#help i can see it tho
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can I be so honest... I thought your dash icon was of the monster high skull bc I have bad eyesight
dw anon i got you covered
#━━ ❛ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 : inbox.#help i can see it tho#sjdfkhJFKHSJFKSHFDJK#aphelios and alunes your monster high skulette
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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silly comic based on a time i struggled to read live on stream :thumbsup:
context clip compilation below ASDASDFASA
(cw for brief mention of hospitals/strokes)
#in stars and time#isat#isat odile#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#<- not big ones but the convo this stems from occurs on 3rd floor before king act 2 so#cw hospital#cw stroke#<- brief stroke talk in the clip thats why#odile i am so sorry for making u deal with the fact that i cant read#or just input words?? where there arent any??? i dont know why i do that????#these streams have made me realize i sometimes just autofill words when reading SAFADDA#also random side headcanon i was thinking of while drawing this#is odile speaks alot with her hands?#idk why i just think its fun?#and kinda makes sense as someone who has travelled a lot thru different countries?#personal observation but you can convey/tell a lot without knowing a much of a different language via body language#as someone who grew up with family who spoke a different language that i do not speak LMAO#especially hands!! those say a lot!!#reading body langauge/tone helped me a lot when guessing if what was being talked about a good thing or not#tho tone to a lesser extent since uh it can be hard to tell at times i think ASDFDA#so it makes sense to me???#the art of pointing in general location is a universal skill i think?? yea#to a lesser extent i think siffrin might do this? but more subdued/under the cloak so#the cloak ends up getting in the way 90% of the time so no one can actually see that lmao#okay tag talk over#no stream time today because weather boooooo storms
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I hope u guys don't mind me posting these au doodles while I work on things ahaha
I also gave JD slightly longer hair in these doodles as a funny haha but I don't think it's funny anymore he looks genuinely good with his hair like that ahahaha I hope you're not mad at me for changing his au design a bit
#first of all ahem DONT TAG THIS AS SHIP OR WHATEVER!!! ILL THROW ROCKS AT YOU!!!!! BITCH!!!!!!!#troIlcest (or whatever you call yourselves idk) DONT TOUCH my SHIT! Ty :] anyways...#For context I like to hc that when he was younger Bruce would always have JD brush his hair#and like... whenever lil Bruce was upset it would help calm him down i think ahhauysgjiodk do u guys see the vision??#and since it's my au i can make reality whatever i want it to be sooooo :]#I like to imagine that it still helps Bruce calm down even tho they're older now.. Big bro brushing his lil bros hair to soothe him UUGH#Let JD be a good older brother pleeease#also gave JD flowers in his hair too bc he deserves them me thinks... Now him and Bruce are matching!!!#i dont have any specific flowers in mind for the ones in their hair i just picked a color for the flowers that looked pretty and ran with i#also saying it again i love love LOOOOVE the crayon tool in mspaint using it to make gradients is so!!!! UUUGHUHHH!!!! /pos#the pattern on JD's jacket fur will never be consistent shhhhh#trolls#trolls band together#john dory trolls#trolls john dory#bruce trolls#trolls bruce#beach bros au#cherris canvas#I made that last image btw#everytime i saw that screenshot of jd it made me think of the spongebob scene where its a pov of flats waking up#and the first thing he sees is spongebob waiting for him with flowers in his hand and smiling
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going to look at houses with one of the boys because yall need a bigger one with more rooms now that ale and rudy have officially joined the polycule and the agent is really working the kids angle for "you and your... husband?" and ofc it's johnny who goes with you and he's feeding into it by only referring to them as "the boys" that by the time you've settled on a house and you get the agent to do one last viewing so they can all come see, her head fucking explodes first when she sees "the boys" and again after they all take their turns giving you and johnny your initial smooches, and the smile on johnny's face tells you this couldn't have played out as perfectly even in his dreams
#poly boys#it's honestly really cute that johnny considers it this secret little tool in his arsenal#because he never thought he'd be lucky enough to have a single partner to actually see him and love him. and to have this many???#man is fucking overjoyed#he's going to keep getting as much fun out of it as he can#and even tho yall grumble about his shenanigans you can't help but love how happy he is about it all#johnny's out here like “oh no this won't do this room will be too far for simon he'll want to be closer”#and the agent is like “oh is he your youngest? it's always so hard to get them to sleep in their own rooms at first”#johnny viciously nodding along as you picture simon in the mom i frew up pose
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A Linked Universe meets The Dark Crystal AU! I don't even remember what started it at this point. I remembered that the Dark Crystal and Age of Resistance are things I like, blinked, and woke up three days later with an AU and a bunch of art.
The designs and the story are a wip and for fun so expect a lot of variation! (I have a few different beginnings, ideas for different designs, etc)! :D
In addition to #linked universe I'll be using the tags #the dark crystal lu au and #courage of the dark crystal!
#linked universe#tdc aor#the dark crystal lu au#courage of the dark crystal#lu au au#lu legend#lu hyrule#lu four#lu wind#I've made an au of the au I've gone too far help help-#I gotta get better at drawing gelfling! Their facial structures are very distinct#ALSO I went really big with the ears here lmao#the hugest ears ever seen on gelfling#TRANS ROOLIE TRANS ROOLIE TRANS ROOLIE YIPPEE!!!!#I drew this last month (except for Four) sO HAPPY PRIDE! Roolie gets WINGS! :D#I'm SO pleased with Wind's design! he's a lil fishy! and Four with the horned headband/armor in place of the lil ups in his bangs#gonna try to put the aureyal or symbol of the conjunction and triangles on all of them#IF YOU HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT THE AU PLS ASK THEM#I'd love to tackle some worldbuilding mayhaps?!#I'm thinking of placing them somewhere before the first battle of stone-in-the-wood in the arathim wars#or after the events of the comics with Kensho and Thurma somewhere#and just figure out another reason for the crystal to be shattered. so many possibilities!#where's the crystal shard this time and how can I split it between them? >:3 niiiiine shards made whole >:3#quest for the ~~triforce~~ crystal#Hello from summer camp also! Lots of shenanigans!#I'm surprised I was able to draw Four at all last weekend I've been so busy!!!#having fun tho!!! we're having a lunch cookout at archery and campfire is tonight!!! It's going good! see ya!!!
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TOP PIYAWAT PHONGKANITANON IN EVERY YOU, EVERY ME (2024) ทุกๆ เธอที่รัก | Episode 5
#every you every me#every you every me the series#top piyawat#boyslovesource#zeystuff#gif: eyem#special thanks to linnea @gawincaskey. | auyrn @theteatimechronicles and natalie @mosbanks for helping me choose the gif <333#we collectively ignore the part where you can see still see the logo even tho I blurred it#I had to do it. I just had to. yknow. and I'm probably not the only one who feels absolutely normal
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The chaos arc should be an episode of Knuckles me thinks lmaooo
#my art#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#knuckles the echidna#tails the fox#knuckles series#<--- NOT RLLY LMAO BUT IT SHOULD BE#I think it would be so fucking funny#Chaos just shows up one day and the gang is like ?????#maybe cuz of the emerald maybe because of sonic idk#WE DID SEE A PIC OF HIM ON THAT TEMPLE THO SO???#MAYBE???#Have to use capcut to write cuz my tablet can only handle so much of my scribbles help#chaos#fav#NOO SONICS TIKTOK FOLLOWERS NOOOO
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mv2 is crazy when you think abt the implications of v1 and mirage basically almost being the same people like yeah idk. like im not saying theyre the same people but do you think that when v2 looks at mirage they catch a glimpse of their previous rival and the thrill of the battle and their eventual defeat and death. do you think that v2’s shoulder socket aches a bit more every time they look into mirage’s lens. do you think that v2 would be imagining v1 in mirage’s place for a split second when theyre in bed and mirage doesnt have her clothes on. guys uh
#mv2#mirage ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#v2 ultrakill#v4v implied#v4v#again im not dumb ik mirage and v1 arent the same#but still. still.#im actually the king of v4m4v#i dont ship v1 and mirage tho#i just dont really see how their personalities would mesh#mv2 works because v2’s personality is basically almost human#(at least thats how it is in dect)#but v1’s a straight up force of nature#thats a hard dynamic to bounce off romantically against someone like mirage lol#im sure someone out there can make it work but im not particularly interested in exploring it#instead i like to think about v1 and mirage’s connection through the lens of v2’s relationship with both#v2 works against v1 because theyre both passionate about fighting the same battle#v2 works well with mirage because she helps bring out their human side#etc#whateverrr#suggestive#for that last comment
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help me hold onto you | T | 8/13
f1driver!max and streamer!charles
The man—Charles, Max assumes—sounds French. He loves that. He should be used to a French accent, he was forced to converse with Pierre often enough, but it sounds different coming from Charles. More melodic. Almost similar to someone he used to know once. “And that made me think,” Charles says, voice bellowing from Max’s speakers. “That it was stupid that we didn't have carrots before. Like, come on, it's a farming game.” Max has no fucking idea what the hell he is on about.
or: Max is lonely and finds Charles streaming on Twitch.
based on this prompt sent to @f1prompts
#eeeee I'm rlly excited about this!!!#the prompt lived rent free in my head since the moment i saw it so i Had To#hope i can do it justice just a little :)#also for context: the songs i would add to a playlist for this fic are the archer by taylor n satellite by harry#like i said in the authors note: currently anticipating 10 chapters and one every week or so. maybe be sooner may be longer#I'm excited to get it written and posted tho so we'll see!! hence the no beta too lmao my gf said she would but i wanna post it Now#alims writes#f1 rpf#f1 rpf fic#f1 fanfiction#f1 fic#formula 1 rpf#formula 1 fanfiction#lestappen#lestappen fic#lestappen fanfic#lestappen rpf#1633#3316#fic: help me hold onto you
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found one o those aesthetic outfits on twitter and someone suggested sua in it . I could not resist
link to tweet
#alien stage#alien stage fanart#alnst#alnst sua#alien stage sua#sua alnst#idk which tags are used more for her help#art#art of crane#digital art#sketch#artists on tumblr#ily forever sua alien stage#she is so ribbon coded I see a ribbon outfit and I cannot resist putting her in it#nothing can top her round one outfit for me tho godbless#how many letters are in sua alnst#ATEEEEEE
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can i find glee on the shonen jump app
#my art#glee#glee fanart#finn hudson#santana lopez#quinn fabray#kurt hummel#brittany s pierce#brittany pierce#my favorite chars tbh#+ blaine warbler (not pictured)#can we please get a glee anime adaption#or manga adaption#brittana#fuinn#i feel like i should humbly apologize for shipping fuinn#i see 2 gorgeous ppl and i cant help myself#furt#finntana#not shipping those tho dw#i wld never go that far
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This poll inspired by a discord convo i watched happen,, somewhere,,, <- i forgor what server it was in, but i've been meaning to make this poll for a while
#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt poll#rise of the tmnt poll#rambles#hiding this in the tags to not sway results if this ends up making rounds#but i personally consider it like a weird third toe#althought sometimes i just ignore it exists if i want to put the turtles in shoes#anyways if yall could reblog this that would be cool#im genuinley curious as to what people thing this little bit is#i can see the argument for heel tho cuz the 2003 boys have something similar#i think about it more like a dewclaw that cats and dogs have#although for the turtle maybe it helps with balance?
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A lil date 🍅🍥
#sasunaru#narusasu#naruto#sasuke#this is my first time like#drawing an interior and actually put effort#i hope u guys like it#i spent SO MUCH time on this#like more than any of my other stuff and i think u can see#spent like 4 hours a day for a week#hot damn#tho this was exhausting i rly rly hope that#this can help me make more of these kinds of illustrations#bc i rly like pretty cluttered scenes#tho it is a pain to make holy heeeeck#round fox baby#naruto’s boyfriend#my art#background
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"Hoshina, I think you have a fever"
(Mina totally think it's normal thing to do bc that's what Kafka was always doing//totally headcanon)
#kn8 fanart#Meanwhile Hoshina be like ..capt you're too close#Present day Hoshinab shouldn't have much problems keeping calm tho#I just want to see caring Mina and surprised Hoshina in one pic...#and Kafka being indirectly make 3rd division what it is rn#Like how it won't surprise me if Hoshina caught on some of Mina's issue...#Mina remember all fallen subordinates she can see it in her subconscious bro#And She specifically chose Hoshina to help her#short hair mina propaganda#Hoshimina#ashiro mina#hoshina soushirou#hoshina soshiro#soshiro hoshina#mina ashiro#faldrawskn8
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Lassen shoots his shot right out there in front of the entire crew and Freddie’s only response is “Hmmmmm….try harder :) :) :)”
#what’s funny is how Lassen is 100% ready to take that challenge#like sorry on the list of most unhinged ways to respond to a crewmate’s sudden interest in you#’you’ll have to catch me first’ is way up there#ministry of ungentlemanly warfare#anders lassen#i also laugh so hard every time at appleyard’s incredibly loud ANYWAY#hey can someone help me i’m developing brainrot over two characters in a guy ritchie film and their ten seconds of flirting#guy ritchie when i find you…#how dare you just give me *ONE* scene of intense flirting between the two most unhinged members of the crew#played by two incredibly attractive actors#costume design went crazy in that film- alan ritchson always looks one flex away from busting through his shirts#someone stop me from seeing it again…even tho i just saw it again
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