#her revised backstory is still that her mom is missing

[arendaes]

TFW you arrive in a new country to search for your errant mother and are immediately greeted with the sight of a man being executed.

[eletricheart]

episode spoilers:

also teen's full name is teenager guys, my jaw dropped

Well i just lost my wife, lilia i'll avenge u

still upset it was only 30 minutes, i am very salty only teen got a 40 min backstory but im not gonna dwell on that

Now, i think the end of the road is gonna be like collective wish or something, it'd be weird for it to fr grant what everyone individually wants

For me, the end would be for alice and lilia to resurrect, since what they need is a coven. At least thats what this episode was about. Lilia also didnt read what teen was missing so it might not be his brother.

Teen saying Wanda is not his mom made so much sense considering he doesnt remember who he is, only the past three years with william's parents.

I do have to criticize ep5 again🥰 we have yet another trial that explained a character and helped her (even if resulted in death). Agatha was nothing more than cruelty, she had no personal growth and we just revised what we already knew by wandavision and even the start of the episode where lilia and rio just summarized salem. Also, seeing jen and lilia, especially jen, choose to continue the road to help agatha and teen right after betraying agatha and getting thrown off the road by teen. Its like ep5 never happened except we're keeping alice dead🙄 We get what less than a minute of them side eying him

Maybe they'll talk about it next episode, i hope (both the trial and down down the mud)

Overall, really good episode, i love my girls so much, lilia resurrection in 4k international holiday

I absolutely loved it, shouldve been longer, im gonna miss my wife

[pixeldistractions]

list 5 facts about a favorite sim of yours, and send this to simblrs whose sims you adore ʚ♡ɞ

5 7 things about… Colette

I’m sure nobody will notice, but I changed her eye color part way through. I was revising book 1 and a line came out that she had steel-gray eyes. I felt I needed to go with it because like all of my characters in this story had some shade of brown eyes, If anyone’s eyes were striking in this saga, it would be Colette’s. But instead of icy or piercing blue, I went with steel gray because she’s a cold hard bitch! 😆

Her family is French, and they lived in France until Colette was six. She still has the faintest French accent if you listen closely. She puts it on more when she’s at events or with high-rolling clients if she wants to sound “fancy.”

Colette’s family are alive. Her father is an investment banker with a secret gambling problem. Her mom is a former model who loves credit cards, Botox, and excessive amounts of cannabis. They had a college fund for her when she was little, which she looked forward to in her teen years, but it got lost on a blackjack table and in her mother’s forehead lines. Her older brothers laughed at her when she discovered the money was gone. They thought she was stupid for believing that money would ever be real. (It happened to them first.)

The final time Colette let her family disappoint her was when she was twenty-two and nearly full term with the twins, and her mother made such a stink about missing her Botox appointment to attend her c-section delivery—“It’s scheduled, can’t you change it? I won’t be able to book this doctor for two more months!” Colette vowed to never ask those people for anything ever again for as long as she lives.

Jordan’s father was the only person she could ever depend on, for the short time she knew him, and then he died.

Breast implants when she was twenty-eight. She kind of regrets them. They are very big, and she’s not really sure who she got them for. (Jordan liked them better natural, not that she ever cared for his opinion anyway… spoiler alert: she probably cared a little). Maybe they’ll make her popular on the dating scene?

She is tragically terrible at letting the people she cares about know that she cares.

[Please forgive me that I couldn’t stop at 5. But I needed to do some work on her backstory, so this was useful for me to do. Thank you @igglemouse for the ask!]

[silverjirachi]

🕸️: d&d character ask game: 1, 3, 9, 15, 22, 29, 25 and 38! i'm sorry if it's a lot, but i really do wanna know❣️

NO OMG IM SO EXCITED!! I'll be answering for Corian, my homebrew artificer from Kibblestasty's Inventor/Revised Artificer class, because he's the one I'm playing currently. Otherwise I have a long-term bard named Rhys who has many many different alternate selves who some of you may know from my other posts or rp videos.

✨ CORIAN'S DND ASKS ✨

What is your character’s morning routine?

I answered this one before so I'm going to copy and paste from the other one (forever ago!! it 's ok if you didn't know) because it hasn't changed much.

Corian is very messy and not a very consistent person, so his morning “routine” varies widely. When he manages to wake up early and is feeling like a morning person, he goes down to the bakery in his hometown, Leviathan, and grabs some pastries and coffee for breakfast. He might have classes to teach at the wizarding school or other important uhhh business in town don’t worry about it (he is/used to be a spy for an evil organization in-game shhh).

Most of the time though he just wakes up any time between 10am and 12pm, slaps himself in the face a little bit, downs some shitty instant coffee or any leftover alcohol and eats whatever breakfast he can scrounge together while he’s already working on gadgets for the day. Theoretically he reads the paper in this time too. That’s a very civil and professional thing to do, right? His mechanical familiar, Cogs, holds up whatever he’s reading and turns the pages for him if his hands are busy, or Corian uses his mechanical third arm he straps to his equipment to turn the pages himself and assist in the drinking coffee.

3. Do they eat breakfast? What’s they favorite?

I kinda answered this one with the morning routine post, but Corian has a pretty big sweeth tooth and loves going to the Leviathan bakery!! For any kind of pastries really but he got kind of a reputation in-game for bringing "apology donuts" to the party for 1. spying on them and 2. accidentally on purpose showing them the dildo room in his house.

So.. donuts??

But also any food that his mom used to cook for him. He really misses his family and anything she cooked was probably amazing bc she's one of Those Moms™️

9. How do they like their mornings? Rainy and chilly? Bright and sunny? Not at all because they don’t wake until noon?

Yeah Corian is a late riser so mostly up at noon when he has the luxury of it. (But he was also a middle school teacher at a magic school so...)

However he does like a good, quiet, rainy morning. Corian has an... interesting... relationship with the rain and thunderstorms. (His gun is powered on storm energy, and the gun as a.. loaded... backstory).

However he hasn't experienced a good non-sleety rain in a long time, because when he was "exiled" (for lack of a better word) to his current hometown, Leviathan, by the evil org he worked for, Leviathan is really far north and so it's always snowy. (I jokingly have called it dnd alaska). He's grown to love the snowy mornings too, as long as it's light snow and not like a blizzard or that horrible sleet shit.

15. Do they prefer warm days or cool ones?

I think Corian used to prefer warm days, but he's lived in Fantasy Alaska for so long he likes the cold now. He's made peace with it and decided he enjoys it. We'll see what happens when he gets back to a sunnier climate.

22. Do they like to share meals with their party?

YES. YES OH GOD YES. Corian LOVES getting to eat meals with his little found family because it reminds him of his huge family back home. (He's one of six siblings). One of our other party members, the rogue/monk name E'kayah, is an excellent cook and always making the nicest, cutest meals and Corian genuinely thinks it's so sweet. The other party member is also his current girlfriend (maybe too strong a term for either of them, but he still cares about her alot) so that's nice too.

25. What is their comfort item/habit?

TINKERING. Corian is an artificer and a big component of my particular subclass (Gadgetsmith) is that he's constantly coming up with new inventions. So in any downtime or when they're just sitting around chilling (and sometimes even at dinner) he just has stuff out and is tinkering. Corian has a mechanical familiar, Cogs, that's a tiny modrone that was a result of said tinkering, and he also has a Clockwork Amulet given to him by his father (also a clockmaker/artificer) that he always keeps close to him.

29. Do they use napkins when they eat?

Only if absolutely necessary.

38. Do they remember their dreams?

Yes. Corian has a really vivid imagination so he is constantly having bizarre dreams that he probably rants to the party about at breakfast. ("Lena I had a dream your hair was made of glue!") And some of these dreams have probably inspired inventions. Corian's also had his fair share of recurring nightmares due to things in his backstory, which were exacerbated during their stint in the Shadowfell, but they're out of the Shadowfell now so those should be getting better!!

Thank you so much for asking, this was so much fun!! 💖✨

Ask me Dnd things?

✨

[ash-etherwood]

Top 5: writing memories, songs, characters that are not blank rune, runes, food

♡

Linda I love you but are you trying to kill me … that’s so many Top 5’s! But alright, I’ll do my best! (Answers will probably switch between German and English RIP to every non-German-speaker who follows me and wants to read this for some reason I swear I’m normal)

WRITING MEMORIES

5.) The entire time I spent finishing my first (second?) longer writing project It was the year 2012 and it was a cyberpunk story about my friends’ and my edgy self inserts riding dinosaurs, fighting aliens and being badass. The plot twist in the end was that my character was secretly evil and wanted to kill everyone. (Things to show your therapist) The final boss fight made zero sense and also everything was incredibly weird and stupid. But sometimes I still think about those times when I sat in my grandma’s living room at night, eating chips and listening to Vocaloid covers while thinking this story was the coolest shit ever. Truly simpler times.

4.) Researching something about universities in Texas for OvF on a rainy Saturday afternoon I have no idea why this memory is still sticking with me to this day (I think it was around 2016 or something?), but I remember that it was just a really nice day and I felt really at peace at that moment?

3.) The entire writing process of Bathroom Blues It was such a spontaneous project and I still have no idea how I managed to power though it in just a little under two months! Also it was just incredibly fun seeing you getting excited over new drafts and I loved coming up with new plot points and Halloween costumes for everyone with you. :-D Truly a summer worth remembering.

2.) FINALLY uploading the prologue and intro chapter of WWBL Not really a writing memory, but that moment was … so sexy and magical. Seriously, you have no idea how long I had been waiting to finally start that story, waiting for the Steckbriefe to roll in and see people react to the prologue and generally the idea … I even made one of those countdown graphic thingies for the designated upload date! 8D At that point I had planned that story for about six months and just … yeah, that felt powerful to me.

1.) Writing the prologue for WWBL When I first started the draft for that prologue I was sitting at the window in my favourite hotel in Winterberg, Sauerland, wore my dark green flannel, had the window wide open breathing in the cool mountain air and allowed myself to listen to my WWBL playlist for the very first time. God, that felt so amazing. I even have a photo of it (which somehow makes it look like I have the biggest football shoulders in the universe) my sister took that night. God I miss Sauerland. )’:

- - - - -

SONGS

My apologies to every favourite song of mine that I forgot about, I have a whole playlist of them, but I think these are some of my oldest faves … (Honorable mentions for Don’t Mess With Me and Not That Big by Temposhark, Goodbye by Apparat, Me And The Devil by Soap&Skin, Heart Heart Head by Meg Myers, Pain and Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace, Beautiful Crime by Tamer, Gravity Of Love by Enigma, In Flames by Digital Daggers [thanks Phi u_u] and Murder Cries by Snow Ghosts AHHH FUCK IT I could’ve just made a playlist,,,)

5.) Vater Unser by E Nomine Starting off with some weird shit, won’t we? I’ve been in love with this song since fifth or sixth grade, when I was just starting to develop an actual music taste and although I have many favourite songs by E Nomine, this one has to be my absolute fave. Every time I can relate it to a character it makes me love said character even more. (Also I think about it every time my mom forces me to go to church for Christmas so … yay? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even be able to remember the Vater Unser if it wasn’t for this song. 8D)

4.) Wires by The Neighbourhood I think this is the newest all-time fave on this list, I found it in … 2015? Thank you, Youtube AMVs. Yeah man, this one is just … on so many playlists it’s not even funny anymore.

3.) Heathens by Twenty One Pilots An edgelord classic but like … it’s on EVERY playlist of mine. Every single one. It’s just so good. The first time I heard it was on the radio tho, when I was having breakfast with Jessie and I forced her to shazam it because it immediately stuck with me,,,

2.) Imaginary by Evanescence My first Evanescence song ever and the first step towards becoming who I am today I think. This song has like … such a big history for me, man. It single-handedly turned me goth in 2008 and I have never really thanked it for that.

1.) Eternal by Evanescence Might be my favourite song of all time. The number of dramatic RP scenes I have written with this in the background … man. Oh, also this song is the reason for one of my oldest internet nicknames, ‘eternala’, which subsequently shortened into Etschuh and then Tschuh, my main nickname until 2017, when I came out as trans and finally found an actual name for myself I was comfortable with!

- - - - -

NON BLANK RUNE CHARACTERS

I know this was probably supposed to be about fandom characters but I can literally not come up with a single character right now that I love with a special burning passion and that is not my or one of my friends’ OCs so you’re getting OCs now. u_u And boy do I have a lot of those.

5.) Jackson Tracey from atroCITY (mine) This little piece of shit kept me company for a pretty long time and is still very close to my heart for some reason, although I haven’t drawn him or really thought about him in detail for a while now. My favourite thing is how I only realized what a horrible person he was after I stopped regularly working with him but honestly good for me. 8D His storyline and personality is kinda convoluted and tbh I’m not really sure how much of it is canon anyway (atrc was always a little weird about canon rip) but yeah. He’s an obsessive stalker piece of shit who pities himself way too much and he is also a semi-immortal demigod who likes knives. I hate him but he also helped me a lot with some gender and sexuality stuff so thanks I guess.

4.) Mayoko Imai from Century Riders DXPrototype (Maus’ and mine) Mayoko is a magical girl protagonist with a cool cyborg arm prosthetic and her main character trait was that she was basically a reverse weeaboo, a Japanese girl who was obsessed with American media, culture and comic book heroes! I actually love her concept a lot and she also had a pretty cool character arc in her story (which Maus and I wrote together and actually finished btw!), although it could use a lot more … polishing from today’s point of view. But I love her anyway. She always wanted to do the right thing and be a hero and got broken pretty cruelly and her ending is kinda bittersweet I guess? Ahh there’s just so much nuance to it … anyways, CR3 also stuck with me for a very long time and I enjoyed the time with her a lot. :3 (Her name had a cameo in Another Incident btw heehee)

3.) Tessa *insert extremely long chain of unnecessary first names here* von Lean from Nobody Is Perfect and Infernal Temptation (belongs to one of my old school friends) Tessa is just … a hand full. I love to hate her. She is badly written and developed and just OOZES mentally ill teenage girl’s idealized self-insert power fantasy, but she just … man, she was a big part of one of my most drama-filled high school friendships which I love looking back at so much. Tessa has fucked so many of my characters … good for her tbh! There are actually two versions of her, one is just a ‘normal’ teenage girl and one can shapeshift into a cheetah, but both of them are very close to my heart. I should really adopt and redesign her some day.

2.) Judy Khayat from Original vs. Final (mine) Look, I love all my OvF-characters and every single one of them is special to me in their own way, but Judy is just … the most complex of them all I think? Man, she went through so much … she is actually one of my oldest (semi)-active characters (I created her in 2009) and her latest version is from 2016 but I should really, REALLY revise her again tbh. She has a very complicated backstory that I didn’t handle as carefully as I should have, and anger issues and religious conflict and depression and PTSD and then Vance of all people becomes obsessed with her for no reason and decides to traumatize her even more … yeah. God I really love her but I seriously need to work on her. A LOT. I should also finally rename her tbh … let’s just see where she takes me next.

1.) Okami (I don’t even remember if she has a proper last name rn lol) from Split Realm (mine) Yeah, that bitch is just my favourite OC. She’s also very old, probably from around 2009, and initially was a magical girl with fire powers who I played in an RP with my friend Flauch but boy did she grow up! Holy fuck. Okami is a horrible person but I love her so much. She is so violent and full of anger and pain and sadness and treats everyone around her like shit and she is in love and she is a demon but also apparently the personification of the concept of Chaos but she just wants to be a teenager again and run away with the love of her life and ahhh it’s all so hopeless for her … also she turned out gnc af with time passing and pretty much went through a gender/sexuality crisis in real time with me, her creator, which is always fun. :^D I haven’t drawn her in a while tbh. Should really do that.

- - - - -

RUNES IN BLANK RUNE

I’m just gonna go with the arcs here, okay? Also this entire answer might look completely different if you asked me again tomorrow, you know how indecisive I am with Blank Rune shit ahha,,,

5.) Jera Look. I know I’m boring and stupid. But I just love Tave and Liam having their disgusting little foreshadowing talk, okay? I can read it over and over. I just love my horrible little shit crime boys. Also Rhy and Phillip are there. (’:

4.) Isa This one is here because it was the first arc I witnessed in real time which gives it a very special place in my heart and it also … hit pretty hard at the time. But having read Fehu it’s become even better now! It’s just such a wonderful, tragic romance between two horrible, ruthless boys and I … I’m not immune to Rhy, sadly. :-/ Just like Phillip.

3.) Wunjo We still haven’t seen everything that leads up to Wunjo yet, but we DO know more than we did initially (wow shocker) and it’s just always a fucking blast. Also, it has the first mention of Ash’s real name … the first Rhy POV (which what the fuck!! I always feel like we had one before but we didn’t!! Wild) and it has crazy blood-soaked murder Tave, my beloved. :///3

2.) Eiwaz You guys have heard me fanboy about Eiwaz so many times already. Eiwaz-OT3 (and Kain) my beloved!!! It’s just SUCH an amazing starting point and there are so, so many things that tie back to it and every time we find out about a new one my heart makes a little jump … und es beginnt von Neuem indeed.

1.) Gebo One of the most painful but also the most beautiful arcs yet in my opinion. It’s been hyped up for so long and boy did it deliver. God, my heart still hurts when I think about that last scene. Also all the dialogue … the golden lines we got … and it’s an arc without Rhy! Crazy!! :-D I just love the relationship between Ash, Astrid and Jakob so much. God fuck I want what they have. Just maybe without the murder suicide,,,

- - - - -

FOOD

5.) Diese Sonntagsbrötchen wo die Verpackung so plopp macht, wenn man die Folie abzieht Better than normale Brötchen for some reason. Most of the time. See 2.) Look man, I just really love a good breakfast …

4.) Chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese topping One of the first things from a certain baking book I tried when I was getting into baking back in 2019. God they are so tasty. I don’t make them often so I don’t get used to them too much and eating them still feels special but ahhhh I love them so much!

3.) Grünkohl mit Kartoffelbrei und Mettendchen One of my favourite things about autumn/winter and one of my biggest comfort foods. God I love this shit so much. I just put … mountains of Grünkohl and Kartoffelbrei on my plate every time and I will just warm it up for four days straight until there’s no more left. It turns me into a fucking caveman. I’m not even big on eating meat but … yeah. Everything is different when there’s Grünkohl.

2.) Normales Brötchen mit Butter und Scheibenkäse aber ich bin beim Frühstücksbuffet im Hotel Oddly specific but that’s just how it is. Sorry. Nichts geht über Brötchen mit Käse.

1.) Chilli-Knoblauch-Nudelauflauf My beloved. My comfort food. I eat it literally every second day. At least one hour in the kitchen every time. Fresh ingredients. My only vegetable intake. And I’ve been doing that for three years. I just love it so much, man. I cook it for everyone who visits me. Chilli-Knoblauch-Auflauf cured my depression.

[hms-chill]

Feeling Deeply

Summary: It’s nearing the seventh anniversary of Henry’s dad’s death, and navigating the succession process only makes that harder, but at least Alex is there to help.

Chapter 2

The next morning, Henry's alarm wakes them both far too early. Alex has essays to write and grants to find and things to do while Henry's in meetings for the day, but getting up for them is the last thing in the world he wants to do. He just wants to stay right where he is, so when Henry starts to move toward getting up, Alex tightens his arms around him and nuzzles into his shoulder. Henry laughs a bit, running a hand through what Alex can already tell is an atrocious bed head, and Alex feels his heart soar. Today is better, then.

"I've got to get up, Love."

"No. Won't let you. Stay here," Alex grumbles, and Henry laughs again, moving away enough to press a kiss to Alex's forehead.

"I love you. And I... I really appreciate what you did for me last night. Thank you."

"I love you." He says it half buried in Henry's neck, but he looks up in time to see the little smile on Henry's face. He runs his hand though Alex's hair again before bringing it down to cup Alex's jaw, and Alex melts.

"I do have to get up. I'm meeting with some donors for breakfast, then with Pez at his favorite brunch place, then Buckingham all afternoon."

"Come back for lunch? I miss you," Alex says, and Henry gives him a smile.

"I'll do my best. I miss you, too."

Henry kisses his forehead, then his nose, and then Alex is smiling into a kiss on the lips. He watches from the bed as Henry goes about the process of getting ready for a day of meetings, building a prince around the core of a young man. It's something Alex has seen a hundred times by now, but it doesn't seem to take as long as it used to. When Henry kisses him goodbye and promises to have the kitchen send up coffee, there's more of Henry in the prince than there's ever been, and Alex is beyond glad.

It's only after Henry is gone that Alex launches into action, getting himself ready for the day. Henry thinks he's just going to be taking it slow and adjusting to the time difference before a fancy state dinner, and that was his initial plan, but after last night, it's been revised a bit. Bea's texted, so he takes his coffee to the music room and finds her on the couch, fiddling with something he thinks is called a thumb harp. She sets it down to come wrap him in a hug as soon as he appears, and he has to be careful not to spill hot coffee down her back.

"Thank you for doing this for him."

"Of course. Thank you for helping. I'll probably ask your mom, too, but I wanted to make sure it was a good idea first, and I thought you might know better than she would."

Bea just nods, and they get to work. She's got to go before too long, her own series of charity meetings and projects to get to, but she promises to send Alex an email with everything he needs to set his plan into motion. He texts Catherine as he makes his way back to Henry's room to work, and she responds quickly, so Alex settles in and gets started on something much, much more important than another project could ever be.

He does finish his essay and start his grant search before he meets Henry for lunch, an honest to god picnic in a secluded part of Kensington Gardens, because it's beautiful out and Henry's been inside all day. And lunch is perfect, all laughter and casual touches and stealing bites of each other's food as they finally, finally get to spend time together after days apart. Henry had come into it looking a little tired and with a hug that begged for a break, but he looks better as they're wrapping up. Alex suggests they walk to Buckingham, because it's a nice day and it's not too far, and the fresh air is clearly doing Henry good. So Henry grabs his hand, and they drop the picnic basket off at Kensington and start toward Henry's next meeting. Alex can feel the tension building as they get closer, as Henry gets ready to go in and see every piece of his family's history that could ever hurt them picked apart and put on full display. Alex just distracts him as best he can, rambling about all sorts of things and keeping a tight hold on his hand.

When they get to Buckingham, Henry gives him a hug, the kind that says he wants Alex to stay close even if he can't. So Alex hugs him as tightly as he can and tells him he's proud of him. He offers to break into the meeting and cause a ruckus to end it, and that makes Henry laugh, and when he pulls out of the hug, he's got his armor back on. Alex stands on his toes to kiss him, and Henry goes, leaving Alex to try not to feel like he's sending his boyfriend into a war zone.

He takes his laptop back to the Waterloo Vase for the afternoon, because of all the places to study, a towering vase that reminds him of how much Henry loves him is probably the best one. Henry finds him there a few hours later and greets him with a hug that just says he's tired, tired of all the questions and the taking and the picking. It's a hug that's begging for cuddles and an episode or two of Bake Off, but it's not one that means Henry's going to fall apart or that he needs a long weekend where they don't see anyone else, so Alex counts it as a win.

They go back to Kensington and facetime June, and she puts David on so Henry can baby talk to him while she and Alex catch up. Then, Alex and Henry curl up on a couch in the music room to watch Parks and Rec with Bea, Henry's head on Alex's shoulder as Alex tries to absorb some of the "too much" that gets to him in times like these.

Their last event of the day is a state dinner, and Henry is tired, but Alex can tell he's enjoying it as much as he ever enjoys events like this. There are interesting people to talk to, and there's good food, and afterward they're free to mingle with whoever they'd like, so in sum, it's far from the worst. Alex gets into a conversation with a Hungarian diplomat about the finer points of Hungary's shift to the Euro, and he sees Henry laugh at something one of the waiters says. He tries not to be too distracted by that laugh, tries not to fall too much in love with the fact that in a room full of diplomats and politicians and activists, Henry has chosen to talk to a member of palace staff.

Eventually, Alex is getting another glass of champagne when Henry comes to give him a hug that asks if they can go. Alex puts the fresh champagne flute down and takes his hand instead, and Henry leads him through a side door and into the kitchen. From the kitchen, they stop in a wine cellar just long enough to grab a bottle before Henry is leading the way back out to Buckingham Gardens. He tucks them away somewhere out of sigh of the palace and lies down on the grass, tugging Alex down to join him before turning his attention to the sky.

"Looking for Orion?" Alex teases, but Henry shakes his head.

"Orion's a winter constellation. I'm not sure what I'm looking for; maybe Leo or Signus."

Alex chuckles, but Henry doesn't say anything, just moves to rest his head on Alex's chest, eyes still turned toward the stars. Alex puts a hand in his hair, but doesn't say anything. Henry's quieter now than he has been for a while, the sort of quiet sadness that Alex knows comes over him sometimes, so rather than try to force him to talk, Alex wraps an arm around his chest and waits.

"We used to do this with my dad," Henry says eventually. "He'd take us out at night, each of us on our own, and he'd show us where the constellations were. It's... my earliest memory with him is waking up late one night, and I was so sleepy, but he wrapped me in a blanket and took me outside to see Orion. He told me that every culture in the world could see a soldier or a hunter or a hero in those stars, and he taught me to see it, too. And I... well, in the Greek myth, Orion's a bit of an ass. More than a bit, if I'm honest. So I decided that my dad was probably a better hero to celebrate, and I told him he was the one the stars made a picture of. I pretended the whole world saw those stars and decided to celebrate my dad. And now, he... well. That's why I look for Orion the way I do. It... it was always sort of our constellation, and I... I like to think, sometimes, that he's connected to it somehow. I know that's a bit daft, but it's nice to imagine."

"I don't think it's daft," Alex says. Henry's quiet, and again, it's the sort of quiet Alex doesn't want to step on.

"This... this is seven years since he died. Seven is... well, I'm not sure how much I buy it, but it's an important number in nearly every religion. So if I'm, you know, especially maudlin or quiet..."

"I understand. I mean, I... I understand as much as I can," Alex says. "And I love you. Even when you're maudlin or quiet. Especially then."

Henry turns his head and kisses Alex's chin. Alex smiles and kisses the side of Henry's head, just above his ear. Henry opens the wine, then points out his first constellation. Alex holds him close, and after a bit, he asks, "H? I know we're supposed to be taking time and relaxing after this week, but would you maybe want to visit your dad while we're on vacation?"

Henry sits up, and Alex is worried for a moment, but then Henry grabs his face and kisses him, and he feels a flood of warmth as he realizes he's said the right thing.

On AO3, Chapter 1

Notes:

@steelrosealchemist and I were talking about Orion a few days ago, and it's my favorite constellation, so I thought it might be nice to work in some backstory about why Henry's looking for it on New Year's, right before he makes a move. So there’s that fun little tidbit for y’all.

[risingmoonyue]

“Shinichi” Being “Conan”

(Consider this a part two to The “Conan is Shinichi” Issue~)

I think we can all agree that Shinichi kind of does a horrible job being Conan, especially at first. He gets a lot better, but he still tends to stick out. He acts younger than he is, he got himself stuck acting saccharine sweet towards any and all adults, and he tends to slip up, though he has gotten better as the manga and show goes on.

Which like, kudos to Kudo for putting together something plausible spur of the moment and sticking to it pretty well, but it could be better. What could he do? Well, let's look at his back story first.

“Conan” is a distant relative of Agasa and Yukiko who was sent out to live with Agasa after his parents got in an accident. Since Agasa couldn't take care of him at the time, he was trusted with the Mouris. Later, his parents are better but busy so he gets to stay longer.

So, let’s go through this one by one, then analyze his personality after.

XXX

“ ‘Conan’ is a distant relative of Agasa and Yukiko”

“Since Agasa couldn't take care of him at the time, he was trusted with the Mouris”

So, in their fabricated backstory, he is very, very distantly related to Agasa and Yukiko. Very distantly. Another thing I’ve seen around, and I’m not sure if it’s canon or just fanon since my (very) light research didn’t give me anything, but a lot of people say “Conan” is from America. So let’s just roll with it and assume that it is canon--and if it’s not, its a fun revision that can be used to help his backstory.

Making Conan a distant relative not only gives them a reason to know Conan beforehand (and a reason for Conan to trust him), but gives a reason for Conan to be put where he was. “Conan” knows Agasa, so he was sent there to stay. He also “knows” the Kudos, which means he “knows” Shinichi, which means he’s undoubtedly “heard” about Ran and the Mouri family by association, which gives a reason as to why Conan would so easily stay with their family--beyond, you know, being a “six” year old and actually being the sixteen year old best  friend of Ran. 

Now for the “America” portion of this. This excuse actually has the potential of being Conan’s saving grace in this whole backstory. While he could have been a primarily Japanese family, most kids in America either grow up mostly using English or Bilingual so they can translate for parents. Of course, we know his parent, both as Edogawa and Kudo probably know English, but the point is if he was really from America then he has a good excuse for the times he may slip up--being more familiar with people “Conan” doesn’t know and not using honorifics (“honorifics are weird, in America we just call each other by our first names or by Mr or Ms”), certain behaviors not usually associated with kids (“But everyone does that in America!”), being a nosy little snot (“In America people tell me being curious is a good thing”)--you know, stuff like that. Attribute strange behavior to a mixture of foreignness and being related to two very strange families.

Plus, if he was “raised” in America, he has an excuse to be fluent in English. It wouldn’t even matter if it was accented, because his family is clearly Japanese, and he’s fluent in that too. Saying things in English would just help affirm to other people (admittedly, probably not Ran when she’s in a suspicious mood) that Conan was not raised in Japan. His slips would be covered, and people don’t get confused why a six year old understands English, especially since he’s clearly a very smart boy, even when pretending to be a kid. 

“his parents got in an accident”

“Later, his parents are better but busy so he gets to stay longer”

This was given as the reason for “Conan” originally being with Agasa, as well as the reason “Conan” didn’t recognize his mom--after the accident she plumped up and he didn’t recognize her. Of course, if you’ve seen that case, you know it was actually Yukiko pretending to be a BO member (which was a jerk move), but at the time he didn’t realize that, and acted accordingly. Not a whole lot to discuss about this excuse, it’s pretty solid beyond “Conan” never mentioning how he misses his parents, or wondering how they’re doing, even after his “mom” finally visits. 

XXX

So now we move onto his personality.

“Conan” tends to act differently depending on who he’s with, which makes sense, because being in a deep cover role nonstop has to be tiring, especially to someone who very clearly isn’t an actor (in the conventional sense) and values truth and life as much as he does. 

There are three main personalities we see: the first is the one he tends to show those older than his physical age, especially the ones who either don’t know how smart he is or are getting a little closer than Conan is really comfortable with. The second is the one he shows to the Detective Boys most often: sarcastic, tired, and that older brother who’s trying really, really hard to control these crazy kids he accidentally created, but they Do Not Listen. He still acts younger than his sixteen/seventeen, but he is much calmer and more mature than he is in the first personality. The third is when he just acts like himself. This one, his true personality for lack of better words, is the one that shows up when he either slips up (on a case or in some nostalgic moment usually) or is talking with someone “in the know,” like Haibara or Hattori. He also acts much closer to his third personality with Kaito KID. 

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s move through this tangles web of Oof and see how “Shinichi” could act better as “Conan,” or at least excuse his behavior around people. 

Obviously, it wouldn’t be good to keep the saccharine kiddy act forever. People are going to start realizing he acts different; the Detective Boys have, and it irks them. So if someone asks him about it, what could he say that excuses his two “public” personalities?

There are a few excuses I can think of:

One: “Conan” was nervous because he really wanted Ran and everyone else “Shinichi-niisan” told him about to like him so be acted really, really nice, and after a while it became habit because “he” was afraid they would be mad at him.

This one works because it takes childish insecurities and a childish idea mixed with childish immaturity to create a reason that could realistically have come from a kid, especially a kid around new people that they’ve heard a lot about from someone they “admire”. I’m not sure how many of you guys have been around kids, but let me just say: they come up with crazy ideas, and they can be pretty quick on the uptake. They are also unendingly stubborn when they want to be. 

Two: “Conan” was treated weirdly by adults in “America” for being so smart, so he decided to hide it with excuses like “I saw it on TV” and acting really childish. 

Like I said before, kids are more perceptive than we give them credit, so this is a reasonable excuse. If a kid decided all these adults were treating him weird because they acted more mature than other kids their age and because they were really smart, I really wouldn’t put it past a kid to try and act differently so they would be treated more like everyone else.

Three: Combine One and Two.

This is honestly the most plausible excuse for me, because it gives “Conan” a personal stake in trying to act childish (Ran and others liking him) and a reason for thinking the way “he” does (people treating him differently back in “America”). This excuse gives him an extrinsic motivation. 

Extrinsic motivation is when someone is motivated by outside factors like money, requirements, or praise. This type of motivation is especially common in younger people, from kids to young adults, while intrinsic motivation (being motivated by internal factors like working because its fun) is more common in those in their late adulthood. 

XXX

So, that’s all I’ve got for now. My hand is cramping, my brain is squeezed from writing three pages of amateur analysis, and five bucks says I’m going to look at this in five minutes and want to change or add something. 

If there is anything I’ve forgotten, gotten wrong, or just something y’alls want me to discuss more about, let me know! 

Actually, just let me know your thoughts in general. Please.

[phrogballz]

NAME: Aki Yamato

QUIRK: Quirkless (Previously), Toxic Sludge (Currently)

SUMMARY: Yamato is able to produce a thick slime from her hands, mouth, and eyes. This slime contains a neurotoxin that causes nausea, dizziness, confusion, slurred speech, loss of balance, and mild memory loss. If the dose is high enough, paralysis may occur. Effects can last from a few hours to a day depending on the dose.

CONS: Not immune to her own Quirk, if Yamato used her Quirk extensively and without break, she would start to act erratically and impulsively, making battle dangerous and difficult. Although a high tolerance has been built, she will never be immune. Her slime will harden and stick to a target like super glue, however can be broken through intense force and rapid heat.

BACKSTORY: Born to parents Rinko and Daisuke Yamato, she grew up Quirkless in Musutafu, Japan. Living in a small section of the city above her parents' bakery, she often got to look out her window and see heroes patrolling, saving, and being flocked by adoring fans. She always found it odd and wasn't a huge fan of hero culture, although she was a fan of Gran Torino as he was her mom's favorite hero. Her parents weren't Quirkless, but their Quirks were nothing massive. Her father could manipulate fluids on a small scale, her mother able to produce a tingly balm on her skin that numbed pain and eased the contactees. After a man tried to rob her parents and she got badly injured trying to protect her mother, Aki was heavily scolded and reprimanded by the heroes for being foolish enough to think she could protect her parents. Aki became a firm believer that the world needed change, it was blinded by thinking power and Quirks fixed everything, and getting worse with each new hero. Soon learning about an experimental treatment for Quirklessness by an unknown doctor, she quickly did everything in her power to find and join the experiment.

From age 13-16, Aki was missing. She suddenly reappeared on her parents doorstep, still wearing the clothes she went missing in and having her backpack still packed for the day. She became a brief spectacle on the news, but quickly faded out of the limelight after her parents refused to answer questions and Aki refused to do the same. Her parents didn't know where she went, what she did, or why their daughter was suddenly back and changed. Her mother called it a miracle.

Aki knew better.

After completing her lost time in school in record speed, she applied to UA much to her family's surprise. She awaits approval.

STATUS: Alive and taking it into her own hands to train her Quirk.

PICREW: https://picrew.me/image_maker/234517

(( FIRST DRAFT OF NEW CHARACTER, PLS BE KINDA AND KNOW GHAT THIS WILL BE EXPANDED AND REVISED. THANK YOU (◠‿・)—☆))

[kestrelblaze]

Cats I think Deserved Better

Basically the series is rife with cats that had interesting plot ideas/lines that got shafted by the Erin's and I've decided I wanted to list them more.

1. Leafpool

I had already made a post about her, but basically her entire character arc felt really squandered. She could have been used to show that the Code needed revision and some elements caused more harm then good, referencing former medicine cats that had kits as evidence along with the fact that having kits did not impact her ability at all.

They even could have used this to show Mothflight in Starclan realizing the code she made was inherently flawed and catered more to her than medicine cats as a whole.

2. Speckletail and Snowkit

If you don't remember them Speckletail was a queen during the first series and also the mother of the deaf Snowkit who was taken by a hawk during book 5: A Rising Storm and was used primarily as a plot device to show how far Bluestar had fallen.

A deaf character alone is wasted potential, but this gets really noticeable when you realize Speckletail had developed a way to to communicate with Snowkit (there being an implication that he wasn't completely deaf). If they kept dead Snowkit it would have been nice to see Speckletail come to terms with it instead of just being shoved off into the Elder's Den and forgotten.

3. Sootfur and Rainwhisker

Rainwhisker was my favorite side character for awhile, and being that they are implied to be the sons of Whitestorm, who was Firestar's first deputy, I felt they had a lot of wasted potential. We never had any scenes of them or their sister Sorreltail grieving over their parents, or talking about their POV of previous events and that always bothered me.

4. Stormfur and Brook

The Tribe as a whole is a missed opportunity to me, especially since its shown they arent that far from the clans and since their introduction they always have at least one book where the current PoV cat has to go deal with an issue. But to be more specific to these cats, I think Storm and Brook are more of a missed opportunity in terms of being Tribe cats that joined Thunderclan, mostly because Stormfur was originally a Riverclan cat and that after a few books with no use of them beyond being background characters they got sent back home.

It could have been an amazing way to bring attention back to Riverclan to have Stormfur go back and trying to reintegrate into his old clan, maybe him and Brook having to leave it for Thunderclan due to not fitting in to their particular clan again. The two in general had great ideas behind them, especially concerning Graystrip and Millie and they could have had some interesting interactions about Silverstream but....

5. Riverclan as a whole after TPB

As a whole, Riverclan heavily got the shaft after the cats moved territories. I blame this in part due to the borders shifting and Thunderclan sharing a border with Windclan and Shadowclan now but it is still glaringly obvious when you consider how much screen time they had in the beginning and how their part in the Alliances barely ever changes now.

6. Darktail, Onestar, and Sleekwhisker

Darktail was an amazing villain in aVoS, and he actually had an interesting backstory with Onestar that came.... out of absolutely nowhere. There was no hints to his existence and tbh it felt like an asspull (which it probably was tbh). Especially when you consider for him to exist he had to be born in the old territories, and the only logical time he could have been born without making him an elder would have been between book 6 and Firestar's Quest. Some more elaboration between him and Onestar would have been amazing, especially since Onestar really needed some development himself.

A way to do this in an amazing way would have been to make Heathertail a PoV character. She is heavily implied to be Onestar's daughter and thus Darktail's Half Sister and could have given us valuable insight into how Windclan was dealing with the Kin, giving us more hints to Darktail being Onestar's son, and fleshing out her romance with Breezepelt.

Add to this is his implied mate Sleekwhisker. Watching Darktail die, she could have easily been used to take up the mantle and become the overarching villain and leader of the Kin for the final 3 aVoS books instead of just... taking off. She would have made an excellent villain for how deranged she was and how the fandom already hated her, but instead she was a wasted potential. I am hoping in the theory that she took off because she was pregnant with Darktail's kits tho.

7. Hollyleaf

I know, dead horse here, but Hollyleaf in general was an amazing character and had so much potential. Her fanatical loyalty to the code could have been used in so many ways especially if she was given a power. A youtuber named Roseshard (I think) made the theory that her power should have been forcing cats around her to speak the truth when she questioned them and if you combine that with her fanatical loyalty to the code this could have made her a very compelling character.

If we kept it as is, her returning to the clan having matured in the caves was also a wasted opportunity, especially since she dies. I will admit this: Lionblaze should have died over Hollyleaf.

Now, I get what you are thinking: with Lionblaze's ability he couldnt, and Jayfeather is needed in his slot. From a narrative standpoint, it would have made a much better ending if Lionblaze put his ability to the real test and to save his clan took on the Dark Forest himself, a battle that would eventually end in his death but saving his clan (I'm not talking the whole of Dark Forest, just a big chunk of their warriors). Hollyleaf returning just to die did nothing for the narrative and after a full 5-6 books of Lionblaze and Jayfeather morning her it would have been better to keep her dead, or kill off someone else instead.

8. Twigbranch and Violetshine

Outside of Twigbranch having an amazing name and Violetshine basically being a teen mom and switching from Shadowclan to Skyclan (and them being Hawkwing's kits), can you tell me anything interesting they actually did in aVoS? I rest my case.

9. Ivypool and Dovewing

I know, both were POV cats but they felt so wasted.

I boil this down to having to share the spotlight with Lionblaze and Jayfeather tbh, especially in The Fourth Apprentice and Fading Echoes to the point we never got a feel of their characters. Both had really amazing qualities that were really easy to empathize with but the erins crudy writing in the series made it difficult to let them shine. Dovewing was a character who struggled to find her place in the world and focused on finding it through love, while hating her powers for making her different from her sister. Ivypool felt neglected and struggled to show she was just as capable as any other cat in the clan, getting only half the information to explain why her sister was more important.

To be honest, it would have been so much better if the books were rewritten so Dovewing was the sole narrator of The Fourth apprentice and Ivypook was the narrator of Fading Echos. Dovewing and Ivypool could switch in Sign of the Moon.

The fact the narration got split between them and Lionblaze and Jayfeather in each book really took a toll and left them underdeveloped.

10. Sandstorm

Sandstorm got a lot of screentime in the first series, but I will forever rage at the missed opportunity for Firestar to make her deputy. She showed all the qualities in the first series, and it's beyond obvious the only reason Brambleclaw was chosen was because of Protagonist Syndrome.

11. Goosefeather

Just Goosefeather.

Anyway, those are my thoughts. Feel free to add more

[makeste]

“Cool motive; still adultery” (or, ITP: makeste rants about Gokudera’s stupid dad)

@natashawogver Haha, so this reply ended up being so damn long that I ended up doing it as its own post so that I could add a cut.

First, I can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve always assumed “Gokudera” was his mother’s surname rather than his dad’s, and the parts of fandom I’ve interacted with seem to concur, I think? But since Gokudera’s father never got a canon name, I use “Gokupapa” at times just to make it clear who I’m referring to without having to type out “Gokudera’s father” every time.

Anyway! I said in my answer to your previous ask that I could go on for days about this topic, and I probably will, so! Just... be warned, lol.

The thing is, it’s absolutely possible to take Bianchi’s statement at 100% face value. It was a misunderstanding. His parents really did love each other. His mom was sick and didn’t want to get attached to him (and vice-versa), so she limited her contact with him. His father was heartbroken and wanted to marry his mother, but she refused, thinking it would be better for everyone that way. Somehow this all got twisted around, and rumors about Gokupapa’s infidelity spread, but the rumors all missed out on the crucial points that (1) he actually was in love with her, and (2) that she did from her illness rather than under any suspicious circumstances. Fine. It’s possible; it checks out; there are letters proving this; TYL!Bianchi says this is the case. So fine, let’s assume this is what actually happened.

The thing is that if this really was how the events actually played out, in my opinion it not only does not redeem Gokudera’s father, it actually kind of makes him a bigger asshole than ever. And on top of that, it makes his mom kind of an asshole too. The manga tries to play off this revelation like it’s supposed to redeem Hayato’s parents, but in actuality, if this is all true, both of them were pretty irredeemably selfish, and their actions came very close to ruining Hayato’s whole life. So okay, let’s get into all of the reasons why they, in fact, suck.

First and foremost: Gokudera’s father cheated on his wife. This is indisputable no matter which version of events we go with. He was married with a young daughter, he had a mistress, and he got his mistress pregnant. “Yes, but he was in love!” Okay! Cool motive; still adultery! “But he was going to marry her!” Sure, but then he didn’t. Nor did he divorce his previous wife. In the end he wound up pretending Hayato was her son instead. I can’t imagine she was very happy about that. Shades of Catelyn Stark and Jon Snow, most likely, except that Ned was actually a decent guy, whereas we have no evidence at all that Gokupapa was anything other than a big sack of shit.

Gokudera’s mom! Lavina! Let’s talk about her. First of all, it’s clear that whatever else, she genuinely did love her son dearly. She died before he was even three years old, and by all accounts only ever visited him a handful of times, and yet he still has deeply affecting memories of her more than a decade later. For her to have had that much of an impact on him in just that short amount of time, she must have been absolutely radiating love for him on each and every one of those visits. She’s a saint in his eyes. He loves her and misses her even though he barely knew her. I absolutely won’t argue that she didn’t love him, because all evidence says otherwise.

But -- she abandoned him. Because she thought it would be best for him, supposedly, but still. She left him with his father and basically surrendered all responsibility for him, and gave up the few short years that they could have spent together. She denied him the chance to get to know her, and minimized what seems to have been one of the few bright spots of his childhood. And by turning down Gokudera’s father (even though we’re led to believe they were in love), she ensured that her son would never have any hope of being seen as legitimate, something that ends up making his life fairly miserable later down the line.

So to sum, Gokudera’s mom = loving, but absent. As for Gokudera’s father, his infidelity is only one small aspect of his being a piece of shit! 

Let’s talk for a second about Gokudera’s childhood. By all accounts, he grew up desperately lonely. It’s clear that he and Bianchi were very isolated growing up. They don’t appear to have any friends, and they were tutored at home. It’s also fairly clear that Hayato was not receiving anything in the way of paternal affection, judging by how totally enamored he was of Shamal, idolizing him and seeking his approval and going so far as to imitate his hairstyle. Look, Shamal isn’t exactly a tender or affectionate guy. He’s mostly just an asshole! On the few occasions that he does show any type of caring toward Hayato, it’s always in the most gruff and indirect ways possible. So for this guy, as aloof as he is, to be receiving that level of reverence and admiration from this six or seven-year-old boy speaks volumes about just how starved Hayato was for any type of kindness or attention. It means that he had no one else. Maybe he wasn’t suffering from any physical abuse yet at this point, but there was absolutely neglect. And you can tell this left scars on him that he’s still struggling to deal with even as a teenager.

So now, let’s talk about the actual abuse. Poison cookies! All right, so before I start in with this, I just want to make it clear that I don’t blame Bianchi for any of it. As I’ve said before, I truly believe that she didn’t (and still doesn’t) understand the damage she actually did. She loves her little brother and her cooking was made with love; how could it possibly hurt him? There’s a lot of inherent tragedy there, because this ends up forcing the two of them apart, and up until that point, Bianchi had really been the only loving presence in Hayato’s life from what I can see. And she still doesn’t understand what caused the rift between them.

Because this was all first revealed back during the Daily Life arc, it was all played up for comedic effect, and so it wasn’t ever examined too closely. We’re not really meant to think on it too much. But later on when the manga does become serious, and more events from Hayato’s past are revealed that absolutely are serious and tragic and treated with gravity and solemnity, it gets harder to ignore the tonal whiplash. You kind of do have to go back and look at the whole poison cooking thing again, this time from a more serious standpoint. And when you do, it’s pretty damn fucked up.

Basically, Hayato was poisoned on a regular basis for two whole years. It was painful and traumatizing to the point where just the memory of it physically affects him years later. And the one responsible for making all this happen in the first place? Dear old dad. After the bizarre “success” of that first disastrous concert, Hayato is forced to eat his sister’s cookies before every single performance. His dad fucking forced him to eat poison for fucking entertainment! Like, it’s such an insanely over-the-top tragedy that that itself is the joke. It’s so absurd and so out of the blue that it’s hilarious. Or at least it is in the original context when we first get this reveal all the way back in chapter 10.

But as the manga’s tone gradually sobers up and matures, Gokudera’s role in the series shifts from “hotheaded whipping boy whose hypertragic past can be exploited for comedic purposes” to “deeply-insecure-yet-determined character whose genuinely awful past can be milked for lots of angst.” Conveniently enough, the series never revisits the whole poison cooking story once this shift takes place, but what we do get is a brand new backstory in which Gokudera despises his father because he believes that he had his mother killed. 

Let’s repeat that: Gokudera believes that his father murdered his mother. Whether or not this is actually true or not almost doesn’t matter, because the fact remains that Hayato believed this story without question from the moment he first heard it. It means there was absolutely no doubt in his eight-year-old mind that his father was capable of that. And small wonder that he wouldn’t doubt it, because this is a man who first neglected him and then later went on to abuse him. Because that’s what the poison cooking thing is, in this revised context: abuse. Full stop. There is absolutely no other way to look at it. 

So yeah! It’s pretty safe to say that a man who was capable of that would also have been capable of callously killing a woman just to cover up his own indiscretions. He doesn’t exactly have a lot going on that would make one want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

But again, canon later swings around and says this was all just a misunderstanding. He didn’t kill Lavina, and Gokudera was in fact “born into this world loved by both of his parents.” To add onto that, TYL!Bianchi tells Gokudera all this while also observing that she “doesn’t expect him to understand right now.” The implication is almost that Gokudera is somehow the one who’s been in the wrong this whole time, and he’s been unfairly assuming the worst about his dad, and judging him without fully understanding the situation.

This. Is. Bullshit. And it’s where I take the most umbrage with regards to this entire thing. Because here’s the final bit of evidence that Gokudera’s dad is The Absolute Worst, and it’s probably the most damning of all: he lets Hayato run away. He lets him leave, and there is no evidence at all that he ever made any kind of attempt to go after him and bring him home. This is an eight-year-old child, who up until this point has grown up in a fucking castle, and who has absolutely no knowledge of the real world whatsoever. He went from fairy tale levels of wealth to literally living on the street. Anything could have happened to him. Probably a hell of a lot did happen to him that will never be fully examined, because this was a manga aimed at kids and young teenagers, and also it ended back in 2012 lol. But it’s not hard to imagine. Even assuming the most G-rated version of events possible -- say, in a world where drugs and human trafficking and violent street crime somehow aren’t a thing -- he’s still homeless, and all alone. We know from canon and from the light novels that he basically just drifted from place to place. 

In the opening section of his light novel story Bakudan Bambino, he wakes up after getting himself knocked out in a brawl to find that a good samaritan has taken him in and bandaged up his wounds. He is incredibly confused by all of this, but it’s not the fact that he was knocked out and woke up in a strange place that confuses him. It’s the fact that he didn’t wake up bleeding in an alley somewhere, but that instead some guy he didn’t even know helped him out for absolutely no reason without expecting anything in return. Hayato is at such a low point in his life at this stage that he literally can’t conceive of someone actually doing that, because he’s spent the past four years having it repeatedly hammered into his head that people aren’t like that, and the world isn’t like that. He has issues. He is miserable. Later in the novel, when he asks that same good samaritan guy why the hell he keeps helping him out, the man answers that it’s because Hayato’s eyes always seem to be saying ‘help me.’ Basically, in those four years he’s been through absolute hell, and the entire fucking time he’s been suffering through it completely and utterly on his own.

But here’s the thing -- he was eight years old when he left. He had no plan whatsoever, no fucking idea what the hell he was doing. You can’t tell me he could have possibly made it very far, at least at first. Where the hell could a stupid little eight-year-old kid with no money or transportation or anything possibly could have gone that his father, a man with a ton of resources and wealth, wouldn’t have been able to track him down? He wasn’t laying low; we know for a fact that he attempted to join a number of other mafia families, only to be turned down by all of them because they didn’t want a spoiled rich brat, or “a half-breed.”

This all goes to show that they knew who he was, though. It’s not a secret. All his father would have had to do was put the word out that Hayato had gone off on his own and that he would be very grateful (in the $$$ sense) to anyone who could aid him in tracking him down and returning him. This is assuming that he couldn’t have just had his own men do it. Basically, there’s no way that Hayato successfully manages to run away and not be found unless his father actually didn’t want to find him.

And when you think about it like that, then it does start to make more sense. From the start, Gokudera’s father never shows any kind of attachment to him, and is content first to ignore his existence, and then to later on actually have him poisoned for laughs. Best case scenario, he doesn’t care about him one way or the other. Worst case, Hayato is actually a thorn in his side and he’s happy to be rid of him. Because he is still illegitimate, after all, and who knows what kind of political troubles that could end up causing as he starts to get older. And there’s a good chance that Hayato’s stepmother, Bianchi’s mother (who is never once mentioned throughout the entire series but who does, one has to assume, exist) isn’t particularly fond of Hayato and never has been. So really, who even cares if he runs away, then? In the long run it’s probably for the best. So rather than showing even the slightest bit of concern over his son’s safety and well-being, he just lets him run away and apparently disregards the matter entirely. Just abandons him to whatever might happen out there, and good riddance.

And this -- this is why I can’t swallow the whole “your parents loved you and each other” thing at the end of the day. Because even supposing that the latter part is true, the former absolutely is not. It can’t be. And it bothers me so much, because it’s like, so are we supposed to get the impression that Gokudera’s dad is just a misunderstood guy who was only ever trying to do his best, then? Because if not, why even bring any of this up? Is this supposed to be a cathartic revelation for Gokudera, to realize that not only is his dad a dick who never gave a shit about him, but that his mom, too, played a part in how these events all turned out, and that it was her choice not to ever see him? How the fuck is that supposed to make him feel better about the whole situation? In the end it somehow just makes it all end up being even more of a huge clusterfuck.

Lol oh my god. So that’s pretty much all of my thoughts on the matter. As you can see, I still have very strong opinions about all this, and I still haven’t gotten over it after all this time, to the point where I actually wrote a fic that partially revised Gokudera’s backstory just so I could resolve it all in my own mind in a way that actually felt satisfying to me. (The link is here, incidentally, and I really have some nerve linking to that considering that I still haven’t finished the epilogue for it yet. But I guess I have no shame lol.) It’s probably the single most infuriating thing in the entire series for me. I should probably chill out just a little, but! He’s my goddamn son. It’s like you said: I love everything about him too, lol. So for his sake, I will always be mildly enraged over this two-page plot point that occurred ages and ages ago and then never came up again.  (︶▽︶)b

[miriannemiri]

10 Questions Game

Tagged by @radioactivepeasant

1. How many projects/stories have you written/told?

Ah.  Well.  I don’t actually know?  I’ve gone through a couple of incarnations of online presence in a couple of fandoms, though I’ve been Miri for a decade (yes, I’ve been in fandoms for more than fifteen years), but my main focus has always been on original stories.  Of those, I’ve had one on the radio and one published.  And I have no idea how many projects sitting around in various stages on my hard drive.  I can say I have more than two million words total, and that count is. . .out of date shall we say.

2. Do you ever have multiple WIPs at once?

Pretty much constantly.  All the random little projects I post are while I’m still working on Dreamwalker (which is still ongoing, still eating my brain, and nowhere near ready to post, WHY?).  I’ve missed maybe four days of working on it since I started it in January, and I write at least 500 words a day on it.  Any other project I work on is after I write that 500.  I’ve also got several original projects that I’m semi-working on at any given time, though as mentioned, Dreamwalker is eating up a lot of my creative processes.  As is teaching, as I’ve got the equivalent of an extra class this term.  Several fairy tale or fairy tale influenced stories, naturally.  The first world I ever created gets looked over periodically and tinkered with.  I’ve got a novel in late stages of revision I’m supposed to be working on, but the revision is at a sticky point.  I really just need to declare I’m spending an hour on it every weekend and get it done.  It’s that close!

3.  What’s the first chapter book you remember reading?

Ooh, difficult question.  My parents read to me a lot as a child, and there’s a fair amount of overlap between that and what I started reading on my own.  Probably Dealing with Dragons by Patricia C. Wrede.  I love how she plays with classic fairy tale themes.  And Cimorene is such a fabulous heroine.  Narnia was also very early.  My first brush with Y.A. lit was in third grade with Tamora Pierce’s Song of the Lioness quartet, and I still love her books.  I started her when my parents said I was still a little too young for most of Robin McKinley, who is my favorite author ever.

4. Do you listen to music while writing? If so, do you ever have specific playlists for specific projects?

Mm.  Actually, I need something going on in the background to focus on my writing.  Music works (though it tends to be whatever I’m listening to at the time, rather than themed playlists).  So does setting my students to a writing exercise and waiting for them to finish, though.  (When I was a student, my “notes” were frequently actually creative writing, and when I took a bit of time between graduation and getting a job for health reasons, I’d go sit in on my father’s classes that he taught partly because they were interesting and partly because it was over an hour where I could just sit and write with background noise and guaranteed lack of interruptions.)  I also frequently put on a crime drama in the background while I write, or a baseball game.  I love baseball, but I like writing while watching it, too.

5. What is your favorite genre to write?

Oh, fantasy, always.  There’s a reason legends and myths keep creeping their way into my Star Wars fanfics.  I grew up on the feminist fairy tale books my mom got me, and I completely adore them still.  But hey, I’m a fairy tale specialist.  I teach them.  I analyze them.  I read them.  I love them.  :)

6. Do you ever experiment with other styles or genres?

Sometimes.  I do blended genres a bit.  The novel that’s in revision is near future fantasy.  I’ve got a couple fantasy/mystery blends.  My Star Wars fanfic tends to get fairy tale themes dragged into it. . .  (No, I’m not obsessive, why would you say that?! *laughs*)

7. What is your favorite line you’ve ever written?

Touch choice.  It would vary by the day.  Have a line that probably fits somewhere in Dreamwalker, even if I’m not entirely sure where:

“If you cost me my son, I will set the Galaxy aflame before I follow him.”

8. Summarize your favorite scene you’ve ever written in any of your works:

Hm.  Touch choice.  I’d have to choose between a couple for the first world I ever created.  That’s still the mythology for pretty much every original project I’ve ever written, and I have a bunch of bits and pieces about that world itself, too.  I keep rewriting the first novel set there.  It’s the first novel I ever wrote, and it has about ten incarnations at this point.  I keep experimenting with style and tinkering with the plot.

The two scenes are before the beginning and after the end of the whole saga.  Keep in mind, this is the mythology for my worlds; the characters are gods.  So there’s the classic conflict between the two highest powers, and their children are caught between them.  One of the kids knows far more about what set this conflict off than the other and is willing to pay the price he knows it will take to to end this, however many millennia will pass between.  The other kid, the one who’s actually foretold to end things, she doesn’t know, so she sees their mother’s cruelty as cruelty.  So I’ve written a scene set before the ‘verse starts, with the son and the mother discussing the price he’ll pay, if he’s ready to pay it.  And also that the mother’s reasons aren’t entirely pragmatic, that the punishment is also partly because he looks too much like his father.  And even though it probably won’t be included in any story, except maybe as backstory at the end of things, just that hinted knowledge that the reader and the main character won’t have is fun.  I had to write it.  I knew it happened, and I needed to see it, and it really informs my characterization of both of them whenever I write them.  So even though it may never be included, it’s incredibly important to me.

The other is after everything is resolved, when the son acknowledges that despite being willing, the price he paid hurt him, in a way that isn’t easy to recover from.  It’s the first time he’s ever admitted that.

9. Do you find editing a daunting prospect? Please tell me I’m not the only one.

Mm.  Revision or editing?  Editing I don’t mind, fixing smaller errors and the like.  I don’t always catch them, another set of eyes is still incredibly valuable even though I’m good at this and teach this, but it doesn’t bother me.  I loathe revising with a fiery passion.  It’s incredibly frustrating.

10. Do you ever draw or doodle the characters in your story to help you visualize a scene?

No, because I’m a lousy artist for people and things.  I can’t manage effective stick figures.  However, I do have a sketchbook and drawing pad with maps of several of my original worlds, because I can draw maps.  And that’s fun.  I’m not a visual thinker, so having an image of a world’s geography I can look at while I plan a story really helps me.

And I’m lousy at playing tag games.  Hm.  Let’s see.  Ten questions.

1.  How did you get involved in writing fanfic?

2.  How much do you like including original legends and stories in your writing, original or fanfic?

3.  How much attention do you pay to the little details, like how long a trip in hyperspace should take?

4.  Do you enjoy creating original characters?  Or is it easier to write other people’s?

5.  Favorite author?

6.  Do you have a favorite fairy tale?  If so, what?  (I’m really convincing on the not obsessive front. . .)

7.  Do you find the visual details of characters or the mindset easier to write when writing emotional scenes?

8.  If you could dictate the topic of a Star Wars spin off, what would it be?

9.  Favorite trope?

10.  Have you ever had a trope that really isn’t your cup of tea get into your head and make you try to figure out how to make it work?  (I’m currently suffering through this.)

Hm.  Who to tag.  Well, completely voluntary, but if @kaelinaloveslomaris, @laivaaja, and @flaminganakin would like to answer?  Or if @radioactivepeasant would like tagged back!  :)

[stunudo]

Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.

Fulton Oursler

Mending and Bending: A Criminal Minds Fan-fiction

Requested by: @marvelfanlife

Featuring: Jennifer Jareau x Female Reader

Setting: Season 10 (Little AU backstory: Will left JJ after she never told him about her miscarriage overseas. So there is no baby Michael, sorry!)

Rating: Mature  Warnings: Out of the blue, tiny bit of smut

A/N: This is my second requested piece, thank you so much for thinking of me! I really hope you like it, she gave me a lot to work with! I added some dimension to the reader’s kids: Jonah (OC) and Lucy (OC). Also, as a mom, this was super emotional for me. I hope I hit some feels for you too! xoxo Stu

I do not own the characters from the show, images or quotes.

Your name: submit What is this?

It was ironic, the days she wasn’t working a case were the hard ones now. When she was able to pick Henry up from school, you would see her. As you picked up your own kids, Lucy and Jonah from the same school, her bright eyes and eager smile dazzling from across the playground. There was a time when these were the best days, when she was home safely. Now the days had reversed and life was more surreal than storybook.

Jonah had noticed you watching JJ, but you just gave him a small smile and rubbed his buzzed head. “So, kiddo, how was gym class today?”

“Mama! No fair! I wasn’t going to bring it up.” He groaned. You sighed, letting it go. He hated gym class because his gym teacher couldn’t remember or wouldn’t try to use his male name. The rest of the school had been very receptive since Joni became Jonah officially, at the beginning of the school year. But since the gym teacher had taught him since kindergarten as Joni; it was still a slow process.

Where was Lucy? You scanned the jungle gym, the basketball court, the double doors that released the kids each day; she wasn’t there. Your search became more frantic, until you saw her little head running after Henry Lamontagne. ‘Oh, Lucy, not today sweetie, please? Mama wants to hide and avoid her,’ you thought. Suddenly your little girl was down, tripped over an untied shoe; the tears were eminent. You rush to her just as her ragged voice screeched, “Mama! Mama! I, <sob> I, <sob> fell!” She came limping to you.

You hug her tear spattered face to your abdomen, rubbing the back of her head. Henry came running back, grabbing your legs and Lucy into a tight squeeze. “Lucy, don’t cry,” He begged, “You can catch me tomorrow!” You smiled down at Henry’s blonde head.

“Thanks, Henry, that was one sweet hug, little man,” You whispered. You felt her blue eyes on your group hug, guilt mixed with regret and longing flushed your cheeks. You sighed, “We’ll see you tomorrow, ‘kay?” Henry nodded, rubbing Lucy on the back once more. You sucked up your pride and nodded at J.J. as Henry crossed the pavement. She respectfully inclined her head, the slightest smile on her usually cheery lips.

“Y/N, that is ridiculous!” JJ snapped at you, her nostrils flaring.

“No, you think it is ridiculous, because you don’t watch him watch you,” You explained, trying to remain calm. “J.J., he still has feelings for you, you need to let him down gently, poor kid.”

She just shook her head at you, “I will say nothing of the sort. Spence doesn’t love me like that, Y/N. We’re family, not romantic, why can’t you see that?”

You sighed, the jealousy burning through you. Not only did the team get her at work, they were emotionally still with her at home too. You were sick of the denial, especially since she wasn’t sharing you with them. Six months together and she wouldn’t admit she had a girlfriend and you were the one being ridiculous?!

This was the fight that had made you wake up to how rapidly things had gotten unhealthy with her. This was the fight that was etched into your mind when your body yearned for her tiny waist and elegant features. It was the memory that grounded you, kept you from missing her too badly. That, and wine.

You were swamped, you had two revisions due back to the authors by the end of the week, your usual sitter had bailed because of tonsillitis and your mom wanted your help planning your dad’s retirement party. Luckily, it was raining, so soccer practice had been cancelled. You sat in your Subaru, idling in the pick up lane, checking your email as you waited for the bell to sound, returning your babies to you.

Your phone buzzed with an incoming text, but you swiped it ignored as you finished a quick reply email. Then there were a collective pounding of little hands along the passenger side of your car. You unlocked the door, noting a pale face climbed in out of the rain with your littles.

“Henry is coming to our house!” Lucy proclaimed proudly. Jonah was the last one in, closing your family away from the noise and moisture outdoors.

“Hey Henry? Did you talk to your sitter before following Jonah and Luce?”

“Nope, Y/N,” Henry grinned, ”I asked my mom, duh!” Jonah laughed, “Yeah, Mama, JJ says it’s okay! She messaged you.”

“Hooray, Henry is coming over,” Lucy sing-songed. “It has been for-ev-er!”

You scrolled to your messages, sure enough JJ had sent it before, you realized. ‘Your kids’ cuteness wins again. Pick him up after dinner?” Your cheeks felt oddly tingly, you realized you were grinning like a fool. Your smile muscles strained from lack of use. You quickly replied: ‘Sounds like a plan! See you around 7?’

She sent back her signature thumbs up emoji in confirmation. You held your phone to your heart, allowing yourself a moment before pulling into after school traffic.

Having Henry over lessened the gap your family felt during this transition. The happy life with JJ and Henry to the happy life after JJ and Henry, you had all been swimming in that gap between. Lucy wouldn’t leave his side the whole afternoon. Even while he used the bathroom, she waited outside the door. She kept talking to him, in her own way ensuring he hadn’t left yet.

Jonah and Henry had lots of Pokemon battles to make up for the nearly two months apart. Jonah had more legendaries, but Henry had strategy on his side.

“Uncle Spencer says using the right trainers at the right time is just as important as using good Pokemon.” Henry explained to Jonah. You rolled your eyes, of course the genius godfather had an expert opinion in the card game.

“How is Uncle Spencer?” You asked Henry offhandedly, grateful that little kids have few social reservations.

“He’s fine.” Henry answered. “He comes over to play when Mommy is sad.” This little tidbit was alarming. Did that mean he was there to take care of Henry? Or was he playing at something more? Why were you still jealous of the guy; you had already lost her? Your brain needed to stop. Was J.J. struggling? More importantly was she struggling like you were? You exhaled, returning to the dining room table and the boys’ match up.

“How is your mom, buddy?”

“Fine, Y/N.” Henry brushed off your interest as he reshuffled his cards. Jonah looked up from his cards, shaking his head at your blatant curiosity and boundary pressing. Why did your kid always have to be the perceptive one?

She was early, as usual. She knocked on the door to your rental house, as you were convincing Lucy that dessert wasn’t an option EVERY night of the week. Her pouting face melting away as she realized who was behind the front door.

“JJ?!” Lucy squealed as she ran to the front hall. You were hot on her bare heels, your heart doing its own form of tap dance. Lucy whipped the door open wide and jumped out at JJ, with the unique fearlessness of a five year old. JJ’s impeccable reflexes and mother’s gentleness caught and gathered your girl into her embrace. As much as this hurt to witness, it felt so easily normal. Lucy adored JJ and JJ her.

“Hi!” You greeted your ex, as awkwardly as you felt. You waved her inside, “Henry is just packing up his binder in the living room.”

JJ glanced around, noticing the subtle changes from the couple months of not being there everyday. You had rearranged some furniture. The Y/L/N house had undergone a Feng Shui attempt to clear out the negative energy or something along those lines.

“Looks great in here, Y/N.” She kindly admitted. You smile, appreciating her obvious nervousness at being here, with you.

“The kids really miss Henry. Thanks for letting him come over today.” You added after a few minutes watching the kids distract each other from cleaning up.

“Y/N,” JJ started, her eyes darting between your collective pack of kids, “Henry, really misses Jonah and Lucy Goose too.” Her eyes were saying more. They were, right? In her eyes, you lost all space and time. Suddenly Henry was tugging on JJ’s arm.

“Mom, we should go to the park this weekend. There’s going to be a boat race, Jonah saw a flier.” JJ ruffled Henry’s straight locks.

“We’ll see, buddy” Her usual default response.

“If you’re in town, perhaps we’ll see you there?” You mentioned, off the cuff, leading them out the doorway. “Or if Will doesn’t have H this weekend, I could take him?” You were trying to keep the desperation out of your voice. This was how any other mom-friend would suggest things, right? She smiled gently at you.

“I’ll, uh, let you know. Thanks again.” She waved over her shoulder, her profiler eyes catching all the relief you felt as it passed over your face.

JJ’s hands were gripping your Trapezius muscles, her fingernails digging in. Your coated lips were blowing on her sweet spot as you rocked the little vibrator against it. You looked up into her scrunched face, knowing that she was too overwhelmed to look back at you. Her toned legs were spread out before you. You sighed, even her orgasm face was gorgeous. She panted as your fingers worked her core, which was quickly tightening with her climax. “Shit, Y/N, thatsss, uh, mmmmm!” Her voice cut through the quiet night.

You sat up, alone in bed. Her taste a welcome memory lingering from your dream. You unconsciously rubbed your neck, remembering how the little half moons had speckled your skin for a week after that night. You went to grab some water to clear your throat. Was this going to happen each time you saw her? Perhaps it wasn’t smart to make plans with JJ and the kids so soon. You returned to bed and turned on the television for some distraction to send you back to sleep.

“But, Mama!” Lucy whined, “Jonah says that the race starts at ten. Is he right or what?” You shake your head, pulling the brush through her tangles. You settled on little pony tail puffs because patience was not in your vocabulary yet at eight o’clock in the morning.

“Um, I’m not sure if he is right, but we can check again,” You explained, “AFTER you brush your teeth.

The morning bustle to get out of the door quickly on a weekend, kept you from overthinking your dream/memory. You were working down a list in your mind: 1. Dressed 2. Coffee 3. Breakfast 4. Kids dressed. 5. Everything else to get ready. 6. Get in the car, people!

Driving to the park took about ten minutes, parking was another ten, this mini boat race was some deal after all.  You caught Jonah’s shining smile in the rear view mirror, it was a perfect contrast with his dark skin. “Ready, buddy?” You asked as he nodded enthusiastically. He was out of his seat and unbuckling Lucy as you got the bulky park essentials bag from the hatch. You let the man of the house lead the way today, since he was the one who had memorized the informational flier in the first place.

The playground was crawling with kids and clusters of parents conversing or pretending to as they scanned their phones. You brought one of the manuscripts with you and a plethora of pens to keep you occupied before the race started in a little under an hour.

“And I thought I worked too much,” JJ’s teasing voice called you out of your editing trance. You shielded your eyes to look up to her haloed outline. “Well, actually I know I do.” She admitted, sitting beside you on your tie blanket. You glanced at her, being all casual with you. What were you supposed to do with the utter friendliness?

“You seem to be doing alright balancing it all this week,” You complimented, keeping your eyes on the playground to keep actual thoughts and words forming in your head.

“Hotch gave us a week off, rough case and he has some family stuff he is working on.” JJ admitted. Some things never change, you thought ruefully. “So,” She added with purpose,”Henry said that you wanted to talk to me?”

Oh crap. Here it was, the karma for being too nosy the other day. Oh crap, what were you supposed to say to that? Your face was warm and you bit your bottom lip. “Um?” You mumbled, finally turning to actually look her in her curious face. You shook your head at her as the confusion you felt became obvious.

“Oh, man, did they try to parent trap us?” JJ asked, laughing nervously. She had a great laugh, even when she was forcing it.

You patted her hand in consolation, “It sounds like they got us, the stinkers.” Gently, she flipped her hand over, holding your smooth one in her rougher, stronger one. You caught your breath. Was this really happening? Her hands were always so warm, it felt so right around yours.

You were shaking, but held fast to her hand like the lifeline it was. “Y/N, I was stubborn, I never should have let you leave.” She leaned closer, sitting criss-cross apple sauce now. Her cerulean eyes honest and stormy. “I know we can’t fix everything overnight and that we need to be sure since the kids are involved. But I would really like to give this another shot, I’m not ready to give up on us.”

You were now crying, her confession and declaration felt like a fairy tale. “JJ, I’m am so sorry. I was so self conscious that I let my jealousy push us apart.” You held both of her hands now, fingers intertwining in nervous energy. “But I need to know that I am part of your life, the team needs to know about your whole family, babe. Not just Henry, Luce and Jonah too.”

She was letting the tears stream down her cheeks, listening to your conditions and nodding. She was agreeing! “They will, I can’t keep hiding my two worlds from each other. It has been so exhausting,” JJ exhaled, clearing her throat. “God, Y/N, I have missed you!” And she was kissing you, right there in the shade at the park. The salt from both your raw hearts flavored your needy mouths. Her soft pink lips pecking and nibbling yours.

“Eh, Gross!” An approaching voice called to you. You broke apart, self consciously, people were still not very gracious with women kissing in public. But it was just Jonah, being a nine year old boy, “Geez, Mama, save that for later!” His toothy grin flashed and he was off again, chasing Henry up a slide.

Five weeks later:

“Spencer,” You interrupted, “My publishing house covers some of the best Whovian novelizations on the market. Of course, I know who the Silurians are.”

The doctors’ brown eyes popped as Garcia cut in, “Seriously, Reid, don’t push her, she will surprise you!” Everybody laughed. JJ had her hand on your thigh below the table, the BAU finally meeting the mystery love that JJ had been hiding for so long.

“Guys, “ JJ stood, raising her glass, “I just wanted to thank you all for being so understanding with Y/N and I. I know I think I can keep things from you, but why bother anymore, right?”

“Here, here!” Morgan trumpeted.

“To the best team, an FBI agent could ask for, “JJ toasted, “ And most importantly: the strongest partner a woman could dream of!” She said as she turned and looked at your sparkling eyes. You stood and kissed her fiercely, finally a part of all that was important to her. The team cat called and whistled, but you didn’t hear a thing.

@ssajenniferjareau @criminalwriting @cherry-loves-fanfic   @imagicana@wrecklessimagine @criminalmindsmanic @emilyfuckingprentiss @milkandcookies528

[reactingtosomething]

Reacting to Captain America: Civil War (Part 3 of 3)

He Reminds Me of a Chicken Pox. If I’m In Trouble PLEASE Do Not Call Him.

The Setup: Here’s Part 1 of Marchae and Clint’s Civil War reaction, and here’s Part 2.

Notes from Kris and Miri in italics.

MARCHAE: Ok can I tell you what I liked

CLINT: Sure I liked everything

MARCHAE: NO NO NO first tell me what you liked 

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL 

I would not go that far...  but I did LOVE Madam Hot Sauce!! She is a really strong female character (physically) and that makes me happy... 

CLINT: It was a good continuation of the cap story

Black panther

Spidey

Obviously, cap

Hawkeye

Yes Madame hot sauce

MARCHAE: Hawkeye is a male Katniss Everdeen 

He is not on my list... our lists do not match except for Madam Hot Sauce

CLINT: Visions density shifting

His name is Clint

MARCHAE: SPIDEY is so far not on my list he isn't even on my non existent kid's kid's kid's list

CLINT: [Hawkeye] grew up in the circus

MARCHAE: SHIT! SERIOUSLY!! 

CLINT: Hurtful

MARCHAE: you want me to get back on the things I DON"T LIKE

But really… A CIRCUS 

ok i am going to tell you the things I LIKED 

CLINT: That's his comic history. But continue

MARCHAE: it should not be

CLINT: It works

KRIS: It does! 

I don’t think it’s supposed to be Clint Barton’s backstory in the movies, though. For whatever it’s worth, the Ultimates version of Clint (whom movie-Clint was more directly inspired by, at least early on) was an Olympic archer who became a special ops soldier. We do know that movie-Clint was with SHIELD long before Natasha, and that when he was assigned to kill her (she was with the KGB at the time), he turned her instead.

MARCHAE: I really do like the core of the story like when you take out all the things I didn't like about it the root message of friends til the end is a good one

CLINT: And him and hot sauce are bffs

K: The movie does shortchange this. And I would’ve liked to see even more work with Steve and Natasha’s friendship.

MARCHAE: also...why. I also really liked the action scenes 

CLINT: So Friends makes it worse

MARCHAE: No!  

in fact my note was "I think if they don't talk and it was just action with no words ALWAYS... I could get all the way down" ��that's kind of a backhanded compliment but i REALLY REALLY REALLY like action movies a lot

K: I don’t think I knew this

MIRI: I definitely did not

CLINT: So less story more action

MARCHAE: so it is a testament to the fact that they were some amazing action scenes.

CLINT: So you'd like a Michael​ Bay avengers

MARCHAE: We can talk about my issues with story later (and it was mostly just wonky time things)

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

K: I’m learning so much about Marchae

CLINT: No

MARCHAE: I mean I do love to see the people fight and the things get blown up

CLINT: Watch Man of steel you'll see why that's bad

MARCHAE: guess I will and I bet it will be GOOD!

CLINT: No

MARCHAE: well it's also superman...

ok things I like Mr. Madam Hot Sauce (I know she's your crush)

CLINT: #notmysuperman

MARCHAE: LOL

CLINT: Scarjo is the best

MARCHAE: I did like the Black Panther Reveal ( I think by this point in my notes I got their names somewhat together because they are all written-- I am going to take pictures of my notes and put them in the post) I loved the spotty accent the Olsen Sister

CLINT: She was regionally vague

MARCHAE: it was regionally hilarious because it was only on words that had weird 'R' sounds

LOL. it provided comedic relief

I actually really liked the toddler robot he may have been my favorite

CLINT: I don't know if it was funny but ok

MARCHAE: it was

CLINT: Really him

K: Now I legitimately think Marchae should go back and watch Avengers: Age of Ultron for Vision stuff.

MARCHAE: YUP and Madam Hot Sauce... I may be her if I ever decide to celebrate Halloween

K now hear me cause this is going to be mean

CLINT: Comic con

Cos play

MARCHAE: but I really really liked the individual's subplot story lines... they were well defined but the total stories as a collective not so much  so if each character had a break out session of sorts i could do it...

AND I WOULD HAVE COS PLAYED THIS YEAR BUT YOU STOOD ME UP!!!

CLINT: That's what the whole movie was

MARCHAE: no...

CLINT: Unrelated (re:Cosplay)

MARCHAE: (no that last bit is truth)

ok The fight scene with Bucky was also great and the tag team girl fight scene was also pretty amazing

CLINT: Which Bucky fight the one on the stairs or when he was cray. Or both

MARCHAE: Both actually were really good

I also like that it is a woman who calls Iron Man on his crap and tells him to watch his back

CLINT: The stairs is my fav next to the one at the end

The kids mom

MARCHAE: I also really did forget how awesome iron mans suit was  and I appreciated Stan Lee's cameo

those were all the things I liked

CLINT: It it's cool but he has no powers

MARCHAE: who? Iron Man

CLINT: Yep

MARCHAE: Are you kidding me right now?

LIKE ONLY TWO OF THEM DO ANYWAY!!!!

MIRI: Spiderman has powers. Just saying

CLINT: Iron Man has no powers he's just rich and smart

MARCHAE: like none of them have powers is my point I think that this wasn't a bad movie I just would rather more put together polished heroes

CLINT: Vision, Wanda, cap and Spidey

MARCHAE: if you say that things name one more time i swear  Ok can we please talk about spider man just for a moment and I will try to be rational

CLINT: They didn't need back story at this point We're like 12 movies in

MARCHAE: (also thats not a lot of people to depend on--but we are rehashing earlier conversation if we keep revising that point)  

CLINT: Spidey was awesome

MARCHAE: Here is my thing I don't like Spider Man ... not one bit nope

CLINT: Why

MARCHAE: in fact... my actual honest to god note says... "He reminds me of a chicken pox. 

K: I’m... not sure what this means?

he is always jokes on jokes on jokes. If I'm in trouble PLEASE do not call him. Is this THE BEST that Tony can do! He has the ENTIRE MARVEL UNIVERSE AT HIS DISPOSAL”

I've never liked spiderman . he is kind of whiney and it is really annoying when you're depending on people to save your life. I think from that point forward the movie kind of turns into a farce

CLINT: He is a kid and it's how he deals with the stress

Wow

MARCHAE: He needs to grow the heck up

See this is what I mean  

WHY

CLINT: He's in high school

MARCHAE: and the reason it turns into a farce

is because then ANT MAN WHO TURNS INTO A GIANT also JOINS US

CLINT: Tony used a child soldier. Let that sink in

MARCHAE: SANK. I mean there is an entire universe and that man was like let me go and get this MAN CHILD who makes JOKES to help out?

CLINT: Which is why you don't register

MARCHAE: and also the fact that Ant Man referred to them as SUPER HEROES. Which is why we need a manual  

rule number 1A: STOP MAKING JOKES AINT CRAP FUNNY...PEOPLE ARE DYING

K: Wait, maybe Marchae really will like Zack Snyder’s DC movies

CLINT: Ant Man was cool he had his own movie

MARCHAE: Sweet grief

I did like the ant woman/Madam Hot Sauce Fight!

CLINT: And if you let that get to you too much you're done

She kicked him in the gonads

MARCHAE: I feel like That trio: Ant, Spider and Iron Man act way to casual for me

she did and it was great!

Ant Man was the worst... A giant Tiny Man

CLINT: You need them though so it's not super dark. Giant Man was dope

MARCHAE: *eye roll*

CLINT: I'm at that part now. I'm watching it again

MARCHAE: You're watching it AGAIN! LOL

CLINT: Just cause

MARCHAE: YESS!!!

okay so did you have any specific questions for me?  (I mean I have lots for you but I feel like I can easily wikipedia them and spare the interwebs my ignorance)

CLINT: You can ask away, but how did you feel about the reveal at the end with Buck and Tony

MARCHAE: OH I actually really liked that and was shocked!!!  that was pretty cool

K: This is interesting. As a longtime MCU fan who saw it coming from the teaser (and I don't think the movie was necessarily trying to hide it), I still thought it worked on a dramatic level, partly since it involved a betrayal from Steve as well, in his lie of omission.

CLINT: All that destruction to break up the crew

MARCHAE: and it nearly worked...

CLINT: It did

MARCHAE: I think I even noted that it was sad that Captain America felt so alone in the world and that they were literally destroying each other... that was kind of sad ...and great character/story development

CLINT: Man out of time

Defend my friend or jump on board with something to keep his new friends. I was shocked I thought he was hoping to use the soldiers.  

But nope I'm here to let you know buddy killed your parents 

Have fun 

Also Tony's phone

MARCHAE: The phone?  what did I miss 

CLINT: It's just cool

MARCHAE: LOLOL 

CLINT: And projects holograms. I'd want it

MARCHAE: They have those out now! (just kidding)

CLINT: I would own it

MARCHAE: K I don't think I have anything else really of note necessarily

CLINT: See the funny thing is at the end they were close to all being friends again but that was part of the plan

Great ending

MARCHAE: OH NO i didn't mean to cut you off

CLINT: Oh it's cool

MARCHAE: Yeah ... but i feel like it will never be the same with them again 

CLINT: It won't be and that was the plan

MARCHAE: (not that i know a ton about how it used to be with them I mean I saw avengers 1... but still they seemed to all get along)  to turn them against each other and have them all going rogue perfect plan! sounds like gravy to me! 

CLINT: Yep in zemos eyes the avengers killed his family 

he knew he couldn't beat them so he decided to break them 

You can't overlook your friend knowing his homie killed your mom 

Then just be cool

MARCHAE: It is a very intricate story that's for sure

CLINT: But well done

MARCHAE: *offers tight smile*

CLINT: Lol

MARCHAE: We all like different movies  

CLINT: What would you score it

MARCHAE: I feel like it's a trick question because it's like the score BS and the score AS

CLINT: (I'm lost) wait spider Man

MARCHAE: YUP

CLINT: Oh wow such shade

MARCHAE: So BS  it yielded a solid 7.5

AS it went down to probably a 5... I really don't like him and it did get a little silly to me when he arrived on the scene

MIRI: OH MY GOD MARCHAE

CLINT: Then after

MARCHAE: also I need to shout out Marisa Tomei.

K: This did kind of make me want to watch Only You, an early-90s rom-com Tomei and Downey star in. But having seen the trailer, I’m not sure Downey’s character will have aged well.

After what

CLINT: After no more Spidey

MARCHAE: Oh it'd go back up to a 7.5

CLINT: 9.5

MARCHAE: on that note LOL 

CLINT: Lol

MARCHAE: well hey it's been a freaking DELIGHT to do this with you!!! I had fun watching and talking to you about Captain America Civil War

CLINT: 11ty. Hundred! It was a good time

MARCHAE: 11ty hundred is not a movie rating LOL 

CLINT: For this one it is

MARCHAE: I adore you 

Let's try and see LOGAN!

CLINT: I say bvs or we can do both

MARCHAE: what is BVS?  bible vacation school? 

CLINT: Or if you're up for torture will Smith and suicide squad. Batman vs Superman

MIRI: Marchae, don’t watch Suicide Squad. Two bad Will Smith movies in a year might destroy you. He’s good, but the movie is a disaster.

MARCHAE: Lets aim for BVS and Logan! we officially have plans! 

Thanks again for doing this brother 

CLINT: No prob sister

Thanks very much to Clint for being our first Guest Reactor! We hope he has time to join us again further down the line. I mean hopefully it won’t come down to the end of the line. Which is a reference Marchae would understand IF SHE’D WATCHED THE WINTER SOLDIER.

Anyway. No promises, but maybe a Spider-Man: Homecoming reaction is in the cards, though if we want Marchae to watch it we’re going to owe her two or three Reactions to things she chooses. Watch this space. In the meantime, you can follow us on Twitter.

[ash818]

Anon asked:

Love hearing stuff from Tish's POV & despite how greedy it is there's (at least) three scenes I'd love to see from her POV if you ever got round to them: when Jon woke up after she & he had been held by Risdon and she'd found out he was the Arrow; the night of the riots when she first thought of kissing him(per previous drabble from her Pov); when he came to see her in the hospital after her poisoning.

Here is the second of those scenes, set during chapter ten of The Man Under the Hood.

“Hey, have you seen Jonny?”

“Not for an hour at least.”

Abby glances around the room fretfully, and her knuckles whiten on the doorframe.

Tish sits up, frowning at her. “I promise he’s not hiding in the closet.”

“Right.” Abby shakes her head, shifting anxiously from foot to foot. “Sorry, I’ve just run out of places he could be, and he’s not answering his phone.”

Mayor-Elect Queen has already been summoned to the protest lines, and the news alerts popping up on Tish’s phone have progressed from Unrest at Bioethics Conference to Duwamish Blocked Off and finally to Fires Set in Nuxalk Corridor. She is fairly certain she knows where Jon has gone, but she offers up a perfectly reasonable alternative: “Perhaps he just needed a little time to himself.”

“Then he should have told someone,” Abby grumbles, pulling her phone from her pocket for a quick check. “This is not a good time to disappear. I promise you, if Uncle Roy were here, he’d be pissed.”

Tish hardly knew the man, but his name gives her a twinge anyway. You can’t spend days with a family, immersed in their grief, and not feel some of it yourself.

The afternoon she first sat down in Roy Harper’s office at Panoptic, he wore a stylish side part, a reassuring smile, and the grace of a man very much at ease in his good suit. You’d never guess that the Glades raised him, or that he didn’t learn to knot a tie properly until his thirties.

“Mr. Harper,” she said, “I didn’t feel unsafe until men with earpieces started following me around everywhere.”

He came around his desk to lean against the front of it. “Look, chances are nothing happens. I’ve read a lot of hate mail, and what your dad’s been getting? Ten to one it’s all bullshit.” The word sounded strange coming from just above that beautiful necktie. Apparently the Glades still shone through sometimes.

“So I should only be a little bit worried.”

He shook his head. “Nah. We’re going to do the worrying.” Then he smiled at her, and oh, he might have been a married man thirty years her senior, but that smile could give anyone a little flutter. “We’re not going to let anything happen to you, Miss Cuvier.”

When Jon told her, with a shoddy attempt at secrecy and discretion, that some of his “colleagues” would be watching over her while she met with a mob captain, she was grateful that one of them would be Mr. Harper.

They buried him this morning. For a data library full of bleeding edge medical research, the Black Hand was willing to torture and murder. Papa was willing to let her die. And Roy Harper stood up straight and took a bullet through the neck.

Tish is in so far over her head, she doesn’t even know which way to kick for the surface. She is in a house full of strange and extraordinary people with more money than God, more tragic backstory than a Bronte novel, and far more hugging than she is accustomed to. They discuss painful, wrenching family matters in front of her, and they scoff every time she offers them their privacy. In their home she feels snug and safe in the depths of an exotic foreign country, comfortable and uncomfortable by turns.

Now Jonathan has disappeared, while somewhere out there in the dark, a sociopath is running loose, and he knows the Arrow’s name.

One problem at a time.

Tish and Abby make another pass through the house, which is littered with empty glasses and leftover trays from the funeral reception. They find Mrs. Queen at the kitchen table, talking very quietly to her sister-in-law, who hardly seems to register a word.

Mrs. Queen frowns at Abby. “He wasn’t upstairs?” Her frown deepens at the answering head shake.

Thea Queen leans her elbows on the table and rubs her temples. Weariness is the first human emotion Tish has seen her express all day, aside from anger. A missing nephew is one more complication than she is equipped to handle tonight.

Mrs. Queen presses her lips together, and she gives her ponytail an irritable little toss. “Baby gates. I swear, we’re going to go back to leashes and baby gates.” She lays her hand over Thea’s - they all touch each other so casually - and says, “I’m sorry to run out on you, but - “

“Go,” Thea says, waving her off. “Go on.”

Mrs. Queen gathers her coat and purse, hugs her daughter, and heads for the door.

After it closes behind her, Abby sinks into her vacated chair and casts an anxious, sideways glance at her aunt. “We’re assuming he snuck out,” she says, hunching her shoulders and hugging herself.  “Remember that time Mom disappeared out of our backyard while three hundred people and a whole team of bodyguards were here?”

Thea reaches out and squeezes Abby’s shoulder. “He snuck out, baby. It’s all right.”

Tish starts gathering plates, and Thea and Abby only surface from their separate reveries at the sound of running water. “Don’t wash dishes,” they tell her, but what else is there to do? Stare into space or compulsively refresh the newsfeed.

Fifteen minutes later, a text burbles up on Abby’s phone.

“Found him,” she reads aloud. “He decided to pick up an evening shift.”

“So he’s fine,” Thea says wearily. “Taking care of business.”

Abby turns to her in startled indignation. “His arm was in a sling this morning.”

“If he’d asked my permission, I wouldn’t have given him the go-ahead.” Thea heaves a sigh and slumps lower in her wheelchair. “But he didn’t.”

Tish has already made bets with herself as to which of Jon’s various mentors wore the hood before him, and she revises the odds on Roy Harper drastically upwards. To his wife, these are old, familiar fears.

Not so for Abby. “He just took off,” she fumes. “Didn’t bother to tell anyone where.”

Eyes closed, Thea nods. “Yeah, hooding up with no one on Watchtower is a dumb risk.”

Surprise flickers in Abby’s face; clearly she hadn’t thought of the extra risk. She turns a shade paler and says, “It’s just, I thought the top secret classified confidential sneaking around was over.”

With the city on fire, she’s angry about being excluded. Sweet as she is, the girl is fifteen and very much the baby of her family.

“He’s got backup now, and there’s nothing we can do to help from here,” Thea says, forcing herself a little more upright and gripping the handrims of her wheelchair. “I’m going to bed. Wake me up if something happens.”

“We’ll let you know,” Tish says quietly. She does not have Thea’s nerves of steel, and she knows better than to believe there is any chance of sleep tonight.

Thea spins on the spot and heads for the doorway, where she pauses and glances over her shoulder. “Scratch that. Wake me up if you need me.”

Tish takes one more look at her drawn face and defeated posture, and she resolves only to wake her in the event of disaster, death, or dismemberment.

At the last second, Abby hurries to catch up and hug her aunt. Tish hears a muffled murmur.

“Love you too, junebug,” says Thea, and kisses her head. “Thanks for everything you did today.”

When she’s gone, Abby gives Tish an embarrassed little shrug and says, “I didn’t really do anything.”

Yes, she did. Tish watched her do it all day, hovering near whichever family member needed her most. It was not always the person whom Tish judged closest to crying. In fact, most often it was stoic Mr. Queen whose arm Abby linked hers through at the funeral or whose shoulder she headbutted at the reception.

Abby projects the evening news on the kitchen wall, and Tish puts the kettle on. If they plan to hold a vigil, they’ll need tea.

The helicopter cam pans over a burning police car, trash cans blazing in the streets, and shattered glass glittering in the reddish light. Chanting devolves to shouting then somehow resolves to chanting again. Reporters stand in front of destruction, describe the obvious, and portentously enumerate the things “we do not know at this time.”

No one set a single fire until they found out about Papa. Tish turns away and starts hunting for Earl Grey.

“Dad’s somewhere out there,” Abby says, eyes peeled for him. “I don’t know what he thinks he’s going to do in that crowd. Who could even hear him?”

The kettle whistles. Just as Tish takes it off the heat, the news anchor fills the screen with solemn urgency. “Breaking news. Just a few moments ago, an unknown gunman opened fire on City Hall. Three shots were fired, and Mayor Lee has sustained at least one gunshot wound. He is currently being rushed to medical help. The severity of his condition is unclear at this time, but - ”

“They’re shooting mayors now?” Abby sucks in a deep breath. “That’s on the table?”

They will shoot at teenage girls, or they will break their arms to make their fathers talk. They will pay each other in people, and they will kill for secrets pried out of tortured bodies. Everyone you know wears a mask, and sometimes when they take it off, they only become more strange to you.

Everything is on the table.

Onscreen, the anchors exchange worried platitudes, and the crawl at the bottom of the screen announces street closures. “We have word from the convention center that this news is being badly received by the gathered protesters. We are hoping to get some clarification on - ”

Then, a sudden cut to -

“ - and I’m not going anywhere.”

It’s a familiar voice, booming across Duwamish Square from a source Tish can’t pin down. The GNN camera drone swoops across the convention center and zooms in on the Arrow, who casts an imposing silhouette on the concrete facade behind him. He is lit up bright and larger than life, and his face is half shadow.

“When this is over, the conference speakers and half of these protesters are going home. Those of us who have to stay and pick up the pieces - what kind of city do you want?”

Tish’s brain stalls out momentarily. “What is he…”

“Talking the crowd down from something stupid,” Abby supplies.

He has no real power here, Tish does not say. All they have to do is ignore him.

But they don’t. He makes a surprisingly punchy speech, and with thirty years of history giving his words weight… Starling listens. And then, with a parting one-liner in which Tish recognizes Jon Queen for a moment, the Arrow disappears again.

Abby seems totally unsurprised that he pulled it off, but the news anchors are, by the standards of a stoic profession, absolutely over the moon.

“The Arrow hasn’t addressed the city like this in over thirty years,” they say, and old footage flares to life onscreen. The man standing atop the car in the wreckage of the Nuxalk corridor, yelling across the crowd, looks like he could be Jon, brought there by a time machine.

But it isn’t over.

Brawls have broken out in the streets, and masked vigilantes are out in force. Abby cheers at a glimpse of the Canary, and a cameraman onsite audibly gasps when he catches a few frames of the Batman.

The original Batman was active long before Tish was born, and his successor only appeared in her senior year of high school. Gotham was abuzz with the news, and Papa, who liked to hold forth at the dinner table, vocally disapproved. After the fourth or fifth boring tirade on the subject, Tish developed a vague affection for the Batman out of silent spite.

Now she listens to the reports of him breaking up street fights, and she feels a surge of pride.

GNN locates the Arrow again quickly, and they cut to a drone feed in the Central Business District, where an office building is burning. Fire hoses sweep the ravaged top floors above the flashing lights and sirens and ladders. “A pipe bomb was detonated on the fifteenth floor,” says the anchor. “And a moment ago, the Arrow was spotted touching down on the roof.”

“I don’t see him,” Abby says anxiously.

“There.”

He rappels down from the roof, quick and confident, and on the third floor from the top he shoves powerfully off the wall and then cannonballs feet-first into a window. Cracks shoot through it to the frame. He shoves off again, and this time - smash. He tumbles into the smoke and disappears.

“The vigilante has entered the building!” the reporter repeats several times, and they replay the footage in fuzzy closeup. “The Arrow is inside!”

Tish only realizes she’s holding her breath when Abby releases hers.

“Did he just break into a burning building?” Abby whispers in abject horror.

“It’ll be all right,” Tish says, wrapping an arm around her again. “You saw how he climbed in, like he’s practiced a hundred times. He knows what he’s doing.”

“What he’s doing is stupid!”

On the right-hand side of the building, a dark shape swings down from above and clings to the ornate facade. The Batman looks shadowy and dramatic by the light of a burning office building, and he skitters a few meters sideways as easy as walking on flat ground. He finds a window already busted in by the initial explosion, and he slips inside.

“There,” Tish says, with forced optimism. “Jon’s got backup.”

Abby only shrinks deeper into herself. She cannot have failed to notice that the Bat and Terry McGinnis showed up in town at the same time, or that one is watching the Arrow’s back as closely as the other watches Jon’s. It feels like bad manners to discuss it out loud, so Tish only squeezes Abby tighter.

“I can’t see them,” Abby says.

“Give them a moment.”

Abby takes a deep, purposeful breath, and for a few seconds she manages to keep still. The onsite reporter provides useless, repetitive narration while they watch and wait.

And wait.

When the suspense starts to fray her nerves, Tish closes her eyes and asks for a little courage. Lord, you are my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. Watch over them and -

“They should have come out by now,” Abby says, and she writhes out of Tish’s grip as if she cannot stand the inside of her own skin.

“I have no idea how long these things are supposed to take. Just give them time.”

An almighty crash sends dust and flames blooming from the windows, up at the rightmost corner of the building. Metal shrieks, bricks crumble from the facade.

Tish jumps in her seat, and a horrible nauseous flutter goes through her whole body. Next to her, Abby sucks in a high-pitched gasp that sounds almost painful.

The reporter onsite startles too, then puts his fingers to his ear. “The fourteenth floor has partially collapsed.” He pauses, listens. Continues: “It has already been cleared. I repeat, the collapsed floor was cleared. No evacuees or first responders remain on that level.”

But Abby doesn’t seem to hear him. She has frozen like a prey animal, white and wide-eyed. Tish has seen her this way once before, and she tries to stop the anxiety attack before it can escalate.

“No one was on that floor,” she says, putting her arm around Abby again and holding her firmly. “Jon wasn’t on that floor.” She isn’t certain that’s true, because it’s unlikely the fire department can precisely track the Batman or the Arrow’s whereabouts. But there was no reason for them to be on that floor if no one else was. “It’s all right.” Breathe in, breathe out. Big and dramatic enough for Abby to feel it and fall into rhythm. “It’s all right, he knows what he’s doing.”

“I hate this,” Abby whispers after a few moments, and if she can talk, Tish counts that as success. “I really hate this.”

Tish reaches for the remote. “We don’t have to watch.”

Abby twists around to look her in the eyes. “It’s Jonny.”

So it is.

Twelve days ago, he and Tish nearly died together. For the rest of her life, however she may feel about him, she will never be indifferent to Jonathan Queen. She can’t look away any more than Abby can.

It is probably all right to say this out loud: “Lord, please watch over them and keep them from harm.”

Abby turns to her in surprise, but then she nods, leans into Tish’ side, and says, “And maybe send us some chill, if you’ve got extra.”

Twenty seconds grind by like twenty minutes. Finally, the reporter announces, “The vigilantes have just exited the building on the south side! They have a survivor with them.”

Coverage flips to a drone cam swinging around the corner, and through the smoke a green hood and a black cowl come into view down on the sidewalk. The Batman and the Arrow are each supporting one end of a makeshift stretcher. The woman strapped to it is holding tightly to the Arrow’s wrist.

Abby’s breath leaves her all in a rush, and the first thing she says is, “Is that a coffee table they put her on?”

Faintly, Tish nods. “I think so. With the legs snapped off.”

First responders rush to take the coffee table off the vigilantes’ hands, and on the sofa the girls relax against each other.

Then the Batman and the Arrow turn right back around and run into the smoke.

Abby lets out a disbelieving noise.

“Oh,” Tish says quietly.

“Damn it, Jonny.”

It’s a very long night.

For hours they track the news coverage, straining for a glimpse or a mention of anyone they know. Six times over, they watch the same clip of the Black Canary ending a street brawl with two swipes of her staff. They watch shaky cell phone footage of the Batman scaling a fire escape to fall on a cornered cop before he can pull his gun, and the surrounding masked men scatter.

“That’s right,” Tish says with a smile. “Give them a little Gotham.”

Mr. Queen appears periodically, often standing outside one of SCPD’s mobile units, deep in conference with Detective Hall. A few times, he gives a terse update to the cameras. Yes, this fire has been doused. No, we have no further information on Mayor Lee’s condition. Please, for your safety, we ask that you avoid the following streets.

He does not have the flashy presence of the Arrow, standing on high with hundreds of watts of spotlight making him larger than life. But he commands attention as though it were his due, and he gives orders in the comfortable expectation that they will be obeyed. Tish wonders if he learned that in a board room.

It would be impolite to ask Abby where else he might have learned it, especially if she has no such suspicions herself.

They go through two pots of tea and one of coffee, and they watch the flames burn themselves out. An hour after the city has fallen quiet, both girls are still too wired and wrung out to sleep.

Besides, they’re waiting on someone.

At sunup, Jon eases through the back door, moving stiffly and holding his injured arm close to his body.

Tish has been watching him all night, and that feels strange. All she wants now is to mother him, and that is strange too. She wants to sit him down, administer bruise cream, and feed him soup and ibuprofen. He looks like one good hug would turn him to complete marshmallow - perhaps the kind of hug he gave her the night Risdon came to Papa’s house, right after she watched enviously as Abby walked into Mr. Queen’s arms. She isn’t sure she has the right, and besides, someone else has precedence. She looks to Abby.

Who promptly snaps, “Don’t ever do that again.”

Jon tips his head back, and his hooded eyes would look insolent if you didn’t know how many consecutive hours he’d been awake. “Do what?”

“Disappear.”

Tish presses her lips together while Abby fusses at him. Had anyone else greeted him with a lecture, they would have been getting off easy with a sarcastic dismissal. But for Abby he stands there and takes it. In fact, he takes it very much to heart.

Funny how everything he says sounds more sincere when he’s saying it to her.

Finally, curt with exhaustion, Abby says good night and goes upstairs. She leaves her dirty dishes on the counter, as her brother and her aunt often do. Mr. and Mrs. Queen will be annoyed if they come home to sticky plates and mugs. Automatically Tish gathers them up.

“Hey, um.” Jon gives one last guilty glance to the doorway she disappeared through. “How bad?”

It’s difficult to explain how intensely Abby seems to feel everything - as if her nerves have been stripped bare, and there is no layer of protection between herself and the world. It is not Jon’s fault, and Tish doesn’t want him looking so miserable over it. Gently, she says, “She was pretty upset.”

“Like, piano lid upset?”

She is tempted to lie, but finds that she can’t when he is looking directly at her. “I was worried for a minute, but no.”

He collapses onto a stool at the kitchen counter. “God damn it.”

There is only one thing to do now, which is the same thing Mama used to do when someone was at her kitchen table in need of comfort. This will require a whisk, a saucepan, and the high quality milk and cream in the fridge. The rest depends on whatever is hiding in the spice cabinet.

Tish pulls down vanilla and honey, and with her back to Jon, she says, “We watched you on the news.” Then, because someone ought to tell him: “You did some really incredible things last night, you know that?”

He only grunts in reply. Then he deflates, his head falls onto his arms, and he makes more discontented noises while she searches for whole nutmeg and a little grinder.

The ritual of lait chaud a la cannelle is soothing in itself, and by the time Tish has frothed up two mugs of it, she is feeling warm and a little drowsy. She sets one down next to him. “Here.”

He gives her a look. “Stop being nice to me.”

It is what she has been feeling since the night the Queens took her in. She still cannot fathom why they have decided to make her safety their responsibility, and every day she wants to tell them, Thank you, but that’s enough. Don’t pour on more kindness I’ll never be able to repay.

So she answers Jon just as they have, with the same heedless good humor. “Nope.” And she dares to pet him a little bit, the way his mother or his sister or his aunt probably would, if any of them were here.

He sighs deeply, his shoulders unknit, and he drinks what she made for him. It’s an odd thing to take pride in, but she does.

Then, almost casually, he leans his head against her arm. She blinks in surprise and holds perfectly still, as if a wild bird were eating from her palm. His cheek is cool against her upper arm, and she can feel his breath on her skin.

It would be easy to lean down and kiss him, if she wanted to.

Before another thought can follow that one, she whispers, “Go get some sleep.”

Wordlessly he heads upstairs, and she clears away the dishes.