#healthy? no. effective? yes.
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@ellionwrites
I just had the MOST diabolical thought for an Itafushi AU that immediately made me cry thinking about it.
Despite everything I need to do today AND all the other unfinished fics I have, I wanna drop it all to write this.
If this post gets even 1 note I'm doing it
#ellion I'm counting on you to enable me here#i won't write it for myself#but if even a single person expresses interest I can do it#i know how to trick my brain into doing things#i don't so much hold myself accountable as I pretend others are holding me accountable for imaginary things#healthy? no. effective? yes.#it's why Summer of Blue both is and is not being working on sporadically#anyways think about it: Orpheus and Eurydice Itafushi AU#Yuuji has to retrieve Megumi's soul#cry with me about it#itafushi#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro
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SAID HE LIKES CRAZY GIRLS,
BUT HE HATES WHEN I ACT CRAZY,
IT TAKES TWO TO TOXIC!
FINALLY!!! Finished these pics of jinx I’ve been working on!!!!! HOLY SHIT, these took so long…. But finally… they’re done… pls enjoy this art of my beautiful princess w a disorder. Featuring alternate colors for the big pic and also a closeup! Cuz I rlly like how both the lines and coloring on her face turned out… like the pink gradients w her eye… her deer in headlights expression,, like uve just startled a raccoon digging thru ur trashcan and r two seconds away from getting mauled.. m proud of it!
#arcane#league of legends#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#doodles#hate and love how hardcore I relate to jinx…#little sisters w dependency issues.. + a whole lot of other issues#anyway the ‘he’ in the ‘crazy girl’ lyrics is in my mind referring to both vi and silco lol#I’m sORRY! I keep seeing ppl hardcore pitting these 2 bad bitches against each other#and it’s like… silco is objectively. morally worse than vi.. vi is not like. a ruthless crime lord#vi IS 100% trying her best and loves her sister. but she still screwed up w jinx#and silco ALSO truly loves jinx. but also screwed up by fucking. trauma bonding w her ghgh-#like.. silco is too close. he’s like. yes go apeshit jinx I support and love you and understand u no matter what fucked up shit u do.#were the same. and that’s beautiful!!! I love how supportive he is…#but its like.. silcos too close. he just became a new person for jinx to glomp onto and base her self esteem around after vi left#and he doesn’t manipulate that on purpose but. he DOES effect that girls mental state. cuz he needs her too#meanwhile vi is too far away… she thinks she knows who jinx is. but jinx has changed… time marches forward. she’s not that little girl#anymore#and nOW! after the finale jinx has NOBODY TO BE CODEPENDENT W..#her mental state has always been so tied up in how the ppl she puts on pedestals view her#and now there’s no pedestal anymore. she knocked down the statues. she’s alone…#it’s interesting….#anyway I’m not trying to say vi is as bad as silco at ALL. just that she’s an equally important building block in jinx’s mind#that has made her into the fucked up lil person she is today. and I think that’s neat.#lol anyway! I’m hyped for season 2….#aLSO GOD DAMN THIS GIRLS OUTFIT IS COMPLICATED. WHY DO U GOT SO MANY BITS N BOBS JINX??? I mean I get it accessories rock.#but u take so much time to draw ghfhg- require so much brainpower#aLSO ADDENDUM. while silco is objectively morally worse than vi his relationship w jinx is genuinely. like. makes me emotional ghgh-#its not perfect. or healthy. but… it’s. the both of them. being seen. and accepted. and loved and understood.. and I love that shit.
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Thank you @freckledjoes
#this gif is really effecting me in a way that cannot be healthy.#about to change my relationship status#yes emperor#praise be#on my hands and knees#joseph quinn
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Is Lazarus pit overdose a thing? If it’s not, I think it should be. there’s the whole trace of Lazarus thing, implying it somewhat sticks around the body in at least some stories/games/etc (whether it’s considered canon or not idk but there’s potential either way)
Anyway, what I’m getting at is Jason has been exposed to it at least 3 times (the original pit, the 2 times it was injected to bring him back..) if not more
SO IM JUST SAYING.. at what point does Jason start experiencing negative side affects from his repeated exposure to the supernatural toxic green immortal juice??
#yes im aware these exposures happened in different comics and may or may not be connected to eachother#BUT SEE MY VISION#THE FICS THE ART THE GENERAL ANGST#I suppose it’s ‘healthy’ as it heals you but also I can’t imagine it’s actually good to be having that much of it in you??#Jason’s bones start glowing whenever they get broken glow stick style#‘oh dw that’s just them healing :)��#fivesays#jason todd#red hood#lazarus pit#Lazarus pit effects
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the thing is this is awful timing to get into a new show because i am teetering on the edge of incredibly busy (or rather, i ought to have begun being very busy last week and... i did not. the amount of tabs ive got open right now of things to do. scary. impossible to look at.)
on the other hand, becoming hyperfixated on a new thing to spend all my time meticulously documenting that is neither my masters course that's just started nor the job ive currently got for the near future that is quite tricky nor the job hunt im meant to be on to get a more longterm job nor indeed any of the social hobbies i've semi-committed myself to....
well, that is just very me actually......
#the world is big and scary and i am. a very small bug.#with as it turns out a whole extra bunch of disability ive gotta commit to figuring out.#but what can ya do when you can't focus on all of these elements at once?#focus on none of them i guess. so yes there is a gnawing anxiety in the back of it all but hopefully#as of next week i'll be in the swing of things and able to balance it better. once some of the imposter syndrome becomes more tolerable#i genuinely think. if it weren't for money. i would be 60% more healthy. at least.#not in the physical + mental capacity i have#but in that i can Use the amount i have more effectively and usefully and also take more breaks/set more boundaries#+ i wouldnt be as anxious#it really does just come down to that single thing. idk this can't be the most useful system of society it just cant.#me#personal
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silly comic of them
they deserve something not plot related lol
#my art#krokstar au#pre war college au#does krk need to keep his claws healthy? Yes#did star actually use this as an excuse so they could hold hands casually? (despite the fact they’re in the dorm and lay on each other#all the time?) Also yes#Have y’all ever had to file your nails on a rock? Shit sucks#but I didn’t have a file while camping and my nail cracked#you can also use your jeans tbh#but that’s not as immediately effective
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ayyyyyyy I set up an appointment for medication this Friday (telemedicine but whatever) and I get to see my former therapist again later this month. I’m kind of excited. More than kind of. Little sad, but I’m lonely and want to talk to someone. He’s a real cool dude. I’m a little worried to trauma dump the last 6 months on him, but whatever, it beats sitting there for an hour feeling like I’m wasting his time and struggling to think of things to say. dang dang dang, I’m excited.
#I’m excited to tell him about my mom’s transplant. less so to mention all my dark moments since we last spoke.#ok so I gotta wait a week for antidepressants and then a couple of weeks for them to take effect#that’s a lot of waiting#especially with how rough I’ve been these last couple of weeks#I probably have more appointments I should schedule but we’ll see#I’ve only been able to sleep sitting up#like the dang elephantman#something about laying down freaks me out#it’s uncomfortable and not very restful and just thinking about sleep gives me anxiety#brains are fucky#oof… now it’s setting in. I’ve got an appointment but it’s 5 days away#5 days of… this. anxiety and distraction and my sick brain#this is my fault#well… no. yes. I don’t want to COMPLETELY beat myself up for it#I should have been managing my mental health better instead of waiting until I spiraled out#I should have been managing my health better in general!#this isn’t sexy to say but I hate my body. I’ve run it down. and it’s going to be so much harder getting back to something semi healthy#but I’m trying now 😕 so maybe that’ll count for something#I’ve been realizing that I really really miss going to the gym late at night#that’s what I need now. been doing these little drives at night to distract myself but having an actual place to go would be much better#BUT! too expensive. need to work and make some money. not excited for that but I needs it. I neeeeeeds money. for burgers. and distractions#this is too rambly. I’m sorry. I thought about counseling and got too excited to talk and talk#I talk too much#you can ignore this#text
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pale solrezi.......
#libra.txt#was gonna make a post abt how hs + quadrants are great for multishippers like me#and also that hs is probably a big influence on me being a multishipper#but pale solrezi overwhelmed me#man that equius fic was really good........... meowrails my beloved#also equius pov that's well written and thoughtful??? flowers for one thousand years#pale kankat....... pale solrezi....... pale erijade......... many thoughts and feelings#also imagine a healthy pitch erivris. they were lowkey good for each other once upon a time!!!#i understand why so many characters died. it is a nightmare juggling so many characters#but also man all that potential..........#so big kudos to mc escher for letting them all live and also using them all effectively#they all had screentime! they all were important in some way or another to the plot!#beta kids! alpha kids! beta trolls! dancestors! ancestors! parents! calliope!#ah... it was just really nice......#i mean yes having 600k+ words helps give room to fit them all (plus the 20+ sidefics)#which i also cannot help but admire and respect#one day....... one day i will have story ideas that will span many many words and resonate with people...... maybe........
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Fun part about a character having almost no canon stuff, or canonically having different selves across the multiverse, or even both, is just,, getting to say whatever tf you want about them
Anyways, there’s definitely a Diane out there with religious trauma from being raised in a cult-like environment (not even a cool one, she bemoans, a weird fucking one where they were convinced all pharmacists were witches and painkillers were their way of allowing demons to enter our bodies 🙄) who has. no fucking idea how to respond when Rick starts calling himself “god” (no early dying for her, she lives long enough to see his science really take off)
Her Rick stops saying the god stuff around her pretty quickly out of respect for her, but she still has that nagging anxiety that her religious trauma influenced the type of guy she chose
#does this count as a Rick and Morty oc?#I wanted to wait to talk about this version of Diane till I at least *tried* to draw her#but. I have had no motivation to draw for awhile now.#so getting this out before I move on from Rick and Morty and probably back to like. ST or DP or something.#rick and morty#Diane Sanchez#once again mad that we don’t have a maiden name for her#Rick Sanchez#yes I used beliefs from the weird fucking church my family forced me to go to.#yes I’m still pissed about them holding a whole sermon on that and trying to force us to believe it before I had to go in for surgery#THAT THEY KNEW ABOUT#it was a small church#shaking with rage still#this Rick and Diane has a healthy relationship but the religious trauma does have its effect on their relationship
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Unfollow me if you’re unwilling to wear a mask to protect yourselves and others
#both of my still-living grandpas went to the hospital shortly after catching covid for the second time#the second one was yesterday and there aren’t any hospital beds for him because covid is putting so many people in the hospital#this is not normal#this is not what learning to live with covid should look like#covid-19#sars-cov-2#pandemic#my post#personal#original post#everyone keeps saying ‘oh well it doesn’t hospitalize or kill young healthy people’#1. yes it fucking does#2. elderly and disabled people’s lives matter and we should be protecting them#3. everyone ignores the long-term effects#long covid is super common and even if you don’t have symptoms every day it can cause heart attacks and weaken your immune system#and cause brain damage and all sorts of horrible shit#do not get covid#do not spread covid#the vaccine does not prevent transmission so it’s pretty useless#wear a fucking mask 🔪
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im convinced imaginary friends are a lie made up by the american media to sell more mental illness so. participate in my research
#OMG YES HAHAHAHA#penny from inspector gadget was my best friend#i made up so many new story lines for that dumb show#i plotted a whole inspector gadget movie in my head#with like music and special effects and everything#that would’ve made some good fanfiction#a shame i didnt write any of it down#i also just generally pretended my life was a tv show for most part of my childhood#everyone around me was playing a character#and every new school year was like a new season of the show#idk if this was very healthy but well
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What I Want You To Know About Long COVID
Well lads, I've been suffering from Long COVID for over a year now. My life is at a complete standstill. I'm 25 years old and I'm too sick to go back to school, I can't work, I had to move back in with my parents and I'm still stuck here.
Here are just a few things I wish people knew about Long COVID, including things I didn't know myself until I got it.
COVID destroys your immune system. Yes, even if you don't have Long COVID. Are you getting sick more often now? When you get sick, does it last longer? There are many studies showing that COVID causes t cell depletion, even in mild COVID cases! T cells are how your body remembers how to fight off infections you've had before so losing those cells? Bad news.
Your initial infection can be mild and you can still get Long COVID. Right from Yale Medicine, "Most people with Long COVID had mild acute COVID." (This is also a good link for a basic Long COVID overview).
There can be a gap of time between when you "get better" from the initial COVID infection to the onset of Long COVID symptoms. Some people get sick with an initial COVID infection and never get better. Some get better and then weeks or months later start developing Long COVID symptoms. Long COVID symptoms can even fluctuate over time, can go away for months and then suddenly come back.
So many people have Long COVID and don't realize it. Do you feel more tired lately but no matter how much you sleep, nothing helps? Is it harder to concentrate at work or school? Can you just not think like you used to? You could have Long COVID and not even know it. Even mild post-COVID symptoms are still Long COVID.
COVID can do anything to your body. Long COVID has over 200 recognized symptoms and can affect basically any part or system of your body. There is no one mechanism or cause of Long COVID which unfortunately also means there's no one cure either.
The effects of COVID are cumulative. Each COVID reinfection increases your chances of developing Long COVID. COVID is also affecting your body in other ways, yes, even if you're otherwise young and healthy! "Repeat COVID-19 infections increase risk of organ failure, death".
Once you have Long COVID, repeat COVID infections will make your symptoms worse. "80% [of Long COVID patients] saw their symptoms worsen [from reinfection]. In 60% of people who were in recovery or remission from Long COVID, reinfection caused a recurrence of Long COVID."
There is a lot more I want to say about Long COVID but I want to keep this post at least somewhat manageable to read. Like how when COVID is contracted during pregnancy, those COVID-exposed fetuses have a 6.3-fold increased risk of motor developmental delays, or that another study found 50% of babies exposed to COVID in utero had developmental delays.
You need to keep caring about COVID, for others around you and also for yourself even if you're "healthy". Everyone is at risk. And don't forget 40-60% of COVID infections are asymptomatic, which is why masking even if you feel fine is crucial. The only way right now to not get Long COVID is to not get COVID in the first place. It's not too late, if you've stopped masking it's never too late to start again! I know it's easy to get distracted by things in your life that seem more real than the possibility of getting sick some time in the future, and the peer pressure to not mask can be intense. But it only feels less real or less important until your entire life is having Long COVID. Trust me.
I know this is a complicated issue, many people can't afford to stay home when sick even if they want to because of their jobs, there are disgusting policies trying to ban wearing masks, but please if you can. Keep masking. Masking works, masking saves lives.
This post got a bit longer than I wanted so below the cut is a non-exhaustive list of my Long COVID symptoms and some of my experiences as one of the "healthy young people" who got "unlucky". cw brief mention of suicidal ideation.
Welcome to the Thunderdome that is my body with Long COVID. Keep in mind these are just my experiences and symptoms, Long COVID can cause any range of symptoms at varying severities.
Dysautonomia: Exercise intolerance, Post-Exertional Malaise (PEM), fatigue, and heat intolerance. What do those things mean? Here's some specific examples. Absolutely terrible circulation I am so cold all the time but also, if I get a little too warm I will pass out. Eating hot food makes my heart rate spike, I sweat, my body feels heavy. Blood pooling and pins and needles in my feet when I walk. Don't even think about exercising past walking, it's impossible. I used to work out an hour a day 4 times a week and now walking up one flight of stairs makes my heart pound and I can't breathe. Can't take even just warm showers anymore or I will pass out. Heat rashes from being in the sun for 10 minutes.
Digestive issues: Honestly too many to name but: constant bloating, extreme nausea, constipation, slow motility, lack of appetite, just so much cramping and pain. I lost 18 pounds from Long COVID, as someone who was already considered underweight their entire life, and almost had to get a shunt put into my chest to deliver nutrients because I was nearly completely unable to eat. For the first 6 months of Long COVID, if I could manage 600 calories a day, that was a good day.
Histamine intolerance: Oh boy. My worst symptoms, I don't even know where to start with it. If you know Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) it's very similar. I can only eat 19 foods. If i eat a single bite of something not on that list, it's 48 hours of absolute hell. Coughing, migraines, itchy eyes, such extreme nausea I cannot even describe it, panic/feeling of doom, racing heart rate, derealization, rash, uncontrollable muscle tremors. I only learned about histamine intolerance 5 months into having Long COVID so before that, I was experiencing these symptoms nearly every single day. Terrifying isn't even a strong enough word to describe how it felt to experience all this and have no idea what it was, how to stop it, or if it would ever stop. Really dark times.
Neurological issues: More of that derealization. Inability to concentrate. Anxiety. OCD-like symptoms such as thoughts getting "stuck" in my head, repeating 24/7 completely unable to stop them, genuinely felt like my brain had cracked open and I had lost my mind. Constant dizziness like I'm on a boat.
Sleep issues: I sleep like garbage. I have insomnia, I wake up dozens of times every night and every single time I sleep I have intensely vivid dreams. I can't sleep longer than 7 hours total no matter how exhausted I am. It is exhausting. I'm exhausted, I'm so so tired.
And finally. Just. Really intense suicidal ideation. My body, my health, my entire life has been stolen from me because someone else decided my life was worth less to them than wearing a mask or staying home if they feel sick. Before I got Long COVID, I was preparing to go to South Korea to teach English, then on to a PhD in neurolinguistics, I was supposed to meet my long distance partner and had already booked plane tickets when I got sick. All of that has been destroyed.
Most of us with Long COVID are stuck in a cycle of being extremely sick, then if you're lucky you'll slowly get better over months, just to get reinfected and go right back where you started or worse. Honestly, I'm not scared of dying from COVID. I'm scared of living for a long time, suffering from Long COVID the entire time. This isn't living.
I don't know how to end this now. I'm still fighting, I'm trying experimental treatments, I'm not giving up yet. I hope everyone reading this stays healthy and well.
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hi sweet peas! little life update in the tags :)
#soooo it's been like... three years?#i am a sophomore at umich! woot woot!#astrophysics major ;) its so fucking hard but i love it#finally finally finally going on medication for depression which is leading to what i'm doing back on this website#so my mental health has just been sharply declining for the past however many years#and i've lost so many of my interests my hobbies stuff like that#art being one of those#(back on tumblr for .3 minutes and instantly oversharing... ah yes#and i just am aiming to do two things with this#1. have social media that i have a healthy relationship with- ie not instagram#i like the layout of tumblr and just the freedom to post and reblog whatever ya feel!#2. start sharing art again and thus start making art again#which i hope will have a positive effect on my health and everything becauseeee i am at the end of my rope#obviously medication will be the main factor in any changes#but i know i desperately need some lifestyle changes independently of that as well#so yes! not to ramble much further or anything#but hopefully i will be sticking around this time#mwah
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Redesigning the Fentons!!
Hi yes this is for yet another Danny Phantom AU of mine it has nothing to do with the Apprenticeship AUs but unlike that batch I actually wanna turn this AU into a fic eventually once I get through a few other big projects I have *sobs*
Anyway individual files for each character under the cut along with my obligatory rambling about all the choices I made ;)
Jazz! Honestly, when I was a kid, I always thought she was 18 not 16 so it was kind of a shock when I started rewatching the show about a yr ago and heard that. Anyway, she's 17 in this AU but already moved out to college on a scholarship bc living in FentonWorks is kind of hell and she has that Older Sibling Guilt for leaving Danny there. For her clothes, I wanted it to be a mix of tactical and preppy.
Danny! (Fenton) The effects of FentonWorks hell is much more visible on Danny than Jazz because she got out of there as soon as she could. Because of that though, a lot of the chores in the lab got pushed onto Danny, without passing on many safety tips, like replacing the ecto-filtrator, cleaning contaminated tools, organizing ecto-weapons, etc. And because he doesn't know any better when it comes to safety, he has many symptoms of radiation poisoning: visually, this comes through in the discoloration/scarring on his skin (Jazz has some slight scarring on her face and hands as well), the cataract on his left eye, as well as burst blood vessels in that eye. For his clothes, I wanted them to look a bit ragged and worn through ripped seams, tears in the jeans, & duct tape around his shoe.
Danny! (Phantom) I don't actually have a lot to SAY about my choics, but I am really happy with it. There are still a few things. I wanted his hair as Fenton & Phantom to be different but still reminiscent of the simplistic rendering of the original show: Fenton is kind of timid so his hair falls over his face, & Phantom is more active/aggressive so his hair is pushed upward. The only other thing I want to comment on is his skin: it's kind of about how I usually stylize Phantom (and I mentioned this when I redesigned Dani a while back) but a "healthy" Phantom in my style would have more bright cyan skin and an unhealthy Phantom has a more dull/zombie green. And lastly, as a ghost, the radiation poisoning kind of cleans up into more neat scarring rather than the muddy/bleeding look as Fenton.
Maddie! Now, I'm gonna be honest, real vulnerable here,... I hate Maddie's canon haircut. It's ugly, I'm not sorry. But I can modify it, so it's fine: now it's curlier, a bit darker, and has a few grey streaks bc she's a genius and constantly pulling long working hours. And, it didn't come across as much as I wanted, but she's got some biceps, strong lady. Now, I'm not really sure why, but I wanted to shift the color of her and Jack's jumpsuit, making hers much more desaturated.
Jack! Big guy. I don't have many thoughts about him either, but I did give him glasses and some stubble for a little bit more dad energy (?) I mainly changed the color of his jumpsuit bc Orange is an extremely hard color for me to render for some reason, so now it's the classic Hazard Yellow. Finally, the most notable difference is the coat I put on him for a bit more scientist energy but my main reasoning for it is the potential visual of him being an absolute tank jumping from overhead with the ghost gauntlets and his coat flapping behind him. Also, I generally like the idea of him presenting himself as a big, dumb teddy-bear, always smiling, but completely unhinged below that facade: dropping the smile or not while towering over you in shadow. Wild imagery.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Do not count on any actual steps towards creating this fic in the near future, it's just on my mind right now, but I NEED to finish my other projects first 🙏🙏🙏 That said, I will (eventually) get around to a handful more character redesigns for this AU including: Vlad, Sam, Tucker, Valerie, Paulina, and maybe Lancer & Dash
#danny phantom#fanart#my art#33xhausted art#character redesign#Radiation!AU#maddie fenton#jack fenton#jazz fenton#danny fenton#bad parenting
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@/griefrituals tags on point as always
people will agree w posts about how we need to protect vulnerable people all day until they find out that it sometimes means they'll be mildly inconvenienced
#covid#you! yes you! can become immunocompromised after getting covid#even if you were healthy before#read up on covids effects on your t cells#ever wonder why lots of people seem to get sick very often now? well.
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"oh nooo, is it oppression to tell kids when to go to bed now?" yeah actually. like. very straightforwardly. if i can't get up in the middle of the night to make a frozen burrito without being punished, i'm being subjugated. why was this supposedly different when i was 13? because i didn't know how to make good choices about my sleep hygiene yet? how was i supposed to learn if the only thing ever done was enforce a bedtime for me? how was i supposed to feel out what feels good and healthy for my body if the entire structure i existed in was about imposing someone else's desires on my body and ignoring any negative effects for the sake of following the rules?
treating "bedtime abolition" like something silly and frivolous is putting a lot of faith in the idea that parents unilaterally understand what's going on in their children's minds and bodies and always act with the utmost respect and care for their internal experiences. this idea really does not pan out in reality. like. at all. yes, even among leftist parents.
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