#her music body would make a sweet attack

[classypauli]

𝑫𝑶𝑪𝑻𝑶𝑹’𝑺 𝑻𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑻

Part 2

Pairing: Tara Carpenter x fem!Reader

Summary: After so long Tara finally meets you again... only this time a little drunk.

Word count: 3k

It has now been a couple of weeks since visiting the hospital. People would think that Tara has already forgotten about what happened but the opposite is true. In those weeks there wasn´t a day she would not think about you. Her mind was repeating what happened and everytime a smile grew on her face. Mindy and Chad started to make fun of her, saying she looked like a kid first time having a crush. She doesn´t care.

Tara wanted to see you, so badly. She started thinking about how to get to see you again, like she would play another attack and go to the hospital, which to be honest was too cruel, or she would just go there and act like she had some examination and suddenly she saw you start to talk with you, then you would ask her to go on a date with her, you would start dating and-

God, she needs to stop. Young Carpenter sighed and put her head on the table. The voice of her professor was muted in her ears, today she felt like sleeping, just laying in her bed all day doing nothing. It was friday and she promised to go to some party. Mindy has been talking about it forever.

„Mindy I´m not in a mood right now.“ The girl turned her forehead against the table.

„I didn´t even say anything!“ Mindy scanned the shorter girl, looking for any signs of sickness. „You don´t feel good?“ she asked now with a normal tone. Tara shook her head.

„Well then we should probably call some doctor, who knows, maybe they will help you.“ Tara punched the girl beside her, making an angry noise from being teased on.

„Who does he think he is?!“ Tara was angry. They were currently at the party Mindy talked about. Everything was fine at first, everyone was minding their business, and they danced and drank, talked and joked around. It was so much fun.

But that fun soon disturbed that idiot Frankie. He was being himself of course and was trying to get with every girl there, including Tara. But the girl wasn´t in the mood for his stupid games. At first, she ignored him but as soon as he was touchy and started grabbing her to go upstairs, she became furious.

She yelled at him so hard the boy even flinched, wasn´t expecting this behavior from a sweet girl like Tara. Yeah, like she was some easy prey. He then became angry and embarrassed but knowing a lot of people were around him he couldn´t do anything.

„He is a prick Tara forget about him.“ Mindy was standing beside her watching as her friend was getting more alcohol into her cup. Tara wasn´t really drunk, yet at least. And after this incident, she just wanted to get alcohol into her system to forget about his ugly ass face.

„Like...“ the short girl let out and furious sigh out of her lips. „he is such a fucking idiot I´m surprised no girl has punched him yet.“ Tara shook her head at the bitter taste as the alcohol touched her tongue. Maybe she will be first.

„Oh! And on top of that-“

„Tara.“ Mindy said from her side but she only continued, she didn´t even notice the hand of her on her right shoulder.

„-he even-„

„Tara.“ Mindy said a little louder through the loud music that was playing in the house.

„Fuck Mindy what!“ Tara looked at her friend, raising her voice a little. She wasn´t angry at her, of course not and Mindy also knew that, but Tara had a short temper.

„Apollo at 9 o´clock.“

Tara turned pale. Her eyes widen and her body becomes stiff. She felt like she had forgotten how to breathe. What did she say? No, that can´t be. The only person they were calling Apollo was...

„Tara fucking turn around.“ Mindy said between her clenched teeth as she kept looking at the way she told her to look at.

Tara took a big breath trying to calm her beating heart and shot her eyes to the left. There was a group of friends chatting and laughing, they had beers and cups in their hands as they were standing by the side of the room so as not to disturb anybody.

She scanned the group and suddenly saw the familiar figure she had been so desperate to find these past weeks. You were standing there in your civil clothes and cup in your hand. Your bright smile could be seen from every spot of the room, smiling at your friends as you were talking about something, sipping on your drink.

„Tell me I´m not crazy.“ Tara´s eyes kept looking at you as if she was afraid you would disappear again. Her chest kept rising and falling at a fast speed.

„No Tara, you´re definitely not.“ Mindy may only see you from a photo but this was definitely you. You looked far better in a person than in a photo, she must tell.

The young Carpenter turned to Mindy with wide eyes and eyebrows raised. „Oh my God! Oh my God! What do I do?!“ she quickly looked at her clothes if they looked fine. „Do I look good? I don´t have anything between my teeth?“ she smiled widely showing her teeth Mindy to check.

„Stop Tara! Calm down.“ Mindy took her shoulders to make her look at her. „Okay okay stop right now. No, you don´t have anything between your teeth. You´re fine.“

Deep and slow breaths were the next thing she needed to do or she would have another attack and that would be pretty embarrassing. It was just you. Yeah, just the cute doctor who took care of her at the hospital. Yes, only you, as if you were someone special-

Of course, you were special! To her! She wanted to impress you so badly. The girl was always thinking about the ways she would meet you again, what would she say to you, what would she be wearing, and how she would impress you... She looked like a garbage at the moment.

Today Tara didn´t give a fuck about what would her clothes be or how she would style her hair. She just wanted to have a little fun from studying and enjoy the night with her friends.

She looked at your way one more time and your eyes met. You squint your eyes at the girl as if you were trying to remember something. She quickly turned her head to Mindy, a scared look swimming in her eyes.

„Mindy. She saw me.“

„And now she´s making her way here.“

„No, that can´t be real.“

„Oh yes, it is.“

„No no no no.“ Tara shook her head to left and right trying to put herself together. She wasn´t ready to face you. This is not how she imagined your second meeting.

„Hi.“ Mindy looked at you and greeted you back. She took Tara again by her shoulders and turned her to you.

„Hi.“ The short girl said as she was now looking at your pretty eyes. You were smiling at her like you were the first time you saw each other.

„I´m sorry I didn´t wanna disturb but... I think I know you.“ You now lowered your eyebrows a bit and kept scanning Tara´s face.

What? Do you know her? Oh my God, you remember! The girl´s heart started beating in her chest as she now realized that. You wouldn´t remember if she didn´t catch your attention, right? Right?!

„Uhm... I-“

„Oh! I know! You were in a hospital! I knew you were familiar.“ You smiled widely at her, you looked happy that you could remember after all a lot of people came through your hands every day.

Tara breathed out as she looked down. „Yeah,“ she laughed „you got me.“

„Oh, you okay now? You had any complications after?“ You kept asking her as you scanned her face and body, not in a disgusting way. But let´s be honest, Tara wouldn´t mind that either.

The shorter girl smiled softly, playing with her hands as she was softly swaying her body to the sides like a small child. „No no, everything has been fine since then.“ She smiled shyly at you. „Thanks again.“. You just shook your head like she had nothing to thank for. You were just too sweet.

Mindy offered you and your group to be with them and after the introduction, some went to drink more in the kitchen or went to the dance floor. The three of you along with some of your friends were sitting on a couch in a living room with drinks in your hands, talking and laughing at others' dancing skills.

You were so friendly and your friends too, Tara was looking at you the whole time, listening carefully every time you started speaking so none of the words could slip her. The Carpenter didn´t even notice how much alcohol she drank, guess it was because of the stress from your presence but as soon as she stood up, she could feel everything.

Oh no. Her mind was now spinning, „I´m going to the toilet.“ Mindy offered to go with her as she saw her friend's face. She was drunk.

„Oh my God, Mindy.“ These were the first words that left her mouth as she saw herself in a mirror. Her eyes were down and her face was all sweaty from the hot room and alcohol. Tara touched her cheek at the state and turned around to her friend. „I can´t go back looking like this.“ Her mind was spinning and she barely could control her legs. „I´m so fucked up.“

Mindy was behind her smirking, leaning against the bathroom door, clearly dunk as well. „Tomorrow morning will be fun.“ She laughed to herself, eyes closed from the sharp light of the bathroom.

„Hey! Are you even listening to me?“ Tara went to her but stumbled a little. Mindy laughed at her clumsy friend. She wasn´t as drunk as Tara, she could still walk normally. The only thing she was more giggling than usual.

„Come on, it´s fine. Or do you wanna leave Y/N?“ Mindy asked Tara. „Did you forget about how you were these couple of weeks?“.

Right. She can´t do that. She needs to get your number, at least that. They went to the group again but with each step they took the alcohol in their system could be felt more and more. Tara was now so drunk that she laughed at everything she saw. The girl sat beside you again but this time a little more closer than she was before, you turned to her and smiled at her. She giggled at you as she tilted her head a little.

You could see her cheeks were red and her eyes had fallen a little. Every time she was speaking her voice was really loud and her hands were everywhere around the place, even almost smacked you but you were quick to dodge it. Yep, she was drunk.

Tara´s mobile kept vibrating a couple of times but she only ignored that. It was Sam, she was worried about her because they agreed that Tara would inform her every now and then that everything was fine. The first time you caught the notification you wanted to warn Tara about it but then you saw it.

On her wallpaper was your photo from the hospital, the one with all of your colleagues. The photo was zoomed on your smiling figure, it was so cute you wanted to laugh but you couldn´t. You didn´t want to embarrass her so you played like you didn´t see that.

„So...“ Tara hiccuped as she leaned her hand on the back of the couch behind your head. You raised your eyebrows at her as you were trying to hide the smile from how drunk and cute at the same time she was. „How old are you?“ she kept looking into your eyes as if she was trying to seduce you but was cut by a hiccup again.

Laughing at her now you answered her question. „How old do I look?“

„I don´t know, you look really young to be a doctor. You are a doctor? Or you are a student? How old are you?“ Tara squints her eyes at you. You let out a laugh as you threw your head back at her words, closing your eyes in the process.

Tara was drunk smiling at you, showing her dimples. She didn´t know why you were laughing but it was because of her so she didn´t mind. In her head it meant victory. You wiped your unexisting tears and shook your head. „You are so drunk.“

„No, I´m not! Look I can drink more!“ she went to grab a cup that was on the table in front of the couch but you were quick to take it from her hand.

„Absolutely not, you had too much already.“ Tara wanted to argue with you about it but her thoughts were cut by your touch.

„You have really pretty hands. They are much bigger than mine, look!“ she compared your hands and yes, hers were really small.

„And your fingers are so long... I wonder how it would feel inside of-“

Mindy covered her friend's mouth from beside her. She kept listening to your conversation the whole time, making sure Tara wouldn´t say or do something she would be embarrassed about the next day. Something like this.

„Okay, I think we should head home.“ Mindy wanted to pull Tara on her legs but she didn´t want to stand up and leave you. She kept pouting as she sat a little more closer to you almost sitting at your tights.

„Come on, I will go with you.“ You stood up and gently took her hands to help her on her legs. She smiled like a kid and immediately did what you wanted her to do.

 You and Mindy were taking Tara to her home. Sam was now calling Mindy asking about her sister. She had the right to be mad, she let her go to a party under the condition of her texting her if she was alright.

As you were close to the apartment door Mindy left you two so you could be alone. Tara won´t remember it but Mindy for sure will and she will make sure her friend will pay back for this.

„We are already here.“ Tara whined and turned around to look at you as you now stood in front of her door. „I don´t wanna leave you, I wanna be with you.“ The girl hugged your neck as she put her head on your chest to stare into your eyes.

You laughed at her. „Don´t worry, I´m sure we will see each other again.“

„Do you wanna come inside?“ she smirked and dragged her finger around your shoulder, tilting her head to the side softly. The young Carpenter had clearly enough for today.

„You know I can´t Tara.“ You breathe out with a kind smile on your lips.

„I love it when you call my name, it sounds so different, and also your smile and your eyes and-“

The door from her home suddenly opened and there stood Sam. The three of you kept looking at each other shocked written on your faces, waiting till someone made the first move.

„Uhm... hey I´m Y/N, I don´t know if you remember me.“ You smiled kindly at Tara´s sister. She kept studying you a little, then it hit her. Yeah, you were the one from the hospital. You helped Tara and that was all she needed to know.

„Yeah, I remember.“ She then looked at her sister, slowly shaking her head. Tara´s arms were still around you, not caring that her sister could see everything. „Come on Tara.“

The short girl let out a whine not wanting to let you go. She tightened her grip on you and was now looking at you to save her from her angry sister. „You need to let go of me.“ Your voice was so soft, it was only convincing her to stay but your words said otherwise and she needed to listen to you.

Slowly pulling away from and with a point on her lips, eyes big as if you were saying that you will never see her again. You didn´t even leave and she missed you already. The girl just wanted to stay with you.

„Will I see you again?“ Tara asked as she was almost at her apartment looking for your answer. You nodded your head at her, shooting her one of your smiles with a wink.

„Okay... Goodnight.“ She said with a low voice, putting her head down and leaving you in a hallway. Sam turned to you and gave you a tight-lipped smile.

„Thanks for bringing her here.“

„It´s fine, she´s amazing.“ You looked from the way she disappeared to Sam. „I guess I will head home also. Goodnight.“ You waved at her and started to walk away.

The next morning couldn´t be worse. Tara woke up with a terrible headache and the urge to throw up, Sam was giving her silent treatment, Mindy kept teasing her about yesterday and she had no way of contacting you. Like she would do that, the girl was so embarrassed that she just wanted to bury herself deep into the ground.

Afternoon Mindy and Chad came, and they kept making fun of Tara and her flirting skills. Suddenly her phone rang signaling a new message.

Y/N:) :Heyy, hope you feel better

What? How did you get her number? It was really you?

„Mindy? How did you get Y/N´s contact into my phone?“ Her friend looked at her with a confused face. „Did you give her my number?“ Mindy shook her head, still looking muddled.

„Maybe she did it herself.“ She shrugged her shoulders. „At least you have her number finally!“

Yeah, at least something but when did you make it? Oh yeah, she probably left her phone on the couch when she went to the bathroom. But if you got your phone number into her phone that must mean...

„Oh God... please no.“ She put her head into her hands, covering her red face from embarrassment.

You saw that fucking wallpaper.

Taglist: @jensortega813 @isawxxp 🤍

[wands-natsthing]

𝐈𝐟 𝐈’𝐦 𝐒𝐨 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥

Hii I haven’t written anything in months so hopefully this isn’t like bad 

Plsss like and comment if ya wanna I love reading them and it's so motivating

And feedback is more than welcomed. 

Warings: This is like previous high school student x teachers kinda sorta reader was 18 when that was happening tho no smut yet but will be implied in the future. Panic attacks, Axe’s body spray. That’s all i think but if you recognize anymore lemme know pls!! 

Word count: 1.5k 

Summary: You're in love with your high school English teacher Wanda but at graduation she’s like I love you too but we can’t so then five years pass and you see her at a cafe with another red headed woman.

They say high school is a time of self-discovery, forming relationships that could last a lifetime, and navigating the endless possibilities of first experiences. For you, high school was wrapped up in the lunches you shared with Mrs.Wanda Maximoff, your 

12th-grade English teacher.

The unusual friendship started with a shared love for classic literature and a mutual understanding of feeling out of place. Mrs. Maximoff had a way of making Shakespeare's complicated content relatable and understandable by intertwining them with life lessons that resonated with you. 

She was different from other teachers. She was patient, helped you with your homework when you couldn't understand the difference between dependent and independent clauses, listened more than she spoke. When she did speak, her words were thoughtful and impactful, often leaving you to think long and hard after class had ended.

Your lunch sessions together started by accident, really. 

On a particularly busy day, when the crowded hallways were more overwhelming than usual, your anxiety was on the brink of turning into a full-blown panic attack. You found refuge in her classroom. Mrs. Maximoff was there, her eyes scanning over a copy of Donna Tartt's "The Secret History." She looked up, saw your distressed state, and, without a word, brought you into her embrace. 

The smell of her expensive perfume didn't burn your nose like the smell of Bath and Body Works, Axe cologne, and body odor in the hallways usually did. 

She calms you down using the softest voice you've ever heard. 

"You're doing so well, darling. Now tell me, what are three things you can smell?" 

"Your perfume,"  you answered. The strong feminine scent overwhelmed your senses in the best way possible. 

"Oh yeah, it does smell pretty good, doesn't it? You're doing so well for me, sweet girl." 

When you were finally calm, she shared her lunch with you. While eating, we talked about everything but schoolwork, music, movies, and favorite books and authors. It was the first time you truly felt seen and heard. 

These lunches became a part of your routine. Every day, you'd sit in her classroom during lunch hour, the chaos of the school melting away as we engage ourselves in conversation about anything and everything. 

There was a silent agreement to keep these lunches between us, our little secret.  

However, as weeks turned into months, your feelings toward Mrs. Maximoff began to change. It was initially subtle, a flutter of the heart when she smiled, a longing to be near her more than our lunches and class time allowed. 

When you realized these feelings you panicked. You knew that they were wrong but just couldn't help yourself. The tabooness of a student having romantic feelings for their teacher was probably the most exciting part about it. 

You fought with your conscience on a daily basis, constantly reminding yourself of the boundaries that should not be crossed, the rules that you both would be breaking, and how she could lose her job. But your heart didn't care. You wanted her, and you were determined to figure out if she wanted you as well. 

As spring transitioned into summer, your feelings continued to grow. Graduation was approaching, and you had made up your mind to express the feelings you had for Mrs. Maximoff on that day.

Graduation day was filled with excitement as students threw their graduation caps and rushed to their loved ones with their diplomas, but you were only interested in finding Mrs. Maximoff. You spotted her talking with someone's parents among the crowd of excited students. You began making your way toward her. The closer you got to her, the more your eyes met. She stopped talking to the parents and turned all her attention to you. Mrs. Maximoff reached out her hands to hold yours while whispering in your ear, 

"I'm so proud of you."  

"Thank you, Wanda," you uttered softly, the sound of her name sweet on your lips. 

When you look back at her face, you see her nose scrunch up the way it always does when she's blushing.With your heart beating out of your chest, you thought now would be as good a time as ever to proclaim your love to her. 

"Hey, Wanda, I need to tell you something," she can tell in your tone of voice that it's serious."

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," she reassures you with a concerned look in her eyes.

"This year has been amazing, the best year in school I've ever had, and I have you to thank for it. I think about that day when you saved me from the hallways all the time, and it was the best day of my life because I met you. As I got to know you, you became more than my 12th-grade English teacher, more than Mrs. Maximoff. I got to know Wanda, and it has been my biggest joy. I guess what I'm trying to say is. I love you, Wanda Maximoff." 

You finish your declaration with tears in your eyes, but Wanda's devastating look turns tears of joy and relief into tears of sadness.

"I love you too," she whispered back, her voice carrying a mixture of sorrow, excitement, and apprehension. "But you're about to start a new chapter of your life. College is not just about studying; it's also about experiencing new things, and I don't want to be the thing holding you back from doing that. I'm ten years older than you. I've had my fun, and now it's time for you to have yours, but please know that I enjoyed our time together just as much, if not more, than you did. Maybe if the circumstances were different, then we could have made this work, but we're just in different places in our lives right now."

Your heart sank. 

Though you knew she was right, you didn't want to hear that. The logical part of you agreed with her, but your heart didn't care. You longed to be with her.

"Okay, um, thank you. Bye," you mumbled tearfully while walking away. You could hear her call out for you, but you didn't have it in you to turn back. Embarrassed and  heartbroken, you left the graduation stadium, ready to experience all the "new things." She said you would hopefully find it. 

That was five years ago. 

Now, at your college graduation with a Master's in library science. All the memories from high school just came flooding back into your mind. You never stopped thinking about Wanda after that day. Every time you would sit by yourself in the campus cafe, you would often think about all the lunches the two of you shared together. 

You had received an offer to work in your high school's library after college, which made you ecstatic. You've always loved your high school's library. It's the best one you've ever visited. 

However, you're concerned about whether Wanda still works there. In the past five years, you haven't tried to look for or talk to her at all. 

You rented an apartment that would be closer to the school when it started in August. You decided to stop at the coffee shop where you would get your hot pumpkin spice latte, even in the summer months. You remembered when you would occasionally bring Wanda one as well. 

When you walked in you heard the familiar bell that would ring anytime someone walked in or out. After you order your drink you settle at a table near the window loving the view it offers. As you take in the scenery you hear a familiar laugh. That couldn't possibly be- You thought as you turned around. 

Your eyes met a sight that took your breath away. 

There was Wanda looking as gorgeous as ever just like she was five years ago. Her hair color hadn't changed; it was the auburn color of red you adored, even her laughter that was echoing throughout the cafe was the same. Across from her sat another redheaded woman, their fingers laced together, sharing a moment of what looked to be pure love and happiness. 

The sight filled you with mixed emotions. You were happy that she was happy, but you couldn't help but feel envy bubbling up inside you. That should be me. 

As you stood up to leave not even caring about how sweet the pumpkin spice flavor on your tongue would be. You hear her laughter subsided. Wanda's gaze wandered and locked with yours. For a brief moment, time stood still, and memories rushed back. 

A smile, warm and understanding, on her lips as she gave a small wave. You go to wave back, but you're paralyzed. Unable to move or breathe. The only thing that brings you back is the sound of your name being called. “Y/n…Pumpkin spice latte hot?" The barista called out. 

"Y- yes, that's me." You replied quickly, grabbing your coffee and practically running out of there. 

You couldn't believe you just saw her again and in the midst of self-patronizing for not waving back and standing there like a deer in headlights. You had one thought. 

Who is that woman? 

♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎

Lemme know what you think!! and if you want more

[the-fiction-witch]

Breathless

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Flirty Af

Warning: Medical emergency / Asthma Attack

I woke, as I typically did with a sharp fast gasp. immediately I heard the wheeze in my chest like a pair of old moth-eaten bellows. I sighed and turned to my bedstand opening the little rosewood box and hearing the gentle tune of the music box inside plaid as soon as I opened it I grabbed one of the prerolled cigarettes shutting the box again and saw the candle on my bedside table still burning so I set the tip in the flame until it began to smoulder so I laid down on my back slowly but surely taking a deep inhale and blowing the resulting smoke across my ceiling. It fixed it as much as it ever did so I finished up and set the end in my little metal box with many others. 

"There's my sweet girl!" My father gleamed as he entered my bedroom with a wide smile 

"Good Morning Father," I smiled sitting up in my bed 

"It is a fantastic morning, A perfect morning for our party!" He cheered going to open my curtains to let in the sunshine 

I smiled as much as I could force, I knew this was important to him and I wanted only to be supportive. 

"I have a gift for you" He smiled tapping my nose playfully He clicked his fingers towards the door and the maid scurried in with a large box in hand, he took the box from her and set it on the bed opening the box up pulling out from the tissue and ribbon a sweet expensive new dress.

It was beautiful, A long off-the-shoulder dress of a sweet fabric a light pale pink with vertical strips of purple, and white lace at its hem, neckline and lace elbow-length sleeves with a black ribbon at its waist. It was utterly beautiful and would not have been cheap for my father to buy. but I began to panic as I looked at it seeing the ribbon and how small it was.  

I knew my father, he meant well but he always did this and always it made me fearful.

But I forced a smile "Thank you Father" I said giving his cheek a kiss 

"You're welcome, Now come along guests begin to arrive soon" He said rushing off to make preparations. 

I sighed climbing from my bed, I went and had a nice hot bath laying in the warm water for longer than I should just because it seemed to soothe my chest but I soon climbed out and went to my window in my towel looking out to the gardens.

My father was a very wealthy businessman in port with a lot of dealings coming and going in shipping, of course, our house was lustrous and grand second only to the governors only a few miles up the road, but the governor could not hold a candle to my father's gardens, well known in the area and beyond for the grandiose and beauty of the many exotic flowers and plants from all over the world, He took great pride in the garden and this combined with his utter love fort entertaining. Meant we had an awful lot of garden parties. 

Today was no exception my father was hosting a garden party and had invited everyone who could be imagined. He adored parties being an utter social butterfly, I however was more of an.... antisocial bookworm not much wanting to go but knowing word would spread if I didn't attend my father's own parties. It didn't much help my looming age knowing at the back of my mind certain men had been invited not due to my father really wanting them at the party but my father realizing they could be a good match for me so invited them in the hope one would catch my interest. But I know I am a very lucky girl, Many fathers would be insisting by now or would have wedded their daughter off for a business deal. But My father was a decent man and had always promised me I could choose my husband, that I could marry for love no matter who it would be. He felt he couldn't deny me what he and my mother had. 

I went to my mirror and began to dress, I pulled my white stockings up to my thighs adjusting them so the little lilac bows would sit forward, I pulled my long cotton underdress over my body tugging it down as far as it would go, by then my maid arrived and I gulped as she picked up my cream corset. I simply watched the mirror doing my best to not panic as she wrapped it around me and began to lace the back, I did my best to keep my breaths slow and steady but that wasn't exactly easy until finally she finished with the back, she pinned the ribbons in place and turned me to face her so she could pull the ribbons to the front to lace it again leaving me squeezed as much as possible 

"How much more?" I gasped already feeling breathless 

"Not much more Miss." she said "Pencil thin is the London style miss" She reassured

"I am not a pencil. I am a lady." I argued half of me was joking the other half was serious. 

Finally, she tied the last bow and removed the pin in the back as there was now no give in the ribbon at all, she took my crinoline the large wicker bird cage-looking thing that always made me smile a little tieing it simply around my waist and she helped me to slip on my dress, it was beautiful and I did feel very pretty even if again the lacing began as she all but sewed me into the dress ensuring it would be as close to me as possible. Not being helped by my father's purchase choices. 

"Alright miss?" she asked as she finished the last bow 

"Yes. Thank you" I lied, finally she helped me into my shoes and left to attend the party. "Women in London must have learnt not to need to breathe" I sighed I sat at my vanity and did what little make-up I bothered with before finally taking my hair from the tight braid I had done last night allowing it to now be in sweet curls. Once done I looked out to the window again seeing people had already gathered for the party so I grabbed my lace fan and my parasol and headed down to the gardens. 

"Ahhh My goodness an angel!" My father joked as he saw me "You look beautiful" He smiled 

"Thank you Father" I smiled 

"Go on then, Mingle I'll check in on you later," He told me ushering me deeper into the party, I did my rounds parasol in hand often batting my fan to try and get some air down my throat doing my best to greet and be pleasant with people. 

As I made the rounds I took note of those who were here already spotting a few men my father would have invited purely in the hopes of grabbing my attention but as I walked to a less populated area of the garden I took a seat for a moment on the stone bench I spotted a similar soul. 

He stood by one of the statues away from the main business of the party, dressed in his usual way but cleaned up a little better, he seemed awkward unsure why he was here, out of place in this bussle. I felt for him of course and for a moment even I wasn't sure why he was here. But then I recalled seeing Dr Sneed on my walk around the party and I know how my father thinks, my father would have invited Dr Sneed because he is his doctor and thus not inviting his own doctor to his party would be rude, and of course then in my fathers mind he must also invite Dr Dawkins for if he invited Sneed and Not Dawkins that too would have been rude. Honestly, I'm surprised he took up the invitation. For a moment we caught eyes and he offered me a small smile so I did my best to do so back. 

“You alright my sweet?’ my father asked as he approached sitting beside me

“Yes, just wanted a moment from all the excitement” I smiled

‘ahh well come along we are to begin the walk” he smiled to me taking my hand and soon enough the walk began, this was typical of every party my father would lead a walk around the gardens explaining almost every flower and plant giving a tour to the guests of course most ate it up but I slowly but surely slinked away until I was at the very back of the walk where I again found Dr Dawkins.

“Good day doctor”

“Good day miss y/l/n, does your father always do this?’

“Yes” I chuckled moving my parasol slightly higher as to protect him too

“AHH thank you” he smiled moving a little closer to be under the protection of the lace from the blistering sun

“Quite alright” I answered “what brings you to the party?”

“Your father invited me. Wasn't going to bother but something to do I suppose’ he chuckled

“I guess. I rather find it all tedious”

“well we agree on some things’ he chuckled “I have to admit though your dress is utterly stunning”

“Thank you doctor’ I blushed a little but had to fan myself quickly as I felt slightly breathless from the walking

“Ohh don't worry pleatenties of the party you can just call me jack” he smiled

“ohh that's very sweet, thank you jack’ I smiled “then y/n I insist”

“Why thank you, My god is he going to take us past every plant?” He whispered

“That he is” I smiled

“Any particular reason?’

‘its his pride. He adores his garden above all else?”

“Even you?’

“I don't know, I should hope not but I wouldn't be surprised’

“Why? Why would be focus so much on his garden and not his daughter?”

“He promised my other that her beloved garden would always bloom, she died only a few days later” I explained

“Ohh forgive me y/n I-”

“It's alright, he can be… overboard at times” I said doing my best to slow and catch my breath

“Are you alright?’ he asked

“Yes forgive me-”

“No no it's alright, are you sure? You seem lost for breath?’ he said carefully taking my arm

“I'm fine” I answered as I gasped trying hard not to wheeze or cry anything that might draw attention to myself he seemed panicked I tried again and gasp but it just wasn't working and I almost went over

“Whoa. I'm taking you inside’ he said quickly putting an arm around me and taking me quickly back to the house I dropped my parasol and fan as soon as I got in the door trying desperately to get my breath in “which way to your room?”

“This way” I gasped now beginning to cough and wheeze loudly taking his hand and leading him to my room as soon as I was inside I leant on my ottoman trying desperately to get some air into my lungs as he shut the door and came over

“Are you short of breath?”

“Yes” I gasped surely that was obvious

“try to breathe slow for me if you can” he asked and I did my best but that only made me wheeze louder

“Take off your dress.” He said

“I beg your pardon Dr Dawkins!’ I argued

“I need to examine you take off your dress” he said

“I cannot” I answered between gasps

“I'm a doctor I won't look y/n but I need to exmaine you” he said

“No I cannot. My maid she-”

“She's sewn you into the dress?” he asked and I nodded “alright” he said slipping off his jacket and grabbing a small knife from his pocket “I'll be as careful as I can” he said slowly using the blade to cut where my dress had been stitched by my maid until finally it released I quickly stepped away and pushed the dress off me as well as my crinoline immediately I felt a little better as I looked forward letting out slow breaths I caught sight of jack in my mirror he lied to me. He was looking. But I felt still so breathless that I tumbled onto my ottoman ‘whoa whoa! I got you. I got you.” He reassured only just catching me making me sit on the ottoman “I need to remove your corset”

“Doctor!”

“I have to remove it” he said coming to face me starting to unlace my corset ties quickly with his nimble fingers “out of curiosity. How'd your mother die?”

“Respiratory failure” I gasped and he looked up to me seeming panicked

“How old was she?”

“Twenty nine”

“Christ - for - god-” he grunted trying to deal with the knots and loops and ties in my corset until finally he unlaced the front and tried to pull it off but of course it didn't move he looked confused so I moved his hand to my back and he moved behind me seeing of course all the lacing on the back ‘oh you gotta be kidding me!’ he complained “they really didn't want you of this dress.’ he said fighting with the ties before “fuck it!’ he complained grabbing his knife again and cutting though the lacing managing to force the whole corset off me and that helped considerably “there we go.” He said a lift proud of himself “nice and slow let me listen” he said for a moment looking around the room clearly for something to use to listen but “I don't have my tools uhhh okay. Guess we have to do this the old fashioned way” he said sitting on the ottoman with me lifting my underdress up to expose my bare back I glanced in the mirror again and saw his cheeks slightly deeper with red his eyes glancing down from my neck all the way to the ottoman before he moved closer resting his head on my back to press his ear to my skin “nice and slow for me. Just breathe with me In. And out. In and back out” he said and I did my best to breath with him even if I ended up coughing and wheezing as he walked me through a few long breaths “how long have you been like this?” He asked as he pulled back moving so I could see his face letting go of my underdress

“Forever”

“I get the feeling you need to tell me something.” He said

“I'm asthmatic. Have been as long as I can remember.” I answered

“That certainly explains a lot” he said “when did a doctor tell you?”

“I was nine.”

“I take it your mother was too?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, how are you managing it? What do you have to take when you get like this?” He asked

“The box on my bedside table” I told him still struggling he got up and went to the box seeming confused

“What are these?”

“Asthma cigarettes. Prof prescribed them” I answered

“You smoke!’ he argued

“On doctors instructions yes.” I answered

“Are you mad!”

“There not tobacco there thorn apple leaves there meant to help” I said

He sighed begrudgingly bringing one over so I took it and lit it on a candle sitting for a few moments slowly inhaling it all

He brushed the smoke away from his face a moment before rather angrily speaking “he's mad.”

“It helps.”

“So would you sitting not moving for the ten minutes it took you to smoke that” he argued “but that dress wasn't helping in the slightest why on earth did they lace you in that corset so much?”

“It's the style apparently. Plus I needed to”

“Why?”

“...father buys all my dresses two sizes smaller then I am. I have to double lace the corset for a hope of even getting in them

“Why would he do that?”

“He means well. He thinks if he buys all my clothes too small it's… encouraging”

“Encouraging? I hate to ask but when did you last eat anything?”

“...four days ago.”

“Okay, that is also not going to be helping.” He said

“Yeah well you try fitting into a dress with a twenty one inch waist” I pouted

“I think he's trying to kill you.” He joked “you feel a bit better now?”

“Yes. Thank you jack”

“You're welcome. How often do you get attacks like that?”

“once a week or so.”

“Does your father know?”

“Somewhat. I don't always tell him the whole truth”

“Would you be against coming to the hospital?”

“What?”

“I am not confident about leaving you alone tonight. If you agree I'll talk to your father take you to the hospital I'll keep you under observation myself.”

“Why?”

“.... I fear this may be worse then just a simple attack y/n”

“I don't want to worry my father. he's fearful enough as it is”

“Then which would you rather? He be a little worried a stressed as you spend the night in hospital in my care or he comes in here and finds you dead in your bed tomorrow morning because I'm pretty sure which one will upset him more.”

“One night?”

“One night. Under observation.”

“Alright jack”

“Thank you y/n” he smiled giving my hand a kiss “just rest i'll go see your father” he said as he got up and headed out of my room.

Eventually he arrived with my father in tow and the two discussed as my maid packed me some items and my father called us a carriage, I changed into my loosest dress doing my best not to show my father my struggles

“Perhaps Dr sneed would be better he is my doctor he's taken such food care of me” he began

“Dr sneed is very busy he won't have time and what she needs is observations now I have the time to do so”

“Keep me posted won't you?”

“I promise.”

“You'll take care of her doctor?”

“Absolutely, I promise she'll be back right as rain”

“Alright, I'll see you soon sweetheart” he smiled kissing my head before he slowly and tenderly let my hand go giving it to jack, he smiled to me squeezing my hand and leading me slowly to the carriage luckily the party never even noticed but as i sat down my father pulled jack close to him. “Anything happens to her. It's your head.”

“Yes sir” he nodded before climbing into the carriage with me.

[samkerrworshipper]

hard times | awfc x reader

arsenal reader struggles with PTSD and new year’s eve is a particular struggle… but the arsenal girlies are there for her even if she doesn’t know she needs them

warnings: PTSD, anxiety, mentions of violence, mentions of guns, anxiety attacks, mentions of childhood trauma

You don’t even notice you’re shivering and tearing up under your duvet.

New Year's Eve for most people is a night of celebration, a night of partying, a night of celebrations. For you, not so much.

New year's eve ranks pretty high up on your least favourite days of the year.

Instead of being fun and full of celebrations it was a night of terror and fear.

That’s how you’d gotten under your duvet, the covers of your bed providing a very small shield from the outside world.

It wasn’t a good fix to stop the current downpour of sound around you, you’d tried it all, airpods, earplugs, music, none of it worked.

So you’d settled for clenching your palms down onto your ears, it wasn’t providing any reprieve from the noise cascading around you, but for whatever reason it felt necessary.

This wasn’t even the worst of it, you knew it was only so long until the fireworks started, and as soon as that happened it was almost a guarantee that you would be thrown into a whole different level of stress.

It had been this way since you were a kid, new years eve was a nuisance, a figment of your worst nightmares.

You wished you could go out and celebrate, that you could be normal and be happy.

But ever since your childhood, since it all happened, loud noises and bright flashing lights have always been a big struggle for you.

So, every year, you go through the same routine of hiding under your covers until it’s all over. Normally, the loud noises coming from London strike up a pretty serious anxiety attack, so you don’t bother with hurting your friends with your presence, knowing that all you will be is a burden for them on a night that is supposed to be fun.

It’s fine, you’re used to it, this year though it’s a little bit harder.

With your transfer to Arsenal in the previous January trade period you had quickly found a new family amongst the Gooners.

It was so hard for you to decline the invite to the celebrations for the evening, especially considering that almost every other holiday over the year had been spent with one or a couple of your teammates.

That was the hard part of being the only person left in your family, it was the reason for your stupid fear.

It all simmered down to one stupid night that wrecked your whole life.

Just as you had begun to become completely absorbed with the thoughts in the back of your mind, you were taken out of your trance by a quiet voice and the mattress you were sitting on flexing downwards.

“Hiya honey, you wanna come out for me?”

It’s Beth’s voice, sweet, kind, lovely Beth who definitely should not be in your apartment right now.

It makes you wonder if you are potentially dreaming, sometimes when you get really anxious delirium is a side effect.

“Beth?”

You reach down to pinch your thigh, hard, and it hurts, enough for you to be sure that you aren’t dreaming,

“Yeah hon, I’m right here.”

Her voice is enough for you to pull the covers over your head, the duvet falling into your criss crossed lap.

Beth is perched on the corner of your bed, a smile mixed with concern and care reflecting back towards you.

“What are you doing here?”

Your words are murmured, and spoken downwards towards your lap, because you can’t quite find it in you to look at your older teammate.

“It’s new years, silly, we couldn’t leave you out of the celebrations, the girls that are in town are in the kitchen.”

It’s said so nonchalantly, like this is some organised plan that has been set in stone for weeks, even though this is the first you’re hearing of it.

Suddenly, a firecracker or something goes off somewhere in the distance and your body is jolting on the bed, fresh tears accumulating in the corners of your eyes as your whole face pinches shut whilst the waves of memories wash over your body.

“I thought you guys said you were going to South Bank to do the fireworks and celebrations.”

South Bank isn’t far from your apartment, a couple of blocks south, unfortunately for you, most definitely close enough for the fireworks to be seen and heard.

“Who needs fireworks? We’d rather hang out here with you.”

It makes your jaw clench and your eyebrows furrow, they’ve cancelled their plans to come to your apartment and you aren’t completely sure why.

“Beth, why are you here?”

It’s blunt, but with everything happening and your body in survival mode you don’t have time to beat around the bush, especially with the ticking time bomb which is leading to midnight.

“Less told us that you really struggle with new years, so we’re here for you.”

You know that all of the girls on the team, whether they mention it or not, know about your past, about what happened when you were a child, what led to you moving in with Alessia when you were 14.

Unfortunately for you, she’s spending her break with her parents in New York, so your normal emotional support for nights like these was unable to make it here tonight.

Something doesn’t feel the same about having Beth, and whoever else she’d managed to congregate being here with you, especially when you were significantly vulnerable.

“Beth, I appreciate it, but I don’t want to worry you guys, head down to South Bank, just leave me be. Tonight’s pretty hard for me and I don’t feel like doing much.”

Beth scoots her body up closer to yours, close enough that she can lift her hand up and set it down on your thigh, it doesn’t go unnoticed the way you slightly flinch away from her, the jumpiness running rampant in your body due to the anxiety.

“We’re not going anywhere, we’ve got you, let us take care of you yeah, you don’t have to do anything, at all, just sit on the couch and relax.”

You want to fall directly into Beth, let her give you a big hug and never let go, but there is still a part of you trying to obtain your self dignity.

“Beth, you don’t understand, tonight's really hard for me, and I don’t want you guys to have to deal with it, it’s not exactly something I’m proud of.”

Beth’s hand moves from your thigh, upwards until it’s gently sitting on your jaw, angling your face upwards so you are looking at her.

“Let us be here for you, between myself, Vivi, Leah, Lia, Kim, Laura, Jen, Lotte I’m sure we can all figure out some way to make tonight a little bit easier for you. You don’t have to explain anything, you don’t have to talk about it, we’re just here to show you some love and help you however you need, celebrations be damned.”

It’s hard to refuse when Beth’s kind, concerned and caring eyes are reaching deep into your soul. Tonight is hard, for you it’s like walking up mount everest, and it’s not exactly like you want to break down in front of your teammates but Beth seems pretty persistent about the fact she isn’t leaving.

“After the break in, after my parents and brother were killed, any loud noises resembling guns make me have anxiety attacks, it’s why I don’t like new years.”

Beth just nods and smiles, accepting the information but deciding to let you do the explaining instead of asking questions.

“That’s understandable, anyone in your position would feel the same, I’m sure it must be pretty tough, especially considering that you are still young.”

You bit down on your tongue, nodding to Beth, it is really fucking hard, especially considering that you don’t have anyone to talk about it with, because how could anybody understand.

“It’s why I freaked out a few months ago when you guys were popping balloons after Leah’s birthday party, I can’t help it, it just sometimes comes over me and I can’t control it.”

Beth nods immediately, feeling the guilt roll into her stomach at the memory of her and Katie popping all of the balloons, Beth now recollecting how you left with Alessia almost as soon as it happened.

“Y’know after my mom died it took months for me to be able to go anywhere near a hospital, Viv had to drag me to the doctors for my yearly check up. It’s funny what grief does to us. You want to know what works best for me?”

Beth is trying to find common ground, praying that it’ll work and exceptionally glad when you give her a little nod with your chin.

“I try to distract myself, whether it’s getting Vivi to talk to me or playing a game or watching the telly, helps take my mind off things, how about we try that and see if it’ll work with you, yeah?”

The idea makes you feel a little bit funny, but you are brutally aware of the fact that Beth is trying really hard right now to help you and you really want to be good for her and show her that you can do that.

“Okay, but I need it to be quiet, please.”

Beth just smiles and nods, her layed back demeanour shining through as she stood up from the bed, extending her hand to you.

Your hand is shaking furiously, but you manage to extend it out towards her, letting her own hand steady your as she pulls you up off the bed and gently tugs you towards the door of your bedroom.

To your surprise, when you exit the room the kitchen and loungeroom of your apartment are fairly quiet.

Lia, Kim and Viv are busy in your kitchen, pouring and distributing drinks and plates of pizza. Leah, Laura and Lotte are seated on your couch, a board game of sorts set out on the table, Jen is also joined in on the game, except she’s sitting on the floor directly in front of the table.

Viv, Kim and Lia all send a big smile your way as you slowly enter the room, it’s a spectacle to you, watching the group happily enjoying themselves in your apartment on a night where they could be doing far more than just lazing around.

“Do you want to go sit down on the couch, I know for a fact Leah will be cheating, you could go keep an eye on her, or stay up here in the kitchen with us, it’s up to you.”

The couch sounded nice, and you were aware of the fact that your body was quite tired and worn down from all the stress of the night.

So you cautiously stepped over to the couch, as soon as Leah saw you walking towards her she opened her arms up big and wide for you.

You didn’t second guess it, practically throwing yourself into Leah comfy and warm embrace, her body acting as a cushion to you.

The joint pressure and warmth from the hug did wonders at lifting some of the pressure off of your chest.

“How ya feeling?”

Leah’s voice is soft, whispered directly in your ear so that nobody else hears it besides you.

“I’ve been better, but having you guys here is nice, you don’t know how much I appreciate it.”

Leah just smiled, taking a break from the monopoly game they were playing to look at you.

“It’s nothing, we’re here for you whenever you need us, just trying to make the night easier for you however we can.”

You nod gently, Leah’s arm wrapping around your torso to give you a big hug and essentially bond you to her side.

“The fireworks are the worst for me.”

Leah nods, her eyes are so understanding, there isn’t any form of humour or disgust in them, just pure interest.

“Just watch the game yeah, don’t think about the fireworks, I know it’s hard, but just try. We could put on a show for you, how about the new episode of Love Island?”

It’s a offer that you can’t decline, so Leah gets Jen to chuck her the remote, turning on the tv and flicking it directly onto your favourite show.

You relax into Leah, your body falling limp against her and using her as a pillow whilst you intently watch the tv.

It’s all going fine, or as fine as it can be until you can distantly hear a countdown coming from somewhere outside your apartment.

Almost immediately it sets off alarms inside your body, your legs and torso jolting up from the couch.

Just as you are about to rush off, most likely back under your covers or into your bathroom, Leah’s arms grab a tight hold of you, bringing you flush against her body. In a matter of seconds, Viv, Beth and Kim are all surrounding you, somehow sheltering you from the noise outside.

You feel like a feral dog, thrashing against Leah, trying to get away from her, from your teammates, from the world.

As soon as the noises hit your ears though, you stop moving, both of your palms crushing down against your ears to try and drown out the cracking and popping sounds booming from outside your window.

Leah holds you tight to her chest, even as you begin to sob and the panic begins to overtake your body, every time it happens you feel like you are going to die, like this time it’ll be the last and inevitably you know that your wrong, that unfortunately you will live to see out the next year, but it doesn’t make the whole process easy.

Suddenly your brain is crowded with thoughts, memories, sounds.

The sound of your front door being broken down, nobody hearing but yourself, giving you the opportunity to push yourself out of bed and into one of the cupboards in your wardrobe.

Then the sound of heavy feet, doors creaking, and heavy, thunderous, cacophonous gun shots.

No matter how many times you relive it, no matter how many years go by that sound will never disappear from your mind, it’s unforgettable and haunts every single one of your nightmares.

It’s all consuming, until somebody is taking a hold of your face, and staring at you directly in your eyes.

“Y/n, listen to me, you’re safe, we’re all here for you, we’re in your apartment, safe inside, nobody is here to hurt you or anybody else, you’re at home and it’s safe here.”

Kim’s captain's voice is both soothing and terrifying, the Scottish players' words are strong and coated in directness.

Once she notices that you are hearing her she continues.

“We’re here for you, we’re safe, breathe for me honey, deep breaths, you’re here, not out there, don’t worry about any of that, just look at me and breathe.”

You nod at Kim, even as the tears are streaming down your face and you are struggling to breathe, you listen to her.

“Good job, keep breathing, remember where you are, we’re all safe in here with you, nothing or nobody is going to hurt you, I swear.”

Kim’s words do wonders to help you, and with her assistance, as well as Leah’s strong hold, Laura’s hands gently massaging your scalp, Viv’s strong fingers drawing patterns all over your arms, Lotte gently rubbing the tensed up parts of your calves, Beth holding the parts of you Leah can’t and Lia and Jen both flanking kim, looking at you with the same care and concern as she is looking at you with.

It’s a team effort, but you feel completely enveloped by your teammates love and care as you come down from the panic.

“Doing so well for us y/n, it’s all over now, you;re safe, we’ve got you, we’re not going anywhere.”

You look out to the window, temporarily removing your eyes from Kim’s and realising that your captain is in fact correct, all the noises, lights and pain has stopped, the world is quiet and you couldn’t be more grateful for it.

Slowly, as you become more aware of the world and your surroundings, one by one each girl gently removes themselves from you, until you’re left with just Leah, Beth and Viv, the three stragglers who are tasked with getting some food and water into you before sending you off the bed.

It’s a easy enough job, you’re spent and pliant, so Viv force feeds to a slice of pizza whilst Beth forces you to choke down some kind of electrolyte drink.

Once the two are done doting, they both leave you with a kiss on the forehead and gentle words whispered into your ear about how proud they are of you.

Leah is the one tasked with getting you into bed, and she does just that, getting you tucked properly on the covers before giving you a goodnight forehead kiss.

It feels weird watching her walk towards the door, like your being deserted, and you’ve been needy enough as it is tonight but you can’t help but reach out to Leah.

“Stay till I fall asleep, if it’s no trouble?”

Leah just nods and smiles like you’re asking her for a piece of gum, the blonde moving onto the empty side of your bed and leaving her hand flat against your back.

“You’re no trouble at all honey, we’ve got you, any time but especially on these nights.”

[lazyneonrabbitt]

Here you will find the full list of my works for Daryl Dixon and other characters portrayed by Norman Reedus. [Main masterlist]

Requests are OPEN

⬇️ Masterlist under the cut! ⬇️ [My Ao3]

★ indicates smut, 18+ content.

Series

Paintings & Picture frames [Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7]

No apocalypse AU. Daryl and reader are studying at the same college and are assigned orientation project parters. [ONGOING, HIATUS]

Wings [Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6]

Judith plays matchmaker by stealing your jacket and making it match Daryl’s

Oneshots

Records of forgotten times

Digging through old music brings back sad memories, but also happy talks of the future.

Sinful ★

Father Daryl enjoys some private moments with the not-really nun.

Ruppel

You're chilling on the couch watching your favorite show. Daryl joins you because he wants to learn about your interests.

Shielded (Fantasy AU)

Everyone openly shows and uses their powers, except for Daryl. Until you get hurt.

Bad ideas ★

During a laundry round while home alone you find some ..'used' items of Daryl's to fuck yourself with and now have to work through the concequences.

Girlfriend [Pt.1] [Pt.2]

Daryl is in a sucky relationship but doesn't see it at first. Reader helps him see and later shows him how a good partnership works.

Hunters Ink

One tattoo leads to many more when you fall head over heels with the artist.

Creep (modern AU)

Finding an apartment in this new town was easy, but now you needed a job.

Daisy chains

Daryl gets separated after the prison attack. He comes across a home for him and his kid to hole up in. Your home.

Beef

Requested : "Could you do a Daryl x reader where at first he doesn’t like her, and she tries to get to know why hes so mean to her? Maybe he yells at her and then some comfort after?"

Rough times

Requested: Hi! Would you be willing to maybe do a one shot with Daryl x reader in a pre established relationship but the reader is pregnant with a child that doesn't belong to him and she isn't proud of? (non-con if you're comfortable with that) Some angst about the reader being worried he won't love her once he finds out 👀

The fun has just begun

Two men snatch you away for some fun. Before they even get anywhere you and Daryl have turned the tables and have some fun of your own. CW: Torture

Forest Guardian [pt.1] [pt.2]

You plan a week long vacation to a luxury cabin. Luxury is nowhere near what you find.

Not your usual undead Vamp!AU

Which undead do you choose? The ones outside, or the one in front of you?

Breakfast ★ Vamp!AU

Locked in a bathroom stall with a hungry vampire was not how you planned to spent your time hiding from a herd.

Drabbles

Period cramp relief

Photographer Daryl

Different kinds of sex w/ Daryl

You needed Daryl for something

"Hey buddy, what are you doing here?"

"Carol gave me some cookies to share!"

Rick and Daryl go out on a run

Old man Daryl

Showing Daryl how beautiful he is ★

Worshipping Daryl's worn body

Daryl read you like a book ★ Vamp!AU

🐺Were!Daryl 🦊Were!Reader

🐺Series🐺

Shared interests [Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] ★

Grimes!reader. Your father shares information about the man he considers his brother in support of your interests. Those interests take a different turn than he expected..

🐺Multichapters🐺

🐺Monsters among us [Pt.1] [Pt.2]

Your water breaks in the middle of nowhere but you find the prison in time for them to help you. There you meet the man of your nightmares. CW: childbirth

🐺🦊Feral for you [Pt.1] [Pt.2★]

Request. Daryl develops a crush on a soft and sweet lady, afraid to ask you out and ruin your sweetness, only to learn later on your have a feral side as well,

🐺Oneshots🐺

🐺 His girls (xOFCs)

Alexandria's new residents find a dog. And his very handsome owner.

🐺 Full moon meetings

You get stuck in the woods, surrounded by walkers and are saved by ..something.

🐺 Night shifts

During a night shift with Rick he sends you to investigate movement in the woods, knowing it would end with two of his group members coming home together.

🐺 Dog person ★

You’re Dog’s new favorite human and Daryl gets jealous. Lucky for him you’re also good with his dog-side.

🐺 Creature Feature ★

After overhearing your spilled dirty little secret of old world fantasies, Daryl suddenly feels like he does have a chance to get you into bed with him.

🐺 Unexpected

This can be read as a continuation of Dog Person. Reader is pregnant with Daryl’s pups and has to hide it from the community until they can leave for Daryl’s cabin. CW: childbirth

🐺 Roses for the ones left behind

Daryl gets taken and leaves a pregnant reader, not knowing her child and partner aren’t human. CW: childbirth

🐺 New comforts ★ alt. ending ★

No one needed to know that sex between the two of you was for human Daryl only. Alt.: Rick now knows.

🐺 Witch hunt

Thanks to an emotional slip-up you almost risk your home in Alexandria.

🐺 Arrows & Rags

You help a wounded creature who leads you back to its den, where you find the one person you thought you had lost in the walker attack.

🐺 Why didn't you tell me?

You follow Daryl into the woods on the one night he asked you to stay away.

🐺🦊 The softer the skin, the sharper the teeth

Request. WereDaryl and Glen find a she wolf (in human form) out and talk to her about coming to the prison. She and Daryl are mates

🐺 Shame

Your most private moments are shared with the intent to drive you away. And it amost worked.

🐺 Not a monster

Request. Beauty and the Beast inspired fic. Set during Alexandria times.

🐺 Domesticated

Request. Cuddling in bed, like mundane little moments in their relationship

🐺 Bath time

Daryl's distaste for showers rubbed off on his children.

🐺 Forbidden ★

Strickt parents and werewolves don't mix, so you run.

🐺🦊 Found

Daryl finds a young girl and takes her home. He adopts her and learns she's a wolf too.

🐺 Savior ★

You show a little too much interest in Negan's new prisoner so he uses you as a test subject. CW: Non-con, forced impreg

🐺 King of the cage

In the apocalypse, entertainment is hard to come by. Until you hear of underground groups fighting with anything nonhuman.. CW: Descriptive violence and murder.

🐺King and his Queen ★

[KING series pt.2] After Daryl's match he gets treated like royalty by his loving partner.

🐺 Instincts [Pt.1] [Pt.2]

Daryl finds a woman with her newborn pup, taking them into the group. Slowly their bond grows stronger.

🐺 Rules of Nature

Daryl gets hurt on a simple hunting trip and reader patches him up.

🐺 Get rid of it

You and Daryl never fought, until you did. Daryl relives old traumas while you stay at Hilltop.

🦊 The bridge home

Daryl has to introduce his exraordinary girlfriend by accident. (teeny bit of smut at the start)

🐺 Monster outside the walls

A warning about a monster outside of the Alexandrian walls takes a weird turn as new residents turn out to be trouble.

🐺 Demons are a girl's best friend ★

You hide from the rain in a church, not knowing a very interesting beast already claimed the place as his home.

🐺Drabbles🐺

🦊 Daryl was out on a hunt > Daryl liked being around her > Daryl has never been so proud

🐺 Daryl hated full moon these days.

🐺 You, Carol and Daryl go out on a run.

🐺 "Man, 's colder than a witch's tit."

🐺 You and Daryl had a great life.

🐺 Daryl came home early today.

🐺 Daryl saves you

🐺 You were all sitting around the bonfire

🐺 Daryl came home from a run. (xOFCs)

🐺 Cramps

The adventures of Daryl the werewolf and his witch girlfriend.

Inked Sigils. ★

Fate brought you together. Spells finally brought you family

Bored ★

You tagged along with your boyfriend who ‘just needed a minute’, but you were so bored..

Momma's boy ★

You find your boyfriend all alone and desperate in your apartment, so you help him out. Again.

Help wanted ★

Request "Fuck me if I’m wrong but scud just being pounced on by a desperate werewolf girl in heat would kinda be hot"

Warm & fuzzy

You just love him. It doesn’t matter what the others think

Much fun indeed ★

A summary of what being with the biker has thought you over time.

A biker's true loves ★

Request: can you do a story with funny sonny before his teeth got all messed up, younger and with female reader. super smutty. then maybe time jump and they are still together even after his looks have changed?

Coming soon??

Double Stuffed ★ Daryl/Scud/reader

It's your birthday so you get to have twice the fun!

[kaeyeahsworld]

A real pussy pleaser.

Synopsis:

Toji was out on business trip and you thought you could have a night for yourself. But things never go according to the plan do they?

Tags: toji fushiguro x female reader, smut, dirty talk, masturbation, body worship, mirror sex, suit kink, orgasm edging and denial, toji has a big dick lol, pet names (mama, baby, doll)

18+

Cross posted on Ao3

MDNI and do not interact if uncomfortable

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•••~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Being Toji’s woman was the sweetest torture.

There would be days when he would drill his cock into your sweet cunt for hours together, his kisses and actions making you see stars. 

But there were also days like these where all you had was an hour's worth of video call with him at the end of the day, with him being away on his business trip. 

It had been almost a week now and you had to survive only 2 more days before you would be back in Toji’s arms. 

But then again it was one of those nights. Fresh out of the shower, the music playing on the speaker in your shared room, is tender and sinful. The lights were soft golden and ambient and you were here smelling like petals on a calming summer night. 

Waking up late in the evening, the doom scroll session had somehow turned into a soft porn marathon. With a man like Toji around, porn was the farthest thing to get you going but today was different and you had the whole night to yourself anyway. 

Sexy kisses, lustful outfits, funny dialogue writings and concepts in some and no dialogues in others and all of them ending in delicious torment of the actress’s cunts either with filthy sloppy mouths or bliss-inducing vibrators. There was one video that caught your attention though, a simple one of a man eating his woman out, but the sultry build-up of the video, the man almost as big as yours’ and the unadulterated ecstasy on the woman’s face as he pulled one orgasm after another from her which had clenching your thighs together and almost giving into the temptation, but instead you decided against it and hopped into the shower to freshen yourself. 

It would be worth the wait once Toji’s back. Right? 

But as things never go according to plan, while cleaning the room you found an unwashed office shirt of Toji, large enough to engulf you comfortably

God you missed him so much. Could the trip get any longer?

His scent was a mixture of cool rich cologne and a hint of the day’s sweat, which didn’t help the ache between your legs. Slow warm and as wet as it could get.

Imagining him at work, his cute little furrowed eyebrows as he concentrates be it when prepping for a presentation, which was quite the same when pleasuring you out. His passionate green eyes that harbour a mischievous crinkle every time he unleashes an attack of kisses all over your face.

Just this one night you decide to take care of yourself.

Minutes later, here you were in front of the full-length mirror of your room admiring your figure donned with his shirt and only a wet, stained blue panty

Your own sight was enticing enough as you settled on the floor in front of the mirror, arching your back a little and putting out gorgeous tits on display.

The tips of your hair tickling your skin, the warmth spreading through your chest and tummy and your leaky aching cunt was too much to bear as dipped a finger into your panties

Gosh, you were so darn wet and this was the effect Toji had on you even if he was miles away.

Rubbing around the folds, in no hurry, you explored each sensitive little crevice with one hand and the other massaging softly over your nipple

“Ohhh- Toji…. I am so wet for you, mhhh-“You were as comfortably loud as you could be your finger now gliding over your clit, pinching it a little. As much you liked indulging in self-pleasure once in a while it was never enough.

It wasn’t Toji’s warm calloused hand teasing you like there’s no tomorrow. It wasn’t his long fingers pumping through your tight cunt just right.

“Tojiiiii….come backk… uhhmmp-“ you were so close to an orgasm, wet slick sounds echoing all about the room when-

“Missed me doll?”

An all too familiar deep voice.

Here was the man in question, in all his black suit, and grey tie glory leaning against the bedroom door watching you like a predator does its sweet prey

If you were an impatient one, Toji gave a tougher competition. Finishing up with his work as early as he could and skipping on the last two days of drinking fun with his office mates, Toji was on the earliest flight back.

What he was expecting was his girl to jump onto him and smother him with sweet kisses on opening the door but the site before him was well…

An even better surprise.

Hands deep in your panties, flushed skin covered by a dirty shirt he had left a week ago, eyes all glorious and teary-eyed.

“Toji! When did you come back.. I didn’t mean to-“Before you could even finish your sentence, Toji was kneeling and grabbing your chin

Slowly licking and nipping at your bottom lip, he whispered “Your pretty pussy couldn’t wait a week darling?”

“Hmmph!” His warm tongue was now sliding over yours, as you grabbed and pawed at his chest while his other hand was at your waist pulling you closer.

Knees buckling from the sheer dominance of the man, you couldn’t be more happy he was back. “Missed you so much…love, don’t leave me” you desperately whined out to him almost straddling him

“Leave you?” Toji chuckled handsomely “I ain’t going nowhere, mama. Even in another lifetime, I will find my way back to you”

As he shoved a finger into your panties, the wetness had him groaning into the kiss. He was sensuously pleasing the sensitive spot on your neck, biting it softly to leave a reddening hickey.

“Come on mama, I worked so hard on this trip. Put on a show and reward me” he said as he flipped you both around, your back to his chest and both of you facing the mirror. His hands parting your legs and with your glistening cunt on full display you couldn’t help but let out an embarrassing moan into Toji’s ear.

“But Toji… this is too..mm” You were blabbering shy mess out of nowhere and Toji was enjoying this.

“Show me your pretty cunt” he demanded as he put a hand over yours and guided you back to resume your ministrations. The pleasure was twofold now with Toji moaning darkly in your ear, his warm minty breath raising the hairs all over your body.

“Look at the sight of you. Such a gorgeous fucking thing you are eh? Those delicious tits and your glossy pouty lips, gosh wish I could have them around my cock all day, drooling all over it huh girl?”

His fingers had replaced yours now and with his middle and ring finger caressing your velvet walls, you were so close, rocking and thrusting your clit against the palm of his hand.

“I am so close Toji…. Uhhh! Fuckkk… right there!”

“How close baby?” Toji asked “A bit-..more” and just as you could feel the warmth in your tummy unravelling he pulled his fingers out

“What the fuck Toji?”

“Who said you could come tonight doll?” Toji replied, his gaze intoxicating in the mirror

This was going to be a long night and his reward was going to be your punishment. Albeit a sweet one

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~•••~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N : Expect a part 2 lol

I named this one after an edit audio

I tried editing it for the most part but its 2 am so ignore any typos pls

lemme know how you like it.

take care sweets

[zweiginator]

DESPERATELY NEED U TO ELBORATE ON THE PATRICK'S LITLLE SISTERS BABYSITTER OMFG

brrrrr patrick coming home from college and that's why you're home too. you just need some extra cash over break and the zweig's are so wealthy they're willing to pay you almost triple what you would usually get. so of course you'll watch their elementary-age daughter. she's sweet and easy to get along with and the zweigs give you extra money to go to movies or get takeout for dinner.

so you're sitting on the floor in the living room painting her nails when you almost have a heart attack because the door is flinging open and the zweigs aren't supposed to be back until morning.

you're ready to have her hide behind you when she starts beaming.

"patty!"

he sets his bags down and kneels down to hug her since her toes are freshly painted pink.

"who's this?" patrick smirks at you and you look up at him, still confused.

"my babysitter. mom and dad went out of town."

he reaches out to shake your hand. "hi babysitter. I'm patrick, the big brother."

and now it makes sense; you've heard the zweigs mention him every once in awhile. pictures of him when he was younger are scattered around the house but it's clear they haven't been updated in awhile because he looks different.

he's taller and more filled-out. stronger legs and arms and facial hair that peppers his jaw. in the family photos in the house he's much younger and much scrawnier with an awkward, sheepish smile.

but here, he towers above you and he's confident. he looks at you in a way his little sister wouldn't understand, but you can see his intentions clear as day.

"why are you here, patty?" his sister asks him.

he stares right at you. "just wanted to come back home for break."

"i thought you were going to visit artie at stanford?"

"nah. I'll see him soon enough."

the truth is, he shouldn't be home. he and his parents had had a falling out but he needs money and he knows they can't say no to their son's face. they're still pissed about him being caught with drugs in his college town. the charges were dropped but not without his father, a big attorney in town, talking them down. it wouldn't happen again.

and when you tuck his sister into bed, patrick is leaning against the door, watching you.

he asks if you want to hang out and being in the same house with him, you just opt to say yes.

so that's how you end up in the kitchen. you're sitting on the counter, and patrick reaches onto a top shelf to get some liquor out. his shirt rides up and you look away.

"wanna drink?" he unscrews the bottle.

"just one. i'm being paid to babysit, you know."

"as if my parents don't drink all fuckin' time. you're fine."

he pours you both a drink. makes you clink your glass with his.

the one drink turns into two and then you refuse another. patrick stops too. but the music he turned on is pretty and soft and he's just staring at you. you grip the edge of the counter hard because you're having an urge to do something bad. something you shouldn't do.

patrick steps closer, standing in between your legs. he sprawls his hand on the back of your head and you swallow, big eyes staring up at him. his thumb traces across your cheek and then presses against your bottom lip and you whimper.

and against your better judgment, you tug on the hem of his shirt. he's quick to pull it over his head.

his body is perfect and the vodka is warm in your system. it's making you sensitive to everything around you.

he pulls you into him, kissing you roughly, his hands snaking down your back to feel your ass and somehow your legs end up wrapped around him, your hand feeling his hardening cock through his jeans.

"i shouldn't do this." you unbuckle his belt.

"you shouldn't or you won't?" he hikes your dress up.

"i shouldn't."

"me neither."

he fucks you anyway.

[inuyassa]

HELLO!!! Can i make a Luffy x F!reader (not dating YET but mutual pining) request where the reader gets injured during a fight but hides it from the crew because the victory party started, (and because after everything Luffy has been through recently the reader doesn't want him to worry) BUT she goes down half way through the party?

What is Luffy's reaction??

Angst to comfort ig?? does that make sense???

THANK.

OMG YOU KNOW I LOVE ME SOME ANGST!!!!!!! I hope this is what you were thinking/hoping!!

Luffy x F!Reader

Request

Angst/Comfort

Warnings: Mentions of Death, Blood, and Implied Injury. Some mature language.

Wake Up...

She gripped the edge of the bathroom sink as she placed another round of antiseptic on the wound.  It was a fresh laceration, bright red and still bleeding.  She had only received it a day ago while the crew was ashore and attacked by a local gang.  The fight was short lived, but she still took quite a few hits, and when one came at her with a knife…

It would be so simple to just go to Chopper and ask to be patched up, but by the time everyone made their way back to the ship, the party was underway.  Drinks and food and music, complements of Zoro, Sanji, and Brook respectively.  It was one of the first times since reuniting that the crew was able to celebrate a win together.  Luffy was overjoyed, his smile was back after so much pain…how could she ruin that by making him worry?

After another painful round of wound cleaner, she made her way back onto the deck.  Brook was jamming away on his violin while Sanji pined after Robin and Nami with plates of sweets and mugs of tea.  Zoro laughed through a half drunk bottle of sake while Luffy devoured a full serving of meat on the bone. The sounds of laughter once again filled the deck of the Thousand Sunny.  She smiled, her eyes growing heavy.  She braced herself against the nearby pillar and tried to stop the world from spinning. 

“Hey kiddo, you doing okay?” Franky walked up beside her, he had been making his way to the spread of food when he saw her loose balance.  She looked up at him, his smile faded when he saw how pale she looked, her skin glistening with a thin layer of sweat.  “Woah, buddy, you don’t look too good,” he said, putting a large, strong hand on your shoulder.  “You need me to get Chopper?”

She grinned, feeling the world swallow her up.  “Hey, Franky,” she began.  “Don’t let me hit my head okay?” Her legs buckled beneath her and she fell.  Franky lunged forward to catch her, easing her onto the ground.  “Kid? Kid! Hey, we need help over here!”

Franky’s voice cut through the jovial music, causing Brook to freeze and the rest of the crew to look towards him.  When Luffy saw her on the ground, he rushed over, leaving his half eaten meat behind.  Chopper followed closely behind, grabbing his bag from off the bench.  The rest of the crew shot over, hovering as she lay in Franky’s arms.  Her breath was short and shaky, her brow furrowed in pain.  Luffy looked her over with panic, that’s when he noticed the blood soaking into her shirt.  She was hurt.  He faltered backwards several steps before he fell to his knees, his heart beating loud and fast in his ears, his eyes full of fear.  Zoro noticed his Captain and knelt down in front of him.  “Luffy, you’ve got to stay with us okay?”

“Blood…” Luffy said, his voice hoarse and soft.  “She’s bleeding…”

Zoro grabbed his shoulders.  He might be the future Pirate King, but right now, he was that same little kid who just lost his brother.  “Look at me Luffy,” Zoro said, his voice stern but comforting.  “This is not like then, this is now.  She’s going to be fine.  You won’t lose her, understand?”  That’s when Zoro noticed the tears welling up in Luffy’s eyes.  He stared blankly ahead, his face locked.  “Blood…” he breathed.  “So much blood…”

“We need to get her inside,” Chopper said.  “She’s responsive but in a lot of pain.”  Franky nodded and stood up, slowly cradling her tense body in his arms.  She let out a pained yell as he did, and Luffy’s breath caught in his throat.  He stood up, shoving Zoro out of the way and running towards her.  He was tackled by Usopp who pinned the manic Luffy down.  “Calm down Luffy,” he yelled.  “You won’t be any help to her the way you are now.”

Luffy clawed at the ground, his fists filling with grass and dirt, he yelled for Usopp to get off him.  “I’m your captain,” he screamed, his voice raw.  “You do as I say and get the hell off me!”

A large, leather clad shoe pinned Luffy’s head to the ground.  Sanji stood above him, his eyes filled with rage and worry.  “You need to calm down Luffy,” he sneered.  “This isn’t helping anyone, especially not her!” 

Luffy fought against the pressure, but with his arms bound by Usopp, he wasn’t going anywhere.  His breath became fast and heavy, his body slowly losing the will to fight them off anymore.  Hot tears streamed from his eyes and he sobbed.  He let our months of repressed worry and fear.  Pain he thought he was over all came rushing back into him like a flood he couldn’t control…

***

“You gave us all quite a scare,” Chopper lectured her as he changed her bandages.  It had been two days since she collapsed at the party, and in that short amount of time, Chopper’s treatment had all but healed her.  “You’ll have a nasty scar, but other than that, your wound looks really good!”

She smiled, caressing the small doctor’s cheek.  “Looks like I owe you my life yet again Doctor.” Chopper began to blush, assuring her that her compliments could not fool him, and that she was a liar.  She laughed.  “Is Luffy around?  I haven’t seen him since I woke up.”

Chopper paused.  “He hasn’t really talked much to anyone on board.  He just sits at the helm and looks out at the sea…we’re all sort of worried about him.”

She sighed, looking out the small window at the ocean.  In an attempt to save Luffy the pain of seeing her hurt, she ended up making the situation much worse…

*** 

Luffy sat cross-legged, letting the sea breeze run its invisible fingers through his hair, his hat dangling around his neck.  The sun was getting ready to set, that would mean three days since he last saw her…

”Is this seat taken?”  Luffy’s head shot around to see her standing behind him, a small blanket wrapped around her.  His heart dropped to his stomach.  She looked so tired…

She must have taken his silence as a response and lowered herself down next to him.  His eyes never left her, afraid that if he so much as blinked she would disappear forever. “You don’t need to blame yourself, you know,” she began.  “I hid it from everyone.  I didn’t want to make you worry.  I guess that plan sort of backfired though huh?”

Luffy still only stared at her…”You were bleeding,” he began.  “And then you collapsed…just like he did.”

She looked at him.  “Luffy…”

“I thought you weren’t going to wake up too…”

Before he could say anything else she threw her arms around him, pulling him into her arms.  Luffy held onto her tight, burrowing his face in between her neck and shoulder.  She felt his body shake with silent sobs.  “I’m right here,” she whispered.  “I’m right here.  I’m not going anywhere I promise…”

[pursuitseternal]

“Dark Kissing:” 🫦 nsfw, making a Vampire Bride in “Our Blood is Thicker:”

(Ascended) Astarion x Cordehlia (Tav) | E | 2.6K of the Nsfw Dark Kiss

Art by co-creator and illustrator @marimosalad , NSFW version on X

Summary: Cordehelia rouses herself to feed, but the Dark Kiss is far more dangerous than merely awakening. She must be checked, subdued, brought under control by her love and creator by any means necessary

CW: Rough Sex turns Romantic, blood kink, hair pulling, Feral Vampires getting freaky, The Knee™️, (lovingly) Dom!Ascended Astarion, my interpretation of Van Richten’s “Guide to Vampires” 2e, heartbeat kink, nothing like feral sex followed by soft cuddling aftercare

Previous Ch | ao3 Link | Masterlist

Chapter 19: Dark Kissing…

🫦💞🫦💞🫦💞🫦💞🫦💞🫦💞🫦💞🫦💞🫦

“Astarion…” she purred, voice thickened with his blood, a bit strange on her tongue, as if she savored every letter in his name.

But that strangeness hardly registered, his body winding tight with lust as he looked into her own crimson eyes, as her lips drank him down for the first time. He could feel himself inside her, coursing in her veins, pumping in her whole body, not just that sweet, slick channel he longed to fuck into once more. Something deep inside him unlocked, robust and powerful and all consuming.

Blood ran down her chin, a sight that made his every breath race from his slack-mouthed, fang-licking grin. Her lips were cool on his wrist, warming hotter the more of him she drank. “Oh, my love,” he groaned, slinking to straddle her prone body between his thighs. “I could watch you swallow me down for hours…”

“You have, my love,” she chuckled, thick and deep in her chest as she hardly broke from his flesh.

A flash filled his mind, stronger than their tadpoles, their bodies and minds and souls as one. It was as if he relived every time she had sucked his cock, tasting himself on her tongue, feeling the way her throat closed with all the cum he spewed countless times over countless years. Instantly, his cock strained again against his leathers, that claustrophobic feeling of clothing suffocating his ever-growing desire.

His need to have her.

And yet she drank more. Until his skin began to tear, his head growing slightly light. “Enough, Cordehlia,” he whispered, a grind of his hips above her, his wrist freeing from her mouth.

Only to be ripped back by her fiercely strong grip once more. “But you taste so good, my love,” she crooned, “and I am just so hungry.”

Astarion recalled all that reading, gritting his teeth as he pulled against her, fought against the way both her hands clawed into his arm. “You will listen to me,” he ordered. Louder. “You must stop, or else you will die.”

Her voice made him shiver, unnatural and dark. “I think that’s already happened, hasn’t it?” One last musical laugh from her bloodstained lips, and she sank her newborn fangs into his forearm to feed all the more.

A growl on his lips, Astarion dug deep into whatever new well of power, of strength lay inside him. Never mind the way his heart actually began to rap harder in his chest, in lust and in fear. “You will listen to me, Cordehlia,” he hissed through clenched fangs. Wrestling his arm from her mouth, he felt every muscle in her body move to attack, ready to spring. Wanting more. “Ah, ah,” he smiled, darkly, determinedly. Catching her hands, he pinned them over her head, staying them with all the strength he could find, even as she thrashed and kicked and snapped her teeth. “Little Raven, I promised you I would save you, now you have to trust me just a little further. You are still being remade, turning into something so beautiful, so fierce I can hardly believe it. Why don’t we try a little something else to busy your lips and tongue with, hmm?”

A roar from her mouth, she bucked him off, sending him clean off the bed. Astarion braced himself against the wall, feeling less dizzy and stronger the less she drank. Somehow, his body knew what to do, more than that which was just between lovers. He knew he had to subdue her, keep her safe, lest she endanger herself.

A duck of his head, and he dove out of her tackle. Wild and crazed with bloodlust, she might be, but all that grace was yet to come back to her. He gripped her by the back of her shirt, his fingers easily tearing through that linen, baring her even paler flesh for him to see at last. “Come on, Cordehlia,” he laughed as she turned, eyes narrowed and breasts heaving with her pants, “you used to put up a better fight as a girl.”

Yes…. She took the bait, racing for him blindly, only to be shoved from behind and laid flat out on the floor at the foot of the bed. She froze for that moment, wind knocked out of her, even though her undead lungs required none of that now. He needed to finish this, needed to subdue her in more than one way. His hands ran down her back, lightly tracing over the bumps of her spine. “I’m going to strip you, my darling, going to take your mind off that pit in your stomach. You hunger, and I can sense how painful it is, my love. Let me ease that pain.”

“Want me… to say please?” She panted, breathless as she gasped for air.

“If you’d like, my darling…” he wasted no second of his advantage, shimmying down her trousers, ripping them like paper with such ease in his new and powerful hands.

“Fuck you, Astarion,” she grunted trying to get up, but he just covered her backside with his whole body and grabbed for her hands again to capture them against the floor.

“That is the idea, my love,” he tried to chuckle, the same jibe as they had made many times before. But never like this. Never with every instinct in his ascendant brain screaming at him to claim her and finish the task at hand. He settled heavily on her back, pushing her as hard as he could into the ground to keep her steady, her two cold hands in one of his, he tugged off his shirt and freeded the laces of his breeches.

But for all the pounding drumming in his head that could have blinded him, he looked down at her. Pinned, subdued, ready and panting and sweating.

He didn’t see some creation half-made. Didn’t see a servant or slave for his use.

It was her, addled and unsure and newborn. Lusty and scared. And he tried to slow that reborn and foreign beating in his chest.

“Cordehlia,” he leaned forward, tracing the pad of his tongue up her chilled, pointed ear. “My sweet, I’ve got you.”

Still she fought, twitching and jerking under his hold, but his hands rested on each of hers to slide them next to that mess of fiery red hair. He could see her breathing so hard as her skin pulled between her ribs. She needed calming, claiming… he suckled on that cool right ear, forcing the urge to bite into her flesh again back into his stomach. Something inside her purred, her voice maybe, her soul perhaps. But whatever it was, he did it again. And again. Suckling on the edges of her ear as it twitched. Feeling her flesh mildly warm now with his blood flooding her and her lust taking command.

Her breathing grew softer, steadier and less frantic, he sensed her rising heat, smelled the way slick began to gather between her folds. His cock jolted to feel her begin to buck beneath him, almost grinding against the floor as her hunger traveled below her belly to simmer lower and stronger. Shifting carefully if quickly, his knees spread her wider, his sharp ears hearing her arousal dripping to the wood beneath them.

The way she raised her hips ever so slightly as he slipped between her thighs drew some kind of noise from his throat. Feral. Hungry. He loved it, laying his whole length down to cover her head to toe. Her skin was cold, a strange shiver raced down his spine as he pressed her into the floor. As he pushed her apart, letting his cock slip in so naturally, so slowly, finding that wet and tight warmth he craved more than air.

A low purr seemed to sound from her, her back arching against his chest. She hissed, a little roll of her hips, pleading for more of him. raising herself against him, she wriggled his cock deeper, bracing for his thrusts to begin. “Please, Astarion,” she breathed, voice honey-thick in her throat, “you wouldn’t leave your Bride unsatisfied, would you?”

Bride. At the word, he groaned loudly, fangs wet as he smiled, shoving his cock deeper inside as he buried his face into the crook of her neck. “Never, my darling,” he rasped. Another guttural noise, and he released one hand from hers, wrapping that length of bright fiery hair around his hand once… twice, and yanking her head back slightly. “You are mine forever now, my love until the stars fall down.”

Warm lips pressed against the cool ivory of her neck, careful to keep his teeth covered, lest he stir awake her bloodlust again. But Cordehlia wasted no time, slamming and wriggling her cunt against his cock, easing forward to easy back again.

A hiss rushed from his mouth against her skin each time she dared to move. Finally, he rocked into her ever so slightly, letting his cock sink all the way into her, letting that aching, pulsing head brush against that edge of her channel. Curling, she snapped her hips hard against him, stealing his breath.

Another snap, and he groaned, that insatiable hunger for her growing unbearable. That reality of his freedom, his power starting to course in his veins as she bucked back against him with even more fervor. “You’re an eager little thing,” he sighed, running his tongue over the scars on her neck, taking her ear into the warm, wet of his mouth once more. “I like you this eager,” whispering, he savored the way she shuddered beneath him.

“Then give me some of your own eagerness back, won’t you? I would hate to do all the work for you… my lord…”

Enough of coyness and carefulness he decided as he grasped her head, pulling her mouth to his to assume control. He needed her on his tongue again, needed to devour and consume and dance with her lips as they had a thousand times. “I love you,” his words breathed between her lips as he sucked more of her with each kiss. “I never want to do this with anyone but you ever again.”

A wish he had made once, so long ago under the elven forest and stars.

He could almost smell the woods near their homes, almost hear that babbling stream and feel the moss beneath them as every sinew sought the release they both craved. Thrust after thrust, he could feel her pressure rising, the way her thighs began to shake, her mouth panting and sighing heavily against his open lips. He could taste himself on her tongue yet, that rich iron, that tingling sensation of power, the same that raced down his nerves… and just like that, he knew she was about to seek more of him.

Drink more of him.

A yank of her hair in that fist, and he pulled her off his flesh just as her own razor-fangs snapped shut. “Tch, naughty, my bride,” he teased. A trail of caresses down her spine, and he raised himself. One hand rested on her shoulders, hair tugged just tight enough, he slipped his warming touch around her hips. Her clit was hard, aching and easy to find, and it was so simple to circle it. To make her moan for him, to raise her ass up just that little bit higher and take him all the deeper. To angle himself as he slammed into that spot inside that he knew better than she did herself.

He chewed into his own lip, clenching hard but not to draw blood. No, he needed her sated. Pleasured. Flooded with the bliss they shared now.

Lord and Bride.

Maker and beautiful creation.

Her pleasure tore into him, every muscle that clenched around him pounded as if his own. Her voice cried his name, that she loved him… her sweet words panted over and over again as she crumbled to the floor, boneless, bloodless, hot, and writhing.

Slowly, he pulled out, turning her on her back, longing more than anything to see her smile. Radiant, breathtaking, her breasts heaved as she caught her wind, her hair streaked over her damp and sweating face, and most beautifully, she smiled at him through her bliss. Her little fangs peeked beneath her rosy lips, her tongue wetting her mouth as she pulled those fiery, loose strands from her cheeks and chin.

Reverently, his own hands helped to clear her forehead, strand by precious strand. Laying his body atop hers, a groan slipped from his lips as she raised her hips to slot his cock back into her seeping, wet folds. He breathed her name, believing for the first time that she was with him again, saved.

Now made of one flesh.

Sharing one blood.

A blood that ran hot and thick forever between them.

He couldn’t hold her close enough, couldn’t thrust into her smoothly or deeply enough. He couldn’t taste enough of her on his tongue or feel her slightly chilled breath sweep into his own lung in any amount that would satisfy. His fingers gripped against the back of her head, weaving tightly again into that mess of her locks, the other wrapped firmly around her breast, the hard, cool nipple pressing into his palm like stone as he gripped it, as it swayed in time with his taking of her.

That tether between their bodies, that bond between their minds, something within them snapped taut, his heart beating in her chest, his very essence hers too. Every sensation between their bodies doubled, coursing harder as he drove her to the edge of her climax, thrown there himself as her side. She clawed at his back of ancient scars, body arching and trembling as she groaned her love for him again.

And this time, he followed, pouring every last bit of himself into her, making and remaking her anew. His cock shuddered, jolt after jolt of pleasure bursting from his core into hers. Seed seeped, hot and slick and mixed into one as he lowered himself into her arms.

Nestled into that bloodied crook of her neck, he could do nothing but breathe, forcing his eyes to remain open, to assure himself that this was it. That it was done.

That every little bit of trust she had put in him was replaced tenfold. And would be repaid again for the rest of their immortal lives.

Touch ghosting up and down his back, she smiled against his forehead, lips pressing their strange, cool kiss just beneath the edge of his curls. “I love you…” she whispered, almost imperceptible. Almost inside her own mind.

With a grunt of effort, he slipped from inside her, a tender kiss on her lips before he reached up and over the top of the bed to grab for the blood red covers. The heavy fabric fluttered as he draped it over them both, as his hands tucked it around her shoulders, her back. “I love you, my darling…” he kissed her cheek, “my consort…” he kissed her forehead before staring softly into those searching, crimson eyes, “…my bride.”

Astarion pulled her into his chest, rolling her to rest against his warm flesh and racing heart. “Rest, my love, we have eternity to make up for lost time now.”

His hands traced through the softness of the blanket, and his warmth seeped into her skin. She wouldn’t let it out from her lips just yet, how strange it was now to be the one corpse-cold, to be the lover to seek the warmth of her love. But as she nuzzled closer into that perfect dip in the muscles of his chest, she smiled.

A tear leaked from her eye.

To hear that ancient pattern of his heart beating beneath her ear again.

[cordeliawhohung]

oh em gee hiii! feel free to ignore but what about Simon comforting anxious!reader?

AHHHHHHHHH 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️

i started writing this with mafia!simon in mind because i'm an idiot but here you go lmao. reader has a small anxiety attack but simon comforts her and they share a sweet moment <3

sometimes you tried to be interesting.

you tried to dress nice and pretend to enjoy the liquor in your cup as if the music that pulsed around you wasn't overwhelming. you tried to smile gracefully as someone apologized for bumping into you the millionth time that night as if their touch didn't make your skin ache and crawl. pretended that you wanted to be there, in that crowd of sweaty bodies and bitter breath. with glassy eyes, you pressed the rim of your cup against your lips as you painfully laughed at someone's crude comment, because interesting people didn't cry at the drop of a hat.

that night you were the world's greatest actress, and most unfortunate fool. great in the fact that no one, not even your friend, noticed your discomfort, and a fool to think that you would be able to play the part forever. because you could push back that bile and patch up that corrosion all you wanted, you had done so your entire life anyway, but you knew full well that it would always break. something would have to give.

the floor disintegrated beneath your feet the moment you felt a hand on your shoulder, and you spilled your over priced drink on the floor trying to slap them away. several people shouted at you, mostly in good spirits, about the party foul you made as their feet crushed your plastic cup, but you didn't hear a word of it as your eyes landed on Simon. hand half wet with the alcohol you spilled on him, he looked at you with what you hoped was concern and not annoyance.

even among all those bodies, the flashing strobe lights, the haze of cigarettes and weed, he still found you. his eyes, so dark, so careful, always found you.

you forgot all about being interesting halfway up the stairs to the second floor. the only thing you could focus on was the pounding in your chest and the pit of dread eating you from the inside out while Simon pulled you along with him. eventually, everything became quiet. muffled like you had fallen under water, still there lurking above the surface waiting to be unleashed, but manageable.

"c'mon," Simon urged, guiding you further along.

it took you a moment to realize the two of you were in some private room, and even then it still didn't fully hit until you were sat on the couch and held in Simon's arms. he whispered quiet and kind words to you that you couldn't quite understand over the sound of your anxiety wreaking havoc in your rib cage, but the warm baritone of his tone was all you needed. so you focused on him and only him. the warmth of his body bleeding through his clothes and onto your cheek as you leaned against him. his hands running up and down your bare arms and sweltering skin. he calmed you with soft touches and the gentle reminder that you were okay.

"what's goin' on?"

there wasn't a reason for your turmoil. no simple explanation you could string together to get anyone to understand the thoughts raging in your mind. how were you supposed to tell someone you were born that way? with cracks and crevices in your brain full of nothing but darkness that no one could heal or kiss away? but his arms felt nice around you, and that was enough for now.

finally brave enough to pull your face off Simon's shoulder, you glanced around the room he took you to where you were fully able to realize just how alone the two of you were. there wasn't a single other soul with you, though you could see a long window on the other side of the room that showed the perfect view of the balconies on the other side of the second floor.

"can anyone see us?" you asked instead, unsure how to answer his question.

following your gaze, Simon's eyes landed on the windows on the other side of the room. "no, they're two way mirrors. we can see out, but no one can see in."

curious, you stood from the couch and approached the windows with Simon close behind you. there were plenty of people on the second floor balconies leaning against railings as they sipped away at their drinks blissfully unaware of your gaze. then you turned your attention to the bottom floor. it was difficult to believe you had been a part of that pulsing mass of flesh just minutes before where limbs waved and weaved haphazardly between one another. what had been something too large and terrifying had quickly turned into something mesmerizing, like watching fish dance.

"everything seems so small up here," you said in a near whisper.

Simon hummed. "puts things into perspective."

you fell quiet for a moment as you watched the ocean of people underneath you and listened to the muffled drone of the music like crashing waves. you hated places like that. never really felt like you fit in; never really felt like you were wanted there. there was no rhyme or reason behind it. it just was.

"i... i don't know why i feel like this," you admitted, eyes still focused out the window. "everyone else always seems to enjoy being here, but i feel so on edge i can't relax."

Simon didn't look at you when you spoke, but you saw him gently nod his head in your peripheral vision. "there's not a whole lot of reason for anything," he explained. "sometimes things find you whether you'd like them to or not. anxiety, frustration... love. part of the human experience."

you tore your eyes off of the scene below you at his words and when you turned your attention to Simon you realized he had already been looking at you. that twisting feeling in your stomach felt oddly similar to the dread that plagued you down on the dance floor with your friend. similar, but not quite. it was something sweeter than dread, though just as scary.

"c'mon," he said as he nodded towards the door. "let's get you home, yeah?"

"i don't want to be alone," you blurted. "but i... will you stay with me tonight? just for awhile?"

there was some hint of a smile that pulled at Simon's lips at your request. nothing nefarious, or even in enjoyment. it looked more akin to relief than anything else. no matter what it was, you liked the way it made you feel; that you knew for sure.

"'course. couldn't ever say no to you, sweetheart."

yeah idk what this turned out to be either. it sounded cuter in my head lmao

[paleprincessturtle]

Hey sweetie 🥰 would you also write smut ?

Thanks for the request! But in all honesty, this is the first time ever I attempted to write smut. Hopefully, it turned out to be good... Here goes!

Note: I have a few more requests but life has been so hectic, so please bear with me. I'll try to finish it ASAP. But if you wanna keep 'em coming, please do. Thanks!

Cold Tiles

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Female Character (she/her)

She connected her phone to the speaker and turned on some music. She untied her robe, and she let it fall off of her body as she walked toward the shower. She opened the glass door of the shower entrance and walked in. The water hit her bare body, and she groaned at the warmth of it. She grabbed some soap and slowly rubbed it on her body with a loofah. She rinsed herself off and began washing her hair with shampoo and then conditioner. Someone knocked on the glass door, and she jumped.

She quickly spun around, her eyes wide. But she soon relaxed when she realized it was only her husband. Harvey had a towel wrapped around his waist, and he dropped it, and underneath, he was very much naked. She bit her lips after seeing what had actually awakened. "May I join you? Or should I use the guest bathroom?" She quickly nodded, earning a smirk from Harvey. He opened the shower door, walked in, and stood behind her. "How was your day?" she whispered, rinsing the last trail of the conditioner out of her hair. "Stressful as always. You know, Louis pissed his pants, Jessica accidentally burned her office, Donna misplaced a meeting, and Mike turned himself in," Harvey said nonchalantly as she laughed. "But it's better now that I'm here with you," he now whispered. He always had a way with words, and Harvey Specter knew he just had to use that prowess. It was one of the reasons she fell for him.

"Oh yeah?" she asked while turning around, and the warm water hit her back. "How much better?" she whispered as she looked up into his brown eyes. She bit her lip and placed a hand on his chest. "A lot better," he said, his voice throaty. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed his hard member against her stomach. She stood on her toes and kissed him on the lips. He responded quickly and fought for dominance. "Baby, if we don't stop, I'm not going to be able to control myself," he mumbled against her lips. Her knees felt like jelly as he kissed down her neck. "Don't stop," she mumbled breathlessly. She moaned as his hands caressed her behind. "I love you so much, but please, fuck me," she said, almost begging. "I love you too, but I'm not going to fuck you," he said as he looked deep into her eyes. "I'm going to make love to you over and over and over and over again."

She was ready to come just by the throatiness of his voice and the sweet yet rough ways he said it. She closed her eyes and moaned. Oh my God, she thought. Harvey smirked at the effects he still had on her, even after all these years. Harvey quickly turned off the shower and turned back to her. "I'm going to make the whole building know my name." "Do it," she said, daringly. One thing you must know about Harvey Specter is that you shouldn't even dare him. His eyes narrowed as he wasted no time in pulling her close to him. She smashed her lips against him when he grabbed her behind to pick her up. He picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He pushed her back against the cold tile wall of the shower. She shivered but giggled not long after. She kissed him hungrily, and he kissed her back with even more intensity.

He detached his mouth from hers and pinned her arms above her head. Her legs tightened around his waist, and he pressed his dick against her entrance. She almost screamed out when Harvey captured her breast in his mouth. The cold sensation from the shower and his warm mouth were everything. He flicked his tongue and bit down slowly. She moaned at the all-but-new feeling. Her pussy tingled as he continued the attack on her breast. He moved on to another one and gave it the same attention. He removed his mouth from her breast and looked at her with lust clouding his eyes. He reached down toward his dick and placed it against her entrance. He lingered there. This fucker is teasing, she thought. "Don't tease m.." she said, stopping herself from saying anything further as he entered her roughly. She cried out in pleasure as he began thrusting. Her nails raked up and down his back, most likely leaving marks.

"Fuck," she bit her lip, feeling overwhelmed. "What was that about teasing?" he grunted out as he continued thrusting into her. "Shut up," she moaned. She grabbed his head and kissed him passionately. His mouth captured her moans, while her mouth captured his grunts.

His hands gripped her waist, making him slam into her even harder. Roughly. I bit his lip and pulled it. "You're so fucking hot." Her eyes fluttered close as the knot in her stomach began to tighten. "I'm going to cum, Harvey," she panted as Harvey slammed into her harder. "Come for me, love," he whispered as his thrusts became sloppy. She moaned out his name as she tightly squeezed her eyes shut. "Eyes open," Harvey commanded. She forced her eyes open as you looked deep into his eyes. "Harvey!" she cried out as a huge amount of pleasure ran through her body. He tightened his hold around her, holding her as she came. She collapsed against his chest. Her legs shook around him as she rode through her orgasm. Harvey stiffened not long after, his head buried in the crook of her neck. His thrust became even sloppier, and he slammed into her two more times, and he moaned in pleasure.

"I love you so fucking much, you gorgeous wife of mine," he whispered in her ear as he breathed heavily. He kissed her neck and held me against him. He slowly pulled out of her, and she groaned, feeling definitely sore. She laid her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes in peace. "Did I hurt you?" he asked worriedly. "I'm just sore, and no, you were great," I told him, looking into his eyes. He nodded with a smile, and I pecked his lips.

Harvey unwrapped her legs from around his waist and slowly placed her feet on the cold tile floor. Her legs wobbled, and she held onto his arms. She tried to take a step but whimpered at the soreness at the meeting of her thighs. She closed her eyes, and her nails dug into Harvey's arm. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "Let me run you a bath," Harvey offered as he picked her up, bridal style. She snuggled into his chest, enjoying the warmth his body radiated. She opened her eyes as he sat me down on the edge of the tub. Harvey turned on the water. "Harvey," I whispered, and he looked at me. "You don't have to apologize; being sore after amazing sex is totally normal." She told him as she caressed his face. He leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I know, I just don't like seeing you in pain, especially if I'm the one causing you pain. Besides I said, I'll make love to you." Harvey looked at her apologetically.

"I love you, so damn much."

"I love you even more than damn much."

She smiled at his answer. He kissed her on the lips and placed her in the tub. He sat behind her with his arms wrapped around her. She leaned into him and closed her eyes. Harvey attacked her face with light kisses, and she giggled. "Beautiful," he murmured.

MASTERLIST

[weasleykisses]

You’re So Pretty III (Remus x Reader)

A/n: Remus wants more than anything to kiss you, but he just cant. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but avoiding you is even worse. (Also, note that reader in this is shorter than Remus since he’s like 6’2 canonically. Im really sorry if you’re taller than him)

Word count: 6.2k

_______

Sirius had snatched her up from the couch and spun her around in so many circles she felt dizzy. The skirt to her dress swung back and forth. Music from the old, muggle record player rang out in the common room. Y/N couldn’t stop laughing. She moved so gleefully, barefooted on the carpet to keep her from falling over some clunky shoes.

James was dancing with Lily, and Y/N felt her chest inflate with a bit of pride. For James getting the girl he’s always been dreaming of, and for Lily finally facing her biggest fear of loving that mischievous boy.

She felt light as air. The spiked hot chocolate running through her veins, the smell of peppermint and pine needles in the air, and the flickering light from the fireplace behind her. She couldn’t remember the last time she laughed so hard, nor could she remember a time she felt this alive.

Remus sat on the couch, not a drop of liquor running through him. He preferred to stay sober anyway, just to make sure everyone made it out unharmed. He couldn’t help but stare at her though, Y/N L/N, with the most beautiful smile he’d ever laid eyes on. She was dancing with Sirius, as her friend twirled her around and dipped her backwards a bit, causing a squeal to leave her lips.

The two of them looked so incredibly happy to be with each other. Remus felt like he was intruding on their privacy just sitting there taking a peek. The way she smiled so brightly at Sirius, her cheeks flushed and her corners of her eyes crinkled from smiling so much. He could hear her laughter and the way she yelped and clung to him when he dipped her a bit too far back.

Remus was convinced that those two belonged together. They had such a strong friendship. It ruined his mood whenever he saw them so close with each other, not having come to terms with his eventual heartbreak no matter how hard he tried.

When Sirius let go so he could go pour himself another drink, Peter was quick to jump in his place, taking Y/N by the hands and dancing back and forth to the upbeat song. Peter was always quite shy around girls, but Y/N made him feel comfortable. She was just so soft and sweet, kind to a fault. Remus Lupin understood why everyone was so endeared by the girl.

Y/N didn’t mind his furry little problem. Despite all his fears and his doubts, she promised him time and time again that she didn’t mind that he was a werewolf. She would sit in the infirmary for hours just holding his hand and telling him jokes, trying to cheer him up the best she could given the circumstances.

Every time he looked at her, he felt a pang in his chest. Something so strong he thought he might be having a heart attack at times. She would gaze at him with that dreamy look in her eyes, and he would positively melt under her glance, under her smile. She was the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.

She was too good for him. Y/N was pure and innocent, never one to get in trouble or hurt anyone else. He was a monster, that much was clear enough. He could harm her if she ever found a way to interfere with his transformation. She might be okay with things now, but if they got any closer, there was a good chance he might chase her away. Still, it was tempting to stand up and wrap his arms around her to dance just like his friends did.

Yet, he wasn’t them. He wasn’t a harmless flirt like Sirius Black, nor was he a quidditch star and hopeless romantic like James Potter, he wasn’t even friendly like Peter Pettigrew. He was just himself, the guy who turned into a beast every full moon and injured himself horribly every time. He was the guy who had scars all over his body, certainly too ugly in comparison with her smooth, soft skin.

So he buried his nose further into the novel he was reading and tried not to think about her. He tried to tune out her contagious laughter, and the beat of the songs. Godric, he tried.

She clutched at Peter’s hands and swung her hips to the music. Even through her slightly tipsy haze, she could feel tension running off Remus into the common room. His hesitation was palpable. Quietly, she excused herself from her dance with the short blond boy, saying she was just gonna get another shot before returning.

She made her way to the coffee table in front of Remus’ seat on the couch. She poured a bit of hot cocoa into her mug and just enough fire whisky for a kick.

“Remus,” she hummed, taking a seat beside him. He shivered at the touch of her thigh flush against his. She was so warm. Her fingers tapped at the edge of his novel, urging for him to shut it.

“Y/N,” he replied, watching as she took a sip of her drink and sighed, feeling that familiar burn in her throat. “Taking a break for a minute?”

“I suppose, but I came over to see you. You don’t seem like you’re having a good time,” the girl told him softly, “Don’t you want to dance with us? Or at least with me?”

His heart skipped a beat at her question. Yes, he would very much want to dance with the girl of his dreams, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do so. He was just so afraid of messing up.

“I’m just people watching.”

“Oh, come on now. I promise I won’t laugh if you step on my feet,” she giggled, poking him gently in the side. “I’d love to get at least one dance in with each one of you. I’ve already danced with Sirius, Peter, and Jamie. You’re the final piece of the puzzle.”

“Sweetheart, try as you might, I’m not getting up to dance around, even if it is with you.” She felt her heart skip a beat at the nickname. Sure, everyone had names for her, but coming from the dirty blond felt so much more enchanting. She loved when he called her sweetheart, darling, or love. Maybe he used the same terms with other girls, she didn’t know, but she still felt special regardless.

She grabbed the book from out of his hands and stuck the bookmark in between the pages to save his spot. Quickly she took another sip from her mug before extending a hand to him. “Please. For me, Remus,” she asked.

His heart couldn’t say no, even if his brain was begging him to. He took her hand in his, which normally he wouldn’t think so much about, only now he felt like his skin was burning up.

He just liked her so much. He was completely, madly in love with her.

Marlene stood by the record player, looking through Lily’s collection of vinyls, finally deciding on one. Her eyes found their way up to Y/N, where she winked with a little smirk on her lips. The expression confused her for a moment until the record started playing a much slower song than the previous one.

That snake. The betrayal she felt from her friend was too real.

She turned to peer up at Remus, giving him an awkward grin. “We can wait until the next song if you like. This one is more up James and Lily’s alley,” she said nervously, trying not to make it weirder than it already was. Her hand had slipped from his to fiddle with her other hand, picking at her chipping nail polish.

He knew she was right. Maybe they should wait until the next peppy song. Only, he really didn’t want to. He wanted to pull her close to his chest, hold her hands, and twirl her around. Remus shook his head, taking her hand back in his.

Her heart was racing. He wanted to dance with her. Even if it was awfully romantic, he still wanted to. For a moment, she felt hope building up in her chest that this crush she had on him wasn’t unrequited after all. She still smothered down the thought however, considering it more of a fever dream than the truth.

She nodded, wrapping her arms around his neck, while his gentle hands sat on her waist. Everything around her was so overwhelming, the touch against her waist, her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, the feeling of Marlene and Dorcas staring from their place at the record player. Her eyes couldn’t meet his, instead peering down at her feet.

He took that opportunity to gaze at her; how bashful she was, the way her cheeks were flushed and her nervous smile, her gaze focused down on the floor no doubt because she was embarrassed.

How could she be so comfortable around Sirius for dozens of songs, yet so nervous when it came to a single dance with him? Did she not want to dance with him? Was he too close? He didn’t know what was going through her mind, but naturally his brain went to the worst case scenarios before the positive ones.

“Did you have a fun time tonight?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah. It’s been great. Wish you’d joined the festivities a little earlier though,” she commented, “I know you’re not shy.”

“I just liked seeing everyone happy together. That’s more than enough.”

She nodded, agreeing with him. He was also so observant, watching everyone while they fooled around. He never instigated pranks, but you could bet he was there watching from the side. He was always there trying to make things better for everyone. There were so many things to appreciate about him, like how he offered her chocolate when she was hurt, or when he would sit in the Astronomy tower with her when she was crying.

“I want to see you happy, too,” she told him. “You’re always looking out for everyone else, but what about you?”

“Just being with you is enough,” he confessed, but quickly corrected himself, feeling a bit too awkward with that answer, “With all of you guys, of course.”

If only he’d have kept the first statement, she thought. Of course she wasn’t special like that. She didn’t brighten his day, not like the others did. She was the least beautiful of all the girls, not the smartest either. Remus liked smart girls. Ones that would sit and read with him, study together, talk about random things for hours. She wasn’t that smart, not like the Ravenclaw girls.

Lily was still dancing with James as she peered behind Remus, and Sirius was trying to get Marlene to slow dance despite her opposition to the idea. Peter sat at the table drinking another cup of hot cocoa, but his eyes would trail up every now and then to his group of friends, noticing things about everyone. No doubt the boy noticed the way Remus was staring down at her with puppy love in his eyes, or the way she was now stumbling a bit on her feet as the nerves got to her.

It was wonderful, she thought, as his hands held onto her waist a little tighter, as if she was going to blow away in the wind. Everything was so perfect. The twinkling of the lights around the room, the wreaths with mistletoe hanging from them, the big Christmas tree towards the center of the room lit up with enchanted candles. The windows were frosted over from the snow that day, and she could see the individual snowflakes sparkling when the light hit them just right. It was beautiful.

Y/N was beautiful.

He wanted to kiss her. He never wanted to kiss anyone more than he did right then as the girl pressed her body closer to his so they were rocking back and forth. His heart beat against her ear that rested on his chest, and he prayed it wasn’t racing.

He reached down, tilting her chin up with one hand, the other still wrapped tightly around her. Finally, she had to gaze up at him instead of wandering the room.

It felt like he was going to kiss her. She couldn’t think of anything else. By Godric, she wanted to be kissed by him. It would complete what she already thought was a perfect night. To finally get a kiss from the boy she’d come to fancy far more than she should.

“Rem, what is it?” She whispered. He felt himself leaning closer, but paused before he could go any further.

He opened his mouth to say something, anything really. Yet, no words came out. He just stared at her e/c eyes for a moment before a wave of guilt washed over him.

He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t be holding her so close. He shouldn’t be falling in love with her. He didn’t deserve to. A monster, that’s all he was. A disgusting and dangerous beast. Even if she disagreed, it wasn’t fair to her. He hated that his friends helped him with his problem, and he hated even more the thought of Y/N getting swept up into it as well.

He dropped both his hands from her body and took a step back, his eyes now glued to the floor. “I don’t know what came over me, Y/N. I should go.”

As if she could keep him from leaving, the girl grabbed his hand. It broke her heart when he tore his hand from her grip, walking over to the table and grabbing his book for the night.

“Remus, I’m sorry. Whatever I did wrong, I’ll fix it. You don’t have to leave,” she tried to reason with him, practically begging for him not to go. She felt like she’d fucked everything up somehow, made him uncomfortable. She knew it was a wrong idea to dance to this song with him. To try and make something that was just friendly into something romantic.

He just sighed, shaking his head. “You didn’t do anything.”

She watched as he walked up the stairs to the dorm rooms, listening to the door shut and the handle click into place. Her shoulders slumped and she caught the eyes of Marlene and Dorcas by the record player, seeing their sympathetic expressions.

It was okay if Remus didn’t like her back. She wouldn’t have a problem with that. It just hurt to know he didn’t want to do something as simple as dance with her. It hurt to know that he grimaced when he looked down at her. That the sight of her made him want to run away.

She suddenly felt sick. With a thud, she plopped down on the couch beside Sirius and Peter, picking up her mug to take a long sip. “Mind pouring me another, Siri?” Y/N asked, holding out her cup to him.

“Y/N, Moony really didn’t mean anything by it. He’s just confused,” Sirius tried to reassure her, but she only shook her glass, waiting for her drink. At least she could get so drunk she forgot about everything that happened. The raven haired boy poured her another shot.

“It’s okay. I don’t even know why I’m disappointed. We’re only friends.”

Peter looked at Sirius knowingly. Everyone knew except for her and perhaps Remus, but he was good at picking up on things. She didn’t want to be friends, but she couldn’t just ask him out. It was too intimidating.

“Listen, you’re a great girl. Any guy would be lucky to have you, you know that, right?” Sirius asked her, and Peter was quick to nod in agreement.

“I don’t like Remus.” That was a blatant lie.

“Well, if you did, don’t give up on him. He’s rough around the edges, but he really is a good guy.”

She knew he was a good guy. That’s why she fell for him in the first place. He was so kind and charming. Remus was so smart too, leaving her swoon whenever he tutored her in something she struggled with.

She tried to hide her expression, looking off to the floor away from the boys. Tears threatened to fall from her eyes, and she bit her lip to hide her quickened breaths. It was always hard accepting the fact that Remus didn’t like her, not in the way she liked him.

“Oh no, angel, please don’t cry,” Sirius pleaded, noticing the way her eyes had begun glistening with fresh tears. He raised his hand, one lifting her head softly while the other ran a thumb across her cheeks, brushing away the droplets that fell. “I promise, it’s going to be okay.”

“Then why does he do that?” She asked, quite pathetically. She appreciated Sirius for talking to her about this, and chose to keep her secret safe and sound. “He leads me on and then runs away. Does he not realize what he’s doing?” She wiped the tears from her eyes but they were quick to gather again. Remus had to make everything so difficult sometimes.

She was so confused in how she felt. On one hand, she absolutely, without a doubt, loved Remus Lupin with all her heart. On the other hand, she felt like giving up. Time and time again he made her feel special, made her feel loved and cared for, only for him to correct himself. He would leave her standing there, crestfallen and thinking she had done something wrong.

A sob escaped her lips, and she was quick to latch onto Sirius. Her hands clutched at the back of his shirt while she pressed her face into his collar. She just cried while he brushed down her hair and rubbed her back comfortingly. She could count on the Black to be there whenever something happened between her and his best mate.

“Y/N, you’re a catch if I’ve ever seen one. Don’t let ol’ Moony bring you down,” Peter tried to soothe her, reaching up to place a hand on her knee.

“He doesn’t deserve you, angel,” Sirius muttered against her head.

Despite his soothing, she kept crying until she’d run out of tears for the night. She bid Sirius a goodnight before heading into her dorm. She curled tightly into a ball once in the comfort of her own bed. In her hands was Remus’ sweater, which she hugged to her chest. She was such a dumbass for getting attached to an emotionally unavailable boy.

The worst part is, no matter what he did, she still loved him.

____

“You absolute prat! You’ve got to stop fucking with her feelings,” Sirius scolded after entering their dorm room and shutting the door so anyone left lingering in the halls or the common room couldn’t eavesdrop. He glared at his friend who laid in his bed with a pillow covering his head.

“Leave me alone, Pads,” the boy groaned, refusing to move the pillow from his head, instead hugging it tighter to his face. A part of him wished he could smother himself and make all of this end.

Sirius rolled his eyes, walking over to his own bed and sitting back against the headboard while his feet stretched toward the end of the bed. He crossed his arms over his chest. “You didn’t have to make her cry.”

“She cried?”

“Yeah, not that you stuck around to see it. She thinks you hate her. That you’re disgusted by her,” Sirius told him with a scowl. He was awfully protective of the girl, finding her shyness adorable and her excitement for the little things in life to be admirable. It sucked seeing her chasing after someone and having her heart broken time and time again.

He’d never tell Remus that Y/N had a crush on him. That wasn’t his place. However, he wouldn’t let Remus get away with treating her like shit while they were “just friends”.

Remus sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, finally tearing the pillow off his face and letting it drop to the floor. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Maybe bloody kiss her when you’re clearly thinking about it. Ever thought of that?”

“And if she doesn’t like me? Then what?”

Remus was still convinced Y/N had a thing for Sirius. She was always smiling when she was with him. She let him flirt with her all he wanted and he noticed the way her face flushed when he was particularly bold. He noticed them hanging out when no one else was around. He noticed all of it, and it hung over him like a storm cloud. Genuinely, it made him feel so isolated. His best mate and the only girl he’d ever really cared for like this, together doing Godric knows what.

“Then you go back to being friends. Does she seem like the judgemental type?”

“No, but it would be awkward.”

“Only if you make it awkward.”

Remus sighed deeply, rolling over on his side to face his friend, his head propped up in his palm. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I can’t be with her.”

Sirius already knew all about what Remus was talking about. He had droned on about it before, how he was so afraid of him being a werewolf and being in a relationship with anyone, much less Y/N. “Don’t start with the self-deprecating shit, mate. You know she doesn’t care if you’re a werewolf or not.” It was a pretty lousy excuse if you asked him. “She loves you, Moony.”

“She does not love me,” Remus argued back, confident in his reply, more confident than he was in most anything in the world. She loves you, he wanted to say. The thought was headache inducing, making him sick to the stomach.

And that was the end of it. No matter what Sirius said, it all went right through Remus. He was determined to keep this girl at arms’ length, even if it tore him up inside to do so. She was just so lovely. She plagued his every waking thought when she was in the room, or even when someone simply mentioned her. Yet, she didn’t care for him that way. They just happened to be friends.

Not to mention the boy was far from blind when it came to love, like the ones he read about in his novels. The looks and touches he’d seen between Y/N and his friend were remarkably full of love and care, something she didn’t have with him. If only Sirius could see that, maybe then he could be the one to make her happy. Instead, he was here lecturing him on how to make Y/N happy. Perhaps if he wasn’t such a flirt, none of this would even be a problem.

He just groaned into his pillow and shut himself out from the world around him, no longer responding to what Sirius had to say to him. He was done. He was done with all this nonsense. All this romance bullshit, no matter how much it made his heart race or the gears turn in his mind. He was done.

______

Only, that was harder said than done when seeing her in person after that night.

She continued to be lovely, friendly, normal - only now he could sense the waves of sadness and discomfort that poured off her person when the group hung out together.

Her heart ached since Remus ran away from her. He had done similar before, but she always forgave him. He was complicated. He was secretive with his emotions. That was one of many things she’d come to respect about him after knowing him for so many years.

She cried that night, and when the other girls came to bed, they comforted her. She didn’t have to tell them what happened. They already knew. It seemed like everyone around her knew about her crush on him.

But life goes on, and she woke up the next morning to the rest of the girls getting ready for class. She pinched her cheeks to bring some life into them, and watched as her smile turned up in the mirror, making sure it was as genuine as it usually was. She was a strong girl, and one incredibly handsome and charming boy was not going to bring her crumbling down. She’d done enough crying.

Sitting next to Remus at the table was far from comfortable, but she was able to do it. She just leaned a little bit further into Sirius’ side than she normally would, something that made Remus feel more defeated than anything. He had given up on pursuing her, almost entirely, only the remnants of his heart still yearning for her. As he watched the way she cuddled up on him, it wasn’t hard to see she found comfort in the raven haired boy.

He could only sigh to himself, dipping his spoon into his porridge for another depressing bite.

She also talked a bit more with James than she ever would in one sitting, with the two of them having so little in common. She took the time to compliment all the girls on their hair and makeup that morning. She talked to Lily about their Potions class that afternoon, and the book she had propped up in front of her. Anything to keep herself from having to discuss with Remus what happened that night before. Anything to avoid talking to him in general, actually.

Breakfast went by slowly, as did their Transfiguration class where Y/N sat in her normal seat beside her friend, who she desperately wanted to be more-than-a-friend. She tried to think of a way she could find herself escaping this terribly unfortunate situation involving unrequited love. She could confess to the boy on the off chance he actually did reciprocate, but that seemed highly unlikely.

She could try and find someone else to fancy for the rest of their seventh year, but she doubted that would happen. He was just so perfect, no one else would compare. No one looked like him, nor did they sound like him or smell the same. There was no one as intelligent as him besides sweet Lily, and she certainly wasn’t going to fancy the red headed girl.

The only option seemed to be just living with her crush until it naturally went away. As miserable as that suggestion seemed, it was the most sound of all her ideas.

She found herself so distracted that she didn’t even notice when McGonagall called on her, “Miss L/N, please do answer the question.”

The seconds passed like minutes and she found her mouth growing dry from embarrassment. How could she be so careless? She almost never zoned out during class, much less found herself being challenged by a professor. She wasn’t lovestruck like James, was she?

Just as she was about to admit defeat, Remus tapped the edge of his notebook. Written down was the word, “avifors spell” which she quickly found herself repeating aloud.

“Thank you. Please pay attention, everyone.”

An exhale of relief left her lips, and she peered over at Remus with grateful eyes. She mouthed a ‘thank you’ and he just nodded with a small smile.

She tried to ignore how he made her feel the rest of their day together. When they studied in the library because it was a Thursday and they weren’t going to break their schedule, she tried smothering the butterflies that fluttered. She felt his soft gaze trained on her as she stared down at her homework. She tried her hardest to swallow her gasp when he leaned over her shoulder, his face dangerously close to hers, pointing out her mistakes on the worksheet. She desperately wished she could ignore the smell of parchment and chocolate wafting off his body as he spoke to her.

“Y/N? Are you alright?” he asked, breaking her from her daze. She nodded, quickly marking the paper where he had questioned one of her answers. “We can stop for the day, if you want-”

“You’re probably right. I feel like my brain is totally fried from all this studying,” she replied quickly, shutting her textbook and setting her quill on the table beside her worksheets. She was dying to finish up this study session so she could crawl back into her bed and pretend that she didn’t spend the first half of the day with her massive crush who definitely didn’t like her back.

He furrowed a brow, having thought the day’s session had gone by quite fast. He didn’t like it. Usually she sat with him for a good hour or two just discussing the day, talking about books and gossip and whatever else she had on her mind. Instead, it seemed she was running away from him. He should have expected that though, knowing what he had done the night before.

Regardless, he packed up his belongings right alongside her, making sure the last of his inkwells was thoughtfully tucked away before motioning for her to follow him out into the hallways. With a ducked head, she followed him, not wanting to seem weird going her own way when they normally would walk back to the common room together. She tried to ignore the shivers that went down her spine when their fingers skimmed against each other walking side by side.

If she were brave, or maybe stupid, she would have reached out to hold his hand. She itched to touch him. To feel him pressed against her again like the night before when they danced together. God, she just wanted to hold his hand. It wasn’t crude or vulgar at all, but she felt so inappropriate - so wrong for wanting him when he clearly wasn’t interested in her.

Perhaps he could sense her trepidation, or maybe she was just very obvious in how uncomfortable she felt, but he cautiously approached the topic, “Darling?” he asked quietly, with all the sincerity and care he normally displayed.

She couldn’t deny the skip of her heart at the sweet nickname, one of many that he used for her. Whether she was his dove, love, or darling, it made her heart jump. “Yes, Remus?” she replied, stopping and turning to look back at him, craning her neck up to meet his eyes, his gorgeous eyes that caught the sunlight coming in from the windows, honey brown and golden.

“I can tell something is wrong,” he started, rubbing the back of his neck and fluffing up his hair nervously.

“Really, it’s okay-”

“No, it’s really not,” he said firmly, Sirius’ lecture from the night before running through his mind. He thought of her crying when he ran off to his dormitory, feeling like shit after being abandoned like that. He thought of her that morning at breakfast doing her best to ignore him, biting her lip to keep the frown from reaching her lips. He continued, “I’m so stupid. It wasn’t my intention to make you feel unwanted.”

Unexpectedly, Remus reached out, taking one of her delicate hands in his own, running a thumb along her knuckles. She stood there as calmly as she could, but her heart was beating a mile a minute and she prayed to Godric that he couldn’t tell from her expression. He was too busy worrying about his own racing heart and sudden dry mouth to notice anyway. “I was scared.”

She asked, so quiet it was a wonder he even heard her, “Scared of what?”

He took a deep breath before explaining himself, drawing her towards the corner of the corridor, away from prying eyes. She felt herself grow even more flushed, knowing they were tucked in this secluded little corner while he held her hand so carefully in his own. She had that familiar feeling creep up and sink its fangs into her, daring her to act on thoughts she shouldn’t be having. Thoughts that entailed reaching up on her tiptoes and pressing a kiss to his lips, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. Thoughts of grabbing his cheeks in her hands and pulling him down to meet her halfway.

The heavy grandfather clock at the end of the hall ticked as time slowly passed, and she waited with baited breath for him to reply.

“Scared of how much you mean to me. You’re my best friend, Y/N. I know you’re a smart girl, and you’re incredibly brave, but you know I have my problems…” he tried to say.

“Remus! Shush. You know that means nothing to me. You’ll always be my best friend no matter what.”

“Which is exactly why you’re blind to the reality that I am dangerous, and I don’t want you getting into harm’s way,” he argued back as she stared at him, her eyes glazed over with something he didn’t quite recognize. “I’m worried about you. I care about you so fucking much, Y/N.”

“But-”

“But, the more time you spend with me, the closer you get to seeing the worst parts of me. That’s what I’m scared of.” He paused, his chest lifting heavily and falling back down. “I need you to understand that. I-I need you, and I can’t keep you if I scare you away.” His words shook, and she felt his hands begin to shake as they held onto her own. She clutched him a bit tighter, trying to calm him down.

She swore her heart nearly stopped beating in her chest at his words, those desperate words that fell from his lips. It was almost like he was telling her he loved her. Almost.

But they were only best friends. He’d made that clear.

“I care about you, too, Remus. I’ll do whatever is best for you. That’s what I want.”

“What’s best for me is that you’re happy and safe.”

She flushed at his words, finding herself growing hot in the face and lowering her head to hide her flustered expression. He had such a way with words, one that made her positively swoon. How did he not notice? He was awfully charming and romantic for someone who seemingly refused to even try and date.

The words hung off his lips, waiting to fall out in the open after all this time. I love you, he wanted to say. I love you so fucking much it hurts, he wanted to cry. Yet, he couldn’t do it.

He peered over her shoulder at the walkway, catching sight of James and Sirius walking down the corridor towards them. He motioned in their direction, and quickly he dropped her hand, taking a modest step away from her. With confusion and hurt in her eyes, she looked back to him as the blood drained from her cheeks. Was he embarrassed to be close to her around his guy friends? Was holding her hand that serious of a crime that it warranted such abruptness?

Much to her displeasure, she was caught off guard when Remus seemingly bumped her in Sirius’ direction, actually causing her to stumble into the dark-haired boy and latch onto his arms to steady herself.

She turned back to peer at him, questioning what he was doing, only to find his eyes glued elsewhere. He stared at the broom that James held in his hands, the one he was excitedly talking about. His eyes were clearly just there so he could avoid her gaze, one that flashed with heartache. That boy sure had a way with breaking hearts, she thought, feeling herself beginning to fall limp against her other friend.

“Why hello, angel,” Sirius laughed, helping her regain her footing. The laughter from his mouth, however, was awkward, and his eyes flashed nervously between Remus and Y/N as they had come to do so often recently. He sensed the tension, and he noticed the sadness that plagued Y/N like a rain cloud perpetually above her head. “Not interrupting, are we?” he asked cautiously.

“No, we were just talking.” But he knew that was a lie. James seemed to be the only one oblivious to the situation at hand. She frowned, her eyes leaving Remus and lifting to find those of her concerned friend. “Hey, Sirius, James.”

“Hey, guys. We were just heading to the dining hall for lunch. You coming with?”

“Sure,” Y/N said, but Remus had other plans.

“Actually, I have somewhere I’ve got to be. I’ll see you at dinner though,” Remus said, waving to his friends as he took a few steps backward. The three of them watched him go, and when he finally turned the corner, Y/N let her shoulders drop heavily, a sigh leaving her lips. So much for the little moment they were having before.

He certainly had a habit of running away when she needed him there the most, didn’t he?

Part Four is out. (Honestly, as I write this I’m finding myself rooting for Sirius a bit ngl. Should I do two endings, one for Sirius and one for Remus perhaps?)

[elliezlils11utt]

I have no idea if this is how you send requests but could you write bsf ellie and reader getting high or drunk and ellie who's had a crush on the reader for ages is too drunk to control herself and she just starts rubbing the readers thigh which leads too..yknow stuff please.

Or she's just generally touching her up

‘WHAT DOES THIS MAKE US’ (e.w)

a/n: took a little creative liberty with this one. mb love.

warnings: both of yall r high asf, toxic!ellie at the end maybe? (not really), thigh riding, bsf!ellie, inexperienced!reader sorta, pet names (mama, sweets, ma, pretty girl)

ellie gets like this sometimes. after a good smoke sesh she js starts getting really fucking clingy and needy. she starts saying shit you know she wouldn’t say if she was sober. (not that your complaining) she’ll start complimenting you randomly. her fuzzy head js thinking about you and your ‘pretty smile’. now as much as you loved to hear her raspy voice tell you how beautiful you are and how she thinks your body is perfect, you know she’s not in her right mind. so u normally js giggle and play it off like a joke. this time though it was a lil different. you suggested you do a couple shots too. you two sit on her little couch. music lowly playing in the background, you take another hit of the blunt. feeling the burn follow through your lungs you exhale the smoke and pass it. a lazy smile on els face as you turn to her. ‘whatca smilin ‘bout over there els?’you question, handing her the weed. she takes a deep hit. you watch as her body expands with her breath. she blows the smoke from her lips she shakes her head lightly.

‘thinkin bout how pretty u r.’ she says so causally. fuck. the way she drags her vowels out when she’s high drives you fucking insane. your face flushes. a little giggle slipping.

‘yah? that how u feel els?’

‘mhm’ she hums. her eyes flow over every feature on ur face. lingering over your lips a little longer then they should. her eyes finally meet your own. your pondering expression causing her to raise a brow.

‘hm?’ she questions as you examine her. you take a moment.

‘what are you doing ellie? do u like me?‘

‘do I like you?’ she pauses. almost sounding completely offended you would even question her on that. ‘c’mer pretty girl’ she puts out the blunt & opens her arms. welcoming you to sit on her. and you do, you crawl over and plop yourself right on her lap. your legs stratilng her own. your hands placed on her chest. she peers into your eyes, looking through her lashes. a lazy smile on her face.

‘better?’ you whisper.

‘mhm. a lot better.’ her hands snake up your waist. slipping under your shirt her cold hands press against the plush of your warm hips. your skin kissed by her touch. she gently scratches at your back. her nails dragging circles up and down ur back. her fingers slip under the strap of your bra. playing with the lacy hem. ‘els your my best friend.’ you protest. not wanting to ruin the friendship you’ve built with Ellie.

‘so..?’ she replies. she undoes ur bra as she speaks.

‘fuck.’ you breath out. you place kisses down her throat. attacking her neck with love bites.

‘let’s get this off yah?’

she pulls your shirt over your head discarding it to be found at an later date (you will be searching for that shit for the next week and a half😭) your bra falls with it. her hands immediately find your tits. groping the fat of your boobs. your head falls back, a moan slipping past your lips. her hands snake back down your waist and she shifts you to the side. placing you on her thigh. your legs placed on either side of the muscle of her leg.

‘go on baby’ she coos.

‘what do you mean els?’

‘oh sweet girl, here lemme show you.’

she starts to slowly rock you back on forth on her. your clothed cunt rubbing against the soft of her thigh. you muffle the whimpers and whines by biting your bottom lip. you catch a hint and ride her. her red hooded eyes watching you closely.

‘that’s it mama. doin s’good f’me sweets’

‘oh god~’ you had never felt this good. this fuzzy feeling had formed in your stomach. like a knot begging to be untied. she pulls you farther up her thigh so your knee is pressed up her pussy. the uncomfortable wetness in her boxers becoming unbearable.

‘you close baby?’ your head bobbles fast. unable to answer her with words. ‘go on ma’, you can cum’

you thrust into her. the knot bursts. you spazz out following your high. mumbles of ‘thank yous’ fall outa ur mouth.

‘there we go, so pretty’ she coos as you fall onto her chest. your breath heaving and you pant into her. a goofy grin stuck to your cheeks.

‘how was that? still think i don’t like you?’ she says sarcastically, tracing circles into your sticky skin. your shirt and bra still gone.

‘that was fucking amazing ellie.’ you look up at her, staring into her eyes. she places a soft kiss onto your lips. your head falls back into the crook of her neck. you stay like this for a while. content with where you are. it feels safe.

‘what does this make us ellie?’

‘we can talk about it in the morning y/n, get some rest’

a/n: i apologize this is so shit

[milla984]

It's the Great Pumpkin, Spencer Reid

Summary: Spencer and Reader get to spend some quality time together on Halloween

Pairing: virgin!Spencer Reid x fem!reader, virgin!Spencer Reid x plus size Reader

Category: smut (NSFW, 18+, MDNI)

TW/CW: heavy kissing, handjob, fingering, brief mention of an anxiety attack, body image insecurities (both parts)

Word Count: 5.4k

This work is part of the series Spencer Reid, my beloved

“I am officially traumatized,” Penelope blurted out when the end credits rolled on the screen, “remind me to never watch another Halloween movie with you, guys!!”

You could almost hear Spencer squeak in disbelief. “What?! This is a classic!”

She stood up to adjust her skirt, the one with jack-o’-lanterns and spiderwebs arranged in a casual pattern all over the dark fabric, and the bats standing on top of her fuzzy headband wiggled in different directions. 

“Uh–uh, La Dolce Vita is a classic. This is what goes on in the twisted mind of someone who desperately needed a hug and a large cup of hot cocoa with a ton of whipped cream and sprinkles as a child.”

You smiled as you finished loading the dishwasher, amused by the discussion unfolding in your living room; in your heart you were the greatest admirer of Spencer’s ability to conjure up any kind of random information on the spot but the exact moment you saw him open his mouth you knew he was about to make the situation worse.

“In fact, Barker’s grandmother had a fascination with the macabre. She would often tell gruesome stories which she presented as true tales so he grew up with the fear of being murdered in his own house.” 

Garcia gawked and raised a hand in his direction, simultaneously turning your way. “See?! Forgive me if I don’t think that having my entire body ripped apart by giant hooks is the ultimate frontier of pleasure!”

“And I’ll never look at a puzzle box the same way! What if it’s a brain teaser from Hell and there’s one of those chattering monsters inside?” she added and you had to hold back your laughter because Spencer’s perplexed frown was probably one of the cutest and funniest things in the whole world.

The mustache glued to his upper lip and the cravat he wore over a white shirt and black vest were only adding to it so you forced yourself to remain serious. “I’m sorry… pizza and a movie from my dvd collection were all I had to offer on such short notice,” you said, to which she replied by shaking her long, wavy hair.

“Oh no, sweet pea! You did great, I’m just too attached to the illusion that life is a rainbow to be into the traditional Halloween gore,” she sighed and wrapped herself in a colorful poncho. “Hey, Raven Man! Ready to leave?”

Spencer squirmed: an IQ of 187 and still he was unable to come up with a semi-plausible lie when it came to hiding the truth from his friends. Feeling the weight of her curious stare he swallowed nervously.

“I was kind of considering the possibility of going to the midnight screening of Nosferatu, at the Silver Theatre. It’s the 100th anniversary so the Silent Orchestra will play the entire score live, have you ever heard of them? They use contemporary musical idioms to convey the art of pre-talkies films to modern audiences, they’ve been widely acclaimed for their work.”

Penelope raised an eyebrow. “Midnight screening, huh?! Which means you don’t need a ride home… what a coincidence,” she teased, leaning forward to squeeze you in a passionate hug. “I knew it! I saw it the minute I walked in!”

This time was your turn to shrug with a puzzled expression: Reid and Garcia should have been on the opposite side of D.C. for a relaxed dinner at the Morgans’ after a thorough raid of all the neighborhood porches. However, Derek had called just as they were getting in the car to inform them that Hank got unexpectedly sick and forty-five minutes later All Hallows’ Eve enthusiast Reid (dressed up as Edgar Allan Poe) plus a very concerned Penelope had showed up at your apartment, making you wonder why on earth wasn’t she already busy baking since she kept repeating chickenpox called for the best pumpkin pie ever.

“Well, there goes our plan to keep a low profile,” you groaned as you closed the door behind her, and Spencer’s eyes widened in surprise. 

“How…?! Is this what they call ‘female intuition’?”

“Call it whatever you want but I’m glad she’s not mad we didn’t tell her right away,” you replied, proceeding to wrap your arms around his shoulders, “and I can think of another person who’s probably very happy for you, now.”

Spencer got rid of the fake mustache with a pensive stare. When it finally dawned on him that Garcia’s phone buzzing during your impromptu horror-themed movie night had in fact started out as live updates on their godson’s health and most likely turned into a gossip session about you two as a couple he squinted.

“I almost bailed on going trick-or-treating with them. I didn’t because I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, but I also wanted to see you. It’s our first Halloween.”

You nodded. “Maybe we can still get tickets for Nosferatu. You’re a terrible liar, so I’m sure there really is a midnight screening at the Silver Theatre.”

Spencer stared at you, entranced, then pulled you closer and in a heartbeat your lips met his - a sweet caress, tender and soft, your breaths entwined and your noses rubbing against each other in delicate strokes. You gave him a gentle push and he plopped down on the couch as you placed one knee on either side of his legs to straddle him; one of his hands sneaked behind you, exploring you as if he was trying to blindly map your whole back. 

You felt his other hand on your waist, hesitant. 

Three months had passed since the day you both came to the conclusion you were not “just friends” - three months made of late night phone calls from six different States, of handwritten silly notes you hid in his leather bag each time you drove him to the airport to catch a flight for Houston, three months of you hoping things would eventually move past the PG rated phase.

Three months of your self-consciousness sowing the seed of doubt in your heart, encouraged by the notion of whom he got to share his workspace with: you were no Emily or JJ and even if Spencer wasn’t the type to pay attention to details he frequently referred to as ‘trivial’ you were growing less and less confident.

“It’s fine, you can touch me,” you whispered, guiding his palm to cup your breast. They were pretty difficult to ignore, nevertheless he always seemed to steer away from them as much as he could.

You ran your fingers through his hair until you grabbed a small chunk of his curls; Spencer gasped for air and you brushed your tongue over his lower lip, letting out a muffled moan when the heat between your legs became almost unbearable. You started grinding on his lap to adjust tightly against his body.

“Wait…” he whined, squirming under you.

A second moan escaped from your throat while the pressure of his stiff cock hit your thigh but he shoved you away to free himself and spring to his feet, shaking heavily as if he was experiencing a full blown anxiety attack. 

His cheeks were flustered and his hair stuck to his dampened forehead so that he couldn’t even look at you straight - which gave him the perfect excuse to avoid doing it altogether. “I– I’m sorry…”

“No, no, I am…” you muttered, because the guilt building up in your chest felt so heavy you find it difficult to breathe.

Spencer was standing there, fumbling nervously with the cravat around his neck; his body language was screaming discomfort and he was clearly thinking of an excuse to remove himself from the situation. It was then that the hidden and irrational side of you, the one that desperately feared he would have disappeared forever if you’d let him go, kicked in and a rush of adrenaline came running down your spine.

“Please…” you continued, placing a hand over his, “it’s okay, really… there’s no way to control it, you should know better than anyone—”

“Why? Because I’m a man and men are supposed to have zero impulse regulation?!”

The embarrassment and shame in his voice broke you: you had sworn a thousand times in your mind to do your best to be his solace, yet now it seemed you were hurting him like no-one had ever done before.

“No,” you replied, “because you’re the genius, here, and you should know it’s a perfectly healthy and natural reaction.”

He huffed, visibly irritated at what he must have perceived as a patronizing tone. A different sort of emotion crawled under your skin, sparked by the amount of tension stagnating in the air.

You offered him a cushion and glanced at him with your usual no-nonsense attitude. “Sit down, so we can have a proper conversation? You know, like… functioning adults.”

Spencer pouted for a second, evaluating numbers and statistics about two years and a half’s worth of interactions. The truth was, intellectual affinity was such a familiar concept for the two of you that talking your way through an issue was indeed a synonym for a positive outcome. 

He grabbed the cushion and held it onto his stomach to shield himself from your gaze, though it was purposely focused on his face; you thought it was best to put some distance between your bodies when he sat on the couch again so you folded your legs underneath you, shivering like a cold draft had found its way inside the room.

“Listen, we can both agree this is not your regular, everyday casual topic of conversation… which is why we’ve never discussed premarital sex—”

“I’m not against it,” Spencer rushed to declare, “I’ve assumed it was the same for—”

“Sure, no! Ditto,” you confirmed.

His furrowed brows relaxed while his mouth curved in a timid smile. “Did you know that every person’s intimate relationships follow a script that has been written according to their own individual attitude towards all –uhm, sexual experiences?”

“I did not,” you admitted, and Spencer’s hands started dancing to the sound of his own words. 

“There are sets of guidelines for appropriate behavior, each partner in consensual encounters acts as if they are an actor following a script rather than acting on impulse alone. Researches indicate that women are more likely to initiate contact in well established relationships, negotiating sexual activity in developing relationships can be difficult 'cause both parts have multiple goals to deal with, such as providing relational definitions or following specific standards or morals.”

“Yeah, speaking about relationships… I think we’ve been in one since Christmas, we were just too dumb to say it out loud. And to each other,” you explained. “Sounds like a well-established to me but what’s your take on us?”

He curled into himself. “Every time we’re together I know there’s no other place I’d rather be. I’ve never even imagined it could be possible, I want to feel you even closer… and I’m so afraid I’m forcing this on you—”

“You’re not, I want it too,” you reassured him, “but to be honest I was starting to worry you were not into… me.”

Spencer’s beautiful eyes roamed over you and what you could see was all but repulsion. “Actually it’s the complete opposite.”

“So, what if my script says I’m ready to take things further?” you inquired, inching towards him to tug at the cravat of his costume. 

Spencer cupped your face and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Mine is on the same page,” he whispered.

Your fingers immediately went to the vest he was wearing and trailed the line of buttons in a slow movement; you undid them one by one, the hems eventually coming apart to reveal the white shirt underneath.

“Tell me if anything doesn’t feel good,” you purred while you loosened the cravat to uncover his Adam’s apple. The way his muscles tensed as it bobbed up and down drove you crazy, so you teased him with the tip of your tongue - your lips grazing over the short stubble. 

Damn him and his impeccable bone structure: the scruffy look suited him so well it always sparked in you the urge to pin him to a wall and sink your teeth into his tender flesh. You loved how he could sport a smooth, professional style when the situation required it still wasn’t concerned with shaving each morning, almost as if it was an impractical activity which took energy away from whatever he considered to be a priority at that moment. 

You heard something flop on the floor and stopped your ministrations: the cushion he’d been holding over his stomach wasn’t there anymore, meaning you got to notice his trousers were becoming increasingly tight.

You squeezed his knee to make sure he was prepared for a more intimate contact then you slid it even further on his leg, giving him a couple of minutes to adjust to your gentle strokes before you felt confident enough to move the action to his inner thigh.

Spencer gasped, surprised rather than shocked or disturbed by how close you were now to where he was aching, and he leaned back to ease the pressure of the fabric but kept his eyes on you. 

He gave a silent nod in response to your interrogative stare, so you finally traced the outline of his hard cock between your thumb and index.

He jolted this time and muttered under his breath, a deep rasp in his voice you didn’t expect: you were unprepared to hear your name spoken as it was the quintessence of pure desire and you quivered, the throbbing in your ears rolling to your core.

You kissed his temple as you pointed at the waistband of his trousers. “Can I…?”

“Y– yes…” he muttered.

His clothes didn’t have any space left to accommodate his bulge. You palmed over it and felt an impatient twitch, which nearly had Spencer cursing; it was becoming torture for him so you reached for the zipper. 

For a split second the historical inaccuracy of a Victorian era costume featuring a device first introduced years after Edgar Allan Poe’s death hit you - a remark Reid himself would have been very appreciative of, which showed how much you could relate to the way his brain worked. Then you shook out of it and peeled his slacks open.

You crumpled the shirt over his stomach and marveled at the sight of his soft belly, the flawless navel, the dark fuzz pointing directly to his raging erection. With a cautious approach you freed it from any restraint, chewing on your lower lip as you often did when you were entirely focused on a challenging task. 

You couldn’t exactly say you had many options in your mind to compare him to but you had done a lot of fantasizing: now that he was in front of you, undressed and defenseless, you were downright mesmerized by—

“What’s wrong?!” Spencer screeched, interrupting your train of thought. “Is it odd? Does it look odd?!”

You shook your head, taken aback. “... odd?! No, why?!” you asked. “It’s just…” you petted the roundness to demonstrate, “I like your tummy so much.”

The way it pressed against his belt whenever he sat next to you on your couch or his was overly inviting and in the past weeks you had to fight the temptation to sneak a hand inside his shirt to squish it, because you didn’t know how he would’ve reacted. 

“Really?!” he marveled, confirming he wasn’t even aware you had a thing for soft tummies. His soft tummy, to be specific.

You smiled and leaned forward to rest your forehead against his. “Are you okay with me doing this?”

Spencer nodded, his eyelids half-closed, so you let your fingertips follow the trail of hair below his belly button; his hardness twitched again when you got near, then you wrapped your hand around it. 

You both moaned in unison, a harmony of pleasure that filled the silence of your living room. You moved along his entire length, feeling the satiny skin sliding over the shaft, and he threw his hair back in a movement that left his jugular exposed: his neck was too inviting and you sucked on it, the groans vibrating in his throat reverberating on your lips.

You gripped tighter when he got used to your caresses. As soon as his muffled whimpers seemed to increase in frequency you circled your thumb over the tip, spreading his leaking precum over the sensitive head. Spencer was at loss for words, a good indication that he was definitely enjoying the moment.

You were enjoying it too; you started to rub your legs together, your imagination running wild and picturing all sorts of scenarios. The mere thought of having him inside of you made you want to touch yourself but you resisted: Spencer was undoubtedly new to this and deserved someone in his life to love him and shower him with attention, so you decided to put his release before your own.

When you twisted your hand at the base of his cock he jumped, missing the bridge of your nose by a few inches.

“Too much?!” you cooed, and he seemed to come out of a sort of drunken stupor.

“No, no… it’s good, I like it…”

You sighed. “Spence, you have to tell me if—”

“It’s really good,” he replied, the urgency sensible in his tone. “Don’t stop,” he pleaded, low-key ashamed of how needy he’d sounded.

You pecked him on the nose as a reassurance you accepted and cherished this version of him: he wasn’t the kind of man to be interested in the crude physical aspect of sex, he’d made it clear. He wasn’t desperate for just anyone to satisfy him - he trusted you to do it, because he knew you were safe in each other’s arms.

You shifted to adjust at his side and returned to your previous occupation; you let your other hand wander over his thigh as a forewarning, then you sheepishly cupped his balls so you could provide additional stimulation and send him over the edge.

He bucked his hips, a loud “Oh, God!!!” escaping from his mouth before he grasped a fistful of your hair. He was hungry for you, his tongue sliding lustfully against yours and his breathing so ragged you were sure he was getting close. 

Kissing him was your drug of choice but you also wanted to watch him come undone, thanks to you, so you turned your head while he tensed: he arched his back and bucked his hips once more, nipping at your earlobe. He became harder as he spilled himself over your fingers, wrist and his own stomach with a feral growl.

You didn’t let go of him, not even when his whole body finally slumped down.

The well-defined jaw and unruly curls falling on his face, now so serene, made him appear like a Botticellian masterpiece. Botticelli would have never painted one of his subjects in such a disheveled state, for sure, but the contrast between his angelic aura and the fact he was sprawled on the couch with his trousers unzipped and his softening cock still in your hand was a vision to behold.

“Hey,” you hummed as he re-opened his eyes and found you looking at him, “you’re too cute to be real, you know that?!”

Embarrassed - yet adorably proud - Spencer lowered his gaze, only to grimace at the stickiness on his belly. And on you. “I made a mess, I’m s—”

“We made a mess. Besides, it’s nothing a towel can’t fix, don’t be sorry,” you said, patting his tummy.

You were almost tempted to ask him how long he’d been saving it for, in a clumsy attempt to remind him you’d fallen so head over heels for him you were not at all grossed out; at the last moment you ruled the joke out, though, stretching your legs to get up instead. “Give me a couple of minutes.”

He flashed you the most awkward smile and you forced your feet to move towards the bathroom. 

You washed your hands under the hot running water and silently watched a part of Spencer swirling down the drain; the floral scent of the soap was now in the air but you could still feel his - coffee and cologne, accentuated by the faint traces of sweat on his skin. 

You had just discovered something new: Spencer was often oblivious of how good he looked (despite the dark circles under his eyes) and that was no mystery, but the idea he might have been insecure about different parts of his body was something you’d never taken into account. If being a couple was the natural consequence of the emotional bond between you - rather than a result of some physical infatuation alone - why was he so preoccupied with your reaction to his half-naked self?

Your brain was going in severe overdrive. 

You inhaled and exhaled a couple of times, your fingers gripping on the honed marble of the countertop, then you dried your hands with a towel, grabbed a fresh one and returned to the living room; the instant you approached your couch you realized Spencer had been doing a lot of thinking of his own, and your heart sank into your stomach.

“Wunderkind, are you alright?” you questioned as you offered him the towel so that he could clean himself up. “What’s going on in here?” you added, tapping lightly on his temple.

He shrugged and proceeded to meticulously remove any trace of his seed from his belly and clothes before tucking the shirt into the waistband of his trousers. “Nothing special.”

His left eyebrow raised, due to an involuntary movement of his facial muscles: it was a flash, a glimpse, the undeniable proof he was hiding something. The sound of your intrusive thoughts and fears got so loud you wanted to scream to cover their noise.

“Your microexpressions say otherwise,” you retorted.

Spencer lifted his head to meet your eyes, mouth agape, and you couldn’t decipher the meaning of such a bewildered reaction. You had always been able to recognize his lying frown, his anxious smile, the suspicious squint and a hundred more variations: you were not a member of the BAU but you were an expert on detecting and classifying his emotions, yet you’d never seen that one before. 

“It’s… uhm, I’m wondering if it was good for you.”

Your heart leaped and bounced back where it belonged. His job required him to be the one calling people out on their behavior, not the other way round; your presence in his life forced him to face a situation in which his skills as a profiler couldn’t shield him from his own vulnerability, so he was in serious need of some consolation.

You bent over to whisper in his ear. “It was.”

“But you didn’t...” he nervously licked his lips, “and I want you to. Just tell me how.”

In the back of your mind you were 100% sure it would have been the right moment to confess you’d been harboring a few insecurities of your own but your fight-flight-freeze response was already answering on your behalf, making you freeze on the spot.

“Spencer…”

“You don’t think I can?!” he inquired, still convinced his lack of experience was the motivation behind any episode of miscommunication. 

“NO! It’s not about you,” you responded in a hurry, hugging him as he was still seated on the couch. “Or maybe it is… ” you gestured to your whole figure, “I guess I’m a bit worried this isn’t what—”

Spencer wrapped you in an equally sweet hug, his chin dimple pressed on your abdomen. “This is soft,” his hands ran to the back of your knees, trailing up, “it’s so soft I’ve got only one thing in mind every time you hug me and I have to stop myself…”

He stopped talking mid-sentence when you guided his palms over your chest and he finally laughed, fascinated by the feeling of your breasts through the shirt.

If he was so happy at the idea you were starving for his touch and was clearly eager to reciprocate it was time to consider the strong possibility he wasn’t just settling for less. “Do you really—”

“Yes!” he replied, enthusiastically. “But I could use a few hints, you know.”

You knew. “May I sit on your lap, kind sir?”

The ‘are you even serious?’ pout on his face deserved an award; now you were both allowed to act silly without the slightest concern one of you was making fun of the other, high on the intoxicating concept of true intimacy.

You positioned yourself so that you were seated on his groin, your back flat on his chest and your head nestled in the crook of his neck, thanking Mother Nature for the existence of refractory periods. Not that it was necessary, but Spencer hooked his left forearm around your waist to secure you as his tongue glided over the soft skin behind your ear. “How do I start?”

“Step one: make some space,” you tipped him.

He gulped loudly and began to caress your knee, ghosting his fingers along the thigh-bone. You shivered in anticipation and when he tried to reach for your inner thigh you spread your legs apart; he flattened his palm, gripping on your muscles and rubbing back and forth - still keeping some distance from your most delicate spots. 

You turned to offer him your lips. “Tease me… up and down, light touches.”

He did as he was told. When he ran the back of his hand over your mound you whimpered, the oversensitivity being too much to bear combined with the mind-blowing taste of his mouth over yours.

“Isn’t it frustrating for you?” he managed to articulate in between kisses and you rocked your hips against him.

You could already feel the familiar and insistent throbbing, accentuated by the fact that delayed gratification was a real pain; you were dying for him to placate the fire his hard cock had sparked in you, so you grabbed his wrist and guided it over your stomach, down the front of your panties.

He gasped at the feeling of your tender flesh, the curly hair, the dampness - too many sensory inputs to process all at once. “You’re so… warm?”

“Core body temperature is higher than the temperature of the skin,” you reminded him. 

“So warm,” he kept repeating, basic biology facts lost on him because his brain seemed to have switched off. 

His palm grazed over your folds and your legs fell further open to give him better access; you stroked his left forearm and tilted your head back. “Only two fingers now, Spence… up and down. But don’t go straight for—”

You tensed when his fingertips danced on your clit and he gripped you even tighter. “Sorry,” he mumbled, but the sensation was so good you could only smile.

“If you plan to go there it’s left and right. And draw a few circles around, big and small...” you explained before words turned into muffled moans as he put your suggestions into actions.

You were still grinding on his lap, your back glued to his chest, and he took advantage of the proximity to trap your earlobe between his teeth, sucking lightly at each change of the pattern he was tracing.

You squeezed his wrist when the flame inside of you grew fiercer. “You can slip your finger in if you want.”

Spencer let go of your earlobe and paused. “Are you sure?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for weeks,” you admitted, the weight of your secret vanishing in the air like a puff of smoke.

He sighed and shifted underneath you; just as you were ready to tell him he didn’t have to if he wasn’t comfortable with the idea he slid his middle finger past your entrance and you shuddered in his embrace. His hands were elegant, veiny, and his slender digits made for playing piano or reaching your hidden crevices - you had no doubts about it, but judging by how he was sitting still he had more than one question regarding what to do with them.

“How do I feel? Spence...?”

Even if you couldn’t really see his face, you knew he had a confused-slash-excited look on. “Hot… and wet, I never thought—”  

“You like it?”

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?!” he asked in the cutest high-pitched tone and you laughed, making you both wince at the sudden movement. 

All the words in any existent language put together couldn’t describe the amount of affection you had for him. “I like it, Spence,” you hummed, “and it would be even better if you tried curling your fin— FUCK!” 

Spencer wasn’t one to waste time once he was given a specific instruction.

He pushed his finger forward and curled it as you said, gliding in and out to slowly familiarize himself with the different textures of your inner walls. He adopted a very empirical approach, experimenting several techniques based on what he’d learned not so long before, while you whimpered and moaned his name; he was moaning, too, and so prettily you couldn’t control yourself.

“Spence, I need more…” 

He nipped at your jaw, his long hair tickling your cheek. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t, I promise”, you panted, almost out of breath.

When he slipped a second finger in you realized that his arm wrapped around your waist was the only thing still keeping you in place: your legs were giving up on you, your hips swayed to let Spencer’s fingers plunge deeper as your back arched and your fists closed around his clothes. He was pumping relentlessly, overwhelmed by your wetness and the way you were taking him inside like he was a missing part of your own body; he tried to reach for your mouth and you turned to grasp the nape of his neck.

“Your hands are perfect,” you whined, “you are perfect…”

He huffed, his heart pounding fast. “Are you…?”

“Please... make me come, Spence,” you begged him in a whisper.

He pressed his thumb on your clit and started alternating between rough circling motions and the upward movement of his fingers, as you bucked your hips at a frantic pace; your thighs muscles contracted, you clenched around him and you ears plugged as you climaxed - something that had never happened to you before.

You tugged at his hair and screamed his name, before settling against his body once the tension faded. 

He kept his fingers inside and he cuddled you throughout the aftermath of your orgasm, planting butterfly kisses wherever his mouth could reach and cradling you like his only mission in life was making you feel safe and protected. 

Your self-consciousness awoke first, despite the rush of feel-good hormones flowing in your bloodstream.

“Am I crushing you…?” you mumbled, and he grunted as you wriggled free to lean forward and pick up the towel from the floor. 

He stared at his wet fingers with a pensive frown, then he wiped them clean and turned to face you - now seated on the couch with your legs across his and your forearm rested on his shoulder, so that you could play with his curls. 

“Doctor, you deserve a gold star for your performance.”

He smiled and lowered his gaze for a second. “I’m very good at following instructions.”

“You’re not bad at improvising, either,” you pointed out, “the thing you did with your thumb…?”

“I figured it was only a matter of combining the exact pressure and the right angle. Technically speaking—”

“Spencer?!” you cut him off, before he could lose himself in his own rambling. “Thank you,” you added, kissing him lightly on his lips before you stood up to fix your panties and trousers. “You can tell me all about the mechanics behind one of the best orgasms of my life on our way.”

“Nosferatu. First Halloween together…?” you elaborated when he looked at you in total confusion. “You’ve changed your mind.”

He shifted on the couch, his hazel eyes fixed on you. “Is that okay?”

This time you looked at him with your best ‘is ice cream cold?’ frown: you wanted to spend eternity with him, not just an hour or two more. You climbed into his lap and tangled your fingers in his hair while he cupped your breasts.

“What if I get…? I mean... again?!”

“Well, it’s not going to happen right now, Professor!!" you snorted, and his giggle sounded like celestial music. "But don’t worry, we’ve got the whole night."

NB: I'm not using my regular taglist for Spencer Reid smut fics but I'm obviously tagging only the users who sent a request. If you wish to be added you can send me an ask or leave a comment below with the request to be added.

[serxinns]

How would the yandere class reacted to a vampire reader? She’s chill, and doesn’t care for much at first but also doesn’t take shit, but as she gets closer to the class she opens up- Imagine her powers cause her to stand out to people, like thinking she had a goddess like beauty and the reader doesn’t know. She just thinks she’s not hot.

Their Bloodsucking goddess

Your quirk is a vampire you don't feed on humans but on animals, you have super strength, super speed, can teleport, and fly, and also hypnotize people, have telekinesis and your weakness is iron, being in the sun for too long can cause rashes or even skin irritation, and silver as a kid you were bullied a lot at school people kept mocking your teeth and tell other kids that you eat humans try threatening you pushing you out into the sunlight everyone kept away from you until middle school you finally fought back giving your bullies a taste of your medicine and now you're in Ua

•At Ua your classmates label you as the chillest of the class and was very quiet whenever bakugo tried to insult you or try to argue with you still didn't say anything and still kept the same expression which made everyone surprise and bakugo more pissed

•You are good friends with your classmates even with the loud ones (Mina, Kirishima, Denki, hakagure) you were always their favorite person to talk to while ranting and loudly laughing at their jokes you would just sit there with a smile, and nod completely understanding what they said

•And you got along with your chill classmates(jirou, Tokoyami, Kota, shoto, shoji, etc) you and Jirou especially would listen to calm and quiet music and talk about you and her interests, and Tokoyami and Shoji would go to the library and read your books with soft music, Shoto and you would have this habit and lay on the floor while you answer some of his questions despising how dumb they are you can't explaining like "Why is the sky blue" " because it reflects off more shoto" or you and him would have some soba together and some nice cold ice tea

•Thats until there was a villain attack Mina got injured by some villain while you were battling and you had scratches and bruises yourself the villain was busy tauting you saying how weak and pathetic you are reminding you of your bulies you couldn't take it anymore and teleported your way to him knock him off the sky and beating the absolute shit out of him while cussing him while your some of your classmates watched in shocked, fear, and amused and bakugo, mina, denki, and hakagure cheered for you

•Now your classmates were already obsessed with you having a perfect body, as well with a gentle and kind demeanor what more could a girl/boy could want?!

•whenever you're talking to them they are so hypnotized by how your voice sounds, How you lazily look at them while you're talking if they want to they would want to record your voice and listen to it again and again and ur gentle arua always make them feel calm and good about themselves whenever you walk passed they'll always stare at you blushing at your body it's unbelievable

•how you'll always doubt yourself of being hot and adorable they would instantly compliment you saying how beautiful you and always reminds you of how a good "friend" (wishing they could be more) you would always think they're just being nice which makes them pout a bit and wanna cuddle and squeeze you while saying sweet nothings in your ears

•now back to the WWE villain match after that your classmates pulled you off the poor guy so he can go to jail

•They were worried so they rushed you and Mina off to the hospital mina had only a broken arm and some scratches while you had a just a few bruises and scratches but you were all right after the hospital your classmates were more obsessed and more in love with you then ever literally treating you like an absolute GODDESS worshipping you every min they can get even denki Started to call you that bakugo even complimented you

•Kirishima calls you manly whenever you spar or train with him, Mina thanks you over and over again mimicking your fighting moves, Jirou is in charge of making a playlist that can get you hyped up and ready to go, Izuku is now adding additional information about you in his notebook and also drawing doodles of you in different fighting clothing while also blushing when he draws ur figure, Ochako is writing fanfics about you and her and some of the classmates would also join is (if you want me to make a separate headcanons about that if u want)

•Ojiro is your number-one fighting partner the 2 of you teach each other different fighting techniques, momo is always buying you gifts and drag you into clothing shops with you, sato is always gifting you treats whenever you did something special (almost all the time), Kota would send his birds to give you these cute little envelops with animal prints with a good job

•at sleepovers the girls and boys would fight over who gets to spend the night in their dorm room

•if anyone talks badly about you or even try to mock you they're either injured badly the next day, blackmailed, or even gone missing depending on their mood

Whenever you go on field trips they would bicker about who gets to sit beside whom while ur in the back a bit nervous

•They a adored your calm and gentle nature now even fighting in the mix? Hell yeah! They'll support you and look after you and always devoted themselves to protect you their vampire godddess~

[itsonlydana]

"passenger princess" | chapter eight

the hobbit | a modern!AU by itsonlydana

❱ pairing: Thranduil x fem!reader

❱ wordcount: 4,6k

❱ summary: the stormy side of summer; falling down a rabbit hole of doubts

❱ warnings: mature language, descriptions of weed & alcohol, description of a panic attack

❱ an: forgive me? This is the second to last chapter and I'm not me without a bit of drama

general m.list + series m.list

🌿 reposts and comments are appreciated, they motivate me a lot - especially with longer projects <3

CHAPTER EIGHT: PANIC

The music around you was loud, the air sweltering hot. Heavy bass pulsed in your veins, mixing with the cold beer that you lifted to your lips trying to cool down just the slightest; it helped only a little and only for a brief moment, a hint of moisture in your throat before the stale and stuffy air caught up with you again.

No matter how many frat parties you had been to, the number of guests fitting in the much too small and mostly couch-filled houses always surprised you.

And here, in the living room you got dragged into, were obviously far too many. A mass of sweaty bodies pressed tightly together and swaying back and forth to the songs blaring from the speakers.

You leaned against the wall where you'd spent most of the evening, staring over the rim of your cup at your roommate.

'Oh, you really need to come to this party,' you repeated her tearful words from this morning in your head. She had blindsided you as you were about to head off to Aragorns, had begged you to accompany her because 'Oh I don't want to go there alone and we haven't been out in so long'.

Apparently, there was a tiny bit of guilt in you. In the weeks before university had started, you knew no one and had blindly followed her to these parties until you had met your boys, and yes, she was right about you then going with them rather than her.

Plagued by your good heart and the promise of 'We'll do it like we used to, just the two of us!' you had forced yourself out of your comfy clothes and Thranduil's sweater and thrown on one of your party outfits instead.

Nothing came of the "just the two of us".

Within minutes of your arrival, she'd been pulled onto the dance floor by one of the (in your opinion, look-alike) blonde residents of the house.

The only thing you had done together was pre-drink some shots in the car of an acquaintance who had given you a ride.

It didn't sound nice, and to most others, your roommate's behavior would probably be 'unfriendly' and 'selfish,' but while she preferred to dance with strangers, you had previously used these parties to, well, make acquaintances elsewhere.

With the promise of a real date from Thranduil and the text messages you'd been sending back and forth to each other all day and even for the past weeks, the thought of repeating your earlier party experiences left a bitter taste in your mouth.

And it was almost more disgusting than the beer here- however that was possible. The beer was disgusting. Really fucking disgusting.

Life had taken a turn on you, growing rosy and soft at the sharp edges.

The giddy feeling of bridging that space between you and Thranduil accompanied you throughout the days and nights, you saw no need in the hook-up culture that came along with these kinds of parties.

As if on cue and as if he had read your mind, your phone vibrated in your other hand.

Thran: Darling, I hope you arrived safely! xx Thranduil

The smile that spread on your face when you read his message was unavoidable.

Thranduil had a habit of signing every message with his name, even though you (and Legolas) had explained to him several times that it was not necessary.

With every day that passed, you discovered more very kind and terribly sweet quirks about Thranduil, and every day you fell more in love with him.

You: we did. four shots into the night and i want to leave again

Thran: Oh no! Did anything happen? xx Thranduil

You: nothing that should surprise me, its a frat party lmao

Thran: You seem to enjoy them when you go out with Legolas. xx Thranduil

Thran: A lot, if I remember the many nights where I had to pick you guys up from some house correctly xx Thranduil

There was a truth behind it that you couldn't deny.

Frat parties with Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli were clearly preferable to you, because your boys wouldn't just leave you alone.

Well, at least not for an entire evening.

Legolas had a knack for wandering off at these parties, though he never got far until he was surrounded by swarming girls and boys.

Another advantage of going to parties with them was that Aragorn knew everyone and you never had trouble getting in anywhere, no matter what kind of party it was.

The pick-ups by Thranduil increased again, now that summer break called for more parties and more outings.

With you last on the route and Legolas asleep and unresponsive in the back seat, Thranduil drove the rest of the way always with his hand in yours or on your legs and every time he accompanied you to the front door you hoped.

Hoped his lips didn't land on your forehead or your cheek. Hoping that he would finally kiss you like the look on his face showed. It was frustrating to stand in the dark alcove with him, looking up at him and feeling only his thumb on your lips as he put his hand on the back of your neck.

It was tempting to call him, just ask him to pick you up from this party and then you could drive around in the night, hands intertwined and without a care in the world.

To be honest, you were already dialing his number in your mind when you lifted your cup and looked back at your roommate as you drank.

Your clear conscience gnawed at you as you grimaced slightly biting into the plastic without breaking it. What you could use besides your less-than-ideal mood was a beer-soaked dress.

You: yes, with the boys!

You: roomie ditched me to make out with some Beta Chi Theta guy

You: i got crypto explained to me three fucking times

You: and i swear either i will die of boredom or blackout from the bowl they are serving here. its like 90 perc vodka

Thran: Typical for boys. Thinking a woman has nothing in her head because she is gorgeous. xx Thranduil

You: You think i am gorgeous? ;)

Thran: You are really cheeky for someone that got ditched xx Thranduil

You: wow. shouldn't you be reading a book or play golf, old man?

Thran: Shouldn't you be dancing and not texting with a still young and handsome man? xx Thranduil

Thran: Why are you going to these parties with your roommate if you suffer this much? xx Thranduil

You: most times you get free entry and drinks just bcs you got your tits out :)

Thran: That is definitely not the sentence that I have expected xx Thranduil

You: you want proof?

Thran: ...

Three dots ...

Nothing

Then again the three dots …

You had to bite your lip, and yet the grin spread all over your face as Thranduil visibly tapped away at an answer for a long time.

As much as it frustrated you to see the dots disappear again, the flirting had clearly improved your mood.

"Oh my god, girly–"

With both hands in front of her face, trying to catch her breath, your roommate fell against the wall next to you, her cheeks flushed and her eyes wide open.

Without words, you held your cup out to her and grinned as she put her head back and drank the beer in a few gulps, after which she puckered her mouth.

"This shit tastes like ass," she said, wiping a hand across the corner of her mouth.

"Are you surprised?" you asked, letting your gaze wander over the crowd. "Where did you leave your boy-toy? The way he had his hands on you, I'm surprised to see you here beside me and not on some bed upstairs."

Snorting, your roommate held her hair to the side "Fuck me, it's so hot in here," she cursed and you longed for some fresh air as well, there was only one window open in here and a group of smokers were leaning out of it. "Kíli just went to get his brother," She turned her head, grinning broadly and started giggling "We were at a party at their place the other night and Girly— Fíli is such a hottie!"

"Brothers?" you asked, one eyebrow raised skeptically "Don't you think one is enough?"

At that, the giggling died down and a surprised and slightly reproachful look landed on you. "Babe, you of all people shouldn't be judging, don't you think?"

Slightly startled at the tone in her voice, you leaned away from her, seeking eye contact, but she rolled her eyes and then there was that smirk on her face again.

"As much as I would appreciate a trip to Paris," she was the only one laughing at this innuendo, "Fíli isn't coming for me. Well, at least not today." She paused to fan herself again and you thought you had to shake her to make her continue speaking. When she did, however, you wished you had never started the conversation.

"Fíli is coming for you, babe! Look at you, standing around all alone at this party, it's so lame," She smiled at you and put a warm hand on your bare arm. "In the old days, I would have had to hold your hair now or found you in one of the bedrooms."

"Coming for me?" you asked in horror, your thoughts a single merry-go-round at the sudden change in mood. "Why would you invite a boy I don't know over because of me? Just because I made the mistake of sleeping with some fratboy once in the very beginning?"

"You've changed sweetie and I just want to help you have fun again."

"I'm having fun," you replied bitterly, "Believe me, it's not on me why I'm standing around here alone. You wanted to come here together!"

"Yeah, because I thought that would make you finally stop thirsting after old men!" your roommate cried, and a slap would probably have been more pleasant than her words.

They came crashing down on you like a bucket of cold water while you got even hotter. You could feel your breathing first stop and then become faster, more irregular, and it slipped slightly into the uncontrollable.

She wasn't done, though. Cheeks flushed, she pressed a long fingernail against your chest and pushed you against the sticky wall.

"Do you know how disgusting it is to see you being driven home at night by a man as old as my father? Not to mention it's your best friend's father, Girl. You're constantly on the road, sleeping in his sweater and even here you prefer to write with this old fuck instead of finally finding someone your age. At first, I really believed you were sleeping with Legolas since you were always with him and god I would have understood that."

Anger burned in your belly, bubbling and hissing, fighting its way up with every word thrown at your feet, and by the last sentence, you were ready to forget all your notions of moral rightness.

The temptation to show her what you could do with your anger was as present in a twitch of your hands as the taste of blood in your mouth. You hadn't even realized you'd bitten your lip until metal spread across your tongue.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," you snapped at her in a tone that couldn't have been more bitter.

"Oh no?" She challenged you, her red-painted lips twisted into a sardonic grin. "Tell me," she moved closer, leaning far too close into your personal space for your liking right now, and you tasted alcohol and the acrid smell of weed on her breath.

"Is he paying you for sex? Or what does he want from you of all people?"

The music around you was loud and you felt hot and cold at the same time. The bass boomed in your ears and yet you thought you perceived nothing louder than the suspension of your heart at that moment.

It happened very quickly, the poisoned words had barely bitten you, you already felt a touch of dizziness, a spinning of the room and with it disintegrated the image that you had had so far of your roommate.

You couldn't find words to express what you wanted to say. You wanted to scream at her, push her, insult her, tug and tear at her and beat her with similarly poisonous claws until she felt even a hint of the pain spreading through your body.

There was so little air in that house.

Sweat and alcohol, weed and smoke stung your lungs with every attempt to take a deep breath.

Your legs moved on their own as you fought your way through the crowd, past blurry faces.

Out, you had to get out.

You needed air.

You fled the house, the words anchored deep in your chest, where they dug deeper with each breath until your chest threatened to explode.

Not knowing where to go, the main thing your brain screamed was away, you stumbled across the porch, hearing someone calling your name, but you didn't stop.

You kept running, lapsing after a while from running to walking more slowly until even that became far too much for your feet.

Looking around you didn't recognize the houses around you, and the thought of going back the same way you pushed away as quickly as it had come.

The silence coming from the sleeping family homes around you was almost as bad as the music of the house. Your heart beat loud enough that it throbbed dully in your ears and no matter how athletic you might be, your breath rattled and burned in the freezing night air that crept around your free legs and arms.

Shivering, from anger, cold or pure exhaustion from it all, you couldn't tell, you pulled at the hem of your dress and lowered yourself to the curb.

Legs pulled to your chest you ran your hands over your face, over glowing cheeks and as you tried to take a deep breath you felt your jaw tighten and only a sniffle could be heard in the silence.

A "fuck", slipped over your lips, quietly and rather an exhalation of air instead of letters. Your mind was in chaos, driven by a big 'what the fuck just happened?' thoughts piled up in an unassailable crowd. It felt surreal, and as much as you pleaded it was a figment of alcohol, the events burned inside you.

You stared at the ground in front of you, your roommate's last words echoing in your ears, and the image of your friendship tore before you like a rubber band stretched too long. It had been inevitable in the end, that was clear to you, because you had never really fit together.

Only the hostility had been a surprising guest.

She had been so driven to hurt you and her weapons had found their target.

What had seemed to you before like a solid foundation of trust and respect crumbled beneath you and your throat tightened at the thought of going back to your dorm.

Sniffling, you unlocked your phone, which you thank god hadn't dropped as you'd run. Immediately you stared at the last opened chat with Thranduil and the wave of emotions crashed over you again.

Before the bitter words could bite into your insecurity, however, you had already dialed his number and held the phone to your ear.

Only a few seconds later the dialing sound disappeared and was replaced by a coarse, "First you leave me on a sweet promise and then you call when I want to sleep? Tze tze, darling" A single, miserably failed attempt to suppress a sob was enough to change the tone in his voice from a drawled tease to concern.

He spoke your name with such concern that a second sob followed the first, "Is everything alright... what happened? Darling, the background is so quiet, where are you?"

You didn't have it in you to repeat the argument, didn't want to say hateful things to him over a phone even if they hadn't been your words.

Instead, you hugged your legs with your free hand, pulling them closer to you. "I don't know where I am"

On the other end of the line you heard him inhale sharply, a commotion of rustled blankets, then bare feet on floor.

"Nothing happened to me," you quickly forestalled his question, and then immediately felt the pain in your chest again, and tears gathered in your eyes on your next breath. "Thranduil, I–" you began, but your voice broke. Hearing him had been enough to open the floodgates of your held-back despair, the battle with yourself for your composure was lost.

Alone on the side of the road, in a neighborhood that was foreign to you and with nothing on you but what you were wearing and your cell phone, you felt so cut off from all warmth that you couldn't help but cry.

Thranduil said your name again, this time with more urgency, "Send me your location and I'll come to get you."

"You don't have to," you protested weakly "You wanted to sleep"

"The only way I'm going to be able to relax and close even one damn eye today is if I know you're safe, and nothing is going to stop me from making sure of that myself."

While sending him your location you also put him on speaker phone, your phone cradled in your hands.

"Okay, I can be there in fifteen minutes. Are you safe where you are?" asked Thranduil and you heard his front door slam.

You looked around, but except for a dog in the distance, no one seemed to be near you. "Yes," you managed to say before the tears took over again and shook you.

A car door was pulled open and closed again, the familiar click of its key and purr of the engine followed, and despite your crying, the familiar sounds filled you with a slight warmth.

As much as you wanted to make yourself smaller, to put your head between your legs to hide from the world, you didn't dare to turn your back completely to your surroundings.

It tore you apart piece by piece.

The evening had not gone at all as you had wished. It didn't have to be much, a few free drinks, conversations about courses of study and how awful some professors were, then maybe a couple of dances with girlfriends and before you knew it you would have been back in your bed, snuggled up in Thranduil's sweater.

But no.

How could you have been so wrong?

Your hands clawed into your upper arms as your body shook from your sobs. Nails pressed into your skin in a way that would surely leave marks, but you didn't fight back. Didn't stop.

Why had you opened up?

A bitter voice haunted your thoughts, whispering to you that it had been inevitable. Of course, you couldn't even enjoy a relationship; if you could call that with Thranduil a relationship.

He wouldn't even kiss you. They were ghosts, insecurities hidden under white sheets with grimaces cut into them, who knew how to use their tricks so that within a few minutes you were a complete mess.

What had started as anger toward your roommate took a quick downward path into your fears.

Your roommate had given the ghosts an opening, had purposefully punched a hole in your walls, and now your head was trapped in a stream, ever downward.

Doubt ate at you, made you question Thranduil's feelings.

You clung to whispered words at movie nights, the feather-light touch of his hand on your back wherever you were, and the smile, very different from his grin, much more genuine, gentle, and given only to you.

Tears fell too fast to wipe them away and sucked the last bit of strength that had kept you upright until now out of you like it was never there at all.

In another state, it would never have occurred to you to give in to doubts.

In another state, you were aware of how much progress you'd made in conversing and growing comfortable being the person the other could rely on, how heavy his touches were in their meaning.

A fleeting brush of his fingers over your shoulder or back as he passed you, a hand in your side as he walked you to the guest room after long parties, as Legolas fell asleep on the couch, or when he grabbed your hand to help you out of the car, because no matter what the weather, he was always at your door to open it.

It was easy to lose yourself when you were hurting, to question what was real.

You must have switched off completely, because suddenly you were bathed in the bright light of headlights and a dark car shot towards you much too fast.

What would have otherwise been guaranteed to send you running was a welcome sight to you, and you were on your feet even before the car stopped in front of you.

The next sob that went through you and shook your whole body was accompanied by a simultaneously relieved but also longing wail.

Thranduil jumped out of the car, the door open behind him and the engine continuing to purr, and you didn't wait a second longer before throwing yourself at him.

For a moment the ghosts disappeared, driven away by the oh-so-familiar face whose eyes anxiously scanned you for injuries.

His arms immediately embraced you, pulling you to his chest and wrapping around your torso like a shield. One of his hands grasped your waist, stabilizing you as he realized you were falling fully against him, his other stroking your back first in even motions until they brushed up your shoulder blades and then wrapped around your neck.

Your hands clawed at his sweater, crumpling the fabric between your fingertips as you clung to him. Turning your head so that your ear rested against his chest, the place your cheek pressed against was quickly drenched with tears and there was no doubt you would apologize when you could speak more again without being interrupted by sobs and whimpers from your throat.

"Shh, I'm here," Thranduil murmured, lowering his head to yours. Soft lips traveled a familiar route from your forehead, to your temple, down to your ear, leaving kisses so gentle that your heart contracted in shame at ever having doubted them.

"I'm here," Thranduil repeated, and you could feel the movement of his lips against your skin, feel the vibration of his deep voice in his chest. "Follow my breath, in and out, okay? In, you're doing so well my love, and out slowly, very good."

A few minutes of deep, concentrated breathing passed to force yourself back into a stable state.

Eased through it by Thranduils low voice in your ear, reverberating through your entire body just like the breaths he took for you to mimic him.

Guided by the slow rise and fall of his chest, your lungs filled themselves with his scent instead of the harsh and cold wind, clouding you in the faint smell of lingering perfume that had worn off this late of an hour.

"I'm sorry," When you spoke, your voice was raspy. The words were scratching in your throat, it would most likely be sore later, and half of them are muffled by his sweater, but you felt that he heard you in the way that his muscles tensed. "I'm so sorry."

Your eyelashes were sticky with tears, pealing open to tilt your head just the slightest bit for you to look up at Thranduil.

His eyes were on you already, and with a soar of your heart you discovered the puffiness under them, the redness coloring his cheeks.

Had he been crying? For you? Because of you?

Slowly you raised on arm, stroking over the slight discoloration of his ivory skin.

He caught your hand in his, breathing another kiss on the inside of your palm.

"I was so fucking scared," he started, holding your gaze through half-lidded eyes "I was trying to talk to you on the phone but you stopped talking and all I could hear were your cries and god, I was so fucking scared that I wouldn't be here in time. The scenarios in my head–" his whole body shuddered trying to fight those thoughts visibly coming up again, the breath he lets out hot against your hand. "I would have never forgiven myself."

"I'm so so sorry," you whispered "I wasn't sure who to call."

"You have no need to apologize for this. Okay? Never apologize for calling me, whenever and whatever it is about. I rather drive through the country to pick you up than have you call a cab." Thranduils nose nudged against your forehead.

His gaze was slowly softening, the initial worry not disappearing but dwindling to be replaced by a relief that you at least seem to be physically alright.

"Come, let's get you out of this dreadful cold. It looks like it will rain soon and you, my darling, deserve to be warm and comfortable."

'I am warm', you thought loosening your grip on his sweater, 'you make me feel warm.'

You didn't say it, instead, you let him guide you to his car, his arm still around your waist and when he opened the door for you you had to hold back another sob.

There, laying on the black leather, was the green sweater you loved so much on him.

The one he wore when he had you pressed against the painting in his hallway, the one he had worn the first morning you came over after that evening, still giddy and blushing all over, as he had sat next to you at the breakfast table and his legs had ever so slightly brushed against yours, while Legolas and Gimli were discussing your weekend plans.

He had worn that sweater the first time he had held your hand in the darkness of his living room, a movie playing on the TV and Legolas asleep on the other end of the couch, and you had held your breath, as he slowly reached between you, intertwining your fingers in each other and smiling at you.

Pulling it over your head you felt your hands trembling.

There were so many words on your tongue, forming sentences out of the feelings bubbling inside you like a hot pot of water that surely would boil over sooner or later and you could pinpoint the exact moment it did because as soon as Thranduil sat down in the driver seat he reached over and gently placed his hand on your leg.

"You don't need to tell me what happened but know that I'll listen to you when you want to."

You were fighting the tears once again, this time it was from the overwhelming warmth that spread through you. Thranduil was here, with you, and his voice carried to you like a comforting embrace and you no longer were alone.

Oh, how wonderful it felt. The kindness in his words was a flame inside you, lightning all the places that were left raw and hollow and cold with haunting ghost touches and it soothed away the pain that the venomous words had left you with.

There was not a chance that you could get anything out of your mouth without breaking down into a crying mess. so you just nodded, resting your hand over his and squeezed it.

It wasn't much.

But it was enough for the moment

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