#heavy fucking sarcasm here. btw.

[gunpowder-tim]

oh no. im going to be late for my train.

[robin374]

I saw that your requests were open and I jumped into action lol

Any ideas for the Mercs and reader with an “only one bed” trope? (Love the stuff youve written btw <3)

One Bed Trope with the mercs (part 1)

I'm gonna start with Demoman because he is my husband and gets the privilege of being the first.

Demoman ❤️

He just wanted to sleep man 😭

When you two finished the assigned mission that Miss Pauling gave you two, you went to the hotel/motel (how do you call it in English?). When you entered the room the first thing you two saw was a single big bed, for two people.

You looked at Demo and he was awkwardly standing there. He couldn't believe his eye

👁️👄

"I'll sleep on the floor, don't worry Demo." "No, Y/N. I've slept in all kinds of places, I think I can handle sleeping on the floor" "And that's exactly why you are sleeping in the bed"

At the end, you two decide to sleep in the same bed. He couldn't help but feel nervous, like yeah, he has slept at the top of Edinburgh's castle. Or with some random seals at a random beach. But he's never slept with the person he's in love with.

With that said, he remembers those words his Mom told him once.

"You better get a job, Tavish!"

I could give him a good job-

I don't know why he remembered that, don't ask me.

HE'S SO WARM KSDKAODJAKL I feel like his body would be so warm, because of the amount of alcohol he consumes.

He snores a little bit. Just tiny tiny tiny tiny little bit. 🤏

Not as much as Heavy at least.

He's a heavy sleeper so good luck trying to wake him up

I feel like he would see it as an opportunity to confess his feelings. Like you two are talking while laying down in bed, and casually spits it out. By the time you realize what he said, he is already sound asleep, his back facing you.

"I'm in love with you, Y/N" "Hmm? What did you say? I didn't hear you *Scottish snoring*

Scout 🤡

HE DOES NOT HESITATE 🗣️🗣️

He knows what these situations are about and he will not let it slide so easily.

He doesn't even ask you if you are okay with sleeping with him, he just says "I'm so tired, let's sleep!" And he launches himself towards the bed.

He will pat the space next to him silently telling you to sleep too.

But then reality hits him like a rock, he is sleeping with you. He is really happy, any girl would've slapped him at tha exact moment, but you just accepted your fate.

He doesn't snore, but he does this thing that dogs do that is moving his legs as if he was running.

You better be a heavy sleeper because he talks while sleeping.

"Spy stole my chicken and now I can't eat my bullets. " "Scout are you awake?" "Fuck you Spy, I miss my chicken :("

He got so red when he woke up in the morning. You were still asleep, that's the first thing he saw after opening his eyes. He wanted to kiss you so bad.

"Good morning, toots. You've slept well?"

He's so in love with istg.

But he won't confess, he wants to keep this as a (really) good memory and confess after he's sure that you feel the same.

Scared of rejection I guess.

Engie 🤠

He's so casual about it.

He has to sleep in the same bed as his crush? Well, darn.

"It is what it is" energy.

You don't want him to sleep on the floor and he doesn't want you to sleep on the floor. Oh no, sadly we will have to sleep in the same bed :( (that's sarcasm for those confused)

"Come here, sugar, I don't bite." Unless you want me to.

He snores more than Demo sorry, it's bearable though. It's like having a horse next to you huffing and puffiing. A horse you don't mind to ride (ok I'll stop now sorry lmao)

He's like a teddy bear, he doesn't mind if you hug him. On the contrary, he will "unintentionally" pull you closer.

He would wake up in the middle of the night, because he's not used to sleeping like a normal person would do. So he will take advantage of it and admire your beautiful face. How the moonlight delicatedly lights your face, your closed eyes giving that feel of calmness... He will eventually kiss your forehead and go back to sleep.

He won't say a word about it in the morning. He will just greet you like always do in the base and get back to work.

In the inside he's screaming, dancing, running, whooping of joy. For him, it's one little step more to you being his pardner.

[sunboki]

— START TO FINISH a Han Jisung fiction

🧸 : Han Jisung x implied! fem. reader

TROPE. enemies to lovers, forced friendship, friends to lovers, angst, fluff

WORD COUNT. 6.2k ☆ 31 minute read

WARNINGS. lots of cursing, underage drinking(reader & han are 18, legal drinking age in korea is 19), making up, reader punches someone

AUG'S NOTES. i know i know, after so long the fic is finally here!(thank goodness) and i just remembered how @geneziesm was excited for this back in.. february?? so apologies for the wait sweetness, hope you don’t mind that i changed our love interest from changbin to jisung :’) btw, the cabin they’re staying in looks like this

PLAYLIST.

SYNOPSIS. From start to finish. That’s how you ended things with Han Jisung, starting with your fist balled up and ending with a slam right to his cheek. Or so you hoped. “I mean, they’re just kids, what could they do?” Was what both of your parents said as they spoke over the phone without you knowing. Without either of you knowing you learned later on, luggage in hand as you stared at the dangling road sign beside the cabin’s entrance. Gangwon Cabin, the place you’d be occupying with Han Jisung, your mortal enemy, for two months. It could be worse.. right? No. This was the worst it could be.

or alternatively :

Two months ago you were certain you’d hate Han Jisung forever, but what about now?

You’re. Fucking. Kidding me.

"You take one step into this room and I cut off every limb attached to your body, understood?" Is what you hissed at the boy who looked too smug standing in front of you.

"Awe, aren’t you just the sweetest?"

"Better yet, I could cut off your tongue."

"The more the merrier." He stuck out his tongue connivingly, earning a hard slam of the door right in the face.

You don’t care if you have to slam that door a billion more times to escape from him, you’d do it in a heartbeat.

Your only priority for these two months? Avoid Han Jisung at all costs.

Han Jisung is the boy that ate sand as a kid. You’re sure of it.

You’ve convinced yourself he somehow ate enough sand to where it creeped up into his brain and made him into a complete asshole for the rest of his life. A shame, really.

You didn’t know if that was true or not —though you wouldn’t be surprised if it was— but the theory served as a decent explanation of why he acted like an absolute piece of shit… For the most part.

Honestly, the hatred was sort of mutual. If you define mutual as in unspoken glares across the classroom and his malice-filled smile glittering right back at you, then yeah, mutual.

Starting from the moment you stepped into Mr. Jeong’s class and took your seat beside him, a blazing electric bolt strung itself between you two. And despite being unsure why, the bolt grew stronger without sign of stopping, alighting hatred and dislike.

Was it fair carrying the burning grudge? Not at all, but if Han Jisung kept egging you on like he always did, it would stay that way.

Except what was once anger noticed by only you quickly escalated into heated, gas-lit arguments the entire school heard—because Han Jisung found the perfect timing every time. Heavy on the sarcasm.

Best example? You had utterly bombed your chemistry midterm, one you tirelessly studied for as well when a shadow loomed over your desk belonging to none other than the Devil’s offspring himself (if you guessed anyone other than Han Jisung, you’re dead wrong).

"I wouldn’t recommend crying in class, but that grade is pretty shitty so if you need a shoulder, I've gotcha sweetheart." He cockily pats his shoulder while sending you a wink, and you couldn’t believe someone would so blatantly ask for a broken nose, yet here you are.

Trust that your list of reasons to plan a burial for the seat-mate goes on as long as you breathe.

And apparently, whatever chemical reaction you’d fucked up during the exam turned out to be highly explosive on a Friday afternoon, unfortunately without the addition of Han’s broken nose. You were close though.

That day he picked. Picked and picked and picked enough that your fist found itself smashed against his jaw, the boy’s hand immediately coming up to shield the wound. Instantaneously, the classroom became noiseless apart from the sound of blood pumping in your ears and Jisung’s heavy breathing.

"Han Jisung, Ln Yn, go to the office. Now!" Mr. Jeong called from the doorway, noticeably out of breath from his brambled hair and glasses askew upon his nose.

The customary lecture about how you should "never resort to violence" was nothing new for the both of you, Counselor Kim’s furious tapping of her foot reflecting the glare she burned your way. From the other side of the room Han sat on the patient-bed, a bandage sized to his cheek covering where you’d unapologetically swung all your frustration. You had zero remorse and would continue to have zero remorse. Forever.

"For the love of god what are you two standing there for?! Apologize. This. Instant!" And with the final crack in her flaming attitude she stomped out the door, fanatically shaking her head with dismay.

Ravaging every advantage, you sauntered towards the boy, releasing a heavy sigh just to announce your 'sincerity' first and foremost. Now was prime time to sugar him up, and you’d be sure not to take it for granted.

Stepping forward, you lift your head to deliver a faux smile.

"I’m so sorry for everything I’ve ever done to you leading up to this, especially after punching you in a spot that won’t heal for a long time because you never deserved that and most definitely did nothing wrong." Delighted to finally be pushing his buttons just as he did yours, you plaster the most guilty expression you can manage, voice dripping with lies.

Jisung breathes a rather bored sigh.

"Nice try."

Geesh, he’s exasperating. Take a hit for once, why don’t you.

"You want me to pray for your forgiveness or what?" Managing to omit the derogatory nickname attached to your sentence, you spare a hasty glance at Ms. Choi, the nurse who every other male at the school had a crush on. She types into her laptop at an alarming pace—fortunately either ignoring or oblivious to your brewing cat-fight.

The boredom appears to leave him instantly for a reason you couldn’t guess. Regardless, you knew it meant bad news.

Exasperating. He is unbearably exasperating.

"'Didn’t think you were that in love with me, but no. I want you to give me a kiss," Using the hand he’d previously ran through his hair, he pointed to his cheek. "Right here."

Is no one else hearing this? He’s not serious .. right? And why are your hands sweaty?

"Bullshit."

Aha, there’s the usual Oxford graduate vocabulary. Let’s hope Ms. Choi didn’t hear anything.

"Sadly. Worth a try though." Jisung deflates, swinging his legs around aimlessly. He’s daring from a point you can’t figure out. His inability to piss you off is easy to discover, but there’s something else there—a word your finger keeps skipping over.

Then suddenly, in the midst of observing your lost-in-thought expression, he piques with realization. By the time you notice, all your earlier remorse voluntarily throws itself out the window. Not that there was any remorse anyway. Definitely.

"Wait- don’t tell me you’re actually going to apologize, hold on I need to record this—"

"SHUT UP! I’m leaving, have a good evening Ms. Choi." The poor woman jumped out of her skin, shakily bowing farewell as you stormed from the infirmary, seething rage billowing out both ears.

Your walk home lasted much longer than usual, probably because you didn’t even want to step foot on the property; wanted to savor every moment of fresh air before seeing your parents in their fury glittering glory.

Unbeknownst to you, they’d already gotten the call—four hours ago, to be exact. Though you didn’t realize that’s how long you’d been procrastinating, and neither did Han Jisung, who was doing the same thing.

Except while you walked around killing time, he occupied a swing at the old neighborhood playground, humming a tune to himself.

So as you turned the corner, the last person you expected to be there was there, seeming quite aloof as he gazed off into the distance.

"What’re you doing?"

You swore he leaped a solid foot into the air, hand frantically clutched to his chest as if you were the doctor telling him he wasn’t allowed to jack off anymore.

"Jesus! You scared me. I should ask you the same thing," Han grumbled, lips pulled into a taut pout.

This momentary peacefulness, or whatever isn’t hostility occupying the space between you is gross considering you’d socked him mere hours earlier, still able to make out the light bruising scattered along his jaw.

You kick off some of the mulch lingering atop your shoelaces. "Procrastinating going home, you?"

Laughing bitterly, Han settles back into the swing. "I guess that’s something we can agree on," He says, causing you to sort of falter.

Sadness lingers in his tone and you can’t decipher it, not when your average Han Jisung would be rearing to tease you. Instead, he remains quiet enough that when your phone buzzes in your pocket, you flinch.

"I’ve gotta go. This is the eighteenth time she’s called, I wish I was joking." You breathe through your nose, staring at your mom’s number flickering atop the screen.

Why you even dismissed yourself you don’t know. It was Han Jisung, why did you bother? You should’ve acted spiteful and left him at that. But you couldn’t. Not when he seemed so.. miserable. You staved down the gnawing guilt.

"What color do you want to wear in your casket, I’ll be sure to tell your parents."

Well there goes any chance of being nice.

"I hate you," You automatically snarl, spewing those words as if they had no weight anymore.

Looks like everything is back to normal, for now.

Currently standing at the doorstep, you thought back to all the excuses you’d used in the past and which one seemed suitable this time around. Which one would, hopefully, secure your life for another day.

There’s the truly heroic "he was insulting you guys! Saying you didn’t raise me right!" that would earn a bit of sympathy, or maybe you could even go bigger and say he was threatening to rob you and— the door opened. Shit.

"Come in! Tell me about your day at school." Your mother, strangely enough, smiled.

Okay. What the fuck is going on. Where’s the berating and disowning threat, seriously.

"Aren’t you mad?" You skittishly ask, only receiving a swift jerk of her head signaling for you to come in.

Hence, you tentatively, like an ax would strike you at any moment, obediently tip-toe into the living room, glancing around cautiously.

She finds her spot on the couch beside your dad and you nonchalantly shift a good distance from the two, just to be safe.

Who knows, perhaps they’d planned collaborative man-slaughter.

"Oh no, we’re livid, but we talked about it and have a fantastic idea that we’re sure will help!" Help what, you’re not sure. All you know is that this cannot possibly end well. 

Your ungodly hour wake up was the first unfortunate event, basically being shoved into the car to who knows where and before you knew it, the sunlight illuminating the road in front of you became shrouded with shadows of tall alpines looming overhead. They spared no hint as to what their "fantastic idea" was yesterday, so the jury ruling your case as a third-degree murder was only something you could wonder from the backseat. Something you could wonder for a long, long time.

Thankfully, decades later, the vehicle eventually came to a halt and your parents wasted no time shoving you just as easily as they did into the car, outside of the car. Adjusting to the brightness, you find yourself facing a building only definable as a cabin from the wooden exterior and forest surroundings.

A creative collaborative homicide, definitely.

"We’re here~" Your mom calls from the passenger seat, helping unload stuffed suitcases from the trunk.

Suitcases. Lovely.

Alright, staying here for a while doesn’t sound too bad aside from the feeding yourself part. Yogiyo Food Delivery could find their way here, surely. You’d just have to give a generous tip, that’s all.

Clapping her hands together a little too excitedly, the woman pats your shoulder, gesturing to the abundant amount of luggage your dad heaved to the entrance, or wherever the rickety door leads.

Hold on, whose car is that parked beside yours?

Almost like she read your mind, her brows lift cartoonishly as you follow the click of a car door opening in unison.

"Oh! Right! Now we wanted to make sure this would be beneficial for both of you, so we invited Han’s parents to have him stay with you for these two months!"

Haha.

You’re dreaming. This is all a dream. Because Han Jisung did not just get out of that Kia, and she did not just say two months.

Automatically, your hands fly into the air, willing to battle your way out of this one if that’s what it takes.

"You’re leaving me here? Are you serious-what’re you-Hey! Don’t drive away!" Before you can open your mouth the two cars back out of the dirt road without so much as a goodbye to the children they’d utterly abandoned, might you add the children that wanted nothing more than to bury each other a day ago.

And so, the two months of summer hell began.

..Albeit, out of all your troubles, the scenery wasn’t too hellish opposed to the internal screaming echoing around your skull.

Instead, serene, comfortable sound consumed the wilderness surrounding the cabin, filling your ears with the hum of evening birdsong and water trickling from the river below. At least that part was tolerable.

You perch on the edge of the railing and listen, trying to distract yourself from your mind for a moment—allowing you to bask in a billion thoughts you wished to drown out.

Han had already gone inside without even a hello (not that you expected one), seeming to feel the same amount of hopelessness as you did after hearing your fate. Peaceful, until the creaking patio door opening rips every inch of calmness right out of your grasp.

"The view is nice, isn’t it."

Stop it. Stop talking like we’re friends. It’s not normal. We are not normal.

The sensible part of your mind tells you this is how people that don’t go for the throat talk, but you can’t convince yourself to communicate like that. Not with your history, not now.

"Nice without you interrupting me." Your grip tightened on the fence supporting you, refusing to even spare him a glance in fear of watching disappointment flood his frontal. You’d stab a stake through your chest before succumbing to him, before sympathizing his feelings.

"I’m going inside," you mouth, quickly slipping past him through the half-open door without another word.

Unforgiving. You are both very unforgiving. Or maybe it’s you, unable to forget about your grievances, unable to let go. For a second—closing the door behind you—you fear you’ll never be able to let go.

Radio silence inhabits the aged home, and you both hurry off to separate sides to digest everything’s awfulness in your own, unique ways. Han resorts to strumming the acoustic guitar he’d stuffed in his bag before leaving Seoul, and you, well, you cope, furiously pacing the room until exhaustion overtakes your limbs and you pitifully flop onto the floor.

The suitcases will have to rot outside tonight because leaving this spot, no less passing by the living area, meant Han Jisung exposure, the last thing your sour mood needed. You rationalize—you really do—but fleeting thoughts and whatever keeps itching your leg steal your chance of thinking positively.

Wait.

Alternatively, during what he assumes to be your sulking-about-how-life-isn’t-fair session, Han’s daily mug of coffee (the one he’d missed out on due to being forced up at the asscrack of dawn) was cut short thanks to a shrill scream. He hurriedly placed his beverage on the counter, racing to where you stood glued to the wall of the hallway, finger shakily pointing to a bug crawling along the floor.

Mischievously, Han crossed his arms over his chest, surveying the chaos that could ensue with a simple request. This was already off to a great start.

Why not get his fair share? Toying with you was way too fun after all.

"Y’know, there’s a great way to deal with this." He takes his last swig of caffeine while you basically crawl into your skin, impossibly backing up further from the skittering insect.

"And what would that be?"

Rookie mistake. He can tell you’re aware of exactly what he’s going to say next, already two steps behind him before you realize you can do anything about it. What to choose, what to choose.

Then, Ding! A marvelous idea strikes.

"I’ve always imagined the nickname Sungie would sound cute coming from you," he sings, dreadful anticipation vividly apparent. He’s having a blast.

Wrinkling your nose, your glare radiates nothing but red-hot animosity, patience walking a thin wire. Han loves every bit of it.

"What the hell are you talking abou—"

"You might wanna say it, that beetle is getting closer," He says, voice laced with devilish intent.

Unfortunately for you, life and death were the only ways to get through this. Naturally, you leaned closer to choosing death for the sake of your reputation, but life had to be an asshole and shatter your ego into a billion tiny pieces last minute.

"FUCK- Sungie- kill it now!" You shout, releasing a very frustrated scream you’re certain could’ve topped Regina George’s.

Beneficial? She called this beneficial?

"I knew it’d be cute,” He snickered, instantly covering the god-forbidden demon with his empty cup and grinning up at you with crescent moon eyes as if he hadn’t brutally manipulated your terror seconds before.

You hate him. Hate him hate him hate him.

God. You wanted to cry.

. ..

Jisung would’ve loved to see your reaction if he caused a ruckus so early, but he was being nice this morning, carefully traveling around the kitchen island to fill his thermos with water when he dropped the metal bottle and the loudest, most blaring screech echoed around the entire house.

Truthfully, it was an accident. Truthfully.

You wouldn’t believe him.

Not even a minute later, low and behold, the adorable grumpiness identified as you peeked out from a blanket burrito, noticeably seething from your bedroom door.

"It’s five in the morning you lunatic, what is so important that you’re leaving at five in the morning," you grumble, instinctively pulling your blanket tighter when he approached.

"You really want me to stay with you that badly, honey? All you had to do was ask~" You tiredly push away his kissy face leering close, clad in pajamas and not quite awake enough to put up with him.

He twirls the keys, stopping to dramatically blow you a kiss in the process.

"'M going on a run, don’t miss me too much,” Jisung waved, and with the click of the door closing behind him, he’s gone to who knows where.

His cockiness makes you roll your eyes as you begin whipping up some form of breakfast to satiate your stomachs complaints, knowing your chances of going back to bed were slim to nothing due to being woken up so mercilessly.

If he dropped what sounded to be a iron pipe to wake you up, thinking about what his next "alarm clock" would be gives you goosebumps. Yep. No going back to sleep for you.

Except the minute hand ticks by, and what used to be a short run turns into an uneasy feeling by the time the third hour rolls around.

Three hours and twenty minutes.. Three hours and thirty minutes.. Three hours and forty minutes..

Screw it, you’ll go looking for him.

"Jisung? Jisung, where are you!" Your shouting has to have echoed around the entirety of Gangwon at this point, stopping to catch your breath on the side of the never ending dirt pathway. Miles and miles you scour, gradually reaching a bench covered by a willow tree where you slump down, enjoying the swift moment of rest.

What you hadn’t expected enjoying your much needed break was to find the exact boy you were searching for, lying fast asleep in the shade.

Covering your mouth to mute your gasp, a string of mumbled curses fall off your tongue as you get up from your spot and hesitantly approach the sleeping beauty.

Oh so slowly you sit down in the grass, paying attention not to make too much noise from the crunchy leaves.

"It’s not fair that you’re pretty even when napping," You mutter, infatuated by his mesmerizing looks that seem to glow in the minimal light emerald leaves reflect.

That is, before his eyelashes dust and you noisily rush to your feet, flushing pink at an alarming pace. The prince-like beings' cheeks puff, blinking rapidly to clear the sleepy haze.

"Huh? Y/n, when did you get here? You’re red; are you okay—"

"Yeah. C’mon." You speed-walked ahead despite Jisung calling out for you to slow down, terrified he’d seen you or, worse, heard the things you’d said.

He stalls to pick up something and you experimentally glance back, noting a green color visible through the plastic bag he held. What’s inside is only recognizable by the clinking of glass colliding together.

"Did.. did you- is that…" Words pour without making sense, squinting accusingly at the bit of a label you can see reading "Chum Churum Soju."

Your bewilderment keeps you planted to the ground, scrolling through your mental list of possibilities explaining why it couldn’t be alcohol. And suddenly you genuinely question if Han’s delinquency appeared outside of school as well.

Surely, because the smirk painting his features when he caught sight of your shocked expression left no room to wonder.

"Won't it be fun?" He shakes the bag. "We’re irresponsible highschoolers anyways, and the grandma working there said it has the best flavor this time of year."

So that’s how he managed to get by without an ID. Of course.

Problem? One, you’re underage. Two, who knows if someone found out. Three, you had no goddamn clue what you were like drunk, and the last thing you wanted to happen was a detrimental mistake under the influence with Jisung. Everything about this foreshadowed disaster, how he couldn’t figure that part out was beyond you.

Or maybe he wanted disaster to strike, maybe it was all a part of his plan, the cherry on top to ruin your life permanently.

Yeah, you’re not letting even a drop enter your system.

"Aigoo— don’t cry," Han whines, obviously a bit tipsy, though compared to you who’s almost completely wasted (rocking back and forth while spilling nonsense to nobody in particular), he’s basically sober.

It was an accident, you swear. You couldn’t help it, he called you a coward and dared you to a drinking contest that put your precious pride on the line—leading into this shithole of a situation in the first place. Backing down meant ultimate defeat, and knowing you had at least three more weeks stuck here narrowed down the last option available.

"'M not crying asshat.." You sob, hand feebly hitting the table in a pitiful show of aggression. Your brain is fuzzy and everything feels so weird and dizzying. Then you feel it.

Oh no. Word vomit. You can’t stop it.

"I just don’t think it’s fair, Jisung," You blurt, Han blinking tiredly upon hearing his name. "You have such a pretty face for such an awful person."

You’re babbling now, blurily viewing multiple emotions unfold prior to opening his mouth. You guess in some way he heard what you said below the willow tree, even as a drunk confession.

"You.. You think I have a pretty face?" Though seconds after he finishes speaking you lean across the table to press your index against his lips, the boy’s eyes growing to the size of saucers.

"Shut uppp, I don’t wanna hear your voice, ever." Interrupting the question, you wobble to your feet, grip fumbling on the chilled door knob before blindly plowing into the room and collapsing on your mattress.

Meanwhile, Jisung attempts to stop you. Keyword: attempts. He does, almost there, and then the carpet trips him somehow (his own way of pretending he didn’t slip over nothing) and he’s kissing the floor, exhaustion immediately numbing his entire alcohol-ridden body till he succumbs to oh so welcoming sleep.

Gasping awake, a rampaging headache greets his skull, unevenly carrying himself to grab a barely there cup of water that’ll hopefully ease some tension. He assumes this must be a hangover, and man, it’s more of a pain than he thought.

The Jisung back in Seoul wouldn’t be able to fathom getting drunk at noon before ending up here, a place that was certainly not home. Well, the Jisung back in Seoul wouldn’t be able to fathom getting drunk at noon along with waking up on the floor, being stuck in this place with you, and an entire collection of things he couldn't name off the top of his head.

Being completely honest, he’s amazed he hadn’t slept the rest of the day and night after earlier, filled with crude small talk and stolen alcohol sipped from styrofoam cups. And you calling him pretty, that too.

Said styrofoam cups scatter in disarray all over the floor, evidence of how drunk you’d both got that painted quite an impressively messy picture.

There’s not much to see staring through the fogged window; Gangwon’s relentless humidity leading to a nearly impossible view of the lake outside. Though he doesn’t mind. In fact, knowing that no one can find him here, you and him, isn’t too bad. No teachers looming over him, nor were his parents reprimanding him for grades slightly below perfect.

Although in the midst of his headspace, a floorboard creaks exceptionally loud and you stand, rocking back and forth on your heels and gazing at him through half-lidded eyes he can’t quite read. What he distinctly spotted, however, was the smile casually gracing your lips. A dreamy, loopy smile that told him something wasn’t exactly normal.

"Sungie.."

Han cranes to hear what you say, bewildered by the nickname you swore to never utter. Were you still drunk? You had to be, or you wouldn’t have approached him with open arms like that to bury your head into his chest where he feared you’d hear his hammering heartbeat—frozen stiff as a board with your arms wrapped around him.

"Are.. are you still drunk?" Han timidly asks and you absentmindedly groan before your movement stops, the boy doing a double take in case you managed to pass out buried in his clothing.

Slowly, cautiously, he pulled you off of him, body curled in disgust due to the saliva staining his t-shirt where your face had been.

Yep. You had fully passed out while hugging him.

"Wow, how much did you have to drink again?" Laughing to himself, he struggles guiding you to the couch to sit down without stumbling over each other.

Propping a pillow behind your head, the boy hesitates, feeling a sort of déjà vu he can’t make sense of. Though quickly enough, he shakes off the phenomenon and begins raising up, but a softness threading through his fingers stops him in his tracks for a second time, and he has to blink multiple times to register what was happening.

Although appearing passed out still, your hand found its way to reach for his, holding onto his pinky so lightly, so carefully. The boy's heart pounded, collecting all of his self control to refrain from making decisions he'd regret.

"Stop. We can’t." Sentence trembling on his tongue, he steadily pulled away, nearly wincing when you shifted slightly.

You were only dreaming, you never would have done this if you were awake, he reminded himself, glancing back to where you lie once more as if you’d magically spring up and announce your undying love for him. Did he want that to happen? No, he’s just joking, just a joke. Right.

It hurts, he can’t name why.

He prays you don’t remember.

"Please tell me why it’s so freaking cold in the middle of July," You mumble to nobody, spotting your cell mate’s cabin mate’s backside crouched over the fire pit. What he busied himself doing you couldn't guess, unpredictably unpredictable.

Curiously, you shuffle to the window, observing the charcoal he added before flicking the lighter and setting the lumber ablaze, flames licking at the dark sky above. Starting at age ten you learned curiosity killed the cat, but never did you think it killed humans as well. That was, prior to Jisung noticing you watching him. Astonishingly, however, he motioned for you to come out, refraining from the average jerk behavior on this occasion.

Unpredictably unpredictable, like you said.

"Have you given up yet? Hating me, I mean." Appearing beside the lawn chair you had cozied into, he tossed a few additional branches into the brewing flames, dropping down to warm his hands. Apparently, you don’t remember. Only Jisung would realize that.

"You talk about it like it’s a choice." Stuffing your hands inside your coat pockets, you avoid him per routine. Confidence comes easier that way, especially with him—someone you’re weak for.

You’d never admit that.

"It’s not?"

Your tongue pokes at the flesh of your cheek, ticked.

"You don’t seem to understand the hell I go through every day I come to school. Han Jisung, you give me every reason to hate you," You state coldly, fists clenching and unclenching where he can’t see.

This argument is fearful. You both glare at anything but each other, turning away from mere face-to-face contact in fear you’d apologize. Jisung is always first to look, first to try understanding.

Those times are never noticed by you, someone who doesn’t give in.

"But we're not in school anymore; we’re free in a cabin in the middle of Gangwon. So could you at least pretend to not hate me?" He looks. Looks at each minuscule twitch of your mouth, the soft cupid's bow perfectly carving your lips. Han scolds himself. He gets lost in you sometimes, a habit. Times that he’s glad you avoid him, unlike now, desperately needing you to see.

"Pretend? Did you say pretend? You’re fucking insane thinking I can just pretend nothing has happened. You think I can walk away from all this like it’s nothing, because I'm nice and sweet and do anything for anybody? You’re heartless, Jisung."

The boy hastily clutched onto the sleeve of your puffer jacket as you got up, fanning flames revealing your broken expression.

You shakily inhale, tears unconsciously slipping down your cheeks. This is the last thing you wanted, to end up crying in front of him. But here you are, walls crumbling down.

"Stop trying to make us right when we’ll lead to a bad ending."

You tremble and his grip loosens automatically, lingering there.

"Look at me."

"Let me go."

"Look at me, please."

You foolishly look like he did. Look and note how deep the pools of dusky caramel dancing in his eyes are. Look and pinpoint the mole residing on the right side of his face, effortlessly close to pretty pink lips. Look and admire the sweet curve of his eyes complimented by the shape of his brows, furrowed with sadness that match the tone you’d heard that day you found him on the swing.

You curse your hiccuping, delving into the softness of his palm while his thumb delicately swipes your tears. He’s warm. Han Jisung, though you never thought you’d say it, is warm to the touch.

"We’re not leading to a bad ending, Y/n. You want a bad ending because of what I’ve done, so you can feel like your anger is justified. This is my fault, and I’ll take responsibility, so give me a chance to fix it and quit burdening yourself because of my mistakes, okay?" He tips his head, tenderly caressing the delicate tear-stained skin beneath your lower lashes.

Today, tonight, everything you ever believed about Han Jisung was proven wrong.

His perception and his kindness, which you didn’t even know existed, forged through the surface and tore your heart in halves. He’d revealed himself to you and in actuality, he always had; you just closed your eyes.

But today, tonight, he didn’t let you close them; he held them open to see him, see his apology, see his acceptance—and it gave you no choice but to comply, to nod your head and trust him, something you’d never done before.

You take a seat again, yet the stifling company isn't stifling anymore, and a sensation akin to relief floods the brisk air surrounding Gangwon cabin. He brings you tissues and you say thank you, it’s new. He smiles and you smile back, it’s new as well.

You’ve never liked things you were unfamiliar with, but this is okay.

For once, being around Han Jisung feels okay.

"..Did it hurt?"

He blinked, fixating you with a confused stare.

"When I punched you, did it hurt?"

Slowly, his mouth stretched into a grin, chuckling. That’s new too, you think you like it the most so far.

"Like a bitch."

. ..

You’d say your relationship evened out, not finding an incessant need to respond with something even nastier. It was weird at first, coexisting and all. Weird being so friendly, despite the annoying banter paying occasional visits.

Better, better this way.

The moon rose up high in the sky only to settle, and you’d periodically climb to the top of the house in a way Jisung had taught you, hand placed on your back reassuringly as you climbed the cob-web infested windowsill up to the roof. You’d also say that gesture didn’t affect you. You lied.

Nonetheless, the rooftop "dates" helped you appreciate how bright and brilliant the twinkling balls of fire were after being pulled out here where artificial light is infinitely scarce compared to Seoul’s amusement park of electricity.

"That," Jisung points, finger drawing an imaginary line connecting specific stars lighting up the sky. "Is the constellation Cygnus, it’s Greek for swan. When I studied in Malaysia there was a great hill to stargaze, that’s where I learned about them."

You nod, savoring the otherworldly view paired with his voice.

Comfort. He’s comfortable telling you about himself. Your heart feels happy.

"I always thought Lyra and Cygnus would make a good couple," he says, beats of a silence passing before you burst into a fit of giggles, the boy raising up to lean on his elbow appearing quite offended.

A constellation? He thinks constellations would make good couples?

Han Jisung is full of surprises.

"Yah I’m serious! They’d be perfect together! It’d be romantic and sweet and— you’re mean." He whined playfully, suppressing his own laughter noticing how hard you were trying not to laugh.

Quietness, silence if you must, replaces the once child-like conversation. Not the I’m-counting-the-seconds-to-your-funeral type silence that occurred daily prior to your campfire crying/make-up session, but a calm silence.

"Could you imagine what the kids back home would say?" He breathes his words airily whilst admiring your eyes staring up at the sky—twinkling. To him, those eyes hold the galaxy in them. Eyes that weren’t introduced to him until recently, on a night he’s certain he’ll remember for the rest of his life.

"We’re not home, we’re free, like you said." You don’t glance at him and ironically, he can’t stop gazing at you. You move and he watches, enraptured by this. Whatever this may be.

Ah, he’s staring again. Lost in you again.

Abruptly, your dramatic sputtering successfully pulled his head out of the clouds, splatters of water began to dapple your once dry bodies. But as you prepare to ease down and go inside, he lightly grabs your wrist with a sweet look, convincing you, if only for a few minutes, to stay.

"You’re crazy, Jisung." You laugh, expression breaking into the most breathtaking beam Han had ever seen. If someone were to take a picture of Jisung right now, he’s certain his irises would be heart-shaped. And in that moment he swore he’d never fallen in love harder before. Falling in love he’d write about on pages of a journal, photograph with his polaroid back home. Falling in love soaked with rain on the roof of a cabin, stargazing without clocks to tell you what time it is.

You’re drenched, he’s soaked. He wants to kiss you, you want to kiss him. Then you remember you’re still learning this entire "normal people" concept and he’s supposed to tread carefully when it comes to you, but everything fits so well and your lips sort of connect and you can’t let go.

He wishes he could stay in this moment forever.

Your hands in his hair, his cupping your face, head tilted to gain easier access while leaning against his side. Endlessly close.

Han is like spring, like daffodils blooming their hidden colors deep in a field. You might get frustrated searching, but once you find and pluck the flower from long stalks of grass, its petals will shine eternally.

Rain is pouring, pelting his already messy overalls and leaving strands of ash blond stuck to his forehead, lips pulled so high up he can’t think straight.

He smiles and you do too and things feel right, righter than they had in a long time.

Young kids sure act stupid when you leave them alone for too long.

He wouldn’t take it back for the world.

.. .

"Ready to go?" Referring to the doorway, he waited for you by the door, brown hues carrying emotion you chose not to acknowledge.

"Yeah, um, get home safe and text me sometime, whenever you’re not busy, I mean." He nods a response, stupidly happy face earning your harmless scowl in the process of helping push your luggage through the door.

Different. Remarkably different from how things were before. Two months ago you would’ve hated this, hated anything to do with him.

Different, it was different now. Better, better this way, like during stargazing.

He turned left and you turned right, opposite directions towards where your parents stood, towards the cars that would travel far from here. You’d drive, drive and drive back to Seoul carrying new feelings and new conversation, new love.

And from a peculiar standpoint, Gangwon Cabin was your start to finish with Han Jisung. Starting with a punch to the face and ending in a way you could never have imagined that one summer in high school.

sunboki, may 2022 ©

FIC TAGLIST. @ren0325 @lix-ables @babrieeee @azurez @soobnny @weird-bookworm @q1sng @telesvng @ren0325 @hello-stranger24

[rinasdigitaljournal]

evening thoughts: inspo hit me like a truck

since being back at college, i have gotten so much inspo for arcane characters that it's insane really?! with my scheduling being reading heavy, i get to read a lot of different works that turns my creative noggin by ten fold and i feel like i have to share.

currently working on: my string is connected to yours. (older gf! sevika x college students! reader, red string theory, meet cute, oneshot)

and then other work inspo that i have..

sevika smut: fucking in a headlock with quote, "If you’re hungry, stay still. I’m going to feed you." and if you recognize where this quote is from not only are you a FREAK but mwah here's a kiss.

melvika: inspired by the egyptian love poem "my god, my lotus" (princess!mel x knight!sevika) if you read this poem...you are a scholar for real but if you HAVEN'T i will link it to the post so you can divulged in some good literature. i'm very excited to write this one!

ambessa x ex-wife!reader porn with plot: inspired by false god (taylor swift) because it came on while i was reading my god, my lotus and i stopped mid read and my brain started going and going. so yea...i'm also excited for this one!

but yeah, i felt the need to share bc i love sharing my business on the internet i guess (pure sarcasm btw) but also i'm just genuinely excited to write all of this!!

[bnnuy-wabbit]

Cunospig -> bnnuywabbit

Name's Lago. I'm 22.

My art tag is #feral art tag

My asks and messages are disabled due to spam. If you want to contact me you can send me asks in any of my other blogs (Like @marmenlade, that's my OC/aes blog), send a submission and pretend it's an ask, tag me anywhere and/or comment on any of my posts INCLUDING THIS ONE, call my actual real phone number in real life, scream my name really loud or even reach to me through the ether. Seriously. Feel free to talk to me if you so happen inhabit a human shaped shell at this moment in time.

I'm prone to note spamming mutuals btw! I personally love being note spammed. It's a love language. To me.

If you happened to stumble upon this blog, you Must Know that I'm obsessed with many things like Sandman as of writing this post!

I'm Brazilian. As in from Brazil. As in Born There and Living There till my eventual demise, possibly. If you also happen to be one of those or adjacent, feel free to hit me up. É nois 🤙

I treat my blog as an open diary. There'll be cool things about my life and things in excited abou t and things that make me upset and general life shit. I also talk a lot about my little brothers endeavors because i love him and he's my little creature. If any of this or the stuff i blog about bothers you, i recommend not following. Also this blog contains adult stuff because im an adult, so follow at your own risk and/or pleasure! I think you should be in control of what you use your eyes to look at. I ain't a cop.

More info under readmore!! But only if you feel like it.

Other than the aforementioned, i have Many other interests that Can and WILL show up here, like:

My OCs and worldbuilding

Portal

Half life and hlvrai

Disco Elysium

Stranger Things

Homestuck

Whump stuff

FNAF

Literally whatever show and game im currently watching or playing.

SO, so many bands

I'm VERY into music. My favorite genres are 00s pop, industrial, heavy metal when it's a joke, classic rock, synthpop and mpb. I love learning more about music and getting to know new music genres. Autism list moments. Feel free to throw some at me!

Random info: I use emojis and smileys unironically. I just love to pepper my texts with some emotion here and there. I promise there's no sarcasm associated to my emojis and smileys. If i send i smiling smiley i Mean It. I also add !!!! To them if I'm particularly excited. Tone tags are confusing to me, I don't use them.

Regarding The Me: I'm queer and weird about it! My gender is completely none of my business. Also I'm an Artist and creator at heart, so i draw a lot, i like sculpting things with clay and foam, i love doing collages, i like playing my guitar and sometimes i write fucked up things for fun because it's Fun, tho i wouldn't call myself a writer. I'm diagnosed audhd. I'm weird and not in a cutesy way sometimes, but at least I'm funny about it i think!

I'm uhhhh a med student with a background in AG/rural sciences (vetmed + fishing) which ig is kinda funny. The funniest thing about me is I'm an honest to god fishing technician. I have a fucking diploma in fishing. I have no idea how or why, it still baffles me to this day that i made it through fishing school!! I have plenty thoughts on the ag/fishing field as a whole and a bit of experience with Some Things. I've worked in a few labs and written and published a few papers and I've wanted to be a Real Scientist when i grew up since i was a kid :) I don't know what I want to be when I grow up now. Maybe work in emergency services or something. Or maybe. Perhaps do something research related. I am Nosey.

I'm surprisingly a bit shy, even though nobody believes me when i say it! I'm getting over it, though. Please feel free to send an message somewhere asking for my discord if you'd like to chat. My messages are off for nonmutuals because I'm tired of getting spambots and my asks also. But i post a lot. Seriously just respond and go like 'oh hey can i DM you' and I will DM YOU. One thing i MUST state upfront if you'd like to talk to me and be friends: I'm trying to get better at talking to people. I'm soooo not very good at it. Don't blame yourself if our conversations fall flat. Talking and initiating conversations with people is Hard, but I'm alright at keeping conversations going if you tell me about your likes and dislikes or if you wanna do small talk! My cheat sheet is: Talk to me about your favorite weather, your timezone, what you like learning more about, about your country and culture or your favorite types of music and your favorite bands! Tell me about yourself, please!!! ALSO. Talk to me about fandom. Feel free to complain about petty things, I do enjoy a good complaint. And passionate rants. I'm told i can be cool to talk to if we get to know each other, I'm told I'm a very trusting, agreeable and judgementless individual. I like to believe that is true. To be fair, I'm eager to make new friends and learn more about people and we'll surely bond over something, I'm absolutely sure 🥰.

I have a lot of blogs. Like a LOT. I'm not going to link them all here, but they ARE linked to my main somewhere. Probably. Have fun collecting them all or something. It's wayyyyyy too many.

Here's my favorite one: @marmenlade

I think that's about it.

Updated: 7.jan.25

[blueberryhoneybadger]

Gurl, bad jokes brought us together, you know we’re going to be having fun 😏😉

Important fiancé questions: What do I call you? Honey? Favourite character or moment from the 100? How are you?

Hmmm not sure if honey is the right fit but we can do some trial and error until something fits. Babe, love, hun, honey ... even daddy if the moment called for it 😏😎😂. Definitely not princess, boo or pookie. The occasional dear/darling is ok. I'm sure my face will tell you if you've picked something that's not going to fly with me. haha

Favorite character from the 100. That's really hard. I obviously love Clarke and Lexa. We all got short-handed with the amount of personalities we got to see of Lexa, but we did get a lot of versions of Clarke and i love all of them. But beyond those two and them as a couple... I think my favorite person was Raven. She's sexy as fuck and doesn't take shit from anyone. She's basically the reason they all kept making it through and finding ways to survive. She's got fire and sass and grit plus a heavy dose of sarcasm. What's not to love?

One of my favorite "moments" or set of scenes is when Josephine embodies Clarke. The internal battle between them in Clarke's mind is great. Eliza Taylor's characterization of Josephine was brilliant. And the moments of Clarke taking back control of her body to try and get messages to the others were always so intriguing.

I also love Clarke in the later seasons. Short-hair Clarke who has basically lost everything and everyone hates her for one reason or another but she just keeps getting shit done and doing what she believes is needed to survive, regardless of everyone else.

I am good, btw. Just so so so swamped at work and haven't been able to take lunch breaks to catch up on everything here or update my #everyclexaAO3 posts. I don't tend to get on here at home since i try to spend as much time as i can with the family before bedtime routines, etc. We just finished some huge multi-day events at work so hopefully things will calm down.

How are you?

[tonberry-yoda]

YOO, i saw one punch man x reader and i immediately got my ass here, I've been looking for a opm matchup since ages.

Romantic matchup for OPM (obv)

I don't have a preference, but both is fine if possible. He/they

What i want out of a relationship:

is well something simple. A nice relationship, one where i can spoil my partner a lot, since i genuinely love doing that. I like giving headpats so yeah I'm just an overly affectionate person in a relationship, i will respect their boundaries if they do not like pda, i would mostly like one where my partner is like me in someway, as in like same type of personality or the polar opposite either way I'll still give them affection! However if they something like "don't" and actually mean "do it" I'll be in a lost cause so i end up just... Not giving affection. I'm quite oblivious and dumb as it is.

Personality:

I am very crabby, moody and hotheaded. I spend a lot of my time insulting and ranting about shit i find hilarious or interesting, often times rambling or complaining. I'm extremely short-tempered and will become enraged with anything although sometimes i can be comical and childish at random times.

I am one foul mouthed motherfucker, i have a habit of cursing, either regular swear words or the most absurd sounding swear words come out of my mouth. (E.G. : “you blithering feculent shithole” “primitive fuckjam” “putrid shitsmoking cretins” “you dickreeking undulating fuckass” “fucksquatting pain in the waste chute” “heinous ravaging trash" “reprehensible sanctimonious jitterfuckery.”) I am completely incapable of uttering a single word without fucking cursing.

I also tend to be very loud, i have a hard time being aware of my volume and adjusting it. I also go on heavy romcom binges, my favorite one to binge is 50 First Dates.

I am often screaming, pounding my fists against inanimate objects out of sheer fucking anger, or generally raging when talking to anyone. I'm not particularly patient when explaining myself, most of my advices seem to be just a massive wave of random insults along with sarcasm and heavy emphasis on it.

Despite my nubby asshat demeanor, i care deeply for my friends' well being, i will genuinely cry if something happened to them. I do litsen to their problems and comfort them in my own way and attempt to keep everyone safe. And despite my rash behavior, i do have a sense of morality and will occasionally do the right thing any normal person would do.

I also have a knightly persona despite my constant use of profanity, any chance i get to act like a knight I'll take it. In a relationship i would literally just obey my partners orders like an actual knight to his queen/king. I would also kiss their knuckles while kneeling down, i study arachnology and carcinology.

I'm also a huge fan of Shakespeare, I'll occasionally use it in a comical sense or when acting as a knight.

Myself fashion-wise: straight up metalhead fashion, i dress intimidatingly and also to add the fact that I'm tall (like 6'5) except i have no makeup or piercings, and instead wear glasses. I for my look i keep my hair messy or well try to, since my hair is curly and already looks about as messy as a fucking bird nest built by a living tumor.

My type: i don't know yet, all i can tell you right now is that i like men and women.

MUSIC TASTE: It honestly varies. Mostly deathcore or black metal, or just sad break up songs. Then there's songs in my native language. Angsty songs about inferiority complex, corny romantic songs and UHM... CupcakKe, Sabrina Claudio and Ginuwine... 😭💀 i am on the ace/asexual spectrum but i just find their music interesting, Pony and All into You slaps tbh i litsen to them at like any time of the day, my playlist varies from angry metal to sad to angst to brazilian music to straight up horny music. It's basically a mess.

Love language: all the motherfucking affection, cuddling (I'm the little spoon btw) words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and affectionate teasing; with this i basically talk to my partner like how cat owners talk to their cats in that exact same baby voice saying the stupidest but yet endearing bullshit. Basically complimenting with teasing.

- god this is probably so long, and i apologize for that. - 🗡️ anon

I HAVE THE PERFECT PERSON FOR YOU! i read through this- oh also, real fast welcome to the party 🗡️ anon! it's super nice to meet you! :) ANYWAY BACK TO BUSINESS! I read through this and one person popped in my mind, who I adore and I hope you adore as well!

the person I chose for you is...

KING!

like in my head, y'all would literally be PERFECT together

you both have this metal head vibe, but softies deep down and AHH IM OBSESSED

he is big enough to hold you while cuddling and he would literally bury his face in the crook of your neck and it is so cute

he gets all flustered when you spoil him lol

he is just as affectionate as you, so yall are again, literally perfect

he definitely has the same music taste, like i just see it

Y'ALL LOOK SO INTIMIDATING OUT IN PUBLIC LMAOOO

like even if he is hugging onto your arm and giving you a ton of love, you guys will walk into a building and no one I MEAN NO ONE will mess with you

and seriously, you guys have so much in common

if you hear that something happened to him and it breaks your heart you will listen and cry, and he will do the exact same for you

LIKE THIS IS SO PERFECT! (look at me go lol)

he loves you to death and get's flustered when you show that love back because he's a cutie

also, if you're down, he'll play video games with you for hours and if not, you'll listen to music while he's just playin in the background

"I love you so much, King." You squished both of King's bright red cheeks and talked to him in a baby voice.

"N-No I'm not!" He got all flustered and tried to pull away from you, but immediately melted to your touch as you moved your fingers to his head, massaging his scalp.

"Yes you are." You smiled and pulled him close, pressed a kiss onto his lips. "I love you."

He opened one of his eyes and giggled. "I love you too." He pulled you into his giant arms and slammed the two of you on the couch. It quickly became a game of who could cuddle who, but eventually he won, making the two of you fall asleep softly, you pressed against his big chest and one of his large hands on your back.

[cios-correct-opinions]

so you’ve never spoken to a radfem in your life

im only answering this as a way to make this info publicly available btw any other asks within this vein will be deleted. just so yall know ahead of time

anyway

i actually have spoken to an unfortunate number of radfems in my lifetime, sadly. on varying levels of the indoctrination scale. all of these experiences have been largely negative based solely on the fact alone that their "goal" was to "save" me or w/e and "show me the error of my transgender ways". as if that's ever in good faith when used in any other argument w any other minority esp within the queer community ever lmfao. so understandably, they were quite distressing, especially when i was a kid.

here's the thing.

even if i weren't trans. even if i weren't nonbinary or a trans man, or in some alternate universe where i am AMAB, a trans woman/transfem. i'm still black. i know bioessentialist bullshit, where it comes from, and where it leads, intimately.

there is a reason why, even if individual radfems themselves deny this and/or aren't willing to engage in this behavior, largely, groups/organizations/whatever tf terms they're using to mask the fact that they're a violent hate group radfems use which are founded by and/or primarily made up of radfems self-identified or otherwise, are often seen or discovered to be in cahoots w white supremacist/n-zi/fascist/other racial "superiority" based regime fundamentalist/traditionalist groups. there is a reason. and it is not hard to see.

radfems are almost word for word in some cases simply re-packaging n-zi/white supremacist/KKK/race essentialist/facist/etc groups' ideology/"science"/teachings/misc. assorted bullshit under the sparkly guise of "feminism" and "female liberation" or "lesbian separatism" etc etc

it surprises me exactly not at all that radfems either dont care or arent aware or arent willing to address this issue. i expected that from those sad losers who are intent on blaming everyone but themselves for their problems, who insist that they aren't at all in any way responsible for feeding into the systemic oppression that is the patriarchy in reality, who insist that everyone BUT themselves examine their behavior/beliefs/etc.

who believe that the patriarchy would magically disappear if all those "Evil Male Penis-Havers" (heavy sarcasm) were simply systemically slaughtered(*) because it is easier for humans, historically as a species, to pick one group of people to call the Other, the "Them", and blame their problems on Them, and "if we just got rid of Them (code for: queers, black ppl, jewish ppl, native american ppl/indigenous ppl worldwide/disabled ppl/mentally ill ppl, etc etc the list goes on and on and fucking on), all of our problems would go away too!"

i expected this from them. cool. fine. they're easy to block bc they make it obvious who they are from their incredibly visually unappealing and often straight up inaccessible, but nonetheless telling, blogs.

i'm just disappointed in the supposedly anti-radfem crowd, esp my fellow trans and nonbinary folk n other queers, who blindly follow the radfem ideology, and then when it is pointed out to them, regardless of how kindly it is done or how nicely or privately etc, unfortunately often react defensively instead of being willing to listen. that's what upsets me and makes me sad more than anything.

like yeah radfems also upset me and make me sad at times, esp when i get unwillingly exposed to their bullshit bc it makes my head hurt with how stupid it all is. but im far more upset n hurt when ppl who should be by all means on my side, are more willing to side w the ppl they claim to hate rather than listen to me when i talk abt yknow. my life experiences.

(*)(i mean. that alone, no matter how you package it, is genocidal. the fact that they want AMAB/people they label as AMAB whether theyre "technically correct" or not, folks to be subjugated in ways which ultimately lead to their eventual "eradication" so as to "liberate" the poor suffering AFABs who can't fight back any other way (again heavy sarcasm), is, no matter what the reason, genocidal. they want a genocide)

any terfs and/or radfems of any kind who interact w this post will simply be blocked on sight. im not about to waste my precious time and energy debating w yall. just do me a favor n stay away from trans folk irl and online, yall hating us does not mean abuse towards us is justified esp when the ppl ur harassing are strangers to u. like cmon man. if someone specific in ur life is causing u grief maybe talk to them abt it personally, dont do that shit where u bother random trans folk or harass them for some strange reason for "daring" to exist while trans (heavy sarcasm, we r clearly not in the wrong here but yknow, these ppl are apparently already unable to understand this so -shrug emoji-)

[xillveart]

Midnight Whispers

Main Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Koge Naegi (OC)

Story Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff / Angst / Romance / Domestic

Story Warnings: Arguments, Cursing, Makeup Sex (vaginal), Hair Pulling, Bakugou Cries, Self Esteem Issues and Self Degradation, Hurt / Comfort

Written for the @bnhabookclub​​ ‘s members bingo event! 

Crossed off: Thigh Riding

Bingo Masterlist

BTW, please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

Art in banner by me

Daily bickering was a common occurrence between Bakugou and Koge, as it had been for their entire lives. A snide comment here. A bark to pick up socks there. A whine to not put that much spice in the food. Or salt. Depends on who was cooking, of course. With someone as headstrong and easily agitated as Bakugou as a lover, it was something that Koge had grown accustomed to, and she was easily able to weed out the serious issues from the complaints that had a tendency to leave his lips without a single thought. She wasn’t much better, and she could admit that, usually snapping right back at him with her own dry humor or sarcasm that would more often than not set him off into immediate frustration. But, as a married couple with three children to care for, bickering was bound to happen, especially if it had always been present between the couple since the first day they met. 

More often than not, it was just a split second of annoyance at something the other had done, before it was filed away in the back of their minds and they returned to loving each other with a final huff or kiss on the cheek to signify that the issue was over. Sure, it wasn’t always a quick fix or easily tamed situation, but they always came out of it together, with understanding and a commitment to change. They never went to bed angry, even if it was a problem that would take days, weeks, or months to fix. Anything that was wrong, they knew that they could conquer it together, and they had learned from experience that isolating themselves and trying to deal with their problems on their own only caused harm to their relationship. 

So the fact that Koge was laying in their bed alone was honestly quite astonishing to her. Nothing about the way they had argued this time had been right. What had started out as just a small comment to make sure he gets his clothes in the dirty bin and not just all over the floor blew up into a rage that she hadn’t expected at all. Sure, she could have dealt with his typical snide comment of “Yes, Master” or something more sarcastic. But what he had said made her snap back at him without thinking, and it all exploded in typical Bakugou fashion from that moment on. 

“Katsuki, really, can’t you just toss your clothes in the bin? It’s not that hard. You’ve been bad about it lately. I already have to pick up after the kids all day, I shouldn’t have to pick up after you, too.” Koge huffed as she snatched a pair of Bakugou’s sweatpants, boxers and a t-shirt from off the floor, glowering at her lover as he exited the master ensuite with a towel around his hips. He had just returned home from a late shift doing his hero duties, and he had been quite grumpy, but that didn’t excuse him acting like a slob. If it had just been this one time, sure, she could deal with it, but that wasn’t the case. 

Every day for nearly two weeks he’d come home late and act like a total mooch. He’d eat, shower, laze around, not clean up after himself like he should, fuck Koge on occasion, and then go straight to sleep. She hadn’t brought it up yet because she assumed that maybe he was just going through a funk, but at this point, it was exhausting. 

With an annoyed click of his tongue, Bakugou stopped at his dresser, pulling open his boxer drawer without even looking at her. “Well sorry for making your life as a fucking housewife so damn difficult, Utsuro.” 

Koge paused mid bend, her fingers lightly resting against the fabric of his jacket that he had also abandoned when he returned home that night. Her stomach churning in shock of his comment, she stood up straight, placing both of her hands firmly on her hips. “Excuse me?” 

“You heard me.” Bakugou glared at her over his shoulder. “What’s your problem? I come home from a twelve-hour shift, working to support you and the kids on my own, and you can’t even handle picking up some fucking clothes?” 

“Katsuki, that’s not-” Koge’s voice hitched as she grew lost in what to say to him. “That’s not fair! I spend all day, literally from the moment that you get up at four until we both go to sleep keeping the house clean, doing all the laundry, cooking, taking care of the kids. It’s not just picking up the clothes!” 

Bakugou gave a roll of his eyes, dropping his towel to the floor as he pulled on some boxers. “Oh yeah, because that’s just as hard as what I do.” 

“I’m not claiming that it is. This isn’t a competition about who does more, Katsuki. All I need is for you to take five more seconds to put your clothes away or put your damn dishes in the sink! I’m not asking you to break your damn back when you get home. Just… I just want you to stop acting like you’re nothing but a mooching roommate who gets free food and pussy when he feels like it.” Storming over, Koge snatched his towel up off the ground, glaring up at him even though his broad and muscular body dwarfed her. “We’re a team, aren’t we? That’s what we’ve always said.” 

“Tch, sure, yeah. A team.” Bakugou hissed through his teeth, agitated snarl on his lips. “We’re a fucking team. I go work my ass off all day and risk my life to bring in money, while you sit around playing and changing fucking diapers. What a team.” 

Feeling her chest beginning to tighten, Koge did her best to blink away the burning in her eyes, clutching onto the towel tightly with both hands. “Why are you being like this? You’ve never been so mean about me staying home! And it’s only until Atsuki is old enough, then I’m going back to work. I’ve only been staying home for two years!” 

“Yeah, two years. Two years of me busting my ass for you, and all you can do is be a little bitch about picking up after me!” 

“Don’t talk to me like that! And will you look at me, stop facing away!” Koge placed both hands on his shoulder, having to use quite a bit of force to get him to turn and face her. The dark and angry glare on his face brought a lump up into her throat, tears beginning to gather up in her lashes. “Just because you’ve been working so hard doesn’t give you the right to shit on me like this, when I’m the only reason you come home to a hot meal and clean clothes!” 

“I could do it all on my own without you, don’t think so highly of yourself.” 

All Koge’s anger was immediately crushed into nothing but a smoldering pain, the tears finally escaping down her cheeks as her entire body went numb with shock. His rough expression faltered for just a moment at the sight of her tears, but in typical stubborn fashion, he refused to back down. “Oh, here come the fucking tears, huh? You know, it’s always been about you, you, you. You’re the one that’s depressed. You’re the one that’s struggling to love herself. You’re the one who’s fucking weak-” 

“Stop it!” 

“Well what about me, huh? Over all our years, have you ever even thought that I’d be struggling? That I’m the one who needs help, support, or maybe just a little fucking appreciation now and again?” 

“You never want to talk to me about these things, it’s not my fault that you’re a fucking brick wall that even I can’t get through! You don’t want to let anyone more than elbow deep in your shit, what the hell do you expect me to do?!” Koge took a moment to wipe the tears from her cheeks, though that ended up being a fruitless attempt as more were quick to replace them. “I support and appreciate you always. I’ve always been here for you! But you’re the one that acts all tough and like nothing is wrong until you explode!” 

“You’re one to fucking bark about hiding your shit, don’t start with that.” 

“Then just talk to me about it,” a hiccup interrupted her, placing her hand tenderly on his bicep to try and pull him back out of his haze of anger. “I am and always will be here for you, Katsuki. Always.” 

“You don’t fucking get it, Koge.” Bakugou shoved her hand away with a nudge, turning back to his dresser to pull out some sweatpants. “Everything that I do. Everything that I’ve ever tried to do. Fucking pointless.” 

“It’s not pointless, Katsuki. Look how successful you are, and you have a family that loves you! I love you. That isn’t enough?” 

As he finished getting dressed, Bakugou didn’t spare her another glance as he headed into the bedroom, ignoring the fact that she was at his heels. Snatching his pillow off the bed, he gave a heavy sigh, ruffling his still damp blonde locks as he paused. For a moment, he stared down at the bed, as if he were contemplating everything that had been said and what he was about to do. 

“Koge… All of the love and success in the world could never make up for the shit I’ve done and the weak person that I am.”  

 Then he left her there, standing alone in their bedroom as he made his way down the stairs. Having closed the bedroom door behind him, his footsteps vanished quickly, leaving her aching for the sound of them returning. For the ten or so minutes she stood there waiting, the silence only grew heavier and heavier on her chest, until she was left sobbing into the damp towel she was still holding. In the end, she tried to sleep, but the empty space beside her was colder and lonelier than it had ever been. She could smell him on the sheets, and as she laid there in the darkness, she found herself waiting for the heat of his touch that wouldn’t come. 

All she could do was lay there and let her mind go crazy. Why had he gone off on her like that? And what did it all mean? Was he actually growing tired of her and his family? Had they truly become such a distraction to his goals, and did he feel guilty about that? Did he not feel good enough for everything he had accomplished? There were so many things that it could be, and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever truly get a real explanation from him. 

Giving a heavy sigh, Koge turned her back to his side of the bed, looking at the digital clock that rested on her nightstand. The bright green color hurt her sore eyes for a moment, bringing her to blink a few times to alleviate the sting and clear the blur. It was just past two in the morning, meaning that she had been laying there awake and upset for almost four hours at this point. But, before she could try to contemplate what it was she should do, the small date on the bottom left corner of the clock caught her attention. 

Instantly, she felt her heart ache, pulling her blankets tighter around her as she realized what it was that could have set him so on edge. This past day had been the anniversary of not only his kidnapping when he was a first year in high school, but also the day that All Might - Bakugou’s hero and inspiration - was forced to retire during the fight to rescue him. For weeks and months afterwards, Bakugou blamed himself for what had happened, and Koge had been there for him every second that she could. Even now, at thirty-three, Bakugou still had bad dreams and memories that created an amalgamation of issues for him. 

He was strong and could hide it well, but Koge knew that it was something that he still hadn’t recovered from. The fact that it was the anniversary of one of the most traumatizing days of his life would surely explain why he had such a short fuse with her earlier. Did something happen that she hadn’t been aware of? 

Giving a small whine, Koge pulled the blanket up to her face, crying quietly into the fluffy fleece fabric. Even if something did happen… What he said was awful. I can’t just let that slip. But what should I do? 

Growing frustrated, the petite woman cried out and kicked all the blankets off her, rolling over onto her back to glare up at the dark ceiling. She couldn’t stand this! They never went to bed angry at each other like this. Why the hell hadn’t he marched up there to try and talk it out yet? Did he expect her to come down and apologize or something? She hadn’t even done anything wrong! 

Still, she knew him. She knew that stubborn, hardheaded brat like the back of her hand, and she knew that he wouldn't apologize first. He was going to avoid this for as long as he could, which would be until morning when he had to get up to head to work. She wouldn’t put it past him to try and avoid her all morning, too, putting it off even further until he arrived home again. That was something that she couldn’t stand the thought of.

She wanted to resolve all of this. 

Now. 

With a huff, Koge stood, snatching the baby monitor off the nightstand to take it downstairs with her, just in case Atsuki began to cry while they were down there. Gathering her resolve, she snuck down the hallway to the stairs, being sure to not let a single sound alert either her children or Bakugou to her presence. 

It was dark and chilly in the hall, with only the light from the windows along the stairwell allowing pale blue light to conquer the shadows. As she reached the top of the stairs, she stopped and listened, finding that there wasn’t a single sound outside of the ticking of a decorative wall clock in the living room space. While standing there, she couldn’t help but look over what she could see of her home, the moonlight creating such an ethereal glow over the modern decor. 

This home was so special to her. Bakugou had built it, for her and their - at the time - future children. It had been almost ten years ago, now, that she first walked through the beautiful blue front door. He had done this for them. There was no way he could be tired of her after everything he had done. It wasn’t possible. 

Blinking away the new tears that threatened to fall, Koge let out a quiet, trembling breath before starting to make her way down the stairs. About halfway down she paused as she heard shuffling, her pale blue gaze darting to the large couch in the living room. The back faced the stairs, so all she could see was Bakugou’s arms, which came to rest up and over the armrest. With the limp position and uncoordinated movement, Koge assumed that he had actually been able to fall asleep, which didn’t surprise her much. He was exhausted, mentally and physically, and who knows how long he spent brooding over what had happened before he crashed. 

The theory that he was already asleep was confirmed when Koge got to the bottom of the stairs, able to hear his deep, steady breathing and light snoring. 

Jerk, Koge thought as she approached the couch. Able to be a bitch and then just go straight to sleep. He’s such a… mess? What is all that mess? Coming around the side of the couch, Koge’s eyes first landed on the coffee table, which he at some point had pulled up closer to the couch. Haphazardly placed upon it was his phone, his work planner that he kept surprisingly good track of, and a pile of crumpled tissue paper from the box nearby. 

Those tissues were the oddest things to her. He wasn’t sick, and she was pretty sure he hadn’t used them for anything weird. Had he been… crying or something? As if on cue with her thoughts, the man sleeping on the couch beside her gave a rough inhale through his nose, starling her. Finally looking down at him, she felt her heart soften, just from the absolute absurdity of his position and soft expression. On his back, both of his arms were up over his head, one tucked under his pillow while the other hung limply off the armrest. His face was turned to rest against his left bicep, cheek squished in and mouth open to accommodate his stuffed-up nose. As for his legs, one was bent at the knee while the other hung awkwardly off the couch, and it was very obvious that he had grown used to sleeping in a large bed where his body had all the room it needed. 

Shockingly, the fleece blanket he had thrown over himself to sleep was still in place, pulled up to his collarbone and covering his torso to his knees. Stupid boy… that blanket is too small for him. He does look comfortable, though… But his nose is all red. When did he fall asleep? Glancing back at the table, Koge put the baby monitor down quietly, before stepping in closer to him. The face that had been scrunched up in anger was so soft now, completely void of the harsh lines that creased his fair skin. She could perfectly imagine the moments in their life when he had looked at her so softly, holding her close and showering her with affection.  

Sniffling, Koge reached down to run her fingers through the soft tufts of blonde hair along his forehead, her fingertips lightly tracing along his temple and across his cheek. It was then that she could feel something she hadn’t noticed before, a wetness that he had neglected to clean up. He had been crying, self-isolated down here with nothing but his thoughts to torment him. Just like she had been. 

In that moment of wiping away the tear with her thumb, Koge knew that he regretted what he had said. She knew that he was upset with himself, that he was ashamed and would rather let out all his emotions alone than have to face her with his shame. Because he was stubborn and prideful, and he couldn’t let his weakness show, not when it was something that tormented him so. Although what he had said hurt her, she needed to push him to rectify this, and in the still of the night, she knew that they could do it. Together, hidden from the rest of the world, they needed to bare their souls to each other and forgive. 

There was a soft groan from his throat at her touch, his face turning more into his arm as his body tensed and stretched. Koge kept her hand on his cheek gently, softly stroking his skin to try and pull him into consciousness, pairing it with a soft cooing of his name. 

“Katsuki? Katsukiiii…” 

With a deep inhale through his nose, which rattled with his congestion, Bakugou’s eyes fluttered open for a moment, barely glancing over her figure in the moonlight before he rested his hand over hers. 

“Utsuro…” Turning his head slowly, he pressed his lips against her palm, kissing her skin softly as if he were waking her up on a typical morning. His softness brought a new round of burning to her eyes, her free hand running through his hair again softly. 

“Yes, Katsuki… Wake up, love.” 

He was still for a moment, nearly falling back asleep before his eyes opened again. This time, they stayed open, glancing around his surroundings with hooded eyelids. When his tired crimson gaze finally landed back on her, his eyes widened slightly, as if he were shocked to see her there. “What are you doing, Utsuro?” He pulled her hand away from his lips, tightening his grip on her hand as his brow furrowed with worry. 

“I couldn’t sleep. I… I wanted to come talk to you.” 

“No… fuck off.” He pushed her hand away and slapped the other out of his hair, glaring at her stomach through his sleepy haze. “Go back to bed.” Although he tried to sound threatening, his voice wavered, and the way his eyebrows furrowed upwards was a clear sign to Koge that he had heard it, too. He wasn’t going to be able to keep himself composed. 

“I won’t. I’m not letting you get away again. I forgive you, Katsuki, I want to talk about it-” 

“No!” Bakugou’s voice spiked with his frustration, but he quickly lowered it as he heard it echo through the open room, being conscious of his sleeping children. “You can’t forgive me so easily! Get away from me!” 

“Shhh, Katsuki,” Before he could move, Koge lifted and slipped under the fleece blanket, sitting on his stomach. 

“Get off--!” 

“It’s okay,” As his body began to shake with the last little hold he had on his emotions, Koge took hold of both of his cheeks, stroking them softly with her thumbs as she rested her body down against him. “Let it out, Katsuki. It’s just me.” 

With her touch and soothing words, Bakugou’s face further contorted with sadness, before the tears rushed down his cheeks with the rough release of his breath. The sight of him so broken like this instantly crushed Koge’s heart, but she kept her own composure, pressing her forehead against his tenderly. “Shh… I’m here, Katsuki. It’s okay.” 

“Koge… Fuck, I’m sorry-” Bakugou wrapped his arms around her like a vice, one hand buried into her hair at the back of her head while the other clutched her body close. Even his legs lifted as his body turned a bit towards the back of the couch, doing everything he could to make sure she was as physically close to him as possible. “I didn’t mean it!” 

“I know you didn’t,” Koge allowed him the time to release all the built-up emotions, wiping away the hot tears with her thumbs. To allow him in closer, she carefully wrapped her arms around his neck, letting him hide his face into her chest and soak her t-shirt with his tears. She stroked his hair softly, lightly rubbing and massaging his scalp with her fingers and her nails. “I know, Katsuki… It’s okay.” 

“It’s not! It’s fucking not!” Bakugou moved his other arm down around her torso, squeezing her closer. Even though his grip was tight, he held her like she was a priceless treasure, secure yet comforting and tender. “I told you I didn’t need you! I’m so damn stupid…” 

“Shh… You don’t have to explain yourself right now, Katsuki--” 

“You’re my everything and I talked to you like you’re a piece of fucking gum on my shoe. All because I’m fucking tired. I’m so tired.” 

Frown crossing her lips, Koge nuzzled her face into his hair, closing her eyes to try and control her own tears. “You’re my everything, too, Katsuki… I could never be happy without you. And I’m so blessed that I get to have you come home to me every day. I… I know that something must have happened to make you feel so bad about yourself. But I need you to know something, okay…?” Pausing for a moment to wait and see if he wanted to respond, she took his silence and sniffles as permission to continue. 

“You are not weak… And you deserve all the fame you’ve gained, and all the love you receive. You deserve your happiness. I love you. And even if everyone else turns their backs on you, I will be here. Forever. Always.” 

There was a moment of silence between them, with nothing but the clicking of the clock and the sounds of his congested breathing and sniffles. Eventually, he lifted his head up to face her, his cheeks flushed so dark that she could see it even in the dim light. Smiling softly, Koge used her fingers to wipe his tears away again, before using her t-shirt to get his nose. “Snotty.” 

Scrunching up his face in detest of her pinching and wiping his nose, Bakugou gave a click of his tongue. “Hey, I’m not one of the kids!” 

“Maybe not, but you’re still my baby.” Caressing his cheeks, Koge leaned in to kiss the bridge of his nose softly. “My Katsuki. I love you so much.” 

“But I… still need to explain myself. Why I acted out like a fucking asshole…” 

“Don’t worry about that right now, love. It’s late… Neither of us have slept. Well, you did a little,” Koge smiled against his lips softly as his hand curved up along her back to her side, slowly moving down her body to her hip. “You’re really cute when you’re sleeping.” 

“Yeah? What’d you do, stare at me like a weirdo?” 

“No! I can’t help but think you’re cute.” 

“I’m not cute.” 

“Yes, you are!” 

“Tch…” Bakugou’s still gleaming crimson eyes glanced over every inch of Koge’s face, his hand slipping around her backside before down along her thigh that was resting up over his hip. Koge knew that look and that touch, her cheeks flushing with heat as he parted his lips up against hers, only hinting at his urge to kiss her. With his rough fingers softly digging into the plush, cold skin of her thigh, she couldn’t help but tuck herself in closer, fingers lightly gripping onto his hair while her heart began to pound. “Koge…” 

“Yes, Katsuki?” 

“You know when you’re really cute?” 

Koge’s cheeks flushed hotter, giving a small shake of her head, her nose brushing lightly with his. 

“When you’re under me, blushing and squirming… and moaning my name.” Bakugou was barely able to finish speaking before he took Koge’s lips for his own, kissing her with a breathless passion that she had been missing. For weeks now, their love making had been reduced to basic and boring fucking, leaving her unsatisfied and desperately craving the affection from him that she adored. That passion that had smoldered down to barely embers became a raging fire with just the connection of their lips, burning Koge from the inside out. She knew that fire wouldn’t cease, that nothing but being one with him could extinguish the flame, and so she allowed herself to be devoured by him. 

A soft groan left his lips with just the taste of her, his hand sliding back up her thigh to pull her hips tighter up against him. Shifting her body to get closer, Koge let out a small squeak as his thigh pressed up between hers, firmly resting up against her sex. Legs intertwined and craving the new pleasure his leg provided, Koge let her hand slide around to softly caress his neck while the other stayed dug into his hair, all while her hips began to roll and grind against his thigh. With her first soft sigh of pleasure into the kiss, Bakugou kept his large palm placed firmly on her ass, squeezing the plush form. 

“Do whatever you want, Utsuro,” Bakugou spoke low against her lips, catching her gaze between the moments that their lips parted. “Tell me what you want. I’ll do anything for you.” 

Koge moaned sweetly, tightening her legs around his thigh as her grinding became more vigorous. She could feel the hard form of his cock digging into her lower stomach with each roll of her hips, being sure to purposefully push them further in so that he got some attention as well. “I just want you to love me, Katsuki,” Her voice hitched from the pressure against her clit, her skin tingling with the pleasure and heat rolling through her body from his touch. “Touch me. Hold me… And just let me in. Let me love you and comfort you, too. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” 

Bakugou’s hand slid up under her t-shirt to caress her back near her shoulder blades, pulling her in tighter against his chest as their lips met again. Meanwhile, Koge’s traveled down across his chest and around to his back, tracing the form of his muscles until her fingers reached one of the little dimples right above where the hem of his sweatpants rested. Just feeling his body like this made her movements more passionate, picking up the pace of her grinding on his leg. It had felt like an eternity since they had been so close together like this, every other moment for weeks feeling like there was no love or emotion behind anything they did. He had been so checked out of the relationship, his mind swirling in his troubles and struggles, and although she wished that he would have come to her sooner, Koge knew why he hadn’t. 

She knew, because this had happened only a few years ago, with Koge shutting down and blocking him from helping her for months on end. Back then, she hadn’t felt like she was worth his worry or like she was good enough for him at all, and she had said horrible things to him, too. And now, his internal struggles were exploding just as hers had, burdening him with feelings of inadequacy, weakness, and like he was undeserving. He didn’t have to say it. She knew, because their connection and understanding of each other wasn’t something that could be easily explained. It was deep and strong, powerful enough to get them through anything, as long as they were together. 

Beginning to be able to feel her heat and wetness coating not only her underwear, but her thighs and his sweatpants as well, Koge wanted to give him something in return. Her hand slipping beneath his sweatpants and boxers, her soft touch stroked across his ass and to his hip, tenderly cupping his hard and throbbing member after she set him free from his clothes. 

“Fuck,” Bakugou growled against her lips at the touch, pressing his forehead into hers to catch her gaze and watch her expression. “Your hands are always so damn cold. You fucking walking freezer.” 

Koge couldn’t resist a soft smirk against his lips, rolling her thumb teasingly around this tip to displace the leaking precum. “Well, someone seems to like it. You. You’re someone.” Shifting herself up a bit higher, Koge’s leg came to rest over his hip instead, giving her enough room to let his cock rest flush between her legs and up against her sex. “How’s that? Warmer?”

“Not quite warm enough,” His hand moving back down to her ass, he used his impressive reach to be able to pull her underwear to the side, the tip of his cock teasing her wet and aching hole. 

Nibbling at her bottom lip, Koge felt heat spread across her cheeks, her stomach bubbling with anticipation. She wanted him to be inside her so badly, to connect with her and be one, to share that love and sentimental passion that no one else in the world would ever see. Their love, although scarred with healed wounds and new scratches, could never be broken. 

“Katsuki,” Koge whispered out breathlessly, her hand once again caressing his cheek. “Please…” 

With only a slight shifting of his hips and some guidance from his fingers, Bakugou began to slip his cock into her, both of them sighing in satisfaction as they became entangled together, on their sides and as close as they could possibly get. One arm supporting her head with his fingers buried into her hair, the other hooked firmly around her waist, allowing Bakugou to hold her steady as he began a slow roll of his hips. The moonlit room was swimming with sounds of soft sighs and tender moans, surrounding them completely in a bubble of their own world that contained nothing but each other. 

Koge already felt like she was going to go mad from the heat between them, the strength of his body against her, and the slow yet consistent rhythm of his cock moving inside her. This feeling of being so close to him, so full and connected was something that she would never get used to, nor was it ever something she wanted to lose. As the desperation to keep him close swirled around in her belly with all her other fluttering feelings of adoration and longing, Koge kept herself clutched onto him tightly, her nails dug into his back and foreheads resting against each other. The closeness had their noses and lips brushing with every thrust, a kiss being shared here and there between moans and soft sighs. She could stay like this forever, staring into his crimson gaze, surrounded inside and out by his presence. 

“Mm, Katsuki-” Koge had to hold back a louder moan, biting down onto her bottom lip as he picked up the pace of his thrusts. “S-so good… You feel so good inside me-” A sharp gasp and a squeak cut her off as Bakugou’s grip on her hair tightened, pulling and bending her hair back just enough to add to her pleasure. He couldn’t resist a low groan that rumbled in his chest from her change in expression with the new pain, her brow furrowing upwards and lips parted in a restrained moan. The tears that she had been holding back since the beginning gathered at the corners of her eyes and in her lashes, shimmering with the moonlight and threatening to fall at any second. 

“Yeah, Utsuro? You like my cock inside you? Of course you do-” Bakugou answered for her when she was only able to give a meek nod, her voice hitching with increased roughness. “Ah fuck… You’re so tight. So fucking hot!” What was once tender morphed into a greedy craving of pleasure that was mutual between them, as Bakugou rolled them over so she was on her back. His hand still gripping her hair at the scalp, he kept his lips hovering over her open mouth, captivated by her expression shifting as her eyes rolled back. “I’ve missed that look… Fuck I wish I could hear you scream for me right now.” 

Keeping her legs wrapped loosely around his waist to let him move however he pleased, Koge allowed him to ravage her, doing everything she could to control the volume of her voice. He felt so good slamming into her like this, his thick cock filling up every inch of her and leaving nothing untouched. Her orgasm was quickly approaching, and she was sure to let him know that with his nails dug deep into the skin of his back and her uncontrollable subdued gasps. 

“That’s it, Utsuro,” Bakugou hissed against her flushed and tear stained cheek, his eyes never leaving hers. “Cum for me, baby.” 

The rare pet name slipping from his lips immediately set Koge off, more tears spilling from her eyes as her voice hitched with a moan and a sob. “Ka-Katsu--!” Right as her voice peaked, Bakugou’s large palm clamped over her mouth, releasing her hair to instead muffle her moans and uncontrollable sobs as she came hard. The feeling of her clenching and squeezing around his cock brought a hiss from behind his teeth, hiding his face into her shoulder as he helped her ride out her orgasm with slower, shallow thrusts. It took Koge a few minutes to finally fall back down from her high enough to take back control of her voice and her body, breathing heavily in through her nose and stroking his hair with trembling fingers. 

Moving his hand away from her mouth, Bakugou instead caressed her cheek, using his thumb to wipe away her tears while his lips kissed away the others. Without another word, he began to move within her again, though he didn’t pick back up where he had left off. Instead, his thrusts were slow and deep, much as they had been at the beginning, his focus entirely on her face and his gaze staying firmly locked with hers. As she looked back up at him, Koge couldn’t help but wonder how there could be so much love, so much absolute infatuation within his gaze. It made her heart - her entire body - melt into him like butter, and she could only hope that he could see it in her eyes, too. 

How much she loved him. 

How much she needed him. 

How happy he made her. 

How truly blessed she was to call him her husband. 

“Koge,” Bakugou spoke with trembling breath, his thrusts quickening as he grew closer to his peak. “I’m sorry. And I love you. I love you more than fucking anything.” 

“I love you, too, Katsuki. I love you-!” Koge tightened her grip on him as he kissed her passionately, clenching her eyes shut tightly to try and control her tears. Within moments, Bakugou’s thrusts became erratic, digging himself into her as he released hot ropes of cum inside her. Just the feeling of how hot it was made Koge tremble, sighing softly against his lips while he moaned in pleasure of his release against hers. 

“Mm, fuck--” Bakugou cupped both of her cheeks, placing kisses on her lips that soon traveled up the bridge of her nose to her forehead. “Damn it, I love you.” 

Smiling, Koge gave a soft giggle as his lips came down across her temple and cheek, able to feel the heat of his lips even against her flushed skin. “I love you, too, my Katsuki. Was I cute enough for you?” 

Bakugou gave a grunt, his final kiss on her lips rough and punishing for her teasing. “Don’t be a smartass.” Removing himself from her, Bakugou adjusted his clothes back into place on his hips before squeezing himself between her body and the back of the couch, laying down on his side facing her. Before Koge could even think about whining about being cold, he pulled the fleece blanket that had been pushed down near their feet back up and over them, tucking it up behind her back and under her side as she turned to face him. 

“Ooh, you know me so well.” Koge nuzzled her nose against his softly as they grew comfortable together. “Mm, so toasty. My heater.” 

“Fuck off.” Bakugou tenderly moved some of her hair out of her face and back behind her ear, his choice of words not matching his calm tone. “You leech.” 

“Your leech, you mean. Or should I say, your baby.” Koge couldn’t resist a smile as Bakugou’s face flushed, his brow furrowing as if he didn’t expect her to pick on him so soon. “You called me ‘baby’!” 

“Tch, so what if I did?!” His typical defensive snarl was paired with a hushed yell, as if he were scolding one of his children in a store instead of his wife. “I can call you whatever the hell I want to, Utsuro!” 

“Then do it! Please,” Batting her eyelashes innocently, Koge gave a playful pout. “Call me ‘baby’.” 

“You want me to?”

“Yes!” 

“Then I’m not going to. All you get is ‘Utsuro’!” 

“You can’t just give it to me and then rip it out of my hands like that, Katsuki!” Koge whined as she shoved her head into his chest, giving his body a punishing squeeze with all her limbs that were entangled with his. “It’s the worst!” 

Bakugou stroked the back of her head softly, giving a tired sigh as he closed his eyes. “But I like Utsuro…” 

“I know, but there’s nothing wrong with changing it up sometimes, love.” 

“But Utsuro is my name for you. And only mine.” 

Cheeks flushing, Koge nuzzled her face up into his neck, kissing his skin softly. “Mm… Because I’m yours.” 

“That’s right, baby,” Bakugou smirked against the top of her head as Koge gave a small, happy squeal, pressing herself in tighter against him. Though, it was quick to fade as the fight they had crept back up along his spine, and Koge was easily able to pick up on his sudden lax posture. 

Tilting her head back up, she caught his gaze, her hand coming to rest softly on his cheek. “You want to tell me about it now?” 

Brow furrowing deeply, Bakugou couldn’t seem to find it in himself to look into her eyes now, his gaze locked on the tip of her nose. “There’s nothing anyone could have done to me that would excuse the way I acted.” 

“It still upset you, love. A lot. Please tell me?” 

Bakugou fell silent for a moment, only the soft ticking of the clock through the quiet room giving Koge any sense of how many minutes went by. When he finally opened his mouth to speak, it was as if every little noise in the room hushed, from the ticking to the buzz of the electricity in the walls, and Koge couldn’t help but hold her breath. 

“I’ve dealt with not being appreciated like other heroes. Like Deku or Todoroki. Or anyone else, for that matter. Anything great I ever do is always latched to my attitude… and my failures. Controversies… All that bullshit.” Bakugou paused for a moment to move a strand of hair off her cheek, still unable to look her in the eye. “These past few weeks, I felt really pressured to… Prove that I was worth something. I’ve tried hard, and it’s worked, but I began to realize that I was starting to lose you. And the kids… I worried that… to get one thing I want, I’ll have to lose the other. And that scared the shit out of me. Just even allowing myself to think like that. Total fucking stupidity.” 

“Why were you feeling like you needed to prove something?” Koge couldn’t stop the small frown on her lips, which Bakugou was quick to kiss away gently. Finally, his gaze met hers, and the pain she had been familiar with since high school made itself clear. 

“Because of today. You know that every year since it happened, there’s a special about All Might’s final fight and retirement. And every time… every fucking time… The asshole reporters make it seem like it’s my fault. That I haven’t been the type of hero that was worthy of being saved back then. That his sacrifice was for nothing.” A moment passed as he gathered his thoughts, his fingers still working their way through her hair. “And still, after everything I did… Everything I tried to do lately, it still happened. And then I take it out on you… I’m weak. And like I said, nothing I can do will make up for the shitty things I’ve done.” 

Koge felt a burning build up in the back of her throat as new tears gathered in her eyes, placing her hand on his cheek. “Katsuki, that’s not true. You are an amazing hero, and so many people look up to you. They respect you and they adore you. There will always be some people out there with negative opinions, and you know that negativity gets higher ratings and views in the media. But those things don’t make up who you are. You are a great man. A strong hero. A loving husband and father. And there is nothing wrong with being weak, because you have people in your life who will support you and build you up stronger.” 

With a blink, her frustrated tear fell from the inner corner of her eye and traveled down the side of her nose, but Bakugou was quick to wipe it away with the rough pad of his thumb. Sniffling, Koge held his hand against her cheek, soaking in the feeling of his tender touch and his heat.

“I know it’s hard to accept, but it is okay to be weak. To be imperfect. Because you grow from these things. Never forget your accomplishments. You’re Japan’s Ground Zero, the number two hero. And you are my Katsuki, number one best friend, husband, and father to three little squids. I love you. Please don’t forget to love yourself.” 

Although there were no words, Koge could see the slight fault in Bakugou’s stern expression, though his face was buried into her hair as he squeezed her in close before other emotions could break loose. 

“You and your mushy shit, Koge… How do you always know exactly what to say…?” 

“Because I can see the truth, Katsuki.” 

“Oh yeah, you have like a third eye or some shit?” 

Sniffling, Koge pulled back from him, giving him multiple playful kisses on the lips in punishment of his teasing. Right as she was about to stop, Bakugou took over to kiss her tenderly, melting Koge to the core until she was like putty in his hands. With a soft hum in happiness, Koge smiled against his lips nuzzling her nose against his softly. Bakugou responded with one last kiss, giving his own sigh and small smile. 

“Thank you… Koge.” 

Tagging: @gallickingun​​ , @aizawasbedtimestories​​

[floatservices]

wrong numbers/right answers

iwaizumi hajime/reader wc: 3.9k 

When Hajime had started catching feelings for the mystery number, he'd rationalised that it could never be you. Slowly but surely, his mystery texter had been getting him out the slump Iwaizumi had been feeling over his unrequited feelings, and instead of wondering about you, he was wondering when the next mystery number text would come.

But now you're her and she's you and his brain is going to explode. He doesn't have enough brain cells for this.

Curse this stupid, stinking crush.

“You've been on that damn phone for, what, 30 minutes now?” Iwaizumi growls, waving Oikawa's less than impressive test score across said boy’s face. “What are you, texting a new girlfriend?”

“Iwa-chan, I'm flattered you think I have a new girlfriend!” Oikawa’s ecstatic, typing with one hand and snatching away the sheet away with the other. “But no, I'm just trying to have a good time with our favorite classmate,” Oikawa metaphorically dangles you in front of him, and smirks as his friend’s eyes widen. “Oho, I’ve got your attention now, have I?”

Iwaizumi wrinkles his nose, trying to get the test back. “Shut up, shittykawa. If I knew her better, I'd apologize to her because she has to deal with the likes of you.”

The spiker makes a wild lunge for the test paper, because they came to his house to study, not so his disgraceful excuse of a best friend could tease him about a girl, but Oikawa leans just out of reach, his long arms stretching as far as they could.

“You wound me, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa chuckles, shuffling the paper under the cushion he was sitting on. “My test score wasn’t that bad, anyways-“

“You call a 52% a good grade?!”

“Well, it's a pass, isn’t it? I have more important things on my mind, anyways, like beating Ushiwaka, texting my favorite girl in class, don’t you have something to do? Oh, wait! I forgot that you were-”

“Shittykawa," Iwaizumi cuts in, a seething expression on his face, but Oikawa pays no mind. "If you finish that sentence-“

“-Socially awkward! You can’t even talk to her without blushing! But funny how that doesn’t happen when you talk to anyone else like that, hmm, Iwa-chan?”

Hajime gets up and launches himself across the chabudai, tackling Oikawa, a fist raised.

__

It’s 8am when Iwaizumi gets a text.

From: ??? To: You rinrin this is you right!?? buddy???!! pls send me ur jpnese lit hw I NEED HELP otherwise tatsuya-sensei will have me impaled bro my entrails will be sacrificed to whoever the hell Yamada Kai was, helpppp!

There’s a string of different crying emojis after that, which Iwaizumi finds adorable. He doesn’t know who this is, but it’s obvious that the poor guy went to Aoba Johsai. The woman who taught Japanese Literature was famous around the school for being a harsh marker and a harsher teacher style. They’d been studying Yamada’s works so far, and Iwaizumi expects whoever sent it was panicking- it was 8, school started 8:30, and English was their second lesson of the day (or it was for tomorrow, because Classes 3-4 didn’t have Literature today, but Iwaizumi assumes it’s today, otherwise they wouldn’t be this distraught.)

He glances at his watch- he had a few minutes to spare. He fishes his work out his bag, and he thanks God he's used his best handwriting (Tatsuya-sensei had caused quite the scene photocopying his work last time, showing off to the entire Class-2 how “insufferably illegible” his print was,) hoping whoever was behind the screen could read it. He takes a quick picture of it, making sure it’s not blurry and the script is clear before sending it off and hurrying out of his house.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You [sent: IMG20151219] you’ve got the wrong number but i’m from seijou too. this is the worksheet you mean?

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You aaa i’m so sorry for sending it to the wrong number!

but yes, it is the right one! thank you so much, i owe you one, mystery man!

Oikawa’s waiting for him outside as always, and Iwaizumi deliberately speeds up so he can walk past. Behind him, Oikawa makes a sort of whine from the back of his throat, quickening his pace to fall in next to him.

“What’s gotten you so cheery?” Oikawa asks, and Iwaizumi realizes he’s been smiling. He replaces it with a scowl, quickly shoving his phone in his pocket so Oikawa can’t get anymore curious.

“It’s no thanks to you.” Iwaizumi quips, and Oikawa pouts.

Iwaizumi only risks a reply when he gets to school, because Oikawa Tooru will never shut up if he sees him texting someone that is so obviously a girl.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You how do you know it's a guy..? for all you know i could be a girl, you know.

He gets a reply soon after.

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You well, if you are a girl, i'm sorry!! i didn't mean anything  by it... also i kinda assumed you were a guy because of your handwriting.

He should be offended by that, right? Right. He’s offended by it. He's about to defend himself when his phone buzzes with another message.

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You SHIT I'M SO SORRY THAT WAS RUDE TO SAY!! I BET YOU WON'T TALK TO ME ANYMORE

IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE IF YOU DO...

He blinks, an ungraciously amused smile making it's way onto his face. He leaves his phone alone for the school day, because his teacher has just walked in. He figured he'd reply to you after school, just before volleyball.

It's kind of a mistake, because he comes back to 12 more messages, each message reading a variant of "I'm sorry," the amount of sincerity in each message growing as the hours passed by. He figures it's time to ease the stranger out her misery, and begins typing his reply.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You no need to get worked up on it, lmao   you planned on talking to me again?

While waiting, he has enough time to go to the clubroom early and change out of his school uniform to his jersey. He's halfway through fixing one half of his laces when his phone pings.

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You it's because i thought i owed you one.... but i guess if you don't want to talk it's okay lol

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You i hope it's not me that offended you this time. i do want to talk. you seem... cool?

He hits the send button, rereads it, and recoils. That sounds awkward.

Iwaizumi starts typing more.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You besides, you don't know me. how are you gonna give back (whatever. i don't know how! you're the  one that wants to owe me.) if you don't even know me?

From: Crying Emoji lmao To: You won't it be funner if it's a mystery?

i guess... we could help each other out! anytime we need hw help we just call each other, like a private help line.

(also, why the question mark? of course i'm cool!)

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You i think that sounded less creepy in your head.  

(sure, you're cool. [heavy sarcasm, if you can't tell.])

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

is that a no?

(rude!)

Iwaizumi stares at the screen. Well, he didn't really mind. And whoever this was sounded pretty trustworthy, and not a random creep that pretended to be a Seijou student in their free time. His time to deliberate is cut short, because Oikawa slams the clubroom doors open, singing a Christmas carol Iwaizumi didn't recognise, along with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who were discussing what kind of forfeit Oikawa had to pay today if he didn't set as well as he should; ramen or oden?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You fuck why not

i'll be looking forward to... being helped out? bye.. i'll talk later.  

my best friend is here and i'm not ready for him to annoy me straight to satan's asscrack.

Iwaizumi whips the phone away from Oikawa's line of vision, only letting him see his asscrack remark. (It backfired, because Oikawa spends all of the time from putting his shoes on to the start of practice whinging.) The boys slowly file out of the clubroom, Kunimi shutting off the lights as the door softly clicks closed.

Iwaizumi's phone lights up in his blazer pocket, a simple "see you later!" on the screen that brightens the whole room up.

___

It's two weeks later when Iwaizumi needs the help he's been promised. He opens up his chat- they'd just been talking last night about Seijou's annual fair, and what they each were going to do.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You hey english is kicking my ass

can you help a me out please

To: You From Crying Emoji lmao ofc !! what do you need help with

i would let u copy my answers but i feel like you actually have to learn english at some point phone-chan lol

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You the english were on crack when they

made up their language i swear

does the sentence "the star shine brightly" work

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

LMFAO

weh that's a trick question

"shone" is for no object and "shined" is for when here's no object. so like shone works for 'light' and shined can be for like

a car headlight

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You what the hell

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao ikr english is crazy

you also forgot the "d" at the end lol

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You that one is on me that's simple

but the other thing isn't. aren't the both shining anyway? what's the point in having two. i hate this devil language i swear

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

if it helps no one really cares and i think

you could get away with either english has a lot of rules and no one follows them sooooo... it's whatever!!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You

try telling that to fukuoda-sensei i swear that guy has a grudge against me or smthn

To: You

From: Crying Emoji lmao WAHAHAHA i had him last year.... he literally hates fun i don't think i've ever seen him smile

good luck with that phone-chan :P

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You

one last question btw

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

ooh okay shoot!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You what's 好きな食べ物は揚げ出し豆腐 in english

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao ...

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You don't tell me you don't know :(

To: You From Crying Emoji lmao phone-chan, if i say i'll make your agedashi tofu for the festival tmrw will you please stop making vague hints  towards it for the rest of the night?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You :)

To: You From Crying Emoji lmao the things i do for you, phone chan!

___

"Iwa-chan, don't eat too much." Oikawa says, blinking as he tries to process the sheer amount of beancurd his friend is wolfing down.

"Says the person who hogged all the milk bread once." Iwaizumi retorts, rolling his eyes. "This is one plate of tofu, unlike when you once wasted 2000 yen to buy the school's entire daily stock of milk bread so you could eat it." He pauses to finish another cube of his favourite food. "And school milk bread doesn't even taste that great."

"It was cheap, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa tries to defend himself. "Makki, Matssun, help me out here!"

Matsukawa only shrugs, and when prompted by Oikawa to give a 'real' answer, he sides with Iwaizumi, apologizing sheepishly.

"Sorry to admit it Captain," He chuckles, "But I don't really like school food anyways."

Iwaizumi shoots Oikawa a teasing smirk, and Oikawa's just about to say something when Hanamaki pipes up.

"I like it," Makki makes a non-committal gesture, and Oikawa looks happy with that. "I mean, sure, school food isn't that great but I think the milk bread is the only good thing about it."

"Like striking gold in a coalmine!" Oikawa nods his approval, and Iwaizumi just sighs. Looking around, he spots you out of the corner of his eye, looking as good as usual and serving a few parents and students. He knows he can't call you because he'd end up sweating through his blazer, so he asks another classmate instead.

"Okuhara-kun," He calls, waving to a boy in his class. "Do you know who made the tofu?"

The boy shakes his head. "Whoever it was came early to drop it off. It had a note with it though."

This gets Iwaizumi's attention. She'd left something for him? "Oh? What did it say?"

"Uh- this is an exact quote, by the way- 'Phone-chan, don't you dare!'" Okuhara replies, drawing out quotation marks in the air. When Iwaizumi lets out a loud laugh, he takes it for disbelief.

"Is it... really that funny?" He questions, looking bemused.

Hajime grins. "Not really."

____

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You you didn't even drop any hints!

all you gave me was a note that told me to go away

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao i knew you'd go looking, phone-chan! my intuition is as good as ever!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You unfair. that was like, my best friend's level of unfair.

so unfair that i'm thinking about moving my best friend back to the top of my favourites list :/

That was a bold faced lie. Oikawa had never been on the top of his favourites list: that was reserved solely for Makki.

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao you wound me!

who is this best friend?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You

not telling lol

you'd know who i was then

To: You

From: Crying Emoji lmao spare hint ma’am?

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You you didn't give me any!

and you're the one who wanted to keep it a secret in the first place :/

...but fine.

he's on the volleyball team

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao oikawa!!??

To: Crying Emoji lmao

From: You ... :( yeah

see i told you!

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao actually, i don't know the vb team that well. oikawa's one of the only guys i know  because he's popular. and loud 

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You oh so i’m not popular?

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao aww phone-chan it’s not like that <3 ur popular in my heart :)

Iwaizumi curses at the blush that follows reading that. He will not allow himself to get flustered over that, it was a joke!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You gee thanks 

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao besides i still know the third years! i'm just saying i don't know them that well!!

hanamaki, matsukawa and iwaizumi. they're a close friend group, so i expect one of then is you

When he reads his name, he doesn't know whether to deny it completely, or confirm that it's him. Hajime puts his phone down and paces for a bit, wondering if he's fucked up. When he checks his phone again, chewing on his lip, he guffaws at the message they've left.

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao ...judging from how you're not replying, you are.

but since i don't know which one, i'll decide on calling you phone-chan, yeah?

When Iwaizumi met whoever they were, he was gonna give them a lecture of a lifetime about not being a smartass.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You fine, yeah. i am one of them. but now you owe me a hint too!

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao

well, i suppose i do!

i'm one of the girls in the class that actually has oikawa's number. he half forced me to give it to him, actually, but it's still been fun talking with him.

(not as much as talking with you, phone-chan!)

and i also totally get why he's annoying.

Iwaizumi feels a tiny bit of jealously bubbling up- irrational, because he's only been texting them for about half a month. His friend's statement about liking talking with him more than Oikawa makes him a little pleased, because people didn't usually pick his pretty best friend over him (selfish, yeah, but he's tired of girls asking him to deliver chocolates to the setter and befriending him in hopes of getting closer to Tooru.)

But girls who had his number? Only the ones Oikawa actually had an interest in.

The grand total of the people in his class with the brunet's number was three, because as courteous and as flirtatiously he acts, he accepts and turns down people normally, and doesn't like hurting girls as much as his playboy rep boasts (Iwaizumi's always liked that about him.) The three girls he knew of consisted of Aoi, his ex, Reina, who unbeknownst to Oikawa at the time, swang the other way, and...

You.

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao i know that aoi, reina and (name) has his number...

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao well, one of them is certainly me!

we're both down to three, phone-chan. even ground!

Iwaizumi feels the world cave in on himself, reading the message over and over. Aoi was a nice guy, but he was also the same brand of pompous that Hajime disliked and Oikawa had found cute. They’d ended it horribly, so Hajime was decidedly not looking forward to the possible outcome that it was him, so he casts away the thought before it can solidify in his mind’s eye. Reina didn’t even like guys, so if you were you…

Huh. His mouth’s gone dry suddenly.

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You cool cool

 hey i'm gonna head to bed i gotta emotionally prepare for voluntarily walking into japanese lit class with tatsuya sensei on my ass

sorry to cut it short

To: You From: Crying Emoji lmao aw don't worry about it phone-chan <3

good night! and see you tmrw, whether we know it or not!!

To: Crying Emoji lmao From: You sleep well

Iwaizumi curses during the 5th hour of trying to sleep. Curse this stupid, stinking crush.

___

He wishes he hadn't asked. He's fine with his favorite crying emoji user knowing who he is, but knowing that it's you sort of struck a pang in his heart that couldn't be undone. He can't concentrate in class, and though he fights it because Oikawa's caught on to this habit, he finds himself staring at you instead of listening to the teacher. The whole situation was annoying!

First he thinks you're cute but he'd chalked it up to never working out because Oikawa had managed to snag your number. Then Oikawa assures him that it's platonic and they only talk about school work which is, to say the least, bullshit, because Oikawa can't actually text without getting distracted. His best friend has a tendency to rant about volleyball or start gossiping when his phone is within reach, and it's why his study sessions happen with Hajime next to him (and even with him, Oikawa still manages to get his grubby hands on his phone.) His best friend was absolutely up to something, and it had been killing Iwaizumi that he didn't know what it was.

And then he'd gotten that cute, fated, statistically impossible text from a wrong number, and fallen into a cute flirting-but-not-really routine. They were kind, sweet, and willing to help him with trivial things like homework and make him his favorite food.

It was easier not really knowing who it was! That was mean to admit, sure, but even when Hajime had started catching feelings for the mystery number, he'd rationalised that it could never be you. Slowly but surely, his mystery texter had been getting him out the slump he had been feeling over his unrequited feelings, and instead of wondering about you, he was wondering when the next mystery number text would come.

But now you're her and she's you and his brain is going to explode. He doesn't have enough brain cells for this.

Hajime sighs, looking away from you and back to his worksheet. Algebra stares back at him with no mercy. "I have no brain cells." He mutters, amending his thoughts. In the seat next to him, Oikawa chuckles lightly.

"You've got enough to stare at her, though." He whispers, and Hajime feels his blood boiling. "I swear, when the bell rings, I'm going to-"

The teacher clears her throat loudly. "Iwaizumi-san, if you could refrain from speaking until I've finished..."

Iwaizumi feels his hot rage flood into his cheeks as embarrassment instead. "Of course, sorry sensei."

You catch his eye as he averts his eyes from the teacher, and you smile encouragingly. Hajime thinks the knot in his forehead gets worse. He feels himself go hotter, somehow, and quickly goes back to looking at his math equations. Oikawa's still fucking smirking.

"Denial, Iwa-chan."

There's something fishy in the way that Oikawa texted the group chat about getting lunch. Firstly, Oikawa liked western food for whatever reason, and whenever he asked to go out, he would picked a pricey French place. The rest of the team would debate for about 8 minutes before usually settling on a cheap soba place near the town centre. He'd claimed it was for a post-midterms celebration, and since the Christmas holidays had started, they might as well go somewhere altogether, as a team.

But Oikawa's suggested this expensive ramen place (which... alright, it's not like Oikawa never eats Japanese. But he doesn't prefer it, and Hajime is paranoid about whatever plan his best friend has hatched) and instead of shouting at him to lower the price, Makki and Mattsun agree immediately. Iwaizumi knows Makki is broke this week, after having to buy a replacement volleyball for the one they popped while roughhousing, so he doesn't understand why he'd agree to blowing 2000 yen on a single bowl of ramen.

The rest of the third years decline or agree. Iwaizumi thinks this is for plausible deniability, to make him think it's all alright. But when Oikawa @'s him in chat to confirm for the coming Thursday, he grudgingly agrees. He's wanted to try that ramen place for a while, anyway, and he's putting too much thought into this. It was just lunch with the team. It's fine.

Then the coming Thursday rolls around, and he's been standing outside the ramen place for 5 minutes and no-one is here and he's going to kill Oikawa-

To: [crying baby noises] From: You oikawa i swear to god where the fuck is everyone. i'm going to aim every spike in practice to you i swear. yahaba would help me

To: You From: [crying baby noises] WAHAHAHA it's okay iwa-chan, someone else you like much better than our sweaty volleyball team is coming ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)

To: [crying baby noises] From: You die in a ditch

To: You From: [crying baby noises] you won't be saying that after ur first date! (☆ω☆)

here's her number, since ur gonna need it!

[CRYING BABY NOISES] HAS SENT YOU A CONTACT

Iwaizumi grumbles the entire time he's punching in the number, intending to tell you that you've been set up and you don't need to bother coming, but his phone shows up with an error that he's already got the number saved. He stares at the notification, blinking once, twice, before the elation sets in and-

"Ah, Iwaizumi?" You call his name, walking quickly towards him and giving him a bashful smile. "Sorry I'm late. I wasn't worried because I thought it was just going to be Oikawa talking my ear off, but he texted me to say... well."

He just says your name, blushing but still grinning. You chuckle, and the little display of happiness pushes him to at least try and say something, "Oikawa gave me your number, but..." Iwaizumi trails off.

"He sent yours too." You explain, pulling your phone out and, at last, he's given proof that you're the mystery number and his grin manages to get wider. The cool winter air bites less than it did before. "But I already had it saved."

"Me too." Hajime says, taking a step closer to you and taking a hand tentatively. Your fingers slip between his, and your cheeks are pink from more than just the cold.

"I had a feeling it was you." You admit, still looking at him the way you do in his dreams. "It's nice to finally meet you properly, Phone-chan."

[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 68

All night he hadn't left her side, which was fun at one point, because he was a real party animal, but on the other hand the conversation with Jared hadn't left her head for one second, they both knew it wasn't the time nor the place to discuss matters further. What time was it? 3AM and where was Jared? She hadn't seen him around for a while, probably already scoring new pussy, ugh no don't go there. “Another drink?” Nathan put his hands on her hips, something he had been doing all night, trying to get as close to her as possible, “oh no, I'm full up..have you seen Jared?” she looked around the room, “nope, then again he's already an older man, he can't keep up any longer” Nathan grinned at her, squeezing her flesh more tightly, just surrender and give yourself to me, woman! You know you want to. Harper pulled his hands away “don't say that, he's not old, trust me, I'm speaking from experience here” and turned to go, “wait, where are you going?” he tried to stop her “I'm going to look for him”. Charles..where was he? Oh there “Charles, have you seen Jared?” she gave him a quizzical frown, “He's gone..he left about an hour or so ago” Charles didn't seem too amused, “oh, I see..” she felt a bit scrutinized when he just stared at her with an empty look in his eyes. Gone where? His hotel of course, she ran to the cloackroom to get her coat and immediately headed for the exit, stilettos in the snow shuffled to the curb to hail a cab, he wanted to talk? Well she was ready and he'd better still be up. Half an our later she got out of the cab and ran inside the hotel, up to his room, she knocked and knocked but there was no answer, what the? She held her ear to the door, what did she expect to hear, loud snoring? He didn't snore and it was the middle of the night after all, or some heavy fucking noises? blegghhh no!!. Disappointed she walked to the elevator again and let it take her down with a heavy heart, maybe check reception “excuse me, has the resident in room 524 come back yet? I'm his..light designer” she couldn't think of anything else to not be told to take a hike “and I can't reach him on his mobile either”. To her surprise the guy quickly glanced at his computer “He checked out about an hour ago” what? He'd left? Left NY? What else could he have done? Airport..maybe he was still at the airport, the first flight left when? The only thing she could do was go out and check.

Two hours later she put the key in to open the door of her apartment, deep inside she had hoped she would find him here so her heart dropped when she found her apartment cold and empty. With a deep sigh she put on the heating and walked up to the huge window to see the sun come up above New York,  how can it be that you hurt me so much and now that you actually decided for yourself to leave I miss you so much?

From: HCDeRobiano

To: BJLCubbins

Subject: First so close, now so far removed?

Hey Jay,

So you decided to leave NY, huh? And I can hope that it wasn't because of me all I want but when someone leaves like a thief in the night, I just cannot help thinking it actually is because of me.

I will respect your need for distance/privacy/silence (pick a reason), I always did and always will, but I just wanted to tell how much I enjoyed your company the last couple of days.

I wanted to thank you for the party and more specifically for the Dior bag, you really went over the top there and I don't feel comfortable even accepting it..if you want I can have it fed-exed back to you, hope you kept the receipt.

Anyway, it's really ridiculous but I guess I just needed to have that talk with you after all..too little too late right?

Hope you're safe wherever you are without a snowflake in sight.

Coco

Jared had just landed in sunny LA, the contrast just couldn't be any bigger with where he came from, and he welcomed the clear blue skies, maybe they would be able to clear the clouds from his head. The arrival of her mail vibrated him back to life, his hands shaking when he read it, oh god..of course it's because of you that I left.

From: BJLCubbins

To: HCDeRobiano

Subject: Re: First so close, now so far removed?

Harper,

Of course I left because of you, let's be honest here, I came because of Charles's Christmas party but I stayed because of you, and not the snow, I could be snowed in anywhere on this planet, as long as I'm with you, it's all good.

I never keep receipts, because a gift should never be returned, do with the handbag what you will, I bought it for you, end of story. Oh and btw is it ever too late? In our case that's debatable, because from what you said last night, you will never be able to forgive me, should you? I don't know about that either.

If anything was clear, it's the fact that you're moving on, and can I blame you? No! Can I blame myself for it? Yes! So, you do what you feel you have to do, I just hope it will give you clarity and closure..on us/on the things that I did (pick a reason as well).

Anyway, how's your wrist? Didn't hurt it too much at dancing? And how's Nathan? You two looked really chummy, is he a better lover than I am?

Jared

Fuck why did I write that last part? Why the hell not? She wants me to be open and honest, well I guess I am. I'm moving on too, it is what it is? Love is so ridiculously overrated, it's just lust with her, like it is with everyone else? Right? Yep! Convincing himself of that was harder than it seemed, because the words of her mail kept bouncing through his head all day long.

She needed to rest up a bit before she started painting, and she so didn't look forward to meeting Charles, that disappointed look in his eyes last night was haunting her, but her head hadn't touched her pillow yet when his reply beeped its' arrival. His words stung, oh he was upset and angry all right, sarcasm was his weapon and he wielded it like a champion.

From: HCDeRobiano

To: BJLCubbins

Subject: Re: re: First so close, now so far removed?

Jared,

You're not playing fair,  I told you how you nearly broke me when you did what you did, am I not allowed to move on? Do you want me to keep suffering? Does that amuse you while you just get on with your life? Not that it's any of your business but Nathan is a friend so far, not a lover, we haven't even kissed yet, he's a distraction right now, but I guess you know all about those, don't you?

Bye Jared, I don't think there's any point discussing this any further, maybe it's best if we made a clean break and stayed out of each other's lives.

Harper

Oh yeah, that's really convenient isn't it? Walk away from the real trouble, that is so like you, but not this time Harper, oh no, you won't get rid of me that easily, I'll keep you on your toes, that's for sure. I'll keep you on your toes, don't you worry, even long distance, but you're mine and that's how I intend to keep it.

From: BJLCubbins

To: HCDeRobiano

Subject: Re: re: re: First so close, now so far removed?

Harper,

Let's go back to your original mail, you said you needed to have that talk after all, and now you're saying there's no point discussing it? Stop being so fickle, either you do or you don't and I think I know you enough to say that you do want to keep talking? I'm definitely up for it, I already was the last couple of days. I'm gonna be honest here, I can never have a clean break with you, I let you come too close for that and I think I can say the same for you, you and I both know that Nathan isn't gonna cut the cake, he's just some distraction, if it was only to get revenge then you would've let him get inside your panties already.

So, we'll leave it for now, I hate arguing by mail and if you're ready to talk on a more adult level, I'm right here, ok?

Jared

Fuck you, Jared, you stupid, arrogant fucker, fuck you! She growled as she jumped out of bed again, painting on adrenalin is never a bad idea, just get it out of your system and forget that stupid jerk. Ok so maybe he underestimated her, somehow he thought she was gonna write back but nothing more from her all day, he'd definitely pissed her off, another night full of doubt and wondering what she was doing, no way, ok call her..no answer, for fucks sakes Harper I'm not gonna do this with you again. Why do you have your heart set on ripping mine to pieces? I'm not asking you to forget I'm just asking to forgive, we were, no are, so good together so let's move on, it's that simple, forget about that irrelevant little fucker who's bending over backwards to get you in his bed, he isn't worth your time, the real deal is right here in LA.  

[punkscowardschampions]

Lola & Astrid

Lola: [come in to get your tattoo then, which is on the back of her neck/shoulder blade moment which isn't the worst but I think it vibrates on those bones pretty hard, also the embroidery technique/colour will make it worse/more time, overall vibe a sassy, confident bitch but lowkey nervous on this tattoo] Astrid: [I like to think she's already in there and probably has been for hours because whether it's big or small on this occasion they obvs let her stop whenever she wants and for as long as she wants cos they know her so we just chilling with the dog BFF who goes everywhere with her lowkey and both having a drink of water casually so the dog can go up to her like hey gal] Lola: [have loads of pictures of her with dogs and cats, so gonna say we're an animal hoe and gonna be extra over this lil dog then AFTER you've stroked and loved upon it 'Shit, I've not distracted it, have I? I'm so sorry' like when you aren't meant to with blind people service dogs] Astrid: [just straight up talking to this dog like she's a person like are you okay, do you wanna go and the dog's like nah I'm fine by giving a Lola a toy or something like I think we should play with this gal] Lola: [straight up throwing this toy like we aren't in a tattoo shop like please be careful, probably getting told off by a grumpy tattoo dude and just loling like whoops 'cos the kind of carefree hoe we are 'what's your name?' but we are talking to the dog] Astrid: [being like 'did you forget we like rules?' @ the dog as if she caused this trouble herself and full naming her like a cross mum but we not cross we're more playful about it because autistic bants] Lola: ['so distinguished, suits you madam' and shakes her paw, then touching one of Astrid's leg tattoos as is clearly ground level with this dog rn 'that's gorgeous, how many do you have?'] Astrid: [when you an affectionate af person but you don't know her like that so then you can't answer that question and she must think you're being so rude sorry gal, but let's say the tattoo person answers for you cos probably did most of them but not all so gets it wrong so then you have to answer whatever the right number is] Lola: [you really shouldn't grab people but that's the kinda hoe you are so that's the vibe lol, undeterred but do let go of her leg thanks, just talking about ALL the tattoo ideas you have] Astrid: [at least you can likewise go off about that babe because they are literally another thing you collect/comforts you and makes you feel safe so like you always wanna get more, try not to actually talk over her and listen but it's okay if you do, she'll get over it] Lola: [just listening intently anyway and bowing to her superior knowledge on it 'cos you wanna get more even though you have yet to start this one and are gonna be sobbing in a sec lolll, very seriously turning to the dog 'Winnie, will you hold my hand?' then turning back to Astrid and rolling her eyes 'my girlfriend was too shamed to be seen with me'] Astrid: [just going OFF about aftercare too before she's even started this tattoo because as far as you're concerned there is only one right way to do it and everything else is wrong and a huge no, the grumpy tattoo dude from earlier who Lola's gonna end up having is just gonna try and be like nah she's wrong, this this and this is fine but shh sir tbh. The dog just grinning through all this cos she's buzzing about the energy 'She's not ever going to be heavy enough for proprioceptive stimming but it's still calming when she lies with you, she's soft and she smells nice, does that make sense?' her confused face when she then doesn't understand what she means about her girlfriend not wanting to be here though like um why] Lola: [just ignoring the man like the true lesbian you are, be careful girl, nodding 'total sense, Miss Winifred is a vibe' and giving her an approving sniff like yes 'it smells like bleach in here' probably a good thing babe but we're not happy lol 'ugh, 'cos she's so tough and I'm going to embarrass her' shakes her head like oh girlfriends] Astrid: [repeating back to Winnie that she's a vibe because you like the sound of that thank you but whatever you're gonna say about how it smells in here is interrupted by grumpy tattoo dude complaining that it's because Astrid always has to OTT clean up the station etc and blah before they start, like don't out her like that sir and don't be a dick so we're not happy about his vibe rn] Lola: ['you should be happy she's doing the hard work for you' even though we were the one complaining about the smell, we're not about it] Astrid: ['he's not a happy person' hahaha suck it sir] Lola: ['that's so sad, what happened?' oh gal] Astrid: [just telling her this dude's life story like he's not right there because we don't understand sarcasm bye] Lola: [when you weren't even being sarcastic but you were not expecting her to reply and you know he's not gonna be thrilled so you put your finger to your lips like shh but smiling at her so she knows you aren't being a dick like stfu] Astrid: [being like oh do you want some quiet, like offering to get them to turn down the music they always blast in tattoo places] Lola: ['can we change the station?' like this rock shit is not a #vibe honey and getting out your phone and aux cord from your bag] Astrid: [just like 'it's not a vibe [name of your tattoo gal] can we change it to a vibe?' because we're saying vibe now and obvs this woman will cos she's a good egg] Lola: [putting on your femme gay girl bubblegum pop playlist like every other person in here/grumpy tattoo man is going to be taking the piss but we aren't aware 'cos we're that bitch and just dancing around like it's the clerb] Astrid: [Astrid and Winnie are vibing, picking this dog up like do you wanna dance lil queen as if we're not in the middle of a tattoo sesh] Lola: [hyping them up in a very yasss queen manner and then getting interrupted by this dude being like are you done pissing about and just twerking at him like mwah 😘 as you climb your ass up onto this bench, then being like 'WINNIE, I NEED YOU' very dramatically with grabby hands and all, this man like oh my god] Astrid: [we're loling at her antics and then putting Winnie on her lap because this angel will look after you gal so we can finally get some more of our own tattoo done] Lola: [good incentive not to drop this dog or shriek in her ears gal, 'cos gonna be so OTT about this pain obvs, all of this painting a picture as why your butch tatted gf did not wanna be here, just 🥺🥺🥺 at Astrid 'does it hurt you?' 'cos gf popping off like it doesn't which is a lie like when people say childbirth doesn't like admit it even if you can hack it] Astrid: ['not as much as other things' because we matter of fact about it instead of being like her girlfriend and pretending nothing is happening here] Lola: [we aren't really listening anyway just talking to talk here 'beauty is pain'] Astrid: [just repeating that like hmmm idk ' you're saying you feel more beautiful now, they'll want to put that on the signs outside'] Lola: ['They've got better promo' and giving Astrid's tattooist a look, 'cos the insecurity jumped out when pain] Astrid: [just going off about how much you like it here and you've told everyone about it like lol peeps have said they should pay me] Lola: ['yours are so cool' and asking her why she got that one and when etc etc] Astrid: [telling her everything even if like some of this shit is personal like tell me those roses aren't because of Ro you can't] Lola: [when you're an oversharer so you are 1. not phased by this 2. can say how this is for your abuela who's dying] Astrid: [genuinely is upset about this and asking loads of questions about her like obvs how old is she but also about her as a person and what she likes and how she was living before this] Lola: [we was already crying from the pain so you know, just carry on lmao, telling her that you live with her, that she's your only family and she's a bomb cook and she loves you even though you're gay and you go to bingo together on Thursdays] Astrid: [when you're just like are you gonna live with your girlfriend and cook together and go to bingo with her] Lola: ['I don't know' big sigh 'Do you live with your dad?'] Astrid: [hardcore like BUT WHAT WILL YOU DO because we're so upset about this like we can't answer your question until we get one that's okay here] Lola: [reaching over like hey it's okay 'I'll work it out'] Astrid: [just like oh yeah I do live with my dad btw after ages has passed and she's probably forgot she even asked but we needed a sec there] Lola: ['what's he like?'] Astrid: ['he's weird but not like I'm weird, just not how everyone says a dad should be-' trying to find a way to word wtf Drew is like lol 'he doesn't like rules or keeping things clean oh and he's a really shit driver who plays music too loud and he dresses too young'] Lola: ['sounds like every dude I've ever met' lols, wiping her tears 'has he always been like that or is it a midlife crisis moment?'] Astrid: [lols too because oh Drew you hot mess 'he fell out of his pram and wasn't claimed for 7 days'] Lola: [nods solemnly 'mine too'] Astrid: ['but he makes sure my food doesn't touch and never makes me eat anything I know will be fucking gross and he took me to go get Winnie' like but I do love him] Lola: [gives Winnie love and smiles 'not all bad then' pauses 'mine used to take me to ballet, and never get bored of me showing him my routines'] Astrid: [just going off about this Barbie ballet movie called Barbie and the pink shoes like have you seen it because I figure why not have dolls as a special interest, thanks Ro, though she'd fuck with Bratz and Monster High more] Lola: [talking about the red shoes 'cos assumedly what it is based on and saying you'll look up the Barbie version online 'when Ren is at work'] Astrid: [just chatting about it to the point that she doesn't even need to see it cos you've told her everything but letting her know that Barbie isn't your fave and making sure she knows what you fuck with more like this is vital info okay] Lola: ['Like Yasmin is technically the Hispanic queen like me but I do be looking more Jade and she fucks with cats so ME' 'cos definitely a girl who was into dolls and the bratz are making a resurgence in the culture anyway huns] Astrid: [we're living a life where we only accept the OG's so of course she gotta be that blonde hun who is described as wide-eyed and bubbly and loves her friends more than anything in the world so pop off but we not fucking with soccer and we gotta let Lola know] Lola: ['I see it' like just being like you're an angel there nbd] Astrid: [being like I do support cheese pizza ONLY but thai curry wtf] Lola: [loling like 'food isn't food unless it has at least two carbs and all the cheese you can throw at it'] Astrid: [just listing off everything Jade likes in the known world like do you like these things or no] Lola: [replying like this is a vogue 73 questions I bet tattoo dude is delighted lol] Astrid: [we're having fun here sir excuse you] Lola: ['do you have a Jade in your group already?'] Astrid: [The calming force that she is, Winnie is the group's Yasmin, she can handle a sob story, as you've seen so that's wrong' looks at her like soz gal I know you're offended 'my other best friend is most like Sasha, I don't know if I'm allowed to say that when she isn't black though'] Lola: [looks around at how white everyone here deffo is like I won't tell on you, claps her hands like yay 'we can be friends then'] Astrid: [when you're clearly buzzing about this, giving her your phone like this is my number take it thank you] Lola: [saves it as angel, oh that won't cause any drama with your gf no no lol, taking the tattoo dudes biro or whatever and being like hold out your hand? but thankfully NOT just doing it 'cos she may not vibe gal] Astrid: [at first is like ?? because hasn't connected the dots of what she wants her to do and why but then is like oh okay and does] Lola: [being like to the tattoo lady 'now make it permanent' loling like hohoho] Astrid: [loling 'when I know you better' like we considering this] Lola: [so flattered like omg me and blowing kisses] Astrid: [gotta get some more water cos we recognising that we're getting a bit too buzzing rn so obvs asking her if she wants some] Lola: [just like lifesaver 'cos we been crying so hard over here lol] Astrid: [gotta get some for Winnie too even if she don't want because that's a routine hun] Lola: [live your best life babe you deserve it] Astrid: [let's say her tattoo is then finally done and she abruptly leaves like it was nice to meet you I gotta go now bye because it kills me how they all did that on that show every time] Lola: [the only time you've been shooketh 'cos you'd be a hang around saying bye for ages bitch] Lola: WHERE DID YOU GO?! Astrid: hOmE Astrid: is YOuR tattOO fiNishED? Lola: [sends a progress picture she's made that man take lol] Astrid: 25-30 miNS leFT Lola: yeah? Lola: 🙌 I am about to PEE my pants Astrid: iT'LL bE lONgEr wiTH BreAks but YOu Wont bE alloWED bacK iF yOu dONt TakE oNE foR THaT Lola: 😄 I did a little but we've had no leaks Lola: got my big girl panties on Astrid: 👙 is A GooD iDeA tOooooOOOOO Lola: so NOT letting him do my underboob though Astrid: nO ⛔ no ⛔ Lola: the chick you were with seemed kinda cool though Lola: not gonna write off the whole shop Astrid: 🌟 ✨ sHE MAkEs me fEEL coMFoRTaBLe 🌟 ✨ Astrid: thE reVIeW Astrid: & thE VIBE Lola: love that Lola: don't know how he can do such colourful work and be so sad ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: van GOGH? Astrid: 🌻🌻🌻🌻👂💛💛 Lola: 🤯🤯🤯 Astrid: Do thEy ShARE a SOUL doEs thAT maKE senSE? Astrid: hMMMM Lola: reincarnation baby Astrid: dO you BEliEVE in it? Astrid: a BIG quESTion Lola: I think it's technically a ❌❌❌ Lola: but I think it's cool Lola: like past lives, all the AMAZING people in history you could've been Astrid: I DonT unDERstAnd wHY is iT ❌❌❌ if YoU liKE iT? Lola: Jesus and Abuela 💘 Lola: 💀 is very important to us Astrid: oHhhhhhhH Astrid: hEAvEn ☁👼☁ Astrid: mY muM taUGHt mE about THat Lola: 🧹🌻🦋🌞🍞 Lola: we believe souls come back, but not as other people, always themselves, even if they take a different form Lola: and they come back all the time, though Jesus hasn't come back YET Astrid: 👻👻👻👻 Lola: I can do an offering for your mum if you like Astrid: shE woULdNT coMe bACK for 🍞 Astrid: wHaT ElSe can THey be? Lola: you can put all the person's favourite things on their altar, you can skip the bread Astrid: 🕯🌹🕯🩺🕯🥀🕯🦴 Lola: wouldn't look out of place Astrid: sHe LiKEd DollS tooOOOO but thERe's No emoJi?? Lola: that's so RUDE Lola: did she get you into dolls, what was the first one you got? Astrid: 🧚🏻 thoUGH & 🔮 & 🧙🏼 Astrid: [sends her a picture of some creepy doll because of course she still has it and cue a huge ramble about everything possible about this doll like soz gal you didn't ask for that level of detail] Lola: looks like la catrina's 👶 Lola: I like it Lola: what doll would your mum be? Astrid: [when you disappear forever lowkey to do all the research you can about that just falling down a rabbit hole without saying bye] Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: loVE that Lola: right?! Lola: we STAN an inclusive queen Astrid: caNT waIT tO TeLl mY otHER bFf she is GOiNg to bE so ExCitEd Lola: do you bake? I will send you a recipe for some sugar 💀 cookies Lola: i always loved decorating them Lola: and eating them, duh 😋 Astrid: I dOnT know hOw TO dO that Astrid: ❌❌❌ Lola: I can make them, if you wanna meet up again Lola: or come teach you, that would be fun Astrid: here? Lola: if you want Lola: you could come to mine but you'd have to meet abuela and that might be a LOT ??? Astrid: iTs nOT a ⛔ no if weRe frIeNds Astrid: i THinK yoU couLD bE heRE Lola: I'm a good guy, I promise Lola: I'll be super polite and say please and thank you and take my shoes off Astrid: buT 🍭 🍬 🧁  🍫 🍩 🍪 🍨  wILl maKE mY mum 😢 oR 😡 iF sHE is a 👻 Astrid: 🤫 Lola: it's all about celebrating life anyways Lola: what's better than tasty food Lola: my mother was the same though Lola: but abuela loved food because it made people 😄🥰 she didn't care if it made you fat too Lola: plenty of time to be 💀🦴s Astrid: hMMMmmm Astrid: 👌 Astrid: I wAnt to BE 😄🥰 Lola: maybe your friend would like some too Lola: not Miss Winnie though, too much sugar for 🐶 Astrid: IlL exPLain Astrid: sheS vERY 🤓 Astrid: thATs sMArt noT an INsult Lola: I could tell Lola: I very much enjoyed meeting her Astrid: & mE? Lola: OF COURSE you, gurl Lola: you were so nice and helpful Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Astrid: thANKs Lola: you're welcome ❣️ Lola: are you from here, I like your name, it's unusual Astrid: I dOnT liKE to bE reFErRed tO bY it Astrid: it maKEs mE FeeL liKe PeOPLe ARe 😤 😠 😡 Lola: oh no, I'm sorry Lola: is there anything you would like me to call you instead? Astrid: ...... Astrid: I doNt KnOw Lola: no probs Lola: don't need to call you anything we'll manage just fine without 🙃 Astrid: iS thAt aN oKaY anSWer? Lola: of course it is! Lola: it wouldn't be okay for me to call you a name you didn't like, that's just rude Lola: my gf HATES the name she got as a 👶 so she changed it Astrid: liKe @ scHoOL Astrid: I goT caLLed loAds of namES thERE Astrid: 👿 👹 👺 🤡 💩 👻 💀 ☠️ 👽 👾 🤖 🎃 Lola: 😢👎 Lola: school SUCKED Lola: you're cool Astrid: thEy jUsT doNt unDERsTand mY 🧠 Astrid: mE eiTHeR mE eiTHeR Lola: who does Lola: still don't have to be a 🍆 Astrid: eVErYoNE is EqUAL in tHE eND Astrid: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 💀❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: that's what I'm talking about Astrid: yOu aRe GoiNg To LikE mY aUntY 🧠 ❤ 👀 Astrid: bUt U CaNt bRInG hEr HeRE foR 💀🍪 Lola: why not? Astrid: mY DaD & hER ❌❌❌ Lola: family drama Lola: say no more Lola: abuela only talks about my mother when she wants to cuss her out, and that's her daughter so 🤷 Astrid: hEs BaD buT nOT to ME? I doNt unDERstAnd hoW thAT iS suPposED to maKE seNse Lola: you're special to him Astrid: BuT whY aREnt my SiSTeRs sPEcial toOOOo? Astrid: beCausE theIR muMs aRE dIFFeRenT or Astrid: my BrOThEr haS anOTher DiffErent mUm agaIN Astrid: itS conFUsinG Lola: people are a lot of different things all at once, I think Lola: they don't all fit together right, it is confusing Astrid: wHEn yoU DiE aRE yOU NoOOO thiNGs Or moRE thinGS? Lola: Hmm Lola: I think more Lola: everything, and then the missing pieces make it all make sense Astrid: maybe they ARe tOOOoo sPEciAl then, THaT sisTER & ThOse mums dAD canT DeaL Astrid: hmmM Lola: could be Lola: being dead is meant to be easier than being alive, but it isn't perfect Astrid: & mY OthEr SisTER diDnt diE whEn sHe NeaRLY diD sO mAYBe heS coNFuSed AbOUT THat Lola: could you ask him? Lola: or would he be 😢 or 😡? Astrid: heS not my TaLking To pErsoN heS mY DoinG peRsOn Lola: that's important too Lola: sometimes it's actually better not having the answers Astrid: I sHOULDvE saID that @ scHOol Astrid: BettER not HAVinG thE anSWERS sORRy Lola: 😅 Lola: if ONLY Lola: I wouldn't say ANYTHING at school Astrid: I diDnT taLk unTiL aFter my mUm dIeD Astrid: moSTlY Lola: at all? Astrid: ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: did you talk to your dad? Astrid: somE WoRdS Lola: the rest you just got what you needed in other ways Lola: that's cool Astrid: i THiNk it waS BaD oF mE Astrid: maYbe Astrid: .... Lola: but was it bad for you Lola: that's the important thing Lola: its frustrating when people don't understand you, but people get frustrated when they don't understand, even though they might not still when you tell them with words Astrid: iS thAT wHy yOU didNT talK @ sChooL? Lola: i took up too much space just being there Lola: without taking up the 💬 too Astrid: tOo muCh Space Astrid: hmmM Lola: that's what they thought Lola: basically Astrid: pEoPLe DoNt unDErstaND yOu Astrid: how mUch spaCE yoU neEd Lola: they don't like it ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Lola: i'm not trying to take other people's space though Astrid: tOO muCH iS ❌❌❌⛔⛔ Astrid: toOOOo mUch AnyTHiNG Lola: it is? Astrid: ItS 😢 or 😡 Astrid: itS beInG weIRd Lola: there's no such thing as too much 🐶😸 though Astrid: NeVEr!! Lola: exactly Lola: don't think there's any rules that you can stick to everything Lola: always exceptions Astrid: I wriTE liKe thIs beCauSe thOse rULes are Boring Astrid: loAdS of RulEs doNt maKe sEnSe Lola: I like how you write Lola: it's more interesting to read Astrid: yOu cAn Do iT toO if You waNT Lola: really? Lola: thanks, I'll try it out 😄 Lola: ITs actUallLY REAlLY hARd tO Be TOtallY raNDoM Lola: oTHER New RuLES poP UP in YOuR hEaD Astrid: ItS a VIBE Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: tOTAlLy Lola: LikE THOse nEwSPApEr RAnsOM notEs Lola: aEStheTIc Astrid: ??? Lola: you know in films, when a killer or a kidnapper sends the person a note, they cut up bits of newspapers and magazines so the note is all different fonts and sizes and stuff Lola: [examples Lola: I liKE ThAT LOooooooOOoOKk Astrid: OhHH WoW Astrid: cAn I sEnD YoU onE? Lola: THaTs whaT IT RemINDS mE OF Lola: UM yeS Astrid: TheY dO it So NoBoDy knowS itS from THem YeaH? Astrid: hoW wiLL you Know ItS from mE? Lola: YEah Lola: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't 😱 Lola: I nEVEr GeT 💌 Astrid: do the outside of it normal, so the postman isn't scared Astrid: do the outside of it normal, like this Lola: [her address] there you go Lola: a stamp and it'll be perfect Astrid: ThiS is ReAllY whERe U Live? Astrid: I knoW whEre tHiS is Lola: you do? Astrid: yEAH Astrid: itS By a SHop I lIkE Lola: maybe you could show me 🙃 Astrid: I JuST geT 🍓 thEn I LeAVe Astrid: thEY haVe to Be from ThEre Astrid: a RuLe Lola: nOW i waNt TO tRy SomE Astrid: diD yoUr GirLfrIEnD liKE youR TaTTOo? Astrid: I caNt STop THinkiNG aBoUT iT Lola: She lIKEs 🖤 🤍 bUT I seNT hEr ThE piC & She SAid wAs cUUUUUuUuUUuUuTeeeeeeE Astrid: iS shE gONna coMe wiTh yOU neXT timE? Lola: mAYb ❓🤔 Astrid: tHats noT 🖤 🤍 Astrid: sHe shOUld saY yeAH oR NO Lola: TrUuUuuUuUUUUUUUu Lola: I'll tell her Astrid: Do YoU lIkE haVinG a girlFRieND? Lola: 🤗 & 😘 R gOoOOoddD Astrid: ❓🤔 Lola: you like hugs and kisses? Astrid: PlaTOnic is DiFFeRent Astrid: i LikE theM thOUgh Lola: yeah Lola: with a girlfriend, you just get them all the time Astrid: ? ShE dOeSnt asK you ? Lola: she doesn't need to Lola: if I said stop she would Lola: it's just nice having a person around, is what I meant 🙃 Astrid: 👌 thAT maKEs SeNse Lola: do you like 🧑 or 👩 or none or both Astrid: 👩 👩🏻 👩🏽 👩🏾 👩🏿 Lola: hi-5 Lola: me too 😄 Astrid: but i DoNt have a GIRLfrieNd Lola: would you like one? Lola: we could go out 💃💃 Astrid: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Astrid: yeAh Astrid: yOuRe a GooD 💃 Lola: YOU TOO ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 🤍 🤎 Lola: I KNOW A BAR THAT WOULD LET WINNIE IN Astrid: yOU dO????????? Lola: i KNow tHe OWneR Lola: heS SO coOL Lola: and he has his own dog Finola who sings with him Astrid: I diDNT knOw dOGs coULd sING Astrid: WiNNie coULd hAVE a SeCRET talENt Lola: they do somewhere over the 🌈 it's very good Astrid: wheN cAN we Go? Lola: 😄 When are you free? this weekend? Astrid: FriDAY Lola: 👏 let's DO IT Astrid: 🕐 🕑 🕒 🕓 🕔 🕕 🕖 🕗 🕘 🕙 🕚 🕛 🕜 🕝 🕞 🕟 🕠 🕡 🕢 🕣 🕤 🕥 🕦 🕧 Astrid: ? Lola: 🤔 8? Astrid: To bE @ yOUr hOUse oR ThEre? Lola: we could get 🍓s first and eat them in the park Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 Lola: 🙌 IT'LL BE FUN Astrid: WeRe bOTh eXciTed Astrid: 😆 Lola: 💃💃💃 Lola: have to plan my outfit Astrid: I liKeD uR ouTfit yOu werE weaRing Lola: you're so 🍧 🍨 🍦 🥧 🧁 🍰 🎂 🍮 🍭 🍬 🍫 🍿 🍩 🍪 thank you 😚 Lola: you looked amazing Astrid: I nEEd to dyE mY haiR a new ColOur Lola: have you done every colour??? Astrid: ⛔❌ 🖤 🤎 Lola: boring in comparison to the rest of the 🌈 Astrid: & hARd to GEt Out ❤️ & 💜 sTAY TooOO bUT thEY caN bE maDE inTo a PaTTeRN sO its Not 😢 oR 😠 Lola: 🦜 Astrid: BiRdS aRE weiRD Astrid: mY AunTy haS 🐓 & I ONLy liKE thEm WhEn TheYrE 🐤 🐣 🐥 Lola: DOES SHE HAVE ANY BABIES RIGHT NOW Astrid: yEaH Astrid: thEyre sOFt Lola: 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 that's so cuteee Astrid: doNt be sad shE wonT eaT thEM Lola: but i don't have any🐤 🐣 🐥 Astrid: IlL aSk heR iF you CAn Lola: our apartment is tiny Lola: wouldn't be fair for the poor chickie Astrid: YoU cOuLd VisIt THem Lola: I'll have to buy some 🌽 too Astrid: TheYll be YouR FRIEnds ToooOOOOo Astrid: loVe ThAT Lola: new friends are always welcome Lola: especially fluffy ones Astrid: WiNNie aGReeS Astrid: & saYs dOnT foRGet sheS the FLUFFiest Astrid: she gETs JeaLOUs Lola: 🤭 Lola: of course Lola: she's a babe Astrid: evERYoNe saYs I was wHEn mY brOTHer waS a 👶 bUT i Dont remeMBEr thaT Lola: aw, you helped out? Lola: that's so cute Astrid: 👶 NeED lOAds of HeLp Astrid: haVE yOu EVer heLd onE? TheY caNt suPPOrt their Own HeaDs Astrid: itS wilD Lola: I've actually never held a baby Lola: or really met one, which is weird, I'd never thought about that Astrid: !!!!!!!! Astrid: My FamILY iS SoooOOOOO BiG Astrid: 👶👶🏻👶🏼👶🏽👶🏾 Lola: do you like it? what's good and what's bad? Astrid: YoU aRenT evER aLOne Astrid: thatS gOod OR Bad Astrid: Good & BAD Lola: I can picture that Astrid: bUT itS FUn & LOud Astrid: you LiKe hugS so Youd likE it Lola: yeah Lola: I think so Lola: abuela was from a big family Lola: but it's just us here Astrid: WhERe aRE TheY aLL? Lola: her family? Lola: mostly dead Lola: the ones she would've known, sisters, brothers Lola: their kids are probably still in Mexico but she doesn't know any of them properly Astrid: Im SoRrY Lola: you don't have to be sorry Astrid: ItS saD fOR hER Astrid: I mEAn Lola: yeah Lola: she left a lot behind Lola: but she's been happy here Astrid: & YoURE haPPy? Lola: mostly and most days Lola: not 🖤 & 🤍 Astrid: nOT 🖤 & 🤍 Lola: nothing is ever perfect, is it Astrid: mAyBe WinniE is Astrid: 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 😅 😂 🤣 Lola: I am willing to believe that and let her have it too 💝🐶 Astrid: [a happy picture of this dog like thank you I'm buzzing] Lola: an angel Lola: or princess, I should say Astrid: [a picture of this dog with some kind of tiara moment on because of course we can] Lola: 🙇 Lola: I'll find mine when I get home Astrid: YoU hAve One? Lola: duh gurl Lola: it's a vibe Lola: 👑🌈💃😘 Astrid: iT is A Vibe Lola: you know a vibe when you 👀 one Lola: i CaN TeLL Astrid: I haVE tO gO Astrid: doNT fORget FriDAY Astrid: @ 8 Astrid: 🍓!! Lola: Oh, okay Lola: Looking forward to it ✨

[a-collection-of-villainous-aus]

Gonna post an old ask i had from another blog as a text file hence why Dominic is asking Flug these questions.

Also This contains gore

And the mention of a character called lust hat who I've named Nickodemus.

Btw even Nickodemus hates his hat title XD but anyway.

It's old and unedited

Final warning it does have gore and torture in it.

Dominic hesitated at the basement door, Acylius was working down there, no doubt on a project involving a human subject, well she'd seen blood and horrors before so that would not faze her.

Opening the heavy door with minimal effort, she looked down the stone stairs, zaps of blue light glinting in foreboding shadows as screams echoed throughout his laboratory

"I hope you are enjoying your stay here, I am doing all that I can to make sure you are most comfortable."

She couldn't help but laugh at his joyous tone, the sarcasm heavy within his voice, so the doctor was in a good mood, that eased her greatly, doing down the rest of  the way Dominic peeked around the corner and watched. Flug sparked the cables and flecks of light danced upon charred skin, his patient screaming, body arching against the bonds.

"Good evening Miss Dominic, this one was kindly donated by Lust Hat, you know he is all about the fun times, but he runs a place of mutual consent and well..."

 Acylius smirked and prodded his victims head

 "You did not follow those rules now did you, silly man."

 The dragoness, currently in the form of a woman paused, considering this group was made of villains, they certainly had standards she could approve of.

 "Good evening to you as well Mr Flug, I was wondering if I could ask you some questions?"

 The Doctor stared at her in thought, fingers drumming over the whimpering mans body.

 "I suppose you can, though are you sure you will not faint at my work? I will leave you on the ground until I am done if you do."

Pausing at first at that response she then smiled, a  claw extending at her finger tip as she slowly sliced across the patient's cheek and crimson spilled , dripping down onto marked metal.

"I have a feeling I will be just fine." 

Acylius smiled a little , that had reminded him far too much of Amadeus that he was left with a tinge of colour in his cheeks.

"Well then, ask away."

He returned, going over to a fire he had burning to help keep his tea warm and poured her a cup, handed it over and sat beside his test subject.

"What is your most irrational fear?”

Acylius hesitated on that, making shallow incisions in whining flesh.

 "That Amadeus will just leave me...I mean if there is good reason to or in the one in an infinity chance I fall for someone else I understand..."

Falling quiet for a moment, he looked over his surgical tools, an excuse to calm him self if anything

 "What I fear is just being left, to wonder what I did wrong or why...oh that would leave me to worry about any future connections and keep others away in fear they would do the same."

 Oh...that came from never understanding what he'd done to make his mother hate him other than being born, Dominic looked down into her tea, it was not an irrational fear but more psychological , but she had not the heart to tell him. 

"That is understandable...what is your favorite gemstone?"

Doctor Flug was grateful for the change of subject  and offered a smile in gratitude, lightly scratching behind his ear he answered

 "Well you would think I  would prefer something of a blue colouration considering my home is furnished in dark oaks and a multitude of blues...I actually have a preference of salmon pink aura quartz...I am most attracted to the reflective hues it gives off."

Reaching out to a draw behind him , he opened it and took a piece of the gemstone out and showed her, its varying tones of pink with shimmering pale yellows and greens over its surfaces, reflecting in lighting that did not yet exist along with electricity or those jumper cables.

 Acylius only had these things to hand thanks  to Amadeus and despite being a hybrid between demon and human Flug still preferred using mortal means to torture.

She had once asked him about that and his answer had been it was more barbaric and only those worthy of his true skills and a more intricate death would be sliced apart by his demon claws and far more sinister means.

Dominic agreed hat the crystal formations were quite beautiful, he'd placed it in her hand before taking hold of the meat tenderizer and smashing his patients fingers, crushing them until they were nothing more than a bloody pulp, she nearly dropped the gemstone as she jumped but managed to keep a hold on it.

"Acylius...heh please a little warning next time."

 She stated running her thumb over some of the smooth surfaces, those screams nor the sound of bones breaking bothered her in the slightest, they were from someone who deserved their fate.

Looking over this bound monster, seeing those blood stained tears in their eyes, streaks of blood everywhere and merely chuckled at the sight

 "The doctor is right you know, you really did bring this on yourself."

 Setting down the salmon pink crystal, Dominic picked up a scalpel and started carving little drawings into Flugs test subject.

 "So Acylius, what do you do when it rains?"

"Hmmm well now that can vary, on some days I enjoy watching the world pass by, especially at night when all the street lights seem to have a fantasy like quality about them...and others I will stand outside wings spread and look up into the heavens.”

He sounded distant, clearly lost in thought of such days, rainy ones were his favorite after all.

 "Speaking of fantasy Doctor, do you like fairy tales?"

Dominic asked, pushing her small blade into the trembling body on  the table.

 "I love them...I am sure you know real fairy tales, not those romanticized ones are more nightmarish...tragic even...I have a fondness for the little mermaid..."

 "Oh, any particular reason?"

 Her curiosity was piqued now, of all the stories he could have a fondness for, this one was one of the most heart breaking.

 "I am a man swimming in the ocean of darkness, amongst the demons and the ghouls, I am only fortunate my prince found me....she knew of sacrifice and pain, she gave her life despite her love for her prince who married another...that is what love is..."

 Acylius looked down, brow furrowed and hands clasping at the metal slab

 "All she had to do was stab him in the heart and have his blood fall upon her feet to return home as what she had once been, but love had changed her and she knew...that she had already been permanently transformed by love for she could not steal away his happiness for her own needs..."

 Dominic was listening in closely, this was by  far one of the most interesting  questionings she'd had with him and if not the most revealing and waited for him to continue

 "And so sacrificed her self upon the waves to forever be lost to the oceans surface, lost between worlds as foam upon a universe that would never measure to what tormented tears lay within her broken form."

 Clearing his throat after momentary silence the expression on his face was warm

"I understood her reasons explicitly as I would have done the same for Amadeus...after all he is my fairy tale night mare with a happy ending."

Flug was finding himself tired with his patient and gave the final blow with extended claws, tearing into the mans chest, blood splattering over both of them, making Dominic wince and wipe some from her cheek as the doctor held the still heart in his hand.

"Yes...wonderfully tragic, you can really be quite romantic when you want to be ...I do not meet many villains with such capabilities , it is indeed refreshing...one more question, what is the craziest thing you have ever done?"

The way his face split into a manic grin, exposing a plethora of fangs leaving her a little unsettled

 "Oh you really should have asked Black Hat that, his answer would have been me, but as you asked me, I will have to answer you with Black Hat if you heh catch my meaning."

 As he took a bite from the heart in his hand, fangs sinking in with a thick squelching sound she nodded. Oh yes she understood, he'd twisted her last question so that the craziest thing he'd done was now the craziest thing he had fucked. Heh what a mischievous little group they were.

[whatsgyu]

in which jae visits you in the hospital a little bit too late [ words: 2.1k | au bin ]

Jae all but rushes towards the room where the receptionist told him they’ll be taking you.

He didn’t know.

He didn’t know it was today.

You never told him anything.

He already knew something was up when he arrived at the hospital this morning.

“Good morning, ma’am!” He cheerfully greeted the nurses like he always did. “You already know who I’m here for!” 

When he found out you were confined, he made it a habit to drop by after his shift, despite all his workload. In fact, he visited so often that the receptionists didn’t need to ask who he was there for.

Which was why when they looked at him with confused faces, he was a bit puzzled. 

“Aren’t you a bit late, sir?” The nurse asked him.

“Huh? What do you mean?” If they meant being late for visiting hours, it was still too early for that. Jae racked his head, wondering what he forgot. 

What he only knows is that you weren’t expecting him today. He had told you he might work overtime today and may not be able to visit you afterwards. But since his boss insisted they all deserved an early out, he figured it would be nice if he would surprise you.

Maybe you were the one to surprise him?

“Then do you mean they’re discharged already?” He laughed at the thought, “Ah, that liar, they told me—”

“Uhm, no, that’s not the case, sir,” The main receptionist interrupted him. When they figured out that he didn’t have a clue about what they were saying, the nurses glanced at each other, as if passing a silent question among themselves.

“Didn’t they tell you?” The receptionist asked him hesitantly. “We’re so sorry,” she apologized quickly, “We didn’t mention it to you anymore since we thought they informed you about—”

“What? About what?”  He already felt his palms sweating. What could he possibly not have known?

“Their surgery, sir. It already started about four hours ago—”

“Surgery? They had to undergo surgery? Why didn’t they— they never— I thought they were going to get discharged in five days?”

“Well, yes. They will get discharged in five days given that the surgery is successful, but don’t—”

“If it’s successful? Then do you mean if it— ah!” Jae quickly shook his head at the possibility. Forget it. He can’t think of that right now. “Can you please just tell me what room they’re in?”

“Uhm,” the nurse glanced at the computer before her, clicking the mouse a few times. “They’re scheduled to be at Operation Room 4, which is just along that hallway, sir.” She points towards the corridor at his right, but not before adding: “Although, visitors are not allowed to—” 

But Jae barely hears what she has to say, bowing quickly, dashing towards the direction she pointed, while calling back: “Thank you so much!”

And now Jae stands in front of the said operation room, out of breath, just in time to see a doctor exit the steel doors with someone who seemed to be his assistant. The assistant clutches a clipboard, discussing something with the doctor.

“Uh, excuse me?” He calls out. The doctor glances at him, halting the ongoing conversation.

“Yes, can I help you?”

“Is there a chance you know a patient named Y/N? The receptionist told me she would be having a surgery here.”

“Oh, a Y/N?” The two medical personnel looked at each other, then glancing at the clipboard the assistant was holding.

There it is again with the exchanging glances, Jae noticed. No, no, don’t think that way, he told himself, repeating it again and again, as if reassuring himself will make things turn out for the better.

“You mean a L/N Y/N?” The nurse asks him after scanning the papers she was holding.

“Yes!” Jae nodded immediately upon hearing your last name. “Yes, L/N Y/N!”

The doctor sighed at his desperation and merely asked him, “Are you their family member?”

“W-well, I,” He stuttered, “No—”

The doctor quickly shook his head, “Then we’re sorry, we can’t disclose any information if you’re not the patient’s immediate family or guardian.”

“Can—” He felt like losing his mind, grasping for words, “Can I please just know where they are? The receptionist told me they’ll be here,” His voice was caught in his throat, almost unable to proceed, “But if they’re not here, where are they?” He pleaded, almost begging. “Please, I just really need to know.”

The doctor sighed at his persistence, giving in. “Well, that’s too bad, sir. You just missed them—”

“What— what do you mean?” His heart dropped at what the doctor said. Was he too late? It can’t be. No, it can’t happen this way. “What do you mean I just missed them? What— what happened? What happened to them?”

Jae was at loss, not knowing what to do. Is this really happening? His mind was already on the verge of blanking out.

However, the doctor seemed surprised, not expecting his reaction.

“Woah, woah, calm down,” he slowly instructed him, his arms outstretched, motioning him to keep calm. 

“Calm down,” he repeated, “You didn’t let me finish.”

Jae looked at him, anxiously waiting to hear what he had to say.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” the doctor clarified, “By missed, I meant they just left the operation room awhile ago.”

Jae held his breath.

“The surgery the patient undergone had a very low chance of death. They just wouldn’t be able to walk for a while, that’s all,” the doctor explained to him slowly.

Jae sighed as soon as he heard the doctor’s words, feeling the heavy weight leave his chest.

Thank God, you’re okay. Damn, he really thought. He really thought you were a goner just now. 

He was so worried. 

All at once, Jae laughed out loud. It may have just been out of relief; but the thought of him worrying too much, about you, who was alive as well, made him feel silly. The doctor and his assistant appeared shocked at his sudden outburst.

“Ah! You— you meant that!” He kept chuckling, “Of course!”

“Yes, I meant... that,” the doctor eyed him weirdly, then cleared his throat. “Anyways, your partner must probably be at their room right now,” the doctor informed him.

Upon hearing the label the doctor assumed, Jae immediately ceased laughing, almost choking. His ears turned red.

“Ah— about that, they’re not my—” He attempted to correct the doctor.

However, the doctor seemed to be uninterested with what excuse he was about to come up with, and checked his watch. “Now, if you excuse me, I have other patients to attend to.”

“Sure! I mean— Sorry! I’m sorry! For wasting your time! Thank you, Doctor—?” Jae stopped, realizing he didn’t know the doctor’s name.

The doctor only laughed at his antics, but nevertheless humored him. “It’s Younghyun, Kang Younghyun. And you’re welcome, I guess,” he shrugged, exchanged bows with Jae before going separate ways.

° ° °

So that was how Jae ended up, once again, before the door of your ward.

He had already poised his hand to knock, when the door suddenly opened, revealing your mother. She was taken aback when she saw him.

Why does this keep happening to him?

“Oh, Jae!” Your mother hugged him immediately, in a rather bone-crushing manner, as she always did. “I didn’t expect you to be here! Y/N told me you weren’t going to make it!”

“Oh, did they?” He asked, making it loud enough for you to hear. He even laughed, and your mother joined in, not sensing his sarcasm. “Well, I’d have to let you know that your very amazing child—”

“Jae! Hey! You came!” He heard you call from inside the room, “Shouldn’t you come and greet the patient first, hmm?”

He knew you were just calling him to distract your mother from asking any more questions, but he went inside anyways. It’s not that he wouldn’t tell your mom though, oh he’ll definitely tell on you. He just decided he wanted to see you first. After what happened earlier, it felt relieving to see your despicable face once more.

That and him knowing that he can still get you back from the scare he had.

As he approached you, he saw you propped up by two fluffy pillows, the hospital bed cranked up in order to allow you to sit up. He also noticed your hospital gown clad self was hooked up to what seemed to be a dextrose bag. Not that he knew what that was though.

“Hey,” you tried grabbing his attention, “did you miss me that much for you to stare at me that way?” You grinned at him teasingly.

“Why, such confidence you have, good sir,” he rolled his eyes mockingly, sitting down on the chair beside you. “Oh, you became thinner,” he noted, now that he was seeing you up close.

You glared at him, “I had a surgery, Jae,” you reminded him, “Besides, we all know you’ll always be the stick between us two.”

“You had surgery?” He gasped in an exaggerated manner, “Well, gee, how would I know? It seems like someone didn’t tell me about it.” It was now his turn to glare at you.

“Ah, about that,” you smiled at him, albeit too sweetly, “I can totally explain.”

“You do know that if I could hit you right now,” he smiled back at you just as sweetly, “I would totally hit you, with my guitar— oh, no, wait, my guitar is too precious for that— with portable amplifier!”

You were about to open your mouth to retort back, but Jae was far from done scolding you. “Y/N, what the— ? Why didn’t you tell me about your surgery? It’s a whole ass surgery! Were you just going to call me and go: Oh, hey Jae, wassup! Btw, did you know I just had surgery? Awesome ain’t it? Y/N, for fuc—”

“Okay, okay!” You threw your hands up in the air in defeat. “I fucked up! I know that!” You looked at him in the eye. “I’m sorry, okay! It’s just that you always go freaky on situations like this that I didn’t want to tell you!”

“What do you even mean by freaky?” He snapped back at you, bewildered.

“I mean the can’t stay still freaky! The weird very very nervous freaky! You look normal and calm and— okay, maybe you get more awkward and spaced out— but deep inside I know you’re already thinking of the ten thousand possibilities where the surgery could go wrong!”

You tried to catch your breath after saying all of that continuously.

“Also, the surgery had a low chance of, like, going wrong, and you were even supposed to be gone today! So, I didn’t think you needed to fuss over that.”

“Yeah, so I’ve heard,” he sighed grudgingly.

“You’ve heard what?”

“No-thing!” He replied to you with an annoying, sing-song voice. You rolled your eyes at his childish attempt.

“You can stop guilt-tripping me now!” You exclaimed exasperatingly. “I already said I’m sorry, okay!” When you see that he was still looking up at the ceiling, you grabbed his thin arm and shook it. Only after that did he glance at you with a rather sour, mocking face.

“Oh, come on! What do I have to do? C’mon, I promise I won’t do it again! I swear!” You told him, in all seriousness. “I truly am sorry, Jae.”

“Well, you should be,” Jae narrowed his eyes at you, dropping his act once you apologized sincerely. Besides, this was no time to get mad at you, wasn’t it? ”If you only knew how worried I was,” he muttered under his breath.

“I’m sorry?” You flashed him a shit-eating grin, letting him know you heard exactly what he said this time. “What did you say?”

He takes it back. Who said this wasn’t the time to get mad at you? This was definitely the perfect time to get back at you! Especially now, when you were vulnerable and weak!

“I said I was worried you total piece of—” He rose from his chair, preparing to kill you himself. “Alright, you need to walk now right now because, I swear to God, I will chase you through this hospital—” 

“Mom! Mom!” You yell for help, shielding yourself with your arms. “Jae is trying to kill me already! Mom, help me!”

“No, you do not pull the mom card!” He puts his hands on his hips, “Okay, that’s it, I’m calling Dowoon to bring me my amplifier—”

“Don’t you dare! He’s an innocent child, you wouldn’t taint him with murder!” You threatened, accusingly pointing a finger at him. 

“Dang it! You’re right,” he agrees. But before you could breathe in a sigh of relief, he exclaims, “Then I’ll just call Wonpil instead!”

“Jae!”

Okay, but who was he kidding really? Of course he forgives you. Hearing you say his name in frustration was already enough for him to crack up and start laughing, and honestly, there’s nowhere he’d rather be right now than be by your side.

° ° °

[tatertotthethot]

PIZZA SUNDAYS~ JIMIN X READER!

Request (anon): Hi! Can I request a fluffy smut with tattooed Jimin, pleeease. I love your writings btw<3

— Dear anon, I hope you’re okay with “fluffy smut” becoming dominant and explicit smut cuz I’m a wild bitch by nature and everything has to be angsty and 1000x extra like me :)

Warnings: EX-GANGBANGER JIMIN FOR FLARE; dirty talk, possessive/dom themes, mentions of unwanted weight gain, lotsss if cursing and graphic oral.

(Also, PLEASE DONT COME FOR ME ABOUT THERE NOT BEING A “READ MORE” LINK, I SPENT LIKE AN HOUR TRYING DIFFERENT WAYS TO DO IT BUT IT DOESNT WORK ON A PHONE AT ALL AND I DONT OWN A LAPTOP, SORRY!!)

(Image below belongs to original editor. And requests are open!)

~*~*~*~*~

You knew prior to stepping on the scale in the bathroom that you weren’t going to like the results, being as your strict routine of nutritious meals and daily walks have recently transformed into consistent stress and persistent binge-eating as college finals had taken over your life.

And now that they were over, and you successfully passed everything to your satisfaction, you were now having to repair the damage it had on your mental and physical health. And much to your horror, you stepped up on the scales only to discover that you gained a whopping 15 pounds within the last few months.

This was a big fucking deal to you; Self-imagine was something that you’ve been steadily reconstructing with the new-found confidence and motivation that came with having someone as athletic and praise-worthy as Jimin at your side. But as of late, your time apart between his work schedule and your schooling has deprived the two of you from spending much time together, thus resulting in a lack of the compliments that you usually thrive on.

But... maybe you were mistaken? Maybe the real reason behind him not feeding you his admiration is because, well... look at you.

Your stomach dipped in dread as you quickly pulled you shirt off and turned to the mirror, where you then began scrutinizing every ounce of puginess that overlapped the hem line of your elastic gym-shorts. You ran your hands down your thickening sides and mushed all the fat together around your belly-button, kneading it as if it was raw dough. You then glanced up at your face, and your eyes practically shot out of their sockets as you began prodding at the puffiness in your cheeks and jawline, and pinching the loose skin and stretching it back until you looked around your neck. It was like you suddenly had on a fat suit and just now realized that it wasn’t coming off.

What the fuck is happening to me? You let out a shaky breath as you gave yourself another one-over, becoming more and more disgusted with the girl in the mirror. The only thing that snapped you out of your self-loathing trance was when you heard Jimin’s voice approaching the door, making you panic for cover.

“Hey, kitten? What kind of pizza do you want?—“ the door suddenly opened, revealing your picture-perfect boyfriend on the other side of it. Luckily, his eyes were focused on the phone in his hand. “They have a two-for-one deal at Pizza Hut, you get a free cheese pizza with the purchase of a large surpreme.”

“That’s Okay, I don’t want any,” You quickly dismissed, turning away from him as you hastily flipped your shirt back inside-out and pulled it over your head, cringing at the thought of him catching sight of the rolls beneath your bra.

You could hear the confusion in his voice as he looked up at you, “What, why? We always have pizza on Sundays, that’s why we get the automatic-texts from them for Sunday-deals.”

“I’m just not in the mood for pizza.. You can still order one for yourself, though. Maybe get me a salad?” you played off with a casual facade, but he quickly caught on to something not being right when he noticed you nervously undoing the already perfectly-placed bun that was sitting on top of your head, only to readjust it again. That was something you always do to advert your attention away from someone when you’re really hiding something. But then he spotted the scale on the floor beside your feet— which was normally pushed back in the corner of the bathroom— and pocketed his phone as he officially came to the conclusion that bullshit was definitely afoot.

With his natural interrogation coming into play, he crossed the art-covered masterpieces he has for arms over his black, T-shirt covered chest, and leaned against the door frame as he watched you, eyes now coated in suspicion and face now wiped clean of anything less than total seriousness.

“...so, let me get this straight; You want me to order you a salad, from Pizza Hut,” He flatly reiterated, voice full-on lacking any conviction as he gouged your reaction. “Since when have you ever traded a pizza up for a fucking salad, (Y/N)?”

“What are you trying to say?” You said with sudden defense, cutting a sharp look over at him. But once you took in the unamused, knowing look on face, you quickly diverted your eyes to the sink, where you then turned the faucet on and began splashing your face.

Another distraction.

“Cut the shit, jagiya. You just weighed yourself, didn’t you?”

With your eyes still closed from the access water, you pumped the exfoliation soap next to the sink into your palm and quickly rubbed your hands together before massaging it into your face.

“Yeah, So?”

“I’m guessing that has something to do with your sudden lack of interest in our traditional Sunday meal,” he rhetorically concluded, voice dripping with sarcasm as he straightened his stance and walked over to the scale. With his arms still crossed, he nosily peered down at the numbers still displayed across the screen, from where you forgot to reset it from the instant panic that took over your actions. His face flattened even more at the uneventful discovery. “Seriously, (Y/N), what’s the matter?”

“Nothing, Jimin. I just..” You sighed in frustration, turning the sink off and patting your face dry with a nearby hand towel, purposely using the few seconds of hiding to take control over the embarrassment taking over your features. You then lowered it and caught him standing directly behind you in the mirror with a stern look on his face, and sighed again as you quickly folded under the hopeless pressure. “I gained ten pounds.”

Your shoulders sagged in discomfort as you braced yourself for a reaction, but he just simply blinked at you unaffectedly, as if he was still awaiting to hear the problem.

You continued to stare at each other for a few more seconds, and when he finally realized that that was all you had to say, his eyebrows rose impatiently. “That’s it..?”

“What do you mean, that’s it? I’ve fallen off track, Jimin. Don’t act like you don’t see a difference,” you snapped, now mirroring his arm-crossed stature in a more vulnerable, sulking manner. “I thought it was the cold-water setting on the washing machine shrinking all my clothes, but no. Nothing fits the same anymore because I’m a beached-fucking-whale.”

“Shut up— the only reason your jeans have gotten tighter is because your ass is filling out even more, which is something I unapologetically take full responsibility in causing.”

“No, everything has gotten bigger— my gut, my face, everything. And I know I’m not pregnant because I just had my period, so it’s from me becoming a full-blown fatass in general.”

You sniffed at the burning sensation that came to your sinuses at the spike of anger, but you were more emotionally depressed than anything. You adverted your eyes again and stubbornly tightened your arms over your stomach, which quickly caused his edge to deteriorate a bit as he seen just how heavy this was weighing down on you. It was a shame, really; if only you could truly see yourself the way sees you— a unique blend of flawless beauty.

He exhaled a deep, audible sigh through his nose before lowering his arms around your lower waist, to which he then pulled you back against him and placed a series of endearing kisses along the side of your pouting cheeks.

“I told you this the day I first met you, and I’ll say it now until I’m blue in the fucking face— you are the prettiest damn thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on, (Y/N). Me being in love with you doesn’t effect that fact, nor does a little extra weight do anything to change it. And you wanna know why?” He began, gently turning you around by the hips before cradling the sides of your face, even though your eyes were still casted downward. “People like you don’t have to worry about shit like that, because there is no such thing as a bad look for someone so motherfucking pretty. It’s effortless, God-given gift. You doubting that is an insult.”

You let out a quiet laugh through your nose as you finally met his eyes, fully displaying the self-pity and gratitude in which you felt. “You’re so good to me.”

“Apparently not good enough if you’re still struggling with your self image,” He countered, then took you by surprise as he suddenly ducked down and snatched your gym shorts down to your ankles, then gripped your hips and hoisted you up on the counter without the slightest of warning.

“You see this?” He began, gripping your ass with purposeful aggression that caused you to giddily squeal out at the tenderness. “This is where all that pizza and candy bars go, and I fucking love that because it jiggles when you walk now; and that’s literally my biggest motivation to not say fuck it and go back to selling dope. Because if I get locked up again, that leaves this ass unprotected and up for grabs and I’m not fucking having that, sweety.”

Your head fell back as you openly howled out in laughter, loving his crude sense of humor.

“And these little stretch marks here,” he continued, snatching the hem of your panties down to mid thigh and revealing the neutral-colored stripes expanding along the fullness of your hips. “Holy fuck, they’re my second-biggest turn-on. I didn’t even know I had a kink for shit like this until I saw these badboys for the first time. And that’s why I’m always running my hands across them, because I like feeling the patterns of them. Especially when you’re riding me— oh my god, mm.”

The blush spread across your face like a wild-fire as he aggressively hummed in approval, and demonstrated the very action by greedily palming your hips and tracing his fingers along the thin lines.

“So I’ll say it again; there’s literally nothing ugly about you. The only flaw you really have is your self doubt, but I know you can’t help that and it’s fine. But I’m just telling you (Y/N), I fucking love everything about you. And I swear on everything, I mean it.”

You nodded in acceptance as you soaked in all his sincerity, unable to help the goofy grin gracing your lips as you then leaned your forehead against his chest and rubbed at his forearms, relinquishing in the feel of the veins protruding beneath his skin.

“I love you, Jimin.”

You felt his lips settle on the top of your head as he brought one hand up to rub the back of your neck, his heart racing at those precious words.

“I love you too, Jagiya.”

A dark thought then involuntarily crossed his mind as he noticed that you have yet to pull your panties back up, and it didn’t take long before that one hand still on your thigh crept between your legs and cupped your warm sex.

“I’m just gonna have to put more effort in making you feel good in your own skin.”

You gasped in a breath and gripped his wrist as his fingers teasingly swiped at your clit, him knowing that’s your go-to starter spot and not showing no sort of apprehension as he began full on palming your sensitive flesh, a possessive man by nature. The fingers that was just drawing soothing circles at the back of your neck soon entangled themselves into the back of your hair and pulled your head back, instantly wrenching the submissive out in you as you caught sight of his dominant glare.

“Now, tell me, jagiya: who does your pretty little ass belong to?”

You whimpered out at the intense arrousal that surfaced when he dipped his finger into your wet entrance and used the moisture to glide back up and tentavely roll your clit, making it instantly swell in response to the friction.

“You,” You spluttered out, trying not to squirm from the drastic spike in pleasure. “It belongs to you.”

Your bud continued to swell and twitch against the rough padding of his finger tip, not taking long at all to bring out your sex-crazed demons, and your doe-eyed and gaped-mouth awing soon got the best of him as well, and he lowered his head and lustfully sucked at your pouty lips, briefly warming you up before skillfully claiming your mouth with his tongue.

You didn’t hold back a single moan, you openly voiced your eager approval as he aggressively French-kissed you into oblivion, all the while vigorously massaging your puffy clit. And once he broke away, you barely had time to react before he snatched your panties clear off your legs, boy giving you any time to prepare yourself before he then grabbed you beneath the knees and yanked your ass to the edge of the counter. You tried to stay calm as he did all this, but when he dropped to his own knees and parted your legs so wide that not an inch of your pussy was hidden from his view, you almost cried out at the anticipation.

Because: Jimin may be an absolute God when it comes to fucking, but another thing he also knows how to do better than any other guy you’ve ever been with, is how to properly you out to the point of insanity.

And holy shit, it’s been a while. Something you didn’t realize how much you needed it up into this very moment.

“Don’t hold back on me, now— this is just pregame for what’s to come. As soon as you feel like cumming, do it. Because I need you still up and running for what’s to come after this,” he told told, his own eagerness coming to a tie with the amount of authority in his voice, and you obediently nodded as you gripped the edge of the counter, readying yourself.

“Yes sir.”

That was all it took; the wicked smile that appeared on his face widened as he stuck his tongue all the way out and flattened it over your vulnerable entrance, lapping you up from top to bottom like the greedy bastard he was, causing you to mewl out at the earth-shatter sensation of the silky wet surface lathering up needy flesh. He then craned your thighs all the way back until your shoulder blades hit the mirror and your knees were on both side of your chest, your pussy now practically presented to him on a platter as he then pressed his mouth past your lips and enclosed it around your prominent clit. He then caused every muscle in his vaginal region to clench and quake as he loudly began slurping at the tender area, passionately rolling his tongue and and coaxing it out with purposeful, yet very precise circles.

All the while, you were hitting notes higher than Miriah Carey at this point as words too shameful for acknowledgement poured from your hypnotized lips, your fingers latched into his jet-black hair as you praised him. Every stroke of his tongue was becoming more and more surreal as him sucking was causing the nerves in your clit to become more and more sensitive to his merciless infliction, and it only took about two minutes max before the tension building with your cored bursted under the pressure, causing an overwhelming, euphoric feeling to recochede out and practically electrify the path of his tongue as every nerve ending pulsed at the mind-numbing orgasm.

And oddly enough, once the high settled down and Jimin rose to his feet, you inhaled what was probably the freshest breath of air you’ve had in days, and every ounce of depression had diminished completely from your head. All you could do was stare st your smug-ass boyfriend in total awe as he slyly wiped at his lips and shot you a grin filthier than the Devil himself.

“My turn,” was all he said.

[themockingcrows]

Whisper Just For Me Ch. 15: Reunion

This chapter is SFW! This chapter is also available mirrored on my AO3.

Just having someone back in your presence doesn't always mean they're really there, especially when that someone is a ghost. How much of Dave is with you, and how much of him was affected by your time apart? Is it really a reunion when only one person is aware of the reuniting?

    Your dreams were empty. You were holding out hope that Dave would visit you, would talk with you, would get rid of the lingering worry that clung to your mind like a sticky veil of spiderwebs. Instead you got repeats of different scenarios you've had in the past, strange distortions of shadow and light, a strange sequence of trying to buy a set of pants from a food stall only to find they didn't have your size, and your father trying to pass off one of his finest hats to you after it had been coated in peanut butter, blending the symbolic niceties of adulthood and achievement with a death threat. If you believed in omens it probably would have meant a lot. Good thing you don't believe in it without a gut feeling and the only feelings it gave you were confusion and a stomach ache.

    You woke with your hand instinctively curled around the pendant as if trying to keep it warm, despite the material being plenty warm in your hand already, a reminder of who dwelled within it. Good, he was making some reactions now aside from just a loose sensation of presence.

    “...Dave?” you said quietly, a sleepy murmur. “Dave, can you hear me in there?”

    Silence.

    “...Dave, I'm so sorry for what happened. If I was even remotely aware anything like that was going to happen I'd have done everything different somehow. I'm just glad we got there in time.”

    More silence, but the warmth in your hand didn't diminish. Dave was definitely still in there. Maybe he was sleeping in too.

    Your phone let out a few familiar tones to signal you had messages coming in, rapid fire texts that had you wondering just how many people were texting you at once till you could get at it and turn the screen on with a press of the button along the side. ...Huh. Okay, five texts in a row from a number you were sleepy enough to not recognize as Rose's for a moment.. No, six, your phone chimed again in your palm to try making you scroll down. Okay, maybe you wouldn't have recognized it was from Rose's number right away anyway, this was definitely not her normal way of texting.

    TT: hey when you get this cn u like txt me back asap

    TT: *can

    TT: its roxy rose said i should hit u up again to like

    TT: check in and shit about what happened

    TT: srry for treating u like u two were gonna rob me blind but 2 be fair u were acting creepy

    TT: is that ghost thing okay btw or is that not a gr8 thing to ask

    Another few chimes as you were trying to formulate how to even reply, which left you marveling at the speed with which she could text. Was he okay? He still wasn't talking or glowing or.. much of anything beyond keeping the pendant warm. He wouldn't do that if he was sick right? ...Wait, do ghosts even get sick? What was the right word for this. Exhaustion? Strained? It couldn't last forever, he'd be back to normal soon surely.

    TT: srry not ghost thing i guess i mean dave

    TT: rose filled me in a bit but it still dsnt make much sense

    TT: guess it makes more sense than me goin crzy tho

    TT: *crazy lol

    Yeah, no shit. Even this deep in everything there were times you worried you were just actually crazy and none of this unbelievable mess was real at all. Rubbing sleep from your eyes, you pushed yourself to sit upright in bed, put on your glasses, and started to slowly type out a reply with your pointer finger.

    EB: hey, yeah, i'm here. sorry, i just woke up.

    TT: o shit my bad lol

    EB: no, it's no problem. thanks for getting in contact though. and sorry for uh.

    EB: you know.

    EB: barging into your apartment and alerting you to the whole concept of ghosts i guess?

    TT: like i said dont worry abt it

    TT: im just glad everythins back to normal in here

    TT: I hadnt realized just how weird the place felt till now

    TT: muties finally able to chillax again

    EB: i'm still kind of amazed you believed us at all, but if you'd been feeling things for a while then i guess that would all just kind of line up, huh.

    TT: just another day in the bullshit mines

    TT: rose talks about stuff like this a lot but i kinda never rlly believed her

    TT: hindsight 2020 foot does not taste gr8

    You grinned at your phone and let the screen go dim once more before stuffing it into the pocket of some sweatpants you then wrangled on. Might as well not delay the inevitable and just get up. It took a few more tries than usual to get up, fatigue weighing heavy in your bones, but get up you eventually did to shuffle to the kitchen. A banana wound up in your other pocket, keeping your hands free for motoring around to thump down on the sofa. Jade perked up soon as you went down, shuffling her legs to get your weight off her feet and poking a head full of sleep wild hair out from underneath the throw.

    “...S'it morning..?”

    “Yeah. Or later, I didn't look at the time,” you admit, pulling your phone out of your pocket to peek as the banana was yanked out in a dual wielding motion. You bit the standing end of the banana and tipped it sideways till the peel cracked, making it easier to open one handed. Wisely, you waited till you had a bit mouth full of fruit to try talking more. “Closer to noon it look like. Oh, and Roxy wrote.”

    “How'd she get your number?” Jade asked. She crawled to the floor to get at her purse, rummaging around for a brush to start taming the mass down enough to apply some strategically placed hair ties.

    “Oh, no, she was writing from Rose's phone. I guess they met up today in one way or another? She said everything feels better at her place so.. I guess that at least shows Dave didn't dislodge somehow or anything.”

    “Has he.. y'know. Said anything?”

    You frowned and took another bite of banana, then another till it was gone, delaying as if the extra few seconds stalled would somehow give Dave enough incentive to interact again. No such luck.

    “No. Nothing.. Oh! But the pendant's warm! He's definitely in there, just..”

    Just what. Just tired? Just ghost broken? Did ghosts get sick? You sank down further in the sofa and let your leg slide further along the floor with a heavy sigh. This sucked. This really, really sucked.

    “...I wish I knew enough about what was happening to fix it.”

    “We could always ask Rose if you want. She seems to have good ideas on this stuff, maybe she'd understand what was happening,” said Jade, opening up a compact mirror to check and see if the low segmented pigtails were a good look that day. Verdict was a resounding yes from the way she snapped it shut with a happy grin and dropped the supplies back into the bag. “Or we can just wait and see what he does next on his own.”

    “You make me sound like a helicopter parent when you put things like that, Jade.”

    “Helicopter boyfriend.”

    “Helicopter whatever! Same thing!”

    “I mean-”

    “You know that's not what I meant,” you frowned. “I just want to do what's best by him. I'm kind of responsible for him now, and I already fucked that up in a big way. Getting him back's like a second chance, but I can't do the second chance right from the very beginning if something's wrong.”

    “Then call Rose,” shrugged Jade as she got up from the floor and sauntered off to pilfer breakfast from your fridge.

    “Yeah but what if that just makes it worse somehow, what if we're supposed to wait for something to happen!”

    “John either call her, let me call her, or shut up and relax! Holy shit, it's not the world ending, it's either getting more potential information from a verified source of accurate information, or making our own estimations based on study and other information sources. It's as if you've never heard of a reasonable hypothesis before,” she grumbled, then disappeared around the corner.

    You frowned the way she went.

    “You could've at least taken my banana peel with you!”

    “Fuck your banana peel, you've got a leg and two arms that aren't broken!”

    You immediately stuck your tongue out in her direction, already knowing she couldn't see it, but hoping she could feel your rankle even through the wall. Heaving another sigh, reveling in the dramatic for a moment, you turn your attention to your phone once more. It hadn't pinged again to signal an incoming flurry from Roxy, so you assumed it'd be safe to call Rose now. Jade was right. She'd probably know what to do.

    The phone rang several times before you heard the familiar voice on the other line and smiled.

    “Hello?”

    “Rose?”

    “Obviously.”

    “Yeah. So. ..Uh.” Come on, spit it out, what if this was time sensitive or something? “Dave's home now... I think. But he's not talking or anything. No dream visits, no lights, no interacting with anything. The most he's done is warm the pendant up,” you start to explain. “I'm worried he's. I don't know. Sick? Exhausted? What happens now, how can I help fix him? I finally got him home but I can't even talk to him.”

    Everything had started as a trickle before finishing in a rush of stress balled up into English and launched out of your mouth like cannon fire. You held your breath, listening closely for a response.

    “Well.”

    ….Well that wasn't what you were hoping for. It takes effort to remain quiet and wait instead of pointing that out and being sarcastic. Stress sarcasm didn't tend to do the best things.

    “I think he likely just needs rest. Roxy already caught me up to everything that happened prior to and just after him leaving. It's possible he just expended way too much energy while apart from you and needs to rest now. Perhaps even sap energy from his surroundings.”

    You frowned and furrowed your brow in thought. It had felt harder to get out of bed today, but was that Dave already sapping from you, or was it just the reality of getting around on crutches for too long at a stretch?

    “Is there anything I can do to help though? I mean. I guess if he's going to be doing that draining thing while this tired, is there anything I can do to make it easier for him to do it?”

    You heard Rose sigh and the creak of whatever seat she was in.

    “Hm. Well, not exactly anything you can DO. Not strictly speaking at least. You can make yourself more open to him, perhaps. Leave yourself like an open door, let him get at you easier. Keep him in range obviously. Make sure you eat and sleep often enough, perhaps rest up and take things a little easier. Be the reserve battery.”

    You wet your lips and nodded, though obviously Rose couldn't see you. You hoped she'd get the feeling you nodded anyway.

    “Is there any way I'll be able to tell when he's back to normal?”

    “When he's back to scattering papers and bothering you, most likely,” Rose said, the soft sound of a chuckle flavoring her words. “But I think he'll make himself known when he's able to. The way you've talked about him makes it seem like he's probably just as excited to talk to you as you are to talk to him.”

    It was a comforting though. Another few nods you hoped Rose was able to detect happened as you tried to collect the rest of your thoughts.

    “When should I try telling him about the things Jade and I learned? About.. y'know, about his everything. His history and stuff.”

    Rose was quiet for a moment. You could almost picture her biting her lip, pale teeth on black lipstick that somehow never seemed to smudge or get spotty.

    “I'd recommend keeping your mouth shut about much of that until he's for certain stronger. It's hard to gauge his specific reaction, but the last thing you'd want to have happen is for the information to make him decide to go and then be unable to leave due to not having enough power.”

    “So.. I just need to be a good battery and wait for him, and then get to the nitty gritty when he's all recovered and back to obnoxiously normal.”

    “That's the gist of it, yes. Keep him close and in contact. Think of it as spoon feeding someone overtaken by illness while they recover.”

    “I'm already recovering, I think I can handle a bit more of the resting. Hah, might make Jade happy to finally get off my feet and just take it easy for a while longer.”

    She chuckled. “No doubt. I'd be interested to hear about your progress as things continue, actually. Will you be tracking things as you were before? That data is extremely useful to have on hand, it gives good insight on whether things that feel like they should work are actually beneficial. Who knows who might else wind up in a similar situation someday with a spirit and need to tend it before it can properly move on?”

    “You make it sound like opening a ghost infirmary or rehabilitation place is an option, Rose.”

    Another soft sound from the other end of the phone and far too long of a pause spanned silence till you laughed, awkward. “Rose. I was kidding.”

    “Yes. Kidding. Still an intriguing idea. I wonder if spiritual rehabilitation could work in the case of negative spirits as we-”

    “Rose, I'm gonna have to let you go for now,” you interrupted. “I'm sorry. I'll call back later on with updates, okay?”

    “Have Jade call me later, if you could?”

    “About Dave?”

    “No, to make dinner plans. I think her phone may be drained, it just goes straight to voice mail.”

    That wasn't like her. Maybe she turned it off instead of it dying. Either way, you nod and make a sound of confirmation just in case Rose wasn't psychic enough to understand just how earnestly you'd been nodding this entire time you'd been conversing.

    “Sure thing. Thanks again, Rose. And uh.. Rose?”

    “Yes?”

    “...Could you tell Roxy to send me a bill for what all she'd need to get her laptop running again? I feel like it'd probably be better if I paid or helped pay for a good chunk of that. Even if it was an accident, just. ..Yeah.”

    It was kind of the least you could do, considering someone innocent got caught in some pretty serious crossfire. Things could have easily given way to a fire, taken out the entire apartment building or gotten others killed.

    “I'm sure she'll appreciate it. Between that and her phone, I think her run of bad luck took a bit more out of her than she'd be willing to admit. I'll just pass her your email address and she'll forward something.” A soft chuckle. “If she doesn't, then I'll figure it out and send the information your way instead.”

    “Perfect. Thank you again, Rose.”

    You hung up as Jade was coming back in with a bowl of cereal loaded to the brim, sipping milk from the edge where it precariously sat just waiting to spill all over the floor. She cast a green eyed glance your way to be sure she wouldn't squash anything before sitting down beside you on the sofa to crunch away. Apparently the back and forth sassing hadn't left any lingering bad tastes in her mouth towards you, at least judging by how close and comfortable she sat.

    There was no mystery involved if Jade Harley was angry with you. You were very, very well aware.

    “Rose said to treat myself like a good little battery and just wait on him to make the most of it. Give her updates.. and she wants you to call for dinner plans? Your phone's apparently off.”

    Jade swallowed sideways and nearly choked on her cereal.

    “What? Fuck. I forgot I did that. Right, don't worry about it, I'll call her soon as I finish this. ...But that's it, huh?”

    “Apparently so. Take it easy, eat and sleep plenty, keep him close. I wonder if talking to him helps even if he can't respond yet. Would he be able to hear?”

    “If he's awake he'll hear. Maybe he's just not strong enough to respond and he's actually wide awake worrying? Talking is a good idea.”

    “Great, more excuses to talk to myself in public, exactly what I want.”

    “Truly, you lead a charmed life,” she said with a grandiose gesture of her spoon before popping more cereal into her face. The mood seemed reset now that your obligations were complete. You had solved the mystery of how Dave died, of his origins. You'd gotten Dave back, though you weren't quite able to celebrate freely yet. You were going to repair damage done and set some debts right before they could become an issue. You had ideas on how to help fix things in a lot of ways.

    All you needed was patience.

    ...Fuck does patience suck sometimes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

    You'd spent nearly two weeks being the best battery you were able to be. You ate plenty of decent food, took naps whenever you could, and otherwise gave yourself as much physical rest as you were able to on the sofa when not busy. The entire time you were also murmuring to yourself, talking softly towards the pendant you couldn't help but keep touching, narrating your life and your thoughts to a sleeping spirit that you were guarding. The stone remained comfortingly warm as a hand you could hold in your time alone, and a few times you swore you could feel a soft pulse of a presence coming from it. There had been no speaking however. No dreams being visited.

    The paranoid part of your brain was worried enough that it started to offer up all kinds of awful scenarios that were possibly coming true, despite having clear evidence to the contrary that anything was going wrong. Dave was quiet, but he was there. You knew he was there. ...You just wished he'd react more than a pulse or warmth.

    Dave granted your wish one night. While you worked on your laptop in bed, fucking around on a forum in one window, talking with friends in another, and doing a little research into some new devices for spirit communication that were making the rounds in the online sources, you failed to notice the slender trail of red light leaving the pendant. You also failed to notice the red ball form, only realizing something was up when the corner of your eye caught the red haze starting to take a different shape.

    “Wh-. Dave?!”

    Fumbling with your laptop, you sat bolt upright in bed and glanced down to the pendant before back towards the apparition that was struggling to form something specific. Humanoid was a good start, but it seemed like he was struggling a bit to settle on a specific shape for very long, unable to make up his mind.

    “It's okay, you can stay an orb if you want! There's no rush!” you hurry to say, though he doesn't appear to acknowledge you. The red light strains and struggles, forming Dave's face before flickering and distorting grotesquely enough that you're taken aback. He keeps coming back to his own face, but between flashes of it are things you don't recognize. Monstrous half formed things, faces that belong to people you've never met, and even several times faces you recognized. You could have sworn you saw Jade in there a few times, and Roxy. You saw your own face once or twice before it ripped itself apart to bone and reformed as malleable as clay in the vapor.

    “...Dave?” you whisper. It's the face of Dave's brother that glances at you sharp as broken glass, mouth set in a thin line as his outer edges twitched and spasmed, only to once more break apart at the seams. He looked like he was melting, and it took effort not to panic. Something was definitely wrong, it was obvious to see, but WHAT was wrong. What specifically was wrong? What could even be done about it? You wet your lips and tried to think clearly as you could.

    Be open. Be a good battery. Dave had gone through a lot of strain before coming home, maybe this reforming problem was linked to that? It had to take a lot of power to form a specific shape as opposed to just forming out of habit. You were trying to think of any reasonable explanation you could, despite the taste of bile rising in the back of your throat.

    “Dave,” you try again, keeping his attention this time. Maybe just act like business as usual? “I missed you so much. I'm sorry this happened, but.. you're here now! You're home! And I'm recovering, and everything can go back to normal now.”

    A frown lit on Dave's ever changing face, but he seemed to be starting to decide on the features you were by now familiar with. His eyes were the things that stayed in place the most, barely there hints of lashes pale on a fairly normal shaped face. At least it wasn't splitting apart at the seams anymore.. His mouth still looked too big, too sharp, too inhuman, but it was progress. You gestured with your arms wide as if expecting a hug at any time to come your way, hoping against hope that maybe, just maybe, you'd get it to happen if you wished enough.

    “I know things haven't been easy. And.. I understand if you're mad. Or scared. Or-”

    Something was wrong. Words died on your lips as, finally, Dave's features went into the right order and appeared to hold steady yet the look in his eyes didn't change in the slightest. He looked at you as if looking through you, taking in the room as a whole as if he'd never seen it before in his life. If he was strong enough to form, why wasn't he talking to you at all? Or reaching for you?

    “...Dave,” you try again, moving so your legs were over the edge of your mattress and one hand was reaching for your crutches. “Dave. Say something. Anything. Or.. uh. Knock something over. I'm listening close as I can for you, I promise, but I'm not hearing anything. Am I just not trying hard enough or are you just not talking for some reason?”

    The spirit was glancing at his hands now, wispy trails of paleness caught in reddish mist that faded in and out of view between fully formed mass and smoke. Even with a fully open link, it still took a lot of energy to do that. You weren't surprised to hear the fan of your laptop suddenly kick into high gear behind you, cooling the inner workings down as it drew more power than usual from the wall. He didn't seem interested in talking, or in doing much at all. Compared to the spirit you were used to, how Dave was acting now just gave you the creeps. He hovered gently off the ground, face grim and expressionless as a doomed man, resolute and lost. A thousand yard stare at nothing at all.

    This was Dave, but it was the least Dave-like Dave you thought you'd ever seen. And considering how much you'd learned about him so recently and all the time you'd spent together so far, you considered yourself a pretty damn good gauge of Dave-ness. An unaccounted for lack of Dave-ness with no guidance on what had caused it. Could you soft reset ghosts? Turn it off and on again till the appearance stuck right.

    No, wait, that was a stupid idea. Focus, John. You shook your head hard to clear the thought from your head to focus on the other thoughts instead, the ones that felt instinctively like they might help. After all, you'd shared a body before, two minds in one form. You'd had his voice in your head, in your ear, in your heart. Maybe he just needed that..? Needed a touch, a push, a rekindling to remember properly after the traumatic time apart like someone might take their shoes off and flop on a sofa to make a place feel like home again after a return from a too long vacation. You picked up a single crutch and forced yourself upright to your feet, leaning your weight to keep balanced before taking a lumbering step forward, one hand out beseechingly.

    “Dave. Come here for a second.”

    He stared at you, through you again, then went back to looking at his hands as if they were foreign objects. Maybe they were. The thought chilled your blood, but you lumbered forward another careful step, nearly touching him. It would be okay. It'd be fine. You could do this.

    Dave flinched when your hand went through him as if he'd not realized just how close you were. ...Wait, had he felt that? The contact had been chilly, vaguely electric, but welcome. Familiar. Just needed to keep contact up for it to be warm, right?

    “Come on.. Here. Remember when we were at the aquarium?” you asked, pausing to grin at him. “Would yoooou... want to try that again? No cars this time. It was kind of fun in hindsight. Scary but interesting to back seat in my own body?”

    Were you offering casual possession to an Not-Very-Dave-Like Dave? Yes. Yes you were. It felt important, the closest thing to a hug you could manage when all you craved was contact with someone who couldn't do the literal contact thing very well. Dave stared vacantly, but didn't seem like he was going to dart away anywhere, or at least attempt to given the limitations of the place he was still tethered to. A thought of taming timid woodland creatures crossed your mind as you held your hand out in offer, patient, quiet, smiling.

    “Come on. Come closer. I've really missed you, I can see you, you can see me. I can't hear you and I'm dying for a chat.”

    More staring. ...Okay, you weren't a very patient man in hindsight, but the attempt was still happening.

    “Dave. Come here,” you said again.

    More staring.

    Well. Now or never. Acting quickly, you moved your crutch forward and lunged for the spirit in his red haze as if you were trying to bear hug him, forcing yourself to think as openly as you could. Welcoming as an open door, trying to recreate anything you could from the aquarium as you went right through him and lurched uncoordinatedly straight into your dresser drawers. Another hard wobble as you rebounded too hard in a panic of over-correcting and started to go backwards, passing through Dave a second time directly before starting to head for the floor.

    Though you hadn't been able to see it, the first pass through Dave's body had had a definite effect, a small spark of reaction, memory, something familiar. He'd watched your graceless fumble as well as your rebound without really reacting much beyond observation, too busy trying to organize his own slowly waking thoughts to go further.

    ...Was he home? Where was this? He'd been somewhere else, right? This felt different, it looked different, there was no pink everywhere, no cat.. It felt familiar. Looked familiar. So did the person falling.

    Falling?

    Fuck, falling.

    You were wide eyed and nearly to the floor when the hand extended your direction, and without a second thought you reached up to grab it. Foolish really, trying to grab the hand of a ghost. There was nothing there to really grab, nothing to hold on to or to use to stop the inevitable crash to the ground, but what could you say? When falling the urge to grab a hand was instinctive. Your hand felt like it was numb with cold before it suddenly surged hot, heat racing up your arm and down your spine, making your head swim. You were aware you were changing position and of the world changing place around you, but kept bracing for the impact on the back of your head.

    It never came.

    You felt pressure on your elbows, forearms, and good knee instead. The brunt of the impact was taken in your healthy limbs, injured leg awkwardly elevated and hovering an inch or two above the ground before slowly lowering down.

    ...Wow. That was pretty cool! You'd never even thought of turning like that, it was kind of like a stunt man's moves or something out of a movie. Most importantly, however, you hadn't bashed the back of your head in like a total idiot who'd tried to hug a ghost! Just needed to get up then.

    …

    Just. Needed to get up.

    …

    Preferably with the moving and the getting up actions actually happening instead of just waiting. You tried again, but failed to move out of the weight bearing stance that had successfully broken your fall. Nothing felt heavy or really out of place. More like it felt like your joints were a glimpse of what life was like as the Tin Man after being left out in the rain too long, immobilized. You could feel your glasses starting to slide off your nose towards the ground but couldn't catch and readjust them. They slowly slipped bit by bit off your face before thumping to the ground, leaving your vision blurry and soft.

    ...John?

    “Dave?”

    Well, at least talking was happening. You were grateful your mouth could move, but the talking wasn't very soothing in the face of suddenly being an immobilized statue on the floor.

    “Dave, did. ..Wait, Dave, you're talking now! Where are you at, I can hear you really clearly now!” you realized, voice raising in pitch a bit as the excitement built. Shit, it'd been way too long since you last heard his voice, you hadn't really realized how great it would be to hear him again.

    JOHN

    “Yes, I can hear you! Dave, come down where I can see you, I can't move, I can't see shit at all.”

    ...Wait.

    “...Dave are you why I can't move. Where are you at. I can't see shit,” you repeated, “let me see where you are.”

    John John John John John John John

    “Dave, I'm happy to hear you too but like. Seriously, did you do this?” Had to be. In hindsight there was no way you'd be able to do a cool mid-movement flip like that to avoid damaging yourself in a fall. You were not nearly that coordinated. You felt warmth blossom in your chest and down your spine again, down either leg. You could wiggle your toes for a moment before the statue effect was in place once more.

    JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN JOHN HOME JOHN HOME SAFE JOHN HOME

    “Dave. Dave. Let me stand up! I'm gonna get a cramp! Do whatever you were doing a second ago, I could kinda move for a moment there! You can talk and yell at me all you want but just. Can we go to the bed again? I don't want my leg to hurt.”

    The excited thrumming focused in your chest like a steady bouncing, or like one of those wacky weasel toys that wiggled the ferret on the motorized ball in random directions. You could still hear his voice as if it were getting further and further away before realizing the warmth was focusing centrally before trying to expand outward to each limb at the same time. This was very different from the experience at the aquarium but.. it wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination. It was kind of comforting actually, especially once you started to realize where things were and could hone in on where Dave was. It had forced you to stop acting automatically and to instead focus inwards at an acute angle that got rid of the borders around your body and the world around you.

    Once again, your body housed two hearts for even a brief moment and you couldn't quite explain just how complete it actually made you feel compared to normal. Not too full but comfortable. Safer. ...Were you missing something, to feel this way? Or was it just a sign of you having a better capacity to work with others?

    Or was it just Dave?

    The warmth ran all the way to your fingertips, coursing through your veins and muscles till you could feel your arms wobble and then go limp. You face planted solidly against your glasses, mashing your nose into the frames hard enough that for a second you were scared you'd break them, pushing back up onto your hands with a sharp gasp. Okay. There was the movement again, but the warmth wasn't dissipating. You could still feel it in your chest, bouncing from side to side and up and down, spinning in circles as your own name was chanted in your ears excitedly.

    JOHN John John JOHN home safe homehomehomesafejohn JOHN SAFE HOME JOHN JOHN JOHNJOHNJOHN!

    You pushed upright to sit flat on your ass and picked up your glasses, taking a moment to rub them clean with the bottom edge of your shirt before putting them back into place. The room returned to crisp, clear outlines and familiar shapes. The pendant was all but burning at your neck, and you realized your lips were curled into a smile that was broad enough it made your cheeks hurt. You were.. happy. Absolutely happy. Whatever had happened between you and Dave, it had fixed the problem before it truly could get started and restored the world to its rightful state of reunion. This was what you'd missed last night when your worry hung in your mind as tangible as spoiled milk.

    “I missed you, Dave,” you whispered, and hugged yourself as tightly as you could. The warmth stopped bouncing around to hold perfectly still for a moment before surging into both of your arms. You realized you couldn't move them again, both hands locked firmly to your upper arms before they began to make rubbing motions, not quite numb but not quite usable. You may have hugged yourself, but you didn't exactly expect 'yourself' to hug you back.

    “Could you feel that too, Dave? Is that why you're doing this?”

    This was unexplored territory, and held plenty of implications you were sure, but in the moment you didn't give a fuck. That fulfilled sensation, the warmth, the foreign feeling of your own hands on your arms that steadily trailed up towards your throat and then your own face as if they were the hands of another? All of it was new and all of it was just memories for the making and taking. You were getting to hug Dave in a flesh and blood way, even if it were only for the moment, and nothing could ever take that away from you. Nobody could claim it was impossible.

    ... John..

    Were you. ..Were you crying? You weren't crying, were you? You were. You could feel hot trails on your face that cooled quickly, and the warmth in your chest was soon joined by a clenching that released in a huffed sob. It was relief, you told yourself. The full relief of everything being okay and returning to normal, of nothing being wrong finally, of questions being answered and of that all but overwhelming sensation of not being alone anymore in your own skin.

    Your right hand lifted to rub your nose as you snorted in an ungainly way to clear your nose. Your left hand, outside of your control, carefully rubbed some of the water from your eyes with its fingertips.

    ...Don't cry...

    “Don't tell me what to do,” you snuffed. “I'll cry if I feel like it, do you have any idea how scared I was that you were gone forever? And then I get you back and you-! And. And you acted like you weren't really there even when you were in front of me and now everything's just. Everything's okay! Everything's okay now!”

    ...Still crying...

    “Shut up and let me have this,” you mumbled. Though the one hand stayed near your face, the arm you were able to move went to hug tight around your rib cage again, trying to hold everything together in case it somehow fell apart or flew away to the breeze. “Let me have this.. Let me have you,” you murmured.

    The tension in your chest lifted and the warmth returned to your limbs, trying to spread to all four at once before it ricocheted around your rib cage again and went straight to your head. You didn't mind the dizziness or the slight ring in your ears, so long as you got to hug it out just a little bit longer.

    “Stay with me like this. Even just a while longer, Dave. ..Please.”

    The warmth stayed, solid and still as stone. You had a feeling it wouldn't be going anywhere any time soon and were grateful. You'd tell the good news to everyone else soon enough. For the time being, though, this happiness was all yours.