#heather ate shit and fucking died

[popstart]

i am going to fucking kill you

[hellbubu]

If you don't like what I post, filter tags and block me. I'm not gonna argue with anyone.

You (often) can tell that the character design is good when you can tell the characters apart based on silhouette alone.

I fondly remember my school days, back when I was tied up /s Anyway, 10/10 on the visual

I need a man like this, someone help me find him

The trick is tired if doing your work for you...

Y'all, Erwin is too interested in CIel... please don't let my bby boy get dragged into the Survey Corps, he won't survive😭😭😭

idc what the P4 are talking about, I want to drink whatever Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way is making.

At least someone is suspicious.

Clayton, baby, you're supposed to be in the smart house, don't you find it a bit suspicious???? He made the dining room look brand new. I doubt someone could do that so quickly, even if it were their "hobby"

Thanks for being a snitch, Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way.

Oh, the moment someone else shows interest you become suspicious?? Are you jealous Ebony wants Ciel at his haunted house-looking dorm? Settle it like real nobility, through a duel.

*chanting* Duel! Duel! Duel! Duel! Duel! Also:

They really do all want him.

Man really is Erwin.

Maybe, just maybe, you should keep your mouth shut bb. Also, I thought you were from England, not fucking Alabama.

Heather doesn't care that people died.

No need to do my poor boy like that, he isn't ugly. At least he studies, unlike you, Regina.

idk his name, but I can see why Heather keeps him around.

So the whole school has a crush on him? Understandable.

I see the sebaciel shippers keep being fed

This is some Mean Girls type shit.

He ate the leaves too????? Did he not watch Solar's latest strawberry mukbang???

Take the tops off and eat, Ciel!!!!!

Lil Mr Hypocrite

I love Sebastian

He looks like Claude...

I know you're a demon, but chill. jfc

My boy is here!!!!!!!

[walnutart]

HEADCANONS FOR DEMON HEATHER CHANDLER

This one’s for you @mehdon-tm

Background:

Heather C. came back as a demon a few weeks after she died. She says it’s bc of unfinished business but seeing as she never elaborated on what that business is Veronica theorizes that she’s just too petty to stay dead.

Veronica and Chandler are now like 22-23 and are reluctantly madly in love.

————

First, Demon heather can glamour herself to appear human, however, it takes a lot of effort so she only does it when needed

Heather: Veronica why can’t I just go to the grocery store like this? Last time I glamoured myself I felt like I was going to shit blood

Veronica: I don’t even know if you have blood anymore. Or shit for that matter.

Heather: don’t change the subject.

Veronica: Red, for fucks sake you have horns and a tail

Heather: I could be cosplaying

Veronica: at target?

Heather: it’s happened before

Veronica: babe go sit down

Chandler does not let Veronica live her death down. She mentions it a minimum of 2 times a day.

Veronica: heather did you eat the last donut? I thought I told you I was saving that for work today?

Heather: oh I’m so sorry I ate your donut, Veronica. It’s funny though because I actually was planning on eating a donut the morning of my death. The death that you are technically an accomplice in. I just find that funny.

Veronica:

Heather: :)

Veronica:

Heather: ;)

Veronica: you can’t use that every time

Heather: considering you were responsible for my death I think I can use that all I want.

Veronica: you’re a bitch

Heather: and you’re a murderer

I never said their relationship wasn’t dysfunctional

Heather is EXTREMELY hot now that she is a Creature of Hell and I mean that in the most literal sense

The girl is a walking sauna

She is also a cuddler

Particularly when they are going to sleep

She is literally on top of Veronica whenever the poor girl tried to sleep

Fun fact: heather doesn’t need to sleep. She simply doesn’t.

Exhibit A:

She also doesn’t sleep in human form.

This means Veronica is frequently poked and stabbed by her girlfriends horns or scared shitless by her tail.

#Let Ronnie sleep 2022

Heathers diet now that she’s a demon is purely meat

This is bc she’s technically supposed to be eating humans

However just short of pulling a jennifer’s body she’s out of luck in that department

Not only is that a crime, but Heather describes eating people as “a bit gauche” whatever that means

This means Veronica buys no less than 4 rotisserie chickens and several pounds of steak a week.

She’s an enigma at her local Walmart

On a more serious note chandler does legitimately have PTSD from you know… dying

So, whenever she has an episode either the Heathers come over (bc yes they’re in this au of course) or if she’s feeling more private she will allow Veronica stroke her tail or simply hold/spoon her

This is incredibly inconvenient for Veronica because heather is now much bigger than her. However she loves her so she never complains

[walker-journal]

Mist Shelters All (Adam Solo)

Here I sit

Laughing at all of it Doesn't hurt a bit Tears fall But mist shelters all

-A wholesome Nursery Rhyme 

Content Warning: Allusions to Parental Death, Interfamily Violence, Walker’s being Walkers, Head Trauma, Lobotomy Imagery, Allusions to the Child Indoctrination 

Hartvlinder drifted through the air like a gossamer mist. Clusters of the tentacled polyps danced around Adam on thermal currents. They buffeted the Hunter in waves that were at once so thick that he couldn’t see anything beyond a few feet in the feathery haze, but also so gentle that the dreamy etherealness that made it easy to doubt if he was actually awake. 

Adam knew it was dangerous to be out here. These paranormal polyps all put out a tiny ‘blip’ on his Hunter senses. It was like ballistic Chaff in a way. Just as clouds of aluminum scrap Chaff could blot out radar, so too were all these drifting Hartvlinder turning Adam’s monster detection into just a grey fuzz in the back of his brain. 

But Adam had trudged deeper into the Hartvlinder-clouded moor anyway, boots swishing through fields of blue heather blooms and wading through ponds carpeted in padded lilies. The skyline of White Crest had been swallowed up hours ago, vanishing as a gauzy cloudscape of Hartvlinder enshrouded everything. 

He’d finally found the densest heart of the Harrvlinder haze, where the largest adult specimens drifted like airborne moon jellyfish. Adam held one of the squirming polyps in his hand, staring down with a leaden expression into the mass of fern tendrils that strained towards his face. But at each feathery brush against his temples Adam flinched away, trying to calm his breathing and work up the resolve to submit that lobotomizing embrace. 

Adam was so engrossed in this inner brinkmanship that he didn’t feel the blow coming until it was too late. The world was red tinged black as he was thrown down into the heather. 

“You don’t want to do that.”

Adam shook cobolt blooms off his head and tried to look up towards the familiar voice. A dark-haired man of sinewy muscularity in his later thirties, Daniel Walker didn’t look like much in oil-stained jeans and T-shirt from some band that’d been obscure long before either of them were born. But Adam had watched his paternal uncle nonchalantly snap necks enough times to respect Daniel’s no-frills approach to lethality. 

“Woooah fuuuck, Uncle Dan,” Adam exclaimed with boyish joviality as he flipped back up to his feet  in one smooth motion. “Dude so like Terry and I were thinking like ...what we covered some of these fern-aliens in Gold Bond and …”

“Adam I don’t have time left in my life for this prep-school boy toy act,” Daniel interrupted with the weary salt of someone who’d had to leave a soft bed with warm company. “Spill it or I’ll knock you cold and ship your ass off to Tel Aviv with a frozen food sticker.”

But Adam had already closed the distance and sent a low uppercut into his uncle’s solar plexus. “I’ve made up my mind Dan,” he claimed, sweeping a leg behind the elder Hunter’s knees and sending him tumbling with a two-fisted hammerblow to the collarbone. 

“Really,” Daniel huffed as he broke the fall’s  momentum with a backwards somersault through the heather that brought him back up to his feet. “You head  out to do wetwork all the time without bothering anybody bout it. Why message Naomi about that witch your sweet on? Why as me about an old rhyme?” Daniel jumped to the side as Adam attempted to catch him in a soccer slide-tackle, clapping the athlete hard on the side of his dead as he skidded through the grass. “If you really wanted to do this, you’d numbed yourself into a  Hart-Hollow hours ago.” 

Adam’s unfocused brown eyes lifted to the tendril clouds of Hartvlinder drifting around them like a ocean of dandelion seeds. “I just …,” he murmured with a slightly concussed slur, “I want to become a better person, to make it so that all the fucked up shit doesn’t hold me back. I need to become a better man, a more focused weapon for humanity. Right now I can’t help anyone, I’m a danger to you. ” 

Daniel was quiet for a time as the two sparred in the polyp fog, trading blows that would’ve shattered the bodies of more natural men with a celerity other eyes would have struggled to follow. Daniel watched his nephew carefully while reducing the younger man’s face and bare arms to a bruised blood messy and taking his fair share of pain in return. 

At last the huntsman reached his verdict: “Bullshit.” 

Adam glared at Daniel while pausing to wipe the blood trickling down from his broken lips. But while Adam came at his uncle again with a gritted teeth and more viciously aimed punches, he didn’t actually deny the denunciation. “You think I don’t have the guts to do it or something?”

Daniel weaved back from Adam’s southpaw and took a guarded stance while noticing his nephew’s form become both more ever aggressive as anger overwhelmed training. “Few months back? Yeah I’d say you more then brainwashed enough back then to mutilate yourself into a Fern-Terminator for mankind’s glory or some shit,” he mused softly while stepping into the blindspot of Adam’s incoming punch. “But now? Nah, that’s not why you’re here” Daniel asserted, jamming an elbow straight into Adam’s abdominals while his other hand landed an uppercut to the nose. 

“You don’t know that! I need to change, to get rid of...the fuck do you know!”

Daniel looked into Adam’s bloody face as the footballer’s fury seemed to make the livid bruises covering him all the starker. “Fact is you’ve already changed son, have been for a long time now I figure,” Daniel said softly. “And that scares the shit out of you.” 

Adam circled Daniel in search of an opening, feinting and drawing back into the obscuring cover of the Hartvlinder mist. But Daniel simply stood calmly in the blue heather, and sure enough, the retaliating blow never came.

“I’m just lost” 

Daniel flashed a wry bloodstained smile to the younger killer struggling to stay on his feet from battering and sleep deprivation. “Nah, I don’t think so,”  he assured, rubbing some ribs Adam had landed a solid kick on earlier. Daniel walked over to where Adam had sank down into an exhausted heap on the grass. “Look, I know the Code’s been the guiding star your whole life but...”

“I broke it Uncle Dan,” Adam confessed hoarsely with a thickness in his throat. “Then I even lost our....”

“I know,” Daniel interrupted gently, squeezing his nephew’s shoulder. “But how can you protect humanity if you give up what makes you human?”

Adam shook his head furiously in the fervent denial, tears mingling with open cuts. “Dad gave everything for humanity!”

“Hey dumbass, it ever reach your brain that you’re one of the people my brother died to save,” Daniel snapped, “humanity is an empty idol. No one loves abstract humanity, we love people. So cut that shit out.” 

Adam swallowed and tried to wipe his eyes, shoving away a drifting Hartvlinder that’d been extending its gossamer tendrils towards his face. 

“But you’ve already known that deep down for a while,” Daniel observed, “Honoring our ancestors’ sacrifices doesn’t mean mindlessly following their every word.”

“Still nice to hear someone else say it,” Adam admitted. “At the Bullet when they talk about Uri and the Gehenna 13 incident its like hes....I dunno..not even my dad anymore.” 

“Not a real human that ate, shat, and had flaws like the rest of us,” Daniel suggested. 

“Yeah pretty much,” 

The two battered Huntsmen sat in the heather for a while, watching wispy waves of Hartvlinder become subtly numinous as dawn sent a golden glow through the gauzy veil. 

“I still like, feel totally lost all the time without the Code, like I’m just making it up as I go along.”

Daniel scoffed and ruffed Adam’s sweaty hair . “Chill out kid, it just means you're growing up.”

[alstanfordart]

Bob’s Nightmare. Scene below.

@queenoftheclownsme

@theblackrosegoddess

It awoke. Not particularly rested. Its mind had drifted. Drifted back to the Todash, leaving Its material presence hidden beneath the ground, safely stashed away in a dark crevice of the cave. As Its conscious was violently ripped back into Its avatar of Robert Gray, It could feel the wound. No healing. Something had awakened It.

Not healed. Not healed but awake prematurely.

Confused, It staggers up, focusing Its one eye, seeing only black. Hearing creaking sounds and door slamming. Unable to see a few feet in front of It with just a subtle hint of weak light from an unknown source. It begins to walk and as It does, It hears, at the edge of the darkness, children singing;

'Oranges and lemons, say the bells of St. Clement's, you owe me five farthings, say the bells of St. Martin's.'

It pauses in Its steps as It sees a flash of yellow accompanied by giggling.

A boy.

The voice of the child causes unease as another blur of yellow dashes past, before the child appears before It, partially obscured by the shadows save for emerald rain boots stark against the midnight and a speck of light in each iris.

What the Hell is this?

Little Georgie Denbrough in his slick rain coat, skin flaps dangling from his bloody stump as he slowly reveals himself as a gentle sound of thunder and rain drift out from behind him.

The boy approaches, neutral expression, standing before It.

"Why did you kill me?" Georgie asks, his round face pale, his eyes rimmed with dark circles as he gazes up. "I didn't do anything. I just wanted my boat."

Georgie holds out his hand, the paper boat sitting on his tiny fingers, blood starting to seep through and engulf the faded paper.

"It wasn't anything personal kid, I was hungry." Robert growls, lip curling up in disgust and taking a step back from this unwelcome mirage.

Like It needs to justify Itself to this brat. He is what led to Its confrontation with the hated ones. Perhaps had It targeted another child...

But maybe that would have lead to an entirely different group of children targeting It.

Maybe the Final Other intended it that way.

And that boat. That fucking boat is what started the whole mess.

It doesn't pursue this train of thought further, as it enrages It.

There's a shift in Georgie's melancholy demeanor and a creepy grin breaks out as he bends down to place his boat on a thin river of blood that has manifested, suspended a few feet above the ground.

Georgie then steps back, his form breaking apart as it evaporates upwards into the darkness as the now crimson-soaked boat starts to glide along as the singing starts up again;

'When will you pay me? Say the bells at Old Bailey. When I grow rich, say the bells at Shoreditch.'

Robert stares down at the boat as it starts to move, the blood river carrying it along. The boat's route becomes altered as the river begins to flow out, a small wave lifting it through the air. Robert's gaze follows as a red-haired woman appears amid the swirling ruby.

Beverly Marsh.

"Well, aren't you a sight," she smirks, hands perched upon her hips. "Just as bad as the time I stabbed you in the head. Couldn't sleep that one off, huh?"

The little bitch.

Snarling, quill teeth now jetting out his mouth, Robert lunges, only to have her vaporize as he goes to tear at her throat. Her disembodied laugh echoing around him. The blood river drifts off, taking the small boat along as it disappears into the gloom as a cream-colored wooden door appears. It steadily swings open, revealing a bathroom. Robert refrains from coming closer, but the room appears to envelope him, moving on its own.

The steam cloud blanketing the area barely conceals a dark-haired man slouched in a bathtub.

Stanley Uris, head lolling against his shoulder.

Spotting Robert, he sits up as he holds out his wrists, thin slashes appearing and dripping, inking the bath water red and dotting the white porcelain.

"I got to grow up at least." he says.

Robert gives a contemptuous scoff. "You did that to yourself."

"After you came to me." Stan retorts, lowering his arms slowly, staring blankly at Robert, a little half-smile just barely showing. Robert quickly retreats, slamming the door as it dissolves in a puff of thin smoke.

It is growing increasingly uncomfortable. Anxious. It must get out of here, whatever this is.

A dream. A nightmare.

Limbo? Had It been killed while slumbering?

Robert's head darts around as he searches the area, strange clanking sounds and echos vibrate in the distance coupled with a growing forest of giggling children's voices and the baaing of sheep.

'When will that be? Say the bells of Stepney. I do not know, says the great bell at Bow.'

Mike Hanlon comes forth, holding up a photo album. Opening it, there are various photographs of black birds.

"We're all afraid of something-even you." he says as the birds come to life and begin to flap their wings and squawk, emerging from the album's pages in droves, growing larger in size as they fly at Robert, pecking at him, their beady eyes glowing yellow. He ducks down and swats at them, growling as Mike fades into the dark.

As the birds swoop away, another familiar male voice appears.

"What's up clown man!" Richie Tozier jumps out, bat in hands as Robert, startled, stumbles backwards.

Ugh, of all the Losers, It had hated this one the most. The insulting little shit.

Richie continues to swing the bat, the wood making audible swooshing sounds that cut through the air.

Roaring, Robert grabs at the weapon, only to have his hands pass through it, tumbling forward as Richie cackles.

"Hey, no! Sorry no cigar! You know this place is worse than that crack house." he says, as he pauses to adjust his glasses.

Another final voice, immediately recognizable.

"He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts, he thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts."

Bill Denbrough steps forth from the tenebrosity, the boat pinched between his fingers.

"You're not real. None of you are. Old age took you back to the weeds long ago." Robert says glaring at him, his one iris starting to spark as Bill approaches.

Save for Mike. All are gone.

Bill smirks. "We're not real enough for you?" he replies, chuckling as an inhaler rolls out beside his feet. Eddie Kaspbrak reaches down to pluck it up, standing alongside Bill.

Raising it to his lips, he halts. "I actually don't need this anymore." Eddie says as he chucks it casually over his shoulder.

Richie moves to stand by them along with Mike and Beverly, with Georgie close behind, followed by Ben Hanscom, who holds up a piece of a large eggshell, black and shiny. Robert's expression drops at the sight, an angry grimace exposing his razor incisors.

Stanley Uris suddenly joins them, that same barely-smile still there. Almost mocking.

Robert glances around at his former adversaries.

"You should have stayed out of it. All of you, had you just kept to your business, let me have what I wanted, Stan and Eds would have lived longer, happier lives. I would have been nothing more than fragments of a forgotten dream. Amnesia is a kindness."

"We forgot, but you haven't forgotten us," Mike offers. "Have you?"

"We're still here," Bill adds, tapping the tip of the paper boat against his temple. "Can't escape that."

The eight are now bordering around him, with more emerging from behind: Candice Swain, Veronica Dell, the drunk Samuel, Colin and Hank Dobson, Esther, Noah Brady, the Muncy family, Julie, the hateful redhead Heather Taggart, Brandon Wilkes, Emily and her mother and the rest of the newest souls he'd claimed on this planet as well as his victims from Derry; the boys from the tunnel, Derek Stuart and James, Henry Bowers, Patrick Hockstetter decked out in his cartoon cat shirt, features chewed, the other two punks from the Bower's gang whose names he couldn't be bothered to remember, their necks bloodied, ripped open. Betty Ripsom, little Victoria, Adrian Mellon and the faces of endless Derry children and adults, some recognizable, some barely a hint of familiarity, many just a passing blip on his existence like pretty Martha and naive Alison. Many he'd used and killed like Tom Rogan, some that survived his Deadlights like Audra Denbrough.

As well as the unfortunate wife of the true Robert Gray, Agnes and their daughter Emma. Scowling and hateful.

Decades upon decades of victims. Many missing limbs, their eyeballs gouged out, blood bubbling from their mouths.

"Why'd you kill me?"

"You ripped my legs off and left my body in a ditch."

"You ate my baby. My only son."

"My father died from a broken heart after I went missing."

"They only found my head with no eyes."

Whispering, talking, with some laughing menacingly, all tinted in dull green-blue as the numbers begin to grow as more appear behind them.

Then a few clear a path, allowing another achingly familiar figure to step into the bleak light.

Mirasal.

She moves to stand before him, bringing her arms up to scissor them across her chest, she gives him a somber scowl.

Robert lowers himself to his knees, keeping his gaze locked with hers as resentment and hatred glimmer within her cerulean disks.

"What was that you told me? That I could trust you?" she says, giving a repulsed head shake.

No. This is not her. Remember that. None of this is real.

Just a dream. It's not real.

Robert hangs his head in his hands. "I don't want to hurt you." he mutters into his palms, his face shooting up at the sound of her chuckling derisively.

"Like I would believe you, you even thought about killing me," she replies. "Or perhaps give me a little scare."

With that, she leaps forward, her mouth unhinging, the blue eyes switching to ebony as she comes at him with her claws out. Robert winces back, covering his face, ducking his head down, only to feel nothing. He gingerly peeks out from beneath his fingers.

She's vanished. But the others, their irises blacking out to mimic that same appearance, still remain. All begin to draw closer, the Loser's Club at the forefront, their hands growing paler, some stained with blood splatter, grabbing at him as they close in, swaying back and forth, becoming more zombie-like.

"Get away from me," Robert rapidly stands, whirling around, panic gripping him as he growls, his one intact pupil now burning bright. "Get away."

"We all float down here, Robert. Float with us. Float with us. " they all cantillate in unison. "Float with us."

"No, no. Leave me alone." Robert drops back down to the ground, cowering, shielding himself from their increasingly grotesque faces, their features shriveling up and dropping to the ground. Their cackles resounding through his skull, magnified.

"You'll float too! You'll float too! You'll float too!"

"No!" Robert shouts, covering his ears as the area begins to spin, the faces around him now blending together. "No! No! No! Please! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

Their laughing abruptly ceases, their fingers no longer grabbing and prodding at him, and all is quiet save for the angelic crooning beginning to rise again;

'Here comes a candle to light you to bed.'

Robert follows the source, coming into view of a tall lithe figure, its slouching back facing him, standing in the center of a circle of light. The air above has red balloons hovering, completely still as Robert approaches, pausing every other step as the being becomes more visible, its ruffled off-white costume beginning to twitch as it turns to face him, bells jingling.

Robert stands facing his favorite form as it gives an empty grin.

What?

"Here comes a candle to light you to bed." Pennywise says as he reaches his elongated gloved fingers to grip the nape of Robert's neck. His eyes are two empty sockets, devoid of any color, his teeth yellowed needles as he brings his ghostly features closer, smooth, almost as if they were set in porcelain. Without warning he slams Robert to the ground, the strings of the balloons suspended above gently blow in response as he straddles him.

"Time to pay the piper, ol' Bob Gray," Pennywise intones as he lowers his teeth, only an inch from Robert's visage of both fear and confusion, the dripping saliva strings cold against his skin. Pennywise traces a bony finger along Robert's nose. "And here comes a chopper to chop off your head! Chip chop chip chop, the last man is dead!" he starts to maniacally cackle.

Squeezing his lids, Robert lets out a roar, fighting to free himself, thrashing beneath his double.

And just like that, the clown and the balloons are gone.

[the--blackdahlia]

Talk to Me (Slight Tommy x Nikki)

Title: Talk to Me

Summary:  Tommy needs someone to help him.

Warnings: Drinking, Alcohol-related issues, language

AN:  I honestly don't know where this came from. Sorry guys.

Tommy didn’t have a problem with drugs. Yeah, he might have back in the 80’s, but so did everyone else. But everytime he turned around, someone was telling him he had a problem. An attitude problem. An anger problem. A drinking problem. Yeah, he would admit that he was a bit hot headed, and yeah, he did mouth off when he needed to be quiet, and yeah, he did enjoy a drink, but they weren’t problems. He had them all under control.

That’s where there was a video out there circulating of Brittany freaking out and calling 911 while Brandon stood over him after having just knocked him out. Because Tommy totally had everything under control. That’s why Pamela took every chance to jab at him in interviews. That’s why Heather left him in the first place.

Yeah, Tommy had everything under control…

“T?” Tommy heard a voice outside of his studio. How did anyone know he was here? Brittany didn’t even know he was here. “T, can I come in?”

Who was that? Tommy couldn’t figure it out. He looked at the table he was sitting at, clutching an empty glass and there were, fucking hell three empty bottles. When did that happen? He didn’t think he’d been sitting there long enough to drain three bottles.

“Tommy, please?”

Wait. Was that Nikki? No, it couldn’t be. Nikki made it perfectly clear after the last show that he didn’t want to see Tommy ever again. Tommy had to figure out sometime where these hallucinations came from, because nine times out of ten, it was fucking Nikki. And that shit hurt more than when he’d see his mom or dad.

The door opened then and Tommy couldn’t stop the tears that were falling down his face as the black haired bassist made his way into the dim room. He heard the door close behind him and watched as Nikki made his way over to him, a small gasp coming from the older man as his eyes fell on Tommy.

“Jesus,” Nikki whispered.

“You’re not real,” Tommy slurred. “Go ‘way.”

“Damn it,” Nikki watched as Tommy shook the three bottles, looking for more of the liquid. “You’ve been in here for two days T. They’re all empty.”

“Nah,” Tommy shook his head. “Two hours tops.”

“No,” Nikki told him. “You have been here for two days. Brittany called me.” Tommy looked up at him. He looked different than the Nikki’s he normally saw. Sometimes it would be a young guy hiding behind a mass of black hair, telling Tommy to drink more, it’ll be fun. Sometimes it was a much older version, telling Tommy how much he hated spending all this time with him, and he never wanted to see him again. That one always hurt. He liked the younger one better.

“My hallucinations know who she is now?” He asked. Nikki looked surprised for a moment.

“Fuck,” Nikki sighed. He reached out and grabbed Tommy’s arm, placing Tommy’s trembling hand in his. “Your hallucinations ever touch you before?”

“N-no,” Tommy shook his head. “But you can’t be real. You hate me.” He went to pull his hand away, but Nikki held onto it like a vice, trying to keep Tommy anchored to the here and now.

“I don’t hate you. I have never hated you,” Nikki told him. “I love you. You know I do. I just hate the fucking demon you let possess you.” Nikki used his free hand to grab one of the bottles sitting on the table. “You let this control you Tom.”

“No I don’t,” Tommy shook his head. “I have it under control.”

“Then why don’t you remember that you’ve been here two days?” Nikki asked. “Do you remember the last time you ate? Do you remember the last time you picked up your drumsticks? Do you even remember coming in here?”

Tommy didn’t want to answer. He just wanted to get out of here. He had everything under control and he didn’t fucking need Nikki poking holes in his theory.

“Tommy, I can’t lose you to this,” Nikki told him, his voice softer and...shit, was he crying? “Do you think I want to see on the news that you died because of this? Do you think I want to get a call from Brittany or even fucking Vince telling me that you choked on your own vomit and fucking died?”

“Nikki…”

“Addiction isn’t just a heroin needle and a line of coke Tommy. It’s a bottle of Jack, Jim, and Jose. You can talk to me.”

And that’s what broke Tommy. That’s what broke the walls he was putting up and let the tears flow freely. Nikki pulled him into his chest, letting Tommy sob into his shirt.

“How do I stop?” Tommy asked. “I don’t know how to stop.”

“Let’s start by getting out of the studio,” Nikki told him. “Let’s get you a shower, and some food. I know a place you can go where they’ll help you, and I’ll help Brittany get the alcohol out of the house.”

“But I’ll fuck up again. I always do.”

“Not if you have a good support team behind you,” Nikki told him. “I know that not everyone can just give it up like I did. But I’m going to help you. You’re not alone T.” He kissed Tommy’s forehead.

“And you’re real…” Tommy just said, trying to make sure that his brain kept that in mind.

“Very real,” Nikki told him. “And I’m not going anywhere.” Tommy nodded and let Nikki help him out of the dim room. He cringed as the bright light hit him, but it was just natural sunlight. He could hear Neena and Wickey barking, wanting to go to him. He could hear Brittany ask Nikki if he was okay.

“He will be,” Nikki told her. “But he’ll need help. And we’re going to help him.”

Everything else seemed to blur. The shower, the food, the ride in Nikki’s car to the clinic. Tommy wanted it to work this time. He wanted to see his boys with sober eyes. He wanted to play his drums again. He wanted to make music.

“You know,” Nikki told him as they drove towards the place Nikki believed in, the place that helped him more times than he could count. “Mick said he wouldn’t mind playing again. And I’ve been talking with Netflix about picking up our story. Vince told me being solo isn’t the same anymore. So, if you do this, we could do some music for it.”

“Yeah,” Tommy nodded. Nikki reached out and squeezed his hand.

“I’ll be waiting here for you when you need me,” Nikki told him and Tommy only realized then that they had parked in front of the rehab. “They’re expecting you. They’re going to take good care of you.”

“What if I mess up again?” Tommy asked.

“Accidents happen,” Nikki told him. “But you don’t let them keep you down.” Tommy nodded.

“Thanks,” Tommy mumbled. “For everything.”

“I told you that I love you, and I’m not going to stand by and watch as a bottle drowns you,” Nikki smiled at him. He watched as Tommy got out of the car, carrying the bag that Brittany had packed for him. He needed to dry out. He needed to get the tools to help him climb out of this dark pit he was in.

Tommy looked back one more time, making sure that Nikki was still there and he hadn’t drove here by himself. Nikki had gotten out of the car and walked with Tommy to the door without the drummer even knowing. Taking a deep breath, Tommy stepped through the glass doors.

Because that first step was the hardest, but with Nikki there, he knew he could do it.

Forever Tags: @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316 @horrorpxnk @tommyleeownsme @marvelismylifffe @mrslogansixxpixx

Motley Crue Tags:@primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @iamtiber-andtiberismusic-deacti @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @sweet-dreams-on-butterfly-wings @estxxmotley @arianareirg @the-normal-potato @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18 @stella20131991 @tarahell @wowilovenikkisixx @i-want-to-shoot-myself @motleycrueee @sams-serialkiller-fetish @getbackhonkycatt @are-you-reddie54321 @deacyduck @scarecrowmax @major-tom-is-a-fucking-junkie @anyasthoughts @bandaids-not-groupies @ilovetomkeiferslips @kaitieskidmore1 @useyourillusion @xpoisonousrosesx @slash-me-up @hauntedapricoteggsclam

[babystevie]

Teacher AU

Also Available on AO3: Here 

Chapter 3: Billy’s Perspective

Things seemed to change between them after that.

They say hello more often and talk for a bit before Steve needs to go get Stephanie or Billy needs to get Isaac back home before it gets to dark outside for him to play.

Billy thinks about the first time he saw Steve Harrington once again after 7 years of not seeing the now man that his heart must’ve stopped beating in his chest for at least 30 seconds when those gorgeous Bambi eyes looked at him in surprise, while he stood there will his son.

Billy remembered the last time he saw Steve before him, and Robin disappeared from Hawkins just days after he’d finally graduated from that shit show of a high school.

Heather had just told him that she was moving to Chicago with her newest girlfriend, and if Billy wanted a new place to go, a change of scenery that he could tag along with them if he wanted,

So he did,

But,

He wishes he could go back and tell himself, to shake himself silly, to just tell Steve how he feels because it would be a whole 7 years before they saw one another again, and it only happened because Heather died. And, Billy, and especially Isaac needed a change of scenery after 3 years of staying in Chicago, so they moved to California, the same state that Steve had gone too but Billy didn’t know where exactly he’d gone. All Billy knew was that California would be a positive change for them both.

And Billy enrolled his adopted son, the same one that still called him daddy, even though he’d only helped with the artificial insemination, and was never meant to be called that by the actual carbon copy of himself, but,

He enrolled him in a new school, in their new town that was by the beach he missed so much, and unknowingly left his son with Steve fucking Harrington.

When he went to pick the kid up from school that day it was the last thing he ever expected, and when his eyes met with big honey brown ones, he knew that he was still gone for the man. The man who was wearing the dorkiest yellow sweater that looked sinful on him. And had glasses on his pretty face, who looked just as surprised to see him as Isaac separated himself from where he was glued to Steve’s side and ran to him in excitement,

And,

That’s how Billy found out who Mr. H was, like the last name Harrington was so popular that it didn’t click that morning when he dropped Isaac off.

As Isaac told him all about the immense fun, he had had that day with ‘Mr. H!’ and that he got to play with glitter and paint Billy a picture and made friends. Billy smiled at his son, and kept his attention on the man interacting with at least twenty other children the same age, and waving goodbye to their parents,

And couldn’t help but look on in fond amusement at how well, he was doing with them. In the controlled chaos that was all of these children, Steve looked so comfortable and incredibly soft, it made Billy want.

Made him want bad.

When his last student ran to her mother, Steve’s eyes finally made their way back to Billy’s, and he thought he was going to have a heart attack right there, because he was walking towards him, because he was supposed to meet with his sons new teacher,

Which apparently was Steve Harrington, the man who Billy had the biggest closeted angry crush on back in high school. Who decided that fighting his feelings, and beating that beautiful face in was better than just telling him how he felt because he was scared of what he father thought, and now, now he knows that it was inexcusable, and the last time that he’d saw Steve he’d given him a simple,

“Sorry, Princess.”

He’d looked fantastic.

As Steve finally got to Billy, and his full focus was on him and his son, all Billy could think about was the moles and freckles that still went down his skin and into the underneath of his sweater, and his hair is still huge, but its pulled away from his face to keep it off of his shoulders, which gave Billy the access to look at the entirety of his throat, and

Billy wanted to touch.

He wanted to bring noises out of him, and whines when he left marks all over his throat and down his collar bones. He felt like a teenager again in that moment.

“Hargrove.” Steve’s voice had filtered those thoughts into his head full force, because Steve’s cheeks were pink, and the soft redness was flowing down his neck as the blood was coming to the surface, “I didn’t know you were in California again, let alone here.”

And Billy couldn’t tell the small smile that graced his face, because Steve’s voice was soft, and had no resentment in them, he merely sounded curious, and Billy had forgotten how much he loved his voice.

“Didn’t know you were teaching Harrington.”

And that was a goddamn lie.

Of course, he knew Steve was teaching, Max had fucking told him that, because she was friends with him on Facebook and of course all the other little shits were still on contact with Steve. He was like their extra parent, followed him around like little ducklings.

And he spoke highly of Isaac and Billy had to try and not puff his chest out because Isaac was an outgoing kid and made friends fairly well. Hearing Steve talk about his son, who he’d just met this morning with such positivity was making him proud.

Steve’s flush continued as they said goodbye,

“See you later Harrington.”

He’d make good on that promise.

--

--

He really should’ve saw it coming that he was eventually going to see Steve outside of just picking up Isaac from school. Even though that was genuinely the highlight of his sad pining filled days, of watching Steve look delicious,

The grocery store was the last place he expected it.

With Isaac in tow he’d went and planned to get their surplus of groceries for the week because Isaac was growing rapidly and was eating everything, and Billy ate a lot anyways, so shopping was a necessity at least once a week.

So, when his son took off from his side overly excited and shouting ‘Mr. H!’ at the top of his lungs he felt an unwarranted nervousness and excitement about seeing him outside of the comfort zone he’d inserted Steve into.

When he rounded into the aisle that his son went down, he found his child clinging to Steve’s leg as he balanced himself, likely to keep from falling over. Cradling a baby in his arms.

And his stomach bottomed out, suddenly he felt the need to throw up, because the child in his arms looked exactly like him. Giant brown hair, expression of sunshine all over her face. Letting out an excited scream at being moved around.

There was no doubt that this was Steve’s baby.

He prioritized his son and scolded him for running off while Steve laughed softly at his son’s excitement simply because he saw him in public.

Hearing Steve laugh made his brain filter to only that for a moment as those brown eyes looked at him,

“Billy.”

And Steve had decided that they were on a first name basis apparently because Billy wasn’t exactly prepared to hear his first name come out of that pretty mouth. He was in the cereal aisle at the grocery store for god sakes. He just couldn’t help himself as he watched those lips form his name for the first time in years as he replied,

“Steve.”

While he was having a challenge to continue the conversation his son had no issues when he’d asked,

“Is that your baby Mr. H?”

He watched as the happiest smile he’d ever seen take over Steve’s face, and he decided that he wants to keep that expression there forever, and felt a pang of jealously for whoever got to see him smile like that, for the mere mention of the baby in his arms,

“Yes, this is Stephanie.”

Stephanie

Of course, he would.

Steve and Stephanie Harrington.

It made the old Billy want to say something nasty, but he couldn’t bring himself to take that smile away as he spoke to his son in a way that made Billy’s heart beat a bit faster and his chest feel tight, as the jealously continued to unfurl through his belly.

He couldn’t take his eyes away from the little girl, as she made the cutest noises at Isaac’s excitement as he spoke to her. He had reached his hand out, and she didn’t even hesitate to grab on to his finger with her whole fist, and it made Billy sad that he wasn’t apart of this life that Steve had created.

It was no one’s fault but his own.

All he could say was,

“She’s adorable.”

She looked so much like him. Even though she had green eyes, that were beautiful, and most likely a trait she had gotten from her mother, the size of them and the shape were all Steve. They were huge, and he’d told him as much,

Got to watch in satisfaction as the blush went down his neck again.

“Exactly the same.”

He listened as Steve spoke on the phone to Robin, before that foolish hope entered his chest when Steve told him,

“Avery, her mom wasn’t ready, and I was I guess, she’s all mine.”

Many different emotions flood through his veins, he’s doing this all by himself. He lives with Robin, not Avery, the child’s mother. These thoughts round in his brain as Steve continues to stare at him, looking straight into his eyes conveying simple words that he doesn’t have to say out loud.

I’m not with anyone right now

And neither are you.

 --

--

 When Billy received full custody of Isaac, the boy was two years old.

He’d only seen the boy every so often and was being referred to as Uncle Billy, something that he was comfortable with during the time that the boy was in both of his mother’s custody.

After he found out the news of Heather and Rachels accident, he was worried about Isaac’s safety and allowed himself to cry as he cradled the small boy a couple of days later for the loss of his friends and his now son’s family.

He wasn’t prepared for the difficulty that came with raising a child but was willing to do anything that made the boy happy in his new home and tried to make him comfortable.

The first time that Isaac called him daddy, he dropped a plate on the floor in surprise.

Overtime, and after they grieved together, Billy decided that they needed to move back home and took Isaac to California so the boy would be able to get a fresh start that didn’t linger the death of his parents over his head everywhere he went.

The boy didn’t really understand the idea of death and the grieving process, but now understood that his mothers weren’t coming back home.

Billy was right to assume that the move to California would be beneficial for the both of them. They spent the days that Billy was off work at the beach and playing in the yard of the home Billy bought them both.

For the first time since he’d left Hawkins, California felt like he was home, in place where he belonged. A place where he felt safe and didn’t need to worry about the idea of his father ruining his life anymore.

 --

--

--

 Billy accidentally asks Steve out on a date three weeks later.

Specifically, he asks Steve to come over to their home for dinner.

He doesn’t even realize what he had exactly said until Steve is looking at him with a silly gleeful expression and then proceeds to give him his phone number after taking the phone Billy had held out for him and typing it in himself, then leans over in front of the school on a Friday in front of anyone who is left without a care in the world and kisses Billy on the cheek, slides the phone back into his hand, tells Isaac to have a fun weekend and walks away.

Fuck.

This is the best and worst thing that ever happened to him.

[jessmalia]

Riverdale 3x16 first thoughts

Here’s my initial thoughts on the newest Riverdale episode

Warning: Swearing, sarcasm and screaming

PS: You should not read this if you stan Betty, ship Bughead and/or think Riverdale is a genuinely good show. I would recommend going on pro tags of those things then. Or you will still read and give me hate, in that case, you’re a horrible person, fuck you.

OMG the musical numbers are even more awkward than in the last episode. How the fuck did they manage to lower that???

At least they gave Kevin more than one line to sing. He and Josie are the only actually good singers.

“Can we just... not talk about Midge?” Oh Fangs my sweet, precious, little cinnamon roll you deserve better!!!

Seriously, can they give Fangs a new love interest already??? Preferably male

“I’m playing JD, Veronica Sawyer’s bad boy love interest.” OH MY GOD THOSE HEART EYES AHHH!!!!! IF THEY KILL SWEET PEA THIS EPISODE I’M GOING TO KILL THEM (and possibly stop watching)

Why is Veronica so confused that her parents are getting a divorce??? Like, how could she not see it coming?

Seriously though, I am so happy that Hermione is finally out of that loveless marriage, I’ve been waiting for this since season 1

“What are you gonna do?” “I’m gonna take a bath.” It’s good that someone has their priorities straight

The musical numbers are so BAD

It’s like everyone is holding back

“Veronica is hot tonight!” I cringed

OH FUCK NO IS THR FARM GOING TO CORRUPT CHERYL???!!!! If they do that I'm maybe gonna be on Betty's side for once, TAKE THAT FARM DOWN!!!

"Maybe you and me are meant to be together." OH FUCK REGGIE YES VEGGIE WILL RISE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

And then they destroyed all that by saying the "e" word, ugh

“Farm-grown maple mushrooms"? Sounds like drugs to me

"They're... Transformative." Yep, definitely drugs

Honestly, Evelyn is still a more likable character than Betty

Oh fuck no, that dramatic music? Something's going to happen to Kevin

Ew, the fuck, who did that????

WAIT THE FUCK IS THAT ACTUALLY MIDGE???!!!!! They better hope not!

Turns out it was just a hallucination from the drugs, that he had taken SECONDS before

Now I’m no drug expert, but if Kevin ate a muffin with a small dose of drugs in it, that is strong enough to give him hallucinations seconds after he’s eaten it, that drug probably should’ve killed him

Especially since he probably ate more that night

"Two men have found an unexpected connection, perhaps more" Is Fangs and Kevin finally gonna happen??? Did I predict it?

"I don't think this is something we should be doing right now" they finally have some good couples, can they stick to them for a little while at least?

The fuck is happening in the hall? Are Toni and Peaches making out???

Toni's wearing red? Omg this is literally just fucking playground drama

Toni is singing “Dead girl walking”? I'm willing to forgive this ridiculous fight if this is good

TF SHE IS GOING TO HAVE A THREESOME WITH PEACHES AND SWEET PEA????!!!!!

Oh thank God, it didn't happen

OH MY FUCKING GOD IS THE CULT MARRYING KEVIN AND FANGS??????!!!!!!!

STOP TOUCHING MY SERPENT BABYS OMG

Kevin and Fangs are happening but they're also being corrupted by a cult I don't know how to feel about this

OH MY FUCKING GOD THEY KISSED!!! I SHOULDN’T BE EXITED BUT I AM, I’M SORRY!

Omg that Archosie scene is SO CUTE, and they're singing “Fight for me”???!!!!! Finally a good musical number

Wheaterby's joining the Fram now too? Oh my god why is this happening

Okay, I'm actually going to give them credit for something, the way they show how Cheryl's upbringing, and family affects her view on the world and her love life, is actually really interesting, well written, actually makes sense, and really develops her character. Let's hope they don't fuck it up.

👏STOP👏VILLAINIZING👏GLADYS👏

Oh my god even if Jughead's in the wrong he's still hurting and talking to Betty about his problems, and she's making it all about her, ugh

They're going to sing Seventeen now, my favorite Heathers song, please don't ruin it for me

AAAAAAAAANNNND they gave it to Bughead, thanks Riverdale

You're 16, Betty, get it right

Oh my gods, Cole's singing!!!! I'm sorry Cole I love you but please never do that again

Oh fuck this scene is so hard to watch I literally have to pause even few seconds

JUST STOP SINGING JUG IT HURTS TO WATCH

I skipped past the rest of the scene

Omg, Veronica! Why they giving all the horrible shit to the best characters????

God it feels weird seeing the Joneses live in the Cooper house

I should probably stop watching because I'm in school, and we're getting to the end of the episode so if someone dies I'm going to cry in front of everyone

I'm still gonna watch tho

Damn Cheryl had many flowers

Oh fuck Jughead's singing again

"Talk about watching your childhood go up in flames." I'm sure that's how many Archie comics fans feels about this show

Ew Bughead

Let’s have sex in a a car in front of the house we just lit on fire, how romantic

TF that is Edgar???? Talk about not intimidating at all

Okay that episode may have just been the worst in Riverdale history, and that’s saying something.

But at least they didn’t kill Sweet Pea.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Tall Tales- Part 1

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 1,981

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, language, minor character death, blood, you know the usual, Gabriel feels, comedy, bitchy and whiny Winchester brothers (come on, you’ve all seen the episode)

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. If you’re a junkie for this sort of thing, then a tag list is the right thing for you! If you want to be a Queen, I’ll add you to that list too! Any and all comments on these are appreciated. I really want to hear what you guys think about this one!

Feedback is the glue that holds my writing together.

Tags at the bottom

Times have been tough. Times have been going by very slowly and you haven’t taken a case where you haven’t gotten through it in a breeze. Sure, you would have challenging obstacles in your way but you usually overcame them easily with the help of the Winchesters.

However, this case, you didn’t know how to figure it out and even Sam Fucking-I’m-So-Smart Winchester doesn’t even know what to think of it. You’ve been stuck in this town, watching and waiting as people died. No one was getting any younger and you had no idea what it was.

Okay, that was a lie, you knew what it was but only until the last minute. Sam and Dean had no clue what it was and as much as you hated spending another minute in this town, they’ve been bickering every second of the day, fighting over this case and it was hilarious.

You’ve called Bobby over to try and help them, seeing as they were going out of their minds on this one. You sat on one of the beds, watching as Dean messily ate chilly cheese fries on the other bed, listening to music on a radio. You looked over at Sam to see him tiredly rubbing his temples as he stared at a book.

You would tell them what this was and then you could be on your merry way but a) it was so damn fun to watch them this way (yes, horrible, you know) and b) you missed Bobby and wanted him over here so you could have someone else to talk to other than the married couple you lived with.

“Dude. You mind not eating those on my bed?” Sam said, looking at Dean who just grinned. You looked over at him, his face messy and his fingers. It took all your strength not to go over there and lick the mess off him. But you had to be professional.

“No, I don’t mind,” Dean said with a grin, eating some more food. “How’s research going?”

“You know how it's going? Slow. You know how it would go a heck of a lot faster? If I had my computer.” Sam said, sending accusing glares towards his brother.

“Sam, he didn’t touch your laptop. I was with him that whole day and we were nowhere near it.” You said, looking at Sam.

“He did touch it. You just weren’t paying attention.” Sam said with another glare to you.

“Sam, I always pay attention to Dean. I mean, have you seen him?” You said with a smile, looking over at Dean.

“Yeah, Sammy, have you seen me? I’m attractive as hell and women can’t resist my charm.” Dean said, winking at you.

“Can you turn that down please?” Sam said, changing the topic. The music was getting annoying since all Dean ever plays was rock music. You loved the man so much but would it kill him to switch it up a little?

“Yeah, absolutely.” Dean said, turning the radio up even louder.

“You know what? Maybe, uh, maybe you should just go somewhere for a while.” Sam said loudly, his voice overpowering the music. Dean snapped and shut the radio off, glaring at his brother.

“Hey, I'd love to. That's a great idea. Unfortunately, my car's all screwed to hell.” Dean said, accusing his brother of something he didn’t do. This was entertaining and maybe you might come clean and give up but you really wanted to see where this was going. You needed Bobby here soon. You hoped he would show up quickly.

“I told you, Dean, I had nothing to do with that.” Sam argued. Dean was about to yell back at him but there came a swift knock on the door. You shot out of bed and walked over to the door, looking at the brothers.

“Boys, that’s Bobby. Okay? Can you two behave for one second?” You teased with a smirk.

“Shut up.” Sam grumbled as you pulled open the door.

“Bobby! I’m so glad you’re here.” You said pulling him into a hug. You’ve noticed him acting more soft toward you, always trying to make you happy but with the brothers, he expected more of them, make them tougher.

It was also like that with John.

“It’s good to see you again.” Bobby said with a smile, hugging you back.

“Come in.” You said after you pulled away. You shut the door when he was in and went back to the bed where you were before.

“Thank god you're here.” Deans aid, standing up and wiping his hands on his jeans to “clean” them.

“So, um, what didn't you want to talk to me on the phone about?” Bobby asked, taking a seat at the table with Sam.

“You’re going to love this.” You said with a grin.

“It's this job we're working. We weren't sure you'd believe us.” Sam started off.

“Have you met me? I can believe a lot of things.”

“Yeah, we believe you but we’ve never seen anything like this before. Not even close.” Dean said, sitting back down on the bed again.

“We thought we could use some fresh eyes.” Sam said.

“Well, why don't you begin at the beginning?” Bobby asked, looking at you.

“Don’t look at me, as much as I would love for you to hear the correct way things happened, I’m sure that Sam and Dean’s versions of this story will be much more interesting than what I can provide you with and after the week we had, I’m pretty sure I need some laughter.”

“Hey, I think our versions will be the same, I mean, we experienced the same thing, right?” Dean asked you.

“We’ll see.” You winked at him.

“So, it all started when we caught wind of an obit. See, a professor took a nosedive from a fourth story window, only there's a campus legend that the building's haunted. So, we pretexted as reporters from the local paper.” Sam started off, telling his version of the story.

“So, you question the people while Dean and I hit up the bar. Think you can manage this without us, Sammy?” You said as you walked into the bar. It was late at night and you needed to unwind.

“Seriously, Y/N, you’re just going to boss me around?” Sam asked, looking at you.

“Fine, if it makes you feel better, I’ll come with you but I’m not promising I’ll stay the entire time. Dean’s more interesting than you.” You said to Sam, grabbing Dean’s face. You pressed your lips to his, kissing his feverishly and passionately, right in front of Sam.

Dean smirked and kissed you back, pulling you in close, his hands sliding to your ass.

“Seriously, guys, come on.” Sam complained. Dean pulled away and winked at you, taking his hands off you.

“Save a seat for me.” You said with a wink, putting your hands on his chest.

“Oh, you know I will. I’ll save the whole damn bar for you.” Dean said. Sam rolled his eyes and grabbed your shoulders, pushing you to the table with the people you were going to talk with.

“Buzzkill.” You muttered, sitting down after giving the man and woman a smile. Sam was going to be doing all the talking since you didn’t want to and he agreed, saying how he was the better talker than you or Dean.

“So, you knew the professor?” Sam said, after introducing him and you to the couple. He placed a recorder down, making the whole reporter façade look real.

“Yeah, we both had him for Ethics and Morality.” The man, Curtis, said.

“Yeah, so, why do you think he did it?” Sam asked.

“Who knows? I mean, he was tenured had a wife and kids. His book is like a really big deal. Then again, who's to say it was suicide?” Jen, the girl, said, leaning in conspiratorially.

“Jen, come on.” Curtis said with an eye roll.

“What else could it be?” Sam asked.

“Well, you know about Crawford Hall?” Curtis said as if he should know it.

“No, I don’t, actually.”

“It’s a bunch of shit, actually. It’s a total urban legend,” Jen cut in, dismissing it. “Legend goes, Heather's mom went to school here, and she knew this girl who had an affair with some professor. He broke it off with this girl and she jumped out of the window and killed herself.”

“You know the girl’s name?” Sam asked.

“No, but they say she jumped from room 669. Get it? If you turn the nine upside down?” Jen said, snickering at the joke. You rolled your eyes at the immaturity levels coming from them. “Anyway, now she haunts the building and anyone who sees her, they don’t live to tell the tale.”

You got bored of this interrogation and slid your eyes over to Dean who sat at the bar, chatting up the female bartender. You hated seeing him with other women and your blood boiled at the sight of this.  

“Excuse me, Sammy.” You said, getting up and marching over to the bartender. You didn’t say a word, except grab Dean’s face and smash your lips to his. He was taken aback, yes, but he didn’t deny your lips. He kissed you back, the bartender rolling her eyes and walking away.

“Whoa, sweetheart, why so passionate?” Dean said after he pulled away.

“You know I get so jealous when I see you talking with other women.” You said, sliding into the seat next to his.

“Well, it’s a good thing you’re here. I just got us some purple nurples.” Dean said with a chuckle. You started cracking up at the name, looking at the dark liquid inside the tiny cups. Dean grinned and slid you one of them and you took a chance and down the shot, feeling the effect right away.

“Wow, that’s strong alcohol. More!” You said with a huge grin. Dean got the bartender to get you more glasses and soon, you drank half the bar, laughing up a storm with Dean. But the buzzkill had to swoop in and damage the day.

“Dean. Y/N, what are you drinking?” Sam asked, looking at the purple-blue liquid.

“I have no idea but I think they’re called purple nurples?” Dean said, burping. You busted out laughing and looked at Sam.

“That name though.” You said while laughing.

“Okay, well listen. I think maybe we should go check out the professor's office.” Sam said, dismissing the fact that you two were drunk as hell.

“Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no I can't right now, I've got some feisty little wildcat on the hook, I'm about to – zzzzp – reel her in. I'll introduce you.” Dean said, putting an arm around your shoulder.

“Dean, I already know who this is,” Sam said with an eyeroll.

“Whoa, hold the phone right there,” You said, interrupting story time. “One, I do not get that jealous. I do have self-control you know and two, I do not get that shitfaced on a case.”

“Yeah, plus, that’s not how it happened.” Dean said, glaring at Sam.

“No? So, you never drank a purple nurple?” Sam said with a serious face but you couldn’t handle it. You cracked up laughing at the name, rolling over on the bed.

“That name still gets to me.” You giggled, sitting up.

“Okay, fine, I may have done that but I don't say things like ‘feisty little wildcat’. And I wouldn’t have been so drunk as to introduce you to my own girlfriend who you live with.” Dean said with an eyeroll.

“Then how did it happen?” Sam asked, crossing his arms.

“Alright, while you were talking with those two kids, Y/N and I were talking with the bartender about some local ghost stories.” Dean said, starting to tell his version of the story.

The Queens:

@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith  @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @roxyspearing @supercalifragilistic26 @mishamigose @cobrakai1967  @essie1876 @wishedworld @crispychrissy @laqueus-ludovicus @nostalgic-uncertainty @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @potterhead1265 @starswirlblitz @untitled39887 @ta-n-ja @deans-fallen-angel-boy @scarletluvscas @notnaturalanahi @tahbehonest @stay-in--place @dreaminofdean @posiemax @donnaintx @mikey1822 @alexandriajanae4 @li-ssu @just-another-winchester @obsessivecompulsivespn @emoryhemsworth @newtospnfandom @mizzezm @goldenolaf25

The Dean Beans:

@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester  @winchesterandpie @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @carribear31 @tacklesackles @oreosatmidnight @not-naturalfangirl @missselinakitty @iam-a-cutiepie  @kristendansmith @milo-winchester-4ever @jensenackesl @codyshany316 @pheonyxstorm @helllonearth @juniorhuntersam @pouterpufftrain @ruprecht0420 @shut-ur-face-and-get-in-the-car @carriemichelle2012 @aubreystilinski

Series Rewrite Junkies:

@helllonearth @amyisabellal @deanwnchstr @caseykitten6 @quixoticcat @supernaturalblogging @notmoose45 @crowleysminion @mina22 @tahbehonest @hadleymcallister2177 @destielsangels @spnhybrid @oreosatmidnight @valerieshubin @seninjakitey @flyonlittlewinchester  @aubreystilinski

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

One morning I awoke early

I often slept on the couch at Bobbys. If I fell asleep in my room or he carried me there, I often went back to the living room.

.....******......******

I had a tiny room but it was good enough and Bobby made it real nice, taking my stuff from the big house. But it reminded me of my old life. My life where people left me.

My dad went to the Navy SEALS and has special missions he couldn't take me on. He knew Bobby and I did better work on our own. My mom was murdered and I was stupid enough to demand to be taken to the scene of her and her two friend's dead bodies.

Jesse went crazy and his wife went Lulu. Both left, Jesse after he threw me out into the streets. So i didn't like my old bedroom stuff. Id like my bed again when my dad came home to visit and i saw him sleep in it a couple times so i knew he was alright. That would be fine then.

Bobby had washed the sheets and blankets and they smelled all new again and I couldn't smell my dad. There wasn't a quite distinct scent but more of a feeling... It was still there but was covered in the snuggle fabric softener and tide. The smell wss distracting. Good but not my dad.

I freaked at Bobby about it and he said it was fine, he still had the bedding from my dads bed. So I used his old army wooly not so soft but itchy scratchy with a hint of softness under... Like my life... Id carry it back and forth from my room. Bobby was kind enough, if he moved my sleeping body to cover me with the obscene fabric.

He warned me though that my dad had asked him specifically to wash it and he told me "if your dad wants to beat me up because i didn't you will have to protect me"

When my dad was due to arrive, i left the front door open and put a nightlight in my room so he could see for the bed to get dressed and go to sleep. Like an adult i thought. But my dad thought like a parent.

I thought I heard him creep in, drop his bag and say "finally I am home!"

But I dreamed about him coming home so many times I wasn't sure he did. "I guess ill use the bathroom then go on in to sleep"

Uh huh good one dreaming that one is new, I thought. I heard the light flick on and saw the light fill the hall, so I sat up in case he wanted to get something to eat, Bobby always did but rarely did my dad. But it was a new house and life was certainly different with Bobby. Honest. Small and I was left alone a lot. So I rarely played. Just watched the cars drive by, watch their patterns repeat. In the afternoons I'd sit on the porch and watch the other side of the street while I had lunch in case anyone worried, i sure did. And they could see me do it, too. Often I ate something normal like a bowl of ravioli.

........***,,,,,,&----''

Some hobag came a few times looking for Bobby "oh honey Bobby ain't home, his car ain't here"

I got up in went in the house. I didn't say anything to her. It wasnt her business. Her life. Wasn't mine and we didn't need no women ruining it. Yeah it was small but big enough for 3 or 4 more people. But Hell no. Not her. Not some bitch to tell me what to do or what I already knew. I banned Bobby from seeing her. Didn't stop him from going over and fucking her a few times. But we had long deep talks about romance in our life and how it wasn't happening. Mostly me to him. "Just give her a try. I did I kind of like her"

"Lets see her house. Lets go over when she ain't home" we did. "Sit down Bobby. Is this where you wanna live? You wanna live like this? Look at this stuff. Does she even dust? We would die in here. Not only do you have to clean after me and you And sometimes your brother but also her everyday. You wanna clean after this pig?"

"Alright let me look"

He looked at the kitchen stove. Noted some spots needing cleaning. Looked around. I could tell he was willing. The bathroom light flicked on. "Yuck. Oh alright honey I can clean that up after you. We all got to use the toilet Any way. What did you do to the sink!?!?! Lets go see the laundry..."

My heart was pounding. This was my only go to. I hoped to god this would get her out our lives but I had a feeling...

He came rushing down the hall... "Lets go" head down. Job done.

"But Bobby no!"

At the door he said strict "lets go right now! Get the hell out of here!"

"Yes!!! Bobby! Yes!!!!" I jumped up and ran to the door with glee. That was a this place is a dangerous dump demand. But sometimes he made a plan to go back in. Those times he strolled. This one he walked so fast i thought he had to take a massive water shit. He pulled his keys from his pocket and opened his car door. "Huh?!?! Bobby what you're gonna chase after her?!?!!? We aren't dressed for church besides she just goes to the bar!"

"Get in the fucking car!! We are out of here!!"

Last time I saw that look on his face was when he said I couldn't go to my mom's crime scene of her dead body. But this time. This was a celebratory moment.

$$$@$$$$$@$$$$@$$$$

My dad and Jesse overruled and I got in the car and rolled into a ball. "See? She can't handle it!" So when he got in. I climbed up into the front seat. Fixed the collar on his shirt, pulled his seat belt on and leaned against him, hugging his arm. "You don't want mom to see you looking dirty" so he directed the rest of the car to clean up. "I know shes dead but she has eyeballs and the rest don't. She will tell her evil friends on you then what? They will want to have sex with the dirty boys!"

Jesse messed his hair up a bit and my dad told him fix it...

"Not my mom Jesse. The other ones"

"I know"

"They're dead"

"Not for long"

Bobby who was disgusted angry turned back in,his seat.. Realizing the Zulululu already stole Jesse and took a look at my dad... Whom he looked like he was crunching numbers with every grind of his teeth.

I poked his side with my feet then put them on his leg "hey who are you?"

He poked my foot in a way only he did. Under the covers to remind me not to kick him in the face.

"Huh?! What?! I wasn't even paying attention. Who do you think put my wife there? Do you know? Jesse what's going on with you? I missed the conversation but i feel the car tension has something to do with you"

Jesse rolled down a window. Then Bobby then my dad. We went with wind blown hair. "Don't worry. My mom likes the look. Calls it sexy. Wind blown marketing should always be a thing she's always said. It's alright y'all, lets go see"

We started to walk... "Really she says the air conditioner is too cold but likes the wind chill factor with high winds."

"Did" reminded bobby, trying to rush ahead to block me. Like I wasn't only 2 and didn't use my size to my advantage. Mental note: avoid bobby, to through the legs of the others. Bobby would block me and squish my head. He's done it before. But the feeling of fear in the crowd led me back to Bobby and i got squished "hey! You'll mess my hair! Dad hurry! Can you pick me up!" I let my foot drag out to get bobby back cause that was a mad heavy thigh squish and it actually hurt.

"Don't kick bobby. Come over here. Yeah yeah ill carry you since Bobby didn't want you to come And tried to squish your brain meat out like you're a cadaver. Yeah yeah I know. I saw. Bobby can't handle it all since his wife died. It's only been 3 years. Haven't you ever noticed you only eat men and never any woman?"

I hadn't realized that it wasn't only men in the government program. I just thought women didn't die as often...

I looked back at Bobby and i saw him as a man whom had a life before me. Something I knew but hadn't realized had impacted him so thoroughly. I guess we both had something in common.

Loss.

And it was written all over his face.

I never saw it that way. I always saw it as patiently waiting.

When I waited i thought nothing. Felt clear sunshine. The birds singing and life dancing.

A cloud moved and put Bobby into the sun. He walked out of it and into the shade with a tint of annoyance.

I never would have moved. Just bathed in the sun until i burned. I never saw a difference before. Bobby used to cry a lot at our house. Mom would always say "he's different than us" I had known his wife had died but I never did understand. I knew what different meant. But Bobby was my friend.

But now I saw. Bobby and i, we didn't see the world the same

"He doesn't want you to know how he feels, he's scared. He doesn't want to lose you and or me. So don't just mind him"

"He can't see like me. He doesn't like the sun or th3 birds chirping. I bet he can't even build a sand castle"

"Sabrina what the hell are you talking to me about? Is Bobby dark and demented?"

"He doesn't like the sun burning his skin and I do" I whispered...

Bobby hasn't been in my life a long time. While I still like the heat, I don't like the reminding burn. I don't like the pain. I've had enough. I can't take anymore. Bobby was 22... I was older than him.. It began in my face... I couldn't handle my face being burnt. I was 23. Now I can't handle my arms or legs and that's been 5 years And more.

I was 7 when I couldn't handle multiple places burnt. My back and shoulders, face, and arms.

Only one place, no more.

.... ..... .... .....

I ran around the car feeling the worried face on my look but th3 joy and cheer still in my heart. I trusted Bobby and I knew him like th3 back of my hand I could piece it altogether.

I jumped in with enthusiasm. "No, no you dont have to put your seat belt on. Im not like your parents only when your intuition says."

Bobby is different now. He always puts his seat belt on. If i can get away with it. I don't. But I have my daughter and all other kids buckle up. However when I'm stressed or extra happy I buckle up automatically. Barbara, Heathers mom taught me that one. "Don't want stress to kill you. And don't want to lose your life on the happiest day of"

Plus then evil has no idea of what kind of day you're having.

"Well then Bobby where the Hell are we going? I feel I should be holding something. A bear or something" I looked out the window "you sure are going fast" I looked in Bobbys always immaculate clean car, hoping he might have something "there there a newspaper, that might work" I held it like a bouquet of flowers, thinking how we had ran errends for my mother's funeral.

"We're going to change your mother's last name to Jennings for the news paper so her in laws can take note. Is that alright with you?"

"These flowers sure are pretty. But how are they going to know?"

"They might not. But at the same time, they may. So we will see."

"Hmm idk. No. I don't want any candy"

"Ok"

He just drove past the mini-mart where Matt Hagan's dad used to work. The sun shining brightly upon it, saying we needed to still go

"But hey weren't you going to get a coffee?"

"Yep. Hold on to that thing" And he grabbed a vase. Sometimes it seemed he talked to himself out loud. Gave him self commands and orders. I'd learn they weren't for just him. But also for me and him. I found that out when I spilled his coffee a different day and I expected him to grab it, not realizing his hands were full with a sandwich and a steering wheel. "What do you want me to do let us die so I can just hold my coffee!?! I have a sandwich, too" he wasn't mean. And he didn't yell. But I cried. I felt so bad for spilling his coffee. Maybe I hadn't had enough sleep or enough food. Maybe I hadn't told Bobby enough truth so he could protect me from his brother. I remember I didn't just have a stressful leak, I had a full out bawl. And he said he hadnt seen me cry like that since my mother died and I cried into her flowers and told him nothing was wrong, he had just forgot his coffee.

I wanted to tell him what his brother did. Why I closed and locked the door at night so he couldn't come in. Why I checked all the rooms to make sure I didn't lock his brother in. I needed to sleep and my brain was getting foggy.

"You need sleep?"

I nodded and trudged to the couch. Found him cleaning the car floor "you need help?"

"No. You need to go back to sleep. You just woke up I can tell. I know there's been something wrong with you. You've been safety sleeping and I don't know why. And you need to tell someone the truth. No you can go to sleep in my bed or in yours but stay off the couch and that's an order okay? Do you hear? Now come here and give me a hug if you want to"

Safety sleeping is 20 minutes to an hour every hour and half to three hours. On average.

So he tickled me and made me giggle and asked if I wanted to sleep or help him clean

"Sleep was made for me! Much better than cleaning!" It was a made up saying for the neighbor next door... Why her room was such a disaster. He shook his head and blushed and told me to go on and he would talk to me later.

That gross gut feeling came in and I saw a Jupiter on a bike riding to Bobby to warn me ego was cunning I ran back to Bobby, "if your brother comes over dont let him in! Okay for me! We are going to have to eat him! And it's one of those blah blah blah feelings when you're cooking and tastes better and head cleaner when it's all gone"

"A raper? Alright I'll tell him we're moving and to get his stuff, ill get a new car from storage. Don't c worrythis one's not ruined."

I didn't have to tell him what his brother did and he understood. And he could protect me appropriately.

I hugged his neck "okay? And I'm sorry! And I might be wrong okay, I just can't have him around me when I'm safety sleepin' on"

"No I've always knewn. It was before my wife died. But he still keeps coming around so I let him, although I've known I've hated him for years. But raping. That one is new. He must have just started it"

"Uh huh. Yeah and on me. He didn't put it in me though but he got creamy and on my dads blanket so I cut out all the pieces that were wet with three scissors. Not a knife nor the bouy. I love you though and c you'll always be like my dad" I hugged him again ahs kissed his cheek. Paused to watch a car pass.

"Why do you always watch the cars, Sweetie?"

"You never know when they'll need me. And I'm missing two. I haven't seen them yet all week"

He looked startled. "Do you want to go look for them?"

"No I want to get sleeping. They been waiting v all week anyway. i learned that with my "mom and me." Rush around around to get to Iraq after 10 weeks only to find out c you hate the bitch."

He shook his head and laughed

I was playing with a cat from the neighborhood. I'd always put it on the porch then offer it to go in, it never did. But it knew it was welcome as a safe place to go and visit. Sometimes it would meow at the door to remind me it was lunch time and time to go out and watch the streets. He would lay and purr and I'd pet him while on my watching shift. Sometimes I'd take him in and wrap him in my dads blanket like a baby. Those were days I didn't feel so good. Depressed and sleepy they'd say. And I'd fall asleep with my adult baby cat all Heathcliff style in my arms.

It was patient and kind and didn't at all mind. I guess he needed somebody as much as I did. He'd close his eyes and sleep if I moved he opened them wide until I settled. When Bobby came home the cat would leap out and run out the door to go back where it was loved.

One time a big black van tried to cat nap him. He was my working cat. And that shit was not acceptable! He worked hard and for what!? Just a few pieces of human jerky and snuggles and hugs? I ran outside barefoot and fought the 5 guys in the gravel loose rock street. Bobby took out a shot gun and did a blast to the air. "Come on lets go!"

I saw another guy with the same gray army blanket as my dad with the cat wrapped in get in the back seat. I jumped and dove in "get me my cat! I need it back!!" I started hitting them with my hands. He dropped the cat and blanket. The cat ran out and jumped on the back of a seat, saw it was all clear and ran out. Waited and looked at me.

"Oh alright I'm coming, but I'm stealing this blanket! I had to cut all holes in it for perverts like you touching me and it! I hope you burn in Hell one day sir, you stupid fool" I heard laughing as they shut the door to drive off. At seeing Bobbys face I dropped the Blanket. Why? Why did I just do that? To the people most important to him!? Over a cat!? I must have scared himto death!

He went over to pick it up "oh don't worry about me! I had the driver pinned up along the side. He didn't like having a shot gun. Under his chin and being punched in the chestand gut."

"Oh okay but are you okay? You didn't get your knuckles bruised or anything?"

"No they're alright. We're getting you a dog. I'm checking the newspaper tomorrow"

"If that's okay with kitty. I'll go ask" he rubbed his body in between my legs, I picked him up and looked in his eyes "a dog! Do you know what that is!?" I walked over to Bobby "dad idk if he really knows can you check?"

"Dad?" He looked behind him. I didn't usually call him dad but I just had a feeling... I saw hiseyes look sad like my dad's. Bobby is usually about food and stuff and getting my room ready and laundry but a dog!?! That's a dad thing. And kitty only came in the house if I ate a piece if a steak of my mom that morning then I wrapped the car like a baby Heathcliff so maybe three Doug would be like a son to him. The cat it was like a doll that purred. That was all. A doll to me. Like company cause the cat sometimes watched TV then went to sleep... But I tried not to get attached. Sometimes he was busy and didn't come to see me but when he did, I was grateful. I didn't hate to be alone but that was my Bobby. Even if he hated me, He still loved me because he had to. But that cat? That cat came by choice. Alright. Alright, I did feed it. But even it liked ravioli made by Chef Boyardee. And it still hung around after lunch, then by 3 or sometimes even 2 or 1 and a half in the deepheart of summer and it was too hot to be outside. We would go inside and it would come with me by choice. Bobby always said "never pickup an animal and take it inside unless it's being chased by a storm or hurt by a car"

So I didn't! Really hot days I put a plastic covered popsicle in the bathroom sink for kitty to lick and cool off with. Then a always took some human jerky to share on the sofa

Sometimes not in winter I had to vacuum off the sofa when I saw Bobby in his black uniforn with cat furballs stuck to his back. Then I would put my blanket in the dryer with the clean old baby shoes to beat the hair out.

And in winter I had would rush to put the cat bowl or water in the sink. So bobby wouldn't kick it over and complain. He liked to watch TV and deink so he had to have it in a certain spot or ue wouldn't drink! Right by the sink. Exactly right in the mess of Bobbys walking pathway.

"Why don't you put the water on the table honey that way the cat can see and drink"

"You told me not to retrain him -- any animal that walks into our house that's not ours and he has another home. I don't feed him. Only snacks. 2 ravioli and some slices of jerky we share"

"Let me see how much"

"Just these pieces on the jar on the counter. That's why I asked you to put it next to this sink so I could reach it easy. See? I just go like this on this chair and lean across and dangle. Get my shirt all wet if you forget"

"You could go the other way"

"That's no fun. And kitty doesn't mind. He just sits right here and watches then jumps over to my seat and Waits for me to pick him up in my blankie. Huh don't you kitty? Oh he thought we were gonna get him a treat. Could you get him one?"

"Alrightie"

"Here you get this strip" I ripped off a narrow piece of human jerky about 3 inches long and put it in his mouth. He grabbed it with both paws like a baby does a bottle and nibbled.

Bobby was awestruck, "let me look at this thing." I handed him over. "No wonder you dove in after this thing. It's like your baby" he turned off the tv and watched cat look around then turn it back on and kitty went back to nibbling happiky. "Let me see this thing that had to be a fluke" he turned off the tv again and the cat reached out and slapped his cheek. Then closed his eyes like I'm gonna kill this bitch if he don't stop. "Well look at that he slapped me! Does he do this to you?÷?!"

"No I don't turn the tv off on him. Sometimes I change the channels but that's to watch Ma Vida that's in Spanish but its a home cooking show but I can follow along so I can help you when you come home and we are cooking and you're bored of the same old thing--"

"I --- what?!?!?÷"

"Then usually when Mazda Vista comes on after, he gets drowsy and usually he's asleep by the time its over"

"But that's a realtor show!!"

"I know and but I like it here, don't worry. Its small but not too small."

"Its a travel trailer with boxes attached to it! We can't even drive it! Its been,destroyed÷ and it leaks!"

"But that's okay. Me and kitty like it. I have a feeling,he has a bigger house down in the middle. Oh lookie he's sleeping. Here lets move his thing. I just put it down here in front of him. He's had a hard day being kidnapped and everything."

"He slapped me because he wanted to watch tv and couldn't then went to sleep!?!?!"

"Well yeah. Lets watch Mazda Vista"

I don't know what it was with the show. It made me want to look out the window to watch the highway and see the patterns. Out that way i was missing four but two more were added and that i knew was not good. After today I'd probably have 3 more and usually they drifted away and quit coming again only to come again sporadic then again some other times also when I was losing other people.

....

.

So they finished loading and seemed to be looking at me so I spun to my back against the wall. Then slid down and looked out around the curtain. Were those guns? Yup. Pointed at me. Only two years old. Maybe I shouldn't pretended to be Bobbys height by standing on the cushion side of the coffee table.

Bobby was still asleep, the cat really must had knocked him out. That's happened to me too some ladies claiming to be from church, me holding the cat, I remember hearing them after I woke up from my nap and seeing their pamphlets about God wanting me, tucked in the door and on the floor

...... ....

It made me scared. I felt stark white and I saw the cat staring at me from the couch. I checked the clock. It wasn't time to wake up from his nap yet. It was half past two, not nearly 3. Just one notch past the half, that meant 35. 2:35 Bobby would say. I thought the cat would be purring or pacing back and forth, but it was just there in the blankie. Looking.

I ran to him "oh kitty! That was so scare! I think I'll shut the door for the rest of today, at least until my Bobby gets home!" Kitty closed his eyes to sleep and I knew it was the truth of what to do. "Okay Kitty I even locked it. No don't worry I know he will need his key and today is Wednesday so he will probably have his groceries. I mean groceries for like you and me, then I'll go and open it. Usually I hear his car so I know it's him... Kitty went to sleep and so did I. Later I felt paws on my face. "Huh? What? What? Oh is he?! Oh do you know his car sounding too? Oh you are too good kitty! Too good! Come on lets go see! Hold on. No. I feel something else is out there lets wait till we hear full Bobby on the porch. What do you mean meow? You think we should not wait? I guess. Yeah yeah you're right, what if... He could be in danger too. If he is... But right now I want to hold you but if I can't ill have to put you down. I have a feeling it will be okay. I'll just open the door. Yeah I know I'm just peeking. So bobby always told me the strongest part of us is our feet when standing at the door so always remember that. Yeah I know. Tells, but he hasn't told me in awhile so Is it told still? Yes but not always told because he's not dead yet. I'll have to ask Bobby. That was too many words in a row. I need a comma or something and I sure couldn't hear it in my head. Idk why I can't see Bobby. Oh I can see his shadow!" A Jupiter turned to look at me "Oh I can see those men! Can other people see them kitty?"

I was busy looking out and i felt his two paws on my face and then I looked at him and saw that he and nodded and closed his eyes then I saw some Hell. "In their sleep? In their nightmares?" The cat snuggled down and purred but this time I felt it was laughing.

I looked out and Bobby kept saying no and shaking his head. "Im sorry no. I'm not going to. Then You tell her!"

"Oh I think I know what it is." I grabbed the phamplets off the stereo stand and went outside and just stood

"Did they get you?"

"No the cat saved me. You mean the ladies right?"

"Did you get a good look at them?"

A Jupiter turned to me and apologized saying how they didn't know if I knew and just wanted to speak to Bobby about it. But my pale face left knowledge that I knew. He ruffled my hair.

"These 3 ladies came to the door. The other soulmate looked for me and they tried to get in with a screwdriver but they couldn't. They heard the cat scream and car doors opening and shutting. They said "oh shit!" And took off in their car. A silver Mercedes-Benz and the meanest one was driving. They weren't all thin but close enough their license plate number was C3J4alcatraz9."

"They will be going to Tuscaloosa. Okay we will see you later Bobby. We will catch up. Thanks to you kid!"

"No not a problem. Manana!"

"She's been watching Spanish on T.v. did you know? She's looking brighter! You know you'll be alright! Those ladies they won't get you thanks to your other soul!" As they flew off Bobby sat on the porch steps and called me to him, he pulled me into his lap in a big hug, so much I could barely look out. Kitty jumped out and ran to watch the Jupiters fly off and then came back around, rubbed on Bobbys back all kinds to say "I gots you dad" then climbed back into my lap to settle down.

He had asked me how the cat saved me. And I told him usually I dont pay much attention when he falls to sleep but that day I had and it made me drowsy like when I couldn't sleep and I would look at my mom or dad's face and it would help me ease into sleep better. I explained I was just sitting up and looking down. And yeah the ladies could had seen me.

He said he had wondered why the door was shut and was getting frustrated that it was and Jupiter wasn't saying I had been taken. He was so worried I felt tears on my head and ears from his eyes.

So when Kitty came he said "so you saved my girl hu" and he held his head high with a smizle and purred. And bobby kissed him on the nose and between the eyes. "Alright y'all its been a long day and as you see I didn't even shower"

"But you didn't even give him a tight squeeze! You remind him you love him and you are thankful for his love, here ill give you one and you carry these in and ill make us some raviolis, you can have some of mine. Its okay. You always buy me enough! And you can take your shower while i cook! Come on Bobby its okay! Oh you want to come in, too, miss kitty? Its okay! Bobby we will have to share! 2 pieces each and she likes the gravy!"

"I call it a girl she tells me its a man and then she calls it Miss Kitty" he said to himself.

Right when Bobby was finishing, a Jupiter flew down, "bobby they're not going to Tuscaloosa! They're right down behind those trees! They have men and they're camping!

[bentfire]

85 questions game

Rules: Answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

tagged by @madi-starlight  thanks!! i’m procrastinating and this was a v nice distraction

i’m gonna tag @zoetekohana @zaatanna @puddingmcmuffin @mininjas @fireonallwires @distopianpixie + anyone else who wants to, sry i’m shit at tagging people in these things

the last

01. drink: water

02. phone call: to a local restaurant for food delivery bc i was too lazy to cook

03. text message: one of my friends is obsessed w/ lisa frank so i sent her the link to the lf tarot cards

04. song you listened to: "dinosaur” - akmu

05. time you cried: last week probably. my best friend and i currently aren’t talking and i’ve been taking it pretty hard lately.

06. dated someone twice: yup

07. kissed someone and regretted it: not really

08. been cheated on: yuuuuup

09. lost someone special: my childhood dog, balki. i’ve lost all my grandparents, but none of those hit me anywhere near as hard as my dog, honestly.

10. been depressed: i mean i go through phases where i’m sad? but i think to say i was depressed would be embellishing it.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: almost every time tbh. unless i’m home drinking alone, then i know when i’ve hit my limit. but if i’m out with friends i usually don’t realize i’m ~gone until like....... i’m way fuckin gone

3 favourite colours

12. turquoise!!

13. green

14. b l a c k

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: i don’t rly think so

16. fallen out of love: never been in love!

17. laughed until you cried: oh yeah

18. found out someone was talking about you: no! but i wouldn’t be surprised if my coworkers do lmao

19. met someone who changed you: nnnnnno

20. found out who your friends are: regrettably

21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: yup!

General:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: the vast majority of them? i don’t use fb anymore but i honestly don’t think i added anyone on there i hadn’t met. OH there’s a few tumblr friends on there, but i think only three maybe that i haven’t actually met.

23. do you have any pets: yep! a dog, khloe.

24. do you want to change your name: i used to?? i mean. i’m not in love with my name. heather is kinda ..... lame tbh. but i mostly go by nicknames so it doesn’t bother me too much

25. what did you do for your last birthday: i don’t think i did anything, actually. 

26. what time did you wake up: noon. ooops. but i didn’t fall asleep until almost 5am soooo

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: probably working out. that’s usually the time of night i finally force myself to lmao

28. name something you can’t wait for: young justice!!!!! getting my hair/cut dyed in a couple days! i ordered new glasses and i’m excited for those to come in!!

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: a year and a half ago

31. what are you listening to right now: the crickets chirp 

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: i work in a retail pharmacy so yaaaaa probably on a daily basis, there’s a zillion ppl named tom/thomas

33. something that is getting on your nerves: blogs w/ impossible to find back buttons!! i’m trying to scroll through your blog like pls don’t make me work for it

34. most visited website: tumblr, youtube, ulta

35. hair color: blonde

36. long or short hair: medium?? it’s a couple inches past my collarbone

37. do you have a crush on someone: vaaaaguely. there’s a dude i semi-work with and he’s just so gosh darn nice?? he’s coming back to work with us for a few days and its Glaringly Fucking Obvious to my coworkers i like him so when head boss dude told me he was coming back he announced it in front of allllll my coworkers so they could laugh at how badly i blushed. i hate that i’m fucking obvious!!! but at least he doesn’t know lmao

38. what do you like about yourself: i like to think i’m pretty funny. also my hair. eyes. booty. not to be totally self-involved but tbh i really love my toosh.

39. piercings: two in each ear and a nose ring!

40. blood type: i probably bleed kpop at this point

41. nickname: benny, peetah, pikachu, little bit

42. relationship status: single, thank fuck. i like my freedom too much.

43. zodiac: libra.

44. pronouns: she/her

45. favourite tv show: AVATAR: THE LAST DAMN AIRBENDER, young justice, voltron (i hate putting voltron next to those two though bc no offense but like....... voltron could never ever compare to how glorious a:tla/yj are)

46. tattoos: none! i’m debating getting one before my bday in october though

47. right or left handed: right

48. surgery: i had my gall bladder removed when i was 15

50. sport: i was a goalie in soccer for years!

51. vacation: like dream vacation?? australia. california. vegas. seoul. 

52. pair of trainers: apparently trainers = tennis shoes????? idek these things. i have a white pair of keds that i wear almost daily bc work

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: the last thing i ate was a couple apple slices?? idk what this is asking

54. drinking: waaaater

55. I’m about to: try to get some sleep

56. waiting for: sleepiness to hit me tbh

57. want: money. to kiss a pretty girl. to have my own house.

58. get married: maybe? i honestly can’t imagine myself caring about someone enough to wanna marry them though. and if i ever did no wedding pls thanks.

59. career: pharmacy technician!

WHICH IS BETTER:

60. hugs or kisses: hugs

61. lips or eyes: lips

62. shorter or taller: TALLER tho it aint hard bc im way too short

63. older or younger: i guess older? 

64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms

65. hookup or relationship: iiiiiii guess relationship? 

66. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker duh

HAVE YOU EVER:

67. kissed a stranger: i don’t think so

68. drank hard liquor: yaaaa

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: nope

70. turned someone down: yupyup

71. sex on the first date: lmao yes

73. had your heart broken: i’m currently mourning the loss of question 72 so yes?? but truthfully yeah. i wouldn’t say my heart was broken as that’s melodramatic af. but there was a dude i could’ve really seen myself falling for and it didn’t pan out and that was probably the saddest i’ve ever been over anyone.

74. been arrested: nope. but i have been pulled over by the cops five times in one night. four?? maybe it was four times idk

75. cried when someone died: my dog, yeah. 

76. fallen for a friend: i’ve had crushes but def never fallen.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

77. yourself: sometimes

78. miracles: not really

79. love at first sight: lust, yeah. love, nope.

80. santa claus: nope

81. kiss on the first date: i actually used to be anti-anything on the first date, but that’s mostly bc it takes me a long time to warm up to people and feel comfortable enough around them to do anything. but the last girl i dated i did literally everything with on the first date so ?????? guess that shits out the door

82. angels: not so much

OTHER:

84. eye colour: mine?? blue. kind of a greyish blue.

85. favourite movie: the first thing that came to mind was ‘forgetting sarah marshall’ tbh

[blownoffsa]

meant to be yours.

small drabble, mainly from veronica’s pov based around yo girl and meant to be yours. 

please ask before reblogging!

Keep it together. Keep it together.   Feet kissed the ground for a split second as she carried herself further and further away from Westerberg, advancing near her own home.Martha was probably dying. Martha could have died, and this one would be all her fault. No one else, no boyfriend with poisoned intentions or cruel friends – her. She wasn’t just becoming a Heather. She was becoming a murderer. The ghosts of her past, literal and figurative, took form while taunting her. Telling her to keep her shit together, to hold it together like she had so desperately tried to before. 

She had admittedly done a remarkable job at pretending to be okay when it came to people she hardly cared about, while she was under the influence of those who towered above her. But now that she had grown from the very foundation that the one she swore she would never become she had crashed back down.

Electric, red, pulsating beams seemed to hold her back, shackle her arms behind as she struggled. No Escape, No Escape.Veronica’s running on fumes, now. Veronica’s totally fried.Exhaustion didn’t begin to cover the feelings running themselves to death in a crowded mind. Heather, Kurt, Ram, Martha, everyone who has died in might die... She needed to get away from the one climbing up her ladder. Climbing up her ladder, holy shit, he was going into her room. He was going to be there, probably armed, and she would die. He would kill her, there is no one that he wouldn’t or couldn’t kill. Heather grew a wicked smile and laughed, cackles roaring in her mind as Kurt and Ram hovered expectantly, commentating unnecessarily about the happenings. The closet, the closet, the CLOSET. Her legs picked up faster as she ran to the only place she could think of for safety. Back collided against the wall, a single light hanging from the ceiling. She brought a blanket up close to her chest, his voice ringing outside the door.

         “KNOCK KNOCK! So sorry to burst in through the window... Dreadful etiquette, I know.”  She could practically taste the bitterness in his voice. It was palpable. Then again, Jason Dean always loved his irony. She thought back to the night of the party, before all seemed lost. Before anyone had died. It was a brash decision, one that she would be unable to truly get over. But the night was heaven in a Hellhole. It was magical. It was just the two of them. No world, no pain. Bodies intertwined, free. What a slam back to reality his arm was against her door.

“Get OUT of my HOUSE.”            Her voice tried to be strong but it came out as scared, broken. The very dark tone that she had loved not even weeks ago was now corrupted, turned into something that she would never be able to get out of her mind. He spoke again, knowing that she was hiding in the closet. Slyly telling her to open the door. Poison. He was poison. A wolf in Wolf’s clothing, one that would act like a sheep to the Sheep. She knew what he was now. She was sure of it.   “I’ll scream, and my parents will call the police.”   

           ...Maybe jail would help him. Maybe it would change the things she tried to change. Or maybe he was too damaged to be changed because he never learned how. That was when she heard a lighter tone, something reassuring, forgiving.  “All is forgiven, baby! Come on. Get dressed, you’re my date for the pep rally tonight!”

Date? He was coming up there to kill her. She was next, she was very aware that she was next. Veronica was confused, scared, and acted out of impulse.  “What--? WHY?”

“Our classmates thought they were going to sign a petition... you gotta come out here and see what they really signed!” 

           All of the color previously in her face drained. She knew it. He wouldn’t change, and he was proud of this fact. He was over the fucking Moon he had almost succeeded in whatever act of heroism he would claim. He began to make her feel guilty, telling her that she treated him like trash, that she should be dead. But now he claimed to blame it on high school. Not the fact that he was a God damned murderer. Not the fact that he was not sane. He pushed the blame. Anyone other than he. JD went on, talked about how he hit the wall and started to cry, and she could feel her heart break. Not for herself, but her him. For the boy that never got a chance. He knew how to play her, even now.     AND SO I BUILT A BOMB—

           ...Bomb. He was going to blow up the fucking school. All of that exposition for this reveal. She was desperate for a chance to change him one last time, to convince him. Grasping at imaginary straws. He began to plead. Telling her that they were meant to be. “Don’t give up on me now, finish what we have begun. I was meant to be yours.” A command, softened by a broken tone. 

Her hand reached for the knob. One last shot. He was softening up, right? She could possibly convince herself of it one last time. That is, until he went right back to where he started. Quickly.                             Well. So much for that bitter fantasy.

Her hand retracted its reach from the door, partially thankful for her being able to snap back into this harsh reality, those sadness did creep in through cracks. She wished she could open the door and convince him that all would be okay, that all would be truly forgotten. But she also knew where she stood. On top of the chair, tying a blanket – makeshift noose with a grip on her waist – around her. If she could convince him that she was dead, she would have some freedom to plan what she needed to plan, to mull over in her head the past couple of weeks and the repercussions.

“YOU WERE MEANT TO BE MINE.”   Came the possessive yell from the other side of the door, a slam to the closet where she stood. “I AM ALL THAT YOU NEED. YOU – YOU CARVED OPEN MY HEART. YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME HERE TO BLEED... VERONICA.”    The name ripped through the house, it’s a wonder that her parents hadn’t been alarmed sooner. His voice must be hoarse, and her parents didn’t truly seem to care. If something would go wrong, something too tight, she could die. 

                             She was ready.

A bang through what she could only assume to be a fist to the door.   “Open the door, please. Veronica, open the door. Veronica, can we, can we not fight anymore? Please? Can we not fight anymore? Listen, listen.” His voice became soft, and she felt her heart melt again, bleed again. She would not budge.  “I know you’re scared. I’ve been there!”   Had he truly been in her position? What had his father done to him before? She felt awful about the things she couldn't fix, it ate up her insides. Guilt for things she had never done.   “I’m your ticket. I can set you free.”   Something akin to a whine became his voice, losing it quickly. Quickly fading.   “Veronica, don’t make me come in there.”    He’s counting to three. She had three more seconds to make this right. Three seconds – or, if she knew JD –which she did... less. 

One. 

Two. 

FUCK IT.

Gun shot at the knob of the door as he kicked it down, the same moment the stool left from underneath her feet. She dangled from the light fixture above,, holding her breath. Not a sound. Not a move. The noise was met with a cold silence that hung in the air with the ghosts that taunted her. JD seemed... worried. Sad, upset? Something other than angry. He was always so angry but this, this wasn’t what he was.   ...Had it worked?. She desperately tried to ignore the rest of the time he was in the room, ignore the feeling of his hands grabbing her face, the feeling of his tears as they stained her blazer, him begging for her not to leave him alone. Claiming that she was the only one he could trust. She was the only one he could trust, and her dangling from a rope and a closet threatened sabotage against it all. His trust, quite literally hanging from a string. Would he ever be able to trust anyone again after he found out that she was lying? It wouldn’t necessarily matter. She wouldn’t be alive to tell.

       When JD left, Veronica's mom came back and seemed to care for her for the first time in her life, yelling and telling her that her ‘joke’ wasn’t funny. She seemed to care, to question, and for the first time... It seemed GENUINE.

                               She was about 17 years too late. 

Admittedly, Veronica could have had it worse, her parents could be Big Bud Dean or dead... but they still didn’t fully care. Or care to understand. She shrugged her mother off, grabbing her croquet mallet. 

The hour of truth was fast approaching, either one, or neither would come out alive.

[technofag-archive]

biker + matt miller + heather chandler!!!

biker:

My favorite person from my canon: JACKETMy least favorite person from my canon: does my own ass count? no? then the janitors can go dieHow tall I was: like 5′0″-5′2″Some of my physical traits: Buff. i had Mascle. i had a scar from phonehom on my cheek, and i put my hair up in a ponytail a lot so that was a sight to behold. i had a lot of misc scars from getting into fights / being a dumbass, and a very slight limp in one leg for reasons that are kind of horrific and that i dont care enough to tag for rn. at one point i had a fucking beard, dear god. i dyed my goddamn beard. i dyed my bSome of my personality traits: i was a cocky little shit. i had the confidence of a man who knew he was gonna die very, very soon, and was completely fucking a-okay with that. except i wasn’t. i was totally not okay with that. how i had that confidence, no one knows. after the encounter in the desert i was... how do you say... completely fucked up for a long time and the only thing that dragged me out of it was returning to miami and being forced to confront realityThe phrase/word/sound I said the most: n/aMy crush/partner (if I had one): jacketMy best friend (if I had one): evan, eventually. noncanon character up until i... YKNOw.. disappeared for 2 years.The most attractive person/people from my canon: you all know my goddamn answer to this.The cutest possible ship from my canon: none we are all terribleThe worst possible ship from my canon: manny pardo / anyoneWho I’ve found so far: jacket, evan (?), tonyWho I really want to find: eh, im cool w where i am these daysWho I really don’t want to find: no one, i’m chill with talking to anyone. but manny pardo kins are terrifiyngWho I wish died: no oneWho I wish hadn’t died: well in my canon miami wasn’t bombed, so no one died from that. and im pretty chill with who died

matt

My favorite person from my canon: Uh? Me? or ashaMy least favorite person from my canon: k*llbaneHow tall I was: 6-somethingSome of my physical traits: tall goddamn stick child. i ate way too much or not enough and the fact that my metabolism was so fast was my only saving grace sometimes. i had a stab wound in my right leg, because i got stabbed, in my right leg. that hurt. i wore makeup right up to the day i died, with exception to the time steelport got bombedSome of my personality traits: Cocky Motherfucker, yet again. i was extremely confident when there was no risk to me, but when there was, i freaked the fuck out and lost all my ego and confidence. i had a very addictive personality, and i got addicted to energy drinks at like. 12. thus began the long story of me getting addicted to shit.The phrase/word/sound I said the most: n/aMy crush/partner (if I had one): pr0tip, and then asha. kind of.My best friend (if I had one): kirsten, and then ashaThe most attractive person/people from my canon: uh? Me?The cutest possible ship from my canon: hm. femboss/shaundi or mboss/ gatThe worst possible ship from my canon: me/k*llbane, me/bossWho I’ve found so far: boss. that is it that is allWho I really want to find: i wanna find my kinzie. gotta ask why she didnt, uh, smother me in my sleep when she had the chance. also, Pierce. also, my entire gang. but that’s a pipe dream.Who I really don’t want to find: K*LLBANEWho I wish died: k*llbane? he did die in some timelines but in the ones he didnt. uh. DIEWho I wish hadn’t died: my entire fucken gang

chandler

My favorite person from my canon: either veronica or.. meMy least favorite person from my canon: jdHow tall I was: not exactly sure. i know i was tall.Some of my physical traits: makeup. all the time. every time. i had small hands. the exact opposite of yaoi hands. i had some scars on my upper legs, but they’d mostly faded by the time canon beganSome of my personality traits: Cocky Motherfucker. Again. i’m sensing a trend here. i was extremely... like that. i didn’t fear shit, because i knew my parents could not give a care what my grades are or what i said to anyone, so i got away with basically everything, thus not needing fear at all. i was only ever even close to vulnerable around the Heathers, (yes that needs a capital H) and that was extremely rare. my mask of being Queen Of Everything was very well built, and never went down.The phrase/word/sound I said the most: n/aMy crush/partner (if I had one): had a tiny crush on veronica, a crush on the heathers, and in 1 tl was in a relationship with jd My best friend (if I had one): the heathersThe most attractive person/people from my canon: UH? ME?The cutest possible ship from my canon: heather/heather/heather or mcnamara/veronicaThe worst possible ship from my canon: jd/anyoneWho I’ve found so far: no one i dont think?Who I really want to find: im chillinWho I really don’t want to find: jdWho I wish died: idc. im glad kurt and ram diedWho I wish hadn’t died: idc  

[canaryatlaw]

So today was pretty chill. I started it out by deciding that sleeping until 10:40 wasn't good enough, and I was gonna blow off low level responsibility by saying I wasn't feeling well, so I sent the email (or, I thought I sent the email) and went back to bed till 2, lol. Hey, I really need the sleep when I can get it in the coming days. So I ate breakfast and dicked around for a little while before once again hitting the books for 5 hours to get this damn appellate brief done. I started trying to fix the argument section based on the critiques I got on my trial brief, which took longer than expected, and, shocker, took up a whole lot more words! Who would've thought. Fixing it took longer than I would've thought, but at least it's hopefully done for now. So then I tackled the statement of the case, which I could pretty much base on what I had in the trial brief, except I had to frame then persuasively for the other side now since we had to switch sides, and work in all the procedural history- since we're at the appellate level we have to explain how we got there. So that was a bit more complicated, but I think I got it done pretty well. It's just complex with all the "legally relevant facts" and those that aren't and trying to distinguish between the two, while also not omitting relevant facts that disfavor your client....so yeah, it's complicated lol. But I finished just around 8 which was generally my aim- I find once it hits 8 pm if I don't stop working and let me mind start to shut down (unless I really really have to keep working, in which case I will) I have a harder time settling down and working down my energy to fall asleep. Like I don't have any issues working for 5 hours straight, I just need time to wind down after. So I'm up to 7400 words now, with our word limit being 8750, and there's still a good bit I need to add, mostly smaller sections but they do add up, but I think I'll be able to make it work. I'll probably hit the summary of the argument next and try to knock out the major components first. Somewhere in the middle of this I get on my phone and realize the email I wrote when I was half asleep didn't actually send, so as far as anyone knew I just didn't show up....oops. Luckily it's not a big deal at all since they had someone else being there anyway and honestly we're at the point where nobody gives a fuck anymore. So I'll just make sure to apologize to the 1L I abandoned and I'm sure it'll be fine, lol. More importantly on that note though was a text from a friend asking if I'd seen the trial ad syllabus for this week. This week is "preliminary conferences" before final trials next week, but apparently they wanted us to have a lot of shit done for the conference that we didn't know about, including tendering Pretrial motions to the other side 48 hours beforehand- meaning tomorrow, and I hadn't even looked at the problem. FUCK. And then there was the whole issue of the online access code thing (the books were supposed to come with a code for online access to trial materials, but the resold ones didn't, but thankfully my friend was able to send it to me. So I think I'm gonna email the guy on the other side that I know and see where he's at with all this and try to work it out. I mean, figuring out pre-trial motions aren't really all that difficult, so I can do it after church tomorrow hopefully anyway. Ugh, my brain was fried at this point but I at least looks through the case materials. It's a murder case with a self-defense defense and we're the prosecution. Seems like a pretty weak case for the defense at first glance, all they really have is the one guy lunged at the other, but we'll see what happens as the trial unfolds. So after all of that, I had some food and turned on my tv to find that Training Day was back on and nobody told me!!! Thanks God for my dvr though, lol, and I was only trailing live by a few minutes. I was just glad to get another episode, because we don't know how much they had filmed before Bill Paxton died, and I mean according to Katrina at HVFF they haven't even told the actors what they're doing yet, so I guess we'll have to wait and see. It was a good episode plot wise I suppose, but it did have some pretty major disconnects with reality, like the fact that Frank committed like 6 felonies in his little take down plan at the end there that could actually have gotten someone killed, lol. I'm a bit tired of the dirty defense attorney trope, just because the vast majority of defense attorneys are good hard working people and they don't deserve to be lumped in with that, but I digress. Katrina was good as always, although she's apparently sleeping with someone other than her husband, and I don't think we knew she had a husband? Lol, okay then. When that was over I switched over to trial and error to catch up which was of course highly entertaining. It manages to make me actually appreciate it even though it's legal blunders are some times pretty egregious, like debating whether a lie detector test would be admissible when they're NEVER admissible, and the idea of "pleading insanity" which isn't a thing you can plead, you pleads guilty or not guilty, and you can be found not guilty by reason of insanity because it's an affirmative defense- but you cannot essentially plead guilty with an affirmative defense that would make you not culpable for the crime.....yeah, needless to say the was a pretty cringeworthy one for me lol. Overall though it's still a very funny and highly enjoyable show. When I was caught up on that I switched over to crazy ex-girlfriend and watched a few episodes of that. Is it just me, or is Rebecca a significant amount more crazy this season than last...? Idk, it just seems like some of her choices have been like, no longer even in left field but in the parking lot outside the stadium. I still enjoy the show of course, lol, but with the episode with Heather's parents all I could was you know, Rebecca would probably be doing a lot better with those kind of parents in her life, lol. But yeah, still enjoying that. Alright, that's about it and I'm waking up at 9 tomorrow for church so it's about time I get some sleep. Goodnight babes. Stay lovely.

[itsjayyyy]

November 3, 2018 6:54 pm

Yeah it’s been a hot minute since I last updated. and of course I’m going to write a ton, but not nearly as much as what has passed.

So yesterday (friday), before I went to class I checked the weather app to decide which jacket to wear, and saw that it was going to rain around 3pm. I only had one class, so I figured I’d go to it, then stay at the library for a while, get a mango smoothie, and see if I can get some homework done. Like, three hours into sitting there, I had still done close to no homework, rather listened to kris wu’s new album (can you believe the nerve of that guy? He really released his album on the same day as exo, and you can tell that shit was intentional like he wanted to overshadow them (and he sure did, even posted a pic of the itunes charts where his album was #1 while exo’s was #4) lmao petty af) I also started to listen to all of my music in my itunes library, starting with most played and going down. I haven’t even made a dent btw, I have like, some odd 5 whole days of music to go through. Around 4 I figured I should get heading home, so that I don’t have to face the worst of rush hour traffic. Of course, just as I’m stepping out of the library, rose texted me saying it was pouring on the west side. The clouds on campus looked troublesome, but I figured it wouldn’t be too bad.

It was. I stopped by a gas station, and as I got there it started raining. Honestly, on the drive home, the rain wasn’t my biggest problem (I’ve driven in pouring rain so often that I don’t care about getting wet any more), it was the wind. It seriously almost knocked my bike clean over. And it didn’t help that the rain impacted my engine and made it struggle to speed up properly. I really thought I might have gotten into an accident, it was that bad. But as you can see by me typing this, I’m just fine. I took a hot shower, ate dinner, then receded back to my room as always. I brought with me a cup of instant coffee (seriously, cafe bustelo instant coffee is leagues better than regular drip coffee, like what the hell.) and started a kdrama that yoongi recommended called stranger. The dramafever app has been giving me issues recently, so I decided to watch it on my laptop. But when I went to the website, it displayed a message saying they shut down like two weeks ago. Sure shows how little I use that subscription that I didn’t even notice lmao. Luckily the show was also on netflix, so I watched it there. 

I didn’t even consider that maybe I shouldn’t drink coffee before bed, until like 12:30 am. I tried to go to bed around 10:30, but just couldn’t sleep no matter what. At first I thought it was because of small noises like mom doing the dishes or pulling a chair out (and it was irritating the living hell out of me- i wanted to go out there and scream that I was trying to sleep and they needed to stop making noise), but then I remembered the coffee, and how the same thing happened a few months ago. I took some cold medicine to help knock myself out, and set a second alarm just in case.

Surprisingly, it wasn’t that hard for me to wake up despite getting like 5.5 hours of sleep (I mean I did sleep in for an additional 30 mins after the first alarm, but I didn’t feel like I was dying). I left for work 15 minutes early, just in case my bike gave me any issues. I was on cash at work (UGH), which was made even worse now that we don’t get to go to MIMO. I was literally in front of a register for 7.5 hours, when usually it only used to be like 6, with the trip to MIMO accounted for (and the closing cashiers taking over). I was nonstop leaving to go to the bathroom to make up for it, though. 

It’s unbelievable, the lengths to which rose will put other people above me. She mentioned that she was going to go out to the mall to buy a gift for peter’s birthday, and I asked if I could come along because peter’s my bro too and I wanted to get him a gift. But she pulled the whole “uh yeah, you can come if you want” and i was like. if you don’t want me to come, just say so. and she was like “oh you know it was just gonna be like, me and peter and I don’t want to go inviting people by myself” as if she hasn’t invited peter and paul into our hangout times before (matter of fact, there was one time when it was literally just supposed to be me and rose and she dragged peter along, peter and I began to argue, AND SHE SAID SHE DIDN”T WANT TO GET INVOLVED AND SPENT THE REST OF THE AFTERNOON HANGING WITH HIM. but hey whatever, fuck jay right?) and also as if they were hanging out as friends and not with the purpose of buying peter a gift. She also mentioned how paul was planning to finesse something (also huge pet peeve: paul needs to stop calling it “finessing,” just say you fucking stole it.) I mentioned how I seriously didn’t want to move in with paul. Like, rose peter and I all have responsibilities and bills to pay, meanwhile paul still gets spoon fed by his parents. Do I really want to risk my housing and credit score by signing a lease with some kid who hasn’t paid rent his entire life? Hell no. And yeah, the fact that he has no conscience and openly steals is a huge issue for me. Rose tried to brush it off but I kept pushing it, saying that it was a deal breaker for me. She said that “we’ve been planning to move in together for a really long time” and i’m fucking livid. Who is “we”???? Her, peter, and paul???? As if her, me and GIO didn’t plan on moving in together last year? Why does paul get precedence over me when rose and I have been planning to move out together for over a year before she even met him??? Whatever, I’m looking at clara’s lease ending soon, she said she’s looking for roommates. 

I know I’ve probably said this a million times, but I hate family dinners. It’s just so damn obvious that they all want me dead. I always get the least amount of food, nobody talks to me, and nobody cares when I leave halfway through. I spilled my glass trying to put in ice, but didn’t bother to wipe it up. I just really don’t care, it’s not like I’m at the table long enough for it to bother me anyways.

Alright now I’m gonna really quickly hop over to the last update to see what I left off at. So the first thing I feel like I want to talk about (I think it’ll be better if I go from one topic to another, rather than try to do it chronologically) is heather. So I don’t remember if I wrote about this (and I’m not gonna read all my updates to find out), but one time on a friday heather and I made plans to meet up at the library. I texted her that day asking if we could instead meet at the student union (needed to stop by the atm to get rent money), and she didn’t reply (it said “delivered though). I got a call from my boss asking if I could come in early, and I was like yea sure since by then heather hadn’t even opened my message and it was about 30 mins from her next class. I walked through the breezeway, and as I walked I saw her, walking with someone else (prob a classmate) and talking, just hanging out. I dipped into the bathroom so she wouldn’t see me. She later texted me (one minute before her next class started) saying “sorry, my phone died and I just now got this message.” I guess she didn’t know that iphones tell you if the message was delivered to the other person’s phone. yeah, it does kind of hurt, that she bailed on me. it feels like I’m a second option, and if given the chance, she’d hang with other people. Since then, we met up like, once in the last month. In the last two weeks or so, I haven’t seen her at all. She just keeps saying “sorry, I’m too busy now” or “sorry, I didn’t see your message.” I asked if I could borrow her textbook for the gov exam, and she said she had a problem with the rental company and had to temporarily return it. I got a 74 on the exam, by the way. I figure maybe I just shouldn’t message her any more; if she wants to hang with me she’ll message me first.

Speaking of friends, I posted a pic on ig the other day. It’s a far away shot of me that rose took, sitting in the corner of a cafe. The caption was just “let’s get this (bread emoji)” ya know, just a dumb phrase. Anjlie liked it, and I was like... why. I looked at her profile (I unfollowed her long ago so I haven’t kept up with her feed) and she’s changed from 2014 low-saturation tumblr aesthetic to wannabe ig famous aesthetic. Also, she’s tagged this one girl in a lot of her captions. I can tell they’re friends, but it looks like the other girl doesn’t tag her back in nearly as much of her photos. Anjlie was always kind of socially anxious, it seems like she’s made one (1) friend in college that she’s completely attached herself to.

So, my motorcycle. Yeah, I changed the air filter, but it didn’t really affect it. Then I changed the spark plugs (also have to do with gas combustion), didn’t really see an improvement either (but MAN you should see these spark plugs, they’re entirely rust). I figured maybe it’s because the gas tube has a u-shaped curve in it, maybe it’s having trouble lifting the gas back up. So I changed it, and the next day when I walked back to my bike the gas had drained nearly completely onto the ground via a leak that I couldn’t find for the life of me. When I first walked up to my bike I saw some guy standing around kind of suspiciously and got worried, but then when I saw the leak he was like “is this your bike? I was calling parking services because I was concerned about the leak.” I ended up leaving my bike there for nearly a week (and took the city bus to school instead, since obvs I couldn’t drive) before I could get a tow truck called. i knew it was the carbureator by this point due to additional research, and I tried to fix it myself right there in the parking lot, but one of the screws was stripped so I took it to the mechanic and told him there was a leak because of the carbureator. one day when I took an uber home from work, I slammed my thumb in the car door and it bled so fucking bad. I cried like a bitch. It felt like I was nancy kerrigan, because my bike was going to be repaired soon but I couldn’t drive it because nail. But the bike got “fixed,” in which the mechanic said that the issue was the gas filter which was kind of weak. I was like yea I replaced the gas filter myself, but I used the same kind as before so that’s not the issue. and of course the leak didn’t go away. So I brought the bike back and was like “there’s a problem in the carbureator. please clean and rebuild it. don’t try to diagnose anything because I’ve told you before that the issue is the carbureator and you won’t listen.” he held onto the bike for a week and said “it’s the accelerator pump.” i told him to also clean the fucking carb and he finally did (for $267). I told iris and nick how I wanted to just buy a new bike and they were all “oh no that’s too expensive” as if I haven’t spent over $800 in repairs the last two months. And I didn’t even ask for advice from those people, anyways. 

I did call in, for like all of my remaining usf shifts. I’m now officially ioa exclusive, as a result of my incessant bitching about how much I hate usf. And I got cross trained as a cook at cinnabon!!!!! I’ve done a shit job so far tho, I always underestimate the number of buns needed and then end up running out. Tomorrow I have a shift at cinnabon tho, so I can finally redeem myself. Next week I’m scheduled for tuesday and friday too, so I guess my availability didn’t get 100% approved. It’s okay though, one more month until the semester is over and I can change my availability again to weekends only for real for real this time. I’m also going to take up delivering for postmates. they allow motorcycles, so between classes and in the evening I’m gonna deliver. they say you can make on average 10-15 an hour, which is pretty decent considering I’m mostly going to be driving. And even though they don’t reimburse you gas money, I get 80 mpg so I think I’m good. The other day was my enrollment appointment for spring. I already had a schedule ready, just needed to press submit. but then rose was like “oh can you pls pick up peter he doesn’t have a car” and it made me 13 minutes late and all the classes I chose were full. So I had to pick a new schedule, where the first class is at 7:30 am and the last class gets out at 7:15 pm. With like, a 4-hour gap in the middle. Kill me.

I don’t think I have many other topics to cover. I submitted my second paper in english, and next week I submit the last. I bought new toothpaste the other day. still looking to move out (but now, planning to wait till like january). still depressed as shit. but hey, let’s just play it by ear.