#help me im already writing the second chapter

[everettes-requiem]

why talk about the others when i can talk about myself? i find it rather offensive you’re even asking about them.. but oh well. at least it’s about my opinion and not a “oh how are they?” “say hi to someone for me!”, otherwise i would have gone mad.

some are more bearable than others,

for example: simon, despite being all loony and ruining the choir’s look with his constant faints and i assure you, it is majorly trying to have to haul his addled self up to a place where he can rest, he can be dare i say pleasant sometimes. he may speak nonsense at times, but he’s one to help, useful, and i guess he’s... kind, something very far and few inbetween. perhaps that’s why no one really likes him, people don’t like those who are different. he’s still very much batty ‘hough, it would be better if he didn’t share his thoughts

then there’s ralph. he’s, fine i suppose. it’s just, it’s rather hard to tell with him. i mean, it’s difficult to form a solid opinion on him considering he… he’s odd, and little seem to notice it or see him that way. i don’t know how else to describe it which is shocking, i know. as someone who got full marks in writing, you’d think i’d have enough adjectives known to describe him. but, even then, there are special cases. my father told me you don’t want to be special, at least not like that, because then you’ll be sent where the mental are. i’m special though, but in a reverenced way and i don’t mean he’s odd like a roger odd, or maurice odd. it’s just, one moment he’s splashing about in the water like a littlun and the next he’s so serious about duties. first he’s so friendly with that god awful merridew, and next he’s to simon, and then he and piggy are attached. he’s a leader, and suddenly he’s a coward. but, as much as i would like to keep going i can’t say much, to be fair i did vote for him even if it was only to spite merridew

i do absolutely hate it ‘hough when he’s always going “everette! go and build a hut!”, get it in your mind that i’ve self designated myself to fire duty. why ask me to build a hut? im not going to get all dirty, you mangy ket.

oh and don’t get me started on piggy. it’s always all blether with him, i can barely stand him. even me saying his name is making my head hurt because apparently that’s all he likes to do. i’ll admit, his ideas could have a smidge of potential if it weren’t for how narking he is, it’s all whine with him and all he talks about is “oh but my aunt” and “ralph, my asthma!”. the only thing he’s useful for isn’t even himself, but his glasses. i mean, how else would we start the fire? i’m sure if he didn’t have those then he would have lived true to his name, all the other boys would have butchered him by now, if he wasn’t already slaughtered by the amount offenses thrown his way.

merridew, jack merridew. the way he speaks, the way he looks, the way he acts, the way his gritting voice sings kyrie eleison? he’s an absolute fool and i hate him, i despise every part of him. and you might be saying that i’m over exaggerating, that i simply am overestimating the extent of it, but i know well how i feel about him. everyone knows it, i know it, he knows it, and i have no problem letting you know either. you wanted to know my opinion so badly after all. you wouldn’t understand.

merridew has always been someone who has been intertwined into my life no matter how much i try to untangle myself. in school he was always the one to raise his hand first, just a second before me. in choir he was always the one appointed to lead small sections for some reason while the director was gone for a few moments despite the fact i sing better, i keep counts better. when there was church it seemed as though his bible was apart of him, praise following him for being so devout. i knew how he truly was though, i knew that the choir prefect, chapter choister, merridew was really just a pathetic boy.

one day, i told myself. i’d be free, be rid, from the wretchedness that consumed me. but no, god had other plans. grace was not given when we crashed on this island. stuck with merridew, more stuck than i ever have been. the way he’s so adamant about hunt, about that pursuit for blood. the way he sharpens a stick made spear, found no doubt about the bouts of forest. salvation, i need salvation. hate, gods i hate him. i hate him, i hate his freckled face, i hate his eyesore ginger hair, i hate the way he looks at me. he will never be better than me.

— everette ainsworth

[spinnintoilet009]

well...i kinda.....am hyperfixating on this.....and i managed to post the first chapter already..... I'd be really happy if people checked it out!

Im also looking foward to post my illustrations of this fanfic today!

[itz-mfkn-de]

could you do a theo nott x ravenclaw!reader where he helps her study for a big test? but he ends up just "distracting" her ??

Yes yes yes yes yes I love u and ur brain this is amazing.

\\STUDY BUDDY// T.N

Warnings- sex, kissing, cussing, Italian, yah that’s it

TY FOR THE REQUEST ALSO IM WORKING ON THE OTHERS SORRY FOR TAKING FORVER IVE BEEN SO BUSY😭 but i love you all and i promise i am working on them.

——

You sat in your dorm room, the books around you swallowing your surroundings. You had been studying for the past couple hours and you had no intentions of stopping. This test determined if you passed the class or not, you couldn’t let yourself fall behind, not after you’d worked so hard to get to the top.

Your brows furrowed while you re read over the chapter info, trying your best to imbed it into your brain.

Your intense focus was broken by the light knocks on your door, and you knew exactly who it was.

You sighed softly and got up from your desk. You unlocked the door and slowly opened it, making eye contact with a certain brunette not long after.

“Theo, I thought you had plans with friends?” You said with a soft smile.

He walked past you and planted a kiss on your forehead, his hands tracing your waist.

“ I did, but I missed my girl,” he mumbled as his body flopped on your bed “Missed you, bella.”

“I missed you too Theo,” you walked up to him to give him a soft kiss, just wanting to feel his lips against your own for a quick moment.

He moaned once he felt the warmth of your mouth meet his, hands roaming slowly under your shirt.

You pulled back and grabbed his hands before they travelled and lower.

“No, i have to study, Theodore,” you said strictly “I can’t fail this test.”

He let out a groan.

“Amore, when have you ever failed a test? Not once, and I don’t think this is any different from before.” He replied while putting your hands on his chest and continuing.

His lips ghosted along the Side of your neck leaving you breathless.

“Theodore..I really need to study.” You grumbled as you made little attempt to push him back.

He left soft sloppy kisses where his warm breath had resided.

“Mmm, but you’re so smart already, bambina..my smart girl.” He smiled into your neck, loving how flustered you had become.

He knew exactly what he was doing. Every word that left his mouth was meticulously chosen just to make your knees weak, and Salazar save you, it was working.

“Nuh uh, I’m not letting you sweet talk me.” You stated while completely pulling yourself away from Theodore, much to his dismay.

“I have to study,” you looked at him with a glare and went back to your desk.

Every part of your body was currently on fire. You needed him in every sense of the word, but you knew you needed to finish studying first.

You tried your best to focus on your book infront of you but your mind kept wandering else where.

You heard a couple footsteps but paid no mind to whatever Theodore had decided to occupy himself with.

A couple seconds passed before you turned your head to see Theodore pulling up a chair and sitting next to you.

“Theodore, what are you doing?” You asked with a tinge of annoyance, but you couldn’t stay mad at him, not when he looked at you like that.

“ I want to help you study,” he stated while noticing your doubtful glare “I really do, no games I promise, principessa.” He assured you.

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes at his boyish grin he let slip across his face.

You began reading the questions out loud, allowing him to help you answer a few of them aswell.

“Let’s make it fun, yeah?” He asked after another handful of questions had been answered.

“How do you mean?” You asked while writing a few things down with your quill.

“I’ll worry about that, you keep reading.” He ordered softly, his hands moving the hair away from the side of your neck he was facing.

You did your best to ignore him and went back to the book, focusing on the words instead of your very needy boyfriend’s hand creeping up your thigh.

His lips continued where’d they’d left off from earlier , finding specific spots that got you squirming and focusing on them.

“Theodore.. I t—I told you I need to study..” you managed to get out in between your harsh breaths.

“Mm, you work so hard, can’t have my Bella ragazza overworked…” he groaned, his hands tracking under your skirt.

“I—i” you tried to to get a complaint out, but Theodore was quick to shut you up once his hands reached your already wet core.

He let out a gutteral moan at the feeling of your wetness coating his fingers.

“See how wet you are baby? Let your self relax…let me help you.” He whispered in your ear as he pulled his hands back and lifted you from the chair.

You yelled as your back hit the bed, him finding his place on top of you not too long after.

His lips wasted no time in connecting to yours, tongue and teeth clashing against eachother with raw need being their motivation.

His hands slipped back down to your core, pulling your skirt above your hips.

Every one of your nerves felt as if it were being set on fire, the arsonist being Theodore not and his Godsend hands.

He gently rubbed your clit and discard of your panties somewhere in the room, not giving much mind to the thin layer of fabric that blocked him from what he wanted.

You shivered as his long slender fingers played with your clit, teasing you to no end.

“Bel bambino, all worked up, I’m sorry I didn’t help you sooner.” He cooed at your flustered face.

“Theo..please.” You moaned once his mouth made contact with your neck again.

“Please what, Bella, let me hear you say what you want.” He grunted through his clenched jaw as he slipped two finger into your dripping hole.

“Mio dio, sei così bagnato.” He mumbled under his breath.

You gasped at the feeling of his fingers stretching you out.

You arched your back off the bed as he continued his ministrations.

“I want you too fuck me…please.” You begged while your nails dug into his shoulders.

“Salazar fucking save me, well when you beg like that, how could I say no, Amore?” Theodore teased as he pulled his hands away from you to undo his pants.

You whined at the absence of his fingers but he was quick to pull down his boxers and push his tip against you.

He looked at you through his long eyelashes, as if asking for permission.

“Please.” Was all you could muster out before he started to slowly push into you with a hiss leaving his lips.

Your head lulled back as you felt the stretch of his thick cock set in. No matter how many times you to had fucked, you’d never get sued to when he fist pushes in.

“Santa merda, you’re so fucking tight..” he growled into your ear as he slowly pulled back only to push in a little harder than before.

You let out a moan, one louder than intended, but Theodore was quick to shut you up with his mouth on yours.

The kiss was sloppy, teeth and tongue met in a harsh collision, as his thrusts began to pick up pace.

Your hands gripped the sheets, trying to resurface yourself. Theos thrust became relentless, giving you no time to catch your breath at all.

His grip on your chin was replaced by wet sloppy kisses. His hands found their place next to your head.

“Theo I c— oh my fuck.” You whimpered out.

“Cmon, Bella, let go f’me.” He slurred out through his gritted teeth while whispering some Italian curses under his breath.

Your back arched from the bed as you sucked in a harsh breath of air, feeling everything in your body set on fire.

Your head spun as you rode out your high through theos thrust.

He quickly pulled out and came on your stomach, flopping down next to you.

You stared at the ceiling while you caught your breath.

“You are never allowed to study with me again.” You joked at Theodore, turning your body on its side to face him.

He gave you his signature grin, kissing you like you were the only girl in the world.

[nislost]

sugar daddy | chapter 13

warnings: suggestive, smut, unprotected sex

🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼

“f-fuck…y/n just like that” haechan moans as you cup his bulge through his sweats. “you like that?” you smirk running your hands up and down his print. haechan nods quickly while whimpering through his teeth. “please suck me off…please i’m so hard it hurts..” he whines looking at you with the sweetest eyes. you couldn’t just ignore his pleas especially when you were already dripping wet.

as you pull haechan’s sweats down he hisses feeling the cool air hit his sensitive cock. you place light kisses on the head of his cock causing him to whine “please..y/n i can’t wait” he whines and begs, you almost feel sorry for him knowing you can’t get over his delicious whines. giving him some relief you place his tip in your mouth only showing it attention leaving the rest of his cock alone.

“p-please i can’t anymore i need more..” haechan begs as tears fill his eyes as he begins to jerk into your mouth. popping his tip out of your mouth you just smile at him before licking the base of his cock in a long stripe. haechan leans his head back and lets out a satisfied sigh feeling you put almost all of him in your mouth. you hollow your cheeks and begin to bob your head up and down.

your own hand travels down to your soaked panties pushing them aside to play with your clit. you begin to moan around haechan’s cock causing him to whimper behind the hand covering his mouth “s-so good baby just like that….you make me feel so good” he gives you a smile. the praise made you moan around him as you start running your fingers up and down your wet folds before sliding them into your entrance.

haechan runs his hand in your hair encouraging you to go deeper on him, so you do. not feeling satisfied by your fingers you slide them out while also taking haechan’s cock out of your mouth which causes him to whine “i haven’t cum yet” he looks at you desperately. “want your cum in me” you say standing up and sliding your panties down, this brings a smile on haechan’s face.

haechan helps you place his cock inside of you, both letting a sigh of satisfaction feeling each other. “y-your cock is so good…” you moan into the crevice of his neck as you begin to bounce. haechan’s hands immediately find your hips thrusting into you matching your rhythm. “your pussy is so good baby..fuck” he groans, he then brings a hand down and uses his thumb to play with your clit. you let out a loud moan and clench around him which sends haechan wild.

haechan grabs you and lays you down on the couch on your back. this action confuses you for a second until he started fucking you hard. you wrap your arms around his neck holding him close as he’s fucking you at a relentless pace. “fuck i’m gonna cum…” he moans in your ear you open your mouth to say you were too but all that came out was choked moans.

haechan knew you were close too just by the way you were clenching around him. he brings his hand down to rub your clit again so you would finish at the same time as him. “c-cumming” you whimper as haechan brings your knees to your chest reaching even deeper in you. both of you finish at the same time, sliding out of you haechan watches as both of your juices spills out of you. he uses his fingers to push what spilled out back in which has you whining from overstimulation.

“so pretty like this..” he gives you a smile as he puts your panties back on you wanting you to keep his cum inside. “haechan..that feels weird” you whine as you rub your thighs together not used to the feeling of this. your movements cause some drops to leak out which makes haechan a little annoyed. “lemme get you cleaned up and then you can go piss girl!” he chuckles walking off to your bathroom to find a hand towel. “stop saying that every time we fuck!” you yell out.

🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼🪼

notes: second time writing smut i think im getting better 〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

previous / next

taglist: @t-102 @stqrgr7 @mr1833 @ypoom151999 @snoopyjimin @elsbunny @injunnie-lemon @theandypark @defzcl @yewshi @dudekiss3r @rihaee @multifandomania @iamsimplyasimp @antosaurius @222brainrot @haefelt @90s-belladonna @jenoleeaesthetic @4yunogf @tywritesstuff @gomdoleemyson @nosungluv @bananinhazz @jakiki94 @taeeflwrr @marisolmtz @dlin3 @alethea-moon @sunghoonsgfreal @n0hyuck @sewergirlfriend @jeonghansshitester @slayhaechan @joyzluvr

TAGLIST IS CLOSED SORRY >.<

[katiascraft]

✐ᝰ "You knew all too well i was right where you left me" | CL16 ࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊

parings: retired!charles leclerc x writer!ex!reader

series summary: It’s the story of a woman frozen in the moment her world fell apart. A perfect dinner ended with, “I met someone else,” and while everyone moved on, she remained stuck in that instant, unable to let go of the past. A poignant tale of heartbreak, grief, and the weight of being trapped in a “forever” that never was.

🔎 chapter one: “love is short but forgetting is so long”

🔎 chapter two: “did the love affair mail you too?”

🔎 chapter three: “you kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath”

chapter four: “help, I’m still at the restaurant” -> chapter five

‼️ best friends in this chapter: nikola (nik) , dorothy (dottie) and beatrice (betty). They all know each other from Oxford University where the four of them studied creative writing.

word count: +5,1k.

BLOG MASTERLIST - series masterlist

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

yourusername uploaded a story

view story replies

agostinabff: hope you have a lovely week off mon amour!! You deserve it. We love you 💘

↳ yourusername: thank u for being the best part of my life 💌

y/nstan: omg GIRL we are the same person wtf 😭

user4: who is he and where can i find him to KILL HIM?????

nikolabff: is my air bnb recommendation good enough ????? (That looks disgusting, uber eats exists darling)

nikolabff: can't wait for tomorrow!! London should be scared of us 😈

nikolabff: did dorothy call you? She isn't answering my calls

↳ yourusername: babes!!!! Aaaaaa i'm so excited. I just ended call with dottie. She arrived safe and well, i missed you guys so much 😭 did betty text you?

↳ nikolabff: tbh she didn't but you know how she is. can't wait to see you all tomorrow!!

arthurleclerc: hey y/n i know this may be weird but just wanted to say, i read your book and it is amazing! my brother was an idiot you know? you are an amazimg person im sure you'll find someone who loves you deeply (if you didn't already. maybe you did) okay, i don't bother you any longer. hope we can meet again someday!

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ a week ago 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

“There'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you. Both of these things can be true. There is happiness, past the blood and bruise, past the curses and cries. Beyond the terror in the nightfall haunted by the look in my eyes that would've loved you for a lifetime and leave it all behind. Tell me, when did your winning smile begin to look like a smirk? When did all our lessons start to look like weapons pointed at my deepest hurt? I hope she'll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you. No, I didn't mean that. Sorry, I can't see facts through all of my fury. You haven't met the new me yet” you read that piece out loud from your personal journal to your therapist. She stayed silent for a while. You looked over at her knowing you skipped some parts but what you read in the end sank in.

“I think there’s a lot to discuss from just that single piece you wrote. But I wanna ask you something before anything else: do you really believe there will be happiness after him?” your therapist made you a question that felt like daggers pinching you that resulted in leaving you breathless for a few seconds. you loved and hated therapy for this reason. There were things you couldn’t question by yourself  because you never thought about it and things you didn’t know how to answer like this one.  

“I wish I could say yes. But i don't think i’ve been happy since he left” saying that out loud hurt yourself even more. It was not something easy to admit and accept.  But it was the truth. You have never felt really happy since then. 

She nodded, writing down in her notebook “but do you believe you can be happy without him? Why is he still so important or has so much space in your life that you can't be happy if he isn’t there? Why were you happy when he was with you?” as always, too many questions with so few answers. You felt exhausted, frustrated by the fact you didn't know what to think about it all. 

“I'm sure I want to be happy, I can't live like this anymore. I'm tired” you assured her and  yourself. You took a few seconds to think and she respected that. “I guess if I want to then I can, right? I mean, I talk to my friends and all of them tell me time and time again ‘don't let what happened define you’ and I try but I don't know why it is really hard for me” you explained looking at the floor. 

“And what’s that definition of yourself?”

“That i'm not worthy of love i guess. that there will always be someone better than me, more attractive, more lovable, more interesting. I can't be the one, for anyone” admitting it felt like an elephant stepped on you and you just died in the act. Your therapist, Maria, nodded looking at you. 

“Well, but in what you wrote you tell this woman he left you for, that you hope she is a fool like you, right?” she intervened. You nodded. “What can you tell me about it?”

You looked at your hands a bit sweaty. “I really don’t know. I mean her existence made me compare myself to her. She is so different. It made me feel all of those things I said before. And maybe i blamed her existence because if she didn't existed then, charles would still be here” 

“You think so?” 

“I guess, yeah” you looked at her. She wrote down more stuff on that notebook you were so intrigued by. 

“So, for you, there doesn't exist the possibility that maybe he just stopped loving you? Like even if she existed or not - could be any other woman or could be no one at all. Would it hurt more if he just stopped loving you?” you felt your brain make a 180 turn on itself. 

“I don’t know. Maybe, yeah, I mean. I Think it’s easier to blame someone then not have an explanation for it” your therapist nodded. 

“So,  why would she occupy your same place then? If you are different from each other, why would she be just like you? As a replacement it seems and at the same time who’s at fault for all of this situation and insecurities. And before you answer, I think we can connect that to what happened between your dad and mom, right?” she saw your face so confused she knew this was gonna be the end of the session so you could think about it during the next two weeks. “You told me you discovered your dad cheated on your mom. So all you ever dreamed was to find someone who would be better than him, to prove yourself that that isn’t your destiny, just like your mom. And then Charles left you for this other girl. And everything you built up in your mind to try to believe in love and to escape from the reality you had to live through, then it crumbled down in that instant. Leaving you feeling like there was no way you could be worthy of love, because you tried but Charles did exactly what your dad did to your mother. And since then you couldn’t date anyone else. This is a theory, I'm not saying it is what it is of course. But it seems that if they didn't exist then you wouldn’t be this hurt and maybe forgive charles,as you said when you wrote ‘and leave it all behind’ just like your mom did with your dad”

Her words echoed in your head for a while. The knot in your throat intensified. “Charles was my everything just like my parents were. And after what happened, with Charles and my dad, I guess I let that define me. I wanted to show myself that the love i’ve seen in books and movies existed, not like in my house. I wanted to make things right. In a way, to mend what hurt me the most. The betrayal of my dad. So I put Charles under that pressure and maybe that made things the way they went down. I don’t know to be honest. I don’t know why I want alexandra to be like me. Maybe that’s another way of convincing myself I'm not the only fool in this mess.”

“I don’t think you are a fool. Relationships are complicated and the reason he decided to leave could be based on a million reasons, and even in that situation. Maybe any of them are because of you or who you are as a person. People are complex and most times messy. Feelings aren’t easy to control or understand” she explained to you. “So, coming back to this new encounter you had with him, how did you feel about it?” 

“It felt weird, very uncomfortable to be around him. But at the same time a force drove me closer to him. I wanted to be closer. Ask him everything and at the same time punch him. He felt the same to be honest. Just like the previous day he left, when everything was alright.” you pulled a face you didn't know how to describe at that moment.  

“And you felt the same?”

“No i think, i didn’t” she nodded and half smiled at my answer. 

“Then, what’s the new you he didn’t meet?” 

“Who i am now i guess”

“And who are you?” her question made you realize you didn’t know how to answer that question yet. You knew you were different, because you felt different although stuck dealing with the aftermath of that relationship. She noticed your silence (because she knew all too well you didn’t know how to answer it) and smiled gently.

“Alright, y/N. Let’s leave it here and continue next session, okay? See you in two weeks”

Who the fuck were you now? 

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Mornings at your balcony were your favorite moment during the day. Your coffee was warm and comforting on a grey and windy day. You were covered in clothes and blankets. You needed that moment anyway. You wouldn’t let the winter win. You watched your neighbor cleaning his living room. He had his window opened so you could see a bit of what he was doing. However, you didn't see him very well because you didn't have your glasses on so it’s a bit blurry. You thought there was someone else with him. Probably a girl.but you weren’t that interested.the only thing you hated about your balcony was the fact that the view was partially blocked by that damn house up the hill. 

After a while, you took your stuff and went into your house again. You felt warmer instantly. You left the blankets on the coach and washed up what you used to have for breakfast a few minutes ago. You had to pack as soon as possible. On saturday, you travel to london to see your college friends and also because your friend franco, another formula one driver you met by chance at a college party, it was his birthday party. You wanted that week to be a good one. Be a week you genuinely enjoy and just be happy.

But after everything that happened the last month around Charles, it was really difficult. Your therapist was a really good help of course. But you hated not knowing how to handle all of these feelings you didn’t understand and that paralyze you. 

You only had one phrase in your head: ‘no one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you’.

You couldn’t think of Charles as a bad man, or person or anything. Yes, he was stupid. And he destroyed your self esteem. And your trust. And yes, you still were kind of stuck in that restaurant. But you also had some kind of responsibility. And that also troubled you a lot. 

Your self esteem shouldn’t be defined by anyone else but you. What do you think about yourself? Who are you? That was your fault. You didn’t know how that would affect destiny for him to leave you but well, it is what it is yet. You kind of thought that maybe it’s the price you had to pay for putting him in a role he didn't want to be in. maybe you were too much. Too intense. Too dependent. He only wanted someone to talk and have fun with. But you wanted a good husband at 18, and a good father, and the one who would take away your pain and fix your traumas. 

Maybe he wasn’t the only one who hurt someone, but you also hurt him in some way.

Ten years in, and you still couldn’t explain what happened. What did you do or not do for him to stop loving you? Or perhaps you can actually stop loving someone but you didn't experience it yet. 

You sighed, reaching your travelling suitcase from on top of your closet. You almost fell so you had to grab a chair from your kitchen. You loved travelling but packing was a nightmare (also, because you couldn’t decide which outfits were good so you had to take two suitcases and pay extra everytime. Not that you didn't have the money and it was a problem. But you knew it was an unnecessary spend). 

That’s when you remembered how it was like to travel with charles. And you hated yourself for remembering his stupid laugh so cute it made your heart melt every time. Would he still laugh like that? Maybe it was best not to know it. 

If you were younger and he came back, you’d probably forgive him and leave it all behind just to be happy with him. But now, you wanted to leave everything behind: him, his family, the memories, the feelings, the hurt. And maybe that is what changed.

That was the new you.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Your laugh was so liberating. Your hair was free in the wind. He was driving through the Monaco coast. It was finally summer break and you decided to have a picnic at the beach. His hand on your tight. David Guetta on the radio. You were singing along without a care in the world. 

Your fingers brushed his hand making him look at you through his sun glasses in a beautiful cute smile. 

“You look gorgeous, cherie” you saw his lips pronounce those words in slow motion, feeling your every fiber get wild inside you. Your smile was so big and your cheeks pink. He could melt forever just to see you this happy. You wanted to freeze those moments with him and live in them forever.

“I love you, Charles,” you said so warmly and softly. It was your romance movie playing over and over again. That’s how you felt. But when he heard you say those words, his face turned serious. Almost pulled a face of disgust. For some reason you got so scared you wanted to jump out of the car to save your life. 

You wanted to save your life. 

He noticed you wanted to escape so he tightened his grip on you tightly, hurting you but he wasn’t letting you go away. 

“Charles, let go of me” you said almost in a whisper. Your breath was fast. You needed to jump. You started fighting so he would let you go.

“Stop, cherie. We’re gonna have our happily ever after, isn’t that what you wanted?” he said, trying to drive and grab you at the same time. You started crying not knowing what to answer. The anxiety took over you.

“You said you loved me cherie, you can’t go now” he was crying and let go of the steering wheel. You got desperate seeing the car had no control and you were at the Monaco cliffs.

“Charles! CHARLES!” you screamed from the top of your lungs as you watched both of you exiting the driveway into nowhere. All the sea around you. Slow motion Charles looked at you with a huge smile. 

“Happily ever after baby” he said and you looked horrorized. But when you were about to scream again as if that would change anything.

Everything went black. 

You woke up drowning in cold sweat and tears. Your heart was beating too fast for your liking. The feeling you had in that moment of pure confusion was scared to death. For a moment you didn’t know if you were alive or dead. Your room was pitch black so it kinda felt like you died. But you were thinking and you thought there was no way you could think when dead, so you were alive. 

After a few seconds of paralysis, you react and turn on your light from your bed table. You took a deep breath and scrubbed your face to wake yourself up. Your face was wet still from your tears. The moment you were conscious again you felt defeated. It was the third time in the night you were having this kind of nightmares, now three days in a row. You laid back again in bed for a moment.frustration was all over your face. You were so tired of living like this. Yet, you didn’t know how to stop. You grabbed your phone to see what time it was. It showed 5:46 am. You snarled, hating your brain more than anything in the world. 

You got up from bed and went straight to the bathroom to wash your face. You knew all too well you couldn’t be able to fall asleep again nor you wanted to. It has been a terrible night already. So you let your brain win once again. 

You went downstairs to your studio where it was warm. Sun isn't out yet, so here you’ll be warmer. If not, you probably would have chosen the balcony as always. Or the restaurant, although you haven't come back to it since the last encounter with charles. You just didn’t want to go back there ever again. Just like the time he left. 

You sat on your chair at your desk. Eyes tired. You opened your journal. You didn’t remember writing so much like in the past week or so. But you had so many thoughts to write sometimes it got difficult for you to function properly. You just had to stay at home writing non-stop. Not only your upcoming book but your feelings. After the dream you had, a lot must be processed. 

I know I'm probably better off on my own than loving a man who didn't know what he had. And I see the permanent damage he did to me. 

Never again. 

I just wish I could forget when it was magic. 

But I also just wish you could’ve been a better man.  

You sighed reading your words again on paper. You felt worried about yourself. Like, maybe you were broken and couldn’t ever be fixed. You were scared that you wouldn’t be able to fix yourself back up again. Or even thinking that maybe you were born broken so how could you fix yourself then? You were scared there was no way out of this pain, agony, self hatred, nightmare you have lived these past years… or your whole life. You dreamed about being in love again with someone so different from charles yet maybe who makes you feel the same high. Or maybe higher erasing every trace of him or memory of your dad. Now lines were blurry. You didn’t want to think about your dad, not only because he was gone and you couldn’t do anything about it, but because it felt weird linking him in some way to charles, but if your therapist said so, maybe you were more troubled than you thought. 

Would there be a good guy? Do they even exist? You guessed you’ve never met one of them yet. 

I hold onto this pride because, these days, it's all I have. And I gave you my best, and we both know you can't say the same. 

Were you writing about him? Or about your dad?

You stared at the wall thinking about the answer that never came around. 

Just like the both of them did when it came to you. 

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

It was 10 am in the morning already. You didn’t sleep a bit. You’ve been in a zoom meeting since 8. Talks about the movie in the making were held. Casting started so they sent you a few ones they think are perfect for the roles so you have to watch them after the meeting. Also, they go through the aesthetic and changes they will make from the book, and that’s why this meeting has been so long. They needed to discuss everything with you to make sure you agreed. They wanted to be respectful with your work and you appreciate it very much. It made you feel important. In other news, they thought that taylor swift could make the soundtrack for the movie and you got very excited about it. You loved Taylor's songwriting and believed (and were almost sure) she would make the perfect song for the movie. 

It was gonna be a long day ahead, full of work and watching hours of footage from castings. But it was for your dream. You still couldn’t believe you had your book be a movie in the making. It still feels surreal. 

Then you remembered charles’ ex followed you and liked your posts. And you were mad at him again. You were sure (no doubts at all for real), she didn't know who you were. Because he kept you buried like you were sin. 

A part of you wanted to believe he did it because he knew he fucked up and didn’t want people to judge him for his lack of sympathy towards his last lover. But at the same time you just found it cruel behavior with no reason at all to do that. You kinda felt dirty as if you were bad. Very bad. Banned from his life. 

You shook your head, getting yourself back to the present time and starting working again. Your lack of rest doesn't help in getting distracted with thought every minute but you were doing the best you could. Plus, work helps you not to think about anything else. And that’s good. 

You really needed a break from thinking. 

⋆˚࿔ finally the london trip arrived 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

yourusername made a post

liked by nikolabff, beatricebff, francolapinto, landonorris and 678,435 others

yourusername: first few days back in london = first few days of happiness ❤️‍🩹

tagged: @nikolabff , @beatricebff , @dorothybff and @francolapinto

view more comments

user345: girl is happy we are happy

user3: omg such QUEENS

↳ francolapinto: i guess ur not talking about me

↳ user3: oh im so talking about you too

↳ francolapinto: 🤨

nikolebff: the girls girled

dorothybff: happy looks very hot on you darling 🫦

beatricebff: can you kiss already??????

↳ yourusername: no ❤️

nikolabff: gossip so good bro was giggling and kicking his feet

↳ francolapinto: it was indeed

↳ alexalbon: better bring that gossip to the paddok asap

↳ yourusername: it's CONFIDENTIAL

↳ alexalbon: booooooo ur so boring

↳ oscarpiastri: i wanna be part of this group please

↳ nikolabff: yes you can sir

↳ francolapinto: i thought no one else was allowed

↳ nikolabff: stfu 🩷

User231: i love this crossover of y/n and formula 1 drivers. I would've never expected it tbh

↳ franstan: same!!! I love it!! Didn't know she was friends with franco

↳ user354: i think they met a few years ago, y/n was asked about it on insta questions and she said they met randomly at a college party

↳ franstan: interesting

User1: girl!!! You look so good omg

francolapinto: te amo amiga so happy to see you happy ❤️‍🩹

↳ yourusername: te amo tambien ❤️‍🩹

↳ user778: EXCUSE YOU ???????

↳ franstan7: OMG OMG OMG

user4: WHAT IS HAPPENING ?

user324: so no one is gonna talk about lando world champion fucking norris being on the likes ????? 🤨🤨🤨🤨

↳ landostan: that was what i was thinking

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ finally the london trip arrived 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Laughter was all over the place as well as a lot of bottles of alcohol with names you haven’t seen in your life. It was finally Saturday night, which meant it was Franco's birthday celebration. And because it was his birthday of course all the decorations were argentina flags everywhere and boca junior club t-shirts for everyone, including you. As you got to his house you were given one at the door to wear it. Fortunately, for you it didn’t ruin your outfit and I could say it looked great on you. Or well, that’s what franco said to you while preparing you a drink you haven’t ever tried before. He said it was called fernet with coke. You were already a bit drunk because you were drinking vodka with the girls while getting ready. You didn’t like vodka that much but after everything that happened in your life, you kinda felt the urge to drown in vodka or tequila. Mi gente latino music was playing non-stop. You knew Franco loved duki and bizarrap, and they were actually at the party. You couldn’t talk to them yet. So everything was a bit crazy even if you weren’t that many people. He was just a close friend to franco. So i guess it was like 60 people. Way too many people to be honest but for a famous 2 times world champion it was really a small amount of people so it was super intimate. 

“There you go, hermosa” he said, handing you the glass full of black liquid. You looked at it a bit worried in a funny way and grabbed it. He let out a cute laugh. “Try it, you’re gonna like it, i promise” he encouraged you. He couldn’t resist the view of you with that boca juniors on. Probably, the combination of you and that was his heaven made on earth. He was really down for you, since it felt like forever. Probably since that night at that party back 6 years ago or so. You always have a different light that anyone can match. and that’s what he liked most about you along with your authenticity. You were so unique to him. He looked at you biting his lip a little trying not to be so obvious. 

You tried the drink looking into his eyes. You were really close  but you felt really comfortable. Your friends have left you alone with him the minute he came forward to  you, of course. They really believed you could work out with him. And after vodka and long talks about it with them, maybe you would give it a try. But it scared you, you didn’t want to use him as a friend. So it was a risky situation in your opinion. Although, you could see he liked you for a long time now. And you found him funny and really attractive in your opinion. You give it a few more sips to taste it fully. “Oh I think I like it,” you said, giving him a funny smile. 

“I told you. I’m the best fernet preparer in this whole country… and also, I did it with love just for you” he said, making you laugh and blush after the last sentence he said. 

“I’m sure it’s the love you put in it” you gave it another sip looking at him. His face turned red and let out such a cute giggle. Alcohol was making you melt for your best friend? We guess so.

He got closer grabbing your waist and planted a sweet kiss on your cheek making you nervous as you never felt for a long time. However, it felt weird. Maybe as if this shouldn’t be happening. 

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Franco’s house was enormous. The party was being held at the gallery near his garden. It was cold but the lights and the people stuck to each other made it warmer. You were with your girls again dancing to bad bunny and los del espacio songs. You didn’t understand a word because Spanish was definitely not your talent. You tried to learn because of Franco, and he tried to teach you, but failed every time. You did learn a few words anyway but speaking fluidly was something you won’t ever do. Or that’s what you thought about it. It was your third fernet. You didn’t know it was so good. Also it could make you so drunk. And you were way too drunk by now but you never felt so happy. You were laughing about anything and everything. Dancing without a care in the world. Enjoying being surrounded by your friends. Charles wasn’t on your mind nor any trace of him or his family or the history behind you two. Memories have faded away, washed by the alcohol in your veins. You didn’t remember having so much fun since forever. Your girls were right. Life was so much more than Charles, you were so much more than what you were with him. And all of this you have it because of you and you alone. In that moment you felt liberated. Free from the curse it was put on you. Free of judgment. Free of insecurities. Until you saw that damn mullet and when it turned around you felt kind of speechless. Your eyes locked in that man you didn’t know but he was so hypnotic. You couldn’t stop looking at him. 

“Girl! Close your mouth, you're drooling! Is it for franco, huh?” Nikola joked when she saw you like that, making you laugh while shaking your head. 

“No it isn’t girls, is that guy over there i don’t  know who he is but he is so beautiful” you said pointing your finger in his direction unconsciously. Because when you looked at him again he was looking at you straight in the eyes. You almost freaked out and ran away from there. His fucking smile. What the hell is happening to you? Your friends looked over at him as well with no simulation at all. The four of you were pretty obvious. And that’s when another guy turned around to see where his mate was looking over with that face. Nikola almost fell to the floor.

She turned around freaked out, making all of you stop looking at them so weird. Alcohol makes you behave so embarrassing for your liking. 

“Holy shit girls, it’s oscar fucking piastri and lando norris” her eyes were leaving her face for a bit. You grabbed her arms still confused. You didn’t know them but you heard nik talking about that oscar a few times. Betty and Dottie looked over at them again but they were gone. 

“Okay they are gone nik” dottie said. Betty took a sip from her drink. You wanted to say something but you felt someone grab your waist from behind and kiss your head.

“Hello ladies” of course it had to be franco. You smiled nervously looking at your friends. One of your hands placed over Franco's arms not wanting him to let go. You liked it. Or that’s what you drowned in alcohol though about it. 

“Hello mister, i guess we will grab more drinks at the bar, goodbye bye byeee” Betty said, taking her two girls with her leaving you alone with franco. You laughed and resigned. Nik gave franco a warning sign ‘im watching you’ making franco laugh too. And they disappeared through the people dancing and talking. 

He kissed your cheek letting you go a bit so you could turn around to face him. “Hey handsome, where have you been? Are you having fun?” you said surrounding his neck with your arms and he did the same around your waist. He nodded in a smile. 

“Now that I'm back with you, I'm really having fun,” he said cheeky.

“Oh shut up” you said rolling your eyes funny because of his flirty side. 

“Hey, I'm telling the truth. I was with my school friends though ,they came from home” he told you and made you smile while stroking the curls on his head gently. Your fingers in his hair sent shivers down his spine. He couldn’t stop looking at your lips and you noticed. But you liked it so you let him. 

“I’m happy you’re enjoying your night fran. You deserve all of this love, world champion” you said sweetly looking at his eyes so shiny and deep green right now. Your words made him melt. 

And there were you, the girl who can win over the man known for being the most professional at flirting. You always win with him. He is so down bad for you he felt stupid. You were so beautiful in his eyes. So amazing. He hated Charles so much. He even celebrated when he retired. They couldn't even pretend to like each other and actually it was one of the most famous feuds between drivers in the history of the sport. Franco just couldn’t comment anything positive about charles. Even if he tried he just couldn’t. The most infamous moment was when Charles won his first championship and he was asked about it. He said he didn’t want to comment about it because he had nothing to comment about. So franco started to be known as the guy who was nice to everyone except for charles leclerc. And it was hilarious to see because no one knew why. And the why was always you. 

Franco wanted to have you and couldn’t. Charles had left you alone and destroyed another woman. How could he? Franco took that as an insult. You were an amazing woman. The most amazing woman he has ever met and that asshole did that to you. He just couldn’t stand him. Breathing the same air as Charles was unbearable for him. 

All of these thoughts rambling around and neither of you didn’t realize you were kissing already. Your lips melting into each other in the sweetest and softest kiss you have ever had. Even better than any kiss Charles could have given you before. You hated yourself for comparing every guy in your life with Charles, but you couldn’t help it. But this felt different. It was sweet but at the same time it felt so wrong. 

But you couldn’t stop. 

And you didn’t want to.

⋆˚࿔ TO BE CONTINUED 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

chapter fiver: here.

author's note: things are getting complicated around here!!!

tag list: : @a-beaverhausen , @priniya , @annaluna12 , @thehoplessromanticclub , @emryb , @hadids-world , @kaztheemyth , @freyathehuntress , @diorbrxtz , @theseerbetweenus , @sie17136 , @leila-030304 , @charlesgirl16 , @ricciardosheart , @weekendlusting

[sugrhigh]

BOY NEXT DOOR 9 - ( c.s )

part eight

summary- you and your roommates live beside a bunch of senior hockey players, one of them being the infamous team captain chris sturniolo. he’s effortlessly flirty and undeniably attractive, but he’s also a pain in your ass. you find that you have to fight between lust and hatred as you finally get to know the boy next door, whether you want to or not.

warnings- angst, swearing, i think that’s it

a/n: i’m back my little goblins let’s get it!!!! part ten of this series will be the final part, and then i plan on writing an ‘epilogue’ type chapter to wrap it all up. i’m hoping to have them up as quickly as possible, but ive been absolutely slammed so im sorry if it takes me a minute. i love u always and i’ve missed being on here so i hope you enjoy <3

(if you asked to be tagged in the last part and weren’t tagged it’s bcs it wouldn’t let me!! i’m so sorry i tried my hardest)

to be let down, you have to expect something from someone. it’s a mistake you’ve made far too frequently in your years on earth, especially in college, but this time around the grief is debilitating.

you spend the rest of your weekend locked inside your room, attempting to sleep away the heartbreak. somehow dreaming almost makes it worse; for a second you’re able to forget about being completely humiliated, until you wake up in reality once more.

it doesn’t help that chris has been absolutely blowing up your phone since the moment you left. every call and text goes unanswered. it’s impossible to read them, so most of the time you don’t.

hell, you can’t even open your curtains because you’re too scared that he’ll be looking back at you when you do. so you block out the sunlight, ensuring that your room matches your dreary feelings.

you figure he’ll give up on trying to talk to you eventually. you’re not different. he’s not different. and once chris regains that pride of his, he’ll go right back to fucking some other girl he won’t care about half as much.

thoughts like those make you cry even harder, as much as you hate it. but you know the disinterest will wash over him sooner or later, and you resent that inevitable day.

cassidy and ramona check on you pretty much every other hour. it makes you feel even worse that they’re so concerned, but neither of them have ever seen you like this. at least not since freshman year, when you dated an upperclassman for a couple months just for him to dump you over text.

even that heartache was relatively short-lived. but this pain follows you into the week, trailing behind you like a shadow you can’t get rid of. it sits beside you in class, curls up next to you in bed, weighs your shoulders down whenever you walk.

it feels like you’re struggling to stay afloat, to even act like a real human anymore. chris consumes your brain, and so do the ‘what if’s’ of your situation. it makes the week drag on, even though you try to spend most of it asleep.

to make matters worse, his multiple notifications continue with a routine consistency, almost like clockwork. you figured he’d already be over it, but he clearly doesn’t want to make himself easy to forget.

you have to admit that you’re glad his persistence lasted at least this long, even if it’s for selfish reasons. you’re disgusted that the attention satisfies you, but it’s not an unwelcome change considering all you’ve been feeling lately is queasy.

still, you don’t read them, or pick up when he calls. you can’t hear his voice, because you know it’ll absolutely break you.

and then finally, on friday, you see him in the flesh. you’re walking home from your bus stop after the only lecture you managed to get to that day, and there he is, getting out of his car.

your throat seizes up; there’s no way to avoid this. it’s easy to ice someone out over text, but it’s a hell of a lot harder when he’s your neighbor.

before you can snap your head away he’s turning to look in your direction, eyes equally as wide as yours once the recognition washes over him. he looks like shit, and yet he’s still so goddamn beautiful it makes you physically sick.

for a brief moment, everything stops. you just stare at each other.

chris takes in you in, the way you look noticeably drained. he feels that familiar nauseous pang in his stomach flare up, knowing that he stole the spark from your eyes.

the worst part is that you’ll never look at him with that fire again. there’s nothing he can do to bring it back now, no way to reverse the past.

then—before he can decide what to do in the present—you break the spell, cutting through your other neighbor’s lawn to get to your front porch. everything in him wants to run after you, so much so that he has to physically restrain himself.

you hear him calling after you, and something about him shouting your name stirs the tears awake once more. but you make it through the door before they fall, because you can’t show any more vulnerability than you already have.

getting inside doesn’t mean that you make it up the stairs, though. the physical and emotional exhaustion catches up to you, and you collapse around halfway through your blurry climb to your room.

your elbows dig into your kneecaps, hands holding your head while you sob. it seems impossible to catch your breath, or calm down in the slightest, and your cries only grow louder.

normally you’d be careful about the noise, but there’s no one to hide from right now. nobody is home. it’s just you and your thoughts, which, as always, are full of him.

you may be able to push him out of your life, but you have a feeling he’ll be lingering in the corners of your mind forever.

the post-game locker room mood is completely miserable tonight. after that last minute loss and the thirty minute bitch-session they just endured from their coach, it honestly should be.

chris barely even has his skates off before his teammates are all over him, which he expected but still dreaded.

his head’s not in it, and everybody knows.

“what the fuck is wrong with you, man? it’s like you’re not even awake out there.” one of the team’s leading defensemen, luke, yanks him up by his jersey roughly.

for a second he pauses, setting his jaw and puffing his chest out slightly. the accusation, though it’s not completely untrue, pisses him off.

so much so that chris retaliates by shoving him back to his rightful place a foot away. “get the hell off of me, man.”

luke looks like he’s ready to jump into action again, but connor steps in between before anything else can happen. he’s also very visibly angry, a side that doesn’t come out often.

and just because he stopped a physical fight from breaking out doesn’t mean he’s going to stay silent. “he’s right. you’re playing like shit, and we‘re way too far into the season to be blowing it now, especially with selection show right around the corner.”

chris can feel his blood is boiling at this point, knowing that even his roommate is going to support this kind of disrespect towards his own captain. the rest of the team is watching silently, but he can’t find it anywhere in himself to care.

the words have already bubbled up, and he won’t hold them back anymore.

“oh come on, it’s not like anyone else was stepping up! dylan turned the puck over every other play, ben was offside during that odd man rush, and don’t even get me started on you and the high sticking penalty that just lost us that fucking game.” he shoves his pointer finger against connor’s chest for emphasis, trying to make sure his criticism stings as much as possible.

but his friend is quick to swat his hand away, shaking his head once sharply.

“no, you don’t get to turn it on everyone else. you lost it for us during that sorry excuse of a penalty kill. you let that little UMass shit go right by you, which is why he had a wide open shot to score the game winner. you’ve been making dumb mistakes like that for two weeks now, and we all know why.”

that implication is enough to send chris over the edge, because nobody has the right to mention what happened between you and him. knowing about the situation doesn’t mean they should get to speak on it.

he can feel his fingernails digging into his palms, both hands balled into tight fists at his side. the anger coursing through his body makes him shake ever so slightly, almost like he’s humming.

“keep going and i’ll bust your fucking face in.” chris says, voice eerily calm despite the fact that his body is screaming.

but connor doesn’t back down; he stands tall with an unwavering gaze that’s more serious than ever before. “you gotta grow a pair and start being our captain again. you fucked up, and losing someone you’re actually into because of that sucks. most of us have been there. but trying to throw everyone under the bus is bullshit when you’re the one that needs to get it together.”

nothing about his words are intentionally meant to hurt, and chris knows that, but for some reason they do. probably because he doesn’t want to hear the truth, or start coming to terms with the fact that he actually did lose you.

he really doesn’t ever want to accept it.

but his ego won’t let him say that. instead, chris shifts his gaze to observe the rest of the room, at all of his teammates, before focusing on connor once again.

“if you don’t think that i’m your captain anymore then find a new one.” he spits.

the room somehow gets even more quiet; everyone is stunned by the out-of-character reaction. for the most part, chris really is a good leader. they all voted for him to represent the team when it came time, and the group dynamic has been great since then.

but he doesn’t feel like that guy now. he’s not sure who he is anymore. so he throws the rest of his equipment into his bag and yanks it over his shoulder.

“really, chris?” it’s ben this time, who’s clearly dumbfounded by the theatrics.

he doesn’t respond, and he tries not to hesitate too much as he makes his way out of the locker room. everyone lets him pass, which makes it even harder to leave.

it feels so wrong, but his feet keep pushing him forward regardless.

when chris finally makes it home twenty minutes later, the frustration has only festered. he doesn’t like anything he’s doing, and yet it’s spiraling out of his control. by the time he gets to his room, tears of aggravation have made their way down his face.

he wipes them away harshly as he stares out his window at your room, which is still closed off by your curtains. it’s like his heart seizes up just from being this close to you, knowing that you’re in there yet he can’t reach you.

and maybe that’s the problem. chris loves hockey, but at the end of the day he clearly loves you more. and with things the way that they are, his heart is fully wrapped up in you, not the game.

it’s terrifying, and it’s painful. he never thought that there’d be anyone to test his bachelor lifestyle until you came around, and he can’t just go back to normal because he doesn’t know how.

he’s been permanently changed, and it feels like a huge part of his new life is suddenly missing.

you saw the deepest parts of him, parts that he didn’t even know existed, and he saw the same side of you. you challenged him in ways he’d never experienced, and he loved that he always felt like he was evolving when you were together.

now he just feels stagnant, unsure of himself.

the only thing he’s sure of is that he needs you, whether that makes him inconsiderate or not. he can’t keep sleepwalking through life, but he’s not sure what else there is to do.

simply put, he misses you like hell. so he lays back in bed and closes his eyes, trying to remember what it felt like to have you right beside him.

@fawnchives @l9vesick @55sturn @luverboychris @teapartyprincess4two @pinksturniolo @mattinside @stonermattsgf @impureals @chrisactualwife @fikefries @riasturns @mattybsbitch @mattsmunch @sturnifyed @julessspoetry @beijhe @gnxosblog @braindead4l @orangeypepsi @ponyosturniolo @cupidsword @rainydayenthusiast @sturnvvz @wurlibydominicfike @poopydroopt @bernardsleftbootycheek @trilliwarner @rubyjanexxx @reallykaz @neatcarrot767 @kirby0strombolli @bunnysturns @junnniiieee07 @hrt-attack @sturnssmuts @stunza @beccaluvschris @asturniolos @slutz4sturniolos @mattslolita @alorsxsturn @sturnrc @chrissystur @kellsbells-18 @realqueenofpepsi @snowysosturn @secretfangirly @scarlettbitches @satvisfavetoodles

[triasticalwarlock]

More Adam brainrot with me(blood lust addition)-

Can I just talk about the size difference that you and Adam have in blood lust?

Look, just look. If adams hand is that big compared to lutes how big is it compared to yours? Like, your hand is just fucking engulfed in his, your hand is probably big enough just to wrap around his finger. A single finger, our hand must be the size of a peach or something. But the size difference just scratches the little itch in my brain to perfectly, so. :/

I know I've said this before, but imagine cuddling this dude. At our size in the story, if he picked you up, you would like a baby in his arms. He definitely likes to just grab your face and squish it, might shake you around lightly to. He would totally play with your ears, bending them and shifting them around, it helps him when he's stressed (he'll also squeeze your boobs/ass but we don't talk about that).

How he would just tower over you, he must have to bend his neck and back at a awkward angle just to look at you. If he got to his knees, he would probably still have to look down a little bit. He would let you hang onto his horns, sit on his shoulders, also letting you swing on his arms. Imagine him giving you his helmet, the mask overlapping your heads and a little bit of your shoulders. He is a little disappointed he can't preen your wings, but he doesn't hate them at all, likes to play with them actually, like your ears. And not only will he lend you his helmet, as well as his robe. And he'll let you keep it, he probably has more than a thousand of those things in his probably-house-like-closet.

Just like- LOOK

HIS HEAD IS SO MUCH BIGGER THAN LUTES. YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO BARLEY WRAP YOUR BODY AROUND IT. IF HE LAID HIS HEAD ON YOUR STOMACH, YOU COULD JUST- HUDHWMSJHXNDKFHFHDY

On to more sinister aspects-

I have full expectations that Adam is going to lose his shit at some point in this story, just lose his fucking mind. More than likely during the extermination(s). Just go apeshit. I personally think that Adam is going to be a fast burn even with you being a sinner because 1, the creator themself said they are shit at writing slowburn. And 2, in the SC (special chapter) they say, 'you've already met all the characters and they've all fallen into your hands', or something along those lines. So I think that Adam going to get obsessed pretty quickly. But back to what I was saying; he's more than likely going to lose his shit during the extermination because he can't reach you due to the others keeping him at bae, doesn't help that you're more than likely in the hotel it self because you know these motherfuckers are not going to take the chance of you getting hurt.

So he just starts shooting his holy light every where, screaming; 'get the fuck out of the way!' or, 'im going to kill all you motherfuckers!'. He just wants to take you 'home', and his pissed off because there's these little 'failures' (from what he calls them) keeping him from his main goal, other than killing all the residence of the hotel. But imagine if he does get to you, that he had lute hold vaggie out of the way and let Adam sneak in. You want to run up to him, he's your 'friend'. But you know that something isn't right with the way he's calling for you; his voice slightly shaking and desperate sounding, like he can't stand another second without you in his field if vision. His glowing gold eyes crazed and wide, like he can't let anything escape his friend of vision. Can't miss the chance of seeing you. And when he finally finds you, he grabs you, picking you up and forcfuly hugging you. Trying to soothe your cries, getting distressed and worried as you didn't calm down. Covering your mouth as he sneaks away to a portal to heaven, some how escaping everyone's field of vision. And as he stepped into the portal, he knew, he had you.

[ewanmitchellconnoisseur]

"𝑨𝒈𝒐𝒏𝒚" - 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕 2 Aemond x Reader

A/N: I had not originally planned on this being a series but the Aemond girlies loved the first one so here is a second as a lil gift. //Divider by @firefly-graphics & @cafekitsune

Summary: You wake up to unfortunate circumstances. It only gets worse when you finally get some answers. A dream confirms that whatever chance you had at having a normal life was gone.

TW: Blood, Death.

←  Previous Part • Final Chapter →

Word Count: 3.6k (Not proofread, we die like men 🫡Im also just too tired I'll do it eventually🤣)

You yawned as you sat up in your bed rubbing your eyes. You look over to the spot Aemond was in and simply see a flower. Blushing you reach over and smell the flower.

You look over to the bath on the other side of the room and notice there's no steam coming out of it. You stand up and grab your robe off of the armchair next to your bed.

You walk over to the door after you wrap yourself in the armchair and attempt to open the door. You're shocked when the door doesn't open or move an inch.

"Hello?" You try opening the door again but they don't budge. "Is anyone out there?" You wait but hear no response.

You're unsure of what to do now. You look around your room for something to do. All that you manage to find are some of your old toys and unfinished projects.

You sit in front of the fireplace trying to think of what could possibly be going on. You remember a piece of the wall that could move and search for it, trying your best to remember exactly where it was. You end up finding it next to your dresser.

The piece moves easily and you reach inside. Your hand touches something and you instantly remember. You lay down flat on your stomach reach in with both hands and pull out the wooden box.

You're filled with nostalgia as you sit down on your bed with the box. You blow off the smoke and open it up.

Inside lies a small journal which you place to the side already deciding you have to see what young you used to write about. Inside also lies a small cushion you had sewn for you and Halaena's dolls. One of your teeth which Aegon convinced you to let him take out by tying it with string to a door.

You're confused for a moment at the last item. It's a black handkerchief with gold detailing. You pick it up and stare at it a moment before you remember.

Aemond had found you crying in a corner of the library covered in dirt, mud and God knows what else. He had asked you what happened and although you didn't want to tell him he convinced you too. You admitted that your brothers had joined Aegon in tormenting you by throwing mud at you insisting it was just a joke.

Aemond felt bad especially since he understood what it meant to be at the end of their cruel jokes. He pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the mud off of your face before walking you to his mother's chambers.

Alicent cleaned you off and got you a clean dress before seeking out the boys and your mother. All three of them were forced to shovel horse shit while you, Helaena and Aemond watched and ate cake.

The memory brought a smile to your face. Aemond had asked you for the handkerchief back but you told him you couldn't find it.

You pick the journal back up excitedly and open it up to a random page.

King's Landing 117 AC

Dear Diary,

Today my brother was born. Father named him Joffrey, I personally think his name is stupid but I held my tongue. Septa Anne would be proud. I went with the boys to the dragon pit today. It was awfully boring. Aemond and I watched while they got to practice commands. AND YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT THEY DID! They gave us pigs! PIGS! Called them the "Pink Dreads".

Sometimes I wish I could just gouge out Aegon's eyes and put them in his soup when he isn't looking...maybe I can get Helaena to catch a beetle for me...

Anyways. I went to the kitchen to get cake but then Harwin stole it! He said it was taxes? WHAT EVEN IS TAXES?

You can't help but laugh as you continue to read. You fall asleep while reading about the time Aegon fell out of a tree while trying to grab a bird.

You wake up and blink a couple times, clearing your vision. You sit up and jump back when you see Aemond next to you lying in your bed.

"Gods! When did you get here?" He has a smirk on his face as he continues to read while eating an apple.

"A while ago. You were sleeping peacefully I didn't wish to wake you." You nod and look at what he's holding. You quickly notice it's your diary and try to snatch it out of his hand but he's quicker. He clicks his tongue at you as you try to reach for it. "Im quite enjoying this. Listen to this one. Aemond gave me a flower today!"

"Aemond! Stop! Give it back" Your face flushes in embarrassment. "I was a kid!" He drops the apple and manages to grabs your hands with one of his and holds them down.

"He is so cute!" He looks back at you with a shocked expression. "You thought I was cute, princess?" Aemond pulls you to sit in his lap and you hide your face in his neck out of embarrassment. "Aemond smiled at me today!"

"Stop!!! Please I beg of you!" He laughs and puts the journal down.

"And this!" He lifts you out of his neck and waves the handkerchief in your face. "You swore to me that you lost it! Liar!"

Aemond begins tickling you and rolls you over caging you under him. He leans down and leaves a trail of kisses from your neck down to your collarbone.

"Aemond?" He hums back in response. "Why was I locked in my chambers?" He stops kissing you for a moment before he leaves a final one on your cheek and sits up.

"You need to break fast first...then we can talk."

Aemond calls for food and for your handmaids to prepare you a bath. You're shocked at first cause of how open he was about being in your chambers while you were fully undressed. You wanted to ask if the talk had gone well about the betrothal and if that's why he was ok with people seeing him here but you opted to wait.

He watches you eat occasionally grabbing slices of fruit off of your plate.

"If you want one you could just take from the tray you know?" He smirks as he puts another grape in his mouth.

"But they taste much better off of your plate." He leans over and bites the strawberry that you're holding.

"So." He leans back in his chair. "Are you going to tell me why I was locked in here?"

The atmosphere immediately changes and is tense. He sighs deeply.

"...King Viserys died..."

Your eyes widen and you drop the food in your hand back onto the plate. Your heart clenches at the news. You had spent much of childhood following him around, you had even willingly chosen to be his cupbearer in some of his council meetings simply because you wanted to be near him.

"...that doesn't explain why I was locked in my chambers Aemond. Matter of fact that is far from an explanation. If my grandsire died I should have been notified."

Aemond fidgets with his hands the same way Alicent does as he looks at the wall.

"Kepus. What are you not telling me?" He continues staring at the wall occasionally looking at you. "Aemond." [Uncle]

"Aegon was crowned king." He says it quickly with his head held high. "As the king's firstborn son, he is the rightful heir. He was crowned before the masses in the dragon pit."

Aemond watches as your breathing quickens and your facial expressions. Your lips are pressed together as you're clenching your hands so tight.

"Who made that decision?"

"It was the King's wish. He said it upon his deathbed to my mother." You roll your eyes and stare at the wall. There was a battle going on within your head. Part of you was understanding of the firstborn son point but the other part was devastated for your mother.

"Does my mother know? What of my grandmother? I was supposed to leave with her this mourning."

"...your grandmother interrupted the crowning. She was riding Meleys, many people died and just as many were injured." You cover your mouth with a shaking hand. "I believe she is already on her way to Dragonstone probably to speak to your mother..."

Meanwhile in Dragonstone

Rhaenys wasted no time heading straight for the princess. She had no time for formalities.

She walks into the room seeing them both by the fireplace.

"Thank you, Ser Lorent." Rhaenys stops at the head of the table. "Princess Rhaenys, might we hope for news of Lord Corlys' recovery?"

"Viserys is dead." Rhaenyra's face drops as Daemon turns around. "I grieve this loss with you Rhaenyra. My cousin, your father...possessed a kind heart." Rhaenyra struggled to comprehend what was happening. She knew her father would die soon but hoped she would be back to King's Landing in time to be there.

"There is more. Aegon has been crowned as his successor" Rhaenyra clutches her stomach as Daemon walks over.

"They crowned him?" Rhaenyra was looking off into space, grieving.

"How did Viserys die?" Daemon had a look on his face that no one could quite place. Was he sad? Angry? Or just plain confused.

"I could not say." They both look at each other.

"How long ago?" Rhaenyra asks.

"A day past, perhaps two. I was made prisoner in my quarters while the Queen made her preparations."

"Viserys has been slain." Daemon watches Rhaenyra.

"Alicent demanded you declare for Aegon." It was not a question, Rhaenyra already knew that it had happened.

"She did. I refused her." Rhaenyra let out a shaky breath.

"And yet you are alive." Of course, Daemon was skeptical, when was he ever not?

"The High Septon crowned Aegon in the Dragonpit. I witnessed it myself just before I fled on Meleys." Rhaenyra was still clutching her stomach.

"They crowned him before the masses." Rhaenys nodded.

"So that the masses would see him as their rightful King," Rhaenys responded.

"That whore of a Queen murdered my brother and stole his throne. And you could have burned them all for it." Daemon's unknown emotion was now evident, he was angry, livid even.

"A war is like to be fought over this treachery, to be sure. But that war is not mine to begin. I only rushed this warning to you out of loyalty to my husband and to my house." She took a deep breath. "The greens are coming for you Rhaenyra. And for your children."

"M-my children?" Rhaenyra's face contorted in pain. "My daughter! You brought her with you?" Daemon stood straight up.

"Sadly...no...Alicent had her chambers guarded well and her room had no passages. I'm sorry. I did not wish to leave my granddaughter either."

"You left my daughter with those cunts?" Daemon walked around the table to face Rhaenys. "You left her to become a bargain in this war?"

"I did my best Prince Daemon. We have allies within those walls that can get a message to her. Once I hear word she is alright I will be sending someone in to retrieve her."

"You have done enough." Daemon pointed at her. "I will retrieve my child from the snakes you fed her too."

"Enough Daemon..." Daemon turned to face Rhaenyra who was now hunched over gripping the table. "The babe... it's coming..."

King's Landing

Aemond watched as you paced around the room. You had requested he leave you alone for the a day only allowing in your handmaidens and refusing to see anyone else.

Since you had called for him this morning you hadn't said anything in almost an hour and instead paced around the room looking for the words to start this conversation. Occasionally you would stop, point at him and open your mouth but then you'd scowl and resume pacing again. He could tell you were conflicted.

"Ñuha jorrāelagon, kessa ao sit ilagon? Before you burn a hole into the floor." [My Love, will you sit down?]

"Now is not a time for jokes, Aemond! Do you know what your family has done? This is an act of war! They have usurped the throne right out from under my mother's feet. If you think she will let this go easily- no, if you think Daemon will let this go easily you are all sorely mistaken." you begin pacing again.

Aemond stood up and walked over to you and grabbed your hands.

"Gīda." [Calm] He pushed a strand of hair out of your face. "Everything is going to be ok."

"What will happen to me?" The thought had crossed your mind many times as you wondered what would be made of you.

"My grandsire and the King have agreed to our betrothal. They will announce it as part of the terms if she agrees to declare Aegon as the rightful King and kneel before him and the council."

"Terms?" You back away from him letting go of his hands. "Our marriage would no longer hold meaning Aemond. It would be seen merely as something my mother won in bowing to Aegon, a spoil of war. Either way, she would never say yes."

"Then Aegon will marry us anyway." He shrugs and pulls you back into him as if none of this bothered him. "He is my brother and he knows of the love I hold for you."

"And if I say no?" His face became stern.

"You wouldn't hurt me so."

"You mean the way that you have today?" He sighs deeply. "Why did you not come and free me from my chambers?"

"Because I knew you would leave at the first chance." You look away from him and he turns your face back towards him. "You're mine and I wasn't willing to risk losing what is mine."

You would typically enjoy this possessive air around him but you currently found it suffocating. You wanted nothing more than to put space between you but he was holding you tight against him.

"Aemond. This is not right. You must understand that?" He rolled his eyes and let you go.

"Who sits on the throne is none of my concern and not on my list priority."

"Then what is?" You step towards him angrily.

"You!" he snaps. "You are my only priority. If you say no to marrying me then you will be made prisoner here. You will spend the entirety of this war locked in here." You could tell he was being truthful. "Marry me and you will at least have some freedom."

"Some?" He walked back over to the table and sat down tired of this conversation. "What is some?"

"You will be allowed to walk freely around the castle with a guard of my choosing."

"And Vermithor?" You think of your dragon and where he could be. You had claimed him when you returned to Dragonstone after what happened at Driftmark. Aemond's bravery in claiming Vhagar led you to sneak into where he sleeps and approach the dragon yourself. You had also thought that if you claimed him you could ride to King's Landing and see him. You had learned the song Daemon would sing and tried singing it to him to calm him down. It worked despite almost being burnt to a crisp you had claimed him.

"I will visit him on Vhagar." He reached for your hand but you shied away. "You must understand that my grandsire worries about allowing you to have full freedom. After a while, you will be allowed to go riding."

"How long is a while Aemond?" He visibly gulped and bit the inside of his cheek. "How long?" Your voice was cold and made the hairs on his neck stand.

"Until you give birth to our firstborn." He said it quietly already knowing how you would react. It was smart you'd give them that. They know you wouldn't fly away while your child is in their possession. "My grandfather's decision not my own."

"And did you try to fight him on it?"

"Why would I?" He shrugged but soon noticed the angry expression on your face. "I want marriage with you, I want children." He tried to reach for you again.

"So do I Aemond! But not like this." You take his hand and he pulls you to sit on his lap. "I want us to marry because it is what we want. I want my mother to be there! This isn't the way I want to do this."

Aemond leans his head against your chest.

"My hands are tied, my love." You get off of his lap and walk over to the fireplace facing your back to him.

"I wish to be alone."

"Baby..." You hear him get up and walk over to you.

"Please go...now!" A few seconds later you hear him sigh and leave the room. You sit on the armchair and allow yourself to cry.

This was all too much for you. You worried for your mother and the rest of your family. Did they think you were a traitor now? Will they think you have chosen Aemond's family over them if you were to marry him?

You know there's no way your mother will kneel before Aegon, even if she decides to, Daemon would rather lock her in her chambers than agree to that.

How could they be so foolish? So reckless?

You walk over to your bed and lie down. You go over the pros and cons of agreeing to marry Aemond. You then think about ways you could escape. Maybe agreeing to a betrothal will at least get you the right to walk around, you could find your parent's allies within the walls and find a way back to them.

You can stall the wedding for a while. Aemond would understand you'd prefer to be married only after the war was over and your family could attend.

You soon tire yourself out with all this thinking and fall asleep.

You spend the next day alone in your chambers. Alicent had invited you to join her in breaking your fast but you respectfully declined. You needed more time.

You saw a boat sail out from King's Landing and knew it was most likely Otto heading out to deliver the terms to your mother. You knew it would not go well and they would be lucky if she didn't feed them to Syrax for their treachery.

It was only the following midday when you grew worried. You saw Vhagar fly away from the castle. Part of you wish you knew where he was going and the other part of you remained angry. You thought he knew you better, if he did he would have fought harder for your freedom right? He would have denied Otto's offer and not allowed him to make your marriage into something that they hoped would sway your mother into giving up her crown.

Gods you missed her, you prayed every moment for her safety. For all of their safety.

It rained that night. Something was off. You could feel it in your bones. You tried to sleep hoping it would calm your nerves. Your handmaid brought you tea to help you relax. You soon fell asleep but sadly even your dreams were disturbed.

You wake up on the floor of pitch black. Everything around you was dark. There was no light just darkness. You sat up and looked around.

"Hello?" Your voice echoed. You stood up and began walking around in the dark abyss not knowing where you were going.

"Gēlȳn enkagon jamela!" You hear Aemond's voice. [You owe a debt!]

You quickly turned around but nothing was there.

"Aemond?" You walked in the direction that you heard his voice. As you got closer you noticed your feet getting wet.

"Taoba!" You hear him again but in a different direction. [Boy!]

You turned again where you heard his voice and walked quicker in that direction. You felt something patter on your head and looked up. Nothing was there just darkness but you could for sure feel something wet as if it was rain.

There was a flash of a bright light to which you shielded your face.

"Daor Arrax!" Arrax? That's Luke's dragon.

"Luke? Luke, are you there?" You noticed your clothes clinging to your body as they were now soaked the scent of salty water filling your nose.

"Vhagar! No! No..." What had happened? Why was he saying no?

You look around you quickly trying to make sense of what it is you are hearing. The rain is heavier and you look at your hands. They aren't just wet...they're red. Your dress is now too stained red. You touch your cheek and look back at your hands and see the same red substance.

Something drops from above causing you to step back quickly. More pieces fall from the sky surrounding you. You shield your head and scream as the red rain grows heavier and more pieces fall.

When the rain softens and the sound of stuff falling ceases you open your eyes and look around you. Your face twists in pain as you see pieces of the body of Arrax surrounding you. It only gets worse when you see a human body part. You look closer and notice the hand.

"He got me." You hear his Lucerys voice and you instantly know it was his hand.

You wake up in a sweat your hair sticking to your neck and your pillow drenched. You look up and see Aemond standing at the end of your bed his clothes drenched.

And in that moment you knew.

The war had started.

A/N: So this is clearly turning into a series. Which I'm actually not mad about. Not sure where this is going but naturally the chances of any of this being 100% original is not possible. There are far too many HOTD fanfics for any ending or storyline to be original. I can only hope that it is 100% enjoyable.

I will still obviously do my best to come up with a unique ending but I feel like to have a unique ending people need to die. I need to start killing off characters like Grey's Anatomy 🤣

Anywho I hope y'all enjoyed this part! If you wish to be added to this Taglist or any other one please let me know!

Gen Taglist: @thought--bubble, @valeskafics

[ssivinee]

➢ 𝙴𝚌𝚕𝚒𝚙𝚜𝚎

IVE! Band! Yujin x Band! F reader: You and Yujin seem to agree on a new chapter in your friendship, but she seems to want more than that. The both of you, confused at what the status of your relationship is, let fate do its work... which seemed to be doing very good at its job with the two of you.

Word Count: 5.9 k

Author's Note: *⚠️Warnings: mentions of substance abuse, heavy use of strong language, violence, and harassment.⚠️* This took so long. IM SO SORRY, but December was a rollercoaster of a month frfr, but IM BACK, AND I WILL POST MORE THIS MONTH, I SWEAR. The song isnt mentioned at all in this fic, but this is essentially the song she writes after all this🙂‍↕️.

⚠︎ Directions ⇒ Main | Previous | Next

“You think if I headbutt her, she’ll wake up?” The older mumbles as she squats down, staring at Yena, who is still knocked out from a failed night of partying. Wonyoung looks at her unnie with a face that just said, ‘tf did you just say?’ “Yes, I’d like to think she’s alive and breathing enough to feel that pain, unnie,” Yujin voices as she prepares two cups of coffee and some tea for Wony.

“She just can’t be calm for one second,” Chaewon grumbles. 

Yujin gave them both the run down of what happened last night, leaving out the significant details of your final words to her. “I just didn’t expect Y/n unnie to be the one to help her, even bring her here,” Wonyoung says as she takes the fresh cup of tea from Yujin’s hands, sipping on the steaming hot liquid. 

“True,” Chaewon answers as she sits down softly beside Yena, who begins to stir out of sleep. Her vision felt blurry, rubbing her eyes to gain her senses as she realized she was in Yujin’s apartment. “How the hell did I get here?” Her voice was hoarse, so Yujin jogged to her fridge, handing her a cold bottle of water. “You partied too hard, and Y/n unnie brought you back to our place,” Yena looked puzzled at Wonyoung’s words. “Y/n brought me here?”

“You were so out of it, unnie. Didn’t we already talk about drinking and drugs as something that shouldn’t be combined?” At Yujin’s worried tone, Yena swiped a finger under her nose, feeling the remains of the lingering powder. They knew this wasn’t exactly the time to be lecturing her, but Chaewon’s motherly instincts kicked in, “Look, you know how we feel about you using those, but we also know you're mature enough to know when and where they can be used. You could've been in danger if Y/n didn’t step in.”

Yena groans, sitting up from her position as she chugs the rest of her water. “I know, I know. It was a mistake. I didn’t expect Hayoung to bring some, but when he did, I just went for it…” The three shake their head simultaneously. “That isn’t the best excuse right now. What if Y/n unnie didn’t find you, and you just kept drinking? Who knows what would have happened, unnie,” Wony says, careful in the way she says it. 

Yena just keeps her head down, her head still pounding, and she is just overall disappointed in her choices last night. “How about you give Y/n a ‘thanks for helping me out’ gift,” Chaewon suggests, and Wonyoung nods excitedly. “She works at Evermore cafe on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and Sundays, I think. You’ll probably have the best chance of catching her there.” The three now look at Wonyoung, worried about how she knew that information. “What? I like getting my tea and coffee there every day,” She pouts, sipping on her tea again as everyone giggles. “I’ll go with you if you want, unnie?” Yujin says, picking up her car keys to drop Yena off at home and get her bearings together. “We can do that,” She nods, trying to collect herself and put on her sweater that wreaked of alcohol. “God, I need a shower and a change of clothes.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice, girl,” Yujin says with a chuckle, leading her unnie out the door with her wallet, car, and house keys in hand. “What do I even get her as a ‘thank-you’ gift?” Yena asks as she sits on the passenger side, hands clasping her hair as if stressed. “How about some nice set of flowers? That would be a good start.” Yujin says, turning her car on and letting it heat up. Yena nods, agreeing to the idea.

“Why would she help me?” Yujin side eyes the older, as she was trying to focus on the road. “Maybe she just saw a girl in need of help and did it out of the kindness of her heart,” Yujin suggested, and it made Yena think. “Then I should get her some pink roses. That’s a good thank-you gift, right?” She asks, a bit stressed again, but Yujin pats her shoulder to calm her down.

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate it, unnie.” “How are you so sure?!” Yena flails her arms, quickly regretting it as she feels the pulsing headache return. “One thing I won't forget is how appreciative Y/n is. We were friends at one point, you know?” Yena’s eyes glimmer, reminded that you guys knew each other at one point. 

“True!” Yena gets excited, shimmying in the passenger seat, followed by an ‘ouch’ that had Yujin giggling.

You were working an afternoon shift as usual at the cafe and were currently making a few drinks. It was a Sunday afternoon, a little before sundown, so the place wasn’t flooded with customers like every weekday. As you took your time making two drinks, you heard the door ringing, usually correlating to people entering.

“Hello, welcome to Ever—” once you looked up, you couldn’t even finish your sentence. You were stunned to see Yujin and Yena standing in the cafe. The shorter one held pink roses wrapped in pastel yellow paper and a large bouquet of white flowers in the younger’s arm. Meanwhile, Yujin held a large, nice-looking blue paper bag in her hands. “Did you guys want a drink today?” you asked nicely, knowing Yena hadn’t exactly had the best night.

“Well, some kind of herbal tea would be nice, but I wanted to give you these,” Yena said, forwarding the pink flowers across the counter. Just as a thank you for helping me last night.” You waved your hands frantically, “You didn’t have to do that, you know?” You say, but softly take it from her hands; you don’t want to seem rude. “You deserve it. None of us could’ve known what would've happened if you left me there.”

“And uhm,” Yujin spoke, looking down at the bag and flowers, feeling a tad bit nervous. “I wanted to give this to you as a sorry for Yena unnie last night, and… you know… what we talked about last night?” Her wavering voice was noticeable as her eyes met yours. She handed you the larger bouquet and put the bag down on the counter. Yena watched as you took it into your own arms, eyes trailing back to Yujin, who just gave you this look she couldn’t quite point out.

What the hell did the two of you talk about last night?

Yena just stands there, lost, as you give them both a smile, “How about I put these gifts in my locker, and I’ll make you guys your drinks? It’ll be on me for the gifts,” Yena was about to object, but you cut her off, “It’s literally the least I could do.”

You walked to the back room, unlocked your locker, and put the gift in. Knowing that you would probably forget, you decided to remind yourself to put them in water since you wouldn’t be able to for the rest of your shift. As you set the reminder, you began to think, what did the white flowers mean? You weren’t exactly a flower connoisseur to know about these things. All you knew was pink was a sign of thanks.

So you open up the internet really quickly, typing what white flowers mean in Korea. As you read what popped up, hydrangea flowers in white mean an apology. The flowers Yujin gave you specifically, white lilies, roses, and carnations, had you furrowing your brows. Most of them meant sorry and as a sign of respect, but when you read briefly about the carnations, it is said to be a symbol of true love.

Hearing the front door ring again, you couldn’t take the time to look inside the pretty paper bag, just shutting the locker and rushing to the front. “Sorry for the wait. How about I get you some roasted barley tea, Yena? Just to calm you down after everything,” Yena nods appreciatively as you look at Yujin, a brow raised at her. “Want some iced malcha?” You ask, and Yujin’s eyes grow large.

After all these years of not being friends, do you still remember that she liked green tea? Yujin only nods, and you get to work after giving the receipt while Yena looks at her member. “How the fuck did she remember that?” Yujin just shrugs, her eyes never prying off of your figure.

She watched you in your light purple apron, hair tucked into a messy bun, the claw clip struggling to keep your long black hair tamed. You kept your focus on both the drinks, not realizing her strong gaze on your figure. You couldn’t help but smile to yourself; the thought of her giving you such a symbolic gift gave you butterflies in your stomach. 

Despite not being friends for so long, you were, ironically, the friend who never forgot the little things people liked, even if they were your former friends. This may not have been the exact gesture to reconcile your relationship with her, but it was for everyone's peace after all this time.

“Your malcha and tea!” You say a large smile graced your face as they picked up the cups. You see a sense of hesitance in Yujin’s stance, and you look at her, a bit confused, as she stands there awkwardly. “Anything else, Ahn?” Your question snaps her out of her trance, and she shakes her head a bit. “Nope, definitely not! Have a good day!” You stare at them, leaving, your face clearly weirded out. Yena is currently being dragged out the door, and Yujin slaps her forehead with the palm of her hand.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” Yujin kept mumbling as Yena’s tiny body was still behind her, trying to keep up with Yujin’s longer legs as she was being dragged to her car. “Way to give yourself a ‘watch me embarrass myself’ moment,” Yena smiles as the younger side eyes her annoyingly.

They enter the car, still holding their drinks, “Seriously though. what the fuck was that?!” “I don’t know!” Yujin practically yells. She couldn’t answer the question herself. Yujin has never been one to embarrass herself in front of someone, and you being the first person it happened to makes her want to sink into a black hole.

All she wanted to do was ask for your number, which was clearly an epic fail.

By the time they left, several people had come in, and the time passed quickly due to the lack of customers. It was now nearly nine, and you had taken all your belongings and began locking up the store. The night sky was already shining with the moon, and you felt a yawn as you placed the store key in your bag. The walk home was quick, the ten minutes being a breeze, walking into your small apartment that was around five blocks away. 

You slip off your shoes and lay your items on the couch as you walk to the kitchen, immediately trying to heat up some food for yourself. Trying to get the food on the stove faster was the goal as you felt disgustingly drenched in sweat. You jog into your room, get a change of clothes, and decide to take a quick shower. Once you finished, you kept drying your hair with a towel but smelt the food. You take it all in but have a glimpse of the flowers and shopping bag that Yujin and Yena got you.

Looking around your apartment, you take the only vase you own, add some water, and unravel both bouquets to put them in, arranging them to look a bit more appealing. You then remembered you didn’t have the time to check inside the bag yet. After throwing out the papers wrapping paper, you take a seat on the couch, opening it up. You found a dark purple hoodie, an envelope, and a box. 

As you took it out, you realized she had forgotten to take the tag off, and you’re taken aback. “A 150 PRICED HOODIE!” You shriek, looking at it. It seems to be from a smaller brand, and the logo on the front looks unfamiliar to you, but it is still cute. The look of a bunch of vintage-looking flowers, then a statue seemingly stitched heavily into it. You then take a look at the smaller box inside, and it was dark blue with some silver detailing on it.

You open it and gasp, finding a silver bracelet with some aquamarine gemstones around it. ‘My birthstone?’

If only you knew Yujin’s struggle to pick the right one out. Her memory definitely wasn’t as good as yours, but she was in that store, staring at every blue gemstone for an hour straight until she felt sure about your birth month. She finally remembered it was in spring and a month with several exams coming in the months after, so she finally remembered your birthday was in March.

You stared at the bracelet, its colors and shine twinkling in your eyes. Your eyes looked around, but she seemed to remember, at least, to take out the tag for this one. Your hands then rummage in the bag, trying to take out the last item, the envelope. Fingers fumbling to open it, you find a small note inside. The paper had flowers printed on its border, causing you to giggle. ‘What’s up with her and flowers today?’

You begin reading, ‘I don’t want this to be so awkward. I will admit, after all these years, you’re still a good friend. We may not be close at the moment, but I truly appreciate what you’ve done for Yena-unnie and what you told me last night.’

Not close at the moment, huh? That had a tint of blush forming on your face. Was she expecting to get close to you again? You thought it was sweet, and you were both headed in a good direction. You wanted to reminisce more, but the scent of the food seemed to be filling the air. You had to be able to eat so you could work on some music before heading to bed for another shift early in the morning.

You head to your office space, turning on the iridescent lights that glow purple and blue around the room. Your light tap on the mouse automatically turns the monitor of your computer on, showing some notes and photos that have been giving some kind of inspiration. Grabbing the notebook on your desk, you open it to a specific page that lacks writing. 

Your eyes travel all over your space, finding where you last placed your guitar, and you are strumming to try and find the melody that feels right. 

There was slight hope, the interaction with Yujin might’ve given you some inspiration but you were just stuck. The previous songs you created and released were quickly rising in popularity. Your subconscious was not able to keep up with the charts, and it was beginning to weigh on your mind. The pressure to release something better was gut-wrenching and made you want to throw up at the thought of it. 

In two days, you were guesting on a radio station about the group's rising fame, and you couldn’t shake the anxious feeling in the pit of your stomach. The girls seemed to be okay with you going alone; they were busy with other major things in their lives at the moment. 

You were generally good with public speaking and performing, but interviews felt insanely different. It was going to be a constant loop of being aware of your language and the questions being thrown at you, but you didn't want to think about it until the day of.

But thinking that was a big mistake as you sat inside the station, the two hosts sitting in front of you. 

While you were just a ball of anxiety waiting to burst, Yujin listened in, hearing from Yena about the news of you being on the show. 

“Good evening, people of Korea! Welcome back to the Rising Loud Show! We’re your hosts, Lee Jihyun and Kim Hyunju. We actually have a special guest today. From the group rising to fame, Abyss, we have their main vocal, bassist, composer, AND producer of the group, Cha Y/n!”

The two hosts cheer and applaud as you smile from across the table, “Thank you, it’s an honor to be here.

“Oh, ever so humble. You’ve been making waves in the band world, Y/n. I think it’s okay to boast from time to time,” the male host, Hyunju, spoke, causing the ladies to giggle. He continues, “So your group recently hit nine hundred thousand listeners on Spotify last week, and your song Love Me or Leave Me has been used on some large music shows here in Korea! How does it feel?”

“Truth be told, it is a wild roller coaster in the beginning. We got so much support from the get-go that I almost felt a bit frazzled. Now I’m just happy and a little pressured.”

“Pressured? Why is that?”

“When writing both Drowning and lmolm, the writing process came quite easy to me since they were about experiences I’ve had in life. Truthfully, those experiences aren’t many, so now, you could say I’ve hit writer's block.” Jihyun, the female host, perks up, “Well, that's some interesting information there, folks. Would you like to share some of those experiences with the world?” You laugh at the question, knowing that once you aired this out, it would be on the internet forever.

“Well, our latest release was actually about a one-sided relationship I had with a toxic ex. I felt like I was on a leash in the relationship because I was so in love, and then they talked about me behind my back, and it gave me a reality check,” you nod. Yujin, on the opposite end, listened intently, not knowing the back story behind you and Soyeon. “It sucked, but in the end, it got me to where I am today.”

“Drowning, on the other hand, is somewhat misinterpreted as a love song. It’s written in that way, but it's about an old broken friendship I had.” Yujin’s eyes softened at your words, sitting comfortably on her couch as she stared at the ceiling. “I felt bad? I say that as a question because I’m not sure. She may be listening right now.” You giggle.

“As kids, we were best friends. We did everything together, and it was such a fun relationship, but that seemed to also be the downfall of our friendship. Since we were around each other so much, people seemed to pit us against each other, and it worked until we became practically enemies. One was trying to be a thorn in the other side, and sometimes, we just wanted to piss each other off. This year, the bad blood became tiring to bear, so we made up.”

“Do you mind telling us who it is? There are a few speculations, so,” Yujin hears the host have a suspicious voice, but you state no with a chuckle, avoiding the topic quickly.

“So, new music, right? Let’s talk about it!”

“Well… there isn’t really much to say. It's still very much in the early stages of the process, and I’ll need some help with it. I may ask my members,” you say with a smile. Yujin kept listening in; she never heard you talk for such a long time in years, and the radio show made her feel like you were speaking to her while she just listened.

She loved it. Listening to you speak about your love for music, working at your job and enjoying it, speaking about other hobbies and wishes made her feel like you were her best friend all over again. It only made her think deeper. How was she gonna go about this?

Showing up to your job every day would be plain weird. She didn’t want to just make it seem like everything was back to normal because she didn’t want to come off as nonchalant. She also didn’t want to be overbearing and reach out herself.

“Why don’t you just let the world take its course?” Yujin jumps in her spot, hearing Wonyoung, who she finds sitting on the island stool and sipping some tea. “Now, why the hell would you do that to me… AND WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS DRINKING TEA?”

The younger girl shrugs, but her brow is raised, “Stop worrying about how to be close again and just let it take its course.” 

“I know your right, but like I can’t help but-”

“You can’t help but overthink. I know, unnie, I know.” Wonyoung takes a seat, hearing the muffled voices from the radio show.

“Do you like her?” Yujin looks at her in surprise, “W-what? I don’t…”

Wony raises her brow, clearly not believing her, and Yujin sighs, “I’m not sure.” “Wel,l that isn't an acceptable answer,” Yujin’s brows furrowed. “What does that mean?”

“Either you like someone, or you don’t, no in between.” Wonyoung sips on her tea again as Yujin scoffs. “It’s true, though. Even an inkling of liking someone is liking someone.” Yujin lowers her head, knowing she’s right.

“I guess I do.”

“What about your love life right now?” The two of them hear the phone say out loud, one of the hosts asks, and they hear you giggle. “No one is currently in the picture, but who knows? I wouldn’t turn away love.”

“I’m not sure anyone expected you to be a romantic, Miss Cha,” the two hosts laugh as the younger girls listen more intently. “I believe love can equate to a different kind of happiness. One that completes you.” The hosts grow quiet at your words, and Wonyoung smiles, “I didn’t expect unnie to be such a heartthrob.”

“She’s always been that way,” the older smiles a bit, and the maknae stares at her. “It’s why she was loved by everyone. She always returned that same love,” she smiles and looks at the girl next to her, the younger, giving her a mischievous grin. “You're so in love with her.” “I’M NOT IN LOVE!”

“Don’t lie to yourself~”

It had been a few days after your radio guest, and life had been… a bit harder than usual. You had been given many more hours to work the first few days, and you were barely able to hang out with your band. Even now, you are still struggling to write a song.

A few hours after your guest appearance, Ning Ning reached out to you, wanting to help in the process. The two of you began to write it the day after, but since then, it seems like Ning Ning has been ignoring it for some unknown reason.

Your frustrations were beginning to build up. You never wanted to be angered by Ning Ning. Everyone in your group had they’re own lives and jobs to work on. Yet you knew Ning better out of everyone. 

Ning Ning came from a richer family. She didn’t need to work and had lots of spare time on her hands. It was pretty evident in the way she used to nag you about hanging out more since ‘she never had anything to do.’ You also always believed that you were an understanding friend. No matter what it was, you would’ve understood.

Your issue was that she just shouldn’t have offered if it was going to turn out this way. Your expectations were just not met.

So here you were, standing outside Ning Ning's penthouse, sighing as you rang the doorbell and heard muffled, chaotic music bleeding through the walls. The sound was loud enough to make you grit your teeth as you waited.

When the door swung open, her smile faded almost instantly, like she was caught doing something she shouldn't. "Hey, Y/n~," she started, but her voice sounded shaky, barely cutting through the pounding bass behind her.

You peered over her shoulder and immediately spotted a few faces you recognized from her Instagram posts—Ning Ning’s rich friends. You didn’t even bother hiding your irritation as your eyes settled back on her.

“Weren’t we supposed to meet up today at the studio?” Her gaze darted to the floor before she glanced nervously behind her. “I just got caught up in something at the last minute,” she said, trying to sound casual, but the lie was obvious.

“Caught up in something?!” Your voice rose before you could stop it, making her wince. “This is the sixth time you’ve flaked on me this week, Yizhuo!” You didn’t miss the way she flinched at the use of her full name.

“I didn’t mean to,” she muttered, almost too quietly to hear over the music.

“Is it because of some guy?” you snapped, cutting her off when she opened her mouth to reply.

“Oh, please,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You know it’s not—”

“So it’s because of some girl.” Your eyebrows shot up as you interrupted her again. The brief flash of guilt on her face was all the confirmation you needed.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you hissed, and Ning Ning’s expression hardened as frustration crept into her features.

“Is that a crime?!” she fired back, her voice rising to match yours now.

“No, but you had the decency to say you’d help me write another song, yet here we are!” You gestured broadly toward the apartment, your voice cutting through the music like a knife. Ning Ning looked over her shoulder again, as though hoping her friends weren’t listening, but she still didn’t seem to grasp why you were upset.

“You guys aren’t my only friends,” she said defensively, her tone sharp now.

“News flash, Yizhuo!” you snapped, taking a step closer. “We aren’t just your friends. We’re supposed to be like sisters! Coworkers, even! Most of our income comes from our music. The sad reality is we’re not all fed with a silver spoon like you. Some of us actually need this to work. So maybe next time, don’t get my hopes up if you’re just going to let me down.”

Her face twisted, caught somewhere between anger and guilt. “Well, maybe you’re stuck because Yujin has your damn brain fucked into oblivion. Have you thought about that?”

Her words hit you like a slap, sharp and personal in a way you didn’t expect. Your stomach twisted at the accusation, but you refused to let her see it. “We help each other in times of need, Ning,” you said, your voice low but biting. “I’ve always been there for you. Always. And you couldn’t do this one simple thing for me.”

Ning Ning’s mouth opened like she wanted to argue, but you didn’t give her the chance. You stepped back, shaking your head. “Just fuck off, Ning.”

The look on her face stung, but not enough to make you stop. Without another word, you turned and walked away, letting the sound of the door closing behind you seal the argument.

Your chest felt heavy as you made your way down the hall, but you didn’t look back. You couldn’t. 

The two of you had fought several times before but made up instantly. This moment wasn’t like the rest, and it gave you a headache.

Deciding to want to clear your mind, you make your way over to the park near her building. As you got closer and closer, you felt your phone buzzing in your pocket as if there was some crazy news. But you knew all to well that it was just Ning Ning blowing up your messages. 

You make it to the park, sitting down on a nearby bench as you hear the cars pass by late at night. Pulling out your phone, you see the twenty notifications left by your best friend, but you don’t care to read them, not yet, at least. You let out a heavy sigh, stuffing the phone back into your pockets as you keep your eyes on the dark sky.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” your body jolts up from your seat in surprise at the nearing voice, and you look to your left to find Yujin. She looked more proper than usual in a long-sleeved button with a white collar, some straight jeans, and a pair of simple white sneakers. Her hair was held up with a claw clip, and she wore her glasses. “Oh, uhm, I mean likewise,” you answer.

She tilted her head, sighing as she clutched onto the long strap of her leather satchel. “My car broke down while coming home from work, so I had to walk… this seemed to be the safer option for me to cut through.”

“Seems like we both have bad luck today,” you inquire, and Yujin stands there, a bit struck by what to do. Then she remembers Wonyoung’s words, ‘Stop worrying about how to be close again and just let it take its course.’ 

“Wonyoung, you smart ass,” she mumbles and sits down beside you. “Long day?” You could only scoff at her words. “Not long day, it’s been a long hour.”

“Hour? Well, that doesn’t sound too good.” Your phone buzzes again loudly, interrupting the conversation a bit. You take out your phone, showing it to Yujin as you wave it with the grasp of your two fingers. “Ning and I were supposed to start writing a song this past week, but she bailed on me six times. All because of a girl. I mean, she could’ve just told me that was the case, but instead, she kept making empty promises and giving me bullshit excuses in the end. My mom needed me home for dinner today. My cousin needed a ride out of town. I have to help my grandma tonight. The excuses just wouldn’t end.”

You pause, catching yourself rambling, and find Yujin staring at you with a sympathetic look. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to rant.”

She shakes her head, a small smile tugging at her lips. “No need to say sorry. If it makes you feel better, work was absolute shit for me today. The kids in my class had so much more energy than usual. Some ripped papers, some scribbled all over worksheets I needed to grade by the end of today, two of them kicked me in the shin on purpose, I had a meeting with snobby higher-ups, and my car broke down.”

The image she painted made you chuckle faintly despite yourself. Her smile widened at the sound, and she added, “Teaching assistant life, right?”

“Wait, you’re a teacher now?”

“Correction, teaching assistant,” she clarified, pointing a finger up as the other hand adjusted her glasses. The gesture sent you into a fit of laughter that she quickly joined in on.

“I still love my job, though,” she continued once the laughter faded, her voice soft. “Those kids will always be the highlight of my week. Other than performing, of course.”

“That does sound nice. At least you don’t have to deal with rude customers on a daily basis,” you said, the headache from earlier easing as you spoke.

“Yeah, I can’t even imagine how that is for you,” she said with an exaggerated grimace. “Remember when Bomyuk sat in your chair and told you to buzz off in the third grade? You literally grabbed the chair and yanked it so hard he fell flat on his back. I’m still amazed your temper can handle customer service.”

You couldn’t stop laughing at the memory, shaking your head. “You know he deserved that. Besides, I’ve grown from that.”

“Uh-huh,” she teased, raising an eyebrow.

The light moment was interrupted when a familiar voice cut through the conversation. “I wanna know the joke.”

Both of you turned to see Lee Seoyeon standing nearby, her smirk as irritating as you remembered.

“My day just keeps getting better and better, huh?” you muttered sarcastically. Yujin’s expression immediately darkened at the sight of her.

“Couldn’t have just kept walking, Seoyeon?” Yujin asked, her voice laced with frustration.

“Can’t I greet my dear ex-girlfriend and her ex-best friend? Just a couple of exes chatting, no?” Seoyeon’s smirk grew, her tone dripping with mockery.

“Did you just come over to piss us off?” Yujin stood, her towering figure casting a shadow over the smaller girl.

“It isn’t worth it, Yujin,” you said softly, reaching for her arm to tug her back gently.

Seoyeon ignored you, her gaze fixed on Yujin. “You should listen to my dear Y/n. She always knows better than you, always has.”

Yujin’s jaw tightened, and you could see the fury rising in her. She stepped closer, but you quickly got between them, pushing her back.

“Oh? Did I hit a nerve? The two of you look so friendly now. Guess it’s not an issue anymore,” Seoyeon said smugly, taking a step forward.

“Just leave us alone,” you snapped, your tone sharper than before.

Seoyeon feigned hurt. “Y/n, I’m offended you don’t want me around. Done following me like a sick puppy? Tired of our amazing relationship? I mean, I could still show you a good time, you know?” She stepped closer, but before you could respond, Yujin’s fist collided with her face.

“You disrespectful piece of shit!” Yujin threw another punch before you could stop her, and Seoyeon stumbled back, blood dripping from her nose.

“Enough! Enough!” you yelled, pulling Yujin away as she struggled against your grip.

“We’re in public, Yujin. I don’t need you going to prison,” you said firmly, glancing at the small crowd that had started to gather.

Yujin exhaled sharply, her anger still palpable, but she let you guide her away.

“Rot in hell, Seoyeon,” you spat over your shoulder before pulling Yujin toward your apartment.

Within minutes, you were home. You led Yujin into the living room, gesturing toward the couch. “Take off your bag and get comfy. I’ll grab some water.”

She nodded silently, sinking into the plush cushions. The cozy, rustic vibe of your apartment seemed to ease some of the tension in her shoulders. She glanced around, her gaze lingering on the lavender-scented candle burning on the coffee table.

When you returned, you knelt in front of her, setting down a bowl of cold, soapy water and soaking a rag in it. Taking her hand gently, you began cleaning the blood from her knuckles.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

Yujin stiffened slightly, her jaw clenching. “You think I regret it?”

You looked up, meeting her intense gaze. “That’s not what I meant. I just… I don’t want you getting hurt because of someone like her.”

Her expression softened, and she let out a quiet sigh. “I can take care of myself, but… thanks. For looking out for me.”

You smiled faintly, brushing a thumb over her hand as you finished cleaning her wounds. “Someone has to.”

Yujin leaned back, her lips curving into a small smile. “You’re pretty good at it.”

“Well, don’t make it a habit,” you teased, standing up and placing the bowl aside.

She grabbed your wrist before you could move away, pulling you down onto the couch beside her. The warmth of her hand lingered as she spoke softly, “I’ll try not to, but only if you promise to keep being my favorite nurse.”

You rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed you. “Deal.”

The tension from earlier seemed to dissipate entirely as you sat there, your laughter filling the room once again.

Taglist: ⟪𝙾𝙿𝙴𝙽⟫

@lorenztired @1luvkarina @yuyuy90 @uchizana

[nolita-fairytale]

don't want to walk alone | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader | chapter four: the honeymoon pt. 1

summary: the infinite undressing and undoing of mrs. berzatto -- or how you and carmy spend your mini-moon at the langham hotel.

warnings: so much smut so this chapter is 18+ only!! also the smut is from carmys pov and im shaking!! husband!carmy who comes with a warning label of his own, swearing, lots of tooth rotting fluff, marriage, no use of y/n, second person pov, she/her pronouns

wc: 4.9k

listen to: the official don't want to walk alone playlist

a/n: surprise! i decided to split the honeymoon into two chapters because it was getting way too long and i refuse to cut any of it so there's that.

on another note: this series, this world, is so special to me because it is my first: first series on tumblr, first series for carmy, first time writing fanfic again as an adult that i actually followed through with. it was the universe that got me through unemployment. the fic that helped me fall in love with writing again, so i will always hold this world near and dear to my heart. but aside from occasional one shots here and there, it may be time to let them ride off into the sunset, into their happily ever after. let me know if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist.

part three | masterlist | part five

Before he can even get the door properly closed, you’re all over him, your mouth covering his own with kisses that feel like promises, as your hands multi-task, fumbling with the door to get in closed the rest of the way. 

“As much as I loved celebrating with our friends and family, I’ve been waiting for this moment all damn day,” you say, in between kisses, satisfied as soon as you hear the clicking sound of the door locking. 

“Hmmm and what’s that?” Carmy asks you, coyly. 

His lips curve into a cocky smile mid-kiss, and he hears you chuckle, knowing exactly what buttons to push to wind you up.

“Getting you alone, Mr. Berzatto,” you giggle underneath your breath, taking a few steps away from him. 

Carmy watches you in awe, his eyes traveling from your kiss-swollen lips, to the way your hands begin to trail down your body, to the careful steps that you take backwards. His breath hitches in his throat as he watches your fingers delicately undo the first button on this goddamn blazer dress he thinks he’ll never be able to get out of his mind – not after tonight, that’s for sure. He watches them dance over the second button from the top down, peeling it open, as a bright pop of red begins to peek out from underneath your dress. 

“Carm?” you ask him, your eyes flickering down to your hands as you undo the third button, then the fourth, before returning your heated gaze to him. 

“Yes, baby,” is all he can reply, as if he’s under your spell already. 

Carmy gulps, his pants feeling incredibly tight, the air noticeably thick as he watches your little strip tease. 

It’s just a few more buttons before your dress falls open, revealing the crimson red set you’re wearing underneath. 

Red Floral Lace. Mesh. See-through. 

“Come get me,” you beckon, as you let the dress fall to the floor. 

“Fuck,” he growls on an exhale, before charging towards you. 

It’s all hot, all-consuming kisses as he pushes you back onto the California king-sized bed, eagerly following as he lays his body on top of yours. Long gone is the sport coat he was wearing earlier, and he thanks whatever deities he may owe this to that he really only has to get three articles of clothing off. 

Carmy pulls away, because he’s gotta get one goddamn good look at his wife. 

His wife. 

His breath picks up, as he drags his fingertips over the straps of your red lace bra, down to the mesh cups, watching your face twist in pleasure as his fingers run over your already-perky nipples. 

“You like?” you ask him, a small amount of vulnerability in your voice as you do. 

“Do I-, baby, have you seen yourself?” he stammers, in disbelief that you could even ask, only to be met with a smirk because you know you look good. 

But that’s not what you’re asking. You want to know if Carmy likes it, because you have much more where this came from – lingerie, you mean. And instead of telling you, Carmy has bigger and better plans to show you instead. He begins to leave hot, open mouthed kisses along your neck, across your chest, nipping at the top of the bra cup with his teeth when he gets there. 

Carmy’s eyes move to yours, watching you for a reaction so he knows that he’s giving you exactly what you want. To his delight, you hiss in pleasure, arching your back as an invitation, offering your body to him in a silent effort, begging for more. 

“This why you put on this dress?” he rasps, in reference to the fact that you had insisted on doing an outfit change from the courthouse to the reception. His tongue snakes out, running over the mesh fabric that barely covers the nipple of your left breast. 

You moan, letting out a small giggle in between breaths, as you cook up a witty reply.

“‘S not like I could wear anything underneath my wedding dress. Had to come up with a plan B,” you counter him, just another part of your seduction. 

Carmy lets out a well earned-groan and it’s music to your ears as he continues to move down your body, worshiping you with his mouth, his tongue, muttering to himself that he’s not sure whether he would’ve preferred that – you in your wedding dress, nothing underneath – or this, all fire and lace. 

But he doesn’t have time to think, settling on the fact that as long as he gets to have you, he’s not sure he cares. 

“This is so fucking sexy, baby,” he groans, shaking his head in disbelief as he sits up on his knees, taking you in. He almost forgets to breathe for a moment, as it dawns on him that you’re his, and that you’re here, all spread out for him tonight, aching for him and only him. 

Before you can get in a word, he’s pushing your legs apart, settling down in between them to get exactly what he wants. You let out a gasp of surprise, considering he hasn’t taken off our panties, your eyes fluttering shut as he pulls them to one side instead. 

“Fuck,” he hears you whine, as he buries his face between your thighs. “Oh my god, Carmy.” 

His favorite thing.

Tasting you. Bringing you the kind of euphoric pleasure that makes you feel high.

 He loves the way you say his name, and how it changes, when his tongue traces tight circles around your clit; how it changes when he flattens his tongue up against your wet heat, painting broad strokes; how you cry out when he’s busy tracing abstract shapes across you till you’re completely lost in your own pleasure. Carmy moans against you, as he feels you thread your hands through his golden locks, and the sensation of your fingertips running along his scalp goes straight to his cock. 

“Carmy, don’t stop!” 

And how could he? How could he deny you the one thing you’re asking for? His mouth on you, bringing you higher and higher, winding up that coil buried so deep inside you that it has to explode, knowing that it’s him and only him that makes you feel this way. 

You’re pulling at his hair, grabbing at the bedsheets, bucking your hips up into his mouth, writhing underneath the weight of his hands that hold you in place. He can’t keep his hands off of you, desperate to feel the way your body responds to him at every touch – holding your hips down, pressing your legs wider, grabbing at your breasts as he dips his tongue inside of you. 

“Oh my God. Carmy, fuck. Don’tstoppleasedon’tstopdon’tyoudare-!” 

The feeling of your orgasm ripping through you completely rendering you speechless as you come. Carmy slows down the movements of his mouth, working you through your orgasm, wanting you to know that he’s here for you, that he’s got you as you come down. He uses his tongue to clean you up, watching you carefully as you try your best to catch your breath, committing this image to his memory. 

There are two places he feels like this – triumphant, untouchable, on top of the world – in the last push of a hard won dinner service, and when he’s right here, between your legs, in the falling action of your climax as he waits for you to come back to him. 

Carmy waits for you, watches as your eyes begin to flutter open, your breath still heavy, as you look down on him. 

“Shit. Who knew married sex would hit so differently,” you pant, let out an incredulous laugh from how hard you just came. 

Carmy grins up at you, and he loves the way it feels as you pull him towards you once more. Your hands are desperate, needy, impatient as they tear through the buttons on his shirt, practically dragging the top over his head and tossing it onto the floor with a vigor he knows only comes from how much you need him. 

“You good, baby?” he asks, cockily, because after years of this, he thinks he’s earned the right to know just how good he always makes you feel. 

“Just need you, Carm,” you rasp, propping yourself up so that you can chase his mouth with yours. “Need you so much. Need you inside of me.” 

“I know, sweet girl. I-,” he begins to say, before freezing, as if there’s an alarm going off in his head, his voice full this time as he swears, as if he’s just forgotten a really important date:

“Ffffffffffffffffuck.”

“Everything okay?” you ask, sitting up this time in response to his sobering pitch.

Carmy can feel the heat rise to his cheeks as he flushes red, completely embarrassed that he’s put the heat of the moment on pause for this, knowing fully that he won’t be able to stop thinking about it now. 

“Yeah just I just gotta-... give me like… five seconds. I promise,” he nods, though his eyes silently plead with you. 

You shake your head as Carmy leaves you, his footsteps rapid and hurried as he practically sprints over to where you left the suitcases in the hallway. He swears underneath his breath, rummaging through his bag before finding a certain plastic tupperware, a feeling of relief washing over him. He can hear you laugh as he runs through the room, tucking it safely in the mini fridge, and he can only imagine that it’s quite the sight to see.

By the time he returns to the bed, cheeks flushed, and an apologetic look in his eyes, you’re sitting up on your knees, waiting for him with an amused look on your face. 

“Do I want to know?” you ask, skeptically.

“You’ll thank me later,” he chuckles, still embarrassed. Shyly, as he steps towards the edge of the bed, he works up the nerve to ask, “Will you uh.. Think we can pick up where we left off?”

Still stunning as you were moments ago but now with that post-orgasm glow, you wrap your arms around Carmy’s neck, pulling him in closer so that he’s standing across from where you kneel. 

“You can come back to bed. But lose the pants, jerk,” you reply, feigning disapproval. 

He nods, eagerly taking off his pants as he joins you back on the bed in only his briefs. 

Carmy’s intent on making it up to you, his mouth back on yours as soon as possible, lowering you to the bed as his hands grope at any exposed flesh he can. He’s dragging the straps of the red bra down, but refuses to take it off completely. Keep it on, he insists, because he can’t get the image of you riding him in it out of his mind. It’s not till he’s tearing your panties down your legs, tossing them somewhere on the floor that you know he really means business this time. 

“No more interruptions,” he promises you, as he settles in between your legs, his briefs long gone and his hard, aching cock desperate to feel you. 

As Carmy presses into you, reeling over the fact that every time feels like the first – it’s that glorious, that wondrous – you know, without all the trauma of your actual first time. You’re all tight, wet, heat pulsing around him and for once, he doesn’t have to think for a moment. 

Carmy’s always been a thinker – an overthinker, really, calculating each and every move with strategy – rarely ever a doer because that’s just not who he got to be. But with you, inside of you, it’s all instinct, and breath, and I love yous, both in pursuit of your shared pleasure. In these moments, he gets to be a doer, responding to your every moan, taking the lead when he knows what will set you off, showing you just how much you turn him on with every kiss, every touch, every thrust. 

It doesn’t take long for you to push him onto his back, reminding him that he has some making up to do for the earlier coitus interuptus and that he should let you fuck him instead.

But as you climb on top of him, turning around so that your back is to him, he swallows, admiring the view you’re so intent on giving him. He can picture it clearly, exactly – your head thrown back, biting down on your bottom lip, brow furrowed as you sink down onto him – even though he can’t see your face. 

Instead, he listens to the way you whimper his name as you begin to move your hips, traces the curves of your body as you settle into a satisfying rhythm, digs the pads of his fingers into your hips and your ass because he just can’t not touch. 

It’s music to his ears as you let out a keen-like moan when he begins to meet your hips with thrusts of his own, speeding up the perfect rhythm you’ve set. He can feel you squeezing around him, chasing your own high as you fuck yourself on him, and he can feel that familiar tightening at the bottom of his belly. 

“Fuck,” he grits out, his jaw tightening as he can feel it coming. 

All it would take was a few more thrusts, a vigorous pace, take hold of your hips and showing you just how he wants it. But instead, Carmy sits half way up, reaching out for you as he stills your hips against his. His movement causes you to shift as you realize he’s sitting all the way up, wrapping an arm around your waist, the new angle causing you to squeeze around him.

“Baby,” you whine, beginning to grind your hips in circles where you’re connected.

“I wanna see you. I wanna see you cum again,” he requests, his voice tender yet intent, as if he plans on embedding the words into your skin. And as he leaves little kisses against your shoulder blade, his words go straight to your heart. 

“Okay,” you agree with a soft whisper. 

Carmy sits back just enough to let you switch positions, before propping himself up on both hands that rest behind him. With the softest smile he thinks he’s ever seen, you climb back onto his lap. Grabbing the back of your head, he pulls you to him, kissing you like he wants to give you the world and then some. Your hands smooth over his strong shoulders and inked arms, then you’re reaching down between the two of you, guiding him back into you as you take him once more. 

He swears his eyes roll to the back of his head as he feels you again, beginning to move your hips in perfect harmony together. This new position is passionate, intense, intimate. Your hands are cradling the back of his head, kissing him like he is oxygen, as he surrenders to you, to the moment, to the dance between you.

“I like this,” Carmy finally says, as he notices the way the straps of your bra hang loosely off your shoulders. 

“Me on top of you?” you smile, devilishly. 

“This,” he repeats, his eyes hungrily taking in the image of you on top of him in this sexy lace little thing, as he toys with the red elastic. “But that too.”

You grin before pressing your lips against his once more, because he truly has no idea what else you have in store for him. 

“Feel so good, sweet girl,” Carmy grunts out, his thrusts becoming deeper, harder, sloppier as the feeling returns. “You feel so good.” 

You throw your head back in a moan, and he knows you’re letting him set the pace. He’s so goddamn close to cumming, as the two of you chase both of your highs this time. 

“I love you, Carmy,” he hears you whine, your head leaning against his shoulder. “So much. I love you, baby.”

He can feel it – feel you – and he knows you’re close. 

“I love you,” he manages to get out, in between a clenched jaw. 

His hips stutter, and you’re tightening around him, losing all control, surrendering to your release as you cry out. Watching you come undone around him, feeling you contract and release around him, calling out his name till your voice is hoarse is what brings him there with you. Carmy continues to fuck up into you, filling you, as his hands begin to slow down the pace of your hips.

You’re magic to him – somehow just as and more electrifying as the day he met you, the day you told him you loved him, and today, the day you both said, “I do.” 

“I think you’re right,” is what he says, in between pants, finally breaking the tension. “Married sex is a whole ‘nother level.”

“Cheers, Mrs. Berzatto,” Carmy toasts to you. 

“And a cheers to you too, Mr. Berzatto,” you reply, clinking your champagne flute with his before drinking. 

After coming back to reality – recovering from your joint discovery of just how damn good married sex is – you and Carmy spent a few more precious moments in each others’ arms, sharing languid kisses and whispered words. And after cleaning up, you both came to an agreement that if this weekend is anything like how it started, you will absolutely be in need of fuel – Carmy encouraging you to order a few things for room service off the hotel’s late night menu. 

So here you are, drinking clinking glasses of fancy champagne over overpriced burgers and truffle fries, as you begin a new journey with your husband, thinking to yourself that there’s no other way you’d want this to be. Wrapped up in his Ralph Lauren Oxford shirt that you’d gleefully pulled out of his suitcase after your quick rinse off in the shower, Carmy’s got one of those looks of deep admiration in his eyes while he listens to you you wax philosophical about something or other. 

It’s not that he’s not listening – it’s just that he cannot get over the fact that you made it here – something his twenty-five year old self probably never would’ve believed. 

“Any chance you’re still hungry?” Carmy asks, a hopeful look in his eyes as he watches you polish off the last bite of your burger. 

“Actually, yeah. Someone wore me out,” you answer cheekily, with a flirtatious shrug. 

He smiles, “Good. Stay right here.”

As you watch Carmy jump off of the bed, beelining for the minifridge to retrieve whatever he put in it earlier, you note that it’s the second time that he’s left you tonight whatever the hell it is he’s keeping in that goddamn plastic tupperware. With an arched eyebrow, you ask:

“Watcha got over there?” 

Carmy climbs back onto the bed, kneeling as he offers the square-shaped box to you, careful not to knock anything over on your shared room service tray. He begins to peel back the plastic lid, pulling it away from the storage container, earning a well-won sound of surprise from you as you realize exactly what it is. 

“Tiramisu?” you gasp, completely moved by your husband’s gesture. “Carm, when the hell did you have time to make this?”

He gives you nothing but a boyish shrug, before gathering your two unused spoons that came with the silverware sets that room service brought up with your late night dinner. 

“Had a little extra time at the restaurant this week,” is all he says, which you know is a lie. 

You send a skeptical look his way, because rarely does he ever have extra time at the restaurant where he’s just hanging around. Sure, a tiramisu isn’t wildly difficult to make, but it’s been off of The Bear’s menu for years now.

And you should know. You’re the one who put it on there in the first place. 

“Thought you didn’t bake,” you challenge him, as you pick up one of the spoons off of the room service tray.  

“Yeah ‘s about the only thing I can do… considering it requires little to no baking at all,” he shoots back, picking up his spoon as well. 

With no hesitation of being first, you dig your spoon into the soft cocoa powder covered cream and espresso soaked lady finger dessert, before raising your spoon to your lips for a first bite. 

“Ohhhh, baby…” you practically moan, your eyes closed as you throw your head back in pure bliss. 

Carmy snorts with laughter, but he’s satisfied with your reaction, knowing that he did a damn good job with it. 

“Would you two like to be alone?” Carmy teases you, pointing his spoon to the tiramisu then back to you. “Thought this was our honeymoon.” 

You lift your head, rolling your eyes playfully, before going back for seconds, “Don’t be jealous. You’re still the only one making me moan like that.”

And suddenly, the room feels about five degrees hotter, as Carmy feels heat rise to his cheeks. But he’s not quite ready to go there again, just yet, so instead he just explains:

“I know we both promised we wouldn’t do any of the food today, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to show you how much I love you in the only way I know how.” 

“It’s not the only way,” you tease him with a smirk, as he shakes his head incredulously. 

You can tell you’ve made him blush, which is only a little bit funny considering the dirty things that came out of his mouth barely an hour ago. But the silver lining is this, and it’s not lost on you: after all this time and all of these years, it’s good to know that on your wedding day, you still know how to flirt with your husband. 

Carmy’s eyes are fixed to the tiramisu as he focuses on digging his own spoon into the tiramisu, inhaling the spoonful right away. 

Damn. It is good, he thinks to himself, though he’s usually quite hesitant to give himself a compliment. 

“So what were you and Sugar talking about?” Carmy asks, curiously changing the subject. 

“Oof. You really wanna kill the mood with that answer?” you counter him, and he can hear the reality of the situation in the way your voice drops. 

“That bad?” he pries, hesitantly. 

“No,” you’re quick to reassure him. While you’re not sure you want to ruin a perfect night by talking about Donna, you also feel like there’s no escaping it either. “Sugar and I’s talk was great but… she was upset… about your mom not coming.”

With a quick raise of his eyebrows, Carmy nods along, only slightly disappointed by the answer. 

Leave it to Mom to ruin a perfectly good day without even showing up, he thinks to himself. 

“Are… you… okay about it?” you drag out, cautiously. 

“Yeah,” he answers with a curt nod. You’re not convinced, eyeing him carefully as Carmy chooses to charge through. 

“Didn’t really expect her to come anyways. Would’ve been more drama than it was worth.” 

“Bear,” you sigh in response to the impossible situation, because there’s no way that he’s not at least a little disappointed. 

He shrugs, his eyes evasive of yours as he scoffs dismissively, shaking his head. 

“Welcome to the fuckin’ family, I guess.”

You really don’t want to get into it now – not on your wedding night – so you shut your mouth even though you’re not exactly satisfied with his response. You know Carmy has every right to not want his mom there knowing that everything he’s said is true, but it still hurts your heart that he’s closed off his heart to her like this – that it has to be this way. 

You let out a heavy exhale, before digging back into the tiramisu, pushing the thought out of your mind. And just when you think you’re done talking about it, Carmy presses you once more, his voice softer this time as he asks:

“What’d you uh… say? To Sugar?” 

You take another breath, a sympathetic smile on your lips as you explain: 

“I told her that I was sorry… that things are the way that they are, but I really just think she just needed someone to listen to her.” 

“Yeah.”

A half beat. 

“And I told her that… well, I told her that… we get to change things. You and I. Her and Pete. With the baby coming and everything too and… and us. Getting married, you know?”

Carmy hums in response, nodding his head as he processes what you said. Returning his gaze to you, it feels like he’s looking right through you, his blues so intense as he softly speaks again.

“I like the sound of that.”

“Me too.”

You wait a beat, then another, noticing that your champagne glass is almost empty. You reach for the bottle, topping off Carmy’s flute first. You search your mind for something else to talk about, because you think he may actually be done talking about Donna this time, a small laugh escaping your lips as you think about today. 

“Hmmm?”

Your eyes move to Carmy’s, then back to the almost-empty champagne flute that you’re refilling as you smirk with, “Bold move putting me on the spot like that with the vows.” 

He laughs, a blush running across his cheeks as he shyly replies:

“You know, we got there, and I uh… well, I wanted to. Should I uh-, you know… think we shoulda talked about it before?” 

“No, I actually kind of liked it,” you reassure him, raising the champagne flute to your lips once more. You take a sip, before continuing to flirt with your husband. “You’re gettin’ the hang of this whole… romantic gesture thing, Berzatto.”

“Anything for you, Berzatto,” he shoots back, emphasizing your new last name in a way that makes your heart flutter at the reminder.

You hum a satisfied hum in response, relaxing a little more into where you sit on the bed. 

“Though if I had known ahead of time, I guess I could’ve prepared something. ‘S too bad,” you say playfully, causing Carmy to smile.

“We could do it now,” he offers, his voice going up at the end like it’s a question, and there’s something so boyish in his charm that it makes your heart melt. 

“Hmmmm,” you begin, pondering where you’d like to start. He had promised to love you forever, and you him, but as you think about all the ways you want to love him, a smile spreads across your lips. 

“Okay,” you accept, ready to play along. “I promise… that on the days you want breakfast burritos… that I will go to the place you like a few blocks down from ours.”

“Even though you think the place across from our place is better and closer?” he asks, unable to hide his shock as his eyebrows raise then lower. 

You giggle, “Even though I think the place near ours is way better and is so much more convenient to get to, Bear.” 

“Wow uh. Okay then,” Carmy says, taking this as an invitation. “Then I promise to always make sure to check that they put extra green salsa in the bag for you, no matter where we get the breakfast burritos.”

You grin, nodding your head alongside a, “You’re too good to me.”

This time, you take a moment to think it over, taking it more seriously now. 

“I think… we should promise… to always have each others’ backs; to always be each others’ teammate.”

Carmy nods his head in agreement, “Yeah I uh… I think that’s great, babe.” 

Two of you settle into a comfortable quiet, eating tiramisu and drinking champagne, while Carmy continues to steal glances your way when he thinks you aren’t looking. 

He takes a beat. Then another, before propping his head up on his hand where he lays on his side across from you.

“What about this?” he proposes. “We promise to love each other, even when we disagree.”

“Even when you’re being a dick,” you tease him with a raised eyebrow.

“Yeah. Even when I’m being a dick and you’re fuckin’ fed up with me,” he agrees with a head nod. “What else?”

“That we grow old together,” you say, without question, before painting him a picture of what you dream it could look like. 

“And we promise to take care of each other when we’re cranky and smelly, and you’re telling the grandkids about your glory days as a hotshot chef….” You take a beat, giggling at the thought. “... while I roll my eyes because you’re yelling at someone to bring you your old chef’s knife so that you can show them that you still know how to perfectly Brunoise a carrot.”

“Oh, you’re gonna have to pry my chef’s knife out of my cold dead hands,” he warns you, humorously.  

You laugh, “Honey, I knew that when I signed the marriage license.”

“I think we’ll be those grandparents, don’t you? The ones that pass on all of our recipes to the kids and the grandkids, and even when we’re not there anymore, we live on in everyone’s kitchen,” you conclude, and you can’t take your eyes off of him. “You know? You and me.” 

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

You exchange a silly laugh, because neither of you know where to go after this, your and his hearts warmed by the thought of growing old together. You’ve been together for years now, but in so many ways, it still feels like you have so much life ahead of you; a life with Carmy that you’re only just getting started. 

Carmy waits a beat, allowing your shared laugh to subside. 

“I like the sound of this. Of us,” he declares, his voice soft yet sure. 

“Me too, Carm. Me too,” you agree.

[asoiafsworld]

BELONG TO YOU - one

pairing; ellie williams x fem!reader

summary; you're new on campus and ellie notices you. despite your shyness and struggles of being anti social, you can't help but fall in love with her.

warnings and tags; modern!au, college!au, dealer!ellie, reader is shy, anxiety, depression, fluff, angst, eventual smut, touch starvation, ellie has a dick in this, reader is also pretty innocent, might make a kink out of it, drug abuse, obsessiveness, love at first sight kinda thing

author's note; i folded. im finally writing for my lovely ellie and feel like this is the worst thing i have ever written lmao. i was going to write all of this in like a very long one chapter thing but i literally can't so here's what u get. not even sure if i wanna continue this but if u guys like it i might. thanks for reading, pls tell me what u think of it <3

two

You feel lost.

You’re new to this place, new to this city, new to these people. You never expected to get away from your past, awful life and you’re still not sure if you have. Because you look around and observe the people at campus, see everyone with their friend groups or romantic partners and feel so utterly alone. You always have been, always too shy to talk to someone and too awkward to hold a conversation… or a friendship. Not that anyone ever thought you were worth being friends with.

It’s always been suffocating, this loneliness, this darkness that overtakes your mind when it’s quiet and you’re alone. You get that feeling when you sit under a tree in the park on campus and watch and observe the people around you. It’s not like you’re being ignored, you would have to be acknowledged first to be ignored. But people walking past you and not giving a single fuck about your existence is somewhat hurtful. One guy even stepped on your book earlier and didn’t even apologize to you. It was closed, thankfully, but it made you keep your things closer to you, making your little bubble smaller than it already is. You take a deep breath and look away from the crowded park and back down on your notes, distracting yourself from your self deprecating thoughts.

The moment that you look down, she looks up. Ellie’s gaze only wanders over you for a split second and she was going to let her gaze go over the park and the many people that she knows and sells to. But her brain works a second later than her eyes do so she looks back to the lone figure sitting under the tree, hair spilling down as your eyes sharply go over the notebook in your hands. Ellie is mesmerized for some reason, unable to look away from you and your pretty face and your legs enveloped in bright blue jeans and your fingers tracing the words on your book and your breasts pushing up as you breath-

“Earth to Ellie? Hello? You having a stroke or something?” Her eyes break away forcefully from you to look at her friend, Dina, who is looking at her with a questioning but amused glint in her eyes. Her mouth is working faster than her brain so the question doesn’t fully register until she says it.

“Do you know who that is? The girl under the tree? Never seen her before.” Dina’s eyebrows raise at the question and she turns around to look at where Ellie’s eyes have strayed to once more. She watches you take out your pen from your bag and scribble something down on your notebook, your lips puckering as you’re writing. It’s as if you don’t realize how pretty your lips look like this, how Ellie has to restrain her mind from thinking of something totally inappropriate. She doesn’t even know you, not even your name but the way you sit there all alone and almost helplessly lonely makes something in her stir. You shouldn’t be alone when she knows how many disgusting boys are at this college, even if it’s at a park with so many people out on a sunny day.

“Yeah, she’s new, moved into the empty room at the end of our hall. Pretty sure she’s next to your room.” Dina has turned her head back around and can’t hide the little smirk that forms on her face when she sees Ellie staring. She takes another second to let her eyes linger on you, on how gorgeous you look when the sun shines down on you before she stands up. She walks towards you with confidence and determination, not even entirely sure why. You just look so pretty to her, the way you sit there and study whilst everyone else is doing anything but studying. Something in her gut and in her chest stirs when she sees you sitting alone and looking seemingly sad. She doesn't think that anyone else notices but she sees that you look a little helpless, like a lost puppy not knowing where to go.

For some reason, she wants you to go to her.

You don’t realize that someone stands in front of you until a shadow is cast over you and your book, making it difficult to see your notes. When you look up, you see a tall girl in a crew neck shirt and an unbuttoned denim work shirt over it. She’s wearing faded blue jeans and blue converse, her brown, shoulder length hair partially tied to keep it out of her face. Her eyes are pale green and piercing as she looks down on you, the gaze in her eyes so intense but looking at you with all the ease in the world. Your heart races at this, so unused to someone looking at you or approaching you. You grip your book tightly to keep yourself from getting up and running away and hope she says something before you have to.

“Hi. Mind if I sit next to you?” Her voice sounds clear as she speaks, no hesitation or doubt in the way she speaks and even stands in front of you. You’re taken aback by her question and desperately suppress the urge to ask why she wants to be next to you. You don’t know her, only remember that she lives in the room next to yours and that there’s always people coming and going out of her room. You’ve seen her recieve money at her door sometimes in exchange for… god knows what she is giving other people, you wouldn’t know. You nod slowly and try not to look overly confused at her as she sits down right next to you, the body heat she radiates so close to you that it almost throws you off. You don’t know the last time someone sat this close to you and don’t want to think further about the feeling you often feel when you watch other people hug or kiss each other or hold hands. Touch starving, that’s what the internet called it when you googled it. You know that it’s true because you do not remember the last time you hugged someone or felt physical touch in any form. You feel so embarrassed when you accidentally brush against someone in the hallways because most of the time, your body craves more of that touch.

You are unsure of what to do now with someone sitting next to you, your breath held in carefully as if the world would shatter if you breathed out. Why is she sitting next to you? Did you do something wrong? You stare down at the book in your lap but can’t really think when there’s someone, a very pretty girl actually, sitting right next to you. There’s a slight breeze that hits you from the side and it carries the girl's scent with it, earthy and lemony from something that you can’t place. You like the smell, it suits her. You turn your head slightly and see that she’s been looking at you this entire time, the gaze in her eyes studying you and a small smile formed on her lips. God, she’s so gorgeous, it truly takes your breath away. She proceeds to hold a hand out to you and you look down to it before looking back up.

“I’m Ellie.” She says and and you smile slightly at how sweet she seems, introducing herself to a complete stranger. You briefly wonder how lonely you must have looked for Ellie to approach you and try not to think about it for too long. You tell her your name, your voice a little too shaky and too unsure, as if you just came up with your own name. You put your hand into hers and dig your finger into your palm on your other hand because this much body contact is not something you are used to. Your hand is smaller than hers and it looks tiny in her bigger, warmer hand. You almost don’t want to let go because her warmth and touch make something stir in your gut, something comforting and wholesome that you don’t know if you’ve ever felt before. It takes a lot of willpower for you to break your hand away from hers, willing to let it stay in hers for as long as she would let you but you shouldn’t scare her off right away.

“So, you’re pretty new here. What’s your major?” Ellie is captivated by the girl in front of her. You are even prettier up close and Ellie has a hard time not looking at your lips constantly or your tiny hand that fits into hers twice over. You look confused and helpless, even if you try to hide it and it makes Ellie’s heart hurt a little. Why do you seem so scared of even talking to anyone? And why is Ellie so interested in you? She doesn’t know why she even came over here but the moment she saw you, every nerve in her brain only had one goal: to talk to you. You look at her with an unreadable look in our eyes and nervously brush your hair behind your ear.

“Uhm, M-marine Biology.” You feel heat rise to your cheeks at your stutter and hope she doesn’t notice it. She seems perceptive enough that she probably does but also tactful enough to not comment on it. Her eyebrows raise a little at your answer and you hope she doesn’t think it’s lame. You don’t know why you don’t want her to think you’re lame.

“Marine biology… That’s pretty cool.” Your heart does a little flip at the way she draws her words out and you can hear a slight accent in her voice. It sounds southern but it’s not that noticeable. “So, you like fish?”

The question is so silly that it takes you aback and you do something that you never do in front of other people; you giggle. You hope it doesn’t sound stupid to her because it certainly does to you and you quickly bite your lip to stop yourself. You look at her again and now have a small smile on your lips that seems to make her smile in return. She’s so incredibly attractive, the way she sits with her knees drawn up and her hair tied back and her eyes looking at you in a certain way that you can’t describe.

“Yeah, I guess I do. What’s your major?” You mentally give yourself a pat on the back for your progress on socializing but talking to someone like this is still unknown territory for you. You’re still incredibly nervous next to her and hope you don’t say something stupid.

“Fine arts. Was always interested in it, I draw a lot and I guess I’m pretty good at it… or something.” The way Ellie bashfully scratches the back of her head and blushes at the last part makes your chest feel warm, for whatever reason. She seems like an artistic kind of person, the tattoos on her arms catching your attention and wondering if she drew them herself. She must be talented, you think to yourself. How couldn’t she be with hands like hers.

You are distracted by the sound of her name being called and look towards a girl with dark hair and sharp, memorable features. She’s pretty, very pretty and looks at Ellie impatiently. You wonder if that’s her girlfriend, certain of Ellie being gay with the way she carries herself and… sits. And wears converse. Your heart hurts at that thought and you feel incredibly stupid for it. Ellie sighs next to you and gets up, looking back down at you with an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, I promised my friend Dina to drive her downtown. But… Maybe you would like to see my drawings? Or just, hang out. We’re neighbors after all.” You can’t pretend that hearing her call the girl her friend doesn’t make you relieved and the small smile is on your face again as you feel better at the revelation. You don’t know if you should let news like this affect you the way they do but how could you not cling onto every detail when someone talks to you like a friend… for maybe the first time since you were a child. You nod as you stare and memorize her face, her pretty freckles captivating you.

“Yeah, I would like that.” Your voice is soft as you speak and you play with your fingers to distract yourself, swallowing as you see the way she stares down at you. Her hand reaches towards you and gently, so softly, she brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. Her finger brushes over your cheek so delicately that your stomach twists at the touch and you genuinely don’t know how to keep yourself sane. Your lashes flutter softly at her touch but your eyes remain locked on hers, desperate to hear her say something else or let her touch your however she wants to.

“I’ll see you then.” Ellie pulls her finger away gently and turns around, walking towards her friend. You watch as Ellie moves further and further away from your point of view until she is not even visible but you have barely come back to your senses by then. You exhale the breath you held in and softly close your eyes, touching the cheek that she had touched so softly. The moment keeps replaying in your mind, her intense gaze not faltering for once as she looks down at you like she can do whatever she wants, like… like she owns you.

You’re embarrassed by how much you like that thought. All your life, you have been alone, your family estranged and abusive, no friends to keep you sane, your mentality and shyness not allowing you to make friends. And here comes this girl, this gorgeous, pretty, intimidating girl that just sits next to you and touches you like she’s never done anything different. She seems like the kind of person that makes you feel safe, that protects you and takes care of you. The kind of person that you belong to.

She’s a stranger. You barely know her and yet, you can’t help your thoughts. You want to belong to her.

[seeingivy]

the scouts

roommate eren x f!reader 

eren’s hometown friends have a lot to say. vis a vis you. 

**find the series masterlist here

content warning: galliard slander, irritable bowel syndrome, mikasa don’t gaf, connie and sasha are thieves, lying??, carla yeager being a sunshine, eren being a cheeky little shit, laxatives 

an: alright. feast my children. pls keep ur little memes and drawings and funny comments coming bc I love them (and they incentivize me to write chapters faster so I can seem more of them LOL) - also @togemayo and @rebeccawinters your connie and reiner cameos have ARRIVED, love you da mostest 

previous part linked here

- 

“There’s no way in fucking hell you called me about this. I am a grown man, with a child. I’m above stupid shit like this.” 

“Fuck you, Galliard. Pieck would help me with this, you know that.” 

“Then call her. I’m going to block you.” 

“You don’t think I tried that? I would never willingly talk to you, like ever. Please, Galliard, just tell me what to do.” 

“Twerp, you’re giving him a necklace, not proposing marriage. You’re not going to look desperate if you walk to a fucking soccer field and just to give it to him.” 

“Okay. Are you sure?” 

“I’m hanging up now.” 

“Like really. You’re not just saying that, are you?” 

“Don’t call me unless you’re dying. And even then, you better have tried every other person you know before you ever dial this number again.” 

Static. Fucking asshole hung up on you. 

Eren has a soccer game today. He’d let you know early on in the week that he wouldn’t be here to make breakfast for you on Friday because his family and a few of his hometown friends were coming to watch the game. Apparently, this game was a really big deal - some type of rivalry type thing with another university. 

You weren’t going. Obviously. You had stopped going the second Hitch took your jersey, because it was too embarrassing to think about going now. I mean what are you even supposed to wear now? And what’s the point of going if Eren’s with her and she’s going to be there? 

Yet here you are, waiting in the line outside of the stadium. Everyone around you is decked out - forest green shirts, face paint, streamers - and you can already tell that this game is way more intense than the ones you had been to. In the past, it would be you and maybe five other people in the stands, spread out doing homework. But this game looks like it’s going to be packed. 

All the more reason to do this. 

to jean-boy

you: hey. are you at the game today? 

jean-boy: yeah. on the field with min. they’re all warming up. 

you: i didn’t realize this game would be such a big deal lol. 

jean-boy: yeah. I think everyone’s kind of anxious. eren hasn’t made a single goal all morning and he’s getting more pissed each time he tries 

you: doesn’t help that he left his necklace at home 

jean-boy: the key necklace? did you bring it? 

you: yeah. that’s why im here. i remember he said something about like he always loses games or gets hurt or something when he doesn’t wear it. thought i’d bring it so i don’t have to help him to the toilet when he breaks his legs or smth. 

jean-boy: meet me in the back. ill let you in so you can give it to him. 

You awkwardly wait in the back of the stadium, teetering on your heels as you wait for Jean. You’re just giving him his necklace. It doesn’t mean anything. He won’t know that you like him because you’re just giving him his good luck charm. You’re being a good friend. Anyone in your position would do this. 

“Hey.” 

“Hi Jean.” 

“What are you wearing?” 

You look down, only now paying attention to the outfit that you were wearing. You didn’t think it was that bad - black jeans and a blue cardigan. 

“Why? What’s wrong with it?” 

“You wore the rival's colors.” 

“Okay? Arrest me, Jean.” 

“No, it’s like a thing. You can’t wear the rival's colors. Armin and Eren are going to make you change the second you get on the field.” 

“You guys are so superstitious. It’s just a shirt.” 

He shakes his head as you both walk through the door, pacing across the turf as he sets out to look for Eren. All the players are running on the field, kicking balls in between each other, hitting them into the nets. You spot Eren at the end, his head in his hands as he talks to Armin on the side. 

“Hey. Found him. You can go back, I’ll just give it to him and leave.” 

He nods, leaving your side as you make your way over there. You walk up just in time to catch the end of Armin and Eren’s conversation, your ears burning. You shouldn’t have come. 

“How do you know you love Annie? Because, sometimes I think I love her, Armin.” 

You can pretend like that one didn’t sting. You clear your throat, the two of them turning their backs to look at you. You watch Eren’s eyes nearly boggle out of their sockets as Armin drops the water bottle he was holding, at the sight of you standing there. Armin awkwardly walks away as Eren walks up, his eyes still flashing in shock. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“What happened to hello? How are you? My name is?” 

“How much did you hear?” 

“None of it. Did I miss something important?” 

You see his shoulders relax, pushing out a sigh of relief. First he calls you his best friend and then he can’t even tell you he thinks he might love Hitch?

“Yeah, you almost heard about my murder plot. It all started that fateful day, when I let you move into my apartment.” 

“That was months ago. Surely the opportunity must have presented itself. Knife to the back in the shower…smack me across the head with a frying pan…” 

“I’m playing the long game. You’ll never see it coming.” 

You both laugh, with you rolling your eyes as the silence settles around you too. You can see the stands filling up at your sides, the anticipation building in the stadium. 

“Um so-” 

“What are you wearing, Y/N?”

“We’re not doing this, Eren.” 

“You have to change. Like now.” 

“I’m not walking around in my tank top, Eren. It’s cold. And I’ll leave anyway, I just came to give you this.” 

You hold the key necklace up, dangling it between the two of your faces. You watch his eyes light up as he takes the necklace from your hands. He then cups your face in his hand and presses a kiss to your fucking forehead, before putting his arms around you and spinning you in the air.

“Oh my fucking god, thank you. You brilliant, brilliant girl. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ve been missing goals all morning.” 

Your brain is malfunctioning. You’ve literally picked up Eren from parties in the dead of the night and he’s barely even said thank you when you did that. This is all it takes? A fucking necklace and he gives you a forehead kiss? 

He sets you down, still flashing you a bigger than big smile as he latches the necklace on. 

“You’re not missing goals because you weren’t wearing the necklace.” 

“Yes. I was. We’re not having this argument right now, especially when you’re wearing that. I have something you can wear.” 

You hear Armin walk up, holding two jerseys in his hand. 

“Way ahead of you. She can wear mine or yours. Everyone else put their spares in their lockers already.” 

“Mine. Thanks Armin.” 

“Don’t tell me you believe in this too, Armin?” 

“Just put it on. If you don’t, Eren will blame you if the game goes wrong.” 

Armin walks away, leaving the two of you standing again. Eren’s holding the jersey out in front of you, waiting for you to put it on. 

“Full disclosure. I will blame it on you, if we lose kitty.” 

“It’s just a color.” 

“No. No, it’s the principle. Think about it. My girl can’t be wearing the rival colors on our sides of the stands. That’s just a bad omen..like we’re asking to lose the game or something.” 

My girl. 

“I’m leaving, Eren. I just came to give you the necklace.” 

He puts his hands on your waist, spinning you around to turn you towards the stadium, where everyone was sitting. He leaves one hand on there, his other sliding down to your wrist. 

“What are you doing?” 

He lifts your hand up, shaking it in front of the stadium. 

“This isn’t the time for a puppet show, Eren.” 

“Look at the second row, towards the middle.” 

You squint your eyes, scanning the entire row. And then you fucking see it. Eren’s parents and his brother. He’s making you wave at them. And they’re doing it back, nearly jumping to return the gesture.

“Eren.” 

He spins you back around and he fucking smirks at you. 

“You waved at them. Now, they’re going to expect you to go sit with them. For the entire game, mind you. Meaning you’re staying, so you should put it on.” 

Asshole. 

“Unless you want to leave my mom hanging?” 

“Give me the jersey, Eren.” 

He flashes you a winning smile, clearly delighted with his victory. You unbutton the ends of the cardigan, slipping it off and switching it with Eren’s jersey. He reaches forward, pulling out the ends of your hair that were tucked into the jersey as you smooth it against your clothes. 

“So.” 

“So.” 

“Win your game or whatever. Without the help of your stupid necklace.” 

“Planning on it, peaches. Necklace and all.” 

He pokes the side of your cheek and flashes you one last smile as he runs back onto the field, right in front of the goal. You watch as he centers the ball in front of him, kicking it into the net on the first try. He turns to the side, pointing at you after making the goal, as he mouths four words.

I told you so. 

- 

You tap Zeke on the shoulder, the three of them turning their heads towards you. 

“Hi. Mind if I sit with you guys?” 

The three of them jump up - Grisha shaking your hand very excitedly, Zeke crushing you in a hug, and Carla cupping your face in her hands, pressing a kiss on both of your cheeks. 

So this is where Eren gets it from. 

“We’re so excited you came, sweet girl. We were hoping you would find your way over here when we saw you on the field.” 

You nod, Carla squeezing your hands in hers (another thing Eren gets from her, you’re sure of it). You settle in the seat next to Zeke, brushing your sweaty palms against the ends of your pants. You can see the game is starting as they all take their places on the field, Eren giving the four of you one last wave. You look at the group of people seated directly to your right, the four of them waving back at him too. 

And then you remember. Eren’s hometown friends came down to watch his game. 

You take in the sight of the four of them. You can recognize the girl at the end, farthest from you. Mikasa - Eren’s childhood best friend, the two of them and Armin were inseparable. The two in the middle you recognize as well, from the polaroid that Eren had in his wallet. They’re both arguing with each other - with him pulling her hair and her elbowing him in the sides. The fourth boy is entirely unrecognizable to you - broad shoulders, short, messy blonde hair. 

You tap him on the shoulder. 

“Hi. You’re one of Eren’s hometown friends, right? My name is Y/N. I’m his roommate.” 

At the sound of this, the four of them turn their heads, turning to face you. 

“His roommate? Since when?” 

“Yeah. We’ve been living together since the start of the semester.” 

“Reiner, there’s no way in hell right? He kept going on and on about how he was going to finally have a bachelor pad this semester.” 

“There’s no fucking way. He literally hated having a roommate. Remember when he threw up on Samuel’s bed on purpose when he was drunk?” 

Mental note, Reiner’s the one with the blonde hair. The three of them turn their heads towards Mikasa, who's still watching the game. You’re not sure when she showed up, but Annie’s sitting at her side - the two of them linking their arms together as they sit. Right. She must already know Mikasa since her and Armin have been dating for a while. 

“Mikasa. Did you know about this?” 

“He may have mentioned it once or twice to me, Connie.” 

Buzzed hair is Connie. Connie and the girl in the middle open up the space between them, gesturing for the two of you to sit between them. You don’t miss the look they give each other as you sit down, the two of them smiling deviously. 

“I’m Sasha.” 

“And I’m Connie.” 

“It’s nice to meet you guys, really.” 

They both smile, linking their arms with yours as they start staring at you more intently. 

“Say. Do you mind answering a few questions for us?” 

“Sure.” 

“How did Eren become your roommate?” 

“I kind of had these sucky roommates last semester. They kind of didn’t mention that they didn’t want to room with me anymore so I kind of switched around at staying at my friends place while I tried to look for an apartment. I couldn’t find one after a week and I met Eren at Armin’s and he offered.” 

You watch the three of them, Reiner leaning over now, widening their eyes at you. 

“He offered? To house you, a woman, another person, in his apartment, willingly?” 

“I mean, I think so? I think he might have felt bad or something. I’m not really sure why he did it.” 

“I might have an idea.” 

At Reiner’s comment, the three of them start giggling, like they’re all in on some joke you’re not quite sure of. 

“Do you like Taylor Swift, Y/N?” 

“I do, Connie. Is it that obvious?” 

You feel Connie shaking your arm, nearly jumping out of his seat. 

“Me too. What’s your favorite album? Favorite song? Folklore or Evermore?” 

“Probably, Reputation. For the song, I think maybe Sweet Nothing? And definitely Evermore over here.” 

Reiner reaches over and smacks Connie on the back of the neck, mentioning he was getting off track. Off track of what? 

“Say. Have you ever…played Taylor Swift for Eren or something?” 

“Um, not exactly playing it for him but I kind of have a tendency to sing in the shower sometimes. But also, he did willingly watch the Reputation Stadium Tour without me prompting him to, so I think it’s growing on him.” 

At this, Connie and Sasha lean over, their faces a few feet from yours. 

“I fucking knew it. That playlist is about you.” 

“What playlist?” 

You watch Reiner pull out his phone, opening out his Spotify app. The three of them are still smirking - the same way Eren did when he trapped you into staying at the game. 

He hands you Eren’s Spotify profile, with exactly one playlist on it, called peaches. The picture is the one from when you and Eren went to see Kenny in the city, only your hands in view as you pet the cat the two of you saw on the street. 

You scroll through the playlist, with well over a hundred songs - most of them being Taylor Swift. They are organized by album, a few songs picked out from each one. Meaning, Eren went through each album and picked out the songs that he liked. Just because you said you liked Taylor Swift. I mean, it did have to be about you. It is called peaches. 

“So. Is it about you?” 

“Uh, yeah. I think so, Connie. Those are my hands. And he calls me peaches, because of my shampoo.” 

Mikasa leans over, interjecting in the conversation. 

“Did he make you switch it? The shampoo?” 

“Uh, no. I think he likes it?” 

“Hm.” 

Mikasa leans back, sharing a look with Sasha. 

“Is that a big deal or something, Connie?” 

“Kind of. Eren got really bad food poisoning from some peach flavored concoction Reiner made him once in high school. The smell makes him want to like vomit.” 

“It wasn’t a concoction, it was a protein shake. How was I supposed to know that dragon fruit was basically a laxative?” 

“We all told you. Like six times.” the three of them respond, rolling their eyes. 

Sasha and Connie unlink their arms from yours, turning their attention back to the game. The four of them interject once in a while, lost in their own conversations, but your head is still buzzing from the one that you had with them. 

Eren has a playlist. That he made for you. He spent hours probably - listening to each song, picking out the ones he liked. 

“Say. Did Eren ever mention us?” 

“Hm. Well, I knew about Mikasa - Armin and Eren have both mentioned her. And I’ve seen a picture of the two of you before, Eren has one in his wallet. But no Reiner, never mentioned you.” 

“We have his wallet.” 

Reiner taps Zeke on the shoulder and pockets the wallet from him. Sasha and Connie reach over, pulling out the dollar bills first - equally dividing the cash between the five of you and stuffing her share in her pocket - before returing it to Reiner, who pulls out both polaroids. 

This is when you realize your mistake. Because the polaroid of you kissing his cheek is still in his fucking wallet. You watch Reiner pull it out and hold it out in front of Connie and Sasha, the two of them shaking you in their arms as they all scream in your ears. 

“You guys are so cute! We fucking knew it. When did you start dating?” 

At the sound of that, you see Carla turn her head out of the corner of her eyes, slightly shuffling over to see what you two are talking about. And then your mistake gets even worse. Because then Carla runs over, kissing you twice on the cheeks again and literally bursting out of happiness at the news. 

“Oh, I’m so happy for you two. I knew something was going on. And I even told Eren, he better get a move on because a girl like you doesn’t stay single for long.” 

“You would be shocked, Mrs.Yeager.” 

She takes her hands into yours, squeezing twice again. Fucking Yeagers and their hand squeezing. It’s almost impossible not to like them. 

“Take care of our boy, okay?. He’s really sensitive and emotional, which I’m sure you know already but he means well. Really. And let him take care of you too. He’s told me that you’re a little bit more closed off at times, but he would never hurt you. He cares about you, so so much. It’s you two, on the same side, always.” 

And you can’t do it. You can’t tell her the truth because…she’s just so excited. So happy for the two of you. The way she’s holding your hands in hers, kissing your cheeks, doting over you. She’s so excited that it’s you. You don’t want to be the one to tell her that her son has no interest in you. 

So you don’t. 

“I will. Take care of him, I mean.” 

She smiles widely again, crushing you in your arms as he gives you another hug. 

Now you have to find Eren. And tell him that you just told your mom that the two of you are dating. 

-  

You find him at half-time, outside the locker room. He’s lying on the bench with two of his teammates, ice packs pressed to each of his foreheads. 

“Ren?” 

He immediately sits up at the sound of your voice, pulling the ice pack off his head as he stands up. He gestures towards the walkway, the two of you walking back down to the stadium. 

“Everything okay, kitty?” 

“Uh. I might have messed up.” 

He stops, turning to face you. 

“What did you do?” 

“Promise you won’t be mad, Ren?” 

“I could never be mad at you. You know that.” 

Right. Okay. Just tell him. That’s when you start rambling. 

“Well. I met your friends - they’re really nice. Connie and Sasha stole some of your money, though. And Reiner was basically telling me about how he gave you Irritable Bowel Syndrome with a peach smoothie he made you, which is weird because you call me peaches but they were insisting that you hate them. Right, so I told them that you keep a polaroid of them in your wallet - because it’s so cute and I would want to know if I was them -  and then they pulled your wallet out and the other polaroid was still in there. And then your mom saw and she was just being so…so sweet that I didn’t have the heart to tell her we weren’t really together.” 

He’s staring you down. Green eyes, forehead scrunched up, lips in a straight line. Stop paying attention to his fucking lips. 

“So. Let me get this straight. You told my mom that…we were dating?” 

“Yes.”

“That’s it?” 

“What? 

“I thought you killed someone or something. That’s not a big deal.” 

“How is that not a big deal? I just lied to your mother. And told her that we were dating.” 

“Yeah. I’d probably do the same thing if I was in your position. She probably gave you that whole lecture right, about how we need to take care of each other, how I’m all sensitive and emotional?” 

You’ve got to be kidding me. 

“Yeah. How’d you know? 

“She gave me the same one after she met you. Even I didn’t have the heart to tell her I wasn’t dating you. I just told her I liked you, that’s all.” 

“Oh. Okay. I was like freaking out about it.” 

He locks his fingers with yours, squeezing twice as the two of you continue to slowly walk. 

“It’s okay. I’ll deal with her. She just really likes you, that’s all. They all do.” 

“Okay. You sure it’s okay? You’re not secretly mad at me right?” 

He looks over, giving you a lopsided grin, the one that makes your heart skip a beat. 

“Really, kitty. I could never be mad at you. And I know you. There’s nothing nefarious going on up here.” 

He takes his fingers, tapping on your forehead. 

“How do you know? This could all be a part of my secret plot to be the new Mrs. Yeager.” 

“Bullshit.” 

You nudge into him, making him stumble to the side as you both make it to the front of the stadium. 

“And why’s that?” 

“Because. You wouldn’t need a secret plot if that’s what you wanted.” 

He taps the end of your nose before lifting the bar to run back on the field to finish the game, leaving you more confused than when you arrived here.

Stupid Galliard. He always gives terrible advice. 

- 

next chapter linked here

taglist: @maliakealoha @smolone88 @mykyoon @squirrelspoetry @roronoazorosbxtchh @fell-4-u @erensleftnutt @thelazylemur @mg63k @filunara @mblrrr @spidersinmybutthole @lezsie @erensmoodygf @maesthebestmonth @nanamiswife22 @lalalucidity @lapin0u @cullenswife @leafguitar @saiyasworld @rebeccawinters @mrs-sullys-blog @red-moon-dream @icansmellsouls @luvinclouds @katestrophes @amourely @6sakusa @miralbdo @k0z3me @celiniverse @txminie-blog @erenspersonalwh0re @s0f14sbs @violetmatcha @sweetenertea @wheredidmycrowngo @serendippindots @intimacywithceline @alonemoth @l0v31yw0r1d @meowmeowmau @miasthoughtsdotcom @lia-sstuff @sad-darksoul @bsenpai @getfckdd @twistedchild808 @conniesbbymama @tysynn @smokeyfuzz @faejvst @str4wberrylover @cutiejg @studywithrosie01 @princess-ackerman @mxnst3rz @dryxspecialist66 @uenovv @theyloveniqueeeee @sk1nn1p3nn1s @kz-luvs-you 

[flwrstqr]

POLAROID MEMORIES EVENT — an enhypen collab by @lilacnini & @nishions .

# ABOUT — as the embrace of spring envelops the earth, it beckons forth a season adorned with love and beauty. with a quarter of the year tenderly tucked away, memories, like delicate petals, unfurl, weaving together moments shared with cherished ones. The memories of dates, laughter echoing through time, and the gentle caress of affection intertwine to form warmth and nostalgia. Spring, with its soft whispers of renewal, unfurls a new chapter, inviting us to wander through the gardens of cherished memories once more.

# NOTE — new collab with @nishions, or liz!! im so excited to see everyone's works and ideas into this beautiful collab project! i hope everyone enjoys it <3

GUIDELINES —

ONE. STATUS —all entries are full

TWO. to participate, please send an ask to either liz (@nishions) or nini (@lilacnini) with your chosen member and the two keywords that are hidden in the rules. there will be two slots available for each member (excluding me and liz's pieces) please like & reblog this post to help boost this. first keyword is nostalgia

THREE. your work must have synopsis, genre, warnings, and word count before the main content. works with over 500 words must have a read more cut. use the tag "# ⋆.˚nin-liz event" in the first five tags for both me and liz to find it. you may either tag me or liz in your work as an alternative method.

FOUR. the written piece may be a oneshot, timestamp, long fic, and etc. (if writing any timestamp, it must be 400+ word count) and must be member x reader or member x oc. no drabbles, thoughts, series, or smaus!

FIVE. theme of this event is memories of being together. this can be in any form like angst or fluff. it can be any moment as well, but note to keep it sfw. second keyword is love.

SIX. please submit your work by 11 MAY 2024! drop outs are 30 APR 2024

SEVEN. plagiarism is strictly prohibited & will not be tolerated.

EIGHT. strictly no smut. suggestive or mature themes (death, violence, substance use, etc.) are not permitted. no racism, ableism, homophobia or similar prejudices. you will be removed from the collab.

NINE. please don’t be afraid to reach out to either of us if you have any questions or concerns! have fun writing !!

SLOTS & FICS — ENTRIES IN RED MEANS THEY'RE FULL

HEESEUNG · @lilacnini @enhasver

JAY · (2 person claimed but not finished)

JAKE · (2 person claimed, but not finished)

SUNGHOON · (2 ppl claimed, but not finished)

SUNOO · @stariikis (1 person claimed but not finished)

JUNGWON · @wonifullove

RIKI · @nishions @ms-no1kpopstan

O1. PAINTING DAY - LHS (@lilacnini)

you have many favorite moments with heeseung but your favorite is especially when you paint your boyfriend's nails for fun

O2. LUCKY GIRL - KSN (@stariikis

sure, you're already well known as enhypen member kim sunoo's girlfriend, but that doesn't hinder the thrill of tossing a coin and landing on heads when sunoo chooses you, in the midst of the crowd.

O3. PRIZE - LHS ( @enhasver)

you have lots of memories with your boyfriend heeseung, but one of the most cherished memories that you hold dear with your boyfriend heeseung is the day when you both visited the amusement park.

O4. STRANGERS - NRK ( @ms-no1kpopstan)

you break up with your ex and soon meet a stranger who comforts you throughout the night. but that stranger would be your "future" boyfriend, riki.

O5. THE BOY I LOVE BEFORE - YJW ( @wonifullove)

you discover the gifts your ex once gifted you on every date

[hatsunevita]

give me ur favorite bkdk fics im starving i need them chapter 424 carved an endless pit of …. something empty inside of me and i need to fill it with canon slowburn way too long and possibly band au fics thank u for ur contribution

(i need help)

- anon!!

OMG HELLO. WOW.

okay honestly i haven’t read THAT many fics yet but still there are some faves

my absolute love goes to “the art of falling” by sapphicflower on ao3 and as far as i know its not finished yet BUT ITS SO GOOD I CAN’T *NOT* RECOMMEND IT. it’s a quirkless au where bakugou is in a band and deku is a songwriter and they have to work together AND THE SLOWBURN THERE IS KILLING ME ITS SOO NKMXKXXXNX

my second fav is “My Hero Academia - The Post-War Arc” by Son_of_Olympus which is uh as it is clear by the title literally the post war arc. lemme say its actually really close to canon but deku still has ofa so it can be read as an alternative ending of mha

okay this one is the funniest i’ve read srsly. “Bluebird” by EtherealBeing. it’s an au where katsuki accidentally calls wrong number (which happens to be izuku midoriya’s) and starts ranting about his day and then he realised he made a mistake but they still start chatting. im a sucker for “strangers to lovers” trope so. yeah. also deku writes poems there and this is one of the best hcs i’ve seen.

yeah i think those three are my favorites idk if u’ve read them already but i cried over EVERY one of them njsnxknx so yeah good luck

[byjovewhataspend]

Putting on his best outfit to cheer himself up-- it's not really working :(

rambling thoughts about the new manga stuff below

It feels so WILDLY incorrect tonally for none of the villains to be saved. So many people told deku he couldnt save shigaraki and he pushed back against that-- but from any outside view shigaraki dying is the same as Deku killing him, i dont accept 'his ghost smiled so he was saved', afo shattered shigarakis mind the second Tomura's heart wavered and he died instantly (nana saved a little bit of his soul long enough for him to hang out and punch AFO, that had nothing to do with deku)

but the last thing he said before AFO killed him was 'i have to be the hero to the villains' and the last thing he said to deku was essentially 'tell spinner i did was i promised'

but before both of those points almost the entire league (sans compress) is already dead (spinner seems braindead? though the next chapter had people messing with what looked to be his scales so maybe someones working on helping him) so Deku cant tell them anything.

ANYWAYS my 5% hope here, a way to walk this shit back, is that Tomuras quirk 'which used to have a regeneration aspect' regenerated itself and Tomura comes back and Deku gets a second chance to save him for real this time, and then tomura uses the regeneration aspect of his quirk to fix all the rest of the league. he can return Spinner to his old self, and Dabi has GOT to be in that tank in front of Endeavor, right?

(What else in the world does Endeavor have to care about right now except for his family? none of them (or hawks, his only friend) needed a healing tank, so im guessing Dabis horrific husk is in some stasis goo with no hope , spinner is brainded/insane with no hope, toga is probably 'disappeared on the battle field' or maybe in a coma with no hope.. )

((honestly that tank, them not telling us yet if anyones dead (it would be weird to REVEAL people died who we thoughts died on screen a year ago) and the weirdly timed 'tomura couldve been able to regenerate but i removed that' a second before he died are the only reasons i have any hope. im not the hoping type. a series i was interested in ending badly has never been Taken Back before))

i dont know if That Person is Tomura (it didnt LOOK like him, not at all, honestly they looked like a woman to me, but who the fuck knows when they are doing Anime Crazy Face) but it feels like the only way to walk any of this back.

They put so much emotional stuff onto tomura and then gave him the worlds clearest 'he never had any choice to be this way' backstory EVER (even his BIRTH was arranged by AFO thats so fucked up, i wouldnt be shocked if he bought him the dog he killed too) that the ONLY doubt i had that Deku would save him was in that i wasn't sure how youd arrange to keep him out of prison for life. Id been guessing 'rewound to childhood to get a second chance at a better one' (not great but hey, it beats dead or tartaras and it matches that opening i liked) but hey, if hes Confirmed Dead and Deku finds someone Similiar To Him but with Fixing Powers and is liek 'hey everyone this is my brother Tenko my american dad just brought him over isnt that great?' id fucking take it

ALSO plucking Eris horn off so that she wasnt an option anymore like.. from a writing standpoint feels like it has to be FOR something.

Finally: deku looked SO depressed in the most recent chapter. he looked miserable. he hardly spoke a fucking word. considering how he acted about Eri i cant imagine hes the type to be like 'whelp, failed to save those people, i guess ill save a random different person in the final arc and thatll help me get over it'. truly i think if deku to failed to save tomura he'd spend the rest of his life not feeling like a real hero. especially when he checks to complete tomuras wish and spinner cant get his final words? and togas final words to deku was that she liked him and then he ran off and she died?? just. no. it feels so tragic and dark.

i do NOT believe horikoshi has that much creative control, honestly, i feel like if he had complete control he wouldnt kill tomura (since hes written a Tenko into like all his other stories and he loves him) but a small glimmer of hope is Dabi getting fuckign 4th place in the popularity results after he'd already become the most dead looking fucker i have ever seen. SURELY management knows hes popular and would be open to them being saved and redeemed just for BRANDING purposes, right?

PS: everyones been joking but he horikoshi SAID we'd see dekus FUCKING DAD. what possible purpose could that man serve when he wasnt even watching deku lose his arms on international tv?? if its as a cover for bringing tomura back ill fucking take it.

[admirationandromantics]

Stolen Gazes

Okay, so kind of collected a few requests in one (they're all displayed below!), and made this piece. I don't really think you need a summary, especially if you read the requests. Anyways, again, sorry but I write less now than before. I don't feel as motivated, so I either need time or will only be taking requests I get inspiration from. Aka, daily updates might not be happening in the earliest future.

A the same time, I'm writing on the game based story with Chris (check out the one with Josh if you're interested, it's on my masterlist), and just started writing chapter 3 since it'll be way longer than the Josh story. Enjoy this story though, loads of smut and Chris.

Word count: 2,3k (Unedited)

Chris's eye color is- *so* fucking intimidating to me.. im a very heavy eye contact person and i feel like him looking down at me with his eyes would send me into a puddle on the floor. And when he picks up on it he totally uses it to his advantage !? making you look at him when you two fuck because he knows you get so nervous because of it?/&;9 Him flirting with you by simply staring at you while you speak, simple head nods and "mhm's" until youre slowly speaking and getting nervous and quiet while he's got a growing smirk on his face OH MY GOD -anon I want to stare into Chris's eyes while we jerk eachother off omg? making him breathe hard and stutter while his eyes flutter and his fingers tremble while he fingers you because you're stroking him *just* right -anon

“Okay, so you basically press X to jump and O to crouch, try it” I explain, giving him the controller. Chris takes it, hands brushing against each other as he does. I try to hide my blush, struggling from the room already being too hot. Or maybe that’s just me?

“Still don’t understand why we couldn’t just take the tutorial course” he sighs, trying the buttons and getting used to the movements. 

“Because we’re two very capable adults who can figure this out by ourselves” 

“You’re weird” he comments, letting go of the controller and looking at me. He’s waiting for a reaction, and luckily for him, I give in. 

“I’m not weird, it’s just more fun to figure things out on our own” 

He gives a small smile, gazing deep into my eyes, making my stomach turn. He should not be looking at me like that, lord knows what I imagine. 

“And anyways, those courses often have so much unnecessary info, and the first courses are about getting to know the controller and movements…” I drift off, unable to conjure more words. His stare doesn’t shift, and I can’t help but stare back. Deep blue eyes burrowing into me. I wonder what he’s looking for. 

“Well, keep going” 

“I-um” 

His smirk grows, noticing my sudden shyness. I take a breath, blinking away the moment and turning away. This was intense, not in a normal way, but in the way he’s looking at me, analyzing me. I turn back to the screen, grabbing the controller from his lap. 

“Chris, pay attention” 

“I am” 

I continue to fumble with the buttons, figuring out several more things about the game. I managed to easily get through the first course. Now was the second, and I give him the controller, meeting his gaze once again. 

“Your turn” I state, shaking the device in the air in front of him. He takes it, smiling once again. There’s something behind that smile, something sly or dark. I don’t know, but it feels different than usual. He leans to my side, shoving the controller in front of me. 

“Explain what you found out again” 

“You never struggle to figure these things out, and you said you paid attention, just try” I brush him off, looking strictly at the screen. I know if I turn, I’ll not be able to adjust back. It’s like he’s trapping me. 

“Please” he asks, voice low and hopeful. If he just asked me that in a different context I’d be in a puddle on the floor right now. I have to cave, I just have to. Especially before my mind wanders and I’m sitting like a mess beside him. 

“Fine, okay” I take the controller from him again, going over each button as I speak. 

“So, basic movements are these, as well as these. If you want to attack you click here, and the meter will gradually charge until you can use a super attack.” He hums in reply, being a good listener. I therefore continue my explanation. 

“This is for using the shield, this is for the camera angle and this is magic. But, as I figured out, you can’t use it before-” I make the mistake of looking up at him, but he’s not looking at my explaining fingers. Instead, he’s watching me, my face, my eyes. I stop, again unable to speak as his gaze captures me. I try to snap out, looking away and trying to speak again. My voice fails me, and I see his lips lifting up in that sinister smirk, as if he’s finally figured out something. 

“C-Chris, is something on your mind or can you pay attention?” 

He bites his lip, mouth slightly opens as he takes deeper breaths. His chest rises and falls in a larger manner, and I can’t help but look at him. 

“I’m paying attention to you” 

“No, you’re n-”

My comment is stopped by his lips against mine, caressing them softly. I sigh into him, his hand making its way to the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair and pulling me closer. I open my mouth, devouring him further, pressing my body against him. The room is getting hotter by the second, filling with the sound of our collected sighs as we explore each other. 

I move over him, straddling him on the bed. His hands move to my thighs, pressing me down further until I feel him poking against me. He suddenly pinches me, making a loud moan erupt. I don’t mean to, the sensation in itself being painful. He smiles against my lips, rubbing the spot with his palm to ease the pain. I already know I’m going to be blue and red tomorrow. If there’s one thing this man loves to do, it’s not playing fair. 

My head buries itself in his neck, tugging and licking his skin, leaving soft kisses all over. He whimpers in reply, head thrown back and hands exploring the hem of my clothing. I grind down on him, earning loud groans from his mouth. I pull his head up and kiss him, feeling the vibration of his sounds as they go down my throat. 

He takes a firm hold of my shirt, dragging it over my head and letting my hair fall messily down again. I’m about to pull it away when he does it for me. Big hands pulling every strand away from my face as we both laugh a little. As I get a better view of him, he stops, eyes again mesmerising and looking deep into mine. He could drown me in the ocean in his eyes and I would just be pleased that they were his colours. 

“Chris, stop looking at me like that” I whisper, my hands making their way under his shirt, caressing his stomach. 

“Why?” he asks, a playful smirk on his lips. Oh, I hate how cocky he is. 

“Because I don’t know what it means” 

“I think you do” 

He pulls his shirt off, letting me get a view of his naked upper body. I take him in, my fingers tracing the curvature of his muscles, leading up to his neck again. 

“That request goes both ways, Missy” he smirks, hands tracing the hem of my bra as he licks his tongue. 

“Shut up” 

“It’s usually I who tell you that” I smile at his response, capturing his lips on mine again. He fiddles with the buttons on my pants, eventually getting them up. His hand immediately dives under my panties, and I gasp at the sudden sensation. 

“I knew I got you to feel like this” he smirks, attacking my neck. I moan into him, body instinctively starting to grind against his fingers. I’m dripping all over him, craving some type of stimulation and attention before it gets too much. His fingers trace over my folds in a teasing manner, and I whine into his touch. 

“Chris, I swear to God” 

“No need for that” 

Two of his fingers go knuckle deep in me, and I moan loudly, unable to control my sounds. He pushes my body away from him, looking up into my eyes. My cheek flush even hotter than before, and I start moving my body on his fingers. 

“I want to watch how I make you feel” 

“Chris” I pant, nails digging into his shoulders, begging him to get me off. He smiles, a faint rose blush appearing. His lids hang low over his eyes, mouth slightly agape and breathing heavily. They’re lustful, hungry, starving. 

He continues his assault, thumb moving up to caress my clit. He rubs soft circles, not putting too much pressure. I move my hips in the same rhythm, needy and craving. My core starts building up, and the edge is nearing. I’ve completely lost control of my vocals, only able to hold a little back as I near my finish. I want him so incredibly bad. I look down, flushed and embarrassed as I keep jerking off on his fingers. His hand goes to my chin, lifting my face to meet his. 

“I told you, I want to see you” 

“I’m gonna” 

“Good, you’re doing so well for me” 

I let go, the tension in my body releases as I come all over his hands. I pant heavily, trying to steady my breathing and the burning desire in my chest. My high doesn’t last long, as he drags my pants and panties completely off, followed by his own. I take in the vision. He’s big, and thick. God, how I want him. 

I put myself on his lap again, grabbing hold of the base of his dick, slowly pumping up and down. He groans loudly, head falling back in pleasure and hands gripping my thighs so tight it almost hurts. 

“At this pace-” he starts, but a moan interrupts him. My other hand goes to grab his face, lifting it up to make him look at me. Now it’s my turn to look at him, to see him. 

“I want to witness how I make you feel” 

“Yes ma’am” he obliges, heavily breathing and face flushed as his chest gets warmer. I spread his legs, continuing pumping as I go down and take my place in between them. I look up to find him staring at me pleadingly, eyes practically begging me to take him. 

I let go, and he whines from the lack of my touch. The action alone gets me all worked up again, and I can’t help the smirk on my lips. I unclasp my bra, letting the fabric fall to the floor. He stares in awe, finally admiring something other than my face. I lean over, using my hands and letting my breasts surround his dick, squeezing them together and moving. I hold eye contact as he whimpers, occasionally trying to mumble something out. 

“Jesus C-Christ, y-you’re so f-fucking hot, please k-keep doing t-that” 

I laugh a little at his state, completely in daze as he watches me move around him. I lean further down, my lips against his tip, taking in the precum before running my tongue all over him. 

“Shit” 

I smile before going down. I fully take him as long as I can, feeling him hit the back of my throat, making me gag. I push upwards, then go down again, finding a good rhythm and sticking to it. One hand goes to his base, giving attention to the parts I can’t reach, while the other goes to his balls, massaging and caressing. His moans are loud and needy, melodies filling up the room. I look up to find his eyes fluttering, glossy and craving. He’s close, so close. 

Suddenly, he pulls me off him, lifting me up and throwing me on the bed. I yelp, the surprise taking a little to digest. 

“Chris, wha-”

“I’m gonna be inside you tonight, and I’m gonna make you feel so good. You got that?” He states, voice still stuttering a bit, but also a serious tone. 

“Yes” 

He lines himself up, glazing himself in my juices before pushing into me. I moan, and he struggles to contain himself, wanting to go all in at once. His face leans down, capturing my lips in his and swallowing my moans. My arms go around his back, nails scratching his skin. The kisses are sloppy and hot, mouths moving in sync perfectly. I’ve wanted him for so long, and just a little sign was all it took for him to get me here. 

“Are you okay?” he asks, pulling away and looking at me worriedly. 

“I’m fantastic” 

He pushes all of himself in, widening my walls and connecting our bodies. 

“Fucking hell, you fit me so well” he comments, starting to move slightly. His hands fondle with my breasts, body moving up and down on the bed from how hard he’s railing me. I grip the sheets, needing to contain some of my pleasurable outbursts as he digs deeper with each thrust, almost hurting from the depth. He groans, eyes looking over my body, making sure I’m okay. I pull him into a kiss, securing and assuring him. 

“Been wanting to do this since forever” 

“You have no idea how long I’ve imagined this” I answer, and he smirks. His lips go down to my neck, nibbling and kissing. 

“Really? Tell me all about it” 

I think back to just an hour ago, when I came. How his big veiny fingers clicked and rubbed the controller, how I wished it was me. Every time he eats, drinks, even talks. I imagine his mouth on me, kissing, sucking, teasing. 

“About you fucking me mindless…” 

“Oh, trust me, I’m gonna” 

“How your hands move, how rough you can be…” 

He groans in reply, going faster as I continue, his edge nearing. His thumb goes down to my clit, rubbing and stimulating. I can’t muster up any more words as he continues his attack, taking me everywhere. 

“Shit, I’m gonna” he cries, giving a few more thrusts. I whimper, the stimulation overbearing, making me come all over him again, my walls clenching around his dick. He pulls out, spilling himself all over my stomach. 

He lays down beside me, both of us sweaty and panting like we just ran a marathon. I look over to find him caressing my arm, fingers going up and down softly on my skin. I smile, a small laugh leaving my lips. He looks up, meeting my gaze yet again. 

“What?”

“I never thought this would happen” I admit, shaking my head in disbelief. He laughs with me, standing up and stretching. 

“Honestly, I didn’t either” 

He goes to the bathroom, coming back with a wet towel and a glass of water. I take both of them, cleaning myself up and drinking while he kisses my shoulder. An idea pops into my head. 

“You know, we could just get cleaned up in the shower right now” 

“Lead the way”