#headache here I come
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2 essays, storyboard collage, research, cooking exam, math assignments
oh and I still haven't studied for my next 6 exams
#cramming#exam season#someone gimme coffee#a massage would be nice#headache here I come#i'm procrastinating#why is my heart beating so fast#sweaty palms#tension headache#slight nausea#is this anxiety
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heartstopper 💗
#i know everyone and their cat (ha) has done this gif already but i wanted to try my own version anyway <3#he's so so beautiful here he actually takes my breath away#daniel howell#dan howell#dan and phil#dapg#dan and phil games#danandphilgames#dpgdaily#my stuff#my gifs#the phil companion gif is hopefully coming soon!! <3 <3 <3#and after that maybe i'll finally choose something HIGH QUALITY to gif that won't give me a HEADACHE#i do love the candid shots though sigh
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got carried away practicing in preparation to make something else
#yeah i stole this general format from some blog here that i can no longer find but it was cool#and i like the idea of having refs to make sure i stay as close to my stylized on-model as i can#that fucking part of the mantis arm was giving me a headache though#you change the angle even slightly and it looks like a whole new limb#its so complex and so hard to portray in 2d#the others are fine though except for my wrongness with the camera limb#i guess its technically not upside down depending on what angle its coming from but bite me#little stain there to fill space#might not even get to what i actually wanted to draw today. tired#art#absolutesolver#murder drones absolutesolver#murder drones absolute solver#murder drones#but i will make it eventually. you will see
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every time someone calls moirallegience just an alien qpr i wilt a lil like YEAH thats more or less the CLOSEST human thing but its also Literally Not That. like a qpr is fundanmentally not romantic and thats not even going into moirails whole Actual Purpose of calming ppl down. its just. aughhhhh pisses me off i see the confusion but, as aformentioned, aughhhhh
OH MY GOD THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME TOO.... but i don't want to get petty at the people in my notes always saying "moirails are QPRs!" because in some ways that is the closest human thing so it's hard to be mad...
i think there's definitely some overlap in some ways. but NOT because moirallegiance and qprs are the same at all really, but INSTEAD because both relationships have unconventional boundaries defined by the people within them.
you know... like every relationship.
like the only reason the two have overlap is because they are both partnerships that emotionally care for each other but can choose to not bang (which is true for any romance anyway, even if it's considered abnormal). they're both just romances* that are unconventional to human norms, which makes people view them as the same thing when they're not.
i think the REAL issue here is that humans insist on using human words to understand things that are just, fundamentally, alien. can't we just appreciate alien romance for being... alien romance?
no, it's not platonic, it's romantic. it's just romantic in a way you aren't quite wired to understand, is all.
*in generalization, most QPRs are not romantic, because they are made up of aroaces who are life partners in a non-romantic way. however i want to disagree with you that none of them are romantic, because that is up to the partners in question.
#quadrants#homestuck#moirallegiance#BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG OMG THANK YOU FOR THE ASK#its just i USED to think they were the same#and then recently i kept getting pissy when people said they were the same so i was like. okay let's unpack this#what's the overlap here and what's the differences?#and really people THINK theyre the same because they think theyre both like. 'im gonna platonically marry my friend!' ^w^#(which is obviously not actually what either of them are like. lol)#when REALLY what they have in common is 'hey you're a person i want to have a committed partnership. but potentially not sex or tradition'#and it's not really fair to compare them because they come from totally different places and have totally different standards#QPR was created as an ALTERNATIVE to allonorms. its about saying 'hey lets make up our own rules. my life partner can be platonic if i want#whereas moirallegiance IS a norm and its not counter any culture. it's just 'trolls have biological romantic feelings/needs in This way.'#idk idk how to explain it any further because ive spent a fucking hour on this post and i have a massive headache so feel free to ask me--#more specific questions if the shit i said here doesnt make any sense (；￣ー￣)..#<- wow haha the troll fictive autism really jumped out with this post huh. whoops#hsmeta#long post#op
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Does he look horrified enough or do I gotta up the trauma factor
Dtiys by: @ask-all-the-kindergarteners
#tedishorrifieddtiys#kindergarten 2#kindergarten game#kindergarten fanart#kindergarten ted#ted huxley#kindergarten kid#wow dreams do come true (joining one of your dtiys)#guess who drew this at 3 am 🤭#the combination of. the semi realism or some shit and cartoon style#ok. good night. i badly need sleeppp (ー_ー゛)#major headache in the morning here I come
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Do you ever feel as if your body is just stuck in an endless loop of anxiety? Like one thing you're anxious about goes away and instantly another replaces it and it just does not stop
#spent years worrying about a relationship#found a bf and now I worry about health#worried about gastritis which went away#oop here come the headaches#headaches went away soo lets worry about visioon#was told today my vision is perfect#guess its time to worry about wisdom teeth and my face sagging as i get older#great#anxiety
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The idea of Bhaal betting on Durge eventually breaking down (from religious indoctrination, trauma bond, loss of purpose/ambition, whatever) and then they'll be ready to become his pawn again just to get some semblance of that back (and then he can punish them for their rebellion and failure).
But then Bane canonically taking an interest in the protagonist, whether they chose to control the brain or not, and also apparently having had an interest in Durge's ambition/cruelty pre-amnesia and calling dibs...
This could go hilariously.
Bane: “So you want ambition, power, dark purpose, and an unhealthy attachment to terrible authority figures do you?”
Bhaal: "You can't call dibs on my ex-Chosen, Bane!"
Bane, who never responds well to being told what to do: “Dibs.” :)
#Myrkul has a headache again#Romance Gale; encourage hubris; become god; power solved?#Romancing Astarion comes with built-in purpose whichever ending I guess: seek cure; conquer world; (try to) rule#And some endings have platonic variants to the romance routes too#Lae'zel's rebellion#Curing Karlach#Wyll and Shadowheart do you have any ambitions to work on?#Domesticity isn't really hitting it here#Nor are the others on par with divine purpose really but it's something#babbling#/durge#edgelord hours#the idiot three
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Can Dain stop being such a killjoy for 5 minutes? Violet is out here kicking ass, being cunning and intelligent and bonding with not one but two. TWO dragons. He's never happy about any of this. Never congratulates Violet. It's always okay well now you can run. Pick the smaller, weaker dragon.
Dude. Shut the fuck up.
Dain has one character trait and it's red flag.
#I've never seen more of a red flag in a character then him.#here i am enjoying this book and then theres this agitating sound in the back of my head.#I flip the page and oh. its because Dain appeared#the written embodiment of that headache meme that comes and goes#fourth wing#dain aetos#violet sorrengail#xaden riorson#tairn#tairneanach#the empyrean#rebecca yarros#becs.txt
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I’m here for one reason and one reason only and it’s merlin edits to “Nobody’s soldier” by Hozier and thank.
#if someone can please direct me to where i may find those#i’m sure they’re here hiding somewhere i just know#i can feel it in my nuggets#anyways i feel like missed everyone here#and giving everyone a headache by my anime phase is NOT the way to come back i’d say#but alas#we persevere#screaming into the tumblr void#random thoughts#bbc merlin#merthur#merlin bbc#merlin#fanart
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Guess I'm back at my bullshit again, qnd right on time for Christmas. Yaay.
#i am really tired#havent drawn in like months#but here have some todd#he is probably giving sheppard a headache#i have this headache that comes and goes...#todd enters the picture singing christmas carols to better understand humanity#oh look here it goes again#stargate#sga#todd the wraith#stargate atlantis#stargate wraith
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girlhood
#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day#like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again#and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her#I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her#and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again#“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her#growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain#and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when#people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it#but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one#and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her#lol!!!!!!!!!
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This is the exact reason why I hate when people ask to go through my phone. Its always Tsukasa’s fault just remember that.
#tenma facts come first because theyre js real like that#who would tsukasa tenma be without his siblings#uhh i may need to change or add onto some of these btw#if you have any cool little facts you can hand over… ahaha.. id love that 😊 (<- shaking)#IM COLLECTING EMUNENERUI FACTS TOO i swear. Unfortunately this blonde freak won’t let me go… Please.. Dude…#every time ive had a friend ask for my phone ive had to make up some sort of excuse or Hover. I mean hover over them#Like honestly i hate people going throuugh my phone js because of personal info that people choose to open up to me ab thats on there but#Some of them are probably suspicious. It really just is stuff related to my special interests#you open the notes and theres 30 word vomits in the wxs folder and god only knows how many other ones + ouran ideas in another#and 90% of them are unfinished#you check youtube and then theres over 40+ video essays in one playlist idek how many theatre related videos and “soap tutorials” and then#Over 100 videos in the wxs/leoni playlist#Mainly wxs videos too… I have a problem..#You open the photos. 1.2k tsukasa photos in one album says it all. And then the 600 wxs videos#I have at least 3k prsk related photos on my phone How did we get here after 2 years#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#tsukasa tenma#tenma tsukasa#he gives me a headache#wxs tsukasa#facts#ideas
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I'm considering working on changing the pups' blog theme like right now as I'm using my friend's computer
On the other side I really need to get done checking my students last homeworks
Oh the dilemma
#I literally can feel the headache coming back#I also can hear a high pitched noise coming from his keyboard which no one else here can hear it#You see what I mean when I say I HATE FIREWORKS?
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🤔 could it be that a large part of the queer community treats bisexuals like we're somehow diseased for dating someone of the opposite sex and that's why so many of us are in m/f relationships? no? you don't think that lesbians telling bi women that they have "man cooties" from dating a man 6 years ago and will "infect" any women she dates afterwards might have some effect on who bi women date?
#cleo.txt#biphobia#i'm so fucking tired#i'm at work and have a headache and it's friday#i don't need to come on here and see this biphobic bullshit#i've gotten enough of it in fandom the last few months
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my mom owed me like $20 so I just asked her if she'd buy me this nice lounge bra I'd been eyeing so she did and GIRLS. THIS IS SO COMFY
#and it has a high neckline so I can wear it as a cropped undershirt#some days I do be winning#also I have a thriftbooks order supposed to be here soon bc I needed my own copy of die young with me#and I also decided to finally get another book I've been thinking about for a while even though it was ''new'' priced#plus I'm having a new possible temporary (she's a college student graduating in the spring) friend over on Sunday#AND one of my closest irl friends is coming over tomorrow bc her washing machine is broken so she's using ours lol#and there's a labor day event going on this weekend including a free community rodeo !!!#all that said. despite the tension headache I gave myself using a new pillow (dw I took smth for it and will not be#using that pillow again)... it is.shaping up to be a LOVELY week#Lu rambles
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something about that whole incident must have changed something in my brain chemistry cause my insomnia’s gotten bad again
the past few days i’ve getting to sleep at two or three. kinda sucks i guess, but i don’t really want to resort to taking melatonin again
#i took melatonin every night for a year straight and now i get frequent headaches and nightmares every time i sleep#is that the melatonin or is that the year that most of my trauma comes from/when it got worse#hard to say. maybe both. i don’t remember!#and y’know it sucks not being able to go to sleep#because i can’t even read after a certain point#it gets too watery and everywhere and it’s difficult to figure out the words and letters#mmm i did say you wouldn’t be hearing from me until tomorrow#but it’s past midnight here so that’s fine it’s fine#i don’t like tumblr anymore. i don’t like being here anymore#i get scared whenever i get activity now. i get uncomfortable just having the tab open#how pathetic is that?#really pathetic. really fucking pathetic#probably because i know they’re still looking at me and i hate being watched#y’know i have thoughts like ford but the only demon here is my faulty synapses#it feels pathetic. i feel pathetic. i don’t have a reason like he does#and even then people say he doesn’t have enough of a reason#i’m so fucking pathetic
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