#her bread ain't sliced

[crazyk-imagine]

Things I Hate... Oh, and Oranges

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Plus size!reader

Characters: Rafe Cameron, Plus size!reader, Topper Thornton, Kelce, Sarah, mentions of the pogues

Warnings: Biggest warning ever, yall ain't ready, their characters aren't as bad here, fluff, rafe being a simp, rafe totally in love with reader, topper and kelce are butt heads in a friend way, not the obx way, Sarah and reader are casual besties, like they did a group project, vibed and have been friends ever since

Word Count: 773

Based on this post

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah told you to come by around this time because no one would be home, and you needed somewhere quiet to study.

She forgot to mention she'd be out with John B.

You don’t mind though; it makes things a little easier since she won’t be around to distract you with her gossip.

-

Rafe walks in and stops as soon as he passes the entrance to the kitchen, wondering if what he just saw was real or not.

He takes a step back and stays in the shadows, watching you.

He brushes a hand through his hair, wondering if he looks okay or if he needs to change his shirt. He looks down and frowns, the blood stain from Barry is visible.

He runs upstairs to change his shirt, wincing at the tingling in his hand. He groans under his breath, “serves him right.”

He doesn’t regret punching his dealer, Barry knows better than to provoke him.

-

You wander around the kitchen, searching for a few items.

You stir up the better by hand, rather than trying to figure out how Sarah’s mixer works. You swear she only bought it so only she could use it and no one else.

A knock on the doorway alarms you causing you to almost spill the contents in the bowl. “Holy- you scared me.”

He chuckles, “sorry, I was- I didn’t mean to.”

You huff and smile, “it’s fine, a little jump start in the heart never hurt anyone.”

He chuckles, “what’re you making?” He takes a seat on the other side of the counter.

“My special bread.”

“I didn’t take you for a stoner.”

Your jaw drops, “I am not.”

He chuckles, “okay, Cheech.”

You shake your head and place it into the cute little bread pan you bought her. “Now we wait.”

His eyes follow you as you sit back down at your little study corner. “What’re doing?”

“Studying, what are you doing?”

“Watching you.”

You roll your eyes, “wouldn’t you rather be out, talking to some cute girl?”

“I already am.”

“Smooth, too smooth on your part, Rafe.” You glance up from your textbook, “did you practice that one in the mirror?”

“I’d rather practice on you.”

“I hate how good you are at this.”

The corner of his lip tugs upward, “I know.”

The ding of timer alerts you.

“Yay,” you cheer while running towards the oven to take it out and take a whiff of the goodness it’s giving off.

“Do you want to try some Rafe?” You ask, cutting into the hot loaf.

“You actually want to share with me?”

“Don’t be like that, Rafe. I’m being nice here and this is how you pay it back.”

He chuckles, “no, give me a slice.”

“Manners.”

He pouts, grabbing a plate and holding it out in front of him. “Please, can I have a slice?”

“Yes, you can, you dramatic little dork.”

“Nothing about me is little.”

You play off the heat in your cheeks as the air emanates off the bread. “Sure, sure.”

-

Kelce and Topper walk in, searching for the sweet scent wafting through the house.

“Yo Rafe,” Kelce calls out. 

“In the kitchen.”

“You all speak so kindly to each other,” you tell him.

“Always, baby.”

“What smells so good?” Topper asks, stepping closer to you.

“Did you get a new perfume or something?”

You shake your head, “nope, just made my infamous bread.”

Their eyes practically widen at the sight. “We can’t wait.”

Kelce turns to Rafe and furrows his brow, “I thought you didn’t like orange?”

You turn towards him, seeing as he shoves the last piece of bread into his mouth. “You don’t like orange?”

He tries to argue and tell you he does but can’t as the other two take over.

“Yeah, he’s never been a fan of orange since he was a kid and his dad-” Topper smacks Kelce’s chest, causing the man to wheeze.

“I’m gonna kill you,” Rafe tells them as he takes a sip of water.

You grab his wrist and stop him. “Be honest, Rafe.”

He spins around and stares at you. “When am I not?”

You stare at him with a deadpan expression.

“Okay, I’ll be honest.”

“Do you or do you not like the loaf of bread I made?”

“It’s delicious. You know I think I could even eat it by myself.”

“You’re not lying.”

He shakes his head, “when have I ever lied to you?”

You shrug, “fair enough.”

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Dogs

Hildur Knutsdottir: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the night guest Knutsdottir: its about a woman who gets a full night's sleep so you would think she would be well rested (she's not) Knutsdottir: it's almost like something is possessing her while she sleeps (something is)

Knutsdottir: this possession Knutsdottir: you might think it's the yule lads (it's not the yule lads) Knutsdottir: or maybe grylla (its not grylla) Knutsdottir: perhaps its the hidden people (its not the hidden people)

Knutsdottir: now this woman also has a dead sister Knutsdottir: so you would think maybe the ghost of her dead sister is possessing her King: Poe: Lovecraft: Koontz: Barker: King: um King: was there supposed to be a parenthetical there Knutsdottir: not saying

Knutsdottir: now of course when this woman has weird sleep problems, you would of course take advantage of our socialized medical system to see a doctor (she does this) Knutsdottir: but even socialized medicine is not free from the scourge of sexism (there's a lot of it) Angela Carter: yes yes this scans

Knutsdottir: anyway that's the Icelandic socialized medicine system for you Dan Simmons: why do you have to bring politics into this? Simmons: i just want a nice apolitical scary story Knutsdottir: ok i'll fast forward to the cat murders Lovecraft: WHAT

Knutsdottir: yeah someone's been killing cats (it's her) which you wouldn't expect (she loves cats) Lovecraft: i can't listen to this! Lovecraft: i can tolerate rac- Barker: we know howard you say that everytime Lovecraft: it's my catch phrase! Barker: no it's not!

Knutsdottir: every night she walks across the city (to the harbor) Knutsdottir: now you think she might be visiting Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur (but she's not) Cynthia Pelayo: aw that hot dog ain't no good! King: what? hot dog? Knutsdottir: you're entitled to your opinion (it's actually the best in the city)

Pelayo: what dya even put on a hot dog over there? King: why are we talking about hot dogs? Knutsdottir: með öllu Pelayo: pfft! með öllu indeed! Pelayo: ya don't even know what you're getting!

Pelayo: i tell you, you want a hot dog, you get it CHICAGO STYLE Pelayo: mustard, chopped onion, pickle spears, sport peppers Pelayo: YEAH! CHICAGO STRONG, BABY!!! Pelayo: GO BEARS OR MAYBE WHITE SOX!!!

Knutsdottir: no no see a hot dog should have remolaði sauce (and apple ketchup) Pelayo: wtf! the only sauce that goes on a dog is mustard Knutsdottir: WHAT?! like the infidel bill Clinton?! (he ordered with only mustard during his 2004 visit) Knutsdottir: NEVER!!! Knutsdottir: it's með öllu!!! always með öllu!!!

Lovecraft: now i prefer my sausages providence style Barker: no you don't Barker: that's not even a thing Lovecraft: no it is! its when you put a Vienna sausage on a slice of white bread Barker: howard, we all know you don't eat ethnic food

Pelayo: who's ready for mouth watering hot dogs?? Lovecraft: ah sausages! Pelayo: Hebrew national hot dogs! Lovecraft: Lovecraft: [sweats]

[heartfullofleeches]

How would a dylan and cc friendship be like? Especially femme cc. Like ones a succubus and another s just a fuckgirl I bet they gossip abt their one night stands or smthn

Toxic Besties. Mostly hang out because they're invited to the same parties and vibe pretty well when Dylan isn't stealing shit from C.C's apartments. C.C is fake as hell and pretends Dylan is the best thing since sliced bread when she's around, but talks mad shit when she ain't. Still probably has had a few drunken make outs with her and is the first person Dylan calls when she needs help hiding a body. C.C is the closest thing Dylan would have to a true friend so she tries not to fuck things up, but she can't help but push C.C's buttons when he/she meets their darling around can't stop gushing about them.

-

C.C: y'ello?

Dylan: C - been a while. Hey, can you come down to the docks for a minute? Ran into a little trouble while running someone over and I could use your help.

C.C: ugh, bitch I told you I don't do that anymore. The police are already on my ass for trespassing and I just put my rollers in.

Dylan: Shame.... That cute thing you've had your eye on is gonna be at a party I'm heading to after a dump this off....

C.C: .... I'll be there in twenty minutes. Call them cute again and I'll put you in a grave right next to the tramp you just ran over.

[aheathen-conceivably]

🎶 In the desert you can't remember your name 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain

It had been months of looking for work, of walking the compacted sands and hot asphalt of Strangerville as Antoine’s hopes dwindled closer to nothing. The most recent shop that turned him away had given him directions to a ranch so deep in the valley he hadn’t even known anything was there before. He had second guessed going at all, wondering if it was a fool’s errand or a disgruntled local’s cruel idea of a joke. 

But as he walked onto the plateau that spanned the top of the landscape, his worries melted into stunned silence. It was like a different world, suspended above the one below with vistas so grand he didn’t know they could possibly exist in this world. As though his wonder couldn’t grow, he suddenly heard neighing that he recognized from his fondest memories.

There was no word for the horses other than magnificent, no way for him to express how much they fulfilled every dream he ever had of this place or every feeling of freedom he expected to find here. They seemed to live the way he wanted to, simply existing in the hot desert air without any bounds placed upon their heads.

“Hey, mister! Mister! You looking for work or somethin’?”

Antoine pulled his eyes away from the horses begrudgingly, toward the voice that had spoken to him. It was a lone man across the enclosure, his heavy boots marking every step he took across the sand toward where Antoine stood. 

For a moment, Antoine smiled at him. When he left New Orleans he had never expected to see anyone here who looked like him, and the unexpected presence of another black man immediately made him feel more comfortable, “I am, sir. Work on your ranch. I was told you were looking for help.”

Antoine’s relief quickly dissipated as the man narrowed his eyes and spit into the sand, “Well that was before all you Okies started passing through. You know I’ve got a family to feed too right? I can’t just hand out jobs to every straggler who walks by.”

For a moment Antoine went to respond, but he could see the purposefully hardened expression tighten on the man’s face, so he simply tipped his hat and walked away.

Before he could take ten steps a small, breathless child ran in front of him, “Sir, wait! My momma just finished a loaf of bread, if you wanna come inside! She can spare a slice or two and maybe some jam, maybe…”

Before he could finish a loud voice boomed from behind him, “William you leave that man alone, you hear? I’m sorry, mister. My son, he’s a bit soft hearted, I’m afraid.”

Antoine looked down at the boy and smiled, “That’s alright, I’ve got a girl just about your age. Her name is Violette. But you tell your momma to save that bread for someone who really needs it, alright, son? I’ll be just fine.”

The sound of heavy boots approached again, and the man put his arm around his son before looking back up at Antoine, “You ain’t no Okie, are you? Not with that voice. Where are you from, anyway?”

“New Orleans. We have a farmhouse down the way, just before town.” 

“New Orleans, huh?” The man looked back down at his son with a whistle, as though the words themselves were foreign and impressive. Then he gave him a quick tap on the back, “Go back inside to your Momma, Will. Tell her I’ll be in shortly.”

As his small feet ran away, the man looked back at Antoine, “Listen here, I’m Abraham. I don’t have much, not enough to guarantee pay week by week, but at least it’s something. And your girl, Violette you said? She’s welcome to eat here if you need. My wife works down at the schoolhouse but she’s a mighty cook. We can get you set up with schooling too. But don’t expect much else; I reckon the pay round here isn’t gonna get much better with time.”

It was a better offer than Antoine had heard since he arrived, and pay seemed inconsequential next to that fact that Violette wouldn't have to go hungry again; maybe she could even have a friend in this lonely and foreign place. He looked down at the the man’s hand extended in front of him and reached out to it like a lifeline, “I’ll take it, sir.”

[stars-n-spice]

Silly Squad Alignment Charts

Because I thought it would be fun and silly :)

Find out more about the Silly Squad here!

Of course, have to start with the classic:

Hunter will say they have food at home and it's literally like probably two slices of bread, a bottle of ketchup, and a head of lettuce

Viram KNOWS how to cook so you best be happy to eat her food instead of having Mcdonalds

Khea and Echo it depends on their mood whether they pull up and order a single black coffee before leaving (Echo would never do it if Omega is in the car)

Crosshair doesn't even like their coffee but he does it to be a little shit

Feel like Tech is also kinda in the middle because he'll be like "Technically we have food at home-" but he also needs his caffeine

Phee will ALWAYS pull up to the Mcdonalds, especially when Omega's with her. Then Omega always holds it over Hunter- "Well, PHEE takes ME to Mcdonalds!"

Tay is the definition of a bastard (no seriously)

Phee is bastard (affectionate) but would technically be more of "Badass" than anything

Khea, Crosshair, and Tech are the Bitch Trio and if you put them in a room together they WILL tear each other apart (emotionally most likely but Tech will goad Crosshair and Khea into physically fighting each other while he records)

Majority of the squad is Babey though

Echo is also "Bad Ass" but he could also be a Bitch if he wanted

Hunter is Bastard just because I think it's funny

Dumb Bitch Hunter my beloved <3

Echo is sad dick because he has no dick

I use dumb affectionately with Wrecker (not with Hunter and Tay)

Tech just has big dick energy to me idk

Khea's a sad hoe but she'll never admit to it (the being sad part)

If you've noticed, I really like making fun of Hunter that's why he's there in the dumbass squared category

Wrecker, Khea, and Phee are all smart as fuck but have more fun pretending that they aren't really

Tay is good at pretending that he is smart - he is not

Then of course, Tech, Cross, and Echo are all smartasses

This fit so perfectly I was dying

Hunter is laughing nervously because he's aroace lmao

Omega would be like "Thanks! :D" and just carry on

Jung would most likely do *thumbs up* instead of finger guns though

When you pair up the couples, it's funnier

If Tay said "I know" after Cross told him that he loved him, Crosshair would dump him on the spot

Khea tells Wrecker she loves him for the first time and he short circuits and probably would say something along the lines of "YEET!"

Viram and Echo both have issues and would not be able to comprehend why someone would love them - I'm sure Echo's got insecurities and Viram knows she's a workaholic and therefore difficult to be in a relationship so she apologies in advance

If Phee told Tech she loved him and he went "a horrible decision, really" she'd probably laugh

And of course, who doesn't love Phee? If you don't, get out of here.

Crosshair could care less, he ain't dealing with that shit

Tech would say this ominously as if he's seen the future and knows your death is imminent meanwhile Khea's is more of a - "you probably will because everyone close to me has already died" sort of way :/

I feel like Omega might also be "i'd die for you first" too

Hunter, Viram, and Echo don't want to deal with that shit either, they've already got so much loss, guilt, and other things on their plate

Tay's probably not listening when someone tells him they'd die for him while Phee's like, "Oh, neat. Anyways, as I was saying about my last adventure-"

Jung is ready and willing to put his life on the line and Wrecker would probably more like a "Nu uh" because he's got your back and would look out for you

Phee will also do it for some credits or a cool treasure

Tay is going to fight god (and he's going to lose)

Tech could do so much more than take down the government, but he needs incentives (him and Phee can take down the government together <3)

Khea is a bounty hunter, her job literally requires her to stab people sometimes in order for her to get money

Crosshair would stab without anyone needing to ask him

Echo's taking down the government no matter what, but especially if Rex asks him to come along

Jung is going to fight god if you ask them to (and he'll win)

Viram is the type of friend who is an excellent tutor and you end up understanding the concept after getting her help meanwhile Omega will explain what she knows and then the homework becomes a group project of figuring out what the fuck it's asking

You can copy Hunter's homework but there is no guarantee that the answers are right (most of them are wrong)

You can copy Jung's homework and there's a high chance the answers are right

Khea had better things to do than homework - like get frustrated over it and cry for a bit before giving up on it

Phee did some of the homework but she'll only help you out if you give her something in exchange

Wrecker and Tay, beloved himbos, they had no idea and even if they did do the homework, you wouldn't want to copy off of them

Crosshair also didn't do the homework but he also doesn't want to respond

Tech and Echo both did the homework and it's correct but they don't tolerate copying work to even have suggested it is offensive so now you're left on read

[bengiyo]

Laws of Attraction Eps 1 and 2 Stray Thoughts

For @lurkingteapot, @negrowhat, and @troubled-mind, here are some highlights from the voice recordings Bestie and I sent to the chat while we were watching the first two episodes.

Episode 1

Ben: They were death-flagging on this child, so David and I decided to take the over-under on how long it would take this child to die. We gave it five minutes. So, two minutes later.... David: They ran over that child like Wile E. Coyote!

David: I can't go to Thailand. Ben: I'm scared! I'm really scared!

Ben: I'm so excited. This is giving everything. We got a kid run over by a car after death flagging six different ways, and David's like that list better not be in that bag! Cuts to the bag. The list is covered in blood. David: This is a Mexican telenovela!!

Episode 2

Ben: Let's talk about this sandwich. This man put all this presentation into a single sandwich, which he cut in half! Then split between the two of them, garnished with a piece of lettuce, a slice of tomato, and a ton of onion....along with some orange juice from concentrate?? With bread that looks like it was burnt to within in inch of its life on a George Foreman Grill..... This man is insane.... Like we already knew that. This man is as insane as Bill in Kill Bill 2 using a whole chef's knife to spread mayonnaise on a sandwich.

Ben: Okay, David, you were correct. I'll give you a Clowned Correctly award. David said that that man is not touching him because he's insane and he absolutely wants that man to want him when he finally fucks him. I love it though! He's like, "You were drunk, and you puked on yourself. So I removed your clothes to clean you up, and lusted. I sure did! But I didn't touch you! Because that would get me 4-20 year in prison. And they're not gonna have my ruffles and bubble baths in prison." David: "I'm a not-so-secret luxurious bitch. I don't DO cells." Ben: This high sadity mofo's like, "Uh-uh. But! Since you're sober now!" David: "Let's talk!!" Ben: I love this man. David: "Good! What's really good?"

Ben: Not this man getting out of this car... David: With the gayest shirt! Ben: What the fuck is going on with this collar and these overlong goddamn sleeves? This man is a menace. David: This is giving, "Give me shirt but also a Faustian nightmare." Ben: He looks like someone just popped a can of cinnamon rolls. David: I can't want more for you than you want for yourself. Ben: I...am overdone...with this show... David: And not champagne colored! You're a gay man! You know better! Ben: Look how it's sitting on his shoulders! This is a travesty!

Ben: I know we comment on how unhinged this man is in every scene, but why is he taking the One Ring to Mordor as well?

Ben: This is the least insane he's looked in this show, and that's saying something. We've been here for nine hours.

Ben: I see why @ginnymoonbeam said this show might be for the KinnPorsche enjoyers because this is now the next show where we've watched a father slap his son in the most bitchless way possible. David: Slaps always come in threes! The first is your first salvo. The second, this time, is aiming to fuck up some real estate. The third is the disrespect.

David: They clearly defined her relationship with her employees. They are not afraid of her. If these are hoes, they feel taken care of. Ben: I don't know what the relationship is between Organ and Silvy's characters, but I hope we get to see them fuck on screen. David: If we don't, why am I here? I require women doing filthy shit to each other. I can get BL anywhere. I came to see women doing shameful things with each other. I came here for Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in Bound. I did not come here for the Bridges of Madison County. Ben: Girl you ain't never lie!

David: I'm here for this. The unapologetic sissiness is what I live for. He had me when he pulled out that little gun. "Now, I can date you, but I can also put you down like a dog." You know there's nothing I love more than Gays With Guns. Look at God. Won't he do it. Ben: God had nothing to do with iQIYI.

[saintsir4n]

PROLOGUE

where tommy shelby decides to take a leap of faith

___

1913

"COME on 'Saiah, maths ain't that hard, even I could do it and I didn't know my dividing from my multiplying,"

"What's that?" he groaned, dropping his pencil and pouting his lips, which Eden thought was adorable, but she couldn't say it aloud otherwise he would whine and cry about being treated like a child. Brat. "Those ain't real words."

"They are, trust me and you'll learn 'em soon. Don't worry kid, just remember we have to get this homework sheet done, I don't want your teacher actin' up."

"'Cause she's a... what d'you call it, a b-bitch?"

Her eyes widened at the curse, "Isaiah."

"You say it and so does Finn," he quickly explained, patting the table.

"Neither of you lot are supposed to say it. You're kids!"

"I'm almost six," he said cheekily as if it meant anything.

She pinched his cheeks, "Still a baby to me."

"I am not a baby, Dad said I'm a big boy," he spoke grumpily, "I can count to fifty y'know?"

Knocking at the front door caught their attention.

Eden frowned because she knew her parents had a key, same with her uncle Jeremiah and he didn't stop preaching until he 'put the fear of god into small heath', even though she couldn't tell if he believed the words he spoke. Whoever was rapidly knocking slightly worried her.

"How about, you stay here and count to fifty like a big boy and then we can stop for a bit," she hushed him before he could clap excitedly, "I'll throw in some sweets if you can keep quiet and finish one of these sums alright?"

Isaiah nodded happily and started counting, holding his hands up to help him, not wanting to ruin his chances of getting some sweets along with his Friday night chips that his dad brought home with him.

Eden cautiously approached the front door, all while wishing she brought a knife from the kitchen or a nursing needle from the nursing course she was taking (following in her mother's footsteps she was).

If she had a religious bone in her body she would've prayed, but there was no God in Small Heath, only devils existed 'round here.

And that was who was on the other side of the door.

Thomas bloody Shelby.

Stood there leant against the archway of the door without uttering a single word.

Tilting her head upwards, Eden met his impenetrable gaze.

During their school years, not one word was exchanged between them, well being in different years groups would do that and the fact he never seemed to stray far from his two best friends Greta and Freddie, just like Lorenzo and Dorris never strayed from her. Not one word and yet she usually talked to his brother John, with him being in the same year as her.

Eden didn't know what to do other than glance behind her, hoping not to see Isaiah making his way around the corner but luckily all she could faintly hear was him struggling to count. When she turned back she gulped at the sight of Tommy. Eyes as piercing as snow, not even the peaky hat could protect her from his stare. With his fairly chapped lips and a jaw that could slice its way through the thickest bread one could buy at the local bakery, she took a step back, swiftly raking her gaze down his slightly worn suit and dress shoes that must've been polished this morning.

Tommy was frustratingly handsome and to him, she was infuriatingly beautiful.

He was there for a reason, though he'd never uttered a word to the girl he'd grown up with he knew there was more than what met the eye. He knew her closest friends, which sibling of his she spoke to, her parents' profession and what she might do with her future. He knew she would come to the door cautiously considering the rough street they lived on. He knew her short hair would be styled back in a bun which unintentionally insinuated her flawless features. And he knew she would be wearing an ankle-length skirt and a loose-fitting blouse similar to his aunt. Why? He just knew.

They never spoke a word to each other.

Not one word until now.

"You lost?" she asked, leaning forward and glancing around the noisy street.

And what he was about to say next, she could never have predicted.

"Come to my uncle's yard, John told me you know where it is," he replied shortly, taking her back.

She blinked at him, ignoring how his gruff voice made her feel, "Hello Tommy, nice to see you too."

He continued, unaffected by her sarcasm, "Just come."

Her grip on the door tighten, "And why would I listen to you?"

He shrugged, "Well, As your future husband, I want to show you things that no one else will."

A laugh of disbelief escaped her lips and yet she didn't smile, much to his chagrin.

"And what things are they Mr Shelby?" her grip on the door loosened slightly, which he took note of.

"Anything you ask, meet me at my uncle's yard and don't be late."

"And what if I am?" she dared to ask, rolling her shoulders back and insinuating her neck. A bear neck, like always. He assumed that a cross would cover it, but even when they were all forced to go to church as kids she never wore one. "What will you do huh?"

His tongue swiped over his teeth before answering, "Then I'll just have to wait for you then eh?"

She wanted to smile at his answers, they were all so...charming, but why would she believe the ladykiller of small heath? Just as she went to reply, she was interrupted.

"Edie!" Isaiah's little voice boomed through the little space, making her sigh and Tommy raise a brow and cocked his head to the side, letting his eyes dart around the small foyer of the narrow home. Cleaner than my house that's for fucking sure. It looked cosy and warm, filled with pictures, hanging from the walls and cluttered on the small table near where shoes laid, "Counted to a fifty, I did."

"Then finish the sum!" her voice pulled him from his thoughts and a ghost of a smile tugged at his lips.

Hearing Isaiah's huff and groan, Eden exhaled and turned back to a rather amused Tommy.

"What?" she questioned, finally dropping her hand from the door.

"Nothing," he paused, "I don't remember you being so good at maths at school."

Her brows pinched together, "You didn't speak to me at school so how would you know that?"

"Finn tells me things," he recalled all the times his littlest brother would run home after being babysat by Eden and gush over every little thing she did, "You help him with readin' and writin' like Isaiah back there."

"Two little shits that drive me off the bend," she blurted out, then went to correct herself remembering who she was speaking to, "shit- I mean-" he swiftly cut her off.

"Thick as thieves those two," he said, amused by her cursing, "Our Finn is head-case and despite Jeremiah stalking through town and trying to fill it with hope and all the godly advice in the bloody world, Isaiah is just like my brother."

She hummed and then changed the conversation.

"Am I even your type? Because the women I've seen you with are the same colour as my palm if that."

"So you watch me," he noted rather smugly, though his face didn't show it, his eyes beamed slightly.

"Easy, I notice things."

"As do I," he retorted, "You're wrong, about the women you see me with," she raised a questioning brow, urging him to go on, "I don't have a type, you can say there's a pattern —"

"And you wanna break it with me? No chance."

She didn't want to be the first black woman he bedded, even though she highly doubted she would be. Well, that and she didn't want to give in to the small-town gangster.

"Haven't you heard? Life is full of chances," he jested.

"Cute."

"And you should take one on me."

Rolling her eyes, "Since I watch you..." her tone turned mocking, "I could've sworn you have a woman, at least that's what the streets are saying."

"The streets of Small Heath are full of lies," he spoke, pulling out a cigarette tin, growing slightly irritated from all her assumptions and questions. He didn't think it would be easy to get someone like Eden Dawkins, he liked a challenge, but she was fucking stubborn. Like trying to force the wrong bullet into a barrel, it won't fucking go. "And fuckin' smoke," he added, pulling out a lighter.

Not being able to help herself her gaze dropped to his lips just as the cigarette swiped against them before he lit it. He took a drag and turned his head as the smoke escaped.

A sly smirk appeared on his face after noting her stare.

"What?"

"Nothing," she quickly cleared her throat and ignored the beam in his icy eyes, "it's just that you contribute to the latter well enough," she uttered, quickly nodding to his cigarette. Fuck I need one.

"Yeah, the factories help me out a bit."

She almost smiled.

"I suppose, but I'm just remembering what I was told... you know about you being taken."

"By who?"

"Whom," she corrected.

"Fine, whom?"

"The eyes of small Heath." Her eyes, but she wouldn't admit that.

"Alright. You think if I had a woman I would look at you, be on your doorstep?" he asked after taking another drag, even offering her a hit, but she refused, despite needing a release of her own.

"I hope not. Or I would let her know that her man's a dog," she said, holding back a smile.

He made a noise, "A horse is more fitting."

"Ah yes, your family loves to ride," she quickly added, "John's on four feet more than he's on two."

"It's in the blood. Gypsy blood," he informed, waiting to see how she would react to his background.

It wasn't a secret where his family came from, most people were disgusted by them, many hid it well, whilst the others got a beating if they opened their gobs.

He was glad when he didn't catch any indifference in her demeanour. She didn't care or didn't see any faults in it. He supposed that she couldn't, being black and all, but if you weren't pure-blooded you would get put into the same boat as everyone else or the bottom of the barrel. And that's where one would find people like them; Watery Lane.

"I'm scared of horses," she admitted.

He squinted, "What has a horse ever done to you, Eh?"

"Mum doesn't like 'em, so I guess she passed that on to me."

"Suppose I have to change that," I will change that.

"Not without asking that girl of yours," she finally smiled at her own joke and so did he.

He playfully rolled his eyes, "I'm available, not with anyone and those who say they're with me are lying alright."

"Alright. Because I don't like cheaters. I despise the lot of 'em, just like those toffs despise us."

"It's a good thing I'm not one then ain't it?"

Finally giving in, she shrugged, "I guess you're right."

"And what about you," he turned it on her, "I heard I weren't the only lad in knockin' at your door."

She hummed, folding her arms, "There's a long list."

Narrowing his eyes, he didn't know whether or not she was playing with him, "How long?"

"No need to bawl and shout. According to the eyes of Small Heath, it goes from here to bloody Black Country. But all you need to know is that you could be at the end..." she trailed off.

"Last darlin', last."

"Oh really?"

"Changretta won't storm your mind when you next see me I promise you that."

She laughed, "Changretta, which one? Just like you Shelbys, there's many."

"You know which one, I don't have to spell it out for you," he took his last drag and let the cigarette drop before stomping it out.

"You might, I'm a woman y'see, I don't always get things straight away, have to get a man to dumb things down f'me."

He almost smiled again at her teasing, but all joy faded as he spoke.

"Luca," he pronounced as clear as day, with his jaw tightening ever so slightly. That bloody jawline. He knew she was heavily involved with the Changrettas, her closest friend was Lorenzo for Christ's sake and she even talked to the Angel also. But Luca... he and Luca never got along. not during school or out of it. Shelby's and Changretta's... like water and oil. Them being Italian meant they were also the bottom of the barrel, but that didn't mean they had to get along. "That Changretta."

She began to grin and even though he wanted to enjoy her expression, he took a mental picture and decided to save it for later.

"Ah, so the eyes of Small Heath have told you about me and him is that right?"

"Yeah, these bloody eyes seem to know all."

She hummed, "Bloody nosey."

"Too right," he agreed.

"So confident, where has this man been for the last couple of years? Pestering other doorsteps and desecrating other homes," she motioned to the used cigarette, which made him quickly kick it away.

"Making sure he was the right man for you," he spoke not taking his eyes off of her which made her cave and look away, much to his amusement because he caught the light blush kissing her caramel skin.

"You've got the charm," she annoyedly admitted, "it's all in the eyes."

He huffed out a chuckle, "Don't stare for too long, yours will get stuck."

Feigning offence, "And then I won't take you up on that offer, oh no."

Checking his watch, he tsked and ignored her quip. He shot her one last look and then spun on his heel, before shouting, "I'll see you at Charlie's yard Eden!"

"No, you won't!"

"Don't dress up for me!"

"Wasn't gonna!"

And with that, she slammed the door shut with the biggest smile on her face.

"Edie!" Isaiah yelled, "I'm done!"

"Sure you are little man!"

"Can we get sweets now?" he eagerly asked after she entered the kitchen and saw the biggest drawings all over his homework, making her curse.

"You ain't done. Your dad will be on my arse if he sees this."

"He won't. Just like I won't tell him about Tommy comin' over."

His cheeky grin widened at the glare he received.

"Fine," she gave in, "but don't tell your dad."

"Promise."

"Alright get your coat," she huffed as he ran away, "little shit."

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

a/n:

dorathy dandridge is eden’s face claim. this story is also on my wattpad account, but I know that many people cannot access the app/website so I’ll try and post on both.

[sllowshow]

hanna children's palates emergency list.

cora's nostalgic i'll stop saying it soon. artificial flavors, simplicity. back to a better time. sweet sweets, bright fruity flavors, fried foods warm and salty and dense. orange slices and pretzel sticks and dry cereal by the handful. it tastes like summer vacation and unspent potential.

finn's tastes are rich, deep, indulgent. taking the bull on by the horns. red meat, dark wines, bitter chocolates. cashews and layered exotic flavors. definitely a guy with a chili recipe he's got a lot of opinions about. up to try anything once.

zoe's tastes are more delicate. she likes it sweet and light. white honeyed wines, salads with slightly soured dressings, and fresh bread with butter. basic perhaps, but good things don't have to be flashy. a perfectly ripe tomato is more rare and precious than caviar.

maisyn likes food that comforts. creamy mac and cheese, thick soups and chowders in the winter, a plate of fries for the table, an english muffin smothered in cookie butter. she's free-styling, hedonistic cravings win. some call it munchies but she'd call it going with the flow.

ayla likes something flashy. like she's always going to go for whatever sounds the chicest. seafood risottos, gelato, anything with truffles. she's curious as to what's going on with the cronut. a little pretentious but also known to be a menace up in the local froyo shop after a breakup. we can't be on all the time.

rylan's tastes are pretty classic. if it ain't broke, don't fix it. he likes green beans, poultry, potatoes in any and all forms. now he's picky with it. because he grew up in a house where you got a pretty good baseline idea of what these foods were supposed to taste like. but he's pretty easy to please. very into thanksgiving (finn will still eat more, but rylan will feel it deeper.)

orla is probably the hardest to peg because i think she's the most willing to like explore new things. light, refreshing, sweet are obviously all things that come to mind as a baseline, but i think as she grows and continues in her own culinary journey, she's learning how good it can be to have something creamy or rich or spicy or literally whatever. like i think she'd on a mission to expand the way she thinks about food as a whole. that's my fucking girl.

[cinamun]

To take mercy to the hospital bishop could’ve done a lot of things. He could’ve called the cops on a pay phone and hide his voice to report it. He could’ve taken the license plates off his car and just dropped mercy at the hospital. What I mean by dropped he could’ve literally pushed her out of the car and drove off. Bishop could’ve also used mercy’s phone and texted Jayjay pretending to be mercy and saying baby I don’t feel so good. He could’ve texted anyone in her contacts lists saying I don’t feel really good I feel so weird and hazy. No, instead the man wants to cover his ass like he always does at risk of killing mercy. He does shit that is convenient to him, that will benefit him, that will be okay for him. He doesn’t care about mercy, he isn’t caring about mercy, he’s making sure that she doesn’t die for he isn’t found out. But the truth always comes to light one way or another, bishop.

Now why would he push her out of the car into the snow nonny? He's cruel, but not heartless! Okay he's ALSO heartless but I don't think he'd do that to Mercy.

He's also spent multiple decades in prison. A place where felons learn all kinds of self-preservation skills. Everything from how to bake a birthday cake using nothing but ramen noodles, kool aid pouches, sweet n low packets and bread slices. Imagine learning to stitch wounds or treat a concussion after a brawl left you (or your crew) banged up and bruised. Something something something institutionalized mindset that would rather not involve any sort of authority.

He must be doing something right... she ain't dead.

[aramis-dagaz]

Star Fox: Crew Rest, Part 1

This story takes place one year after the events of Star Fox: Assault and two years before Star Fox Command.

As evening approached the temperature began to drop within the Fichina University Department of Astrosciences building.  There was no need to keep the interior any warmer than above freezing as most of the students and faculty had already left for the day.  Only a handful stayed behind, using personal space heaters, hot water bottles, and heavy jackets to keep the chill at bay as they continued their work.

Isabelle didn’t notice the cold until her shivering made it difficult to keep typing.  She only took a short break to put on her coat and gloves, turn on her space heater, and drink some hot coffee from her thermos, and then it was back to work.  There was always a mountain of paperwork in the Dean’s office, from invoices and inter-department communications to student grades and research grant requests.  Someone had to make sure the papers were filed, the requests routed, and the daily thrum of mail kept moving, and the pool of secretaries had steadily dwindled since she started working here four months ago.  Even with less hands to handle the paperwork, the work itself never stopped.

She didn’t mind, though.  It was gratifying to be so useful and busy, so she stayed behind long after the others left and the temperature in the building had dropped.  She found that she did some of her best work in the evening, when there were fewer distractions and the incoming flow of work slowed, if only for the night.  Plus, no one was around to be bothered by her humming, which helped keep her spirits up.

A knock on the door of her office caused her to nearly drop the stack of papers she was holding.  Isabelle wasn’t expecting anyone as the Dean had long ago left for home and most of the professors were also gone for the day.  “One moment!” she said, crossing the few feet to her office door.  Upon opening it, she was greeted by the sight of a familiar pink-furred rabbit.

“Hi Lucy!” Isabelle said.

"Evening, Izzy!"  Lucy looked past her into Isabelle’s crowded office.  It was more of a glorified storage closet, stuffed with boxes and stacks of paper, but she didn't mind.  So long as she had a desk for her computer and space to store paperwork, that's all she needed.  "Still working hard?"

"Oh yes!  There are grades to file away, expense accounts to add to the ledger, meeting minutes to transcribe and–"

"Same as always, I see.  Have you had dinner yet?"

"No, but I'm okay!” Isabelle replied.  “I had a sandwich from the vending machine in the breakroom for lunch today.  It was pretty good."

"The ones made from those impossibly thin slices of bread?” Lucy said.  “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.  How about we go hit up Leo's?  I could really use one of his coffees to perk me up after such a long day."

"Oh, well, I'd love to, but there's still a lot of–"

"C'mon, the work ain't going anywhere.  I don't think this place will collapse if you're gone for a couple hours."

"Well, yes, but–"

"My treat," Lucy said.  "And they're serving Leo's special tonight."

Isabelle hesitated for a moment.  She hated to leave all this work behind, but then again, Leo's was her favorite restaurant.  And if Lucy was treating her...

"Okay, let me get my hat and parka.  I think the cold air will help energize me a bit."

The early spring air practically hit her in the face the moment she stepped outside.  Isabelle quickly tightened her hood, leaving only her eyes and a flash of yellow fur visible.  Her entire body shivered as she and Lucy huddled together and practically jogged through the snow to the University metro station.  Leo’s was a beloved fixture in the building, offering a nice view of the passing metro trains and Fichina City’s skyline while promising a quick, hot meal for those on the go and a warm place to sit for those with the time to spare.

They both stayed silent until they got their cups of Leo’s finest, as they would barely have been able to get a proper word out until they warmed up and the chattering of their teeth stopped.  It was practically a ritual here, with all other concerns put on hold until one was warm and comfortable.  Isabelle wasn’t sure if Leo’s coffee was so good because it was so warm after a jaunt through the frigid air or if it was simply that amazing.  Probably a mix of both, though she never had a chance to try it otherwise.

“Ah, that hit the spot!” she sighed.

“Yeah, makes it worth the dash through the cold just to get here!” Lucy agreed.  “If they ever build that coffee pipeline the engineering students keep talking about every year, I might never leave the Astroscience building.”

“Oh, wouldn’t that be convenient!”

Lucy smirked over her cup.  “On second thought, maybe it is a good thing they haven’t gotten around to it.  Gives us an excuse to get out of there every now and then.”

“Such a cruel fate.  Imagine how much more work I could get done!”

“Yeah, kinda frightening to think about.”  After placing their orders for two Leo’s Special, Lucy continued.  “So how have you been?  We haven’t had much chance to catch up, what with midterms bearing down on us.”

“Yeah, pretty busy, but I’ve been able to stay on top of it,” Isabelle said.  “The work hasn’t seemed to let up since Cara and Dachs were let go last month, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“I see,” Lucy said, her gaze not wavering from Isabelle.  “Izzy, give it to me straight: when was the last time you went home?”

“Oh!  Uh…”  Isabelle shrank into herself, though not from the cold this time.  “...Last weekend?”

“Izzy!”

“It’s okay, really!  The gym showers are not far away from the Astroscience building, and I’m able to get back home to do laundry and make myself meals for the week!”

“It’s a near-literal icebox at night!  How do you stand sleeping in there?”

“I have plenty of blankets and the small office warms up pretty quickly.  I get so much done this way!”

Lucy buried her face in her hands and sighed.  “Izzy, I swear, this department doesn’t deserve you.”  She ran her hands through her hair and over her ears, causing them to spring back upright as she stared out the window.

"Look, Izzy,” she said, “there was a reason I wanted to talk with you tonight.  I won't sugarcoat it: the University is downsizing."

"Again?"

"Yes, again.  And you're on the chopping block this time."

Isabelle blinked in surprise and her breath caught in her throat.  "What?  Me?  Why?"

Lucy scowled out the window in the direction of the University.  "The Dean has no idea how much you hold her office together and frankly doesn't care aside from how much the admin staff is costing the department.  I tried to fight it and tell her she’s an idiot for even thinking of laying you off, but she’s not interested in what a mere associate professor has to say.”  She sighed heavily, weariness crossing her face.  “I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I’d rather you hear it from me now than when the University hands you your severance notice."

"Oh."  Isabelle gazed into her coffee, suddenly feeling exhausted.  She'd been working at the University for four months, the longest she held onto a job for the past year since Snowpoint was destroyed in the Aparoid War.  She hoped that finally she found a place for her after all this time, and she made such good friends while working there.  Apparently, it wasn't to be.  "Well, I guess it's back to the job search.  I'm sure there are companies hiring."

Lucy placed her hand on hers and smiled.  "Well, there I have some good news!  You remember that my dad works for Star Fox, right?”

The bells in Isabelle’s hair tie jingled as she perked up.  “Of course!  How can I forget?”

Lucy’s smile grew.  “Well you see, with all of the work they've been getting recently between hunting down Androssian and Aparoid remnants and providing security details throughout Lylat, they've been overwhelmed with all of the paperwork.  They're pilots, not office workers.  Dad complains about it every time I talk to him.  So, I can let him know you're looking for a new job.  I have no doubts they'll hire you on the spot, and I guarantee you, they will appreciate the work you do and the pay will be a lot better."  Her eyes flashed darkly.  "I'll make sure of that."

Isabelle felt tears of relief and gratitude welling up in her eyes.  "Oh Lucy, how can I ever thank you?"

"No need to thank me, this is the least I can do for all of the hard work and long hours you've done for the department.  I can only hope the job makes up for all of the crap you had to put up with over the past six months."

"Oh!  Speaking of which, I really should get back!  I have to make sure all of my work is finished, the reports are organized, and–"

"Whoa, settle down there for a second," Lucy said, putting a hand on her shoulder.  "They're firing you, remember?  I don't think you owe them anything.  Let’s enjoy our dinner, talk about something other than work, and then you go home and, I dunno, finish reading that novel you've been telling me about.  Let me talk to Dad and I'll let you know what he says in the morning, okay?"

Isabelle nodded, her bells ringing merrily.  “Okay!”

“Then it’s settled!  Now,” Lucy said, her nose twitching mischievously, “since I don’t know when I’ll be able to do this next, let me regale you with the latest inter-departmental drama wracking our fair U of F…”

[wetcatspellcaster]

After reading the last chapter of AHL I've been screaming for a week now.

They are so useless without Rose 😂 Remembering how in Bleeding heart they all were either scoffing at her helping everyone or saying something like "not the time" to THAT? Wow. Also, in the chapter where Rose said "hey, I'll understand if you don't want me as a leader now that you know I lied"... Well, now they'll know what would've happened if anyone agreed to that. If they would not have been beaten before by others. And I understand that perhaps they would've found their footing eventually, if Rose left to be safe and research for them, like Astarion suggested near the crèche. They were probably scared for her life and wellbeing almost the same level as Astarion, knowing how much she had helped them all. Honestly, I myself would've died for Rose.

When Astarion "realized" he was in love with her I audibly said "well duuuuh" He is so silly sometimes.

Rose's "I'm glad it's not you in my place" broke my heart. I suspect she had practical reasoning behind those words, like she does not feel fear, but Astarion still does and it could've potentially triggered him. But oof. The ones who deserves a helping hand from Orin are Gortash, Emperor, and low-key - Wyll's dad.

I laughed so much at Jaheira. I just love her so much. "What am I? Sliced bread?" had me rolling.

I'm fretting and excited for the next chapter. As much as I love Orin, I want to see how badass Rose will be in Disintegrating her.

Thanks for your work! Your fics are one of my comfort things after a hard day. Take care!

Hi anon, thank you for reading.

To be honest, I don't think they're useless without Rosalie, but I like finding the reasoning behind the protagonist syndrome/plot armour videogames rely on as a format thing, and I think in the case of (a good-aligned) Tav it makes sense for it to be bc they're the group's control freak :') they're the Tav who stepped up :') if Rosalie had gone missing in Act 1 I think the organisation less terrible, but everyone's going through it and they've gotten used to her being the person who thinks outside themselves. There's a reason why the people who have gotten furthest in their character development/personal quests (SH, Gale, Lae'zel and Wyll) are the ones who contribute the best ideas :)

Unfortunately, Rose ain't disintegrating Orin! But Chapter 22 is now up, so you can see for yourself x

[cheerstotheelites-if]

'oh, let me make you something' for Zephyrine and an MC who likes to cook if ya don't mind!

Prompt list

I gotchu I gotchu 😎👌

~•~•~

Oh, honey pie, you're making me crazy 'Cause I ain't never liked sweets until you sugarcoated my teeth I know, I know, I know, I know there's no hope in the world for us But can you feel, can you feel, can you feel, can you feel My heart's about to combust?

– Sugar Rush - Addison Grace

~•~•~

The smell of food fills the air of the Home Economics lab, the sound of sizzling and frying reaching her ears. Zephyrine sits by an island counter, cheek resting on her propped up hand as she watches you move about and cook on the stove.

Home Economics has ended a few minutes ago, the lunch hour already starting. Zephyrine dropped by to come pick you up just as class ended, but instead finds you busy cleaning up your work station.

"I can wait," she told you as she plopped down on the nearest chair.

"Or I can make you something instead if you want," you half jokingly suggested, "we're in a kitchen after all, and I still have some leftover ingredients to make us a lunch."

"A private meal and a private chef?" Zephyrine placed a hand to her chest in mock surprise with an exaggerated gasp. "How could I ever say no to that?"

It's an understatement to say that Zephyrine's amazed by how quick you move and multitask. One moment you're chopping onions, and in a blink of an eye you're stir frying it with diced tomatoes on one pan, frying bacon on the second, and toasting slices of bread on a third. She has no idea where the diced tomatoes and bacon came from (must be those culinary skills), and it only increased her amazement. She's been more of a baker anyway, more used to the precision and the slower, and more lax process of it, than the pressure of cooking.

In another blink, a plate of food is being placed before her. It's not an extravagant lunch, simpler but still equally delicious looking. A fluffy omelette with the onion-tomato stir fry as filling, crispy bacon, and two slices of toast. You take a seat across her with your own plate.

"I know it isn't much," you sheepishly tell her, almost apologetic, "I would've made something better if I had more ingredients."

"Hey, it's okay," Zephyrine reassures with a matching smile, "you don't have to stress yourself about it."

"Are you sure? I can—" You're cut off by Zephyrine reaching over and giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

"I'm sure. This is already enough." She pulls her hand back, to instead fiddle with the ends of her hair. "And thanks... for doing this. You didn't have to."

It's your turn to smile. "Well, you always try your best to reassure and cheer me up, so take this as my thanks for doing that."

"Oh!" Zephyrine blinks at you in surprise, cheeks turning red as she lets out a small chuckle and a lopsided smile. "I swear, with the amount of surprises you pull, you're going to make my heart combust."

[runicsorceress]

Banette mail!

It's Jupetta! She's holding what looks like roughly a third of a loaf of bread, still warm from the oven. Instead of having been cut apart like a normal person would do, it was carefully torn apart and distributed like that. She seems vaguley displeased with the craftsmanship of the tearing.

As soon as the bread is received, Jupetta teleports back home.

There's a knock at the door! But Rune isn't surprised. "ive got it." she shouts, while getting up from bed. wouldnt want her dad to get to it first.

Rune opens the door while rubbing her eyes... They look kinda red. "hey jupe." she says casually before seeing the bread and laughing a little. "asked for a slice not.. how much is this?" Ain't even sliced, she thinks.

She says a simple "thanks" as the Banette telepots away.

[quiveringdeer]

@lemmetreatya Here's my tangent on Jean and our girl.

Jean x NailTech!Reader

He'd dote on her and treat her so well 😩 And I can't get the idea of Jean being a massage therapist out of my mind. So now I'm thinkin about her getting home from work after serving and doting on others all day. And like she loves what she does, don't get her wrong. She's got great clients and loves getting to know them, updates on their lives and stuff.

But still. Work is work. No matter how you slice it. And I dunno cause I'm not an extrovert--but can definitely turn it on at work but it gets tiring--so not sure if it would tire out a true extrovert but anywho I'm rambling!

Jean's in business for himself and rents a spot somewhere for his work, which means he gets to make his own hours. And no matter what timeline or au, I'll never not see him as a hopeless romantic. So he'd make sure he doesn't schedule appointments when you'll be getting home. He'll have dinner made and ready, even if it's something simple like spaghetti and store bought garlic bread. Glass of wine in hand when you walk through the door--if you're into wine.

After dinner y'all could sit on the couch and while you tell him about your day, he'd massage your hands for you. Then be sure to give your neck and shoulders a thorough work over too, cause you gotta be leaned forward with your neck bent most of the day. That's gotta be a killer with muscle tension.

After you both share talk about your day, I'd be putting on TV with some silly or trashy reality shows. Just finished binging the French version of Ultimatum on Netfli/x last night (the American one was trash 😒). Both of y'all making comments about how unreasonable some of them are being. Or that Lindsay deserves SOOO much better and needs to put herself first more cause he man ain't shit. 😤 Definitely makes you appreciate eachother more.

[bitbc-incorrect-quotes-archive]

Berry in the Big City Music Facts!

Some random trivia about the songs in BitBC that I learned about. continued under the cut.

1. There have been 28 episodes that feature the characters singing, but only 22 are musical episodes.

The 22 musical episodes are:

2 Strawberry Shortcake songs -No Ordinary Berry -Berry Perfect Kind of Day Part 1

3 duets between Strawberry and another berry -Lucky Berry (with Orange) -Bake-Off Part 2 (with Raspberry) -Meet Huckleberry Pie (Huckleberry Pie)

1 Orange Blossom song -Superberry

2 Lime Chiffon songs -Be Your Berry Best -Any Way You Slice It

6 group songs -Beat the Heat -Music In Our Hearts -Let The Good Times Roll -Crabapple Jam Part 2 -A Splash of Fun -Turn Things Around

4 holiday songs -Fright Fall -Berry Merry Melody -Scary-oke -The Magic is You

2 Aunt Praline songs -Berry Bounty Banquet Part 1 -Bad Day Blues

1 Purple Pieman song -Peculiar Purple Partner Part 1

1 Cherry Jam song -Find Your Voice

The 6 non-musical episodes that feature singing in any capacity are:

Berry in the Big City Part 1 (Strawberry Shortcake briefly sings "No Ordinary Berry" before being interrupted by Aunt Praline)

New Year's Wish (Raspberry Tart sings a variation of "No Ordinary Berry" before realizing Strawberry heard her)

Keylime Time (Huckleberry Pie sings part of an unknown song to some coffee beans before Strawberry interrupts him)

Huck's New Job (Bread Pudding and Huck briefly sing "Contrary Berry" at the end)

Best New Year's EVER (Orange Blossom sings part of "Contrary Berry")

Sweet and Sour (Sour Grapes sings part of an unknown song before being interrupted by Strawberry)

While Meet Huckleberry Pie and Music in Our Hearts also briefly feature "Lost Little Berry" sung by Huckleberry, these examples are not counted as Huck sings a full song in the same episodes.

2. Lost Little Berry, Contrary Berry, Raspberry's New Year's song, Huck's coffee bean song, and Sour's song are the only songs in BitBC to never be heard in full.

3. Of the 8 main characters, Lemon Meringue, Blueberry Muffin, Bread Pudding, and Sour Grapes are the only main characters who have not received a musical episode that focuses on them. So far, they have only sung in group songs.

4. Bread Pudding is the only main character who has NEVER been heard singing without another berry accompanying him. Berry Merry Melody, Huck's New Job, Beat The Heat, Let The Good Times Roll, Scary-Oke, Sweet Victory, A Splash of Fun, and Turn Things Around all have him sing as part of an ensemble or in a duet with someone else (usually Huckleberry)

5. This is a bar graph comparing each character and the number of episodes they've sung in (as of Turn Things Around).

As you can see, Strawberry has sung the most at 22 times, while Sour Grapes has the lowest at 7.

6. Huckleberry Pie is the only main character whose debut is also a musical episode.

7. Purple Pieman, Aunt Praline, and the Berry Fairies are the only non-main characters to receive music episodes, being villain, supporting, and minor characters respectively.

Aunt Praline has 2 full songs (Berry Bounty Banquet Part 1 and Bad Day Blues)

Purple Pieman technically has 2 songs, but his second is the intentionally bad rap he had in Hot, Fresh, and Trending, which was not a music episode

The Berry Fairies also technically have 2 songs, Find Your Voice and Contrary Berry (which is stated to be theirs by Orange Blossom in Best New Year's EVER), however, none of the Fairies have ever been heard singing the latter song.

8. Sherry Bobbleberry, despite being the Berry Fairies' (former) lead singer, is the only member of the band who did not sing at any point. Ironic, ain't it?

9. The episodes where each character first sings are:

Strawberry Shortcake: Berry in the Big City Part 1 (first song), No Ordinary Berry (first musical episode)

Orange Blossom: Fright Fall

Lemon Meringue: Fright Fall

Lime Chiffon: Fright Fall

Blueberry Muffin: Fright Fall

Raspberry Tart: Berry Merry Melody, New Year's Wish (solo voice)

Huckleberry Pie: Meet Huckleberry Pie

Bread Pudding: Berry Merry Melody

Sour Grapes: Berry Merry Melody, Beat The Heat (solo voice)

10. The only musical episode where only one berry sings is Peculiar Purple Partner Part 1, as Purple Pieman is the lone singer for the entire song. Every other song in Berry in the Big City is an ensemble, a duet, or a solo with backup/additional singers.

[meadowmines]

OC-Tober 31: free space :)

[In which Aoyagi gets his weekly visit from his dirty old uncle]

Aoyagi is shoving a batch of bread in the oven for the dinner shift when he hears the door ding. "Be right with ya," he calls over his shoulder.

"Aw, c'mon," a familiar voice calls back. "What's a guy gotta do to get some pussy around here?"

God. Aoyagi tries not to laugh. He really does. He doesn't try very hard. "You sure you wanna burn yer one allotted pussy joke per visit right in the door?" he yells back as he shuts the oven. "You know where yer seat is, ojisan."

Tuesday evening, after the lunch barista and cooks have gone home and before the dinner crew shows up. Just like clockwork. Aoyagi watches from the kitchen as the old man picks his way through the main room to his favorite comfy chair, careful as always not to plant his cane on any paws or tails. A few of the cats trot over to greet him as soon as he sinks into that chair. The fact that he keeps "accidentally" dropping things they're not supposed to eat probably figures into that. "Where's my favorite girl? Hey, Miyuki-chan! Pspspsps--"

Miyuki is facing away from the door and has not yet noticed her favorite customer, and so she goes on licking herself. "She can't hear ya," Aoyagi reminds him. Seems like they have this conversation every time. There are even signs on the wall--Miyuki's glamour shot captioned I'm Miyuki-chan! I'm not ignoring you, I'm deaf! Thank you for understanding! It never sticks. To be fair, though, Aoyagi has been Miyuki's guardian for three years now and he still catches himself going pspsps at her when he knows damn well she can't hear him. "You want the usual?"

"You know it," the old man says. "Hey. Where's that Siamese-lookin' one?"

"Luna? Uh..." Aoyagi starts lining up ingredients on the counter. Eggs, cheese, ham, sourdough bread. "Check under the tables n' stuff. She's been into feet lately."

"Heh. My kinda gal. Naw, the other one. The boy? Little fat one with the stubby tail?"

"Oh, Mochi! Yeah, he got adopted yesterday."

"No kiddin'? Good for him."

"His replacement oughta be around here somewhere..." Aoyagi sticks his head out of the kitchen and sees a big battle-scarred orange cat with big old tom jowls and a clipped ear and a bad case of resting grump face standing up with his paws on the old man's knee. "Yeah, the tough guy climbin' up on ya."

The old man reaches down to give the tough guy a scritch. The tough guy lets out a gravelly meow. If a cat could smoke a pack a day, that's what it'd sound like. "Thought he looked new. What's yer name, bud?"

"He ain't got one yet. We're callin' him 'Nyan-han' for now." Aoyagi goes back to work. "Hey! Yer gettin' decaf. Last time I gave ya the real shit the boss gave me an earful about yer blood pressure."

Aoyagi swears he can hear the old man roll his eyes as he folds a sheet of egg around a slice of cheese. "That was before the doc straightened my meds n' shit out. It'll be fine this time."

"Ojisan."

"The boys ain't let me have one minute of fun since '88." Aoyagi does not know exactly what happened in '88. He's heard bits of it, but the old man's always just sort of handwaved it off. He got hurt, from what Aoyagi gathers. Bad. Bad enough that he almost didn't make it, bad enough that he was never the same after. Aoyagi wonders, but can never quite bring himself to ask, exactly what he was like before. Then again, he probably doesn't need to. Sometimes the old man says something, or gets a look in his eye, or moves a certain way, and Aoyagi thinks maybe just for a second he can see the shadow of the hellraiser Homare Nishitani used to be. "And Yu-chan's the worst of 'em. Caffeinate me."

"The boys and the boss are just lookin' out for ya," Aoyagi says, firmly. "And so am I."

"Tch. Ya hearin' this shit, Nyan-han? Awright. C'mon up here." The old man pats his knee and Nyan-han hops up with another hoarse meow. His face is no less grumpy, but he's slow-blinking and making biscuits like his life depends on it. Probably purring his head off, too. "Heh. Grouchy li'l shit, ain't ya?"

"That's just how his face is." Aoyagi stacks the cheesy eggs onto buttered sourdough with a slice of ham and puts the whole thing back on the griddle to toast. "He looks mean as shit but he's a sweetheart."

"Heh." The old man goes on petting Nyan-han as Aoyagi loads up a tray with fresh fruit and a cup of kitty treats and a plate ready for the sandwich. He waits until the old man's full attention is on Nyan-han and quickly pours a cup of decaf. "Kinda reminds me of Majima-kun."

Aoyagi's eye twitches.

"You do too. More n' more every day."

Aoyagi flips the grilled sandwich onto the plate and cuts it in half, then carries the loaded tray out into the main room. He neatly sidesteps a massive tortie that tries to throw her entire body weight into Aoyagi's leg as he passes and sets the tray down on the old man's table. "I'm nothin' like him."

"Huh." Funny. Aoyagi would have expected him to have more to say about that. But he doesn't. Aoyagi just unloads the tray, and he just goes on petting Nyan-han until the tray is empty. And then he reaches into his jacket pocket, draws forth an obscenely thick wad of cash, and slaps it on the table. "Lock up."

"Haw!?"

"I'm buyin' ya out for the night. That's a thing with restaurants n' shit too, right?" The old man gestures towards the stack of money. Aoyagi guesstimates it would cover dinner, late night, and then some for his whole staff. "Give yer minions the night off. And then fix ya a plate n' sit down." He shrugs. "C'mon. I don't wanna eat alone."

"You're not eatin' alone, ojisan. Ya got ten cats out here with designs on yer ham."

"I want two-legged company that don't treat me like I'm gonna keel over n' die if I drink one cup of decent fuckin' coffee." He snorts out a humorless laugh. "I can't drink anymore. I can't smoke. I can't drive. I can't get it up half the time n' even when I can, I can't do a damn thing with it other than--"

"Awright! Awright! I'll do whatever ya want! Just don't finish that sentence!" He grabs a sign out from under the counter and hangs it in the front door: Closed for private event, will reopen at 11AM tomorrow. aPAWlogies for the inconveNYANce :3

"Attaboy," the old man chortles.

Aoyagi heats up a bacon cheddar scone while he calls his crew and tells them they've got the night off with pay. He cuts up his own little pile of fresh fruit and pours himself some coffee and once again makes his way through the gauntlet of friendly cats with a loaded tray. "I shouldn't be doin' this and you know it," he says as he sits down.

"Yeah, yeah." And right about that time, Miyuki finally turns around and sees her favorite customer. With a joyous earsplitting yell of the sort that only ever comes out of cats that can't hear themselves, she hops down from her perch and trots over to say hello. "Hey! There's my favorite girl. Oops." And he "accidentally" drops a sliver of ham on the floor in front of her.

"Dammit, ojisan." Aoyagi intercepts the ham and wads it up in a napkin before Miyuki can snarf it down.

"Aw, c'mon. Let her live."

"Last thing I need's my number one girl comin' down with the runs in a customer's lap tomorrow. Ya got a cup of kitty treats right there. Give her those."

"Awright, fine." Miyuki hops up into the old man's lap and snuggles up next to Nyan-han. Nyan-han leans over, licks her ear a few times, and goes to sleep. "Ya gave me decaf, ya little shit."

"How the fuck can you tell!?" Aoyagi splutters. "It tastes the same!"

"No it don't." The old man takes another sip and there's that gleam in his eye, the one that hints at the unholy terror he used to be. "Rest of me's goin' to shit but my tastebuds still work. Ya brew yer decaf stronger. Like ya think that's gonna make up for it."

"Tch. Nothin' gets past you, does it?"

"Eh. Not much does." The old man goes on eating his sandwich and feeding treats to the cats. "How long ya been with us now, Amano-kun? 'Bout three years?"

"Somethin' like that," Aoyagi says.

"Ya still that sore at him?"

"What's to be sore about?" Aoyagi takes a big bite of his scone in the hopes that it'll take long enough to chew that the old man will change the subject. He doesn't. "He just tried to kill me, is all. Nothin' to be sore about."

"Any particular reason ya asked Yu-chan to train ya with a blade?"

Shit, how does he... forget it. "Any particular reason ya won't let him look into why Majima called a hit on me?"

"Touché," the old man snorts. "Ya little shit. Like I said. More n' more every day. Get me a cup for the road, would ya? The good shit this time."

"Go to Matsubara on the way home n' leave me out of it."

"I'd drink garbage water straight outta the river before I drink Matsubara's shit. I like your coffee."

Aoyagi sighs. "Flattery will get ya everywhere, old man. Fine. I'll pour ya half a to-go cup but ya gotta tell the boss ya had to torture me for it." Which, given the turn their conversation took tonight, isn't that far from the truth.

"I'll tell him I snuck back n' poured my own while you were in the can."

"Deal."

The old man finishes up his dinner, gently deposits Miyuki and Nyan-han on the floor, and starts to haul himself out of his chair. Aoyagi offers him an arm. He waves it off. He always does. He's always determined to do as much as he can still do by himself, and Aoyagi can't really blame him. So he just pours half a to-go cup of regular coffee and hands it to him. "Torture," he says.

"Yeah, yeah. I ain't rattin' ya out. Hey, I bought ya out for the whole night. Get outta here. Go take a walk. Get you a hooker or a Nintendo or whatever you kids are into these days."

"Fuck's sake, ojisan." Aoyagi shakes his head. "Be careful headin' home."

"Yeah, yeah."

And with that, he's gone and Aoyagi is left alone with ten cats and a lot of thoughts he didn't want tonight.