#hellish!
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every sw and esthetician I know always talks about how people’s general hygiene has gotten so much worse since the height of the pandemic and quarantine and it makes me think about how most people clean and maintain themselves just enough to not be offensively smelly or look bad
#like women with 5k purses coming in for a wax and without showering for the past week#nasty work#I’ll be a two a day shower/bath person until I die#I also think a part of it is the way people dehumanize service workers#you think the person you’re interacting with is below so you don’t care that you smell like rot and decay#hellish!
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Sometimes you make weird associations that you can’t get out of.
For example, when I start an art and craft project, I feel compelled to listen to Sawbones.
That sometimes bites me in the butt because I have my hands full of glue and my body full of itching from listening to Sidney describes some kind of parasite
#sawbones#podcast#Sidney McElroy#rambles#listened to an episode about lice and I was not able to scratch anywhere#hellish!
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you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.
but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.
i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.
so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.
you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."
i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"
"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.
i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.
and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.
you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."
"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."
you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.
i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"
"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."
"do i die?"
you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."
"oh."
"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."
i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.
i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.
"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."
i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.
you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."
"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.
you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."
"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.
i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."
you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."
"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."
"you could always die, to be fair."
i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"
"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."
i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."
"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."
i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"
"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."
i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"
i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.
"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."
you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.
you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.
i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.
#warm up#prose#i just realized that there's a horror film in there about being someone NOT in a loop.#if i wanted to make it longer i'd have them come back like SUPER battered and hellish.#on round like 999#like halfway through lunch like - YOU . I LOVE U . IM SORRY . I RUINED IT BC I LOVE U CANT U SEE THAT#but like. yeah man what happens when someone else in control of ur destiny#what happens to all the versions of u that DO die...#i also wanted a pre-redemption time looper - this person#(who in my brain is they/them)#is absolutelyyyyyy toying with the narrator bc the time looper is caught up in like#an emo angsty '' i can't have what i want bc i ruin things'' self harm spiral#and like literally the way out of that spiral is to TRY bud.#but this is a person pre-redemption. still kind of an ass. still not really listening to her#still a little bit ignoring that they kissed someone 3 days ago#still KNOWS she likes them and DOES like her back. but is just too chickenshit still.#we're talkin that person we've ALL dated that's like ''i can't be with u anymore bc i am Too Broken and I Can't Stand Hurting U"#... i imagine they grow up tho. eventually.
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Hellish Maggot
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Trying to learn Blender 😭 made a thing (the bg music is forever by the little dippers)
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Slovak traditional highland axe dance
EDIT: If you'd like to play a character like these guys in a video game, check out Hellish Quart.
#slovak#slovakia#folk#folklore#traditional#dance#dancing#axe#axes#odzemok#slavic#culture#central europe#highland#tatra mountains#yendrek#hellish quart
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👊‼️‼️
#i loooove drawing otasune when they’re being shitheads to each other its always the best flavour of partnerships yayyyy#so sad they dont include snake laughing at otacon when you call him from inside a locker in mgs2 and they talk about how they first met#im drawing. somewhat i swear ive just had a hellish trip and im tired all the time so i dont feel like colouring anything ever#i would dump sketches but hhhhh idk if yall would want that#but whatever#otasune love forever#say it with me now:#partners (affectionately derogatory)#solid snake#snavid#otacon#hal emmerich#mgs#metal gear solid#ok bye
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“apollo wrote the hamilton musical in pjo” “hermes wrote the hamilton musical in pjo” you fools. ¿have you forgotten who the greek god of theatre is?
#fun fact in ancient times at the festival of dionysus they’d hold competitions judging various features plays against each other#anyways my headcanon is that he made it before getting banished and hermes and apollo found it after he left#though it would be hilarious if it was some hellish coproduction where the three of them teamed up#probably ruined a few lives in the process#pjo#pjo series#pjo tv show#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#apollo#apollo pjo#hermes#hermes pjo#dionysus#mister d#dionysus pjo#lin manuel miranda#hamilton musical#hamilton
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more of these bc i love drawing stupid things
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#alphinaud leveilleur#alisae leveilleur#y'shtola rhul#urianger augurelt#thancred waters#krile mayer baldesion#g'raha tia#estinien varlineau#estinien wyrmblood#edmont de fortemps#endwalker spoilers#my life's purpose is to draw silly images of my favorite characters#i deliberately didn't draw hw estinien bc that dragoon armor is somehow even more hellish to draw than his current one#my art#fanart
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"Hellish harmony"
Acrylic painting on canvas
Size 30x25 cm
#vaxo lang#creepy art#contemporary art#contemporary artist#acrylic painting#creepy#horror art#vaxolang#dark art#hellish harmony#hell#harmony#red#macabre art#dark surreal art#abstract art
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“Don’t they have rain on Kamino, Cody?”
“Don’t they have sunsets at your Jetii palace, sir?”
The General snorted gracelessly. “No one would ever believe the cheek on you. You’ve hoodwinked every ally I have.”
Cody grinned behind his helmet, all sharp teeth and satisfaction. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, sir.”
#fan art#artists on tumblr#star wars fanart#star wars: the clone wars#commander cody#quiet moments#Vibes are that scene in V for Vendetta where she’s on the roof after going through hellish torture#coday#cody day 2224
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(/lh) So mad that so many people will forever associate me with the colour green. I don't even like green!
#rambling#green is just a really good base canvas colour!#and now anytime one of two specific shades of green are used anywhere#multiple people immediately think of me#hellish!#my favourite colour is wine red. the sexiest colour. associate me with THAT instead. please and thank you.
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I don't know if anyone is the same but I look forward to new Prime apprentice garment every time
#apprentice au#despite looking simple designing them is hellish#some have too many motifs some have NONE#bruh
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Shoto Todoroki; rising.
I think my art hiatus might be coming to an end. I hope so.
#mha#shoto todoroki#the hellish todoroki family#bnha#shouto todoroki#bnha fanart#mha fanart#mha art#bnha art#mha shoto#shoto fanart#my art#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha spoilers#mha season 7
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captain & nurse
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#intern daisuke#🛎on queue.#two broken people who depend on the other to survive their hellish circumstances#two people who do care about each other but failed each other#my mouthwashing era may be one of my biggest flops but in all honesty I’m having too much fun#my obsession must run its course#2024#fan art#⚠️warning tags:#mouthwashing spoilers#blood#injury#implied suicide#gore#mutilation
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