#heart. OR she’s fully aware that that she still loves humans and that is why she does the things she does with the Fatui

[voidscreamns]

./

[nottobehornyonthemain]

The pool scene is awesome. But it’s also extremely painful.

Because on the one hand you have Gideon, who is very repressed, something we’re probably not expecting as an audience, because she is a brash, agressive, openly queer woman. There’s a weird expectation that girls are somehow more in touch with their feelings (this is dumb). But also we live in a heteronormative society, and it’s unusual for us to see out queer folks who haven’t had to actually think critically about their emotions and come to terms with with them. Which, Gideon has not done.

So she’s in this position where she does not think that Harrowhark is capable of feeling affection or love, and that the strongest emotion Harrow is capable of is hate. Gideon knows 100% for a fact that Harrow hates her, so that means she is important to Harrow.

Except that Harrow *is* apparently capable of love and affection. Which means that when she says that she doesn’t think about Gideon that often because there are things she cares about more, she’s not just saying it to get under Gideon’s skin. Which means that Gideon isn’t as important to Harrow as she thought she was. And this upsets her deeply for reasons she can’t fully explain or understand.

On the other hand you have Harrow, she just told her greatest secret, and received forgiveness, understanding, and genuine human comfort in return. So she looks at the world as though it is filled with egg-eating snakes and she is protecting an egg. So she makes Gideon promise to go home and do the thing her family has been tasked with for generations. We, as the audience, have only gotten like five scenes with Harrowhark fully aware of everything post pool-scene, and in two of them she is destroying herself so that Gideon can have even the smallest chance of life.

Because Gideon just had her heart broken into a thousand tiny shards and can’t even express why, meanwhile Harrow thinks they’re married now.

If they had just a few more hours to talk to each other afterwards I fully believe that they would have worked a lot of this shit out. I guess that’s the tragedy. Even in their moment of seeing each other clearly for the first time, they still don’t understand each other.

[mondaymelon]

— "𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂...𝗰𝗿𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴?" ♥

:feat~ xiao, kazuha, scaramouche x gn!reader: 

⤷ slight angst + comfort n fluff (oops i made kazuha’s part abnormally long) ⤷ They make you cry.

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ (open!) : @manager-of-the-pudding-bank, @iamdedinside, @ilyuu, @achlysis

At first, XIAO doesn’t understand that his words have cut you. 

He was always one with a blunt, yet sharp tongue, never afraid to speak his mind or to criticize your actions on the slightest whim. After all, why should he be hesitant? His power is common knowledge - as an illuminated adepti, there’s few who can rival his dexterity.

But he never expected his words to hurt you. Xiao has never fully understood human emotion. He’s always isolated himself from the foreign concept, determined to separate him and such… frivolities. Emotions are for mortals, and he is not one of man. In his manner of thinking, he’s just helping you improve yourself, so why are you…

“Archons, Xiao. It’s always about my mistakes. My mistakes, over and over and…” Then your wavering voice cuts off as you swallow, hard. What did he do wrong? Why were you acting this way?

That’s when the aloof yaksha notices the crystal teardrops spilling from your eyes, running down your cheeks and staining the skin it trails. The slight hitch in your shallowed breath and the way you stray from his touch, trembling, anxiously wiping at your tears.

“...Love?” He isn’t accustomed to seeing you like this, avoidant of his gaze and so… vulnerable. “Wait, please-”

“Archons, love. Please, look at me.” Xiao takes your wrist in his gloved hand, his grasp cautious yet firm. His voice is pleading, quiet, strained with desperation.

“No, I… I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His voice shakes as he tries to meet your eye.

“Love, you are perfect. I never meant to say otherwise.” Please, believe me.

“I’m sorry. So please…” He detests the way he’s acting, heart racing so shamefully, yet still embraces you tightly, skin cold to the touch.

“Stay by my side.” ♥

KAZUHA’s eloquent wording is one that never ceases to amaze, so it’s only a twinge of misfortune that causes a misunderstanding to form.

As a poet, the way he speaks is quite ornate, a manner in which people may not comprehend. However, that’s never exactly been a problem when it comes to the communication of the two of you. You understand Kazuha, and that translates to his speech as well, so in a way, it’s only natural.

Yet…

“The show was incredible, wasn’t it?” You take Kazuha’s hand, and follow his gentle tug on yours as he leads you out of the crowd, smiling back at you. The white haired male, being the traveler he was, decided to take you for a night out in Liyue Harbor, where the two of you first ate a fine dinner, and just finished viewing a performance from the Liyue Theatre. Your heart still raced from the night’s breathtaking sights and wonders.

“Indeed it was.” He closes his eyes, a sign that he’s content, and you can’t help but widen your grin. “The main casting role, the lady with the flowing dress, was exceptionally talented. Just from the way she glided about the stage… you can tell she’s experienced, and blessed with bountiful potential.”

You nod along, albeit a little awkwardly. There’s nothing out of the ordinary for the two of you to discuss such topics, but for some reason, the way he’s speaking about her just makes your insides want to crawl.

He’s still droning on, eyes sparkling. “...Then, at the final scene, when she began to sing… say, Love, why don’t you try theater? It might suit you well. Maybe one day you’d be on a stage, just like her.”

What the male meant was: try theater out, you’d do well.

But what you heard, instead, was: you should do theater too. then you could be as brilliant as her.

You hated the way it felt like he was comparing the two of you, weighing which one held more worth.

“I know! We’ll be staying here for a while, so why don’t I sign you up for…” His voice trails off as he lets go of your hand, aware of the tears that are starting to form in your wells. “Love, what… what’s wrong?”

“Kazuha… please, stop.”

“...What?” He seems genuinely clueless, but clasps but your hands in his, a worried gaze written all over his face. “No, I…”

“Please stop comparing me to her. I already know I don’t deserve you… it’s just…” Fuck, now you really couldn’t stop the way the droplets started rolling down your cheeks, stray tears falling from your eyes and splattering onto the wooden planks below. All of your discomfort seemed to infuse themselves into the shameful adrenaline that was coursing through your veins, because you had worried if you weren’t good enough for Kazuha. Someone as lackluster as yourself, going out with a handsome young swordsman, intelligent, kind… he was loved by many, and you…

“...Love, please!” 

When did he get so close? He’s leaned in, concerned, crimson-eyed gaze trained onto your every movement. “What are you even thinking about, to be breathing so heavily… no, c’mon love, look at me.” And when you do, eyes meeting his, his mouth morphs into a somewhat smile. “There must’ve been a misunderstanding.”

“Because you are most certainly superior to any other person in Teyvat.”

“And of all people, you…”

“I am the one not worthy of your love, so don’t ever say that again.”  ♥

SCARAMOUCHE doesn’t care at all, why should he?

He said some stuff that you took too close to heart, so what? If he hurt you, why should he fret over it? You’re strong enough to take it. All he said was one or two harsh words that merely came to mind, so there’s no need for you to be all wounded over it, either.

“Yeah, you’re pathetic.” Scaramouche scoffs at you, one hand on his waist while the free one makes sarcastic motions in the air. “You can’t even get one thing right, can you?”

The “thing” in question, in fact, was making Scaramouche dinner. You added a pinch too much salt, and now the male seemed to act like you’d committed a grave offense upon humanity… but then again, he was always dramatic, so this time shouldn’t be any different, right?

“I… I tried my best…” Your voice trails off as you cringe under his undermining glare.

“Clearly, your ‘best’ wasn’t enough.” His jeering tone is enough to make your heart shatter as you glance up at him, eyes wide. You don’t realize you’ve begun crying until you feel the sensation of tears spilling down your cheeks, falling from your eyes with silent melancholy as you seem to choke on your own words.

“Why are you… why are you crying?” You’re scared to look up at him, whatever expression he’s making, so you keep your head down, pitifully wiping your tears away.

“I’m not.”

“Sure you aren’t.” His voice is airy as he rolls his eyes, frowning at you. What, now you get to act all disheartened? What did he even do to upset you?

“I’m not crying.”

“C’mon, Kuni. It’s okay to say if you’re sad. Here, cheer up, and I’ll give you this flower, okay?”

A voice echoed in his head.

“...Huh?”

And it’s strange, really, how the sight before him mirrors one from long before. The way your eyes hold so much sorrowful desperation, the way you seem so broken inside, and most of all, the way the tears that run down your face seem achingly familiar.

“Shit.” His voice seems small, too small. “Wait, love, I-” His voice cuts off as he sighs, unsure of what to say. The beating of his anxious heart overpowers all noise.

“Love, I was… joking. I don’t mean any of it.”

“You being here is a blessing of itself.”

“Archons, please know how much I love you.” ♥

(a/n) i accidentally made xiao's part the shortest i am a disgrace to humanity

[edenesth]

The Way to His Heart [15]

Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader

AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.

Part 14 | Fic Masterlist | Part 16

"I still don't understand why you had to creep around instead of just approaching her and introducing yourself properly," Jongho remarked, rolling his eyes as Wooyoung clicked his tongue in frustration, "Oh, come on! Can you blame me? She's so beautiful, I got nervous, alright?! I've never had to talk to her before, and I just... I panicked!"

The assistant squinted at his friend, "You do realise if the general catches wind of any of that, you'll be out of a job. Don't tell me you have a crush on our mistress..."

"And you don't?!" The private investigator squeaked, eyes widening in disbelief as Jongho shook his head, unamused, "That's inappropriate. Don't you ever suggest such a thing again."

Wooyoung kept his mouth shut, realising that his friend would be the last person interested in hearing him gush about how pretty he found you. He was fully aware that you were his employer's wife and therefore off-limits. Still, it wouldn't hurt to indulge in the innocent fantasy of being a secret admirer.

Besides, he still valued his life, and it wasn't as if he was actually in love with you or anything. Deep down, humans are all visual animals, and he found his tiny crush on you completely justifiable.

Turning serious, Jongho inquired, "So, what did the mistress need help with? She's been secluded in the study ever since Prince Yeosang's departure and hadn't spoken to any of us until you showed up. Something must have happened."

With a smug nod, Wooyoung responded, "Ah, it seems I already know more than you. How does that feel, senior assistant Choi?" His grin disappeared when the younger man did not react as expected, only staring him down intimidatingly, as if daring him to continue with his playful shenanigans, "Ugh, fine, sheesh. The fourth prince invited her to his birthday banquet happening next week. She's really anxious since it's her first royal event and without General Park. She wants guidance on dealing with the royals."

Head shooting up at the revelation, the assistant knitted his brows together in concern, "The fourth prince... invited her to his birthday banquet? Did he say why?"

The private investigator shrugged, a hint of nonchalance in his tone, "He mentioned that since General Park is away, he hoped Lady Park could represent him this year."

A troubled expression clouded Jongho's features as he processed the information, his mind racing with possible implications. The idea of His Highness extending such an invitation seemed out of the ordinary, sparking unease within him.

Noticing the younger man's troubled demeanour, Wooyoung nudged him on the shoulder, concern evident in his voice, "Why do you look so bothered, man? What's on your mind?"

Jongho's stomach churned as he mulled over his thoughts, his voice tinged with apprehension as he responded, "I wouldn't have been surprised if it had been any of the other princes. But Prince Yeosang? He hasn't hosted a single birthday banquet in years. And besides, his connection with the general is minimal at best. So... what do you think he wants with our mistress?"

That revelation made the private investigator sit up straight, suddenly grasping the complexity of the situation. If what his friend said held true, it meant the fourth prince was plotting something. A surge of protectiveness for you washed over him, wanting to ensure your safety and not let his role model down.

Turning to the assistant, he asked, "Damn, I don't like the sound of that. So what's our move? Should we warn her?"

Jongho shook his head adamantly, "Absolutely not. She'd panic, and that's the last thing we need. I'll fetch the dressmaker; he's one of the general's closest friends, and along with Physician Jung's help, we'll try to figure this out."

"Oh, one more thing!" Wooyoung interjected, grabbing the younger man's attention, "Lady Park did mention that it would be great if she could somehow get in touch with Royal Secretary Choi. It seems she believes he's the only one who can offer helpful advice for navigating the royal event."

Pondering this information quietly, the assistant nodded, "Fortunately, I've corresponded with him on behalf of the general several times. I should be able to reach him easily."

Jongho furrowed his brows, noticing the unsettled expression on the investigator's face, "What's bothering you now?"

Wooyoung sighed, his expression clouded with uncertainty, "The lady also expressed her doubts about whether the royal secretary would even consider helping her. She's unsure if someone as busy as him would take the time to assist her."

Shaking his head, the assistant offered reassurance, "Don't worry. Royal Secretary Choi is genuinely one of the kindest people you'll ever meet. He shares a friendship with the general and will certainly lend a hand to our mistress if she needs it."

That would soon be clear to them all when San arrived to grace everyone in the general's estate with his presence in just a few days, leaving Hongjoong, Yunho, and Wooyoung in awe as they watched the handsome man with an exceptionally fit physique—perhaps a little too fit to be a mere secretary—walk past the three of them, who were sitting in the living hall, with a respectful nod and courteous smile.

Jongho exchanged knowing glances with them as he ushered the royal secretary into the estate and towards the study, where you awaited his guidance with your studies.

"Am I the only one who thinks that guy seems more suited for the battlefield than the royal office?" Wooyoung quipped, prompting a reluctant nod from Hongjoong. For some inexplicable reason, he found the private investigator mildly annoying, almost like a younger brother, "As much as I hate to admit it, you're right about that. He does give off that vibe."

Yunho, known for his wisdom and maturity, offered a shrug in response, "We shouldn't judge someone solely by their appearance. Perhaps the royal secretary excels in matters of intelligence rather than physical strength."

Rolling his eyes, the dressmaker fired back, "Obviously, we're just joking. Lighten up a little, Yunho, or you'll never find a wife with that boring ass attitude."

The physician pursed his lips at the jab, while Wooyoung watched with amusement as the banter between the two friends unfolded, "Says you? You're older and still single. Perhaps the problem lies closer to home."

Hongjoong scoffed in disbelief and placed his hands on his hips, "Excuse you, I'll have you know there are plenty of women vying for my attention every day. It's not my fault I have standards."

"I could say the same." Yunho retorted.

Before the banter could escalate, Jongho intervened with a heavy sigh, "I leave for a minute, and you're already arguing. How is it that all of you are older than me?"

"I agree, assistant Choi. Their behaviour was rather immature," The investigator remarked, feigning innocence when the doctor raised an eyebrow, "You're the one who instigated the whole thing."

Just as Wooyoung opened his mouth to defend himself, the assistant rubbed his temple wearily, "Oh my god, enough. Let's not forget why we're here today—to figure out the intentions of Prince Yeosang regarding our mistress."

"Is that the purpose of this gathering?" Eunsook queried as she appeared by the entrance of the living hall.

The four nodded in confirmation, and the head maid sighed before joining them, "If that's the case, I believe I may be of help. I was with the mistress in the palace on the day the master discovered he had to depart for war. Something happened with the prince while we awaited the general's return from his emergency meeting."

As she recounted the incident at the cherry blossom garden, a dawning realisation settled over all of them. Suddenly, it all clicked into place: why Yeosang, known for despising his own birthday due to its reminders of his painful existence, was now planning a celebration and extending an invitation to Lady Park, of all people. It was clear to the group that the prince had set his sights on the general's wife, and this elaborate scheme was likely his attempt to lure you away from Seonghwa.

"I understand we're all concerned about what His Highness might attempt to win over our mistress, but I believe we should have a little faith in her. Her devotion to General Park is undeniable. I don't think she would easily forsake him after all he's done for her." The physician suggested, hoping to ease the tension in the room.

As the others visibly relaxed with the reminder, the dressmaker appeared to be the only one still troubled, "Yeah, about that..." The dread in the room heightened at Hongjoong's uneasy expression.

"What is it?" Jongho inquired cautiously.

With a frustrated expression, the eldest man among them ran a hand through his hair before recounting the recent encounter with Jinjoo, your stepsister, and the doubts you were starting to entertain about your husband, "I'm sorry, it's all my fault."

The elderly woman's stomach sank at the revelation, but she shook her head to reassure the dressmaker, "No, Hongjoong, it's not your fault. You couldn't have known her stepsister would be there. No matter how much we deny it, the truth has a way of surfacing. We can't hide it from her forever."

The others nodded in agreement, though filled with worry at the implications. They knew Eunsook was right. Eventually, you would likely discover the truth. They just hadn't expected it to happen so soon, especially with Seonghwa away at war. The thought of you being possibly swayed by the fourth prince's charms sent shivers down all their spines.

Well shit, that's not good at all.

"San, you're an absolute lifesaver. Thank you so much." You expressed with gratitude after the lengthy crash course he had just given you on dealing with royal figures when attending such events, offering a smile that didn't quite reach your eyes.

Returning the smile, the royal secretary noticed the fatigue and stress evident in your expression. He sensed there was more to your distress than just the fourth prince's sudden invitation to his birthday banquet. Perhaps his close relationship with his elder sister had sharpened his perception of women's emotions.

Observing your troubled expression, San gently inquired, "Are you feeling quite alright, Lady Park? If you're worried about the general, I can assure you that he is being partnered with only the best military strategist in all of Joseon. They have yet to lose a single battle thus far, I'm sure this time would be no different."

A wave of conflicting emotions washed over you at his words. On one hand, you appreciated his attempt to ease your worries about your husband's safety. On the other hand, a nagging curiosity gnawed at your mind, Jinjoo's words still lingering, urging you to delve deeper into the mysteries surrounding your family's punishments.

San's position as the royal secretary and his close friendship with the general made him an ideal source of information. Surely, he would know the intricate details of the case and could provide you with the answers you sought. However, the thought of uncovering the full truth filled you with trepidation.

What if reality's more than you could bear?

You wrestled with your inner turmoil, unsure of whether to broach the subject with Royal Secretary Choi. Part of you yearned for closure, to finally understand the events that took place without your knowledge. Yet, another part hesitated, fearing the potential consequences of unearthing Seonghwa's carefully buried secrets.

As you glanced at San, who was patiently awaiting your response, you grappled with your decision. Would you dare to confront the shadows of your fears, or would you continue to dwell in uncertainty, afraid of what truths lay beneath?

To hell with it.

Taking a deep breath, you responded, "Thank you for your reassurance regarding my husband's capabilities. However, that's not precisely what's weighing on my mind..."

He arched a curious eyebrow, intrigued by what other concerns could possibly be bothering you besides Seonghwa's safety, "I'm all ears, my lady." He offered, inviting you to share your thoughts.

Lowering your head, you recounted your recent encounter with your stepsister and the unsettling doubts it had stirred within you. Then, with a hesitant tone, you inquired, "May I seek clarification from you regarding my husband's role in the Jang family's punishments?"

San maintained a composed smile, betraying no hint of shock at your revelation. With a calm demeanour, he laced his fingers together before him, "I empathise with your concerns, Lady Park, and I want you to know that they are valid. While the details of the case are confidential, I can offer some clarity to ease your worries."

You held your breath as he continued, "The truth is, His Majesty was responsible for determining your family's physical punishments, but the general took charge of overseeing the entire process."

So, it's true.

Your heart sank at the confirmation.

"Understandably, you may find his involvement frightening. However, you need to know that this has always been the nature of his job. If you think him cruel, remember that every drop of blood shed was in service of this nation's security. He's doing what only a few have the guts to do. And in this case, it's out of love for you that he was determined to ensure that those who harmed you and your mother faced justice. My lady, can you truly fault him for that?"

His words struck you like a boulder, and you realised he might be onto something.

The royal secretary grinned as he observed your expression, knowing his words were making an impact, "Besides, you've been here long enough to witness how good he can be to those he cares about. That includes you, all the staff in this estate, as well as his loyal friends currently seated in the living hall. Surely, there must be a good reason why these people choose to remain by his side, wouldn't you agree?"

Noting your silence and contemplative expression, San understood that you needed time to digest everything. While he hoped he had made a valid point, he knew that your conflicting emotions wouldn't dissipate so easily. Nevertheless, he had done his best to encourage you to keep an open mind and speak the truth.

Ultimately, the next steps were up to you.

"As much as I'd like to stay and chat, I have another appointment scheduled in an hour, so I should probably head to my next destination." He announced, rising from his seat opposite you.

His words snapped you out of your reverie as you got up after him, "Ah, yes, of course. I can't thank you enough for everything, San."

As you escorted him towards the exit, he smiled warmly at you, "You're most welcome, Lady Park. Don't fret too much about the royal event next week. I'm sure you'll do splendidly, especially considering you've already managed to impress the fourth prince. He's not an easy royal to handle, so that's quite an achievement."

Prince Yeosang is... not easy to handle?

Before you could ask him to elaborate, the royal secretary was already boarding his carriage. With a defeated sigh, you waved at him as the vehicle began to pull away.

Heading back inside, your mind reeled from his words. His Highness had never seemed difficult around you, so you struggled to comprehend what San meant. Besides his slightly playful demeanour, you didn't find the prince hard to handle in any way.

Before you knew it, your head began to throb with the endless thoughts swirling around. Eunsook rushed over in concern when she saw you swaying, your hands pressed against your temples.

"Mistress! Are you feeling alright? Oh dear, you look exhausted," She exclaimed, her worry evident in her voice, "That's enough studying for today. Go and rest. I'll bring you dinner when it's ready."

Throughout the rest of the week, Jongho and the others couldn't bring themselves to warn you about the potential advances of the fourth prince. They noticed how visibly stressed you were, dedicating all your time to refining your ladylike etiquette and practising formal speech with the head maid. Your determination for perfection in your debut at a royal event was clear as day.

After receiving all the help you needed, you were finally ready for the banquet. Standing before the mirror, you inspected yourself, admiring the delicate red flower the dressmaker had once again helped you paint on your forehead, perfectly complementing your new hanbok, "Are you pleased with the look, Lady Park?"

You nodded enthusiastically, "Absolutely, Hongjoong. You never disappoint, and you know that."

With newfound confidence, you departed from the general's estate, accompanied by Jongho and Eunsook. Mentally reviewing the list of potential royals in attendance, you appreciated Wooyoung's efforts in the past week as he assisted you with retrieving specific books from the public library and studying the royal family tree.

The private investigator lingered near the estate's entrance after seeing you off, his jaw slightly agape. He had always found you pretty, but seeing you all dressed up and with the flower on your forehead, he was struck by your ethereal beauty. Just as he was about to entertain the thought that Seonghwa must have saved an entire country to deserve someone like you, he realised that might actually be true.

"Excuse me, Jung Wooyoung. That's not your lady to be ogling like that. Behave yourself, or I'll have to whoop your ass on behalf of the general." Hongjoong warned, rolling his eyes as the younger man pouted before sulking back inside the estate.

As your carriage approached the familiar high palace walls, Jongho and Eunsook exchanged determined glances. They had agreed to stick by your side at all times, wanting to protect you from whatever schemes Prince Yeosang might have planned for the event.

"We've arrived, mistress." The assistant announced as the carriage came to a stop.

With the head maid's assistance, you stepped down from the carriage with slightly less ease than when your husband carried you, feeling a pang in your heart as you were reminded of him. Despite your complicated feelings, you couldn't deny the longing for his presence. You hoped he was safe and well while you attended the birthday celebration of another.

Approaching the grand entrance of the hall hosting the fourth prince's birthday banquet, you noticed that the palace staff responsible for announcing guests had recognised you immediately, sparing Jongho the need to introduce you. As you reached the entrance, the staff announced in a loud voice, "Miss Jang, eldest daughter of the former Minister of Military Affairs, has arrived."

Your shock was palpable as the announcement rang out, your eyes widening and your stomach sinking at the unexpected introduction. The last thing you wanted was to be associated with your father, especially not at such a prestigious event. You had been specifically told by the prince that you were here to represent your husband. So why would they announce you like that, using your past title, when you now held a new and official one as the general's wife? The discrepancy left you feeling uneasy and out of place as you stepped into the grand hall.

What's the meaning of this, Your Highness?

« Preview of Part 16 »

"General Park! Letters for General Park!"

The messenger's urgent cry echoed through the camp, drawing attention to the main tent where Seonghwa typically conducted his affairs between battles. Bursting into the tent, the messenger gasped for breath, his eyes darting around, "Sir, may I enter?"

"Come in," A deep voice replied, but it wasn't the general's. Officer Song, the military strategist, sat alone inside, his gaze fixed on the newcomer, "General Park is uhh... preoccupied elsewhere at the moment. What brings you here, soldier?"

Handing over the stack of letters he carried, the messenger answered, "The general has received a few missives, one from his assistant and another from His Highness, the fourth prince."

Mingi's brow furrowed in confusion, "The fourth prince?"

The messenger nodded vigorously, "Yes, His Highness mentioned it's regarding an urgent matter and should be delivered to the general as soon as possible."

Officer Song nodded in acknowledgement, "I see. Leave it to me, soldier. I'll ensure it reaches him as soon as he's available."

As soon as the messenger departed, Mingi's curiosity overwhelmed him, and he unfolded the letter from Prince Yeosang. His breath hitched as he absorbed the concise yet weighty message. The prince started off by conveying gratitude for Seonghwa's service to the nation and extended well wishes, reassuring him not to worry about returning.

However, the content took a surprising turn with his final paragraph.

'Out of respect for you, I am writing to inform you that I will be proposing to Miss Jang. I believe she deserves the freedom to choose her own husband. Perhaps what she needs is someone who can remain by her side and not cause her any worry. If you truly care about her happiness, you would understand.'

Once again setting the stage for the main event HAHA sorry for the (sorta) filler chapter, but I promise there will definitely be drama in the next part.😈

Also, thank you so much for 1.3k followers! As always, thank you for reading and please let me know your thoughts! <3

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[shadesoflsk]

        MOONTALK

pairing: Leon Kennedy x GN Reader.

summary: After retiring, Leon often has nightmares about his past. Talking under the moon's gaze seems to help.

warnings: Smut MDNI, just oral (m receiving), angst to fluff to smut hehe, mentions of death, violence, and alcohol, catholic symbolism, dad bod leon hehe (x2) subby leon, reader is called spouse.

word count: 3.5k

author's note: Hello! This is very simple since I'm trying to get better at writing smut for gender neutral readers :) There's not enough content and while I improve at writing the whole sex scene I shall bring you this! (I'm open to suggestions or constructive criticism.) As always, I hope you're having a good week!

The starry night is chosen to be Leon’s witness in the middle of his stolen slumber. 

It’s a common occurrence, part of himself longs for the pain-filled activity since it serves as a reminder of his own life. Night terrors scare him more than his anxiety. The first one clings to his soul and threatens him with an inability to wake up. Helpless to his own mind, he prefers to be fully awake.

However, his brain isn’t his friend. Even when awake and aware of his surroundings, his mind would recreate scenarios he has lived before. Blood dripping and sticking to his combat boots, the smell of the iron-ish liquid filling his nostrils painfully making its home in Leon’s head, messing up with his perception of the world and himself.

Somewhere in that messed up path, he had found you. 

He didn’t intend to, it wasn’t in his plans to. He had locked his heart and thrown the key somewhere in the sea of his failures. 

A feeling of regret brimmed in Leon’s soul. How could his name be attached to yours if the sole mention of Leon Scott Kennedy brought memories of hell on Earth? A former rookie cop, ready to risk his life on duty turned into the government's best weapon.  He’s made peace with that, ever since his mission in San Francisco his life has gotten significantly better.

But that doesn’t mean it has stopped hurting.

He once heard Jesus presented his left cheek to be slapped. In the past, he’d have imagined the mere thought of being that naive was ridiculous.

“You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”

Now, that passage has been planted in his heart like a thorn that wouldn't go away no matter how much he pinched the skin. But rather than being a bothersome feeling, it shaped him into the man he is now.

He would never be Jesus, he knows that much. Ever since he was a kid, his connection to religion was always dangling between trust and distrust; faith and doubt. Fear crossed his juvenile and innocent expression whenever he came across a statue of the people’s lord and savior.

God bad, Jesus good. People good and bad. The Old Testament was the backbone for Leon’s hatred towards God. If this supernatural being ‘loved’ his people, why would he punish them?

Sins are ambiguous. Killing is bad. But if he had killed creatures that were no longer humans, is he a sinner without redemption?

He’s still coming around that last statement. Were they really no longer humans?

That’s why he prefers the New Testament. A fresh start, a new life being born. Jesus wouldn’t judge him for the man that he was and is. 

And just like him, he turned his left cheek in a mission in San Francisco years ago, when he ended Maria’s life. Bitter and revengeful for killing her father, the woman made it her mission to murder Leon. But ultimately (and ironically) she ceased to exist in Leon’s arms. 

‘Revenge’ was met with a ‘Now you can be with your dad again.’ Merciful, he had granted her a last moment of peace.

The soundless night heightens Leon’s senses. As he tries to brush off his worries, some footsteps break the unnerving silence that Leon is in. His ears focus on the soft pace that he easily identifies as yours. 

Recognition turned into monotone and monotone into mundane. And don’t get him wrong, God he loves feeling he has finally found his home.

Leon’s arms are resting on the balcony railway, blue eyes focused on the starry night. 

“You should be sleeping.” He flatly says without turning to face you. Not out of apathy but guilt. Not being next to you has woken you up.

“Can’t sleep without my husband.” 

Sensing you approaching, he opts to tease, trying to divert your attention somewhere else. “Wouldn’t be my dear spouse if you weren’t clingy.”

“I’m not clingy.” But you wouldn’t allow Leon’s usual antics. You know them by heart, lighthearted jokes instead of facing reality. “I’m just worried,”

“You worry too much.”

“But I’m always right.”

A sigh. 

Teeth biting the inside of his cheek.

“It’s hard to sleep sometimes.” The phrase is not directed at you, but a response to his own thoughts. For him, safe and sound sleep is a blessing he’s not lucky enough to receive. 

“I know.” And then again, your reply isn’t about yourself. A feeble smile appears on your face out of empathy and partial understanding. Standing next to him, your elbows rest on the balcony railway, the chill air sending goosebumps through your skin. “Did you dream about something?”

Leon’s eyebrows knit in concentration as he mull over her question. When he tries recalling his past moment of slumber he is met with the usual gruesome scenario and the same gut-wrenching screams.

“Same old tale.” He exhales. In the past he would have had a glass of whiskey in his hand, tilting the content to one side as he gazed over the starry sky. But he made a promise, and as much as his past comes back to haunt him, he’d keep it. 

“Is that it?”

“Yes.”

“Why I don't believe you?”

He brings a calloused hand to his mouth as he registers your words. Under the moonlight, his expression gives away his exhausted state, a hint of darkness around his eyes, a permanent faint frown. 

“You don’t want to know.”

“Yet here I am asking.” It’s not until now that you notice Leon’s shirtless torso. Most of his scars are turning a light white color while his bruises are changing their hues. His body is not the same from a few years ago. His abdomen no longer shows off his chiseled abs but a slightly round and soft belly. 

“Feels like I’m walking in circles.” He finally answers with his eyes closed. His restless mind can’t give him a break. Unable to completely live in peace, he finds himself pondering about his own humanity.

“The past is always clearer at night.” With an expression akin to resignation, he looks at you. “And the past tells me I’m a monster.”

The faint sound of the clock could be heard even when they were both gazing into the sky and letting their thoughts be consumed by the chill night. It reaches the dreaded ‘Devil’s hour,’ 3 AM. 

“You aren’t a monster.” And it is the truth. While Leon is a complex man, it is not a difficult task to unravel and search through the layers he has covered himself in. His heart beats for the nation and therefore its citizens. 

“If I’m not a monster then what am I?” He replies, his face growing somber. “If what I’ve done isn’t destruction what is it?”

“Salvation.” 

It is far from salvation. It’s selfish to even think that way.

Sadly, Leon was the designated pawn to complete the job nobody wants to do. 

Sadly, Leon is no more than a victim in the web of despair and destruction.

“Salvation.” He scoffs, a sharp ironic demonstration that your words weren’t the best. “I used to fight while the innocents kept falling at my feet.”

A glimpse of a past self appears in front of you. Chaos and loathing unfurls. 

It’s been years since you last saw the man who used to drown himself in the deadly burning liquid. However, the alcohol no longer filled the empty spaces in his body and soul.

Truthfully speaking, nobody can fix or heal anyone. But you gladly took the role of being Leon’s partner in life. Not only romantically speaking. Silently, you made a home in Leon’s heart and he was too comfortable with you to ask you to leave him. 

“You didn’t do it in the first place.” You place a comforting hand on his shoulder. “The government did.”

“But I was just another bullet in a gun.” He replies softly, his gaze drifting forward. Even after all of these years, he couldn’t completely shake off the guilt that kept haunting him. “Another man with his finger on the trigger… I was just a man with a gun.” 

“And you’re also a man with a heart.” You respond immediately, not giving him a chance to continue his venom-filled words toward himself. 

“If you were the demon you think you are, these late-night thoughts wouldn’t be haunting you as they do. You wouldn’t be mourning every soul even after all these years.” Your words bring a sense of comfort amidst the internal battle that is occurring inside him. The weight of his burden has always been more bearable with you.

“You think I’m that much of a saint?” A faint smile tug at Leon’s lip. A troubled expression on his face tells you he is still not believing your words. Or perhaps, he feels like he shouldn’t believe you.

“I don’t think you’re a saint. Humans are much more than black or white, good or bad. We are gray.”

Your statement is true. Humans are far from being one-dimensional beings. The balance has always been there and he knows it. When he was a child and religion was still an important part of his life, he remembers when Jesus protected Mary Magdalene. 

‘He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.’

Leon had stained his hands with blood and gore, but he had also saved countless lives when the odds were against him.

“God… I’m pathetic, aren’t I?” He laughs, finally bringing you closer to him with his arm around your waist.

“No, you’re just human.”  You reply, admiring the view your balcony provides, you think about the endless possibilities in life. If you hadn't met Leon, where would you be? And if Leon hadn't met you? How his life would look right now?

Universe works in mysterious ways, if you hadn't been in the right place at the right time, you wouldn't have your soulmate next to you.

A comfortable silence sets in as Leon finally relaxes and gives his mind a break. There were days and nights in which his brain was weak, but that doesn’t mean he hasn't gotten better.

“I would do laundry and taxes with you in every timeline.” You break the silence with a quote from a movie both of you had watched and Leon being the moviegoer he is, you know he’ll recognize it.

“That's not how the line goes, you silly.” 

Bingo.

“Then enlighten me, Mr. I know every movie by heart.”

“It is ‘in another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.’” He states matter-of-factly which gains a laugh from you. But in a way, you’re used to his antics and almost nerdy personality only you get to see.

But your words mixed with the ones from the movie hold a glimmer of truth. Even in a timeline in which he wasn’t an agent and just a regular citizen, you’d have fallen for him. Because his past doesn’t make him the man he is now. 

In another life, you’d love him over and over again.

“But I’d do all those things in this life and even in the afterlife.”

His eyes fall on you, the glimmer in them now being obvious. Just a few words from his love would pull him out from his depressive nights.

“You never cease to amaze me.”

“I’m just amazing like that.” You wrap your arms around Leon's neck while his hands rested on your middle section. “Now hug me because I’m fucking freezing.”

“Let’s go inside, shall we?” Laughing, he pulls you closer in a tight embrace. “I’d hate for you to catch a cold. Besides… I need my cuddling partner every night.”

As both of you move out of the balcony and away from the cold wind of the night. Leon’s hands move painfully obvious to your rear. After his late thoughts, he only wants to feel you close to him.

“I don’t think you want to cuddle.” You remark the obvious. Leon just chuckles, nodding.

“Aside from being the perfect partner you’re also a mind reader?”

You step in your bedroom. Place that has been witness to Leon’s most vulnerable moments, from the times in which he'd come back from a mission to the ones in which both of you would get lost in each other's bodies.

His sanctuary, your heaven.

You smile at him as you motion him to sit down on the bed. Both of your eyes are locked in a gaze that says what you are feeling, love. No matter how hard his or your days could be, both of you could always come back to a partner that takes care of them. No matter the situation.

As he takes a seat on the edge of the bed, you lean closer and press a kiss to his forehead, to his nose, to his cheek, and lastly to his lips. This last one lingers more than the others, sweet and slow, like how you want to treat him tonight.

“I love you.” You whisper as you pull back from the kiss, your thumb grazing over his stubbled jaw.

“Love you more.” He responds with the same tenderness you have brought him. After saying his words, his hands traveled to where your hips were, attempting to pull you closer.

“Nuh-uh. Tonight’s about you, sir.” You have your mind set that this night is going to be all about the perfect husband you have in front of you.

With that, your lips once again found their home but this time it was on Leon’s neck. 

With your lips giving some attention to Leon’s sensitive skin, you treat him like he was fragile porcelain. 

After a few moments, you slowly lower yourself until you're between his thighs. Another reminder of how much his body has changed, his thighs were fuller and bit less toned than before.

He has seen you like this before, on your knees and with the sweetest of looks but dear God it gets better every day. 

You press your cheek against Leon’s inner thigh, your hand rubbing the flesh that is still covered with his sweatpants. He was no longer an active agent therefore he had gained some weight which you completely love. He blames the alcohol he used to drink so much and the lack of high-impact exercise.  But you always reassure him that you love him nonetheless. 

Your hand creeps to his clothed crotch, you gently trace along the bulge that has already formed. Leon’s breath is starting to get heavier but nothing too scandalous, for now. 

“I haven’t even touched properly and you’re already this hard.” You are trying to be gentle, but there’s something about having control over him even when you’re on your knees that just prompts you to tease him a hit.

“Might as well cum in the spot, don’t you think? Bet you’re already imagining me pulling down your boxers and stroking your cock.” The face Leon was making could send you straight to heaven. 

“You’re the devil…” Leon tries, he tries to gather himself by making a joke. But his high-pitched speech comes out pathetic. A rebuttal? More like a whine.

“What? My handsome husband can’t handle the spice? I expected better.” The praise seems to hit a spot somewhere in his body because the way his hips just bucked and sought the friction of your hand was contradictory to his previous words.

“Please…” And after that whimper, you no longer want to tease the man. Especially tonight in which he deserves the best. 

“Ok, ok. I gotcha…” You murmur, wasting no more time and pulling his sweatpants down. A wet spot is already formed in his gray boxers. Then again, more teasing words flood your mind but you brush them off.

With a gentle kiss on his inner thigh, your fingers hook around the fabric and slide it down. His dick springs forward, and as always, it makes your mouth water. It’s the same image as always, slightly curved lenght with veins you had memorized by now and a reddish tip that tells you how bothered and pent-up he’s been.

Marriage has always been depicted as a boring and monotonous lifestyle, in which you get bored of your spouse after a couple of years. In a sense, you understand where they come from. However, Leon and you always made sure to keep things interesting, and as corny as it sounds, both of you try to make the other fall in love again.

You press a kiss on his tip, holding back a laugh as you know how sensitive he must be. The slightest touch has him gripping the bedsheets. 

“You’re teasing.” He says as his lips form a pout. His calloused hands flatten on top of your hair 

“Am I?” You give his shaft a few kitten licks, not breaking eye contact while doing so. 

Finally, your shenanigans are followed by your lips wrapping around his tip, sucking the area. That gains a whimper out of Leon, the ones you’re so used to. 

When you first met the stoic agent, you wouldn’t have thought that he’d be so vocal in bed. Even when he was supposed to be on top, he’d let the most beautiful moans against your ears. asking for permission to continue, asking for permission to fill you up.

For a moment, your lips continue sucking off his tip. Your saliva coating the area and sloppily making out with the head of his dick. Your fingers wrap around the base of it, almost overwhelming Leon with the amount of attention he is receiving. 

“Ah — Fuck…” His eyes roll back as you finally take him whole. The previous ministrations long forgotten as your mouth and part of your throat surround his sensitive cock. 

You bob your head, slowly at first, controlling your breath as Leon involuntarily thrusts his hips making his tip hit the back of your throat. You place your hand on Leon’s thigh, to motion him to stand still. 

“Shit — sorry, sorry…” His voice gets slightly higher, now his previous words turn into pleas or straight-up moans. Drool pools at the corner of your mouth as your tongue runs on the underside of his cock. 

“Too good for me…” He’s reduced to just babbles and whines, his knuckles turn white as keeps on gripping the bedsheets, an awful attempt to drown more moans. As you continuously bob your head, Leon could feel his high coming.

Unconsciously and given his dazed out state, he brings his leg to your shoulder. You were completely focused on him and this simple action made your concentration break a bit. He’s putty in your hands, his brain no longer functioning whenever you are in control.

You’d edge him, you’d definitely tease him for that. But now, you just continue sucking him off with the inner side of his thigh brushing against your cheek. 

“I’m gonna  — Fuck…” It’s not a warning, but a comment, a needy announcement. As much as he denies it, there’s not a better image than seeing you covered with his cum, or watching you swallow it whole. It made him feel a sense of pride, knowing that his spouse is the one making him come undone. 

And as your tongue runs along a vein, he couldn’t contain it any longer. With a high pitched whine and throwing his head back, he spills down your throat.

The warm liquid fills your mouth and some of it drips from the corner of your lips. 

You stay still for a moment, collecting every last drop of Leon’s cum. When you feel Leon’s hand on your shoulder —the one that doesn’t have his leg on it— you know he was asking you for a break. 

Pulling out with a pop, you gently move his leg for him to rest. 

For a few seconds, you just massage your jaw as Leon tries to recover. Heavy breaths fill the dark room, allowing you to relax once again.

“You good?” You ask as you are sitting down on the floor. 

“Yeah — Just… give me a second.” He laughs, closing his eyes. A loving smile forms on his face. 

You laugh too, getting up from the floor, you admire the scene Leon provides you: All of his body exposed to you, his sweatpants and boxers pooling at his ankles, and his fucked out expression. 

Heaven.

After a minute or so, Leon composes himself. 

“I’ll make sure to wake up every night if this is the treatment I get.”

“Next time I will just tie you up to the bed.”

“Oh? I like the sound of that.”

Laughing, you slap his naked chest as he pulls you closer. Nights like this are a reminder of his humanity and his right to love and to be loved. The past can never be changed or forgotten, but he can learn from it.

💬shadesoflsk: Comments, reblogs and likes are very much appreciated.

author's note 2: I just had to mention eeaao! It's one of my favorite movies and I know Leon would love it. Sorry if it was too sappy of me but then again... I'm always like that.

[dearly-somber]

stand still (i’m sniffing you) | j.jk

-> pairing. wolf shifter!jungkook x human!reader (f)

-> genre. slow burn, f2l (friends-to-lovers), (not actually) unrequited love, pining, mutual pining, high school!au, werewolf/shifter!au, fluff, domestic fluff

-> w/c. 802

-> rating. 13+

-> a/n. Inspired by that one clip where Jungkook back-hugs Hoseok while they’re practicing 🥹🥹

-> collection. mini-series

-> warnings. None!!

-> started. Mon., Feb. 19th, 2024 @ 21:42

-> fin. Mon., Feb. 19th, 2024 @ 22:19

-> edited. Tues., Feb. 20th, 2024 @ 07:06

-> divider credit. @mmadeinheavenn

Jungkook has a stronger sense of smell than the rest of his pack. Partially because his wolf is simply better at it (much to the pack’s chagrin, because Jungkook never fails to bring it up during their biweekly pissing contests), but also because he’d been blessed with a good sense of smell even in his human form.

Something is burning a street down? Jungkook can smell it.

Someone took a shit in the backyard because they were too lazy to shift and do it inside where they could flush it? Jungkook can smell it (and he’s going to make it everyone else’s problem).

Y/N comes over without letting him know and—wait, what?

He sticks his head out of his room like an excited cartoon character. “Bunny?”

Jennie glowers at him as she’s walking down the stairs, shaking her head with a sigh. “She’s not even halfway up the pavement.”

Jungkook frowns, feeling a prickle of embarrassment race up the back of his neck. “A-and! You know she’s here!”

“Yeah, ‘cause I can hear her,” Jennie sasses, scoffing with a grin so shit-eating Jungkook thinks his eye twitches, “not because I’m so honed in on her scent that I know she’s coming from a mile away.”

“Okay it was not a mi—Y/N!”

She huffs as Jungkook barrels into her, stumbling back ever so slightly. Jungkook feels his wolf wagging his tail like the love-struck mutt he is, pulling back at Y/N’s signature okay, that’s enough pat-on-the-back she does whenever she deems a hug “over”.

“I didn’t know you were coming!” He can’t help but speak loudly, wondering if his eyes are sparkling—cliche, sure, but he remembers Yoongi mentioning it once, and it hasn’t left his mind ever since.

Y/N laughs (Jungkook’s heart soars in his chest), shaking hee head as she drops a duffel bag next to the coffee table, walking toward the kitchen with Jungkook hot on her heels.

“I wasn’t planning coming over but my mom dropped me off to go to the library and she isn’t picking me up until five, so I decided to come over and hang out.”

That explains it! Jungkook wondered why Y/N smelt more bookish than usual today. It’s always present under her daffodil-raisin combo, but it makes sense why it’s so much stronger today. He imagines her sitting in the library for hours on end, fully immersed in a book, and the thought makes him smile like a fool.

Jungkook is hit with the sudden, overwhelming urge to smell you. Fueled by his excitement at a surprise-visit and the whims of his wolf, he wraps his arms around your shoulders, pulling you into his chest and pressing his nose to the back of your neck. His nose scrunches happily as he inhales your scent, first in short, wolfish little huffs, and then in longer, more appreciative inhales which infiltrate all his senses.

He waddles into the kitchen clinging to Y/N’s back, vaguely aware of the conversation she’s started with Rosé, Seokjin and Jisoo (who are busy making dinner), too focused on keeping his nose scrunched to the back of her neck to hear (or truly care about) the specifics.

“Jungkook-ah,” Y/N says softly, reaching up to touch his hands.

“Stay still,” he huffs, feeling a tingle run up his arms when she shivers at his breath on her neck. “I’m sniffing you,” he mumbles, swaying her from side to side as they come to a standstill in the middle of the kitchen.

Y/N snorts, and he imagines she has a smile on her face.

“Yah!” Seokjin yells, maneuvering around them with a pot of rice held close to his chest. “I’m trying to cook!”

“Yeah!” Rosé frowns, roughly mixing what Jungkook now realizes is kimchi. “Get a room!”

“Kook,” Y/N starts.

The whine he lets out dies in the back of his throat when she reaches up over her shoulder to palm his hair, gently scrunching her fingers in the messy strands. “Lemme help cook dinner and then we can play some Mortal Combat before I leave, hm?”

Waiting until the heat in the tips of his ears cools a little, Jungkook gives a curt little nod of his head (blatantly ignoring his wolf’s request to nip your shoulder). He inhales long and hard before finally letting you go.

Y/N then very casually turns to help the trio in the kitchen as Jungkook plops onto the couch in between Lisa and Hoseok with a satisfied sigh, practically sitting on top of them.

He yelps, rubbing the back of his head when he feels Hoseok smack him over the head with a pointed look.

“What?” he says, high-pitched and pouting.

Lisa just laughs, shaking her head as she scrolls through her phone. “You’re hopeless, Kook.”

<- prev | next ->

[whalesforhands]

hear me out: dyf!mc touching gojo AND geto too, but not only their muscles. what if she traced her fingers along where she remembers there being scars or injuries? what if she were to ask them what happened after she “died?” i feel like that would make for some rlly heart wrenching hurt/comfort and closure to the failed mission for the trio? :((

-omori anon

warnings: suggestive, but only in the first few paragraphs

“Does it ever… Hurt?” It’s a vulnerable moment, pillowtalk after a session of copulating that leaves you all sweaty, lying in between the both of them as you’re on your side, facing Satoru as you trace the scar on his chest.

You weren’t aware he had one too, not when you had just noticed the one on Suguru.

It catches your eyes, the mark on his chest as your hands trail down the skin as he’s on top of you, your passion no where near interrupted as your hands subconsciously move to trail over the ‘X’.

He’s so close, so warm… A shy tilt of your head upwards towards him has his hips coming to a slow, his neck craning down to meet you halfway— Only for your lips to map across the scarred skin, shyly leaving kisses before your twinkling eyes look back up to meet his widened gaze.

A breath sucked in, a hand grasping both of your wrists, before Suguru’s mouth is desperately slotting over yours, a muffled yelp is all that is able to escape you.

“…fuck, that was cute.”

“Not when you’re here.” Satoru’s voice is full of steady adoration as he watches the arm Suguru has draped over you, your waist cuddled into the black-haired man’s arm as Gojo himself settles a hand on your cheek.

“Shoko said that you both were the only ones to be able to fully heal anything.” So… Why didn’t they? Why keep this painful reminder?

There’s a beat of silence that passes; and the air changes, tenser, hesitatant and a swallow of doubt.

Did you say something wrong? You’re starting to upset yourself as your hands still on his chest. “You don’t have to answer if—“

“I suppose I lacked confidence.” His eyes close as he brings your hand up to his face, lightly kissing your fingers. It’s unusual; seeing the Gojo Satoru lying next to you quiet, shaken, with a trembling hand that goes to desperately clutch at yours.

“I didn’t believe in myself enough to remember.” It’s a bane, his existence. Something he’s realized at the mercy of time. There’s nothing fulfilling about being ‘the strongest’ if there’s no one beside you. Though, he will be able to handle it, to power through it all, through anything.

But at what cost? If he already lost you; if he lost Geto Suguru… What will become of him? Why does he keep this lowly mark on him that will only flay his mind with torture and distress?

Because it has you. It has you— Inscribed into the affliction, lived on through the searing burn it gives him sometimes.

He’s only human, even if born with power to rival the gods. Age will catch up to him, jamming his thoughts and evaporating the swirling blue of his youth away.

So even if his precious blue memories were broken beyond recognition with time, this unsightly scar that scalded his skin— As long as it was proof that you existed, he wouldn’t forget about it.

A novelty that had yet to wear off. It almost brings a tear to his eye how poetic he thinks he is; he wonders what Suguru thinks. It was never discussed between them; more like a silent contract they’ve subjected themselves to every night as they indulged in each other’s presence in the days without you.

A chuckle leaves his lips as he breathes out the next few words. It’s kind of funny, humorous to him that he gets to say them now, the words he had been trying to formulate for the nights that lost you.

“I love you.” And he’d say it for as many times as you want— As many lives as you and Suguru can continue to exist.

I love you I love you I love you I love you—

It’s in these moments that Gojo Satoru realizes how much weaker he is than he thinks, how the warmth of your blood sparks against your skin, how the distance of your pigments are finally gone. How the shine of your eyes still persist even after all this time.

So don’t leave again. Don’t.

“For me— I guess I didn’t want to change.” Suguru’s soothing voice is breathed into your ears as the soft whisper is audible enough for all three to hear. He finds it comparable to a brand, a morbid reminder of their failure, and at the same time— Of you. Would you call it selfish or nonsensical if he said this was only one such proof of their love?

Geto Suguru likes to think he took you for granted. To wallow in what he lost, what he failed to save, what he couldn’t do, even when struck with grief and anguish and terrible anger.

Is it an easy thing to say? Or is it a difficult thing to do? He can’t decide; Not when the act is to accept the fact that you had gone without them. The undefined and unknown seeped into him, a lack of words that only left him holding onto smoldering feelings.

He was lost, listless and blank, steeped in days that bloomed him into despair if it wasn’t for the glowing hope that allowed him to hang on in the form of Gojo Satoru.

“But it shouldn’t matter now, right?” His nose buries itself deeper into the crook of your neck as he feels you here. It almost scares him to get used to this.

In the time you were gone, it is painful how much things had been subject to change, how they all couldn’t stay the same as it was back in those nostalgic summers.

“I’m…” Speechless. You don’t know what to say as these two men nuzzle further into you, their holds getting tighter, wanting— Almost protectively. “Sorry…”

“Don’t be.”

“Whaddya apologizing for?”

You nearly want to cry at the way they’re so dismissive of their own past. “For making you think back to those times.”

“It’s really nothing,” Suguru closes his eyes as he breathes in the scent of your hair, the loveliness of your skin against his. “You’re here now.”

He answers for the both of them when he says that line.

There is no use for yesterday, no point of crying for what that was lost. So, let them love you and each other until the end of this time, and let them do it again in the next life all over again.

Because it’s odd, an enigma— With how your hands have always been warmer than theirs.

masterlist

[roonilwazlib1234]

Many people in this fandom are just not ready to hold Snape responsible for his actions. It's always someone else responsible for Snape's own actions and bad decisions in life. But when it comes to doing something good then Snape is the saint reincarnated.

He was prejudiced against muggleborns and kept using the M word for them? He had to do that to survive in the slytherin house of course.

He used that word on Lily? It was just the heat of the moment. Lily didnt have to overreact!

He lost Lily's friendship? She should have been the bigger person and not ended their friendship on a mere word.

It was more than just that one word, it was the culmination of all his bad words and actions she had been trying to ignore or overlook for the sake of that friendship.

And even if it was just that one word she still would have been well within her right in doing so because how dare he? If my friend used that kind of slur on me, a slur people who wanted me stripped of magic, the people who wanted me dead used, literal terrorists used than I would never even want to see the face of that person in my life again.

And if she is expected to overlook that supposed slip of tongue then why isn’t Snape expected to make efforts to overcome his prejudice for the sake of their friendship? For his supposed love of life? Why isn't he expected to see the error of his ways and not become a deatheater? If you had read the story carefully enough you would know that she gave him a chance to backtrack, but as she said, he didn't even deny that he was gonna join Voldemort. So much for trying to save the friendship!

And oh obviously, he was not responsible for becoming a death eater, that was on the Marauders. If only he wasn't bullied by the evil, devil incarcerated Marauders then he would never have chosen that path. But James and Sirius bullying him is solely their own fault (it totally was their fault in that memory, they were arrogant douchebags alright. Some of us have enough sense not to defend the bad actions of even those characters that we like. That's what makes them our favourite characters, their flaws and the growth they show by overcoming these flaws).

And don't even get me started on the whole prophesy fiasco. The reason some people heroworship him is because he changed sides for Lily. Are you serious? Thats what you got from that scene? He literally condemned an infant to death by delivering that prophesy to Voldemort! Just for a moment forget about all the good and bad of Snape, James and Lily, forget them all for a moment. Focus on this, he delivered the prophesy to Voldemort fully aware that Voldemert is gonna hunt down and kill a new born child. HE DID NOT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT AN INFANT'S LIFE!

The only reason he changed sides was because that was Lily's kid so obviously Lily was in danger too. At least he had the realisation that she was not gonna step aside and let her child die after he made that disgusting request to Voldemort of killing the child and sparing her life, that or well Voldemort is not gonna keep his word. Whatever it was, it was not a sudden change of heart or him seeing the error of his ways, it was just one small human side in him which didn't want Lily to be murdered. Ironically he joined a group which wanted to murder her in the first place.

But yes, he would have been completely fine if Voldemort had chosed to kill Neville, what a great hero! His bit of humanity only woke up when it came to Lily's life. Her small son's life did not matter, after all it will be one less Potter in the world (2 if you count James but we are not talking about him here, I don't expect any care about his life from Snape, he at least is entitled to not give 2 cents about James's life), No matter that she would never be able to get over the grief of seeing her child get murdered in front of her eyes. So as Dumbledore rightfully said "you disgust me"

Now that Potters finally die and Harry comes back to Hogwarts after spending a miserable 10 years with Dursleys, Snape had the gall to hate him, bully him and belittle him in front of everyone every chance he got. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR GETTING THAT BOY ORPHANED YOU STUPID BITTER MANCHILD. You are responsible for getting him hunted down by the greatest dark wizard to ever live, you are responsible for starting a chain of events which made the first 17 years of his life a living hell. And you still hate him because he is James Potter's son? The man you yourself got killed by your master? You hate him for being Lily's son and hence responsible for her getting murdered by Voldemort? Even though its you responsible for getting her killed not that innocent child who did nothing wrong but being born on a specific date.

And even though it is Snape responsible for everything that's wrong in Harry's life, still Harry is supposed to make up to Snape and match his standards? You expect Harry to be the bigger person and make amends with dear professor Snape even though all he ever gets from that teacher is verbal abuse every single time they come face to face. Sorry, if I had a teacher like him who singled me out on the very first day of class and insulted me without any fault of my own just because he hated my dead father(the father who is dead because of said teacher), I would never respect that bullying git in my life. Funny how Harry is expected to show adult behaviour and not the literal adult himself because again it's Harry's fault for not taking the insults quietly and always replying back with sass. It was Harry's fault that Snape hated him because he was a trouble maker who broke school rules, even though that is what saved that whole school from Voldemort multiple times, at the cost of his own life.

Because as I said before, Snape is never responsible for his own actions, its always someone else's fault. Every thing that went wrong in his life was because of James, Sirius, Lily and Harry's doing.

But on the other hand James and Sirius are slandered to bits because of what they did to snape. Even though they grew up, stood by their friends in times of need (becoming animagi for Remus, James welcoming Sirius in his home), joined the Order of the phoenix to fight the evil forces of Voldemort (noting that they really didn't have to if you think about it. Both of them were so called pure blood wizards. They would have been completely fine and even stayed protected and alive without going if they kept quite and never went against Voldemort due to their blood status) but they fought bravely, chose to do the right thing even at the cost of their lives. But still they are the real villains of the story because they hated Snape and attacked him unprovoked in that memory (I'll say again, they were both arrogant douchebags in that scene and Lily rightfully called them bullying toerags, no justification for their behaviour), Still their whole character is assassinated based on their interactions with Snape in school but their triumphs, their bravery and growth is overlooked and glossedover to justify Snape's actions, they are not the Heroes but worse than deatheaters.

I don't know about you, but being a death eater is way worse than being a bully in my book. And your favourite character was both, a deatheater and a bully to literal children, his own students, students he is responsible for.

Do you want to know a character in whose life everything went wrong due to the action of someone else? It's Harry and the responsibility lies with Snape.

But you will still justify all of Snape's actions and wrong choices because obviously Snape is never responsible for his own actions, its always someone else.

You want Snape's good and right actions to be celebrated, yes he was very brave for being a double agent, not many could have achieved that feat. Yes may be he later on overcame his prejudice against muggleborns (I am remembering that scene from Prince's memories in which he asks the portrait not tp use the M word), but a that took years and years of growth but I would acknowledge whenever he does a right thing.

But when in the same memory he shows shock at the revelation that Harry has to die and his whole life's work of Protecting him has been for nothing you moon over his care for Harry. Even though it was still not for Harry. When Dumbledore said that he has grown to care for the boy he was disgusted by the mere notion. It was all for Lily.

As it love for Lily? I don't think so. You don't destroy the life of the person you love. Was it guilt for getting the only person he ever cared a out and who ever cared about him? Yes for sure. At least his guilt made him do the right thing.

But he was not the hero you portrait him to be. He was not evil yes but he did more bad than he ever did good. He was just a darker shade of grey. May be that's what makes his character interesting. But you all are hell bent on making him a saint and putting the blame of his actions and choices on other heroes of the story.

Who do you put the blame of James a d Sirius's wrong actions on? Can't think of anyone? Neither can can I because they themselves hold that blame.

No one else is responsible for our choices, no one but ourselves.

But Snape is always an exception to this rule isn't he?

The double standards are mind-boggling!

[shalomniscient]

You don't have to post this if you don't wanna but thinking of how Sara would've suffered in Inazuma's very unequal society is doing things to my psyche.

Warning: this is LONG. Still hope you enjoy, your Kujou Sara takes keep me alive lol.

She's a Tengu. Immediately, she's going to be deumanised to some extent by swathes of people; yes, while it was mostly mentioned that Oni are historically discriminated against, the Youkai and humans are incredibly divided in modern Inazuma as is. A street orphan like Sara, someone not confirmed (yet?) to originate from a major wealthy Tengu clan/tribe like the Yougou Tengu would also lack any privilege by birth that would quell any outward discrimination, also considering how she was literally a homeless child living in the woods alone, parentless, and was chased off a cliff my monsters. Theoretically, if they discriminate against other species of Youkai like tanuki, then I don't doubt they'd stop at some random "unruly" Tengu kid. Also add in the way Yae Miko treats her canonically and in lore and yeah...

Sexism; people like to avoid this topic a lot but Inazuman society, especially the Tenryou Comission, is especially divided by sex. Yes, Sara was mistaken as a boy by the military as a kid, but growing up would have undoubtedly been isolating, especially as a non-human girl/woman. Plus, unlike Fontaine, Mondstadt, Sumeru, and Natlan, we see 0 female warriors outside of her; all the soldier NPCs are male. Even though Japan historically had female warriors, a vast majority in samurai families were heavily restricted to marriage and women were still seen as lesser than men. Accounting for the nuance of Sara not being human, it's also that she was possibly dehumanised to the point of not being seen as a girl at all, hence why she was raised as a weapon and exploited in this way. There is also a male NPC in tenshukaku who mockingly calls her "useless". Yes, Ei is the Shogun, but even Takayuki himself confirms he doesn't see her as a woman but only as a god - I'm probably reaching here, but even if a nation's leader was female, they often reinforced sexist values through the system; add in the whole concept of eternity and it's slightly ominous. Add in the whole gender-based clan inheritance thing and yeah...

Being raised as a weapon who wasn't allowed friends. This is pretty self-explanatory but comparing her to everyone else in Inazuma this hurts my heart, and the only person who ever acknowledges this is Ayato of all people; Miko had a hand to play in Sara's upbringing, and Sara's "daddy Tengu" (as Miko calls him) is fuck knows where and she's probably never had anybody to protect her out of love.

Probable disconnect from heritage. Unlike Itto who at least knew his parents enough to be aware of Oni culture and folktales, and Miko who lived lovingly among them, Sara only has her fan, Tengu Archery (debatable if this is even fully historical Tengu archery as in the art form) and her natural abilities and mask. Tanuki have their own language, and it's not importable that Tengu also have their own. Sara is also shown, in a description in one of her talents, to have "departed from her people, the Tengu, long ago". How does Yoimiya have the "Thundering Pulse", a bow originally forged by the Shogun for the Great Tengu Reizenbou and passed down to her human servant Takamine, while Sara gets... nothing? She wasn't even in the Youkai event. She's mentioned, sure, but what are her opinions on her heritage? Who taught her how to take care of her wings? Does she know any Tengu magic? Etc. etc.

Apologies for how long that was. Feel free to ignore this if you wanna, but I just needed to get my thoughts out.

-🐗 (if I ever come back, this is me. Just lmk if you don't want me to).

sorry for taking a while to reply but since i think you’ve landed in my inbox again (to which i welcome you and any and all kjsr asks) i’ll answer this one first. YES omg this is such a good analysis especially your second point; i had my own suspicions about inazuma’s sexism but i’ve seen net zero information about it in any discussions of inazuma so i thought i was just seeing shit akxbdjjshf but i’m glad to know someone else has also picked up on that little oddity! anyway, circling back to the last line of your first point…

i wanna preface this by saying i love yae miko. i have her c0r1, friendship 10, her talents are almost maxed. i ADORE her—but at the same time i definitely believe she was to some extent complacent in sara’s abuse as a child. realistically there’s no way she wouldn’t know about it; she’s essentially the shogun’s left hand woman. i doubt there’s anything that goes on in inazuma city she doesn’t know about, and i doubt her hands are tied this badly when it comes to doing something about it, since takayuki is the shogun’s no. 1 glazer and miko is practically the shogun’s voice. this does raise an interesting character point about miko’s own morality, which i personally think is very ei-centric. it’s very gay and a little fucked up of her and i love it as a character trait (non-human morality in a non-human character/dilemma of is humanity learned or ingrained?) HOWEVER it does make her (in my hc and interpretation) a bystander to sara’s abuse for which i do have some conflicted feelings about lmao

i agree with your last two points as well, wholeheartedly. although for ‘signature’ weapons i do try not to take them as character canon unless the character themself is mentioned in the weapon’s lore, like how the shogun is mentioned in the lore of engulfing. it would be cool if sara was the owner of thundering pulse though, i will admit. i’ve talked about some of the things you mentioned in some previous asks so i won’t rehash it here for the sake of not soundlike a broken record skchdjdh but rest assured i do the long ask, 🐗 anon! i enjoyed reading it :)

[kaimukiwahine]

Just gonna type my thoughts out based on my notes I wrote while playing the To the Moon Beach Episode. So spoilers/long ramble.

Short things:

They brought back many minor characters from Finding Paradise, thought that was very cute

References: The "Are you winning, son?" in the airport was charming but I did not expect to get a full FNAF section

I love the use of previous games OST: updated versions and the lo-fi versions

Animations were very charming and expressive; they even joke about it ("didn't have a budget for it. The dance lessons")

That inverted/hanging jellyfish planter. I need it. I need it now.

Rob learning what people are up to on the internet these days only to instantly regret it

Willis and Taima still going at it. They are lifelong couple goals: keeping the flame alive while dropping wisdom

I need that soundtrack.

Bigger things:

Johnny and River addressing what most players/general audience found concerning about the original game and overall premise of the series: Altering and overwriting of memories or basically the reality of the dying. While jokingly Johnny says he could never see himself using their services, both conclude it's their choice and they just need to accept it

This was slightly touched on in the Minisode but for it to be brought into attention by the original characters that kicked off this series, it's something.

The three books at the beginning already set forth what this game is gonna be all about: grieving and acceptance of the passing of a loved one. The first run through, Eva completely numbed her memories to enjoy the beach and time with Neil. But there was always something.

Second run, she "confronts" as Faye states the truth: Neil is dead.

It was hinted that Eva started drinking (in the store) and has been repeatedly using the machine Neil left behind that Neil becomes concerned for her. (Similar to Collin in Finding Paradise.) While she wants to stay on the beach and relive the same day over and over, it's not possible.

There was a brief mention of immortality. One being a jellyfish that reverts back to infancy as it reaches the end of their lifespan and questioning if it's still the same jellyfish or not. Then compared to humans how we regenerate new cells except the brain and heart.

Roxie finds it romantic, Eva wishes that those also gets replaced with every pass.

Neil's death was either sudden or his condition was kept secret from Eva? Eva mentioned he didn't give her enough time to prepare and Neil didn't know what to do and I think he said he made the machine just so he just doesn't disappear and to leave something behind for her.

*Edit* I completely forgot about Paper Memories. I'm guessing the phone call Eva got from Roxie was that Neil passed away (given how distressed Roxie was in that one panel). It is possible that that portion was in the machine and that Rob and Roxie were aware. That whole portion is basically like this Beach Episode.

Edit2: thinking again, the call could be him in critical condition since in the comic Neil mentions making that garden. Eva not replying to Neil on how he died makes it sound like it was traumatic. She mentioned something about a surgery when talking to Lynri and Quincy and asking how he is when he visits them but not sure if that's involved or just a throwaway line.

Neil lives on with regrets; mostly wishing Eva was his girlfriend and more. Though he isn't real in the game, he still carries the memories he had. He built her "a garden" (comic reference) but she started spending too much time. And she can't fully enjoy it because he continues to keep her at arms length.

Neil locked himself in his room, much like he did in many instances throughout the series and now canonically, all throughout the life Eva and Neil has been together. Thinking he's doing what's best for her when all she wanted is him to be "here'

He regrets those decisions but it's understandable on why he did it. In Impostor Factory, Lynri's condition was hereditary and is in Neil. Seeing Quincy's face of absolute loneliness knowing he's about to lose his wife and eventually his son, it would devastate anyone. Neil making a machine to make it so that Eva would never have to go through that, while admirable, changed nothing. If not, made things worse.

How they close the game was brutal: The world Neil created for Eva to never be alone after he has passed slowly fading away, concluding with Eva being alone, crying, as she turns the machine off.

You couldn't just leave it like this for them. Together alone on the beach.

No. It's just Eva. Alone.

[kuekyuuq]

Supercorp - Rehashing the Fallout once more

Today's menu: Kara Danvers' Double-Standards.

I am rewatching Supergirl, and it occurred to me why I am with Lena on the "you lied to me" point. (Not the brain-wash the planet or taking a year to get over herself and realize her own - horrible - mistakes parts, though.) Not because of the lie itself or its content, but its context with Kara's very own history!

Let's take a walk...

In the pilot Kara gets mad at Alex for her having kept her double-life as a DEO agent secret from her.

Kara is utterly disappointed and distraught at the secrets her parents kept from her (Medusa, Myriad), some of which affected her directly (Krypton's impending destruction).

Kara finds out that James is Guardian before he told her and she was pretty upset, explains it's because they are humans throwing themselves into danger.

When J'onn explains to Kara how bonded Martians share their minds, Kara expresses how she thinks the “no secrets, no lies” sounds “beautiful”.

Kara ends their relationship with Mon-El over him lying about his true identity (and him being the Prince of a cruel society), ignoring him when he said he tried several times to tell her. When Mon-El let himself into Kara's apartment to apologize, he BEGS for forgiveness

but Kara says she deserved better than being lied to… Yes, she secretly forgave him at this point but still breaks up with him (Rhea told her to do so) and cries over it.

Music Meister teaches Kara (and Barry): “Love is about letting yourself be saved, it's not just about saving other people.”

Trust.

Lillian tells Kara, she doesn't need to spill SG's identity, because when Lena FINDS OUT, it'll be so much worse.

(And Lillian was SO on point!)

When Kara and Clark spar and have a heart-to-heart, Kara wonders if she can have it all, Clark assures her about the most important people make keeping the secret worth it and how letting (only) those important people in IS enough. Later, asked the same questions, Cat tells Kara that women have the guts to be vulnerable, lists her accomplishments.

Kara does not take Lena possessing some of Lex's Kryptonite nor the whole Sam/Reign-secret kept from her well. Gets even angrier when Lena creates her own Kryptonite (in her quest to fight/cure Reign …and cancer and other human ailments).

Or Mon-El hesitating to tell and keeping from Kara about his time-travelling, marriage and his actual mission…

That is up until mid-s03 and not even counting the many times how the show also taught us through Alex', J'onns and Lena's lenses that lying and pretending to be someone one is not to those important/close to oneself, is harmful to their (romantic and platonic) relationships and themselves.

Do I need to go on?

...Kara is clearly fully aware at that point that secrets (even her own) do not bode well in any type of relationships she would like to have and keep.

And, yes, I am fully aware of the "point of no return" argument, in all its validity, that at some point the lies had stacked up so much, that the hurt was inevitable, the fear of rejection more and more founded, of Kara wanting to be "just Kara" with Lena… Every season, every in-show year that passed and Kara kept her secret(s), it became impossibly harder to come clean. But, re-watching the show, it just seems so… irresponsible? And the more often Kara makes a point herself being lied to is a bad thing, even …hypocritical.

I am not saying any of the people who lied to or kept things from Kara were in the right or wrong - a totally different discussion that would require individual assessment. But, Kara, making the same point over and over again? Several times about the very topic of hidden/fake identities and double-lives… But then proceeding to keep her proclaimed best friend in the dark about herself, still?

Yeah, that bugs me. A lot.

IMO, after the whole Mon-El returned thing Kara would or should have had an epiphany about telling Lena the truth about herself… but then Reign beat her into a coma and all kinds of hell broke loose.

But… Yeah. Not even for Supercorp reasons. But internal logic.

From a story-writing perspective; you have your (main) character face a (similar but slightly different) situation a couple times before they learn their lesson. You plant the seeds (in this case: identity reveal) and then have it play out, based on what the character had learned(!) this far. And you have them deal with the worst-case-scenario backlash, if you need any for drama's sake, but it should make some level of sense… Instead they had Kara learn nothing, had her lie to Lena for another two years, and turned Lena into a spiraling madwoman. And Kara… well, now in Mon-El's shoes, could not quite understand how Lena (in Kara's former shoes, but with much more tainted personal experiences) was deeply, intimately hurt, devastated, and struggling.

Kara saw this coming - but tbh, when Lillian spoke so (unintentionally) truthful, Kara should have focused on the implied "if someone ELSE but you tells her", and when talking to Kal, realized that he didn't keep his secret FROM his most important people (Lois, James…) to protect them. Taken Cat's advice to have the guts to be vulnerable to reap Lena's long-term trust instead of settling for "for now this works, right?".

Not to mention that the whole show over and over stressed, that Kara could "have it all" without revealing herself to the world (the 100th episode even making a point that telling the world WILL put her loved ones at risk) or deciding on one half of herself, but then the show ended, and… yeah… I guess, some sort of witness protection for everyone?

No more casual strolls for "just Kara" through the park…

I adore the show, but… continuity?

It's just a bit painful to re-watch the show and watch Kara fault and shame others over and over again, only to go ahead and do the thing herself... Aware, yet oblivious. And NOBODY calls her out on it. (The one time Alex asked her and Kara was all like "I had to take the dog to the vet" is too little too late.)

Thankfully the fandom is so amazingly creative <3

#Kue out.

[twstfanblog]

Monster AU Lore Facts

This au actually has my fankid OCs already placed with their twist parent in this AU. Such as Larimar already living with Floyd or Trey taking in Icsac.

Lilia brought home Silver as a baby. He claimed he was gone for the past year because he and the moon had entered a romantic relationship and Silver was the physical manifestation of their love.

Malleus is fully aware Lilia had an affair with a human and brought Silver home since Silver is clearly half human. Let's Lilia keep up his lie because he does think Silver looks like a moon baby.

Cater finds Ortho on the side of the road on the path to his house. He took him because he had such pretty yellow eyes. Ortho now haunts Cater's house and it takes Cater a good few WEEKS before realizing.

Ortho is a spirite who's forced to inhabit items to do anything on the physical plane. The items he possesse slowly take on traits from his true physical form. Which made Cater trying to customize 'his doll' super difficult to do.

Idia is a spirite roaming the lands trying to find his brother. He's actually an insanly powerful ghost who's able to interact with the physical plane without needing to possess anything.

Fae actually do eat humans in this AU. Its more of a luck of the draw kinda thing. The fae have soirees where humans and other monsters get lured into where they basically just have an old timey rave; complete with drinks and sexy times in more secluded areas of the woods.

Sebek's dad is a traveler who kept finding the soirees, and that's how he met Sebek's mom. They still have three kids, but it's like, every time this man walks into one of these soirees she just shows him a new baby they have together.

Marja is an old witch who's slowly prepping Epel to learn the craft. She's very friendly with monsters that pass through her orchard, which is why Jack takes it upon to patrole her property. Marja was kind to him one hard winter, and he just never went too far afterward. She makes a lot of her witch concoctions apple themed, which is on brand for witches in this AU. Gotta have a theme.

Trey was abandoned by his family in the woods once they realized he was a witch. It broke their hearts to do, but was kinder than turning him into the monster hunters to be killed. Trey is a pastry themed witch. He helps lost travelers, and if they're rude or monster hunters, he puts them into a trance and leads them to the swamp where the Tweels have made their home. It's a very good relationship they've got going on.

Within this, AU Crowley is the King of Monsters.

Crewel made a deal with Crowley that for the price of a child, he'd have his ideal life. Crewel agreed and thought he'd have to find a child to sacrifice to Crowley. Instead, he ended up pregnant.

Yuu's story jumps off from Crowley staging Yuu is now of age to inherit her title as princess and to make her way to his home.

Rook is a monster hunter who's only a monster hunter because he gets excited fighting monsters. He has a personal love of shape shifters.

[aceofstars16]

Enjoy! And yes, I came up with that title when I was still salty but...it fits so....xD

In case you can't read it on AO3, here it is below as well:

The REAL Epilogue

Burning. That was the first thing he felt. But as soon as he was aware of it, the pain dissolved into a pleasant warmth, radiating throughout his entire body.

Then he heard music. Sweet, beautiful music. A melody that increased the warmth in his body. For a moment, he couldn’t place why it sounded so familiar. Then it hit him. It was a whistleharp. Leeli’s whistle harp.

Everything that happened over the last few days - no, the last few months- came surging back. Every memory, both good and bad, hitting him like a sledgehammer.

Jolting upright, he gasped - a deep breath that he didn’t know his lungs needed until they had it. He looked around frantically. Had the stone worked? Was everyone okay? Where was he? It looked vaguely familiar but…

“Janner!”

A voice that Janner hadn’t heard in months filled his ears, but before he could fully grasp who he was looking at, arms flung around him, squeezing him tighter than they ever had before.

“Kal.” The name left Janner’s mouth before he even thought to say it as he found himself returning the hug. His brother was okay. He was human. Janner had protected him. But then…

“What-?”

His words were cut off as another pair of arms wrapped around him. Leeli had stopped playing and Janner moved one arm so he could hug her back. Both of his siblings were here. They were okay. But…where was here?

As he turned his attention to the forest around him, Janner caught sight of Nia looking at him, almost in disbelief. And next to her…

“Uncle Artham!”

Janner hadn’t seen his uncle in months, and just the sight of him brought a joy to his heart that he hadn’t been expecting. That joy grew when he saw Oskar and…

For a moment, Janner just stared at the girl standing there, her hand over her mouth. Could it really be? Then their eyes met and Janner knew. Only one girl had that light in her eyes, light that had carried him through some of the darkest moments of his life.

Sara Cobbler.

A moment after their eyes met, she let out a sob – but not one full of sorrow. It was a cry of joy. Which seemed to break a silent spell that had been holding the others back.

In a moment, Janner was surrounded by all those he loved. Being hugged – and kissed by Nia. A happy laughter filled the clearing, even as questions filled his head.

After everyone had sufficiently hugged him, Janner was finally able to ask the question that had entered his mind as soon as he woke.

“What happened? Where are we? How am I…?” His voiced trailed off. Had he just been asleep, or…had he died?

For a moment, the joy in the clearing faded as everyone traded looks.

Artham was the first to break the silence.

“The First Well.”

“What?” Janner looked around again and noticed for the first time, the sound of water.

“I remembered where it was.” Kalmar said, then laughed a little. “Though, it was a little harder to find as a human.”

“How…how long was I…?” Once again, Janner couldn’t make himself say the word.

“Three days.” Nia said softly, a shadow passing over her face, only to lift when Leeli spoke.

“But you’re okay now!”

“Right…” Janner nodded. “But what happened…I mean, is Anniera…is everyone…?”

“They’re all human again.” Kalmar said.

Relief washed over Janner. Then he caught Sara’s eye again.

“How did you…when did you-?”

Sara laughed. “It’s a long story.”

“Yes, and one better told around a fire, if I do say so myself.” Oskar piped in.

“Sounds good to me!” Kalmar said, which set everyone off laughing.

So, a fire was built, and Sara told Janner all about Dugtown. How she had rallied the orphans and escaped the Fork Factory – right at the same time Artham and Gammon had arrived to free them. And about the Fang’s attack and sudden disappearance from Skree. A shadow passed her face when she talked about her parents, how they hadn’t survived. But it lifted when she told him how her and the other orphans had decided that, if they were going to start a new life, they’d love for it to be in a place like Anniera.

Then Kalmar and the others filled him in on what happened after he had taken the stone, at least, for the most part. Janner had the feeling they were dancing around the word he himself had a hard time saying. But Kalmar told him all about giving everyone new names – which he admitted was kind of strange, as the names seemed to just come to him.

After that, came the story of how they found The First Well again. The sea dragons had taken them as far as the Blackwood, but they had to travel into the forest on foot. Kalmar told him how he retraced their steps from Clovenfast, and eventually found the water that he had given Oood only a week ago.

By the time the stories had been told, it was dark out. Nia insisted everyone get some sleep, which Janner was happy to do. Until he couldn’t fall asleep. He didn’t know why. He was tired. But something kept him up.

Eventually, he sat up, sighing as he quietly stood and walked a little closer to look at the water. The First Well water. It didn’t look different than any other water. But he knew better. Besides, the clearing itself had a calming presence, as if everything around it knew the water was special.

“I’m glad I found it again.”

Janner quickly looked over to see Kalmar, sitting against a rock, looking straight ahead. He didn’t look up, even as Janner sat down next to him.

“Me too.” Janner said quietly.

For a moment, they just sat in silence. Then Janner found that he couldn’t keep wondering any more. “Kal? Did…did I die?”

Kalmar stiffened, but didn’t answer right away.

“Kal?”

“Yes.”

It was a whisper, barely audible. But it sent a shiver down Janner’s spine.

“You took the stone from me.” Kalmar added, a heaviness in his voice.

“I know.”

“It was supposed to be me! Not you!” The force of the words broke through the silence of the clearing. Through the light of the moon, Janner could see tears in Kalmar’s eyes. And it was then that Janner realized there were already tear streaks on his brother’s face. As if he had already been crying.

“No, Kal. It wasn’t.”  Janner placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder, willing him to look at him. But he didn’t. “It’s my job to protect you. Anniera needs its king.”

“And I need you!” Kalmar shot back, looking at Janner for the first time. Then he seemed to realize what he said and shrunk back. If he was still fanged, his ears would’ve flattened on his head.

“Kal…” Janner didn’t know what to say. It was his job to keep Kalmar safe. And he didn’t regret what he’d done. But he couldn’t imagine what he would feel like if Kalmar had died protecting him.

Silence grew between them once again, only the sound of the water running filled the air.

“I don’t want to be king if it means you’ll die protecting me.” Kalmar said quietly. “I knew what I was doing…what…what I was supposed to do. I was ready.”

Even as he said it, Janner couldn’t believe it. He remembered the sadness in Kalmar’s eyes that morning on Anniera. Could anyone really be ready for their own death? Especially a kid?

“But I wasn’t ready to see you-” Kalmar’s voice cracked and he hugged his legs, shutting his eyes tight.

If anyone else had been around, Janner might’ve hesitated to hug his brother, but not tonight. He wrapped his arms around Kalmar and hugged him tight, wishing he could say something to help him. But what could be said?

Minutes passed before Janner spoke again. It might not make anything easier for Kalmar, but he had to try.

“I’m sorry, Kal. I…when I saw you with the stone, and realized what you were going to do, I knew I couldn’t let you. It needed to be me. And I don’t regret it.”

The only response was a shaky breath.

“But…Kal, I didn’t do it to hurt you, and I’m sorry it did.”

There was a quiet sniffle. “I can’t just tell you not to do anything like that again, can I?”

Janner swallowed. Because he knew that answer, and Kalmar did too. “I’ll always do whatever I can to protect you, Kal. And maybe one day it will happen again. But…I’m here now, okay?”

Kalmar opened his eyes and looked at Janner, really looked at him. The conflicting emotions swirling in the blue matched Janner’s own. For a moment, they just looked at each other, then Kal nodded. “Okay.”

His voice was still quiet, but it was stronger than it had been. The voice of a king accepting the responsibility of his life.

“Besides,” Janner lightly hit Kalmar’s arm. “You need someone to keep an eye on you for a while. You’re only eleven.”

The smallest smile grew on Kal’s face. “And you need someone to beat you in zibzy and keep your from sitting around reading all day.”

At that, Janner couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Maybe I’ll stand a chance now that you aren’t a wolf.”

“In your dreams.” Kalmar said, joining in the laughter.

The rest of the night was filled with reminiscing and dreaming of possibilities, until both of them fell asleep, imagining a future without the threat of Gnag or Fangs.

And a future they had. The Jewels of Anniera grew, married, and had children of their own. Thorn of course, married Leeli, and Janner’s heart only ever belonged to Sara. And Kalmar found a queen that rivaled even Nia in strength and courage. The stories of their childhood were told near and far, becoming legends that children from all corners of the world listened to with rapt attention. And under King Kalmar’s rule, all of Aerwiar prospered, and Aneira once again became the place of beauty and love that it had once been.

[metacrisisdoctor]

Analgesic Effects

rose helps the doctor with his migraines. this was written for the @tentoorosemicrofics and i used the prompts “edge” and “worry” 🤭

 rated e. 2.9k. pwp. canon compliant.

READ ON AO3

If Rose's heart is beating a little faster than usual no one has to know. She isn't sure exactly why she's so nervous considering the amount of sex she and the Doctor had had in the past ten months, but her fingers tremble a bit as she pulls her hair into a messy bun, rearranging the poof a few times until it looks right. High and centered at the top of her head, with a few strands hanging loose to frame her face.

She takes a deep breath and looks at herself fully, tugging a bit on the top of her scrubs here and there before turning to the side and checking the back. The point really isn't to look sexy she reminds herself. The point is to look like a massage therapist. A proper one. Besides, she knows the Doctor finds her sexy no matter what she wears.

With that in mind, she applies a bit of chap stick and begins to make her way to their adjoining bedroom.

A smile creeps up her face.

Sometimes she still can't believe it when she sees it. The Doctor, here, in her bed.

Waiting for her.

He doesn't even know what he's waiting for, he had just trusted her when she told him to get naked, which endears him to her even more. She didn't think it was possible to love him more than she already had, but he proves her wrong every single day.

"I said get naked, you know."

Her tone is light, obviously teasing. In the dim light of their bedroom, her eyes wander over his slim frame. There were times, many many times, - sometimes inappropriate times - that she wanted this so badly that it felt as if it might consume her, eat her alive.

Of course, back then, she was aware they were under a blackhole or some other awful wonderfully exciting danger, but there was always that little part of her that just wanted him. She'd ignore it as best she could until she could be alone with her imagination and her fingers then. This is a whole other game. She can't help but lick her lips in anticipation.

Now she wanted and knows she is wanted just as much, sometimes more. She'd always known, but it was a different kind of knowledge now. Having had his tongue on her, his cock buried inside of her.

God, his cock. Just the thought of it made her mouth water.

"I am naked," The Doctor says, holding a melting ice pack to his temple. His face is still pinched with pain. Obviously the paracetamol she had convinced him to take earlier hadn't done much to help his migraine.

She had always hated seeing him in pain, but it was rarer before. Usually it was emotional pain. These blinding headaches are something new. He hates them for reasons most people do. But she knows he hates feeling weak, hates feeling too human. He hates how they make him a bit crabby at UNIT sometimes, especially with her mum.

It was a while before he had accepted that he could be weak with her sometimes, that he was allowed to seek comfort in her and with her.

Rose tsks, "You're in your boxers. That's not naked."

He cracks open an eye then, looking at her in amusement. "Semantics. What are you wearing?"

"Oh, this? I've had them for ages," she fibs, waving her hand in the air. "Did you know I'm a certified massage therapist?"

The corner of his mouth quirks upward, catching on. "Is that right?"

"Mhm," Rose murmurs, walking over to their bedside table and leaning down to grab her lotion. She smothers a smile at the way she could feel his eyes on her, his gaze heavy on her backside.

It's a "girly" lotion, some lilac or lavender scented thing Pete had bought her a few Christmases ago when he didn't know her well enough yet to know what to buy her, but it is nice. And expensive. Other blokes might squirmed away at the idea of having something like that put on them, but the Doctor isn't any other bloke.

In fact, he's already turning to lay on his stomach when Rose looks up.

"Tell me if anything doesn't feel good, yeah?"

He nods, a soft and trusting smile on his face that made her heart grow warm.

She may not have actually been trained in massage therapy, but she knows enough about the human body - partly in due to the Doctor's constant ramblings about them - to put that knowledge to some use. The bed dips as she climbs on, straddling him from behind, careful not to put too much of her weight on him. She leans forward and presses a soft kiss to his shoulder then sits up, uncapping the bottle and squeezing a generous amount onto her palm. After a few moments, she feels him begin to relax while she carefully digs her fingers and palms into his tense muscles, undoing the knots that he carried for who knows how long as best as she can.

Fifteen minutes later his breathing his so even that she wonders if he has actually fallen asleep. The idea makes her feel an odd combination of relief, pride and just a touch of disappointment. He actually needs sleep now. Not as much as she does, which he often boasts about, but he does need it. That does not mean he always gets it, which doesn't help his headaches at all, a fact that she often pointed out when she's dragging him out of his lab at close to midnight sometimes. Sleeping is a good thing, but she had hoped that would happen after the second part of the massage.

The fun part.

Her hands and wrists were a tad sore, though. Giving a massage was more work than she had expected it to be. She lets her hands glide down his back, running the blunt edges of her finger nails down his smooth skin until she hears him sigh.

"I thought you fell asleep," Rose keeps her voice low, her hand moving up to card through his mussed hair softly. Simply because she can.  

The Doctor shakes his head, reaching behind him blindly until he finds Rose's hand and pulls it up to his lips. "Nah, not sleepy."

Of course not, Rose thinks but keeps to herself. Truthfully, she's glad. Very glad.

"D'ya wanna turn around so I can do the front?" It wasn't meant as a double entendre, but-, actually yes it was. But only if that was what he wants. Rose gnaws at her bottom lip, feeling him hesitate.

"Erm. Well,-"

Oh, no. Her eyes go wide, imagining she fucked up and pinched a nerve. "Did I do it wrong?"

"Absolutely not. You were brilliant, fantastic even. You always are. It's just. Well, you see- actually, it worked a bit too well. I'm a bit..." Rose can't help it, her free hand coming up to cover her mouth while he beat around the bush. Her body shaking until her ribs hurt with her efforts to keep quiet. "Are you laughing at me, Rose Tyler?"

"No!" Rose laughs, wiping a tear from her cheek. "It's just, if you have a boner you can just say that, Doctor. It's nothing to be embarrassed about."

He huffs in response as she slides off of him and he begins to turn onto his back, "Alright, my feeble and pathetic human body has betrayed me once again. I have no control over any of my senses. Happy?"

"Stop being such a baby."

His lower lip shoots out at that, pouting up at her ridiculously.

The smile wavers on her face, her throat going dry when she sees the tent he's pitching in his boxers. It's almost more erotic than if he were fully naked somehow, the spot of precome that spread where the tip is straining against the cotton begging to be given attention makes her head spin. Unable to stop herself, she kisses him. Softly at first, then longer and slower, until his mouth falls open for her. He pulls her closer until she's laying half on top of him, one of his hands cradling the back of her head and the other moving up to cup her breast over the loose fabric of the scrubs. She shivers when his thumb circles her pebbled nipple, deepening the kiss further until they both moan.

The kiss breaks only when she wraps her hand around his still clothed cock and gives it a firm squeeze. The Doctor's head fall back against the pillows, the pain replaces with pleasure. She props herself onto an elbow to watch. His fingers trace mindless patterns at the nape of her neck while Rose watches his eyes close. It's serene.

She leans down and tugs on that plump lip she loves so much, then moves her lips lower. She kisses his jaw, then drags her open mouth down his neck, the slight stubble there burning her flesh in the best way. The angle becomes a bit awkward so she shifts again, moving onto her knees to straddle him again, letting go of his erection to rub herself against it. She moans into his skin as her throbbing clit brushes against him through the layers between them. The small amount of friction is enough to make her feel frayed at the edges.

The Doctor feels it too. She can tell by the way his hands move to her hips and press her down further until she was grinding herself against him, her lips wrapped around his Adam's apple. Fuck, she's so wet. But this isn't about her. Not this time. She had been nervous earlier. Because as much sex as they have already had, it still isn't everyday that the Doctor lets himself be taken care of. He's usually the one with his head between her legs, he's usually the one kissing down her body and touching her. Exploring and taking his time. She doesn't mind this, of course not. She loves it. But she wants to make him feel good too.

Relationships are about balance.

She also wants to see him lose control.

Rose lifts her head, "Does your head still hurt?"

"Not really thinking about it." The Doctor grits out, his hands wandering up her shirt to cup her tits. Rose's eyes fall closed, a whimper escaping her mouth as he rubs and tweaks her nipples in a way she had dreamt of so many times during their travels.

"Doctor."

He sighs, "A bit, yes. But I'm feeling much better."

He opens his eyes and wiggles his brows at her, his eyes glassy with desire. Still, it isn't the answer she was looking for. It isn't, but it is. She rolls her eyes fondly then reaches under the pillow, pulling out a black silk eye cover. She looks at him expectantly until he lifts his head so she can slip it on. It's no small matter, considering how sensitive he is about losing control of his body. Not that she has any wild plans, it really is just to block out the remaining light from the room, which she knows he understood. It didn't change the fact that he was opening himself to her in ways that she had never imagined he would.

(For some reason, she fought the urge to say good boy. A thought she files away for later.)

"For the record," Rose starts, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "I love your body."

Understatement of the century.

He doesn't respond, just swallows thickly. Another time, without someone else, she knew he'd be all winks and of course you do, look at me. No one else gets to see this side of him, no one else ever would. A feeling of possession arises in her. He is hers. Her Doctor. With that, she continues her journey, her lips now pressed into his collarbone. Her mouth opens to she can slide her tongue from one end, to the jut, then all the way to the other end. Her palm spreads on his chest, scraping her fingers through the smattering of hair there as her mouth moves lower and lower until she can feel his heart racing against her lips.

Her knees slide down the mattress, crawling down so she can kiss down his quivering stomach.

She can hear his heavy breathing when she reaches the elastic of his underwear, her own heart thundering in her ears. She nudges him to spread open his legs so she can get between them. How quickly he obeyed makes her womb clench. Moments later, his cock springs free when she pulls the plaid obstruction half way down his thighs. It takes all her strength not to pull him into her mouth right away. Instead, she wraps her hand around the base. Her thumb rubbing there softly.

Gorgeous, she thinks. Or maybe she said aloud, because he reacts. A small reaction, just a small laugh of... not disbelief. But uncertainty perhaps.

"What?" Rose asks, looking up at him with a furrowed brow. She watches him think, undoubtedly considering whether or not he wants to say.

"You don't think I'm too skinny?" He asks after a moment.

Her head rears back in surprise. Of all the things he could be self conscious about, that did not occur to her. Well, nothing had actually occurred to her. She thinks he's perfect, as if the universe had cut him from her dreams and placed him in her arms. But of course, there were things she had held back as well. Understanding sinks in as her mind wanders back to her telling him he wanted him to change back, to her not answering how he looked or telling him what she thought. She thinks of Mum constantly telling him to eat a bloody sandwich.

She shakes her head despite the fact that he can't see her, "I think you're the most beautiful man I've ever seen. I thought it then, and I think it now."

Every word is true.

There isn't an inch of him that didn't, that still doesn't, leave her wanting. She loves the sharp edges of his bones and the lean muscle that covers them. She loves how he was just a bit taller than her, but not so tall that it's uncomfortable. She loves his freckles and his asymmetrical face. His hair, of course.

He opens his mouth to respond, but whatever he was going to say was lost when he places the flat of her tongue against him and runs it up the part she has grown to love the most. His gasp is music to her ears, urging her on when she reaches the tip. Gently, she pulls his foreskin back and licks the glistening slit before swirling her tongue around the entire head. The Doctor breathes her name, shaky and needy. He's hard as steel when she takes him into her mouth, moaning around him.

Through the fog of her own desire, she looks up at him as she begins to suck in earnest.

It's a glorious view, better than any planet he could ever show her, she thinks. It's a form of worship, though he is no god. Not to her. Yet it feels holy to run her tongue over every ridge and vein that wraps around his length.

He lifts an unsteady hand and shoves the eye cover up, needing to see her. The bun she worked so hard to perfect comes undone, her hair falling down her back and covering her face. Tender fingers reach down and gather the blonde strands, holding them in place and guiding her movements all at once as he props himself on his elbow into a half sitting position. She can tell he's close by how he's thrusting into her mouth, any and all finesse slipping from his movements. It isn't long until she felt him begin to writhe, his breathing growing more erratic by the second. Her hand strokes as her head moves up and down, her lips slick. The room is quiet aside from the wet, sloppy sounds they're making and the distant noise of traffic outside their window.

There is a soft pop sound when she pulls away, followed by a whimper that she'll cherish until the end of her days. She's stopped a few times now, every time he gets close. She takes a moment to catch her breath, smirking at how his hips raise on their own accord, chasing her warmth. She runs her free hand up his thigh. "I want you to come in my mouth. Do you want that too?"

His jaw clenches, his body answering for him.

She takes in the way he's trembling, reduced to pure carnal need because of her. For her. It's almost enough to want to make her stop and fuck the orgasm out of him, but she wants this more. Keeping her eyes locked with his, she gives him a few shallow pulls, then swallows him whole and redoubles her efforts, pulling every trick she knows to drive him to the brink until he falls back onto the bed. His hands lose their grip on her hair, too lost in pleasure to do anything but flounder them around until Rose grasps his wrists and holds them down, pinning them to his side tightly.

He chokes her name when he comes, his back arching and causing his ribs to poke out. His hips buck up, fucking her mouth, chest pink, heaving and sweaty as he spills down her throat. Her jaw aches, but she works him through it until his stiff body sags, his cock softening between her lips.

"You okay?" She asks, kissing his hip bone.

"Never better," His voice is lower than she's ever heard it, "but I'm worried you may get your license revoked."

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Helluva Boss Theory: Blitz's Exes Are Equal To Blame For The Break-Ups...Part 2

[Note of August 2, 2024: This Has Been Edited after noticing some mistakes that I didn't catch right away...also once more don't reblog this without my permission...]

[Note: Don't Reblog this without my permission. and I also want to say that I still loved the episode in Helluva Boss that has to do with the Apology Tour, but I'm still gonna be on Blitz's side but also hope that the misunderstanding between him and Stolas does work out even if they might end up with different people for a while before they do finally end up together. also if your fans of Helluva Boss, make sure to have watched all the episodes of the current Seasons before reading this. ]

not sure I will make this very long, but let's start this part 2 off with talking about Dennis...even if at first I might not of notice, but if you pause at the right moment when Blitz sends him away at Bee's Party...you can see the hurt and upset look on Dennis's face...

which I don't get why he would need to be upset about, well besides being hurt that Blitz not liking his name, that I can understand...

but Dennis needs to understand, that Blitz was freaking smashed, aka he was drunk, and it could be possible that only some people can still be fully aware and drunk, and Blitz might not of been fully aware but at the same time only half-aware what he was doing.

and it was a good thing Loona saw them and stop Blitz and Dennis from making-out anymore than they were...

I'm guessing the Imp Guy that came after Dennis left, was the "Alejandro"...

Dennis doesn't even know Blitz, and they only just met at the party...same goes for any of the other people who were possibly at both that party at Bee's and even the party that has to do with hating Blitz, and half of the people at that party were perhaps only half of his Exes while the other half were just friends and dates of those Exes.

plus Dennis was making-out with a emotionally hurt Blitz, who was trying to fill the void by drinking and making-out with every guy and gal and possibly nonbinary person at Bee's Party.

Blitz might of seem okay on the outside, but he wasn't on the inside, and he only let out that really sad part out once he and Loona got home.

even if both Blitz and Verosika are on better terms now, and are possibly frienemies now, while Blitz and Fizz are 100% friends again.

it doesn't mean that Verosika 100% understands Blitz, or why he pushes others away before they could hurt him...

if Loona said "I love you, Dad." she would probably be the only one that Blitz doesn't push away, because he does love her, which is a different kind of love from the ones that were like Fizz, Verosika and Stolas...

we do know it could be possible, that it isn't just Fizz, Ozzie and Verosika's fault for Blitz over doing it at Bee's Party and drinking so much as well as making-out with strangers who were possibly at that Anti-Blitzo party, and didn't understand they were making-out with someone who had his heart hurt at Ozze's.

both sides are equal to blame for the break-ups, but I don't think some of the people at that Anti-Blitzo Party, were even dating him.

and half of them were possibly just some people who got into their head that it was more than just a one-night/day make-out and there was more there, just like Dennis did...

Dennis wasn't even drunk, and he was making-out with a Drunk Blitz...

Stolas was possibly only a little drunk but also really sad as well, at least he met up with "Pretty Boy Who Thinks He's Better Than Blitzo."...(but he's not...)

both parties of course had alcohol, well possibly only the Hell version of alcohol, cause it could be likely that they wouldn't get drunk from the stuff that can effect humans.

it's good that Blitz wants to do better, and not hurt anymore people.

but he isn't the only one who hurt someone, because those people had possibly took advantage of the state he was in at Bee's Party, and Bee as well as Vortex probably couldn't tell how bad it was for him, even if Bee could tell from picking up on Blitz's feelings that he wasn't 100% okay but she didn't get too deep into what could be causing it, possibly to respect his privacy on what could be causing him to drink and make-out his feelings away.

Bee might of not known that Blitz got a bit too drunk at the party, and didn't know he was only half-aware of the people he was making-out with...and those people, even if it was only half of them and not all of them...were technically taking advantage of him.

it is possible when that Incubus Pretty Boy did end up speaking with Stolas, the said Prince ended up sobering up some and possibly became more aware when they danced together.

I still think that Blitz's Exes, and even ones who weren't really Exes like Dennis...are scapegoating Blitz, not everyone has to agree with me on that but it's pretty obvious that Blitz ain't the only one to blame.

for all we know, Blitz could end up in a Poly Relationship with Stolas and Verosika, like even if it might take some time for Stolas and Blitz to get back together and become more than they were before...

and well if Verosika is added in, it be like she is Blitz's Girlfriend, but is Stolas's Platonic-Girlfriend aka Girl-Buddy, and he would be Verosika's Platonic-Boyfriend aka Boy-Buddy and they are both the Boyfriend and Girlfriend of Blitz...

if Fizz was real, he would be the Perfect Platonic-Boyfriend aka Boy-Buddy I play video games with. XD

I mean yeah still have a small crush on him, but I think some of my feelings for him is also platonic as well, so I wouldn't mind being the Platonic-Girlfriend aka Girl-Buddy if he were real, and I'm still Gray-Aroace/Fictoromantic...

well the likely hood of Verosika and Blitz ending up back together might be very small, plus we all know she might end up with Wally.

Cherri is technically Angel's Platonic-Girlfriend, he does call her his Girl-Buddy...plus the whole "Platonic-Girlfriend/Boyfriend" would be way different than the other type which is still just called Boyfriend or Girlfriend...even if you could have your own romantic moments with your boyfriend and girlfriend that doesn't have to follow what some do that is viewed as normal...

and well you don't have to follow the same romantic way others do, you can just play video games together, watch a movie or even eat cake or pizza together, like it being a mix of platonic but still romantic.

Blitz's Dad, Cash Buckzo...is probably and possibly most obvious reason why Blitz has a hard time trusting others with his heart in a romantic level...(possibly being the reason why Blitz was scared of being rejected by Fizz)

Cash likely lied to Fizz, saying that Blitz was jealous of him when really he wasn't and Blitz had feelings for Fizz but was too scared to come out and tell him.

we don't know much about Blitz's Mother, or if she knew how Cash was treating Blitz...we just have to wait and see.

I do like the idea of viewing the Pilot-Tilla still being Blitz and Barbie's sister and being fully separate from Blitz's Mother.

we don't know if Blitz's Mother will still be called Tilla or not though.

even if Blitz might fully blame himself for what happen to Fizz, even if it was a accident. he wasn't the only one to blame.

plus I wouldn't be surprised if those fireworks that took part in both Fizz and Blitz getting hurt, was fireworks that belong to Barbie.

we only know so little about Blitz's past, but we might learn more later on.

Blitz did try to make his night with Stolas special, as he did put a lot of thought into it...but even that episode had some misunderstandings between those two, but we can only hope it does get better for both of them.

while I still like Stolas, but he needs to understand what he, Verosika, Fizz and Ozzie put Blitz through...

I mean Blitz has possibly forgave Fizz and Asmodeus on what happen at Ozzie's, and I guess after talking with Verosika, he did forgive her for that time at Ozzie's as well...

but Stolas, well that is another matter...

even if Stolas didn't mean for it to be misinterpret that way, he did make Blitz feel like he was ashamed to be with a Imp like him at a place like Ozzie's...

well if I was in Blitz's shoes, I would probably be hurt too...

I mean I'm a "purple blood" not fully "blue blood" I mean yeah I do have some royal ancestors, and well one of my ancestors are King David and King Solomon...

but if I did have a boyfriend that was fully royal and was brought up in some fancy mansion or castle or palace...and if we did go on a date to some fancy place, and he was teased about dating a "commoner" who unknown to the rest of the people in the fancy restaurant...actually has royal blood type heritage ( but not all my ancestors are royals, which I think it good. )

but if he hide his face with the menu like Stolas did, of course I'm going to assume he is ashamed to be with me...

Blitz possibly wanted to forget everything that happen at Ozzie's even how he misunderstood on the reasons why Stolas's was hiding his face with the menu.

and even if Stolas had no idea Blitz was also being held hostage by Crimson, and not just Fizz...he might not find out about that information until later on...even if Stolas still believed that Blitz and Striker were friends, but Stolas needs to face the fact that he isn't the only one that was a part of Blitz's life.

Loona is Blitz's daughter, and her well being had to come first, and Blitz had to make a choice between going to save Stolas himself or being there for his daughter, and the best choice he made was Loona.

and he did end up trusting Millie and Moxxie to go and save Stolas.

if Loona and Octavia did get closer, it could be possible they would form a bond like sisters and both come to understand that their Dads are only hurting each other by their misunderstandings and miscommunications with each other.

Blitz craving and rejecting love, might come from something that has to do with partly hating himself and believing he is unworthy of romantic love from any romantic-partner, and he wishes he had what Moxxie and Millie have.

it can also be possible that before Blitz and Stolas's affair, Blitz did have a Royal Ex who ended up hurting him pretty badly and made him believe that no royal could ever love a Imp romantically.

Stella's brother is a possible candidate...

okay now that I realize it, Stella's Brother Andrealphus does kind of sound like Pilot-Stolas...I think I should check the names of the voice actors for both Andrealphus and Original Stolas...

I'm not 100% sure if my theory about Blitz being the son of The King of Wrath himself will end up being canon, which would make Blitz a whole lot of a higher rank than Stolas, Andrealphus and Stella...

but it can still work in the fanon, even if it turns out not to be canon.

my new OTP is Cozy Glow x Button Mash from MLPFIM, the ship isn't canon and they might never meet but I don't care, I ship it.

sometime I will post a drawing that has to do with those two being ship together, but since it's also a Crossover drawing, it isn't 100% finished yet...I might finish it later though.

their ship name is "ButtonGlow" and even if the color of Button's mane, coat and eyes had changed later on in the future seasons, I decided to do the original colors.

also some things, are called "fanon" for a reason...which I ain't gonna get into right now when it involves something I found out about Button Mash...

I think it could be possible that the ship name of those two already is a thing, if some fans have already been shipping them...

in a Crossover Timeline in the Fanon Universe, Blitzo would likely try to adopt Cozy Glow...come on, you know he would if he got the chance...

just picture the look on Loona's face if Blitz came home with a talking filly with wings and Blitz calls the said pony "Loona's new baby sister"...

maybe the reason why Blitzo loved horse so much, is because they were the only ones who gave him love and attention while growing up in the circus, while his good for nothing Dad, Cash gave all his love and attention to Fizz as well as possibly Barbie...

we don't know what Blitz's Mom was like or if she even gave her son enough love and attention growing up, but we can make only guesses that it might of not of been enough or she may have pulled a Lilith and abandoned her kids to run off and away from the circus life, without thinking about taking her son, daughter and even Fizz with her.

even if Blitz loves his Mom very much, we don't know much about them, we can only make theories and wait until she makes a full appearance and see what she is like.

Blitz did mention before that he sees a therapist, so it could be possible he still sees them and talks with them about his feelings but probably doesn't get too deep into the really dark and traumatic type feelings, maybe only talking only about the small bits of bad stuff that went on in his life.

I wonder if the whole therapist will be brought up again, or if we will end up seeing Blitz at therapy and talking with his therapist.

Stolas and Blitz might not get back together right away, and they don't have to...there is no rush, they need time.

wonder if "Mr. Better Than Blitzo", is working for Stella...or her brother.

I wouldn't put it pass those two to find some guy to make Stolas forget Blitz...who might actually end up falling for Stolas, even if he was possibly paid by Stella and Andrealphus.

Blitz does have people that love him, even if Moxxie might try to deny it...but he does have Millie, Moxxie, Loona and Fizz.

we might not know the full story with Blitz, but we are learning as time goes on, we will learn a bit more when it is time.

and Blitz isn't 100% at fault for those Exes, with only half of them being Exes and the other half being just those that made-out with someone that was drinking too much of that Beezle-Juice stuff...

so technically even if Blitz did make-out with them, he did so in a not so great mindset, and we can assume that those who did make-out with him at Bee's Party and ended up at that Anti-Blitzo Party, weren't Exes and were in fact NOT drunk when they were making-out with a drunk Blitzo...

so half of the people at that Anti-Blitzo Party, like Dennis don't deserve 100% pity...maybe a 94% pity, but not any lower or higher than that...

but it wouldn't be a surprise if Verosika was the only True Ex-Girlfriend at that Anti-Blitzo Party, and Stolas not really being a Boyfriend, but could be in the future...

it could be possible that NONE of the other people at the Anti-Blitzo Party, were even his Ex-Boyfriends, Girlfriends or Partners...

like half of them could of been from Bee's Party, and while some were just one-night stands who misinterpret that they and Blitz were more than just a one-night stand...

Dennis being just like those one-night stands, well maybe only partly...even if both he and Blitz only kissed each other...

but Dennis wasn't even drunk when kissing Blitz, we don't know how drunk Blitz was, but it could of got a lot worse if Loona didn't listen to Bee and Vortex about what was going on with him and if she didn't go and check on him...

even Loona knew what was happening was wrong, even if Dennis seems like sweet and adorkable guy, he was kissing a emotionally hurt guy who got his own feelings hurt at Ozzie's and the one who hurt him the most, might of been Stolas.

Blitz does deserve to be loved, some fans do know this...

and some fans may already know that he isn't fully at fault and there is a reason he pushes others away when they get too close, like with Verosika...

Stolas will need to come to terms that it isn't always about him and Blitz, and there might be a reason why Blitz didn't return his text when he was in the hospital while recovering from what happen.

Loona is a part of Blitz's life, just as Octavia is a part of Stolas's.

Blitz and Loona are there for each other, even if they might not have a 100% perfect father-daughter relationship at times, it does seem to be good between them.

Blitz and Stolas might become more, like become boyfriends in the future, but they need time...and if that means Stolas dating someone else for right now, then I guess that is how it needs to be until those two get back together.

I do wonder if Bee and Vortex, might end up breaking-up over the whole Bee finding out about the whole Anti-Blitzo Party, and half of the people at that party were the same ones who were making-out with Blitz who was giving off bad energy vibes at Bee's Party...

even if Loona still has a small crush on Vortex, even she might feel that crossed a line and would be on both her Dad and Bee's side.

I'm not sure if Bee will ever find out about that party, but I don't think she would be cool with it...there might be a reason why Bee might not be picking up on Loona's energy, or if she did, maybe she ignores it or Loona hides it very well...

but if Bee can't fully like at all pick up on Loona's energy, it might be because she really isn't able to, maybe because of reasons we don't fully know...but if I remember right, Bee did mention about Loona being "sour" so maybe she can still pick up a little from her feelings.

Verosika likely pulled the same thing that Stolas did, but the difference being that her and Blitz were dating and were boyfriend and girlfriend, but she likely made Blitz feel like well, the same way Stolas made him feel...that he needed to "please" his partners for them to stay with him...

and from the words that Verosika used at Ozzie's, there is probably more to the story than just what she told in that little song of hers. like possibly Blitz waking up to the truth that how things were between them weren't okay, and she might never truly love him, and if she did use the "L" word with him, like told him that she loved him...

he likely thought it was a big lie...but at least things between them have gotten a bit better and they might end up being friends.

it can be hard for some people to trust others fully with their hearts in a romantic way, and we only know only half of Blitz's story, but we will learn more later on...

but the heartbreak he caused he does feel remorse for, he wants to try to do better and not do that again. but he got his own heartbreak as well, and it is possible that Blitz may have realized at that Anti-Blitzo Party, that he is in fact in love with Stolas, like maybe he only partly realized it but hasn't fully done so...

I'm not going to view Dennis or even that Alejandro guy that Loona punched in the face, as victims...because of obvious reasons.

and I'm not going to view Stolas as 100% a victim either...

Stolas is the one that called Blitzo (when he, Millie and Moxxie were on a mission), and made the arrangement that had to do with their deal that happens once on a full moon.

he was the one that made it seem all about the "snu-snu", and yeah Blitz wasn't originally going to sleep with Stolas, but technically he did accidentally guilt trip Blitz who could of ignored him and just left with the book...but he didn't, he ended up staying far longer than he was suppose to.

and let's not forget the whole Loo-Loo Land events, even if it was suppose to be just a day with Stolas and Octavia, it was probably and partly a excuse to be around Blitz and flirt with him...and Stolas might of not even fully realized it.

even if Stolas did the right thing in the end, and went after Octavia and comfort her and even agreeing to leave Loo-Loo Land...

Blitz isn't the only one who needs to work on himself, and become better...

Stolas needs to do the same, and we can only hope that both he and Blitz try to talk it more out even if it might be a while.

we don't know the full story on all of Blitz's Exes, and some of those so called "Exes" are probably not really Exes, since half of them were probably at Bee's Party over at the Gluttony Ring, and were probably not even drunk at all when they were kissing a vulnerable Blitz.

still not going to feel fully sorry for Dennis or that Alejandro guy...

Blitz was probably not even half-drunk but was probably close to being fully drunk when he was making-out with Dennis and half the people at the party, and that guy who knew Blitz and is possibly the adoptive father of that hellhound that was flirting with Loona.

he didn't really do anything to stop or protect Blitz when he was making out with almost everyone at that party...he just watched.

Loona had to go and find as well as witness what was going on between Blitz and Dennis, to see that what was happening was NOT okay, and what Dennis and what that Alejandro Imp was doing or tried to do with Blitz, was NOT okay, not in the state Blitz was in...

she did the right thing in stopping what was going on between her Dad and Dennis.

Blitz might be use to being blamed and showed fake-love by his father and even his possible Royal Ex-Boyfriend that was before Stolas.

the word "love" used in a romantic way, likely holds some form of trigger of trauma for Blitz, which likely shows at Ozzie when Moxxie starts his song for Millie.

Blitz may have no problem saying he loves his daughter, and would protect her from danger and making sure she goes to Sloth to see a Doctor...but he might be fragile when it comes to certain loves, like he is fine admiring the love between Millie and Moxxie, but when it comes to his own love life, it is a different story all together.

Barbie hating Blitz, might have a reason that we might not learn right away but could in a future episode...but in theory, it could be possible she was responsible for the fireworks that ended up causing Fizz not to leave that circus tent on time, and causing both Fizz and Blitz to get hurt...so yeah Blitz and that other Imp may have started the fire by accident, that ended up hurting both Blitz and Fizz, with Fizz taking the most damage physically and emotionally.

but Barbie might be even more link to it, but she keeps it a secret...and possibly doesn't view herself as being partly to blame for what happen.

she was likely going to use those fireworks, and maybe she was going to sell them to make some money, but she place them in a spot where Fizz would end up becoming too close to during the fire, and causing them to go off and ended up causing harm to him.

Fizz wouldn't of got so badly hurt and would of made it out on time, if it weren't for those fireworks, that I believe Barbie had played a part in...which might be hinted if we think about her first physical appearance and the whole firework incident with Jimmy.

one of the reasons why Barbie is so mad at Blitz, might have to do with the fireworks, because they went off too early and she was going to sell them behind her family and the rest of the circus's back.

Blitz ends up taking the full blame for what Barbie did to Fizz, even if Blitz is still at fault for the fire, well partly, while the other one is Wally...well the Imp that might possibly be Wally...

the one who might be fully responsible for Fizz getting hurt, when he could of made it out unhurt, could be Barbie's fault.

and the episode where she fully appears in, might hint to this, I'm not 100% sure if I'm right or not, but those fireworks in that episode and the ones in the flashback that shows how Fizz got hurt...

might actually hint that it was Barbie's fault that Fizz didn't make it out on time and is the reason he got so badly hurt...

and even if Blitz does still love Barbie, those feelings might change once he learns the truth, that he is only half to blame for what happen to Fizz, and he wouldn't of gotten so badly hurt if it wasn't for Barbie carelessly placing fireworks in a place where Fizz could accidentally cause them to go off when he was trying to escape the fire.

so it would mean that both Blitz and Fizz got hurt because of Barbie, and if that is true then maybe it will be revealed in the future.

Blitz might end up getting really mad at Barbie for making him feel like he was the only one who hurt Fizz during that time, when really, he wouldn't of gotten hurt and would of escape unharmed if it weren't for her.

and he has every right to be mad at her, if the theory is true, both himself and Fizz wouldn't of ended up getting hurt if it wasn't for her recklessness with the fireworks.

and it isn't like Cash did anything to stop her or keep a better eye on her to make sure she didn't place those fireworks where others could end up being hurt by them...I didn't think about the link between the fireworks in that episode where Barbie appeared in before and the fireworks that appear in the flashback that played a part in Fizz getting hurt...

but it just makes sense to me now, and probably to other fans when you think about it, even if not all fans have to agree about it.

but it might really be hinted that Barbie was responsible for Fizz getting hurt so badly, which wouldn't of happen if she didn't place fireworks in a spot where Fizz was trying to escape.

the fireworks thing, might be only half the reason Barbie never wanted to see Blitz again, and even if we do find that out later on, I'm still going to view that she was the reason Fizz and Blitz got hurt by those fireworks...

Blitz didn't just get heartbreak romantically, but also in the platonic way as well.

he should try not to worry about romance or even Stolas or his possible new boyfriend right now, he should just be around those who love him and will be there to comfort him, like Fizz, Loona, Moxxie and Millie.

he just needs time to heal and he needs to fully realize that he isn't the only one at fault for what happen between himself and his Exes, with only half of them actually being Exes and the others being like Dennis and Alejandro...those two weren't even Blitz's Boyfriends or even Ex-Boyfriends...so I'm not going to fully feel sorry for Dennis, who was kissing a emotionally hurt and vulnerable Blitz...

even if those Exes and those who aren't truly Exes at all, might think they are fully the victims of Blitz, they aren't...and I'm not going to feel sorry for all of them, not the ones who don't deserve it and use Blitz as the scapegoat for how things ended between them and him.

half of them took kissing advantage of him obviously, I mean he was drunk, and probably not like only a little drunk or half-drunk, but he was possibly fully drunk and those who were kissing him, weren't drunk at all...so Dennis has no room to talk about he is the full victim of getting his heart broken by Blitz.

I guess I didn't really think about it before until now, but if it is true then Blitz might really be the victim who was in a very vulnerable state.

and the people at Bee's Party, had ignored it and the reason why Blitz was drinking those feelings away as well as making-out with strangers, is because of what happen at Ozzie's and what those at Ozzie's made him feel, and Stolas being part of the reason why Blitz felt so bad and felt the need to drink and kiss strangers, even if it was his drunk self that ended up doing so...it was being led by pure sadness, as he felt the need to try to drown his sorrows and forget how much it hurts.

Blitzo, Angel and Adam might have a bit in common, all three of them try to escape through both food, drinks and you know what Angel uses...

Adam likely ate his feelings away, which he wouldn't of been the first...I mean before I lost so much weight because of that depression I had in 2015, where I didn't eat very much and well I know it was either 2016 or 2017 when I ended up getting that second depression, which I really didn't need...but it could be possible that Adam may have had depression, but hides it through well how he talks and treats others that aren't close to him.

still gonna view him as a bit of a Tsundere.

it might be just me that is going to view him as a Tsundere...

is it weird I like him a bit more than Lilith...?

I mean I already suspect that she isn't as great as Charlie makes her out to be, and there could be more to the story that had tells of the past between Lucifer, Lilith, Adam and Eve then we know...

I don't really fully respect or view Gran-Gran Lilith from our universe as a full victim anymore, not after realizing she could of stop her and Adam's eldest children from being hurt by those Three Angels...

and there is that whole realizing she was pregnant when she left Adam when they had that fight, and she didn't give birth to demons but humans who were both her and Adam's children, and at some point in the future when one of Adam and Lilith's surviving daughters grew older and became a woman, she likely met and fell in love with Cain and their descendant met and fell in love with a descendant of Seth's...

and I guess I don't mind much of Gran-Gran Lilith's Counterparts, and yeah being possibly both her and Eve's Descendant Granddaughter, and being part of a "Evalith Bloodline"...still not going to fully respect her, or even Eve...maybe Eve gets a bit of a better respect but not anything past a 98 or 99%, for some good reasons...but even Eve messed up by not trying to help Cain before things got out of hand, and both Eve and Adam share the blame for that, and not stopping Abel from getting a ego and thinking what he was doing was "okay" and ended up not doing anything when Grandpa Cain was going to go through a very dangerous breaking point...

I'm still going to view that both Cain and Abel were at fault and they were both victims.

Blitz is both at fault and a victim as well, and even he can ended up reaching a very dangerous breaking point...

I don't know what else to say about my thoughts about how both he and his Exes and those who aren't even Exes like Dennis...

but there could be a lot to the story of why Blitz is the way he is, and we can only make out bits and pieces and can only make some guesses and come up with theories as to why the whole "love" thing is a very sensitive thing for him.

those people, like Dennis and even Stolas, they would need to work on themselves and become better too, not just Blitzo.

because Blitz isn't the only one who is at fault, he might share part of the blame but he is also a victim, and he might feel bad for hurting those that appeared at that Anti-Blitzo Party, but it could be possible that only half of them do deserve to be felt sorry for, while others like Dennis, do not...even if they might seem like it, but really they might not deserve to be felt sorry for or any form of pity at all.

and whether Verosika openly admits it fully or not, she might of taken the first few steps into admitting that she had hurt Blitz just as much as he hurt her...and they might still take baby steps in having things get more better between them...but it doesn't mean it will be same for all of Blitz's Exes or even those like Dennis...

and who knows, maybe Striker will become a "Good Guy" and end up helping Blitz and Stolas, maybe...

and yeah, I'm going to agree with others on the possibility that Striker could be Ace, but we wont fully know for sure or the type of Ace he is.

it's a big umbrella...and there are some Aces that do have "snu-snu" with their respective romantic partners, and most people would learn this from looking it up and learning those facts...

and I haven't really flux in well, maybe since either 2021 or 2022...

it might be because the times when I did feel that certain way before, it was because it wasn't truly my own half the time, and it was because I was picking up on the Toxic-Lust energy of others who were in a different room from me...you can still have the V-Card and still pick up those energies...

I keep my gem bracelets on a lot for a reason, a few multi-purposes reasons...of course I have to use dream-catchers as well, because it turns out it isn't just the Incubus that scared me awake before that I have to worry about...I still think what scared me awake before, was a Incubus...and that happen way before those three close calls where I figured out I was dream-walking and was being lured by Toxic-Lust energy...I can maybe talk a bit more about it another time, and well it was just three close calls and lucky nothing happen, but it was only the two out of the close calls that were really scary for me.

so yeah even before starting to protect myself from certain energies and even protecting myself from another Incubus surprise, even if I didn't see the Incubus...but I know it was possibly one, cause the dang jerk scared me awake...I think I may have still been vulnerable...which is why the dream-catchers were needed.

to stop those dream-walking from happening, to stop that Toxic-Lust energy from getting through...if I'm going to "Dream-Walk" I rather it be to universes that are normally 100% fictional in this reality.

I'm not 100% sure if the whole dream-catchers thing will work for everyone, like for those who are Ace or not Ace at all who might of figured out they might be a type of Empath but weren't fully aware of it before but had figure it out later that the reason they ended up feeling that certain way at times, wasn't truly their own but was the energy they were picking up and it was mixing with their natural energies...

it could be possible some "Toxic-Lust energies" might of prevented me from figuring out I may have always been Ace, I'm not fully sure...

but I rather not go through that again really, it was maybe a bit of a nightmare...I mean those three close calls I had before were nightmares as well...

but it didn't really feel good at all...like when it became too much, like even if ya could try to ignore it and try to just sleep it off or maybe take your mind off with a movie or show or playing a video game or maybe read a book...I did hate it, I didn't like how it was starting to feel and it might of been before I started to use even more gem bracelets and well...I rather not go through the thing I'm not going to say again...because yeah, as embarrassing as it is...I had felt that way before, but I now know half of the time it wasn't fully mine, but the energies I was picking up in real life...and it might be part of the reason why I fell for the wrong guys, maybe both in real life and online...of course the guys I knew in real life and had crushes on had no interest in me or my feelings, and one of them was possibly the reason I had ended up over doing it before with the eating and ended up well...a bit overweight before, but like I said before I had lost a lot of weight when that depression happen in 2015...

and while I do snack at times, I think I do a bit better to not over do it now...at least I think I do...

I have no interest in trying to pursue any romantic partnerships currently, and while I still want to call dibs on Mammon's sorry excuse of a Apple Sugar Spice, because he needs to stop being a Apple Sugar Spice Honey Of Liquid Egg and stop amplifying humans own greed...but my wanting to call dibs on him, is not like the whole Millie saying that Moxxie's Apple Sugar Spice belongs to her...

but if I was allowed to and was able to, I would still want to slap Mammon...and I'm of course talking about the one from our universe...he freaking knows why probably why I want to slap him...and well my wanting to slap him, and calling dibs on him, is way different from my bad luck with the guys I had feelings for before, but it probably wasn't even 100% in love, probably like that crush that only feels like your "in love" when really your not...

Blitz might be right to be suspicious of the Mammon from the same universe as him though...but if the Mammon from Helluva Boss and the one from this universe were one in the same, I'm still calling dibs on his Apple Sugar Spice, because if it were possible and if I was allowed to and if it weren't just thoughts and feelings that might never happen...I would slap him...

once again, thinking and feeling like doing it, doesn't really mean you will...but I might still have the thoughts of wanting to slap him one...

anyway, I think that I can only go on with very little about Blitz and his Exes, and even those who aren't really Exes but are like Dennis.

and even if it wasn't really plan, maybe I will make a part 3 of this...

or maybe not, we will have to wait and see...

we might learn more about Blitz's past later on, and even if some people might of not liked that Apology Tour episode, I and others did enjoy it...even if it did have it's sad moments, but the episode was still good and had some interesting surprises, like with Mayberry and Martha...

anyway in a little bit, I will post another drawing up...and sorry if this theory isn't perfect, but I think I can only get so much ideas about well the whole Exes and Blitz thing, but I do believe that both sides are at fault, and Blitz needs to fully realize that he isn't the only "bad person" in what happen between him and his Exes...

maybe the sooner he realizes he isn't as terrible as others make him out to believe, like by both his Dad, Sister and half of his Exes...

maybe the better his heart and love for himself, can heal.

so long as he doesn't meet another guy like that Dennis, who I'm not going to view as being a true Ex or a full victim...maybe only a small bit of a victim because of his feelings were hurt, but he was kissing a emotional vulnerable Blitz...who was drunk, and I'm pretty sure Dennis was sober, so yeah...still not going to be fully on Dennis's side.

or even on the side of that Alejandro that Loona punched in the face, that guy deserved that punch...

[dolphin1812]

Cosette!

There's a strong implication that the Rue Plumet house is an opportunity for romance, both through earlier descriptions of the garden (the emphasis on youth, weddings, love, etc) and lines like this:

"The convent is a compression which must last the whole life, if it is to triumph over the human heart. On leaving the convent, Cosette could not have found anything sweeter or more dangerous than the house in the Rue Plumet. It was the commencement of solitude with the commencement of liberty, a closed garden, but a sharp, kind, rich, voluptuous, and odorous nature; there were the same dreams as in the convent, but glimpses could be caught of young men,—it was a grating, but it looked on the street."

Most obviously, the passage mentions that Cosette could see young men through the grating, but the language used to describe the garden ("voluptuous") feels quite sensual. Romance would also be the specific subject Jean Valjean and the nuns couldn't/wouldn't prepare her for; if the nuns ever had experience with that, they swore it off when they became nuns, and Jean Valjean has never experienced romance ("Jean Valjean had never loved anything [. . . . ] [He] had never been father, lover, husband, or friend" - LM 2.4.3). I think Hugo centers romance and relationships for young women in a way that's uncomfortable (even if it's unfortunately realistic in some ways, given that they were financially very important [the struggle of having enough money if unmarried as a woman] and risky because of social pressures [like Fantine being ostracized because she had a child without being married]). Part of the discomfort is also from the way these societal expectations of gender blend with Hugo's ideas, like his notion that Cosette is especially lost because she doesn't have a mother to guide her with the combined experience of being a "virgin" and a "wife." Still, it's true that romance would be difficult for Cosette because she doesn't have someone to easily communicate with on the subject. Jean Valjean is the only person she has right now, and it's not a topic he's very aware of. Rather than the framing here, then, it's a bit more sympathetic if we take it as another instance of the importance of a broad network of social support. Romance would not be as dangerous to Cosette if she had a variety of people to learn from, just as it would have been safer for Fantine if she had had people to fall back on after being abandoned or if people had advised her more directly in the first place about what to expect from a student-grisette romance.

The house is also mixed for Cosette in that it contains remnants of a cage. The convent is the true "compression," so she's free now that she's no longer there. Still, the psychological cage might remain; we don't know if she'll break free of it. The grating is part-cage as well, giving her more freedom than the convent but still constraining her. She can see the world now, but she's not fully in it, either.

Most importantly, Cosette is still a child! Hugo's speculating on her future here, but Cosette just wants to find interesting insects! Her love of searching for creatures feels like a return to the gamins, who do the same when playing; it's a shared trait that defines them as children, regardless of their different backgrounds. They're all still young, so they play.

Her love for her father is so sweet. I adore that she tries to fight against Jean Valjean's total lack of self-esteem by demanding that he treat himself better, or else she'll treat herself the same way:

""Father, I feel very cold in your room; why don't you have a carpet and a stove?"

"My dear child, there are so many persons more deserving than myself who have not even a roof to cover them."

"Then, why is there fire in my room and everything that I want?"

"Because you are a woman and a child."

"Nonsense! then men must be cold and hungry?""

Cosette knows that Valjean would never make her suffer, so if she makes herself live like him, she won't actually live badly. He'll just raise his own standard of living to make sure she's comfortable. Valjean's love for Cosette is one of his main defining traits, but she really loves him, too, and it's great to see that expressed!

I also love that their bond transcends societal expectations and is unique to them. In the passage above, for instance, Cosette questions gendered expectations over what men, women, and children should respectively tolerate, rejecting the idea that women and children should be prioritized over men. Part of it is certainly that she knows her father could be living more comfortably, but it's also because she loves him and doesn't want him to suffer needlessly based on any justification, whether it be others' poverty or gender. She sees Jean Valjean as both her father and mother as well, calling him "father" and imagining him like this:

"When she thought at night before she fell asleep, as she had no very clear idea of being Jean Valjean's daughter, she imagined that her mother's soul had passed into this good man, and had come to dwell near her. When he was sitting down she rested her cheek on his white hair, and silently dropped a tear, while saying to herself, "Perhaps this man is my mother!""

It's especially moving because Valjean sees himself in a similar way, feeling that he is her father because she needed one just as he needed a child, but also "[feeling] pangs like a mother" upon adopting her (LM 2.4.3). Fantine is ever-present in their relationship (and Cosette's dream was both beautiful and sad), but not entirely in an upsetting way. Valjean's feelings are unclear, and Cosette loves her mother, but in a vague way, since she doesn't remember her. But in a spiritual/religious way, Valjean and her mother's spirits have merged to her, preserving what she's heard about her mother's love and combining it with her lived experience of love. It's very sweet, and it makes sense that she would imagine her mother this way after such a religious upbringing.

Unfortunately, the metaphorical prison of the convent and the cage of the grating aren't the only dark shadow in this chapter. The last line is a bit ominous. For context, here it is in English and in French:

"The poor wretch, inundated with an angelic joy, trembled; he assured himself with transport that this would last his whole life; he said to himself that he had not really suffered enough to deserve such radiant happiness, and he thanked God in the depths of his soul for having allowed him—the wretched—to be thus loved by this innocent being."

"Le pauvre homme tressaillait inondé d'une joie angélique; il s'affirmait avec transport que cela durerait toute la vie; il se disait qu'il n'avait vraiment pas assez souffert pour mériter un si radieux bonheur, et il remerciait Dieu, dans les profondeurs de son âme, d'avoir permis qu'il fût ainsi aimé, lui misérable, par cet être innocent."

Jean Valjean is still a "misérable," and he defines his worth through suffering. He's happy with Cosette, which is wonderful! But he also thinks he doesn't deserve her, even if she clearly thinks otherwise. His joy, then, is in constant tension with his status as a misérable, and while Cosette tries to help - she's making him live decently! - she also doesn't know why he has this mindset. Jean Valjean has love, but he still carries the logic of the prison system with him, and by that logic, he will never "deserve" happiness.