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writefightandflightclub · 4 years

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Rally the troupes

What is this? 10 of 14 requests for my last follower celebration. The prompt is “emergency dance party”!!!! Fluffy one-shot. Poe gets creative with ways to cheer you up!

Also: 100% need to mention this awesome audio by @bluebellhairpin which shoudl put you in the mood!

Warnings: the rhythm is gonna get ya.

Word count: 2.6k, alarmingly.

GIF: source

“What’s the emergency?” Finn exclaims breathlessly, rocking up to the hangar and throwing open the doors. He jogs purposefully past the crowd of convened comrades right up to Poe.

“Did I say ‘emergency’?” the pilot dismisses innocently. “I don’t think I used the word ‘emergency.”

“You did. That’s exactly what you said.” Finn insists.

“Just get in formation, Finn.” Poe deflects, clamping his hands on his friend’s shoulders to scooch him over and position him amongst the other rebels. “If you stand right about....” Poe’s eyes trail along the rest of the line as he makes another adjustment, before releasing his grip. “...there. That looks symmetrical.” For the first time, Finn peels his eyes away from Poe and scans over the crowd. Poe has various pilots, mechanics, medics, and command-room crew assembled, everyone arranged in lines and forward-facing.

With a spring in his step, Poe makes his way back to the front of the pack. For an emergency, he doesn’t seem overly concerned, Finn observes.

Poe gains the attention of his assembled team, who are muttering confusedly amongst themselves. “Can everyone see me from where they’re stood?”

There is a general murmur of agreement.

“Good.” Poe claps his hands together in excitement. “For the next thirty minutes we have a very important task. You may have noticed that a good friend of mine has been a little down lately, and so I hoped we could do something hilarious to help cheer them up.”

Poe’s eyes are drawn to Finn in the crowd as a grin of realisation inches across his face, no further explanation necessary. “It’s an emergency dance party!”

Poe returns his smile as Finn pumps his fist in the air and whoops in approval. This was way better than most of the things Poe had previously convened people for. “Hell yes it’s an emergency dance party!” Poe echoes, opening his palms and inviting the whole crowd to share in his and Finn’s evident enthusiasm. “In half an hour, we’ll have an amazing, surprise routine ready to perform. First, I’m gonna need you to come up here, one-by-one, and give us your most ridiculous dance move to add to the sequence.” A murmur of energy, apprehension, and self-consciousness flickers through the crowd but Poe taps his chest; “I’ll make an idiot out of myself first, don’t worry”, he reassures.

“Well, that’s standard!” Rey hollers out good-naturedly from amidst the throng.

“Rey will go second.” Poe counters mischievously.

There is a flutter of laughter through the crowd at both the insult and rebuttal, but Poe’s enthusiasm is for the most part infectious. One could even suggest that the man has leadership skills, or at least enough charisma and heart for people to get behind him. “Everyone in?” he asks, but doesn’t wait for an answer; his mind is set and this is happening. He turns to the astromech unit by his side with a point of his finger. “Hit it, Beebs.”

The funky sounds of music fill the hangar as Poe gets his boogie on.

***

You walk towards the hangar to begin your shift, practically dragging your feet. Truth be told, as much as you loved your work and would welcome the distraction, you wished you didn’t have to deal with Poe right now. You had been having a hard time lately, and Poe was one of the few people who could see right through the brave face you’d been wearing.

When you arrive at the hangar, though, the door is pulled closed - which is unusual - with a droid stationed outside. “Scoot!” you caution, shuffling the unit out of the way. The second item of suspicion is that it’s eerily quiet, none of the typical sounds emanating from inside. No clank of metal on metal, whirr of machines, or voices barking orders.

You push the door open with some caution, expecting it to be empty, and you startle as the faces of a large group of rebels greet you, grins plastered on their faces. Poe is heading up the group and their unusual formation, his grin widest of all. You barely have any time to register this or to discern what’s going on before the music kicks-in over the hangar speakers. You startle as arms are suddenly thrust into the air, everybody moving in unison. The hangar is darkened, the lights in the cockpits of the X-Wings programmed to flash on in time with the music.

They’re dancing. Your hands come up to your face in shock as it sinks in. They did this for you. Poe did this for you.

You venture further into the hangar, watching with glee as the troupe of troops fling themselves enthusiastically around, delighting you with a series of ridiculous shapes. All the classic dance moves are in there; the droid, the X-wing, the twist. BB-8 is even in on the action, circling elaborately around Poe’s legs and wobbling his adorable little head.

“From the top” Poe yells, and the sequence begins to repeat. After every spin and jump and clap his eyes return to you, carefully studying your reaction. You can practically see the relief sink into his movements as he sees you laughing, and he returns your easy smile. If it’s possible, he throws even more gusto into it, especially into any move that calls for a wiggle of his hips or butt.

Happy tears bloom in the corner of your eyes as the ridiculous, shambolic, and yet utterly perfect routine plays out, punctuated by whoops and peals of laughter from your friends. Part way through, Finn and Rey give up and fold over in mirth. When the structured part of the routine is over, the group break off into freestyle and Poe, still intent on you, reaches his hand out, nodding his head encouragingly as he mouths “Wanna dance?.

How could you resist his sweet, open, hopeful face. You reach out to him and he grins, wrapping one arm around your waist and pulling you close to him. ��Is this ok?” he checks, respectful as ever.

“Yep. It’s very ok.” His eyebrow cocks up in slight surprise at the mildly suggestive look which appears in your eyes, and he takes the liberty of pressing his body a little closer to you than necessary. Maybe this was something you should explore later. Especially after seeing that butt wiggling. You expel a light-hearted chuckle at the thought, your cheeks beginning to ache from smiling and flush from the sudden proximity.

Poe beams at you as he leads you around the floor, swivelling and twirling you all over in a raucous and bouncy fashion. It seems that finally seeing you smile again has made him feel like he’s uncovered some kind of buried treasure, judging by the unfiltered delight in his eyes. “Poe,” you communicate in between steps, in the moments where he pulls you back in to his chest at intervals. “This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“If I had my way you’d have nothing but sweet things.” he offers in a way which is effortlessly sincere.

You study his eyes a moment, blown away by his words, forgetting to move your feet and smashing into his chest. He throws his arms out to steady you and you’re locked like that -despite the chaotic and jubilant whirling occurring around you- until Poe snaps you out of it by wrapping an arm around your shoulder and gesturing beyond you. “Hey, I think there’s a dance-off brewing. Come on.” He nods his head in the direction of the circle of people forming, where hands and feet are beginning a steady clapping rhythm.

You howl in amusement when you approach. Of course Finn is in the middle. The spectators part for you, making space for you to join its circumference, and Poe stands beside you, never dropping his arm from around your shoulders.

“If Rey levitates you that’s cheating, Finn!” you yell into the centre of the circle through cupped hands as Finn, much to his surprise, is lifted off the ground to perform an elaborate spin.

Finn wails and points at you, quickly shouting that you’re up next. You shake your head and wave a hand in protest, looking to Poe for back-up. He just shrugs and smiles. “Looks like you’re up next.” You would feel self-conscious, but the way Poe is beaming at you and you only makes you want to dance for joy, and so you shimmy into the centre of the circle, throwing your body around wildly to hoots of approval. Apparently Poe approves too, judging from his enlivened shouts and foot stomping.

Of course, when your turn is over, you point at Poe to have him take your place, and he makes a determined march towards you, throwing you a wink as you cross paths on his way into the fray. Poe is right in the centre of it all, pulling out some vigorous moves, the cheers from the group and the banging music and flashing lights feeling like they’re about to raise the roof.

That’s the moment Leia chooses to ceremoniously enter the hangar, cape flowing behind her as she pushes aside the double doors. A hush ripples out across the crowd of ad hoc partygoers and Poe glances over, alerted to the presence of the General. He offers her his most charming smile, but he keeps up with his cavorting. Leia looks like she might scold him, but then she surveys the faces of her rebels, perhaps realising that it has been a long time since everyone has been smiling like this. Since morale has been this high. Instead of halting the proceedings, an expression which is both mock-scolding and supressing amusement passes over her face. She simply waves her hand in a ‘carry on’ motion. You hear her subdued laughter next to you as the General slots in to the space in the circle.

“You ok kid?” she asks you, with a gentle nudge of her elbow. You nod at her, probably looking brighter than you have in some time. It doesn’t go unnoticed. “Poe Dameron is something else, isn’t he?” Leia asks, shaking her head in fond disbelief as you both spectate his moves, watching him peacock and strut around the floor. As if he knows that he’s being talked about, he turns to wiggle his ass in your and the General’s direction. “Oh my!” Leia exclaims, holding her hands up as if to block out the sight, then feigning to fan herself with a chuckle.

Then, Leia leans in as though to whisper a secret to you. “I’m sure you all know how much I detest gossip, kiddo. But if I were you, and a man with moves like that was looking at me the way Dameron’s looking at you...” Leia trails off. “Well, it might not be proper to say what I’d do, but I just hope that you plan to do something about it.” She pats you on the shoulder and smiles knowingly at you. “You know, if you want to.”

What was Leia implying? Was Poe really looking at you in some kind of way? You don’t have time to complete the thought though, as Poe extends his hand towards Leia and tugs her into a surprisingly elegant waltz around the middle of the circle, to the delight of everyone, their smiles warm and soft-centred.

You feel a rush of affection for the man who has put a smile on everyone’s face - yours included. He’d taken an off-hand comment you’d made, whilst feeling blue, and turned it into something beautiful. After a string of horrible events, you were struggling to be “okay”, or to find hope again. One aspect weighing on you, was that you couldn’t say for sure when any of this would be over. Couldn’t say when, if ever, people would be able to live again, to dance again, to love again. Poe was showing you that no matter how bleak it got, that you didn’t have to wait for moments like this. They could happen now.

If you had your way, that man would have nothing but sweet things. He deserved it.

***

The dancing had continued into the afternoon, until the time had come when work really did need to be done. Still, the music had stayed on over the speakers, everyone had continued with a little spring in their step, and laughter had been much more frequent than usual as the crew went about their business. You, in particular, had been on a rare high all day.

You’d gotten stuck back in to your tasks, but whenever a thought of Poe surfaced you couldn’t hold back the smile and butterflies which followed. To distract yourself, you had immersed yourself in your work repairing the ships. As was typical, you were lying beneath the undercarriage of a craft, and had lost track of the passage of time. You didn’t notice almost everyone else in the hangar had cleared out until you felt a soft -and then more insistent- kick to your boots; Poe’s usual signal that you’d been under there too long. That or he’d fling a casual ration bar underneath to remind you to eat something.

You duck out from underneath, and look-up at him, still pressed to the floor. “What’s going on?” you enquire. Did you always feel this nervous when he looked at you, or was this new?

“Got one more routine I wanna show you.” Poe informs, offering his hand. You reach out and he wraps your wrist, tugging you to a standing position. “Beebs, hit it.” The astromech tootles in delight and a slow, romantic song begins to emanate from his speakers. In succession, the lights throughout the hangar then flick out, replaced once again by the lumination of X-wing cockpits, giving the room a soft, almost magical glow.

Taking your fingers in his, Poe twirls you gently and then pulls you close to him, tucking you into his body, his warm and sturdy arms encasing your waist. “Is this still ok?”, he asks you softly.

“Yes” you breathe, nervously, as he sways you in his arms to the sweeping rhythm of the music, your movements perfectly in sync. With mild trepidation, you raise your arms to wind them around his neck, slotting the ‘v’ of your thumb and forefinger over his shoulders, your fingertips twisting in the overgrown curls at the nape of his neck.

Pulled in to him like this, your bodies are so close that you feel the heat of him through your respective oil-coated uniforms. You are close enough to drink in his disarming, musky scent. Your lips twitch up in a nervous smile as his dark eyes meet yours, fervent and unwavering as you shuffle over the hangar floor together. He is as warm and welcoming and compelling as a blazing hearth, and you fear that if you pull away now you would almost certainly freeze. He’s a comfort you always want to be beside, yet a small part of you feels unworthy of his ardour.

“Poe.” you venture delicately. “I don’t know how to thank you. I could try and thank you for today, but it wouldn’t be enough. I don’t know how to thank you for being everything that you are. For just being who you are.”

Your eyes glisten with tears, which causes Poe’s eyebrows to knit together with heaviness. “You don’t have to thank me.” he insists, gingerly bringing the pad of his thumb up to brush your cheek. “I’d been trying to find the words to tell you that things could be good again. That you weren’t alone. But it turns out there are some things words are just no good for. So, I wanted to show you things can be good. And...” Poe hesitates, becoming uncharacteristically shy. “...if you’ll let me... I want to keep showing you.”

You smile softly, suddenly lost for words yourself. But maybe words aren’t what’s needed right now; only dancing. The dance of his fingertips over your jaw, the quickstep of your heart. With his hands on you, it as if he is working a sweet melody down his arms and spreading its warm, dulcet tones throughout your body. It feels increasingly like you’re melting in to one another, into one song, your hands sliding up a little further into his hair, his hands exploring gentle circles on your back, your need evident and in sync as you both build towards the swell of the refrain.

Then, quite simply, Poe tucks his hand under your chin and tips your lips up towards his. He searches your eyes for a moment before asking: “Can I kiss you?”

There’s nothing that could pull you apart from Poe in this moment. You feel as if your lips are an instrument with which you seek to compose harmonious music. As if you have all manner of crochets and minims and quavers in your mouth which his tongue could bend into a song for your heart to sing. “Not if I kiss you first.”

Then, quite simply, you spin the pilot, pinning him up against the ladder of his X-wing as your mouth meets his in a crush. You are very pleased to learn how much Poe leads with his tongue, and you dissolve into this kiss.

Maybe one day if the war was ever over, you would tell people; it was horrible and sad and monstrous, yes. But at least you could also tell them; sometimes, there was still dancing. Sometimes, there was still music.

As you break apart from Poe, your heart is beating fast. Poe smiles contentedly and pulls you into an embrace, squeezing you firmly and leaning your head against his chest. You hear his heart pounding with equal ferocity to yours.

Finally, you believe that things can be good. That you’re not alone. You’ve been dancing a duet all along. You don’t know the names of all of the rhythms to say if it’s a bossa nova or a tango or something else. But you know for sure that his heart is dancing for joy. Just like yours is.

THE END

Like this? I hope the story brought you some joy and that’s more than enough. However, if you do have the energy and inclination, I would love to hear from you! Feedback in an ask or comment genuinely makes my day! ILY.

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#poe dameron x reader #poe dameron fluff #poe dameron fic #star wars x reader #poe dameron #poe dameron x reader fluff #poe x reader #poe x you #poe dameron drabble #poe dameron imagine #poe dameron request #sw #star wars fic

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tumbling-odyssey · 4 years

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Games I played in 2020

Just felt like getting my thoughts out on all the games I played this year. I’ve been wanting to do something like this for years but I always let it pass me by. Well not this year! Fuck you laziness!

I played the first half in 2019 but finished it in 2020 so I guess I'll count it. DQ11 was my intro to Dragon Quest and what a good starting point. I'm not exaggerating when I say this is one of the best traditional JRPGs on the market. Characters, story, combat, it all clicks in just the right way to make a flawless game... until the end credits roll that is.

I have no idea what happened with the post game but by god does it dive off a cliff. It undermines everything you worked to do in the main plot. The characters act brain dead and it shamelessly reuses events from the main game. Please pick up and play DQ11 but for the love of god just stop when the credits roll.

Doom is a game I knew I'd like. The heavy metal ascetic and soundtrack were right up my alley, but I just never found the time. With Eternal on the way though and having found it on the cheap at a pawn shop I figured there was no time like the present. Needless to say but I was right. I loved everything about this game. The thrill of combat, the screech of the guitars, and the silent take no shit attitude of Doomguy. Make no mistake though, I SUCK at this game. I played on easy but still got my ass handed to me on the regular. But I don't care, I was having way to much fun.

I flipped my shit when this game got leaked at the tail end of 2019. Zero 3 is my all time favourite game. To celebrate this getting announced I went and 100% Zero 3 as I hadn't done it on my current cart, and Zero 3 was still the first thing I played when I got this collection! I love that game to death and I’m glad to have it on modern consoles again. As I was under a bit of time crunch with other games releasing soon I only played 2 other games in the collection Zero 4 and ZX Advent. Until the DS collection those and 3 were the only Zero/ZX games I had so I have a lot of nostalgia for them.

Zero 4 hold ups better then I remember. Not as good as 3 but a damn solid game with tweaks I honestly wish hit the series before its end. I remember having issues with the stage design and ya it’s not perfect, but it’s far from as bad as I thought. For ZXA this was the first time I beat the game on normal difficulty. For some reason the ZX games have always given me more trouble than the Zero games, so finally beating one on normal was very exciting. Maybe I can now finally go and beat ZX for the first time...

The Mystery Dungeon series rising from the depth to punch all those unexpecting in the face was a very welcome surprise. I had a lot of hype going into this one as I have very fond memories of my time with Red Rescue Team and even more with Explorers of Darkness. And the game lived up to it! The remastered music is great and crazy nostalgic, the 3D models are well used and don't feel as stiff as they do in the core series, and the QOL changes are near perfect... So why did I drop this game like a rock once I finished the main quest?

Anyone familiar with Mystery Dungeon will know that the post game is the real meat of it. The story is short and all the really cool shit comes in after it's done. But I just couldn't bring myself to put more time in after I finished said story mode. I'm definitely chocking that up to me just not being in the mood then an issue with the game. Here's hoping we get an Explorers DX sometime soon. That will fucking hook me for all it's got.

Second verse same as the first. I loved this game and sucked at it horribly. Out of all the games I've played this year Doom Eternal is the one I want to go back to the most. I was not the hugest fan of some of the changes made and retained a stance that I liked 2016 better. First person platforming has never been a fun experience in my opinion and Eternal did little to change that. And I know this a lukewarm take at best but fuck Marauders!. They are so unfun to fight and ruin the pace. The Marauder in the last mook wave took me so long I was worried I wouldn’t be able to finish the game. But the more I've seen of Eternal after my playthrough makes me think I was being far to harsh. I haven't played the DLC yet either. Mostly cuss I haven't heard great things about it. Gonna wait for the rest of it to come out to see if it's worth getting. Might just replay to whole game at that point to see if it clicks with me better.

This was my second favourite game of the year, and was going to take the top slot until a certain other game came out. Addressing the elephant in room right away, I hated the ending. But I was expecting something like that, I think we all were. I won't let the ending ruin the rest of the game though. Not gonna let 1 segment colour everything that came before it. We have to see how the later parts play out to truly see if this ending was trash or not anyway.

It took Square over a decade but they finally got an action RPG battle system that works and feels good to play. This may be my favourite battle system in an RPG period honestly. All four characters are a blast and it only gets better the more time you spend with it. Figuring out the nuances of each character’s skills and how to combine them not only with the skills of the others but how to enhance them with the right Materia set. This makes fights thrilling and satisfying when you finally best whatever was giving you trouble. Tis was the best way to bring 7′s mechanics into the modern landscape while also fixing the BIGGEST issue the OG had. The fact every character feels the same aside from Limit Breaks.

All this on top of graphics that just look fucking stunning, a few glitched out doors aside. Fuck I still feel blown away looking at the characters models (mostly Tifa) and see how god damn pretty everyone is. Also Tifa’s Chinese dress is gift from the Gods and I still haven’t picked my jaw up from the floor after I first saw it.

In my circle of the internet there was a lot of hype for this game. So much so that I ended up buying it to see what all the hubbub was about. I had never played a Streets of Rage game before and my only experience with beat'em ups was playing a LOT of Scott Pilgrim and last year's River City Girls. Turns out Streets of Rage plays quite a bit different and it kicked my ass! So sadly I had to switch to easy to make it through but I still had a fun time with it.

I started playing mostly as Blaze but once Adam hit the scene oooooh fucking boy. I didn’t play anyone else. There's a deceptive amount of content in this game. You can unlock almost every character from the previous games and all of them rocking their original sprites and moves. If I had more of a connection with this series I'm sure I would have gone nuts on unlocking everything. I stopped after my one playthrough and I was happy with that. Always glad to support a long overdue franchise revival.

To properly talk about P5R I think I need to air a lot of my feelings on the original game and the importance it has to me. You see, prior to 2017 I barely played games, only sticking to specific franchises. AKA Pokemon and Mega Man/Mega Man like games. Until 2016 though I still bought a lot of games. Eating up Steam sales and deals I found at pawn shops. This lead to a Steam library and shelf filled with games I've never touched outside of maybe an hour or 2. So in 2016 when I took interest in the newly released Kirby Planet Robobot I made a deal with myself. I could get the game but I HAD to beat it. And I did just that, gaining not just a new fav Kirby game but a new rule for game purchases. If I knew I wouldn't beat a game I was not aloud to buy it. Now what does ANY of this have to do with P5 you may ask? Well... almost everything.

I was immediately interested in P5 when it hit the west in 2017. I loved the 20 or so hours I but into P3 years ago and really liked the P4 anime I had watched around the same time. So of course with all the hype around it I wanted to dive into the series full force with P5. But I knew myself. Putting over 100 hours into a game was beyond me and I had a weird relationship with home console games as I was predominately a handheld gamer. Add in the fact I didn't even have a PS4 and I was convinced P5 would be something I always wanted to play, but never would. So when I went to the mall with a few friends and they showed me that P5 had a PS3 version, I had a dilemma on my hands. I knew I wanted to play it and I now had a way to do so. But doing that would require me to change 2 HUGE hang ups I had with games. Would I being willing to waste 60 bucks with so much working against me? Apparently I was. I immediately started going to town on this game. Making sure I spent no less then 2 hours a day playing NO MATTER WHAT. Which may not seem like a lot but it was to me... at the time.. I also had just moved to my current house, so coming home from my still relatively new job and going straight into P5 was the first real routine I formed during this heavily transitional part of my life.

I of course ended up loving P5 and put 200 hours into it. As such my outlook on gaming was forever changed. Console games were no longer out of reach and I knew I could handle playing monster length game. I started playing way more games then I ever did before and trying out generas I never thought I would play. P5 is the main reason for this and why I'm able to make a post like this. To actually touch on Royal though? It's unarguably the better version of the game and Atlus learned all the right lessons from P4G. The new characters are great and the added section at the end is possibly the best shit Atlus has ever written. I only wish Yoshizawa joined the party sooner so I could play as her more.

The release of this really came out of nowhere huh? Wayforward announced it was being made mid way through 2019, then there was its weird half release on the Apple store... and then suddenly it was out! Very little fanfare for this one. Is that indicative of the games quality? Luckily no. Seven Sirens is a solid addition to the series and follows up Half Genies Hero nicely. The game goes back to Shantae's Metroidvania roots and makes a TON of improvements.

Transformations are now instant instead of having to dance for them (don't worry dancing is still in the game) making the game feel more like Pirates Curse in its fast flow. They also added the Monster Cards which take heavy inspiration from Aria of Sorrow's Soul system. A feature I'm happy to see in any Metroidvania since Aria is one of my all time favourite games. Sadly though the game does not take the best advantage of these improvements.

Over all the game feels kinda empty. The dungeons aren't super exciting to explore nor are they challenging in any way. And the plot is very repetitive, with each dungeon repeating the same beats. Really this game feels more like set up for a better game down the line. The mechanics are all here and Wayforward has a solid art style with the sprites from Half Genie Hero. Hopefully they capitalizes on this for Shantae 6 and we get the best game in the series.

While it may not have been the most thrilling game, Seven Sirens really put me into a Shantae mood. So much so that I went back to play the 2 games in the series I had never touched. This being the first game and Risky's Revenge. Shantae 1 really is a hidden gem in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, it's the definition of jank, but there's a lot of heart to this game. The sprites are great, the soundtrack is good, and the characters are funny... but it's still on the OG Gameboy and that's a massive hindrance for any game. I'm hard pressed to recommend this with how poorly its aged but I think it's better then it looks.

Risky's Revenge on the other hand was a game that shocked me by how little it had to offer. I know this game went through a hellish development and what we got was far from what Wayforward planned to make, but it's hard to imagine a world where this was the technical BEST Shantae game. It's not a bad game by any stretch... just a boring one.

For the record my ranking of the games goes Pirates Curse>Half Genie Hero>Seven Sirens>Original>Risky’s Revenge

Sword and Shield are mediocre games at best. I know, real steaming hot take there. I managed to make my Sword playthrough a lot more fun by not spoiling myself on the new Pokemon designs for the first time since Gen 3. Either way, I enjoyed myself enough that I didn't mind playing more of it with these DLC campaigns. Plus I love the idea of Game Freak switching over to this method as apposed to making a third version, so I wanted to support it.

Klara is a fucking top tier Poke Girl both in design and personality and is probably the highlight of Isle of Armour. GF actually went out of their way to give her multiple expressions to sell her toxic bitch personality and I love every minute of it. She sadly drifts into the background for the second half of the DLC’s story which hurts an already rough section even more. Not more then having to grind Kubfuu all the way to fucking level 70 though! That put a serious hamper on my motivation to finish the story but I pushed through anyway. Having to solo the tower with Kubfuu was at least a fun challenge though, as was the final fight with Mustard. Fuck the Diglett hunt though. Ain’t no one got time for that.

Crown Tundra may be my fav of the 2 though even if there isn't a character as good as Klara in it. The hunt for the legendaries was just pure adventure and I had a fucking blast doing it. The joy I felt when I figured out Registeel’s puzzle put a smile on my face unlike any Pokemon game since I was a kid. The whole Regi stuff was honestly a nice Nostalgia trip to my times with Emerald. The story around Calyrex was enjoyable, even if I still hate its design. Not revealing the horses before release was a good call to as it gave an honest surprise. Having to chase down the Galar forme Birds in the overworld is a great way to evolve the roaming legendaries idea and I hope GF sticks to this. Plus the Galar forme birds are some of the best legendary designs since Gen 5 and I love Chocodos way to fucking much.

Here we are folks, my GotY. I love Panzer Paladin so fucking much. A combination of mechanics from Mega Man, Castlevania, and Blaster Master? Sign me the fuck up! This game is tailored made for me and I knew I had to play it once it started making the rounds on social media. I'll admit though, I was a bit worried when the the first full trailer dropped and showed the weapon mechanics. Breakable weapons that you have to sacrifice for checkpoints and power ups? I'm not sure about that.... Luckily I was being a complete moron and those mechanics are near perfect.

I love the set up of each boss being a mythological creature from different cultures. They didn’t just pull the easy ones either. A lot of these things I learned of for the first time here. I love how Grit controls. Using the upward stab as a double jump and being able to pogo off enemies Shovel Knight style just felt great and satisfying. Flame was limited but it made her sections feel tense. She does more damage then you think she could at first glance. Also the only way to heal Grit being to use pods that only Flame could access was a cool idea.

I am begging you Tribute Games, you have to make more Panzer Paladin games. Slap some new upgrades on Grit and expand what Flame can do and you have an even better sequel on your hands. Also maybe not have so many 'gotcha' moments with enemy placement. That's really my only complaint about the game. Great music, great sprites, giant robots, unique premise, and a reference to Canadian legends. The ultimate self indulgent game for me.

It felt super out of left field for Curse of the Moon to be getting a sequel. The games fucking amazing but it was really just a tie in for the main Bloodstained product. Not something I expect to get a continuation. Either way I was pumped. If this was even half as good as the original then I was in for a great time. Which held true... cuss this legitimately is only half as good as Curse of the Moon. I still like the game, quite a lot actually. I mean how could I not with a fucking Corgi piloting a Death Train Mech.

Something was just missing here that never made this click like the first game. Maybe it was the stage design, maybe the bosses, maybe the fact that it's a bit to long. I'm not sure. All I know is I couldn't bring myself to play all the modes like I did in the original. . Stopping part way in to the one where you can get the first games characters. I want to go back some day... I just don’t know when someday is.

This was an announcement I never saw coming. A Gundam Verses game coming to the west? That hasn't happened in the entire time I've been a Gundam fan. I had played a bit of Full Boost on my old roommates PS3 thanks to him having a Japanese account and I played Force on the Vita a few years ago. But to have the latest version fully translated with open servers? Holy hell that's a dream come true.

Having the open betas every weekend leading up to launch was some much needed fun during this shit hole year. I had a lot of fun just fucking around with different suits and seeing what I could do with 'em. Absolutely trashing two Bael players as the Kapool is a memory I'll keep with me for a long time. Fucking danced on their graves. This gave me some new appreciation for suits like the Baund Doc and Hambrabi, the later becoming a lowkey fav as it was my main.

I've fallen off with the game in the last few months but I definitely want to go back. I hope to start learning the game and take parts in tourneys when cons aren’t death sentences anymore.

It felt like everything in my life was SCREAMING at me to start the Yakuza series. From 2 of my friends playing 0 recently, a youtuber I following live tweeting as he played through the WHOLE series back-to-back, and Yakuza 2 having a run at AGDQ 2020. Plus the constant pleas to play this series you get from following Little Kuriboh on Twitter. I finally broke and picked up 0 in the middle of August. Boooooooooy howdy did I not know what I was getting in to. And no I don't mean the content. I knew Yakuza was a series of wildly conflicting tones between the main story and side quests. What I mean is the length. I legit thought this was gonna be a 20-30 hour game. When i reached hour 30 of my playthrough and realized I wasn't even close to a conclusion, I think I knew I had bitten off more then I was planning. That misstep aside I ended up loving this game and want to play the rest of the series.... I just need to rest up first before I dive into Kiwami 1.

Let's actually talk about the game for a moment here. Kiryu and Majima quickly clicked as likeable characters to me and I cared about their stories. Combat is fun and the multiple styles are all great.... though both the default styles take a while to get there. The mad rush I felt at the end was fantastic and the last bosses are a joy to fight. Only real complaint is the pacing of the side stories. I loved being able to just stumble into various different events while on route to the next plot objective. But this became less common as the game went on and side stories started getting more tucked away. Also hot take here, the host club mingame is more tedious then fun and I like Kiryu’s business stuff as I could do that in the background. I’m excited to dive into Kiwami and probably Kiwami 2 this year... Though I’m not sure when just yet.

Just gonna say it flat out, I think this is better the the 2018 game. The smaller scale helps in this style of game and Miles just naturally has a better move set then Peter. I'm not sure if they actually tightened up the combat system or if they just threw less bullshit enemies at you but fighting feels so much better in this one. Traversal is better too, simply because they changed the button for tricks. In the original you have to hold down 2 face buttons to enter trick mode??? In hindsight that was such a bad call.

Having both the heal and venom powers run off the same meter was a good idea. Making the choice between keeping yourself alive guaranteed or potentially ending a fight quicker/disposing of a problem enemy is super fun. The player having to make small choices like this during combat is what helps it not be brainless. I love all the different venom skills you get. While they all achieve the same thing in stunning opponents, how you achieve that goal is up to you. Do you want to just slug the bastard, throw 'em up in the air, tackle the shit out of them? The choice is yours.

Only real big complaint is certain upgrades being NG+ locked. I know you want to encourage replays, but this is a shitty way to do it I feel. Also can we retire Rhino for the next game. Man has had 2 shitty boss fights now and I need a break. Between this and Spider-Verse, I'm honestly starting to like Miles as Spider-Man more then Peter.

I got this game more on a whim then anything. I was definitely interested when it was first announced for the west. Vanillaware's beautiful art style in a story about giant robots beating the shit out of Kaijus? Sign me the fuck uuuuuu-oh wait it's an RTS? I had never played an RTS's before, mainly due to the sheer concept stressing me out. So I let it fall to the wayside. The game started coming up again though towards the end of the year with GotY on everyone's minds. This revived my interest, especially as what I HAD planned to be playing around that time was... well. Cyberpunk. Don't think I need to say much more. Also I had worried for nothing as the Real Time Strategy was not that Real Time.

This game really lays on the analysis paralysis once you're out of the tutorial. Do you want to fight, do you want to do story, who's story do you want to do, what branch should you follow, how much should you play with this one character? It's very overwhelming at first. I decided to not go ham on just one character and swap around all the time. The twists in this game are equal parts exciting and infuriating. Learning something new always came with the caveat of more questions, or something you knew 'for sure' being disproven. Like when I learned 1 characters was actually 4 separate ones! Anyone that's played knows exactly what I'm talking about.

Natsuno ended up being my fav and not just because of.... obvious reasons. BJ was cute if unfortunately named and her relationship with Mirua was my favourite in the game. Not that there was much competition except for maybe Ogata and Tomi. I ended up really liking the combat but I can see why RTS fans say it's the weakest part. It's far from complex and I had a winning strat by the third or so real fight. Aka spam turrets and have the Gen 1′s gank all the bosses.

One quick thing I want to share was how I beat the boss at the end of Area 2. The one where Inaba is singing. I had Hijiyama use the limit break skill to bum rush the boss right off the hop. I took out half its health in one hit but Hijiyama’s Sentinel was on death’s door. Only thing that saved him was sending in Amaguchi to blow up a bunch of missiles. Hijiyama took it out on his next attack but lost his Sentinel at the same time. It was a real clutch victory and crazy fucking anime.

The best way to really describe Carrion is that it's a fantastic proof of concept. Can you make a game where you play as The Thing? Why yes, yes you can. Carrion just needed a bit more tweaking to really bring this concept home and be the A+ game I know it can be. As it is now the game is a bit empty. The level design is super samey and the lack of a map is fucking brutal at points. I know it would make no sense for a blob monster to have a map but somethings you just have to gameify for convenience. The level design must have done something right as even though I was completely lost I still moved from area to area properly. Hell by the time I actually looked up a map I had 1 more item to get and I learned I was one door away from beating the game.

I love the idea of losing mass as you take damage and gaining more by eating people, but having abilities tied to size was a terrible idea. It just leads to tedium as I have to go and shed myself to the right size, do the puzzle, then of course I'm going to go back and rebuild myself to see if I can do the next segment at full power. Just make it so you can swap between abilities using the d-pad or something. I hope this game gets a sequel just so this sick ass concept can be fully realized.

#games #goty #Final Fantasy #pokemon #spiderman #yakuza #gundam #bloodstained #panzer paladin #shantae #persona #streets of rage #doom #mega man #dragon quest #13 sentinels: aegis rim #carrion

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masterweaverx · 4 years

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I’ve decided that the main characters of "My Next Life As A Villainess” can have D&D classes! So here we go. Big thanks to 5Etools for helping me out with this!

Katarina Claes: Kalashtar Redemption Paladin. Nobody said holy warriors had to be smart!

In all seriousness, Paladins of 5E are charisma-based “Half-casters,” which means they mix melee with magic. And it’s easy enough to reflavor a lot of D&D spells as “Oh, yeah, this character just happens to know X random thing or can talk so convincingly!” (Or the character doesn’t realize they’re doing magic, which would be so Katarina.) Plus the Redemption oath just fits so well for the girl, both thematically and mechanically. Throw on Strength-based combat skills because of years of farming and sword-training... it’s pretty obvious.

As to the race choice, the Kalashtar are a third-party Eberron race that are described as being “a fusion of humans and beings from the realm of dreams.” Which hey, what else would you call somebody who remembered their past life? And from a mechanical perspective, it would give Katarina resistance to psychic damage (she’s that dense) and automatic advantage on persuasion rolls (she can say just the right thing).

Maria Campbell: Variant Human Life Cleric. A “Well Duh!” if I ever saw one.

Clerics, the traditional healers and support characters in all of roleplaying, are wisdom-based casters in 5E. I was originally considering making Maria a Light cleric but, mechanically, Life clerics are closer to Light magic as portrayed in the series so, yeah, Life.

Variant Humans are the “Pick an ability increase and get a free feat at the start of the game” race, and Maria is sorta kinda the protagonist of the old game? Her player would probably just set herself up to fill in the gaps of the other characters anyway. So yeah.

Mary Hunt: Kaladesh Elf Samurai Fighter. Look, she can be scary, alright?

Fighters can be strength-based OR dexterity-based, and Mary would have a lot of dexterity skill from all the gardening and stuff. A lot of the Fighter perks are basically “No I’m NOT giving up!” which, yeah, fits her well. Being a Samurai not only enhances that, but it gives her perks for certain wisdom traits--Mary is not an idiot by any stretch of the imagination.

Kaladesh elves synch pretty well with this build, giving both Dexterity and Wisdom boosts, but primarily I picked this particular race for the free Druid cantrip in order to represent Mary’s water magic. Still, she would be one to choose to meditate instead of falling asleep, just to keep an eye on... things.

Sophia Ascart: Detection Mark Half-Elf Divination Wizard. She likes them books.

The class side of this was easy. Intelligence-based caster? Wizard. Love of books? Wizard. Not a physical fighter? Wizard. Had a talk with her past self? Divination wizard. What can I say, Sophia is pretty good at being a wizkid.

Race, though... oh, wow. So many options. I went with a Detection Mark Half-Elf because Sophia really, really notices things and that seems to be what that particular race was built for. Plus it’s an Eberron thing, like Katarina’s race, so that’s a past life connection! Yay!

Nicol Ascart: Storm Mark Half-Elf Swashbuckler Rogue. That smile works wonders.

Com on, how couldn’t I make Nicol ‘incapacitates a crowd with a smile’ Ascart a swashbuckler? Plus Rogues are usually known for being the skill class of 5E, doing things handling things that come up in adventures beyond punching monsters. Nicol does seem the most... level-headed of the group, so he would probably be the one to handle the little details.

As for race, I’ll admit I went with the ‘Sophia’s a half-elf so Nicol’s also a half-elf!’ route. But Storm Mark Half-Elves do come with a lot of wind-based magic, which not only fits canon but also enhances what Nicol could do as a rogue. Admittedly he would have to multiclass slightly to get at most of it, but hey, Gust is a cantrip and the other spells are there for him if he ever does.

Keith Claes: Fierna Tiefling Monster Slayer Ranger. Friendly, but dangerous.

Rangers are another half-caster class, and one with many ‘summon allies’ sort of spells. Sure, they’re technically animals instead of earth elementals, but I do subscribe to the ‘reflavor is fine!’ school of thought so Keith can have his dolls come out when he casts Conjure Animals. The Monster Slayer subclass is built around countering and containing dangerous beings... like, say, Keith himself? Oh, wow, I just picked it because it looked cool. Huh.

And why is Keith a Tiefling? In another life, he was a playboy, so of COURSE he’s going to get a charisma-boost race! A resistance to fire damage makes him perfect for, ah, interrupting a certain prince’s advances. And Fierna Tieflings get spells based around convincing people of things, like Friends and Charm Person, and there’s a certain dense girl in Keith’s life that needs a little guidance.

Geordo Stuart: Gold Standard Dragonborn Draconic Sorcerer. BURN BABY BURN!

Sorcerers are one of the charisma-based casters, with the idea that they have magic IN THEIR BLOOOOOD so they can, you know, cast without needing to do all that silly Study business. Plus they get some of their subclass stuff right off the bat, and Draconic Sorcerers get extra hitpoints every level. Geordo may not use his magic often, but it’s implied that as a royal his magic is redonkulously powerful, so this? This was basically set in stone.

And why did I make the prince a dragonborn? Why, because DRAGONS ARE AWESOME. Look, I don’t make the rules. More seriously, basic dragonborn have a charisma boost, strength boost, and a breath weapon. Admittedly this would probably make Geordo look a LOT different, but what the hey.

Alan Stuart: Silver Draconblood Dragonborn Lore Bard. He knows things so you don’t have to.

Bards are the other charisma-based casters, and a lot more support-based then sorcerers. Plus they’re good musicians, which fits Alan to a T! Lore Bards lean heavily into the ‘Jack Of All Trades’ mindset, with bonus proficiencies and extra magic secrets, because there was that competitive ‘I will best you some way!’ streak early on and that did lean into ‘I’ll learn all I can’ later in his life.

As to why he’s a draconblood dragonborn instead of a standard dragonborn? Draconbloods get an intelligence boost instead of a strength boost, and also get the trait Forceful Presence instead of Damage Resistance. He might not be able to do as much damage as his twin, but Alan is really good at getting attention and using it.

Anne Shelly: Standard Human Open Hand Monk. Somebody has to clean up after these kids!

Monks excel not just in unarmed combat, but in unarmed ‘getting places nobody thinks about’ as well as ‘keeping a cool head when everything goes nuts.’ And the Open Hand Monk doubles down on that, throwing in the ability to basically say “Stop That” whenever needed. This is perfect for Anne “My Mistress Is The Source Of All Chaos” Shelly, wouldn’t you say?

And yeah, she’s a Standard Human. In 5E Standard humans don’t get any special traits, but they do get +1 to every one of their abilities. That’s a small but significant boost to all rolls and a number of stats. Don’t underestimate Anne; she may be in the background, but she’s in the background of Madness and it takes a lot to survive that.

Rafael Walt: Fallen Aasimar Great Old One Warlock. Retired Edgelord.

Warlocks are, ah, not the easiest class to play. They’ve got a lot of special mechanics about their spells, having fewer slots but easier time restoring them. But they do also get a few free invocations, and their patrons can let them spread into different specializations. Rafael knows how to use his magic to the best he can, and... well, the Great Old One patron features just fit what he can do very well.

Aasimar have charisma boosts and darkness resistance universally, but Fallen Aasimar also come with a transformation into a terrifying shadow warrior. Look, Rafael's been through a lot, I’ll grant you. He probably deserves a break. But both thematically and mechanically, this just fits.

===

So that’s that! For now, anyway! Thoughts and opinions are always welcome.

#My Next Life As A Villainess #d&d 5e #Katarina Claes #Maria Campbell #Mary Hunt #Sophia Ascart #Nicol Ascart #Keith Claes #Geordo Stuart #Alan Stuart #Anne Shelly #Rafael Walt #I put way too much thought into this

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jq37 · 4 years

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The Royal Report– A Crown of Candy Ep 10 Blood and Bread

Come Together

Welcome back and I hope you took advantage of the opportunity to catch your breath because the Rocks family is granted no such reprieve. Fresh off the heels of Jet’s tragic murder by Ciabatta and Calroy answering the question of whether a cake can coup, we pick back up with Theo who’s foiled his imprisonment by making use of the skills Lazuli taught him and magically busting down the door. Then, he makes use of his other knight skills and absolutely eviscerates the shocked guards outside.

He runs for the King’s quarters and, obviously, doesn’t find Amethar as he’s in a smoking crater outside, but he does run into Caramelinda who he immediately informs of the situation as best he can. Cara is confused, even as guards (Cal’s men) show up and start firing on them. She tries to get them to stop on her royal authority but Theo hears a lot more soldiers coming on a Nat 20 Insight and is like, “We need to go.” Cara does her own Insight check and has the good sense to follow him.

They run and Theo takes her into a little secret door in one of the hallways. Just in time too, because Cal walks by all camp-y kids movie villain, clearly telegraphing his intention to kill Cara, and tries drawing her out by saying some bait-y stuff about Amethar but Theo says they should ignore it and they escape down a spiral staircase instead of confronting Cal.

Meanwhile, Ruby (still Invisible) runs across the bridge, feels Jet pass, and keeps running, all the way to the standing stones of the Sugar Plum Fairy.

“Bring her back,” she demands, tearfully. “I know you can bring her back. What is the point of having magic if I can’t bring her back. Please.”

The SPF appears and gently says that the nature of the world is such that she can’t bring Jet back. However, it may be possible to bring them to Jet. Go north to the Stone Candy Mountain, she says. That’s where she is and where her sister is waiting.

Ruby then sneaks her way back to the castle, and sees Kerradin on his way there with about 30 knights. On double Nat 20s, when she gets to the castle, she clocks her dad immediately. Cumulous (who was also in the general area Ruby just came from and can now see where she is based on the glow of her magic, though he doesn’t know it’s her) also sees Amethar. Ruby, horrified at the thought of losing both her sister and father within about five minutes, runs to him.

Liam, still in the lingerie shop, hears Ciabatta wonder where the “witch boy” (Liam himself) went and also gives away some plot info for free: Alfredi has been hanged and she was apparently the only person skilled enough to make watersteel daggers. They’re fresh out. They leave and Liam pops out of the Rope Trick. He checks the glowing chest and sees that all that’s in there is a glowing rock--ambush bait. He then wraps Jet’s body in tasteful lingerie (sure), puts it in a cabinet for later retrieval, and takes her sword and locket for Ruby before stealthing away to find the others.

Amethar, fallen but not Fallen, unsteadily picks himself up, just in time to see the magic glow of his invisible daughter’s footsteps approaching him. “Pops, it’s me,” she says, voice wavering. “I think Jet is dead.” Amethar gives her a huge dad hug as she channels some of his barbarian energy, vowing to kill whoever did this, and their children, and drown their lands. The very stealthy Liam and Cumulous also show up for this--Liam joining the hug and Cumulous just announcing his presence awkwardly when his name is mentioned.

Liam lets them know where Jet’s body is and also gives Jet’s things to Ruby. Ruby takes the sword but haltingly insists that Liam keep the locket--it won’t work alone, and besides, Jet would want him to have it.

Cara and Theo pop out of the secret tunnel and the kids instantly Perception/Insight check her (no doubt feeling burned after Cal’s betrayal). Ruby, on a 23, gets nothing sinister--it’s just her extremely freaked out mom. With that reassurance, she reveals that Jet is dead and Liam chimes in that it was Ciabatta and his men. Liam accusatorily mentions the letter that got them ambushed and Cara claims to not only not know about the letter, but to not know the lingerie lady at all.

Ruby lets everyone know that Kerradin is on his way and Cara says that most of the Castle Candy soldiers have been sent to Castle Many Licks on Cal’s orders. It’s mainly just Cal’s men in the castle--the castle that is currently being redecorated with House Cruller banners. Translation: They’re F’d.

Amethar remembers that Manta Ray Jack is still in the harbor and--after talking Liam out of going rogue and tracking Kerradin--the group decides getting to him and making a break for it is the best bet. They pick a path that will go past the lingerie shop so they can pick up Jet’s body on the way.

They see torches being lit and hear dogs--clearly a search party coming for them--so Ruby uses Prestidigitation to scent the path with anise so the dogs will be confused (which Brennan rewards with disadvantage on tracking checks). Ruby and Amethar are both mortally wounded, but they decide that getting away ASAP is a better option than waiting to tend to their wounds. They roll initiative and head off.

The Sweet Escape

This is another unusual combat episode from Crown of Candy. There’s not so much brawling as there is running and trying to avoid fighting. I don’t think a play by play will be very interesting, so I’ll just give a quick rundown of the highlights.

The mechanics of this is it’s basically a series of group stealth checks until they get to where they’re going. Ruby still has 25 mins left on her invisibility and Brennan lets her cast Mage Hand with a 1st level spell slot to keep Theo’s armor from clinking and giving him disadvantage for seven rounds.

They fail their first round of checks and are spotted by hot-hounds (hot dog hounds, of course). Cumulous tells the group to keep going and he stays behind to handle it. He kills the dogs (yay?) but alerts other guards in doing so. Liam, with his crossbow, headshots the guard about to make trouble for Cumulous and then Cumulous steals his chariot.

Ruby, cantrip master, uses her Mage Hand (feeling a kiss on her cheek as she does) to hold a lantern and send it in a different direction, creating more confusion for the people tracking them.

Cumulous, on a Nat 20 Animal Handling check, fully on purpose (and after taking a bunch of damage from being fired on by ballista) drives the chariot off a cliff.

We’ll get back to that.

Liam, four rounds in, remembers that, oh yeah, he *does* have Pass Without Trace which gives +10 to all stealth checks--a little late but a game changer nonetheless. As he casts it, Cumulous feels the call of something like the Hungry One but not the Hungry One and Liam feels that same weird magical feeling he did running from the Cathedral in Comida.

Cumulous, as he rockets off the cliff (killing the horses in a very Hardwon Surefoot move), uses Fluffwind (his staff) to cast Gaseous Form--dropping his speed to a snail’s pace but saving his candy bacon.

The rest of the group does stealth checks until they make it to Dulcington. Ruby sets a tent on fire with her lantern as a distraction and all of them have to cross a river (the bridge is occupied by guards). Ruby gets a Nat 1 and falls in but Liam gets a Nat 20 and helps her across.

Unfortunately, the initial splash into the river alerted guards and they’re run up on by Ceresian soldiers. But, really, it’s more of a minor annoyance. Between Peppermint Batman critting, Ruby doing some sniping (losing her Invisibility in the process), Theo desperate to not see another Rocks dead on his watch, and Amethar in a full dad-rage, these guys are dead before they even have a chance to attack.

Cumulous drops Gaseous Form and anime sprints back to the gang.

Amethar and Liam grab Jet’s body and then run for the harbor with the others. Theo Messages Jack to get the ship ready because they’re gonna be there in a minute and they need to go NOW.

Enemy archers fire on them but they ignore it and just keep running. When they show up, Jack is confused but they’re like, “Sail now, questions later.”

Brennan says there’s no way they’re gonna get the ship going before soldiers catch up with them but he obviously didn’t count on Amethar going into a rage and just pushing the boat himself, snapping the mooring keeping it docked. As soldiers ride up on them, Ruby uses Mage Hand to help with the few remaining ropes and Theo casts Knock to undo the reins on one of the horses, sending the mounted soldier flying.

They narrowly escape up the river, and that’s where we end our episode.

Thing I’m Concerned About

This is something I mentioned as an aside in the last recap and it seems that it’s become relevant so I’ll be more explicit now. When the tear-away lingerie came up in episode one, it seemed like it was news to Cara (and I’m sure Brennan too because it was obv off the cuff). But last episode, the letter they got seemed to indicate that she was in cahoots with that person. But then in this episode, after a pretty high Insight check that indicated she was on the level, she said he didn’t know about any lingerie lady. Which seems to indicate setup, right? Which would make sense there was nothing at the shop and assassins waiting (assassins who seemed unsurprised to see the kids and not her for what it’s worth). But the way they got the letter, with Cara leaving the room, it seems like she would have seen it. So was that even really her? Is there a bad guy walking around with Disguise Self? If so, Bad! Also Bad! if she actually does turn out to be bad and it was like a DC 30 Insight check to find out, “Surprise! Your mom has been secretly evil this whole time!” Cara calls Ciabatta Imperator before she gets that info and idk if that’s Brennan misspeaking or A Clue and it *better* be the first because I don’t have the energy for *another* betrayal right now. It does seem like exactly the kind of thing you’d use in story to bait the twins if you knew them though, right? Like anyone who even sorta knew them (but especially someone who really knew them like Cal--was he there for that lingerie conversation in episode 1?) would know that was surefire twin-bait.

Don’t love that the SPF is, with different faces and different tactics, corralling everyone to the Mountains. I don’t know what her game is but I Do Not Trust fae. Also, maybe I’m being paranoid but when the SPF said, “Your sister is waiting,” I def had a burst of...your sister as in Jet or your sister as in this bastard child who we know nothing about? Wouldn’t that be such a dirty trick? To skirt fae lying rules (idk if they exist in this world) by talking about Jet a bunch and then saying, “Your sister is waiting,” about a totally different (half) sister?

So who all is working together? Cal last week said he was working with Alfredi and Ciabatta was also working with Alfredi. Plus, Kerradin was there (which, sidenote, WILD. Did Alfredi just take all the heat or something?). But I can't imagine everyone’s goals are fully synced. Ciabatta seems to mostly care for his own power. The Pontifex wants the Ramsian Doctrine fulfilled presumably which puts her at cross-purposes to Cal. What’s everyone’s game here. Is any of this stuff just happening independently of the others and Amethar just has hella enemies/has just lost Concord protection?

All this “like the Hungry One but not the Hungry One” stuff has me suspicious. People have mentioned to me that the noises that Brennan makes when he brings that up are kinda snorty and pig-like which raises two possibilities. It could be the vengeful spirit of Preston--which would go with the ice motif since he’s a peppermint pig and we all know peppermint is the cold magic of candy. It could also be related to the Great Boar of the Meatlands. I can see a pig spirit showing favor to an angry kid who took good care of his best pig friend who then tragically died, even with the cross-food barrier. Idk, we’ll see how this goes.

Ruby, my girl, please don’t do anything rash in your grief. You’re 1000% valid but please stay as levelheaded as you can.

Five More Things

Lol at Ally very confidently saying they don’t have Pass Without a Trace even after being reminded of it and then three turns later being like wait nevermind.

Killshot Thompson at it again with those precision voice breaks at all the most heart-crushing times. I would have loved to have seen Emily’s reactions from video village during the scene with Amethar. And then the, “I can’t lose another. Please,” to Liam? Ugh. My heart.

Ally’s “WHY?” when Manta Ray Jack started ringing that bell was beautiful.

“Another secret black woman,” might be the funniest thing Lou has ever said. And he’s said a lot of funny things. He originated, “Somebody call Wizards of the Coast.”

A second set of double Nat 20s from Siobhan! She also did it in Fantasy High Sophomore Year when freeing Fig from mind control. The only other person I think who’s done it is Lou as Fabian during the arcade battle in FH S1. You can’t really tell because of the way I glossed over the nitty gritty of this ep, but the Nat 20s were really out of control this session. It’s just that, as the cast said in Adventuring Party, Nat 20s don’t get you spectacular things this season. They just mean you get to not die that turn.

#dimension 20 #dimension 20 spoilers #a crown of candy #a crown of candy spoilers #the royal report

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paperanddice · 4 years

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Tears of the Crocodile God Part 4

Statues in Stasis

My alternate setup for area 6 is more standard to the immediate suspicion of the room, but means that more of the shields are likely to come into play, and that’s to simply have the statues animate and wield the shields themselves. Some of the shields would need some change to their effect to ensure that they always target the attacker instead of the wielder, but putting those on the monsters means that there’s a higher chance of them activating.

The next issue comes from making sure that the characters can’t just snipe the monsters from outside the room before they activate, and prevent them from just huddling in the doorway. A mechanism for that is to put the statues into a form of stasis until a creature spends a full minute in the room, at which point a number of them activate depending on how many creatures are present. Keeps the challenge properly in line with the number of players, and means that it’s highly unlikely that they’ll be able to easily huddle in a single doorway behind the highest AC members. While in stasis the monsters don’t take any damage from attacks, so shooting and fireballing them doesn’t do anything.

5th Edition

For a 5e version, my two runs used slightly different monster setups. The first was a small number of helmed horrors, the second a large number of slightly boosted animated armor. I feel like a better version would be a combination of the two, using the animated armors to hem in characters while a smaller number of elite helmed horrors use flight to get to vulnerable targets. Both may be a little low leveled compared to the party, but the effects of the shields will help change the tides of the fight a bit, as every missed attack against them has the potential for serious consequences. Give the animated armor +2 AC as long as they keep their shield, and reflavor the helmed horrors’ attacks as a slam instead of a longsword, and there isn’t even a visible difference between them until some start flying and are revealed to have resistances and better hp. Or be fairer and have some kind of distinction the players can recognize once they activate, like the horrors glowing or something. That’s really the better option unless you’re very close with your players and they trust you when you pull some tricks like that, but letting them waste a powerful and limited ability on an animated armor they think has helmed horror stats could be quite frustrating.

13th Age

I don’t know of any really conveniently leveled statues I could really easily slot in to this encounter, and adding some of the spellshatter shield effects to a monster built to function without them could bump up the difficulty a bit more than intended, so I’ll have to customize a few for it.

Child Statue 4th level troop [construct] Initiative +4 Heavy punch +9 vs. AC - 13 damage [special trigger] Spellshatter shield - Make ONE spellshatter shield attack. The statue’s shield disintegrates and it takes a -2 penalty to AC and PD. Limited use: 1/battle, as a free action when an enemy misses the statue with a melee attack and rolls a natural odd attack roll. Collect shield: As a quick action, the statue can equip an unused shield, recharging its spellshatter shield attack and gaining a +2 bonus to AC and PD. AC 21 PD 19 MD 14 HP 55

Empowered Child Statue 5th level blocker [construct] Initiative: +5 Shockingly heavy punch +10 vs. AC - 10 damage plus 5 lightning damage [special trigger] Shatterspell shield - Make ONE shatterspell shield attack. The statue’s shield disintegrates and it takes a -2 penalty to AC and PD. Limited use: 1/battle, as a free action when an enemy misses the statue with a melee attack and rolls a natural odd attack roll or when the statue uses intercept strike. Intercept strike: If a creature engaged with the statue hits another creature with a melee attack, the statue can negate all damage and effects of that attack and immediately make a shatterspell shield attack against the attacking creature as a free action. Collect shield: As a quick action, the statue can equip an unused shield, recharging its spellshatter shield attack and gaining a +2 bonus to AC and PD. AC 22 PD 20 MD 15 HP 75

Teenager Statue 7th level leader [construct] Initiative: +7 Shatterspell punch +12 vs. AC - 25 damage and all nearby statues have +2 to spellshatter shield attacks until the end of the statue’s next turn. Natural 16+: One nearby child statue’s shield reforms if it has been used. The statue recharges its spellshatter shield attack and gains +2 AC and PD. [Special trigger] Spellshatter shield - Make ONE spellshatter shield attack. The statue’s shield disintegrates and it takes a -2 penalty to AC and PD. Limited use: 1/battle, as a free action when an enemy misses the statue with a melee attack and rolls a natural odd attack roll. Collect shield: As a quick action, the statue can equip an unused shield, recharging its spellshatter shield attack and gaining a +2 bonus to AC and PD. AC 24 PD 22 MD 17 HP 110

Hag’s Lair

Statting up Old Beshebra and her sons shouldn’t be too significant of an issue in either system. Beshebra is a modification of one of the standard hag stat blocks, just designed to be a bit filthier and to tie her to her sons a bit more, and the sons themselves are a bunch of big brutes.

5th Edition

None of the released hags in the Monster Manual or Volo’s Guide fit perfectly with Beshebra, but given her shapeshifting and focus on claws the green hag is a good starting point. I used a night hag in my runs just to save time, but that really meant her primary action in both combats was to magic missile from a mud pit rather than actually engage the party, so I’ll level up a green hag, add some gross effects and the son related powers, and we’ve got our filth hag.

Old Beshebra Medium fey, neutral evil Armor Class 18 (natural armor) Hit Points 110 (13d8 + 52) Speed 30 ft. Str 24 (+7) Dex 20 (+5) Con 19 (+4) Int 15 (+2) Wis 13 (+1) Cha 17 (+3) Skills Deception +6, Stealth +8 Senses passive Perception 11 Languages Common, Draconic, Sylvan Challenge 6 (2300 XP) Devour Offspring. As a bonus action, Old Beshebra deals 15 damage to one of her sons within 25 feet of her. She regains 10 hit points. Earth Walk. Difficult terrain composed of rock, mud or similar surfaces doesn't cost Old Beshebra extra movement. Stench. Any creature that starts its turn within 5 feet of Old Beshebra must succeed on a DC 15 Constitution saving throw or be poisoned until the start of its next turn. On a successful saving throw, the creature is immune to Old Beshebra's Stench for 24 hours. Actions Filthy Claws. Melee Weapon Attack: +10 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 16 (2d8+7) slashing damage. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC 15 Constitution saving throw or contract a disease. Until the disease is cured, the target can't regain hit points except by magical means, and the target's hit point maximum decreases by 10 (3d6) every 24 hours. If the target's hit point maximum drops to 0 as a result of this disease, the target dies. Change Shape. Old Beshebra magically polymorphs into a Small or Medium female humanoid, or back into her true form. Any equipment she is wearing or carrying isn't transformed. She reverts to her true form if she dies. Goad Son. Old Beshebra targets one filth hag son she can see within 30 feet of her. If the target can see or hear her, the target can use its reaction to make one melee attack roll with advantage.

As for the sons, a slightly modified shambling mound was the quick and effective solution. Just describe them as including crocodile and human bones and parts within them and you’ve got a filth hag son. Give the hag son the following additional abilities.

The son can understand Old Beshebra but can’t speak. New ability: Son’s Ire. If Old Beshebra is below 55 hit points, and the son can see or hear her within 100 feet, the son has advantage on all attack rolls. New reaction: Silent Fury (Recharge 5-6). If a hostile creature within 20 feet of the son hits Old Beshebra with an attack, the son can move up to its speed and make a slam attack against the triggering creature.

13th Age

The Bestiary has hags in it, and by great fortune they’re at just the right level for our adventure. The main thing is just to pick out the appropriate hag abilities and death curse to inflict upon the party. It may be a bit more work, but I’m actually inclined to give Beshebra a slightly different loadout of abilities depending on how the party encounters her. As a default, weakening touch seems appropriate. Disease, filth, and a deadly touch. If they’re slow and Syere falls victim to the hag, then the Annis skin ability is entirely appropriate, but otherwise she’s not going to be luring them in at all. In that case something like foul-touched may be a good second choice, reflecting what living in a literal pit of toxic mud does to a person. It’s not good. As for the death curse, how about something like, “You came to me and spilled my blood, your boots will always fill with mud.” Frustrating, weird, but not necessarily damaging. Seems to fit the bill.

As an extra skill, the hag could get the following ability: Devour offspring: As a quick action, Old Beshebra deals 20 damage to a nearby filth hag son and regains 15 hit points.

This keeps Beshebra in the fight a little bit longer, but doesn’t extend the length of the entire fight, since the total damage dealt goes up. Of course the hag would be fine with sacrificing her minions.

The sons are best done with a fully customized monster, as nothing in the SRD I’ve found fits for what I’d want. There’s no immediately obvious shambling mound analogue, and most of the monsters around the same level don’t quite fit. The Flowers of Unlife from 13 True Ways were an idea I had, but I don’t think they quite fit.

Filth Hag Son 6th level blocker [plant] Initiative: +5 Putrid Slam +10 vs. AC - 10 damage and 10 poison damage Natural 16+: The target is stuck and hampered (save ends both). [Special trigger] C: Furious tackle +10 vs. PD (one nearby enemy) - The target pops free of any creatures it is engaged with, is engaged with the son, and is stuck and hampered (save ends both). Limited use: 1/round, as an interrupt action when a nearby enemy hits Old Beshebra with an attack. The son can either make a disengage check to try to move to attack the enemy, or move to attack the enemy and only take half damage from opportunity attacks. AC 23 PD 21 MD 14 HP 90

That’s it for the monster discussion for these encounters. Next time I’ll discuss the Mold King’s Crown, the Chained Hydra, and the Mimic’s Parlor. One of those will be relatively easy, the other two much less so. Mold King’s Crown will be one of the most work intensive encounters in the adventure, with the number of hazards and mechanics around the monsters within it. Fortunately, half of that will come in a different post so I can focus on one part at a time.

#D&D #DnD #Dungeons and Dragons #5th Edition #13th Age #Adventure #Tears of the Crocodile God #my homebrew #monster

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ichor-hunter · 5 years

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Blood Veils

“Equipment developed to provide protection and efficiently drain the blood of opponents in battle. Incorporating the user’s blood improves its defensive qualities, and blood absorbed from foes is purified and delivered internally.”

Blood Veils are armour and it also functions as a weapon for draining blood. There are four kinds of Blood Veils in the game:

Ogre-type

Stinger-type

Hounds-type

Ivy-type

Before we expand on these different Veils, let’s try to understand how they work. Each Veil depending on the type is different in its own way, but the one thing that remains the same is how they are made. As you can see with a few of the Blood Veils, you may see some wired cords either connecting to the blood of a Revenant or it’s supplying a Revenant’s blood in a separate slot like purifier masks (For example, the other Veils such as Stinger, Hounds and Ivy could hold the Revenant’s blood in a separate compartment because of how it was designed). There’s also some muscle like tissue embedded into the Veil, although whether it’s based on a by-product of BOR parasites or materials used to make the Veil is still vague to me. This is how it is for the Ogre-type Veil:

The drain attack transforms that very arm into a claw and drains the opponent of their blood/ichor. From the image above, you see there are cords showcasing the blood of the user in them along with how it connects with the arm that’s used for drain attacks. Since we use different metals that contains blood from the Queen, the Blood Veils are interlaced with BOR parasites. These metals also contribute to the infrastructure of a veil since we see parts of metal and gears (eg.the hounds veils show a gear mechanism) and it’s thanks to the Queen’s blood contained in these metals. The metals were probably very flexible and manipulative since Revenants use them with their weaponry and other things. “Some revenants tried to grind down the material in hopes of becoming rich, but were left with useless dust.”-Queen Steel. From the description alone, these precious minerals were highly valued because of the versatility of it. With BOR Parasites within the Veil, they come to life when initiating a drain attack or a successful parry.

As you can see via the image above, small particles emanate from the veil when it’s being launched and retracted. It’s just like Revenants dispersing in battle or teleporting to a mistle. With BOR parasites incorporated into the Veil, BOR parasites crave for blood (and they’ll get their blood via drain attack) however since their host is an inanimate object, BOR parasites can only feed off blood through a third party since it can’t control the organs or be active in an inanimate object. Only when the BOR parasite detects a Revenant’s blood through the Veil, it will activate. If it doesn’t sense or intake any blood, it remains dormant.

With the Blades/Claws incorporated into a Veil, it’s most likely based on the metals we use to upgrade the veils. With strong metal types such as Queen Steel to Queen Tungsten, these blades become sharper and stronger.

Ogre type veils have their drain weapon imbedded on a Revenant’s right arm.

Stinger type veils comes from the large stinger on the back of their blood veil.

Hound type veils is incorporated in both of a veil’s sleeves. (And that’s why a Revenant would wear it as a cape rather than putting their arms through the sleeves).

Ivy type veils come from the scarves of the veil.

My hypothesis that the BOR parasite’s physical drain form depends on how the Blood Veil is designed like how there are different species of the Lost. For example, the Hounds veil takes on that form due to having the Revenants blood and the blades designed within the sleeves of the Veil. It turns into the hounds due to the lore behind it.

There’s also an instance when a Revenant charges their drain attack/achieve a successful parry and their purifier mask changes. I find this is connected to the veil rather than the purifier masks by itself. (Now that I’ve obtained the artbook and seen the designs, this has been disproven but I’ll still leave the description I’ve already written until I do a purifier masks post). More wires appear from the veil, embeds themselves within the mask and transforms it into a different form, which causes the Revenant’s eyes to turn red as if they’re going through bloodlust/bloodthirst. My assumption is through their charge attack, the Revenant would take in more blood, and the mask transforms to fortify their initial mask.

Blood Veils drain blood from an opponent. I’m going to guess that a Revenant would drain blood directly from the opponent, the mask has to change to compensate the draining process. Since the blood is contaminated before the purification process, Purifier/Drain Masks helps to prevent bloodthirst and going into a frenzy from taking in blood before it’s purified. The change of the mask makes it less likely for a Revenant to go into a frenzy/turning into the Lost by directly draining the Lost’s blood. (Is my poor guess here really.)

Ogre-Type Blood Veils

The Ogre-Type is a one-handed claw attack. It’s for those who are right-handed. The term Ogre originated from the French language while the source of the word Ogre is based from the Etruscan god Orcus who is the a God of the Underworld (In similar standing with Hades but through different Mythology). Orcus was known to feast on human flesh, so it’s a reference from his particular lore. Also, ogre’s in general are considered monsters/demons in various cultures.

Stinger-Type Blood Veils

The Stinger-Type veil is a retractable large stinger camouflaged within a Revenant’s Blood Veil. It’s likely linked with a scorpion stinger as there are scorpions featured in Greek Mythology. The origin of the Greek tales lies with the death of Orion, who was killed by a scorpion sent by Gaia after Apollo was jealous of Orion being close with Artemis. Ironically, Mia uses this type of Blood Veil as her Blood Code is based off from Artemis.

Hounds-Type Blood Veils

The Hounds-type veil feature two large hounds that transform from the sleeves of a blood veil to devour and drain blood. This Blood Veil is easily based on Cerberus (no not the Provisional Government) from Greek Mythology. Cerberus is a multi-head dog which is also known as the hounds of Hades. Normally you see Cerberus with 3 heads right? And you wonder why there’s only two that comes out from the Veil? Because the Revenant is considered the third head of the beast itself. It makes sense through careful observation, the two heads drains while the third head (which would be the Revenant) would launch their attack/intake the blood. Either or works for this Blood Veil.

Ivy-Type Blood Veils

The Ivy-Type veil involves two long scarves on the back of the Veil. When they’re launched into the ground, the scarves become a bed of blades sprouting from the ground. While charging your Ivy drain attack, you can move the swirl of black mist location at long-ranged targets. This Blood Veil is based on the Greek God Dionysus who is known for wine, vegetation and others. He is seen with a crown of Ivy, and it matches with the crown that appears on a Revenants head when using the Veil. The blades coming up from the ground relates to Dionysus rule over vegetation.

This post may be expanded in the future based on DLC and discussion posts.

#code vein #code vein theory #code vein lore #blood veils #code vein oc #lore post

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monstersdownthepath · 5 years

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Spiritual Spotlight: Phlegyas, the Consort of Atheists

True Neutral Psychopomp Usher of Atheists, Legacies, and Reincarnation

Domains: Artifice, Earth, Knowledge, Repose Subdomains*: Industry, Petrification, Memory, Psychopomp

Concordance of Rivals, pg. 16

Obedience: Spend an hour creating something from the dead, such as by making jewelry or clothing from hair, flesh, bones, or teeth. Alternately, mummify or embalm a corpse. Benefit: Gain a +2 insight bonus on saving throws against Divine magic.

(*IMPORTANT NOTE: The Subdomains are my best guess; Subdomains are not listed in Concordance of Rivals.)

Macabre! I hope you’ve got a good explanation for your party about why you’re being a ghoulish scavenger, but personally I’ve yet to be in a party where there were no scavenger types. It seems that every group of people has at least one person who takes handfuls of teeth or other trophies from their kills, but that may just be a bigger signifier about what kinds of people that I hang out with than a true analysis of this Obedience.

It’s an easy Obedience to do if you can quell your party’s fears about your chosen medium for your arts and crafts, because as an adventurer, you’re not likely to have a shortage of usable parts. Hell, just ONE complete body has enough materials to carry you through several days or even weeks of this Obedience because you can just perform some scrimshaw on the larger bones before using the smaller ones as pieces for a larger work. For people who want a bit more oomph in their crafting, I’m not 100% certain on Pharasma and the Usher’s tolerance of using the dead as crafting material for your own Construct minions, but ‘creating something from the dead’ lends itself to some pretty broad interpretations. You can, technically, use them to make Wondrous Items like weaving their leather into a Bag of Holding, even. Crafting magic items takes way more than 1 hour to do, obviously, so you can really only combine this Obedience with your crafting during downtime... Unless they’re potions, in which case they take a mere 2 hours if they cost less than 250gp.

That counts, right? All else fails, though, a Sack Of Rats can be used here. Just pull one out, clonk it dead, and preserve that tiny corpse.

And while my mind is on it, this Obedience couples phenomenally with the Harvest Parts, Grisly Ornament, and Monstrous Crafter feats.

Also, the benefit is great. A blanket +2 on saves versus Divine spells from any source and any alignment? Sign me up! Unfortunately, it doesn’t really protect you from spell-like abilities, and the bonus by itself is rather small, but it’s always nice to have just an always-on bit of extra protection you don’t need to think about. Like Mage Armor!

Boons are gained slowly, gained at levels 12, 16, and 20. Servants of the Monitors, though, can enter the Proctor Prestige Class as early as level 8. If entered as early as possible, you can earn your Boons at levels 10, 14, and 16. You MUST take the Monitor Obedience feat, NOT Deific Obedience. Monitors grant only a single set of Boons.

Boon 1: Creator's Whispers. Gain Crafter's Fortune 3/day, Object Reading 2/day, or Detect Anxieties 1/day.

Crafter’s Fortune and Object Reading aren’t too useful in the day-to-day, lets get that out of the way. Fortune grants a target a +5 bonus to the next Craft check they make, which is GREAT for people in your party who actually create things (like you, potentially), but you don’t need it 3/day unless everyone is making stuff. You can also use it in tandem with the Fabricate spell, of course, but in general you likely won’t need it more than once a day.

Object Reading has its niche uses in a Whodunnit mystery or tracking down the owner of a particular item, allowing you to quickly gather information of whose hands the target has passed, but the +10 Appraise check is actually only worth +1 fact, giving you a minimum of +2 facts... which is all you probably need anyway. It’s up to you whether or not that means this ability is useful, but know that the +10 means that a mere 2 or 3 points in Appraise makes it impossible to fail your reading.

Which leaves Detect Anxieties, which works as Detect Thoughts, but instead of the infinitely more useful analysis of the victim’s surface thoughts, you instead learn of whatever anxieties and fears are plaguing its mind. While still potentially useful, this translates in-game to only providing a paltry +2 to Intimidation checks, which I think should be significantly higher. Perhaps you could also get bonuses to other skill checks if you choose to sooth their anxieties rather than exploiting them?

That being said, it’s a useful spell for scanning hallways and rooms for concealed enemies, and its ability to pass through the same materials Detect Thoughts can means you can peer into some rooms without opening the doors and get a general feel of the room’s mood. All three of these spells, however, remain pretty niche, making it difficult to pick which one to take each day.

Boon 2: Evader of Consequence. You can cast Reincarnate or Mindwipe 1/day as a spell-like ability. You must select which when you perform the obedience for that day.

Mindwipe slaps a target with 2 temporary negative levels if they fail their save, with the side-effect of instantly wiping out the target’s two highest-level spells or spell slots, as well as erasing the knowledge of two of their highest-level spells known. It’s an alright spell in the hands of players, shaving -10 HP off the enemy and hitting them with a -2 penalty to every roll they make, and eating two of the caster’s most powerful tools in one go can cripple whatever trump card they had in their pocket.

Unfortunately, it’s negated entirely by a save, and a Will save at that. It’s going to be difficult to actually have it land on a caster for its full effect, but at the very least you can still aim it at the enemy frontline to debuff them for a few days.

That being said, Reincarnation is an interesting choice. Normally costing 1,000gp to cast, you pay nothing for this power. It requires only a small portion of a dead body to use and creates a new one in the prime of their youth, allowing the caster to bypass the usual “no old age” restriction of life-granting magic, allowing it to bring back people living way past their time. Also, since Reincarnate works on bodies less than a week old, you can just keep preparing Mindwipe until someone dies!

The true power of this Boon, however, is that it’s essentially a free Raise Dead that needs only a pinch of corpse dust to work, provided you’re feeling lucky on the slot machine of potential races to come back as. Some... complications may arise if they reincarnate as a race that doesn’t mesh well with their build, but the fact you get the spell for free means that you can just keep trying day after day if you need to. On a morbid note, this means you’ll never really be at a loss for parts for your Obedience! ... Or food, I suppose.

Boon 3: Though Only Breath. After completing your Obedience, choose one Craft, Perform, or Profession skill. Until you next perform your Obedience, you gain a +10 insight bonus on checks to create something permanent with your chosen skill, such as carving a statue, writing a play, or drafting meaningful legislature. A check result of 40 or higher indicates that the object you create is of such astonishing quality that it will remain in the public consciousness for generations to come. This bonus does not apply to checks made to earn money.

I hope you’re the party craftsman, because come level 16, everything you do has a chance of becoming something famous and beautiful. Note that, while this ability cannot be used to craft scrolls or potions, using it to craft magical items is perfectly valid. ALSO NOTE, though, that this affects your Craft check, not your Spellcraft check, so allocate your skill points accordingly. Spellcraft allows you to construct any magical item, but specific Craft checks are needed for things like working leather, carving stone, etc.

On the plus side, golems and other magical Constructs often require specific Craft checks to build rather than just relying on Spellcraft, allowing you to craft mechanical minions with greater accuracy than ever before. If your items cost less than 1000gp to create you can get them finished in one day, allowing you to swap your bonuses to another one if need be.

Two things about this Boon are cute: The first is that you can also use it to bolster Perform or Profession, and the second is the final portion, in which an especially impressive construction will endure “in the public consciousness for generations to come,” implying that whatever you make will either be so astonishingly breathtaking or so unbelievably horrifying that people won’t be able to stop thinking about it for centuries. Amusing as that is when making something that costs less than 1000gp, it’s still apparently noteworthy enough to have whispers of it passed from parent to child.

This makes spreading propaganda pathetically easy, by the way. Since Profession checks can be just about anything, you can go buck wild with Profession (Lawmaker) or Profession (Mayor) or Profession (Novelist)! ... Or, as my DM pointed out, a futuristic setting could have you use your Profession (Blogger) or Profession (Instagram Influencer) clout to shape the public zeitgeist. Even if they don’t like you or your ideas, they’ll be talking about you, possibly until long after you’re gone.

Even if you can’t change the world, but you can sure as hell leave your mark in it.

You can read more about her here.

#Spiritual Spotlight #Neutrality Notes #Pathfinder #Dungeons and Dragons

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yeschaoticsheepstarlightposts · 4 years

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15 Things You Should Never Do at the Doctor's Office

Think of your happiest relationships, and there is an honest chance all requires open communication, honesty, and trust. That goes for you and your doctor, too. Lie out of embarrassment, and she or he can't treat you. Show up unshowered to a doctor visit, and she or he won't want to. Ghost her too repeatedly, and a break-up is inevitable.

Be a far better partner and you will recover healthcare.

To uncover what to do—and what to not do—at the doctor's office, Eat This, Not That! Health talked to the country's top docs to seek out the #1 things medical professionals say you ought to avoid at a doctor visit. Read on. Your life depends thereon.

1 Never Be a Passive Listener Nurse Showing Patient Test Results On Digital Tablet Shutterstock Becoming a lively listener, not a passive one, is the No. 1 thanks to being a far better patient, say doctors Mikkael Sekeres and Timothy Gilligan of the Cleveland Clinic. They revealed within the NY Times that too many of their patients nod mechanically at what they're saying, without fully understanding the knowledge being relayed.

The Rx: Asking questions, requesting that the doctor repeat something, taking notes or bringing along a loved one who can do any of the above can assist you to become a life partner in your care.

2 Never Show Up With a Self-Diagnosis and Tell Your Doctor What to try to the patient is angry on doctor due to medical error Shutterstock There's a fine line between a lively listener and being a know-it-all. Consult Google to self-educate, not self-diagnose, says Suzanne Koven, a medical care internist at Massachusetts General Hospital. "I have enormous respect for patients' autonomy and understanding of their bodies, and to some extent, doctors are working with patients during a collaboration," she told Scientific American. "But to pretend that both parties are bringing the identical degree of data to the table is disingenuous. Once during a while, somebody will are available determined that they have an MRI to rule out such and such or this drug to treat such and such, and I'll need to say, 'Whoa, slow down, let's mention you and your symptoms.'"

The Rx: Do your research. Ask questions on anything you do not understand. But leave the diagnosis to your doctor.

3 Never Lie female holding fingers crossed behind her back Shutterstock According to a survey conducted by ZocDoc, almost one-quarter of individuals mislead their doctors. (Women were slightly more likely to love, at 30%, compared to 23% of men.) Embarrassment and fear of being judged were the foremost common reasons given. Stop it right now! "Sugar-coating bad habits or nagging symptoms doesn't help," advises David Longworth, MD, of the Cleveland Clinic. "Your doctors are confidential partners in your care. they have all the knowledge available to assist you to create smart decisions. that has everything from your habits to each medication you're taking, including over-the-counter drugs, herbal products, vitamins, and supplements. If you are not consistently taking medication, ask your doctor about why — including if you cannot afford them."

The Rx: Always be candid. Anything less may be a waste of your time. Leave embarrassment and shame behind. Your doctor is there to enhance your health, not nag you.

4 Never Leave Things Out Man writing at the desk Shutterstock According to the ZocDoc survey, 64 percent of seniors said they've avoided mentioning health issues with their doctor because they didn't think the matter was that serious or worth discussing. None folks want to perform a hypochondriac's soliloquy at the doctor's office, but it isn't the time for false modesty either.

The Rx: If you think that you would possibly get tongue-tied within the moment, write down your symptoms or things you want to debate together with your doctor before your visit.

5 Never Be Late Asian businesswoman watching the watch time worried and scared of getting late to the meeting Shutterstock Remember the last time you sat during a lounge, doing what space was for, for an hour? That's likely because people before you were late for his or her appointments, backing up the entire queue. Reinforcing this little bit of sense may be a doctor who posted on Reddit: "Every outpatient office has time put aside for sick visits, and time blocked off for pre-scheduled visits," wrote _PyramidHead_. "People will often call in when the office opens and invite a sick visit to deal with their pharyngitis, whatever. More times than I can count, the person will say, 'I can't are available until 4:30,' usually the last slot of the day. Which is ok, but once they then don't show up, I'm annoyed. Especially if the last pre-scheduled visit was as 3:15, and that I waited around for an hour — only to possess someone not shows up."

The Rx: Keep your appointments and get on time. Or call to let the doctor's office know what is going on on.

6 Never Be a Jerk to the office Aggressive man yelling at the nurse in the clinic Shutterstock Don't make a scene at the front desk about wait times or rant a few charges mandated by your insurance. "Complaining to the front office about your copay is pointless; they need no control over that," wrote Redditor _PyramidHead_.

The Rx: Be proactive: Call ahead to ascertain if the office is running behind if you would like to, stay informed about insurance features like your deductible, and skim #8 on this list.

7 Never Show Up Unshowered man is taking shower in the bathroom Shutterstock This one's sense (and common courtesy). Unfortunately, judging from postings by medical staff on social media, it's an all-too-common occurrence. Remember when mom asked if you were wearing clean underwear, just in case you were during an accident and ended up in a doctor's care? Mom was right.

The Rx: you do not need to prep like it is a date, but be clean.

8 Not Know What Your Insurance Covers Older patient at woman doctor office paying exam with MasterCard Shutterstock It's near rock bottom of the list of last things any folks want to do: Spend time on the phone with the insurance company. But if you're having a procedure, need medical devices, or are prescribed new medication, it's better to call ahead and sign up than be caught with a bill — and need to spend longer on the phone — after the very fact. If you would like a colonoscopy, the procedure could be covered, but not a specific facility or anesthesiologist.

The Rx: Call ahead to see. If you've got concerns, tell your doctor.

9 Not Know What Medications You're On female physician prescribing pills to an older black male patient Shutterstock This is a frequent complaint voiced by doctors and other medical professionals. If you're seeing a replacement doctor who won't have access to your records, he or she won't mind in the least if you bring along a cheat sheet together with your meds listed. It could prevent drug interactions and large problems down the road.

The Rx: jot your medications and dosages and convey the knowledge along to your doctor visit, or keep it on your phone.

10 Never Ignore Medication Instructions woman takes medicine capsules Shutterstock Always take medication as prescribed. Failure to try to do so is one of the highest complaints medical professionals voice on social media. On Reddit, a doctor going by the nickname AstralResolve explained their frustration with a standard scenario: "' I stopped taking the antibiotics cause I began to feel better. Now I'm sick again and therefore the antibiotics aren't as effective.' Every freaking time. We instruct you disregard, bugs get stronger and more resistant."

Redditor walrustude, a doctor, said noncompliance supported online research was his top gripe: "Straight up refusal to follow medical advice or to comply with taking one pill each day known to dramatically improve symptoms, all because this mommy blog said the simplest thing is apple vinegar or because WebMD suggested cold showers." Your doctor doesn't mind questions supported your research; just don't present them with something you read online as the incontrovertible fact that applies to your particular case.

The Rx: Follow prescription instructions to the letter, and voice any concerns to your doctor.

11 Never Conceal that you've got Stopped Taking Your Medication hand-throwing pills away Shutterstock This is another frequent occurrence, medical professionals say. "People stop taking medications all the time, actually because they feel better or can't afford the value. it is a chronic situation, especially as Americans grow old," writes aging expert Barbara Hannah Grufferman on HuffPost. Remember #3 and #4 on this list — a doctor's visit may be time for total honesty. Anything less is counterproductive.

The Rx: Tell your doctor everything. If finances are a problem, be blunt. (Your doctor or office could also be ready to help with co-pay cards or other solutions.)

12 Never Get Too Many Second Opinions female physician checking male patients vital sign at clinic Shutterstock A second opinion is great. A fifth, not such a lot. "I'm an enormous fan of second opinions," Orly Avitzur, MD, wrote in Consumer Reports. "I encourage my very own patients to hunt them out when faced with a difficult diagnosis or decision, and I have provided them also. But there is a limit. A recent patient was paralyzed by indecision after seeking several medical opinions (I was number seven), all with slightly different recommendations. Medicine frequently involves judgment calls, and sooner or later you will have to trust one among them."

The Rx: Know when to mention when. More information isn't better.

13 Never Bring Relatives Along Who Take Over the Conversation Couple Attending IVF Consultation Shutterstock "While I do not yet bring anyone into my doctor's appointments, I do accompany both my mother and mother-in-law to theirs," says Grufferman. "They are 75 and 83, respectively, and the second set of ears and eyes is usually an honest thing, especially when the doctor is discussing procedures, medicine, and follow-up recommendations. during this case, I think physicians welcome my presence, as long as I do not completely take over. I always take notes and ask the doctor to repeat or review something if I do not understand."

The Rx: Ask well-meaning relatives who come along to your doctor visit to try to more listening than talking.

14 Never Be a No-Show Missed call phone from someone via mobile smartphone while Asian man sleeping on the bed in the late morning Shutterstock "Not only isn't exposure once we were expecting you (and once we have called, texted, emailed, and sometimes all three to remind you that you simply have an appointment) rude and entitled, it also tells me that my time invaluable, which somehow you think that you probably did not need to keep what essentially was a contract that you simply made with me once you made the appointment," writes California physician Rebecca Levy-Gantt during a piece on Medium titled "How to be an honest Patient".

The Rx: If you cannot make your appointment, always let the doctor's office know.

15 Never Ask Your Doctor to Lie A medical doctor making a negative sign for medicine by his finger. Doctor showing forbidden sign Shutterstock This is an enormous no-no. "Sometimes patients will inquire from me to travel back and 'code the visit differently,'" says Levy-Gantt. "I won't change the test codes or the visit codes to accommodate someone, since doing so is a fraud and not an appropriate or legal thing on behalf of me to try to to. Sorry. I will, however, attend bat for a patient (and I have) if I feel a patient needs a specific test done, and therefore the insurance firm denies it."

The Rx: Don't ask your doctor to cheat the system. It's unethical, and do not you would like a physician who's honest in the least times?

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utilitycaster · 4 years

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I think less viable multiclasses can sometimes be helped along by a good dm. Like I love some of the magic items Brennan comes up with. The sword he gave to Fabian (which allowed him to boost damage on an attack by expending a spell slot iirc) was a smart thing to give someone who went from being a level 9 fighter to 6 Fighter 3 Bard. (This is not to say that that’s an unviable multiclass, just an example of smart magic item gifting that came to mind.)

Oh definitely, and I think it came from a place of the adjustment (Fabian having been a full fighter and deliberately lowering that level for story reasons) and the fact that the party already had a bard which makes it a little harder to feel special (I’m in the endgame of NADDPod and Murph has talked a bit about how having a small party that’s high level has meant he can give people items that normally would be seen as weird for their class because they don’t have an arcane caster, for example, so it’s okay that the druid gets an item that makes her proficient in arcana, whereas in a game that did have a wizard it would be frustrating to the wizard; basically this item let Fabian get a paladin mechanic - smiting - without being a paladin and since the party doesn’t have a paladin it’s a cool way to enhance his hybrid build and let him still be a powerful martial class).

More generally in the spirit of that post about how min-maxing doesn’t need to be about combat prowess, ‘less viable’ multiclasses are optimized for story reasons. Gorgug taking a level in artificer is absolutely not the best combat idea (although honestly? not the worst either) and until the stats adjustment happened, he was actively unsuited for it, but it’s completely in line with who he is as a person, it makes a great character study and story, and a good DM would find a way to adjust the stats to help this happen.

I also think “suboptimal”/unviable multiclasses can be better than people give them credit for between the subclasses and magic items; it’s just that some of these builds end up being so specific to the campaign and their subclasses and items that it’s not something you can casually recommend in general. Like, Vax’s Rogue/Paladin build in Critical Role campaign 1 works out quite well but there are a couple reasons, notably that he has the objectively OP boots of haste, he has stats that most people can only dream of (dude had 14 or above in literally every stat except constitution), vow of enmity as a vengeance paladin plays very well with rogue, and he was as a house rule permitted to smite on thrown attacks. I still would call rogue/paladin suboptimal on a general level, but it happened to work really well here. Or Ruby’s build on a Crown of Candy includes a level of shadow sorcerer which makes way more sense given the low-magic, all-human-variant setting where darkvision is a massive advantage as opposed to something that half the characters have; otherwise the obvious choice for an arcane trickster would have been wizard.

All of this is to say if someone asks for multiclasses I tend to recommend a select few combinations, but that doesn’t mean those are the only routes, just that I can confidently say a wizard taking a couple levels of fighter will generally benefit in combat, whereas a rogue taking a couple levels of sorcerer may or may not.

#d&d #dungeons & dragons #dimension 20 #critical role #Anonymous

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sepiadice · 5 years

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NavyDice Campaign (2019/9/27): Let Doors not Impede us

Finally settled on a functional system for guests. Going to just use Japanese numbers. Has no theoretical upper limit (not that it reasonably should get higher than five), and it eliminates the need to hem and haw over which one to use when it’s by appearance order. They’re also easy to recycle between campaigns,[1] and Japanese prevents confusion when numbers need to be referenced.

We did not finish the campaign this session, which is alright, four’s kind of a lame number to end on. Too many to call it a trilogy, too few to slot into base ten or twelve (where television and baked goods thrive). Maybe if there was a seasonal motif?

I mean, there’s an elemental one, but eh.

Life outside of this game is proceeding normally. Which, I believe, is the last item for my introduction before talking about the game.

Acer ‘Maple’ Palmatum (SepiaDice/Me) Level 6 Elf Fighter. Is better friends with NPCs than with own party members. Garland (LimeDice) A spellcaster of some type. Forms a dynamic duo with... Grumble (Ichi) Bard. Gets a lot done because no one’s actively undermining him. Poppi (Ni) Also a spellcaster. Irritating. Game Master (NavyDice)

Cycle 9

Floating in the darkness, information is shared, and Poppi is instructed to, like in an adventure game, rub the key on safety deposit boxes until progress happens.

There’s a knock on the door, and Maple bolts to the marketplace.

The key opens box A113, which contains the fire orb. Which is disappointing, because, if I recall Navy’s telling of the last time he ran this, another safety deposit box has an additional orb.[2] But now the most dangerous party member has supercharged fire powers.

I’ll try to mitigate this fact.

Maple, however, has some fun to engage with. At the marketplace, she successfully outpaces Masem by a large enough margin to discreetly communicate with the Brigands.

Using a birdsong the party learned, she convinces the brigands that she’s on their side, and convinces them to fake dead.

Navy rolls dice to see how badly that goes.

I don’t know the exact rolls as he hid them behind his hands.[3] However, they must’ve been amazing, because suddenly we learn the Brigands are amazingly trained actors with fake blood and ribbons on hand to fake dramatic death scenes.

You know, like all community theater types.

It’s an amazing spectacle of improvised stage combat, and by the time Masem arrives, it looks like Maple has single-handedly defeated the enemy.

Next obstacle: how to keep Masem from discovering the ruse when he attempts to begin clean-up.

Solution: Maple sends him to the bank that’s about to be robbed, claiming to have knowledge of it due to back alley contacts.

I have successfully created a loop where no one’s harmed in the marketplace, and I have control over what happens with the bomb vest.

Neutralizing the bank heist is next on the to-do list. Hopefully someone else in the party will cooperate in that, since Maple won’t have time to stop those brigands otherwise.[4]

For now, Maple has a divine being to spring.

She goes ahead and just bombs the wall open. I’d like to find a less violent way to do it,[5] but I don’t have the resources to overcome Jenkins.

Maple asks Eli what he wants to do.

Eli’s been freed without the Dawn’s presence, which means there’s no one immediately rushing him through the escape tunnel. The person who freed him is giving Eli carte blanche to do what he wants.

You know what makes me feel good? Watching a GM realize they weren’t prepared for what I’m doing without actually undermining anything.

Eli decides it’d be a good opportunity to get the lightning orb from Masem. Thus I’ve gotten a lead on a second orb. Go me!

Maple and Eli head over to the bank, where Masem has finished stopping the brigands violently. Again, problem to solve another time. Maybe Grumble or Garland can help.

Maple attempts to talk to Masem, but he’d rather attack Eli instead. Maple grapples Masem to the ground.

Poppi, watching invisibly nearby, casts a fire spell at us, murdering Masem, Maple, and Eli. Eli’s form collapses in a clay-like manner.

This checks out, because he’s claimed to be a deity incarnated to our realm, so obviously he did a Wonder Woman and formed a body from the earth.

Anyways, Poppi has killed Maple for a laugh again.

Grumble and Garland have gone to the government building, this time swapping targets. Navy states he intends not to get flustered with Garland versus the Lord, but the interaction doesn’t escalate as spectacularly as Garland versus the Advisor.

The conversations lead to the two learning the frost orb is located somewhere in the Lord’s estate. They go there, pick up Poppi, try to bluff their way in, Poppi and Grumble give up and leave, while Garland fakes an arrest warrant for the nanny to gain entrance. He ultimately fails to find the orb, but does find the kids’ room.

Grumble enjoys a pie at a bakery. This time, an Icy chill fills the air before the darkness wave crashes over the city.

Cycle 10

Information is shared, and it’s decided to try and get the Lightning orb from Masem, as well as who calls dibs on which orb. Maple agrees to grab Masem as long as the others don’t murder him.

There’s a knock on the door.

Maple rolls to grab Masem. Navy, thinking himself funny, asks if I open the door. So I mime arms bursting through the door and pulling a man through, with appropriate mouth sounds.

Which was the gut burster of the night, so at least I accomplished something.

Poppi discovers the fire orb is still integrated into her arcane focus, and is encouraged to go find out what that means for the safety deposit box. (It was empty)[6]

Leaving Masem in the capable hands of Grumble and Garland, Maple goes to recreate the marketplace gamestate from the last loop. Though this time I don’t have to distract Masem with the bank, as he’s already busy.

Actually, I probably could’ve skipped the fake deaths. Just did the bird call, take the vest, and tell the brigands to go get meat pies or something…

Anyways, Maple jumps forward to freeing Eli from both prison and obligations! Let’s try not to get team killed this time! Maple and Eli start walking to the Bed and Breakfast.

So, how did the Masem thing go? Well, to their credit, Grumble and Garland did try talking to Masem first, convince him of our goals and to hand over the Lightning Orb. Dice rolls determined Masem believed our party to be crazy kidnappers and not to give us supercharged lightning magic.[7] It turns into a fight, and Masem downs both Garland and Grumble. He then starts dragging them back to the watch house for medical aid and interrogation. Because he’s a law man!

On the way back, he encounters Maple and Poppi at a crossroad.

Now, here’s a very important thing I want you readers to internalize: if one of your fellow players wants to try something that won’t prevent you from doing your idea, then let them try their thing first.

Maple wanted to try talking first, and expressed this intent to Poppi.

Poppi’s player decided to be petty and immediately attack. She uses her escalated fire powers to murder Masem, which means now Maple can’t try and get information from the Marshall at all.

This also soundly ends any effort from Maple to rely on Poppi for anything, as she’s regularly gone out of her way to undermine Maple specifically and then attempt rub some less than necessary deaths (both of Maple and others) in her face for… spite, I guess?

Well, that’s the second orb acquired, given to Grumble. Time for the third.

Maple and Eli go to the government building to attempt to meet the Lord and the Advisor. Margaret is upset to see Eli, and both men are out.[8]

Maple sends Eli to go do whatever he wants, and she heads to the Lord’s Estate. Maple attempts to talk her way in, manages to confirm the Lord is home but doesn’t want to see her, Maple then states she’s a hero (because she single-handedly stopped the brigand attack, you see) wanting to meet with the Lord, only to be told he’s left.

Okay, time for stealth. I really should’ve just gone with a Rogue like I usually do, but Maple reveals herself to be amazingly capable. She had tracked the guard movements while trying to talk her way through the front door, and thus knows the timing to walk straight into a service entrance.

Inside, Maple moves confidently[9] to the Lord’s chambers. Door’s locked. The Kids’ Room, however, is not locked. It’s also adjacent to the Master Bedroom.

She checks the shared wall. After all, why walk out into the hall just to get to the next room? A discreet door makes loads more sense.

Maple, being an Elf, finds such a door.[10]

There’s a window open in the Master Bedroom. Maple closes it, thinking someone else snuck in, and now she’s made one exit inconvenient.

I then remember the Lord[12] had left, and through the window is a likely method.

Another investigation check, and Maple finds a secret chamber. There’s an empty pedestal that once held the Ice Orb, blocked by a white wall. Careful prod with a sword deletes part of Maple’s sword. Ah.

Maple takes time to memorize details about the room. Grumble and Garland haven’t shared the Lord’s shibboleth, so I need something else to convince him of things.

Well, time’s almost up, and Maple doesn’t have a lead on the Earth Orb, and fighting a Bane-possessed Lord for the Ice Orb doesn’t sound fun, so she goes out to the city streets to find the bakery, with hopes of eating apple pie.

My dice finally fail an investigation roll.[13]

Maple never gets her Apple Pie as an Icy Chill fills the air and a dark wave crashes over the city.

Thus the end of session four.

We’re going to rock the next one, and finally free Phil and all the Groundhogs!

Hopefully we get up to 12 loops. It’s my favorite number.

Then, the future!

Until next time, may your dice make things interesting.

[1] Though I might need to come up with a mechanism for concurrent games, to keep alternating posts unconfusing… [2] You now have time to move it if I have remembered correctly, buddy. [3] Someone probably should get him a GM Screen. [4] I do, however, have an amazing idea on a new way to divert Masem’s attention. And possibly get a massive posse. [5] Which will work into footnote four’s hinting. [6] During Loop ??, there was an empty glass orb in the box, and I was curious if that would be the case here. [7] Which is fair. [8] I’ve never seen the timeline of the two hours specifically charted, so this is an easy mistake to make. [9] No one questions a person who looks like they know where they’re going. [10] For some reason, in Advance D&D 2nd Edition, Elves had a racial ability to find secret doors. One in three odds, if I remember specifically.[11] [11] I learned this when I made an Elf Paladin of Leira during High School! Before the Hammer Problem befell. [12] I don’t know if we ever learned this guy’s name. Or if we’ve ever asked. Our party’s not very good with formalities. [13] To be fair, NavyDice went easy when I got about a 10 to find the secret orb closet. Got to just let the story advance sometimes.

#SepiaDicePlays #NavyDiceCampaign #Dungeons and Dragons #Fifth Edition #Maple #NavyDice

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arcticdementor · 5 years

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“Culture is the secret of humanity’s success” sounds like the most vapid possible thesis. The Secret Of Our Success by anthropologist Joseph Henrich manages to be an amazing book anyway.

Henrich wants to debunk (or at least clarify) a popular view where humans succeeded because of our raw intelligence. In this view, we are smart enough to invent neat tools that help us survive and adapt to unfamiliar environments.

Against such theories: we cannot actually do this. Henrich walks the reader through many stories about European explorers marooned in unfamiliar environments. These explorers usually starved to death. They starved to death in the middle of endless plenty. Some of them were in Arctic lands that the Inuit considered among their richest hunting grounds. Others were in jungles, surrounded by edible plants and animals. One particularly unfortunate group was in Alabama, and would have perished entirely if they hadn’t been captured and enslaved by local Indians first.

These explorers had many advantages over our hominid ancestors. For one thing, their exploration parties were made up entirely of strong young men in their prime, with no need to support women, children, or the elderly. They were often selected for their education and intelligence. Many of them were from Victorian Britain, one of the most successful civilizations in history, full of geniuses like Darwin and Galton. Most of them had some past experience with wilderness craft and survival. But despite their big brains, when faced with the task our big brains supposedly evolved for – figuring out how to do hunting and gathering in a wilderness environment – they failed pathetically.

…

How do hunter-gatherers know how to do all this? We usually summarize it as “culture”. How did it form? Not through some smart Inuit or Fuegian person reasoning it out; if that had been it, smart European explorers should have been able to reason it out too.

The obvious answer is “cultural evolution”, but Henrich isn’t much better than anyone else at taking the mystery out of this phrase. Trial and error must have been involved, and less successful groups/people imitating the techniques of more successful ones. But is that really a satisfying explanation?

…

All of this is cultural. Henrich is kind of cruel in his insistence on this. He recommends readers go outside and try to start a fire. He even gives some helpful hints – flint is involved, rubbing two sticks together works for some people, etc. He predicts – and stories I’ve heard from unfortunate campers confirm – that you will not be able to do this, despite an IQ far beyond that of most of our hominid ancestors. In fact, some groups (most notably the aboriginal Tasmanians) seem to have lost the ability to make fire, and never rediscovered it. Fire-making was discovered a small number of times, maybe once, and has been culturally transmitted since then.

…

Human children are obsessed with learning things. And they don’t learn things randomly. There seem to be “biases in cultural learning”, ie slots in an infant’s mind that they know need to be filled with knowledge, and which they preferentially seek out the knowledge necessary to fill.

One slot is for language. Human children naturally listen to speech (as early as in the womb). They naturally prune the phonemes they are able to produce and distinguish to the ones in the local language. And they naturally figure out how to speak and understand what people are saying, even though learning a language is hard even for smart adults.

Another slot is for animals. In a world where megafauna has been relegated to zoos, we still teach children their ABCs with “L is for lion” and “B is for bear”, and children still read picture books about Mr. Frog and Mrs. Snake holding tea parties. Henrich suggests that just as the young brain is hard-coded to want to learn language, so it is hard-coded to want to learn the local animal life (little boys’ vehicle obsession may be a weird outgrowth of this; buses and trains are the closest thing to local megafauna that most of them will encounter).

…

Another slot is for gender roles. By now we’ve all heard the stories of progressives who try to raise their children without any exposure to gender. Their failure has sometimes been taken as evidence that gender is hard-coded. But it can’t be quite that simple: some modern gender roles, like girls = pink, are far from obvious or universal. Instead, it looks like children have a hard-coded slot that gender roles go into, work hard to figure out what the local gender roles are (even if their parents are trying to confuse them), then latch onto them and don’t let go.

In the Cultural Intelligence Hypothesis, humans live in obligate symbiosis with a culture. A brain without an associated culture is incomplete and not very useful. So the infant brain is adapted to seek out the important aspects of its local culture almost from birth and fill them into the appropriate slots in order to become whole.

…

I was inspired to read Secret by this review on Scholar’s Stage. I hate to be unoriginal, but after reading the whole book, I agree that the three sections Tanner cites – on divination, on manioc, and on shark taboos – are by far the best and most fascinating.

…

But being genuinely random is important in pursuing mixed game theoretic strategies. Henrich’s view is that divination solved this problem effectively.

I’m reminded of the Romans using augury to decide when and where to attack. This always struck me as crazy; generals are going to risk the lives of thousands of soldiers because they saw a weird bird earlier that morning? But war is a classic example of when a random strategy can be useful. If you’re deciding whether to attack the enemy’s right vs. left flank, it’s important that the enemy can’t predict your decision and send his best defenders there. If you’re generally predictable – and Scott Aaronson says you are – then outsourcing your decision to weird birds might be the best way to go.

…

Rationalists always wonder: how come people aren’t more rational? How come you can prove a thousand times, using Facts and Logic, that something is stupid, and yet people will still keep doing it?

Henrich hints at an answer: for basically all of history, using reason would get you killed.

…

Henrich discusses pregnancy taboos in Fiji; pregnant women are banned from eating sharks. Sure enough, these sharks contain chemicals that can cause birth defects. The women didn’t really know why they weren’t eating the sharks, but when anthropologists demanded a reason, they eventually decided it was because their babies would be born with shark skin rather than human skin. As explanations go, this leaves a lot to be desired. How come you can still eat other fish? Aren’t you worried your kids will have scales? Doesn’t the slightest familiarity with biology prove this mechanism is garbage? But if some smart independent-minded iconoclastic Fijian girl figured any of this out, she would break the taboo and her child would have birth defects.

…

There’s a monster at the end of this book. Humans evolved to transmit culture with high fidelity. And one of the biggest threats to transmitting culture with high fidelity was Reason. Our ancestors lived in Epistemic Hell, where they had to constantly rely on causally opaque processes with justifications that couldn’t possibly be true, and if they ever questioned them then they might die. Historically, Reason has been the villain of the human narrative, a corrosive force that tempts people away from adaptive behavior towards choices that “sounded good at the time”.

Why are people so bad at reasoning? For the same reason they’re so bad at letting poisonous spiders walk all over their face without freaking out. Both “skills” are really bad ideas, most of the people who tried them died in the process, so evolution removed those genes from the population, and successful cultures stigmatized them enough to give people an internalized fear of even trying.

…

This book belongs alongside Seeing Like A State and the works of G.K. Chesterton as attempts to justify tradition, and to argue for organically-evolved institutions over top-down planning. What unique contribution does it make to this canon?

First, a lot more specifically anthropological / paleoanthropological rigor than the other two.

Second, a much crisper focus: Chesterton had only the fuzziest idea that he was writing about cultural evolution, and Scott was only a little clearer. I think Henrich is the only one of the three to use the term, and once you hear it, it’s obviously the right framing.

Third, a sense of how traditions contain the meta-tradition of defending themselves against Reason, and a sense for why this is necessary.

And fourth, maybe we’re not at the point where we really want unique contributions yet. Maybe we’re still at the point where we have to have this hammered in by more and more examples. The temptation is always to say “Ah, yes, a few simple things like taboos against eating poisonous plants may be relics of cultural evolution, but obviously by now we’re at the point where we know which traditions are important vs. random looniness, and we can rationally stick to the important ones while throwing out the garbage.” And then somebody points out to you that actually divination using oracle bones was one of the important traditions, and if you thought you knew better than that and tried to throw it out, your civilization would falter.

Maybe we just need to keep reading more similarly-themed books until this point really sinks in, and we get properly worried.

#slate star codex #book review #joseph henrich #read the whole thing

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ciathyzareposts · 6 years

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Crusaders of the Dark Savant: Career Changes

My party, members now in their permanent classes, confidently marches out of New City.

When I started this blog, if I referred to “rose-colored memories” of past games, I would have been referring to times I played games in the 1980s or 1990s, when I was young and the games were new. These days, on the other hand, I could use the phrase to refer to games I played at the beginning of this blog. Writing today, I haven’t played any of the pre-Bradley Wizardry games in almost four years. Are my memories accurate? Is my admiration valid?

What I remember most about the original Wizardry, and to a lesser extent the second two scenarios, is a marvelous sense of tension in exploration and combat. Particularly since I was adhering to the series’s use of permadeath, every step forward felt like a risk. The further you got away from the safety of the town level, the more your hit points dropped, the more you depleted your spell slots, the greater the odds were stacked against you. These considerations created a tactical landscape that went far beyond the strict combat mechanics. In deciding whether to try to wipe out your enemies with just a MAHALITO, or to double it up with a MODALTO from another caster, you had to think beyond the immediate combat. You had to worry about the next combat, plus all the combats in your backpath on the way to the surface. Your spell slots were precious resources. You wouldn’t waste a high-level spell on an easy party, just to make combat go more quickly–you needed it for the unanticipated high-level group down the hall.

Wizardry VI completely upended the nature of combat tactics in the franchise while not significantly changing the combat mechanics themselves. You still plan everyone’s action ahead of time, then execute them (in tandem with the enemies’ actions) all at once. You still have limitations on spells, though “slots” have been replaced with magic points, and the spell system in general has been expanded. You still have a lot of variability in the difficulty of enemies that you encounter. The big difference is that you can save, and usually rest, in between combats. The focus is thus entirely on the individual combat rather than the entire landscape. It pays to err on the side of over-use of powerful spells just to make victory certain.

More about combat and magic in a minute, but let’s take a moment to check in with the party, which has undergone some changes since I last blogged. Last time, I was wrestling with the game’s class-changing system, including when and how often. Based on your comments, I realized that I had been thinking of it all wrong. I hadn’t shaken myself out of Dungeons and Dragons (second edition) mode, where dual-classing can create powerful characters, but it pays to get as high as possible in the first class before dual-classing because afterwards you can only level in the second class. Here, that’s not true. Once you acquire skills and spells, they’re part of your repertoire forever, and you can keep adding points to them even if they don’t make sense with your current class. A Dungeons and Dragons fighter who duals to a mage at Level 10 isn’t a fighter at all anymore until she reaches Level 11 as a mage, and even then she’s only kind of a fighter. In this game, even if you only spend one level as a mage, you’re at least partly a mage forever.

(The one big exception here is that your current class defines what weapons, armor, and items you can use. Thus, it doesn’t make sense to build someone’s sword skills to high levels and then dual to a mage, who can’t use a sword.)

Having been through several class changes, Esteban has a lot of weapon skills at his disposal, only some of which he can actually use as a bishop.

Thus, I began to think of my party more in terms of what skills I wanted the characters to have rather than literal classes. I spent some time changing, grinding, experimenting, and changing again, in some cases limited by minimum attributes, but generally able to acquire what I wanted. That included at least two characters with high-level mage abilities and at least four characters with healing abilities.

Ultimately, I wanted to end this session with my characters in their “final” incarnations (at least for most of the game). Every time you change a class, you reset the character’s attributes to the minimum requirements for that class. It’s tough to give up all that strength, speed, and so forth, and I imagine it’s particularly tough later in the game, when your foes are harder. As thrilling as it is to level up, I’d rather do it less often but in pursuit of more heroic characters.

One of my first changes was to make my thief a samurai. I can’t really remember why. But once I did, she acquired the “Kirijutsu” skill, and I absolutely fell in love with it. Every point in the skill makes it more likely that the character will strike a critical hit in combat, instantly killing an enemy. I don’t even care if the chance is really small; I just love that the chance s there. Thus, I cycled all my fighters through classes that imparted that skill, at least for a few levels. Three of them were able to change to ninjas for a while, which is a great choice because it has such high attribute requirements that, if you can make it in the first place, you don’t lose as many of your accumulated points.

Gideon strikes a critical hit on a Savant Guard. This never gets old.

I advanced in my new classes mostly by grinding in New City. At first, I did this primarily by sleeping in the street, which seems to attract an enemy party about 25% of the time. Later, I realized that if I used the wrong item to try to open a door in one of the buildings (I don’t even know what the right item is), it would reliably send at least one party of Savant Troopers or Savant Guards my way. These guys offer quite a bit of experience, but the problem is that they’re tough enemies. Troopers have lances that can drain stamina and paralyze party members. If I got three parties of 5 Troopers each, I was toast. Nonetheless, it was worth the risk, and I learned a lot about my available spells during the process.

When I was done (and this all took me maybe 8 hours combined):

Gideon had cycled through several levels as a monk (that was a waste of time) and several levels as a ninja before ending up as a lord again.

Noctura got some mage spells as a samurai for a few levels before she had high enough attributes to change to her permanent ninja class (she had been a thief originally)

Bix went from a bard to an alchemist to, finally, a mage. I know that’s not a lot of diversity, but the alchemist position at least afforded him some healing spells.

Svava went from a Valkyrie to a ninja to a ranger (that turned out to be mostly a waste) and back to a Valkyrie. I had to take her all the way to Level 9 as a ranger because it took forever to reach the Valkyrie minimums.

Esteban went from a priest to a ninja to finally end up where I wanted him as a bishop.

Prenele, who was already where I wanted her (alchemist) spent some time as a mage and a priest before returning her her original class.

I might have missed some. I seem to remember having someone as a psionic for a while before realizing the spells just weren’t very good. In any event, I realize that not all of these changes made sense or ultimately served any strategic goal, but remember I was just experimenting, and the best part is that there’s no real harm in trying out a class that doesn’t ultimately work out. The worst that happens is you gained some skills that you don’t bother to develop any further.

My Valkyrie mulls a class change. Her stats aren’t good enough for lord, bishop, ninja, monk, psionic, or alchemist.

Just before I started changing classes, some of my higher-level fighters started to achieve extra attacks in combat. They had already been at a point where they often struck twice during a single attack, but eventually they reached a level where they’d get an extra couple attacks at the end of the combat round. The odd thing is that they retained these extra attacks even after they changed classes and were busted back to Level 1 again. So I’m not really sure what governs these extra attacks. I don’t know, it’s probably in the manual somewhere, but the frigging thing is 70 pages long.

The exercise accomplished my primary goal of making a stronger party. Now I have four characters with Kirujutsu, and thus a chance at critical hits every combat round. More important, I have three characters capable of some mass damage spells.

It took me a while to figure out the spell system, and I’m a little fuzzy on parts. Each character has what amounts to a “mana” bar, but that’s a bit misleading because the bar is a composite of each individual status, and each individual maximum, within a variety of spell “realms.” The realms (fire, earth, water, mental, air, and divine) are different from the spell “schools” (mage, alchemist, priest, psionic), each of which has multiple spells in each realm. Right now, my mage Bix has anywhere between a maximum of 22 points (divine realm) and 47 points (water realm) in each realm. His actual spells are a combination of those learned during his time as a bard, an alchemist, and a mage.

When you cast a spell, the number of points available in that realm depletes. Your overall mana bar may look great, but if you’re out of points in the divine realm, there’s no more healing. It takes a long time, or several sleep sessions, to fully restore points in a realm, so my characters basically end up cycling through them. One combat, my mage will favor earth spells, the next he’ll focus on fire spells. It thus pays to have a couple of mass damage spells or a couple of incapacitation spells spread across multiple realms.

What I don’t fully understand is what determines the number of points available to the realms. It’s not based on your skills in the various magic schools, since those apply to all realms. (I think those points just determine what spells are offered to you at each level-up, but I’m not completely sure.) I think it has something to do with the literal number of spells you’ve taken in each realm. Thus, when leveling up, it sometimes pays to choose a spell you don’t really care about, but in a realm in which you want more power.

When casting spells, you have the option to specify a multiplier, from 1 to 7, which is a major consideration. A “Fireball” cast at the base level of 1 only does 2-10 hit points of damage to 3 creatures in a group. Cast at Level 5, it does 10-50 hit points of damage to 8 creatures in a group–but of course it absorbs much more magic. The consideration is there even in status effects like “Cure Disease” and “Cure Paralysis.” Not all disease, poison, paralysis, and other effects are created equal. You have to try to guess how strong it is and then override it with the right spell level.

Even here, there are things I don’t understand. First, you can’t cast a spell at Level 7 the moment you acquire it. But I’m not sure what determines what level you can cast it at. Your level in the class? Your skill? Your points in the realm? Some combination of these? It’s not even consistent. My Level 4 mage can cast “Chilling Touch” (a water spell) at Level 4 but can only cast “Cure Paralysis” (also a water spell) at Level 2. I know, I know: read the manual. But it’s really long and you guys will tell me what’s happening within 10 minutes of this posting.

Some of Prenele’s spell options. The dice indicate the spell level, including the nonsensical last die with seven pips on it.

During my grinding, I really learned to appreciate some of the non-damaging status effect spells. I had already been using “Sleep,” “Hold Monster,” and “Paralyze” quite liberally. The problem with these is that they only take an enemy out of commission for as long as you leave him alone. Once you attack him, the spell wears off. And since you can’t specify particular enemies to attack (just a group), it’s hard to keep everyone incapacitated. These work best when you’re facing multiple groups and you want to sideline two of them so you can focus on one group at a time.

Usually, I go right for the mass damage spells. I have a lot of those now, spread across multiple characters and multiple realms. My favorite is “Acid Bomb,” which damages everyone in a group and keeps damaging them for several subsequent rounds. But for causing more damage in a single round, I have (again, spread over multiple characters) “Magic Missile” (divine), “Whipping Rocks” (earth), “Fire Bomb” (fire), “Fireball” (fire), “Iceball” (water), and “Deadly Air” (air). I don’t yet have any spells that damage all enemies in all groups, but they’re coming.

A powerful mass-damage spell.

To get any serious power out of those spells, however, you have to cast them at high levels and sacrifice a lot of points. My spellcasters can only handle a couple of them before having to rest. What I’ve learned to appreciate are some low-level spells that cost less and greatly reduce the effectiveness of enemies. These include “Confusion,” “Blinding Flash,” and “Itching Skin.” Usually, I don’t like to waste time on spells that don’t show me the effects directly (which is why I never waste a round on “Curse” in D&D games, for instance). But here, those effects are not subtle. When an enemy party goes from a 75% hit rate to a 75% miss rate in one round, you know “Itching Skin” is dong its job.

A lot of single-enemy damage spells were also enormously useful during this process. As I moved from class to class, I didn’t always have the right set of weapons to equip my characters. Thus, spells like “Energy Blast,” “Chilling Touch,” and “Acid Splash,” all of which affect only one enemy at a time, became acceptable alternatives to melee combat. Because they only affect one enemy at a time, they have low casting costs, and you can get half a dozen or so before you need to rest.

So that’s been my last 8 hours. Now I feel better equipped to take on the unexplored areas. I’m still having no luck cleaning up those last few areas of New City, except one previously-locked door that yielded to a “Knock Knock” spell (and had a chest with some decent armor behind it), but by next entry I should have made a lot more progress on the main quest.

Time so far: 31 hours

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/crusaders-of-the-dark-savant-career-changes/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

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myneighborhood-thelake · 3 years

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IronMan Canada 1998

IMC '98 meant a lot to me because it paved the way for some major changes in my life which I really needed to make. There are probably to many tri-related details and too many extraneous issues in this and the subsequent post that I will send out. I apologise in advance if you dislike rambling stories, but the IMC experience was much more than 14 hours 10 minutes and 48 seconds of swimming, biking and running (walking). It was over a year of contemplation and training, and it was 10 years of racing narrowed down into one event.

That said, please enjoy.

I think that my story starts out about 5 years ago. I was putting myself through my final years of college and money was just a little tight. I made a conscious choice to stop racing triathlons for a while to reduce my expenses. I graduated and landed a great job with excellent potential for advancement. Since I was pushing hard in my career tri's were still regulated to the backseat. 2 1/2 years passed in that job and I was experiencing severe burnout. I had focused all of my intensity on my work, and work was not as exciting as it had been when I was fresh out of college.

Labor Day (U.S.) 1997. One of my best friends got married in Philadelphia - which is an incredible town. At an after party I was talking with a couple of people - an associate editor of Triathlete magazine and a guy who occasionally does a few tri's. The tri-geek was trying to get the Triathlete editor to give him a slot for Kona. He would have been better off trying to score a date with her - there was no way that she was going to conjure up a Kona slot. She suggested IMC as a place to qualify.

The wheels in my head started to turn - "I need a challenge" "I have wanted to get back into tri's for several years" "I need a really big challenge to get me out of my workaholic rut" "Maybe I should try IMC"

Back at work I downloaded the IMC '98 application and contemplated the commitment to training for an IM. My wife was 100% behind me signing up for IMC. When we started dating I was racing tri's in Southern California, and she knows how much I enjoyed the scene. I bit the bullet and mailed in my application. I even started training - somewhat. Four plus years of inactivity had taken their toll. I had purchased a new Kestrel KM40 in the fall of 1996, but I only had ridden it for about 100 miles in the year since I bought it. It was pretty embarrassing to be out riding my shiny, new Kestrel as I was getting passed by everyone on the road.

I soon subscribed to Tri-DRS and saw all the traffic about IMC filling up in record time. I wondered, I worried, I fretted, and then the confirmation letter came. It was true - I was going to Canada in 9 months.

To say the least - I was really scared. I was out of shape. I had never done an Ironman. I used to train for Oly distance races using a "feeling" plan - "How do I feel today and what do I want to do?" I knew that I could not train for an Ironman on such an ad hoc training plan.

I wrote down my goals for IMC '98. A

1. Finish my first Ironman. 2. Have fun.

After the race I would: 1. Smile. 2. Hug my wife. 3. Be happy that I went from couch potato to Ironman in 10 months!!!!

I needed some help in training, so I talked with my college teammate and now QR pro Greg Thompson. Greg suggested that I contact Lauren Alexander for coaching advice. The best thing that I did in the months prior to IMC was hire Lauren as my coach. She is a major asset.

The months flew by, I had a hideous race at Wildflower, I DNF'd at San Jose due to a mechanical, I finally had a great race at a local sprint tri and I did pretty well at the 1/2 Vineman. The 1/2 Vineman taught me that I could overcome problems during a race and still continue on to a good finish. I sent out numerous emails to both the Tri-DRS and the IMC lists asking all kinds of stupid questions. Luckily there are a lot of great people on the list who answered my questions and gave me some great guidance. Unbelievably - Taper Time for IMC arrived - my first IM was only 3 weeks away.

During all of this IM training, life continued to march forward. My wife continued her studies and supported my training endeavors. My job structure changed again, and again, and again, and finally I found a new job that started two weeks before IMC - of course I negotiated a one week break for IMC into my offer. As always there was a multitude of issues to deal with that really got in the way with training. As time marched on I forgot about my initial race goals - I started thinking about racing IMC as opposed to surviving it, and that was a big mistake. My initial goals were what I should have focused on, but I wasted a lot time worrying about split times, average speed and run paces.

Tuesday Afternoon,

Flew from San Francisco to Vancouver. A hometown friend drove to Penticton, so I stashed my bike in his mini-van for the trip. I did not have to worry about packing a bike box, or whether my bike would arrive in Penticton on my flight.

While waiting for the puddle jumper from Vancouver to Penticton, some guy sat next to me and asked me if I was doing the race. I am not sure why he would look at me and assume that I was racing IMC - Okay, maybe the shaved legs and Specialized transition bag were pretty good indicators. He introduces himself as Scott Adams (it sounds familiar). I introduce myself as Ron Renwick. Sometimes it is very useful to have your name and email address coincide. Scott recognized my name, and further introduced himself as an infrequent poster to Jason's IMC list - this is a really small world! Another friend of mine, Bill - from my Wildflower debacle, showed up and we waited for the plane to Penticton.

We arrived in Penticton. Scott had a seat next to me on the plane where he tried to avoid listening to me whine about how hungry I was for the duration of the flight. Thanks for the pretzels Scott. In the Penticton airport, Scott started talking to this big guy with bright 'blonde' hair and a smaller guy with very little hair. Jason Mayfield and Bruce Grant had come to pick up Scott. I think that Bruce's wife and Eric Austin may have been there too, but it was a few days ago and my memory is not what it used to be. Scott's bike actually made it into Penticton on our flight. My buddy Bill was not so lucky. His bike did not show (as expected), and Canadian Airlines had lost his suitcase too. His carry-on consisted solely of his race wheels, so he was not a happy camper.

Bill and I made our way to the Rochester Resort - 2 doors from the Sicamous, and "The Best Value On The Beach." It was late so we walked the 10 steps to Salty's restaurant for a bite to eat. FYI, avoid Salty's if possible. Bill was able to buy a toothbrush at the local convenience store - he now had race wheels, the clothes on his back and a toothbrush - Bill was not a happy camper.

Wednesday,

0700 - I made my way to the Sicamous for my first pre-IMC swim. I met so many people that I had emailed with over the last 10 months. I only swam for 20 minutes, but meeting everyone was incredible. My goggles broke during the swim - add one more thing to my "Must Buy" list.

After a shower Bill and I walked downtown to the Hog's Breath. We grabbed a cup of coffee and some breakfast. Bill was impressed that we kept bumping into Tri-DRS'ers. I finally told him that "Everything I know about Penticton I learned on from the List." Which meant that anywhere we went we were sure to bump into some Deads. We walked around town, checked out the construction zone of the Athlete's village and hit the Bike Barn - a really cool bike store. Most bike shops in the SF Bay area are pretty streamlined. They look more like a Blockbuster Video store than a neighborhood bike shop - everything is in its proper spot. The Bike Barn rocks - racks of stuff and a good assortment of bikes. Bins were overflowing with stuff. It was a great place to dig around for bike goodies. The place was humming with tri-bikes. There must have been at least 8 workstands going continuously.

We went to lunch at Front Street Pasta (Jason's choice) a great meal for a very low price. I finally met Dave 'the starving student" Barclay. Jason was quite the entertainment director - as the week progressed he started looking more and more like Julie Tewes, the Cruise Director from the Love Boat ;-).

My bike arrived in the afternoon - reassembly consisted of putting the front wheel back on (no allen wrenches for me). For dinner it was Front Street Pasta again this time with my bike hauling friend Ray, Bill, Dead Chris Nugent and lurking Dead Bob Castaldi. A post-dinner beer with Ray and Greg Pressler was quite relaxing. Greg truly is a poet at heart.

Thursday

Thursday was my glycogen depletion/carbo load day so I did a solo swim and run and 4 of us rode the first 15 miles of the bike course out and back. We meant to ride the run course, but we turned left on McClean by mistake. We then picked up our registration packets and got our wrist bands. It was official - I was signed up for an Ironman.

Friday

I missed the 0700 swim by 10 minutes, so I did not get to meet anyone new from the list. However, after the swim I finally met the person that I have tried to meet for months now. We train in the same locations, we race the same races and we live only a few miles apart, but I had never met this person. Finally, after a 2000 mile trek to Canada, I finally met Tri-Baby, the one the only Tricia Richter. Now I wonder how the hell I missed seeing her in other races! And I thought that Jason had some noticable hair.

My buddy Ray and I went to the Hog's Breath after the swim for a dose of caffeine, and we bumped into some deads (imagine that). Gerry Kuse was talking to Tricia and Skippy. He was wearing a 1993 Mike and Rob's shirt, a race that I had my 1/2 IM PR in way back when (it's a small world). It turns out the Gerry and I have raced at several of the same races over the years.

At the carbo load dinner we learned that there would be 675 IronVirgins racing on Sunday. 40% of the racers were attempting there first IM. Wow!

Saturday

My wife flew into town on Saturday morning. I was really glad to see her. She had been so supportive of my training, and she deserves the title of IronMate. She had originally been scheduled to fly up with me on Tuesday, but her school schedule mandated that she stay at home during the pre-race week and attend classes. I often say that you should always have at least one smart person in the family, and I was lucky enough to marry well.

The day pretty much flew by with the pre-race meeting, the parade, packing Special Needs Bags and bike check-in. My nutrition plan was pretty simple - Gu and Cytomax and salt tabs. I had trained with Gu, Cyto and salt tabs over the past 10 months with great results. At the last minute I decided to toss an Okanagan pear into my Bike Special Needs Bag.

A post parade dinner at the Gunbarrel and a walk home were all that I needed for the evening. It was time to get some sleep. Before I drifted off I thought back to my original goals. Oh yeah, I was here to have fun. I was not here to break 14 or 12 or 10 hours, but I still held out for a good race even though I knew that I just wanted to finish. I wish that I would have looked back on my goals more often.

The actual Race Report follows.

Sunday - RACE DAY

I started the day with a 3:00 am breakfast run to Denny's. Ray and I figured that an early breakfast would be useful for us. I had actually slept for about 5 or 6 hours the night before, and I felt pretty good.

At about 5:00 am I gathered my Special Needs Bags and swim gear bag and marched 3/4 of a mile to the transition. I got body marked, Championchipped and went straight to my bike. Even at 0500 the volunteers were friendly and incredibly helpful. I chose to leave my floor pump at the hotel [good choice] - with my floor pump absent from the transition area there were only 1,699 floor pumps in the TA waiting to be used. In addition there was a crew from the Bike Barn with a compressed air cylinder for filling tires. I pumped up my Conti's to about 160psi, loaded my aerobag, filled my jetstream and walked around the corner to the Swim and Run transition bag racks.

The 2 hours from 0500 to 0700 flew by. I chatted with a few friends, revelled in the fact that I was about to start my first Ironman and donned my wetsuit. I did a warm up swim for about 10 minutes in the clear Lake Okanagan. I chatted with Chris Nugent. I high-fived and chatted with Greg Pressler. In Greg's race report he mentioned that he saw "fire in Ron's eyes." With all due respect, I think that Greg is confusing the "Happy Face" holograms on my goggles with fire.

Meeting the people on this list has been a special thrill, both Greg and I have both been doing tri's for over 10 years, but we had waited until now for our first IM. We both had that "This is finally it" feeling, he went on to an incredible race that he really deserved.

The day before the race, Greg had a great observation about the IMC swim course. "It's an International Distance swim on the way out, a few hundred meters to the right and a 1/2 IM swim on the way home - we have done this before."

Oh Canada was played. I think that I heard some bagpipes somewhere, and the race STARTED!

I was here to have fun so I held back for a few seconds to let the mass of humanity clear out from the start line. I started swimming. I kept thinking to myself "This is so COOL! I am finally doing an IronMan." I passed the first set of marker bouys and thought to myself "WOW, I just passed my first set of IronMan marker bouys. This is AWESOME!"

The swim went very well. It was much less brutal than Wildflower, and the course is very well marked. I was so happy to be racing. I was bumped a few times, I swam over a few folks, I drafted a little and hit some toes and I was drafted off of. I hit the first houseboat (leg 1) in 25 minutes - I was ecstatic. I stopped for a second to adjust the neck of my wetsuit as I was experiencing a little chafe. I made it to the second right turn at 35 minutes - one more leg to go. The swim course is so well marked that I had to do very little sighting - maybe one look every 10 strokes. Basically, the swim was all mine. I focussed completely on how I was doing. If I bumped someone or got kicked it just did not matter. I really enjoyed being out there. I hit the beach and attempted to walk over the annoying rocks.

I looked at my watch - I had completed the swim in 1:06!!!!!!!!

I was expecting to have a 1:20 swim as I have only been in the water 5 or 6 times since Wildflower in May, and two of those times were tri swims. A 1:06 was incredible.

I thought "It cannot get any better than this!"

It did not get any better.

In fact, things got far, far worse.

SWIM TO BIKE TRANSITION

I wore my Speedo and singlet under my wetsuit during the swim, so I only had to don my cycling shoes and helmet. I also stopped to urinate - little did I know that I would not have to worry about that for the next 12 hours. . .

I rolled out of town feeling really good. I had just finished an incredible swim, and I was finally starting on the bike leg of my first Ironman! I took it easy for the first 5 miles - I figured that I had 107 more miles to make up time. I hit the drops as we hit South Main Street. My first priority was to hydrate and the cytomax was not tasting very good. I spun my way up McClean Road and picked off many people on the downhill - when you weigh 195 pounds downhills are a real rush. My stomach was a little tight, but I attributed that to being so early in the race.

At the bottom of McClean someone was nice enough to tell me that I had lost my pump during the rapid descent. The bracket holding my pump on my bike broken off. "Nothing I can do about it now - I hope that I don't flat."

At about mile 10 my JetStream went dry. I had a bottle of highly concentrated Cytomax on my downtube with markings on the bottle to delineate portions. I shot some Cyto concentrate into my JetStream and filled the rest with water to make a 7% solution. I immediately took a drink from my JetStream. The concentrate and the water had not mixed together, so I got about an 80% solution of Cyto in that mouthful.

I should have pulled off the side of the road and tossed my cookies.

I chose to keep the cytomax concentrate down and chase it with water - it's hard to say, but this may have been a big mistake.

My stomach started cramping big time! I could no longer drink. I tried to take a Gu, but I could not get it down. 10 miles into the bike and I could neither hydrate nor feed - OH NO!

I tried some different positions on the bike to alleviate my stomach cramps. The aero position put direct pressure on my abdomen which was not feeling too good. I alternated between sitting upright and going aero.

I was still doing pretty good with respect to speed. At mile 41 I took the right turn to head up Richter.

Can someone please tell me why both Wildflower and IMC have a hill at Mile 41???

At the base of Richter I was still holding a 22.5mph average. Then I started climbing Richter. In the grand scheme of things Richter is not a terrible climb. I ride much worse on my regular training rides. However, Richter is at mile 41 of an IM and I had not eaten much for 3 hours (swim and bike time)

I bonked.

I hurt.

I struggled to the top of Richter,

I cursed the wind.

I quit looking at my heart rate monitor - it just did not matter.

I got passed by most of the people racing at IMC.

I got passed by pedestrians who were walking up Richter.

The downhill after Richter should have been a lot of fun, but I could not hold a good tuck. I only hit 47 mph. The uphill after Richter and the rollers through the Osoyoos were intolerable. I just kept pedaling forward. I stopped at about mile 60 to eat a banana - finally I was able to consume something. I was very happy that it stayed down. I continued to slog forward. The head wind was really causing problems. Even the flat spots were hard to ride. I promised myself that I would take a break when I got my special needs bag. I passed a med tent on the way out the second out and back section. I was very tempted to stop and take a nap.

When I got my special needs bag, I rode to the closest clear spot, dropped my bike and sat down. I opened my bag. The Gu's were completely unappetizing, but the pear looked great. I started eating my Okanagan pear - man that tasted good. Unfortunately that was the only good item in my SNB. [Note to Self: diversify nutrition plans in future long races]. Some saint in one of Jason's IMC-RST jerseys stopped next to me. It was John Welch. He had an extra turkey sandwich that tasted incredible. I could eat! This tall guy with a mustache and a blue Softride stopped next to me. He was not having a good day. My personal saint, Jeff, said "George are you OK." It was George Ball. Since I was sitting on the ground in close proximity I have to say - George has some big, skinny feet. George was not feeling too good, and he crossed the road to sit down in a chair.

I shouted to a teammate, Gerry Morton, but he looked around at eye level and missed me sitting down. I saw Tri-Baby, and pretty soon Steve "Gibbo" Gibson rolled up. Gibbo looked incredibly fresh. He looked more like he had just started his ride than that he had already ridden 75 miles. Gibbo's special needs bag was missing and he was pretty irate about not getting to his vegemite sandwiches. To be honest, I have tried the stuff and I think that he was better off not having access to his vegemite, but then again I am not an Aussie ;-).

I gave myself 20 minutes of rest at the special needs stop. The first couple of miles felt OK, but soon thereafter my quads wanted to quit (again).

The course turned back onto Highway 3A and started the gradual climb to Yellow Lake Hill. It was really hot and really windy. Then we hit Yellow Lake Hill. I kept telling myself to live only in the moment - forget about the rest of the race - things will get better, but I was really hurting. It became a battle of feet. Instead of pushing to get to the next mile marker, I goaled for the next traffic sign or the next rock on the shoulder of the road. Bit by bit, pedal turn by pedal turn.

Finally, I stopped on the climb and sat on my top tube for a while (I chose not to time myself). Most people were really great. Almost all of the athletes asked if I was OK, and the race marshalls stopped to check on me. I seriously thought about dropping out. I looked at my watch just as it hit the 7 hour mark. I was at mile 90. I did a quick calculation - I had 10 hours to ride 22 miles and run a marathon. 22 mile rides are easy spins during training. I could do this.

I chose not to DNF. I started riding again. I passed some guy who was walking his bike and I decided to do the same. Two teammates passed me as I was walking, my buddy Ray and Tana, who always looks like she is just out doing an easy training ride even though she is hammering along. They made sure that I was OK as the cruised on by. I made it to the aid station at the top of the hill. A volunteer offered me cold, de-fizzed Pepsi. Pepsi was not in my pre-race plan, but then again, walking up Yellow Lake was not in my plan - I took the Pepsi.

The caffeine and sugar boost was amazing. I started riding once again. My stomach wanted to get rid of the Pepsi, but I made it stay down. I passed Ray and I caught Tana. Tana and I chatted for a minute until my specialty arrived - the Yellow Lake Downhill. I expected to cruise with the downhill bias back into town, but after the big downhill the headwind took over again. I slogged back to the transition area.

As I crossed paths with the people already on the run course I tried to assess their condition. Some people looked pretty good, but most were looking pretty tired. I got to the transition area, but I forgot to slip out of my shoes before I handed off my bike. My brain was not working too well.

BIKE TO RUN TRANSITION

Since I was going to wear my speedo and singlet for the run I did not need to change. I went into the changing tent just to sit down for a while. I applied some vaseline and stuck some reflective tape on my speedo. Ray had slipped the reflective tape in my Bike-Run bag (thanks Ray). I ate a little watermelon and drank some water. The watermelon tasted great, but I was worried about it staying down during the run. I left the changing tent to start my first ever marathon.

An Amazing IMC tidbit - I fully expected to have to carry my gear bags to a rack and hang them up. For both transitions you simply leave the gear bag on the ground. A volunteer comes along and gathers up the gear bag and hangs it on a rack - so simple - so easy for the athlete.

THE RUN

My original plan had been to start running slowly and see how things turned out. Running slowly was not a problem - everything was going to be slow. Running fast was unthinkable. I walked the aid stations, drank, ate a little bit and drenched myself with sponges. It was really hot!!

My first mile was an 11:30 and I was really happy. I hit mile 2 in 22:30 - amazingly I was actually picking up the pace (if only slightly). I walked mile 4. At mile 6, I was caught by some guy who wanted ibuprofen. After Vineman I made sure that I had Ibu with me, so I handed him a tablet. We chatted for a while until it became obvious that we knew each other. It was Dennis from RST and Greg Pressler's friend. Dennis pulled me to the run turnaround by alternating running and walking. Dennis kept talking about his Run special needs bag that contained a pair of dry socks. I remembered that my SNB only had Gu.

[see Note to Self from Bike Special Needs bag section - vary the contents of the Special Needs Bag]]

My split time for the 13.1 miles to the turnaround was 3 hours even. My friend Bill ran into and out of the turnaround looking great. He had a mechanical on the bike that cost him almost an hour.

Then I remembered that I had also put a pair of dry socks in my special needs bag. In fact I had brought a pair to Canada just for this purpose. The socks were pretty old, so if I chose not to wear them it was no big deal if I lost them. I was so happy that I had remembered to put fresh socks into my Needs Bag. The socks would only provide a momentary relief, but that moment would be enough. I needed something to brighten my day.

Dennis and I sat down to open our special needs bags. We ripped off our shoes and wet socks. We opened our special needs bags. Dennis pulled out a pair of dry socks.

OOPS! I had forgotten to pack the socks. I put my sweaty socks and shoes back on. Putting wet, icky socks back on was not the most pleasant feeling. The delivery truck with the chicken soup stopped at the turnaround.

I originally had hoped to be off the course by the time the chicken soup hit the aid stations. I had never envisioned myself only being halfway through the run when the chicken soup came out. Oh well, here I was and the soup smelled good. I sipped a cup and almost hurled. What is manna from heaven for many triathletes just did not sit well with me - I gagged at the first sip.

We started back down the road toward Penticton. The sun was starting to set which meant that it would finally cool off. Ray was just climbing the hill to the turnaround. He was surprised that the turnaround had come so soon - he looked smooth in his running form - nice and steady.

For Dennis and I it was:

Run some.

Walk more.

I ate what little I could at the aid stations.

Ray caught up to us just as we caught up to Bill. Bill had looked great leaving the turnaround, but he was struggling through a low point now. The four of us marched slowly along - it was good to know that every step was bringing us back into town. After a while Bill perked up again, and he and Ray started jogging back to town. Dennis and I kept shuffling along. A mile or two later, Dennis ducked into a porta-potty and I just stopped by the side of the road - the first time that I had urinated in 12+ hours! Believe it or not it was a major mental boost. I had really been starting to worry about my kidneys.

It became apparent that Dennis had a lot more left in his legs than I did. I wished him luck as he disappeared around a corner. My feet were really starting to hurt. I did not have any blisters or abrasions, but it felt like someone had taken a meat tenderizer to the soles of my feet and my toes. I was almost hoping that a couple of my toes would just fall off so that they would not hurt anymore. I came around a corner and hit another aid station. On the other side of the aid station Ray and Bill were walking slowly. They had dropped their pace in order to wait for me - THANKS GUYS!!!!

At that point we were about 20 miles into the marathon. Two women came running by us like it was a 10K - I wondered where they got the energy from. A few seconds later about 4 guys caught us and they laid out their very detailed plan for breaking 14 hours. It is great to be at a race with sooooo many engineers - almost everyone is incredibly analytical. The plan was pretty simple - hold 11 minute miles and we would break 14 hours, but these guys had even calculated walking zones and rest stops..... To everyone we passed - two of the guys kept on saying - "hop on the 9:00 o'clock express. You can do it."

It turns out that the guys had also shared their plan with the two women who had run by like gazelles. The women had found something inside themselves and they chose to push it hard into town. Unfortunately we passed them about 1/2 mile later as they could not hold that pace that they had charged ahead with.. We left the water line of Skaha Lake and started climbing the rollers. I passed another guy and this time I looked back and saw a Tri-DRS singlet. I introduced myself and finally met Jay Capers.

The group of us was still shuffling along trying to hold 11 minute miles. The detail oriented engineer guys were still calculating our odds of breaking 14. I dropped off as we went through the Skaha rollers, but I was able to catch the group again on the downhills. Ray and Bill were feeling pretty good, so they pulled ahead. This left me with the two human calculators/cheerleaders. The guy on the right introduced himself. I was not hearing or concentrating very well so I thought that he said his name was "Ralph." He corrected me that his name was not "Ralph" but "Rolf" - even my feeble brain was able to decipher that I was running next the "Keeper of the IMC Lodging and Goal Times List" I introduced myself to Rolf Arands.

The guy on my left said "didn't I give you a sandwich at the bike Special Needs Bag?" It was John Welch of RST. He had saved me on the bike and he was trying to pull me in for a sub 14 hour finish.

As before - we were shuffling along - only we had picked up the pace to give ourselves a margin of error. We debated about how fast we were running

"do you think this is a 9 minute mile?" "I think it's more like an 8:30" "Yeah right, like we could run 8:30's right now?" "It sure feels like an 8:30"

We turned onto Main Street and hit the aid station. I had to walk and asked Rolf and John to run on. Rolf tried to talk me into running with them, but I was not up for it. The finish line was getting closer, but I was hurting too much - my feet were lodging a formal protest.

I kept trudging along on Main Street. The fans were incredibly helpful. An ironvet on a bike talked to me for over a block - he was very motivating. I promised him that I wouild run again when there were three stoplights to go. Hurricane Bob Mina passed me and I congratulated him. I started jogging again.

Two blocks from the Hog's Breath I picked up my pace. I ran (actually ran - not jogged) the last few yards of Main Street - high fiving the kids and cheering with the crowd. I could not believe that I was running. The left turn onto Lakeshore Drive was incredible. I ran hard to the finish line and crossed in 14:10:48.

I completed my goal. I had gone from couch to Canada in 10 months. I am an IRONMAN.

POST-RACE:

Two incredible volunteers escorted me from the finish line. Somehow I received my IMC towel, finisher's medal and T-shirt (the correct size - how do they do it?). The ladies escorted my to the line for the massage tent per my request - they stayed with me for several minutes until they were sure that I was OK - they brought me water and some chicken soup. The chicken soup actually tasted great. I had a great massage, and I walked back to the finish line to find my wife who was standing right next to the results tent. It was sooooo good to see her. I got my congratulatory hug (over the snow fence) and I heard how proud she was of my accomplishment. After a very long day that was filled with ups and downs it was very uplifting to hear her words.

I picked up my gear bags, changed into some dry clothes, had my finishers photo taken (remember to wear your finisher's shirt and medal - they look great in the photo), I soaked my legs in a hot tub, and I waited to no avail for some pizza. I then picked up my bike and Winter and I walked back to the Rochester. My eyes felt like they had a salt shaker dumped in them - I had to squint to see anything. Winter was hungry after waiting for me for several hours so we went to the Iguana for a bite - nothing else was open at 11:00pm. Fajitas in Canada are not what I am used to - what is a tomato tortilla anyhow???? My stomach was still in an act of rebellion so I took my meal home to eat the next day. We turned on Channel 11 to watch the 17 hour finishers - there was no way that I was going to make it back to the finish line. The fireworks (like the start cannon) went off a little early. I then realized why my eyes were barely open - I was EXHAUSTED. I passed out almost immediately.

THE DAYS AFTER

I awoke on Monday feeling hungry (finally). My stomach was still a little tender, but I managed to eat.

I was happy to have completed my first IM in such difficult conditions, but I was frustrated that I had fallen apart during the race. 14 hours was much longer than what I had hoped to do.

I contemplated IMC '99. My legs hurt, my stomach still ached and I had not totalled the bills for the cost of IMC '98. I did not want to come back to Penticton again in '99. Then I thought twice - this race has the best organization and volunteers of any race that I have ever done. I want to do better than a 14 hour IM. In a month I would be ready to contemplate IMC '99, but I would not have a month to decide. I chose to submit my application for '99.

The rest of the day was a blur - finisher's merchandise, results book (Vineman and Wildflower's took about 3 months to arrive - IMC's was complete with pictures in about 10 hours), awards ceremony, shopping, packing, meeting friends, handing my bike off to Ray for the drive home. soon it was Tuesday morning and time to fly home.

Back home I evaluated the race. In Penticton, surrounded by IronVets, my finish did not look to stellar. As I reread my goals for the race and talked to non-triathletes I started thinking clearly again:

I have completed every one of my IMC '98 goals.

I am an Ironman.

I am not the same person that I was 10 months ago and I am very, very happy that I did what had to be done in order to finish.

To every IronVirgin out there - good luck training for your goals, and be sure to remember what your goals are!!!!

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