#he's such a dad joke
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oh. you little shit--
thought i recognized it LMAO--
YUP LMFAO--
idiot. i love him<3
bonus~<3
urban using a real weight<3
#lmfao#he's so adorable#he's so silly#if people weren't aware#it's a fake prop#fake weights#shakeweight#if you know a little about deadlifting you probably already knew that#but it's still cute#silly bean#karl urban#the boys#popclaw#billy butcher#i love that he's wearing the shirt he was wearing in the episode while playing with the prop#pic is blurry as all hell but he's even got the scene makeup on too#he's such a dad joke#and y'know what?#we love him for it#embrace your baby belly dad bod you delicious sweet bean<3
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Chilchuck is definitely the kind of dad that scared his kids with the boogie man, he has that kind of humor
and probably ended up having them sleep on his bed bc he scared them too much too
#he really stroke a nerve there lmao what an aim#he has done this kind of jokes so much the whole season but this time it feel extra dad#dungeon meshi spoilers#as i watch dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#chilchuck#chilchuk tims#marcille
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Abby went into the pit and made a FNAF friend..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#abby schmidt#oswald fnaf#spring bonnie#william afton#into the pit#fnaf movie#fazbear frights#fnaf fanart#INTO THE PIT CONTENT RAHH 🔥🔥#OSWALD MENTIONED 🔥🔥#okay so I’m hyped for ITP obviously#the more we see of this game the more I want to play it#so I HAD to draw something for it to just get the need out of me#this is my coping until I can play it 💔#I hope all the frights books gets adapted into games#maybe I’ll draw some other book characters soon.. we’ll see#Abby in the movie goes into the ballpit#lil joke that what if she met Oswald there#and his ‘’dad’’/sping Bonnie#again just Abby befriending everyone moment!!#Oswald probably does need the friendship too cause he’s gone thru it
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i wonder where the idea of chilchuck being a deadbeat came from when theres like. no textual evidence for it ?
he knows what all of them are up to; he still writes to flertom and she sent him his neckwarmer, so that to me implies that they at least have a somewhat positive relationship?
its more ambiguous with meijack and puckpatti, but since meijack is also a picklock, i wouldn't be surprised if he taught her himself, considering how trades are often passed down through families, and because he talks about sending people to her if he dies.
also the way he talks about puckpatti is very like... it's obvious he wants her to take things more seriously, but he's accepting, and his tone here reads more fond to me than anything else.
like, he keeps his daughters' old toys under his desk? that doesn't scream 'deadbeat' at all, it screams 'empty nester' who doesn't know how to reach out or is scared to do so
EDIT: i know a lot of the 'deadbeat dad' stuff is jokes, but some people are Not joking and genuinely think chilchuck is a bad dad. this post is not saying that you cant joke about it; it is just outlining what canon shows regarding his (clearly positive) relationship with his kids.
#i love making fun of him but he is like. Very Explicitly Not a Deadbeat Dad lol#WHY DID I WRITE SO MUCH AGAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN#CHILCHUCK I AHTE EYOUUUUUIUUU#WHY DOES HE DO THIS TO ME....#EDIT: 'i thought the deadbeat dad stuff was a joke do ppl actually think that?' YES thats why i made this post 😭😭 bc ive seen ppl genuinely#say that hes a bad dad/husband!#L.txt#dungeon meshi#chilposting#long post
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Prompt 352
“Mother, I crave violence,” a small child interrupts the video call, practically clambering up into Nightingale’s chair. They look around five or so, with white hair and red eyes. Albino perhaps?
“Ah, apologies, let me take care of this real quick,” Nightingale turns the microphone off when he gets a few acknowledging noises, picking the small child up and moving them from the room.
“Cute kid,” Barry acknowledged from behind his coworker’s head, having been helping move things. Actually, the kid looked kind of familiar, though from where, who knew. Hard to remember everything with how fast his thoughts usually went. “I didn’t know Nightingale was a father…”
Then again the specialist was notoriously private, and set most meetings online thanks to some sort of medical conditions. So he supposed it would make it easier to be a stay at home dad if he was there already…
#Prompts#DCxDP#DPxDC#Mom Danny#Dad Danny#De Aged Dan#Well at least physically and using it to be a lil shit on purpose#Eternal Trio#Danny goes by Nightingale instead of the extra long combined name for work#You can’t tell me specialists wouldn’t exist in DC where there’s a bunch of supernatural & alien stuff everywhere#Danny specializes in scenes that have ecto or other realms energy/goops/etc#He’s not lying when he says medical conditions either what with the whole heartbeat/scars/etc#Ellie is also around she’s just out with Sam#Valerie is Ellie’s Godmother#Tucker professionally tests firewalls and similar & has a side streaming job#The people think Jordan is joking when he says he craves violence but he’s dead serious#He’s never been so annoyed than when he found out his ghost form has also been de-aged and he’s Tiny
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"It seems you've had quite a life..." - Ema Skye, 6-5 Day 1 Investigation
#apollo justice#ace attorney memes#apollo justice trilogy#aj trilogy#aj trilogy spoilers#soj spoilers#aa4 spoilers#aa6 spoilers#aa memes#ema skye#athena cykes#trucy wright#jove justice#thalassa gramarye#zak gramarye#phoenix wright#dhurke sahdmadhi#amara sigatar khura'in#datz not included bc there was already too many characters and no way that mans straight.#I know I could easily swap him in for Zak or Amara but I needed at least two women to make the joke work I'm sorryyyy#Zak here bc 'Trucy's dad. Yes Trucy is my sister but he's not my dad. Trucy's new dad got custody from her old dad' had to be included#Turbo Divorce
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Draxum's rude af kids are making their way through the @tmntaucompetition
Friendly warning: don't mess with Dad.
#he normally only hits kids when training#but he will punt a bitch#dad joke#he's the only one who finds it funny#ok that's a lie#i find it funny#tmnt au competition#red rover au#replica#rottmnt replica#rottmnt#kathaynesart#save rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#unpause rise of the tmnt#punk-ass kids pushing their weight around
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9-1-1 | Bobby Nash + dad energy
#911#911edit#911 abc#bobby nash#silly dad jokes silly dad outfits silly dad annoyance#nobody does it like him#also#when he makes silly jokes and he looks at athena pls he knows what he's doing#my gifs
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Headcanon: Deep down they both want to be their fairy godparent/godkid again after losing them, but don't believe they deserve each other and feel like they aren't worthy to be their companion anymore
They both need counseling and therapy as a whole package
#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#peri#peri fairywinkle cosma#dev dimmadome#fop a new wish#peri fairly oddparents#a new wish#periwinkle#the fairly oddparents#dev#my art#fanart#I like how both Peri and Dev is the type who prefers not directly express their feelings because they want to be seen as cool/independent#and be loved by the people that they care of#in other words#a tsundere//hit#jokes aside I like to think another reason why Dev cried during that scene is because-#he realized he's doing the same thing that his dad has done to him but on Peri#and yet Peri still cares for him despite his treatment towards him#like how Dev still loves his dad despite being a terrible father#and just..want to do everything right by him to earn his dad affection#man#Also ngl I have a hunch that Dev might still remember since Hazel's ''no rule'' wish was pretty vague#so maybe he counts in that wish?#plus he was wearing sunglasses before the memory wipe which maybe that won't affect him as well?#you can see I'm coping rn#I do hope this is only temporary and we will see them being back together in season 2 tho#giving them both some time to reflect and growth#because Peri clearly needs more experience in his job and Dev needs his character development for season 2
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herbology class 🌹🌿 (from chap 2 of my fic!)
#his alliteration/pun combo is even more lame in the actual chap bc seb holds up a dittany seed as he says this#bro had the dad jokes before he even became a dad😔👌#alliterations are just how they flirt.....losers...and i notice them EVERYWHERE now too. ive cursed myself#also MY ONESHOT IS LIKE 70-80% DONE I THINK?? im 30k words in but i might end up making it 2 chaps instead#idk im still deciding..itll depend on if i find a cutoff point that im happy with. cuz right now i dont like splitting it anywhere LOL#but maybe ill do it and release the first part just so that i can get it out and then finish the latter half later...decisions decisions#also now that im done my fic i also wanna draw a bunch of the earlier scenes i never did like this one#so weird drawing seb and clora not together yet tho LOL esp for seb. like damn there was a time u COULDNT just smooch clora?? nightmare....#i also almost drew clora wearing her hairclip SO many times by mistake LOL. thats the plus side of pre-seblora tho. dont gotta draw it🤪#hogwarts legacy#hphl#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x oc#sebastian sallow x mc#clora clemons#sebastian x mc#choccyart#mirabel garlick#hogwarts legacy fanfiction
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Seeing all those posts and fanfics where the batkids, especially Dick, calls Clark "uncle Clark", made me think.
If Dick calls Clark "uncle Clark", he probably started doing it BEFORE he ever referred to Bruce as his father. After all, another uncle doesn't erase any existing one, but accepting Bruce as his father was erasing John Grayson in Dick's mind, for multiple years. It makes sense for Dick's confused feelings about his situation to call Clark "uncle" before calling Bruce "dad".
So, I present you: Bruce being envious of Clark because Dick refers to him with a family's title but Bruce is just "B".
And in the same continuity: Dick being envious of Jason calling Bruce "dad" so easily.
For Dick, it feels as if the word is stuck in his throat. He can say it to joke around with others ("let's steal dad's car" he tells Jason), but to Bruce's face? He's afraid the world would end.
#bruce wayne#dick grayson#robin#batman#nightwing#clark kent#jason todd#superman#dc comics#my ramblings#Clark can feel the batglare Bruce is sending him from accross the room as a lil Dick calls him uncle and asks to be picked up#only child syndrome learns to share your kid Bruce Smallville isn’t going to steal him from you#also you can take from my cold dead hands the hc that Jason used to call B “dad” all the time#when he is de-aged in RHaTO he says he likes to call him dad#but also am I the only one to have remarked how Dick only calls B “dad” when he is talking to others and often in a joking way?
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The mark of a father......
#i knew when he kept repeating this joke tht he was ready to be a dad#john hancock fallout#john hancock fallout 4#shaun fallout 4#fallout#fallout 4#john hancock#artists on tumblr#fallout comic
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when @jonnywaistcoat was in The Mechanisms, he was Jonny D’Ville
when he was in @blacktabbygames Slay the Princess, he was Jonny D’Villain
and in season 5 of The Magnus Archives, he was Jonny D’Very Depressed
#dad jokes#no i will not apologize#is he Jonny D’Vista Update Needed in tmagp?#tma fandom#magnus pod#the magnus protocol#the magnus archives#jonathan sims#tma#tmagp shitpost#magnus archives#the magnus institute#tmagp spoilers#tma shitpost#tmagp#tma podcast#jon sims#tma spoilers#tma oc#the mechanisms#jonny sims#jonny d'ville#slay the princess#stp#stp voices#stp princess#stp narrator
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once you and katsuki discover you're expecting, you agree to keep it to yourselves for a little while.
you can't hide forever, but you want the chance to bask in the excitement of what's to come, together, away from outside eyes prying in. and you do: there's an immediate difference in the way you touch each other, how often, with katsuki even shifting coverage for patrol just so he can cling to your side for an extra day or two. it's like a honeymoon, almost, and you take the time to enjoy it like one.
but of course he wants to tell his parents as soon as he can, though he doesn't outright admit it; as soon as you start pushing the boundary of your waistband, he finds time in his schedule to see his dad—and then mitsuki makes time for him to see her.
katsuki tells toshinori next, who becomes quite emotional at the sight of your ultrasound, which in turn makes katsuki surprisingly emotional, too. there's much that they say and even more that they don't, but it's all communicated, regardless.
and lastly—he has to tell his nerd-ass friends.
it happens on one of their bi-monthly outings—that katsuki has consecutively been skipping for a little while, for obvious reasons. and it's like the minute he sits down in his seat and orders his food and one beer, everything he'd planned to say dissolves in his head.
despite wanting to keep quiet, he's been trying to plot out his announcement to these exact shit heads since the moment you found out. it's just so personal, and even after everything, katsuki's still discovering how to share those parts of his life with others, still coming to terms with the fact that he wants to.
he'd considered doing it slowly, rather than all at once in front of all of them, but he very quickly realized how terrible of a plan that was; deku would not physically be able to contain such knowledge in his body for any period of time, kirishima is a notorious fucking gossip, and if shouto had given him some kind of shit ass, wrinkled-nose look, he would have had to howitzer him through a building.
so he just says it, because he's never really been one for subtlety.
right after everyone's received their food and started to take their first bites, denki makes a point to ask,
"how's things with your honeybun, kacchan?"
and normally he'd have a fit at the nickname, but instead he hears bun and feels his stomach flip like it does when he remembers, when silly little things remind him of what the two of you have made together, and into his food, he simply says,
"we're havin' a baby."
the expected silence falls over all of them, save for the scaping of utensils against katsuki's bowl. he's damn good at feigning nonchalance, but food is getting stuck in his throat and his heart is beating so hard that he can hear it deep in his eardrums. of course he knows, but it dawns on him again, how overrun he is with excitement.
across the table, denki takes his turn to speak again. "you're...what?"
and then the whole room is erupting into a mass of chaos, moving in pieces like a riot of unrefined children, and even though he's being hounded with a million questions and being shaken around by his shoulders and some of these assholes are crying—katsuki graces them all with a big, fat grin.
#hehehehehe#he knows he's playing it up heheheheh#kirishima immediately bursts into happy tears#deku knew something was up already#shouto asks 'on purpose?' and when katsuki sends him a death glare his lips twitch up hehehehe#deku starts crying#denki tries to make a dirty joke to hide his own emotions but when katsuki sends HIM a death glare#the tears do spill over a little bit LOL#✿ thoughts: bakugou#✿ theme: dad bakugou#cw children#cw pregnancy
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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