#hell Niall will have/has had some

[alarrylarrie]

I’m just…

Spinning out, waiting for ya to pull me in

I can see you're lonely down there

Don't you know that I am right here?

She said, "Give me a day or two"

Wishing I could be there for ya

Listennnnn. You don’t want me to do this lol. It’s a CONSTANT theme. I could talk about this for DAYS.

All of Holding on to Heartache? “I called you twice but then regretted it, and changed my number…??!!”

This is a conversation they’ve been having since 1D days, but more pointedly now that they’re solo. HS1? “Even my phone misses your call, by the way.” Fine Line- “it’s hard for me to come home and be so lonely.” Walls- “I cut you off because I didn’t know no better” and basically ALL of Defenceless lol. Don’t even get me started on Faith In The Future.

[bodhrancomedy]

Guess who's on TV!

(Well, iPlayer until the 15th, that's when it airs on BBC One)

Hope Street episode 3.11, let's go!

First of all, I'd say they did me dirty with this picture, but my university ID was exponentially worse.

Onto the spoilers!

Our boy Matthew has arrived in Port Devine, looking a little concerned.

For good reason when he's suddenly confronted by this lad, Dara.

Ah, a fight which Matthew escapes by slipping out of his coat. (Pretty sure this is the take where we ripped it practically in two...)

Dara's questioned, he claims he's never met Matthew in his life. Hmm.

Police do some investigating (and some character stuff) before Dara makes his way to Matthew's mother (Louise)'s house to have a wee showdown.

They both in a gang and Matthew's stolen a gun. Dara needs to get it back...

Matthew's nay having it. "This is my way out. If they want the gun back, they have to let me go."

Another fight. The gun goes off! (Poor Pete and I were convinced after take one to put some padding on. My arm looks bulky because I'm strapped up with squishy stuff and allergic to plasters so it has to be in a sock)

Thank fuck no one was hurt. Dara gets the hell out of dodge -

Leaving Matthew to contemplate his mortality. And other people's, but mostly his own.

"Oh fuck, my bosses are gonna find me and murder me, oh shit. I'm far too young and pretty to die!"

Time for Matthew and Louise to follow Dara's example and get the fuck out of here.

The police are now on the Halbridges' trail, but they discover the phone tracking them and leave it in a field.

Meanwhile, Dara's been arrested for drug dealing. He refuses to talk, clearly nervous.

Ah, what's this on Dara's phone? So Matthew and Dara have been in a relationship for over a year now.

(The poor intimacy coordinator having to walk me through my just about second kiss in my entire life. And the third. And the fourth. And the fifth... Pete is a very sweet person. Made it all funny.) ("Relax your hand, Bodh. Just relax it. Open - open your fingers, just let me position your hand.")

They're both working for the same gang. Matthew was given the gun to hold onto by their bosses' and freaked out, running away with the weapon. His plan was to trade his freedom for the gun, but Dara was sent to get it back for the Brazier Brothers, notorious drug runners and gang leaders.

These guys.

Unfortunately, now Dara's had to tell the Brazier Brothers that Matthew is refusing. They're going to kill Matthew and then Dara. Oh no.

But Dara has an idea where they might be hiding.

At the caravan there's a standoff between the police and Halbridges. But when the Braizer Brothers are arrested, they're convinced to come out.

(Side note, my favourite picture of me, ever.)

Oh no, the Halbridges are going to jail and Matthew's regretting his life choices.

Matthew walked off to his new life inside a jail cell.

The end.

(This is where Niall Wright accidently sublexed my shoulder. To be fair to the man, I'd never mentioned it and he took his finger sliding in-between bone like a champ)

Look, it's me!! I was on TV! Bit sad they cut pretty much all the uses of SSE (weren't allowed BSL because we still had to speak the lines), but I got to be queer and Deaf so that's pretty nice.

[beomie3]

tokyo 2 - choi beomgyu

pairing: boyfriend!beomgyu x fem!reader

word count: 18.6k

summary: your dream vacation to tokyo only gets better as you and your boyfriend continue exploring the newfound pool on the balcony of your hotel, but little do you know he has some surprises planned for you. ~lovers in the movies~ type of vibe.

content/warnings: established relationship, romance, fluff, kissing, cursing, some drinking, wholesome smut scene, (v much slow burn), just two lovers falling deeper in love <3

a/n: this is the sequel to my existing story "tokyo"! you can find it here if you haven't read it already :)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

♬ [soundtrack]

sunsetz - cigarettes after sex

every color - luca fogale

fallingforyou - the 1975

over the moon - the marias

double take - dhruv

the dress - dijon

baby blue - frazier blue

peach eyes - wave to earth

astronomy - conan gray

get you the moon - kina

electric love - night traveler

take me where your heart is - Q

skin - dijon

hold on - flor

japanese denim - daniel caesar

tonight - summer walker

to love - suki waterhouse

sweet - cigarettes after sex

intro: serendipity - bts

fairy of shampoo - txt

striptease - carwash

sweet disposition - the temper trap

lover - taylor swift

feels like - gracie abrams

you! - lany

turning page - sydney rose

heaven - niall horan

nap of a star - txt

yellow - coldplay

immerse yourself in the story & listen while you read for a cinematic experience :) it’s a bit long, but the songs go along with the story!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ

what could he possibly have in mind? you chuckled to yourself as you stood outside by the newly discovered infinity pool, gazing out at the twinkling city as your white sundress swayed gently with the lukewarm breeze.

the sun had set its glimmering eye behind the city's tall buildings, eventually only the skyline's silhouette left as the sky glowed a dim hue of orange. beomgyu had asked you to stay outside, that he'd be right back after he ran into the hotel room to do something. of course, you wondered what the hell your mischievous boyfriend could be up to. but you enjoyed the thrill of what was to come; he always had something exciting up his sleeve.

you noticed the way the full moon slowly brightened in the sky, moving in opposite tandem with the sun. it had been visible throughout the day, just a faint whisper in the sky, almost invisible.

you always found it most beautiful when the sun and moon were both visible in the sky at the same time. it reminded you of how opposite they are, yet how beautifully they complement one another.

every once and a while you glanced proudly over your shoulder at your boyfriend's newest discovery; the shimmering pool and hot tub, its water reflecting the city lights like a mirror. the day's memories dawned over you, a special one immediately blooming like a flower in your mind; the events of when beomgyu sang wonder for you on the bridge several nights ago. a smile crawled onto your lips as a result, one you wouldn't quite be able to rid for the rest of the night.

~

as the final tinge of sunlight faded its way from the sky, a deep shade of red, almost burgundy, tinted the navy blue abyss. you had been so infatuated with the beauty of the melting sunset you were unaware that the sliding glass door had been closed by beomgyu as he had returned. but of course, you hadn't heard a thing because he made sure to close it as gently as possible, tip-toeing his way over to you as quiet as a ghost.

he didn't want to scare you, but he slightly startled you with his unsuspecting touch as he gently pressed his chest to your back. you only tensed for a brief moment until you concluded it was your boyfriend, relaxing under his warmth as he wrapped his arms around your waist, clasping his hands softly over your stomach. to bring him even closer, you crossed your arms to reach around your own torso, trailing your fingers up his arms as you held him tightly.

you sensed the weight of his chin on your left shoulder, feeling his gentle breaths fan against your exposed skin, the warmth of his cheek under your ear as he snuggled into the crook of your neck.

the feeling you got from his hugs, especially the ones from behind, was something so warm, so fuzzy in your heart. everything about him; his sweet aroma, feather-soft lips as they grazed your skin. he gave you a feeling of comfort you never knew was even possible.

the crimson-tinted sky had almost fully disappeared as the sun was long gone under the horizon, only a subtle whisper of deep red left to fade away into the darkness.

"the sunset is so pretty," he whispered against your ear, a chill aching to race up your spine at the warmth of his breath against you. you smiled at his comment. his statement was true, but there was something else- someone who topped it. the man standing behind you with his arms snaked around you. he radiated the most beauty.

"but not as pretty as you." "but not as pretty as you."

"jinx!" "jinx!

you both had shouted the same thing word for word, like you knew exactly what the other was thinking. and that wasn't a rarity; it was often that you yelled jinx at each other. but every time, your similar ways of thinking surprised you more than the last. it was literally like you shared the same brain cells.

he giggled adorably at the fact you two had said the exact same thing; head thrown back as you felt his chest heave in laughter against your back.

"i said it first so.. jinx you owe me a soda!" you giggled, angling your head up to get a look at him. a subtle tinge grew across your cheeks at how close his face was to yours; soft skin and sharp jawline adjacent to your gaze, your heart pounding as his large eyes quickly focused into yours.

"but what if i said it first?" he tilted his head playfully, ever so slowly inching his face closer to yours as his eyes pulled you into their deep brown trance.

"then you still owe me a kiss," you returned his playfulness, but really, you weren't joking so much as you were telling the truth. you really did want to kiss him in this moment. his eyes so irresistibly gazing into yours, so deeply you could already feel his lips on yours before either of you even made a move.

his lips twitched upward at your request, inching his face so close to yours until the tips of your noses touched. "i can do that," he whispered through a small giggle, his toothy grin gleaming like the rays of sun that had long disappeared beyond the horizon.

grazing his fingertips along your jaw, he neared his face to yours, closing the tiny gap that was left between your lips to unite. a heartfelt kiss it was; one full of such joy that you could feel his smile grow against your lips, getting a subtle taste of his cherry chapstick. you couldn't resist letting out a few giggles at how quickly your heart was beginning to fill with such warmth.

the kiss was deepened as you turned to face him by standing on your tiptoes, snaking your arms around his neck to pull him down even closer. when it seemed as if your bodies couldn't get any closer, they did as he wrapped his arms tightly around your lower back, pulling you so close that his warmth cradled you. at this point, your teeth had even begun to clash due to how big your smiles had grown, no lips even left to kiss because of how curled they were from your toothy grins.

at the realization of this, beomgyu pulled away, examining your smiling face; his favorite expression of yours. your eyes fluttered open and you stared back at his ginormous grin and glittering eyes, your cheeks beginning to ache and tighten from how large your smile had grown. but he looked too damn cute, how could you not be smiling like an idiot?

"no but really, the sunset is not as pretty as you," he remarked, exaggeratedly shaking his head to get his point across.

opening your mouth to argue back, he read the awaiting comeback forming on your lips as he suddenly tightened his arms below your hips, picking you up off the ground before you could even say a word. forgetting what you wanted to say at an instant, your attention shifted to the fact that beomgyu was now walking you over to the large, glowing pool.

"gyu what are you doing!?" you yelled through a hysteric laugh, heart racing at how close he was getting to the edge of the water. is he planning on throwing me in?? was all your mind could process.

you were half right. "brace yourself!" was what he yelled as he ran full speed off the ledge, jumping into the deep end of the pool with you in his arms. and with a wave of thrill in your chest, a yell-like laugh left your mouth, one you had inherited from none other than your boyfriend.

you shut your eyes and made sure to release air out of your nose as you felt your body make contact with the lukewarm water, immediately coming up for a breath as you both became submerged.

although you were slightly annoyed at beomgyu with the fact that you had been unexpectedly catapulted into a pool with every last article of your clothing on, that feeling didn't even last longer than five seconds when you felt his hand grip your ankle underwater.

you couldn't help but roll your eyes and smile, filling your lungs with oxygen before plunging back underwater to find him. although the chlorine stung your eyes a bit when you opened them, the feeling quickly went away as you got used to it.

you discovered his tall figure floating beneath yours like a dark shadow; made up of his darkened hair, black baggy shirt and shorts as they floated loosely in the turquoise light. not to mention, his hand firmly around your ankle as he swam further toward the bottom of the pool, trying to pull you to him.

you quickly freed your ankle from his grasp with a few tugs, excitedly swimming headfirst as deep as you could into the deep end to catch up with him at the bottom. the water ran it's cool fingers through your hair as you swam deeper, entranced with the way it engulfed you.

he stared up at you with large, innocent eyes, auburn hair floating freely around his head, cheeks filled with air. he held his arms out to you, waiting for you to swim into them, his cuteness only enticing you to swim faster.

both of your hearts pulsated rapidly every passing second you maintained eye contact; two lovers yearning to be reunited.

when you reached him, you swam into his arms, wrapping yourself around his baggy shirt that floated around him, and he looped his arm around your waist, baggy dress surrounding your body like a fluffy cloud. your hair floated around your body, similar to your dress.

bubbles of oxygen escaped your noses every now and then as you stared at one another underwater, admiring the way your faces glowed in the turquoise ambiance of the pool light.

his eyelashes; quick to draw your attention. their pretty length and how gently they batted against his cheeks whenever he blinked. even picking up on the tiny oxygen bubbles which floated up toward the surface at every bat of his eye.

even underwater, with your vision blurred and all- he was absolutely beautiful. it was like a dream; features lit by the fuzzy, baby-blue ambiance of the water around him. he was constantly astonishing you with his beauty.

and he noticed your soft skin and bright eyes and the way your hair flowed behind you; watching it glide underwater in slow motion like the hair of a goddess. he reached out to touch it as if it were calling his name, his movements so soft and gentle, inviting your fingers to his hair as well.

noses grazing one another's, his dreamy gaze peered into yours, trailing down to your lips and in a flash they were locked to yours.

kissing underwater felt much different than the countless kisses you had shared. this kiss was a lot softer; the taste of chlorine lingering in your mouth instead of his signature taste. it felt as if you were kissing a soft, velvety pillow; the way his lips closed around yours delicately, savoring every last second until you began running out of air.

unable to hold it any longer, you tugged on his shirt and he took this cue to return back to the surface, pulling you up with him.

you had surprised yourself with how long you and beomgyu were able to hold your breath as the sky had now faded to pitch black when you came back from your blue dream, up to the real world. no more dusty crimson clouds, now only the small speckles of stars shining brightly, matching with the tiny, lit windows of the skyline far away. but really, it best resembled the sparkle of his eyes.

this view. you swam to the pool's ledge, supporting yourself on the cement with your elbows. your eyes fixed on the view on the other side of the infinity pool, simply breath taken by just how beautiful the city sparkled all around you.

"it's so beautiful," you whispered against the tile of the pool wall, your heart racing in excitement over it all; this was like- the best view of tokyo anyone could have.

you sensed beomgyu swim up behind you, snaking his arms around your waist like he always does.

"hi~" his soft breath fanned against your ear. although the water was lukewarm, your skin still became chilled with sudden goosebumps ignited by his touch.

you sighed as he pressed wet kisses on the top of your shoulder, using his hand to gently massage the other one, soothing your priorly tensed muscles. the sudden shift of the ambiance invited a gentle wave of heat throughout your body as his fingers trailed down your arm so softly, the ache of goosebumps pelting your skin.

"is this the surprise you had for me, gyu?" you smirked with your head tilted to one side, exposing your neck for easy access for him to continue drowning the area in kisses.

he hummed against your soft flesh, leaving a trail of smooches from your shoulder to the base of your ear. and with the deepest, most gentle of voices, he breathed his response.

"just wait a bit longer, angel. that comes later." he whispered in your ear with the voice you couldn't even begin to express your love for. your heart pulsated in excitement for whatever was to come.

you both just sat there staring out at the view, his chin on your shoulder, observing the tiny cars on the street moving in what seemed like slow motion.

you at kicked each other's feet underwater as you made up a game to play; the game of which window light will turn off next? in which you had to guess which window light will be the next to go dark out of all the hundreds of lit windows. surprisingly, beomgyu won twice.

you had a long conversation about what you think each person in each window is doing. "i think that person is making ramyeon and getting ready to binge their favorite show," you announced, pointing confidently at the small speck of light glowing from the distant window.

he giggled. "and that person is getting ready for a date night with the love of their life," he pointed at another set of dim curtains.

"sounds like us," you commented, turning to gaze at him from behind you. he smiled large, looking up at you with puppy eyes. he was so adorable, you couldn't ever resist the urge to pepper his face with kisses. so you did just that.

~

simply relaxing in the pool just wouldn't cut it for beomgyu, it wasn't long before his shenanigans began again. "bet you can't beat me!" he shouted, quickly doggy paddling over to the other end of the pool, swimming away with a few large splashes at you to get an advantage.

the beomgyu advantage was always the most mischievous, unfair, and downright comical card he would pull when he felt in the mood to be a trickster. his mischief was known well between mutual friends and pretty much his entire family. he was always known as the class clown, that was your first impression of him when you met in college.

you always tried to get back at him, though, rolling your eyes with a certain competitive playfulness only he brought out in you. you swam after him as fast as you could, yearning to grab a piece of his shirt that floated loosely behind him.

before he could reach the ledge of the pool, you grabbed the material of his shirt, pulling him towards you and then wrapped your arms around him to climb onto his back. squeezing him tightly from behind you dug your chin into his neck, tickling him to no end. at this he yelled his usual, loud and exaggerated yell.

when he was distracted enough, you crawled around his body, pushing off of him to grab the ledge of the pool, throwing your arms up in victory.

"i won! i won!," you cheered, applauding yourself for successfully getting him back amidst his mischief. he smiled through large huffs, still catching his breath from the whole event. paddling toward you with a shrug in defeat, he softly placed his hands on your waist. a tiny smirk on his lips.

you were slightly suspicious; he didn't usually admit defeat this easily. and just at the brink of thought, before you could even move a muscle, he closed his fingers tightly around your waist, digging them into your most hyper-sensitive areas. he tickled you right back. waves of ticklish discomfort and laughter dispersed throughout your body, fighting to free yourself from him.

"i'll stop if you kiss me," he scrunched his face as water splashed him with how much you squirmed, immediately crashing your lips to his at the sound of his compromise. and as if he completely forgot what he was even doing, he melted right into the kiss, softening his grip on your waist.

but the kiss didn't last longer than two seconds as you quickly pecked his lips, leaving him with a pout; it was your way of teasing him back, sticking your tongue out at him with an evil smile. a cocky grin formed on his face as his bottom lip found its way between his teeth; you had only left him wanting more.

there was a sudden knock at the front door of your hotel room right before he could plot his revenge, his eyes fixated to you with a certain demise. but his face softened when your wide eyes fell to his, not able to stay annoyed at you for longer than two seconds at the sight of your curious expression.

"be right back," he softly pecked your lips before swimming away to the shallow steps; quickly exiting the pool with the sound of his drenched clothing pattering on the slick cement like heavy rainfall.

you observed his every move as he stepped out of the pool; the way his wet clothing clung so seamlessly to his body left you mesmerized.

your eyes didn't know where to focus due to the entirety of his beauty, so they were slowly drawn to the outline of his broad shoulders and abdomen through his shirt; admiring the way water dripped from his shorts down his long legs. and to say the least, the sight had you flustered by the second. your gaze trailed back up to his face; half covered by strands of dark, wet hair. god was he beautiful.

lazily drying himself off with a towel and throwing it over his shoulder, he quickly ran into the hotel room. the sound of him speaking briefly to the mystery person at the door in japanese echoed through the room. then after a few seconds, the sound of him closing the door, faintly heard by you from the pool.

the anticipation built up as the quick patter of his footsteps returned. he then emerged from the white curtain of the sliding glass door with what looked like a bottle of champagne and two thin, tall glasses.

a large grin surfaced to your lips as he pranced over to you, a pep in his step as he enthusiastically showcased the large bottle in hand.

"the finest champagne for the finest lady," he gestured, a sweet smile on his delicate lips that you could kiss for an eternity.

one of many things that you absolutely loved about choi beomgyu was how romantic he was. everything from flowers to chocolates, rose petal baths, or the way he caressed your body, the way he respected and cherished you. he never failed to make your heart melt, ever since day one.

"awww beomie!!" you swam over to the shallow end in excitement to where he awaited with an outstretched hand, offering it to you once you got close enough to the steps.

he helped you out of the pool, your white dress heavy with water as you wrung some of its weight out. you hugged his waist, shirt sticking to his skin now cold and damp.

suddenly, a gust of wind swept through the patio, instantly freezing your wet skin, the absence of body heat making you shiver.

"gyu, bring the champagne over to the hot tub!!" you exclaimed, quickly tip-toeing your way over to the warm relief of steaming water. you didn't notice your boyfriend's lingering eyes on you, observing your every move. he was cold too, but you warmed his heart with how cute you looked as you ran with a skip in your step, noticing the way your dress hugged your body closely.

walking over to the steaming hot tub, he set the bottle and glasses down with a clink, near the edge for easy access, not tearing his gaze from you once.

as you began to step into the bubbling water, you sucked air through your teeth, scoffing at the sheer heat of it. you decided to take it slow, holding onto the metal bar for support, inching your way into about knee height until you could tolerate the pleasurable burn.

"do you want me to help you in, pretty?" he asked as he noticed your struggle. with a nod of your head, he stepped into the steaming water onto the step behind you, softly hugging your waist for a moment to get by. he then lowered himself onto the step in front of you, turning to face you, his chin level with your chest.

your heart leaped at the beautiful sight before you; his face, fresh and adorned with dark, wet locks. not to mention his large, sparkling eyes looking up at you innocently as he maintained all eye contact.

he smiled sweetly as a dimple appeared on his cheek, nearing his face closer to your chest until his lips met the lacy material of your dress' neckline, not once tearing his gaze from yours.

to him, it was pretty much impossible not to give in. you're drop-dead gorgeous in your white sundress; the moon illuminating the dew of your skin, wet hair swept gorgeously over your shoulder. he was just head over heels for you.

you could feel his smile grow between your breasts as he grinned against the wet material of the dress but then pulled away, giving you a small wink. a little tease he was.

gently biting at your lip, you smirked, playfully rolling your eyes at his teasing gesture. he smiled back, followed by a low giggle; he knew perfectly what he was doing. you splashed water at him. teasing one another; a never-ending game it was.

"are you gonna help me in or what?" you put your hands on your hips, tilting your head to add a little more sass. he grinned at your gesture and threw two hands up in defense, finding your sassiness the cutest thing in the world.

"okay, okay! here, i'll get in first and then you get on my shoulders and i'll slowly lower you in," he suggested, turning around and sinking down further into the water until only his head poked out of the steaming surface.

you could only think- how on earth was he able to wade neck deep into the hot tub without a second of hesitation?? the water felt like molten lava. maybe he is an actual bear disguised as a handsome boy.

he turned to look at you, one of his thick eyebrows raised in question under his wet hair, as to ask what's taking you so long.

you giggled at him, walking forward until your thighs were pressed against his back. you balanced as you put one leg on his right shoulder, and then the other.

using your free hands, you placed them under his chin to better secure yourself onto him, laughing as your thighs nearly engulfed his neck. taking this cue, he began walking forward, your stomach jolting at the heat climbing up higher and higher on your skin.

finally, the two of you were amidst the bubbling water, goosebumps decorating your skin at the pleasurable sensation the heat dispersed all over your body. you climbed down from his shoulders and onto his back, hugging the loose material of his shirt, which tickled your skin with every of his movements.

he took you into his arms playfully, hugging you tightly underwater. these kinds of embraces were best; when he pressed you so close you could hardly catch your next breath.

the two of you sat in silence for a while, nuzzling into his shoulder as you basked in the whir of bubbles, moonlight, the city view; just enjoying the moment.

"ah! how could i forget," he suddenly exclaimed from beside you, calling your attention as he shifted his weight around. he reached over, pulling the champagne from out of its ice-filled bucket.

he used his strength to twist the cork off, leaving you infatuated at the way the veins in his arms accentuated in this steamy lighting. a loud pop sounded as bubbles began to gush from the bottle, his loud laugh overpowering your small cheers as he raised the bottle in the air like it was a trophy he had just won. we won't talk about the one time he pelted you in the head with the cork on your twenty-first birthday.

he noticed the way you slightly hid behind his shoulder at the pop of the bottle, leaning over to kiss your forehead, right over the long-gone (once bright purple) bruise of the cork.

"i haven't forgotten about that," he cooed into your skin, pecking the area once more.

"cheers to not getting pelted by the cork this time," you raised your glass in the air once he had filled two servings with the fizzy drink. he interjected; "aaaaand for also for being the best girlfriend in the world," he nudged you with his elbow and you rolled your eyes playfully, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.

"cheers, i guess" you chimed in sarcastically, trying to hide your smile, failing miserably when his laughter controlled your senses, collapsing your head into his shoulder. you clinked your glasses together before taking a sip of the bubbly beverage, its peach sparkle tickling your mouth.

"mmm peach!" you closed your eyes in delight, taking another sip of the stinging carbonation. "delicious like you," he replied smoothly like always, never failing to make you blush with his cheesy yet adorable remarks.

you sipped on the bubbly goodness slowly growing relaxed, observing the city lights grow brighter as the night became more alive. it wasn't long before you two became a hysterical mess, taking turns pouring champagne into one another's mouths and competing to see who could go the longest without laughing and spitting it out everywhere. your face ached with how much you smiled with puffed cheeks, fighting the urge to absolutely lose it (ultimately losing it).  

downing the last of the champagne together, you watched as some drizzled out of his mouth and down his neck, following a path over his adams apple, admiring the sexy sight. you licked the trail from his neck and soon, fingers were intertwined in his hair, lips interlocked, tasting the peach bubbles inside eachother's mouths, messily making out with it. you just wanted to taste every bit of him.

~

moments passed as the once delirious mood slowly faded into the night. the two of you laid your heads back so that they perfectly reclined on the smooth tile that rimmed the jacuzzi. warm steam and moonlight cast onto your faces brightly, illuminating every little expression, smile, and laugh as you talked about anything and everything.

"i think that's saturn," he spoke enthusiastically from beside you, pointing up at one of many small specks in the dark sky.

"really? because what i remember from taking that astronomy class like- sophomore year, it's actually mars," you teased, looking over at him with that smart-alec expression you liked to use. he returned the expression, crossing his arms dramatically underwater as he formulated a comeback.

"well, from what i remember in astronomy class was that i got an A plus and you got an A minus," he retorted, looking over at you with a proud expression, lips protruding, head tilted back. you couldn't help but notice the resemblance between him and a little duck in this moment, and all the moments he was proud of himself or simply just being a goofball.

you rolled your eyes, trying your hardest to keep a serious expression by pushing your smile down, but it just couldn't stay down; one glance at his face and your lips contorted into the biggest grin ever. he turned to look at you with a smile of his own, moonlight illuminating every crevice of his features from his dimple to the little whiskers that formed next to his doe eyes, your heart aflutter.

your squeezed his hand underwater, turning to look back up at the speckled sky, focusing on the bright moon directly above you. your smile settled as you entered a moment of thought, drifting to one you held deeply, one that settled your mood into a more solemn one, your heart heavy with it.

"you know, its crazy to think that we only live once, and that one day we'll just be...gone," you spewed out, eyes so focused on the moon that you could begin to see its craters. at this, beomgyu looked over at you in all seriousness. he dawned over your remark for a while, just the breeze and gentle jacuzzi bubbles heard between you.

"but i think that's what makes life beautiful, in a way. that we're only here for a limited amount of time. and i'm grateful i get to spend it with you," he responded, his soft voice like the small glowing clouds floating amongst the moon. you turned to look at him to find him already looking at you, cheek squished against the tile of the jacuzzi. his eyes radiated nothing but light.

you thought; if you could, you would give him the moon. out of everything he's done for you, who he is as a person; that was the least he deserved. really, it seemed that nothing on this planet could shine brighter than the light that radiated off of this boy.

but if you could just see it from his perspective, you didn't need to give him the moon, because he already had you. and that was all he needed. you were his moon and he was your sun. like the sun and moon; you both shine brightly, no matter how much you might contrast; you are ultimately perfect just the way you are.

because when the sun and the moon are in the sky at the same time, they are even more beautiful together.

you just sat there in silence, the sides of your cheeks pressed to the cool tile as you stared at one another, smiles slowly fading as thickness fogged the air. his gaze fixed on each of your eyes individually, searching them like they were treasure chests filled with gold. your face warmer than the hot tub steam.

"dummy" he thwarted your forehead with his index and thumb, a gesture he made to lighten the mood. "you know i'll be by your side forever, " he rolled his eyes with a small chuckle. he was right. you giggled, forgetting about your solemn mood.

faces only inches apart, his smile settled so that his lips were now only slightly parted, moving slowly to meet them with yours. your lips locked at the slowest pace possible, perfectly connecting like the last piece of a puzzle; like they were made for each other. he gently took your bottom lip in between his. you felt his warm, wet hand on the side of your face, droplets of water scurrying from his wrist to your cheek and then down to your neck.

the kisses were slow and passionate, sucking at his full lips as he occasionally nibbled at yours. beomgyu was such a great kisser, caressing your face and neck with a gentle touch, smoothly gliding his tongue in all the right places, making the most of every second your lips were connected.

it gave you goosebumps how good he was, actually. every single kiss was always absolutely perfect, no matter how many you had shared together; quick ones, silly ones, drunk ones, teary-eyed ones, passion-filled ones. it always felt like the first, hearts beating quickly as a subtle warmth blanketed you.

"i love you to the moon and back," you whispered against his nose once you had come up for a breath. this was a rather new thing you had begun saying to one another, one that really only started since coming to japan. it was like the moon radiated so much brighter here, when in reality was most likely just an illusion. it was your love that was glowing more than ever.

"well i love you way beyond the moon," he one-upped you, a small smile on his lips as he rejoined them to yours. as you shared your kiss, a small rumble came from the sky, a cool drop of water pelting your forehead.

drop after drop began plopping into the water around you, inviting a soft gasp from your boyfriend's lips. but you just kissed there, basking in peaceful silence, enjoying the pattering of rain all around you. he held your hand underwater, clutching it tighter as the rain fell harder. it was like you were the only two people in the entire world and the rain only added to its ambiance.

the pace that he kissed you slowed until you pulled away to meet his starry gaze. the rain quickened, plopping into the hot tub steadily, matting your hair down even more than it already was.

without a word, he began pulling you to the jacuzzi steps until you exited its warmth with the heaviness of your white sundress. your clothes, drenched in water, enhanced the pitter-patter on the concrete creating a rainfall of your own.

walking you over to the small platform that was the bit of open space next to the jacuzzi with a perfect view of the city, he turned to face you with his hand outstretched.

"may i have this dance?" he held his hand out, bowing his head and all. you giggled; he still managed to charm you no matter how cheesy he was at times. but what more could this boy possibly do to make you fall deeper in love? you thought it was impossible to love someone more than you did him; you just loved him more and more every day that your heart ached.

grinning, you took his hand, melting into him as you pressed the side of your cheek to the damp fabric of his chest, beginning to gently sway with the gentle beat of the rain. the moonlight peeked through a haze of clouds above you as the rain fell with its signature murmur, cool droplets pelting your skin.

two star-crossed lovers dancing under the bright speckles of the night sky; you couldn't ask for anything better in this moment. it was absolutely perfect.

he rested his cheek on the crown of your head, beginning to hum a gentle, unfamiliar tune. must be a new song he's writing, you thought to yourself, as that's what was usually the case when he hummed a foreign tune.

he hugged your lower back, fiddling with the frayed edge of your wet dress with his eyes closed, opening them to meet yours when you looked up at him. he knew that curious gleam in your eye the moment he saw it; a yearning to ask a question without asking it. he knew you all too well.

"it's called nap of a star," he enlightened you with his soft voice. "i only have the melody and first few lyrics figured out though, it's a work in progress." he smiled, kissing the tip of your nose before looking out at tokyo's city lights.

you observed the city's glimmer in his dark eyes, large and filled with wonder. his eyes were filled with his sort of searching. like any little detail in the air could be used as inspiration for his song.

"will you sing it for me when it's done?" you asked without tearing your gaze from him once.

he glanced back down at you with smiling eyes "i promise," he answered without hesitation. deep down, he loved that question with his entire heart, no matter how nervous he'd get when the actual moment came. he loved that you wanted to hear his music. after all, it was the most vulnerable of his creations. only the most special person did he choose to share it with.

~

it wasn't until a crack of thunder and a bright flash of lightning not too far ahead that you both decided it was no longer safe to be outside. interesting how such a beautiful thing could quickly become something dangerous.

"i have something to show you," he pulled you towards the sliding door of the hotel room, hands interlaced tightly as your drenched clothes sloshed with every step. you giggled as excitement brimmed within you, following your boyfriend's wet footprints on the cement.

approaching the sliding glass door, beomgyu halted you in your steps; practically walking straight into what felt like a wall as he stood in front of the curtain with his arms crossed, denying you entry to the room.

"are you ready?" he questioned you. of course, your large smile gave your obvious answer away.

"close your eyes for me," he ordered, his voice chiming from behind you now as everything had faded to pitch black with the warmth of his hands cupped over your eyes. he blindly led you through the sliding glass door, finding your footing into the cold, hotel-scented air of the room.

he began counting down from three once you took a step into the room, slowly removing his hands when he reached one.

"tadaaaaa," his sweet voice chimed from behind you as you slowly fluttered your eyes open to reveal what had your hand over your mouth.

before you, a large heart decorated the king-sized bed with what you quickly made out to be rose petals, the room flickering with the light of candles all around the bedside table. a soft glow of fairy lights decorated the headboard, the faint sound of your playlist echoing in the background. it was absolutely perfect. the ambiance was like something out of a dream.

"choi beomgyu you did not!" you jumped into his arms, looking into his eyes with such elation and gratitude. so this is was what he was busy doing several hours ago before he catapulted me into the pool, you realized.

"this is amazing," your heart lept with love and adoration for him that you simply wanted to explode, hugging him as tight as humanly possible, earning a groan from him.

you looked around the room some more to discover flower petals scattered in a pathway leading to the bathroom. he had the entire night planned just for the two of you, romance just seeped in the air.

he grabbed your hand, inviting you further into the room. to this, you sensed just how soggy your clothes were pressed against you.

"wait gyu, my clothes are drenched," you halted, pulling the wet fabric over your head and tossing it onto the patio outside with a heavy thud. beomgyu just watched in awe, nearly forgetting his own name because of how beautiful you looked in your lacy bra and underwear.

everything about the way you pulled it off of yourself was so sexy to him, the sight of lace pressed against your bare skin left him mesmerized. he just stood there admiring you, shaggy hair fluffed over dazed eyes as his damp clothing clung to his increasingly warm skin. he just couldn't wait to take the rest of it off of you.

he snapped back into reality when your eyes locked, looking down at his own wet clothes sticking to his skin; large black shirt and shorts. he began to lift his shirt off when he felt a sudden lightness as you helped him pull it over his head.

you blindly chucked the soaked shirt outside next to your abandoned white dress with another hefty thud. his hair had been ruffled from the wet shirt, inviting a soft grin to your lips at how handsome he looked. you loved it when his hair was all messy like this, adorning him with a kind of sexiness you couldn't even begin to describe. you thought maybe he would be able to see the hearts floating in your eyes if he looked deep enough.

"what?" he questioned, tilting his head to one side curiously as he noticed the rosy tinge on your cheeks, a smile on his pretty lips. instead of telling him the truth about what you were fawning over, you continued gliding your fingers down his now bare torso, until you reached the waistband of his shorts.

his eyes followed your fingers, which gently ghosted over the imprint of the growing tent in his briefs, only for a second as you returned to glide them back up his chest, then to the soft skin of his face. he watched you in awe, attentive to every trace and trail left by your fingers.

using your thumb, you gently swiped it over the delicate skin of his bottom lip, pulling it down to barely reveal the glimmer of his teeth. standing on your tip toes, you inched your face ever so slowly, so close to his until your noses touched, so focused into the depths of his eyes.

"what about these?" you whispered against his lips, hooking a finger under his waistband and releasing it with a snap.

lips parted, he stared deeply into your gaze, searching from one eye into the other with a hungry glimmer, making your heart beat quicker than ever before. the look he gave you at this very moment; you could simply collapse with the intensity of it.

you wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your hips tightly against his. you knew damn well what you were doing as a low grunt escaped his throat, sucking his bottom lip in between his teeth at the sensation. he couldn't handle one more passing second of this bone-crushing tension as he finally gave in, pressing his lips to yours so passionately hard.

"you're irresistible," he mumbled with a clenched jaw, crashing your lips back together like they were magnets. the kisses were deep and desperate, hungry for each other as you fumbled with the waistband of his shorts again, trying to undo the tedious knot of the strings as you both began stumbling into the room.

dropping his wet shorts to the floor, he kicked them out of the room as he slid the glass door closed with his foot, blindly walking backward. your hands on his chest as he cupped your face, messily kissing you.

as his heel reached the base of the bed, you lightly pushed him down so that he plopped down on the bed's edge. you stood in between his slightly spread legs, his lips level to your chest as he stared up at you with doe eyes; mouth parted as his bottom lip caught on the lace material of your bra, pulling you close.

this time a glint of lust crept into his large gaze; a certain glint you could read from a mile away. he needed you. all of you.

feather light, he skimmed his fingers down your now bare legs, the absence of your skirt intensifying the sensitivity of your skin.

small water droplets fell from the ends of your hair and dripped down onto his bare chest. you almost thought they would evaporate at the contact due to how hot his skin was growing against yours. he trailed his hands up your back, skimming the clasp of your bra, doing everything in his power not to just rip it right off of you.

cupping his jaw, you crashed your lips to his again and amidst a deep makeout, he undid the clasp of your bra, sensing its pressure release from your back until it hung lazily on your chest. he pulled back to observe it slide down your damp skin, gentle fingers helping the straps from your shoulders. he watched as your bare chest became revealed in front of his eyes.

a small, mischievous grin formed on his lips and you wondered what his next move could possibly be. he took your bra and put it on like a hat; cups atop his head, straps secured under his chin. he looked like the bear he was.

this reminded you of a nickname you used to call him: beomie bear. it used to even be his contact name for the longest time way back when you barely started dating. you smiled, recalling the ridiculously cute endearment that just fit him perfectly. you both laughed at his silliness.

"beomie bear" you giggled, pecking his lips as he gasped dramatically. he wore a huge grin on his face, pretty teeth shining brightly as his mouth fell open in surprise.

"you haven't called me that in years!" he kissed you back, chest filling with warmth at the special endearment of his name. hugging your waist, he pressed his cheek to your chest as you ruffled his damp hair, memories flooding back.

it took him back to the early months of your relationship; when you were still a bit shy with one another romantically, but also a pair of best friends who had dance parties in your dorm room at 2am while eating ramen and doing facemasks.

he remembered the exact moment you called him that name; it was when slid your fluffy bear headband over his (once) blonde hair to do his skincare one night in the bathroom of your dorm after movie night, kissing his face with how cute he looked. your voice rang through his memories; haha you look like a bear! my beomie bear. your smiling face replayed in his daydream, the elation of that moment returning to him.

that memory was a passing thought in your mind too, remembering how young and in love you had always been. if anything, your love had grown double, triple that. but he will always be your beomie bear, no matter how much you age together, the love you shared at 2am in that dorm room will always last.

pulling back, his eyes trailed down to admire your chest, teeth over his bottom lip as he smiled. the way the soft candlelight flickered on your damp skin; it was absolutely perfect in his eyes. dropping the makeshift bra hat, he moved his cool hands to palm each of your breasts. you sighed in response, a certain heat tickling your core as he placed a single kiss in between them.

he wanted to show you how much he loved you every day, and in these particular moments, he wanted to make you feel his love in every way possible.

his parted lips skimmed your chest, breath warming your skin before taking one of your buds into his mouth. he slowly swirled it with his tongue while gently squeezing the other, staring up at you with those eyes. the eyes you couldn't ever resist. the crash of thunder electrified your skin, rain drumming against the window like your heart against your chest.

your breathing grew heavier by the second, hands tangled into his hair as you hugged him close to your body, subtle whimpers escaping your mouth as you grew more and more desperate for him.

you angled his face up to yours with a finger on his chin, taking his full, bottom lip in between your teeth as you teased it. at this, he squeezed the plush of your hips, slowly tracing a path up the sensitive skin of your inner thigh.

slipping past the elastic, he slowly began exploring underneath your panties with two fingers. you shuddered as he reached your bundle of nerves, rubbing small circles onto it as you subtly moaned into his parted lips.

he hummed as he got to your core, tracing around your slippery arousal. "do you want me to start with one finger or two, my love?" he softly inquired, looking up at you through scrunched pieces of his bangs.

"i want all of you," you replied, wrapping your arms around his back to pull him even closer.

his gaze narrowed, a small smirk on his lips as he suddenly wrapped his arms below your hips. he picked you up swiftly; switching your positions and gently laid you down onto the bed. the sheets cooled your damp skin as he climbed on top of you, hooking his arms under your shoulders.

you could practically feel the fire inside him radiating through his skin, hot with passion and need. the fires inside of you just begged to be set aflame, joined together to create an even greater one. tonight your love was just that, the flames growing the more fuel was added to it; bodies pressed together tightly as you devoured one another's lips.

continuing his prior endeavor, he began trailing butterfly kisses down your neck, heat radiating from your body as he sucked several marks of his to decorate your pretty chest. his fingers against your skin felt as soft as the flower petals on the bed, inviting chills your body's surface with each trail he left.

"i forgot something," he slowly kissed you once more before getting up from the bed, his body heat escaping yours and quickly becoming replaced by the cold air conditioner. your eyes glued to him, you watched him excitedly run in his boxers over to the hotel door, unlocking it and slowly opening it.

"beomgyu what are you doing?" you sat up quickly in surprise, pulling the nearest pillow to cover your bare chest.

"i'm just placing the do-not-disturb sign on the door," he mischievously giggled, quickly shutting and locking the door once he was done. you threw the pillow at him as he tiptoed back to the bed, playfully rolling your eyes through a sigh of relief.

"you scared me, im half naked here!" you jokingly scolded him, followed by a choked laugh as he jumped back onto the bed, tackling you like his life depended on it. he drowned your neck in kisses again, laughing and squirming as he hugged you tightly, his hair tickling your skin.

mouths reuniting, you smiled against his soft lips, feeling his grin against yours. you couldn't help but feel both anxious and excited for the moments to come.

the mere thought of making love to your boyfriend always made you blush and kick your feet like it was the first. beomgyu just knew how to take care of you; emotionally, physically, mentally, sexually, all at once. he knew all the right spots, all the right things to say. he simply made your heart melt. in every way.

he always wanted to cherish your body and make sure you felt good; to him it was what you deserved and no less. and you two had grown a lot since you first began dating- not even able to take yourselves seriously at first due to insecurities and fear of judgment. but beomgyu always made you feel loved; he showed love to even your least favorite parts of yourself. he watered the seeds in your heart; helping you blossom and grow.

"you are heaven," his hot breath seeped into your ear, chills making themselves known on your skin. your stomach twisted as he kissed a trail down your neck, in between your breasts, and down to the most sensitive skin of your lower stomach; never once tearing his gaze from yours.

one thing about beomgyu was that he loved eye contact, especially during intimate moments. he loved the tension that built the longer you locked eyes, watching every little expression of yours, entranced by every shimmer in your eye.

he nipped at the lacy hem of your underwear, stopping before pulling them off; softly rubbing the wet patch of the fabric with his thumb.

"already so wet for me baby?" he cooed in the deepest of voices, looking up at you with his head innocently cocked to the side. you hummed in response, he knew what he was doing; god, how he turned you on. he teased you by skimming his lips over the dark spot before pulling them off as slowly as possible.

he watched like a starving man getting a full-course dinner feast revealed before him, observing the way strands of your wetness stretched as they clung to the fabric.

he looked up at you through dark strands of hair, wrapping his arms around your thighs to pull you even closer to him. he spread your legs open as he propped them onto each of his shoulders, getting a perfect view of your entirety. the chills on your skin intensified as you sensed his warm breath against your wetness, pulsating in need for his touch.

"you're my favorite snack," he sexily giggled against your thigh, pressing wet kisses all along the plush skin. he knew you loved it when he spoke in his satoori accent, especially during moments like these. he whispered dirty things into your skin, telling you every little thing he wanted to do to you. your breathing hitched, absolutely fawning over it all; his sensual voice had your heart doing flips, body aching for every bit of him.

he slowly lowered his mouth to your most sensitive area, your breath instantly shuddered at how amazing he felt. his chocolate hair tickled your inner thighs, adding to the pleasure. he loved the way his name left your lips with every flick of his tongue, eating you out deliciously; licking and sucking all the right places. it simply couldn't get any better.

you slightly propped yourself up on your elbows to get a better look, only to find his eyes already on yours, glued to yours in pure seduction. you took in the beautiful sight that was his pretty face in between your legs, tongue flicking at what felt like a hundred miles an hour; your body beginning to twitch at how amazing it felt.

you quietly chuckled to yourself, realizing just how fast he could move his tongue. "hmm?" he hummed against your skin at the sound of your giggle, looking up at you quizzically; his lips glossy from your wetness. he wiped them clean, breathing heavily as sweat beads began to form on his skin.

"you know sometimes i think your mouth really is made of a motor," you giggled, looking down at him. he thew his head back, a deep laugh exiting.

"yeah? like this?" he lowered his mouth back down, lightly circling over your clit with his tongue before speeding up the pace again, leaving you speechless. your smile faded as he ate you out so lewdly, staring at you so intensely; nothing seemed funny anymore.

his boxers tented due to how painfully hard he was at the sight of you; your scent, your taste, the sounds you made, the way your pretty eyes gazed upon him. everything about you had him intoxicated with lust, drunk in love.

he licked two of his fingers, slowly sinking them into you while curling upwards just the way you needed it. this combination electrified your body with every stroke of his fingers and swirl of his tongue until your lower stomach began to tighten in pleasure, only intensifying with his pace.

"right there gyu, don't stop," you mumbled as coherently as you could, throwing your head back aggressively, overcome with pleasure. eyes sewn shut, the ticklish knot in your stomach tightened as he perfectly rubbed the spot inside you, flicking his tongue just right every single time. you began to grind against his fingers, arching your back as you climbed up the mountain of pleasure, sensing your climax approach at any time now.

he kept his pace when he felt you tighten around his fingers, watching in awe as your once tensed muscles released, your body spasming as pleasure rolled through you in waves. your chest rose and fell intensely as you caught your breath, legs collapsing to one side as you lay in complete stillness, only your forearms keeping you up as your head was completely thrown behind you.

he attended to you, quickly getting up to help lay you back onto the bed, supporting the back of your head as he gingerly lowered it to the cold sheets.

he lay propped onto his elbow as you recovered from your climax, nuzzling into him as you felt his weight next to you. he watched your face, observing the way your eyes were gently fluttered closed, a small smile on your lips; completely overtaken by the warm fuzz of pleasure. he was simply glad; that's all he wanted, was to make you feel good. he smiled.

floating in the clouds, weightless; your body like jello with how relaxed you felt. you lay there, lost in thought about what had just happened as your breathing slowly returned to normal. you thought about how good he is; just how amazing he is.

you thought about his face; full lips when they kiss you or draw up into a pretty smile. his dark eyes when candlelight flickers in them, like speckled marbles. the sound of his deep voice against your skin. you wanted him. you needed him. so bad.

heat pulsated between your legs at the thought of him inside you and his member was no secret as it nudged your thigh, wet spots on the plaid material of his boxers. without speaking, your bodies said it all.

you looked over at him as he was in the middle of gently tracing your collarbones with his fingertips. your heart ached for him; he was just so patient with you. in this moment, all you wanted was to satistfy him just as much as he did you, make him feel just as good.

without a word you gently grabbed his face and crashed your lips to his again, hungry; this time with all the more passion. he melted right in, the need for you prevalent in his mannerisms. he crawled over you, situating himself on top; a knee in between your crotch as you ground against it for some relief.

you helped his boxers off of him, throwing them far across the room like you did with every last article of clothing. with nothing between you now, his skin melted against yours like warm sand, running his fingers up your sides and into your hair as you lay beneath him. 

his scent wafted into your nose with every of his movements, like warm cinnamon tea on a foggy morning; melting your brain with every inhale. you felt so warm and safe here, like you were in heaven. absolutely no worries or outside thoughts in mind, just beomgyu and this moment. this perfect moment.

he kissed and kissed you before gently grabbing both of your wrists, pinning them to either side of your head. the feeling of your arms exposed to the chilly air and out of your control had your stomach twisting and turning with desire, your skin burning for him.

"is this okay?" he softly asked against your lips, eyes starry and wide, filled with trillions of galaxies. it was almost funny how innocent he looked, yet how mischievous he was on the daily and how dirty he could be in bed. you loved it.

"more than okay," you whispered back, a certain intensity in your eyes left him mesmerized for a few moments, just wanting to stare for eternity. he smirked, burying his face into your neck so that his hair tickled your skin before kissing his way down to one of your breasts.

it was like he was tickling you and pleasuring you at the same time; you didn't know whether to moan or to laugh. a mixture of both came out, arching your back under his feathery touch. the deep bass of a song from your playlist seeped from his speaker; making the air thicker, hotter. he always made music sound better. he always made everything better.

wrapping your legs around his lower back to pull him closer, you began grinding yourself against the hardness that lay flush against his stomach. he teased you, beginning to thrust himself up against your wet folds, breathy moans escaping both of your mouths at how much you needed one another.

"beom- please," you whimpered against his lips, desperation prevalent in your eyes. he decided he had teased you enough, that he couldn't go any longer without being one with you.

nudging your legs further apart with his knees, he aligned himself with your entrance as he slowly entered you with his tip, nearly driving you crazy. he leaned down to kiss you, deepening the kiss as he deepened himself at an excruciatingly slow pace, eventually bottoming out inside of you with a subtle twitch.

"my god beomgyu," you sucked air through your teeth at his size, which you never quite got used to no matter how many times you had made love. the way he perfectly stretched you out simply left you speechless, needing every bit of him.

he always went slow so as not to hurt you, able to gauge when you were comfortable enough to go a little faster. his grip on your wrists slightly tightened as you fluttered around him, making it extra hard for him to control his pace. his breathing shuddered and he moaned into your lips, burying his head into your neck as he cursed at the sheer pleasure.

"fuck- you feel amazing" he groaned against your neck, slowly grinding his hips against yours, feeling every crevice inside you throb and flutter around him. you were the best feeling in the world.

both of your soft moans mixed with the patter of rain on the large glass windows of the hotel. only soft candlelight, fairy lights, and the city glow illuminated the room; casting your moving shadows onto the wall, along with the moonlight that peaked in through the curtains.

his dainty silver necklace tickled your neck as it dangled onto you, fingers intertwined tightly with his and still pinned over your head as you passionately made out. he thrust into you so sweetly, so perfectly you felt you could cry.

"you feel amazing too, gyu," was all you could say before your voice hitched and your eyes began to well. you don't know why you got so emotional all of a sudden; something about experiencing the utmost form of connection with the person you loved most had warm tears of happiness streaming down your cheeks.

his eyes were quick to fill with worry, searching quickly from eye to eye as he completely stopped thrusting into you.

"angel are you okay? what's wrong? did i do something?" his voice came out small and filled with worry, his fingers released yours and came up to wipe away the wetness on your face.

"yes gyu i'm okay," you laughed as the tears rolled out. "i just- i love you," you sniffled with a smile. he sighed of relief that you were okay, letting his forehead fall to yours. he softly chuckled after a moment, kissing the tip of your nose.

"i love you. more than you know," he whispered to you, staring into the depths of your eyes; to which you noticed were more shimmery than usual in the candlelight. he was tearing up too. your heart ached to see him cry, but crying during sex wasn't a complete rarity for the two of you. you felt better knowing they were happy tears rather than sad ones.

"is it okay if i continue?," he asked, his glossy eyes glittering in the candlelight as his lips curved into a small smile, a droplet hanging from the tip of his nose.

"please," you pleaded, wiping your face with the inner part of your arm. he began slowly moving in and out of you again, never once taking your eyes off of his. some of his tears dripped onto your face, making the both of you laugh. "oops," he smiled as he wiped them off with his thumb.

he got a frivolous idea: using his tongue to wipe your tears. you scoffed at him, scrunching your face at the feeling of his warm tongue tickling your cheek.

"mmm salty," he giggled, rays coming from that toothy grin of his that you so loved. you felt lost in the abyss of his eyes, just the two of you floating away in the space held in your hearts. a space that held only him and a space that held only you.

you noticed his smile slightly fade as his eyes searched yours, fingers finding their way to your hair.

"i remember the very first time i saw you. you're the most beautiful person i've ever seen. inside and out. and you always will be." another of his tears dripped onto your nose and slid down the crevices of your skin. he just stared at you, alternating from eye to eye, like he hadn't ever seen anything quite as fascinating as you.

"beomgyu you're gonna make me ugly cry," you chortled, eyes blurring and then spilling over. you reached up and gave him the tightest hug you could, feeling him bottom out inside of you and stay there, hugging you back even tighter.

these were the moments you realized you needed absolutely nothing else in life. just him. just him and you were the happiest girl on the entire planet. he's the center of your universe; there's nothing better on this planet than the love you share.

"i'm so glad i met you," your voice came out muffled in his warm shoulder, which you used to wipe off your wet nose. his back heaved as he exhaled, relaxing into the hug; pressing kisses to your jaw, then to your lips. both of your eyes and noses red and stuffy now, and you smiled in pure happiness as your teeth began to clash with one another's. "me too."

his tongue made its way to yours, kissing you so sweetly with little nibbles to your lip in between. he began to pick up his pace, deliciously grinding his hips against yours as he softly groaned against your lips.

the intensity of pleasure was a lot more amplified now; you don't know if it was because you had grown even more emotionally connected or if you were getting close to finishing again. but oh my, did he feel amazing.

you couldn't seem to quiet your whimpers as he thrust into you so deeply and steadily, wet sounds coming from in between your bodies. his hair clung to his forehead due to the condensation when you went to grab a handful of it, sweat dripping down his face and onto his neck. he hooked one of your legs with his arm, deepening his strokes inside of you.

"so fucking good," he panted against your lips as he pounded into you at a faster pace now, the bed beginning to creak with each of his thrusts. each time your name spewed from his lips, you felt your heart do a flip, absolutely weak at the way it rolled off of his tongue perfectly.

knowing that you made him feel so good only intensified your pleasure, feeling him throb and twitch inside you nearly had you at the edge again.

no matter how many different positions the two of you have tried over time, nothing could beat this one; your leg supported by his arm and bent over his shoulder as he rolled his hips against yours, hitting your g-spot just right with every thrust.

not only did it feel amazing, it granted you the ability to see every glimmer in his eyes and kiss him, feel the warmth of his breath on your skin, his weight pressed to you. you connected best, not only physically but emotionally.

you watched his face as he watched yours; his eyebrows knitted in pleasure, mouth agape and lips plump and red with how much you had kissed them. sweat beads dripped down his face and neck.

you simply couldn't put together the words that described beomgyu. you realized that the word beautiful was made to describe someone far simpler than him.

tasting the beads of salt pouring down his skin, you caught some that ran down to his lips as you sweetly kissed. his moans and grunts grew louder and more frequent, a telltale sign that we was right there, right at the edge. he dropped his forehead to yours, cold sweat sliding onto your skin from his, staring practically into your soul.

with one final deep thrust, he tightly shut his eyes and went completely over the edge, releasing his warmth inside of you. the sound of your name coherent through breathy moans and whimpers, sending chills up your spine.

although you hadn't yet finished, he sensed you were extremely close as he felt you tighten and flutter around him, slightly overstimulating himself with a few more thrusts to help push you over the edge as well.

your hips bucked and rolled against his as you came, his name escaping your lips lewdly as waves of pleasure carried you to cloud 9 once again, arching your back at the sheer pleasure.

he collapsed on top of you, both a huffing, sweaty mess; still twitching inside of you. euphoria coursed through your veins at the feeling of his body weight on you; both floating amongst the clouds, basking in the afterglow of pleasure as you recovered from your climaxes.

he buried his hands under your back, squeezing you into a tight hug. you stayed like this, feeling his heart strum through his chest and onto yours, sensing it slow with his breathing as he calmed down.

after a moment he brought his lips to yours in a soft kiss, tasting the saltiness of dried sweat and tears on his lips, not caring that you were both a total mess, hair completely plastered to wet foreheads. he gazed at you through smiling eyes, quietly giggling in joy, dawning over the amazing loved you shared. he propped his head in his elbow to gaze at you.

you just lay there for who knows how long, simply admiring one another, faces illuminated by candles reflecting from white bedsheets. lost in the flicker of the flame in his eyes, the warmth of his skin sept into yours as you traced the outline of his back. having memorized the map of each freckle and scar; taking in the utter beauty that was his existence.

you wondered how you lived before knowing him. because with him, colors shine brighter, music sounds better, life is happier. it is a life worth living a thousand times.

~

fog seeped from under the door of the rose-scattered, candlelit bathroom. scribbles of initials and small doodles of hearts and stars decorated the fog-stained glass doors of the shower.

it was an all glass, walk-in with water that fell like rain from a large square on the ceiling; by far the most luxurious shower you had ever used. man, had your boyfriend scored a great hotel for you both.

the two of you stood amidst the warm water, his back pressed to your chest as you shampooed his hair, taking note of how long it was getting as the silky strands fell through your fingers with the weight of soapy water.

he turned around to face you, a beard of bubbles on his chin. "what do you think?" earned a laugh from you, your giggles echoing throughout the spacious bathroom as you both goofed around like usual.

showering with beomgyu was as normal as breathing; you can't even remember the last time you showered alone.

your shower routine was different every time as it usually followed the flow of your emotions: sometimes it was more quiet, just observing one another through the clouds of steam, lost in gentle conversation about whatever it may be.

sometimes the room echoed with delirious noises as you doubled over with how hard you laughed, having to use the wall to keep you standing.

and sometimes your lips wouldn't come apart so much as to catch your breath as he lifted you up against the wall, your legs wrapped around his hips as your bodies did the talking.

but tonight, you were brimming with happiness as your playlist echoed from his speaker, mouthing the lyrics to him like you were the lead singer. he sang along with you, taking your hands in his and swinging them back and forth with the beat.

he watched you, completely enamored by the way your smiling face was illuminated by dim lighting, cheeks flushed with steam, the way your laugh echoed through the room. showering with you had always been one of his favorite parts of the day, it felt like your own little world where no other thoughts or people could enter. just you.

like always, you took turns washing one another. he rubbed soap onto your body with his hands, the feeling of your wet, bare skin entrancing him; using the excuse that he needed more soap as he poured a large amount into his hands, gliding them up and down your torso. you did the same, massaging his shoulders with the slick help of body wash, both addicted to the sensation of his skin and trying to loosen the ginormous knots he somehow carried in his muscles.

the clean scents of different soaps intermingled in the air to create one of your favorite scents in the world; the scent of washing off yet another day's adventure with your favorite person, freshening up just to start the day with him tomorrow to do it all over again.

you found yourself staring at him in absolute awe as he angled his head back under the shower head, time moving in what felt like slow motion as water drizzled down his bare skin; you could simply stare at him forever. he rubbed the water from his eyes, forehead exposed as his hair had been slicked back by the heavy stream. he stepped towards you, running fingers through it as some pieces fell messily on his forehead. it almost felt surreal that he was yours.

"i have some facemasks for us," he reached to turn the water off once you were all done rinsing off, grabbing you a towel from outside the glass door. your eyes lit up in excitement at the sound of these six words, the largest smile growing on your face. he wrapped the fresh linen around you like a burrito, giving you a big hug. the warmth he exuded transcended anything you had ever felt; like an eternal ray of sunshine right by your side. always.

~

after drying off, it was like the two of you were nineteen all over again. sitting on the bathroom counter wearing his oversized shirt and boxers, a laughing mess as he stood in front of you applying a face mask to your skin. his eyes met yours every few seconds, constantly drawn like two magnets; you could hardly keep a straight face with how close he leaned into you.

you closed your eyes in relaxation at the sensation of the mask's cooling texture, quickly interrupted as he tickled your nose with his pinky. you both doubled over in hushed laughter, trying your hardest to keep it quiet so not to disturb the neighbors as it was approaching 2 am. of course, your rowdy boyfriend wouldn't help with that.

your mind drifted to the last time you sat at this hotel's bathroom sink. it was when beomgyu had you bent over it a few nights ago before showering together; the room steamy as he gave it to you from behind, watching his face contort with pleasure in the reflection of the mirror, lip between his teeth.

the memory vividly came back to you, still fresh in your mind: he leaned in close so that his warm chest was pressed to your back. "you like watching me fuck you, huh pretty?" he breathed into your ear, eyes glued to yours through the foggy bathroom mirror. you simply melted at his dirty talk; he was just too good. all you could do was nod in response, whimpers for more filling the room with an echo. he looked at you a little longer in the mirror with before subtly smiling, pressing kisses down your back, slowing his thrusts into a more gentle, steady pace.

he had noticed you drift off into your daydream, waving a hand in front of your face to awaken you from the steamy memory. heat found its way to your face, looking at him with hazy eyes.

"i was just remembering the last time we...you know," you nudged him, a shy smile on your lips. which come to think of it, the two of you had made love almost every night since you had been on your trip.

you would come back to the hotel after a fun day and already be glued to one another as you entered the room; stumbling to the bed, his fingers intertwined in your hair and yours on his belt buckle. you simply couldn't get enough of each other.

"look at these photos i found from freshman year" drew you from your thoughts completely, paying mind to his phone screen as he scrolled far into his camera roll album of you, stopping on one that had you smiling from ear to ear.

it was a mirror picture the two of you had taken one of the nights you stayed up late, doing face masks in your dorm room; the night you gave him his adorable nickname. he made a silly face at you as you were in the middle of laughter, your arms around his waist.

you cooed at how adorable he looked with his blonde head of hair and soft, round facial features; you just wanted to pinch his cheek. he took note of how much you have changed since then too, and how you would always wear his green checkered, bear patterned cardigan like it was your own. you were still the same, beautiful person in his eyes; only now you had an obsession with his black and white plaid cardigan instead.

"let's recreate it," you looked up at him, who nodded excitedly in agreement. although it seemed like a small little memory, it still held both of your hearts like it was yesterday; a very special relationship was born from those delirious nights and you couldn't be more grateful for them.

he helped you off the counter as you got into the same position you stood in three years ago, hugging his waist he slung an arm around you, pulling you just as close as he wanted to that night; his nerves no longer in the way like how they once were.

you stared at one another in the mirror, cheeks burning with how much you smiled. just as he clicked the shutter, he made the same silly face, naturally coaxing a laugh from you, just like that night.

~

the rest of tonight was filled with memories that cradled your heart like a warm blanket; ones that made you fall so deeply in love, you could feel the warm glow of your heart radiating from deep within your chest.

and just like always in the dead of night, the two of you were in the most spontaneous, absolutely delirious mood. having a hotel room together only fueled this. you felt like you were in your own little movie; like you ran away to a new city and got new identities, finally free to do whatever you wanted without a care in the world.

a 3am vending machine run downstairs for ice cream and pocky left you out of breath, tip-toe racing one another down the hall; where trying your best to keep quiet was only part of the fun.

beomgyu brought his baby blue polaroid along with him, wanting to capture every memory he could. he took all kinds of candid photos of you; a few by the colorful vending machines, scratching your head as you struggled to pick an option. a hilarious one of your hoodie stuffed to the brim with all kinds of snacks that some might fall out; to which he took some blurry ones of you sprinting down the hall to pick up the ones that did fall out.

there were some selfies of the both of you once you had returned to the hotel room, capturing a stick of pocky in between the two of you as you raced to be the first to meet the other's lips. the polaroid camera was put down when he won, the taste of strawberry on his lips as he softly bit down on your bottom lip.

he took almost fifteen polaroids, you counted, as they lay spread out on the bedside table as some were still in the process of developing. you were excited to see how they would turn out, and add them to your polaroid album together.

he suddenly tackled you from behind, pulling you onto him and inviting you to a wrestling match on the bed, entangling your bodies in every way imaginable just to pin the other person down.

at 4am you lay silently under the rose-covered sheets and flickering fairy lights, entranced with the storm; pouring rain pelting against the large glass window. the way it was pushed and pulled violently by the wind outside made you feel even more cozy, laying on beomgyu's chest as he fiddled with your earring.

when the rest of the world sleeps, you both lie awake between the sheets and beneath the stars and that's how you spent every night together. your leg slung around his tummy as you both observed the blurry city, the subtle blue glow illuminating your faces.

you had always been infatuated with the red glow of the tokyo tower against the silver skyline, and now getting to see it in person made you want to lose sleep just to watch it glow. you took note as to how many small blinking lights flashed randomly on each building, matching with the lights of small cars in the distance.

after such a long day, you couldn't help but grow blanketed with sleep every passing second, fighting the urge of your eyes practically begging to close, just to watch the skyline a bit more, just to stay in this moment with him for as long as you could. that was when suddenly, you felt beomgyu's chest vibrate as he hummed a tune.

"you're the sun to the moon" he softly began to sing, immediately forgetting your sleepiness. every time he sang, it was like a gift to you

"you're my ocean painted blue," you faintly smiled, recognizing the song by lany as it was one of your favorites.

"you, i'm nothing without you." he concluded with a kiss to your head, followed by a large yawn. turning to look up at him, his eyes were gently shut, long eyelashes resting atop his cheekbones, just how he usually looked when he had fallen asleep.

with that voice he could be a famous singer. with that face, he could be a model. with that heart of gold, he could be a thousand more things. but it's not what he could be, it's what he is. in your eyes and in your heart, he is that famous singer. he is that model, he is yours.

you left a gentle kiss on his adams apple, finding your comfy spot on his chest again before replaying his honey voice in your mind again, drifting off into a gentle slumber. you hoped you would dream of him, like you did every night.

. . .

the scent of morning coffee reminded you of sophomore year of college, when you became the well-known couple at your university's coffee shop; as it wasn't a rare occasion that you pushed yourselves out of bed, groggily shuffling over to grab some coffee together before class.

you would ruffle his once blonde hair in line as you waited, heavy head on your shoulder as he yawned, the scent of coffee filling your nose. he would sip his iced americano sleepy eyed and you, a cup of sweet iced goodness as you walked to class, fingers interlaced.

you had only slept two hours, apparently, as the sun was now rising right before your eyes outside the large glass pane windows. you thought maybe you were just dreaming because of how unreal the sight was before you; a large, red orb peeking its bright eye over the city of tokyo.

"angel? oh good you're up," beomgyu pranced over to you with a cup of iced coffee, just the way you liked it. you barely pushed yourself up, head still extremely heavy with sleep. you would probably be annoyed if anyone else had woken you up this early, but because it was your boyfriend, you gladly fought the urge to fall back asleep.

"i thought we'd watch the sunrise," he plopped down on the bed, sitting criss-cross next to you with his own coffee in hand.

you happily nodded with half-closed eyes, not yet able to get out a coherent sentence as you were still practically asleep. you slowly sipped the cold goodness of your cup, feeling a bit more awake by the minute.

the sound of "train station in 10?" awoke you immediately, more than coffee ever could in that time span. he looked over at you expectantly, your eyes wide as you sat a disheveled mess in bed, wondering how the hell you would look decent in 10 minutes.

"make it 20, i know just the perfect place to take you," he kissed your cheek, jumping up from bed and running into the bathroom where he began playing music and getting ready for your next adventure.

the memory of getting dressed was just a blur of baggy jeans and white converse as you now stood on a moving train, head resting lazily on your boyfriend's all too familiar shoulder. eyes constantly glued to the hazy blend of warm colors ahead as the sun rose little by little. all you could do was wonder where this train was taking you, since beomgyu wouldn't tell you. not even one hint.

your only clue was that this time, the train traveled towards the city instead of away from it, reminding you of the last time when you went to the suburbs for the cherry blossom picnic.

"did you match with me on purpose?" his voice brought you from your thoughts as you looked him up and down curiously, snorting when you realized your outfits were pretty much identical to a tee.

he wore a loose, white button-up; rolled at the elbows and lazily stuffed into some light-wash baggy jeans, and a pair of white converse. this morning had been such a blur that you didn't even notice what you had thrown together, or what he had either, for that matter.

"now i am convinced we actually share brain cells," you collapsed your head back onto his shoulder as both laughed. but he thought it was the cutest thing ever; that he would be walking around with his mini-me all day through the streets of tokyo. he always felt proud to walk with you, no matter what.

~

breathtaken, you stood at what felt like the top of the world as you witnessed the entire city from this altitude, mount fuji clearly visible through some clouds miles away. the sun made it's glowing appearance between slivers of buildings, which from this high up, merely resembled scattered grey blocks beneath you.

beomgyu had brought you to tokyo skytree; the tallest building in japan, and the place at the top of your bucket list since you could remember. you pressed your forehead against the glass, admiring the way the city was still blanketed in subtle mist from last night's storm, orange rays of muted sunlight peaking through clouds that rested their fluffy heads on buildings.

it seemed most of the city was still asleep, as the only small crowds of people were those headed off to work. the hour of dawn wasn't one you were usually awake to see considering you were certainly a night owl. but right now, it felt otherworldly; somber, filled with pure peace and quiet as the sun bled into the sky. like time was frozen.

beomgyu stood next to you, hands pressed to the glass on either side of his face, looking down at his feet, past the glass underneath them; lost as he stood at what felt was the edge of the world. you walked your fingers along the glass and over to his, gently resting your hand on top of his.

no matter how beautiful the view was in front of you, your eyes always found their way back to each other's; cheeks squished to the glass as you admired one another. the most beautiful sight wasn't the sunrise or the buildings or the city you were in; it was him and you. together.

there was more in store for you than you thought, as you now perused the skytree aquarium hand in hand, fully awake now as colorful fish swam all around you.

the large fish tanks stretched from floor to ceiling, carrying some of the most exotic sea life you had ever witnessed; some cute and some scary, some big and some small. a tiny fish called your attention as it reminded you of him, the way its large eyes gazed at you innocently. he laughed, comparing you to the clownfish in the next tank.

the brightest turquoise glow lit the entire place, almost convincing you that you would never see another color again but blue. but of course, he looked just as handsome blanketed under the turquoise light that you would easily get used to it; eyes glimmering with the magic of curiosity and wonder, swiveling his head all around in awe at the fish that swam everywhere imaginable.

you parted ways between a large tank at the center, finding each other again through the opposite sides of the glass. he placed his hand on the tank, inviting yours to mirror his. although you were thousands of miles from home in a foreign city where you knew absolutely no one. the glowing face on the other side of the glass, that was all you needed to feel right at home.

he motioned you over to a tank that caught his eye, reuniting with the interlacing of your fingers. "actually you remind me of a jellyfish," he pointed at the glowing creatures that floated in the water, gliding gently with one another. you pondered the idea, maybe he had good reason.

"they're graceful and elegant, just look at this one," he pointed at one that was a slightly different shade of violet than the others, a look of determination on his face as he described all of its attributes and how they reminded him of you.

"i think jellyfish are the most beautiful, that's why it reminds me of you." you looked up at him with a warm smile, his eyes still fixated on the glowing tank, then down to meet yours with an affirming nod.

"and also the clownfish because you're a clow- ouch!" you playfully slapped his arm as he rubbed it exaggeratedly, letting out a goofy laugh at his own joke. you rolled your eyes, not able to stay serious "if anyone resembles a clownfish here it's you!" you scoffed at him jokingly, laughing at his side eye.

he reclined on one of the tanks with his shoulder, observing the tank of clownfish and jellyfish. "i think if you were a jellyfish and i was a clownfish in this aquarium, i would swim up to the jellyfish tank every day just to watch the slightly violet one. i think in any universe, i would fall in love with you," he rested his head on the glass, looking down at you fondly.

you squeezed his hand gently in yours, loving every part of his imagination. he often liked to make up little (usually cheesy) stories about you and him in other universes and you loved every single one; today was the story of the clownfish and the jellyfish. what he didn't know was that you wrote them down in a secret journal, to hopefully retell them to him one day. the mere thought warmed your heart.

just as you were standing on your tip toes to press a kiss to his cheek, you noticed a familiar group of teenagers over his shoulder. it was someone familiar that caught your eye: a tall, serious looking black-haired boy with a middle part. he stood with two other girls and two other guys. it's them.

"oh my god beomgyu don't turn around," you stood in shock at the sight of the group, gaining memory of the poor boy's horrified face when you gave them the shrimp and ran away that one night at 3 am in shibuya.

"i think it's the same group we gave the shrimp to," you whispered into his ear with a cupped hand, his eyes widening in disbelief.

"the riki guy we jump-scared and then ran away?" beomgyu looked at you in half disbelief, cupping his mouth in hushed laughter. "yes him!" you whisper yelled in all seriousness, tugging at his arm in fear they would see you at any moment.

he carefully walked ahead of you, holding your hand tightly as he brought you behind one of the tall flounder tanks. putting his hands on your shoulders, he looked seriously into your eyes to devise a plan. "okay, we're going to make a run for it." to which you furrowed your eyebrows in concern.

"what?! beomgyu we can't just keep running away from them. they don't even know we're here." no response. pressing his back to the tank, he peaked his head around the glass like he was detective sherlock holmes on a top secret mission. once the coast was clear, he eyed you. "three...two," he began to count down and you readied yourself for the inevitable.

"wait!" he halted you with an arm, his whisper yell almost a little too loud. just before he could reach one, you both saw the shadow of the group's silhouettes project through the blue light of the tank. your first instinct was to duck, so you pulled him down with you.

the group now stood right around the corner from you, your heart racing at the thought of an awkward encounter. who knows how the riki guy would react at the sight of you two after what you did to him.

"let's just stealth it out," you whispered to him, checking behind the other side of the tank to find the coast was clear. "now!" you pulled beomgyu's arm but he wouldn't budge.

"how?" he asked. to which you began replying "we just tip toe quietly and not make a big dea-" but he cut you off.

"how you look so cute even when you're all serious?" he looked at you expectantly and you couldn't help but grin. even in the midst of the most serious of situations, he still made you loosen up and laugh, reminding you that nothing bad would happen when you were by his side.

you took a deep breath, realizing the situation wasn't as serious as you pictured it. so you stood up, bringing him up with you, and turned the corner; simply walking away like a normal couple, unseen by the group. you sighed in relief.

"hey!" a familiar voice of the boy called from behind you, your breath instantly catching in your throat. it could not be...

"oh. shit." you and beomgyu both looked at one another wide-eyed, both thinking the exact same thing RUN!

you completely booked it, running like your lives were on the line, butterflies fluttering through your stomach at the sheer thrill. he squeezed your hand so tight that it made your fingers white, and couldn't help but feel laughter bubble up in your chest at the whole situation.

"wait! the shrimp was good!" was all the raven-haired boy could say before the two of you disappeared around the corner, gone with a cloud of dust behind your heels.

but you didn't hear him with how focused you two were on getting out of there. people wondered what the hell was going on, probably just two unruly kids making a scene. and why are they wearing the exact same outfit? the whole thing was a comical disaster; definitely a memory you would look back and laugh at in the future.

a huffing mess, you finally stood outside the building, hands on your knees as you took a breather, "i can't believe we did that again," he laced his hand with yours as you continued walking further from the aquarium, just in case.

you shook your head, heart still pounding as you laughed it off. the damp wind felt refreshing as it blew on your face, taking it in as it tousled your hair in different directions.

"you know, you never answered my question," he looked over at you with a furrowed brow. "how?"

you remembered his prior question, not exactly knowing how to answer. you shook your head and looked down at your shoes with a soft smile.

he slung his arm around your neck and pulled you close as you walked down a docile street, your head falling to his shoulder.

"i know how. because you're the most perfect girl in the world," he kissed the side of you head as your hearts carried you wherever they desired to next.

. . .

cherry blossoms; the flower that symbolizes life and new beginnings, the beautiful, fleeting nature of existence. its pink haze decorated the ground on which you stood, locking eyes with the familiar, beautiful doe gaze you so loved.

his mouth fell open, absolutely speechless; feeling his heart strum against his chest at the sight of you walk along the path of flowers. you were so unbelievably beautiful to him, the way the setting sun bathed you in a golden glow as you walked; like an angel descended from heaven in his eyes. the air had escaped his lungs at the sight of you in your flowy dress, white as snow.

you felt your heart drum against your chest as you continued your gait to the arbour where he awaited; cherry blossom branches curved into a heart archway behind him. vigilant eyes observed as you carefully walked, but the only pair that ever mattered were his.

the pink and white flower glimmered from the dainty ring you watched the love of your life slide onto your left ring finger. a large grin decorating your lips as you faced one another, hand in hand. he stood there; jaw-droppingly handsome in an all-black suit, hair hugging the nape of his neck, grown out the longest it'd ever been.

the sun and the moon were both visible in the cloud-feathered sky, calling your attention just for a moment. the most beautiful day you had ever lived to see; everything about it radiated absolute heaven.

you may now kiss the bride were the six words that made you tear up more than you thought they would, your glittering eyes becoming visible under your veil as he lifted it up, revealing utmost beauty on both ends.

he held your jaw with gentle fingers, searching your eyes with his; tender-eyed, beautifully vulnerable. a gaze you thought was a portal to outer space, catching a glimpse of your future in an eternity of stars and galaxies. the countless kisses and embraces you would share for a life time.

a single blossom fluttered from the lush, swaying trees above and landed soft as a butterfly on his nose, drawing a sweet smile to your lips. a warm memory bloomed in your chest, remembering the soft petals between your finger as you picked it off of his nose several years ago at this exact spot.

you neared your faces in what felt like slow motion, slowly locking lips with the familiar plush comfort of home. he kissed you strong and deep, able to feel the bright energy radiating from him as he deepened his lips on yours. at the moment you closed your eyes, you heard the claps and cheers of the crowd.

an overwhelming rush of happiness welled in your eyes, heart pounding with the sparkle of elation, you just wanted to jump for joy. if you weren't in a public setting, you would probably break down crying because of how happy you were.

the two of you walked down the isle hand in hand, wearing the brightest smiles one could wear as cheers and kind eyes from familiar faces greeted you. four of beomgyu's college friends waved at you from their seats, snapping tons of pictures as if you were two celebrities walking the red carpet.

you caught the gaze of beomgyu's mom, her kind eyes as she happily nodded towards you, mouthing the words beautiful; to which you were beyond flattered and returned a rosy smile.

it was a small, outdoor venue, only joined by close friends and immediate family as the two of you decided to return to japan for your wedding. yoyogi park; the very same place you had your cherry blossom picnic several years ago when you vacationed here.

no matter how many years had passed since then, tokyo had always called your hearts back. the happiness and love you shared here was something so special, memories like no other place you had visited. it only felt right to return and live it once more. or perhaps, forevermore.

"never thought miss straight a's would end up marrying the class clown," one of beomgyu's college friends yeonjun came over once food and drinks were served at the reception, flashing you a warm smile before jokingly punching beomgyu on the shoulder.

"congratulations man," they shared a laugh and hugged, their conversation muted about the music as you observed beomgyu's gestures; he was beyond elated, eyes animated and sparkling as he spoke, face bright and shining with laughter with his head thrown back. your heart jolted; everything about his smile, his laugh, his everything. you couldn't help but fall in love all over again; watching him from a distance like he was a man you could only dream of being with, let alone marrying.

it really felt surreal; that you were able call your boyfriend your fiancé, and now your husband. it would take some getting used to, of course, since you couldn't help but get red in the face every time you even thought of him as your husband.

"congratulations mrs. choi," the black-haired man bowed to you after he had finished talking to beomgyu, and you returned the bow with a grateful smile, being sure to thank him for coming.

mrs. choi

you felt you could power a city with the pure jubilation that radiated in your heart at the sound of those words. this is going to take some getting used to.

~

fairy lights sparkled in the soft wind, a thin gust fluttering the polaroids pinned with tiny clothespins to the string lights that hung above the quaint, wooden dance floor.

it was your idea to hang some of your polaroids up at your wedding; strung from fairy lights on cherry trees around the venue. out of the hundreds you'd taken over the years, you selected your mutually favorite ones. he looked up at them, giggling every five seconds as a new one caught his eye. he loved it.

"look at that one!" he pointed up at the polaroids as he held you in your arms while slowly swaying to the music of the live band, others dancing around you.

he pointed to the polaroid you took of him standing in his plaid pajamas pants in line at your university's coffee shop, which was hung next to one of him standing at the vending machine at your old hotel, wearing the same pants. and next to that one a selfie of the two of you, the tokyo tower glowing red and white in the background. you could look at old pictures with him forever, just dawning over all the great memories.

"you're so thoughtful. i love this," he lowered his forehead to yours, his eyes wrinkling into a warm smile. "i love you," you responded, only widening his smile. his eyes lingered on yours a bit longer before darting over to the band and then to yours again, squeezing your hand.

"i have a present for you," he muttered after a few seconds of silence, the live band now silent. you noticed only a few notes of the guitar playing repeatedly, a new melody you have yet to hear in an existing song.

"this is a song called nap of a star, i wrote it for you," he smiled, gentle fingers coming up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. recalling his faint hum in the back of your mind from that rainy night. his promise.

and so he began.

I can see even if you're not by my side I feel you even if you don't say a word..

he sang just loud enough for only you to hear, the rest of the guests kindly observing your slow dance from afar, some teary-eyed.

the guitar melody sounded beautiful, one he crafted the late nights he stayed up in the little at-home studio he had built in your apartment together. nights you would often sit across from him, watching candlelight flicker from the reflection of his guitar as he lulled you with the depths of his voice.

I want to be your nap so I can dream with you no matter when.. As if nothing had happened..

beomgyu had gained more confidence with singing over the years, gaining enough to sing in a public space, even if no one could really hear him. all that mattered was that you did. you swayed with him as he held your waist, pressed flush against one another, his thumbs soft over the lace of your dress.

On a sunset evening, even in the night when the sky is dark.. My heart is full of you.

the full moon gleamed overhead as he sang to you, casting your swaying shadows across the wooden platform in pale light. you couldn't once tear your gaze from his eyes. both slighly teary-eyed as he sang everything he felt for you, putting it all into a song you never wanted to end. you just wanted to stay here forever.

all you yearned to see were the depths of his eyes where you found the promise of eternity. his lips where you found the promise of pure joy and lifelong kisses. his hands where you found never-ending warmth and comfort. that was all you wanted. all you needed, endlessly. you couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life with him.

~

you could hardly see beomgyu over the tall, paper lantern that flickered between the two of you. that was, until he peeked over its brim, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

"ready?" you asked him through a small giggle. only your nose and eyes visible over the lantern's bright glow. he tickled your fingers with the gentle brush of his.

"three...two..." you counted down, looking over at him in anticipation as you each held onto an end, watching the flame dance in his dark eyes.

at "one," you released the lantern together, watching it float weightlessly up into the night sky, carrying the promises and wishes you held in your hearts; ones of lifelong unity and happiness, which you knew were wishes that had already come true long ago.

other guests released their lanterns into the dark sky as well, watching them slowly accumulate in the sky like fireflies. beomgyu's four friends released theirs together as you heard their excited laughs echo behind you. you smiled, content that everyone was having a good time.

he held you, wrapping both of his arms around your waist as you watched your lantern become smaller and smaller in the speckled sky. looking up at the moon reminded him that this night would be completely dark without it. similar to how his life wouldn't be as bright without you in it. you and the moon; always there to brighten the darkness. 

your head fell to his shoulder, simply breathing with him. you thought about your future together; about what it would be like to maybe move here one day. maybe open up a coffee shop or a cute little library and after many years, grow to be the cutest elderly couple in town. always by his side.

you looked up at him from his warm shoulder, his eyes reflecting the sky, you almost couldn't tell the difference between the stars in the night sky and the stars in his eyes. 

no one sees his beauty quite like you do. the way his brown eyes catch the sun rays at sunset and turn gold at dusk, but also reflect the night sky like a mirror. his soft touch; the way his fingers gently graze upon your skin like a feather. the way his cheeks pull upward when there's an oncoming smile, revealing rays from his toothy grin. his thick, soft voice; the way it sings you to sleep or whispers that he loves you.

he looked down at you, the way your hair- like silk as it fell weightlessly over your ear, waiting to be tucked back into place by his fingers. like his fingers were made for you, made for that strand of hair. and they are. and the strand of your hair, falling perfectly, was made for him as well.

you were made for him. and he was made for you.

and so you watched the last bit of the lantern, like a speck now in the sky, disappear into oblivion. you both wondered where it went, deep in conversation about the possibilities. did it just disintegrate or will it survive beyond space? where there are billions of stars with dozens of planets. where there are a trillion comets, supernova explosions and new planets being formed. where there might be other life, but you're not sure. but there is one thing you both know for sure. 

there is nothing in the universe

like you.

the end:)

~

a/n: alas, it's here! if you are reading this, thank you so so much for being patient with me, and with this sequel. this past year has been a rollercoaster, but the whole time i had this fic in mind and always wanted to finish it <3 thank you for all the love on tokyo and i really hope you enjoyed this one! i love you all, please know you are amazing, worth it, and so loved :)

more fics coming soon!! <3

©beomie3

tags: @enhasengene @soobsfairy444 @xiaoting999 @londonchuu @rpkth @dainsleif-when-playable @tatanbin @croissant-san @younglingslayer69 @readingmochi @bangtanattic

[harrywavycurly]

Sarahhhh let’s hear Harry’s 2am call to Niall because he got to hold her hand!!!🫨

Hiii babes!! I love that the 2am calls to Niall are now just a thing for Harry 😂 enjoy!💖

-find all things Southern Comfort here✨

“What now Harry? Did she call you a twat and let you hold her car keys?” “Her hand…she let me hold her hand Niall…” “oh shit…why?” “What do you mean why? Why wouldn’t she-” “oh fuck off mate from what you’ve told me…she doesn’t just let you hold her hand so what did you do to earn that?” “I uh…ruined some brownies…” “how’d the hell did you manage that?” “Well apparently I keep my uhm…salt and sugar…in the same looking containers and-” “you gave her salty brownies? The man who tells everyone who will listen that he used to be a bloody baker gave the woman he’s obsessed with…salty fucking brownies?” “You’re such a wanker…why do I even call you about these things?” “I have no clue…” “oh god she made…she made me a brownie…Niall I swear I’ve never…had anything so good in my life.” “Are you about to cry? Why do you sound so…upset over a brownie?” “You’ll get it once you try one…she’s the real thing mate…she knows what the hell she’s doing…” “in the kitchen or…with you?” “Both?…I don’t know? I think….I think she likes me?” “I mean she baked for you…and trusts you with her drink so…that’s gotta mean something.” “Oh and I told her about the band…she said we are precious.” “Damn straight we are…did she know us?” “Not really but she’s familiar with us…I think you’ll like her.” “She keeps you stressed so I already love her.” “Fuck off…I want…I want to ask her on a date…but I’m afraid she’ll say no.” “I mean she might? But…maybe hang out some more…has she let you pick her up from her house yet?” “Not yet…she also isn’t ready to come to mine yet…” “valid…so just hang out a few more times before asking her out?” “I just don’t want someone else to come along and…take her from me.” “Jesus you’re so done for…but I get it…just hang out more and then when she lets you pick her up from her house then that’s when you know…it might be time to ask her on a date.” “That’s good…that’s a good plan!” “No shit it is…I’m the one who thought of it…now I’m going back to bed…this was a nice chat H..but let’s pick a new time for them yeah?” “Oh…yeah sorry…you know how I get when I’m excited about something…can’t sleep.” “I know…now fuck off and go to bed yeah?”

[blingblong55]

The Heart Nebula- Simon "Ghost" Riley

GN!Reader, Angst, established relationship, Civilian! Reader

A/N: listen to this song You Could Start a Cult-Niall Horan, the last part kills me, every damn time

Simon was never the easiest of men to tame. Not because of his playboy antics, but because of his issues with trust and overall him understanding someone loved him. It took so much time to even get him to comprehend that what you felt for him was real. He has been your partner for approximately 6 years, and it's safe to say you two have learned a lot in those six years. By year one he started to open up to you about what he does for a living. He had mentioned he was a soldier, just not who he really is.

By year two, he told you about his family, something that took nearly six months to tell the full story. Then, he opened up about his friends, like a close friend of his by the name of Johnny, and a man name Kyle. Who he saw as a younger sibling. By year 3 and 4, he finally told you he loved you, that he has loved you, just that he couldn't find a clear way to say it.

Which by the way frustrated him, you were giving so much, always telling him you loved him, which you always meant of course. It was also the year you two moved in together. By year 5 he introduced you to the men he works with, some couldn't believe he actually was telling the truth this entire time. Not that he couldn't date as someone as charming, beautiful and kind as you, but because they swore he would end up being an old, lonely grumpy man once he retires.

By year six, he was as open as could be, always making jokes about his past and being the biggest baby when he got sick. He bumped his arm somewhere at base? oh its nothing, didn't even hurt one bit.

He bumped his arm at home? He goes to you, asking you to kiss his arm because he swears it hurts, although it literally doesn't. One time he got sick, it was just a few coughs and some sniffles, and there he lays in bed, cuddling you and always being babied by you.

One time you caught him faking being sick. But, because you knew this was his best way to get more cuddles than usual, you let it pass.

It was a super long journey that is for sure. From being so odd, quiet, grumpy and cold to you in the beginning to running to you asking for more kisses, back rubs, telling you how much he loved you, crying because he is laughing to much.

You saved his life without knowing it was even at risk. Nobody understood how strong your relationship was, not man or woman could ever break you two apart. At first you had to admit you swore he was cheating on you, the discreet calls at night, the no show ups at dates, because he was called to base, and the walls he put up to protect himself.

But, when you are young they assume you know nothing. Now, if they ask you, you know more than you let on. You know how he likes his tea, how he takes his coffee and when, like at what time or when would be the exact time he would be craving one. You went from barely holding hands to kissing under starry nights and dancing under street posts.

Yes, at some point you had your doubts, but, he is your man. Always has said it himself. There were nights when you thought for sure this was just him wasting time. But, you go home to him, his boots beneath your shared bed.

And now, here you were, sitting on a rock as you stare at the ocean. Simon broke up with you, you weren't sure why, but he did. It was for sure an all of the sudden situation. The moon was your only light source, you sobbed earlier, now you stare at the ocean, letting the breeze pass by as you feel numb.

One part of you for sure died tonight.

There was of course a reason he ended things to soon. 2290 days of loving you and he just ended it? So easily?

It was late May, when Simon was deployed for a classified mission. It was hell for sure, but it's nothing he hasn't seen before. While he apprehended the main target, the man told him something that made Ghosts blood run cold.

"R/n, won't get to see august."

And after a few weeks of being away, he was home. He told you things he knew weren't true.

"You are just so clingy, always asking for my time! I can't just be with friends because all you do is call me to come home, I need my time back!"

But that was a lie, you both. knew it. It was just a one time thing when you seriously needed someone around, and fuck, he would drop everything to just come home and cuddle you. He didn't even like going out, he always wanted to stay home, not leave, because in fact, he was the clingy one. Not you.

Right now, he is regretting that decision, he is currently calling out for you. Driving around town, your favourite places, the places you once told him about. He was desperate to say the least. All he wanted was to love someone without repercussions. The love of his life was threaten, not to your face, but his.

Finally he found you, sitting on that rock, looking at the ocean and stars. He approached you, he heard your small sniffles.

"R/n, I'm sorry, i...I didn't mean to say those things...I didn't even mean to break up with you."

All you did was pat a spot next to you, not once looking back at him. Which he took. He looked at you in concern. You always spoke your mind, so why keep quiet now?

"Love-"

You handed him a necklace, Merkaba diamond necklace, you wanted to show him something a while ago, but the last piece of the puzzle arrived this morning. "whats this, love?" "Three years ago, you told me that when you were a kid, you had a poster of the planets and stars. Said it was your thing. I told you it was also my thing, which we have bonded time and time from."

He looked at you, letting you continue on.

"Well, a while ago, i adopted a star, an actual star, and I even got a telescope...I was waiting on the certificate to arrive, and well...it arrived this morning." He was devastated, part of him had hope, but the other part, knew he had ruined something so beautiful and special to both of you.

"I adopted a star in the Heart Nebula,"

"and where is that located in the sky, love?"

"its in the Perseus Arm of the Galaxy in the Cassiopeia constellation."

"I...you really did that?"

You nod and bring your legs to your chest, it was the only comfort you could receive.

This was it. This topped every little touch and word you ever told him. You had told him many moons ago about this, that this could be the last puzzle in your love story, because funny enough, he wanted to do the same. Wanted to come to this very spot, play "Sleepwalk" by Santo and Johnny and propose to you. Then, he wanted to show you that he bought a star in the Heart Nebula. But you clearly beat him to it.

He swore this was the day, almost every thing in this moment felt like a movie scene, except, you two, he should be holding you in his arms, whispering sweet nothings as you cry because he had finally proposed. Instead, you both sit there, the both missing a piece.

pt2

A/N: I had a dream this happened to me and since I cried, figured you should relive what I went through...bye now!

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

[thefreakandthehair]

@eddiemonth prompt, oct 6th: Crush | You Could Start A Cult - Niall Horan | Sincere a/n: steddie, pining, post-s4. un-betaed because I’m challenging myself to write these in under an hour. read on ao3 | link to masterpost on ao3

A crush is called a crush for a reason, and Eddie Munson is learning this lesson the hard way. 

The very hard way. 

The Jesus Christ, all he did was laugh at my stupid joke and I’m going to collapse in on myself like a dying star kind of way. 

It’s been nearly a year of this and Eddie feels like he’s being squashed beneath the weight of the giant boulder that is his crush on Steve Harrington. A solid year of his hopeless, pointless, wonderful crush on Steve Harrington. 

Everyone knows– well, everyone above the age of 16 has figured it out at least. Eddie isn’t exactly known for his subtlety, after all. 

Jeff, Gareth, and Freak had their reservations at the start after years of being persecuted by the same genre of person Steve had been in high school but once Eddie spun them the tale of how Steve carried out from beneath the rubble of a collapsed building, they’d come around. Jeff took the longest, finally acquiescing  after properly meeting Steve.

You were always into jocks, dude, c’mon. Sounds like this one might have some redeemable qualities at least. 

He couldn’t quite tell them the actual truth, but it’s truth-adjacent and does the job. It paints Steve as the hero Eddie knows him to be, whether Steve wants to acknowledge the title or not. 

Robin knew before they’d even gone back into the Upside Down, before Eddie nearly died in Dustin’s arms and then again, in Steve’s. 

I was there when you called him Big Boy, Munson. You’re not subtle. He’s just oblivious. 

Nancy figured it out when Eddie was in the hospital, still a little loopy from painkillers and who knows what else. 

You were on another planet and couldn’t stop talking about his chest hair, Eddie. 

Argyle knew on sight the first time he saw Eddie with Steve. It was a little spooky, actually, how on the nose he was about two people he barely knew but on the nose, he was. 

You’re the only one callin’ him Stevie, brochacho. And he’s the only one calling you Ed so… take that for what it’s worth. 

Jonathan knew because Argyle knew and Jonathan and Argyle seem to have something there, too, but that’s none of Eddie’s business. All of the unrequited love bandwidth he has is tied up in Steve, and his smile, and his way with the kids, and his cologne– 

“You got something on your face.” 

Robin nudges him in the side behind the kitchen counter where he’s been leaning, watching helplessly through the kitchen window as Steve grills another round of burgers going for their We Lived And Can’t Tell The Tale Because We All Signed NDAs party starting soon. 

Eddie wipes his face frantically, hoping he didn’t have ketchup or something on his cheek from Steve’s trial run of the burgers. He pulls his hand back to find nothing besides Robin grinning, bemused and pitying all the same when it clicks.

“I’m not actually drooling. Just… metaphorically. God, let me cling to some shred of dignity here.” 

Steve flips another burger, this one landing square right-side-up. Eddie groans, Robin rolls her eyes, and he laments. 

“What the fuck is wrong with me that that’s so hot? He’s not doing anything special! He’s just existing in those too-tight jeans and plain tee shirt and I’m ready to lay waste to the evils of the world to get to him. And they say I’m the cult leader? I’d follow this asshole into the bowels of Hell.” Eddie sighs and drops his head back to stare at the ceiling.

It’s offensive, honestly, the popcorn ceiling and the way it mocks him. 

“I mean, you kinda already did.” Robin shrugs and bumps her shoulder into his, somehow softer than her initial nudge. “And look, it’s not my business, but I think you might be surprised if you talked to him. He’s not the same he was when he said all that shit to Jonathan, y’know.” 

Eddie whips to the side, too quickly as his head spins for a brief moment. He searches her eyes for hints or a glimmer of hope. Something. Anything. 

“What do you know, Buckley?” It’s less a question and more a statement. 

“I don’t know a damn thing, other than a conversation might do you both some good. But look,” Robin sighs and hops up to sit on the island next to Eddie as he turns his attention back to Steve manning the grill. He’s trying not to stare at the way Steve twirls the spatula… and failing, of course. How are his hands so big? 

“Hello? Munson, Earth to heart-eyes over there. This is information you might really want to listen to.” Robin waves a hand in front of his face and he jolts out of his thoughts. It’s for the best– the second he gets lost in Steve’s hands, it’s all over for him. 

“Sorry, sorry, I’m listening.” Eddie responds, vaguely reminded of his many years in school. 

“I was saying, Steve’s a good guy. The best guy, really. And I know he’s acted fine with being single the last year or so, but he’s lonely behind that facade. So if this is just like, a crush that’s gonna pass, keep it to yourself. But if you really like him, if you wanna like, be with him, then yeah. I think you might want to talk to him.” 

Eddie considers his feelings for a long moment, staring back out the window. This time, he watches Steve at the grill and sees so much more than a guy in too-tight jeans and a plain tee shirt flipping burgers. He sees jumping into the lake, rushing through the Upside Down, finding a quiet moment in the chaos traipsing through the Upside Down’s version of the woods. He sees what little he remembers of bleeding out and being carried by Steve through the portal, of waking up in the hospital, handcuffed to the bed and Steve sitting in the corner with Wayne. He sees every fleeting moment, every soft touch, every nickname and split joint and pizza with half pepperoni and half bacon. 

He looks out the window at Steve and sees his life. 

Maybe the weight of his crush has only felt so heavy in the way that holding your arms out for too long begins to feel heavy.  Maybe the forced, sustained tension would be relieved if he just let himself relax. 

“I’m with him already, for better or worse.”

Robin hums in acknowledgement before breaking into laughter as they both watch Steve transfer the burgers to a plate, only to accidentally knock the dish off the side of the grill. He must hear their laughter because his eyes shoot directly to the window and he points the spatula at them, free hand on his hip. “It’s not fucking funny, now I have to go to the store!” 

“It’ll probably be for the worse.” Robin looks at him and raises an eyebrow. 

Eddie just laughs and shakes his head, tendrils of hair falling into his face that he pulls further across his mouth. 

“Worth it.”

[urrockstar-xe]

baby blanket - j.m x fem!reader

posted may 10th, 2023 10:07 am

this is completely based on my actual real life baby blankets, enjoy. also it looks like they're looking directly at me in this gif and that scares me. - xx

masterlist

wordcount: 0.6k

s/o to pals for helping with the song choice :))

You felt the end of your bed dip as JJ flopped down onto it, immediately going to grab the small baby pink blanket away from you. You smiled, watching him mindlessly run the silky ends through his fingers over and over while he argued over something pointless with Kie. 

John B cut the arguing short when he noticed the blanket on JJ’s chest. “What is that?” 

Before you could answer his question, Sarah did it for you, “it’s one of her baby blankets,” her knowledge of this didn’t come as a surprise to any of you as she had spent a lot of time in your room over the last year. “No way that’s your baby blanket,” Pope said, standing from his spot at your desk and nearly snatching it away from jj, “Hey!” Pope ignored jj, examining the 16+ year old blanket. 

“Mine is in shreds, how the hell does yours look like this?” you shrugged in response, pulling another baby blanket off of one of your pillows, it looked the exact same as the pink one, just white. 

“What the fuck there's two?” Jj sat up as if he had just found out he got accepted into fucking Hogwarts. You laughed. “You never noticed it on my pillow? The one you are always sleeping on?” 

Jj took it from you, “well that would explain why it's so much softer than the other pillows.” 

“Oh she has two so you cheated the system!” Kie said in a teasing tone, a smile sitting on her lips. 

“Nuh-uh! I will not sit for these false allegations!” you stood up from your bed taking the pink blanket away from Pope, “My favorite was always the pink one, I honestly didn’t even know I had the white one ‘til I was like 9.” 

“How is it still in perfect condition then huh?” John B smirked at you, a sign of him simply giving you shit. “Guess I'm just like, better than all of you.” you shrugged, earning a laugh from the girls and scoffs and “pft”s from the boys. “And it’s not in perfect condition, the edges are a little frayed, but genuinely I have no idea how it’s still in such good condition,” 

Cleo smiled before speaking, “The baby blanket gods must love you,” 

You laughed sitting back down in your spot, allowing jj to use your lap as his very own pillow, still holding onto the white baby blanket. 

“I never had a baby blanket,” he said, 

“Really?” Sarah asked, astonished at this noise, even jb had one at some point.

It didn’t shock you that JJ never had one, knowing who raised him. “You can have that one,” your words shocked him, his reaction earning laughs and giggles from every one of your friends. “Really? You mean that?” his eyes were wide and his mouth was just slightly agape. 

“Course, j. I’d offer my pink one but that one’s kinda my favorite,” you smiled, watching as he settled back into place and just admired the small blanket. 

“It also says ‘thank heaven for little girls’ on it and it’d be a little weird for you to own something that says that” Pope pointed out, making his way back to your desk chair. 

“It’s a little weird for anyone to own something that says that,” John B responded, causing an incredibly stupid argument to break out between your friend group, but all you could focus on was how soft jj got at such a small thing, how he was already playing with the ends the way he did your fingers whenever you’d hold hands. 

JJ looked up at you once more, “You’re really lettin’ me keep this, baby?” you just nodded in response, playing with his hair. JJ smiled, looking back at the blanket.

“Thank you,”

[blouisparadise]

Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of March. We really hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!

1) Bloodsucker | Not Rated | 1,738 words

Harry and Louis’ passionate night takes a violent turn.

2) Hell Is A Teenage Boy | Explicit | 1,970 words

In the quiet suburbs of Roswell, the Tomlinson family has new neighbors: Harry and Alice Styles, a lovely and happy couple. Where Louis, a hopeless rebel fell for the man in the suit. Of course, he can't forget his pretty model wife holding his arm. Simple details.

3) Sweet But Psycho Only For You | Mature | 2,728 words

Finding your forever person is something that many dream to do. For some it takes longer than others and the trials it takes to get to that person can be overwhelming. For Harry it was simple. He didn’t have to relive a Shakespearean play or over exaggerated drama to find his love. He met his person at a corner store at 3am yelling at a clerk over cereal and instantly fell in love. It was all so simple. They dated, fought, fucked, moved in together. Oh, so simple. Until it wasn’t.

4) Blue Yarn | Explicit | 2,875 words

Louis was on his hands and knees on their bed, in nothing but the blue jumper Harry had knitted him, arching his back beautifully, fucking himself on… And Harry had to take one step closer before he realized that, outside of Louis’ bum, the end of his thickest knitting needle was poking out. Holy fucking shit. Louis was fucking himself on Harry's knitting needle.

5) To Make a Home Where There Is None | Mature | 3,907 words

Harry shows up and doesn't want to leave. Louis doesn't mind too much.

6) Your Hand In My Hand, So Still And Discreet | Explicit | 4,513 words

“It was about how cold he was under me. How still. It was knowing that even if he had died, even if he was already dead, he would still be mine.” Louis thought he knew each one of his boyfriend’s stories, secrets, and kinks. Turns out Harry was keeping a crucial one hidden away.

7) Haze On The Horizon | Explicit | 6,397 words

“— Louis?” He couldn’t speak. He should hang up. He should’ve never called. His breaths were building into a staccato. “…baby? Are you doing alright? Talk to me, please.” Harry sounded so concerned, and it was quickly weakening his defences. No. No, he wouldn’t. No- “Omega,” Harry called, voice low and just shy of his alpha voice, even through the phone, and Louis just… Louis broke. “I miss you! I-” he cried out, an agonising crack in his voice, a loud sob being ripped from him. “— I need you!” Louis sniffled harshly, slumping, before admitting, quieter, “I need you.” Louis finds himself unexpectedly going into soft heat. Which would’ve been fine, except he is hundreds of miles away from his alpha, Harry, and he needs him. They make it work.

8) Pour Some Sugar (Wax) On Me | Explicit | 11,213 words

Note: This fic has mentions of BH.

“Okay, so I just need you to hug your legs to your chest for me, and we can get started.” Swallowing past the lump that has lodged in his throat, Louis reaches down and grabs his shins, hugging his legs up to his chest, effectively putting his bare asshole, taint, and balls on display.

9) The Room Thief | Not Rated | 12,321 words

Louis: Can I come over? Need your help. Niall: Did someone die? I don’t need to help you bury a body do I? Wait, did you behead one of your alpha flatmates? I hope it was the one that smells like cherries. That is such a weird scent for an alpha. It’s disturbing. And I can’t even smell it. Louis: I’ve just been kicked out. Can I crash on your couch? Niall: Zayn’s in class. I’m here so get over here NOW. Louis: Thanks mate. Gonna pack a few things and will head over. Be there in about a half hour.

10) I Dig Your Cinema | Explicit | 12,930 words

It wasn’t that Louis didn’t want to see Harry’s latest film; it was a tragically pathetic fact that Louis had watched every single show and film, every interview, every red carpet that Harry had done since his ex-boyfriend had decided to leave Uni in the second year and pursue an acting career. It's just that he wanted to watch it on his own, in his flat, with a soft blanket, beer, ice cream, and a large box of tissues.

11) I'll Look After You | Mature | 15,471 words

I mean, when Harry inherited his late uncle's hybrid, he didn't necessarily expect this... Where Louis is a nice hybrid cat who's never lived with anyone but an old man, and who discovers the freedom of living with Harry...

12) I Don’t Want You | Mature | 35,941 words

Louis never wanted to be an omega. He didn’t want to end up like his mother- a submissive omega that married his father in an arranged marriage, and is now living her life as a baby making machine, and a trophy wife who can never voice her opinion- Louis was never the quiet type, he always said exactly what he thought. But life has a funny way of fucking him over and Louis finds himself forced into an arranged marriage with the one and only Harry styles.

13) Hiding Green Smiles | Explicit | 45,227 words

Louis’ heart is racing in his chest. The idea of temporary bonding—letting Harry bite down right on that spot without it being a real bond—makes his mouth go dry. He didn’t even know something like this existed! His mind fills with all the possibilities and questions. What’s it going to feel like? How will it affect his orgasms? How will it affect Harry’s knot? What parts of a bond does it simulate? When Louis goes with Liam to a hidden sex shop, he discovers a new sex toy, the BiteMat, and he can't believe his luck. He loves being bitten, has a biting kink, even, and now he can be bitten over his bonding spot without the fear of anything permanent. He hastily buys it to try with Harry, his friend and roommate, and his regular heat/rut partner for the last eighteen months. They've been friends-with-benefits outside heat or rut for eight months now, and Louis' been desperately in love with Harry for at least five of those months.

14) A Match Into Water | Not Rated | 68,756 words

“So, who’s the guy?” Louis startled at the question, immediately locking his phone and dropping it onto the beanbag cushion below him. This was a topic he desperately wanted to avoid with his friends, but it was bound to happen sooner or later. That didn’t mean he would try to avoid it though. “What guy?” He rushed out, looking at Liza with a dumbfounded expression, trying his best to avoid Niall and Jeremy clearly sharing a knowing look. “You’ve been on your phone nonstop, you’re never on your phone while working. Not to mention, you’re smiling at your phone like a nutter,” Niall pipes up, grinning at him facetiously.

15) I Would Rather Go Blind | Mature | 79,150 words

"What are you doing here, Harry?" Louis asked with confidence, his gaze briefly flickering to Harry's plump lips, a momentary hint of desire flickering in his eyes. "I…" Harry's voice caught in his throat as Louis' gaze travelled downward, coming to rest on his chest. Without hesitation, Louis raised his hands from the desk, bringing them to Harry's chest, helping him button the one he had missed. When he attempted to pull away, Harry's hand shot out and gripped at his wrist. "You're shaking," Louis observed, his eyes shifting to their joined hands before returning to meet Harry's gaze, unwavering. "It's…" Harry cleared his throat. "It's you. You make me… I don't know what is happening to me." "What do you feel?" he whispered, his voice barely audible. "It's… warm," he began, shyly bringing Louis' hand against the centre of his chest over his shirt. "Here." His hand slid down to his stomach, their eyes locked in a powerful gaze. "And here." They remained silent for a moment, both captivated by the intensity of their connection. "Every time you're near me."

16) As Sweet As You Are | Mature | 87,394 words

Note: This fic was deleted and has now been reuploaded.

"Do you not have something more expensive?" The alpha gives him a weird look, resting his hands on the table. "Definitely not something the cost of that shade of blue that are your eyes," he responds effortlessly. "Why is a male omega on his own out in the middle of the woods at this time of night?" Harry speaks, staring intensely at the prince, smirk lingering on his face. "Your kind is rather rare. You should be more careful. There are a lot of rogue alphas around that won't blink until they've knotted and bred you up." The blue eyed omega swallows, shuffling in his seat awkwardly and looking anywhere but the alpha before him. "I ran away from home," Louis admits, occupying himself by taking a sip of the lager instead of thinking about the fact that the alpha hasn't yet taken his eyes off him. "My parents want me to marry someone I do not want to marry, so I ran."

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[0oolookitsme]

No More Kisses

Type- One-Shoty Blurb!

Verse- Footballer!Harry x Art Director!Y/n

Word Count- 1k

Warnings- Just a few curse words here and there, and a slight hint of smut :)

A/n- Some fratrry! Hope you enjoy <3

The game's season was to begin in one month, and Harry hasn't never felt more prepared. He's ready to tackle teams and get this over with.

All of this practise has been draining him down and the fact that the college literally wouldn't give them any breaks meant that it was practise, classes, practise and finally sleep. Whether he drank water or ate his meals between the gaps didn't matter as long as he was on the top.

Even Y/n hadn't been having the time to breath, in the midst of all this mid semester chaos – let alone call and check up on him and show up during his evening practices so that they can go back to the frat house together.

He missed her, terribly.

They would talk, but only in the mornings and the nights. And even then they didn't get to have a proper conversation because they were just so tired all the time, or busy. Early mornings and late nights had always been their thing, but to not spend that extra time with each other was something new.

Hell even not spending their usual time together was new; strange.

Sitting together on the floor of one of their rooms -- usually Harry's considering Y/n's room floor was always covered in miscellaneous things, and these days even her bed was occupied by half-finished or just-started projects -- they would just swing their arms or legs over the other one and work on their laptops.

As Harry finally packs up to go back to the house, late again, he feels his phone begin to buzz in his pocket. It was Y/n he saw and immediately he was swiping his thumb across the screen to answer the call.

"Hello," he says without much exaggeration, but he knows that she knows he has a huge smile on his face as he looks at the ground, one hand on his hip as he waits for her to reply.

"Whatever happened to love or darling?"

Stifling a laugh, he swung his bag over his shoulders before giving her the greeting she wanted. "Hello my sweet, sweet darling," he greeted, weighing down on the pet name.

"Yeah fuck you too," she retorted, laughing on the other hand. "I just called to ask if I could use a very small, hear me out! – a very small space on your room's floor to lay down a project?" She sheepishly trailed off.

Y/n knew she didn't need to ask him that, but it was a topic Harry always teased her about, saying 'does being an Art Director of your club mean you can't even step in your own room, hm?' and she thought it was about time that he worried about it too.

"Y/n... No. You cannot take over my room now!"

"Pretty please, H! You know what? I'll let you take a candle of mine. How about that?" She offered, feeling smug like a winner.

Both of them knew that it was an instant offer to get Harry to do anything, just give him any one of Y/n's candles. Still he made a show of grumbling and finally muttered a 'fine'.

"Thank you! May God bless you my dear," She cackled before hanging up on him, leaving him shaking his head as he slipped his phone back in his pocket.

The drive back to the frat house was filled with Niall chattering Harry's ear off as if he hadn't been getting smacked in the face while goal-keeping this whole day.

Turning off the engine, Harry muttered something about Niall influencing Y/n under his breath when Niall jumped out of the car, made the same old-creepy-man joke and called him a 'dear'.

When Harry finally entered his room, he wasn't surprised to see Y/n sprawled on his floor but he was definitely shocked to see a candle lit on his desk.

"Can't believe you stuck to your words!" He said while deeply breathing in the scent of the candle -- it gave vanilla with a hint of the smell of soil after it had just rained, and Harry knew he was never letting her take that candle back.

"Well, I can be good sometimes," Y/n shrugged without looking up from the sheet she was working on.

"That really is a shocker coming from you, grump," Harry said, his voice getting closer to Y/n with each step he took and then his hands slipped under her armpits, pulling her up. "And, I like you bad," he stated, glancing at her lips.

Y/n supported herself by her legs despite whining at him to put her down. "First of all, you smell horrendous, second of all, what the hell was that for? And third of all, that was not hot." She ranted, a little serious but her look of suspicion made him laugh.

"Missed your mouthy ass," he mumbled before crashing his lips right onto hers, pushing her back while she shrieked, warning him not to step on that sheet.

Her hands slipped past his shoulders to fist the baby curls at the nape of his neck, playing and pulling at them gently. His hands, though, travelled all over her body. Her chest, breasts, abdomen, stomach, hips, thighs – to slipping right past where she was beginning to ache and squeezing her bum, caressing her back that had been hunched over papers all day long and finally one hand went to fist her hair, the other one slipping down and down until his fingers reached the bottom of her bum.

Wrapping her legs around his hips, Harry started to move towards the bathroom, his hold on her tightening by each minute and the moment she realized what Harry had done, water was already pouring on them and starting to soak their clothes.

"I literally hate you so much," she said as they both hurried to take off their clothes.

Chuckling, Harry asked, "no kissing tomorrow?"

"No kissing tomorrow," Y/n assured him, nodding her head and then laughing with him knowing that there was no way that rule would be put into practise.

[sadaveniren]

Happy 9 years in this fandom to me 🥳🥳

I made this tumblr so that way I could start posting my first 1D fic (spoiler it’s unfinished - blame Zayn leaving) and try and make some friends in a new fandom. Very quickly I befriended @ashavahishta (because I asked for beta/britpicking help in my author’s note and she reached out to me 🥺) and I’ve been lucky in fandom friends ever since. I joined fandom during a really difficult time for me personally and sure! The nonsense that was 1D in 2015 was absolutely wild but it also kept me distracted from what I was dealing with and so I will always, always be thankful for this fandom for the people it has brought into my life.

I’ve seen Harry 4 times, one of them being ONO for HS3. I’ve seen Niall twice and will forever be bitter about the canceled Niall/Lewis tour with Fletcher as opener. I’ve seen Louis 3 times, once was for his album release in NYC for walls - WHERE I ALSO MET HIM WITH @crinkle-eyed-boo AND @onesweetworld18 AND HE SIGNED MY CD (and also swore so loud when he realized I was 36 weeks pregnant 🤣) I helped @londonfoginacup and @lululawrence and LOML Jenna hand out hundreds of rainbow flags in Iowa and then danced with Sus waving our flags the entire time and Louis kept coming over and watching us and then gave the SPEECH HE GAVE IN IOWA ABOUT BEING BRAVE AND TRUE TO YOURSELF THAT WAS FOR US IT WAS FOR US SUS HE LOVES US 😭😭

I’ve written over a million words in this fandom, 72 fics in total. I’ve brainstormed so many fics and read even more fics. I’ve been moved to tears and changed by fics I’ve read. Hell fic is what brought me to tumblr to begin with because everyone just had to keep writing this stupid trope where Harry and Louis have complimentary nautical tattoos and this company Modest is forcing them to be closeted 🙄 like what popular fic gave rise to THAT madness (it was them your honor. Those fuckers right over there)

I cried at music the boys have made. I’ve laughed at the dumb interviews they’ve done. I have a stupid teddy bears number in my phone because of these assholes. I’ve been woken up at 3am by a phone tree to let me know new music has dropped. I’ve been here for leaks and demos and rumors and it’s been such a huge part of my life and my identity. You literally can’t say “we are all moving in one direction” in front of me without me giggling.

I love this fandom so much. I love tumblr larries. I love my friends. I am so happy to have been here for 9 years and I can’t wait to celebrate more years 🤗

🎵 The friends we make, the love it takes is worth, is worth, is worth it all this time 🎵

[meyhew]

(Tw as i'm talking about the book)

Yeah I made the mistake of reading some pages of the book after he passed and while I am in no way trying to dictate how Maya should feel, I did even feel more upset because he just seemed so.. broken, like in the infamous "axe chase scene" its depicted as him having a full-blown manic attack it doesn't read as him chasing her out of pure rage to kill, he literally lays in a bed of glass and passes out from the aftermath, he clearly was not mentally well

I know we can't rewind time, but when the book released, Maya said it was fiction based on real events so no one could pin specific scenes on Liam; the book ends with her admitting that he loved her but that he had demons he was facing, I think that's why there wasn't so much talk when it initially released because it read as "hurt people hurt people". I don't know why she decided to come out now and I have no intention to judge her on it, maybe it was because of the hate that he was receiving from Nialls concert that she saw it as it as good opportunity bring it up (this all initially started when she said it was Zayn who had attacked Liam). I don't know, I really don't know, and I wish things had played out differently

(Also on a side note I think it's interesting how everyone is saying that we should listen to Maya, however she has come out to say Liam DID NOT groom her when she was 15 and that him being in 1D had no power imbalance on their relationship and yet people seem to be completely ignoring that)

liam never groomed her i don’t know where the hell that’s coming from. yes their age gap when they started dating was kind of weird but he Did Not Groom Her. people see new words and just start using them without understanding their very specific definitions. it drives me nuts

also regarding the book—i’m going to sound very very callous when i say this but: i don’t care what’s in it. maya said it’s inspired by her real life, which is fine. people do that all the time. but that also means that i can’t take what’s in the book as fact. because she has exaggerated reality. it would be different if she had sought legal action to address everything but she didn’t. and yeah, i get it, doing all that is complicated blah blah but if it’s bad enough that you need to tell the whole fucking world about it and sensationalize it, then you can find lawyers who would make your abuser’s life a living hell. a restraining order would’ve been a good start but anyway. he’s dead now so it really doesn’t matter

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ: Part 15

“They See Right Through Me”

Joel Miller x f!o/c

A/N: thank you for your patience as I took the time to write this for y’all. This was not only the longest chapter I have written, this was also the hardest, and emotionally challenging one thus far. I am extremely proud of how this has turned out. Thank you for reading ♡

Summary: Save who you can save Joel.

~word count: 11.7k~

Warnings: age gap (o/c is in her early 30’s Joel is in his 50’s) established relationship, angst, dark! Joel, mean! Joel. You’re gonna hate him by the end of this chapter! Joel, canon typical violence, death of a major character, trauma, arguments, gaslighting, PTSD, anger, rage, heart break, triggering themes that may be disturbing for some viewers. Please proceed with caution and read the warnings. (+18) minors dni !

Songs for this chapter:

“The Archer” By Taylor Swift

“You Are My Sunshine” by The Civil Wars

“Godspeed” By Frank Ocean

“Same Old Same Old” by The Civil Wars

“take a moment to breathe” by normal the kid

“My Cell” The Lumineers

“Paper Houses” by Niall Horan

“Wait” by M83

“Save Yourself” by KALEO

“It’ll All Work Out” by Phoebe Bridgers

Summer, 2023 : 5 Miles outside the QZ

“From this point forward, the three of us have to actively remember that Ellie is just a kid.” You spoke, sitting along an old crate in the abandoned building you, Joel, and Tess had found to take cover from the storm. Ellie was asleep, in the middle of the room. She used her backpack as a pillow, under a bed of moss.

Joel scoffed alongside you. His hand was still bloodied and bruised up. The thin skin of his knuckles were torn, shredded, and you were doing your best to clean out any debris embedded in the flesh. “She ain’t just a kid. She’s fuckin’ cargo to us.” He gritted out. He could feel the muscles, and tendons in his hand twitching. He had definitely broken it from the amount of times his fist made contact with the FEDRA soldiers face.

“Does she fucking look like cargo to you Joel? That’s a kid who’s life just got drastically turned upside down in a matter of hours. All she’s clearly known is Marlene, and the fireflies, and now 3 strangers.” You shook your head, refusing to make eye contact with him as you swiped a bit of 20 year old disinfectant along his knuckles, eliciting a hiss from between his lips.

“She is cargo. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you don’t let your emotions get in the fucking way. You forgetting what we’re doin’ this for? We’re doin’ this for Tommy, Gwen. We get the battery, the truck, everything Marlene promised us, and we go and find my brother. That’s the plan and it ain’t changin’ darlin’.”

“You know, if I had just met you two, I’d think you were an old married couple by the way you fuckin’ bicker together.” Tess whispered, amusement in her tone.

Joel rolled his eyes immediately in response. “Yeah?” He scoffed. “Well, we sure as hell ain’t an old married couple.”

“No, but you’re actin’ like one. At this rate, I’d put a ring on her finger sooner, rather than later Texas.”

“You see an every kiss begins with Kay or jade jewelers, or whatever the fuck around here? Cause I sure as hell ain’t seein’ any. Not to mention, that ain’t our style. Marriage? That’s hilarious Tess. Really fuckin’ funny.”

It wasn’t that Joel thought there was anything bad about marriage. It was more-so the fact the that he hadn’t had thoughts about marriage in over 20 fucking years. Besides, putting a ring on your finger seemed way too cliche. Totally not yours, or his style.

“I think I’d actually commit murder if he even attempted to put a ring on my finger.” You chimed in, your eyes were still focused on tending to Joel’s hand.

“That’s exactly 100% why you’re Joel’s girl.”

“Damn right she is.” He agreed.

“You’re both seriously beyond insufferable right now. Just wanted to let you know.” You mumbled under your breath with a small grin tugging on your lips.

A bright flash of lighting, followed by a loud crack of thunder, ended the lighthearted banter.

“Have you thought of the possibility that maybe Marlene is lying about the truck, and weapons that she promised us? Look, I have my reasons to not trust Marlene, but I really think we need to think about this from a logical standpoint. If the case ends up being there’s no truck, or weapons, we can’t just leave Ellie to fend for herself.”

Joel was ripping his hand from your grasp when you had attempted to bandage his knuckles up. He had given you a stone cold look, one that sent an unpleasant chill down your spine.

“Marlene seemed too fuckin’ desperate to make up a lie like that darlin’. Besides, Tess and I have known Marlene far longer than you have. If she says there’s a truck and weapons waiting at the state house, she ain’t lyin’ about that. The only reason you have to not trust her is because she’s a fuckin’ firefly.”

You narrowed your eyes at him as you tucked your first aid kit back into your backpack and stood up. “Yeah? Well if you remember correctly, she’s the reason why I got fucking thrown into lockup. Her and the rest of the fireflies are the reason behind that. You just want me to go along and trust her? She’s never even fucking liked me Joel.” His gaze fell upon your face as you shrugged off your jacket and gently placed it over Ellie’s curled up sleeping form just a few feet away.

“You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time Gwen. Shit fuckin’ happens. You don’t wanna trust Marlene? Go on right ahead and see where that gets you. You’ll be eating your words the second we drop this kid off and get our reward.”

You scoffed under your breath as you sank down against the wall, far away from him now with your arms crossed over your chest. “Yeah, okay Joel. Can you stop being a fucking asshole?”

“Stop saying stupid fuckin’ shit and then I won’t have a reason to be an asshole darlin’”

You bit down on the inside of your cheek, tasting copper along your tongue. You missed the moments where Joel was attentive to you, and your feelings. Where he was tender, gentle, soft with your heart. You missed that side of him desperately.

Ellie, unbeknownst to the three of you, was wide awake and listening to the entire conversation as it ensued. The second you placed your jacket over her, she felt an immediate trust for you. Especially for the fact that you emphasized that she was just a kid. She was wary of the other two you traveled with. Especially Joel. He seemed like one mean motherfucker.

Joel had taken the first watch of the night while you and Tess slept. Except, you couldn’t sleep at all. Despite how mean your partner was to you earlier, you couldn’t give him the cold shoulder forever.

He had turned his head towards you in the slightest when he could hear your boots scraping against the pavement as you stood up. He let out a soft sigh when you sank down beside him, pulling your knees up to your chest.

“Why aren’t you sleepin’ honey?” His tone was much softer now, but you didn’t want to get your hopes up.

“I don’t sleep most nights anymore Joel.”

He frowned at this and finally looked over at you, turning his body so he was facing you. His good hand was still firmly grasped around the machine gun strapped across his shoulder.

“You wanna talk about it? I’m all ears for you darlin’” he rasped.

“There’s nothing to talk about Joel. This has been going on for months. I’ve come to accept that a decent night's rest is not something attainable for me anymore. I’m on edge constantly, and for good reason.” You had your chin tucked into your shoulder as you looked over at him. The rain wasn’t as heavy anymore but there were still low rumbles of thunder in the distance.

Joel took a deep inhale through his nose, his nostrils flaring slightly as he breathed out, feeling the tension in his shoulders dissipate.

“C’mere. You ain’t have a reason to be on edge when I’m right here. Okay? Look, I know these last few months have not been ideal. Shits been handed to us left and right. I don’t want you thinkin’ that I don’t care either, alright? You know I do.” He slipped the rifle off of his shoulder before he was reaching for you, gently wrapping his good hand around your forearm, coaxing you closer.

“I know you care, Joel. I know that you’re just stressed over Tommy, and now this whole situation. I just…I got so fucking comfortable when we were just..happy. You remember that?” You didn’t fight him as he gently pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly to his chest, resting his chin along the top of your head. His arms were secured around your middle, your back pressed firmly to his chest.

“We both knew that wasn’t going to last forever baby. Those were the best moments. I ain’t forgotten them. M’sorry for the way I’ve snapped at you. I don’t know how to deal with how I’ve been feelin’ about Tommy. I know that’s not an excuse to treat ya that way. I don’t wanna lose you too..”

“We could have stayed with Bill and Frank y’know. There were so many houses and we could have had a comfortable life there. I know it sounds silly, how can anyone live comfortably in an apocalypse? Somehow Bill and Frank have. They’ve pretty much gone and done the impossible. Listen, I know you don’t mean what you’ve said. Does it hurt me? Absolutely. You’d have to do something unforgivable to lose me Joel. So please don’t go speaking like that.” You placed your hands over his, as you gently brought his damaged hand up to your lips, lightly pressing a kiss to the broken skin on his knuckles.

“Maybe we can have that one day, sweet girl. Just the two of us, okay? We’ll find a home somewhere to call ours. Maybe a couple horses, a nice big yard? A library for all your books..a decent mattress, with pillows that aren’t moth eaten. A nice big kitchen where we can cook together. We’ll have Bill, Frank, Tess, and Bea over every weekend for dinner. I’ll make sweet love to you every fuckin’ night. Doesn’t that sound wonderful baby? We’ll have that one day, I promise you. It’s just not in the cards for us right now, but that’s okay. You wanna know why? Cause no matter what, I got you, and you got me. Kay? No matter what happens.” He whispered against your hair, his eyes closed as he pictured a domestic lifestyle with you by his side. He wanted that so fucking badly with you. He could nearly taste it.

You were left feeling stunned in his arms. Joel’s confession was well thought out, tender, filled to the brim with all the little details. You could tell by his deliverance that this was not something he came up with on a whim. No, your Joel had thought about the possibility of having a normal life with you for a long long time. “No matter what happens, I got you, you got me. Always.” You whispered.

Joel tightened his grip around you slightly. He didn’t care about the throbbing pain from his freshly broken hand, or the impending reality that your lives had drastically changed in a matter of hours. He just wanted to make sure you got a decent night of sleep finally.

So, he sang. Just above a whisper, the same lullaby you had sung to him the night that his nightmares nearly consumed him.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away. Please don’t take my sunshine away…”

You were fast asleep by the time he whispered out the last word. He held you all night long, listening intently for any sounds that could be of a threat. Even when it was Tess’s turn to take watch, he didn’t wake her either. His gun was nearby, ready to grab if needed. His eyes stayed trained on the sleeping teenager just a few feet away. Ellie, who he viewed as just being cargo to transport.

By morning's impending approach, the storm had since passed on. The sky was painted in an array of pink, red, and orange hues. Although a sight to behold, a red sky at dawn was never a good sign. The old saying goes, red sky at night, sailors delight. Red sky at morning, sailors warning.

The four of you had no inclination to predict that this was Tess’s last day walking in the living realm. Predicting the weather was something just about anyone could do. Predicting the moment someone would take their last dying breath? That was a feat impossible.

Ellie had slowly awoken to the sun's warm rays peeking through the cracks in the abandoned building. A golden butterfly fluttered above her sleeping form as her eyes slowly opened. She was still in a sleepy state as she slowly sat up, taking in her surroundings before she heard a loud creaking sound behind her.

She was greeted by a stern look from both Joel, and Tess. He was holding his assault rifle between his hands. The barrel of the gun pointed at the ground. The look he was giving the teenager was menacing enough as it was. The only kind face Ellie could find in the small space was yours.

“Morning…” she spoke, hesitation laced in her tone.

Just as she began to slowly rise from the mossy floor, Joel had lifted the gun in her direction, causing the teenager's eyes to go wide and you kicked his chair with your boot from where you stood behind him. “Joel..” you warned. He could feel your eyes glaring into the back of his skull, disapprovingly.

“If you say that she’s just a kid one more fuckin’ time.” He snapped back, keeping his gun trained on Ellie.

“Do I look like I’m infected? Seriously, can you not point that thing at me man? What, are you actually gonna shoot me?”

“Just might. Now, show us your arm. Slow. If you make any—”

“Sudden movements you’ll shoot. Yeah, I think I fucking got that part.” Ellie quipped back. She slowly lifted the sleeve of her hoodie revealing her 3 week old bite mark in the sunlight. From where the 3 of you were, it was pretty obvious this was not a fresh bite in the slightest.

“Yeah, it’s not getting any worse, is it? I’m not infected. This thing is 3 weeks old and I haven’t turned into one of those..things.”

Joel slowly lowered his gun before he slowly looked over at Tess before he let his gaze slightly drift up to you. “What the hell was Marlene doin’ with an infected kid in the first place?”

“I’m not infected. She found me after I was bitten and before you ask, no. She didn’t shoot me. She locked me up in that shit hole and had her guys test me every fucking day. They chained me to a pipe and made me recite my name and other shit back to them to see if my personality had changed. It clearly didn’t.”

“Did your shit attitude come before, or after you were bitten?” Joel asked.

You kicked the foot of his chair again, this time a little harder.

You could tell the teenager fought hard to not roll her eyes at him. “Y’know the thing I think really impressed them was the fact that I didn’t turn into a fucking monster.”

When the three of you didn’t respond, Ellie slowly rose to her feet and Joel’s gun followed. “Really man? I thought we were done with that shit. Can I just go pee now? I’ve been holding it for a while.”

Tess had grabbed an old magazine on the floor and tossed it over to the teenager. “Go ahead. You can find a nice spot back there.”

Ellie caught the magazine before she started to walk towards the back room to do her business. “There’s not gonna be anything bad in here?”

“Just you.”

Once Ellie was out of sight, you nearly wanted to rip Joel’s gun from his hands but refrained as you crossed your arms over your chest with a sigh. “She made it through the fuckin’ night, Joel. I think you can cut it out with pointing the gun at her. She’s clearly not a threat to any of us.”

“It doesn’t fuckin’ matter. It’s gonna happen sooner or later. Maybe her body just has a late response to the cordyceps. She can’t be trusted. I told you this was a bad fuckin’ idea to begin with and now that we know she’s infected, you still think we’re gonna follow through with this?”

“You saw her arm, Joel. If she was infected it would have looked completely different. We’ve seen what infected bite marks look like and she is not one of them.”

“Yeah well I ain’t about to go and take that chance. We’re close enough to the wall. We can sneak her back into the QZ and we’ll just find a different way to get the battery. I ain’t hauling an infected kid around with us.”

“We take her back to the QZ and they’re gonna kill her. FEDRA see’s that bite mark and she’s through. You really wanna have a kid's blood on your hands like that?”

“Do you hear yourself right now Gwen? You’re actin’ like this kid has some fuckin’ life ahead of her or somethin’. We take her back to the QZ and get the battery a different way.”

“What happened to fiercely believing in the fact that Marlene is gonna have a whole truck and weapons waiting for us if we bring her to the state house? You’re just gonna go and abandon that?”

“You should be jumping for joy over the fact that we’re finally fuckin’ agreeing on somethin’ for once. An infected kid is not worth the possibility of that truck, or the weapons we were promised.”

“I’m with Gwen on this one.” Tess finally spoke as Joel whipped his around suddenly to look at her, narrowing his eyes.

“You’re what?”

“You heard me Texas. I don’t think I need to repeat it.” She spoke without looking at him just as Ellie had returned. “You hungry kid? You can share some of ours.”

“Thanks. Marlene sent me with my own.” Ellie spoke as she sank down into the moss, pulling out what appeared to be a chicken sandwich from her backpack.

“Is that chicken?” You asked, feeling your mouth water at the sight of something besides the dried, tasteless jerky the three of you were eating.

“Yep. Marlene said they get it from smugglers..guess not you guys.” She smirked a little as she took a bite of her sandwich.

Tess was already up and out of her chair and Joel had tried to stop her but she pushed him away. “Why are you so important to Marlene? Hm? Don’t even think about lyin’ to me kid. If you do, we’ll take you back to the QZ.”

“Well..you take me back and you don’t get your battery.” Ellie responded.

“Ohh. So you got a good set of ears on you huh? Well, then I’m sure you heard that he wants to shoot you then right?”

Ellie no longer possessed a smirk on her face as she slowly looked up at Joel’s displeased face. “So then why hasn’t he shot me already? If what you’re saying is true.”

“Trying to change the subject isn’t gonna do you any good either. So I’m gonna talk to you like an adult, alright? Joel and I aren’t good people. We’re doin’ this for us because apparently you’re worth somethin’ to Marlene, whatever that may be. So if I were you, I’d drop the smart ass attitude because his patience? It’s wearing mighty thin. I suggest you answer my question. Why are you so important to Marlene?”

“What about her? Is she not a good person either?” Ellie spoke, gesturing her head towards you.

“Gwen? Let’s just say..she’s better than the two of us but not by much. Sweet face, sure. Knows how to wield a knife like it’s the fuckin’ back of her hand.”

“That’s badass.”

“Answer her question, Ellie. It’s alright.” You spoke softly, earning a disapproving look from your lover.

“Okay..well, Marlene told me not to tell anyone and here I am telling the three of you..” she sighed, rubbing her hand over her face. “There’s a Firefly base camp somewhere out west with doctors. They’re working on a cure.”

“Oh of course they are. Yeah, sure I’ll believe it. This ain’t the fuckin’ first time we’ve heard about a possible cure. It’s all horse shit.” Joel muttered under his breath.

“So whatever happened to me is—”

“The key to finding the vaccine. That’s what they all fuckin’ say and guess what? They’ve tried to find a cure numerous times and ain’t nothin’ worked. It’s the same goddamn thing every single—”

Ellie rose to her feet in a fury, staring at Joel head on. “Fuck you, man. I didn’t ask for this.”

“You and me fuckin’ both. We’re wastin’ daylight the more time we spend talkin’ on this nonsense. I’m done. Pack your shit up and let’s go. We’re takin’ you back to the QZ.”

Tess let out a sigh, running her fingers through her hair. “Let’s just finish this Joel. We get what we want regardless. We take her back, and we risk all 4 of us getting shot. I don’t know about you, but I still have some life worth livin.’”

Joel clenched his jaw tightly, breathing in deeply through his nose. This was not a good idea. However, we was now outnumbered by two. “If she so much as fuckin’ twitches—”

He was cut off by the obnoxious sounds of Ellie portraying a clicker. Making the snarling clicking sounds as she contorted her limbs at an uncomfortable angle.

“Ellie don’t.” You warned her.

She rubbed the back of her neck, clearing her throat as she nodded, “okay..”

The 4 of you gathered up your things to head out and just as Joel was lifting his rifle from the ground, slinging the strap over his shoulder, Ellie asked if she too could have a gun.

“Can I have a gun?”

“Absolutely fuckin’ not. Not a chance in hell.” Was Joel’s immediate response.

“Okay, Jesus fuck. Fine. I’ll just throw a fuckin’ sandwich at them or something.” She muttered under her breath as she threw her backpack strap over her shoulder.

As the 4 of you stepped out into the warm sunlight, you watched as Ellie looked around the ruined city in amazement. Buildings half fallen over, taken hostage by thick vines and moss. There were giant craters, the size of small moons, where the government had sent bombs to slow down the rate of the infected.

Joel had come to a halt in front of the impassable wreckage blocking a quick path to the State House. “Long way or short way?”

“It’s the long way or the ‘we’re fuckin’ dead way.’” Tess added.

“Long way it is then. We’ll have to go check from the hotel first. See if the coast is clear. C’mon.” You were leading the way now, while Ellie walked alongside you, Tess in the middle, and Joel in the back.

You and Ellie engaged in small talk. You genuinely wanted the kid to feel somewhat comfortable with this entire situation and Ellie seemingly appreciated your efforts. She told you how she had gotten bit and you had to admit, this kid was pretty ballsy for her age. “Well, I mean, you got some balls on you, sister, that’s for fucking sure.”

“Thanks.” She had a grin creeping up on her face.

“Soo..no one is gonna come looking for you right? Mom, dad?..boyfriend?..”

“Uhhh well, I’m an orphan and nope.”

You could feel Joel’s eyes on the back of your skull as he walked behind you, shaking his head at your efforts to befriend this cargo.

“See, everyone told me the big open city was gonna be crazy! Infected runnin’ around everywhere. Are we even gonna see any? Cause I’ve heard there’s like super-infected that explode fungus spores on you! Is that not true?”

“Shit, I hope not. Those sound fuckin’ terrifying.” You said with a small grin.

“Okay, what about the ones that have their heads split open and can see in the dark like bats?”

“You mean clickers? Yeah, there’s lots of those. They’re the most common type that we’ve come across. Not the hardest to kill, but they use echolocation—” you were cut off by the sound of a loud, distant animalistic yell coming from deep within the fallen city.

On instinct, Joel was close to your side, looking around as you waited for another yell to follow. The only sound you could hear was a crow perched on a tree nearby.

“Let’s keep movin’” Joel spoke as he gave you a gentle nudge forward.

As you approached the hotel, Ellie had her own set of questions for you as she kicked at the stray rubble beneath her red, worn sneakers.

“So is he like..your boyfriend or somethin’?”

“My boyfriend? Well, no. Not exactly. I wouldn’t call him that if I’m being honest.”

“But you’re like together, right? I think that part is pretty obvious.”

“Yeah, we are. Just don’t think he’d particularly enjoy me calling him my boyfriend. It’s not really his taste.”

“Well, no offense to you, he doesn’t seem like the boyfriend type anyway.”

This elicited a light laugh to slip past your lips as you covered it by coughing into the sleeve of your jacket. “Oh, you’re right on the money with that one, kid. He is far from the boyfriend type.”

“But he’s like your partner then?..Your person?”

“Yeah, something along those lines. I wouldn’t go as far to put us into a box, y’know?”

“I understand..what about Tess? Does she have anyone?”

“Back in the QZ she does. She has a girlfriend named Beatrix.”

“Wicked.”

“You two done chit chattin’ up there?” Joel spoke, distaste evident in his tone.

“Yeah, we’re just makin’ the time pass is all.”

“Oh yeah? Well ain’t that fuckin’ nice for you two.” He scoffed as he walked ahead of you, stopping at the foot of the stairs looking into the overflowing of water into the once hotel lobby.

“Is he always this grumpy?” Ellie leaned over and whispered to you.

“Oh, this isn’t even the worst that you’ve seen of it, kid. Trust me.”

The 4 of you started to trudge through the green, murky water to get to the other side of the lobby. Ellie being the kid that she was, wandered off to the side when she saw what used to be the front desk and pressed on the bell a few times as she leaned over the counter. “Ding! Ding! Yes, sir. I would like your finest suite, please.” “Yes, ma’am. Would you like me to take your luggage?”

“You’re a weird kid.” Joel watched her with a quizzical expression etched on his weathered features.

“You’re a weird kid.” Ellie sarcastically responded back, nearly sticking her tongue out at him as she pushed the luggage trolley forward.

A very deceased human Skeleton slipped out from behind the trolley and scared the living daylights out of the teen. Much to yours, and Ellie’s surprise, Joel was at her side immediately, gun raised in the direction of the apparent threat.

She’s just cargo, my ass. Was the first thought that came to your mind.

Joel had offered Ellie his hand as he helped her up but as soon as their hands touched, he was ripping his away from her grasp, staring down at it momentarily with a hard expression on his face. Perhaps it was from the fact that his hand was still freshly broken. Or there was a possibility he was shocked that he even allowed himself to touch someone who was ‘infected.’

After climbing 10 flights of stairs, you were met with another obstacle that was definitely not present the last time you had come through this way. “What the fuck man. This definitely wasn’t here last time, was it?” You asked, bent over slightly as you were catching your breath.

“No, it sure as hell wasn’t. Maybe we can try one of the doors?” Tess walked past you, trying the two doors with no luck.

“Damn. Well, maybe we can go climb through it and work our way around?”

“It’s worth a shot.”

Joel had pushed Ellie to the side then, before giving you a boost up over the rubble before you helped Tess over the side, grasping her forearms as you pulled her up.

“Just be careful, alright?” He spoke as he slowly sat down on an abandoned suitcase across from Ellie.

“Yeah yeah. We’ll be fine, cowboy. Just keep an eye on the kid.” You peeked your head out from a gap in the rubble and gave him a reassuring nod, and a subtle wink.

Ellie sat across from him, flipping her switchblade and catching it by the handle each time.

“That’s a nice knife you got there. Where’d you learn to do that?” Joel asked.

“The circus.” Ellie deadpanned.

Joel let out a deep sigh, looking off to the side as he tried to figure out why he even bothered to make small talk with a teenager.

“Where are you from?” Ellie asked.

“Texas.” He gruffly responded.

“What about Tess and Gwen?”

“Detroit. It’s in Michigan and Gwen is from Chicago.”

“I go to school, smart ass. I know where Detroit is. Chicago has that giant fucking bean, right? Always wanted to see it.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it. She’s obsessed with it. No fuckin’ clue why.”

“Uh huh. So you two like a—” Ellie already knew the answer, thanks to you. She was just slightly curious to see what Joel would respond with.

“Pass.”

“Oh well cause she told me you guys were—”

“Pass.”

“How’d you end up in Boston?”

“Pass.”

“So what am I supposed to do? Talk to a fuckin’ brick wall? Fuck. She was right, you are grumpy all the time.”

“She what? God dammit Gwen.” He growled lowly under his breath. “No more questions about me, alright? That’s enough.”

“Alright, grumpy. How long do infected live?”

Joel whipped his head back around towards her, narrowing his eyes before he chuckled, “Oh, I thought you went to school.”

“Yeah, well..it’s a really shitty one.”

“Some of ‘em last about a month or two. There’s others that have been walkin’ around ‘bout 20 years.”

“Yeah? You ever kill one?”

Joel nearly scoffed at this question, almost offended that this kid even assumed that he hadn’t killed any.

“Yeah, I have killed lots of ‘em.”

“Was it hard killing them?..like, knowing they were people once? Has it ever bothered you?..”

Joel was slightly taken aback by her question. He often did forget that the infected used to be everyday people he would see on the street. Sometimes he would be forced to face humanity, and realize that he was in a sense, killing people. He wasn’t a total monster like many would have assumed him to be. He just wasn’t the most open with sharing personal details about himself.

“Sometimes. It’s easy to forget that they were once people when they’re comin’ at you with one goal in mind; to turn you into one of ‘em. So you gotta decide if it’s gonna be you, or them. You think I survived this long without havin’ to kill?” He sighed as he leaned back against the wall. “I ain’t exactly proud of it, but it’s what you gotta do to survive. It's always either gonna be you, or them.”

“What about that guy last night?”

Just as Joel was going to respond, he could hear rustling just outside the door and he was up in a flash with his gun aimed at the door.

“You can put the gun down, cowboy. It’s just us. Relax.” You spoke through the door as you pushed it open, revealing you and Tess on the other side. From the looks on your faces alone, Joel could tell that something was definitely wrong.

“What now? Did you guys see something?”

“Yeah, and you’re not gonna like it. Not one bit I’m afraid.” You confirmed.

“Fuckin’ fantastic.” He grumbled as he gently nudged past you and Tess followed by Ellie.

Shortly after, the 4 of you were standing over the ledge of the hotel, looking down at a shrieking hoard of infected, writhing on the ground below. You were standing alongside Joel, noticing that he was nervously fidgeting with his fingers and picking at the skin around his cuticles. You gently grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers together as you gave his hand a light, reassuring squeeze.

“The last time we were here, there weren’t nearly this many of them. Most of them were still deep inside the buildings. Guess enough people came wanderin’ through looking for the QZ. They found themselves seeking shelter..went inside the buildings and that’s how they get more of the fuckin’ city bit by bit, year after year.” Tess stated, glancing over at you and Joel momentarily before looking at Ellie.

“What’re we gonna do?” You spoke quietly to him, gently stroking your thumb across the outside of his hand, leaning in close to his tall frame.

“We’re gonna have to go through the museum. We ain’t have another choice darlin.’”

“That was nearly a suicide mission the last time we went through..remember?”

“Yeah, but there’s a chance whatever is left of ‘em is dead by now. If it gets dicey, we split and figure out another way, alright? Right now, this is our only option and I ain’t lookin’ forward to it either.” he pressed a quick kiss to your forehead, just a smidge of affection that it seemed like you both needed.

“They’re connected in more ways than you know. The fungus also grows underground. Long fibers, like wires. They’re all entwined under the surface and if you step on a patch of cordyceps in one place, you can awake a dozen infected somewhere else. They know where you are and it’s only a matter of minutes before they find you. You’re not immune from being ripped apart, kid.” Tess explained.

Ellie was fully listening, soaking up all the information that Tess was providing her. The situation at hand was becoming all too real for her 14 year old self.

“We have to go through the museum. It’s the short-way and not the most ideal, nor the safest, but we ain’t have much of a choice.” Joel spoke up, letting go of your hand as he stepped forward.

“I had a really bad feelin’ you were gonna come to that conclusion Texas.” Tess spoke with a sigh.

Ellie’s eyes nearly bugged out of her skull when she saw the amount of fungus tendrils stretched across the expanse of the outside structure of the museum. The colors were faded, not nearly as vibrant as freshly infected. Despite their obvious expiration, the building still looked ominous and uninviting.

“You’re fuckin’ kidding me. We seriously have to go through there? You sure there’s not another way man? This is screaming ‘DANGER’ like c’mon, aren’t the lights flashing in your brain right now too? Cause mine are like fuckin’ sirens.”

Joel ignored the teen as he bent down, inspecting one of the thick strands of fungus. He used the butt of his gun to stab at it to check and see if it was in fact dead. “It’s bone dry. Good chance that they’re all finally fuckin’ dead in there.” He was already pulling his flashlight out from his bag while you and Tess were pulling out your guns.

“I have a spare hand y’know.” Ellie stated the obvious.

“Congratulations.” Joel responded.

He was the first to enter the museum, rifle at the ready. When he deemed it was safe enough to enter, he turned his head towards the opening of the door and gave you a quick nod to follow.

Once the 4 of you were inside the museum, Ellie’s pupils had blown out when she saw just how much fungus coated the walls, floors, and pretty much any inanimate object. It was everywhere.

Joel was still extremely cautious where he stepped, shining his flashlight along the fungus infested floor. It appeared that the once living infected, were all deceased by now. That was until Ellie stumbled upon a fresh kill and let out a surprised, “oh shit!”

Joel was immediately stepping around her, gun raised and his face immediately fell as he looked over at you and Tess. So, maybe they weren’t all dead after all. Or maybe this guy was attacked outside the museum and just found himself to be in an unlucky situation.

The three of you began to talk in a hushed whisper over the situation. Ellie could barely decipher what was being said from how low your voices were but she caught onto the bit of the conversation regarding ‘not hearing them’ what the hell were they going on about? What were they listening for? As far as she was concerned, the museum was deathly silent.

“I don’t hear anything. Who, or what would you hear?” Ellie had suddenly asked. Joel’s response was to raise his hand off his gun, giving her a warning look to shut the fuck up with his eyes alone.

“Did an infected person do that? Cause I was attacked by one and it sure as hell didn’t do that. Dude is all torn up. I’ve never seen anything like it.” She whispered.

“Okay, from this point forward, we are silent. Not quiet. Silent.” He emphasized heavy on the silent part as he looked sternly at Ellie. He held no concern over you and Tess being silent but this kid was already becoming a nuisance in his eyes. “You got that? Not one single fuckin’ sound. This isn’t funny business, kid. This is the real fuckin’ world.” He harshly whispered.

“What—”

“No. No questions. Just do what I say, alright? You wanna live to see another day, don’t you? Exactly. That’s what I thought.” He whispered as he lowered his gun and took a few silent steps to the side, locking eyes with you for a moment. Your Joel never usually showed fear. He was able to encase it well behind his hardened features. A furrow of his brow, the quirk of his upper lip, all used as decoys. Even in the low lighting, you could see his face etched with fear. Just as fast as it appeared, it was gone again, hidden behind the vast ridges of his weathered skin.

Joel had taken the lead while you silently stepped behind him, keeping your finger hovering over the trigger of your gun, ready to react if need be. You glanced back at Ellie and gave her a reassuring nod to follow you while Tess walked behind her. Despite how quiet you all were being, the old floor boards were creaking with every step your boots took.

The stairway was absolutely covered with now bone dry fungus. You couldn’t even see where the next step started from how dense the fungus was. It creeped up the walls, over paintings and the railings of the staircase. You watched Joel’s footing as he carefully stepped over a mound of once living infected. You couldn’t even make out their faces as the fungus had completely morphed them to be unidentifiable.

The sickening crunch of a once human hand beneath Ellie’s shoe had Joel whipping around, shining his flashlight that was attached to the rifle at the teenager. He gave her one long look before he turned away from her and continued to head up the stairs.

A few more steps up and Joel was at the opening of the doorway, slowly pushing it open as you waited for his silent cue. Just as he had given it to you with a slight nod of his head, some of the building's structure began to collapse and crumble as you, Tess, and Ellie stumbled inside before the debris could crush the three of you.

Joel was reaching down grasping the kids arm as he quickly helped her up from the dusty floor while you helped Tess up.

Then there was a loud screech, one that you had heard far too many times. It still sent deep chills down your spine.

click click click click

Ellie was slowly backing towards a wall, her eyes wide with fear as she tried to steady her nervous breaths.

Out from the shadows, illuminated by the steady, bright beam of Joel’s flashlight was a clicker. Its head was completely split open by the cordyceps. The brain cavern was taken over by the fungus. Thick, putrid and brightly colored. Clickers could not see, as they were blinded by the fungus, but they could hear, and they could hear very well.

Its body contorted at an uncomfortable angle as it clicked and snarled.

Another screech was heard;two clickers.

Joel was already quickly nudging you against the glass case. His face constricted painfully in your view. This was not an ideal situation to be in. Not one fucking bit.

Ellie was in his direct eyesight and he quickly mouthed to her, “they can’t see, but they can hear.”

The clicker let out a loud, bone chilling growl from the other side of the glass case. You found yourself squeezing your eyes shut momentarily, holding your gun firmly against your chest.

Don’t make a sound. Don’t move. Don’t make a sound. Don’t move.

Joel had slowly brought his pointer finger to his lips, keeping his eyes locked on Ellie to keep her calm.

You could feel the teenager's anxiety, and fear rising with every second and you silently pleaded with her to stay strong.

Joel had turned his head slightly as the clicker stumbled around the side of the glass display case. It was so close you could nearly feel its putrid breath on your skin.

Ellie had let a sharp breath slip past her lips and it was loud enough for the clicker to hear her.

It all happened in a flash as the clicker turned around and screeched loudly before it lunged. Joel had gotten a few shots into its body from where he stood, but it wasn’t nearly enough to inflict any serious damage. “RUN!” he yelled as the other clicker appeared from the shadows. You shot at it once before grabbing Ellie’s arm firmly in your grasp.

Tess had taken a couple more shots before she followed behind you. The three of you ran around the corner, hearts racing and blood fiercely pumping. The clicker was hot on your tail and gaining on you quickly. In one quick movement, you shoved Ellie to the ground, ordering her to crawl to safety.

You and Tess turned to shoot again, but neither of you had time to aim and wasting bullets was the last thing you wanted to do.

You both could hear a loud crash from the other side of the room and Joel’s heavy boots before everything went silent again.

click click click click

Joel had taken cover behind another glass cabinet as he quickly unloaded and reloaded his small pistol. His senses were on overdrive when he heard the low clicks approaching. His eyes squeezed shut momentarily, thinking that his cover was blown.

The clicker had let out a low snarl before it stalked in the other direction and he could barely make out Ellie’s crouched form behind the tarnished glass.

His footsteps were quiet, calculated and precise as he moved from his hiding spot and crouched beside Ellie. He had no other choice but to get her out of this situation. It was almost as if in those crucial moments, his protective nature had completely taken over. He was going to get this kid out of here, unscathed if it was the last thing he ever did.

Him and Ellie silently communicated with their eyes alone. One tilt of his head and she was quietly moving along the side of the glass case, following his lead. Just when he thought they were in the clear, something had crunched beneath his boot. It was stray shards of glass. His blood ran cold at the crunching sound. Neither him, nor Ellie had time to react as the clicker lunged over the glass case and threw itself on them.

You could hear Joel’s grunts and Ellie’s terrified screams from where you stood behind a nearby wall. You were going to have to act fast if you were to save them both.

bang bang bang

Joel had pumped the clicker with lead, causing it to stumble backwards, allowing him and Ellie to scramble to their feet.

You peeked around the corner, taking aim at the clicker's head before you pulled the trigger and sent it stumbling to the ground. Even after its body hit the floor with a sickening thud, Joel pulled his own trigger a few more times till it was no longer moving.

The second clicker came charging out of the blue, but didn’t make it far as Tess had thrown an ax at its neck, and you finished it off with a bullet to the head.

Once the apparent threat was deceased, everyone let out a shaky breath. From where you were standing, you could tell Tess was injured from the way she was avoiding putting too much weight on one foot. “You alright?”

“Just a twisted ankle, I’ll live. Don’t worry.” She responded.

“Fuck me.” Ellie exclaimed as she lifted up the sleeve of her hoodie and revealed a fresh bleeding bite mark along her forearm. “I mean, if it was gonna happen to one of us..”

You were at her side then and gently tugged her sleeve down. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

Tess’s final and only request

You sat alongside on the roof, pulling out a roll of duct tape from your bag as she pulled off her boot. You wasted no time to start to wrap her foot with the tape. “Just a sprained ankle you said? Nothin’ else?” You asked, looking up at the older woman momentarily.

“Yeah, just a sprained ankle Gwen. I’ll be fine.” Tess looked at you as if she was studying your features. As if she was storing your image deep inside her brain so that she wouldn’t forget you, or your face.

Joel had given the kid a piece of cloth to wrap her arm before he was crouching down on the other side of Tess. “You can walk, right? Ain’t need any help?”

She looked at him the same way she had just looked at you. She wanted to keep your memories up to the very last second. “I’m fine, Texas. Really. Go on and make sure she doesn’t accidentally kill herself or somethin.’”

He gave her a small nod before he stood back up. “Yeah, I know. It looks scary and all but it really ain’t that bad.”

Ellie turned around briefly to look at him before she responded, “no. That was scary. This is wood.” Before she stepped across the thin planks to the otherside.

You gave Tess’s arm a light squeeze before you followed after the kid, glancing back at them momentarily before you crossed over the narrow planks of wood.

“What if the first bite didn’t take? What if the second one does? We’re in way over our fuckin’ heads with this Tess. We all could have fuckin’ died back there and—” Joel was cut off by Tess snapping back at him.

“How ‘bout you just take the good news? Can you please just do that for once? None of us are dead. We’re gonna finish what we started Joel.”

He looked at her briefly, trying to decipher what had ticked her off so easily before he let out a sigh and grabbed his rifle from where it laid on the discolored roof tiles and slung it back over his shoulder.

I failed them. I failed them both. I failed Bea. Tess silently thought to herself as she pulled her knees up to her chest, taking in a few shaky breaths.

Joel crossed over the planks and stood alongside Ellie.

“Is it everything you hoped for?” He asked.

“Jury’s still out.”

“But, man, you can’t deny that view.” Ellie concluded.

You were reloading your gun off to the side, glancing over your shoulder to see Tess approaching. Her demeanor alone was a sure signal that something was off. You just couldn’t figure out what exactly had happened back there. It was going to drive you up a wall, not knowing. You were sure of it.

“C’mon, let’s get there before it’s dark. We’re wasting daylight. Let’s go.” Tess gritted out between her teeth as she was already climbing down the old steel ladder. Her erratic movements threw you off guard completely.

You stopped alongside Joel, brushing your hand across the outside of his bicep before you followed Tess and Ellie down the ladder.

Joel waited a few moments in silence as he glanced down at his broken watch strapped around his wrist before he grabbed the side of the ladder and climbed down.

They’re gonna hate me.

They’ll see right through me.

What will Bea think?

Will she think me to be dead?

I let her down too.

She’ll never know what has become of me.

I won’t turn into a monster.

I won’t become one of them.

Tess was leading the way to the state house. Her footsteps were uncharacteristically fast. She seemed on edge, nervous, sporadic.

The 4 of you were crouched behind a long abandoned car outside of the state house. There was a large military grade truck parked outside. However, there were no signs of weapons, or the fireflies.

“Where the fuck are they? Marlene said they would be here. She fuckin’ promised us.” Tess whispered.

“Everyone just stay here. Alright? Somethin’ ain’t right here.” Joel whispered back before he crept from behind the car to investigate. Once he approached the truck, the 3 of you took a bated breath as he opened the door, aiming the barrel of his gun at the inside of the truck. He was met with blood stained seats but no fireflies.

The side of the open truck door was spattered with blood dripping down the dull metal.

Something definitely was not right here.

Joel had glanced back at you and Tess, shaking his head slightly to signal that it wasn’t safe just yet as he crept around the back of the truck slowly. He took a deep, visible breath as he opened up the two heavy steel doors and was met with no signs of any passengers inhabiting the vehicle.

“What the fuck is goin’ on Joel?” Tess asked as she walked towards him, brushing off your hand along your arm.

“The fuck did I just say about stayin’ back? It ain’t safe! Why didn’t you wait for my–”

“They went inside.” Ellie confirmed from where she was standing. There was a trail of blood leading up the gravel steps to the state house. This definitely was not a good sign at all.

Tess was already heading up the steps in a fury. From where you stood, you could see her hands trembling. “Come on!”

“Tess just wait a fuckin’ minute! By the looks of it, the fireflies are dead and we ain’t gettin’ our battery!” Joel yelled at her to stop.

“Come on!” She was insistent with her tone.

You, Joel, and Ellie had no choice but to follow Tess into the state house. Once inside, you were all met with the bodies of the deceased fireflies, all in a circle in the room. Their crimson blood spilled out along the tiles, staining them in a dark red.

“I mean, there’s gotta be a fuckin’ radio or somethin’ right? Help me look for one!” Tess spoke in a rushed tone as she frantically started looking through the deceased fireflies supplies, knocking over items onto the tile below, creating all sorts of noise.

“Tess? What the fuck is going on with you?” There was an edge to your tone as you came up alongside the older woman. “Maybe Joel was right..maybe we should go back to the QZ and regroup.”

“Fuck that. We’ve made it this far, and now you want to turn back? No. Help me find a radio, Gwen! There’s gotta be one around here. There has to be!”

Joel had noticed that one of the deceased fireflies had clearly been bit as he used his boot to tilt its head to the side.

“Tess, what the fuck are you doin’?” He asked while he watched her rummage around in a fury.

“Where did Marlene say she was taking you? Ellie! Where did she fuckin’ say she was taking you?” Tess ignored Joel as she walked over to the teen and you instinctively stepped in front of Ellie.

“Uhh..I don’t know. All she told me is that she was taking me west but she didn't say where exactly.”

“Just west? Fuck. Okay. She didn’t tell you anythin’ else?” Tess wasn’t even looking at you. Her eyes were frantically searching the expanse of the room. “Well, I mean, one of them’s gotta have a map on them, right? Joel? Gwen? Can you fuckin’ help me?! Stop just standin’ around!” She snapped as she started searching for anything she could find on the deceased bodies.

“No! Tess..it’s over. We are goin’ home, alright? We are way over our heads, bit off more than we can chew. We’ll go back to the QZ and–”

“That’s not my fucking home!” Tess snapped. “I’m stayin.”

“What the hell do you mean you’re stayin’? What the hell has gotten into you?! You’re actin’ fuckin’ weird! Why won’t you even look at us?!” Joel spoke exasperatedly.

Your blood suddenly ran cold. You figured out why Tess’s behavior was so sporadic and uncharacteristic for her just as Ellie had figured it out too.

“Fuck. She’s infected.” Ellie spoke softly, the realization washing over her.

Joel looked at Tess then and felt his world suddenly begin to cave in, all at once. Just before he could open his mouth to speak, you were stepping in front of him, feeling your heart pounding out of your chest.

“No. Tell me it's not true, Tess. Fucking tell me its not true!” You pleaded with her, as Joel was already protectively pulling you back behind him.

“Show me. Show me your fuckin’ arm Tess.” He demanded and when she took a step towards him, he immediately took one back. He did his best to ignore the pained look that struck across Tess’s features.

Tess let out a sigh as she drew her hand up to the collar of her jacket and pulled the fabric back to reveal the fresh bite mark along the base of her neck, along her collar bone. You could see the veins of the fungus growing up her neck already. There was only a matter of time before she would be completely gone.

“Oops, right?” She said with a pained laugh, tears threatening to spill over.

You pushed Joel out of the way once more, you weren’t afraid of Tess. She wasn’t a monster. She was still human. She was still breathing, pumping blood through her veins. “You can’t fuckin’ die. You can’t! Tess…what about Bea? You–” Your own tears had threatened to spill over as you shakily grasped the collar of Tess’s jacket between your fingers. “This wasn’t supposed to happen to you!”

You could feel Joel grabbing your forearm, trying to yank you back. “Let me the fuck go!” You snapped, ripping your arm from his firm grasp.

Tess was hugging you, nearly knocking the air from your lungs. You could feel her entire body trembling as she held you. “You fuckin’ listen to me okay? I haven’t got much time. You protect him, okay? Please protect him Gwen. He’s going to need you more than ever now. No matter what happens, no matter what he says, please don’t leave him. Keep him safe. Please.” She whispered, squeezing you tightly.

“Tess, I–”

“Promise me Gwen. Promise me you’ll be there for him”

“I promise.” You whispered.

“Tell Bea that I love her, and I'm sorry.”

Tess released you from her grip and frantically pushed you away as she stumbled back.

She addressed Joel directly now, balling her hands into fists, to ease the trembling. “Ellie. Take your bandage off.” She asked with a shaky breath, walking over to the teen as she grabbed her forearm in a firm grip.

“This is real. Joel, she’s fucking real. Look at her arm!” She let go of Ellie’s arm and brought it down to her side. Her forearm was twitching, trembling as the cordyceps were quickly invading her nervous system.

“You get her to Bill and Franks. You load up on ammo, and you take her out West. You find Tommy and the fireflies.”

“No.”

“There is no time to fuckin’ argue with me! You take her to Bill and Franks. I’ve never asked anything of you Joel. Never asked you to feel a certain way about me.”

He went to open his mouth but she immediately cut him off.

“No. You shut the fuck up and listen to me ‘cause I don’t have time. This is your chance to do some fuckin’ good for once. To make up for all the fucked up shit we did. You keep her alive. You keep her safe. You hear me? You set everything right.”

“Tess, No. I can’t fuckin’ do that.”

“Yes you fuckin’ can Joel. Please say yes, Joel, please fucking say yes.” She pleaded with him, a stray tear rolling down her cheek .

“Oh fuck!” Ellie yelled as one of the presumed deceased bodies snarled, clawing at the ground.

Joel wasted no time to pull his gun out, aiming it at the infected and pulled the trigger, sending a bullet straight to its head as it collapsed down to the mossy floor.

fuck fuck fuck.

The tendrils of the cordycep fungus rose up between the deceased fingers, and it dawned upon you that the infected were more connected than you could possibly understand. The fungus was weaved intricately below the surface, webbed together in a firm structure.

You could hear the approaching snarls from outside the wooden doors.

They were coming.

Tess was already moving around you, using the butt end of Joel’s rifle to open up the large barrels of gasoline, spilling the flammable liquid onto the tile. She was working off pure adrenaline as she knocked over each barrel. She tossed a box filled with grenades onto the floor.

The realization that Joel was losing another person who was so important, so close to his heart, was crashing down on him. He could hear his blood pounding in his ears. His eyes and mind went blank as Tess approached him. “Joel…save who you can save.” She whispered her final plea to him. These were her last words spoken in the walking, living realm.

Joel understood, as he searched her eyes. He seared her memory into the deep cavern of his brain. He would never forget her and he refused to let her down.

In a flash he had grabbed Ellie’s arm in his one hand and yours in the other, immediately yanking both of you away from the immediate danger.

“No! We’re not leaving her! We can’t! Get off me, you fucker!” Ellie yelled as she clawed at him, trying to pull her arm from his grasp.

You stumbled after him, frantically looking over your shoulder at Tess for the very last time. She gave you a small smile, followed by a reassuring nod before her face was obstructed from your view as Joel pulled you and Ellie outside, to safety.

All you hoped for was that Tess went peacefully. That she didn’t die in fear. You hoped that she died with memories of you, Joel, and Bea. Tess deserved that. She deserved to die peacefully, painlessly. You loved her to her very last moments.

Moments after Joel pulled you and Ellie outside, there was a loud explosion of breaking glass, and bright flames. The sound had Joel throwing his body over you and Ellie protectively. You could hear the distant screams of the infected suffering in the hot flames, and billowing smoke. You hoped to god that Tess wasn’t one of those blood curdling screams.

Joel immediately had his gun raised, ready to shoot down any stray infected. There were none. They were all dead. Tess had sacrificed herself for your lives. She gave you a fighting chance and you’d never forget her bravery.

You brought your arm around Ellie’s shaken up frame, giving her a firm squeeze. You kept her close as you turned her body away from the destruction and death.

Joel had already walked away as he could feel tears begin to prick in the corner of his eyes. He quickly blinked them away as he slung his rifle over his shoulder.

The three of you were dead silent as you walked into the nearby woods. Your mind felt numb, and your heart was raw. Tess had so much more life ahead of her to live. She had friends, a lover, and a purpose. She was smart, witty, and brave. She fought for those she loved, till her dying breath.

Joel was crouched down alongside the river, far away from you and Ellie. He was reaching into the clear stream, picking up rocks below the surface and gently stacking them upon one another. He was creating a cairn in her memory. A silent memorial for her short life. He thought of her as he placed each stone on top of one another.

I’m sorry. I should have done more. I should have been quicker. I should have protected you. I let you down. I failed you.

Your approach towards Joel was hesitant. You had no idea how he was going to react to your attempt to comfort him. You knew he didn’t handle loss, of any kind, well. You refused to let him suffer alone. He had his moment where he could mourn in peace. You wouldn’t take that moment from him. He deserved it. You both did. Despite this, your heart pulled you towards him. You had to make sure he was okay. You needed each other more than ever now. Tess’s words echoed in your mind with each step you took. “No matter what happens, no matter what he says, please don’t leave him. Keep him safe. Please.”

Joel could hear your footsteps slowly approach. His back immediately tensed up at the sound of your boots crunching under stray twigs. His heart yearned for your touch, your comfort. His mind was scrambled. It screamed for him to shut you out. This was your fault, after all. You insisted they take the kid from the get-go. In his eyes, and his fragile mind, Tess was dead because of you.

He squeezed his eyes shut when he felt the warm expanse of your palm press between his shoulder blades. His breath trembled as he fought hard to not lean into your touch.

“Don’t fuckin’ touch me.” He hissed lowly, keeping himself facing the stream.

“Joel, Please..Don’t—”

“Don’t what? It’s your fuckin’ fault that Tess is dead.” He harshly whispered, clenching his jaw tightly as he let his toxic thoughts slip through his broken, cracked lips.

His words felt like a thousand knives stabbing you in the heart over, and over again. You took a shaky inhale, remembering Tess’s final request to you.

“You don’t mean that. You don’t mean that Joel. You’re upset..let me–”

He whipped around to face you, his eyes narrowed into slits as he rose to his feet, towering over you. “I fuckin’ mean every goddamn word. You insisted from the get-go that we take this fuckin’ kid. I told you it was a bad idea. See what happens when you try to be the fuckin’ hero, Gwen?”

You took a step back from him, feeling your own tears threatening to spill over. “Stop. Please fucking stop! I am not at fault for Tess’s death! Neither of us could have predicted this to happen Joel!”

“I fuckin’ told you that we should just take her back to the QZ! What do you do instead? You fight against me, tooth and fuckin’ nail! Every goddamn fuckin’ time. Why couldn’t you have just listened to me for once in your goddamn life!” He spat, taking two heavy steps towards you.

“Because Ellie is just a fuckin’ kid! She’s just a kid that is now OUR responsibility! Tess agreed that we shouldn’t take her back to the QZ! She agreed with me, Joel!”

He scoffed, shaking his head as he let out a deep chuckle.

“Do you fuckin’ hear yourself right now?! Fuckin’ take some accountability for your fuckin’ actions! Tess is dead because of you! Bea is never going to see her again, because you wanted to fuckin’ save this kid, this cargo! How does it feel, huh? Are you fuckin’ happy with yourself Gwen? Do you feel fuckin’ good inside right now baby?! TELL ME HOW IT FUCKIN’ FEELS!”

Joel’s booming voice rattled your skull, and pierced your heart. You physically felt yourself cowering away from him, shrinking in on yourself.

Ellie had heard Joel’s yell from where she was sitting against a nearby tree. She was up and running to your aid immediately. You watched as the teen shoved at Joel with her hands, pushing him back with rage filled in her tear brimmed eyes.

“Hey! Leave her alone, you fucker! Leave her alone! It’s not her fucking fault! LEAVE HER ALONE!” Ellie yelled as she shoved his chest as hard as she could.

Joel was grabbing the teens wrists in his calloused palms, immediately shoving her away.

“You fuckin’ stay out of this kid! This ain’t your fuckin’ business!” He felt his pulse drop when he heard the familiar click of your gun perched firmly between your shaking hands. The barrel was shakily aimed at him.

“LEAVE HER OUT OF THIS JOEL. YOU WANNA LET YOUR ANGER OUT ON ME? FINE. LEAVE ELLIE OUT OF THIS!” You yelled, tears streaming down your cheeks.

“You gonna fuckin’ shoot me?”

“If you lay your hands on her again, I won’t hesitate.”

“You’re breakin’ my fuckin’ heart baby.”He seethed between his gritted teeth.

“Gwen..” Ellie pleaded with you.

“It’s okay, kid. I will handle this, okay? Please just...just go sit down. Please.” You whispered, giving the teen a reassuring nod that everything would be okay. Joel would never hurt you. He would never dare.

Ellie looked between you, and the brooding man before she reluctantly nodded, walking away.

Your gun was still aimed at your lover as your tears continued to fall. “How fucking dare you speak to me like this Joel. What the fuck is wrong with you?!? How dare you speak to Ellie like that! She has done NOTHING to you, Joel!”

He took a few menacing steps towards you, feeling the barrel of your gun pressed firmly against the cavern of his chest. Your lower lip was trembling, your eyes glassy with tears as you looked up at him.

“You gonna pull that fuckin’ trigger baby? You gonna pump me full of lead?”

“You know I can’t Joel. You know I fuckin’ can’t.” You whispered shakily.

“Just like you can’t fuckin’ admit that you’re the reason Tess is dead. Can’t own up to your fuckin’ actions to save your life.”

“Please stop Joel. Please. I’m begging you to please fucking stop. You’re hurting me. You’re fucking hurting me!” You yelled. Your tone was raw, heartbroken, beaten.

“Who are you fuckin’ shedding those tears for, huh?! You shedding those tears for Tess? She hated you! You know she fuckin’ hated you with every fibre in her fuckin’ being! You don’t get to cry for her! She meant NOTHING to you. Don’t stand there and act like she did! You don’t get to weep and feel sorry for YOURSELF!”

The barrel of your gun was pushing so deep into his chest now. Surely there would be a bruise of some sort forming but it was clear he didn’t give a fuck about that. Not even in the slightest. He felt his heart screaming at him to stop but it was too late. The words were spoken and they were etched deep into your own heart. Joel had gone and done the unforgivable.

“Fuck You. You don’t get to stand there and tell me how I'm allowed to feel Joel! She was my fucking FRIEND too! We had our differences, and we overcame them! I fucking loved her and YOU don’t get to take that away from me! YOU DON’T HAVE THE POWER TO TELL ME HOW I CAN AND CAN’T FEEL!”

Joel’s breaths were coming out in heavy puffs, fanning your face as you watched his nostrils flare, and his fists clenched tightly at his sides. Deep down, he knew this wasn’t an argument to win. He was just devastated that he lost someone so close to him. He never learned how to handle loss well, his old habits, and toxic feelings welcomed him in with soft whispers, and warm touches.

This was not your Joel.

“Gwen…” He whispered.

“No. Fuck you. You don’t get to say all that, speak to me that way, and take it all back. You don’t get to fuckin’ do that Joel.”

“Baby, I’m sorry I didn’t–”

“NO.”

“Gwen. You know I didn’t mean it..I lashed out, but I didn’t mean any of it! I got you, you got me, Always. Remember? I’m so sorry I–”

As soon as he was reaching out for you, you harshly pushed him away, pressing the barrel of the gun further into his chest.

“You’ll never fucking touch me again Joel. Never.” You whispered.

You removed the barrel of the gun from his chest, pointing it upwards towards the sky, before you pulled the trigger.

The deafening sound of the bullet being released and cracking through the cool air had him flinching.

You wanted him to know that you could have pulled the trigger on him. You loved that man too much to hurt him. You could never.

“Stay the fuck away from me. Don’t you dare come near me.” You seethed, tucking your gun back into the holster around your waist before you turned on your heel, and walked away from him.

Joel was left standing near the rivers edge, watching as you walked far, far away from him.

‘Cause do I love you..Oh, I do..and I'm going to ‘til I'm gone…’

Tag list:

@chaotic-mystery @peterhollandkait @yuly @soft-cryptids @dinsdjrn @myrealmofchaos @itskenziebb @lovers-liability @korynnekorynne @ems-alexandra @kirsteng42 @casssiopeia @novemberrain-writes @goodwithcheese @loquaciousferret @sarahhxx03 @777-wonders @bearsbeetsbeskar @beskarandblasters @dinsdjrn @bonglorddaryl @mirasantidotes @luvrking @finnsbubblegum @pedrostories

[harrywavycurly]

Ohhh I’ve missed my SC babies!!! I’m ready for all the gossip with Kathy are her and Niall official?👀🩷🩷

Hiii babes!! I missed them too!! I hope you enjoy this convo it’s gets very juicy 😂💖

-find all things Southern Comfort here✨

A/N: You want to get the details on how Kathy and Niall are doing but she wants an update on how Harry is handling you, enjoy✨

“Oh I like that shirt Kat where’d you get it? I feel like my honey would really like it.” “I’ll have to ask my boyfriend where he got it…” “you’re what now?” “My boyfriend…Niall Horan is my boyfriend and this is his shirt.” “Holy shit sticks.” “You sound so country when you say things like that…I love it.” “Oh hush your face…when the hell did this happen? Didn’t you two just go on your first date a few weeks ago?” “What can I say? The man knows what he wants and he wants me.” “I don’t blame him one itty bit you are a catch…did he do it all romantic like? Has he met Teddy?” “He hasn’t met Teddy yet I’m waiting till Niall has more than a few sporadic weeks off so Teddy doesn’t get used to him being around and then wonder where he’s at all of a sudden when he has to up and leave…” “that’s smart…his tour ends soon so maybe that will be a good time for them to meet?…but tell me how did he ask?” “Honestly it wasn’t anything like how Harry did it…he just looked at me while at dinner and said hey…I like you a lot…would you fancy being my girlfriend? And I said sure sounds fun.” “Have y’all smooched?” “I’ll tell you all about our smooching and uh…other stuff if you tell me how that lanky man of your has been handling you ever since you had that chat with him..” “Oh well…he’s been way more hands on-” “where on your body have his hands been?” “Uh everywhere…he has been giving me more smacks oh and he did pull my hair the other night.” “Did you like it? Has he grabbed your throat yet?” “Oh loved it and actually…yes yes he has-” “thank god he’s finally putting those hands to good use.” “Now tell me about my puddin pop…I just have a feeling he knows what he’s doing.” “I got that feeling too the moment he picked me up for our first date…he was pulling out of the driveway and why is it so attractive when men do that thing where they have one hand on the wheel and the other on your headrest while looking backwards?” “It is so hot isn’t it? My sugar doesn’t put his hand on the headrest though he keeps his hand on my thigh and one of the wheel.” “Jesus….” “I know…it’s enough to make you wanna just plop your face in their lap.” “You’re a freak and I love it…but yes…I agree.” “So..y’all done the naked two step already?” “We have…and honestly…no complaints here…he is..amazing and I don’t know if it’s the accent or his actual dirty talk but god the mouth on that man-” “It’s a bit of both…I think the accent helps their dirty talk sound better because if some other man said some of the whackadodle things my sugar plum says without the accent I’d laugh in their face and be so turned off.” “Exactly! Yes their accent sometimes saves them…can I ask you something?” “Sure.” “You love Harry don’t you?” “I do..yeah and I just know he’s choking on those three little words and wants to say them so badly but you know how he is…he’s an over thinker so…I might have to say them first.” “I think you might…” “I need more wine…”

[thelarriefics]

ONLINE DATING FIC REC: Below you will find fics where Harry and Louis meet online in some way.

📖 Falling In Love Through The Phone by @larryfanficwriter98 (63k)

Name: Louis Tomlinson Age: 23 Commitment: Committed/Looking For Someone To Marry Interests: Skiing, Surfing, Writing, Reading, Singing, Playing Guitar, Football, Traveling, Watching Movies, Musicals Dislikes: Hiking, Cats, Cycling, Running, Yoga, Avocados, Cooking, Horror Films, The Vegan Craze, Trendy Shit Name: Harold Stones Age: 21 Commitment: Committed/Looking For Someone To Marry Interests: Singing, Dancing, Baking, Cooking, Travelling, Reading, Swimming, Surfing, Skiing, Snowboarding, Canoeing, Musicals, Films, Photography, Writing, Playing Guitar, Volunteering Dislikes: Horror Films, Spiders, Mountain Climbing, Skydiving, Archery, Paragliding, Mountain Bungee Jump, Volcano Boarding, Heights, Roller-coasters

📖 We Don't Need No Piece of Paper (From the City Clerk) by @2tiedships2 (26k)

Harry sat on his bed and stared at the pile of luggage by the door. This was really happening. He was being shipped off to America to get married. In a matter of months, he would be bonded to an alpha his father had chosen for him. Someone that Harry knew nothing about. Not even his name.

📖 He Was a Different League (When I Was Nothing Much) by @afangirlfantasy (21k)

Sick of being alone, Marcel is forced (by Niall) to join an online dating app. The idea is well and all, except for the inconvenient fact that he hasn’t moved on from his childhood sweetheart - Louis. If only Marcel could learn to let go, he might actually be able to love again. Or, an AU where finding that 'someone new' actually leads to finding that 'someone old,' and Marcel is painfully oblivious.

📖 you don't have to play the part  by @lookslikefairytale (16k)

or the one where Harry is Britain's new pop sensation, Louis is R&B star Zayn's sassy social media manager and things get confusing.

📖 Found My Missing Piece by @styleandsin (16k)

Louis and Harry are both fashion bloggers. Louis' been following Harry for years. Harry and his blog really gave him the confidence and the push to make his own. His sister and best friend have been making fun of his silly little crush on him ever since. But that's all it is, a silly, harmless crush because there is no way Harry knows who he is. Or does he?

📖 room for your love underneath this tree by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed (11k)

Because Harry Styles is -- he’s next level kind of famous. Louis has two million subscribers on his YouTube, but Harry has eighteen times as many followers on his Twitter alone. He’s had three number one hits in the last year, and his last album had charted at the top spot for a record breaking 27 weeks. He’s a singer, actor and philanthropist, and there is no way in hell that Louis can get him to come meet Daisy for Christmas. So of course he laughs, even if it’s a little bit breathless, and nods at her. “One Harry Styles for Christmas, coming right up.”

📖 Lately You've Been On My Mind  by @lululawrence (9k)

Or five times Louis makes reaction videos to Harry's performances and songs, and the one time they actually meet.

📖 You're Invited by @becomeawendybird (8k)

Harry loves the Christmas season, but she does not love her office Christmas party. Every year it's the same old story, all of her male coworkers that she thought were nice, normal guys during the year turn on a dime and won't stop hitting on her. She backs herself into a corner when she accidentally blurts out that she can't attend the party with any of them because she's bringing her girlfriend. One problem: she doesn't have a girlfriend.

📖 Nailed By Louis by @haztobegood (6k)

It had started as a joke, just two months earlier. Louis had tried to make recipe from HarrySizzles Instagram account. It looked doable: no strange ingredients, no scary kitchen machinery. Just a simple layered lettuce salad. The result had been catastrophic. His friends had laughed so hard at the disgusting appearance of his salad, and after a few drinks, Louis had been convinced to start his own Instagram to track his food failures.

📖 Two nightstands by @louisthiccsexyglitteryass (2k)

When Niall dares Harry to match with the first guy on Tinder, he does not expect to find Louis Tomlinson. But he did.

📖 Beat the Odds Together by @ireallysawanangel (2k)

Harry and Louis are both YouTubers who met and starting dating through YouTube. One morning Harry wakes up to a surprise video from Louis.

📖 100ft Away by @jaerie (2k)

Harry opens Grindr for a hookup and ends up with more than he bargained for. It all works out in the end.

[louiswilliamtomlinsons]

hi, it’s been three days since i decided to take a break. to say i miss this place is an understatement, after all this is the community where i feel the safest and happiest. i’ve been thinking a lot, and maybe this isn’t the time to say everything i want to say, and god knows i can misspeak and say the wrong things, but i keep thinking and thinking and thinking and i have to let this out or else i’ll spiral.

it’s no secret i didn’t like liam’s actions in the past couple of months, with everything coming to a head when maya opened up about her troubled relationship with him. i was very angry and upset, and though i still believe the criticism was valid, i said things i shouldn’t have. i placed myself in a position of morality, of being better than others, because i criticized liam. in the process i ended up hurting people. these are things i will always regret. i’m so deeply sorry to those i hurt with my words. i wish i could take them back, but i can’t, so i will live with the consequences of them.

i want to make it 100% clear, i never, ever wished for things to end the way they did. i’ve always believed in accountability and working toward becoming a better person, and i will always believe it’s possible to do so. in my mind, i couldn’t support liam anymore, but i hoped he would seek help, heal and become the best version of himself. knowing that will never happen hurts beyond belief.

my biggest regret is being too antagonistic toward him. to not have given him more grace as he struggled with addiction. i know firsthand how addiction can destroy even the kindest, most wonderful people. i was blinded by so much anger that i couldn’t see beyond it. i’m by no means justifying his actions, and i still believe that holding him accountable was the right thing to do, because it came from a place of wanting him to become better, but now, maybe too late, i realize situations like these aren’t always black or white.

yesterday, i was scrolling through my liam tag. back then i used nicknames for each of the guys. louis was solecito, harry was lunita, zayn was principito, niall was amorcito, and liam, he was coranzoncito, little heart. i never got around to change it, so some of the posts i reblogged about liam were still tagged as corazoncito. seeing it made me break down again. a reminder of the love i once held for him. the one i forgot. he was my little heart.

navigating all of these complicated feelings of grief has been hard. i felt like i didn’t have any right to mourn him. hell, i’ve had anons telling me i was a horrible person for mourning an abuser, and at the same time a hypocrite for even daring to mourn him, seeing as i didn’t like him anymore. but fuck it, fuck it all, all these feelings i have are real. i won’t and can’t let anyone dictate how i feel, and i feel a profound sadness and pain over his death. i will mourn him. i will let myself feel all of it. the sadness, the pain, the anger, the confusion, all of it.

liam, you weren’t perfect, but none of us are. i want to remember you for everything you were, the good and the bad. i want to remember you not as liam payne™, but as liam, the human. the one that made mistakes but also brought so much joy. the one who hurt people but also brought comfort to people. the one who touched the hearts and souls of many people. i wish things had ended differently. i wish you had a chance to heal. i hope wherever you are you’ve found peace.

please take care of and be gentle toward each other, i love you guys.

[venusjaynie]

harry styles social media au!

harry styles x fem!horan!reader

summary: fans have speculated for years that harry has some kind of secret relationship with niall horan's little sister that he hasn't disclosed to the public. little do they know...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yourinstagram

Liked by harrystyles, niallhoran, annetwist and others.

yourinstagram: i couldn't want you anymore :)

View comments.

hellolovers: HARRY WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

↳ slayrry: STOP WHY IS ANNE HERE TOO

harrystyles

Liked by yourinstagram, harryscherries, lloyddddddddddddddddd and others.

harrystyles: Kiss in the kitchen like it's a dance floor. 🤍

View comments.

yourinstagram: nice kitchen x

↳ harrystyles: it's not mine ;)

harriesberries: THERES NO WAY

↳ harryscherries: THE MATCHING LYRICS?? HELLO??

↳ hellolovers: surely it's @yourinstagrams kitchen

↳ harriesberries: it HAS to be

yourinstagram

Liked by niallhoran, lloyddddddddddddddddd, harrystyles and others.

yourinstagram: shit quality, perfect right angle.

View comments.

harrystyles: I thought you had a better view than this? Why is it so zoomed in?

↳ yourinstagram: one of your doting fans sent me this and i zoomed it in even further :)

stylan: im sorry why is she so funny

↳ harriesberries: have we decided that their couple name is stylan??

↳ stylan: absolutely.

niallhoran: Did you measure the angle with a protractor?

↳ yourinstagram: of course i did

harriesberries

Liked by stylans, harryupdates, hslotupdates, and others.

harriesberries: harry leaving rumoured girlfriend @/yourinstagram's (supposed) LA apartment building yesterday!

View comments.

harryupdates: stop i love them sm

slayrry: guys i get that we want them to be together and stuff but maybe we shouldnt repost pap pics? we should probs just leave their relationship be and let them go about telling people.

↳ hslotupdates: i agree

harrystyles

Liked by harryupdates, yourinstagram, harriesberries and others.

harrystyles: Love on Tour. Hamburg, Germany.

View comments.

yourinstagram: best. show. ever.

↳ harrystyles: I'm glad you were there :)

harriesberries: SURELY NOT

↳ harrysharries: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

annetwist: Loved every minute of the show Harry! ❤️

↳ yourinstagram: so glad you flew out with me anne 🫶🫶

↳ harriesberries: HUH

yourinstagram

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yourinstagram: in my lover era xx

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harrystyles: Love you

↳ yourinstagram: hi lover 🩷

gemmastyles: cuties

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ynhorannnn: i love them so much it hurts.

↳ harriesberries: real.

harrystyles

Liked by yourinstagram, gemmstyles, annetwist and others.

harrystyles: I hear the cool kids call this a soft launch.

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yourinstagram: imagine getting princess treatment like that. that is one lucky girl!

↳ harrystyles: She really is. Good thing I literally live to give her the princess treatment she deserves.

niallhoran: You'll be getting the "what are your intentions" talk this Christmas, Mr Styles.

↳ yourinstagram: niall stop embarrassing me 😭

↳ nialhoran: it's my job kid.

↳ hellolovers: best. sibling. duo. ever.

yourinstagram

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yourinstagram: pls go buy some pleasing merch so harry can buy me a big fat engagement ring (im kidding i promise. you should buy pleasing stuff cause it's actually really cute (like my boyfriend))

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harrystyles: Maybe I've already bought that "big fat engagement ring"

↳ yourinstagram: WHAT THE FUCK STOP IT NOW

↳ harriesberries: STOP SHUT THE FUCK UP WHAT THE ANBIFDDJERIGFBHEWNFOSHFVGUDRBNGL

↳ stylan: REAL WHAT THE HELL OH MY

ynfan2004: yn says buy pleasing so im gonna go buy some pleasing

Liked by yourinstagram.

harrystyles

Liked by yourinstagram, harriescherrries, harryupdates and others.

harrystyles: Back at it ;)

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yourinstagram: woahhhh who's this cutie patootie infront of me

↳ harrystyles: You sure you aren't looking in a mirror?

↳ yourinstagram: stop making me blush mr styles

↳ harrystyles: No can do Mrs (soon-to-be) Styles

↳ yourinstagram: you're sounding awfully confident there sweetheart

↳ harriesberries: it feels like im reading their texts