#hello yes i am finally back from hiatus

[cafelillies]

kiki and jiji 🧹🐈‍⬛

[helioooss]

midnight rain

synopsis: sana and y/n used to be the top celebrity couple in the entertainment industry. over a decade after a nasty break up, they meet again at a jimmy kimmel show

w/c: 5.2k

warnings: mentions of drug use and overdose, read at your own risk, angst with a happy ending

a/n: first story in ten years, creative brain’s a bit rough these days, haven’t been on tumblr since its golden days. also not proofread. hope ur all well and enjoy this one :)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Your heart was beating out of your chest, each thump pushing you further you into a downward spiral as your clammy palms tapped against your bouncing knee. Leaning against the chair, you refused to make eye contact with anyone — the worried look on your face was enough to push them away, anyway. In a situation like this, it would be strange to not feel anxious.

After all, it had been over ten years since you let the love of your life go and agreeing to see her on live television was a decision that you have been regretting since the day you said yes.

Two minutes, you blew a breath out as you stared up at the monitor in front of you.

"Welcome to the Tonight Show!" Jimmy trailed off with a smile, the audience in front of him clapping as they yelled in excitement. "Thank you for being here, tonight we have two very special guests —"

A staff member tapped your shoulder, pulling you out of your messy thoughts with his apologetic face. "Y/N, it's time."

Uncrossing your legs, you nodded your head with a shy smile. The fact that you could hear your own heartbeat amongst all the noise made you uneasy, so you stood there for a moment longer; wondering what Minatozaki Sana looked like in person.

You haven't been this nervous since the world found out about your relationship with her.

Taking a deep breath, you walked out with your heart in your throat. You bowed your head at Jimmy and waved your hand at the audience members, screaming can be heard from the other end; your name being chanted, their anticipation shining through from seeing you on television again after what seemed like an eternal hiatus.

It would be a lie to say it didn't feel good to relive what was once your life like, but you don't regret disappearing from the spotlight.

You were happier now, away from all the awards and glory, you think.

As if you were in a movie, time suddenly stopped as she emerged from the other side in the black Yves Saint Laurent dress you bought her all those years ago — brown hair flowing freely past her shoulders as she mirrored your gestures towards the crowd. Watching her fondly, you were reminded of the moonlight that illuminated the surface of the endless ocean; truly God's masterpiece in its purest form. You were frozen in your spot as you stared at her with the utmost adoration and respect.

Then, she finally settled on your eyes and suddenly you felt like a kid again.

"Hello stranger," she said with a sly smile, taking the seat next to yours with the crowd going wild at your first interaction. "Hi Jimmy, thank you for having me."

"Yeah, I'm gonna pretend that you didn't acknowledge Y/N first," he teased, making her and everyone else chuckle. "Anyway, wow, you look wonderful. And so do you, Y/N!”

You grinned, nodding as you try to remember the rough script on how the conversations would go in your head. "Thank you for having me back here, Jimmy, I appreciate it."

"It's the both of you this time," he raised his eyebrow suggestively. "Which is amazing, the world hasn't seen you together in twelve years. Am I right?"

"Yes," she looked at you, heaving out a breath as she laughed. "Sorry, it just feels so weird to see you again."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Suddenly, you were pulled back into past; during the last time you ever saw her in the alleyway behind Stanley's; your favourite getaway restaurant during midnights. Every now and then, you remembered it; the pain from losing her always came back like it just happened and you wonder if you've really moved on.

"We can't keep doing this," she said with tears welling in her eyes. "It's so hard, Y/N, and as much as I love you, our relationship is mentally breaking me."

You shook your head in desperation, cupping her cheeks with both of your hands. "That's what they want, you know that, our fans want us to break up. You don't have to do this, baby, I'm sure there's another way. We can talk to both of our managements —"

She sighed, pulling away from you. Both physically and emotionally. "I've spoken to mine and they respect my decision.

You paused, repeating the words in your head to make sure you heard her right. It felt like she just stabbed you in the back as you gawked at her with defeat in your eyes, shoulders slumping while piecing everything together. "The last time you spoke to them about our relationship was over a month ago, and you're only talking to me about this now? Is that how you've been feeling this whole time?"

Her tears rolled down her face, understanding the betrayal you felt. "It's not just the fans, Y/N, it's literally everything. I barely get to talk to you and see you. How can we both work it out when we can't even create time for each other?"

"I'll do anything for you, my love, just say the word and I will cancel everything - you know that! Every project, every interview, every shoot, literally anything —"

"No, I stand by my decision," she said firmly. "Perhaps, when you and I have achieved all our dreams...then we can work it out. This isn't the right time for us —"

"Four fucking years, Sana," you bellowed angrily, fists clenching. There was pain written on her face from hearing you call her by her name. "From the very beginning, we have been there for each other. What the fuck am I supposed to do without you?"

"Let me go — we'll both be happier without each other."

"No," you shook your head, tugging her closer towards you. However, she resisted. "Please, please don't do this. Don't leave me like this. What happened to forever?"

Her tears rolled down her cheek at the sound of your defeated voice. As much as it hurt her, she had to make up a lie on the spot. "I don't love you anymore. I — there's someone else."

Just like that, all of your hopes and dreams for the future shattered. Without her, the life you built meant nothing.

She really wanted you out of her life and there was nothing you could do about it. Shoulders slumping, you looked down - the thunderous roar of the oncoming storm startled her whilst it had no effect on you. "Okay, I see what you're doing. It's going to start raining, you should go."

She doesn't know whether it was the coldness in your voice or the wind, nonetheless, she shivered. "Y/N -"

"Leave, that's what you wanted, right?" you looked up at her, eyebrows furrowing. "I don't understand what I've done to you to justify what you're doing. I know I don't deserve any of this. If you're going to leave, leave now and never come back. And when I say never, I mean it, Minatozaki Sana."

She nodded her head, turning on her heel with a sob. Tiny specks of rain began to pour down on you, the rest of your world going down with it. You watched her walk away from you as if it were the easiest thing - did she ever really love you?

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"I can't pinpoint whether that's a good thing or not, but considering I'm your ex, I'd say that's a bad thing," you joked, rolling your eyes playfully.

She laughed once more, shaking her head at you. You swear that sound never failed to put you on a pedestal. "It's just surreal, I haven't seen you in so long. You look younger than I can remember."

"You never reply to any of my messages," you put your hands up at her as Jimmy bursted into another set of laughter. You didn't know where the confidence was coming from, but you were relieved you were feeling something else other than being constantly nervous. "I'm joking, I don't have her number. I'm sure you don't mind giving it to me after the show, right?"

"God, get a room," Jimmy whined, turning you into a blushing mess. "Before you both propose to each other, Sana, let's talk about the dress you're wearing tonight. Somebody may or may have not told me that you're wearing something very special."

"We'll talk about my number after the show," Sana turned to you, winking; making the heat rise on your face. "Yes Jimmy, this dress is probably my favourite one out of everything - I don't wear it very often, obviously, but this beautiful Yves Saint Laurent piece was a gift from Y/N thirteen years ago."

You stared at her in awe, the way she spoke with so much grace never failed to impress you. The years had done her a favour - life always seemed easier on her than it was on you.

She left you behind, after all.

"Look, I'm just glad you kept it because this archival piece cost me a lot back then," you admitted with the biggest grin on your face as you looked at anyone but her. You couldn't place what it was about her that struck you so forcefully, but you simply couldn't take your eyes off her and you somewhat needed to feel in control of your emotions. "It was our first anniversary, I had just gotten a pretty decent check from Little Women and I wanted to give her something special."

"You got a big check in twenty-nineteen and the first thing you thought of was a dress for your girlfriend instead of a Lamborghini to flaunt on Instagram?" Jimmy scoffed as you and Sana giggled at him. "Get out of here!"

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Your anniversary was coming up and frankly, you wanted to give her the world. You were panicking inside; with the amount of things you've gotten her, none of them felt special. You hummed as you sat in Chou Tzuyu's kitchen, patiently waiting for her to acknowledge you.

"You know, if you weren't my friend, I'd have you sent out of my house already," she grumbled in a playful way. "Seriously, I'm telling you that she will love that Saint Laurent dress by Tom Ford."

You sighed, shaking your head. "It's our anniversary though, it's special. Do you think giving her a dress and taking her to Hawaii are good enough?"

"Jesus Y/N, that woman looks at you with stars in her eyes — she will love anything you get her. If you ask her to marry you right now, I believe she will say yes in less than a heartbeat."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The show was going very well, you felt relieved as time went by, and you were actually enjoying the things you found out about Sana after you had broken up.

She went on to become a successful solo artist and fashion model after Twice's disbandment, and you couldn't be any prouder. It had always been her dream and you always knew she was made to be a superstar - you prayed for her to achieve it, even if it meant she would be harder to reach.

You were able to open up about your past; the dark hole you fell into after the breakup — all the women, the legal troubles and the projects that failed because of your behaviour; it wasn't easy to talk about, but somehow, the way she intensely listened made all the fear go away. It would be an understatement to say you haven't felt this comfortable in years — just watching her talk about her passions put you in awe.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

You were barely conscious in a suite at The Ritz in Paris, an unlit cigarette resting on your mouth as you scrambled to find the lighter in your pocket. The only thing illuminating the room was that stupid lamp on the office table. And you hated it, you really did, because it was the same model she broke the last time you were here with her.

You felt so warm - breathing heaved and beads of sweat forming on your forehead. And you laughed to yourself because it was pathetic, really. You were all alone in the city of love because the love of your life decided she wanted to move on from you.

And suddenly, the door opened with Jongin appearing from behind it.  "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Kai..." you could barely mutter his name as the world spun around you. "You're here!"

He knelt in front of you, forcing you to sit up. He tapped both of your cheeks worriedly. "Look at me, open your fucking eyes!"

You cupped his face back with a chuckle, everything seemingly softer around the edges. "Eyes open."

"I need you to tell me how much of these pills you had and when," he dangled the two bags in front of you but all you could think of was her face; the way her eyes lit up whenever you told her you loved her and that smile of hers that never failed to put you in a spiral. "Momo, I need you to stop freaking out and call an ambulance right now."

You were lying against Jongin's chest, your vision blacking in and out.

"We're at the Windsor suite at The Ritz, we have called the hotel medic and they're coming," you heard someone frantically say. "Y/N looks really unwell. Please hurry, please!"

There was buzzing all around you, and you smiled to yourself before giving in and closing your eyes. "Happy 27th birthday to me."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"But how are you doing now?" Jimmy asked with a sympathetic look in his face.

"I..." you looked down, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. "I don't think I know who I am anymore after everything. I regret everything that I've done - all the fame and the money, I don't think it was worth losing myself over the superficial things. Then again, rehab and lots of therapy helped me a lot, you know, I always thought I wouldn't make it past 27...but here I am. All thanks to everyone who held me together."

Everyone began clapping in the audience, your cheeks reddening at all the attention. Despite being a nervous wreck, you managed to let out a small smile. You could feel her eyes on you, yet you refused to look again.

"Would you change what happened in the past?"

Deep down, you were aware of the answer to his question. It'll always be a yes. Everything that you have now wasn't worth more than her.  As ridiculous as it sounded, you would've given it all up for her; without her in your life, it always felt like you achieved it for nothing.

It was supposed to be her and you against the world. As much as it sounded wrong, your love for her will always be greater than your dreams.

"Yes, I would've," you pursed your lips, looking down at your roughed up running sneakers. Compared to her look, yours was too casual. If you were younger, you would've been on the same level as her. You didn't belong to each other now, what else was different about her these days? "For most of you who didn't know, the world hated that her and I were together. Everyone criticised each move we did. We were young...really young, it felt suffocating to hear the same things from the public but god, I loved her so much. To this day, I'm firm on my decision that I would've given up on my dreams for her if it meant I could keep her."

You were truly not over what you had, but with everything that has happened after that, you don't think you could let her in again. Not now.

Not when you were still a mess.

She placed her hand on top of yours, gently squeezing it. "If I knew that letting the world find us would ruin what we had, I would've kept you a secret," she paused, looking at you with pure adoration plastered on her face. "For as long as I could have."

Jimmy nodded his head, satisfied with your answers. "Well, that's it for tonight's show everyone. Please give a huge round of applause to our dear Y/N and Sana!"

You stood up, stepping closer towards Jimmy as you wrapped his arms around him, whispering. "Thanks heaps for having us tonight, never thought we'd cross paths again."

He was smiling as if he understood how it felt. "Anytime, Y/N, my wife and I were big fans back in the day."

You didn't respond, eyes following her instead. There was a sudden sharp ache in your chest as you watched her walk away from you, not bothering to look back.

Jimmy noticed the change in your emotions, squeezing your arm in comfort. "Hey, she'll be backstage for another half an hour. Don't let this chance slip away."

You heaved out a sigh, a defeated look on your face. Perhaps, her actions were all for the show, but god, her face said it all — she missed you as much as you missed her. "I can't, Jimmy. I'm a mess. I think I'll always be a mess. Do you think I could leave without her seeing me or knowing about it?"

There was surprise written on his face at your question. "I thought you guys did great out there, don't you wanna rekindle it?"

"No," you frowned. "I still love her...but its been over a decade and a lot has changed. She rejected me the last time I saw her. She seems happier - I'm still working on myself. I can't risk it."

"I understand," he smiled at you with sympathy. "Come, I'll get one of my producers to show you out."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Sana is here with her rumoured girlfriend," Lisa rasped out, closing the door behind her as she leaned against it - eyes wide and all that. "How are we gonna hide her from Y/N? She's literally sitting outside."

Jennie had horror written all over her face as soon as her eyes landed on your messy face - wonton soup smeared all over your mouth. "Actually...Y/N is here."

Lisa gasped at the sight of you. "I thought you went to order more drinks at the bar!"

You shook your head, standing up. "No, I ordered it through a QR code like I said I would. Where is she?"

"Y/N," Jennie held your hand to stop you. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"I'll be fine, Nini," you smiled reassuringly, rubbing your thumb against her skin. "I just wanna see what she looks like now."

"It's been seven years, Y/N," Lisa deadpanned, arms crossed and still blocking the door out of the private dining area. "She has moved on and so have you."

"We all know that's a lie."

With a mask of disappointment in her eyes, she took a step ahead to get out of your way, her shoulders slumped as she shook her head disappointingly. "This is going to pull you back a hundred times worst."

And it did. You wished you had listened to Lisa because as soon as Sana's eyes landed on yours, her smile faltered and turned into a worried frown. "Not now, Y/N, talk to me when you're sober. And in private."

"I am sober, Sana," you whispered frozen in place, a pang of pain rushing through every nerve end in your body. “Can we talk, please?”

She wouldn’t even look at you. “If you have anything important to say, I don’t want to hear it.”

You felt sick, stomach twisting in more ways than one and a sudden onset of frustration washed over you. “How could you be so cruel?”

She was once the constellations you admired, now the moon weeps at how she dimmed the brightness within you.

“We’re in public!”

“Nobody fucking knows us here,” your frail attempt at choking up your anger was visibly failing. “You know what? Fuck this, whatever. Have a nice life.”

“Y/N, wait,” she seemed taken aback at your outburst, quickly standing up to trail behind you.

“Fuck you, Sana.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The days that followed after your first public appearance became a blur. You were all over the news again, this time, they were all positive things about you (according to your publicists). Many old friends from the industry have been trying to reach out, some wanted to meet up for their own good - however, most were just glad to see you alive and well.

Since your hiatus, you have been away from the public eye; all of your social media accounts remained stagnant. Even the sleaziest paparazzi companies couldn't figure out where you were.

After all, you were and still are one of the biggest names on the industry.

"Here goes nothing," you said as you tapped on the 'share' button. It was a selfie of you in your bedroom - your bookshelf and art collection on the background. The caption was a simple 'this is 34'.

You closed your eyes as you inhaled a deep breath; it was your first post in nearly three years and you feel absolutely terrified. They were definitely going to judge the way you've aged, the books you read and a lot more other things that you should be prepared for and be used to - but you weren't.

Not long after, your phone rang; interrupting (thankfully) you from your dilemma. It was your mum on the other end. "Hey ma," you greet with a grin.

"Your dad, siblings and I wish you the happiest birthday today, my darling. Will you come and see us this year?" she asked with hope in her voice.

"Ma, I was just there last week," you playfully rolled your eyes. "Besides, if I come now, they will figure out where our family home is. And eventually, the public will find out where I live too."

"I know, I know," she hummed. "But you've been celebrating your birthday alone for years now. Why can't you invite your old friends? I'm sure Jongin and Momo and Lisa and Jennie and Jisoo and Jimin and Jungkook and —"

"Okay, okay," you chuckled. "I'm sure they all miss me too but I don't think I'm ready to let people in again. They're all living very busy lives. I enjoy my solitude right now and —" the sound of ringing from your front door cut you off, startled, you moved the phone away from your ear to make sure you weren't hearing things (again). "Uh, there's someone at the front. Must be one of my book deliveries — well, I hope."

"Aren't you gonna open the door?"

"No, why would I? Then they'll find out I live here." However, the doorbell rang once more. "Oh god, what if I accidentally put my location on my Instagram? Ma, I'll call you back."

"Y/N, it's —"

"Bye, I love you!"

You quickly hung up and turned your phone off before padding across your camera room to see who the person on the other side of the door was.

Your breath hitches at the sight of your ex-girlfriend patiently standing outside with a birthday cake on her hand. After a month of not seeing her, your shoulders slumped into a more relaxed state as you take another deep breath; pressing the red button.

"Sana?" you said with hesitation through the speaker. "You have red hair?"

"Hi Y/N," she waved at the camera. Damn that smile. "Happy birthday, please let me in before anyone sees. And yes, I had to dye it for a shoot."

You cleared your throat. "Uh, I'm coming," you walked towards the front door with your lips tucked behind your upper teeth. You pull the wooden door open, revealing the fiery-haired beauty on the other side. Your heart hammers against your chest and your fingers visibly shake as you step away to let her in. "It suits you."

"Thank you," she smiled shyly, looking around your place. "This is a lovely home, Y/N."

"Come," you took the cake off her hands as you walk towards the open kitchen with a view of the forest surrounding your house. "Pretty bold of you to assume caramel is still my favourite."

She frowned. "Is it not?"

You laughed. "No, no, it still is." As soon as you set the cake on the counter, you looked up to meet her gaze. "How did you find me?"

"Your parents," she quickly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, awkwardly wrapping her arms around her loose cardigan. "I called to see how they were doing."

"And why's that?" you curiously raised an eyebrow, attempting to kill the assumption that she missed you in your head.

She took a step closer towards the counter — the only thing separating you away from her. "Because I wanted to find you," she paused, biting her lip. "After the interview, you disappeared. Just like that. No goodbye, no nothing. Why?"

"Why not?" your tone made her flinch, reminding her of the same coldness you showed her in that alleyway.

"We were doing so well...the interview, I thought you would maybe want to catch up —"

"I did, then I remembered how you broke my heart and then many other thoughts came along after that. Remember when you told me there was someone —"

"An obvious lie, Y/N, there was only you."

A sigh escaped your lips as you avoid her eyes. "For years, I made myself believe that it was true just so I could hate you. And not even a year later, Sana, not even a year, you began dating someone else. A fucking CEO out of all people — a guy who was probably busier than most of us combined; that was such a massive slap in the face considering you told me it wasn't working because of our schedules."

"It was —"

You raised a finger, stopping her. "No, I told you to leave and never come back. I told you that, do you remember?"

"I do," she tilted her head carefully, gaze holding that same familiar hurt all those years ago. "I do, and that's the sole reason I refused to knock on your door again for a decade - no matter how much I begged myself to. I couldn't bring myself to, anyway, not after I hurt you."

"So why are you here?" you asked, voice strained.

"Because I'm still deeply in love with you after all these years, because I believe you're the love of my life and I still want to grow old with you. And I want to love you again if you'll let me, Y/N, please. I love you, that's why I'm here.”

You looked up to find tears pooling in Sana's eyes, she turned away before wiping them away with her fingers. All you could hear was the drumming coming from your chest, your head all over the place once again.

You remembered it so vividly, the moment you wanted to marry her...the cherry red box that was sitting untouched in your safe after all these years. And it hurt.

"Say something, please," she sniffled, pleading you with her eyes as she placed her hand on top of yours - her cold skin against yours now lingering for a moment too long.

"Look at me, Sana," you exasperated, arms flinging wide open. "Look at the mess I am. I've been to rehab more than I can count my fingers. I ruined my own reputation and I hurt so many people along the way. There were days where I could barely breathe, days where I wanted it all to stop. And those days still come every now and then. I have pushed everyone away - even my own family. There's a barrier between me and all of the people I love, the gap will always remain because of the things I've done. And you say you want me?"

"I want you, chaos and all. I have loved you all these years...what's so different about now?"

"Do you know how long has it been since our break up?" you scoffed, pinching the bridge of your nose to stop the tears from coming. "You are in love with the idea of me, not who I am."

"Then let me unravel you once more, Y/N, this is all I'm asking for. I know I walked away when you needed me the most and I'm so fucking sorry, I live with that guilty everyday - god, I was so worried. I didn't sleep for a year when we were 27 because I didn't want to wake up to find out you were dead like everyone else would say. I should've reached out then because I knew that I couldn't live this lifetime without you. I didn't want to, not if you weren't in it. I ask myself why I didn't, but I can never find the right answer. All I know is I'm here now, and I'm never gonna let you slip away ever again."

Your walls began to crumble at her intimate confession. This time, you took both of her hands under yours, unable to stop yourself now. "I was going to marry you but you didn't stick long enough for me to do that."

"W-what?" she stammered, her voice breaking. "You were?"

It felt as if there was a knot wrapping your heart and your chest together, squeezing in a way that it almost hurt to breathe. There were so many thoughts flying through your mind, a million of what would've, could've and should've beens.

She unexpectedly collided her body against yours, making you stumble in your feet. Your hands luckily gripped the edge of the counter, balancing her and you together. Her arms snaked around your waist, engulfing you in a tight embrace as she whispered a million apologies.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, pushing you away with her hands. "Oh my god, how did I fuck this up so bad? I love you so much, why?"

"We both were fuck ups, weren't we?" you chuckled through the tears flowing down your cheeks. "Too young to know how cruel the world was."

"Will you please let me in again, Y/N? Let me fix this. I want you and I want us again. I don't care what they all think.”

"I don't deserve you, Sana, I think I'll only end up hurting you. I've been alone for so long now that if you asked me what love was like, I would only be able to mutter your name and remember what ours was like."

"Like the way I hurt you?" she croaked out, intertwining her fingers with yours - thumb rubbing gentle circles against your cold skin. "We'll work through it, together. I know what I'm walking into, I'm not as naive as I used to be. It won't be easy, but I love you. And I can't let this go - I'll never love again if it's not you."

You braced your hands on her hips, pulling her again. You welcomed her in, arms wrapped around her body - never wanting to let go. You stayed like this for a while; the comfortable silence filling all the missing puzzle pieces in your life. "I'm scared."

"I know," she sighed, rubbing your back with her palms. "I'm here now."

For years, you were lost. But not anymore. She was here now and you were home. Again.

[fanfiction4sooya]

Hiii!!

May I request top Jennie using dub reader as her little fuck toy, or something like that

Like with Jennie being a top I mean degrading the reader and riding the readers face

Thank you bby 🫶🏻

I am sorry for answering these just now after months... I'll do my best to write the requests I had before the hiatus thing. That being said... I hope you like this one. 💖💖💖 (ps: i'm getting back to writing just now so this isn't my best work of all times lol)

cw: humiliation, face slapping, face sitting, fingering, gagging, age gap, power imbalance, face fucking, not proof read, etc.

You were finally at the place you were supposed to be.

Alright, okay, it was an internship but it was an internship at the design department of Chanel. That basically meant you could only climb further to the top, and nothing and no one could stand in your way.

It was your third week and everything was going smoothly... sort of.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you quickly answered.

"Hello, is this the Chanel intern speaking?" You heard your best friend's voice and smiled.

"Yes it is" You sounded way too cocky but that was the fun of it. "Is this the new Versace intern speaking?" You asked and Ning exploded in a mix of screams and laughter.

"hell yes it is!" You guys briefly spoke about a few matters until she finally popped the question you were waiting. "So... did you meet my sister there?"

"I already know your sister from your house" You rolled your eyes.

"yes but here you only met Jennie" She said. "In there she is Ms. Kim, CEO and head of the department. Believe me, I know the difference."

"I know, I know..." You took a sip of your coffee in your desk on the lobby of Jennie's office. "Of course we met, I am basically her assistant" You sounded defeated.

"Why the sad voice? Is she giving you a hard time?" Ning sounded concerned and you pouted a bit.

"I think she is trying to state that it's not because me and you are friends that she is going to treat me any different..." You were interrupted by the sound of her private elevator. "Gotta go!" You immediately hang up, getting up to wait for her by the door.

As soon as it opened you felt your heart drop. Jennie was everything you aimed to be, had everything you wanted to have. Of course she didn't spare you a glance and of course that made her feel even more alluring to you.

"Good morning, Ms Kim" You bowed and she handed you her bag and coat, going straight to her office and shutting the door off. You took a deep breath, the perfume on her coat being the most inebriating thing you've ever felt in your life. Of course you knew it was not just her perfume, but her natural scent as well.

🌸🌸🌸.

The afternoon went smoothly, you two went to one meeting and that was it. Jennie let you go alone to your place of work to finish a few documents for her as she went to check a few things.

You got back and went straight to work, knowing very well she hated when you delayed anything she asked you to do. She commanded everything with an iron fist.

As you worked you could see the expensive coat hanging from the corner of your eye. It was so beautiful and smooth and... it smelled like her. It was as if you were in a daydream, you could feel yourself walking but with no real thought in mind, reaching it but not really minding that you were still inside the building and that she was there too.

You stopped in front of the huge mirror in front of her office, she loved looking at herself and you knew exactly why. She was perfect. You wanted to be like her.

You tried the black fur coat over your tight outfit, a baby pink mini skirt and matching blazer over a white button up.

You stared at yourself in the mirror, engulfed in her perfume, her scent, imagining how it would feel being her for a whole day, feeling the coat as if you were feeling your own skin in an almost erotic motion, up and down; But it wasn't your own self you were lingering to touch. You wanted to feel her, touch her.

"Having fun?" Her voice felt like a bucket of cold water, not only alerting you to what you just did but scaring the hell out of you.

"Ms Kim, I-" You stuttered and she raised her perfect hand in a 'Stop talking" kind of motion. You swallowed your words, along with the tears threatening to escape your eyes.

She felt even more overpowering standing there with her eyes on you, her perfect posture and incredibly expensive suit did nothing to help your heart lower the crazy beating.

"Who gave you permission for that?" She said, slowly walking towards you, her gaze heavy on your already shaky body.

"I am sorry i just- I thought..." You tripped over your words as her eyes roamed over your figure. She scoffed.

"You thought?" She arched one perfect eyebrow. "I really didn't knew you were capable of such thing" Her voice was venomous and you lowered your gaze, pouting.

"I am sorry" You finally managed to say, starting to take off the coat.

"Keep it on" You stopped and she continued, grabbing your face between her fingers, her nails sinking in a bit. "I think we should play a little game" Her body was so close to yours your knees were almost giving up on holding your weight as her breath fanned over your lips. "You give me something good and I don't kick you out for touching what's mine" She scanned your beautiful face: red cheeks, furrowed eyebrows, closed eyes to avoid her cat like ones.

A single tear escaped your eyes as she rolled hers in annoyance.

"What should I give you, ma'am?" You asked but she shook her head, turning your face towards the mirror and you whimpered. She smiled, nearing her lips to your ear.

"What could a little dumb intern possibly give me that I don't already have?" She whispered and you felt goosebumps, watching your reflection on the mirror. You were pretty sure that was a wet dream of yours.

"Please..." Your hand held her wrist and she made you look into her eyes again. They were like a fire, slowly burning yours. "I will give you anything you want but please don't fire me" You gulped, feeling yourself getting wet. What she wanted crossed your mind and you really prayed you were correct.

"Anything?" She playfully said and you took her by surprise when your knees touched the floor, both hands on your thighs, lowering your eyes to her expensive shoes.

Of course the dom inside her saw the erotic side of kneeling when you did it, she just didn't think you'd be bold enough to do what you did next.

You reached for the button of her trousers and she followed your movements with her eyes, not moving to see until where you'd go. Your trembling hands unzipped them, and you pulled them down to her ankles, a drenched mess as you saw her lacy underwear visibly shining with wetness seeping trough.

You whimpered when she held your chin up, staring at your pleading demeanor with a smile forming on her lips.

"I could report you for sexual harassment right now" She said and you panicked a bit.

"Please don't..." Your eyes were full of tears now. She smiled even wider, her thumb caressing your lower lip.

Oh Jennie Kim... not just her eyes were a cat's, her actions were much like a feline's as well, playing with her prey before actually devouring it. Enjoying the despair on your face as she pushed the digit between your lips and you promptly sucked on it, rolling your tongue over it and closing your eyes.

She kicked her trousers off her ankles, taking you off of that trance when she pulled you by the hair so you would open your eyes.

"Tongue out" She commanded and you did what she said, whimpering and bawling your fists. "Unbutton your blouse" Your trembling hands did as she told and her eyes darkened by seeing your boobs and tummy. She spat on your tongue without warning, watching her saliva and yours trickle down to your boobs and chin. "Fuck"

Without saying any more words she pulled her panties to the side and mounted your face, lowering her pulsing cunt to your lips, feeling the vibrations of your moans against her core.

She tasted like heaven, her thick wetness made you roll your eyes as she held your head with both hands to grind better on your gorgeous face.

"I knew you had to be good for something" She growled, speeding up the pace so her clit could get stimulated faster as your nose bumped it.

The pleasure she felt was not only on the fact that you were so willing to give her good head, no; it was in the way you so willingly submitted to her. That was a dream of hers since the first time you entered her parent's house with her sister: short little skirt and a gullible expression, ready to be thrown around like a little doll.

But Jennie was a patient woman and of course she picked on your personality traits to realize you enjoyed being degraded , ignored and of course, coerced by the right person. That's why she put on some effort to have you under her eyes at all times, under her command.

You thought she was your obsession but little did you know she was the one obsessing over you.

"That's right, keep going" She said, rolling her hips against your lips. She saw in first hand how your pupils grew wider, your hands tempted to hold her by the ass so you could savor her better.

Suddenly she forcefully pulled you away by the hair, your hooded eyes and glistening face made her pride grow inside of her. You whined trying to get your face back where it belong.

"Please, more..." You were shaking, drooling like a mad animal.

You felt a sharp sting on your cheek and that made you clench, specially when Jennie kneeled in front of you to lick your cheek up and down until she stopped on your neck.

"Dumb little thing" She said, harshly sucking on your skin. "Do you want me back in your mouth, pup?" She said and you mewled, nodding. Another slap. "Use your words, slut" She held your hair by the nape so you'd look into her eyes.

"Yes ma'am, please let me lick you please please" You cried out, desperate to make her feel good. She smiled, pushing you to lay down as she pushed open your legs, a satisfied grin on her perfect lips.

"Oh, I knew you'd enjoy eating me out but you are soaked" she admired the wet patch on your panties, promptly pulling them from you. "Open your mouth" She commanded and you did as she told, feeling the fabric being pushed past your lips deep down almost in your throat. You gagged, gasping for air and she stopped. "Keep it there and don't you dare touch my hair" her voice was dangerous and you almost glued your hands to your sides.

She spread your pussy lips, admiring your hole and pretty pussy, spitting on it before giving it a tempting lick to taste you. Jennie nearly growled, latching her lips to your clit and your scream was muffled by the fabric in your mouth. You saw not only stars when she licked your slit next, humming upon feeling your taste.

Her nails dug in your thighs and you hissed, trembling a lot and making her smile against your wet pussy; Her tongue kept circling your clit and with not much effort she plucked two of her digits inside you to harshly thrust them up, quickly finding your gspot and rubbing it.

"I wanna hear you now" She got up to your face, puling the panties from your mouth and you gave her a relieved moan, your eyes full of tears as you felt her relentless pounding, knuckles deep inside you. "Such a good little slut" She said, finally kissing your lips.

Her lips felt delicious and you clenched when you managed to feel your taste on them, creaming on her fingers, rolling your eyes when her tongue didn't stop the assault on yours. She gave your tongue a harsh suck and you almost cried, hugging her against you, trying your best to feel her. You needed that woman; everything, anything.

You could feel your heartbeat in your ears; she ws your best friend's big sister, the unapproachable Jennie Kim.

Oh you were fucked. So fucked.

Without stopping her fingers she got up enough to fully sit on your face in a 69 position and you could finally feel that heavenly taste again, moaning against her core and hooking your arms on her thighs to hold her down. Who cares if it was suffocating? You got the chance to make the Jennie Kim feel good, it was worth dying for it.

"god" You felt her mutter against your clit, humping your face full force, you could see her hole clenching and unclenching the more she moaned against you. "I'm gonna paint your pretty face with my cum" She said through gritted teeth and without much warning you came, melting under her, shaking like a leaf in the wind, going limp as she kept the relentless pace of staining your whole face with her juices while she came as well, that creamy liquid delicious against your lips and face.

You just laid there, taking whatever she wanted you to take as she kept humping, trembling on top of you, her breath heavy as she tried to recompose herself.

Without warning (again because of course she didn't need to tell you shit) she got up, dressing herself as you tried to do the same but you only managed to sit on your ankles, knees on the floor again. She collected your juices from her chin on her fingers, stretching her hand out to you and your foggy brain thought she was helping you get up.

"Don't be dumb" She said, rolling her eyes. "Clean my fingers, pup" You pouted, obeying. Your tongues swirled against her fingers as the two of you made eye contact, her dilated pupils following every move you made. "Enough" She said and you got back to positioning yourself on your knees, lowered head. "For a dumb little intern you are quite a fast learner" she held you by the chin. "I wonder who else you kneeled to" She said, annoyed by that thought.

Jennie let your face go, bending to get your panties from the floor.

"Keep the coat" Her eyes sparkled. "I'll keep these" She put it in her pocket as prize, taking a black card from it. "You are mine now" She handed you the card. "Buy more lingeries and nice outfits for you" Jennie said leaving to get in her office. "I still want a lot of things from you, pup" She said, closing her door and leaving you dumbfounded on the floor.

[new-revenant]

Alright! Time to share all of what I have of the 4th chapter. It’s not much, but hey, it’s something. Here is the Ao3 link to the other 3 chapters. And unfortunately, the story is on indefinite hiatus because I just. Couldn’t do it ha, got overwhelmed and majorly burnt out. Anyhow, hope you enjoy what I do have. 872 words.

Edit: Opps! Forgot to tag you haha @bianca-hooks123

When Danny woke up, he was surprised at how refreshed he felt. He really hasn’t a good night’s sleep in a while, huh. His body didn’t ache, his left arm finally felt normal, and the bruises he had were gone. If not for still being trapped in his ghost form, he would’ve been having the time of his life!

As he sat up, Danny noticed that his tray of food was unfortunately gone. But, he now had a new tray of food, breakfast edition! It still had the same mix of human and Tamaranean on it, which was nice. His water bottle was refilled, accompanied by a cup of strawberry milk right next to it.

Danny quickly set out to eat all of the food, like eating the dry cereal and then drinking the entirety of the milk right after, as God intended. He didn’t eat as fast as he did last night-er, before he fell asleep. He honestly had no idea what time it was, and couldn’t see a clock nearby. A clock.

Clockwork.

Danny had to stop eating for a moment, trying to calm down the rage that was beginning to simmer. It’ll all be fine, everything back home would be fine, he just needs to pass whatever this test is and punch Clockwork in the face, then he’d be good to go. But what about this universe? Would he be able to go back here? Would he need to? Would he want to?

Danny shook his head, “No time to worry about that,” he muttered to himself, “Just eat your food, and read this note you just noticed was here.”

Danny picked up the note that he must’ve missed because he was too focused on the food. It was not written in English, or had any letters he was familiar with, and he was pretty sure spoken English here was the same as it was in his universe. It was most likely in one of the written languages of Tamaraneans, since everyone-expect Batman-thought he was a Tamaranean.

Danny flipped the note around, hoping for an English translation. The back of the note had more writing, but it was still in Tamaranean. Well that sucked. Now he has to find someone to read the note, and considering the note’s in Tamaranean, it was probably from either Starfire or Nightwing, maybe saying that they were off doing stuff. Even if Danny couldn’t read it, he did have a half-decent intuition!

With a sigh, Danny put the note back down and decided to finish his breakfast. It was so good, definitely better than anything his parents cooked for him. Who would definitely be okay if Nocturn was to be believed. Wait, was Nocturn telling the truth? Danny shook his head again, he had to believe Nocturn, for the sake of his own sanity.

Once Danny finished his food, he got out of the bed, and looked around the infirmary. He noticed three things; one, there was a clock in here and showed that it was 3 o’clock-whether it was AM or PM he didn’t know, two, someone else was in infirmary, and three, there was a box right in front of his bed.

First things first, the person in the bed was someone he hasn’t seen yet, with white, giant wings on their back. They looked they were in pain and was hooked up to something. They were already awake and was looking over at Danny.

“Ah, hello there kid,” they said with a small wave, “I’m Hawkgirl, glad you’re feeling better. Heard you weren’t in such a good state when you came in here.”

“Well, this is the infirmary,” Danny joked, “But I think I just used up too much energy.”

“Didn’t you also fall hundreds of feet from the sky?”

“Wow news spreads fast here huh? I healed pretty quickly from that though.”

“If you count being asleep for two days fast, then yes, you have.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been asleep for how many days?” Danny couldn’t believe it, two days? That means he’s already been gone for…two minutes back home so he probably didn’t need to worry about that.

“You’ve been asleep for two days,” Hawkgirl’s voice held a pinch of sadness as she spoke, “I wish I could convert Earth days to Tamaranean days, but I don’t know the conversion rate. Starfire might, but she’s on-world right now.”

“It’s okay. Also do you um, know how to read this?” Danny showed her his note, “I can’t read.”

Hawkgirl inhaled sharply, with Danny already knowing what she was going to say and he groaned.

“Yeah yeah you don’t know either, it’s fine,” Danny pinched the bridge of his nose, “Uh, newtopicnewtopic…how are you doing? Got injured in a fight?”

“Unfortunately, yes, I have,” Hawkgirl sighed, “This strange, ghost-like creature managed to mess up some of my internal-“

“Wait a minute, er-sorry for interrupting you but did you say ghost? Like the see-through dead guys?”

“I’m unsure, Batman is looking into it. Oh, and he left that box of clothes for you not too long ago.”

“Ah, that’s what the box was for. Well, I’m going to wander around this spaceship-thing until I find a place to change.”

[light-yaers]

Take Care: Chapter Eight

Fic Masterpost | AO3 | Chapter List

Warnings: swearing, eventual smut, emotional themes.

A/N: sorry about how long this took i am busy and tired and also didn't want to write all this sad shit but alas, i did it. we are officially done with season one! i will be taking a small hiatus before i get to posting the next chapters for season two, but i cannot wait to continue this for you all. mwah mwah mwah

Word count: 8.8k

Chapter Eight

As your final week at the Dogtrack began, you found yourself already getting nostalgic. You wandered the lower levels gently, strolling in and out of every room, before you ascended the steps to the upper levels. You slalomed through the concessions, waving hello to the bar workers, cleaners, and others who were getting ready for the final game of the season that Saturday. You ascended another level to reach Rebecca’s office, and when her door loomed before you, you knocked upon it. 

Rebecca shot you a look of understanding when you entered her office, almost sullenly. You tried to keep your spirits up, but she could see right through you about this– the same way everyone else could when you gently popped your head around the locker room door that morning. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” Rebecca said, opening her arms warmly as you clicked the door shut behind you. 

You allowed her to encase you in a hug, one where you couldn’t help but imagine her as the Virgin Mary and you as her tiny baby Jesus. Rebecca’s bosom was just that comforting that you couldn’t liken it to anything else, but you would never tell her that. Not in a million years.

“Are you okay?” she asked, as she removed her calming grip from you. 

You nodded once. “Yeah,” you said, but your voice cracked involuntarily. “Maybe,” you added, and it only made Rebecca laugh sympathetically. 

“Did you submit your final assignment?” she asked. 

“Yes, thank fuck,” you breathed out, before you flopped yourself onto the sofa. “Every last thing I needed to do has been done, so now I just… wait, I guess.”

Rebecca dropped herself beside you and crossed her legs. “Waiting isn’t so bad of a thing, I suppose. I waited to see the Spice Girls live for over a year, and it turned out brilliant.”

“I think waiting for a concert is vastly different than this, Rebecca,” you let out. You spread yourself out on her sofa, starfish style. She reached out and grabbed your knee affectionately. “I’m not waiting for a once in a lifetime performance, I’m waiting for the inevitable end of coming to this place every fucking day.” You lifted your head up quickly, and shot a wild gaze her way. “What if they all forget about me?��

“That’s not fucking possible,” she said strongly. “And if you go off the radar then you can count on Keeley and I coming to batter down your damn door, or someone else.”

“Someone else?” you questioned, and your mind immediately went to Lasso. “I don’t think Ted would do that. He’s far too soft and squishy to break down a door, don’t you think?” you rattled off. 

“I didn’t mean Ted,” Rebecca said, squeezing your knee gently. You inhaled when she looked at you knowingly, before you dropped your head back down to stare at the ceiling. She didn’t need to say a name for you to know that she meant Roy. 

Roy Kent would definitely batter down doors, you thought, but whether or not yours would come into that equation was a mystery. He hadn’t battered down your door before, only knocked and begged to come inside… 

Was that the same thing?

“They’re going to bench him,” you said plainly. 

“I know,” Rebecca said. 

“I think he knows it, too,” you said. 

“I think you’re right,” Rebecca said, before she retracted her grip from you. She stood up strongly, and peered down at you like a giant. “No more moping, come on,” she said, as you allowed her to hoist you from the sofa. 

“If I can’t mope, what the fuck am I supposed to do for the next five days?” 

Rebecca smiled. “Enjoy it,” she said. “Before it’s all over, enjoy it.” 

On Tuesday, you grabbed a coffee from the cafe in the morning like normal. You scuffed your feet on the concrete as you headed to your office afterwards, but got immediately side tracked when you heard a ruckus from the locker room. Without dropping off your belongings, you headed there first to check out what was wrong. 

You entered the uncharacteristically quiet locker room, only to discover Ted, Nate, Higgins and Rebecca. 

“Why so hostile, Nathan?” Rebecca said, as a mischievous smile graced her face. 

“Wait… you know my name?” Nate asked, as you slowed to an almost comically paced slow walk. You held your breath, not wanting to interrupt the four of them. 

“I needed to know it for when I wrote your contract,” she said, before she sent a look your way. She winked at you, and you were reminded of a text from Roy a few weeks prior– Nate was due to get promoted, but for the past month he’d been afraid he was going to get fired. 

You had to admit it, but the look on his face was fucking hilarious. 

Ted smacked a hand down on Nate’s shoulder. “You’re not getting fired, buddy, you’re getting promoted!”

All of a sudden, the closed blinds of the manager’s office revealed the screaming team of AFC Richmond behind. They yelled and cheered, and Colin let off a confetti cannon as he burst through the door and into the main locker room. Nate’s shock and fear dissipated immediately, turning into excitement and appreciation, as soon as he locked eyes with Rebecca again. 

She handed him his contract, and the word coach at the top made him want to cry. This was what he’d wanted for so long, but what he’d never dared to think about achieving. Seeing his name on this contract, however, made everything change. He’d made it. He’d really fucking made it. The guys gathered like a swarm of bugs, picking Nate easily off the floor and gently swinging him in the air triumphantly. You laughed at their joy, their excitement, as you peered up at him atop Isaac’s and Sam’s shoulders. 

Roy gently approached you from behind. He skidded his knuckles across your lower back, alerting you to his presence. You crossed your arms and leaned back into him without even thinking. Your upper back thumped against his chest gently, as the two of you kept your eyes on an overjoyed Nathan.

You twisted yourself around and looked up at the smile on Roy’s face. You jabbed him in the abdomen gently, as he peered down at you. “You’ve gone soft,” you said, just loud enough for him to hear. 

Roy sniffed, trying to puff out his chest to counteract your words. “No I fucking haven’t,” he said, but it was clear that you were right. 

Without hesitation, you raised your hand to his face and gently prodded his cheek. “I think I just felt a tear,” you joked, before you prodded again. You widened your eyes in false shock. “No, I definitely did. You’re on the brink of crying, aren’t you?” 

Roy’s attempt at staying stoic went out the window upon your second prod. He swiftly pushed your hand away and guided your shoulders around to face the rest of the room, before he playfully wrapped his arms over your shoulders and chest. You leaned further into him, bringing your hands to grab hold of his forearms strongly. He was so close to resting his chin on the top of your head, and part of him wanted to, but he didn’t. You refrained from tilting your head back from fear that he’d pull away. 

Instead, the two of you swayed from side to side gently, smiling, laughing, peering out at the joyous scene before you. Neither of you dared to question the position you were in, whether mental or physical. You simply held on for dear life, and chose not to focus on the fact this would all be over in a matter of days. 

On Wednesday, you took your laptop outside to the stands. You sat there for most of the day, tapping upon your keyboard, until the late afternoon sun shone against the blue and red plastic seats of the Dogtrack. You only went inside to piss, or eat, or drink, but even those times were sparse. Even by the time practice had been and gone, you were still outside, soaking up the sun. 

The echo of footsteps on the opposite side of the stadium hit you, and when you looked up you were surprised to see the small outline of Roy. He headed to one of the blue seats in the stands, hands in his leather jacket pockets. You gently went to close your laptop, thinking about joining him, but you stopped when you saw another figure emerge. Ted walked up the stairs of the stands, before he slotted himself beside Roy in the sea of blue. 

Innately, you knew what they were going to talk about. Pulling off the bandaid. Quickly and without fuss, you grabbed your belongings and headed back inside. The guys were packing up to head home after a long day. You bumped into Sam in the corridor, and strolled to the car park together. 

“Do you need a lift? I can drop you home,” he offered, as you approached his car. Further down the car park, you saw Roy’s Jeep. 

You shook your head gently. “Thank you, but I’m good,” you said. Sam followed your eyes to Roy’s Jeep, and when he looked back at you, there was an understanding look on his face. 

“See you tomorrow?” he questioned. 

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” you replied, beaming. 

Sam drove off a moment later. When you were alone, you strolled towards Roy’s Jeep and leaned against the passenger side door gently. The Spring sun shone off the hood, casting an orange glow over the entire car park. This reminded you of before, the first time he’d ever driven you home from the stadium. The sun was the same colour, and it was so vibrant that his pitch black car had erupted with a volcanic glow. 

Secretly, you thought the colour orange suited Roy. 

You crossed your arms and looked at the ground, waiting for the inevitable moment that Roy appeared. You didn’t want him to be alone, not for this–  not ever, really– so you planted yourself on the concrete, content with waiting for him to finally leave for home. 

Roy stormed through the stadium, gym bag in one hand and his car keys in the other. He huffed through his nose painfully as he opened the doors to the car park, and was ready to scream at the top of his fucking lungs– until he saw you. You leaned against his Jeep, head down to the point where your hair covered the obviously sleepy expression on your face. Your arms were crossed over your chest, and your knees were slightly bent from tiredness. 

He slowed his pace as he approached you, and unlocked his car with his keys. You felt the car vibrate behind you, and noticed the flash of lights as it unlocked. When you looked up, Roy was no more than a metre away from you, and still fast approaching. You sucked in a gentle breath as he tugged open the passenger side door for you. 

“Jump in,” was all he said, and you didn’t have to be told twice. He shut the door behind you after you were settled and jumped into the driver’s seat. He started the engine, leaving the car park as fast as he possibly could.

The drive was silent. Roy didn’t turn on the radio, nor did you ask him to, either. When he turned down your street, he pulled onto the curb outside your building. He cut the engine, and the interior went utterly silent. Gently, you looked at him. He looked back, and his stare was enough to make you melt. 

You sucked in a deep breath. “Do you want to talk about it?” you asked. 

Roy’s knuckles tightened on the steering wheel. His entire body tensed. “No,” he said plainly. 

“Okay,” you said gently, shooting him a small smile in understanding. “If you want to, you know where I am.”

Roy nodded, trying to keep it together. “Yeah,” he said, but it came out forcefully, like he didn’t want to show what he was truly feeling. You didn’t press him, but instead grabbed your bag and slung it over your shoulder. 

“See you tomorrow?” you asked, as you laid your hand on the door handle. 

“Yeah,” Roy said again, hiding behind the pain in his chest.

You got out of his Jeep, and slammed the door shut behind you. You sent him a small wave from the pavement, and before you could even reach your door, he’d switched on the ignition and veered off down the road. 

On Thursday, Roy didn’t come to the stadium. His absence was felt by everyone, especially the team. Ted was quiet for most of the day, trying to keep up his commonplace enthusiasm, but it was clear that he felt guilty. No one blamed him, but that didn’t stop him from feeling like he’d done the unthinkable. 

You grabbed lunch with Keeley, but the quiet and sombre feeling from the stadium had rubbed off on you, too. You swirled your fork in your plate of pasta, and had hardly touched your glass of wine. Keeley cleared her throat opposite you, before she leaned forward gently. 

“Babe,” she started, as you met her eye. “It’ll be alright,” she said, trying to keep things light. 

“Sorry, I’m being such a fucking downer, aren’t I?” you breathed out, before attempting to perk yourself up. 

“It’s understandable. Change is scary,” she said. 

“It’s like, even though I try not to, I’m counting down the minutes until it’s all over. At five o’clock tomorrow evening, I’ll be done at Richmond.” Saying it outloud had you getting choked up. You swallowed quickly to stop your throat from closing up. 

The cogs in Keeley’s brain started whirring. “You sound just like Roy, you know? In your article, when he talked about not knowing what to do after he retired.” You listened to her intently, thankful for her kindness. “There will always be opportunities beyond the now, especially for talented fuckers like you and him,” she said, and you huffed at her bluntness. “You must have had employers in touch after the article, surely?”

You nodded at her, and thought about your inbox full of job offers. “I’ve had a few, yeah. That’s not what I’m worried about, though. I could work anywhere, I think it’s just… everything else, that’s getting me down.”

The end of the season. The threat of relegation. Saying goodbye. Every-fucking-thing. 

“You’ve got time,” Keeley reassured you. “Your lease at the flat doesn’t end until July, you’ve got job offers left right and fucking centre, and, well– you’ve got Roy.”

You furrowed your brows quizzically, but that was counteracted by the small smile that curled onto your lips. “Got Roy for what?”

Keeley sent you an amused look. “Oh, come on. Don’t be like that,” she said, as she shoved another mouthful of pasta in her gob. “I see the way you two are when you’re together.”

You huffed. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, here.”

Keeley dropped her fork and pointed at you abruptly. “You’re in denial, babes.”

“I am not–”

“Yes, you fucking are! You’ve been around a whole bunch of sexy footballers for months now, one of which has gone out of his way for you, your degree and your future, not to mention he showed up at your door with an apology fit for a fucking queen. All I’m saying is, if I was in your shoes, I would have had him at least three times by now–”

“Keeley,” you warned her, through a wave of amusement. 

“What? Not even a fucking kiss? What a bloody waste,” she said, before she grinned at you with her teeth mischievously. 

“The last thing Roy needs right now is me scuttling around him.” You took a sip of your wine. “He’s got enough on his plate as it is, and I don’t want to make it worse.”

“Do you hear yourself, babes?” Keeley said, her eyes wide. “You’re exactly what he fucking needs right now.”

You scoffed at that, reminded of yesterday in his car. “No, I’m not. Even at the best of times, Roy has the emotional output of a fucking teacup, but yesterday…” you trailed off, taking another sip– more like a gulp– of wine. 

“Was it bad?” Keeley asked. 

You nodded. “Yeah, it was bad.” 

Keeley leant across the table and grabbed your hand quickly. Her touch had superpowers, you thought. You always felt infinitely better when she found a soft way to reassure you. “His feelings aren’t your problem to fix, babes. You’ve let him know you’re there to support him, which is all any of us can do.”

You nodded, and let out a pent up breath. “Yeah,” you said, smiling at her. “You’re right, it’ll be fine.”

“All you need to focus on is enjoying the last days of your placement, alright?”

You chuckled at her. “I can do that. For you, I can do that.” 

Keeley squeezed your hand harder, and you let her. The two of you clinked your glasses together, as you enjoyed the final lunch break meal of your placement at AFC Richmond. 

On Friday, you started clearing out your office. You shoved all your supplies, books, post-its from Sam and the like, into a cardboard box that you could walk home with at the end of the day. You sat at your desk in the morning for the last time, and opened up your laptop despite having no fucking work to do. You skimmed through your emails, and added interview dates in your calendar, but you had to stop and hold your breath when you saw a new email fly into your inbox. 

It was from Pluto Press, the publisher that you’d meant to have your original placement with. They reached out after reading your article in the Independent, and had asked to set up a meeting for a possible job opening. Just like that, cogs had started flying into place. 

If you got a job there, you’d be able to stay in Richmond. In your flat, around your friends, around the boys, and around the club. You emailed back immediately, letting them your availability for an interview, and started curating a portfolio of your work before and during your time at AFC Richmond. Keeley was right— change was scary, but it was also exciting.

You just had to let yourself believe it all.

By lunch, you’d cleared out your entire office. It looked too bare, too empty. You swiped your hands over the cinder block walls— walls that you’d become so familiar with that it seemed painful to know you’d be leaving them behind in a matter of hours. 

Behind you, Sam knocked at your door. You turned and met his eye, and sent him a saddened smile.

“All packed up?” he asked, looking at the emptiness of it all.

You nodded, letting out a huff. “It feels so weird. I feel like I haven’t been here nearly long enough, but also for years at the same time.”

He strolled further into your office. You felt calm when he was near. “This place will do that to you. Make you settled and comfortable, but that is when time passes you by without realising.” 

“Yeah,” you acknowledged him gently, before sighing. “Are you on your second workout already?” Sam nodded. You stepped forward, and could see the other guys headed to the gym together through the door. A question danced in your mind. “No Roy today?” 

Sam shook his head. “We think he switched off his mobile. We’ve tried to reach out, but—,” He shrugged. “Nothing.” 

“I tried on Wednesday,” you said, as you leaned against your empty desk. “It was the same. Like he was feeling everything and nothing at the same time.”

“That has always been Roy’s way, I think,” Sam said. “He will come back if he wants to, and he knows we will be here if he does. No one is to blame for this.” 

“I know,” you breathed out shakily. “But, that’s just it, isn’t it?” You peered up at Sam’s soft and welcoming face, and you knew then that he understood you wholeheartedly. It felt good to be known. “It’s out of our control— but that’s when I want to fix things even more. It’s gutting to know we can’t do anything.” 

“That is because you are kind,” Sam said, and stepped towards you once more. “Too kind for your own good, sometimes. You want to fix everything all of the time, and feel responsible for other people’s feelings far too much, might I add.”

You huffed, feeling vulnerable. “Come off it.” 

“See!” Sam exclaimed. “You just proved my point for me.” 

You waved him off playfully. “Yeah, yeah, yeah…” you trailed off. 

Sam settled comfortably. “I am going to miss this.” 

This. Your chats. Your moments of shared clarity. Sharing a space with one another every day of the week. 

You ignored the strain you felt when your throat closed suddenly. You swallowed away the urge to cry. “Me too.” 

He headed towards your door then, smiling knowingly as he left. “I will see you after?” he asked, lingering on the doorway.

You nodded strongly, despite the rapid way your eyes were welling up. “I’ll be here.” 

You finished up some final emails in your bare office, before you sat in the cafe with a cup of tea for the remainder of the day. When the clock hit 4:30pm, you left sullenly. You felt a strange sense of peace as you navigated the empty corridors of the lower level, and were surprised to find the gym and locker room utterly empty.

The guys were nowhere to be seen, and Ted and Beard’s office was quiet of all Americans and Brits alike, too. You sighed to yourself, as you looked up at the yellow believe poster above the manager’s doorway.

You couldn’t believe this was it. Your last day. You’d spent nine months strolling up and down these corridors and rooms, sharing smiles and commiserations with the team, a joke with Ted, a look at Roy. When you thought back to the September before, you’d been so annoyed to be in this position, but now? 

You wouldn’t trade this experience for the world. 

It didn’t feel right, though. It didn’t feel like closure, because you knew that someone was missing. Roy wasn’t here. He wasn’t here on your final day to roll his eyes, or boom profanity, or offer to drive you home just to spend a few more moments with you. He wouldn’t be starting on the pitch tomorrow, or may not even show up at all, as you sat in the stands for your last game under contract at the club. 

It was almost too much to bear. You’d started your journey here with Roy, and it seemed only right to end it with him— but that wasn’t an option anymore.

You let the last of your composure fall away as you finally let go. Your eyes welled past the point of staying dry, as tears crept down your cheeks, tracking shining lines down your face. You peered around the room as you held yourself, taking in the red and blue everywhere, the numbers and names on the cubbies, and fluorescent lights overhead. You’d never expected for it all to feel so sad. Leaving, saying goodbye, moving onto other things. 

You realised then that, if you had the option, you’d stay at Richmond in a heartbeat. Fuck publishing. Fuck your book. You wanted the comfort of the cinder block walls and the laughter trickling from every room. 

You wanted to stay.

“Is it really the end already?” Ted said from the doorway. You jumped from the surprise, and turned to him quickly.

You wiped your tears away frantically, trying to hide your face, but when his soft and knowing smile hit you, it only increased your sadness. He strolled towards you gently, hands in his pockets. 

You sucked in a shaking breath before forcing yourself

to speak. “Give or take twenty minutes, but… yeah,” you let out, sputtering out embarrassed chuckles as you did so. 

Ted peered down at you. Him and his moustache smiled at you. “Come here,” he said gently, before he encased you in a hug. 

You let him hold you, as you laid your head on his shoulder and sniffed away the last of your tears. 

“I might be joining you on the goodbye train out of here, too, y’know?” he said, as you pulled away from his embrace. “Oh! You should come and visit Kansas!” You chuckled at the ease in his change of tone. “We’ve got great barbeque, and none of that brown watered monstrosity that you call tea.” 

“I love tea,” you croaked, as your voice levelled out and away from a wobbling mess.

“I just don’t get it! Roy said the same thing last night,” Ted whittled on. Your gut lurched at the mention of Roy’s name.

“You saw Roy?” you asked.

“I sure did. He stopped me from getting hit by one of those taxis— sorry, black cabs— last night. And we had a little chat afterwards at my place.” 

“How is he?” you asked, trying to keep the desperation from your voice, if that was even possible. 

Even just a few days without Roy had you feeling fucking crazy, especially after your drive home earlier in the week.

“He’s doing alright,” Ted’s voice settled. “About tomorrow’s match though, well… we’ll see.” 

You nodded in understanding. At the end of the day, it was Roy’s decision whether he wanted to show up or not. You prayed he would, prayed he’d be there to hear you scream your lungs out in the owner’s box for the last time during your placement. 

“I’ve got something for you,” Ted said suddenly, before he pulled out something from his pocket. You hovered your hand out for him, and he placed a small, green army man in your palm. “For protection. Just a little goodbye present,” he added, and your heart swelled.

You held it in your fingers, and felt a finality surge through you. You peered up at Ted thankfully. “I’ll miss you,” you said. 

“You, too.” Ted smiled. “Now, come on! The guys have something planned for you.” 

You followed Ted out of the locker room, sniffing away the last of your tears as you did so. He zoomed ahead as you tried to keep up with him, and turned to the left towards the tunnel towards the pitch. You emerged into the late afternoon light behind Ted, and what met your gaze had your heart in your throat immediately. 

The boys stood on the pitch, holding individual signs with letters upon them that spelled out the words– write about us. 

Starting from Isaac, all the way to Sam at the other end, those twelve letters burned themselves into your retinas. Behind those boys, the rest of the team cheered. As your last day at AFC Richmond came to its end, you felt more known than you ever had before. Each of these players, and coaches, and crew, knew you so wholeheartedly that you could hardly believe it. Your impact had spread around the stadium off Nelson Road like wildfire.

It only cemented the love you felt for them all. Even if you wanted to, they wouldn’t let you remove yourself from their team after this. You were Richmond till you died, and you had never been happier about something being set in stone.

As the group dispersed, Sam, Colin and Isaac approached you quickly. You let them encase you immediately, ignoring the slight suffocation of knotted limbs and laughing bellies that surrounded all of you. You would have let them smother you to death in a heartbeat. What a wonderful way to die that would be. 

“When you go out tonight, you better have enough drinks for all of us, bruv,” Isaac said, as the four of you gently parted. 

“I’d be downing a pint with you if it weren’t for Man City tomorrow,” Colin said. “It’s best we get an early night and keep up our strength for the game instead, you know?”

You smiled in understanding. “Don’t worry about me. Whatever happens tomorrow, we’ll be drinking in the pub after the game, anyway.”

Sam placed his hand on your shoulder and squeezed. “I am already looking forward to it.”

You sent a look at each of them in turn, trying to portray just how much you appreciated them, how much you loved them, but you felt like it had to be said in words. You sucked in a deep breath. “I will,” you started, but noticed their confused faces. “Write about you, I mean. There’s already too much of you all within me that I’ll have to get it out on paper sooner or later.” 

Colin and Sam smiled like the sun. Isaac’s face scrunched up painfully, until it was clear he was holding back tears in his eyes. 

You walked home in the dwindling Spring sun. Down Nelson Road, across Richmond green, past Mae’s pub, and the like– you knew Richmond like the back of your hand now, and had no desire to leave. Lucky for you, you had a feeling you’d land a position at Pluto Press soon, which meant you wouldn’t have to uproot yourself again. You could stay in your flat, stay close to the guys, stay close to Roy–

You cleared your throat abruptly at the thought of the Richmond captain. You hadn’t heard from him in two days, and didn’t know if he was going to show at the game tomorrow. It was none of your business, either, but you still felt a craving to let him know that you were there for him; through thick or thin, despite all the shit between you in the past, and even now. Roy Kent deserved to know how much you loved him, and your time at the stadium that day had only made you all the more nostalgic and emotional. 

When you got back to your flat, you quickly opened your laptop and printed out what you had in mind. You were practically jumping by your printer as the ink cascaded over the once blank page, and were bounding out of your door before the words had even dried.

You rushed down your road towards Roy’s house, not even thinking about what you’d do or say if he was at home or opened his door. As the sun began to fully set over your small neighbourhood in Richmond, the fancy houses that you passed seemed to almost loom over you. They cast shadows upon the pavements and empty roads, but you didn’t hesitate as you approached Roy’s driveway. 

Gently, you folded up the small piece of paper you’d printed, and placed it on his welcome mat by the front door. Inside, the lights were off, but you still knocked quickly before you turned on your heels and left. You weren’t about to wait around, or call in on him out of the blue– not after his long week. So, you left as soon as your knuckles were done wrapping on his door, and rounded his driveway before he could’ve opened his door and caught you. 

Roy saw you leave. Through the windows in his porch, and the large panes of glass that showed off his living room, he saw you approach his home and leave immediately after knocking. Before he could reach his door, you’d already turned the corner of his drive, back towards your building. 

The urge was there to shout out, to run after you and acknowledge how today was your final day at the club, but he held himself back. He hadn’t seen you since he’d driven you home, since he’d been feeling everything and nothing at the same time. He didn’t want to face you while he still felt the repercussions of it all, and especially not before the game. 

It was selfish, he knew, but you would have stuck around if you’d wanted to see him, too. As he looked out at his driveway, he wondered why you’d even bothered to knock upon his door and leave straight away– until he looked down. On his welcome mat was a small, folded piece of paper. Roy bent down and grabbed it, before he retreated inside, back to the dark. 

He didn’t like turning on his lights a lot of the time. It angered him that he had to pay to put on the lights in his home, and it felt even stupider that he needed them when he mostly looked at his phone screen, or the television. They were pointless, most of the time, but as he sat at his dining table, he turned on a lamp to the side of him.

He unfurled the note you’d left him, and as his eyes traced the printed ink– alongside some of your own writing– he found himself smiling. 

It was the email from your lecturer, when he’d told you about Roy’s impromptu visit to your university, all those months ago. It felt like it’d been five years, not a little over nine months. Beneath the email, you’d written something short and heartfelt– A reminder of the time that we became friends. Thank you for everything during my time at the club. Whether you play or not tomorrow, I’ll be yelling from the owner’s box for you. 

Roy sat back and inhaled deeply. “Fuuuuck,” he whispered. It cemented his decision for tomorrow in a millisecond; he would go, even if he was on the bench. He would go for you. 

As you walked to Nelson Road the next day, nerves bubbled in your gut incessantly. This was it, the final hurrah. Richmond’s threat of relegation was imminent, and it was only a matter of time before them and all the fans would witness their downfall. You didn’t even want to think about it, it felt blasphemous, but it was almost impossible not to understand how much this game meant. 

Even more so when you thought about Jamie Tartt. This was the first time in a while that he’d been back at Man City, and against his former teammates as a consequence. You knew that Jamie wouldn’t care– he’d go out there and play like he normally did, to an annoyingly good level despite his ego, and wouldn’t think twice about dominating against his old team. 

But the guys– they would feel every sting, they would take every hit, and they would be heading outside onto the pitch for an all out battle. You knew it well. 

Against your wishes, you chose not to go to the locker room and greet the guys before this game. Instead, you headed for the owner’s box immediately, and found yourself sitting there alone for the first twenty minutes before the pre-game started. You knew that Keeley and Rebecca would be around, but you were almost glad that you got some time to yourself. Just to breathe, to soak it all in, before you got ready to yell for your life. 

As the stadium started to fill up, your phone buzzed in your pocket. You fished it out, and when your eyes traced over the message,  the butterflies in your stomach seemed to mellow out. It was from Roy.

Still in the owner’s box? 

You smiled as you typed your reply, and sent it without any hesitation. 

Of course. Still not the caretaker?

Roy smiled at his phone in the locker room, sitting quietly as everyone prepared for the game. He’d just handed off his Captain armband to Isaac McAdoo, and didn’t fully know what he was feeling. Knowing you’d be outside when he stepped upon the pitch was enough at this moment. 

Not yet. I’ve still got game in me, even if I am on the fucking bench for this. 

It’s too bad. I was hoping to see you rightfully start on Jamie, but this time you’d be on the opposing team. All the more dramatic. 

Roy huffed to himself. It was impossible not to feel the comedy in your words as you sent them his way, both over text and in person. 

Don’t tempt me. I’ll still fucking do it if I get the chance. 

Looking forward to it. 

“Alright, fellas!” Ted clapped his hands together. Roy sent one last message, before he put his phone in his bag and out of the way. The boys settled into their pre-match pep talk, and that was that. 

You read Roy’s final reply, feeling a warmth that you’d never be able to describe. 

See you out there. 

Keeley, Rebecca and Higgins joined you soon after. As the minutes whittled down before kick-off, you tried and failed to place yourself in some kind of zen mode. The air was almost too thick, and coupled with the upset you felt about leaving Richmond, you spent the majority of the time until the players emerged trying not to fucking cry. 

The atmosphere shifted as soon as the players ran out of the tunnel. You held your breath as they lined up for the anthem, and leaned over the edge of the box so you could see them all better. The unmistakable look of a Captain band was on Isaac’s arm, over Roy’s, and you felt proud of them both. It mustn’t have been an easy decision for Roy to make, but he’d still done it. Isaac must have been feeling nerves ten times what he was used to, but he wore the band with pride. 

After the anthem, the teams split up on each side of the pitch. When Roy would usually head to his starting position, he exited off to the sides and headed towards Richmond’s bench. He slipped on a long-sleeve thermal, before he took a few moments to peer around the stadium stands. Richmond’s bench and coaches were right beneath the owner’s box; you had a full view of all the second string players and Ted and Beard alike. Seeing Roy there was like an entirely different feeling– he was closer to you, which you didn’t mind in the slightest. 

As Roy peered around the entire stadium, he twisted himself around to land his gaze upon the owner’s box. His eyes found you in seconds, and yours glued onto his in response. You leaned further over the lip of the box, and rested your chin on your knuckles as you looked at him. You smiled. He smiled back. Quickly, you shuffled your hand from beneath your chin and made a simple OK sign with your fingers. Roy chuckled to himself unavoidably, before he gently sent you an OK sign back. 

You glanced quickly at the pitch, and the match was about to begin. You stood abruptly, with Roy’s eyes still on you from below. Sucking in a deep breath, you exhaled it alongside your loudest Come on, Richmond! imaginable. 

Roy had to turn away to hide his smile. It was colossal as he headed towards the bench and sat down. It didn’t go away until the whistle blew and the game began. He waa going to miss seeing you everyday, but he knew that you would still go to games at the Dogtrack. That should have given him some comfort, but it didn’t. He knew his time was up. 

The game started, and you didn’t sit down for the first half in its entirety. Dani scored halfway through the first half, and you erupted when he did. You hugged Rebecca and Keeley like there was no tomorrow, and that early had the team in great spirits for the rest of the half– until it was fucked. A sneak attack had Man City emerge into the box, and with two minutes to go until the whistle blew for halftime, they equalised. You let out a heartfelt “Fuck!” when they did so, and found yourself dropping back into your seat glumly. They’d been so close, but they simply had to hold it together now. You watched silently as the team scuttled back to the locker room for the interval.

Ted had a plan up his sleeve. He had the power of Beard and Nate on his side, and they had the advantage of knowing City’s star player through and through– Jamie Tartt. If he was still the same after he left, then there was a chance that the guys knew how to get to him and mess up his game. It was a longshot, but it was a good place to start. 

They needed speed, that was for sure. When Jamie got the ball, it instilled the fear of man into every single person on the opposing team. He was unstoppable, and almost impossible to tackle when he got going. That was the goal– keep the ball as far away from Jamie fucking Tartt as they could. 

“We’re so close, guys,” Isaac spoke up suddenly. “Another goal, and we clinch the win. We just have to hold our defence together, you get me?” 

“Keep that ball away from Jamie,” Richard said, and nods of agreement rounded the room. 

“Exactly right, boys,” Ted joined in. “If we get out there, if we believe, we can do this!” The energy shifted tenfold, and the priorly defeated guys were pumped up once more. “Roy, you’re starting in the next half. I want you back on that pitch,” Ted added finally, before players started trickling out of the locker room. 

Roy glanced over at Isaac. Isaac gave him back his Captain armband without a second glance, smacking a hand on Roy’s shoulder warmly before they headed back to the pitch. 

Your heart jolted when Roy started in the second half. You knew Ted well enough to know that he wouldn’t bench Roy for the entire game, but it was a surprise when he swapped him out after halftime. It was true that Richmond needed fast players to keep up defensively, and despite Roy being slow now, you knew that he held more in terms of power. 

Players were scared of him. He had an anger that always came out on the pitch, one that left players, referees and coaches alike with a similar mindset– do not get on Roy Kent’s bad side, because he will make you pay. 

As the second half proceeded, it was anxiety inducing how little things happened. It was a full back and forth, with hardly any opportunities for Richmond or Man City to go for a goal. Both teams had put their defences up tenfold, and neither wanted to risk that and fuck up the rest of their game. It was almost like a stalemate, like a disaster waiting to happen. 

As full time approached, you could hardly fucking breathe. You clutched Keeley’s hand tightly as the guys kept up with each other, and simply tried to get through this shit. Jamie hadn’t yet found an opportunity to break through, until there were less than five minutes in it. When he snuck through, you shot up from your seat and screamed. 

“Tartt’s going for the box!” you screeched at the top of your lungs, clutching your hand over your heart and crunkling the Richmond shirt that you donned fondly. 

The home fans in the crowd rose intensely, as they noticed a player creeping up behind Jamie. Even Arlo and Chris in the commentator box could hardly believe it– Roy was going for Tartt, running at speeds that hadn’t been seen from him for a matter of years. He was stealthy, pumping his arms in perfect harmony with his legs, until he launched himself into a perfect sliding tackle.

You raised your hands to your mouth as he did so, and the ball was knocked from Jamie’s orbit as the two of them dropped to the grass harshly. The cheers for Roy were impossible to block out, and you joined in as soon as you recognised the familiar tune. 

He’s here, he’s there, he’s every-fucking-where! Roy Kent! Roy Kent! 

You rejoiced with Keeley and Higgins in turn, pumping your arms triumphantly within the owner’s box, until the clock restarted– but that moment didn’t come. Instead, as you laid your eyes back out onto the pitch, Jamie reluctantly stood and shook himself off after that tackle, but Roy…

“He’s not getting up,” Keeley said, confused. “Why isn’t he getting up?”

Your eyes burned as you took in the image of Roy, sprawled on the ground, clutching his kneecap. Something was wrong, and that was plain to see. Your heart skipped a beat in your chest. This couldn’t be it, surely. This couldn’t be the time he wasn’t able to get up and keep playing. Not now. 

Sam and Isaac approached him quickly, and huddled around him. The physio was on stand-by, and Ted and Beard were practically chewing off their fingernails in anticipation. Sam helped Roy up slowly, dragging him up from the pitch as he took in the chant that he’d become so accustomed too. It had echoed throughout the Premier League for more than a decade, almost two. He was a household name, respected by footballers, pundits, coaches– you. 

Roy limped off the pitch, waving to the crowd in good nature. He would never be wheeled off, or walked off with help, you knew that. Before he fully left for the tunnel, he quickly pulled the Captain band off his arm and passed it to Isaac. The two shared a moment that had your heart bombarding into your throat–

This was it. The moment that Roy had been talking about before. His last day of playing football. With an injury that bad, that had been settling for years and damaged further by overuse of his joints, you didn’t have to be a rheumatologist to know that he was done for. That final tackle had fully fucked his knee.

As he hobbled out of view, you couldn’t bear it any longer. You abruptly stood, and left the owner’s box without a word. Keeley and Rebecca saw you go, but said nothing to stop you. Instead, they shared a look with each other that said a thousand words– you were exactly what Roy needed. 

You fast-walked along the corridors of the Dogtrack, descending to the lower levels until you hit the familiar grey concrete floors. You passed by the full size pictures of players on the walls, and ignored the uncomfortable beat of your heart, until you stumbled around the corner to the locker room. 

You lingered by the door, and swallowed painfully, before you emerged into the doorway. Roy sat by his cubby. He’d shrugged off his shirt and thrown it on the floor unceremoniously. His right knee was red and already bruising, as he attempted to make himself comfortable. It was no use, though, not alongside the tears in his eyes that were welled so full it was a miracle they hadn’t already dropped down his face. 

You stepped into the room gently, and Roy jumped when he saw you. “No one’s allowed back here during a game,” he said bluntly, but the wobble of his words was enough to make your heart subtly crack. 

“I won’t tell,” you said gently, trying to diffuse the tension as best as you could. Roy knew you weren’t going to leave, but when goosebumps hit his skin, he flinched further away from you. 

“I told you, you have to get out,” he tried again. You only kept up your slow pace towards him. You weren’t going to back away from this, not when he needed you most. 

Roy’s aversions to being social, to being emotional, to being vulnerable, scattered all over the floor before you. You ignored them, and continued placing one foot in front of the other, until his attempts to deter you heightened even further. 

“I mean it– stay the fuck away from me!” 

You stopped when he said that, but still stayed in place. Peering down at Roy softly, you flicked your gaze over his face gently. He looked wounded, in more ways than one. You knew this day would fucking suck for him, and wanted to be there for him desperately. As much as he’d yelled at you to leave, you knew that was the opposite of what he needed. 

Slowly, you closed the gap between you. Instead of sitting beside him on the bench, you knelt to the floor before him. At this level, you were practically face to face, and Roy could easily see your intentions. Gently, you reached out and placed your hand on his cheek. Your fingers skimmed his jaw on the way, and his eyes stuttered shut at your touch. He leaned into it, and brought his hand up to cover your own softly.

You shuffled closer to him, placing yourself between his legs, as you leant upon his healthy leg. He let you, and urged you to do so, as he leant further down towards you. Roy’s breaths were shaking as he inhaled and exhaled, and a few tears fell from his closed eyes and splattered upon the concrete floor. 

“I don’t know what to fucking say,” Roy croaked painfully, as he opened his eyes and landed his stare upon you. 

You peered up at him thoughtfully, and swiped your thumb across his damp cheek, mopping up a few tears unintentionally. “You don’t have to say anything.”

Roy exhaled shakily once more, before he gently dropped his forehead onto your own. They bonked together almost clumsily, but you held each other in place for dear life. “Okay,” he said, trying to calm down. For a moment, he removed his forehead from yours and replaced it with a chaste kiss, just for a second. You shut your eyes as every hair on your body stood up on end, before he replaced his forehead back onto your own. “Thank you,” he said. 

As roars sounded from outside, neither of you knew which direction the match had gone in. All you knew was that the other was breathing, and this was something new for both of you. After all this time, being close to Roy didn’t feel shocking, or abrupt, or anything of the sort– it felt normal. The two of you stayed close until his heart had calmed down, and the adrenaline in his body had disappeared enough for his knee to start fucking killing him. 

You found an ice pack from the training room, and rushed back to his aid as soon as you could. Then, you sat next to him on the bench silently. He dropped his head onto your shoulder, and you draped your arm around him to fiddle with the hair at the nape of his neck. Roy’s fingers traced your knuckles distractedly, and the two of you stayed like that until the unmistakable echoes of his teammates emerged from the corridor. You didn’t want to move away, neither did he. 

As the season and your placement drew to a close, you knew that new things were out there. For you, for Roy, for the rest. Roy knew it too, as he contemplated his options after this injury, and this loss. All he had the energy to rationalise in those moments after the result were you related– would you still be near, would you still give him your time, would you still hold him this close? 

As much as he felt your warmth, radiating from every pore and crevice and fingertip and the like, invigorating his flesh and bones and blood and everything that made him, him– he couldn’t help but wonder… would all of this fade alongside this change?

As you laughed alongside his teammates, after their relegation, and his fucked up knee, and Ted’s possible resignation, he found himself smiling about all the good you offered every single person in that room. But, it wasn’t entirely truthful. Roy was afraid. But, he put on a happy face. He held your hand when it felt right, and he let you lean into him during Ted’s post-match talk. He smelled your perfume in wafts and held himself back from looking you directly in the eye, from fear that he’d do something stupid and place his lips upon yours. 

Roy Kent had often held himself back, but he didn’t want to do it with you. Not now, not after all the shit that had happened over the past nine months, and the fact that he’d become so used to your presence. But as he sat there, laughing through the pain with his team, and his coach, and you– he knew that want and circumstance were different things. 

Sometimes you couldn’t help the way things turned out– and not even you, or Roy, or AFC Richmond, were immune to those sullen twists of fate. 

CHAPTER NINE

Tag list: @atjamesbbarnes @20th-centu-fairy-girl @royalestrellas @weakmoony-stuff@ironmanmagnetfridge @lemonpiegurll @hellomagicalsouls @her-fandom-sanctum @gothicwidowsworld @old-enough-to-know-better73 @djarindroid @afraidofshrimp @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @queen-of-dumbasses @sogoodtoheritsvicious @lznnph1l @crav1ngc4ke @onceuponaoneshot @jamieolivia27 @dadbodfanatic-x @kelp-dreaming @harrypedro465 @lonely-escape-artist @abeeabeeabee @nicklet94 @libsybum @cha0sdreaming @toomany24s @kashee-h @infinetlyforgotten @secretnook @cluelesslilsharkie @callmecasey81 @deepdarkvelvet @twiceinabluemoon @cardeegans @golden-hoax @kingleahhh @hoalkk1 @sunderland-6 @ellouisa17 @thesestrangerslikeme @elissaa @scrumptiousroadponymoney @confessionsofatotaldramaslut @ysmmsy @seacactusplant@pedritosgirl2000 

[jikookficsdiarry]

HELLO LOVES!! I'm here to express my deepest love for episode 4. Finally, it has been a long week, and the wait for episode 5 is almost over :)

OFCOURSE I'm gonna begin with

너는 나, 나는 너 🥹

Jikook in the swimming pool, enjoying their time together, getting on with their daily antics was the best thing ever!! The way they played rock, paper scissors under water🥹 CUTIES my goofballs for real!! Also, yes I have the same question as you, why did Kook have to remind minie that the glass was see through?? What kind of mischief was jiminie upto?!!!

Also, umm hello?! My 2015 baby army self would have never survived this. Please I think BT21 took hiatus too seriously. Damn, I used to lose my mind over foreheads...we have come a long way lads.

Also, the ppeuri after the whole ramyeon conversation?! Hello?! Like what was going on?! The way I screamed into my pillow. BYE.

BUBBAS🥹🤍 (the yawning in sync, they are the embodiment of you are me, i am you)...also I felt so bad for tae cause his neck hurt after head banging...I really hope his neck felt so much better when kookie gave him the message🥺

You wanna know the exact moment I said "what in the AO3?"

This right here. I combusted. I smiled, then I teared up and I replayed it 10 times to know if this wasn't a fever dream. It wasn't. It was reality and then I teared up some more. Happy tears I promise🥹🤍

When I first saw this thought the sign was edited🤭 little did I know the universe was trying to give me sign instead.

All the food moments, apart from making me extremely hungry made me realise how much attention kookie pays to minie whilst he is eating. Not only in these episodes but every time kookies ensures jiminie has eaten well🥹 like idk how to explain but it tugs at my heart strings🥹🤍

Also, idk why tae bear didn't join them for snorkelling, but his smile when he looks at kookie and jiminie has my whole heart🥹🤍

I was so happy that my baby caught to fishes!! Look at that adorable boxy smile🥹 my whole heart...oh I miss tae. Okay sorry no more tears.

I usually don't point this out, but omds I could not hold back this time, the SIZE DIFFERENCE!! I know there are so many other moments, but something about kookies hand enveloping jiminie hands and jiminie holding onto kookies thumb....yeah, my heart is doing a triple axle as we speak.

To conclude, I really from the bottom of my heart enjoyed watching this episode. I was struggling health wise last week and this epsiode gave me the energy I needed. I also feel I was more relieved by the fact that Jiminie didn't feel sick anymore and wasn't hurt in any way. I was so happy to see vminkook giggling.🤍 And jikook being so happy in each other's presence. Their moments, the little things they do for each other, I see them🤍 I know there are so many theories and asks about so many moments not only in this episode. I'll reteriate, I am not going to respond to asks that are offensive or not OT7, and I am just trying to enjoy the show, please let me kindly do that🤍

Episode 5 has me already excited. Less than 24 hours!! LESSSGOO!!

Are you sure?! You truly are my serotonin🥹🤍

Thank you.

~ Nel🤍

Please drop a good review for AYS if you can🫶🏻

[goth-pod]

Goth-Pod Ep 10: Finale

Welcome to Goth-Pod's last episode of season one! Juda Boone is joined today by a very special guest! (ITS DICK GRAYSON-WAYNE. WE GOT DICK GRAYSON)

Thank you for joining us for our first season. Until next time, stay safe, Gotham.

[goth-pod is a fictional, in-universe podcast based on the DC comics universe. Juda Boone is an original fictional character, not based on any real person or known comic book character.]

Special thanks to my friend for voicing Dick! @anythingeverythingallofthetime

Transcript under the cut

Juda: Hello everyone and welcome back! This is Goth-Pod, your Gotham based podcast. I am your favorite host, Juda Boone. And I am not alone today! Care to say hi?

Dick: Hello listeners! 

Juda: Today’s episode is the last before our hiatus. So of course, we are doing what any competent media does when they want to be successful: Completely change up the formula at the very last minute. 

Dick: And that's where I come in!

Juda: Yes, you are our very special guest star / co-host / interviewee for our finale. 

Dick: And I am happy to be here. I totally binge-listened to all your episodes after you reached out to me. It was too good to pass up! I don’t think I’ve ever been on a podcast before? I like it, I get to wear big headphones and talk. 

Juda: Why don’t you start out by just introducing yourself, for our non-local listeners. 

Dick: Sure thing! I am Dick Grayson-Wayne, I am an Aries, I think. And I am single. If you happen to know someone. 

Juda: [laughing] Okay, very helpful. And since we are an audio-based medium, it is my duty as a host to explain that Mr. Grayson just gave me a very tasteful wink. 

Dick: We’re friends here, Juda. You can call me Dick.

Juda: With all the respect in the world I will not be calling you that.  Juda: Mr. Grayson, we actually have something of an important topic to discuss today. As you are now a Bludhaven resident, you have some insight on their vigilante, Nightwing. I was hoping you could tell the Gotham listeners a bit about the up-and-coming hero.

Dick: To be fair, I don’t know any more than the next guy. I’ve seen him around town, of course, especially on patrol. But I’ve never had the chance to actually talk to him. Guess that means I’m staying on the right side of trouble. 

Juda: From what you have seen, what are some differences between Gotham's Bat and Bludhaven’s Nightwing?

Dick: The fashion sense, for sure! Dick: He actually seems like a person rather than a- what was it you called Batman? In Episode 1, I thought it was great! Like a- an Earthbound spirit, right? And from what I hear the guy has a good sense of humor, unlike Batman. Probably a winning smile to go along with it. 

Juda: hah! Mr. Grayson, we are not a gossip podcast, but to me it almost sounds like you have a crush. 

Dick: woah, woah, hey now Juda, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I mean, give me a chance to get rescued by the guy. We’ll see if sparks fly then. 

Juda: And if that happens, will you be back on the show? 

Dick: You will be the first person I call, I can promise you that.  Dick: Juda if we are to be friends, I’m going to have to come clean on something.

Juda: Oh no. 

Dick: It’s nothing bad! I just may have started us off on a lie, and I apologize for that. 

Juda: I repeat: Oh no. 

Dick: I said that I only listened to Goth-Pod after you reached out to me. In truth, I heard every episode at their release. [whispering] I’m the one who showed Bruce your Bruce Wayne episode. 

Juda: Mr. Grayson, you didn’t. 

Dick: AND your Bruceman Episode. 

Juda: Dick.

Dick: [laughing] Hey, that's my name!

Juda: To save myself from the mortification of that reality, I’m going to say that this is all the time we have today. Thank you so much for joining us, everyone. This time and everytime. A special thank you to my co-host, Dick Grayson-Wayne. I am Juda, this is Goth-Pod. Anything you’d like to say, Mr. Grayson?

Dick: Uuhh. Be gay, don’t do crime. And Stay Safe, Gotham!

[lemotmo]

Hello lovely, I am the anon blog and I am so sorry! I feel your pain because life in the trenches sucks. I don't allow my stuff to be posted to Twitter either, that place is a dumpster fire of vileness. I never know what people are sending to you but I have posted a message on my blog asking everyone to take a break for a bit. I'm not sure how this became a big deal in the first place, lol, but it can be very overwhelming and is very much why I go out of my way these days to be harder to find. My ask box is a lot. I do check in on your blog from time to time and will be happy to tell people to stop sharing with you at any time. I think we're close to the end though so hopefully peace will be restored relatively soon to both our blogs. I am so sorry for any trouble, that any of my followers might have caused. You seem so lovely and I don't want to be a party to anything that is troubling or upsetting. I hope your break is peaceful 💗

Hi dear! I'm so happy to hear from you.

I have thought so much about you today. I cannot even imagine what your inbox must look like. I so sympathise.

I very much agree on the Twitter thing. I lurk there once in a while, but never participate. It's a scary place.

As you probably already read on my blog, the lovely anons that send me your messages have reached out to me asking if I wanted them to stop sending them. I told them to keep on sending them, but that I wouldn't be posting them yet. I'm just going to be laying low for a couple of days, before I resume posting them. I refuse to back down because of some bullies. I have been in fandom for too long at this point. I'm too old to be pushed into a corner. xD

Listen, the reason why your posts have become such a big thing is because Tumblr has always been a fairly quiet and peaceful place to ship Buddie. Then episode 7x04 came along and brought utter chaos. Most of us had no idea what was going on. We were flabbergasted. I just remember thinking: 'Yes, Buck is bi now. It's obvious this Tommy guy isn't going to last, so maybe we'll finally get buddie. Everyone will be happy about that.' Anyway, you know what happened next. LOL

We were all over the place during that first hiatus and 7b, never sure what to expect from the whole BT relationship or the obvious Buddie they were still pushing on the show. We needed some stability and common sense back in this fandom and your posts have partly brought that back. I have so many people in my asks talking about your posts in a constructive, meaningful and sensible way. That is exactly what this fandom needs. It doesn't need negativity and spewing hatred and slurs, but it needs logical thinking and the deconstruction of patterns. Next to that you also give us a great insight into the inner workings of fandom. I find it all utterly fascinating.

Thank you for checking in on my blog once in a while. That's really sweet. If it ever comes to a point where I need a break from posting all together, I'll make sure to let you know. But I really don't think I'll ever get to that point, because I too have a feeling that the end of all of this is near.

And don't worry. Don't feel bad about any trouble you or your followers might have caused. I made the choice to post these asks in the first place. I could have backed down at any point, but I didn't. So, no one to blame here. Don't worry.

Have a great week! Feel free to check in once in a while. Oh, when all this is over and done with, don't hesitate to jump into my DMs. I'd love to say 'hi' to the real you one day. I have a feeling we could have some interesting conversations. ;)

❤️❤️❤️

[atsukawolfcat]

Genshin SAGAU Idea... again

HELLO HI HOLA LONG TIME NO SEE!!! I really missed posting stuff here (I don't count reblogs!), so much has been happening that I had to go into a hiatus without warning 🥲 Anyway, back (for now) with a real quick idea.

Extra note: This was made quickly during work on my phone, will edit and clean it up later

Have any of you read or heard about that story where there was a beautiful woman/person with many suitors, and she had made a challenge of "I have a cat who will have the key to my home, whoever can take it from them will be the one I vow myself to!" and shennanigans ensue where in the end someone befriended the cat, who turned out to the woman/person in question, and got the key and they married happily ever after? Yes so this is basically my idea.

Imagine a Creator!Reader or even a Isekai!Reader with their bff being the Creator, giving this same challenge to the people of Teyvat (out of boredom or another reason). I will lean into Creator!Reader here.

Tales of old told stories of the beutiful Creator and their many friends. One being, a beautiful cat with sharp gold eyes, galaxy fur and their mittens in silvery white. The cat has many times showed to be the closest friend to the Creator, but no one has seen them is recent history. Both the Creator and their beloved cat had disappeared, and the world was quiet since then. Until now, that is.

The sightings first began in Inazuma, which then continued in Mondstadt, Liyue, Sumeru and currently in Fontaine. The beautiful feline creature had been travelling from place to place, and many citizens claim that the cat has human curiousity in its eyes. So people have dubbed the cat, Creator's Eyes. The cat ran around in each nation, and after some time would disappear whilst leaving a note behind of its mission.

Oh, people of Teyvat. I see through my darling feline's eyes that there are many things amiss in the world; however, my wish is to help. If you would like to gain my guidance, my mind, or my heart, all you need to do is catch my dear friend and from their fur obtain the key of my abode. I bid you good luck, to those who wish for my presence. Signed, Creator.

P.S Please be kind and respectful, although I am sure this warning is not needed.

As soon as people read the note, a clock had appeared before them, translucent and seemingly untouchable, and it started ticking. In their minds, instructions appeared.

As so many of you wish to participate, I will give my dear companion some time to reach the other nations so all of you can participate. If you are impatient, the clock will vanish and you will be disqualified.... good luck!

The people immediately felt inclined to follow the instructions and left the cat alone and watched the time tick down to give the feline the time they needed to travel across Teyvat and get more people into the game. Finally, after all the people have been properly informed and good portion of them have been disqualified, the clock striked 0 and the game started.

The golden feline fled to all sorts of places, quickly lowering the number of people included in the game. Some people had received shocks of warning after manhandling the cat or were scratched that brought on a fever after being treated roughly. Of course, Vision bearers had an easier time and most had agreed to work as a group to catch up to the golden furred creature.

Soon, there was multitudes of people after the cat, but to their dismay none could catch up to it. It would weave and dodge expertly from their grasp and since they didn't dare harm the divine familiar, their Vision powers were useless. There was one person however, who was watching... waiting while observing the patterns. They shrugged and had gotten some food and sat down near the cat after the rest had gone back to their homes.

They didn't make a single move towards the cat, and just ate away while keeping an eye out. The cat peeked at them, and meowed at the smell of food. The individual heard the meow, and gently moved some food towards the cat and kept a respectful distance. The cat casted a suspicious look at them before revealing itself and went towards the food, giving it a sniff before taking a bite.

So now, this individual felt a bit bad for the feline and shoved a water bowl towards it. The cat came closer and drank from the bowl before looking up at staring at the individual. The allogene just shrugged, and went back to eating their portion. Suddenly, they felt the soft fur of the feline rub against them and they carefully pat the cat. As soon as they gave a few scratches and the cat was satisfied, a window appeared.

Congratulations! You are the winner to the Creator's Abode. Use now?

Their shaking hand touched the key that suddenly appeared around the affectionate cat, which seemed to be enough of an answer as bright light covered their vision. For a moment, nothing could be seen from the light but it soon dimmed to nothing and they found themselves in front of a humble living quarters in what seemed to be a log cabin. The cat ran from the individual and leaped up to the seat that was in front of them. They blinked and suddenly saw a beautiful person sitting elegantly, and giving them a soft smile. Soon, they waved the person over and spoke.

"Why, hello there. Of course it was my favorite Vision bearer to be the first to visit me successfully. You were the first to show me kindness, hence I deemed you the perfect first candidate. What is your wish?"

[chuwuyas]

about c&r

Hello my dear saioumers, it is I, jul chuwuyas. I wanted to stop by to talk a little bit about c&r since people ask me about it a lot

Unfortunately, to talk about it, I will have to dive into some personal stuff and share some things with you all that I've been keeping to myself for quite some time now and didn't really want to share, but felt like I needed to. So, since some stuff will be kinda, uh... serious? I will put everything under the cut

(TL;DR for those who don't wanna read about my personal life tho: c&r is NOT abandoned, but writer's block is not the only reason why I haven't updated the fic yet (tho it is one of them). I don't know when the hiatus will end. I'm sorry)

(CW for the things under the cut: mental illness, pet death, suicide ideation)

So, to start: yes, writer's block is one of the reasons why c&r is on hiatus. No, I have not been lying about it. I burned out so badly in 2021 that it's Still hard for me to write things that satisfy me because I reached my peak back then and was popping out 5, 6 fics in a month for 7/8 whole months when my usual is/was about 2 or 3 a year (if you check my ao3 page and the dates in which my fics were posted, you'll see that aside from the danganronpa fics, that usually was the case. I'm a slow writer). I'm still recovering. And the universe seems to not want me to.

Last year, around January, I felt like I was finally setting myself free from writer's block. I started writing something for my oc ship (yes, yes, I know. Not c&r. But what can I say? They bring me comfort) and I was so happy with what I got, so inspired to write, I was actually seeing the words on the doc again.

Then, one of my three cats got sick. Then, he died.

It completely broke me in a way I don't think I will ever recover. I was extremely attached to him and I drained all the money I had saved for therapy to try to save him, but it didn't work and I lost my cat, the money, and consequently my mental health. We spent almost an entire month taking him to the vet and bringing him back home because the vet kept telling us he was okay and then he'd get even worse and need hospitalization again, so that was more money spent on him. I had my friends help me with that, and I am immensely grateful even though it didn't work out in the end. Thank you for helping me bring him some comfort on his last days @ friendos.

After he died, a couple of months later, I tried writing again and managed to write a few thousand words, but my mental health still wasn't the best. Then, I started getting some personal problems that I will not talk about here but took a toll on me and shoved me back into the writer's block box, but now with the addition of increasingly growing self-doubt and depressive thoughts that soon turned suicidal.

Then, around September, another cat of mine got sick. And, this time, we didn't have money to help him.

He was my best friend. We basically grew up together (he was 13 and was born when I was 11, so I had him longer than I didn't have him) and I was also extremely attached to him. When he got sick, I would sit down on the floor and talk to him in tears asking him to hold on just until I got a job so I could pay for his bills. I didn't get a job fast enough to help him. It was me who found him, too.

From August to November, things were so bad in my life (between my personal life, my pets' deaths, and family members getting sick) I genuinely caught myself considering ending my suffering. Planning it. Thinking about it every day. Not wanting to wake up. It was a rough period of my life that I made it through alone because I didn't really tell anyone what was going on with me. I wished I could go back to the past. I wished I could change things to make the future not so bad. I'm still caught up in the past and nostalgic for a time that will not come back no matter how much I wish it would. But I pushed it through.

And one of the things that kept me from ending it all was the fact I haven't finished c&r yet.

I didn't wanna go without concluding the story. I didn't wanna go without showing you all what I have planned for the last chapter and how this story will end. So, I started using c&r as some sort of anchor — something to keep me going because I still have something to do on this earth before leaving. I love this story and I don't wanna leave it unfinished. I wanna see your reactions reading the last chapter, the freaking out, the key smashes, the DMs I'll receive, the theories, the fanarts. I love how big this story got and the little fandom it got for itself. People love something that I wrote so much they make art of it! They cosplay the characters, they write things based on it! It's so mindblowing that something like this would ever happen to me, I started telling myself: I can't die until I finish catch & release.

My mental health is way better now and I'm no longer considering suicide (though, ough, it sucks not having a lot of money). I have a job now and can pay for the vet in case my last cat gets sick. My personal life is good now, too, and my relative who's sick is doing a lot better. I have things to look forward to. Things are good now. I'm happy, though I still miss my cats every day.

I am, however, still using c&r as one of my anchors, and I don't know when I will stop doing so. So, for now, the fic is still on hiatus. But it isn't abandoned, and it will never be. I will finish it one day. So, until then, keep bearing with me.

Thank you for reading, and most of all thank you for understanding. I love you all.

[secretcheesecakecowboy]

“ In those two events, did one of them appear to be shy? Did either of them walk behind like JK walked behind, Tae? "

I’m sorry but are you trying to say that Jk being shy was one of the reasons why that felt different? You cannot compare Jk attending calvin kleins event with him walking on a red carpet with thousands of fans attention on him with cameras. Those are two very different scenarios. When he attended the calvin klein event, it definitely wasn’t the same vibe. the was put on the spot plus it is possible that he also felt self concious because of his hair because we did see him touch his hair a few times like he was fixing his bangs.

I am not saying that this invalidates what you feel about taekook and whatever relationship you think they have but i feel like y’all are making the dream premier into something that it isn’t. To so many taekookers, the dream premiere was a statement of sorts because of how shy Jk was and because taekook wore queer friendly clothing but those are not things that are exclusive to taekook. Pay attention to all the bts members and you notice that literally all of them constantly wear queer friendly clothing. Plus so many times i see taekookers invalidating other ship outings because of the presence of company or staff so what is the difference with this one? Yes it wasn’t a company event but the company cars and company staff were still present true or false? Same as when they went to Harry styles concert in seoul. Tkkrs called that a taekook date but Jk was literally seated there with Nicole a bighit staff and after the concert, tae went back home in a company car and we saw Jk hopping behind with a few staff and nicole. Wasn’t this still chapter two? Their free time? Yet the same company that many taekookers claim usually keeps taekook apart were the ones driving them to and from their “dates”? Even during yoongi’s concert, taekook literally came together in a company car and left together in a company car. (You know the same company that has apparently been separating taekook for years and who taekook were finally free from in chapter two.)

My point is that, i think taekookers are being hypocritical because you dismiss everything that your rival ship does in the name of “the company was involved” but when the company is involved in things that your ship does, you don’t use the same logic. If the company being involved invalidates one pair, it should invalidate all. And you are saying that it doesn’t matter that taekook came in company cars and went back to their respective homes after but it does matter because that is what we do know. Everything else is pure speculation. You saying that Jk was probably shy because he was there was his boyfriend is pure speculation. In this case you are ignoring what we do know and are focusing on what you suspect or how you interpreted their actions.

Hello 👋

Didn't see this ask until recently. You said he was "self-conscious" about his hair when JK mentioned that he likes long hair. If he didn't like his hair long, then why did he grow it during their hiatus? Both events had thousands of people and cameras on them. You even said those two events are different. The CK event was JK doing business and promotion. The Dream event was them attending the event as guests of PJS, not an official schedule. Yes, BTS members have worn queer clothing in the past, but again, some of those were during photo shoots or during a schedule. The clothing by Taekook was during personal time, none schedule time.

Company cars, sometimes it's easier for them to get driven by company cars than them driving their own cars. For The Dream Premier, they were driven there. No, I didn't see staff from the company accompany them. The bodyguards were IUs bodyguards. Can someone correct me if I'm wrong? The same goes for Yoongi's concerts. All the members got driven there, but again, no staff or cameras followed them to and from the venue. They came together and left together. Company staff was present at the concert because the company and staff had to be there. Yoongi, not Taekook. The Harry Styles concert, yes, staff and bodyguards were there to protect them.

You say I'm hypocritical, and I'm speculating and invalidating other ships, but you're doing th exact thing. If you can't see the difference between company content vs. personal time while using a company car, then nothing I say will change your mind about my ship. You can see all these Taekook outings as nothing special than that's valid. But myself and other Taekookers we see the validation in their outings and their relationship.

I might miss some things in this ask, but I'm replying at the moment in a moving car, and the ask is long.

[hydn-jpg]

HELLO!!!

i am back!! sorry for dropping off the face of the earth again :'0 i was dealing with mental health stuff but i am okay now. the horrors persist but so do i and all that haha

anyway! i spent the past few months focusing (as much as my adhd allowed me to ,, ) on school and writing my thesis, and also spent some time in canada for my research project!! it was a really nice experience and i met some rly cool people too :D

as of writing this it's been a week since my exams finished and almost a month since i submitted my final thesis so that's great! i really feel like i can finally breathe again haha. i poured my blood, sweat, tears and probably other bodily fluids into it too so i hope everything goes well! (emphasis on blood bc my nose literally started bleeding while i was doing my exam ;; lmao)

it's good to be back! does this mean i will be back to posting art? YES absolutely!!! (will be posting one in a few hours :^) ) i'll need to read the new books and recent chapters to get material to draw more relevant stuff but i do have a few pieces that i drew before/during my hiatus that i'll post in the meantime! i have a lot to catch up on but i'll get there haha (especially id2!! idec if it's bad i just wanna see cas and gabe my beloveds :'0 i couldn't stop thinking abt them lately and i've only been doodling them,, ahhh)

i will be more active from now! i really miss posting and interacting with y'all :'D i have reserve forces training to attend next week but other than that i shouldn't have any other pressing matters so i'll be able to spend more time on tumblr!

to everyone i owe something to, i will send a message soon!! and by soon i mean literally after i post this lol. thank you for all your patience!!

[bewareofthenewphannie]

Now that you’ve had some more time to become a phannie I’m curious about how your journey is going and I have some questions I’d love for you to answer if you have the time.

What is it about dnp that has made you love them so quickly?

Do you have a favorite video? Or videos?

Have you been able to catch up on some of their older content? What’s your favorite older video?

And do you enjoy their solo content? Do you have favorite solo videos for each of them?

And, finally, what has been your favorite moment as a phannie so far?

Hello there, thank you so much for the ask! But be warned, this is going to be a long one (I fully blame it on you because you asked some great questions).

What is it about dnp that has made you love them so quickly?

If we're talking about what made me love them so quickly it honestly boils down to one very simple thing: their chemistry. Because Dan is right, it is fucking unmatched.

One thing you need to know about me is that I've always been very drawn to duos with dynamics adjacent to DnP's.

(One could argue I always wanted those previous duos to have the kind of chemistry DnP have but they never were quite there. I think that's a conversation for another time though.)

Okay, but what is it about their chemistry that's so captivating?

For me it's the familiarity between them. The teasing, the fondness, them bringing out the best and worst in each other (let's be honest, it's mostly the worst), their stupid jokes and humor. The way they know and trust each other. Human connection is always something beautiful to witness and to see two people who have so clearly found each other just makes my heart sing (out pure but loving jealousy) (yes, they're making my aroace ass crave having a connection like theirs with someone).

Some other factors that made me fall so quickly were that I had been missing the excitement of being in an active fandom with new content and also, I just really needed a distraction from life (don't worry, I'm fine, just regular first semester uni things (first exam in a week, pray for me)).

So when they came waltzing along with their stupid hijinks and their pure, infectious queer joy they quite simply made me happy. And so I stayed.

Do you have a favorite video? Or videos?

I wouldn't say I have one favourite but there are some videos I keep coming back to again and again for the vibes.

In this line up we have this year's halloween baking, the mukbang, giving the people what they want...

Actually, pretty much all of their "collabs" (this word doesn't seem right for them but you know what I mean) during the hiatus are very dear to me. There's something so special about them, probably because they were setteling into their new uncensored dynamic? Or because these videos mostly felt so chill and domestic, like they were just kind of hanging out? (parasocialness warning activated!) (Is this the right place to mention how much I love the stereo shows?)

The gamingmas videos are still too fresh and too much for me to pass judgement, but I think my current favourites are the pinof reaction vid (purely for the chaos) and it takes two (because it was so damn good).

Oh, and then there's big. But we'll get to that later.

Have you been able to catch up on some of their older content? What’s your favorite older video?

I have been watching their older content quite regularly but it still feels like I've barely scratched the surface honestly.

Sure, I've covered a good chunk of the most iconic and important ones but I'm nowhere near a point where I would say I am genuinely caught up. Which definitely has its upsides because I can allow myself to be picky about what to watch.

Generally speaking I do feel myself gravitating much more towards the "newer" old content, starting in like 2017-ish. There are obviously some very good videos before that as well but so often it just feels something is off...or missing.

Some of my favourites I can think of right now are keep talking, dream daddy, honestly all of the baking vids and the impossible quiz. And the pinofs, obviously.

And do you enjoy their solo content? Do you have favorite solo videos for each of them?

Yes, i do! However I do have a very different relationship to each of their solo contents.

Phil's (newer) videos just feels like a nice warm hug. I really enjoy watching it more casually. They're so very Phil every single time and I love this man, so it's a perfect deal honestly. I'm almost guaranteed to leave them with a smile on my face.

My favourite kind of his videos are probably the ones where he tells stories because he is amazingly (badum tss) good at it. Whether it's draw my life or some random anecdotes of whatever Weird Thing happened to him this time, Phil will find a way to make it interesting and entertaining.

Also, probably a quite random and niche video I really liked was the stereo one with Seth (whom I've known for quite a while). Phil brought out such a cool side of Seth, it was so nice to watch??

Okay, now on to Dan. I fear I'm about to out myself as a dannie because Jesus fucking Christ, he made this personal.

He makes me cry. No, literally, i have cried (ugly) on multiple occasions when watching his videos.

He makes me care. Yes, about him and his happiness, whatever.

He makes me relate a bit too much. You know, something about being queer and existential fear.

He also makes me feel like maybe, maybe it will be okay.

Look, I like his less serious content that he still puts so much thought into. I thoroughly enjoyed what he did with dystopia daily because apparently I am susceptible to whatever this kind of humor he has going on is. But none of that compares to big. And I think at some point that warrants a whole sappy post on its own because I really need to slow myself down here and it's almost 2 am.

And, finally, what has been your favorite moment as a phannie so far?

For some reason the first thing that comes to mind is the goddamn catboy thing. Starting with nora predicting the merch, the merch itself, the email, and finally the pictures...it's hysterical and surreal and I hate that I can't think of anything better right now. It's probably the pure shock and disbelief of opening the notif and seeing those pictures that has overwritten everything else. Also, the discourse here on that day was amazingly unhinged (let's just forget about the Twitter aftermath).

Catboy incident aside, gamingmas as a whole has been intense but also genuinely so much fun. I just love being able to come here every single day and scream with everyone about the most pointless little things that mean the world (to us). We really do have a nice thing going on here, in our little, not-so-obscure corner of tumblr.

And gods, we're not even halfway through. I am soso excited for what they have planned because it sure as fuck won't be any more tame than what they had going on so far.

THE END

(finally. if you came this far, have a cookie 🍪)

[crispycreambacon]

I'm so sorry I keep on going out of hiatus, but this has been eating at me for a while so uHM-

Lowkey debating on what to do with my Ryan/Professor fanfic that isn't actually Ryan/Professor, but more of "Man... Imagine if the Professor got a crush on Ryan... That would be really bad for him... ohOHOHO–"

The context below isn't exactly required to read, but I'd appreciate it if you did. Moreover, if you have any input/takes on it, I'd like to hear in the comments :>

— Now, some context —

The reason why I hadn't released the fanfic sooner was because I actually got my English teacher to edit part of it. Yes you heard me right, he beta-read Ryan/Professor fanfiction-

He hadn't been able to edit much aside from the beginning since, well, he's a busy man! Then, the Watcher controversy occured, and I wanted next-to-nothing to do with the fandom, so I laid off the teacher for redundancy (a silly business-kid way of saying "You don't need to edit the fic anymore, sir, I'm. So sorry you had to in the first place" "Chrispy it's fine")

However, he did say he was more than willing to go back to it if I ever asked him again, and I will be honest: I still have some amount of affection for the fic.

Again, it's not exactly a shipfic. It's me asking, "What would happen if the Professor did actually have feelings for Ryan? What if he was aromantic on top of that? What if those feelings are causing an immense amount of distress for him?"

And I will admit: I am proud of what I wrote. I'll definitely need to edit it before I actually release it, and I may get my teacher on board again, but I think I cooked.

Now the biggest question is whether y'all want it or not 'cause I absolutely do not mind keeping this to myself (and perhaps sharing the document to mutuals who wanna read it). Additionally, I'm still wary of the fandom, but I'll be optimistic and assumed it has gotten better.

But I think this would be a nice send-off to Puppet History (and by extension, Watcher). I still love the show, and despite everything that happened, I still wish nothing but the best for the Watcher trio and their team. This isn't goodbye forever. This is just "I'll see you when I see you."

Also it'd be really really funny if my final PH creation (for now) is Ryan/Professor like y'all imagine–

[wentzsmatchacup]

Honestly my favorite era of the sound of Patrick’s voice was after the hiatus where he finally found his actual voice and stopped being scared of it. I love hearing this especially in SRAR, PAX AM Days, and AB/AP. Some of my favorite instances, especially of the soulful, gritty, low notes, are in Death Valley, The Mighty Fall, Jet Pack Blues, American Beauty/ American psycho (the title track), Novocaine, Twin Skeletons, We Were Doomed From the Start, Love, Sex, Death, and American Made. Yes, I love the old sound too, and I LOVE Soul Punk, and I love MANIA and SMFS, but there was this era where, after his journey in his solo career, he implemented that power and confidence and HEAVENLY voice and experience into FOB’s more pop punk sound. SO GOOD. AB/AP is climbing the charts for one of my favorites- I’ll always be a Folie number one stan (I am listening to West Coast Smoker as we speak), but MAN the GRIT?? THE HINTS OF PRIMAL RAGE AND JUST SHEER CONFIDENCE??? HELLO???? Anyways live laugh love SRAR-AB/AP was the best era (I am biased lol) also, I need Patrick screaming back. All I’ve got is Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying and Jock Powerviolence by Weekend Nachos. …and kind of Death Valley- it has those raw qualities.

[voidchillz]

Hello Tumblr!

I’m back and I’m writing again :>

Apologies for the mini-hiatus, some shit’s been going on and I’m dealing with it.

But! I have a one shot fic in the works and I’m excited to say it’s gonna be a long one for you Underfell Sans lovers~

YES! THE ONE! THE ONLY! SO PAY ATTENTION!

Finally! A dedicated and in depth smut/fluff/soft angst from yours truly!

Now the reason I’m posting (✨🔑 jingle jingle🔑✨) is because I wanted to announce I am writing this as a self insert (✨🔑 jingle jingle🔑✨)

While I was wanting to write a Y/N fic so you guys may enjoy it more, I realised I’ve barely gotten into my sona stuff despite me wanting to write more self-indulgent fics (✨🔑JINGLE JINGLE LOOK AT THE SHINY KEYS JINGLE JINGLE🔑✨) that and I can write in a lot more detail when it’s a sona rather than a reader perspective (✨🔑J I N G L E J I N G L E🔑✨)

Now do understand that I’m writing it like this because this short fic has a specific direction I want it to go in that I thought you all would like (✨🔑 jingle jingle🔑✨) so while I will still write SansXReader stuff, this one is very specifically for me as well as you guys :) (✨🔑 jingle jingle🔑✨)