#help me why did i do this to myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bare1ythere · 9 months ago

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Reliving your childhood through nostalgic comfort media is OUT. Re-experiencing childlike dread by listening to a bunch of vocaloid horror songs and watching videos on old creepypasta when your anxiety is already elevated is IN

#shut up me #help me why did i do this to myself #its kinda funny but also there is a real part of my brain thats wailing ''FREDDY FAZBEAR IS GONNA GET ME!!!!'' and its not shutting up

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clumsypuppy · 3 months ago

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eos pt. 2

#im actually close to finishing the game naow... i got to dialga's fight but got my ass kicked #this game is making me emotional wtf.. i teared up a little when my team reunited with the guild #and when they told them the truth abt grovyle and everyone agreed to help them. thats so. peace and love oh my god #also chatot.. i was wrong abt him he comes thru even if hes annoying. “prized recruits” YOURE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY #team skull also. like i cannot defend them being assholes but i still felt bad seeing them beat up #this game is so good at making me feel things towards characters i was actually filled with seething rage everytime i had to watch #team skull scheme against me and not do anything. ALSO the reason why i had such a grudge against chatot to begin with #is bc he THREW ME UNDER THE BUS bc of the apples without letting me EXPLAIN MYSELF #SO IT WAS REALLY FUNNY WHEN HE SAID HES FILLING IN FOR WIGGLYTUFF AS LEADER AND EVERYONE WENT “DEADASS?”#damn i can see why so many ppl make pmd ask blogs. im actually tempted to use my team if i didnt already know #that i would probably get bored and do smth else after a month <- did this multiple times while in pokeask #pokemon mystery dungeon #pmd #explorers of sky #eos #my art #myart #doodles #pmd oc #marmalade #neptune

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adhdandcomics · 4 months ago

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i’m very sorry that society has made you feel this way about your fellow disabled people. i hope you can reflect on why you believe that other people with worse symptoms than you are bringing down this community and giving us a bad name.

(especially in the context of a vent post that is not indicative of whether or not we are “actually trying” in real life.)

i am also sorry that society makes you believe that in order for disabled people to be respected we have to consistently be working toward a nebulous goal of self improvement and overcoming of disability as to not be perceived as lazy and inconsiderate by the world.

i hope you can be kinder and more patient with yourself and your disability in the future, too.

#i’m not mad even though your tags on my post were extremely rude and disrespectful. i understand why you feel this way #it’s the way that everyone in the world talks about this issue to me and everyone else who struggles with it to.#it’s pretty much impossible not to internalize some of that #but a key thing in disability activism is the realization that disability is actually disabling. and that there are wildly different #presentations of disability in different people. people with the same disabilities may have vastly different capacities for dif activity #internalized ableism #ableism #it’s also just a bit funny that the whole reason i made this post was because of the people who tell me exactly what you did in your tags #that all i have to do is work harder and try harder and #refusing to realize that my ability fluctuates day to day and hour to hour #there’s weeks where i’m on time every day. and then i have a moment that lapses into hours of stuporific depression #or similar exec dysfunction #that makes it impossible to consider going anywhere or doing anything.#and during episodes like this the alternative to being late is not being on time. it is simply not doing anything #time blindness is a debilitating symptom i experience. it has soured hundreds of events and relationships for me. this is not because #i just don’t try. or i don’t want to. or i do not torture myself about it. i promise #an explanation of which i am only delving into in the hopes that it enlightens you to my previous posts logic a bit more #not because i believe anyone has to justify their disability to anyone to be owed respect and compassion #i hope this helps a little

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javierduffy · 4 months ago

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different.

#can’t help but recognize how kieran is a fantastic unspoken representation of autism #i see a lot of myself in him and the way that he is so isolated and lonely and yet cannot help but perform and find solace in his daily #routines is so heartbreaking in its own way to me. like no matter what you do or where you are you have no choice but to be yourself and fun #nction the only way you know how and it will never not be vastly different from everyone else. and when you’re surrounded by people who DONT #like you and will not accommodate and are not at all willing or curious in understanding WHY you are the way you are you’re left to just ….#live in your own head forever. i’m certain kieran thinks many wonderous things and sees the world in a beautiful light and i know this becau #se i am autistic myself and because of that i see the world in colours that neurotypical people will never comprehend but we’re never allowe #d to see the world through kieran’s eyes. we are never allowed to see where his heart rests or the poetry he waxes or what he believes or wh #at his triggers are or what’s a stim and what’s just habit or anything. anything. the breeze sounds different to him and he can hear birds f #or miles and the sun makes every hair on his arms tingle and that’s why he wears layers everywhere and every green he sees sings a beautiful #song to him and yet we’ll never know. because he is too different even for the van der linde gang. he is incomprehensible to them and he doe #s all of his 4/5 daily tasks over and over and over again and while he would always do them and will always do them because they are innate #to him no one will ever know just what they mean to him. no one will ever know that kieran duffy can distinguish the horses behind him by th #eir breathing cadences behind him as he scrubs the spare saddle with the sun high above his head and he can know when something is wrong bec #ause he can hear it. no one will ever know that he CAN read but the only thing he’s interested in is books about wildlife and horses and fis #h in particular and no one will ever know because he knows no one will ever understand or even care and if they do they’ll be sure to make #it a point to tell him how DIFFERENT he is. and realistically even if the vdl’s DID come around to liking him he STILL would NEVER be unders #tood. i know for certain he would always be described as odd and despite its new affectionate approach he would still be the odd one out wit #h his daily routines and his texture preferences and his inability to make eye contact and his erratic seemingly random triggers and his #anxiety that seems to have a mind of its own. no one would ever know how bright the tree leaves are in his eyes or how every horse smells di #fferent or why sometimes it’s more fun to reel his rod in over and over instead of actually catching a fish. he will always be …. different.#sorry. novel moment. he means a lot to me.#i’m not super happy with how he looks in these but i’m just trying to draw more :’) i always say that but i always mean it too #also if my novel makes no sense then just ignore it. it’s late and my head hurts. i tend to get tangential #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #kieran duffy #image #art #hero draws sometimes

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hplonesomeart · 6 months ago

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Stabby stabby time 😌✨

(Original meme audio source can be found via this YouTube video!!)

#once again I’m so bad at putting silly short meme stuff onto my main channel without thinking it’s gonna humiliate me HELP 🥲#l’ll get over it this is my exposure therapy hour #it doesn’t help that I told classmates in college about my YouTube channel and didn’t think about how that would fuck with my anxiety lol #like ‘OH NO WHY DID I DO THAT THEY’LL KNOW I’M CRINGE AND WEIRD NOW’#listen if people can’t tolerate you at your cringiest and you feel like you need to mask around them 24/7 then it’s not worth #you gotta be your authentic self and enjoy your interests regardless of how people view it #trying to people please the masses is only going to wear you out and make you feel disconnected from yourself #‘fuck it we ball’ mentality saves lives tbh #….I don’t know I’m still trying to pep talk myself into it being socially acceptable to post sillies :’)#for now this will be a Tumblr exclusive until I stop being a baby about it✨#(also wouldn’t it be funny if my channel has a running joke of everyone not knowing what Puzzles age is? Just a thought)#(first Meggy asks him about it and now I’m asking too)#(no wonder the guy pulled out a knife people won’t shut up about his age lmfao)#mr puzzles smg4 meme #mr puzzles animated #smg4 girl how old are you I’m getting nervous meme #girl how old are you I’m getting nervous mr puzzles meme #hplonesome art

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plasmara · 3 months ago

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dr s3 part 2 spoilers ish episode descriptions

this is so funny i bet that special mission is just a date with nya that they trick him into going to

#picnic 2.0 ?#ACTUALLY PROBABLH IS OTHERWISE WHY WOULDNTHEY BRING IT UP IN P1???? hmmm #they get kai to go too because he’s on so many of their dates it just Makes Sense #kai: hey i really think i should be there it’ll help his memories #meanwhile he came up with the whole idea just to get closer to jay #he’s not third-wheeling anymore he’s driving the whole damn car #oh he’s got memory loss?????? what if i just retcon myself into your love story #this situation is kai’s biggest opportunity yet and he takes it #‘your fave colour used to be red remember?’#‘you told me i looked cool doing spinjitzu’#‘yeah it’s no big deal. but i did propose to u and u did say Yes. so. legally—‘#and then nya kills him #ninjago dragons rising spoilers #ninjago dragons rising #plasmashipping #im sorry this started as a jaya post and somehow i got possessed halfway through #im diseased I can’t help it

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mylove-thresher · 27 days ago

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This was really really really testing my patience.

#I hated this entire fucking shit until the last 5 mins 😭#The black lines helped it so much. Oh my god.#I didn’t want to use thick lines to replicate that other drawing I did for an assignment but. It just wasn’t working.#The one thing I’ve learnt from being an artist is. Uhh. Adapt and change everything every fucking time #I genuinely don’t think I can redo something after I’ve done it #You do something once and then you change. Don’t even try looking back you won’t be able to do anything similar #You just have to do something drop it and move on to the next one with zero expectations just more learning #Goodness gracious I hate myself. Shut up #Honestly I’m happy with how this turned out considering how much I struggled during those two excruciating hours.#I’m surprised this was just 2 hours. It felt like 5 hours at least. But I am not complaining ❤️#Drawing ivan is my new profession now. I guess.#I’m gonna stop yapping I’m tired and I want to eat.#Oh also!!! Figured out what else other than Thresher id like to be called. I like the name Scottie lolz :3 you can call me that now #Why r my online names always so fucking different from my actual name 😭#Alnst #alnst Ivan #alien stage #digital art #IbisPaint x #Really felt like listening to I’m yours by Caviar Noir while drawing but. I like suffering so I didn’t. I heart torture #ALSO MI VIDA LOCA IS BANGER 🔥🔥🔥#DO YOU LOVE ME 😍 DONT YOU HATE ME 😰

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lostmf · 1 year ago

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Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere

…

Why did you ..

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soepwashere · 2 months ago

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Razzmatazz!

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt fanart #tmnt 2018 #save rise of the tmnt #rise mikey #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt stuff #soep art #I actually timed myself with this one #because I’m slow at drawing so that’s something I’ve been working on #and the timer actually helped a lot #I did two timed sessions both an hour and I finished this in one day yippee!!#which I know for some people that’s nothing but again I’m slow so I’m very pleased #hopefully this will keep working for me and I can draw more #I feel like sometimes im so slow it holds me back from getting to create as much as I want or do as many ideas #which is why it's something I've been trying to work at #anywho enjoy this mikey :]

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crypt1dcorv1dae · 1 year ago

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I really like kafhoshi ... it good.... Ther s so much potential and so much material to work with AND YET THERES LIKE NOTHING!!!!! *Rolls up my sleeves* gotta do everything myself in this damn house...

#kafhoshi #kafka x hoshina #kafka/hoshina #jk jk i will not be doing everything. bc i cannot write. and i dont mean im not great at it i like have a legit mental block #ill draw tho!!!!!!!!! i will draw!!!!!!!!#i just think about... how theyre conpeting for the same spot (tho hoshina already has that spot hes fighting to keep it)#and how hoshina was the one to vouch for kafka to be passed as a cadet (partially due to suspicion of him but still)#and also indirectly says that part of why he did that/keeps him around is because he's a stubborn guy who never gives up and that reminds -#him of himself (bc hes been told to give up his whole life too and he still hasnt. theyre both stubborn bastards)#and that hes been ''taken in by his charm'' (along with everyone else cus everyone cant help but love him)#and also they canonically train together sometimes. alone. together. come on man thats such an easy target to make it gay #just have someone pin the other person to a surface while sparring and have there be Tension and Energy there. easy.#just come onnnnnnn if you dont have ideas ASK ME #ASK ME FOR IDEAS. ESPECIALLY FOR WRITING CUS I CANT DO THAT MYSELF I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD THO

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stormingfrost · 4 months ago

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#I’m trying to get back into creativity #after getting stuck in a five month depressive episode #that shit sucked but I’m feeling a little better now #I’m working on some illustrations rn to help but I haven’t sewn anything in so long #especially not for fun. I’ve had a sewing class but that’s different than a hobby #So maybe if I get people do tell me to sew something then I can hold myself accountable? Idk #I’ve got some fabric that would work well #and a lot of random bells. Why do I have so many bells. Where did I get these??#and I restocked on my fabric paint. Rip Joann’s fabric #rotg #rise of the guardians #polls

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jaysarenice · 6 months ago

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Guys I was listening to a song while writing fmsh and all of a sudden I’m like “this is a perfect Joel animatic song” and now I wanna make it but like I need to focus on one project at time

#joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans #life smp #traffic smp #life series #someone help me #please I can’t work on two things at the same time #why did i do this to myself #yapper jay

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nabi-unveiled · 2 months ago

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You are beautiful. You are amazing. I hate you right now.

#when life gives you tangerines #episode six #me: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#why did i do this to myself?#the laundry wasn't worth it #i need a distraction #help 😭😭😭😭#my next prince -> here i come #please be as fun and awesome as everyone says

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momentokori · 23 days ago

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I was looking through old notifications to try and find something, and seeing how much me and an old friend used to talk kinda hurts now

I miss them, but there wasn't anything I could've done. My attempts either went unnoticed or just didn't help. All I can do now is hope they're okay. All I can do is live with the brief memories.

#i didnt even know them that long. barely a fill year. so why do i miss them so much?#that's something i hate about myself. i get attached to easily. i always have. i struggle making friends.#so when i do make a friend i dont leave them alone. i hate it so much. because someone can leave and feel nothing whirk im devastated.#i hate it so much but i dont know how to fix it. im tired of it and im tired of me.#why do i always get attached so easily? they could tell me they like my drawing snd suddenly i think we're childhood friends.#i hate it so much words can't describe. normal people don't act like that. normal people would be happy a weight is lifted off them.#not me. no matter how bad they got. i stayed. i wanted to. i wanted to help. i tried saying goodbye. yet i got nothing in return.#was i not enough? it just makes me think. then it makes me want to try harder to be someone's friend. then they leave.#then i wonder what i did wrong. im sick of it. i love my friends so much even if i barely know them. theyre special to me.#im tired now. but i dont want to go to sleep. not yet.#vent

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gothmikewheeler · 29 days ago

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girl i have fanfics in my head u wouldnt even dream

#fics that i think of when i day dream/ try to fall asleep dump in the tags:#au where st1 happened but nothing since that so mike and will write comics together and el is their iconic character #and they both have a special relationship with the character...#eventually some stuff happens with brenner and or govt being like well ig u guys must know smth ab her since ur writing ab her! and thus #danger... also will still has that slug in him so that would be an issue #and eventually when el comes into the story she is sooo different from how they imagined her #wait i forget do i have others #oh i had one from awhile ago that i rembered where mike gets a vecna vision thats like hiii queen im gonna tormet u to control el and will #and so mikes like ok i'll take myself out of the equation but then like hop or someone stops him and then hes like damn did i make it weird #and eventually goes to visit max and thats all i rlly remember #ohh the buffy au #and some sort of horror au/version of the story that i havent quite worked out #OHHHH THE ONE WHERE !!! mike lowk ghosts will and goes off to college and when will comes to nyc to visit el and everyone he walks into the #apt and gets attacked by a mini mike and hes like ??? U HAVE A SON??? and mike's like yeahhh long story my TA was a catholic........ and so #the party and co has just been helping him raise this kid and i forgot why but i had a good reason that no one told will #i think mike did smth REALLY shitty to him before hs so they didnt wanna say anything bc will walks out of rooms when mike is brought up #my elmike txf au but honestly smth more specific to st but like... imagining the parents are forced to give up one of their kids for smth #like thats just fucked hp hawkins world and joyce refuses and they take will and they take el from terry and they take holly... and somehow #like someone made the wheelers choose holly and theyre like yeah we lowk hate our son bc hes our bastard son wish it couldve been him #(FOX MULDIFICATION AGENDA YK!!!) and idk he tries to get holly back meanwhile el and will meet in where #thinking ab like. karen and ted blaming mike and him blaming himself for holly like mulder with samantha ......#mmm thats all i got rn #if anyone read this far and is interested in hearing me talk more ab any particular one lmk #i will probably never write these bc i do not even have time to write my own stuff and that is literally my profession so

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angryducktimemachine · 3 months ago

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Becoming yourself.

Young Friederick and Friederick now :)

#friederick #brain blorbo #i recently got asked for my ID at a bus ticket control and there is something incredible about realizing that i no longer #look like a [deadname] to people #that i am becoming myself #i kind of started T because well. why not. i wish i could look more like a man to people. but! i did not expect how much it also just #does for me. for feeling like i am. myself.#I'd argue there aren't even that many changes yet (#although it's nice that my voice is finally dropping #but just. KNOWING. knowing that i am turning into someone who is not [deadname] anymore!! like yes that was true before obviously but #for me it's just. i didn't expect hrt actually having that much of an effect on me like. emotional.#and yet.#anyway sorry for rambling it's way past my bedtime #and tbh being on T has made me think about versions of Friederick where he gets to do the same #and what it'd do with him #how much it might help him #looking at your OC like maybe we should medically transition together

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