#here I go again with the self indulgent posts

[sevgilimsatoru]

Leaning on you

Summary: Sick reader x Caleb

Tags: Sick reader, Caleb x reader, fluff, kind of self indulgent

Word count: 700

Caleb has a new message for you!

I never hear you say, you miss me. Should I take this as a sign that you do?

Caleb is the type who gets stressed over your health more than you'd like. It's annoying, really.

But what can you do when he is so concerned over a little cold? Comforting and cooing at you like you are going to die or something.

He stood in infront of you in your living room, lecturing you for the third time about how you should stop being so careless and how important your health is.

"I'm fine, Caleb. It's just a cold." You said, sniffling. Your nose felt stuffy. Your body felt warm and just so tired. You didn't feel like doing anything. "You'll catch a cold too if you keep this up," you said, warning him to not get too close, too comfortable, but when did he ever listen to you?

"It's not fine. If you keep shrugging it off, you aren't going to get better, you know?" Caleb said, shifting to stand beside you. His hands holding your face gently, caressing your cheek with his fingers.

"Did you eat breakfast?" He asked, squishing your cheeks. A small smile graced his face. When you nodded in return, he gently picked you up, taking you to your room.

He gently lays you down on the bed, tucking you under the sheets, and moves to sit beside you. His warm hand sliding in your hair, massaging your skull.

That felt relaxing.

"If you catch a cold, don't blame me." You said, leaning into his touch. Hoping he won't ignore your words like he did before.

"I won't catch a cold because I know how to take care of myself, unlike you." Caleb replied, leaning down to kiss your forehead. "Do you feel hungry? I can make you some soup; it'll make you feel better."

"No, thanks. I just don't feel like eating right now." You said, tugging the sheets upwards to cover your mouth. Your nose was stuffy; you couldn't even breathe properly.

You hated this.

"That's okay… You don't have to force yourself. Just tell me whatever you want to eat when you feel like it. I'll make it for you, honey." Caleb replied, patting you on the head.

There was a comforting silence between you two. Until Caleb stood up and walked out of the room. He came back a minute later, a glass of water in his hands.

"Here, drink some. Your lips are dry; you keep forgetting to drink water." He said, gently helping you sit up and drink the water. When you were done, Caleb placed the glass on the bedside table.

"I'll let you rest, okay?" He said, turning back to walk out of the room. You sat up, grabbing his arm. Caleb stopped in his tracks, turning his head to look at you.

"Can you stay, please? Can… can we cuddle, just for a little bit?" You asked, looking up at him. You didn't want him to get sick, but you didn't want him to leave either.

"Of course, sweetie." Caleb said with a smile. Slowly, getting up on the bed. He lay down beside him, pulling the sheets over him. Tugging you close.

He was warm.

His chest was pressed against your back, one of his arms wrapped around your waist, and his cheek resting on your shoulder. He placed a kiss on your cheek, covering your hand with his own.

"I would love to cuddle properly, but I doubt you'd be able to breathe like that with your stuffy nose." He said, his legs tangled up with yours. "Such a pretty girl." He mused, placing chaste kisses on the skin of your neck and shoulder.

"It's fine; this is okay." You replied, a smile on your face. You could stay like this. You moved your head to press a small kiss on the back of his hand.

It felt good.

Comfortable.

He felt like home.

A/N: Hey everyone. I know I'm not posting as often, I really don't like doing that but I keep trying to re-write the spin off chapters that have already been done. I don't know why. Also, I got sick, again. So this was a really self indulgent drabble. The area around my ribs is suddenly hurting a lot and when it happened last time, I ended up in the hospital for like a week so yeah. But I'll be fine. Have a nice day and take care of yourself!!

Tag list: @browneyedgirl22 @aneertawrites @etsuniiru @demon-master-zero @angstylittleb1tch @mcdepressed290 @ittybittyfanblog @winwinwrites @alifyairl @huhleighna @calebsbeanpeeler @bookworrm1999 @mentaltrouble2201 @noxus123 @babyx91 @multisstuff @beomluvrr @sunnylittleapple @lunia-likes-pomegranet @imhere2dosomething @lostpsycho13 @april-likes-smut @calebsbabyapple @mephisto-with-a-knife @wooasecret @anatherone @asgardiancoffemaker @sadsaidthesadthing @beppybeesnuggets @lilacflower667 @mangooes @sunnyx07 @30jades

[motorsportbarbie13]

an update

i feel silly doing these bc on one hand i'm like 'eh who tf cares about what my plans are for writing the next few weeks/months' and on the other hand, i know i hate when authors go from writing consistently to radio silence so...idk. it feels self indulgent and a touch self centered.

but i digress

i'm tired guys. tired of pouring my entire creative soul into these fics and not seeing the engagement. i've whined and moaned about it enough so i'm sure you're like 'jfc shut tf up and get over yourself' (which i mean, fair lol). the thing is, i do write for the love of writing but i also don't want to waste my time if it's not well received. there is something so depressing about spending HOURS on a chapter and having it barely break 100 notes. i know it sounds entitled and it probably is but thats how i feel. its not anyones fault and i know my writing isn't going to be for everyone. it's just...frustrating to go from writing very well received/popular fics to...nothing.

i don't know what's changed that's effected my engagement so much but i've tried everything to capture that magic that my early writings had on here and nothing is working.

i feel wrung out creatively. and also i've noticed a spike in my anxiety around social media lately. i've deleted almost everything off of my phone. and its FREEING. like, i tend to hyper fixate on something to the point where it's just not healthy for me and i think i need to take a bit of a break from online spaces, F1 spaces specifically. i'll still be HERE on tumblr but that's about it.

so what's next for the next few months for me? im going to take it easy, be kind to myself, let the inspiration come as it wants. i have a kernel of an idea for a lando fic but i won't be posting it at all until it's completely finished. probably later this summer. i have plans to work on a little collab project with another writer on an oscar fic too. that'll probably happen later this summer too. and i'm going to rewrite A Package Deal as a OC fic that goes deeper and is longer. That will be posted on AO3 sometime this summer too. i'm also wanting to go and work on the novel i wrote last summer and get it ready for publishing? my goal last year was to have it ready to publish by this summer break in august but i won't be ready for that, so new goal! next summer, the goal is to have it published.

so like, i'll still be around. i'll still be here. i'm still writing. i'm hoping a bit of an absence will maybe reset my algorithm too? lol maybe the tumblr gods will be kind to me again in a few months?

anyway. sorry if this is cringe and embarrassing. i just needed to kind of get it all out. my asks are open if you ever want to chat. <3

[carbonfiction]

Not to me

Summary: just a super short lil self indulgent drabble about frank reminding you of your own strength on/after a bad anxiety day.. Basically i needed this after some stuff so..

Warnings?: vague mentions of mental health/ anxiety struggles. Post panic attack comfort ig? frank just being the ultimate comfort man.

Masterlist

"Ya know.. It aint make you a burden" Frank murmers lowly, sitting besides your curled up frame resting on the bed. The sheets white knuckled in your grip still. One of his hands slowly replacing it as the other moves to tuck a stray piece of hair back. "Not to me. Not to anyone."

Your puffy eyes sit cast at the wall still, barley blinking. A heavy swirl of emotions mixing through them in a way that feels so bone deep it physically hurts. Your mind loud, telling you lies and deceit through pounding beats of your heart and waves of nausea that just.. Dont go away. Its been hours since the last anxiety attack wracked your body and yet, yet you still sit with the shame of it blistering hot in your heart.

Your face morphs, lips ready to form a scoff but frank catches it, cupping your cheek and making you really meet his eyes. Warm, rich chocolate staring fondly at you. "Dont." Frank says, sharper than perhaps the intent as his voice remains unwavering. "Dont do that. I mean it sweetheart, not your fault, n aint nothing about you a bother"

The complete sincerity in his eyes make yours water once again, lip wobbling. "I.. Im sorry.. I cant.." you whimper, throat thick and choked up. On the verge of collapse.

Franks thumbs brush your cheeks, a soft sigh falling from his lips as he shuffles himself down besides you. His large frame open and ready, pulling you in and holding on tight, to ground you when the world feels too much. Like your too much.

"Told you there aint nothin to be sorry for alright? It happens." he murmers, lips pressing to your temple gently. A hand moving to rub your back. His hold offering enough pressure to cease the trembling you hadn't even noticed still there.

"Everythings so big.. And im too.. too scared and i dont know why" you whisper, fists tightening in his shirt.

"I know sweetheart, i know." frank breathes in response. Quiet for a moment before he squeezes your bicep softly. "But its okay to be scared. Hell look at you.. Still here, still pushin, despite the fear. That means somethin'. Somethin it aint ever gonna be able to take away. My girl, Tough as nails"

You hum quietly at that, still not quite sure curled against him and still emotional. Anxietys claws slowly backing away from your heart, your throat, the longer you remain in franks grip. Soothing and comforting, helping to get you through on the days that feel too big.

Always there and always proud, ready to remind you of your own strength, no matter the inevitable wobbles along the road.

Ps- My asks/dms are always open if anyone wants to chat about anything at all. I get it, ive been there and worn the t-shirt more times than i dare count.. But you aren't alone no matter what your brain tells you. Plus, Frank loves you and so do i <3

[revelingrexan]

RECORD FOR MY LONGEST TUMBLR YAPPING EVER, GO! (THIS IS PART 1 OF 2 LOL)

HELLO FOLKS I'M GOING TO DO A LIVEBLOG-BY-MEMORY OF MY FIRST TIME WATCHING HAZBIN EPISODE 5, AKA LUCIFER'S INTRO

...except it turned into a "why i like Hazbin's Lucifer" thing because i have so many thoughts while watching animated things, especially Vivzie's animated things because i'm a nerd and i'm constantly going "-Minecraft Steve dying noises- THAT COULD HAVE BEEN DONE BETTER" aND I DIDN'T WANT TO TYPE ALL MY THOUGHTS, WHICH WOULD TAKE LITERAL HOURS AND HOURS QJFKSQJJKQSJKS (WELL, ADDITIONAL "HOURS AND HOURS" TO WHAT I'VE ALREADY SPENT ON THIS)

(AND I MAINLY WANTED TO MAKE THIS POST SO FUTURE-ME COULD REMEMBER WHY I GOT SO WILDLY OBSESSED WITH THIS CARTOON MAN FOR WELL OVER A YEAR+ ANYWAY)

ACTUALLY, ON THAT NOTE: if you're here just to have a good time enjoying Hazbin rambles, DO be aware this post may lean more toward a "Hazbin critical" post, especially at the beginning. i would have gotten a Minecraft game over if each thing that bugged me caused me physical damage, even in just the first minute and a half. (mainly animation stuff, but some writing stuff too)

NECESSARY DISCLAIMER FOR ANYONE WHO MAY HAVE WANDERED HERE: THIS IS A RAMBLE ABOUT HAZBIN HOTEL, SO THERE WILL BE SOME SWEARING AND MATURE HUMOR MENTIONS

____

most of the following was written with voice-to-text because i had a sprained hand, so if there are any weird word choices that just make NO SENSE, feel free to let me know and i'll fix it! (i've proofread it to death, but there's almost definitely things i've missed) ...but the weird capitalizations and Alastor's name mis-written as "Alastair" are staying LOL

SORRY TO STINKY DEER MAN. VOICE-TO-TEXT DOESN'T KNOW HIS NAME AND EVEN MY "GOOD" SHOULDER/ARM WASN'T IN A PLACE TO BE ABLE TO FIX ALL THOSE (MY BODY IS TERRIBLE AND CONSTANTLY INJURED)

SO HERE WE GO:

PSYCH MORE DISCLAIMER FIRST LOL

don't worry if you don't know what i'm talking about with the animation or art stuff, and don't worry if you like parts i didn't because i was distracted by the animation (especially the song "More than Anything"). i'm just a picky nerd. also, if you want, you can ask about animation things and i can explain. i love rambling about animation!!! :D

i get a bit personal about mental health stuff and other things, but i don't think any of it requires trigger warnings; i'm generally pretty vague on specifics and i don't talk about anything too severe

again, bad body, sprained hand, lots of voice-to-text. some word choices might not make sense, so feel free to point those out, but i won't fix capitalizations or Alastor's misspelled "Alastair" name lol

remember, the Hazbin pilot and first episode are different

these messages i sent a friend on my first watch are a decent "TL;DR" summary of this whole post, minus my thoughts on Lucifer's crowded-with-rubber-ducks room, which are especially important to why i like him so much. (TL;DR of that section: "lol he just like me for real")

(weird collage screenshots because i retyped them to exclude my typos to my friend [i minimally use backspace as a joke with her] + i wanted to keep her reactions and the timestamps)

i'm almost certain "YEAH I THINK LUCIFER'S GONNA BE MY ACTUAL FAVORITE BECAUSE HE HAS THOSE FUN FACIAL EXPRESSIONS" was when Lucifer and Alastor were pushing Charlie around. i LOOOOVE Lucifer's smug -> SURPRISE -> FROWN faces there

SO 👏

WITH THAT:

HUUUUGE YAY, HERE I GO, SELF-INDULGING SOOOORTA-LIVE-BLOGGING (AND HOPING I GET SOME COMMENTS TO INTERACT WITH. I LOVE REPLYING TO PEOPLE BUT GETTING ANY INTERACTION IS ALWAYS A TOSS UP) RAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH :DD

______

hazbin hotel has taught me that unreliable narrator is one of my favorite narrative devices. How an event is narrated can simultaneously worldbuild and teach the audience about the character who's narrating. it would make sense that the opening story of Hazbin, written by a mother for her child and written about that mother herself and her husband, would paint herself and her husband in a better light than they might deserve

learning more about Lucifer was something I was REALLY looking forward to ever since episode one's opening, with the children's story talking about "Lucifer's ideas for creation" and then not elaborating whatsoever on what those ideas might be. how excitingly ominous!

and then episode 5 starts. (We're not to Lucifer's intro yet in this retelling. i don't even know what the episode will be about. hold on XD)

and the animation is terrible

while episodes 1 through 3 felt pretty cramped in their writing's pacing and episode 3 had a few animation/character design consistency moments that made me grimace, overall, their animation quality was pretty consistent and good. (Well, the writing quality for episode 3 was awful. Just really terrible. But that's a whole other post I might or might not make, with, at this point, "might not" looking more likely unless someone asks XD) (episode 4, Angel Dust's episode, was AMAZING, especially with its writing. single best episode in the series. i have some critiques, but overall it's great, and i'm impressed with its pacing)

watching episodes 1 through 4, I wasn't getting whiplash from the animation as I often do while watching Helluva Boss, which frequently changes line art types between animators or clean-up artists and can even pretty dramatically change a character's look between shots

and. Yeah. episode 5.

Even after watching episodes six through eight, 5 is STILL the worst animated episode in the entire series, and I would say that includes if I were to count all of the Helluva Boss episodes

... although, now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know if I would categorize it as having as bad of animation as the Hazbin pilot XD Now I want to rewatch the pilot just to see which I think has worse animation quality/consistency: the pilot or episode 5 lol

BUT I'M GETTING DISTRACTED. (AND, SERIOUSLY, DON'T WORRY IF YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED ANY OF WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT HERE OR IF YOU DON'T AGREE. SERIOUSLY, DON'T STRESS ABOUT IT. THE REASONING/OBSERVATIONS BEHIND THESE ANIMATION RAMBLES ARE SUPER NICHE)

SO. YES. BACK TO EPISODE 5 LIVEBLOGGING THING.

I grimace at the drawing of Charlie looking upward as she tells herself to think:

Not much wrong with the underlying drawing itself -- it's heavily stylized, and that's okay. But the line art on her mouth is a lot thicker than it should be and doesn't have the correct "lipstick" tapering she usually has (extra, extra thick in the middle of her lips, thin at the corners of her mouth). Plus, her movements have really rough settling and feel gross to me. i internally grimace at this whole shot, but It's okay, i tell myself. Hazbin hotel's animation and art quality have improved a lot! This could just be a bad shot that slipped through. it happens! making shows and movies can be chaotic!

... uh-oh. Now the line weights on Charlie's face and body in this shot are wrong too:

I'm starting to feel bad about the episode already, and I don't even know what it's going to be about. (the only thing I DID know about episode 5 was Alistair was going to go "big and freaky monster form" because of the thumbnail Amazon gave the episode, and I was looking forward to that from a glimpse I got in a teaser)

(I'm actually rewatching the episode alongside making this post, to get specific moments if any arise that I want to discuss, and ugh lol, I might just make another post -- probably on my rambles side blog, not here, because I prefer to keep it at least MOSTLY positive and fun here -- doing a whole play-by-play of episode 5. even though I couldn't have known it on my first view, I now have so many comments to make about Charlie's mimicking her dad and saying, " 'gO aHeAd, KiLL eVeRyOnE.' " again, hazbin hotel taught me I love unreliable narrating. and, spoiler alert, Hazbin taught me that because of how poorly it does unreliable narrating, or because of how it almost doesn't do it at all. :( )

(ANYWAY)

when Charlie turns around and says, "Wait! That's... IT!"

her face is distractingly off model and now I'm feeling even WORSE about the direction this episode is going. episode 3 flashbacks lol. If you don't count Hazbin's 30 second intro, we're not even one minute into episode 5, and it's already looking like we're gonna get something as bad as episode 3

side note:

off-model Charlie (i think a big part of the "off-model" impression here is 1. mainly because her eyelashes are so gigantic they almost hide her eyebrows, and a character having no eyebrows when they usually do can look odd, and 2. her pupils aren't wide enough or circular enough): "Wait! That's... IT!"

Vaggie: "Kill everyone?"

Vaggie's line is sincerely one of the best jokes in the series lol. Love that

...okay yeah, I'm not going to do as accurate of a play-by-play of my first viewing of episode 5 as I can, because that would take so so so so so so long XD But, at least one more non-lucifer related note because I do like to point out strong moments in Vivziepop's shows:

I DO feel good about Charlie differentiating between Adam being a terrible person and between all of heaven being untrustworthy (unclear wording on my part lol: What I mean is, she calls Adam an asshole, but she has hope the rest of heaven will be open to her redemption idea and not so dismissive and rude to her.)

her naivete up to this point hasn't given me the impression that she would make that sort of differentiation (and, by the time of episode 5, Vivzie's and especially Hazbin's writing style in general hasn't given me the impression Vivzie would do anything more with Heaven than "Heaven Evil, Actually")

so, anyway, let's skip some more animation rambles and a comedic timing rant, and fast forward to:

Angel Dust: "Well I'd like to meet the big dick in charge!"

Niffty: "The ULTIMATE bad boy! (giggles maniacally) I bet he's SCARY."

My brain goes into overdrive after Niffty's line, especially since it transitions from "I bet he's SCARY" to "-scratchy, guttural voice intended to be powerful and intimidating in a dark room-"

that "overly in agreement with the adjective 'scary' " transition tells me there's an upcoming tonal whiplash joke, meaning Lucifer isn't going to be scary at all

further, the dark room setting that we're given right away, shows that the pictures Lucifer has up are off-kilter.

so, he's not scary (which we can know because of the color tone and audio transition agreeing TOO much with Niffty's statement). he's disorganized. he has multiple photos of him happy with his family Even though they haven't been together for years, and he even has a photo of Charlie in what might have been for most parents a "teenage phase" that they'd like to forget

but apparently Lucifer loves Charlie so much, that he even fondly looks back on her angsting teenager years -- he kept that photo and even hung it up

tonal whiplash joke incoming confirmed, and an especially poorly done one at that. visually, the whiplash could have been done better if there were more obvious signs of neglect, damage, or wear, or maybe even a sheet partially covering one of the images, at first misleadingly implying he doesn't want to associate with or think about his family anymore

instead, he clearly loves his daughter and his family, even though Charlie feels alienated from him. maybe she hasn't seen him in a while because he's a shut-in, or he needed to mostly cut off contact for some reason and we'll find out that reason shortly

when it comes to character intros, overbuilding a character being intimidating and then doing a 180 to show that they're not is one of my least favorite jokes. ever. so my thinking " 'this person actually isn't scary' tonal whiplash joke confirmed" isn't a good time

sudden drop in animation quality, poor dialogue pacing... yep, this episode is off to a TERRIBLE start

...side note

i totally thought Lucifer was masturbating at first

when I later watched this episode with my brother, he did too. (I forget exactly what he said, but he was a bit taken aback or made some joke about it.) and Jeremy Jordan (Lucifer's voice actor) makes a joke in a character description about Lucifer and says Lucifer "play[s] with his dick all day." (Jeremy's swearing so much in that video because the Hazbin voice actors are playing a game of "see how much you can swear while describing your character.")

so, the "oh, he's masturbating" visual misread may have been intentional lol even tho idt i've seen anyone mention this

end of that side note

now an animation side note: the rises and settles of Lucifer's shoulders here are not done well. Very blocky, like that first moment that put me off with Charlie at the start. episode 5's animation sucks

i think to myself, hating this episode, that this is a terrible first animation to use for an important character's introduction. this poorly executed intro is especially egregious because he's mentioned and even vaguely shown in the pilot, and he also gets the same "importantly mentioned but passingly shown" treatment in the very first episode--

"... THE MAGIC-TASTICAL BACKFLIPPING RUBBER DUCK!"

okay that's hilarious and adorable. that was great

"THAT SPITS FIRE!!!"

INCREDIBLE. I LOVE HIM.

... ohp the animation, lineart, and visual timing are bad again. but I've already forgotten how much I hated the lead up to his intro with that "tonal whiplash" joke, because his intro is SO GOOD XD

Lucifer: "Hold the applause, please, okay! Heh, alright, thank you…" ...hm. huh. his voice is. just a guy. kinda boring and an odd choice. (DON'T ATTACK ME I DIDN'T KNOW JEREMY JORDAN AT THIS POINT ;QJSFKJKQSJKSKQJ. HIS VOICE WAS LITERALLY "JUST A GUY" TO ME)

aND OH. I WAS FAR MORE RIGHT THAN I EXPECTED ABOUT HIM BEING A SHUT-IN. A DARK ROOM WITH TILTED PHOTOS, FILLED WITH RUBBER DUCKS, GIVING THE IMPRESSION OF ISOLATION AND OBSESSIVE PROBLEM-IGNORING.

THIS GUY IS NOT DOING OKAY

and now here's one of the first reasons I started to especially get attached to him, rather than just go "haha What a funny character":

My own mental health issues!! -jazz hands-

things have improved a lot, and I haven't self-sabotaged for a while at levels that I did in the past, but one of my coping mechanisms when I'm stressed is over-focusing on media I like or over-focusing on side projects.

(Don't worry about my blogs hyper fixating on stuff, genuinely. I don't think most people can tell from the outside when it's at a self-sabotaging point until there are signs like failing classes [self-sabotaging to that level only happened one semester but WOW it was miserable]. but, even tho it may not be visible from the outside, I can tell the emotions and feelings behind what I'm doing. usually there's almost only anxiety of "this isn't what i should be doing" with no enjoyment at those points, and i'm spending NO TIME AT ALL on responsibilities.

let me emphasize: in that situation when i'm exceedingly stressed and don't know what to do or am too scared to do what i'm aware i should, i may be spending almost all my time on hobbies or interests, but it's MISERABLE AND IT'S NOT EVEN HOW I WANT TO BE SPENDING MY TIME. I'M TOO SCARED TO DO ANYTHING ELSE, AND I MIGHT EVEN BE TELLING MYSELF "STOP, THIS ISN'T WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING" THE ENTIRE TIME

all that is also different from my ADHD difficulty with switching tasks, altho "overfocusing to avoid things" and ADHD executive dysfunction can mix together and make each other exponentially worse if i don't take care of myself. anxiety and ADHD are dumb and tricky to work with... but at least i'm self-aware and can usually tell apart which of those two is causing me problems? lol????

anyway, point being of this parenthetical aside, other than partially being more detail on why i relate so much to this maladaptive coping mechanism: hyperfixating is what I do by default, and I'm doing fine right now. :p :) 💜)

Lucifer's barely been onscreen for ten seconds, and he's doing well on becoming a character I like. already he has in his favor:

having a moment done so well, that it pushes past my preemptive eye rolling (The overbuilt intro [bad] followed by The Rubber Duck [magic-tastical]. ....although if a moment has to be done SO well that it pushes past preemptive eye rolling, maybe that's not a shortcut XD)

specific poor coping mechanism that I strongly relate to

and now for an "oh boy this episode's animation SUCKS" interlude: i'll just copy-paste a ramble I sent a friend a while ago about animation quality on this whole Lucifer intro scene.

___

OH BOY EP 5 HAS SUCH MESSY ANIMATION CLEANUP LOL and i'm genuinely not convinced Lucifer was given a character [reference] sheet [more specifically, i'm not convinced he was given a turnaround] from how many variations there are in his design.

i'll share at least some of the most obvious moments that are easily available on YouTube https://youtu.be/dYw9LArY690?si=dPWJUMgiGIU0lfyJ

in general in these three shots, pretty nice line variation, with thicker lines on the outside of the character and thinner ones on the inside (details and inner lines are thinner than the bolder "overall form" outside lines) + individual lines change in thickness along their lengths (e.g. some lines are thicker in the center and thinner at the ends, and vice versa for others):

for the most part in these two screenshots, lines are ALL the same thickness, whether inside or outside the character, as well as the same thickness all along their lengths:

from 2:03 to 2:11 of the linked clip, my brother [[when i watched the episode with him later]] said something like "animator change speedrun" because of the lineart and character styles changing in almost every shot lol (timestamp in link here) https://youtu.be/dYw9LArY690?t=123

___

now for listing more things that Lucifer does well that I relate to or simply enjoy, just in his intro scene (While implicitly acknowledging the animation/cleanup/consistency oversight continues to be terrible lol):

practicing before a phone call (I've only done this a few times, and not with anyone as important to me as Charlie is to Lucifer, but it's felt necessary a few times, even if i felt awkward doing it each time. but even if i don't often rehearse for phonecalls, it's not uncommon for me to write bulletpoint lists for them beforehand [usually not with friends or casual calls, but sometimes] )

especially when already in a poor head space, speaking poorly of any attempts i might do at almost anything, as Lucifer does at his practiced lines to Charlie and as he did with the Magic-tastical rubber duck

SO MANY funny faces and so much movement and expressiveness

EXUBERANT too energetic greeting to make it seem like he's doing well. that "HEY! How are ya!!!" reminds me of so many times that I've needed to pretend to be okay almost immediately after a breakdown or felt like I need to force myself to seem like I'm in a good mood for someone who I feel is doing worse than me. (this is not necessarily healthy)

(bolding some of the quoted parts to visually break up text blocks and make skimming easier)

Charlie: "You know where I am, Dad! I've told you before!" -insert The ADHD Meme:-

... except in the above case, I'm not applying "ADHD" to Lucifer, and, even now more than a year later, I still don't want to until given more character information. instead, I'm seeing "depressed and withdrawing from the world, and suffering from memory issues that come alongside depression."

unfortunately, I relate to that too -- depression memory issues -- and Hazbin's writing so far is doing a great job at saying "depression" without literally saying it. (fortunately, my relating to depression is an "in the past" thing. also here, in my experiences, "depression / dissociating memory loss" and "ADHD memory loss" feel different from each other. AT LEAST I'M SELF-AWARE?? LOL????????)

(side note: Lucifer being autistic and having ADHD are popular headcanons in the fandom. i respect those headcanons and am not telling anyone they need to change them. i can see it. i just don't feel like i can, in good faith with my understanding of his character, say those apply to him until we've seen him under less stress and less pressure. many anxiety, stress, and depression responses can read as ADHD or autism, and the frequent comorbidity of any of these with each other make them even trickier to individually identify)

Lucifer: "Well, you know, I um... Uh." THAT DELIVERY AND HIS EXPRESSIONS. FUNNI. GOOD.

but also, i interpret the above moment as maybe more evidence of memory issues from depression (if it's not just him not knowing how to avoid saying "i was. making ducks"). this writing is awesome (sincere)

Charlie: "I told you when you called me 5 months ago? Or did you not listen?" Getting accused of not listening when something is just not at all in my memory is so real

Lucifer in response to Charlie's above line: "(panic that settles into an attempt of composure) No! No no no! Just--You know, just FORGOT. You know, I've just been really busy. You know with um. IMPORTANT things. 😬😶" i connected to so many parts of those few lines: the backpedaling after realizing you said the wrong thing, and the trying to make it seem like your forgetting isn't associated with how much you care about the other person (because sometimes the saying ~"If it's important, then you'd remember" just doesn't apply)

the following doesn't as directly tie to what's going on with Lucifer in the story But nonetheless gives me an extra "ping" of "I relate to this guy." still with the above moment, specifically the awkward lie of he's been busy with "important things," a lot of my hobbies and interests can seem trivial or even shameful to much of my family.

most people find it's super cool that I animate, but somehow those same people don't always seem to make the connection that means I enjoy watching cartoons a lot, and that, even though they think animating itself is cool, somehow an adult really liking animated stories is immature, or that it's "weird" I focus so much on one series much of the time. Plus, socializing can be difficult and exhausting for me, so I need a lot of "rest days." and I'm physically disabled, Even outside of what's currently going on with my sprained hand.

basically where I'm going with this, when it comes to meeting up with people and doing things that aren't doctors' appointments or school- or work-related, I may need to negotiate dates and times with people, even though I may not technically have a lot going on, or I may not have a lot going on by other people's perspectives. just doing a doctor's appointment or hanging out with other people might exhaust me for a day or two, so already that's a lot of space "filled" in my calendar

(This is different from fatigue syndromes, since how exhausting an interaction is, is almost always directly tied to how much i need to second guess myself or mask. I think it's just an "it can be tiring to consciously and constantly analyze people's body language, tone, and word choices, as well as tiring to analyze what I say or do three times before I do anything due to autism and taught anxiety" thing.)

But giving myself my rest days so I can maintain my emotional stability and emotional health is so important. I've had people, often family, question me in annoyance before about, well, what do I have going on anyway? and the answer is watching YouTube or reading a book

But you don't need to know that. You just need to know that I'm not available the other day that you wanted to try to talk or meet up. "I'm busy," or "That day doesn't work for me."

so, yeah, "important things" said with a bit of (narrative) humor and (character) awkwardness is relatable too, even if my experience isn't what's going on in this scene

Lucifer so happily and readily wanting to help Charlie (at first lol) has actually been really important to me. i'm fortunate to have a dad who's eager to help his kids and is financially able to, But it can feel bad or shameful to ask for help. Not going to get too far into this, but some of my siblings are okay with asking for financial help, and some of us aren't. until I saw this episode, I was in a mindset of "only ask parent for financial help If you're literally in danger of dying or being (further) disabled for life," Even though almost every time I talked to my dad he would seemingly be implying, "PLEASE, Is there something I can do for you?"

--- basically, even though there were some really bad moments in my life, I still didn't see asking for his help as an option. But the shocked literally wide-eyed eagerness Lucifer shows at feeling like he can help his daughter got me to understand more fully where a parent might be coming from, a parent who cares about their child and who has the means and desire to help.

--- this small moment has literally encouraged me to ask for help when i might have been too anxious to do so before. or, with some of the things i asked for help with, maybe i still would have asked, but I would have been far more troubled and guilt-ridden than otherwise, making already stressful situations even more stressful

with all that I wrote above, I didn't take it personally when Lucifer refused Charlie's request at first. first of all, this is fiction and i'm not actually any of the characters in the story lol. second, the moment was done comedically, and almost certainly, I thought even on my first viewing, it's related to a bad past experience Lucifer has had with heaven. this is The Lucifer we're talking about after all, and his banishment is definitively established in episode 1. also I got distracted by all the bad animation and what, to me, was a too-long joke with all of his "No"s lol. (when I watched this episode for a second time, knowing how much I now liked Lucifer, I figured the multi-No moment would grow on me, and it has XD)

him wanting to see Charlie so badly is endearing lol, and his missing or entirely forgetting or ignoring the point of WHY she's inviting him over is funny, even if concerning

Lucifer: "My~ daughter~ wants to see~ meeeee~" both funny and a sweet reminder of how parents can feel about children they love: they want to spend time with their kids, and they want to feel like they matter to their kids.

--- also, this whole last moment, from before he hangs up to the end of this little singing bit, seems to hint that for some reason he wasn't spending time with Charlie because someone told him that she DIDN'T want to see him, or for some reason he convinced himself of that. this is SUPER interesting and, if i'm reading the moment correctly, i'm still curious about the origin of him having those beliefs

"TAKE THAT, DEPRESSION!!" I actually didn't care much for this moment when I first watched. it brought his depression out of a "well written but not said outright" category + where did he learn the term "depression" since it being used that way is relatively recent and he's who-knows-how-many-thousands-or-millions-or-billions of years old + he's an old geezer (many older people aren't very open about mental health diagnoses or what they view as "trendy" diagnoses) + i got concerned "depression" might be used as a narrative excuse for any of Lucifer's shortcomings or poor actions. although his face is funny :p and this moment has grown on me and I do like it now, especially after seeing how much Jeremy Jordan loves this line during his live streams

NEW SCENE. LUCIFER'S AT THE HOTEL NOW

(i caps lock this next part, although, looking at the messages to my friend as I first watched the episode, it looks like even though I was enjoying Lucifer trying and failing to be a good dad [because, in almost all circumstances, if a child, especially an adult child, feels abandoned by their parent, that parent is not doing a good job] I was still hesitant to enjoy the overall episode.

The animation has been atrocious, the pacing and joke writing has felt off, and this is the first episode released after the first chunk of four. I was concerned all Quality Control was put into the first four episodes, and that the quality of the rest of the show will have plummeted)

LUCIFER IS SO PATHETIC AND AWKWARD. HOW LONG WAS HE STANDING OUTSIDE THE DOOR. I LOVE HIM

AAAAWWWW. HE'S SO HAPPY TO BE HERE AND SO HAPPY TO SEE CHARLIE

OH MY GOODNESS HIM PETTING AND COOING AT KEEKEE IS THE CUTEST THING

--- ON A LATER VIEW WHEN I SAW HIS AWKWARD SMILE BEFORE BENDING DOWN TO PET KEEKEE, I ASSOCIATED HIS PETTING KEEKEE AS SIMILAR TO GOING TO A PARTY AND FIXATING ON A CAT OR DOG BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO INTERACT WITH THE PEOPLE. VERY RELATABLE ANXIETY / AWKWARD RESPONSE

OH MY GOODNESS HIS LITTLE DANCE AND TINY BIT OF SINGING WITH RAZZLE AND DAZZLE IS AMAZING

the "You better be" joke is actually another type of joke that I am usually not a fan of (another "OoOoOoO unexpected tone change!" joke) and it doesn't work for me here

--- ASIDE: I can say that the delivery in the Canadian French dub maybe works as a joke for me XD in English, the "you better be" isn't all that intimidating anyway, so the tonal joke isn't done well. in Canadian French, it IS more intimidating. AND his follow-up laugh is so dorky and funny. his laughing almost sounds like he's trying to be a neighing cartoon horse

honestly I can't fault Lucifer for his uncertain first looks around the hotel, followed by his "It's got a lot of character!" He's TRYING to be supportive and not discouraging. but he sucks at it. also, funni

some things are done poorly in this scene, but I forgot that i originally titled the draft of this post "why I like Lucifer." so, how about to save probably literally a few thousand words, I will just focus on moments that specifically matter to how I understand Lucifer XD

I have a very deep analysis here with Alistair starting to interact with him: haha Lucifer short and responding with funni faces :)

... oh no. I'm actually, right now, as I'm making this distractible liveblog thing, not having a lot of info in my mind on what I was thinking during my first view about alistair's early interactions with Lucifer. oh no. was I THAT focused on Lucifer's funny faces???? i should have SOMETHING else in my mind here (other than "eugh. weird animation"). oh no. maybe I WAS mainly just going "haha faces :)"

.......haha faces :) ⬇️

AHEM. ANYWAY. YEAH I THOUGHT HIS INTERACTIONS WITH ALASTOR WERE MOSTLY FUNNY AND GOOD. DUMB MEN

AND THAT'S THE END OF PART 1 BECAUSE I'VE REACHED TUMBLR'S IMAGE LIMIT LOOOOOOOL

part 2 scheduled to come out in three days on Thursday!

[dragon-queen21]

Trapped in a dating sim: Regressor Leon Hc's

Just finished book three for this series and decided to be self-indulgent and make some agere headcanons, thus here we are

~~~

~So I had it in my head that Leon would be a caregiver until it hit me that no, he fits the combination of a toddler in dire need of a nap and forever being stuck in his terrible twos. In other words, still causing problems for everyone involved even while regressed.

~For awhile only Luxion knew that Leon regressed, given that the AI is always with him. I think he'd soften up a bit whenever his master is feeling small and probably keep him out of harms way and out of sight to the best of his ability. Either on the Partner, or just in Leon's dorm room.

~ Now I offer you this, Who would win? A robot capable of destroying the world vs 1 sarcastic toddler.

~That one part in the manga where he gets a headband to put on Luxion- that but he keeps trying to do that to the robot whenever he's regressed. Putting small stickers on him, or a small hat, or anything else cute that he can find and manage the AI to wear. Luxion doesn't necessarily like it, but doesn't say no. Like he won't stop Leon from doing anything. Probably finds a way to blackmail him once he's big again let's be honest.

~Leon would probably throw a temper tantrum at the drop of a hat. Literally the most fussiest baby ever. So cranky over anything and everything.

~Upon Olivia and Angie finding out about his regression (which is bound to happen sooner or later) they immediately decided to take up the roles as caregivers for the regressed boy.

~Leon meanwhile is constantly trying to push his caregiver’s buttons.

~Goes to Olivia whenever he’s about to get in trouble. She’s a pushover and can never bring it in herself to get upset at Leon no matter what he does when little. Angie on the other hand has no issues putting the regressor into time out.

~Luxion meanwhile who literally just encourages the baby crimes. He just wants to watch the world burn and to make sure that Leon's happy.

~He’d host so many pretend tea parties ‘inviting’ every single one of his stuffed animals.

~Wants to brew his own tea but only manages to spill boiling water on himself and start crying over it. But then throws a fit if one of the girls tries to make him something to drink because he claims they don't know how to do it right. So instead he just pouts.

~Probably threw a pillow at the girls during a temper tantrum and felt horrible about it afterwards, but still refused to apologize until the next time he was small and the guilt was simply too much for a mentally two year old to handle.

[schwarzgeier]

Testing to see if i get bonked for this lmaoo

Thinking of posting this stuff on Blue sky maybe? I don't know tbh i just don't wanna open Twitter again...

[faceglitchsworld]

My faves interacting with my faves (1/∞)

[deaddove]

hello radiant emperor fandom. i heard you guys like dark historical fantasies about genderqueer warlords and their ruthless pursuit of Revenge and/or The Throne… well let me put you onto something:

need more emo femboys with daddy issues? doomed siblings? lord/vassal dynamics? romantic stabbing? corruption arcs? sexy masochism? you 🫵 should consider reading

Requiem of the Rose King by Aya Kanno

loosely based off Shakespeare's Henry and Richard plays, this manga follows intersex protagonist Richard III (yes he has straight black hair with the bangs covering one eye. yes it’s to hide his heterochromia) through England's War of the Roses.

(he is so cute don't you just want to see him snarling and covered in blood. don't you want to see him slowly abandon his ideals in a desperate bid to be accepted by the world that shunned and demonized him.)

battle, bloodshed, and court politics ensue! also because it's a shoujo manga, Richard becomes the psychosexual obsession of most of the male cast and engages in a toxic doomed relationship or two.

this is not a series for those looking for good queer rep, but perfect for anyone who wants to read about beautiful criminally insane people tearing each other's throats out and being horny about it. it is fun, violent, melodramatic, sexy, and utterly devastating. and although it is tonally very different from TRE, it has so many similar ingredients that i think it deserves to be on your radar. actually it deserves to be on everyone's radar, it's so fucking good and doesn't get anywhere near the attention it deserves...

yea there is an anime that is unforgivably ugly and so heavily censored it's a mystery why they even bothered to adapt it. would not recommend it at all but i guess you can watch it if you want, i am not the police.

actually no i changed my mind. Aya Kanno's work is stunning and deserves to be appreciated. ok case rested.

[immunetoneurotoxin]

“Not a soul assigned to their case at the Bureau could make sense of their existence. There wasn’t a single scientist, parapsychologist, doctor, or specialist with over a dozen PHD’s under the sun that could figure them out. Pyrokinesis in a human? They defy every law of nature, yet they exist amongst humanity regardless. How do you explain that?” “The truth is that there are a lot of unknown things out there in the world that mankind hasn't even begun to scratch the surface of. Everyone flocked to this case trying to find rational answers, but there aren’t any. Look at the files in your hands. By the eyes of science, Pyro should not exist. Don’t you know what happens to things mankind doesn’t understand? The Bureau has done sickening things to them in the name of research.” “That’s why I helped them escape, Conagher.”

Excerpt from the novel INCENDIARY; A TF2 Pyro origin story Read the latest chapter of 'Incendiary' on AO3 here! Artwork created by the incredible @narklos ♡ 

[nightshademyn]

Spring Nap time 💤 🐰

[hypmicdaydreams]

is anyone still in the mood for a hypmic imagines blog these days lol

[seventh-district]

babe wake up a new Venti-coded song just droppped

“I’m as sober as a drunk.

I’m as high as rock bottom.

Free as a man with his hands handcuffed to the bar.”

[walkingstackofbooks]

I really didn't think I was going to get Chapter 19 up on time, but I did and I have!

And MAN the Garashir in this chapter is some of my favourite stuff I've ever written, honestly I'm rereading it and I can't believe I wrote it... Ah man, I'm so hype to share this chapter with youuuuu!

[peachcitt]

it’s about to be june everybody :)

[skrunksthatwunk]

"i'm not disabled" followed immediately by "i've got bad knees and a bad back" is certainly something to read 🤨 you know it doesn't have to be cripling for it to count, right...? it's not normal to be in pain after 15 minutes of standing. ableds can stand for, like, an hour at a time before they need to sit.

i know! i appreciate the concern, but i uh. dunno lol. genuinely i don't know. but i included the afaik ("i'm not disabled afaik" was the original phrase, though i'm not like mad at you for excluding it or anything) because i'm well aware that it's a possibility. it's hard to explain but there's a lot of little things that don't add up to much but are like. noticeable. like i would prefer to do most things sitting, if i could, as a matter of comfort. it would be easier for me. and walking isn't as bad as just standing. i've never been great at taking care of my body, and this has only gotten worse with time. it's hard for me to know what i should read as necessity and what i should read as preference, and how much weight to put on said preferences. like you said, i know it doesn't need to be "if i don't sit down i'm going to collapse" or anything, but where to draw that line between Definitely A Medical Thing That Affects Me More Than Other People and.. not that, i'm not sure. i kinda just thought i was a persistently slightly tired and low energy person, but it doesn't seem bad enough to be chronic fatigue, so...? is it related to the half-diagnosed. idk it's complicated depression (and yes in hindsight i probably should've counted that as disabling but whatever)? idk it's not a rabbit hole i've explored much at all is my point. but i know it's there and uh i guess this was sort of validating in a way anon so.. yeah? yeah👍

[starpros-sunshine]

also i think that after seeing that Something is going out with his eichisama tori should also sneak into town to go and see what's the deal with this wataru guy. and he inevitably gets lost but meets hajime and they have a bonding moment barbie movie-style and him and tomoya help tori meet wataru. and then wataru sees tomoya and goes "oho! interesting child!" which once again leads to eichi unreasonable jealousy against this poor random kid

Okay so I've been thinking on this and I've been trying to get something coherent and bear with me right right.

(this got so long again I just started going into detail and detail and detail and oh god I am so sorry)

So Tori, poor, innocent Tori, has to come to terms with the fact that Eichi is hiding something from him (that "Something" being a tall blue-haired extra of unknown origin) and he knows that, technically, the mature thing would be to leave it alone. Eichi will have his reasons for being a little secretive about it. He has his own life and if he doesn't want to be open about...whatever it is that seems to be going on there.... then he doesn't have to be because the man has a right to privacy.

Tori knows that. But Tori also knows that being mature doesn't matter if, technically, his beloved Eichi-sama could be at risk of giving his heart away to a scoundrel that only wishes to play with him until he's bored and then throws him away, breaking Eichis heart in the process. We couldn't have that! And what if he's a criminal? Can you really trust someone who snoops around on other peoples property without their knowing? No you can't! So really it's only natural Tori wants to know what that guys deal is. Out of a genuine concern for his friend. Of course.

And so obviously it's a completely acceptable and normal and rational decision when he sees that Yuzuru isn't there for a moment to keep watch over him like the guard dog that he is (really Tori isn't a child anymore there's no need to be so overprotective) and the other staff members also don't seem to be around and Eichi is also nowhere to be seen, that he decides to take his coat and pack his little bag with some money (read: more money than just "some" money) and tries to sneak out of the house and down the path across the small meadow and the bit of forest that separates their not-so-humble abode from the small town where the other people live.

His inital plan simple. Go there; ask around a little, maybe try some tailing (after hearing stories from the other aristocrats about how one is able to hire people to follow their spouses around without them noticing - and that apparently being an actual thing people earn their money with - he's decided that it can't be that hard and he should try his luck.) and then leaving as quickly as possible, lest Yuzuru die of a heart attack after finding out Tori dissappeared. It would be quick and easy and nobody would ever find out. That was the original plan. But Tori very soon comes to find that that could prove harder than he thought when he notices he actually really really enjoys the feeling of not having anyone hover over him like some sort of falcon watching their prey.

The little river running by the path through the meadow is still frozen (It is winter after all) and the snow on the ground almost reaches his ankles. The 15 minute walk takes him 30 because he keeps jumping around in the snow (He's made three snow angels by now. For a second he has to think of his sister and of how nice it would be if she were here with him too and how they could make snow angels together were it not for her having to stay with their parents, but he pushes that thought to the back of his head again and decides to move on with his way).

When he eventually arrives at the town - and after just wandering aimlessly through the rather empty streets - there are three major epiphanies.

The first one is that he doesn't have a clear destination. He has no idea where to look for the blue-haired weirdo. The second is that, seeing as it is a forenoon in january, most people probably aren't spending their time outside. And if they are then they are at a different place than where he is. And the third and final one: He is completely and utterly lost.

It should be regarded as an accomplishment really. Getting lost in a town with a population of barely 300 locals living there. Indeed Tori would think it impossible. Yet here he is. If anything he's sure he's at least the only one who can claim this feat for himself. This is fine. He has this under control. If he just keeps walking then he's sure to come out somewhere (No there are no tears in his eyes anyone who says otherwise is just imagining things (he decidedly ignores the little voice in his head that tells him "Who's gonna say otherwise. Look around yourself, have you forgotten that you're all alone here?")). So the big brave boy that he is he marches onward, ignoring the way his fingers have started to feel numb from the cold and his eyes have not stopped watering and the little voice in the back of his head that tells him he should've just listened to Yuzuru (He banishes that one to the deepest depths of his subconscious very quickly. There are blows that his pride can take in these situations and then there's having to agree with "You should've just listened to Yuzuru". If There is one thing that can be said about Tori then it's that he is not one to simply give up. He has come this far and he'll be damed if he backs out now).

Lost in thought and not paying much attention to his surroundings (he has more important things to think about right now), he only manages to register a flash of blue in his peripheral vision. And because this could be what he's come here for in the first place but more importantly because this is a person and that is where the bar is set, Tori immediately tries to follow them. If Lady Luck is especially nice to him this time she lets this person be the mysterious stranger he's been looking for, but what feels like a day of walking through empty streets in the biting cold of a noon in late january have humbled him enough to not push it with his luck.

And when he turns the corner, calling out for the figure to wait, insted of the strange man he was expecting he comes face-to-face with a meekish looking boy with blue hair and big violet eyes and next to him there's a second boy, this one able to be described in all aspects with only one word: average. And for a solid ten seconds they all just stare at each other.

Tori doesn't really know how, he really has no idea, but somehow he ended up following the two home. Or, well, more or less. Following isn't really the right word here. After their almost-staring-competition on the street the meekish looking one with the blue hair asked him if he was alright because "he seemed lost" (he absolutely did not.) which then prompted an entire series of events that ended is Tori sitting in this strangers families home - with an entirely different stranger also there - getting a serving of what he assumes to be radish soup. Tori feels a little sorry for the boy, Tomoya, as he said his name was, who seemed like he was previously engaged in a conversation with the other boy, who later introduced himself as Hajime and who had spent the entire way asking him questions about how he ended up here and what someone like him was doing all alone in a sleepy village neighbourhood like theirs and if he really didn't need a tissue (He hadn't cried while explaining how he was lost. He totally hadn't) and on and on and on as Tomoya had to awkwardly walk behind them.

So now, sitting at this table with these two people who he has only met today and who have given him a bowl of soup to warm himself up with, he has to tell everything about how he ended up in this situation in the first place. At the end of his recollection of this oh so wonderful day he is met with two pitying looks an a laugh - apparently one of Hajimes younger siblings had joined them at their little impromptu gathering (he wonders, distantly, how his own sister is doing right now).

And as he's about to say that he should probably make his way home and resume his mission another time when he has a map, Hajime mentions that he actually knows the guy Tori is talking about and that he lives at the local inn and that that isn't that far from them and that he and Tomoya can walk him there if he wants to. Tori agrees immediately. He is so over trying to be discreet about it at this point he really just wants some sort of success in this kind of ridiculous endeavour he's set out on.

So after the soup is finished and his limbs don't feel like they're about to fall off anymore the trio goes on their merry way and Tori feels a little silly because for all the walking around he did before they reach this inn really pretty quickly... maybe he should've thought to bring a map... The three of them venture further into the inn, and Tori only overhears Hajime talking to an older woman, but he's more occupied with looking around the place. It's father homely and rustic, a completely different atmosphere than at their place. There are noises from the few patrons sitting at the tables and chatting with each other, but it only add to the cozy feeling of the entire place.

When Hajime comes back he leads Tori up a little stairway and down a dimly lit hallway. They stop in front of a door at the very end of it (in my head there's a bit of a terasse thing happening there like. you can look down into the part where the tables are and such right right) and Tori barely has time to mentally prepare for the fact that this really is happening now before Hajime knocks and the sound of muffled steps approaching the door can be heard.

When the door finally opens (it's been a few seconds at best but it feels like an eternity), Tori is greeted by the lovely view of a pair of pale clavicles, barely covered by a black linen blouse. He has to actively look up to look at the face of their owner and when he is met with a pair of sharp, purple eyes he feels like his throat just sew itself shut. Hajime explains to Wataru that Tori was looking for him and suddenly a light seems to go up above Watarus head as a look of recognition flashes over his face and he turns around to Tori again and asks him if he's "the princess that Eichi's been telling him all about". Tori is confused. Hajime decides that this is his cue to leave and he slowly backs away to go back down and collect Tomoya, who's been roped into helping out with the catering by some elder gentleman (Wataru watches Hajime as he collects Tomoya and they leave, intrigued by this strangely average boy, as Tori just stares in horror as the realisation dawns upon him that he is now completely alone with this man whom he didn't even intend on speaking to in the first place).

So now he is here. In this very awkward situation. Sitting on a chair in this strangers room (for the second time today! Did he ever have a day this eventful? Who knows! Tori for sure doesn't.). He wants to talk, but Wataru is faster and asks him what he's doing here. Tori doesn't really know how to reply. How do you talk your way around having to tell someone that you actually got lost on the way to spy on them. That's right. You can't. Well, Eichi could. But Tori is Tori and he never wished for that to change more than he did now.

He looks out of the window and it is at that moment that another three major epiphanies reach him. Firstly that he doesn't know what to do now that he's here, secondly that he's going to get murdered by Yuzuru (and if worst comes to worst also Eichi) once he gets back because he's been gone all day without telling anyone and they're probably all worried sick, and last but not least: it is dark outside. He can't go home like that. He is virtually stuck in this predicament he found himself in.

Wataru seems to have a similar thought, because the immediate follow up question after not really getting a coherent answer from Tori is if anyone knows he's gone. Tori shakes his head. If Tsukasa ever finds out about this mess of a situation he will have to die because he would never let Tori live that down.

He gets ripped out of his incoming spiral by the bird that takes a seat on his head and Watarus over-the-top contemplative sigh and the slight lilt in his voice when he voices the next issue that's in the room. He isn't even speaking to Tori anymore, but to his bird that sits on Toris head, Jeanne, and Tori is starting to get annoyed by the way he jokes about this entire thing, calling Tori a "a little bird that escaped its nest", as if he isn't stuck having to prepare for his untimely demise. And by the way this guy hasn't put down his cryptic smile and teasing voice ever since he entered the room. When he thinks things can't get any more awkward for him Wataru proposes two options. Either he walks him home, or Tori has to stay at the inn for the night and he brings him back in the morning. Tori decides he'd rather go back home sooner than later (he'll have to take the lacture either way and he's probably caused everyone enough worries by now anyways. And also he misses his bed.). So Wataru grabs his coat, quickly goes to tell the inn-keepers he's "bringing retuening the princess to ger people" (Tori doesn't know if he liked the bird comparison better or not).

The way back is still very tense because Tori does not dare to walk next to Wataru (he's sketchy it's not Toris fault it's a normal reaction) and so he just awkwardly walks behind him, He doesn't really watch his surroundings - it is dark and the only nice thing is that it's snowing and there are animal sounds and they are spooky and he needs to watch the way and it's easier to think that way - until suddenly he gets hit by a snowball right in the head. And he is so baffled by this that he just stares at Wataru, and Wataru grins at him with his stupid stupid grin and somehow they end up in a snowball fight on this meadow where the only reason you can see anything is because of the snow and when they finally arrive at the mansion they both have so much snow in their hair and their clothes are wet from the melted snow and when they knock on the door and wait for someone to open Wataru gets some of the snow out of Toris hair and says that that snowball fight can be their little shared secret and Tori grins back at him and agrees and when the door opens and both of them are frantically ushered in by a maid that tells another one to get Yuzuru and Eichi Tori decides that maybe this guy isn'r so bad after all. Maybe he's actually quite nice.