#help me why did i do this to myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bare1ythere · 4 months ago

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Reliving your childhood through nostalgic comfort media is OUT. Re-experiencing childlike dread by listening to a bunch of vocaloid horror songs and watching videos on old creepypasta when your anxiety is already elevated is IN

#shut up me #help me why did i do this to myself #its kinda funny but also there is a real part of my brain thats wailing ''FREDDY FAZBEAR IS GONNA GET ME!!!!'' and its not shutting up

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hplonesomeart · 29 days ago

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Stabby stabby time 😌✨

(Original meme audio source can be found via this YouTube video!!)

#once again I’m so bad at putting silly short meme stuff onto my main channel without thinking it’s gonna humiliate me HELP 🥲#l’ll get over it this is my exposure therapy hour #it doesn’t help that I told classmates in college about my YouTube channel and didn’t think about how that would fuck with my anxiety lol #like ‘OH NO WHY DID I DO THAT THEY’LL KNOW I’M CRINGE AND WEIRD NOW’#listen if people can’t tolerate you at your cringiest and you feel like you need to mask around them 24/7 then it’s not worth #you gotta be your authentic self and enjoy your interests regardless of how people view it #trying to people please the masses is only going to wear you out and make you feel disconnected from yourself #‘fuck it we ball’ mentality saves lives tbh #….I don’t know I’m still trying to pep talk myself into it being socially acceptable to post sillies :’)#for now this will be a Tumblr exclusive until I stop being a baby about it✨#(also wouldn’t it be funny if my channel has a running joke of everyone not knowing what Puzzles age is? Just a thought)#(first Meggy asks him about it and now I’m asking too)#(no wonder the guy pulled out a knife people won’t shut up about his age lmfao)#mr puzzles smg4 meme #mr puzzles animated #smg4 girl how old are you I’m getting nervous meme #girl how old are you I’m getting nervous mr puzzles meme #hplonesome art

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bluespiritshonour · 11 months ago

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here's 18-19 year old aang sketches. been hearing aang is ugly discourse—no he ain't. he was just 12.

#i really wanted to take part in zukaang bingo but the urge to art struck me a little later #i still might make something else later #enough art for now #i'd try to participate in maiko week but i'm not sure #it's smack in the middle of end semester exams #ink blot #avatar fanart #avatar the last airbender #atla #artists on tumblr #fanart #avatar aang #why did i never use the pencil brush before?!?! i seriously have a personality flaw where i just don't explore stuff.#can you believe i've been using the same fucking brush for lineart ever since i started digital art?#anyways! i don't know how the pencil brush would feel like if i go for colours but this is impeccable.#I have more control over stuff and i love the result #so #i have promised myself i'd be fucking off this hellsite because i have a huge backlog of work that needs to be done #and i'm presently suffering from “can't help but art”. so #yeah. y'all would probably see me around maiko week. byeee!#if i deprive myself of drawing for too long it bursts out of me like this where i do nothing but draw #not healthy at all

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crypt1dcorv1dae · 9 months ago

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I really like kafhoshi ... it good.... Ther s so much potential and so much material to work with AND YET THERES LIKE NOTHING!!!!! *Rolls up my sleeves* gotta do everything myself in this damn house...

#kafhoshi #kafka x hoshina #kafka/hoshina #jk jk i will not be doing everything. bc i cannot write. and i dont mean im not great at it i like have a legit mental block #ill draw tho!!!!!!!!! i will draw!!!!!!!!#i just think about... how theyre conpeting for the same spot (tho hoshina already has that spot hes fighting to keep it)#and how hoshina was the one to vouch for kafka to be passed as a cadet (partially due to suspicion of him but still)#and also indirectly says that part of why he did that/keeps him around is because he's a stubborn guy who never gives up and that reminds -#him of himself (bc hes been told to give up his whole life too and he still hasnt. theyre both stubborn bastards)#and that hes been ''taken in by his charm'' (along with everyone else cus everyone cant help but love him)#and also they canonically train together sometimes. alone. together. come on man thats such an easy target to make it gay #just have someone pin the other person to a surface while sparring and have there be Tension and Energy there. easy.#just come onnnnnnn if you dont have ideas ASK ME #ASK ME FOR IDEAS. ESPECIALLY FOR WRITING CUS I CANT DO THAT MYSELF I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD THO

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lostmf · 11 months ago

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Please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere

…

Why did you ..

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jaysarenice · 1 month ago

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Guys I was listening to a song while writing fmsh and all of a sudden I’m like “this is a perfect Joel animatic song” and now I wanna make it but like I need to focus on one project at time

#joel smallishbeans #smallishbeans #life smp #traffic smp #life series #someone help me #please I can’t work on two things at the same time #why did i do this to myself #yapper jay

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anxiously-sidequesting · 5 months ago

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i absolutely LOVE flawed fictional women so Ione is perfect to me because of her trust issues and how that affects the people around her but at the same time Velma Von Venkman, another fictional woman, is the target of these trust issues and as a result is isolated and avoided by Ione (and the rest of the scholars) and i find myself shedding solemn tears in my personal conflict

#i made an oath myself to never blame a fictional woman for anything ever #ione is also My Loving Wife and i could never be angry at my Wife #but velma........... the universe is so cruel to me.#why did kingsisle introduce a super interesting npc dynamic and not develop it. idc about Bartleby i wanna see what velma is doing!#i might make a post about velma soon but i find it really interesting how she portrays her troubled relationship with the others #i think it does bother her in a way? but she's acting super cool about it. like she acknowledges this is unfair and an important issue #but she just has such an easygoing flair about it. it also helps that the end of the world is the most glaring issue atm but still #ANYWAYS. ione please make up with velma and give her a hug #wizard101 #wiz101 #w101 #text posts

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puppppppppy · 1 year ago

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i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

#like we have so many ways of doing things that could help us in the long run but because we're told it requires more work we just cant #its too resource intensive. or maybe its too much to maintain. we have to overlook benefits so money can go into more important things #we teach each other to do things a certain way so it works for everyone but who was it convenient for first? what abt who it might hurt?#i have to wonder if the rules our current system uses is worth listening to or following if it doesnt have our best interests in mind. u an #me and the ppl around us.. would we be better off if i ate my meals knowing the person who grew it wanted to feed others the way they could #feed themselves? and that isnt to say we're going to be happy doing it but i guess satisfied that its helping someone instead of quietly #accepting that itll eventually go in the dumpster behind a grocery store because it stopped looking appetizing or it wasnt on sale anymore #what about building homes so we can shelter each other? what if we were satisfied with what we did because we knew it would be paid back #with kindness? isnt that what we evolved to do?? heal each others bones and tell stories and help each other??#why dont houses come with solar panels or generators unless we find a way to make people pay to use the sun? why is our pooled money used #to fund genocides instead of education and hospitals? whose interests and convenience came first when we started this??#i wont pretend to know the answer because i dont. but we all know we're miserable and im sorry to say that i cant see myself fighting #for a world that wont fight for me too. why do we work if we cant live from it?? why did they stop us from plucking more teeth from our #bosses until they could build more walls around themselves and then go back to underpaying us??#im so tired. i cant even imagine making it to age 70 #yapping #vent

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duckiemimi · 1 year ago

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uwaw,,,,,,,so different,,,,,,,

#(i have 7 more pages to go why did i overestimate myself)#it’s the most unserious comic too help me 😭😭😭😭#i hope i can get my work shit done fast so i have more down time to do…..anything honestly #(i’m just not gonna render most of the panels………..)#hehe #mimiart #satosugu #jjk

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caterjunes · 2 months ago

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this sucks. this all fucking sucks. i wish my dad cared about me like he thinks he does, or like he wants me to think he does, or like he pretends he does. when it's not inconvenient, when he isn't forced to remember i'm trans/mentally ill/disabled/unemployed/unemployable/a Failed Citizen.

i wish anybody was treating it like a big deal that i traveled halfway across the country to spend time with them. it felt like a big deal to me.

#keeping it fun and funky fresh #personal #MY FAMILY #i was hoping this trip would like. help me smother my suicidality/depression/sense of worthlessness with a blanket of Familial Love #even if just temporarily #but instead i just feel like. oh. ok. i'm not anybody's priority huh. my dad would rather go to church alone than do an escape room w/ me #b/c he's So Over Masking #my little sister just Doesn't Feel Like driving into town more than one day this weekend #(should i like?? invite myself over to her place instead???)#i keep asking if we can play a game i brought (yazeba's b&b) and i did it once w/ my folks which was fun #but it's better with bigger groups and i keep being like Hey can we play? Or do this other fun thing all together?#and the answer keeps being No we're gonna go do other stuff; why don't you sit down on the couch & keep yourself occupied #and my dad WILL play video games with me but it feels brittle & tense & sharp any time there's a pause in the action #i'm rly glad i saw gramma & aunt lisa but otherwise like. fuck. i wish i hadn't come. how the fuck do i feel even lonelier here.

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nexus-nebulae · 8 months ago

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me as a kid: i have all these problems

every adult around me: you're not old enough to know what's wrong with you, you're fine

me as an adult: i still have all these problems

my doctors after i finally got the opportunity to choose them myself: oh my fucking god why have you never gotten help for all these problems. you should have seen me 10 years ago

#problems i have finally gotten help for that i was told i was not old enough to know about:#AMPS (was told it was anxiety and then when i kept coming back they said it was fibro Quite Literally just to get me to shut up)#(like the doc i just saw literally said 'they diagnose fibromyalgia here when they dont know what the problem is but dont feel like testing)#multiple food allergies (was also told the stomach pain and vomiting was anxiety)#seborrheic dermatitis (i was told 'youre just stressed thats why you have a rash')#(which- if im so stressed my skin is literally dying MAYBE I STILL NEED HELP?????????)#autism and adhd (my father knew! but refused to get me assessed bc if i dont have a diagnosis theres no problem right :)#anxiety disorder (oh so when I'm in pain i DO have anxiety but when i say i have anxiety I'm overreacting okay)#dyscalculia and possibly dyslexia ('you just need to try harder' I've asked for a tutor five times)#some of my doctors don't actually believe me about some of these problems BECAUSE i have no records from when i was a kid #they're like 'it just popped up at 18? seems suspicious......' like I WASN'T ALLOWED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR'S UNTIL THEN #there's definitely more but I'm still mad abt it #i might not be in a wheelchair Almost All The Time if i had gotten help BEFORE i lost half the feeling in my legs #i KNEW the fibro was a BS diagnosis #i tried to get assessed for autism at 16 and was told i have schizotypal personality disorder instead with literally zero testing #like my psych just refused to allow me to get tested for autism she was like 'no you have spd i Just Know'#same psych that said there was zero way i had anything like DID because my symptoms didn't present Exactly like the Only other #patient at the clinic with DID. i want to note that that was a 14 year old boy still being actively abused #and i was a 20 year old who was in a safe environment and had distanced myself from my abusers and stressors

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isekyaaa · 4 months ago

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Another story idea. One of those basic ass stories where this child is abused by her family due to her sister (adopted) came and brainwashed the whole family into loving her and hating mc. In the end mc is framed for some crime and is ultimately executed. Only after mc dies does the family realize their fault when the whole world becomes destroyed. Following me? Basic ass brainwashing story. Anyway, here's the twist. Time gets reversed, and mc awakens to the point in time ten years before her death. But the twist? Mc isn't the main character. The story takes place from the viewpoint of one of the brainwashed siblings that slowly remembers their previous life.

#story ideas #i'm reading 'a world without you' and i am tired #why do they always go through brainwashing route?#'mc was horribly abused abandoned and neglected bc they were brainwashed!!!!!!!!!'#so unoriginal and boring #but what i find even more surprising is like...#how so many of the readers/audience wants them to die for what they did #these people were brainwashed and not in control of their actions but regardless they are the scum of the earth #idk man #i'll never get used to how people in this day and age feel empowered by the purity movement and like....#lack any and all sympathy/empathy for others #so it'd be fun to make a story based upon one of the characters they vilify #this character would slowly realize their past life #'why do i always feel guilty around this person?'#'i know they're terrified of me but i just want to help them in any way i can't #and then when they remember their past finally it's like #'i finally understand. how can i live with myself knowing what i put them through?'#it'd be a boring story but it'd be fun to shove in those people's faces

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petrow1tch · 4 months ago

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They weren't lying, this psychological recovery journey got hands

#3rd month of taking antidepressants and knowing that There Is something majorly fucked up within me #i feel like im becoming normal bit by bit but also now my other problems become my aparent to me #i started to notice i have this childlike simplistic attitude towards wonder and relationships but also at the same time i understand the #severity of troubles around me on the level of burned out adult #but also it takes me from a week to several years to realize what people meant #and yet sometimes i get everything clearly #there are still ways to go #i still have to find a therapist #cuz psych diagnosed me with BPD; geberal anxiety disorder and ADHD and said i have autism signs that could explain the development of BPD #but all he can do is medical treatment which is not the kind you need for BPD and autism #im not saying you can treat autism but yeah he meant i need a psychotherapist for these instead of psychiatrist #i hope i can complete this mental health journey bcuz i feel like i finally got hit with all the weight of burnout i had all these years #i did some creative work in the august/early september but rn its all touching grass in real world and playing games #like i cook i help my family with chores i play fortnite i clean up my room i go out at 1am to look at the stars #all of my own volition without feeling like i need to push myself to do this #I'm scared that making art is not one of those things #i often have a thought that maybe art isnt really for me and in a perfect world i wouldnt do it #but then why am i so good at it #like...#petrotalk

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hide-your-bugs-away · 11 days ago

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Made this connection the other day, but why did it take me four entire years to realize that Eric was wearing The Green Shirt during Price to Play: August 12th, 1968 (with guest star Eric Burdon)??

The lack of a collar, the short row of buttons, the slightly darker complex of the shirt... This whole time, I was always bemoaning the fact that we never got to see Alan in photograph next to Eric in some of his more iconic "EB & The Animals" outfits... and it's been staring at me all this time. They are aesthetic complements always (and undeniable complements in many other ways as well)... now's a good time for a Dr Pepper.

#now if only eric had worn those wooden love beads on alan's show.....#gOSH i'm still finding so many things to sob over in 'price to play': august 12th 1968 (with guest star eric burdon)#sometimes i remember the way they did 'what'd i say' together and i instantly launch myself past the stratosphere #alan was acting soooooo silly throughout that whole episode you can tell he really. Really. REALLY LIKES ERIC. REALLY.#didn't add this little revelation to my essay because it's the type of realization that only i go feral over.. incidental outfit complements #i still might add it though..... helps give the black-and-white nature of the episode a pop of color #gOSH that means all of the (with guest star eric burdon) artwork i did contains a glaring error #i did indeed color his shirt a hue of green but not like this exact shirt.... not to mention i gave him a COLLAR #you see that 'music echo' photo really threw me off because it *looks* like eric has a slightly popped collar #but NO. THERE'S NO COLLAR AT ALL. GGGGGHGHGH H GHG #also why you have it unbuttoned around alan like that eric 🤨#connie please draw alan wearing some of eric's necklaces some day 👀 oh you know i will connie 👀#can't wait to see this episode again with tealight....... this time rented out the british film institute for two hours.............#this will definitely be a highlight..... the way they sounded when they performed together..... gOSH GOLLY GOSH #alan settling back and deferring to eric.... one of the few if not only people he allows to do so.... OKAY. OKAY. DR PEPPER.#the animals #eric burdon #alan price #animusings #things i said today #60s rock #british invasion #yes it's been four years since i learned about (with guest star eric burdon) shout out to the animal OGs on discord #they were the first folks that let me infodump about the animals since i discovered them in 2020... and showed me That Image #life-changing alan price and eric burdon circa 1968 #aleric

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pilonciillo · 2 months ago

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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety

#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works #why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being #released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy #last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get #panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the #parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to #steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out #all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone #spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli #telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s #nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank #track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the #business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and #video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me #FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s #not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m #much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel #safe #OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she #got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like #that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s #crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull #shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to #mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told #me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check #key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS #allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no #consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way

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kil9 · 1 month ago

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did any other gay transmasc refuse to pursue men until after you came out

#99.txt #i always like was crazy about boys but would like them from like. afar. not because i was shy but because i was like. i dont WANT TO #i was never actually with a guy til after coming out ....#and if i did like a guy i already talked to i would just like. try to fight him #this probably helped me realise cos im like. why dont i like boys in the way the ''other girls'' do gwjgdhs....#i still want to fight them... some insane male ritual ive absorbed into my subconscious or something #i will prove myself to him by besting him in hand to hand combat

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