#hello i am literally going insane how is everyone else doing?

[trashy-greyjoy]

do you think when she offered max the bike and supplies to cross the salt with them, she was thinking about asking jack to leave with her? when max caught up with them and suggested they retake the citadel (together), do you think she was remembering jack walking back over that hill towards her and offering to help her prepare to leave the citadel and actually make it home? as she trusted this man, this strange man that doesn't really speak it but already understands her, to get them all home do you think she was imagining the moment she decided to trust jack to do the same?

as she watched max walk away, do you think she saw jack's ghost smiling back at her in approval?

the idea that furiosa sees jack in max truly makes me want to chew through my own femur. george miller, why would you do this?

[emometalhead]

It's time for my annual New Year's post!! I hope everyone finds peace and fun as we enter 2025. Sending good vibes all around 🩷✨️.

As per tradition, I want to express my gratitude for my lovely friends here. (In alphabetical order by url.)

@awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands - Alessia!! You are such a sweetheart. You are such a caring, kind person, and you're so beautiful inside and out. I am extremely lucky to have you in my life. You are a wonderful cheerleader for my successes, and I can only hope I provide the same enthusiasm for your life. I'm so proud of you for completing your schooling earlier this year, and I'm even prouder that you were able to dedicate your time to subjects that interest you so greatly. Your talent, creativity, and determination are inspiring. You are going to do amazing things, and I hope this coming year brings lots of joy and success. Love you 🩷🩷

@born-to-lose - Hiiii Mel 😘. Here's to many more concerts, musical discoveries, and fun flirtatious moments in 2025. You deserve all of the best and most enjoyable experiences in life. You're so smart, so talented, and so dedicated to your passions. I am in awe of you, always. It's actually so rude that you're so lovely and incredible. Also you're hot. Like girl, what can't you do? Love you forever 💍. I'm excited to see what this year will bring for you. I hope it's lots of joy and success in your endeavors. You're creative, talented, have great taste, and you're such a likeable person. I know you'll amount to great things, and it is so cool to have a glimpse into your life.

@day-trippin-dreamer - Tina!!!!!! I tell you all the time how much I love you and how amazing I think you are. It still bears repeating. You are one of my favorite people, and your friendship means more to me than you'll ever know. I am giving you the biggest virtual hug. Thank you for being there for me for so many years now. I know I can always count on you when I'm down, and I can always count on you to be just as excited as me when good things happen. Also you have such good taste, and it will always be an honor to be your friend and mutual. Here's to another great year of friendship, and hopefully lots of lovely lovely things in your future. ILY ✨️🩷

@doctorqueensanatomy - Hello my dearest, Sheamus! We've been friends for a few years now, but the way in which our friendship has blossomed this year has been so beautiful to me. I live for our life updates and spirited conversations about media, the effects of Capitalism, our regional quirks, and literally anything and everything else. I'm eternally grateful for you. I so badly wish I could snap my fingers and transport across the world to hang out with you. I'm always impressed by your thoughtfulness and ability to talk through situations. You are so smart, brilliant, and fun. I hope you know how much I love you. May this coming year bring us even closer. 🥰🥰

@duffmckagans - Hi Kelsey!! 😁 I'm so glad you're back on here!! Your presence brings a calm and bright energy into my life. We have had such a good few years of friendship despite the chaos surrounding both of our lives. After a bit of separation this year due to the aforementioned chaos, I hope 2025 will bring us closer than ever. I love how easily you understand my insane ramblings and the one million connections I make between media I love. You are so incredibly smart, insightful, and creative. I'll never stop being in awe of you. I also appreciate your willingness to be petty and dramatic with me. Multifaceted queen lol. Seriously though, I love you a ton, and I'm so happy you're in my life. I hope 2025 brings you stability and success. I'm always rooting for you.

@idontwanttospoiltheparty - Hi Fiona! I know we don't talk a ton, but your presence on my dash is always greatly appreciated. I love your takes, informed nuance, and analysis. It is clear how much thought you put into everything you care about, and that is admirable. I hope you know I genuinely take time to read and process everything you post, because it is always interesting. I hope this coming year is a positive one for you. I can't wait to see what you do or create next, and I'm sending good vibes your way. 🥰

@inquisitiveheretic - Hi Lee!! You've been around less this year, so I have really had to pay attention and appreciate when you're on my dash. Idk if you'll even see this, but I hope you do. I am wishing the best for you! I hope you're thriving irl. You will always be a person I hold a lot of respect for. It's been a long while, and I miss our chats. Just know even if we don't speak at all, I am always rooting for you. I hope lots of great media and interesting analysis comes your way in 2025. ♡♡♡

@losers-yurio - RYLIE!! I have no clue if you'll see this lol. I'm including you anyway. I will always always always be so grateful that we met. You will always be my first true Internet friend, and I'll never be able to explain the impact you've had on my life. I'm so grateful for you. It seems like you're absolutely killing it in college, and I'm so proud of you. You're such a kind, funny, and beautiful person. What an honor it is to even peripherally be in your life. I'm sending hugs and good vibes forever and ever. Here's to a wonderful new year ✨️✨️✨️

@nocturnal-light - Lynne, you impress me every single day. You're a great artist. Your drawings and crafts are always so cool, and it is an awesome thing to see. Your skating is so gorgeous. I'm so proud of you for everything you have accomplished with your skating career, and I'm so happy for you to have opportunities to do what you love. You are a ray a light, and I hope you know how much I adore you even though we don't talk too often. I hope you have a great 2025 full of music and fun. 🩷🩷

@no-fxn-club - Frankie!! Frankie!! Frankie!! You have no clue how often I think of you. Everytime I see cows, I think "Frankie would love them". Everytime I see a post where someone refers to a soda as a coke, I think of you. Everytime I listen to The Used or Set It Off or hear a southern twang, I think of you. You mean so much to me, and it is such an honor to know you. You have the best sense of humor, great taste in music, such a streak of creativeness, and it all cumulates in you being one of the best people I know. I am wishing you (and all your pets!!) a lovely, lovely 2025. 🖤🖤🖤

@only-a-heartbeat-away Hi Harlow! I think a lot of our interests have diverged, but I still have so much joy about us being mutuals. You're a really great person, and I love that we can still connect despite being in so many different fandoms. I love your passion about the bands you love, and I hope you discover even more cool music in the new year. I'm sending good vibes your way!! 🩷

@rebelrollerqueen - Hey Ren!! You haven't been around as much lately, so I hope you see this. I'm so proud of you. You are so intelligent, determined, and expressive. Your hair, makeup, and fashion are always above and beyond. Your taste in music is so good. Plus, you're a genuine, kind, and loving person. I don't care how old you become. I'll always be happy to be your Internet Mom. Seeing you grow over the last few years has been a beautiful thing, and I can't wait to continue seeing you move forward and succeed in life. Love you so much!! ♥️

@sohardlovingyou Hi Jori!!! You're my pop girlie icon forever. I love how tuned in you are to all the celebrity gossip and internet drama, and I love how happily you cheer on the people you're a fan of. Your blog is always a source of joy for me. It is so fun seeing your takes, and it's even more fun with how often our opinions overlap. You're such a fun person, and you're also gorgeous!! The whole package!! I hope you're winning in life, and I'm sending all the best vibes. May 2025 help us live out our poppiest fantasies. 💅🩷

@therockywhorerpictureshow - Hey Ella! 🥰 You're such a lovely presence on my dash!! I love getting little glimpses into your life. You have such adorable dogs. You are a baking icon. Seriously I want to eat everything you post 😭. If I ever find myself out East, I will seek you out for hugs and baked goods lol. You're so damn pretty it's actually crazy, and you're so sweet too. Just a lovely person overall. I'm so glad we're friends, and I hope 2025 brings you lots of good things. I'm so proud of you for going to school this year. It is an impressive and scary thing. You're pushing through and doing great. I hope you know I'm rooting for your success in all avenues. Love you!!

@xx-key-xx - Key, you're such a legend. You are the 2000s it girl of my dreams. You're so damn cool, and I love how much you're absolutely killing it. Your fashion, hair, and makeup are inspiring. I'm always happy to hype you up, and I can't wait to see what 2025 brings you for. I'm sending all the good vibes and energy your way. Let's party like it's 2005. 😎 Love you, icon!!

[krisnixprisonwedding]

Saw ur tags abt endgame krisnix and I'm 👀 curious. Cuz personally I'm a huge fan of their divorced vibes n the way they Cant work out, so I'm So curious as to what endgame krisnix would look like to you

hello and thanks for your ask! before i answer it, i am going to lay down three (3) disclaimers that might end up being longer than my answer itself.

1. i exist in the shipping multiverse, where any number of ships could work out or not work out in my mind depending on the conditions. i have very few "endgame" ships (fradrian and gumworth pan out in most of my universes), and the rest of the ships i like live in some schrödinger's state of existence for me.

2. i love to play with possibilities. exploring possibilities is the real fun of fandom for me - that's what makes fandoms transformative! the ace attorney canon is also so goofy and impossible that i love to think of what conditions could make a ship happen while still technically not contradicting canon.

3. i am, above all else, a playful contrarian. i started this blog because i'd have several people tell me that only one ship, a certain very popular one, had any chance of being "endgame." to which my lightly salty response was to make a blog called "krisnix prison wedding."

now that we've got those out of the way, here are my thoughts on endgame krisnix:

how it happens

- all of my long game kristoph ships take advantage of the fact that kristoph is never mentioned again after aa4. they threw him in the basement so i'm dragging him right back out again while capcom doesn't even notice 😂

- all of my long game kristoph ships take advantage of the fact that miles edgeworth has canonically pulled the strings of the justice system before in the service of people he knows and cares about. i'd argue that if klavier went to his boss and begged him not to have the state execute his only apparent living relative, edgey would find a way to commute his sentence. (bonus points if phoenix and edgey are in a relationship, and phoenix also begs edgeworth for clemency despite what kristoph has done)

why it happens

- you bring up a good point about kristoph and phoenix having divorced energy. think how much more potential for married-divorced energy there is if after all the insanity of the 7YG and aa4, kristoph and phoenix are still addicted to each other and, more importantly, still attracted to each other.

- midnightbrightside once tweeted something to the effect that kristoph and phoenix knew each other on both an intimate and mundane level over 7 years, and so they actually probably know more about each other than phoenix and edgeworth do bc of the amount of time they spent together. there is a force of habit but also a comfort and familiarity of having someone be present and stable in your life for that long. phoenix is a chronic attachment issues girlie and while i know he wanted to see kristoph punished for his actions, i'd be surprised if he wanted him out of his life permanently. kristoph would DEFINITELY take much longer to come around after his pride was shattered, but phoenix is patient and kristoph can't fully resist someone who gives him attention

what it looks like (partially a joke, but i'm not saying which parts)

- prison date visits with phoenix's sweetheart, much to the chagrin of literally every other AA character. apollo punches phoenix's lights out when he finds out that phoenix is back together with the guy who phoenix manipulated him into imprisoning

- kristoph showing progress in court-ordered therapy by gritting his teeth and saying to phoenix, "it is hard for me to admit when i feel vulnerable." he looks furious, but one of the black psyche locks breaks and that's good enough for phoenix

- house arrest anklet is the perfect accessory for date night!

- later, when the wounds have healed, they can laugh and banter about it! it makes everyone uncomfortable at parties when they tease each other about all the heinous and unethical shit they pulled to take each other down!

a final, more heartfelt note

idk, i like to think of how characters can grow and transform! kristoph is so interesting and tragic to me because he doesn't seem to know how to experience intimacy outside of his weird games. he wants to be close to people, but he doesn't know how and his paranoia won't allow him to. phoenix seems to struggle with the same thing minus the control and manipulation issues. i like to think about what post aa4 growth and closure would look like for them in a series that refuses to give it to us.

thanks again for the ask!

[itsrlymine]

Hi bb,

Presently and for the time being, this blog really is THAT BITCH lmao and you know how I know it’s legit? That ur legit?

Because I NEVER interact beyond a “like”, and if I do it’s only ever been one quick message of kudos. And look at me here now! Lmfao got me over typing out a whole ass paragraph😂 Love love love the me that is you and the aura you’re radiating! And the mirroring has been too hilarious💀 from you and all the success stories from miss girl deciding that her man isn’t some one else’s child’s father, to miss mister nonbinary feeling like they would enjoy having their friend group again, and so many more… but those two specifically had me gagged laughing my ass off when I saw them cus they were such unique reflections the way they were reflected to me that I’m not the only one “manifesting” these things and that I’m not a bad person for wanting this😌

Guys, hear me clearly on this: when it comes to intentionally aligning with that which you want to be, we gotta be honest with ourselves about where we’re actually at if we’re ever gonna get more powerful. I had to face the truth that I didn’t have enough “knowing”/“trust” to do a lot of the things I wanted to when I first “remembered” (aka learned about) the “Law”. So I decided to work smarter and just work the damn “process” (of building up “knowing”) until I got the hang of it.

And I’m soooo excited to share that recently I was just chillin casually enjoying this blogs success stories when it started to hit me like wow look at all these birds before land lol I finally made it! From starting at damn near below zero in terms of skill in execution (back in spring of 2021), all the way to now (almost winter of 2024), it took me about 3 years give or take but babyyyyyy I made it🙌

And the craziest part is it’s only just the beginning🤯 don’t get it twisted, over these past 3 years theres actually been a lot of manifestations that have unfolded through me, but any moment now I can feel it that some of the much more “significant” experiences I would enjoy are going to materialize in the physical and I’m honestly over here like 👁️👄👁️ like fuckkkkkkkk it’s hereeeeee? after all this time am I readyyyyyyyy????????? Lmao I’m tryna act cool and keep it chill but everybody on this blog just keeps getting me so hype it actually inspired me to participate and share a little bit for once

Which is all apart of the unfolding going on over here cus I knew personally I wasn’t gonna start participating period point blank anywhere or with anyone until I really started getting somewhere with this whole “manifesting” thing

So yeah just a little contribution to add to the mix of all the happiness and celebrations that everyone is enjoying here together on this blog

See you all again soon, probably with some success stories or pointers that might ✨inspire✨ someone

-🪽🤍🪽-

Hello 🪽🤍🪽!!!!

I feel like I deffo "started" journey around that time as well. Thank you so much for your wonderful message my love! Thank you for proving how legit my page is. I'm honored to have your stamp of approval!! Miss mister nonbinary is f*cking insane babe. Ummm💀

We are deffo not the only ones looking to experience something new and is is great being able to see the reflections in others. Once you know you are that which you want to experience, literally everything falls in line and there is no work to no done.

Don't try to keep it chill. Be hype asf! That's why we are all here!!!

[doverstar]

abed/annie is my community otp, so I would love to hear your essay if you’re willing to share ♥️

girl it would be my pleasure

this is going to be an absolutely enormous word-vomit, please prepare-

I want to start off by saying I actually think Abed is genuinely a little bit crazy. Yes, he might be on the spectrum or have some disorder but the show is so loose with that it never really confirms it, so I’m not going to confirm it either, I just think there’s something-something-spectrum there but I’m not educated enough to understand exactly what they’re communicating he has or is dealing with. I think the safest thing to assume is indeed that he’s insane (he said it himself; he saw literal lava when Troy was leaving) but in a small, functional, unique way that doesn’t make him dangerous except when he wants to cut people’s arms off because “Evil Abed has taken over” hello someone do something about that –

Anyway. It’s super difficult for me to understand what goes on in his head episode-to-episode, but with Annie it’s actually easier? Abed has such a specific set of needs when it comes to relationships that it’s a miracle he found the study group at all. He’s so smart and creative and he’s actually very empathetic and sweet but he doesn’t always seem to know how to express things.

Annie is clearly Abed’s second-best friend in the show (it helps that the actor/actress are best friends too). When he can’t turn to Troy, he can always turn to Annie. She understands him and there’s never been a point where we see that start or end—it just naturally happened and they’re both used to it. Abed is always touching her, always sitting by her, always making eye contact with her, and if you pay close attention to even background scenes, he’s measuring her reactions to things more often than anyone else’s. If I had to guess, I think she’s the group member he understood faster than any of the others. Abed (this is, from what I’m told, part of being on the spectrum? but like I said I am uneducated and don’t want to definitively say something the show decided not to be clear about) needs certain things to be a certain way, or he can’t operate normally. He panics, or gets angry, or tries to mutilate Jeff Wingers. He genuinely thinks he is crazy, and he genuinely thinks no one he meets will be able to deal with him for an extended amount of time. (Let’s begin at the beginning from his POV.) Abed meets Annie (and the group), and she seems like the typical Molly Ringwald girl-next-door; pretty, smart, wants popularity, ambitious. That’s why he chose her when he created the study group. Annie is all of these cliched things, but hey, quickly it’s pretty clear Annie needs things to be a certain way. Annie needs structure and lists and good grades. So she gets it when Abed needs that, what a pleasant surprise! And part of that is that Annie empathizes with everyone around her, without even trying, so much so that she’s depicted often as the heart of the whole study group. She gets Abed, both because they’re the same in lots of ways and they’re the opposite. She can crush easily, explode easily, cry easily, laugh easily. Everything Abed has no idea how to emote. Annie is a volcano of emotions, and they’re triggered most when she’s feeling because of or on behalf of other people.

So here’s this girl near his own age who is orderly and structured, and knows how other people feel and can enter in with them emotionally, including Abed. She’s so nice, and tries so hard. She’s even good at playing pretend (Mixology Certification, party of one?). What a perfect leading lady for the life-movie Abed sees everywhere he goes (because that’s how he makes sense of the world). Annie is the ideal female star he’d want in any story: the girl full of passion and drive.

But then there’s Jeff—the study group’s Judd Nelson—presumably the perfect leading man. When Abed first handpicks the group in the pilot and first season, Jeff wants Britta. Hey, that makes sense, Britta seems to be the leading lady type, actually! She’s nice, she’s strong, she’s beautiful. Works perfectly. And look, Annie wants Troy—the brainy bubbly girl wants the dumb jock, that makes sense too. Everything works. Then things start changing within the dynamic. Troy is actually not that dumb, and not that sports-obsessed—he’s fun, and he’s the ideal bro for Abed, but he doesn’t work with Annie. Britta is not that nice, and not that strong—she’s bad at everything, and she doesn’t understand people, she just wants to and is constantly trying to portray (and then hopefully become) the kind of person that does. And Jeff is a stunted jerk who needs reformation.

Oh, Annie is Abed’s friend now too. She said it herself, and that’s rare in Abed’s life. She called them really good friends, and that’s so important to him that he’ll sit in a room for 26 straight hours with nothing to do because Annie asked him to do it. Troy is not the only character Abed would give up control for. There’s one other from the start, because the moment she told him with all her earnest doe-eyedness they were friends, she had him hook line and sinker.

Season 1 progresses. Jeff and Britta might still work, and Abed seems mildly interested in that if only for the cliches—maybe Britta can make him better. No, wait, Britta is bad at that too. Actually, they’re not good for each other. Actually, they’re bad for each other—they’re bad for everyone. But they have similar terrible flaws and habits, so maybe they do make a good pair. Still fine leads. Still works. And besides, Annie has filled in the place of Troy with hippie Vaughn, which is also fine. Doesn’t really work long-term, but Jeff and Britta drive the plot forward more anyway, so the focus should be on them, right? The group is working. The group is thriving. The TV of life moves along.

(Except Jeff kissed Annie to win the Man Is Good/Evil debate. And Abed predicted it. Which means he was thinking about that as a possibility, because he operates on variables and tries to understand outcomes so that he’s not surprised by anything and can keep his friends for longer by relating to and reacting to them better. Jeff has leading man vibes, Annie has leading lady vibes, that’s one potential outcome. And though he insists he’s just making hypotheses based on what he’s learned about his friends so far, when it does happen right in front of them in real life, they kiss, Abed is just as shocked as the others—he literally can’t take his eyes off them until the debate is won. Then afterward, he tells Shirley he can’t predict the future and uses his plans for Pierce being discovered as a genius next in his home-movies as an example, which he believes would never happen—then Britta calls Pierce a genius right in front of him and Abed looks visibly concerned. Maybe what he predicts about his friends will keep happening, even the things he thinks are the least likely of the potential outcomes. Maybe even Jeff and Annie as the two leads. But that doesn’t make sense, does it? Jeff and Britta are endgame, aren’t they? Annie is too young for a leading man like Jeff. Annie is too nice; Jeff is too selfish. Annie is gorgeous and driven, Jeff is handsome and needs fixing, that would work, no, it would change things too much, it’s too unlikely, back to Jeff and Britta, back to playing with Troy and studying film, don’t give it a second thought—)

Transfer dance happens. Annie is going away for the summer with Vaughn. Classic Annie, has his back, always doing the better thing for the plot, bringing a good end-of-Season twist, but it’s okay, as far as he knows she’ll be back in the fall and besides, Abed’s got to-roomie-or-not-roomie with Troy issues to deal with.

And then the new semester starts after the transfer dance. And Anthropology 101 happens (again, one of my favorite episodes for the group fight at the end when it comes to my lil ships). I’M GONNA TALK ABOUT ANTHROPOLOGY 101 NOW. For A CHUNK of time. Jeff and Britta are doing relationship-drama stuff Abed doesn’t quite care about, until Shirley suggests he’s being selfish and that a real friend would enter into Jeff and Britta’s [incredibly fake and nasty] “happiness” and Abed thinks that could work. Actually, progressing Jeff and Britta’s relationship is a goal he can definitely work with. In fact, if you pay attention to the show, whenever there is an opportunity to advance or out Jeff/Britta, Abed takes that opportunity. And whenever there is an opportunity to put JeffAnnie in an uncomfortable or inevitable, c’est la vie light (which two independence-heavy freaks like Jeff and Annie would consider negatively) he takes that too.

Abed urges Jeff/Britta to get married right there in the library before the fight, gives them the ring, because he thinks that’s the next logical step in their grossness. Special episode, all about Jeff/Britta, endgame endgame endgame! He can work with that. In fact, he’s happy to control that. He leaves the room to inexplicably get an Irish singer, dead-ringer Clooney, and a transportable wedding set.

When he comes back and tries to prep the group for the special wedding episode, everyone is tense and Jeff is bleeding from the nose, and Abed does not notice; he’s intent on advancing the plot and the endgame. Then Troy says, “Abed. Jeff made out with Annie.” And Abed’s immediate reaction is “What? Where? When?” And he looks unhappy, like the rest of them. Jeff made out with Annie, and that means everything Abed thought he understood is incorrect. (And I think it bothers the crap out of him and he doesn’t have the ability to unpack why that is the way most people do because he’s different. Surely he’s just angry for the same reasons the rest of the group is? That must be it. That must be why he’s angry specifically with Jeff, not Britta in any tangible way, or even Annie in a tangible way—until later, which I’ll talk about eventually.) Annie tells him they kissed after the transfer dance in a guilty voice, which is a sheepishness she does not respond with to any of the other members of the group. It’s almost like she’s picking up on Abed’s emotion specifically this time. And while everyone else in the group explodes, and Jeff reduces his kiss with Annie to something he should be ashamed of (accurate) because men are monsters who crave young flesh and Annie looks absolutely crushed like a deer in the headlights, Abed starts packing up to leave. And we only see how angry he is right then—he doesn’t enter into anyone else’s problems. We see him react to “Jeff made out with Annie”, and then this is the next time we see him react. Jeff asks where he’s going and Abed throws out a quippy “I now pronounce you cancelled” with a bounce of his eyebrows in an angry way, at Jeff, and when he tries to leave Jeff hurls insults at his back and Abed stops in the doorway, in a normal-person—again, angry—way and turns around and drops one of the sickest burns of the whole show, that TV makes sense and has “likeable leading men”, and says “In life, we have this. We have you.” And walks out. His anger is not directed at anybody else. He doesn’t help Troy with the Pierce situation. He doesn’t try to fix any of it. It’s like he heard “Jeff made out with Annie”, learned the specifics, and was standing there reeling until eventually he decided he couldn’t deal and went to leave, and wouldn’t have shown just how angry he was with Jeff unless Jeff had provoked him, which he did.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE HE’S MAD JEFF KISSED ANNIE, JUSSAYIN’-

let me pretend I’m a 14-year-old shippy fangirl in my reasoning, okay-

Abed likes logic, and as Season 2 continues, Jeff/Annie gets more and more logical. In fact, even though he has noticed that Jeff and Britta are secretly hooking up in the background of the Season, he is not surprised in Paradigms of Human Memory when Annie calls Jeff out for the will-they-won’t-they he’s been enacting with her, and even says there is something between the two of them, matter-of-factly, which Jeff refuses to own up to. But Abed and Annie are getting closer and closer, too. It’s subtle, but it’s clear they’re 100% comfortable around each other. That becomes super clear by Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas, when, besides Troy, Annie is the only other character to enter into Abed’s way of thinking and play with him, because it’s genuinely important to him and she recognizes that this is what he needs, when everyone else kind of drops off. She helps Abed and Troy stop Duncan from dealing with Abed in a practical, normal way, because she sees that Abed is dealing with something and can only deal with it his way to get through it. That’s incredibly rare for Abed, we see. He’s very attached to her—like I said, often touching her, often sitting by her, often reacting to her.

(I mean hi, in English As A Second Language, Abed thinks he won’t be affected by Annie’s Disney Face; when everyone else obeys Jeff in closing their eyes to it, Abed doesn’t. “Oh don’t worry about me, I can only connect to people through...movies...” literally stops in his tracks when he sees her Disney Face with the cutest wistful twitch of a smile. Jeff has to Indiana-Jones-reference him to make him look away. He doesn’t only connect to people through movies—at least, Annie can get through to him without the need of movies; he’s not a quirky lil robot, he can have normal feelings, but boy does it seem like Annie is the one bringing them out of him more often than most. she gets under his skin ajhzsdkejdb-)

Abed definitely has a crush on Annie. But he doesn’t know how to deal with that or portray it. To his mind, Annie should be with a leading man. Any time he flirts with her, he is pretending to be a leading man from a movie or show. (For a Few Paintballs More, anyone?) Because that’s who she should be paired off with. And that’s what she wants, right? She loooves Jeff Winger now. Britta’s not the leading lady, she never was, that role was always Annie’s, and it makes sense she wants Jeff, and it makes even more sense that Abed is observing the love story, not part of it. Abed is not the leading man, he’s the computer. He watches, analyzes, does not get involved or get the girl.

But he still wants her around, and he can have that much—in fact, when he moves in with Troy and Annie tells him she loves their place, Abed instantly suggests she move in. Not Abed and Troy. Just Abed, and he does not discuss it with his roommate. And Troy seems confused and surprised and gives Abed such an interesting look right after. Annie moves in, Abed agrees to sacrifice some of his routine for her (blanket fort for he and Troy, full bedroom for Annie), things are happy. Things are fine. She puts away his buttered noodles when he’s not finished with them, but she adapts to his needs when he expresses he doesn’t want her to do that; she breaks his Batman DVD but he adapts by forgiving her in a role he can express that in—Batman himself, plus, bonus, he gets to flirt with her as that leading man—and things are better. But then Annie starts trying to control things. Annie starts trying to make life go according to the movie in her head. She tries to get Britta and Troy together, which not only robs Abed of his best friend for a day and disrupts his routine, it makes him angry with Annie. And not just because she tampered with the group’s dynamic, which he doesn’t want anyone else but him to do. okay we’re caught up NOW I get to talk about Virtual Systems Analysis, which is my FAVORITE COMMUNITY EPISODE-

Throughout that episode, Annie is trying to speak in Abed’s language in the Dreamatorium in order to teach him empathy. In the past, she’s had success in communicating with him on his level, but this seems extra hard for some reason. She sees somehow through his expressionless face right away and sees he is angry with her, and though he tries to deflect by saying she’s going to ruin the group by meddling, she eventually does recognize what the problem is. At first she’s convinced Abed just wants Abed’s way and that he needs to be taught how to think of others first (she’s right), but he hears her say that to Troy and it spirals him right into the worry he always has—that he’s crazy, that he’s a problem, that he’ll never fit in because of that, and that when Annie (and anyone else) tries to deal with or fix him, they will get sick of it, give up, and toss him aside. He was already angry with her for a different reason, not just wanting his way again—but now he’s sure she’s done with Abed, too. So he becomes someone else, everyone else, to make his point: that she’s just messing with Britta and Troy so that nothing will stand in the way of her and Jeff.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAYS WHEN HE IS PRETENDING TO BE JEFF TO HER? He says, “With Abed gone, and Troy and Britta together, there’s nothing standing in the way of us.” With Abed gone. Why did he say that? Because with Abed gone, Annie gets to be in control of everyone? Obviously not. Or is it because out of everyone, every variable, the only other match that makes sense for Britta is Troy and the only other match that makes sense for Annie is-

Oops, Freudian slip. Oh, she’s not falling for it. And Abed is mad at her because he thinks she set up Britta and Troy so she could be with Jeff. Abed is mad that that’s what she wants. And when she tries to argue it’s not, he literally pretends he is her, logicking it out at her, trying to convince her that that is what she wants, because that’s what he thinks she wants, and her controlling things to cause JeffAnnie makes him mad. But c’est la vie, it’s inevitable anyway, right? Why isn’t she seeing that? Why is she trying to talk about him, he doesn’t want to talk about him, especially not after what she said about him— Then she fights back and tells him that she does not love Jeff, she loves the idea of being loved and if she can teach a guy like Jeff to love her, she’ll never be alone. And then she finds out that’s what Abed is afraid of, too. No—that’s what Abed is used to. “I’ve run the simulations, Annie. I don’t get married. [Why is that the first thing he said?] I don’t etc. etc.”

He’s afraid he’ll be alone, and people will always be getting tired of him and throwing him away. Didn’t Annie get tired of him? But she doesn’t, she’s not—in fact, she understands him. She shows him other members of the group understand that feeling, too. She uses his language to explain to him that he’s wrong, and that neither of them should be trying to make life go according to a script in their heads. Abed sees that she does understand, and if she can get into his head and understand him, she really can do it with anyone, and if she can do it, maybe he can too. Annie helps him and makes him a better person, because she reminds him to empathize, which is something Abed didn’t think he could do. Okay I just spent a long time talking about Abed’s perspective. A tiny bit of Annie now, because this is going on too long. As for Annie, she is afraid of being alone and unloved. She’s “psycho”, she’s crazy too, because someone who empathizes that much and can exude that much emotion does seem crazy to other people. She’s a different crazy than Abed, but her brand of psycho lends itself well to getting and communicating with him, because his crazy is escapism and her crazy is confrontation. His crazy is emotionless, her crazy is emotional. His crazy is control, her crazy is compassion. Her parents cut her off, her high school shunned her, Troy never noticed her, of course she’s scared of being ditched. Of being unimportant. Annie’s need to be perfect comes from the need to feel valued. And doesn’t Abed understand the need to not feel left alone? Doesn’t he understand everything needing to be just so, doesn’t he understand wanting to feel important but never expecting it? Just the computer. Just the observer. Wait. Didn’t he invite her to live with him, voluntarily? Doesn’t he always seem to be choosing her to sit by, don’t they always seem to be reassuring one another with a look or a touch? He gets how she feels about Jeff and Britta and their monopolization (hi Basic Sandwich), he gets when she’s feeling insecure, he gets when she needs to escape, just for a second, to pretend to be someone else in any given scenario so that she can take a risk or get out of her comfort zone, and he excels at that so they often do it together. They don’t have to be alone, they have each other. Annie doesn’t have to be perfect, Abed doesn’t have to be normal, and neither of them have to be in control. But nobody listens to me and instead we have Jeff kissing Annie and Brie Larson in a sweater. And don’t get me started on VCR Maintenance and Educational Publishing and why Abed and Annie are individually trying so hard to fight each other’s third-roommate preferences-

[1moreff-creator]

DR:OS CH2 Part 2 First Impressions

You know what time it is! >:D I may have finished my analysis on CH1, but there'll still be much to write about CH2! So let's go in!

CWs

"Mark: It says the motive announcement is tomorrow morning." Great! We're screwed even faster than in CH1! xD

"Kennedy: This motive… it’s about death. We should be ready.

Aidan: Not this again…

Vanessa: Why do you think it’s about death…?

Ellis: Dude, don’t indulge them…" Even Ellis is done with Kennedy's shit by this point :p

"Ellis: Perhaps eleven of us will expire by the end of this very conversation. Kennedy will survive; Vivi, perhaps… it’s just a question of who else has the guts to stick it out ‘til the end.

I look around.

Ellis: Maybe Jeff will manage to absentee himself just in the nick of time.

Taylor: “Dude, don’t indulge them…”" This is just funny xD

"Vivi: Why don’t any of you ever listen to her?

Aidan: ‘Cause she’s wrong.

Vivi: You don’t know that! You always just assume! Like, you hear “Conspiracy Theorist” and just tune them out, but they’re an Ultimate Theorist! Are you really going to completely disregard that just… just because his talent has a stupid adjective on it?!" I told y'all! The reason Vivi respects Kennedy is because their talent also makes them look worse! Mad Duo my beloved.

"Vivi: But it’s not about the associations, it’s about Kennedy! You’ve talked to her!

Aidan: Pff. Yeah, and that’s why I don’t listen." Aidan just never misses, damn.

"Taylor: “You’re not seeing the big picture! See, the mastermind knows that I’ll solve all their puzzles, so they had to discredit me the second I even walked in the door! It’s so clear that you all aren’t thinking hard enough about it, because you aren’t ready to handle the truth, which I’m telling you!”” :O Taylor went kinda hard ngl.

"Is that the Paris influence, or something they cooked up all on their own? Whatever the case, I’m intrigued to see what happens next." You and me both, Ellis :p

[Harper FTE] Wee FTE time! And Harper's one of the characters we know the least about, so this is cool!

"Harper: Oh, hello Ellis. I’m not sure who this is for yet. I sort of just… started making it.

Ellis: Eh, makes enough sense. I know a lot of people like having something to do with their hands.

Harper: Yes, I tend to feel restless if I’m not doing anything." We are. Really driving this point home, huh?

"Ellis: Yeah, I’m used to people blowing up my phone too… Crazy to not have anybody knocking at my door. Any of my usual admirers, I mean." Sure babe.

"Harper: All of you are so interesting.

Ellis: Eh? Yeah, I get that a lot, when you get rid of the “all of.”

Harper: Everyone has such specific lives and interesting stories about them. It’s been nice getting to know you better." Yeah that's a nice way of putting "everyone here is insane."

"Ellis: You fancy yourself a storyteller at all?

Harper: I don’t consider myself one, but if there’s anything you’d like to know about, I’m willing to answer.

Ellis: Oh yeah? What’s your type?" I wonder how many times I'll write "Ellis never lets one go" before the end of this fangan :v

"Harper: Oh. I haven’t given it much thought.

Ve thinks for a moment.

Harper: Probably… someone sweet and thoughtful. I think that caring for the other person is the most important thing." Yeah that tracks :p

"Harper: What about yourself?

Ellis: Anyone.

The answer, it leaves my mouth before I can process in the slightest.

Ellis: Anyone… worthy of my time! You know, because they’re… interesting. And down for whatever. Like that." This also tracks, massively xD

"Harper: I’m sure your partners would speak highly of you."Harper: I’m sure your partners would speak highly of you.

Ellis: Yeah. Obviously.

I purse my lips.

Ellis: You too, if you’ve…

Harper: I haven’t.

I kinda guessed." How awkward can one conversation get? Lol. At leaast we get a bit more info on Harper!

"Man, I hope I didn’t embarrass myself in front of ver…

Ah, what am I saying? Ve literally admitted to me that ve hasn’t talked much to other people of ver status ver age. I’m setting the precedent! If anything, I’m sure I’m setting the standards too high." Remember that thing I said about Ellis going back and forth between faux overconfidence and insecurity? Yeah that.

"Davis: Oh, hey Ellis. Are you busy?

Ellis: For you? Uh… I could make time, if you need me for something.

Davis: It’s nothing important. I was just going to go on a walk. You can join, if you’d like." ? Very curious about this. Even if the color coding’s gonna be awful :p

"Davis: …Is it nice?

Ellis: Not as nice as you.

My hand moves to form a finger gun, but I choose to slap my hand to my face instead.

Ellis: Gah! Sorry. Uh, I guess it’s nice? People say that ignorance is bliss, don’t they?" I do really appreciate that Ellis is trying their best to back off from doing their pickup lines on Davis, it's sweet :)

"Davis: …Hi, Jeff.

Jeff raises an eyebrow at him.

Jeff: Everything good?

Davis: It’s fine.

I notice Davis speaking with a short tone. Does Jeff… bother him?

Ellis: Y’know what might make us better? Bar snacks!" Okay Davis was confusing me before but now I genuinely have no clue what's happening anymore. I am very, very intrigued. Also good on Ellis trying to make things less awkward ig.

"Davis: …Is this really the best use of our time…?

Jeff: Nothing wrong with enjoying what we have, right? The others would want us to be happy or whatever." Is that what's bothering Davis? Jeff's nonchalance? But he didn't seem to have this issue with Ellis, who presents herself like that too, so... I don't know :v

"Davis: …Somewhere else. I wouldn’t want to… intrude…

Jeff: Nah, stay a while. What’s the harm?

Davis: …

He looks to Jeff, then to me, seeming a bit uncomfortable." Wait does he think Ellis and Jeff are flirting, because of the sunglasses and finger guns thing I kinda skipped over here? Is that what's happening? I can't think of anything else, so.

"Jeff: Everything’s chill. Honestly, life’s pretty good. It’s normal, right? Get what I can from the place before skipping out." Funny you use that word, "normal." I've talked about how a point that seems to be getting made is how different that concept is for everyone, and this seems to be furthering that theme, which is cool :)

"Ellis: Wait, are you planning to escape?

Jeff: …Someday, yeah, obviously? Like, at some point, one or more of us is gonna get out of here, and I’d like it to be me.

Davis: Even if you’re the only one?

Jeff: I mean… yeah? Everyone’s in it for themself. If everyone else goes and dies off, that’s not on me.

Too bad you’re not the lucky student, hot stuff." So we've decided we wanted even more parallels to Ellis' mindset, huh? Though if I understand the creation process correctly, this is more or less a coincidence, which is crazy. Point stands, though.

"Davis: Don’t you worry about them at all? Could you still see it as a good thing, if everyone else has to die for you?

Jeff: Sure. I’m in it for me, no matter where I am.

Davis: Don’t you think that’s selfish?

Jeff: I mean, yeah. But who cares? I’d expect everyone else to be acting in their own best interest all the time, too.

Davis: But… you’ve probably hurt people, haven’t you? The people you leave behind all the time… wouldn’t they miss you?

Jeff: Do I care?" Okay circle back, Davis doesn't think Jeff and Ellis are flirting. It's just that Ultimate Absentee is apparently a talent he really doesn't like, ig. Wonder if it ties into his Bachelor status in any way.

"Davis: Are you really just… going to ditch this conversation, too…?" Classic Jeff move xD

"Jeff: Geez, what’s his deal…?

Ellis: I guess he’s one of those “traumatized by murder” types.

Jeff: Ah. Sucks to be him, I guess." Bro???

"I excuse myself sooner than I’d like, though– for some reason, I’m feeling slightly nauseous. Must be the water." Uh... there's not already some kind of murder plan being set up, right? Ellis felt nauseous because of the conversation and is just doing his bravado thing when he says it's the water, right? Right?

"Unfortunately, tonight I find myself next to Vivi and Kennedy. At least Mark’s here." Speaking of murder, I'm getting really worried about the amount of screen time the Mad Duo is getting this chapter already. Surely, they wouldn't die yet, right? Right? x2

"Kennedy: Motive theories. Go." Hysterical. I love him xD

"Vivi: But, you don’t mean, like, death-death, right? Like, in a way we can’t still fix…? I wouldn’t just let someone die like that.

Ellis: Um… and what exactly does that mean?

Vivi: If someone’s still alive, I can save them, no matter what." I wonder if that idea will ever come into play.

"Kennedy: No, they’re onto something here! It wouldn’t just be them… Maybe, over the course of the game, different motives will only affect different people…" Why are we doing discussing this, anyways? Watch Kennedy be right about this lol.

[Motive Theory Discussion] There are some pretty good points being brought up here. I wonder if these characters did sign up for it. Knowing what we know about the Tragedy, it'd kinda make sense for followers of Junko to do some shit like that. But that's only a possibility. Who knows!

"Kennedy: True. But for now… You’re good at this, huh?

Mark: Me?

Kennedy: I’ve gotta get you up to speed. Together, the two of us could really figure out some big mysteries of this place." Get in loser we're going theorizing xD

Also what do you mean "two of us." Kennedy don't leave out Vivi like that >:p

Should I be worried that Mark is getting dragged into this sorta like Cass was, given Cass was the CH1 victim? Nah, surely not.

"Vivi: Still. [Kennedy's theories] all lead somewhere.

Ellis: Sure.

That “somewhere” is more like the middle of a mental desert with no gas, cash, or cell signal, but you can’t deny the journey." Lol.

"We’re really in the rat race now, aren’t we? While everyone chases after victory, morality, chill vibes, whatever, we’re all just becoming smaller creatures with pointier teeth, scrambling around the halls for nothing. I keep getting distracted by those damn pieces of cheese.

First, Harper diverts my attention with that colorful quilt and tries to lure me into ~emotional vulnerability~. Then, I bring Davis to the Pool, and he gets mad at Jeff and I for expressing our real emotions! And then there’s Kennedy, the wildest rat of all, chomping at the bit to try to outpace the scientists that have trapped us all. Good luck with that, Chuck E Cheese." Feeling poetic, are we? Pretty cool analogy though :)

"Monoquin: Greetings, contestants. Please enter the Movie Theater." Woo! Motive time! Everything's about to get worse! :D

"Right… just a few days ago, I was sitting here with both Vanessa and Antonia." Ouch.

"The screen displays what looks like a roulette wheel, but instead of the numbers, our faces sit at the ends of each of the fourteen slices." Oh hey it's the thing from the announcement poster! Minus Monoquin plus Ellis, presumably. Didn't think that would come up, but cool!

"It goes around, and around, and then, the screen goes black.

There’s a thud as something falls from a panel in the ceiling.

Ellis: Woah!

I instinctively lean away from where the object crashes down. No. No. No. This isn’t another of those crazy murder boxes, is it?" Alright I'm scared, what's happening.

"Grace: Justin? JUSTIN?!

Ellis: Wait, it actually IS another crazy body arrival?!

Noah: What?! Wait, no, that can’t…

Mark: This… this is the motive?

Monoquin: Yes. In the simplest of terms, this is the “Loved One’s Roulette.” Each day, at this same time, everyone will gather in the Movie Theater, and a randomly selected contestant will lose a loved one– whoever it would trouble them most to lose." ...Well there goes the Grace!MM theory! Sort of. And also Justin! Goddamn!

This is a pretty cool motive! THH just left the fate of the loved ones vague (and from UDG we know they weren't straight up dead), but this takes that and spins it! Now you don't know who the loved one is, but you know they're gonna die if you're unlucky! Adding that sort of random time limit is crazy, I love it.

Wait- Oh shit Kennedy was right! It did have to do with death! Crazy! Alright so now we know what the deal with the Show Room is, at least, which is neat.

Not only that, but it also only affects certain people! Mark, for example, wouldn't be affected because they don't remember any loved ones. I wonder if that really means there's only eleven loved ones in danger here, with five participants who don't have any loved ones to threaten them with. Antonia and Cass are probably two (not because they don't have loved ones, but because they're already dead), Mark's another, I'm betting Jeff is the fourth, and the fifth is Aidan maybe? Not so sure on those last two. That's kinda what makes the most sense to me right now, I wonder if they'll confirm or deny it.

Another point, sorta unrelated but still about the motive. Monoquin claims the loved one lost will be "whoever it would trouble [the participant] most to lose." Grace lost Justin, not their parents, which we know they have. Curious.

Also for some guesses as to which loved ones each person would lose:

Vanessa: Sister, confirmed to exist via Q&A.

Antonia: Sister (N/A since she's dead).

Paris: A friend? I don't think she's ever mentioned family.

Vivi: Family member, she's mentioned them a bunch.

Ellis: Step-siblings? Though the wheel probably won't land on them due to Luck.

Grace: Justin (obviously confirmed).

Noah: I would say sisters, but given his conversation with Vivi earlier, maybe it would be a friend.

Jeff, Aidan, Mark: N/A.

Taylor, Davis, Kennedy, Cass, Harper: No idea. (Cass is N/A anyways due to death).

Alright that was fun let's actually keep reading now :p

"They literally showcased this motive as a form of gambling. I’m the lucky one, and I’m great at gambling!" The point I made, yeah.

"This stupid wheel will never be able to lay its hands on my…

My…

…who?" Okay hold on maybe replace Aidan with Ellis in the N/A section lol. Does she really not have anyone, or does she just not know who it would be out of everyone she knows?

"Kennedy: Told you so.

Vivi: Kennedy!" I concur with Vivi, Kennedy this is kinda insensitive xD

"Aidan: Not the time for this, Rey." Yeah that.

"Grace: This isn’t fair! I… I should have had a chance, just like everyone else!

Monoquin: My apologies, Mx. Thomas, but it was random chance.

Taylor: Grace…?

Jeff: …You’d have done it, huh?

Ellis: Hey, hey, we don’t know that’s the “chance” that Grace was talking about. Maybe they just meant, y’know, a chance to process and… come to terms with it.

Who would it be?

Grace: I meant what I said. So what? It’s trading our lives for the lives of those we care about. Is it so criminal if the total number of lives lost would be the same thing?" Holy shit Grace was fucking ready. And you know they don't waste no time! If they hadn't gotten picked, come the next morning, there probably would have been a body to discover, and not from the roulette. Crazy. I wonder if Ellis' luck came into play there, to keep people alive for a bit longer by making the motive inapplicable to the one that hates wasting time.

Also yeah Ellis just straight up doesn't know who his loved one is, crazy.

"Vivi: …I can try to save him.

Harper: How…?

Vivi: I’ve never tried before, but it's possible… I don’t know how recently he died or anything, but… people’s hearts can stop and they can still be brought back, right? People can be temporarily “dead.” It’s possible…" Oh hey it did come up! Crazy timing ig.

"Grace: Absolutely not.

Vivi: Why not? If you care about him so much, isn’t it worth trying? Isn’t it our responsibility to do whatever we can to help these people?

Grace: And what would you do to him? If you fail, would his body still be intact? Would I even be able to recognize his face?

Vivi: H-hey!

Davis: This… isn’t really helping…

Vivi: So you’d kill for this guy, but now that he’s dead, you won’t even let me try to bring him back?!

Grace: Leave him alone!" Holy hell tensions are getting high, goddamn.

"Paris: Hey, you two, take a sec, deep breaths, chill, all that. Yelling isn’t gonna bring back the dead, y’know~?" This is not the time for a tilde (~), Paris! How are you still so unbothered by all this?! What?!

"I don’t have a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or… anyone…" Huh.

"Grace: No." Don't worry Vivi someone will let you do science here one day, I promise. You couldn't at the talent show and you couldn't now, but I trust.

"Davis: This… you said this was every day?

Monoquin: Until someone commits a murder, yes.

Taylor: That’s… such a cruel motive.

Aidan: …Get used to it, I guess." First Davis line not to work perfectly with Davis!MM btw, but also Aidan is as insane as ever lol.

"Would my family still care about me, after I left home? I don’t check back in often. I mostly just hang out with an entourage now– My… friends…?" Well, there's... some people it could be, maybe Aidan really is the fifth "N/A". Assuming that's what the graves mean, anyways.

[Noah FTE] Well time to move on from the most horrific shit ever! Hurray!

"Ellis: Yeah, the people here are a little different than your typical frat. Like, can you imagine Taylor in a frat? Paris???" That would be an image, for sure.

"Noah: Yeah, that’d be wild. You’d fit in pretty well, but I take it you don’t go to college.

Ellis: Pfft. ‘Course not. I don’t need that when I’ve already got fabulous wealth and great looks.

Noah: Makes sense." Just in case anyone was wondering, lol.

"Ellis: What do they teach you in those fancy college English classes?

Noah: I don’t really pay attention to most of them.

Ellis: Ayy, up top!" No respect for the classics smh.

"I shiver as I think of Robert on the dance floor." Truly, a horrifying image.

"Ellis: And, what about you? I assume you must’ve started partying at college, if not before.

I hope he doesn’t realize that I didn’t mention a “before.”" Yeah, for all we know about Ellis, we know surprisingly little of his earlier years.

"Noah: Like ten or something. I went to the same college as my dad, and he’s, like, super big on our frat. He donates all the time and helps run events and stuff, so I pretty much grew up there. 

Ellis: They let a ten year old into a college party?

Noah: Just me. It wasn’t, like, a usual thing." ???? Bro??? I mean neat backstory but what in the actual hell???

"Noah: As long as people get to where they need to be, it doesn’t matter too much how long it takes, right?

Ellis: Ah. You’re one of those “destination over journey” types.

Noah: It’s not like life ends at the destination, right? You’re just moving on to a new part." Neat perspective!

"Ellis: Hey, Mark. Uh, Vivi…? What are you doing…?

Vivi: Trying to find a way to raise the dead." Yeah this is a normal topic of conversation xD

"Vivi: I’m not going to try to resurrect Justin without Grace’s consent or anything! I’m just… seeing what theories I might have, in case someone consenting does show up." Good! I was worried at the start of this scene that something really fucked was going on.

"I look at Mark in a way that says, “please don’t tell me you’ve joined them, Mark.”

Mark: I figured it’d be good for someone to keep her company. There’s a lot they’re trying to do." Mad Duo turning into Theory Trio let's go!!! (I'm joking I don't really think Mark's that insane yet).

"Ellis: We really don’t need to add a zombie apocalypse on top of everything else." That would be a hell of a plot point though xD

"Vivi: I mean, you can’t guarantee if a corpse gives consent to it, but that’s why there are powers of attorney and stuff, right? It’s not like this never happens in the real world. Loved ones can consent for those who are unable to." Ah, the ethical ramifications of attempting to raise the dead, lol.

"Vivi: At least one person cares about their loved one enough to try to save them. I guarantee it." I mean, yeah. Vivi themself would probably try this on their loved one, right?

"Vivi: …I mean, hopefully I’ll get some test runs in. I ordered some mice from the Customer Service Desk…" Of course you did. Goddamn, they really weren't kidding when they said the doctor was Mad, huh?

"Noah: …She’ll be fine, right? She’s not going to do anything completely unreasonable…" I am very worried about whatever's about to happen.

"Then again, it is kinda messed up. It’s like using someone as an organ donor when they didn’t check that box on their driver’s license." The ethics of the situation are all kinda fucked, yeah.

"Whatever. Whatever. It’s just me. I’m not the one who needs to be making decisions like these. Coast until the lucky end– that was my strategy from the start, and it’ll be my strategy until the end." Classic Ellis, really.

"Noah: Hey, uh… good food at the buffet today, right?

Noah nudges Vanessa gently.

Vanessa: Yeah, it’s nice, I guess." I like how Noah's trying to cheer Ness up, it's sweet :)

"Aidan: …Hey. Who do you think your people are?

Vanessa: Uh… I mean, my sister, probably…" Yeah... ouch...

"Noah: …It’s gotta be my dad. I’ve… sort of accepted it, if it has to happen." I kinda forgot about his dad earlier in this post oops. But yeah, this tracks with the FTE.

"Ellis: Well, uh… I care about all of them equally! So, still no leads." Sure babe.

"Aidan: Eleven graves, fourteen contestants. Three people don’t have anyone in the rotation." Oh so suddenly theorizing about the motive based on the Show Room is okay, huh? Funny how that workds xD

"Aidan: It’s gotta be, right? I assume one is Mark, because they wouldn’t recognize anyone who turned up for them. Then there’s me, and one more.

Vanessa: You don’t care about anyone…?

Aidan: I mean, who would it be? It’s not like I’ve consistently spent time with anyone recently, or ever. Hell, in the last year, I've probably had the most conversations with Davis ‘cause he keeps coming to me." Seems he and I arrived at the same conclusion about Mark, so the question is whether the last one is Jeff or Ellis (or someone else but I find the others a bit more unlikely). Also, I wasn't imagining it, Davis is sticking close to Aidan, cool!

"Aidan: Do you remember what Grace said earlier today? About the whole trading equal numbers of lives thing? It’s not one to one. Not if you try to actually win as the blackened.

Ellis: Well yeah, if you assume that each of us only has one person on standby. As far as we know, there’s nothing to stop Grace from being rolled again.

Aidan: Nah, I asked Monoquin. One slot per person. If we get through all fourteen days, the motive’s over, and we get a new one." I mean, the whole "one to one" thing really wouldn't last if a few more deaths happened before someone actually murdered, so. But cool to know that there's only one per person!

"Vanessa: If no one you care about is at stake, why do you even care so much…? 

He shrugs.

Aidan: I figured other people did." Right, Aidan acts on what he thinks other people care about, since he doesn't give a shit about anything, generally speaking.

"Ellis: Do you think… the mastermind has someone on the line? Or do you think they’re one of those three slots? [...]

Noah: I mean, couldn’t the mastermind, like… lie? They could have the randomizer rigged, or turn up some random body and be like, “oh no, my person!” We don’t actually know who anyone’s people are, let alone what they look like. 

Vanessa: If it’s like that, then do you think the mastermind would bother with all that…?

Aidan: It’s probably less suspicious that way, right?" Oh hey, maybe Grace!MM is back on, actually. Would make sense if they didn't want to risk Vivi actually raising the dead only for the corpse to reveal that he's not Justin actually xD I don't think that's what's happening, but y'know. Where is Kennedy when you need him?

"Aidan: Me, Mark, and one more. Probably Ellis or Jeff.

Ellis: Wh–hey! I just told you who my people were!

Aidan: Not really." Lmao. Also yeah Aidan and me are on, like, the exact same wavelength here.

"Super Vivi is here to save the day, defy god, and reverse the biological process that’s ruled the Earth since its creation! I’m sure a 20-something in a crop top with a scalpel dangling from her ear is perfectly equipped to handle that. Honestly, how do they delude themself so badly…?" Ellis just can't handle a death defying bitch, huh?

"But, what if? Luck can only carry someone so far. I can be delayed as far to the back as I please, but if no one kills for fourteen days, there’s no running or hiding from seeing my result, whatever it may bring. Does that just mean that somebody will kill before my sliver has the chance to yield results?

Who am I kidding? We’ve had two contestants die before there was even a motive announced. Somebody’s definitely going to snap if there are actual other lives on the line. There just might be a few more bodies than anticipated standing in the way between me and my freedom." Yeah, no chance it actually goes through all 14 lol. That said, I am very curious to see who'll be next.

-

Wow, what a chapter! Motive's getting announced pretty quickly, all things considered, but it makes sense with what the motive is. And it's a hell of a motive! I like it a lot! As always, excited to move forward, this chapter's looking even better than the last one! I'm just worried about how much we seem to be lining up for Vivi to die this chapter, but let's hope I'm just imagining things xD Thanks for reading, see ya'!

[docholligay]

Yellowjackets Ep 2.5: Van

Hello! This is about up to Season 2, Episode 5 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY that of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond this spot, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always open

So Van’s arrested development thjing (aside from, you know, Tai) is video tapes. I’m not sure I would have seen that coming, but it fits along with everyone else’s ways of remaining a teenager. Even in the opener of this episode, we see that Van is chjatting to people much younger than her. That’s not inherently problematic or whatever you imagine that I’m going to say, but she’s literally just reflecting on the things that were popular when she was a teenager. She’s bringing other people back, to where she still lives. It’s not even just a video store where people can come rent things, it’s a literal VHS store. She rents the VCR, too. And all her stupid movie references! There’s no progress forward. 

We see such a glimpse into how she’s let her entire life go by in the way she watches that wedding video. She has watched other people’s lives, and never really participated in her own, i imagine because she is still busy living this fantasy she created. Where she and Tai got married or whatever and they were sappy together, and without that, without Tai, without Lottie, Van is incredibly pathetic. Maybe even moreso than Shauna, though admittedly, I get to say that with a lot more Shauna-based experience under my belt.

I don’t have enough Tai to really talk just about Tai, so I’m gonna fold this moment into Van’s whole thing I guess. He breakdown, her screaming, to me that was more of young Tai coming out. As the Yellowjackets spend more time together they are regressing even further. The layers that let them believe they had ever grown up, they had ever moved past, are all getting stripped away slowly.  

We know Van has the terminal cancer, right? It’s not a pill addiction thing.I mean, I feel like I am not dropping insane truth bombs here, it is shaded so heavily. 

Also, her scars are hilarious, I’m sorry. This is a really badly done aspect of the show. She should look rougher. There should be pulling and intense scarring. I know Van has to be good looking enough for us to cheer for her and Tai (I won’t) but come on. 

[ticklepinions]

Ranting

Do y'all feel like everything is just so infuriating.

I don't even know how to phrase what I'm upset about. I hate how it feels like one side has to do the heavy lifting, while the other side just watches.

Avoidant people are automatically demonized and told to be better. Introverts are told to go out more and do better. Night owls are looked down upon and often pegged as lazy. Me literally trying to be friends with people but because I'm unemployed there's this vibe I get from people. Maybe I'm just projecting my insecurities but it genuinely feels so real.

Why is every aspect of my being tied to productivity? Oh "avoidant people don't take responsibility for their actions", hey not entirely true. Anxious attachment styles can also be toxic when not handled correctly. But you pair both of them up, at least from what I've seen/experienced, it is up to the avoidant person to manage everyone's feelings. Like wtf is that. I got in an argument with a friend, and I said I needed time to process and it basically led to them saying "why can't we just talk now, it's making me anxious". And because I fawn sometimes, I just compromised. And that's so fucking shitty. But I ask the people around me and the vibe is usually yeah it's best to handle things there and then. But because my brain literally isn't wired that way, I genuinely need to talk it out a lot with people who aren't involved to get a better sense of what I'm feeling. I often don't know why I got upset, or if I am upset at all. But nooooo avoidant people are the worst ever. Hey maybe we can also benefit from not dealing with a problem right away. Maybe taking some time can also be an appropriate decision.

Or when we speak about introverts. It's always this thing people want to fix. Talk more. Put yourself out there. Network. I'm exhausted. But the disdain is seldomly towards extroverted people.

Early risers can do so much with their day so people love them. But oh you wake up AND stay up late? What are you doing with your time?? Work I hope.

And I'm not saying we put the "other" side on blast. It's just frustrating to have aspects of yourself that don't necessarily need to change, constantly be poked and prodded at. And not once have people stopped to wonder maybe we can just do things differently.

I feel insane sometimes with hearing people say "that's just life". Hey so what if I shoot myself with a water gun. Why does it have to be like that? Are we not gonna do something about it? I'm just expected to grin and bear it like everyone else is doing? While it's literally making me question my sanity and if I want to continue *living* period. Hello??

Anyways therapy cannot come any sooner I am gonna crash out lmfao

Edit: how could I forget mental illness. People actually don't gaf. If your depression/anxiety/whatever isn't something digestible, you can forget about support. And people love weaponizing therapy. Therapy can only do so much. I'm literally paying for someone to validate me. If I can't find it naturally within my own community that's just more isolation. We've become so individualized and with terms like trauma dumping and capacity and what not being used, and rather incorrectly, it perpetuates this thought of you shouldn't complain about anything to your own circle.

[sk1fanfiction]

(ch. 21/107) -- CASS !!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE DONE THIS TO ME 😖😖 this chapter was insane, i was on the edge of my seat the whole time, inching closer to my laptop like i wanted to insert myself into the story to see it with my own eyes. from the opening i was like "omg, harry's fucked" this is why you don't follow the ghosts of your dead mother, harold ! the claustrophobic space would've driven me over the edge personally, harry is a champ for staying as long as he did. it is also insanely in character for voldemort to keep harry's glasses close to him so he could "see" in the pitch black dark of the room, what a bitch. the whole confrontation with voldemort was just so *chef's kiss* with both harry AND ruby, they're both such spiteful little cretins i love them, they make voldemort so angry without even having to do much. i absolutely love it when voldy says he sees lily in ruby bc we all know everyone says that about harry with their parents, but i feel like it's very rarely said about ruby. one of my favourite moments was definitely moody calling tom dumbledore's "assistant" that had to have humbled him (also tom and dumbledore giving each other knowing looks, and tom "looking for approval" from dumbledore and all is so cute actually, that's his forced adopted son right there). we got the malfoy breakdown bathroom scene too, woohoo !! (i loved the wet cat comparison, he's such a fucking loser). also, got literal chills when ruby started "sweet talking" and placating malfoy and she's like "am i dumbledore? am i fucking tom riddle? well this is shit..." like girl... you've been amongst manipulators for way too long, you have become them 😭 anyway, get you friends like ron, hermione and anthony, they're so loyal and unhinged it's crazy. speaking of unhinged, i appreciated barty jr making an appearance ! poor ruby tho, getting chased by a madman, getting abandoned, stumbling upon voldemort's office, getting told your twin is dead and then getting saved all at once AND during exam season? yikes, i do not envy you girl. but hello? the ending scene?? you go bella, take charge girl?! but also, release tommy, what is my guy doing there? how did he get drugged?? 😭 can't trust teenagers(?) early twenties guys with nothing anymore (i forgot his age and cannot do the maths rn). YOU ARE SO CRUEL MAKING ME WAIT A WEEK FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER UGH !!

Insane was what I was going for, so I'm glad it delivered!!

This is indeed why you don't follow the ghost of your dead mother (especially when a Seer warned you not to chase ghosts). I thought the glasses were a nice touch (because Voldemort is a petty bitch if nothing else).

they're both such spiteful little cretins i love them -- spite is the Potter special. And, yes, a compliment from Voldemort (but at what cost).

Tom definitely doesn't fw being called Dumbledore's 'assistant' (he prefers colleague) and you know they were having a whole secret conversation with Legilimency.

Full disclosure, half the reason I sent Malfoy to Durmstrang for a whole three years is because personally I find him a little boring until HBP and the assassination plot and specifically the bathroom breakdown (the loser trait adds some dimension).

"am i dumbledore? am i fucking tom riddle? well this is shit..." like girl... you've been amongst manipulators for way too long, you have become them -- exactly, exactly, you get it. This is what happens when you get Sorted into the manipulator House, hang out with the Headmanipulator and do an exchange year with Lord Voldemort Junior.

Speaking of, yes, definitely get you friends who will break into Voldemort's headquarters to save you with zero plan. (I'm glad it was obvious the Death Eater chasing them was Barty Crouch since none of the characters mentioned his name). Ruby's going through to say the least (+Dumbledore and his dramatic timing).

Diary!Tom's about 19 right now (since he was 16 in June 1943/April 1993). I was thinking to myself I couldn't remember his exact age a while ago as well and had to check my character wiki. I'm not sure whether it's wilder that he's now older than I was when I started writing this fic or that he's gotten up to so much bullshit in such a short timespan.

Anyway, how Bellatrix and Tom wound up in that situation (along with everything else that happened 'off-screen') will be revealed! (Also Chapter 22 is 95% done but it's definitely coming on time).

[akaakeis]

sav the terriblest thing has happened......... i joined english coaching.............

okay its not that bad the guy was my ninth grade english teacher and hes kind of a w

i also found out my current english teacher is mentally ill and not one of her students got 90+ in english like..

#notmepls

ANYWAYS

this Means that i shall be offline when ur usually first online during the day on sundays tuesdays and thursdays throws up

ive alr been so busy and i was like omg #textingsav and then i realised we probably wont talk today and also the only time we'll talk is

wait omg no school tmr we WILL talk tmr which will be ur today

the way im just. rambling in ur inbox but its ok bc ur u and im me #neverdoingthisanywhereelse

next thing . wait i forgot im remembering

oKAY remembered 👍 ERM i got like a. 68 on my english test and apparently this mentally ill woman marked it wrong and i shouldve gotten an erm. wait calculating. at least an 88 LIKE GIRL WHAT THE FREAKKKKKKKKK

in other news erm why i cried in the last four days list .

i love my sister

i love my friends

english grade

teacher yelled at me

there was no garlic bread at home

i got disconnected from dti

i didnt want to get up and change

the electricity cut off five times and i couldnt play genshin properly

tumblr wasnt loading

86 eighty-six

hashtag periods i love periods

in other news i also love maths like i WAS a maths girl i AM a maths girlie i will always BE a maths girlie it is THE subject of all time and if anyone disagrees then they're wrong (unless it's u because what can i say. i always agree with cute girls🤷‍♀️)

also like i said id tell you about the smau but literally erm. i forgot.. what was supposed to happen.. i have two lines ill dm them to u or something 😭😭😭😭 WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING ELSE AND THEN I FORGOT IT IM GOING TO SOB.

OH YES spilling school tea

our chem teacher used to tutor this one girl and he flirted with her mom at 1am on wahtsapp and facebook and then his wife divorced him😭😭

this one girl's picture got taken. like a norm picture. and then her bf and some people fought over it. like physically. at coaching. LOL INSANE

english physics and chemistry departments of our school are failing everyone is underpaid and leaving

my english teacher is senile but we mentioned that already i think

ANYWAYSSSS UNINTENTIONAL YAP ASK I LITERALLY JUST CAME HERE TO SAY IM MORE BUSY THAN BEFORE LMFAO. look where we are. oh omg im so #scared #excited #terrified for us w/o u part 2 thats flipping SCARY IM SCARED anyways how are u? feel free to yap in the answers if u do answer it and uhhh take care stay safe love u mwa mwa dm me whenever

LINA MY LOVE!! this is gonna be long i fear. oh dear.... ok so english coaching is not fun good luck with that 😕

well at least the guy is cool ‼️

im sorry but lowkey... #wbk about that one i fear!! I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS A LITTLE MENTALLY ILL? IS THAT JUST ME OR

anyway if u dont get 90+ in english send her my way I WILL FIGHT FOR YOUR GRADE SO HARD you deserve a good grade!!! i can tell you've been putting in the effort + im proud of u!!1!!1!1

NOOOOOO WE WONT BE ABLE TO TALK AS MUCH 🙁 lwt me think so today is thursday and youll be on on mondays wednesdays fridays + saturdays as normal presumably? THATS OKAY i usually wake up latw on thursdays because i sleep late and its a whole mess... i was nearly late this morning harhar ANYWAY POINT BEING WE WILL STILL BE ABLE TO TALK TO WE'LL BE GOOD

girl me too <//3 was so locked in on tuesday you should've seen me writing my article for the magazine + writing out the rest of my speech and finalizing ITS SO BUSY RN ICB IT

these timezones are confusinf me hello i am so lost as i read this! 12 hrs apart w you ahead is all ik regarding this

ANYWAY WE WILL FIND TIME AND WE WILL MAKE IT WORK ITLL JUST TAKE A MINUTE FOR ME TO FIGURE IT OUT

its okay i live laugh love for ur asks actually im sitting in my room smiling as i type out this reply to ur ask... inbox yap hour MY FAV

A 68 IS ACTUALLY INSANE GOODBYE how did she screw up the grade so bad 😭 she can catch these fists for that one LIKE HOW DO U GET IT 20% OFF THIS IS NOT A CLEARANCE SALE MISS!!

HELP all of these reasons are equally valid 😞 periods really get me fucked up fr i think im about to get mine too smh

that is SO valid lina math is honestly a good subject 🙂‍↕️ not my fav but i honestly enjoy the class cause it's 1) simple for me 2) my tablemates are so odd to the point of being hilarious and 3) my teacher is gay and we found his grindr profile so i always giggle when i think about that HAHDBDN so math class is just heaps of fun

NOOOO I WAS SO EXCITED TO HESR ABT THE SMAU U NEED TO SEND ME THE TWO LINES U HAVE SOON!!1!!1!1 STOP I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS BUT IT HAPPENS TO ME SO OFTEN ITS AWFUL

ok THE CHEM TEACHER??? wow okay so thats crazy! HIS WIFE DIVORCING HIM TOO PLEASE SO DESERVED everyone point and laugh!!! L man!!!!

HELP WHY WERE THEY EVEN FIGHTING IF IT WAS JUST A NORMAL PICTURE THATS SO WILD?? 😭 like guys its not that deep </3

WHAT. so like is this hyperbole or is literally everyone going to leave bc of being underpaid and whatnot CAUSE THATS SO BAD 

senility✊😞 what a trooper/j

ITS OKAY I ENJOYED READING ALL OF THAT!!!  PLEASE PRIORITIZE ALL YOUR STUDIES THEYRE THE MOST IMPORTANT <3 I HOPE YOU DONT BURN OUT FROM BEING MORE BUSY THAN BEFORE BC I KNOW I DEFINITELY DID WHEN I HAD VOLLEYBALL.. SO TAKE THINGS EASY AND DONT STRESS YOURSELF TOO MUCH PLEASE!!! ILY ILY ILY!! oh okay so us without me pt 2 is probably gonna be BAD BAD cause it will b talking about how he was actually in love w eden since BEFORE he had moved and all that so itll be extra angst talking about before he had moved 😸 basically timeskips briefly showing how he gives you less and less affection as the time he leaves draws near AHAHAH ITS GONNA BE BAD

+ im alright!!! no homework for once in a blue moon so im sitting here relaxing i feel so good rn <3 i have an iced matcha latte and a cake pop I AM LIVE LAUGH LOVING

so i dont have much to yap about at this moment but i just got back from school SOOOO ill yap about that!!

starting off strong i woke up an hour + 15 mins late and had 20 minutes to get ready and eat... i was almost late this morning BUT i have fitness first thing in the morning on my a-days (we work on an a/b schedule!!) and my teacher always comes late to that!! so i had time to dress down and i BOOKED IT to the weight room + made it!! in that class we basically just do weightlifting + my usual partner wasnt there bc she had a golf tournament... so i was with some of my other friends for lifting!! was kinda thriving bc my other partner usually does heavier weights + they did lighter ones SO I WAS REALLY REALLY FAST W MY SETS i was very proud!!

then i went into second period (i have bio) and we were doing a lab where we examined some cells in onions, tomatoes, + the inside of our cheeks (ew) but basically we had to group up and im not rly fond of one of the girls that r in my group cause she doesn't talk much she just squeezes in to look through the microscope so it annoys me 😞 ANYWAY THE LAB WAS LIGHT WORK GOT IT DONE IN 30 MINS and then i had like an hour of free time after that so i asked for a hall pass and i roamed the halls for a bit 😸 after that i have to go to advisory + i was just helping people w math hw and doing some of the nyt games to kill my boredom (oh and drivers ed stuff!!)

at lunch i was just sitting with some of my friends and playing imessage games with them 😭 then we went into the gym and played volleyball for a bit!!

after lunch i had geo and i was taking notes like a madman i fear... dk if ive said this before but like ohhh man everyone makes a point of telling me how small my hand writing is its so annoying 😭 i heard that three times during class today and i was literally done LIKE STOP LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE ‼️

theeeen i had my speech + debate CLASS not to be confused with my club!! i already finished my oratory so i just played games the entire period 😻 lots of fun would recommend!!! i just hate the teacher cause he's always telling me to go back to my seat WHEN IM HELPING HIS STUDENTS CATCH UP ON WORK like ok! sorry for trying to help you fix the mistakes you made when teaching them how to make their speeches! goodness! my bad! anyway hes my opp 😒

AND THATS MY DAY!! anyway take care stay safe i love you!!! MWAHH <3

[iforgotwhaticalledthis]

Imposter by Ratwyfe is THE Sophie Foster song

specifically, its book 1-4 sophie. this song was written for her. And heres my line by line analysis:

“So i finally reached heaven but the door was pretty hot” Sophie finds a place where she should be accepted, where she should finally be accepted but she Isn’t  hence heaven i.e a perfect place, and hot door i.e something is still uncomfortable

“And I’m tired of being liked for someone that i'm not” Sophie being the moonlark, having all these people look up to her, have expectations for her, even though she barely knows who she is

“I feel like I’m a poser” Refer to above “I’m scared and I’m alone, I’m in a new place, I’m too far from home” this is especially sophie like RIGHT when she arrived, she has maybe one person who she actually knows before making three other friends( Dex, jensi, marella) she doesn’t know anything she has to relearn everything and AHHH

“I don’t belong here it's clear to see” She has brown eyes, a constant reminder that she’s not like everyone else.

“I’m disappointing everyone who believes in me” Book 2, knowing that she was modified to heal minds, that's her purpose, but she's broken.

“I’m not who you think i am, you think i’m so amazing” I feel like this is in relation to fitz in book 4, he sees her as someone insanely talented, and good, but she feels like such a messy person, with so many secrets

“I don’t deserve the life that I am chasing” Her thinking she’s not good enough for fitz, and also being constantly worried, in book 3, that by the Vackers being friends with her she's bringing down their reputation

“I’m an imposter, i’m a monster. Why am I here? I don’t belong here.” Being a genetic experiment, not knowing the black swans motives, being so different from  everyone both human and elf.

“I feel like nobody likes me and i keep messing up. ” Book 2, fitz anger at her and her reaction, as well as book 3 after kenric died

“It’s obvious to me that everyone has had enough” councilors giving her the restrictor

“I feel like im a nuisance, im a burden, im a pain” Sophie to everyone after losing her abilities, but also like, in her relationship to Edaline and Grady in the first book, and after losing her abilities.

“And its all my fault, im the one to blame” She read king dimitars mind, she broke the rules. But also her guilt towards Dex being hurt because he was with her when she was kidnapped

“Yeah, do i belong here I just can’t see, I’m disappointing everyone who believed in me” Book 4 after she couldn't heal prentice.

“Why am I here? Why am I here?”  Jumping back in time a bit, Book 1, when she didn't realise why she was brought up with humans

“Why do I wallow here in my pity and self doubt” Honestly i feel like this is kinda self explanatory? Like she doubts herself SO much

“And why do i hurt the people i cant live without”  Literally all of her friends/ anyone associated with her getting injured really badly throughout the series

“I try to change, i try to do better, but i dont know if i can keep it all together” ok so this can apply like generally, but i think specifically how she stopped tugging her eyelashes in book 2 but returned to that habit in book 3 and hasnt stopped since(at least  in my memory, i haven’t read the later books in a bit, thats why im mainly citing the first 4)

“I don’t belong here I just don’t fit, But i’d be worse off if i chose to quit” She may be different in the lost cities, but it's better than being different amongst the humans

“It means so much to me that you think im so amazing” i feel like this line fits mainly with her relationship to calla, Calla admired her, trusted her,  etc “I can hardly deal with all the obstacles im facing” self explanatory. Like. Hello??

And the rest of the song is mainly just lines that ive already dissected/discussed so im not going to past them again.

[gokubrain]

hello!!! so i am the person who asked you about cell arch, and the one who hasn't seen the buu arch,,, well l'm happy to say that that's no longer true! I finally watched it and I have SO MUCH TO SAY ITS CRAZY!!! I don't even know where to start or how to make this comprehensible but l'll try my best, im also really nervous but it's ok:-) this is definitely gonna be very chaotic and i apologise in advance because I don't know how to write so l'lI just be saying everything that comes to mind,,,

SO! let me just start this out by saying that YOU WERE SO RIGHT!!!! this arch literally changed my entire perspective on how I view kakavege and it was so good I watched the whole thing in like 4 days xD, I also needed like a whole week to process everything that happened and go through all my notes to compose all my thoughts xDD but ok, here we go,,,

firstly, I just couldn't believe at first how vegeta was like, actually nicer?? like when they went to the tournament he was actually like hanging out with everyone else? this might seem like not much but to me that was so crazy because up until that point, vegeta would always be standing somewhere in the corner angrily and try not to associate with anyone. but now when goku asked him if he wants to go watch goten and trunks fight he agreed and when trunks wins vegeta puts his hand on gokus shoulder??? since when??? that's was like the first big change I noticed and I just couldn't get over it at all, it just seemed insane that vegeta would suddenly be acting not as aggressively. AND THEN THE FAMOUS SCENE!!! where goku and vegeta just communicate without actually saying any words??? | was just speechless, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I think I was still underestimating just how gay this arch is gonna get.

then vegeta not wanting goku to leave with kaioshin because they were supposed to fight in the tournament??? like him just saying that all he wants to do is fight goku and that that's the only reason he even joined??? man I love that scene so much.

then when they are on babidis spaceship it's just very cute how they both trust each other to be able to defeat the enemies,and then when vegeta gets impatient of waiting for the next opponent to show up, he gets angry and wants to destroy the ship, and then goku grabs his arm and tells him to calm down, then they just look into each other's eyes for a long time and OF COURSE, vegeta calms down,, that was so crazy man,,,

god i don't know if this is a normal way of writing this, like l'm just kinda writing things that I liked in the arch and not an actual review, I don't know what l'm doing really but l'm probably just overthinking xD

ok so now we're getting to the good bit😃

vegeta turns Majin ON PURPOSE??? and he only cares about goku?? And when babidi tries to control him to kill other people he just, refuses??? is vegeta really that gay that even mind powers simply don't work on him????

and the fight itself???? ITS SO UNBELIEVABLY GAY!!!! they hold hands so much man!!! and that one scene where vegeta pins goku to the wall with the rings??? i couldn't believe my eyes xDD

and now here's the thing, l'm not very good at writing so I don't know how to structure this well but I wanna talk about the scene where Vegeta knocks goku out and decides to go fight buu,

in my first attempt of writing this I just straight up described the entire scene and i feel like that's just extremely too long and im just gonna assume that everyone knows that scene and not gonna worry about it anymore,,,

that scene literally made me understand kakavege,,, and it sounds a bit silly but it really did, so here we go

in that scene vegeta literally says that he doesn't care if his family and the entire earth dies, and then, goku says that he doesn't believe him, and that he knows he still has good in his heart and vegeta just looks at him for so long, and I think that's when he finally realised how much of a mistake he had made, like do you know what I mean?? i don't know how to explain this well enough so l'm just gonna say it, when goku and vegeta first fought, goku speared him and gave him a second chance. later in the frieza arch when vegeta is dying he tells goku ever since he was little he always had this one path in life: being evil and killing people, and being with frieza didn't help, he made him what he was, an evil killing machine with no remorse, nobody ever even gave vegeta a chance to be anything else than evil, that's all he knew,,, except for goku, he saw the good in his heart and gave him the opportunity to change and be on a different path, and even now, when vegeta turned majin and is at his lowest, after everything he's done and all the people he has hurt, goku still believes in him and gives him another chance once again, and right in that moment, when he's looking at goku, he realises how much goku has done for him, how he always believed in him when nobody else did, and that's when he decides, he's gonna finally repay goku for all the things he has done for him, that's why he knocked him out, because it's finally time for him to start fighting for other people, not just himself,,,

and so now we have arrived at possibly the gayest scene in all dragon ball: vegetas speech before fighting buu!!! (i was gonna put the whole clip here but apparently you can't do that xD)

first of all, goku WAS someone who would get on your nerves????? I cannot get over this, he's literally admitting he doesn't get annoyed by goku anymore this is crazy, and I just really like the line "after you ended up saving my life, you died on me"🥺 i also can't get over the "have a good, long sleep" line!!! it just sounds so🥺 he's saying like, you've done so much for me, now it's my time to do something selfless for you,,, it's so good man!!!!! i had a mental breakdown the first time I saw that😩😩

BUT THATS NOT ALL!!!

the episode where vegeta dies is called "for those whom he loves, vegeta perishes”, and at the end of the episode when he's about to die he's saying his final goodbye and he says,,, "farewell! bulma,, trunks,„ and you, kakarot!"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME???? so basically what they're telling me is that vegeta is dying for those who he loves and then he lists those people and he includes goku as well!!???! so he just basically confirmed that he loves goku,,, cool😎

god ok I have to say this, I actually cried when vegeta died ×DD I feel so embarrassed to even admit that men!!😩😩 it's the combination of vegeta FINALLY HUGGING TRUNKS!!!, and vegeta literally flinching and looking like he's holding back tears when picolo told him he's not gonna be able to see goku after he dies,,, like I know he's obviously not actually dead for real but still,,, it genuinely made me sob xD i just really fucking liked that whole scene ok??? XDD

OK I THINK THATS ALL FOR NOW!!!

jesus I wrote so much xD in conclusion, thank you so much for encouraging me to watch this arch!!!! if you haven't it would have definitely taken me a lot longer to actually do it and l'm so glad I watched it!!! it genuinely changed my entire perspective on how I view kakavege and it just brought so much joy!!!

also, I already watched fusion reborn and,,, I HAVE EVEN MORE TO SAY ABOUT THAT THEN THIS!!!!!! i literally could analyse every second of screen time that vegeta and goku get together in great detail, so because of that l'm not going to do it here and maybe write another one of these just about the movie.

and if it wasn't clear, EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH THE BUU ARCH IF THEY HAVEN'T ALREADY!!!!!💜

theres a lot here to process and respond to (not complaining i love dbz i love hearing & talking about it i just have adhd) so i’m just gonna touch on a few things u said :3

for starters, i wanted to talk about this thing u said:

“[…] when vegeta turned majin and is at his lowest, after everything he's done and all the people he has hurt, goku still believes in him and gives him another chance once again, and right in that moment, when he's looking at goku, he realises how much goku has done for him, how he always believed in him when nobody else did […]”

this is it man you GET IT. you have figured out exactly what kakavege is at its very core. this concept is the foundation of this ship.. goku has always seen good within vegeta. thats it, at its simplest explanation, that IS kakavege.

it takes so long for vegeta to grasp this, for him to understand that goku sees within him something worth salvaging, because literally no one has ever had that sort of faith in vegeta before. there is nothing quite like being certain you are damned and evil and unsaveable only to have the most amazing and kind person alive believe you are good. its something vegeta doesn’t even deserve frankly, after everything he’s done not only in general but everything he’s done to goku as well…

and of course he knows that, that’s the point of his sacrifice vs. buu… definitely during the fight with goku he realizes he needs to do something to atone, and though dying did absolutely nothing (so fitting with his theme btw), he still felt as though he had to do this as a sorry to goku, even going so far as to namedrop goku in his final words before dying. idk idk i feel pretty normal about it i think

also , no scene will ever top the you are number one speech for me. ever. ever ever ever. its PEAK its peak dbz its peak kakavege its peak anime. it fuckin rules.

to me its the moment vegeta realized his feelings for goku, how all this time he shouldve been adoring him and admiring his strength instead of lamenting him and dedicating his life & fighting career to ending him … aahgg

TL;DR: buu arc kakavege <3

[salvation-brought]

Introduction.

--

Salutations, mortals & those of you who are something else. I am Illumina, leader of the SFOTH, & your savior.

--

Hello!! @kai-sillyman back at it again (im going insane), so let's get this sorted over.

Basic info!

Illumina is a transfem demigirl, they go by they/she pronouns. They don't like being referred to or called by any masculine terms either (even stuff like bro), so keep that in mind when you're trying to not piss them off lol.

Ghostwalker is also on this blog!! He goes by he/they pronouns, he's transmasc.

If you've seen any of my other phighting roleplay blogs or seen any of my phighting related content, you know how horrible Illumina is. Just look at poor Darkheart.

Illumina is not the only one that will make an appearance on this blog! Ghostwalker will sometimes show up, & sometimes Illumina will 'invite' their alter ego- aka switch over to 'iida'atan. They will each have their own tags.

!Trigger warning!

This blog contains religious themes & mentions of cults. Illumina has a whole alter ego 'mask', which is the god the COTTE worships ('iida'atan).

They literally brainwash people. Not just in like the way they do in their cult, like they will physically brainwash people & turn them into mindless zombies, for example- Follower Sword. They will try this on some people but it's not an instant thing. It's a disgusting process.

They're HORRIBLE. They use & gaslight basically everyone, & they have so much power & say its scary. If you're a SFOTH member rp blog, expect to be gaslit & bossed around by them.

There will be mentions of violence & death- also a fair amount of blood & gore. Illumina is so petty they're willing to get violent & kill people if it means they get what they want.

Ghostwalker is....let's just say he's not okay in the slightest. (pspspspps Clover cmere we can talk about the scientist society finally) He's a mutilated husk of a man that's been turned into a wind up doll & now Illumina is using him. Hes unokay

Rules!

No NSFW & weird shit....basic DNIs too. Just stay safe & have fun!!

M!A anons are allowed- but sometimes Illumina will just decide not to & simply block the magic attack/spell.

Characters

if a character's name is crossed out, it means they're not available for asks

Illumina // available for asks!

Ghostwalker // available for asks!

'iida'atan // available for asks!

// CURRENT EVENT- none \\

[marzipanlvr]

hiii it’s elle again, i didnt say enough in my previous inbox hehe

I just genuinely want to say thank you so much for your support, it means the world to me. You’re genuinely so sweet, and i love our interactions so much 💗 i just wanted you to know how much you make this community better, on behalf of all Lu writers!!

lots of love,

elle

ELLE? OMG ELLE? ELLE? THE ELLE? AHHHHHHHHH OKOK IM GONNA CALM DOWN I FEAR IM GONNA SPIT OUT WORD VOMIT AHH !! hii hi!! how are you doing today my love!! i hope the world has been treating you with sunshine and lollipops all the way :)) omg..not one but two message in my inbox im acc going to cry.. im gonna response in one post if that's okay with you my heart!!

message 1: ily you're so sweet <3 keep being such a genuine and kind person Marzi

omg if u were to witness how HAPPY i was when i received this?? from one of my FAVORITE writers?? OMG?? and no i counter that claim. i love YOU i love your mind your soul your EVERYTHING. i look up to you so much !!! thank you oh my god?! thank you thank you thank you!! i appreciate those kind words my love :(( i dont know how you do it but you brighten my day with every word you say ughhh <33 your soul is beautiful i dont know what else to say but thank you :(( thank you for choosing to put yourself out there i mean this is no exaggeration when i say that you really motivated me to post more on tumblr, interact as anon, or whatsoever!! and ive gotten so much more happier because of it and because of the community, ur beautiful blog, and ur substantial interactions with EVERYONE!! <33

message 2

elle :(( you made me so happy today and happiness can never be bought and the weird thing is once you receive it u feel like ur suddenly infinite and that's how u already made me feel !! and once again i COUNTER THAT CLAIM whatever you do in your blog or what you say is MORE than enough and i am completely just honored to witness it my love!! i respect you so much as a person and for what you do!! i really hope that my support does make you feel seen and put a smile on your face because that's always what happens to me when i see brooklynnbbg posted omg..!! elle, you're really the reason why a lot of people choose to move and act instead of rotting in bed all day you're blog and this whole community is so amazing to be apart of and it's so insane how your talent and person is mind-blowing to the point it inspires and moves COUNTLESS of people!! thank you elle my love :(( please continue to BREATHE OMG and continue to be your authentic self !! and so, i redirect everything you've said to me because girl you're literally just describing yourself. hello??? how much you contribute to this community is AMAZING and your work is ground breaking :)) i believe your impact is truly something that wont be missed!! even outside the world of fanfiction and luigi fantasies hehe

all of my love right now is absolutely BURSTING so i really hope you feel it my love :(( thank you for being endlessly sweet and open-minded!! you truly are someone worth living for i really hope you have an amazing day!! please be sure to stay safe at all times and put yourself first!! i love you elle SO MUCH!! sending so much love (if it wasnt obvious..:))

[tothepointofinsanity]

the new pmmm movie trailer has brought back my Brainrot for the show so ive been re-exploring the pmmm corner of tumblr and

oh my god???? oh my fucking god???? oh holy shit???? oh my goodness gracious your art is so pretty??????? hello???????????

the way you draw sayaka is just fhfhfhfhhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhfhhfhf. yk? the english language does not have the words to articulate how much i love you art and the style of your art. i am going insane. i am losing my mind. every piece you've made featuring sayaka just captures her essence so well and it makes me feral.

sayaka's not my main favorite of the show (sorry sayaka, you rock but kyoko is just too cool with her Christian Guilt) she's a very close second and it makes me so happy to see an artist who just understands her character so well. she's a foolish girl blind to her own fate, desperate to do something special and be someone worthwhile but she's ultimately just a footnote in the grand plan of the universe, she wants to be just and righteous and kind so badly but she's too wrapped up in her own despair to truly be selfless, she can be selfish and callous but that's just because she's human, a human who realized her existence is ultimately an exercise in futility and that fact burns and it hurts so she does whatever she can to make the pain go away but it never does because she's just A Normal, Flawed Girl and that hurts so goddamn much-

i have so many Thoughts about sayaka. she makes me insane on a daily basis and your art just feels like it captures all the screeching in my brain and puts it in the form of some beautiful images. they're so great. you're doing great.

Ah, thank you for the kind words [♡] I appreciate the time you had taken out to write and send this long scroll of a compliment.

I have been told by others that the way I depict Sayaka is "so real" and that it captures her essence most of the time, even though I am not sure what particular elements about her that people in the audience like unless specified. I suppose, personally, whenever I am drawing her, I have to enter her shoes of not just "the frustration of a lovesick teenage girl", "my perceived sense of justice was flawed", but also to accept that resignation is a highlight of her character. A young girl who believes she is unloved despite her desire to do everything Right. A mermaid who cannot swim - futility and uselessness contribute to why Sayaka is a realistic and compelling person to a lot of people watching the show. Whenever I draw her, my brain paints a sketch of her sadness before anything else. The despair of "no matter what I do, this is the outcome" is true to the canon of Sayaka turning into a Witch in every timeline she tries to accomplish this Goodness by being a magical girl, reflecting the reality at large the helplessness girls in general experience on a daily basis.

It is why I find people who hate Sayaka to be...strange, since their prescribed reasons for dislike are mainly how "foolish" her wish and outlook in life was, and how she became irritating to those around her as though Sayaka isn't literally a paragon of not just deteriorating mental health, but to me, people with personality disorders as well, given that there is always a "sense" that the inevitable ending involves everyone actively avoiding you and you will eventually just...fade away into non-existence; a bad memory that no one wants to speak about. It makes me sad. Sayaka is sick, and everyone can smell the rot of magic off her.

Everytime I draw her, I want to capture, perhaps, this exact feeling of resigning to this disease. I don't want to always make the drawings beautiful since her struggles are ugly and difficult and tiresome, and shouldn't be trivialised as a result. She's always trying her best to regain control of her own life, thus being so unmatched in terms of how relatable she is to a lot of people.

I am glad that someone appreciates my works, even if they aren't always consistently quality. •́ ‿ ,•̀

[disgruntled-screaming]

I Wanna Talk About My YuGiOh Project

Hey, hi, hello again! Instead of something Voltron related, I wanted to try and talk about something different. Going to put a read break, since this is going to be a very long post. I have no idea if there's a character limit, but I'll find out today with this post.

Fates Converge is my YuGiOh project that has been in production stages since 2011. Yes. Over ten years. I have a problem. During that time, I never learned how to make comics, but I've been studying.

The amount of research I have done for this project on various topics is insane. INCLUDING Ancient Egypt. The amount of fans that have unknowingly helped me is INSANE. YuGiOh fans with a passion for Ancient History are my saviors.

For those interested, Fates Converge is a canon compliant, possibly canon divergent, story that involves ocs and canon characters interacting. There's me, back on my bullshit again. If there's a story for a fandom I'm working on, there will be OCs involved. I am sorry.

Unlike my typical projects, however, there will be some other ships involved. Romance is not the main plot, but it is a subplot that more acts in the background. Basically if a scene happens to have romantic chemistry, only the characters involved will think about it. I wanted to try my hand at a slow burn-esque story. The pairings that I know will be 100% involved are the following: Peachshipping, YamiYugi/AtemxKutso (OC), JoeyxKatsu (OC), RyouxShanna (Friend's OC). I don't want them to be paired off once the ending comes, I still shiver at the end of Digimon 02 (why did it end like that). Hell, one pairing will literally be official in the middle of the plot. I shit you not.

I do GENUINELY want to explore the interpersonal relationships between the characters. I will jump DEEP into headcanon territory with this one, since I do love these characters deeply. As much as YuGiOh is about card games, which wasn't the original intention when you read the start of the manga, I pay more attention to the characters since it's them that got me to stay with the show. I will try my absolute hardest to implement the card game into the story. I have been working on a few plots that involve the Duel Monsters game and it's honestly hard since I'm more of a character writer above all else. For some reason, my mind wants two OCs to have some sort of connection to the God Cards just how Yugi has a connection to Ra. That's still in the planning stages.

I will warn everyone that this project is also going to be a bit dark compared to other stuff I make. I know I'm not very well known on this platform, but I assure you if you find some of my friends they will vouch that my work is not as dark as this piece of work. This project will involve some topics that will be very triggering, and I have a lot of sources of these topics. Some also are from my experiences, which are not fun. That being said, I will not be graphic with the depictions of certain topics. I already thought of a way to tell a traumatizing core memory of a certain character without any details needed.

There's an idea I have of fixing up the DOMA arc. As beloved as this arc is, I can't in good faith say that it was well written. I have some ideas floating around, but like with my Voltron fic, I'm still planning chapter 1. That will be a topic of discussion when we get there.

That's basically all I have to say at the moment, maybe I'll do a little journalling series for this project. Only time will tell. Stay safe everyone!