#help her jheselbraum help her

[egginfroggin]

Help a girl out, Jheselbraum

Takes place in the same AU as this post

Smol Ford got injured, Mabel is severely doubting her level of qualification to continue being his cool sci-fi aunt guardian, and Jheselbraum is trying to play therapist (it is not the first time)

Transcription:

Mabel: HE'S SO SMALL AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING JHESELBRAUM AND HE ALMOST DIED I'M BAD AT THIS AND

Jheselbraum: But he will recover, Mabel, you cannot let yourself lose hope due to this-

Mabel: GIRL HELP ME I'M NOT READY TO BE A COOL SCI-FI AUNT JHESELBRAUM

Jheselbraum: "Mabel, please"

[doctorsiren]

on Halloween, we did a silly where we were RPing who we were dressed up as in my server and so now Theraprism Bill is part of the McLawnolds 😁😁

[achromaticegoist]

THE BOOK OF BILL TINY RANT (SPOILERS)

STOP. I CAN'T DO THIS TUMBLR. okay okay, I GOT IT DELIVERED LIKE 3 HOURS AGO AND I COMPLETELY FINISHED IT 😭😭😭🙏

I ACTUALLY CAN'T DO THIS ANYYYMOREEE. I SWEAR TO GOD I WAS GIGGLING, KICKING, SCREAMING MY HEAD OFF THE ENTIRE TIME READING THIS STUPID THING.

Did ALEX LIKE, *SCROLL* through FANDOM while making this entire thing BECAUSE WHY DID SO MANY PEOPLE LOWKEY EAT WITH THEIR OLD HEADCANONS? SUPPOSED TO BE THE DEATH OF ALL OUR HEADCANONS RIGHT??? EVERYONE PREDICTED AT LEADT SOMETHING LMFAOOOOO.

AND IF ANY OF YALL FOLLOW GRAVITY FALLS : AMBER SKIES BY JOZLYN MOON, THE POST WEIRDMAGGEDON SCAR THING BEING A PREDICTION IS FUCKING *CRAAAZY*

AND THE FACT THAT THEY KEPT COMPATING HIM TO THE DEVIL AND SHIT, LUCIFER REFERENCES AND "FALLEN ANGLE?" MY GUYYYYY the actual BALLS it takes to write this because I GASPED SO LOUDLY AT SO MUCH SHIT.

AND I WAS SUPER DAMN EXCITED ABOUT THE HENCHMANIACS ONE

GUYS THEYRE SO FUCKING STUPID 😭😭😭😭😭😭🙏 WHY ARE THEY ALL SO STUPID 😭😭😭😭 IM DYING OF LAUGHTER

SO MANY PEOPLE LOWKEY GOT SOME KIND OF BEEF WITH PYRONICA?? WHY ARE THEY SO INVOLVED WITH HER??? THEY HAVE A GROUPCHAT OH MY GOD THEYRE SO BESTIE CODED

Again I'm STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT JHESELBRAUM THANK YOU VERY MUCH. I WILL SURVIVE ON THESE CRUMBS SO DAMN MUCH

TIME BABY IS A FUCKING COCOMELON ENJOYER 😭 HELPPPPPPPPP

GGGGGUYYYYS? WHAT? OH MY GOD?? WHAT THE FUCK?? IM SCREAMIGN. NO NONONO YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME THE ANGST.

AND NO. THE WAY BILL AND FORD HERE WERE FUCKKKK THATS SOME GOOD FUCKING TOXIC BILLFORD. DUDE NAH IM LIKE GASPING FOR AIR RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HOLY SHIT SOME OF THE STUFF HERE IS SICK BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT LIKE

AND THE

IM FREAKING

AAAA

FORD DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER THOSE PAGES MADE ME TEAR UP A LITTLE 😭😭😭🙏 NOOOOO

AND THOSE *SCRAPS* OF BILL'S BACKSTORY. GUYS CHAT NO I AM SCREAMING. SILLY STRAW CHILDHOOD TRAUMA LOWKEY WENT HARD AND HIS FAMILY AND THE *FUCKING SPECK OF HIS HOME DIMENSION*.

THAT ONE LITTLE TV SCREEN WITH THE EDWIN A ABBOT FLATLAND DIAGRAM IN THE BOOK THOUGH NAH CUZ FANDOM ATE WITH THAT ONE.

AA. AAAAAAAA. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND WHAT THE FUCK 😭🙏🙏 DIPPERS HISTORY WAS SO FUNNY I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING BRO ALSO WENT THROUGH THE GREEN MNM STAGE

AND IM NOT EVEN GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE COLLEEN BALLINGER***** APOLOGY REFERENCE THAT SHIT WAS SO DAMN FUNNY.

ALSO THE ENDING??? WHAT THE--THERAPY? NO BRCUASE THIS IS ACTUALLY SOME MESSED UP THERAPY SHIT. That is NOT how you try and heal someone holy fucking hell. Guy is getting more and more broken

CHAT I AM SOBBING AND SHAKING AND CRYING AND READY TO IMMERSE MYSELF FULLY IN THE GRAVITY FALLS FANDOM RN, STILL VERY MUCH ACTIVE IN HAZBIN HOTEL BUT GOD MOTHERFUCKIN DAMMMMMMMMNNNN THIS IS SOMETHING TO UNPACK.

[gfanlocalcryptid]

FOLKS!

Putting "seven eyes" on that godforsaken computer you get a picture of Jheselbraum (who we know was once a Henchmaniac) and a message that says: "LEAVE HIM. Escape to dimension (?) it's against the rules but it's the one reality where you may be safe from him"

The code under that says: "set coords to dimension: r34lity"

If you put "r34lity" into the computer you get some pictures of the Henchmaniacs in what seems to be our world and a text that says "they found a new home"

MY THEORY is that Jheselbraum still wanted to help her ex colleagues? Friends? And sent them to Earth, aka r34lity (which must be the name of our dimension in the Gravity Falls universe)

Thoughts?

[prettyinpwn]

YO JHESELBRAUM + I know where the Henchmaniacs ended up...

Sorry if someone already found this, but I wanted my goddamn Jheselbraum lore and so I was trying codes on the site with her. I tried Jheselbraum, The Oracle, etc. Finally, I tried 'seveneyes' and got this:

I'm not sure why her picture is burnt, left with ???, and why it's so dark, but... there she is! I'm going to try some more and update this post if I find anything.

EDIT: WAIT THERE'S MORE! Flip the pic:

Makes me wonder if she was following Ford across the Multiverse and got this picture and warning to him to come to her dimension, but he didn't heed it (although kept it). So she watched over him and made sure he stayed safe until the part we read in Journal 3 where he ended up in her dimension? Not sure. If anyone interprets this differently, let me know.

Also, there's a code on the bottom; working on cracking it now. EDITx2: It translates to "SETCOORDSTODIMENSION:R34LITY".

If you put R34LITY into the computer, you get this with the Shepard's Tone playing:

It seems Jheselbraum helped the other former Henchmaniacs make it to safety. In... reality. /fear

So the picture must have been something she gave them to help them escape.

[mystiffox]

i have no other place to ramble for this but i have an au i want to develop. i just havent had the time to execute it. anyway:

— maelstrom au!

Jheselbraum (right axo) had found Bill (middle) just after the "liberation" of his dimension, and sought out The Axolotl (left) to help raise the now orphaned isosceles. Bill works alongside The Axolotl while he is still a higher being working under the realm of chaos and dreams.

i do have a lot of notes so bear with me:

→ The Axolotl — Salamander

is called Otis by Bill, Ax/Axo by Jhesie.

an ageless God graced with omnipotent power and is in charge of the space-time continuum.

technically the oldest sibling/father figure.

→ Jheselbraum the Unswerving — Oracle

→ Bill Cipher — The Isosceles

this Bill doesnt feel like one that'd use his last name a lot? idk its vibes. maybe goes by "The Eye" or gets called Iso.

still a dream demon but works under Otis' careful guidance.

youngest sibling core!! (time is always finicky around here- but he's def the youngest compared to many other Bill aus)

called Jhesie by Bill, Orie by Otis.

"middle" sibling of course. will reprimand Bill if he goes too far, but indulges him every other time as well.

idk much about her atm beyond her prophetic and psychic powers. if the henchmaniacs are around, she and Bill definitely are good friends with them (with Time Baby as well).

maelstrom is a placeholder for now, bc my logic is a group of axolotls is called a maelstrom of axolotls! (its not an official term tho)

im also very, very tempted to add Steve into this. i think Bill should have a friend thats also the only other surviving shape from his dimension.

if you guys have any questions on em, ask away! i'd love to hear your thoughts, they could help me expand this au a lil more :)

[copaline]

MY FELLOW DEGENERATES IT'S WEDNESDAY!

@man--eater (You just posted a fic chapter but here I am demanding more!)

@sunsetofdoom (your writing has an amount of white gloves that is found nowhere else)

@i-prefer-base-twelve (*pokes hoping something falls out*)

@punedrr (I choose to believe you are sitting on a pile of gold now gimme!)

@ancharan (This is what happens when you expose me to shrimp colors)

@tempusedax-rerum (WELCOME TO THE FANDOM! You are now tagged!)

No pressure to share but I'd love to see what you have! And as always, if you see this and want to join in, please do! Consider yourself tagged by me! The banner is free to use!

This is a clip of the spinoff of Horror Vacui called The Dealer and the Oracle!

It's a fix it fic that answers the question "what if someone had rescued a young 1982 Model Ford as he was being tortured by Bill?". Here's a little snippet of the upcoming Chapter:

The 1980s were a shit decade. Leaf knew it. Jheselbraum knew it. Bill knew it. Everyone knew it. The music was tinny and insipid, the tech was clunky, the people were painfully backwards but thought themselves advanced, and that was before anyone took into account what passed for fashion. The 80s lacked the innovation of the 70s, the dynamism of the 60s, and the reverberating Potential of the 50s. The 80s weren’t experienced so much as they were inflicted upon a population that had no other choice but to exist in linear time. Case in point: The Rio Bar.  This faux Brazilian monstrosity was meant to look and feel exotic but only managed to embarrass itself. With its ever-present tobacco smoke and the reverb-heavy music, Leaf supposed it was a place where the uninspired could get a little taste of something safely foreign yet familiar. The bartender approached her in a ridiculous bleach-blond pompadour and what passed for a tropical shirt. “What can I getcha?” he asked cheerfully. Leaf locked eyes with him and scrutinized his saccharine smile before leaning in closer. “Tell the Grand Wormwood I’m here about her tab.” There was a crackle of static in the fringes of reality as the seams wrinkled and yielded to the words. The bartender’s face became dazed as his eyes glazed over and shifted from brown to a vivid lime green. He then blinked and looked around in confusion. “Hello Absinthe,” Leaf smiled. “Wisp? Where the hell did you drag me off to…” he trailed off as he looked positively disgusted. “I already helped you put the squeeze on Rico, I kept my end of the deal!” The Grand Wormwood, Absinthe the Green, otherwise known as the patron fae of that specific sort of regret that comes after you had far too good a time the night before. The Green Fairy’s domain lay behind the bar with the bottles of spirits, in theory she could manifest anywhere you could find a bartender, but even she had standards and this place certainly fell short of them. She was not pleased and was looking at Leaf as though she had dragged her to some back-alley slum to be murdered. “What? You don’t like banana leaves, bad music, and neon colors?” Leaf teased and it earned her a green-eyed glare. “You’re not funny.” “Well as long as you’re here, can I get a Blackberry Bramble?” It was amusing to see Absinthe puff up and glower while inhabiting a man a full head taller than Leaf. Eventually, the fae relented and manifested blackberries in a tumbler. “This was not part of the contract, Wisp.” “Oh no worries, I’ll pay for the drink.” “That wasn’t what I meant,” the bartender hissed, “you said I just had to help you find him. You never said I had to help you break him out.” “I also didn’t say you needed to kill Rico or his men,” she pointed out. “I only killed half.” “The other half were committed to the local insane asylum.” “And this is how you repay my restraint.” “My Lady Green, sulking is most unbecoming of you. You agreed to my deal. Last I checked, you still have half of your tab outstanding,” Leaf corrected as she caught the drink Absinthe slid across to her and took a sip, “mmm… bit sour.” “It’s February. Blackberries will be out of season for another twenty Februaries until global warming ramps up,” the fairy huffed. “Shame,” Leaf sighed as she pretended to be fascinated by the drink. “Is that it? You dragged me here to make you an anachronistic drink that won’t be invented for another year and a half?” “Misery loves company,” Leaf’s pointed reply was softened by the amusement in her eyes. “You know… you never said what Stan was doing in a place like this.”

[skeletboi]

Intridimensional au part 32!

Previous /// Next

Y'all this is so lazy, and also relevant to the plot, but mostly about Cam because they're part of the plot now.

Get plotted, bitch! *gets murdered*

---------------

J= Jheselbraum the Unswerving. (I was too lazy to type it every time)

*Stan wakes up and sees Fiddleford and Ford lying next to him. They are safe, and still breathing, although they all have a variety of cuts on their faces from the 2d dimension*

Stan: Ford, Fidds wake up!

*Ford blinks awake and sits up in a panic before noticing Stan and Fiddleford on either side of him*

Ford: Stan, where-

J :Hello, I don't want to startle you-

*Ford and Stan both jump, waking Fidds.*

J: Apologies, I promise I am a friend. I know who you are and wish to assist you in your mission.

Stan: Are you going to say a bunch of cryptic shit and fuck off like that Cam person did, or do you actually mean you want to help?

*J let's out a breathy laugh and shakes her head.*

J: You've met Cameron, then. I can't say I'm surprised, they have a tendency to run in to versions of you, but they usually come to me complaining afterwards. Regardless, I am not like them, and I will give you whatever information you need to help on your journey.

Ford: We will take whatever help you can give us. Although, I am curious if you can tell us what Cam is, since they refused to give me an answer.

*Stan and Fidds look at Ford with matching expressions if exasperation.*

J: You asked them what they are and they didn't immediately kill you? I'm impressed. They must like you, or their self control is getting better.

Stan: They did sound threatening, but didn't bother to murder any of us. They just had another drink and then left. They were the least helpful, helpful person I ever met.

Fidds: I don’ even think they helped much. Seemed more threatenin’ than helpful ta me.

Ford: I thought they were fascinating, but I must know what they are. My theory was some sort of nymph- they can be quite threatening- although that doesn't make sense considering the location.

*J sighs and nods*

J: Considering you're still alive I assume you didn't tell them that theory. I can't see them taking kindly to being called a nymph.

I can't blame them for their more volatile nature, though. To answer your question, they are the offspring of different dimension versions of Kratos- the god of war, and Gaia- Mother Earth.

They have no real home dimension, with their mother being from 46*/ and their father from 27/1. They have no solid sense of home, never enough of one dimension or the other for the local's liking.

They had no choice but to take on the role of their parents after their deaths, so they are a physical manifestation of destruction and creation in one being.

Everything in the multiverse exists in the balance of creation and destruction, but it is not a balance so easily achieved.

Everything and being in the multiverse struggles with that balance in some way, and like everything and being in the multiverse Cameron does, too.

That is why I cannot blame them for their volatile nature. They hold an unprecedented role as an interdimensional keeper of that balance. I do wish they would stop drinking, though. Their coping mechanisms get worse every few millennia and it ends well for no one. I'll have to contact them to check in soon…

Ford: Fascinating! I do love a unique powerful being.

Stan and Fidds simultaneously: We know!

*Ford frowns at them, but then continues.*

Ford: That doesn't explain the rift blade, though. Where did they obtain such an item?

J: They inherited from their father after they killed him. It's often referred to as the blade of Kratos, but the version they wield has more interdimensional properties, which is how their father was able to be with their mother in the first place. The multiverse authorities have been trying to keep it contained for years, but to no avail.

To make matters worse, Cameron has modded it quite a bit, with the help of some other versions of you, Fiddleford.

I have had the opportunity to take it from them multiple times, but I cannot agree with the authorities on this matter. I do not think it is a real danger in their hands, although it would be a danger in the hands of someone else.

Fidds: Ya jus’ described them as volatile, but ya don’ think the weapon is a danger?

*J chuckles*

J: It is complicated, but I know them quite well, and I know they will make the right choices when it comes down to it.

Stan: So, all-in-all what you're saying is we met a god-being at a dive bar in space?

J: Yes. Although, if you run into them again, which I believe you will, don't call them a god. They hate the connotation that comes with it.

Fidds: I would rather not run into them again at all.

J just smiles

Stan: So, since you know them, do you know if they're single?

Ford and Fiddleford: Stanley!

J: Best of luck on that endeavor, but let's talk about your main mission, shall we?

I have a procedure I've done before, Stanford. I can put metal plates in your head that will keep Bill out of it. You won't have to worry about him being able to possess you again. It'll take some time to heal fully, but-

Ford: Yes! I'll do it!

Fidds and Stan: NO!

J:...

Ford: We need a way for Bill to stay out of my mind, why would I not do this?

Stan: Just wear tinfoil on your head like a normal crazy person!

Fidds: I can make something that sits over your head without surgery!

Ford: Well… I suppose those ideas would work…

*J looks between them all, a soft smile on her face*

J: The choice is ultimately yours, Stanford, but you are lucky to have these two with you, not many versions of you are so lucky.

Stan: I wouldn't call anything about this situation lucky.

J: There are worse alternatives, I can assure you of that. I've seen them with my own eyes, and I have a lot of eyes.

Fidds: What else can ya tell us ‘bout Bill? We need information if we got any chance of defeatin’ him.

J: Of course. Ask me anything you need to know and I'll help any way I can.

______________

Whatever. I'm tired, yo. The seasonal affective disorder got me in a vice grip. It gets dark at 4pm by me and it's killing me slowly. 🎉

How do people live day to day? I'm losing it frfr.

Anyways! Here ya go, I guess.

[aaabatteryy]

Bill is actually also the ruler of the multiverse now,because he also ended up taking on The Axolotl's role of universal guardian after he killed them,and does he use this authority responsibly?,HAH! NO! OH GOD HE FUCKING DOESN'T. With Great Power comes Great Insanity~,meaning the fact that he has the powers of a literal god aka being able to smite even the most powerful of beings in the blink of an eye (jheselbraum. he killed her despite her being just as powerful as canon Bill) and controlling time itself kindaaa doesn't help with his already fucked up ego and cruel behavior. Ford knows about this,but he doesn't do anything to fix it,he knows that Bill's status as the entire universe's tyrannical ruler will eventually destroy everything once the triangle gets pissed enough but he Does Not Care as he gets to be with his all powerful god hubby. Stan and the twins care though,they care about the fact that their brother/other grunkle's husband will end up destroying all of reality for fun or out of frustration one day just like what happened with alll of the other universes that Bill rules over,which is why Stan and Fidds are actively working together to create a weapon to kill a god or find some way to seal said god somewhere.

cushy little spot ford has as a god's husband, huh? i want sooo badly to see something with them just having a petty ass argument and when they finally stop and go to leave, the planet they were next to is just a dissipating cloud of dust LMAOO

[f-imaginings]

sooo i’m currently rereading kmky and im at the point where stanford gets upset that bill didn’t show up to ONE dream and just stops sleeping for 10 months (definitely not extreme on his part😭) and it’s got me thinking about later in the fic when he’s made it his life’s mission to Kill Bill ® and i cant help but wonder what would’ve happened if he had succeeded, this is the same man who freaked out from not having bill in his dreams so how the hell did he plan to cope without bill in existence

----------------

I get the feeling that he wouldn't have succeeded. A key point about Bill in my own lil head canon is that he's very hard to kill. The parallels between Bill and Zippy were very purposeful in kmky. The attitude he developed after outliving his people and the many assassination attempts from more powerful beings over the years is similar to Zippy's "what are you going to do about it? Kill me bitch!" attitude. The interesting thing about Zippy though is that she eventually found her equal in Jolene of Flames. Jolene isn't immortal though (unless Bill gave it as a wedding present) so Zippy might lapse back into destructive behaviours if Jolene ever passes away.

Back to Stanford though, he was in a downward spiral since the bibliosphere. He was disappointed he didn't die. He then goes off to find out more about Bill only to wake up with Bill literally cut out of his head courtesy of Jheselbraums metal plate. Jheselbraum sends him on a mission to build this gun playing on that hopelessness all "here's a purpose now you've hit rock bottom, it'll solve all your problems BC you're destined to kill Bill. You can trust me I'm an Oracle, you totally have the face of the man who'll take Bill down" and he just accepts this without really challenging it in any way BC he is already despondent in a way that Bill is out of his head. Bill made him feel important. He could have taken his new metal plate and gone to live out his life elsewhere happily but he wants to feel important and he wants to see Bill one last time, like some romantic hero, thinking they're destined to destroy each other, thinking that feels right.

When he was in the alternate world with the Institute of Oddology he came across as a man on a suicide mission and realised it too after spending enough time with Fiddleford, enough to be scared a little of the prospect, of realising how much he could lose by pursuing this, but he did it anyway, jumping into the portal to go kill Bill. This wasn't his Fiddleford, this wasn't his life that had been built up to such great heights so it was easier to give up on the idea of staying around for these things.

He was fully expecting to die, and I think he would have straight up broken down if Bill didn't kill him. If Bill caught him or kept him alive he would have in a way expected punishment or a solution somehow. They were both equally thrilled at the prospect of chasing each other down, like it was a special treat for them to each fill that role of hunter/prey in turn.

When the Portal opened and he's back with his family he would still feel justified or righteous in a way because his destiny wasn't stopped, just interrupted and now he has more reason than ever to prevent Bill from accessing earth. He starts getting more to live for outside of Bill and more parts of his life he wants to protect. He had zero support structure before but now he has concrete things to live for and put above this cat and mouse back and forth.

If he had succeeded he probably would have felt more guilt than is canon typical, I think Stanley making the big sacrifice redirected his guilt in canon to be more balanced. If he managed to down Bill in one shot I think he would have felt triumphant and also felt like he would have to hide his sadness from the kids and his family, and it would probably eat away at him until someone noticed and lanced the boil of those emotions so he could grieve freely. He'd be with family at that point though, and old friends, ppl who knew what Bill was like. I imagine Fiddleford would be great comfort to him, knowing that while Bill was generally awful he showed his good sides only to Stanford and that meant something. I think that could eventually help him heal from it.

Anyway super long rambley answer sorry if I got a little off task there but I hope this somewhat covers it.

[videogamelover99]

[Gravity Falls] Waking Days Ch. 3: The Master of the Mind

Summary: Bill Cipher is reborn, but not in the way he would have wanted. Stuck as a mortal and relying on those who brought his downfall, he realizes that maybe he didn't lie as hard as he should have. [AO3 Link] Characters: Bill Cipher, Mabel Pines, Dipper Pines, Stanford Pines, Stanley Pines, Jheselbraum the Unswerving, The Axolotl Pairings: past BillFord Rating: T

A/N: Hope you like this new chapter! Thank you to @megxolotl and @nexstage for beta-reading. Enjoy!

---

The mindscape opened up around Bill, casting the Mystery Shack’s living room in fuzzy greyscale. Bill’s human prison lay beneath him, fast asleep on the couch. Human astral projection wasn’t exactly rocket science, but the cute little speck of power he’d retrieved from the rift gave him access to something far better: the squealing minds of others. His projected consciousness could take any form he wished, and it was a blast to have his snazzy three-sided form back, if temporarily.

Ha! Couldn’t have predicted this, Frills?

He had some housekeeping to do. The mindscape let him interact with his mind, and Bill spent the first night eagerly sorting through the scraps of information his memory was trying desperately to hold on to. A human mind was not meant for trillions of years’ worth of memories, and it had a pesky habit of prioritizing things that it deemed “important”, and throwing the rest out with the garbage. Bill had to dig stuff up from a pile of discarded and disintegrating memories and cram it into corners it couldn’t escape from. It was like lying about cleaning your room, only to shove everything under the bed and hope Mom wouldn’t notice.

Once he was sure he wouldn’t lose whatever remains of his infinite knowledge left to him, Bill finally got to the real fun. He poked around the town, invading sleeping heads and only causing minor chaos in his wake. He didn’t want to give himself away that easily. 

Well. Lazy Susan sure liked cats.

Dipper’s nightmare of fighting parents and disintegrating nuclear families took a backseat to one about twelve-headed pigs. 

One peek into Sheriff Blub’s brain: it was a play-by-play of Mabel’s trashy romance novels. 

One peek in Deputy Durland’s brain, and he had to pour caustic soda in his eye. Humans were such freaks.

There were two minds Bill had to keep from, if only for now. Sixer was too likely to recognize his presence. As for Stanley…

He didn’t want to see Stanley’s mind ever again. 

Bill kept searching. One of these small-town hicks was bound to find another rift, another crumb of his power. All he had to do was play nice.

It was only a matter of time. 

—

Learning to play nice, however, was harder than it looked.

"So, anyway, this is why-" Mabel Pines' cheerful voice grated on him as she prattled about something one of her little friends did. They sat on the floor in the attic, surrounded by a pillow fort the twins had constructed, and Bill attempted to look like he was listening. He noticed the stained-glass window that used to hold his face had been replaced by some boring plexiglass. Boo. 

"Hey, Billy-"

"I told you not to call me that," he snapped. "What?"

“I’ve decided,” she said it like it was a monumental announcement. “I’m going to help you!”

Well, that was easier than expected. “Finally got a taste for world domination?”

“Nope, try again!”

“You’ve come to your senses and realized replacing all the eggs in the fridge with baby heads is the most hilarious thing ever?”

“Wrong again! I’m gonna help you…” Mabel stood up on her bed and struck a dramatic pose. “Be a better person!”

That sent him into sudden fits of hysterical laughter.

“You might not believe it now, but I do!” she jumped off the bed, her face deathly serious. “Being a good person is like sports, you get better at it if you practice. All you need is the right coach!”

“You lost me at ‘person’.”

“You’re a person, silly!”

“That’s the problem.”

“No, it isn’t!” She flung open one of the drawers and took out a sketchbook. “Here.” She flipped to the right page and pointed at a drawing of a triangle with an eye and a big angry eyebrow. Pretty good. The flames were a nice touch. “This is you, and this…” She drew a line through his face and colored everything below in red. “Is your badness level.”

“I’m not a fluffy marketable blue alien created by a gaslighting, monopolistic entertainment company.”

Mabel learned to ignore his asides. She looked him up and down and pursed her lips like she was conspiring something. It was kind of adorable, but Bill was pretty sure that whatever it was would occupy the rest of the day with pointless side quests, and he needed to get a move on if he wanted to find more rifts. 

“Oh wow, would you look at the time! Catch ya on the flip side, kid-” He made it to the door before Mabel appeared before him, blocking his only escape. 

“Not so fast, mister. Hey!” He picked her up and deposited her out of the way. Weight was still an annoying concept, and she was heavy for her size. 

He was halfway down the stairs when she said: “I’ll get Grunkle Stan to drop that grudge he’s been carrying!”

That made him pause. Walking around the shack without worrying about the old geezer’s retaliation for those pranks would be nice.

He climbed back up and plopped down on the pillow fort. Mabel looked way too smug for someone who was just picked up like a delivery package, so he flipped her hair over her face. “You’ve got one hour,” he said as she sputtered and coughed up hair.

—

Lesson 1: Apologies. Know how to admit you’re wrong!

“Hey, Fez.”

“What do you want?”

“My bad about the glue shoes.”

“Is this some kinda trick?”

“Me? No way, never. By the way, you might wanna check your bed for blood-sucking gnomes. Not for any particular reason.”

He got away before the rolling pin Stan tossed could hit him. Mabel facepalmed.

—

Lesson 2: Good Deeds. Do something without expecting anything in return.

“Why, thank you. Such a nice young man. My sight had been bad ever since my cataracts set in.”

“Sure. Woah, this weighs a ton!”

“Oh! I brought cookies, my secret recipe. I can only bake them once a year, and I wanted to give something to the grandkids.”

…

“My, this bag weighs a lot less than I remember.”

“Look at you, so strong from all that heavy lifting!”

“Oh, I suppose so!”

The old lady left, and Bill held out his armful of cookies. “Want one?”

Mabel angrily munched on the stolen treat.

—

Lesson 3: Compliments! Say something nice about someone else!

“Hey, what a haircut!”

“Oh, thank you!”

“Reminds me of this one guy I met from Dimension 323. Had tentacles for teeth and teeth for eyes. Great guy, he’d make this crazy cocktail out of pineapple juice, vodka, and fingernails…”

They watched as the man shuddered and scrambled away, his face turning green by the second.

“Can’t handle a compliment. This guy’s got issues.”

Mabel groaned into her notepad.

—

“So, how’s it going?” Dipper trailed off when his sister let out a moan of pure anguish. “I’m guessing not good.”

“This was awful, Dipper!” Mabel leaped to her feet from her sad curl on the pavement and paced back and forth. “I’ve tried everything! Compliments, apologies, acts of kindness, it’s like he can’t do anything unless he gets something out of it or makes someone miserable because he thinks it’s funny! Who lives like that?!”

“Bill.” 

“Aaaagh!” Mabel tugged on her hair in frustration.

“Hey, maybe it’s time for a change of plans,” Dipper offered. “I mean, I told you. The guy is the worst. Maybe you have to accept that he’s terrible, with or without your help, and move on.”

“I can’t."

“Why?”

“Because I brought him back!”

Dipper frowned. “Mabel…”

“I shook his hand, right? So I’m responsible for him.” Mabel stopped pacing and scowled at the ground. “I don’t want him to end up hurting anyone because of me.” She looked at the bench some twenty feet away, where Bill lay sprawled on the seat, fast asleep. “And now he’s napping.” She said, a little bitterly.

“He’s been doing that a lot lately.” Dipper sent the ex-demon a suspicious glance. 

“Yeah,” Mabel went quiet. 

“Let’s go wake him up and give him a piece of our mind.”

Mabel yanked him back by the arm. “Dipper, wait! Just…just let him sleep, okay? He probably needs it.”

Confusion, exasperation, and a fond sort of pride all fought inside Dipper. “He doesn’t deserve your sympathy, Mabel.”

“Well, I’m giving it anyway,” she huffed. “Because I’m a good person!”

—

He didn’t have a lot of time, out in the open like this, but hey, he worked with what he got. Bill peeked through a dozen minds or so, no sign of a rift or anything like it. The guy with the haircut was still crying in the bathroom. Nice.

“Come on, give me something.”

He knew there was more than one rift. He knew, because this town had a habit of attracting chaos and entropy and because a calamity of this size wouldn’t stop at one little crack.

A calamity of this size would destroy you, too.

Ugh, not him. 

You invoked me. I am always here.

Oh yeah? Ever heard of privacy? Boundaries? Not being a creep?

This is coming from someone whose main occupation was watching everyone and everything.

…Touché. 

Even you cannot escape what’s to come.

They’ll see about that, won’t they? Once he had his powers back, some multidimensional rip in the fabric of the universe wouldn’t be much of a problem.

You are a fool.

“And you’re an irritating, holier-than-thou waste of space!”

He didn’t realize that he’d yelled it out loud, into the mindscape. But he had, and the Axolotl was silent for a moment before he once again spoke: Pursue this for as long as you wish. It is fruitless. You cannot escape your vow to me. 

“Yeah yeah. Get lost.”

And he did. Not really, Bill could still feel the Axolotl’s presence hovering somewhere nearby, and it drove him crazy to know everything he did was being scrutinized by some huge, ugly, annoying- 

Huh, that was weird. 

The mind he found nearby, well, there was something off about it. It was hard to notice, like a hiccup in space-time, but Bill has done this song and dance for eons. The girl herself was fast asleep, her head on the storefront counter. Bill vaguely recognized her as that enthusiastic cashier girl who vowed to destroy all clothing without pockets. Heh, fun times.

He floated up next to her and poked the distortion with a finger. 

There it was again. Sparks, glitching for a split second before fading out. It was a lot like the static aura surrounding Mabel’s pet pig.  

Bill stared at it for a few moments. Then he laughed. Weeks of mind-numbing human boredom and now finally, something interesting.

He hesitated, for a moment, on whether or not to enter the cashier girl’s mind. It wasn’t like anything could happen to him in the mindscape, not really, but-

Scoffing at the idea, Bill let himself right in.

“Woah!”

Cashier Girl’s exterior sure matched her interior. A dark hallway of a nightclub filled with punk rock posters by groups from the 90s, complete with DOWN WITH THE SYSTEM graffiti was about what Bill had expected. And hey, he could respect consistency and vision, if anything. Anarchy was still his wheelhouse, even if it was packaged in outdated punk rock aesthetics. 

What he was pretty sure didn’t belong there were the tendrils of white static, crawling around corners like a glitched-out video game screen. 

A sharp, colorful tendril reached out toward him. Bill swatted it away. “Back off, pal. You’re picking a fight you can’t win.”

The tendril quickly retreated, cowering in the corner. Man, it felt good to be back.

“What are you supposed to be?”

Bill didn’t jump. He definitely didn’t screech, and summon a handful of flames he quickly snuffed out. Because he wasn’t startled, Bill couldn’t startle, he was the All-Seeing-Eye!

“Hey, man, you ok?”

That was when he realized the posters weren’t rock bands, but memories. On the poster behind him, Cashier Girl was looking at him as she sat under a large willow tree, on top of a black and white colored picnic blanket. 

So maybe spending so much time trapped in an awkward meat sack made him rusty. Bill straightened his tie and pretended none of that had happened. Because it didn’t. “Heya. Nice digs. Great decor. The fluorescent lighting really brings the whole eye-sore together.”

“You’re a triangle,” said the girl.

“Yup,” said Bill.

“How does that, like, work?”

It was awkward, having a conversation through the metaphysical representation of the border between someone’s memory and their mind, so Bill let himself in, settling on the other corner of the picnic blanket, one leg crossed over the other. “Hey, not my fault humanity’s dimensional awareness started and ended at the number three! You think your pencil drawings don’t watch you while you sleep?”

Cashier Girl reached out a finger toward his side, which Bill slapped away lightly. “Yeesh, what’s with all the unwarranted touching in here? You got a problem or something?”

“Sorry, it’s just-” She angled her neck around him as if checking if he was actually flat.

“Hey, kid, my eye’s up here.”

“Uh-huh.” She looked at him up and down again, “Are you like, the Hat Man or something?”

“Did you seriously compare me to that miserable gangly hack?” Bill rolled his eye. “He can’t even manifest without allergy pills! Nah, kid, I’m the dream demon real deal,  your good old pal Bill-”

Wait. 

“Demon, huh? Cool,” the girl frowned. “You kinda look like all that graffiti in the town I work in. Gravity Falls?”

“Wow, what a crazy coincidence. DON’T WORRY ABOUT IT!”

He took in his surroundings a bit more. It was pitch black, with a small, cool breeze blowing through the grass underneath the blanket and shifting the strands of willow above them. Behind the tree was a small clearing filled with gravestones, green and mossy with age. A plaque on the rusted-up wire fence read FAIRVIEW CEMETERY.

Fairview wasn’t far from Gravity Falls. So this kid was an out-of-towner. Luckily, she didn’t recognize him.

Cashier Girl shrugged. “I come here all the time.” 

Ding! Another point for manic pixie dream girl! Three more and we might even find a sad, mediocre boy to attach!

He didn’t say that out loud, obviously. “Gotta respect your gusto, kid! Say, how’s about you tell your old pal Bill about whatever’s going on there.” He pointed at the window to the rest of the mindscape. From this side of things, it looked like there was a poster floating in the air.

“Oh, that,” Cashier Girl frowned. “That started a while ago. Ever since I got that job at the mall.”

“And did you see anything… weird?”

“Yeah, I mean…” She shook her head, looking frustrated. “There was this like, multicolored light?”

Now they were getting somewhere. Lemme guess, a tear in space-time did some damage to your psyche. Bill extended his arm until it was three times as long, looping it around the girl’s shoulders. “Lay it on me! Consider it a free consultation: you’re talking to the Master of the Mind, you know,” he winked and manifested two cups of tea in front of them. 

The girl tentatively reached for hers. “Well, there was this like, tear. I think? In a wall. Inside it were these oil-spill lights?”

She was gonna lead him straight to the jackpot. After days of frustration and nothing, Bill felt like cackling. “And lemme guess, you touched it, and it backfired?”

She shrugged. She looked down at the tea and made a face.

Bill floated toward her until his eye was inches away from hers. “Where did you see it?”

“Oh, um,” she put her finger to her chin, frowning. “I don’t remember.”

“Ha! Obviously, I should’ve-” Bill’s excited speech stopped short. “What do you mean, you don’t remember?”

She shrugged again. “Sorry. It’s like there’s this static.” She pointed to her head.

Bill rubbed his eye in frustration. “Do you remember anything? At all?”

“Well, it was dark.”

“ And?”

“And…I think my boss was there.” Cashier Girl frowned in thought. “Wait, why would she be there?”

“...Great!” He threw his hands up. The teacup fell onto the blanket, tea spilling and staining the cloth. “Okay! Sure! I can work with this! Who’s your boss, kid?”

“So how do I get rid of it?”

“What?”

“You said it’s a ‘free consultation’,” said Cashier Girl. “So how do I get rid of the gross staticky stuff?”

Bill looked back through the poster at the rest of the mindscape. The Cashier Girls in the other memories were watching them curiously. The spiderweb, static-like tendrils wiggled around like maggots. “How’s about this: I’ll know how to get rid of it if you tell me where I can find your boss.”

“Really?”

“Yeah!” He floated up to her eye level. “See, this kinda stuff is hard to get rid of. It’s like a curse, it eats away at you, body and mind and all until you’re nothing but a big sad pile of madness in a white-padded cell!”

“Oh.”

“So, the only way to clear the gunk: find the origin point. Capiche?” He waved his hand in the air. “We’ll do a little cleansing ritual, you know, nothing fancy, get all the tough stains out, and voila! Brand new mindscape! Madness-free! How’s that sound?”

“Yes?”

“Great! It’s a deal!” He reached out a hand, expecting the familiar crackle of blue flame to appear. But it was just his hand, and for a moment Bill simply stared at it, momentarily forgetting the last few weeks. Right. Can’t make binding deals anymore. That frilly bastard took that, too.

The girl hesitantly shook his hand. “Deal.” She paused. “I’m not, like, gonna find out I owe my firstborn to you, right?”

“Psh, why would I want your firstborn? Babies are smelly tyrants with too much time on their hands. Just help me find that rift, kid. The rest’s on the house.”

“Okay,” she said hesitantly. “By the way, is there an eyeball in this tea?”

—

“Look at you,” said Jheselbraum as she knelt by the translucent barrier that held Waddles. The monstrous, corrupted pig oinked in several different voices.

“Mabel is convinced that’s him demanding treats,” Ford said.

“Of course, it is. I speak pig.”

“You do?”

Jheselbraum held his gaze for a good moment before laughing. “No.  But I’m flattered you would think so.” She took a carrot from a nearby bucket of treats Mabel started keeping in Ford’s study and pressed a button to lower the barrier enough to toss it in. The carrot landed between three hungry, gaping pig mouths, and they fought each other as they devoured it. 

“Is there a way to fix him?” Ford asked.

“Maybe. The energy that did this to him came from Bill’s dimension, but it’s more than that. It’s the same energy that’s feeding those cracks.”

“So if we find a cure for Waddles….” 

“We will find a cure for the rift.” 

Stanford watched the pig blink at him as if expecting more treats. For the first time in a long while, he felt the glimmer of optimism rear its head in his heart. “Let’s get to work, then.”

—

Stan walked past Greasy’s, noticing the unusual crowd at the door. That ratty little diner never got this much traction, even during tourist season.

He was tempted to snoop around, if only to find out what they were doing and how to steal whatever new gimmick got those people through the doors. Shrugging off the mantle of Mr. Mystery was harder than he realized. 

Maybe later. As he reached the general store, he tried the handle. It didn't budge. 

Huh. The store had pretty damn consistent working hours for 30 straight years. He peered through the window. 

“They’re not in,” said a voice. Stan turned and saw one of Wendy’s teen friends. She didn’t look up from her phone as she said: “Everyone’s been holed up at Greasy’s.”

“Oh yeah? What’s at Greasy’s?”

“Beats me, some kinda town meeting. It’s been crowded all afternoon.”

Stan swallowed nervously and looked back down Main Street at the bustling diner. His first worry was that their attempt at hiding Bill had turned out pretty lousy, and the thought of a parade of justifiably scared town citizens filling their yard, carrying pitchforks and torches, did not make him any less nervous.

“Guess I should check it out,” he said.

“I literally don’t care,” said the teen.

—

“There are a few materials we could try,” Jheselbraum stood in front of the chalkboard and scribbled out a formula while Stanford watched from his desk chair. He hadn’t slept well, but that hadn’t been unusual for the past few weeks. He did his best to focus as his interdimensional friend dropped the chalk and picked up something she’d brought with her: a purple, semi-translucent scarf. “Imagine the fabric of existence as a tightly interwoven net. It’s hard to break, but with enough torn strings it can come apart easily. And strings are most easily torn at the seams,” With that, Ford watched, surprised, as she tore the scarf in half with her hands.

“Er, that wasn’t anything valuable, I hope?”

Jheselbraum stared at the torn pieces in her hands, realizing what she’d just done. “...I’ll make a new one.” She tossed the pieces aside. “The rift is a tear in space-time, most likely to be found at the seams of a dimension, where reality is the weakest. And the more they appear, the more likely it is for the entire fabric to come undone.” She gestured to the chalkboard. “The fabric of reality is made of logic and systems, not cloth, but the principle is the same.”

“And the tear was made by a high concentration of weirdness?”

“Yes. Weirdness, chaos, entropy, whatever you wish to call it.” Jheselbraum pointed at the first half of the formula. “Chaos is an imbalance, a surplus of energy. Without Bill Cipher as an agent to channel it, the Nightmare Realm is overflowing with that energy. Your dimension will be the most affected, having been the one directly in contact with the Nightmare Realm a year ago. But there are ways to channel that energy, ground it, using magically made materials. If we create some of them, and test them-”

“We can sew the hole in reality back together.”

“You’re catching on.” The Oracle smiled. 

But Ford was busy thinking of something she’d said. “‘Without Bill Cipher’. You mean he’s been preventing this?”

Jheselbraum’s smile instantly vanished, replaced by mild annoyance. “Yes and no. Technically, he caused this a year ago when he tried to take over your dimension. But he was made of that energy, and energy doesn’t just go away. When he died, all the power that he wielded got stuck in between this world and his.” 

“It’s either Bill or the universe ending?” Stanford swallowed. “Doesn’t seem fair.”

Jheselbraum just shrugged. “The universe doesn’t exactly care about fair.” She stared at the chalkboard for a moment, brow furrowed. It was much easier to read her expressions now that she had a human face. “There’s something that’s been bothering me.”

“What is it?”

She tapped the numbers she’d scribbled down. “Even with the surplus of energy, it shouldn’t be… altering matter. Not at such a rate anyway. It takes millions of years for a lifeform to be corrupted like that. But with Waddles, it seemed to happen within minutes, if not seconds.” She shook her head. “Entropy is inevitable, but it’s not instantaneous. It’s almost as if whatever corrupted Waddles pushed it forward.”

Ford shuddered. “You’re implying it was done deliberately? By someone?”

“…I wouldn’t jump to that conclusion just yet.”

“Bill,” Ford said immediately. “If it was anyone-”

“It wasn’t him,” she said calmly. “He’s powerless.”

“Or he wants us to think that!” Ford ran a hand through his hair, thinking of all the worst possible scenarios. Had Bill been playing them all for fools? Had he really been at their mercy this whole time? Or had he just been waiting for the right moment?

The Oracle regarded him with an unwavering gaze, almost like she knew exactly what he was thinking. “Ford, he’s a drama queen. And horribly impatient. Do you really think he’s spent so long pretending and putting himself in humiliating situations on purpose?”

Ford breathed out slowly. “Alright, I see your point. But J-…” he suddenly remembered that she’d gone by a different name at some point, and felt a rush of shame that he’d forgotten it. “Nora? Forgive me, I’m not sure what you prefer.”

Her gaze softened momentarily. “I’ve gone by many names. The one you know me by is just the latest. The other one…is very old.” She looked past him. “Call me whatever you like.”

“Nora,” he amended. He felt a little thrill at addressing such a renowned creature by a name he assumed not many knew. “If it’s not Bill…”

Then what could have done this?

---

[next]

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[nenoname]

wondering if we're eventually gonna get more info on the oracle/jheselbraum considering we got lore on her being a former henchmaniac and she helped the others escape to our dimension so they wouldnt be arrested

plus ive been thinking about the 'one with the same face as ford will defeat bill' prophecy (which ended up being both stan and ford cos killing that triangle was a team effort lol)

but was it a prophecy that only she and the axolotl knew? bill clearly had no idea cos he was only focused on the shaman's prophecy when he met ford

[ultrakeencollectionbreadfan]

Gravity Falls Grauntie Jhes AU

A while back, I wrote a fanfic prompt for an AU where Jheselbraum the Unswerving ends up coming to Earth and becomes Dipper and Mabel's honorary Grauntie. Well, I decided to expand on it and add a a few more details. Here they are:

-As mentioned before, Jheselbraum, or Jhes as everyone starts to call her, arrives shortly after Ford does. She shows up because the Axolotl told her that Stanford might need some help. She knows that Weirdmageddon is coming, but she can't give the Mystery gang all the details yet.

-Jheselbraum is capable of changing her size at will, so she makes herself the same height as Ford so it's easier to get around.

-She often finds herself mediating between Stan and Ford whenever they get into an argument.

-She finds herself bonding with Mabel, because the latter reminds the former of herself as a child. She participates in Mabel's slumber parties and has a heart-to-heart with her at one point, which turns out to be useful when she's in Mabeland.

-Stanford introduces Jhes to Dungeons, Dungeons & More Dungeons at one point.

-She has a fight with Bill Cipher during Weirdmageddon, but he's too powerful for her and she ends up incapacitated. Fortunately, Ford manages to save her.

-She goes back to Dimension 52 after Weirdmageddon, but still periodically checks up on Gravity Falls and the Stan twins.

[cootcutebatkat]

More Ford Headcanons

Yeah I'm making a part two right now. Why not? These will be more adult-oriented.

Ford is not at all fond of high-pitched noises. Some he tolerates, especially if he has control over them. But most of the time, he'll react by covering his ears and grimacing.

There isn't a recreational drug out there that he has tried at least once. But his most favorites are alcohol, cannabis, hallucinogenics, and amphetamines. Oh wait, caffeine is considered a drug now? In the mainstream sense and not the medicine sense? Okay, well, that's also his favorite too.

He's only done caffeine the most since he came back into Gravity Falls through the portal. But ofc, with the help of Stan and Fiddleford, he's able to drink and ingest weed as much as he'd like! And yet. There is a limit on caffeine? The nerve!

He's only allowed the limits ever since Dipper and Mabel kindly asked him to follow the rules on his intake levels. Mabel used her darling eyes on him. Dipper used his darling eyes AND plenty of research to back up his claim. Curse his love for his grand-niblings.

Ford is, in a sense, trans-human. He's had many more modifications done to him beyond just the metal plate in his head. He heals faster, runs faster, jumps higher, and has more keen senses! Of course, a vigorous exercise routine helps too.

While Ford identifies as part of the asexual and aromantic spectrum, he's not immune to such feelings either, especially the asexual part. But he's unsure if it's the person's characteristics that are sexually appealing or if the sex alone is and they just happened to be good-looking. But romance is another story.

He has felt romantic feelings towards Bill and Jheselbraum. Fiddleford too, in retrospect. But if you ask him, a queer-platonic relationship sounds much more appealing and emotionally deeper. He has yet to deduce why.

He is polyamourous too! Somewhat. Well, it takes a lot of trust and he'd prefer to deeply know the other persons involved as well. But he isn't opposed to his partner sleeping with another being, so long as Ford is aware of their location, the exits, their current defenses, the stranger's weaknesses, their immunities and defenses and and and. Okay, he's not opposed to it due to jealousy and lack of trust. He's opposed to it because he cannot risk anything bad happen to his beloveds.

That being said... STD transmission is a thing. He might also be opposed to it due to health and hygiene purposes. Unless. He could craft a rapid-testing kit that his beloveds could take with them wherever they go if they feel the urge to sleep with another being.

If his partner(s) have a habit of sleeping with other folks though... it could cause some insecurities. Communication is an absolute must at this point. But depending on the relationship and other variables, you might not hear about said insecurities. So much for communication... (Stan is probably yelling at him for it)

Sometimes, he'll avoid communication to avoid arguments. Expect a lot of serious talks during the earlier parts of your relationship, especially if Ford feels it becoming more intimate and serious. He wants to avoid conflict as much as possible.

He loves absurd memes. The internet, while it did take a while to learn due to its rapid growth, is oddly fun and a host of many research articles! Thanks to Fiddleford, he's learned to bypass many security walls and such, so he's able to access all sorts of articles without having to subscribe or pay for them!

But also. Memes. He loves them. What, you don't think an old man from the 60s and 70s who has done many different drugs and has studied anomalies and has been to a shitty college and has traveled the multiverse would be weirded out by internet humor? My dear, he thrives in it! Hell, he's learned quickly how to make them and posts them regularly. He's pretty amused by how his followers believe that some of them are just absurd jokes and not events he's actually experienced. One day, he'll reveal the truth. But he has to figure out how.

Speaking of, he and Fiddleford has been working with the people of Gravity Falls on how to prevent another apocalypse and, with the consent of the anomalies, how to research the unique flora and fauna and strange happenings in this part of Oregon.

He, Stan, and Fiddleford now all live together in Fidds new estate! The extra rooms have been turned either into guest rooms, entertainment rooms, or academic archives. AND THERE IS STILL MORE ROOM?? Fiddleford, you've truly succeeded! Ford is not only extremely happy with his friend's fortune, but he's also grateful that he gets to share it with him.

Of course, Ford loves his alone time. All the more reason why he appreciates living in a mansion with his beloveds instead of a cramped cabin (seriously, that thing is massive! And yet, it's still too small for such a large and outgoing family). It is a bit too big, though. Hell, it's not a mansion. It's a palace! He's discussed with Fidds about it, leading to a map in every room and hall (with a little "You are here" dot in each one) and a PA system next to it. With some extra work, magic, and rummaging through the alien ship, there is now quick travel throughout the estate as well! Just... hold on to the railing while you're at it. And your stomach.

[prettyinpwn]

Hello, hello!

I just wanna know more of your headcanons about Jheselbraum, I really like her (even she doesn't appear so much)

And, more specifically, what relationship do you think she have with the Axolotl? Personally, I think she have a totally devotation for Axolotl and will do everything for him.

Yay, I'd love to share my Jheselbraum headcanons! Thank you for asking. :D I'll split them into "likely, based on other factors/evidence" and "fanfic level headcanons without evidence". I'll put them under a cut since I've got a lot.

Evidence based/likely headcanons:

We know for sure she is a former Henchmaniac and knew Bill personally, and The Book of Bill's scratched out text by her entry seems like it might imply she helped discover/pass along the the portal technology to Bill (that he then used to try to manipulate humans into building). I'm not 100% sure she invented it, but she's definitely a smart cookie for being able to understand it, at the very least. Plus, you know, knowing how to do cranial surgery on Ford to implant the metal plate probably takes a lot of skill and smarts, too. So I feel like she is very scientific minded, intelligent, and analytical due to these factors. She's like an alien Ford, perhaps why they got along so well when they met; Ford - being at his IQ level - might have felt like he'd finally found someone he could relate to, as genius level people tend to feel alienated. Especially if he found out she was behind the portal tech; his respect level for her would go waaaaay up. Like most people would go blank faced at Ford's jokes (like that one in The Book of Bill he tries to say to the waitress and she's just weirded out), but Jheselbraum gets him. Also, you know, extra eyes, extra fingers, isolated, both have a negative history with Bill... they might have a lot in common. Which is why I feel like JheselFord is an underrated very positive ship, but oh well.

She had a major falling out with Bill and will do anything to mess with his plans and help anyone who he tries to deceive, hence her title "unswerving". I think their falling out was likely over the portal design, where she wanted it used for good, whereas Bill was like, "Hey, let's destroy a dimension with this.", and Jheselbraum realized then she'd been used, just like Bill used everyone else he's ever known. So she tried to escape him and he probably pulled the same tactics on her he pulled on Ford. I feel like that's why she wanted to help Ford those thirty years he was gone, and why she helps the other Henchmaniacs escape Bill after the events of the show (and they end up in, go figure, reality).

So because Jhes knows that reality exists - as that's where she sent the Henchmaniacs - I feel like she has a very, very vast knowledge on the Multiverse and how it works. I think this is a combination of her intelligence plus her connection to the Axolotl.

I'm pretty sure though that she's religiously devoted to the Axolotl, too, given the way she has his depiction all over her mountain shrine/temple that Ford visits in Dimension 52 (also, Ford literally calls it a shrine, which implies a holy place). So she's sort of like a mix between a scientist and a monk/oracle of sorts. There are a lot of Greek allusions in Ford's story (comparing himself to Icarus, calling Bill his "muse" like how Homer calls upon muses in The Odyssey to inspire him to write, Odysseus himself was lost away from home for twenty years sort of like Ford's thirty years, etc), and so I almost think she functions like the Oracle of Delphi did, but instead of Apollo, she's an Oracle for the Axolotl. She speaks of the future and speaks for the Axolotl to mortals, and the Axolotl is described as the "opposite of Bill", so that means just another reason to oppose Bill if her god does.

Because the god she serves is the "opposite of Bill", well... to figure out what that means, let's establish what Bill represents: chaos, holding onto the past, nightmares, fire, lightning, disorder, etc. So the Axolotl I'd think represents order and balance, water (also because amphibian yanno), dreams, light, etc, those kinds of things. I also would argue healing, given that Jheselbraum knows how to heal Ford and perform surgery, and axolotls are well-known for their regenerative properties. Jhes' depiction in Journal 3 shows lots of bubbles behind her, so I picture a lot of water elements in her shrine's design. Like a dreamy, watery, light influenced place with Axolotl banners everywhere.

As for her personality based on all of the above, definitely intelligent, quiet, serious, but warm hearted and caring. She's like a nurse mixed with a scientist mixed with a monk.

Okay, now for my fanfic level headcanons with little to no evidence:

The fact that Ford ran into people that said 'praise the Axolotl' out in the Multiverse, that the Axolotl has an oracle like Jheselbraum who lives in a shrine, and his general power level, yeah... the Axolotl is like the Gravity Falls version of a god. So I'd like to think there's probably a Multiverse-wide religion around the Axolotl as a being that represents balance and dreams and healing and light. I think the Multiverse can be a very dark and chaotic place, hence why beings might want to believe in a deity that helps keep chaos at bay. Tying this in with the themes of Gravity Falls, I don't think the setting lends itself so much to evil vs. good struggles, but more chaos vs. order, which is represented en masse by the Axolotl (order and balance) vs. entities like Bill (chaos).

Oh boy, we're gettin' real fanfiction-ey here, but goddammit, I want there to be a whole order of servants to the Axolotl, and Jheselbraum being just one. How badass would that be? My headcanon is there are multiple servants. Some are just followers that create temples/shrines like clergyfolk across the Multiverse, and some are chosen actual servants, like a font for the Axolotl's power. I think Jheselbraum is a chosen servant, leading me to my next headcanon...

Bill tended to pick Henchmaniacs by their inability to fit in with their societies, and this is also why he targeted Ford, so extend that logic to Jheselbraum, well... she probably didn't fit in with her society. Either they tended to not like her scientific aptitude, or the opposite; overly scientific and didn't appreciate her ability to see the future. So she likely was an outcast. That means her race is either highly scientific or highly spiritual, and Jheselbraum (at least at her current age) represents what her culture couldn't achieve: a personality that balances the two. For some reason, I want to think she's the last of her race, but I'm not sure why. Maybe some sort of accident she didn't mean to cause, or maybe Bill orchestrated some chaos and it forced her to join him, and then later she realized he was part of the reason? I can just picture it now, her all pissed finding out he caused the destruction of her race, and Bill just shrugging and being like, "Those guys were backwards anyways, you didn't need them! I did you a favor, Jhes! I liberated you, just like I liberated myself from my own dimension." /cue holding a real bad grudge against Bill

I think Jheselbraum didn't find the Axolotl until after she left Bill, though. Maybe desperate to get away from him, she went to an Axolotl temple and he chose her as a servant there, much to her surprise. And since then, like you said, she's been utterly devoted to him for keeping her safe from Bill and giving her power to help others avoid him. And Bill won't touch her with a ten foot pole now, because Big Frilly doesn't like when you mess with his servants. Also, Bill's probably jealous she found a way to process her trauma and leave him behind; like family was Ford's cure for his trauma, faith was Jheselbraum's cure. Bill... hasn't found one, obviously. And it'd be a very, VERY cold day in hell before Bill bowed down to Big Frilly. That's probably another reason Bill hates the Axolotl: he "took" one of his Henchmaniacs and Bill is pissed that Jheselbraum is devoted to his enemy now.

I think she gets her visions of the future from dreams, due to the Axolotl's (at least, my headcanoned) connection to dreams. She's like an Edgar Cayce. Although there ain't no stinkin' way she doesn't also have a Tarot deck (or the Multiverse equivalent). Sure, I'm biased because I'm a huge Tarot nut, but I doubt she goes anywhere without a deck. And maybe she has an addiction to collecting them, totally not speaking from my own experience. I picture that while Ford was healing at her shrine, she often would mindlessly shuffle her decks, and the sound probably soothed him because his mother was a Tarot reader, so it reminded him of his childhood.

She drinks alien teas. Don't ask me why.

Apparently... she's green? For years we all headcanoned her as like... purple, blue, or white and pink like the Axolotl, but TBOB showed her as very earth-toned in her whole palette. Because of this, I tend to picture her species/culture as either mountain dwelling (hence why her shrine is on a mountaintop) or from a very verdant biome, like swamp, jungle, or forests in general.

I feel like she's very well-known throughout the Multiverse as like a folk hero or legend. Like not many people have found her or seen her or know her true name, but they do know of a famous Oracle of the Axolotl. I'm not saying she's like... a saint-level revered figure, but she's someone to try to find if you need help.

I feel like, as an extension of being a servant to a god of light and dreams, that also means a devotion to creativity, so I picture her as musical and artistic as well. Maybe playing an instrument from her home dimension (I picture a plucked instrument for some reason, going with the Greek/oracle theme let's just say it's a blend of a lyre and something else), as well as weaving tapestries (hence all the Axolotl banners in her shrine). This also extends to a focus on healing, hence how she helped Ford.

I think Ford would have struggled at first with her being an Oracle. He's Mr. Science, and his mother was a fortune teller, and although we never really hear his opinion on Caryn selling readings, Stan at least called her a "pathological liar". That, and when the fortune teller in Gravity Falls read his cards, Ford was adamant that they were a lie (yeah, because he was in that picture and didn't like it cough). So he has to wrestle with this person who understands him and his scientific brain and things like the portal, yet is something he - as a scientist - thinks is complete bunk. And then she just keeps knowing things she shouldn't and Ford just grumps and mutters as Jheselbraum is laughing away. She's like a puzzle he can't figure out. "How is she both so religious and scientific? How can she understand things like the portal if she believes in things so illogical, like Tarot readings and an amphibian god?" /Ford mad but also so damn curious he can't stop thinking about it.

As for what she looks like, I always liked this depiction of her form:

Credit to uberbee for the art. Horse-bug legs for the win.

So like this, but... teal-ish green with yellow eyes, and I think her robes probably are longer to the floor. I'm also not sure she has the frills like the Axolotl, given that my headcanon is that her species is terrestrial and not aquatic, but hey, maybe if there are a lot of swamps or bodies of water on her home world/dimension, they adapted to watery conditions?

So... yeah. Those are my gazillion headcanons about Jheselbraum (and the Axolotl, to an extent). Now I want to create a Jhes/Axolotl themed Tarot deck, man.

[ckret2]

Does Bill know the Oracle? What’s he think of her and her prophecies? (Particularly her prophecies about his death)

I haven't put a lot of thought into the Oracle yet, so I might change my mind on this later as I develop my headcanons, but:

Currently, I imagine that the Oracle's position is kind of like, the Oracle of Delphi: super important politically to the mortals who consulted with her as a messenger of the divine; but just a mortal herself with a mortal lifespan, and since she's conveying messages from the divine, it's usually stuff the divines already know about.

If, to Bill, the Axolotl is the pro bono defense attorney he never asked to have, then to him the Oracle is not even the Axolotl's paralegal assistant, not even the Axolotl's secretary, not even the Axolotl's intern; she's like a hobbyist news blogger who occasionally hangs out with the Axolotl at a coffee shop to talk about his current court cases and then quote excerpts of their conversations on her personal twitter; and also the twitter is being run by a new person every four months. (Mortal lifespans are short to Bill.)

For wee mortals like Ford, somebody sharing eons-old information from a potentially-divine entity is an insider with access to occult secrets he could never find on his own. But for a powerful immortal like Bill who regularly moves amongst eons-old social circles, the Oracle isn't an insider; she's an outsider on the fringe of the group with a loose acquaintanceship with one of Bill's acquaintances.

So he doesn't care much about her prophecies. What counts as a "prophecy" for a one-lifespan three-dimensional five-sense skin puppet is "chatting about work" for the Axolotl—an entity who, like Bill, probably has the ability to casually see (at least a little bit of at least one version of) the future.

Historically, the things he's heard about himself through the Oracle are usually like "hey Bill did you hear the Oracle is saying the Green Soup Planet is gonna be sucked into the Nightmare Realm and you're gonna blow it up??" "Aw WHAT, I've been looking forward to blowing it up for centuries. Now the residents are gonna evacuate first. The Axolotl is such a snitch." He thinks the odds she'd learn something important to him are slim.

I also imagine that her "you have the face of the man destined to destroy Bill" isn't some set-in-stone million-year-old prophecy, but rather, something the Axolotl might've said to her like a year ago; and from the Axolotl's perspective the conversation might've been more like "oh hey, clear your schedule next April, it looks like you're gonna get a visit from somebody with the face of the guy who's currently forecasted to kill Bill"—as casually as though he'd checked the weather forecast, saw it's gonna rain tomorrow, and reminded a friend to pack an umbrella.

Ten, twenty years before Ford met the Oracle, the Pines weren't destined to kill Bill, although it was possible; but due to Bill's actions and Ford's reactions and the ripple effects on Stan and the Pines and Gravity Falls, that has now become the most probable future for Bill. Like a weather forecast that can only guess at 50/50 odds of rain next week, but 95% odds of rain tomorrow. The Oracle learned the face of the man (currently) destined to kill Bill (based on the most recent view of the future) only once it became both likely AND relevant so she could help out that guy.

For all those reasons—the Oracle's relatively unimportant position in Bill's eye (as somebody who "only" passes on info from the Axolotl to other mortals), the fact that most of the Oracle's info and prophecies concern things that are already common knowledge to Bill, and the recency of this prophecy—Bill doesn't usually pay attention to what the current Oracle is doing/saying and never heard that the Axolotl told her that Ford (or Stan) is destined to kill him.

He probably doesn't even know the name of the current Oracle. If Ford ever repeats something he learned from Jheselbraum and Bill asks how he learned that and Ford says the Oracle, Bill would be like "ugh, the Axolotl is gossiping about me with mortals AGAIN??" What a snitch.