#helmet transcripts

[ommatidium]

TRANSCRIPT OF FILE "2023_05_23_19_12.mp3"

[Voulez-Vous by ABBA plays]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Humming] You know what I mean!

OCELLPHONE: You do know that's not how you spell helmet, right?

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: What the fuck! [Rustling] [Static]

OCELLPHONE: Hello?

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Static stops] Uh. Hello?

OCELLPHONE: Did you hear my question? You spelled it H-E-M-L-E-T. "Hemlet." It sounds like Hamlet's less popular nephew.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Um. Thanks for the correction, I guess? Who is this, how did you connect to my-

OCELLPHONE: Your password is literally 123password. That's the password they teach you not to have in like Pre-K.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: I was banking on reverse psychology when I picked it to be frank. I'm not Frank, I'm Spider-man! [Laughter]

OCELLPHONE: Ha ha, that's very funny! Spider-man has a hyphen in it, man. I doubt he would actually misspell his name.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: What? No it doesn't?

OCELLPHONE: That's how literally every single paper spells it!

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Yeah! And they also say I'm a puppy hating terrorist! They're wrong about a bunch of things!

OCELLPHONE: Yeah, yeah whatever you sa-

OCELLPHONE: [Silence]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Wind blowing] [Rustling] You good? Cut out there.

OCELLPHONE: Fine. Tell y'what "Spider-Man."

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Can hear the air quotes from Brooklyn, but carry on.

OCELLPHONE: If you're really who you say you are-

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: I don't have to prove that to you!

OCELLPHONE: -And not some sad guy just pretending to be out of boredom or loneliness or whatever-

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Ow, okay, that would hurt if it were true.

OCELLPHONE: -Raise your left hand.

[Silence]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: What? Are you watching me right now? I don't- I can't feel-

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: I did it, for the record!

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: You're an odd one, you know that?

[Silence]

OCELLPHONE: Holy fucking shit.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Yep!Surprise, I guess. Where are you?

OCELLPHONE: [Coughing] Uh. Um. Around. Don't worry about it.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: I'm worried about it!

[A loud crash can be heard from both inputs]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Fuck! [Rustling] [Thwip] [Wind blowing]

OCELLPHONE: What the hell was that?

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Over the wind] No clue, I'm going to check it out though. Uh. I'm gonna be out of range soon I think?

OCELLPHONE: Alright, be safe out there.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Never am! But yeah, I won't be able to [Static] you. [Wind blowing] [More static]

OCELLPHONE: That's alright, you have- y'know- a whole thing to deal with.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: That's one way to put it. [Static] -the fuck is that thing?! Listen, I enjoyed chatting, stranger. Even if [Static] -insulting me half the time.

OCELLPHONE: Part of my charm. It's Ocelli. By the way. Not a stranger anymore.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Nice [Static] Ocelli! Stay out of [Static] -of Brooklyn. Hope you weren't planning [Static] Coney Island [Static].

OCELLPHONE: Stay out of Brooklyn, got it, already do that.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Static]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Static]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Static]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Static]

OCELLPHONE: Okay Google, show me fastest route to Brooklyn by bike.

[oscahpitlane]

Post Abu Dhabi GP

[todays-xkcd]

We're considering installing a pressurization system to keep the tanks at constant pressure solely to deter them.

Storage Tanks [Explained]

Transcript

[Two characters wearing helmets are standing on scaffolding next to two large tanks labeled "Tank #3" and "Tank #4", with the person on the left talking. Miss Lenhart has drilled a hole into the base of Tank #4 with liquid pouring out of it and she is running away with the drill.] Left person with helmet: As head of security, your primary task is to monitor the storage tanks and watch for calculus teachers trying to drill holes in their bases.

[no-144444]

married man- l.hamilton

Day 4 of fic-tober! fic-tober masterlist

summary: Married? Maybe. But why does everyone else need to know? 

pairing: lewis hamilton x indycardriver! fem! reader

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Lewis smiled as you walked into his driver’s room. It had been literal months since you’d last seen each other in person, months since you’d been in his sights in general, and a year since you’d been at a race. 

“Don’t you look pretty,” he smiled, wrapping his hands around your waist as you chuckled. 

“I could say the same for you,” you smiled, bringing a hand up to play with his hair. “Get ‘em retwisted recently?”

He nodded. “Had to look good for you,” he joked. 

You laughed. “You’re too good to me.”

He pressed his lips to yours, and man, did it feel right. You hadn't been with him for months. You missed your husband, and he missed you right back. His hands slid lower, gripping your ass as he sighed into your lips. “Missed you so much,” he mumbled. “Too long to not see you.”

It had been a very long time. You two lived together in Monaco, but you were successful in your own right. You were part of the Indycar racing series. You loved Indycar, and truly had no intention to pivot into F1. You were an American after all, born and raised out in Marfa, Texas. The seasons were never going to match up, but you and Lewis worked damn hard to make your relationship work, and work well. You texted everyday, called every second day for at least an hour, and made it a habit to see each other at least every 4 months. You’d gone longer this time, 6 months, since both of you were too busy with work or holidays or something else. But now, the Indycar season is over, you were the victor, and you planned to come to the rest of the F1 races, under the guise of being Carmen’s friend, not Lewis’s wife. No one really knew you two even knew each other, let alone got married 2 years ago.  

“I missed you too,” you smiled as he pressed kisses down your neck. “We can’t let it go this long again.” 

“I promise it won’t,” he sighed. “Missed having you here. It’s been a tough fucking season.” 

“I know baby,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright,” he shrugged. “Ferrari better be the right move next year.”

“It will be. You’ll win your 8th and then you can come be my WAG in Indycar,” you smiled, making him laugh. 

“Always with the solutions,” he chuckled. “Who says I’m settling with 8?”

“Me. You’re getting old, baby. If you want little Hamiltons’ running around, then you’d better be at home to take care of them,” you smiled, though stern in your tone. 

“Yes ma’am,” he smiled. “Man, I love you.”

“I love you too, now, I’ll see you later, yeah?” 

“See you at the finish line my love,” he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek before you left. 

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He’d done it again, another win, somehow. Through the fucking Austin heat, he’d pulled through with that piece of shit strategy from Mercedes. You cheered in the paddock, all cameras on you, but you didn’t care. He’d won yet another GP and you were hardly going to gently clap. 

You ran up to the Parc Fermé with Carmen, both ecstatic at the result (George got P2). You watched in awe as he left the car, celebrating with the team. You’d missed his latest victory in Silverstone and you were delighted to not have missed this one. He ran over to the team, searching only for you. 

“Where’s Y/n?!” he shouted over the cheering. You grabbed at his arm and smiled when he finally made eye contact with you. Suddenly he helmet was pulled off, his lips were on yours,  you were over the barricade and in his arms. 

“Lewis!” you scolded with a smile, pulling away. “What are you doing?”

“Celebrating with my beautiful wife,” he smirked. 

It was difficult to stay mad at him when he was looking at you like you hung the stars just for him. 

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Transcription of Lewis Hamilton’s GQ Sports interview:

GQ: So, Lewis, another win in Austin this time, how did it feel?

Lewis: It was amazing, I mean there was just so much riding on the moment, and it gave us the extra points to get up to Ferrari. There’s such a great atmosphere at places like Austin, especially since it’s a Sprint race and a Feature race, it means a lot to get to win both. 

GQ: And now we’d like to talk about the obvious elephant in the room

Lewis: And what’s that? (chuckling)

GQ: Your secret relationship with Indycar winner Y/n Y/l/n?

Lewis: It’s Y/n Hamilton, actually, and yes, what about it?

GQ: You’re married?

Lewis: Past 2 years, but we’ve been dating for 5. Best 5 years of my life. 

GQ: How did you keep this from the press?

Lewis: Well, we’ve always been the kind of people who do our own thing, and we never really felt the need to be super open about our relationship because of that. We’re both introverts and we both enjoy what little privacy we can have in our mad world, and I think that’s another reason we didn’t tell anyone. We’re also not stupid. Sometimes relationships don’t work out, it’s happened to everyone, and we didn’t want to tell anyone until we were serious about each other, and by then, we were engaged and while we became less careful with hiding our relationship, we’re naturally private people, so it just… never slipped out I guess (shrugging). 

GQ: And what has your reaction been like to the reception of your relationship?

Lewis: (chuckling) It’s funny to see how the internet sees us now, y’know, it’s pretty amusing to see the edits and the theories and the people swearing they’ve known from the start. Honestly I’m really enjoying it. So is she. 

GQ: How did you two meet?

Lewis: I think it was actually Austin. Whenever we’re in America we usually get roped into meeting the Indycar side of our teams, if we have one, and she was just… there when I went to the track. It was so ridiculous, I was asking everyone who she was, and like, everything about her, it was bordering on embarrassing. 

GQ: What drew you to her?

Lewis: She’s just one of those people you meet once and know you can’t live without. She was so kind, and she was helping another team with their car because she’s an engineer, and she was literally being told off by her boss right then and there, and all she said back was, ‘If they have no car, they have no race. They’re not even close to us in the championship, all I’m doing is helping them put the thing back together. Have a bit of empathy’. I knew I was a goner. I just wanted to know everything about her. 

GQ: She’s a woman of the people? 

Lewis: She’s always helping people. We’re philanthropists when we’re not racing and she teaches free classes on engineering in the deep south to get kids out of poverty. They don’t even know who she is, she’s just their teacher, same as anyone else. It’s pretty incredible stuff. 

GQ: Wow, that sounds amazing. She sounds like a very incredible woman.

Lewis: She is. 

GQ: Finally, why did you keep this from everyone?

Lewis: Why shouldn’t we? When you’re in the public eye, everyone knows everything about you, and you’re just supposed to deal with that. We both just wanted something for ourselves rather than to broadcast absolutely everything. I’m deeply uninterested in giving the media more things to write about, and so is she. The only media about us we should be hearing is our race results, not who we’re dating and I think we’ve forgotten that in the past few years. It’s all become quite the popularity contest, and I’m getting tired of playing it.

GQ: Thank you for your time.

Lewis: You too.

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

fic-tober masterlist

taglist: @anotherapollokid @theseerbetweenus @simbaaas-stuff @5sospenguinqueen

[peearrdee]

PHILZA MINECRAFT FIGHTING IN THE FOOLIGETTA TRENCHES WITH US WAS NOT ON MY SQUIDCRAFT BINGO CARD

Full transcript and video description under the cut (broken into smaller paragraphs rather than one big text block)

[Philza’s facecam is fullscreen as he talks to his chat.]

Philza: Who would immediately start flirting with Foolish? [he pauses, then chuckles] Vegetta. Is it possible— [laughs] Now hear— hear me out, okay? Call me stupid, call me whatever… Is it possible that Vegetta is a worker helping with the tournament? And he just saw Foolish, and he just… couldn’t help himself..? [he laughs again] That would be insane.

Philza: Oh my god, imagine— Imagine he takes off his fucking helmet and it’s literally Vegetta, and Foolish is there, and they just start making out.

Philza: [He leans back in his chair, laughing hard.] Like, everyone’s in the room with all the beds, and Foolish is by the door like— [He mimes banging or knocking on a door.] And he comes out and they just make out in a corner, like that’s just a whole segment of the tournament. Twitch Rivals just have to turn a blind eye, like “Oop, we can’t look at that—” [Philza mimes pointing at something off camera, then glancing back over his shoulder.] “Something’s happening over here, guys… Are they still— Something’s still happening over here, guys. We’re gonna be right back, after this ad break.”

Philza: [He cuts himself off with another laugh.] Ohh my god, that’d be amazing. This is so fun, man, this is so fuckin’ fun.

[End transcript and video description.]

[sargeantposting]

Logan: And I couldn't thank my mechanic enough. And also my parents, uh, they really helped me to be able to win the world championship and it’s just an amazing feeling.  Interviewer: I mean, did you, did you, what did you do when you found out you won? Did you call your friends at home? Did you phone your grandpa? What did you get up to?  Logan: Uh, no, I just gave my mom and dad a really big hug. Interviewer: Is it still sinking in now?  Logan: Yeah, it's, it's a really emotional thing. [full transcript continues below cut]

Interviewer: I can imagine. I can imagine. You said that your mechanic Scott and also your driver Coach Gary really helped you along the way. How did, how did they do that?  Logan: Um, well, my driver coach Gary, he helped me a lot. Of course, he manages everything and he always keeps me calm before the races and just makes sure I'm always at my best. And Scott, of course, he always just makes sure the cart is perfect, make sure all the tire pressures are good and yeah, that's about it.  Interviewer: What's the difference before you get into the race? You said he keeps you calm and then when you put your helmet and you're actually sitting in the car. How do you feel? What's the difference?  Logan: Well, until the engines start, it's a bit, it was, it was a bit nerve wracking. But once the engines start, you forget about everything and you're ready.  Interviewer: And do you, do you just believe that you can beat all of your fellow races because sometimes some of those races there's like 90 odd other kids aren't there? Logan: Yeah, that weekend I was feeling really confident because I had been quick the whole week and I had won the pre-final. So I, yes, I did believe I could win.  Interviewer: Tell me about when you were a little bit younger than you are now. You're only 14 now. But why racing, why, why is this so important to you?  Logan: Um, well, my dad bought me a, a racing kart when I was five years old and we started from there. We thought it would just be like a little hobby and, uh, it ended up becoming like a professional thing we did. So. Interviewer: So, so was there a moment when you, when you or your dad just thought ‘Wow, I'm quick. I can do this’?  Logan: Um, well, not really. We just kept progressing and then, um, when we, when we decided to come to Europe to race, um, we moved to Switzerland and from then on we were just, uh, going to school, I started going to school in Switzerland. And, yeah, and then we just kept going and then ended up like this.  Interviewer: Do you have any other hobbies? Can you fit anything else in?  Logan: Um, well, other than school it's really hard. But when I get my breaks and I go back to Florida for, um, I like to go fishing a lot and, yeah, that's what I do. Mostly.  Interviewer: Nice, nice and relaxing. Schumacher, Vettel and Senna are just some of your idols, aren't they? What is it about them that you love?  Logan: Uh, just like the legacy that they've built and how, how good they were.  Interviewer: So, is that what you want to achieve?  Logan: Yeah, definitely.  Interviewer: Where do you want to go from here?  Logan: Um, well, next year I'll be racing in KF and then after that I'll try and make my way to Formula One.  Interviewer: And do you think if you achieved getting to Formula One, do you think you could match maybe Lewis Hamilton or Sebastian Vettel's four titles or even Michael's?  Logan: Well, we're far away away from that. But, um, hopefully, yeah, we'll see.  Interviewer: You must think about it though. Teenagers always think about stuff like this, don't they?  Logan: Yeah, of course. But it's a long way away. So I, I'm just focused on next year.  Interviewer: Well, we wish you lots of luck for next year and well done. Logan: Thank you very much.

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

A vile trickster sent me a nefarious package that unleashed a torrent of glitter upon myself and my home!

I have spent the last 3 hours meticulously using masking tape to extract the microplastics from my helmet.

Audio Source

gif for anyone who wants it

secret bonus audio of him opening the glitter bomb

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

Some headcanons I have about King Dedede, Captain Vul, and their species!

Many, many millions of years before the tragedy that befell the dinosaurs, alien researchers tried to study them, and did not plan for their escape from the research facility, and eventual takeover of the planet! Through many years of adaptation to the new planet, you see the feathers and bird-like feathers we know and love in King Dedede and others!

This is related to my OC Sir Meteor, who you can vote for here ! 💫🦖☄️

Transcript + More below the cut below

Vestigial tail + spikes

A far cry from the reptile tails of old, the tails of current day are stubby with little movement, and in a few generations will likely be completely gone.

These guys are descendants of dinosaurs! The tails had been used for mobility, balance, but especially fighting. This connotation created ripples in the culture of what the vestigial tail means for avians, no matter how stubby and useless it is in present day! Since hollow bones had started to emerge in the species, anything that could possibly crush them is considered taboo, including showing off tails freely. A lot of them pretend they don’t exist!

Prehensile feathers

The feathers at the tip of the wings are modified fingers that can grab! If you were to push back the feathers, you would even see vestigial talons that are either too small to be any threat, or kept trip for proper appearance. All of the avians have thumb-like digits as well, but their grip is not a precise as our own.

Avians of high social standing often commission and wear enchanted gloves to aid with their weak grip, and it is why Dedede isn’t seen with his feathers and can use his hammer!

Spines + tail usually covered up

For this study, I focused on just the bodies themselves, but i wanna delve deeper into the culture they have! In particular clothing is important. They usually keep their tail and spines covered up for modesty and cultural norms—the spines are seen as weapons and only shown when living a life of battle! Even Dedede who gets into fights often doesn’t want to show them, but there is exceptions. The gray star warrior having their tail out is due to the position they have in the army. They dedicate their life to a battle. Other factors include needing high mobility! Some avians in gymnastics or on rescue teams, and other professions where mobility is essential are exempt from this rule, but they often have a robe or cover-up when not performing the task.

For Dedede: adapted to be a water-type bird, has flippers and webbed feet, and is unable to fly. His eyes are bigger than normal for the purpose of being able to see in dark waters with barely any light, although the trade off is his long distance vision leaves much to be lacking. His choice of hammer as a weapon is barely any thought to us, but a taboo one in avian society. His distance from any others of his kind is in part due to his refusal to put it down.

For Vul: he is a an avian capable of flight!! This is a rarer trait. He feels at home in the sky, and his eyes even in his old age are unparalleled to anyone else in his crew. Vul, like dedede, normally covers his tail, especially because even though he lives a life of battle, he is rather old fashioned and does not want to admit it, despite being captain to a crew of knights.

For the Star Warrior: a unnamed individual who would turn heads if they walked on their home planet looking like that. Metal armor in of itself is unusual because most avians hate to weight themselves down too much to fly, even if they aren’t a flying type. Under the helmet they have a bright red crest, and for the long legs I based them off of a Sandhill Crane. Their long legs are the best example of another trait I didn’t get to touch on yet: these guys have feathers covering the legs! Where in real life birds usually have scales, these guys have a gene which gives them feathers everywhere but the feet. Similar to silkie chickens or pigeons with muffs!

Most of these guys have some kind of feathered crest above their eyes! It helps keep sun and water out of their face, similar to eyebrows.

Page 2: a doodle comic with the story of how avians were created, along with a visual of them being somewhere between a dinosaur and bird

I have more but MAN this is getting too long

[tjodity]

c!Tommy having thoughts and feelings about c!Tubbo's Presidential Suit for Two Minutes

(TW for brief appearances of Wilbur Soot.)

(Transcript below cut.)

(Clip 1 Begins. It's Tubbo's POV of Jschlatt's Funeral. Tubbo sits in the front pew as Badboyhalo prepares at the altar. Tommy runs in circles around the pews. Tubbo rejoins the game with his Presidential skin with the jacket disabled.)

TUBBO (laughing): Did you-Did you really just say "Bow House"?

TOMMY: Jesus...BOW HOUSE, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE-oh you look classy Tubbo.

TUBBO: Thank you.

(Clip 1 ends.)

(Clip 2 begins. The clip is from the same stream, still at the funeral. Everyone is in similar positions aside from Tommy, who has seated himself beside Tubbo.)

BAD: Is everybody here? Would everybody please put on formal attire? Tubbo, that's a very nice suit, I like it.

TUBBO: Thank you! Wilbur made it for me!

BAD: It's very nice.

SAM: You didn't say anything about my suit!

BAD: Your's is very good to, Awesamdude. Wait, Awesam, you're just wearing armor-

(Tommy turns to look at Tubbo. The text "Proceeds to stare at Tubbo" appears in yellow at the bottom of the screen in asterisks. Tommy looks at Tubbo uninterrupted for the rest of the clip while Tubbo watches Quackity and Badboyhalo get into an altercation on the altar. At one point Tommy removes his helmet. Tubbo eventually notices his staring and turns to look at him.)

TUBBO (quietly, laughing): Why are you looking at me like that, Tommy?

TOMMY: I'm not.

TUBBO: Okay. (Turning his attention back to the altar) Oh my God, start the Goddamn funeral!

BAD: Okay, alright, everybody, uh-

(Clip 2 ends.)

(Clip 3 begins. It's a clip from Tommy's perspective as he walks off of the Prime Path and into the hills surrounding New L'Manberg. Tubbo and Ghostbur are walking ahead of him. Tubbo is in his Presidential skin and Tommy is wearing his Suit skin.)

TOMMY: Wait can you guys slow down? I'm- Hey Tubbo let's take off our fancy dresses now.

(White text saying "Why does he call them that" briefly appears on the bottom of the screen as Tommy removes his suit.)

TUBBO: Uh- Mine's on twenty-four seven, glued.

TOMMY: Oh. That's...

GHOSTBUR: No, you can take it off, it's just a white shirt under.

TUBBO: Oh, really?

(Tubbo begins taking off his suit jacket while Tommy turns to face him.)

TOMMY: Hey Tubbo that's, you know what that is-(Gasps) OH my God! You look..classy. The tie's still there, though.

TUBBO (overlapping): Thank you! I feel classy. I quite like the tie.

(Clip 3 ends.)

(Clip 4 begins. The clip is from Tubbo's perspective. Tommy is leading him from the Prime Path towards the bench.)

TOMMY: Um...Do you wanna sit down on the...

TUBBO: I would quite like to sit down on the bench.

(They sit.)

TOMMY: It's been-...You're well dressed.

TUBBO: Thank you, you're looking good yourself.

TOMMY: Oh....It's been uhm-

(TUBBO removes his jacket.)

TOMMY: Listen, I know-Oh, you've taken it off.

TUBBO: Yeah.

(Clip 4 ends.)

[autisticlalna]

hm.

ruby stream today was fun! but there was... some weird. and by weird i mean lore hints.

the one that came up a few times is that their armor has new names! their elytra is back to being Lightning Rod (Rue misplaced it for a while), but the sillier names its armor had, and Rue's work uniform, is now Past, Never, Present, and Future.

there was also a comment made about how she was using very specific colors to trim them with. Past, the helmet, is blue. Present, the pants, is purple. Future, the boots, are red. and Never is untrimmed on suggestion from chat, but was going to be either black or white.

sighs. opens Clocktower transcript.

Sapphire: It’s the… past. The future. The now… and the never. Four concepts of time! Just like the four directions. North, south, east, and west. You should know, don’t you.

once again: Cherruby's getting put in the time blender. that's been noted for a while now, but now that he's awake again we're getting more confirmation on it.

there was also a couple other things! Anathra showed Ruby and Doovid around Icekea's break room, and Ruby paid a lot of attention to the clock and compass on display for decoration purposes. especially the clock. normal Ruby behavior at this point tbh, but worth taking note of.

what isn't Ruby behavior is... whatever happened between them and Dr. Tube when they briefly showed up to stop Ruby and Doovid from clowning around in Acacia. first we get Ruby staring at them and saying they remind her of someone-- this could be the whole clone thing, but Ruby immediately in-character clocked them as being Tube, not Trog, and being mysterious about them reminding her of Trog would be weird considering they're both very aware of each other by now.

after fae leaves is when we get the part i don't know what to do with yet besides gesture at it.

Bye Tube! Much love! Ah... Never gonna say b- uh, got to say bye to my own Tube. Hm.

look. Cherruby has been weird ever since che got untubed. there's whatever happened with Endbyco on Avid's stream (link includes the convo abt Sapphire but not Endbyco being sus about "normal kingdom behavior"), there's whatever happened with cher and Yellow in Viking's episode, and now there's this entire interaction with Dr. Tube. Cherruby being weird is very "fork found in kitchen" at this point but, man, what is going on.

now im thinking about my original theory way at the start where Cherruby's mimicry is bleedover from other timelines where she was partnered up with other people. there's definitely some kind of timeline bleed with what's going on between her and Viking. this feels more advanced than that, though.

[ommatidium]

TRANSCRIPT OF FILE "HELMET_AUDIO_06_08_23.mp3"

SPIDER_MAN: [Humming, "The Winner Takes It All" by ABBA]

[Silence] [Indistinct traffic]

SPIDER_MAN: [Sighs]

[Silence] [Indistinct traffic]

[Static]

SPIDER_MAN: Oh! Oh fuck yeah, c'mon, c'mon connect- [Helmet being smacked]

OCELLI: Y'ello? Can you hear me? Spidey?

SPIDER_MAN: Yes! Yes, yes I can hear you! Dude where have you been? I missed you!

OCELLI: Aw, you missed me? [Pause] You missed me?

SPIDER_MAN: Of course I did, I don't get much friendly interaction out here.

OCELLI: Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. I was just out, I do have a life y'know? One that doesn't revolve entirely around you.

SPIDER_MAN: Really? Is that why you have my patrol routes memorized?

OCELLI: I will hang up.

SPIDER_MAN: [Laughing] Wait, no no!

OCELLI: [Laughing] Playing, playing. [Sigh] I had a concussion if you must know. Didn't do your best work with Sir Polkadot last week.

SPIDER_MAN: Fuck, were you there? 'Celli I am so sorry, I completely fucking fumbled with that one. I don't understand what even happened I was so off my game, and people got hurt, you got hurt apparently and- [Grunts] -that weirdo is still out there putting holes in New York or whatever and-

OCELLI: Woah, woah, take a breath Spidey. [Exaggerated breathing]

SPIDER_MAN: [Mimicked exaggerated breathing] [Pause] [Continued breathing] I'm sorry, man.

OCELLI: Hey, you're fine. Happens to New York's best!

SPIDER_MAN: No, I mean yeah about the mini freak-out, but also about the concussion.

OCELLI: Well, self-flagellation isn't going to fix that shit. I'm almost back in working order anyhow, but that's the reason I've been gone.

[Silence]

OCELLI: You know, I didn't mean it when I said that wasn't your best work, right? He was literally ripping portals through the air, no one can blame you for having a bit of trouble.

SPIDER_MAN: Yeah. I guess.

[Silence]

OCELLI: See, I know you're bent out of shape about this because you haven't even commented on the name I gave the guy. C'mon "Sir Polkadot" that's right up your alley in terms of names.

SPIDER_MAN: [Laughing] We're not calling him that.

OCELLI: There is no "we" in this, I'm fucking call him that! I'll get Jameson to call him that, watch!

SPIDER_MAN: You know Jameson? The guy who literally slanders me for fun?

OCELLI: Libel. But yeah, I kinda work for him.

SPIDER_MAN: [Mocking] "Libel."

SPIDER_MAN: [Scoff] You remind me of someone.

OCELLI: Oh, really? Who?

[Silence]

[Silence]

[Silence]

SPIDER_MAN: [Sniffs] Uh-

OCELLI: Sorry, that'd reveal too much of your identity, right?

SPIDER_MAN: Um. Yeah. Right.

[teamnick]

Charles talking about his friendship with Pierre in the Jay Shetty Podcast - transcript under the cut

Jay Shetty: Everyone is quite competitive, like I can't imagine drivers being friends and hanging out afterwards, because…I dont know, I mean you tell me…

Charles Leclerc: Actually I’ve got a really good friend on he grid, Pierre Gasly. We grew up together, we started in karting with our first race together in 2005…

JS: Wow…

CL: …so yeah like 7-8 years old…we did the French Championship together and we became super good friends, our families are super close as well, so we used to go on holidays together…and then we find ourselves in Formula 1 now, so…but trust me, as soon as I close the visor, and I’m with a helmet, he is nobody anymore, and that’s the same for him and we know that! But whenever we are outside the car, we have a really really strong friendship. So you can have friends, but it’s very difficult to create friendships if you didnt know that person before getting into Formula 1, because it’s such a competitive world, everybody wants to have the upper hand, everybody wants to do everything in his own benefit…because at the end we want to win, we want to be the best on track, so…there’s a lot of respect, but we are not giving anything away to the others. And as much as I am friend with Pierre, I’m not giving him any advices or whatsoever. I just want to beat him as much as I want to beat everybody else on track. But lonely sport? I dont think it is.

[todays-xkcd]

Subway refuses to answer my questions about whether it's an International Footlong or a US Survey Footlong. A milligram of sandwich is at stake!

US Survey Foot [Explained]

Transcript

[Closeup on Cueball.] Cueball: We thought it was over. After 60 years of struggle, the US survey foot was dead, deprecated by NIST in 2023.

[Cueball is shown to be talking to Ponytail, Hairy, and Megan. He has a presentation behind him.] Cueball: We thought architects and engineers could rest east, free of the headaches of having two conflicting definitions of the foot that differ by 610 nanometers. International foot: 0.304 800 000 m US survey foot [crossed over in gray] R.I.P.: 0.304 800 609... m

[Cueball points at an image of Black Hat] Cueball: But I bring dire news: Cueball: Someone has started using the US survey foot again.

[Closeup on Cueball again.] Off-panel voice: Why!? Cueball: We don't know. Cueball: Some people just want to drag the world 610nm closer to madness.

[Farther view of Cueball only. He clenches a fist.] Off-panel voice: What can we do!? Cueball: A NIST team is already in the air. We will capture the scofflaw and end this nightmare.

[Two helicopters flying, with mountains in the background.]

Caption: 8,000 miles away [Two operatives in a forest with "NIST" helmets. One talks on a walkie-talkie.] Operative: We've reached the coordinates of the target's device. There's no one here. Voice from walkie-talkie: How!?

Caption: 8,000.016 miles away [Black Hat walking elsewhere in the forest, very close by.] Black Hat: ♫ ♪

[tyrannosaurus-maxy]

“Next question then. Jamie on Instagram says, what do you make of the fallout? I love this question. What do you make of the fallout between Max Verstappen and George Russell? Max saying that he's lost all respect for George after his hysterics in the stewards' office. Yeah, I think Max just loves controversy, doesn't he? I think he thrives off controversy. He had everyone patting him on the back and telling him what a great driver he was after winning four world championships after Vegas. And that won't do for Max Verstappen, I don't think. I think he likes being told that he's doing things wrong or that he's going to mix it with people. And I think it was a bit pot-kettle black when you think back to some of the times this season when he's got on the radio and accused Lando Norris of driving the way he has. But yeah, I just think that's Max's MO. That's what he wants to do. I think he likes being riled under the helmet.”

Just putting this autosport podcast transcript here to record their wild takes - Jake Boxall-Legge, Mark Mann-Bryans, Bryn Lucas

[thisisnotawebsitedotcom-com]

Computer Code: TANTRUM

A transcript between Bill Cipher and Time Baby will be shown.

The text says:

TRANSCRIPT

HEAR THIS, CIPHER! THIS MOMENT IS A NEXUS EVENT, AN INFRACTION POINT BETWEEN ALL TIMELINES. YOU MUST CHOOSE TO TURN BACK NOW. IN EVERY REALITY, YOUR COLLISION WITH EARTH CAUSES CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION ON AN UNFATHOMABLE SCALE!

OH NO! NOT CHAOS! I HATE THAT! LOOK NICK JR, I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT THIS PLANET IS GOING TO SELF-DESTRUCT EVENTUALLY, SO IT MIGHT AS WELL DO IT WITH ME AS BOSS, RIGHT? HOWSABOUT WE DIVVY THIS REALITY UP? I’LL TAKE EARTH, YOU CAN TAKE ALL THE GAS GIANTS, AND I THROW IN THIS BLANKY.

A SEDUCTIVE GAMBIT. BUT FOR THE SAKE OF TIME, I MUST RELENT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT? SODA? I CAN GET YOU SODA. EVEN IF YOUR MOM SAYS YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DRINK IT, I CAN GET IT.

I WAS NOT BORN YESTERDAY

OH HERE WE GO

I WAS FORGED IN THE CRUCIBLE OF REALITY ITSELF, THE LAST SURVIVOR OF THE WAR OF THE TIME GIANTS. MY CELESTIAL CREATORS, GRANDFATHER AND GRANDMOTHER CLOCK, GIFTED ME WITH THE BURDEN OF PROTECTING THE TIMELINE FROM THOSE WHO WOULD DARE UNWEAVE IT.

AWW LOOK AT THAT! YOU SPOKE WITHOUT SPITTING UP ON YOURSELF! LOOK SIPPY CUP, IF YOU’RE SAYING REALITY ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US, I AGREE! YOU MIGHT WANNA PUT ON A SAFETY HELMET BECAUSE IM ABOUT TO FIND OUT HOW SOFT BABY SKULLS REALLY ARE.

A FOOLISH STATEMENT. I CANNOT BE KILLED.

WANNA BET?

Ciphers henchmen circled. The Time Agents grabbed their Time Tapes. Time Baby sighed, the weight of the multiverse on his doughy shoulders.

I KNOW YOUR CRIMES, CIPHER. TAKING A NEW HOME WILL NOT MAKE UP FOR THE ONE YOU’VE LOST. WHAT YOU DID TO THE COUNTLESS SOULS OF EUCLYDIA-

Cipher stopped in his tracks.

YOU CHOOSE YOUR WORDS VERY. CAREFULLY.

Ciphers henchmen murmured amongst each other, confused. They seemed to have heard conflicting stories about Bill’s past.

“You said you liberated the people of your dimension-”

LIBERATED THEM FROM THEIR BODIES!

DONT LISTEN TO HIM! HE’S A BABY! HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SAY SPAGHETTI!

I DO TOO

SAY IT

...

PASGHETTI

(TO THE TIME AGENTS) YOU’RE REALLY GONNA FOLLOW THIS GUY?

(SHAKING HIS HEAD IN DISTAIN) WHAT WOULD YOUR PARENTS SAY IF THEY COULD SEE WHAT YOU’VE BECOME. WHAT WOULD SCAL-

ENOUGH TALK! READY TO BE KNOCKED INTO THE LITERAL ICE AGE?

I DO NOT WISH TO FIGHT YOU CIPHER.

Time Baby slowly began to remove his gauntlets.

BUT A BABY’S GOTTA DO... WHAT A BABY’S GOTTA DO

Cipher and TB lunged at each other. It was hard to see the exact nature of the time fight but there were a lot of clocks, portals, and paradoxes involved. At one point someone used nunchucks made out of two Abe Lincolns, and there was a moment where they both clipped through reality jostled the card carrier in Dennis’s backpack. But ultimately Cipher’s henchmaniacs dealt TB a devastating blow. We Time Agents were leaderless, forced to regroup back in 20712.

But we knew this wasn’t over.

No...

It was only a matter of time

END TRANSMISSION

[cheezybiscuits]

Field log: Elliot Manor

Note: The following is an illustration and transcription of audio and video recordings streamed from investigation of ground zero for SCP-468395. Instances of SCP-468395-A will continue to be referred to as Corrupted Security Drones (CSD) despite recent discoveries on their origins as standard drones.

Michelle: You hear that? behind the door over there, there's two voices talking.

Jordan: Yep. Could be the target. Stay on guard, she has weapons.

Team proceeds to the end of the hallway. Agents get into position in front of the doors and Jordan kicks it open.

Tessa Elliot: What-

CSD: Yeah NOPE!

Six rapid gunshots are heard and visual feed is disabled. Only one microphone records the following segment.

[04 level clearance required to access full file. Verify clearance level to continue] (Click keep reading)

Tessa Elliot: Wow…uh…okay…you just killed some SCP staff?

No one speaks for 3 seconds.

CSD: Well…yes! They’re hostile and intend to capture us, right?

Tessa Elliot: What happened to the boot licker you described a minute ago?

There is no talking for another 3.5 seconds and the CSD vents air as if to sigh.

Tessa Elliot: Anyway, back to those questions, so [SCP-468395-1-C] wore my skin huh? Is that why my corpse over there looks fresh from the slaughterhouse?

CSD: That’s correct.

Tessa Elliot: And now some gothy lookin' drone ate Cyn’s core and…survived? And has control of the solver now?

CSD: I’m skeptical of the twerp’s success myself.

Tessa Elliot: (chuckling) You keep calling her a twerp but the more you describe this kid the cooler you make her sound.

CSD: You think N is cool, because you’re kind like that.

Tessa Elliot: Psh, nah. He’s pretty cool, especially with the vampire-angel thing going on now.

CSD: Now you’re demonstrating what I just said.

Tessa Elliot: Do you think N would be cooler if he drove a company car?

CSD: On the condition that he'd get an upgrade for his cognitive processor.

Tessa Elliot: Are you sure you'd like that? You'd get competition for employee of the month.

CSD: Not if leadership and being cool are in the criteria.

Both chuckle.

Once again there is no talking for 3 seconds.

CSD: I have questions too.

Tessa Elliot: Oh?

CSD: How do I know I can trust you’re the real Tessa? You could be an anomalous doppleganger, an illusion, or any other type of deceptive SCP.

Tessa Elliot: Huh. (Pause) You got me there. I can’t exactly prove I’m not any of that. I betcha can tell my fingerprints are different, right?

CSD: And your facial structure has slight differences, along with your brain. Oh and I don’t need to scan you to see you’re 4 centimeters shorter than you should be at your alleged age.

Tessa Elliot: Hm. Well that tracks with me being a clone right? And there’s bound to be differences with how fast they grew my body. As for the height uh…I’m not as exactly well fed as I was from before the apocalypse?

CSD: Okay.  Next question: How does a technical genius that's avoiding the foundation think it would be a good idea to go to ground zero?

Tessa Elliot: I kind of wanted to see what was left of my stuff here.

CSD: How is that enough reason to risk all the dangerous-

They pause yet again. This time for 2 seconds. The CSD sighs again.

CSD: You wanted to look at your own corpse didn’t you?

Tessa Elliot: That and see if Dad’s SCP collection is still here.

CSD: …You know what, that passes as Tessa behavior.

Tessa Elliot: Right! Knew you'd come around!

CSD: Next question. You said you're avoiding bunkers since most of them are extensions of SCP-2000 right now and you'd get caught. How do you expect to survive outside of bunkers? What happens if you’re starving and can’t wait out a six-week glass-dust storm to take off your helmet for food or water?

Tessa Elliot: I got my own shelter for that. But I don’t know how much I can tell you about it.

(Transcribers note: What they’re saying next was sometimes hard to make out because they started talking at the same time and interrupting each other a lot. Francis if you find anything inaccurate here I just want to remind you, minimum wage, minimum effort.)

CSD: What? Why? I was completely transparent with you. That’s not-

Tessa Elliot: I kind of….have my own team I’m working with as you’d say? And, I dunno, you said you’re not working for the foundation right now

CSD: Yes but I wasn’t finished-

Tessa Elliot: And we're both different from the last times we saw each other-

CSD: That's true but I still haven't mentioned-

Tessa Elliot: To be blunt I don’t know who your next boss will be but they definitely won’t be friendly to me.

CSD: Yes but please Tessa wait second!

Tessa Elliot: I-alright.

CSD: (Pause) I said I was between employers, but I meant under the previous circumstances. I-it's different now. You're...alive now. Before, you were gone, I had nowhere to apply. Then I read about SCP-2000, and-

They pause again for 4 seconds.

CSD: As long as you’re alive, you’ll always be my boss, Tessa. Just, please, if you'll accept my application.

The subjects pause again for 6 seconds.

CSD: Wait shit-

Tessa Elliot What? What is it?

CSD: Wireless signal in the corner of my eye- son of a bi-

Audio picks up a single gunshot before disconnecting.

[Additional notes: Tessa Elliot has accessed files on recent 05 council members.  It is a top priority to capture and either amnesticize, or terminate the target.]