#here I go again with the self indulgent posts
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DRV3 blackeneds and how you would (maybe) perform first aid on them if they managed to survive their executions (part 2)
I'm surprised you guys seemed to like the last post I made along these lines, so here's some self indulgent brain rot yet again. Once again should say that I'm just a beginner and am omitting stuff
Kaede:
For this, let's say that Kaede managed to escape being crushed by those spikes at the end. She'd either have to be gently lifted down, or have something moved under her so that the rope was no longer strangling her. After that, she should be carefully lowered to the ground for assumed spinal injuries (hold cspine). If she got nicked by the spikes at all, put pressure to those injuries. Treat for shock, give oxygen.
Kirumi:
Kirumi DEFINITELY has a major spinal/head injury. She should be immediately held in cspine and then checked for broken bones, which should then be stabilized. This is a rough one because of the sheer amount of lacerations she has- first aid responders would probably have to quickly identify the worst ones (ie the ones bleeding the most) and immediately bandage them up to put pressure on them while bandaging up the minor ones and freeing their hands to again deal with the major cuts. Treat for shock, too. You'd need all hands on deck for this one.
Korekiyo:
Other than dizziness and disorientation, the spinning at the beginning should be no problem. The biggest concern would be the major burns he would have over 80+% of his body, which would be life threatening. You'd have to remove as much of his clothes that were submerged in the boiling water as possible before any swelling, but not if they were stuck to him. Use cool (not cold) water to lessen the pain, then cover him in a dry sheet until you can get more help. I'm going to assume some kind of internal head injury (re: bleeding from the eyes?) and say to hold cspine just in case.
Gonta:
Uhhh. Hoo boy. okay. The biggest concern here is obviously the gaping chest wound. This would be extremely difficult to deal with and is kind of immediately out of my scope, but If I had to try and do something, Id say to pack the injury and slow blood flow as much as possible. Lower him and hold cspine, though the stake he's tied to might ironically help with this (considering the exit wound is probably through the spine, I'm not sure it would help MUCH, but it's better than not doing anything). I guess while youre waiting for more help you can care for the stings? but the chest wound is going to be problematic enough I don't think you'd have time to worry about that.
In a much more ideal situation, the bug's leg would stay through him and help to stop blood loss. But regardless, this is a really rough one.
Kaito:
If we're just talking about his execution itself, we'd have to check for broken bones and hold cspine for an assumed spinal/head injury. But that's not what killed him, is it? I'm not entirely sure how to go about Kaito's illness... from what we have in canon there really isn't much that could be done via first aid anyways. Keep him comfortable, give him oxygen, let him cough up the blood. The only way a first aid responder could do anything is if we were playing by the rules that his "illness" was actually poison. If you could figure out what poison it was, that could be extremely useful for him getting the help he needs later. but yeah, not much you can really do about that for him in the moment.
#shut up me#drv3 spoilers#eno don't look#kaito remains eternally doomed. unfortunately#was going to end this with tsumugi but its just the same joke as last time LMAO
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Trapped in a dating sim: Regressor Leon Hc's
Just finished book three for this series and decided to be self-indulgent and make some agere headcanons, thus here we are
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~So I had it in my head that Leon would be a caregiver until it hit me that no, he fits the combination of a toddler in dire need of a nap and forever being stuck in his terrible twos. In other words, still causing problems for everyone involved even while regressed.
~For awhile only Luxion knew that Leon regressed, given that the AI is always with him. I think he'd soften up a bit whenever his master is feeling small and probably keep him out of harms way and out of sight to the best of his ability. Either on the Partner, or just in Leon's dorm room.
~ Now I offer you this, Who would win? A robot capable of destroying the world vs 1 sarcastic toddler.
~That one part in the manga where he gets a headband to put on Luxion- that but he keeps trying to do that to the robot whenever he's regressed. Putting small stickers on him, or a small hat, or anything else cute that he can find and manage the AI to wear. Luxion doesn't necessarily like it, but doesn't say no. Like he won't stop Leon from doing anything. Probably finds a way to blackmail him once he's big again let's be honest.
~Leon would probably throw a temper tantrum at the drop of a hat. Literally the most fussiest baby ever. So cranky over anything and everything.
~Upon Olivia and Angie finding out about his regression (which is bound to happen sooner or later) they immediately decided to take up the roles as caregivers for the regressed boy.
~Leon meanwhile is constantly trying to push his caregiver’s buttons.
~Goes to Olivia whenever he’s about to get in trouble. She’s a pushover and can never bring it in herself to get upset at Leon no matter what he does when little. Angie on the other hand has no issues putting the regressor into time out.
~Luxion meanwhile who literally just encourages the baby crimes. He just wants to watch the world burn and to make sure that Leon's happy.
~He’d host so many pretend tea parties ‘inviting’ every single one of his stuffed animals.
~Wants to brew his own tea but only manages to spill boiling water on himself and start crying over it. But then throws a fit if one of the girls tries to make him something to drink because he claims they don't know how to do it right. So instead he just pouts.
~Probably threw a pillow at the girls during a temper tantrum and felt horrible about it afterwards, but still refused to apologize until the next time he was small and the guilt was simply too much for a mentally two year old to handle.
#here I go again with the self indulgent posts#age regression#fandom agere#age regression headcanons#mayliz rambles#sfw agere#anime agere#trapped in a dating sim#trapped in a dating sim agere
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i deserve a spider-woman nepal..... miles doesn't have to be the only teen spider with a terrible bisexual mentor (enter my own sketches of the world's most annoying spiderperson, who i fling towards pavitr, complete with a design that's subject to change)
#geeta methodically puts on all her jewelery before going out as spiderwoman <3 u cant fight crime if u are not cute#spidersona#of sorts? i think but everyone should have expected this from me. there was no way sony was going to give me spiderman india#and not receive spiderwoman nepal (THE KATHMANHATTAN JOKE IS TOO EASY) in response#im tackling south asian unity one spidersona at a time!#pavitr prabhakar#spiderman#my art#also ofc one specific mention to demigod-of-the-agni who inadvertently triggered my actual posting of geeta#who was just supposed to stay in my psd files forever.....#mythic mumbattan au my beloved. hindu mythology my beloved. genuinely so so cool to see and it enabled me being self indulgent on this blog#for some extra context: im very much still workshopping her and me and my nepali friend were drawing her tgt#as in she would say something and i would hurriedly scribble/sketch it down#and then i kept kinda building on it. ofc i could not resist being inspired by the comics noirverse#so here she's also gifted her powers by a goddess (durga!!!!!) and almost works w her like a much less deranged moon knight. yeah...#don't look too closely at these pls . the design/sketching/etc is kind of everywhere#edit: forgot to adjust colors so theyre up again and a little more vibrant nyeow....
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hello radiant emperor fandom. i heard you guys like dark historical fantasies about genderqueer warlords and their ruthless pursuit of Revenge and/or The Throne… well let me put you onto something:
need more emo femboys with daddy issues? doomed siblings? lord/vassal dynamics? romantic stabbing? corruption arcs? sexy masochism? you 🫵 should consider reading
Requiem of the Rose King by Aya Kanno
loosely based off Shakespeare's Henry and Richard plays, this manga follows intersex protagonist Richard III (yes he has straight black hair with the bangs covering one eye. yes it’s to hide his heterochromia) through England's War of the Roses.
(he is so cute don't you just want to see him snarling and covered in blood. don't you want to see him slowly abandon his ideals in a desperate bid to be accepted by the world that shunned and demonized him.)
battle, bloodshed, and court politics ensue! also because it's a shoujo manga, Richard becomes the psychosexual obsession of most of the male cast and engages in a toxic doomed relationship or two.
this is not a series for those looking for good queer rep, but perfect for anyone who wants to read about beautiful criminally insane people tearing each other's throats out and being horny about it. it is fun, violent, melodramatic, sexy, and utterly devastating. and although it is tonally very different from TRE, it has so many similar ingredients that i think it deserves to be on your radar. actually it deserves to be on everyone's radar, it's so fucking good and doesn't get anywhere near the attention it deserves...
yea there is an anime that is unforgivably ugly and so heavily censored it's a mystery why they even bothered to adapt it. would not recommend it at all but i guess you can watch it if you want, i am not the police.
actually no i changed my mind. Aya Kanno's work is stunning and deserves to be appreciated. ok case rested.
#the radiant emperor#swbts#rotrk#requiem of the rose king#shoujo manga#for posterity i am reiterating: the rep is not good this is not an authentic or realistic portrayal of intersex experience/identity#not to mention a handful of other questionable elements that i'm not going into here bc this is a rec post#regardless i think this series will hit for anyone who enjoys narratives that explore gender and dysphoria#not all of those hits are bullseyes but i still had a great time. no regrets would sob my eyes out in the middle of the night again#originally i wanted to make a general rec post for rotrk#but most of my followers are tre people so nobody else will see it anyway 👍#anyway thanks for coming to probably my most niche self-indulgent post yet#please nobody report me for nipple
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“Not a soul assigned to their case at the Bureau could make sense of their existence. There wasn’t a single scientist, parapsychologist, doctor, or specialist with over a dozen PHD’s under the sun that could figure them out. Pyrokinesis in a human? They defy every law of nature, yet they exist amongst humanity regardless. How do you explain that?” “The truth is that there are a lot of unknown things out there in the world that mankind hasn't even begun to scratch the surface of. Everyone flocked to this case trying to find rational answers, but there aren’t any. Look at the files in your hands. By the eyes of science, Pyro should not exist. Don’t you know what happens to things mankind doesn’t understand? The Bureau has done sickening things to them in the name of research.” “That’s why I helped them escape, Conagher.”
Excerpt from the novel INCENDIARY; A TF2 Pyro origin story Read the latest chapter of 'Incendiary' on AO3 here! Artwork created by the incredible @narklos ♡
#tf2#tf2 pyro#if you're reading this hello!! I'm the author of this story!#I was basically struck with an idea one day... what if I created a whole pyro origin story with deep world building and original characters#7 years later here I am :)#the pyro origin story nobody asked for but is getting anyways!#while it is on track to be a origin-type novel it is also still very much a self-indulgent fanfic#I still have a long ways to go before this fic is done but this is by far one of the most ambitious projects Ive ever done for any fandom#and I hope you all love it too <3#also CAN I JUST SAY#NARKLOS IS A GOD#I gave him a vision and he just blew my fucking mind away with the final product that I'm still in awe about this#Narklos if you're reading this ILY and I can't wait to work with you again <3#also I should mention that the excerpt IS in the story but in a future chapter that isn’t out yet#but it was fitting for this post :)
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Spring Nap time 💤 🐰
#fire emblem heroes#fe heroes#fe alfonse#alfonse fire emblem#alfonse feh#summoner oc#kiran x alfonse#summoner x Alfonse#kiralfonse#oc x Alfonse#myn art tag#summoner cresselia tag#hi I’m here to be cringe again#on my kiralfonse agenda w my summoner oc#spring nap time style#ignore that it’s fall#I’ve had this sitting for a while but never posted it to tumblr#so here we go!#did fix things slightly between when I first posted to Twitter and now#anyway thank you for indulging me in being cringe and self indulgent#it will happen again#feh summoner oc#feh summoner
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oc textposts :)
#i make my own shitposts#self indulgent content#this post makes me Wheeze everytime#crebsketch#dumping here for archival purposes again#ocs#andrea#venus#hugo#pen drawings my beloved...#im really proud of how i drew them here tho. was going for the visual novel sprite look#or. i forgot the wording LMAO i wanted to them to be more interactive than just. front facing sprites
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I really didn't think I was going to get Chapter 19 up on time, but I did and I have!
And MAN the Garashir in this chapter is some of my favourite stuff I've ever written, honestly I'm rereading it and I can't believe I wrote it... Ah man, I'm so hype to share this chapter with youuuuu!
#5+1 visionary fic#I AM SO HYPE#i've said it before and i'll say it again#canon-typical garashir subtext is THE most fun to write#even if it's tricky as fuck#honestly half-tempted to rewrite this chapter as something that functions as an out-of-context oneshot#would that be too self-indulgent?#maybe#sorry#i just... there are a lot of moments i love here#right anyway#mission of posting it accomplished for today#andi writes#wsb#let's go
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The Online Fandom 7 Deadly Sins
sloth: complaining about how no one writes the tropes or pairings you like and bashing what's already out there, while refusing to create anything you desire yourself
greed: zine and other finance-related scandals with zero remorse for those negatively affected
gluttony: spending rent money on merch, experiencing buyer's remorse, then repeating the same process next month
wrath: anon hate over literally everything under the sun, even harassing official writers and threatening them if they don't make your ship canon
pride: devaluing other's characterizations and ships to praise yours as better, whether through a canon perspective or a moral perspective, when neither matter in the long run when it comes to your own enjoyment
envy: trash talking others' fandom creations or saying you won't bother creating anything because it'll never be as good as them
lust: fighting over who tops or bottoms because of your personal preferences when one, both, or neither could happen, especially when most of these characters never even kiss canonically nor have most people fighting done any of these things irl themselves
#parker says things#i'm not exempt I've definitely done a few of the things listed#especially pride and envy god those really go hand in hand and it's sad#but seriously...guys does any of this matter in the long run#just have fun#if someone is having fun in a way that clashes with your own type of enjoyment just hit da bricks!#that guy's got horns! well not gonna ruin my day!#live like Yusuke guys#i've been afk because I'm dealing with some intense depression but fandom has actively hurt more than helped me#and I know plenty of ppl myself included think discussion of meta is enjoyable but I think things reach a point where it's only stewing#the inherent focus on adhering to a singular strict perspective is toxic to ourselves in the long run#have fun! be self indulgent#almost everything posted is gonna be ooc to some people even if it's 100 percent accurate to others#and just in general idk I think we should focus on fandom as a sense of fun instead of a marketing ploy#most of us are not here to make fanart or writing a career#I'm not really a community person and I've learned that the hard way over a decade and more#but i just hope people will find what sparks joy and enjoy themselves again#I don't think I'll be active in fandoms much anymore as I focus more on my personal life and recover from some things#but I wish everyone much love and hope for the best for people#even if we've had some bad interactions I do not wish ill upon anyone#i got off topic but these tags are just me saying I'll stick to lurking publicly and replying to my DMs and writing in private#will still post some things to my AO3!! maybe#anyways tag yourself I'm a recovering glutton/envy
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it’s about to be june everybody :)
#ladrien#ladrienjune#ladrien june#wip wednesday#well. here we are again. i think im going to let the plot of this one be a surprise simply because i have no idea how to describe it#and i haven’t even thought of a title yet. june is (technically - it’s one in the morning here) TOMORROW😭😭😭#ive only prewritten two chapters and i have a vague outline of an incredibly complex plot. a typical peachcitt ladrien june ig#anyway. get ready for the vibe of a lifetime#been really into the idea of just writing a fuck all whatever vibe for fun lately. just really being confusing with it#and i think this fic will be a hard launch into my new era of self indulgence#also so far both prewritten chapters are around 1000 words which.#maybe they partly needed to be because of how i need to do setting building as fuck while also sticking with the prompts#but i think a big thing is i cannot physically shut the fuck up and i am worried about how that bodes for the rest of the month#but it’s been a couple years of this. the only way to survive a ladrien june is c’est la vie it the whole time and then it’s fine#im gonna post a bigger sneak peek to my kofi tomorrow (may 31) so keep an eye out if interested!!#okay anyway that’s enough rambling. goodnight everybody happy ladrien june eve eve
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"i'm not disabled" followed immediately by "i've got bad knees and a bad back" is certainly something to read 🤨 you know it doesn't have to be cripling for it to count, right...? it's not normal to be in pain after 15 minutes of standing. ableds can stand for, like, an hour at a time before they need to sit.
i know! i appreciate the concern, but i uh. dunno lol. genuinely i don't know. but i included the afaik ("i'm not disabled afaik" was the original phrase, though i'm not like mad at you for excluding it or anything) because i'm well aware that it's a possibility. it's hard to explain but there's a lot of little things that don't add up to much but are like. noticeable. like i would prefer to do most things sitting, if i could, as a matter of comfort. it would be easier for me. and walking isn't as bad as just standing. i've never been great at taking care of my body, and this has only gotten worse with time. it's hard for me to know what i should read as necessity and what i should read as preference, and how much weight to put on said preferences. like you said, i know it doesn't need to be "if i don't sit down i'm going to collapse" or anything, but where to draw that line between Definitely A Medical Thing That Affects Me More Than Other People and.. not that, i'm not sure. i kinda just thought i was a persistently slightly tired and low energy person, but it doesn't seem bad enough to be chronic fatigue, so...? is it related to the half-diagnosed. idk it's complicated depression (and yes in hindsight i probably should've counted that as disabling but whatever)? idk it's not a rabbit hole i've explored much at all is my point. but i know it's there and uh i guess this was sort of validating in a way anon so.. yeah? yeah👍
#also in reference to the pain after 15 mins of standing thing it's.. usually closer to discomfort than pain? but it's not Not pain either#it's often more like 'oh i should sit down. i wanna sit down. i should sit down' and it's not that frequent but it's like a status effect#and the frequent reminders are only after like 20-30 minutes#sometimes i don't even notice it and sometimes (if i'm bored lol) i'll notice it a Lot#this is not helped by my body being.. iffy at telling me what's going on. it's always too much or too little input with this guy#ahh that rascal. anyway#listen anon 1) uh sorry for going off like this idk if that's like. socially appropriate or whatever but i'm doing it anyway 2) if you've#got ideas i'm all ears. like off the top of your head not like. im not asking you to do research for an internet stranger ok#plus it feels weird saying i could be disabled when i have no idea what it would even be. i mean i think i'd believe someone else if they#said that but it's a classic rules for me and not for thee situation. still working on that#point is i got brain gunk for sure i just don't know how much of the body gunk is because of the brain gunk or smth else#like the possibly-probably autism definitely affects me physically i just don't know exactly what to do with that information#like. am i exhausted bc i'm overstimulated? is it the burn out? or is that a separate thing? or are they working together? etc#anyway yeah got caught vagueposting about my symptoms here's the deep dive no one wanted. for self indulgence purposes :v#no but i think about it a lot with posts like this bc i mean. would an able bodied person react THAT strongly to finding out shower stools#exist? probably not. but who knows for certain#....coming to the conclusion of. probably. maybe. but in what ways specifically? uh. i dunno. i just got them heavy limbs#might be a thyroid issue now that im looking into it. but again this is Not my area of expertise
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also i think that after seeing that Something is going out with his eichisama tori should also sneak into town to go and see what's the deal with this wataru guy. and he inevitably gets lost but meets hajime and they have a bonding moment barbie movie-style and him and tomoya help tori meet wataru. and then wataru sees tomoya and goes "oho! interesting child!" which once again leads to eichi unreasonable jealousy against this poor random kid
Okay so I've been thinking on this and I've been trying to get something coherent and bear with me right right.
(this got so long again I just started going into detail and detail and detail and oh god I am so sorry)
So Tori, poor, innocent Tori, has to come to terms with the fact that Eichi is hiding something from him (that "Something" being a tall blue-haired extra of unknown origin) and he knows that, technically, the mature thing would be to leave it alone. Eichi will have his reasons for being a little secretive about it. He has his own life and if he doesn't want to be open about...whatever it is that seems to be going on there.... then he doesn't have to be because the man has a right to privacy.
Tori knows that. But Tori also knows that being mature doesn't matter if, technically, his beloved Eichi-sama could be at risk of giving his heart away to a scoundrel that only wishes to play with him until he's bored and then throws him away, breaking Eichis heart in the process. We couldn't have that! And what if he's a criminal? Can you really trust someone who snoops around on other peoples property without their knowing? No you can't! So really it's only natural Tori wants to know what that guys deal is. Out of a genuine concern for his friend. Of course.
And so obviously it's a completely acceptable and normal and rational decision when he sees that Yuzuru isn't there for a moment to keep watch over him like the guard dog that he is (really Tori isn't a child anymore there's no need to be so overprotective) and the other staff members also don't seem to be around and Eichi is also nowhere to be seen, that he decides to take his coat and pack his little bag with some money (read: more money than just "some" money) and tries to sneak out of the house and down the path across the small meadow and the bit of forest that separates their not-so-humble abode from the small town where the other people live.
His inital plan simple. Go there; ask around a little, maybe try some tailing (after hearing stories from the other aristocrats about how one is able to hire people to follow their spouses around without them noticing - and that apparently being an actual thing people earn their money with - he's decided that it can't be that hard and he should try his luck.) and then leaving as quickly as possible, lest Yuzuru die of a heart attack after finding out Tori dissappeared. It would be quick and easy and nobody would ever find out. That was the original plan. But Tori very soon comes to find that that could prove harder than he thought when he notices he actually really really enjoys the feeling of not having anyone hover over him like some sort of falcon watching their prey.
The little river running by the path through the meadow is still frozen (It is winter after all) and the snow on the ground almost reaches his ankles. The 15 minute walk takes him 30 because he keeps jumping around in the snow (He's made three snow angels by now. For a second he has to think of his sister and of how nice it would be if she were here with him too and how they could make snow angels together were it not for her having to stay with their parents, but he pushes that thought to the back of his head again and decides to move on with his way).
When he eventually arrives at the town - and after just wandering aimlessly through the rather empty streets - there are three major epiphanies.
The first one is that he doesn't have a clear destination. He has no idea where to look for the blue-haired weirdo. The second is that, seeing as it is a forenoon in january, most people probably aren't spending their time outside. And if they are then they are at a different place than where he is. And the third and final one: He is completely and utterly lost.
It should be regarded as an accomplishment really. Getting lost in a town with a population of barely 300 locals living there. Indeed Tori would think it impossible. Yet here he is. If anything he's sure he's at least the only one who can claim this feat for himself. This is fine. He has this under control. If he just keeps walking then he's sure to come out somewhere (No there are no tears in his eyes anyone who says otherwise is just imagining things (he decidedly ignores the little voice in his head that tells him "Who's gonna say otherwise. Look around yourself, have you forgotten that you're all alone here?")). So the big brave boy that he is he marches onward, ignoring the way his fingers have started to feel numb from the cold and his eyes have not stopped watering and the little voice in the back of his head that tells him he should've just listened to Yuzuru (He banishes that one to the deepest depths of his subconscious very quickly. There are blows that his pride can take in these situations and then there's having to agree with "You should've just listened to Yuzuru". If There is one thing that can be said about Tori then it's that he is not one to simply give up. He has come this far and he'll be damed if he backs out now).
Lost in thought and not paying much attention to his surroundings (he has more important things to think about right now), he only manages to register a flash of blue in his peripheral vision. And because this could be what he's come here for in the first place but more importantly because this is a person and that is where the bar is set, Tori immediately tries to follow them. If Lady Luck is especially nice to him this time she lets this person be the mysterious stranger he's been looking for, but what feels like a day of walking through empty streets in the biting cold of a noon in late january have humbled him enough to not push it with his luck.
And when he turns the corner, calling out for the figure to wait, insted of the strange man he was expecting he comes face-to-face with a meekish looking boy with blue hair and big violet eyes and next to him there's a second boy, this one able to be described in all aspects with only one word: average. And for a solid ten seconds they all just stare at each other.
Tori doesn't really know how, he really has no idea, but somehow he ended up following the two home. Or, well, more or less. Following isn't really the right word here. After their almost-staring-competition on the street the meekish looking one with the blue hair asked him if he was alright because "he seemed lost" (he absolutely did not.) which then prompted an entire series of events that ended is Tori sitting in this strangers families home - with an entirely different stranger also there - getting a serving of what he assumes to be radish soup. Tori feels a little sorry for the boy, Tomoya, as he said his name was, who seemed like he was previously engaged in a conversation with the other boy, who later introduced himself as Hajime and who had spent the entire way asking him questions about how he ended up here and what someone like him was doing all alone in a sleepy village neighbourhood like theirs and if he really didn't need a tissue (He hadn't cried while explaining how he was lost. He totally hadn't) and on and on and on as Tomoya had to awkwardly walk behind them.
So now, sitting at this table with these two people who he has only met today and who have given him a bowl of soup to warm himself up with, he has to tell everything about how he ended up in this situation in the first place. At the end of his recollection of this oh so wonderful day he is met with two pitying looks an a laugh - apparently one of Hajimes younger siblings had joined them at their little impromptu gathering (he wonders, distantly, how his own sister is doing right now).
And as he's about to say that he should probably make his way home and resume his mission another time when he has a map, Hajime mentions that he actually knows the guy Tori is talking about and that he lives at the local inn and that that isn't that far from them and that he and Tomoya can walk him there if he wants to. Tori agrees immediately. He is so over trying to be discreet about it at this point he really just wants some sort of success in this kind of ridiculous endeavour he's set out on.
So after the soup is finished and his limbs don't feel like they're about to fall off anymore the trio goes on their merry way and Tori feels a little silly because for all the walking around he did before they reach this inn really pretty quickly... maybe he should've thought to bring a map... The three of them venture further into the inn, and Tori only overhears Hajime talking to an older woman, but he's more occupied with looking around the place. It's father homely and rustic, a completely different atmosphere than at their place. There are noises from the few patrons sitting at the tables and chatting with each other, but it only add to the cozy feeling of the entire place.
When Hajime comes back he leads Tori up a little stairway and down a dimly lit hallway. They stop in front of a door at the very end of it (in my head there's a bit of a terasse thing happening there like. you can look down into the part where the tables are and such right right) and Tori barely has time to mentally prepare for the fact that this really is happening now before Hajime knocks and the sound of muffled steps approaching the door can be heard.
When the door finally opens (it's been a few seconds at best but it feels like an eternity), Tori is greeted by the lovely view of a pair of pale clavicles, barely covered by a black linen blouse. He has to actively look up to look at the face of their owner and when he is met with a pair of sharp, purple eyes he feels like his throat just sew itself shut. Hajime explains to Wataru that Tori was looking for him and suddenly a light seems to go up above Watarus head as a look of recognition flashes over his face and he turns around to Tori again and asks him if he's "the princess that Eichi's been telling him all about". Tori is confused. Hajime decides that this is his cue to leave and he slowly backs away to go back down and collect Tomoya, who's been roped into helping out with the catering by some elder gentleman (Wataru watches Hajime as he collects Tomoya and they leave, intrigued by this strangely average boy, as Tori just stares in horror as the realisation dawns upon him that he is now completely alone with this man whom he didn't even intend on speaking to in the first place).
So now he is here. In this very awkward situation. Sitting on a chair in this strangers room (for the second time today! Did he ever have a day this eventful? Who knows! Tori for sure doesn't.). He wants to talk, but Wataru is faster and asks him what he's doing here. Tori doesn't really know how to reply. How do you talk your way around having to tell someone that you actually got lost on the way to spy on them. That's right. You can't. Well, Eichi could. But Tori is Tori and he never wished for that to change more than he did now.
He looks out of the window and it is at that moment that another three major epiphanies reach him. Firstly that he doesn't know what to do now that he's here, secondly that he's going to get murdered by Yuzuru (and if worst comes to worst also Eichi) once he gets back because he's been gone all day without telling anyone and they're probably all worried sick, and last but not least: it is dark outside. He can't go home like that. He is virtually stuck in this predicament he found himself in.
Wataru seems to have a similar thought, because the immediate follow up question after not really getting a coherent answer from Tori is if anyone knows he's gone. Tori shakes his head. If Tsukasa ever finds out about this mess of a situation he will have to die because he would never let Tori live that down.
He gets ripped out of his incoming spiral by the bird that takes a seat on his head and Watarus over-the-top contemplative sigh and the slight lilt in his voice when he voices the next issue that's in the room. He isn't even speaking to Tori anymore, but to his bird that sits on Toris head, Jeanne, and Tori is starting to get annoyed by the way he jokes about this entire thing, calling Tori a "a little bird that escaped its nest", as if he isn't stuck having to prepare for his untimely demise. And by the way this guy hasn't put down his cryptic smile and teasing voice ever since he entered the room. When he thinks things can't get any more awkward for him Wataru proposes two options. Either he walks him home, or Tori has to stay at the inn for the night and he brings him back in the morning. Tori decides he'd rather go back home sooner than later (he'll have to take the lacture either way and he's probably caused everyone enough worries by now anyways. And also he misses his bed.). So Wataru grabs his coat, quickly goes to tell the inn-keepers he's "bringing retuening the princess to ger people" (Tori doesn't know if he liked the bird comparison better or not).
The way back is still very tense because Tori does not dare to walk next to Wataru (he's sketchy it's not Toris fault it's a normal reaction) and so he just awkwardly walks behind him, He doesn't really watch his surroundings - it is dark and the only nice thing is that it's snowing and there are animal sounds and they are spooky and he needs to watch the way and it's easier to think that way - until suddenly he gets hit by a snowball right in the head. And he is so baffled by this that he just stares at Wataru, and Wataru grins at him with his stupid stupid grin and somehow they end up in a snowball fight on this meadow where the only reason you can see anything is because of the snow and when they finally arrive at the mansion they both have so much snow in their hair and their clothes are wet from the melted snow and when they knock on the door and wait for someone to open Wataru gets some of the snow out of Toris hair and says that that snowball fight can be their little shared secret and Tori grins back at him and agrees and when the door opens and both of them are frantically ushered in by a maid that tells another one to get Yuzuru and Eichi Tori decides that maybe this guy isn'r so bad after all. Maybe he's actually quite nice.
#And then Yuzuru scolds both of them#but that's alright because Tori had a very adventurous day#Wataru stays over over the night again because Eichi doesn't let him leave in “this kind of weather” (it's a very mild little snowstorm)#the entire time I was just imagining the backside of that coin with Yuzruru and Eichi realising Tori is missing and all hell breaking loose#it's a little funny to me idk#this was very Tori centric no Eichi in this story just Tori and Hajime and a little bit of Tomoya and Wataru#and I you can tell I was less. yanno. here because I only got really self indulgent with that ending#ALSO IT IS THREE AM THIS IS MY FINAL MESSAGE TO THE WORLD GOOD NIGHT#And this got so unbelievably long I have been sitting here for HOURS#Never let me write scenarios ever again it will go way ouf of hand and by the end I will have forgotten how to english#and it will show#and I will accidentally write an actual fleshed out silly little scenatio instead of just a long post#also I think this is the longest as of yet how did I do this#do you know how hard it is to describle Hibiki Wataru without sounding like the gayest person on the planet?#this was easier when it was about Wataei and I could just wax poetically about him#I don't even care I'm just looking forward to going to sleep right now#this could've been better but I'm not a fanfic author for a reason#namely because I'm bad at it#bard/noble au
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hey there <3
im kind of unsure what to post on here, for sure ill post / reblog selfship content thats what this blogs made for but i also just dont have anything to post about it atm
so if theres any ideas yall have so i can still be active pls tell me
be it ocs or just silly lore or whatever please tell me because idk what to do rn
#seriously i have no idea what to post on here#i just dont want to be ia again </3#i was at some point going to post some of the normal self-indulgent positivity but it just didnt feel genuine#sighs </3#kaden txts
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hi 3wd. i’ve tried to write before and i’ve never gotten far in the process, despite having many ideas im enthusiastic about. all your blogging about being a planner-writer has got me thinking i might have the same style of writing as you l- and a lot of the reason im struggling to put words on paper is because i don’t have a direction or fleshed out emotional/plot beats to write towards. what would be your advice to any fledgling planner-writers that don’t know where to start? how did you start writing with this writing style?
Hey nonnie 💜
It can be super frustrating to have a bunch of pieces you want to play with but not have them come together in a way that maintains traction. Outlining could definitely be a potential tool to help sustain momentum, so let’s see if I can get some gears turning for you.
For me personally, the outline-approach is one I just sort of fell into naturally. Part of it comes from my school days; we were encouraged to write dot-point plans to structure our arguments/ research/ storytelling for assignments ahead of drafting (some teachers even counted evidence of it towards the final grade), which set it as a habit early. Fun fact: I actually outlined this answer before writing it; I do it for most long posts. Another part of it is that I tend to come at writing from a very analytical angle - there’s a degree to which I try to solve or understand stories as I consume them. One of my earliest casual jobs was working as an English/Lit tutor for high-schoolers. I find a lot of joy in picking narratives apart, figuring out how they work and finding ones that hold up through several layers of examination, so as a writer I like to construct stories that way.
Part of it is also that, when I want to write something for release, I’m conscious of the fact that it will have an audience. A question that hangs around in the back of my mind is “if I found this story and wasn’t the writer, would I enjoy reading it?”
There’s another aspect that has to do with respect, in a way. I love the worlds and the characters that I use in my stories, and for me that means writing things that feel true to their spirit, giving significance to the times when that changes and making sure they have a meaningful journey (even if it’s not a happy one).
For me outlining suits this ethos, since having a map of future directions makes it easier to place foreshadowing fairly, identify themes, build character arcs and keep explanations/ lore consistent.
I’m also going to admit that I just got lucky with Deathly Weapons. There was a very specific emotional idea that I wanted to centre a story around, and the inspiration happened to come with both a starting premise and a concept for the ending. Then I also had wish-lists; some tropes I wanted to play with, and some existing series whose storytelling structure I wanted to emulate and pay homage to. Something I realised a few years after starting DW is that I’m a very project-and-output-oriented person. In a way, Deathly Weapons’ came to me as a project brief where I already knew the end-goal and a lot of what I wanted to work towards.
With that said, let’s talk outlining:
The value of having a plan
To me, an outline is a bit like having an itinerary for a road-trip. It gives you an idea of where you’re going, how long things will take, what key things you want to do, how much it might cost and it helps you anticipate potential problems. But, like an outline, an itinerary isn’t binding. There might be some things that take more effort to change (distance to travel, bookings you need to cancel/ reschedule/ extend - key plot points that a story hinges around or that need more preparation/ payoff to be effective) but you can adjust as you go; take extra time to explore an interesting spot, add a detour based on local recommendations, skip things that turn out to be less compelling than they first seemed, take a shorter route to get to a key destination faster, extend the trip to see a few more sights or decide to cut things short because something came up. The itinerary gives you the security of already knowing where you’re headed, letting you put down the mental burden of having to work out each stop as you go and enjoy the moment more.
Ways an outline can help:
Reassurance: if you have a tendency to be anxious/ self-critical/ have high standards about characterisation, plot holes etc. then an outline can be a good way to workshop the story and get ahead of potential challenges, as well as to concept-test whether this is a project you feel like committing to.
Scoping: blocking out an overview can help you get an idea of the size and complexity of the project, and how much time/resources/teamwork it might need.
Motivation: having a plan of future story moments that you’re looking forward to can provide a goal to help you push through the less exciting parts (e.g. connective scenes) and/or help you re-find your enthusiasm if you’re returning from a break or are feeling creatively flat for reasons outside the story itself.
Iteration: if you tend to come up with stories primarily by exploring and assembling ideas, then an outline method can be a way to quickly put a concept on paper, examine it and then decide if/how you want to use it, without the restriction of needing to write it all out as polished paragraphs first.
Splitting up the steps: useful if you tend to think faster than you can type full sentences, find that you move between ideas non-sequentially or if prose-writing/ sentence construction is something that takes a lot of mental energy or stop-and-starting from you. An outline can be a way to separate the processes of story crafting and story telling into more-distinct stages rather than trying to juggle both at once. Find the story first, then write it.
Non-sequential writing: having a roadmap of your story’s structure and direction can give you more freedom in how you choose to approach it, letting you jump ahead to work on planned future sections/scenes where the inspiration is flowing rather than waiting for the next scene to “come to you”.
For a more direct comparison, Screenwriting Bibles are a form of outline for professional TV/Film production. These “bibles” are key reference documents used by writers for information on the premise, characters, settings and other project elements, as well as to plan future episodes and seasonal arcs. (This podcast transcript, article and template are good starting sources if you want to learn more about TV Bibles.)
Much like a series bible, an outline can help you keep tabs on:
Consistency and continuity: this can be minor stuff like names of background characters or small details (running gags, item descriptions, character trivia) but can also be major stuff like character motivations, who has what abilities, event timelines or story-themes.
Direction: your outline can capture the overall arc(s) and conflict source(s) of your story and their intended resolutions, as well as mapping out how those conflicts are progressing.
Causality: whether planned events and character choices feel consistent and reasonable within the internal logic of your story.
If any of this sounded helpful to you then you might benefit from experimenting with an outliner/ planner approach. There are a bunch of different planner techiques (here’s a link for some) as well as hybrid “plan-tser” methods that you could try. But for now let's talk about the general process, starting with a focus question:
What is it that makes you want to tell this story?
This might seem like a daunting place to begin but it can help with figuring out the core of your story and what you find compelling.
It’s okay if you don’t have a neat-and-clean answer straight away. Sometimes inspiration just strikes out of the blue, and that’s fine. Sometimes you have a vague directional pull but you’ll need to do some story-work before you can identify what’s calling to you. However, if you did have a specific itch or passion that drove you to write then thinking about what and why that is can help you understand what you want from the story – and in turn what might connect with other people.
I also want to be clear that this is not about judging your motivations or their “artistic merit”. I had a specific story to tell is fine, as is I wanted to explore this concept/theme/emotion/issue, or this was a gift/commission for someone else, and so is I wanted to try writing a specific genre, or I wanted to experiment with a specific medium, or I wanted to do my own version of [existing idea] or I am fascinated by this character/relationship/world or I needed some vicarious catharsis, or I was horny. And a whole bunch of other things.
Knowing what you’re trying to get out of a story can help you decide what type of story you want to tell, as well as the overall scope and what medium/format/genre to tell it in. Maybe it’s a single-scene character/aesthetic study, or a one-shot vignette. Maybe it’s one long story, or it could be series of connected stories, or it could be a story-anthology centring on a common idea. Maybe this story would work well as a comic, or art piece(s), or podcast, video, or something interactive like a choose-your-own-adventure or a videogame.
Understanding where you’re coming from can also help you answer the questions of what is your story about? and what happens in your story? which are related but not the same.
What is your story about concerns the themes and thesis of your story, which can help you figure out the story’s tone, main emotional or thematic conflict(s), and how you want them to resolve by the ending. Put simply, it’s the message.
What happens in your story is the synopsis of planned events, character actions, worldbuilding and other content. Put simply, it’s the stuff your story has in it.
Let’s take my Deathly Weapons fanfic as a case study:
What made me want to write this story? Deathly Weapons started with me being unsatisfied with what felt like a gap in the Danny Phantom x Superheroes crossover fanfic space at the time. There was a trend where stories would kill Danny’s friends and family to justify placing him with the crossover’s other hero team but very few of those stories felt like they acknowledged the emotional consequences of doing so; the ones that allowed him to grieve frequently using it for nonspecific angst about Loss™ or mourning the generic archetypes of A Love Interest™, A Sister™, Parents™ or A Best Friend™ rather than the specific characters and bonds from the series. There were also some smaller itches around plot construction and mysteries that I couldn’t find many stories to scratch. I wanted to try writing something to fill those gaps. What is this story about? Thematically Deathly Weapon’s central emotional arc is about grief and healing: in particular the uniqueness of the bonds between people and how grief reflects the specific hole each individual leaves behind, as well as the process of finding closure, making new connections and moving forward in the aftermath of loss. What happens in this story? A lot. In my youthful hubris and overambition I planned out basically a half-season of a TV show. For the sake of not dragging this section out by a mile, here’s an arc/mission plot teaser list I made a little while ago.
Since Deathly Weapons Arc II is deliberately structured to emulate a TV show, you can sort of see how that summary has accidentally ended up mirroring parts of a top-down Pitch Deck. But, of course, that’s not the outline I actually use when writing.
Different levels and types of outline
Like a lot of creative terms, “outlining” covers a pretty broad umbrella’s worth of stuff.
Methods-wise there are plenty of different approaches: from specific story-writing software (Scrivener, Campfire etc.), to word documents, to binders and notebooks, to honest-to-goodness sticky-notes, thumbtacks and string. Personally I alternate between a documents folder on my computer and a physical notepad/sketchpad for when I’m on the go, but you should pick whatever format feels most comfortable for how you process/visualise information.
Functionally, I think it helps to conceptualise three main levels of outline: Brainstorming, Structural and Detail. To be clear, you don’t have to do all three. A short story or one-shot might be served by writing directly from a brainstorming or light structural outline. You also don’t have to keep them strictly separate. A brainstorming document might cover some early structure notes or test paragraphs. A structural or detailed outline might have some brainstorming or research sections as you uncover and solve smaller questions. Heck, you can have detail notes inside your initial drafts if they help you keep the story flowing. These are tools you can use, not prescriptions you need to follow.
Let’s talk about the levels:
Brainstorming
Brainstorming is the least structured. Like the name suggests it’s mostly about getting concepts down and coming up with ideas – this could include early notes for plots beats/ scenes/ character interactions, sketches, screenshots/quotes and possibly research questions for stuff you want to confirm or find out about (e.g. checking source material, or researching systems and potential setting-locations). You could consider this like early research notes for a class essay – where you know what your subject is and might start with some initial thoughts or focus questions but are still learning and figuring out the broad strokes of your content and stance.
Despite that comparison, brainstorming is probably the most creatively fun step in the process. This is not where you worry about things like “quality”, “cohesiveness”, “accuracy/canon compliance” or “cliches” – this is the time for rolling with whatever inspiration strikes you, pouring out any idea you find interested/compelling/cathartic, asking questions, going down internet rabbit holes and generally just enjoying unabashed creation. This is your raw material: you’re going to cut and shape it later.
Structural
Structural outlines probably have them most utility in giving your story shape and form, especially if your story is long or has a lot of components. If you were doing an essay, this is the part where you’d figure out your thesis and start grouping each main argument and its supporting points into planned body paragraphs. For a story, this is where you start sorting your ideas and putting them in order; deciding on your arcs, conflicts and resolutions, working out the order and causality of events, your character motivations and dynamics, where to place key foreshadowing, major scenes and the like. This is the level where you’re going to try and solve potential story problems – to come up with in-universe explanations and identify possible plot-holes before you write yourself into them. You’ll likely do extra brainstorming or research in this phase too but it’ll be more targeted – aimed at filling gaps, connecting dots or serving specific needs.
For longer or more complex stories you might have multiple structural outlines tracking different levels of granularity; some providing an overview of the whole story/ series arc, while other focus on specific characters/ subplots or break things down into individual plot beats and scenes. You might also spin some of your initial brainstorming into reference or meta documents – content that you aren’t going to directly cover in-story but that will inform or add depth/consistency to other elements. If you enjoy puzzle-solving then this can be a very satisfying part of the process: there’s nothing quite like hiding a subtle piece of symbolism/foreshadowing, coming up with a sneaky red-herring or finding a rock-solid explanation to make you feel extremely clever.
It’s also worth repeating that you are not beholden to whatever structural outlines you first come up with – your outlines can and should evolve with you as you develop your story and come up with new or alternate ideas. (Just last year I re-ordered two major subplots and added an extra character arc for Deathly Weapons).
Some stuff to think about for structural outlining:
Remember that, as the storyteller you have full control of the narrative and what happens inside it. Like I said at the start of my case study on YJ: Invasion’s writing, even the rules of a fiction piece are made up: there is nothing physically stopping you from making the sky be a different colour every five minutes if you felt like it. If you want something to happen then you can work backwards to reverse-engineer a specific scenario where those things would reasonably occur. Start at Scene B and figure out what needs to happen to get there from Established Starting Point A. If you need a character to act a certain way, then you can tailor a situation to trigger that response based on their established personality/ insecurities/ flaws. You can manufacture specific story problems whose solutions play toward or against the skills and abilities of different characters, or create scenarios which situationally discourage characters from using skills/abilities/tools that might otherwise be overpowered. You can also make the call to deviate from what has been established in order to facilitate a scene or plot point - temporarily imposing a trait for narrative purposes (sometimes referred to as carrying a ball) or Rules Lawyering your worldbuilding to create a technical loophole. This risk here is that this can feel artificial, jarring or unfair if not reasonably justified within the story logic. There’s also a limit on how often/ how far you can push this before it risks breaking the story. If things start to contradict or situations arbitrarily turn on a dime then your audience can lose trust that the characters and world will follow the expectations set by the narrative – they can start to feel narratively unsafe, until it reaches a point where the only way for them to reconcile the dissonance and inconsistencies in the story is to acknowledge that it’s all an artificial construct being externally steered by the hand of the author. You can do whatever you want… provided you do the work to make audience to believe it.
That being said, try not go get too wedded to the specifics of your early ideas. Sometimes an element is just not going to fit with the direction your story ends up taking; whether because it’s not compatible with the eventual trajectory of the characters/events/lore or simply because it would be hard to include without disrupting/diverting/distracting from the flow of the story at that point. In some instances you can take the core of an idea and modify it to find a new place in the narrative; for example by repurposing a scene or piece of dialogue, repackaging information, rescheduling a conversation, fusing concepts together or deconstructing them and integrating the component parts across other scenes. But in other cases you may decide that the potential problems (whether structural or narrative) introduced by including an element outweigh the value it could add – in which case it’s time to lovingly set it aside. This is what they mean when they say kill your darlings. Having a designated document for future story ideas and/or outtakes can help with this (or you could do what I did with Defining Moment and turn an idea into its own side-story).
This can be also a good place to consider more technical story elements, like pacing. Think about the peaks and valleys of intensity (suspense, intrigue, action, character drama etc.) across the beats of your story; where you might want to ramp things up or down, and how you might use scene and/or chapter breaks to space out information, create breathing room or hold the audience at a certain level of emotion/anticipation. (For a good short primer, try these videos about Pacing and Tension Cycles in games).
You may also like to use the structure overview as an opportunity to take stock of Tropes and Patterns. Not to avoid them – you can’t really avoid tropes – but just to see if any are showing up and what they might be saying, even if you didn’t intend for that to happen. (For a topical example: consider what tropes are showing up around different minority/minority-analogous characters - either in their depictions or how the story treats them - and what message that might be sending. There’s a lot of bias to the way certain groups and issues have historically been portrayed in media, some of which have baked themselves into now-common stock plots and archetypes. That isn’t to say you should never use them; just be conscious and careful, especially if your story intends to make some sort of commentary on those topics.) On a more positive note, this can be another way to learn about what story mechanics you like, both in your own writing and others’.
Detail
Detail notes are the most granular level of outlining, getting down into the specifics of an individual scene or conversation. These are the least strictly necessary – depending on the length/ complexity of your story, the granularity of your structural outline(s) and your personal writing preference, you may prefer to jump directly from a structural outline into a first draft. That said they can still be useful, especially if you want to hammer out the fine details of action, dialogue or information-flow while staying a step back from specific prose. This is where you get things like a bullet-point breakdown of each line/action/piece of narration (for when you have a detailed idea of what’s going to be said/done but not the specific words to describe it) or script-style notes (for when you have the character voices and lines but not the narration or action surrounding it). As mentioned earlier, you can blend detail notes and rough drafting together – writing some sections out in prose as the words come to you, then breaking into note-form to keep the ideas flowing in sections where wording might be starting to stick.
An example
Let’s look at my outlining system for Deathly Weapons:
Now, I want to make it clear: this is not the standard. This is not even the standard for me. Deathly Weapons got a bit out of hand, ballooning into a half-season of a TV show: it’s more a series of 12+ self-contained stories in a trench coat than your standard fanfiction. However, it is a decent example of complex outlining. I have multiple levels of structural outline – some covering the entire story arc, some covering the individual missions. I also have quick-notes that I made as a consistency-reference from canon, and some worldbuilding meta I did as a thought exercise to develop one of the character-backstories (the one shown ended up published here on Tumblr). You can see how I blend the outline types together in my detailed notes, as well as how my approach to outlines has evolved from more brainstorming-focused to more structurally-focussed as the story has solidified. Again, this is not the standard, but hopefully it gives you an idea of what you can get up to with outlines for a complex long-term project.
Okay, so that’s the basic breakdown of outlining as a process (at least the version I use). Hopefully it’s got some gears turning.
However, I also know that it’s more of a framework through which to approach story-building; it’s an organisational tool that helps you set out current and future-planned content in a way that lets you take stock, identify things that need attention and keep track of important details. On its own it’s not necessarily going to be able to help address the challenges it reveals; in the same way that knowing how to plan an essay won’t necessarily teach you how to research one effectively.
In Part 2 of this series (yep it's a series now) I'm going to go over some concepts for story-building and editing that might help you during the structural phase. Click here to go to the next part >>
#Writing advice#Outlining#Planner writing#Story planning#Stories#Post Series: Outlining Tips#this was originally meant to be one post but then Tumblr decided it was too long so here we go#Sorry this took ages for me to answer nonnie#I moved cities again and the burnout after last year whacked me very hard. Brain go (half-hearted raspberry noise)#Hopefully there’s enough stuff in here to make up for the wait#It might amuse you to know that I did 3 different outlines trying to figure out what would be useful#Learn from my example but maybe don’t try to follow it#Outlines Divided (who lives in a state of derangement and writes over 10000 words of background notes per paragraph)#is an outlier and should not have been counted#There’s a lot of talk about DW in here. How very self-indulgent telling you all about me. me. me.#(It’s mostly because I’m the creator in its case so I can talk about the processes used to make it without making guesses)#Anonymous#3WD#3WD Answers
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#he's good at his job! #crozier likes him! crozier chose him! #and any enabling of crozier happens because he lives and works in one of the most strictly hierarchical systems to ever exist #where dissidence can be a hanging offence! #and he's so! fucking! angry! about it #also having to deal with a spirit bear on top of everything #that makes you question the very fabric of the assumptions you once had about the world #also his cabin door is stuck!! #we talk a lot about jopson finally snapping and beginning to bite and kick #i really think he should invite edward to the inevitable breakdown - @maedhrus
listen i don't think edward little was actually a bad first lieutenant. when we see him in the first episode he's calm and confident. he does not say much but he's amiable enough. crozier likes him, and i don't think crozier would like anyone he doesn't think capable in some way. generally he's dependable and knows what he's doing. however unfortunately for edward he has these qualities because he has a major case of eldest daughter syndrome, which means he both wants to please his mum (crozier) and has an overdeveloped sense of responsibility for his younger siblings (crew), so when they get stuck in the ice and crozier starts going (more) alcoholic, he enables his mum bc he doesn't want to disappoint her even if he doesn't agree with her, and he has to pick up the tasks and care for his siblings she's not doing, but he can't let his siblings know about their mum's situation because they'll get worried and restless. and like a true eldest daughter he has to bear the brunt of mummy's anger for being a disappointment but he also doesn't want to seek refuge with the man she divorced (fitzjames) because that feels like a betrayal. also while this is going on there is a giant bear who hunts his siblings for sport so they're dying left and right and also a changeling master manipulator who's making his siblings mad at their mum and who wants to fuck said mum before eating her like some sort of praying mantis. anyway i think i would start being miserable and anxious too.
#the terror#edward little#helen just so you know i am in love with the way you tag these kinds of posts and i need everyone else to see how good your takes are#also curry; just your post in general; like-- YES. FINALLY. SOMEONE SAID IT. SAY IT LOUDER. SHOUT IT FROM THE FUKCING ROOFTOPS#i can and will die on the hill that ned little - the actual lt. little of the show - is as far removed from the sad wet doormat of a man#that fanon likes to portray him as; as humanly possible#the closest correlation between fanon!ned and actual canon!ned is his prolonged misery and level of worry-induced distress#he's more than competent - we see it time and again throughout the first half of the show#but the biggest indication of this is crozier himself handing little his pistol when he goes into self-imposed rehab#HE WOULDN'T DO THAT IF HE DIDN'T THINK EDWARD WAS CAPABLE OF HANDLING THE SITUATION.#crozier's not a man to mince words or spare feelings - if he thought little unequal to the task he would've handed his pistol to fitzjames#instead; but no. he chooses edward precisely bc he knows edward is loyal and steadfast and capable of doing what needs to be done#edward is the one who falters in that scene; not bc he's too overwhelmed to cope but because he knows exactly what is at stake if#anything goes wrong during crozier's convalescence; the lives of a hundred+ men turning on a dime should crozier not survive his withdrawal#and he's not wrong to feel daunted by the task! it's an immense amount of responsibility -#one crozier himself bowed and buckled under the second leadership of the expedition was thrust upon him! it's a terrifying situation;#but edward still steps up and in the wake of francis's seclusion; for once; things actually go somewhat smoothly!#the men are faring better without the black cloud of crozier's alcoholism and negativity hanging over them like a shroud;#he's gotten fitzjames off his back for the most part; other than for carnivale. and even here we see edward's diligence and commitment#to his position as first lieutenant of the expedition bc he's the one questioning using vital supplies for a party! he's the one#who agrees that the men need the distraction; but worries if they can afford to foot the bill later;#when things will be more difficult! that is the kind of mindset francis himself displays at the beginning#of the show when he's questioning sir john's decision to press forward despite every sign imaginable telling them not to!#EDWARD WORRIES FOR THE MEN THE SAME WAY CROZIER DOES#what trips him up; what ends up driving a wedge between him and crozier; what causes little to fuck up the armory situation; is this:#crozier himself. bc francis was a mean drunk. and while in his cups he treated little as no better than a ship's boy; running menial errand#and very literally risking life and limb to indulge the vices of a man who treats him with open contempt (and let's be clear;#that man isn't the captain edward has come to know and respect since they set out from greenhithe - no; that is a stranger wearing#his captain's face; making choices that leave edward feeling frustrated and helpless and enraged)#what crozier's belittling of little's station and rank does during this time is make him deeply insecure of his own purpose and competence;
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I've been thinking a lot lately about how Kabru deprives himself.
Kabru as a character is intertwined with the idea that sometimes we have to sacrifice the needs of the few for the good of the many. He ultimately subverts this first by sabotaging the Canaries and then by letting Laios go, but in practice he's already been living a life of self-sacrifice.
Saving people, and learning the secrets of the dungeons to seal them, are what's important. Not his own comforts. Not his own desires. He forces them down until he doesn't know they're there, until one of them has to come spilling out during the confession in chapter 76.
Specifically, I think it's very significant, in a story about food and all that it entails, that Kabru is rarely shown eating. He's the deuteragonist of Dungeon Meshi, the cooking manga, but while meals are the anchoring points of Laios's journey, given loving focus, for Kabru, they're ... not.
I'm sure he eats during dungeon expeditions, in the routine way that adventurers must when they sit down to camp. But on the surface, you get the idea that Kabru spends most of his time doing his self-assigned dungeon-related tasks: meeting with people, studying them, putting together that evidence board, researching the dungeon, god knows what else. Feeding himself is secondary.
He's introduced during a meal, eating at a restaurant, just to set up the contrast between his party and Laios's. And it's the last normal meal we see him eating until the communal ending feast (if you consider Falin's dragon parts normal).
First, we get this:
Kabru's response here is such a non-answer, it strongly implies to me that he wasn't thinking about it until Rin brought it up. That he might not even be feeling the hunger signals that he logically knew he should.
They sit down to eat, but Kabru is never drawn reaching for food or eating it like the rest of his party. He only drinks.
It's possible this means nothing, that we can just assume he's putting food in his mouth off-panel, but again, this entire manga is about food. Cooking it, eating it, appreciating it, taking pleasure in it, grounding yourself in the necessary routine of it and affirming your right to live by consuming it. It's given such a huge focus.
We don't see him eat again until the harpy egg.
What a significant question for the protagonist to ask his foil in this story about eating! Aren't you hungry? Aren't you, Kabru?
He was revived only minutes ago after a violent encounter. And then he chokes down food that causes him further harm by triggering him, all because he's so determined to stay in Laios's good graces.
In his flashback, we see Milsiril trying to spoon-feed young Kabru cake that we know he doesn't like. He doesn't want to eat: he wants to be training.
Then with Mithrun, we see him eating the least-monstery monster food he can get his hands on, for the sake of survival- walking mushroom, barometz, an egg. The barometz is his first chance to make something like an a real meal, and he actually seems excited about it because he wants to replicate a lamb dish his mother used to make him!
...but he doesn't get to enjoy it like he wanted to.
Then, when all the Canaries are eating field rations ... Kabru still isn't shown eating. He's only shown giving food to Mithrun.
And of course the next time he eats is the bavarois, which for his sake is at least plant based ... but he still has to use a coping mechanism to get through it.
I don't think Kabru does this all on purpose. I think Kui does this all on purpose. Kabru's Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should be understood as informing his character just as much as Laios's autism informs his. It's another way that Kabru and Laios act as foils: where Laios takes pleasure in meals and approaches food with the excitement of discovery, Kabru's experiences with eating are tainted by his trauma. Laios indulges; Kabru denies himself. Laios is shown enjoying food, Kabru is shown struggling with it.
And I can very easily imagine a reason why Kabru might have a subconscious aversion towards eating.
Meals are the privilege of the living.
#Dungeon Meshi#Delicious in Dungeon#Kabru#Kabru of Utaya#Laios Touden#Dungeon Meshi meta#you can have him in the tags too. as a treat.#Dungeon Meshi spoilers#this was directly inspired by livelaughlaios's post about Kabru self harming but I decided it got too long to make it a direct reply#this is a theory I've been working on for weeks because I kept noticing this while skimming for screencaps#I'm hesitant to trigger tag this because of the way certain subcultures on tumblr operate#but if anyone needs me to add a content warning please let me know#also I included image descriptions! I did my best#I think they even help illustrate my points but my god were they sad to write. Kabru is so fucking sad you guys#musings with Dea
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