#hehe not me back to using tumblr as my diary

[wanderingpages]

Not my cousin who I haven’t spoken to in months — maybe even years—just texted me to ask if she could borrow my shoes for her “something borrowed” at her wedding

[larsbarsart]

Hehe Hat game go brrrrr

Also self insert :3

Lars!! Or also Scarf Teen/Adult!

Their scarf is their equivalent to HK's Hat!

Bio older sibling to Hat Kid and just. Adopted Bow Kid and Timmy as siblings along the way to in-game events

Edit: Tumblr, how did you fuck this up? Why did you move my images??? Anyways I fixed it, all is as it should be.

More Info-Dumping below cut :]

So! I don't really know how Lars and Hat Kid (Harriet, Harry, or just Hat or Hattie in this AU) ended up travelling space but something happened because here they are

During their explorations of planets, they found Bow, a young orphan living on the streets of her hometown, and Timmy, a boy with a not so great home life (understatement).

Their spaceship is basically the same, with another couple of rooms.

Hattie's room, now shared with Bow, is the same but with more furniture and decoration for the latter kid. Hat still has her lil' diary hideout because sometimes the girl just needs some space to be on her own. Lars is the only person on the ship allowed in with permission

Timmy's room is in the basement, as an area renovated and repurposed to be a room. Think the room with the Alpine Skyline Warp Telescope. Harry did argue at first, but was eventually persuaded in the end. I'm not gonna explain, that'll have me writing an entire scene

Lars's room is the attic, where the Finale Warp Telescope is. They repurposed the attic in the first year or so of living on the ship so that they could have their own room.

Anyways, let's go onto the game events!

It all starts relatively the same, the kids wake up, Lars sleeping through the first alarm. Timmy and Hat, knowing how to handle the ship on their own, get started for travelling through the day when, Uh Oh! Mafia!

A couple of five minute alarms later.

Due to damages on the ship, the first couple of Time Pieces on the ship don't warp the kids back to the ship, but once Lars fixes it (and the hole in the window) it works again. After some talking, they start a plan:

Timmy, being a bit more tech oriented and avoidant of most conflicts, will stay on the ship to locate the Time Pieces while the other three track down and retrieve them, Tim relaying to them through earpieces and walkie talkie things. Mustache Girl still goes on the ship to plan Mafia Takedown with the kids, but Lars, back on Earth, remains unaware of their adventure until last second. ("Great. A kid working against us to gather the Time Pieces. Just what we needed.")

After that fiasco, the girls aren't allowed outside of Lars's sight when on field.

Which, of course is quickly disobeyed when Lars loses them at Dead Bird Studio, finding them again while DJ Grooves and the Conductor are roping Bow and Harry respectively into their movies

After a bit of persuading (the girls to Lars) and threatening (Lars to the directors) the girls are allowed to help the birds while their mostly legal guardian checks out Subcon Forest.

If you've played/watched the game, you can guess how that turns out

Anyways, a couple more things I wanna point out is, in my mind, the kids go on the cruise while Lars looks around Nyakuza Metro ("I feel safer leaving yall on a boat than wandering around a bunch of speeding vehicles"). That leaves them all to got around the Skylines together. Family Fun!

Anyways, that's about all I've got on that. Idk if I'll make more posts about this, but I just wanted to get all of my thoughts out in text

[animezpsyche]

An Anime-Mental-Health-Themed Blog

Hey guys!

My name is Fuegio, and here's some information about me!

Age: 23

Pronouns: he/him

Identity: Transgender Man

Birthday: November 28, 2001

Nationality: Filipino

Passion: Anime

Advocacy: Mental health Awareness

Purpose in Life: To sow seeds of change; to change the world

(below is my Original Character, Fuegio, named after me! He's the mascot of AnimezPsyche. I had the artwork made in FIVERR since idk how to digitally draw yet hehe)

Also here in my blog, you can find my posts that are anime analyses with this: #analysis

And you can find anime guideposts with: #guide.

What You can expect from me:

The Anime-Lover

I really love anime, and I've loved watching anime since I was in elementary school / since I was a kid! :D

I'd like to share my thoughts and insights on anime through this Tumblr blog.

This is going to be like an online diary for me, but specifically for anime.

My favorite anime(s) are: My Hero Academia, Wind Breaker, Moriarty the Patriot, and Demon Slayer.

The Mental Health Advocate

A quick gist on my background: I suffer from Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Gender Dysphoria, and C-PTSD.

But despite those diagnoses, I've found my way back into light and peace through an amazing (or should I say ANIME-zing) journey. And I want something similar for everyone, because everyone deserves love, patience, kindness, and care.

A lot of inspiration I got from anime. A lot of foundations built were from anime.

And in this blog, I am not just going to talk about anime and random thoughts (though some posts will be like that), but I will mainly add the twist of talking about mental health with anime!

With that,

I would like to thank you all in advance for your future support and love!

I really plan to build a community that's a safe space for many anime fans. I hope we can all make this dream of mine come true! <3

I am still preparing my YouTube Channel for video content similar to the theme of this blog. But you can subscribe already here:

By the way,

Why don't we get to know one another better? :DD

Just for fun, I want to ask:

Depending on your answers, I could make more posts on that anime! I would also love to watch new anime not in the choices above and see what I could learn from them and you all!

Ko-fi donations

If you enjoy my posts, or just love what I'm doing like spreading mental health through anime, I'd be super grateful if you'd consider buying me a coffee (or two)!! ☕️☕️ :D

Every little bit helps me create more anime-mental health-inspired content!

Your support means the world to me, and it allows me to keep doing what I love!

Thank you so much for being a part of this ANIMEZING journey with me! Whether you can donate, reblog, or share the link, it all helps!

Click the link below to donate:

ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU!

- Fuegio

[anakinskywalkerog]

omg no way tumblr never bothered to tell me you replied. plus why is nothing showing up in my following feed??? a bone to pick for next time ig

ahaha i missed this too you're so good with advice! ❤ and thank you hehe i have been informed the new pfp it a character calld lust from an anime called fullmetal alchemist, but i just like the aesthetic

it really is and thank youuuuu! im sure it will! *sends ✨good luck✨*

hmm i dont wanna obsess over han at all, because first of all, ELI! that would be unfair. and han is sort of crazy, anyways. i am listening to i can see you from speak now tv but i shouldnt because it reminds me of han. it also reminds me of anakin. very anakincore track. i cant help it though, i can see you is so good, although it gives more of a reputation vibe than speak now tbh. still love it anyways and thank mother taylor for it. are you enjoying speak now tv? what's your favourite track? i think im enjoying mine, mean and back to december, but everything is ofc v nice! wish we had a mine pop mix tv and some more beat to enchanted, but its perfect as it is!

yess "there will be plenty more guys 😂 trust me." that's exactly what i thought, too! like, he's here now, but someday there's going to be someone else EXACTLY like that. although it might not be so bad if i did make a decision influenced by him because he and i have a similar objective - physics/engineering degree at oxford/cambridge so its a win-win no matter which way i go ig. plus we're academic rivals. competition is the norm for us. but about intrigue with han...

"oh? whos your friend? (i asked han to pose for one of my snaps hehe) is this friend good-looking?"

... dude? like, WHAT? that sounds like pretty blatant flirting to me.

but lets not forget that once we were in the corridor and bro leaned in super close (keep in mind this was months ago and this was in the middle of like 15 other people anyways) and i leaned away out of reflex 😂 i think he looked at me later with a very patronizingly disappointed

kinda expression. i think that was a test, and i failed miserably but thats fine 💀

eli really is we even have loads of similar interests!

yw and sameee! it is hehe she even send me memes and is a pedro pascal stan (as she should. pedro pascal is an icon. love him) ! very happy with that

oh no, is everything okay? can i do anything to help? if it helps, my life is only peaceful because i am in isolation from all friends, hehe i need time to regenerate. i am an ambivert at heart. my extrovert meter needs to recharge lmaooo

also, a part of me wonders if cranberry is mad at me? basically, he aksed me to write a steamy story abt him and han (thyre best friends) and didnt want his gf to find out incase she thought he was weird (bro she already does. shes ur gf. she knows what weird she signed up for smh)

anyways i made a small oopsie. i asked some people to critique it for me, and one of those poeple may have been the girl from my diary, whos friends with cranberry's gf, and who previously told machete i liked him when i wanted it to be a scret and explicitly told her so, and the one who i knew cannot be trusted with secrets because she will tell someone and lie about it 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

anyways cranberry was annoyed (and understandably so.) he said his gf was mad at him (impossible - if she was, shed be mad at ME first cos thats how women are. better than revenge is living proof. but she isnt! ) and i get it, but then people stop being mad, right? i mean, ive been really mad at him too, for a variety of reasons. i forgave him though and he didnt even apologize like i did! but he seemed normal at prom perhaps a bit icy? a guy friend told me im overthinkinngit and while he may have been annoyed it doesnt mean hd stop being friends with me or anything, and that he definitely wouldnt stay mad because its not a big deal.

but i texted him cranberry with a pretty obvious joke and he didnt even find it funny??? like thats HIS sort of joke??? how does he ot find that funny??? my friend says he must be mad then, but says theres the chance he just didnt find it funny?

like, i get it, but i want to make amends! and i wont even see cranberry in person so i can never tell. but if he was mad, he wouldve blocked me, or left me on delivered, or just opened. but he even sees my stories n stuff!

plus his friends would be mad if something happened. like guys are super gangy like that. but his friends are not mad at all, like han and this other guy are totally normal and no one sad that. even when han brought it up the day after the whole thing, he didnt imply it was serious and just dropped it after joking around abt it.

my friend did say if i was friends with cranberrys friends, it doesnt mean they have to be mad, but what if cranberry and his gf broke up over something as stupid as a joke???? and it was my fault??? i would feel awful and i cant even tell or say sorry.

nor can i ask han over text cos then hed tell cranberry and itd be weird. and i cant ask eli cos i dont want to set a bad rep.

he texted about it and i delved into a tiny argument he said its fine but "just think more next time". i think he and han both know i didnt mean for this to happen and that it was a genuine accident, but people gte hurt over things even if they know it wasnt meant to hurt them. shoulve said no is proof of this.

but they did send me a video of them reading the story together [cranberry and his friends, it was han who filmed (i did ask them to film their reaction)] and cranberry was cracking up as he read it! if he was mad he wouldve abandoned it. but they sill seemed to love it. surely if cranberry was mad at me, then that wouldnt have happened?

jesus christ, thats LONG. i apologize for troubling you, i didnt think itd get this long! its just been on my mind :( ironically it happened yesterday just after i was so happy. ugh. boys are awful

yes haha thank youuu :) if you're okay with my constant somewhat accidental drama dumps, i definitely will :D

love you and stay safe x

hi sythe so sorry it took me so long to respond to this!

I hope all is well with Eli. but GIRL have I been listening to “I Can See You” sooooo much it’s literally the delulu girl anthem! I love it. having a little crush on Han just adds some spice!! there’s nothing wrong with a little seasoning to an otherwise boring existence 😂

I am okay 🩵 just really been struggling with my OCD lately. I hope it gets better soon.

no fuckinf WAY cranberry asked you to write a steamy story!!? girl that is NOT platonic. what are these men doing out here 😂😂😂😂 but I agree, very unlikely that he is mad at you

I love the drama dumps, I wish we could vent together for real because I have been ALL over the place with my drama lately 😅 but it’s fine, it adds the comedy. i’m watching my own life like a work of absurdism. I would absolutely recommend that strategy.

[lilygracies]

My first-day writing diary

First, I would say that I decided to create a Tumblr account because I want to record my journey as a normal college student together with finding someone to help me with my writing skills on this platform. This is the place where I used to share my experiences, what I have faced throughout the day, and the whole 4 years of college or you can just simply think that you are reading a silly diary of a Vietnamese girl..hehe... Then give me some feedback about my writing... I'm willing to receive your feedback. Right now, I'm gonna tell you about my 1st day as an English tutor for sixth-grader.

I woke up late in the morning at 7A.M. Then as normal, I grab my phone and surfed Facebook. In Vietnam, we usually do it, that's why the old generation always calls us "The lazy Gen Z". In ancient English, they will call this "Dysania" which is used to describe someone that doesn't want to get out of his/her bed in the morning. I know this is a bad habit but I'm trying to get rid of it recently. At 9AM, I used my motorbike to go to my student's house. His name is Hai. Unfortunately, Hai is busy in his piano class... well actually, I was misheard the day for tutoring him. It was on Thursday but I mistook it for Saturday.... I was waiting for so long that his parent asked Hai's friend to come and study for him instead. The girl is the same age as Hai. She is so elegant, charming, and cute. Because I was prepare my lesson plan carefully and neatly, I was so confident to tutoring her... we learn about the Solar system, doing quizzes and game..that was just so Amazing...We talk to each other and she told me that her sister was studying in Finland at Aalto University in Espoo. I thought her family is rich and the special thing about her family is they love to study, discover new things, and go outside the world. That is what I wish my family could think about. My family is in the countryside of Vietnam. My parents are both farmers so they did not encourage me to go to university. They just want me to go to Japan or somewhere in the world to work as a manual worker for earning money. But I know I love studying, seeing my sister at college, a wonderful horizon for a study that I never stop dreaming about made me suffer from stress for a long time. My parent says that going to university cost so much money and they can't afford it. At that time, I was crying a lot, I won't tell anybody and stop talking to my parents..... But one day, I don't know why I made a call for my uncle and convince him to talk to my parents to persuade them to allow me to go to college. Then he agrees and there you go... I'm here as a college student. Sometimes, thinking back about that interval, I criticized my parents for that a lot. But it was just not the case right now. I think I've made some small changes recently, reading books (my favorite one is Atomic habits by Jame Clears), learning IELTS, preparing lesson plan and enjoy the world, working in Ho Chi Minh city is a different life from the countryside. I love Ho Chi Minh city sometimes charming, sometimes appealing and dynamic but also lonely. This place give me the opportunity to discover myself, and teach me how to be mature and better day by day even with some stumbling blocks (or a-knock- out I thought). ... I will try 200% effort not for anybody but just for myself... I promise, this is my commitment...

Back to the story of tutoring, when Hai's sister came home after her Pre-IELTS class, she want to learn IPA so I teach her and Hai's friend at the same time. I also play Dan Hauer Video On Youtube for them to learn English and I was so surprised that they like that a lot. Hai's sister is 14 years old but she is so intelligent, she has learned Chinese, piano, extra-math-class, swimming, martial art, etc. I discovered that she like reading books and learning Chinese like me so I will have to teach her these fields as her mother asked me to do.....(sigh...). At 11 AM, the class finish but unfortunately, it rained outside a lot... I went to the dorm in my motorbike with a soggy look.. But I'm still happy... I know I love teaching and I'm enjoying it...

Ho Chi Minh City, Sat 8th July 2023

--Lily Gracies--

[kacchanbaby]

wait long-ish vent p2,,

I sawwww smthnnn and it made me feel yuckyyy :c it has nothing to do with me and usually this kinda thing doesn't make me feel bad!!! but today, yeah.. felt grrr

someone was like,, i know more about this one thing (that m really heavily attached too) better than everyone else actually, I'm the #1 enthusiast!!!" and idunno why I felt so upset :T okay to be fair, I was feeling kinda little when I saw but grrr

dunno. ijusy felt yucky bout it,, n my brain went everywhere, starting 2 negatively spiral ab it ans yeah... waaa don't like feeling indirectly invalidated T^T m rlly sensitive about it, it seems..

it's been kinda rare feeling jealous ab that one thing,, that's more of Kat's thing hehe... i just felt really mad, like i was gonna cry n kick n throw everything around me till I didn't feel bad about it, but I just stepped away n distracted myself n I eventually forgot about it🤭 I just wanted to write this down somewhere!

and I went back n looked at it again n now I don't feel the same way ab it! tumblr is becoming my silly little diary atp giggless..

ON A NOTHER UNRELATED NOTE: aaaaAAAAAA im being grhehehrhehehhrgerrrer /neg

okay wait firstly, I did what I was supposed to today! m doing good on that rn,, just have 2 stick to it :3 I will stick to it!!!! n tmmrow I will do the rest. for sure.. it's for the best for me, mhmm

but anyways BESIDES THAT. I KEEP SELF SABOTAGING... in somanyways m not doing it on purpose LIKE WILLINGLY. itkust keeps ughhhdhdhdh💥💥💥 ugh :( I'm not trying to do on purpose.ijust feel yucky n isolate cuz used to it n it feels safe, like I have to do it to start all over again and be new and better, but :(( don't think that's ever rlly worked out for me. n I don't like being aloneeeee!! i keep losing ppllll n it's myfault!!! not alll the time, but still. grrr idk :( jus don't rlly feel secure n safe kinda,, still feel really yucky in bad headspace a bit but... aaaa💥 forcing myself not to be as much as I can ALSO OMG I LEARNED QUBO'S NOT A TV CHANNEL ANYMORE?!?!! m so heartbroken...... damn.

ALSO UGHH >:( how do u not remember the things I dont like... or bother to even ask me!!! that sucks so bad!!!! we're related!!! I remember what YOU don't like but when it comes to me >:/ hurts. m literally the only one here, you know everything about him but whn it comes to me... ugh. I shouldn't even be getting my hopes up for u anyways... feels a little mean to say tht, but at the same time, m just over it. n I have to live with him too. mommy n daddy would NOT do this to me... free me NEOWWW!!!!! >:( iwammt them :( having source memories make me really sad.

i want mommyyy :'{ n daddy BOTH OF THEM!!!! aomuch better. n izuku too,, miss zuku lots. I hate this. it'll never be the same

dum stupid face I'LL BITE YOU!!!! n giv kiss😞 imiss my daddy.. irlly do. maybe m just better off bymyself? no n yes.. Mm :(

[tunasundays]

Sunday April 7

hehe hi,

I recently rewatched Mtvs Awkward and remembered how much I loved having a little blog when I was 13. I got lonely tonight and had so many thoughts and I was distraught when I have no one to throw my thoughts at. So here I am typing to the void of the internet. This little blog is just gonna be a collection of thoughts classic diary style! I just wanna be able to post little entries of the different thoughts. I know it must be somewhat of a common experience for us ex Tumblr girlies that miss that random connection with people you don't know that have the same interest as you. I also just have so many fun sexy stories to tell and no one to tell them too.

lets dive in

starting with music

I am listening to The Last Dinner Party and I just am feeling the energy I felt when I watched YellowJackets. Is this a shared experience??? dying to know.I just listened to the Prelude to Ecstasy I really enjoyed it and will have more thoughts once I give it a second listen through. I yearn to have friends who watch and listen to the exact things I listen to. I want to be able to discuss these things! -- Chappell Roan is my everything and I just can not stop listening to her. I adore what she has to offer to the world of pop.-- I just now realized how much Luke Bryan I listened to in my first country phase. Like DAmn this man had a lot of bangers on the Crash My Party Album.

Lets talk tv bitches

the invincible season final had me gagged. I couldn't speak and that is rare for me. I am a chatter box but I did not have words! wow! from what I have been reading on twitter I should read the comic for all the extra context and action. I am very excited for the next season and hope it comes at least in the next year.

The Real shit

Fuck y'all. I finally got out of the two month long hookup drought. y'all I am baffled by the audacity of men. I am aware its not too surprising but god damnit!!!!!!!! This was supposed to be my redemption arc but I am very discouraged. Over the weekend I had two suitors (both from the dating apps) boy #1 had the stamina of a fucking horse on steroids. that being said there was no foreplay! but I was touch starved that I didn't give a fuck! lmao. so we go FOUR rounds. He gets off every time and I got off slightly once.The whole experience was just not uncomfortable in a non consent way but in a way it was just not my cup of tea. I am down to try everything once and this showed me I don't love or hate my toes being sucked on. wtf! I am a socks during sex type of girly and it kinda through me off guard but it wasn't the craziest part of this experience. This man fully used his jizz as a massage oil on my back and I was so taken a back! he asked me "has anyone ever done that before" my befuddled self just said No?!?! lmao! its so silly I wasn't that grossed out by it I was planning on taking a shower after he left but like what? I'm not gonna yuck someones yum but I didn't know that was a thing???? Okay boy #2 we have been talking on the snapchat for a while and went for drinks awhile back. The talks over snap have gotten spicy a couple times and we were both pretty excited to get together in person. I was excited because this man talked up his game in a very believable and respectable way. It was SO awkward and I know I am a silly person but usually I can keep a conversation going. That was not the case. So at a very random point in conversation he kisses me and It was just not good and that's a terrible start! like whaaaaaat where are your lips! You are just giving me your tongue and do not get me wrong I love a good French kiss but let me feel your lips first! so things start and I end up getting this man off two times in 15 minutes at the most. the entire experience from kissing to his double completion was 25 minutes. Which would be fine if he would of taken the time to get me off like he said he would in these past two weeks of snapchat. He is now distant and I have a feeling its because he knows he didn't provide anything exciting for me. Dating is so damn hard. The thing is I don't even want a boyfriend. I could be a perfect FWB for some very lucky attractive sex god but I can't find him!! I stupidly thought moving to the big apple would provide a better pond but damn its just not going well. That being said I'm gonna keep on trying for the plot because although its bad sex its funny stories. one day I will find a sexy person to have fun casual sex with on a regular basis. that's not too much too ask for! this is getting messy lmao its late I'm wine tipsy. haha goodnight whores xox

[sweetea-rosey]

Ooo hi I saw you take requests? I have a writing request if you want to :))

So here is my idea:

Remus has a notebook given to him by the other sides to write his thoughts down in. See, Remus has clear impulse control problems so this notebook of for him to write his thoughts down instead of just doing and saying whatever comes to mind. It gives him a chance to think about it. Sometimes, maybe like once a week give or take a few days one of the other sides will sit down with him and read his thoughts with him just to make him feel validated and heard. Well this particular time one of the sides (of your choice) sat down with the notebook and found some rather interesting things.

Now, you can take this one of two ways (it’s really all up to you!)- You can make this something angsty (hurt comfort), or you can make it something shippy! It can be any Remus ship you want but I personally am more partial to intrulogical hehe 💙💚

Take your time and have fun with it!! Have a good day :)

Ah! Ty for the request! I started writing it on the day you submitted it, but Tumblr deleted it after a while of not saving :') so now my motivation to do this is deterred

Anyway, this'll be my first time not writing something Roman centric =w=""

Remus held the book in his hands. He remembered the day Roman gave it to him, when he risked traveling into the dark scape because he knew his brother needed this. Because he did, too.

An outlet.

A place for his monstrosities to be, other than inside his head, allowed to torture him to their best abilities. The illusions his mind creates are no longer just in his eyes. It's no longer insanity- it's creativity. The journal isn't the first one. But he and Roman make sure to keep eachother stocked up; they get filled rather quickly. The Imagination holds an entire library dedicated to their filled journals from over the years.

The journals have also become sort of diaries to them. So, imagine what were to happen if one of them got lost? The possibility of their secrets being seen by unbidden eyes.

Remus burst into Roman's room, "Ro!"

Roman jumped from his spot at his desk, "Jeez- ! What is it?"

Oddly, for Remus, he seemed almost anxious, "Have you seen my latest journal?"

Ah, that explains it. Roman understands the severity of losing something that holds your private thoughts. He stood up from his desk chair, turning to face Remus better, "No, I haven't. Is it missing?"

Remus nodded, unable to speak through the panic coursing through his veins, the hormone mixing with the feeling of the plasma we call blood rushing through veins and arteries, rest in his heart, which is thumping with vigor, the- Remus shook himself. The imagery coming on its own with nothing to do with it, "Thoughts, thoughts thoughts, thoughts, blood, where? Everywhere? It is me, I am thoughts and blood and gore and death and slime, and..."

Roman pulled his brother in, the physical touch of his second half grounding him, finally balanced out with his brother there to help him.

"Breathe, Ree...I get it...I'll help you look for it, okay? Do you have any spare journals?"

Remus shook his head. He had just started this one, he was too busy brainstorming on the pages to remember to restock.

"Okay, do you have the focus to conjur any, right now?"

Remus shook his head again. No no, of course not! He's too focused on the one that's missing!

"Alright, that's okay, Ree. I get it. Here, use this for now," As Roman spoke, he pressed a plain black book in the unstable man's hands, "Get some thoughts out on that, then we can start looking, okay?"

Instead of answering, he made the rest of the way into the prince's room and started letting the thoughts out.

.

.

.

"Feel better?"

Remus let out a breath and nodded, "A lot, thanks. Can we go look, now?"

"Of course, let's go."

It took hours. The sun was gone in Thomas' living room and they were still tearing the place apart, searching absolutely everywhere. Remus was tempted to just dismantle the mind palace and look through the stuff that gets left behind. The fear was boiling in his gut in the ocean of acid.

"What if we don't find it? My blood, sweat, and tears went into that book! Pieces of my heart are in there, I can't lose it, what if someone else finds it and reads it?"

Roman shuddered, because he didn't believe that Remus was being metaphorical, "I understand the severity of the situation, Ree. We should go look in the Lightside, now..."

Remus shrugged as much as his slumped posture will allow, "Sure..."

"We'll find it, Ree..."

"That's not what I'm worried about. If I lose it? Fine, I have others, I can start a new one. I'm scared of someone else finding it and reading it... there's things in there I don't want others seeing..."

"I get it, you know I do. We'll get it back before anyone else can even know it exists, alright?"

Remus just shrugged off his comforting hand, "Stupid prince, always making promises you don't even know if you can keep. Don't do that to yourself and don't do it to me. I'm not stupid enough to fall for that shit."

Roman recoiled, almost physically, "Sometime, people just need reassurance."

"And then, when you're wrong? I know you don't like breaking promises, Princey."

"...Then hopefully we'll figure it out."

"You're such a fucking optimist, it's gross."

Roman rolled his eyes, "I'm helping you look, be nice, you doofus."

"Oh wow, "doofus", I'm so offended," Remus said without much effort.

Roman ignored him.

.

.

.

"It's not HERE!" Remus screamed, a pot crashing through the wall.

Roman manged to muffle the noise and quickly put it back together, "We will, this was only the first room in the Lightside. You need to calm down."

"I can't! What if someone else already found it and read it? What if they hate me? What if they never wanna talk to me again because nothing in there makes sense, what-"

Roman caught his hands, "Woah! Woah...Remus, when did you start caring so much about what the others think of you?"

"I don't!"

"But...-"

"I don't care about what Logan and the other think of me."

"Of what...Logan and the...? Remus...is this about Logan?"

Remus hesitated just long enough.

"Oh great Aphrodite, it is..."

"Aphro-? NO! No, I don't!"

"Remus, is there something about Logan on that book?"

Remus said fuck it in his mind and sighed, "Yes... I...some fantasies...that he might not approve of..."

"Oh, Remus..."

"What if he finds out, and he...? He just doesn't...?"

Roman hit his brother on the head, "This is why you're a doofus. It doesn't matter if he finds it, you have nothing to worry about."

Remus rolled his eyes. Literally. He rolled them like dice and Roman had to look away, but got the message.

"How would you know?"

It was Roman's turn to roll his eyes (PROPERLY).

"I'm leaving you to figure that out. But, I do."

"Sure. Whatever. Asshole."

Roman moved on to look in the next room.

.

.

.

A flash of green leaped onto him and he was tumbling over, the item in his hands flying out.

"Remus!"

The man scrambled over and snatched the book up, "Did you read it?"

"I- no, Remus what is it?"

"It's mine. Roman, I found it!"

Roman? Since when do those two talk? But, as Remus said, Roman walked in.

"Oh, thank Hades."

"Logan had it."

Roman sucked in a breath, "Did he read it?"

Remus shook his head, relief is a weird expression on the man's face.

Logan wouldn't mind seeing it more.

"What is this about?"

Roman took the liberty of answering, "The book is Remus' and it's private. Reading it would be invasive."

"Oh, my apologies, then. But, I had just picked it up, it was left over from Remus' running through the room and into the Imagination, along with some other debris I cleaned up."

"It's alright, nerd."

Logan's gaze lingered on Remus a bit, before he bid his farewells, reminded Roman of some work he needs to do by Friday, then left.

"Y'know," Roman said as they turned to walk back, "You could tell him how you feel."

Remus scoffed, "I'm not self destructive, like you, RoRo."

Ignoring Remus' jabs is difficult for the prince, nevertheless, "And do, pray tell, how it's self destructive?"

"Because he'll say no and that will hurt. I don't like when things actually hurt. I'm not risking him hating me even more."

"Woah, woah, he doesn't hate you."

"Doesn't he? I'm chaotic, irrational, vile, ik everything he fights to keep under control."

Roman digested this and thought hard on how best to explain this, "But that's exactly why you two are perfect for each other. You help him let loose when he's being a stick in the mud and he helps you keep in control of yourself and stay organized.

"You're delusional. He doesn't like me, he can't Ro. It goes against our very beings! Go ahead and fool yourself, but you can't do that to me. That's just cruel." Remus disappeared and Roman sighed as he tried to brush off his brother's words.

As the embodiment of romance, he thinks he'd know when a couple will work out or not. How will he convince his brother and Logan of that? He supposes he can't blame them for that, who would listen to the love advice of someone who loves someone that loves someone else? Kinda hypocritical.

.

.

.

"Just leave me alone!"

"Remus! Would calm down? Just listen to me!"

"No! You're a liar and I hate you! Do you want me to get hurt? You're an asshole you good for nothing prince!" He screamed. Why won't his brother let this go? Doesn't he see that everyone is better this way?

"Fine! You're right! Is that what you want to hear? Call me an asshole, call me stupid, call me evil or whatever! But I'm not wrong! Why don't you believe me? Ha! Why am I trying to reason with the self proclaimed unreasonable?"

Remus looked down from his perch on the guillotine, "Wait, RoRo-!" But he was gone.

"Fuck."

He rushed out, hoping to Loki that he didn't do too much damage.

"Roman!"

But he found who he wants looking for.

"Why are you screaming in the middle of the common room?" Came that cool and sexy voice.

"Looking for my brother, duh."

"Funny, I just spoke to him."

"Where'd he go?"

"Not sure, but he told me to stop being a robotic fake and confess to you."

"He- ? ROMAN!" Remus summoned a hammer and maybe there's a new hole in the wall.

"He was right, surprisingly."

Remus was not expecting that, "Come again?"

"I have noticed, over the course of our interactions, that I have developed feelings that I didn't recognized until Roman brought them to my attention. Remus...I have romantic feelings for you."

And it was the last casual and calculated confession Remus ever heard. He imagined something with ropes. But it was the best thing he ever heard. He didn't expect to be crying.

"Remus?"

"I like you, too..."

Logan brightened and stood up, his heart beating unnaturally, yet pleasently, as he moved closer, "Then... perhaps we...?"

But before he could finish, Remus pulled him in and there was no need for words.

Part 2 with what happened with Roman afterwards?

Ty so much for the request and I apologies for the long wait.

@fireflyjunkie

[tahdashi]

RULES

DNI / BYF

✫ i am an adult, so i'd like to keep this blog 16+. do not interact (leave replies, send asks, etc.) with me if you are younger than 16 years old, please (current moots are exempt).

✫ i also reblog suggestive content sometimes!! (never nsfw. if i reblog works that say mdni, please respect the writer’s rules.)

✫ do not send me dms unless we’re moots. and please do not ask to be mutuals (it makes me uncomfortable)

✫ do NOT interact if you're racist, homophobic, transphobic, islamophobic, xenophobic, misogynistic, sexist, racist, or ableist.

✫ please do not spam like my works or i’ll block you.

✫ please just be nice! i want this to be a safe place to talk about our comfort characters :) if you're nice to me, i promise i'll be nice back!

INBOX RULES

please do not spam my inbox. i’ll likely end up deleting the asks! also, do not treat my inbox as a diary. as much as i enjoy talking to all of you, it’s incredibly draining to discuss personal stories and issues, especially when i use tumblr as a way to escape from my own. if you’d like to tell me anything personal, dm me! moots, feel free to ask for my discord !!

RULES FOR SUGGESTING

SUGGESTIONS ARE ALWAYS OPEN! i’m always looking for inspiration!

i write for haikyuu (usually time-skip!!! — not spoiler-free) and tears of themis.

i probably won’t be writing for these characters (as of now) because i'm not confident w my characterization of them! come back soon, this list may be updated!!

✫ lev, aone, meian, fukunaga, kindaichi, komi, washio, terushima, kunimi

feel free to suggest fluff, angst to fluff, comfort, or angst (i don’t feel comfy writing dark or triggering content — please ask first)! i write for gn!reader unless stated otherwise.

lastly, it might take me a while to get to all the suggestions (i’m not obligated to write all of them — if it sparks internet, i’ll write it) !! i'm a busy college student and this blog is a hobby (and a safe space) for me so please be patient hehe <33 muah ily thank you for reading this !

[aphrorite]

-ˏˋ sweetheart diaries ˊˎ- #7 !! 🌷🌸🎀

૮₍ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ₎ა ♡༘

⋆ ✧₊ june 5th 2022 ☀️✨🌷 ⊹ɞ

hewwo diary! m was thinking today wasnt gonna go 2 well bcos im regress/agedre on my period/blood moon n m n very much pain but yk what? today wasn so bad as i thought! :D

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶

so wha i do today diary ? welllll, i did LOTS n LOTS of work! 📝hehe. today im woke up around 9 ish, went onm phone for lil, then gots out of bed. m had delicious grill cheese for breakfast n then went back upstair. im wanted feel little so i look on tumblr for smol bit n enjoy that, but then i fell asleep on accident!! >_< my bed was too cozy ahhhhhh. am woke up at 1:11, angel numba!!!!! teehee 😋. but im woke up in sweat and it really annoying bcos when iw ent back upstair i was cold, though when i woke up my body warmed up so much dat i smell like sweat )): so tmr i shower so i can b extra fresh for school.

but you know wha. its ok to nap sometime. big me wouldv been big meanie and start pushing me down 😞😠 but the cg voice in me says that its OK to take a nap esp since i am on my period, n plus my mom took one too so i am not a bad exception! i am allowed to rest if i need, rest is healing. im need to give myself slack 2 especially since i basically relapsed ):

and dats crazy progress 2 becos this morning im thought id stay in bed all day cos of my period pain )))): imd ont know if i have endo but on my first few days of m period, my stomach realllyyy hurt (but it not cramps or hangry), and i cant even move my thighs or legs cos of pelvic pain. is very unfortunate ): though guess wah diary, i moved today!!!! i even did yoga!!! i write dat with a silly bunny grin hehe <3 ♪( ´▽｀)

so afta dat i went ahead n went on my laptopie for a lil bit, saw dat sims 4 was working!!!! which made me happs. but im weanted my cc from other computer, m sister one, so didnt play bcos of dat. so den i made mself a todo list n got started!／(^o^)＼ m spent lots time in agedre despite getting work done too so i happy for dat.

am ate some fruit loop, drank glass o watar in my favourit thermos w a straw, (i luv ice watar so much mmm), brush my hair, lotion arm and leg, changed into a white adidas crop top n a black pleated skirt, did sum stretches n yoga, n then got starts on my internship homework!

im finish dat in one hour and then wha relaly got annoying was my art homeworks )): i really, really dont like my teacher. shes really negativ n i feel like her personal life is seeping into her teaching cos she is very very not good at teaching and most of the class can agree that we have no sense of difrection and are mostly teaching ourselv. BUT in anycase it also took long 2 do homeworks for art bcos im didnt know what 2 write for reflection + problem bcos the quesetion didn make sense or the assignment instruction were too wordy n my ocd was really kickin in ))))): im kept going doe. had to finish it!! and u know.. diary?

<3 <3 I DID!!!!! I FINISH MY HOMEWORK AND I AM SO HAPPY ABT IT!!! <3 <3

n den i made lunch for tmr (ham cheese, cheezits, iced tea n granola bar), ate sum more foods, n den got ready for bed alon with prepare outfit for tomorrow! i am going 2 do great tomorrow n its going to go well. i am going to fill out me habit tracker, manifestation, go use lou, n then play sims a lil bits before bed. OH did i mention dat i found unicorn from basement? im had a bag full of my childhood stuffies n i found pink webkinz unicorn!!!! so she been by my side since yesterday along w bear. n during writing reflection 4 art im also lay on bear becos he let me n he loveee cuddle like dat, so im not hurting him. i luv bear lots cos he smell good.

im also organize my spotify playlist littol bit n delete some old screenies so i can organiz seagate more so it can b all clean clean!

thank u diary. unicorn luvs u. bear do too. im will pick myself up. i can do dis. i believe in myself!!! YEAH! WOO!!! 🥳🍭🍬

╭┈─────── urs truly, ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈➤ sweetheart xx

[365text]

a 4-yr late introduction (◜௰◝)

hello hello !!

to round out the end of my 90 days of intention (as the smoke has rendered me unable to take any new pictures), i thought i’d post a quick introduction about who i am & what exactly this blog is / has become :”) especially since i have some new buds who joined me along the way, and i’ve never done a formal one before HAHA

who am i

currently a 22-year-old gal who recently graduated this past may during the pandemic (woot) & is living at home until i can relocate to new york for my job !! 

where did this blog come from

back in the early days of 2015-16, i created this side blog to document & keep myself accoutnable for my college application journey (loool tbt appblrs xd). i ended up posting pictures of my planner & study space throughout high school, which was around the time that the ~*studyblr*~ community began to take off! 

after i went to college, i took a break from tumblr but came back during my last semester after our city had a mandated shelter-in-place due to covid :”) i missed tumblr (and its humor HAHA) and also i wanted to keep documenting my life in a non-irl-social-media kinda way

what is this blog now

since i’ve graduated, this blog is just an online photo diary of what i’m up to as a post-grad who recently entered the work world! i mostly post pictures of my (bullet) journal, rambles about my personal life, and also some pictures from my Actual Life occassionally HAHA

i still have some personal goals for myself in terms of what i want to learn, so i do end up “studying” sometimes still hehe (ie. chinese, personal finance)

i missed having an online community, which is a large reason why i came back to tumblr, and i love talking to people on here !! even if i’m not online as often as i used to be in years prior heh and with that being said...

thanks to some of my (new & old) friends/mutuals!

coming back is definitely more enjoyable now that i have more active mutuals (i think 1% of my followers are currently active HAHA) and just wanted to give a shoutout & thanks to some that i can think of off the top of my head~

even if we haven’t talked directly really, i appreciate your presence on my dash (and also in comments in the tags LOL) & i rly hope i didn’t miss anyone in this quick post O:

@study-van

@thiomarinol 

@terhangus

@jinjii-kikko

@philology-studies

@stuhde

@gloomstudy

@coffeeandpies

@headgirlstudy

to anyone who has been here since my high school bean days, incredible !! amazing !! thank u for staying and ily HAHA & to anyone who has joined me in these past few months, thanks for comin’ along with my journey forward into adulthood and i hope we can get acquainted uwu

*also the picture is one i copied from a sticker set i found on pinterest :”)

[unmotivatedrmt]

Starting tumblr again

I’m browsing tumblr since 2011. As a high school student back then, I really don’t know how to use this. Feeling ko dati para lang syang friendster na pagandahan ng layout ganyan. Then now I realized that you can post anything and interact with anyone here. So since I think nobody I know personally will discover me here (since they are not fans of this site)  I’ll make this account my online diary a.k.a my “venting out machine” hehe! I’’ also share my everyday struggles as an adult who’s trying her best to stay alive in this god-forsaken world. So if you’re interested in these things, you can follow me. But honestly I’m just here to vomit my thoughts out ços if I don’t do that, I might get crazy soon. So yep, WELCOME BACK @/SELF TO TUMBLR YEYYY!!!

Anyway here’s my fave meme doggo hihi

[they-dont-get-my-back]

20 questions tag!

Tagged by: Faded, thank you! ^^ ( @shaechans )

Tagging: anyone who’d like to do this but namely @sno0pywoo @kdongyoung @bittersweetescapades @highwaytoncity

name/nickname Pája (Hi!!)

gender Female

star sign Leo (some people say Leos are cool, some say they are the worst. I agree)

height 172 cm (I think?)

time 13:09

birthday 15th August

favourite bands NCT 127, NCT U, Arctic Monkeys, Muse, EXO-SC, The Black Skirts, Radiohead, Tata Bojs, The Kooks, White Lies

favourite solo artists August D, Jeff Buckley, Martha/Rufus Wainwright, Sinéad O’Connor

song stuck in my head I can’t think of any right now, but I started singing From Home yesterday as I was doing my puzzle, so I guess you could count that

last movie Jaws by S. Spielberg

last (tv) show Sweet Home

when i created this blog Oh, uh... this specific blog is exactly... 8 months old! I think, hehe.

last thing i googled “Do artists get paid for posting on Bubble” (I still don’t know)

other blogs I used to run a Sherlock/B. Cumberbatch tumblr

do i get asks? Only if Jiwon feels particularly kind :( Nah, I’m kidding, but I love getting asks and I am forever thankful for each and every one that any of you send my way :)

following 176 (which is weird cause I feel like I’m rebloggin stuff from like... 15 accounts at most)

followers 69!! Thank you so much!

why i chose my url I used to be “regular-everyday-normal-mf cause  1) you should check out Jon Lajoie 2) I really thought I’m going to be the one above all the kpop craze and rage, given my age, but long story short I’m “tell-tale-taeil” now cause I love Taeil and I like Tell Tale Games (coincidence) and I thought I’d look smart with the alliteration

average hours of sleep 6-7 hours on work days I think

lucky number I don’t have one :/

instruments I used to know how to play piano, currently I’m thinking about taking up guitar lessons

what i’m wearing Ah, umm, you don’t wanna see that. I still haven’t changed from “ugh, this dress is ugly, I’m gonna use you as my pajamas” outfit so... yeah

dream trip Anywhere with fascinating culture and nature. I’m not really a “sea and beach” type. One of the most interesting and exciting holiday was in Iceland. I’ve visited Korea as well and I desperately want to come back. Japan would be lovely too. Singapore, Thailand....

nationality Czech

favourite song NCT 127 - Sit Down Black Skirts - Mad Dog Diary Muse - The Dark Side

top three fictional universes i’d like to live in 1) An AU where idols get to create what they want and get paid handsomely for their work lol 2) A Nodame Cantabile AU 3) Me being a super awesome cool detective AU

[dimarunongmagdecidee]

-----------------wakas---------------

Naalala ko pa yung time na inaayos ko yung blog ko. Sabi ko, hala gusto ko pag nagcollege ako magiging diary ko yung tumblr. So that may il-look back ako pagdating ng araw. Pero guess what? Sabi ng college life sakin "bitch u thot" hahhahaa i never imagined my college life to be this stressful and dreadful. To be honest, di ko alam pinasok ko. Lalo na nag accountancy HAHAHAHHA AS IN NO CLUE AT ALL. Pero anyways I'm writing this post to express my story in summary, sa caption ko kasi I decided to thank the people around me kasi deserve naman nila. Pero dito sa blog ko feel ko deserve ko naman iappreciate sarili ko. HHAAHHAHA.

Gusto ko lang sabihin na adjusting nung first year isn't so easy. Lalo na first time ko sa manila. Tho oo I'm a city girl, di ako galing sa province. Pero kasi di ako street smart so everyday ng byahe ko before pamanila i was very anxious na baka maligaw ako or may masamang loob sa sinasakyan ako or baka kung ano mangyare sakin along the way. Pero yung determination ko na gusto ko to. Dream school ko ust. Kakayanin ko. Kasi honestly di nila support na mag UST ako, aside from we're facing financial problems back then di rin nila ko kaya asikasuhin that time so I have to do all things by myself. Grabe ngayon, I'm super proud to that 16 year old wren. Nakakaiyak. Totoo ngang u need to get out of your comfort zone. Kelangan mong mag stand up kung gusto mo talagang mangyari pangarap mo.

Those 5 years were very rough. Ang daming times na muntik nako magstop. Ang daming problema. Mostly family and money. Yep, wala naman ako problema sa acads maybe that's why ang taas ng expectations nila sakin na ako daw hope ng family. Not gonna lie, sobrang pressure non. Parang wala ako karapatan mapagod. Pero you gotta make you weaknesses you strengths. At I wanna thank God for giving me a stubborn and tough mentality kahit anong dumaang problema sakin. Oo, nalulungkot pero lalaban parin.

I think it was my 2nd year nung naka adopt nako kahit papaano and I enjoyed my college life. Seryoso kasi parang wala akong buhay non nung 1st year. UST-Bahay-UST-Bahay lang talaga ako. No social life at all. Di ko alam siguro dahil time if of essence sakin dahil 4 years ba naman akong commute life. And mostly average of 5 hrs a day byahe ko (back and forth na syempre) pero ayun kinaya naman. GRABE UR A TOUGH GHORL. Pero don't get me wrong di nmaan ako puro aral pag uwi hahahaha nagppaahinga lang ako mostly sa bahay since nakakadrain talaga. I don't know sanay naman ako sa very focused sa acads na school since galing naman akong science high pero iba parin yung patayan dito sa AMV eh. Anyways, second year I started going out with blockies. Going to debuts, staying overnights, and inom na rin syempre :p di naman ako nagpabaya more like enjoying new things syempre uwi parin ako Alabang kaya kelangan may control HAHHAHAHA.

Third year, we shuffled sections because our program have to filter the students kung sino ang BSA at sino ang BSMA and luckily I am still accepted sa BSA iniyakan ko din retention exams kasi I was supposed to be exempted and matic BSA na pero bumaba GWA ko so :-( hahahahha anyways ayun nashuffle and I was super scaree that time kasi ibang mga tao nanaman. As you all know, super mahiyain ako sa mga new people unless sila un amag approach. So ayun another adjusting, another barkada. Solid din naman sila but things happened inside the circle kaya nawala din :( GRABE I CAN STILL REMEMBER THE CONFLICTS FRESH PARIN SA UTAK KO. Tho good terms naman proud ako gagraduate na kami, di lahat pero at least we survived.

Fourth year, I decided to join an org mostly because dun ko nalang makakasama mga OG tropa ko eince BSMA sila lahat at ako lang naiwan sa BSA so nag org ako and naging officer para magkakasama aprin kami kahit papaano. I was the Auditor of our college' local COMELEC. DI KO RIN SURE ANO PINASOK KO THAT TIME. Pero I end up loving the family and the responsibility. Oo, dagdag stress like LEGIT DAGDAG STRESS. Pero iba naman yung balik ng saya whenever you accomplish things and you serve the students lalo na't vital sa bansa natin ngayon yang COMELEC politics stuff. Grabe the joy of looking back sa things na dati akala mo wala lang. Ngayon narerealize mo yung impact niya sa life mo. Kung pano ka nagbago at naggrow. I am amazed self huhu PROUD AKO TALAGA SAYO SERYOSO. SORRY NA. Then ayun di ko pa ba nasabi 5 year course ako. So yung mga tropa kong MA, graduating na by this time. 4th year was when I became a social person kasi syemrpe joining an org tas officer ka pa dami makakasalamuha at makikilala. So ayun, diba nga nawala tropa ko from 3rd year that time, I can still remember how I always go to the classroom ng mga friends kong BSMA every break or every walang klase or kapag sila naman yung may klase nakatambay lang ako sa org room para matulog or magwait or magpalipas oras. Ghad those times I really felt alone, aside sa naiisip kong ggraduate na sila lahat tas ako maiiwan, nasasad ako kasi feel ko wala na talagang constant sa life ko lahat nawawala. Tapos dagdag mo pa na nung 2nd sem nalipat nanaman ako ng section shuta. Buti nalang. Buti nalang talaga super kind din ng mga tao sa napuntahan kong section. And I found my "Betsy" there. Oh diba sino bang mag aakala. Hahahahhaha anyways 4th year ako nagstart makistay sa condo ng friend ko since super hectic ng sched and di na talaga kaya ng uwian dahil yung sched ko panggabi tas may org duties pa. I stayed sa condo ng friend ko pero andon naman mom niya so may nag aasikaso samin. Grabe tita Beth super love ko siya. Sometimes I just stare at her and realize na at least may mother figure pa ako na kasama. If u dont know kasi (or if anyone is even reading up to this point) my mom left our family before ako nagcollege. Siguro gets niyo na why we had so many problems by now hahahahhaa. Anyways goods naman kami ni mommy siya parin tumulong sakin para makapagtapos hehe. Super thankful parin ako sa kanya syempre and ofc i love her still. Anyways ayon nga i felt another family kapag andon ako sa condo na yon which makes me warm and easy kapag andon ako. Super swerte ko talaga sa mga tao sa life ko. Bakit ganon? Super bait mo po G 🥺 shet naalala ko 4th year if thesis season pala. I can still remember the stress. Imagine may thesis ka, officer ka ng org, tapos sabay sabay pa lahat ng major exams grabe yun ata yung first time ko mag breakdown ng dahil sa acads. Seryoso, thats the nearest I was to breaking. Super hirap talaga for me lalo na di ata naiintindihan ng groupmates ko sa thesis na di ko makakayang 100% attentions ko sa thesis because I have other responsibilities. May nasira pang friendship seryoso. I never thought aabot sa point na ganon pero ewan baka ako rin yung mali don. I'm sorry guys!!! Pero congrats satin!! Proud ako sa inyooooo!!!

Fast forward, last year of my college life is IAC sem. Meaning parang rerun ng topic or review nalang for board exam. This time nagpaalam nako magdorm kasi shet last na to if I fail this one sayang naman yung mga taon. Kasi a lot of alumni told na kung madugo na undergrad, mas madugo IAC so I was determined to do better. And thankfully naman pinayagan nako magdorm since nakaluwag naman na and last na. I was so happy that time na magddorm ako shet finally. I wanted to feel independent or learn at least. Pero mostly dahil makakapagwalwal nako ng wlaang nakakaalam HAHHAHAHA char ofc part yun pero that's not the focus. Ayon, nung nagdorm ako I had the MOST SOLID FAM. Since nga diba wala nanaman ako tropa na makakasmaa kasi graduate na ofc so another adjustment nanaman sa life jusko every year nalang talaga. I dont know if sinasabi ko lang to because I am in the present and sila kasama ko now or its just i really feel the genuine love of this squad huhu. Or maybe dahil sila talaga yung nakasama ko through the darkest days sa AMV magkakasama kaming ginago ng sistema, ng admin, ng mundo and sabay sabay din kaming ggraduate ngayon. GRABEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TANGINAAAA NAKAKAIYAK NAKAKAPROUD. LAHAT NG INUMAN, IYAKAN, PUYAT LAHAT YON MA LAHAT YON NAGPAY OFF. LAHAT YUN MAY REASON. LAHAT YUN DINALA TAYO DITO. Ang daming beses na nagdoubt kami if we could pero look at all of us now huhu lahat kami kinaya. As long as u got each others' backs talaga. Don't let anyone break.

Ayun to sum it up, narealize ko lang na I really value friendship a lot. Feel ko talaga they keep me going. They keep me sane. Super dali ko maimpluwensyahan pag kasmaa sila. They are both my joy and hope kapag stressedt huhu. Thank u self for choosing this path. Thank u for being strong. Thank you for believeing you can. Thank u kasi matigas ulo mo wala ka pake at nag aral ka lang AHAHAHAHA. NO MATTER WHAT LIFE THROWS AT YOU, LOOK AT THIS FEAT AND REMEMBER HOW STRONG U ARE OKI? I LOVE U WREN WREN CONGRATS TO YOUR ACHIEVEMENT!!! Can't wait to finally walk to that QPAV stage with my gradpic on the LCD and getting my diploma 😭😢

ALL THOSE 5 YEARS WAS LIKE A BLUR RIGHT NOW PERO I KNOW THE JOURNEY WASN'T EASY, IT NEVER IS. I HAD MY MOMENTS. PERO SALAMAT SA PAG OVERCOME LAGI. BE HAPPY WREN WREN. YOU DESERVE.

[hopeless-arianator-gemini]

My Crush(es) #1 ♡

Hey guys, first post!

So I’m just going to use tumblr as my sort of diary/journal and maybe u guys could give me some sort of advice? I’m rly new to this so pls be gentle. ♡

So I’ve kind of had this crush for quite some time. He’s in my class and rly handsome. He’s very tall. He’s literally taller than most of the teachers in my class. And he’s just as tall as my physics teacher who is considered the tallest teacher in the whole school! But idk... I’m just rly attracted to tall guys. He also has brown hair that he just cut off, he kind of looks like a mushroom right now hehe (a rly cute one tho). But idk it’s still rly cute and idk I’d rly love to just play with it hehe.

He also has rly nice dark brown eyes, whenever we make eye contact in class it just makes me so happy. We make a lot of eye contact lately. Idk if he thinks it’s weird but I think it’s pretty cute hehe. My friend once told me while we were talking that I shouldn’t turn around but he was staring at me. And I was being rly stupid laughing around and thriving my arms in the air. After I was done laughing she told me he weirdly frowned and then looked away. Oops... :/

So, he also has this girl friend. Not girlfriend but like girl friend if u know what I mean. At least I hope that they’re not more than that. So they seem to talk a lot in class and they have the same type of humor. I kind of also forgot to mention that he’s crazy popular. Like all of school knows him. So basically our school system has six grades in high school and right now I’m in third and he’s too. But he’s one or two years older cause he failed last year and he has to do this year over. So now we’re in the same class.

I didn’t hear about him before but now I RLY do. Like I kind of can’t think about anything else lately. I’ve also been trying these subliminals that have been on YouTube for quite some time. Idk if they’ll work but I hope so. They were meant for making me feel more comfortable around my crush and him liking me.

So yeah u might be wondering why I rly want to feel more comfortable around him. I’m rly the kind of person that will just shut up or flirt like crazy around the people that I have a crush on. I had a crush two years ago and I flirted like CRAZY. I took my glasses off, I took my hair out of my ponytail and I started stupidly asking if he could help me, even though I already knew what it was about and he didn’t at all. But we’re not talking about my previous crush no we’re talking about mine at the moment. :)

So there was also this “incident” some time ago in middle school... There was this boy I had a crush on and he was crazy hot and popular and I was kinda sad cause I was a real loser and nerd. I had these super ugly glasses and these block braces if u know what I mean and just not attractive at all. And I just rly liked him. So I started sending him letters at our last-grade-of-middle-school-sleep-away-camp-thing. And in these letters I would reference to him as the cat that was making me crazy and me as the mouse. And at the end of that camp the boy was playing truth or dare in somebody’s room. And I heard from my friend that he and some girl kissed and I was just so sad and I started crying. And all the girls that were in the same room as I, God bless them, started asking me what was wrong and hugging me. And I told them all of it. But then two of them went out of the room and came back with the boy and pushed him into the room. And I kind of screaming/crying started how much my 12 year old heart loved him and aches for him blah blah blah.

So you might be thinking, what does this all have to do with my story? So this boy that I like right... he knows this boy that crazy liked and that I screamed/cried at. They’re in the same soccer team... (*´-`)

So you might be thinking, how do I know this? Well, the boy that I now have a crush on came up to me and asked me if I know that boy that I had a crush on in middle school. And I said yes, and he told me that they’re in the same soccer team. And I was like oh shit... Great way to make a first impression huh. So my crush probably now knows that I’m a psycho that sends secret letters as a “mouse” and that I scream/cry at people whenever I’m upset...

Oh and one more thing, I know this is getting way too long but at this one party where I was I saw him walking by and I think he saw me too but I’m not sure. So I was just having a good time at the party with my friends. And later that week I stayed home because I was sick and my friend sends me these pics of the school magazine. And I couldn’t believe what it said... My crush kissed the school slut, that didn’t even attend our school anymore!!! Oh and at another very recent party I saw him smoking weed and sigarettes and idk if I like that...

Ok ok last thing I promise... I also sit next to him in chemistry class but I don’t rly want to tbh. I’m the kind of person that likes to admire from a distance and also the kind of person that HATES confrontation. And that’s exactly what making me sit next to my crush is not tolerating at that moment. And he’s like super tall so he’s like over towering me. Not that I mind. ( ^ω^ )

But ok I’m just ranting and ranting without any conclusion, so here a conclusion:

1. I’m bad at talking with my crush.

2. I hate confrontation, especially involving crushes. (Multiple times when it went wrong...)

3. I need ur help.

I hope u liked this rant/blog/story about my crush(es). If u have any advice for me pls tell me. (￣∇￣)

Pls remember ur beautiful and stay calm. ♡

[choco-style]

lately I’ve found myself mind yelling “shut the fuck up” more than usual and I don’t know who to talk to because there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it, I just have to wait to go to school and feel better, which is crazy because the general opinion on school is “god I hate it I just wanna go home” and that’s what I used to think too when I was in my awful 5-8 grade class

and it’s not just real life people I want to shut up, I feel like I’m getting more defensive and my favourite creators are getting called all kinds of things by people who claim to have the higher moral ground (or whatever you call it), when they themselves wish terrible things upon people who have either done nothing wrong, or who have apologized for everything they did wrong. and it’s 99% on tumblr. now I understand why no one fucking likes this site.

and I’m back again in this state where “I wanna go home” doesn’t at all refer to the actual apartment, but to a mentally happy place. and it sounds edgy when your brain says I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home please shut the fuck up

this isn’t even that bad and it’s nothing serious and I don’t know how I feel about all this I just needed to let it out and tumblr is where I can write longass “diary entries” and very few people who I care about will read them, and if someone has a problem with them I don’t give a single shit about their feelings and I hope they get the help they need to not turn into a shitty person or worse.

ive also been kinda mean??like not quite but kinda??? i dont know i just feel like i peaked and now im just kinda there. but im not even in the neutral empty doorway kind of state, its like now im in the room but idk what i wanna do and i need to pee but theres no toilet and im just there. like how dreams feel sometimes,,,,, idk aaagh

during the first 5 days of the week i look forward to the weekend because that keeps me happy and good and nice but then the weekend is the worst part of every week and i look forward to going to school, and now i wont even have this escape because this is the last week were going to school this decade and i have to breathe the same air and hear the same sounds as my family and i dont want to, i wanna go to school and be distracted and plan out my evenings and mornings when im basically alone. or something. i dont know what im talking about. i just dont want winter break. i dont wanna talk to my family when theyre all together. whenever theres even two people from my family in the same room i feel like i want to cry and i end up wishing id made plans or something, anything just to be somewhere else. 

youtube videos arent working anymore. or they are, but not really. i can block out the sound partially but i can still hear other people. and i think its normal but also fucked up. “what is?” well thanks for asking, me in “ “s, having these people argue so much is common but fucked up, having to stop whatever ur doing just to check whether or not a family member is crying, only to find out theyre laughing, is fucked up but maybe common. wanting to be home alone is common and not fucked up i think. going into a mental crisis because youre in this eternal circle of being sad - amplifying it because ur an attention whore - realising ur an attention whore - instead of stopping, u amplify THIS to feel absolutely terrible except not really because its not real or is it - now ur making urself look like the victim of realising ur not the victim. jesus fucking christ u stop thinking about it and it happens again a while later. just shut the fuck up, me. shut the fuck up. make my brain shut the fuck up,  i would literally probably cry happy tears if someone could make me shut the fuck up forever. or maybe i wouldnt but right now i feel like im gonna cry thinking about it. or its just placebo. or not placebo, the negative one. or idk. maybe i was right the first time i dont know. and now my back hurts cuz im like a little bug or whatever im just writing like. reversed arched. i dont know how to explain it lmao. i dont wanna read this thiing ever again but i most likely will! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! be happy lol u knwo the meme thats like cmon work. idk what it was but the reference is in my brain and i feel like i could use it. and now i sound weird. well not weird im just going thru the thing i explained earlier in this thing. but i wont write abt it im just gonna not think about it bc that seems to work really well. felt the need to add ^^ as if im talking to someone or maybe making my thoughts talk to me rn like how i would talk to someone irl lmao.theyve actually been silent for a while so idk.

id title this “if im being honest” to like show im trying to get my rthoughts out with no real filtering but aaah idk. i dont wanna do it bc the title would be like. bigger and semibold and itd draw attention to  it. i want this to not be read by people but maybe someone will. i have like 2 or 3 people in mind who would maybe maybe maybe read this but i dont know. its really not anything so you shouldnt read it. maybe someone could skim this. is that how you say it. also there is some filtering of my thoughts because i dont wanna name anyone im not looking for trouble i just wanna talk into the void and feel better and maybe this is really it. i do feel kind of relaxed now. my uhhh wrists, yeah thats what theyre fcalled, they kinda hurt and my fingers dont hurt but like, the joints are very,,,accentuated? but not like visually they just. i can conciously feel them? and my throat and kinda eyes? thats bc of almost kinda crying but lol idk. and like ive always hated accentuated feelings and i read this thing on wikipedia about sensory overload and idk if its a normal thing that happens like when something stings or hurts or if its a symptom of something or i dont know but ive always kinda joked about it and its also related to tics. ticks? ticks. tics. and its not really what im feeling rn but its a thing that happens sometimes. kind of. but like when u walk up the stairs and u feel ur right leg has been doing/making more effort pushing u up than ur left leg and u try to balance out the effort and it can be hurtful i guess bc if something like an eye or arm hurts u try to balance out the pain and that can be bad dont do that but like i can do it bc i wont do it in bad scenarios. i went off track lololol sorry

this is kind of what my mind speeches and discourses look like so yeah i hope this goes unnoticed or someone notices it and i can just say nah dude im good trust me because i am i think and u should maybe probably trust me bc usually i have it better than everyone i talk to online or in real life so its fine if u trust me because its nothing to worry about really. ur precious and u desrrve more attention than whatever this thingy is. take care of yourself. the only thing ur allowed to think about this post if u read it (or not but like sure), according to my selfish brain, is that oh wow its cool that u tried mimicking (??) ur thoufhts and id be lioke yeah haha i dont even know whats wriitten in here anymroe im cool like that hahahhahahhhhhhhahha hehe hoho hihi you know. so dont feel anything else than indifference and maybe admiration. i wouldnt say the former if this were something i put thought into but it isnt so enjoy! honesty. kinda.