#help me why did i do this to myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bare1ythere · 2 months ago

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Reliving your childhood through nostalgic comfort media is OUT. Re-experiencing childlike dread by listening to a bunch of vocaloid horror songs and watching videos on old creepypasta when your anxiety is already elevated is IN

#shut up me #help me why did i do this to myself #its kinda funny but also there is a real part of my brain thats wailing ''FREDDY FAZBEAR IS GONNA GET ME!!!!'' and its not shutting up

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bluespiritshonour · 9 months ago

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here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.

#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later #i still might make something else later #enough art for now #i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure #it's smack in the middle of end semester exams #ink blot #avatar fanart #avatar the last airbender #atla #artists on tumblr #fanart #avatar aang #why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff.#can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art?#anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable.#I have more control over stuff and i love the result #so #i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done #and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so #yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee!#if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw #not healthy at all

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crypt1dcorv1dae · 7 months ago

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I really like kafhoshi ... it good.... Ther s so much potential and so much material to work with AND YET THERES LIKE NOTHING!!!!! *Rolls up my sleeves* gotta do everything myself in this damn house...

#kafhoshi #kafka x hoshina #kafka/hoshina #jk jk i will not be doing everything. bc i cannot write. and i dont mean im not great at it i like have a legit mental block #ill draw tho!!!!!!!!! i will draw!!!!!!!!#i just think about... how theyre conpeting for the same spot (tho hoshina already has that spot hes fighting to keep it)#and how hoshina was the one to vouch for kafka to be passed as a cadet (partially due to suspicion of him but still)#and also indirectly says that part of why he did that/keeps him around is because he's a stubborn guy who never gives up and that reminds -#him of himself (bc hes been told to give up his whole life too and he still hasnt. theyre both stubborn bastards)#and that hes been ''taken in by his charm'' (along with everyone else cus everyone cant help but love him)#and also they canonically train together sometimes. alone. together. come on man thats such an easy target to make it gay #just have someone pin the other person to a surface while sparring and have there be Tension and Energy there. easy.#just come onnnnnnn if you dont have ideas ASK ME #ASK ME FOR IDEAS. ESPECIALLY FOR WRITING CUS I CANT DO THAT MYSELF I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD THO

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lostmf · 9 months ago

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Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere

…

Why did you ..

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gomzdrawfr · 16 days ago

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Bam bing bong, summary of my doodles in 2024

#what a year #ive never compiled it neatly before #i was gonna wait it out cuz i havent finish my Christmas pieces yet but im also like ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh fuck it so yeah hehe #this year I’ve expanded my socials to bluesky and instagram #I’ve always did two collabs this year which is still wild to me (im planning to do more next year hopefully)#(if my social anxiety can just get over it)#in tappy’s voice: gomz no balls #i also need to do more color piece #launching ☕️ this year has helped to do that #to do at least one colored piece each month #i have a video of me going thru my doodles from January to December in the works but i think i might not able to finish it on time #we’ll see #still gotto tackle the last few ☕️ requests after con #this year I’ve drawn a lot more Price!! that’s why he’s the main character this year #i would put Raven but she’s always a main so #im really happy to have found a nice chibi style and stick with it #consistency is always a struggle for me esp with my non chibi style #some of what i drew this year was awful HDJSHSHS but its nice seeing progress #December suit Price is my proudest non-chibi work and I wish to continue that style next year #moving forward I want to continue to improve and do better but also take it easy #burnt myself out too many times this year due to drawing nearly every day + stress + uni #stress management plan is needed but i SUCK at it #me as a pharmacy student counselling patients [it is important to try to relax and manage stress properly]#what a joke JDJDHDHHD #at least my blood pressure readings stabilized finally on gawd it was on the borders for a few months #it’s been a fun year and I’ve made a lot of new friends too #drabbled in a few fandom and community here and there #thank you for having me everyone :)#gummmyart #art summary 2024

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jesuis-snips · 1 year ago

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LIES: Palestine is murdering civilians.

TRUTH: Palestine is expelling occupiers.

LIES: Palestine is attacking Israel.

TRUTH: Palestine is standing upon its rights in its own lands.

LIES: Hamas is giving Israel reasons to attack them.

TRUTH: Israel has already been attacking Palestinians without a reason for years. Every resistance counts and weakens Israel.

LIES: Israel is the victim.

TRUTH: Israel is suffering for its sins for the innocent children they have killed.

#free palestine #palestine #and here we are seeing hypocrite peoples posts and how Palestinians are wrong and terrorists #do you even know what you are talking about do you even know the history of these lands #i am sure that you don't bc if you did you wouldn't even dare to open your dirty mouth #it is very tragic how the whole world was playin 3 monkeys when israel was attacking and bombing and killing and raping Palestinians #none of you gave a shit #none of you said a word #ever since i know myself there was pain and blood and tears in Palestine #and the couse was always isarael #ever since i was a kid i protested israel in meetings and press briefings #i have seen the pain of my muslim sisters and brothers i have heard their screams for help #and now this shameless people coming here and saying Palestinians are wrong and they should have picked a more peaceful methods #hah don't make me laugh #what peace are you talking about #whose peace would be a better question actually #why is it okay when muslims are hurting and wrong when others are????#there is hell for israel #it is the only place they can go after all #the bottom of the hell

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angelnumber27 · 7 months ago

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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.

#I fucking hate having bpd #while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you #I feel so stupid #I feel so stupid for believing all the lies #but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist #I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed #it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time #I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead #it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid #being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world #for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately #like that was the plan all along #he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day #I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me #i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him #I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me #not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together #I’ll never be that beautiful again #and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over #it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all #he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up #nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken #it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover #I deserved it but it still hurts my heart #I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me #there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other #but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked #why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient

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anxiously-sidequesting · 3 months ago

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i absolutely LOVE flawed fictional women so Ione is perfect to me because of her trust issues and how that affects the people around her but at the same time Velma Von Venkman, another fictional woman, is the target of these trust issues and as a result is isolated and avoided by Ione (and the rest of the scholars) and i find myself shedding solemn tears in my personal conflict

#i made an oath myself to never blame a fictional woman for anything ever #ione is also My Loving Wife and i could never be angry at my Wife #but velma........... the universe is so cruel to me.#why did kingsisle introduce a super interesting npc dynamic and not develop it. idc about Bartleby i wanna see what velma is doing!#i might make a post about velma soon but i find it really interesting how she portrays her troubled relationship with the others #i think it does bother her in a way? but she's acting super cool about it. like she acknowledges this is unfair and an important issue #but she just has such an easygoing flair about it. it also helps that the end of the world is the most glaring issue atm but still #ANYWAYS. ione please make up with velma and give her a hug #wizard101 #wiz101 #w101 #text posts

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puppppppppy · 1 year ago

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i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant #its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things #we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt?#i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an #me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could #feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly #accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore #what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back #with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other??#why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used #to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this??#i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting #for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our #bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us??#im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70 #yapping #vent

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lcuyscs · 7 hours ago

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my favourite thing to do is drink an energy drink on an empty stomach and spend the whole day shaking and having heart palpitations

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duckiemimi · 1 year ago

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uwaw,,,,,,,so different,,,,,,,

#(i have 7 more pages to go why did i overestimate myself)#it’s the most unserious comic too help me 😭😭😭😭#i hope i can get my work shit done fast so i have more down time to do…..anything honestly #(i’m just not gonna render most of the panels………..)#hehe #mimiart #satosugu #jjk

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nexus-nebulae · 6 months ago

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me as a kid: i have all these problems

every adult around me: you're not old enough to know what's wrong with you, you're fine

me as an adult: i still have all these problems

my doctors after i finally got the opportunity to choose them myself: oh my fucking god why have you never gotten help for all these problems. you should have seen me 10 years ago

#problems i have finally gotten help for that i was told i was not old enough to know about:#AMPS (was told it was anxiety and then when i kept coming back they said it was fibro Quite Literally just to get me to shut up)#(like the doc i just saw literally said 'they diagnose fibromyalgia here when they dont know what the problem is but dont feel like testing)#multiple food allergies (was also told the stomach pain and vomiting was anxiety)#seborrheic dermatitis (i was told 'youre just stressed thats why you have a rash')#(which- if im so stressed my skin is literally dying MAYBE I STILL NEED HELP?????????)#autism and adhd (my father knew! but refused to get me assessed bc if i dont have a diagnosis theres no problem right :)#anxiety disorder (oh so when I'm in pain i DO have anxiety but when i say i have anxiety I'm overreacting okay)#dyscalculia and possibly dyslexia ('you just need to try harder' I've asked for a tutor five times)#some of my doctors don't actually believe me about some of these problems BECAUSE i have no records from when i was a kid #they're like 'it just popped up at 18? seems suspicious......' like I WASN'T ALLOWED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR'S UNTIL THEN #there's definitely more but I'm still mad abt it #i might not be in a wheelchair Almost All The Time if i had gotten help BEFORE i lost half the feeling in my legs #i KNEW the fibro was a BS diagnosis #i tried to get assessed for autism at 16 and was told i have schizotypal personality disorder instead with literally zero testing #like my psych just refused to allow me to get tested for autism she was like 'no you have spd i Just Know'#same psych that said there was zero way i had anything like DID because my symptoms didn't present Exactly like the Only other #patient at the clinic with DID. i want to note that that was a 14 year old boy still being actively abused #and i was a 20 year old who was in a safe environment and had distanced myself from my abusers and stressors

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isekyaaa · 2 months ago

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Another story idea. One of those basic ass stories where this child is abused by her family due to her sister (adopted) came and brainwashed the whole family into loving her and hating mc. In the end mc is framed for some crime and is ultimately executed. Only after mc dies does the family realize their fault when the whole world becomes destroyed. Following me? Basic ass brainwashing story. Anyway, here's the twist. Time gets reversed, and mc awakens to the point in time ten years before her death. But the twist? Mc isn't the main character. The story takes place from the viewpoint of one of the brainwashed siblings that slowly remembers their previous life.

#story ideas #i'm reading 'a world without you' and i am tired #why do they always go through brainwashing route?#'mc was horribly abused abandoned and neglected bc they were brainwashed!!!!!!!!!'#so unoriginal and boring #but what i find even more surprising is like...#how so many of the readers/audience wants them to die for what they did #these people were brainwashed and not in control of their actions but regardless they are the scum of the earth #idk man #i'll never get used to how people in this day and age feel empowered by the purity movement and like....#lack any and all sympathy/empathy for others #so it'd be fun to make a story based upon one of the characters they vilify #this character would slowly realize their past life #'why do i always feel guilty around this person?'#'i know they're terrified of me but i just want to help them in any way i can't #and then when they remember their past finally it's like #'i finally understand. how can i live with myself knowing what i put them through?'#it'd be a boring story but it'd be fun to shove in those people's faces

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pilonciillo · 17 days ago

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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety

#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works #why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being #released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy #last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get #panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the #parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to #steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out #all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone #spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli #telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s #nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank #track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the #business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and #video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me #FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s #not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m #much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel #safe #OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she #got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like #that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s #crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull #shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to #mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told #me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check #key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS #allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no #consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way

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petrow1tch · 3 months ago

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They weren't lying, this psychological recovery journey got hands

#3rd month of taking antidepressants and knowing that There Is something majorly fucked up within me #i feel like im becoming normal bit by bit but also now my other problems become my aparent to me #i started to notice i have this childlike simplistic attitude towards wonder and relationships but also at the same time i understand the #severity of troubles around me on the level of burned out adult #but also it takes me from a week to several years to realize what people meant #and yet sometimes i get everything clearly #there are still ways to go #i still have to find a therapist #cuz psych diagnosed me with BPD; geberal anxiety disorder and ADHD and said i have autism signs that could explain the development of BPD #but all he can do is medical treatment which is not the kind you need for BPD and autism #im not saying you can treat autism but yeah he meant i need a psychotherapist for these instead of psychiatrist #i hope i can complete this mental health journey bcuz i feel like i finally got hit with all the weight of burnout i had all these years #i did some creative work in the august/early september but rn its all touching grass in real world and playing games #like i cook i help my family with chores i play fortnite i clean up my room i go out at 1am to look at the stars #all of my own volition without feeling like i need to push myself to do this #I'm scared that making art is not one of those things #i often have a thought that maybe art isnt really for me and in a perfect world i wouldnt do it #but then why am i so good at it #like...#petrotalk

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epsilon-13 · 7 months ago

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So I decided to randomly pick a Clone wars episode to watch, and I regret it greatly.

Especially because this is my first ever episode I'm watching... I should've gone in order.

#clone wars #the clone wars #star wars #why did i do this to myself #god help me #I'll finish this episode and then I'll go in order like a normal person #God I'm an idiot

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