#hed feel that something is missing
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akaashi ugly crying at bokuto's graduation
#and i mean UGLY crying#like he can't stop#everyone stares at him wondering why fukurodanis most composed setter is bawling his eyes out and audibly sobbing and sniffling#even bokuto is worried like ??? :D#and then akaashi would feel so lonely afterwards#like he would have no one to eat lunch with#hed feel that something is missing#YES I KNOW THAT THERE ARE OTHER MEMBERS BUT HEAR ME OUT#haikyuu!!#akaashi keiji#bokuto koutarou#fukurodani#bokuaka#grey.txt
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Pretty fucked up that timmy forgets the only positive influences in his life after his 18 birthday when you think about it
#like he losses the only family that loves him and friends and allies that respect him#outside of aj and chester he doesn't have a lot of good influences in his life#trixie could probably be his friend after she gets over the whole popularity thing but still#losing that muc of your memories is going to affect yoyr personality#if they were replaced he's probably going to think he was alone for most of his life with occasionally seeing some friends#and some good moments (him making frinds with chip and maybe might remember mark depends)#umm does Shirley count? doubt he would remember him unless he goes to his shop often#i doubt his relationship with his parents would improve hed probably move out not to long after he turns 18#i think the memory wipe would affect certain aspects of his personality too#like his interest in the arts would probably lesson due to the feeling of something being missing or just#straight up depression#i feel like he wouldn't persue a creative field due to multiple of reasons and settle for something more practical but will always have tha#what if oh timmy forgetting and losing himself is something so tragic#especially if he still miserable or in a bad place#imagine the angst#timmy turner
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day one of working with cishet dad coworker who makes tranny jokes complete everyone give me goodies and pet my head im the bravest hero of them all
#my twisted mind#and i only had a little bit of a panic attack#or something idk what it was but i was doin bad for that first like. hour#idk how he feels abt meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and its mqaking me insane i miss my autistic manager LOL#he also thinks guys in dresses are pretty funny but i feel like if i told him abt gender stuff hed just say okay and move on#but theres no fucking way this guy would be normal about me#ive been going crazy at work a little since when did every man you meet make at least one jab at “guys in dresses”#agwa
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my canon end for emm//rich is mortality.
i do wish the game would've explore the choices more and the possible downsides to lichdom because, as it stands, they don't present any negatives.
1) though they touch upon this if you choose lichdom, they should've presented this issue beforehand: outliving you. worse: outliving everyone. emm//rich clearly has a deep capacity to love and to care. has he considered an eternity of losing everyone? will he force himself to never get close again in order to avoid mourning? 2) self-identity. you gain immorality, but you lose your body and your face. will you still see yourself as "you"? 3) will he still retain his humanity a hundred years down the line? two hundred? a thousand? how do you hold on to that humanity when you yourself gave it away, are largely secluded from the human population, and possibly bar yourself from further human relationships?
i dislike how the game presents it as "you can't have lichdom by reviving man//fred, because it implies you won't be able to handle the loss of others", and while that does make sense, it falls apart because choosing lichdom means being afraid of his own mortality. is being afraid of others dying unacceptable, but being afraid of dying yourself, and running away, okay?
i'm of the opinion that foregoing lichdom is a sign of growth for emm//rich. he never loses his fear, but he's grown enough to live with it, and choosing lichdom to me feels too easy in that you're encouraging him to run away. choosing lichdom can be interesting in that he obtained what he thought he always wanted only to learn that it isn't what he wants, especially when he sees everyone else aging or dying around him, but i like to think of that more as speculation and an interesting think piece than my canon ending.
#( emmliches: ooc. )#just thinking. it always stuck out to me but i do prefer endgame mortal emm//rich#theres also the added complication of a romanced r//ook. how does him being a skeleton affect intimacy?#can he feel as a human does? and if he doesnt wouldnt he deeply miss that?#flip the table and what would r//ook feel and think?#like i feel the vast majority of people would probably in fact care.#its a messy thing. something i think hed deeply regret later on.#da spoilers#da:tv spoilers
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i miss my wife tails
#the wife is a fictional middle aged man#another one of those days where i just miss him a lot for zero reason at all and theres nothing i can do to make it better#i was hormonal earlier but then i started feeling bad about it and now im just needy. arms outstretched to nothing. hold me please. frank.#and yeah im thinking about him and kids again. saw something on twitter that like shot me dead#so now ive just been sitting here. thinking about him holding a baby in his arms. its not his but it has nobody else to hold it#and i know that while he will never let himself keep it for a moment in time hed love it like his own#god sorry im going thru something. give this man a child. force him to be the father he was always meant to be
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beach
ft. my headcanon that noel really likes seashells + gay panic
#jesus christ i feel SO sick right now i#im sorry that has nothing to do with the post i just#sirius gibson#noel levine#sirinoel#as you can see im trying to draw one of these every day#idk how long it will last but i have a whole bunch of ideas lined up#NOOOOOOO FUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF POSTING THIS I REALIZED THE WHITE OUTLINES WERE MISSING ON THE FIRST DRAWING AND THOUGHT#“oh i forgot to turn on that layer” and went back to the drawing to turn on the white line#AND IT WAS FUCKING GONE I DELETED IT BY ACCIDENT OR SOMETHING SO I HAD TO REDRAW IT#im sorry my tags on my latest posts have been me bitching about drawing#anyyyyway i think sirius would fluster remarkably easy at seeing skin#hed probably also mildly panic seeing just his arms or legs lmao#it was a challenge for him to not dress in a million layers to the beach he really isn't a short sleeved/shorts guy himself but it was hot#tbf noel isnt any better if he saw shirtless sirius hed die#but sirius would never be shirtless in most contexts not even for the beach so (these outfits are both from official art i added the shoes)#drawings
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I should bring back my Lucas Carter cosplay
#lohst.txt#i probably wont#especially in this hot weather#although i have been meaning to write a bapo fic for the longest time#centred on lucas and jason. post jasons death#dont you think hed feel guilty giving one of his best friends the very thinf he used to overdose?#yeah. the fic ive been meaning to write ks about lucas feeling guilty. maybe seeing ghosts#it'll either be a bapo fic#or maybe a bapo au fic with michael and jake#with the added layer that hes gay. he could have said something sooner. he should have realised sooner#maybe im just missing bapo
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Im gonna need someone to cast Joe Keery in a period romance asap
#joe keery#maybe its cuz i recently rewatched pride and prejudice but i need him in something with that vibe#like some regency themed romance/jane Austin like#and yes i know shes British and regency is a British specific term but idk the American equivalent#i mean can he do a British accent im not picky#actually has he done a British accent before? if he has someone please send me a video of it#i just need this and i think hed be great in this kind of role#my post#feel free to reblog#please tell me im not the only one who thinks hed be great in this kind of role#also if he has been cast in something like this and i missed it you have to tell me#i know hes in some movie that takes place in the 50s which is closer but still not quite what i want
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dad is here and the ache of Wishing I Had A Relationship With My Dad returns
#smudgy.txt#it feels like this abyss of loneliness and wanting a hug and wanting to cry#like wishing hed comfort me. as if thats something hes ever done#missing a relationship that never existed#funny how i never feel this w my mom. i dont find myself wanting a mom often if ever#dad was the one who did the most to take care of me i think#like even if looking back hes a very flawed person he was more of a parent to me#than mother ever was#cooked cleaned tried to make u laugh when ur down#mom was just. there. still is.#waaaa i wanna cry#hes having fun talking w my brother & im so jealous and sad. we can never have convos like that#im not his son. the thought makes me feel hollow#.vent
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I think i ever processed anything that happened from 2021 to now like ever
#sniffle… also body dysmorphia hit#i hate this stupid website i hate it i hate how much hate there is but god its where all of my friends are#im really starting to hate someone and im just… god i hate them i wish i never met them id do better being alone in 7th grade#they were never my fuckingg friend they just treated me like shit#‘i hate talking to you so much but im not gonna tell you and i never will’ great your boyfriend told me what you said during an argument lol#worst thing was i hated talking to him i hated it!!! id forget to reply for five minutes then hed be like ‘are you there’#im just… pissed he didnt speak up but i guess i didnt either#god im just… sometimes i just want an apology or just a hug i feel like some big bad in some dumb show or something#and it makes me wanna isolate so bad i just wanna stop going to school im just so tired#i just want to die sometimes i just feel like everyone hates me and thats why people dont talk to me#i just want to die sometimes or like just be a observer#i just wanna watch people sometimes when i was younger id want to disappear and then see what people said about me#to see if they missed me or anything#its so stupid that that never fully went away#anyways fuck idk why i fucking bothered typing all this nobody fucking cares anyway 💥💥💥🦅🦅‼️‼️❗️❗️#if youre reading this far sorry#evilsoda.hater
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I drove back. I didn't know what else to do. He takes the pill for cancer. You can't miss a dose of prednisolone, esp on someone so small (I know the effects of prednisolone from when my arm was bad). Last time I was far away, camping last fall, Phoenix didn't take the pill from dad either. When i got back he ate it fine. This time. Last time I had to force feed it for a while which was traumatic for both of us. He usually takes it with pill pockets.
Next time if I go anywhere far enough I can't drive back and forth I may have to get some kind of fail safe-- like a pet sitter or. Take him to the vet tho dad didn't think he could catch him (he'd probably die of fright if he stayed at the vet for a week)
#i was crying the way back#at least he seems fine#whyyyy#i feel guilty#but i know daniel can take care of grandma#he did in may when mom let him take her bqck after she was here a couple days#it was fine#dad obs cant give phoenix his pill.!#pet sitter..#which can find my scaredy cat#if dad could put him in carrier..#he didnt think he could do that either#if he actually made the cats used to him!#idik if hed take them from mom#moms gone#im disoriented#i miss grandma#but something about that house.. or me anxiety about it idk.#doesnt help#i couldnt let phoenix die tho
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A genie appears in front of me and I go "I want one (1) familial relationship that isn't messy toxic or long distanced" thats it thats the fantasy.
#i miss my uncle today i wanna go get coffee with him#we'd be rolling eyes at each other and sniping bc hed make some comment about how much whipped cream i have in my cofee and id tell him he#cant control ppl just bc he's anxious but hed call me a know it all and itd be fond instead of frustrated and im always kind of a brat#around him bc i get to be and idk i just wanna get coffee with him even if he picks at my food ( and my weights fine anyways)#....theres something similar with my brother but my uncle never makes me feel like theres something wrong with me#..hes my favorite#hes in ecuador#immigrant tag
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I fucking hate the early stages of getting better where you only have maybe 1 or 2 solid, semi-healthy coping mechanisms that aren't the most reliable at all times and you're still shaky about it all. I'd rather just be better, but at least when I'm not okay at all I lose all hope in where I could be and I've already forgotten how it feels to be okay and stable. and I KNOW I need more, solid coping mechanisms. but I just went from absolutely no healthy ones and zero hope of getting better to having a few healthy-in-moderation ones and being able to verbalize some basic life goals, so this is progress. I'm not there yet, but this is what I've got and I'm getting there. And it fucking sucks because every time I get here it only becomes so much more obvious how far I have fucking slipped.
#and i hate the early stages of talking#because one of my healthier coping mechanisms is talking#and i hate everybody so its a lot of talking to him#and i cant really insert myself into his life like that yet because there isnt commitment or obligation#not that i would anyway often#but i feel like shit#and hes going out to do things with his brother#which good for him and i genuinely hope he has the best time#but i feel actually so bad that if we were properly TOGETHER together id ask if it were possible to reschedule#or if i could at least come over after and maybe spend the night#or ask for a check-in when he has time or SOMETHING#especially because i didnt get to see him yesterday and i probably wont tomorrow because he works later#but we arent there yet or anything#and i dont want to be clingy#i probably wouldnt make him reschedule or anything even if we were together like that#but i really wish we were staying over level right about now#because he probably wont even consider inviting me over if he gets home at 8-9 or even later#but i miss him because the anxiety spike im having is BAD and i havent seen him in a bit so now im wondering if he actually likes me at all#(pure anxiety talking and i have no reason to believe it but that doesnt make it fully go away)#and i would at least like a phone call or something#but i hate phonecalls because im quiet as hell so theyre awkward and im a sit in silence typa bitch#and he knows i hate phone calls#and hes talked at length about how he hates phone calls and prefers messages and all that#so i think hed take me seriously if i asked him to call#but i also dont want to worry him if hed take it seriously if i asked him to call#because he should enjoy his day off and do fun things and not feel any need to hang out with me all the time or anything#i dont want him to feel like he needs to schedule his life around me ESPECIALLY when we arent even together#vent#whores lovesick musings
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maxwell and sammy are all mine and i love them like my children but its pretty hard to divorce them from fnaf enough to make them straight up ocs. sammy especially bc hes technically not my oc, even if i made up every aspect about him except his name and dead twin sister
#my point being i keep seeing oc post and going ‘omg me about sammy’ but sammy isnt an oc. technically#i literally wont even change his name if i do ever just make him all mine. i love him sammy is my bff forevers.#sammy smiles real wide and has sharp canines. he cant stand silence and talks to himself CONSTANTLY and its worse around other people#he interrupts people a lot by accident. and is really bad about holding friendships and doesnt reach out to people. after he took max in it#was impossible to shut him up bc someone was actually there now. he has serious trust issues and thinks ppl dont like him bc he thinks#everyone to have some big secret theyre all collectively keeping from him to keep him ‘’safe’’ which stems from. his mom doing this to him#about his sister and dad she just straight up refused to tell him until he found out on his own. so for 11 years he knew that. they for sure#you cant just split up your family in half in a divorce. something seems incredibly wrong about that but he didnt know what actually#happened there. also they were young when she died but he still felt like a part of him went missing and without the knowledge she died he#assumed. hed see her again and fill that hole. and of course that wasnt true. so anyway he struggles to make and keep friends#hes had like 8 different partners who lasted more than a month (most of them didnt want to deal with max) and he cant keep any of them bc a#a lot of people meet this cute charming guy with a lot to say and realize hes literally like this all the time and it stops being cute and#starts being annoying. he wanted to have kids bc he really likes kids but nobody wants him unfortunately and also he had. max for 8 years#and max is for sure his kid (from his perspective max is weird about it bc max thinks of his dad. as his Parent and sammy as more of#brother) but like max was not really what he was thinking when he thought he wanted kids right. and he feels bad about thinking that but#he does. think that. he wants a kid of his own. sammy is a therapist for kids with trauma specifically so that also impacts his ability to#have a kid. he worries that. bc of his personal experience of what Can happen that he may in turn be a helicopter parent or way#overprotective. yknow. he#ive got to go to bed omg. i got enough thoughts down!!!!#simons spouting#a lot of this is just awfully written but you cant read back or edit tags on mobile. not my fault
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Imagine best friend Mattheo being absolutely obsessed with his innocent little Hufflepuff bsf but she just can’t tell. Everyone else knows, and it is quite obvious, but she just can’t think someone like him would want someone like her. But when she jokingly says she’s gonna get Cedric to take her virginity he decides it’s time he came clean.
Possibly with some soft smut if you are comfortable with it of course
bsf mattheo riddle x hufflepuff reader
hopefully this matches your request <3 i’ll most likely make a part 2 for this because.. you’ll see ;) 3.5k words
you lived a rather simple uncomplicated life, attending hogwarts as a hufflepuff with no interest in anyone’s drama. though you kept to yourself most times you tried to be nice to all your peers maintaining your classic hufflepuff demeanor, despite this there was one thing that was different about you.
you see, you didn’t see or understand why people don’t like other houses just because of “house rivalry” especially the students who weren’t even participating in any sports or point winning. and with this over your years though you had few friends you had one best friend who at first seemed rather impossible to be friends with.. mattheo riddle.
when you two met you were a fourth year and him a fifth, coincidentally you were going on to a few friends about your annoyance with people automatically assuming the worst of slytherin even though you yourself weren’t in their house or nearly like one. mattheo overheard this heated- adorable voice coming from behind him and he walked towards you carefully.
he sat down in front of you beside your friend as she gawked faces towards you at his presence. “you don’t think we’re too mean, huh?” he questioned small laugh leaving his lips. “i just think that some people are misunderstood and just because some wizards turned out bad doesn’t mean all of them in your house are” you looked at him answering his question with ease
he smirked in amusement and leaned a little closer to you “hm, hufflepuff eh? what year are you puff?” he sat back examining you and you didn’t fail to notice that nickname he slipped in “fourth year but i have an early birthday which is annoying because i could technically be out sooner” you sighed ignoring his staring.
“well, seeing as it’s ravenclaw against gryffindor do you wanna watch the quidditch game with me i know the best view” he stood up and held his hand out for you, you look towards your friends and they’re both nodding their heads for you to go so you did.
from that point on you and mattheo had been best friends, sadly he was in his seventh year and now you in your sixth nothing much had changed in your life. living vicariously through mattheo and his stories about slytherin parties and how you should go to one with him before it’s too late, he’d tell you about his sexual adventures and your jaw would drop everytime.
you yourself also confided in him though with much less interesting things, telling him how you feel unlikeable by guys sometimes because they never try to get or talk to you, or how you feel lonely because you’ve never had a a boyfriend before. hed always help soothe the thoughts away, telling you that it’s only your brain making those things up , “listen y/n, anyone who doesn’t love you is fucking insane”.
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talking to your friend zarah who’d been there since day one you always told her what you told matt, for the most part. “i just don’t get why nobody is interested in me zar, like am i genuinely that ugly” you plopped onto your bed sighing dramatically. “you’re not ugly and if you think no guys want you you’re blind i know one in particular that really, really wants you” she giggled.
you looked at her with a confused expression “i must be missing something because i have no idea who you’re talking about” you awaited her response and she just rolled her eyes and sighed “girl your practically boyfriend of a best friend you do everything with” she gave you a duh look and you just laughed. you genuinely couldn’t believe she’d even think he’d like you especially with all the girls he’d been with, “you’re hilarious, we both know he doesn’t want me he wants all the girls he tells me about” you started to compose yourself but zarah’s expression didn’t change.
“you literally must be blind y/n do you need glasses? or should i say puff? let’s talk about how that man hasn’t stopped calling you that pet name since you’ve met.. he’s in love” she rolled her eyes raising her hands in the air. “i still don’t think he wants me so there’s no convincing me” you shrugged her off and she groaned getting up and leaving your shared dorm.
𓆙
“puff you gotta come to this party, slytherin won agains gryffindor i just know this is gonna be the party you want to go to pleaseee” mattheo put his hands on your shoulders shaking you “fiinee” you attempted to answer between shakes before he let you go “if i would’ve known it was that easy i would’ve done that years ago” he rolled his eyes.
“anyways it’s tonight at like 8 so i’ll just get you from your dorm at like 7 do you think they’ll let me in? actually what’s the password?” he didn’t give you time to finish any of your sentences before you just gave him the password “butterscotch” you whispered, in response mattheo laughed “fucking butterscotch merlin that’s hilarious�� you looked up at him and rolled your eyes walking away.
“i’ll see you at 7 puff” he yelled across the hall and you just gave a thumbs up and continued walking. you honestly were quite nervous seeing as you’ve never necessarily been to a party before, you’ve made small appearances at hufflepuff parties but you’ve heard they don’t even compare to slytherin.
making your way into your dorm you spot zarah and you pull her up from the common room couch “i finally said yes to a party need help now” you quickly mumbled and she quickened her pace “when does it start girl i need the info right this second come on you’re talking too long for me” she rushed and you blurted it all out “8pm he’s getting me at 7 he has the password he will be at the dorm” closing the door behind you two you both stopped to catch your breath
“sooo is it a dateee” she shimmied her arm on you winking “i already told you he doesn’t like me!!” you replied to her relentlessness. “ugh whatever we need to get you ready girl it’s already six” she pushed you onto your shared vanity chair and pulled out all of your makeup and a few things of hers, “creative control?” she asked smirking at you “mm fine but not too much” you agreed “we’ll see” she giggled.
after around 30 minutes she finished your makeup and she showed you the finished product, looking at yourself in the mirror you thought how you never would’ve put on red lipstick yet you feel really good in it. she gave you a small smokey eye and a small winged liner and you felt you looked more aggressive then you were, but you kinda loved it.
“it’s so much but so pretty” you admired yourself and the makeup she put on you slowly getting used to the feeling of fake eyelashes on your eyes. “i’m so glad you love it, but we need to find an outfit like three hours ago” she joked and rushed to your closets “i actually have the perfect dress in mind if you’re feeling the want to rep slytherin green” she raised her eyebrows up at you in a suggestive matter “sure why not” you shrugged
she handed you a velvet body con forest green dress that you were sure was going to be extremely short and you mean in every place. she held it up onto you “this will be perfect. get it on come on” she rushed you into the bathroom and you began putting it on “this is sooo tight” you called out as you struggled “oh i forgot it was a corset back wait i need to help you can i come in” she yelled through the door
“yeah come on i need this thing one me already” you struggled more as she walked in and immediately began to help you loosening the strings of the dress and pulling it down onto you “there we go now suck in like your life depends on it” she said half jokingly and began retightening the corset back. with every pull it felt like your chest was spilling out more and more and your ribs were shrinking “okay merlin that’s enough before i can’t breathe” you huffed and she stopped tying it off in a bow
“stop you look so hot y/n i bet matt will be drooling” she teased and you just rolled your eyes “what do we do with my hair” you looked at her with horror as you only had ten minutes before he should arrive. you quickly began curling your hair not really caring if it was messy just giving it some body and just as you were spraying perfume on there was a knock on your door.
zarah looked at you and whispered “answer it go go now” she pointed to the door like she was afraid to touch it herself and you walked over opening it to see mattheo in an all black button down with the top few buttons undone and black dress looking pants yet somehow he didn’t look overdressed. he didn’t say anything for a minute he was just staring at you looking up and down in awe “holy fuck y/n who did your makeup you look woah” he put his finger on your chin moving your head around examining your makeup
“zarah isn’t it pretty” you smiled and he removed his hand and replied “yeah you are, now let’s go” he grabbed your hand and you looked behind you waving bye to zarah “he’s so in love with you” she whispered before the door slammed closed.
𓆙
once you got the the party you noticed there were already many slytherins already pregaming and mattheo brought you two to them, “let’s get some alcohol in you little puff” he winked and poured you a shot of who knows what, you smelled the foul drink and it made your nose burn “come on do ittt” he cheered on and you held your nose throwing the shot back gagging at the taste. “how do people enjoy that” you made a face at him “like this” he replied taking two shots himself, “now catch up” he winked pouring you yet another
“if i didn’t know any better id say you’re trying to get me drunk matt” you laughed and he looked at you amused “obviously that’s what im trying to do it’s a party” he put the shot glass to your lips and you parted them taking the burning substance down your throat, “eugh that didn’t get any better the second time” you shook your head in disgust. “hm, let me make you an actual drink” he grabbed a clear liquor and a red juice mixing them together adding more alcohol than your past two shots and handed it to you
“matt this smells foul” you looked up at him, “just try it trust me the slytherins have the masking drink down” he winked and you reluctantly took a sip, and to your surprise all you tasted was juice. after taking another few sips you quick began drinking it and mattheo pulled the cup from your lips “slow down there this shits dangerous you’ll get so drunk you won’t be able to walk straight” he chuckled. “it’s not my fault they made it taste like juice” you shrugged still sipping.
“hey mattheo have your little hufflepuff take some shots with us” enzo threw his arm around your shoulders and mattheo pushed them off almost immediately “no she doesn’t need any shots” he spoke “you didn’t even ask me” you protested, granted you didn’t necessarily want to take any shots you just didn’t like being talked for. “oo are you sure you’re not slytherin you got an attitude” enzo laughed handing you a shot and you looked at mattheo who rolled his eyes as you took the shot.
throwing the shot back the burning sensation took over your throat and you could feel it rushing down your throat. you coughed a bit and chugged your drink for comfort “puff you’re going to get shitfaced slow down” matt fully took your cup this time and you were already feeling it. giggling looking up at him “okay now who was going to tell me party’s are fun” you continued giggling.
the music started playing and the slytherin common room was now getting more and more packed. you saw fifth year students and up in here, even a few ravenclaw and hufflepuffs your recognized. to your surprise in the corner of the party you spotted cedric diggory talking to a group of girls holding a drink.
pansy noticed your head being stuck in a certain direction and followed your eyes “oh em gee, someone’s got their eyes on a certain hufflepuff” she winked shoving her shoulder at your “shhhhh he’s just nice to look at” you giggled at her and she giggled along “you two would be soo cute” she added dragging you back to the drinks
“let’s take some shots!” she exclaimed handing you two , you took them smiling and shot them back with her, a woo leaving her mouth. “here chaser, chaser!” she shouted handing you another drink this time what looked like a lot of the punch, downing it all she laughed “girl we’re gonna be gone”. looking around you were seeing doubles of everything but didn’t want the night to already end.
“so, are you a virgin?” pansy shouted over the music making your already alcohol flushed face even redder “pansy!! you can’t just ask that!!” you shouted back flustered at the intrusive question, “i’m only curious girl” she giggled and gave you begging eyes “come onnnn” she shook you till you gave in “fine yes i am but don’t tell anyone!” you replied back as lowly as you could over the music
“who would you lose it to?” she giggled “i lost mine to blaise hehe sshhhh” she winked, considering she just told you her secret you felt obligated and just looked around “i mean i guess cedric” you giggled as she pointed at him after your response. before she could say anything else you felt a pair of hands wrap around your waist and drag you off. trying to kick your way out was useless and they brought you to an empty dorm.
through all of this you couldn’t tell who it was kicking and screaming for them to let you go till you heard mattheos voice “puff calm down it’s just me” he sighed putting you down on what you now assumed was his bed “why did you bring me in here that was so scary” you huffed trying to gain your composure. “diggory?” he scoffed not answering your question.
you looked at him confused as to what he was on about “what do you mean? what about cedric” you cocked your head to the side in confusion “you lost your virginity to him??” he questioned stepping closer to you looking rather.. pissed. you just laughed in response “me? lose my virginity to cedric?.. you’re funny” yeah you fantasized about it but it certainly wouldn’t happen.
“what were you talking to pansy about then??” he looked at you unconvinced, “she asked if i lost it and i said no, but id let him take it.-“ you shrugged “besides you know i tell you everything matt i’ve never even had a boyfriend let alone a guy be interested in my virginity” you sighed laying back onto the bed now feeling upset.
you heard mattheo sigh and you picked your head up to look at him, his eyes stared back at you in silence before breaking it “believe me there’s a lot of guys who want to get in your pants” he rubbed his fists and you gave him a confused expression yet again “what are you on about matt?” you were getting sober just from all of this extra mystery.
he walked over to the bed sitting beside you, “listen when we met you were just.. blooming completely and i would be lying if i didn’t say i first went up to you because of your looks.. well overtime you know we became friends and i noticed other guys staring in ways they shouldn’t have been so i had to teach them a lesson.” he looked at you and yo didn’t know how to respond to something like that.
“what exactly are you saying matt?” you didnt understand what he was poking at, did matt mean to say he basically likes you? were you reading too much into this? “look y/n, no one else in this school fucking deserves you. hell i don’t deserve you but i know i can treat you how you need. don’t ask me what took so long to confess to you y/n, but do you feel even remotely the same?” he let it all out quick and fast, and your mouth dropped.
“you want.. me?” you looked at him in disbelief and he just smiled “that’s what that whole speech was about, yeah” he chuckled nervously awaiting your reply “why?” you sighed still slightly unconvinced “have you fucking seen yourself puff? you’re so undeniably gorgeous, i don’t know how i hold myself back from you everyday” he leaned in closer to you making this all seem more real. without thinking you allowed yourself to lean into him, faces and lips meeting for the most magical first kiss you could’ve ever imagined.
“you’re so fucking beautiful y/n” he grabbed your face pulling you closer to him till you straddled over his lap sitting down continuing the now makeout. “this is so much better than.. imagined” you huffed through the kisses. you could already feel mattheos member growing beneath you and you never thought you’d be the one experiencing this from your best friend.
you’d be lying if you didn’t admit to a fantasy or two about him in the past but this was already one thousand times better than ever imagined. mattheos lips kissed their way down your neck leaving small marks tiny moans leaving your mouth, “i need to hear more of that, y/n, let me eat you out.. please i need a taste” he continued his kisses along your neck bringing them back to your lips “i’ve never- mm yes” you replied as his fingers began making circles over your underwear.
“you sound so good fuck” he groaned pulling you off of him and getting off the bed, “you’re sure of this?” he questioned one last time and you just nodded impatiently awaiting his next move. next thing you knew he was yanking you to the edge of his bed and slowly removing your pants and underwear looking up at you from below. “holy fuck puff.. you’re fucking soaking” he breathed out over your pussy sending tingles down your spine.
without warning his mouth met your untouched area and you felt things never imaginable. his tongue made its way around your bulging clit, flicking it up and down and making his way to your entrance sucking and licking “you taste so good holy fuck” he huffed going right back in not even looking up at you, “can i put two fingers” he spoke from your pussy and you couldn’t even properly answer “mm y-yes” you replied between your moans.
you felt his slender fingers teasing your entrance and he slowly began inching one in and out teasingly, “mattheo-“ you huffed and he chuckled shoving both fingers in, loud moan escaping your mouth and this new feeling. he did a few different moments trying to figure out what makes you moan the most, soon his tongue was sucking expertly on your clit as his fingers twisters and curled inside of you.
“matt i want to.. try” you moaned at this pleasure wanting nothing more than to feel him inside of you now. “mm but you’re not ready yet puff” he continued devouring your pussy simply divulging in it as if he’d never eaten anything before. his pace on everything quickened and you were already near your own orgasm, “if you don’t s-stop i’m gonna cum” you moaned loudly trying to control yourself.
“let go for me sweetheart” he sucked harder on your clit, the nickname and action forcing your orgasm to flood over you harder than you’ve ever been able to make yourself experience. your body was shaking and you couldn’t hold your reactions back, mattheo slowly licked your gushing area clean before standing up “mm now i think you’ll be ready soon” he smirked leaning down over you, grabbing your chin and giving you a kiss.
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postcanon fics where they go on about political minutiae are truly so boring but it is really funny when lwj also expresses that. like 'fulfilling my bureaucratic duties in the wake of a catastrophic blow to the cultivation world is my second priority, my first priority is fucking my husband so hard he can't walk the next day ALWAYS'
#its annoying and for cql its ooc but there is something very funny about it#I don't think hed be a good politician either I hope he quits soon too#but hes not suposed to come out and SAY that#honestly a but torn on whether he enjoys the opportunity to impact more people on a larger scale#or he just misses night hunts and the straightforward cultivation hes used to#hes hardly a politician.#probably a bit of a mix of both#but wwx telling him to quit also feels irresponsible bc I KNOW he cares about like. the world#ficblogging
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