#ALSO IT IS THREE AM THIS IS MY FINAL MESSAGE TO THE WORLD GOOD NIGHT

[starpros-sunshine]

also i think that after seeing that Something is going out with his eichisama tori should also sneak into town to go and see what's the deal with this wataru guy. and he inevitably gets lost but meets hajime and they have a bonding moment barbie movie-style and him and tomoya help tori meet wataru. and then wataru sees tomoya and goes "oho! interesting child!" which once again leads to eichi unreasonable jealousy against this poor random kid

Okay so I've been thinking on this and I've been trying to get something coherent and bear with me right right.

(this got so long again I just started going into detail and detail and detail and oh god I am so sorry)

So Tori, poor, innocent Tori, has to come to terms with the fact that Eichi is hiding something from him (that "Something" being a tall blue-haired extra of unknown origin) and he knows that, technically, the mature thing would be to leave it alone. Eichi will have his reasons for being a little secretive about it. He has his own life and if he doesn't want to be open about...whatever it is that seems to be going on there.... then he doesn't have to be because the man has a right to privacy.

Tori knows that. But Tori also knows that being mature doesn't matter if, technically, his beloved Eichi-sama could be at risk of giving his heart away to a scoundrel that only wishes to play with him until he's bored and then throws him away, breaking Eichis heart in the process. We couldn't have that! And what if he's a criminal? Can you really trust someone who snoops around on other peoples property without their knowing? No you can't! So really it's only natural Tori wants to know what that guys deal is. Out of a genuine concern for his friend. Of course.

And so obviously it's a completely acceptable and normal and rational decision when he sees that Yuzuru isn't there for a moment to keep watch over him like the guard dog that he is (really Tori isn't a child anymore there's no need to be so overprotective) and the other staff members also don't seem to be around and Eichi is also nowhere to be seen, that he decides to take his coat and pack his little bag with some money (read: more money than just "some" money) and tries to sneak out of the house and down the path across the small meadow and the bit of forest that separates their not-so-humble abode from the small town where the other people live.

His inital plan simple. Go there; ask around a little, maybe try some tailing (after hearing stories from the other aristocrats about how one is able to hire people to follow their spouses around without them noticing - and that apparently being an actual thing people earn their money with - he's decided that it can't be that hard and he should try his luck.) and then leaving as quickly as possible, lest Yuzuru die of a heart attack after finding out Tori dissappeared. It would be quick and easy and nobody would ever find out. That was the original plan. But Tori very soon comes to find that that could prove harder than he thought when he notices he actually really really enjoys the feeling of not having anyone hover over him like some sort of falcon watching their prey.

The little river running by the path through the meadow is still frozen (It is winter after all) and the snow on the ground almost reaches his ankles. The 15 minute walk takes him 30 because he keeps jumping around in the snow (He's made three snow angels by now. For a second he has to think of his sister and of how nice it would be if she were here with him too and how they could make snow angels together were it not for her having to stay with their parents, but he pushes that thought to the back of his head again and decides to move on with his way).

When he eventually arrives at the town - and after just wandering aimlessly through the rather empty streets - there are three major epiphanies.

The first one is that he doesn't have a clear destination. He has no idea where to look for the blue-haired weirdo. The second is that, seeing as it is a forenoon in january, most people probably aren't spending their time outside. And if they are then they are at a different place than where he is. And the third and final one: He is completely and utterly lost.

It should be regarded as an accomplishment really. Getting lost in a town with a population of barely 300 locals living there. Indeed Tori would think it impossible. Yet here he is. If anything he's sure he's at least the only one who can claim this feat for himself. This is fine. He has this under control. If he just keeps walking then he's sure to come out somewhere (No there are no tears in his eyes anyone who says otherwise is just imagining things (he decidedly ignores the little voice in his head that tells him "Who's gonna say otherwise. Look around yourself, have you forgotten that you're all alone here?")). So the big brave boy that he is he marches onward, ignoring the way his fingers have started to feel numb from the cold and his eyes have not stopped watering and the little voice in the back of his head that tells him he should've just listened to Yuzuru (He banishes that one to the deepest depths of his subconscious very quickly. There are blows that his pride can take in these situations and then there's having to agree with "You should've just listened to Yuzuru". If There is one thing that can be said about Tori then it's that he is not one to simply give up. He has come this far and he'll be damed if he backs out now).

Lost in thought and not paying much attention to his surroundings (he has more important things to think about right now), he only manages to register a flash of blue in his peripheral vision. And because this could be what he's come here for in the first place but more importantly because this is a person and that is where the bar is set, Tori immediately tries to follow them. If Lady Luck is especially nice to him this time she lets this person be the mysterious stranger he's been looking for, but what feels like a day of walking through empty streets in the biting cold of a noon in late january have humbled him enough to not push it with his luck.

And when he turns the corner, calling out for the figure to wait, insted of the strange man he was expecting he comes face-to-face with a meekish looking boy with blue hair and big violet eyes and next to him there's a second boy, this one able to be described in all aspects with only one word: average. And for a solid ten seconds they all just stare at each other.

Tori doesn't really know how, he really has no idea, but somehow he ended up following the two home. Or, well, more or less. Following isn't really the right word here. After their almost-staring-competition on the street the meekish looking one with the blue hair asked him if he was alright because "he seemed lost" (he absolutely did not.) which then prompted an entire series of events that ended is Tori sitting in this strangers families home - with an entirely different stranger also there - getting a serving of what he assumes to be radish soup. Tori feels a little sorry for the boy, Tomoya, as he said his name was, who seemed like he was previously engaged in a conversation with the other boy, who later introduced himself as Hajime and who had spent the entire way asking him questions about how he ended up here and what someone like him was doing all alone in a sleepy village neighbourhood like theirs and if he really didn't need a tissue (He hadn't cried while explaining how he was lost. He totally hadn't) and on and on and on as Tomoya had to awkwardly walk behind them.

So now, sitting at this table with these two people who he has only met today and who have given him a bowl of soup to warm himself up with, he has to tell everything about how he ended up in this situation in the first place. At the end of his recollection of this oh so wonderful day he is met with two pitying looks an a laugh - apparently one of Hajimes younger siblings had joined them at their little impromptu gathering (he wonders, distantly, how his own sister is doing right now).

And as he's about to say that he should probably make his way home and resume his mission another time when he has a map, Hajime mentions that he actually knows the guy Tori is talking about and that he lives at the local inn and that that isn't that far from them and that he and Tomoya can walk him there if he wants to. Tori agrees immediately. He is so over trying to be discreet about it at this point he really just wants some sort of success in this kind of ridiculous endeavour he's set out on.

So after the soup is finished and his limbs don't feel like they're about to fall off anymore the trio goes on their merry way and Tori feels a little silly because for all the walking around he did before they reach this inn really pretty quickly... maybe he should've thought to bring a map... The three of them venture further into the inn, and Tori only overhears Hajime talking to an older woman, but he's more occupied with looking around the place. It's father homely and rustic, a completely different atmosphere than at their place. There are noises from the few patrons sitting at the tables and chatting with each other, but it only add to the cozy feeling of the entire place.

When Hajime comes back he leads Tori up a little stairway and down a dimly lit hallway. They stop in front of a door at the very end of it (in my head there's a bit of a terasse thing happening there like. you can look down into the part where the tables are and such right right) and Tori barely has time to mentally prepare for the fact that this really is happening now before Hajime knocks and the sound of muffled steps approaching the door can be heard.

When the door finally opens (it's been a few seconds at best but it feels like an eternity), Tori is greeted by the lovely view of a pair of pale clavicles, barely covered by a black linen blouse. He has to actively look up to look at the face of their owner and when he is met with a pair of sharp, purple eyes he feels like his throat just sew itself shut. Hajime explains to Wataru that Tori was looking for him and suddenly a light seems to go up above Watarus head as a look of recognition flashes over his face and he turns around to Tori again and asks him if he's "the princess that Eichi's been telling him all about". Tori is confused. Hajime decides that this is his cue to leave and he slowly backs away to go back down and collect Tomoya, who's been roped into helping out with the catering by some elder gentleman (Wataru watches Hajime as he collects Tomoya and they leave, intrigued by this strangely average boy, as Tori just stares in horror as the realisation dawns upon him that he is now completely alone with this man whom he didn't even intend on speaking to in the first place).

So now he is here. In this very awkward situation. Sitting on a chair in this strangers room (for the second time today! Did he ever have a day this eventful? Who knows! Tori for sure doesn't.). He wants to talk, but Wataru is faster and asks him what he's doing here. Tori doesn't really know how to reply. How do you talk your way around having to tell someone that you actually got lost on the way to spy on them. That's right. You can't. Well, Eichi could. But Tori is Tori and he never wished for that to change more than he did now.

He looks out of the window and it is at that moment that another three major epiphanies reach him. Firstly that he doesn't know what to do now that he's here, secondly that he's going to get murdered by Yuzuru (and if worst comes to worst also Eichi) once he gets back because he's been gone all day without telling anyone and they're probably all worried sick, and last but not least: it is dark outside. He can't go home like that. He is virtually stuck in this predicament he found himself in.

Wataru seems to have a similar thought, because the immediate follow up question after not really getting a coherent answer from Tori is if anyone knows he's gone. Tori shakes his head. If Tsukasa ever finds out about this mess of a situation he will have to die because he would never let Tori live that down.

He gets ripped out of his incoming spiral by the bird that takes a seat on his head and Watarus over-the-top contemplative sigh and the slight lilt in his voice when he voices the next issue that's in the room. He isn't even speaking to Tori anymore, but to his bird that sits on Toris head, Jeanne, and Tori is starting to get annoyed by the way he jokes about this entire thing, calling Tori a "a little bird that escaped its nest", as if he isn't stuck having to prepare for his untimely demise. And by the way this guy hasn't put down his cryptic smile and teasing voice ever since he entered the room. When he thinks things can't get any more awkward for him Wataru proposes two options. Either he walks him home, or Tori has to stay at the inn for the night and he brings him back in the morning. Tori decides he'd rather go back home sooner than later (he'll have to take the lacture either way and he's probably caused everyone enough worries by now anyways. And also he misses his bed.). So Wataru grabs his coat, quickly goes to tell the inn-keepers he's "bringing retuening the princess to ger people" (Tori doesn't know if he liked the bird comparison better or not).

The way back is still very tense because Tori does not dare to walk next to Wataru (he's sketchy it's not Toris fault it's a normal reaction) and so he just awkwardly walks behind him, He doesn't really watch his surroundings - it is dark and the only nice thing is that it's snowing and there are animal sounds and they are spooky and he needs to watch the way and it's easier to think that way - until suddenly he gets hit by a snowball right in the head. And he is so baffled by this that he just stares at Wataru, and Wataru grins at him with his stupid stupid grin and somehow they end up in a snowball fight on this meadow where the only reason you can see anything is because of the snow and when they finally arrive at the mansion they both have so much snow in their hair and their clothes are wet from the melted snow and when they knock on the door and wait for someone to open Wataru gets some of the snow out of Toris hair and says that that snowball fight can be their little shared secret and Tori grins back at him and agrees and when the door opens and both of them are frantically ushered in by a maid that tells another one to get Yuzuru and Eichi Tori decides that maybe this guy isn'r so bad after all. Maybe he's actually quite nice.

[11cupids-tarot11]

A Letter From Your Future Spouse

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1 -> 4

Cupid's Services Cupid's Master List Socials

Tips appreciated!

C@sh app and P@ypal only!

$minnieplant3

@janellec03

LOVE U

- Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

︻デ═一 ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Pile 1- Four of Wands, The Fool, Page of Swords, Nine of Cups, Page of Wands, The Wheel of Fortune.

"Hi you! I've been sleeping a lot, can't seem to do anything else lately because of how tired I've been. Finally. I can sleep as much as I want to now because of a situation that just so happened to end recently. Death.

What now? See, I've been wondering the same thing. But let's not even worry about it, let's just sleep as much as we want to because we finally can, even if it's only a little nap time out of your day do it because I gotta see you one last time later, I've got a message for you in your dreams. Spirit will tell you, don't worry about missing it or when <3

Resting so much so when I do have to work, you know, find that balance again between work and fun, I can focus on what's so important to me a lot better, I mean really give it my all... You know? Lol

Sorry, I dream a lot, you might notice my head is always in the clouds. I have very air energy like a Gemini.

Things are finally clearing up for me! I feel at peace, maybe we mirror each other and things are also getting better for you too? You have to let me know, okay? I feel like I can finally breathe again, be optimistic without being scared the rug is going to get snatched from underneath.

I've been working so so hard on my craft, putting in so much love and effort into my work and I feel really hopeful that all of my productivity will pay off soon, consistency is key, right?

I really like the color yellow, 😄 talk again soon!"

Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to do the poll below 👇🏾 ✨

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Pile 2- Knight of Wands, I forgot to write down the rest of the cards I'm so sorry 😞

"I have no problem with putting in hard work for anything I want, even you, you know? If you don't want me the moment we catch eyes I'll make you ;)

The moment I catch you I'm going to make sure I never stop loving you, I'll make sure every day is beautiful, even on our bad days we'll kiss each other good night before bed still. I love you!

Why do you keep worrying yourself? All of that doubt in that pretty little head of yours isn't good, you should lay it all to rest before you make yourself sick baby. Sleep more, practice some self care before you run yourself crazy, okay?

I'm so proud of you, you know, for whatever amazing things you've accomplished lately. I believe in you, I'll always be your #1 cheerleader!

You should go out and celebrate! Enjoy the sun, you deserve it my angel! Promise me you won't let this go by like it's just not that big and you'll go out and do something? Pinky promise?

Stay focused! You're on the right path, you're doing amazing! I promise you, all of this will be worth it, it's worth our future 💓 keep going, I know you can do it! 🎉"

Hope you enjoy!!☺️ Don't forget to do the poll below!!

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Pile 3- Queen of Cups, Justice, Four of Cups, The Moon, Three of Swords, The Star.

" Hi my love, you know I don't talk a lot haha, so I'll make this quick as usual and get out of your hair so you can go on.

I just want to remind you, you're my queen, my favorite, my whole world ❤️ I think red looks really pretty on you btw but anyway, I love and miss you like crazy at times like these.

I am going through something right now, a legal situation, a situation I wish would come to an end right now because it's so heavy on me, it's hurting me but I know at the same time it's happening to me because it's part of my karma, something that's forcing me to look so closely at myself, at every shadow because I think it leads me to you. My everything. We're going to get married, I'm so sure of it.

I'm keeping hope alive, I'm hanging on to every thread of it I've got. I'm working on everything right now, I'll catch up with you soon sweetheart 💋 I'm going to kiss you when I do, you won't be able to get rid of me. ;) "

Hope you enjoy! Don't forget to do the poll below!!

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Pile 4- Ace of Cups, The Hanged Man, King of Wands, Nine of Cups, Knight of Cups, Nine of Wands.

"I want to come to you with amazing news but I can't, I'm sorry to say, I've taken a turn for the worst right now. Don't worry, it's temporary.

I am slowly building myself back up, that's what I'm doing right now if you're wondering what I've been doing all this time. I'm healing day by day and I hope you are too sweetheart. I might be a bit stuck and tangled up right now, but I'm clearing through it!

I'm the kind of guy who will pursue you with nothing but kindness until I make you fall for me with your charm, I'm cute, I know I am, you'll love me, I have curly light hair, and a really cute smile. You'll think I'm so adorable.

I want to offer my heart to you, fully, 100%. You have me, all of me as long as you give me you in return, I hope you do, I can't be without you once I know you.

Take care my love ❤️."

Hope you enjoyed ❤️ Don't forget to do the poll below!!

[swordsandarms]

"Why did Rhaegar leave a whole THREE Kingsguards with Lyanna? Why did he leave Jaime, A CHILD, to PROTECT his family? Why wasn't Arthur, a DORNISH man, with Elia?"

These or other individual questions about the Kingsguards during the Rebellion era keep coming up every now and then. Usually, it concerns questioning Rhaegar's motivations, sometimes even Jaime's morality or culpability, as well as the morality of said Kingsguards.

But I was having a conversation with some fans and it comes down to the same issue: no one considers the Targaryen politics at the time, and fragment these circumstances in shallow bits and pieces, naturally, coming down to "there's no good explanation for this!"

Everyone hates that these two Targaryen men have genuine character complexity, especially in rapport with eachother: Rhaegar and Aerys.

Let's go over the Kingsguard at the end of Aerys' reign, and actually consider allegiance and what the mean, and how those would actually easily explain a lot-

Jon Darry, Darry cousin: unclear loyalty, when it comes down to the Aerys-Rhaegar conflict. Darrys are without a doubt Targaryen men, but we don't know if and who they would choose. Darrys are most of all connected with Viserys and Rhaella, who are very sheltered from the rest of the world all the same. Darrys might have been sideline in the Aerys-Rhaegar conflict by such default then, and eventually Jon would be sent to the Trident anyway. But then again, unquestionable loyalty to House Targaryen sounds like a traditionalist approach.

Arthur Dayne: Rhaegar's man without a doubt. His oldest and closest friend.

Oswell Whent: Rhaegar's man. He's with him at the Tower and rumours are his family conspired alongside him to get the Lords at Harrenhal to stage Aerys' usurpation.

Gerold Hightower, Comander: King's (Aerys') man. The scene at the King's doors is often brought up in discussions about the ethics of the KG. But it actually also unveils a key political information within the Aerys-Rhaegar factions. Whether it's a matter of adhering to the status quo only, or personal allegiance to Aerys as well, the message is clear: even when it's between two royals, it's the King he will stand by, no matter what, even when he's not in the right (and if his son tries to usurp him, then technically he is).

Barristan Selmy: Barristan undergoes a character development during the main series in which he finally questions unquestionable allegiance to a King no matter their morality. A past Barristan, however, would then resemble a Ser Gerold, and be in the King's (Aerys) service before anything by virtue of duty. Notably, he would later reflect that Rhaegar did not find him fit to be in his confidence, and these expectations are probably why.

Lewyn Martell: Easily Elia's and Rhaegar's man, and Dornish. Noted as being in his confidence.

Jaime Lannister: One that causes a lot of controversy. A lot of back and forth discussion as to what expectations Rhaegar had of Jaime (and whether Jaime himself fulfilled them). The answer can actually be seen easily by:

1. Looking at it with the awareness that there was a faction divide existed in the KG in between Aerys and Rhaegar, as it was building up to a conflict and hence-

2. Reading their last conversation with that in mind

The day had been windy when he said farewell to Rhaegar, in the yard of the Red Keep. The prince had donned his night-black armor, with the three-headed dragon picked out in rubies on his breastplate. “Your Grace,” Jaime had pleaded, “let Darry stay to guard the king this once, or Ser Barristan. Their cloaks are as white as mine."

Prince Rhaegar shook his head. “My royal sire fears your father more than he does our cousin Robert. He wants you close, so Lord Tywin cannot harm him. I dare not take that crutch away from him at such an hour.”

Jaime’s anger had risen up in his throat. “I am not a crutch. I am a knight of the Kingsguard.”

“Then guard the king,” Ser Jon Darry snapped at him. “When you donned that cloak, you promised to obey.”

Rhaegar had put his hand on Jaime’s shoulder. “When this battle’s done I mean to call a council. Changes will be made. I meant to do it long ago, but … well, it does no good to speak of roads not taken. We shall talk when I return.”

For one, Jaime is the last KG left in King's Landing, and one to be kept close to Aerys himself. And Rhaegar is taking him into his confidence before he leaves - he is pretty much talking treason, hinting at usurpation upon his return.

Why did he leave Jaime, A CHILD, to PROTECT his family?

First of all, he doesn't leave Jaime himself in that post. As seen above, Aerys calls the shots. We know from the Ice and Fire "history book" that he sent Lewyn away from Elia as well for being Dornish (while before he was stationed with her and the kids on Dragonstone in Rhaegar's absence) and he commands Jaime to stay. As it appears, he also sends Darry and Selmy with him (with Selmy being a traditionalist at the time, it may even be to keep an eye on Rhaegar).

Rhaegar doesn't have a choice of whom to ask to look out for Elia and the children, no matter which KG would've been in town. He makes that clear. And as to expectations he has of the only one left and whom he can have a word with, while Jaime is, yes, by all means considered a grown man in their society AND a capable soldier who's well trained and already been in combat, he's not asking for Jaime to stand between his family and an army or anything.

There's not meant to be an army. That's meant to be Rhaegar's job to prevent. He's going out to battle. He's meant to give Robert a honorable single combat, prove himself as strong and fair - unlike the mockery of a "trial by combat" Aerys gave Rickard. Hence prove himself unlike his father first of all, probably give his explanations about Lyanna, and also make it clear he's against Aerys' actions and wanting to give the justice by deposing him.

No, Rhaegar isn't irresponsible, dumping that burden on younger Jaime. He does the responsible thing of taking all that upon himself. What does he expect of Jaime? As read above, he does not put Jaime in the mindset of a fighting machine that's supposed to save his family from anything unrealistic. He puts him in the mindset of someone who would be his man and oppose Aerys when the time comes - he's meant to be the one threat to his family when the chips fall down and he is taking the throne.

Whatever reading Rhaegar did of Jaime, he thought he could say those words to him (that would've been dangerous if he were wrong), that Jaime would have it in him to turn against Aerys (again not some ridiculous expectation - a frail man). And Rhaegar is clearly not dumb. He was right in his perception, wasn't he? (Is this where Jon Snow gets his amazing perceptive skills - "little his eyes do not see").

Why wasn't Arthur, a DORNISH man, with Elia?

Why would he be allowed to? We've already established Aerys calls the shots. And among them there's one KG specifically being sent away because he's Dornish and hence loyal to Elia (and Rhaegar). If Lewyn couldn't be there, why would Arthur?

Why did Rhaegar leave a whole THREE Kingsguards with Lyanna?

That is something I couldn't understand for a long time, too. Not only the specific number, but the fact that clearly Rhaegar can't just do whatever he wants with the Kingsguard. Why was this allowed?

It doesn't make sense until you go back to the Aerys-Rhaegar allegiance divide above. The three are Gerold (most loyal Aerys appears to have) and Arthur and Oswell (most loyal Rhaegar appears to have).

Gerold came from King's Landing to take Rhaegar. Oswell and Arthur would have already been with him. Either-

1. Gerold was sent with the order to stay behind with Lyanna. Aerys already took hold of Elia and the kids to control Dorne (and Rhaegar) and would have her in the hands of his most obedient man, too. Rhaegar cannot let that happen, as he plans to turn against Aerys while he's away. If he can't send Gerold away, he makes the compromise of leaving two of his own. One only would have been uncertain odds, but if Gerold eventually acts up when things unravel, he's outnumbered. Arthur and Oswell can do what they have to do and they are in an isolated location and can lie about it later to protect their honor.

2. Gerold wasn't meant to stay behind. But since Rhaegar is decided to depose Aerys, removing him from Aerys is an opportunity. Aerys/Gerold can be lured with the illusion of having a hold on Lyanna. Rhaegar had to leave someone (trustworthy) with her regardless but compromises his own numbers for the same reasoning above, if it means removing a barrier from between him and Aerys. Aerys would be blindsided in allowing in from that same perspective: Rhaegar is made to leave crucial allies behind.

[g0ldenzinnie]

Unstoppable

Couple: Mark x fem!reader Genre: fluff; a little bit suggestive; a little dramatic, but who doesn't want a little drama Sinopse: At the end of a horrible day, your boyfriend makes a surprise just for you. DISCLAIMER: This is my first fic, and I hope it will be the first of many more. And also English it's my second language so have mercy on me. Word count: 5,6 k; I recommend listening to https://spotify.link/QPWm3Rr44Db while you read it <3

You had a bad day. No, sorry, a terrible day. 

First, you overslept. It wasn’t your fault your phone discharged over the night, because you connected the charger wrong. Your class started half an hour ago, but you were still in your apartment, trying to pull your pants up while brushing your teeth. When you got to campus, you were a sweating mess since you had to run to reach the bus. When you enter the classroom slamming the door accidentally, the teacher looked at you like you disrespect him in three languages, however he still continued. You sat down and opened your bag, then you realized you forgot your notebook at home, due to your late night studying and the reason for your oversleeping. That was the second thing that made your day into a nightmare, the final test. In a few minutes, you would have to face the test that would define your future as an engineer, further to top it all you forgot your notes at home. It didn't matter now, you just had to deal with it. You plug your phone under the desk, which for your luck every desk had a uni, and look at your missing messages. That is when you noticed the third thing that was making your day horrible. Your lock screen showed a happy blond boy playing the guitar, you smiled, having a nostalgic feeling in your chest. Mark lee, your boyfriend. You were barely together, since your different schedules and busy calendars. Besides, when you were together, you are so exhausted that you only watch movies on the couch and order takeout. It is not that you didn’t like it, it’s just that you missed having quality time with your boyfriend. You saw in your notifications three missed messages from Mark. 

“Good morning baby ❤️” “Good luck today I know you're gonna kill it” “I miss you ;c” 

You smile at the last messages, you feel comfort knowing that he missed you too. You respond. “Hey baby” “I miss you too bub, I just want to finish this test and see you”

You haven’t seen him in weeks. As you were focused on your career, Mark was focused on his. Now text messages were the only way of communicating. 

“I know princess, but I have rehearsal all day.” You let out a groan. One day they will kill him with so much work. 

“It’s okay baby, we can meet another time.” “Just be careful please.” “I don’t want you to pass out”

You responded, but you knew it was helpless. Even if the king himself from England order your boyfriend to stop overworking… he would probably apologize in a very polite matter and go against his order. You knew your golden boy wasn't unbreakable. Occasionally he would call you in the middle of the night just to hear your voice, and get the motivation that he needed. Despite that, he didn't complain a bit. Mark was the kind of person to torture himself, just to not let down the people that depend on him. Sadly, you were that kind of people. You needed to see his face, to hear his voice, you needed him.

“It’s like you don’t even know me baby” “I'm unstoppable”

He sends you a sticker of a bunny flexing his arms, and you laugh out loud. Your teacher sees you with a penetrating look and goes back to the board. Again, you look down over your phone, trying to respond.

“So you’re a superhero then?” “Or a super villain? Were you trying to steal my heart all this time?” “Is this your evil plan?”

 You replied, hoping it would make him laugh. You used to think that when he laughed, one of the most beautiful sounds in the world was produced. 

“A villain, never” “Actually, I am a superhero who is at your side in your time of need.” “I am Spider-Man 🕷️”

You smiled at the cuteness of your boy. You knew his obsession with Spider-man, actually on his birthday you made him a surprise party in his room and decorated it with that theme. He still considers it to be one of his favorite birthday parties. You didn’t have a chance to reply to him when another message came along. 

“I just wish I could use my power to come and see you. So then I could hug you, and give you a kiss.”

You feel the heat coming to your face as you blush. You replied instantly. 

“Just one?”

“Definitely more than one.” “And definitely not just in your lips” 

You let out a giggle, then drop your phone. Mark could be cheesy when he set his mind to it. Your attention to the class was gone long ago. 

“I'm losing focus Mark” “You’re gonna make me fail this class”

“Sorry baby” “But dude, seriously I really need you”“I miss our dates, not like watching movies and eat (which I love, don't get me wrong)” “But like real dates, you know? Like going out somewhere, or doing something else”

Your mode went down, owing to the text. You didn’t want him to feel like this. Some days you asked yourself if this is what torture fells like. 

“Me too baby, but we will see each other again, I know it.” “We just need more patience.” 

You were going to text him an “I love you”, when the fourth thing that made your day terrible happened. Your charger overloaded and stopped working, further your phone turned off seconds later. You put your head against the desk, feeling like a literal mess. The worst part is that when you looked up to see the clock, it was only 11:27 AM. 

After nine hours on campus, you were ready to go. The day transcurred as you predicted, horrid. The test was practically written in another language you didn’t study every night, in addition, your post anxiety didn’t help you to calm down. The only good thing that happened that day was that one of your classmates lent you their charger. When your phone started working, you found missed calls and messages from your boyfriend worried thinking something happened to you. You explained fast, leaving him with some relief. He told you to let him know when you were out on campus and as you promised, you texted him letting him know you were outside. While you wait for the bus in the freezing and dark night, he called you. 

“Hey baby” 

“Why are they keeping you in campus at this hour?” He said worried. You let out a sigh, tired. Not from him, but from this disgusting day. 

“My insufferable teacher, who didn't let us go before he could end the whole lesson. You should have seen it babe. I thought that literal vapor would come out of his ears when we told him we were supposed to go” You replied laughing, trying to ease your mind. But your boyfriend was doing it for you. Just by hearing his voice, you felt your body more relaxed. But you didn't hear a laugh in return. So you started to worry. Little did you knew that your golden boy's mind was working like a machine. 

“Where are you?” He asks, knowing the answer since he knew you, and your routine like the palm of his hand. 

“I’m at the bus stop, why?”  You respond, looking around at the emptiness of the street. You wait for his answer, yet instead you receive a hung up sound. He cut the call. You thought it was some connection issue, but he didn’t answer your calls, nor your texts. 

“Baby, what happened? Are you okay”“Babe”“Mark, I’m serious, what is going on?”“Dude, answer your phone.”

It passed two minutes after your last text when a black car made a turn in the corner of the street, coming in your direction. Since the street was silent, you could hear the loud music coming from inside. You let it pass, you thought it was a random car like other ones. It was when the car stopped in front of you and the window rolled down, when you realized it wasn’t random. Your vision showed your boyfriend seated in the backseat with a microphone in his hand. You cross your arms and raise an eyebrow, trying to act pissed since he didn’t answer your phone. Still inside of you, you were jumping out of happiness because he was there in front of you.

“Your hero to the rescue.” 

He said with the mic. You couldn't contain your smile, you wanted to hug him, however you didn't even have to take a step. He jumped out of the car and tucked you in, with his arms around your waist, resting his head in the crook of your neck. You wrapped your arms around his, feeling the tears coming to your eyes. You could feel his warmth and cologne, just the way you remembered. He took a step back and took your face gently. He looked at you with so much worship and caring, that you felt your heart melting in the process.

“My beautiful girl” He whispered before he kissed you with all his being. Desperate, but not rough. Full of love and adoration. You respond, enclosing your fingers in his hair. Everything in the world didn’t matter. What happened during the day was forgotten. He was finally there, kissing your lips, pulling you close, needed for your touch like you needed his. It was until the car honked as you returned to reality. Mark broke the kiss and nodded at the driver. He rush to take your hand and pulled you into the car. 

“Let's go, I have a whole date planned just for you.” You smile confused, stepping into the car and closing the door. 

“Baby, nothing is going to be open at this hour on a Monday.” You say, before noticing the things in the car. 

“Who said we were going somewhere?” You didn't know how, but there were disco lights illuminating the inside of the car. Also, your favorite snacks were in the middle seat. The driver who started moving the car couldn't be seen because of the wall separating the front and back of the car.

“Mark, what is this?” He just gives you the other mic and another kiss on your lips as you were distracted. His hand was in the nape of your neck, with his fingers wrapping your hair gently. Your breathing became heavier, pulling him close, grabbing the collar of his sweatshirt. He breaks the kiss and rest on your forehead. Smiling he responds.

“We are going to have a karaoke date. I need to practice my voice, you need to release stress. It's the perfect match.” He turns on the mic and takes out his phone to show you a playlist. You let out a gasp as your heart wrinkles. The playlist name was “For my Angel”, and it was full of your favorite songs. Even your favorite versions. “What do you say?” He asks with his mic, leaving a funny eco behind. You smile and turn on yours. 

“I say let's do this” You claim as you pressed play and a song of Olivia Rodrigo started to sound in the speakers. “Oh my god, babe, you know me so well” Shouting of excitement, you start to sing into the mic. Mark laughs and joins you, since one month ago when the album dropped, you made him learn the lyrics. You laugh, not believing this was happening. One moment ago, you thought you would declare this day to be the worst day of your life. However, the boy next to you, trying to sing in falsetto, made a 180-degree turn of it. 

Both of you didn't care about what you sounded like, you were just goofing around and singing like your souls were ripping apart. After thirty minutes of singing, rapping and dancing, you’re tired and ask Mark to sing a solo. Since he loved karaoke, and you, he agreed gladly. Even when his throat started to feel dry. That was one of the things you loved about Mark. He always put his soul into things. It didn’t matter what it was or how, he always put his 100%. You smile at him trying to hit a high note of one of Justin Bieber songs, and let out a laugh in the process. You take his hand and caress it with your thumb, he looks at you surprised and stops singing. “What's wrong?”

“I love you” You whispered, hypnotized in his eyes. He smiles and leans over, holding your chin, gently giving you a kiss. It was slow and gentle, his lips were soft against yours, and they were moving with synchrony. Like he knew you in and out, what you needed, indeed. He broke the kiss, leaving a centimeter between you two, while he takes a lock of your hair and puts it behind your ear.

“I love you too” He replied also in a whisper looking at your face carefully, like he wanted to remember every single freckle or other aspect of your face. As he hasn't done it already. He first looks at your lips, the temptation incarnate. Nothing was as distracting and beautiful as your lips, simply he loved that. Then he looks up to your cheeks and nose. He loved to kiss them, to him, they were the cutest thing on your face. Then finally, he looks at your eyes. His favorite thing on planet earth. He claimed that they were as beautiful and unique as the sky. He always told you those things, many times before. Still, he repeated them, to make sure you remember how beautiful you are. You let out a nervous laugh because of his piercing look and lean your head, confused.  

“What?” He shakes his head as if it’s something stupid. “Just… I missed you so much.” He says as leans over to give you a kiss on the forehead. “So much” 

You feel his warm breathing in your left cheek as he goes down to kiss it. Then he does the same with your other cheek, before making a final move, laying a kiss on the top of your nose. He was taking his time filling your face with love and affection, like it was the last thing he was able to do. “I swear, I just can’t get enough of you” He says in the corner of your lips to place another kiss. You smile and try to look away from the embarrassment. His hands went again to your chin to make you look at him. You look at his lips, feeling in the inside of your body the tension you two missed over the last days. His gaze of pure affection makes you feel warm in your chest and butterflies in your lower stomach. He stays inches away from your lips, waiting for your approval, but clearly to you, he didn’t need it. You bend closer to him, eliminating the space between you two, pressing your lips together. Your hand was on his cheek, passing your fingers against his hair, while the other one was on his chest. Mark grabs your waist with a firm grip, approaching you to him. The kiss was desperate, full of passion, nothing like the past ones. “Come here” He whispers raspy, breaking the kiss to take air as he pushes you to his lap. Chills come down your spine when you listen to his tone. You put your legs around his body, your hands in the back of his neck. This time, he starts the kiss by grabbing your hair with one hand and the other one still holding your waist. He was moving his lips slowly but with a hungry matter, helpless by your body on top of him. Your body feels hotter by every move of your boyfriend, full of emotions forgotten through your days apart. As a reaction to all of this, you left out a whimper against his lips, leaving him enough space for him to enter his tongue to your mouth. You move your waist a little to feel him more, instantly, Mark groans in your mouth as a reaction. “Don’t tease me baby, please” He whispers, lowering his mouth to get to your neck. He presses his lips against your soft and now hot skin with a wet kiss, biting a little to taunt you. You bite your lower lip trying to stay quiet, he knew your weak point. “Now who is teasing?” You say mocking him. He laughs, leaving a warm sight that gives you chills. Then goes back to your lips fervently, his hands moving past your body without any shame. Yours were in his neck, trying to pull him closer with the nonexistent distance you had. When his hands were going under your shirt, you heard a knock in the wall that separated the two parts of the car. You stop instantly, looking at Mark with panic in your eyes. Reality hits you like cold water, you weren’t alone. Obviously, you forgot that. 

“What?” Your boyfriend asked, pissed because your moment was interrupted. “Mister Lee, you have five minutes. Then we have to go back to the company.” Mark cusses underneath his breath and closes his eyes. Now you understand why he was acting like he didn’t have enough time. He actually didn’t have it. “Okay, just… just keep driving, please.” He says, in conflict with himself, grabbing his temple. The car moved with the same speed as before. “I’m sorry I didn't tell you.” He says without looking at you with embarrassment. “They just gave me an hour recess, the members stayed at the company but I just… I just really wanted to see you” You were pissed, but not at him. You were mad at the universe, for tearing both apart. For the unfair situation. But you were not going to spend the last five minutes with your boyfriend for god knows how long, making a fuss. So you grab his chin to make him look at you. His gaze was angry, as also sad. The same feelings you had. You lean your forehead against his and close your eyes, sensing his skin with all your faculties. “It's okay. It doesn’t matter now.” His breathing got heavier as he shook his head. You also knew him like the palm of your hand. You knew his anxiety of the future was caving in. His mind having all the questions both of you didn’t have an answer. “Hey, focus on me.” You say, leaning a hand in his chest, the other one still in his head. You breathe calmly, trying for him to follow you. It’s difficult, but he does it with time. Then you start talking.

 “I love you. Nothing matters. That’s the only thing you need to think about now. Okay?” He doesn’t do anything, still with his eyes closed trying to keep his breath under control, you fear he is going to have a panic attack. After a while, he nods. You smile and give him a quick kiss. “You’re unstoppable.” He smiles remembering his text and opens his eyes, finally looking at you. “We are” he states, looking at you directly, with a gaze you think is full of starlight. You feel tears in your throat, but you swallow them. You don’t want to cry now. “That’s my golden boy” You gave him another kiss, this time longer but sweet. He stays still for a second, then wraps his arms around your body in a hug, breathing hard for the strong emotions inside him. If he had the power, he would steal you right now, and hide you where no one or nothing could stop him from loving you, over and over. You separate and rest on his forehead. He caressed your nose with his, then lefts a giggle out of his mouth. 

“How about one more song?” You say, grabbing his phone to look for one specific thing. He leans his head confused and tries to take a look, but you move away from his gaze. “C’mon, babe, let me see.” He says sulky, you laugh and shake your head. “You’ll see. Just wait a mo - oh, there it is.” You press play and the intro of Locked out of heaven from Bruno Mars starts to play. Mark leans his head back and screams. “Yo! Babe, that's my song!” You smile and start to get out of his lap, however, he pulls you back, holding your waist. “Where are you going? Sing with me.” He grabs the mic and starts to sing the first line, before leaning the mic to you to sing the second. You follow his dynamic with a goofy smile and start to sing, moving your head. When the song hits the chorus, the two of you sing in the same mic, enjoying yourselves totally. Screaming the lyrics to each other because you felt like you were locked out of heaven because of each other. As your love felt wrong and incorrect, clearly the world practically was keeping you apart, it felt so good. Like two angels intertwined on a mission to find and love one another. The bridge was coming along and Mark made a howling sound to the ceiling, you laughed and followed him, feeling more alive than ever. “Are you ready baby?” He asks, moving his head to the rhythm. You nod, smiling at him, watching how his excitement was filling his body. “Okay, let’s go!” He shouts before singing the bridge with you. You feel like all the happiness in the world was headed your way. Closing your eyes, singing your heart out with the man you loved. You look at him just when you both sang, “Can I just stay here?! Spend the rest of my days here?!” You observed how the veins of his neck were pumping out since he sang so loudly. His eyes closed, shrinking, trying to hit the right note. You smile, watching your boyfriend be happy before he goes. He then looks at you and locks his gaze with yours, holding your hand tight while the other still held the mic. Basically, the only thing that was separating your lips. Then he presses his forehead against yours to feel closer to you. “Can I just stay here?! Spend the rest of my days here?! Cause you make me feel like, I’ve looked out of heaven” You both sing to the mic, smiling and actually begging to god or whatever is up there, to let you stay with each other. You feel the tears coming to your eyes because this moment was about to end. You could barely sing anymore, so you stop and put your hand against your face. Mark drops the mic, letting the last part of the song go, to hold the back of your head and let you rest in his shoulder. You let yourself go and cry without any shame. Your boyfriend feels the tears coming as well, however he didn’t drop any of them. His concentration was fully into you. He kept stroking your hair and kissing your cheek repeatedly. With your fingers, you start to hold strongly to his sleeves. Believing, he wouldn't go away for that, unfortunately you and him didn't control that. 

The car stopped, and you started shaking your head, knowing what's coming next. “Baby” Marks whispers in your ear, fondling the back of your head with one hand and the other one on your waist. “Just one second” You instantly responded, holding him close without looking at him. You thought that if you did, your heart would break more than it already is. “Baby please, I need to-” “Just, just give a moment” Another knock from the wall came. “Mister Lee, we’re outside the company. You need to get out of the car” Mark was really trying to hold himself together at this point. “Give me one minute, please” He says with his jaw clenched, trying not to break something. “Y/n, please look at me. I’m not gonna forgive myself if you don't” He begs you, raising his hand to your cheek to separate you from his shoulder. You do, but you still look down sobbing, while looking at his chest. The heart of your boyfriend was broken by seeing you like this. He pressed his cheeks against yours, attempting to form a connection with you. He needed you to look at him, one last time. “Please y/n. Look at me” By his implore, you raise your gaze and meet his dark eyes. You instantly broke and Mark does it with you. “When you’ll be back?” You ask, wiping his tears away. He does the same with you, his lips forming a line. “I don't know. I have to stay at the dorm for the promotion, and then they want to do another comeback with dream.” You cursed and look at the ceiling, trying to stop your crying. “Hey, hey, no, no. We won't say goodbye like this.” He says, holding your head with his hands on your cheeks, making you look down. You close your eyes and cup his hand. “I don't want to say goodbye.” You whisper, finally opening your eyes. The man in front of you was tired. Of his schedule, his tireless work, and most importantly tired of being apart from you. A strong kiss closed the distance between both, and his breathing left strong through his nose. The kiss felt wet and salty because of your tears. Your hands were on the side of his head, pushing him to you. Mark deepened the kiss and you followed him gladly.  Both of you didn't want to separate, but sadly, breathing was necessary for you. When you broke the kiss, Mark says in your lips after. “Sorry, I said it wrong.” You look at him confused, as a response he gives you a quick kiss before saying. “It's a see you soon”.

The tears were appearing again, but he focused on kissing you. His hands were hugging your back, pulling you closer together. Your lips were in synchrony, however, they were interrupted by a knock on the window. “Dude, I say a minute please” Marks says against your lips trying to continue, suddenly the door open and shown your boyfriend's teammate, Johnny. “Hey y/n.” He says flirty, leaning his body to the door of the car. You feel the blood rising to your checks, and try to hide it in the neck of your boyfriend. “Hi” you say, still there. “Johnny, what are you doing here?” Mark ask, putting his hand in your hair to caress it. A laugh comes from the best friend of your boyfriend. “Taeyong is calling us to the practice room.” You also hear a pause, like he's taking it time to say what's next. “Sorry man, but we have to go. Now” You know he means it. Johnny was one of the first to support your relationship. He wanted to see Mark happy, same as you. So you thank him silently when he closed the door after he said. “You have 30 seconds to do whatever you please. But dude, I'm serious, 30 seconds.” Mark nods and sighs. You feel Jonny walking away a little, to give you space, and Mark started talking. “We don't have much time.” “I know” You answer, leaving his lap for good. He lets out a groan of disapproval, but you better step off now. You both stay quiet for a few seconds, just looking at each other, feeling each other hands. It was you who started the conversation. “What I told you before, it wasn't a lie” He settles to the side to see you better. “I know, but I can’t stop thinking about the damage that this is causing.” You get close and took his face. “Better to be like this together, than being apart” He analyzed you, trying to see any regret on your face, nevertheless, he didn’t find anything. “Unstoppable, remember?” You state, smiling, Mark gives you a little laugh and nod with his head. He leans closer to your face and kiss you gently, pulling a piece of your hair behind your ear. After you separate, you rest in his shoulder, with Mark leaving kisses in your forehead. “I love you” he whispers, caressing your arm with his fingertips, giving you chills in the process. “I love you too” you respond, giving him a kiss in the shoulder. He holds you close by wrapping his arms around you and placing his head on top of yours. You stay like that for a while.

After a few seconds, you hear a knock on the window. “Dude, I can’t extend this any longer.” Mark sighs and separates from you. Jonny leans against the car to wait for him. “See you soon?” Mark says, putting his hand against your check. “Yeah” you whisper before kissing him. The door opens and Johnny pulls Mark by the sleeve outside the car. “Let's go Romeo” He says, pushing him to the doors of the company. He almost trips by his best friend strength, but manage to stay on his feet. He turns and waves at you, walking backwards before entering the company. Your heart breaks by every step he took, and you let the tears that remain in your system fall in your face. “I had to take him out, if I didn't, he would probably run away with you.” Johnny states gently. You sniff and nod. “We don’t want that” You say looking at him, the expression he gave you was comprehensive. He shakes his head softly. “No, we don’t” What's best for Mark, apart from knowing him, that was the reason Johnny and you were friends. “The car is gonna drop you at home, so just try to relax. Okay?” He tells you, placing his arm against the door frame. You nod and try to wipe your tears and smile. “Take care of him for me, would you?” He laughs and nods. “It won’t be long, you know? It’s just because you love each other so much, that you think it is going to be an eternity before you see each other.” You giggle and sigh, resting your back on the seat. You suddenly felt tired. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” You respond, closing your eyes in the process. Johnny reads your body and leaves a small smile. “Have a safe travel, y/n” He says before closing the door. Yet before he closed the door you say “Thank you, Johnny, for everything.” You didn't see him, but he smiles at you with carrying and closes the door. After you hear two knocks on the roof of the car, this started moving. Your body felt palled after all those emotions, and you started to get sleepy. Before your whole system could go to the lands of dreams, you remember the words of Johnny. With a smile on your face, you start to feel hope. Believing truly that it won't be long before you see your golden boy again.

3 weeks later. 

Your legs were heavier than ever trying to climb the stairs of your building. Since you were on vacation, you decided to have a job full time in the cafeteria a few blocks away. Obviously now, you were regretting your decision. But hey, at least the money is always good. When you reach your floor, you feel relieve. At least, it was Friday. So you would have the whole weekend to relax. Sadly, you would have to do that alone. Mark was still busy with his calendar, however, he called every night to check on you. So you didn’t felt so sad about his absence.  When you get to your door, you open your bag pack to find your keys. The panic started to rise when you didn't find them there. You also opened the front pocket but again nothing. You curse and kick the door, angry. Now you had to look for the locksmith downstairs, which meant you had to experience the pain of your legs all over again. Just because you forgot your keys inside, when you left the apartment in the morning. When you started to walk away, preparing yourself for torture, you feel the door open. You turn scared believing it was a ghost, however the surprise came in when you see your boyfriend, leaning in the door frame holding your keys with his finger. “Your hero to the rescue, again.” He says with the raspy voice you missed. You gasp, covering your mouth in surprise. Your brain couldn’t load the information that was happening. “Dude, you're kidding” You say, still with your hand on your mouth. He smiles at how cute your reaction is. “I'm not.” In a quick movement, he takes your arm to pull you to him and give you a passionate kiss. His lips moving, with hunger and desire. Your tiredness and lack of motivation stop from existing. Your backpack drops from your shoulder but Mark grabs it quickly with one hand. The other one was reaching down your lower back, pulling you closer to feel him more. He breaks the kiss to go lower to your neck. You bit your lip to not let any embarrassed sound come out, since you were still in the hallway. “Inside now” You whisper with need in his ear. He grins against your neck and pulls you to the apartment to not waste any more time to love you. 

[yourpenpaldee]

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ A BRIEF WIPS OVERVIEW.

Hello! I am not good with deadlines, especially when I set them myself. This post was supposed to be up three days ago, but it’s finally here! I’m very excited to share these projects as they were all created from different periods of my life, going back four years at the most.

These will be very short intros, but each WIP mentioned here will have a proper, detailed post when it’s time. The projects also aren’t listed in sequential order of when I’ll post about them with the exception of the first WIP.

A heads-up, most of these are romance since I used to write only romance. It was only about two years ago since I decided to finally branch out, and those stories will be coming soon! For now, I still have to figure out how to write characters that have a way higher IQ than I do…

On we go to the WIPs!

WHEN ART TALKS

— currently undergoing the first draft. — first person — a college romance where a reserved poet who is afraid of public perception connects with an outspoken musician due to their preference on using words as their art medium. — contains late night walk convos, cigarette smoking, passionate rambles, and microwaved meals. — “‘Why do we care about them when it’s our story to tell? We live our truth, we speak our truth, and we have to trust that it’s good enough because it’s all we got. The message will be received by those who are meant to hear it.’”

BLIND SECOND CHANCES

— currently undergoing the first draft. — dual first person — an adult romance in which ex-friends turned (unofficial) ex-lovers from high school decide to explore the old feelings that resurface when crossing paths eight years later. — lots of reminiscing, betrayal, weekly wine nights, and fancy dates. — “‘You’re holding onto a love from a situation where we didn’t even know our place in the world yet. We spent nearly eight years growing into the people we are now, so you need to be prepared for our dynamic to look and feel different because we aren’t the same kids we once were.’”

TO NEW BEGINNINGS

— brainstorming complete, drafting to begin soon. — third person, still deciding on the type — an adult romance story of a woman who decides it’s time to start over on a blank canvas, and meets a booked and busy workaholic along the way. — roller skating, painting, solo adventures, and plant shopping. — “‘It’s scary to deviate from your current life and start anew when your life no longer serves you or your purpose. But I’m not equipped for misery, so I’ll be damned trying to save a life that lost the chance of saving forever ago.’”

UNTITLED ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

— currently a 3am one-liner, brainstorming begins soon — pov to be determined, leaning towards third person limited. — an apocalyptic fiction where a teenage girl fights everyday to survive in an ongoing zombie apocalypse with hopes of finding her younger sister. — found family, zombie slaying, survival vs. morality, and, uh… death. — “She looked at every colorless home she walked by and wondered what stories could be told. What every stored memory that slipped through the cracks consisted of and the emotions they’d provoke. If the lives that once occupied these spaces were unfortunately fortunate enough to make it out like she did. If they constantly watched the memories flash before their eyes as they realized those would be the last batch of joyful, painless memories; how remembering became torturous and insufferable, but is all they have to remind them of their own humanity.”

UNTITLED TWISTED BONNIE & CLYDE

— currently a 3am one-liner, brainstorming begins soon — first person peripheral or third person limited — a dark and twisted romance where two toxic lovers are at the beginning of an inevitable end and play fire with fire the entire way through. — manipulation, heists, lies, and expensive jewelry. — “The venom drips off of every word she says. She watches every last drop seep into my skin and become one with the blood that runs through my veins. How it attempts to shut down my body in hopes that I’ll beg for mercy in my final moments of weakness. That I’ll surrender my life into her hands as those soulless and apathetic eyes beam with some sick and twisted excitement. But I am sick and twisted too. We are two bodies wrapped in the same snake skin, and a snake cannot get poisoned by its own venom.”

PAST LIFE LOVER

— redoing the brainstorm process — first person or objective third person (quote will be in third person) — a soulmate, young adult romance in which a girl who no longer believes in love suddenly gets pulled in by the new barista at her favorite hangout spot. — love at first sight, breakfast deliveries, denial, and baking. lots of baking. — “Then there it was. The locking of the eyes where the inability to look away grows more and more intense with each passing second. They didn’t even know each other, but something in their eyes told them that there was a home waiting for them within each other’s souls.”

ANGEL AND KEN*

— currently on the backburner, brainstorming resumes once past life lover is complete. — prequel to past life lover. — *very much a temporary title — first person or objective third person — a 50’s historical romance where a pessimistic single mother is convinced to see the greener side of the grass by a jazz musician who looks at life through a rose-colored lens. — jazz clubs, slow dancing, tea parties, and red corvettes — “‘Why shut yourself out from the world when there are people like me that have waited for you to waltz right into their life? I know, the modern day world is frightening and filled with so much hatred that it’s hard to find happiness through it all. But people find a purpose to wake up every morning because of that one person that casts the brightest light. You’re my sun in a world full of darkness, and I hope to be the moon that reflects your light when you’re no longer visible in the sky.’”

I know I keep saying it, but I truly can’t wait to properly share these projects. I just hope everyone will enjoy reading it all and find comfort within these characters :)

I will post the the detailed summary for When Art Talks either on Monday or Tuesday (please yell at me if i don’t follow through omg), and the character intros should follow closely behind!

divider creds to strangergraphics ♡

[roleplayhonestybox]

Just some time to whine - and no, it's not that I don't understand, I do - but I just feel so frustrated and disappointed now I could cry. So here's my totally first world problem rant: My RP partner says they have finally a long weekend due to the holiday - Thursday to Sunday - and they are looking forward to write aaaaaaall four days. They make it a really big thing and talk about it and are excited. They wanna write ALL day. EVERY day. AAALL the stuff they'll be writing. Because they can't really do asymmetrical and I always need to be around for them to write. Which is fine. I can do that. Life's rough, I understand. They are American. I am not. I'm European with a hefty time difference and a full work week. So I shovel Friday completely free - cancel all appointments - and even a chunk of my Thursday work day. I can't just take them off - I need to stuff the work I would have done on Friday and that chunk from Thursday and work it off on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Which made my days extremely long and exhausting, but I thought: hey, it's for a good cause! We're going to write like the devil. All day. Every day. Thursday comes, I rush out of work, it all starts wonderfully. We're both excited. Then a problem comes up. Family stuff. Understandable. We spend the night chatting. One things leads to another, the topic gets really dark. I try to be a good friend. I try to help. I stay up until 9am in my time zone. I really don't sleep a lot that night. Friday comes, and they're exhausted. They're tired. They sleep most of the time of the day I took off for us. So we could write, like they wanted to. Saturday comes. They said they'd be around nice and early. I'm around nice and early. They aren't. They were tired and went back to sleep (and couldn't even let me know with a short message - knowing that I was waiting). The RP drags on and I spend the day waiting and waiting - for literal hours.

Sunday comes. Same spiel. They are tired. They have kids to watch. They need a nap. They need to cook.

In the end, I got one or two replies per day for the threads I got to choose. Each day, but, yeah, with me being around for roughly 15 hours for them each day, too. There are a few more replies for the quick things they wanted to do and their favourite is something I absolutely struggled through because I wanted to make them happy, but my heart's really not in it. But I want to be a good RP partner. I want to be a good friend.

So, yes, I understand. Family and real life first. There's no lack of understanding. It's a hobby. Nobody can change how tired they are. Nobody can influence when life fucks with plans. I understand. I am not blaming them. I am not trying to be difficult. I'm not a bitch about it.

But this whole thing I worked for so hard to make it even happen turned out to be such a fucking disappointment and full of frustration that I honestly just want to cry. It just fell so flat I don't even have words for it. No word again that I cancelled everything to be with them, but maybe they don't even realise or remember, because they slept half the time.

(Also: no, I'm normally not the one to expect several replies every day. They can't RP on workdays? Fine. They need time to go through stuff? Fine. They get sick and can't write? absolutely no problem, of course. They stopped replying to so many threads in the past and I've been waiting for weeks or months sometimes, so that's not my problem here. But when we make arrangements to sit together for the sole purpose of writing all day and I clear my schedule for three and a half days - it frustrates me when I sit around and wait for hours for a single reply - just to clarify.)

So with all due respect and necessary understanding - I know they didn't choose this - I'm just so angry, too. Not at them. But that this didn't work out, at all. And I can't even show it because it would hurt them, because I know they were just exhausted and tired and it's not their fault - and I don't want that.

Goddamn, I was looking forward to this so much and I feel so hollow right now, because I spent most of these past three and a half days waiting for them... I feel like I could have done more productive things in three days that would have made me feel much better.

I need a hug...

(sorry for the rant...)

.

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires- Part 8

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 1000

Masterlist

I waited a while to ask you on a second date. I did that on purpose. For one, I knew you were busy and I didn't want you to have to say no to me. But also, I was busy myself. A new Stephen King book came out last week, and Mooney's has been a never ending parade of idiots who don't even read, but want to own the newest King, anyway.

It's three weeks later. We're in the back of a cab.

You're nervous, which is understandable.

I kept a book to the side, just for you. I was going to give it to you when we met up earlier, but then I realized you'd have to carry it around all day, so I decided to give it to you later.

We never ended up walking through New York together. We got too distracted just talking to each other. So when I texted you last weekend, my plan was to ask you to go on a walk with me. I had it all planned out. I know which routes you've walked, mostly, and was pretty confident I’d come up with a route you'd never think to follow on your own. But before I could bring up this plan, you said:

YOU: i kinda have a work thing soon

YOU: we're allowed +1s tho

YOU: wanna come?

ME: …Well, what kind of work thing?

A music festival, is what kind of thing. Apparently, your boss is one of the main sponsors.

Festivals aren't your kind of crowd, and you don't want to go, and I think you're regretting inviting me along.

It's not even your kind of music, this festival. It's not Guns ‘n Roses or Muse or Prince, which is what you put on at the café when the crowd finally started to thin. You smiled at me meekly and told me you're a poser - “I kind of only know Purple Rain, I'm that kind of Prince fan” - and I told you I consider Prince to be one of the great poets of our generation.

“Prince was born in 1958,” you'd said to me. I was surprised you knew that. “I wouldn't say he's ‘of our generation’.”

A poser wouldn't know that, (Y/n). You give yourself far too little credit.

Anyway, the music at this festival is mostly new pop, which I hate and which I know you hate. You're fiddling with your beanie (not black this time but mustard yellow) like it's your armor and you're wearing black jeans and a red knitted top (no bra, I can tell, and you want me to notice this) and red converse. Your nails are painted black, but the polish is already chipped because you keep picking at it.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“I hate that this is happening on a Sunday,” you tell me. “Like, hello? We all have to work tomorrow.”

I nod.

“I'm sorry. I promise I'll be more fun, later,” you say. “I'm just not great with this stuff. I don't exactly go out to parties or anything.”

Which is the truth. I know this about you. You spend your weekends at home, reading or watching Netflix. Last night, you stayed up until three am and watched the old Planet of the Apes movies on your laptop. I could hear the sound from across the street, because you had your windows all the way open again.

“Was going to this thing mandatory?” I ask.

“I guess not, but I'm still sort of new and I feel bad saying no.”

“That's understandable.”

“Are you into festivals?”

“Not at all.”

“We don't have to stay very late, if we don't want to.”

NADIA: Omg good luck 😭

You take out your phone. You're texting someone and laughing and I don't like it, but then you lean over to show me and it's just Nadia. She's sent you a photo of a T-shirt that says ‘Sorry, I'm overstimulated’. I love that you are involving me.

You answer back: me and joe have to survive loud music today wish us luck

I like Nadia. She doesn't even hesitate to reply to your English message in English, because she knows I'm reading along.

“She seems like a good friend,” I say.

“Best friend in the world,” you answer. “We basically grew up together.”

“How does that work? Isn't she from Belgium?”

A pause. You're trying to remember if you told me that. You haven't, but I don't say anything and eventually you come to the conclusion that you must have.

“So, we lived in a border town,” you explain to me. “When we were kids, she lived on the Belgian side and I lived on the Dutch side, but we also lived on the same street.”

“Huh,” is all I say.

“Yeah.”

You shoot off another text and then you put your phone away. You turn your body to me to show me I have your full attention, and you take my hand.

I could kiss you right now. You'd let me.

“My coworkers can be a bit much,” you say.

“Understood.”

“They're all very opinionated. Especially when they've been drinking. It's best to just agree with them.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” you say.

You fiddle with your hat again. I put my hand on top of yours to stop you, then fiddle with your hat for you.

“You look great,” I say.

You're flattered. You're blushing.

“Thank you. So do you.”

I'm wearing jeans and a white shirt, and an old belt I got from a thrift shop. Nothing special. Yet you really mean it. You put your hand on my arm and you look at me and it's not just that I could kiss you. I want to. I really do. I want to say fuck this festival and take you home and watch old movies with you and fuck you until you forget your name.

The cab stops. We're here.

“Here goes nothing,” you say.

[poppetsisters]

I'm gonna challenge myself: I have to say ONE good thing about every MCU thing since Endgame:

Spider-Man: Far From Home: Mysterio's Mocap costume is one of the most genius, galaxy brained adaptations of his comic book costume I've ever seen.

Wandavision: Incredible miniseries with the coolest formatting mechanic. Genuinely the best MCU thing to come out of phase 4, and still the best MCU TV show of them all.

Falcon and the Winter Soldier: US Agent's characterization (before the finale) was incredibly well realized as a critique of American foreign policy and American exceptionalism

Loki S1: The design of the TVA is one of the strongest aesthetics in the MCU.

Black Widow: Haven't seen it, but Florence Pugh is a great actor and I'm glad she's the new Black Widow.

What If...? S1: Some of the episode concepts are interesting.

Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings: Retconning the Mandarin to be Tony Leung Chiu-wai while keeping Ironman 3's message of "not assuming all foreign people are terrorists" was a good move. They get to have their cake and eat it too.

Eternals: Any time they're talking about philosophy is my favourite part of the movie.

Hawkeye: Didn't watch it, but I like the Kingpin.

Spider-Man: No Way Home: The suit worn in the final swing is my favourite live action Spider-Man costume.

Moon Knight: I liked the episode that was a specific reference to Jeff Lemire's run on the character.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness: Elizabeth Olsen slays as a villain, also the entire section where Strange astral projects into his zombified body is genuinely one of my top 10 MCU moments.

Ms Marvel: Very colourful and stylish show with a perfectly cast Kamala Khan.

Thor: Love and Thunder: I liked it when Thor wore the classic costume when he was doing that running montage.

I Am Groot: Didn't watch it, but looks cute.

She-Hulk: The gag where we saw an 80s TV Movie version of She-Hulk got a chuckle out of me.

Werewolf By Night: Getting jumpscared by the Marvel Studios intro was incredible. The whole presentation was visually and audibly fantastic. they should let Michael Giacchino cook more.

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever: The entire adaptation of Namor and Atlantis becoming a Mesoamerican culture genuinely makes it way more interesting than its comics counterpart.

Guardians of the Galaxy Christmas Special: I can't believe they let James Gunn do this. Very fun special with Mantis being the clear highlight.

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania: I like that this movie didn't make a whole lot of money at the Box Office.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3: I could say several good things about this movie but I'll say that Chukwudi Iwuji's performance as The High Evolutionary is one of the best MCU performances. He should've been Kang.

Secret Invasion: Didn't watch it, but I remember Fury had a decent speech about the civil rights movement I guess.

Loki S2: I still think about the scene in the record store a lot.

The Marvels: This film is just a very fun time and handled its three leads well. It finally made me like Captain Marvel as a character.

What If...? S2: Kahhori is a cool character and should be in future movies.

Echo: Didn't watch it, but Alaqua Cox deserves the world.

Deadpool and Wolverine: The bit where Handsome Deadpool said "The Proposal" and Default Deadpool got personally offended made me laugh.

[luvly-writer]

“But oh..cara mia”

Ch. 1: So what did i miss?

———————————————————

Dick Grayson x Latina! Reader

Status: Ongoing

Warnings: none

Author’s Note: Seeing as “You are my sunshine” is ending, I published the first chapter to get you guys as excited as I am for this story.  Warnings, in this story, heavy amounts of character trauma will be discussed. Therefore, heavy amounts of angst will be shown. Worry not though, fluff and feels will also be a part of it. Enjoy the first chapter and if you’d like to be part of the tag list, don’t be afraid to send me an ask, reply on the chapters, or send me a message. Feedback is always positively welcomed and loved. Love you all!

Taglist:  @lorosette @nanas-teatime @prettyacademia00

Series Masterlist:

———————————————————

It had been a quiet night on patrol. Nothing big had happened, just a few thugs here and there. Everyone had retired for the night and decided to crash at Wayne Manor. First arrived Babs, Steph, and Cass, they had been the group closest to the manor. Then came, Tim, Jason, and Duke. Dick, Damian, and Bruce arrived last.  They had all entered and headed directly to the changing rooms, too busy with the chatter and banter to even pay attention to the batcomputer.  Funny enough, for a group of vigilantes and the world’s greatest detectives, no one noticed the figure next to Alfred, smirking at them from the seat of the batcomputer. “They really are hopeless sometimes” the young girl laughed at Alfred who nodded along with a soft smile. Finally, everyone had returned and noticed someone had been sitting waiting for them. 

“Well, i’ll be fucking dammned,” said Jason with a laugh as the girl jogged towards them. “Hello strangers!” she giggled as Cass, Stephanie and Barbara went to hug her. Next was Tim and Jason who couldn’t help but tease her for leaving them for two whole years. Duke then smiled as the young girl jumped in his arms and hugged him tightly whilst screaming that God-awful nickname she knew he hated but secretly loved, “Duckie!” Finally, she turned to the last three, first giving a hug to Bruce, the man who had come to love her as one of his own. Then she turned to Dick, and Damian swore the cave turned tense for a second. He looked at both of them, who were standing face to face, looking at each other dead in the eye. Damian looked around, confused at the anxious faces of everyone around. Even his father was looking at them wearily. “Richard,” she said dryly, to which her counterpart responded just as drily with a nod, “YN”. They kept eye contact for a few moments and when she broke it off to look at Damian, everyone let out a sigh of relief. “Bruce! YOU GOT ANOTHER ONE!” she said looking at him bewildered. She turns to the man and says, “Ok, that’s it, you definitely have a problem, Bruce. You can’t keep exchanging therapy for adopting orphans. I thought we were past that!” making the rest laugh. It wasn’t Yn if she isn’t berating Bruce on something. Bruce at least had the decency to look bashful and Damian spoke up before he could open his mouth, “I am not an orphan, I’m his son. THE blood son”. Yn eyes widened and she looked at Bruce who confirmed his claims. “I leave for two years and come back to find you have a biological kid! Bruce! You could have at least sent an email of precaution!” she says and Bruce shoots back, “I would have if you hadn’t been traveling constantly or in Themyscira” to which the girl smiled bashfully. “You said I needed a break, so I took it.” making the rest laugh. It was good to have her back. Before long, they had migrated to one of the living rooms where she told them all about her adventures and gave them little souvenirs. Throughout this entire time, Damian observed her carefully. She was open with everyone else, yet guarded with Grayson. There were times he would find them looking at each other when the other wasn’t paying attention. A strange fondness could be found in their eyes.

Finally, everyone started to retire to their bedrooms, but before he did, Yn called him out. They were left alone in the living room, with Damian looking at her curiously. “Heard you are half Arab,” she said looking at him softly. She was kind, that he could tell. “He answered quickly, wanting to know what she wanted from him, “Yes, I was raised at the League of Assasins by my mother and Grandfather.” She nodded, “Ras Al Ghul and Talia Al Ghul, damn, another traumatized kid to the bunch. How’d that happen with B?” she said not expecting an answer but Damian cleared it up for her, “She drugged him. Doesn’t take a genius to know it”. She hummed in response and pulled something out of her bag. It was an elephant figurine, beautiful in all aspects. It was jade with golden accents. Truly a remarkable piece. She extended her hand towards him and presented it to him. “Here, a small present. As a welcome to the family. I got it when I visited Arabia. Elephants are my favorite animals, thought you’d like it,” she said and smiled when he took it. He felt a warm sensation in his chest, one he wasn’t used to. Giving her a nod, he thanked her and left for his room. She could see the small smile he was trying to suppress. Once in his room, Damian placed the figurine on his bedside table. Admiring it a little, his thoughts were full of the observations he made of today. Yn Ln. First, he identified what was known. Everyone in the family seemed to be quite fond of her except Grayson, which was out of character seeing as he was normally the warmest. She was kind, and he would understand the fondness of everyone else. She seemed to know all of them quite well, meaning her presence in the family must go way back. And finally, things between Grayson and her were NOT good. Now to what he didn’t know. What exactly was her part in this family? Why does she have such influence over everyone? And his biggest doubt, what the hell happened between Grayson and her that caused everyone to tense up at a mere staredown between the two. That night, as he went to sleep, he assigned himself a new mission. Find out who is Yn Ln and what went wrong between her and Grayson. 

[deepwaterwritingprompts]

BORDERLINE - Beta Reader Applications Open

Good morning noon and night everyone! If you’ve been following me for any amount of time at all, you’ll know I’ve got a manuscript I’ll be looking to traditionally publish within the year. Applications to become a beta reader for this manuscript - BORDERLINE - are now open. Please read the following post carefully before submitting an application.

Borderline is a Young Adult manuscript of ~99,000 words. It is a story told from four perspectives, following a group of teenagers living in a strange town called Florida as they attempt to rescue a long lost friend from beyond the veil between worlds. The back page and other introductory tidbits can be found at the bottom of this post, under the cut.

Borderline is a manuscript with themes including cosmic/eldritch horror, mystery, and adventure. There are elements of romance, but this is not a main focus/theme of the book.

Content warnings include: body horror/descriptions of injuries, unreality, hallucinations, insects/bugs, brief mention of sex, brief mentions of religion, brief mentions of underage drinking, brief mentions of firearms. *descriptions of body horror all fall in some way under the category of unreality.

Borderline features multiple mixed POC/Queer characters.

Applications will close at the end of this week (Friday the 24th), and successful applicants will be sent a link to begin the novel on the following Monday. As stated, the manuscript is almost 100,000 words long. The beta period will be eight weeks long, with comments on the final chapter due by Monday April 24. If you have doubts about your ability to finish a manuscript of this length in this amount of time, please do not apply.

I am not looking for line by line grammar edits. I am looking for general thoughts chapter by chapter, if you enjoyed the book overall, and if there were any instances where things were unclear or confusing. 

Below, you will find the link to submit an application. The application is eight questions long. Not all of the questions are required, but answering all of them will help your application. Please note that there is NO answer which will exclude you from being considered. As with my previous manuscript, I am looking for a range of experiences and backgrounds, so please answer honestly. I will be taking between three and five beta readers, depending on interest and variety of applications.

Please also note that if you are uncomfortable providing an email address, this does NOT need to be your personal email. The portal through which I host my manuscripts for beta (beta books) requires an email for access and providing feedback. This can be a temporary account created by you in order to participate.

Finally, if you do end up helping with beta, please remember that you're under no obligation to like the book. I like the book. If you hate it, that's your opinion, and I don't mind at all. But please give me honest beta. 

If you have any questions about the manuscript, or the beta process, please feel free to message me here!

Here is the link to apply

Please fill out the form by the end of this coming Friday, February 24th. I will post a reminder before applications close. See below the cut for back page and other tidbits previously posted to this blog.

BACKPAGE:

FLORIDA, Florida is a strange place. Tucked away into a corner of the state’s forgotten coast, all the locals know it stands on a borderline, where the veil is thin and mysterious forces wander alongside the human population. 

LIN O’LEARY, 17, is a high school dropout now working at the world’s weirdest convenience store. Six years after the disappearance of her best friend and childhood crush, Lin tries not to think about Momo Kasahara, keeps her head down, and regularly ignores the seven foot entity desperately seeking instant oatmeal. 

BO KASAHARA is the remaining twin, a high school junior balancing nihilism with varsity sports and mandatory pancake breakfasts. If he could only stop waking up on the beach without any idea how he got there, he might actually make it to graduation, and a university far away from the hometown that ate his sister. 

JULIEN TRUE is ambition on legs, lugging a bag full of spirit tracking equipment down Florida’s quiet streets. Determined to shoot his first miniseries before college starts, he’s fine with the creepy motel and unhelpful locals, as long as he learns something, anything about the Kasahara girl. 

When a grown up Momo appears like a ghost in Lin’s convenience store, the three of them are united in the search for answers about the borderline that might help them rescue her. Because Momo Kasahara is not a ghost at all.

MOMOKO KASAHARA is impossible to find, and pissed about it. Stuck somewhere outside of reality, she’ll try anything and everything to pass the endless hours, survive another day. The forest is hiding something from her, the sky is always gray, and her neighbors don’t have faces. It’s save herself, or become something that can never go home.

SELECTED CHAPTER TITLES

100% humidity feels like breathing underwater.

Cloudy with a chance of hotdogs (haunted).

The girl in the grocery store is usually me.

Did you or did you not bring my seven dollars and eighty five cents.

So drink good health, you sailors!

I’m going to waterboard you with tartar sauce.

Ittekimasu.

Power ten in ten!

Rorschach drew his own inkblots.

I’d like to solve the puzzle.

I live in this bathroom now, actually.

No crying over what now?

Hi nauseous, I’m dad.

Three blind mice.

Lin O’Leary has left the building.

Ouroboros.

CHARACTER PLAYLIST

[chaplinlegend]

Charlie Chaplin and Pola Negri - 1923.

The day they announced their engagement.

They met on Charlie Chaplin first visit to Berlin September 1921. At that time Charlie Chaplin was an unknown in Germany, his films had not yet been seen. A year later Pola Negri came to Hollywood, her and Charlie Chaplin met again October 1922. Pola signed a contract with Paramount Pictures. January 28th 1923, Charlie Chaplin and Pola Negri hold a press conference and announce they are engaged. For the next 5 months - They break up, get back together again, break up etc - finally June 28th 1923 it is announced they have definitely broken up.

**************************************************************

CHARLIE ABROAD – BY CHARLES CHAPLIN

"(...) I left Paris to go to Germany. I came back to Paris. I made up my mind quite abruptly to go into Germany and spend several days in Berlin. It never entered my head that there might be passport difficulties. There weren’t. The Belgian inspector who looked at my passport as we came into Germany sent it back to me in the train with this message: “I see your face and I know it. You may go.” I was not recognized in Berlin. Not for a day. At the Adlon Hotel they did not know me at all. This was a great relief. I do not mean that I am ungrateful for the splendid receptions that have been given me everywhere. I mean I was glad, for a day or two, to be simply myself, to see Berlin without being seen. They have had only one of my pictures there, The Rink, a very old one. It was playing the week I arrived. The evening of my arrival, I went to the leading restaurant, the “smart” cafe of Berlin. I did not dress. I had been browsing about all day, and did not go back to my hotel. I was motioned unceremoniously to the farthest corner, and the tiniest table, of the big dining-room. It was a beautiful place, and there were many beautiful women and well-dressed men there. I couldn’t see much from my table, but I meekly sat there, and I enjoyed myself hugely. I was passing out as unceremoniously as I came, when a man from one of the good tables, rushed up to me. It was Al Kaufman, Paramount’s European representative. He brought me to his table. There sat Pola Negri and Mrs. Kaufman. She is a delightful person. Young, vivacious, beautiful. She speaks no English—she is Polish. you know, not German, even though she has played in the German pictures, Passion and Gypsy Blood—and we became good friends. I dined with the same party every one of the three nights I spent in Berlin. Negri is coming to America in January to make pictures in California. She will be a revelation. I also met Ernst Lubitsch, the German director of Deception and Passion and Gypsy Blood. He does not speak English; nothing but German— so we did not have many conversations. (...)"

Charles Chaplin, Charlie Abroad (1921) (x)

https://scrapsfromtheloft.com/movies/charlie-abroad/

**************************************************************

POLA NEGRI, "IN HER OWN WORDS"

"I met Charlie Chaplin on his first evening in Berlin. I was introduced to him at a party that I attended that evening with my friends Albert Kaufman and his wife at a fashionable Berlin restaurant called Palais Heinroth. Although I had heard the name Chaplin before, I was not fully aware of the actor’s position in the world of cinematography, nor had I seen any of his films. During the war, American films were not shown in Berlin, so Chaplin was not particularly well-known in Germany, nor were other stars from overseas. But since he summed up my professional achievements with a long list of compliments, I replied, not wanting to be indebted, that I considered him one of the greatest artists in the world, congratulating myself on my cleverness and diplomacy. It was only later that I learned that Charlie had used the same qualities, because when he met me, he had not seen a single one of my films!

Mr. Chaplin is endowed with a charming personality. He has a boyish charm and enthusiasm, and a wonderful gift for conversation. We met at several parties and I had the pleasure of watching him take on the roles of several different people. He never really stops acting, never misses an opportunity to indulge in imitation or parody.

Our acquaintance in Berlin was quite casual and far from romantic. I admired Chaplin as a personality and artist, but I have to admit that at that time every American I met had an irresistible charm for me. The reason for this was, above all, their respectful attitude towards women, so different from that of Europeans. American gentlemen treat every woman as a queen. How could I not like them?" (x)

This is a fragment of the text from the Polish book "Pola Negri - in their own words". The author of the book is Mariusz Kotowski - a researcher of Pola Negri's life and work. In this fragment, the author of the book tells the story of how Pola met Charlie Chaplin.

Unfortunately, I am not able to translate the entire article. This book was published in 2014.

[ph4os]

So... this is a serious post which however may touch the sensitivity of many people, which is why, before reading, I warn you that I will talk about feminicide, harassment and stalking. I also put a divider right under these warnings to prevent someone who hasn't read this first part from reading something and feeling triggered while scrolling.

Today in Italy, after exactly a week, the body of a girl who disappeared together with her ex was finally found. The killer's lawyer (that's still at large, supposedly in AUSTRIA) said that this murder was not premeditated, that he loved her because "he always made biscuits for her". [Do you know where the fuck you can put those shitty biscuits? I'll tell you, up your ass.] The truth was that he didn't love her, he was obsessed with her. He was jealous of her. He was jealous of the fact that yesterday she would graduate while he didn't, he was out of class and would probably never get the degree. He was jealous that she was able to make a life without him. The killer's acquaintances, his family, are filling the newspapers saying that he was a very good boy. Now I have to ask myself something: men always justify themselves by saying "not all men" that "men who do these things stand out, you can see when a man is dangerous". So why, every time something like this happens, the people around the killer always say that he was a "good guy, polite and with sound principles"? Do you realize the bullshit you're talking about? Do you see the inconsistencies or am I the crazy one? You know what else is absurd? The fact that the media continues to use photos of the two of them together, from when they were engaged. It's crazy that they refer to him as her ex. He's not her ex. He is her killer. He is a MURDERER, a fugitive, an outlaw. NOT. HER. EX. It's a horrible thing to say, but part of me wants him to kill himself too, because people like that don't deserve to be in the world and I know for a fact that if they ever catch him, he'll be out of prison after a couple of years for good conduct and, consequently, Giulia will never have the justice she deserves.

Three hours after this news another very similar one arrived: another woman, a nurse, was shot by her husband who was jealous because she was very good at her job and very well liked by patients.

It's not normal. It's not normal that I was molested by an eighteen year old boy wen I was in eighth grade. It's not normal that he stalked me for 2 years. It's not normal that if Covid hadn't divided us I probably wouldn't be here writing now. It is not normal that I should be afraid to go out in my city for fear of die like one of these poor women. It's not normal that my best friend, even though she's never been harassed, is still afraid to go on date a with a guy without first sending me her real-time location. It's not normal that I have to stay awake until she texts me that she's back home safe. It's not normal for both me and her to have a ready message to send to each other's parents in case one of us stops responding during a date with a man or goes out alone at night. It is not normal that none of the men I follow have never posted even a story for the International Day for Elimination of violence against women or even a message of condolence for the families of today's victims. It's not normal for me to have to fear for my safety every time I set foot outside the house.

It's not normal. I'm tired and scared of this world. I just want this to end.

"Not all men", but all women.

[lampmanliveblogs]

Even when talking about the difficulties of life, this Luz still looked and sounded so positive and upbeat. A far cry from the current state our beloved protagonist girl finds herself in.

And wow, this entire episode really was a targeted attack against me specifically, huh? I mean, even Luz’ line about being able to read witch tongue reminds me how back in the days, I could read gnommish (from the Artemis Fowl books) and decode the messages along the bottom of the pages. It doesn’t hit as hard as that one previous scene, but it still hits pretty close to home.

Camila believed that if Luz applied herself more, then she could do great things. She was right about that; just look at what she’s been able to do with glyphs in such a short time. Even Philip, who’s spent the last four hundred years or so thinking he was literally the only real person in the world admitted that he was impressed by her.

The point being that ”normal” subject like math or social studies might not be able to hold Luz interest for long, but given the right subject and the right environment, she will excel.

Timeline wise, this takes place right before the disastrous book report we saw at the beginning of episode one, season one.

I believe the ”Domicile Evil 4” poster is a reference to the Resident Evil franchise.

Down in the right corner we have… ”Night of [the?] Zombie S-” Night of the Zombie S…squirrel? That doesn’t look like a squirrel on the poster though. Maybe it’s a shrew or something, I dunno.

There are also a bunch of books in the bookcase: mostly Azura books, no surprise. There are also three books that have titles. One says ”Ghosts” on it, so I think it’s the same book that Gordon Ramsay read in that one episode of Hotel Hell that was in Connecticut.

Now, despite my brand new glasses, I have a hard time making out the other two. I think one of them says ”Taxi-something” on it, and there’s a skull next to it, so it might be about taxidermy.

That one pink jacket with the golden star in the wardrobe is giving me Steven Universe vibes. I bet Steven would love it. Is it organic though?

”…I’m staying in the Human Realm. Permanently.”

Oh, so that’s what Luz was planning, that makes sense. I mean, it’s a terrible idea, but it makes sense. I’m surprised I didn’t think of that possibility.

I guess Luz though there was still a real possibility that they could create a new portal, even before Hunter told her about the hidden Titan’s Blood. And she thought the other Exiles could return back home… and that they’d be okay with leaving her behind? And I guess she was willing to send them into a world where who knows what has happened ever since they left it at the whims of a hyperactive kid with the power to move celestial bodies around.

Luz, sweetie, I know you hate yourself right now, and I know fourteen-year-olds aren’t the best at making good long-term decisions, but please think about this.

I should probably talk a little bit about Camila’s reactions as well.

Her facial journey throughout this playlist fairly subtle, and I am not the best at reading faces, but here goes:

When the videos first start playing, she looks a little unsure. Probably because she shouldn’t be watching her daughter’s video diary.

Then Luz talks about Manny’s death. And while that is undoubtedly still a great source of sadness for her, Camila’s first instinct is to reach out towards the image of her grieving daughter.

We then move on to the videos showing off Luz’ antics, her trying to cut her hair with the sword, and Camila’s expression becomes fond. She’s missed this side of her daughter, her silly ideas, wonderful creativity, and endless optimism… even if her ideas don’t always work out.

Her smile fades as in the next video, Luz talks about the conversation she had with Camila about school. I get the sense that Camila feels guilty that she didn’t appreciate her daughter for the things she was good at or passionate about, trying instead to get her to fit into a box. 

Finally, we arrives at the last entry, where Luz says she’s going to stay in the Human Realm forever. Camila looks shocked and then… this expression. I believe she’s reached the same conclusion as me, that it is a bad idea. Even without bringing Luz’ extended family in the form of Eda & King (and also Hooty and Cool Aunt Lilith) into the equation, all of Luz’ best friends, and her awesome girlfriend are from that other world. I think Camila on some level knows that Luz will never truly be happy in this ordinary human world.

This is why we wash our wounds and make sure to change our bandaids regularly, Hunter.

Also, nononononono, it’s happening, it’s happening, oh no-

Also, also, eeeeeeww!

Turns out I was right!

To be more precise, my third proposed theory of why Luz’ burnt her hand on the glyph back at the vet clinic was right. It was because of the hidden Titan’s Blood, which makes glyph magic work… at least to some extent, those light orbs look a bit wobbly.

Not only does this give Luz a way to find the blood, but it also gives her some way to defend herself against the monster waiting in the woods.

Hey, let’s think positively! Maybe Hunter isn’t possessed by his creepy uncle, but is actually just turning into a werewolf! Yeah, that’s what’s happening. And Luz is exactly the kind of nerd who knows how to deal with a werewolf.

[kiran-wears-science-blues]

Our Wedding Sitcom

So my new wife and I were married on Sunday and had an incredible, hectic, wonderful day! A hundred and one things went wrong, like things right out of a sitcom, so I’m writing it all up here for your enjoyment. (We still had a great time and only fond feelings! But damn, when they say things will go wrong, I’m not sure they mean quite so much.)

The bad luck started a week before the wedding, when our photographer had to drop out due to pregnancy complications. (She and the baby are doing great! Just on bed rest for now.) Our photographer was able to find us a backup, so all good.

Then, the night before the wedding -- an hour before the rehearsal dinner -- a pipe broke in our house! Complete freak event; the plastic valve just decided to give way. Thank everything that is good in the world that it happened when it did, and not an hour later or during the wedding day, because we were able to shut everything off immediately without too much damage. But here we are, the day before the wedding, with no water in our house other than the water flowing in through the light fixture into our kitchen.

At this point, my sister has missed three different flights and isn't sure she's going to make it to the wedding.

We had a wonderful rehearsal dinner, and then crashed at my in-laws for the night. We had an 11:30 AM wedding, so we were up bright and early before the sun rose, and at our venue by 8 AM. That's when we noticed the florist was setting up our chuppah in the wrong spot. When we pointed this out, she agreed to move it, but showed us the design she had from the wedding planner, which were plans we had never seen before or approved. This would be the first of many mistakes from the planner.

Our wedding party then arrived at the venue, as did our hairdresser, and we had a wonderful breakfast. After breakfast, my partner and I separated to start getting ready. I was ready for our first look at 10 AM . . .

. . . and no one showed up.

Eventually our photographer showed up and whisked me away to another room to take a lot of photos alone. I had no idea what was going on, and my bridal folks weren't there either. I wondered at first if there had been a mix-up, as my partner wanted lots of individual photos, but not me -- but they assured me all was fine.

Finally, 30 minutes later after we were supposed to have our first look, my partner's bridesmaid came out to tell me that the zipper on my partner's dress had broken, and her sister was currently sewing her into the dress on the spot.

Fifteen minutes later, we finally had our first look! My partner's sister didn't have time to finish sewing up the dress, but thankfully my partner's dress came with a little jacket she hadn't been planning on wearing but covered most of the issue.

After our rushed first look, and some family photos (note: my sister has still not arrived) we were ready for the ceremony!

....At which point we realized there was no music, and our planner told us that our DJ had never showed.

(We found out later that the DJ also had a medical emergency and wasn't able to contact us. He's recovering now and should be okay.)

Then our planner was working on a backup plan, but the ceremony was delayed 30 minutes. This actually worked out in our favor, because gave us time to realize that the florists' chuppah structure was way too large for our chuppah, and so they had draped the chuppah fabric over the front like a curtain (beautiful, but does not meet the requirements of a chuppah). We sent out our hairdresser (who by the way, has been delivering all our messages -- she was the real MVP of the day) and had her say that we need some fabric, any fabric over top.

And that's how we ended up with a tablecloth for our chuppah!

Finally, a bluetooth speaker arrived on site, and our planner plugged in her phone, and we had music. My sister arrived just in time for the ceremony to start.

The ceremony was wonderful, although we had to speak as loudly as possible since we didn't have a microphone. I did forget what we were doing and tried to kiss my partner in the middle of our vows, and she politely reminded me we weren't at that part yet.

Later, the bridesmaids told us that my sister kept moving seats during the ceremony and walking down the aisle, but we didn't notice.

Most of the rest of the day went much more smoothly, but we still had many hiccups, including:

For some reason, the planner did not use any of the easels I provided and instead placed all but one sign on the floor or against the wall.

We were supposed to have family heirloom china at our sweetheart table, but it never showed.

It turned out wedding planner did not have Spotify Premium and so ads played throughout the reception, including ads about period products. For some reason, she refused to take our phones, which had the playlists and Spotify Premium.

Our exit was going to involve a dramatic distribution of favors, but all the favors were placed at the seats at the start of the reception, so we had to rethink our exit on the spot.

My dad decided not to do a toast so he refused when he was called up, rather than mentioning something beforehand.

Dessert labels were mixed up so that the scones with nuts were labelled as nut-free. Thankfully, our guest with a nut allergy had cancelled last minute.

Our tip envelopes didn't go out, so we have to follow up with all our vendors now.

Overall, though, we had the best day. So many people helped out when things went wrong, and all our guests handled the confusions with grace and patience. We had a blast with our off-beat reception (And our swordfight! Thankfully that went well, although our final practice was cancelled due to the burst pipe), and many guests told us it was the most fun wedding they'd ever been to.

Anyway -- I'm married, y'all!!!

[anotherdayforchaosfay]

I finally remembered to call my neurologist to have my prescription transferred. Less than two weeks of my med left. I left a message with their med department, but not call back. Just received a text informing me my med is ready for pickup.

Um, what?

They not only transferred the prescription but renewed it. Wooooot!!! My risk of death from of a seizure has decreased.

My previous neurologist was an absolute ass and insisted I make the six hour trip to see him, in person, for a 10 minute appointment that he will be late for. He was late, twice, for a first appointment of the day. He was an hour late and gave no apology. When the asshole saw who my previous neurologist was, he went on about how unprofessional the man is (he's one of the top epilepsy specialists in the world), and insisted thr seizure study I was part of isn't accurate and insisted on conducting his own. As for why he was my neurologist from 2014-2022, he was the only neurologist within a 100 mile radius who accepted Medicare.

My new neurologist is cool. When I told him about the edible I take every night, he asked about my seizure count. My tonic-clonic seizures have decreased significantly. He nodded and said a lot of his patients have experienced the same thing with THC+CBD use, and told me to keep using them if they're helping. He sees no point in raising my med dosage seeing as when it was higher all I got were worsening side-effects. He also didn't wanna add meds, but mostly because I had used every med on the list he handed me. 27 different medications from age 12-25. Some lasted a week, others a year. My current? I've been on it since I was 25; now I'm 40. The side-effects are a bitch (especially the weight gain and chronic nausea), but I'm okay with that.

Yay for finding a good doctor! I hope our next appointment won't involve an EEG or seizure study. I will flat out refuse. The seizure study will require I live in the hospital for a week (hello, covid), with over 100 wires stuck to my head, neck, and part of my face (the glue looks and feels like snot and is a pain in the ass to remove), and electrodes on my chest (the adhesive causes me to develop a rash and hives). No. A regular EEG uses something like 25-50 wires glued to my head. The last three all showed I was having a seizure during the strove lights, one even showed a massive seizure. Except I had no outward signs and was conversational. That should give you an idea of how likely it is I'm having even more seizures than we assume. Raising my dosage didn't reduce my seizure count, but it did put 15 lbs on me in the span of a month.

Epilepsy is fun.

My fav neurologist is Dr. Madhavan at the Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha. He saved my life, for which I am eternally grateful.

[himebushou]

HI – I am finally watching Shaman King 2021!

The 2001 anime consumed my head and my heart (many a Maths lesson was spent discussing what had happened in Last Night’s Episode), so I’m happy to be diving in at last!

I’m grouping my rambles for convenience.  Here are some squiggly thoughts on Episodes 1-9!

Episode 1

Ep 1 of Shaman King and I'm getting emotional – the way Anna and Yoh go up against Hao in the opening sent a chill down my spine!  And wow, they didn't waste any time establishing the twin connection, huh?

There's definitely a lot packed into Episode 1, which means that it goes super fast but hey, that's fine!

It will take me a while to get used to the voices because I love and adore the 4 Kids dub – but I'm watching this subbed and having fun so far!

Episode 2

AMIDAMARU IS ADORABLE.

SHAMAN KING is one massive eco message and I loooove iiiiiit!  Having Ren spend all that time staring up at the stars rambling on about air pollution… you tell ’em!

Episode 3

Phew, the bit in the Lee Pyron episode where he starts crying... that takes me back…  (Though I think they missed a trick here by sticking with ‘Lee Pyron’ in the dub; ‘Lee Pai-Long’ made a lot more sense to me, back in the day.)

Anna literally slapping sense into everyone, including Jun fhdjdn

AND WATCHING HER USE THE BEADS GAVE ME CHILLS YAHHH!!

Episode 4

Episode 4 is my favourite so far – the introduction of Tokageroh!  There was a proper laugh-out-loud moment as well as plenty of action... though I have to ask how in the world baby!Mosuke was making swords, lol.  Him and what resources?  The knife from his father? Gosh.

Tokageroh’s backstory was delivered pretty quickly… I also appreciated Ren in this episode.

I wish that the English dub had stuck with 4Kids’ term ‘sacred hang’ – that had so much flavour.  Ryu talking about a ‘happy place’ doesn’t really have the same pizazz.

However!  Amidamaru referring to Yoh as ‘Lord Yoh’?  Amazing.  Splendid.  Beautiful.  I believe it was ‘Master Yoh’ back in the 2001 days.

Episode 5

SCREAMS

THIS

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE ONE

First of all, starting off with Ryu was cute!  Though I don’t understand how Anna summoned Mosuke to fix Harusame considering that he's dead dead (having passed on at all), but hey, I think we'll have to let it slide…

SILVA IS HERE!  I had to skip back and watch most of the episode in English because hi, DAN GREEN, HI.  He was so great and I just felt so happy hearing his voice again after all this time~ it helps that Silva is an AMAZING character and so much fun!

I cracked when Yoh lobbed Amidamaru like a baseball and tfjfj the bit where Amidamaru's spirit nearly ascends is so good –

I actually squealed when Over Soul started playing, sheesh.  Oh well.  It wasn’t too late, so I’m sure my neighbours were fine.

And man, Ren is such a lil creep at this point... The Tao family give off serious Zoldyck vibes, tbh.

(Shaman King 2021 is still super fast and I think it’s okay for people who’ve got 2001 or the manga as a baseline, but if I were completely new to the IP, I would be LOST.)

Episode 6

Horohoro is so cute.

That’s pretty much all I have to say!

Episode 7

Faust the VIII is a FREAK what the hell!

At this point, I’m flip-flopping between the sub and the dub based on whether it’s a Silva screen or not dndjkd but Faust sharing a seiyuu with Saurtobi Sasuke (from Sengoku BASARA!!) is making that complicated!

THIS EP IS FULL OF TWISTS AND TURNS

YOH LOSING

REN COMING TO THE RESCUE WITH "I DRINK THREE GLASSES OF MILK A DAY"?

SILVA'S COOL SPEECHES

AMIDAMARU INSPIRING YOH AND ANNA GETTING JELLY –

Also, the soundtrack is perfeeect for Shaman King I loooove it

Episode 8

Manta comes from money?? I don’t remember all of that stuff with his family from 2001 at ALL.

Also, the funny thought of Ryu going to America to train as a sushi chef like... surely it would be more prudent to stay in Japan?  lol

I'm pretty sure Amidamaru uses "de gozaru" when he speaks, which is super cute

This episode introduces Tamao!  I think she might be a little younger than Yoh and Anna (11?). Ponchi and Conchi were absolutely vile which was definitely, definitely left out of the dub.

I feel like we could have had more of Yoh's struggle in Yomi Cave, for sure, but that’s 2021's breakneck pacing again!  Also, I really have to question the tournament format considering that something like 10 days have passed since Yoh's loss to Faust – there wasn’t any mention of how long the qualifiers would last.  I love tournaments in anime, but they MUST be well structured!!  Or I get mad!!

Bason is adorable...... Also, I completely forgot that Ren disdains the Tao family?  What a dweeby child.  I love him.

How is it that Tamao has an Over Soul but Yoh didn't even know what it was called nfjfjd Just HOW slack was Yoh in his training??

Episode 9

YOH'S REMATCH AGAINST REEEN

THE HORSES ARE COOL

I love how much this episode focused on Yoh saying things like, “I'm not going to force myself" djdj I wish he was the shounen protag whose example I'd followed… Yoh says such important things about not working to death that many of his peers could listen to!  And me too sigh sighs

Once again, the timeline is whack – the preliminaries are over but Ren’s only had two battles?  Huh??