#help me why did i do this to myself
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Dtawing Challenge
So I decided to do something pretty crazy and do a project based around the concept of the Pan-American highway. It'll involve my OC Josephine journeying up from the (well one of them, at least) southern terminus all the way up to the north of Alaska. I've also planned it such that it will be done within 100 drawings exactly. There will be a surreal twist to this, and a friend (or two) may join her along the way.
Here is the full list of locations in order (also I like funny names):
CHILE
Quellon
Puerto Montt
Los Angeles
Concepción
Santiago
Valparaiso
Viña Del Mar
Antofagasta
Iquique
PERU
Tacna
Lake Titicaca
Cusco
Machu Picchu
Nazca
Lima
Piura
ECUADOR
Machala
Guayaquil
Manta
Quito
Middle of the World City
Tulcan
COLOMBIA
Pasto
Cali
Bogotá
Medellín
Turbo
PANAMA
Darién Gap
Yaviza
Bayano Lake
Panama City
Panama Canal
Santiago de Veraguas
David
COSTA RICA
Paso Canoas
Uvita
Cartago
San José
Peñas Blancas
NICARAGUA
Rivas
Jinotepe
Managua
Esteli
El Espino
HONDURAS
San Marcos de Colon
Choluteca
Tegucigalpa
San Lorenzo
El Amatillo
EL SALVADOR
San Miguel
San Salvador
Santa Ana
GUATEMALA
San Cristobal
Jutiapa
Cuilapa
Guatemala City
Quetzaltenango
La Mesilla
MEXICO
Comitán
San Cristobal de las Casas
Tuxtla Gutiérrez
Salina Cruz
Oaxaca
Tehuacán
Puebla
Mexico City
Tampico
Ciudad Victoria
Monterrey
Nuevo Laredo
UNITED STATES (CONTIGUOUS)
Bigfoot
San Antonio
El Paso
Truth or Consequences/Elephant Butte
Albuquerque
Santa Fe
Colorado Springs
Denver
Cheyenne
Billings
Helena
Great Falls
Sweet Grass
CANADA
Lethbridge
Calgary
Red Deer
Edmonton
Dawson Creek
Fort St. John
Muncho Lake
Whitehorse
Destruction Bay
Canada-Alaska Border
UNITED STATES (ALASKA)
Northway Junction
Delta Junction
Fairbanks
E. L. Patton Yukon River Bridge
Coldfoot
Prudhoe Bay
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here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.
#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later#i still might make something else later#enough art for now#i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure#it's smack in the middle of end semester exams#ink blot#avatar fanart#avatar the last airbender#atla#artists on tumblr#fanart#avatar aang#why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff.#can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art?#anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable.#I have more control over stuff and i love the result#so#i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done#and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so#yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee!#if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw#not healthy at all
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I really like kafhoshi ... it good.... Ther s so much potential and so much material to work with AND YET THERES LIKE NOTHING!!!!! *Rolls up my sleeves* gotta do everything myself in this damn house...
#kafhoshi#kafka x hoshina#kafka/hoshina#jk jk i will not be doing everything. bc i cannot write. and i dont mean im not great at it i like have a legit mental block#ill draw tho!!!!!!!!! i will draw!!!!!!!!#i just think about... how theyre conpeting for the same spot (tho hoshina already has that spot hes fighting to keep it)#and how hoshina was the one to vouch for kafka to be passed as a cadet (partially due to suspicion of him but still)#and also indirectly says that part of why he did that/keeps him around is because he's a stubborn guy who never gives up and that reminds -#him of himself (bc hes been told to give up his whole life too and he still hasnt. theyre both stubborn bastards)#and that hes been ''taken in by his charm'' (along with everyone else cus everyone cant help but love him)#and also they canonically train together sometimes. alone. together. come on man thats such an easy target to make it gay#just have someone pin the other person to a surface while sparring and have there be Tension and Energy there. easy.#just come onnnnnnn if you dont have ideas ASK ME#ASK ME FOR IDEAS. ESPECIALLY FOR WRITING CUS I CANT DO THAT MYSELF I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD THO
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Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere
…
Why did you ..
#sadnees#can you hear me#you broke my heart#this is a cry for help#heart been broke so many times#i still love you#the day i loved you#i loved you#i am in pain#heart break#you broke my fucking heart#heartbreak#heartbroken#please#please please please#please help#denial#hopelessly devoted to you#greif#you’re losing me#losing myself#did you miss me?#i miss him#did you go and make promises you can't keep?#how could i do this to myself#don’t let me down#just why#whyyyy#emotional wounds#spilled emotions
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was subjected today to the world's cutest form of peer pressure: having an ice cube pressed upon me by a very insistent 2yo, and then having my hand pushed toward my mouth until i ate the ice cube. they didn't prepare me for this in the just say no unit of health class.
#Reader‚ i ate the ice cube#i guess technically it isn't really peer pressure unless i consider myself peers with a 2yo#which i do not#it was super cute omg just like ummmm why aren't you eating this yet. did u forget where ur mouth is. here let me help u#my posts#kidz these days
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LIES: Palestine is murdering civilians.
TRUTH: Palestine is expelling occupiers.
LIES: Palestine is attacking Israel.
TRUTH: Palestine is standing upon its rights in its own lands.
LIES: Hamas is giving Israel reasons to attack them.
TRUTH: Israel has already been attacking Palestinians without a reason for years. Every resistance counts and weakens Israel.
LIES: Israel is the victim.
TRUTH: Israel is suffering for its sins for the innocent children they have killed.
#free palestine#palestine#and here we are seeing hypocrite peoples posts and how Palestinians are wrong and terrorists#do you even know what you are talking about do you even know the history of these lands#i am sure that you don't bc if you did you wouldn't even dare to open your dirty mouth#it is very tragic how the whole world was playin 3 monkeys when israel was attacking and bombing and killing and raping Palestinians#none of you gave a shit#none of you said a word#ever since i know myself there was pain and blood and tears in Palestine#and the couse was always isarael#ever since i was a kid i protested israel in meetings and press briefings#i have seen the pain of my muslim sisters and brothers i have heard their screams for help#and now this shameless people coming here and saying Palestinians are wrong and they should have picked a more peaceful methods#hah don't make me laugh#what peace are you talking about#whose peace would be a better question actually#why is it okay when muslims are hurting and wrong when others are????#there is hell for israel#it is the only place they can go after all#the bottom of the hell
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i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed
#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant#its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things#we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt?#i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an#me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could#feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly#accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore#what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back#with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other??#why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used#to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this??#i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting#for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our#bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us??#im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70#yapping#vent
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uwaw,,,,,,,so different,,,,,,,
#(i have 7 more pages to go why did i overestimate myself)#it’s the most unserious comic too help me 😭😭😭😭#i hope i can get my work shit done fast so i have more down time to do…..anything honestly#(i’m just not gonna render most of the panels………..)#hehe#mimiart#satosugu#jjk
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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So I decided to randomly pick a Clone wars episode to watch, and I regret it greatly.
Especially because this is my first ever episode I'm watching... I should've gone in order.
#clone wars#the clone wars#star wars#why did i do this to myself#god help me#I'll finish this episode and then I'll go in order like a normal person#God I'm an idiot
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Sometimes you think you're doing fine. Then you look at how you've behaved over the past weeks/months. And well, you were wrong.
#i should have known when i started falling asleep every time i stopped doing something and still felt exhausted afterwards#or when i started craving sweet greasy foods#and DEFINITIVELY when i stopped making fic-plots as lil' bedtime stories for myself#i've been doing this since i was 12 how on earth did i not notice their absence ?#(that's also why i haven't posted anything 😭 no bedtime plotting means nothing to write)#new goal: self care#sorry for this post guys#it's just that i got a wake-up call when my parents told me i should watch the Olympics because it's good memories to have and all...#and i almost cried when i realized i COULDN'T#because i was so damn tired and not fine at all#(which puts in a new light the ease with which i wrote Gale's pov on the angst fics but that's something for another day)#i've been working on this for a few days but thought i'd post this if anyone needs it too 🤗#i love you guys 🥰#you've definitely helped#ame rambles
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#there's a flood coming to my city 😬#the wave is supposed to hit tomorrow at night#i'm a bit worried?#they say it's gonna be similae to 1997#which is. not good.#everyone at work was panicking which did not help#they said the water is almost sold out in shops#and i couldn't go to the shop to buy it because i was. at work.#so i messaged my dad and he bought some for me and he'll drive over to bring it to me#his town doesn't have a big river so you can still buy water there lmao#i asked him to buy me some non perishable food like rice crackers while he was at it too#and now i'm scared that he and my mom will buy out the entire shop and i'll have to eat those things for months 😬#they can be like that sometimes haha#yeah they most definitely will bring over the whole car full of food what do i do 😭#anyway my main concern is the lack of electricity because the stupid stove in this flat doesn't use gas ;_;#gotta charge the powerbanks 💪#people are also worried that we'll go to work tomorrow and then it'll turn out the road is flooded and we'll have to stay at work overnight#lmaoooo why won't the company just give everyone the week off?? (because of capitalism)#my sister has a two months old baby and she is leaving the city tonight to stay with our grandma#they do need clean water for the baby and the government recommended the children and the elderly to evacuate#i'd evacuate myself if it wasn't for my work 😭 (capitalism)#aghhh i'm sure it's not gonna be that bad#it's just my first flood you see#well technically the second one because i was born in 1997 hahaha but yeah. yeah.#i do like my warm meals and hot tea and i do like to shower#i do hope it'll last 2 days max!! but a friend says it can last longer depending on the damage ;_;#i know i can't really complain because i at least live on the 5th floor#my sister lives on the first floor. right by the river. yeah...#not to mention the people in surrounding villages#someone at work said that the water reached the third floor in some places in 1997 wtf 😭
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i had the most bizarre and extremely vivid nsfw dream about dan and phil
aaaand
i have no idea how to even begin to feel about it
#like it was a lucid dream too#and it was looooong#pj was there too lmao#but not for the reasons you think lol#in the dream i also went on tumblr and saw everyone talking about it and making gifsets and fan art about it#which is really fucking funny#the way everyone in my dream including myself were treating whatever the fuck that was like it was normal and wholesome lmaoo#guys this dream is gonna be burned into my psyche#why the hell was it SO VIVID#dan and phil#amazingphil#daniel howell#dnp#phan#dan and phil why did u do this to me#lol#i think i might need help guys#fuck nasty confirmed
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Note to self: never again let it slip to an irl person that I write whump
#told two of my classmates today#I’m exhausted so it just kinda slipped out#plus I assumed they’d be at least a little ok about it#given that they’re into fandom stuff#but no#they definitely thought I was some kind of freak#and I wasn’t about to try and defend myself#‘writing this stuff is a kind of therapy for me I promise I’m not sadistic or creepy!’#yeah that would’ve gone over wonderfully#*sighs*#figures that one of the only personal things I shared this whole semester gets this reaction#why do I even try#I never talk about myself#I let everyone else vent and tell me everything#and when I try to open up I screw myself#trin rambles#vent#ignore me I’ll be fine#it’s just a really yucky day today#I’m not in a great place mentally and that did nothing good for me#hopefully sleep will help#…if I manage to get any sleep that is#ugh#delete later
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i was bored, so i made them into cubes
#mystery skulls animated#minecraft#my art#<- ???? i guess?#don't ask why the shaders doing something weird with the deadbeat; idk why the dots are like that either#also mystery's hair was a pain to get right#and i had to mess with the collar texture so the cheek fluff wouldn't look weird#(and god forbid you try to dye it anything but white)#but other than all that- pretty happy with these!#i know i didn't make the textures completely from scratch; but still#for my first time messing with textures like this; i think i did alright!#prolly helps that i've made skins for myself before#special thanks to ascel for helping me actually get them into the game#also: much respect to anyone who uses blockbench#tried to use it and like. god. you need so many cubes to do stuff. can't make it any other shape it has to be cubes.#would love to learn how to use it; but uh. not for a bit;; dkdndkdj
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i could write a 100 page essay about what a fucking masterpiece warframe is. i will write many words in the tags. please readem if you want my 'tism.
#ive been playing on and off since 2019 but its only recently when i dumped destiny 2 (probably for good) and picked it up#to fill the grind-shaped hole in my heart#that i have uncovered just how FUCKING INCREDIBLE warframe is#everything about it makes me incredibly autistic#from its masterful utilization of an incredibly styled and individual soundtrack full of absolute bangers#to its seemingly unique understanding of how and why an MMO is special to and because of its players#and its truly special story- a uniquely human take on the “post-ruin scifi” tale#it knows exactly how and when to yank on your heart to make you weep like a baby#and it knows exactly when you're going to get angry and want vengeance#and it knows when to let you let loose and unleash hell#SPOILERS FOR THE NEW WAR AHEAD#IF YOU THINK YOU COULD PLAY THE GAME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO#SPOILER WARNING#i think the narmer corruption of fortuna was genuinely one of the most gutpunchingly horrible moments ive ever experienced in a video game#i started playing when fortuna was already in the game but the story of fortuna and vox solaris was really what made warframe stand out 2 m#i would drop into the orb vallis as gauss and dash around doing bounties and fishing and mining because i really loved everything about#fortuna and wanted to spend as much time there as possible#for me vox solaris was my proudest achievement (in warframe.) to say “i helped that! i did that!” was an incredibly good feeling#the story really spoke to me on a deeper level#and vox solaris has always been my favorite faction as a result#so to do absolutely everything that i could#to lift together with my tenno brothers and sisters and yet STILL fail?#and to have it rubbed in my face by the corruption of the greatest shining pillar of hope in the warframe universe?#felt like i got kicked in the stomach#i felt sad and angry. but most of all i was DRIVEN.#which is GOOD. because RARELY does a video game present you the “you lost” scenario and have it feel not only satisfyingly painful#but MOTIVATING.#my only complaint with the new war is that i didnt get to hack ballas to pieces by myself#i had real flashbacks to running around helping people as gauss while approaching the final boss with erra#and to step onto the ballas arena as gauss prime. i nearly came from the narrative significance
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