#her apologies are never her actually recognizing that she hurt me and that was wrong

[nope-body]

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[star-girl69]

So It Goes…

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!AphroditeCabin!Reader

—-

sypnosis: the one day chiron decides to switch up the capture the flag teams, and everyone knows you’re clarisse’s weakness, In A Good Way sequel!!

i changed my theme it’s me tho promise

a/n: protective clarisse the love of my life i love you i do i think we should get married actually anyways this one is sooooooo i got to explore a more casual side of clar’s and reader’s relationship in this (for like a min) i hope you all enjoy!!

So It Goes… - Taylor Swift

warnings: soft clarisse my love, protective clarisse we KNOW how i feel abt her…., also slightly possessive clarisse i think i love you too, again clarisse gets a bit too into capture the flag, clarisse picks reader up which i KNOW is not inclusive (im literally plus-sized idk what the hell am i doing) but it was so good i couldn’t resist, she has like super strength probs so i’ll just believe (she literally could not pick me up i need to stop being delusional), swearing, violence, kissing, a bit suggestive but nothing crazy, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

Clarisse’s bed is one of your favorite places. You’ve spent so many nights here, wrapped up in her arms, feeling like no one could touch you. And you’ve spent secret days with her hands on your waist, yours in her hair, lips pressed together so tight it’s like you were each other’s oxygen.

You love Clarisse’s bed. And you know Clarisse loves her bed too, seeing as it’s a huge source of pride for her- it’s the best bunk in the cabin, and she gets a major kick over the fact that you sleep here just as much as you sleep in your own cabin.

You’re sitting down, watching Clarisse pace back and forth, her spear in her hand.

“Clarisse,” you say. She brought you here just fo freak out. Now she won’t sit down and let you help her, and she wont just freaking listen. “Clarisse, baby, what’s wrong? Can you at least put your spear down so you don’t accidentally kill somebody? If you kill me with that I’m gonna come back and kill you.”

She stops for a moment and leans her spear up against the wall. You let out a sigh.

“Now just sit down-”

She resumes her pacing.

As much as you love just being in Clarisse’s presence, as much as you know you’re her rock, the only thing that keeps her tethered in the storm she constantly fights through, you need her to let you help her.

“Clarisse!” you stand up, placing your hands on her shoulders. “You’re freaking me out, okay? What happened? I-I’m sure we can fix it, I mean…” you rub your hands up and down your arms, which you know she likes, her muscles are one of her biggest sources of pride.

She sits down, letting you stand in between her legs, her hands moving to hold your hips.

“Sorry,” she mumbles. She’s not very good at handling her emotions, but she’s getting better, and at least she’s able to recognize and apologize when her emotions are hurting other people. Well, you, at least. She breathes out. “Chiron decided to switch the teams.”

And now she had to work with the Athena cabin? The Gods know after the Ares and Athena cabins have captained opposing teams for years, Chiron pretends there’s not, but everyone knows there’s a deep rivalry. More than just friendly competition.

“The Demeter cabin will be on the red team.”

“Okay,” you say, squeezing her shoulders. You aren’t really close with anyone from the Demeter cabin, it doesn’t really bother you much.

“And… the Aphrodite cabin will be on the blue team.”

“Oh.”

You’ve never not been on Clarisse’s team for capture the flag. Not only does the entire red team’s tactic rest on you using your charmspeak to protect the flag, but what the hell are you supposed to do fighting against Clarisse?

She wraps her arms around your waist, flopping back onto her bed and bringing you down on top of her.

“I know it’s all Annabeth and Luke behind this. I’m sure that little smartass has made up some sick plan to make me go insane.”

You scoff, planting your hands behind her head on the bed. “You’re the one who can actually fight. I’m, like, so bad it’s not even funny, Clar.”

“You beat me all the time,” she frowns.

And it’s true, you spar with her at least 3 or 4 times a week, and you win most of the those times. But Clarisse moves slower, she doesn’t hit as hard, she anticipates your next move and doesn’t block it so you can land a hit.

“We both know you let me win.”

“I like seeing you smile,” she says, her own matching smile on her face.

“Okay, you big romantic.” You let your hands slip, laying your head against her chest and your arms flat around her head. “It’s not that big of a deal, Clar. I’m sure it’ll be fine, then Chiron’ll probably switch them back.”

“Annabeth convinced him to do it. She has some sort of plan, Y/N, she does.”

“You’ve mentioned,” you hum. “Stop stressing. Nothing we can do about it.”

“Fine,” she hisses.

She wraps her arms around your waist and throws you to the side so you yelp, now she’s climbing on top of you, laying her head on your chest.

“It’s going to be the worst game of capture the flag in history, you know. I hope you’re happy, I don’t even know what I’m gonna do without you. I mean, I guess I could move that group in the west side to just south of the flag, so that’ll be a bit more for them to get through. Oh, I’ll stick that one good archer on the ground- no, no that wouldn’t work, I need him in the trees. But I’ll move his position-”

—-

You walk to the woods together. When it’s time to split up, Clarisse grabs you by your armor and points her finger into your chest.

“Clar, what the hell are you doing-”

“Don’t do anything I would do.”

“Okay, Clarisse,” you smile, blinking once to avoid rolling your eyes at her ridiculousness.

She smirks, her arm squeezing your waist. She pecks you on the lips before pulling away completely.

“Done making out?” Jackie asks, her and Tyla suddenly appearing next to you.

“It was one kiss, Jacks. Are you sure we have the same Mom?”

“No, honestly.”

You fall into step with the two of them, laughing as you make your way through the woods and to the edge of the river.

Chiron makes his usual speech, the conch sounds, and everyone starts moving around.

Annabeth finds the three of you soon after. Tyla and Jackie fall away, following your other siblings. Annabeth always has this calculating look on her face, like she knows something you don’t, a true child of Athena. You have to admit, she really is one of the smartest people you know.

“Annabeth,” you smile. “I guess you want me by the flag?”

“No, I debated that, but I decided against it.”

She smirks and looks at you before spinning around, pointing to Luke and his team members who are always in charge of getting the flag.

“You’ll be with Luke.”

You frown. “You do realize I have absolutely no skill in battle, right, Annabeth?”

“Yeah, but skill doesn’t matter when you have power. Power over someone.”

“Oh, okay. Who do you want me to charmspeak-”

“Charmspeak whoever you come across, but that’s not what I’m talking about. You have power over Clarisse. I know she’s defending the flag today, right?”

She looks at you sharply.

You smile. “Oh, I really don’t know. But if you say so, sure.”

She starts walking, you follow her.

“Clarisse doesn’t talk strategy to you? I mean, I talk Luke’s ear off.”

“Oh, no, she does, I just don’t really retain any of it.”

She huffs a small sound of laughter.

“I know she’ll be there,” she affirms.

“If you say so!” you say, all sing song, Luke smiling as he meets your eyes.

“Y/N! How’s it feel to finally be on the winning team?”

“I love being on the red team, thanks for asking.”

“Ha. You’re so funny, are you sure you’re not a child of Apollo?”

“Too beautiful,” you glide your hands down your face. “I get it from my godly mother.”

“Luke, do you know what you’re doing?” Annabeth asks.

“Yes ma’am.”

She smiles and walks away, talking to more people while you can faintly hear Clarisse shouting at people. With the change in tactic, you know she’s been slightly stressed, but she won’t allow herself to feel anything other than confidence, outwardly.

She still walks tall. She still grips her spear in her hand a little to tight. She’s a bit too greedy with the things that are hers, she grabs on a bit too tight, but you know it’s just because she’s scared. You like it.

If this were a regular game, you would probably be walking next to Clarisse right now, or kissing her goodbye while you follow Matty and everyone else to go protect the flag.

When you and Clarisse first started dating, she was slow to be so affectionate, but the more of her walls you started breaking down the more you found a complicated teenage girl who felt unloved, and had a lot of love to give too.

The more confident she became in your private relationship, the more she wanted everyone to know. It was her fatal flaw, pride, hubris. She wanted everyone to know she was yours and your were hers. She wanted everyone to be jealous.

“I’m so glad we don’t have to wear those horrible earplugs today. They always make me worried. Someone could be shouting a few feet away and none of us would hear.”

“Stop gloating, Luke.”

“I’m just expressing my gratitude, Y/N, is that not allowed?”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“Oh, oh, I know. You’re sad, aren’t you?”

“Sad?” you snort.

“Yeah, sad. Sad you aren’t with Clarisse. You’re devastated, destroyed, wrecked.”

You put your hand on your sword. “Who are you… and what have you done with Luke Castellan? Luke doesn’t know that many words…”

He hits your shoulder. “Shut up, Y/N.”

—-

You’re walking through the woods.

Not sneaking around in stealth, not running, but walking.

You’ve come across a few of your former team members, but one of the blue team just tackles them and you tell them to turn around and count to 5,000.

For some reason, it’s worse than sitting by the rock, waiting for someone to make a play for the flag. At least at the rock you’re surrounded by all these people you know. You and Matty are usually talking, Marjorie sometimes joins, and you all have fun bullying Corey for that one time he didn’t see the blue team coming.

Luke’s voice drops to a whisper.

“Here’s your job. You can either, one, go make out with Clarisse in a corner, which shouldn’t be too hard-”

“Luke,” you hit his shoulder. He hisses.

“I’m joking, joking. Just keep her distracted, fight her, maybe pull your shirt down a bit? Oh, or I can just cut it so it’s a bit more revealing-”

“Luke, shut up or else I will make you.”

“It’s not a bad idea-”

“Luke!”

“Sh, sh,” he whispers. “Don’t be so loud, we’re almost to the flag. We’re going for stealth, okay?”

“Oh, really, I didn’t notice,” you deadpan. He looks around.

“Blue team, stealth mode, alright?”

Everyone nods. You roll your eyes. You miss the red team.

—-

After Luke gives you the ok, meaning the blue team has successfully surrounded the red team and the clearing, you take a step forward.

Annabeth was right. Clarisse is there.

It’s fitting. If you can’t be there, she would.

You look up at Corey, but he hasn’t noticed any of you yet. You frown, thinking about how he’s probably going to get beat up.

“Clarisse!” you shout. You watch everyone jump into defensive positions. She can’t see you yet, but she stares in the direction of your voice, her eyes squinting, smiling softly.

“Luke?” she shouts. “That you?”

You frown.

“What the hell?” you say, stepping forward. “You don’t recognize my voice? I thought that was really smart. Like, a cool way to reveal myself, I don’t know.”

You come into the clearing, sword by your side.

Clarisse’s smile drops.

“I-I- no, baby, I just wasn’t expecting Annabeth to send you here-”

“Do I really sound like Luke?”

“No,” she says, immediately. “You sound like an angel.

Matty laughs. Clarisse stabs his foot with the end of her spear. She smiles at you.

“Is Luke here though?” Marjorie asks, subtly trying to look through the trees.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, you do,” Matty snorts.

“You’re going to tell me though right, baby?” Clar smiles, stepping closer until she’s right in front of you.

“Obviously not, you didn’t recognize me. I’m, like, really hurt by that Clarisse-”

“Gods, Clarisse,” Matty shouts at the sky, laughing. You didn’t recognize her, and now we’re all fucked!”

“Shut the fuck up, Matty,” she says over her shoulder. She looks at you, smiling again, her hand reaching out to touch your face. “I’ll let you do that thing you’ve always wanted to do.”

You smile, your voice dropping to a whisper. “You’ll let me give you a makeover? Really?”

“Yes.” Her teeth grit, but she keeps smiling, her thumb rubbing your cheek.

“Hm, I don’t know,” you mutter, your eyes fixing on her spear when you suddenly reach forward, grabbing it from her hands and turning to run away.

The blue team emerges from the woods with war cries, swords start clashing, and it all happens so fast.

The plan was for you to grab her spear, make her chase you around the woods, and hopefully the blue team would be able to overpower the red team without her.

Instead, Clarisse kicks out her foot, tripping you. Then, she catches you and the spear in what you swear has to be a milisecond.

“Clarisse!” you shout, genuinely offended. She beat you so easily. It wasn’t even a fight. You didn’t even get the chance to run.

“Sorry, baby, it’s capture the flag!”

You about to start kicking like a wild animal when she suddenly lets you go. Luke is there, fighting her while you pick your sword up from the ground that fell in the commotion.

One of your team members dropped their helmet and you pick that up too.

You’re not that bad of a fighter, Clarisse just knows everything about you, you tell yourself. But your pride is slightly wounded and you want to prove to her, yourself, and everyone that you’re not just a weak Aphrodite kid or some poor thing that hangs off Clar’s arm.

You can hold your own.

You stick the helmet on and step into the fight. Someone groans and a sword comes wishing through the air, but you block it.

They swing again.

You block it.

You picked up things from Clarisse, and, besides, you weren’t just sparring for fun. She actually teaches you, better than the actual sword practice teacher if your biased opinion is to be trusted.

But you probably just feel that way because she rewards you with kisses.

It seems like you’re actually winning for a second, about to disarm him, when he seems to get fed up with fighting you and suddenly arcs hard over your head, making you lose your footing and letting him kick you.

You land on your back, groaning and trying to catch your breath.

“That was such a bitchy move,” you mumble. He leans over you, about to kick the sword out of your hand-

“I’m gonna fucking kill you, Samuel.”

She holds her spear right under his throat, and he finally seems to look at your face instead of just your blue helmet.

“Shit. Sorry. Sorry, Clarisse, I’m sorry.”

She looks like she’s about to kill him but she just pushes him away.

“I was winning,” you groan. “But then he kicked me.”

She kicks him as he walks away.

You expect her to tug you up and start lecturing you but instead she leans down and throws you over her shoulder.

“Wha- Clarisse!”

“That’s enough for you today,” she says, patting the back of your thigh.

“Clarisse, I swear to Hades, let me down!”

“One second,” she mumbles.

When she places you down on the ground again, you’re leaning against a tree. She grabs your hand, frowning at something.

It’s the smallest cut, barely there, but Clarisse of course acts like it’s the end of the world.

“Does it hurt?”

Your eyes fix on Luke behind her, stalking slowly towards her turned back.

“No, Clar, it’s fine. Now I-”

“I think you should go the nurse.”

Your mouth drops open. “Clarisse, it’s a paper cut!”

“And if it gets infected? Go away, Luke, I can hear you.”

He locks eyes with you but ultimately turns around with a very scared and annoyed look on his face.

“Now do you see why I was all messed up? I knew this was going to happen. You were gonna get hurt, and it was going to be my fault.”

You roll your eyes. “It’s not your fault, Clarisse-”

“But isn’t it? You would have been at the flag if Annabeth hadn’t known how much you mean to me. Instead, you were here. Instead, you were rushing off to go fight someone-”

“I’m not a damsel in distress, Clar!”

She presses her lips together.

“I can fight too. Not as good as you, but I can. I-I don’t want to be weak, I don’t want to rely on you for everything, it’s- it’s embarrassing.”

You didn’t even know you were feeling this way until you felt it. But it’s always been there, you guess. You always watch Clarisse spar and know she could never do anything like that with you. And you thought you were fine with it, and you are fine with having things that you like and things that she likes- but you don’t want to be so useless anymore.

She’s silent for a second.

“I- I get that. I do. But I just don’t know how to tell you I… I love you without showing it. I’m not good at saying it, you know that.”

“Clarisse,” you frown.

She puts her hands on your face.

“You are… the most precious thing in the world to me, Y/N. I really hope you know that.”

You wrap your arms around her neck, you can feel her heart thump from the fight.

“I know that, Clarisse. Of course I know that. You show me every day, I just- I just want to feel like my own person.”

She grips you tighter. “If it’ll make you happy, I’ll teach you to fight. But you have to do it how I say, and you can’t go off and do this-”

You pull back so you can make sure this is real.

“Really?” you smile.

“You have to listen to me, Y/N, and do it slowly, okay-”

“Yes, yes, yes, okay, yes,” you breathe, planting your hands on your face before kissing her. It’s slow, it’s sweet, it’s exactly what you think of when you think of her. You think of the side that’s yours, the side that only you can see.

You break it, leaning down to pick up her spear.

The red team is losing the fight behind you.

“Ok, go win capture the flag. And I’ll stay here. My hand does kinda hurt,” you mumble.

She smiles and kisses your cheek. “Not just a paper cut, huh?”

“Can I still give you a makeover?” you ask as she turns away.

“Maybe!”

—-

y/n: what why did you not recognize me ☹️☹️

clarisse, genuinely terrified: i have no idea what the hell you are talking about please please please don’t take away kissing privileges please please please

—-

taglist:

@lvrue @t-wylia @laughingcheese037 @kroumi @urdeadpoet @colezb @rey26 @harmzilla @elliewilliamsbae @amberfreemansburntface @kyuupidwrites @neverwaakeme-up @shark1008

(pls ignore it’s for the acc aesthetics thank you!!)

[bixels]

If it's not too much trouble would you mind sharing more on your thoughts about AJ? Esp the line she shouted at Rarity and her "struggle with sexual identity" I'm kind of new so I would like to hear more! Does Rarity also struggle with sexual identity and fearing AJ would leave? I love the family oriented person A and the business inclined and impressed by shiny new things person B trope

Ok, this is gonna get into head canons and personal opinions.

The writing in Rollercoaster of Friendship (and EQG as a whole) is much simpler and more stripped down in comparison to FiM (most likely to appeal to a younger audience; don't want to seem like I'm dissing the writers), but that one confrontation made me sit up in my seat because it carries the entire special.

More under the cut cuz I don't want MLP analyses clogging up my blog.

For one, we've seen AJ get frustrated and angry about the same exact conflict over a girl in FiM (Rara), establishing a pattern. And even though she's right (her friend really is being manipulated), I read both cases as her acting out in jealousy too. Here's this girl who she's felt a unique attachment to being "taken away" and changed by someone new. This is most apparent in RoF; the moment Vignette introduces herself, kisses Rarity on both cheeks, and establishes herself as Rarity's "new best friend," AJ immediately reacts with shock, betrayal, and boldfaced jealousy (made even worse when Rarity forgets her during introductions). Although AJ acts independent, she's actually very emotionally dependent on certain people in her life.

If we come into this with the assumption that AJ has romantic feelings for Rarity –– which is a normal assumption given the director/writer confirmed the special was written as a romantic drama between the two –– AJ's line is all the more heartbreaking. If I may slip into fictional speculation: your crush is no longer listening or paying attention to you, even though you know something is wrong and that she's getting hurt. Your frustration at her lack of awareness is really your anger at her lack of care –– she doesn't care about you anymore. So in a fit of rage, in your big, dramatic confrontation, just to make her look at you, react at you, feel how she's been making you feel all day –– unwanted and unspecial –– you hurt her back. AJ yells, "You're not special!" and Rarity cries.

And what really gets me is that AJ lies. In this moment, she lies that Rarity's not special when (again, assumption of romance) she's the most special person in the world to her. So special that she's placed all her feelings of self-assurance and security on their relationship. So special that the moment their relationship is shaken and she doesn't know to recover it –– recover herself –– she lashes out, acts against her character, and says something dishonest just to hurt the girl she loves.

(Honestly, rewatching this special, AJ is so insecure and attention-needy. The way she pouts and slouches and lags behind the group and says, "Never mind. It's nothing," when asked what's wrong is textbook "please pay attention to me and ask me what's wrong because i need a reason to be honest about feelings i know i should be ashamed of" behavior.)

I think AJ's insecurities (which could be tied to her lack of experience with romantic relationships) reveal how she has a tendency to misattribute and redirect anger onto the person she cares most about (see Simple Ways as well, where she's caught on the opposite end of a jealousy spat). This could easily become a very toxic trait, but AJ grows past it. Near the end of RoF, the two come together and apologize. AJ recognizes her entitlement and confesses her insecurities about their relationship. She felt hurt and attacked when her status as Rarity's best friend/girlfriend was threatened because it's a role she uses to self-identify –– if Rarity isn't hers, she loses part of her identity. And she admits that she thought her motivation was to protect Rarity, but really she was just being selfish and protecting herself. Rarity was busy and stressed and needed someone to lean on just as much AJ needed her. She isn't AJ's emotional support girlfriend, and it wasn't right to expect her to be one.

(Which is why Rarijack is peak because throughout both series, they repeatedly show just how important honesty, open communication, and trust is in maintaining, supporting, and growing a romantic relationship.)

[dollypopup]

I think it's interesting to look at the 'Mr. Bridgerton' scene as a backdrop for the eventual mirror scene. Firstly, in the fact that I think we've kind of misinterpreted it.

So many people are of the mind that scene's purpose to 'drag' Colin, but really, that scene has 3 primary functions. The first is to inform Colin that Penelope is aware of what he said of her, thus opening the door to clearing the air between them and providing an avenue for which Colin can apologize. The second is to establish the ground that they are currently on: Penelope has given up on the dream of Colin Bridgerton, in particular the perfect prince that can do no wrong, and has made it clear to him. It also creates distance between them that they will bridge.

But the third, and to me the most wrapped up in the mirror and the inner workings of their relationship is that it reveals how Penelope feels about *herself*. It's not necessarily an echo of what the ton considers her as, after all, we have a lot of evidence indicating that, for all intents and purpose, people aren't *unkind* about her, but rather that they ignore her. Audience members recognize this as Penelope's own shyness being the cause, she is often sitting off on the sidelines or not really talking to much of anyone, in the books she's referred to as the 'one who doesn't speak', and her LW business takes her away from being a character in the action of the ton to a bystander, kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts that perpetuates itself. Pen felt unseen so she became LW to have some power, but then LW herself must remain unseen and Penelope continues to be by design of her own making.

No, I think what it really reveals is that Penelope has incredibly low personal self esteem. We as a fandom has lauded that scene as her dragging Colin, saying that he's cruel and calling him Mr. Bridgerton is absolutely meant to create distance between them, but I don't think she's dragging him.

Because the person she is *actually* dragging here. . .is herself. And it is a general theme in her life. In Whistledown. Aloud. Even with Marina, when she complimented her, she assumes that she's lying. When Edwina says she's wearing a pretty dress, Penelope puts herself down and doesn't believe her, even when the compliment is genuine. In truth, Portia is not seen as being particularly unkind to Penelope. At least, speaking as someone who's mum was *awful* about my size and weight and outfits, Portia is. . .overall rather mild. She's not KIND and loving, not by a long shot, but she's also not targeting Penelope only. She's plenty mean and critical to Prudence, too, even to the point where she foists her off to her own cousin as a pawn piece. Penelope has low self esteem because of a lot of reasons, she's bullied by Cressida (I think a lot of girls are, she was pretty mean even to Daphne in S1) and her family isn't very tender to her, and she's not being pursued at every turn, but part of it is also her own perpetuation.

Listen to what she says "Of course you would never court me" "I embarrass you" "I am the laughingstock of the the ton". She sees *herself* as an embarrassment. She puts *herself* down. Arguably, more so than the ton does. She's meaner to herself than anyone else is, aside from Cressida. And honestly? Looking at Colin's face there. . .he is HURT that she considers herself this way. That she's projecting that onto him. Yes, he's hurt that he hurt her, of course he is, he never wants to hurt her. And yes, he's ashamed that he said he wouldn't court her the way he did and that in doing so, he validated her fears that she is unloved and unwanted, but also because. . .she already feels that way about herself. She's felt that way for years. And it's painful to care about someone, to see them as wonderful, and realize. . .they don't feel the same about themselves at all. I don't think Colin is out here feeling so wounded over the fact that she called him cruel and won't refer to him by first name anymore, but that he's most hurt by what she says about herself.

Because he *doesn't* see her the way she accuses. She says she never expected him of all people to be so cruel, but he feels the same way. He never expected her to be so cruel to *herself*. He wants to go somewhere private, not because she is an embarrassment, but because he wants to have a private conversation with her. Maybe assure her. Maybe explain himself. Maybe hash it out. But god Luke Newton's acting. . .he is *aching* for her. And it feels like he's going to do those lessons not in atonement for what he said (thank god) but to genuinely help his friend who thinks badly of herself. To lift her up. It's not about him at all, not about earning forgiveness, but about elevating Penelope. And that's. . .fuck, I just find that's just so heart stoppingly beautiful.

You can see, in that scene, how much he cares about her. How deeply and genuinely he adores her as a person. And just how painful it is for him to know he has validated, whether on purpose or otherwise, how poorly she feels about herself. How low her self-confidence really is. She is giving him a glimpse into the cracks of her heart, and when he sees them, he wants to reach out with both hands and make it feel better. Make her feel better.

After she says 'even when I change my entire wardrobe', he looks so fucking crushed. So 'don't say that'. So 'you really believe that?'. So 'God, I hate that you think that way'.

Because regardless of it all, he does love her. It's not romantic yet. It's not sexual yet. But he genuinely, truly, from the bottom of his heart, thinks she's wonderful. That was evident even in the 'purpose' scene. Every time Penelope opens up and reveals a facet of herself, he likes it. He likes her barbs and her dreams, he likes talking to her. He likes her. And he feels awful that he hurt her. And he feels awful that she's hurting herself. He loves her. He wants her to love herself.

And that's where the mirror scene comes in. Because the mirror scene isn't about sex, not really. Not entirely, at least. The mirror scene is about *intimacy*. The mirror scene is about being seen. Not just her seeing him, or him seeing her, but for Penelope to see *herself*. In a way, through his eyes. Because hers are biased rather negatively toward herself, which is evidenced in the 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene, and in so many little moments we've already gotten where she's literally looking down on herself, feeling down. She doesn't necessarily *like* what's in the mirror, but he does. Because he likes *her*. And he wants to show her that he does. Show her that he finds her beautiful and have her recognize that in herself.

The 'Goodnight Mr. Bridgerton' scene is about Penelope revealing how she sees herself. The mirror scene is about Colin showing her how *he* sees her. The Goodnight scene is about Penelope thinking she means nothing to him, that he thinks of her the way she thinks of herself, that this is how everyone thinks of her, and the mirror scene is a direct response to that: No, he doesn't. No, he doesn't think she's embarrassing. No, he doesn't think she's a laughingstock. No, he doesn't think she's unappealing. And he doesn't think she should, either.

And he's going to show her that. Not just tell her, but show her. The mirror scene is so often a focus on Penelope, so much of Polin is in Penelope's focus, but approaching it from Colin's perspective and his motivations is so fulfilling, too. It's a glimpse into them in conversation, and a demonstrate of how Colin loves her. How Colin loves in general, openly and earnestly and altruistically. How he encourages her to be braver and more confident in herself, bolstering her because he just likes her *that much*. How he finds the most fulfillment and satisfaction in caring aloud. The mirror scene is a demonstration of his heart in reflection.

When Luke Newton said the first word that came to mind with the word 'Mirror' was 'Exposed', he doesn't just mean physically. He means emotionally, too.

God this couple is so fucking good.

[phantoms-lair]

BnHAxFFXIV

When Katsuki got home to see his Mom sobbing on the phone he feared the worst.

He couldn't help but remember seeing her the same way, the day she got the news that Inko and Izuku had been attacked by a villain and no one could find them. Her later reactions had been anger. Anger when the police gave up, anger when Midoriya Hisashi didn't even show up for their funeral. Anger when she found out about everything he'd done.

But the reaction that stuck in his brain first was the raw grief, too strong for anger to get any foothold in. His mother sobbing and screaming and unable to even stand without his father supporting her. And seeing her crying on the couch brought him that to that moment.

He looked around, his Dad wasn't anywhere to be found. Had something happened to him? Was he in an accident? Was he going to make it?

His mother must have seen his face because she laughed. "They're happy tears, brat."

Bakugou let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "You scared the life out of me, old hag!" he barked.

She laughed again. "They found them, Katsuki. They're home!"

"Who's home?" he asked, still a little harshly as a result of the scare.

"Inko and Izu-kun! They're home!" And Katsuki felt the ground fall out beneath his feet.

~

When the news broke, Katsuki hadn't had much reaction at first. He didn't care that much about Deku, but he was worried about Auntie. And the longer it took, the more hope was lost, and he started to feel the fear that Auntie was...gone.

And then he heard the comment in the hall of school "Dad says it's good the Midoriya woman is dead, so she can't create anymore quirkless kids." And he'd lost it.

His parents had been called into the principal's office for his attacking the kid with his quirk. He told them what he said and his parents were immediately on his side. It got bitter and his Mom seemed on the brink of repeating his attack on the kid's father when the principal decided it was enough and announced that Katsuki could find a different school. And that was fine with his parents. What the Principal failed to recognize was Katsuki didn't just get his temper from his parents, but his intelligence. The Bakugou's had influence, money, and an indomitable will for vengeance. His Mom had pumped him for every detail about how Izuku was treated at Aldera Elementary, and that revealed his own actions toward Izuku. The Deku name, the bullying, all of it.

He hadn't realized at the time what he was saying was wrong. He knew his Mom was angry, but assumed it was at the school. He didn't realize it was at him at first. Not until he accidently heard her cry again, and telling Dad the only mercy in the whole thing was that Auntie had died before she found out Katsuki was one of the people who made her life miserable.

And Katsuki was confused because he'd never done anything to Auntie, just Deku. It took longer than he'd admit for him to figure out he hadn't been acting like a hero. He'd been becoming a villain. Izuku's villain. He was a bully and a bigoted asshole. And he'd never be able to make it up to the person that mattered most. Apologies to a shrine or grave meant nothing, in the long run.

He thought to give up his dream of being a hero, but in the end decided the best way to honor Izuku was to be a hero. Not the Number 1 slot he'd aimed for before, but a hero who would actually help people. He stood where Izuku once had, between those who would hurt others and their victims. And hopefully, it would be enough.

But now...now Izuku was back. And Katsuki could apologize for real. He was as excited as he was terrified. He'd always wanted to but...there was no guarantee Izuku would forgive him. He had no reason to, after all.

But either way the first thing out of his mouth was going to be an apology. He had a shit ton to apologize for and he was going to do it, even if Izuku and Auntie hated him for forever. As they arrived at the hospital and made their way to the Midoriya's room, he rehearsed what he was going to say in his mind. Every variance to every word. This was going to be the best apology ever!

His mother knocked and he felt a lump on his throat as a voice he neve thought he'd ever hear again said 'Come in!'. His Dad opened the door, he stepped inside and met his former victim's eyes.

"Izuku I-Why the fuck are you a cat?!"

Katsuki clamped his hand over his mouth, but at least Izuku was laughing.

"Do you like it better?" Izuku asked.

Katsuki narrowed his eyes. "Do you?"

Hesitantly Izuku nodded.

"Then to Hell with what I think. It's your body. If you're happier than it's better."

Izuku's eyes widened. "Thanks Kaachan."

Kaachan. He never thought he'd hear that name again. "Just the truth Izkun."

How they hell had he forgotten how much the nerd could cry??? They were going to flood the hospital room at that rate.

[deliriumbubbles]

After all the discourse about who was "more" wrong, It's exciting to see Apology Tour put the foot down and remind us that this is Blitzo's story. It's about how he changes and grows. It's not about just letting it go because we know he hates himself. You actually have to take steps toward improvement, and that's really fucking hard to do.

Are there psychiatrists in Hell? Cognative Behavioral Therapy?

So first off, anyone who was dying for Blitzo to be the one sending tons of text messages and coming back trying to talk to Stolas, congrats because he's definitely doing that. And annoying the crap out of Stolas and just hurting him more every time he talks to him because he keeps trying to make them revert their relationship BACK to "I'm just here as part of a transactional fucking." The big problem between them, that he can't believe that Stolas would like him even though Stolas has told him multiple times by now, remains because it's not something he can just hear once and get over.

Moreover, this is his story, so he's just going to say more hurtful things, but Stolas at least, this time, manages to use his own words (likely bc he's not triggered at that point and has some defenses up), and is able to tell Blitzo that his words are hurtful. Instead of magicking him out. Because Blitzo would just pop back over the wall.

So we get a brief, humorous montage of Blitzo going around and apologizing to everyone and not meaning it and he ends up at the Fuck Blitzo party and by degrees, and after Stolas singing a song that suggests that he still kind of blames himself for being foolish and thinking Blitzo cared, it does start to sink in and they talk a bit.

Interesting that this is the first time Blitzo has SEEN Stolas knocking it back because we the audience know he does this kinda regularly. Along with his own damn meds. Geez, these guys.

I also like that they didn't have to villainize Verosika in their conversation. She got hurt because it seems like their relationship was going pretty well until she let an ilu slip and that just sets Blitzo off because he can never believe that. It's like being compliment shy to a million degrees. And so he turned on her, he hurt her, on purpose, and she's angry because of what he did but also because he acts like it's her fault.

IS this party a monument to pettiness? Oh fuck yeah, it is. Maybe people should just learn to let go. I dont' think that's her entire career, but now whenever they're near each other, they both snipe at each other because she was hurt and doesn't feel like forgiving him when he's not sorry. But it was a good conversation between them. Blitzo hit another milestone, admitting out loud that he doesn't want to have to be like this forever. He does it deliberately, and it doesn't excuse it, but he's seeking change. He had to get here before moving forward.

So. Now he's had "a fucking minute" to process what Stolas said, has said, keeps on saying. He's heard that Stolas craves someone to love and want him. It's out there that Blitzo stopped Striker the first time. Unspoken things are moving forward.

I heard people fussing about this being their make up episode, but given the next ep (which probably will be in October), Blitzo needs to be at a low before he starts turning things around. It's his show and more than anything, the arc with Stolas is highlighting how he can't accept good things happening to him.

Stolas still has things he needs to work on as well. Highlighted in this episode is getting a more realistic sense of what romance is kind of like because he's basically a babygay rn. He doesn't have to have another full on relationship to realize that other people could want him. It could happen, but it's not necessary. He just has to recognize that he's not unlovable. That's not the problem with Blitzo. And for him to heal from his father and Stella he does need a little more experience.

Headcanon for me: Stolas and Verosika are gonna be besties after this until I'm proven otherwise.

[ezziefae]

Thoughts on Chap. 3 of The Prisoner's Throne (SPOILERS)

hello readers, forgive me for the typos, there are so many things about this chapter that had me screaming. Enjoy my thoughts!!!

“I want—” he begins.

“No,” she tells him. “By the power of Grimsen’s bridle, get on your knees and be silent.”

Wren has to be one of the scariest characters ever written by holly black. 

Her mouth curves into a smile, but it isn’t a nice one. “By Grimsen, I command you to do exactly as I say from here forward. You will stay on your knees until I say otherwise.”

Oak should have left when he had the chance.

Nahhh! I knew since TSH that we were gonna see Wren use the bridle on Oak, but now that i'm READING THIS it's still INSANE that she's willingly using it to CONTROLL him fully, it makes me think of Jude and Cardan, and how Jude kind of sorta had control of Cardan, but only by Pledge. Jude also had a power to command Cardan whatever she wished him to do, but she never ordered him to do something like THIS. Wren seems to have no mercy on Oak. She could legit make him kill or hurt anyone, she could make him jump off a bridge or say anything. Kind of also reminds me of when Locke ordered the ghost to betray Jude and the court of shadows, and how the Ghost had no control over his actions, and how in TQON he asked Jude to kill him because he'd rather die than be controlled by anyone. Wren did not come to play. This is so scary!!!

He finds her fascinating. He’s always found her fascinating, but he is not foolish enough to tell her that. Especially not in this moment, when he is afraid of her.

Oak is literally being controlled and is bridled and these are his thoughts…he's so downbad that it could actually get him killed. 

“I am already bridled,” he says, feeling a little frantic. “You don’t need to lock me away. I can’t harm you unless you let me. I am entirely in your power. And when I did escape, I came directly to your side. Let me kneel at your feet in the throne room and gaze up adoringly at you.”

THE LAST LINE!! IM DYINGGG!! THIS MAN NEEDS TO STOPPPPPP, OH OAKKKKK YOURE SOOOOO DOWNN BADDDDD FOR WREN

“I have to occupy myself somehow,” he says. “When I am between moments of gazing adoringly, of course.”

I have no words…Not Oak trying to use his charm on her, like dude, i dont think thats gonna work.

The door opens, and Fernwaif comes in, a single guard behind her. Oak recognizes him as Bran, who occasionally sat at Madoc’s dinner table when Oak was a child. He looks horrified at the sight of the prince on his knees, wearing the livery of a guard beneath a stolen cloak.

I absolutely LOVE that we’re getting past memories of Oak when he was a child. It also helps the readers feel nostalgic from reading the folk of the air series. When Jude, Taryn, Vivi, Oak, Madoc, and Oriana lived in peace.I hope we get so many of these moments…even though i have to say this paragraph is a little sad, how Oak recognized the guard as one of his fathers friends..

“You don’t know me as well as you think, Greenbriar heir,” she says. “I remember your stories, like the one about how you used a glamour against your mortal sister and made her strike herself. How would you like to feel as she felt?” 

NOT HER USING THIS AGAINST HIM!!! Love how that moment keeps being brought up. (And i predict that Oak will apologize to Jude about it in this book)

“I’ll slap myself silly willingly, if you like,” he offers. “No need for a command.”

OAK STOPPP IM DEAD

“What if, instead, I force you onto your hands and knees to make a bench for me to sit upon?” Wren inquires lightly, but her eyes are alight with fury and something else, something darker. 

Wren.... I don't think that sounds like a punishment to him sweetie…

“Crawl to me.” Her eyes shine, fever bright.

GUYS ITS THE LINE!! THE LINEEE!! SHE SAYS THE LINEEE HOLY SHI-

Again, Oak’s body moves without his permission. He finds himself writhing across the floor, his stomach against the carpet. He flushes with shame.

SHES SO WRONG FOR THAT. SHE'S HUMILIATING HIMM! Not even Jude did these thing to Cardan *sobs* 

When he reaches her, he stares upward, rage in his eyes. He’s humiliated, and she’s barely begun. She was right when she said he didn’t understand what it would feel like. He hadn’t counted on the embarrassment, the fury at himself for not being able to resist the magic. He hadn’t counted on the fear of what she would do next.

This is actually very sad. Wren is treating him somewhat in a way that she had been treated. She's hurt, and I guess it's very understandable, I just wish she didn't have to inflict that pain on Oak. 

Oak cuts his gaze toward Bran, who has remained stiff and still, as though afraid to draw Wren’s attention. The prince wonders how far she would go if he were not present.

Two things!! Number one I literally FORGOT the guard  was still in the room and he had to WATCH oak crawl to her. Number two, That last line…..what kind of things would she has ordered Oak to do if the guard had not been in the room……(side eye) 

Wren turns to him. “Perhaps I ought to have you sent to the Great Hall tomorrow and command that you endure ten strikes of an ice whip. Most barely get through five.”

Oh my god, she really is EVIL DUDE. I've never seen this kind of evil in a holly black book. Now I'm scared. 

Oak looks directly into her eyes. “Why are you keeping me at all, Wren? Am I a hostage to be ransomed? A lover to be punished? A possession to be locked away?”

“That,” she says, bitterness in her voice, “is what I am trying to figure out myself.” She turns to the guards. “Take him back to his cell.”

OH IM VERY EXCITED TO SEE WHAT SHE'S PLANNING. Remember that Jude and Cardan are on their way to save Oak, if anything I believe Wren is somehow going to use Oak against elfhame. Maybe she’ll order him to hurt jude or cardan. THIS BOOK IS GOING TO END ME AGH I NEED IT NOWWW.

“Good night, Prince of Elfhame,” Wren says as he is led from the room. He manages a single glance back. Her gaze locks with his, and he can feel the frisson of something between them. Something that might well be terrible, but that he wants more of all the same.

I'm very curious to know how Oak is going to handle this mess. Like he's absolutely F*CKED. He's so down bad for Wren that he would do anything to stay by her side and protect her, YET he also wants to protect his family members who are on their way to save him and to kill wren. He cannot save BOTHHHH, meaning he will probably have to choose sides. Holly Black why are you torturing us!!!

 MARCH 5TH HURYYY UPPP!

49 more days till this book comes out. stay strong. 

[whumpsoda]

Rate the name "Peepeepoopoo"

JUST KIDDING HAHAHAHAHA

Joke's aside... how about a whump prompt?

Caretaker finds Whumpee months after they had a fight. Caretaker hugs Whumpee, relieved that they finally found them and apologized to them for saying all the nasty stuff to them.

Whumpee just looks at them, confusion etched on their face.

"Who are you...?"

-- @whumperofworlds

10/10 name, would name my kid that!

Here’s a drabble!!! Trying to actually work on my inbox… I hope you like it! Sorry it took so long :3

cw: amnesia/memory loss, implication of past abuse

———————————————————————

“Who are you?!”

Caretaker recoiled, hands flying off of her once closest friend. At least, that was a good amount of months ago, anyway. Now he was shouting at her in the street as soon as she had tried to embrace him. For a second, like a fool, she had thought it could’ve been just like old times. For a moment.

“Whumpee, it’s…” Was he still angry? Did he not recognize her? Nervously, she chuckled. “Oh! I guess I did change my hair, and we haven’t seen each other in forever, but-!”

Baring his teeth and taking an offensive position, he growled. “Who? Are. You.”

Brows furrowed, she reached out to place a hand to his shoulder. It was only her. Why was he being so hostile? There was no reason for him to be so terrified of her. “Whumpee, hey. It’s me, it’s just Caretaker.”

“Hey! Off!” He hollered, swiftly and harshly slapping away her arm. For a moment, Caretaker just watched him jump back with a stunned expression.

Seemingly, he surely was still upset with her. And she was just an idiot for even thinking things could’ve just gone back to normal.

“S- sorry.” She whispered, taking a step away.

Whumpee’s face was flushed red with a sour concoction of anger, confusion, and embarrassment. “I don’t…” he stood almost hunched over, hiding himself inside of a hoodie five times too big, when she clearly remembered always seen him stand so tall. So bright. Like now he didn’t want to be seen. “How do you know me?”

Something was off. Something was very off.

Her mind was spinning in circles with puzzlement, desperate to get a grasp on the situation. “Whumpee… what’s wrong? Is something wrong…? I don’t understand-” Yet again she had made the mistake of unconsciously moving closer, an action he obviously didn’t take kindly to.

“Don’t come any closer! Stay back!” Whumpee sloppily swiped something from his pocket, holding it out as a means of a weapon. Unfortunately for him it was a mere credit card, but Caretaker positioned her hands above her head, anyway. Anything to make him feel a bit safer, maybe even trust her more. 

“Okay, okay. I’m not gonna hurt you, y’know. It’s Caretaker.” She chose her words carefully, ever so slowly speaking. Not taking a single movement that may put him more on edge.

“Are you…” Eyes wide and limbs jittery, distressfully trying to keep up his aggressive facade, Whumpee’s voice dropped to no more than a murmur. “Are you one of… one of Master’s friends?”

Master? 

Caretaker’s stomach churned as soon as he spoke such a title, overcome with shock and disgust. 

For a moment, as her expression twisted with horror, Caretaker took the time to look at him. To really look at him. To take notice of his bundled up frame on a humid day, to note his greasy, sweat dripping hair that contradicted his usually strict ideology against allowing himself to go unwashed, and the rich, raw marks of cracking red that circled his throat. She’d never seen him so disheveled. 

“Master? Whumpee, what are you talking about-”

“Who is Whumpee?! I don’t know what you’re talking about!” He was howling again, still pointing the useless object toward her with an iron grip, and most passersby were watching with unease and fascination. 

Whumpee’s passion was only getting his former friend riled up as well. “You-!” 

“Stay. Back.” He snarled, fiery rage flashing in his eye. From that alone she could just tell that he’d been through something Caretaker would never know the severity of. Something that broke the gates of his soft kindness, shriveling him into the trembling, vicious man she was faced with. 

“What… happened to you?”

He swallowed, and for a beat his face softened. “I…”

“I mean… Whumpee,” she huffed a bitter chuckle, carefully and slowly outstretching her hand. This time, he didn’t reject it. “Where have you been, all this time?”

[imaginemoons]

JEALOUS MC (OBEY ME)

Characters: Lucifer, Barbatos

Genre: hurt/comfort at end

Summary: With so many girls flocking over him you can't help but feel jealous/insecure

Warning(s): Bad English, Insecurity 

Additional things: Established relationship(in Lucifer's), Secret relationship, F!MC

| Lucifer |

You waited for your boyfriend outside of the council room because they were having a meeting it was around 5:00 pm 

When he came out you were going to go up to him but suddenly a group of girls gather around him so, you decided to just watch Lucifer talk to these girls seemingly annoyed but there was ONE girl that was REALLY annoying you she was always GIGGLING at him even though he wasn't saying anything funny.

That's when you recognized her from tv! She was Daniela a famous demoness and Actress everyone loved her, Her beauty attracted many men and women Including some angels

But even though as you knew that Lucifer said he could never love another woman, she was still better than you, you could never be that successful, loved, so u thought the best way was to just leave them alone, You started to walk away when suddenly someone said "Wait!- MC-" It was Lucifer, "What are you doing here?" He said.

You turn to him "Oh, well I thought we could walk home together since I got off my class late, but it seems like your still busy, so-" 

"Oh please Mc. I know your jealous." He smirked "What-.. ere you talking about" I say obviously in denial. "MC, You know I could never love another woman other than you."

"I know Lucifer, but... You know you can do better than me..." You said 

"Mc, Don't say that you are the best woman I have ever met you are kind, caring, brave... So, please don't say that about yourself.." he said. (Ofc all of this happened in an empty corridor where nobody was there so that nobody would know that he has a soft spot for you)

At this point you were trying so hard to hold back tears "Oh, Lucifer"(😭😭❣️) I say tears starting to slip out of my eyes. "I love you MC"

Lucifer said while pulling me into his embrace "I love you too" you say.

| Barbatos |

You watched while your boyfriend,Barbatos was helping a new maid with the laundry, The new maid Linda, Even though she was new there had already been rumors of her spreading in the castle that she's the most beautiful maid in the castle ever.

So you couldn't help but be jealous of her but ofc you would never admit that to barbatos. So you just stayed away from them for a while sometimes avoiding Barbatos whenever she's with him.. 

But of course your thing was never going to last long because Barbatos already knows that you are avoiding him, but only whenever Linda is around him...? He doesn't know why but he sure is going to confront you about it

So when he was done with helping Linda, he b lined straight to you. "MC" he said "what..?"

"Why have you been avoiding me?" "Avoid? You? What? I would never do that...." You say "Oh come on MC you know that I know so please.. tell me.. what's on your mind? Did I... Perhaps do something wrong?" "What? Never never... It's just.. just that.." You struggle to actually tell him the truth.

"Come on MC... You can tell me.. If you want. It's ok if you can't." He said "No no you deserve to know,The truth is ive been kinda.. Jealous...? And listen I know you would never but-" 

"Oh, MC you could've just told me... Then none of this "avoiding" would never happen..." He said "I know and I'm sorry"

"No don't apologize for your emotions, theyre not something we could ever control, I should say sorry"

 "For not acknowledging your emotions sooner, So I'm sorry..." He said "Oh, Barbs I'm sorry too for not telling you..." You say as you bring yourself into his arms. "I Love you, MC" he said "I love you more" you say smiling up at him, he only smirked back at you and pulled you into a kiss.

[superloves4]

I detested every minute of drawing that horse, I will do it again!

Anyway, I hoped I would get this out before the end of the year, alas it became the first artwork of the year instead. It's the comic I mentioned in my wips notes, and yeah, I know it doesn't make much sense for Fëanor to not recognize Miriel but I needed it for the plot, okay 😭​

Plot explanation + Nerdanel bonus under the cut:

Very well, I had this idea stuck in my head for a while due to my dissatisfaction with many post reembodiment fëanorian fic (don't get me wrong, I enjoy the heck out of those fics, they just happen to not fully scratch the itch) and how it's either the fëanorian basically throwing themselves to the ground to apologize to those they hurt, something I don't really see happening, apologizing requires a lot of vulnerability, it's something very raw that I just can't see the fëanorians being able to do right off the halls (and I'm not giving the Valar any credit *harunf*) or, it goes the opposite direction, and none of the fëanorians apologize at all and it's just accepted with at most some control from the Valar, I just can't accept this while also assume they just went back to their regular places in Tirion no problem besides some people being mildly mad at them.

So this was my concoction, the first two stories wouldn't be about Fëanor at all actually, it would be an Aretyel and a Curufinrod stories running concurrently:

The first one is about Aredhel not initially wanting to ever see Celegorm after he used her as a motivation to hurt Luthien, but after Maeglin reembodiement she thinks that if she can take her son back maybe she should give her former friend a chance.

The second is initially basically Curufinrod through the ages as Finrod decides to talk to Curufin despite his better reason saying otherwise, Curufin is at first very scathing and refuses any talk at all but after a difficult conversation with Ëarwen (which is mostly her calling him a bitch) Curufin decides to reevaluate his past with Finrod, eventually reaching Celebrimbor (who is a curufinrodion in this) and their complicated relationship

And then finally, the Fëanor one, it begins some time after the others already began but runs with them as well, the beginning is basically this comic, Fëanor arrives and finds no one besides the woman he doesn't know is Miriel and accepts staying with her rather than trying to talk with his brothers, the truth is that Vairë sent the wrong hour to Arafinwë so that Miriel would get time with her son (Miriel doesn't know this, she also thinks they just left Fëanor alone) (Vairë also thought that at most she would mildly inconvenience a perfectly well paid envoy that at most would get a disappointed look from the king, never imagining that Nerdanel would show up as well)

(Considering having shorted parts for Maglor, who already had his therapy sessions in Rivendell, meeting Maedhros and Elwing again, and another for Caranthir finding out that he and Haleth had a child, Erestor, and not knowing how to go about it)

Bonus:

[arson-09]

I dont talk much about minecraft youtuber drama here but god quackity is pissing me off with his shenanigans.

In case you missed it admins for quackitys minecraft server (specifically an admin named lea) came forth claiming that the admins were underpaid if paid, were working horrible hours, and generally treated like shit. This is of course paraphrasing but this is worker exploitation and disgusting.

Quackity then did a little stream saying he was “unaware” of anything wrong happening behind the scenes. Which is interesting considering this is his “passion project” and the studio is under his name and hes the one who hired everyone.

Then recently Lea (i apologize if im spelling her name wrong she is french if i recall) did an interview saying that quackity was basically lying, the ndas he had the admins signed were fake, and reiterated the horrible working conditions and the fact he knew everything.

Then today he streamed again saying he was stepping back because of the hate and threats we was receiving which of course is never okay but this is the first time he’s ever spoken on that subject (which is interesting as his twt fandom is known for being incredibly hateful and threatening people) and he was stepping back from the server. Again this is a simplified version, just hitting the major points of everything.

this is not accountability, this is him making someone else fix what hes done. He wont even openly admit to everything but his silence shows everything. What he has done to his workers is horrible and incredibly wrong but the majority of his fans dont care and are upset at dream stans of all people for “making him step back” (dream stans havent even been the main group doing this shit btw. they are just the group pointing out the hypocrisy the most as dream fans have received copious amounts of hate from qsmpers for the fact they like dream. Let it be clear that the allegations against dream have been proven false and as of me writing this post he has not done anything genuinely bad. like exploiting his workers)

Regardless of who you stan or hate, you have to realize that what quackity has done with his server and the admins is wrong and he should take accountability and discuss what hes done wrong. hes was/is a law student for heavens sake. This is only the tip of the iceberg of questionable things quackity has done (for example his merch company is extremely shady. there is very little information available about it online, people have trouble with shipping and receiving their orders, merch quality, and much more) and it saddens me that while the mcyt community preaches accountability and recognizing when a cc has done wrong, they fail to do it 99% of the time. I dont hate quackity, and i dont want him to get doxxed and receive death threats, but i need him to be transparent. To admit to his mistakes and be honest and actually change shit. Because right now him stepping back isnt fixing anything, its not helping the people who have been hurt by his actions. Im also really sad that the qsmp has been riddled with these mistakes as theres so much potential with it. It was the first bilingual minecraft server then multilingual. it united so many different parts of the minecraft community but it is not stable, its not going to last at this rate and thats so sad. Qsmp seems to just be a money maker for its creators, every part of it meticulous planned to see what will bring in the most views (as well as its the first server i have personally seen have a merch store? i wonder if the admins that play the characters are getting any of that money…)

Anyway, i just wanted to say my piece on it after ive been apart of the minecraft youtuber fan community for a long time and have seen a lot of shit :/ just a psa if your first reaction to this post is to get all upset in my comments i will block you. I do however appreciate genuine comments on the situation, as a fan or not of quackity. Worker exploitation is never okay but most of everything else is just how i see the situation.

(just wanted to add a quick edit cause i got a good anon but accidentally deleted it🧍🏻)

I am not making fun or trying to make the fact quackity is getting harassed less important. Doxxing and threats are never okay, and even if i dislike him i dont wish that on him. I am only disappointed that it took to this point for him to say something. Of course he couldve been planning something but he never explicitly said so so lots of people, me included, weren’t sure if he was going to ignore it as he does have a track record of not saying anything unless forced. As well as hes never condemned his fans for the fandoms habit of doxxing and harassment. Ofc Q cant control his fandom, but openly saying “hey stop doing that. i dont want yall to do that” would be nice. I thankfully have never experienced it but i had twt moots who got doxxed by qsmp fans and thats why i said i wish he had said something earlier. But i am not trying to take away how severe the fact hes getting doxxed is. Just wanted to make that clear👍🏻 Dont fucking dox or harass people, be critical but dont be horrible people.

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

How You Met THE SPARROW ACADEMY:

PAIRINGS: Sparrow Academy x Genderless!Descriptionless!Reader

FOLLOW UP TO: How You Met - The Umbrella Academy

A.N: we need more sparrow content ASAP. I fell quick and I fell hard

WARNINGS: Quick and minor mention of a bus crash (under Marcus tab), varying degrees of content for each character, me borrowing a villain from the comics I don't know shit about other than what i read off of TUA Fandom Wiki, and me still getting the hang of this format and writing and just having fun and being silly with it more than taking it seriously

LINKS: main masterlist || sparrow masterlist

MARCUS HARGREEVES:

Ahh Marcus 😍

He's really just so... 🤩😍🤪🥰😚☺️😅😘☺️🤩

Yeah

Oh my gosh seriously, theres a reason he's number one and it's because he's the biggest dork

You knew a thing or two about putting up about three different kinds of walls until you could hardly recognize yourself, what with you basically being the Lila of the Sparrows

It's complicated how you met but also, not in the slightest

True, there was only one Handler and the only kid she ever "had" was Lila

But she wasn't your mother, she was your boss

One that you only ever met once or twice, but you can hardly remember it, it was so long ago

You were recruited by her, however, at a unusually young age annnndd long story short, you quit

Working for an organization out of time sounded cool, and was. For about 2 (non)minutes

Then it just got depressing and way WAY confusing and downright dangerous

It took so many (non)years to plan an escape and then another two or so to actually put it into action and escape

Nothing unusual, you were constantly jumping from year to year, place to place, never staying one place too long. (Kinda like couch surfing! Time surfing if you want to put it that way)

It went off without hitch, your little plan, and had been going fairly smooth for what you perceived as about four or five years

Then said "pitstop" in good ol' 2009

That's when your path collided with the Sparrows

And when it did, you crashed

No literally, there's a literal crash involved

It was definitely something that happened by total chance

And yeah, you could argue that's how most things are, but, hopefully you get what I mean

Like, it's crazy how you just happened to forget something when you left for your walk for work and decided you had time to go around the corner and get it. Crazy that you had just enough time to catch the next bus

And that next bus just so happened to be the one that got caught in the crossfires of a Sparrow vs Villain of The Week fight

Thankfully nobody was seriously hurt, but there were a great number of close calls

You being one of them

And you had Sloane Hargreeves to thank

In a spur of the moment as you were fleeing the bus with the rest of the crowd, she pulled you lot from across the street and out of harms way

When the fight had died out, the weirdo supervillain calling himself the Murder Magician was taken away (his sidekick, the assistant as well) And the Sparrows were swarmed with press and thankful citizens

You think, because of this, it'd be virtually impossible to get any face time with the famed sparrows, right?

Wrong

Again, it's crazy how you just so happened to be trying to make a beeline out of there (what? being on the run meant blending in, and you couldn't very well do that from here) when you ran into a very handsome wall

"Oh! My apologies, I didn't see you there"

Okay, so. Not a wall. Just a very tall, very handsome, and very very famous man you knew more about than you probably should thanks to your old job maintaining timeliness and such

You insisted you had to go, but wouldn't you know it, your little streak of luck wasn't over yet

That murder magician guy? Did I mention? He had a little something called a murderbot

Kind of makes sense now, I guess. Usually, supervillains aren't as cool with being caught unless they have another trick up their sleeve

So, kinda awkward, but

the thing kinda took ya hostage along with some other unlucky few in the crowd thanks to advantage it got witht he element of surprise and all

Marcus and the sparrows handled it fairly quickly but it was still upsetting!

Experiencing a bus crash, a murder magician, his murderbot and then two rescues all in one morning can take a lot out of you!

Marcus, having already ran into you and then letting you get kidnapped right in front of him immediately after, he felt kinda responsible for you. call him old fashioned (lol)

He asked multiple times if you were okay

He did not want to leave your side until he knew you were okay

He'd invite you back to the academy where Grace could check you over for potential injuries (concussion, internal bleeding, etc) and he could be certain you'd be getting good medical care

(even though EMTs are right the f there lmao)

He may be a dork but he's also a spoiled rich kid like his siblings lskd8v8

You, all the meanwhile, having a whole different timeline's worth of knowledge on him and his siblings thanks to your time at the commission (this excludes the kugelblitz since that was technically not supposed to happen... I think) felt like you were treading dangerous waters interacting with someone so famous in history

I kinda lost where this was going lol but I do know that after all that, it was a bit harder to say no to Marcus and the little soft side he started to show when he was getting worried

Cause you were definitely started to get a little dizzy and you definitely hit your head at some point in all that chaos

And a very handsome, very famous, very dorky, and very kind man was now very worried about you

Okay, so maybe you could be a little bit late to work

SPARROW!BEN HARGREEVES:

I finally understand the term poor little meow meow

He is a wet cat

Angry and petty and snippy

And inexplicably ruthless

You two would probably meet somewhere totally unexpected

Hold on let me think of it real quick

I guess I could see you working their PR or something, if that was even a thing for them (you being newer, and ofc around their age)

Idk I feel like, with Sparrow Ben, and how much of a little shit (affectionate) he is, I think it would be kinda hilarious and yet totally on brand for him to have a connection (good or bad) with someone who got paid to tell him what to do - ie, he thinks he doesn't need it and that it's the others that need to behave and rebrand themselves when he's like, right there

His promo poster was literally the Had To Do It To Em pose, you know I'm right about this

Not exactly the kind of image that's super great for, you know, a superhero

So yeah, he would have to listen, but he'd give a stink

And even a bigger one when you threw it right back

I'd think you'd have to have that kind of skill, at least to some degree, after working in such a field

Or maybe I'm just talking out of my ass

The point is, y'all would likely be bitter, but like, the kind that got comfortable after a while?? If that makes sense??

Either way, he's such a little shit and i just don't see an instance where you meet and it's perfect sunshine and rainbows right off the bat pfft

FEI HARGREEVES:

BIRD SANCTUARY!! BIRD SANCTUARY!! BIRD SANCTUARY!!

YOU WORK IN A BIRD SANCTUARY

You two are a match made in the cosmos and its sickening 🥰

Fei, like her aforementioned brothers, takes herself and the job pretty seriously

So it can be a bit rare for someone to see her in her true element

Or at least--

People who really know her

Her family

So, when a total stranger just comes along and just,,

✨️✨️✨️

Its really special

And what better than bonding over birds, and nerding out over birds?!

I feel like she wouldn't exactly shy away from whatever she may be feeling

But I also think she'd try to underplay it

Ya know, keep it cool and not make a huge deal

You know, it wasnt a huge deal that one day, on her day off, she decides to visit a reveried bird sanctuary just outside of town

And that, upon that visit, she happened to stumble upon you, unable to stop yourself from spewing bird facts and hey? Did this random visitor know about the loyalty of crows and all the limitless examples of humans befriending crows??

Well they did now

Oh no did she love your corny enthusiasm over birds - crows especially!!

She just couldn't help herself when she first overheard you and wanted a better view

Sure she spent her time communing with the birds around her, but a select few of crows--her crows--adopted a sudden interest in you and your info-dumping to unwilling visitors, flocking to you wherever you went

It wasn't unusual for birds to bond with caretakers but you didn't recognize these crows that now seemed to follow you everywhere, always keeping a polite distance and paying careful attention to anything you had to say

Soon enough, you were fully conversing with these crows, making sure they were comfortable wherever they might have come from

That pretty much sealed the deal for her

From then on, she knew she had to make herself known to you; introduce herself, commend your respect for her birds (and the others in the sanctuary)

Yall hit it off immediately, no surprise ajdkps

Oh she's also so fucking smooth adjsjs

Idk, shes just kinda sweeps you off your feet when she finally introduces herself to you, commending you for your respect to your birds (totally teasing you for how you, by extension and strictly technical terms, treated her through her birds) and is such a coy little fker who loves seeing you get all flustered

My god though, shes also so fucking soft and sweet and loyal when you earn her trust

Either friend or partner, she'll come across something she'll think you'll like and give it to you next time she sees you (ohh idk, like a crow)

Shes so fucking loyal and just so heart melting while also being the coolest, smallest fker ever and AHHH

I just love her

ALPHONSO HARGREEVES:

Jskapsoyc

He's so boyfriend shaped

I love him, I need to know more about him, and I'd love to say how you guys met was some miraculous coincidence that makes perfect sense like Fei, but honestly he just really strikes me as someone you just Bump Into, ya know?

He's a guy, and he's just around

Maybe you met in a convenience store

That feels like something that would happen (or maybe I'm just still thinking of his fight scene with Diego)

Oo! Honestly, some place like a bowling alley or arcade

He, like Marcus, is such a dork

But he holds himself as like, a, Cool Dork, ya know?

And it's not as hidden

It's not hidden at all, he's such a snarky pizza-eating, soda-chugging, quick-as-a-whip dork

He feels comfortable in public, for not all the right reasons

And he's easy to run into

He gets a lot of mistreatment by Sparrow fans, but his attitude is much like his power

Arguably, it's because of his powers

He's rubber, they're glue; what bounces off of him sticks to you

ie, he's so good at letting a bad attitude bounce off of him and stick to his attackers

And yeah, sometimes his walls are down and stuff gets to him when he isn't prepared, but overall he is sadly (and infuriatingly) used to it

He's not always the favorite among fans, is what I'm trying to get at

>:( fucking stupid if you ask me

But!!

Woah woah woah. Hold on...

Back up

Apparently he's... your favorite?

Lol okay, yeah, sure, you're totally not trying to be nice, he thinks (note the sarcasm)

Like I said, he's used to feeling the occasional tap on his shoulder -- like now, where he stands in line for some good ol' mediocre bowling alley hotdogs -- cause someone recognized him

He was, arguably, one of the more recognizable sparrows after all, behind Christopher obviously, so

Here we go, he thinks, turning around, hands lazing in his pockets and quite possibly the least enthusiastic look any living thing could conjure on his face

And just like anyone else, you stood waiting as he turned to face you, smiling in a way that was all too obvious you were trying to hide your excitement

"Hey," he nods

"Sorry," you laughed, but not in the usual way. More like an awkward chuckle that sounded nervous. That wasn't too unusual, either

"Sorry," you said again, burying your hand back inside your pocket like the other. "you probably get this all the time, pretty much everywhere"

He shrugged it off, not appearing too bothered by it

"No problem," he said, glancing back ahead to check the line. It still was pretty long; some issue with the deep fryer holding up the line, by the looks of it. He had time. He looked back at you, waiting indifferently for whatever to come. "What's up?"

Judging by the looks of it, you had already started backtracking the moment you got his attention. You were second guessing getting his attention. Cause figures

"Just a big fan," your hands were still in your pockets, fiddling and moving around visibly through the thin cotton, maroon zip-up sweatshirt

You had shrugged, and thats when he noticed your zip up was familiar; it was a piece of sparrow merch

An older one, judging by how worn it looked

The little sparrow insignia higher up on the left breast of the jacket was still there, but it was significantly faded, and the matching white rope laces dangling from the hood were fraying at the ends

He nods again, leaving the future of the conversation up to you

Wildly inconvenient for you, you thought, considering you hadn't exactly thought this far ahead. At least, if you had, you immediately forgot.

You said the first thing that came to mind, cause of course you did

"I loved the Sparrow comics when I was younger,"

Okay, yeah, you definitely regretted this. This was mortifying. Plain and simple.

Sadly, however, Alphonso saw this in your face and misconstrued the reasons for regret

He thought you were regretting talking to him when really you were just getting in your own head

You quickly assure him though, that, actually, he's your favorite and you think he's super cool and you've actually been a fan of his since yall were kids

He takes the information like any other fan interaction,

That is until it really clicks for him you're being totally serious and your enthusiasm is genuine and he kinda :o

Then he's such a suave little shit I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Goes straight to his head, God bless <3

SLOANE HARGREEVES:

Love of my life, bane of my existence 🥰

She's perfect and such an inconvenience to me personally

I love her entirely <3

She's the sweetest of the sweet and sunshine in every sense of the word

Huh? Oh right!

How you met... *ahem* ☺️

Oh no biggie, she just uhh, saved your life is all

Okay okay, maybe not your literal life but she did save your morning shake which saved your morning which saved your ass from your boss

She was a blushing mess despite the grace of her powers and agility -- but it technically had been her fault

Sloane had been in such a rush, she unintentionally collided with you on one of the busier streets downtown

Totally cliche and a meet-cute right out of the movies

I honestly don't think I have much else to say about that, it was pretty straight forward and sweet (like her)

Admittedly you had been rattling around her head for a few days afterwards cause hey 👀👀👀 she can appreciate what's in front of her - and yet, she was kicking herself for not doing something about it

She held a lot of responsibility as a sparrow and part of her was afraid, not so much upholding the sparrow image, but disappointing her siblings

Sloane dreams of a having a life of her own, unsanctioned by her father and/or her brothers and sisters. She's been planning ahead for her inevitable exit, why had she chickened out with you??

Almost two weeks had passed since she ran into you and thirteen days since she talked herself into giving up on anything happening.

She had scolded herself, really, how foolish it was of her to think she could have something sweet and endearing with a very cute person like you

Sloane is a romantic in every sense, and this had merely been proof. How naive

And...

How naive of her to think she saw you standing out like a sore thumb in one of the sparrow crowds stationed outside for one of their outings

She had to do a double take when you gave her a shy wave, and she definitely had to make sure she wasn't making a fool of herself as she made her way over

You had sent her a grateful nod when she covertly steered you two out of the reach of cheering fans crowding around you trying to get to her and her siblings

Sloane may or may not have failed in her attemps to tamper down the corny smile that came with your being here

You looked almost, shy

"I thought you seemed familiar," you smiled, looking up over her shoulder at one of the many huge banners plastered on the academy. She followed your gaze over her shoulder and then quickly averted her gaze, not overly eager to see the sight

Were her cheeks always this sore?

JAYME HARGREEVES:

She was forged by the gays, for the gays

I love that trope where the sunny sunshine one is the grumpy grumps favorite

I feel like that could easily apply to her

But I also feel like it wouldn't be like that immediately, if at all

Not even soon

It would be a long process to get her there cause she's a sparrow after all, and being a sparrow means you come with an ego and stubbornness so strong it might as well be its own superpower

When she met you, she was irrationally and entirely furious

A big part of it was you kept cropping up everywhere

You delivered a pizza to her and Alphonso once upon a time and ever since, by total coincidence, you kept reappearing

She didn't believe it was accidental ofc

She thought you were some stalker

Meanwhile you were just as confused

It wasn't exactly love at first sight for you, either

Jayme was brash and short tempered, but when she was around you -- bumped into you on the street, out for a run in the park, whatever -- she was just plain cruel

And the thing is, she didn't know why

All you had done was the deliver the pizza, made light conversation with Alphonso and wished them both a good day before leaving

The fucking nerve of you

She's just crushing hard, actually

Nah, you're just annoying to her, that's totally it

She totally didn't think you were infuriatingly attractive, fun to be around or anything. And the display of dry humor she witnessed when you were chatting with her brother totally didn't anger her in a way she couldn't understand because she wasn't used to cute people saying stuff that she almost laughed at

But she didn't laugh. So there

She won, you lost

And you didn't even know it.

You simply thanked Alphonso for the early arrival tip, nodded a goodbye to both of them and then left

Just like that. No fan freak outs despite you knowing who they were, no autographs. Just a "thanks for saving the day" and a "let it cool for a few minutes, the pizza oven can get pretty hot and it was a short drive here"

That's it.

But that's just the thing.

That was never it.

There was always more, and Jayme wasn't buying it.

You were too calm, like you had been planning that meeting for ages

Maybe you were, even if that didn't make a damn lick of sense

Alphonso calls her out on her shit and he's the only one she really listens to even though she's not happy about it

On some level she knows she's being an asshole but it's kinda hard for her to help

Oh, real quick, by the way

If you're in the community and that's the context between you two for this preference, I don't mean to say she's acting like this cause of internalized homophobia or anything, she's just kind of an asshole skskxhcppff

This girl knows she's gay

Like Ben, she's more like a cat than a dog

She's cute, but she bites, and she's quick and really, she's just a total dick

It's also just kind of a Hargreeves thing, too to be fair

But, like cats, it's kind of, weirdly, part of their charm

She does make an effort though, after her talk with Alphonso, to be less... dickish

It works

Kind of

After a few practice runs

And lots of pizza orders later

But eventually, she's working her way up to answering the door and getting the pizzas from you with one goal in mind

Not making you storm away in rage

I mean, sure, part of the reason she gets so mad is cause you can actually keep up with her

It's never been this hard for her to get the last word in cause you actually can keep up with her and whatever she dishes out to you, you dish right back

In a way, she's kinda met her match

And that made things worse

But. You were still human and she was the one who was a literal super whose specialty was finding someone's weakness

(Actually Jayme sometimes worries she does that somehow without actually using her powers, so that was a big part of her wanting to be better ☹️)

And she's making mild progress!

It isn't until she's dialing the pizza place and working through her nerves as she does so that she realizes why she's so nervous

And then she throws the phone on the couch in embarrassment cause ew feelings

But one thing keepa her from giving up completely:

For whatever reason, you keep coming back

[mercy-thompson-fanfiction]

Leah and Bran's conversation after the events of Wild Sign

A/N: I had this one already drafted and just never posted it because I literally hate how much I find Bran fascinating as a concept. Like, we all recognize that he did technically do this twice that we know of right? Anyways, he's devolving and I think we can all agree that's fine. ETA: link at bottom to AO3

“You love me.”  The words felt wrong on her tongue. It came out so much flatter and emotionless than she had meant for it to, but she was tired. 

The weight of two centuries being closed off and held at arms length was bone-crushing. Two centuries. Two hundred years she had felt nothing and now even something that should have felt normal—would have felt normal to any other mated werewolf—felt like a tsunami.

“You only want to apologize because I remember.” Everything in her wanted to turn away, but something was forcing her to stay with her feet planted firmly where they were. 

He was thinking too much if he wasn’t responding, gauging her reaction and trying to analyze the best possible outcome. That was what he did always, though usually he was quicker. 

“Unless you refuse to even give me that.”  

“Greatly wronged,” was what he had said, “I don’t want to lose you”.  Manipulation at its finest, he never would apologize. 

There was so much to unpack and Leah didn’t quite think she had the energy for it. She had remembered nothing until that split-second moment of death. Then she had known and it felt as if she’d never failed to know. Like her body had always remembered even if she had not always been able to recall it.  Confessing to her then would have given her power. Admitting he had done wrong would have been too kind. 

I love you.  The only one she could remember loving before these last few days. 

“I don’t forgive you.”  

It was ridiculous. It was against her character. The tears in her eyes clouding her vision betrayed her insecurities more than anything else did. The embrace he met her with wasn’t kind or loving, it wasn’t there for comfort. It was a restraint because she had punched him, half unaware of when she’d made the decision to even swing. 

“I deserved that.” His agreement wasn’t helping, it only made her feel undeniably insane. 

Even in his grip, she couldn’t stop. She shoved at him, only vaguely aware of her own voice. 

Screaming. She was screaming and most of it wasn’t actual language, just noise for the sake of an outlet. The other bits and pieces were senseless—thoughts crossing her mind too fast to process. She screamed because he had stolen her chance at peace, because his children hated her, because he had made her feel less than, because he had ruined her. She felt ruined. There was no way to leave, even if she did want to. He had manipulated her then and he was using her now, using her own emotions against her. Using his feelings which he had kept hidden under lock and key to make her happier. 

She wasn’t happier. 

He had been in the doorway, hadn’t passed into the room at all initially.  She had crossed into his space and hit him and he’d grabbed her and squeezed, catching her hands between them where she was still pushing even as he stepped into the room and slid down the wall until they were in a heap on the floor. 

The tears hadn’t stopped, traitorous fiends, and what few words were still tumbling out of her mouth didn’t even make sense to her. There was no attempt at hushing her, just acceptance or maybe resignation.  

Once, very early on, she remembered him telling her that there was no way he could hurt her. His wolf wouldn’t let him.  Bullshit, she bit him to stop herself because she was making a ruckus and embarrassing herself but neither his his nor the taste of his blood made her recoil. It did give her enough satisfaction, however, to draw a trembling breath before she fell limp altogether in his arms and rested her forehead on his now-bloodied shoulder.

“You hurt me.”

“I recognize that,” He was still agreeing with her and that alone was unnatural at best. “If you would like me to, I will do better.”

If she would like? She wasn’t very sure what she’d like, but that seemed an appropriate starting place. He should do better, should have been doing better this entire time if he thought she was worthy of his affection and appreciation. 

Because she’d said it was love, what she felt from him, but was it? Was it anything more than recognition that she was good at her job, at her role as his mate. 

“You have every reason to doubt me—“

She moved her hand from its place between their bodies to touch a finger to his lips and closed her eyes. Her body was still shaking, her head still on his shoulder. She should move, there wasn’t really a world where she wanted to wake up and actually have the conversation they needed to have. Right now, she needed to unpack it all. 

Alone.

“That is…understandable. I can give you a day to think about it.”

One day to unpack two centuries of abuses. 

How generous. 

[anders-hawke]

what gets me about the entrapment line is that he says it to pen just to be immature and hurt her because, now knowing that she's whistledown, he knows just how much she did to prevent him from marrying marina - to prevent him from being trapped. but what he actually feels is that he's trapped between a rock and a hard place: he loves pen but he hates whistledown. and before he found out, those were things he believed could coexist. but now he's being forced to accept that he cannot do both - he cannot love pen and hate whistledown, he can only do one. he can love penelope and accept her for all her foibles or hate whistledown and the woman behind the column. either way, he has to accept that pen and whistledown are one and the same, which he refuses to do. and he wants pen to feel horrible for putting him in that position.

colin tends to rush into things without giving them proper consideration and in season three, he's trying to not do that. it's only when he's forced to take his time that he does things well. in 3.01, pen walks away from him at the garden party and at lady danbury's ball, forcing colin to take the time to formulate a good apology for his comment at the featherington ball. in 3.03, colin is quite literally left speechless (from horniness) and then has his chance to confess his love to pen ended by debling taking pen away for a dance, forcing colin to take the time to formulate an argument as to why pen shouldn't marry debling and figure out how to put his feelings to words (as we see in the carriage scene and the mirror scene).

colin is painfully aware that he's prone to jumping into things after his engagement to marina and his fake rake persona, so he keeps asking pen if she's sure because it feels like his whole life has led to him loving her and he couldn't bear it if she felt like they were moving too swiftly. once she affirms her commitment to him by confessing that she's been in love with him since the moment they met, he believes he's finally found his purpose in taking care of pen and that they work so well together because they spent their childhoods getting to know each other as friends. this is the opposite of jumping into a situation blind, so of course he's heartbroken to find out that he very much did go into their relationship blind.

he accuses her of trapping him as if she tricked him into having sex with her, ensuring they would marry, because he wants to say something that will absolutely blindside pen the way colin felt blindsided by finding out that she's whistledown. never in a million years would colin have expected pen to be the one who ruined marina's, eloise's, and her own reputations, and he knows that never in a million years would pen expect kind, sensitive colin to be so callous as to accuse her of entrapping him. it's beneath him, certainly, and he knows that, but if there's one thing that colin hates, it's recognizing when he's wrong if he feels as though there's no benefit to it.

he recognizes he was wrong to say he would never court pen because he lost their friendship over that, but by apologizing, he can regain that. conversely, moving on from marina didn't seem to offer either of them any benefits, so he didn't until marina insisted that he needed to because the benefit would be that he could focus on the people in his life that actually matter - his family and pen. so colin only accepts that pen and whistledown are one and the same and decides to love pen for all that she is when he realizes that wallowing in his envy and anger and heartbreak will only cause him to lose her forever; the benefit to apologizing will be that they get to be happy together.

[ingravinoveritas]

nabrrie replied to your post "I thought I was the only one who was weirded out by…”

@ingravinoveritas thanks for the answer and sorry for the rant in your askbox, but your blog feels like a safe place. I wouldn't discuss this on other socials bc I don't have the strength to deal with GT fans. To be an unplanned child is a topic that I still discuss in therapy, so seeing it treated so lightly by a mother as excuse to brag about her sex life disturbed me. Interesting that who claims it's wrong to ship D/M bc it's disrespectful to the kids is ok with this. And for that matter, she’s not a high school girl bragging about her boyfriend. The “I shagged DT and you didn’t” attitude is immature and out of place. You’re having sex with your husband… so? We know that you’re married. David is handsome and fans can be creepy sometimes, but she’s an actress, her father was the Doctor - she must know very well how to deal with the fans. I’m sorry if she feels insecure, but I don’t think she’s handling this very well. And, if she does feel insecure, I don’t think it’s about a bunch of strangers online… And you’re right, no mention of the word love whatsoever… (end of the rant, sorry)

@nabrrie No need to apologize at all! I'm glad you felt safe enough to rant in my inbox. The fact that people are refusing to see anything wrong with that caption solely because it was Georgia who posted it is disturbing to me. (I even saw one person say "If this was anyone else I would be disgusted, but Georgia is an icon.") If your first instinct is to be disgusted by that caption, it should not matter who wrote it. It should not matter that it's "British humor" because humor being British doesn't mean it also can't be wildly unfunny or even hurtful. And it's wildly hypocritical to me that these fans who rail against RPF and say how it could harm their children are the same fans who have no problem with Georgia writing a caption like that.

I've said this before, but it bears repeating: Georgia should not be immune from criticism simply because she is David's wife, or because she is an ally to the LGBTQ community. Being an ally does not mean someone can't be rude or a jerk, because human beings are complicated and can be more than one thing at a time. Calling her out for using her kid's birthday post as an excuse to brag about her own sex life is not some outrageous act--it's a reasonable response, particularly from people such as yourself who have experienced the consequences of being an unplanned child.

It's amazing to me how people have read things into her caption, or made assumptions because of it based on what they want to believe her and David's relationship is. I've seen people say it meant "They were madly in love when they had me," but the word "love" was never used anywhere in that caption. They were madly in drunk when they had her (or at least Georgia was), and that's all it takes to have a baby--two people having sex, whether they are in love or not. And at the end of the day, that is what her caption was actually about: Georgia letting us know that she is having sex with David and the rest of us are not.

But she clearly is insecure, because it looks like she actually did respond to one of the numerous tweets criticizing her this morning:

So, let's take a step back here. She's over on Insta bragging about getting to shag David and how great their sex life is, but instead of actually shagging him, she is searching for her name on Twitter again and taking the time to respond to stuff like this. The paradox is quite something, really.

Also, the fact that she does not or cannot recognize that what she said in that caption is not normal seems to indicate that she thinks she can say and do whatever shes wants, regardless of who it affects or whether it sends her kids out into the world with a very skewed idea of what is "normal." Interestingly, though, I don't think we can say that she doesn't care what people think, because if she didn't, she wouldn't be searching her name (again) and looking for comments to which she can respond.

Whatever the case may be, I agree with you that whatever has her feeling insecure has nothing to do with people online (@irvinis has volunteered a particularly interesting theory on your original Ask). And for someone who has dealt with fans for so many years (as you also mentioned), she definitely is not handling this in the way you would expect. I guess we'll have to see if she pushes back against any of the other critical comments...

[whitleyschn33]

…that Whitney post was just beautiful despite that tragic past.

I think the worse part about this: when weiss came back again she insulted, look down on Whitney and worse of all pointed a sword at him. (A gun sword where god forbid it goes off: accidental or worse)

Honestly I truly hated how Whitney was supposed to give that hug to weiss despite weiss not earning it.

Whitney should had pushed her away or even slapped her. (Maybe I am too harsh but you don’t get to do all these awful actions and expect me to be civilized with you)

If anything those scenes made me hate weiss, winter and especially willow for their actions.

I'm pretty sure I've made this joke before but -

Because, like, we get the set-up for a reconciliation where Weiss recognizes why Whitley would be angry with her and take that chance to reach out to him with her scene with Willow, but then the next time she sees him, she threatens and scolds him, treating him like a child. Then the next scene after that is her acting like she forgives him and hugging him and all is well, and that's all well and good on her end since we've never seen Whitley do anything but be a brat so it's easy for her to forgive him, but then what about Whitley?? Like - you still left him behind, multiple times, and until this very moment when he does something genuinely kind and decent for a friend he has no reason to give a shit about, specifically saying he's not doing it for you, you decide that that's the end of it? And then Whitley's anger just vanishes and it's all good? That's bullshit.

Whitley still has every right to be upset and angry when nothing on his end of the emotional situation was concluded. Weiss never talked about anything with him or acted like she did anything wrong - and let me be clear, leaving an abusive environment was not wrong for her to do, but that doesn't mean it didn't still hurt Whitley - or even apologize for forcing her way in and threatening him with her weapon. Weiss does nothing with the insight Willow gives her and does nothing to earn any sort of goodwill on Whitley's part, but because Weiss has chosen to forgive him, Whitley just has to accept it I guess because we can't have anyone actually remember their motivations when it's time for them to join the good guy squad. Doesn't matter how angry you might have been about being left behind in a neglectful and abusive environment, boy, your sister has forgiven you for the sin of being pissy with her, so it's all in the past now! I'd rant more, but I've actually got an entire breakdown on these scenes here, so, uh, check it out if you're interested, lol.

I... can't see Whitley actually slapping anyone, it doesn't seem his style, but he sure as hell looked very uncomfortable to be hugged by Weiss until he was forced to accept it!

And God, Willow. The fact that she's well aware of what she's done with regard to raising Whitley but then just... doesn't seem to care until he's almost killed? Miss me with hasty redemption - you abandoned your children for years, abandoned your son for the past day or two, and suddenly because you saved his life it's all okay? No. It's not. And the fact that Whitley is made to just smile and nod is frankly a bit sickening.

(Thank you, though! Just kinda wanted to put into perspective how young Whitley was when all of this was going down. Like I said in the post, I do personally lean more towards him being 15 or 16, the idea of him being 12 when Weiss leaves for Beacon just feels wrong, but with how vague the timeline and their ages are, Whitley being 5 when their family falls apart for good is a very real and very tragic possibility.)