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jodibodie · 3 years ago

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I Have Some Feelings

To start let me just emphasize how much I love and adore this show and always will. This was my covid show. Both of my kids loved “Lucifer” and always said I should watch so at the start of covid I binged it and when I say binged, I mean all 4 seasons in a few days and have rewatched so many times I’ve lost count. I think it is timeless, engrossing, original and all around amazing. The writing and the cast were all excellent. The writing was smart and consistently strong and that is so rare. Funny, sad, poignant, it hit all the notes with very few plot holes or missteps. There is not one episode in the entire series that was not engaging. Even if I didn’t like an episode, it was still well done. What a rarity.

The cast is scary good. Completely underrated. Just all phenomenally talented. I don’t remember the last time a cast was this strong. From the core group to both reoccurring and guest stars, the cast was just fantastic.

Tom Ellis, no words. The man deserves to choose whatever he wants to do acting wise. He should have people breaking down his door. He can truly do it all and do it all well. He took a character that if portrayed by a lesser actor could have come off as a complete asshole and made him one of the most sympathetic and loveable characters in recent history. Ellis made a crime solving devil, a promiscuous man-child that occasionally breaks into song and the evidence room into a beloved character that has become an icon.

Lauren German, WOW. She is just so damn good. She can break your heart one second and have you laughing the next. She makes Chloe real, and people don’t realize how hard that is. Chloe is smart, kind, tough and gorgeous but she’s also an insecure dork. She’s us and German just brings it.

DB Woodside I’ve loved since “Buffy”. He is a phenomenal actor and who knew he could bring the laughs so well? His expressions were classic. Clueless angel indeed. Amenadiel could have been very one-dimensional but because of Woodside’s talent he became fully fleshed out and full bodied.

I have no doubt Lesley-Ann Brandt has a huge career in front of her. She took a character that very well could have been hated, a demon and made her into one of the most human characters on the show. Kudos to her for taking a tough role and making it her own.

Kevin Alejandro is another actor I’ve loved for a long time. He also took a character who if we’re going to be honest here did so many unlikeable things that he should have been truly despised but because of Kevin’s portrayal he was beloved. Great actor and a terrific director.

Rachael Harris IMO is the downlow MVP. She was literally the rock and again, with a lesser actress the role could have been a throwaway. The normal human, the sounding board but Harris imbued her with so much more. Her spit takes, sarcasm and her obvious compassion was what made Dr. Linda an unforgettable character. Once again just perfect casting.

Aimee Garcia was a great addition. She made Ella a fan fav and put so much heart, joy and sincerity into Ella never once did you doubt that she would prevail no matter what was thrown at her. Garcia was just fantastic, and I want her skin care regime.

Scarlett Estevez pulled off the one thing I thought almost impossible. She took the role of a young child and made it so I didn’t want to cringe. She portrayed Trixie so beautifully from day one that she was a true pleasure to watch. Even though Trixie was super precocious Estevez never made her obnoxious. I loved Trixie and I have never said that about any child character in an adult show. She was wonderful and has an amazing career in front of her.

That said, I’ve got some feelings now that I’ve seen the finale and have had some time to digest it all. I love that Chloe and Lucifer had eternity and I agree that they had to be separated for Chloe’s lifetime. Didn’t like it but it’s the logical path. She’s human, he’s not. The ageing thing alone necessitated them not being together long term on earth and that’s just to start the list. They had to had to be apart for the short term to get their eternity but the duality of Lucifer's ending and Amenadiel's didn't sit right. Amenadiel as God got to have it all. His calling, his family etc. while Lucifer had to give up everything. I also don’t buy the “If he came up from hell, he could never leave them again” defense. I call bullshit. Amenadiel managed, plus, missing out on the day to day is a huge sacrifice and by Lucifer missing out on the day-to-day Rory could still have had the hatred she needed to drive the story. Popping in for birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc., the big stuff does not a father make. Not being there for skinned knees, first heartbreaks, and all the little things a daughter needs her dad for can build up tons of resentment. Boom, absentee father, just like his dad was. That provides all the millennial angel angst you could ask for. I have a daughter; it doesn’t take much.

The Trixie issue was huge for me. Can Chloe see her in Heaven? Will she be able to travel to Heaven and visit Trixie, Penelope, Dan, her father? Chloe hesitated leaving Heaven in 5x16 because she couldn’t bear saying good-bye to her dad again. It seems as if Chloe sacrificed everything for Rory including Trixie. I want to preface this by saying. I liked Rory and loved the actress. I didn’t however like how it was as if she were their only child. When Lucifer spoke of family Trixie was not mentioned. Their family day, the same thing. She didn’t need to be there, I get that the explanation regarding Rory would have been way too much to get into but just a mention of her, how awesome it would have been to share this day with her would have worked. It seemed as if Lucifer went from, “I would do anything to protect that little Urchin” to “Trixie who”. Trixie was a character that we watched grow up and she meant something to us. I hate to say this, but the writers did Trixie and the viewers dirty in this regard.

This show was built around a few premises. Free will, honesty, redemption, sacrifice and family, both blood and made. The ending completely negated almost all of these. Chloe and their entire family were made into the one thing Lucifer abhorred the most which are liars. Their daughter was brought up surrounded by lies. What did they tell Trixie? The poor kid just lost her dad, and she was pissed at Lucifer when he went back to hell the first time. Did she grow up hating him because as far as she knew Lucifer left her mom again without saying good-bye and this time it was even worse because Chloe was pregnant. I get that the actress who plays Trixie had limited availability but seriously. A quick good-bye.

“Hey Urchin, you won’t understand why for a long time, but I have to leave. You know I never lie so I can’t explain why but know that I love you and your mom and one day I hope you can forgive me.”

A 30 second scene would have worked.

As all the characters learned throughout the series, omission of the truth is just a form of lying and there are always repercussions i.e., Chloe and Father Kinley, Dan shooting Lucifer, Maze finding out about Lilith and even Ella not being told. As far as free will, both Chloe and Lucifer had their free will taken from them in the end. By Rory forcing them to abide by her wishes, their free will was forfeited. It was a huge manipulation on Rory’s part and considering how much Lucifer hated manipulations it just didn’t sit right.

Parents making huge sacrifices I get. Chloe and Lucifer sacrificed everything for their child. Unfortunately for me this sacrifice, the way it was written seemed contrived to pull out maximum and IMO unjustified angst. I love angst. Hell, this is my favorite show. I thrive on the angst. But as I wrote earlier, all the anger, angst and hatred towards Lucifer could have been achieved without having Lucifer completely out of the picture. I have two kids and my husband, and I have made huge life altering sacrifices for them as many parents do but being there for the day-to-day little things was what made the difference in their lives and cemented the close relationships we have with them.

“Yeah, dad you were great. Showing up for the fun stuff, always swooping in for the big finish to play the hero then ditching us when things got tough. When Grandma was dying where were you? Nice that you showed up for the funeral but the six months leading up to it…we needed you and once again you weren’t there. When T got sick, when Jen broke my heart, blah, blah, blah…”

Even the whole Chloe dying scenario. They could have written it that rage Rory traveled minutes before Lucifer got there. Have him pop in right after Rory comes back. There were so many ways to achieve the end game they wanted other than the way they went. It seemed contrived and as if they took the easy way out to get where they needed to go. The Rory rage that was the catalyst for her traveling back in time and Lucifer finding his calling could still have been accomplished without the whole Lucifer disappearing storyline.

Now that I’ve finished my diatribe there’s a couple of additional things I would like to say. Lucifer is and always will be one of my favorite shows of all time. There are not enough words to describe the comfort and enjoyment this show has brought me. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the producers, cast and crew. You truly created something special.

To the fandom. Please do not let a polarizing conclusion rip apart the fandom. The only other fandom I was a part of tore itself apart so badly that the FBI got involved. Hence why I waited for 15 years to dip my toe in again. Everyone invested in this show has the right to their feelings. Debate is fine, baiting and bullying are not. The Lucifer fandom like the show is very special. Without the fandom we wouldn’t have gotten any conclusion so don’t let opposing viewpoints tarnish what has been a magical journey.

#lucifer #season6 #spoilers #lucifer spoilers #lucifer season6 spoilers #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #trixie espinoza #rory morningstar #luciferseason6 #tom ellis #lauren german #db woodside #lesley-ann brandt #rachael harris #kevin alejandro #scarlett estevez #brianna hildebrand

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pagingdoctorbedlam · 3 years ago

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Out of Uniform: CP9 Fashion Headcanons

Thanks to @jazminetoad for the idea! These are just general headcanons; I refuse to invoke brands after years of working in fashion retail.

Rob Lucci: Folks may not expect Lucci to think much about fashion and presentation, but who do you think makes those matching outfits for Hattori? Lucci carefully coordinates his outfits for any occasion; even his shipwright outfit was cultivated for a perfect blend of blue-collar worker and eccentric ventriloquist. Lucci has been known to modify his own clothes with extra touches, and always has a pocket sewing kit on hand. And yes, he loves wearing top hats, has since he was a kid, and works them into outfits whenever possible.

Kaku: Kaku doesn't consider himself a master of fashion. His main priority is to find clothing that's easy to move in, but durable enough to stand up to any trouble he gets into. He puts the highest priority on shoes, considering how much he parkours around. He also tends to hide a lot of his body, since he's picked up plenty of scars over the years and doesn't like it when folks ask questions. He does have a preference for bright colors when given the choice, though he's smart enough not to complain about uniforms.

Kalifa: Absolutely has to be the hottest person in the room at any given time. Even before her devil fruit powers, she's always preferred to show a lot of skin; it's not just to allure, but she takes pride in her body and appearance. She can run great in heels (which conversely gives her issues when running in flats), and like Lucci, can come up with an outfit that's both beautiful and deadly for any given role. She's also pretty great with makeup, and is always willing to help "beautify" the others as needed.

Blueno: Blueno's only concern for clothing is how well it'll fit any given role. He doesn't care if he's in plain blacks, pressed suits, or bright and tacky shirts. Anything to suit the mission at hand. If told to go shopping for what he himself is interested, he'll honestly be at a lost. His preferences never mattered for mission, so he's no longer sure what "just Blueno" actually likes. So he'll go for practical clothes that could fit a number of purposes and call it good.

Jabra: Like Kaku, Jabra also prefers clothing that's loose and comfortable to move in (or to take a nice nap in after a drink...). He also likes to show off his strength, hence why he always keeps his shirt open. His fashion secret? Those sunglasses are actually prescription; his vision's worse than he'd like to admit in the eye with a scar over it. Also, he doesn't know how to tie a tie, and at this point he's too proud to ask.

Kumadori: Kumadori can pull off any look, so his fashion varies wildly. List any sort of style, be it a simple professional look or something wild like "pastel goth cottagecore", and he's already got an outfit ready to go. The main stipulation is that his hair remains free and ready for combat. Please keep your hair accessories far away from him! Like Kalifa, Kumadori is a wiz with makeup, though he leans more toward theatrical makeup and occasional practical effects.

Fukuro: When not in his CP9 uniform, Fukuro loves clothes with bright colors and obnoxious patterns. His wardrobe is full of bowling or Hawaiian shirts (what do you call those in One Piece...?), and when he's in official uniform, he'll sometimes sneak in a colorful tie. When you can move too fast for most folks to see, what does it matter how stealthy or loud your outfit is? On rare occasion, he'll even decorate the zipper on his mouth with a cute little keychain.

Bonus

Spandam: Spandam fully agrees with the "dress for the job you want, not the job you have," so he leans towards fancier clothes whenever he can manage. The wrinkle in this is finding clothes he doesn't have to pull over his various injuries (mainly his face), hence lots of button-up shirts, vests, jackets, etc. Spandam is vain as hell, and wants everything around him to look as nice as he can manage to make up for what he can't control (again, his face).

Nero: Leans toward goth and theatrical whenever possible. I assume CP9 trainees didn't get much say in their wardrobe until "graduating" to CP9, so he was only just developing his fashion style before his untimely demise. Rest in peace and fishnets, buddy.

Bedlam (CP9 OC): The biggest note about Bedlam's fashion sense is that they take great pains to hide their most defining features. Their heavily-scarred legs are always hidden behind giant boots, and their wings are covered up by thick jackets or their labcoat. Honestly, their labcoat almost functions as a security blanket for the doctor, though they get better about this after spending more time with the other agents. The rest of their fashion ends up as simple t-shirts and jeans, or sometimes a dress, anything they can wear that doesn't interfere with their wings or boots.

#op headcanons #bedlam rambles #cp9 #rob lucci #kaku #kalifa #kumadori #blueno #jabra #fukuro #fukuro one piece #kaku one piece #kumadori one piece #doc bedlam #spandam #one piece nero

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amethystpath-writes · 4 years ago

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Hi ! Love what you wrote BUT ABSOLUTELY ADORE "Dance with the Devil" with Hades (#teamhotgreekvillainforever) and Persephone !! So ... Perhaps a continuation please *O* ??

Continued from this.

Looking down at her legs as she sat on a throne of thorns, Persephone bit her tongue. Hades stained her once brilliantly glowing legs with the marks of the souls which tried to drag her down into the Underworld’s fiery and endless depths.

‘A reminder,’ the lord told his queen, ‘that I could have let you fall. I did not have to pull you out.’

But he did have to pull her out, didn’t he? Because Perse was the only one Hades would have ever considered being his queen. Her brilliance was nothing to understate. She glowed brighter than even the sun- brighter than Apollo, too. Persephone was beautiful, and she was even more so shrouded in Hades’ world of night sky.

‘I would have preferred you let me fall,’ she returned. The defiance had not lasted. Hades gripped her mind with his own, crushing it beneath a strong grip until she was knelt on the ground, touching the tips of his feet with outstretched arms. Compliant. Yielding.

This was when Hades knelt to her, whispering to her a sweet nothing. ‘I should do this to you someday, my queen. Lay myself down for you. Submit beneath your will.’ He hummed, standing, and telling her to do the same. She did.

They had remained in the ballroom after their dance, after Persephone’s near-plummet to everlasting torment and despair. Demeter was correct in telling her daughter of the lord’s eyes- of how looking into to them meant losing every piece of yourself if it were as Hades wished. The man was wretched, despicable, terrible. And he loved the Goddess of Spring.

Now Persephone sat alone in the room, considering an escape, but knowing she could never achieve one. This world Hades possessed worked against her in any way that might have revealed Perse was trying to get away, trying her hand at rebelliousness. Even simply shifting in the throne she sat on led to branches of thorns stretching out into her vision- a threat to her to stay seated. Hades didn’t even trust her to wander the ballroom, which as she viewed it, had no escape anyhow- no doors or windows. And even if there were an opening, she would only fall into an endless amount of matter made of fire.

Perse touched the arm of the- not her- throne, looking at the thorns. She could make flowers bloom in their place, or perhaps beside them. In an instant, she conjured every visual of flowers belonging to thorn bushes: roses, blackberries, black raspberries, flowering quince, chickasaw plum, elderberry, black chokeberry.

There were many flowering plants with thorns, but the one she considered most was this; pokeweed- or nightshade as many knew it. So what if it were not much of a flower? Every part of the plant was likely to cause death if one consumed enough. What was the likelihood of Hades knowing that? Would he even be naïve enough to pick berries from Persephone’s throne if she decided to grow them? It was worth a shot, wasn’t it?

The throne blossomed with pink-red stems which developed green berries. Over the course of minutes, some of the berries ripened, but not all. It was part of Perse’s strategy to do this. Hades would pick two or three of the ripened fruits, then Persephone could tell him the green ones were just as good to eat- hence why she left so many.

Her plan was well thought out and the throne did not object to her enchantment. The Goddess of Spring took this as a sign that Hades didn’t understand at all how dangerous this was.

As she waited, Persephone took the time to look at the rest of the room, particularly the checkered floor which nearly swallowed her perhaps an hour ago. She hated that floor almost more than the dark lord who pulled her out of it. What would happen if she stepped onto it now? If she managed to escape the throne, she imagined the floor would fall through as soon as her lightweight touched it. What would Hades do then? Would he save his queen for a second time? Probably. He would likely never let her go.

It was as she thought this that Perse jumped at the King of the Underworld’s sudden image in the centre of the room. Swallowing, she tilted her chin up, as if she were superior to the dark lord- and she was. As terrified as Persephone was, she would hold her own weight.

“Very gorgeous, my queen.” Hades admired her throne from afar before stepping further. “Nightshade, yes? I think you have proven your place even further in my court. Does Demeter understand just how dark her daughter, the goddess of Spring, is?”

He knew.

Persephone crunched a fist and let the berries dwindle and fall to the ground in her defeat. Of course Hades would know of nightshade. How could she assume that the lord of the Underworld wouldn’t know about poisoned berries? So many mortals had fallen prey to them or used them as killing agents themselves. Hades was likely experienced in every method of death, which meant Persephone had no hope.

“No need to kill them. Their colour is unique to my realm. Keep them.”

Her chin became even more angled. “No.”

Hades chuckled, coming closer and closer to her. The floor remained intact beneath his feet unlike it would if Perse stepped on it. “Your defiance will fade someday, my dear. And when it does, you will find yourself happy you stayed.”

She gritted her teeth. “You say it as if I had a choice. I chose to die.” Instinctively, now, she glanced at her charcoaled legs. The horror of the moment remained, from being grasped by the ankles by light-eating souls, and Persephone could hear her own screams. It was dreadful, but she still preferred physical torment over- over whatever this was in the ballroom. Being bound to a throne of thorns and talked to like a pet by Hades…it was worse than any fate.

“But you chose me over being turned to stone. That sounds like choosing life- a life with me.”

“You are God of the Underworld. You are Death itself.”

“So, you chose death over stone. What point are you attempting to make anymore, I wonder.”

Persephone fell silent. Her point was that she did not choose Hades, but…well, he was right. In the moment the lord mentioned Medusa, she had been more terrified of her than him. She looked into his eyes, even if by accident in terror.

Hades walked up the dais and held a hand out to Persephone. “I could grow berries in your stomach,” she said. Persephone looked at his offered hand then almost to his eyes. It wouldn’t matter if she looked into his eyes now; Perse was already under his control. Still, Persephone liked to pretend she never looked to begin with. Especially in moments like these where Hades allowed her own free will.

“And you may.”

Now, she did look. It seemed shocking statements were a sure-fire way to gain Perse’s full attention. “What do you- why? Why would you allow me to?”

The lord smiled at her, poison shining on his teeth. “What did you call me just moments ago, my love?”

God of the Underworld. Death itself. The realization tugged at her throat and she whispered, “You cannot die, can you?”

His smile widened. Persephone’s stomach knotted.

“Take my hand, my queen. Our dinner is ready.”

******

Part 3 here

(Tag list: @nuttynutcycle @igotthesmellofbooks @revrevrew-personal) I will probably make this a series if it becomes requested again.

#request fill #continuation #persephone and hades #greek #greek mythology #greek story

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deborahdeshoftim5779 · 3 years ago

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Merlin & Arthur’s friendship: clichés versus reality (Part II)

Following on from Merlin & Arthur’s friendship: clichés versus reality Part I, here is part II.

CLAIM #3: Arthur *constantly* denied that Merlin was his friend

This claim assumes that Arthur was 1)- serious when he did deny being friends with Merlin and 2)- unwilling to change that viewpoint.

Arthur had no need to either deny or admit to being friends with Merlin. Even when he said in episode 2x13 that, “I know I’m a Prince, so we can’t be friends,” the implication is that he does want to be friends. After all, he was insisting that Merlin confide in him. This pattern would repeat in many episodes to come.

Bear in mind that Arthur has described other people as friends, too. This includes people we never saw onscreen. A clear example comes from episode 5x05, when Arthur was so moved with grief by Sir Ranulf’s death that he personally led a collection of knights to bring the sorcerer Osgar to justice. He explained to Gwen that “...he was a friend. We knew each other as boys.”

So why would Arthur have trouble admitting that Merlin was his friend? The viewpoint that being more arrogant and prejudiced in the earlier seasons, Arthur would not admit to friendship with a servant, does not hold as much water as some think. As early as episode 2x05, Arthur called Merlin a “true friend”, because he (mistakenly) thought that Merlin was criticising Lady Catrina on his behalf.

Admittedly, the best examples of Arthur accepting Merlin as a friend come from Seasons 4 and 5.

In episode 4x01, Merlin said, “I always thought that if things hadn’t been different, we’d have been good friends.” Arthur’s response? “Yeah.” During the crucial episode 4x03, Merlin sat outside the throne room all right, facing a crossroads between the end of his dreams and remaining loyal to the king. Of course, Arthur had no idea about this, but he appreciated the gesture. “You are a loyal friend, Merlin.” In episode 4x05, Arthur called Merlin “old friend”, which is self-explanatory.

It’s also worth noting that even after claiming in episode 4x05 that he didn’t need friends, when Merlin later said, “I’m your friend!”, Arthur did not disagree.

Now, I could cite the example of episode 4x07, where Arthur said to Merlin, “I’ve had my heart broken once today. I don’t want to lose another friend.” Self-explanatory. But was this proof of their friendship? No. Arthur was essentially threatening to end his friendship with Merlin if the latter continued criticising Agravaine. Later, in episode 4x11, Arthur again threatened to banish Merlin for the second time (thus ending their friendship) if he accused Agravaine of treason again. This once again shows how Arthur associated loyalty with family first.

One of the best examples comes from episode 4x13: “I came back because you’re the only friend I have, and I couldn’t bear to lose you.” Is Merlin Arthur’s only friend? No. However, out of all Arthur’s friends, Merlin was his best friend, and losing almost everyone and everything else made him realise that yet again.

Then we have all the actions which prove Arthur considered Merlin as a friend.

For example relied on Merlin’s opinion, as Princess Mithian rightly observed in episode 4x11. “One thing I’ve learned since being here is that Arthur values your opinion above almost all others.”

He complained about Merlin’s periods of silence and broodiness, like in episode 3x05: “Come on: I’m missing your usual prattle!” In episode 3x09, after noting that Merlin was upset, he said, “For goodness’ sake, what is your problem?”

Another example comes from episode 5x01, where Arthur noted Merlin sitting outside the camp and took the time to find out why he was “so upset”.

The example from episode 5x05 is self-explanatory: “Seriously, I haven’t seen you smile these past three days.” Arthur relies on Merlin’s cheerfulness to remain optimistic, because he faces the constant threat of death. Notice that shortly after Merlin’s sombre mood, Arthur stopped dismissing Osgar’s warnings about The Disir.

As if this were not enough, look at Arthur spending downtime with Merlin. A great example comes from episode 3x04, where Arthur decides on “a nice, cold tankard of mead” after hunting. In episode 3x13, both were sitting on the courtyard steps discussing the future of the kingdom. Even despite his strenuous denials and ingratitude in episode 4x05, you can see Arthur gesture for Merlin to sit down the morning after they captured Caerleon.

What about all the hunting trips? Arthur knows that Merlin hates hunting (in fact, he takes pleasure in this fact), yet still brought him along, as episodes 1x13, 3x04, 4x11, 5x03, and 5x11 show.

By far my favourite example comes from episode 5x12, when Arthur and Merlin were playing dice at the tavern. (I don’t know iwhat this game was called.) In my view, this happened regularly. Why else would the common people watch and laugh while Merlin poked fun at their king? (Percival’s face was classic.) And why was Arthur playing against Merlin? When did Merlin learn how to play dice? Who taught him? When?

Obviously, I do not know, but it’s worth asking.

Despite being speechless after Merlin “won” the game, Arthur let Merlin “win” all of his money. (Clearly, Arthur was the better player: “Feel free to retire at any time.” The king only used theatrics to get the right dice roll, while Merlin cheated with magic each time. If Merlin hadn’t “coughed”, then Arthur would have rolled correctly a second time. Hence why Arthur said beforehand, “Enjoy this moment, Merlin… while it lasts.”)

Look at Arthur, who was dressed in a plain shirt, rather than his armour and cloak. When we put this scene in conjunction with episode 3x04, where Arthur again wore plain clothes, we can see that he enjoyed these moments of normality. “There’s no better place to measure the mood of your people than the local tavern… I’m just a simple peasant like everybody else.”

So where is this strenuous denial? Nowhere. Arthur never constantly denied that Merlin was his friend. Nor did he only admit this in secret, otherwise the great dice scene in episode 5x12 would never have happened. Sure, the people might have been astonished to see their great king playing against a servant, but they must also have known that if Arthur allowed himself to be “beaten” at a game by his servant, the latter must be his friend.

CLAIM #4: Merlin was usually/always (in the) right

Wrong. Being right most of the time does not mean being right all of the time. Merlin failed to realise this, and consequently made grievous errors throughout the series. The most grievous errors came when he tried to fight against death. Episode 3x05 shows this; all of the grief and pain suffered by Arthur, Gwen, and Uther stemmed from Merlin mortally injuring Morgana in a bid to prevent her from killing the king.

He effectively ignored the warning to “use what you see for good.”

Then we have the example to end all examples; Merlin’s recklessness, presumptuousness, bold-faced hypocrisy, coldness, prejudice, and most of all, jealousy towards Sir Mordred.

Even as early as episode 1x08, Merlin almost let the boy Mordred die on account of a prophecy. At least back then he questioned it before hiding in bed like a coward. Mordred also blamed Merlin for Uther’s carnage in episode 2x11, though in the case of that episode and episode 2x03, I think Merlin’s actions were no worse than presumptuous.

It gets far worse in episode 5x02, when Merlin yelled, “You should have killed him!”, to which Arthur rightly said, “What is wrong with you?” Mordred saw that he could not jump across the gorge, so he surrendered and walked away. (He probably knew that Arthur would arrive in Ismere soon, as his later conversation with Morgana demonstrates.)

Later on, Arthur gave Merlin another strange look after Merlin said, “I told you, you should have killed him when you had the chance.” How could someone usually so compassionate insist on executing a man who stopped threatening them?

Remember how Merlin reacted to Arthur killing Caerleon in episode 4x05, despite having plenty of evidence that Caerleon was a threat to Arthur’s life?

By the way, episodes 5x01 and 5x02 are my favourite examples of Merlin being horrendously wrong. Other episodes include 5x05, and the crucial errors he made in episode 5x11. (I watched most of episode 5x11 last Sunday, and I was floored. It shook me more than 5x12 and 5x13, which I had also been avoiding for years.)

Going back to episodes 5x01 and 5x02 (because episode 5x11 is too depressing): if Arthur had listened to Merlin’s “advice”, he would have abandoned his knights to a slow death in slavery. He would also have committed murder, simply on Merlin’s say-so. If you kill someone who is defenceless and has surrendered, that is murder-- regardless of whether, like Merlin, you are desperately scared of a prophecy and speaking without thinking.

Also, if Arthur had rushed back to Camelot on Merlin’s say-so, he might well have been assassinated by Ruadan.

Most of all, almost everything that Merlin “advised” violated Arthur’s core beliefs-- the very beliefs that made Merlin respect Arthur in the first place. It’s astonishing that Arthur had to explain no less than five times that he would never abandon any of his men, otherwise he would be abandoning his own values and the values that built Camelot.

So desperate is Merlin to fight against death that he either quietly ignores this advice, or claims he agrees, only to try dissuading Arthur later on.

Just to be clear: I perfectly understand that beneath all Merlin’s horrible advice and prevarication, he does not want to lose his friend.

However, just watch Merlin’s marvellous inconsistency throughout episode 5x01. First, he plays Devil’s Advocate by asking Arthur, “Do you really think Gwaine and Percival could still be alive?” Arthur says he has to find out, because they are knights of Camelot. Merlin says, “I understand.” Of course he did.

Bear in mind that this happened before Merlin learned of the prophecy. Some have therefore asked what made Merlin unwilling to look for the missing knights, who were his friends.

In Annis’ castle, Merlin said, “I’m not sure we should go to Ismere.” On the other hand, Arthur, acting on reliable information that Morgana had rounded up slaves, took this as a sign that his mission was right. Merlin tried arguing, then gave up. One might assume that after two rational explanations, Merlin would see reason, particularly since even Kilgharrah could not confirm that the fated battle would take place.

But no. After the knights left Annis’ lands, Merlin complained again that Morgana was “powerful… dangerous.” So, Arthur explained yet again that “no matter what lies ahead of me, I won’t abandon them.” Merlin respected this answer, because he said, “I understand. I wish I didn’t-- but I do.” (Why does he wish he did not understand why Arthur would risk his life for all of his soldiers?)

But the very next day, after the ambush, Merlin turned to rage: “The two of us against Morgana, are you mad?” He tried stopping Arthur from going any further. So Arthur explained himself again. Consequently, Merlin continued following Arthur.

The very same night, he once again insisted that, “We have to turn back.” Arthur explained himself yet again, and Merlin promised to “protect you or die at your side.”

Which one is it? Not to mention that in episode 5x02, instead of apologising for his carelessness, Merlin said, “And I told you to go back to Camelot.” This is silly, given that Arthur had already refused to return on numerous occasions until he had rescued his men, assuming they were still alive.

The most hilarious example comes later, when Merlin says, “We can’t let them hand us over to Morgana: we need to get out of here, we need a plan.” But when Arthur comes up with that plan, what does Merlin say? “You’ve got to be joking!”, “You should have killed him!”, “Next time, we might not be so lucky.”, “We’ll never make it in there.”, and “How did you talk me into this?”

Again, which one is it?

I know why Merlin behaved this way, of course. However, there’s a difference between the noble goal of protecting your friend, and ignoring everything and everyone else in order to reach that goal-- particularly through controlling means. Throughout the series, Merlin’s biggest fault comes from his controlling tendencies, which always backfire. And he never learns.

In this way, Merlin shackled Arthur with unrealistic expectations about a Golden Age based on prophecies that he could not verify. Somehow, this Golden Age had now become evading Arthur’s death. He wanted Arthur to share that belief. Worse, even while his motives came from a noble goal, he treated other people as expendable.

Another example of Merlin’s absurd reasoning comes from the fateful episode 5x05. Putting aside the fact that Merlin tried claming that sentencing Mordred to die was an acceptable price to pay “for Camelot”, he also previously claimed that, “I do care. About who you are, Arthur. Who you are destined to become.”

This makes zero sense, given that Arthur had already taken the throne and “brought peace to the kingdom” (episode 5x03). What more did he have to achieve? It depends on who you ask: bringing back magic, uniting the five kingdoms, eternal peace, avoiding the prophecy about Mordred, bowing to the Triple Goddess, being the greatest king this land has ever known…

Can you see how unrealistic this is? Moreover, can you see how Merlin used Arthur as a vehicle of his own unrealistic ambitions? This is why the Golden Age never happened: it was a myth. It allowed the Druids, Gaius, Kilgharrah, etc. to live vicariously through the new king.

Bringing back magic was impossible while Morgana continued using it for great evil. (And the Triple Goddess, who complained about Arthur persecuting sorcery, allowed Morgana to continue that evil conduct.)

Arthur did take considerable steps to uniting the kingdoms, particularly when he signed a treaty with King Odin in episode 5x04. But eternal peace? Impossible, otherwise episodes 5x01 and 5x02 would not have happened.

The unbiquitous prophecy about Mordred was never backed by evidence, leaving Merlin in a state of constant paranoia, and causing him to make horrible errors. This despite the fact that, by his own admission, “I like him [Mordred] myself.” [1]

Bowing to the Triple Goddess was nothing but blackmail using Mordred’s life as a bargaining chip. This once again shows how many sorcerers had caused chaos and misery. Remember, this same Triple Goddess used torture techniques such as controlling people’s minds using the Fomorroh, as Morgana explained in episode 4x06.

While I believe that the persecution of peaceful sorcerers was wrong, Arthur had no quarrel with the Druids (episode 5x11), and he still had good reason for banning sorcery (also explained in episode 5x11). Nobody, not even Merlin, gave him a reason to change his mind. Kara definitely did not, for she wasn’t executed for being a Druid: she was executed for murder and attempted murder.

As for being the greatest king this land had ever known… Well, Arthur appreciated that statement in episode 4x12. However, when Merlin spoke of the greatest kingdom in the world in episode 4x13, Arthur said, “You’re making this up.”

In episode 5x01, Merlin claimed that, “Arthur, without you, Camelot is nothing.” Arthur disagreed, saying that abandoning his men was worse than surviving Morgana. Even in episode 5x04, Arthur accepted his death. “So be it. But understand this, Odin: you kill me, and you’ll have all of Camelot to answer to.” Odin was astonished that a king could have such confidence in the face of death.

The most important example comes from episode 5x13. Merlin said the same thing about Camelot being nothing without Arthur, to which the dying king said, “There was a time when that was true. Not now. There are many who can fill the crown.” And of course, he gave the royal seal to Gwen. Can anyone argue with this?

I guess you could say that Arthur didn’t believe his own hype.

Indeed, Arthur felt satisfied about what he had achieved in his life. “Everything you’ve done, I know now. For me, for Camelot. For the kingdom you helped me build.” (Episode 5x13). That was it. Arthur knew that he had changed Camelot for the better, that Merlin killing his half-sister had brought “peace at last”, and that he owed Merlin an unpayable debt for helping him to achieve all of these goals.

Why did Arthur accept the certainty of his death for so long? Because he believed his cause was right, and his death would help save the lives of thousands in Camelot. Dying in service to Camelot was his real destiny. It was inevitable, and to him, it was the most honourable act he would ever undertake.

You cannot know how great you will be until you die. “That’s the way things work, I’m afraid. You get the glory when you’re not around to appreciate it.” (Episode 4x06). At that point, you will never see your legacy. Merlin either did not know that, or he did not want to know it.

Arthur’s death ultimately serves as the greatest evidence that Merlin was wrong the whole time.

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART III

FOOTNOTES

[1] I don’t doubt that Merlin liked Mordred. In fact, the scene in episode 5x05, where Merlin buried Osgar, shows how difficult it was for him to maintain his mistrust when the druid was so polite and perceptive. So why the contradiction? Why claim you like someone, yet insist that they would commit regicide? The answer is that Merlin used the prophecy as an excuse. In fact, his prejudice against Mordred had more to do with jealousy than the prophecy. After being involved in an attempt to trade Arthur and Merlin as slaves to Morgana, Arthur knighted the druid for one noble act. Did Merlin aspire to be a knight? I don’t know. He definitely wanted that same level of trust and respect given to Mordred, though, and knighthood created a bond that a servant could not have.

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ithebookhoarder · 4 years ago

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Your sleepy head canons for the SW trio were adorable! Can I pretty please ask what the original star wars babies would be like with a sick reader? I just need some cuteness in my life right now and I'm rewatching the movies so yeah...

A/N: Um, yes you can! One fluffy dose of OG star wars coming up.

Star Wars (Head-canons): Dealing with a sick reader

Masterlist:

Han:

This man is a marshmallow on the inside, even if years alone in the smuggling game has ensured that it’s deeply hidden away beneath that stoicism and devil-may-care attitude.

You are one of the only people in the entire galaxy he lets see his softer side, whether it’s his casual affection during the day on the Falcon, or his little thoughtful gestures like fetching you caff when you’re flying or working your ass off on repairs.

It’s why he’s actually rather sweet to you when you’re sick, ordering Chewie to take over whatever you were meant to be doing so you can get some rest.

“Han. I’m fine. It’s just a sniffle. I’ll live.”

“I know that, princess, but I don’t need you breaking my ship because you’re too busy coughing and sneezing to see what wires you’re tinkering with.”

You laugh, knowing his sass is his way of hiding the worry that’s brewing inside of him at the sight of you coughing and spluttering around the place. So, you surrender your tools to him and allow him to help you back to your quarters. It’s that or letting him drag you there over his shoulder, like some kind of deranged caveman.

Once you get to your room, you half expect him to leave you there to fend for yourself, but you’re surprised to see him hovering around you, already working out a list of supplies.

“You should lie down. I’ll grab ya some of that fancy tea you like so damn much.”

“Thanks, hon.”

“Do you need anything else? What about some more blankets? Some pillows? I can grab Chewie’s. He doesn’t need it-“

Who knew Han Solo could be such a secret mother hen?

Turns out, with all his travels, he knows a thing or two about fending off a cold. It’s actually rather cute.

You’re too busy trying not to laugh to say no as he hurries about the place and effectively builds you a nest in your shared quarters. He’s also glued to your side, leaving his Wookie first mate in charge while he sees to your every need, even if it’s just holding you while you sleep off whatever it is that’s taken you down.

“I told you you needed a better coat on that planet but nooo your stubborn ass said you didn’t need one.”

“Han. Stop. I didn’t catch this cold there.”

“Where else would you have caught it?”

“Things just happen. It’s ok.”

Han definitely doesn’t think it’s ok, but he doesn’t want to tire you out for arguing over something dumb. You’re just as stubborn as he is and arguments between you two have been known to go on for days sometimes.

Instead, he agrees to disagree for now. As long as you rest and get better then everything else doesn’t matter.

However, the next time you plan to leave the ship he just so happens to be waiting by the ramp, a thick, chunky coat in his hand. And a hat. And gloves.

He grins and presses a kiss to your frowning face as you waddle out, almost suffocating but willing to endure for his sake and as a thank you for all his care the past week.

You also make a mental note to repay the favour next time he gets a little under the weather. You’re sure Chewie would enjoy the sight of his captain haggling with clients, while swaddled in knitwear.

Luke:

Coming from a desert planet, Luke doesn’t know too much about handling things like colds. He’s more used to handling dehydration, sunburn, malnutrition or even the odd blaster wound or two from Jawas.

However, once joining the Rebellion, he learns pretty quickly after being struck down with surprising regularity. He’s an old friend to colds and other conditions common on other planets and in space.

That’s actually how he meets you, always being ordered to stop by the Med Bay by Leia the minute he starts sneezing.

“I don’t need you spreading the plague, Luke,” she sighs, ushering him over to you and ordering him to let you take care of him. “You may be some mighty Jedi but even Jedis get sick.”

You actually enjoy getting to spend time with Luke when he’s sick, and sharing your knowledge about cures and ways to avoid catching diseases in the first place. Luke also enjoys listening to you, admiring how clever you are and how kind, and careful, you are when handling patients.

Thus, when you eventually get sick, he’s only too eager to return the favour. It’s time for him to take care of you, even if he knows you’re perfectly capable of doing it yourself.

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should, Y/N. Let me help you. Please?”

You smile, agreeing as he takes up residence at your bedside for the next few days. Turns out, he actually has a tender bedside manner, and is incredibly good at keeping you distracted when you get fed up of being on bedrest.

He’s also incredibly aware of changes in mood or your condition, sensing them through the force before you even do. Hence why he’s by your side the moment you take a bad turn, despite him being half way across the base for training.

If he’s out of breath then that’s just a coincidence cause nooooo, he didn’t run here. No. He was right outside and just so happened to be coming in when you needed him most.

“Luke? What the-?”

“Here. I brought soup and some more pain killers from the med bay.”

You take his offerings, grinning in delight as the smell of food hits your nose. “Hmm, my saviour.”

His smile is the cutest thing you’ve ever seen as is his blushing cheeks. “I’m just taking care of you. Who else is going to nurse me back to health next time I’m the one who’s sick?”

“Anything for my favourite farm-boy.”

“Your farm-boy.”

His kiss as he settles in bed beside you is almost enough to make you feel better all on its own.

Leia:

Like mother, like daughter, this woman is a public servant. She may also be a workaholic, but she has her priorities in order and you come before whatever meetings or plans she has for the day.

In fact, the first time you got sick and didn’t tell her, she was hurt. It was C3-PO that had outed you, saying something about you being in your rooms and unable to join in the meeting scheduled that morning when asked where you were. (You knew you shouldn’t have trusted that golden tin can)

Leia had been on you in seconds, bursting in your room and yelling at you for a whole hour about how stupid it was to suffer in silence.

“We have medical staff, Y/N, for this exact reason! You’d rather lie here in pain, suffering, when you could have called someone? Or even me? Don’t tell me you’ve been around Han too much, Maker knows I don’t need two stubborn idiots on this base.”

“I love you too, Your Majesty.”

“Shut up or I’ll tell threepio to come and watch you.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

She would dare, but you were more than happy to put up with the lecture, however, given that she was busy wiping at your brow and tucking you in whilst yelling. That, and you had enough of a headache without threepio making worse.

It felt rather surreal to think you had royalty waiting on you hand and foot - even if Leia would have yelled again if you said that to her face. She loved you more than anything and made sure to tell you at least once a day. She wasn’t just a princess, she was your partner and that was all that mattered.

Needless to say, you’d learnt your lesson; whenever you got sick again, you made sure to let Leia know you weren’t feeling great.

That way she could make sure to keep an eye on you, or assign someone to do so when she was dragged from your side for some super urgent meeting she couldn’t avoid any longer.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Leia. Go. You’re needed. I can survive an hour or so without you, but we all know this base won’t if you don’t get your ass over to mission control.”

“You have a good point.”

You chuckle as she steals a kiss before hurrying off to her duties. By the time you wake up from your nap, she’s back again and curled up next to you, watching you out of the corner of her eye whilst she works on the pad in her lap.

She also sings you little lullabies when you’re sick and can’t sleep. They’re all songs her parents sang to her whenever she got sick as a kid. That alone makes you feel better, sharing something so private with her.

Long story short, you may hate being sick, but you don’t hate being sick with Leia around to love and care for you.

#star wars #Star Wars fanfic #star wars imagine #star wars headcanons #princess leia x reader #leia x reader #leia organa #luke skywalker x reader #Luke Skywalker #han solo x reader #Han Solo #masterlist #ithebookhoarder #request #prompt #answered #EPIV #star wars x reader #han x reader

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fayeimara · 4 years ago

Text

Meant To Be Series || One For Every Billion

Episode 3. Angel's Blessing | Pt 1

Your weeks in Miyagi flew by so fast, you're a little sad that you'll shortly be heading to stay with your aunt and uncle in Tokyo soon. It didn't feel like you'd spent nearly enough time with Toshi. You'd also had only a couple days to visit Tobio and Miwa, your cousins from your mom's side that also lived in Miyagi, but you didn't realize it wouldn't be nearly enough time. You'd had to promise him, Miwa, and their parents that you would stay with them the next time you visited.

You had a little over a week left here and Toshi and the guys from Shiratorizawa had just started their summer break so it was the perfect excuse to make the most of your time left while taking them out to celebrate. You'd gotten to know them well during your stay, with constant drop ins to their practices - You could swear even Coach Washijo had warmed up to you! ...or maybe just gotten used to tolerating your presence.

You'd also spent a lot of time chilling with the guys on their time off but that was usually chilling indoors playing video games at one of their places or stopping by cute little shops. Toshi, Tendou, and Semi had even come shopping with you a couple times which was a hilarious circus in itself but you repaid the laughs you got by torturing them and buying them gifts. Although you didn't realize it wasn't quite regular at first but they got used to it... well, at the very least Semi stopped getting flustered and just let you have your way.

It's not like you couldn't afford it and when you said that to his face, he literally just rolled his eyes and said something about rich kids which you threw back in his face because... hypocritical! At least you had your own hard-earned money, but you just refused to tell him how and why it was still so much and you think he was kind of concerned now.

Regardless, you'd be leaving soon and you really wanted a special night to commemorate this trip and your new friendships so you told the guys that you all were having a nice dinner somewhere, your treat. They protested that at first but you stood firm and finally they picked the nice sushi restaurant you were headed to for dinner tonight.

Hence, you out here in a chic semi-formal outfit, which is basically a cute dress and flats with a couple layered necklaces and matching bracelets on each wrist.

"Y/n!" You're standing with Toshi and Tendou, already outside the restaurant when you hear your name. Looking over, you see Semi, Yamagata and Soekawa walk up to the three of you.

"Thank you so much for offering to treat us tonight!" Soekawa says as they reach you.

Semi's scowling like usual but he sounds relaxed when he adds, "Yeah, although it really should be us treating you."

You laugh and shake your head, "No way! I'm just so glad to have made great friends like you guys here, how can I not want to celebrate our friendship before I leave?"

"I wish you could stay." Yamagata's looking down both literally and figuratively, "You could come to Shiratorizawa and we could chill all the time like we have been."

"Aw, you'll still have me!" Tendou exclaims with his arms up in the air. He's moving towards Yamagata, who dodges before he replies.

"We see you every day! It's not the same, she's actually nice and doesn't always poke fun at us for every little thing!"

You giggle at them because their dynamic is great, yeah, but what you think he really means without saying it is that all these boys need is some platonic estrogen in their lives.

Tendou narrows his eyes at you when he hears though and you think he knows you well enough to know you're amused at their expense so you're ready for his move.

"Hmm..." He pretends to think, "Maybe if we kidnap her, she'd miss her train to Tokyo and have to stay here longer!"

Before he even finishes his sentence, he's running at you and you're embarrassed to say you shriek in surprise before spinning to run away, calling over your shoulder, "It doesn't work that way! I'd just get on a train the next day!"

Too bad you're not watching where you're going because you run right into a wall in your path. Just a metaphor this time because this wall stumbles back with a soft 'oof-' as its arms reach out to wrap around and steady you while you fall over together.

Oh my god, you just ran into, and took down, chocolate boy- you mean chocolate eyes. Wait, no- "Oikawa!" His name slips from your lips in disbelief as you look up at his face and then your face turns to what you're betting is a very embarrassed shade of red - and for too many different reasons, oh god.

He's a little stunning stunned but you think that's from the fall so you can't fault him when he responds, "Angel?"

Tendou's standing right by the two of you and you swear this boy really doesn't know how not to tease in an already pretty embarrassing situation because he just has to say, "So.. Y/n. Getting up off of our rival anytime soon?"

"I'm so sorry!" You blurt out again as you carefully try to move off him without using him as leverage since, you know, he just took the brunt of a fall that was your fault for the both of you. You also don't want to embarrass yourself any further by accidentally placing your hands anywhere intimate inappropriate.

His arms only release slightly and he's already sitting up while you're kind of maneuvering your limbs to find purchase on the ground around and in between him so you end up basically straddling his leg and your faces too close for comfort in that split second before you stand back up. And you never want to think of this again. Like if there was ever a time for a hole to open up and swallow anyone into oblivion it would be now and that person should be you.

He's way nicer than you would have expected from a pretty boy though because he just laughs brightly as he stands too, "No need to apologize! I think we reversed and I was just the one in the way this time."

"No, this one wasn't you at all. I'm really sorry, Oikawa."

Another voice chimes in, quite seriously, "Dropped the honorific already, Y/n? And that's the second time in minutes.. I wasn't aware you met more than that one time."

Even Semi is teasing you?! He almost got you for a second, his voice was perfectly serious, you only realized because you noticed the glint in his eyes when you looked over to make excuses. So instead you.. still make an excuse.

"I didn't grow up with this? It's pretty normal to use someone's name without honorifics back home!"

"Hmm." He looks like he'll drop it, but oh my gosh, Yamagata picks up the let's make fun of Y/n game by throwing back, "I don't know Y/n, you've had no trouble fitting in like a local for weeks. Seems suspect."

You look to Toshi for support but he's silent and just calmly looking back at you.

What. Is. This.

Even Iwa and the other friend behind Oikawa are various degrees of amused. Like. What?

You can't look at him, but you'll make it worse if you don't so you literally use all your remaining dignity to turn your probably flushed face back to Oikawa and all your control to keep a serious, sincere expression before trying to apologize again.

"Please ignore them, they were just telling me how nice I am since I don't tease them when they're down but apparently not enough to return the favour. Anyways, I hope you can accept my apology." No way are you saying his name again, because whether you use the honorific or not now, either option will just get you teased more.

You finally manage to look into his eyes again and that's when you realize that you're not the only one that's incredibly flustered. Like, he is too? Did he hit his head when the two of you fell? And.. has he just been staring at you this whole time?? Oh god, you're wearing a dress! Are you somehow flashing yourself?? The guys would tell you right? You quickly run your hands down the flared skirt to check without looking and making your consternation obvious, but no, everything seems in place.

He clears his throat, catching your attention again, and then there's a smile on his face, maybe more like a smirk, "That's okay, really... Now we can make it up twice."

Suddenly, your embarrassment is forgotten and you're smiling back. How can you not? You had said that back then because, what were the chances, really? So you definitely hadn't expected that cute moment with a cute boy to mean anything and yet here you are.

"Okay, yeah, sure." You lightly laugh out your words, because you're a little unsure about your coming offer but you're still about to go for it. "I'm treating these guys tonight so, if you and your friends would like to, you're welcome join us. If you think that might be enough to make up for running you over this time."

He's a little taken aback and shaking his head, "I can't let you treat me."

"Why?"

He blinks like he doesn't understand, "We both have to make it up to each other anyways, right? So that wouldn't make sense-"

"But we'll join you." His friend Iwa cuts him off as he steps forward, "We're celebrating his birthday tonight anyways and it'll be nice to have some buffers for his stupid."

Aw, his pout from last time is back and he's actually whining, "Iwaa, you're so mean to mee. And on my birthday?"

"Ohh goodie, this will be fun!" Tendou is literally the heart eyes emoji now but you think it's from the thought of all the fun he'll have torturing so many different people tonight.

"Yes. We have a table booked because we were unsure how busy it would be." Toshi adds, "I will inquire as to increasing our reservation."

It seems Oikawa's realized that he's going to be having dinner with his enemy and honestly looks a little sour about it but then you catch his eye again and he sees the smirk on your face. He tilts his head as he studies you because maybe he's only just realizing you're not such an 'angel'. No, you're definitely more a devil, it's probably why you and Tendou get along so great.

Either way, it looks like he's made his choice because he gestures for everyone to head into the restaurant after Toshi and now there's nine of you instead of the original six.

As you wait, you're properly introduced to Iwa - who is actually Iwaizume - Hanamaki, and finally Oikawa, before you introduce yourself. The first two call you by last name, but Oikawa calls you Y/n-chan or even just Y/n and you let it go because who are you to insist on proper etiquette when you're not even from here? Yeah, right, that's your story.

You end up sitting next to him and you think that was definitely manipulated by at least his friends if not also Tendou, who's managed to snag a front row seat right across the two of you.

It's definitely lively with this group and once everyone places their orders, it only gets louder as they all start talking and joking around with each other. For rival schools, they're making a surprising effort to get along, minus Tendou, but you think everyone has mutually decided to ignore his jibes.

"So..." You look over to your right at Oikawa with a bright smile to match his, "I didn't get to say it yet but.. Happy Birthday!"

"Aw thank you Faye-chan! I'm pretty lucky to have an angel wish me.. I have a feeling I'll be blessed for this year - if not the rest of my life!"

Ack, why are you blushing again? Is he genuine, flirty, or right on that line in between that you usually manage?

Probably the last, since you can't tell and you're the master at it. Okay then, fine. Let's play, pretty boy.

"Hm, I guess you didn't know that an angel can only pass blessings through tears or kisses.. if you want a blessed year, you'd have to make your angel cry... or fall in love." You inform him casually, holding eye contact the entire time so you don't miss the widening of his eyes, the colour on his cheeks, and that completely taken aback expression that slides on his face. Yeah, you went there. You have no filter when you're being impulsive but it's not like anyone else is listening either so you can be a little risky.

With a smirk, you finish, "Not just anyone can receive an angel's blessing after all. You'd have to be one of the luckiest guys in the world."

Something slightly shifts across his expression, like he reached a thought or decision you can't read, before he composes it to a conciliatory smile, "Well, then I'll just have to do my best to make sure I don't make sure I don't make you cry."

You get a warm, fuzzy feeling even though you left that opening for him, because that's a pretty sweet implication to make. You know you're both playing, but you can't help but wish he actually was going to try and make you fall in love.

Your wrists tingle at that thought, like an ever present reminder that fate in love is chosen for anyone who decides to follow that path. You refuse to get sad and melancholy, you've known the multiple markings on your wrist have decided your supposedly perfect matches since the moment you was born.

Unlike others in the world, who either choose to completely follow that path and dedicate themselves to the names etched on their skin or even those that completely oppose the idea of that kind of pre-destined love and shy away from it, you decided long ago that you would be neutral and give your soulmates a chance when you found them. So, you're not exactly available to just anyone, but you're not closed off to options, especially given that you're a little on the rarer side given the number of names currently hidden on your skin.

You don't realize you're adjusting the bracelets on your wrist until you notice him watching with a curious look on his face. What are the odds this cute boy you ran into has six currently indecipherable markings on his own skin? He hasn't rolled the sleeves of his shirt up this whole time so you haven't been able to check, if you would have even bothered to before, but by now you have a small, little percent of you that wants to know. It's just considered pretty bold and forward to ask or really keep trying to catch a glimpse of others' marks and even you're not that shameless. Maybe he's among the people that decided to completely ignore his marks?

Okay, now you're a little sad, but it's supposed to be a good night. You can hear the chatter of my and his friends around the two of you, but it feels like, for a moment of mutual quiet between you both, you're in your own little world together, with just each other and your shared thoughts. Or maybe you're just projecting.

You're glad when Iwaizumi distracts him from his other side because you dropped into this rabbit hole in your head so fast, that you're sure you got all weird and quiet and pretty obvious. You look up and see Tendou staring at you with a raised eyebrow and a pretty rare serious look on his face. Aw, he's checking to make sure you're okay. You really hope he didn't hear your conversation, though, because he's been one of your sounding boards on this matter way too much so he needs a break and you just don't want to talk about it.

Thankfully, the food arrives and your mood is back up as you all enjoy the delicious appetizers and variety of sushi that's been prepared for your table. You make Oikawa try a spicy dynamite roll when he admits he hasn't before and Tendou and Semi both keep stealing your gyoza before you can slap their hands away.

You're full well before any of the guys at the table when the topic of your trip comes up.

"Y/n-chan, what did you mean when you said you're not from here earlier?" Oikawa looks over to ask before dipping his last roll into some soy sauce and popping it into his mouth.

"Oh, I'm actually visiting Japan for my summer vacation. I spend my school year in America."

Maki pipes up from across Iwaizumi, "That's a pretty specific way you worded that. You live there?"

You smile happily knowing that he's caught on fast, you're a big fan of how words are used for communication, "I mean, I've spent so much time in different countries with friends and family and am usually travelling when not in school that I actually did mean that how I said it. Technically, I've been living here the past month, haven't I? And the next month, I'll still be living in Japan, only to return home when school's about to start."

"You'll be in Japan, but not Miyagi?" Iwaizumi is holding his green tea, his head tilted like he's trying to read between the lines now that he's realized you mean more than what you typically say.

"Yeah," You fiddle with your chopsticks, lining them up perfectly before looking around the table with a sad smile, "I'm off to stay in Tokyo instead, next week. I'll miss it here, but I'm also looking forward to my next adventures and new friends." You say the last with a smirk aimed at the Shiratowizawa guys who either smirk, whine, or roll their eyes (I see you, Semi) in response. Toshi seems completely unaffected but you know he'll miss you so you're not offended.

"So that's what you were yelling about taking a train before you ran into me." Oikawa states with a smirk while your face gets hot remembering that awkward encounter outside. Didn't you decide you never wanted to think of it again?

"Weren't you the one 'in my way'?" You throw back quickly but he's already shaking his head.

"No, pretty sure you made it clear that one was on you and only you, and who am I to argue with an angel?"

"Oi, shittykawa, stop trying to embarrass her, you're acting like trash." Wow, can you take Iwaizumi everywhere with you? Knight, shining armour.

"Iwa-chan! I think you've already forgotten what day it is again!"

"Yeah, it's the day you're supposed to grow up."

They're going to start bickering again so you think Soekawa is diffusing the tension when he return everyone to the original topic, "It's almost like you grew up here, though, I wouldn't be able to tell you're just visiting since you fit right in."

"Even when you claim not to be familiar with common customs!" Yeah, thanks Yamagata, I'm going to ignore that.

"Well I have a lot of family in Japan. Toshi, of course, and a few other cousins, aunts and uncles in different regions. So I guess it's like a second home for me where I've spent the majority of my breaks when I'm not travelling anywhere else." Soekawa already knew that, as did the rest of the Shiratorizawa guys, so you're just following his lead to keep the peace and share a little more for the others at this point.

"So you come back a lot?" Why is Oikawa asking? You don't want to read too much into it.

"Sure, if I don't have any other obligations, then yeah, I love spending time here."

"Why not just move? You could live here and come to Seijoh!" Aw, Maki's the sweet one in their group.

"If she were to live here, she already knows she should come to Shiratorizawa." Guess who?

Oikawa's reply follows so quick after Toshi's statement, like he just knew where it was going, "Yeah, no. She'd definitely like Aoba Johsai much more."

Ugh, you should have expected this too. The table erupts into a slightly heated debate but you can't fault this rivalry, it gets even worse between the academies back home so this is really oddly polite and low-key in comparison.

You excuse yourself and leave them at it to go wash your hands before dessert arrives and surprise, surprise, who do you bump into on your way back out to the dining room but pretty boy himself. Definitely curious if he was waiting for you for some reason or it's just a coincidence because, you know, people are allowed to use the restrooms when they need to.

"You know, Angel, you promised to make it up to me for running into me earlier."

"I thought we were supposed to make it up to each other?"

"Well.. then, how about we choose what we want from each other to fulfill our promise?"

You hesitate because it seems like he already has something in mind, but you don't think he would ask for anything you wouldn't be okay with. You're caught in his gaze as you take way less time than you probably should to consider his proposition before agreeing, "Well, it is your birthday, I guess. So tell me, how can I make it up to you?"

His smile becomes positively wicked, if you could call it that on a cute teenage boy, "Since I'm hoping for an incredible year and I got it wrong the first time, I'd like to ask for an angel's blessing."

You choose your words carefully, because, is he asking for what you think he is!?

"I don't suppose you want to make me cry?"

He chuckles and it's just a divine sound that rolls right through you, holding you still in this mesmerizing moment, "I'm sure I already said I don't ever want to make my pretty angel cry."

"I'm not your anything, Oikawa."

"Call me Toru, Y/n-chan. You're at least my friend, aren't you?"

You swear he's just stealing your smiles and blushes, because you can't stop the amused pull of your lips and light, warm flush at his playful tone. "I don't know, Oikawa, I don't think friends ask for kisses in return for... small mishaps."

"Well, I think we're friends," he pouts before settling back into an almost serious expression with a confident, sincere smile on his face, "but I'd really like to know what it's like to be the luckiest guy in the world."

"Hmm." You pretend to think it over but you already know your decision because you're so ridiculously charmed by this guy, "Well.. I suppose if it's a birthday wish..."

And before you can overthink it, you cross the step of space between you two, lean up with your hands resting on his chest for balance, and close your eyes before softly gifting him a small kiss on his cheek, right by the corner of his mouth. You must be as reckless as your friends say but you can't help but love the electric feeling that comes with the adrenaline of making bold and risky choices.

You want to look away so badly but you're also stubborn so you force yourself to keep meeting his eyes as you drop back down from your tip toes and pull away slightly. He'd immediately reached for your waist when you stretched up to reach him, as if to help steady you, but you're realizing now that was like some conditioned automatic reaction because he's actually looking frozen in shock and a little disbelief now that you're studying him.

Is he surprised that you actually gave him a kiss in some way, when he asked for it? Wow, you hope he wasn't completely joking around.. you hadn't thought you were reading that wrong. Oops?

His eyes are slightly wide again and mouth a little open like he was about to say something at whatever point he froze- why does he look so cute like this?? What a face he's making.. You smile at him and repeat your wish to him, "Happy birthday.. Toru."

He blinks like he's coming out of a trance, arms gradually dropping back to his sides, and this time, his smile is slow to spread but so sweet and happy. You think for a moment again about the marks on your wrist and wonder.. no. What are the odds?

"Angel, you... I'm really already the luckiest guy, aren't I?" Oh my gosh, why does that make you blush? He sounds incredibly genuine, maybe that's why.

"I guess, as your friend, I'll have to agree." It was supposed to come out sounding playful and careless, but there's a certain tension as you're kind of looking at each other for a moment before you feel the need to get some space from this.. weirdly intimate scene. You start to step backwards, with a friendly smile back on your face, "I'll see you back at-"

"That was my birthday present, right?"

You stop moving and tilt your head in confusion, "...yes?"

He smirks, "So what about 'making it up' once, let alone twice?"

You're pretty sure disbelief is sliding across your face now, "Seriously? I don't just go around giving birthday kisses, what more could you want?"

His laughter is warm and ripples in the space around you, "Don't look so suspicious, angel! The kiss was a birthday gift, we both agreed. But to make it up for running into me earlier, I just think exchanging our socials should be more than enough. We're friends anyways, right?"

"Oh." Okay, now you're a little embarrassed. You guess that's not really a sacrifice and it would be nice to keep in touch with him when you leave. It makes you sad to think you'd never run into or get to talk to this sweet chocolate boy again. "Okay, sure. But here's the thing, Oikawa. That's your request, not mine, so you still have to make it up to me for running into me that first time." You hold your hand up, briefly uncurling your first finger to make your point, before dropping it and tilting your head at him with what you hope is an innocent smile on your face.

He doesn't look thrown off at your challenging retort, so you're pretty sure he's got a feel for your unpredictable nature at this point. Oh well, you're sure you can still keep surprising him if you continue your friendship.

"Feel free to let me know what you want whenever you're ready then, but don't wait too long, Angel. It would break my heart to think I didn't pay off my debt to you."

You laugh off his lighthearted words with your own, "What a heavy word for our deal! Aren't devils the ones that hold debts over you? Pretty sure angels wouldn't ever do something so unkind."

He raises an eyebrow at your playful statement before remarking, "Are you trying to warn me? Pretty sure devils make deals, too, the debt just comes after. Sounds familiar, now that I think about it."

Your mouth drops at his teasing, even though you once again left him that opening, but before you can respond, Tendou finds you both, "Are you guys hiding out here from the rest of us? Sneaking some alone time, hm?"

You roll your eyes, because at this point, there's a lot worse moments he could have walked into that he'd never let you live down so, you're just thanking your own blessings. Toru's actually the one that snarks back something about getting away from him because he's annoying, as you all head back to the table together. That's when you also realize that he didn't head to the men's room so.. he'd been waiting for a moment alone with you.

Was it just about the birthday kiss and both of your 'debts'? Or was there something more left unsaid between you both?

You settle that thought away for later while the two of you quickly exchange your contacts before dessert arrives. Toru offers you his mochi in exchange for trying some of your coffee jelly and you almost give him a bite of your own spoon before you see the blush on his face. See, you do forget some things are still considered more intimate here in Japan than in North America.

He's still about to go for it, leaning towards you and opening his mouth for a bite, when you withdraw your spoon with an embarrassed laugh because, hey, his friends are watching pretty closely. Although, Toshi, Tendou, and even the other Shiratorizawa guys must be pretty used to you slipping on these things around them because it hasn't caught their attention.

You take that bite yourself, savouring the flavour and texture, while grabbing a spare spoon and handing it to him with a look out of the corner of your eyes. He accepts it with the slightest pout, actually looking a little disappointed, but then ends up digging in and finishing the rest of your dessert. He's ignoring your protests, grabbing the cup and turning so he's blocking you as you try to reach around him so you retaliate by taking away the rest of his dessert, which is pretty good too.

You find a moment while the guys are distracted and finishing up to quickly stand and find a staff member in order to cover the dinner before anyone else can do anything about it. When you return, Toshi and Tendou are looking at you, Toshi with a resigned look on his face and Tendou smirking at you. Yes, you're stubborn - these boys know it, some of the others are learning it, and the Seijoh guys will be getting their first taste of it. Pun intended, you guess.

You all stay a little longer before Toshi decides it's time to be heading back so you, him, and Tendou stand while the rest of the guys look at you three like you're missing something.

Iwaizumi's the one to speak up, kind of like he's not sure if you're oblivious, up to something, or that he's missing something, "Uh.. we need to pay the bill."

"Wait, are you serious?" And cue the realization for Semi, but then, he's also spent the most time with you apart from your cousin and bestie here, "Y/n?"

You just smile at him, not wanting to actually upset anyone, while Tendou responds, "I don't know why you look so surprised, Semi-Semi."

The others guys are starting to catch on and protest but it's Toshi who cuts them off, "If it pleases her to have taken care of the bill for us, than we should not disrespect her wishes. Do not throw her gift back in her face or feel indebted, I can guarantee it's no trouble to her and it makes her happy."

"Thanks Toshi!" You hug his arm while looking at the guys, "He's right, I never really agreed with anything when we first discussed it and this was my intention the whole time. I hope you guys enjoyed it and don't let it bother you, because I, for one, am just happy to have had this time tonight with all my new friends."

You swear, even Iwaizumi blushes and Maki actually hugs you. Toru's giving you a narrow-eyed look but he does have a smile on his face so you know he's letting it pass. If you're going to be friends, he'll have to realize that you're not one to stand on formalities or politeness. You do think things through and observe etiquette when necessary but, mostly, you do what you want to when you want to, especially if it means making the people you care about happy.

When you exit into the warm, summer night, you all start to head the same way. Most of the guys have grouped off with Soekawa and Yamagata walking furthest ahead, far enough that you can barely hear their voices, let alone their conversation. Just behind them are Toshi, Tendou, and Semi close enough that you can heard the lilt of their conversation but can't quite catch the words they're saying. Somehow, you and Toru have gravitated together and you think it's done purposefully again, because Iwaizumi and Maki are trailing slowly behind the two of you as if to give a little space too.

Toru is complaining about something Iwaizumi said but it seems like a pretty standard occurrence, their antagonist friendship, so you're just listening to the sound of his voice and appreciating the moment in time. You don't know when, or even if ever, you'll find this sort of relaxed comfort with someone you only barely know. You guess that's why you miss it when he grows a little quiet before asking, "So what's your life like when you're living your school year in America?"

You look up at the sky, thinking over all the thing you might say, and you settle on, "Busy, I guess."

"Hm. Me too, but that's typical, right?"

"Is it? What keeps you so busy?" You're looking over at him now so you see the smile slip on his face while it seems like now he's the one looking at something in the distance.

"I mean, other than school, I'm the setter for Aoba Johsai's volleyball club."

You laugh out loud but explain when he looks a little offended, "No, sorry, it's just, I already knew that!"

"Oh? Keeping tabs on me?"

"No, silly." You reach out to smack his arm and he grabs it like you've hurt him, pouting yet again. "I mean, aren't you and Toshi rivals? Like, everyone here plays volleyball, right?"

"Except for you?" He sounds almost certain, with just the slightest question in his voice when he throws that out there so you smirk, interested to see his reaction.

"I'm the setter, you know. Toshi apparently said once that I could teach you a few things." He whips around to look at you and you can see he's torn between several emotions - definitely curiosity and competitiveness among them.

"You were talking about me?"

"Semi mentioned it to me, I don't know if Toshi has actually ever complimented me on my skills to my face." You laugh a little, thinking about your cousin's quiet, serious, and direct nature. "Wait, no. He definitely has, but I think we were in single digits then. He hasn't seen me play in person for a long time."

"Hm. Well, he does have a good eye for talent."

"Right, like I don't know how much he bugs you about joining his team." You tease lightly, tilting your head so you can look sideways up at him, "Haven't you heard? You should have gone to Shiratorizawa."

He rolls his eyes, matching your tilt with his own to look sideways and down at you, "Don't you start too or we're not friends anymore."

"Aw." You copy his signature pout, "Toru-chaaan, you're so meeaan!"

He's shaking his head in complete disbelief at your silliness but you've got him smiling wide - and slightly blushing - too so you consider it a win.

"We're going to be a really strong team. I wish you could come see me play." There's a pause and you think he's finished but he adds, "You know, when we beat your cousin and his team."

"Hm." You don't agree or disagree, choosing instead to divert, "Or you could see me play and I could teach you that thing or two."

"I wonder." He actually sounds thoughtful and you're kind of glad because it means he's not as conceited as he sometimes acts. You wonder why?

It's almost time to move on, and you're anticipating your goodbye already, "You know, I'm glad we ran into each other."

He looks surprised that you would say that and thrown off because it's not flirty or teasing. You're genuine and sincere in your statement and you're sure that comes across.

"Really?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be? You're a good person to be around, Oikawa. I can tell that from just a couple run ins and a couple hours. I'm happy to call you my friend."

The look he sends you is as undeniably warm, tender, and sweet as it is slightly apprehensive and thoughtful. You don't know why he seems to question his value or worth in some way, but you can tell he appreciates your words, however he decides to accept them.

"I'm glad to have run into you too." It's said softly before he seems to switch back into his confident smirk, "I'm really glad to have received a blessing from a pretty angel like you too."

You're not going to blush, nope. No. You can feel your face heat up so you throw out a random statement to cover your fluster, "Aren't all angels pretty, anyways?"

"You're extra special." He smiles and then adds, "You look especially pretty tonight."

"Uh.. thanks. I mean, it was a celebratory dinner one way or another."

He's still studying you, particularly the bracelets that cover your wrists, so you're not exactly surprised when he reaches out a little, to lift your arm. You don't notice you've stopped and are facing each other at this point because he's asking, "Do you always wear these?"

You study them when you don't need to, for once avoiding that inner urge for strength to look up, face your fears, and see what might lie in his expression. "No. Obviously I can't when I play."

"The rest of the time?"

"Not really. Not these specific ones a lot, either, but other bracelets or sleeves or gloves, sure - it's probably like fifty-fifty." You don't know why you're even telling him this but his expression is a little apprehensive, a little hopeful, so maybe you want to see where this goes.

"Why?"

You look up at him then, at an unusual loss for words and not knowing if he understands what it's like. He must know, of course, like every child in this world learns growing up, how diversely fractured the beliefs in this concept is. You're sure he's aware of the people that completely support the soulmate system and push others to believe in it just as faithfully. He must also know about the other side of the scale, people that literally hate the concept to the point of forcing their disbelief, mistrust, and active rebellion onto others. That's all common knowledge quite well understood around your world and anyone can fall anywhere on the scale, like with politics or religion.

But does he understand how it feels, even in a world where almost every person has at least one name on their skin, to have six? To either be an object of awe, or envy, or disgust. To be you, in that position, an overthinking, overachieving daughter of an almost empirical family, and to have to account for how the marks you were born with might be received in the various environments you're in. You haven't even been able to use your real last name for years thanks to your last deal with your grandmother.

You don't know what his mark is, if he has more than one, you don't even know what he thinks of any of it and where he falls on that scale. And you're supposed to explain why?

He's still looking at you, waiting for something. You don't know if any of your thoughts have hit your expression because you're so conflicted and a little scared. But you're also oddly curious too, like a little part of you is hoping that out of the 7.6 billion people in the world, you just happened to run into and click immediately with one of your six actual soulmates. Seriously, what are the odds? 1 in every 1.2 billion, you guess.

It's like he can see you're retreating, even though you feel like you haven't even moved to take a breath, and he asks, "Can I?"

It's like your heart stops. Why? Why? But you're biting your lip and nodding, like in some kind of trance-like moment. You don't move to help him figure out the clasp and he's just about to snap it open-

"Oi!" You look over and see all the guys stopped a little bit further down from the two of you, where they're clearly going separate ways. When did Iwaizumi and Maki even pass you both??

You burn with embarrassment and concern at how completely unaware you were while talking to Toru. Has it only been a minute or two since you stopped walking? It felt like eternity and a single moment all at the same time.

When you look at his face, he has an equally complicated mix of emotions on his face, that same embarrassment and shock, but also frustration and.. what looks a little bit like a question, if you both can stay here and see this moment to its end. What end would that be?

"Yo! Stop flirting, it's getting late!"

Without looking over at the others again, the both of you pull apart and, metaphorically, pull yourselves together before breaking eye contact and turning to walk the rest of the way.

"You know," You've almost reached the group and you don't expect Toru to talk so you're a little startled when he cuts into the silence but, "I'm really excited to meet mine."

You look over at him at him again, grateful he's diffused the tension so beautifully, even though you're left with what feels like hundreds of questions. You push it all away to bring back some of that easy comfort you were enjoying and answer him with a bright, sincere smile, "Me too. I always have been."

You hope that conveys something to him or explains it a little. You've never been ashamed of the marks on your skin. You're not enamoured with them either. You're simply open to what the possibilities could be and happy to accept whatever makes you and the people you care for happy.

You don't bother questioning the odds or worrying about all the pressing thoughts you've chosen to tuck away for the rest of the night, even after you say your goodbyes and part ways. One way or another, at least some of your questions will be answered. Because in a little over two years from now, if you're the youngest of all your soulmates, the designs that so prettily cover the six currently unreadable names between both of your wrists will change as if they've melted away. A little over two years from now, on your 16th birthday, the names of your soulmates that have been etched into your skin from birth, will finally reveal themselves.

And from your perspective, what you do then won't be any different from how you operate now. Because your future and your fate will always be your choice.

-x-x-x-

Prev | Next

Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Y/n is pretty solid on where she stands regarding soulmates, including hers specifically - She wants to give them a chance, which means no serious commitments or relationships until she's learned who they are and met them; if any of all of them want nothing to do with her, she's decided she'll move on and explore new possibilities with a higher degree of commitment at the time

-She's aware things don't go as planned or imagined.. you might call her realistically optimistic.. she's also well aware through personal experience that what you think you want to do might not line up with how you feel about people since, you know, you can't control the feeling, heart wants what the heart wants, etc, etc :')

-And, like any teenager that is constantly undergoing different experiences, particularly one with a tendency to overthink many things, she also suffers moments of doubt and questions if her philosophy should change - for her, there's no perfect answer, just the best she can do or choose

-Essentially, she has a flexible mindset in that, while she has her opinions which she stands for pretty steadily, if new information does manage to sway those opinions, she's always willing to adapt and learn, consequently updating those opinions and beliefs with new information

-Oikawa... isn't playing around. Actually, he loves to play around, lol, but he's definitely interested in Y/n. He also definitely questioned their odd instant attraction to each other but he's not going to push or make anyone actually feel uncomfortable, especially with a ridiculously high chance of being wrong

-He wasn't lying when he said he's excited to meet (and know) his soulmate, but he's also still just a kid and he currently already loves something real/tangible with all his being so he's okay to wait for something that's supposedly meant to be

A/N: Hi friends! I felt like the written part of this chapter was really long so I'm posting the SMAU part on a different post tomorrow morning. It'll also give me time to make sure everything is in line since I have a lot more trouble with putting those together, as previously mentioned. As always, feel free to send me a message if you noticed any mistakes or even just have anything you want to say about the story so far. I'd love to hear from you! <3

Taglist: @delusivist

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shianhygge-imagines · 4 years ago

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Silver Rose [Vergil/Reader] [V/Reader] {Devil May Cry} The Mortal Half

AN: I apologize for the wait! The road of life took a bit of a wild turn, and my writing (along with a few other things) suffered for it.

On another note... anyone as excited for DMC5: Special Edition as I am :D

This chapter is a long one that I wanted to write and post as soon as possible (I was tempted to wait until all chapters of Visions of V were out). I will probably come back to re-explore V’s character at a later time because damn it, Visions of V really kicked my ass with the character development.

WARNING: As I have mentioned in a separate post, there is a section of smut in here. This is actually the first full smut scene I’ve ever written, so please excuse the awkwardness... and the kinks... and if it sucks.

So, yeah. It’s now a Vergil/Reader as well as a V/Reader story. Cheers!

If you like the content I create, please consider donating to my Ko-fi! Please help me feed my tea addiction!

|Masterlist Link| |First Chapter| |Prev. Ch.| --- |Next Ch.|

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4th May 01:40pm

When you woke the next morning, Shadow was still curled into your side, its eyes closed and seemingly content despite the afternoon sunlight pouring through the windows. Though you’d slept peacefully through the rest of the night, it was rather strange having another presence in the same bed as you. After all, you hadn’t shared your bed with another individual since Vergil had started leaving on his alarmingly frequent trips away from your home in Red Grave City. And although it had been years since you visited that place, the mere thought of those nights brought a frown to your previously content face. Closing your eyes and exhaling slowly, you mentally gave the box of memories a rough shove away.

It’s best not to dwell on unpleasant thing, Y/N. You muse to yourself with the slightest tensing of your body.

Sensing your change in mood, Shadow shifted to rest a lightly dozing head on your stomach, cracking a single ruby eye open to check on you as a purr rumbles throughout its body in an effort to calm you.

Running a hand through the shadow panther’s silky ‘fur’, you hummed absentmindedly in response. “Just unpleasant memories, Shadow.” When the remnant of your husband’s memories merely huffs in a feline scoff, you turn to cuddle into the Nightmare demon. “I am 100% sure that V didn’t tell me the truth last night… but if there’s anything I’ve learned over the years, prying is generally not the correct course to take to learn the whole truth. Still though,” you sigh wistfully, “My life has been so chaotic and cryptic that there are times where I wish that I was born a normal girl.”

Although you wished to say more, your lips clam up the moment that you hear a knock at the door. “Y/N? It’s nearly 2pm. Are you awake, yet?”

You share a look with Shadow, “Well, speak of the devil, I guess.” You don’t bother moving as you call out to the moral man, “You can come in, V. I’m awake, but I sure as hell ain’t getting out of bed yet.” Even though you say this, you lift your head to peer over Shadow’s dark body as V enters the room with an eyebrow raised.

“Do you have any intention of leaving your bed, Y/N? It’s well into the afternoon.” V inquires with a furrowed brow as he closes the door and continues forward to the side of the bed with a limp.

“Oh…. Is it? I hadn’t noticed.” You remark cheerfully, settling back down into the sheets as you pet Shadow. “I don’t think I will any time soon, no.”

Unsure as to how to proceed with your blatant denial to rise from bed, V gestures towards the edge of your king sized bed. “May I have a seat?”

“Knock yourself out, V. This bed is too big anyways, so… ‘free real estate’ I guess.” You found yourself repeating the meme that a group of orphans in Fortuna City had taken the time to teach you… though you were unsure if you had used the meme in the proper context.

Your eyes shifted to meet V’s green once you felt the edge of the bed dip to your left. In the daylight, with the sun’s rays pouring into the room, V seemed… sickly. It was worrying how skinny and pale he was despite the hint of power you could feel in him. If it weren’t for his contract with Vergil’s remnants, you would not have any confidence in V’s ability to defend himself should you all take on Urizen. And once Vergil had been defeated again (though you found yourself in pain just thinking about killing your beloved), would the powers disappear and leave the young man before you weak and on the verge of collapse?

“There’s no need to worry, Y/N.” V’s gaze is almost gentle as he reassures you, “I promise that I’ll not suddenly collapse.” Not realizing that you had been staring, you blinked your eyes and mumbled an apology. “No, don’t apologize. It is only natural to doubt my abilities when I look like this.” The young man gestures towards his weakened body with a carefully bitter expression that would stick with you for days to come. “My powers are limited, which is why it is absolutely imperative that we stop Urizen before he grows too powerful.” When you don’t respond, trying to find a way to comment without offending him, V took it as a sign of sadness. “I couldn’t help but overhear you before I entered. That you wished that you were born to a normal life.”

Your face scrunches up as you force yourself to sit, “If I’m being perfectly honest, V… I don’t really know you well enough to pour my heart and soul out.”

V’s smile remains slightly bitter even as he pulls out the anthology of William Blake poems and hands it over to you. “Fair enough, Ms. Y/N. By all means, save your words. I only ask that you listen to what I have learned about you and your past.” When you reluctantly take a hold of the tome, V gestures towards it, “The note written on the back cover of that volume seems to imply that the person who gifted it to you was rather fond of you.”

The book’s cover was immaculate, but upon closer inspection, you noticed that the pages have yellowed from its age. Brows scrunched and curious, you immediately flipped to the back cover and withheld a gasp at the painfully familiar handwriting scrawled along the back cover.

To my beautiful silver rose,

Perhaps it is just the slightest bit vain that I gift this book to you. After all, an exact copy of this anthology sits on my book shelf in the study. But I noticed that you’ve taken a deeper interest in these old poems as of late, so I sought out a copy for yourself. Please do not think I turn a blind eye to your sadness when I am away, Y/N. I do my best to comfort you while I have you in my arms, but I must see my goals through. When I am gone, please read these poems and think of me. Just as I will think of you.

Rest assured that no matter how far I travel, Y/N, that I will always find my way back to you.

Your loving husband,

Vergil Sparda

“You were in that place, weren’t you?” You asked V as your fingers traced the note written into the cover. “There is no way you’d have this particular volume if you hadn’t been.”

V nodded, his eyes carefully watching as you caressed the book. “When I found Vergil’s remnants, they had been drawn to that book which had been left in one of the upstairs bedrooms.”

“I left it there when Vergil embarked on his quest through Hell.” You admitted, melancholic. “The book had been a constant reminder of an empty promise, so I tried to bury my past. Obviously it didn’t work, but I left the book in Vergil’s childhood room regardless.”

“Why the book?” V wondered, “Aside from the note in the back, the tome seems ordinary.”

Handing the book back to the younger man, you merely smiled a tame smile, “It was a symbol of hope that I didn’t want, as well as a constant reminder that the man I love abandoned me in favor of demonic power.” Slipping out of bed, you grabbed a robe and ventured into the bathroom, only a final statement leaving your lips before the door shut behind you, “And nothing’s worse than to be reminded that I wasn’t enough.”

22nd May 11:32am

You’re not sure if you should be worried or relieved by how easy it was to trail V through the city wreckage as you sprinted and jumped from one roof to another. The mysterious young man traversed the streets below with his Nightmare demons protecting him as low leveled demons appeared along the path. Over the course of the past few days, you and V had taken shelter within your home in Red Grave City. Although there were times where you interacted, V regularly ventured out into the city on patrols and supply runs, seemingly under the impression that you were still injured from the encounter with Urizen at the heart of the Qliphoth Tree. More often than not, V would leave in the afternoons and return in the morning.

Although you were touched by his care for your well-being, you still couldn’t but feel distrustful and suspicious of V. The names of his demon contracts… Hence your current trailing… and as it turns out, his actual hair color is white.

With how many demons there were roaming the streets, you were surprised that V had lasted this long. Though, from your spot seated on the roof above the corner where V fought to protect a small group of surviving humans, you could tell that the younger man was becoming weaker the more he used his abilities. You would jump down and aid him if he needed it, but only if he needed it.

Your initial assessment of V was that he didn’t care for humans in the slightest after watching him walk fast the human corpses without a care. The way the younger looking man had gazed upon the carnage with indifference… you remembered shivering and thinking that there was no way he was completely human. Though, after that night, you were pleased to learn that V had quickly taken up the role as protector while the humans evacuated.

Your attention drifted back into the present when V slumped over below you, exhausted as he sat upon a pile of demon corpses. The humans that he had protected were cowering against the wall opposite of V, and you frowned when none rose to offer aid to the sickly man, who had begun to pale more than he normally did.

You heard V heave a tired sigh as he asked Griffon a question, “How many days has it been?”

The demon summon flapped its wings and hovered above his master, “Three.”

V slumped over, curling in upon himself, his dark hair hanging to cover his face. “I’m not sure that I can even last a month.” Your frown deepened at that comment. That’s news to me… shit. Now I feel bad for not helping him. You rose from your seated position and removed your eyes from V to sweep the area with a vigilant gaze.

“You’re just going willy-nilly, spending all your strength like that.” Griffon squawked mockingly, “Nicely done, buddy. If you continue like this, you’re gonna croak before the kid even returns.”

So, V’s dying? You wondered, Who is he? What’s his deal? How is he involved in this mess to begin with? Your gaze also darkens when the humans call V and Griffon monsters. We have to protect humanity, yes. But this is one of those times where I understand Vergil’s distaste for humanity. Then again… nothing is perfect.

Your eyes sweep briefly back down to make sure that V was in the clear while searching for food just as you felt several demonic presences appear behind you. Stepping away from the ledge, you nodded and unsheathed the Totsuka just as several Hell Bats and a Lusachia attempt to ambush you.

Your steps are quiet as you slide under several fireballs and sprint across the rooftop to a less narrow roof. “Okay, folks. I’m going to have to ask you to be as quiet as possible during this entire transaction we got going here.” You chirp with a smirk, voice carefully lowered to just below your normal speaking voice. “I don’t want my friend knowing that I’m spying on him. Heh.” As expected, none of the demons respond, opting to rush you with fireballs and incantations.

Your feet are moving before your brain catches up with the attacks, running in wide arcs and tight turns to avoid the incoming fireballs and incantation circle. “Sorry, what was that?” Your grin is feral as you push off from the rooftop in a wide swipe at the Lusachia, striking it with a shallow cut before kicking off of it in a backflip, free hand pulling out your Silver Rose to shoot it in the face a few times. “I couldn’t hear what you were saying!” As you stick the landing, you shoot it once more before raising the same hand to your ears, “You’re gonna have to speak louder!”

Of course the Lusachia can only groan as it falls, dying from the wounds you’ve inflicted upon it. Around you, the Hell Bats screech and rush, swooping down in lines of fire as you duck and dodge. “No, no! I wasn’t talking to you guys! You’re a bit too loud, so imma have to ask you to shut up!” Just as two Hell Bats swoop down to attack you from both sides, you holster the Silver Rose and Totsuka, getting into a wide stance. When the bats are close enough, you unsheathe the Totsuka in a single movement, cutting down the demons before they could even touch you.

The remaining Hell Bat screeches and flies back towards the grocery store’s roof, but you only grin and follow, Totsuka sheathed once more. “No, no! I’m gonna getcha!”

You are probably a step away from killing the bat yourself, when you notice a giant meteor suddenly appear in the sky above you. “Ah! Nope!” You are just in time to kick off the grocery store roof and flip to safety when Nightmare crashes into the grocery store, completely decimating the building. Wincing at the loss of the area’s last remaining food source, you crouch down upon the ledge of another roof and scan over the wreckage below. “…that was overkill.”

It seems… from how loudly Griffon was protesting, that it agreed with your assessment. “You’re killin’ me here, V! Didja really have to take it that far? You could’ve just-oh, I don’t even know where to begin!”

You watch as a boy and his mother walk out of the wrecked grocery store before jumping down from the rooftop, casually strolling over to where V and Griffon continued to converse. You were about to speak when V crouched down and suddenly took a bite out of a demon’s carcass.

The only thing you could do at seeing the younger man eat the demon meat was dry heave loudly.

Both V and Griffon freeze before turning their heads to look at you. “Aw shit!” Griffon curses, “It’s the Lady Sparda!”

You hold back the gag threatening to escape as you approach the two, eyes trained on the blood staining V’s mouth. There’s unfiltered horror on V’s face even as you crouch down and wipe away the blood with a handkerchief. “Raw demon meant cannot be good for you.” The horror softens when you sigh and offer V a hand, “Come on. I still have canned food in the pantry back home. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

You don’t see the grief and regret upon V’s face as you turn to lead him out of the wreckage, hand in hand.

~~~~~

V’s Point of View

V’s green eyes never leave your back the entire way back to the house that Vergil had bought you all those years ago. He is exhausted from overusing his abilities, his mind muddled and unfocused. V can tell that the silence bothers you. He’s known that the silence bothers you ever since you’d both fled from this very city when you were children. Still, the past few hours have rendered him too tired to speak. So the silence continues.

Even as you fix him a meal.

Even as you sit down with him to eat.

Even as you guide him to the bathroom.

Even as you place a set of his pajamas on the counter.

Even as you leave the bathroom with a comment that you’d be in the study.

Even in his mute state, V doesn’t fail to see the melancholy in your eyes.

As he undresses, leaving his demon blood soiled clothes in the sink, V laments his current situation.

The house that he’d bought for you is still very much the same as it was over twenty years ago. Aside from the changes in products and appliances on the inside, it is as he left it. There are signs that Y/N doesn’t live in the building as often as she should… canned and dried food products in the pantry… a fridge empty except for bottled water and frozen meals… untouched kitchen appliances… a vacuum that seemed to be over ten years old… dust gathering in the unused rooms where they had planned to put a baby crib… his old clothes packed into boxes and shoved into the very same dusty rooms…

When the overly large bathtub is filled with hot water, V forces himself into the separate shower to quickly rinse off the dried blood and grime coating his skin. In the back of his mind, he recalls a memory where you told him that it was gross to sit in filth when taking a bath. The memory brings a constricting feeling to his chest and he doesn’t care that he drips water everywhere as he leaves the shower in favor of the bathtub.

The soap used in the shower is the same scent you’ve always used. The brand has changed, but it seems that you haven’t. His chest constricts some more when he realizes that you haven’t changed much since the last he saw you aside from your overuse of snark and slang. Sinking into the hot water and wrapped in your scent, V laments that the melancholy in your eyes was nothing new. When he was Vergil… a young Vergil from over twenty years ago… the last year spent with you before Temen Ni Gru… there were times where he noticed your eyes fill with melancholy. V winces, visibly in pain as he forces himself to remember. Vergil had known you were sad and lonely… but he had chosen to ignore your pain.

And even now, when he was no longer that man, V continues to hurt you.

The mortal half slips under the water before he knew it, his mind running wild with reflection.

Strange.

I feel rather peculiar.

I’m scared because I am weak.

I’ve resorted to depending on others because I am afraid.

That is what the weak do.

I’m…

…ever since I got this body, all I’ve been doing are things that I don’t want to do.

All of my thoughts are things I don’t want to think about.

(Y/N. Mother. Dante.)

While I’ve always intended on reflecting on why I lost (to Dante… to Mundus),

The reality is, I’ve moved on a long time ago.

I always thought I could fill this emptiness with power.

Anything that I lacked could be compensated with raw power.

How ironic.

It was only after I was stripped of all my strength that I realized…

That it was always within reach.

Always.

Deep inside, the answer was always there.

~~~~~

Y/N’s Point of View

“V?” You knock on the door to the master bathroom after around ten minutes, intent on taking the man’s clothes in order to wash them. “V, I need your clothes so I can put them in the wash.” When there is no answer, you knock again, “V? If you don’t answer me, I’m just gonna come in.” Your brows furrow at the lack of answer. “… Well, I warned you. I’m coming in.”

There’s a distinct lack of sound inside the bathroom when you enter although the dirty clothes are in the sink, “Um… V?” Your gaze sweeps across the large bathroom to rest upon the filled bathtub, and you frown when you notice the bubbles rising from the middle of the large tub. Creeping closer, you can see V under the water, his gaze empty and melancholic. No more bubbles rise from his lips, and you suddenly realize that V might be too tired to notice that he was drowning.

You don’t notice the wet floor, and you don’t care that the man is completely nude. Something in you beckons you forward, and you practically sprint to climb into the bathtub, taking a firm hold of his torso and lifting V’s upper half out of the water.

V’s green eyes blink blearily as he stares into yours. “V?” You whisper, letting go of his torso once he’d sat up on his own. Your hands come up to brush his dark hair out of his eyes. “Are you okay?”

The man lets out a shaky breath and ducks his head, nodding. “I appreciate the sentiment, Y/N. But I wasn’t in any danger. You didn’t have to climb in to save me.”

“You weren’t breathing, V.” You deadpanned, bringing up a hand to flick his forehead. “Nobody’s dying in my house.”

The two of you are quiet for a few moments until V turns to look away from you. “As much as I am grateful for you kindness, I don’t want to imagine what your husband would do to me if he finds out that you bathed with another man.”

You flush a deep red when you notice the position you were in… straddling a completely nude V in the bathtub while you sit in a soaked white nightgown that was becoming see through. “I… uh…”

You’re at a loss for words and continue to be at a loss for words when V turns back to stare you down with darkened eyes. He scoots you closer, pressing you against his body as he teases lowly, “Unless… I entice you…?”

You swallow hard when you notice that something hard is pressed up against you.

~~~~~~

Third Person Omniscient Point of View

“I… don’t…” The water is starting to cool in the bathtub, sending chills up your body even as you flush from head to toe. The only source of warmth is from V, who holds you close, his green eyes gazing at you with a myriad of emotions… Lust… Affection… Loneliness… Guilt… Mischief… Love… It has been over twenty years since someone has made love to you, and for all your faith and devotion, you want to feel that intense pleasure… that warm intimacy once more. You know that a demonic Vergil has run rampant across your home city, that what remains of your husband’s humanity has bonded with the man before you… You know that something within you call for V and beckons you to continue… to give in.

The moment that you pulled V out of the water, soaked from head to toe with concern in you eyes, V knew that he could continue this charade with you. He’d been cruel to you for most of your life, and he couldn’t bear to be cruel for another minute. He wants you to know him completely once more. As Vergil as well as V. What he wanted and need this entire time had been something you’d been willing to give him from the beginning, and Vergil had been a fool to cast you aside. Yet, with you pressed so close to him, your scent invading his senses, all V can think about is his love for you. A love that had never died, just stubbornly ignored. He’d neglected you for over twenty years because of his mistake. And now, if you are willing, he would make love to you until that melancholy has been chased away.

You gasp when V presses his lips to the crook of your neck, whimpering as he simply brushes his lips over your skin in light caresses. The mortal half smirks against your skin and whispers to you in a low rumble. “I’ve slacked in my duties, Y/N.” His hands trail up your bare thighs resting on either side of his hips, bunching up the material as his hands rise sensually to rest upon your waist.

“W-what are you…saying?” It would be remiss of you to not notice the same phrase that Vergil used on the day he asked you to marry him. When did your breathing become heavy?

V’s lips trail upwards along the column of your throat achingly slow as he kisses teasingly along the way. His thumb traces gentle patterns on the skin of your waist even as he lifts you from his hips to place you close to the edge of the bathtub. He’s on all fours, knelt before you with his arms propped up on either side of your head as he continues the kiss until he’s at your ear. “I’ll show you how much you mean to me, my beautiful wife.” V growls as he gently nips your ear.

Shocked, you pull away to stare at the man. “V…” you plead, voice weak from arousal and heartbreak, “Please don’t play with my heart like this.”

The dark expression softens as V leans forward to press a loving kiss to your lips before pulling back. “I’ve made so many mistakes in the past, Y/N. The greatest was leaving you in pursuit of power.” His green eyes are filled with guilt as he sighs miserably, “You were right. Power isn’t everything. And I was wrong to call you a burden all those years ago.” At the reminder, you flinch backwards, and suddenly it is no longer just guilt on V’s face, but self-loathing. “Because of me, we lost so much time. Over twenty years of sorrow and regrets, and I didn’t want this to be another regret.”

“So, you’re…”

“I am Vergil… but not quite.” V confirms, “I… made another mistake, and this is the result.”

V’s lip move to continue, but you quickly shut him up by pressing your lips firmly against his. Your arms are raised to drape over his shoulders, pulling him closer as you deepen the kiss with a hungry moan. You part your lips before V can tease you, and heavy desire pools below when his tongue teases the roof of your mouth.

V’s hands find their way to the hem of your soaked nightgown, grasping the edges firmly and lifting when you separate briefly to assist him in undressing you. You hear your nightgown flop into the water as V tosses the article of clothing to the side, but you can’t bring yourself to care. You press yourself into V, hands rising to hold his face as your lips capture his once more. “Explanations can wait until tomorrow.” Your voice is thick with desire as you pull away just the slightest to leave the bathtub.

After casually slipping your soaked panties off, you turn back to V to beckon him after you. You can hear him leave the tub as you walk out of the master bathroom and into the bedroom.

(Smut Alert!!!)

You don’t make it to the bed before V catches up to you, his hand snatching yours and halting your progress forward. The air conditioning is on, and the cool breeze on your wet skin elicits a shiver through your body just as your nipples harden. Soon, your shivering is not from the cold air, but from the heat of having V’s naked body pressed into your back. His right arm moves to circle around your waist, pressing his palm flat against your pelvis while his left arm releases you in favor of cupping your left breast. You can feel him hard against the small of your back as V presses urgent kisses along your shoulder.

“Tell me, Y/N.” His voice is a husky growl between sensual kisses as his fingers tweak your nipple with a quick flick. “Did you ache for me while I was gone?” V’s right palm lowers to rest just over your mound drawing molten patterns just upwards of your clit. “Did you stay up touching yourself to thoughts of what I might do to you when I returned?”

You know your husband, and even if V wasn’t completely Vergil, the teasing was enough of a tell to know that he could play the long game. If you don’t answer. If you don’t let out the sinful sounds he’s looking for… V would refuse to continue. And after twenty plus years without, you didn’t want to wait another moment.

“Y-yes!” You moaned, body aching for more as your pussy gets wetter. “Every night that I’m alone.” The tortured whimper from your lips pleases V immensely as his hand dips lower to cup your sex, long fingers swiping just lightly before pulling away to show you just how wet you are.

“And when you thought of me during those nights, were you as soaked then as you are now?” His voice had been sinful as Vergil, but the deep airy whispers that V makes has you licking your lips in anticipation as his fingers play with your juices. V rests his chin upon your shoulder and brings his fingers up to his lips, “No, right?” You can’t reply, too entranced as he licks your juices off his fingers. “Hmmm.” He moans as you whimper, bringing his hand back down to rest exactly on your clit. “I want to taste more of you.” V growls, a finger toying with your clit while his remaining fingers dip into your slit, spreading your juices all over your lips.

Head tilted, you can only moan when V dips a long finger into your pussy before immediately pulling out. “V… please s-stop teasing me!” You beg, quivering as your hands raise to tug his arms close.

He hums and thrusts his hips into your back slightly, not enough for him to receive any pleasure from it, but enough so that you know how much harder he’s become. “Hmmm” V purrs into your ear, turning his hand so that it locks with yours, fingers intwined for just the moment, “Well, if that is what my love desires…” In a single fluid movement, he’d spun you around and gently guided you to rest upon your bed. “Then who am I to deny?”

Although sickly, you can’t help but salivate over how the black markings decorate his torso and arms. They trail in intricate patterns all over his torso and down to his pelvis, ending at… oh. Fuck. He’s longer than I expected. The part of him that stands at attention, partially curved up, draws your attention better than his beautiful green eyes and dark hair. You’re sure that V can hear how fast your heart is racing as he smirks, completely at ease as he saunters forward and crawls over you. There are whispers at the back of your mind telling you to touch him, but you only ignore them as V presses slow, open mouthed kisses along every inch of skin on his way up to your mouth.

He stops just shy of kissing your core, where an unbearable amount of heat has gathered.

He presses gentle, mournful kisses to the spot that Vergil and Urizen stabbed, his eyes briefly meeting yours with a silent plea for forgiveness.

He licks up the valley between your breasts, eyes closes as if he’s savoring the taste of your skin.

He issues a silent challenge by meeting your gaze as he pulls one of your nipples into his mouth while a hand plays with the other. You meet his gaze and stubbornly refuse to look away even as you feel his tongue flick and lap, even as the heat of his mouth becomes almost too much to bear.

When he finally makes his way to your mouth, V’s smiling, something that has always been rare even when he was Vergil. The slow kiss that follows is sweet and loving, but is interrupted as you gasp. V smirks smugly as his fingers circle your slit a few times before he presses a finger into you… then two. His green eyes watch you in adoration as he pumps his fingers in and out of your soaked pussy, taking in your moans as if it were the sweetest melody he’d ever heard.

You can’t help the moans that fall from your lips or that your legs spread to give V more space. You want more.

“V!” You whimper, even as he presses a third in. “P-please!”

He pretends he doesn’t hear you, continuing to finger fuck your pussy as his thumb plays with your swollen clit. It has been over twenty years since he’d had you beneath him. And with all the shit he’s pulled in the past, he wants you to cum at least once before he takes you.

After years without, you don’t last as long as you’d hoped. The rush of pleasure builds up faster than you expect. Your legs stiffen and your toes curl as the heat builds up to a climax, sending you over the edge of wild abandon and heavy breaths.

You come back from the haze to find V grinning triumphantly, licking your juices from his fingers once more. When scowl dangerously, V only continues to grin. It doesn’t take much more than a push to reverse your positions, but still V’s grin persists.

“Not satisfied, my love?”

“You know damn well that I’m not satisfied.” You mutter with a pout, throwing your legs over his hips so that you can press your soaked lips against his throbbing cock. Biting your lip, you stay still for a few moments as you look down at V, his dark hair sprawled upon the bed and lustful gaze staring up.

“And how would you have me repent, Y/N?” The words are out of his mouth before V realizes it.

You hum, tracing your fingers along the black lines adorning his chest before moving your hips to slid your pussy along his cock. “I want you to fuck me, V.” His body tenses when you continue to tease him, “I want you to fill me up. To make me cum so many times that I forget my name. To make me scream so loud from pleasure that fucking Urizen can hear it from his stupid demon tree.”

A growl is your only answer before V’s gaze darkens once more and you find yourself pressed into the bed, watching as V positions himself between your legs, lining himself up so that the head of his weeping cock is pressed to your opening.

“If Urizen hears the sounds of your pleasure, he might be compelled to take you as well.” He’s teasing you again.

“Urgh, V, jus-ah!” You’re interrupted when his hips snap forward, sheathing his cock to the hilt.

“I’ve never been one to share.” V gasps, holding onto your hips as he pulls away and snaps back.

All you can do is moan and move to meet his hips, lewd noises filling your quiet home as V sets a quick pace. After years of denying yourself the pleasures of the flesh, you can feel your cunt stretch around V. Already sensitive from your previous orgasm, it takes everything for you not to cum again just from being filled. Your soft moans and gasps of his name fuel V’s desire, and soon, as you cry for more, he sets a brutal pace, pounding into your pussy as your writhe beneath him.

His green eyes are wild as he pounds deep into your womb, something like determination in his eyes, “Y/N.” Your name is like a prayer upon his lips, “You asked me to fill you up.”

If it was possible, another jolt of pleasure shot through your body and straight to your core, and you found yourself tightening around him at what V was implying. “Yes.” You moan, throwing your hands up to wrap around his shoulders, “Yes, V! Fuck! I need you to cum in me!”

Unable to stop himself anymore, V let go of whatever control he had and thrust into you with wild abandon. He didn’t even know if he could impregnate you in his current state, and he knew that it was reckless to try, but fuck if he wasn’t going to try anyways. It was all you’d ever wanted with Vergil. A family. And if he could give you this, too…

God, you wanted to be filled. The thought of finally having a child leaves you wailing and on the edge of release. You could feel him throb as he abandoned rhythm, muttering ‘I love you’ as his body quaked with each thrust before abruptly stopping. The moment you feel his warmth spilling deep into you is when you finally allow yourself to fall over the edge with a wordless moan, pussy pulsing as you milk V of his release.

Coming down from the high, you find yourself entangled in V’s arms, the both of you breathing heavy as you both lay on the bed. Like all times before Vergil left, the two of you lay in silence, content with each other’s presence.

(Smut end… *fans self* as a side note, they absolutely cleaned up after an additional two rounds :P)

23rd May 09:32am

You woke up to the sounds of a struggle, bolting from the bed with light steps and snatching the Silver Rose from your nightstand. You heard something clank and clatter from within the bathroom just as you pressed yourself to the wall, gun raised as you peered into the room. What you saw in had you in a fit of laughter.

“Ahahahahaha! Oh my gosh! V!” Your finger leaves the trigger as you bend over with a laugh, , “I have a washer and dryer for a reason!”

V grumbled and flushed lightly as he wrestled his clean, but soaked pants from Griffon and Shadow. “…” The set of pajamas that you’d coaxed V into the previous night were thoroughly soaked through because he’d decided to hand wash and hand dry his only set of clothes.

“Guess we’ve been camping out too much, huh, buddy?” Griffon chirped after letting go of the black pants.

Shadow lets out a growl in warning, also letting go of the pants in favor of approaching you, rubbing its face against your side with a purred greeting. Though you raise a brow in question, you raise a hand to scratch behind the panther’s ears. “I have many questions, I’m not going to beat around the bush.”

V sighs and sets his clothes on the sink counter before walking towards to pull you into a loving embrace, “Let me change into some dry clothes, and we’ll talk over breakfast.”

His wet clothes feel cold against your nightgown, but you don’t mind, humming as you snuggle into V’s embrace.

15th June 06:00am

“Hurry up, Shakespeare! The Lady Sparda and I aren’t gonna wait for your slow ass all the time!” Griffon called back towards V from his perch on your right arm.

“Oh, don’t be like that, Griff. He’s trying his best.” You chide, turning to stare at V just as he closes the remaining few meters to stand at your side. The past month had been an ordeal, but here you were, about to meet up with your son to end this mess. Turning to V, you playfully nudge him, “Let’s go, V.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I will definitely be writing more about Reader’s time with V as chapters of Visions of V release.

As always, thank you so much for reading!

PS. Hi, yes, Tumblr. Please don’t eat up my chapter again.（╹◡╹）THanks

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letsperaltiago · 4 years ago

Text

🌟 HAPPY 12TH OF DECEMBER: DOOR TWO 🌟

Welcome to door two of four!

Behind my Christmas calendar’s second door is a... dating, kind of early-relationship, Peraltiago Christmas oneshot! ♥️

Summary: Amy feels like Christmas is crumbling around her and when the stress becomes too much, boyfriend Jake steps in and takes care of it. Takes place somewhere right before S03 E10: Yippie Kayak.

Rating: G

Words: 4k (just barely)

Read on AO3 here

🎁⬇️OPEN DOOR TWO HERE ⬇️🎁

my gift to you is all my heart

Christmas 2015 is the most special one so far, Jake dares to admit - and that’s coming from a guy who really couldn’t care any less about the season of families pretending to be picture-perfect and a 'shallow but pour some glitter on it'-kind of joy. Slap some red and green colors on an otherwise dysfunctional world and call it a happy place for a month or two.

It’s not that he wants or aspires to hate Christmas; it’s not that he wants to be the cynical one in a crowd of happiness and optimism. There just happens to be a lot of wounds, never fully healed scars, from the many lonely Christmases he spent as a child and teenager. Between his dad considering his parental role a part-time job and his mother working full-time to make a living for them, there wasn’t much - if anything at all - for Jake to love about the holidays and more specifically Christmas. On the contrary, the season rather emphasized how dysfunctional his family was...

Perhaps this year, he really hopes, the season of joy and light will feel more… like a season of joy and light. This year he has Amy which is an experience he’s never, obviously, had before and something he’s more than excited to try. His girlfriend loves Christmas and hopefully, it’ll rub off on him even though he’s surely the Grinch in their relationship the second Thanksgiving hits. It’s almost as if, for a month or so, he and Amy’s dynamic is completely flipped upside down. Not that he's calling his girlfriend a Grinch! Although, a secret to no one, Amy does take on a more serious role in their relationship. All that aside: the second the holidays come around, Amy is the most bubbly and cheery about silly, in Jake’s opinion, stuff like napkin-like turkey, too many pies, secret Santas, seizure-inducing fairy lights, and the only thing worse than normal vegetables: baked vegetables… Meanwhile, he’d rather isolate himself in his apartment, with his mayo-spoonsies and Die Hard, as the delusional world outside goes on.

Then again: he hasn’t had Amy around, at least as a girlfriend, before.

It’s a few days before Christmas eve. An evening he’s not looking forward to since Amy’s leaving tomorrow to spend the day and weekend at her parents’ place - which means not with him, and it’s definitely activating his so far decently subdued inner Grinch. How come Christmas wants to come off as this super jolly season when actually it forces him to be away from his girlfriend? What a scam.

About an hour ago he arrived at Amy’s place to find the door locked, which was weird considering that it was her precious day off. Luckily Amy’s already figured out that her boyfriend is of the clingy kind, which she enjoys, so she’s given him a key to her place. This so he can - quote Amy - “Come and go as you please. Like a cat. A really cute, hot cat.”

He’d chuckled at her comment, then kissed her out of sheer happiness because he has a girlfriend that wants him to have a key to her place! A girlfriend who wants him to drop by and cuddle her, laugh with her and annoy her - whenever!

And so here he is: flopped down on his girlfriend’s couch, watching Die Hard, since it’s the only Christmas movie he can stand to watch. He’d sent her a text telling her he was here, making sure he wouldn’t scare her whenever she was to arrive, but alas never heard anything back. This he suddenly realizes as Hans Gruber is taking the people inside of Nakatomi plaza hostage. He hopes she’s okay, suddenly feeling a bit worried. However, the feeling doesn’t last for long. Basically stumbling through the door comes Amy holding what looks like a thousand shopping bags, which impresses Jake so much that he misses the worried frown and sweaty glow on her forehead.

Being the good boyfriend he is, something he takes a lot of pride in, he of course jumps from the couch to help her. “Hey, babe. Need any help?”

“No, don’t worry about it.”

His offer just barely manages to make it out of his mouth before she’s already dismissed him and disappears into her so-called happy place - in reality, a room dedicated to all of her books and crafts.

Even though he doesn't comment on it, it's unmistakably unusual behavior for her. “You sure? I can do whatever you need; help you unpack, make you some coffee, look cute…”

In her little office, Amy is marching, all at once systematically and chaotically, around the room like the devil is after her. It’s as if he isn’t there, as if she’s avoiding him, and just barely takes the time to stop and throw him a vague glance. “Jake, please. I just need some space. I have presents to wrap and… stuff.”

Oh. Space. The word doesn't go by unnoticed and makes Jake's stomach drop. Space is usually not a good word when coming from a partner, he’s experienced, and this time around it seems to sting that much more than back with Sophia. Is this the end of him and Amy already?

Everything they've done runs through his mind with the speed of light. Things were going so well, he thought. Just yesterday they’d been snuggling on her couch, sharing lazy kisses and giggles as their favorite show (they have a show!!) played in the background. Things like “I love my family but I can’t wait to see you again after Christmas” and “Can you believe how far we’ve gotten since this time last year?” were said, making Jake feel so infatuated and sure. They'd even kissed and made stupid remarks at each other under the mistletoe Jake put up in the door frame leading to her bedroom.

Now, suddenly, it seems as if he’s the last person Amy wants around. Without even consciously deciding to do so he backs away from the tiny office, thus allow his girlfriend some… space. God, he hates that word and every memory associated with it.

Communication is key, Jake knows. However, it’s not as if it went well the last time he kicked down the doors when a girlfriend asked for space. Hence why he doesn’t dare to kick down any doors, literally or metaphorically, when the one to Amy’s office is closed.

He doesn’t know what to do; he doesn’t know what he can do? Make coffee - he can do that right? At this point, he isn't sure of anything. His heart starts beating faster and faster against his ribs, and he knows it’s because, maybe not that deep down, he’s afraid. Afraid of losing the possibly best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Coming from behind the shut door Jake can hear thumps and paper rustling. Jake isn’t the big Christmas-connoisseur but even so, he finds, what he believes is, Amy’s present-wrapping abnormally loud and chaotic - something that seems as unlike Amy as can be. He’s brewing a pot of coffee, for the both of them, something he hopes will be well-received, when suddenly the sounds coming from his girlfriend’s furious wrapping-project goes silent. All at once, with a thump, as if she’s hit a wall.

The silence lasts, and though Jake expects the rustling to pick back up any second, it doesn’t. He can feel himself grow considerably more worried. A big part of him, the one that’s still suffering Sophia’s actions even though he is fully and completely over her, haunts him. It feels a lot like being in a tug-of-war between pressing his way into the room, thus whatever is going on with Amy, and staying back and out of his girlfriend’s sudden need for space.

What does it for him is the sound of a loud mix between a groan and a whine. He has to go in, he quickly decides. Gently he pushes open the door, just enough for him to peak his head inside the room, and the sight before him certainly doesn’t calm his nerves: Amy, sitting at her little office desk with her computer before her, with her face buried in her hands and ripped wrapping paper surrounding her. He can’t tell if she is, but just the thought of her crying makes his heart wrench.

“Amy?”

The way her posture completely changes in reaction to the sound of his voice, from hunched over the desk to sitting straight up, as if she’s hiding something surely can’t be good. Even though she tries to be discreet about it, Jake can tell how she quickly wipes her eyes with the back of her hands. In a motion she hopes is discreet but isn't. If Jake’s poor heart wasn’t scratching the bottom of his gut already then it definitely is now. Still, he pushes the door wide open and tries one more time with a voice so soft and attentive that usually only comes out when they’re being really emotional; something he’s trying to grow into and better at. For her.

“Ames… Are you okay?”

Even though there’s no one else but them in the apartment - hopefully, it is Brooklyn, after all - he closes the door behind him to give them some privacy.

“I’m fine, Jake.”

Fine is definitely not how she sounds, a shakiness to her voice, and how she looks averting his gaze, rather diverting her eyes to her laptop screen. To make it even clearer she starts typing - she isn’t fine. Anything that can keep her busy and from unveiling the true colors of the situation seems to be on her agenda.

The urge to back out is so strong, overwhelming, and Jake quickly recognizes the old, certainly bad habit. Although this time around, with Amy before him like this - hunched over and so far from the confident Amy he knows - he also feels the opposing yearning to stay and challenge his former habits. For himself, for Amy, for them - the best six months of his life. Seven, to be precise. The fact that he cares to keep up with this, how long they've been together, says a lot about where he’s at. With her he’ll count every month, week, day, hour, minute and second he gets to be with her.

Emotions are key. He needs to do emotions - the very serious kind.

“You’re…” he halts for a second, feeling as if he’s about to jump off a cliff - not that he's ever tried it before. But it must feel scary. Kind of like this right now. “You're not fine. Obviously.”

Slowly he walks towards her and, after hesitating with his hands waiting in the air above her, contemplating whether it's what he should do or not, he places his hands on her shoulders. The way she stiffens under his touch has him alarmed, but just as quickly as she's tensed up she relaxes. As if she realizes she can safely surrender whatever fears or worries she has to him.

“Tell me what’s wrong - please. Is it something I did?”

“No!” She flies around in her seat to face him to hopefully undo whatever worries about them she's ignited. The first thing Jake notices then is her somewhat red eyes and a look that begs for him to believe her. Hesitantly, he does. Still, it doesn’t make the sinking feeling in his stomach vanish.

Amy turns back around in her seat to face the lit laptop to hide. Frustrated she runs her fingers through her otherwise perfect hair and ruins her perfect ponytail; small tufts of hair on the loose and going in whichever direction they please. Something he's only used to seeing first thing in the morning or late in the afternoon before bed. And even though Jake loves sleepy Amy, morning hair, makeup-free face and all, he wants nothing more than to fix her hair for her, carefully weave the flyaways back into the otherwise still somewhat neat ponytail.

“Ames, I’m just kinda worried. Tell me what’s up, please… Even if it has something to do with me.” His hands never let go of the soft grip on her shoulders as he says this. Right now holding on to her feels like the only grounding element in his universe. She suddenly feels tense under his touch again and he hates that he might be the one doing this to her.

“It’s really... stupid.”

His eyes wander across the lit laptop screen in hopes of a possible hint. USPS Tracking Service.

“I’m sure it’s not stupid, babe.”

“I just-” her hand reaches for the mouse but then hesitates as if touching it will expose her. Either way, she decides to go for it; she grabs the mouse and opens the program containing, what he recognizes as, her day to day calendar - the step down from her life calendar. "I bought this really beautiful necklace for my mom for Christmas…”

He figures they’ve got some time ahead of them and gently pulls over an extra chair for him to sit on. In his seat next to her he follows the cursor on her screen, flying all over the different dates, boxes, color-coded labels and appointments - the many perfect elements of a Santiago-calendar.

“But then earlier, a few subway stops before home, I got an email from USPS saying that the package's arrival would be delayed! So I tried to work a timeslot into my schedule, for me to shop for a new gift from my mom, but it’s impossible." Every word flies out of her so fast she can barely catch her breath and the last part basically comes out of her in the tone of a wail. Jake can easily sense that she’s riled up and is making it hard for herself to calm down. With every word, she grows more and more frantic, panicky, as she switches back to the window with her calendar. What he sees shows, indeed, no room for gift shopping. He knows she thrives on it but he sometimes wonders how his girlfriend lives her life, densely packed, like this.

“I knew it’d be hard to fit in, with me working a full shift tomorrow, the polar swim and then leaving for my parents’ right after, but I thought it'd be possible! Turns out it isn’t... I’ve tried to re-arrange the next 24 hours in my calendar in every way thinkable and nothing works. Nothing.”

“Honey...” he consoles, calmly placing a hand on top of hers. On his face is a small smile, one that can rest in the fact that there was indeed nothing wrong with them, even though he of course feels some concern for his girlfriend who is clearly completely beside herself. Though she's finally speaking up rather than shutting him out, it's obvious that it doesn't come easy to her and there's a vulnerability to her panicky explanation. But it's not, never will be, something that'll scare him away. "... It's okay."

"No, it's not, Jake!"

Yelling isn't exactly the right term but it's clear that the two are of a different point of view.

"I had ordered my mom the perfect Christmas present, one that would so surely beat my brother David's, and now? It's ruined. I won't receive the stupid present in time and I don't have time to shop for a replacement, which, either way, will be less good. I might as well stay home for Christmas this year and spare myself the embarrassment."

It takes a beat of silence for Jake to assemble his thoughts and form an answer. The smile from before is once again back; he knows how to kill her insecurities - with kindness.

"While I would not mind you staying here with me..." He leans in to place a soft peck on her shoulder. "... I'm sure there's no way your mother would want you to stay away simply because of something as silly as a present - no offense."

"Jake, I appreciate your support but you don't know her like I do."

Though the situation reminds Jake of just how stubborn his girlfriend can be, something both frustrating but also endearing, he also remembers just how stubborn he can be. Maybe this time, for once, the latter can come in useful. If there's anything more stubborn than a panicked Amy then it's without a doubt a Jake who wants to see his girlfriend smile. He's a man on a mission - Amy's very own John McClane.

"Okay... I know I have a questionable track record but hear me out..."

She looks at him and for a second, upon seeing the anxiety in her eyes, he stutters to assemble himself one last time before showing her, at least trying to, that he can take control and help her handle her problems - even the worst which honestly isn't as bad as she might think. Softly, making sure to not alarm her, he reaches over to remove her hand from its tight grip on the mouse and replace it with his own. With it, he moves the cursor on the screen to point at the blue '9 AM to 5 PM'-time slot labeled Work, followed by a yellow 'Polar Swim'-slot at 5.30 PM.

"... I was supposed to be off a bit earlier tomorrow but let me fill in for you instead. You can leave at 4, go get your mom a gift, which she by the way will love, and make it back in time for the polar swim. I'll stay till 5 for you. I'll run the arrangement by Holt so you don't have to worry about it."

The silence is loud but not loud enough to hide her thinking; it screams through the way she bites her lip and eyes wander all over his face in search of some kind of truth. She turns her entire body in her seat to fully face him and, somehow, she suddenly looks both cheered up but also remorseful.

"Jake, thank you, but you don't have to do that for me. I know I'm just being crazy. My mom can do without a gift this year."

"Amy Santiago," he reprimands before grabbing both of her hands in his, making sure to keep a hold of her gaze in the process. "Maybe I don't have to but I want to. Ames, let yourself live out the full 'Peralta boyfriend'-experience. Also, stop calling yourself crazy when, in reality, you just care a lot. That's good; to care like you do."

Finally, after it being gone for so long, he catches a glimpse of her characteristic glow. Her eyes are also once again shiny and inspired, and he knows he's doing something right. Everything within him wants to do right for her. For a moment they quietly stay back, in each their seat, and look at each other with admiring eyes. Both wondering how they got so entangled in the other's very much different lives. Yet both eternally grateful. Amy's the first to break and throws her arms around his neck.

"You're the best, Jake," she declares with newfound peace of mind. "Thank you so much."

"No need to thank me." His arms have returned the favor and are securely wrapped around her waist. He's forever sure; nothing feels better than holding her like this. Happy. They stay like this for who knows how long, for seconds or hours, until Jake suddenly retreats into his seat and offers her a cocked brow along with a teasing smile.

"By the way... What's up with the wrapping paper-mess?"

"I had to test the new wrapping paper I got!"

He chuckles. God, he adores her.

"But why the mess?" He hicks a ripped piece of paper lying at his feet.

"Turns out I've bought the worst kind of wrapping paper and I got... pissed." She timidly looks down but still smiles, Jake hopes it's because she knows he likes her love and passion for all things crafty. They go silent and he can tell she's thinking. She pushes a strand of hair behind her ear, rather insecurely and not affectionately like she would with a double tuck.

"By the way..." She clears her throat then looks at him. Right in the eye. "I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't mean to cut you off and push you away like I did. That wasn't okay - at all. I just-" the words get tangled up and caught in her throat to which Jake reacts by reaching over and softly clutching her knee followed by a comforting squeeze. In his eyes, she sees an invitation to speak her mind and she wonders, every day, how she ever lived her life without him by her side like this. The least she can do is explain her actions, ones that were actually just caused by a stupid defense-mechanism.

"I just didn't want you to see this... unfavorable side of me, I guess. I know I can be a bit much."

"Amy," he coos hearteningly. "Of all the sides of you that I've seen, or you will come to show me as this relationship evolves, never have I ever found any of them unfavorable. You're not 'a bit much'... You're everything I want and need."

Though he doesn't dare say it, not quite yet, this feels a lot like an undefined definition of love - one, he's quite sure, comes from everything she's taught him, shown him, and made him feel these past seven months.

She leans over the gap between them. Their lips collide in a kiss so meaningful that it speaks louder and more clear than any words ever could. He tastes like cinnamon and coffee, and with him she feels safe, like there are no ugly truths about her for him to see through. Every day with Jake is like coming home is. It's no longer just unlocking and walking through a door: it's being herself, even during critical moments, and still feeling welcome in her boyfriend's embrace and eyes. Her hands cling onto his cheeks for dear life, pouring all her emotions into the soft movement of her lips, and it's the most accepted and cherished her A-type self has felt in a partner's presence. Who would've thought that this kind of string of emotions would be a reaction to the touch and care of Jake Peralta?

On his part, with the three magic words just barely clinging to his tongue, he internally decides to hold back and keep them for a more suitable moment. Even if, something he's learned from their relationship, there is no such thing as 'the right time'. 'The right time' is only a theory made up by hopeful, sometimes also hopeless, lovers. Much like themselves just barely a year ago. But with this one declaration, what he hopes will be the greatest I love you of his lifetime, he does want some control. The moment shouldn't be surrounded by ripped wrapping paper and tipped over shopping bags.

Hopefully, she can wait just a bit longer. Then he'll tell her, even yell at the top of his longs, that he loves her. He loves Amy Santiago.

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olwolo · 3 years ago

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Yeah you're so right abt cc!wilbur like right now I really think c!wilbur is like REALLY different from what pogtopia!wilbur was as in he's like more aware of the bad things he believes in and it's not just him knowingly going crazy... it's crazy u say that bc I used to think that the pit episode was like peak of c!wilbur being lost, but back than I still think he cared for tommy is some way I guess, like u said. And revivedbur even said he used tommy back then, right? On the first stream? I guess he's just really doing that right now, actively getting to tommy's soft feelings for his past and stuff like that... bastard energy, cc!wilbur really is so fun to watch ugh I kind of want c!niki and tommy to vibe more together now, understand that they are in the same boat when I comes to wilbur and stuff like that but also, c!wilbur being so friendly with phil just makes ME angry at some point because I love the fam dynamic but MaN NOT LIKE THAT YOU KNOW? It makes me angryshdhjdj I love it.

Also there's something I was thinking few days ago, because despite wilbur's plan to destroy a whole ass country being way more serious, it's almost as if his reasoning for it was the same as niki's for setting the l'mantree on fire. It's almost like they needed it to be free for whatever they wanted back then. Hence the "if I can't have l'manburg, no one can" and maybe that's one of the reasons why she blames herself for that,, idk but still for some reason I struggle so much to put a damn alignment for niki lmao it drives me crazy but yeah yeah just thinking abt c!wilbur and c!niki a lot lately but oh well :/ 🧨

yeah revivedbur is definitely different from pogtopia!wilbur in the sense that i think he's very calculating about how he acts around people. he pretty much changes up his behavior depending on who he interacts with which isn't inherently bad but it gives his character this sense of uncertainity because it leaves us to figure out when he is being sincere and when he's not. there are obviously some slip ups like tommy calling out his lie in the recent stream. and like c!wilbur is for sure losing it during the whole pit incident since it's right after him failing to blow up manburg but there's just this vibe around it with him being so insistent on riling up both tommy and techno, acting like the devil on their shoulders and him digging up the pit himself and laughing when the other two beat each other up that just always left me with this feeling that he knew exactly what he was doing. but that's why i love how dsmp's storytelling works because everyone will have their own interpretation of every scene! what stood out to me as well about the pit is how he compared tubbo's maturity in forgiving techno to tommy's very emotional response while he used those emotions to achieve the result that entertained him. and that's why it's really hard for me to tell for sure how he cared about tommy during that period of time. though tommy definitely cared about him and still does. what i really like about c!tommy is that he doesn't give up on people. he recognized multiple times during s1 that wilbur he knew was gone but he still didn't give up on him. and i feel like revivedbur is using that specific trait of tommy's to get to him the best rn. because tommy recognized that wilbur was trying to manipulate him during that first stream but like he said to ghostbur, wilbur is molding him like clay, knowing exactly what to say and how to act around tommy to have him stick around. and god i would love to get the interactions between niki and tommy, like we got during pogtopia when wilbur was getting worse and worse. and hhhh i just want the family dynamic interactions and i want to enjoy wilbur being nice to phil without having to worry if wilbur is even sincere. please let me have one thing!

and ooh i didn't make the connection before but there's definitely a similarity between wilbur blowing manburg up and niki burning the l'mantree! most obvious one being both of them being in a horrible mental state when doing it. there's just something about wilbur being visibly relieved after pressing the button, finally free and niki believing l'manburg had to be let go off and the l'mantree being the last symbol of hope for rebuilding. just the contrast of everyone gathering around the tree on the 16th with hope and then around its remains on doomsday with absolutely nothing left.

#replies

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passionate-reply · 3 years ago

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In 1993, Billy Idol--yes, that Billy Idol--went completely mad and made an electronic album full of futuristic themes, samples, and techno beats. Many consider Cyberpunk one of the worst albums of all time, but on this week’s installment of Great Albums, we provide a somewhat more positive approach. Check out the video, or read the transcript below the break!

Welcome to Passionate Reply, and welcome to Great Albums! In this installment, I’ll be taking a look at an artist one might not normally associate with the usual “pantheon” of synthesizer jockeys I usually talk about: Billy Idol. Initially known as the frontman of punk outfit Generation X, Idol found success as a solo artist in the early 1980s, fusing tough-as-nails punk aesthetics with a lavish, almost camp sense of glam, and his visually arresting pop-rock made him an MTV-friendly star of the “Second British Invasion.” While one couldn’t fairly argue that Idol was an “electronic musician,” his early work does contain moments of mild electro-curiosity, perhaps most notably the mercurial ballad, “Eyes Without a Face.”

Music: “Eyes Without a Face”

But despite the minor synth touches of the hit single “Eyes Without a Face,” few in the 1980s could have possibly expected the turn Idol’s career would eventually take by the time of his 5th studio LP: 1993’s Cyberpunk. Cyberpunk is, of course, an album with a reputation that precedes it, and that reputation is not a particularly good one. Cyberpunk is a deeply fraught album, which commercially underperformed upon release, and did even worse in the eyes of critics, with the magazine Q dubbing it the 5th worst album of all time. In the nearly 30 years since the album’s release, opinions on it don’t seem to have softened that much, either. But as with everything I choose to talk about, I think Cyberpunk is worth listening to. I think it’s a daring and challenging work of art, and one that stands on its own terms when approached head-on. Whether you’re familiar with this album or not, I encourage you to give it a fresh listen, and a fair shake.

Music: “Wasteland”

Perhaps the most immediately apparent feature of Cyberpunk is its increasingly electronic soundscape, including a prominent sample-based hook on the track “Wasteland.” The album was created in less than a year, and chiefly through use of computers and digital audio software, which Idol evidently found easier to explore and use than earlier forms of music technology. I’m partial to the argument that sees the use of digital software as perfectly compatible with the famed DIY ethos of punk, and hence, not far from Idol’s wheelhouse at all. In the 1990s, computers were still something that far from everyone owned, but in our contemporary world of Soundcloud rappers on seemingly every street, it’s easier to accept the notion of computer music as a grassroots, egalitarian field where even the unskilled are welcome--perhaps even moreso than punk ever was, in the 20th Century. This is one sense in which I think Cyberpunk has aged better than anyone could have possibly imagined. Besides pushing the texture of Idol’s music into new territory, Cyberpunk is also a fairly risky album structurally, opening with a sort of manifesto being read, and peppered with brief interludes between its tracks proper.

Music: “Interlude 3”

It’s only fitting that an album so concerned with the bleeding edge of technology might also try to push the boundaries of the still-fresh CD age. Liberated from the confines of designing chiefly for vinyl, artists like Idol were empowered to create CDs that ostensibly had 20 “tracks,” with no need for empty grooves to separate these brief interludes from the album’s major compositions. This avant-garde touch adds significant amounts of texture to the album, and, dare I say, a sense of world-building. Undoubtedly, one main reason why this album was so poorly received at the time is that it is, quite simply, not what one expects a Billy Idol record to sound like--at least, with the possible exception of its second single, “Shock to the System.”

Music: “Shock to the System”

“Shock to the System” feels like something of an orphan in the tracklisting of Cyberpunk. While tracks like “Wasteland” certainly maintain a rough-edged rock mentality about them, and could never be confused for straightforward techno floor-fillers, “Shock to the System” feels more like it was tacked onto the album just so that it would have something that appealed to those who exclusively prefer Idol’s earlier style--and, given that most of Idol’s greatest hits compilations tend to include “Shock to the System” and nothing else from Cyberpunk, this may have worked. Cyberpunk, as a genre, is often concerned with political themes--its great literary progenitor, William Gibson, once said that “the future is already here, but it’s unevenly distributed,” epitomizing the extent to which the intersection between technology and class is a central issue in cyberpunk media. “Shock to the System” is the most overtly political track on Cyberpunk, inspired by the wave of riots that broke out in Los Angeles following the acquittal of police officers alleged to have used excessive force in the arrest of a Black man, Rodney King. While the role of computers in daily life has changed a great deal since the 1990s, police brutality and anti-Blackness have sadly remained quite similar.

Few have commented on the perhaps uncomfortable implications of Idol’s dramatization of the LA riots from outside, which seems to transmute the scene into one of high-tech fantasy while largely eliding over the racial implications of why people were rioting in the first place--something that seems particularly strange when one learns how upset members of the underground “cyberculture” were about the alleged co-opting and appropriation of their culture. Some have characterized Idol as an honest appreciator of cyberpunk who just wanted to make art that engaged with its ideas, and others more cynically consider him a profiteer who thought he could commercialize a more palatable version of the counter-culture. While the latter hypothesis may well be true, I’m not sure if it can rightfully be said that Idol had “no right” to mine cyberculture for inspiration, particularly since cyberculture has often encouraged amateur participation. Still, as a sometime fan of the literary genre myself, I’m tempted to agree with those who have questioned how deep Idol’s understanding of cyberpunk actually was, particularly when faced with tracks like “Neuromancer.”

Music: “Neuromancer”

In William Gibson’s novel of the same name, Neuromancer is a super-advanced AI with the ability to preserve people’s personalities in virtual reality...though you probably wouldn’t have guessed any of that from this track. Many who interviewed Idol seemed to think he had a weak grasp on the finer points of cyberculture, and even Gibson himself, upon meeting Idol, failed to take him seriously. Still, I don’t think it’s entirely fair to draw a line in the sand, as some have done, and say that Idol was particularly, individually, responsible for the dilution of cyberpunk ideals, as presented by authors like Gibson. While it may be easy to poke fun at the clownish, overwrought figure of Idol, as the embodiment of people who love books they don’t understand, it’s not like that many people owned this album. I think the success of popular films like Blade Runner and The Matrix has done much more to simplify and proliferate ideas cribbed from Gibson.

But however you feel about this, it’s clear that Cyberpunk was an album that ended up appealing to nearly no-one--it alienated Idol’s existing fans with its stylistic diversions, as well as feeling too commercial and inauthentic to cyberpunk enthusiasts. Something else that I haven’t seen mentioned in discussion of this album is the fact that Billy Idol really wasn’t the first to combine the ideas of cyberpunk and music. By the early 1990s, industrial acts like Front 242 and Front Line Assembly had already been making electronic music about cyber brain implants for years, albeit largely underground and often unnoticed by rock-focused critics. I can’t help but think that the prior existence of this stuff was yet another factor that caused Cyberpunk’s failure to thrive. Compared to the electronic body music scene, Cyberpunk comes across as less subtle, less insider, and much more surface-level.

The cover art of Cyberpunk has attracted nearly as much derision as the associated music. The image of Idol’s face bleeds and distorts “into” and “against” a gridlike field, perhaps the greenish terminal of an early computer screen, a representation of the hacker figure entering the virtual world of cyberspace, and identity blurring along those lines. With its wobbly image distortion and queasy complementary colour palette of yellow and purple, it instantly evokes not only cyberpunk aesthetics generally, but more particularly the fusion between cyberpunk and another popular aesthetic of the early 90s: psychedelia, which experienced a substantial resurgence around this time, related to rave culture and its embrace of hallucinogenic party drugs. So-called “cyberdelic” themes abound on the album as well, particularly on the hypnotic “Adam In Chains,” a track that sounds less like 80s New Wave, and more like 90s New Age.

Following the release and subsequent panning of Cyberpunk in the 1990s, Billy Idol went silent for over a decade. While he claimed that his disinterest in making new music was rooted moreso in mismanagement by Chrysalis Records than it was the album’s failure, it’s very tempting to look for a correlation here. Over the years, Idol was often asked if he ever planned to make more electronic music, and consistently claimed that he was chiefly interested in guitar-centric rock, while never completely trashing his vision for Cyberpunk. True to his word, when Idol finally did return to music with 2005’s Devil’s Playground, he delivered on his “classic” sound, and he’s continued to do so ever since.

Music: “Scream”

My favourite track on Cyberpunk is its lead single, the total showstopper “Heroin.” “Heroin” is actually a cover of a song by the seminal Velvet Underground, and it’s everything I think a cover ought to be: exciting, bizarre, and capable of taking something familiar and kicking it into a whole new territory. What’s the point of covering something without changing it and doing something a bit different? “Heroin” is naturally one of the most psychedelic-oriented tracks on the album, being a cover of a drug-themed 1960s classic, as well as one of the tracks with the most influence from dance genres like techno, boasting a very appealing extended outro that makes it feel like a 12” remix. While I think Cyberpunk is a fascinating album, “Heroin” is the one track I think really crosses the bridge from being interesting to being, quite simply, good, and it’s something I’m much more inclined to sit down and listen to recreationally. That’s everything for today--thanks for listening!

Music: “Heroin”

#music #great albums #album review #album reviews #billy idol #cyberpunk

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