#help i'm trapped...

[book--brackets]

Summaries under the cut

Tales from the Wyrd Museum by Robin Jarvis

In a grimy alley in the East End of London stands the Wyrd Museum, cared for by the stranger Webster sisters -- and scene of even stranger events. Wandering through the museum, Neil Chapman, son of the new caretaker, discovers it is a sinister place crammed with secrets both dark and deadly. Forced to journey back to the past, he finds himself pitted against an ancient and terrifying evil, something which is growing stronger as it feeds on the destruction around it.

Cobble Street Cousins by Cynthia Voigt

Meet the Cobble Street Cousins!

Lily, who wants to be a poet Tess, who wants to be a Broadway star Rosie, who wants a little cottage with flowers by the door

Right now, though, the cousins are sharing an attic bedroom in their Aunt Lucy?s light blue house on Cobble Street, and happily making plans for the summer. A cookie company seems the perfect way to make a little money, but it turns out to be much more -- an opportunity to meet some very special neighbors!

The Tiara Club by Vivian French and Sarah Gibb

On the first day at the Princess Academy, everything goes wrong. The girls' ball gowns are ruined. What will Princess Charlotte and her friends do without their beautiful gowns?

Help I'm Trapped... by Todd Strasser

Jake Sherman used to be your average, ordinary twelve year old, until he became a completely different person. Tall, skinny, balding, nerdy. . .OH NO! Jake's turned into his weirdo teacher, Mr. Dirksen!

It's bad enough that Jake's an adult now, but a teacher? The geekiest, most made-fun-of teacher in the whole school? Jake's sister Jessica is the only person who'll believe him--and even she's a little suspicious.

Jake and Jessica better find a way to get things back to normal fast--not only because Jake's going crazy, but also because dorky Mr. Dirksen is running around in Jake's body! The nightmare is only beginning!

The Incredible Worlds of Wally McDoogle by Bill Myers

Twelve-year-old Wally, a computer whiz who is a "walking disaster area," ends up in a competition with the bully of Camp Whacka-Whacka, and when they find themselves fighting for their lives, Wally realizes that even his worst enemy needs God.

Silly Verse for Kids by Spike Mulligan

Silly Verse for Kids - a hilarious collection of silly poems by Spike Milligan! A collection of the absurd, ridiculous, sublime and characteristically anarchic verse from the brilliant Spike Milligan. With his very own illustrations, this collection, which includes the famous On the Ning Nang Nong will make you laugh from the bottom of your belly - just like Spike did.

Minoan Wings by Wendy Orr

The little girl found under a bush has no name and cannot speak. Is she a miracle child who escaped the raiders, or is she a bad-luck child, the one who called the Bull King's ship to the island? No one sees the mama-stone around her neck, with the sign of the dragonfly. And only Luki, in training to leap the bulls, knows that she charmed the viper who would have killed him. When the girl turns twelve, she discovers her name - Aissa - and she knows that her one chance to live freely is to become a bull dancer, and be taken away to the island of the Bull King.

Candy Fairies by Helen Perelman

In Chocolate Dreams , Cocoa the Chocolate Fairy is blamed for the missing chocolate eggs—but really it’s the sour troll Mogu who stole them! Can Cocoa save the chocolate eggs and restore the balance of Sugar Valley?

Little Old Mrs. Pepperpot by Alf Proysen

Waking up one morning to find you've shrunk to the size of a tiny pepperpot isn't an ordinary, everyday event for most people - but then Mrs Pepperpot is a very extraordinary person! When she's around little things can turn into great big adventures - especially when they involve getting stuck in a draw full of macaroni. . .

The Doll Shop Downstairs by Yona Zeldis McDonough

Nine-year-old Anna and her sisters love to play with the dolls in their parents' doll repair shop. But when World War I begins, an embargo on German-made goods-including the parts Papa needs to repair the dolls-threatens to put the family's shop out of business. Fortunately, Anna has an idea that just might save the day.

[twistcmyk]

*person in the ‘70s voice* Big Bear Babes

[themortaldraw]

like 50% of skyward sword is link tolerating other people on his mission to save zelda

[miscellaneousrenaissant]

My baseless headcanon is that Chilchuck is colorblind

[micahdotgov]

men will say they know a place and take you here

[raycatz]

Some dungeon predictions (and things I'd just like to see xD ) for the upcoming arc!

(inspired by boards I've seen in the past. like this! Art from @/linkeduniverse!)

I love Zelda dungeons and LU dungeon crawling fics are some of my favorites! I'm so excited to see what puzzles Jojo's come up with! Nine person puzzles? Let's goOOO!!! There's so many possible interesting things to do with the chain's items and abilities.

[dippin-dott]

Some danganronpa cat doodles! Gonna do more of these but just started out with mine and my wife's faves~

[3lkin]

What now? You say they left the desert over 3 years ago? What do you mean? They're right here, scheming away.

[shiftythrifting]

Submission from @yokimon

[canisalbus]

As a longtime (2015ish) follower of yours, its been fun watching you become... more tender? toward Machete. back in the day it was angst angst angst, and i loved it! but you cant know darkness without light and vice verse. Youve been a massive inspiration the whole time btw. Its nice to see not-anthro!Machete again too

.

[sightkeeper]

Hey you! Have you read a fic recently? Reblogged some art? Take a minute to go leave a comment on it if you haven't already! Kudos and reblogs are wonderful, but take an extra minute to make someone's day with some kind words!

[shabbyshoebox]

Texting in theory: communication with friends! So fun! Memes! Talk talk talk! ❤️✨

Texting in practice: Oh god I don't have the energy to reply right now, I'm currently in Task Mode not Talk Mode so there is currently no battery allocated for socializing atm. Oh it's been too long, do they think I hate them? If I reply will I have to stay engaged in conversation for a few seconds? Half an hour? How long will this conversation be? When is it okay to step away and do something else? Will they think I hate them if I go too long without responding again? I don't hate them, I love them, I need to figure out how to do this. What tone did they intend this in? How do I ask what tone they meant without coming across as rude? How can I respond in a way that cannot possibly be construed as passive aggressive/rude/dismissive? I want to stay engaged with the task I'm doing, I don't want to go back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. I really really enjoy it when I'm in the right "Mode" but each notification feels like an obligation. Why does this feel like a chore? I like talking to my friends, why doesn't it feel like talking to my friends? Why do I feel trapped? Why do I avoid people I love? Oftentimes I'm not even "doing" anything when I don't respond, I'm just in "non social" mode. Even if I know I'll enjoy talking once I get started every unopened message feels like a burden. I shouldn't see texts from people I love this way, I should be happy, they want to talk to me and they love me. Why can't I just be normal about this, why can't I stop avoiding every damn thing?

[thecultoflove]

coffin design... coffin..... pleas...e

here (: click for better quality ahhghghghg umm.. wrapping the designs up slowly!! i've put so many together shocked how committed i am to this story

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - Part 07

PREVIOUS

The thing about Nicky knowing that FF knows Russian and therefore understands every single excruciatingly sweet, ear-reddingly spicy, or shockingly mundane thing that Andrew and Neil say to one another is that he is objectively the 3rd worst person to know this secret.

First place is, of course, Andrew Minyard the man who has now asked him about his family 3 times in the last week and a half. FF doesn’t really care if Andrew goes after the majority of his ‘family’ since it’s just his step brothers and step dad but Andrew might go after his Grandma too so he just says “We don’t talk” every time it comes up and deletes his entire chat history with his grandma that way Andrew won’t know how close they are. If that means that Andrew thinks that no one would look for him if he happened to disappear into a shallow grave FF doesn’t know. He’s already doomed so the least he can do is save his gran.

Second place is, of course, Captain Neil. Captain has mentioned quite a few times that a lot of people stay with friends or people they’re close with over Thanksgiving break. It’s meaner than Captain Neil usually would be off of the Court reminding FF that he has friends but none close enough who would want to spend a holiday with him. He plans to go see his Gran for Thanksgiving and she plans to feed him a truly ridiculous amount of food. It’s the same plan he’s had pretty much every year since he was 13.

Third place is Nicky Hemmick. Nicky is a very nice guy who got him a paperboy to hyperventilate into a couple times and would absolutely never intentionally OUT somebody and compromise their safety! Nicky’s talked with FF about some of his background so FF has full confidence that it’s never going to be something that Nicky intentionally outs to anyone. But there are two main reasons why Nicky is the third worst person to find out about this secret.

The first reason is that Nicky Hemmick just unabashedly loves gossip. FF has heard that with the graduation of the girls the previous year had gone Allison Reynolds who had multiple running bets on multiple teammates and a whole cache of gossip. Now Nicky has access to the ultimate accidental gossip magnet in the man who no one notices, who knows any language the Foxes speak and is too awkward to get up and leave when they start talking.

Nicky will never tell another soul his secret but he also HAS to know what Neil and Andrew are saying to one another and when Nicky lies to cover for him the charge is one free conversation translation.

He’s absolutely hooked on getting translations the since the first time he had asked what Andrew and Neil are hissing at one another one morning practice.

FF translated it awkwardly feeling like a creep and like he’s invading their privacy but Nicky had helped him eat the four slavic letter flashcards he had made up to help a friend study the language when Captain Neil and Andrew had come back early from a weekend alone in Columbia.

Nicky had even assured him afterwards that the ink was probably non-toxic and given him floss so he could get the flashcard wedged between his molars out.

So….

“Andrew’s mad that Captain Neil skipped breakfast because they’re working to make him eat something for every meal. Captain Neil’s mad because Andrew’s the one that kept him in bed so long that he didn’t have time to make anything.”

Nicky squeals in delight

The second reason, which is just compounded by the first, is the fact that Nicky had promised not to tell another Soul. However Nicky Hemmick, the romantic that he is, believes that he and his Fiancé Erik share one soul since they are soulmates. Therefore Nicky Hemmic had barely even registered FF’s tears of gratitude before he was calling Erik to tell him about FF.

The sheer number of close calls that have happened because Nicky HAS to tell Erik about something Andrew and Neil said to one another or something someone else is saying is the reason FF started getting ulcers.

Watching Nicky talk to Erik about him knowing Russian is like watching a member of the three stooges walk through a construction site blindfolded. FF nearly kills himself stopping Nicky from outing him numerous times and at the end Nicky’s smiling, unscathed and unaware of the sheer number of close calls he had sauntered through.

FF can’t wait to go home and bury his face in his grandma’s lap, stress eat two apple pies, and tell her about how he thinks he might just become an electrician or a plumber or an underwater welder because one of his language professors wants him to come and speak to a lower level class (a gen-ed with over a hundred people in it) about the usefulness of LATIN for all their majors since they can parse the meaning via root word and he had panicked and said ’Sure’.

***

The thing about being the only person on the team that knows that FF speaks Russian and is riddled with social anxiety is that it’s absolutely hilarious most of the time.

Every once in a while he has to step in to help the guy.

So sometimes he’ll eat flashcards. Sometimes he’ll distract his cousin with a salacious comment so FF can escape a dangerous conversation with his drunk friend. Sometimes he pushes FF to go talk to Abby about his tummy troubles. Sometimes he’ll hand over one of the brown paper bags he keeps in his backpack nowadays so FF can wheeze into it and sometimes he’ll assure his cousin that FF’s passing out after he offered to teach him how to use a knife was probably because of his stomach ulcers not because FF is terrified of Andrew stabbing him.

Nicky is the only member of the Foxes that FF regularly seeks out on his own to hang out with and Nicky just loves how hard Andrew and Neil are trying not to be jealous about it.

“I want to ask Smith if he wants to come spend Thanksgiving Break with us.” Andrew says out of the blue a week before the aforementioned break when it’s just Aaron, Neil, Nicky and himself in Nicky’s dorm room.

Nicky thinks about FF talking about going back to his hometown in Washington State and how he waxed poetic about spending Thanksgiving Break with his Grandma and how he was going to eat his weight in pie and Macaroni and Cheese.

“He’s planning on going and seeing his grandma. He won’t shut up about it.” Nicky says still glad that FF has a family member like his grandma.

Everyone else in the room look at him.

“He won’t shut up about it?” Aaron asks with an eyebrow raised. Aaron likes FF just fine and appreciates how FF has helped Katelyn start to grasp the fundamentals of the German language so quickly so she can understand what’s being said. “So what he said it twice?” He continues.

Nicky remembers FF’s ability for catastrophizing every conversation with the Foxes into one where it comes out that he speaks Russian and Andrew stabs him. As far as the other Foxes are concerned he’s a man of few words.

“He’s been talking about it all month. If I hear about his grandma’s apple pie recipe one more time I might demand he sneak a slice back for me through TSA.” Nicky loves stoking the flames, especially when the fire is harmless. He watches Aaron shrug and the skin around both Neil and Andrew’s mouths tightens. “You can ask him, the worst he can say is No.” Nicky shrugs.

Nicky is there when Andrew does ask him and he can see the prolonged internal scream of terror on the utterly blank face (or maybe he just imagines it.) and in a way Nicky is a little sad when FF shakes his head and says “No, I have plans with my Grandma.” In an utterly blank voice that means he has functionally blue-screened before turning and walking towards the nearest door so he can reboot in solitude.

“The offer stands if you change your mind.” Neil says and Nicky is impressed with the seemingly very casual thumbs up FF gives as he power walks away.

A little less than a week later Nicky finds Andrew next to FF and FF looking down at a cancelled flight notification after coming in from a truly monumental storm.

Andrew offers Thanksgiving in Columbia again.

Nicky tries to stop it from happening he can see that FF is a little lost in his disappointment over not being able to see his grandma and not thinking clearly but before he can snap him out of it.

“Sure.”

NEXT

Per your requests:

@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242

[epiphenomenal]

friend!!!! if you are so kind to be taking prompts, either matoba and natori engaging in funny power couple mean girls behavior at an exorcist gathering, OR something to do with matoba and natori and the prompt of 'protection' in some way. or if you want a silly prompt, both of them flirting (badly) and nanase-san is just there like 'really? right in front of my salad??'

hello!! i've never watched mean girls (sorry!!), but re: protection --

so idk how fandom took this volume 29 scene where nyanko-sensei asks about the charm on the back of natori's neck, and natori says it's just for insurance (whiiiich does sound ominous rather than implying protection, whoops, and the kanji means to cut or to end...)

but anyway my reaction was "wait… so who helped to write that………" and my answer is: matoba

[thegraveyardsh1ft]

So I was wondering... can we, like, macabre mart-ify/graveyard shift-ify other horror protags? Because I've been getting back into older and newer horror games, and I now have the temptation to slap a nametag on their protags and send them to retail hell.

That is...

...a 𝒲ℴ𝓃𝒹ℯ𝓇𝒻𝓊𝓁 idea~!!

Why didn't I think of taking advantage of these s 𝙾̰𝚞̰𝚝̰𝚜̰𝚘̰𝚞̰𝚛̰𝚌̰𝚒̰𝚗̰𝚐̰ 𝚏̰𝚘̰𝚛̰ 𝚗̰𝚎̰𝚠̰ 𝚎̰𝚖̰𝚙̰𝚕̰𝚘̰𝚢̰𝚎̰𝚎̰𝚜̰~???

This world really provides amazing suggestions from such lovely customers~

Well, you got 🅼Ⓡ. 🅼Ⓐ🅲Ⓐ🅱Ⓡ🅴's approval~ Feel free to share your little employee suggestions! Maybe they'll show up in 𝓜𝓪𝓬𝓪𝓫𝓻𝓮 𝓜𝓪𝓻𝓽 someday~

...

ᴵ ᴶᵁˢᵀ ᴴᴬⱽᴱ ᴼᴺᴱ ᵀᴱᴱᴺʸ ᵀᴵᴺʸ ᴿᴱᵠᵁᴱˢᵀ...

T̫͒̀̎͌̅h̷̉͘e͑̚_̷̗̄y̧̛͍̘ͬ͞ c͇ͯ͢͝a̴͉͙͌̒̅̿n̤̳̎̀̾̌ń̷̵̔ō̴̢̝̣͔̿ț i͓̍̄͟nt͓̆͐̚ͅȩ͚͂̂́r̘͍ͣͭ̊ͯf̰̝ͦ́ͥͤ̅e̡̨̮͇r͙̀e͚̰̥̽̾ w̿iͩ͞t̴̠̍͐̕h̷ ẇ̎͢͡_̈́ͯhͮa̺̥̤̮̾ͧt̹ I̻͒͡ͅ ha͍̬ͮv̄ͮe̙͉̒̎͒͠ p̺͌l̞̼̼͉ͦͅa̭̗̦͜n̶͖͑̓ṋ͚ͬ̆̕ę̴̶̤͐̌̑d̋͒_͖͓͠ f̗ͥ̎o̙ͅr͙̖̼͖ͩ̀ t̷hȯ̼͂s̶̯̻͂̀̀̉ẻ_̧͉̎̔̕ b̷̺̉o̡͖̳ͦ̄y̺̲̣͇̐ŝ̛ͭ̇̉͑.̘̘ͣ̑.͟.̻͚͈̩̅̾̕

(see details down below)