#her orphan suit here just works better for her especially since Bruce sees himself in her plus it just looks cool

[gothamite-rambler]

Previously on Cass and Jason becoming friends (this is my headcanon for my fanfiction you don't have to agree but don't be a gatekeeper) Enjoy !

---3 weeks later--- Bruce Wayne (talking to himself): He needs more bat friends and I need to get updates on his life. The boys won't work, Stephanie? No. Cassandra Cain, walks up to Bruce and taps him on the shoulder. He turns around. Cass (waving): Hi Bruce. Bruce: Hello Cassandra ... Cass! You'll work! Cass: Work for what?

Bruce: You remember meeting my son? Really tall, kind of around my height, white streak in the middle of his hair, you said hi to him, he questioned why I kidnapped you... when I didn't kidnap you? Cass: Oh Jason. Yeah, he's withdrawn from others, but we've chatted a few times. His eyes showed sadness when we first met, but in one of our meetups his jaw was less clenched and he only called me a weirdo. Then one time I told him he could stab me to discuss why killing those he personally sees as irredeemable can be flawed. Bruce: Okay that's good- You what?!

Cass: Don't worry, he never did it.

Bruce: Yes, but why- I'll discuss this later, I need you to do something with him for me.

Cass: You want me to befriend him?

Bruce: No I- Oh yes I want you to do that, but genuinely. I think you two would work... As... Friends. I'm not good at friends, but Clark sees us as 'best buddies'. Don't be annoyingly chipper. Cass: Like Clark? Bruce nodded Cass (shrugs): I would actually like to become friends with Jason. He's been through a lot and I want to show him the kindness that was deprived from him for a long time by certain people. You don't have to concoct a plan, I'll simply continue being my usual self. Bruce crosses his arms satisfied, but then realizes something. Bruce: Wait, I gave him kindness! I pay him 5000 a month! Cass: Which is your way to show love, no worries Bruce, you're a good father in your own way. Cass leaves Bruce's house to meet with Jason, texting him from the number she was able to get from Barbara.

---Later the same day---

Cass in civilian clothes walks over to Jason as he's texting on his phone.

Cass: Hi Jason. Jason looks away from his phone, checking his right side to see the short black haired girl not behind him, but on his left side. Jason: You switched places. Hi Cass, what did you call me for? Cass: Bruce wanted us to meet up. He thinks we'd make good friends. Want to get frozen yogurt? My treat.  Jason: In any other situation I'd say no, but I did say I tolerate you the most which means yes I'll go. Cass (smiling sweetly): Aww that's good to hear.  Let's go, I know this place called Pink Berry. Steph took me there once. You can get strange toppings. What's your favorite flavor? Jason and Cass walk. Jason thinks about what to say. Jason: Mint chocolate or strawberry. Cass (bumping her arm against Jason's): You can mix the flavors there. Jason: Cool.

Cass giggles.

Jason (smirking): That wasn't a pun. Cass: Are you sure, pun-isher? Jason (jokingly): You're ridiculous.

---At PinkBerry---

At PinkBerry Jason got as he said he liked Strawberry and Mint Chocolate. Cass got French Vanilla with cookie toppings. Cass: Bruce wanted me to check your welfare as well. Mind if I ask a couple questions?

Jason: Not at all. Cass pulls out a notepad that Jason recognizes is Bruce's and he chuckles. Cass: Mental health? Jason: Not as bad as before. Don't cuss out people on the road anymore. Cass: Have you made friends? Jason: Yes. Cass: Number? Jason: 3 currently. Cass: You have a partner? Jason: Had partners. Cass: For that option he wrote, ask how many and if he's been safe? Jason: Not disclosing the number. Yes, I've been using protection... in the rare times I actually sleep with a woman.

Cass (giggled): Dating life is never easy.

Jason (jokingly): Is that on the notepad?

Cass: Nah, simply sharing empathy with you. The next question is "Are you physically healthy?" Jason: Yes. Cass: What do you use the money he sends you for? Jason: 30% percent I save, the 70 % none of his business. Cass: Hm... the next one is 'Is he mad at me?' Are you? Jason: Not as much, but I don't like being around him most times.  Cass: Noted. Under that he lists with a question mark near their names: Tim? Dick? Damian? Jason: Care for all of them. Stephanie is growing on me. Cass (with a smile): And me? Jason: I tolerate.  Cass: And? Jason: Wow, you really are like him. I will say I care about you a little bit. Cass: I'm glad. He wrote a lot more, but I'll conclude with this: Are you doing better than you were years ago? Jason (after thinking about the right answer): Yes. Cass: Good. Let's eat. Cass and Jason eat their frozen yogurt enjoying their time together. ---2 months later--- Cass: Hi Jason. Jason: Hey Ca- Oh My God that’s an awesome suit! Cass looks over her black bat suit and claps eagerly.

Cass: Thank you, it is Batman inspired. Is it okay to mention that?

Jason (nods): You make it work.  Cass: Hm… And you... Jason: What do you notice about me this time? Cass: You look content. How have you been? Jason: How have I been? How have you been? Tell me what’s going on with Cassandra. Cass: Oh, I- A lot if you’re willing to listen. Jason: I’m free now. Cass: As am I. You genuinely do look happy. Jason (smiling): I am, you seem to be happy too. One question though, how do you breathe in that suit and not break a sweat? Cass (taking a power pose): Sheer determination and being a bad ass. Jason: Oh facts, that's why I wear my helmet. 

Cass: I don't talk much either, mostly sign language.

Cass signs Jason's name to display her skill.

Jason: That's pretty good. I like that answer too, that way no one knows what you sound like.

Cass (smiling): Aww thank you.

Jason: Don't make that expression, they're going to think you're weak.

Cass: Yeah, but then I break their legs.

Jason chuckles making Cass elated that she made him laugh. Two weeks later: Nightwing: Is everyone here? Where’s Orphan? Cass: I’m here. Dick Grayson jumps, jumping into Jason’s arms. Cass: I arrived a few minutes ago, got distracted, back again. Hi Jason. Jason drops Dick Grayson. Jason: Hi Cass it’s good to see you, I didn’t say hi to you earlier. So I’m saying it now. Cass: Thank you. It's good to see you. Tim (crosses his arms): He’s not that nice to me. Cass: Oh Jason, can we do that hand hug we practiced? Jason: For you, just once. Cass claps eagerly. The two clasp their hands together and give them a little squeeze. Cass: Now you have my positive energy! Jason: No take it away. Jason and Cass laugh as their siblings look on confused. After the mission ends. Cass: I’m off, bye Jason. Jason: Bye Cass. Cass runs off with Tim following behind. Nightwing: That was the nicest I’ve seen you be to a bat kid. Jason: Yeah, she’s neat. Nightwing: Oh wow, she's neat? You actually like her. That's sweet. How long did it take her? Jason: About a year and a half. Nightwing: That's a record. Did you know she's older than you? Jason: Really? Nightwing: Yup, a few months, but she’s strange at times. Bruce likes her, says she’s a mini him. Jason: Huh… that’s not true. I like her, she’s been through way more than him and she smiles more. Although I died, which means I have more struggles, she's close though. Nightwing laughs, patting Jason on the back and heading out of the area with him.

[angieschiffahoi]

It is perfectly in character for Ryan to leave Alice behind and it did not break any of the Bat Team rules and here’s why. 

The biggest critique everyone makes of Batman is that he follows a self-made deontological code and that, as a solution to this, he should follow a utilitarian/consequentialist moral code: save the greater number, work towards the greater number of good consequences, kill the Joker already. 

But why won’t he kill the Joker? His moral stance isn’t based on absolute moral good, but on a Kantian-like set of rules, he decided one of these rules is never to kill. And like a good Kantian, there are not exceptions, especially for himself. The reasoning behind this categorical imperative is that if he’s allowed to kill then everyone else is allowed to kill, because categorical imperatives must be set only if you can imagine everyone else following them. 

So, if he kills the Joker, in his mind, he is making an exception for himself and by making the exception, he is implicitly allowing everyone else to kill, including the Joker so, in fact, he is killing an innocent person, by his moral standards.

The no-killing rule was Bruce Wayne’s categorical imperative, but morals are subjective. Not everyone understands and can therefore follow the same type of moral code.

Kate tried and failed to follow Bruce’s deontological rules to wear the cape, without understanding the logic behind it. Kate is shown to be more impulsive and a rule breaker. And it makes perfect sense. Bruce is a rich cis white male, privileged in every sense. The rules are made by those in power and he can make his own rules. He is privileged enough to have a moral code and follow it to a nauseating degree. Like every privileged white man, he’d rather be coherent than sacrifice his morals (which coincide with most of society’s norms and rules), than save lives by killing the Joker or any other serial killing villains he encounters.

Kate isn’t as privileged (she still is, but bear with me). She was kicked out of military school for not behaving properly. She chose to abide by her own rules as well, but being a gay Jewish woman this meant her rules were different than society’s. She sees no reason in a moral code that can be applied to everyone, because she understands that not everyone is willing to abide by the same rules (misogyny, homophobia and antisemitism are proof that people will not be tolerant to minorities and will not reserve her the same treatment she will give them). Therefore she, of course, understands that killing is bad, but she doesn’t understand why it is for Bruce. She doesn’t understand why there can’t be exceptions since she is an exception to society. Thus, she ends up killing Cartwright out of revenge and rage. And it is important to notice that it was Kate who killed him. Not Batwoman. Kate still respected Batman’s code, her cousin’s code, in his suit. Out of respect for him, not because she understood. Because to her, it didn’t really make that much sense.

Now, let’s talk about Ryan. 

Kate is a gay woman, yes. Less privileged than her male straight cousin, yes. But Kate is a billionaire! Ryan is a poor orphan and on top of that she’s black and gay. She cannot afford a moral code. AT ALL. Yet, she does have one, because she lived on the opposite side of society as Kate and Bruce. She saw her friends turn to crime and she knew better. She did her best to protect them, justify them, forgive them, even sacrificing herself for others, but still held herself accountable to a higher code, because she was allowed the chance to be loved. Cora made sure she grew up in a loving environment without crime. But Ryan’s code is not as unforgiving as Bruce’s is. It is based on community, because she understands what Kate couldn’t: not all people are privileged enough to be able to abide by the same rules. Ryan knew she got lucky; so she holds herself to a higher standard than, say, Angelique, because she was afforded the chance to come out of poverty and crime. 

When she decides rules for the Bat Team, she doesn’t add a no-killing rule, because it is pointless. People are different, people are human, there is no contraddiction when you kill one evil person to save a good one. The important thing is holding yourself and others accountable for your actions. 

Her rules are not for the cowl nor for the hero, nor for society as a whole, they are for the team. A team privileged enough to be able to abide to these rules when other people cannot. 

Rule #1: Legacy: we stand for something bigger than ourselves. 

Rule #2: Accountable: we hold each other accountable. 

Rule #3: Support: we got each other’s backs. 

Her rules aren’t an unbreakable moral code for one person to follow blindly. They are a social contract, a pact between people that includes a greater purpose, accountability and support. They don’t look up to rules, but they owe each other something. Mistakes are admissible, as long as there is someone to hold you accountable for them.

And Rule #1? It implicitly allows exceptions to individual or symbolic moral codes in order to make it a reality. If you stand for something bigger, sacrificing yourself, setting aside your own interests and, yes, even leaving a serial killer in the hands of another villain is admissible. Ryan doesn’t want to kill, but she understands that killing a villain (or letting them die) is not what taints Batman’s legacy: standing idle, solving one problem at a time, instead of advocating for change in the light of day is. 

Ryan managed to strive towards a larger goal without being utilitarian about it. She sees people, not great numbers and by making a social pact with her team, she’s making a social pact with her community. The Gotham community is not an immaterial entity that must be protected from unstoppable corruption, but a group of individuals with agency that should be given a chance. 

Ryan’s choice to leave Alice behind was as selfish as it was selfless and, while it may not have been the morally good choice in the eyes of Bruce Wayne, it didn’t break any of the rules the Bat Team agreed upon. 

It did not break the social pact the new Batwoman made with her community. 

****

Also, she’s a remorseless serial killer, guys. Funny and interesting to watch, but just stop victimizing her already. 

[persephonesfill]

choke on me—chapter four

breathe me in (prequel fic)

chapter three

chapter five

a/n: this is a pretty chill chapter, and chapter five is going to be the exact opposite so have fun with this one while you can ;)  also for my bilingual readers, if i have any, please excuse my shitty Italian in this chapter, i'm literally just working off of google translate

rating: pretty gen...this time

warning(s): n/a

—————

Carmen couldn't have picked a better day for a carnival; It's not too hot out for it to be August nonetheless. A slight breeze ruffles Tony's ungelled hair, sending his bangs into his eyes. He smooths the hair back with a huff. So much for keeping it casual today. His brief irritation dissipates when he looks, truly looks, at his surroundings. 

The scent of cotton candy and funnel cake and something smoky, no doubt barbecue, carries on the wind. There are two long lines of booths, rides, and rest places alike stretching for a good yard. The other volunteers are zooming about, dressed in bright red tees like the Avengers, finishing up last-minute preparations. 

"She doesn't half-ass anything, huh?" Clint says. He sounds impressed and…a little excited. Tony can't lie...he's excited too.

"I'll say," Steve says, and there's no hiding the awe in his voice. "I can't believe some of these rides even exist." 

Out the corner of his eye, Tony sees Thor lean down to whisper something in Bruce's ear, blue eyes dancing. Whatever he said makes Bruce laugh, a real one, not the sharp little chuckle that's usually full of self-loathing or sarcasm or both. 

They're off to a good start. Even Natasha looks pleased, or as pleased as she can be, with her arms crossed in front of her. She's taking in their surroundings too, but Tony knows that a part of her isn't doing it for fun. She's looking for enemies, escape routes, any possible threats to her and the others. 

"You can take an agent out of the field," he thinks. He hopes that maybe she'll loosen up by the end of the day, preferably without anyone getting hurt. 

"Where's Solomita?" she asks. "I want to know what we’re doing.”

"I know where she is," Tony says and leads the way, picking out Carmen's chirpy voice, throwing out orders and praise with a megaphone, Jesus Christ. 

"Make sure you're at your booths in ten minutes! The kids are going to be arriving soon!" 

She's crossing things off on her clipboard when Tony and the Avengers following behind him pull up in front of her. 

She hasn't changed a bit since Tony's last seen her. She's still tan, still short, shorter than Tony. Her dark wavy hair is pulled back into what she used to call her "business braid" for when she had "shit that needs to be done." 

Tony clears his throat, and Carmen looks up, her big brown eyes going wide before a grin breaks across her face and—

Carmen pounces on him, full-on throwing her arms around Tony's neck. Tony catches her no problem and—Carmen's mood is so infectious—gives her a little twirl before setting her down.

"Jesus Christ," Clint says under his breath. "She almost took him out." 

"Did not," Carmen says, and Clint has the good sense to look bashful. "This is normal for us. Especially when someone hasn't reached out in two. Years," she says, slapping Tony on the arm twice for emphasis. 

"Ouch," he says, rubbing his arm. "I've been busy."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Save the world a few times, and suddenly you have no time for your friends," she says, grinning, so Tony knows she's joking. She turns to the Avengers, who've all been standing there awkwardly like they're the new kids in school. 

"All jokes aside, I'm thankful for you guys, all of you," she says. "Who knows where we'd be without the Avengers." She sticks out her hand for them to shake and for a split second, nobody moves. Maybe it was the genuine gratitude in Carmen's voice, or the others were still trying to process Carmen's everything, but the smile on her face starts to waver at their hesitation.

Steve is the first to act, taking Carmen's hand in his own. "Thank you, ma'am," he says. "I know I speak for everyone when I say that we're glad the team exists, and we'll help out any way we can." 

"Thank you," Tony mouths to him, and Steve gives him a slight nod, letting go of Carmen's hand.

Thor steps up next and, in true princely fashion, bows, bringing Carmen's hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of her palm. "A pleasure to be here, my lady," Thor says.

Carmen's face is red when Thor straightens back up, releasing her hand. After that, it's like the others shift into gear. Clint apologizes for his comment. Bruce offers her a kind hello until it's just Natasha who steps up until she's right in front of Carmen. Even though they're the same height, Carmen stiffens up, looking at Natasha like she's about to get chastised. 

Natasha simply...sticks out her hand. "It’s nice to meet you,” she begins.

Carmen takes Natasha’s hand slowly like she’s expecting some trick. 

“I’m actually a fan,” Natasha says. “I saw your work this February while undercover. Very nice.” 

"Thank you," Carmen says. If she blushes anymore, Tony’s going to start worrying about her health. "I was actually inspired by your suit. The leather and the bodycon silhouette paired well with Fall and Winter." 

"Oh, really?" Natasha says, raising her brows. Natasha looks her up and down, and Carmen, much to her credit, holds her gaze. "I have ideas for your spring collection if you'd like to hear them." 

And just like that, the Avengers have won Carmen over forever. And Tony didn't even have to make any threats. Maybe today won't be a disaster after all.

"Yes, please," Carmen says, her voice coming out high and reedy. "I mean since you're offering—" 

“Carmen,” Tony interrupts before she starts melting under the full force of Natasha’s undivided attention, “what’s the game plan for today?” 

"Game plan. Right. We're here to work." Carmen clears her throat, a flush still staining her cheeks, and flips through some of the pages on her clipboard. "Okay, Tony, you're easy. You're running the basketball booth." 

Basketball. He can do basketball. 

"Mr. Rogers," Carmen says. Natasha starts humming "Won't You Be My Neighbor" until Steve shoots her an exasperated look. 

"Sorry," Natasha says, not sounding sorry at all. 

"Please, call me Steve," Steve says. "She already has that song set as my ringtone."

"Steve," Carmen says. "I know you're an artist. Think you could do caricatures slash portraits?" 

Steve nods. "Easy enough." 

The rest of the assignments go quickly. Natasha gets the sharpshooting booth, Clint's over Ring Toss, and Thor and Bruce will oversee the sack race. Now that introductions and assignments are over, there's a thrum of excitement to the air. Or anxiety. Tony's not sure yet. 

"Nervous?" Carmen says to him. She's tucked her pen behind her ear. 

"Maybe," he says. "Maybe not. It could just be indigestion."

"Gross," she laughs, wrinkling her nose. "I'm sure it'll be fine. I meant what I said, you know. I'm glad you guys showed up. You know how much A Helping Hand means to me." 

Of course, he does. Carmen's like him...in more ways than one. She had been orphaned at nineteen when her parents' plane had gone down over the Atlantic. 

And at twenty-one, she had also found herself the sole heir to a family fortune and no family to share it with. She got the idea for A Helping Hand after Tony's own parents had died. 

Tony repeats what she had told him all those years ago. "Us orphans gotta stick together."

"Damn right," she says. "Siamo famiglia."

"Siamo famiglia," Tony echoes. 

"Congrats on your new additions, by the way," Carmen says. 

Tony's brows furrow. "What new additions?" he asks.

Carmen tilts her head at him like she used to whenever she thought he had said something stupid. "You're telling me that those five supermodels you call teammates just came here for shits and giggles?" 

"They needed a day off," Tony explains. "I offered. Nothing else to it."

"They came because you asked them, dumbass. They're your friends." 

Tony's not going to argue with her, mostly since the others have stopped talking amongst themselves and are looking right at them. 

"Anyway," he says pointedly, "can you point me in the direction of my booth?" 

*********

For the next three hours, Tony shoves Carmen's words from his mind and throws himself into teaching anyone who steps up to the basketball booth about physics. It wasn't cheating per se; Tony simply calculated the angle the kids would have to throw the ball along with the perfect amount of force. The looks of shock followed by unabashed glee after they made a basket more than made up for any guilt he was feeling.  

His break comes faster than he wants it to, but he has to take one eventually and decides the best way to do that is to take a walk. His fellow volunteer, a young man named Jake, says he'll be able to hold down the fort while Tony's gone. Maybe Tony will check on the others, see how they're faring. 

“It’s a great day to fly,” he thinks. The sky is a soft pale blue that soothes his heart. Cirrus clouds, like pulled apart cotton candy, lazily make their way across the horizon. Maybe after the carnival is over, he’ll take the suit out for a ride and cruise through the skies. 

He wanders without direction, letting his feet carry him wherever they fancy. Seldom does Tony get quiet moments to himself like this. There was always a fire to put out, a project to work on, kittens to rescue from trees, that sort of thing. Not that he ever doubted her, but maybe Pepper was right. Maybe he did work too hard. 

The sound of children squealing pulls him from his thoughts and brings a smile to his face. Carmen had spared no expense, not that he expected any less, as he takes in the Tilt-a-Whirl lifting its arms higher and higher. The riders throw their arms up in the air, their laughter carrying on the wind. For today, they would get to fly too. 

Tony continues on, the shouts and whoops and laughs fading into the background; he's made it to a quieter part of the carnival where they tucked off all of the arts and crafts booths. 

There's the finger painting table where plenty of toddlers and adults alike are flinging paint onto sheets of canvas. One kid rises from the face painting table with Cap's shield emblazoned upon his cheek and a booth over...there's Steve, drawing caricatures for the kids. There's a curve to his lips. Steve's biting back a smile at the little boy trying (and failing) to sit still in his chair as he draws him. Tony's heart jumps at the sight. He's tempted to slide into the line for Steve's booth himself, but something holds him back. It could be the look of contentment on Steve's face or the kid's near infectious excitement—Tony feels like he's intruding on something private. Someone else's life. Someone else's dream. 

His heart pangs in his chest as the little boy jumps as soon as his drawing is finished and throws himself into Steve's arms. Steve startles but recovers quickly, giving the kid a polite hug back. 

For some reason, Tony thinks of the kid he met not even a year ago when everyone thought he was dead: Harley. Tony didn't hug Harley. He didn't have it in him to hug Harley. The kid deserved it, though, for dealing with Tony's shit. Tony liked kids well enough, but having one of his own? He would never admit it out loud, but it scared him. And Steve...Steve deserved more than a coward. 

There's less energy in his steps as he turns around and walks right back to the basketball booth. 

He knows he still has time left on his break, but for some reason, he can't bring himself to care. 

He finishes his shift with little fanfare, the carnival-goers opting for the rides and fair food after loading up on prizes for the day. 

His head's all foggy like he just got up from a nap. He's so out of it, he doesn't even realize that the others are walking up to his booth. Tony blinks slowly, trying to ignore the pressure building in his forehead, a sure sign of a headache. 

"Hey," Steve says when they make it to his booth. "You about ready?"

Tony winces, prompting the others to look him up and down. 

"You okay? What's bothering you?" Clint asks. 

"Just got a headache," Tony says, stepping out from his booth, giving Jake a wave. Jake waves back, trying his best not to look starstruck at the sight of the other Avengers.

"Did you eat at all?" Natasha asks, and as soon as she says something, his stomach growls. 

"Guess not," Bruce says. 

"You must eat," Thor says gently. "A warrior such as yourself must maintain your strength."

He knows they're right, but being confronted by all of them at once has his hackles rising. Carmen's words are getting all tangled up with Pepper's, and he can't. Stop. Thinking. 

"I will," he says, aware that they're watching him more closely now. He hopes that he doesn't look as unsound as he feels. "But why leave just yet? Don't you guys want to check out some of the booths or rides before we leave?" 

Steve starts to object, but Natasha is one second faster. "I did want to beat Clint at Shoot 'em Up," she says with a smirk. 

Steve looks ready to protest, but Clint cuts him off. "Oh, you're on," he says. "Loser has to do the other's paperwork for two weeks." 

"Prepare to drown in files, Barton," Natasha says, catching Tony's eye. 

Tony nods at her. A Thank you. 

She flips her hair over her shoulder. You're welcome. He doesn't know when they learned to read each other so well. 

Clint and Natasha make their way to the sharpshooting booth, Thor and Bruce walking along behind them. 

"You sure you're okay?" Steve asks, scanning Tony from head to toe. Steve can see through him so easily, his skin might as well be made of glass.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Tony says. "Come on. Let's catch up before they kill each other."

*********

Natasha and Clint tie in Shoot 'em Up. Since Tony is on a team that consists entirely of children, they extend their competition to every booth in the carnival. Steve warms up as the day goes on, even joining in on their little competition along with Thor. Tony and Bruce are just content to watch. 

Thor ropes Steve into the strongman game, which attracts a crowd, but who would turn down the sight of two handsome, well-built men lifting heavy things and showing off their muscles? Tony certainly couldn't, and given the way Bruce eyes the bulge of Thor's biceps, neither could he. 

Steve rings the bell easily and wins, of all things, a Captain Ameribear for his trouble.  

"Aw," Tony says. "It has wings on its helmet too." 

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that it came with a shield pillow?" Clint asks. 

Steve blushes, but it's all in good fun. Thor, of course, breaks the game, the bell flying clean off the top of the tower. The game runner in awe (and a little bit of fear) gives Thor a prize regardless. Tony promises to compensate the man as soon as possible. Despite all of that, his headache has receded slightly. He needs to eat now, and that barbecue is starting to smell better and better. 

Tony's so caught up in drooling over a rack of ribs or some trashed wings he barely notices the others walking off to the next booth, Steve lingering behind to wait on him. 

"Sorry," Tony says. "Guess I'm out of it. You...you don't have to wait on me, you know." 

Steve shrugs. "No one's forcing me. Spending time with you isn't a chore. This actually works out." 

Tony smiles despite himself. "What are you planning?"

"Nothing," Steve says. "I just wanted you to have this." Steve hands the bear over to Tony, and Tony...Tony melts because Steve is so fucking cute and sweet, and how did the hell did he end up in Tony's life? 

Tony takes the bear, and maybe it's the lack of food in his system, but the urge to cry at Steve's kindness strikes him. The bear is cute with Steve's signature red, white, and blue suit and the shield to go along with it. "Thank you," Tony says. "You sure you want me to hold onto this?" 

Steve looks at him from underneath his lashes. "Tony," he begins, "it's a gift. I want you to have it." 

"Okay," Tony whispers, feeling like the air is closing in on him. It's hard to breathe when Steve looks at him like that, like Tony means something to him. 

"Besides," Steve says, leaning in close to him. "I'm gonna clean the booths out. I'm trying to beat the super spies. Can you keep him safe for me?" 

Steve's breath, cool and minty, washes over his face. Tony has to blink a few times, processing what just happened before he can even think about speaking. 

"Are you guys coming, or are you just going to gaze into each other's eyes?" Clint shouts from the next booth over. 

Tony jumps and hurries to rejoin the others, Steve right behind him, staring into his back.

True to his word, Steve cleans out every booth they touch,  until he's practically drowning in stuffed animals. They attract a crowd as they make their way to the food court. Tony's feet are aching, and his stomach is outright roaring for sustenance. He and Thor get the biggest plate of ribs they've got to offer. The meat's so tender it's falling off the bone and smoked to perfection. The sauce they used is homemade, all tang and smoky sweetness. He eats until his stomach is about ready to burst. 

Thor's singing the cooks' praises and their delicious Midgardian cuisine and rises to go get seconds, Bruce trailing after him.

Clint runs off to the bathroom, and something catches Steve's eye. Tony follows his gaze to the herd of children trying (and failing) to watch them eat without freaking out. Steve rises from the table, taking his prizes with him, leaving just Tony and Natasha behind.

"Sometimes, I can't believe he's real," Natasha says, breaking the silence. There's no need to wonder who's the "he" she's talking about. Tony thinks it himself sometimes. 

It's hard not to when kids start lining up single file for their turn to receive a stuffed animal from Steve. 

"Me neither," Tony says. "Howard...he'd tell me all these stories of Steve and the 'good old days'...Steve single-handedly storming a HYDRA facility. Throwing himself on a grenade to give others the chance to live. I always thought he was embellishing a little. Making war stories more digestible for a kid, you know? But seeing him, knowing him? You can't help but wonder how someone can be so good."

"He's not like you," Natasha says. He doesn't even have it in himself to be offended. She's right. Steve isn't like Tony and will never be like Tony. A little rough around the edges. "He's not like me, either," she admits, catching Tony by surprise. 

"He's the best of us," Tony says. He glances at her. Natasha sits forward, resting her head upon her palm. Her face is smooth, her cheeks still tinged pink from their rowdy tramping through the fairgrounds. She looks...raw. That's the only word to describe her. Raw and real and human. Not the robot switching personalities and names and appearances like most people change clothes. 

"You make him that way," she says, shocking him again. His stomach drops, and whatever peace between them quickly disintegrates. What does she mean by that? What could she possibly know about him and Steve and all the complexities of their relationship? 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Tony says, his voice coming out thin. 

Something in Natasha’s face softens, and she tilts her head at Tony. “I’m not going to pretend I know all of the details, but…you’re good for him. And I think he’s good for you. You’re both...softer. You look happy.” 

It’s like someone’s dumped cold water down Tony’s back; he’s so in shock he can barely register what Natasha is saying. He swallows. Natasha knows. Of course, she knows, and if it weren’t her job to gather intel and pick up on context clues, he’d be a lot more worried that the others knew. But she wasn’t blackmailing him or threatening him to stay away from Steve? She...approved of them? He remembers that debriefing after they had defeated Loki, what felt like a lifetime ago, and her casual dismissal of Tony and his relationship with Steve. He wants to bring it up, to confront her, but what’s there to confront? 

He brings it up anyway. “Still think he wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole?” 

Natasha tilts her head at him again, and he hates how sweaty his palms have gotten, and the hummingbird beating of his heart, like his relationship with Steve hinges on her opinion. 

“No,” she says slowly as if to weigh her words. “He wants you too much. I don’t think he could give you up even if he wanted to.” 

As if summoned, Steve comes bounding back to their table looking boyish and vibrant in the evening sun before Tony can process her words. 

"What I miss?" he says with a breathless grin, holding onto one last stuffed animal. 

"Nothing much," Tony says before Natasha can say anything incriminating. His eyes dart down to the last stuffed animal in Steve's arms. It's an Iron Man bear, of course, all done up in the telltale red and gold of Tony's suit. "What's the deal, no one wanted him?" he says, nodding to the bear. 

Steve looks down at the Iron Bear, and what he says next might actually make Tony melt into a puddle. "Nah. Couldn't bear to give him up."

Tony ignores Natasha's pointed look and hopes that his face isn't as red as he thinks it is. 

“Clint, you’re riding with me on the Ferris wheel,” Natasha declares when everyone makes it back to their table, and Steve has successfully made Tony as red as his suit. 

“A Ferris wheel?” Thor asks, arching his brow. 

“It’s a carnival classic,” Clint says. “It’s a giant wheel that lifts you into the air. Perfect way to end the day.”

“It’s older than Cap,” Natasha throws in helpfully, smirking at Steve when he shoots her an exasperated look. 

“Your Midgardian traditions are so strange,” Thor says. “Interesting, but strange.” 

“I’m not hearing a no,” Clint says. 

“Hm.” Thor turns to look at Bruce, who looked surprisingly (and thankfully) content with himself. “Would you like to ride with me, Doctor Banner?”

Bruce reddens, and Tony doesn't feel so alone because it looks like Bruce has his own beefy blond problem he needs to deal with. "Sure, since you asked," Bruce responds, leaving just...Steve. 

Steve shares a look with Natasha, and Tony gets the sneaking suspicion that they planned this. Who knew that the fall of SHIELD would lead to one of the most dangerous alliances Tony had ever seen? 

"Tony," Steve begins, sounding like he's about to propose, he's so serious. "Want to ride with me?" 

His heartbeat quickens, and he's not sure why. It's not like it's a public declaration of love to ride with someone on a Ferris wheel. 

It'd look weird if he takes too long to answer, so Tony says, "Yeah. Sounds like a plan." 

They toss their trash and pick up their respective prizes they won throughout the day, Natasha with her light-up sword, Clint with his stuffed dog. Thor's lion hat from the strongman game sits proudly atop his head. Tony wants to make a joke about Hercules, but he also doesn't want to deal with the guaranteed headache he'll get when Thor replies with some mind-bending statement like he and Hercules are gym bros or other. Tony and Steve walk side by side, far behind the rest of their little group, bears in one hand, their free hands brushing with each step. 

Part of him knows that if he just reached over...if he took that extra step for Steve's hand...Steve would let him. It'd be so easy…

The line to the Ferris wheel isn't too long, and by the time Tony works up the courage to take Steve's hand, the volunteers are strapping them in. 

One of the volunteers lowers the bar over their heads, making sure that they're secure, and that's it. Tony's trapped. He's stuck on this Ferris wheel for the next ten minutes, and Steve is so goddamn close he can feel how hot his skin is from being out in the sun and—

"I'm not gonna bite, you know," Steve mutters when they start to ascend. He won't meet Tony's eyes. "I...I know you're afraid of me."

Tony swallows, his stomach twisting into knots at the thought of Steve thinking he feared him. 

"I'm not...Steve, I'm not afraid of you," Tony says. Steve's still looking down. He doesn't know where he gets the courage, but he cups Steve's face and makes him look at him. "You hear me? I'm not afraid of you." 

Steve's eyes have always been a weakness of Tony's, and right now, when they're so big and blue and so fucking sad, it doesn't do him any favors. They're almost at the top of the wheel. A stray breeze rustles a lock of Steve's hair, and Tony feels like he's on a cliff's edge. 

"Then why—" Steve begins, only to be cut off by Tony's lips. Tony closes his eyes and answers Steve the only way he knows how.

It's cliche, but Tony swears he can see fireworks going off behind his eyelids. Steve's lips are warm and soft and pliant against his. Tony deepens the kiss and slides one of his hands into Steve's hair, the other remaining on his face. He can taste the remnants of cotton candy on Steve's mouth. 

They break apart because, unfortunately, air is necessary to live. Tony has half a mind to invent a way for humans to survive without air if it meant he could spend the rest of his life kissing Steve. 

This high up, with the sun setting behind them, Tony wishes he had at least brought a jacket. 

Steve lifts his arm, "Here," he says. "Lean into me." Tony does just that and tucks his body into Steve's side, his arm is a reassuring weight around him.

The others are too far back to see Tony and Steve. It's easy up here, easy to forget that Steve's Captain America and Tony's a barely functioning former alcoholic with a slew of mental issues. 

He looks at Steve out the corner of his eye, takes in his features shamelessly and selfishly, the allure of being above everyone reeling him in. He loves Steve's face, the cut of his jaw, and his long, pretty lashes and those eyes. It's painful looking at him. Sometimes it feels like his heart's gonna swell up and pop right out of his chest when he looks at Steve. 

In that moment, he's glad they went to the carnival if only to forget the world for a little while.

[incomingalbatross]

Jason Todd’s canon origin is, fundamentally, a mess. And here’s why.

To start with, it very often happens in writing that you decide “I need this specific thing to have happened” and then have to find reasons for the characters to Do The Thing. That’s cool! That’s not bad writing!

Bad writing is deciding you need a thing to happen...and then making it happen without giving the characters reasons to do what they’re doing. And Jason is a great example of how this can go wrong!

To start with, let’s look at Robins in general. From the start, every Robin has been a writer-first decision—they decided they needed this character to have this position in the story, and then had to find a way to make that happen. The core question, always, is why does Bruce Wayne take this child into his life? And it needs a good answer because A) that’s a big decision and B) Bruce Wayne has a unique life and generally several compelling reasons not to take in a child.

Robin #1. Dick Grayson. They needed a reason for Bruce to take on this child as his ward and sidekick—why this kid? Why Dick, specifically?

Answer: Because he’s just been through the exact same trauma as Bruce’s defining trauma and has a similar temperament. Bruce is so particularly suited to helping him through it that he can’t not take him in. Good writing!

Robin #3, skipping ahead. Tim Drake. They needed a replacement for Jason, a new Robin to undarken things a little—but why would Bruce take in another kid after this tragedy? And why this kid, specifically?

Answer: Because Tim sees what the writers and audience see—”Batman needs a Robin”—and inserts himself into Bruce’s story. Because the need for a new Robin is so clear that even characters can see it—that is, instead of covering up their reasons, the writers leaned into them. Good Writing!

Robin #3.5, Stephanie Brown... Okay, her story was a trash fire. It was a crime against every character involved and I hate it. HOWEVER, unlike Jason’s origin, we can throw all of War Games into the fandom dumpster out back without losing beloved characters or any fundamental emotional beats! It actually makes things better because we don’t have to deal with heroes and good people hurting/killing/abusing each other, or a teenage girl being needlessly tortured!

Answer: ...we don’t need a good answer to their objectives because the objectives were bad. Jettison the whole thing. If you want Steph as an interim Robin you can just say Tim had, I dunno, strep or something, and she stepped in. War Games is the worst possible version of Robin Steph and contributed nothing but wholesale character assassination.

ANYWAY. Robin #4, Damian Wayne. The writer wanted him to join the family without anyone liking or trusting him, and without a Robin slot for him to fill immediately. That’s tough. Why this kid specifically? How is he bonded to the family?

Answer: He’s Bruce’s unknown biological son! Perfect. Automatically Bruce’s responsibility. I have problems with Damian’s arc but his intro works, good writing.

And then...we have Jason. Robin #2, the first experiment in “making a new Robin.” They, quite blatantly, wanted someone to replace Dick. (Because he was currently the property of the NTT creative team, and their vision of “increasingly capable leader of a team having their coming-of-age stories and fighting fullsize threats every week” did not fit well with Gotham’s demands of “Batman’s kid who we bring back from college whenever we need a Boy Hostage.”) So obviously that leaves questions. Why would Batman give Dick’s place to a new kid? And why this kid, specifically?

We have two versions of the answer here!

1: Pre-Crisis Jason Todd, the blond one, was SUPER clearly Replacement Dick—he was, in fact, a tragically orphaned circus acrobat whose parents were murdered (by Killer Croc, this time) while they were performing in Gotham. And...y’know, given this implausible thing happening, Bruce adopting him DOES make sense! He and Dick would both see it as fitting that he helps this kid, especially since he now has actual experience in raising orphaned acrobats. He has a successful track record and everything.

2: Given, however, that this was blatantly contrived AND Blond Jay didn’t have much to distinguish him from Dick, they decided to rewrite it completely. Post-Crisis Jason is a homeless orphan with a dead drug-addict mom and a convict dad, and... there’s NO clear answer to the questions posed above?

Seriously. There really isn’t.

Bruce and Jason’s interactions are: 1. Batman catches child stealing the Batmobile’s tires, finds out he’s homeless; 2. Batman takes child to a boys’ home and gets him taken in; 3. Batman catches child stealing his tires again, learns from child that the Home is actually a front for some kind of Artful Dodger setup where the boys are forced to do more crime; 4. Batman and child bust the Home together; 5. Batman decides to make the child his new Robin.

There is NO compelling reason there for Bruce Wayne to bring this child into either side of his life, let alone BOTH! I mean... you can’t tell me that he hasn’t had equally meaningful interactions with dozens of other kids, over the years. This is NOT SUFFICIENT.

“Bruce saw himself in Jason” “They bonded during this” These are things we, the fans, can insert into our versions of this story. Those are good versions, I like them and I have my own in my head! But we have to insert them ourselves. It’s not there in the outline like Dick and Damian’s links to Bruce, or Tim’s claim to Robin, all are. The closest thing we have is that Bruce thinks Robin will help “channel Jason’s anger,” which... A) still not sufficient, and B) that actually makes it WORSE??

(Because the implication is that he needs “rehabilitating” to not “go bad,” which, uhhhhhhh, is NOT a good place to adopt a child from OR the kind of person you should bring into your household on a whim—especially when you’re BATMAN. You don’t give a kid you don’t trust access to your home, access to your preexisting kid’s AND the JLA’s secret identities, and ADVANCED FIGHTING SKILLS.)

ANYWAY. There’s no good reason given for Bruce to take in Jason... and HERE we see why out-of-universe reasons matter. Because they reflect in-universe factors, and if you DON’T account for that...

Well, then the most obvious explanation for Jason being Robin is still “to replace Dick.” But in-universe, that means BRUCE is trying to use him to replace Dick—after all, what makes this different from every other orphan Bruce has helped? Only the fact that when he met Jason, Dick had recently left home and the Dynamic Duo.

And I hate this explanation!! It’s gross and super unfair to Jason as a person and paints their relationship as unhealthy from the start!! My Batman would never do this to a child!! But canon didn’t give us a better answer.

So yeah, this is one of the reasons why Jason’s time as Robin is inherently a Problem from a writing perspective.

It’s a pain!!