#hell she even had an incredibly odd relationship with gender

[balis77]

Its just now occurring to me like, 15 years too late, but OG Bakugan really had an amazing dynamic set up in the form of "Nicest girl on the show who is partnered with the bloodthirsty murder hydra dragon" only to never fucking do anything with it.

[nereidprinc3ss]

hi girlie. thoughts on spencer’s bisexuality? specially post-prison spence. would he be more willing to experiment or just keep being the same guy who doesn’t care at all? just thinking. plus thoughts on austin? we didn’t got to see much about it. honestly i think both of them would have gone harder than with maeve, to be honest. i did not got much of the vibe from maeve and spencer and it felt like quiet new and weird coming from him? we’ve seen him interacting more before with these super confident girls like lila and cat. to me, it looks like these are more his type, pretty odd for a introvert guy like him.

babe thoughts on spencers bisexuality are all i have

but i also have thoughts on all his girlfriends actually

spoilers for maeve, cat, trigger warning season 14 episode 15 “truth or dare” mentioned😓😓 that fuck ass episode

i think post prison spencer is too traumatized and too exhausted to be thinking about romance or sex for a good long while. if he was already in a committed relationship before he went in, i think he’d stay because he’s incredibly devoted and i feel like he tends to latch on to one individual as his person and then never let them go, but if he wasn’t, i don’t think he’d be pursuing anyone, period, boys girls anyone in between or outside, i think bro is just TIRED lmfao

but specifically speaking about his relationship w his own bisexuality, i think if it wasn’t something he was super comfortable with before prison it sure as hell won’t be something he decides to confront after prison. i think he would just ignore it and continue on with life in his own little world ignoring other human beings. i think if he was chill with his sexuality before he went to prison that wouldn’t change afterward other than the fact that he’d probably find himself less attracted to men because they scare him a lot more now. i don’t think he would suddenly start having a ton of internalized homophobia (although he has so much self loathing it could definitely present that way) but again i don’t think he would be interested in seeking out new romantic or sexual partners for a while regardless of gender

and i liked austin a lot!!! potentially controversial opinion but i did NOT like maeve for him. she was clearly designed to be spencer but a girl so we would be like omggg she’s so perfect for him and then we would be extra sad when she died but imo their relationship fell flat, lacked passion or believability, and simply wasn’t interesting to me. the way he spoke about her reminded me of the way a 13 year old speaks about his girlfriend after a month of dating when he thinks they’re going to get married.

i have always FIRMLY believed that he had more chemistry with almost ANY of his love interests, even austin and the einstein chick who were around for ONE EPISODE EACH than he did with maeve. spencer seemed more interested and challenged by literally every single one of them. and i think he needs someone who challenges him. like spencer understands everything, give him someone who he can’t figure out and who drives him insane and is endlessly compelling and confusing elle greenaway!! we saw the way he wanted to genuinely consume lilah and cat. both more interesting than maeve. maeve was giving like… older sister almost?? like that woman had a FIANCÉ and according to canon she was his first “girlfriend” (strong word for what she was… those bitches were e-dating at best) it was just bizarre in the same way it was bizarre for a woman who had been married for ten years with two children to declare her love for him. i genuinely can see him with an older woman elle greenaway but the dynamic was just off with jj and maeve.

so that’s my rant on them. i could go on forever

[practically-an-x-man]

I don't know any of your OC relationships so you can choose which ones to ramble about, but for the OC relationship asks:

2, 4, 9, 10, 12, 15

Ooooh thank you!!! I think I'll answer for Quinn, and maybe also Jimmy, since they're both fun OCs to talk about

Annual Amorous Asks

2. Does your OC remember their first crush? Would they ever admit to it now?

Quinn: She doesn't remember the specifics, but she remembers feeling odd about the crushes she had on girls when she was in school (because most of them were unrecognized gender envy rather than romantic crushes)

Jimmy: He remembers it painfully vividly - he'd come home from school, around age 8 or 9 (so this was ~1890/91) and asked his parents innocently if two boys could get married like boys and girls could, and instead his father gripped his arm tightly enough to leave bruises and told him never to mention that to anyone other than his parents. He never mentioned it again - his parents probably fell on the less-homophobic side for the time period and wouldn't have hurt him or cast him out for being gay, but their protectiveness was intense enough to be a little frightening all the same.

4. Is there someone your OC has met who they would find physically attractive, if only their personality were not so repulsive? (Or that they find attractive and really wish they didn't...)

Quinn: For a good chunk of her adult life, Billy has been the only person she was seriously attracted to or interested in. I suppose in an objective way, she would find One attractive (I mean, Ryan Reynolds...), but he's such a prick that she's never really been anything but annoyed by him.

Jimmy: Hm... not really? He's still a little repressed, and while ghosthood has made him a bit more confident and outgoing (it's hard to be afraid when nobody can hurt or kill you anymore), he's still cautious when it comes to attraction and romance. And besides, he'll take intellect and chivalry over handsome features any day.

9. What setting would they consider the most romantic to spend time with a partner? A beach at sunset? A private box at the theatre? An opulent ballroom? A private garden? Or something else entirely?

Quinn: Anything that allows her and Billy to be alone together. Being a part of the Ghosts is great, but it's also chaotic as hell, and most of their chances to be alone end up interrupted by one of the other Ghosts. Get them a hotel room somewhere, just the two of them with no chance to be interrupted, and that's the most romantic thing they could ask for.

Jimmy: He finds old-fashioned chivalry incredibly romantic, especially now that it's less common in the modern world. A candlelit dinner, a night at the theatre, even something as clichéd as a horse-drawn carriage ride. It's less about the experience and more about his partner's attitude, but he won't deny that he fantasizes about being treated to a rom-drama-level romance.

10. Has your OC ever experienced unrequited love? What is their relationship with that person now?

Quinn: It was more not-actually-unrequited love, as she found out, but for a long time she thought it was unrequited - she was in love with Billy for years while they were in the old parkour crew together, but he was together with someone else at that point and didn't seem interested in her (though from his perspective, it took him a little longer but he fell just as hard). Now, they're romantic partners and deeply in love

Jimmy: Plenty of times! Being a gay man in the early 20th century isn't exactly a recipe for successful romances, and he's had many more unrequited and unspoken loves than he has reciprocated ones.

12. What was the worst advice your OC has ever received on the subject of love and relationships?

Quinn: A lot of people have told her that she's too "intense" for romance and that she'd have a lot better luck with romance if she "dropped the whole punk thing" or even detransitioned because it was "too complicated for people to be interested in". Obviously that's total bullshit and her current partner is head over fucking heels for her and everything she is, but it caused her a lot of insecurity in the past.

Jimmy: He didn't have much bad advice, because he didn't talk about romance enough to warrant any advice to be tossed his way. To say he kept to himself would be an understatement, at least until he became a ghost.

15. Would your OC be happy to be given flowers by an admirer or partner? What would be their favourite to receive?

Quinn: Absolutely!! She would MELT if someone gave her flowers!! As a whole, she's not really used to being the receiver of gifts or occupying a traditionally "feminine" role in a relationship, so receiving flowers or other gifts would be the most special thing to her (now I'm imagining Billy giving her flowers for the first time and it's a really cute image...). However, she is still super punk, so something like Queen of Night tulips would probably be a good bet for her.

Jimmy: I feel like it depends a bit on the circumstance. A public delivery in front of a lot of other people? He's liable to get a little squirrelly and uncomfortable, since he's accustomed to keeping things very private. (Again, he's more confident as a ghost, but that confidence can break when it comes to surprises) But a one-on-one gift, alone at home or perhaps among a few trusted friends? He'd be incredibly flattered! Thankfully Lars tends to be more of a private person as well, so it's never really an issue. As for what sort of flowers, I don't really have anything specific in mind, I think he'd be flattered regardless.

[buck-yyyy]

why are queer characters so important in modern media?

right guys, sit down and buckle your seatbelts, because i'm about to explain why so many of us feel so strongly about characters being not straight or cis- particularly talking about stranger things, because that's what i'm the most into right now, so it'll be the easiest for me to talk about.

i know that this isn't the best platform to talk about this on, because so many people here are queer, but i've seen too much blatant homophobia surrounding will/byler from stranger things, and i'm fucking sick of it. so i'm writing this.

so the biggest question i've seen recently amidst all the byler stuff (that was also a big thing when season three came out, and robin had her coming-out scene with steve) is why did the show need gay characters? it was fine, why did they need to make it all "woke"?

growing up queer is fucking hard. i'm incredibly lucky to have been surrounded by supportive parents and friends, but so many people do not have that resource. there are so many queer kids out there who don't have anyone around them that's accepting, and seeing a queer character in their favorite show can COMPLETELY change their perspective. hell, i'm in a good situation in terms of my sexuality and the people around me, and yet seeing well-represented queer characters in movies and tv is still so huge to me, because i’ve struggled with accepting my identity for so long.

will byers as a character is so incredibly important to me because he is so much like me. i've been in (and in some aspects still am in) a lot of the same situations that he has, in terms of relationships and friend groups and growing up. that scene in season three, where he gets upset about mike and lucas not wanting to play d&d, and after arguing with mike (it's not my fault you don't like girls), he goes to destroy castle byers? that's one of the only times i've ever cried watching a tv show, because i've been there, and i still am there. growing up queer is fucking isolating. even with other gay friends, our experiences are nowhere near the same, and it doesn't make it any easier to see everyone else around you growing up and getting into straight relationships so easily when you're sitting there panicked about whether that one girl you like would be weirded out by you liking her, because what if she's straight and suddenly your whole friendship is ruined.

as a young queer person, good representation is so important to me. i’ve been queerbaited too many times because i just wanted to be seen (i’m looking at you voltron), because i wanted to be reassured that my future wasn’t hopeless solely because i was a girl who liked girls- and again, im in a good environment for queerness. i live somewhere where i could hold a girls hand in public with only a few odd looks, my friends and immediate family are supportive, and everyone around me is aware of my identity- so think about all the people who don’t have everything that i’m so lucky to have. so many queer kids grow up in places where they can’t be open about their sexuality or gender, where there’s no one like them for miles.

being able to see queer people in good, healthy relationships is life changing to queer kids who grow up feeling isolated and alone because of who they are.

specifically about stranger things, as well: it’s not a show like heartstopper, where you’re guaranteed to get queer characters because that’s what the show is about. stranger things isn’t about romance, queer or straight- it’s about kids fighting monsters from another dimension. making a main character canonically gay is fucking HUGE, because it solidifies queerness as something that doesn’t need to be advertised as the driving point behind a show, making it different than any other old romance show. they’re fighting monsters, and hey- that one kid with the dorky haircut happens to be gay!

it would be a huge win for our community. so. what are we not going to do? we’re NOT going to act like queer characters are only added so that a show can seem ‘woke’, because queer people are NOT a tool to ‘win you points with the liberals’. we are here, existing, just like everyone else.

we deserve to be able to see ourselves in the media we consume.

fuck anyone who says otherwise.

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

shiver, m | myg

pairing(s): yoongi x reader mentions of jimin x reader, namjoon x reader

summary: Kim Namjoon and Park Jimin set you up after vain attempts to cure your, what they call, chronic high-strung workaholic tendencies. Bleh. As if a date with Min Yoongi is going to help the situation. You aren't going on this date and, even if you did, you wouldn't take him home and fuck him all night. Or admit he was giving you that shiver.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, slight crack (you tweezed a hair off Jimin's dick); mentions of previous partners and implied smut; smut (fem reader, mild bondage, f-receiving oral, lil bit of a praise kink, doggy); non-idol!AU - music producer!Yoongi x pansexual, softdom!reader, ft best friend and ex-bf!Namjoon, (maybe too) close friend!Jimin, friend!Taehyung

--

“Look, I like dick, okay? The gender attached to it doesn’t bother me. A dick’s a dick and if you want to put it in me, I’m down, and if you don’t and wanna do other stuff, that’s cool too, I’m just letting you know I like dick–”

“Who are you talking to?”

You exploded, rocketing your desk chair backwards, nearly dropping your phone, gawking at the tall, dark, handsome man with the baritone voice standing in your bedroom door, blinking at you slowly with his brown doe eyes and long lashes, black-brown curls framing his tanned cheekbones and strong brows.

“T-Taehyung?!”

Kim Taehyung raised a sculpted eyebrow. “Why were you practicing a speech about dick?”

You clutched your phone, flapping your jaw loosely, pointing to it, to him, to yourself, rambling nonsense.

“There’s this app and I was writing a message to someone and they were worried about – but I wasn’t sure if it sounded right – and what, why are you here…?”

He raised the other eyebrow. “I want to talk to Jimin about something. He said he was going to stop by later so he gave me your key.” He raised his hand and, there it was, your house key. “Said it was fine if I just walked in.”

Park Jimin… said it was fine… to walk into your apartment? Without asking you first.

Who raised this child?!

To be fair, it was fine. You weren’t upset at Taehyung specifically. You didn’t know him as well as Jimin, who was one of your closest friends, but he was Jimin’s best friend. You trusted Jimin’s choice in friends, but, jeez, he really was lackadaisical when it came down to your personal space. He acted like it didn’t exist.

“Ah… okay,” you said, clearing your throat and placing your phone, screen down, on your desk.

“Why is Jimin hanging out here? You guys dating?” Taehyung asked off-handedly.

You nearly choked on air.

“No, we are not,” you snorted, walking up to him. He looked nice. Taehyung always did. He was casually sexy in his green sweater and dark gray pants. He was the kind of guy who could wear anything and look great simply because he walked around with such calm confidence. “I don’t know exactly; he said we should hang out and watch movies because I’m, how did he put it, a chronic high-strung workaholic who needs divine intervention.”

Taehyung nodded, pursing his lips. “True.”

“Excuse me?” you snapped.

He ignored your outburst. “I suppose he considers himself the divine intervention?”

“Uh, well, yeah, I guess, I didn’t think of it like that–”

“You’ve never thought about his dick?”

You blinked rapidly. “What.”

Taehyung shrugged. “I mean, you guys hang out a lot. And you like dick,” he added, gesturing to your phone, to which you abruptly jerked to stand in front of it so it was no longer in his vision. “You might want to consider seeing his dick.”

“I’ve seen his dick.”

Now it was Taehyung’s turn to blink rapidly. “What.”

You raised your hands in innocence. “He had a hair on his dick.”

“… What.”

You scratched the back of your head. “Well, he had a hair growing on the underside of his dick and he couldn’t get to it so he asked me to help, but you can’t exactly pluck a hair when the dick is limp so I helped him get hard and then I tweezed it off and he was very upset, even though he was the one who asked me to do it so I don’t know why he was so sobby about it, but I ended up putting it in my–”

Taehyung was staring at you, slack-jawed.

You stopped speaking, realizing what you were saying.

Your front door opened.

“Hey, Taehyung! Thanks for leaving the door open for me. Where are you guys? Oh, there you are. What are you guys doing?”

You both turned to look at the cheerful, oblivious face of Park Jimin, his previously blond hair freshly dyed black. He must have been at a hair appointment running late. He sent you both a big, beaming smile.

“Eh?”

-

"I need you to do something."

"What?"

Once again, someone needing you to do something. Who would have guessed? Just an endless cycle of people asking you to do things. When is someone ever going to ask you what you want to do? Hm?

Hmph.

He shoved another spoonful of red bean ice cream in your mouth and you continued listening because of it.

"I need you to sleep with Min Yoongi."

You choked and had a mild brainfreeze.

"Just kidding, I only need you to go on a date with him."

Not much better.

You gawked at Park Jimin, who continued calmly scooping out another spoonful of ice cream to feed you. As if this was normal behavior. You missed the blond hair on him. Blond-haired Jimin didn't suggest this kind of random bullshit. Black-haired Jimin was evil. His hair was full of secrets.

You know, that kind of person.

Jimin lifted the spoon and opened his plump lips as if he was instructing a child how to eat. You gave him an indignant scowl and he shoved the spoon in the crack of your open lips. That got him a disgruntled tut.

"Jimin, I'm not library book, you can’t let your friends borrow me when they need to look taken."

He rolled his eyes, all the sass and lacking in class. "That was one time, and you know Taehyungie's ex was a persistent bitch."

"Yeah, I had to slap her, remember?"

Jimin's hair has been black then too, when he asked you to help him. Mmmhmm. Help.

"She deserved that slap!"

"But why did I have to do it?" you grumbled. "You can slap a ho. You don't need me."

"I shouldn't hit a girl no matter how much of a lying, cheating scumbag she is," Jimin puffed, angrily jabbing at the ice cream and shoving it into your mouth. You glared at him. Why was he taking it out on you? He was lucky you loved this brand, otherwise he'd be getting slapped right now.

"Oh, but I should, okay, cool."

"You'd slap anything and call it your bitch."

You were about to retort but then you lowered your hand, frowning. "Okay, true, but that doesn't explain why you're pawning me off to Yoongi now."

"Because you need it."

And you snapped your head around to see Kim Namjoon, your ex-boyfriend, now best friend, waltz into your bedroom like he owned the damn place. You did, in fact, give him your key and you were expecting him, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise, but you complained anyway, because that’s what humans do. Complain.

"Is nothing sacred in my home?" you muttered as Namjoon grabbed your desk chair and rolled it over to the bed, sitting down in front of you and Jimin. You were wearing black pajamas with little cats on them and Jimin was wearing the yellow ones with little dogs on them. Button-up shirt and long pants. Same brand and style, different print. Namjoon, however, was wearing a white graphic t-shirt and loose brown trousers with thin tortoise-shell and gold framed glasses that didn't have any lenses in them.

You were very tempted to poke him in the eye but, alas, you had some self-restraint.

"I thought you were going to talk about this last night," Namjoon mused, raising an eyebrow at Jimin.

Jimin suddenly seemed incredibly interested in getting the perfect spoonful of ice cream. "I got distracted."

"Horny. He means he got horny."

A violently large chunk of red bean ice cream was shoved in your mouth.

Namjoon laughed at your near-death expression.

"Don't tell him," Jimin hissed. "That's fucking weird. He's your ex."

"Then why would you do it?" Namjoon chuckled. "For the record, the relationship is no longer romantic, so I would no longer have a say even if it did bother me."

"I... well..." The younger man sputtered awkwardly.

You coughed and beat your sternum, glaring at Jimin. "The hell was that for? I rode your dick!"

Namjoon seemed highly amused and suddenly invested. "Ah, yes, and then?"

"Well, maybe it would have helped the situation..." Jimin said shiftily, eyes darting about as he turned bright red.

"Helped what?" you grunted, rubbing your throat at the uncomfortable sensation of a half-frozen esophagus.

"Doesn't seem like it helped," Namjoon remarked, placing a hand on his chin, still smiling.

You narrowed your eyes. "What are you talking about? All Jimin was going on about last night was how he hadn't had a good fuck in years–"

Namjoon snorted. "Years? Huh, that's odd, I seem to recall you getting laid four months ago at that party."

"That was four months ago and it was terrible!" Jimin whined, shaking the spoon. "And why are you talking about this with her, ahhhh!"

You and Namjoon shared a confused look as Jimin freaked out and snarfed down the rest of the ice cream, completely forgetting that he was using it as leverage to convince you of his grand master plan.

"Was it nice?" Namjoon inquired, diverting his attention from Jimin’s panic.

"Yeah, it was nice to have a partner who wasn't a complete idiot for once."

"That's good. I'm surprised you didn't ask before, honestly. You two are always hanging out."

"Never thought about it. What about you?"

"Ah, I fucked that girl who works at that coffee shop."

"Oh, yeah, the one with the nice tits?"

"Mmm, unfortunately that's about as much good as you can say about that one."

"That's sad. I'm sorry."

"Heh, no big deal, it'll happen when it happens. Plenty of fish in the sea and all that."

"Can you guys stop doing that thing?" Jimin grumbled from his spot on the bed, clutching the ice cream container and surrounding himself with your copious amount of cat plushies, including your one-meter-long giant calico cat. His ears were still red.

"What thing?" Namjoon asked, tilting his head.

"Yeah, what thing?" you echoed, raising your brows.

Jimin rolled his eyes. "I don't get why you guys broke up."

"Pretty simple reason, really."

"I think it's obvious," you agreed.

Jimin looked from you to Namjoon, frowning.

"Well?' he demanded.

You looked at Namjoon and he caught your eye, trying not to smile. "Oh, he wants us to tell him."

"Huh, kinda seems like it, yeah. A little invasive, don't you think?" Namjoon pretended to think, rubbing his chin.

"He is a little bit of a, how to say this, nosy little brat."

"Hello, I am right here?!"

"That's a little harsh. Perhaps more akin to the local neighborhood bird that's always flying around, intruding on conversations with their loud chirping."

"You are very kind."

Jimin looked livid. He chucked one of your cat plushies at your head and you cracked up, falling to the bed laughing. Namjoon shook his head, laughing with you in that rich, full tone with low depth, a little goofy and with a lot of dimple.

"It's a dumb reason, but basically we weren’t feeling that spark," you explained, sitting up and pushing your hair out of your face. "Sure, we could fuck just fine, but it was too obvious that something was missing. We're better as friends."

"You wanna get married if we're both eighty and single?" Namjoon joked.

"Yikes, if I'm eighty and single, fuck, might as well."

"Perfect, always wanted to know how much libido I would have at that age."

"Anyway," Jimin scowled. "Back to the matter at hand."

"Oh, right, what do you think about Yoongi-hyung? He's single and he’s nice."

You rubbed your nose. “Ah, I don’t know him very well. He’s quiet, isn’t he? I get the impression that he’s a chill and lazy guy. Doesn’t talk much.”

Namjoon nodded. “Maybe you need that.”

You made a face. “Why?”

“You are kind of a chronic high-strung workaholic,” Jimin cut in.

You twitched. “No, I’m not.”

Namjoon nodded sagely. “You kind of are. I would know.”

“Ah, don’t do me like that,” you sighed, admitting defeat.

“Did sleeping with Jimin help?” he prompted.

“Why would that help?”

“Wow, that’s really rude,” Jimin snapped.

“But why would that help me be less of a workaholic?” you retorted, frowning. “I’m not following your logic.”

Namjoon rubbed his chin. “Maybe just a date then. With a calm guy. It will be a change of pace and you can get to know Yoongi-hyung better at the same time.”

You twisted your lips. “Why?”

He shrugged. “I think you’ll like him if you knew him better.”

You frowned.

“I don’t want to be passed around your entire friend group like a hot potato, Namjoon. I’m not going on a date with him.”

-

“Wow, Namjoon, you look a lot like your ex-girlfriend. Is it that new diet?”

Why are you standing here? Why did you agree to this? Why is did people ask you to do things and you do them? Because you were nice, that’s why. Deep, deep down in that frozen glacier canyon you called a heart. Shit. Why couldn’t you just be a bitch? That would make life a whole that easier.

“New diet and a lot of plastic surgery, modelled after the hottest woman I know,” you said sarcastically, turning around to face the deep voice.

“Mmm, I agree.”

You froze a little, seeing Min Yoongi standing there nonchalantly. Black hat with two silver rings punched into it, black leather jacket over a white t-shirt, black jeans with rips at the knees. Nice black boots. Silver hoop earrings and an assortment of silver rings. Yoongi had always dressed well, but it felt strange knowing he still dressed like this even though it was to meet you.

Well, maybe it was just because he was out being seen by people and not you specifically.

“I didn’t know you liked rap,” Yoongi commented, holding up his ticket.

You held up yours. “I like all music. And who doesn’t like Epik High?” You laughed a little. “Funny that you also printed out the ticket. Does that make us old?”

Yoongi shrugged. “I like having a physical copy. For memories.”

“Mmm. Sentimental.”

He looked to the direction of the venue. Then he looked back to you. There was something different in his expression now. You tilted your head. Then you saw his dark brown orbs slide up and down. A strange shiver went up your spine.

Yoongi was checking you out.

And he wasn’t hiding it.

“You look nice.”

You didn’t miss the way the side of his lips curved upwards, giving his words little bit of a dangerous edge.

You looked down at yourself, at the black denim jacket layered over a long black-and-white striped shirtdress. Thick-soled knee-high black boots, because you were going to a concert and wanted to be comfortable. Your mesh silver choker cut into your neck a little from looking downwards. You wore a single ring on your left hand, middle finger.

A silver raven’s skull.

“Ah… should have put forth more effort. You look neater than I do,” you mused, starting to walk.

“Hm.”

You almost didn’t hear his next words.

“If you had put forth more effort, it might have been too risky for me.”

You ticked you head back and found Yoongi smirking at you under his hat, flashing a bit of his white teeth.

“You gonna drink?”

-

“I told you, I gotta drive.”

“I’m not pressuring you. I’m just confused why you would buy overpriced water.”

You clicked you tongue. “Well, they don’t exactly let you bring your own.”

Yoongi chuckled, taking a sip of his beer.

“And besides, you’re buying even more overpriced alcohol, so you’re worse.”

His eyes slid to yours. “I need it.”

You unscrewed the cap and drank the cold water, feeling it ice your veins. “And I need hydration.”

“You don’t drink because you lose control, huh? Control of what, exactly?”

You shifted on your heels. “I get too oppressive. It’s no good for anybody.”

You usually arrived early to these things, so there was time to kill. There were lots of people around, but for some reason it felt like the only person you could hear was Yoongi standing right next to you. The other people around you were only white noise.

“Namjoon and Jimin say you work too much.”

You clicked your tongue. “Namjoon and Jimin need to mind their own business.”

Yoongi chuckled. There was a dry rasp to it, low and sexy. “You still work at that hospital?”

“Yeah. I work on their software. There’s always something wrong with that outdated piece of shit,” you muttered. “Should really just tear it up and overhaul it, but the superiors won’t do it because it’s expensive. Like it isn’t expensive fixing it every five seconds, but okay.”

“Heh, that’s how that generation is. Outdated.”

You huffed. “Mmm, you can say that again.” You cocked your water bottle to him. “You work at the same music company as Namjoon, right? Producer?”

Yoongi nodded. “Mhm.”

You sensed a little bit of embarrassment for some reason. Then you noticed he was looking at your ring.

“You wondering about this?” You turned your wrist and held it up, water swishing behind it.

“You always wear it. Namjoon give it to you?” he asked, taking another sip of his beer.

You shook your head, laughing a little. “Nah. Different ex.” You looked down at it. “And they didn’t give it to me. They said something to me and it stuck with me. When I saw this ring, I decided to buy it.”

You recalled the quote like it was yesterday.

“Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door.”

Yoongi blinked at you.

You translated the English from Korean and he raised his eyebrows.

“Edgar Allan Poe?”

You dropped your hand, clicking your tongue. “Basically saying I was a lingering poison of a human being and they wanted to break up with me.”

Yoongi tutted. “Interesting. How creative.”

You rolled your eyes. “What I get for fucking literature majors during university, I guess.”

“But you brought the ring anyway.”

You paused, looking down at the silver raven skull.

“To remind myself to stop fucking literature majors.”

You looked up at Yoongi and his eyes searching your expression. It was suddenly a weird moment, his eyes so solidly on you, as if he could see everything, but that was impossible. Your skin tingled all over, even under your clothes.

“They were insecure, huh?” he murmured.

You shrugged. “Made me question every fucking interaction I've ever had, wondering if I left the wrong impression or could be misinterpreted or some shit. Everything was so messed up.” You frowned, adjusting your shoulder slightly, sighing out the thoughts of the past. “Ah, it was a long time ago anyway. I’ve already erased them.”

“Is that why you broke up with Namjoon?”

You rolled your eyes. “Why does everybody think there’s some big drama between Namjoon and I? Would we still be friends if there was something that serious?”

Yoongi took another sip. “I think I speak for everyone when I say it seemed like you suited each other.”

“Hah, it’s not that we don’t have similarities. Kind of the opposite, really.” You waved a hand. “You know, two people have certain preferences and one of us was always on the bottom and neither of us liked that. Maybe it was him or me, and I love the guy, but not like that. We could fuck and it would be great, but we both agreed there wasn’t that… feeling. That shiver you get with that person. Sometimes I think we only got together because everyone kept pressuring us, saying we should, and not because we actually wanted to.”

“Hmm.”

The lights dimmed and you turned to face the stage.

“What about Jimin?”

“What about him?”

“Heard you plucked a hair off his dick.”

You twitched. “Let me guess, Taehyung told you.”

“Taehyung told everyone. He was a bit drunk.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “Jimin’s a great friend, but he’s a bit clingy with me. Always wants to be near someone. It can be good for some people, but I don’t think I could take it twenty-four-seven if we were actually dating. Not my type.”

“Do you have a type?”

You shot Yoongi a look as the crowd began to hum with excitement. “Do you?”

Those cat-like eyes gleamed in the impeding darkness, a flash of white from his open-mouthed smirk.

“I wouldn’t have agreed to this date if I didn’t.”

-

“Did you enjoy the show?”

“Yeah, it was great. Never seen you excited like that, eh, Yoongi?” You smacked him lightly in the arm, smirking. “That’s the most energy I’ve ever seen you have.”

He stuck his tongue in his cheek. His cheeks were lightly pink, although he didn’t seem drunk. “I have energy. I’m just not wasting it.”

“Hmm.”

A short silence as the crowd filtered out around you, but again, even though you were surrounded by people, the only one that seemed to be heard was the man in front of you, peering down at you from underneath his black cap, a small smirk on his lips, tiny flash of pink tongue as he moved it inside his mouth.

“You driving home, yes?”

“Yeah.” You stared into his brown eyes. “Want a ride?”

An eyebrow lifted. “Inviting me to fuck?”

Blunt.

You scoffed. “Nah. I already told Namjoon and Jimin I’m not gonna be passed around their friend group like a hot potato. This was nice though. I enjoyed it.”

He looked you up and down again. That strange shiver went up and down your spine again. He stared you down. You stared back, unrelenting. The world was loud, but this moment was your eyes and his eyes, electricity between them.

Yoongi’s smirk widened.

-

"I always wanted a beautiful woman to tie me up."

Men. Women. Nonbinary. Agender. Gender neutral. Gender fluid. Didn't fucking matter, people were people, and they always wanted shit from you. Always. It was always about what they could get from you and how they could pretend to be what you wanted to get what they wanted. Everyone always looking out for themselves.

You could respect that.

Just, for once, it would be nice if someone wanted to give you what you wanted.

You cracked your neck and looked down at his dark eyes covered in messy black hair, his pale cheeks less pink now, his head on your pillows and sandwiched in between your plethora of cat plushies, pink lower lip in his teeth.

Smirking.

Wasn't hiding a damn thing.

"Who knew you could be a bad boy, Min Yoongi?"

His smirk widened, tongue between his teeth.

"I'm good when I'm good. When I'm bad, I'm better."

His black cap with the two silver rings was somewhere on your bedroom floor and so was his leather jacket, his shirt, his jeans, and his socks. His pale wrists were tied together with red bondage rope. Yours. You were straddling his chest, missing only one article of clothing.

Alright, you were missing socks too.

No one fucked with socks on. If you did, maybe it was time to reevaluate your life.

“You don’t mind being tied up, hm?” you taunted, sliding out of your jacket, tossing it aside.

Everyone wanted something.

What did Min Yoongi want?

Yoongi let his tongue slide out, dancing in the air. Taunting you back before replying.

“Just because you’re tied up doesn’t mean you’re not in control.”

Your hand paused in front of the button placket of your shirtdress. You traced a button with your thumb, slowly, watching his face. Spread your legs more, lowering yourself, hovering over him. You could feel him breathe under you, patient, humming with energy. He flitted the wet pink muscle, skimming his lower lip, waiting. Dark brown orbs hazed with lust under strands of black.

“You wanna stop after sitting on my face, that’s fine, but you have to at least sit on my face.”

You chuckled. “Yeah?”

You sat down on his torso and he sucked in a breath, eyes flicking down to the darkness still covered by your shirt, then back up to your face. You shifted your hips slowly, smearing the hot, dripping softness on his skin.

“Could just… stop here.”

You scooted upward, drawing a fat line of your juices up his chest and to his neck. You knew how much pressure to apply. Didn’t seem to matter though, because Yoongi didn’t seem to give a fuck. He tipped his head back, pressing his Adam’s apple into your throbbing heat and shuddering in pleasure. His gaze found yours and you stopped, suddenly trapped, a moment of his eyes and your eyes, electricity flaring between them.

“I’m glad Namjoon asked me to take you on a date,” Yoongi drawled, deep voice vibrating your heated, wet core from his throat. “Made me feel less guilty about wanting to fuck you.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Got some weird bro code rules or something?”

He smirked. “Oh, I respect him.” He swallowed and you felt a shiver slide up your spine, feeling the action from your throbbing pussy faster than you heard it. “I just want you more.” Exhale, and you felt the warmth against your shirt, making it flutter. You unbuttoned it slowly, one by one. “Want to see the satisfaction on your face when I make you cum.” Slowly, not parting the shirt yet, letting him see the line of exposed skin. His eyes travelled up and down shamelessly, not hiding anything. He noticed you observing him and grinned.

That open-mouthed smirk, teeth and hint of tongue.

“Come on. Give it to me.”

Voice so deep it seemed to be shimmering through you, dark eyes flashing in the darkness.

Teasing you.

“Gonna make you cum so hard, you’ll untie me and beg me to fuck you.”

You cocked a brow.

“Let’s see.”

You sat on his face.

You felt Yoongi’s smirk against your soaked folds for a second before his tongue slid in, instantly making your thighs tense at the sensation. Hot to hot, wet to wet, no, wetter, your hands on your headboard as his tongue curled inside you, thrusting upwards, drinking the wetness from you, low moan vibrating through your torso and you felt his eyes on you, on your shirt slowly opening, one shoulder gliding down, and you shrugged out of it, suddenly boiling, skin pricking from the heat of his gaze, tossing it aside, leaving you in your black bra.

He tipped his chin up and you gasped, feeling his tongue swipe upward, fuck, a smooth, deft motion, circling your clit. You clicked your tongue and rolled your hips into his face. Yoongi chuckled before latching onto it and sending a burning wave of pleasure through you.

Your nails dug into the headboard, making a loud scrape.

He purred your name against your packed nerves and you drenched his chin, glaring down at him.

Yoongi had the audacity to bounce his eyebrow in response.

Alright, you could admit it.

Going on a date with Min Yoongi was not a waste of time.

You grinded against his face and he sucked and licked your clit at the same time, fuck, moans in his throat, not unaffected by you humping his face, but resolute, focused on his task of pleasuring you, shivering as your hand fitted around his head, fingers tangling in his already messy black hair, roughly fucking his face as his tongue assaulted you, somehow the perfect mix of demanding and servitude, hot exhale on your skin, your juices covering his chin and cheeks, your soft thighs pressed against his face, teetering between suffocating and barely enough breath, closer, closer, the tightness rising within you, looking down as you felt your opening flexing against his chin and his eyes flickered up to you instantly, imprinting the memory of his dark brown orbs overtaken by black pupils staring into yours, lips wrapped around your clit, in the midst of pushing you to the edge.

“Fucking shit,” you hissed. “You’re so fucking sexy.”

Something flitted in his eyes and he looked back down immediately, increasing his pace and you moaned, closed fist against the headboard, but not missing his reaction. A slow smile grew on your lips, hand in his hair relaxing, massaging his scalp.

“You like being praised?” you purred, sweet octave to your voice.

The quickest flick of his gaze before licking your clit furiously as a reply.

Hot sparks igniting your veins, drawing in a tight breath, staring down, putting a little more weight on him, but Yoongi didn’t say anything, not even looking at you anymore, so close. You knew it would only take a little more. You could tell from the viscous slickness that was coating his skin that you had maybe seconds left.

“A handsome face and talented tongue,” you breathed. “No wonder I couldn’t resist you, Yoongi.”

His whimper made you tremble in delight, eyes to eyes, addicted to it, him to you and you to him, and you gasped his name, biting your lip and throwing your head back as your hips rocked into his mouth and spilled onto his face with a wet squelch, fuck, so much even you could smell it, hearing Yoongi groan as it filled his mouth, his tongue shoving into your folds and lapping up the rapid pulses, your throbbing clit on the back of his tongue, pressing into you, his nose in your crotch, one of your hands in his hair and one on the headboard, muscles flexing and quivering with the ecstasy, eyelids closing, immersed in it. Savoring the feeling coursing through your body, from your core to your limbs to your head, filling you with shivers that were unlike anything you had ever felt before.

You removed some pressure from his face, letting go of his head, but Yoongi followed, hungrily licking you all over, nipping at your inner thighs, flinches of pleasure extending your high before going back to your pussy, up, down, side to side, drenching you in his saliva and drinking your cum like it was his fucking life force.

Well, shit.

You opened your eyes, panting.

Damn.

You had a whole speech prepared for Namjoon and Jimin about how setting you up with their friends was a bad idea and how they should mind their own fucking business and now you had to prepare a speech about how you needed your house keys back because you were going to fuck Min Yoongi every second of every day and you hadn’t even had his dick yet.

You looked down at him.

Yoongi’s eyes were slightly unfocused, exhaling heavily against your crotch, staring at it.

“Fuck me, you have a pretty pussy,” he muttered under his breath. “Fuck.”

Half of your cat plushies were on the bed and the other half were on the floor.

“You have an excellent tongue,” you chuckled. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

He blinked once and his gaze was on you, half-shyness, half-cockiness, wholly sexy as fuck.

“Didn’t want to make Namjoon feel bad,” he snickered, pink lips shiny with your juices. “You would have left him a lot sooner if you knew.”

You raised an eyebrow.

Something about his tone make you think Yoongi meant it on some level.

You wouldn’t have tried to find out, but now that you experienced it…

Maybe.

“Hey.”

“Hm?”

Yoongi gave you that smirk you were beginning to become addicted to seeing. “That all you want from me?”

You laughed, sly and full.

“No, Yoongi, I’m gonna need your dick.”

-

“I don’t beg, so I’m not untying you.”

“Damn, what a terrible result.”

Yoongi didn’t seem the least bit worried about it.

He sank his nails into your ass and pushed himself in, your hand snaked below to guide him. You weren’t unreasonable, after all. You helped him put on the condom and shoved your tits in his face, rubbing your nipples all over his cheeks, his pink tongue stretching from side to side, eyes on you the entire time, getting harder and harder with the way you manhandled him, moaning into your skin.

Not hiding anything.

“Fuck, you’re so tight,” he hissed, gritting his teeth, gripping your ass, wrists still bound. He violently smacked his hips into your ass and you grinned, hands now on the bed.

“Mmm, what a nice…” You pulsed, making Yoongi groan. “Hard.” Again, hearing his ecstasy. “Cock.” He scraped your ass and up your back, gasping for breath, desperation in his touch. You turned your head, giving him the reflection of his own smirk. He gazed back, eyes glazed over, torso shuddering from the repeated massaging of his length buried in you, all from your muscle control.

“Hold on, Yoongi.”

Something between teasing and adoration, and you visibly saw Yoongi tremble in excitement.

“You got it.”

You turned back and sank your hands into your pillows, sliding on his stiffness and ramming yourself back onto it, making both him and you groan in unison, rough, deep strokes of visceral fucking, you commanding the pace. Didn’t matter if you were the one on your hands and knees, you used him and he wanted to be used, barely able to grip your waist, moaning your name and fucking you back, loud, sloppy smacks of ass to crotch, flexing your shoulder blades akin to a lioness on the prowl chasing their prey, and you heard Yoongi chuckle, breathing swallow and euphoric.

“Look at this back view, fuck, you are the sexiest woman alive.”

Breathless with desire, smug at having you, in awe of your prowess, all at once, clutching the small of your waist as you clenched around him, the shudders of your walls closing in, painting his crotch and balls with you, his quivering moan trapped in his chest because he could barely get it out. You caught your lower lip between your teeth, feeling him fill you as you pushed back, the rush immeasurable, unfathomable, anchoring your palms into your mattress and growling his name, the smacking of hips to hips, desperation to desperation, a brief reprieve as you snatched a cat plush and jammed it under your chest before you reached back and felt for the end of the rope, unlacing the knot with ease, and Yoongi yanked his wrists free with a swift hiss of satisfaction, grabbing your ass and fiercely fucking you, harder, rougher, just as much for him as it was for you, your name falling from his lips, unable to hide his lust, chasing it, chasing you, and you didn’t let up.

“Yoongi, fuck, yes, your cock feels so fucking good, fuck!”

Deep, intense, powerful, everything you were and everything he was, and it all crashed down, stealing your breath, pleasure clawing up your spine and taking over, lungs suddenly emptied with the force of each hard pulse of pleasure snaking upwards to fill the void, squeezing him so hard that you weren’t sure if that was voluntary or not, your joined inner thighs trembling and dripping, sweet slickness sliding down, drenching you and Yoongi, his groan piercing the air and cutting through your thoughts. His cock twitched and jerked, pumping thick gushes of cum and swelling the condom inside you.

Fucking shit, did you hold your breath? Everything lightheaded and hazy, reaching up and slapping your hand against the headboard, sucking in a lungful of air and rocking your hips back, riding the wave. Your felt Yoongi’s grip on your waist tighten, his pants so heavy you could feel the weight of his exhale on your back, heating your skin.

Snarl in your throat, definitive.

“I need this cock, Yoongi, need you and this perfect cock and I’m going to use it until I’m done.”

Rolling your hips, listening to his wanton moan at your words and the sensation, the messy squish of your movement, clenching around the sensitive head, slow, tight, your fingers curling to a fist, his name on your lips, low and seductive, and he responded in kind, your name in the same tone, drunk on the moment, the feeling, the power you had over him.

His nails in your back, creating long lines down your spine, and the shiver you got with that person, dancing up and down your vertebrate, unmistakable.

Yoongi gave it to you.

-

“Hey, so how’d it go–whoa!”

You popped your head out of your mountain of cat plushies and glared at the offender who burst into your bedroom. Who the fuck was that?

Guess.

“Jimin, do you know what personal space is?” Yoongi muttered from beside you, lifting himself on his elbows to peer disapprovingly over your naked shoulder.

“He doesn’t,” you mumbled, flopping back down.

“So… went well?” came Jimin’s cheerful and teasing voice from the doorframe.

You heard a cat plush get thrown like a cannonball.

“Ow, fuck, okay, I get it, hyung!” Jimin cackled, stumbling down your hallway. “I’ll come back later!”

“Don’t,” Yoongi snapped back, grumbling as he slid back down on the bed.

“You better pick him back up later,” you warned, referring to the plush.

“You dumped half of them on the ground so we could sleep.”

“No, they fell because we were fucking.”

You opened your eyes to see Yoongi smirking at you. There was a cat plush next to his head. One of your favorites. You picked it up and bonked him in the head with it. He made a disgruntled grunt and flinched away from it, ending up closer to your face. Eyes to eyes, electricity between them. You smirked, matching him, leaning in, arm curving around his head.

Tapping the tuxedo cat plush on his shoulder.

His breath against your lips, lust and fondness, not hiding anything.

“Hey, Yoongi.”

“Hm?”

Playing along, a willing participant in your games, one eye open, as if he was winking at you.

“I like you. You’re mine.”

He chuckled, a little raspy, a little embarrassed, and a lot amused.

“Sit on my shoulder, my raven. I’ll never ask you to leave.”

--

masterpost

[danniburgh]

The way you make me feel (Javier x f!reader x Steve)

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader x Steve Murphy

Summary: It was on how you three had softened to each other. There was nothing wrong with it.

It was in the way you made each other feel. The only man Javier and Steve were willing to share you with was each other.

Word count: +2.7k

Chapter warnings: mentions of The War on Drugs of course, a hint of jealousy, lots of teasing and kisses, a sprinkle of angst here and there

A/N: so... yeah i made this lmao, this is fluff and i love it and MUSTACHE BOYFRIENDS NATION RISE, also, thank you so much to @bella-ciao​ for the help with some ideas and @queenofthefaceless​ for helping WITH THE TITLE ilysm guys

ao3 // Masterlist // ko-fi

comments and reblogs are eternally appreciated 💓

gif: @pajamasecrets

“Whose turn for dinner?” Steve asked, standing up from behind his desk.

“Yours” you and Javi replied at the same time and you looked at each other. Steve huffed as you smiled at Javier and then at him.

“I want chicken,” you mumbled.

“You?” Steve turned at your partner and Javier only nodded, “fine, see you at home,” Steve put on his jacket and walked around his desk towards yours, you looked up at him and smirked when he turned to the office door window just to make sure no one was looking inside, leaned down and gave you a soft kiss on the lips, “drag him out of here on time,” he mumbled on your mouth and you rolled your eyes, nodding. 

Steve then walked towards Javier and did the same, a soft kiss and some words, then he walked out.

“He told you to not be late?” you asked Javier, who was lighting up another cigarette.

“You know him,” he mumbled, eyeing the closed door of the office Steve had just crossed through and lingering his gaze there for a second as you studied his face. It was as if he was remembering how you all got into the mess that was your relationship. He then turned to see you, winked and drowned himself back into the pile of paperwork in front of him.

You tried to do the same but failed, at the assumption of Javier thinking about the start of your relationship you couldn’t help but to think about it.

Colombia was a beautiful but hard place.

The War on Drugs wasn’t easy, and as a DEA agent you knew you had it easy. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard.

And certain situations, those that had brought the three of you together, made it even harder; for you it was both your courage and your gender, being a woman in the agency wasn’t easy at all, almost everyone doubted you and you had to get used to prove yourself worthy of attention before even proving that you were good at what you did, and when you met your two partners, they made it a lot easier, they already believed you could just by watching you pace around the embassy like you owned the place. So that was something that made you soften to them; for Javier it was between his reputation and the fact that he had been in the country years before you or Steve, he was known for making dubious things to get intel and you knew how much it weighed on him, he was a man who cared, who had a deep connection with not only the country and the culture but the war in itself, and he was a man willing to do what it took to keep on fighting, but you and Steve had shown him tenderness and had shown him you cared. So that was something that made him soften to you; for Steve it was both the fact that the country wasn’t what he expected, if he ever expected anything, and his divorce, he had showed up years before with wide eyes and so many ideas and a beautiful wife that just got tired and grew scared of everything that went on around her, so she took their daughter and left, and if Steve was a mess before hand he turned into an even deeper mess, but you and Javier pulled him out of the misery of what he thought his life had turned into and cared for him. So that was something that made Steve soften to you.

And the thing you three had, then? there wasn’t even a name for it.

You liked to call it a thruple, but Javier growled every time you mentioned it, called you both children even though he wasn’t that much older than you or Steve, and that made you and Steve laugh.

The only thing you three knew is the deep care, the deep understanding, the deep knowledge and the deep love you had about and for each other.

A soft tap on your desk brought you out of your reminiscence and you saw two light tanned fingers on the surface, the owner of them demanding your attention.

“Let’s go home,” Javier said, and waited for you to put files away while sitting on the edge of your desk and admiring the way you moved through the office.

For Javier, falling in love with you was something he didn’t even have to put effort on. You were beautiful, gorgeous in his eyes, smart as hell, strong and delicate at the same time. You were young and self assured and a badass and Javier couldn’t stop himself from falling in love with you even if he tried.

As you were making sure you had everything in your bag and went on to check Steve hadn’t forgotten anything, his mind traveled to the utter and complete mess he was when he realized he also loved Steve.

Javier always knew he wasn’t indifferent to men, and he knew he was attracted to Steve ever since they met. But Steve was married and that was the end of it. It wasn’t until Connie left and his friend sank into himself that he realized he cared deeply for him, as you did.

And once, while you made dinner at Steve’s place while the blond man tried to take a shower he blurted everything to you. Because the few moments Javier allowed himself to be truly vulnerable was only when he was in your arms, that was something he kept only for you. And it wasn’t out of distrust for Steve, he knew he could confide in him and he did. But you and your precious mind always knew how to soothe the restlessness of his brain even for an hour or two.

“Sounds to me like you’re in love,” you had told him, and Javier had huffed while his eyes went to the picture of Steve holding Olivia that was pinned on the fridge “you know there’s nothing wrong about it, right?” you had tried to reassure him and he had only nodded.

“It’s not that,” Javier had mumbled and he had let his deep brown gaze fall upon you.

“You love me too?” you had questioned and Javier only smiled at you and your incredible ability to read him like a book.

“I think I love you too,” you had confessed while fixing three plates with equal amounts of food.

“And Steve?” Javier had teased, reaching for three forks.

“And Steve,”

“Shall we?” you called him and he shook his head to make the memory fade. You walked next to each other out of the CNP headquarters towards the car, hopped in in silence and drove the fifteen minute way to the house you three shared while stationed in Medellín.

None of you said anything because the drive home, even if it was by yourselves or the three of you together, was a moment you used to shed away the DEA agent persona, it was something you all had agreed on taking as a way to let the work at work, at least as far as the circumstances allowed it and be just yourselves.

When Javier used his keys to open the door and let you in you saw Steve in the kitchen holding the phone between his cheek and his shoulder, struggling with a tray that Javier took from his hand. 

“Yes, I sent those as well,” you looked at Javier with a questioning gaze and he shook his head while taking off his jacket “I understand,” Steve looked at you and you saw his deep blue eyes conflicted, you tried to give him a reassuring smile but you weren’t sure it had reached the place you wanted it to “can you put her on the phone?” he said, Javier was emptying his pockets on the kitchen counter and then walked to take your bag from your hand and put it next to his and Steve's badges “hi baby,” Steve’s face lit up and Javi and you instantly knew he was speaking to Olivia.

As you had made sure Steve was okay you fell into your now old routine. You served dinner while Javier cleared out the table and Steve reluctantly hung up the phone and reached for three beers in the fridge.

“How is she?” you asked once the three of you were seated and dining.

“She’s good, stopped teething,” Steve muttered and you noticed Javier narrowing his eyes, as if he was trying to grasp the concept.

“And… Connie?” your tone was tentative and you searched for his ocean eyes, as you and Javier liked to call them.

“She’s good, sends her regards,” Steve drank from his beer and Javier snorted.

“Javi,” you half chastised half whined.

“Sends her regards?” Javier smirked as he lit a cigarette and gave it to Steve.

“Her words, man,” Steve took it and puffed from it.

“I mean, it’s weird, cut her some slack,” you said, taking the cigarette from Steve’s fingers.

“So you’re defending one of your boyfriend’s ex-wife, now?” Javier teased and Steve chuckled, shaking his head.

“I’m just saying, it’s an odd thing,” you shrugged and puffed from the cigarette.

“I mean yeah, your ex-husband suddenly starts fucking both his partners, I bet is odd,” Javier muttered, Steve and you sighed at Javier’s words and before either of you could say anything to him the house phone rang.

“Not it,” you and Steve called at the same time and Javier rolled his eyes, standing up to answer it.

“Yeah,” he answered, Steve turned to look at you and leaned to give you a kiss that tasted like the store-bought roasted chicken, lager and smoke, “no she’s here, one sec,” Javier walked back to the table and looked at you “it’s for you,” you frowned and stood up “it’s Morales,” he muttered, serious faced, and you saw him and Steve both tightening their jaws, making you roll your eyes.

You walked towards the phone feeling two pairs of eyes on your body and you smiled to yourself when you picked up the receiver and answered.

Javier and Steve looked at you and then at each other.

“I don’t trust him,” Steve muttered to Javi, who only shook his head “he clearly wants something with her,” Javier huffed.

“He wants everything with her,” Javier said between gritted teeth and both of them grunted when you let out a soft giggle and said gracias, Luis to the phone. “I wanna hurt that man,” 

“I’ll hold him,” Steve muttered, you caught the last part while you hung up the phone and smiled at them.

“No one is gonna hurt anybody,” you lifted a finger to emphasize. 

“He clearly wants you,” Javier frowned and Steve agreed with him.

“Well I already have to take care of two men, do you think I want another one?” you laughed out and sat back down, grabbing your bottle of beer “I like him, but as a friend.” you assured them. Steve visibly relaxed but Javier didn’t.

“That’s what you told me and look at us,” he said, Steve narrowed his eyes at you and you rubbed your forehead.

You loved them, you really did, and the fact that they loved each other as much as they loved you made your heart swell with happiness, but they could be pricks and jealous assholes. The only person they were willing to share you with was each other. No one else.

“Can you stop?” you pleaded, looking at both “I don’t want to be with anyone else but you two,” you reassured them, Steve smiled at you and took your hand in his, Javier took a little more convincing “I love you,” you smiled, looking at him and tightening the grip on Steve’s hand.

“Jav,” Steve called out to him “tell her you love her,” he demanded, making you laugh. At the sound of you laughing Javier’s feigned mean face broke into a smirk.

“I love you too,”

Steve let go of your hand and after that you fell into work chatter while you finished eating, because Morales had called you with new intel about the cartel and it was you. Of course you were gonna talk about work over dinner.

A couple of hours later you were resting on Javier’s naked chest, sitting between his legs while chilling on the bed and sharing a cigarette, your free hand roaming up and down his tight while the both of you were looking at Steve getting out of the shower.

“Are you seriously getting dressed right now?” you teased him when you saw him reach for some briefs inside the closet, feeling Javier’s chest move with his chuckle.

“You know we're gonna undress you anyway, right?” Javier teased as well behind you, making Steve huff and drop the underwear on the floor.

“Fine,” he grunted and crawled on the bed to lay his wet head on your lap.

Your hand found its place playing with Steve’s blond hair and while you did that and shared a cigarette with Javi, Steve let himself remember how he realized he had fallen in love with both.

His divorce wasn’t messy, Connie had talked to him about it and it was an agreement, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less. As his life as he had known it for years was about to change permanently. The only thing that gave him a small sense of stability was you and Javi. Always there, always present, always willing to help.

You, with words, always reassuring him and caring about him and asking how he was doing and checking up on him; Javi, without them, bringing him food and making sure he ate it, knocking on his door and dragging him out of the apartment to take him to dinner with him and you, calling him at exactly six fifteen each morning to wake him up and make sure he got to work on time.

He didn’t know he could feel something like that for a man, he was scared at first, and he told you that. Because while Javier confided in you his vulnerabilities, Steve confided you his deepest fears.

“I just… I don’t know why I feel like this,” he had told you, halfway drunk, gripping your hand. And you had smiled at him.

“It’s the first time you feel like that for another man?” you had asked and he nodded like a child caught with his hands and clothes all muddy “but you know there’s nothing wrong with it, right?” the same question you were to ask Javier about a couple weeks later.

“It isn’t,” Steve had mumbled to himself, and to you it sounded like a question.

“It isn’t” you had told him in reassurance, and when he looked at you with those big blue puppy eyes you knew it. And Steve had thrown himself at you and kissed you for what it felt like hours.

And then, when he was about moving on, cleaning his house of the rest of Connie’s things to send them to her, Javier helping, he had cornered him and with pleading eyes asked him to kiss him. And Javier did it without hesitation.

Steve would never forget the way Javier’s lips felt in his that first time, and how a single kiss from the only man he had ever loved in his life made his body feel tons lighter.

The sound of you moaning woke him up from his reminiscence and he turned around to see Javier’s hand cupping your breasts and his lips devouring your neck. Your eyes opened and you bit your lip, raising a hand for him to take.

He took it and you pulled him to you to grab his lips on a kiss while Javier’s hands roamed around your body.

You broke the kiss and leaned up to lick and nip on the skin of his neck, as Javier’s hands kept exploring your skin and Steve grabbed Javi by the nape, trapping his lips on a kiss.

It was going to be a long night.

pedrito's perma list: @queenofthefaceless @northernpunk​ @pascalesque​ @sleep-tight1​ @cheekygeek05​ @bii-aan-ckaa​ @letaliabane​  @starlightmornings​ @mouthymandalorianalso​

Javi's babies: @pulplorrd​

[blushing-starker]

Anon asked for alpha Peter and omega Tony for a baby announcement. Thank you to the wonderful @vaguekiwi for motivating me and sharing her thoughts on the story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, anon.

"Tony, Tony? Are you up? It's 7:30am already, you have a meeting with Miss Potts in forty minutes. Tony?"

Soft hands curl into already silver hair, scratching at the strands in an attempt to wake him up gently. Butterfly kisses on a cold nape, a ridiculously hot nose nuzzling everywhere. Peter knows scenting the billionaire is basically the only way one can ensure a calm morning.

Not today. And not for the next few months either.

He loves his husband, appreciates the nearly romantic demeanor, he does. But "unless you have a cup of coffee for me, there is no way in hell i am gonna leave this bed. your child has kept me up with nausea the entire night. I wanna hurl my guts out more than that time Rhodes found Dad's liquor cabinet. please, tell me you have coffee."

"..." Tony is severely displeased by the fact he can read Peter like a book even with half his mind shut off because fine, he's right and dammit all.

"I want that weird drink you make. The one with milk, cinnamon and chunks of brownie. And French toast with waffles. No jam, not too much butter, as much sugar as possible. Now, go before I scream at you for having the only dick that could get a hormone fucked forty something omega pregnant. "

The kid scrambles from bed, practically face plants with all the covers tangling long legs and yup, this is the person that the universe designated as his soulmate. Because Tony Stark can never have a partner with a reasonable, normal amount of enthusiasm, stamina and a sense of balance.

That sounds like he's ungrateful, he's not. But it turns out being three months pregnant gives him plenty of perspective to peer at life in a whole new way that does not include caffeine, alcohol or sex.

Would he kill and die for this amazing human being that makes Tony's heart race no matter the day, that inspires him to be a better version of himself? Yes, no questions asked. No hesitation and no regret.

Would he clobber Peter for doing the impossible and technically causing Tony incredible discomfort on a daily basis thanks to what his doctors can only assume is a superhuman baby he already loves and adores more than life itself? Also yes.

Things aren't mutually exclusive in this household.

Pep, bless her, has yet to find out about their future mini Parker so there's been no respite on the whole 'running a multi billion dollar industry ' thing. And yeah, while it's not exactly easy, he can focus on other things and not fall into a panicky state of mind — because him? A father? Of a super baby? Tony Stark, infamous playboy with a hedonistic streak, a dad?

Just thinking along those lines makes shame and self doubt slither over a metallic plate. Working, dealing with innovative scientists, crafting the new world of tomorrow, guaranteeing the safety of their planet, shapeshifting into a role model, a mentor (for the interns and school kids he visits, not Peter, of course, thank God they left that dynamic ages ago), loyal friend, reluctant errand boy (fuck the assholes in charge of the Accords), great husband, good man, it all distracts a fearful child from thinking, what if I turn into Howard?

"I couldn't find brownies, so cookies it is! Aunt May had a few boxes sent in when I told her work was keeping you on your feet all the time. Said it'd be a good idea to snack along the day in case you—" Peter freezes, tenses with a not-so-narrow back held ramrod straight. Oh, his husband brought him breakfast in bed.

How could he ever think to clobber such a nice, wonderful—

"Your scent is odd."

"Yeah, well fuck you too then."

Five seconds of silence.

"I'm bringing you one cup of coffee and the hormone pills."

" Yup, that's a great idea. "

---------------------------

Tony’s mumbo jumbo with self loathing is firmly put on the back burner after inhaling a delicious breakfast and chugging that one glorious cup of coffee. Until they go to the bathroom and he sees himself in the mirror.

"We gotta tell them."

"You said you wanted to wait a while before saying anything."

Peter strips, ducks into the warm shower, lets out a pleased little sigh and Tony wants to rip his fingernails off. Is it bad, having sex while pregnant? No! The doctors, every single one of them, said it's a perfectly normal thing to do. It'd be bad if they didn't have sex because Tony, thanks to his crazy hormone production, needs the extra attention for his body to understand this is a happy process that shouldn't include sad pheromones or stressed out moments. Will Peter put him out of his misery and allow a quickie in the mornings? No.

"Take more than five minutes in that shower and I'm joining you."

Listen, he grew up in the 80's and 90's, Tony wasn't immune to peer pressure. Did he cave and eventually do so many squat competitions with Rhodey his butt turned into a duck's butt? There's no evidence, he's made sure, but yes. And Starks have always turned out to be beautiful, doesn't matter your gender or age. Finding a companion for the night has never been a problem for anyone in his family tree.

That, and his work as Iron Man has kept him — well, not ripped like Cap, certainly not as lean and (God help him) athletic as Peter, but fit. Sturdy. Firm. Solid. (Peter once muttered the words 'daddy-like' in regards to his body and he nearly choked on water.)

The passage of time has made him a bit slower, dusted once black hair with, as his husband says, stardust and the corners of his eyes now show how much time Tony spends laughing or frowning. All in all, he looks fucking spectacular for his age and experience as a villain-punching-bag. Thing is, he has a belly. A bump. A curve where it was once, well. Less curvy. Is it a problem for Peter? Nope, as acknowledged every time his alpha tackles him if he so much as looks oddly in the mirror. Is it a problem for him? He'll get back to you on that.

The point is, there's a belly when just a few months ago there wasn't such a pronounced belly. It's great, of course. Proof their child is growing steadily and Tony's body is adjusting to it accordingly. A small part of him, the omega part he actually lets live, is fascinated and proud. He's doing that, Tony's the one growing a human being, creating life out of nothing in his own body. That child, although not the only physical embodiment of their relationship, is a result of his love for Peter. Of how much his husband loves him. They love each other so much they're gonna start another family together. That chokes him up a bit, reminds him how grateful he is for Peter and for the other Avengers. If they hadn't been so accepting of his status, would he have ever considered going through with this?

Anyway, he's not gonna start sobbing this early in the morning when there's no alcohol involved. It's fantastic seeing his child develop, good, warm and fuzzy feelings, yada yada yada, it's also not very easy to hide. And Tony...Tony wanted to hide it from his family because.

Because Peter hasn't been the only partner in all his life that has wondered about a future with a white picket fence. Because when he was Peter's age, in his goddamn prime, a doctor, ten doctors, all the doctors told him the same thing, smashed his dream into a million pieces. Tony was nearly infertile. There was a one in a million chances of him getting pregnant. If he did, they couldn't be sure his body would be able to maintain two hearts. And then the cave happened.

So yeah. It happened to his cousins, his aunt, a few uncles, his grandmother. Tony would do a baby announcement, but only the second that baby was outside of him and safely in his arms. Now there are still several months left and nothing certain. But time is a bitch and beginning to show the world, maybe those extra pounds aren't from eating the Parker's amazing breakfasts.

"Tony, you know I don't wanna risk-" Losing control of my strength. They've been together long enough that Tony can see quite clearly between the lines.

"Hurting us, yeah, I know, I understand. I'm getting too wide, we're gonna have to tell them or Natasha will take one look at me and whoops, impromptu announcement from someone else. It's a miracle she was out on those missions when we found out." Thank God for renegade troops.

He's still looking at himself in the mirror when Peter comes out, barely dries up and slides behind him. His husband is slightly taller now, can easily hook a curved jaw on Tony's shoulder to peer at the image they make. Contrasts, he supposes, have always enthralled Tony. The study of light and shadow. Variations of the same basic components. Where his body is aging, showing signs of wear and tear, Peter's is evolving into something beautiful, majestic. Silver hair, chestnut brown. Scarred canvas, silky smooth and sunkissed skin. Soft, fragile curves, chiseled lines that deserve to be revered more than Michelangelo’s David. But their eyes, their eyes are equally tired.

“We can tell them if you want, have dinner together and just, just say it. Like that -”

“No. It's our kid, we're not gonna act like it's ripping off a band aid. This is special, unique. Dinner is good. Fantastic, actually. Wait for dessert, and announce it. “ Peter comes ever closer, wraps arms that could carry the world around him and how did he get so lucky?

They've lied to each other in the past. Mostly in the beginning, when they were too worried about hurting their new relationship to show their desires and wants. Tony didn't explain the Training Wheels Protocol. Peter tried to fight high level crime on his own. Things got hard to understand, like being in the right place at the wrong time. Puzzle pieces that didn't quite fit together, an extra inch of space prohibiting them from seeing all the possibilities that the truth could bring. They were walking the same path, just in parallel lines that never crossed.

But then he'd been rejected, thrown away and able to realize how fucking stupid it was to let Peter go when being near the kid, it felt like finally breathing after residing in the deep end of a pool for a thousand years. So Tony ran after him one day, crashed into his AP English class, half assed an excuse for the baffled teacher, yanked Peter out of the room and proceeded to have the best make out session of his life with his back against the kid's locker. And now they don't lie, ever.

Which is why it's so hard to accept Peter's, “You're beautiful, Tony. The handsomest man I've ever seen in my life. I loved you before, I love you now, I'll love you forever, Anthony Stark. You carrying our kid doesn't change that, how could it, Tony? It's going to be ok. The three of us will be ok and I won't stop thanking whoever decided I'd get to marry my wet dream.”

Scorching kisses trace his pulse point slowly, sharp nails start dragging against a too thin shirt, but it's the fact that Peter hasn't looked away from him, is confidently holding his gaze through the glass, that makes Tony shudder and stop breathing.

The bathroom is flooded with pheromones, cinnamon and honey assaulting an unprepared billionaire, and he'll die if they stay like this, can't function properly, brain switching gears, trying valiantly to remember baseball stats, past wounds, May's cooking because Peter's gonna wreck his sanity if those hands keep winding down, if those lips don't stop unraveling him like a Christmas present.

“If I'd known you'd get this handsy and romantic, I would have complained about how I look earlier." It's a gasp, half murmur, half plea as Peter grins at him shamelessly. “I know it's rude and wrong and sexist, but I like comforting my omega, acting like a stereotypical alpha. Makes me feel like I'm doing my job of making you happy. “

He quirks an eyebrow, is glad Peter can be comfortable enough to take the reins every once in a while. “You're telling me that assuring me I'm still drop dead gorgeous, “ his husband snorts, nips at Tony's shoulder for that quip, “ makes you horny because you feel like an alpha comforting, and I quote, ‘your omega’? “

Peter reverts back to the shy teenager who could barely ask a girl out to the homecoming dance, ducks his head into Tony’s neck with a blush quickly spreading over damp skin. “Well, I've got news for you, sweetheart. Your wet dream also thoroughly enjoys it so you better break tradition and have sex with me to remind me I'm the hottest man you've ever seen. "

He's actually serious about this, his self esteem hasn't exactly been, you know, the best and Tony's mood always improves significantly after playing around in bed with Peter. Besides, it's a sign of trust. Peter won't hurt him or their child, will be able to hold back his strength. He always does.

Listen, it's not exactly moral, but he has more than enough problems to go ahead and analyze his attraction and dependency on Peter while pregnant.

“So, I can distract you from your bad thoughts by acting sort of possessive and taking you to bed? " Oh, he adores when his husband is afraid of showing a new side of himself and asks for permission ever so sweetly.

“Babe, if you don't, I'll kick you out of the apartment. Give me possessive Peter Parker any day you want, like I'm gonna complain about a gorgeous, brilliant twenty something year old all over me. Now what's it gonna be, alpha dear, bathroom or bedroom? I wouldn't mind the tile but, oh God, I forgot you could pick me up." Tony clings to broad shoulders, can't help but laugh because aren't they a pair?

-------------------------

After having what he's sure was the best sex of his life, Tony stumbles out of the bedroom with torn clothes, a dazed look in his eyes and several bruises blossoming around his neck. Peter's halfway out the doorway when Tony whistles, makes sure all their family is paying attention, blurts out, “Peter and I are having a kid. I'm pregnant, woohoo, it's great, it's amazing, save your congratulations for later. We'll do a proper thing soon, if anyone interrupts and they're not dying, I'll kill you myself. See you in a few hours, " and yanks him back in while Friday activates Sock on the Doorknob Protocol.

Rhodey and Nat clink glasses while waiting on the others to pay up on their bets regarding Tony and Peter's odd behavior.

--------------------------

Later, much later, like, two days later, they have a proper dinner with their family in the tower. There are balloons and streamers, cake and ice cream, warm hugs and gentle cheek kisses, subtle tears and full on weeping (Happy had to borrow a box of Kleenex), pictures and videos and a pile of gifts taller than Tony.

The most important thing, though, is that the A.I recorded the reaction after Clint asked about baby names. He's grateful they went to the doctor before tonight. The visit revealed a treasure Tony thought he'd never have. Now it's time to reveal it to their pack.

His husband snuggles up to him, is so ecstatic the whole dining room smells like cinnamon and honey, like joyous love he'll never get enough of. Tony grins at him, curls their hands together and repeats the same thing over and over again in his head.

It'll be ok. They'll be ok. If the universe keeps giving Tony the greatest gifts he could ever want, maybe it's time he stopped looking at the horse's mouth. That's how it goes, right? Right.

He turns to look at Peter, loves him so much it aches, feels tiny feet pressing against his stomach. Guesses he's not the only one smitten with this incredible human being.

“We were thinking Marie,” Peter smiles at him, eyes lit up and lovely.

Tony is never going to forget this moment, this warmth in his chest.

“And Benjamin Parker-Stark.”

Their family loses their shit and both Friday and Karen have ample proof.

(@puppypeter look, omega tones! @tonystarkisaslut thank you so much for allowing me to use the prompt board! I am still accepting prompts! Although I can't guarantee getting them ready within a few days, I'll try to finish them on the one week mark depending on how long the fic is!)

[wandercrss]

‹ kathryn newton. cis woman. she/her. muse 1q. › cassandra ‘cass’ mitchell is back in rochdale for the summer. they’re currently twenty two years old and are known as the lot soul of the rioters, especially after they were constantly skipping classes and smoking during school hours. they graduated in 2017 and since then they’ve been nomadically moving from place to place working odd jobs. they decided to come back for the summer because she’s alone and secretly feels like the rioters are the only family she’s ever had. let’s hope they have the summer of their dreams! ( jess. she/her. 24. est. )

trigger warnings: death, abandonment, drug mention

full character page here

G E N E R A L

FULL NAME: cassandra elaine mitchell

NICKNAME(S): cass

TROPE: the lost soul

B A S I C S

AGE: twenty-two (22) 

BIRTHDAY: november 1, 1998

NATIONALITY: american

ETHNICITY: caucasian

GENDER: cis-woman

PRONOUNS: she/her/hers

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: panromantic

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: pansexual

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: liberal 

RELIGION: atheist 

OCCUPATION: moves from job to job / currently looking for something new

R E L A T I O N S H I P S

PARENTS: kristen mitchell (mother - estranged), biological father (unknown)

SIBLINGS: penelope mitchell (older half-sister - deceased)

SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): none.

CHILDREN: none.

CLOSEST FRIENDS: tbd.

RIVALS: tbd.

ENEMIES: tbd.

P H Y S I C A L   T R A I T S

FACECLAIM: kathryn newton

EYE COLOR: blue

HAIR COLOR: blonde

HEIGHT: 5′5

BODY BUILD: slim

NOTABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: eyes

AESTHETIC/STYLE: casual (punk undertones...yes, i’m making that up)

P E R S O N A L I T Y

POSITIVE TRAITS: brave, determined, adventurous, loyal

NEGATIVE TRAITS: resentful, secretive, deceptive, isolating

TYPICAL MOOD/EXPRESSION:  neutral

ZODIAC SIGN: scorpio

MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful evil

ENNEAGRAM: type eight - the challenger

MBTI: entj

HOGWARTS HOUSE: slytherin

M I S C E L L A N E O U S

SKILLS: getting out of trouble, making something you’d least expect an adventure, thought-out pranks, ‘hangover cures’ 

HOBBIES: sketching/photography, pulling a prank on friends, smoking/drinking, more to come

FEARS/PHOBIAS: being left completely alone, losing those she loves

FAVORITES: iced coffee, burritos, thunderstorms, sunrises over sunsets

B I O G R A P H Y

cassandra elaine mitchell, mostly known as cass, was the second child born to kristen mitchell on november 1, 1998. cass’s upbringing was known to be rocky, at best. kristen was a single mother to cass and her older half-sister, penelope. cass and penelope were almost seven years apart in age, but that couldn’t get in the way of their bond. 

from a young age, penelope felt very protective over cass. part of that was out of necessity. see, kristen wasn’t exactly committed to the whole mother-gig. penelope and cass weren’t apart of her plan, just byproducts of drunken one-night-stands. kristen often had trouble holding down a job and seemed more invested in finding herself a relationship to dive into. when it came to being a mother, though, she often didn’t even try. she relied on penelope a lot as the girl got older, even leaving the young child in charge for days at a time as kristen went off on another bender or to another party. penelope tried to shield cass from a lot of it, but that wasn’t an easy job. 

when penelope turned 19, kristen was even more of a mess than usual. she had lost her job completely, their home was about to be repossessed, and the woman just couldn’t handle it all. so, she disappeared. packed up and left, leaving cass under penelope’s care. 

it was less than ideal for a 19-year-old to now be on her own taking care of a 12-year-old child, but penelope and cass were closer than anything. they knew they could make it work. now that it was just the two of them, they didn’t have to worry about their mother coming in and screwing things up. penelope began working two jobs in town so she and cass could rent a tiny one bedroom. it was tough, but it brought penelope and cass together. 

with penelope at work so often, cass was suddenly on her own more and more. it was lonely and isolating, so she decided she would find adventure for herself. cass was always an explorer. a wanderer, as penelope would often call her. she liked to dive into unknown territory, discover new things, and jump off high places just to see how it would feel. it drove penelope crazy, but it made cass feel alive. 

cass always prioritized herself over school. it wasn’t that she wasn’t smart. it was that she hated the idea of being cooped up in a classroom for eight hours every day. she became known for her skill in cutting classes. 

when cass was in high school, she started to make more and more friends. eventually, she found herself apart of the group known as the rioters. other than penelope, cass had never really had a family. and slowly but surely, the rioters really became to feel like one. she was their very own sarcastic, jaded, adventurous lost soul. some of her best memories ever were with the rioters. 

as high school came to a close, cass had to decide what was next. most of her friends were off to exciting things, but cass didn’t have a plan. neither did penelope. but the older girl was exhausted all of the time, having spent half of her 20s just working to put a roof over their heads. so, the two decided to leave rochdale behind and actually see what else the world had to offer. after graduation, they jumped in their car and were off. 

they spent many years travelling...setting up shop in small towns where they could earn some money, spending nights eating one-dollar cheeseburgers and sleeping in their car. it was far from glamorous. but it was exciting. all they needed was each other. cass would take photos, documenting their journey. they would pick up jobs in retail during the holiday season or waitress at a local diner for a few months until they decided to move on.  they lived their lives month-to-month. week-to-week. minute-to-minute. 

eventually, penelope felt like they should think about settling down somewhere. as much as she enjoyed the adventure with her sister, she craved stability. cass didn’t agree. this was the life she liked. nomadic. impermanent. nowhere they could hang around too long and risk getting hurt. they fought about it. weeks went by, and the two still couldn’t agree. hurtful things were said, accusations were made. cass and penelope had finally found the thing between them they just couldn’t settle. 

one night, cass stormed out of their motel, having had enough of her sister. little did she know, penelope went after her. she drove around all night looking for her sister, but it was no use. penelope was starting to feel tired behind the wheel. she decided to go back to the motel, thinking perhaps cass had returned. on her way back, penelope was drifting, trying like hell to stay awake. she didn’t even realize when she had run the stop sign. then...crash. 

the police were already at the motel when cass decided to head back. she found them there, lights flashing, waiting. they told her about penelope and the crash. they told her about how her sister, her person, died instantly from the impact. and that day, something inside cass broke. 

as soon as she could, cass packed up her stuff and left. she was full of anger and resentment. she hated the world, but mostly, she hated herself. cass continued to travel around, now on her own. she spent a lot of time in colorado, working on a horse farm. but she couldn’t let anyone get close to her. she was incredibly lonely. after almost a year of life without penelope, cass felt herself drawn back to rochdale. for how long? she didn’t know. maybe just the summer seeing old friends would do her some good. but she was afraid to admit the truth. she needed them. the rioters. the only family she had left.

C U R R E N T L Y

cass has just come back to rochdale for the summer. she is looking forward to seeing her old friends again, but she is more than scared to admit how much she feels like she needs them. she intends to play it cool...exercising her usual bit of not letting people in. at least, not enough to see the pieces of her she keeps hidden away. 

having been on the road for a long time, cass isn’t used to staying put, so she might start to feel a little restless. despite her loss, she still craves adventure and maybe even a bit of recklessness.

C O N N E C T I O N S / P L O T S

partner in crime: i would love for there to be someone who was cass’s ride or die, her partner in crime while they were in the rioters. 

on-again-off-again: cass is bad relationships, but there could have been someone she was in that classic on-again-off-again relationship with. she probably cares about them a lot, but just couldn’t let her go there. 

unrequited love: come on, she would also be the type to have head a friend that was like in love with her or something, but she never knew or never wanted to admit that she knew. 

frenemies: someone she bumped heads with a lot. maybe they got in each other’s way or just couldn’t stand each other. 

exes (flings, hook-ups, brief relationships etc): anything like this i’m totally game for.

hateship: am i a sucker for a hateship/enemies-to-lovers trope? perHAPS

anything at all: i am truly open for anything. please don’t be afraid to ask if you think she fits something you want for your character too. i can be bad at asking for plots so please don’t hesitate to hit me up!! :) 

[windblooms]

matchups.

hihi :’) way overdue – but here are the matchup requests that i received.  please check for yours below if it was sent in!  ctrl+f on desktop for your mbti/zodiac, or something you remember adding in if the post is too long to scroll through.

Hello! I'm INFP and 98% Type 4 & 92% Type 9. I'm a sun Pisces & moon Aquarius. I'm fairly introverted but can be kinda silly if I'm trying to be social. I'm also empathetic & sympathetic with plenty of self-confidence issues. My main hobbies are playing games, looking into social issues, thinking about game characters,etc. I keep bouncing between visions but Geo might be fitting since current Geo characters are a little more on the introverted side. Not sure if I'm late but wanted to try <3 I'm the INFP Pisces & Aquarius Geo asker and forget to mention that I'd like 1 platonic and 1 romantic!

romantic match-up: kaeya.

although it might be odd at first to pair him with a sensitive and introverted soul such as yourself, on the contrary, kaeya won’t have any issues relating to your emotional nature, even if outwardly it doesn’t seem so (behind his light-hearted and diplomatic dialogue, he’s got a transactional relationship with the knights he’s “loyal” to; his own brother is distasteful towards him; and he’s got an agenda that goes against everything he currently lives with.)  he’ll get a knack out of teasing you when the mood is fitting, and while he may not be the one to give you the best of pep-talks, his self-assured disposition does have its uses: confident words soothe over the creases of your worries and troubling thoughts, and when things are more light-hearted, the two of you will bounce off of each others’ playful mannerism.

platonic match-up: barbara.

barbara is a sweetheart who’s incredibly devoted to both her companions and her aspirations.  wholesome and energetic, she’s sure to keep you on your toes dancing, whether it be about how beautiful it is outside or the potential of a rainbow after a storm.  while she’s a clear extrovert, barbara is also insightful to the feelings of others – after all, an idol must understand her crowd! – so she’s sure to dial down the energy if you’re ever feeling weary that day.

hihi !! can i please submit myself for the matchups ? i'm intp-t, scorpio sun and leo moon. i'm 5'11, female, and am described to be a very energetic person. i like to think optimistically and have a special love for philosophy and chemistry !! my hobbies include reading and writing - i've also recently picked up baking. i think i would have a hydro vision in genshin - hydro users tend to be healers, and i think that's something i would specialize in. can i please have 2 romantic matchups 🥺

i'm the scorpio sun leo moon intp matchup ask !! i forgot to mention that my enneagram type is seven, sorry 😔

romantic match-ups: childe/tartaglia and jean. 

childe hyperfixates on individuals he deems strong.  while this usually translates into people who have experience on the battle field, in your case, he finds it admirable that you’re able to keep up with so many hobbies and interests.  your thirst for new experiences and stimuli is akin to his own sense of adventure, and your devotion to each and every one of them resonates with his own conviction to his aspirations.  you’re strong mentally, and when you interact, he always has to dedicate himself to you fully in order to keep up; there’s never a dull moment when you’re around him.

a workaholic in denial, jean’s position as acting grand master never gives her a break.  she’ll insist that she’s fine, that she’s content with her oversight of the knights, that they are her priority.  and while this is true, when you talk about how your interests range from chemistry to baking, it’ll remind her of the time she doesn’t have to do “normal people things.”  again, not that she’s miserable with the knights, far from it – it’s just that your life and spontaneity reminds her of the things outside of the knights that she wishes she could do, too.  your genuine energy never fails to make her smile – perhaps you were who she’s been waiting for.

hi, congrats on the 1k followers! i really enjoy your writing and i’m glad to see that you’re doing well! i hope the rest of 2021 goes well for you!

for the matchup event, i’d like one platonic and one romantic relationship. i'm an infp, 6w5, scorpio sun and virgo moon. my attention span isn’t the best and i’m an impulsive dumbass, but i still manage to get good grades somehow. i try to be sociable, but i have a habit of clamming up so i usually just end up sticking to the people i know. i’m kinda all or nothing with the effort i put into things; i run out of steam pretty easily so i tend to leave things unfinished, which i hate, but sometimes i’ll go wild and finish a semester-long project in one afternoon. overall, i really like helping others and being seen as reliable! i was really dependent on others in the past, and although i still kinda am now, i’m trying to be someone others can depend on.

as for hobbies, i mostly just play video games and scary stories. i’m also into a lot of crafts, particularly knitting and bracelet-making. i find the motions relaxing, but i enjoy it the most when i have someone to make things for.

as for my vision, i think hydro suits me best because it seems more support-oriented overall, which is the kind of role i’d like to have. however, that doesn’t mean that it can’t be used to do some serious damage if needed.

has lots of energy that’s hard to direct, but can plow through things they set their mind to.  likes security of things they know, and wants to give security as well.  creative outlets.  seems a bit finicky?  but insightful with their own emotions. 

romantic match-up: mona.

outwardly stubborn but inwardly self-critical, mona has dedicated her entire life to the stars, and it shows: her masterful grip on astrology is nothing to scoff at, and she’s arguably the most practiced mage in all of teyvat.  at first, she’ll be baffled at your impulsiveness and “lack of focus”: how will you ever get anything done? she’ll wonder.  but when you prove her time and time again that you can plow right through an obstacle just like scissors through paper, so long as it seizes your interest, she’ll take moments to think about her own outlook on life.  when she realizes your comfort in abstract, artistic past-times, she might ask cutely for you to teach her.  surely, if she can talk to the stars, she can make bracelets . . . ?  o-of course they’d be for you!  who else would they be for, if not someone she deems endearing.

platonic match-up: beidou. 

the personification of a tidal wave, beidou’s ferocity hits hard and leaves a mark.  the two of you will find it easy to bounce off of each others’ ideas – maybe even concerningly so to the rest of the crew – and hell, she might even sway you to sneak into a hilichurl village to steal some carrots if it’ll provide for some overdue fun.  lots of  pats  slaps on the back, and she’ll always beckon you over when she learns about something new, thinking that you might find it interesting, and when she wants someone else’s input.  she trusts your judgement like family, and knows that you’ve always got her.

hi! i would like to request a genshin character matchup (2 romantic). my mbti is infj and enneagram 2. i am a cancer sun and aries moon. i am calm and reliable, but i do have a mischievous side and use a lot of dry humor. when it comes to having fun, i like to enable others! i am also deeply passionate about community service. my hobbies include yarn crafting. my genshin vision would be cryo because i am highly motivated by love/emotion, can come off as cold, and love the ice aesthetic! tysm!

romantic match-ups: diluc and lisa.

often broody and contemplative, diluc has a whirlwind of thoughts in that hard head of his.  through your first interactions, he’ll piece together your intense devotion towards your loved ones and willingness to help others.  he’ll warn you that you should take time to consider yourself, too, and that it shouldn’t always be give, give, give, but those same traits in you that he worries about are the same qualities that draw him in.  once, too, he was as uninhibited as you, had the same energy.  perhaps it’s because you’re both so similar, both in internal hopes and mannerisms, is why he finds it easier to loosen up – even if he doesn’t immediately let go of that deadpan attitude of his when he knows you can come back just as hard.

she’s enthralled by your willingness to engage in her banter.  often, those she teases (flirtatiously or otherwise) leave with a red face and an adorable stutter, but it just so happens that you’re one to fluster her instead.  it’s been a long time since she’s met someone who can keep her guessing, yet is incredibly insightful to themselves and those around them.  she finds your qualities of fun and sincerity to be charming.  you’re a breath of fresh air compared to the stern knights she’s around all day, and she looks forward to meeting you after work, conversing with you as you walk down mondstadtian streets and eat over dinner.  there’s never a dull quip from your lips, and she’d love to hear everything on your mind.

hii hope I'm not making this too hard on u lol one romantic and one platonic please! either gender is fine I'm bi as Hecc mbti: enfp-t sun taurus moon aries I think my vision would be cryo because people say it's connected to loss and I've lost some pretty important people to me and also. I hate the heat I really like cards, wolves and the stars, my hobbies include working with robots and the general aesthetic of the mid 2000s, my favorite season is winter and I love buying ppl gifts ♡

platonic match-up: chongyun. 

immediately, your avoidance of heat and affinity to the calm will give him someone to relate to, and your attraction to the abstract will pique his interests.  (perhaps, once he’s become more confident with his exorcist abilities, he could pick up some of your hobbies?)  your practicality, in contrast to his often self-critical mindset, will ground him in times of need, and he’ll always ask you if he can help you out in return.  while he looks up to you as an individual, he’s honored to also be your friend, or at least someone you devote time to.

romantic-matchup: ningguang.

you both understand sacrifices and loss.  while it’s a rather bleak realization upon getting to know each other, your rationality and perseverance despite the past stirs her respect for you; your mindsets are incredibly alike, and she’ll often input your reasoning into her plans, and deem you a trusted associate of the liyue qixing.  in her demanding position, you are someone she can readily relate to and rely on.  in times when things are less hectic and the two of you can more freely relax, she’ll indulge in a shopping spree with you.  as someone who’s intimate with her in both profession and emotional relations, she’d love to show her gratitude. 

hi! i'd like to participate on the match up event!

i'm an infp, and also type six on the enneagram test, my sun sign is aries and my moon sign is pisces. i like arts in general with my favourite ones being music and painting, but i also enjoy writing and i spend a lot of time songwriting! also as a person i'm rlly clumsy and i kind of look mean bc of my resting bitch face lol. i think my vision would be anemo because i think it can be really useful in many ways and i like the reactions it has with other visions. i'd like two romantic match ups! i hope this was understandeable, as my english isn't the best. thank you! 💌

romantic-matchups: mona and zhongli.

mona will find your interest in the arts intriguing.  you always seem to get ideas at the most random of times, often startling her with how active your mind is.  and despite how she doesn’t reply much in return – she’s not versed in words or drawings, even if she won’t verbally admit it – you seem to be satisfied with her . . . reactions?  even if the most she can relate them to is astrology, it seems to be enough for you, so long as she isn’t uptight that day.  your creativity and attraction to the abstract gives her comfort: there aren’t many people in mondstadt who appreciate her profession, so even if you aren’t into the exact same things, she’ll at least know that there’s someone who looks forward to seeing her.

on his quest to “learn what being a human” is, zhongli encounters a myriad of occupations.  typically, the people of liyue are wound up with economics and realism, but your joy in the possibilities – how you can convey your emotions, through what mediums – of life has to offer reminds him of humanity.  with you, he’ll explore what mortals call “the small things” in life: akin to the spark of appreciation for flying lanterns, autumn-colored lights at night, feelings of wonder – that’s what you instill in him. 

hello!! id like a matchup please!! im an INTP-T and im Type 5,, im capricorn sun and libra moon. im a reserved person and kind of angry all the time,, and i get overwhelmed easily. im not that good with affection,, but me actually welcoming you into conversation or my room or smthn, or actually responding to you means something. im just scared to be open with affection because its always done me wrong in the past. anyways,, id like a platonic matchup and romantic matchup please!! thank u and congrats!!🥳🥳❤️❤️

hello,, im that Capricorn sun libra moon anon,,, very sorry to disturb you,,, but i didn’t mention what my vision would be!! i think id be pyro,, ive always been a bit cold or i usually shun people away,, so i think id be cryo!!!! or maybe hydro because im constantly having a mental breakdown LMAO(but i fr think id be cryo)

platonic match-up: sucrose.

while she’s constantly on-edge from work, sucrose will always make time to check on her dear friend.  after all, you do the same for her, even if you insist that you might not have the right words ready.  “partners in stress,” kaeya would teasingly dub the two of you as, but you don’t pay mind to him.  as quiet and reserved individuals, you find tranquility within each others’ company.  

romantic match-up: venti.

whimsical and regarded as a mere bard by most, venti puts up a convincing front.  but it’s just that: a front.  the real venti is concealed by a chipper voice and mercurial agenda, when underneath, there’s a solemn musician who’s burdened.  you’ll most likely be off-put by his facade, as he’s trained himself to constantly be lively – comes with being a performer – but will soon find that he understands your turmoil.  he’s not the best with sentimental words, but will instead convey his sympathies through strums of his lyre.  while it isn’t obvious that there’s security in freedom, he’ll be sure to encourage you that there’s a way.

Hello Al! For the match-up event would it be possible for me to ask for 1 romantic and 1 platonic? As for my MBTI I am an INFJ-T. As for the ennseagram I am 98% type five and 90% type 6. I am a Taurus sun and an Aquarius moon. I tend to come off as polite and often times a bit shy/reserved irl. I love learning new things. Conversations that have all parties thinking critically are definitely my favorites. My hobbies are writing, drawing, learning new things, reading, and playing video games. As for Genshin vision I'd have to say cryo. I've taken a quiz on quotev and got a tie between cryo and anemo. Cryo's description seemed to fit my personality better. I also seem to have a connection with the cold. Let me know if you need any more info. Remember to take care of yourself. ~Taylor💙

platonic match-up: albedo.

you both have your inquisitive sides, and albedo is more than willing to talk to you about his discoveries.  while he might not proactively reach out to you – more like, if you’re nearby, and he happens to catch you peeping at his work, he’ll engage with you.  he finds your takes thought-provoking and your candor respectful; a fellow of agreeable disposition, your calmness and supplementing nature also makes it easy for him to work.

romantic match-up: zhongli.

both intuitive and practical in your approaches, zhongli’s given a new perspective when you converse, or at least, a new thing to ponder over.  many regard him as stiff besides his gentlemanly disposition; your focused and insistent care will enrapture him as heartwarming, that there are “acceptable” vulnerabilities, but they’re not weak points at all – far from it.  your security and assuredness is harmonious with your emotion insight, making for a stable lifestyle that he easily molds into.  the conversations that the two of you engage in are nothing short of provocative.  just as much as he learns from you, he also provides with tales of the old days. 

Is - is the matchup thing still relevant? If not you can just ignore this message - its ok, i know ur busy :)

If it is still on tho, i wonder if i could get a platonic and romantic one?

Im a INFP-T(??), Type 4, pisces sun sag moon.

Im a dumb nerd with big glasses who loves t shirts with puns ot jokes on it. Im not sure about my hobbies, i just like anything that can make me think - memes, books, music, games with lore. I dont like boring, overly normal stuff. I have shitty sense of direction and i suck at math.

I think that my vision would be anemo since thats (i think) an element that requires both creativity and knowledge to work with, which is very special and interesting to me.

Thank you so much in advance! Or sorry if i sent this too late 😅

platonic match-up: xinyan.

both of you are free-flowing and seek excitement.  you’re the gasoline to xinyan’s match: you both feed off of each others’ knack for new things, stimuli, and the bold.  you could be walking down the streets of liyue, eating bags of mora meat, and then suddenly run down to the northern wharf to catch passing boats and playfully debate over which snobby aristocrat is being shipped off.  there’s never a dull moment between the two of you, and the plan is always no plan.  spontaneity is the name of the game, and it’s one that you can go at for ages. 

romantic match-up: beidou.

there’s hardly a moment to breathe on the crux fleet, that’s for sure.  be prepared to explore the entirety of teyvat with beidou, because she’s got you covered with all of your “new thing” needs, alongside your ocean-borne family.  she’ll find it humorous that you’re not practiced in navigation – ironic for a seafarer.  but steering is complex, and she’d gladly help you out in learning, just another thing to do in a day’s work. 

Hi! For the match up event, I'm 98% type 3 and a 97% type 7, I'm am Intp and my moon sign is scorpio, my sun sign is Pisces. I'm above than average in math and I like to draw from time to time, I've tried to learn the ukelele but ultimately failed. I'd like my vision to be an electro cause my fav color is purple and I like how the electricity sparks and stops my enemies, I'm also a fan fic writer and love manhwas

Hi! I'm the last anon that you reminded that should have put 2 romantic in the ask! Sorry about that, it just completely flew over my head

romantic match-ups: ningguang and childe/tartaglia.

your ambition knows no bounds, and your drive is a force to be reckoned with.  some may call your approaches headstrong, but your ability to take initiative is something that ningguang greatly admires.  it’s something she professes that you two have in common – granted, even if her economic tendencies are more cutthroat.  while the two of you have incredibly firm opinions that might send shocks across the room you’re debating in, ningguang trusts your rational thought and explorative mindset.  your like-mindedness, in this instance, brings great relief to her in her position.

childe is also someone who would take interest in you.  he’s not one for schemes like the rest of the harbingers, and would appreciate your straightforward approaches and the focused energy you put into each project/obstacle you face.  it makes it easier for him to speak his mind, and he’ll find comradery with you fairly easy to come by.  gradually, the zeal the two of you share can draw you into more adventures, and he’ll have someone he can call a trustworthy partner. 

Hello! For your generous match-up event, could I request two romantic matches please? My MBTI type is INFP and my enneagram type is four. My sun sign is Aries and my moon is Gemini. I am a quiet but curious person who can be really flirty and sarcastic in private. I am very caring to those I love. My hobbies including writing and drawing. For my vision, I think I would be cryo? I’m a secretive person who has trust issues and can be cruel. I love your blog, you’re so skilled! Thank you so much!

romantic match-ups: kaeya and jean.

you’re a trusted soul by all, even if many also regard you as reserved.  kaeya isn’t one to grow attached (it’s hindered him in the past), however after being paired with you on multiple missions, he’ll feel more at ease around you due to your good nature.  your duality is also a breath of fresh air, and each time he talks to you afterwards, he’s reminded that there are individuals who have others’ best interests at heart.  many knights will catch the two of you tossing jokes back and forth at each other, but for once, kaeya isn’t trying to swindle anybody. 

the acting grand master has a lot on her plate, but she finds that when she’s in your company, the tray is a little lighter.  she relates to your sincerity and good intentions, a welcome refresher in the world of forced diplomacy and tedious hours.  you also seem to know just the right things to say to lighten the mood, with a cute smile to top it all off. 

hello! Could I request 2 romantic match-up? I'm ENFP, enneagram 2w3. Sun Sagittarius, Moon Scorpio, Asc. Virgo. My hobbies consist of anything generally creative, gaming/anime, hanging out with friends esp!! I'm the type of person to show affection by physical touch and by gentle ribbing-- I love making other people laugh. I'm always down to do things, new or not, and an honest and easy-going person. My Vision would be Geo bc I think it reflects how I am as a person-- stable n loyal :) thank u!!

romantic match-ups: venti and beidou. 

no one would’ve thought that you and venti would be a pair – then again, when they consider your tendencies for jokes and charisma, it’ll all come together.  wherever the two of you go, laughter follows, like dandelions in the breeze.  venti hits it off with you almost immediately after you meet, your natural social nature enabling easy conversation.  you’re also very zealous with topics that pique your interest.  it’s a genuine, eager curiosity that he can’t help but consider endearing.

the two of you are always searching for new things, be it small islands in the horizon or neat little specialties that you manage to catch in the corner of your eye.  there’s never a dull moment when the two of you get going on ideas, and while you may be the more rational, beidou will always insist on adding some more “zest” into whatever you come up with.  if you push her, she might accidentally shove you off the boat with the playful enthusiasm of a golden retriever. 

Hiya~! Thank you both for doing this! For the character match-up, I'd like to request two (2) Romantic please lmao, with a side of French fries.

I'm an INFP, Libra sun/Scorpio moon. My external personality might lead ppl to think I'm a charismatic extrovert, but that's the face I show for the 5 whole minutes I'm socializing, and then return to my introvert turtle shell for the next week. I cycle through hobbies since I get bored quickly, but I always come back to music since singing is my passion. I know for sure my Vision would be Anemo bc I need to be free to feel comfortable and tend to react rather aggressively when I feel restrained 🤔

I'm deeply emotional, sometimes impulsive, and dislike relying on others. I tend to be cat-like in my affections... sometimes I Love, other times Do Not Want. Except for animals, they always get my love ❤ ehehe....

romantic match-ups: mona and kaeya.

mona considers your nature incredibly easy to grasp.  but don’t take it as an insult or offense – in fact, your simplicity is a constant in mona’s life: you like time to yourself, and when you’re alone is when your energy comes out.  she doesn’t have to worry about reading too much into your feelings when she can see that you’re independent.  your interactions are calm and reassuring; she doesn’t have to be uptight around you, because she knows you trust in her abilities and lifestyle, and security with herself and those she cares about is her top priority. 

kaeya’s able to relate to your social tendencies.  there’s a front that he puts up in front of his colleagues (purely for professional purposes) before reverting back to his natural state of mind.  he finds your distance understandable, and considers it something the two of you have in common.  when you talk one-on-one, it’s easy to bounce ideas off of each other about mondstadtian culture and other topics of interest; while your independent natures may lead to some time apart, there will always be fresh experiences waiting when you do meet again.

[atiny-ahgase]

The Magic Of Love

Author’s note: Hey everyone it’s Gabby again. I’ve had this idea for a while now, but I just didn’t have time to write it, I hope that you all like it. I’m not really familiar with Witchcraft and honestly, I’m not familiar with anything even remotely mystical but I just got this idea and thought that it was cool. So, this is it, hope you like it.

Summary: Y/n is trying their best to balance being a witch and university student at the same time. While they were out shopping for materials they bump into a rather handsome stranger. Small talk revealed that they actually had some classes together like Medieval History and Literature. They soon became hyper-aware of his presence and began wishing for his company. Not trusting your own charms to impress him you decide to conjure up your charms ‘if you get my drift’. What happens when you turn to magic to solve your problems?

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Pairing: Hongjoong x Gender Neutral Reader

Word Count: 4.8k

Genre: Fluff, School au

Contains: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Magic but not really, Gender Neutral Reader,

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Releasing a loud sigh as you feel your perspiration dripping from your brow. “Why did I have to go shopping on literally the hottest day of the year?” you thought as you took a left down the alley slightly tripping over a piece of trash. “There is a trash can like 1 centimetre away, what the hell?” you state while looking at the trashcan in question. With your attention focused on the sheer laziness and disregard that individuals had for their surroundings and the environment as a whole you didn’t notice that you were walking while not exactly looking where you were going. The fact only becoming aware to you when you bumped into someone, causing you to drop along with all of your brown paper grocery bags onto the cold street floor.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry,” you begin while looking up at the stranger whom you collided with. Looking up at him the first thing you realized was his bright blue hair. The cold hue contrasting with the warmth of this eyes. His hair reminded you of the crystal clear skies, vast and beautiful, deep and mesmerizing. His eyes like the brown tree trunks that bordered your childhood home; a brilliant brown filled with life and warmth. “No it’s my fault,” you heard the stranger say, the cheerful tone in his voice catching you off-guard. “Are you okay?” he inquired while bending down to help you up from the spot where you had fallen.

“I’m fine, thanks,” you begin, “I’m a lot tougher than I look”, you beamed at him. You had never seen anyone as handsome as he was; surely you would have remembered. Looking up at him you smile brightly as you hear him release a soft chuckle at your comment, his dazzling smile shining like the midday sun, beautiful and blinding. You grasped his hand in yours, face heating up as you feel the warmth of his hand. Rising up from the floor you quickly dust off your jeans and palms before thanking the kind stranger.

“Thank you, and it really wasn’t your fault,” you confessed, “I just zoned out for a minute.” “Well as long as you’re okay then I guess it doesn’t really matter who’s at fault it is,” he replied before shrugging slightly. Stooping down you begin to retrieve all of your fallen items, placing them back into their bags. As you stayed on the floor you heard the steps of the blue-haired boy begin to fade, guess he’s leaving now.

After collecting all of your things you stand up, holding the paper bags in your hands once more. “I think you forget something,” you hear a voice just a few steps ahead of you. “This one must have gotten away from you,” he joked before handing you a silver can. The sun shone off of its ridges, reflecting the light onto the dark, dismal alleyway walls. “Thank you...again,” you say shyly before taking the can and placing it in your bag. “I’m Hongjoong by the way,” he says while extending his hand to you before pulling it back towards him, a look of embarrassment clearly on his face. “Sorry, your hands are full, you couldn’t shake my hand anyway-,” he began blabbering more to himself than to you. “I’m Y/n,” you interrupted. 

He flashes you another smile as you begin to walk forward, you had finally finished shopping for all of the ingredients that you needed. Not wanting to endure the heat of the day anymore you were heading home to study your potion brewing. You had a big exam coming up and you need to pass if you wanted to be promoted to a higher rank, but at the rate, you were going that seemed almost impossible.

 ----

You had been practising witchcraft for about 5 years now; learning about it from your deceased grandmother. Things were incredibly difficult for you at the beginning as you tried to catch up with your peers. Everyone seemed to be better than you, granted you did start later than everyone else but the school board clearly didn’t care. Because of this, you struggled to make friends and eventually just gave up on the idea as a whole realizing that it wasn’t worth it. 

Usual school wasn’t as difficult to make friends but the relationships never seemed to last long, every time you even tried to get close to someone the relationship acted like a castle of sand, crumbling the moment you try to grasp it. So you cut yourself off from that part of life completely, finding the work unnecessary and the pain too detrimental. Choosing to solely focus on your studies in both usual school and magic school, convincing yourself that relationships were unnecessary especially love. Falling in love was like basically signing your own death wish, like falling off a cliff to your rocky demise.

You were now entering university as well as still furthering your studies in the art of witchcraft. You knew that it was going to be difficult but you weren’t willing to part from either aspects of your life just yet. You had a huge exam coming up and needed to study your potions and spell casting, hence the reason for your unusual shopping trip. You were never really the best at potion making always seeming to choose the wrong ingredients or quantities almost always resulting in an explosion.

Hopefully, you’d have better luck in university; you were just starting a new year at a whole new school filled with a bunch of new people. You are really excited to start especially since all of your past peers opted for going to a school outside of your district. So you didn’t have to worry about your old bullies rearing their ugly heads at you.

-----

While walking you noticed that Hongjoong was going in the same direction as you, which wasn’t too odd considering that it was a pretty small town; there weren’t many places to really go. But that was one thing that you really loved about it, you found comfort in its familiarity. “So are you a local here?” you hear Hongjoong ask from beside you, probably tired of the deafening silence which had formed. “Well kinda”, you began “, I moved here when I was really young and I’ve been here ever since.” 

You both seemed to click almost instantly and you welcomed his company, it had been such a long time since you’ve actually had a real conversation with someone. For being a complete stranger he knew more about you in the few minutes that you both walked together than anyone else in your life. It was amazing how he just broke down walls that you hadn’t even realized you had formed, turning them to rubble before your very eyes. You could honestly talk to him for hours and never get bored, he made every topic sound so riveting, you found yourself hanging off of every word that escaped his lips.

To your dismay, you spotted the bright red roses of your apartment garden much sooner than you had wanted. You couldn’t hide the small frown that had spread across your face once you were hit with the realization that you’d both me parting ways soon. “This is my stop,” you state while gesturing to your apartment building. “Well, I guess that I’ll see you around the Y/n,” he chimes in, sending you another one of his stunning smiles which you immediately return.

You both say your goodbyes before you walk up to your brick staircase and enter your apartment. Upon closing your front door you lent against the cold wood, back pressed up against it you released a soft sigh. He was nice, really nice, it had been so long since you had last enjoyed having a conversation with someone. Most of your conversations lately consisted of bickering with the other witches in your class or defending yourself against the bullies in your school. You had forgotten just how much you had missed pleasant conversations like that, the last time you had smiled so brightly was when you had told your grandmother that you had gotten into magic school. She was so happy, her face lit up like the brightest star on a Christmas tree. That was one of the best memories that you had shared with her; she was always a lively spirit, her young soul would often rub off on you, convincing you to look at the world in a more exciting light. You missed her, you truly did but you’d never forgotten everything that she had taught you, all of the time that you had spent together.

-------

The blaring sound of your morning alarm cut through the silence of the early morning like a knife through butter, shattering your pleasant dreams. Sighing loudly you rollover smashing your hand against the screen in a few futile attempts to turn off your alarm. You groan as you rise from your bed rubbing your eyes in an attempt to remove all remaining sleepiness. Today was the first day of school and even though you weren't really planning on trying to impress anyone you still wanted to look good for yourself. Rolling off of bed you readied yourself for the day deciding on is a simple button-up shirt with your favourite pair of blue jeans and converse sneakers. Your jeans were slightly rolled at the ankle allowing your mismatched socks to be seen, they were honestly your favourite parts of the outfit. Flinging your leather bag over your shoulder you grabbed your phone and keys before exiting the door. The journey to university wasn't that long since your house is fairly close to the campus.

Once you had arrived on compass you unzipped your bag in search of your schedule for the day. The edges of the paper blew violently due to the strong winds you were experiencing. Clutching the paper tightly in an attempt to keep it from flying away, you quickly skimmed through the page in search of your first classroom. Reading over your schedule you notice that your 1st class of the day was , Medieval History, the second floor of the history building room 208. Carefully placing the paper back into your bag you zipped it up before briskly walking to your class. Passing numerous students and faculty members you finally made your way to the large brown building. “How long was this building established?” you wondered before pushing open the doors to enter the Hall.  

Walking to the elevator you pressed the button and waited for it to reach your floor. Standing there you rocked on the soles of your feet mind aimlessly wandering before you heard an all too familiar voice. Looking away from the closed elevator door you notice a fluffy head of bright blue hair. “Are you stalking me, mister Joong?” I enquire, a slight playfulness in my voice. He chuckles from beside you before replying “So you’re really walking around here thinking that my first name is Hong and my family name is Joong?” he queries while cocking his eyebrow at you. 

Smiling brightly you turn to him, “I actually have no idea what your last name is but I had already committed to the sentence so there was no turning back”, you reply. “So you go to school here?” he continues while entering the elevator. “Nah, I just like to take pictures in front of the art wall,” you joke while standing beside him. You reach forward to press the elevator button but your hand stops midway when you realize that your floor has already been pressed. “You heading to room 208?” you question, noticing the textbook in his hand, it's the same textbook that you have in your bag. It was seated comfortably between your journal and binder. “Who is stalking who now?” he jokes, smiling brightly while leaning against the shimmering silver of the elevator walls.

Heading into class, you both sat next to each other at the front row closest to the door. Not long after your arrival, your lecturer began well...lecturing. Retrieving your book from your bag you began diligently taking notes, your attention hanging off of every word that he spoke. Glancing over at Hongjoong you see him slightly hunched over his deck, eyebrows slightly furrowed in concentration as he writes in his book. The class was fairly short as it was the first day and before you knew it you were packing up, getting ready to head to your other class. You and Hongjoong walked side by side discussing the lecture as well as all of your other classes. “I have History now what about you?” he inquired as you both reach the ground floor of the building. “I have a free period now but I have to go to the main admin building to sort out some stuff,” you responded. “Ugh I envy those guys at admin, they get to spend more time with you,” he spoke while nudging you gently. You couldn't help the blush that crept up on your face, heating up your body. “I’ll see you next class right,” you continued before exchanging numbers with each other.

----

“Okay, so I add this powder to the base and the liquid should turn from clear to purple right?” you ask yourself while standing over your pot. This was the 5th time you were trying this out with no success. This was not the time to be messing up, your potions exam is in 1 week. At this rate, you'll never be promoted to a higher rank. Looking down at the pot you sigh defeatedly “, Still clear.” You slumped down onto the pillowy cushions of your mint green couch allowing your body to be wrapped in its soft embrace. “This isn’t amateur hour Y/n, it wasn't supposed to happen like this,” you spoke softly and you were right. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, you weren't supposed to spend all your time with him, you needed to study and you knew that but then why? Why were you so drawn to him? This had never happened before so why now? Why him?

You've been in university for 2 months now and you'd hardly studied for anything whether it be magic-related or not. But do you know what you have done? Hang out with Hongjoong a lot, you both went to the movies, campus café and library under the pretense of studying but you both just ended up talking about your favourite authors and guess what? You both liked the same writer. You had never meshed with anyone that well before. You felt like you could talk to him for hours about everything and nothing at all. He made you feel, for lack of better words, like you were floating. You could talk with him for hours and it would only seem like a few minutes to you. If you should spend your entire university life next to him you would.

But you knew that you couldn’t because he's way too popular to want you by his side 24/7. This thought became clear to you when you had agreed to meet up with Hongjoong at your University Café. Walking into the quaint little shop you were greeted by the smell of freshly baked banana bread; your favourite. Scanning the shop you quickly spotted Hongjoong sitting in the corner with 7 other guys, seemingly causing chaos in the once quiet shop. You smiled brightly as you waved at him, gulping down that feeling of social awkwardness you always get around large groups you sat next to him. He had saved a seat for you.

After ordering your coffee the guys all started to have what appeared to be a very lively conversation but you couldn't focus on anything they were saying. It was something about a party that was happening later in the week that was surely gonna have a bunch of really attractive people attending. That was kinda when you zoned out, Hongjoong was out of your league and you knew it. He was smart, sweet, talented, handsome, caring and so much more. Meanwhile, you were struggling to keep up with your workload, your hair was a mess and you have to mentally prepare yourself before even raising your hand in class to ask a question. He seemed to be so put together while you were just falling apart more and more each day.

But still, you wanted to be beside him even if it was only for a little bit longer, you weren't ready to let go of him yet. Releasing a loud sigh over how absolutely stupid you were being you plopped yourself down; rather clumsily I might add, unto your couch causing the book which was hanging on for dear life to fall onto the cold wooden floor. Bending down you realize that it was one of the magic books that you had borrowed from the library. Picking it up you see a piece of paper slip out from between the pages. Grasping it in your hands you carefully unfold it and read the words. “Love Potion”, you read “, Upon consumption, the subject will confess to the first person they see.” You rub your eyes briskly to ensure that what you were seeing was right. A potion that makes you fall in love with the first person you saw? Surely that was too good to be true. If you were to use it on- no you can't even think about using it on Hongjoong. What were you even thinking? Practicing unsanctioned magic was against the rules. But...why was that the only thing stopping you from making this potion? You are pulled from your thoughts by the ringing sound of your cell phone.

“Hello?” you answer, too preoccupied to look at the caller ID. Listening through the phone all you hear is hushed mumbling. Looking at your screen you realized that it was Hongjoong, but why would he be calling at this hour? He was supposed to be at a party with the others. He must have called you by mistake, you deduce. Readying yourself to end the call you stopped when you heard an unfamiliar voice come through the phone. “I like you,” it said. In that instance, you felt as though your entire world was crashing down before you. He was being confessed to? Why did this even shock you? Someone like Hongjoong would surely find someone to date in a matter of time, he's just that wonderful. Of course, people would fall for him, you definitely did. “Sorry,” you hear him say in that oh so sweet voice that you loved so very much “, I have my plate full with school so I don't really think that I should be getting into a relationship”.

That was all that you needed to hear. Sure you felt sorry for the person that had confessed, at least they had the balls to do it, unlike a certain someone. That was when you had finally made your choice, you were making that potion. You didn't care if you got caught by your magic teachers, Hongjoong was worth the risk. Reading over the list of ingredients you ransacked your apartment in search of everything that you needed. Thankfully you had everything since you had gone shopping for more supplies only days before. Looking over your instructions again you noticed a small disclaimer at the bottom of the page. “Disclaimer: Potion will be ineffective if the subject is already in love; there is no force stronger than true love”. Were you really going to do this? Yeah, you were.

----------------

Everything was finally in place. You had made the potion and mixed it in with cupcake batter in order to mask the taste. You had invited Hongjoong over for a study session which he immediately accepted because even he knew that you needed all the help you could get. Placing your hand over your heart you attempted to calm your breathing before he arrived. Too late. The ringing of your doorbell caused you to jump from your seat. Trying to keep your cool you opened the door and smiled at him. He wore his blue hair slightly wavy which gave it this adorable fluffy look, he looked so cute. He had a bright yellow barrett and matching yellow turtle neck which he wore under his opened coat. Upon seeing you he returned your smile before stepping into your apartment.

“Something smells good”, he states while resting his coat on your coach. “Yeah I baked cupcakes,” you chimed in while trying to sound excited. “Shouldn’t you be studying instead of baking,” he inquired while quirking a playful eyebrow at you. You chuckled at his playfulness before heading to the kitchen to grab 2 muffins. “I just wanted to thank you for coming over to help me. You didn’t have to so I really appreciate it,” you said before handing him the muffin. “What if I want that one?” he asked while pointing to the muffin in your other hand and pouting. “I picked this one out for you because it has the most blueberries and they remind me of your hair,” you whined at him. You could of sworn that you had seen him blush. “Thank you,” he mumbles before taking the muffin from your hand and taking a bite. In those moments you thought that your heart was going to explode. This was what you had been waiting for and it frightened you so much more than you had expected.

“Y/n I love”, he began while wiping the muffin crumbs off of his mouth “, these muffins”. You felt your heart sink and you knew that Hongjoong could tell. If the potion didn't work there was only one reason why; he had liked someone else. You tried your best to play it off but there was honestly no hiding your disappointment. You ate your muffin before you both sat on the couch to go over your notes and begin studying for your upcoming exam but Hongjoong knew that you weren't feeling it. “Let’s take a break okay Y/n,” he said before standing up to stretch his legs. You, however, stayed completely still on the couch, your mind somewhere else completely. 

“When exams are over Mingi is gonna hold a party, well it's more like a little get together. Do you wanna come?” Hongjoong asked from beside your window sill. The silver moonlight illuminating his face so flawlessly. Your mind wandered back to the party that Hongjoong had gone to previously, the bad memories of his confession eating you up inside. “How was the last party?” you asked, catching Hongjoong off guard. “Same old same old I guess. Would have been more fun if you were there,” he smiled at you, an uncertain look in his bright brown eyes. “So nothing interesting happened?” you pushed, you had no idea why you were pestering him. You were just so mad and disappointed in yourself that you had to let it out. Granted absolutely nothing was Hongjoong’s fault you still needed to get out your frustrations and he was the only one here so...

He paused for a moment, attempting to recall the events from that night. “San and Wooyoung threw Sangie into the pool. It was pretty funny,” he smiled at you. That had always been your weakness. He had always been your weakness. Even in your shocked and disappointed state he still managed to make you smile. You were so jealous of the person who had his heart, you hoped that they would cherish it the same way that you did. The rest of the night carried on with no hiccups, Hongjoong thought you, you kinda listened and kinda stole glances at him every chance you could get. Just because he was in love with someone else didn’t mean that you weren’t still in love with him. After about 5 hours of you being almost completely lost, Hongjoong decided that it was time to call it quits for the night. Although you were happy that you could finally be alone with your thoughts you also dreaded this moment because you had to now be alone with your thoughts. There was no Hongjoong to distract you from well...Hongjoong. You both said you goodbyes before he pulled you into a hug, one hand resting on your back as the other one stayed on the back of your head, rubbing it gently. You rested your head on his shoulder and breathed in his scent. You hand never hugged him before, he smelt of cologne and vanilla. You were determined to engrave that scent into your memory because you probably weren’t going to be getting any more hugs from him after what you were about to do.

So what if the potion didn’t work? So what if he loved someone else? Honestly, who cares? The only thing you cared about was him and you needed him to know that. You couldn’t just sit around and mope about it, you needed to let it out, otherwise, how would you heal? You gripped the back of his shirt when you felt him begin to pull away. “Just a moment more,” you thought. You felt him stiffen in your arms but he simply wrapped his arms around you once more and pulled you even closer to him. That was all it took for your heart to burst. All of the emotions that you had harboured for those 2 months, 1 week and 2 days were finally breaking through to the surface and you could do little to stop it. You felt a single run down your face, its warmth paling in comparison to the warmth of Hongjoong’s embrace. You opened your mouth to speak, thinking that it would be easier for you to confess if you didn’t have to see the disappointment in his face. But he beat you to it.

“If you keep doing things like this I’m going to get the wrong idea,” he whispered, arms engulfing your body in his own. “If you keep breaking down my walls I’ll be left defenseless,” he continued as he nuzzled his face into your neck, his warm breath tickling you slightly. Were you hearing correctly? Was he actually saying this to you? You gripped his shirt even tighter, nails slightly grazing the skin on his back, but he didn’t seem to mind. “I-If you’re defenseless,” you began while swallowing the lump in your throat, your voice shivering in anxiety “, then I’ll protect you. That’s the deal; my heart for yours.” You thought that it was impossible for Hongjoong to hold you tighter than he already was but Hongjoong always seems to find a way. “No take-backs okay? Once I give you my heart it’s yours forever,” he spoke pulling away from you, his eyes searching yours for any ounce of uncertainty. Finding none he gently cupped your cheek, his thumb aimlessly drawing circles on your skin as he smiled at you, but the smile never reached to his eyes as his hand slowly shifted down your cheek to allow his thumb to caress your lips. They quivered at the contact as your body froze under his intense gaze. You had never seen him look that way before, and the fact that he was looking at you made this moment even more unbearable.

“Joong,” you squeaked out, eyes silently pleading for him to do something, anything. Once you had broken the silence that was the last straw, it was as though your voice was the last raindrop that broke through a dam of emotion. His hand stayed on your cheek as the other wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer. In direct contrast with the hasty movements of his hands his plush lips glided across yours with such gentleness, it felt as though you were kissing a feather, light and airy. You both eventually pulled away from the kiss, in desperate need of air but that didn’t stop Hongjoong from placing small, breathless kisses along your neck and literally, anywhere he could attach his lips to. You chuckled slightly as his hair tickled your sensitive skin. Placing your hand on the nape of his neck, you caressed his head, fingers tangling in the blue ocean of his head. “I love you so much Y/n,” you hear him mumble from against your neck. You couldn’t stop the blush that had crept up your face at his words. You had dreamt about him saying those words to you for so long and now that he had finally said it you feel as though your heart was going to explode. But you couldn’t let that happen, your heart was his now. “I love you to Joongie,” you softly whisper as you wrap your arms around him.

[alorenawrites]

Thoughts on Loki, Gender, Sex, and Identity

So...I've seen a few posts on transphobia embedded in Loki and I wanted to examine my own thoughts on this a bit. I'm not going to dig too deeply, just hit on a few of my thoughts on the matter regarding my own positionality as a demisexual, demiromantic, bisexual, nonbinary, gender funky human.

To begin, my own relationship to sex and gender is complicated, based on my own experiences. I'm fine with people not having this same interpretation because of differences in experience and I'm not going to sit around and listen to anyone bombarding me with statements about how wrong they think I am. Go write a post with relevance to your own experience and please don't shit on mine. The purpose of this is to share my own thoughts on this matter, not to get into an argument. I have enough real-world stress regarding these things and don't need them on Tumblr as well.

I've seen the argument that Loki is gender fluid and it is wrong to say he is sex fluid or that sex fluidity is a way to undercut or deny the validity of gender fluidity. I don't see it this way. To begin, we don't actually see Loki display gender fluidity, even though shape-shifting is clearly within his skill set. MCU Loki shifts into Sif once in The Dark World, but other than that, there is little evidence outside of his word at this. I know those creating this story did refer to him as gender fluid, but I question whether those who stand outside that fluidity might not be as well-versed in how gender fluidity comes in a myriad of experiences. I am fine with the idea that perhaps Loki still uses traditionally male pronouns while in other shapes. I am not considering comic interpretations of Loki in this, as there are so many different storylines that I think they would be hard to sum up into this character. And it is fine if you don't see this the same way.

In myth, when Loki transforms into a maiden during the marriage of "Freya" (Thor in disguise) to Thrym, the book I reference (Neil Gaiman's retellings of the myths) does, at one point, refer to Loki as "he." When the mythological Loki transforms into the mare to lure the horse Svadilfari away from the builder of their wall, the references to the mare indicate "she" (and it is worth noting that in this retelling, the mare is never referred to as Loki by name), but when Loki returns he is referred to using male pronouns yet still as Sleipnir's mother.

In the television show, Loki's file lists his sex as fluid. As gender and sex are entirely separate, I took this into consideration as a part of what defines a Loki- they may change physical sex. I did not see an entry for gender on the file. I may have missed it. But to me, the lack of listing gender and the inclusion instead of sex leads me to believe that the TVA doesn't much care for the gender of a variant, but rather the body in which they are most likely to inhabit. In this case, it would seem that knowing if a Loki is more likely to appear as a physical type without regard to pronouns or gender might be considered more important data than gender identity and pronouns. I examine this as someone who has to handle grant data that requires a sex marker in the demographics- not a gender identity, but an assigned-at-birth or otherwise legally documented sex.

I don't see these two things as mutually exclusive or an erasure of one another. I would see it as a way for the TVA to try to classify a variant without regards to any sort of identity. After all, if Lokis are destined for pruning, who cares how they see themselves? It's not like they are going to have an extended conversation with them- process them, judge them, prune them.

In the context of the Lokis we meet, and the note that they haven't met a female Loki, I do wonder why they haven't met one yet. Is it because they don't catch every Loki that comes through? Is it because they themselves have only ever experienced being Loki as men and and haven't assumed otherwise? I don't know. But I don't see it as impossible to explain, either. How many Loki variants have come through? And how many haven't survived? We don't see every variant in the Void that we see in Mobius' briefing holograms. Who didn't make it, and who is missing? Yes, the comment that she "sounds terrifying" could be read as incredibly sexist, but at the same time...Lokis grew up with stories of the Valkyrie, powerful warrior women who they likely looked at with awe, wondering why these towers of strength were no longer with them. The Valkyrie predate them and are mythic figures- we see how Thor reacts to meeting one of these warriors in Ragnarok. Given that this line comes from Loki the Elder, someone who leans into the power of sorcery and the capabilities of magic, wouldn't it make sense that the combination of these skills would seem terrifying? A warrior of the legendary capabilities of the Valkyrie combined with the might of a Loki sorcery? I mean, I'd probably think the same thing, and I think this is possibly one reason why the variant Loki we come to know would agree with him- she has been jumping through time, surviving apocalypses that likely terrify him, enchanting anyone she needs to use, and she can run circles around him. Given the tonal shift in the delivery of the line "and she needs me," I interpret this as the blustering Loki does when he wants to feel more important than he really is- he's trying to justify why he needs to find her to someone else (and possibly to himself) instead of just saying it's because he cares deeply about her and wants to know what the hell that means. Sylvie can clearly take care of herself and doesn't really need rescue. He wants to feel important enough to go back and to convince the others he is as well. That she could render him irrelevant is something that would be terrifying to someone who craves attention and affirmation.

Mobius says that the most common iterations of Lokis look like the one standing before him, yet Loki does encounter a variant file from California in the early 20th century that refers to Sylvie. So the TVA knows that there is a rare chance that a sex fluid Loki could exist (and they have, presumably, pruned them). While I wish this had been explored further, I don't necessarily see it as a transphobic intent. Did it resonate that way with some people? Yes. And that's fine. Their feelings on the matter are valid.

Another element of my interpretation of this comes from my own experiences of gender expression. Most of the time during which I have been out as nonbinary, people have read my gender as a woman. I like my long dresses and I have an extensive collection of vintage women's clothing. I also have a decent collection of corsets and well-tailored suits that fit my body type. I don't bind my chest. My hair varies from very short to as long as it will grow (not far past my shoulders). I occasionally wear eyeshadow, regardless of what gender I am on any given day. I very rarely read masculine and when I feel neutral, I still don't bother to alter my body shape, only sometimes choosing a bra or bra tank top that decentuates my curves (which, granted, aren't dramatic). So the concept of a gender fluid individual choosing gendered pronouns and reading as male during the (relatively short) time in his lifespan during which the audience knows him doesn't seem odd to me, as it is how I've existed (and I, too, used gendered pronouns for a few years on my nonbinary journey- they were a default while I searched for something that suited me better). But I have known nonbinary people who have exclusively used gendered pronouns and it does not invalidate their gender identity, nor does gendered expressions of that identity. The concept that we would only see a male presenting Loki doesn't seem very odd because I have lived a stretch of my life during which I, too, presented a very femme gender expression and used traditionally female pronouns. But that did not make me less nonbinary.

And, of course, this is assuming that gender fluidity is part of his identity, which we are never told in the text of the story. I reject that everything a creator says must be added to the text of a piece of media simply because the piece also has to stand on its own and be interpreted on that level as well. We do know that Loki shifts sex, which makes sense for someone who shifts bodies, as sex is tied more to bodies than gender is.

The point in this is that we can't assume the gender of a fictional character, just as we can't assume from appearance the gender of a living human. I may read as a woman, but this is not my gender identity and no one should be assuming that my clothes are meant to project gender. Reducing gender to an outward and bodily expression of sex is not something with which I am comfortable, and it seems that some people are conflating the two in their interpretation. Again, your experiences may differ from mine and it's fine to see this in another way.

But here's another very important thing this show can demonstrate. Allow an anecdote. My children watched this show with me. My son is nearly 7, my daughter a few months from being 10. She is very femme- loves makeup, frilly dresses, dolls, princesses, My Little Pony, the whole shebang of activities stereotypically associated with the childhood of girls. At this point in her life, she very much asserts that she is a girl. The same goes for my son- he very much asserts himself as a boy. When we were watching together, we talked about Loki being gender fluid, just like their Mum. We talked about Loki being bisexual, just like their Mum. They understood that just because Loki looks one way, it doesn't mean he is that way...again, just like their Mum. There is power in the idea that some of us are in this same position- we are assumed to be cisgender based on our appearances, but our identities are more complex than that. I thought this was a good window for my children to see through and one I could turn into a teachable moment about all the different sorts of people there are in this world. This is the blessing of imperfect media- we can find ways to learn from it and to share opportunities in it for open interpretation with those around us. And the lesson of not jumping to conclusions about gender or sex based on appearance is a deeply important one for young children to understand.

Is this an area in which I have a problem with the show? No. Does this mean the show couldn't have done more or better? Also no. We do need a variety of types of representation. But seeing the possibilities of this being someone a little more like me (though alas, I can't shift shape)? That was nice.

Hopefully we can see more of this in the future, but if we don't, we can create transformative works to fill in the gaps. It's what fan communities have always done and will continue to do. When I fell into fandom years ago with Harry Potter, long before the movies were all out, so many works were there to add queerness, racial diversity, language diversity, disability representation, all of it, into the series. It didn't stop us from still enjoying what it meant to us in those times and places and I don't think we have to outright reject this show for the imperfections we see in it. It can still thrill us and speak to something in us we've been lacking.

And in my case, that is the affirmation of wearing traditionally gender coded clothes while still asserting my pronouns are ze/zir/zirs and my gender is nonbinary, though also gender fluid, gender optional, or gender funky and that my oft-assumed-to-be-hetero relationship makes me no less bi or any other piece of my complex relationship to sexual orientation (and sharing that affirmation with my kids).

[hotcoffeecoldmornings]

(This shit is long so bear with me.)

Can’t Eat, Can’t Sleep, Reach for the Stars

I haven’t felt this way in awhile. This ‘can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of love.’ 

It’s hard to describe. The last time I was all-consumed like this by a TV show and a ship, that TV show was The 100, that ship was Clexa, and my world was, quite honestly, turned upside down by it.

I used the first two seasons of The 100 as background noise as I wrote my Master’s Thesis in 2015. To be honest, I didn’t really know exactly what was happening until Bodyguard of Lies (an episode anyone reading this post probably remembers well) came on. And a passionate kiss between two world leaders left me speechless and shocked. I was blindsided by it, unaware that that kiss would be the beginning of not only finding myself, but also accepting myself, and then finding a chosen family I never knew that I needed because of it.

There’s been alot of (okay, not a lot, but more) f/f ships on TV since then. Maggie and Alex. Nicole and Waverly. Elena and Syd. Kat and Adena. Anissa and Grace. Stef and Lena. Karolina and Nico. And the list goes on… While each of these ships is equally important, and each one represents another push towards more inclusive storytelling, there was never a ship that hit me as hard as Clarke and Lexa did.

Until now.

Harold, They’re Lesbians

Gay. Witches.

Motherland: Fort Salem said the words. And I fucking came running.

Okay, so it took me a few weeks… Thank you, twitter timeline, for finally getting my ass on board. It’s not that I didn’t want to start the show. It’s that my anxiety-ridden brain had other plans for me in mid-March. Like spending the majority of my time researching a global pandemic and then crawling into a depression hole because of it… Or something like that.

But nonetheless, I’m here now. And I’m fucking staying.

I knew I’d love this show. The concept of witches peppered with the idea that sexuality is irrelevant is honestly my one and only weakness. So I went into episode one with high hopes. And I sure as hell was not disappointed.

Episode 1 gave me even more than I could’ve asked for. We meet three uniquely powerful individuals, who all come from three uniquely interesting backgrounds. Abigail Bellweather, born into a lineage of the most powerful and elite witches Fort Salem has ever seen. Tally Craven, the last one standing in her family’s long-line of service, selflessly choosing to say the oath when she didn’t technically have to. And Raelle Collar, who has an unparalleled set of powers, combining her mother’s Christo-Pagan ways with those of the seeds learned at Fort Salem.

Rounding out that already brilliant cast is Scylla Ramshorm, the ‘sexy weird’ Necro who may or may not be evil (but we love her all the same). General Sarah Alder, the original witch who signed the Salem Accord, selling out every future witch to the United States Army, and whose ego quite often gets the best of her. And Anacostia Quartermaine, the Bellweather Unit’s Drill Sergeant who has a peculiar fondness (and leniency) for Raelle Collar.

The fact that this television show is entirely female centered (like, we’re talking 60 seconds of male screen time in the pilot), is what separates this show from most. Men exist in the world of Fort Salem as characters to exclusively propel the female leads forward, which is a stark contrast to the majority of shows right now.  And not only is the entire main cast female, the main lead is gay. And honestly, the sexuality of every character on the show is questionably debatable as well. Except for Abigail, who quite clearly is into any and all men, and Tally, who grew up on a Matrifocal Compound and ended up in Fort Salem as a virgin. Which, of course, no shade to her, but it did strike me as odd when Abigail immediately assumed Tally’s virgin-ness when growing up in an all-female world was brought up.

So let’s start there, shall we?

 The Heteronormative Narrative (or not…)

Something I did find puzzling about Motherland: Fort Salem (and the only thing, really) is how they portray sexuality, relationships, and love. In regards to sexuality, Eliot Laurence, the creator and executive producer, has been incredibly forward in interviews with the narrative that ‘your sexual preference doesn’t matter in this world.’ Which I appreciate to the fullest, trust me. But pardon my slight hesitation when I hear that line, because I think we’ve all been burned by it once before.

Motherland: Fort Salem has done a tremendous job of this. They’ve allowed characters to own their sexuality without question. It was never a thing when Raelle started dating Scylla. At Beltane, everyone went off with whomever the dance paired them with - even if that meant the same gender, and even if that meant three or four or five of them. Sexuality, in regards to same-sex partners, is never a character arc in this show, and it’s never there to create a plot point. 

HowEVER, there were a few things I noticed that confused that fact. 

Like I said about Abigail in the very first episode, when the Bellweather Unit is meeting for the first time, why was Abigail so quick to question Tally’s virginity after learning she comes from a Matrifocal Compound? If there are no heteronorms in the world of Motherland: Fort Salem, then why is it assumed that losing your virginity is related to relations with a man? Even though Tally is (well… was) a virgin, why would that question be brought up? If roles were reversed and it was Raelle living on the Matrifocal Compound, the conversation would’ve gone strikingly different, and it would’ve supported this heteronormative narrative that I thought we were trying to avoid. I’m just going to blame this one line on how badly Abigail wants the D, so sleeping with a woman wouldn’t even cross her mind.

But then what about the idea of this ‘five-year marriage contract’? It’s simply about producing a child, so I assume a woman could never have that sort of thing with another woman, and that those women could never add to their lineage (unless they entered into a five-year marriage contract simply to reproduce). Doesn’t this, alone, signify a heteronormative world without even meaning to do so? While they accept LGBTQ+ relationships, how do they actually fit into the society and culture that this show has created? Wouldn’t the gay witches be seen as almost inadequate in carrying on the gene if they don’t have a child? (AmI just thinking too much into this...?)

But then again, the whole concept of ‘love’ in Fort Salem is rather insignificant itself. As Gerit mentions, no one is supposed to spend their life with just one person. Witches are committed to one another in five-year partnerships to reproduce, and then that’s it. So in a way, I understand that nobody, no matter what their sexuality is, really gets to experience this fairytale ending that we’re used to seeing in a (*cough* heterosexual) ship on TV. And in a way, I also think that’s what makes this show all the more fascinating. Eliot Laurence gave everyone a level playing field by just removing the idea of a happily ever after altogether. In Laurence’s world, witches are meant to train and fight and die for their country. Love is their weakness. But what’s so compelling about that is even though love is their weakness, he made sure that love also manifests into their greatest strength.

From what I’ve seen in interviews for Laurence, every single thing has a purpose. So I’m quick to let this go, and see where he takes us. He’s been building this world inside his head for nine years, so I know that there’s so much more to this story than what can be told in a 10-episode season.

 But Back to the Lesbians

Anyway, back to love. Specifically gay love. I wish I could put into simple words my obsession with Raelle and Scylla. 

From the incredible chemistry that Taylor Hickson and Amalia Holm share on-screen together to the directors and writers who’ve portrayed their love story so magically, Raelle and Scylla are truly something special. They’ve taken the place of a ship this queer fandom lost when Lexa was killed. It’s a ship that you want to hate, because every part of this story tells me to hate Scylla. She’s Spree. She’s vindictive. She’s dangerous. Yet every part of my brain tells me to love her. And to love them together.

I don’t like easy stories. I want stories that make the ending worth it. I want hardships and pain and hurt and work when it comes to love. Which is why I like the story of Raelle and Scylla. There was a spark between them in their very first scene together- a spark you could feel through the TV. It was believable and real. They come from similar backgrounds of loss and solitude, and that’s what originally bound them together. And over the next seven episodes, we watched their relationship grow. We saw their vulnerabilities, their growth, their passion. But now we’re going to see the hardship. The pain, the anger, the betrayal. 

I appreciate that they’re not skimping on telling any part of their story. The two are special together, and so far, this show has proved that.

 She’s Special

I want to break down Raelle Collar before bringing up anything else, because, well, obviously she’s the main character, but she’s also got a lot going on. The fact that Raelle channels her power through something other than the typical ‘seed’ is something that will be of importance to why she’s so powerful. Petra Bellweather, herself, claims that Raelle’s mom, Willa, used unconventional methods that delivered incredible results. “She was the fixer every unit wanted to deploy with.” 

While all witches in Basic Training are learning about utilizing their extra set of vocal cords to create magic songs, Raelle can do it in a way that’s reminiscent of where she grew up- Chippewa Cession. In the very first episode, she makes note that her family was there before it became a Cession. Aka, before the land was given to the Chippewa tribe in exchange for their magic.

Raelle comes from a line of witches that all have more unique abilities than what’s taught at Basic Training. She uses a combination of Native American spirituality/Christo-Paganism skills during her days at Fort Salem, which brings up questions (and judgment) from other witches. It seems as though that kind of magic was the way witches used to do things before Sarah Alder released her song into the world and created a vocalizing army with it. Raelle’s peers look disgusted when they see her still using the same ways witches once did. It’s particularly noticeable when she heals people, and recites Matthew 7:7, “Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” The entire theme of the Book of Matthew, in regards to Christianity, is about prayer. Asking and receiving. That God will provide you with what’s needed, and nothing more. But when it comes to Paganism, it’s about the law of attraction and return in our universe. It outlines that there is no life without balance - that all prayers can be answered, but they’ll be answered with things that are taken from elsewhere. All prayers almost have a consequence. Just like all magic has a consequence. 

Raelle’s power, at least what she knows of it up until now, is based on a consensual balance, bringing the theme of Paganism’s Matthew 7:7 into the type of witchcraft she practices. She can heal someone, but what she heals them from will be transferred onto her. Balance. Consequence.

Bringing General Sarah Alder back into this, this is the same type of magic that she traded for back in the 1700’s when she granted the Chippewa Tribe the entire length of the Mississippi River. In exchange, she gained the magic that could keep her eternally young. But just like the magic that Raelle does, this age defying practice has consequences too, and requires balance. Every 50-60 additional years that General Alder adds on to her endless life, a young witch must be sacrificed to take on those years, and must stand by General Alder the rest of her short-lived life. 

But where does the balance go?

Adil is such a great addition to the cast because he sheds a light on something so crucially ignored on campus. All magic has balance. This is teased throughout the season, like when General Alder hits turbulence on her way to The Hague and jokes (but not really jokes), “I assume I have one of you to blame for that.” Or how Raelle soaks up her ‘patients’ illness. But it’s not truly smacked in our faces until Adil says it.

As Abigail is flaunting her ability to *one day* “grind iron into ore and mountains into dust,” Adil drops a truth bomb on her. “All that weather you fight with has a cost. Floods. Failing crops. Famine. Every war, people starve.” She’s quick to reply that the good they do far outweighs the bad. But to who? Certainly not to Adil and his people. Meeting him is going to give our recruits a serious insight into just how consequential their ‘work’ can be. He’s going to play a crucial role in realizing how manipulative and egotistical General Alder has been. 

Not only is weather an issue, but plagues. “Like the one attacking my sister.” Adil and Khalida come into the storyline because Khalida is sick with a deathly black webbing wrapped around her body. When they first make it to the Military Outpost (somewhere in the dessert between Russia and China?), the Soldier who meets them at the gate yells, “they’re here.” So were they expecting them? 

Raelle eventually is the one who heals Khalida, (by using her Christo-pagan means) but instead of taking up the illness like it usually does, instead, it infects the giant mushroom that Raelle touched earlier. 

The balance of Mother Mushroom.

I go back and forth between theories for the giant mushroom growing under Fort Salem. But today, I’m convinced the mushroom is attached to General Alder’s vitality. And consequently, the entire vitality of Fort Salem as well. In one episode, Berryessa reminds us that all life on campus is directly connected to Alder. And if what Scylla says in My Witches, that “life becomes death, which becomes life again,” is relative to the life on campus and how General Alder parallels that, then this theme of balance throughout the series is more prominent than we realize.

The giant mushroom living under campus is clearly important. It has hands and replicates faces and takes on diseases and Izadora is not a fan of  anyone touching it. So yes, you could say this fungi is a main character now.

But. Why?

“In the kingdom of plants, mushrooms occupy the underworld. Nothing ever really dies.” Mushrooms have an entire underground network of language to one another. And they are responsible for the breakdown and decomposition of death so that organic matter can become something else. Necros have an obvious connection to this ecological process too, so they must have a connection to the continuous process that General Alder goes through to support and sustain life on her campus. 

I think that the “Mother Mycelium” signifies each and every consequence that Fort Salem has accumulated. It holds the hurt and death and pain and regret of everything General Alder has created. And now that the Mushroom is infected with whatever plague Khalida had, I think it’s going to wreak havoc on Fort Salem. Magic is based on balance, and I think massive consequences are coming to make up for years of disparity. 

One last thing on my mushroom-thoughts, is when Helen Graves said “the dead make excellent eyes and ears.” An underground network of mushrooms all connected to recently dead organisms would certainly be a great way to gain insight too. Scylla mentions that she needs something recently dead to grow her deathcap, so does this Mushroom need to be constantly “fed” with death to continue the creation of life? 

Does Alder know about that? Are the mass-murders that the Spree are doing related to this? Killing hundreds of people at a time would definitely be a good way to keep the mushroom o’ death fed. Is Alder behind the Spree!?

 Sexy Weird 

Speaking of Spree... Can we talk Scylla now? First of all, what the hell is this girl’s timeline? When we first meet her, she’s a cadet (second year) in War College already, meaning she would’ve had to enlist on Conscription Day the year before Raelle. Yes? In Mother Mycelium, we see that she *might* (still don’t believe it) have been the person behind that first Spree attack on Conscription Day of this year (so when Raelle, Tally, and Abigail enlisted), so was she at Basic Training for an entire year before deciding to become Spree? Did she enlist knowing that she would eventually be Spree? Does this ever get addressed in the show?

Since we’re here, I might as well say there’s no way Scylla did that. I’ll never believe it. And I’m using my one semester of Greek Mythology in college to tell you why (who knew that class would eventually come in handy)

In My Witches, when Tally, Abigail, and Glory first meet Scylla, Tally makes it clear that ‘Scylla’ is a Greek name. Okay. Greek. Cool. Mythology. Let’s go. I already knew that Eliot Laurence doesn’t waste any minute of screen time when it comes to plot development and storytelling, so my meta brain did a little digging.

In Greek Mythology, Scylla was a sea-monster who haunted the rocks of a very narrow strait, opposite of the whirlpool of Charybdis. The monster’s purpose was to lead ships and boats towards the whirlpool, which was lethal to all who attempted to pass. Scylla was used to lure boats towards Charybdis, but was never meant for actually destroying them. Scylla was a fear tactic, not a murderous monster. In poetry, it’s often said that Scylla isn’t a monster at all, just born into a monstrous family. In conclusion (from my 4 months of Freshman-level Greek Mythology and a little refreshment on Google) I think Scylla is simply being used to lure people to the Spree, but not actually doing the mass-murdering that is being shown in the episode. 

What I do know is that Scylla Ramshorn is absolutely Amalia Holm. Mainly because I refuse to accept that Raelle is falling for the red head (sorry, red head). But also because at the end of the Pilot, when Scylla (in red head disguise) looked into the mirror, the balloon was her reflection, and it followed everything that she did. But in other scenes, when Scylla’s face is the normal Scylla face, she can see her own reflection. So the redhead girl is unimportant. Plus, IMDB says she never appears again this season... 

We Are The Spree 

As much as I hate to believe that Raelle’s mom (or Aunt!) is alive and leading the Spree, the connections between the two entities do add up. Both (Spree and Collar’s) are against the authority and power that the Witch Army has over populations of witches. They’re both against General Sarah Alder. I believe they both use spoken word magic rather than just vocalized magic. When the Spree carry out their attacks, they’re whispering words under their breath, not singing any song. Which is reminiscent of how the Collar’s do magic. Additionally, it would make sense as to why the Spree would want Scylla to bring them Raelle. And I still can’t get over the conversation between Raelle and Tally when Raelle explains her family’s combat charm. “A bowerbird’s foot. They love anything blue.”

Blue? Why. WHY. 

Maybe Willa Collar was captured by the Spree? Or the Aunt was? Or the Spree needs Raelle to heal someone? 

One last weird very unthought out theory goes with the other Biblical verse Raelle recites - Isaiah 43:2. “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” The fact that all Spree attacks have happened with something to do water- in the snow, at the pool, on a cruiseship. And the fact that the last line of that verse is literally, “you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” This type of witchcraft has to relate to how the Spree does magic. Right??

Now I’m re-talking myself into the fact that the Collar’s might be somehow leading Spree...

 But who’s ‘we’?

If the Collar’s are in charge of Spree then this next theory would actually check out. 

Anacostia has been a little more over-bearing with Raelle than any of the other girls. On multiple occasions, she’s said how Raelle is gifted. In fact, they all have. Even Abigail in Hail Beltane mentions that “Raelle didn’t go outside of canon, she’s naturally gifted.” They all know she’s gifted. It would make sense if the Collar’s were the ones running Spree, and that Anacostia, aka. General Alder’s head bitch, was sent to protect Raelle from ever joining them. Alder wants to capitalize on the powers that Raelle has, and keep them in the Witch Army. 

But I also think Anacostia could be playing General Alder. There have been too many times where she stares at Alder just a little bit too intently, and I can’t stop thinking that she might be in some sort of rebellious group too. Maybe a certain cell of Spree?

Because you can’t deny that Anacostia has also taken in interest in Scylla, particular to keep her away from Raelle. When Anacostia first caught them flying high on Salva, she told Scylla to stay away from Raelle, and it seemed as though she (tried) to use some sort of coercion magic while doing so. When Anacostia then saw them together at the Bellweather wedding, she almost sounded shocked, “I expressly told you to stay away from her.” Did Anacostia attempt coercion magic on Scylla and it didn’t work? And if she did, why didn’t it work?

That entire exchange felt odd yet familiar. Like the two have history. “Your name wouldn’t have been on the list. You’re not supposed to be here.” Particularly the “you’re not supposed to be here.” Did Anacostia know about the attack on the Bellweather’s? And did she think it would be threatened with Scylla there? Or did she know that Scylla was supposed to bring Raelle to the Spree at 6pm. And was sent to make sure Scylla never completed that task. 

I found it interesting that Anacostia was never seen fighting off the balloons like every other Witch was when they appeared. And her being at the actual wedding felt odd too. Especially if she’s General Alder’s right-hand (wo)man, because last time I checked, Alder and Petra Bellweather weren’t on the greatest terms. In fact, none of the General’s are on great terms with Alder. 

Since we’re now on Bellweather season...

Camarilla. No, not Carmilla.

There’s certainly a second threat in this show. And they were the ones behind the attack at the Bellweather’s. Not only has this already been proven by Jessica Sutton on Twitter (lols) but the clues were literally all there. They didn’t use any magic to fight. They had to use a mechanized sound machine to stop Abigail and Petra from using their powers. Then they covered themselves with gasoline and lit themselves on fire before the mother-daughter duo blew them away. It wasn’t Spree. But it was meant to look like Spree. And I think the balloons were simply a distraction, so all efforts and power would be outside fighting off the balloons while the civilian waiter’s could attack. 

But who is doing this?

It’s been brought up that there are alot of humans who don’t agree with the Witch Army that Alder leads. Even the President of the United States is hesitant about them. “You, too, are bound by rule of law to the will of the American people, who have elected me to represent their interests and protect them. Don’t you forget it. Or you may find yourself reminded.” Then Tally gets confronted later in that episode by a civilian who says, “It’s witches who are committing these attacks. It’s your kind of people .” And then even later in the series, there’s talk of a “growing debate in congress to revoke the Accord and disband the army.” So you could say there are definite opinions about this Army by civilians. 

In A Biddy’s Life, there’s a shot when Raelle and Scylla are in the room with weapons once used to kill witches. There’s an undeniably important shot of the Camarilla Scythe. Camarilla, itself, is defined as a small group of people acting as private advisers to a ruler or politician with a shared and nefarious purpose to carry out secret plots. 

Since civilians are the ones that are most opposed to the Witch Army, it makes sense that maybe the President, herself, is the one behind these attacks. She’s trying to take down the most Elite of the Witches (the Bellweather’s), hence inhibiting the Army from being as successful as it’s been in the past. And what better way than to kill the most elite witches of child-bearing age. 

While this theory checks out, I can’t help but to also think that Petra Bellweather could be behind the attacks. I know, it’s a stretch, (specifically because it’s her own family that’s being targeted) but I do love that ‘good powers, bad people’ trope. And what better way to make sure nobody questions your efforts if you’re the last one they’d suspect? Petra Bellweather has been itching to boot Alder from head witch honcho for awhile. Since killing Bellweather’s is the ultimate attack against witches, this would be a great strategy to showcase that Alder is inept in dealing with these enemies, creating a fall in power. And eventually, a rise in another. A Bellweather. 

Okay, I know what you’re all probably thinking. “So you’re saying that she wanted her own daughter killed!?” Not necessarily. When you watch Bellweather Season, and specifically the wedding scenes, they put an insane emphasis on timing. And I don’t believe that that’s just because of Scylla trying to get Raelle out of there by 6pm. When you watch the sequence back, the Bellweather Unit was supposed to be having their interview with the Dean of War College, starting at 5:30ish. If the interview took a good bit, say 30-45 minutes, this would strategically put Abigail not in the line of fire (aka Charvel’s room) at 6pm when they struck. 

But on the complete other hand, Abigail was supposed to be up with Charvel at that time helping her get ready. Meaning if it wasn’t Petra Bellweather, someone perfectly timed both Bellweather’s of childbearing age to conveniently be in the same place at the same time. 

Then the fact that Scylla was meant to leave with Raelle at 6pm (the exact moment the waiter’s and balloons struck), can’t go unnoticed. Did they want her to leave with Raelle at 6pm because the Spree knew about the attack? Did someone warn them? Does this explain why Anacostia was shocked to see Scyalla. “You’re not supposed to be here.” Why wasn’t she supposed to be there????

I’m just going to tap out of this theory now. 

But One More Thing

This might be a totally aggressive theory, and I have to credit the initial spark of this idea to my girlfriend, because during my 67th rewatch of this show, she brought up something I’d never thought of before. She asked me what Scylla’s purpose of attending the wedding was, and if the person she was supposed to bring to Penelope Road at 6pm really was Raelle? 

This got thinkING. What if it was someone else???

When you look back at all the times Scylla spends talking to her balloon mirror, they never actually say Raelle’s name. Sure, we’re meant to believe that Raelle is the obvious target. But what if that’s a cover?? What if she’s using Raelle to infiltrate something else and get to someone else??

It would make sense to use Raelle to target Abigail instead- an elite Bellweather. Like I said, this is a very unlikely theory but it would definitely be a shock to literally everyone (except my girlfriend apparently)...

Has the entirety of the show been leading us down a path to distract us from something else going on!? With every other ounce of brilliance here, I wouldn’t even doubt it.

In Conclusion

I went into this show expecting to be seen and represented as a queer woman, but what I actually got was so much more. What I got from this show is the realization that me being queer doesn’t have to have anything to do with me being a woman at all. My strength, and will, and mistakes, and growth, and grace, and support, and passion, are what make me a woman. Each of our stories are deserving enough to be told just because we are women.

I’ve struggled with that fact my entire life - my womanhood.

Femininity, feminism, and female empowerment are all things I’ve only recently connected with. I was raised in the culture of traditional gender roles. My dad went to work and my mom stayed home.  It’s not that I was necessarily taught that men and women must occupy those roles; it’s just that’s all I knew. To even further confuse my adolescent existentialism, not only was my mother a stay-at-home mom, she was also in the Marine Corps. And she never really understood the fact that not all women are as strong as she is.

My mom’s a badass, don’t get me wrong. She’s one of my hero’s. She came from a family who didn’t have much, and after realizing that she couldn’t afford to go to college, she enlisted instead. Six years later, she went to Penn State on a full-ride. She’s worked for every ounce of success that she’s seen, and she’s worked her ass off for it. But because of that, she struggles with the idea of feminism.

I can’t blame her too much. I understand the mindset she’s coming from. Growing up with that being instilled in my mind was hard though. Because it was expected that I, too, grow up to be a strong independent woman. 

I graduated in the predominantly male industry of agriculture (I want to be a farmer, okay!?). All through college, grad school, and post-grad school, I worked on farm after farm after farm. And it was there that I was introduced to the idea of toxic masculinity. I tolerated comments that I won’t even say out loud. I’ve “accidentally” been touched in more ways than I care to count. And what I hate the most about it all, is that I fucking tolerated it. I’d laugh it off, and then I’d walk away, mortified at what I’d actually just put up with. And while by no means do I blame my upbringing and home life on this, I do blame the upbringing and home life on the female characters I saw on television. If Brooke Davis was constantly and overly sexualized in high school then I guess I was supposed to, too. Right??

Sure, I still hear comments that I wish I didn’t. But I’m also surrounded by people and characters who taught me to never put up with the shit I once did. Female characters are portraying a storyline that people take more seriously now. They’re persevering. And that jumps off the screen in Motherland: Fort Salem. 

It’s taken me a while to realize how Raelle and Scylla have affected me as much as Clakre and Lexa did (two characters who literally awakened my sexuality). But I think I get it now. 

I love both Raelle and Scylla. Each one. Individually. As witches. As warriors. As females. As humans. As strong female characters. So, in a way, watching this show has awakened something else in me that I’ve also been suppressing all along. My femininity. My strength. My perseverance. 

Sure, Raelle and Scylla are my favorite ship right now, but it wasn’t them being together that made me fall in love with this show. Oddly enough, it was them being apart. It’s the fact that each one stands on her own as a unique and beautifully complicated story. And it’s the fact that I, too, am deserving of a beautifully complicated story.

Last Section, I Swear 

Motherland: Fort Salem is a magical mix of intense story building, relatable character development, and fascinating cinematography, all while being told through a gender and sexuality normative opposite of what we’re used to seeing. It’s a show that encompasses female strength unlike anything I’ve experienced before, where men are the background noise who aid in pushing the plot forward. It’s a show that deserves another season. And another and another and another and another. 

It’s a show I needed ten+ years ago, at 18 years old, freshly out of high school and wondering why the fuck I never had crushes on guys like everyone else my age did. It’s the show I needed so I didn’t always wonder why I was so obsessed with Peyton Sawyer and Summer Roberts and why I was the only one I knew who thought Torrance and Missy should’ve ended up together. It’s the show I needed to learn that my femininity doesn’t make me any less tough than my male counterparts. It’s the show I needed so I never put up with anyone’s shit. It’s the show I needed to teach me that I am storm and I am fury. 

It’s the show I needed then. But it’s also the show I’m so happy that I have now.

[jennaschererwrites]

Inside the Groundbreaking Queer Reboot of ‘She-Ra’ | Rolling Stone

We’re all shaped by the myths we grow up with, whether it’s the stories we learn from holy books or Saturday morning cartoons. Kids who see themselves as the hero learn to center themselves in their own life stories. Kids who see their experiences relegated to the sidelines, or not represented at all, come away with a very different lesson — one that can take years to unlearn.

Which is exactly what makes a show like She-Ra and the Princesses of Power so vital. Since its premiere in 2018, Noelle Stevenson’s reboot of the cult Eighties cartoon has joined a revolution in the world of children’s animation, combining classic genre storytelling with diverse representation and a progressive worldview (see also: Nickelodeon’s The Legend of Korra, Cartoon Network’s Adventure Time and Steven Universe). In its fifth and final season, which dropped on Netflix last month, She-Ra rounded out its 52-episode run by centering a queer romance — specifically, between its hero, Adora, and her best frenemy Catra — and positing that such a love can, quite literally, save the world.

“I knew from the start that it wasn’t going to be easy,” says Stevenson, speaking via phone from Los Angeles. “Because this is She-Ra. To have the culmination of her arc be this lesbian love plot is a big deal! And I understood that. But I also felt that it was really important.”

The original She-Ra: Princess of Power was a 1985 Filmation spin-off of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, which itself was based on a line of Mattel action figures. Set on the planet of Etheria, She-Ra follows a band of magical princesses in their rebellion against the Evil Horde, a totalitarian sci-fi regime bent on global domination. Adora is an ex-Horde soldier who joins the rebellion after she gains the ability to transform into She-Ra, a superpowered Chosen One with glowing blue eyes, a mystical sword, and a very cool outfit.

In 2015, when Stevenson, then 23, found out that DreamWorks Animation was looking for someone to pitch a new take on She-Ra, she jumped at the chance. She was already an Eisner Award-winning cartoonist and writer who had made a name for herself with works like her web comic-turned-graphic novel Nimona and the Boom! Studios series Lumberjanes.

“The world [of She-Ra] is so incredibly vibrant, and has so many powerful female characters. It’s this world that has all my interests rolled into one: It’s got the flying ponies and superpowers and all of these things that, immediately, I was like, ‘I want to do this. I want to be the one to do this,’” she says.

While Stevenson’s reimagination of the world of Etheria pays tribute to its predecessor, it includes some key differences. The reboot transforms the musclebound, scantily-clad grownups of the original series into awkward teens in much more practical (but still very sparkly) clothing. In addition to embracing a diversity of races, genders, and body types, the She-Ra reboot fleshes out the characters and their backstories, giving them fully-fledged arcs and complicating the good/evil binary of the original. The princesses of the rebellion aren’t simply heroic, and the soldiers of the Horde aren’t simply villains; everyone’s just a human being (or scorpion person or alien clone or flying horse, as the case may be) trying to make their way in a world that doesn’t offer easy solutions. It’s also, incidentally, really funny.

For Stevenson, it was crucial that the characters felt three-dimensional, and that it was their choices that guided the direction of the storytelling. “The characters all began with a deep personal flaw, and the process of making the show was kind of giving them the room to process those flaws. But we wanted it to feel organic. We wanted the characters to feel like real people that we knew,” she explains.

From the start, She-Ra’s most compelling tension was always between Adora (Aimee Carrero) and Catra (AJ Michalka), Adora’s childhood best friend who becomes her bitterest rival after Adora leaves the Horde to join the rebellion. In the show’s first four seasons, the two continually fight and reconcile and break apart again, their obsession with each other marking them as something more than frenemies.

“It’s a dynamic that I find really interesting: the attraction and the tension between the villain and the hero, especially when they know each other better than anyone. They love each other, but there’s something between them that cannot be overcome,” Stevenson says.

Stevenson always knew that she wanted the relationship between Catra and Adora to be a romantic one; but she had to walk a fine line, because she didn’t know if the studio would give her the go-ahead to put an explicitly lesbian love story front and center. At first, as in Steven Universe, Rebecca Sugar’s radically progressive series that aired its final episodes earlier this year, she steeped the world of the She-Ra reboot in queerness. The show features multiple side characters in same-sex relationships, characters who flout traditional gender roles, and even a nonbinary character (Double Trouble, voiced by transgender writer and activist Jacob Tobia).

Still, Stevenson, herself a gay woman, wanted young viewers to be able to see a queer relationship that wasn’t just incidental, but central to the plot of the entire series. “I’ve loved these stories my entire life, you know? I was a huge Star Wars and Lord of the Rings fan as a kid. But there weren’t a lot of characters that I felt personally represented by,” she says. “We love what makes these stories classic, but we’ve seen them all culminate in the same kind of romance so many times: The hero gets the girl, he gets the kiss, and then he saves the world. And it’s not just [swapping] the man and the woman for two women. You have to actually approach it from a standpoint of: How do you make these stories, at their roots, queer?

“So that’s what I was trying to do — for little queer kids to see that this is normal, that these are stories that can happen and that exist, and that can center them and make them feel seen and understood.”

Whether or not Adora and Catra’s romance would become canonical was in the hands of the studio, and it was a risk Stevenson couldn’t be sure it would be willing to take. So the show played a long game — hinting at a romantic dynamic between the two without making it explicit, for fear of disappointing fans in the end if they weren’t able to deliver. Fortunately, a groundswell of viewer support for a potential relationship between the characters — a phenomenon known in the fan community as “shipping” — allowed Stevenson to make a case to the studio for supporting the story she wanted to tell with She-Ra.

“Just as I had hoped, people started picking up on this tension and getting really passionate about it,” she says. “It was immediately one of the strongest fandom ships right out of the gate. And that was when I finally showed my hand and was like, ‘Look. We’ve got a bunch of people who, just off Season One, are really, really excited about the gay representation in this show. I have been planning for this. And here’s how it needs to end, and not just because I want a moment that everyone’s gonna talk about. It’s the logical conclusion of both their character arcs. They need each other.’”

Finally, after years of hedging their bets, Stevenson and her collaborators got the go-ahead from DreamWorks. “I really wanted it to be so central to the plot that if at any point they were like, ‘Oh, we changed our minds, we want to take it out again,’ they wouldn’t be able to, because it would be so baked in,” she explains. “The temperature is not always right, and depending on what’s happening in the world, not everyone wants to be the studio that sticks their neck out and makes a statement like this. You will get a flat ‘no’ sometimes. But if you bide your time, or you come at it from another angle, that can change. You just have to keep pushing.”

Feedback for the conclusion of She-Ra has been overwhelmingly positive both from critics and fans. Viewer support has been pouring out in the form of social media posts, YouTube reaction videos, and fan art and fan fiction. Stevenson, who first made a name for herself online with Lord of the Rings and Avengers fan art, has been blown away by the support from She-Ra lovers. “That’s how you know that you’re successful at what you set out to do — if people are getting inspired by the stories that you’re telling. I think that that’s the beauty of fan work, is that it’s an evolution of the genre. We take that inspiration and create something new all the time.”

Unfettered by restrictions, the final season of She-Ra is a tightly plotted, character-driven masterwork, featuring a slow-burn redemption arc, a harrowing villain, and a timely message about the power of love and unity against the forces of repression and tyranny. It’s a show about becoming kinder and more open in the face of unrelenting darkness, about banding together to prepare for the worst, but always hoping for the best in spite of overwhelming odds.

Stevenson says that she and her team began work on She-Ra in the aftermath of the 2016 election. “The veil was ripped off, and we had to reckon with a world that we hadn’t expected. And that theme of relying on each other and being stronger together became so much more relevant,” she recalls. “I remember writing one script after a particularly bad news day where it just felt like nothing was ever going to be OK again. It’s an episode where Adora realizes that there are supposed to be stars in the sky, and there aren’t any more stars. And as Aimee [Carrero] was recording the lines, she was crying, and we were crying, because we were all experiencing this together — the idea that things were changing in maybe irreparable ways.”

The refrain of She-Ra’s catchy-as-hell power-pop theme song is “We must be strong, and we must be brave.” According to Stevenson, that’s easier said than done; but the whole point of the series is that you have to try anyway. It’s a message that rings especially true at this moment in our world when it seems like everything is spinning out of control, and it’s all too easy to feel helpless.

“It always comes back to this — when you realize that there’s a great evil or a great darkness that won’t just go away from one fight,” Stevenson says. “It boils up, and it can be pushed back down, but it’s something that we’ll probably have to be fighting for the rest of our lives. That’s really hard to do, and it makes you really tired sometimes, and it can be really scary. But when you are surrounded by the people that you love, and when you have that love for the people around you, then that strength is possible.”

[southcrnsweets]

Magnolia’s Questionnaire

NAME: Magnolia Bishop AGE: 25  GENDER & PRONOUNS: cisfemale & she/her FACECLAIM: Dove Cameron OCCUPATION: florist @ busy bee’s

Q. What is your earliest memory?

Magnolia didn’t stop the gentle smile that formed on her lips at the question, “I was three, I think,” began she, fiddling with her hair as she ran the events over in her mind, probably half story she remembered and half her actual memory. “My mom was running late so she told my dad to help me with my hair… Now, we all know my daddy is not the gentlest of men, his hands are made for a lot, but not hair. But I’ll be damned if that man did not sit down behind me, on the floor, and slowly try to braid my hair.” Magnolia laughed a bit, smile still on her face, “It was ugly, I won’t lie, there are pictures before my momma fixed it, but he tried, and the whole time he just kept telling me how sorry he was if he pulled my hair too hard.”

Q. Who do you admire & why?

“My grandma.” The answer came out before Magnolia could even really think, but it was true. “My mom’s mom. See, my grandpa died when my mom was maybe fifteen? And she had four younger sisters. You know how us girls are when we’re in our teens and preteens.” Magnolia had no shame in referring to her more wild times. “But my grandma raised those five girls to be some incredible and strong women, just like her. My aunts and my mom are probably in a close second, but it’s all in thanks to the woman who raised them. That, on top of running the family farm? Honestly, goals if I wanted to get into the farm life.” Internally, Magnolia was thankful that her older sister was the shoe in for that mantle in their family.

Q. Do you call your mother every day or only on occasions like her birthday, Mother’s Day, & Christmas?

The laugh that fell from Magnolia’s lips was awkward almost, because she knew the real answer — and what she wanted to say. “Alright, I’d like to say I call her maybe once a week, but if you ask her then it’s every day.” Okay, maybe even sometimes more than once in a day. “Listen! I suck at laundry okay! There’s so much that woman knows and it’d be a crime not to learn from her!”

Q. What bad habit are you struggling to overcome?

“Oh, I play with my hair when I’m nervous, hands down the worst giveaway ever.” In fact, she was doing it right then and there. Magnolia did it when she was thinking, when she was worried, when she was scared… She did it a lot, but she’d only admit to one emotion being the cause.

Q. What scent or song reminds you of your childhood? Why?

“Just Fishin’, by Trace Adkins.” Magnolia hummed a few bars of the song at the mention. “My fish loving daddy didn’t have any sons, and I’ve been told I begged him over and over until he finally agreed to take me. After that we were fishing buddies every time.”

Q. What keeps you up at night?

“Weird noises.” Which was odd, because Magnolia grew up in a creeky old house that made noises at any given point of the night. “I dunno why, but when I moved out and into my own little place, it’s like the noises just aren’t the same as my parent’s house, and I’m always waking up from the strangest of things. That reminds me, I need to get those dang trees trimmed.”

Q. What was your worst injury?

“Gotta be my senior year, around April I think. A group of friends and I decided to sneak out. No big deal, just go down to the river for some late night swimming, nothing too wild. Well, my bedroom is on the second floor of my parent’s house, and there is this beautiful trellis of ivy right outside of my window. Practically begging me to use it, right?” And she had, so many times before. “Well, I guess those nails were rusted because the second I started climbing down, it went.” And she used her hand to show the trellis falling from the side of her house. “It was 1am, and my parents came running out because of the noise, also known as my scream. We had a fun ride to the nearest hospital, and I had to get the bone in my ankle reset. It’s the whole reason I didn’t go off to college and stayed here.”

Q. What’s your strongest relationship like & who is it with?

“Can I just say my parents? Like is that lame?” Magnolia laughed, a small snort falling from her lips. “Oh god, don’t tell anyone about that!” Of course, she knew there were no secrets in town, and it was hardly the first time she snorted. “Seriously though, my parents are incredible, I would be nothing without them. I know I can rely on them for anything, everything, and even if I may get a lecture, they’ll always be there for me.”

Q. What advice would you give your younger self?

“If you’re going to sneak out, for the love of god, don’t use the trellis.” Magnolia shook her head, ankles crossing and uncrossing as she thought of the injury.

Q. Have you ever climbed the water tower?

“I meaaaaaaan….” Magnolia trailed off, guilty grin clear on her face. “Who hasn’t?” She finally said with a giggle, not fully admitting it, but not denying it either.

Q. What’s the hottest piece of gossip ever spread around town about you?

“Ugh, please, you don’t want to get me started on this.” Magnolia wrinkled her nose, a clear sign that she was not a fan of the subject. “It’s no secret that the kids around here sneak out, but get caught and it’s like you’re the new town harlot. I swear. Seventeen and I got the nastiest side eyes for at least three years.”

Q. Who’s your least favorite townsperson & why?

“Alright, I’m only telling if you don’t.” After all, family was family. “My dad’s mom, my Gran. I swear to goodness, I love that woman so much, but I do no right in her eyes and I should already be married with two babies. I get it, she’s set in her ways, but ooooo, that woman judgy.”

Q. Who do you really think is the one loosening the cheese shakers at The Cuttery?

“Ooo, I swear it is little Timmy Hartford. I caught him breaking the stems of flowers at the Busy Bee so my money’s on him.” A gentle smirk formed on her lips though, “But I guess I can’t blame him, after all his momma did up and leave him and his daddy a few years ago.”

Q. Have you ever seen the Wharton Creek Witch?

“Nope, no way, no thank you.” It wasn’t that she believed in the stories, but they were creepy as hell. “I don’t go near the creek if I can help it.”

Q. Do you live to tell the tale of competing or even beating the wing challenge from Bootlegger’s?

“Listen here. I’m a wimp. A huge, spice hating wimp.” No shame? Perhaps not. “I can’t eat anything spicy, and even the mild is too hot. You think I’d be able to eat even one of those hot wings? The word ‘nuclear’ is enough to shy me off for good.”

[ofnicole]

             (  VIRGINIA GARDNER.  24.  CIS FEMALE.  SHE / HER.  )  ❛ nicole potter, a gemini from vancouver, bc, canada, moved into holloway five years ago. they are an information technology intern that lives in apartment 4d and their neighbors don’t particularly mind them. some say they can be uninhibited and inquisitive but others say they’re versatile and epigrammatic. anyways, one thing is for sure: you hear september rose by cailin russo, it’s nic blasting it. (  penned by CAJE ,  21+ ,  AST.  )

      good evening hunnies !!  my name’s caje, thank u for coming to my Caje Chat asdfdg listen i don’t have discord bc i’m a literal grandma when it comes to keeping up with all the new means of messaging oops so if u would like to chat and/or plot?? just shoot me an im on here — i’m always mobile & i obviously love to talk a lot !  and i’m a heaux for dramatic / angst-fuelled plots .. just a lil fyi … i’m excited !!  so anyway !!!  onto the wench you’re actually here to read about; my darling nicole.

( &&. GENERAL INFORMATION )

full name: nicole theresa potter

preferred name: nic

current age: twenty four

preferred pronouns: she/her

gender identity: cis female

romantic & sexual orientation: demiromantic & homoflexible

marital status: single

zodiac sign: gemini

moral alignment: chaotic neutral

language(s) spoken: english, broken french

occupation: scammer; acting as a cam girl, & it intern

current residence: room 4d in the holloway apartment complex

( &&. PHYSICAL APPEARANCE )

looks like: virginia gardner

height: 5′8″

weight: 120 lbs

hair color: blonde

eye color: blue

tattoo(s): small black rose behind right ear

scar(s): n/a

dominant hand: right handed

distinguishing features: catlike eyes, bright smile

( &&. PERSONALITY )

positive traits: versatile, epigrammatic, intuitive

negative traits: uninhibited, inquisitive, headstrong

are they generally dominant or submissive?: both, depending

emotional, logical or both: emotional

book smart or street smart: both

are they more introvert or extrovert: in between, a little more extrovert

optimist or pessimist: both

spontaneous or structured: spontaneous

instinctual or logical: instinctual

expensive or inexpensive: inexpensive

generous or stingy: generous

polite or rude: polite … but initially comes off rude bc she’s blunt

are they a day or a night person: night

( &&. MISCELLANEOUS )

do they have a fake id?: no, but she used to

are they a lightweight?: no

are they a virgin?: no

are they squeamish?: no

what can you always find in their pockets/wallet/purse/bag: her phone, loose change, raspberry chapstick, lighter or matches, and her keys

place(s) your character can almost always be found: her shared apartment, the company office she works at in the city, any of the various clubs around nyc, all the 24hr breakfast diners.

( &&. BACKGROUND )

a vancouver native, her mother died giving birth to nicole, so the only family she’s known her whole life are her siblings, who she’s fiercely protective of, and the father she refuses to have any sort of authentic relationship with due to his sporadic absences. just a few months after her thirteenth birthday, papa potter up and moved their small family across the continent to a trailer park in california, where he left them at unannounced times to fend for themselves. while it wasn’t an ideal situation by any means, in a way it gave nicole purpose; taking care of herself and helping take care of her siblings as she matured. not to mention the added responsibility they all shared in paying rent and surviving in general.

while she picked up the odd job at a convenience store or gas station as a teenager, the eldest potter girl had a fascination with the dark web. at a young age, she was incredibly adept with programming and knowing the innards of computers in general, and the internet was like her playground. it started off very innocent, scamming people across the globe to deposit money into her account ( whether it be out of pity, infatuation, or sheer stupidity ). but after toying with malware and developing her own cryptic coding techniques over the years, nicole became something of a little hacker, which is now her main source of income for the family. posing as a cam girl, she coaxes the information needed out of her  ‘ clientele ’ before springing an unforeseen attack on them. she doesn’t completely drain their accounts ( unless they’re disgusting pigs and she’s feeling spiteful ), but she certainly walks away with a large chunk from their savings.

in school, she did absolutely stellar with her grades but “didn’t fully apply herself” according to the majority of her teachers, who frankly weren’t incorrect. nicole didn’t give a shit about her education, deeming high school as a ploy to train young minds to live by the same routine, day in and day out, once they graduated and moved onto the real world. however, despite her practiced skill in technological stealth, she couldn’t exactly bring in all this money without everyone in her small neighbourhood growing suspicious of the formerly poor potter’s newly formed middle class wealth.

sO homegirl ended up applying to university anyway, getting accepted into nyu with a computer science major. she packed up her shit at the age of nineteen and moved across the country into the apartment complex she’s now been residing in for a little over five years. of course, nicole still pulls some trickery online with her faux cam girl stunt, but she’s genuinely enjoying school and the internship awarded through her program’s work placement.

SHE LOVES TO GO CLUBBING PLS. like yes she’s nerdy as all hell but she isn’t ur classic tech-savvy introvert ok. she’s a smart cookie who loves to get her party on aka the best of both worlds woo

that’s all i have so onto:

( &&. WANTED CONNECTIONS )

platonic ;  childhood pals, best friends, ride or die gal who’s also in on her scamming cam girl shit, fellow scammer(s), clubbing pals, enemies turned pals, drinking pals, bad influences, good influences, pals turned enemies, petty rivals, toxic pals, etc.

romantic ;  high school girlfriend / first love, a boy she dated in middle school and/or freshman year of high school before coming to terms with her sexuality, ex girlfriend(s), one night stand(s), friends/enemies with benefits ( former or current ), flirty pals, cruses ( unrequited or mutual ), anything toxic / angsty pls

[goodphantomoftheoperaposts]

okay but HEAR ME OUT

Now, I don’t stan either Erik or Raoul. They both honsetly have their faults (although one admittedly has much worse faults) but with that said, if I’m going to be perfectly honest here, (and I’m speaking mainly about the ALW musical adaptation) if things didn’t go so sour due to Erik’s incredibly poor choices, I think Christine may have actually chose him. Like, if Erik wasn’t so clingy and dependent on her, and was willing to let her have some air, I think she may have found him a lot more appealing than Raoul is.

It’s not that Raoul would make a bad husband (we’re ignoring LND here), it’s more of a personality thing. Christine is an artist, and not just with music. Well, music is a huge part of her life and it brings her a rush like nothing else can, but she’s intruged by the strange and and unfamillair. The things she really wants to experience and explore would be considered unorthadox in her time. That’s why she was so curious about Erik when she first met him. He was exciting. He’s a weird ass dude and he knows how to work it. He was mysterious, hard even tell if he was actually a human or some kind of earthreal being. Every corner of his home is scatterd with music and art, he’s talented as hell, incredibly intellegent, and just a and just an odd guy in general, and Christine digs it. That’s the kind of shit she’s into but is too self-concious to ever express due to society’s expectations of her. But Erik, he’s not apart of society. He doesn’t follow social norms like other men. She could be her true weird around him, and he wouldn’t mind at all. If anything he’d support the hell out of it, and in a way I suposse, actually freeing her, even if that is a bit ironic.

Raoul on the other hand though? He’s a good guy. He’s supportive and he Loves Cristine to death, but the thing is.... he’s normal. He’s your average Mr. Perfect from that time period. He’s ritch and can provide a comfortable life for the both of them, but deep down, I don’t thik Christine really wants a “normal” life. With Raoul she could imagine pretty much exactly how her life would go. But with Erik? It’s always a mystery, an adventure. He’s always got something interesting and weird going on. He’s not normal.

Also, I feel like I should address the context behind both Raoul and Erik’s bad traits. Now Erik certainly has pulled worse shit, that’s for sure, but it’s the reason why they did the things they did that I want to focus on.

When Raoul had his dick moments, it invloved him being impulsive and not letting Christine make her own decisions. He also tended to sometimes give off a bit of a “nice guy” vibe if you know what I mean. But why is that? Simple. He’s a product of his time. That sort of behavoir was considered normal coming from men back then, and hell, even now sometimes. He’s the man in the relationship. He was raised to belive that it’s his right take control and be dominant. Even if he has no real ill intention, that’s how he, and most other men back then were conditioned from a young age to belive.

But now lets look at Erik. He did much worse shit, but none of it had anything to do with gender norms. He’s impulsive, aggressive, and dominant yes, but it’s not because he was raised to be that way. He basically raised himself. He had no one to look out for him. Since he was a little kid he had been living by his own terms, completely detatched from the outside world. Thus, society’s expectations for how he should behave around women were never ingrained in him. The reason he’s so aggressive is purely a result his envornment growing up. Meaning, that the controlling behavoir he showed towards Christine when he started to lose his shit had nothing to do with how he veiwed women, he’s just kind of an asshole.

OKAY SO NOW.

Pretend, just PRETEND that Erik didn’t pull any of the nasty shit that he did. He may still be very difficult and aggressive at times but he didn’t manipulate, murder, or lie to get his way.

Christine meets him. He’s exilrating to be around. He lets her do pretty much anything she wants, even things that would be considered extreamly for unattractive for a woman to do back then. She’s the only one who gets him, and he’s the only one who totally gets her. He inspires and supports her art more than anyone else ever could.

Raoul on the other hand is still exactly the same. Normal, every girl’s dream guy, and he acts pretty much the way a man is expected to act. He’s supportive of Christine’s inerests but not as enthusastic as she is.

Now who do you think she would choose? Your average Ken doll with a side of victorian-era sexism, or the most talented goth in the history of France who she could cuss up a storm in front of, and he’d still think she was the most goddamn divine thing he’s ever seen?

So long story short, if Erik wasn’t such a huge jackass, then Christine may have actually willingly chose him instead