#hell naww

[nkogneatho]

WHY IS MY MOM SIMPING FOR TOJI???? HELLO?? I DON'T LIKE THIS

[fiamond]

Can u cut my hand off?? Pls im desperateಥ_ಥ

[chilei-the-hotsauce]

time for the hardest part: the dress

[without-kindness]

pls not a cryptobot sliding into my dms pls no

[hangup119]

guys fawk… should i do it

[vanityluvsme]

so wut i learned is if i drink all the drank, i have no moar drank left :((((((

[cheezekennith]

the headless grim reaper under the woods

i know its not halloween tho but uh i just drew henry as a dullahan again, cuz idk and uh i just drew it on ms paint btw (maybe I could just redraw it in october or in halloween?, idk)

[maehemthemisfit]

DID TUMBLR UPDATE? WHY MY SHIT LOOK LIKE THIS??

[gojuo]

what the fuck ??? just saw a twitter account using MY gifs to make an alicent hatepost ??????????

[rose-coloured-boy]

you would think they WANT this fucking virus to run rampant given how hard it is to get test kits these days. fucking hell.

[naitmeir]

u guys thought u got rid of me???? hell naww

heuhehhhehehgr

[adetheenby]

i absolutely fucking hate blueberry in yogurt like it makes me violent BUT KNOW WHAT IS GOOD IN YOGURT

CHOCOLADE HAGEL!!!! or honey

i think all yogurt needs to be labeled as to whether or not it has fruit bits in it, like orange juice is with pulp. for autism purposes

[sxorpiomooon]

What kind of sexual thoughts do people have about you? A nsfw pac reading

Paid readings

$5 readings

Tip me!!

Check out my other readings

Pile 1-

Wow this is crazy, a lot of people have these about you I must say. I had a vision of a lot of people jerking off to you too? Insane but yea there is also this theme of you looking like a medal to them like "yea fuck if I get her I've won everything " i see people wanting to fuck you very roughly by slamming you onto the table. A lot of people fantasize about doing it with you in public spaces. People love you ass you might sort of give the vibes of Sydney Sweeney? I'm also seeing these old American diners people might want to get into a lot of foreplay dressing with you. I'm also seeing them fantasise about you being a waiter and them the policeman? People want to clap you ass this is insane you have no idea how many people out there want to genuinely fuck you pile 1. I'm seeing everyone having these thoughts about you and then realising that you are out of their league. People might also want to suck your titties yo?? I see a lot of men wanting to be babied by you 😭. There is Pisces energy here that I'm seeing also cancer water signs basically.

p.s- There is a bald man or almost bald man losing his shit over you

Pile 2-

People might want to prove themselves to you? I see men wanting to last more with you? Your sexual energy or energy is general might challenge men even if we are looking at the matchstick you guys choose there is this woman smirking in it haha so men might naturally feel as if their masculinity is being challenged by you. You might also degrade them in some way or they might want you to. I see men wanting you to crush them? Don't some people have that fetish in which they love to see things being crumbled with someone else's feet? I see that and also a feet fetish. They might fantasize about you leading in the bedroom I also saw a chain and someone acting like a dog so there you go lmao. People want you to degrade them and crush them lmao. I also see them focusing more on pleasing you and fulfilling your desires. They might want to kiss your feet and your lower body. I'm also seeing a curvaceous lower body.

Pile 3-

People might want to do it with you after a heated argument? I just see all immediate sexual encounters as in two people entering the room and immediately getting started. Do you go to hotels or cafes? I see spaces with a lot of people where people have these thoughts about you. A lot of people might want to have heated one night stands with you? People have sexual thoughts about hearing you moan and running out of breath. They might want them to lead you and guide you. I see them wanting you to praise them throughout the entire thing too. People want it to be a very impulsive encounter out of nowhere. Alot of screaming and breaking of things I heard the sound of plates breaking for some reason I keep having visions of Monica Bellucci. Anyways I see this theme of people wanting to have a heated one night stands with you and then working hard to please you.

Pile 4-

Hell naww I see very strange people wanting to have sex with you? Like in very inappropriate settings people might have these thoughts about you. You might have sex with people in order to distract yourself from pain? You might fuck people so good that they might forget everything that's on their mind. I see people talking halfway and then just moaning in pleasure not being able to get enough breath to even continue what they were trying to say. People from your work or own team might have these sorts of feelings towards you too. I see less feelings and passion from your side I see you tossing other people once the act is done too for some reason? I keep seeing inappropriate settings or relations for this pile maybe a boss or just a random ass relation

Thankyou!!

[arc-misadventures]

BMI Jaune: Willow, Summer, and Kali?

BMI: Jaune II

Juniper: Jaune~!

Jaune: No...

Juniper: What?

Jaune: No. Whatever it is, the answer is: No.

Juniper: But, I never said anything?

Jaune: But, you're going to ask me something, and whatever the ask is about, the answer is: No.

Juniper: ...

Juniper: BMI...

Jaune: AHHHH?! Not this shit again!

Juniper: Your chose for this BMI, are Willow Schnee.

Willow: Hello, Jaune~!

Jaune: Hi...?

Juniper: Kali Belladonna.

Kali: Oh look, it's my favourite human~!

Jaune: Why did you say it like that...?

Juniper: And, lastly we have, Summer Rose.

Summer: Hello, Daddy~!

Jaune: Excuse me, what...?

Juniper: Are you ready to choose who you going to, BMI, Jaune~?

Jaune: The hell are you making me choose between my friend’s mom?!

Juniper: Well, as one woman/mother to another, they told me about their... pitiful sex lives, or lack there of in some cases...

Summer: Juniper?!

Kali: How could you just say that?!

Willow: Considering my ex-husband size or, more accurately the lack there of... Honestly, there isn't much to brag about. There is certainly plenty to complain about however…

Juniper: What? Both of your husbands are dead, so you haven't had much, if any action since they died.

Kalli: Well, that's true...

Summer: It's not like we did it much after I had, Ruby...

Juniper: And, Willow... I'm sorry you had to go through that so often...

Willow: While, I love my children with all my heart, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I do sometimes find myself wishing I had my son sooner so I didn't have to have... relations as often as I did.

Juniper: See! They have sad sexless lives since they lost their husbands. And, Willow had...

Juniper: She had, Jacques...

Juniper: So, Jaune please, BMI these three woman, and help them ‘fix’ their dry spell?

Jaune: ...

SKW: Please~?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: Haaaa...

Jaune: I would Marry, Summer.

Summer: And, why do you want to do that, Husband Dearest~?

Jaune: 'Husband dearest?"

Jaune: Okay? Okay, I say that because you look like you would be a wonderful housewife to come home to.

Summer: Naww~!

Jaune: Plus you look like the woman/wife who would do the, "Hi honey, welcome home! Would like a bath, dinner, or me?" Type of woman, and I...? Ahem... yeah that...

Summer: Oh; Is that so~?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: I Would, Breed Kali.

Kali: Why?

Jaune: Well... You have large birthing hips... and I want to give those birthing hips a run for their money...

Kali: Oh, I hope feel like we're going to enjoy that~!

Jaune: Hahaha...

Jaune: I would impregnate, Willow.

Willow: Oh, why would you do that?

Jaune: ...

Jaune: I hate you ex-husband with a burning passion. A lot of people think that killing him, or torturing him to death would be the best sort of revenge for what he did. But, I think... taking his woman, and making her mine is a much more tantalizing idea~!

Willow: Y-Yours?

Jaune: I’ll make you my woman! By the time I’m through with you, you’ll fit around me perfectly, no other man will satisfy you, you’ll come begging for more, and I’ll be all to happy to oblige~!

Willow: Y-Y-You promise…?

Jaune: Uhh… Well… T-That is of we… did do it…

Summer: Do you think he could do that?

Kali: Maybe? My daughter did say he’s quite big.

Willow: How big?

Kali: Six when soft, ten when hard, and plenty thick as well~!

Willow: Heavens, say it is so~!

Summer: Are you really that big~?

Jaune: WHAT?! How the hell do you know that?!

Willow: He is~!

Summer: Hmm… Juniper, please be a dear, and leave.

Juniper: Why?

Summer: Because, the sooner you leave, the sooner you’ll have grandchildren~!

Juniper: Good luck, Jaune! Remember to not use a condom!

Jaune: W-W-What?! Wait… hold on!

Kali: Don run, Jaune: The fun is about to begin~!

Willow: Come on, Jaune… it’s time to continue the, Arc bloodline~!

Summer: So what will it be, Jaune; Will you take, Kali, or do you want, Willow, or perhaps me~?

Jaune: Ohhh…?!

Jaune: P-Please be gentle…?

SKW: Fu-fufu~!

Kali: No promises~!

[stepintothelimelight]

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄ DON’T STOP ME NOW!

┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　° I’m a racing car,

passing by

like lady godiva ✧ ⁺ ┊

PART 1 of the Spitfire Saga

TRAILER: Spitfire makes her F1 debut and changes the world of F1 forever

(2017!grid x genz!fem!reader)(SMAU)

For more Spitfire content go to my account and it’s my pinned post since tumblr hates me and won’t let me link anything :)

WARNINGS: not a lot lol language?, suggestive stuff but in a bad way, sexism, that one picture of max 💀, for me, spitfire is american, so there will be references to american things (I’m american)

fc: random girls (mostly drivers) i found in pinterest + valtteri bottas

Aaaaannnnd ACTION!

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

twitter

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

yourusername just shared a story!

Caption: [AP calc ❌ abu dhabi ☑️]

Replies:

charles_leclerc: Congrats, Mate! Just heard the good news! yourusername: jelly? charles_leclerc: I try to be nice and this is what I get ☹️ yourusername: liked a message

max33verstappen: Can’t wait to see you on the track yourusername: aww 😚 yourusername: only took me 3 years to catch up with you maxie 😁😁 max33verstappen: Good luck trying to catch me in the track, Schat. yourusername: 😠😠

user4: no one wants you here

user5: Give the seat to Schumacher. He deserves it 53847822 more times than you do.

yourbestfriend1: Take me with youuuuuu 😭 yourbestfriend1: I don’t want to deal with mr Henry alone 😞 yourusername: bro i would if i could but merc literally kidnapped me out of calc 😒 dw tho i still have to do henry’s work just in a plane ☹️ yourbestfriend1: liked a message

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

yourusername just shared a story!

Caption: [first time in a f1 car kinda nervy]

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

mercedesamgf1 ☑️

Welcome to the paddock, Y/n!

tagged: yourusername

liked by yourusername, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc and 238809 others

view 6389 comments:

yourusername: awww thanks admin ❤️

user6: Schumacher better

user7: def gonna crash out in FP1

carlossainz55: ¡bienvenida Spitfire!

⮑ user18: the fact that everyone calls her Spitfire 🥲

user9: poser

⮑ user8: how is she a poser? She earned her place just like any other alternate would

⮑user9: she obviously sleeps her way to the top

⮑ user8: SHE IS BARELY 18!

user10: All y’all honestly hating on a teenage girl right now 🤡🤡

⮑ user11: literally it’s pathetic

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

twitter:

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

yourusername

yourusername: POLE POSITYOSN!!!

ps sorry 4 swearing on the radio 😔

pps i didn’t just catch you max, i beat you 😇xx

tagged: mercedsamgf1, max33verstappen

liked by lewishamilton, f1 and 63729 others

view 16738 comments:

user19: icon

user20: proved them all wrong!

⮑user21: not like she won a race 🙄🙄

⮑user20: not like you could do any better 🙄🙄

user24: my homegirl really did max dirty

user25: Absolutely VIOLATED Verstappen

user54: how does she have that picture?

⮑ user55: her and max are childhood friends. they were karting rivals

⮑ user56: she, him and Charles were the big 3 of their age division

⮑ user54: isn’t she younger than them, though?

⮑user55: she raced 2 years up

lewishamilton: An honor to be on the track with you! History in the making 💪🏾

⮑ yourusername: 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 LEWIS ON MY POST LEWIS ON MY POST 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

⮑charles_leclerc; Chèrie, you’re embarrassing me

⮑yourusername: u don’t need my help to do that 👍

user22: her and Charles HELP

max33verstappen: was that last picture necessary?

⮑ yourusername: very.

user23: her and Max HELP

pierregasly: Great to race with you again!

♡ by creator

danielricciardo: amazing driving, Spitfire! (and thank you for the blackmail 🙏🙏)

⮑yourusername: happy to help

⮑max33verstappen: 👎

landonorris: glad to see one of the ‘99s making a mark around here ❤️

⮑yourusername: awwwww lan 😗 come to f1

⮑landonorris: i lost my pass ☹️

⮑yourusername: again? ☹️

user24: Y/n and Lando 👩‍❤️��💋‍👨?

⮑yourusername: OH HEYLLLLL NAWWE

⮑landonorris: EEWWWW

⮑user24: what the hell 😭

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

yourbestfriend1 just shared a story!

Caption: [literally sobbing @/yourusername] ▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

f1 ☑️

f1: WINNER! 

Y/n L/n becomes the first woman to win a formula one grand prix! She also becomes the youngest ever Grand Prix winner at 18 years, 37 days and the first driver to win on their debut race since 1961! 

Congratulations, yourusername, in the words of @lewishamilton: “history in the making.”

tagged: yourusername, mercedesamgf1 

liked by max33verstappen, taylorswift and 63738 others

Congratulations, yourusername, in the words of @lewishamilton: “history in the making.”

tagged: yourusername, Mercedesamgf1 

view 8367 comments

mercedesamgf1: THAT’S OUR GIRL!!!!!!

⮑ user25: Y/n seat when??

⮑yourusername: yeah, when??? 😇😇😇 (joking pls don’t fire me xoxo)

user26: Y/n in the comments begging for a job is so relatable

user27: rigged

user28: Obviously a PR stubt

⮑user29: How? She outpaced everyone in Qualifying and held pole for the whole race

⮑user28: last race of the season, they need some new fans, so they bring in a woman and tell everyone to drive slower to get more traffic. It’s not rocket science 

⮑user30: the only rocket science is how on earth you got to that conclusion

scuderiaferrari: a historic race! @/yourusername

yourusername: Thank you @/f1 and @/mercedesamgf1 for this incredible opportunity. History was made tonight ❤️❤️❤️

⮑user31: damn right it was

yourusername: ALSO DID WE SEE THAT TAYLOR SWIFT LIKED THE POST???? @taylorswift ILYSM!!! TIWWCHNT IS LITERALLY MY HYPE SONG!!!!

⮑user32: ofc she’s a swiftie

⮑yourusername: what is that supposed to mean?? being a swiftie is the only way to live ??? how can you breathe without listening to reputation on repeat????

⮑ user33: TIWWCHNT STANS UNITE

⮑ taylorswift: @/yourusername: congrats on the win! Here’s to you, an inspiration to all of us women fighting our ways into men’s worlds! 🥂🍾

⮑yourusername: OH MY GODDDDDDD

⮑user34: is she still breathing?

⮑maxverstappen33: no

         ⮑danielricciardo: no

         ⮑mercedesamgf1: no

         ⮑charles_leclerc: no

         ⮑carlossainz55: no

         ⮑lewishamilton: no

         ⮑f1: no

         ⮑user35: is @/user34 still breathing?

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

yourusername

yourusername: WHAT A WEEKEND!!

Mercedes!! tysm for trusting me in your car and i hope that i did you proud!!! this week has been a dream 🤍

Valtteri: I know that my win tonight is due to your misfortune, and I’m sorry we will never get to race together on the track. I hope I did you proud.

Seb, to whom I’m dedicating my maiden win to. Without you, I would be no where. your never ending support and willingness to help are the reasons i’ve been able to race as long as i have. you named me spitfire all the way back in f4 and now that nickname will live in the legendd of the sport forever.

History was made tonight, and even if this is the last race i ever drive in a formula 1 car, i’ll rest easier knowing that my win in abu dhabi 2017 will inspire the next generation of female athletes in motorsport.

Thank you to everyone who came out to support Mercedes tonight!

xx Spitfire

tagged: lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1, valtteribottas and f1

liked by mercedesamgf1, lewis hamilton and 380278 others 

view 279491 comments

user36: say what you want about her, what she accomplished tonight is legendary

lewishamilton: Congratulations! Looking forward to seeing you around the track next year!

⮑user37: around, not on 😔

⮑user38: Everyone join hands in prayer that Lewis doesn’t know anything about Bottas’ seat being filled and is just being nice

⮑user39: 🤝

⮑user40:🤝

⮑user41:🤝

⮑user42: 🤝

⮑yourusername: 🤝

⮑user38: GDJEIWOSK she’s so unserious 😂😂

⮑yourusername: ❤️❤️❤️

estebanocon: Amazing race, Y/n!

♡ by creator

user49: YOU DON’T BELONG HERE

charles_leclerc: great to see you finally live out your dream, mate ❤️🍾

⮑yourusername: luv ya charlie 🥂

⮑user43: CHARY/N CONFIRMED??

⮑ yourusername: 😬😑🤨

⮑ user44: Y/n really out in the trenches fighting every romance rumor

max33verstappen: I let you win…

⮑yourusername: Lying is a sin, Max Emilian Verstappen.

⮑ user45: dayumm the full government name too

⮑user46: and proper punctuation!!! max lock your doors 😰

⮑max33verstappen: Why do I feel like something bad is going to happen to me tonight?

⮑ yourusername: because something bad is going to happen to you tonight.

⮑user47: Max getting threatened on main 😂😂

danielricciardo: Great race and even better weekend! Fun getting to know you, Spitfire!

♡ by creator

user60: Anyone see the way she was crying when she got out of the car? Couldn’t even walk, so emotional. Pathetic.

⮑user61: Ome of the many reasons women aren’t supposed to race in F1

serenawilliams: love seeing a strong woman! Keep up the good work, Y/n! 🏆

⮑yourusername: i gasped

⮑yourusername: the 🐐 is here

user51: PR stunt.

user52: Ruining F1

⮑ user53: She’s turning F1 into a joke

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

yourusername just shared a story!

caption: [otw home 😴😴]

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

twitter

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

2.5 weeks later….

mercedesamgf1

Proud to announce that we have signed a new driver to fill Valtteri Bottas’ seat! Please officially welcome Y/n L/n to the paddock!

tagged: yourusername

liked by lewishamilton, valtteribottas and 573011 others

view 8739 comments

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

✧ ⁺ ⁺ don’t wanna stop

at all…┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺ 　°

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

Aaaannnnnnd scene!

DIRECTOR’S CUT: hehe part 1 done! Sorry for any innacuracies and/ or mistakes. Turns out making these SMAUs is A LOT of work. Like a boatload of work. Anyway, see u in part 2!

A little background info:

Seb is Spitfire’s mentor and funded her career since 2009

Charles Max and Spitfire terrorized their Karting generation

Seb gave her the nickname- in German F4 she was well known to be very blunt and had a very fast mouth. Seb called her it over live TV once and it stuck

Lando and Spitfire are old friends since they were always a little different from the rest of the kids - she was a girl and he looked like a toddler

Want to join the taglist? drop a comment below or message my inbox

[starryeyeddreamer21]

Hazbin Hotel as my group therapy

-

Charlie: It's so quiet in here I need to be yapping about animal crossing

-----

Angel: no gyatt but big badonkadonks

-----

All of hell during Stayed Gone: chat is this real? CHAT IS THIS REAL!!?!?

-----

Nifty: I'm just waiting for an emo boy for me to fix

-----

Alastor: I killed queen Elizabeth

-----

Angel: My sister was tooken by the state

Alastor: Taken

Husk: naww he just corrected his grammar

-----

Cherri: and all I WAAaannnTTTT FOR CHRISTMAS ISSSSS YooooU

Sir Pentious: That was beautiful

-----

Husk: honestly I'm pretty sure everything is my fault like global warming? That's my bad

-----

The hotel getting ready for battle:

Vaggie: WAIT... sports mode

*everyone changes their Crocs to sorts mode*

-----

Vaggie: I have discount PTSD

-----

Nifty during Hells Greatest Dad: Rizz???? Otp?????

-----

Angel explaining how he made his deal with Valentino: So he came up to me and was like "what's a little lady like you doing out in the streets all by yourself? You need a big strong man like me to protect you. And then we got married

-----

Lucifer: suicide am I right?

Alastor: *snorts*

-----

Angel: my name is jaquayveontavious, I'm six years old, I do drugs

Charlie: NO

Angel: steal, fight

Charlie: NOOO

Angel: gang bang, domestic violence

Charlie: NO STOP

Angel: and I like to slap squirrels that I find in trees

Charlie: STOOOOP

-----

Charlie trying to get Alastor to participate:

Alastor: listen bestie, I would rather die

-----

Cherri: weed

Angel: yeah

Husk: stop

-----

7 years ago

Alastor: welp time to skedaddle