last existing wall of defense.

Their kiss deepened. My body burned with a need to feel Jensen’s skin against mine and to be close to him in every way physically possible. Foreign pressure began to simmer deep within me and I lifted my hips pressing them against his thigh.

He pulled away his eyes blown with passion searching mine for an answer to a silent question.

“Please… take away everything he did. I want to feel whole again.” I pleaded just above a whisper.

His lips were on mine again as he gently lifted me up further onto his bed. Sitting up, I pulled my shirt over my head holding it in front of me for a brief moment. His eyes watching my every move as I tossed it over the side. He reached behind me with one hand unclasping my bra in one swift movement.

I kissed his collarbone as he leaned in to do so, “Show off.”

He chuckled before leaning back and allowing me at my pace to unveiling my bare chest to him. I slid the straps down my arms holding it in place before playfully tossing it at him chuckling. Joking had always been my way of dealing with uncomfortable moments. When I looked up his eyes were drifting down my bare upper body.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He smirked as I rolled my eyes at him, “Seriously, (Y/N)... you’re absolutely stunning.”

He ran his hand down my chest, between my breasts and down to my jeans. He undid the button and slowly drew down the zipper. Hooking his fingers with a belt loops dragging my jeans down my legs. I shivered as the cool air hit my skin. Jensen tossed them off to the side then began to place gentle, open mouth kisses up my leg.

My breaths were coming out in small little puffs the further up my leg he got. His mouth hovered over her cotton cover mound inching closer to it. My teeth dug into my lip desperately wanting him to press them against me. Instead he kept his path up my body stopping at my breasts. He cupped the side of one running his thumb over my nipple.

A long sigh escaping my lips from just the slightest touch from him, “O-Oh… Jensen…” His mouth had gently suckled my other nipple, the pressure turning to an ache between my legs.

“You have no idea hearing my name from your lips does to me.” He softly said before circling my nipple with his tongue.

Feeling bold, I slid my hand down between us running it along the hard bulge being restrained by denim. Jensen sucked in a sharp breath dropping his head between my breasts, “Shit…”

“I believe I have some kind of an idea.” I smiled as he grinded himself against my palm.

He stood up at the edge of the bed, his intense stare making me tremble with anticipation. Leaning forward, his fingers hooked the sides of her cotton panties and pulled them down until they were on the floor.

“Exquisite, flawless, perfect.”

“As are you.” I sat up until I was sitting on the edge in front of him.

My hands trembled as I unbuttoned his jeans and carefully unzipped them. Jensen let out a soft hiss as I brushed against his length. His hands cupped my face pulling my lips to his urgently kissing me. I pushed his jeans and boxers down as far as I could before he pushed me back onto the mattress. His hand drifting down my body until his fingers pressed against my folds.

“Jensen, please…” I begged needing to feel any kind of relief from the pressure pulsating from between my legs, “Ohhh… god.”

Jensen began to rub lazy circles against my clit. My hips grinding against his hand as his lips pressed just below my ear, “Are you okay?”

His question sober me from the drunken stupor of desire and I placed my hand over his pushing down further, “More than okay.”

Jensen pushed one long finger deep inside me with a hiss, “Fuck pretty girl, your so tight.” He slowly pushed a second finger inside.

My head pressed against the mattress, my back arching as he pumped his thick fingers in me, “More, oh please Jensen, I need more.”

His pace picked up and I looked up to his face. His eyes wide and dark watching me come undone as his thumb rubbed harshly against my throbbing clit, “Jensen!” I cried out overwhelming pleasure wrecked through my body.

Breathing heavily, my body shaking slightly as he pulled his fingers from me, “Now that was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

A slow grin spread across my face as I pulled his mouth to mine. He positioned himself between my legs pulling away slightly, his lips grazing against mine.

“Are you sure? We can stop if you want.” Jensen’s tone was tense as I felt his length resting against my folds.

I kissed him, “I need you. All of you.”

He braced himself up with one arm as his hand slipped between us. Jensen ran the swollen head along my slickness before nudging it against my entrance. The room filled with groans and heavy breaths as Jensen slowly sheathed himself within me. There was a singe of pain as I stretched taking him his thick length but quickly was replaced with immense pleasure as he thrusted gently into me.

“So. Tight.” He panted against my cheek.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him digging my heels into him. Each stroke pushing me further to the edge. Feeling every muscle straining along his back and arms. His head buried in the crook of my neck grunting almost painfully. I knew then he was holding back.

I pressed my lips to his ear, “Jensen, I won’t break. You’re making me feel incredible, but I want you to let go. Show me how I make you feel.”

A low growl rumbled from his chest as he nipped at my neck and his hips snapped against me. The echoes of our skin meeting, loving praises and the headboard against the wall filled the room. I started to meet each thrust of his, the coil within me ready to snap. His hands were gripping my shoulders holding me against his burning body. I clung to him scraping my nails against his back making him growl again.

“Shit Jensen, I’m so close. Just a little more, oh god please!” I beg as he thrusted into me feverishly small grunts coming from him, “Yes, yes, oh… Jensen!”

My whole body was shaking as an intense wave of euphoria covered me. Pulsating around him, he abandoned all control chasing his own release.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He gritted his teeth as his body went rigid before slamming into me his length twitching deep within me, “Holy shit…”

Jensen rode out his release, his arms shaking to the point he could not hold himself up anymore. I groaned as he pulled out leaving me empty. He rolled onto his back breathing heavily as I curled into his side burying my head into his chest.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” His concern only made me cling to him more.

I shook my head, “No, I’m just overwhelmed. Too many feelings at once.”

“Talk it out. Tell me what you’re feeling.” Jensen wrapped his arms around me holding me close.

I took a deep breath, “I’m feeling exhilaration, bliss, pleasure. Right now, I’m feeling empty and it’s almost like I can’t breath. I feel scared by how much I need to feel your touch.”

His fingers were drawing small circles against my bare back, “If that’s your way of asking for round two, you’re going to have to wait for a little bit. I haven’t come like that since I was a teenager.”

There was a brief moment of silence before I started to laugh. My body shaking from the laughter pouring from my lips. I kissed his chest, “Thank you.”

“You never need to thank me. It’s my honor to make you laugh. Bring your pleasure. Praise you for your beautifulness. More importantly, always holding you close to me.”

I entwined my legs with his as he pulled the sheet over our naked bodies. Just when I thought he was about to fall asleep, I slipped my hand over his soft member then pressed my lips just under his chin.

“Round two?”

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

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#jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles x plus size!reader #jensen ackles #angst #fluff #smut

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waywardnewcomer · 5 years ago

Text

Reunited Finale

A/N: So it’s been a while. I edited this myself so all mistakes are my own. This is the final part, I hope you enjoy the ending! Thank you for sticking through this with me, sorry the updates haven’t been regular. Please go back and re-read, there are a lot of precursors to this ending!

Summary: Y/N’s happy ending is threatened by a car crash yet again, will it ruin their family or reunite them once and for all?

Warnings: Car accident, memory loss, a whole lot of fluff

Pairings: Jared x Stepdaughter!Reader, Genevieve x Goddaughter!Reader, Jensen x Niece!Reader, Misha x Niece!Reader, Danneel x Niece!Reader, Vicki x Niece!Reader

Word Count: 1.4K

Previous Part Series Masterpost Masterlist

Jared took a long look at Gen and kissed her pale temple. He looked up at Jensen and nodded.

“I need to see Y/N.” He smiled sadly, “Will you stay with her please?” He looked to Danneel.

“Of course, I’ll call the minute something changes,” She smiled at him nodding her head.

Jared nodded and followed Jensen out of the room, sighing softly. Jensen patted his hand on his back and lead him towards Y/N’s room.

Jared could hear you thrashing and shouting from the end of the corridor. His eyes widened and he quickened his pace to see you.

“Woah, Woah Y/N, Y/N.” Jared grabbed your flailing arms and looked into your eyes and whispered your name softly seeing you visibly calm down.

“Jared?” You looked at him softly, glad you recognised a familiar face. You collapsed into his chest, breathing heavily.

“I’m here, I’m here.” He gave Misha and Jensen a worried look over your head. Why were you so unsettled?

“I didn’t know where I was, I was so confused. Wait. Where’s Mom?” You asked frantically.

“She’s fine she’s in another room sleeping.” Jared sighed, deciding not to go into the gory details.

“What happened? Who are these men standing in my room?” You asked with a puzzled look on your face.

Jared looked between you, Jensen and Misha confused. Then it clicked.

“You called me Jared,” He sighed making you look at him weirdly. “Y/N what’s the last thing you remember?”

“Me and Mom going to pick you up from the airport.” You spoke as if it was obvious, getting scared at the concern etched onto his face. “What? What is it?” You looked around at the men in the room, all of them with the same sad look on their faces.

“Y/N your Mom died 6 years ago in a car crash. You’ve lived with Gen since then and with me and Gen for the past 2 years,” Jared sighed. “This is your Uncle Jensen and Uncle Misha, my co-stars.” He gestured to the men beside him.

“What?” You asked tears forming in your eyes. “NO, you’re wrong! You’re wrong!” You shouted.

“Y/N,” Jensen tried, speaking softly.

“Get out. All of you. GET OUT!” You shouted letting your tears roll down your cheeks.

The men ushered out of your room and looked to Jared softly.

“You okay man? That was a lot.” Jensen patted his hand on his back.

“Yeah, it was just hard to relive it all.” Jared sighed, “Look I’ve got to go find her doctor. Can you go sit with Gen? Just so I know she has people.”

They both nodded and gave him a solemn hug before walking down the corridor.

Once Jared had spoken to your doctor and allowed him to do a few tests he walked back into your room hoping you had calmed down.

“You can sit down,” You smiled sadly. Jared obliged and took your hand looking to the doctor for answers.

“Y/N has suffered from trauma from the car accident and is suffering from localised dissociative amnesia. She has forgotten the most painful part of her life and has lost all the memory from then to now. However, this should come back within the next few days. Just be patient.” The doctor smiled.

“Thanks, doc.” Jared smiled and shook his hand. He looked back towards your sad face.

“Okay, fill me in.” You sighed softly, knowing you had a whole 6 years to catch up on, making Jared smile softly.

Just as Jared was recounting the engagement one of the men from before, who you had now come to know as Jensen, popped in looked at Jared urgently and just said, “It’s Gen.”

You’ve never seen him jump out of his chair so fast. You looked up at him worried.

“Can I come? Please, if I lost you for 4 years I don’t want to be away from you another moment in case it happens again.” You begged him, making him nod indecisively.

Jensen got you a wheelchair and wheeled you down behind Jared’s long strides to Gen’s room. He hadn’t uttered a word about whether it was good or bad news since he’d barged in on your reminiscing but the tug at the corner of his mouth suggested it was good news.

“Gen!” Jared exclaimed as he saw her eyes open and her talking softly to Daneel, sat up slightly in bed.

“Jare, how are we all? Oh Y/N look at you.” Gen exclaimed reaching out for your hands. Jensen wheeled you closer so you could grab on.

“I have memory loss.” You stated sadly, looking into Gen’s pained eyes.

“We’ll get through it, like a proper family,” Jared smiled putting his arms around his girls.

*2 months later*

Recovery had been tough on all of you, your memory came flooding back a few weeks after the accident causing your heart to break all over again, Gen had a lot of rehabilitation and Jared was rushing himself about silly looking after you both. As a family, you had decided to set something to look forwards to as a recovery goal. Your adoption.

The day had come and Jared had gone to the courts to sign the forms, you and Gen were waiting in the foyer, arm in arm. Your life as a family was about to begin. As Jared came out waving the papers and smiling you shrieked in delight and ran and jumped to hug him, him spinning you around.

“I am now officially your Dad.” He sighed clapping his hands on yours and Gen’s backs. “To commemorate this occasion I have come up with an amazing Dad joke so brace yourselves.” His voice rose with anticipation.

“Oh god, Dad please don’t.” You begged laughing.

“You’re gonna love it. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Huh?” He laughed at himself.

“Go on before you die with excitement,” Gen sighed jokingly.

“Nobody knows!” He laughed at himself, looking at the two of you waiting for you to join in.

“That was terrible.” You laughed, your Mom nodding in agreement.

“Right let’s go we have a wedding to get to.” Jared winked making you look at him in surprise.

“What?” You asked confused.

“Surprise! You’re the maid of honour so we gotta go get ready quick!” Gen squealed, grabbing your hand and taking you across the courtroom foyer to the changing rooms where Danneel and Vicki were waiting with makeup and tongs.

“You were all in on this?” You asked laughing.

“Of course, now chop chop get in the chair so I can work my magic.” Danneel laughed, ushering you into the chair in front of her.

Walking down the aisle with Jensen and Misha by your side was surreal, your family dream was finally becoming a reality. You stood to the side looking at your Dad and grinning. You turned to see your Mom walking down the small aisle in the courthouse, in a simple gown and watched your Dad physically go weak at the knees.

You looked around the room seeing your Mom and Dad’s closest friends and family and sighed, you were finally part of something special. You spent the whole ceremony feeling grateful and teary listening to the absolute adoration they shared for each other. Your parents made this happen, even though they weren’t around they gave you the best life you could have asked for.

“Time for the honeymoon,” Jensen grinned once you had all gone out for a celebratory meal.

“Honeymoon?” You asked inquisitively, this day had already been overwhelming enough. “You’re leaving me so soon?”

“You’re coming with stupid!” Jared laughed softly, “We’re going to the summer cabin, and everyone is invited.”

“Really?” You squealed making the adults laugh.

“Of course, Honey’s coming too.” Gen laughed and gave you a kiss on the forehead.

That night you started the long road trip to Malibu from Texas, taking a full day it made you exhausted. You slept most of the next day and woke up to the smell of BBQ wafting through the house.

You quickly got dressed and grabbed your denim jacket heading out to your favourite spot, greeting your family as you went by. You sat on the dock and looked out onto the lake, just as you did 6 years ago and sighed. You were finally a family again, this time with different people and a whole lot more love. Honey came bounding over to your side licking your face making you giggle, followed by your Dad behind.

“You okay sweetie?”

“Just reminiscing, I sat in this spot 6 years ago, so much has changed but I still feel so loved.”

“You always will be, we’re a family now.” Your Mom came over and wrapped a blanket around your shoulders.

“We’re never getting split up ever again,” Jared muttered to himself, smiling at the scene of his family all together once more.

Forever Tags: @creativedogs @a-magey @natashacamillaus @platonic-plots @captainsherlockwinchester110283 @sleepylunarwolf @claitynroberts @theshortegg @casiskween @robfangirl @fanficwithasideofcanon @jaremish @mlovesstories @lauren-novak @hi-my-name-is-riley @spn-tw-37 @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @spnrelatedurl @phonegalhelp @springholland @the-hufflepuff-hunter @chonisberonica @coralphantomninja @therealmrshale

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sleepywinchester · 5 years ago

Text

Behind The Story S2 | Pt. 26

Summary: Y/N’s last day shooting Supernatural.

Author: sleepywinchester (prev. deanwinchester-af)

Characters: Jensen, Reader, Jared, Gen and Cast Cameos.

Pairings: Single!Jensen x Actress!Reader (Nina Dobrev = Faceclaim)

Words: 3k +

Beta: N/A

Warnings: none really :)

Disclaimer: NO HATE TOWARDS DANNEEL! We wuv her in this acc but this is just for science lol

Note: If I had to choose a top five of bitter sweets chapters I’ve written for this series, this one would be #5. I’m sad about this but happy about this and it’s just a mix of emotions. I feel like I wrote a good goodbye for y/n and her character, just hope you guys think the same. xoxo

. I really hope you guys like this. ♥

Title: End of An Era

MASTERLIST

Jensen sang softly to an old country song that you honestly have never heard before that morning. Which was rare, listening to your husband sing country songs wasn’t a new for you but this song surely was. It was a peaceful morning, the snow was fresh from the night before. It was 6:30 am and the roads were slightly empty. Soft shades of blue began to bloom in the sky. It was quite magical. Your eyes landed on Jensen, whom wore a gray beanie.

The corner of his lips were subtly curved up.

“What?” Jensen asked, giving you a quick glance.

You smiled, taking in how the dim light contrasted with his facial features.

“You look happy.”

Jensen’s small smile turned into a bigger fuller grin, “I am happy.” He switched his eyes from the road again to wink at you for a second before looking back. “I haven’t driven to work with you in… months. Of course, I am happy.”

“I’ve missed this,” you said in a sigh.

He holds your hand and kissed the back of it, “Me too.”

Then he continued to sing but this song was one you knew too well.

“Baby you’re all that I need… we’re heaven.”

- - - - -

You sat on the hair and makeup chair and went over your lines. It’s the last day of filming, after a full week of mentally preparing yourself, you realized this wasn’t something easy to prepare for. When you decided to retire from Supernatural, one of your concerns was what would happen to Katherine. Having her killed off just wasn’t an option… Convincing the network, writers and the runner of the show not to kill Katherine Pierce wasn’t an easy task. After a lot of use of your persuasion skills, emails, calls and face to face meetings. The news of your beloved character was going to have a good ending lifted a weight off your shoulders.

“How do you feel?” Clary asked as she created loose curls on your short hair.

“About?” You looked up from the script.

“Last day filming here,” Clary looked at you through the mirror as she continued to do your hair, “last day working with everyone, last day being Katherine Pierce. How do you feel?”

You sighed at Clary, someone who has turned from just a coworker to a good friend over the years. “I-.” your voice broke a little, “I feel like I am pressing pause in a chapter of my life. Like I am just holding this skill like I am putting to bed this character… The feeling is bittersweet but it’s exciting at the same time. I am excited to be a mom full time.”

“It’s the end of an era, though,” she replied.

You bit the insides of your mouth. “It is… A great era but it’s also the beginning of a new one.”

“That is true,” she said with a smile.

“Y/N?” Jensen spoke your name as he walked into the trailer. “There you are, hey Clary, how is it going?” He glanced at her.

Clary shrugged, “Nothing much, just here doing my favorite’s hair one last time.”

“Awn,” you playfully punched her arm, “I will be back as a guest.”

You and Jensen were walking hand in hand to set when you stopped and asked him for a picture. Suddenly feeling the need to take a picture of the last moment you were going to have a fresh look at Katherine Pierce. He smiled and took out his iPhone, taking your picture in a matter of seconds.

“Let me see,” you said reaching his side.

“Are you doubting your personal photographer?” He said with a joking tone.

You chuckled, “I would never but still, I want to see.”

Jensen subtly rolled his eyes with a half-smile and showed you the picture. You nodded agreeing with him that it was a good one. It took you a couple seconds to post this in your Instagram Stories as you both continued to set where the network interviewer was waiting for you.

“Hey everyone,” you said as you walked in.

Jared was shooting with Misha in another location while the interview was going to take place in the Men Of Letters library. Bobby one of the current show runners was there also for the interview. When Bobby saw you he opened his arms and you went in for a hug. You officially began to feel like today was really a goodbye.

“I will pay you more if you stay,” Bobby told you after breaking the longing hug.

You chuckled, shaking your head slowly. “There is no amount of money changing my decision, Bob.” You teased with a smirk

Bob shook his head as well, “I tried. Can at least we have you for a guest star in the future?”

“Of course,” you told him and saw a spark light up in his eyes, “maybe in two years or three, when this show finally hits 300 episodes. Or in the show’s finale, I can put Katherine to bed again.”

He smiled, nodding, “I’ll have that.”

“Excuse me,” one of the network workers politely interrupted yours and Bob’s conversation. “We are ready to start the interview whenever you guys are.”

“I’m ready,” you said with a smile, seeing that Jensen was already seated in front of the camera and with his microphone on. You glanced at Bobby excusing yourself from the conversation and walking towards the seats and Jensen. Sitting down next to him the assistants began to plug in the microphones and doing the necessaries audio checks before the interview officially began.

“Hey guys, my name is Pepper, I will be doing today’s interview.” Pepper was a tall blonde, who wore a navy blue pantsuit. “I want to say it’s a pleasure to do this interview, even though it is a bit bittersweet. Katherine Pierce is, without doubt, an iconic character in this series. She is such a bad ass.”

It felt good listening to someone talk about Katherine and her character as good as Pepper did. Katherine was that kind of character that changed people's minds. She was always evolving for the better. Her development was something you constantly worried about and tried your best to portray on the screen and it was very satisfactory to hear that your hard work did actually pay off.

You gave Pepper the biggest smile, “Thank you, I really appreciate that.”

“Ready,” the camera guy whispered as he stood behind the camera.

“Well,” Pepper looked at Jensen and me, “let’s start, shall we?”

You fixed your posture and smiled at the camera, waiting for the questions about your departure from the show to begin.

“Jensen, how do you feel about this being Y/N’s last day on set?”

You glanced at Jensen for a second when you felt his look over you.

“It’s bitter-sweet, she is one of the best actress and persons I know,” He smiled and hold your hand. “I mean, those are some of the reasons I married her in the first place.” Jensen finished the song with a chuckle.

She nodded and looked at you, “How do you feel about today being your last day?”

“I was talking about this with the head of hair and makeup, Clary. She asked me the same question and everyone has asked me the same question lately… As Jensen said, this is a very bitter-sweet day for me and for everyone. The last couple of years in this show have been more than just working years. They are full of memories with friends that have become family.”

“It’s the end of an era,” Pepper said with a pitch of sadness in her tone.

You gave her and the camera a small smile. “It is the end of an era but… it’s also the start of a new one.”

“It is no secret that you are retiring from acting… What are your plans now that you won’t have an acting schedule to keep up with?”

“My plans are very simple, enjoy my time as a mother and as a wife,” you replied with total honesty. “I want to build new experiences with my family.”

“Are you guys planning on expanding your family?”

Jensen and I looked at each other, both smiling.

“We don’t know yet but now we will surely have more time to think about it.” You said.

“What can we expect for Katherine’s last episode in Supernatural?”

Without thinking your eyes met with Jensen’s and you both gave the camera mischief smiles. Obviously you weren’t supposed to say but both wanted to have fun while you guys can.

“Let’s just say it’s not what the fans are expecting,” you said, still smiling.

“Yeah,” Jensen spoke, “I believe everyone will be shocked once they see it.”

“Before we end… anything you want to say to the fans?”

“Thank you Supernatural Family for years and years of support. Thank you for all the love and dedication you guys have for the show. Thanks to you guys, I was able to come back and continue playing this awesome and badass character. I appreciate all of you. Goodbye,” you kissed the tip of your fingers and blew a kiss towards the camera. Giving the camera a grateful and farewell smile.

“And that’s a wrap for the interview,” Pepper said. “It was honestly a pleasure doing this, wish you and your family the best.”

“Oh my God, you’re going to make me cry,” you say as you went in for a hug.

/ / /

“Are you ready, Y/N?” Bob asked from the director’s seat.

You smirked looking at the camera, knowing he was looking at the monitors.

“When have I ever not been ready?” You said full of confidence.

He chuckled, “Alright, don’t break a leg… Again. ACTION!”

The second he shouted the magical word you breathed in deeply and got into character. You began to run as fast as you can towards the man playing a demon. You fake punched his face and with that, the fight sequence began between the two. In order to make this last fight memorable you were about to do Katherine’s iconic and signature fight move. It was the one you did on Jensen when you were pregnant and ended with you having a broken leg for a month. This was the first time in months that you were doing this specific move and it was like riding a bike. You didn’t know if it was the adrenaline or just how empowering it felt looking at this sequence in camera but this was definitely your favorite Katherine’s fight move.

It was like your body took possession over your own mind and moved by itself. Executing each movement carefully making sure it was mind-blowing on camera for the viewers but safe for you and your co-star.

“Cut!” Bob shouted from his director's seat.

Bob’s shout was followed by a round of applause from everyone who was on set. Your body froze at the great admiration your colleagues were showing. Your cheeks felt warm as a sunny day in Austin.

“That was perfect, my dear,” Bob said between claps. “Let’s continue nailing these shots so we can leave early for your going away party, shall we?”

You giggled and winked at him, “Will do, boss.”

The jokes, smiles, farewells, and tears continued throughout the day. You were standing in front of Jared as he acted his part of the scene. Jared’s eyes were red and full of real tears as he spoke. You have been working together for too long not to know when some tears or smiles were real or not. He knew the tears you were crying were real as well because of the same reason. Today was so full of farewells that you could not hide the emotions as you acted your last scenes.

“Thank you, Kat.” Jared spoke softly, “Thank you for taking care of us… Thank you for taking care of him…”

Smiling weakly you hold the right side of his face. “I’m the one who has to say thank you. If it wasn’t for the Winchesters, I’d be lost.” With the end of your line, a hug was queued into the sequence. Jared holds you so tightly that it started to be difficult to breathe but you didn’t mind. The years of working together have turned both into more than co-workers. It turned him into family and the idea of not working as closely with each other was very sad.

“Cut!” Bob shouted but you and Jared did not separate.

“This is harder than I thought,” Jared whispered.

You sniffed, “It is…”

“Change of clothes everyone!” One of the crew shouted.

“Hey!” Shay met you as you were approaching your trailer. She was holding a white box on her hands.

You smiled opening your arms and giving her a hug.

“Please tell me those are donuts,” you said breaking the hug.

Shay chuckled, “They are.”

The two of you walked together into the trailer. A white long dress is the first thing you see.“Wow,” you sighed, “I think this one is better than my real one.”

“It’s pretty, but your real-life one was so beautiful,” Shay said as she placed her bag and a box of donuts on the top counter. “And your real life was… you know, real.”

You chuckled, grabbing a donut, “It was… but that one is still so beautiful. Would the network be mad if I accidentally keep it?”

Shay’s eyes widen for a second, “You’re planning on stealing this too?! You have two bags full of Katherine’s stuff already.”

‘Those bags the network approved,” you spoke. “This would be technically the only thing I actually steal.”

At that moment Shay was about to say something but her words got cut off by someone knocking on your trailer’s door. You and Shay glanced at the door before you reached it and opened it. The knocking was coming from Clary.

“Hey,” you smiled, “we were about to head over your trailer.”

Clary walked into your trailer, “Production just sent me an email. I have to do your hair and makeup here just in case someone sees you and spoils Kat’s grand farewell to the show.”

Your eyebrows fringed together. “This crew had worked there for more than a decade… Who will possibly spoil something at this point?”

“It’s not just the crew out there… There are at least thirty curious fans by the gates.” Clary began to open her kit. “Bob just wants to make sure nothing leaks out.”

Instead of thinking too much about the situation, you decided to sit down and let Clary perform her magic. “Well, he’s the boss,” you said sitting down on a chair.

“Are you nervous?” Jensen texted you.

You smirked looking down at your cell-phone.

“As if it was our first time getting married... “ You sent back.

“Maybe this can count as renewing our vows,” Jensen replied.

You smiled at Jensen’s words. “How about we worry about renewing vows when we are 50.”

“Good idea,” Jensen said.

You watched the three dots inside of a bubble, waiting for the next message of your beloved.

“How are you holding up?”

You sighed deeply, “I’m feeling good, haven’t cried as much as I thought.”

“You still have time,” Jensen sent. “See you on set in 20.”

Looking away from a cell phone, you grabbed your script and began to go over the lines as Clary continued to do your hair and makeup. It was bittersweet to read your lines in the script for one last time. You cried the first time you got to read the script and experience all the emotions that were written for Katherine in that last scene. It was going to be a sequence full of love and farewells.

“You’re all set, star,” Clary’s voice took you out of the clouds.

“Time to get in the dress,” Shay said from the couch.

Sliding into Katherine’s wedding dress gave you chills. It was like you were about to get married again. You knew that as an actor you need to separate your feelings from your character’s feelings but after working with the same character for so many years it was difficult not to get the feelings mixed up.

Walking out of the bedroom Clary and Shay glanced at you in awe.

“You ready to give Katherine Pierce the grand goodbye she deserves?” Shay asked.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror, reminiscing on the years that had passed. Thinking about all the sacrifices that this character put you through. Everything that you have learned from Katherine. She became more than just a character you played on TV. Katherine Pierce became a part of who you were and you were grateful for the opportunity of being the one who brought this character into life.

“How are we going to make sure none of those curious fans or paparazzi see this huge dress?”

Shay chuckled for a second, “They cleared all the possible spots with paparazzi.”

Trusting her word you decided to talk out of the trailer. Shay and Clary helping you with the back of the dress. You guys walked slowly towards the golfing car with Cliff on the driver’s seat. He instantly smiled at the sight of you, and you couldn’t do anything else that just smile back.

“Wow, Y/N! You look beautiful,” Cliff said.

You winked at him, with the smile on your face still. “Thanks, Cliff.”

“Jensen is going to drop on his feet,” he said turning on.

“You betcha,” Shay said in the backseat.

You chuckled, “Good.”

The drive towards the set was small and quick. You usually didn’t had Cliff drive you around but this sequence and dress couldn’t be walked on the streets. You and the crew needed to make sure it was spotless for the scene.

Once you got to set, everyone looked at you with the same look Shay and Clary gave you. Everyone was smiling and you felt like it was your own wedding all over again.

“You look stunning,” you heard Bob’s voice and turned around.

“Thanks,” you smiled, “how are we doing this?”

“Big guy is already waiting for you at the altar,” Bob said. “Bit of a dejavu he’s saying.”

You glanced down at your white dress and chuckled. “I can see why he’s feeling that way.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “nothing like the real deal though.”

“Nothing like the real deal,” you said and smiled.

---

“Wow,” Jensen sighed at the sight of you walking into set.

You smiled slowly spinning to have him take a 365 look of you. He chuckled watching you show off the bridal dress.

“Looking good, babe,” he said.

“And you look so handsome,” you could not help yourself and kissed him on the lips.

The kiss was quick and soft but very nice.

“Are you ready to get married again?” Jensen asked after you guys broke the kiss.

You nodded fixing the bottom of your dress, “Good thing we decided to get married before this happened. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if we had done this the other way around.”

“I think I’d probably eloped after this scene. You look too stunning not to marry you.”

Jensen always knew what to say, it was one of the reasons you loved him so much. At that moment, Jared, Misha and the rest of the cast got to set and everyone went right down to business.

The course of this last episode was just how you thought it was going to be; bittersweet. It was full of laughs, tears and amazing actors working towards one goal. The goal was to give the fans a performance of a lifetime. This truly was an end of an era for you. Deep down you knew that it also meant the ending of something you didn’t even were looking for when you first got the part.

The last scene consisted of Katherine and Dean dancing in the middle of an empty field of roses. You guys were in character but deep down you couldn’t help but enjoy this little moment for yourself as well. Jensen holds you closer to his body, showing the emotion of Dean not wanting to let go.

“I’m scared,” Jensen said his lines, Dean’s deep voice vibrating through your body. Your husband did a stunning job portraying his characters feelings. It was an extremely sad moment for Dean Winchester. A character that has lost so much and was going to lose the one thing that has brought hope to his life.

“Dean Winchester,” you whispered in character, “I did not think you were scared of anything.” Your character had a special ability to make Dean smile even in the saddest moments. Jensen smiled softly at the small comment your character made.

“I am only scared of losing you,” Jensen said. The script said that after that line he would hold you closer as you both danced. It took you for a small surprise when Jensen did a soft spin, holding you off your feet. Improvising in the most beautiful way. You also knew it was a good add on to the moment since Bob did not call cut on the sequence.

Standing back, you touched Jensen’s chest. “I will always be here,” you said staring into his eyes, “till the end of times.”

The line was a queue for a passionate kiss, which you and your husband delivered. After a couple of seconds, you broke the kiss and whispered something in Jensen’s ear. He in character reacted by widening his eyes and staring at you as you slowly walked out of the scene. The camera only recording you walk away and Jensen you watching you in silence.

As you were about to walk out of the camera’s sight, a whipped cream pie hit you in the face.

“What the fuck?!” You yelled completely startled by the pie.

Instantly everyone around you began to laugh, you stood there in the middle of a circle made by all your colleagues. Laughing you turned to Jensen who held the half empty pie on his hand. With narrow eyes and a devilish smirk, you ran towards him and covered his face with the some of the pie that was left on your face. Jensen holds you by your waist and licked bits of the pie on your face. A couple of flashes from cameras were shot as you lived one of the happiest goodbyes.

Suddenly you began to cry but it was a mixture of happiness and sadness. It was such a bitter sweet moment.

“Honey?” Jensen looked at you, concerned of your crying.

You smiled trying to wipe the frosting and tears off your face.

“It’s happy and sad tears,” you said with a shrug. “I will miss this place so much.” Jensen instantly hugged you closer to him, and so did everyone around.

“We will miss you too, Y/N” you heard around you.

“At least we have the goodbye party to get closure,” Misha said with a chuckle.

You chuckled as well, “at least.”

- - - - - - - - - - -

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