#heaven knows I enjoy many things that others consider weird and stupid

[uwudonoodle]

I will preface this by saying I am not into the whole live action superhero thing that's been going on for the last 20 years (I specify live action, because animated Miles Morales Spiderman is the exception for me).

Today while at the gym, I got my first exposure to DC's Suicide Squad. I only caught the last 30 minutes of the movie while walking on the treadmill. The TV was like 35 feet away, too far to even read subtitles, and I was listening to music at the time. With that context, here's my thoughts:

So this one-eyed dude shows up to terrorize the city, and my first thought is - Is this an episode of MST3K?

Then out of it's armpit flies all these tiny starfish that latched onto people's faces, ala alien style.

It's a good thing I didn't see this in theaters, because I have never had such a hard time stifling giggles in public.

Then this guy shows up, and at first I thought that they'd forgotten to CG out his dot suit, but nope that's just his superhero outfit.

What's your superhero name, bud? Mr. Wonderbread?

Then out of nowhere, somebody bitch slapped Viola Davis. It's a good thing treadmills have handles, because I about died when she dropped out of frame. Hope she's okay.

Then Barbie jumped inside the starfish, and every rat in the city followed her. Even though I was wondering if she was going to drown, it was somehow shot as this ethereal beautifully scene???

Also, did they spend the entire budget on that fat starfish's jiggle physics? It was so bouncy...

[navree]

I never cared before about Alys when I've read F&B but the way some of those shippers hate her so much , in Twitter i see alot of them call her ugly hag , gro**mer and so many misgonystic/ ageism names and even hope for her to get cut from the show.. What for ? She is very important to the narrative and especially to Aemond's arc...

Yeah, shippers of other things and antis have been getting weirrrrrrrrrd about Alys. And that's not just a thing specific to her, I've seen some people on my side say weird shit about Helaena (which is fucked up she's the number one girlie y'all are fake fucking Green fans if you're gonna shit on Helaena for no reason), and I'm really not looking forward to anything the Daemon/Rhaenyra shippers are going to have to say once Nettles shows up. Chillest shippers I've seen in this fandom thus far are the Rhaenicents, God bless. And it'd be one thing on its own if I could trust that this was just confined to dislike of a character, but considering the track record people have when it comes to ASOIAF related media (the people who made fun of Emilia Clarke's appearance and her brain injuries and bullied Emily Carey off of social media are never going to see Heaven), I do not trust these people not be utterly vitriolic to whichever actress they ultimately cast as Alys.

People can have their criticisms of the ship, they can point out what they want about the age difference (even though it's not grooming because words have meanings Jesus Christ, not to mention Aemond has significantly more power in the relationship than Alys does) or just not enjoy it, that's all fair and valid. But it's really weird to demand that Alys be cut entirely when she's a unique part of her story and offers a unique perspective that no other character can offer, as well as her place in the stories and arcs not just for Aemond but for Daemon and Larys and honestly even Criston cuz he was at Harrenhal too. Alys can't be replaced with another character, no one occupies the part of the story she's a part of in the way that she does, that's why she as a character exists. Nor is it necessarily "out of character" for Aemond to fall for her or prioritize her once he does, and it's not him "abandoning his family for some chick" as I've seen some people actually say. For one, sorry that Aemond's recorded actions as written down in one book aren't fitting into what you want to happen, but that's on you, not the writing. If, over the course of a single story, a character's canon actions and canon thoughts and canon feelings and canon words feel "out of character" to you, then you simply do not have an accurate read on that character, I'm sorry. For two, it's not even him abandoning his family or being out of character. Nothing about their relationship is out of bounds for the kind of person that Aemond is, and as I mentioned in a prior ask, Aemond is not in a position to help his family. Even beyond the fact that Aemond considers Daemon their biggest threat at the moment and his primary goal was to get rid of him before thinking of any way to depose Rhaenyra, his family's either dead or prisoners to a hostile faction, and any attempt to try and free the ones he knows are alive just aren't feasible at that time (if you think Aemond's going to gamble the lives of his mother and his sister on the off chance that an assault on Rhaenyra might succeed, then you're stupid, no two ways about it). With that backdrop, it makes perfect sense that Aemond is at least going to fight tooth and nail for the one person he does have and does love, that he can save, because he can't do anything for Alicent or Helaena or Aegon who at this point might even be dead, but he can do something to keep Alys safe and well by his side. And even if you want to be incredibly cynical about it, then at this point in time Alys could potentially be carrying a future claimant for the Greens. No one knows where Aegon is, Jaehaera is ineligible for the throne under Westerosi customs and laws, Jaehaerys and Maelor are both dead, and Aemond and Daeron are both actively participating in deadly combat that could (and does) kill them. For pragmatism alone, Aemond wanting to ensure that, if Alys is carrying a son, that this son survives to continue pressing the claims set forth by their side, or Hell even just to make it so Rhaenyra doesn't win, makes sense.

Even if you want to ignore the importance Alys brings to the narrative, what she furthers in Aemond's arc, what his love for her can reveal to us about the kind of character that he is, that still doesn't make anything about the romance or the actions it spurs "out of character" or an indictment on Aemond, nor does it justify being weird and vile about a fictional character or people who enjoy her relationship with another fictional character. Ya fucking freaks.

[teaboot]

I don't remember a lot, but from what memories I do have, the world as a baby or a toddler is a fucking nightmare.

NOTHING is designed for you.

Stair steps if you can't walk are a one-way nightmare. Crawling up? Sure. Crawling down? Well, you can go head first and fall, which is terrifying, or you can slowly scoot backwards and feel for the next step with your feet, which feels pretty much exactly like an adult going down an unfamiliar staircase in the pitch black dark.

Stair steps if you CAN walk are damn near knee height and you have to haul your entire body through steep lunges and squats to get up or down.

Food time? Someone plops your ass in a chair and puts a plate of food on a table at your neck level, hands you a wiggly flat stick and tells you to eat, but don't make a mess. You can't move the plate and you can't stand up or use your hands, even though those are straight up the most accessible and intuitive options. Fuckin' A, thanks.

And car seats, FUCK, the ones with the weird lap bar? One buckle goes between your legs and it's an eternal wedgie. You need to stretch or you get a cramp? Fuck that, you sit in one position for however long it takes. Better not drop your shit with your fumbly bastard hands because you're not getting it back, and then it's just you and the Padded Sensory Deprivation Restraint for all eternity.

And gods above, Christ, TALKING. Even if by some miracle you know EXACTLY the words you want, your tongue is like a lump of meat in your mouth. You KNOW what you want it to do, but it rolls when you don't want it to and you have to focus so much attention if you need to make it perfect.

And you WILL have to make it perfect, because some fucking adult who you know DAMN WELL doesn't consider you a real, thinking human person will ABSOLUTELY ask, "Did you mean this?" Or, "It's pronounced like this", or, HEAVEN ABOVE, "That's a big word!"

Like YEah Bitch, It's a HUGE word, who gives a shit? How does the length of a word matter more than the meaning I was trying to communicate? Can we not get sidetracked, here? Were you actually listening?

Shit. Fuck. And every random stranger and their dog grinning and staring and waving at you like they expect you to do a trick? Getting WAY too familiar? Some people are fine, but others had just the worst vibes. Skin-crawly. Ugh.

Jesus, I haven't thought about it this long in forever. Saccharine, bubbly children's media that literally spells shit out like you've never heard of anything before? Condescending grownups who coo every time you try to communicate?

Fine motor skills. Jesus, does nobody else remember picturing something perfectly in your head, knowing precisely what you wanted to do and how to do it, just for your stupid half-yours, half-not hands or feet or fingers betray you completely? The FRUSTRATION?

Your brain doesn't work, your body doesn't work, you get fevers and chills and aches and your teeth get sore and fall out, everything is too big and you have no freedom over your own body or life.

You're aware of so many of your own limitations, but at the same time there are things that you don't know exist that you're also limited in, and all the while everyone expects you to keep up and not question it.

Everyone is in such a hurry to speed up through the things you want to linger in, and is so painfully slow when you're ready to move on.

And all the while, this vague, faceless shadow lingers over you: That you will someday be Different, Not Yourself Anymore, but One Of Them, and this someday-you will Finally Understand everything you don't, and everything good and wonderful that you really, truly do enjoy will be gone, just like it's gone to Them.

And all you can do is promise yourself that you'll remember. That you'll fight this inevitable transformation into The Other.

You promise yourself that you will hold onto who you are and bury it deep, and that maybe if you're strong enough you won't fade away like they did.

You might succeed. You might save yourself.

But you will come out on the other side changed nonetheless, and you may find yourself feeling very alone in this new world.

[rcksmith]

Heaven — Five Hargreeves

Request: “Can I get 53, 31, 48 from fluff and 28 and 29 and 68 with heavy smut? Where Five is an emotionless Assassin from the commission and does his job without remorse or mercy until he meets the reader and he will do anything to make her his? And will kill anyone who gets in his way between him and the reader? If your okay with this!”

Fluff prompts:

31. “I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

48. “nothing else matters except for you.”

53. “There are no limits when it comes to you. I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”

Smut prompts:

28. “Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?”

29. “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

68. “Say my name over and over again and, once you think you’ve said it loud enough, scream it. I want the whole neighborhood to know who’s making you feel good.“

A/N: We not tolerate any pedophilia here !!

I write about Five with their 20s. I write the same about the characters of Harry Potter.

My God, I loved it so much!! Thank you so much for request, I loved writing it!💖💖 I hope you like!

Guys, I really understand who doesn’t feel comfortable reading or writing Five’s smut. But I always say that I only write with him (any genre: romance, fluff or angst) with the notion that Five is 20 years old here. All of my fanfics mention swearing or sex, even if it is a memory or something shallow, but as I am writing with Five as an adult, it is consistent that the fic has aspects of an adult life.//

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

Couple: Five Hargreeves / Fem! Reader.

Warnings: SMUT, SMUT, bad words, blood, murder, mention of death (and sooo explicit heavy smut), fluff too.

— — — — —

He was not a saint.

The trail of blood, bodies and the smell of death he had left behind could terrify even the strongest mind. He could get the devil to run.

He has already broken many bones, but none of them were his own. Once, there was an army, he was alone, and he broke many bones.

He was not a saint.

If there was a note for death and danger, it would be his symphony of life. Echoing and constant whenever the viscous and metallic liquid stained him white shirt.

Five Hargreeves did not consider himself a good person. But he didn't think he was bad too. He was just minding his own business. Even if it meant killing the innocent people that the Commission was ordering.

It was ironic. Five had been raised by Reginald to be a hero, to save people, and what he was doing was just the opposite. Was Needed cold blood, a focused mind, an objective.

Five had a closed and serious countenance. And in his case, the book could very well be judged by the cover, because Five it was also closed and serious inside. He It had the typical soul of a storm and a rough sea, where the wind blew with fury and the rain punished, while the sea was brutal and with aggressive waves capable of swallowing up a city in its entirety.

Anyone could see the warning sign hanging from his chest: "GIVE UP ALL THE HOPE IF YOU ENTER HERE." He was advancing with heavy artillery. Five was heavy artillery. The Commission considered he best of the best.

Five Hargreeves could get the devil to run. Nobody couldn't fool him, hook him, he wasn't a trout. He was a shark, dangerous and big. With a sharp and cruelly intelligent mind. Working in an equally sharp and cruelly intelligent environment.

But none of that bothered him. Five did not fear the fury of the Commission or its representatives. Machiavelli said that: you can only insult the other if you are not afraid of his retaliation. And Five feared no one. When angry, he had the same caustic look that Lucifer threw around shortly after The Fall. And it was a surprise that that look did not leave a trail of rubble wherever it passed.

Five did not liked what he job did, but it did not affect that he was very good at it. He had been anesthetized for years. Submerged in an inertia of emotions that not even the largest number of victims could tremble. He was already convinced that his furthermore emotions were buried as deep as possible in his soul of the troubled sea, lost. Such as Atlantida. Perhaps, like Atlandida, his emotions were a myth.

And Five had already accepted that. Even he sets eyes on you.

It was another routine day of that profane work: finding the target, shooting down, not leaving witnesses and leaving. And that was exactly what would be done. If it was not you.

Five was seated at one of the tables at a local Irish bar, the glass filled with cold beer set in front of him. The rays of the sun, from a year that he did not even care to know more about, were entering inside the large windows that overlooked the busy streets. People's humorous conversations filled that place with bright, welcoming walls, but Five felt none of it. Anesthetized.

But for some reason, when the door bell rang when someone came in, he raised his face towards the door and... his breath was gone.

The moment you walked through that door, Five knew it was hopeless for him. Your beauty was blinding. Sublime. Impressive. He felt as if his whole life had been wandering in the desert and finally found his oasis. Lepid, fierce heat swept Five's body from the top of his head with night-black hair to the tip of his feet.

You wandered your eyes around the place, and you seemed to find what you wanted because your eyes softened and you went towards your goal.

But just as Five was oblivious to the world because of you, so were you oblivious to the world, but for something else. And it was like this, oblivious, that you hit your waist on the front end of Five's table, causing his glass to swing and fall on the table, pouring all the beer on the floor. Five stood up quickly to keep from getting wet, but a few splashes of the cold drink had hit his suit.

“Oh my God, I'm so sorry!”

You said promptly, trembling hands quickly lifting the glass from the table, your voice nervous and embarrassed. You righted his table while the waitress came to clean up the spilled liquid.

“I wet your suit, god, I'm so sorry.” And when Five noticed,your hands were drying the beer droplets with a napkin.

That was when the two of you looked at each other for the first time. The heat immediately gave way to a cold sweat.

Something inside him stirred and woke up, something that had been dormant for years. Sensations that had never before appeared now snaked through his body, waiting for the best time to hang him. Even with a layer of clothing and a napkin, Five felt the warmth of you touch, and he wondered if you had been forged in the sun.

Dangerous. The sensations you aroused in him were dangerous. And therefore, you were dangerous.

“It's all right.”

If it had been anyone else, Five would have burst. His moods were not one of the best and he felt that anything could set him on fire.

But apparently, not for you.

That afternoon, Five convinced you to join him, saying, whit charming, he would forget about the incident if you sat with him.

He tried to convince himself not to do that, that he should just give a mocking smile and leave. He had done this millions of times, and he knew it was one of the best ways to avoid headaches. Even so, the smile didn't come and he couldn't turn his back on you.

The sensations you stirred up in him were addictive, and Five was lost in a hurricane, trying to understand what was happening to him. But he couldn't let you go. Not without knowing his name.

But it took on proportions that he never considered. You were funny, witty, with an intelligent, warm gleam in your eyes. At that moment, while Five found himself really enjoying someone's company instead of just tolerating it, he felt out of his own body.

God, he was losing track of reality.

He had a job to do, a person to finish. The list was full but... but his body didn't order any muscles to move. It was like... while you were talking to him, with an extraordinary friendliness and ease of making friends, he felt alive for the first time.

Five had been alive for 25 years. But only now did he feel his own heart beat.

But when your time inevitably came, and you said goodbye and thanked you for the lunch that Five and you had — he didn't even remember how the situation got there. Since when did he have lunch with someone? — As soon as you left for that door, it took with you all the new feelings that were aroused within him.

Executing the target that day was weird, going to Motel's room was weird, and cleaning the blood was weird. There was something different, a shortness of breath, an itch in the palm of his hand, his body desperate for something he didn't know what it was.

Five Hargreeves stayed in that martyrdom for days, weeks. He was trying to understand his own body, his own mind. He felt he was losing his sanity and that the body, now that he experienced what it was like to be alive, repudiated the feeling of feeling dead.

He was trapped in some damn spell that you had cast on him. If Five looked in the mirror at the place of the chest you touched over his shirt, he could feel his skin tingle.

Fuck, he was losing his sanity!

The situation was stupid, he didn't need anyone, he didn't depend on anyone. But after the second week Five found himself returning to that bar again, feeling completely stupid to be looking for someone he barely knew.

What a stupid thing. He said to himself as soon as entered that place.

But that's when he saw you. With the bar uniform on, you hair tied up in a ponytail with a few strands dangling from your face, your chest slightly heaving, a pad of paper with a pen in hands. His heart skipped a beat, as if he found something he didn't even know was lost.

Five felt lost amidst a jumble of thoughts and reactions. But as soon as you saw him, with a smile was purely sincere and happy appearing on you lips and went towards him, the answers to all the questions that plagued him for weeks flashed in his mind like neon lights:

I want her.

He wanted you since the day he saw you. You were beautiful, with a maddening body, a sublime smile and the heat of a thousand suns. Now Five realized that had never wanted anything so desperately in his life.

Five thought he understood the desire: an attraction, a magnetic current between two people. He thought he knew what lust was: an intense hunger, a strong yearning. And he found out that he didn't understand anything.

For when you embraced him and greeted him with a kiss on the cheek, the desire was a hot, black whirlwind that ripped you from end to end, with dizzying speed, and dragged you towards perdition, below any intellect. Five thought he was going crazy when he felt your heart beat next to his, in the same frantic rhythm. The same compass needed.

But Five was not going crazy. He wasn’t crazy when he saw your cheeks flush when he looked at you more carefully, he wasn’t crazy when he noticed your hands trembling slightly with his presence.

Were you feeling the same things?

Yes. And he found that out when first kissed you. It had been a few weeks since he had used, for himself, the excuse that he was going to that bar just to drink something and not to see you again.

But that was not how you two met that day

Five had just finished a job that did not end soo much great. A fight had taken place, and a bullet had grazed his left shoulder, tearing through the flesh. His clothes were flooded with red, thick, metallic liquid. His muscles ached and the wound stung like hell.

He was on his way back when the car popped loudly, the car stalled in place and smoke began to rise from the bikes.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me!” Five punched the steering wheel, cursed the Commission for making such a damn fuck thing available.

He had just gotten out of the car when a car passed by and stopped.

“Five?” This time, his body throbbed for something else instead of pain.

He saw you get out of the car, your eyes shocked, the livid concern on your face, your hands shaking.

“My god, are you okay?!”

Five hated to appear that he was not able to deal with anything, but there was no plausible and peaceful lie to what you were seeing. You didn't let him make any decisions at that moment, you just stuck him in you own car, and when the chance of taking Five to the hospital had been vehemently denied by him, you ran the car to you own apartment.

“Oh my god, oh my god.”

You whispered to yourself, now at in your bed, closing the cut on Five's shoulder after he took a shower.

“I can do this.” He repeated it for the ninth time, but you shook your head.

But, while for you the situation was only for first aid, for Five it was torture in a very different sense.

Your touch was addictive, hot and fiery. Five didn't want to want you, but he did. He wanted you to beg for it too, so that Five could pretend to be in control. He wanted you to burn for him, just as he always burned when he was near you.

Under a light gauze, you covered the bruise on his shoulder, letting out a loud sigh that went to another very specific spot on Five's body. You asked for an explanation and he said that he had been mugged and reacted, but that the bandits had received what they deserved. He had to lie. At least for now. At least while he wanted you so much to touch him.

Perhaps this madness would pass.

But it didn't pass, your hands were still on Five's warm skin and he felt his heart pounding in his chest.

He wanted you. Holy Mother of God, he wanted you so fuck much! The knuckles of his fingers were whitened, the strength with which he clenched his fists.

But you whispered his name under your breath, as if you too were trapped in that cloud of lust and passion. So it was the end. Five kissed you, hungry, desperate, as if he wasn't going to have a tomorrow. He pulled you around the waist so you could sit on his lap, his hands roaming your body, squeezing all the flesh he could touch.

“I was asking how much more time was take to you to kiss me.”

You whispered against his lips, with a mischievous smile on your face, your hands roaming through his hair as you held a sigh when he adjusted your hips under you. God only knows how long you've been dreaming about this guy.

“Such a needy little thing, aren't you?” Five barely recognized his own voice.

This time, you who kissed him, your body burning in suppressed passion and desire, burning under the intense touch of Five. You hardly saw it when your shirt left, nor when you skirt went up until it was exposed to him. You whimpered, your lips going down to his neck and hiding your face there, squirming when his hand went up from your thigh to its pulsating center.

“Your skin is so hot. You were wishing for that, weren't you?” Five whispered, his voice hoarse.

You heart was beating fast in chest, cheeks were flushed, and Five brought your face up to look at him, lust bubbling in her eyes. You frantically agreed, rummaging you hips in him when you gasped. He curled his mouth over your left breast, groaning against your skin as you tightened your fingers on the back of his neck.

“F-five!” The liquid dripped from inside you to your thighs, and Five let out a loud moan of satisfaction when he saw it.

He raised his mouth to you, and, without kissing you, he sighed maliciously on yours lips: “I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

After that point, everything became more crude. Five's touch on your waist gained pressure, marking your skin with purple marks on his fingers, his mouth bit and sucked on your breast, like a hungry man, and you were being driven crazy.

That's when two of his fingers entered you, deep, strong, opening your walls.

"Five!" You moaned loudly, your body hot under his lap, at the mercy of lustful desires.

“Shit! You are so tight!” His moan transcended between painful and angry, as if you were pushing him to the limit. “How are you going to put up with my dick, doll? You almost can't take my fingers!”

Five jerked his fingers inside you and hit rock bottom. You screamed, tears welling up in your eyes, the walls throbbing on his dick.

“Answer me!” His free hand came down on your thigh, and you bit your lip to keep from moaning loudly again.

“II am going to put up with you-everything.” You whined.

“How much?!” Five pulled your chin up to look at him, the hunger overwhelming his eyes, he's holding on as much as possible so he doesn't deal too badly with you.

Not yet.

“An-Anything as you give it to me.” You purred like a kitten "Fuck me hard, Five."

Oh you didn't say that.

His hand came down on your left cheek, letting out a soft slap and pulled your chin back at him, he jaw clenched by the effort he made to keep from fucking and hitting you so hard.

“Do you want it hard?! I will leave you without walking for days!” Five got up with you on his lap, threw you on the bed and slapped your thigh.

“Turn around!” He ordered in a snarl, removing his own pants, and as soon as you positioned yourself with your hips up and your face on the mattress, a hard, brutal slap made you moan loudly, squeezing your hands on the pillow.

The right hand wrapped around your hair, pulling your face off the pillow as Five positioned itself behind you.

“What you want?” He growled.

“I whant You fuck me hard!” God, you were begging, you needed him so much, you wanted him so much.

“How much hard?”

“Much! I want you to fuck me until I can't stay…”

Five came inside you brutally, pushing your body onto the mattress, making you moan loudly. He didn't let you finish, it barely gave you time to moan. As soon as he started to move, his rhythm became relentless, coarse, rude, forcing himself deeper inside you with each thrust.

Tears stung your face, you pussy throbbed in excitement, so fucking good that you felt like you were in heaven.

“What is it, lillet slut?” He pushed deeper, his voice arrogant and condescending, “Am I too big for you? For that tight pussy?” A slap went down your ass again, the other hand never coming out of your hair.

“F-fi-five! Please, I need this so much!”

The desperation in your voice did things to him, further igniting Five's desire to fuck you until he broke you.

“You were so tight! So. fucking. tight!” And you moaned and pushed him hips at him like you couldn't live without what he gave you. “Fuck, this is what you wanted, isn't it? You wanted me to broke you!”

“Yes!” You screamed as he keeping fuck you deeper and deeper “Pl-please!”

Your voice was too much for him! Five's hunger snarled and roared like a beast, increasing the desire to get you so badly. He hit your ass hard, letting go of your hair and sticking both hands on your waist, pulling you violently to his dick.

“Say my name over and over again! And, once you think you’ve said it loud enough, scream it. I want the whole neighborhood to know who’s making you feel good! ” Five combined a deep thrust with the tug on his waist, making his dick reach your unimaginable corners.

“Five!”

“Higher!” A slap.

“Five!” One more slap.

“Higher!” Another slap.

“F-FIVE!”

His mouth went to your shoulder, his lips tightening there as he pushed himself deep inside you. You were very close, super stimulated, your legs were shaking, your heart was pounding.

Five was fucking you so hard that you could barely groan, giving you sensations that you never felt before. You came with a loud groan, trembling on his dick, losing your breath when Five sank to the bottom of the well and came there, filling you with his hot cum.

Five Hargreeves thought that after that he would be free of your effects, freed from that desperation that was always wanting to be with you.

But then again, he was deeply mistaken.

Everything only increased in unimaginable proportions. Jealousy came, the overwhelming sense of protection, the need to be with you. Now he not only fucked you hard, but he made a point of leaving you at work and picking you up at night.

And that's when you said you loved him. And his world has turned inside out once again. Five didn't respond right away, he was dumbfounded and bewildered, and you said he only had to speak when he was ready.

He love you? That question hung around his mind for days.

Five felt at peace with you company, relaxed with your touch, happy whenever he heard your voice. You were the only place he thought about going back after a hard job, after the day had gotten the best of him.

He love you?

That was when The Handler told him, in one day, that it was good that his new “pet” did not make him deviate from the Commission's objectives.

Five has never felt so furious in his life. He came as close to her as possible, making her look death in the eye, and said that if any hair disappeared from your pretty head, he would stop everything and kill everyone on that commission. And The Handler knew that Five was not bluffing.

That's when he found out that he loved you. That the idea of ​​seeing you hurt, even if it was a scratch, was unacceptable. And that's when Five realized that his world only revolved when you were with him.

“I love you.” He released that night, you were lying on his chest, watching some series on TV when Five cut off the characters' lines.

You looked at him in bewilderment, propping yourself up on your elbow to see him better.

“What?”

Five looked him in the eye, and in the most sincere and truthful way, he said: "nothing else matters except for you."

Your eyes filled with tears, and you kissed him as if Five were your whole world. In fact, he certainly were your world. But it was at that moment that he said he had to talk to you, and that's when he told you the whole truth.

Shocked would be an understatement to say what you felt at that moment.

It took a few days for you to digest the whole truth and several conversations with Five to understand what was really going on. You saw his powers, his briefcase, his life story. And Five knew, when the dust settled and you said that none of that mattered, that you really loved him.

“I just can't have anything with someone who hides things from me.” You said “ I understand the reasons why you didn't tell me before, but now I don't want any more lies between us.”

“None.” He smiled, and looked at you as if he finally understood that you loved him.

And it is logical that you noticed.

“ I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you." You laughed.

And in that moment, in that fraction of a second, Five realized that he would never be able to live without you.

“I'm just afraid of your job. Whether you get hurt or they want to hurt you coming after me and…”

Five didn't let you finish. He held you in his hands, your cheeks in his palms, and whispered, “There are no limits when it comes to you. I'll do anything to keep you safe. ”

[noteguk]

for science | jhs | m

— summary; in which Hoseok hears through the grapevine that you give one of the best blowjobs ever, and he needs to test it to be sure. 

— contents and warnings; blowjob (duh), dirty talk, praising and stupid pet names, cum eating, deepthroating (the oc has no gag reflex), Hoseok finds heaven, kind of crack? Idk don’t take this seriously, college!au, hoseok x reader (with a mention of past Jimin x reader), studying sessions being interrupted in the name of science 

— words; 5,1k

Requested by anon! 

Hoseok could be kind of clueless when it came to some science-related things (and his high school biology teacher could attest to that), but one thing he knew very well was the scientific method. All that hypothesis-testing-stuff, or whatever the hell that was (okay, maybe he didn’t know it that well) had taken him out of some trouble in the past. It helped him see some of his decisions in a more experimental light, avoiding the terrible Olympic-somersault-into-conclusions that had gotten so many of his friends into awkward situations. And it shouldn’t even be said that he took quite a bit of pride in that — it made him feel very intelligent and he would take any stroke to the ego that he could get. 

So, when Jimin got a bit too tipsy and started babbling on about how you gave him the best blowjob of his life, Hoseok was, at the very least, cautiously skeptical. 

“You’re such a drama queen.” Hoseok rolled his eyes before chugging down a bit more of his beer. He was nowhere near as intoxicated as Jimin was, and he wasn’t planning on changing that. It was a Wednesday night, for fuck’s sake. He had to leave some thrill to the end of the week. “It probably was like… alright. Good, even. But the best one ever? Please.” 

“It was so much more than alright, dude.” Jimin threw his head over the couch’s back, looking like he just got washed up on the shore. His hair was a mess of clear strands, exploding on his head like a failed science fair experiment. “It was the best suck of my liiiiife. I wish she didn’t hate me so I could have that again.” 

He scoffed. Hoseok had enough filter left in him to avoid telling Jimin that the reason why you hated him was entirely his fault — what did he expect from three weeks of ghosting? Besides, if the head was that good, he would surely stick around for just a bit longer than two months. “Sure. Like the time that you almost died riding a roller coaster.” 

“Hey. I almost did.” Jimin’s eyes opened, presenting his friend with a dazed-out, unfocused brand of frustration. He was getting tired of not being taken seriously — didn’t Hosoek know that alcohol makes you more honest? He wasn’t making things up. Not when they were as serious as the well-being of his dick, or actual death. “It was some Final Destination bullshit, I’m telling you. Pieces of metal flying and everything.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waved it off, leaning closer to Jimin so he could take the almost-empty can of beer from his clumsy hands, and placed it on the center table. “I think you’ve had enough alcohol for tonight, man. You have a class at ten tomorrow.” 

“I’m serious, dude,” Jimin pressed on. It was past eleven and Hoseok only wanted to sleep, but the other boy was clearly clueless about the lack of mutual interest in that conversation. “Aren’t you two friends or something?”

“Kind of. It’s weird,” Hoseok answered. You two had lingered in a hazy friendship space for a long time now, and he didn’t know exactly how to explain your relationship. He didn’t really consider you two close by any means, but you weren’t strangers or casual friends either. To be honest, he hadn’t thought too much about it until that very moment. “Why? What does that have to do with anything?” 

Jimin sighed, fumbling against the sofa. Much to Hoseok’s delight, he was starting to get sleepy as well. “You could ask her to suck you off,” he mumbled, “then you can feel it for yourself.” 

He laughed at that, unable to believe what he was hearing. “Jimin, you’re out of your mind if you think that’s not gonna backfire.” 

He blinked heavily. “Hm? Why?” 

Hoseok blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “We aren’t that close, and we haven’t done anything remotely sexual before this. It would be super creepy.”

“That’s not true,” Jimin spoke lazily, as if the words were starting to get hard to find. There was a pause so long after his sentence that Hoseok thought his roommate had fallen asleep. “I know you guys made out like at the beginning of the semester. Taehyung told me so.”

He was going to murder Taehyung. “It wasn’t like that. We were both drunk and it was super awkward afterwards.” Hoseok got up from the couch, leaving Jimin to groan and spread out his legs over the cushions. “Listen, I’m glad you two had fun, and I’m sorry you ruined it. But I’m not gonna ask ____ to suck me off just so I can know if you’re being dramatic or not.” 

Jimin smirked wickedly — or at least tried to, because his lack of facial control wasn’t doing him any favors. “Whatever you say,” he teased, “but I think you’re curious.” 

Truth was: Hoseok was beyond curious. The cogs in his head had started to move, and his brain was evoking lewd images of you so fast that he could barely follow. He would be pretending if he said that he never saw you under that light before, but, after the mess that was your makeout session, he had forced himself to jump into the friendzone before he managed to make things worse. 

Hoseok liked you very much, even if you two weren’t particularly close. He enjoyed spending time with you, he found you funny, smart, and way out of his league. But he wasn’t delusional enough to believe that you would actually say yes to sucking him off, especially so out of the blue. 

“I’m not curious,” Hoseok lied through his teeth, and he wanted to change the subject so much that his head was starting to hurt. “You’re gonna sleep here?” 

“Hm… yes… the couch is very comfortable.” Jimin closed his eyes and adjusted his body on the furniture. His baggy shirt was already halfway through his stomach and his pants had ran up to his waist, but the man didn’t seem to notice. “You don’t know what you’re missing out on.”

Hoseok rolled his eyes, moving towards the door. He needed to get Jimin some blankets, because the other was surely not getting up for the rest of the night. It was bad enough to babysit him for those few hours of intoxication, but infinitely worse to make him chicken soup if he got sick. Been there, done that. “I’m sure the couch is great.”

Jimin’s voice was soft and sleepy when he spoke up again. Hoseok was already in the corridor, and he almost didn’t hear him when he said, “I’m not talking about the couch.” 

Hoseok went to Jimin’s bedroom and grabbed his pillow and the blanket from his undone bed. Meanwhile, scenarios ran wild inside his head, having you as the main star. He didn’t know what was taking over him, but he wasn’t so quick to ignore Jimin’s story. Hoseok was faced with a fantastic scenario of a perfect blowjob, and the idea that it was so close to him was making his pulse quicken. Again: it would be absurd to ask you to do that, regardless of the motive behind it, and he knew that it would be awful for your already-strange friendship. 

No, he could never do that. He would not. 

But like… what if it worked, and you magically accepted his request? And what if, by some wonderful moment, some millennial alignment of planets, Jimin wasn’t actually being hyperbolic and you actually had the ability to give incredible blowjobs? Could he really let it pass without giving it a shot? 

He could see it as a scientific experiment, Hoseok thought, as a way to prove a hypothesis. It couldn’t hurt if he just— 

Oh my god, dude, shut the fuck up and forget about this. 

Coming back to his senses, Hoseok strutted out of his roommate's bedroom and walked toward the living room. By the time he came back with the blanket and the pillow, Jimin was already deep asleep.

~ 

Against his best efforts, that conversation remained stuck to the back of his mind for the next two weeks. Hoseok would find himself going back and forth on the idea of you having some strange, Marvel-worthy superpower when it came to sucking dick and, worst of all, the idea that his skepticism was making him miss out on it. Jimin was exaggerated when it came to, well, pretty much everything, but that didn’t mean that he would be wrong about that specific subject. That would be a logical fallacy, and that was also something that Hoseok knew very well. Bless his late nights on Reddit for that. 

Yet as the days moved along, and his curiosity was slowly turning into desire, he was forced to revisit the infamous night between the two of you, the one that Jimin had so mercilessly mentioned. Thinking back on it, it wasn’t surprising that your overconsumption of alcohol, added to the way that you two had grown close (both physically and mentally) had ended up with Hoseok laying on top of you, kissing the soul out of you and fondling your breasts in the middle of a party. It wasn’t the most dignified moment of either of your lives, but, well, it happened. 

One way or another, the night didn’t move forward. Even if Hoseok already had a tent in his pants, you two were far too intoxicated to consent, and were quick to fall asleep before the situation could escalate. Bottom line: Hoseok woke up with your tit in his hand, a nightmarish hangover, and the decision that the You-Subject would have to stay on hold for some time. 

And on hold it stayed. For an entire semester. And it would’ve remained that way if Jimin’s stupid mouth hadn’t started talking. 

So after two weeks of self-inflicted psychological torture, Hoseok slipped a hangout invitation amidst your texts. If you saw any second intentions behind his “haven’t seen you in awhile, wanna hangout? ;)” you didn’t let it show. The problem was that you weren’t really in the mood to go out, especially since you had a big exam coming up, so Hoseok ended up convincing you that he would stay quiet if you let him go over to your place. 

It was a bit harder not to notice the desperation in his proposal that time, but you ended up agreeing. Your thought process was that the boy would eventually realize that his hangout attempt was ridiculous and that he would leave you to study by yourself, and the two of you would reschedule that odd friendship session to when you weren’t drowning in textbooks. 

The problem was that you had been stupid enough to believe that your friend would actually keep his mouth shut. 

Hoseok was seated on the edge of your bed for so long that he was sure that his asscheeks were permanently imprinted on your sheets. Because he hated himself, he kept eyeing the digital clock to your right, and he was certain that he had spent the last fifty two minutes and thirty three seconds staring at the back of your head and trying to come up with a casual way to ask for a blowjob. 

He had tried a few times already, and each one constituted of him being unable to finish his sentence, instead looking at you like BooBoo The Fool until you turned back around to face your disorganized desk, sighing and trying to concentrate on your work. 

All things considered, he couldn’t actually believe he had escalated Jimin’s sailor tale to that point. He was out of his mind, that was a fact, and he had absolutely no clue how you would react once he (if he) found the words to ask you to sacrifice your mouth for science. 

God, he was an idiot. 

He cleared his throat and got ready to try one more time. “So… I…” 

You sighed heavily and turned around on the chair. “Hobi, this is the fifth time you’re starting a sentence and not finishing it,” you said, annoyed. “Can you tell me what the problem is? I have a test in two days and you promised you wouldn’t interrupt me if you came over.” 

“I’m sorry,” he didn’t like feeling like a kid being scolded, even if he kind of deserved that. Hoseok guessed it would be better to just take off the band-aid before he made an even bigger fool out of himself. “Let me just, like, explain the context of this. Otherwise it’s going to be even more strange.” 

Dropping your pen, you fully swirled the chair around, crossing your hands over your legs. He wasn’t expecting your complete attention anytime soon, and the seriousness in your stare made his courage falter for a second. It was such a stupid idea, you’d just end up hating him like you did Jimin. “As long as you make it quick,” you told him.  

Hoseok hesitated, running one hand through his hair. “Yeah, okay, so… like, a few weeks ago I was talking to Jimin,” he started, watching your face for any signal of an expression — confusion, disgust, anything. But he found nothing. “We were drunk, and he started talking about the time that you two were together. Like, sexually.” 

You blinked, unfazed. “And?”

“And… he told me that you give, like, the best blowjobs in history,” the words left his mouth before he could fully digest them. This time, he got a reaction out of you — a light raise of your eyebrows. “And, no offense, but I didn’t believe him. You know how extra he is about some stuff. Most stuff.” 

There was a moment of silence as you waited for him to go on, but Hoseok was too busy swallowing his thoughts down and feeling like he would collapse at any given moment. You sighed. “So what? You wanted to tell me that you don’t believe in my blowjob abilities? That’s all? Can I go back to studying now?” 

“No, that’s…” Now, things were starting to get complicated. Just take off the band-aid, Hoseok, don’t chicken out now. “I wanted to know if you could show me. Like, if you could suck me off. So I could... confirm that hypothesis.”

Every part of his brain was suddently hyperaware of how fucking stupid he just sounded. He had expected that another thick silence would follow, but his heart almost leaped out of your chest when you started laughing at him — like, full-chest, eyes closing, head rolling back laughing. “Are you serious?” You asked, taking one hand to cover your mouth before, at last, bursting out again. He felt like his ego was being stabbed with a rusty nail. “I can’t believe you, Hoseok. Took you all this time just to ask me if I could suck you off? For science?”

His mouth felt like it was full of cotton and he had to clear his throat before he found the force to answer you. “Yeah, I mean, only if you’re comfortable with it, of course,” he struggled to say, each word morphing into the next. His stomach had frozen up and the flight or fight response was starting to kick in. Had he really been that much of an idiot? When did his cock start dictating his words? “I… I know this is like, super creepy. I’m sorry. We can forget this ever happened and I’ll never talk to you again. I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

Suddenly sad, he waited as you settled back on the chair, wiping a small tear from the corner of your eye before you stared at him. There was still a smirk crawling up your lips, and he felt like the world was collapsing all around him  as the silence expanded around the two of you. He looked at the digital clock: it had taken him precisely three minutes to ruin everything. 

He sighed, shoulders falling. “Do you hate me? Why are you so quiet?” 

You bit down on your lip, your eyes narrowing as you took his form in. Hoseok was hot: point blank. He was also nice, and respectful enough to realize that he might have overstepped a few lines with his request — and, even if you couldn’t really understand it, you also weren’t bothered by it. And you certainly didn’t hate him. In a way, you were almost flattered. You would’ve been more if the comment had come from anyone else but your Danny Phantom ex. But that was a different story. 

The entire situation was just too funny to let it go. And, besides, you really wouldn’t mind sucking Hoseok off. It wasn’t as if you had never thought about that before. 

“I’m... considering it,” you told him, watching as his face lit up in a mixture of confusion and joy. He looked like a kid seeing Santa for the first time. “If you promise to shut up and let me study, I’ll do it. And if you agree to never talk about it again.” 

Hoseok blinked profusely, his mind short circuiting. “For real?” 

“Yeah.” You raised from your chair, walking closer to your bed. Hoseok swallowed hard and leaned back, placing his hands on the mattress for support. “But do me a favor: if it’s not that good, don’t tell me. It’ll hurt me.” 

“Yeah, alright.” He swallowed dry, every neuron in his brain trying to grasp what the fuck had just happened. His mind was the Spongebob office being set on fire, and he suddenly didn’t know how to deal with the anticipation booming in his chest. “I’m... not hard yet, though.” 

“It’s okay.” You kneeled in front of him, placing your hands on his inner thighs and slightly pushing them apart. Hoseok quickly got the cue, and opened a bit more so you could comfortably place yourself between them. “Just... relax,” your voice was almost a whisper then, and he felt his soul trying to leave him. That was insane. “Let me take care of you.”  

Your words managed to make him relax a bit, then he tensed all the way back at the feeling of your hands fumbling with his button. His breath hitched as you pulled the zipper down, fingers hooking on the edge of his pants before tugging them down his thighs. 

He felt exposed as his pants fell like a puddle around his ankles, his tongue coming out to wet his lips as you leaned in. Hosoek felt like he was dreaming when you started nibbling at his skin, kissing and licking his inner thighs as you slowly made your way closer to his aching member. 

“I can’t believe this is happening,” he barely got out before sighing, the tingles of your caresses on his skin shooting directly towards his cock, already semi-hard. 

You flicked your eyes up at him, humming against his thigh muscles. You were now so dangerously close to his underwear that he thought he would lose consciousness. “Were you daydreaming about it or something?” You teased. 

Maybe in a different position, he would’ve lied about it. But the truth came out before he could hold it back. “Ever since Jimin told me that, yeah,” he said. 

“Hmm… hope I live up to the expectation, then,” you purred, looking up at him with those doll-like eyes. Hoseok suddenly felt like he was losing his balance, his entire body burning in desire and expectancy. You looked like another one of his horny daydreams, but you were kneeling right there, in arms reach, and he didn’t know how he would deal with what was about to ensue. 

Your mouth was hovering above his clothed cock before he could notice and, delicately, you leaned down to place a kiss on it. The touch was tender, almost numb with the fabric standing between you two, and yet Hoseok shivered, biting down on his lip as one of your hands enveloped his erection. He watched, mesmerized, as you started lazily stroking him through his underwear, leaning your head to the side so you could place heavy kisses on him, at times giving his tip a few kitten licks until it was covered by a thin layer of your saliva. 

The sensation left him on edge, silently begging for more. By the time you moved back so you could undress him, Hoseok was a mess of shallow breaths and heavy swallows; his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as pleasure started to build up at the corners of his perception. Biting back a moan of relief, Hoseok raised his hips as you slowly pulled his underwear downward, allowing for his cock to spring free from its confinement. You had done a good job teasing him, because it was already fully hard when it bounced against his abdomen, red-tipped and leaking. 

His gaze oscillated between your face and his cock, watching for any reaction as you took one hand to his length, squeezing him firmly. “Fuck,” he let out a grunt, his overwhelmed body responding to the smallest of touches. 

You smirked at his reaction, taking a quick glimpse at his devastated features before moving back to what you were doing. Hoseok was so cute, you thought, liking the way he was so responsive. 

A shudder ran up Hoseok’s body when your tongue came out between your lips, placing delicate licks on his base. He loved the feeling of your warm muscle against his hardened member, his mind growing eager as you began tracing a path upwards, flattening your tongue against him. His breathing was ragged by the time that you reached his crown, a hum escaping your throat as you lazily swirled your tongue around his tip, covering him with your saliva. 

You took your time caressing his slit with your mouth, waiting until he was cursing and panting before you finally wrapped your lips around him. At first, you only took his tip in your mouth, sucking so slowly that Hoseok whined and buckled his hips from the bed, trying to make you move faster. 

Wordlessly, you simply placed your palm against his thigh and pressed him back down. Even if that was the last thing he wanted to do, Hoseok accepted your order and settled back against the mattress, grunting as you continued to tease him. 

“Please, put it all in,” he begged, starting to lose his trail of thought. “This is torture.” 

And maybe another day you would have taken a bit more time torturing him, but, that afternoon, you were kind of in a rush to finish studying. So you complied. 

“Oh, fuck, fuck.” His eyes shut and his head was thrown back as you fully sank down on his cock, your tongue flat against him. Before he could stop himself, his hand flew to your hair, yanking at the strands as you moved back up, your hand pumping the parts of him that you couldn’t reach. 

“God, your mouth feels so great…” He moaned, back arching as you reached his tip once again, licking it before sinking back down — you took him just a bit deeper that time, and the motion didn’t pass by unnoticed. He was really starting to believe Jimin, and he wondered if maybe he should’ve been more worried about the entire rollercoaster situation. “Ah, that’s it. Just like that.” 

You moaned around him, the vibrations making him cry out, desperate. Hoseok couldn’t hold himself back from moving closer to the edge of the bed, his other hand clenching your bedsheets between his fingers as you continued to swallow his cock like it belonged in the hot confinement of your mouth. 

“Oh— oh my god, baby,” he grunted, pulling at the strands of your hair. His mind was starting to get hazy, his chest fluttering in a mess of sighs and heavy breaths every time that you sank down on his member; every time you flicked your tongue against his sentitive slit or pumped his base. “That’s really good, you take my cock so well.”

You looked up just to see the mess that Hoseok had turned into. With his mouth parted and eyes glazed over, he looked like he was about to fall apart at any second. He was watching you in complete awe, his eyebrows falling to form a beautiful frown of concentration; tongue coming out to lick his lips. He was so fucked out that you felt yourself getting riled up by his image, a pool of wetness accumulating between your thighs. 

“You look so pretty like this.” He exhaled, unaware of his own words. Hoseok was too busy following your swollen, redden lips as they wrapped around his member, your cheeks hollowing after you sucked him with all that you had. Even the small amount of droll around your mouth was enough to make him throb in your hold, a grunt escaping him. “With these — fuck — those pretty lips around my cock, shit. I could watch you forever.” 

You hummed around his member again at his words, the vibrations shooting directly at his core, where a rising heat had dangerously grown stronger, signaling his upcoming orgasm. Hoseok loved the way you actually looked like you were enjoying yourself, moaning and whimpering around his cock as you took all of him in your mouth, eyes closing every time he throbbed inside you. The eagerness in which you took him in, like you were starving for his cock, was one of the filthiest images that Hoseok had ever seen, and it was one that he knew would haunt his dreams for the years to come. 

When you removed his cock from your mouth with a dirty wet sound, Hoseok was about to complain before he saw you licking down his length, one of your hands holding his cock away from your face as your tongue started to play with his balls. It was an odd feeling, but not an unwelcomed one, and it kept him on edge for a little while longer while you played with him. 

With a timid whimper, you looked up at him as you licked your way back up to his tip. The image was so hot that he almost fainted, a deep moan escaping his throat when you took him back inside your delicious mouth. 

And the truth was clearer than Hoseok had ever expected: Jimin was right. 

“Fuck, babe, how did you get this good?” Hoseok grunted, trying his best to focus on the picture-perfect image of your lips wrapped tightly around his throbbing cock. He could tell that his release was starting to build up at an alarming rate, his thighs growing weaker every time you took him inside you. “Oh my- Ngh! Fuck! Oh my god!” 

Hoseok’s mind was wiped clean when he felt his tip hitting the back of your throat, his hips buckling up as your throat clenched around him. He was pretty sure he was in heaven then — if he focused, he could hear angels singing all around him — , his pleasure overtaking every cell of his body as you continued sucking the soul out of him. 

“Holy fuck, do that again,” he begged, his voice much higher than before. You didn’t need to be asked twice, because, within a second, he was crying out at the feeling of your throat wrapping around his cock one more time; his hands holding tightly to the roots of your hair. The only reason why Hoseok hadn’t started fucking your mouth yet was because he wanted to have you in control, giving him the best head of his life without any interruption. “Fuck, fuck— Baby, you’re so fucking good at this, fuck.”

There was a vague raising of his hips to meet your movements, making him hit the back of your throat again and again, the lewd sounds you were making filling the room. Nothing in his life had ever compared to that instant, he had ever felt a pleasure as great as he did at that point, and he knew it was about to snap. 

“God, I’m gonna cum,” he sobbed, finally closing his eyes and letting the pleasure take over. “Fuck, you’re so good, I’m gonna—“ 

Hoseok filled your mouth with his cum, dripping down your throat when you swallowed around him. His head was spinning and his muscles were trembling, and that time he was unable to hold himself back from thrusting up against your mouth, trying to prolong that divine sensation for as long as he could before, at last, collapsing against the mattress with a final, shaky moan. 

He barely heard you when you got up to your feet, his mind floating above his body as he tried to get himself back together. With the little force that he still had inside him, Hoseok leaned on his elbows and stared at you like you were made of gold. “Fuck, ____.” He breathed out, and the only thing he could say was, “What the fuck?” 

You giggled at his reaction, thumb cleaning a bit of cum that had painted the corner of your mouth. “I appreciate your feedback,” you teased, pointing over your shoulder, to where your desk stood, forgotten. “Now that you have your answer, can I study in peace?” 

“Y-Yeah, sure,” he struggled to say. “I’ll... stay quiet.” 

You smiled brightly. “Thanks!” 

He thought about thanking you right back for giving him the best orgasm of his life, but he thought that would make everything much more pathetic. So he didn’t. 

Hoseok eventually found the motivation within him to put his cock back inside his underwear, clumsily pulling his pants back up. He found himself in the same position he was before everything went down: dumbfounded, staring at the back of your head as you worked on your textbook. The red numbers on the clock told him that just ten minutes had passed, and yet his life had completely changed. 

All that he wanted was to return the favor — it was the fair exchange, after all. Hoseok sat up at the edge of the bed and spoke up, filled by a newfound courage. “Wait. Don’t you want me to take ca—”

“Shut the fuck up, Hoseok.” 

His mouth fell shut and his courage deflated just as quickly. Maybe another time.

[way-too-cool-raybot]

I still got a lot of thoughts about The Devils Playhouse much like everyone else but spoilers for the ending

So I just replayed season 2 and so quite obviously there's a hell and a lot of jokes about Sam and Max dying soon, even Satan is like "you two will be seeing a lot more of me soon". Soo...did max #1 actually go to hell after his death in 305? Or was this changed do to the fact that he ultimately sacrificed himself? Because hell is clearly easily accessible to them even when alive, I would think that would be the first place you'd check for your friend you know was going to hell when they died. I mean Satan kinda owed them one both for the amount of souls they send there and for the poppers incident.

So, clearly though Sam couldn't find where his soul went, or he didn't think to look ? The former implies his soul either didn't pass on (#hauntingseason), went to heaven (as much as I like him, UNLIKELY), or possibly his soul was lost in space. Which is a sentence I never thought I'd say but here we are.

Clearly some ghosts can be seen, right? Dr Bosco was the most prominent, but lest we forget the duo also have souls seen in Night of the Raving Dead (who are total snobs). Sooo where the fuck did it go? Well it's possible that we just can't see it. Dr Bosco was attempting to clone Max a new body by the end, and I assume she thought that's where his soul would relocate. That or somehow she was planning on crafting an entire new soul. But I doubt that, I figure maybe they would use the same process she used to get her body back. But it failed because his DNA is "too weird". So it's possible that Max #1 is haunting is friend for the rest of his life, how sweet I think?

Alternatively, he could have just gone to heaven, a place we have Not Seen in universe and therefore would not be immediately accessible. The only reason I'm thinking this isn't the case is simply because, uh well he was already going to hell for so many things, momentary selflessness doesn't carry that much weight. But let us consider it for a moment; Max does actually give a shit about people despite his jokes and quips about lack of morals and conscious. He just seems like he prefers not to show it (eww mushy feelings. I'd rather you stab me). And while having affection towards certain people (note I'm literally just referring to Sam, Geek, and Sybil. Perhaps a few others) doesn't absolve you of arson, murder, assault, robbery, etc. It does add something to the fact that he wasn't just fucking evil. And, taking into account that he sacrifices himself for Sybil and probably most of New York considering he probably would have killed just so many people when he died, I think It could perhaps balance it out. So his soul might be enjoying an eternity in heaven with an angel version of Sam, until Sam #1 dies and replaces them. How cute.

Or his soul could be lost in and/or shattered across space or a different plane of existence á la 304. Which um. Is just sad to think about. I don't know about you but having absolutely no afterlife would probably be worse than one in hell. Or maybe he's conscious in space drifting aimlessly and sadly. Wow this short stupid essay kinda got sad fast.

Anyway, I guess the conclusion could always be "he's in hell Sam just never thought to visit" but uh, that's stupid and i hate that. I'll probably be drawing some ghost max soon. Perhaps he is hanging out with Sam #2 watching over and waiting for their specific partner.

[plume-pigmented-pili]

Hey hey! here’s a little something I wrote for Eli a few months ago. They convinced me i should post it, so here i am lol

———

Tw: Descriptions of a Cold, sickness (non graphic), feelings unwanted, coughing, headaches, misunderstandings, hurt/comfort. Let me know if I need to add more!

Words: 5.2k

Pairing: Prinxiety (Written as Romantic but could be read as platonic i guess)

“Virgil is miserable. Its the middle of the night, and Virgil is stuck in bed, unable to sleep, with a horrible cold. The actual cold isn’t why he’s miserable, though.

Is it selfish to want to be cared for?”

—

Through Sickness and Health

Virgil could hear the clock on the opposite wall ticking just a tad too fast, and didn’t need to even look over at it to know it was way too late to be awake. Sure, he didn’t have the best sleep schedule, but at least he was usually enjoying himself when he stayed up, and it was rarely this late. It wasn’t even his fault this time.

But here Virgil was, laying in bed curled under all the blankets he owned, wishing he was dead. On paper, that sounds a lot worse than it really was, but who could blame him? The sweet release of death sounded like heaven compared to suffering here any longer. His throat was sandpaper dry, nose clogged with snot, and what felt like a small bomb went off in his skull with every movement.

That, though, wasn’t the main reason he was suffering.

He’d been sick before, he knew it would be over soon, but no physical pain could compare to the hurt he felt, knowing that the others knew of his illness, and didn’t give a single damn.

There was no way they didn’t know what was happening - even if he’d tried to hide it, which he hadn’t, it’s not like acting was ever his specialty - but not a single one of them had batted an eye since he came down with this stress induced cold.

Well, that wasn’t completely true. Patton had asked if he was feeling alright on day two, when Virgil had shuffled downstairs around three in the afternoon to grab a snack, hoodie flipped up as he dug around, his hands clearly shaky from fever yet he’d been too tired to try and hide it. He’d told Patton, in the least shaky voice he could muster, that he just wasn’t feeling very well.

In hindsight, it had probably been incredibly selfish of him to expect Patton to come to his aid and comfort him, maybe offer to tuck him in on the couch and make him something healthy to eat. He’d seen Patton do just that plus more when Logan or Roman were feeling under the weather after all. But despite knowing it was selfish, he couldn’t help the disappointment and sinking feeling he’d felt when Patton had simply responded with a gentle, almost pitying, “I’m sorry kiddo, thank you for telling me.” before walking away rather hurriedly, leaving it there.

The conversation rolled around in his head, as it had been for the past 5 days. Nobody had come to check on him, not even the resident fatherly side to see if he was feeling any better. He’d been downstairs one other time since that little exchange with Patton, but when he’d walked in on Roman and Logan talking casually in the living room, they’d both given him short, obviously forced smiles, and sunk out. That’d been on day three, and Virgil hadn’t gone back down there since. He wasn’t that hungry anyway.

Maybe they didn’t want to get sick? Or maybe they thought he was gross, and didn’t want to be near him. Did they think he would be rude to them?

All this thinking was making Virgil’s head hurt more. And it really didn’t matter the reason. They didn’t care, they clearly wanted to avoid him.

It hurt, worse than his actual sickness, having to stay away from everyone for days on end. It reminded him of the old days before he was accepted, when he wasn’t welcome anywhere else but the confinement of his room. He missed Patton’s warm greeting each time he walked into a room, or the rants Logan would get lost in that were strangely so calming. Most notably, though, he missed Roman.

He missed their stupid banter that always left him feeling more confident, and the never ending singing that Virgil pretended not to adore. Hell, he missed just talking to the creative side. He’d give anything just to have a conversation with him, just to lift his spirits a little. He longed for one of the warm, solid hugs that only Roman could give.

He would probably even give up his Disney posters, his entire MCR song library, or get banned from every Hot Topic in the country, just to be held and cuddled right at this moment. To be held in warm, secure arms, wrapped in the scent of cinnamon and roses, and drift to sleep knowing he wouldn’t be alone in the morning.

That last one had about a zero percent chance of happening, even if he wasn’t sick and contagious, but Virgil’s sleep deprived, fever ridden brain had decided to be sentimental, and Virgil couldn’t even stop it. At least he wasn’t gone enough to consider asking for any of that comfort he craved. it’d be easier for everyone to just wait in his room until he was better. Then maybe things would be normal again.

And that was his plan, until someone knocked on his door.

The anxious side’s gaze shot over to the clock, grimacing when the quick movement made his eyeballs throb. Who the Hell was knocking on his door at nearly 3:45 in the morning?

“Who-“ Virgil cringed at how his gravely voice broke, cleared his throat, then tried again. “Who is it?”

“I knew you were awake!” Romans voice, surprisingly enough, came from the other side of the door. He was clearly trying to stay quiet, but for some reason, he sounded really… relieved, and chipper. A second later, the Prince added a bit more bashfully, “Uh, unless i just woke you up by knocking, and if that’s the case I sincerely apologize, I didn’t mea-“

“No, I w’s already awake…” Virgil interrupted with a slight slur, groggy brain trying to keep up with what was happening. Being the embodiment of Anxiety, though, meant he didn’t get to stop being anxious just because he was sick. Why was he here? Was he angry? Virgil couldn’t recall doing anything that could offend anyone since he’d been self-quarantined, but then again, he couldn’t really remember his last name at the moment either. He mumbled to himself as he untangled his legs from the covers, cursing the universe under his breath because his head felt two times it’s normal size. Then he took a deep breath and sat up. He didn’t want to make Roman uncomfortable or grossed out seeing him all sick in bed, cause holy shit would that be embarrassing. He still didn’t look great, but it was a small step. “Come in Pr’ncey.”

The door swung open, revealing a timid, bed headed Roman, who seemed to relax a little when noticing Virgil sitting up in bed. “Hey there.. sorry to barge in, I hope i’m not bothering you.” he said, voice still lowered and really quite gentle as he shut the door behind him.

Virgil went to shake his head, but stopped himself before he could cause himself fucking brain damage and just shrugged instead. “ y’re not both’ring me. ‘sup?” yikes, all this sitting up and trying to look presentable business was making him realize how exhausted he was. His eyelids felt heavy already.

Roman took a few steps forward, keeping his eyes steadily on Virgil like he was waiting for him to keel over and die, or cough on him. It seemed pretty damn dramatic, even for Roman. “I… just wanted to check on you. I’ve uh, been a little worried about you, and i couldn’t sleep.” The Prince said, hesitant as he lowered himself on the foot of the bed.

Virgil blinked a few times, curling his legs up so his knees were to his chest to make sure Roman wouldn’t touch his feet under the 5 layers of blankets he had over him. Or maybe it was the sudden, treacherous hope that was rising in him, a hope he was trying to stifle. Roman was… worried about him? Roman of all sides? I mean, he wasn’t surprised that he cared, he and Roman were friends now after all. Virgil was just surprised he cared about this. He thought they were all in agreement to avoid him or something.

Virgil was about to open his mouth and say… something - he didn’t really know what he was going to say. It felt like his train of thought was chugging along through molasses - but he was interrupted before he could get any words out.

“Dude… no offense, but you look like actual death. And why in the name of Hades are you buried under so many blankets?” The Prince asked with what sounded like genuine confusion, at least for the second part.

Virgil huffed and pulled the blankets tighter around him, the movement causing him to shiver. He couldn’t decide what to focus on; The cold air on his back, the rising sensation of relief knowing Roman cared, or how weird that question had been. Quite honestly, Virgil wasn’t offended because he knew he looked like shit. he was just a little confused. He thought Roman would have known he’d look like shit. “What do you mean why do I have so many blankets. I literally feel like ’m freezing to death. ’s part of the package, shouldn’t you know this?” He practically deadpanned, not even for the snarkiness like usual. His speech was just dull.

But that only left Roman looking more confused, and probably a good deal more concerned if his expression was anything to go by. “I-... I didn’t know that, no.. I’m sorry. Do you want another blanket or something…?” he asked carefully, still awfully and almost painfully cautious.

And Virgil… was at a loss for how this could possibly be new information to Roman. it was pretty common knowledge even if you’ve never had a fever before. But instead of dwelling, Virgil once again stopped himself from shaking his head, sighing instead. “No, it won’ help.” he said shortly. The effort would be futile, but it was endearing that Roman at least asked. “Thanks though. That’s.. really nice of you t’ offer.” The anxious side offered a bit more quietly.

There was an awkward silence that followed, Roman shuffling his feet against the carpet slightly as he looked around the room. Virgil saw the other’s eyes catch on the pile of used tissues in the floor, another bout of confusion flashing in his bright green eyes, but he didn’t mention it this time. Maybe it was a lack of sleep making the Prince act so clueless at the moment. “I… I guess i’ve just.. i don’t know, everything is more boring without you around. Nobody to insult without actually offending them.” Roman spoke again after a moment, sending a half smile in Virgil’s direction.

A little smirk matched with a snort is what the Prince was rewarded with, Virgil's spirits lifted regardless of his misery. It felt nice knowing he was missed, and it made his chest warm knowing it was coming from Roman. For some reason, knowing he could make things more bearable for his counterpart was.. rewarding, in a way. And Roman looked proud of himself, before he continued a bit more solemnly. “You’ve been cooped up in here for so long, like what, 5 says now?”

That got Virgil to sigh, and maybe there was some defensiveness laying beneath the surface, made worse thanks to being miserable, but all he managed was a mildly annoyed side eye to Roman as he responded in a mumble, still doing his best not to run Roman off. “‘t’s not my fault.”

Roman was quick to shake his head, slight guilt in his expression. “I know! I-I’m not trying to make you feel bad, i guess i just- i don’t know, i’m just talking out loud… sorry.” Roman’s voice had quieted, eyes trained on the floor somewhat shamefully as he seemed to search for his words. “I just.. I just wish…” but once again, he trailed off, shaking his head and seeming to give up. “I’m sorry.”

“‘s fine, Princey.” Virgil mumbled back, eyes dropping to his lap where he picked at a loose string on his bedspread. Another silence followed, Virgil trying to sniffle as silently as he could. Despite how weird this interaction had been so far, and how slightly awkward it’s gotten, Virgil was honestly just trying to soak in the mere presence of another side while it lasted. He’d never liked being alone for so long. His stomach was starting to hurt for a reason aside from sickness. This sure was a good way to get Roman to leave early, the others were probably right for leaving him alone so far.

Suddenly, Virgil squeezed the blankets in his fist to try and stop a sudden tickle in his throat, the sensation coming out of nowhere. Unfortunately though, his instincts won out just seconds later as he was forced to cough, the sound gargled and gross even when he covered the whole bottom half of his face with his covers. Dammit, dammit, stupid fucking cough. And Roman just got there too. He wasn’t ready for the creative side to leave again yet.

“S- Sorry, sorry ‘bout that. Shit.” He mumbled rather quickly, hoping to by just a few minutes longer of the creative side’s company before it was taken away again for who knows how long. His head felt like it was being split open, no thanks to the effort it took to cough. Who the Hell’s idea was sickness? They should be fired.

Much to his surprise though, when Virgil hesitantly looked up to gauge how put off Roman was by his display, he only saw an overwhelming about of worry, but even more importantly, alarm.

“Apologies, but is this like- normal??” Roman asked with eyes noticeably wider, studying Virgil's pained expression, hunched over posture, the mess of dirty tissues around, and the way the bright numbers of his digital clock on his nightstand was covered carefully, with a washcloth no doubt.

Virgil drew in a deep, slow breath through his nose as he rubbed on his temples to try and alleviate some pain, eyes closed and head tilted down. Roman’s ridiculous questions were just making his headache worse, and honestly he didn’t even understand how the Hell he was so confused. Was this his plan? To come in here and confuse Virgil and his already incapacitated brain? ‘Cause if so, he was doing a brilliant job. “Roman, what the hell are you talking about.”

It came out less like a question, more like a very tired statement, but he was answered with confused stammering, Roman gesturing almost desperately to Virgil and his state. “What do you mean what am I talking about?? Dude, you’re clearly not doing well. I mean, I wasn’t gonna bring it up, but you’re sweating like a sinner in church, you’re covered in a thousand blankets, you were just hacking up a lung and you’re barely able to speak right from, what i’m assuming, is a nose full of mucus!”

“Yeah, okay, I get it. I look like shit, Pr’ncey, enough said.” Virgil snapped, glaring up at Roman and accidentally moving his head up to look at him too fast, sending a flare of agony through his skull. He cursed under his breath and winced, but powered through it even as Roman lifted a hand to- to what, help? It didn’t matter, Virgil moved away from the effort. “No, don’t touch me, alright? I don’t wan’ your pity.”

Virgil knew all of this was coming out more aggressive than he ever would allow if he was feeling himself. Hell, even now he was begging himself to just shut up and stay calm. But after almost 2 full days with no sleep, and 5 days of nonstop pain, coughing, being unable to breath properly, the feeling of fire in his throat every time he tried to eat, and then on top of that, being shunned by the 3 people he wanted- needed, more than anything. Well, he really couldn’t stop his composure from cracking and shattering.

Roman looked ready to respond, seemingly struck with more pity than before, but Virgil’s hand shot up to stop him. “I don’t want to hear it, Princey. Why the Hell are you even here anyway? If you’ve missed me so much, why did you wait 5 f’cking days to come see me? T’ come ‘check on me’? And, by th’ way, so far you’ve really only been fucking with me and making me feel worse, so in reality it probably would ‘ve been better had you just kept up your streak of avoiding me like ev’ryone else!”

Virgil was breathing heavily, head pounding and lungs burning after raising his voice just a bit too much at the end of his rant. He replayed the words back in his mind, heart sinking when he realized how aggressive he’d gotten. He couldn’t slow down his breathing, why couldn’t he slow his breathing?? Jesus christ, he wasn’t about to break down on top of all that other shit he just unleashed. Perfect, he was just proving the other side’s point for them.

With his body now starting to shake, jaw clenched to hold back tears because this week has been bullshit, and he felt like curling up and disappearing, if not to escape his aching body then to at least escape the anger he knew would result from that whole verbal meltdown he just had. Obviously Roman would be leaving, but would he yell first? Tell him how annoying and selfish he was, and how he didn’t get to be a huge asshole just because he was feeling a little under the weather? Or would he leave in silence, just exit the room with that silent, cold anger that Roman only showed when he was really upset.

Maybe he’d tell everyone else what happened, how he’d tried to extend an olive branch, test it out just to see if maybe his illness hadn’t made him into a pathetic prick, but Virgil lashed out as expected and ran him off. Would Logan and Patton get mad at him too? Come in and tell him off for being so horrible to his own family, that he couldn’t even be a decent person for 5 minutes.

Maybe things wouldn’t go back to normal even after he’s recovered, all because he couldn’t just control himself.

“Virgil, what are you talking about?” Roman asked exasperated, and Virgil dragged his hands down his face. He meant to make more of a growl in frustration, but it came out closer to a pained whine. His eyes stung for a new reason now. He just wanted this to stop. Why wouldn’t Roman just stop?

“What. What am I talking about what. I can’t do this- this whole vague shit righ’now, jus’ spit it out.” He hated how short tempered he was sounding, but Roman didn’t seem to be fazed. Virgil could see the Prince waving his hands around in his peripheral, looking tongue tied.

“The- The part where you think i’m fucking with you?? Why you think we’re avoiding you?? Why you’re so-... so….” Roman trailed off, a look of realization crossing his face, which quickly turned to horror and guilt. “Wait a… w-wait a second, Virgil, are you- are you sick??”

To say Roman sounded appalled would be an understatement, his eyes wide in shock, brows drawn, mouth slightly agape. Virgil’s head spun, suddenly dizzy as his brain tried to figure out why Roman sounded so horrified- why he sounded so surprised. He couldn’t stand it, he couldn’t understand what was going on. He felt nauseous and he just wanted to sleep. Before he knew it, tears were trekking down his face, thick tears springing from his eyes making the pressure behind them even more unbearable. A sob tore painfully from his throat, instantly catching the Prince’s full attention.

“Oh my… Virgil-“

Virgil shrunk away from the Prince’s voice, curling up once more into a ball, trying to hide from everything. His lip wobbled, he could feel it, but he was too tired to be embarrassed or feel pathetic. He pulled the covers closer around him. “R-Roman, please jus’-“ He hiccuped on a sob, hissed through his teeth as the action sent a sharp pain through his lungs. “I don’ know i-if you’re tryin’ to joke ‘r somethin’, but— but ’s n- not funny, o-okay?”

Instead of speaking clearly at a normal volume, Virgil was nearly mumbling the entire time he was speaking, slurring through words even worse than when the conversation started. Was it just him, or was the room spinning? “Please, i… i need you t’...” Virgil huffed for breath, exhaustion wearing on him like a switch was just suddenly flipped. It nearly took all his energy to try and get a deep breath.

“Ro…”

Virgil was met with a warm, broad chest, and strong arms wrapping around him before he even knew he was slumping forward. His ears were ringing, drowning out what sounded like a familiar voice speaking to him. They sounded distressed, he hoped they were okay. What was combing through his hair? He couldn’t quite remember what was going on before then, but all he knew was, he was safe now.

Then, the world went dark.

———

Virgil came into consciousness a little while later, his brain the kind of blissfully empty that only comes after passing out, apparently. He couldn’t grasp where he was before, existing in a reality where there is no past for a few moments. His head was vaguely aching, like a dull throb faded into the background, and his lungs stung only a little when he breathed in deeply. In his sleepy state though, Virgil didn’t concern himself with those feelings.

Virgil couldn’t see anything, he noticed not long after, but he could hear murmuring and the distant sound of water running.

Next, he realized he knew he wasn’t in his own room anymore, both because this wasn’t his mattress, and the room didn’t smell like his own.

He could smell.. cinnamon… and peaches… and ink. Somewhere in his groggy brain, Virgil recognized the smell, but at the moment it was just out of his reach. It didn’t bother him, though, not when he was so relaxed and calm. He felt like he was one with the bed, and the soft, fluffy sheets encasing him.

A few more seconds of coming to, and Virgil realized his eyes were covered with something damp, and cool… soft too. It felt amazing against his warm skin. oh right, i’m sick, a thought entered his mind gently.

Then, a lot less gently, the events from before he passed out rushed to the forefront of his mind, practically smacking him in the face. Because yes, he’d passed out, right in front of Roman like an idiot, oh shit, why isn’t he in his room, where is he-

“Virgil? Hey woah, calm down buddy- here,” Virgil heard someone quickly cross the room, and tended his body for all of two seconds before the washcloth over his eyes was being lifted.

Virgil blinked blearily, squinting his eyes even though the room was almost completely shrouded in darkness, save for a thin line of light coming from the cracked bathroom door. Someone was sat beside him on the side of the bed, but he was too blurry for Virgil to make out details.

“There you are. Hey Hot Topic, how are you feeling?” the person asked, speaking more gently than anyone had spoken to Virgil in a long time. Strangely though, Virgil wasn’t upset by it. It was.. nice…

Wait a minute, he knew that voice.

“R- Roman..? I.. Where…?” Distantly, Virgil knew he sounded like shit, which meant he probably looked like shit, and directly after asking that half assed question, he realized he had to be in the Princes room. “Oh.. fuckin’- I passed out on you..” he groaned, moving his hands up to scrub the blurriness from his eyes.

It worked, surprisingly, and now that Virgil could see, he realized that yes, Roman was the one sitting next to him, and yes he was in Roman’s room, in Roman’s bed. He also noticed how tossed Roman’s hair was, and the bright red with little snowmen pajamas the Prince wore. They were really adorable.

“Yes, I’m afraid you did.. and I’m also afraid that I am partly to blame for it.” Roman sighed, casting his eyes down as he pressed his lips in a line.

Virgil’s brows drew together, and, because he was so delirious, he reached out to grab gently at Romans sleeve. “How is it your fault that I passed out?” he asked incredulously. At least he could speak properly now. Now? Now since when? Oh geez, “Wait how long have I been out? A few hours? Days? Years?! Did I fall into a coma?!”

The corner of Roman’s lip lifted in amusement, and he gently lay a hand over Virgil’s, on his sleeve. “No, no nothing like that, Dark Knight. It’s only been an hour or so. I.. hope you don’t mind, but I had to bring you in here. Your fever was… really high.” The Prince of Creativity said, solemn by the end.

“I think i’ve managed to get it down, so it’s not so dangerous anymore, but Logan will definitely have to keep an eye on it today.”

That got Virgil's attention. “Wait- Logan? Uh.. yeah, not to burst your bubble Princey, but I doubt that’ll be happening.” There was a slight bitterness to his tone as he wrapped his free arm around his midsection, and though there wasn’t as much bitterness as there usually would be, Roman still picked up on it loud and clear.

He inclined his head, as if in agreement, and Virgil stomach only sunk a little bit before Roman was speaking again.

“That’s where you’re wrong, Virgil. You see, there seems to have been a grave misunderstanding. This is how I’m partially responsible for your passing out, same as Logan and Patton are also partly to blame.”

Virgil’s eyes widened, breath hitching at the sheer ridiculousness of that suggestion. No!! How could it be their fault? He’s the one that got so sick and couldn’t keep himself healthy enough not to fucking pass out. He opened his mouth to say as much, but Roman held up a finger before he could get out a single word, silencing him.

“A few days ago, 5 to be exact, it came to Patton’s attention that you weren’t feeling yourself. He told me and Logan that you told him you weren’t feeling very well, and that we should all give you some space the next few days.” Roman said carefully. Ah yes, that conversation. The one that’s haunted Virgil for nearly a week. Virgil remembered it well.

With a hesitant, still very lost nod from Virgil, Roman continued. “It seems that Patton, and in turn, Logan and I, assumed that your strange behavior was linked to.. well, anxiety.” He gave Virgil’s hand a light squeeze, any sign of a smile gone and replaced with pained regret. The Prince swallowed, just as Virgil pieced it together.

“Because of these more stressful times Thomas is experiencing, we wrongly thought that you were having a rough week, leading to worse anxiety. So… we’ve been leaving you on your own, thinking we were helping you..”

Virgil.. didn’t know what to say. He looked up and found Roman’s red, sorrowful eyes. When he focused, he could see they were just a little bit bloodshot, even in the dark. Proof that he had previously cried, no doubt about this. When Virgil didn’t speak, still too shocked as his slowed brain processes this, Roman continued, quietly choking back a sob just after he averted his gaze to the floor.

“V-Virgil-“ he voice cracked. Virgil’s heart was sinking in his chest. Roman had never looked so heartbroken. “Virgil I’m so sorry, I had no idea you were sick, none of us did! I-I swear I didn’t know, I would have never left you alone if I had, Virgil, Star, i’m so so s-sorry,”

Roman was practically full on crying by that point, though he clearly tried to keep it to himself and stay quiet. Virgil was grateful for the effort, but there were much more important things to focus on at the moment. He may not be completely himself, but he still couldn’t let Roman be so sad.

It was because he wasn’t completely himself that Virgil automatically sat up (taking his time to do so, trying not to upset his head), and leaned himself right against Roman, chest to chest, looping his arms around to loosely hold Princey in a hug.

It all made sense now, why he’d been ignored all week, and why nobody came to check on him or try to help. He felt a little (read: a lot) stupid for thinking that anyone in his famILY would do anything but show him the upmost care and attention when he needed it. They thought they were helping, and honestly, had he in fact been having a bad week of heightened anxiety, giving him space would have been the right thing for them to do.

Roman was quick to return Virgil’s hug, though to his credit, his hug was a lot stronger and more secure than Virgil’s. He buried his face in Virgil’s hair, a steady stream of teary apologies spilling from him. A steady stream that Virgil hastily tried to end.

“Roman, it’s okay… i’m not upset, I promise it’s okay. I know you were doing what you thought would help me. Please don’t cry, Princey.” He said softly.

It might have been a few more minutes, or a few hours, that the two sides sat together in each other’s arms. Roman’s cries and apologies slowly quieted to a stop, though the gentle combing of fingers through Virgil’s hair only continued as they sat.

“Hey… Roman?” Virgil whispered after a few more moments, the whole mindscape quiet, save for the quiet sniffles from both Virgil and Roman every once in a while.

“Yes, sweet Midnight?” came an equally gentle response. Neither side moved, Virgil too content with his face snuggly buried against his counterpart’s shoulder, and Roman too content with having Anxiety safe in his arms.

“Would… well, you can say no, but would you mind.. if I stay in here..? I don’t… really want to be alone…” a hint of Virgil’s usual anxious tendencies showed itself despite the tiredness that was starting to cover the darker side. Instead of head-swimming exhaustion though, this time Virgil felt pleasantly heavy and relaxed.

Without uttering another word, Roman pulled them both down to lay their heads on the pillows, lifting one hand to gently flick his wrist and manipulate the covers around them. The light in the bathroom turned off with a soft click of Roman’s fingers, one that Virgil hardly registered as he shuffled somehow closer to the Prince, still tucked safely in his arms.

As he fell softly and smoothly into the first restful sleep he’s had in days, Virgil noticed that he wasn’t freezing cold anymore. The dull throb in his head had gone away almost entirely, and it felt that much easier to breathe. But most importantly, Virgil felt less alone than he had in a long, long time.

Needless to say, Virgil was feeling better already.

[ineffable-endearments]

CW below for a discussion that relates to homophobia, transphobia, queerphobia, acephobia, and related subjects. no specific stories, the themes just generally appear. i hope i didn't screw up and will fix it if i did.

so i was thinking about what makes Aziraphale and Crowley resonate as a queer love story, not just a "forbidden romance" (a trope that can be painfully cishet when it wants to be, which is often).

and i mean, obviously. there are a LOT of things. a lot. but something that didn't occur to me before is their relationship to each other relative to their sides.

at first, one would assume that they aren't supposed to be talking at all. this is probably true on a surface level. like, it's probably considered uncool to be caught chatting with The Enemy.

however, we do see that it's kind of normal for angels and demons to talk with a degree of civility. they don't trust each other deeply, that much is really obvious (Beelzebub says as much to Michael), and they do probably plan to kill each other eventually. at least, i think they genuinely believe that's how it's going to play out.

but! the front entrance to Heaven is in the same building as the front entrance to Hell! Aziraphale and Crowley literally walk into the building side by side! i know it's a funny joke, but Heaven and Hell aren't framed as stupid enough, by the end of the series, for that to be pure incompetence.

Michael has been in contact with Ligur for who-knows-how-long, feeding him information and presumably being fed information in return. Gabriel is entirely capable of speaking amicably with Beelzebub once it looks like their Plan isn't going through. and, of course, the Sides easily collaborate to punish Aziraphale and Crowley.

it's obviously normal for angels and demons to have a civil relationship of some sort.

a number of references are also made to the ways that the Sides are ultimately the same. Beelzebub and Gabriel are operating out of the same rulebook, after all; they both think the War is "written," they just differ on who's bound to win. to them, the most important thing is not even to thwart the other side on Earth - it's to get to the part where they're at war. they will absolutely collaborate with each other to reach that goal. they consider themselves part of the same Plan. consider even Crowley's thoughts in the book about how demons have "an unpopular job" but are "essential" to the running of the universe. they may be culturally different, but they all know they belong to the same society.

therefore, merely talking together is probably not strictly forbidden for Aziraphale and Crowley. even being sort of friendly probably isn't strictly forbidden. again, uncool? yeah. deadly? i doubt it, to be honest. heck, to their bosses' faces, they could use it as an excuse to spy on each other whether any actual spying got done.

what's the real problem? the thing everyone's upset about? it's not just that don't kill each other on sight. the real problem is that they prioritized each other. they got too intimate. their desires for a life together challenged the status quo, and even though they weren't the ones who were finally responsible for stopping the war altogether (that was Adam), they were blamed and sadistically punished for trying to preserve their relationship and their lives here on Earth instead of "growing up" and fulfilling their predetermined roles in Heaven and Hell.

in real life, society punishes people for prioritizing friendships in a way that most people assume is to be reserved only for romantic and sexual relationships. Heaven and Hell punish people for prioritizing friendship in a way that most people assume is to be reserved only for the glory of their cause.

and irl, when people are romantic or sexual (viewed as too intimate) with someone who is considered the "wrong gender," we punish them again for that. cisheteropatriarchal culture tends to expect men in particular to be not too intimate with each other and fuels a total hiding of emotion between them, although goodness knows women get pitted against each other and are expected to choose men over each other, too. also, the status quo does not know how to handle nonbinary people at all; the status quo gets angry if you even try to acknowledge that they exist. but if there was a widely-popular etiquette structure established for enbies, i'd be willing to bet it would also be a weird rivalry thing.

like, each gender sort of gets treated as "we all think the same in this gender, which is why we get along, but we don't like each other too much, because that would be gay."

"we're all looking to keep the Great Plan in motion, but we don't like each other too much, because then we wouldn't be on opposite sides."

basically, Aziraphale and Crowley read as a queer love story because their affection for each other and the lives they've created together challenges the traditional roles their shared society forces on them. it's a happy queer love story because not only do they manage to choose that affection over the status quo, they succeed and go on to enjoy themselves.

i'm a little nervous about posting this rant, because it's kind of saying, i guess, that Crowley and Aziraphale's queer relationship is characterized by their challenges to the status quo, and i don't think by any means that has to be true of all queer people. i mean, people can be quietly non-cishet, never let anyone know, never tell a soul, and they'd still not be cishet. and also, isn't the point that someday we'd get to a point where nobody has to deal with bigotry or even disrespect?

but at the same time, it is kind of impossible to look at the history and not see significant struggles, including ones that appear in stories over and over. i can't tell you how many posts i've seen on this site alone about how queer love and queer survival are themselves acts of resistance. and IMO, that's what Crowley and Aziraphale have.

[annab-nana]

2020...

You were probably the worst and best year of my life for several different reasons.

Worst because you took away my normal college experience. Worst because mentally, you haven’t been kind. Worst because you have taken several people who have meant a lot to me and many others. Worst because people I’ve thought of as good friends don’t speak to me anymore or turned out to not be who I thought they were.

Best because for some reason being stuck in quarantine brought my best friend and I a whole lot closer. Best because I found new hobbies that I love. Best because I’ve grown a lot as a person. Best because I’ve grown a lot on here and made writings that people have enjoyed. Best because I have impacted others in a positive way and helped people. Best because I have felt the happiest I have ever felt and the most love I have experienced as well. Best because I have made many new friends that mean the world to me and I just wanted to say a small thank you to all of these people.

@rebelemilu • Emily, I remember months ago when I reblogged an edit of yours and you kinda geeked out that I did that. I thought it was the cutest thing ever and it was shocking to me that someone who didn’t even know me loved me and my stuff. Then later in July when I first ever showed my face to this hellsite, I inspired you to do the same and I got to see your beautiful face and smile and I was so happy that I was able to do that for you. You have always been so kind and supportive of me and I will forever be grateful to you for that. Now I get to talk to you almost everyday and you send me the best gifs of our favorite men and I couldn’t be happier. You are an amazing friend Em and I love you so much! You have no idea how much you mean to me.

@x-lulu • Lulu, this past month or so has been amazing! You are one of the strongest, sweetest, and most supportive people I know! Like you said, you feel like you can come to me with anything but that is how I feel about you. You have a soft warm safe presence about you that makes me feel comfortable and appreciated when I talk to you. Loneliness is my biggest struggle and I hate talking about it with anyone because it feels stupid when I say it but with you, I feel like I could discuss that with you without any judgement. Now that I know you I don’t think I could be without you. You’re just so wonderful and I wish everyone could have a lu as a friend. I don’t know what I’d do without my aesthetic queen that I love so much.

@https-luna • Luna, you are my luna bug! What else can I say? I love you so much and we’ve only really talked for the past twoish weeks but I feel like we will be friends for a long time. You are so incredibly smart and I love each and every one of your random fun facts. That makes my days so much better with your sweet personality. I feel like we’ve grown a lot closer these last few days and I wouldn’t change that for the world. You are a talented writer and I love getting to see that first hand. My love for you will never die, luna bug.

@sguymon21 • Sara, I honestly don’t remember how our friendship started. I want to say it was because we started talking when I was reading your story, All Of My Wrongs, because I fell in love with it and then we just started talking. And then we exchanged Instagrams and then Snapchats and we’ve talked for a while honestly. You are such an amazing writer and a sweet and kind soul as well and I know that at times that people haven’t been that kind to you but I promise you are so much more than what people say. You are gorgeous love and your heart is even prettier.

@samcolbylife666 • Zach, I know this is probably weird considering we haven’t talked in several months but I still wanted to thank you. You were the first person I ever really talked to on here and I hope you’re doing well. I remember the random things we’d discuss right before all hell broke loose with corona. I was literally talking to you when I had to pack to leave my dorm for our “two week” break and I was excited that our spring break had been lengthened. I’m pretty sure your plans to go to Disneyland for canceled due to everything but I hope you still get to go soon. I don’t know if you still get on here but I’d love to talk to you again.

@xgingerblue19x • Ella, my love from the other side of the world haha I love you so much. Our journey started the night Sam broke his back. I was lowkey freaking out about it and you were there to calm me down and you sent me updates about it too. It was nice to have someone to talk to when I was super anxious about someone I look up to and care deeply about. Then a few weeks later, we all lost someone really important to us, Corey, and once again, you were there. You talked with me and I am not one to easily open up to others especially when I’m upset but with you, I felt safe and you made it easy. Since then, we don’t talk super often but we can always pick up where we left off and it feels normal and not awkward at all and I love that about our friendship. You are someone I know that I can lean on and I hope you know I’m here for you as well sweetheart.

@socialanxiety-queen • Becca, I love you so much! We were both scared to reach out to each other and anxious about making new friends but I’m glad that we started to message each other and play a little game of twenty questions. Even though we don’t talk that often, I will always love and support you and I know that I can talk to you about whatever I need to. Your heart is so pure and it is a beautiful thing inside a beautiful person. You make me so happy and I love how you remember the little things about a person and make them feel so loved and appreciated and I hope you feel as loved and appreciated as you make others feel.

@toriswrites • Tori, you are such a cute little bean and I love you! We started talking right before I combined blogs on maybanksbaby and you were the one who helped me gain the courage to finally combine my blogs after I had been thinking about it for a loooooong time. I don’t think you know how grateful I am for that because it was the best decision I’ve ever made and I couldn’t have done it without you and your encouragement. So thank you for talking to me through that because I probably would’ve never done it or I would’ve pushed it off for a while if I hadn’t brought it up to you.

@heaven-with-mark • Babe, I honestly have no idea where our friendship started. I think it was you posted something and I came to check on you and then we just started talking. And then we talked almost every day all day for like a month. We’d be going crazy as we stayed up late. You’d show me all your pets and tell me their adorable and unique names which I loved. We’d talk about several random ideas and we’d talk about our problems too. I know we haven’t talked that much recently but I really miss you and I hope you are doing well.

@lonely-xplr • Bree, you are someone I’ve always looked up to. Ever since I started writing on this app and joined this fandom, I’ve looked up to you. You are so smart and so nice to talk to. I know that if I ever need someone to talk to, I can go to you. You always seem to send me something nice right when I need it and I am so grateful for that and you. I love you so much and I hope you know how much you mean to me.

@fttayla @ilovejjmaybank @demxters • Liv, Nat, and Elle, I love you all so much! You are so kind and super supportive and I thank you guys for that. Y’all are so cute too and your friendships have made me so happy.

@reinad-snc @goddess-of-time-and-magic @reddesertcolbs @xplrtrash @sarcasmhadachild @colbylover99 @cartiercolby @ygsucks @starrybrock • to my @traphousedaily babies and Kayla, you all made me feel welcome in this Sam and Colby tumblr fandom family. When I joined this group of wonderful people, I felt like I wasn’t alone and just posting my fics. I felt like I apart of something greater and I made great friends because of it. Each of you are so incredibly sweet and amazing people and I am so happy that I have gotten the chance to meet you all and become friends with you too.

@itsnotgray @ilguna @tomfreakinghollandneedsaoscar @xplrvibes @golbrocklovely @golbrockstar @turnupbrock @socialwriter @mrsmaybankhere @spilledtee @bricksatlandyswindow @dmonchld @killingbxys @nxsmss @mxltifandoms06 @uwubonebabie @rafej-cambanks @drewstarkeysbitchh @faithie-brock-gillespie01 @cognacdelights @tovvaa @moniamaybank @themaddies-obx @cuddlycolby @xplrsworld @makebank @rafeyybabyy • there are so many more but there is a tag limit to each post so I’ll probably comment to add some more but each of you have made my 2020 better. Some on small ways and others in bigger ones but each of you have brought me happiness and made me smile more so for that, thank you.

So after that reflection, I have realized that 2020 may not have been the greatest year of our lives but at least for me, the great points outweigh the bad ones tremendously. Here’s to 2021 :)

[nagisa-shiota-worthy-shit]

Star Signs and Loving Gestures

Karmagisa week 2021 day 4 prompt: Stars AKA: stargazing date

wordcount: 1693 (may be posted to AO3 later)

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Karma had thought of pretty much everything. When he’d initially informed Nagisa of the stargazing date he’d planned, he figured it would be a mess like many of their dates ended up being. Something as simple and intimate as stargazing was something that didn’t come natural to Karma and Nagisa. Sure, they’d ended up cuddling together and watching the sky before, but it had been spontaneous, and not the entire date. 

Yet, there they were, laying down on a blanket on a small grass field, bodies as close to each other as was possible while still remaining comfortable. Karma had remembered to bring food and drinks, even being so responsible as to make one of those options fruit. Nagisa appreciated that. As nice as unhealthy snacks were, he was the kind of person to eat a lot of fruit just because he enjoyed it. Karma had made fun of him for that before. 

“Can you pass me a strawberry?” Karma asked, pointing towards a container just out of his reach. 

Nagisa handed it to him with a smile, “Being healthy?” 

“No,” Karma scoffed, “I brought nutella to dip it in. Literal heaven.” 

Yeah, that was just about what Nagisa expected. It wasn’t like Karma never ate fruit, when it came to strawberries he almost seemed addicted at times, but this wasn’t the time of day for his boyfriend to pull up the healthy options. Nights to Karma Akabane menat snacking and gaming time, where convenience went above health. 

It didn’t matter, just meant there was more fruit for Nagisa. And that’s what was most important. Karma had brought it for him. It was nice and considerate of him. He couldn’t help but feel just so happy in that moment, knowing how in love he was with his boyfriend and how much he loved him back, with a nice starry sky to decorate their evening. 

“It’s so pretty,” Nagisa sighed, unsure if it was just a thought or something he wanted Karma to know, “yet so simple looking at the same time.” 

It was a clear night, warm and comfortable, in the middle of the summer. The day had been terrible, but that was over now. The sun had taken the worst of the heat with it as it had gone down. Now, all was perfect. The star were visible, and Nagisa was comfortable in simple jeans and a t-shirt. He’d brought a jacket, still, just to be sure. 

“How cute and romantic would it have been if I looked up romantic stories written in the stars beforehand?” Karma asked, “In the constellations, I mean.” 

“But you didn’t?” 

“Hell no.” 

Nagisa shook his head, laughing ever so slightly. This was just about what he was used to from his boyfriend. Not that he minded, it was part of this very specific charm Nagisa had grown to love. Besides, he’d put in enough effort in planning the rest of the date. He could deal with no romantic stories in the stars. 

“I can tell you about zodiac star signs though.” Karma added. 

“What?” Nagisa looked confused, “Like when you’re born and stuff?” 

“Yeah, well,” Karma shrugged, “I can point some of them out in the sky, if you want.” 

It sounded interesting enough to Nagisa. He was a little surprised Karma had done enough stargazing to be able to find the zodiacs. Then again, he did say he could point out “some,” so perhaps he only knew a few. Nagisa wondered which ones he knew. 

So, he let Karma talk, point at the sky, and explain which signs were where. It was a little confusing at times. Nagisa recognized a few of them, although he was unable to locate them in the sky himself, but sometimes seeing the patterns in them was a little hard. When Karma was pointing out capricorn, his own birth sign, Nagisa was just full on confused.

“Am I supposed to see a goat in that?” He asked. 

“A sea goat, yes.” Karma nodded. The way he said it made it sound like he thought he’d said something logical. 

To Nagisa, it had been the furthest off from that. In what universe did the words “sea goat” make sense colloquially? Last Nagisa checked, goats didn’t live in the sea. 

“first of all, sea goats aren’t a thing,” Nagisa spoke matter of factly, “Second, that is a triangle.” 

Now, Karma shook his head. He rolled his eyes, a gesture Nagisa didn’t appreciate, and then returned looking his boyfriend in the eyes. The look in his eyes was as stupid as his gesture had been. He looked like he was patronizing Nagisa. Nagisa made sure to glare at him in response. That toned down Karma’s expression a little. 

“It’s a mythical thing, first of all,” Karma corrected him, “Secondly, it’s a little more abstract than that, wise guy.” 

Nagisa still didn’t see it, but he accepted the explanation for now. He wanted to ask what a sea goat was, but he did not want to be patronized again. So, he kept quiet, and looked back up at the stars. All he saw when looking at the capricorn sign was just a triangle. He wondered who ever made up these so-called drawings in the sky. Mentally, he made a note to do some research on it later. 

Because it was so late, he had gotten a little tired by that point. It wasn’t like he’d done too much during the day, but he still had been awake for a rather long time. The coziness of cuddling with Karma wasn’t helping that mood. Karma had such a nice and warm body temperature, like a large, personal heater for Nagisa. 

He cuddled up a little closer to Karma, resting his head on his shoulders, and grabbed ahold of Karma’s hand with his own. For a moment, time passed in silence, the two of them connected just like that, the sky full of stars watching them. Then, Karma spoke up and ruined what was once a beautiful moment. 

“ewl I just realized you’re a cancer.” 

Nagisa couldn’t have moved away from Karma faster, moving back so he could look his boyfriend in the eyes. Genuine disgust, that’s what he saw. He hadn’t started laughing yet. He’d better start laughing soon. Even if Nagisa didn’t think this was remotely funny, he sure as hell hoped Karma had intended it that way. 

“Excuse me?!” Nagisa looked appalled at his boyfriend. 

“Your zodiac,” Karma responded, still not laughing, “You’re a cancer.” 

The point was, Nagisa knew that. Of course he knew his own zodiac sign. And the problem… Well, the problem was that Karma was saying it like it was a bad thing. Nagisa didn’t think it was. He didn’t see how being a specific zodiac made him a better or a worse person. Karma, however, seemed very opinionated on it, and his opinion didn’t appear to be anything Nagisa would like. 

So, he just stared at him for a moment again, unsure what to say about the matter. Then, he shook his head in an attempt to organize his thoughts. He had to ask for more information. There was always a chance he was misinterpreting this. He’d better be misinterpreting it. 

“I know that,” Nagisa slowly said. “Now can you tell me why that would be disgusting?” 

Karma blinked. He pursed his lips as he scanned Nagisa’s face. Nagisa was sure the annoyance was clearly portrayed there. Whatever Karma was about to say next, it better be thought through very well. Karma seemed to understand that sentiment very well, considering he actually took the time to think about his words before answering the question. 

“Cancers are known for being moody and emotional,” Karma finally said, “You know, like, they take stuff very personal.” 

“I don’t do that.” 

“You’re… literally doing it right now.” 

Now, Nagisa was silenced for a moment. Surely he wasn’t making this about himself, Karma was. Karma had started by calling him out for being a cancer. Well, Nagisa himself had been the one to take the comment seriously. And, he himself had been the one to take the description to himself rather than just a stereotype Karma was explaining. 

No, that didn’t matter. What mattered was that he wasn’t like that. Anyone could be emotional, given the right circumstances. Just because he reacted with a lot of passion, and the moment happened to already be about him personally, didn’t mean he was giving in to stereotypes. A zodiac didn’t define Nagisa. 

“They’re also known for being gifted in understanding people’s feelings and thoughts, not too far off from your assassin skills.” 

Shit, so maybe Nagisa was a little bit typical for a cancer. 

“That stuff is nonsense,” Nagisa argued, “purely coincidental.” 

There was a silence, followed by the sound of Karma’s laugh. Nagisa didn’t understand what was funny. What he said had been pretty logical. Whatever star sign you were born in didn’t influence who you were as a person. Nagisa would stand by that argument. Why Karma’s response to that idea was to laugh, was something only Karma could really explain. 

“I never said I believed in it,” Karma simply said. 

“You sure acted like it,” Nagisa pouted once more, “Your sense of humour is bad.” 

Karma simply shrugged, and Nagisa figured he may as well drop the subject. At least now he knew Karma didn’t actually judge him for the day he was born. That would have been a weird argument to ruin a relationship with. He tried to release the issue with a deep sigh, and returned his eyes up to take in the wonders of the sky. 

Eventually, Karma forced himself closer to him again, once again taking back the hand Nagisa had ripped away moments earlier. Nagisa let him. He, too, wanted to go back to the more romantic mood they’d been having. Soon enough, he felt like they had gone back to that, and the previous conversation was merely a past joke. The comfort of hugging his boyfriend as they looked at a pretty view made everything much better. 

“For what it’s worth,” Karma whispered, “You’re my favourite cancer.” 

[random-mha-thoughts]

Ears (Todoroki x Reader)

Pairing: Todoroki x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Coffee shop AU

Summary:  Todoroki works at a coffee shop where you catch his eye, but the day you finally stay in, he gets zapped by a cat quirk

Word count: 1,586

a/n: And here’s the first one shot to kick off ShouCat week!  I hope you guys enjoy this cute little post :3 Gender neutral pronouns they/you are active!

Tags: @cyanide9602 @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ @bunnythepipsqueak​

Chibi’s ShouCat Week masterlist

Todoroki's first encounter with you was like anyone else at his job: at the front counter.

You were moving a strand of your hair off your face when you walked up to him with a grateful yet tired smile on your face.  Any other customer can do something similar - in fact, many have - but for some reason, your actions were the one to catch his eye.  Maybe it can be considered love at first sight.

You ordered a caramel macchiato with coconut milk, plus one of the few breakfast sandwiches the cafe offers.  He made sure to fulfill the order to the tee, double checking the recipe, before calling the name you provided.  Seeing your eyes light up in joy at getting your coffee order was the first time his heart stuttered.  When you turned around two steps away from the counter after taking your first sip and praised, "You made it just the way I like it, thanks!" with a grin, it was the second.

Ever since then, it was a daily occurrence to meet you at the cafe for your typical order before running out the door.  On the days when his coworkers worked the counter, he'd notice you walking in and immediately start preparing your order as top priority.  He noticed you apparently favor him; his coworker had to prepare your order because of a morning rush once and he saw you grimace after taking your first sip.  Todoroki thought he failed you that day.  The next day, he relished in your noticeably extra giddiness when you realized your routine was back to normal.

His mind screamed to get to know you, but he's afraid you only see him as a great barista and that's it.  If he it wasn't for that shred or self-doubt he would've already written his number on the inside of your sandwich bag.

"Just shoot your shot, dumbass, the worst thing they'll do is say no."  Bakugou's advice wasn't delivered in the kindest way, but Todoroki needed the bluntness.

"You're assuming they'll be back for a while, what if they suddenly disappear one day?" Jirou added.  "Then you'll end up kicking yourself for not doing anything sooner."  Todoroki's chest constricted at the thought of not seeing you anymore.  He decided to do something the next day.  

That is, until he woke up the next day to cat ears on his head.

True to his hair color, one ear is red and the other is white.  To his mortification, he couldn't pull them out no matter how hard he tugged at them, and pain shoots up to them like they've been a natural part of him for his entire life.  He didn't know what to do; hats were forbidden at work because of the uniform, they wouldn't come out, he has no other way to hide them.  He can only casually stroll into work and play it off as a headband or something.

Bakugou was for sure going to call him a furry after this.

Work ended up being more or less the same as usual, except for him getting more stares that usual from both the customers and his coworkers (Yes, Bakugou laughed at him the second he walked through the door).  The girls called him cute and wanted to pet him, to which he politely refused.  His heart was too busy mentally preparing for when you would walk in and spot his new features.

He didn't have much time, however, as he turned around and suddenly there you were at the counter.  His heart pounded as your eyes flickered up to his head.  Boy, was he unprepared.

Your eyes gleamed and your mouth formed a small "o" unknowingly before collecting yourself and giving him your usual order.  Todoroki noticed a few of your lingering stares and felt twice as embarrassed.  How could this happen to him?

It got worse from there (at least, to him it did).  His dismay grew when he saw you carry your meal to a table near the front window instead of out the door.  Of all the days you decided to stay for the morning instead of leaving, this tragedy had to befall him?  How could this happen?

"You're an idiot," Bakugou startled him during his lunch break when the boy was hiding in the staff room.  "Why are you here?"

"I can't go out there with my ears like this."   Todoroki flicked one of his new ears.  He had to admit, they're pretty soft to the touch.

"You should be out there talking to your lover, not holed up here."  The ash blond had enough of Todoroki being a wuss.  He pulled the boy up by the arm and towed him out in public, shoving him towards the table.  "Go, stupid!  They'll think you look cute with your stupid ears, it's a blessing in disguise!"

The lost male was about to turn around and protest when he saw Bakugou's eyes being redder than usual.  He wasn't getting out of this one.  Taking a deep breath to ease his hammering heart, he strolls over to your table.  He could only think of something professional to say so he wouldn't sound creepy.  "Were you satisfied with your order today?"

You looked up from your laptop.  Noticing the familiar boy, you smiled, "Of course!  You always make it to perfection, thank you!"

A wave of relief and warmth spread through his body at that.  "I'm flattered you remember me."

"There's no reason I shouldn't."  You move your bag and laptop away from the other side of the table.  "If you're on break, sit for a while."

Todoroki gratefully accepted the invitation, mostly because he was scrambling to think of how to ask anyway.  "So... what brings you here?  I mean, usually you get your order to go, I'm just wondering why you decided to sit for once."

You closed your laptop, giving him your full attention.  "One of my classes were canceled today and I had some work to catch up on.  And I like the vibe here."

"Oh, I see."

You stared back up at Todoroki's head and cough.  "You didn't have those before, did they just grow overnight or something?"

The boy's face turns crimson.  "You wouldn't believe me if I said they did."  Telling you the truth came naturally to him since he felt you wouldn't make fun of him.  "I'm hoping they're only temporary,"

"Well, even if they are temporary, you still look cute with and without them."

If it were possible for Todoroki to turn redder, he would have at your flirty comment.  He fingered the soft tissue since you had left him dumbfounded and tongue-tied.

It seemed to have flustered you as well.  "I hope this doesn't sound weird or anything," you stammer, looking down at your hands in shame before peering up at him, "But, can I...scratch your ears?"

Todoroki was sure his heart exploded into a million pieces at your request.  It took all he could to not just plop right into your lap like a real cat.  "I'm okay with that," he answered a little too quickly.

He loved the way your eyes brighten at his acceptance.  Scooting over, he brought his head closer to you in anticipation.  As soon as your soft touch meets his ears, he was in heaven.  Such a simple action as ghosting your fingers across the new appendages lights up the sensitive nerve endings there.  His eyes subconsciously close at the new sensations, leaning into your touch as your nails scratch behind them.  If he wasn't careful he would probably have purred right in front of you, but a part of him wouldn't have cared.

"Are you sure you're a human?"  You chuckled at his obvious enjoyment of your treatment.  "You seem to love this a little too much."

He straightened his body back up.  "You just do a pretty good job of...petting."  What else was he supposed to call it?

"I have a soft spot for cats, I love petting them."  Your orbs probed his.  "If you still have them tomorrow, would you like me to pet them again for you?"

Todoroki's wanted to smile to it cracks his face in half.  "S-Sure."

You took your pen from the table and wrote your number on the inside of his arm, your touch barely any pressure as you hold his wrist steady.  "Your hands probably get wet all day working, I don't want it to rub off."

"That would be smart."  He liked your warmth being close to him.  When he gets the courage, he'd like to caress you the same way as well.  Now that their relationship has moved on to the next step, he wanted to keep you close to him the way you were right then.

You met his intent stare at you when you finished writing on his arm, staying that way for a moment, and for a fleeting moment the thought of you pecking his nose flashed across his mind, but then the lilt of your laughter shook him out of his thoughts.  "You really are a cat, you have an intense stare like one."

Todoroki blinked stoically.  "Is that bad?"

"No, it's endearing."

Todoroki hoped that you two have more affectionate encounters like these.  He's practically a purring kitten under your tender gaze and touch.

.

.

Bonus:

All the girls are in the back of the cafe swooning, but also secretly jealous that Todoroki only allowed you - a seemingly perfect stranger - to pet his ears while Bakugou stands there all smug because he was the reason you two are together in the first place.

[mysecretatticsstuff]

Pranks

Pairing : Jeon jungkook x reader

Word count: 27.3k

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, emotional breakdown.

Summary: You thought you were going to enjoy college. Even with unfortunate events and a poor sleep schedule you were trying to live your best life. Untill one particular kid, aka golden boy of campus came dashing into your life.

College. The place you got excited to go thinking you would finally meet good people, make friends and have the time of your life. And yet here you are, 3 am in the morning just barely hanging in there with a paint brush in your hand finishing up the poster that was supposed to be a group project for physiology class. You have dozed off a couple of times now, with eyes open doing the detailed line work that you suggested not to put in it because of the amount of time it takes. You almost messed it up but your multitasking skills save you. In short you hate college. Or more so, you hate your luck for always putting you in the companionship of the worst people in the world. You can now permanently stamp a "pissed off" warning to your forehead to avoid casualties.

Grumpy wasn't even a mood anymore, it's a lifestyle. And some people just make it real difficult for you to not eat them alive. On top of that list was Mr. Jeon Jungkook. Golden boy, good at whatever he does, loved by everyone he has a conversation with. Well except for you. You on the other hand want to kill him. Not because you're jealous or anything. Heck you would be happy for him if he didn't make your life a living hell. You always wondered what you did for him to hate your existence so much. He kept pulling off weird ass stunts with you. Once he filled your water bottle with chilli tomato ketchup, you took a gulp without knowing and had a red face for a legit hour. Another time he issued the last copy of only book that had the reference you needed and kept it untill a day before the assignment was due. So you had to beg him to give the book to you and complete the whole assignment in one day. (Which was not fun of course). He mixed salt in your drink, splashed water from behind while you were returning to your apartment and what not. At first you thought to ignore him, when the stunts were small. But he just kept doing that shit and you grew angrier. When you asked him, why the heck was he doing that to you he just simply smiled like a devil, winked at you and walked away. That was a year ago, since that day you have been wanting to kill him.

You weren't the aggressive type by nature, your friends would agree that you were the most calm and collected, amiable and open minded friend in the group. Your personality was more of a mediator than a murderer. But the golden boy brought out the beast in you. When you realised that he isn't stopping with the obnoxious pranks. You started pulling off your own as a revenge. To be honest you didn't even regret it. Heck it was even cathartic. Once you hid his clothes while he was in the gym, so basically he had to wait inside the bathroom for the whole day in a towel. (You took his phone too so that he couldn't call anyone for help). You "accidentally" splashed juice onto his crisp white t-shirt before an early morning class. You wrapped his bike with cling film and bubble wrap. It was tiring but worth it when you saw his face, glaring daggers at you cause he was getting late for class and couldn't leave his apartment. You made sure you smiled sweetly at him when he saw you that day.

By now, everyone in your friend circle and both of your departments knew how you both jumped at the first opportunity to ruin each others day. You stopped questioning Jungkook because he never answered instead you focused on how to attack him in the best way.

The past two months have been extra rough for you, both personally and academic wise. Hence, jungkook's bickering has had you in a new level of pissed. A level you didn't know existed. Honestly you were amazed by the fact that you haven't had a breakdown till now. You didn't get any chance to pull anything off against him and that makes you angrier. I guy you were talking to back and forth has suddenly ghosted you and you are wallowing in all the self pity. You've had less than 4 hours of sleep for the past week because of all the requirements for class. You're just a week away from finishing everything off and you're praying that the devil doesn't make it impossible.

You personally hated Mondays, but who are you kidding everyday feels like a monday now. You head to the library first thing in the morning to finish your paper, a semester worth of work. You settle in starting to type out the last page. About an hour later your phone vibrates.

"Hey where are you?" It was Sunmi your best friend.

"I'm in the library" you wisper shout

"Oh.. i had something urgent to say to you can you come out for a second. I'm almost there."

"Okay, coming" you say.

Outside, sunmi was waiting for you with a book in hand.

"Jeez, y/n you look dead. Do you even sleep anymore?"

You sigh out loud, "Don't ask, i feel like i'm gonna pass out anytime soon. Coffee isn't helping anymore. I think i need drugs"

Sunmi just shakes her head in disbelief "What you need is a good night sleep. And for the drugs part, try sex." She says this in such sincerity that you actually consider it for a second before she laughs.

You laugh too, "Uggh, i can't wait to finally go out this weekend, i'm turning into a hermit. Anyways i'm sure u didn't call me out here to talk about hookups..?"

At this she hands you the book, "Yeah I didn't, but we need to talk about your dry state after you're free tho, but till then here you go. The book that you were searching for, you wouldn't believe how I.. or i should say where I found it I-... "

"Wait... Before you start your essay, i need to finish my paper. I meet you after your classes today. Tell me then. I need to go... Bye!" you hurriedly say before you turn around and enter the library

"But it's about Jungkook... " Sunmi tries to explain. But she realises you can't hear her anymore. She says to herself rather, "I hope you don't find trouble."

You almost reach your designated place when you see him. White T-Shirt and olive green cargos. That little shit, what was he up to again? You hurry to your laptop, only to find him smirking as if he knows some secret you don't.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" You ask. "Ooh.. chill Princess, just thought i'd see you and your work". At the mention of work you wake your computer up. A chill ran down through your spine followed by panic when you couldn't find the document you saved. After a moment, your eyes shot up, glaring dangerously at him. He sat up, folding his arms onto the table. "What's wrong? Can't find something?"

"What the fuck did you do, Jeon?" You wanted to scream bloody murder at him, but you didn't know how were you this calm.

"Tsk, tsk,.. last names now huh? Someone's angry. Tell me princess, will I win a prank of the year trophy this time?"

You were unable to speak. Your blood boiled, you wanted to punch him, better kill him. When you didn't reply he continued. "I hope you remember what your wrote in your thesis, even better if your typing skills are on fire, cause you need to rewrite within one week" He was putting a full display of his evil grin. Clearly amused by the situation he put you in. But you slowly realised what he meant. You quickly went to the recycle bin of your computer to test your luck, but soon saw that the demon had already deleted it from the bin too. Your heart sank. This was not fair. You wanted to cry now. Months and months of your hardwork, gone now. What the fuck was that bitch even thinking. This was not a joke anymore. It was your finals. Yes you both have done horrible things to each other but you made sure that it never got out of line. But him deleting your final thesis. This was definitely out of the line. You could not rewrite the whole thing even if you tried in a week. It would never get close to the original one. You would miss many points and the writing style. Damn you for not keeping an extra copy of the thesis somewhere. But again, you never thought Jungkook would go this low. You didn't even want to think how he figured out the passcode for your laptop. Anger doesn't describe what you were feeling now. You wanted to shut down. When Jungkook didn't hear a threatening or a curse, he chimed in. "Have I pulled the most epic prank on miss y/n that it finally shut her smart mouth?"

You couldn't bare it anymore, all these weeks of running around with just 4 hrs of sleep or sometimes non has made you physically weak. You wanted to escape. You throat hurt from the suppressed tears. But you were not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry. You look at jungkook in the eye. Cold. You stand up, take your things and leave.

All the way to your apartment, you wanted to cry, but you waited till you were inside the safe heaven of your bed.How could he do this to you? When this crazy prank scenario started you couldn't comprehend why the nicest guy ( according to students and professors) had taken a toll on you. Yes you were angry at the beginning. But soon it had simmered down to something else. You couldn't pin point what, exactly. It's true his pranks were delirious and you hated him with all your will, but you couldn't help notice the small ways he made a difference in your life. You were an over-thinker, and this stupid game of pranks with him kept you busy. It was kind of the only source of entertainment for you as academics was no joke. It's difficult to explain but you became more productive because of him. You became a more open person, you made a lot of friends and most of the conversations started with how people don't understand why both of yo fight. Jungkook's friends became your friends too. You found out a lot of things about him through them. One that he was a naturally competitive person. He was a big softy inside they said, that was a bit hard to believe for you. But once he stood up for you when you were being cat called, he was so close to beating the shit out of the boys, nevertheless you dragged him out of it. He walked you to your apartment without even uttering a word. You wanted to say thank you, but the very next day he deflated your tires. And the saga continued. The moral of the story is you definitely had developed a soft spot for him. And this prank was definitely a blow to your ego and your heart.

All the emotions, the exhaustion just came crashing down and you let the dam break. You cried like a baby, whether because of the grief of your lost files, anger or because of him entirely you didn't know. You woke up 3 hours later, with puffy eyes and a blocked nose. You decided you can't let him get to you. So you did what you do best, turn all the frustration into anger towards him. You arranged all the resources for your thesis, and then you sat down with your laptop typing away from the beginning.

You didn't go to college next day, thought it would be better to stay at home and work. There were no classes anyways. You already sent an email to your professor informing him that there was a technical difficulty and you lost your files. Your professor was kind enough to excuse you from all the classes that week to work on your thesis stating that you had good attendance already. Sunmi called you, she felt guilty about the whole thing. "I should have known there was something fishy when that asshole gave me the book. I shouldn't have asked you to come out".

"Hey, it's fine, it's not your fault. I'll kill him with my own hands once everything is over"

"Still.. i feel super bad. Let me know if you need anything. I can bring you books from the library.."

"Thank you sun, i'll let you know if I need anything.. "

"Okay.... Oh and y/n,.. Jungkook came looking for you today. He seemed anxious? kinda worried even. I told that fucker i don't know where you are. Thought you should know"

Jungkook was looking around for you, that's weird. Was he feeling guilty? You always came up with a new prank. Maybe he is just surprised you vanished. "Hmmm... Thanks, i don't want him to know anything about me, Anyways i couldn't careless about him now. See you later".

"Take care y/n".

It was 10 pm when you stood up from your desk, your shoulders and wrists were stiff from all the typing. You realised you hadn't eaten anything for 7 hours now. It was raining heavily, you felt a bit dizzy. When you finally get out of college, this would be a hell of a story to tell though. You missed home dearly, you wanted someone to just hold you and assure you that everything is going to be okay. You took some leftover pizza from your fridge and put it in the microwave. Sometimes living alone just gets to you. All the loneliness, all the times you wished someone was there to comfort you. Your body ached and you felt pathetic about yourself. 'Why me?' was your question. A mixture of all these thoughts and emotions were swirling in your head and you didn't even realize that you were crying now. This was your 3rd breakdown in a span of two days.

"Pathetic" you muttered to yourself. Then your heard the bell ring. Confused at who came by at this ungodly hour, you wiped your tears and went to get the door.

You didn't expect the person you were staring at. Doe eyes slowly scanned you, from your feet to face. Jungkook.

You must have puffy red eyes, you think. God you didn't want him to see you like this. All petty and defeated. He was partially soaked from the rain. Jungkook just stood there, staring back at you. You waited for him to speak, when he didn't, you finally spoke, "What are you doing here?"

"I didn't see you in college today" he replied. Jungkook looked guilty? Sad even. "Why didn't you attend?" He asks next.

"That's non of your business" that came out harsher than you thought. At this his face turned stern. "Were you crying?"

At this point you don't know what or when will you break down. You could already feel a little lump forming in your throat. You looked down at your feet. "Go away, i have work". That came out so fragile and weak, you cringed internally. He stepped in. Searched around in his pocket and brought out a small USB in his hand. You looked at it and then his face.

"Your files" he said.

"You... why would you even... What the fuck? Jungkook!" With every word your voice rose. You thought he was feeling guilty, but he was just a little brat, playing games. All your softness was gone now.

You could tell by his devilish smirk that he was enjoying this way too much. "Who do you think you are?" You saw red with anger. With that much of a volcano boiling inside you, you were not sure what were you doing. Your hand flew up involuntarily. Lets just say, you would have punched him if it wasn't for his quick reflexes. He grabbed your wrist, turned you around. His other arm swiftly snaked around your waist.

"Woah.. easy princess. You sure you can fight me?" He tightens his grip around you. You hate to admit how badly it affects you. You can feel your knees going weak. His taught chest pressed against your back. You can feel him way too much through your thin t shirt. Your face heats up without you wanting it. No, no, no, no, you can't let your stupid hormones get to you. This is crazy. You hate him. Then why do you suddenly feel hot? As if on cue he lowers his head and whispers in your ear, " You okay, sweetheart?"

The new pet name, sends a spike of electricity just between your legs. You bite your lip to control the moan that threatens to leave your mouth. He notices the change too, the tension between you two is growing. You turn around to face him. He lets you. "I hate you."

His arms are still around you, circling your waist. He looks soft, as if relieved of some burden. Your clothes are getting wet from the contact. You don't know what to say, because you can hardly process what is happening. Just then your microwave beeps to your rescue.

You half jump half stumble away from him. "Uggh, i'll bring you a towel. Be right back."

When you return, he is standing in front of the couch. Looking godly. You sneak a glance at his chest and now hardened nipples before landing your eyes on his face. You hand him the towel. As if a half soaked jungkook wasn't enough. He swifty stripped off his t-shirt before drying himself off. You freeze. He looks at you gaze piercing.

"W- why.. did you do that?"

"You need to be a bit more specific sweetheart" he takes a step closer to you. You don't move away.

"The pranks.. why do you hate me so much, that you need to make my life a living hell?" You said softly.

"Helps me sleep at night." He smirks. You rolled your eyes at this. You were about to turn around when he grabs you by hand.

"I don't hate you. It's quite the opposite actually" Your eyebrows shot up at this. "yeah right. You think you can fool me again?" You scoff.

"I know you're a fool sometimes, but to be honest y/n I didn't know you were this dense" He mocked with a smirk.

"What the fuck? Okay that's it. Get out of my house Jeon" you demanded.

"What if I say no, Princess?"

You couldn't believe it. This guy has the audacity to mock you in your own house and then refuse to leave. You were beyond irritated now.

"How do people like you? You're such an ass. Leave before-..." you didn't get to complete the sentence before he pulls you towards him, with such force that you stumble, loose your balance and fall straight on his chest.

HIS BARE CHEST. GOD THIS WAS BAD. You felt your throat getting dry. You couldn't speak. He was firm, you kind of wonder about how much he works out. You could feel his silky smooth skin. You just stared at him, like a deer caught in headlights.

"That's it? You're not gonna 'make me' leave princess?" He says, with his face inches away from you.

*Pull it together y/n* you scold yourself mentally. But you body just froze and it feels hot. You probably have a red face now. You make another mistake of glancing at his lips, which are so damn close, it kinda makes you feel things you can't explain.

Jungkook notices this. He sees right through you. He finally speaks, "If you still haven't got it y/n, i don't know what to do with you... I... " He sighs, "I like you y/n. A lot. And I don't know how to behave when i'm around you, so I keep teasing you.." he says with a sincere look. "And besides.. you look hot, when you are angry at me" He smiles.

You realise you're still holding each other. Your heart is hammering in your chest. He probably can feel it beating too. You want to punch him for being such a jerk, but you also want to kiss him. You're so frustrated, at this point you don't know where the courage came from for what you did next. You kiss him. Out of all the things this was something he did not expect. This time he froze, hands paralyzed at your hips. When he finally came to his senses that it was really happening, he kissed back.

You snake your arms around his neck, pulling his hair into a fist. He lets out a small moan. You pull back, smirking. "No snarky comments now huh Jeon?" you mock, satisfied with his look. His face is flushed. You can feel his member slowly growing. He took some time to overcome his initial shock. Then he said, "No shit.. I'm.. God you're hot" And he is kissing you again. More in control this time. You part your lips to let him enter. His hands cup your face. Your kiss gets heated, one of his hands goes down, between your breasts, to your stomach. Then he waits, as if asking for permission.

"What now?" You say in between your kisses. "No guts for that?" You challenge him. And this time he actually has nothing to say. So you smirk, you take his hand and slowly slip him under your t-shirt.

"Shit". He mutters. He touches your skin, you feel like you're on fire. Goosebumps form all over your body. You feel alive.

The next thing he did left you speechless. He slips both hand under your t-shirt and with one go pulls off your shirt and throws it behind you. You gawk at him in suprise. You can tell he liked the way you reacted because his eyes went dark and he looked at you like he wanted to take you right there. "Jeez Jeon.. give the girl a break" with this you latched on him again. He stumbled back and landed on the couch. Seeing the opportunity, you climb on him, Keeping your weight on your knees, you hover just above his member. You know he wants you to sit on him, but you don't want to give him the satisfaction.

"I think I need to mess with her assignments more often" saying more to himself than to you. "Specially if it leads to this" he stands up keeping you close.

" I heard that you idiot" you were now feverishly unbuckling his pants. He moved his lips to suck you down your jawline, he made sure to nib and suck a bit harder right above your pulse point.

You let out a moan. Your hands are shaking but you somehow manage to undo his pants.

You feel really hot. You were about to pull his pants down when he holds both of your wrists. You freeze, your mind racing at 100 miles per hour. Did you do something wrong? Are you crossing your line? Did he not want this and you took it otherwise? God this is embarrassing.

You eyes were still wide when he said, "I'm not messing around this time y/n. I really do like you" he looks so very sincere that he moves some part of you. But you decided that you ain't gonna let him go so easily.

"I had three mental breakdowns since yesterday". You shot back. At this his eyes turned sad. Like he was really feeling guilty. You felt bad for him now, wondering if it was too harsh.

"I never wanted that, I thought you would argue with me and at the end of it i'd give you the usb, but you looked so angry, and when u left without saying a word I knew i had fucked up. Big time."

You backed off, hands crossed in front of your chest.

Jungkook knew you were angry. But he couldn't deny that he was beyond turned on by this site, you just in your bra and shorts, angry at him. You didn't know how hard he was trying not to turn you around bend you over your desk and fuck you silly.

You noticed that he visibly gulped, he was eyeing you like a prey. But he waited, because you were angry. He wanted to do this right.

"And all this time I kept wondering what wrong did I do to you. I hate you, you know that Jeon?...

"Baby, i'm sorry" he purred stepping closer.

A new surge of arousal hit you at this. "D.. Don't baby me..." The stuttering gave you out. He smirked liked a devil. He closed the gap between the two of you. He hovered above your lips, "forgive me please" he said just an inch away from your lips.

"Kiss me please" you said, not being able to process anything. And he did, he kissed you like there was no tomorrow. Strong and urgent. He cupped your ass and gave a tight squeeze. You let out a moan.

"Do you want to take it to the bedroom?" He asked voice an octave deeper.

You nodded, not trusting your mouth. He lifted you and you wrapped your legs around him. His body was divine, his skin was smooth, heat radiated from him although he was soaked before, lips not sparring you even one 1 second. You could feel his hard on, on your stomach and it felt powerful that you can do such things to him.

"God i've been dreaming about this for so long"

"How long, jeon?" You asked stripping him off his pants and underwear.

"From the moment you debated with your proffessor about a theory in front of your department. I watched you prove your points to him, and i swear to god I had a hard on since. I had to run to the bathroom to give myself some relief " he chuckles at the memory.

"Nerd" Fully naked now, you stare at his body.

"Damn, why are you so hot. This is not fair"

He looked at you. "I see you haven't gotten rid of your clothes yet y/n.. i would like to watch baby"

So you stripped, putting up a show for him. He grabbed you when you were about to take off you panties. He turned you around, pushed you onto the wall, you balanced yourself onto the wall.

"You're gorgeous." He said before slipping his large hand in your panties and cupping your entire sex. He then hurriedly took your panties off. He pressed himself on your behind and you whimpered. He fondled your breasts with one hand and the other slowly slid towards your dripping core.

He kept touching you there, in slow tantilizing movements. You squirmed. He teased you more, knowing you needed some pressure on your clit. He avoided it the most. You were growing anxious.

"Juuunngkook... Please" you draged each syllable.

"What's wrong?" He was enjoying this way too much you could tell.

"I think I deserve being worshipped after what you make me go through kook". You stated with eyes screwed shut.

"Okay, that's fair". At this he dipped one finger inside, testing if you could take him. He gasped at the warmth and the slick that now covered his fingers. He started slow at first, drawing out low moans from you. Then without alarm he added one more digit and started pistoning in and out. You arched your back with pleasure. You were so aroused, and mixed up with your pent up stress and frustration you could already feel something heavy settling at your lower belly, tightening inch by inch.

"Kook... I'm gonna... Cum". You said between grunts.

"You're doing so good baby, cum on my fingers"

You found your release at his praise. Pleasure coursing through your veins with lightening speed. Mid orgasm Jungkook smacks your pussy. And you go crazy at that, so much that you see white. When you finally come to your sense you find his strong arms snaking your waist and holding you, so that you don't fall down. He upper body completely glued to you.

Then you finally speak, head thrown back chest heaving

"I think,.. this was the strongest I ever came in my life"

Jungkook chuckles, "You're welcome". He kisses your shoulder. He slowly lets you go, so that you can stand by your own. You haven't forgotten the fact that, his hard on is pressing onto your back, waiting for the attention.

"So tell me Jeon..." You kiss him slowly moving towards your bed, you stop, look him innocently in the eye and ask, "Where do you wanna cum? My mouth or my pussy?"

"God, if you keep saying such things, I think i can cum just like this" His hand rubs all over your body, "For now, let's put that sinful mouth of yours into good use, okay?"

You nod, leading him to lie down on the bed.

If somebody would have told you, the previous day, that you out of all the people would blow Jeon jungkook, in your bed. You would have smacked them in the face.

You straddle him, and then you start Pickering kisses, first his mouth then his jaw. You have to admit he is a damn good kisser, you get so lost in the kissing that you almost miss that he is grinding himself onto your core. Coating himself with the slick. You feel your pussy tingling. You keep peppering kisses moving to his jawline, then his neck, biting a bit hard on his sweet spot to make sure it blooms with purple afterwards.

At one point he gropes you ass with one hand and pushes you down to grind with more force.

"Change of plans sweetheart. Do you have condoms?" He asks, eye sparking with lust.

You sit straight, a smirk plastered on your face, you bend towards your nightstand, and bring out a foil packet from your drawer.

"Always so fucking prepared" he slaps your ass, you gasp at the sting. He is looking at you, trying to figure out whether you liked it or not. You moan, with your eyes closed.

Jungkook is painfully hard now. If he doesn't put it inside you, he thinks he might burst out of sheer arousal.

"Baby.." he says in a raspy voice

You hurry up at this, you tear the foil and roll it onto him. You raise up to lie down but he grabs you. "Ride me.." voice octaves lower. You're so wet already, you don't think you need extra prepping. You come back to your stance and slowly sink in holding his member for guidance.

Both moan at the pleasure surging through the body. You're impressed by his strength, for holding out so long. He has his eyes tight shut, almost as if everything is too much for him. You feel great, warm where he is inside you. You notice how beautiful he looks under you. Head arched back into the pillow, he looks sexy as hell.

You were zoned out in your thoughts, when he snapped back. "Y/n move". And there you were riding the most handsome guy from campus. And you couldn't believe both of you were making such mind blowing noises. You piston on him for a while before getting tired, thankfully he got the message. He started thrusting his hips up to you with such a velocity that you didn't know was even possible. You could feel another orgasm right around the corner, but you didn't want to finish before him.

"Kook, are you close?"

"So close baby" he whined .

"Me too.. ughhh"

At this he moved his hands from your hips to your breasts. He gave a squeeze. His member was throbbing inside you.

"Come with me y/n" he said through gritted teeth. Suddenly he then spanked one of your boob, while other hand pressed on your clit. You didn't see it coming and the suprise helped to exceeded any pleasure you felt in your whole life. Heat surged from your fluttering cunt throughout your belly. Your orgasm hit you like a truck. It was so strong you couldn't hear anything for some seconds. That followed by ringing of your ears.

You don't know when did he flipped you on your back but you could see his eyes screwed shut, eyebrows drawn together. One last trust and he was coming with you. Your highest high lasted for a while, and left you with aftershocks. Jungkook collapsed on top of you, he hadn't pulled out yet and your sensitive sex was still clenching on him.

You both layed there motionless. It was he who moved first, pulling out with a slight hiss. He tossed his condom with a knot in the trash can and fell back on the bed with a thump. You were still slightly dazed out from the orgasm. He chuckled seeing you in the bliss.

"God, Jeon, i'll be sore tomorrow."

"Well I'll take that as a complement" he smiled.

"That was hot. You're hot" you replied turning away your head feeling shy, all of a sudden.

He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you close, "Damn baby, i didn't know i'd see this side of y/l/n ever."

"Don't stroke your ego too much jeon".

He kissed your shoulder and smiled, "Do you have any idea, how hot and pretty and beautiful you are?"

You looked at him, for the first time you saw how his eyes twinkled while talking to you.

So you just kiss him, which he welcomes whole heartedly.

.

.

The next day you step in the college campus feeling amazing. You have been smiling to yourself since the morning. Since Jungkook gave back your thesis, it was just an hour's work away from getting the final sweep before submission. You hit the library, finish off your work and finally submit it. Your proffessor was not surprised when you told him that Jungkook pranked you again. Even if he found it weird that you had no anger or resentment towards him, he didn't point it out. Now that you felt 10kgs lighter, you had one class to attend and then you were done for the week.

You were heading back to class, when some of your classmates commented, "Hey y/n, we're rooting for you both" . They glimmered while talking to you. Unfortunately they passed by too quickly for you to enquire. You entered the class, confused and zoned out enough that you don't eveb notice how everyone's eyes are on you.

"Y/l/n".

You know that voice. You look towards the last row, he stands, smiling at you. You didn't know what was happening, but your nerves were on fire. Your hands suddenly got clammy and your heart beat started to fasten. You internally scolded yourself.

*Calm down, it's just Jungkook*

He looked nervous? You could tell, it wasn't his usual cocky behaviour. He didn't know what to do with his hands. So he just let them hang. It's weird you think.

As your gears in your brain were working, you start walking towards him. But his voice stopped you.

"Y/n".. then he jutted out his chin, pointing behind you. You could hear your heart hammering.

You turn.

" Y/N Y/L/N, I'M SORRY, SAY YES.. PLEASE?

-J.K. "

There it was written on the white board. In bold capital letters.

Is this a joke? If it's a joke you're not going to be able to walk out of here. Did Jungkook sleep with you so that he could pull the biggest prank in history? But he said all those sweet things yesterday right?

Before you could react, Jungkook spoke behind you. You turned to find him in front of you. You were hyperaware now, the students who were entering silently took their seats looking at you two. This felt like a scene from the movies.

"Y/n, i'm sorry that all this time I made your life a living hell. But i'm also glad because otherwise I wouldn't have the chance to know you." He smiles, his nervousness showing.

He slowly takes your hand. You let him. You already feel the emotions surging inside you. Is he really going to ask you out in front of the whole class?

He takes a long pause. It's almost painful waiting for him to finish the speech. Then he says-

"I'm sorry, Y/n will you be my girlfriend?" He says in one breath.

You gasped. All you could do was just stare at him, staring you back. Suddenly you forgot how to speak. Jungkook breaks the silence. "Say something please, you're killing me here. I -"

"Yes". He stops speaking. Grin slowly spreading from ear to ear.

"ABOUT FUCKING TIME" Someone from the class cheers. Everybody starts clapping. You can't stop smiling. Jungkook pulls you towards him, hugging you. You hug him back.

"Aww guys just kiss each other already!!" Hoseok, spoke with a mischievous smiled plastered on his face.

Jungkook pulled your face towards him for a kiss. It was a sweet kiss. You smirked when you felt how badly he wanted to shove his tongue down your throat but refrained since you're in public. Seeing you smirk, he whispers to you. "I can't wait to take you to my place after this". You shiver at the thought.

____________________________________________

"Mmmmm, kook..." He kissed your neck. You could get used to this. Straddling his lap and making out.

"Yes baby.." u feel his smirk against your skin.

"I have a question." You said, putting a space between you two. He took your hands and started leaving pecks starting from your knuckles moving upwards. You giggled.

"Why didn't proffessor take our class today, like he came 1 hr late, gave us homework and went away. I feel like this has something to do with you asking me out.."

"Y/n, babe out of all the questions you could ask me while making out, you choose this?" He pretended to be offended. You smacked his chest looking at him expectantly.

He started- "Well I might have talked to the prof before class telling him, i kinda need a favour from him.. "

"WHAT?" U couldn't believe this boy.

"Perks of having good rapport with prof. Also i always pay attention in class. You should learn from me y/n.." he looked at you innocently. As if he was not kneading your ass right now.

"Jeon Jungkook please tell me that you at least made up a situation or does our proffessor has first hand knowledge about us being in love.." the L word just slipped out. You acted like you didn't notice. But he surely did.

He winked at you, smiling wide like he got a promotion. "What did you just say?"

"Ugh about what?"

" About us being in something."

He was so smug about this, you knew he had won. You leaned into him.

"Let me show you instead" you wispered in his ear. The hair on Jungkook's body stood up , he had goosebumps. He picked you up towards his bedroom.

"Goddamn I love you".

[anika-ann]

Errare Humanum Est - Pt.16

Down the Memory Lane

Type: series, soulmate AU series  (part 1, part 2)   x Supernatural

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader (past?)    Word count: 3880

Summary: You don’t remember your soulmate and all you knew his now is his name, his looks and that you have died on him... but perhaps you could at least learn the sweet parts of your story too?

Warnings: mentions of violence, swearing, light angst and fluff, oh, and Dean’s human skills in overdrive for a bit ;)

Story masterlist

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The ten minutes it took Steve to return from the communal kitchen was enough of a breather, allowing you to put yourself together at least a bit. A bit. You spent most of the given time staring blindly ahead with your brain in overdrive, alternating it with the urge to get up from your ass to inspect the room closer.

Steve had your favourite tea stocked; did he have a picture of you somewhere? Was there anything that would clue you what he enjoyed doing when he wasn’t working? What did he like to wear? If you opened the rather spacious closet, would you find a pile of white tank tops and sweats like the ones he was wearing now or would there be a variety of shirts – blue ones, preferably, ones that would bring out his eyes? Was he a tea drinker like you (apparently)? Was he a health freak or that kind of a person who could eat anything and still stay fit due to lucking out and probably working out like a half of a day?

What was the notebook placed on one of his nightstands with a pencil on it? Was it a diary? A place to write down random thoughts? Things he remembered to do right before falling asleep, writing them down rather than leaving the bed to complete the task instantly? Or did he like drawing? Writing stories? Poetry?

So, so many questions… the anxiety from meeting him was still more than present, but now the curiosity was gently nudging it away. You felt calmer. The minutes were enough for settling your frantic thoughts.

That was what you kept telling yourself until Steve showed up with two mugs that smelled like heaven and… a plate of cookies.

They looked like sugar cookies (how did you know sugar cookies again?) and your mouth instantly started watering. You were very quickly falling for this man. It probably helped he knew how to make you fall for him, because he knew what you liked better than yourself, but damn.

You watched him put the items on the table, waiting for him to sit. He seemed more at ease too, as if the short time apart helped him collect himself, though his eyes were red-rimmed as if he had a quick cry and a freak-out; to which you could easily relate.

Nevertheless, his whole body appeared more relaxed, the tension in his shoulders dissolving. His features were soft, less worries clouding his expression. He even gave you a brief smile, gesturing towards the coffee table.

“Steve, how dare you?” you quipped in return, making him freeze.

“What did I do?” he asked, sounding wounded and alarmed.

“Cookies. How dare you to serve cookies with what apparently is my favourite tea. What is it, by the way? It smells amazing.”

His smile shone brighter when he realized you were only being playful. Why were you being playful again? Where did it come from?

“Black tea. Flavoured sweet cherry. And I thought… uhm, I saw the cookies in the kitchen and thought you might like some,” he revealed, the subtle blush rushing back to his cheeks, much to your delight. The tips of his ears turned pink too. It was adorable.

While you believed there was more behind his statement, you didn’t call him out on it. Yet.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

You took one of the mugs to your hands, gently blowing the tea, swirling the aroma. Yeah, you could see this thing being your favourite beverage. When you sipped it carefully, you were sure.

Glancing at Steve, you saw him watching you, clearly content with your reaction. You smiled at him over the edge of the mug before setting it down again.

“So… what was the first thing I told you?”

“…that there must be a mistake,” he admitted slowly, a hint amusement soaking through his voice.

You, on the other hand, were horrified.

“I did what?! Oh my god, why would I do that?”

Steve’s amusement only seemed to grow, a bashful smile curling up his lips, an eyebrow slowly rising.

“I told you I really was 95. If you want to get into conversation about which of us should reconsider thinking before speaking, you might need a better argument here.”

That… yeah, okay, you had to give him that. But still.

‘There must be a mistake’ and ‘I’m sorry’? Wow, you rocked this whole talking to your soulmate for the first time thing, didn’t you?

“…okay. That’s fair. But that must have been terrible for you to think that… I dunno. Maybe thinking that I would consider meeting you a mistake, right?”

Steve shrugged and delicately –yes, delicately, despite his huge hands – pulled at the straps of his top, revealing the words for you to see.

Oh, great, the first time when you met him, there was even an ‘Oh no’ involved.

Upon seeing the lines of ink, your heart tried to beat its way of your chest. You convinced yourself it was the words and the words only. It had nothing to do with the fact you peaked a patch of skin you hadn’t before. It wasn’t that you could see his muscles shift. Nope.

Your mouth also didn’t feel like watering; that would be embarrassing. And inappropriate.

You really hoped Steve would think that the heat in your cheeks was caused by seeing an evidence of your perfect human skills showing when meeting him for the first and the second time (for the first time but the second time?).

You cleared your throat awkwardly and lowered your gaze.

“Uh-uh. You told me you were hoping to meet me at very late age, because otherwise would be weird. Not ideal either,” he remarked and once again, he was right of course. After all, you remembered the confusion it caused when you had been trying to figure out what it meant. “But I’m getting ahead of myself. Both yours and my words actually have perfect explanation.”

You hummed, encouraging him to continue, taking a cookie.

Which was a mistake. Like, a real fucking mistake.

Because they weren’t sugar cookies. They were peanut butter, you knew that much even though not being sure how.

And you very quickly understood that you loved peanut butter cookies. You almost choked on the heaven that exploded in your mouth.

Steve raised a questioning eyebrow, but the way he bit his cheek gave him away. He knew exactly what he was doing.

You pointed an accusing finger on him, earning a sheepish chuckle and a confession. “I was hopeful.”

“Uh-um. Good call. I honestly know like five people by their name so far, but you are quickly becoming my favourite,” you joked, turning horrified a second later.

How did you make fun of your amnesia?

Steve stiffened too, but he was fast to recover. He breathed in shakily, catching your gaze, his suddenly serious eyes boring into yours.

“Look, I know… this must be really hard for you, but… if you let me, if you let me,” he emphasized, the blue with just a drop of green of his eyes calming and sincere, “I’ll help you. We contact your family, your friends, we tell you everything we know. We help you to explore what you like and what you don’t and… and if it’s different from what you liked before, that’s fine. These are… stupid cookies, but they made me think. You just met me, I’m aware, but I want to be there for you. If you let me, I will.”

You watched him breathless, absolutely taken aback by the honest aura around him. He meant every word. You barely registered that he took your hands into his again, too busy processing what he was saying, moved to tears. How much kindness and strength this man carried? How was he even real?

“Someone… something up there might be offering me a chance to fix what I messed up so badly, but it’s not guilt why I’d wish to be with you, I promise. I like you. You’ve just met me, but I already know you’re amazing. If there is a chance that maybe… maybe you could like me too, I’ll do everything to prove to you that I could be worthy of carrying the soulmark linking me to-- oh god, please don’t cry.”

You blinked, realizing that silent tears indeed started rolling down your cheeks. You stopped thinking.

You freed your hands of his hold, catching a glimpse of panic in his expression at that and then you couldn’t see his face, because you attacked him, throwing your arms around his neck, making him sway hazardously. You had a hunch that he wouldn’t have even flinched in any other case, the solid wall of muscle he was, but you took him by surprise.

The moment he steadied you both, his shaking hand went to rest flat on your lower back, his other arm curling around you in what could only feel like protectiveness. He held you a bit tighter than was decent, a barely contained tremble in his embrace. It might have even been a little painful, being squished like that, but you weren’t about to complain.

“Oh sweetheart,” he whispered softly, lowering his head to nuzzle in your hair slowly, as if he was afraid you’d withdraw with that action.

Not fucking happening.  

This felt familiar.

It felt like scratching an itch you weren’t quite aware of having ever since you had woken up from the dream called Death.

It felt right.

Which made you cry harder, ironically enough. You were a mess of a woman, happy tears mixing with those of regret and shame, but Steve still held you, steadily now, his doll and sweetheart, and you felt warm and comfy and safe, pleasant sensation curling around your heart like a fluffy blanket.

“You’re already doing it,” you murmured into the fabric of his top, already damp with your tears.

“What was that?”

Why did he sound apologetic for such petty thing like not catching what you were trying to mumble, when he was being the rock to your emotional raging sea?

You cleared your throat, this time taking care to articulate like an actual human being. “You’re already doing it, Steve. You’re so nice to me, so considerate and I’m such a mess. Keep this up and I’m not gonna think but know I don’t deser-“

He squeezed you tighter in what felt like a warning and you realized that once more, you were being ridiculous. This wasn’t a competition. And if you were self-conscious about being Steve’s soulmate, worrying you might not be enough with what a mess you were, well, he didn’t need to know. God knew he probably felt the same, his past choices haunting him.

“Just… thank you, Steve. I couldn’t wish for a more amazing soulmate,” you said honestly and when he pulled you closer after that statement despite you not thinking it was possible, you sensed his gratitude.

You stayed in his comfortable embrace for a while, just breathing in, wrapped in a somehow soothing scent.

A giggle escaped you when you realized what exactly Steve must smell.

“What?” he muttered lazily, clearly enjoying the proximity as much as you were – hell, probably more, because this could be what he was used to.

“Just wondering what it’s like to be hugging a girl who smells like men’s shampoo.”

His body shook with hushed laughter in response and he eased his embrace, retreating enough to look at your still damp face. He dared to fix your hair a bit with his gentle fingers, smiling sadly.

“It’s about as surreal as seeing you in plaid,” he remarked, sparkles in his eyes, and you had to admit that yes, your choice of clothing didn’t quite suit you. This couldn’t be your usual wardrobe. “But if this is gonna be the new you, I’ll take it. I meant what I said. It really doesn’t matter what you wear or smell like, though maybe next time I’ll just lend you my things instead. I like it. I like you.”

No. Don’t. It would be really awkward to start crying again. Stop that. Nope- don’t you dare…. You closed your eyes and breathed through the burning sensation in your eyes and rather focused on the pleasant warmth pooling in your chest.

“Steve, stop turning me into a puddle of jello. You’re laying it on a bit thick here,” you whispered, mentally begging him not to stop.

He was so sweet.

And apparently was a little shit too, because the corners of his lips twitched.

“Sorry. Can’t seem to help it.”

You couldn’t but roll your eyes at the cheekiness somehow tangled in flirtation and absolute seriousness.

“It’s… not bad,” you assured him, feeling a bit self-conscious under his intent gaze. “I guess I’m just apologizing in advance if I’m not… responding the way you would wish or you’re used to. I know you said you’d take what you can get, but still—“ Upon seeing the silent warning in his eyes, you pressed your lips together to contain the babble threatening to spill out again. “Okay, shutting up now. Tell me about how exactly we met.”

“Uh-um.”

“Can we stay like this though? Please?”

You looked up at him, hopeful, your heart skipping a pleased beat as he allowed you to nestle into a less neck-breaking position, letting you to lean onto his shoulder as his lips slowly curled up in a spine-melting smile. He made space for you by moving his arm on the backrest, allowing you to rest rather against his chest than shoulder.

Yep, this was it. This was your new favourite place… your only favourite place? Never mind.  

“Only if you have another cookie and finish your tea,” he teased, his fingers daring to tickle your arm lightly.

“Hard bargain, Captain,” you chuckled, but obediently reached for not one, but two cookies, offering the other to him.

He accepted it with a smile. “Deal with it.”

“Oh, gladly. Now spill…”

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Steve talked for a long time, smoothly moving to different stories of you two after the meet-cute; and there was no mistaking it, it had been a meet-cute, sweet and a little embarrassing.

His narrative was surprisingly detailed – he remembered what the weather was like, what you were wearing, little things about Ryan, who was apparently your best friend. It should sadden you, all the things you forgot, but with the way he was talking it was as if you were there.

Simultaneously, the sharpness of his memories broke your heart – it only showed just how important those moments were to him. And you knew nothing of them.

Despite being intrigued by the stories and curious about what Steve had to say, you soon found yourself dozing off. You blamed the strange familiarity, Steve’s soothing timbre and the gentle warm embrace that instinctively made you feel safe and at home. You didn’t think he realized he started rubbing your arm in tender periodic motions, slipping into what he actually knew – unlike you – way too easily.

“Steve, should I send the Winchesters who brought her here to a hotel for the day?” a low voice asked, sounding from too much of a distance for you to bother opening your eyes.

“Unless Tony lets them stay. Tell them we’ll pay all of their expenses and not to worry about her. I promise to take care of her and not to let her out of my sight,” an equally hushed voice replied.

“As you wish.”

Your body felt too heavy, yet like belonging to someone else, your mind floating above it. You couldn’t move. You felt the change as you were being moved, warmth of another body replaced by soft cushions and a thick blanket smelling of comfort and home was tucked around you. A soft brush against your forehead and a light weight over the comforter in one particular spot on your arm.

“They don’t seem assured, Steve. They say they’ll wait for you so you could talk.”

“Okay. Thanks for letting me know, Jarvis. I’ll see them in a minute.”

You were far too gone into the dreamland to know just how long Steve sat beside you on the mattress, his hand on you to make sure you were truly here in his bed, no matter how little you remembered, silent tears of happiness and a pained smile never leaving his face.

You were only aware of your dreams being sweet, tasting of peanut butter and cherry flavoured black tea.

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Steve was a bundle of nerves and heavy emotions by the time he finally forced himself to leave her bedside. It was one of the hardest things he ever had to do – both leaving her and spending the better part of the afternoon and evening with her.

He was… less cautious than he should have been from the very moment she walked into his room with Natasha at her heels, he was aware of that, but just seeing a person that looked exactly like her to very last freckle on the side of her neck was like a punch to his solar plexus; seeing her walking, talking and breathing was making his chest ache and as much as he wanted to believe from the start, he forced himself to be just a tiny bit cautious.

It all went out of the window the moment she said the words written on his collarbone. She was alive. His beautiful, sweet soulmate was alive and well, and nearly perfect.

Steve knew it was profane and that he should be grateful for such miracle; he was, God, how grateful he was and he was willing to do everything if it only meant she would stay, but meeting with her gaze, still admiring and curious, but not adoring as it used to be, not so full of tender love, because she had no real memory of him, broke his heart to tiniest pieces, shattered it just like he did to the mirror when finding his new words.

She didn’t remember him. He was her soulmate to her still – but a stranger. When she threw herself around his neck eventually, the sensation was as bitter as sweet. Steve belonged to her – he was so entirely hers with every bit of his very being – but she wasn’t his.

It made him swallow thickly as he leaned onto the wall by the door to his room, unable to summon the strength to deal with the men who had brought her back to him.

He was honestly grateful – beyond words, actually – and his actions towards her were genuine, every word true, every single of his smiles, her presence truly making him happy, but by God, there was a lot of pain he had to swallow whenever she asked him something about them and he was confronted with her amnesia once more.

Confronted with him being nothing to her.

Steve didn’t know how long it took him to actually emerge from his position, his eyes burning with fresh tears, but when he entered the common room and a snarky male voice welcomed him, he knew it was longer than it should have.

“Well, look who it is. The great man himself,” the shorter man of whom Steve assumed was Dean exclaimed and it caused both the other hunter – Sam, Steve recalled – and Bruce, who kept the brothers company, massage the bridge of their nose tiredly.

Steve sighed and nodded politely as the brothers stood up from the couch. Bruce had clearly dined them with a take-out judging by the boxes on the table, which Steve was grateful for. He mentally noted to thank his friend later.

“Dean Winchester, I presume,” he croaked, wincing and clearing his throat at the pathetic sound it released.

The sandy-haired man quirked up. “I see my reputation precedes me. Good. Because, you see, I’m a big fan. Really. You’re doing an A+ plus work, most of the time. But something happens to Nat--- ugh, you know who I mean – on your watch again, I’ll find you, skin you and make sure your soul never finds rest.”

“Dean…”

Steve only nodded at the threat, ignoring the scolding look the taller hunter gave his brother.

“What he meant to say was: nice to meet you, I hope it went well. She… uhm, she is your soulmate, right? You exchanged the right words?” Sam asked kindly, his eyes compassionate and inviting.

Steve smiled tightly, ignoring the knot in his stomach and deliberately passed on the unspoken question if it did go well. He assumed it had, but… well.

“Yes,” he whispered softly, offering the man a hand to shake, which was instantly accepted. “We did. Thank you for bringing her here. Keeping her safe. Taking care of her. I already asked Jarvis – we’ll make sure to pay any expanses-“

“Alright, stop with the speech, Captain. We did what he had to – what we wanted to. She’s a good kid. She deserves the best, though she wasn’t always willing to accept that as a fact. If you want to help guys with little money, that would be nice. But we’re not bounty hunters or some shit. You’re not paying us for her,” Dean stated, sending a white lightning of rage though Steve’s body at his implication.

She was not a merchandise to order and have delivered. She was a human being. Steve was very much aware of that.

He took a deep breath to tell the man what an inappropriate comment he had made. “Mr. Winchester-“

“Oh god, don’t ever call me that again. And relax. Please. I’m not totally serious. Calm your tits.”

“Captain Rogers, I apologize for my Neanderthal of a brother. He grew rather protective of your soulmate as did I. I assume she’s asleep-“ Sam interjected again with his diplomatic talk and Steve forced the indignation aside, trying to remember he was beyond grateful. He only nodded once more. “Good. We thought to stay in town in case she needed anything. We left a small bag for her, but she doesn’t have much, she’s modest. Had a little trouble eating, worrying about spending our money. Please, make sure she eats.”

A sharp pang hit Steve’s chest when hearing another implication of her doubting her worth. He had a lot of work to do. He was going to spoil her. So much. As much as she let him and just a tiny bit more. She always seemed to have a weak spot in the form of his pleading eyes, she was a pleaser and Steve would be very much pleased to give her everything. All of his things, all of him.

“Thank you for telling me. I’ll look out for that. Hopefully, she’ll let me.”

“Good. You do that. She just needs a little push sometimes,” the older brother smirked and finally shook Steve’s hand too, possibly going for tighter grip than necessary. Good tactics that didn’t quite work on a supersoldier, but Steve met his gaze to hint him he received his message again clearly.

Hurt her and you’re a dead man.  

Steve felt the same about everyone.

“Now, she has our number and we should probably hit the hay. Before we leave though…” Dean hesitated and the sudden lack of snark surprised even Bruce, who released his head from his hands as he had rested his elbows on his knees, sitting on the couch, embarrassed for their guests; he looked up curiously as Dean continued.

“Can I have an autograph? I really am a huge fan…. And I’d love to touch the shield.”

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Part 17

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Thank you for reading, lovlies, and if you happen to leave ♥ or/and comments, reblog... thank you for that too :-*

[sayyestomi]

can’t fight this feeling

a/n:i thought of this ship awhile ago so i got hyperfixated and wrote a lot enjoy 

duckie dale and marty mcfly had been best friends since 4th grade, when marty moved to elgin. they bonded over drawing weird things and having goofy inside jokes. they even had their own made up language. duckie was constantly at marty’s house playing and having fun with him. duckie slept over a lot. marty didn’t mind. he really liked having duckie around. sometimes duckie slept in marty’s bed when he was having nightmares so marty would just hold him and tell him about a comic book he read.

duckie and marty were pretty good friends with andie. duckie was closer to her but marty didn’t mind. he liked their little friend group. but in 8th grade, duckie caught feelings for andie. marty was starting to get left behind. duckie would start forgetting to invite marty to hang out with him. marty could never figure out why he couldn’t like andie like duckie did, or even girls at all. he had a small fling with jennifer parker but it didn’t work out.

senior year was the worst year of it all. duckie was still in love with andie but marty was in love with duckie. and it crushed him because it took him so long to come to terms with himself and he couldn’t even tell him how he felt. marty was a little relieved that andie didn’t like duckie back, but it pained him seeing his best friend so upset. duckie and marty still sat together at lunch but andie sat with another girl at a different table. marty kinda missed her but duckie thought it was a perfect time to scheme up a plan to get andie.

andie liked this guy named blane. now blaine was very pretty, at least marty thought so. duckie hated blane, with a burning passion. blane was one of the rich kids but he was actually really nice. every day at lunch, duckie would plot on how to get rid of this guy. marty understood, it was starting to become clearer when he started thinking of ways to get rid of andie. now marty still loved andie like a sister but duckie was letting her get to his head.

duckie was a mess. he didn’t even really like andie the way he thought he did. but he couldn’t help but like her. his jealousy was at his worst when marty was with jennifer parker. he absolutely hated her. more than he could ever hate blane. he was relieved when her and marty broke up. he still couldn’t figure out why he was so jealous when girls would flirt with marty. he’d spent sleepless nights trying to practice confessing to andie how he felt. he couldn’t seem to get it right. one night he decided to replace andie with marty and it felt more natural. if that felt natural, maybe practicing kissing on marty would feel natural too.

duckie asked marty if he could come over. marty eagerly agreed since he missed duckie hanging out with him outside of their lunch table. duckie just went home with marty and they went up to marty’s room.

“marty, can i, uh, ask you something?” duckie asked nervously, scratching the back of his head.

“yeah of course! what’s up?” marty beamed, looking up from one of his textbooks.

“can you do me a favor and let me practice kissing on you?”

“sure i guess.” marty shrugged.

duckie moved closer to marty, just admiring the other boy for a moment. a lot of feelings came in that moment but he just ignored them. he cupped marty’s cheek in his hand, pulling his face close. he took a deep breath and closed the small gap between their lips. both of them instantly melting like ice cream on a hot brownie. duckie snaked his hand up to play with marty’s hair. marty gripped onto duckie’s shirt as he deepened their kiss. their little heaven was interrupted when duckie shoved marty off.

“i gotta go home. i’ll see you at school tomorrow.” duckie breathed out, packing up his stuff before practically rushing out of the mcfly house.

marty was breathless as he just tried to process what just happened. he flopped back on his bed and just daydreamed about kissing duckie as many times as he wanted to. he knew it was only a daydream since that kiss was for practice so duckie could kiss andie. marty didn’t want duckie to kiss andie. he wanted duckie to kiss him.

prom season rolled around. marty had been asked a few times but he politely declined since he wanted to go with duckie, like he did every other school dance. he was hoping his thing with andie would wear off. it didn’t. marty witnessed blane and andie fighting. he didn’t know what to do about duckie, but right now andie needed a shoulder to cry on. after blane left, marty went over and just gave her a hug.

“thanks marty,” andie murmured, “would you want to take me to the prom? not as boyfriend and girlfriend but as friends.”

marty just sighed and pulled away from the hug. he grabbed andie’s shoulders and looked her straight in the eye. “andie, i would love to take you to the prom, but there’s a boy i know who would love to take you to the prom more than anyone else in the whole wide world.”

“who?”

“duckie dale.”

“i figured you’d say that. but i’m actually considering it now.”

“ask him. because i know damn well he won’t ask you,” marty chuckled.

“i’ll call him later tonight. thanks marty i owe you one.” andie kissed marty’s cheek before going to her next class.

later that night, andie did in fact call duckie that night. all while marty was in his room feeling absolutely miserable. his phone rang and he decided to answer it.

“marty she asked me to go to the prom with her! i am going to the prom with andie!!” marty could feel duckie’s big smile through the phone. he could also feel his heart drop to his stomach.

“earth to marty are ya still there?” duckie giggled.

“yeah, yeah i’m still here.” marty murmured, fiddling with the pencil in his hand.

“is something wrong?”

“no i’m just not feeling all that great tonight. i’ll talk to you at school tomorrow maybe.”

“wait marty don’t hang up yet. i need to ask you something.”

“what is it?”

“are you going to prom this weekend?”

“maybe. i don’t know yet. why?”

“i dunno. maybe you could hang out with andie and i if you went.”

“duckie i really gotta go. goodnight.” marty quickly hung up the phone before duckie could get another word out. hot tears streamed down his face as he buried his face into a pillow, just quietly sobbing.

duckie didn’t understand why marty was so quick to hang up. usually they’d be on the phone for hours. but ever since he started liking andie their friendship was kind of off. he missed marty a lot. he didn’t wanna lose him over some stupid girl. andie wasn’t just some stupid girl, at least not to him. marty knew him and andie had been closer but marty didn’t care. duckie understood why marty wouldn’t wanna hang out anymore if all he was gonna do was talk about andie.

prom was finally here. marty’s bandmates had convinced him to play so he just took up on the offer. he wore a dress jacket with a plain white tee, a pair of jeans, and a red tie. eventually the jacket and the tie came off since it was getting hot in the auditorium. he just so happened to look up right when duckie and andie were coming in. marty stepped back and gave his bandmates a cue. the music started to slow and the lights dimmed. marty stepped up to the mic.

“this is for that special someone i should’ve confessed to a long time ago.” marty said with a small smile before stepping back.

the keyboard started and soon enough marty was back up at the mic. “i can’t fight this feeling any longer. and yet i’m still afraid to let it flow. what started out as friendship has grown stronger...” he sang.

by now andie was off dancing with blane, as she should’ve been in the first place. duckie was just staring at the stage as he just watched marty, still trying to figure out who that special someone he was talking about was.

“and i can’t fight this feeling anymore. i’ve forgotten what i started fighting for…” marty realized duckie still wasn’t getting the hint so when the song was over, the band took a break and let the dj take over the music.

marty set his guitar down and went over to duckie. duckie was over by the bleachers by himself but immediately perked up when marty came around.

“so who was that special someone you were talking about up there?” duckie asked.

“it was you duckie.”

“you’re joking.”

“nope. i’ve liked you for a long time. just couldn’t find the words or the courage until tonight. now let’s go outside. i wanna do something.” marty got up and grabbed duckie’s hand, dragging him outside. duckie’s face was a bright pink as marty led him to the side of the school where no one could see them. marty pulled duckie into a deep kiss. they immediately melted, just like the first time they kissed. the kiss was longer than the first time. more enjoyable too now that they didn’t have to worry about andie. marty was the first one to pull away.

“i love you duckie dale.”

“i love you too marty mcfly.”

[jisungsmochi]

not my boyfriend - na jaemin

sort of based off the ariana grande song ‘boyfriend, but also sorta based off this post soo yah. 

summary: it was just harmless fun, until feelings got involved and emotions were in whirl wind. but he wasn’t your boyfriend, despite how badly you wanted him to be. you wanted to cherish moments in life, but na jaemin challenged the nature of these moments. 

lots of mentions of making out (i’m an innocent baby so no suggestive stuff hehe) some angst, ALOT OF FLUFF WOOO

words: 6.5k (oh she long long i’m so sorry its probably poorly written and there’s probably some mistakes woops) 

p.s: please feel free to send in requests because i honestly can’t think of many ideas hehe. now enjoy this imagine!! 

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it was one stupid mistake. a mistake that led to one of the most confusing situations of your life. a harmless game of seven minutes in heaven, at lee jeno’s 18th birthday party, involved you, and acquaintance, na jaemin, making out for four of those minutes.

once the bottle head landed towards you, your eyes widened in shock. not because you didn’t want to play the game, but because of who had spun the bottle. jaemin smirked, his eyes landing on you.

“shall we?, i mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to” he shrugged, playing it off.

“of course she has to! it’s no fun if she backs out of it!” haechan grumbled, everyone ignoring his comment due to his drunk demeanour.

you rolled your eyes at the drunk boy, slightly shoving him so that he fell to his side. you stood up, jaemin following your actions as you both moved to the closet under jeno’s staircase.

once you both had situated yourselves in the closet, you decided to start small talk.

“pretty romantic huh?” you joked, watching as he fiddled with the sleeves of his denim jacket.

“uh yeah i guess” he furrowed his eyebrows at you, not breaking eye contact.

“so are we actually going to do this?” you didn’t mean to come off as nervous, but how could you not?

na jaemin was arguably one of the most popular boys in the grade, and you were locked in this closet, with six minutes left on the clock.

you two used to be friends, of some sort during primary school, but drifted due to difference in cliques. you both silently had each other’s backs, always waving or just smiling at eachother in the hallways. but this was all new to you. so what if you kissed him? would things even change?

“we don’t have much time, i’m just going to kiss you, and you can choose to continue, alright?” jaemin stepped closer to you, supporting your sides as your back leaned against the wall. you didn’t know where this sudden burst of confidence came from but your heart beat wasn’t slowing down anytime soon. you nodded slowly, his hands reached to cup the side of your face. his lips lingering slightly, before flashing you another smirk and pressing your lips together. your hands instinctively reached for his shoulders, giving them a slight squeeze, before he pulled away abruptly.

you needed a moment to process what just had happened mere seconds ago. you wanted to kiss him again, the remaining 5 minutes wasn’t enough. you pulled his shoulders closer, his lips landing on your again, as you continued what he had started. it was messy, but it felt good, you couldn’t deny it. his hands roamed your sides as you played with his hair. you didn’t want it to stop.

a knock on the door interrupted you two,

“1 minute to go!”

you both pulled away, trying to regain some sense of what had just occurred.

“i uh, that was, really good” you muttered, wiping at the sides of your mouth.

“yeah it was, i would like to do it again sometime” he spoke barely above a whisper.

“wait what? do you like me or something?” god you felt so stupid, after his reply.

“uh no, but i like the way you kiss me. it’s kinda hot. if you ever want to do it again, just hit me up. kinda like friends with benefits, but not with the actual sexual acts” he came closer to you, his hand stroking your hair softly.

his proposition went against all of your morals as a person. why would you make out with someone you aren’t dating? it was so bizarre. you couldn’t wrap your head around it.

“so what you’re saying is that, we can make out and stuff but we aren’t going to be boyfriend and girlfriend?” you needed to clarify, incase this was some weird prank.

“yeah pretty much, i think you’re cute and all but i’m just not into that whole dating thing.” he shrugged before continuing “how about this, meet me at the back gates after school on tuesday, if you have thought it over and agree”

you bit your lip consciously. he was giving you a choice.

“and times up!!” jeno opened the door, eyes landing on the awkward position of you leaning against the wall with jaemin folding his arms and smirking.

“think about it, i kinda hope you say yes” jaemin turned to you before shooting you a smile and walking to join the rest of the group. he left you struck with confusion.

what has he done?

later that night when you were in bed, your mind drifted to that moment. the more you thought about it, you realised that jaemin hasn’t actually been in a serious relationship. he did have one last year but, it was clearly one sided, leaving the poor girl in shattered pieces. jaemin wasn’t completely heartless, from what you were aware of, he was just unable to commit to anything really. he wasn’t a bad person, at least, you truly hoped he wasn’t. if you were to agree to his bizarre proposition, how would that reflect you as a person? you continued to think to yourself, what if people found out? would that affect both of your reputations? and the final question that kept occurring, would you end up falling for him?

you still weren’t sure if this was a risk you were willing to take. so on the next monday, the day before you were to tell him if you had agreed, you tried to approach him, to test the extent of your classmate relationship. he was standing alone, leaning against a wall outside of a classroom. you debated whether or not to approach him, or just walk past smoothly and see if he approached you instead. you decided to go with the first option as the second seemed to be a bit of a stretch.

“hey! jaemin” you smiled at him widely, watching as he looked up from his phone and slid it into his jacket pocket.

“oh hey y/n, how are you?” he politely spoke, crossing his arms while shooting you a small grin.

“i’m good, uh are you waiting for someone?” you leaned over his shoulder to see inside the classroom.

“ah yeah, jeno is asking some questions and is taking longer than expected. at this rate he may as well just stay there for the whole lunch break” jaemin rolled his eyes.

you nodded, unsure of how to continue. you really didn’t think this through that well.

“not to be rude, but why are you talking to me right now? i mean, we haven’t spoken to eachother at school since like, the eighth grade” he chuckled softly, causing you to become speechless. how were you meant to say that you wanted to bait him into talking to you before you confirmed your crazy decision to agree to being his secret kissing buddy?

“oh yeah i know, i just uh, since the party and everything i thought we should just start talking again. if that’s okay with you” you avoided giving him eye contact, opting to stare at his shoes, which were quite clean with barely any marks.

“that’s okay with me, considering we will be spending a lot of time alone, right?” his words caught you off guard. were you being too obvious? too desperate?

“uhh what do you mean by that?” you played along, feeling the heat in your cheeks rise.

“you know what i mean, the deal still stands. tomorrow. back gates. hope to see you” he winks before, as if on cue, jeno bursts out of the classroom.

“why do we need to use geometry? it’s pointless” he groans before noticing you.

“oh hi y/n! wanna join us for lunch?” he smiled at you softly.

“it’s okay, thank you for the offer, bye guys!” you quickly blurted before turning and walking away swiftly. damn na jaemin and his good charisma. it almost sealed the deal.

the end of school on tuesday, signalled a moment of uneasiness for you. after placing your books into your bag, you made your way through the halls. many students rushing to get home, but you, were debating on where to go. as you trailed to the back exit of the school, your heart was pounding. you didn’t want to regret anything in your life, but this was a massive gamble. it would have been safe to say that when you were kids, you did have a silly crush on jaemin. but that came naturally, almost every girl in your fifth grade class had a crush on him. he was grown now. taller, more reserved, more handsome. you did want to kiss him again. you really did. but was it worth all of this?

jaemin’s figure came in sight, he was tapping away on his phone, probably playing some mobile game. he didn’t notice you initially until you were centimetres away from him.

“you scared me” he jolted back a bit before letting out a soft chuckle. he locked his phone before making eye contact with you.

“i’m assuming you’ve thought it over” he got straight to the point. you clearly weren’t the only one thinking about it.

“yeah, i have. and, i do want to take you up on the offer” you began, feeling anxious on his response. “but not without some concerns!” you avoided looking at him, but still felt his eyes focused on you.

“we can only make out in private, given that you don’t want it to seem we’re in a relationship and all” you began, looking over at him to make sure he was listening. he nodded gently at your words, waiting for you to continue.

“and i guess, just, don’t hurt me. if you don’t want to continue with this, please tell me. i really don’t want to feel used, so also respect my decisions on how this goes as well! because you can’t be the only one who dictates everyt-“

your eyes widened, your posture stiffened as jaemin smashed his lips onto yours. he pulled away instantly, watching as you stared in shock.

“you talk way too much” he mumbled, face still close to yours.

“well, that’s a good way to keep me quiet” you almost whimpered, shocked at how he had so much power over you. yet, you enjoyed every second of it. you decided to kiss him back this time, repeating the exact actions as previously in the closet.

what have you gotten yourself into?

after that day, jaemin started hanging around you at school more. it wasn’t too often that people would suspect you two were a thing, but enough for them to acknowledge that you were friends. you both had haechan as a mutual friend. he was surprised to see both you and jaemin conversing next to your locker.

“yeah honestly i don’t like going to the soccer games but the boys make me go because jeno is playing” jaemin starts ranting to you, causing you to laugh in response.

suddenly haechan approaches, you noticed, rolling your eyes awaiting some sort of teasing from him.

“well what do we have here? jaemin and y/n actually becoming friends?” he lightly joked, shoving both of your shoulders.

“yeah very funny” you groaned before crossing your arms.

“didn’t you know? y/n were hella tight back in the day, right?” jaemin fed off of haechan’s comedic energy, making you softly smile.

“that’s right, i remember when you forgot your swimmers at home at my pool party in the 5th grade so you had to wear your undies” you let out a loud chuckle, causing haechan to also laugh, whilst pointing at jaemin.

to your surprise, jaemin also let out a small chuckle, running a hand through his hair “ah yes, one of my proudest moments, you forgot to mention that your best friend also confessed to me on that day” he retaliated back, damn he was good. haechan also laughed in response to his words,

 “you two are hilarious, i’m glad we can all hang out now! y/n, come to jeno  soccer game this friday! let jaemin pick you up since you guys are now besties” haechan insisted. you shot your eyes to jaemin.

“yeah sounds good” jaemin complied, resulting in haechan to nod in response before bidding a goodbye and running off to get food.

“i thought you said you didn’t like going to his games?” you turned to jaemin who was fiddling with his sleeves.

“uh yeah, well i mean, maybe it’s time to change. might also give us an excuse to make out”. this would be one of the first times you would make out, outside of school, it was an understatement to say you were looking forward to friday.

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“y/n! someone is here to see you!” your brother, chenle, yelled from the front door. he was slightly pissed off due to being interrupted from his video game. you rushed to the door, bidding a quick goodbye to your brother, telling him that you’ll bring him back a corn dog or something. jaemin smiled at you in awe, but quickly masked it with asking you,

“do you know much about soccer?”

you contemplated for a moment before answering, “i guess the basics, sometimes chenle watches it on tv but he usually watches basketball”

jaemin watches you with every word, not realising you both had reached his car. he shook himself out of his short daze and opened the door for you to enter the passenger side, he wasn’t sure why he did it. usually he would let people just open the door for themselves, but he just wanted to do this for you.

once he entered the car, he looked at you, giving you a small smile before leaning in. your heart was pounding, you knew what was coming. he placed his lips on yours like he had many time before, pulling away after a short five seconds. you smiled into the kiss, pulling him back which made him let out a small giggle that just made your heart flutter.

“hey we can’t get carried away, jeno will be grumpy if we show up late!” jaemin muttered, before starting the car. he always seemed to be the one changing the subject, but you didn’t mind, there would plenty of opportunities for you both to continue.

it was half time of the game, haechan and renjun went to the bathroom and grab some food, leaving you and jaemin alone. it was fairly cold that night, which you didn’t expect, as you wore a large grey hoodie and some shorts. jaemin had placed his jacket into your lap, making you blush.

“come with me” jaemin whispered in your ear, sending a small shiver down your spine. he grabbed your wrist gently, leading you towards the car park. you learn against the back of his car, as he began kissing your cheeks. you softly giggled, interrupting him,

“it’s getting cold, put this back on” you referred to his jacket in which he complied. after putting his jacket on, you grabbed the collar of the jacket and pulled him towards you.

“nice move” he mumbled, not wasting time as he leaned in. your hands were tangled in his hair, his hands placed at the top of your hips, slightly rubbing your sides. your back started to ache due to the pressure of being pressed against the car but you didn’t really care at this moment. your head moved to the right as did he, everything just fit in place. he pulled away momentarily, placing his forehead on yours,

“god you’re so pretty”

your mouth opened, a wave of surprise taking over you. he hadn’t really complimented you before, nonetheless look so deeply into your eyes whilst saying such sweet words.

before you could even have a chance to respond, he pulled you close to him, stroking your hair softly.

“let’s get back, the others might be suspicious” he whispered, letting your arms slowly intertwine, as you walked back to the bleachers. na jaemin was gorgeous. confusing. yet, he was the only person that could have ever made you enjoy this situation.

a few weeks had passed since the soccer game. you and jaemin weren’t talking as much as you had hoped, but there was plenty of kissing involved.

he had began to be more touchy with you, which you didn’t mind at all, but it always led you to believe there was something more, until you were hit with reality.

haechan’s birthday party was coming up soon, and you were pretty excited. you were hoping there would be another game of seven minutes in heaven, only with jaemin. he told you that he would pick you up once again, in which you honestly didn’t have any other choice. you were finishing up putting on your shoes, when jaemin rang your doorbell. you opened the door, rather too quickly, causing the corner to hit your toe. you groaned in pain, causing you to fall forward, resulting in jaemin holding you up.

“i’m so clumsy, sorry” your face flushed a bright red shade, jaemin smirking at your adorable reaction. you closed the door behind you before jaemin wrapped his arm around your shoulders. you couldn’t deny the ecstatic feeling you got when jaemin was affectionate with you in the slightest ways. from simple hand holding, when no one was looking, to small brushes of your elbows, any sort of contact made your heart swoon. 

you both arrived at the party, feeling many eyes on you two. jaemin still had his arm wrapped around your shoulders, leading you into haechan’s house which was already a mess. he led you both to the kitchen, where jeno was furiously shoving people away from him in order to grab some water.

“oh there you guys are! i’ve lost haechan, he’s gone wild!” jeno panted, before sipping from the water bottle he tried so hard to obtain.

“ehh he’s probably having the time of his life” jaemin shrugged, moving his hand down to attach to your waist. this caught jeno’s attention, causing him to cough awkwardly.

“i’m gonna go find him, incase he’s throwing up somewhere, have fun you guys” he smiled brightly before rushing off. jaemin pulled you closer to him, his back leaning against the side of the counter with you standing in between his legs. he tangled your fingers together, holding onto them gently.

“why are you suddenly being so soft huh?” you decided to tease.

“i mean, i can stop if you want me to” he retaliated, letting go of your hands dramatically. you laughed at his childish ways, before grabbing his hands again. you placed a small kiss on his knuckles, which made his heart stop. he couldn’t deny the feelings he had for you, but things don’t always go his way. he’d rather have you as just a temporary thing, than someone he had to commit to, putting him at risk of jeopardising the relationship. you stared up at him, watching as he rubbed you surface of your hands so softly. he brought one of his hands to cup your cheek, before leaning in and giving you a soft kiss. you were going to continue, when suddenly haechan came up to you guys, clearly drunk.

“come upstairs, we’re gonna play spin the bottle”

you looked over at jaemin who just raised an eyebrow before guiding you along with him to go upstairs.

to avoid any more suspicions from people at the party on the status of you and jaemin, you both decided to sit at opposite sides of the circle. jeno sat next to you and renjun was on your other side.

haechan span the bottle first, as expected of the birthday boy, landing on the class president, siyeon. it was an unspoken rumour that they had a thing, but never really acted on it, until now. siyeon made her way over to haechan before smashing her lips on his, catching him off guard. everyone just ended up clapping, as they both made their moves.

next it was jaemin’s turn to spin. you were internally praying it would land on you. the bottle span so slowly in your mind, frustrating you as you were curious of the outcome. it finally came to a halt, but to your loss, it landed on nayoung. she wasn’t just any girl. she was the girl who his friends always thought he would end up with. his ideal girl, subjectively. before you and jaemin started your thing, you always saw him and nayoung around school together. rumours always spurred that they were dating but nothing more came from it. so when you were seated there, as jaemin leaned to kiss her. you felt a small fraction of your heart crack. you watched as her arms wrapped around his neck, just like how yours did mere minutes ago. you watched as his continued kissing her as if he couldn’t stop. but then you realised. you two weren’t serious. this whole agreement wasn’t meant to make you feel hurt like this. you weren’t meant to get jealous. you weren’t meant to feel like you were literally going to have an emotional breakdown. but you just couldn’t detach your emotions from the physical affections of na jaemin. and that was your own fault.

jeno noticed how uncomfortable you had gotten, leading him to tap your shoulder. tears glossed over your eyes, you wiped them away quickly before looking at him.

“do you need some air?” he offered, anything would be better than being here right now. you nodded before getting up from the circle, taking one last look at jaemin who was glaring at jeno, who had put his arm around your shoulder.

jeno led you to the front of the house, and sat with you on haechan’s porch swing.

“you don’t have to answer me but are you okay?” he gave you a solemn look.

you hesitated answering, unsure of what his intentions were but you were so distraught, you needed to blow off some steam.

“i’m not sure to be honest. i want to be okay, but everything in there was too much” you tried to be as vague as possible.

“was it nayoung and jaemin?” you heart ached again. why couldn’t it just stop?

you didn’t want to respond, jeno noticed, deciding not to push any further.

“just so you know. jaemin isn’t as horrible as he seemed up there. yes, what he did, was really unfair to you. and yes, we’ve noticed that you two seem to have some kind of thing going on” jeno let it out to you.

“we don’t have a thing” you denied.

“don’t lie to yourself. there is something there. he would never have brought someone to his friend’s party, with his arm slinging around them.”

you didn’t know what to say back to him. jeno just kept looking at you, searching for some type of reaction.

“well it doesn’t look like there will be anything soon. i’m going to end it. it hurts too much” you merely whispered, tears falling at this point. jeno rubbed your shoulder gently, comforting you in the best way he could.

“you’re never going to tell him how you feel?” he pleaded.

“why would i? i don’t want to deal with rejection. can you just take me home?” you sighed in frustration. jeno decided not to talk about it further and drop you off at home, where you ran to your room and sobbed for the rest of the night.

screw na jaemin.

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unfortunately you had contracted the flu due to being out in the cold for that night without a jacket. you subjected to your mum’s warnings as she continually scolded you on always bringing a jacket. chenle chuckled at your scoldings, causing you to throw a pillow at him, eventually missing each time.

“hey you rat, throw the pillow at me again and i won’t buy you any bubble tea when i come back from school” chenle threatened. you rolled your eyes before groaning, “fine that’s fair, and i would like an earl grey milk tea with pearls thank you very much!” you shouted as he was already one foot out the door. you sighed before scrolling through endless posts on instagram. you stumbled on some photos from haechan’s party, many were just drunk teenagers posing in the most awkward positions you had ever seen.

suddenly, your phone started ringing, an unknown number appearing. you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion before answering.

“hello?” you asked hesitantly.

“hey, is this y/n?” you recognised that voice, it was renjun

“yeah it’s me, what’s up?” you continued, interested in what he had to say.

“there’s something you need to know. since you’re not at school today, you aren’t witnessing the wrath of jaemin. last night after you left, jaemin pretty much beat up jeno, thinking he was trying to hit on you or something. i’m not too sure of the facts. but anyway, jeno is busted up at the moment and jaemin is just treating us guys like trash, can you please tell your boyfriend to come to his senses?” renjun was clearly irritated with the whole situation, as were you. jaemin had never been the violent type in your eyes. sure he presented a ‘dark’ and ‘edgy’ image for himself. but you had never imagined something like this to come from him. also, renjun calling jaemin your boyfriend, had you even more stunned.

“he’s not my boyfriend” you groaned.

“yeah well tell him that, you need to talk to him. i just thought i should tell you so you don’t hear fabricated lies when you come back.” he let out a short sigh at the other end, clearly at a loss for words.

“thank you for telling me, i appreciate it a lot. i’ll talk to jaemin but i can’t guarantee anything” you were being honest. even though jaemin was soft and cuddly around you, didn’t mean he listened to every single one of your concerns. and last night really didn’t help your relationship at all. this was going to be a mission.

when you returned to school, two days after the phone call, jaemin almost immediately walked up to you and pulled you aside. you took a minute to process what had happened.

“uh hi?” it came out more like a question, as you didn’t expect him to even talk to you, especially at school.

“where have you been? you haven’t been at school” he asked you, with a stern tone.

“i had the flu” you shrugged, not sure where this was going.

“why didn’t you message me? i was waiting for you” he slightly pouted , causing you to pout back.

“i’m sorry, we just really need to talk face to face” you admitted. he nodded in return, walking you to his car. you both sat inside of it, memories of that night rushing back to you.

“okay first off, i’m just gonna come clean and tell you that i beat up jeno. i’m not proud of it. i’ve treated the guys like shit because i can’t get myself to apologise. god what’s wrong with me?” he let out, slamming his hands on the dashboard. you remained calm.

“at least you could admit you were at fault. just let the steam cool off before you go and apologise. they don’t deserve to be treated that way. what was it all about anyway?” you hoped he answered truthfully.

“it was about you. i kinda got mad that you and jeno went to talk. i just thought that, he was going to make a move on you or something. and i heard he took you home which just made me even more mad. i don’t know why. i don’t know what came over me” he admitted. he was so vulnerable, so innocent. you didn’t know what to make of it.

“but did you literally forget that you kissed nayoung right in front of me?” you retorted, slightly fed up with his blame on others.

he opened his mouth before closing it again, remaining silent.

“that’s what i thought. jeno was comforting me because i was upset about you kissing her. i know we both said that feelings wouldn’t get involved but quite frankly i can’t help it. every time you hold my hand or kiss me i feel like i’m over the moon. i get so happy when you message me at night to sneak out so we can make out in the back of your car. i get excited when you hold my waist while we walk in public. i like the way you kiss me like there’s no one else in the room. but that night, made me realise how delusional i was. i think we should just end this whole thing. it hasn’t been such a positive experience for the both of us. i’m sorry, jaemin, that i couldn’t detach my emotions from our physical connection. i hope you’re okay with that.” and before he could say anything back, you got out of his car and walked to your first class, tears threatening to spill, but you had to hold it in. why did it have to be like this?  

days and weeks went by with no contact from jaemin. you had checked up on jeno to see if he was doing okay, and he assured you that jaemin had apologised to him and his friends. which only left you. you felt selfish for expecting an apology from jaemin. what did he need to apologise for? you were the one who caught feelings, even when he stated he probably wouldn’t reciprocate them. god you felt so stupid.

you noticed that he didn’t attend many of his classes, specifically the ones you shared together. it made you worried, even though you hated to admit it. but you cared for him. and you weren’t stopping anytime soon.

it the the final soccer game of the season. jeno was pumped for it, and invited you to come and watch. you decided to go, just to spend some time with the rest of the boys. you lowkey wanted jaemin to come, but unfortunately he had told jeno he wasn’t going to attend. you felt slightly disheartened, expecting that maybe, just maybe he would come to see you. but that was you trying to believe in something that didn’t exist.

as you watched the game intensely, haechan and renjun were shouting beside you, cheering for jeno. you laughed at their silly chants and funny faces they were making at him. these were the moments you wanted to cherish. you received a notification at the moment, taking out your phone:

jaemin: meet me in the car park, i’m standing outside of my car. i need to tell you something

you stared at your screen intently, unsure of what to do next. they two boys noticed, worried due to your expression.

“what’s wrong?” renjun asks.

“jaemin wants to talk, he’s here right now” you told them, they looked at eachother then back at you.

“you should talk to him” haechan suggested, renjun nodding along 

“yeah what’s the worse that could happen” they both shrugged. 

you sort of agreed before getting up and saying goodbye to them. you made your way to the car park, heart pounding out of your chest. jaemin came into view, he leaned against his car. his hair was parted to the right, his skin was illuminating under the lamp post, his jacket draped over his shoulders effortlessly. gosh he was stunning. but he wasn’t yours.

“hey” you approached him quietly.

“oh hey” he almost seemed shocked to see you in front of him. it would have been almost three weeks since you had properly spoken.

“what did you want to talk about?” you stepped closer to him, wanting him to hold you in this cold weather, but you were sadly disappointed when he shot you a confused look.

“i think i just need to be honest with you” he sighed, accepting defeat in the battle of his emotions.

“i had a crush on you when we were in primary. you were the only girl that was ballsy enough to invite me to her birthday party, which just made me so happy that, wow, this little girl had some confidence!” he smiled so widely, it made your knees weak.

“i knew i wanted to be friends with you for the longest time. and we did, but then life just got in the way and we never really got to be close. i had always admired you from afar, that sounds so creepy but uh, i just would always pay attention to you in class. and whenever someone spoke badly about you, i was always on their case. i don’t know if it was out of annoyance or the fact that i may have still had a silly crush on you. but there was just something about you that i just wanted to get to know.” at this point he couldn’t look you in the eyes.

“nayoung was just a distraction for me. i sound like such a dick for putting it that way but i just wanted to get her to help me stop thinking about you. i was so cold to you, prior to jeno’s party. when we got chosen to go in the closet i just went out on a whim and hoped that i would be able to kiss you at least once in my lifetime, even if it was in a stuffy closet” you both laughed, you stepped closer to jaemin, making him look you in the eyes.

“and when you agreed to kiss me whenever i wanted and let me hug you and hold your hand, god i thought my heart was going to explode. i tried so hard to put up this front that i didn’t want to commit because well, i was scared. i’m scared of fucking things up with you. i knew it would be my fault that we didn’t work. and look what happened. i fucked up by kissing nayoung, i wanted to prove to myself that i really had fallen for you. i didn’t feel a single spec of a spark with her. but every time i kissed you, it was like, a thousand bolts of electricity shot through me, okay that was hella corny” he chuckled, before resting his hands on top of yours.

“so what i wanted to tell you is that. i’m not scared anymore. the last time you spoke to me just really impacted me. i needed to reevaluate everything as soon as i could. i’m so sorry it took me this long to finally apologise to you. but i am so sorry for hurting you. that was the last thing i wanted to do. but i wouldn’t take back what i did, because it wouldn’t have led me to this moment. y/n, i have fallen for you. pretty damn hard. you’ve made me cry, made me jealous and made me even beat up my best friend. i’m so crazy for you and i just want you to still feel that for me. do you?” he stared into your eyes with such vulnerability and fragility. you rested your palm to his cheek, wiping away a single tear that shed from his eye. you nodded a bit too aggressively.

“who said i ever stopped?” you smirked before going on your tippy toes to pull him into a short but sweet kiss.

“i truly don’t deserve you. please forgive me” he whined into the kiss, making you smile even more.

“of course i forgive you. even though some of the things you did were completely idiotic and made me want to yank out your hair. i can’t deny that i have strong feelings for you. and i would really like to see how we can be without having to sneak around and only make out. i want to go on dates with you, na jaemin! i want to meet your family and go to cute cafes and eat so much food we both develop food babies! i want to go on an adventure with you, whatever the risks are. i’m willing to take it” you spoke with such emotion, you both ended up crying. jaemin pulled you in for another kiss, this one wasn’t filled with such tension as the first time, but this time it just felt right. he was finally yours.

[ 2 months later ]

you were all hanging out at jaemin’s house, watching a silly children’s movie and critiquing it to the core. you were snuggled up against jaemin’s side, with his arm over your shoulders. he would give you small pecks on your forehead throughout the film, making you blush each time. you would bury your head into his shoulder whenever you felt tired which just made his heart flutter ecstatically.

jaemin decided to throw some popcorn at renjun who had fallen asleep in an uncomfortable position. you were all giggling at the situation, causing renjun to stir awake from his sleep.

“ugh, y/n can you please tell your boyfriend to stop annoying me?!” renjun irritatedly groaned.

“hes not my boyfriend!” you decided to joke.

“hey!!!” jaemin pouted from bestie you, crossing his arms.

“i’m kidding” you whispered to him before pulling him in for a kiss.

“gross, why did we encourage them to get together?” haechan rolled his eyes before throwing a pillow at you two.

“let them be!” jeno retorted before throwing a pillow at haechan. you all erupted into a fit of laughter before continuing with the agenda for the night.

after the boys had left jaemin’s house, you prepared to sleep over, as it was the first time, you were more than nervous. jaemin came up behind you and hugged you, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“whatcha thinking about?” he mumbled into your skin.

“you” you flirted, turning to face him. he smiled widely, pulling you closer to him so that your chests met. he leaned down, capturing your lips in his. he led you towards his bed, both of you collapsing onto the mattress. you both positioned yourselves to face eachother in bed. he pulled you into his chest, softly rubbing up and down your arm.

“jaems” you whispered.

“hm?” he looked down at you.

“i just wanted to tell you that i love you and you’re super cute” you blushed while looking to see his reaction.

“i-i love you too” he engulfed you in a hug before kissing you all over your face.

“and you are super duper cute!” he giggled, before resuming his attack of kisses on your face.

these were the moments you cherished the most.

[atopearth]

Ikemen Revolution Part 12 - Harr Silver Route

I have to admit that I'm not really interested in Harr, but omg, that CG of him kinda made me change my mind, like is he hotter and cuter than I thought?! He was actually looking pretty cute when he seemed to be shy after saving the heroine from some drunkards. Honestly though, I know they wanted to create an opportunity for the heroine to meet Harr, but how careless of Seth and Sirius to lose sight of her so fast lol. I don't want to say the heroine is dumb, but honestly, walking into dark alleyways is not what normal people do to look for people, and anyway after that, what if Harr and Loki saved her to get her trust lol, she so easily decided that she should ditch the Black Army "to protect them from people trying to get her powers" and left with Loki, someone she barely knows. Like sure, she barely knows the Black Army either, but at least they've been rather warm and welcoming, whereas, Harr is a "wanted criminal" lol. Well, I guess they needed to do that for them to bond, since it's not like Harr would bother kidnapping her even if he cares lol. Logically though, if Harr still hasn't been caught, this is probably a good hiding place for the heroine to stay until she can leave Cradle and go back home haha.

Hahahaha, I love how Harr was the one who forgot that he let her sleep in the bed of the storage room, and stumbles upon her changing out of her night gown in the morning. I think the most hilarious part was how Harr was more shocked and torn over it than she was, so she went to chase him back instead, I guess he's the real victim🤣 Aww Harr blushing when the heroine said welcome home and just kept staring at him was so cute lol. Lmao at how silly the heroine is, who randomly drinks a drink that suspiciously says "drink me" and really, she should probably just ask Loki or Harr if she's curious, but I guess she wouldn't run into silly situations if she did lol. I guess Harr just can't catch a break with the heroine here now. Loll that none of them thought that she would need clothes after Harr undid the magic that made her small enough, like that was literally the first thing I thought of lol. Why does it seem there’s so many coincidental silly situations for Harr in this route loll.

I can't believe the heroine just walked out of the magical barrier lolll, not that she knew, but Loki did tell her to stay close to the house and she's not on a picnic, she's hiding from people, so you would think she's less careless, but I guess everyone's been spoiling her too much lol. So I guess Harr knows Dalim well because he used to be one of the senior disciples in the Magic Tower? Harr is so thoughtful omg. Even after everything that happened, he's still encouraging her to go out to the lake so that she could at least fish or something instead of staying cooped up inside the house. He's so kind and understanding. HAHAHA I loved how Harr gave her a lollipop when she said she didn't want to sleep and wanted to spend time with him lmao. To be fair, all she's been doing is drinking hot chocolate and constantly barrage him with questions on how he's making those magic crystals like a little kid that wants attention, so I'm honestly not surprised he's treating her like a kid🤣🤣 Omg lmao when Harr and the heroine really agreed to Loki's wish for everyone to sleep together on the same bed hahahah, I guess they needed it since they all couldn't sleep though, but dang that CG of Harr putting the blanket over the heroine was so cuteeee~🥰

It's nice to see how happy and grateful Loki is about Harr picking him up back then and taking care of him, I guess they pretty much are parent and child haha. It's kinda cute how Harr just can't leave people like Loki and the heroine alone. I'm not surprised that Harr was mad when Loki and the heroine went out and didn't tell him anything! I would be so worried. Anyway, Harr in a suit is so hot but cute at the same time, I love it. It's nice how he's attending the ball just to make the heroine feel more safe and comfortable so she can have some happy memories of Cradle. Awww I love how Harr honestly doesn't need to put in effort, but he really goes the extra mile for the heroine by even asking her to dance at the ball, especially when he's so shy!! I also love how he kept reassuring her that no one was watching, so she just need to make sure she was having fun learning how to dance and enjoying it all. Although everything about Harr is pretty cute, I have no idea why he likes the heroine or feels particularly happy to be with her?

Well, Harr definitely looks better without the mask haha. Anyway, it was expected that his scar was from escaping the Magic Tower when he realised the crazy human experiments they were doing to extract the innate magic power from humans to make even greater magic crystals, but it was nice to see Harr express how sad and betrayed he felt when he went to Lancelot and Sirius (his best friends at the time) to tell them all about it, yet Lancelot said they were lies. Obviously Lancelot is like that because he needs a better opportunity and way to overturn the Magic Tower and its importance considering that even Harr can't deny how crucial it is to Cradle, but it must have really hurt to imagine Lancelot being in collusion with people like that. Honestly, Harr liking her because she is so bright and hopeful etc is so cliche (and I kinda rolled my eyes because c'mon, Loki is more of a shining light than she is lol, it's like the only difference is that she's a girl and from a different world than Cradle and that suddenly makes her more special to him), and I think the heroine is pretty bland right now as well, but it was cute when she leaned on his shoulder for comfort and he was good with it😆

Honestly, even though I'm not a fan of their supposedly budding relationship, I did like how smart Harr was to kiss her on the forehead to distract her so he could put her to sleep, and it's not like he was insincere about it either, he genuinely likes her enough to do that, but at the same time, he did it so he could leave her and Loki behind to fight against the Magic Tower himself. Anyway, I have no idea why Harr didn't lock Loki and the heroine in the house or something if he didn't want them to come interfere, like, wasn't putting them to sleep redundant then? I mean, I honestly doubt he thought he could defeat the Magic Tower in the time they would be asleep for lol, and I’m sure he could have created some barrier to keep them in there without restricting their freedom for getting food etc considering he’s one of the best magicians in Cradle.  Anyway, I guess it was nice to see the heroine do something in this route (protecting the Magic Tower from magic when Harr fought Amon to destroy the rest of his crazy magic crystal stock) but yeah, she's still childish😅 It was obvious that Harr became the leader of the Tower but anyway, seriously, that moment where Sirius told Lancelot and Harr to invite him along when they decide to catch up in the future, and they both looked at the shoulder Sirius touched when he said that just made my heart feel so warm! I think that little moment there topped any of the romantic moments between the heroine and Harr loll, just seeing the three of them so obedient and happy to be able to communicate like friends again was so sweet~🥰

Overall, I have to say, I really didn't like Harr's route lol. It's sad though, because I honestly really like Harr as a character, he's super shy, adorable, and kind! He's the type I can't help but adore which is why I liked how he was but I just think him and the heroine were....weird together. I don't know if it's just me, but I found the heroine really childish in this route, and definitely not the angel that fell from heaven to save Harr as he so thinks because not only was she pretty annoying and a lot of her lines were pretty cringe (could be a translation problem but I dunno). Anyway, her existence made me hate this route lol, like usually I can tolerate her but I'm not sure if I've had enough because I really couldn't for this one. Not only were the decisions she made really silly, the way she acted and somehow touched Harr's heart was pretty ridiculous because you can usually understand how the heroine is that light at the end of the tunnel thing but I honestly couldn't relate this time because rather than being that bright girl, it just seemed like her silliness and stupid actions made Harr feel like he needed to protect her etc and probably would have stressed most people lol. I honestly felt like Loki should have been the real light at the end of the tunnel for Harr because he was just as caring or even more, the only problem was that he's an LI and not a girl lol, but I honestly liked their relationship more than Harr's with the heroine because I just couldn't feel it. 

Surprisingly, I really loved Loki in this route, he was helpful, encouraging, a really great friend to both, and he definitely seemed to be more fun than in his own route lol. Anyway, when Harr gave her a lollipop, I could never really get past the fact that this scene was right, the heroine was more of a child than a romantic interest because she really never developed from then on, so yeah, that romantic ending was a bit weird when he seemed so into her, because I don't feel like his interest really makes sense. This is probably the route I least like right now lol, which is sad because I looked forward to Harr after realising he was actually pretty cute, sigh. I guess it's worth reading to see how sweet and nice Harr is, but other than that, I don't think the story was particularly fun or great.