#help it’s 2:30 am and this thought literally woke me up

[glxthoughts-old]

the natural evolution of the commedia dell’arte is fanfiction. thank you.

[hel1nn]

And suddenly everything changed ೀ⋆｡

Ch.2 a date before marriage? Previous:3 next.

𐔌 . ⋮ satoru gojo x fem zenin!reader .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ : Listen to kingston while reading ⭑.ᐟ

୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ : fluffyy | 18+ smut mdni | eventual smut | arranged marriage | reader is 22 and gojo is 25 | reader had a lonely life untill satoru came | abuse (gojo did nothing here.) | trauma | sprinkles of angsts | jealousy | flashbakes | soft!satoru | soft!reader | loss of virginity | self harm | first time falling in love | reader has two sisters. | Reader belongs to zenin clan. | Idiots to lovers | reader doesn't find satoru annoying since she was alone her whole life. | Insecurities | 𖦹ׂ ₊˚⊹⋆

౨ৎ Summery : spending your whole life with feeling of being useless and a waste of space,even worse that your two sisters had cursed energy but you didn't, made you wanted to kill yourself so many times but it stopped when a marriage proposal was sented to gojo clan about marrying you or one of your two sisters. Your sisters were so powerful and beauty with brain so why did satoru gojo choosed you? Moodboard | series masterlist

A/N : IDK WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS AND SORRY IF I MADE MISTAKES ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE.

Few days has been passed since you met satoru. You can't help but think about him almost every night. Today when you woke up your one of your sister came up to you saying that satoru wants to talk with you, now here you are talking with him on your fathers phone. You locked your room's door for now.

"may i know...what do you wanna talk about"

You said to satori whos behind the screen. You could here a soft chuckle before he spoke

"is there any problem with me talking with my future wife"

"..."

Your face started to heat up..he was already calling you his future wife. Slightly freaking out you nervously answer,cheeks tinted in light pink

"n-no no its not like that listen-'

"no need to freak out i am not maddd" you don't know why but you could literally hear the pout on his lips from the phone,you slump down sighing

"i mean...i thought you'd get disappointed slightly.." you mumble to the phone "but please tell me if you need something.."

"sneak out of your estate at 5:30 I'll come to pick you up"

You stare at the screen dumb founded, before you could say anything he started to speak again

"no excuses i want to see you waiting for me in the nearby park"

The call ended with a click , your eyes shot up in realization. He wants you to sneak out of your clan and meet him...welll. you were anxious why did he wanted to meet you today. Does he wants end this marriage- nope. He wouldn't want to see you for that at least thats what you thought. Your brain not working for a damn minute. ..you don't even have your own clothes that you could wear on special occasions,all the clothes you have were what you wear in your house and nothing more...

── .✦

You managed to sneak out of your estate since no one really checked up on you. Waiting for satoru to come. You don't know what to say about your outfit..you just put a hoodie and pants on. Thats all you got you don't care how you look like right now. You stood there waiting for satoru,from looking around you could tell its already passed 5:30 or something, just to see a black car stop Infront of you. There satoru came out of the car,he was wearing a long coat with turtle neck sweater,black slacks and men's boots. This time there are fancy shades resting on the bridge of his nose, letting you see his blue irises,they were just as bright as the stars you gazed at nights. Satoru smiled seeing you stare at him, snapping his fingers Infront of your face. You stare dumbfounded at him,as realization hits you that how close you two were you take a step back,your face heating up in embarrassment "s-sorry i didnt meant to stare at you like a creep-" you start to apologise for staring at him for too long but ut was too late.

"don't be sorry i know you like what you see right neowwww" satoru teased, laughing softly. He lets you have your personal space. You looked away shyly. Not knowing what to and then the important question pops up in your mind.

"uhm so...why did you wanted me to sneak out of my..place.."

"i am gonna take you out with me."

You stare at satoru dumbfounded for the who knows how many time...he wants to take you out with him sneakily..? He could just tell your father and take you out with him but why like this?

"you know..you could just ask my dad that you want to take me out with you.." you trail of, giving him a small smile just to remind him you don't want to sound rude.

"but its way more fun like this.." satoru chimes, already pulling you with him in the car,you try to say something but thennn you were in satorus car, sitting on the passenger seat.

You just let yourself have some fun, cause nothing was wrong with it. No one really checks up on you so you didn't had to worry about anything happening in your place. The silence was somehow comfortable,you don't know. But then satoru breaks it.

"oh..i forgot to take your number.." satoru said, his hand already offering his phone to you so you could save your number in it.

"actually i don't have a phone.." you mumble and satoru hears it immediately. You didn't really needed a mobile phone since your used to spend your life while watching all this drama. Your dad didn't bothered to get you one too. Satoru was slightly surprised,but then he chuckles

"no problem" you didn't know what he was thinking again,but you knew there would be something by seeing his little smile. And you were completely RIGHT. satoru stopped his car Infront of a shopping mall. Satoru is a little bit too much kind to you. You think since everyone always told you that being kind to you is as hard as a rock. But satoru is being kind to you as if it was never hard...like everyone told you. Satoru's big hand grabs yours again, you had never held any men's hand like this until today. Satoru's hands were warm. You try to say something like where are we going but satoru shuts you up with a playfull remark. You don't know when but a small smile appeared on your lips. Satoru took you to every shop you landed a eye on. You protested that you don't need clothes or some things this much but didn't listened to you. Making you both ending carrying bags of things he gifted you. But a thing was still left. Buying you a phone that you didn't asked for. But he will get you right now anyway. Now here you are, standing Infront a fancy restaurant after a dinner with satoru, where no one took you to. You stooe there with a new phone in your hand...like it was really your phone.. a smiling satoru standing Infront of you.

"i don't need this gojo-"

"satoru." He corrected and you broke into a small smile. Shaking your bead gently

"satoru...i don't really need a phone"

"but you wouldn't be able to talk to if you don't have a phone.." oh. You finally accepted the phone so you could talk with satoru when you're home. The ride to your estate was full of you smiling. You don't remember when you were this much happy last time. His warm hand held yours,long fingers tracing the scars on your wrists. You let him do that because it was comforting. A warm gesture from him. When both of you arrived there wqs horror painted on your face. Where are you going to keep all the things satoru gave you today..?

"g- satoru..." You mumble, tugging at his pinky,he looks at you with a smile, majestic as always. You blush slightly but continue

"can you keep these things? I'll do something about it later i guess-"

"no need to worry, I'll keep these things and after our wedding I'll buy you a closet." Satoru's fingers gently squeezed your cheek. You sigh. A red hue coming up from your neck. that night satoru teleported you too your room. Your phone already has his number in it. Leaving you for Tonight again but with a warmth inside your chest again.

Taglist : @chilichopsticks @milolop @kuroosvow @bypanana @hoseokslefteyebrow @sorcerersseestars @ssetsuka @megumisthirdog @certainduckanchor @myahfig4 @officialholyagua and idk why i can't tag @deliciouslydeliciouspenguin :(

[octuscle]

If a nerd in highschool suddenly gained muscular body, without an effect on his brains or mental state

How quickly would he actually, naturally change? Maybe the attention gives him an ego?

Or maybe the jocks want to be his friend

How much of a jock could the nerd become?

Project diary, entry 1 (Friday)

My name is Salomon Miller. I live in Providence, Connecticut and am a senior in high school. I wouldn't say I have any real hobbies, but I am interested in art history, architecture, astronomy and geology. And many other things. I read a lot and actually everything I can get my hands on. But my passion is sociology and political science. That's also one of the reasons why I'm writing this diary. Starting next semester, I will be studying at Stanford and have a full scholarship, which is linked to my participation in a project. The Department of Sociology will use my person to investigate the effects of serious physical changes on the psyche and behavior. I won't find out in advance what the physical changes are, but the changes were set in motion with the help of an injection that I received today.

My parents support me in the project. My father is a lawyer specializing in environmental law, my mother is a neurologist and psychiatrist. Neither of them understand why I chose to study sociology, but as they both studied at Stanford, they accept my plans. They don't have many options either, they are both in Europe for a long time. My mother has a research semester at the University Hospital of Heidelberg and my father is currently representing a client in a lengthy case at the European Court of Justice. I've known this situation since I was a child. I'm used to having our gardener or Consuela, our housekeeper, as my social contact. That's not meant in a negative way, I love my parents, even if our contact is often less intensive. This has taught me a certain independence, which I really appreciate.

Today is the Friday evening before the last weekend of the summer vacation. The date was chosen deliberately for the injection. This gives me until Monday morning to get used to the upcoming transformation. At the moment, I feel nothing more than a certain tiredness. Normally I would go for a long walk or read something. But I'm just exhausted and will go to bed early.

Project diary, entry 2 (Saturday)

I woke up at around 03:00 in the morning. I was scared to death. I was almost strangled by my pyjamas. I tried to rip the top off my body. I tore it completely to shreds. I was no longer wearing my pyjama bottoms, which were already lying in tatters in my bed. It was clear to me that the transformation had begun. And a look in the bathroom mirror gave me certainty. My whole body was twitching, just like I'd seen in a Hulk movie. Except I didn't turn green. But my muscles literally grew. In fact, little else has changed. I am still clearly me. Even though my neck was already wider than my head, which is why I almost suffocated in my pyjamas, this was still my face. My hairstyle unchanged. My eyesight was also the same. Fortunately, the head can't get any more muscular, the glasses still fit. My thoughts were running amok in my head, I can't describe the feeling, especially as the cramps didn't stop and the muscles continued to grow. I lay down on my bed and tried to relax. At around 04:30 the cramps subsided and I fell asleep again from exhaustion.

When I woke up at around 09:45, I was lying sticky and sweaty in a dried up puddle of semen. Obviously I had ejaculated once or several times. After getting up, I went to the bathroom to assess the change. According to the scales, I now weigh 120 kilograms (I assume that documentation in metric units is more scientific), my height is unchanged at 182 cm. What has actually changed is the length of my penis, which is now 18 cm when flaccid. I have not yet been able to measure the length when erect. In fact, I would have thought that the sight of a muscular man would somehow excite me. But my head has been working like crazy since I got up, I suppose my blood is needed in my brain and is not available for an erection. The shower was still an incredible experience. My body feels great. I had no idea what muscles felt like. However, I realized while showering that I had a problem: None of my clothes would fit me anymore. And my father is smaller than me and, like I was until yesterday, is also more of an ectomorph. My only hope was that José, our gardener, who is probably almost as muscular as me and about my height, had some of his clothes in the dirty laundry. He and Consuela both don't work at the weekend and I didn't want to invade his room.

I was actually lucky and managed to find a pair of jeans, a jockstrap, a T-shirt and a pair of tennis socks in the laundry. Everything smelled very unpleasant and at first I thought about washing it first and then putting it on, but then decided against it. Instead, I went to the mall as I was to buy something new to wear. There is an expense account from the project, which is presumably intended for exactly these cases. Shopping really was an ordeal. As usual, I went to Macy's at Providence Place Mall first, but I realized pretty quickly that I wasn't going to find anything in my size there besides clothes for gym class. Then I went to Abercrombie & Fitch for the first time. The sales assistants literally pounced on me. The XXL T-shirts fitted reasonably well, my thighs were too big for the jeans, but shorts were fine. Fortunately, the weather forecast for the next few days is still very good.

Even though I was extremely focused on quickly working through my shopping list and getting back home, I didn't miss the effect I had on my body. Not only did the sales clerks pay much more attention to me, people turned to me, nodded appreciatively at me and greeted me. It all made me extremely uncomfortable. I was glad when I got home again.

Project diary, entry 3 (Sunday)

I'm not really a religious person, but I value the institution of the church as a culturally integrating entity. So I probably would have actually gone to church, but I would have been very uncomfortable in shorts and low-cut t-shirts that exposed my chest. So I spent the day making up my bed, doing the laundry and getting ready for the first day of school after the vacations. My story for teachers and classmates will be that I spent the summer in Europe with my parents and discovered my enthusiasm for the gym out of boredom. I have no idea whether this story will be accepted. As much as possible, I completed the course enrollment online. Because I really have no idea what I can do with this body, I signed up for boxing and wrestling. The alternative would have been football, but I have no experience at all with team and ball sports. Swimming used to be the sport I hated the least, but a few laps in our pool today have shown me that my body has become less streamlined. Although I have a lot more strength, my times are worse than usual.

I have signed up again for the astronomy and chess clubs. Apart from that, I thought it made sense to leave myself enough time to be able to react to unexpected events.

My first real test was my Sunday video conference with my parents. As I can't hide anything, I decided to take the offensive and had the conversation in nothing but my swimming trunks by the pool. Even though I had no real idea of my parents' reaction, I was actually taken aback. My mother scientifically dissected the situation and said that my body was probably more efficient now and therefore I would have a benefit gain. My father disagreed, as he assumed that a bulkier body had a worse ecological balance. In the beginning, I tried to approach this project as objectively as possible. But then I couldn't help but start crying. I was afraid of tomorrow. And my parents actually showed something like emotion and compassion.

Project diary, entry 4 (Monday)

I was expecting something like running the gauntlet. But the first day at school was actually relatively unproblematic. Most of my friends at least pretended to believe my story about my stay in Europe. The teachers were not surprised either and largely went straight back to business as usual. The only noticeable reaction came from the musclemen and jocks. I have the feeling that they never took their eyes off me. When there was eye contact, I received a respectful nod. Otherwise, I felt a bit like a foreign lion approaching a pride of lions. Every muscle of the alpha animals and their water carriers was tense and ready to strike if I got too close to their watering hole. I'm looking forward to my first PE lesson tomorrow.

Project diary, entry 6 (Tuesday)

While the morning was more of a triumph, the afternoon was a debacle. The subject matter in chemistry and physics suits me very well, everything is very interesting. There shouldn't be any significant challenges in Spanish lessons either. But the new Spanish teacher is also an advantage here. Based on her first impression, she probably thought I was a hollow nut. She didn't expect me to have already read Don Quixote in the original and in the contemporary Spanish transcription during the vacations.

I embarrassed myself to the bone in gym class. Of course, after my contrived lie, everyone assumed that I knew my way around the gym like the back of my hand. And I don't even know how to hold a barbell properly. Interestingly, no one laughed at me or anything. On the contrary, they all assumed that I'm extremely underchallenged and told me that I should just train for myself and that I should join them next week after I've learned the basics. But maybe that was just polite contempt.

In any case, I spent the whole afternoon and evening at home watching all the gym tutorials I could get hold of and reading everything I could find about bodybuilding, nutrition and supplements. That's why I skipped the first session of the chess club. But I had to prioritize.

Project diary, entry 7 (Wednesday)

Theory is good, practice is better. That's why I went straight to the gym this morning at 06:00. The school janitor who opened the door for me said appreciatively that my discipline was paying off. The big boys are always the first to arrive in the morning. If only he knew. But in fact I was lucky, I was alone on the training area until 07:00 and by then I had familiarized myself with most of the machines I had learned how they worked in theory and had also developed a feeling for the weights I was able to lift.

The second visitor to the gym after me was the quarterback of the football team. Stephen and I have been at the same school since first grade. Of course I know him. But of course he has no idea who I am. We've never had classes together and someone like me is of course a nobody to him. Or was a nobody to him. Now I was his biggest rival, the only classmate who had bigger biceps and a broader chest than him. And being the alpha male that he was, he sought conflict directly. As far as I know, the jocks and Himbo's call it "cock comparison". Wherever I trained, he did the same afterwards with more weight. After training, he waited for me in front of the shower and said that he had already heard about me. I was the Spanish exchange student. I looked at him questioningly. "Well, the one who had that book with the windmills and the crazy knight at school. The linebacker goes to your Spanish course. Clever to take Spanish as a Spaniard," he said. I shook his hand, introduced myself as Salomon and told him we were in the same kindergarten. He returned the offered hand with a fist bump and said that I must have mistaken him. He had never been to Spain. But I spoke very good English for a Spaniard.

I always prefer to spend my lunch break alone. I like to read or just relax. This time, however, Stephen waved me straight over to him and his boys. He introduced me as Sal and said I should tell him how I liked it in the USA. At first, I wanted to start comparing European democracies with the US, especially in light of the rise of populist tendencies. But then I didn't think that was a good idea and just said that I thought the USA was the greatest country in the world. Stephen gave me a fistbump and all his buddies followed suit. Before English class after lunch, my friend Frederick passed me and said somewhat reproachfully whether I would always eat with the football team now. I laughed and gave him a fist bump and said that I would only eat as long as my primate research project lasted.

Project diary, entry 8 (Friday)

Yesterday was a wild day! I went to wrestling practice. Everyone but me has taken wrestling as a sport since they were in high school. I'm the only one who had no experience at all. Sure, I looked at and read through everything I could find to prepare. But without any practical experience, I really made a fool of myself. Thank God the coach really understood me. He said that he was sorry that bodybuilding wasn't a school subject. And then he gave me tips on how to pose properly. Damn, when I stood in front of the mirror in just my underpants and he touched my muscles to get them in the right position, I got a boner. And he obviously noticed. He then hugged me from behind and massaged my nipples. It was a feeling I'd never experienced before. I started to moan. He pulled me close to him. I felt his hard-on against my ass. And then I had my first orgasm outside of my bathroom. I was so embarrassed. And it was so great! Since then, I've really just wanted to make my coach proud. I've spent every spare minute at the gym, signed up to the sports club to do more wrestling and spent a small fortune on sportswear. I'm afraid I have a real crush for the first time in my life.

Today I got a telling off from my friends from the astronomy club. I missed the meeting and no longer see them during school breaks. I admit it, I'm neglecting my old social environment. But I have to find my way in my new role. Or rather, I have to find this new role first. Tonight I have a date with a couple of guys from the sports club. We're going to the gym first and then want to watch football in the sports bar. I'm a bit excited because I've tended to spend my weekend evenings alone in front of the computer so far. Now I have to think about what I'm going to wear.

Project diary, entry 9 (Sunday)

Dude, I might be drunk. For the second night in a row. The weekend is one big party. Last night at the sports bar was great. It was a little hard at first to pretend I knew anything about football. But after one beer I didn't give a shit. At some point, someone bought me some booze. Because his team had won or something. I was completely out of it and had to puke at some point. I can't really remember, but I'm afraid I didn't hit the toilet bowl. One of the boys then took me home with him. I really wasn't able to find my way home. Apparently, at some point I invited the boys over for a pool party on Saturday. And it escalated a little bit. Fuck, I probably have to spend the rest of the day tidying and cleaning. But for now I'm going to bed. After I've thrown up.

Project diary, entry 10 (Monday)

I'm a bit embarrassed about my behavior at the weekend. When I woke up on Sunday, a few of the boys were still snoring by the pool. And a few of them were making breakfast on the barbecue. I didn't really get around to cleaning. And then I overslept today too. Consuela suddenly came into my room and asked if my parents knew what had happened here. I gave her 100 dollars from my emergency expense fund and asked her not to reveal anything. She and Raoul actually did a great job. When I got home from astronomy club late at night, everything was pretty tidy again. The two of them are real treasures!

Mondays are not sports days. History, English, math. I admit that math has never been my hobbyhorse. And my teacher has made no secret of the fact that he thinks I'm an overprivileged white boy. When I couldn't answer a question to his satisfaction today, he said something along the lines of "Muscleheads are just all airheads". The whole back row started throwing paper balls at the teacher and hooting in protest. I have never received such expressions of sympathy.

Between school and the astronomy club, I went to the optician and got some contact lenses. Glasses are just so annoying when you're doing sport. And then I went to the hairdresser. I like my haircut. My hair is longer at the nape of my neck than at the sides. I had a photo of Coach with me and said that I wanted to look like this. Hehehe, the hairdresser said that he couldn't take away my muscles. In fact, I'm bigger than Coach. The hairdresser also shaved my beard. I haven't even written that yet, I have the feeling that my beard and body hair are growing faster and thicker. A bush is growing under my armpits and in my pubic area...

The astronomy club was terribly exhausting. I wanted to concentrate on the Jupiter-Venus conjunction. We had the best conditions to observe it today. But the nerds were all just asking questions about what exactly it was like on vacation, how I trained, how I changed my diet. I prepared myself for these kinds of questions. But every one of my answers was scientifically dissected. If it goes on like this, I'd rather look at the stars alone.

Project diary, entry 11 (Thursday)

The last few days have been pretty exciting, which is why I didn't get around to writing the diary. After training on Tuesday I went to the showers. Not all the guys on the team do this, but I just don't feel comfortable in the sweat with a bit of Axe under my arms. I also urgently needed to clear my balls and cock of the hair that was growing and shave my chest. I still can't get used to how hairy I get. In any case, it all took longer than with the other boys and then I was alone with Chuck in the shower. And suddenly Chuck knelt in front of me and sucked my cock. Without warning. I had prepared myself for intercourse in theory and in practice.

In any case, I've been a bit confused ever since. I mean, I have a crush on Coach. And Coach also got a boner when he helped me pose. I mean, he must think I'm hot too. But Chuck says he's had a crush on me ever since he and I spent Friday night together. The night I don't remember. But I'm writing all mixed up...

The blowjob in the shower was definitely sooooo hot. Even though it didn't last long. Boy, I shot my load into Chuck's mouth like that. My cum was leaking out of both corners of his mouth. He French kissed me with my cum in his mouth. Dude, I'm getting hard just thinking about it. And then he grinned and said that edging wasn't really my thing. I had no idea what he meant. In any case, I kissed him again and started wanking his cock. I was far too excited to suck him off myself. Chuck moaned and started twitching. Then he pulled me against him and wedged his cock between our stomach muscles. And then blew his load. Bloody hell! I don't know how long we showered together and soaped each other up.

In any case, I then started to gain practical experience with sexual intercourse. Chuck spent the night with me the day before yesterday and yesterday. The first time we fucked was really awkward. Chuck also asked if I was still a virgin. I said no, of course. But I'm sure he realized that it was the first time I'd fucked someone. And also that I was being fucked. In bed and in the hot tub. The first time I blew him was Wednesday in the school bathroom. We both just had a lot of pressure on our balls before civics. Shit, I'd never thought about sex before, now I can't get sex out of my head.

Practice is coming up. I just jerked off to the idea of forming a sandwich with Coach and Chuck in the shower. That would be so hot!

Project diary, entry 12 (Sunday)

Shit, I love my life. The parties this weekend were so hot. I mean, sure I love Chuck, but my dick has too much energy for one man. And Chuck gets off on me fucking other men too. As long as he's the only one who gets to fuck me. It's a point of honor, of course!

Before I go to bed now, I went to the gym again. To burn off the alcohol. And prepare my muscles for a tough week. I have my first wrestling tournament next Friday. And I've promised Steph-bruh, the quarterback, that I'll drop by football training. The hollow nut still calls me wetback, but has now understood that I'm not Spanish or Latino. And then I have to chat with my mentor from Stanford again. I don't know if sociology is really my subject. Chuck wants to study business administration. He's hoping for an athletic scholarship. Maybe I'm up for that too.

Inspiration found @redneckmusclehead

[saigawrites]

Hey siri, how to take care of an aura jelly blob?

Continuation of my series | part 1 | part 2

Seelie! Genshin characters x Platonic! Gn! Reader

Sumeru men edition

Tags : fluff, crack, scenarios

Warnings : cursing, mentions of animal attack

Summary : you took home a strange creature, that looked nothing like anything from your world. So, you try to take care and somehow live with this sentient balloon.

You didn't know what had happened at all. You didn't know how and why you took home an intellectual blob with pretty colors. But, right now there is no time asking questions, as this flying circle thing has been squeaking for about 30 minutes, trying to explain you something. You came up with an idea in your mind, but for a moment thought it would be impossible. But, who knows? Maybe this creature actually has an intelligence and can write what they wanna say on a notebook?

Grabbing a empty notebook and a pencil from your workspace table, you open it and give the pencil to the creature. Shockingly, it holds it with tiny arms, and levitating themselves closer to the paper, they start to scribble something.

Wanderer ♥︎

"Filthy humanoid creature! I am the unnamed wanderer from teyvat! I know nothing about the surrounding environment around me. Tell me, where am I, so I can figure out a way to return to my homeland. And don't you dare to take advantage of my current state! I am powerful beyond your understanding, even if I'm not in my original form."

Okay, that's kinda freaky. Why is an aura balloon acting all supreme now?

When you read what he wrote, an "really?" expression set on your face. That's probably why he zapped you when you took him out of your bag.

As much as you know, there isn't a place called "teyvat" in any part of the globe. So, this thing is from another one. Great. You somehow bringed an alien into your house.

But at least, some of your questions were answered.

You found a bit funny that a floating circle with cat ears and tail was deliberately trying to boss around, though you didn't wanna get electrocuted again, so you simply followed whatever demands this alien thing could have.

Oh, his demands were BIG. No sleeping past 6 AM, doing intense research on the topic of multidimensional lapping, and long explanations about literally everything your world can offer you.

Well, you are glad that you don't have to feed him or watch after him.

That last part was a lie, as this seemingly harmless boss companion of yours was dangerously curious, and happened to cause trouble even if he was as soft as jelly.

Yeah, that time he wanted to see what type of clothes do your humans wear, he shaked that closet a little too much, as it almost fell on you.

You learned that he is surprisingly very strong after that, he even helped you put the heavy wood rectangle back in place.

Or that time you both were taking a walk in the forest, and he came too close to an aggressive tank with antlers, a 6 feet tall moose, making him react violently to you.

Gladly, the moose couldn't come any closer as your blue-purple friend somehow casted a heavy gust of wind, strong enough to push the animal away.

Your angry little jelly blob rushed to your side after that, afraid of you damaging yourself in any way. After scanning your face for any injuries and finding none, the cat blob made sure to not to stray away from you far.

Kaveh ♡

"Thank you, kind-hearted humanoid! I was so scared when I woke up in that place. Your rescue will be forever remembered by me. I am Kaveh, the architect of the sumeru city! It is an honour to be acquainted with such a peculiar creature like you! Please, help me find a way for me to get back to my planet."

First off, did he mention sumeru? The ancient city that existed centuries ago? Second off, did he call you peculiar? These balls be wildin

The warm-yellow bunny eared balloon floated around you excitedly, waiting for your response. You wanted to pet him and slap him into the void at the same time.

You got his vibe just right in your first interaction. The jelly ball acted all cute and adorable, but the clinginess of his made you progress on the aggression part in the cuteness-aggression feeling way more.

Seriously, this piss blob's ignoring of your personal space is on another level. The amount of times you had to shove him away from nuzzling all over your face and hair is overwhelming.

In his eyes, you are a majestic architectural masterpiece. He takes notes how your eyes and ears are on the same level, how your brows are exactly perfect centimeters away from your eyes. He loves your nose structure, he often stares at it to much, gaining a questioning look from you.

He is just like that with literally everything else in your apartment. He takes notes of the proportions of some objects, and in his seelie mind he finds ways to project your modern structures into his own.

Other than disturbing your piece he likes to look out the window, stare down at all of the other buildings and examine them with extreme focus.

Sometimes he even tries to make a sketch with his itty bitty hands, but fails miserably and comes crying to you, burying himself in your arms and making you pet his smooth body.

Al-haitam ♥︎

"I am Al-haitam, and I come from another world, as you probably already have guessed from our appearance differences. I thank you for taking me into a safe environment, may the archons bless your kind-soul. I ask you to fulfill my another wish, help me return back."

Who are archons? Are they some kind of deitys? Gods perhaps? You truly don't know.

His calm and reserved behavior matched his talking style. He kinda reminded you of the mystical tree, his colors and a leaf like antenna confirmed your statement further.

That's probably why you would burst out laughing whenever the green aura circle would act all smart, reading books and watching educational videos on youtube with you.

Though, after laughing your ass off, you would always think of his behavior as cute in a way. So much that you would have to hold your hands in place and resist the urge to just squeeze the life out of him.

Sometimes you couldn't hold it tough, and give in to your desires, smiling and giggling as you nuzzle this jello orb body of his.

Fighting back and eventually winning, he would aggressively bring your communication notebook and write down that your relationship is purely professional and you are disturbing his necessary research.

Making a ridicilously serious face and nodding repeatedly you would leave him alone for some time, only to come back again to lay on him and fight in the process.

Eventually he would just give up and go with the flow of your playfulness, seeing as he got exhausted of reading multiple books already.

And when you would get tired, you both would just lay there, napping peacefully as he nuzzles in your chest, listening to your heartbeat and think of how strange you are in his world perspective.

After waking up from a quick nap, he would poke you with his tiny arms and tug you to stand up to go to the library with him.

He really loved your libraries, the sight of your extremely detailed and textured bookshelfs and scriptures would make him scream like a fangirl on the inside.

He also liked your concentrated state, with your reading glasses on and gaze fixed on the letters. He would enjoy it even more when you would take notes of the subject, he's genuinely amazed of your handwriting.

Cyno ♥︎

"I am the general Mahamatra, Cyno. I thank you for saving me from the streets. I would be more than happy if you could get me back in my world, teyvat. Thanks in advance, or should I say, in later on."

What the hell was that. Was it... a joke? Okay, now is not the time to question what type of humor does this purple circle has.

Oh, but he's questioning you, looking at you with such a attentive gaze. Is he waiting for you to laugh?

Fulfilling his wishes, you chuckled from the amusement of not getting the joke at all. The blob didn't care though, as he simply jiggled in his place, proud of himself.

From that moment you discovered that this alien orb is a terrible jokester, as he would literally pull you from whatever you were doing to just check his new made ones.

And everytime you couldn't help but laugh histerically at his antics, because you wouldn't get the premise at all. All of his jokes never made sense, but were the most hilarious thing you laughed at in a while.

And he would always jiggle with pride after you laughed, bro really thought he gained a fan of his jokes💀.

One day you thought about showing him your world's perspective of humor, as you sat him up on the couch and turned on the tv with popular comedy shows.

Safe to say he would repeatedly jump from his seat, and roll on the couch from side to side, as his purple anubis ears would jiggle uncontrollably.

You took it as a sign of him liking it, and soon enough you both had a routine of watching comedy shows and gasp from laughing.

At first you thought he was just a happy go lucky guy, not realizing he can be sort of a guard dog.

Really, you only saw him being serious when he sensed something and flew to it's direction, only for it to be a racoon that he scared away with mini thunder.

Now you got why he was such a bright color of purple. Not gonna lie, you were a little scared to hold him after that, afraid he'll electrocute the shit out of you😰.

But it never happened, so you guess he's only friendly to you? Honestly, you felt kinda honored to have this status.

Tighnari ♡

"Greetings, suspectable another species of humankind. I am Tighnari, the forest ranger of the sumeru region. It is a pleasure to be in your natural environment, being able to study your world. Though, I would appreciate it if you could help me return back to sumeru. I still have a ton of things to do back there, so please, make sure to fulfill my request."

Is he some type of a scientist? "A pleasure to be in your natural environment, being able to study your world" yeah, my ass.

And he was an ass. Pain in the ass, to be exact.

He wouldn't leave you alone, wherever you would go or whenever time it was. He was always around you, floating and examining your features.

He just can't help himself, you look so strange! And everything around you looks so strange. He just has to know atleast something about the place he is in right now, what type of setting it is, how does it work, and yada yada yada...

That's what lead you to the situation you are in now, as he peeked out of your hoodie pocket, staring at all the contests of the supermarket you were in.

Even if you had told him already a thousand times that he can't go with you because he doesn't look like everybody else, he didn't listen and sneaked inside your clothes, successfully getting out of the house with you.

You desperately tried to cover his enormous ears with your hands, stuffing him further inside the pocket only for him to pop out from the other side. What a nosy aura blob.

It would get even worse when he would fly out to scan some object like salty pickles, thinking of it as peculiar, when in reality the only thing that's peculiar was him.

He would closely watch whenever you would put something in the cart, taking notes on how you hold the product and how you place it inside the metal structure.

He especially got very freaky about your world's greenery, demanding you to go out with him into a park, a nearby forest or literally anywhere where there is some type of plants.

You instead decided to take him into a local botanical garden, and when I say he went crazy, he went crazy.

Stopping every 3 minutes to find a new plant and examine it for about 20 minutes you and him spent the whole day in that garden.

He would poke your shoulder to it being numb, asking you to explain or tell what kind of plant it is, where does it grow, how does it grow, can we take it home, all that nerdy shit.

You did end up taking some small house plants afterwards, due to his unstoppable crying and squeaking, like a child wanting their parent to buy candy in the store.

He then made sure to always bug you to take care of the plant, saying that he is "incapable" of doing so himself. What a troublesome circle.

Oof, this ones LONG. And I'm proud of it😜. Genuinely hope you enjoy this, cuz I spent an eternity writing this😭.

Tag : @vault-of-reblogs

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for asking my husband to stop taking NyQuil?

My father in law came to visit for Thanksgiving and gave my family (me 30F, and our kids 2F, .5F) covid. It's hit my husband (31M) the hardest. He has a terrible cough that hurts and sounds awful. He can't sleep without taking NyQuil to suppress the cough. I am not able to take any medicine other than Tylenol for my headache, because I am breastfeeding the baby.

This wouldn't matter much because I am not nearly as sick as my husband, but I am not getting better because I am not getting sleep. Neither kid will sleep longer than 2 hours at a time, they take about 30-45 minutes to settle back down, and they usually end up waking in a staggered schedule that means I literally do not get to sleep the entire night. As soon as I lie down from getting one back to bed, the other will start crying. My husband will handle the toddler from 8-11pm, then takes NyQuil and doesn't wake up until after 10 the next morning. He is essentially dead to the world until he wakes up naturally. I am alone all night and morning with no sleep and two crying children. My mental health is tanked, to the point where I'm having intrusive suicidal thoughts for the first time in almost 10 years. I haven't had more than 90 minutes of sleep at a time in 5 days, and no more than 4 hours in a 24 hour period. I am incredibly lucky that I have unlimited sick time available at work.

My mom has been able to help us a couple of times when we were truly desperate, but she is disabled (and also has covid because she had my in-laws over for coffee while they were in town) and I don't want to ask too much of her because she truly can't spend that much energy on us without severe impact to her own health.

My husband will get no sleep without NyQuil. I won't get much more sleep since the baby only calms by breastfeeding, but if my partner handles the toddler wake ups I could get maybe an hour more sleep, and I wouldn't feel so alone.

Would I be the asshole if I ask him to stop taking NyQuil and we both so more or less sleepless?

INFO I couldn't fit in nicely but I can imagine people asking if this were a parenting circle: 1) he isn't a great help during the day already because he's sick. I'm doing most of the childcare and all of the cooking and cleaning during the day while he lays on the couch coughing. Him not getting sleep would not noticeably impact his daytime behavior. When we aren't sick, he is a stay at home parent and I work full time. 2) my baby is sick, this is not the time to sleep train her by letting her cry until she falls back to sleep. 3) My toddler up until this illness was excellent about putting herself back to sleep if she woke in the night. Now she is having nightmares and getting upset about her stuffy nose and crying at every little thing because she has sinus pain and doesn't understand it. She is too young to take decongestants and spits out any Tylenol we try to give her.

What are these acronyms?

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Trapped Inside A Scapegoat: Astral Traveling & The Truth About Certain Demons & Entities

So I wanted to bring up some things about demons, lower entities and the dream states that we fall into when we are asleep in the night. I will never forget my first encounter of seeing the unseen, but one particular story I have in mind puts me back into a spell.. Its like a hazy feeling, I never knew how to explain the things that happened but it scared me to the point that I could never sleep past 2:30, and if I was still awake I stayed awake until dawn. Boy, high school was a drag.

Just an fyi, if you dont believe in spirits or the spiritual realm then this isnt for you. k? k. <3

On these nights I couldn't sleep, it would be because of the sleep paralysis that would happen and the weird energy I would be forced to recognize during these hours. As well as seeing things that just did not make sense, I would look at the clock to see it was either 2 am to 4 am. Never an in between.

So, I wanted to go in with a little story time, maybe this will help me unbox some things that happened. Because after a long ole while, after this event, my life changed... seemingly more depressive, and anxiety would be in the forefront of my reality for a long while.

Back when I was a teen, I remember cakin' on the phone with this one guy I had the biggest crush on, and it was around 2:30 at the time. At about 3:00 I told him I was tired and quickly laid down to rest.

So let me give you guys some details. I normally like to rest on one side of my body, typically on the right side and in my room I face the window. So from my memory, our conversation lasted til 3:08. I NEVER forgot the time. Sometimes Im a quick dreamer, so I go to bed pretty easily. Anywho, I remember the dream started where I was in my room. It was really interesting, me and a few people that I knew from high school (and my old school that I had just recently moved away from) were practicing some cheers because we were training to be on the cheer team. It was weird. In the dream some of them had on cheerleader gear, and some of them we're outside the front of my room where I could see them thru the window. The girls told me they would be right back as they we're going to get their things for the cheerleading competition/training, they run out the room and the next thing you here is a bunch of rumbling... theirs voices speaking from around the room but i don't see nobody. next thing you know everything goes black. the blacker it gets the louder the voices... i realize from this point their speaking in an unfamiliar language... latin almost. or whatever they were saying was backwards... at this point i was able to open my eyes and i see a dark figure standing right in front of me. What took me off guard was that its eyes, they we're like stars and had this intriguing shine to it. It was 'bald' but had a human-like body but no mouth ears and barely even a nose... I could feel it touching me, the back of my neck had chills as you can tell thats where it was touching on me. I grew scared but remembered I could get up.

And then boom. I woke up.

But this is what i thought was weird. Remember when I said I was sleeping on my side? I woke up on my back, facing the mirror. I looked at the time and it was 3:16 am.

What. The. Fuck.

I had barely slept? How could that be? All of this happened within a matter of minutes. I was exhausted. I said, 'Was this the devil?'

Quickly I ran into my grandparents room, lmao, yeah I know. I was scareeeeeeeed. My room felt cold after that. I had to go.

And for a while, that wouldn't be my last encounter. I mean, the thing went away, but there was more to come. At this point, I had to face the mirror. I mean literally face the mirror because its the center of the room and my bed faces it. But I had to sleep... This would go on for many months until one day it just.. sorta stopped. I began my journey of law of attraction, numerology, and metaphysics at this point and grew a little happier. So maybe it was destiny.

So let me get into a few things about this dark shadow being and some tips about whats going on:

Mirrors are shapeshifting portals. Their portals to other dimensions. And 'entities' can & will come through here in the access of dreams/illusions/nightmares etc.

3 am is considered the 'devil-hour' - this is when the veil to the spirit realm is unlocked and you can see more outside of the veil.

Fear and lower energies can 'attract' these beings to your door step. They can smell it on you.

That 'shadow' being could be insight to whats deep inside of yourself. Your power. Your Energy. Your light. Even on the other side it's noticed.

So when I seen this being, I was shook out of my mind. But wait.. after moments and time of introspection. I've learned that it's mirroring back at me something I never thought I would ever thought was me.

Months later I digged into astrology, numerology, found some things about angel numbers, started trying to process the spiritual realm much more clearly. Because the thing kept happening to me, and I was always an anxious & yet fearful girl, I knew there was a bit more strength in me.

When the thing came, I was trying to get out a depression when I was at my old school and once I had finally returned back to my hometown I was little happy. But at night, our darkest feelings, our inner shadow shows its weight, and also our potential.

I've tried tapping into that 'fear', and have learned there is so much more about me due to the dreams I've had of my future. It takes me back to the shadow figure from that night. Because why we're you there?

Also, what stuck to me the most was that a friend at the time told me that if you see something like that and it touches you, some sort of witchcraft might be on you... another topic, for another day I suppose.

But it always stuck with me, because... how so?

At the time when I was in high school and seen these weird entities because again, this went on for MONTHS. Every other day and night. I noticed before then I had a fear complex, thats what I'll call it. Always anxious, always sad, always depressed, been that way since a young girl. So now we get to the part where we talked about a trapped consciousness.

Because immediately when that happened, I went straight to church with my grandma ! Lol. No jokes. And later found out it was not the answer I needed. It wasn't working. Not to say going to church can't help or save someone, it just didn't have the answer I thought I needed. I went looking for some time when I would go.

What I want to say is, when you see things you cannot explain. You cannot run to the church, religion, or even a 'savior', because at the end of the day YOU have to learn it. You have to come to terms with it. And I've been learning. So so very hard, and its begin to giving me the dream & insight of what was truly around the corner.

My ancestors dream. Metaphysics, Clairvoyance, My dreams where trying to come thru in the astrals and when you are at your lowest these 'things' can come in and try to warp your mind/gifts/talents/ etc.

The final thing I will say here is that they feed off our spirits because in the lower realms they need 'fuel' to get to 'heaven' and you are the source of that. We the human are 'heaven' and some entities are parasitical and need life force to move to the other side.

So fear, guilt, shame, anxiety, depression etc is one of the lowest frequencies to be on because it is denser and its harder to move 'up'.

And when you live in those vibrations, your blocking your own destiny. Your truth, your light, your power all is unlocked once you move past it.

Another thing I will say is that not all 'lower entities' are evil. But for the sake of talking about demons and entities, I will save that for another post, to leave out any confusion.

[dabislittlemouse]

(This is like, my third ask ever. Please have mercy on me if I mess it up.)

Okay, so I saw your reply to the Anon ask about the porn of his partner that Dabi keeps in his phone, and I don't know why that hooked me so hard, but - ohmagawd, I LOVE it.

Yes. 1,000%. Thank you.

I love it. It's perfect. Yet, I don't know why, but something carnal in me just NEEDS to bring it back and expand on it.

Now that we have established that we all know that, yes, of course, Dabi absolutely has porn of him railing the brains out of his Little Mouse filling up all the storage in his phone - how does he organize it? How?

Because you know he fucks you way, WAY to much to just have a single album for smut. It'd have like 2,000+ things in it! That's a mess! He would never find that exact video he's looking for on a lonely night when his favorite cocksleeve wasn't around.

I feel like Dabi is the kind of guy who meticulously organizes his porn (not like Shiggy, that animal. No wonder he can never find what he's after.) Especially the stuff he keeps of HIS partner.

(I have a Samsung phone, apologies if it's different in Apple but-)

First, he's got an entire file named after you. Is just your name. Almost as if it were totally innocent.

And in that main file, he's got all his pics and videos organized into numerous different groups and albums. You know, like his own personal pornhub of just you.

Sure, he's got some that are like: 'cute shit', 'selfies', 'sleeping', or whatever.

But mostly, it's more like those that are organized by type; 'Blowjob', 'Handjob', 'Strip Tease', 'Anal', ect.

Or by position; 'Doggy', 'Cowgirl', 'Missionary', 'Mating Press', and so on and so on.

And some by kink; 'Cuffs', 'Bondage', 'Tit Fuck', 'Gagged', 'Burns', 'Creampie' and more.

Then there are 'Favorites', 'My Coat', 'Whore Noises', and 'Fucked Stupid'.

In every album, they are organized youngest to oldest. And every single picture or video is dutifully named with the date, the file it belongs in, + any other type/position/kink of note. If it's a video, he also adds the number of times you came at the beginning of the video to the number by the end, the same for him if applicable, and a delectablly brief description.

I.E.

'Jan 24 2023, Sleeping, Drool on pillow.jpg'

'Feb 14 2023, Facial, Babe wanted Facial for valentines, good girl.jpg'

'Mar 11 2023, Whore Noises, cowgirl/some burns, Cum 5-8, 3, screaming my name while tits slap her in face.mp4'

'Apr 07 2023, Tit Fuck, Aftermath of Mouse wearing my coat as I Tit Fuck her.jpg'

'Apr 27 2023, Blowjob, deep throat training going well, almost there!'

'May 30 2023, Blowjob, begging & punishment, Cum Denied, 3, Mouse swallows 3 loads as punishment for being a brat, begs to cum but she's been bad.mp4'

'July 15 2023, Doggy, bitch is loud, Cum 3-8, 0-2, Mouse railed in sundress over back of couch until braindead.mp4'

'Aug 08 2023, Creampie, juicy, cum I lost count, 5, admiring my handiwork after destroying pretty pussy.mp4'

BRO- I AM LITERALLY SPEECHLESS HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO GOOD AND DETAILED??!! PLS I JUST WOKE UP AKDNAKDJSJDJSDNSJDKDJ

The way I am smiling while reading this at work help- I literally love this ask SOOOO MUCH you have no idea 😫😫 definitely one of my favorite I’ve gotten so far

I just love how organised this all looks, and how filthy, the descriptions of them, the dates, omg I’d feel extremely embarrassed at the thought of him having a pornhub gallery only with me in it with such detailed descriptions please-

I see Dabi as a very organised type of person so I just know for sure he’d organise his porn gallery pretty well.

Also the shade on Shiggy made me cackle too much

[cosmo-production]

mario + rabbids incorrect quotes vol:2

*The Squad is on a hike* RL: It’s beautiful out here. peach: And quiet. RL: Too quiet. peach: Did we lose someone? *cut to edge with a bear in a headlock*

peach: Rabbid luigi is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in their entire life! RM: Never done anything wrong?! They set a city block on FIRE!

mario & RR:*Playing video games* peach: You guys woke up at 5:30 in the morning just to play games? mario: *silence* RR: *silence* peach, finally figuring it out: ...You two never went to sleep, did you? mario & RR in shame: Yeah...

peach: Okay, what does A stand for? RL: Arson. peach: Aw, you're so good. Okay! B! What does B stand for? RL: Barson. mario: *laughter* peach: What stands for C? RL: Commit arson. mario: Oooo.  peach: D! RL: Don't come near me, I'm going to commit arson. mario: *more laughter*

RM: We are gathered here today because someone- *glares at luigi’s coffin* -couldn’t stay alive!

Computer: Please enter a password. Rm: *types in edge* Computer: Your password is too weak. Rm: How f?$$ing DARE YOU-

RP: Yeah, but let's not get too crazy. *The gang proceeds to get arrested for blocking the road in large traffic cone costumes

RM, trying their first ever cup of coffee: I am ENERGY! peach, an avid coffee drinker, on their twelfth cup of the day: Someone slap me awake or I am literally going to fall into a coma in ten seconds.

RM: Come on edge, do it for our friendship. You can't put a price on that... edge: Yes I can, 8 dollars.

mario: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? RP: Schrödinger's boys. luigi: MARIO WTH RL: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? RM: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. RM: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. mario: ... RP: ... luigi: ... RL: ... RM: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

peach, teaching RP to drive: Okay, you're driving and mario and RM walk into the road. Quick, what do you hit? RP: Oh, definitely RM. I could never hurt mario. peach, massaging their temples: The brakes. You hit the brakes.

RM: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions. RL: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions. luigi: Who's caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist? RM: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions?

hold on stop the quotes for a second, THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS!? caramelizing doesnt mean putting carmel on it? I've been calling caramelizing when I put caramel on ice cream

back to regular program~

RM: As usual, RM has to save the day! edge: As usual, edge has to hear about it

peach: That’s the key slice of truth we need to complete the entire truth pie. RR: Ooh, can we get some actual pie? peach: I like the way you think.

mario: *shatters a window and climbs through it* mario: *turns around and helps RL through it* Breaking and entering is wrong RL. RL: Okay.

edge: All of your existences are confusing. The Squad: How so? edge: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to any of you upsets me.

peach, texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I’m at the store so be quick! RL: Moose Tracks is good! RR: What the bawh is that!? RL: *Gasp* How dare you insult moo- RR: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR. peach and RL: what? RR: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!? peach: You done now? RR: Yeah ok. peach and RL: ... RR: ...Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?

*RM and RR are fighting* edge, taking aspirin: I have a headache! Can you guys just be cool?! *RM and RR start fighting while wearing sunglasses and riding skateboards*

RP: What the hell is wrong with you? RM: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

RM: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths. Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

mario, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

peach: Would it be discrimination to only hire employees at my doughnut shop who have the same name? RP: Legally, I don't believe that breaches any discrimination laws. Morally though... I don't know. peach: I believe god is on my side when it comes to Duncans' Doughnuts.

edge: Let's all agree that going up the stairs on all fours is actually the best experience on earth. RR: Conversely, going down the stairs on all fours is actually the most terrifying experience on earth.

[kyojurismo]

oh sorry sorry this was my sleep schedule -went to bed at 2:30am -woke up at 7:45am -fell asleep at 1pm -woke up at 5:24pm still fucked as SHIT but hey fuck it we ball LMFAO BUT OMGGGG YESS kyojuro dealing with nightmares tho :(( waking up in a panic to a man who sleeps as light as I do (I wake up at my brother's laugh) just waking up alongside you and holding ur hand :(( reassuring you that you're safe, that it was just a nightmare, etc etc and I firmly stand by this man handling most things like a champ you're sick? nauseous and things happen? he's got it in the bag aforementioned, period? bleedthrough? he's got it cleaned up before you can say his name nightmares? the most gentle being. even showing you interesting things, like maybe his battle scars and explaining the stories behind them, or stories from when his mother was alive <3 like he has everything handled like a champ bro and tengen is very similar, but with nightmares he's quicker to distract and comfort you afterwards. definitely exaggerating some of his stories from his scars, telling funny stories about hina, makio and suma, stories that he comes up with right on the spot. man thinks that food or a drink is the solution to any problem-- likely asked shinobu what teas may help relax someone, or if you don't drink tea another soothing aide. I just feel he's very thorough with how he takes care of you, especially after nightmares. he wouldn't want you to relive them, so he'd just give you a quick peck and ask you the most random thing. maybe about your favorite.. something, if he already knows it he'll ask you about it. christ I got carried away MY BAD NDJKGSSKG 🪐

oooh, i thought you meant 5am lmao i’m dumb, anyway we have a similar sleeping schedule btw bc i usually go to sleep at 3 am and wake up around 8:20 am, then i take a nap around 2:30 pm and wake up at like 5:30 / 5:40 pm so yeah

anyway . . . i agree, kyojuro is like a mum ( positive ) i mean he knows how to handle every single situation and is quick to find a solution anyway ( it’s canon after all ). tengen would surely be the one to prepare tea or anything to help you relax and literally come up w funny stories on the spot, yeah. i love them sm 🥹

these scenarios were really cute, i enjoyed reading all that so no worries if u got carried away hehe. i love them boys and i’m glad to read about other’s thoughts about them in x situation <3 i’m happy you like sharing them w me

[slutwithagut]

Post #2

The amount of cigarettes I’m smoking is insane for someone with no income! It’s time to ration. It would be cheaper to roll my own… but I don’t know how to roll. Maybe now is the time to finally learn? I digress. We will worry about that at a later time n date.

I have a close friend who employs me to give him rides home from work. Usually every Monday he needs a ride home from work around 8:10 pm because he goes in at 8 something the next day. Occasionally he asks for rides from the local trolley stop that’s about a 10 minute drive from my house.

I bring this up because my weekly income is about $28 on a good week.

So I need to chill on the tobacco.

Things were easier when I smoked spliff bowls (mole bowls, moke bowls, party bowls, whatever u wanna call them) which is cannabis mixed with tobacco. I’ve purchased a great many bags of bugler tobacco. It’s much more cost effective then buying a pack of cigs. The bugler pouch is roughly good for about 30 cigs versus the 20 you find pre rolled. It costs $7/$8 while a pack of cigs is $10/$11

I had purchased a joint rolling machine and filters earlier this year to roll my own. I found it just didn’t hit the same. I also proceeded to break the joint roller. A common theme in my life. Breaking useful objects due to carelessness and or intoxication. If only y’all knew me when I did XANAX and drank heavily while popping. I broke so many things… three lovely bongs, a babyliss hair straightener, bottles, and endured countless bruises and scratches. I also strained some of my personal relationships as you don’t give a single solitary FUCK when your xanned out.

So moral of the story is I am going to start rationing out my cigarettes.

I might buy a vape but I have to go on the black market for one and it seems like such a hassle.

Smoking cigarettes may seem glamorous and look cool. It feeds my oral fixation. But it makes you stink. I literally need to buy gum, scented hand sanitizer, and a small bottle of body spray so I don’t smell bad.

Wish my luck my loves! It ain’t easy trying to kick my vices.

It’s also 12:19 a.m. while I write this. My brain is tired but my body is on high alert. I do suffer from insomnia and weed helps that a lot.

It’s tough to learn how to live my life with out mind altering substances. I also find myself becoming more irritable. I might need to up the dosage on my medicine. I also kind of want to ask my doctor for sleeping pills… but it seems wrong? Since they have a potential for abuse. It would be nice to actually be able to fall asleep around the same time every night. I’ll probably be up until 2 or 3.

If I fall asleep before that I usually wake between 3 and 4 to pee. Then toss and turn till 6 or 7. Get up, smoke a cigarette and if I’m lucky fall back a sleep for a bit. I awake groggy and feeling worse than when I first woke. But still I nap after waking up. It’s a vicious cycle.

I’m going to start wearing my FitBit smart watch to bed again so I can track my sleep. It lets you know how many times you wake up, how deep your sleep was, etc. and it gives you a sleep score for the night. I want to see if my sleep is truly fucked up enough to constitute medicine. The less pills I’m on the better. But sleep is important and staying up late with my thoughts is not the most pleasant experience.

At least now I have you guys to talk and write to, to pass the time.

Restlessly,

D

[messylesb]

boo ;)

GIRL GUESS WHAT

first i got a 24/25 on my quiz yAy

second is uh

Okay so two nights ago I was up until 2 am because I literally could not sleep

And then yesterday when I got home from school (it was like 6:30 pm) and I was like "oh I'll take a nap at 7:30 it won't be that bad"

I WOKE UP THE NEXT DAY 😭

Also I got my period and sobs I would like to not have a uterus

Anyways how are you darling? Any thoughts I should know about? ;) (this is meant to be flirty ish is it working)

-🩰

OMG MY LOVE I ABSOLUTELY FORGOT TO ANSWER THIS 😭😭😭😭 actually that's wrong, i read it, thought about the answer and when thinking back i actually thought i had answered you. I'm so sorry 😭😩

CONGRATS ON YOUR QUIZ!!!!!!!! truly, you're sooo smart, sweetheart!!

also lol not you sleeping hard QODKEKDK you were probably so tired 🥺 I'm glad you got to rest though! i hope period didn't make you feel too bad, unfortunately I'm not there to help with those pains 😞

I'm doing okay! this week was super tiring because of a project on Tuesday but it's FINALLY done, and i slept a lot form yesterday to today, so I'm not as tired as i could be. but I've been feeling bad for not being able to exercise these days, bc of the obligations i end up being too tired and just need to rest. but i hope i can catch on this week.

well, I've been thinking some interesting things... but mostly they involve eating someone out. be it while laying/kneeling down between their legs, or having someone sitting on my face... (it is working, don't be afraid to ask more - and to tell me any of your thoughts too! 😉)

[jesslazerbeam]

Today has been an absolute shit show of a day.

Woke up with stomach cramps but had to get ready and take my kids to different places before my doctors appointment at 8:30 am.

The appointment was so we could go over my heart monitor results. I do have some sinus tachycardia and I had an episode where my heart rate got down to the low 40’s. My doctor did not want to put me on any meds for my tachycardia because it can cause more low heart rates and lower my blood pressure as well, which tends to be on the low side anyway.

He’s referring me to a cardiologist, so no answers there yet.

Got coffee at the place attached to the doctors office and ordered my latte with oat milk instead of regular milk because I recently discovered that I’m lactose intolerant. Said oat milk latte tasted like hairspray.

Then on the way to work I was sitting at the red light to turn into my store when my stomach started to hurt again. I thought it might be gas but instead I LITERALLY shit my pants.

Called my manager and she helped me get inside and to the bathroom to clean myself and I had to not only stay at work to make up hours from having to stay home with my kids on Tuesday, I also had to buy new pants.

The internet at work has been down since Hurricane Helene and we found out that it will be at least 2 weeks before it’s back. I can’t do my job without it. Then we had 8 pallets of clothes delivered to us and no way to receive it into our inventory system.

Couldn’t take a lunch break because I came in an hour late due to my doctor’s appointment.

After work I had to go pick up my kids from their dad’s house because he still hasn’t gotten power back. Decided to stop and grab McDonald’s for us so I didn’t have to cook. Got home, got my 3 year old out of his car seat and leaned over to grab our drinks.

At that exact moment, he decided to close the car door… directly on my head. The corner of the door slammed directly into my temple. I cried. It hurt SO bad. I didn’t even cry when I broke my arm 3 years ago. It’s now swollen and I have a monster headache.

To top it off, a little while ago my oldest knocked over a drink while he was trying to put his tablet on the charger. That drink went all over my vape battery charger, an issue of Metal Hammer Magazine with Sleep Token on the cover, and my prized Take Me Back To Eden record.

I am so so so done with today.

[diariesofapisces]

Hell Week Anniversary.

You know how I look to reflect on Shit and today I would like to go back to I would say the darkest time of my freshman year. It all started on February 15th when I finally got a preroll and a battery for my cart. This meant that I finally could smoke weed as much as I wanted. I felt so manic and I literally took a million videos and photos about it. After I got that battery I went insane and greened out really bad hours after I got it. I woke up the next day on the 16th and forgot how much I smoked the night before. I did a wake-and-bake before even eating with very little sleep the night before. Of course, we all know that I greened out again but this time in the line to Starbucks. I literally could not stand and I had to sit down for about 10 min. I stumbled back to my dorm without my Starbucks and I had to miss class because I was so weak and high. When I filmed a video describing the event I looked pale and so weak. As I said in my videos I smoked in the evening because I had nothing better to do. The 17th wasn't very eventful because of a horrible work shift but I knew that Spencer was going to flake out on smoking with me which stressed me out. Also, I was upset because I was supposed to go to Tucson for Shelby and Morgans's birthday party but my mom couldn't get me down there. I was super upset about this and got a joint just to smoke with Spencer. The next day, the 18th, was tragic. I thought the last time I smoked with Spencer was bad. I texted him at like 2 to see if we still had plans and he didn't respond till 6:30 that he couldn't hang out. I spent the whole day stressed about whether he was going to cancel or not and I couldn't do anything more with my time than smoke and make ranting videos. That night I said I was done with him. Spoiler I wasn't. After that day I started keeping count of how many days I had no contact with him, I made it to 4 days. On the 21st I made a tik tok depicting just how I felt, it's super fucking depressing. From then until the 23rd I was keeping the delusion that he was going to miss me and reach out in my mind, and also the one where I could go without him. The 23rd is a day I will never forget. Let me paint the picture. Spencer had invited us to go see this stupid comedian and I didn't go becuase I didn't want to waste my money. However, I did decide to hang out with them after the show ended so at 11. I didn't really want to go but I was desperate to see him and to B do something with my time. So of course I make tiktoks to pass the time and I go. And guess what happened. I was triggered by the fact then he didn't really pay attention to me and she left me to go hang out with his other friends. After he left shit hit the fan. That really fucking triggered me so I decided it would be fun to take 10 shots of the shittiest vodaka ever. I encouraged everyone to give each other hickeys and make out and stuff which led to three of my friends having a threesome. I and Gib were sitting outside the room that was happening and I was complaining about Spencer. After that, I impulsively offered up my joint and we all went outside to smoke that. After that, Gib went home becuase it was 2:30 in the morning but me and three other girls decided to keep going. During the next two hours, we all decided to drink more and make out. I decided to go for a girl I didn't know as well because there was no way I was gonna do anything with Shi or Larissa. So on the 24th, I ended up having a semi-orgy with my friends and I ate out with that girl. It was funny becuase I was doing great until I rolled over and passed out. I was still helping tho. Then after a bit, I crawled to the bathroom threw up, and passed out again. At five am I stumbled back to my room and took a nap. I woke up on the 24th and in the afternoon Spencer took me to Joan's. The night before I asked him to take me and he reluctantly agreed. I ended up having to pay him 20$ to take me to my disappointment we didn't hang out after. He just said she you around and let me know if you want to smoke.

[acesgroupchat]

so not to give unsolicited medical advice to a total stranger but.... this is me and I have recently found an honest to god life-restructuring solution.

I'm in my 30s and have had circadian rhythm problems literally since I was an infant (traumatized my poor mother lmao). I had long accepted it was un-fixable, but was hoping to fix the random insomnia/persistant false awakenings/sleep paralysis that comes with it, and a family friend recently moved from pulmonology into sleep medicine so I gave her a call.

Her advice: if you can, it's easier and better to adjust your lifestyle than to try to fix your rhythim. You can force yourself to wake up earlier but it will never feel natural. So accept going to bed at 2AM and stabilize there to fix the other problems. To help stabilize, try taking a microdose of melatonin (300 mcg) four hours before your usual bedtime.

I had tried melatonin before and it 1. gave me weird dreams 2. did not do ANYTHING for my sleep schedule, but it turns out most melatonin pills have WAY too much melatonin. So they become sedatives instead of hormones or something. I don't know. I'm not that kind of doctor.

So I ordered microdose melatonin. Had to do it online because none of the pharmacies around me stocked anything less than 1mg. Even the BABY melatonin was 1mg. I am taking 1/3 of a baby melatonin. (who is giving their baby melatonin??)

I then proceeded to do... not what my friend doctor recommended, and took my pill at 8:30PM because I was curious. And went about my evening and then it was midnight and I was... sleepy???? I went to bed??? I slept all night??? I WOKE UP BEFORE MY ALARM????

The past two months have been a baffling experience in sleeping like other people, and squinting suspiciously at myself. Like who even am I if I don't have sleep problems. Anyway, might not work for anyone else, but the pills were $6 for this thing that I really really thought was unfixable.

TLDR: try a 300 MCG (this is TINY. This is less than baby melatonin) melatonin pill four hours before you want to go to bed. Might not work for you but quite literally restructured my life

(the other thing my sleep doctor friend said is that late sleepers are also statistically WAY more likely to be LONG sleepers. If you have "delayed sleep phase syndrome," as it's called, you're probably ALSO someone who needs 9 hours, rather than 7 or 8 like the early birds might. You know... just to make it suck EVEN MORE when we have to short change our sleep to go to work/school)

Bedtime Wizard it takes me a good 2 hours to fall asleep every night with like, every bit of sleep self care stuff I can think of. I just don't naturally get sleepy till 2 am, even if I'm up for a 5 am shift and obviously that's not really sustainable.

What can I do to make myself sleepier? I've tired... Black out curtains, no electronics before bed, silence, white noise, curtains, extreme cold, melatonin, meditation, yoga, working out before bed or in the morning, breathing exercises, no white / blue light at all 2 hours before bed only doing dishes by candle light.

I still can't get to bed before midnight at the earliest and everyone just says try harder. How do you sleep? It's been decades of this and I'm so fucking tired and can't find a job that starts later so I can sleep in.

….my heart bleeds for you, friend. You’re doing everything you can. But there’s legitimate science that some people are just built on different circadian rhythms.

Our bodies have a sense of what times they’d like to be asleep or awake and morning people fucked over all the late sleepers by building the world around their schedule while leaving no room for others.

I’ve seen posts going around that address it but if you can try to get your schedule to where you don’t have to wake up so early it’s your best bet, I’m sorry.

[little-yla]

: : the right person ☆

————————————————————————

genre: fluff

warnings: nothing exc for a bit of cursing

word count: 963

a/n: my first time writing so please dont judge😭😭💔 if u liked this story, feel free to request more!! 🫂🫂 ( jeonghan is such a green flag )

this is part 1, part 2 is coming soon

You were paired up with Jeonghan for a math project, you didn't know much about him except for the fact that he was popular amongst the girls in school. He showed absolutely no interest in the girls, they thought he was into men because of that reason. Despite being absolutely gorgeous, you had no interest in him. You never saw what he had, you thought he was just a regular boy. Not until you were paired up together. That feeling ended quickly as soon as you interacted with him more. You finally understood everyone, but you had to clear your mind.

"Y/n, pair up with Jeonghan." your teacher says. You gasp as you saw your classmates glancing at you, they looked like they were about to chase you like a dog. You slowly walk to his table to have a chat about the project, being scared because of all the stares but you then get to his table. "You scared, huh?" Jeonghan asked, he could tell by your awkward face. You answered, "Well, you could say that, I guess." while giggling a little. He laughed at you, but he understood why. He gave you his number to ask for help, even for things other than the project.

You both discuss the project, and you catch yourself smiling the whole time while chatting with him. Were you developing feelings for him? But then the bell rings, it is time for you to go home. As soon as you got home, you had the urge to text him, but you noticed that he had texted you first.

jeonghan: hey, do u wanna meet up at the cafe near the town's library tmr?? so we can work and have little chats, it was fun

y/n: oh yeah suree, what time?

jeonghan: does 2pm sound good 2 u?

y/n: yep

jeonghan: alright c u tmr <33

Did he just give you a heart? Your heart was pounding so fast texting him, you figured it was because he was the first ever boy from school you texted. Well, you were wrong about that.

The next day, you woke up at 11:24 am. Your alarm was ringing so loud, but you quickly woke up as you remembered about the important meet-up. You greeted your cat, Toro, and got some milk from the fridge. You had some breakfast and took a shower, thinking about him every single second. Opening the closet was a bad choice, you did not think about what outfit you would wear, and you panicked so hard. It was 12:48 pm, you had 1 hour and 12 more minutes left, you couldn't possibly finish that fast. You chose to wear a cute dress with the cardigan your mom bought, and did your makeup a little faster than usual.

You drove to the cafe and saw him waiting for you, he waved as you saw him. "When did you arrive?" you asked, he had arrived at 1:30 pm. You apologized for being a little late. He replied, "It's fine, I wouldn't mind waiting longer for you." He surely was a sweetheart, a literal woman's dream. After discussing the project and finishing it, you guys decided to spend more time together. Were you really hanging out with the most popular boy?

You went to play games with him and found out he also played Valorant. He was happy he could find someone with the same interests as him. You found out he liked Bossa Nova and never dated once. "If you never dated anyone, then why don't you try dating someone that likes you?" you asked. He replied, "Well I'm waiting to find the right person for me, someone that likes me for me, not my looks." That got you interested in him, you wanted to find out more about him. After a long time of hanging out, you both went home.

jeonghan: heyy, i had fun w u today :)) lets hang out more

y/n: I AGREEEE, we should also vc and play valorant if u can

jeonghan: agreed, wanna hang out after school next week?

y/n: tuesday?

jeonghan: tuesday.

Wow, was he trying to test you? You had bad experiences with boys before meeting him, and you were hoping he wasn't like them. All I can say is that, I like him. You caught feelings for him, shocking. You had the urge to text him and call him. It felt too risky, you didn't want to seem obsessed. And again, he likes someone who likes him for him, not someone who craves looks.

A notification pops up, who is it from?

jeonghan: hey, wanna vc?? sorry if im asking u so late at night :(

y/n: nahh nw, lets call?

jeonghan: YAY

Your ringtone starts playing, seeing his name on the phone made your heart beat 10 times faster. Why was it easier to talk to him in real life? I can't even talk to him over the phone. You picked up the phone and heard his deep voice. "Sorry about my voice, I'm really tired right now." Jeonghan claimed. You replied, "Then why did you want to call me? You should go rest." He didn't want to rest, he wanted to call you and hear your voice.

You spent a few hours talking to eachother and playing games, hearing him curse for the first time. "Ohh, we're fucked. WAIT, I'M SORRY," Jeonghan panics, "You didn't hear that." You didn't mind, you revealed that you also cursed a lot. He was relieved, I'm guessing he has a curse buddy. Afterwards, you both decided to stop video calling and texted eachother instead.

jeonghan: thank u for today☹️☹️ i enjoyed it a lot

y/n: heyy dont worry ab it, u made today fun 😆☝

jeonghan: lets do this more, i dont need to stop my cursing for once

y/n: YKW ME TOO, everyone around me js hates the idea of cursing

jeonghan: well i get why, anyway see uuuu tmrr. sleep well and goodnight

y/n: gooodd night <33

[sad-boy-mono]

Ima be whiny and rant about my morning getting ready for a roadtrip. Idc if I sound like a whiny bitch IM FEELING LIKE A WHINY BITCH SO

My mom said we'd start packing up the car around 10 (to quote her directly, she wanted to "haul ass at 10") but she didn't even get home from a doctor's appointment until 10:30.

I woke up at 9 anticipating we'd be hauling ass at 10 (I've been waking up at 1pm everyday for the past 2 weeks) and went to bed at 4 (not by choice) so I could've gotten at least a bit more sleep.

I'm already overstimulated cuz I'm tired and now more so cuz we're off the given schedule.

So much time just getting shit into the car.

A CD I got in May is stuck in my dad's car. My dad's car recently was taken into the shop for some repairs. My mom said she brought up my stuck CD. Is my CD unstuck? Nope!

(Also secondary rant but this CD being stuck has caused me so much more stress than it should. It was $12 so not a huge financial loss but it's also my favorite album and the CD is sold out. My family doesn't have a good way to listen to music from phones in our car cuz we don't have Bluetooth and auxcords always end up hella staticy so we use CDs and I was so excited to finally have some new music in the car but I got to listen to it once before it got stuck and won't even play music because my mom messed with it trying to get it out. And then there's the added feeling of when you're upset about something that isn't a big deal and you KNOW it isn't a big deal so you feel dumb about getting so worked up about it because it's just a fucking CD and you could probably figure out a way to download the album and burn a new one but you bought this one from an artist you love and want to support so now you just feel dumb and stupid and wanna cry everytime you think about it and WHY DIDNT THE REPAIR PEOPLE GET IT OUT DID MY MOM LIE ABOUT TELLING THEM? IM SO PISSED. SECONDARY RANT OVER)

I have much less space then I thought I would in the car.

I remembered I'd have to spend a lot of time around my cousins (not necessarily a bad thing. But my social battery is a constant 0%. Also I came out to my uncle as trans a while back and he reacted badly and I really don't wanna be around him :/)

We're on the road and I forgot how loud and bumpy highways are in this shit stain of a country (#americacore)

Also my mom smokes. The smell + open window being loud is not helping.

Did I mention the roads suck? Because the roads suck.

I'm crammed in the back and everytime we make a turn I'm crushed by my aunt's wheelchair.

I love my family so much like genuinely, but being around them is hard cuz they're always up here 📈 all the time and I'm always down here 📉 all the time so being around them is hard due to how our energies don't align for lack of a better term.

Did I mention the roads suck? Cause the roads really fucking suck-

I didn't eat this morning and am hunger. I cannot reach any of the food/snacks we packed

I spent like 30 minutes fighting back a meltdown low-key.

Having boobs is actually such an icky feeling? Like not binding was a good choice but when roads are as bumpy as there are here maybe I should've just worn a binder?

HAVE I MENTIONED THESE FUCKING ROADS-

I don't have the money for Spotify premium (#brokecore)

Also I packed my laptop and every moment it isn't in my sight I fear it is being destroyed viciously (it is literally at the top of the bag pile and surrounded by clothing)

Did my hair this morning and it just like. Wasnt working with me :/

HOW DO ROADS MANAGE TO BE SO FUCKING LOUD WHAT THE FUCK-

Anyways I'm excited for this weekend :]. I'm going to a powwow in my extended family's town and supposedly it's gonna be hella big. We're staying in an AirBnB and it has a lake n shit so we can go swimming n shit. I might have my own room? Idk tho if not I'll live. I got my headphones.