#helmet transcripts

[ommatidium]

TRANSCRIPT OF FILE "2023_05_23_19_12.mp3"

[Voulez-Vous by ABBA plays]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Humming] You know what I mean!

OCELLPHONE: You do know that's not how you spell helmet, right?

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: What the fuck! [Rustling] [Static]

OCELLPHONE: Hello?

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Static stops] Uh. Hello?

OCELLPHONE: Did you hear my question? You spelled it H-E-M-L-E-T. "Hemlet." It sounds like Hamlet's less popular nephew.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Um. Thanks for the correction, I guess? Who is this, how did you connect to my-

OCELLPHONE: Your password is literally 123password. That's the password they teach you not to have in like Pre-K.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: I was banking on reverse psychology when I picked it to be frank. I'm not Frank, I'm Spider-man! [Laughter]

OCELLPHONE: Ha ha, that's very funny! Spider-man has a hyphen in it, man. I doubt he would actually misspell his name.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: What? No it doesn't?

OCELLPHONE: That's how literally every single paper spells it!

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Yeah! And they also say I'm a puppy hating terrorist! They're wrong about a bunch of things!

OCELLPHONE: Yeah, yeah whatever you sa-

OCELLPHONE: [Silence]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Wind blowing] [Rustling] You good? Cut out there.

OCELLPHONE: Fine. Tell y'what "Spider-Man."

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Can hear the air quotes from Brooklyn, but carry on.

OCELLPHONE: If you're really who you say you are-

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: I don't have to prove that to you!

OCELLPHONE: -And not some sad guy just pretending to be out of boredom or loneliness or whatever-

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Ow, okay, that would hurt if it were true.

OCELLPHONE: -Raise your left hand.

[Silence]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: What? Are you watching me right now? I don't- I can't feel-

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: I did it, for the record!

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: You're an odd one, you know that?

[Silence]

OCELLPHONE: Holy fucking shit.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Yep!Surprise, I guess. Where are you?

OCELLPHONE: [Coughing] Uh. Um. Around. Don't worry about it.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: I'm worried about it!

[A loud crash can be heard from both inputs]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Fuck! [Rustling] [Thwip] [Wind blowing]

OCELLPHONE: What the hell was that?

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Over the wind] No clue, I'm going to check it out though. Uh. I'm gonna be out of range soon I think?

OCELLPHONE: Alright, be safe out there.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Never am! But yeah, I won't be able to [Static] you. [Wind blowing] [More static]

OCELLPHONE: That's alright, you have- y'know- a whole thing to deal with.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: That's one way to put it. [Static] -the fuck is that thing?! Listen, I enjoyed chatting, stranger. Even if [Static] -insulting me half the time.

OCELLPHONE: Part of my charm. It's Ocelli. By the way. Not a stranger anymore.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: Nice [Static] Ocelli! Stay out of [Static] -of Brooklyn. Hope you weren't planning [Static] Coney Island [Static].

OCELLPHONE: Stay out of Brooklyn, got it, already do that.

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Static]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Static]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Static]

SPIDERMAN_HEMLET_DO_NOT_USE: [Static]

OCELLPHONE: Okay Google, show me fastest route to Brooklyn by bike.

[genspiel]

auughhh so if you translate thelxie's morse code and caesar cipher it, he legitimately speaks french

[todays-xkcd]

We're considering installing a pressurization system to keep the tanks at constant pressure solely to deter them.

Storage Tanks [Explained]

Transcript

[Two characters wearing helmets are standing on scaffolding next to two large tanks labeled "Tank #3" and "Tank #4", with the person on the left talking. Miss Lenhart has drilled a hole into the base of Tank #4 with liquid pouring out of it and she is running away with the drill.] Left person with helmet: As head of security, your primary task is to monitor the storage tanks and watch for calculus teachers trying to drill holes in their bases.

[no-144444]

married man- l.hamilton

Day 4 of fic-tober! fic-tober masterlist

summary: Married? Maybe. But why does everyone else need to know? 

pairing: lewis hamilton x indycardriver! fem! reader

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Lewis smiled as you walked into his driver’s room. It had been literal months since you’d last seen each other in person, months since you’d been in his sights in general, and a year since you’d been at a race. 

“Don’t you look pretty,” he smiled, wrapping his hands around your waist as you chuckled. 

“I could say the same for you,” you smiled, bringing a hand up to play with his hair. “Get ‘em retwisted recently?”

He nodded. “Had to look good for you,” he joked. 

You laughed. “You’re too good to me.”

He pressed his lips to yours, and man, did it feel right. You hadn't been with him for months. You missed your husband, and he missed you right back. His hands slid lower, gripping your ass as he sighed into your lips. “Missed you so much,” he mumbled. “Too long to not see you.”

It had been a very long time. You two lived together in Monaco, but you were successful in your own right. You were part of the Indycar racing series. You loved Indycar, and truly had no intention to pivot into F1. You were an American after all, born and raised out in Marfa, Texas. The seasons were never going to match up, but you and Lewis worked damn hard to make your relationship work, and work well. You texted everyday, called every second day for at least an hour, and made it a habit to see each other at least every 4 months. You’d gone longer this time, 6 months, since both of you were too busy with work or holidays or something else. But now, the Indycar season is over, you were the victor, and you planned to come to the rest of the F1 races, under the guise of being Carmen’s friend, not Lewis’s wife. No one really knew you two even knew each other, let alone got married 2 years ago.  

“I missed you too,” you smiled as he pressed kisses down your neck. “We can’t let it go this long again.” 

“I promise it won’t,” he sighed. “Missed having you here. It’s been a tough fucking season.” 

“I know baby,” you pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright,” he shrugged. “Ferrari better be the right move next year.”

“It will be. You’ll win your 8th and then you can come be my WAG in Indycar,” you smiled, making him laugh. 

“Always with the solutions,” he chuckled. “Who says I’m settling with 8?”

“Me. You’re getting old, baby. If you want little Hamiltons’ running around, then you’d better be at home to take care of them,” you smiled, though stern in your tone. 

“Yes ma’am,” he smiled. “Man, I love you.”

“I love you too, now, I’ll see you later, yeah?” 

“See you at the finish line my love,” he pressed a soft kiss to your cheek before you left. 

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He’d done it again, another win, somehow. Through the fucking Austin heat, he’d pulled through with that piece of shit strategy from Mercedes. You cheered in the paddock, all cameras on you, but you didn’t care. He’d won yet another GP and you were hardly going to gently clap. 

You ran up to the Parc Fermé with Carmen, both ecstatic at the result (George got P2). You watched in awe as he left the car, celebrating with the team. You’d missed his latest victory in Silverstone and you were delighted to not have missed this one. He ran over to the team, searching only for you. 

“Where’s Y/n?!” he shouted over the cheering. You grabbed at his arm and smiled when he finally made eye contact with you. Suddenly he helmet was pulled off, his lips were on yours,  you were over the barricade and in his arms. 

“Lewis!” you scolded with a smile, pulling away. “What are you doing?”

“Celebrating with my beautiful wife,” he smirked. 

It was difficult to stay mad at him when he was looking at you like you hung the stars just for him. 

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Transcription of Lewis Hamilton’s GQ Sports interview:

GQ: So, Lewis, another win in Austin this time, how did it feel?

Lewis: It was amazing, I mean there was just so much riding on the moment, and it gave us the extra points to get up to Ferrari. There’s such a great atmosphere at places like Austin, especially since it’s a Sprint race and a Feature race, it means a lot to get to win both. 

GQ: And now we’d like to talk about the obvious elephant in the room

Lewis: And what’s that? (chuckling)

GQ: Your secret relationship with Indycar winner Y/n Y/l/n?

Lewis: It’s Y/n Hamilton, actually, and yes, what about it?

GQ: You’re married?

Lewis: Past 2 years, but we’ve been dating for 5. Best 5 years of my life. 

GQ: How did you keep this from the press?

Lewis: Well, we’ve always been the kind of people who do our own thing, and we never really felt the need to be super open about our relationship because of that. We’re both introverts and we both enjoy what little privacy we can have in our mad world, and I think that’s another reason we didn’t tell anyone. We’re also not stupid. Sometimes relationships don’t work out, it’s happened to everyone, and we didn’t want to tell anyone until we were serious about each other, and by then, we were engaged and while we became less careful with hiding our relationship, we’re naturally private people, so it just… never slipped out I guess (shrugging). 

GQ: And what has your reaction been like to the reception of your relationship?

Lewis: (chuckling) It’s funny to see how the internet sees us now, y’know, it’s pretty amusing to see the edits and the theories and the people swearing they’ve known from the start. Honestly I’m really enjoying it. So is she. 

GQ: How did you two meet?

Lewis: I think it was actually Austin. Whenever we’re in America we usually get roped into meeting the Indycar side of our teams, if we have one, and she was just… there when I went to the track. It was so ridiculous, I was asking everyone who she was, and like, everything about her, it was bordering on embarrassing. 

GQ: What drew you to her?

Lewis: She’s just one of those people you meet once and know you can’t live without. She was so kind, and she was helping another team with their car because she’s an engineer, and she was literally being told off by her boss right then and there, and all she said back was, ‘If they have no car, they have no race. They’re not even close to us in the championship, all I’m doing is helping them put the thing back together. Have a bit of empathy’. I knew I was a goner. I just wanted to know everything about her. 

GQ: She’s a woman of the people? 

Lewis: She’s always helping people. We’re philanthropists when we’re not racing and she teaches free classes on engineering in the deep south to get kids out of poverty. They don’t even know who she is, she’s just their teacher, same as anyone else. It’s pretty incredible stuff. 

GQ: Wow, that sounds amazing. She sounds like a very incredible woman.

Lewis: She is. 

GQ: Finally, why did you keep this from everyone?

Lewis: Why shouldn’t we? When you’re in the public eye, everyone knows everything about you, and you’re just supposed to deal with that. We both just wanted something for ourselves rather than to broadcast absolutely everything. I’m deeply uninterested in giving the media more things to write about, and so is she. The only media about us we should be hearing is our race results, not who we’re dating and I think we’ve forgotten that in the past few years. It’s all become quite the popularity contest, and I’m getting tired of playing it.

GQ: Thank you for your time.

Lewis: You too.

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navigation for my blog :) (masterlist)

fic-tober masterlist

taglist: @anotherapollokid @theseerbetweenus @simbaaas-stuff @5sospenguinqueen

[sargeantposting]

Logan: And I couldn't thank my mechanic enough. And also my parents, uh, they really helped me to be able to win the world championship and it’s just an amazing feeling.  Interviewer: I mean, did you, did you, what did you do when you found out you won? Did you call your friends at home? Did you phone your grandpa? What did you get up to?  Logan: Uh, no, I just gave my mom and dad a really big hug. Interviewer: Is it still sinking in now?  Logan: Yeah, it's, it's a really emotional thing. [full transcript continues below cut]

Interviewer: I can imagine. I can imagine. You said that your mechanic Scott and also your driver Coach Gary really helped you along the way. How did, how did they do that?  Logan: Um, well, my driver coach Gary, he helped me a lot. Of course, he manages everything and he always keeps me calm before the races and just makes sure I'm always at my best. And Scott, of course, he always just makes sure the cart is perfect, make sure all the tire pressures are good and yeah, that's about it.  Interviewer: What's the difference before you get into the race? You said he keeps you calm and then when you put your helmet and you're actually sitting in the car. How do you feel? What's the difference?  Logan: Well, until the engines start, it's a bit, it was, it was a bit nerve wracking. But once the engines start, you forget about everything and you're ready.  Interviewer: And do you, do you just believe that you can beat all of your fellow races because sometimes some of those races there's like 90 odd other kids aren't there? Logan: Yeah, that weekend I was feeling really confident because I had been quick the whole week and I had won the pre-final. So I, yes, I did believe I could win.  Interviewer: Tell me about when you were a little bit younger than you are now. You're only 14 now. But why racing, why, why is this so important to you?  Logan: Um, well, my dad bought me a, a racing kart when I was five years old and we started from there. We thought it would just be like a little hobby and, uh, it ended up becoming like a professional thing we did. So. Interviewer: So, so was there a moment when you, when you or your dad just thought ‘Wow, I'm quick. I can do this’?  Logan: Um, well, not really. We just kept progressing and then, um, when we, when we decided to come to Europe to race, um, we moved to Switzerland and from then on we were just, uh, going to school, I started going to school in Switzerland. And, yeah, and then we just kept going and then ended up like this.  Interviewer: Do you have any other hobbies? Can you fit anything else in?  Logan: Um, well, other than school it's really hard. But when I get my breaks and I go back to Florida for, um, I like to go fishing a lot and, yeah, that's what I do. Mostly.  Interviewer: Nice, nice and relaxing. Schumacher, Vettel and Senna are just some of your idols, aren't they? What is it about them that you love?  Logan: Uh, just like the legacy that they've built and how, how good they were.  Interviewer: So, is that what you want to achieve?  Logan: Yeah, definitely.  Interviewer: Where do you want to go from here?  Logan: Um, well, next year I'll be racing in KF and then after that I'll try and make my way to Formula One.  Interviewer: And do you think if you achieved getting to Formula One, do you think you could match maybe Lewis Hamilton or Sebastian Vettel's four titles or even Michael's?  Logan: Well, we're far away away from that. But, um, hopefully, yeah, we'll see.  Interviewer: You must think about it though. Teenagers always think about stuff like this, don't they?  Logan: Yeah, of course. But it's a long way away. So I, I'm just focused on next year.  Interviewer: Well, we wish you lots of luck for next year and well done. Logan: Thank you very much.

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

A vile trickster sent me a nefarious package that unleashed a torrent of glitter upon myself and my home!

I have spent the last 3 hours meticulously using masking tape to extract the microplastics from my helmet.

Audio Source

gif for anyone who wants it

secret bonus audio of him opening the glitter bomb

[what-is-love-babey-dont-hurt-me]

Some headcanons I have about King Dedede, Captain Vul, and their species!

Many, many millions of years before the tragedy that befell the dinosaurs, alien researchers tried to study them, and did not plan for their escape from the research facility, and eventual takeover of the planet! Through many years of adaptation to the new planet, you see the feathers and bird-like feathers we know and love in King Dedede and others!

This is related to my OC Sir Meteor, who you can vote for here ! 💫🦖☄️

Transcript + More below the cut below

Vestigial tail + spikes

A far cry from the reptile tails of old, the tails of current day are stubby with little movement, and in a few generations will likely be completely gone.

These guys are descendants of dinosaurs! The tails had been used for mobility, balance, but especially fighting. This connotation created ripples in the culture of what the vestigial tail means for avians, no matter how stubby and useless it is in present day! Since hollow bones had started to emerge in the species, anything that could possibly crush them is considered taboo, including showing off tails freely. A lot of them pretend they don’t exist!

Prehensile feathers

The feathers at the tip of the wings are modified fingers that can grab! If you were to push back the feathers, you would even see vestigial talons that are either too small to be any threat, or kept trip for proper appearance. All of the avians have thumb-like digits as well, but their grip is not a precise as our own.

Avians of high social standing often commission and wear enchanted gloves to aid with their weak grip, and it is why Dedede isn’t seen with his feathers and can use his hammer!

Spines + tail usually covered up

For this study, I focused on just the bodies themselves, but i wanna delve deeper into the culture they have! In particular clothing is important. They usually keep their tail and spines covered up for modesty and cultural norms—the spines are seen as weapons and only shown when living a life of battle! Even Dedede who gets into fights often doesn’t want to show them, but there is exceptions. The gray star warrior having their tail out is due to the position they have in the army. They dedicate their life to a battle. Other factors include needing high mobility! Some avians in gymnastics or on rescue teams, and other professions where mobility is essential are exempt from this rule, but they often have a robe or cover-up when not performing the task.

For Dedede: adapted to be a water-type bird, has flippers and webbed feet, and is unable to fly. His eyes are bigger than normal for the purpose of being able to see in dark waters with barely any light, although the trade off is his long distance vision leaves much to be lacking. His choice of hammer as a weapon is barely any thought to us, but a taboo one in avian society. His distance from any others of his kind is in part due to his refusal to put it down.

For Vul: he is a an avian capable of flight!! This is a rarer trait. He feels at home in the sky, and his eyes even in his old age are unparalleled to anyone else in his crew. Vul, like dedede, normally covers his tail, especially because even though he lives a life of battle, he is rather old fashioned and does not want to admit it, despite being captain to a crew of knights.

For the Star Warrior: a unnamed individual who would turn heads if they walked on their home planet looking like that. Metal armor in of itself is unusual because most avians hate to weight themselves down too much to fly, even if they aren’t a flying type. Under the helmet they have a bright red crest, and for the long legs I based them off of a Sandhill Crane. Their long legs are the best example of another trait I didn’t get to touch on yet: these guys have feathers covering the legs! Where in real life birds usually have scales, these guys have a gene which gives them feathers everywhere but the feet. Similar to silkie chickens or pigeons with muffs!

Most of these guys have some kind of feathered crest above their eyes! It helps keep sun and water out of their face, similar to eyebrows.

Page 2: a doodle comic with the story of how avians were created, along with a visual of them being somewhere between a dinosaur and bird

I have more but MAN this is getting too long

[tjodity]

c!Tommy having thoughts and feelings about c!Tubbo's Presidential Suit for Two Minutes

(TW for brief appearances of Wilbur Soot.)

(Transcript below cut.)

(Clip 1 Begins. It's Tubbo's POV of Jschlatt's Funeral. Tubbo sits in the front pew as Badboyhalo prepares at the altar. Tommy runs in circles around the pews. Tubbo rejoins the game with his Presidential skin with the jacket disabled.)

TUBBO (laughing): Did you-Did you really just say "Bow House"?

TOMMY: Jesus...BOW HOUSE, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE-oh you look classy Tubbo.

TUBBO: Thank you.

(Clip 1 ends.)

(Clip 2 begins. The clip is from the same stream, still at the funeral. Everyone is in similar positions aside from Tommy, who has seated himself beside Tubbo.)

BAD: Is everybody here? Would everybody please put on formal attire? Tubbo, that's a very nice suit, I like it.

TUBBO: Thank you! Wilbur made it for me!

BAD: It's very nice.

SAM: You didn't say anything about my suit!

BAD: Your's is very good to, Awesamdude. Wait, Awesam, you're just wearing armor-

(Tommy turns to look at Tubbo. The text "Proceeds to stare at Tubbo" appears in yellow at the bottom of the screen in asterisks. Tommy looks at Tubbo uninterrupted for the rest of the clip while Tubbo watches Quackity and Badboyhalo get into an altercation on the altar. At one point Tommy removes his helmet. Tubbo eventually notices his staring and turns to look at him.)

TUBBO (quietly, laughing): Why are you looking at me like that, Tommy?

TOMMY: I'm not.

TUBBO: Okay. (Turning his attention back to the altar) Oh my God, start the Goddamn funeral!

BAD: Okay, alright, everybody, uh-

(Clip 2 ends.)

(Clip 3 begins. It's a clip from Tommy's perspective as he walks off of the Prime Path and into the hills surrounding New L'Manberg. Tubbo and Ghostbur are walking ahead of him. Tubbo is in his Presidential skin and Tommy is wearing his Suit skin.)

TOMMY: Wait can you guys slow down? I'm- Hey Tubbo let's take off our fancy dresses now.

(White text saying "Why does he call them that" briefly appears on the bottom of the screen as Tommy removes his suit.)

TUBBO: Uh- Mine's on twenty-four seven, glued.

TOMMY: Oh. That's...

GHOSTBUR: No, you can take it off, it's just a white shirt under.

TUBBO: Oh, really?

(Tubbo begins taking off his suit jacket while Tommy turns to face him.)

TOMMY: Hey Tubbo that's, you know what that is-(Gasps) OH my God! You look..classy. The tie's still there, though.

TUBBO (overlapping): Thank you! I feel classy. I quite like the tie.

(Clip 3 ends.)

(Clip 4 begins. The clip is from Tubbo's perspective. Tommy is leading him from the Prime Path towards the bench.)

TOMMY: Um...Do you wanna sit down on the...

TUBBO: I would quite like to sit down on the bench.

(They sit.)

TOMMY: It's been-...You're well dressed.

TUBBO: Thank you, you're looking good yourself.

TOMMY: Oh....It's been uhm-

(TUBBO removes his jacket.)

TOMMY: Listen, I know-Oh, you've taken it off.

TUBBO: Yeah.

(Clip 4 ends.)

[buff-daddy-cole]

HOLY SHIT LLOYD'S BLOG FROM DARKLEYS

TRANSCRIPT:

Part 1

Today was almost the best day of my life. I was eating my breakfast when a package came from my grandmummy and it was filled with bright, sticky candy! At my boarding school for bad boys it's REALLY, REALLY hard to get any candy or fun toys because they're always busy teaching us how to pull tricks and take over the world and stuff. I was about to smush my face full of candy when that bully Finn saw me and his face had a big smirk on it. He got up from his seat at the next table over and grabbed the candy away, using his powers to turn it into crawly bugs and worms. 'Disgusting!' I yelled, 'HEYYY, MY CANDY!' He laughed, looking around at his friends, and then he pointed to his t-shirt that read 'Evil Geniuses Don't Cry.' Everyone was laughing. I had to get out of there before he decided to stick me in the trash bin again.

I hid in an empty classroom and thought of a plan. What was the word for that called? I have to try and remember all the words from my Villain Vocabulary List. Plotted, that's right. So I sat right there and plotted. I was going to leave Darkley's Boarding School for Bad Boys and never come back, AND I was going to get more candy. Everyone knows the first rule of any mission is to dress really scary, so I picked the lock on the teacher's closet and found an extra cape and a black helmet to wear. There were also some stuff the teachers took away from us, like a rubber band, rubber snakes, and a soccer ball. Rubber Snakes! That was it! They looked just like Serpentine. HISSS!

Part 2

The best candy store is in Jamanakai Village, so of course I snagged a wheelbarrow and loaded it up. I got lollipops, gooey taffy, sugar straws, EVERYTHING! I threw the snakes at the villagers watching me. People hid and were scared. This is great, I thought, I’m going to have all the candy in Jamanakai and get a SUGARRRR HIGH! What would Finn think now, huh? Then those stupid Ninja had to show up, saying the snakes were fakes. They yelled at me for stealing. Before I knew it, people were throwing rotten vegetables at me, and those Ninja tied me up to a sign. This was just like Finn all over again. I felt a single tear fall on my cheek, but then I thought that Finn might be right about one thing – evil geniuses don’t cry! I am Lloyd Garmadon, son of Lord Garmadon and future ruler of the world!

I wandered through the Glacier Barrens to hide/plot. I was going to let those Ninjas see who they were dealing with. My luck turned around when I found this hatch that said Hypnobrai Serpentine on it with pictures of a snake using mind control. I was shocked…this looked like the real thing. I thought it was only a myth! I opened the door, and BOOM, fell down the hole. It looked like a snowy trap, and I could see millions of myself reflected in the ice. Just as I was thinking that I looked pretty scary, I saw a stranger – except he was just a frozen warrior dude, all bones. I started to shake. I wondered what happened down here... I’d rather be tied up by the Ninjas than end up frozen like him. All of a sudden I heard a rattling, and a bunch of TALKING SNAKES came out of nowhere! The leader tried to do a swirly thing with his eyes to control my mind, but I used my genius skills to move out of the way and deflect his stare, which bounced back at him. He was under mind control! I could make him and his army do anything I wanted! MUHAHAHA!

[ommatidium]

TRANSCRIPT OF FILE "HELMET_AUDIO_06_08_23.mp3"

SPIDER_MAN: [Humming, "The Winner Takes It All" by ABBA]

[Silence] [Indistinct traffic]

SPIDER_MAN: [Sighs]

[Silence] [Indistinct traffic]

[Static]

SPIDER_MAN: Oh! Oh fuck yeah, c'mon, c'mon connect- [Helmet being smacked]

OCELLI: Y'ello? Can you hear me? Spidey?

SPIDER_MAN: Yes! Yes, yes I can hear you! Dude where have you been? I missed you!

OCELLI: Aw, you missed me? [Pause] You missed me?

SPIDER_MAN: Of course I did, I don't get much friendly interaction out here.

OCELLI: Oh. Yeah, that makes sense. I was just out, I do have a life y'know? One that doesn't revolve entirely around you.

SPIDER_MAN: Really? Is that why you have my patrol routes memorized?

OCELLI: I will hang up.

SPIDER_MAN: [Laughing] Wait, no no!

OCELLI: [Laughing] Playing, playing. [Sigh] I had a concussion if you must know. Didn't do your best work with Sir Polkadot last week.

SPIDER_MAN: Fuck, were you there? 'Celli I am so sorry, I completely fucking fumbled with that one. I don't understand what even happened I was so off my game, and people got hurt, you got hurt apparently and- [Grunts] -that weirdo is still out there putting holes in New York or whatever and-

OCELLI: Woah, woah, take a breath Spidey. [Exaggerated breathing]

SPIDER_MAN: [Mimicked exaggerated breathing] [Pause] [Continued breathing] I'm sorry, man.

OCELLI: Hey, you're fine. Happens to New York's best!

SPIDER_MAN: No, I mean yeah about the mini freak-out, but also about the concussion.

OCELLI: Well, self-flagellation isn't going to fix that shit. I'm almost back in working order anyhow, but that's the reason I've been gone.

[Silence]

OCELLI: You know, I didn't mean it when I said that wasn't your best work, right? He was literally ripping portals through the air, no one can blame you for having a bit of trouble.

SPIDER_MAN: Yeah. I guess.

[Silence]

OCELLI: See, I know you're bent out of shape about this because you haven't even commented on the name I gave the guy. C'mon "Sir Polkadot" that's right up your alley in terms of names.

SPIDER_MAN: [Laughing] We're not calling him that.

OCELLI: There is no "we" in this, I'm fucking call him that! I'll get Jameson to call him that, watch!

SPIDER_MAN: You know Jameson? The guy who literally slanders me for fun?

OCELLI: Libel. But yeah, I kinda work for him.

SPIDER_MAN: [Mocking] "Libel."

SPIDER_MAN: [Scoff] You remind me of someone.

OCELLI: Oh, really? Who?

[Silence]

[Silence]

[Silence]

SPIDER_MAN: [Sniffs] Uh-

OCELLI: Sorry, that'd reveal too much of your identity, right?

SPIDER_MAN: Um. Yeah. Right.

[teamnick]

Charles talking about his friendship with Pierre in the Jay Shetty Podcast - transcript under the cut

Jay Shetty: Everyone is quite competitive, like I can't imagine drivers being friends and hanging out afterwards, because…I dont know, I mean you tell me…

Charles Leclerc: Actually I’ve got a really good friend on he grid, Pierre Gasly. We grew up together, we started in karting with our first race together in 2005…

JS: Wow…

CL: …so yeah like 7-8 years old…we did the French Championship together and we became super good friends, our families are super close as well, so we used to go on holidays together…and then we find ourselves in Formula 1 now, so…but trust me, as soon as I close the visor, and I’m with a helmet, he is nobody anymore, and that’s the same for him and we know that! But whenever we are outside the car, we have a really really strong friendship. So you can have friends, but it’s very difficult to create friendships if you didnt know that person before getting into Formula 1, because it’s such a competitive world, everybody wants to have the upper hand, everybody wants to do everything in his own benefit…because at the end we want to win, we want to be the best on track, so…there’s a lot of respect, but we are not giving anything away to the others. And as much as I am friend with Pierre, I’m not giving him any advices or whatsoever. I just want to beat him as much as I want to beat everybody else on track. But lonely sport? I dont think it is.

[todays-xkcd]

Subway refuses to answer my questions about whether it's an International Footlong or a US Survey Footlong. A milligram of sandwich is at stake!

US Survey Foot [Explained]

Transcript

[Closeup on Cueball.] Cueball: We thought it was over. After 60 years of struggle, the US survey foot was dead, deprecated by NIST in 2023.

[Cueball is shown to be talking to Ponytail, Hairy, and Megan. He has a presentation behind him.] Cueball: We thought architects and engineers could rest east, free of the headaches of having two conflicting definitions of the foot that differ by 610 nanometers. International foot: 0.304 800 000 m US survey foot [crossed over in gray] R.I.P.: 0.304 800 609... m

[Cueball points at an image of Black Hat] Cueball: But I bring dire news: Cueball: Someone has started using the US survey foot again.

[Closeup on Cueball again.] Off-panel voice: Why!? Cueball: We don't know. Cueball: Some people just want to drag the world 610nm closer to madness.

[Farther view of Cueball only. He clenches a fist.] Off-panel voice: What can we do!? Cueball: A NIST team is already in the air. We will capture the scofflaw and end this nightmare.

[Two helicopters flying, with mountains in the background.]

Caption: 8,000 miles away [Two operatives in a forest with "NIST" helmets. One talks on a walkie-talkie.] Operative: We've reached the coordinates of the target's device. There's no one here. Voice from walkie-talkie: How!?

Caption: 8,000.016 miles away [Black Hat walking elsewhere in the forest, very close by.] Black Hat: ♫ ♪

[fitzs-space]

One must go to many lengths to learn the truth.

Part One this is part two.

More old comics, this one is from May 5th 2022, back when I started drawing Tango with a tail. Also E is there, don't ask, I just made a bet with letter,,,

And a transcript below!

Zedaph: I may be regretting some parts of this plan,,, Zedaph: all good for plan ‘T’ of ‘see under X’s helmet? Tango: I’m just curious about why we’re on the roof specifically? Zedaph: the great element of surprise! The guy never sleeps, so all those plans fail. They somehow have eyes on the back of their head, can’t sneak up on him. And trying to fight for the helmet ends up bad for the both of us,,, Zedaph: and so, a sneak attack via the roof! A fool proof pla- *thump* Xisuma: have you not considered just, Asking me to take off the helmet?? Zedaph: well now, where’s the fun in that Xisuma?

[gunthermunch]

[Transcript under the cut]

Bluma: uncle Wolfgang? WG: not the moment Bluma: i'm just trying to know where do we know her from! WG: she's a friend. WG: was. i think. WG: listen- she's a big nerd. that's all you need to know Bluma: cool Cass: Bluma, could you please come over here? WG: you better go Cass: done! Bluma: woa…! Bluma: it looks exactly the same! Cass: your kitty radio works as a spirit box now. it's like… a phone for ghosts. Bluma: wait does this means it won't play music anymore? Cass: well… WG: we're gonna find out down there. Bluma: all set up… WG: no you're not WG: you don't know how to secure these. what a mess Bluma: this is degrading Cass: don't worry, i'm the only one watching Bluma: yes that's the problem.

Bluma: me! i'll get this open! WG: careful, those are heavy- Bluma gasps WG: there's your door, Cassandra. Cass: thank you.

Bluma: hm… damp. WG: are you sure you wanna be at the front?? why did i let her at the front. Bluma: it's fine, i have my helmet on. WG: …so, may i know who's the lucky guy? Cass: … WG: cold. understandable. hey i have some slots for flower girl available next year, i do quite the clean job. Cass: alright first of all we are ghost hunting. Second, you didn't even ask about our friends and you already want to know about my fiance? Why is Joni Mitchell playing?! WG: fine! fine. WG: i just- Bluma: can you guys keep it down? i can her everything and it's icky. Groaning Bluma: OVER THERE!-- WG: WAIT- BLUMA--!!! Cass: hey?! Cass: dang it.

[thisisnotawebsitedotcom-com]

Computer Code: TANTRUM

A transcript between Bill Cipher and Time Baby will be shown.

The text says:

TRANSCRIPT

HEAR THIS, CIPHER! THIS MOMENT IS A NEXUS EVENT, AN INFRACTION POINT BETWEEN ALL TIMELINES. YOU MUST CHOOSE TO TURN BACK NOW. IN EVERY REALITY, YOUR COLLISION WITH EARTH CAUSES CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION ON AN UNFATHOMABLE SCALE!

OH NO! NOT CHAOS! I HATE THAT! LOOK NICK JR, I HAVE IT ON GOOD AUTHORITY THAT THIS PLANET IS GOING TO SELF-DESTRUCT EVENTUALLY, SO IT MIGHT AS WELL DO IT WITH ME AS BOSS, RIGHT? HOWSABOUT WE DIVVY THIS REALITY UP? I’LL TAKE EARTH, YOU CAN TAKE ALL THE GAS GIANTS, AND I THROW IN THIS BLANKY.

A SEDUCTIVE GAMBIT. BUT FOR THE SAKE OF TIME, I MUST RELENT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT? SODA? I CAN GET YOU SODA. EVEN IF YOUR MOM SAYS YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DRINK IT, I CAN GET IT.

I WAS NOT BORN YESTERDAY

OH HERE WE GO

I WAS FORGED IN THE CRUCIBLE OF REALITY ITSELF, THE LAST SURVIVOR OF THE WAR OF THE TIME GIANTS. MY CELESTIAL CREATORS, GRANDFATHER AND GRANDMOTHER CLOCK, GIFTED ME WITH THE BURDEN OF PROTECTING THE TIMELINE FROM THOSE WHO WOULD DARE UNWEAVE IT.

AWW LOOK AT THAT! YOU SPOKE WITHOUT SPITTING UP ON YOURSELF! LOOK SIPPY CUP, IF YOU’RE SAYING REALITY ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US, I AGREE! YOU MIGHT WANNA PUT ON A SAFETY HELMET BECAUSE IM ABOUT TO FIND OUT HOW SOFT BABY SKULLS REALLY ARE.

A FOOLISH STATEMENT. I CANNOT BE KILLED.

WANNA BET?

Ciphers henchmen circled. The Time Agents grabbed their Time Tapes. Time Baby sighed, the weight of the multiverse on his doughy shoulders.

I KNOW YOUR CRIMES, CIPHER. TAKING A NEW HOME WILL NOT MAKE UP FOR THE ONE YOU’VE LOST. WHAT YOU DID TO THE COUNTLESS SOULS OF EUCLYDIA-

Cipher stopped in his tracks.

YOU CHOOSE YOUR WORDS VERY. CAREFULLY.

Ciphers henchmen murmured amongst each other, confused. They seemed to have heard conflicting stories about Bill’s past.

“You said you liberated the people of your dimension-”

LIBERATED THEM FROM THEIR BODIES!

DONT LISTEN TO HIM! HE’S A BABY! HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SAY SPAGHETTI!

I DO TOO

SAY IT

...

PASGHETTI

(TO THE TIME AGENTS) YOU’RE REALLY GONNA FOLLOW THIS GUY?

(SHAKING HIS HEAD IN DISTAIN) WHAT WOULD YOUR PARENTS SAY IF THEY COULD SEE WHAT YOU’VE BECOME. WHAT WOULD SCAL-

ENOUGH TALK! READY TO BE KNOCKED INTO THE LITERAL ICE AGE?

I DO NOT WISH TO FIGHT YOU CIPHER.

Time Baby slowly began to remove his gauntlets.

BUT A BABY’S GOTTA DO... WHAT A BABY’S GOTTA DO

Cipher and TB lunged at each other. It was hard to see the exact nature of the time fight but there were a lot of clocks, portals, and paradoxes involved. At one point someone used nunchucks made out of two Abe Lincolns, and there was a moment where they both clipped through reality jostled the card carrier in Dennis’s backpack. But ultimately Cipher’s henchmaniacs dealt TB a devastating blow. We Time Agents were leaderless, forced to regroup back in 20712.

But we knew this wasn’t over.

No...

It was only a matter of time

END TRANSMISSION

[umlewis]

lewis hamilton is interviewed during the press conference on media day [part 1/2], brazil - october 31, 2024 (transcript under the cut)

Interviewer: "Why don't we start with the honorary citizen of Brazil? Lewis, you're back in a country you love, at a circuit you love, where you've had a lot of success in the past. Just how excited are you, ahead of this grand prix?" Lewis: "Good afternoon, everyone. I love coming here. I've been really excited about the trip and just getting back. Every opportunity I have to spend time here, you learn more about the culture, you are able to engage more. I know the Senna Foundation did an amazing event last night, with all the great work that they're doing. And it's just the colors, it's Ayrton, it's the culture, the people. So you really vibe off that through the whole weekend." Interviewer: "Lewis, you say it's Ayrton. There's a very special thng happening on Saturay evening here. You're gonna be driving his 1990 McLaren. How special is it for you to commemorate him here at Interlagos?" Lewis: "Well, I mean, every time we come here is an opportunity to do that, and I think so many of the drivers also do that. But I never in a million years thought I would get to drive Sanna's car here, so when… I remember someone contacted me… My manager told me about it, and I jumped at the opportunity. Back in the day when I was at McLaren I did get the chance to drive the MP4/4 around Silverstone, which was incredble, and… But just the thought of driving that car around here… I remember the races when he finally won here and held the flag, and yeah, it'll definitely be quite an emotional experience, and I hope people are here to see it. I had a helmet made with… Just his helmet, made for me, but I don't know if we're using that one tomorrow. But I think the initial hope was for it to be a suprrise. So I had an all-white suit and his helmet, and I'd go out and drive the lap and it would just look like it was him out there. But somehow it got out there and [laughs] it's impossible to keep things quiet." Interviewer: "Lewis, it's a manual gearbox. How's your heel-and-toe-ing these days?" Lewis: "I'm always heel-and-toe-ing, so… [laughs] No, it used to be really good when I was younger, and when I did the MP4/4 I was able to do it back then. Something I miss. I wish we had that in Formula 1. I mean, the two-pedal thing is just not exciting, and they need to bring back the HBOX. It was awesome." Interviewer: "Look, let's bring it back to Mercdes now, what's happening this weekend - a sprint weekend. It was the best combined performance for the team since the summer break, last weekend in Mexico. Just how confident are you of getting a good performance here?" Lewis: "'Confident.' I mean, it's been a very turbulent year. I think we always arrive with confidence and with a positive mental attitude, but the car is just… I don't know how… I'm sure it's similar for the other drivers, but there's glimpses of hope, and then things swing back and forth-whether it's tires, whether it's the aero-so you enver know what you're gonna get. I always feel like Forrest Gump when I say that. But then yeah, I'm hoping the car… The last race was really positive for us, in terms of the end result, but through the weekend was definitely… George's crash during the weekend, and then I started with a bad start of the race but then got better towards the end. So there's definitely potential within the car and we're always looking to just fine-tune it and hope we can extract more from it, and I'm hoping with the new surface here maybe we can have a better race."