#he's the older half-brother of my mom's service dog

[getvalentined]

Dogsitting while my folks are out of town for the day and even tho I see this guy about once a week I still forget how big he is. It really isn't clear unless you're there, no matter how I try to get it across.

Those floor tiles are 13×13 inches (33×33cm) not counting the grout between them. He's enormous.

[babyjakes]

tw: traumatic childhood, fucked up family (npd!dad, golden child!brother, scapegoat!me), pet loss, suicidal thoughts, dissociation, just overall this is really heavy but i need to put it somewhere

past 30-ish hours or so for me have been:

drive home to have dinner with family (last minute, dad "forgot" to invite me. nothing's wrong except dad's harassing a food service worker over the phone and mom still likes pro-cop shows and brother is still a little selfish (you know, typical Man Who Lacks Empathy shit). and he's leaving tomorrow and i won't see him for months, and i'll miss him even though he's being momentarily difficult.

play my old piano. momentarily wish i still lived at home, until i remember why i can't ever again.

feel guilty for talking about my life for a few seconds, when the rest of the dinner conversation has been about my brother (per usual.) redirect the focus back to him out of crippling guilt.

sit with him after dinner. don't know whether to laugh or cry when he sends me a trauma instagram reel (themes of "there's something wrong with me", "no one knows how i really feel", hating life, hating growing older.) realize for the first time maybe he thinks and feels these things too, despite him being my opposite in the family system (he's the favorite child, i'm the scapegoat.) empathy grows for him. realization grows (as it has been for months) that in some ways he's my best friend, and the only other person who knows what it was like to be raised in that house. send him a girl/childhood slideshow on tiktok in return. watch as he tries to cover his recognition, his relating to it, his hurt that is more like mine than i ever knew. half-jokingly but mostly genuinely beg him to get therapy.

miss my dog. wonder if it's normal for me to still grieve her like this, a year and a half later.

advocate for my needs in a tiny, insignificant way. immediately feel sick with guilt about it, which lasts for the rest of the night. resist the urge to take it back and let the fawn response do its thing.

leave early. resist the urge to tell each of them that i love them a few extra times, because i love them still. i love them so much it hurts. feel silly walking out the door with "i love you's" still caught in my mouth. tell myself i'm too sentimental and make everything weird.

cry the whole drive home to sun bleached flies and letter to an old poet. think about swerving off the freeway, jokingly at first until it's not anymore. scare myself with how hard i'm crying, how blurry my eyes are from my tears, the things i'm thinking about doing to myself. consider pulling over onto the shoulder. decide not to, telling myself i'd look stupid and pathetic.

suck it up. get it together. remind myself what and who i live for. tell myself out loud that it gets better, even though my words come out more like a plead to god.

drive past the fire station as i near home. momentarily think about turning into the parking lot and telling the firefighters outside taking their break that i'm thinking about killing myself. realize how stupid i'd look. skip the turn and make it home instead.

walk through the door and cat is waiting for me like she always is. sit on the floor in my shoes and dissociate. come back to the feeling of my cat purring against me, even though i can't hear anything.

remove my makeup, wash my face. feel as my body adjusts to being in a safe space in real time. crawl into bed.

sleep through the night, and most of the next day.

(btw please don't worry about me, safety wise i'm okay now; i have crisis management in place and therapy on wednesday lol)

[socialbunny]

5, 10, 13, 17, 20, 33, 40 about gay losers, sorry if it's too many i understandably couldn't stop 🫡

(twirls my hair very normally and cutely but looks like this)

Who screams and who kills the spider?

Dirk always has Raid on deck, he's quick to try and kill any fucking bug he finds in his house. I don’t think he’d scream or anything unless it was crawling on him or something, but he’s also not gonna get bug shit on his shoes you know? Dustin’s the kind of weirdo who tries to capture and release the spider back into the wild or whatever 😭 but also I think they (Dustin mainly) would have a pet tarantula and a pet lizard, so they never really have insects inside their house.

What are their love languages?

Definitely physical touch as a big one for Dustin!! He loves kissing and hugging and cuddling and just being around his partner. He tries to do that aloof shit and be “normal”,  but when he loves someone he puts his all in and becomes mushy and lovey-dovey and gay (he has attachment issues). Also gift giving and quality time for him as well, but I think all that goes hand-in-hand.

Dirk’s is acts of service. He loves doing small things for his partner, and loves taking care of people. Being with Dustin, he learns how to show it in a healthy, non-overbearing way that is reciprocated :)

What's their age and height difference?

Dirk’s only a couple of months older than him (like about half a year). In this story I was writing (and then everything else I do, I guess), they’re in a perpetual state of being 18 and 17, which sucks for them 😭.

And they're both manlets in my mind (the Dreamer’s are a short family to me), but Dirk is a little fatter than him. Let’s say that Dirk is 5’5 and Dustin is 5’7 because I might change it I’m always changing shit.

Who made the first move? What was it?

Honestly this one is so complicated because it could be either or and it depends on the direction I take their relationship. I think they’re always in a state of  “what’s known doesn’t have to be explained” mindset, like they spend basically everyday together and live together, they’re basically a couple in everything but name. I feel like they would both be a little anxious to make the first move, Dustin because of his internalized homophobia/attachment issues/fear of rejection, and Dirk because he doesn’t want to ‘force’ Dustin to talk about anything he’s not ready to talk about, and he also doesn’t want him to deflect and turn his feelings around on him. But after basically 50 first dates with someone you have to bite the fucking bullet and kiss them it’s just stupid not to (I think Dustin would try and hype himself up to kiss him but would pussy out 🙄 it's tiring after awhile)

Do they want kids? If so, who initiated the question about having them?

Ohhhh definitely they both want kids!! Dustin wants a big family like his mom wanted, he’s using the 3 dogs and 1 cat and lizard and tarantula they have as a placeholder for his children until both he and Dirk are (financially) stable enough to have kids, but he’s being totally normal about it until then (has a long list of baby names on deck, has his baby clothes and toys in storage somewhere, is READY to be such an active dad and do everything with his kids and be involved with everything!!! and he’s ready to be a sexy pta dilf too) 

What do their families think of their partner?

Darren likes Dustin a lot actually! To Darren, Dustin and Lilith are so similar, he’s like 👀 to Dirk’s taste in partners. But anyways I think Dustin and Darren mesh well, Darren is chill and I think he would inspire Dustin to build his interest in drawing.

I’ve never thought about Dirk meeting Brandi which is so crazy 😭😭😭 But Brandi thinks Dirk is a sweetie, she just wonders how her son pulls seemingly normal people (but he's doing better than she was at his age so she can't talk). Also he plays minecraft and roblox with Beau :3 I think Beau takes a minute to warm up to Dirk when he realizes that his brother ‘likes-likes’ him and that Angela hasn’t came over to see him lately, and he tries to sus Dirk out and he's like:

Beau: What do you want with my brother what’s wrong with you?

Dirk: ? There’s nothing wrong with me I’m normal

Beau: 

Do they have any jealous tendencies over each other?

In the beginning before their relationship is firmly established they both harbor a little unjustified jealousy towards each other, because they’re together but not together and they never clarify what they actually are, but when they actually become boyfriends they both chill out and trust the other <3

thank u nixie for letting me indulge in my gay losers obsession again

[otemporanerys]

Definitely gimme the ⭐️ on Interregnum please!! <3

Doing some Director's Commentary, please ask me about my fics

The thing about species swap is, it's always been a bitch and a half to write. The first draft of what eventually became Cultural Exchange was supposed to go into ME2. Where it was meant to end, I have no idea, but the Word document I have ends when he's about to kill Sidonis at around 11k.* Eventually I decide, "OK, I'm just going to write the ME1 version of this fic, get this idea out of my head, leave it there." Ha. Anyway, the two things I really liked about the old draft of Cultural Exchange that won't make the cut for the final story are almost verbatim included in Interregnum, and those are 1. the conversation he has with his father on Arcturus where his dad tells him he'll never be a Spectre and 2. the initial flirtation with Lisanthe, the asari bartender. I like both of these scenes a lot, and I figured out a way to incorporate the Castor conversation in Life Behind Enemy Lines (the ME2 fic) but I couldn't get Lisanthe in there, which is a shame because I really like her.

Eventually it gets to a point where structurally, I can't keep the Castor conversation in LBEL anymore, so I think "why don't we do a Gareth standalone in between ME1 and ME2?"** Initial framing device was five stages of grief, kind of a focus on Gareth's deteriorating mental health, which is where all the smoking comes from. (It was supposed to be more explicitly self-medication; I personally think it works better as subtext.) At this point it's called Black Dog. That version doesn't work, so I put it to the side. Later, prompted by a question about service histories in the Dragon Effect Discord, and I start to think about Gareth's time in the Marines, and I figure out that he's probably not old enough to have been on Elysium, but he is the right age to have been on Torfan. Following a bit of discussion with @n0rmandysr1 (thank you), I decide he's a new sniper, posted on the outside of the compound, picking off anyone who's fleeing. I do a fuckton of research on snipers, write half a fic (Butcher Boy, if anyone's curious) actually following what he does on Torfan, aaaaaand... it doesn't work. Still, not to worry - I've got three good solid chapter ideas for Interregnum (I picked that title approximately five seconds before posting it) - 2183, the bonding with his sister and finding out Shepherd's dead; 2184, hooking up with Lis and getting emo over Shepherd; and 2185, the last stand on Omega and realising Shepherd's alive (and he loves her). All gravy, I'm not quite finished drafting chapter 3 but I hit post on chapter 1. Then I realise - what if Torfan is about his dad? Fucking hell, back to the drawing board. So that's why a fic I was planning on throwing up over the course of three weeks took nearly two months. Three other points: 1. Thank you to @misseffect and @deustiel without whose unbridled enthusiasm I would never have gotten this far. Success has many fathers and an AU has many cheerleaders, thanks to @drumsandwaves among many others 2. I love Gareth's mom so fucking much I could dedicate a whole other post to her 3. a lot of IR is drawn from my own life. I quit smoking two years ago and I still fucking miss it, and I probably have my older brother to thank for a key part of Gareth's backstory. He actually wanted to go to the US Naval Academy in Annapolis, for a while, which I have Gareth drop out of. Other fun facts from that experience will come into play, probably after LBEL.

*In this version of the fic, Gareth turns Shepherd down at Ilos, and they don't hook up until later on in ME2. I don't want to spoil it because it's still a pretty pivotal moment in LBEL.

**This is not the first time I thought about doing another entry in species swap before embarking on the ME2 longfic - I actually started drafting a Joker/EDI piece set in ME3 which would kind of be a teaser for it, but it just hasn't worked out. You can see why it took me 10 months to get back to the AU.

[finiteuniverse13]

Clay Spenser; Son of Poseidon

Together with @jayhalsteadfan-2417, we made a wonderful AU spawned from me Really, Really liking the idea of Clay with a 7-foot trident.

Clay (& Percy)

Clay is a son of Poseidon – but was only claimed after the events of PJ&The Last Olympian.

Clay’s trident is stored in a bullet necklace because if riptide can be a pen and a dragon can be a suitcase, a sword can be a bullet necklace.

His sword is in a bracelet that Percy gave him and that Charles Beckendorf forged to make magical.

Clay and Percy doing hand to hand combat together.

Clay showing up at Sally’s apartment to see Percy and he is super tired and wants to nap.

Sally, Annabeth and Percy being the ones waiting at the end of deployment.

Clay calling Sally “mom”.

Clay interrogating Paul when he and Sally started dating.

Clay helping campers with their homework.

Clay helping with the Prophecies and giving tips for combat situations.

Jason Grace being mistaken for Clay's brother.

Campfire and Clay has a good singing voice.

Clay has a room in Sally’s apartment, and he stays over after deployment.

Percy and Sally showing up after Clay’s deployment, so he has someone there.

Clay calling Percy “little bro”.

Clay and Percy having movie nights and fall asleep on each other.

Clay and Percy fighting monsters together.

Someone picks on Percy and clay finds out when Percy comes home covered in Bruises and cuts.

“Percy what the hell happened; I need names now”.

Clay showing up at Percy’s school for a sibling day.

Clay causing a tornado.

Clay and Percy video chat while Clay is on deployment.

Poseidon having to be like "yeah so I also broke that 'no Big Three kids' rule that other time too" to Zeus

Clay showing up to help with Gaea.

Clay, showing up to battles with a celestial bronze sniper rifle: I'm not here to mess around!

Clay helping kids get to Lupa when he was stationed in Cali.

Clay comes back covered in gold dust.

Clay using a trident in a battle.

Percy meeting Ash Spencer

Sally meeting Ash Spenser. She'd kick his ass into the next century.

Percy staying over at Clay’s apartment.

Clay meeting Annabeth and ribbing Percy about her.

Clay is an overprotective older brother with Percy so when quests come up, he volunteers to help him out a bit.

Clay getting various SEAL teams to check up on quests to make sure they're all alright.

Clay being Percy’s guardian when Sally and Paul go on their honeymoon.

Clay’s in the arena at camp as soon as the sun comes up and trains for hours on end.

Cerberus (3 heads) is protective of Clay.

Clay at the campfire and is leading different songs around the fire.

A long op (like Mexico) in a monster-infested area and every couple of days Clay grabs his trident and sword and goes monster killing for a couple hours.

One time Clay was stressed out he accidentally flooded the dining hall.

Clay teaching Percy tricks and techniques with water manipulation and vice versa.

Clay finding out about Percy getting kidnapped and going missing.

Percy showing up at base covered in blood and dirt from a battle with a hydra.

Percy and Clay sword fighting in the base’s gym.

Poseidon showing up and both drop to their knees.

Percy and Clay going fishing with Jason. And a sea monster shows up and It Goes Down.

Clay runs out of monster bullets and instead starts going wild with his trident.

"I'm out of ammo! Going, uh, trident?" "Trident?" a Trident flies through the air and lands in the chest of an approaching monster, turning it to dust "Bravo Six has gone Trident, understood".

Whenever Clay is bored, he does fancy spins with his trident and scares everyone around him.

Clay looking calm but behind him a water fountain explodes.

Clay’s bunk is across from Percy’s at camp.

Clay’s bunk is a "borrowed" hammock from his cage on base.

Clay and Percy both love to kill the minotaur. They each have one of the horns of the same minotaur.

Clay’s hangs in his cage on base.

Clay runs out of bullets and just yeets a trident across the battlefield.

Clay wasn't claimed during his time at camp, so he basically adopted all the Hermes/unclaimed kids.

The Stroll twins go between him being their older brother or "Uncle Clay".

Clay graduating Green Team and going straight to Olympus to tell Poseidon.

Clay putting Ares kids in their place when he is at camp.

Bravo with Demigods

Blackburn is a son of Athena.

Blackburn and Clay having conversations in Ancient Greek.

Clay dragging Bravo to camp for a day.

Trent and Jason nearly pass out when they see the lava wall.

Nico would LOVE Cerberus.

Cerberus is a descendant of Cerberus.

Bravo watching a game of Capture the Flag.

Bravo and Blackjack

Clay comes in with a blue lunchbox and nobody makes fun of him in case they invoke Sally's wrath.

Clay having blue cookies in that lunchbox.

Clay swearing in Ancient Greek on the battlefield with Bravo.

Percy has a swimming competition and Bravo go and watch him.

DEVGRU adopting Percy as their little brother's little brother. Aka Little Brother2

Percy having a father-son relationship with Jason.

Jason and Ray giving Paul parenting tips.

Clay and Percy playing video games together.

Percy and Emma meeting and Percy is protective of her.

Clay Causing an earthquake with Bravo team.

Paul and Sally are busy and Jason shows up at Parent's Evening

Jason is a good uncle and is proud of Percy.

When Percy's dyslexia is bad he sends a photo of the textbook and Bravo sends a voice message of them reading it out loud.

Trent helping with his Health homework.

Percy asking ray and Jason for date ideas.

Percy showing up at base coved in blood and freaks out Bravo.

Trent would probably cry with joy when he discovers Ambrosia being a quick heal thing for Clay (and Blackburn, but that’s way less likely).

Brock would Lose His Mind meeting those metal guard dogs that Reyna has.

Bravo rocking up to the battles and helping.

Bravo meeting a monster on an op and Clay summons his weapons and just Goes To Town killing this monster.

Clay just YEETS a trident at some Tango and bravo has their jaws on the ground.

Percy and Clay basically doing adoptions for the orphaned half-bloods in the SEALs.

He introduces orphan half-bloods to various service members who can't/won't have babies but want children and/or want to adopt.

Percy Iris Messages Clay after a nightmare and Clay is out with Bravo and they all hear him crying.

Bravo can all see through the mist so they know about the monsters.

Bravo at Camp Half-Blood and hanging out in the Poseidon cabin for the nights, Percy has a nightmare and wakes them by accident.

Percy and Clay practice fight manoeuvres together and Bravo watches them train together.

Bravo leading “In the navy” at the campfire and trying not to crack up.

Younger campers asking for stories and bravo tell one's that are highly edited for security reasons.

Clay teaching Bravo campfire songs during deployment.

Bravo making tributes to various gods/goddesses of war/strategy before going on an op.

Blackburn and Clay racing up the lava wall.

Bravo stumble upon an entrance to hell and Clay is pulling them out.

Clay goes "Oh yeah, the Amazonians run Amazon" any nobody can tell if he's joking or not (he's serious)

Annabeth and Blackburn being Wholesome Sibling Goals.

Clay takes on a cyclops and gets smashed up a little bit and Bravo is panicking.

Bravo has monster-killing bullets for any situation that happens.

Sally bringing Bravo blue food for BBQs.

Clay comes to base one day covered in dust with a minotaur horn in hand going "You will not BELIEVE the day I'm having”.

Blackburn just hands him some Ambrosia because Clay got a little cut up.

“My baby brother started another war so you guys wanna help out?“

Trent getting a monster killing RPG

Metal has Ares' blessing.

Ares appears and everyone kneels except for Metal and Percy, Percy because he's Percy Jackson and Metal because they're bros.

Trent is Will’s mother’s brother.

Stuck between "MY NEPHEW IS A DEMIGOD? " and "YOU HAD A CHILD WITH A **GOD**????".

Blackburn and Clay sword fighting

Clay fighting Hercules in the arena while Bravo watches.

When Clay's sad Bravo does their best at blue pancakes to cheer him up (it normally end in disaster)

Brock loves O'Leary.

Percy having a group of uncles that have his back when he needs it.

Trent teaching Apollo kids medical procedures.

Bravo & Half-blood friendships:

Frank and Sonny

Annabeth and Lisa

Trent and Will

Mandy and Piper

Sonny and Leo

Lisa and Hazel

Metal and Clarisse

Ray and Chiron

Lisa and Reyna

Reyna and Jason

[poisonedapples]

Roman Gets Help 1/5: Bad Nights

Part One: Virgil

Part Summary: Roman is always trying to make his anxiety more manageable with a bunch of different tactics. But a disorder is a disorder, and some days are worse than others. But at least his best friend Virgil is around to help.

Part of the Service Dog AU!

Pairings: Platonic Prinxiety

Warnings: Past panic attacks, medication, anxiety, Remus making poop jokes because he’s Remus, swearing and food mentions

Word Count: 2,751

Taglist: @hold-our-destiny @pricklyfish777 @romansleftshoulderpad

Notes: Cornybird on Ao3 deserves Many Squishmallows for editing so much of my stuff, including this. So send visual squishmallow vibes to her, she deserves it

Virgil really should have known something was weird when Roman didn’t text back.

The two had made plans during lunch to meet up at Roman’s house so he could help with Virgil’s Spanish homework. Roman was infinitely better with language stuff than Virgil could ever dream to be, and even when the work was done, it was always nice to hang out in his room and get away from his wild parents every once in a while. But since Roman left school early and Virgil had to stay after for band practice, he hadn’t heard or seen Roman in a while.

That in itself wasn’t weird, though. What was weird was that when Virgil texted him that he was on his way, Roman didn’t respond. Not even with an emoji reaction or a simple ‘okay’. But even then, what was even weirder was that Virgil was right outside his door, texting Roman to open it for him, and he still wasn’t responding.

Virgil checked the last three messages he sent to Roman’s phone. All of them were marked as delivered but not read, which was also very concerning. What could Roman be doing that he hadn’t checked his phone in thirty minutes? Virgil got anxious when he didn’t read messages immediately, let alone waiting half an hour.

Virgil sent him one last text before putting his phone away. You there? I’m outside.

No response. Virgil knocked on the door and shoved his hands in his pockets, waiting and shifting on his feet for someone to open the door. After a couple minutes, he started to think Roman had just forgotten.

However, a slight spark of hope rose up in him at the sound of the front door opening. But when Virgil looked up from his shoes to the person at the door, he felt his shoulders sag.

It wasn’t Roman who had opened the door. There was no shy and apologetic smile with Princess right under his feet. Instead, it was his bastard brother in ripped jeans and a green tank top, blowing bubblegum like a bully in a 90s Nickelodeon show.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite emo! What brings you here, Raven Way?” Remus asked, leaning on the door frame with a cocky smile.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “You’ve already used that one.”

“It’s my favorite nickname for you. It’s the perfect brand of insulting. It has spice to it.”

“I’m glad you’re entertained then. Is Roman out somewhere?”

Remus cocked an eyebrow. “No, he’s been up in his room. Last I checked he was as passed out as a corpse.”

“Okay...can I come in then?”

Remus smiled and opened the door for Virgil, taking a bow as he stepped inside. Virgil rolled his eyes again. This guy is so fucking weird. “You know where his room and the shitter is. Just follow the trail of dog hair to his royal highness.”

“You terrify me, Remus.”

“Good! That’s the aesthetic I’m going for. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a bigass thing of chili dip in the fridge that may or may not be expired. We’ll see!” Virgil’s eyes narrowed as Remus skipped back to the kitchen and right to the fridge, but he really didn’t want to be around for that mess. Instead, Virgil went upstairs and turned left to Roman’s room, the colorful Disney decorations covering his door. Virgil knocked twice, but when met with no answer, he came inside anyway.

The first thing Virgil noticed was the lights. The windows and blinds were shut tight so no sunlight could get through while Roman’s fairy lights around his room were turned on. The soft twinkling gave the room a feeling of calmness, but the sight on the bed was more concerning than tranquil. Princess was sat down on top of the bed comforter with two arms wrapped around her, Roman blending in with the sheets he was under as he shoved his face in his dog’s fur. At least she didn’t seem to mind.

Roman looked up at the sound of the door opening. Virgil felt his heart sink when he saw the tear streaks down his face and his messed up hair, but Roman tried his best to respond to Virgil anyway. “Hey…”

Virgil took off his shoes and threw his backpack onto the floor next to the door. “Hey, dude. You look like shit.”

Roman made a strange huff sound, probably meant to be a laugh. “Thanks.”

He buried his face back into Princess’ fur, and Virgil felt that pang of worry grow stronger. He moved to the other side of the bed, sitting alongside Roman and his pile of blankets and pillows. “You okay?”

Roman shrugged. “I’m doing better.”

“What happened?”

“Panic attack.”

Virgil sucked the air through his teeth as a way to say yikes. “Seems like it was a pretty bad one.”

Princess rolled over onto Roman’s chest, and Roman cuddled even closer than what Virgil thought was possible. He looked so small when he did that. “Worse than usual.”

“Do you know what caused it?”

“No. Sometimes it just happens.” Roman kissed the top of Princess’ head. “Anxiety just...does that.”

“Yeah, I get it. Trust me, out of everyone you know, I’d probably be the one to understand it the most.”

“...Yeah.”

An awkward silence fell between the two of them. Virgil didn’t actually know what to do when Roman was like this. He’s stopped him from having panic attacks in the past, but he’d never seen him look this bad. Roman was curled in on himself under the covers, gripping onto Princess for dear life in an attempt to soothe himself. His pile of stuffed animals usually spread around the bed were now in a giant pile around his body, and his weighted blanket poked out from under the comforter too. It looked like he was trying his hardest to get comfortable, and Virgil didn’t know what else he could do. A distraction? A nap?

Well, only one way to find out.

Virgil took a deep breath in. “...Is there any way I can help?”

Roman shrugged again. “Not that I know.”

“Did you take a nap? That usually helps me the most.”

“I just woke up. My meds knocked me out.”

“Your meds?”

Roman took a pill bottle from his nightstand and showed it to Virgil. He read the confusing label that all medicine bottles have, but the name of the pills was long and unfamiliar in Virgil’s mind. Roman placed them back once Virgil got a good look and curled in on himself more. “Panic attack meds. They help you calm down really quick when you’re having an attack. They always put me to sleep after. Remus likes to call them my tranquilizer dart.”

Virgil snorted. “I mean...accurate name. I’ve just never seen you with those before.”

“I only take them on bad days. My therapist warned me about how I shouldn’t take them after every panic attack, because then I’ll never learn how to deal with them on my own, and I might get addicted. Which I’d rather not.”

“Yeah, I know about the addiction thing. I used to be on anti-anxiety until last year.”

Roman tilted his head up to look at Virgil for the first time. “Really?”

“Yup. I got eased off them after a while, though. Now I just take an antidepressant, which honestly isn’t much. I think everyone in our friend group is on some kind of meds.”

“...Patton?” Roman asked.

“Patton’s one depressed mother fucker. I say that out of love, but yes, he’s also on antidepressants.”

“And Logan?”

“...Dude. Epilepsy.”

Roman let out a silent oh. “...I forgot you take meds for that.”

“Our brains are fucked up and we accept this.”

Roman flashed a small smile but didn’t respond. After that, the two had fell silent as Virgil awkwardly patted a beat on his leg to put his nervous fidgeting to use.

What do you do for someone getting out of a panic attack? It was obvious Roman wasn’t in a talking mood, but it was killing him inside to just...sit there while he looked so helpless. But he’d never had to deal with this with a friend before. The worst he’d dealt with were Patton’s bad depression days, and those had nothing on how horrible Roman looked right now. And if he already took a nap...what else were you supposed to do after a panic attack?

Virgil thought back to his own experiences. Of course, Virgil’s anxiety was nothing compared to Roman’s, but it was better than nothing. And comfort worked no matter how bad you felt, even if it was only a little.

He thought back to his own parents. How his mom would hold him and let him cry into his shoulder if he needed to, but that was too awkward for him to do with Roman. His dad would let him curl up and watch him play games on the console, which could maybe work…

...Then Virgil remembered another thing his mom did once after one of his worst panic attacks. It might be a bit embarrassing because of intimacy, but it would help Roman feel better. And that’s all that matters.

“I’m gonna go get some stuff, okay?” Virgil said, “You stay right here.”

Roman hummed. “Wasn’t planning on going anywhere, but okay.”

With that, Virgil hopped out of Roman’s bed and left the bedroom.

First, he needed a water bottle. Roman probably had some water when he took his meds, but it likely wasn’t enough to stop a headache after all the crying. Virgil went downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. While he was there, he looked through the rest of the fridge and noticed that there was no container of chili dip in there anymore. Gross.

Expired chili dip aside, he would need a face rag as well. Virgil went through a hallway on the first floor to the older bathroom downstairs, looking through the drawers for a decent cloth. A small one was hidden in the back of the drawer with some bottles of face wash and lotion, so Virgil grabbed that and took a mental note to put it back later. He stood in front of the faucet and stared at it for a while.

Was cold or hot water better for getting tears off someone’s face? Warm water seemed like it’d be more comfortable, but cold water could also be more refreshing. He thought about the possibilities for a while and settled on warm based on his own preferences, turning the hot and cold handles to where the water was only slightly warm, wetting a side of the cloth then turning the faucet off.

Before he left the bathroom, Virgil grabbed a couple squares of toilet paper and then headed out the door. He was back in Roman’s room not even five minutes later, setting his stuff on the nightstand for a second as he grabbed his DS from his bag and turned it on. Roman glanced up from the bed with a confused look, but didn’t say anything. Virgil came back next to the bed and motioned for Roman to move to the middle. Reluctantly, and with some shifting of Princess still at his side, Roman did so.

Virgil sat in Roman’s old spot and grabbed the wad of toilet paper. “Here, sit up and blow your nose. The last thing you need right now is more breathing problems.”

Roman grunted as she shimmied out from under his weighted blanket to sit up against the headboard of his bed. He took the toilet paper from Virgil and blew. “...Thanks.”

“No problem. Now just stick with me for this next part, because I’m not good with touchy-touchy shit, so this’ll be a little awkward.”

Roman gave Virgil a confused look, but he didn’t say anything. He grabbed the damp cloth and silently tilted Roman’s head to face him. Virgil tentatively lifted the cloth to his face and wiped the tears from under his eyes, the gesture mixed with the warm water making Roman hum in content. Virgil didn’t acknowledge what was happening, he just wiped off his friend’s face, flipping to the dry part of the cloth to dry him off after.

“There. That should help you feel less gross, anyway.”

“Thanks...it helped.”

“Yeah, don’t mention it.” Virgil set the cloth to the side and handed Roman the water bottle. “And drink this, it’ll help with that nasty headache you probably have.”

Roman twisted the cap open and chugged the bottle, finishing half of it in record speed before putting it down again. Virgil could tell by how fast he chugged it that his head was probably throbbing.

“Feeling a little better now?” Roman nodded. “Wanna watch me play Harvest Moon until you probably pass out again?”

He nodded again, Virgil scooting closer to him so Roman could place his head on his shoulder as he watched. His hand combed through Princess’ fur as Princess trapped the other under her paw to lick. Most people would think it was gross, but considering licking was one of her grounding techniques, he was desensitized to it by now. “Which one do you have?”

“A New Beginning. I’ll show you all my cows because they’re bomb as fuck. My first cow is named Oven and I have a baby one named Chaos.”

Roman laughed as Virgil started up the game. “Awesome. You play it often?”

“Eh, sometimes. It’s not my favorite game, but I carry it with me because it’s good for calming anxiety down. All I gotta do is feed my animals and mine and shit. Nothing else matters, you know?”

Roman nodded as best he could from Virgil’s shoulder. Virgil loaded up his save file and started to show Roman around his farm, mostly skipping the crops and going straight to the pets and farm animals with the most ridiculous names Virgil could get away with using only six letters. Virgil chatted away about his game and read all the speech bubbles out loud, showing off his wife who he swears he married platonically since his character was obviously gay and talking about his rivalry with the hair stylist. Roman wasn’t responding much, just a few hums and little laughs here and there, but Virgil didn’t mind. So long as his friend was feeling better, that was all that mattered.

A while later, Virgil was baking desserts for a contest being held in town when he spoke up again. “I’m shit at cooking good stuff in this game, but I can make some neat pancakes, apparently. I’m gonna make this contest my bitch.”

There was no response. That wasn’t very strange in itself, but usually when Virgil sweared, Roman at least made a small huff of a laugh from his shoulder. But this time, he was completely quiet. Virgil looked over at his shoulder when he almost awwww’ed out loud.

Roman had fallen back asleep, his mouth open slightly with his arms cuddling Princess extra close as she seemed to relax alongside him. He was adorable, and in a moment of softness that Virgil would deny to the end of his days, he helped Roman to lay back in bed and brushed the hair out of his face. Roman still clung slightly to him even as he slept, so Virgil accepted his fate and moved to curl up alongside him, continuing his game with a smile on his face.

“Your sleep schedule is gonna be absolutely fucked, dude.” Virgil said. There was no response, obviously, and Virgil didn’t talk to his sleeping friend after that. He just took a mental note to tell his parents he was staying the night before it got too late and kept caring for his farm.

Maybe later he’d wake Roman up and get him some dinner, letting him recharge and take a shower before they actually had to go to bed. He’d be too awake to actually sleep at first, but the company of his friend and the comfort of his dog would keep him calm through that, even when Roman hated being awake past eleven. Patton may even find out and tease Virgil about having a heart after all, which Virgil would deny until the end of his days. But his edgy reputation wasn’t what mattered right now.

Instead, Virgil smiled and cuddled closer as Roman slept peacefully.

[dany-is-my-queen]

Born To Be Yours | Part VI

Sansa Stark x Fem! Baratheon! Reader (Daenerys Targaryen x Fem! Baratheon! Reader eventually)

Season 1-8

Word count: 1,993

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

The Hound was fighting an unarmed opponent atop the Walls of the Red Keep during a tourney to celebrate your brother’s nameday. He knocked his shield away and the man fell hard into the courtyard below.

You were seated next to Myrcella, Sansa was on the opposite edge, faking smiles to keep the King pleased. You grew closer and closer with each day that passes, so as your feelings.

“Well struck, Dog!” He said out loud.

“Did you like that?” He turned to Sansa. You rolled your eyes.

“It was a well struck, your grace.” She replied.

“I already said it was a well struck.”

She waited a few seconds to confirm. “Yes, your grace.”

“Who’s next?”

“Lothor Brune, freerider in the service of Lord Baelish. Ser Dontos the Red of House Hollard.” The announcer exclaimed. The last one didn’t appear to be in his five senses. Joffrey gestured him to have more wine, Ser Meryn Trant and another Kingsguard began to pour the liquid down the funnel and the poor knight gurgled and struggled to continue drinking.

“You can’t!” Sansa suddenly shouted before the man collapsed.

“What did you say? Did you say I can’t?”

“I only meant... it would be bad luck to kill a man on your name day.”

“What kind of stupid peasant’s superstition...”

“The girl is right.” Sandor tossed.

“Yes, she is. You’ll reap what you sow on your nameday.” You added.

“He’ll make such a better fool than a knight. He doesn’t deserve the mercy of a quick death.” How kind of the northerner to save the life of someone she doesn’t even know. Those small actions make you admire her.

“Did you hear my lady, Ser Dontos? From now on you’ll be my new fool!”

“Thank you, your grace. And you, my lady, thank you.” They took him away.

“Beloved nephew.” Your uncle’s voice made you instantly smile. He was accompanied by multiple men.

“We’ve looked for you on the battlefield. Joffrey sat down. “You where nowhere to be found.”

“I was here, ruling the Kingdoms.” You almost sneer.

“What a fine job you’ve done.” He jokingly said.

“My dear niece! You look older and prettier.” He kissed your forehead. You grinned.

“You look younger and more handsome” He winked.

“Look at you!” He smiled at your sister. “More beautiful than ever.”

“And you! You are going to be bigger than the Hound, but much better looking.” The three of you laughed.

“We’ve heard you were dead.” Joffrey unconcernedly said.

“I’m glad you are not dead.” The little princess assured.

“We’ve missed you. We have to catch up.” He nodded towards you.

“And we will. Death is so boring, especially now with so much excitement in the world.” He looked at Sansa. “My lady, I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Her loss? Her father was a confessed traitor!” The blond angrily screamed.

“But still her father. Surely having recently lost your own you can sympathize.” Not his, but yours. You closed your eyes before the grief took over you.

“My father was a traitor. My mother and brother are traitors too. I am loyal to my beloved Joffrey.” All she can do is pretend and say the right words. The loathe she had for him was only getting bigger.

“Of course you are.” Tyrion smirked sympathetically. The redhead looked your way and you gave her a sweet smile.

He left the tent with his group of people ignoring the King’s questions. It’s so good to have your favorite uncle back. You were still concerned about Jaime. Will the Starks trade him for Sansa? It was sure that Robb was not going to come to the capital. Arya was still missing.

You wanted her to be reunited with her family. The other part of you was shattering at the thought of her leaving. If there was an opportunity you would definitely support her, after all, what mattered to you was her safety and happiness, you tried to provide both but nothing can really fill that hole. Not with Joffrey tormenting her. You would be sad but relieved if she left, you couldn’t be selfish.

“Walk with me, my lady.” You offered your arm to Sansa what she gladly accepted.

“Where are we going?”

“I’m going to steal you.” You quipped and saw she blushed a little. “Would you fancy visiting the streets of the city?”

“Yes, I’d love to.” Two soldiers were accompanying you keeping their distance.

“I remember when I used to wander around the castle in Winterfell. They were all warm to each other.” She seemed to recalled.

“The people who live here... some are happy and some are not. They don’t have enough resources to subsist. They manage to survive.” You gave silver and gold coins to the elder and children who roamed.

“My mother used to tell me... humility makes people great. Envy and selfishness makes them small.”

“And she’s right.” You halted in the market. Spotting the tent you usually go to. They make beautiful things. Such as purses, necklaces, bracelets, etc. They are not made of the finest materials but they are nice and these merchants work really hard.

“Princess Y/N! You honor me with your presence.” The black-haired woman said, a friend of yours.

“Hello, Addy. What did you bring today?

“I have these pins. And the two lions you have it made.” She showed you the wood pieces with flawless details.

“Do you like them, Sansa? Choose the ones you want”

“For my siblings and my mother.” She picked five wolf brooches.

“Thank you very much. Say hello to little Cass. And remember, anything she or the other kids on the orphanage need, tell me.” Addy nodded with gratitude and bowed.

“It’s very generous what you do for them. You are truly an angel.” The lady smiled warmly.

“I know being in the Red Keep can be suffocating. I’ll get you out of there anytime I get the chance.”

“You are my hero.” You part ways once you entered the big castle. You headed to your uncle’s new room.

“The Hand of the King... I didn’t see that coming.” He waved at you.

“Me neither, sweet niece. It’s so good to see you! How is everything in here? I just had a meeting with the council. The summer is over. Your mother was quite angry with the fact I’m the Hand in my father’s stead. She brought this on herself. The North has risen up against us when your moron brother called for Ned Stark’s head.”

“I tried to stop him. It was useless. He thinks he owns the world now, he is not ruling cautiously, I fear for my siblings life, for everyone’s life.”

“Luckily I’m here to supervise his moves. Advise him. Save the city. Not as easy as it sounds I’m afraid.”

“Did you stayed out of trouble?” You asked him well knowing the answer.

“Well... I pissed out in the edge of the Wall. I slept in a sky cell. Lady Arryn almost sentenced me to die. I fought with the hill tributes. So many adventures.” You raised an eyebrow.

“Oh I see, that must have been a lot of fun.” Both of you laughed.

“You can’t imagine.”

It has been an unsteady week. Being with little Tommen and Myrcella has been a distraction from the incoming war you’re dealing with. Renly and Stannis proclaimed themselves Kings. You like to be up to date, so you talk with your mother about these matters.

“My uncles... they’re going to get here anytime soon. We have to be prepared.”

“They have no claim. Let them try. We’ll kick them off the moment they set foot on the shores.” Cersei declared dryly.

“I’ve heard some... disturbing rumors about-“

“You believe them?”

“Absolutely not. I’m just curious.” You shrugged.

“Everyone’s intention is to tear our family apart. Destroy us from within. This gossip is just feeding those who don’t want your brother on the throne.” And you said nothing more.

“You’re losing the people, do you hear me?” Tyrion tried to make her listen.

“The people, you think I care?”

“You should.” You told her, annoyed by her apathy.

“Yes. You might find it difficult to rule over millions who want you dead. Half the city will starve when winter comes. The other half will plot to overthrow you. And your gold-plated thugs just gave them the rallying cry, “The Queen Slaughter babies.” She remained silent. “You don’t even have the decency to deny it.” You scowled. “It wasn’t you who gave the order, was it? Joffrey didn’t even tell you. Or did he? I imagine that would be even worse.” Your uncle growled.

“He did what needed to be done!”

“No. They were innocent. What’s wrong with you? What kind of King is he becoming? You objected.

“You don’t even know who they were, Y/N. This is what ruling is! Lying on a bed of weeds, ripping them out by the root one by one before they strangle you in your sleep.”

“I’m no king, but I think there’s more ruling than that.”

“You’ve never taken it seriously. It’s all fallen on me.”

“As has Jaime repeatedly. According to Stannis Baratheon.” You averted your eyes.

“How dare you say that kind of filthy lies in front of my daughter!” The Queen Regent gave him a withering look. “You’ve always been funny. But none of your jokes will ever match the first one, will they? You remember... when you ripped my mother, open your way out of her and she bled to death.” It hurt to see the look of your uncle’s face.

“She was my mother too.”

“Now she’s gone, for the sake of you. There’s no bigger joke in the world than that.” She stormed out, you followed her.

“You shouldn’t be so cruel with my uncle. If I had lost you when either Myr or Tom were born I would never blame them. I know it must have been pretty hard growing up without your mom, but don’t take it out on him.”

“She died so he could live. A little freak. An abomination.” She spat poison.

“Don’t speak of him that way.”

“Why you defend him so much?”

“Cause he is my family. He is a good person.”

“Joffrey is also your family. And yet you detest him.”

“He has a serious problem. You don’t want to see it or maybe you’re okay with it. Remember when we were kids? I was four and he was five. He used to find pleasure on pushing me, you just stared at us and said it was a normal thing. I grew up and I was able to defend myself, one time I did it and you freaked out, you yelled at me, made me feel so small... you held him while I was sobbing, just because I moved when he tried to hit me making him fell to the ground. Of course, it was my fault according to both of you. How many times did Joffrey hurt me? Said I was ugly cause I wasn’t blonde like him? That I didn’t deserve to be a princess, he was so mean to me and you never lectured him. I recall how many nights I spent crying alone in my room wondering why my mother didn’t care enough to stand up for me when my big brother treated me like I was worthless. You broke my heart a very long time ago. I learned how to pick up the pieces. I’m not that helpless little girl anymore.” You could feel your eyes starting to get teary. You didn’t expect her to say something soothing. Cersei apparently ran out of words, you thanked for her silence instead of lying to you, deep down you hoped she’d embrace you. It was too much to ask for. You lingered a bit more before turning and leaving. Heartbroken once more.

[tabloidtoc]

National Examiner, April 19

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Tony Bennett's brave last days

Page 2: Stars with Mad Skills -- they became fast experts for plum roles -- Daniel Day-Lewis, Timothee Chalamet, Natalie Portman, Ryan Gosling, Jamie Foxx

Page 3: Adrien Brody, Margot Robbie, Bryan Cranston, Shia LaBeouf, Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert Downey Jr., Tom Cruise

Page 4: Susan Sarandon's roles and costumes

Page 7: Be Prepared for the Worst -- know these lifesaving tips before a crisis happens

Page 8: Lonely Stefanie Powers never wants to date because she still has gotten over lover William Holden's sudden death, even though it'll be 40 years ago this November -- the former star of '80s TV classic Hart to Hart, who's now 78, considers Holden the one true love of her life, even though she's been married twice to others and had a long-term relationship after the Hollywood legend's tragic death and she can't imagine being with anyone else at this stage in her life when Bill's memory is so sacred in her mind and his death still haunts her to this day, and it will only get worse as the anniversary approaches -- Holden, then 63, died at home in Santa Monica on November 12, 1981, of massive bleeding after falling and striking his head on a piece of furniture while heavily intoxicated -- it rips her apart to this day thinking how he must have suffered all alone in his apartment, bleeding to death -- the pair had a decade-long, passionate affair that lasted until his demise, which led her to carry on their mutual passion for wildlife conservation and Stefanie founded the William Holden Wildlife Foundation and is still the director -- she's tried being in other relationships, but it's been more about companionship than anything else and she doesn't have the motivation to date when the best man has already come and gone

Page 9: Vax Hacks -- avoid scammers who prey on fears of COVID-19

Page 10: His first day on the job as an honorary cop, Jeremiah met the other guys in blue and was the proud guest of honor at a special swearing-in ceremony just for him, and he's only five years old

Page 11: Important minerals for your body -- why you need zinc and potassium and how to get them

Page 12: Rude Awakening -- stars who don't mind their manners -- Alec Baldwin, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Christian Bale, Rachael Ray

Page 13: Sean Penn, Ashton Kutcher, Robert Pattinson, Russell Crowe, Cameron Diaz, Bruce Willis

Page 14: Dear Tony -- America's Top Psychic Healer Tony Leggett -- useful lessons learned from the pandemic

Page 15: Get well soon wishes go out to Chevy Chase, who just came out of the hospital after a five-week stay for heart issues -- in 2018, the star was diagnosed with alcohol cardiomyopathy, a weakening of the heart muscle caused by excessive drinking; he had dealt with his drinking back in 2016, when he entered the Hazelden Clinic to receive treatment for alcoholism

Page 16: Even though the century mark looms just around the corner, Betty White still radiates joy -- calling herself the luckiest broad on two feet, the 99-year-old Hollywood legend shares her advice for living a long and peaceful life -- she says her life is divided absolutely in half: half animals and half show business and you can't ask for better than two things you love the most

Page 18: When a California man won $145,000 on Wheel of Fortune, it turned out to be good fortune for a lot of people as he donated his entire winnings to the charity Uplift Family Services and Los Angeles Regional Food Bank, whose services support thousands of families

Page 19: These seniors are literally beating the coronavirus -- with 99 percent of them vaccinated, the 700 elderly residents of the Westminster-Canterbury on the Chesapeake Bay senior living community in Virginia Beach held a party and they had a lot to celebrate

Page 20: Cover Story -- Tony Bennett is facing his brave last days as he battles Alzheimer's disease at the age of 94 -- the singer was diagnosed in 2016, but kept the terrible illness secret until recently and has not yet experienced common Alzheimer's symptoms like episodes of terror, rage or depression but the disease has progressed -- for now, wife Susan Crow and the oldest of Tony's four kids, 67-year-old Danny from his first marriage, are caring for him while he lives in the couple's New York City apartment

Page 22: Recycle your baubles, bangles and beads -- bored with your beaded necklaces? Blase abut those old bangles? If your costume jewelry collection no longer inspires, there are many brilliant ways to give it new life or earn you some cash

Page 24: The internet's newest fitness star is 102-year-old Julia Fulkerson, who had a ball participating in her great-grandson Brody's virtual gym class

Page 25: Young Darius Brown has a mission in life: to make shelter dogs look as spiffy as he can so they'll get adopted and to do that, he provides the canines with slews of adorable bowties that he sews himself -- five years ago, when Darius was eight, his sister Dazhai taught him to sew and the passion was good for him because he'd been diagnosed with speech and fine-motor skills that the craft improved over time -- he says he saw how happy the people at the shelter were to get the bowties and how much the dogs liked them, and he decided to make more and he came up with a goal to give bowties to an animal shelter in every state -- so far, he's sewn a whopping 600 of the canine accessories himself, and helped dozens of pooches find forever homes and he especially likes to focus his attention on older animals and pets with disabilities, since they're the toughest to find homes for and the shelter directors say Darius' efforts have made a huge difference in the life of hundreds of pups

Page 26: Summer Horoscope 2021

Page 28: It's not just for the birds -- tips for watching our fine feathered friends

Page 32: Reverse Gear -- walking backward is good for you -- here's something new to try the next time you go out for a walk: do it backward -- it may sound silly, but health experts say there are mental and physical benefits to the practice, but go slowly at first to avoid injuries

* If you're always putting the needs of others before your own, you could be at risk for compassion fatigue, a condition that can physically and mentally drain you of time and energy -- compassion fatigue is a state of emotional overwhelm that is constant and persistent, once in this state of emotional exhaustion, it becomes difficult to empathize with those they help and essentially, it's empathy burnout

Page 34: Grandads Before 50! No rocking chairs for these grandpas -- take a look at these celebs who had their grandchildren before their first gray hair -- Jim Carrey, James Brolin, Donny Osmond, Mick Jagger, Pierce Brosnan, Charlie Sheen

Page 40: The Element of Earth -- earth is the second of the four elements: fire, earth, air and water

Page 42: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Drew Barrymore

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Dakota Johnson and her parents Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson (picture), Kristen Stewart as Princess Diana in the film Spencer (picture), Tina Turner admits she instantly fell for husband Erwin Bach in 1986 when they first met at an airport in Germany, Bindi Irwin gave birth to daughter Grace Warrior Irwin Powell, Michael Douglas is still going strong after 5 decades as an actor and loves what he does for a living, George Segal passed away due to complications from bypass surgery, Jessica Walter died in her sleep

Page 45: Eddie Murphy is inducted into NAACP Image Awards Hall of Fame (picture), Diana Ross performs at the Segerstrom Center for the Arts in California (picture), Mario Lopez helps christen the tables at Mohegan Sun Casino in Las Vegas (picture), Ann-Margret and Julianne Hough attend the Family Film Awards where the redhead received a lifetime achievement award (picture), James Middleton who is the brother of Duchess Kate says he and fiancee Alizee Thevenet are done with city living, Justin Bieber's mom didn't like his newest tattoo saying Don't you have enough yet?, Zac Efron was spotted flying to Sydney with Aussie girlfriend Vanessa Valladares, Taraji P. Henson asked fans for prayers for her pet pooch that was suffering from post-surgery complications but he unfortunately died

Page 46: A lottery winner in Tennessee was feeling like a million bucks, until he realized he'd lost his precious ticket but he didn't give up: he retraced his steps until he found the ticket again

[fandom-blackhole]

If there are anymore slots open could I be part of the shipping thing?🥺

I don’t care about gender 😉 and I’m gonna say either clone wars or the bucket boys+the armorer ( I think I messed up that spelling😬)

My pronouns are she/they and I’m 20!

I have should length brown hair and those weird hazel-grey-green-amber eyes. I’m 5’3” max and have an athletic/curvy-ish body type. I’m asexual but not aromantic, a Scorpio,and a Slytherin 🐍. My favorite colors are sage green, a dark navy/indigo blue, and soft grey tones. My favorite band is AJR but I lovveee listening to musicals and orchestral music as well as country( true country not that luke bryan type stuff). I’m a very open book and have no trouble collecting friends( I say collecting because I just kinda end up with them?) even though most of them are my complete opposite. I’m in college for civil and environmental engineering, and am really passionate about the environment (ESPECIALLY ANIMALS). And on the topic of animals I have sooo many, besides my service dog (Simba) I have 2 others dogs, a bunch of fish, and am know to be that girl who can pet wild squirrels and carry around wild snakes without getting bit. I also adore children of any age ( but especially younger then 8 cause they are just wild). I’m also a big sports/athletics fan, I play golf for my college but I also love volleyball and baseball as well as track. I also have a stupid amount of random knowledge about everything. My style is a equal mix of athletic clothes and earth tones and but up shirts are about half my wardrobe ( also it’s either long sleeves or no sleeves for me). I also hate wearing shoes but love wearing socks and have the WORST TAN LINES EVER. I’m the mom friend but also the fuck-around-and-find-out friend and am also known to throw pens/pencils at people when they annoy me. People say me theme song is ‘No Body No Crime’ by Taylor Swift. I have very strong opinions and a very strong sense of self, and if you piss me off I will remember it( we don’t forgive and forget in this house we RESENT AND REMEMBER). I am very organized and good at working with others( as long as they don’t step all over me). My mom calls me her little goose ( because I am not a duck that falls into line) but my friends call my little one and occasionally the angriest bumblebee. I also have a tattoo of a turtle, a bee, a fox, and the moon phases. I am also a huge plant person and have at least 12 plants in my dorm room with another 10+ at home. My current favorite plant is a burros tail succulent and my favorite flower is a moon flower. I compost and have no shame picking up dirt/rocks/flowers that look interesting. I also write songs and poetry ( that basically no one gets to see). I love movies of any kind ( some of my favs are The Spy Who Dumped Me, Captain Marvel, and Hamilton). I also love to read and honestly prefer fan-fiction to published works. I also am pretty good at cooking and really enjoy spicy food and chicken ( but I don’t eat beef). Uhhhhhhhhhh that’s kinda all of I can think of rn so i you have any more questions feel free to ask 😂. I’m gonna ship you with Rex because I think y’all would really vibe cause of the whole exasperated parent vibe ( who is totally willing to cause mischief when with the right people) and I could totally see y’all pointedly ignoring whatever chaos the others are causing and focusing on each other😍

Hello and thank you for participating in the ships! Also you did spell armorer correctly if that was what you were worried about! (I often have to go back and fix it when I type it because I usually put an extra -er on the end for some reason lol)

I ship you with Din Djarin!

Just to start I think Din would rally love and fall for you over and over just from watching you interact with Grogu. Seeing the two of you smiling or playing never fails to make him smile softly underneath his helmet. That being said though when he walks out of his ship and sees you just surround in little critters with Grogu in your lap he's not quite sure how to react, because he knows from experience that Grogu and small animals are not something that should be mixed, but watching you introduce the animals and allow him to pet them softly allows him to release the breath he had been holding and go about fixing his ship. Well until he hears you holler at Grogu for picking up a frog and trying to eat it. Din being always on the move never really considered having a pet himself so Din will adore your service dog, though you will have to keep an eye on him because he might try to spoil the dog in a way that service animals aren't supposed to be. Din will make sure to buy you the warmest and comfiest socks for when you all are in space because he notices you walk around without shoes so often. Din also marks me as someone who is disorganized as all hell, he just doesn't have time to keep everything nice, you know, so the fact that you are organized is something he appreciates sooooo much. He also appreciates that you are good at cooking because rations get old quick and he likes that you like spicy food because mandalorians canonically (I am pretty sure) like spicy foods. Din once found a little notebook of yours with your songs and poetry in it and he just melted, lovingly pouring over every word with a smile.

Omg yeeessss, I have chronic older sister syndrome and I am pretty sure Rex has chronic older brother syndrome so this totally works lmao

Also catch us sitting in the mess just making heart eyes at each other as we drink caf and in the background there’s Fives and Hardcase who have somehow caught the kitchen on fire lmao

Thank you for the ship, I love it!

Request a Ship (3/20)

[ridiculousn3sswrites]

Soccer Mom

*Thor x Reader

*Summary: Thor decides to volunteer as coach for your daughter’s soccer team. He’s a huge hit with the kids.

*Warnings: None, I think. Let me know if I missed anything.

*A/N: Okay so I saw a post about Thor coaching a little girls’ sports team and this was born. Featuring Assistant Coach Peter Parker and Good Uncle Loki. Also I used to play soccer when I was little and the only thing I really remember is orange slices at half time.

My Ko-Fi if you want to support my writing

**********

When your daughter started getting to that age group when you start putting them in every activity to try it out, it was a wild ride. She tried gymnastics, basketball, tee ball, dance, cheer, and even tennis, before you reached something she genuinely liked: soccer. Once she joined the local soccer league, she quickly fell in love with the game. It only took a couple weeks before your family was drawn into the world of youth soccer. While you weren’t surprised at your daughter’s enthusiasm for the sport, you were surprised at your husband’s involvement in her newfound passion.

Thor always supported your daughter 100% with whatever she was interested in at the time, but with soccer it was a whole other level. He was the first to offer to take her to practice, staying the entire time to watch the drills her coach used. He practiced with her almost every day he wasn’t on missions, either at the park or the field outside the compound. As she got older and started rising divisions in the league, it became obvious your daughter was going to stick with soccer for a while.

“I should be a soccer coach,” Thor told you one night after you’d put Rose to bed. You stopped right by the couch, resting your head on his shoulder for a second while you thought about it. It was off-season but sign ups were coming up soon, so Rose had to figure out if she wanted to request one of her old coaches or just go with a random team. Trying to figure out her coaching situation never really mattered before, but now that she was actively competing, she needed a more permanent team.

“Will you have the time?” You asked, moving to sit next to him. While Thor was actively involved in your daughter’s hobby, he still went on missions that could take him away for weeks at a time. If he was still taking those missions while volunteering as a coach, who know how often he’d actually be available to coach. Thor reached over to take your hand, rubbing his thumb over your knuckles.

“I can ask to just have short-term missions. Stark did that after he came back,” Thor said after a moment.

“I mean, that sounds like it should work. You should probably have an assistant coach just in case you can’t make it to games or practice,” you explained. “Peter would probably be up for it, he needs the community service hours and Steve never sends him on missions that are longer than a couple days.”

“Then I’ll ask the Spider Child tomorrow, and call Rose’s league after that.” From the smile on Thor’s face, you could tell he was excited. He loved spending time with Rose, and soccer was just another chance to bond. Thor would have to talk to Rose about it in the morning, but you had a feeling she wouldn’t disagree with having him coach, especially if Peter was the assistant coach.

Within a week everything was set up. Peter was more than enthusiastic when Thor asked him to be his assistant coach, seeing the opportunity to hang out with Thor and earn his community service hours. Thor called the league main office and told them he wanted to volunteer to be a coach, and even though they knew Thor, they emailed him the forms for him and Peter to fill out. Once those were filled out and background checks were run on the two as a formality, they were cleared to coach. Thor talked to Rose, and just as you expected, she was more than willing to be on her dad’s team.

**********

Thor and Peter were an immediate hit with Rose’s team. You didn’t know if the reason the group of ten-year-old girls took the sport so seriously was because they wanted to impress one sixteen-year-old Peter Parker or because Thor just inspired them that much, but when you watched them practice and have practice games, you were seriously impressed. Thor threw his everything into coaching, still running drills with Rose whenever he could, watching YouTube videos to get new ideas, and once when he was away on a mission, Loki sent you a picture of Thor reading a soccer coaching book on the quinjet.

After a few weeks of practices, the team’s first game was fast approaching. Her division didn’t play until Saturday afternoon, so you had time in the morning to get her ready. The three of you headed to the field half an hour before her game started, Thor wanting time for the team to warm up together. You took your camp chair (that you bought soon after Rose’s first ever game) and set up near the field. You weren’t quite sure which side the team would be on, but you could move it at any time.

Once the previous game finished and the team was allowed on the field to practice, you could feel that little brush of anxiety start. You didn’t know why you got a little pit of anxiety whenever you watched Rose’s games, but it was always there. As much as the league said the previous divisions were just about having fun and learning how to play the game, you knew Rose wanted to win, and you wanted Rose to win. That was just how these things were.

A few minutes before the game started, you noticed your brother-in-law walking over to the field, dressed in all black with sunglasses on. You waved to get his attention, and once he noticed you he gave you a wide smile. “She hasn’t started yet, has she?” Loki asked once he got close enough to you.

“No, they’re doing line up right now, I think,” you told him. “I didn’t know you were coming, I thought you were on a mission.”

Loki sat down in the grass next to your chair, aimlessly picking at the blades of grass. “I got back early, didn’t want to miss the first game of the new season.”

The game started soon after Loki arrived, both teams already racing up and down the field. You had to admit, you were impressed by how well the girls worked together, especially since about half of them only met three weeks ago when practice started. The game went on as these things normally do, the kids running up and down the field in an attempt to score something. When Rose was in the game, you made sure your attention was completely on her, but when she was sitting on the sidelines, you turned your attention to Thor and Peter. Both of them looked like excited kids, cheering on the girls as they played.

Before you knew it, it was halftime and the girls were all eating orange slices and drinking their Gatorades. You were talking to Loki about different things (mostly Rose’s activities since Loki had a soft spot for her despite what he might try to argue) when you noticed Thor coming over from the corner of your eye.

“Did you see? The team’s doing so good,” Thor gushed as soon as he was next to you. He immediately bent down to give you a hug and a quick kiss, the excitement practically rolling off of him in waves.

“Shouldn’t you be with the team?” Loki asked, looking up at his brother.

“It’s okay, Peter’s taking care of things.” A quick look over at the team showed Peter and the girls chattering away, some of them throwing their orange peels at him while they laughed. “They’re doing so good! Do you think they’re having fun?”

You gave Thor a fond smile; of course he was still worrying about whether or not the girls were having fun. “I’m sure they are, just look at them.”

Thor looked over at the team, seeing more orange peels being thrown at Peter. By the smile on Thor’s face, you knew he was reassured. Loki made a noise of disgust at the back of his throat. “I knew there was a reason I stopped hanging out with the two of you. Go back to your team, brother. Halftime’s almost over.”

Sure enough, the referee blew her whistle, giving the one minute warning. Thor pressed a kiss to the top of your head before going back to the team, immediately instructing them to pick up the orange peels. Or at least that was your guess from the way the team (and Peter) immediately started picking up the peels before getting called back for line up.

The second half of the game went much like the first, the girls running up and down the field, the ball moving just as fast. The game seemed to pass by in no time, the girls getting their first win of the season. It seemed to give them another burst of energy, everyone running to their parents with excitement at the win. Rose ran up to you and Loki, immediately running to hug her uncle, which you had to admit stung a little bit.

“Did you see my block? And Ella’s goal? And-”

“Yes, I was watching the entire game, little one,” Loki assured her. “You were really good.”

“We’re gonna go all the way to finals!” Rose said with finality, just as Thor and Peter came up with the chairs and Rose’s soccer bag.

“Hey, Mr. Loki!” Peter said with a bright smile. “What’d you think of the game?”

“Am I just not here?” You asked with a joking pout. “First my daughter, now Peter.”

“I noticed you.” Thor walked over to you, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You ignored the noises of disgust coming from your brother-in-law and daughter as you stood and gave Thor a proper kiss. “Well, what’d you think of the game?”

“That question was addressed to me first,” Loki just had to remind you. You rolled your eyes. Before Loki could actually answer, though, one of Rose’s teammates (Ella?) ran up to your group.

“Hey Coaches, can Rose come with us to get hot dogs?” Ella(?) asked, pointing to a hot dog cart not too far from the other soccer games set up.

“Ooo, can we, Mr. Thor?” Peter asked, turning to him. The way he immediately turned into a little kid almost made you laugh. Thor turned to you with the same look on his face, and you just sighed.

“Why are you looking at me? You’re the coach.” With your ‘permission’ Thor picked up Rose and started in the direction of the rest of the team, Peter trailing close behind. You and Loki shared a look before following them.

**********

As the season went on, you could tell the girls absolutely loved their coaches. The little whispers you used to hear from the other parents started to die down as people got used to you all being there (Is that Thor? Why are the Avengers at a kids’ soccer game?). Thor and Peter were always there cheering the girls on to victory, and after the games, they’d buy hot dogs for all the girls from the little cart by the field. They’d all gather around on the grass, watching the older kids play as they ate. Once the hot dogs were gone, the girls would pick random flowers from the grass and just fill Thor and Peter’s hair with them. (There was once they convinced Loki to let them braid his hair, but it never happened again.)

You sat on the sidelines every game, with Loki showing up almost as often. You watched as the girls won almost every game, the games where they fell behind getting mysteriously rained out. You heard some whispers about what the cause could be, but no one would actually voice their thoughts to the refs or the league. Seasons only lasted a few months, but it always surprised you just how fast the season went. It seemed like just yesterday you were watching the first game of the season, and now the team (which they renamed The Valkyries) was headed into the playoffs.

“We play Wednesday at six,” Thor told you as soon as he hung up the phone. He’d been waiting for the call about the playoffs schedule, and the look on his face reminded you of Rose after her first win. You could tell Thor was insanely proud of the team and how far they’d come over the past few months.

“I’ll make sure I’m off work by then. But, babe, we need to set some ground rules for the playoffs,” you told him, motioning for him to sit down at the table.

“What do you mean?” He asked you. You really only had one rule, but it wasn’t like he had to know that at the moment.

“Just… don’t rain out the game if the girls fall behind.” Thor opened his mouth to argue but thought better of it not even a second later. “Yeah, we could all tell that wasn’t just ‘sudden showers.’”

“I promise I’ll allow the games to go on as they will,” Thor said, hand up as if he was swearing an oath. “I wouldn’t interfere with something so important to Rose.”

“Thank you. Now, should I call the parents or would you like to?” Thor gave you a little puppy dog look and you sighed. “Okay, give me the contact sheet.”

Game night quickly arrived, and Rose was a bundle of nervous energy the entire day. As soon as she got home from school, she went to her room to get ready for the game - which was just getting her uniform on and giving herself a pep talk in the mirror. By the time you were in the car, headed to the field, Rose was bouncing her leg nervously. Thor was uncharacteristically quiet, looking out the window as you drove.

The other girls and Peter were already at the field when you guys got there, and you could tell the others were just as nervous as Rose. Thor motioned for the team to huddle together while one of the higher divisions finished up their game. “Okay, girls, I want to say how incredibly proud I am of you all for making it this far. You’ve worked hard to get here, and no matter the outcome of this match, no one can take that work from you. I want you all to go out there and play your best so you can go on to play another game.”

“He’s gotten quite good at that. You think he’s been learning from Rogers?” Loki’s quip made you jump. You never saw him arrive, let alone walk up next to you.

“Parker, do you want to say anything to the team?” Thor asked the teen, who was clutching the team clipboard in a deathgrip. You wondered how nervous he’d be if he’d actually been playing.

“Y-yeah, Mr. Thor. You guys have been, like, really good, I know you can do this. Even if we don’t win, it’s been a ton of fun working with you guys, so just go out there, play hard, and have fun,” Peter finished his speech with a shy smile, and you swore you saw some of the girls going giddy over it.

The field cleared out and the field size was fixed for the age group, and the girls started their warm up. You made idle conversation with Loki, trying to ignore how nervous you were. Now you understood why Peter was like that. The game started, and both teams were definitely playing their hearts out. From the brackets, you knew the team the girls were up against had just played a game yesterday being seated fourth of the five teams to make it to playoffs.

As you watched your daughter play, you could tell there was something else motivating her and the team. There was an edge of desperation to the game, every player wanting the chance to play one more game. You could feel the nerves from the team just burn away as they got more into the game, so much determination in such little kids. By the time the first half ended, the teams were pretty evenly matched, no points on the board. Instead of wandering over to you and Loki as he often did, you saw Thor giving the girls another pep talk as they snacked on their orange slices.

You didn’t know what Thor said to them, but apparently it worked. The second half started and the girls went in with a new burst of energy. Thor and Peter were encouraging them from the sidelines as they always did, and the team just seemed to perk up. Everything changed when Rose stole the ball from the other team. She passed it to Kimmy, who then passed it to Ella, who managed to get between defenders and score the first goal of the game. The girls perked up even more, managing to keep the other team from scoring for the rest of the game. After handshakes, everyone gathered around the team tent to get snacks and new information.

“You guys were incredible!” Thor gushed as soon as everyone was there. “I’m proud of all of you. We have the final game tomorrow, right here at the same time.”

“Yeah, so, just go home, take it easy, rest up, and we’ll see you all tomorrow,” Peter added. The team did a little huddle break, and then everyone was ready to go home. “Hey, Mr. Thor? Can I get a ride home?”

“Of course, young Parker,” Thor told him before looking to you to make sure it was okay. You rolled your eyes, but it was on the way anyways.

**********

While you could obviously tell Rose was nervous for the playoff game, you had a little more trouble reading her for the championship game. There was that underlying level of nervousness, but she seemed more excited than anything else. As she packed her soccer bag for the game, you decided to talk to her. “Are you nervous?” You asked, handing her her cleats.

“Yeah, a little. I don’t wanna lose in front of Dad,” she said, focusing on her bag. “But me and my friends are really good, so I dunno.”

“Sweetie, you don’t have to worry about your dad. He’s really proud of you no matter what,” you tried reassuring her. “He just wants to make sure you’re still having fun. Just go out there and try your best, just like you guys did yesterday.”

Rose gave you a sweet smile, letting you know your little talk worked, at least for now. As you were driving to the field, you could tell her nerves returned. She got very quiet in the backseat, while Thor was making small talk about some event Tony was going to have. Once you got to the field, you weren’t surprised to see Loki already there. The people joining him, on the other hand, did surprise you. Steve, Bucky, Sam, Tony, Pepper, Morgan, even Pietro and Wanda were there, standing around, looking kind of out of place. The other parents were eyeing them warily, not used to so many Avengers on the field at once. Sure, they were used to maybe two or three Avengers coming to see the games, but this was a good chunk of them. Rose immediately dropped her bag and ran to go greet Morgan and the others.

“Did you make sure they’d be here?” You asked Thor as he picked up Rose’s soccer bag. Thor shook his head.

“I mentioned it, but they never said if they’d come or not,” Thor told you.

“Actually, I made them come,” Loki said, making you jump. You really hated how he seemed to pop out of nowhere. “I knew Rose would appreciate the support.”

“Thank you, brother.” Thor gave him a bright smile, while Loki just rolled his eyes in response. You smiled at the little interaction, knowing it was just the way they showed affection. “I need to go with the team, I’ll see you after the game.”

“Seriously, thank you,” you told Loki once Thor was closer to the team. “I kinda wish Valk could’ve come, she loves seeing the videos of her namesake.”

“I tried calling her-”

“Wait, what?” Loki and Valk didn’t necessarily get along, even though they were fairly civil with each other. You could just imagine the look on her face when Loki’s contact popped up on her phone.

“I know. After she got done screening my calls, I asked if she could come to the game but she was busy with her King duties,” Loki explained. “So it wasn’t for lack of trying.”

“Wow, you really have a soft spot for Rose, don’t you?” you teased him.

“Don’t be stupid,” Loki said, rolling his eyes. “I just know this is important to her.”

“(Y/n)! Reindeer Games! Are you guys gonna get here before the game’s done or what?” Tony called out across the field. Pepper immediately smacked his arm, and he looked to Morgan like she would save him.

The game started not long after, everyone just sitting on one large blanket because no one thought to bring chairs other than you (and Loki always just sat in the grass anyways). You all watched the game closely, practically feeling the nerves rolling off of everyone on the field. Thor was fiddling with his lanyard, Peter was tapping his pen against the clipboard, the girls on the sideline were pacing back and forth, unable to sit still. By the end of the first half, the score was 1-0, the other team having the point. You could tell just by looking at the team that they were starting to get down on themselves.

You saw Thor motion for everyone to stand up, Peter included, and lean in to start talking to them. Peter grabbed the clipboard and began writing someone on the paper, and you immediately thought about how you should’ve gotten him a whiteboard instead. It was definitely too late for that. When the referee called for the teams to line up, the girls seemed to have a new resolve.

“What did he say to them?” Wanda asked as she watched someone on the team steal the ball.

“Isn’t that your power?” Pietro asked back.

“I will end you,” she deadpanned. Pietro laughed at the threat.

“Damn, these little girls are tough,” Sam whistled as Kimmy got knocked to the ground and got right back up.

“Anyone’s tough compared to you,” Bucky quipped. Sam immediately started arguing with him, and you could hear Steve’s soft little c’mon guys not here. They were quickly drowned out by the sound of cheers from your team’s parents as one of the girls stole the ball again. The other team tried taking it back, but the girl passed the ball to Rose. Rose took the ball down the field a little before passing to Ella. Ella got past the defenders, but one girl quickly regained her footing and went back to defending on Ella. Ella passed the ball to Kimmy, and Kimmy kicked the ball to the goal. The goalie dove towards the ball, but just barely missed it. The girls were on the board.

That point seemed to be the motivation they needed. The other team was starting to tire out, but the Valkyries kept playing like they’d just started the game. They kept the ball on the other side of the field, not letting the other team get close enough to score. The one time the other team managed to break away towards the Valkyries’ goal, the defenders quickly got the ball back. Everyone watched the game closely, even Sam and Bucky stopped their arguing to pay close attention.

From the stopwatch you had on your phone, there were only about four minutes left in the game and the score still hadn’t changed. Thor called a time out, the girls panting and trying to catch their breath as they gathered around. No one was saying anything, and you had the suspicion Thor called the time out just so they could take a quick break. When they got back on the field, you didn’t know if they had that last push in them. You seriously hoped they did, but you definitely couldn’t blame them if they didn’t; they’d been playing hard all game with little to no pause.

The girls went back to playing as hard as they had been, no substitutions being made for the last few minutes of the game. The other team managed to get on the Valkyries’ side again, and the defenders once again got the ball back. You checked the stopwatch again, seeing about two minutes left. If the girls got sent to overtime, you didn’t know if they could keep up their energy. “How much longer?” Loki muttered beside you, not taking his eyes off the field.

“About two minutes.” Loki nodded, jaw clenched. It looked like he was getting as tense as you were. Rose had the ball again, quickly passing it to Kimmy when a defender rushed at her. Kimmy dribbled the ball, getting closer to the goal, but passed it back to Ella when she looked back and saw she was open. Ella had a clear path to the goal, so she kicked it high. The goalie jumped for it, but she was just short. The girls were up 2-1 with about a minute left to play.

The girls went back to play defense, not worrying about scoring for the moment. They just needed to keep the other team from scoring and they’d win. You took a quick glance around the blanket, and it looked like everyone was holding their breath. For a kid’s soccer game, the tension was thick in the air. Your stopwatch went on, the seconds seeming to drag on. A few seconds after your stopwatch signaled the end of the game, the referee blew the whistle. A loud cheer broke out throughout the Avengers and in the parents for your team. 

The girls immediately ran into each other, hugging on the field. You saw the faces of the other team, the girls looking anywhere, trying to keep neutral expressions. The referees called for handshakes, and the teams did huddle breaks shouting the other team’s name. Once handshakes were done, all the parents and guests went to meet at the team tent. There was a lot of hugging, a lot of pictures with the different Avengers, multiple team photos, you were pretty sure there were happy tears from some of the girls and parents.

“Okay, I’m really proud of all of you guys. Your hard work this season has really paid off. I’m sure you’re all tired so I’ll let you all go home. I’ll call your parents with details for the pizza party, but I really want you all to know how proud both of us are. It’s been an honor to coach you all to success,” Thor rambled. His mind was all over the place, trying to focus on at least one thing. He was still in shock, and Peter didn’t look like he was faring any better. “Peter, do you want to say anything?”

“Y-yeah! You guys did amazing this entire season, and this game just really showed how much you’re able to persevere and push through to get what you want. I’ve had a ton of fun working with you all this season, and I really hope you guys had as much fun as I did,” Peter said, a lot more put together than Thor. “And like Thor said, we’re really proud of you guys!”

With that, the team got in one last huddle, calling out their team name. Rose ran to your group, beaming up at all of you. “We won! I said we were gonna win and we won!”

“She’s learning how to manifest so early,” Sam said, a bit proud. Bucky just gave him the side eye. “What, man?! I’m on Twitter, I see that stuff.”

“How about we all go out and celebrate?” Tony asked. Pepper gave him a deadly glare. “What?”

“Morgan and Rose have school tomorrow and it’s already starting to get late. We can go out tomorrow,” Pepper offered.

“No one here’s starting a mission until next week,” Steve jumped in. “We should all get together tomorrow.”

“Yeah!” Rose decided to join in. Everyone agreed, that being enough to start heading off to the parking lot with their goodbyes. Peter joined your family, needing a ride home again. As you guys were walking to your car, you turned to Rose.

“Alright, don’t tell the others. What do you want to get? We can pick something up on the way home,” you told her. You aimed the first part at both her and Peter, knowing he can get excited and just spill things without meaning to. “And before you ask, yes, Peter, you’re getting something too.”

“Can we get milkshakes?” Rose asked, a twinkle in her eye. Peter didn’t say anything, but he had that same look in his eyes.

“Of course we can!” Thor beamed. “Anything you want, little flower!”

Rose cheered, giving Peter a high-five as you got to the car. Thor looked at them both, warmth behind his gaze. You smiled at the group, unable to believe how lucky you were to have them all in your life.

**********

Rose always loved the pizza party after a season, you’d even argue she might love it more than actually playing soccer. She was trying to wait patiently for the rest of the team to show up, but you could tell she was starting to get a little antsy. She was playing at the arcade with Peter, trying not to bother as you and Thor set up for the rest of the party. The second the other girls started showing up, Rose forgot about Peter. He came back to you and Thor, looking a little sad.

“I got ditched,” he whined. “Do you guys need help with anything?” You immediately set him to grab cups and plates for the team, amused by his dilemma.

The party went on, all the girls having a blast as they ran around the parlor and arcade section, eventually dragging Thor and Peter to go play with them. You talked with some of the other parents, talking about the different activities the kids were involved in. Once the pizza and cupcakes came out, the girls finally sat down for at least a little while. After food was finished, it was time for the trophies to be handed out. Thor gave a speech about how proud he was of the girls, and how hard they worked this season, and how they earned everything. After trophies were handed out, Peter called for everyone’s attention.

“So, Coach Thor, me and the parents wanted to thank you for everything you did over the season as coach. We all chipped in to get you a little gift.” Peter looked around his seat, pausing before looking up with a shy smile. “Has anyone seen my backpack?”

“You left it over here, Pete,” you said, pointing at the backpack next to your purse.

“Thank you!” Peter hurried over to grab his backpack before going back to the front of everyone. “Okay, so, we got this made for you!”

Peter then pulled a box out of his backpack, opening it to show a plaque with the team’s picture on the top half. You couldn’t read the engraving from where you were, but you figured it was probably the standard thank you with the team name and the season year on it. Thor gave everyone a bright smile, thanking them for the gift. The kids were then free to do whatever they wanted until your reservation was done, Thor and Peter joining them in the arcade area. You were talking with Kimmy’s mom when another mom walked over to you.

“Hi, I’m Ella’s mom,” the woman said, shaking your hand. “Are Thor and Peter coaching again next season? Ella really wants to be on the team again, she had so much fun this season.”

You looked over at the little arcade area of the parlor. Peter was at the claw machine, surrounded by some of the team as he tried to win stuffed animals for each of them. Thor was at one of the arcade games, playing against Rose as others watched with rapt attention. You thought about how much fun the two of them had over the season and your conversation with Thor as the two of you set up.

“Yeah, Thor definitely is. I’d ask Peter if he’s going to, though,” you told her. She nodded.

“Thank you, I’ll be sure to ask him before we leave.” With that, she gave you a smile and you went back to your conversation.

“Kimmy’s going to be so happy to hear that Thor’s coaching again, she really loved this team,” she said. “I was going to ask you but I didn’t know when the right time would be.”

“Yeah, Thor really loved the team too. It was such a good season.” You smiled, knowing how excited Rose would be to have her friends on her team again. It would be another good season.

**********

Permanent Tag List: @treatallwithkindness

[luluescribe]

There are days that I thought maybe, I was born too late. Or maybe, this is my second/third life. Or sometimes, I guess the reason why I was born in that specific year because God doesn't want me to ask too much from this man.

We lost him when I was in fourth grade, nearly nine years old. He is my Grandpa (Mom's dad), he and Grandma lived in Davao. I still remember the stories of my Mom back in time when their Dad (gramps) used to work in the military. And as we all know, when you say "military", that means "strict-to-the-bone" human-being, which I think perfectly fits Grandpa. Mom said that Grandpa has riffles and a heavy shotgun around their house. Once, I remember when she said that when my Aunt got pregnant and were staying in the province, their house was visited by an "aswang" (if you don't know what aswang means, then google it LOL). So Gramps hurriedly ran outside their house with his shotgun and fired at the "aswang". I cannot imagine how fun that scenario would be if I was there. 😂

Then the story wherein my Mom's older brother was caught smoking cigarettes at their backyard. Mom said that Gramps put Uncle inside a big sack and hanged him at the Mango tree at their yard. (there is a mountain behind Gramps house in the province and it somehow technically looks like a forest). Mango trees has ants, the bigger ones so after my Uncle was released from being hanged (because Grandma pleaded from Gramps to put my Uncle down) so he was released, full of sweat and with lots of rashes 🤣 . There was also a time when Mom and her siblings were playing at their neighbor's house every afternoon and if they hear a whistle, they know that it's for them to go home, run for their lives or else they will end up sleeping outside. (If gen Z's lived in my Mom's gen, I think they'll be all dead when 06:01pm comes to tick)

That's why now I understand why my Mom and Dad is so strict when it comes to time. Since I was young, I always caught my Dad adjusting our clock one and a half hour ahead so we will move and prepare for school faster. They taught us how to read time at such a young age, most especially my Dad. So by the time that I got older and started going to school, I always ended up walking in front of time, and up until today. But I guess the negative note of that is, I am too impatient and hot-headed in waiting. Like, I hate waiting so I was never late but when someone, my friends, cousins or even at work was late, I got so fucking mad that I always tell them in advance or a day before that when they let me wait for them for atleast a maximum of 10-20 mins then I'll leave them and I'll be off alone. 🤷‍♀

So while my Grandparents were at the province, my fam lives in the city. I cannot even remember what year was the last time I saw Gramps. All I can remember is that he was walking unbalanced when they visited us here in Manila. Gramps slept the afternoon away while Grandma fixes me and my sisters' hair. Gramps was 78 years old that time when he passed away. He's not that old when we saw him the last time but because of the incident that wrecked his body, he got too weak. Mom said that Gramps was riding his motorcycle on his way to their barracks when a public bus ran on him, swallowing his body below while the bus is still running. The bus driver didn't saw Gramps infront which leads to that accident, dragging his body under the bus. Luckily Gramps survived but it left him great marks that he was not able to go back into the service.

After Gramps died, the guns, especially the antique shotgun of Gramps that was boxed in glass and was displayed by my Mom's siblings was donated at the The Armed Forces of the Philippines. Mom recalled the day where she saw her two older brothers playing with the shotgun and was scaring their neighbor playmate. She said Grandma saw them too but Grandma didn't let Gramps know about what my Uncle's did or else both of them will be hanged again in the Mango Tree 😂

Mom told me that Gramps was half Filipino and half Spanish, and that Grandma was a mixture of Filipino-Chinese-Spanish. I saw both of their pictures, old family pictures when they were still young (40's +) and they did look the likes. The strong-defined jaw, long ears, freckles, pale skin, pointed nose and deep eyes (Grandma has small-angled down eyes and small-round and baby face)

They are also the reason why I am eager to learn the Spanish Language (Spanish or Mexican Spanish will do). I've been self-studying the language for years now and I still cannot comprehend some of the words 😅.

I wonder if Gramps and Grandma is still alive today, I wonder if they'll teach me to speak other languages as well or maybe, teach me how to use guns atleast? LOL

Anyways, do you believe in true love?

When Gramps passed, Mom and her other sibs goes back in the province to pay respect to Gramps. Every 3am, they heard sounds going down the stairs (wc sounded like Gramps cane) They also heard the spoon stirring in a mug sound coming from the kitchen, which they thought was Gramps coz Gramps wakes up every 3am to make his black offee.

Then after four months, Grandma passed away as well. Seems like Gramps is short-tempered like me. He misses Grandma so much that just after four months from his passing, he took Grandma away as well. After Grandma's burial, they heard dogs, including theirs roaring so loud while looking in the air like someone is walking pass them.

Mom said it's the oldies, bidding goodbye.

Love is real, even in afterlife.

[televisedbirdwatching]

Episode 1: Parks as Public Health Infrastructure

Portland’s parks are one of my favorite things about the city. When I first moved here, I would take myself of drives just to go check out new parks; I’d walk around by myself and make mental notes, excited to share these spaces with other people in the future. 

During the Covid-19 Pandemic, those parks have become even more valuable. I remember in April, my first trip out of the house post-lockdown was to go for a walk at Pier Park in St. Johns. I remember in July, I hung out with some friends in Laurelhurst park, decompressing and enjoying the 9 PM sunset. I remember in August, hanging out with my mom and my sister in the Peninsula Park Rose Garden. These parks have always been there, but I think the pandemic has helped a lot of people appreciate their parks in new ways. 

Portland’s Mt. Tabor Park.

Portland owes many of its great parks to the Olmstead Brother’s plan. In the early 1900’s, the city commissioned the Olmstead Brothers, sons of famed landscape architect and designer of New York City’s Central Park, Frederick Law Olmstead, to design a system of parks for the growing city. Peninsula Park, Sellwood Park, Laurelhurst Park, Mount Tabor Park and Forest Park were all sited and designed in reference to the Olmstead plan.

An Illustration from the Olmstead Plan, which can be found in the book “Legacy of the Olmsted Brothers in Portland” by William Hawkins. 

When Olmstead designed Central Park for a growing city on Manhattan island, he did so understanding that parks were a critical piece of public health infrastructure. Looking at a map of Manhattan today, it seems inconceivable that 1.3 square miles of developable land would be set aside as a park, but Olmstead’s plan found support from a New York City that was recovering from deadly Cholera epidemics in 1832 and 1849 that killed over 8,500 people- bringing the issue even closer to home, Olmstead’s first child died of Cholera in 1860.

The precursor to the germ theory of disease transmission was the “miasma” theory; people believed that disease was caused by odors and vapors from decomposing garbage and sewage. It was also widely accepted that plants and sunlight were capable of sanitizing “miasmic” or ���vitious” air. Olmstead’s Central Park was designed to help prevent future epidemics by purifying the city’s air and offering city-dwellers the opportunity to restore their health.

Olmstead wrote: “Opportunity and inducement to escape at frequent intervals from the confined and vitiated air of the commercial quarter, and to supply the lungs with air screened and purified by trees and recently acted on by sunlight, together with opportunity and inducement to escape from situations requiring vigilance, wariness, and activity towards other men- if these could be supplied economically, our problem would be solved.” The emergency and gravity of the cholera epidemics gave Olmstead and city politicians the political license to carry forward big ideas like Central Park, providing a public benefit and taking steps to prevent the next pandemic (although modern science tells us that plants don’t exactly sanitize the air the way they believed). 

Hudson River School painter Asher Durand painted this portrait of his children in an upstate NY Apple Orchard in 1832; continuing the long-standing tradition of wealthy people escaping to their idyllic countryside homes when pandemics strike in urban areas. Given the year of this painting it’s not hard to connect it to the 1832 Cholera epidemic in New York- bet you didn’t think I was going to sneak art history into this one.

It’s worth remembering that Central Park is a completely manufactured landscape. Marshes were drained and streams were created completely artificially. From the Central Park Conservancy, “its only natural feature is the metamorphic rock, called Manhattan schist, that’s approximately 450 million years old.” The rest is a work of art- deliberately crafted from the natural medium.

The tie between Central Park and public health goes deeper considering that the Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Reservoir, across from the Guggenheim Museum, actually predates the rest of Central Park,* and was the first major attempt made to bring clean water to the growing city. Even before germ theory, public health officials could tell that there was some connection between water and cholera, and set about building an aqueduct to deliver water from the Croton Reservoir 22 miles to the north.

In an age when most New Yorkers didn’t have access to running water, the clean water that could be found in the park was another draw. An 1870 guidebook to the park encouraged visitors to ‘drink their fill’ from the ‘inexhaustible cisterns.’ Ornate drinking fountains were placed around the park, including one near The Mall that used underground blocks of ice to cool the water. 

The Bethesda Fountain, just south of The Lake, was built as a monument to the completion of the Croton Aqueduct. This statue was the first major art commission in New York City granted to a woman. Stebbins was also a lesbian and used her partner Charlotte Cushman as a model for the statue; although in 1840′s language they were just two female best friends who lived together for many years and for some reason never married men.

The huge supply of fresh, clean water suddenly available in Central Park allowed New York city planners to begin delivering running water to homes in Greenwich Village, Gramercy Park, and Chelsea, neighborhoods that were initially upper-class suburbs created for people trying to escape the overcrowded tenements in the areas around the Five Points. An 1822 yellow fever epidemic provided the first major wave of resettlement from lower Manhattan to Greenwich Village, the second was spurred by a building boom that occurred as another wave of people tried to escape the tenements for safer living conditions during the 1832 cholera epidemic. The city spread farther north to Gramercy Park in 1842 when the reservoir was complete. 

This house at 77 Beford Street is considered to be the oldest original home in Greenwich Village, depending on how you define the boundaries of the village, and depending on if you count the fact that it was significantly upgraded in 1832 as a mark against its authenticity. Rabbit hole, here.

As New Yorkers with the means to do so moved further north and closer to Central Park, the Park seems to have had a sort of “greening” influence on the rest of the city, spreading clean air and water southwards into the working class and immigrant communities in the city. In the 1860’s and 70’s, the city of New York took its first steps towards operating as a housing authority, passing laws requiring that tenements begin offering indoor, running water and at least one window to the outdoors in each unit (creating the dog-bone or dumbbell shape we know today). In an effort to bring running water and centralized sewage service further south into Manhattan, the city began tearing up the streets and installing sewer pipes. When the streets were repaved, they used materials like concrete and asphalt to allow for weekly street washing and sweeping services. City planners began including space for alleyways in their designs, so that trash didn’t have to be placed directly on the street.*

This photo by Jacob Riis from “How The Other Half Lives” was an expose on tenement living conditions. Homes were often extremely poorly ventilated, often without any kind of exterior doors or windows. Sinks were shared among many residents, and bathrooms were outdoor outhouses. 

This article from the Central Park Conservancy argues that we should think of Central Park itself as a critical piece of public health infrastructure. Olmstead’s park provided clean air and water to New York residents at a time when many didn’t have running water, a window to the outside, or a way to escape the garbage and sewage in the streets. But as time went on, the Park not only provided a place to escape to, but a place that established an ideal: that clean water and air should be brought to all parts of the city for all citizens to enjoy, not just within the 1.3 square miles of park boundary- and over time, the city housing authority made steps toward that ideal.

“All these influences have a strangely powerful force,” writes an 1870’s guidebook to Central Park, about the power of a visit to the Park. “They compel the soul. It is almost impossible to do any thing in the park but rest, breath sweet air, and enjoy.”

“Do your Part” Coronavirus warning sign at Mt. Tabor over the summer.

I’m interested to see the ways in which Portland residents are enjoying those same benefits today, in light of a global pandemic. I’m also interested to see the other ways this cycle repeats. Will we see a post-pandemic return to the suburbs as people retreat from densely-populated and “unclean” urban areas? What kinds of infrastructural changes will be made to our built environment as city planners and urban designers imagine the next public health crisis?

Liner Notes:

*RE: reservoir- kind of. There was an older, rectangular reservoir built in 1842 that was later replaced  in 1860 with a more organic shaped reservoir designed to better fit in with the nature-inspired elements of central park, and that reservoir has also been replaced by the one there today. I could have been more careful about this in writing but I think it’s safe to say that a reservoir (of some shape) occupied that spot (in general) in the park since 1842.

*RE Alleyways- Yes, they began making space for alleyways, but large sections of Manhattan were built before this need for alleys was realized, and they couldn’t exactly go back and put them there, so there are virtually no alleyways in Manhattan; most are in other boroughs.

I acknowledge that New York City has a rocky history with parks; see Jane Jacob’s description of parks as places that provide cover for youth to bully other youth; see Robert Moses’ time in New York City and the overt racism he displayed when choosing the locations of parks and sites for playground equipment. Even within the 1840s, there would have been race and class dynamics at play, too- not everyone would have had equitable access to a public health resource like Central Park. This warrants its own investigation and I felt like I didn’t have the sources nor the scope to include that here. If anyone has any sources that talk about access to parks in the 19th and early 20th century, I’d like to know!

[d3adguyy]

ok so this headcanon/au list is weeks of me randomly writing down stuff. (i may make a list of some more uh... nsfw headcanons later on, but idk)

also, some of these aus are very dumb and unrealistic, but whatever, so

there is no beetlebabes shipping in this at all. don’t even try. the only shipping is charles/delia (do they have an official ship name?) and adam/barbara/beetlejuice, which is beetlelands and/or goldenrat!

(some of these are very unrealistic/basically just me projecting but this is my list and i’ll Do What I Want)

also, fuck formatting, i’m too lazy

- au where higher powered demons/ghouls have wings. naturally, beetlejuice has them and he is a fucking disaster. he knocks shit over, gets them caught on everything, and will knock people over. (somehow, they’re the only thing that’s actually clean)

- au in which the netherworld had a more lasting effect on lydia, and causes her to have sort of “fainting” spells (there’s a whole long and convoluted explanation but i’m too lazy to type it out.) since this is obviously bad for multiple reasons, beej turns into a “service” dog to help her at school (the fact that he knows lydia is being bullied may have influenced his decision)

- lydia and beetlejuice share one, very very damaged brain cell between them. they’re both smart in their own ways, but the second they try and solve something together? nothing. they usually end up almost going through with a stupid scheme until someone stops them last minute

- they may not have a dog, but (big) sandy the sandworm is just as happy to play fetch

- they also have a “girls” night once a week, in which they watch crappy horror movies, paint their nails, talk shit about people, and beetlejuice gushes complains about the maitlands

- bj can actually speak quite a few languages (he’s been around quite a long time, after all) however, he chooses to hide this fact until a time where he can a) freak someone out or b) show off

- bj follows lydia to school occasionally and will either make snide comments about the other students, or tell lydia what they’re doing on their phones (lydia sometimes hears things she wishes she had never known)

- lydia and beetlejuice stay “married”, but only in a convinient way (financial aid and tax benefits ftw, beetlebabes fuck off)

- beetlejuice plays the ukulele (as shown in the musical) and you can sometimes hear him playing on the roof (if he sees anyone listening he’ll immediately stop and go pink and disappear)

- bj and lydia go to pride every year, and Fuck Shit Up in a (mostly) legal way. once the maitlands figure out how to leave the house, they accompany them and let loose and join them in their chaos. delia eventually starts coming as well. charles stays home to preserve his sanity.

- beetlejuice figures out the maitlands can leave the house so long as they have a piece of it with them, and so makes them bracelets with wood from the house. they’re both extremely happy and grateful.

- beetlejuice and miss argentina are pals, and hung out together when beej used to spend all of his time in the underworld (he still pops by to visit her occasionally, and even helped her with the backlash/work after juno died)

- au where it’s now book of mormon, and lydia and bj are paired up for a mission. chaos ensues. (don’t ask me how this one would work, because i honestly don’t know.)

- lydia has a sleepover at her house with school friends. one of them brings a ouija board. beej and the maitlands decided to have time fun with it, and lydia tries not to crack up watching them.

- delia and beetlejuice are friends (bc they lowkey have a decent amnt in common ngl) and delia will occasionally join in on beej & lyds’ schemes

- delia treats beej like a son due to him acting like lydia’s crazy and feral (yet very loving and overprotective) older brother. charles doesn’t get it, but it makes her happy so he goes along with it.

- just like beej and lyds have “girls night”, delia, barbara, and beetlejuice have something similar where they drink wine, gossip about the neighborhood moms, and watch shitty reality tv and yell at the screen. charles tried to interrupt once and got a bottle of wine thrown at him (courtesy of delia)

- beetlejuice and lydia are Trans As Fuck (lydia’s lesbian and beej is pan) the maitlands are both bi, delia is pan and charles is Straight.

- souleater au where lydia is the meister and bj is her weapon

- beetlejuice has a love of all things circus. (he’s surprisingly good at trapeze, and not-so-surprisingly good at fire eating and breathing)

- beej has a big fat crush on the maitlands, but him being the emotionally stunted demon he is, has absolutely no idea how to express this

- the maitlands suspect that bj is crushing on them, but they aren’t completely sure (they still think he’s adorable, though)

- beej loves cuddling. that’s it, that’s the headcanon. he is a very touchy person (and not just in a perverted way.) he and lydia can be seen cuddling in bed binging horror movies, and bj is known to get comfy on the couch that is definitely not big enough for both him and the maitlands. (also, beej loves being the little spoon.)

- lydia and delia share a very niche interest in astrology, and it’s probably one of the only things they have in common. (delia still loves lydia and lydia loves her too, even if she would never admit it)

- au where lydia dies in some accident, and beetlejuice pulls a bunch of strings to make her a demon. he now has to train her to use her newly gained powers. (to make her a demon, they had to be related, so he adopts her as his younger sister)

- to mash together the au above and the wing au from the top of the list, one day lydia starts growing wings and beetlejuice couldn’t be prouder.

- the maitlands have really dumb (but cute) nicknames for beetlejuice (gummyworm, teddy bear, marshmallow, etc. they occasionally call him lawrence, which makes him melt.) lydia has borderline insulting nicknames for bj (trash man, hobo, stinky bastard, etc.) and charles and delia just call him random variations of his name (mr. juice, beetleman, mr. beetle, etc. they will use his full name if he does something too chaotic, and it’s then he knows to run)

(i just lost a bunch of headcanons and aus because tumblr unexpectedly closed :( i’m gonna try my best to re-write them all. i’m also grouping all the aus together before i re-write the headcanons, so get ready lol)

- pjo au!

• lydia is a daughter of persephone, and starts attending camp at age 12 (persephone doesn’t actually have a kid with charles, she just lends her magic to lydia’s mom in order for them to have a kid, as she actively was a worshipper of persephone, and that ends up making lydia a half blood.)

• beetlejuice was a son of hectate, but died after performing wayyyy too many rituals to increase his magic, and it eventually got too much to control and the strain killed him. he keeps his powers when he dies though. (he got banished from the underworld and was tied to a living soul for as long as they lived - it was lydia, so now they Fuck Shit Up together. hades regrets his choice of punishment.)

• barbara is a daughter of harmonia

• adam is a son of hephaestus

• delia is a legacy of eros

barbara and adam are instructors at camp halfblood (barbara teaching pottery and adam teaching woodworking)

they take lydia under their wing when they notice she doesn’t really have friends, and so they eventually meet beetlejuice (he has a Big Crush on them but refuses to do anything about it. for now.)

- hunger games au time! (at this point i’m just doing aus of all of the old young adult series i used to read)

• beetlejuice and lydia were the tributes chosen from district 12 (with beetlejuice volunteering to protect lydia during the games)

• their mentor is juno, who is an asshole and is utterly useless, as she doesn’t think they have any chance

• the maitlands are a couple that live in the capitol, even if they really don’t agree with the morals and lifestyle. they are huge sponsors for bj and lyds during the games.

• beej and lyds are the last ones standing, and after all the trouble that beetlejuice has made the capitol go through during the games, they decide it isn’t worth it to try and kill them, so they both win.

• the maitlands secretly take in both of them after the games

• charles flips houses and delia is an artist, they know about the maitlands and help keep the secret

- time for the divergent au nobody asked for!

• lydia was born erudite and transferred dauntless (she could’ve stayed erudite as well)

• beetlejuice was born dauntless and stayed (he did have an aptitude for amity, but he’ll take that to the grave)

• barbara was born erudite and transferred amity

• adam was born abnegation and transferred amity

• charles was born erudite and stayed

• delia was born amity and transferred erudite (she had aptitude for candor as well)

beej is lydia’s trainer when she joins dauntless, and they become inserperable during and after training. (lydia graduates top of her class - she would’ve despite beetlejuice, but it didn’t hurt to have him)

(taking some liberties here and making it so that factions can interact with each other outside of school and mandatory events, however intermarriage and dating between factions is a no no)

the maitlands find beetlejuice doing Stupid Shit in the woods near amity. this happens a few times, with bj and lyds running away each time, until they finally catch them and they all meet.

the maitlands take lyds under their wing, but don’t know what to think about beetlejuice (they secretly adore him, but won’t be telling him that anytime soon. bj has a Humongous Crush on them, and tells them. eventually. they end up dating despite the illegality of it)

the deetzes end up finding out about the dating, and keep it secret, even though hey aren’t particularly fond of beej. yet.

- and now time for a warrior cats au. time to bring up those repressed memories :)

(ok so again, more liberties, cats can choose to join another clan when they become apprentices, and the clans interact a lot more outside of meetings and battles. also the only one i have a warrior name for is beetlejuice, because his would literally just be Beetlejuice)

• beetlejuice was born a loner and eventually joined shadow clan as an apprentice

• lydia was born thunder clan and transferred to shadow clan, and was chosen to be a medicine cat

• barbara would be river clan and stay there

• adam would be thunder clan and transfer to river clan to be with barbs

• charles and delia were both born and stayed in thunder clan

beej is lyd’s mentor for non-medicine cat stuff (as shadow clan teaches their med cats to fight, and i feel like they would get all of the same training normal apprentices did, such as hunting)

lyds and the maitlands get along and hang out a lot, and beetlejuice just kinda trails along. yet again he has a crush on them. however, he minimizes his time with them so that they don’t find reasons to dislike him (in his eyes)

- ok so we’ve done one cat au, time for a much more niche one! this one is based on the book claws, by mike and rachel grinti. (it’s a middle school level book for sure, but i picked it up sometime in elementary school and i still love it now that i’m older)

• beej as jack (although he still has magic, his magic is just super chaotic and hard to control) lyds as emma, and they go on a quest for how lydia’s mom died (something to do with the faries)

• beetlejuice only agrees to do the quest because he wants a friend, which was really the whole reason behind giving lydia the heart.

• the maitlands are part of the pride that lyds takes over. they were wary of her at first, but backed her up when she needed it. they warmed up to her quickly after that, and they take her under their wing to show her the ropes of how prides work

beej continues to hang out with lydia, but isn’t really accepted by the pride for the most part, with the maitlands being the closest to being his friends. this eventually changes, and they grow closer over time.

- small httyd au: lydia is a viking, her dad is a high ranking official, her mom killed in a dragon raid, delia still does art ig.

• the maitlands are dragons, and lydia befriends them. she later befriends another dragon, beetlejuice. she eventually teaches the villiage dragons are good and all that jazz.

- ok back to headcanons now: adam rescued injured wildlife when he was alive, and that hasn’t stopped now that he’s dead. a section of the roof is dedicated to little habitats/enclosures for injured animals, so that they can rest up and heal

- although she isn’t so good at rescuing animals like adam is, barbara still loves animals. (beetlejuice will turn into different animals so that he has an excuse to cuddle her)

- bj secretly enjoys how vanilla/naive the maitlands can be, and thinks it’s really cute

- beetlejuice is actually pretty good at cooking, and will make dinner for him and the maitlands on date night. (he also cooks comfort food for people when they’re upset)

- bj is an internet troll. that’s it that’s the headcanon.

- beetlejuice wasn’t born or anything, juno just kinda made him by accident, and that’s why she hates him so much. so, one day beetlejuice just came into existence, a full 5ft 8inches of pure chaos.

this headcanon is a bit odd for me, because it changes depending on the story/plot i’m thinking about, so i’m now reintroducing the trans headcanons so i can explain how it would work.

he presented as female for a while before saying “fuck that” and coming out. he would’ve done it sooner, but seeing as he just started existing one day, it took a bit for him to realize that not wanting to be the gender he was born as just Wasn’t Normal. idk if the netherworld has hrt, but im basing my version of it more off the cartoon, in which people have like houses and lives, i’m assuming it exists, so he got hrt surgery n shit

on the other side, when this headcanon doesn’t apply, he was about 16 when he came out, his parents said Fuck That because he was growing up pretty far in the past (idk exact time period, but trans people were a big No No) and he ended up offing himself. he ends up altering his appearance or going through hrt/surgery in the netherworld.

- in a human au, because i just thought of thi, he’d come out at age 16 still, and juno, shitty parent she is, kicks him out. the deetzes take him in, with lydia being about 14ish, and the maitlands are their tenants who become the second set of parents. (lydia is trans in human au)

- continuing the trans hc, lydia and her parents suspected when she was about 9ish, and so after having it confirmed by multiple doctors and specialists, was put on blockers until she could start hrt at 16. it’s a very happy day when she turns 16 and beetlejuice definitely doesn’t cry

- beetlejuice has a phobia of water and that’s one reason why he doesn’t shower (the maitlands eventually help him deal with it enough to be able to shower/bathe occasionally, because he still does like his trashy look)

- bj does drag. lydia and delia help him with makeup and clothing.

- beej also worked as a male stripper for a time at dante’s inferno in the netherworld. he’s amazing at pole dancing, and he can walk like a pro in heels.

- also, because heels autocorrected to heelys st first, beej owns heelys and will zoom around the house in them. lydia eventually buys a pair for herself and they Go Crazy

i think that’ll end off this list for now, as it’s gotten pretty long. there’s a good chance i’ll make another one in the future, but for now, thats all folks!

[argylemikewheeler]

so. i had an idea about will and mike as bucky and steve for halloween (in some strange alternate timeline bc comics), then @zombiebowlcut came up with the best idea of those comics not being so fantasy after all...there have been weirder things living in hawkins. despite the show’s title, this is the strangest thing i’ve ever written. pls excuse the word dump (and being four months late):

“Are you sure we should go up?” Mike asked, gripping his pillowcase around his hand. “I don’t really know who lives there. And we’re a bit older than the other kids... Maybe they’ll be upset with us.”

“They live in two streets down, Mike.” Will said, taking another step forward. “They can’t be evil.”

“Uh, you have lived in this town, right?”

“Yes, and we’re probably the most dangerous things in your neighborhood for miles.” Will laughed and grabbed Mike’s hand. “Come on, Super Soldier! Where’s your sense of adventure?”

“In my basement, on the couch with you under my arm.” Mike tried to argue with very little heat. He readjusted his homemade shield on his back, teasing Will with a throw.

“One more house and then we’ll go back.” Will promised, starting to drag Mike along. The well-decorated sleeve and glove may have been impressive as a false metal arm, but it couldn’t do much to contribute to moving Mike forward. “Michael, come on.”

“No, don’t use that voice on me.” Mike laughed, yanking on Will’s hand in return. 

Will stumbled forward into Mike, trying to catch his fall by pressing his hands against his chest. It was a sure-fire way to get Mike’s arm around his shoulders and lips pressing a kiss onto the top of his head. Will played right into it, and never minded-- but also knew they were out in public. As much as Will said anyone living in Mike’s neighborhood, or anyone adjacent by that means, wasn’t evil, they were definitely not very progressive. At least, that’s what Will had come to understand.

They separated before anyone around them could even spare half a glance. Will grabbed his pillowcase with both hands and led Mike up to the door. They knocked twice, immediately startled by the sound of a dog barking. Mike reached his hand out and braced Will’s back, lifting his eyebrows.

“If you say the people aren’t evil, the dog definitely isn’t.” Mike whispered with a chuckle. His hand splayed across Will’s back, pushing him up but also pulling him a fraction closer. Their shoulders touched and Will couldn’t help but smile. 

His smile faded as the door swung open on them, the sound of the turning knob completely unnoticed in their moment.

A tall man, not much older than their parents-- if at all-- stood in the door. The dog they’d heard was now silent, and barely noticeable, standing behind the man. Will tried not to be rude, and forced his eyes to stay on the man’s eyes and not the knotted long sleeve hanging only two inches from his left shoulder. He smiled and let their “trick or treat” hang in the air.

“Hey, sweetheart? You might want to come see this.” The man leaned back and called into the house. “We finally got kids.”

“What? We weren’t even trying this time.” The voice that emerged down the hall was that of another man. Will tried to keep his face still again. That was another man. And the rugged man standing before him just called him sweetheart with the most sincere and soft voice Will had ever heard-- outside of Mike’s. He knew what that meant, but he still didn’t know what to expect.

“I think they have great costumes, what about you?”

The two men stood in the door frame with bright smiles on their faces. One was blond, holding a bowl of candy in one hand while the other went around the waist of the man holding the door. They looked homey and comfortable. They looked happy-- and they were living in Hawkins.

But they also looked... strangely familiar. Separately, Will was sure they’d mean nothing to him-- hell, he’d probably passed them before in the supermarket-- but standing together, there was something itching at Will’s brain. He blinked, pillowcase still closed and by his side, and turned to Mike. He was standing with his mouth wide open, eyes the biggest Will’s ever seen.

Will was embarrassed, thinking it was the shock of seeing another genuinely open couple out in Hawkins, but another sense of embarrassment overtook him.

He looked down at his costume, then over at Mike’s. Oh. Oh no.

“You know, Buck, I think they do look pretty sharp.”  Will refused to believe who was speaking. But he knew it. He heard the name. He knew the comics were based on real people-- on a real conspiracy. God, why does every secret go to hide in Hawkins? And why does it always find him?

“They do... I just... I can’t place who this one is.” Buc-- no. They weren’t young twenty-year old soldiers. They were war veterans now, Will thought-- Mr. Barnes pointed at Will lightly. It wasn’t accusatory, but Will still felt himself shrink under it.

“Well, we have Captain Marvel over here.” Mr. Rogers said, motioning to Mike with the candy bowl. “And this has to be Million Dollar Man.”

“No. No. That’s Ironman.” Mr. Barnes said quickly, poking Mr. Roger’s stomach playfully. “That has to be Ironman.”

"You know what, you’re right.” Mr. Rogers nodded slowly. He leaned over and kissed Mr. Barnes’ cheek and Will thought he was going to fall over. He reached over and grabbed Mike’s arm instinctively. Mike was already in the process of reaching over and intercepted his hand halfway.

Then they were stood there, holding hands in front of their costumes’ namesakes. Looking like complete idiots; in love, and probably in the safest place to do so definitely, but complete fucking idiots.

“Not to extend a strange gesture but,” Mr. Rogers peered over their heads at the chattering groups of children down by the street. There were eyes everywhere. “would you boys like to step in for a moment?”

“A-Are you sure?” Mike sounded like the words were choking him. Being polite had never been so difficult.

“If it’s too strange to ask, we understand.”

“Trust me.” Will said with a sigh. “It’s not weird. We’ve uh, we’ve dealt with weirder.”

“Like this?” Mike said under his breath. “El is pretty tame compared to this.”

“I just put some water on for tea.” Mr. Rogers said, motioning over his shoulder.

“You drink tea?” Mike said suddenly, as if that was the most important thing. Will pulled on Mike’s hand, nearly knocking him over.

“Michael!”

“I’m just... surprised is all!” Mike hissed, face going beat red.

“What? Do regular people not drink tea anymore?” Mr. Rogers laughed. “Are we really that outdated?”

“No, that’s you. You’re the one who’s old. I’m surprisingly still ‘with it’, Steve.” Mr. Barnes shrugged. “I mean, I’ve got the cool kids dressing like me. How come I don’t see you around that often?”

“I-I uh, I don’t like in this development. Mike does.” Will said, still squeezing his hand.

“Mike... Wait! Wheeler, right?” Mr. Rogers was hit with realization, but didn’t look very pleased. “Ted, right? That’s your dad?”

“Yeah.” Will could see the horror on his face; if Ted had no problems shouting at his son just outside of church everything he thought about him-- and his plans to go out with Will on God’s day-- then Will could only imagine what he’d tell strangers.

“I’ll offer again-- do you want tea?” This time, the offer felt heavy. It wasn’t about the tea; it was an impromptu shelter thrown over their heads. A chance to take off their disguises on a night all about costumes. They nodded. “Great! Please, come in, Mike and...”

“Will. This is my boyfriend, Will.” Mike had never spoken the word aloud to anyone but their friends. Never to someone over the age of twenty. Will had never heard Mike come out with such ease. He was fearless-- or at least calculating the damage very quickly.

“Nice to meet you, Will.” Mr. Rogers nodded to Will, smiling. He seemed to be just as relieved to meet them as Mike and Will were.

“Come on in, Will. Oh- and don’t mind Tasha, she’s just my service dog. Since I’m with Steve she knows she’s not working so she will bother you to pet her. You can.” Mr. Barnes stepped back and grabbed the dog’s collar carefully. He kept her at a distance as both Mike and Will stepped into the foyer. “She’s really friendly.”

“You have a service dog.” It wasn’t much of a question. “Does she... help?”

"Yeah.” He nodded and his single word seemed to collect more weight the longer he let it sit in the silence. “When I first came back, she was a really big help. If you, uh, if you ever need a dog to sit with, Tasha’s your girl.”

“We should get you a dog, Will.” Mike said offhandedly, placing a hand on his back. “I’m sure your mom would like another one.”

“You think so?” Will asked. He’d never thought anyone considered his weird nightmares worthy of that much help. Maybe he’d have to try.

“Totally.”

“Well, if you ever need help with anything, I’d be happy to talk to your mother. Or whoever.” Mr. Barnes offered, walking forward.

“D-Do you know my mom too?” Will was sure most people in the neighborhood knew his mother. She never let her presence be discovered; she liked to let everyone know as soon as possible who she was and why one should never pushed her around. Will loved his mom-- and his brother-- they always made introductions mildly unnecessary. It even seemed like introducing himself to Mr. Barnes and Mr. Rogers was redundant.

“Of course we do.” Mr. Rogers stepped quickly around the dining table and waved the boys to the kitchen. “She’s the sweetest. Always helps Buck pack his car when he goes to Melvald’s.”

Mike sat down at the kitchen counter first, holding his am out and waiting for Will to sit beside him. It was something Mike would only do if they were alone together, but for once the audience didn’t seem to feel like other watching eyes. Mr. Rogers and Mr. Barnes didn’t hover on their closeness; they moved around the kitchen grabbing mugs and bags of tea.

“You know, Will, Hopper would probably like another dog too.” Mike said. “You can’t lose.”

“And if I do, you could definitely beat him up again.”

“I did not beat him up-- I was like, thirteen! He’s like triple my age!”

“Michael, just admit it you did!” He leaned in and whispered. “That’s not very Captain of you...”

“Will, I did not!”

“I’m sorry, did you say you just... beat up a grown man?” Mr. Rogers said with a laugh, turning around. Mr. Barnes chuckled quietly and shook his head.

“He beat up the chief of police.” Will corrected. He never saw it himself, but Lucas was a great storyteller, even years later.

“Oh god.” Mr. Barnes laughed again. “Sounds like someone else I know.”

“That’s my boy.” Mr. Rogers said with a proud smile. “You have him on the ropes, huh? Really at your mercy?”

“Definitely.” Mike nodded, rolling his eyes. “I literally fought the law.”

“He really deserves to wear those colors, doesn’t he, Buck?” Mr. Rogers smiled, but it wore differently on his face than one of simple amusement. He looked proud, relieved almost; there was someone else. “Good to know some people in this town have some fight left in them.”

“Left?” Mr. Barnes echoed. “Oh, Steve, I don’t think these kids have even gotten started. They’ve raised some hell but, they’ve only started. You don’t fight a cop as your last offence.”

“That’s true.” Mr. Rogers slid the two mugs toward them. He looked at him, almost studying him-- both of them. “They’re heroes. I can tell.”

“Uh,” Mike reached for the mug impulsively. “I don’t think a whole army of--”

“Oh no.” Mr. Rogers lifted his own mug to his lips. His gaze cut through the tight coil of steam to the both of them. Mike’s arm was still arm Will’s shoulders. “We’re still fighting the same thing. Monsters and bad men are all the same-- it’s just hate changing shape.”

“But,” Will spoke quickly, as if his answer startled him.”I think love changes shape too.”

Mr. Rogers paused, blinking. “I suppose you’re right about that. Think it’s in pretty good shape now, don’t you?”

Will spun his mug around slowly. He leaned into Mike’s side, his mouth crumpling into an embarrassed smile. “Yeah. I like to think so... Can probably take on a whole lot more evil.” Will sighed. He knew it wasn’t a hypothetical.

“Let’s not go looking for trouble, please.” Mike muttered, nudging Will’s side. He refrained from kissing the side of his head. “I don’t want anyone to ruin the best night of the year--”

“Again.”

“--again.”

“Don’t worry. I think we’re fine,” Will said, reaching to tap Mike’s faux-armor. “I think we’re safe.” He paused, looking at Mike like they were back in his basement-- or sitting safe by his bed, but hidden from the door-- all alone. “We’re safe, Mike. I can feel it.”

[rocket-roach]

Bruce Wayne has to go undercover working at Bat Burger. He hates his life. He tells no one, but somehow, everyone finds out anyway.

allow me to share some of my experiences working in retail pharmacy through bruce suffering in fast food

word count: 2164

“I’llbe dark for the next few weeks. Do not try to contact or find me. I can’tstress this enough,” Bruce said as he spun in his chain to face his assembledkids. “Gotham is resting on all of your shoulders. I know you can handle it. So,take care of her, okay? I’ll be back whenever the mission is done.”

Dicknibbled on his lip as his eyes flashed to the batsuit encased in glass.

“Do youwant me to go out as Batman?” He asked as his brothers and sisters eyestraveled to the offending case.

“No,”Bruce stood. “That won’t be necessary. We’ve gotten them quiet, and they shouldstay that way for a while. But don’t start any big cases until I get back. Thisis just patrol.”

Jasonpulled a pack of blue Camels out which was quickly followed by his Zippolighter. He lit up, blowing a smoke ring towards the roof of the cave. “What’sthe mission?”

“Stopsmoking in the cave. It upsets the bats. Also, that’s classified.”

“Classifiedfrom family?” Tim asked as he headed towards the fire extinguisher.

“I gethow the Justice League feels now,” Steph added.

“We’llkeep Gotham safe,” Dick said as Tim sprayed Jason with the fire extinguisher.

Withthe arrival of Bruce’s third decade of his vigilante career, he was getting damngood at putting on wigs and applying fake beards. He pulled the carefullyrumpled and wrinkled big box store button up from his suitcase and lookedaround at the crappy bedroom he’d rented in the larger, shittier two bedroomdeep within Gotham. He’d found this place after scouring Craigslist. It was 750square feet, with a gunk covered stove, blackened oven, and dish filled sink.Additionally, the bathroom appeared to have been designed in the 1920’s andthen had never been cleaned. His roommate was one Isaiah Addams.

Arecent grad from Gotham University, Isaiah was a country boy trying to make itbig in the big city. He was working at Big Belly Burger as well as a dive bardown the street. Isaiah was simple, ineffective, and for the sake of this case,an ideal roommate. But Isaiah only knew Bruce as Paul Scott, a down on his luckrecent divorcee who was out a wife, a job, and a house.

“HeyPaul?” Isaiah asked as Bruce finished checking over the resume he printed.

“Yeah?”

“Areyou uh, hungry? My friend Deb recommended this ramen place down the road. Shesaid I needed to try real ramen. I guess Maruchan isn’t the gold standard.”

“Thankyou, but I think I’ll pass. I need to save money until I can find a job.”

“Yourloss, man. By the way, Bat Burger is hiring. They’ll take anyone with a pulse.Have a good night.”

Brucewaved as Isaiah grabbed his keys, and slammed the rickety front door shut.Bruce ran a hand through his hair, letting out a heavy sigh. The apartmentreeked like the backed-up sewer that ran beneath it, and the stench of sewerwater was helping Bruce get further into character.

Thenext day found Bruce sitting in the chaotic closet that was the manager’soffice. Zach was a burly man, nearly too large to fit in the room. With eachmovement, the black swivel chair groaned.

“Yourresume’s impressive,” Zach started. “But you don’t have any food serviceexperience.”

“I’m aquick learner. I have some retail, customer service experience. To be honest,working in food is something I’ve always wanted to try. I’m always on time.”

“Youlive close?”

“Justdown the block.”

Zachsighed as he placed the resume on the television tray that was apparentlyserving as a desk. “Well, jobs yours. You can start today. Janey can starttraining you. You just missed the lunch rush, but by dinner we’ll have youflipping burgers.”

Janeywas a single mom of three, with only a GED and a 1990 silver Toyota Camry toher name. Her teeth were yellow from the cigarettes she’d been smoking sincesixteen and her hair had been permed into oblivion. But she was patient, whichmade his training go exceptionally.

“Alright,so Paul. You’re gonna get complainers. Old people, mainly. They’ll throw a fitif you so much as look at the burger wrong. The easiest thing to do is justredo it. But sometimes, they’ll throw a fit for a voucher. Cashiers can’t give‘em vouchers, and they know that. They’re gonna scream for the manager andZach’s always here. Just get Zach, sweetie. It’s less of a headache.”

Paulnodded, filing all this information away. He looked around at the fewcustomers, each sitting in their own booth, chowing down on the grease filledburgers with relish. Janey carried on through the training, showing him how tooperate the registers, which codes to call when he needed change, or when therewas too much cash in register. Then she moved him back into the kitchen. Oldfridges and even older ovens lined the walls, covered with black grease. He wasafraid to look into the grease traps.

Janeypassed him off to Daniel, the cook for the midshift.

“Youever flip burgers before?”

“No,”he answered honestly.

“Youabout to learn.”

Eventually,Daniel banished Paul from the kitchen. He had burned just one too many burgers,and that was how he found himself standing back at the register next to Jackie.It was five o’clock.

Brucewatched as the parking lot began to fill up with the cars of the people justgetting off work from Gotham’s downtown. Janey took a steadying breath, and thesmell of her most recent cigarette filled Paul’s nostrils.

DickGrayson walked in, his eyes rimmed by dark circles.

“Lemmeget Bat-beef deluxe with cheese and no tomatoes, please, Janey.”

“Surething, hon. You want to Jokerize that?” Janey asked as she typed in the order.

“Pleaseand thank you,” Dick narrowed his eyes as he took in Paul. “Haven’t seen you inhere before.”    

“He’s anew hire. Name’s Paul. Little shy but got a good head on his shoulders. Paul, Iwant you to meet Dick. He’s a cop.”

Dick’seyes were still narrowed.

“Paul,huh?”

“Uh,yes sir. Today’s my first day.”

“Anyoneever tell you, you kind of look like Bruce Wayne?”

 Afterthat, and a few more days of training, Paul offered to take theovernight shift. As he wiped down the tables, counting the customers in therestaurant, the amount of food they’d ordered, he decided that there was no waythis franchise was making enough money to stay open twenty-four hours a day andpay workers and other bills. When he was back in his mold-ridden apartment, headded notes to the ever-growing file he kept stashed underneath his mattress.He dressed in the ill-fitting batsuit and began his trek towards his job.

Theyellow streetlamps were bright enough to see the sidewalk, but not brightenough to illuminate the cracks and uneven slabs. He had a few skinned knees toprove it. But tonight, had been fall free. He stretched his arms above hishead, his neck cracking loudly as Sal, a regular, stomped back up to theregister.

Heslammed a half-eaten Mister Freeze dog onto the counter.

“I onlygot half a dog!”

Brucewatched as the ketchup oozed. “I gave you the full dog you ordered, Sal.”

“Don’t‘Sal’ me, Paul. You only gave me halfa dog. I want my money back. And a voucher. You know what? Get me your manager.I want to talk to Zach.”

“Hewent home for the day.”

“Thencall him! I can wait.”

“It’stwo in the morning. Zach won’t be in till about eight. I can get you Jazz,she’s working now.”

“No. Iwant to speak with the store manager. I want you fired.”

Brucealso wanted to be fired.

“I’llbuy his dog,” a deep voice that Bruce knew very well, cut in. “Sal, do you wantanother Freeze dog?”

“No!”

Redhood turned to face Sal, his hands drifting towards his hip holsters.

“I’mgonna ask one more time.”

 Brucequickly picked up on Janey’s tactic of going outside for a smoke. He didn’t smoke;maintaining his peak physical form and all that, but getting the fresh, sewagescented air of Gotham did help clear his head. Usually. When Jason wasn’tsmoking a cigarette three feet from him.

“Howlong?” Jay asked.

“Howlong what?”

“Don’tplay dumb, old man. I know who you are. Who you really are.”

“I’mPaul,” Bruce wanted to yell at him.

“Okay, Paul,” he said after blowing a smokeright. “Why are you here?”

“I needmoney,” Paul was starting to get a little pissed.

Jasonlaughed as he crushed the butt under his boot. “I need money, too. Yet, Ididn’t realize we were so destitute that you had to pick up a side gig at BigBelly.”

“I haveto go back to work,” Bruce’s face was pinched. If his damn kids didn’t stop,the whole thing would be blown. “Have a good day, sir.”

“’Sir’,” Jason started laughing. “You’re agoddamn hoot, Paul.”

 Paulwas locked into his room, buried in his notes when he heard Isaiah shouting forhim. He ignored him, hoping that Isaiah would shut up and let him work inpeace. It usually worked in the past. Usually. But soon the sounds of a scufflereached his bedroom.

Aheadache bloomed behind his eyes as he heard Tim Drake shouting his way toPaul’s room.

“Listen,kid, I dunno ho yougot in here, but you have to leave!”

“Isaiah,right? I just really need to talk to Bru- Paul. He’s behind… on his loanpayments.”

“Youlook like you’re twelve!” Isaiah said.

“Internship,”Tim fired back before he jimmied open Paul’s lock.

Paulhad been desperately trying to shove all his papers under the mattress, butthis damn kid was too fast. He darted over, snatching up as many papers as hecould. Bruce lunged for him. Tim dodged.

“Goddamnit!What part of ‘Dark, do not contact me,’was unclear to you all?” Bruce nearly snarled.

“It wasfine until we realized you’re trying to dethrone the Falcones. They knowsomeone is working against them from the inside, Bruce,” Tim waved as hescanned Bruce’s notes. “You’re writing as Paul, not Bruce. There are key factsmissing from this case—”

Brucewalked over to Tim. He grabbed the back of the boy’s shirt, and bodily liftedhim into the air. It was only then that Tim saw the anger bubbling in Bruce’seyes. He’d thought his dad would have been happy to see him after so many weeksgone, but Bruce just tired, frustrated, and bordering on pissed.

“Gohome,” he said lowly. “Tell everybody else this area is off limits. If I see any of you, you’ll all begrounded for the rest of your lives. Clear?”

“Crystal,”Tim gulped, slowly curling into a small ball.

   Paulwas coming up on two months on being undercover. After his conversation withTim, his children’s visits had cut down significantly. But tonight, as he threwthe heavy black trash bags into the dumpster behind the building, he noticedone small shadow that was out of place. He wiped his hands on his pants legs, looking up at his daughter.

“Cass.”

Theshadow disappeared for a moment, then appeared right in front of him. Her darkeyes were staring intensely at him; and with that Bruce realized she was aboutto ream him out. Her hands began flying, and it took every ounce of Bruce’sstrength not to immediately head home and start packing up his stuff.

“Iknow. I’m nearly done.”

“You’relying. To me,” she said.

“I’llkeep trying till you buy it,” He smiled sheepishly.

“Even Icould tell that you were,” Damian’s voice reached him from above.

Brucelooked up, mildly impressed with his youngest’s ability to sneak. He wasgetting better. Glacial blue eyes flickered to Cass, and she was grinningproudly.

“Oh,god. You two have been teaming up,” he groaned. “Fine, two more weeks. I’llhave it all wrapped up.”

It didn’ttake two weeks. It didn’t even take one. The Falcone’s goons blew up hisapartment as he was leaving for work that night. Isaiah, thankfully, had gone outto sing in the subway. Bruce sighed as the flaming remnants of his notesfloated to the ground. He went to work after giving a statement to the policeand ignoring the way Gordon kept staring at him.

The doorcreaked open.

Insidesat Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Orphan, Robin and Spoiler. Hog tied at theirfeet sat the Falcone family, gagged and growling.

“Paul,”Nightwing smiled. “Did you know you were working for the most notorious crimefamily in Gotham?”

[auntiebioticslab]

I didn’t get any asks for this but that’s okay because unfortunately I am WELL capable of infodumping without anyone’s permission. so here’s the unplanned variable ask meme by @outervvorlds

read mores do not work on mobile because tumblr is garbage from a toilet and my computer is currently on a UPS truck to California. I am so sorry.

Basics! Name, age, personality, etc. What do they look like? Are they a new or old oc? 

Her name is Rocket Alexandria Hawthorne! Formerly Rachel Holloway back on Earth but I’ll get to the reason for the name change.

She’s extremely vague about her age (her go-tos are “older than you” and “over a hundred” which are both technically true due to the “being on ice” thing) but she can pass for anywhere between 30 and 50 appearance-wise and the timeline of her Earth memories pretty reliably pegs her as late 30s-early 40s.

She’s a really effortlessly confident and funny person, which is the main reason she could probably talk her way out of her own execution. Also because I have a disease that makes me project my brain shit onto every oc I have she’s prone to hyperfixating due to an Unclear But Definitely Present Brain Thing so she knows a lot of things about a lot of things. Also she’d never openly admit it but she’s a sucker for romantic things and definitely cries at weddings.

This is her:

Her mom was Pakistani and her father was Black but she usually just says she’s from Baltimore.

What are their attributes, perks, and flaws?

She’s got high charm and intelligence, average strength and temperament, and good everything else.

I got her up to level 30 my last play through, do not make me list all her perks. Most of them this go-round so far are buffs to vendor prices and boosts to movement speed.

She has weakness to both plasma and physical damage!

What do they believe in?

Religiously, she’s agnostic but she kind of likes the notion of Philosophism. Morally, she believes that there’s no reason for people to pointlessly suffer just so someone at the top can hoard money, and also that the colony would be better off if Byzantium suddenly burned to the ground.

...she did not burn Byzantium to the ground, don’t worry.

How did they react to becoming Captain of the Unreliable? Are they much of a leader?

She always kind of wanted to be a cool spacefarer, but she hoped it would be under different circumstances. She told ADA that the real Hawthorne was killed by marauders, offered the poor bastard some dignity in death.

She is a pretty effective leader but that’s because she doesn’t really see herself as one? The crew aren’t subordinate to her, they’re her friends.

What was their life like before being iced?

It was boring! She was stuck in a shitty line cook job which wasn’t terrible but also felt like a waste of her education, and she was barely scraping by anyway. That’s why she applied for the Hope initiative.

Did they have any family before becoming Captain? Do they think their crew as family? 

Obviously she had parents growing up; they werent as present as they’d have liked to be because Work but she never once felt like they didn’t care for her. They didn’t live to see their daughter off when she boarded the Hope, but that was because of natural causes.

She also had four older brothers! Darren, Brice, Gene, and Andre. She was closest to Andre because the age difference between them was only a year. He’s actually the one who gave her the nickname “Rocket” in the first place; when they were kids they would pretend to be space explorers and their pretend names were Astro and Rocket.

None of her brothers were on the Hope. Darren actually was doing pretty well for himself in a low-level government job and didn’t feel the need to leave the planet, Brice didn’t want to uproot his wife and kids, Gene, well...she still has no idea what Gene was up to when she boarded the Hope because he took a job in another country and lost contact with his siblings years prior. Andre had been dead for years, unfortunately, having died in a work accident a week before Rocket was due to graduate college.

It still nags at her that while she can at least assume all her other brothers died peacefully and surrounded by loved ones, she knows EXACTLY what horrible thing happened to Andre.

As for the current crew, ohhh yeah, they are definitely her family. She cried when Felix said “I’ve got a family” to Clyde.

What’s their fighting style? Who do they bring along?

Ironically for a timeline where Roosevelt was never president, she does practice big stick diplomacy. Well, it’s usually small stick diplomacy because she prefers one handed melee, but still. If she can avoid direct conflict (through stealth or negotiation) she prefers to. The only exception was Tartarus.

There’s no real rhyme or reason to who she has in her party because from a Me As The Player standpoint I just go with whoever gives me boosts to the stats I need for the quest I’m doing. Which, in practice, usually ends up being Parvati and Felix because of that sweet sweet Persuasion buff.

Is Spacer’s Choice their only choice? What do they think of the corporations?

She is...not a fan of the amount of power they have. Spacer’s Choice in particular has a special place in hell as far as she’s concerned. If you held a gun to her head and asked her to pick a favorite...she’d probably ask you to just shoot her. Or she’d choose Auntie Cleo’s because their jingle is the least annoying.

What do they think of the factions? Are they liked or disliked by any?

Rocket has to make an actual effort to get on someone’s bad side so she’s in pretty good standing with most of the major factions. She made an effort with the Board, though 😁

For her part, she’s especially fond of the folks on the Groundbreaker.

What’s their favourite place in Halcyon? Least favourite?

She likes the scenery on Terra 2 and the people on the Groundbreaker, but as corny as it sounds her favorite place in Halcyon is the Unreliable. It’s home to her, and it’ll stay that way forever.

She doesn’t hate Edgewater per se but being there fills her with rage because of how...indicative it is of the way the rest of the colony is being run.

Do they have a favourite alien creature?

She definitely has never done extensive research on the care and feeding of leather boas because she hyperfixated on the idea of getting one as a pet before realizing that recreating the necessary habitat conditions on the Unreliable was impossible, or at least way too expensive.

No, I’m not projecting the amount of times I have done something similar for bearded dragons.

Did they save The Hope?

FUCK yeah she did.

What do they want to do afterwards? - but do they get a happy ending?

She finally gets some use out of her degree; she’s qualified to be a food scientist, like a real actual food scientist, and that’s probably what Halcyon needs more than anything.

Considering a few other things that happen in the epilogue, she doesn’t get a perfect end. But it’s enough.

What do they think of the companions? Friendships, crushes, dislikes, etc. 

She immediately thought “now I’M the big sister” after recruiting Parvati and Felix, so there’s that. Probably accidentally called each of them by the name of one of her brothers a few times. Convincing Ellie that she actually cares about her as a person is her white whale of sorts, and she empathizes a lot with Nyoka given her own history of loss. Logically she realizes that Max is a fellow capital-A Adult but also she feels like she’s holding the leash on a feral dog whenever he’s with her. She likes to tell SAM he’s doing a good job.

How do the companion quests go?

Golden ends across the board, babey. I’ve never been one to half-ass shenanigans.

What’s their love language?

Gifts and acts of service!!! She always tries to play it cool until she’s ready to admit her feelings though, so there’s a lot of pretending she just HAPPENED to find this thing she damn near tore the planet apart looking for.

Also she especially likes to flirt by cooking. Even back on Earth she got into a fair few relationships by being like “hey neighbor, I underestimated how much this recipe makes, interested in taking some leftovers off my hands? ;)” when she knew damn well how much the recipe made and doubled it so she had an excuse to see her cute neighbor.

Are they in a relationship? Do they want to be?

She has a crush on a certain rogue scientist, and unfortunately for her it is such an intense crush that she actually gets tongue-tied around him sometimes, which isn’t something she’s used to and that stresses her out a LOT.

Damn now I want to write an immediately-post-game-but-WAY-pre-epilogue fic with the crew trying to get them together so they don’t have to listen to Rocket blasting classical music and frustratedly screaming into a pillow every time she leaves his lab.

How to win them over?

She likes to look into someone’s eyes and see a fire, you know? I mean this in both a platonic and romantic sense—if someone is downtrodden but still determined, she probably at least respects them.

Also if someone she has feelings for does some kind of tender touch thing like brushing her hair behind her ear she McDies. Just completely short circuits. Cannot handle it.

How to break their heart?

If she found out someone important to her was using her or going behind her back it would destroy her. Unwilling betrayals as a result of being under duress are one thing, but deliberate, calculated manipulation? That’s her absolute worst nightmare.

How did those cows get onto their ship??

She wanted to try making homemade cheese and didn’t trust the bottled milk to actually be from a cow after what she learned about the saltuna cannery in Edgewater.

Ok technically she just agreed to deliver the cows to a facility on Terra 2 after the actual ship carrying them had engine troubles on Groundbreaker but she liberated some of the milk while in transit. Not like they’d notice.

A song that reminds you of them,

Sucker Punch by Die Mannequin!

Three random facts about them.

She got that burn scar during her time on Earth. Be careful with hot liquids, kids.

She’s tall—like, 6’5” tall. People who don’t receive proper nourishment don’t get very tall so she towers over most of Halcyon.

After the events of Don’t Bite The Sun she went back to Stellar Bay and told Raymond “I’ll teach you my recipe for breded cystipig chops with mock applesauce if you’ll teach me how to make that casserole”. Good trade for both parties.