#headcanon (Johnny)

[writersdrug]

Johnny "Soap" Mactavish is the kind of dad who throws your kids around for fun, tossing them into the air and catching them just to hear their infectious laughter, ignoring the worrisome protests that you call out from the kitchen when they get a little too high.

Captain John Price is the kind of dad who convinces your children to ask you for pizza for dinner, acting all surprised when you tell him to call the local pizza place, eyebrows rising with "What's the occasion?" despite the obvious grin that his plan worked. You aren't fooled.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick is the kind of dad who chases your kids around with a nerf gun, relentlessly pelting them with styrofoam bullets and ganging up on your oldest son with your youngest daughter. Waits behind the front door for your son to get home from school and immediately fires on him.

Simon "Ghost" Riley is the kind of dad who holds your toddlers like footballs, your daughter tucked sideways under his arm and dangling your son by his ankle. "Found these mice sniffin' 'round the cookie tin." He says with a deadpan expression, but you don't miss the way his mouth twitches when they giggle and shriek.

[witchthewriter]

Gaz: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Soap: Weak. I sleep with a gun.

Y/N: You’re both pathetic

Soap: What do YOU sleep with?

Y/N: Simon.

[buns0fst33l]

I’d love to hear other peoples’ thoughts on this, but hear me out…

Soap is lowkey way scarier than Ghost

He’s not usually scary because he doesn’t try to be. Soap is very charming and boisterous and has a great sense of humor.

But I saw someone point out how Soap’s eyes are just on the side of too blue if he wants them to be. Too intent. Have you seen the way he looks at graves? Have you seen the way his ADHD ass focuses with that wide-eyed, predator-like intensity?

Soap isn’t a bad guy, he wants to fight for what’s right. But he likes the fight. He has fun. I sincerely believe this man has a very well-hidden and controlled sadistic side.

He’s a demolitions expert. He’s incredibly smart and incredibly destructive. I feel like people headcanon him as being the most effeminate or happy-go-lucky of the 141, which he very well may be! But I also think he is the most batshit insane and quite possibly the last person I’d want to cross.

[lulurubberduckie]

Captain John Price is always in control in my mind, inside or outside the bedroom. He makes the decisions, he handles the bills, “Don’t you worry your pretty head about a thing love, daddy’s got it handled” he’d say with a wink and a kiss to your forehead.

Simon Ghost Riley is in control in the bedroom but a partner outside. Like you’ll “split” the bills, but he pays the majority while you pay something like the Internet and whatever ridiculous subscriptions you want. “I make more than you it just makes since, pet”

Kyle Gaz Garrick is a switch in the bedroom but is similar to his Captain. You guys don’t live together yet so he pay for everything outside of your bills cuz you won’t let him, I’m talking nails, hair, you get waxed? He’s 100% paying. And he’s an amazing tipper too. Doesn’t matter what it is. You take him grocery shopping? He’s sneaking his card in place of yours when you’re not looking.

Johnny Soap MacTavish is whatever you want baby. You want him to pin you down and fuck you in a head lock? You’ve got it! You want him tied up to the bed and whimpering out, sign him tf up! He will try anything once because one thing he knows is that life is short so why the hell not? Outside of the bedroom tho he’s in charge of the bills but you can get groceries type situation. He’s taking on majority of bills or living expenses I’m talking 90/10 and he’ll always come home from the gym with some sort of gift. Anything ranging from a smoothie from the shop down the road from the gym to a stray cat he stumbled upon on his way home.

[tradgedyinwaves]

Poly!141, knowing your ex didn't give you the time of day unless he wanted something and refusing to be anything like him. Ghost! who makes sure your lunch is made so that you don't have to worry about it in the morning before work. Price! who makes you dinner when you come home every night and it's always something you like and didn't have to ask for. Johnny! who has taken notes in his phone for your order at every restaurant and memorized which locations are your favorites

Gaz! who insists on doing the grocery shopping and always grabs a little treat for you.

Ghost! who knows how to fold the laundry and insists on helping you which inevitably ends up with him doing it all and sending you off to relax.

Price! who notices when you wake up on the wrong side of the bed and instead of holding it against you, tries to lighten your mood with your favorite snacks and movies.

Johnny! who dotes on you when you're sick with no regard to his own well being, keeping you on a regular schedule of medication and not letting you leave the bed for anything other than showers and bathroom breaks.

Gaz! who knows exactly which tampons and pads you need when your period comes, weighing you down in snacks, pain meds, and massages

Of course, you never want for a good dicking either.

Ghost! who takes you hard and fast, edging you till tears stream down your cheeks

"Aw, don't look at me like that, luv. You'll get to cum...eventually"

Price! who has you in a mating press every chance he gets, whispering in your ear about how pretty you'd look with a belly swollen with his kid.

"Gonna put a baby right here, little bird. pump you so full it has to take."

Johnny! who is willing to try anything. You want him to fuck your ass? He's scissoring his fingers inside you expertly. You want to peg him? Absolutely, just be nice, eh?

"Fuck, lass. I think you fuck me better than the boys"

(and of course, you take that to heart and brag to the others)

Gaz! who will spend hours with his face between your thighs until your crying from overstimulation and trying to get away from his expert tongue while he drags you back to him.

"Don't run from me, pet. You're just so sweet, I can't help myself"

[deunmiu-dessie-sideblog]

lmao thinking about how the tf141 men know you're serious by the way you say their given names. like they just turn docile immediately, no matter what they're doing or their positions.

“kyle, johnny, zip it.” swiveling in your chair, you turn your gaze towards them and glare, lips set into a thin line. the two men who sit next to each other stop their quiet bickering and nod softly, focusing on laswell once more.

ghost usually avoids doing med checkups when the time of year rolls around and it just ends up making the medical professional's jobs harder than it needs to be (they usually come to you in order to get him to do it.) “simon, i’m not in the mood. now.” he sulks and broods (swears he doesn't.) but nonetheless does the med check up, that you sit in on so he doesn't run.

price isn't exempt from it either, despite being captain. during a mission including farah and her people, the two had been going back and forth on the trek to the meet-up point. annoyed you had stopped price with a hand to his chest and met his eyes. “john, leave it alone. we don't have time for this.” he’d kept eye contact for a bit but had nodded, clapping you on the shoulder. “heard, seargent.”

ppl call you the 141 whisperer 💀 lolll

[penguinbuttcheeks]

- johnny ‘soap’ mactavish is absolutely livid when he sees a picture of you being shared around base - tears in your eyes and clothes drenched in water, making the fabric stick to your body uncomfortably, your arms tightly wrapped around your torso in humiliation.

- the cherry on top? the dog collar around your neck with your dog tags hanging on display, dangling between your collarbones.

- you’ve only just finished your first week on base as the newest recruit, but that excited spark in your eyes was quickly diminished

- he doesn’t even know your name, but what he does know is he won’t stand for the blatant disrespect towards the new recruits he’s going to be training and fighting alongside

- hazing is a strictly prohibited practice, but with no way to trace down who the original photographer was, none of the higher ups are able to enforce any form of punishment

- it makes him see red

- soap will go out of his way to beat the ever loving shit out of any soldier that has the picture saved to their phones, forcing them to delete it right before his eyes before spitting on them and walking away

- word on base is quickly spread and soldiers scramble to make sure there is no trace of the photo on their phones. you have a death wish if you’re willing to anger the 141 sergeant

- you’re quick to notice the sudden change in attitude towards you, no longer being called demeaning nicknames or tormented by the soldiers around you

- what you fail to notice however, is the sharp glare johnny sends their way as he trails behind you several metres back as you navigate through the halls, soldiers quickly averting their gaze or ducking their heads

- you shrug it off, ruling it down to your initiation finally being complete once the photo was snapped

- such a clueless little hen, completely unaware of the constant presence that lingers just out of your line of sight

- it’s a blessing that soap took an interest in you. he might just have to finally introduce himself once all the commotion has died down

- he can’t wait

[allthegothihopgirls]

when the batboys get broken bones or other things that can't be fixed in the batcave, and have to go to an actual hospital, they make up the most outlandish sounding excuses for their injuries:

dick (with a broken leg): "well you see, i was actually trying to jump over a river on a pair of rollerskates"

jason (with broken ribs): "i was volunteering at the zoo... feeding the alligators. i fell backwards with the meat in my hands, and one pounced on me. funny how much damage they can do."

tim (with the worst concussion man has ever seen): "oh that? i was walking outside.. and my brothers were playing basketball on the top floor of the house, and one of them accidentally threw the ball out the window, and it landed on my head"

(bruce hears that one and has to reconsider whether or not the version of the story tim told him (getting hit by condiment king's mustard launcher) was the truth or not)

damian (with fingers twisted in every direction): "i play the piano... very violently"

[tojisun]

!! it’s very silly and unserious and the only reason it’s long is because it’s so vivid in my head. unedited as hell </3

nosy neighbours tf 141 got me giggling. and it’s not even inherently sexy nor attractive, it’s really just them being in people’s (or a person���s) business.

thinking about how, in retirement, they still bought a house together because it’s so odd to have separate lives. and so they bought one in the suburbs, with five bedrooms and four baths, and a really big backyard. kyle picked up gardening so the backyard was not just a plus but a damn requirement.

so they move in, not giving a damn about that one old WASP couple across the street watching them all with a sneer because apparently moving in with your mates is unusual. well, whatever. fuck them.

then they meet their new neighbour. you’re single—divorced, price would tell them later—whose life is centred around your 9 to 5 job at an office in the city which you wake up at 5am for.

you leave the house at 6:30am and then amble back home when it’s pushing 8pm. it’s a boring life; a boring routine. not even your little front lawn of cared-for wild flowers managed to hold their attention longer than a day.

so with that said, they’d like to go on a record and say that it’s all johnny’s fault.

friday evening, he started the game by saying, “she bought a baguette.” he paused. “and a bottle? it's shaped like lube?”

john blinked, setting his book down. “what.”

mactavish shrugged, still peering from the crack in the curtains. kyle walked in then, his apron all dirtied. “hey, i’m craving a baguette.”

johnny laughed and looked at price like price was supposed to get something from that. of course he didn’t, but johnny’s always been good at carrying the momentum so, to no one’s surprise, he repeats the observation three days after the previous one.

“bag’o coal and lemon bread. what the hell.”

“that’s a disgusting dinner combo,” kyle chirps, switching the channels.

simon throws a pillow at him because he had been watching a documentary about moths when kyle changed the program without asking him.

“it’s just monday,” john finally replies, cementing his participation in the game. “why’s she buying lem—did she not grocery shop?”

johnny looks at him, wide-eyed. “that’s a good question, sir.” then he turns, ignoring them again to peer at their neighbour. john’s sure you’re back in your home so he really doesn’t know what johnny’s watching at that point.

simon was successful at wrestling the remote control back to him, and the program’s returned to the moths.

.

thursday evening, two and a half weeks after monday’s lemon bread and bag of coal, the game picks up again.

“who the hell makes a rug purchase during the weekdays?” kyle asks, his voice teetering between fascination and concern.

“how long’s the rug?” johnny replies, all of them watching as kyle stands in front of that slip of window they now use for ‘bird watching.’

kyle spreads his arms out—2.5 ft.

“huh,” johnny says. “for the toilet, you reckon?”

“probably for the cat, actually,” simon cuts in.

“what cat.” john doesn’t even know who asked that, but really—what cat?

“a round thing,” simon answers. “grey fur.”

“aww,” johnny croons. “that’s cute.”

john sighs and turns back to the morning paper’s crossword puzzle for the day.

.

you don’t join the neighbourhood’s annual summer barbecue party much to their disappointment. although, in all fairness, john understands your decision because they wouldn’t have gone to it anyway had they not found out that the host this year was going to be that WASP couple who still sneered at them every chance they get.

the wife, of course, couldn’t turn them away in front of the other neighbours who particularly loved kyle and, shockingly, simon so there they are, eating what is begrudgingly some good ribs while listening to the neighbourhood gossip.

and while each story was riveting, nothing could honestly hold a candle to their ‘bird’ and your peculiar grocery runs.

.

one evening, you come home with a man. john tells them it’s your ex-husband, admitting to them that yes, he’s now used up their once-a-month pass to accessing ‘special’ resources with regards to finding more about you.

“think they’re fuckin’?” johnny asks, no longer feigning disinterest.

kyle groans because it had been more than a minute now since johnny dropped a card from his stack; they tried their best to be patient as they waited, thinking mactavish needed more time since, apparently, he’s never played cards before—growing up as a catholic boy, he’s always been told that any form of gambling was a gateway to eternal damnation.

john didn’t have the heart to tell him that you didn’t have to make bets to be able to play cards.

“maybe,” simon replies, ignoring kyle’s angry grumbling. “why else would she bring him home? her house ain’t really a wonder.”

“…how do you know that?” kyle asks, his words measured and slowed.

simon blinks, then he sniffs, before looking away.

“hey!” mactavish screams, catching on. “we agreed no tampering with anythin’ of ‘ers!”

“yeah? well tell ‘at to cap’n too—he was already there when i broke in.”

johnny turns to him with a theatrical betrayed look. kyle drops his head on the table because the game’s been fully abandoned now.

“sir,” johnny says, his voice airy like he’s speaking mid-gasp. “you didn’t.”

john licks the back of his teeth, then, “jus’ wanted to see ‘er cat, s’all.”

.

the ex-husband leaves three hours later with a familiar rug tucked to his side.

.

“huh,” simon murmurs, his voice so faint that john almost missed it. “tulips and tuna today.”

johnny and kyle would’ve loved the update but the two are away for the week.

john messages it to the group chat.

suds (19:21)

> holy shit she’s improving.

.

oddly enough, it took them six months since they moved in for them to finally talk to you.

or, well, for you to talk to them.

“i’m havin’ a yard sale tomorrow,” you say after the introductions have passed, your lips tugged up in a shy smile.

john honestly couldn’t even remember how he used to envision you—old age caught up to him and for a whole while, you were nothing but a coloured blob in his eyes since they turned out to be more damaged than expected—but whatever that had been was erased the moment you stood before them.

shy and awkward, your back slouched just a little like you’re trying to curl into yourself in the face of their rapt attention, but even then you’re beautiful.

“yeah?” kyle asks, smiling; the first to break out of the trance you put them into. “and would y’need help, pretty miss?”

“oh, you,” you murmur, strained laughter peeling from your lips. “and yeah, i do. would that be alright? i tried moving my old couch downstairs and my back almost gave out. i swear, i thought i was going to see the lord today.”

johnny laughs, loud and booming. “well we’re glad that you didn’t die today, otherwise who would take care of little truffle, huh?”

john barely stopped himself from heaving out a loud sigh, an attempt made more challenging when he caught the way kyle whirled his head to glare at mactavish, the act not any less subtle since it startled you too. simon grumbles something incoherent—it’s lost amidst johnny’s petering laugh and your swelling horror.

“…how, exactly, do you know my cat’s name?”

[codnasties]

cod characters fucking fleshlights

this post includes: soap, ghost, gaz, price, graves, konig & alejandro

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

soap 🧼- the one that takes his time

now, this ain't soap's first time using a fleshlight. he started with a tenga egg or something like that, just for the sake of trying something that wasn't his hand. and i just know that troughout the years he has created a decently sized collection with a lot of varietiy: fleshlights imitating pussies, asses, mouths,... even if a man like him could easily pull a pretty lass to fuck, with the job he has and what it requires of him, it isn't always ideal.

but there is one thing that soap does, no matter weather he's fucking one of his partners or a plastic replica: he takes his time. stroking himself tentatively before lubing his dick up and loweing the fleshlight onto his hard on until he's balls deep. and when i say he fucks it as if it were a real person i mean it. he's fucking int in diferent positions, jerking himself with it but also fucking into it, both slow and fast until cums all over himself

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

ghost 👻- the stretcher

ghost sometimes has to ask himself if he's really that big and thick or if it's just that the one or two fleslights he owns are way too fucking small. he doesn't know, but he very much loves it. there is something about the size difference, the way the plastic stretches to fit him and how he can perfecly see it expanding as he pushes his dick deeper into it that makes him go feral.

now, other than his size kink goin brrr, he finds himself swiping his cock against the flesglight's pussy-like entrance, as if he were teasing a real cunt, before fucking himself slowly into it. he's mersmerized by the plastic doll completely swallowing up his aching hard dick until he's balls deep. he also intends to pull out - just to save himself some clean up - but he finds himself so overwhelmed by the feeling and visuals that he just fill the fleshlight up with his potent cum - more than once, at that -.

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

gaz 🧢- mess making perpetrator

this may be my most repeated gaz headcanon but he's a mess maker and there is no deniying. when he get's home from a mission or something like that and he doesn't feel like trying to find a partner to fuck, he always has a trusty fleshlight. the thing is, he doesn't even make it to the bedroom most of the time, deciding to just fuck it in his livingroom.

he just plunged deeply into the plastic pussy, stretching the plastic over his limit because his dick is too long for the small fleshlight, almos breking it. the pent up hornyness and the feeling of something other than his hand wrapped around his dick sending him into an orgasm faster than he expected. he pulls out to first his impossibly hard cock when he feels himself about to cum. and he stains the sofa with it as the mess perpetrator that he is - and let me tell you, it ain't the first time he's had to clean his seed out of that sofa.

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

price 🚬- the first timer

price is an older and more traditional man, he would rather fuck another person than some piece of plastic. but he keps hearing his men talk about fleshlights, how good they feel,.. and all that combined with the fact that he ain't getting younger, he's extra tired and trying to find a partner with a job like his is tedious, he decides to get himself a fleshlight just to try it out of curiotisty.

what he did not expect was that god forsaken piece of plastic would feel that fucking good. all it took was some slow deep strokes into it before he found himself cumming. and at that moment his lust filled brain took over and he started fucking himself into the fleshlight again, trying to extend the pleasure of the orgasm. let's say he now fully understands why his men praise them plastic holes.

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

konig 🗡- the nasty fucker

lets be real, konig is fleshlight collector number 2. anxiety gets the best of him so he would rather to make do with some plastic pussy or ass than having to deal with the hassle of interacting with people. his not that experiended ass is fucking enamoured by the feeling of and ass or pussy, even if it isn't a real one.

now, konig allways finds himself doing two thing every time he uses one of his fleshlight. a. he moans. like a bitch in heat. he can't help it, it just feels overwhelingly good to have something wrapping tightly around his unexperienced cock. and the fact of finally getting some release. b. he makes messes - yup, mess making perpetrator no. 2 -. spit, precum, lube and cum mixing all together, covering his dick, hands and fleshlight as he fucks himself dumb and slaps his dick all over yhe plastic ass.

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

graves 🪦 - the stressed

now, these military men always find themselves stressed out, it's a part of the job. but for graves, said job and the tension that it generates have kept him away for some time now from a real pussy or ass. so a fleshlight is a good alternative, giving him all that he needs to reach some much needed release.

the few occasions he has had enough time to indulge in some pleasure, he's going to make the most of it. alternating slow, sensual deep strokes and fast shallow ones. hands making sure that the fleshlight stays in place as he plunges into it chasing an orgasm and moanig at the sweet feeling of release. he for sure cums deep inside of the plastic masturbator, because it may be plastic, but he loves creampie-ing it the same way he would creampie a real person.

· · ────── ꒰ঌ·✦·໒꒱ ────── · ·

alejandro 🤠 - the tip teaser

alejandro doesn't strike me as the type of person that would have a proper fleshlight, you know? instead of a piece of plastic that fully engulfs his dick he has one of those quickshot ones. a transparent one at that. it gives him a lot of options, from fully jerking his cock with it to just teasing his tip.

and oh does he love to tease his tip! using that comact masturbator to play with his angry red bulbous tip. pushing just the head in and out, sometimes tilting it to make his dick pop out of the fleshlihgwith a wet noise. and seeing his cock breach into the plastic, dick twitching at the feeling, his stomach spasming from the sensation... he always inevitably cums all over himself, staining his hard shaft, lower hairy stomach, thights and even the quilt.

[shmalk]

ghost has no idea what to make of you. you show up out of nowhere, barely a day after price announces that they have an extra addition on their team for the next mission, and then you show up.

you're nothing like them - you probably haven't seen a man get shot, never felt your bones break and have to set them yourself in a fight. he has this sick fantasy of breaking you, wiping that stupid smile off your face and watching you crumple as he breaks your spine with one hand.

soap loves having you on base, you're good with a gun and you'll joke with him about almost anything - sure, you never come out to the pub with them, but whenever they come back to base you've cooked something and that's better than any pint of beer johnny's ever had.

he's worried, he thinks you wont make it out there - beside them. you're small, and not in the sense that you're short, in the sense that there's barely anything to you, nothing to grab if you trip in the middle of active fire.

gaz is just finally glad to have someone else to talk to, to complain about soap and ghost to, rant about how price pissed him off. you're always willing to talk, which is probably a good thing.

he always turns down his radio whenever you're on a mission together, he doesn't want to hear you die, or hear your voice trail off as you get caught. he has to bite his knuckle whenever you speak out of fear.

price is sick of it, sick of watching the boys play with you like a doll and then sit you delicately back on the shelf, so he takes matters into his own hands and shoots you between the eyes.

you sit up four minutes later.

ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

i just rlly like the idea of immortal!reader but the guys have no idea and suspect nothing until they get shot in the head and then just,,, get back up !

[lumibuns-blog]

Simon falls even more in love with Johnny's roommate when she's so tired from classes that she just falls straight onto the couch where he's supposed to be sleeping. He can't help but smile as he takes a blanket and curls up on the floor, he wakes up with your sleepy smile facing down towards him. Mumbling your apologies and asking what he wants for breakfast, he can't help but wonder what it would be like to have that face right beside him instead.

Little blurb while I work in the longer part which will be posted tmr💪 also testing out tagging bc idk what I'm doing lmaooo

Tags

@sleep101 @urbimom @noisydelusionlove @plk-18 @pinkyfqiry @wwe1rdc0re @vmaxis @jenlvr01 @lovelovelovelovelove987654321 @ifsunmibts @callmeluno @nina-from-317 @strawberrygateau @leryg0 @weemansoap @dreamtofus @imjustheretofightforlove @electricmentalitypersona

[tradgedyinwaves]

Poly!141 and their emotional damage

Ghost! who after a long, draining mission finds comfort in your waiting arms, shushing him as you hold him to your chest and pet down his blonde locks.

Price! who's life was saved by Johnny, almost losing him and he needs your reassurance that he was worthy of it, worthy of such a sacrifice from one of his boys.

Johnny! who hasn't been quite the same since that bullet pierced his skull. In the rare moments where you see how it affected him, you will find him on his back on the floor, staring at the ceiling and barely breathing. (it's a little unnerving to say the least, but he's generally fine.)

Gaz! who now has a fear of heights that he refuses to admit to. But when he finds you out on the balcony, leaning over to see the cat on the balcony below, he snatches you from the railing and hauls you inside.

[moongreenlight]

Johnny is the kind of guy that you hook up with when you’re on a girls trip and fully expect to never see him again.

But it turns out he was on deployment so when you go home and start seeing him at the grocery store you think there’s no way it could be him. Has to be a trick of the light.

It’s not. When he sees you in the frozen aisle he’ll come straight up behind you and grope your ass like he has the right.

“Knew it was ye. Know you better from this angle than the front, anyhow.”

[slaughter-kin]

okay but being a bookworm and your strong military boyfriend takes you shopping at a bookstore and follows you around carrying all your books and every time you start rambling about a book you’ve picked up they get a small loving smile on their face

characters in mind while writing- könig, john mactavish, simon riley, kyle garrick, john price

[witchthewriter]

Gaz: Soap and Y/N are missing, can you find them?

Simon: What, do you think I have them microchipped or something?

Price: Well, do you?

Simon:

Simon: Yeah, hang on.