#he's such a curious character... very intriguing to me particularly about how he was created

[misha-v]

stupid pissman

[dododan]

Thoughts about Alastor after the episode "Hello, Rosie"

Perhaps first such a small summary for those who haven't read my previous posts about Alastor.

Alastor's deal with someone has worked out. Officially we don't know with whom, but my theory is that it is Lilith.

Alastor is obliged by the contract probably to help/protect Charlie. His intentions are not clear, and he harbours many secrets.

He is not fond of Lucifer. Theories are that he either sees him as a threat to Charlie's hotel and dreams, or he is redirecting negative emotions about his own father and how Lucifer treated Charlie onto him.

Alastor enjoys being in the company of women and probably likes/appreciates Charlie. Perhaps he sees himself as her mentor.

His help, although chaotic and initially incomprehensible seems to be having an effect and actually helping the hotel and Charlie.

Alastor has a weakness for jazz and alcohol, but we don't see him ever drinking alcohol in the series.

His enemy is Vox, but he is more annoyed by Lucifer (probably because he is stronger than him).

Alastor doesn't like to lose or be wrong.

Here you have a link to previous thoughts if you are curious.

Alastor’s true motivations? - Why is he helping Charlie?

Dad beat Dad - Alastor, what the hell are you doing?

Traditionally, there are loads of spoilers here!

From the outset, Alastor seems interested/intrigued by Charlie sitting in the room and spinning another plan. Clearly he saw an opportunity in. Charlie was alone, so he could talk to her in peace. A plan was already forming in his head.

On Instagram, one girl made a fair analysis of Alastor's facial expressions. What expression on his face signifies what emotion. Which proved to be very helpful in understanding him! Here you have ig: @/sasha_draws.bg She did a really great job! But back to Alastor.

When Alastor feels some negative emotion, lines/wrinkles appear under his eyes. Which is true when you pay attention to the previous episodes, but in this 'Hello, Rosie' it is particularly noticeable.

For most of the time in this episode, Alastor seemed concerned to me.

When Alastor was talking to Charlie I had the impression that he was provoking her. He made Charlie painfully aware of how badly her plans had failed, which seems cruel. Initially this could be understood as simply an opportunity to take advantage of Charlie and make a deal, but I think this is just an added benefit. Alastor is bound by his contract to the hotel and Charlie, so he can't leave her. But Alastor has besides made Charlie realise that she can't idly brood on the bed because she doesn't have that luxury. Her friends were waiting for a plan, they were waiting for Charlie.

Charlie gave up at that point, and Alastor made her realise that there was still a chance to make things right somehow. He exasperated her, and showed her that she couldn't give up - in a rather cruel way but still, it's not always kind words or words of support that help you up.

Sometimes the painful realisation of the truth is the best motivator to undertake change.

For a moment, Alastor seemed annoyed that Charlie thought she had him figured out because she smiles all the time. He made her realise that the opposite is true.

A smile can be a weapon on many fronts. You could say that he gave Charlie some cue about his own behaviour. His lecture about smiling shows a lot about him.

Alastor hides a lot - his emotions, motivations or goals. He revealed to Charlie that he himself puts on a mask. The smile gives Alastor a sense of control.

The question is, isn't Alastor also lying to himself in this way?

He is creating himself as a cruel overlord, a person without a conscience who inflicts suffering on others for fun. It makes me wonder if he hasn't started to believe himself in the character he wants to pretend to be?

Nevertheless, no matter how good Alastor's goals may be attributed to him, or that his actions have a good effect on the hotel and Charlie, he still made a deal with her. He was aware that Charlie would not give up her soul to him and would not do anything against herself. Their deal is that Charlie is to help him like friend to friend when he needs it without hurting anyone, and he will give her information. Quite a specific arrangement and very narrow. To me their deal is a bit of a lifeline for Alastor when he finds himself trapped by his own contract.

[As an aside, I've noticed that a lot of people think that the stitches appearing on Alastor's lips are a sign that he can't talk about his deal. I doubt this because of the design of his character. Alastor was shown at many points to be dealing with voodoo or somehow connected to it. This is indicated by the green symbols that appear when he uses his powers, and the stitching that appears on his mouth probably refers to the very design of the voodoo dolls, which also had their mouths stitched in this way. Ironically in my opinion, voodoo is generally good magic, focusing on healing or helping, which doesn't really fit Alastor. Unless one considers the distinction between white and black magic as it is known in New Orleans. But I also point out that I'm not an expert, but I'm just partly familiar with the subject of voodoo and just wanted to show a reference to Alastor's appearance here].

I think Alastor's worry or uncertainty is most evident when he leads Charlie to Rossie. You can see the look on his face and those wrinkles under his eyes. This could be interpreted as:

he's upset that the angels are about to exterminate in the hotel and the only person who can oppose it is preoccupied with his love problems rather than more important matters.

He is upset/worried that he realises he won't be able to help Charlie this time, so he leads her to the only person who is more knowledgeable about love than him: Rossie.

He is nervous because he sees that he might fail if the hotel is destroyed, and that this might somehow breach his contract.

Alastor and Rossie seem to have a very intimate relationship, which was implied in the episode " Scrambled Eggs" when they were at the Overlords meeting. Now we have confirmation that they are very close friends. Rossie can afford a lot in Alastor's company and he allows her to do so. It also seemed to me that when he met Rossie he relaxed a bit, as the wrinkles under his eyes disappeared for a few scenes.

All in all, I'm not surprised that Alastor and Rossie are friends.

Rossie is the opposite of Alastor in a way. She seems transparent in her feelings and genuinely cares about her cannibals. But she also has the strength and power to allow herself to do so. Alastor, on the other hand, plays and hides emotions all the time, and gains power through fear. Despite this, he gets along very well with Rossie, which may mean he's not quite what he makes himself out to be.

I also think that Rossie's words about it being actions that show true nature and feelings may apply to Alastor and his role in season two in the future. But we can already see this now, for example, in the fact that his duet with Lucifer, where Alastor sang that he wanted to replace Charlie's father, ultimately led to a reconciliation between daughter and father which Alastor seemed to be happy with.

We also have it made clear that Alastor is asexual.

Rossie commented that Alastor could learn manners from Charlie. It is possible that what is meant is that when someone annoys Alastor, he does not mince his words. He makes his opinion clear - Susan is a perfect example of this.

Alastor and Rossie really seem close to each other, such as when they look at each other when Charlie panics, or how they dance with each other or their negativity towards Susan. Additionally, Alastor must have had a close business relationship with Rossie since she had an assignment for him and when she said that he never let her down. I got the impression that this gave him considerable satisfaction. Plus it helped the image he wanted to create for Charlie - that he was reliable.

Alastor also seems to put his faith in Charlie after all. Rather than believing in her plan of salvation for sinners, he believes more in the girl's ability to draw crowds and motivate people to action other than through fear or deals. It is hard to say whether he admires this trait of Charlie's, but he certainly appreciates her for it.

Alastor supported Charlie during her song when she had to convince the cannibals to fight - either by giving her the microphone or showing her a thumbs up. I further related that he was slightly worried/nervous, but also pleased after seeing his actions bear fruit.

Alastor also made it clear to Rossie that he valued Charlie and expected nothing less from her than to thrill the crowds. But the important thing is that he referred to her as the Princess of Hell, not Charlie. Alastor has made it clear for the first time that he wants to fulfil Charlie's potential, this shows that despite the faith he has in her, he still only sees her as the Princess of Hell and not Charlie as someone who is more than just a princess.

A break for now, as it's quite late at my place, so expect the rest of the analysis tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow at the furthest.

[skylaryozora]

Hey!! I know my question will be basic, but if you had to rate winx ships (Musa&Riven, Flora&Helia, Stella&Brandon, Tecna&Timmy, Aisha&Nabu, Bloom&Sky) in a scale from your favourite to your least favourite, how would it be?? I am just curious haha. By the way, your art is so amazing!!

Hello anon! Oh, no, it's not basic at all, I think I have actually never rated Winx ships before, so maybe it's high time for me to do a personal ranking. And thank you so much for appreciating my art!

Musa and Riven - I mean, it's not a shocker if you've been following me on IG or here on Tumblr. They have always interested me the most, for numerous reasons. I sometimes like to think they are the example of "she fell first, but he fell harder". It wasn't obvious they will become a couple in S1, but already then Riven was given a chance to face his demons which was intriguing to see since he's a secondary character after all, but it showed a side of him which then foretold his development later on in the series. In S2 they have a slow, gradual progression which ends with a dramatic, emotional kiss. In S3 and S4 they do have ups and downs which seem to stand out, and because of that people tend to focus very often on the downs. Unfortunately, the show's writing leaves a lot to be desired, and it did them dirty because I'm of the opinion that Musa should have realized she also needs to work on herself to ease the unnecessary tension in this relationship which more often that not stems from poor communication. Riven does have a substantial character development in S4, and I'd love Musa to grow too and understand that she could become an emotional sanctuary for him. If I were to try to sum up why I am particularly fond of them, it's because of this special depth and potential in their relation: two emotional wrecks with tough childhood and traumas subconsciously feel they would understand each other very well, but instead clash due to communication issues, and yet they crave each other and so should make an effort to understand each other better, in order to create a one of a kind, thriving relation. Of course I do have my headcanons which have an impact on my view of them, and I would write a lot of things differently (I constantly come up with something while rewatching). Anyway, watching a seemingly unadjusted couple becoming well-adjusted to each other over time is simply something that fascinates and satisfies me.

Aisha and Nabu - Another interesting one, and also not so obvious at the beginning. What makes them similar to Musa and Riven is that they also seem to have lonely and sad childhood. Single and happy throughout S2, Aisha was devastated to know she was supposed to end up in an arranged marriage with a guy she doesn't even know. At that time her animosity towards men is even more intense, and her relation with Nabu started... unpromisingly, because Nabu was spying on her. Of course the spying was without malicious intentions, because he wanted to see and learn something more about his future fiancee before approaching her, but that still left a poor first impression, especially because he was exposed in the public. As S3 goes on, Nabu turns out to be a trustworthy wizard who also eventually confesses to Aisha about his fleeing from Andros and reveals his real name, and admits how wrong it was to spy on Aisha. All of that makes her soften and she develops strong feelings for him. In S4 they don't stir unnecessary drama when it's revealed guys went to Earth to provide additional protection for Winx, but they cherish their time together to the fullest. I noticed that this relationship made Aisha go from being in masculine energy (S2/23) to more feminine energy (S4). I dare say that if it hadn't been for Nabu and if she had been single at the beginning of S4, I'm pretty sure she would have also lashed out at guys for "not trusting them that they're fine on their own". Instead, when guys arrive once again to help them, Aisha radiates pure joy and shouts "NABU! I'm so happy to see you again! (...) It's all good now that you're here!", which shows how much in love she's with him, and that she has no problem being dependent or receiving help from a guy anymore. They had quite a lot of screentime in S3 which made me attached to them, and in S4 they're the strongest ray of sunshine among all the couples in my opinion (I won't talk about how this relationship ended ;-;).

Stella and Brandon - Their S4 drama left a scar on my view on their relationship, but apart from that they're really precious and do have potential to be like Morticia and Gomez Addams, who are often referred to as couple goals. They are both flirtatious and deeply in love with each other. Stella doesn't give a fluff about Brandon's lower social status, and she's always happy to see him. In S2 she was dead serious about rescuing Brandon whatever and however long it took, while Sky (Brandon's best friend) didn't seem to be concerned about him at all... In S3 Brandon made her realize he and other people love her for who she is, not for her looks. There are probably more things I want to say about them, but can't remember them now, so let me just say that in my eyes they ooze an aura of lightness and authenticity which I guess is what makes them pleasant to watch.

Tecna and Timmy - Some say that the majority of Timmy's personality is centered around being Tecna's boyfriend, and I kinda agree with it, because again we know little to nothing about Timmy's background. Surely he has a lot of common with Tecna, and that's basically their passion towards IT, computers, logic, and all of that. We fortunately got some insight into how Timmy feels about Tecna when she was gone for a while, and Timmy's tearful confession about Tecna's being his best friend made my heart melt. While watching S4, I noticed Tecna softened a lot since she's with Timmy, and contrary to expectations, they are fine with public display of affection. I don't have a lot more to say about them, but I do think they are interesting: a serious, overly-logical tech geek meets an awkward, shy tech geek, and there we go, a relationship blooms. You could say that common passion brought them together.

Flora and Helia - These two are both very romantic and they match aesthetic-wise, but ngl due to little screentime, they are quite forgettable to me XD at one point I seriously forgot that Helia exists even though he already was Flora's boyfriend. That notwithstanding, I do like their first encounter which highlighted the fact that Flora noticed something about Helia's drawing which other people overlooked. She also gains her Charmix thanks to mustering enough courage to confess her attraction to him. But then again, Helia isn't much more than just Flora's boyfriend when you think about how the show is written, and as any other guy (maybe apart from Sky xD) deserves to have his background and personality explained more.

Bloom and Sky - Well, I think I'm just tired of them. In the series they have a lot of screentime (two first movies are basically centered around these two), but I feel like despite all the spotlight they got little development. I certainly don't like that Sky likes to invent problems and disappear out of the blue, ghosting Bloom and giving her emotional rollercoasters, while she acts naive and too forgiving towards him. I do find them overly sweet to my taste as well. They do have their good sides too, of course, (e.g. Sky does support Bloom a lot when she feels down, provided he's by her side at the moment), but in my eyes there is just too much of them.

And what's your ranking? Comment below!

[creative-crybaby]

Thanks a lot for indulging into my fantasies I loved the little drabble you did of them😭😭.

I just checked you're an INFJ so I'm guessing you know bout the mbti types. I've always wanted to see some mbti personality mixed in fanfics, you know. Very very self indulgent ask of me but if you're willing to humour lil ol' me(a girl can dream big) I'd ask for your thoughts on entp reader(basically Kuroo's type) X characters.

Sakusa is what's on my mind specifically since I barely see content on entp X istj, (that also brings me to the idea of sakuatsu but I can't ask for so many things at once so I'll just leave that for later) and ofc I'm can't for the good of my heart live without a bit yandere mixed into stuff so do spill your thoughts on this pairing (Imsosorryimjustsodeprivedbarewithmepls)

P.s. do tell me if my asks are being too much!!

So sorry for the delay!

Ngl the only reason I know my MBTI type is because I had to know it for a little in-class assignment (idk why and tbh I don't think the prof knew either). Just got a wee bit curious and took a peep at ENTP--pretty intrigued, honestly.

Note: I love when people send me asks, and people wanting content they can't often find isn't unreasonable. That said, if you want me to write a fic, that's a commission, to which you can DM me to discuss the specifics as well as the price. As much as I love writing, creating a whole story takes time and energy. Otherwise, I'm sticking to a drabble.

Upon doing my bit of research on the ENTP type, I immediately thought of sakuatsu, mainly because I can imagine Sakusa's irritation around the personality type (in an enemies-to-lovers way, ofc). However, we're also adding yandere shit into the mix (as we should), so I view the enemies-to-lovers dynamic to be the front Sakusa sets up to hide his true feelings. A mix of love (if you can call it that) and jealousy for being almost everything he isn't, he knows his thoughts of you would be frowned upon.

The wing-spiker can't say he's a fan of your rule-breaking and spontaneity--it's just begging for chaos to ensure, and with what he has to deal with from some of his teammates (you know the ones), he doesn't need any more of that. But those concerns are nothing compared to how he greatly admires your creativity (not that he'll ever admit it), and while he hides from crowds, you welcome them, though he can't say he particularly enjoys your attention being elsewhere (especially when other people are involved).

The fact that you're willing to interact even with him intrigues him. Dare I say, he wants you to come back, perking up when you call his name to start a conversation. Sure, you do most of the talking, but he's more than willing to listen, so long as you don't notice his staring, or that his thoughts are stuck on you, morphing farther away from innocent. At least you don't suspect anything malicious when you catch him zoned out. He'll scoff at your teasing if it means keeping you unaware of his true desires.

Now he's listening in on more conversations, even the ones that he's not in. He hates crowds, but he'll deal with them if it means seeing your lips curl upwards while you talk. He's just looking over you, of course. He's seen how others look at you--the curses of having charisma, he supposes. Keeping them in line is the least he can do for you.

That excuse doesn't work when you're home alone. You're talking on the phone--to whom, Sakusa couldn't care less. So long as you didn't have a partner, he'll gladly watch you go on about your day from his little hiding spot. Learning whatever he can, hoping to somehow bring it up in your next conversation without drawing any suspicion. Maybe you'll come back to him more often afterwards, grow closer until your feelings match his. He's willing to change for you if it works, if you'll stick around a second longer.

Just a little longer.

[kaus-quietis]

The circus bookclub - The Letter Killer Club, by Sigizmund Krzhizhanovsky

There are some authors I simply cannot get enough of, and Sigizmund Krzhizhanovsky is one of them. In this first ever edition of this new bookclub, here in the circus, I'll share with you my most recent read of him! And what more fitting title than The Letter Killer Club to introduce the bookclub, right?

Hello there! I'm the circus resident poltergeist, Eliott, managing this blog until Lav comes back. Here in the circus bookclub I share with you my most recent reads/amazing books I wish everyone would pick up one day!

Sigizmund Krzhizhanovsky is an Ukrainian author born in 1887 in Kyiv, who died in Moscow in 1950. He wrote his works in russian language, and was little published in his lifetime: most of his works were published posthumously.

The Letter Killer Club is a short novel (approx. 100-150pages according to the publisher/language of translation) written in 1926. Its story revolves around the life of a Club, the Letter Killer Club, run by 7 individuals. The story starts when they welcome an 8th member, a writer intrigued by the peculiar people seeing each other once a week, in a quiet room lit by the fireplace.

In the Letter Killer Club, the members think that writing their ideas on paper would denature them. In their philosophy, ideas stay pure when they only stay to this stage: ideas. Every week, the members of the club tell each other their book ideas, scenarios, without ever writting them on paper. Each week, one member speaks. This is how the seven chapters of this book are organized, by the story of one individual, followed or interrupted by the occasionnal remarks or conversations around it (reminding me of Marguerite de Navarre's Heptameron, if some of you are familiar with french late medieval literature here). In these stories, Krzhizhanovsky seems to always explore a philosophical thought, or ideas about literature and what it is to be a writer. This is, according to me, part of what makes this book so interesting to read.

These stories are strange, almost metaphysical at times, funny and tragic. I will not go in details about them so you can fully enjoy this book, should you decide to read it, but what striked me in The Letter Killer Club is how well balanced Krzhizhanovsky's writing was, between telling the stories and the characters of the Club themselves. With very few elements, Krzhizhanovsky succeeds in creating a particular atmosphere, one that engulfs you and makes you feel like you are seated there, amongst them, almost as a 9th member of this strange reunion.

Krzhizhanovsky is an incredible writer. These themes of the idea vs. writing it, putting it on paper, what it is to write, to have ideas, to be a writer, are extremely present in most of his works, but they seem to be particularly explored in this one. During his lifetime, while he wasn't much published, Krzhizhanovsky was very present in literary circles, and therefore certainly involved in many philosophical discussions of what it meant to be a writer at that time. This shows in his works, and he explores these questions in a very clever way.

Krzhizhanovsky's writing is demanding and his ideas need some thinking and time to be well reflected upon, but I believe his works are extremely interesting if you ever want to explore more of the literature of his time. Often using fantastic elements or situations to convey his ideas, his writing is a clever mix of fantastic, abstract, absurd and reflection on writing itself.

I hope this made you curious about this author's works! Krzhizhanovsky has written many short stories as well, and these are also great if you ever want to give a chance to reading his writing.

Sources : his wikipedia page for the bio / goodreads for the english edition of the letter killer club

[tharizdun-03]

Hyouka Watchthrough

Episode 1: The Esteemed Classics Club has been Restored

Pleasantly surprised by how good the direction is. The show looks great in general too, even for KyoAni (even for KyoAni 10 years ago).

Narratively, this was solid. Mystery-solving is an interesting quirk. Not sure how that'll hold up over 22 eps but I get the feeling this will be more about them wasting time anyway with the mysteries as frosting on the whole thing, so probably not a problem.

Characterization is strong. You immediately get a feel of what they're all like. Horeki, is a typical trope, you know the loner, but I mean, it's not like it can't be done right, so we'll see. Satoshi with his database thing, Chitanda being curious. There's potential. 

Opening is cool.

The only real weird thing is the ED, where they're dressed in erotic baby clothes??? Odd choice, but it does look good. 

Episode 2: Activities of the Esteemed Classics Club

She is cute.

She is cute as well. 

Love how her arm extends beyond what should be possible to grab Oreki. Lots of good visual comedy in this show, as expected.

Good direction in this episode as well. I was particularly fond of the restaurant metaphor, and intrigued that they lingered on the shot of the librarian walking past the camera even when it wasn't necessary to do so (later on ofc it also makes sense why they lingered on the librarian and her nametag, with the succeeding mystery in mind, so clever foreshadowing).

This episode's mystery wasn't really interesting, but not quite boring either. This show is obviously more interested in just spending time with the characters as they waste time, and luckily, there's nobody better at that than KyoAni.

Episode 3: Inheritors of the Classics Club and Its Circumstances

EP 3 was an improvement on the first two. The direction is even more playful, and the mystery was the most interesting one yet.

First, I thought, "oh, he's probably hiding porn". But then they deduced he wanted to ventilate out a smell, and my mind was still set on the porn route, so the natural next step was the smell of semen? But he had to open windows AND use a fan? How much did he masturbate? Like, good god dude, control yourself a little bit.

But, enough about how my mind processes things lol. The show isn't doing much yet, but I'm just liking the mood. But, if not each mystery is strong, it could walk on that line of being almost boring, but I think we're slowly working up to something more significant here.

Episode 4: Past Days of the Classics Club and Its Glory

Hyouka continues to improve with EP 4. It's very much a mood piece, this show. I'm feeling it's less so (as of now) based around the character interactions like some of KyoAni's other SoL's, and more about the atmosphere the mysteries and discussions around them create.

That's not to say there isn't substance and charm to the character interactions, but it's not as solely focused on that as many of KyoAni's shows, this is more atmosphere oriented in another manner. if I'm making sense? I think we'll get more character meaty later too.

And again, Ibara is just so cute, I love her design. Also, lovely jeans overalls? I've always liked when girls wore those. They’re cute as shit.

Also, Oreki getting lost when he only had one direction, walk straight lol.

I'd be remiss, of course, to not mention the presentation here. Again, it's just stunning. KyoAni puts their heart and soul into every little detail.

Episode 5: The Truth of the Classics Club and Its Past

Really good episode.

Now that we've practically completed the first arc in the series, I can't say any particular element in the story blows me away, so if there's a bad mystery the entire narrative will suffer for it, but I do think it's just doing a really solid job at everything so far. 

So, yeah. I think it just comes down to KyoAni's exceptional execution again, but I certainly hope the mysteries keep being worthwhile, and that the characters keep deepening as well.

Episode 6: To Commit a Deadly Sin

EP 6 really took the idea of the show just being about kids wasting time with mysteries to the next level. It's a more low-key episode, but it's still amusing like the rest. Always pleasant to spend time with the characters. KyoAni is kinda good at this stuff, after all.

And, to be honest, dissecting random topics and thoughts (usually instigated by me) to death is practically all I do with my friends, so I totally see myself in them. It's oddly comforting, I suppose.

Episode 7: Seeing the True Identity

Loved Hyouka's 7th episode! The most engaging mystery so far (it's easy to lure me in with the challenge to explain the most seemingly unexplainable things, the supernatural being the epitome there), and it's the most in-depth look we've gotten into Oreki's head too.

I can't say all the mysteries in the show are super engaging, or that the characters are anything special, but it's all very pleasant, and it's like I said before. Hyouka is more a mood-oriented show, it's selling the feeling of the entire package, and it's succeeding at that.

That said, I do still think we got some nice Hotarou stuff, how his cynical perspective of "all ghosts are just withered flowers" was challenged in the end either way. And some shipping! We get that as well, which is always appreciated.

No shame on Houtarou, as this has happened to me, twice actually, but the fact that he actually passed out from just being so horny his body couldn't physically handle him staying conscious throughout it lol. A pitfall of his energy-conserving lifestyle perhaps.

Blessings. 

Episode 8: Let's Go to the Screening!

EP 8 seems to be the beginning of a second major story arc, huh.

The opening texting scene was interesting. It was framed as "suspicious". I suspect that the author of the script is actually in on this (cause even if she's sick, why couldn't she just tell them the answer?). Also, that you can tell it's Chitanda through the texts lol.

Very well done KyoAni, when it came to making their short film as amateurish as possible, with all the flat framing, bad acting, and camera movement that barely captures the stuff it's supposed to lol.

I'm finding myself consistently enamored by Satoshi. He mentioned earlier in the episode that even with his being a database, he isn't talented enough to do anything special with it, and the fact that he seems to envy Oreki (giving him the Strength tarot). 

I am very much enjoying this show. Again, it's so easy to see me and my friend group in these kids, so I often just get pulled into that headspace when watching it now.

Episode 9: Murder Case in the Deserted Furuoka

EP 9 was interesting enough (tho not much happened) with the whole rejecting each proposed theory, cause they either break against mystery rules or just aren't narratively satisfying, but why don't they just ask the author? She's sick, not dead.

Now, yes, obviously that's the actual mystery, hence the episode title being, “Why Didn’t She Ask Eba?”, but why haven't our characters realized this yet? They don't seem to care too much about all this anyway tbh.

We have a little fun gag with Chitanda getting drunk on whiskey chocolates, which I was concerned about since it's school, and they're underage, which did get out of hand, but it just heightens Chitanda's cuteness. 

Speaking of Chitanda, Houtarou here doesn't really act until Chitanda isn't sastified, cause she's his audience. It's not about finding bulletproof logic, usually mysteries aren't like that anyway, it's about satisfying the reader.

I thought this was an interesting moment, cause it seems like Chitanda should be really into mystery stories, so why isn't she? She's not much about deducing stuff herself, but I mean, the detective character usually does that. Maybe I'm missing something?

Another interesting moment was finding out Satoshi likes mystery novels (another hint that he's jealous of Houtarou's deductive capabilities?). 

And Mayaka getting offended on his behalf is very cute.

Episode 10: What No One Noticed

Another good episode. Having a solution where the cameraman is the killer is very creative (tho not compatible with traditional mystery rules). Satoshi continues to be really interesting, there's subtext in everything he says. Ofc, one twist is left in store for the arc.

Episode 11: End Credits of the Fool

That concludes Hyouka's movie mystery arc. It was a bit long, and a bit overdramatic by the end, but I think it all served a larger theme in the end, and that was more so the point. We got some Houtarou good stuff, along with a well-constructed mystery, so good overall.

Episode 11.5 (OVA): What Should Be Had

This was fun. It's just pleasant spending time with the characters. I was wondering if they could involve a mystery somehow, and they did (tho even I figured this one out quick). And a pool episode with attractive characters is always nice.

Episode 12: Practically Piled to the Ceiling

Great episode! Finally, the culture festival is here, and it's difficult to think of it as having been better done than here. It's just an excuse for KyoAni to show off (the breakdancing and NO CG CROWDS), and truly have the characters just "waste time."

As interesting as the mysteries can be, this is more my jam, when it comes to Hyouka at least. And there's just so much happening here, and we focus more on the characters other than Oreki this time, and their interactions with all the events, it's lovely.

The breakdancing was great, I loved Satoshi's Saturn costume and how he immediately wrecked it, and Chitanda continuously getting distracted is literally me lol. This is a really effective way to make me more emotionally invested and make the characters more loveable. 

Also, GODDAMN IT, Mayaka is cute.

Loved the visuals for the new opening, showing metaphorically how Chitanda causes Oreki to step away from the observer role and actively engage with the life around him.

The new ED is super cute too.

Episode 13: A Corpse by Evening

Hyouka's Culture Festival arc continues to be a joy. Love how the characters are all over the place so we get to see all these new sides to them, and allows KyoAni to pop off by bringing all these events to life with insane detail. This type of SoL vibes with me more.

The two presenters during the quiz show (my favourite scene in this episode) brought their A-game to this. Comedy gold. 

And Mayaka debating media experiences. Gooo drag her slay queen!

Mayaka was already plenty likable, but I think exploring her passion like this, especially as I share this passion of hers, makes her even more loveable.

As mentioned tho, while I like the mysteries in this show, this is working a bit better for me in terms of investment and is a smart move since I'm expecting the climax of the show to give us some emotional payoffs that'll hit harder with this set-up.

Episode 14: Wildfire

I'm convinced. This is the best culture festival I've seen in anime.

oh my god is that a reference to the hit visual novel 'The House in Fata Morgana'????

She is so cute i almost can't stand it.

Chitanda striking that Mugi pose (on that note, crazy that Chitanda and Ritsu share the same voice actor).

This arc is leaps and beyond what's come before in this show. I'm really loving it. Yes, we still got a mystery, but it's more of a fun one in the backdrop, and that's how I like it. Also, shout out to the OST in this episode. And, ofc, Oreki being adorable. He does care.

I was also particularly impressed by a bunch of the directorial tricks in this episode, so I looked it up, and what do you know, it's Naoko Yamada's episode, because of course. 

Episode 15: The Juumonji Incident

And with EP 15, Hyouka's Kanya Festival arc goes for a more serious turn. I do find so far that the series is doing less for me the more it focuses on its mysteries, but by all means, this was a well-executed episode nonetheless.

We still get some character stuff, of course. Hyouka never leaves that out. We really see here now how Satoshi isn't actually satisfied with only being a database, and wants to solve the mystery for once.

In the meantime, Mayaka's dynamics with the manga club is establishing her as a bit more of an independent character herself. Oreki is mostly in the background in this arc (altho he does find out that he can order products from the festival online, happy for my boy) and Chitanda does her best to help the Classic Lit club in her own special little way. 

This arc is more and more seeming to be about Satoshi and Mayaka finding their place in the world.

Episode 16: The Last Target

And Hyouka's Kanya Festival arc keeps it up with EP 16, delivering on the best slice of life, mystery-setting, and character development the series has seen so far.

While Oreki (whose PoV we still always return to) and Chitanda (who might not offer much complexity but is always busy with something) are still around, they've really taken a backseat for Mayaka and Satoshi to shine.

With Mayaka we see a more vulnerable side to her as she deals with the bullying in her club, and with Satoshi, we see him try to grab the spotlight and actually solve a mystery but still fail at it. He's a sweet guy, but there is anger there, and I fear it might burst. 

Also, literally Umineko.

Episode 16: Kudryavka's Order

And EP 17 marks the end of Hyouka's Kanya Festival arc. What a very elegant arc. The series high point, if you ask me. Impressive just how much was accomplished here, and how every layer of the narrative and characters ties back to the central theme; the curse of expectations.

Episode 18: Are the Mountains Sunny?

EP 18 is back to formula, and ngl, the Kanya Festival arc raised the bar so high that I kinda want a bit more plot again. Quirky, fun little one-off eps like this are pleasant enough, but oh well.

The most interesting thing about this episode is Houtarou. The character development in this show really is slow and subtle and you almost don't notice it, but it's there.

Houtaro has likely always been curious but just rarely acts on it, which is why he's used Chitanda and his sister as an excuse to force him to act, for example, but he's doing it himself now. He's growing. Slowly, but steady.

Episode 19: Anyone Who Knows

EP 19 was probably the best standalone episode so far. I'd still want some more meat for these final set of episodes, but can't lie and say I wouldn't respect the hell out of it if it's just lowkey stuff like this the entire way through. This was super fun.

I was honestly amazed by just how much information they deduced from a 5-second announcement alone. Hyouka is definitely unique, no other show could do this, or would even attempt to.

It's funny how the series has returned to the structure the first half had, but now with a different Oreki who's grown. Also worth noting, once Oreki starts, he ends up really trying anyway cause he hates being wrong.

But, he also just enjoys spending time with Chitanda so much that what they're doing specifically isn't important enough to remember. And on that note, boy was there some sexual tension here.

Overall just an extremely well-structured episode with plenty of good character moments (Oreki asking Chitanda about the funeral, and being willing to go with her to Jun's grave) and filled with all types of visual shots to keep things engaging on that level. Great stuff.

Episode 20: Sappy New Year

Not always a lot to talk about when it comes to Hyouka, but EP 20 was another pleasant one. I'm gonna miss this show. I really hope we follow up on Satoshi and Mayaka's character arcs from the Kanya Festival tho, cause so far, it just kinda feels like they've been reset. (also look at Oreki’s coat fucking badass)

The mystery in this episode was probably the worst one, yeah, but believable enough that it didn't hinder my enjoyment or anything. And spending time with these characters is always nice enough to just overshadow some of that.

Episode 21: The Chocolate Files

FANTASTIC EPISODE! Hyouka is one of those shows where the character development is there, but it's so subtle that it takes its time before it gets up to the surface, but it's always present in their actions if paid attention. Satoshi is the prime example of this.

Did I not say at the beginning that Satoshi seems like the most interesting character, that there was stuff beneath the surface? Did I not praise the introspection we got from him (and Mayaka) during the Kanya Festival arc? Did I not ask for a conclusion to that arc yesterday?

Yes, I fucking did, and this show answered my prayers. And I am so thankful that the payoffs we got here wasn’t grand emotional outburts, but quiet mundane wexecution wise. I also watched Toradora this year so haha. 

But, really, what we have here, in its most stripped essence, is Satoshi's fear of commitment. But, done in a really unique manner. Satoshi is afraid of commitment because he overcommits.

Satoshi explains how he eventually gave up being perfect (represented wonderfully by the uneven snowball) and is now instead just obsessed with not being obsessed, which is of course, still an obsession.

Yes, Satoshi. It might give you some temporary happiness, but you haven't gotten rid of the root problem, which still affects your relationships negatively.

We know from the Kanya Festival arc that Satoshi still cares if he loses. He certainly tries to let that go, but it still hurts. He hasn't truly grown up, he's just sweeping things under the rug (which Mayaka to an extent already knows, cause she just knows him that well).

The possibility of obsessing over Sayaka to the degree that it can bring back his old tendencies is a legitimate fear of Satoshi that has been present in his characterization from day one.

And, you know, obviously, he can't toy with Mayaka's feelings like this, but maybe, for now, he shouldn't be with Mayaka. Until he's grown up enough, maybe he shouldn't invest in another person like that, but just enjoy their presence platonically.

But, that does not give him an excuse to hurt other people's feelings. And, while we didn't hear what his conversation with Mayaka would be about (and I suspect we won't follow up on this in the next episode cause the implication is enough),it's pretty safe to guess that he's made the first step towards emotional accountability; confesses to Mayaka about all his insecurities and stops treating her so selfishly. 

He still has some growing up to do, but he'll get there, and Mayaka is obviously a girl of patience.

Episode 22: Doll in the Distance

Hyouka's finale was a fantastic and very satisfying end to the series. Beautifully encapsulated just how much these characters have grown, and how they'll continue to grow. Spring has only just begun.

I feel a bit empty after that tbh. That's proof a series has left its mark on me. There's a lot to talk about, all my thoughts are jumbled up in my head, but let's try.

I loved the soft-focus image they used when Oreki is captivated by Chitanda.

And I also love the spinning slow pan around him and Chitanda as they were walking together after the festival.

We also checked in quickly with Mayaka and Satoshi, and we got the impression that they were doing alright. Satoshi is finally being honest with her, and they're still friends, but they'll get to that next stage eventually when they're both ready.

And then we come to Oreki and Chitanda. They both practically proposed to each other here lol. Chitanda showed him her future and what she plans to do with her life, basically an open invitation for Oreki to join her and what he'll get by doing so. And he imagines it.

He imagines asking her if it'd be okay to stay by her side and help her. But he's not there quite yet. But even the fact that he imagined it is big growth on his part. He'll get there. They're 16. Ofc the show will end open-ended, their lives are open-ended at that point.

Hyouka is a great show by all means, but it was not always great. Never bad, but uneven. When it was at the top of its game, particularly the Kanya Festival arc and these last two episodes, it was superb stuff. But then the rest varies in quality. Yet it was always fun.

But, and I mentioned this back in EP 1, Hyouka is all about atmosphere, so it's slow-build. It takes its time, and it's only by the end that you really realize everything the show accomplished and how invested you got.

And this slow build applies to the character writing as well, where the character development is so subtle and rarely explicitly commented upon, but you observe it in their behavior instead. Satoshi is still the prime example of this, but they all had fantastic arcs.

But, all in all, great show. It sneaks up on you, but it's a really unique one. And I'm happy it exists.

Overall Thoughts: 

Hyouka was great! Sophisticated and intelligent narrative, filled with emotional depth and subtlety in its character writing. It's a bit uneven, but its highs are sublime. The Kanya Festa arc is genius, and the ending is fantastic. What a unique show. I'll miss this one.

[call-sign-shark]

What a great continuation of this intriguing and addictive series. I’ve been waiting impatiently for this and oh boy it did not disappoint. Right from the start I know how you’ve settled a very slow pace, describing us the old routine she’s trying to getting back to while knowing Y/N belongs here. The contrast between the casual tone and the character’s secret is such a clever move because, just like Esme and Polly, we can feel that something is off with her (even if we know what it is, contrary to the two other women). This leads me to one detail I particularly appreciate in this part, besides John’s being an adorable, cheeky and annoying bastard, it’s how Esme and Polly often stares at her, or imply that something’s weird with her. It creates such a tension between the characters! Poor Y/N doesn’t have a chance against Aunt Pol, especially after Grace now that she’s been growing more wary of Tommy’s women.

“Did he hit you so hard on your head that you’ve gone mad?” I SHOULDNT HAVE BUT IT GOT ME LAUGHING SO BAD. This is so Tommy-coded.

With that being said, you’re doing wonderful at instilling a sense of tension and awkwardness between Tommy and YN. A tension bien not only out of her secret but also due to the obviouuuus attraction they have for each other. I think it’s pretty realistic to have them trying to be casual, talks about random stuff and then be silent again. Also, the whole scene in which YN is walking through the corridor and observing the numerous portraits is one I loved so much. It’s impressive how you manage to convey emotions in your characters’ dialogue. Like, I could practically hear the slight jealousy and bitterness in YN’s voice when she talked about Grace. Similarly, their sudden and passionate reunion felt natural — and so so relieving despite we know YN can’t stay. On another note I wonder how many parts this story will have. Like, will you end it soon or do you plan to write a long arch? I’m genuinely curious.

Back on the passionate make out, I must say that your smut is pristine. I always feel so awkward when I write stuff because I feel like I sound stupid but, gosh, you make it look so easy and beautiful! I enjoyed how much they were eager for each other after years of being parted. There was definitely an efficient feeling of desperate longing and sadness — like the love is still here but they both have been through awful events and bore the marks of trauma. Which finally leads me to the last thing I wanted o say… DAISY!! YOU DIDNT HAVE TO HURT MY HEART SO EARLY IN THE MORNING. 😭

I was convinced she would change her mind the moment she turned around and threw herself in Tommy’s arms. BUT NO. OF COURSE NO. Now I’m left wondering what will happen between them, what Tommy will do, and I fear David will hurt her because she failed to accomplish his orders!! 😭 That was such a wild ride babe, awesome job as always. I really can’t wait for more!

New Endings - Part 5

A/N: Once again, I'm so sorry that it took me a while but I hope you'll like it nonetheless! Also want to thank all of you for all the love on this serie, it means a lot! 🥰

Warnings: Lots of angst, mentions of a gun, swearing, smut (If you don't feel comfortable reading that part and decide to skip it, don't worry! You won't miss out on important details for the rest of the story!)

Word count: 6k

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS PART

What was supposed to be a new start turned into a day she dreaded. After Arthur brought her home and she had assured him many times that she was alright, she was alone in an empty house again. The silence that was almost deafening, made her realise even more what had happened. Her body broke down, the build up tension released itself in tears and uncontrollable cries of despair. The gun was still firmly pressed against her body and it felt as if it was burning a hole into her. A hole of guilt, fear and doubt.

She tried to distract herself by putting her groceries away and washing her new dress. It didn’t help as the tears kept coming and sobs kept leaving her mouth. Instead she dragged herself upstairs to hide the gun that felt like a burden clinging onto her body. David kept torturing her, even when he wasn't physically there. She looked around Tommy's room, desperate to find a place to make it disappear. It suddenly struck her, she was a betrayer. She was hiding a weapon meant for him in a place he was supposed to be safe. A room where she had made so many memories in and which she was now using against him.

It was as if her heart broke more and more as each second passed. She couldn't think straight and just wanted to get over with. She quickly hid it in the back of the drawer of his nightstand, covering it with the stuff he had left behind.

She decided to take a warm bath after, hoping that the water would calm her. It did, sort of. She gently took care of the roughed up spots where she could still feel David’s tight grip. She tried to wash away the feeling of him holding her but the forceful grip he had on her life didn't fade.

She’d spend some time in the tub before she dried herself and got ready for bed. All she wanted was to disconnect from reality, even if it was just for a little bit. While she snuggled into the blankets, her brain replayed the events of the day to the point where her tears ran down her face until she finally fell asleep.

Only a few hours had passed when sunrays crept trough the curtains, waking her. Her eyes were burning from the many tears that had left them. She dragged herself out of bed and changed her clothes. It was her first day at the betting shop and she needed to at least try to look decent. When she looked in the mirror, she noticed her puffy eyes and the dark circles underneath them. She tried to cover it with her make up although it didn’t made much of a difference. She took a deep breath and forced a smile on her face. Her reflection stared back at her from the mirror and no matter how hard she tried, her eyes didn’t match her bright smile. It was all she could do. She’d make up something if someone asked her questions, her situation gave her enough options for now.

When she entered the kitchen downstairs, there was already noise coming from the betting shop. While she was busy preparing her tea, her mind wandered back to time she used to work there, remembering how she always enjoyed it, maybe it would be good to be back.

Once her tea was ready, she took her cup and stood in front of the big doors that separated the kitchen and the shop. She took a deep breath, gathering some left over confidence before entering. “Good morning.” She smiled at Polly who leant against one of the tables. “Good morning, love.” She greeted her back, her curious brown eyes lingering on her as she returned the smile. “You remember Esme, right?” She wondered. (Y/N) nodded in response. “She’ll be helping you today. If needed of course, knowing you, you probably still know how it works.”

She chuckled at Polly’s remark. “I do but I’d like some help, just to be sure.” She kindly smiled at Esme as she sat down next to her. “How are you?” She asked her as she tried to make some kind of conversation with the other woman. She attended her and John’s wedding but not much later her and Tommy separated, so she never had the chance to get to know her that well. “I’m good.” Esme’s dark eyes scanned her face. “How are you?”

“I’m doing fine.” She smiled. “Excited to get back to work.” She added before both of them went trough the proceedings. A few things had changed, however, it was easy for her to get back into it.

A few people had already lined up in front of the entrance of the shop, eager to set their bets and in hopes of making more money. Esme got up as she checked the time on the clock. “Do you think it’s going to be busy today?” (Y/N) wondered as she looked at the woman in front of her. “No, I think you’ll have it easy.” She gave her a small smile as her eyes scanned over her once more. It gave (Y/N) an uneasy feeling but she decided to let it slide.

When the last costumer left the shop and she had locked the door, she realised how quick her day went by. Esme was right, it wasn't very busy but it was alright for her first day. She hadn't much time to worry and it felt good to be around other people again. While she tidied up her desk, footsteps came closer and John came in sight. "How did the new employee do?" He asked Esme, giving her a quick peck on her cheek before winking at (Y/N). "She did well." She smiled back at her husband. "Didn't expect anything else." He smiled. "How was it for you?"

"It is good to be back actually." (Y/N) chuckled while putting some books aside. "I'm glad, we're happy to have you around again." He shared with her. His words made her instantly feel guilty, suddenly very aware of the situation she found herself in. "Thank you." She smiled at him before quickly occupying herself with other chores. "Have you seen Pol? She needed something from me." He asked Esme. "She went upstairs."

"Alright." He answered before making his way up the stairs, his long coat flowing after him. While (Y/N) finished her other tasks, she caught Esme looking at her, before she could say something, Esme spoke up. “I don’t want to scare you but you have something… dark around you. It’s following you.” (Y/N) felt chills running over her back while keeping her gaze on the woman in front of her. “What do you mean?“ Esme shook her head slowly. “I don't know. It might have to do something with the past but it could be the future as well.”

Words got stuck in her throat, not knowing how to respond to it. "I-I guess it's the past." She quickly replied, not wanting to continue further on the topic. "But I'm trying to break free from it. I hope that dark... whatever it is, will stop following me then." She awkwardly chuckled. "I think you need to be careful. It's-" Esme was cut off by an enthusiast yell from John along with the creaking of the wooden stairs as he came down, Polly following him.

"Oi, (Y/N)! Before I forget, Tommy is sending someone to pick you up tonight. Heard you have a little dinner date." He teased, a big grin on his face. "Is that what he called it?" She asked him, knowing very well John made that up. "Do you want it to be?" He smirked. She rolled her eyes at his comment. "He just invited me over, think it's just about what my plans are."

"And what are your plans exactly?" He curiously asked as he sat on the edge of her desk. "I don't know yet." He nodded. "Well you should enjoy your date then, maybe the rekindling with my brother will help with your plans." He chuckled, getting Polly on his hand as well. "Please, shut up." She scoffed jokingly but slightly annoyed by his assumptions. "Don't you have to go?" She joked as John checked his pocket watch. "Well all jokes aside, we do actually." He turned to Esme. "You ready?" He asked as he hopped off the desk. She nodded. "Yes." She looked at both Polly and (Y/N). "See you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow." (Y/N)'s eyes lingered a little longer on Esme as they both left. "Something bothering you?" Polly wondered as she sat down on a chair in front of her. She turned her head in Polly's direction. "No, just thinking about today."

She could feel Polly's eyes burning into her skin. "I'm just going to be honest with you, there's something off about you the moment you walked in here." A lump started to form in her throat. "I didn't sleep much last night. Guess that's it."

"That's the only thing that could be it?" The older woman wondered, almost sounding sarcastic. "Yes." Polly shook her head. "When are you going to start being honest with us. All of us." Her voice sounded stern, as if she knew something. "I am. I have been since the beginning." She defended herself. "I know that there's more (Y/N)." Her brown eyes stared intensely at her, in a way that should be taken as a warning. "If you don't tell, I'll find it out myself."

The accusations turned her nervousness into anger. "Please do." She snapped. "I'm very curious what you come up with, if you can even find anything." She turned to walk to the door, done with the sudden change of the conversation. "I know what your husband does and I know who he's working with. He was here for a reason, one you know everything about."

Her body made her stop in front of the door, her hand resting on the door handle as Polly's words made her blood run cold. She bit the inside of her cheek before turning her head to look at the woman who was waiting for her reaction. "I don't know what you're talking about." She pushed the door handle down and disappeared into the house.

Darkness surrounded the car as it stopped in front of the doors of Arrow House. She thanked the driver before she got out and walked up the steps to reach the door. She decided to wear her newly bought dress, she loved it the minute she saw it and somewhere deep down in her heart she hoped Tommy would do the same. Besides that, it gave her a much needed boost of confidence that she could use.

Doubt arose within her as she wanted to knock, her hand resting on the door. She felt calm on the way here but now it suddenly turned into the nervousness she was almost getting used to. She needed to tell him something but the fear of his reaction made it hard. While she let the words play trough her head, a wave of sadness hit her. She didn’t want to but she had no other choice.

She filled her lungs with the air she desperately needed to calm herself, forcing a small smile on her face before her knuckles hit the wooden door a few times as she waited for it to open. She expected to see one of Tommy's maids but instead she was met with his piercing blue eyes. "Good evening." His low voice greeted her as he eyed her. "Good evening." She replied as she watched him step aside. "Come in."

She walked past him into the house. "Let me get your coat." He said as he closed the doors, sliding the coat off her shoulders. The gesture made her feel welcome but also a little awkward at the same time. He hung her coat on the rack and turned back to her. "I thought you had a maid." She supposed, thinking of the first time she visited Tommy with Arthur. "I do." He stated. His answer was short but simple. She looked at him, waiting for him if he was going to add more. "Luckily I'm still allowed to open my own door. Lets start with a drink, shall we?" He switched the subject. She nodded. "I'll follow you."

As Tommy started to walk trough the hallway, she took in the enormous spaces and many paintings that decorated the walls. "I still can't believe you actually have maids." She blurted out as she looked at him. The corners of his lips turned into a tiny smile as he slowed down. "Well I guess you didn't live a bad life yourself, except for the obvious circumstances you're in." He assumed, he had noticed the expensive coat she was wearing and the sparkling necklace that decorated her neck the day he saw her again in the hotel. Diamonds, he supposed. "Well... no but we didn't have maids." She chuckled.

"Doesn't matter. We both worked hard for it, eh?" He stopped, while he looked at her. "You certainly did, knowing where it all started." She smiled at him. "Guess all of it was a good motivation." He let his hand softly rest against her lower back, guiding her further trough the hallway. While she let him, she noticed the portraits that hung in the big stairwell. "Is that your son?" She stopped and pointed at a portrait of Charlie. "Yes, that's Charles."

"Do you mind?" She turned her head to look at him. "No, go on." She walked up a few steps to take a closer look. "He's got your eyes." She smiled while looking down at Tommy. "Looks like a sweet little boy."

"He is." Tommy nodded, patiently waiting for her. She looked at the other portraits, most were of him, Charlie or horses until her eyes fell on a portrait of a woman who seemed familiar. She walked up a few more steps and let her eyes run over the painting. "Is that your wife?" She asked, her eyes not leaving the canvas in front of her. "She was. Yeah." (Y/N) nodded slowly. Some type of aching tugged on her heart. She wasn’t sure if it was jealousy or if it reminded her of the broken heart she suffered from years ago. "I see." She swallowed harshly. "I didn't know you married the barmaid."

"I did." He answered her. She didn’t want to start about the past again, she wasn’t here to fight about their life choices once again but she’d lie if it didn’t do something to her. She turned around, facing him. "What was she like?" She wondered as she walked down the stairs, returning to the spot Tommy was standing. He watched her as her dress flowed around her, every step she took, turning her into the elegant woman he always knew. "She was sweet, very caring." He kept focused on her until she stood in front of him. Her eyes meeting his. "But she betrayed you nonetheless."

"It happened before our marriage, you know that." He defended. "I knew she betrayed you, not that you married her." She sighed. "But I shouldn't speak ill of the dead."

"You shouldn't." He agreed before continuing his way to the sitting room, gesturing for her to sit on sofa. "Gin and tonic?" He asked as he tried to forget about their previous conversation. She nodded. "Please." While he poured her a drink, she looked around the room. “How was your day at the betting shop?” He asked her as he handed her the glass. “It was good, not very busy but that got me more time to get back into it.” She explained to him as she watched him pour himself a whiskey before returning to her, sitting in a chair that stood next to the sofa. “Heard you still remembered a most of it.” He commented. “Did Polly tell you?”

“John.” He replied as she nodded in response, knowing Esme probably told him. “But yeah, I did.” Tommy took a sip of his whiskey. “Still liked it as much as you did?” He asked. “I guess so yeah.”

Silence fell over them. No matter what the reasons were when she was around Tommy, there was always an awkward tension between the two of them, as if neither of them could be completely theirselves. However, she didn’t even know what Tommy was actually like these days. His eyes wandered over her body, taking in every inch of her. She caught his gaze, her arms trying to cover herself.

“I like your dress.” He spoke up, his eyes softening when he met hers. “Thank you, I got it yesterday.” She smiled kindly at him, stroking her hand over the fabric. “It’s very pretty, suits you well.” He complimented her, making her heart skip a beat. “You don’t look bad yourself.” She commented on his suit, looking neatly as always. Her glass touched her lips seconds after she said the words, sipping the liquid to make her feel at ease.

“Well thank you.” He said. “How was it yesterday? Felt comfortable enough with Arthur?” He questioned, his arms leaning comfortable on the sides of his chair. She gulped. “I did. It was good to be out again and he looked out for me very well.” The words came out of her mouth so easily. His eyes scanned her face as if he was looking for something. “I’m glad. It’s been long enough for you. I know how much you love your freedom and independence.”

His comment made her think. “I do.” She took a sip of her drink, gathering courage to get something of her chest. “Tommy…” She started, not knowing how to begin her sentence. “Look I-“ She was cut off by one of the maids, telling them that dinner was ready. Tommy thanked her and got up. “Lets move to the dining room.” He watched as (Y/N) got up and led her to the dining room, pulling out her chair so she could sit. “Oh thank you.” She watched as he sat across from her. “Apologies for the interruption, what did you want to say?” He asked, the nerves getting the best of her. “I…uhm. I wanted to thank you for inviting me. You really didn’t have to, you know.”

“But I wanted to.” He looked up as the maids came in with the plates, putting them down in front of them before leaving again. “I guess you have a cook as well? Or did you prepare this yourself?” She joked, trying to forget about the things that were plaguing her mind. “Your first guess was right.” He softly chuckled as she smiled at him.

During dinner she got more comfortable, he seemed to let down his guard a bit and so did she. While sharing a few casual stories and finishing their desert, Tommy suggested to go back to the sitting room. While they moved back, she felt his hand on her lower back again, his fingers gently caressing her covered skin, causing her to feel a jolt deep in the pit of her stomach.

After sharing a few more drinks she was stood in front of the fireplace, letting the dancing flames warm her skin. Tommy came up behind her and let one of his hands rest on her shoulder as he watched the flames, the orange hue reflecting on both their faces. “I’ve been thinking.” His low voice catched her attention, her eyes focusing on the fire in front of her. “About?”

“About us.” His words made her tense up, her throat suddenly felt dry. “Us?” She turned her head slightly to look over her shoulder, her hair falling in front of her face. He hummed before gently putting her hair behind her ear. “I know you felt it too.”

She turned her head away from him, looking back at the flames. “I did.” Her words were soft. She felt his other hand graze against hers, his fingers softly touching the back of her hand. Her heart started beating faster at his touch, the words he just spoke repeating themselves in her head. “I have to tell you something.” She had made a decision and he needed to know about it. “What is it?”

She turned around to face him, taking a deep breath to ground herself before looking into his blue eyes. All she wanted was to fall right into his arms and his comforting voice to tell her that everything would be alright but she was far too deep in to get out. She had a plan and she’d rather sacrifice herself than him. “I’m sorry.”

"Sorry for what?" He asked, confused by her apology. She felt the tears pricking in her eyes. "I'm going back." Her words left her mouth in the softest whisper. "What?" His low voice filled the room. "I'm going back to David."

He was silent. His face remained neutral as his eyes bored into hers. He noticed how they had turned glossy, he noticed her trembling hands and he noticed how she tried to keep herself together. He shook his head before he spoke up. “Is he forcing you to?” He tried his best to sound calm although there was an turmoil burning inside him. “No. I decided it myself.” She tried to sound convincing. “Did you fucki-“ He stopped his sentence, realising his voice was harsh and loud. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed before starting over on a calmer tone. “Did you forget what he did to you (Y/N)?” Adding her name in hopes to let it get to her head.

“No, I did not. And I know this must felt like ingratitude or a dumb decision but I have to do it.” Tears sat in the corners of her eye, threatening to fall. “You’ll understand why. Later.”

“I want to understand it now. Explain it to me now.” His words were firm, laced with confusion and desperation. “I can’t.” She wanted to take his hand but hesitation made her pull away. “But I will soon.”

“What the hell is going on with you? Did you forget how scared you were? Did you forget all those bruises? Did you fucking forget about the pain?” The last words were spoken loud and harsh, in hopes to make her see what she was doing. She did see it, she did realise it. “I did not. I promise I did not.”

A hopeless gaze was evident in his eyes. “What will change your mind?” His words were much softer than before. His question broke her heart and a tear fell down her cheek. “Nothing. I made my decision.” She tried to sound confident. “I don’t fucking understand. What the fuck happened? Did he hit your head so hard that you’ve gone fucking mad?”

She shook her head. “I promise you’ll understand.” She gave him a weak smile. “When?” He questioned. “When did you decide this, eh?” The anger in his voice was growing. “Last night.” She confessed. “I just wanted to have a proper goodbye. You were there when I needed you the most.” She grabbed his hand as more tears threatened to spill. “I want to thank you for that.”

He sighed, as he looked at her in disbelief. “Fuck.” He turned around as he threw his hands in the air. “Fuck!” His voice bellowed trough the room as he walked across it. “I don’t fucking get it!” His voice was loud. Her fingers grabbed onto the fabric of her dress as she watched him. “You want a goodbye, eh? I’ll fucking give you one!” He turned around and stormed back to her, grabbing her face as he crashed his lips against hers. He caught her by surprise but her hands found their way around his neck quickly while their lips explored each other.

His hand grabbed onto her waist as he deepened the kiss. Her hand ran trough his hair as she melted into his touch. She felt his tongue graze along her lips, parting them slightly so his tongue could slip in. He was demanding, showing her that he needed her. Her hands slipped under his suit jacket, pushing it off his shoulders. His hands left her waist, pulling the jacket off his arms and throwing it on the floor, not breaking their kiss in the process. His hands found their way to her waist again as she fumbled with the buttons of his vest. Once she opened it, Tommy discarded them along with his jacket on the floor.

His lips left hers for a second. “Stay here tonight.” She nodded eagerly. “I will.” He pulled her closer and pressed his warm lips against her soft ones once more. One of her hands rested on the back of his neck while the other slowly slid down his chest. Her blood was rapidly pumping trough her veins, just like it had done the day before when he had kissed her in his office. The feeling of having him so close was so familiar and intoxicating, making her forget about all her troubles and making her feel alive for the first time in years.

Her hand slowly moved to she side of his neck, his rapid pulse beating against her skin. The mix of anger and lust spreading trough his body like poison. The words she just told him repeating vaguely in the back of his mind while he focused on the feeling of having her close. Her soft touch awakening the closed up space in his heart.

His hands grabbed her cheeks, feeling the wet stains of the tears that had fallen. He slowly pulled away and looked at her, she placed her hands on his wrists and stared back into his eyes. "Fucking stay." His words came out as a hoarse whisper, a mix of a demand and desperation. Knowing that if she left, he would never see her again.

She nodded as she took his hands away from her face and kissed him eagerly. His hands ran hungrily over her body, trying to feel every inch of it. His lips left her mouth to kiss down to her neck while listening to her sigh of pleasure. "Tommy..."

His hand grabbed onto her waist, pulling her against his body as he moved his head, their noses almost touching and his electric blue eyes staring directly into hers. Her fingertips touched his cheek softly, leaving his skin burning for more.

Discarded clothes covered the floor of his bedroom, eagerly pulled off each other as they were not able to contain themselves anymore. Soft moans left (Y/N)'s mouth as he kissed her neck and his fingers slowly circled over her clit. Her hands holding onto his arms to keep herself steady.

"Tommy, please." She was begging him to continue. He gently kissed her again while he added more pressure, muffling her moans with his mouth. Her hips moving to find the much needed friction. "I need you." She whined softly as her hand moved to his neck to pull him closer. "I fucking need you." She teasingly sucked on his bottom lip.

Her words made his excitation grow as his hands ran over her body, gently getting ahold of her boobs. "I need you too." His voice was low, filled with lust. "Come get me then." She teased as she let her legs rest on each side of his hips. He stroked his cock and lined up with entrance before gently entering her. She moaned at the feeling of him stretching her walls, a wave of pleasure running trough her body.

A low groan left his lips as he started thrusting gently, he leaned down to share a kiss with her. "Fuck..." He moaned against her lips as he started to pick up his pace. Her hands ran over his back, a soft whimper escaping from her lips as their kiss turned into a messy one.

She moved her hips against his, her nails digging into his skin. "Tommy..." The sound of her moans filled the bedroom. He kissed down to her neck once again before sucking softly on her skin. Her fingers tangled into his hair, pulling softly on the ends. His hands moved to her hips, grabbing them tightly as he moved faster.

She stared into his eyes, as moans kept escaping her mouth. Her hands moved down to his shoulders while she held onto him, trying to keep herself together. "I'm so close." She whimpered as he leaned down to kiss her once more. His hand moved between her legs, gently rubbing her clit. "Cum for me, love."

The feeling of his thrusts and the pressure on her clit made her muscles tense up and her breath turned in to short gasps. Before she knew it, an intense wave of pleasure crashed trough her body as Tommy kept going trough her climax. Loud moans filled his ears. "Oh my god.." Her fingers digged into his skin as he left her panting underneath him. She felt his thrusts became slower and messier, moans left his mouth as he reached his release. Strands of his dark hair hung in front of his face as he rode out his high.

She grabbed his face, kissing him eagerly before meeting his eyes. "I love you." The words fell too quickly off her lips, high off her mind from her climax. He parted his lips slightly before kissing her again. "Then fucking stay."

She stared into his eyes, ready to say something until she realised what she had just told him. She grabbed his jaw and pulled him back into a kiss, not ready to say anything else. She let her tongue slide into his mouth, exploring his, showing how much she needed him instead of telling him.

She felt his hands run trough her hair, gently holding her face before pulling away. He slowly pulled out of her and laid down beside her, his arms wrapping around her body before sharing another kiss. "You know you belong here. Right in me arms."

"I know." She confessed as she let her fingers run trough his hair. "Then please tell me what's holding you back." His fingers gently ran over her face. She pressed a soft kiss in his neck, not knowing what to say. "I can't. Just trust me Tommy."

He shook his head. "No. Tell me what would make you stay.” He didn’t want to sound desperate but after all the things she had been trough, he just couldn’t understand why she would want to go back.

In all honesty, he didn’t have to do anything to make her stay, she’d gladly wake up in his arms in the morning and never leave his side again. “You can’t.” She looked away before resting her head on his chest, the sound of the rhythm of his beating heart calming her.

He stroked her hair as he let all the possibilities of her decision go trough his head but he couldn’t come up with a logical explanation.

They both got ready in silence. He knew he wouldn't be able to change her mind anymore. She was going to walk out of his life in a few minutes and there was nothing he could do to stop her. He watched her silently from the bed as she looked in the mirror, doing everything to avoid his gaze. The moment she would look into his eyes, she knew she'd break and wouldn't be strong enough to leave his house.

"I'll be downstairs." His low voice fought the tensed silence in the room as he couldn't bear to watch her anymore. "I'll be ready soon." Her soft voice answered him as she nodded in response, leaving the room after and making his way downstairs. She let her face rest in her hands as soon as she heard the door close, trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself before looking in the mirror again. This was it.

Her mind wandered back to the night before, the feeling of having Tommy close, his touch and the way she woke up in his strong arms, protecting her at all costs. She knew he was everything she had been hoping for her but she had to leave it all behind. It was her turn to protect him at all costs.

She made her way down the stairs while she looked around to see if she could find a glimpse of Tommy. Walking over to his office, she found the door half open. As she knocked softly, she heard his voice. "Come in." While she walked in she found him leaning against the front his desk in only his undershirt, his legs crossed and a cigarette between his fingers. "I guess I'm ready."

He took a drag of his cigarette before blowing the smoke out of his nose. "Wouldn't you like some breakfast before you go?" He wondered. She shook her head, knowing he was trying to stretch time. "No, it's better if I go now."

He stood up, stubbing his cigarette out in his ashtray and making his way over to her, both walking out to the hallway. While she got her coat, he watched her put it on. It took her a few seconds to turn to face him. "Well..." The words got stuck in her throat as she looked up at him, his blue eyes were laced with frustration and sadness. "I-." She breathed in before continuing. "I'm sorry, Tommy."

His lips parted slightly, ready to speak up but no words coming out. Her fingers fumbled with the fabric of her coat. "I hope you made the right decision for yourself." He sounded sincere, although she could hear a hint of worry. "I hope so too." She gave him a small genuine smile that turned into a sad one. "Until we meet again." She turned around to make her way to the door.

He nodded, his eyes following every step she took until she stopped. She stood there for a while until she turned around and quickly made her way back to him. As her body came in contact with his, she wrapped her arms tightly around his torso and she let her head rest against his chest. The sudden impact got him by surprise and it took him a second before he gently wrapped his arms around her. His chin rested on top of her head while he calmly stroked her hair. Her hot tears seeped trough his shirt and her quiet sobs died down against his chest.

"Thank you, Tommy. For everything." She whispered, her hands gripping on his shirt. He stared into the space in front of him, his mind full but empty at the same time, not knowing what to do. "Always, love. You'd do the same for me." His voice was soft and his hand stroked her back to comfort her.

They stood there for a while until he felt her move, her arms leaving his body. He didn't want to let go. This moment would be the last time he would be holding her, he knew it.

He kissed the top of her head before letting her go. The warmth of her body leaving him immediately. She looked up at him, the sight of her tear stained face making it even harder for him. "Bye, Tom." A weak smile formed on her lips before she kissed his cheek. He grabbed her wrist gently as she tried to turn away from him. "(Y/N)..." She gulped and turned back to him, shaking her head. "Please."

"I have to. I really do." She felt the grip on her wrist loosen. She took the sight of him in one last time before turning around and making her way to the door. The picture of the man she loved so dearly, stripped from his though demeanor, leaving him vulnerable and standing lost and alone in his huge hallway, engraved in her brain forever. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she walked trough the the huge doors, into an unknown and uncertain future.

Taglist: @cyphah @kissforvoid @graciesbow @raincoffeeandfandoms @casa-boiardi @brummiereader @call-sign-shark @zablife @mommahwa1117

[vicompte-de-latarteaucoing]

How much do you like Razul so much?

Okay, so, first of all, I just really wanted to say that whoever you are, dear Anon, you made my day ! And possibly my whole week too !! You really have no idea just how unbelievably happy I was when I saw this in my inbox ! I just wasn’t expecting this at all and it was such a wonderful surprise !

Besides, I have to apologise for, to be honest, I couldn't properly understand if the question was «How much do you like Razul ?» or «Why do you like Razul so much ?»… so I'll just answer both, I hope that’s okay. I'm sorry 😓

First of all, I have to confess that I find so curious that someone actually noticed and cared enough to ask ! like really !! I’m perplexed and just so intrigued right now ! I just hope you’re not afraid of me, Anon, because I might be kinda weird and sometimes eccentric I guess, but that’s all, I swear !

Also, allow me to clarify something important : I like the Razul that M. Edgar P. Jacobs created, and, honestly, I didn't really like what was done to him by the new authors, namely in «The Gondwana Shrine» and «The Last Swordfish»… so I just ignore it

Anyway, skipping to the question(s)… I’ll answer both with two versions : the easiest one and the longer one, so you can pick up your favourite.

Concerning the question «How much do you like Razul ?» :

If you wish for the easiest answer, I could admit that, if you take solely the books into consideration, I might perhaps like him somehow about… just a little bit too much...

On the other hand, if you rather the other version, then I can add that I wouldn't say he is my favourite character (even though he most seemingly is the one I easily talk about the most) because, if you ever challenged me to point out my favourite, I wouldn't be able to choose only ONE of them… but I just really really really really really REALLY like him !! Like... a really huge and probably incomprehensible lot ! I just became so attached to him ! and I regret nothing !

A simple example : if you ever need me 100% awake, operational and in a particularly good mood, please, do not give me caffeine (unless you want me to turn my gremlin mode on, which I do not recommend) – just start an inoffensive conversation, bring Razul into it and that'll be probably enough for the rest of the day. Or, if you want to push me into a quite bitter mood for a few time, just remind me of what the new authors did to him… (Like, no offense to their work, but they cannot please everyone, neither do I expect them to, and that’s just normal and perfectly fine !)

In relation to the question «Why do you like Razul so much ?» :

Starting with the easiest answer again, perhaps I could quote Edgar A. Poe and declare proudly «I am a writer. Therefore, I am not sane.» and pretend it would explain everything – except that I'm not a writer, I'm just an amateur which doubles the dose haha ! shame on me...

Now, concerning the longer version…

I’ll maybe just start from the beginning. By the way, I’m sure there are certainly more brief ways to explain, but I have never ever really been good at summarising… actually, I have always been awful at it… so, yeah, I’m sorry…😑

About almost three years ago yes, I’m slow, very veeeeery slow, I had wanted and I still do ! to write a Blake and Mortimer fanfiction centred on Olrik and related with some potential effects of his long exposure to the Mega Wave… I knew Sharkey would be standing by his side like he always does, but I wanted some more of his men to participate in the story, and so I choose to team up the ones I liked the most : Razul, Sadi (alongside with Éblis, of course), Freddy and Jack.

But then, I felt like I couldn’t just immediately start writing the story without an introduction, and so I decided to begin with the circumstances in which the members of the team would have met each other…

Except that I wasn’t counting on how much terrible I am at summarising and unable to write a text without extending it hopelessly in every possible direction for the fun of it ! And so I couldn’t help but start developing the characters…

Razul was the first victim… I initially liked him as much as the rest of them – not as much as I do now, but enough for me to put him in the story. But it all started changing as I wrote because I’m a hopeless fool that cannot help but ramble and wander out of necessity, and I started writing more about him than I intended at first. However, I ended up regretting nothing and enjoying every bit of it – so much that the second chapter was almost entirely, and, once again, unexpectedly, focused on him and the way he had experienced the events we knew from the books… And I soon found out that the more I wrote about him, the more I liked him, the more I wanted to keep writing about him…

But the best/worst was yet to come… When I entered the university that I wanted, a year ago, I spent the whole first year going mad because I had no time to write anymore. However, even though it pained me not to be able to write something decent, it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me because new ideas kept on coming back to life and the characters’ backstory kept on growing so much more than I would have ever expected, and the fact that I couldn’t write immediately and only took some notes from time to time just helped to let the ideas flow, grow and accumulate slowly over the months until I had a pack of new material to work with.

Razul wasn’t an exception – actually, his life and story were the most interesting for me to develop, just after Sadi’s to such an extent that I soon realised I would have to edit the chapters I had already written because of the incredible amount of things I had added over the time… aaaaaand I still have to do it...

The fact that we know so little about them only made it more interesting to write about them, to give them a whole life beyond their presence in the books and turn them into the main characters of their own story…

Why do I like him so much ? Well, because, for me, he ceased to be solely the man we get to know in the books a long time ago...

People are usually much more than just what we see and I just wanted to give him the opportunity to be someone better than what one would find by simply reading the books... And, in the end, personally, I ended up seeing him as a good and sweet person and a golden hearted man - one who made bad choices and stained his path with terrible mistakes, yes, but a good man nevertheless and I currently see him as a cute cinnamon roll and there's just no way I would not like him as much as I do now

So… I think that’s all. I don’t know if this is what you were expecting…😶

I’m sorry the answer was so long, Anon ! You were probably expecting something shorter and perhaps less weird, but, as I said before, summarising is not my forte and I’m weird…😬

[lilydalexf]

Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Audrey Roget

Audrey Roget has 10 fics at Gossamer, with some different ones at AO3, fanfiction.net, and her website. You might know her from her very good fics or as part of Musea, a collective that all wrote fic and posted X-Files fic recs. I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas and The Shirt. Big thanks to Audrey for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)? A little, yes. Not so much by folks who were around in those days. I sometimes go hunting for beloved stories from the early years, both those I read and loved, and those I never got around to. I am always delighted to hear that later generations of fans have stumbled across my stuff, especially since I haven’t posted anything new in a number of years. It’s fantastic that both years-long fans and new ones are out there continuing to rec fic from all eras, and to maintain archives for fans yet-to-be born. What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it? What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general? It may sound corny, but the main thing I think of, and the thing that has ultimately been most valuable and lasting, has been the friendships. The feeling of having found a tribe – not just of TXF fans, but of other people who could be as enthusiastically engaged as I was (if not more so) with fictional stories and characters – was mind-blowing. Since I was a kid, I had often mulled over the books/movies/TV I loved and speculated internally about what happened off the page or off-screen, or created new stories for characters in my head. But, except for an elementary school phase where I and my two BFFs regularly played Charlie’s Angels, I hadn’t engaged in that kind of gleeful immersion in a fictional world with others until TXF fandom. My involvement in fandom followed pretty quickly from getting hooked on the show, so for me, it’s all one big ball of experiences. Even as my interest in/involvement in fandom has waxed and waned over the years, I’ve been lucky to remain friends with wonderful people who I originally connected with as fellow fans.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)? What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

My initial entrée to the fandom was through fanfiction. I didn’t get interested in the show until mid-season 5. Around the same time, I read an article in a zine called Might (co-founded by Dave Eggers) about this thing called fanfiction that people would write and publish online. At first I thought it was satire or a joke – the fic cited involved Wilma Flintstone and a polished sabre tooth, as I recall – but then realized this was an actual thing. So I figured that a show then at the peak of pop culture must have fanfiction, and I went looking. Early on, I scrolled atxc on a daily basis and downloaded stories. But I didn’t engage in discussions about the show on Usenet, since I only knew how to access it with my Earthlink email client, and I didn’t want to post using my real name.

Later, I set up a pseud address with Yahoo and subscribed to a couple of email fanfic/discussion lists, and stayed subscribed to those for years. There was also a period in there somewhere – of maybe only a year or so, when I think about it – when I’d often nerd out into the wee hours with other fans via IM chat groups. That was around the time the small writers’ collective Musea was founded, and we were active for several years after the show’s initial run. In the early aughts, I followed many authors to LiveJournal and eventually set up my own account and stayed involved in fandom that way, until it mostly dispersed as well. What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show? In a word: Chemistry. I had casually watched a couple of episodes during the first four seasons, but I’m not a huge sci-fi/horror fan at heart, and the story lines didn’t immediately grab me. But I happened to tune into The Red and the Black in 1998, and BOOM. For the first time, the intense layers of emotion and attraction between Mulder and Scully really struck me – and then of course, upon further viewing, I realized it was unmissable, an essential element in the fabric of the show. As a wise woman once said, a switch had been flicked. Mulder and Scully’s magnetism was like nothing I’d ever seen, and though I eventually came to appreciate the storytelling, humor, production values, and other components that made the series so successful, watching those characters interact has always been what kept me coming back. Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files? I was part of a list-serv discussion group for The West Wing for a while, which was a fun melding of character and plot analysis with political discussion. Later, I got into the House, MD fandom, again mostly as a fanfic reader/writer. I was finding that other fandoms, unlike TXF, were more dispersed, the networks of people structured more loosely, if at all. There were fanfic and discussion communities on LiveJournal, and fanfiction.net was the other main hub for posting and reading, but if there was anything centralized like Gossamer, Ephemeral, or the Haven, I never found it. Within all those fan communities, as in TXF, there were partisans for various characters and pairings, and flame wars erupted over plot developments that outraged this faction or that. One main difference was that those other shows had larger, ensemble casts and more varied subplots. So on one hand, there was more opportunity to explore back stories and multiple perspectives. In House MD in particular, there were several entrenched rival shipper camps, which were about equally grounded in canon, rather than TXF’s central ship. I was less into TWW fic, but my impression was that readers were less militant about their pairing preferences than TXF or House fans. Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

I was deeply fascinated by Greg House for several years. (And the love-hate chemistry between him and Lisa Cuddy was a strong draw for me.) House MD came early in a wave of TV shows centered on anti-heroes, and Hugh Laurie brought amazing complexity and thoughtfulness to the character.

Philip and Elizabeth Jennings (The Americans) are a lethal pair of antiheroes. The inherent moral conflict of a sympathetic narrative from their POVs, and the global political conflict they embody was TV catnip for me. The internal struggles at the hearts of those characters were so exquisitely written and performed, they completely fascinate me.

The West Wing felt so much like a show created specifically for me. I’m especially fond of story arcs and scenes that centered on CJ Cregg, Charlie Young, and Josh Lyman. Though I loved Martin Sheen’s human portrayal of Jed Bartlet, the fact that he was the President always made him a little untouchable in my mind. But CJ, Charlie, and Josh were basically hard-working functionaries who were ambitious and idealistic and funny and flawed, and they spoke to me. What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom? Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully? Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I do continue to think about Mulder and Scully and watch episodes somewhat often. I’ll sometimes run a favorite episode as background when I want something comforting on. I read TXF fic pretty regularly, which can inspire me to go back and watch a particular episode or story arc I haven’t thought about in years. Just recently, I started listening to The X-Files Diaries podcast (@XFDPodcast, @admiralty-xfd), and that’s a fun dive into the characters, and how other fans react to and interpret episodes.

Every once in a while, a TV show or movie – and more particularly, the characters – will grab my attention and make me curious about how fanfic writers have interpreted the original material. Random example, I saw Singin’ in the Rain for the first time in a theatre a couple of years ago, and the chemistry of the three leads sent me to AO3 as soon as I got home. I also loved the first season of Mercy Street and found some well-done stories in that fandom. I usually peruse the Yuletide gifts every year and have been amazed by the sheer variety, creativity and cheekiness of the output. There are a bunch of other shows I’ve followed faithfully, and sought out fanfic – Broadchurch, The Killing, Agents of SHIELD, Elementary, The Good Wife. Although I’ve found some well-written stuff in those fandoms, I’ve rarely gotten the same charge from them as reading TXF fic. Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

syntax6 (@syntax6) – Universal Invariants/Laws of Motion. I’d also shout out to syn’s Hunter fics, too – well worth reading even for those who have never seen or particularly loved the show itself.

JET – I re-read Small Lives Awake every year around Thanksgiving time. Other annual holiday re-reads: Revely’s The Dreaming Sea and Jordan’s Through the Fire (both set at Halloween).

Amal Nahurriyeh’s Casey universe – the rare post-col fic that felt hopeful, made extra intriguing by a kick-ass original character. [Lilydale note: the series starts with Machines of Freedom and has lots of additional fics and snippets.]

Prufrock’s Love – Finding Rokovoko was genuinely terrifying and tender.

melforbes (@melforbes) – Seaglass Blue is a recent favorite, lyrical and bittersweet.

These are just a few (apologies to those that didn’t come to mind immediately). Fortunately for readers, there’s an astonishing number of authors who have written in TXF fandom whom you can depend on for a good yarn, insightful character study, and/or ingenious “fixes” where 1013 went awry.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

Probably the two set in my own (former) backyard of Southern California: Enivrez-vous and Ravenous. I’d first read the Baudelaire poem that was the source of the former’s title back in university days, so I was tickled to be able to use a few lines as an epigraph. Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online? It’s not out of the realm possibility. I’d meant for “Three Times Dana Scully Didn’t Go to San Diego for Christmas” to be followed up with “And One Time She Did.” In fact, the idea for that never-finished story was what inspired “Three Times” in the first place. I have a couple of scenes sketched out and – unusually for me – even know exactly how to end it. Every year, November rolls around, and I think I should finish and post it…maybe in 2021?

Where do you get ideas for stories? Sometimes it’s from my environment. “Enivrez-vous” and “Ravenous” describe places that I’m fond of, that made me want to place Mulder and Scully there. “What Not to Wear” has that element too – I set it in Memphis as a tribute to a great trip there with a sister Musean. But WNTW was also inspired by a kink challenge in a years-ago LiveJournal thread, so sometimes ideas come from fandom discussions or even other fanfics. In the House MD fandom, a fic by another writer made me want to continue the story, and the author kindly allowed an authorized sequel. What's the story behind your pen name? I wanted my pseudonym to sound like it could be a real person’s name – or at least, maybe like a romance writer’s pen name – rather than an online handle. I also wanted to use a slightly obscure fictional character, to amuse anyone in the know. I had long had a bit of an obsession with Whit Stillman’s 1990s film trilogy, which started with Metropolitan; the 3rd installment, Last Days of Disco, came out the same year I started down the TXF rabbit hole: 1998. The central heroine of Metropolitan – who is mentioned in or makes a cameo in the other two – is Audrey Rouget, a lover of Austen and, eventually, a book editor. I altered the spelling of the last name as a nod to every writer’s companion, Roget’s Thesaurus. Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions? I have a few close friends – from outside TXF fandom – who know that I’ve written fanfic. I don’t know if they know my pseud; if they do, or if they’ve ready any of the fic, they haven’t said so to me. They are fannish sorts themselves, but not really TXF fans. A smattering of other friends and family members know or could intuit that I’ve been a fangrl on some level for years. My boss, whom I’ve known for about 3 years, recently mentioned off-handedly that she was really obsessed with TXF “back in the day,” and I am DYING to know if she got involved in fandom, but don’t think I’ll ever work up the courage to ask.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now? Most of the X-Files stuff continues to be generously and steadfastly archived by Forte at The Basement Office. The House MD stories and some TXF things are at fanfiction.net; same for AO3. If ever post anything new, it will probably go to TBO and AO3. I really ought to get it all together in one place, one of these days…

(Posted by Lilydale on April 6, 2021)

[odanurr87]

My thoughts on... Hotel del Luna

From left to right: Pyo Ji-hoon as Ji Hyun-joong; Yeo Jin-goo as Gu Chan-sung; Lee Ji-eun (IU) as Jang Man-wol; Bae Hae-seon as Choi Seo-hee; and Shin Jung-keun as Kim Sun-bi.

Released in 2019, Hotel del Luna was my introduction to the works of the Hong sisters as well as actors Yeo Jin-goo and Lee Ji-eun (IU), and what an introduction it was! The first episode of the show was excellent, giving us a hint of Man-wol’s tragic past that left me wanting to know more, then moving forwards in time to reenact that scene from Beauty and the Beast where Belle’s father is caught trying to steal a rose from Beast’s garden to give to Belle, and finally reaching present day as Man-wol tries to recruit Chan-sung and introduces him, and us, to this world of gods, ghosts, and souls with lingering grudges, that reminded me of the wondrous world of Harry Potter. Everything clicked for me in this episode, from the beautiful cinematography and music to the strong performances, particularly IU’s as Man-wol who knocked it out of the park and, incidentally, has a most impressive wardrobe and an uncanny ability to look amazing in every single one of her outfits. This was a highly promising start for my next modern fantasy show after Goblin and I couldn’t wait for the next episode. But what is this show about and why should you watch it?

Plot synopsis

21 years ago, Gu Chang-sung’s father cut a deal with the beautiful and mysterious owner of Hotel del Luna, Jang Man-wol, so that she would save his life in exchange for his son. Regretting the deal afterwards, the father left the country with his son hoping to spare him his fate. Believing himself to be safe, Gu Chan-sung has returned to work as assistant manager in one of Korea’s top hotels but Jang Man-wol is intent on collecting on the old debt by having him work in her hotel instead. However, Hotel del Luna is not your typical establishment, as Gu Chan-sung soon finds out, providing a service for souls who need healing or have grudges left to settle before moving on. While initially afraid of the prospect of becoming assistant manager at a hotel that serves ghosts, Gu Chan-sung finds himself intrigued by the challenge and curious about the story of the beautiful owner who runs it.

A magical atmosphere

Stepping into the world of Hotel del Luna feels like taking the train at Platform Nine and Three-Quarters and attending Hogwarts. In fact, our intrepid hero, Gu Chan-sung, also receives a magical letter welcoming him as Hotel del Luna’s new manager, and while there’s nothing magical about the subway that takes him there Jang Man-wol does use a little magic to ensure their first encounter goes undisturbed. The hotel itself reminded me of Hogwarts, not because it is filled with ghosts and can only be found by them (and the very much alive and fearful human manager), but because of the feeling of perpetual wonder knowing that behind every door lies a new magical mystery waiting to be discovered, be it a room only people who are alive can enter but not exit, the sky lounge, a swimming pool that is actually a beach in some undetermined plane of existence, or a beautiful garden with a magical tree that holds one of the hotel’s biggest secrets. Of course, one should not forget CEO Jang Man-wol (if one wishes to live) who, while certainly a very different character from Albus Dumbledore in terms of personality, always knows more than she’s letting on and is usually in control of any situation, even if the outcome isn’t always the one she anticipates. There is also the wonderful supporting cast in the form of the different incarnations of the deity Ma Go-sin (played by Seo Yi-sook, who looks like she’s having a blast playing the different sides of the goddess), a reserved but diligent Grim Reaper (played by Kang Hong-suk), and the welcoming staff of the hotel, represented by the trio of Kim Sum-bi (the bartender), Choi Seo-hee (the room manager), and Ji Hyun-joong (the hotel receptionist).

In the same way we cannot divorce Harry Potter from its music, given its distinct signature by that legend that is John Williams, I cannot forego mentioning Hotel del Luna’s mysterious, magical, and ethereal, instrumental soundtrack. Let me take you on a brief musical tour, shall I? Let’s start by taking subway line 4 and going to Hotel del Luna. The receptionist seems to be asleep so why don’t we let ourselves in? Wow, looks like the hotel’s throwing a party, apparently they’re welcoming human guests for the first time in years and the staff is particularly excited about it. That explains how we managed to get in (remember, this is not really a hotel for living, breathing, people). I can see that the bartender is busy receiving food orders and members of the staff are decorating the hall with real flowers. Hey, where’s that kid sneaking off to? Let’s follow him. Oh, that’s the Samdocheon Tunnel, which marks the boundary between this life and the afterlife. The Grim Reaper and the manager are there to bid farewell to one of the hotel’s guests. Apparently, there’s a bridge beyond the tunnel that takes 49 days to cross! I’m not eager to cross it just yet so let’s return to the hotel. Wait, why is there water everywhere? Looks like a water god managed to get past the receptionist (not that difficult when he’s asleep) and the CEO isn’t very happy about it. Yup, she definitely doesn’t look happy. We’d better make our exit before she figures out we shouldn’t be here.

To complement this excellent instrumental soundtrack, my favourite among all the kdramas I’ve watched to date, there’s an amazing selection of songs by artists like Red Velvet, TAEYEON, Heize, Punch, Chung Ha, and Paul Kim, among many others. IU herself sings an absolutely beautiful song that plays in one of the most highly-anticipated scenes of the show but which, sadly, has not been released. However, just as important as having a great soundtrack is using it well. If you’ve read my reviews of Angel’s Last Mission: Love or Strong Woman Do-Bong Soon, you should have an idea of how much I value using the right music at the right time to convey or accentuate the proper emotions during dramatic, comedic, or romantic scenes. Correct music usage can lead to your soundtrack being memorable, whereas incorrect music usage will surely render it forgettable. Fortunately for us, Hotel del Luna knows precisely when to use its music and how. It knows when levity is called for and when it’s not, when to highlight the wondrous side of magic and when to show its darker side, when to use Heize’s “Can You See My Heart” or Punch’s “Done For Me.” I believe it was John Williams, when talking about the music of the original Star Wars trilogy, who said that he wanted the score to tell the story of what was going on in the screen. I believe Hotel del Luna’s score achieves this feat.

Another aspect that contributes to the magical atmosphere of the show is, without a doubt, its incredible cinematography (from camera angles, through its beautiful use of lighting and colours) which, combined with its excellent score, can create scenes that are best defined as poetry in motion. I particularly liked how it favoured studio sets for shooting many of its scenes, giving the sensation that we’re watching a superb play that encourages us to send our imagination into overdrive. Even some of the more noticeable VFX work, like the city view from the hotel’s sky lounge plays into the notion that one cannot always tell what’s real and what’s fake in Hotel del Luna, as Man-wol warns Chan-sung that the view from the sky lounge is not from this world, but the fall will kill him just the same (Man-wol being Man-wol). Because I’m not knowledgeable enough to explain the show’s cinematography in technical terms, I’ll leave you with a trailer that captures some aspects of it and, luckily, also showcases Jang Man-wol’s incredible selection of dresses.

A part of a greater whole

In my review of Bring it on, Ghost I mentioned the show followed a certain formula that is often poorly executed in Western shows. There is a main story-arc that encompasses the whole of the show and there are side stories where our protagonists confront the “ghost of the week.” One of the strengths of Bring it on, Ghost lied in how these side stories would sometimes tie into the main story or would be used to expand on a character’s backstory so that they rarely came across as filler. Hotel del Luna executes the same formula with a lot more thought and care, often laying out the groundwork for events later down the episode, what is expected, or even later down the show, what is a bit more impressive. The Hong sisters remain true to their initially-stated intention throughout the show and reinforce this with the aid of these side stories, preparing both Gu Chan-sung and us for the inevitable dénouement of the show. Let me try to illustrate my point by way of an example. I don’t want to give more for fear of completely spoiling the show for you.

Episode 5 tells the story of a ghost bride whose parents want to give a soul wedding so she will be able to peacefully pass into the afterlife. Unfortunately, the chosen partner for this soul wedding ends up being Gu Chan-sung’s best friend, Sanchez, so while Man-wol goes shopping as Audrey Hepburn with the parents’ black card (our girl has very expensive tastes), Gu Chan-sung tries to figure out a way to spare his terrified friend. After some twists and turns, what is often the case with this show as the truth is not always what it seems, it is revealed that it is actually the groom’s parents who want to marry off the bride so she’ll let go of their son, who’s in a coma. For those who’ve watched Bring it on, Ghost, the parallels with the ghost side story from Episode 10 are fairly evident, as the ghost bride needs to find the strength to let go of the person she loves and she ultimately does so in one of the most beautifully composed scenes of the show. This is one of those “poetry in motion” scenes I was talking about. As the groom runs away in shock and fear, the bride gathers the courage to cut the red string of fate tying them together, under the intent gazes of Gu Chan-sung, dressed as the groom, and Jan Man-wol, dressed as a bride (in red).

You need a stronger will to let go than to hold on.

This scene is a portent of events yet to come, when the day finally arrives where Chan-sung and Man-wol will also have to part ways. Indeed, several episodes later, the room manager will remind Gu Chan-sung of the words Goddess Ma Go-sin then told the ghost bride, “You need a stronger will to let go than to hold on.” The bride’s selfless act of letting go of the person she loves, breaking free from her earthly tether of her own volition, can be seen as a challenge to Man-wol, whose hatred for the man who betrayed her has been her sole drive for the past 1,300 years but also a curse that has bounded her to the hotel and prevented her from dying. Could she, like the bride, unburden herself by letting go of her hatred? Is it possible for someone with such a long and deep resentment to simply let go? This is a recurring question throughout the show and one that puts her at odds with her increasing desire to protect Gu Chan-sung, as she fears her actions, born of her hatred for the people who wronged her, might end up harming the man she loves.

Side stories such as this one often give us further insight into Man-wol, whether it be a glimpse of her past or challenging her beliefs, making her question herself and her actions, however briefly.

A fairy tale romance

Man-wol is a tsundere character, both a Beauty and a Beast, who has been nursing a thousand-year-old grudge against the people who betrayed her and consequently filters every human interaction through a lens of cold cynicism, expecting the worst from people. Chan-sung on the other hand, is a proper gentleman, a type of character we don’t often see in kdramas and a natural consequence of his training as a hotel manager. He’s friendly, cultured, well-mannered, kind, clever, and someone who's very much in control of his emotions most of the time. The evolution of the relationship between these two characters is the centrepiece of Hotel del Luna, a breath of fresh air in a landscape that often feels the need to use love triangles, or other polygons, as a shortcut to properly fleshing out the relationship between two characters. While there are elements of a love triangle present, such as expressions of jealousy for the sake of comedy, Hotel del Luna chooses to forego this trope and commit fully to the main characters’ fairy tale-like romance.

When you tell her you’ve been dreaming about her.

Another trope the Hong sisters mostly dispense with is that of misunderstandings, which are kept to a bare minimum, as Man-wol and Chan-sung are very open with each other regarding their thoughts and feelings, although Man-wol is, understandably, less transparent about her feelings in the beginning. It was incredibly refreshing to witness two characters that could guess each other’s thoughts and were willing to have an open and honest conversation about it rather than to hold back for the sake of drama. Of course, this did become somewhat frustrating for Man-wol (and fun for us) when Chan-sung started gaining more confidence, feeling at ease with Man-wol, and rebuking her selfish or materialistic actions. Their playful banter and bickering throughout the show is, to my mind, a clear indication that they’re comfortable with each other, as strong a sign of the chemistry in their relationship as half a dozen kisses, if not a better one, what is a good thing because those are few and far between. On the other hand, it makes those moments much more valuable and meaningful. The love between Man-wol and Chan-sung comes across in the gestures they make, in their facial expressions, in the words spoken and left unsaid. When Man-wol tries to comfort Chan-sung but doesn’t know how (Video), when she confesses she wants him to stay with her till the end and they share an intimate hug (Video), when Chan-sung breaks down and cries at the thought of not being able to see Man-wol ever again (Video), when the two have a conversation on the balcony under the moonlight (Video)... These are a precious few examples of the beauty, strength, and depth of feeling, of their relationship.

When the adult catches you in a lie.

While Man-wol is not the same ruthless person she was at the beginning of the show as she is at the end, she still retains some elements or traits of her personality throughout the show (there’s still a little tsun in her dere), as it should be. In one episode Chan-sung is remarking upon how much nicer she has become and she replies, “Gu Chan-sung, you’ve made leaves and flowers grow and have changed me a lot. But you won’t be able to change my core personality. Don’t even expect that.” Even as she says this you can see her looking a little uneasy about something, a little girl about to be caught in a lie by the adult who’s trying to keep her out of trouble. It is thanks to Gu Chan-sung’s patient and enduring love, that protected her from the worst aspects of her own self, that Man-wol is able to let go of her anger, both literally and metaphorically. But Man-wol also deserves praise, as she reciprocates Chan-sung’s love and equally tries to protect him from the dangers of this new world he has entered but most of all from herself, to the point she is willing to renounce her revenge and extinguish her existence to ensure she can never harm the man she loves.

Conclusion

It should be evident by now that I absolutely love this show and it is, without a doubt, my favourite out of all I’ve watched thus far, including Goblin. This is not to say the show is without flaws. Its almost single-minded focus on the story of Man-wol and Chan-sung has some collateral damage, most notably in the form of a character’s loved one, an event used as a means to highlight the pain experienced by those left behind, anticipating the day when our main protagonists will be forced to part ways. In another case, a poignant encounter for Chan-sung is not properly fleshed out, perhaps intentionally so but it seems like a wasted opportunity. Additionally, the introduction and development of the secondary villain’s arc (Man-wol is both the love interest and the main antagonist) felt a little weak, but is still a functional plot device that leads to some of the show’s best scenes. Finally, there is also the way the Hong sisters handled the riddle of Chan-sung’s dreams, which I may address in a separate post because it has too many spoilers.

If you’re a fan of fantasy dramas like Goblin, there’s simply no reason for me not to recommend this show and, hopefully, I’ve given you a few to persuade you as to why this is such a standout drama and, to my mind, the Hong sisters’ best work to date. It’s even on r/KDRAMA’s banner as one of those must-watch shows. If you do decide to watch it, I advise you to pace yourself so you don’t have to say goodbye to Hotel del Luna’s wonderful family too soon.

[anidealiveson]

Thanksvember Master Post

Day 1 - Like Coming Home - It has a super rare “wholesome plot twist”! Without spoiling anything too huge, I really like that @julesherondalex took the time to talk about how important it is to take care of yourself first. You can’t love someone else properly, the way they deserve, if you don’t have that same love for yourself. I wasn’t expecting the heartbreaking scene, but the beautiful way in which that topic was was approached neither took away from the story or the joy.

Day 2 - Must Love Dogs - An incredibly fluffy (literally) fic that I loved reading. @rosehallshadowsinger did a really great job weaving Azriel and Elain’s canon personalities into this adorable AU scenario. It is obvious @rosehallshadowsinger took care to create believable personalities for two characters that didn’t get POVs in the books.

Day 3 - Striking Matches -  I have to say that I wasn’t at all attracted to an AU fic about firefighters. I was also not a big Rowaelin fan before that, but I was work procrastinating so I gave it a try. Wellll, 30 parts later, I found myself delighted at the writing and sad it was over. I couldn’t believe how well @shyvioletcat cat was able to entirely re-characterize these two into such a different setting, yet still retaining what made them popular in the books. Aelin was perfect in her role as a snarky schoolteacher irritating the stoic firefighter Rowan. And the descriptions of the kids lining up at the firehouse demonstration and Jake’s adorable prodding was icing on the cake.

Day 4 - Close Quarters -  I really loved the way @lady-therion wrote Nesta in this modern AU. I particularly like how she equates Nesta’s sometimes standoffish attitude as a very relatable personality trait. She has trouble reading people and gauging situations. It’s well written and the dialogue is unique for a plot that is common in ff!

Day 5 - Like A Lonely House - It’s got a colossal I love Lucy level misunderstanding mixed in with a lot of tension and angst. This Nesta that is full of sacrifice and duty and fire is how I imagine the Nesta who feels that she has a stake in the Fae world would be like. @featherymalignancy wove such a captivating new world in Macar, that it felt a lot like being introduced to the 8th court in the ACOTAR world.

Day 6 - Death Dance - There are several takes out there that touch on Nesta in the Ilyrian camps, but I love how @thewayshedreamed interpreted Nesta’s skills on the battlefield as a calculated dance. Nesta has always been a raging storm, but I love how @thewayshedreamed took care to show us a Nesta that channeled that storm into discipline. If SJM never intended to release a Nessian focused book, I would have considered this a satisfying end to their story.

Day 7 - One Night Standards - I love the way @sassyhobbits writes Aelin with her typical extremely sassy exterior, but also made sure to saddle her with a vulnerable side that runs deep. I normally don’t care for slow burns, but I like the pace of her relationship with Rowan here, and that they had to work hard at it. I also like the plot lines that involved their PR stunts and how the public grew to love them as well.

Day 8 - Goose Chasing - Its the most absurd plot of any fanfic I’ve read! The title is not figurative. Its really does involve chasing a goose. @rhysismydaddy did a fantastic job encapsulating the spirit of silly Cassian and grumpy Nesta in a situation they’d likely never find themselves in, yet making it entirely believable. 

Day 9 - Manon Chooses The Worst Babysitter Possible - It’s such a casual and fluffy and hilarious read. It was fun to read about a softer and more delicate Manon. Through this absurd mistake, @sarah-bae-maas did an excellent job really humanizing Manon and postulating a fun in-world domestic scenario. 

Day 10 - My Hunger Knows No Bounds -  @perseusannabeth manages to take a simple concept and weave a sweet narrative. I particularly love how @perseusannabeth incorporated her personal details into it and took the time to share her lovely culture with us.

Day 11 - Knowing me, Knowing you - We never got to actually see Aelin rule Terrasen (well we got a tinyyy bit) in the books. Though this was modern day, @nalgenewhore tells a fun story of what that could have been like.

Day 12 -  Forever (is a long time) - @noodlecatposts takes Elide and Lorcan’s completely polar opposite personalities and spins an interesting (and frankly quite adorable) story. All the rules crack me up. My favorite Lorcan is the one that reminds me of Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls. Currently, he is in the middle of grumpily fixing up her flooded room, so I am sure that my favorite parts are yet to come.

Day 13 - Go Your Own Way - I appreciate @tomtenadia for putting to words a scene that I desperately wanted in ACOWAR or even ACOFAS. A lovely parallel to an equally lovely Fleetwood mac song.

Day 14 - In Which She Makes A Friend - It is no surprise that the fandom wants Nesta to find her place in the Illyrian mountains and even bring about some social change with the female warriors. But the way @bookstantrash got there was such a wonderful and endearing journey. Big fan of the callbacks to how Kaelin was treated and the similarities to a certain Illyrian warrior was when he was younger. We got to see a sweet Nesta, who I’d like to think was attempting to make up for some of her regrets through taking care of Kaelin.

Day 15 - The Ranch - As a huge fan of Sweet Home Alabama, its should be no surprise that I loved this fic by @tacmc . I enjoyed the slow change that we saw in a stubborn Nesta as she opened up to this new way of life and reconnected with her sisters and found a home with Cassian.

Day 16 - Felons - Such a unique interpretation of Nesta and Cassian. I really like the self-sacrificing Nesta angle and @rhysismydaddy did a great job weaving intrigue into the unraveling of what we knew to be a her innocence. I never read The Witness, but this really made me want to.

Day 17 - Of Books and Timber - Cassian offers to build a shelf for Nesta. The way @duskandstarlight goes through the entire range of emotions through Nesta is brilliant. She starts out with cold indifference, but by the end, we get from her a sweet and tender gesture of gratitude. Showing that meeting each other halfway with small gestures is all they ever needed.

Day 18 - You Should Sleep In My Bed More Often - I absolutely loved this quick exchange between Nesta and Cassian after she accidentally injures him. I can’t believe how much I laughed out loud when Cassian said “I need you to protect me closer”. @charincharge​ perfectly captured the teasing childish essence of Cassian and Nesta’s hilarious victim-blaming was so on the nose that I might have thought this was taken right out of ACOSAF.

Day 19 - The Right Swipe - I really enjoyed this take on the inner circle mixed with the super modern online dating plot. I especially love that @redisriding created genuinely realistic characters (body issues, social anxiety etc). Great read!

Day 20 - Goldfish Prompt - What a fun read. I love how frantic and much personality Feyre had here. I love how dedicated to her fish she was, and how that made her super endearing. Cute read from @azrielsiphons

Day 21 - The One With The Snowstorm -  What I really like is that Cassian actually says that he is sorry for his part in Nesta’s exile. I am not bitter about it, but it was an interesting turn. They need to meet halfway here and I rarely see it so well written as @joysbell has done here!

Day 22 - Prompt - A lovely and cute and sweet prompt written by @crowsvalentine​! I love the ramp up of suspense just to get to the hilarious payoff. Its adorable and worth the quick read.

Day 23 - Fix It -  is one by @thewayshedreamed​ that I love in its simplicity. It’s a small little argument Cassian and Nesta get into, but its still compelling. It’s sweet and super endearing the way the two of them are written and the subtle way they work through it. Great read!

Day 24 - I Do Bad Things To You - The mob angle may have been done before, but I don’t think with as much care and regard that @tswaney17​ has been giving it. I how the canon personalities of the characters translate so well into this modern AU. Its very obvious that @tswaney17​ has done her research. I especially love all the details around Elain as a surgeon. The story is compelling and well written and every chapter has me wanting more.

Day 25 - Love Her Like She should Be Loved - This is an excellent fic that I really loved. @julemmaes did such a great job translating some of the canon tension from ACOFAS into a modern world. It’s ripe with emotion, drama and quite a bit of heart. I love how earnestly Cassian comes to Nesta’s defense even in the face of going against his entire family. I like the reference to some very real psychological struggles. I think a lot of people can relate to it.

Day 26 - Literally In Love - I really enjoy the subtle mystery that follows this entire journey. I enjoy that @julesherondalex keeps us guessing, while simultaneously weaving a sweet and tender story about two shy teachers and just a slew of mishaps worthy of a Shakespearian drama.

Day 27 - The Shadow Bond - I love Azriel, and this is such a wonderful fic by @radientwings​ focusing on how his shadows might work. His shadows are the one thing that I am most curious about him in the series, so it was lovely to read such a well written interpretation of them.

Day 28 - Exes and Oh’s - Just a shout out to @highqueenofelfhame​ for this lovely story about rekindling past love. I like that even though the plot was uncomplicated, the emotions were not. I love that Aelin didn’t have a perfect reason for what she did, but sometimes that is just how things are. This is a story about taking a second chance, whether it’s deserved or not.

Day 29 - Fever - I really love this fic called Fever. I enjoyed how @lady-therion​ portrayed Nesta. She hit the entire gammut of characteristics (snarky, worried, vulnerable, caring, short-tempered, flirty, you name it!) but it really worked here. I found this nurse Nesta to be endearing and relatable and the dynamic between her and Cassian was very sweet. Just go read the damned thing.

Day 30 - Baby Steps - I really really love this fic. @runesandfaes did such a great job in just so few words to show a really sweet moment between Chaol, Yrene and their daughter learning to walk. I love the parallel back to when Chaol was learning to walk and the cameo of the golden couch. So sweet.

[theboywiththecuckooclockheart]

A few moments from “Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock” that don’t make sense unless you’ve read the book

One of my favorite things about the movie version of Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart is how they take Malzieu’s striking metaphors and vivid descriptions and turn them into seemingly ordinary moments that the characters don’t even seem to question. However, if you haven’t read the original novel, some of those moments might leave you more confused than intrigued. Not only that, but some of the details in the movie might seem to come out of nowhere without additional context.

Full disclosure, I will be sharing some characters and details from the novel that do not appear in the movie and while they aren’t spoilers, per say, if you would like to read them for yourself first I recommend that you do.

1. “Do you often sprout Italian ice cream cones?”

If you’ve seen the movie, you know what I’m talking about:

This interesting sight only lasts for a few seconds, and the “Italian ice cream cones” are gone once the camera pans around Jack. The presence of the purple swirls is only addressed by the characters in two lines, where Jack asks “Do often sprout Italian ice cream cones?” and Miss Acacia replies, “Only if I snack on spaghetti after midnight.” That little exchange is kind of funny in and of itself, but its origin in the novel is slightly less innocent.

In the book, when Jack first sees Miss Acacia singing in the town square, he thinks, “Her breasts resemble two meringues so exquisitely baked it would be rude not to eat them on the spot.” First of all, yikes. Second of all, double yikes when you realize these characters are both canonically ten years old. But, what I’m more curious about is how we go from “meringues” in the novel to “Italian cream cones” in the movie. 

When I think of French meringues, I think of crunchy and airy baked egg whites that I can’t imagine would survive holding ice cream. But, after some culinary sleuthing, I think the connection is made regarding the ice cream itself, particularly Italian meringue ice cream, which is the combination of Italian meringue and chilled whipped cream.

Clearly, the novel is 100% not for children, in this and other ways, but I think the adaptation of this moment in the movie is quite interesting, and perhaps may have struck French audiences a bit less shockingly.

2. Méliès’ hospital cart

When Jack visits Georges Méliès’ studio, he learns all about the illusionist’s lost love and the endless inventions he created to try to impress her. During the visit, Méliès explains, “One day, I was at a loose end so I chopped up two of her shelves and I fixed them to some wheels that I’d found on a cart from a hospital so that we could go gliding together in the moonlight.” I always find the delivery of that line to be rather comical; the way he brushes off the words “from a hospital” as if that won’t provoke any questions or concern.

But, readers of the novel know a bit more about who this mysterious fiancée of his was. Her name is Jehanne d’Ancy, and her presence in the original novel is actually quite important. Without saying too much about the alternate plot line of the book, she was a nurse that Méliès met at some point in his past, which very plainly explains the hospital cart.

During my research I was shocked and excited to discover that there may be even more to Méliès’ lost love. We all know that Georges Méliès was a real person, and it so happens that a French film actress by the name of Jehanne d’alcy [1] was the real Méliès’ second wife from 1925 until his death in 1938 [2]. That historical connection probably made me more excited than it should have, but there you go.

3. Brigitte Heim

If you were able to follow along with the wild and rapid lyrics of “King of the Ghost Train”, you may have picked up the line “When I went on the ghost train I met this old girl called ‘Brigitte Heim’...”. When I watched the movie for the first time, I didn’t even register that Jack said a name in that line and it never once dawned on me to turn on the closed captions to figure out what he said.

Of course, within the context of the lyrics of the song you can probably infer that the woman Jack met who “is scarier than the ghost train”, as the song goes, was the woman who literally emerged from a coffin when he first approached the fair attraction. I don’t think her name was ever mentioned directly outside of the song, except for the end credits, but the second time I watched the movie after having read the novel, I actually picked up on what he said in the song and it all made sense.

Also, the repeated theme in the song of paying for breakage or any other inconvenience as well as the lyric “Pay pay pay pay always pay” makes a bit more sense knowing how obsessed the Brigitte Heim in the novel was about profits, a character trait that wasn’t so heavily emphasized in the movie.

There are many, many more examples of the imagery, metaphors, and remarkable descriptions from the book making their way into the movie, but for the sake of keeping at least a few things for first-time readers and watchers to discover, I am not going to list them all out here.

I highly recommend, of course, that one reads the novel and watches the movie (and listens to the album, too) to get the full effect of the story and to truly appreciate the wild world of Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart.

_____________

All images and quotes are from the film Jack and Cuckoo-Clock Heart and the original novel by Mathias Malzieu.

Image credits:

Italian ice cream cones: Malzieu, Mathias and Stéphane Berla, directors. Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart. 2013.

Brigitte Heim: https://www.allocine.fr/film/fichefilm-134061/photos/detail/?cmediafile=21072582

Sources:

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehanne_D%27Alcy

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Georges_M%C3%A9li%C3%A8s

[honourablejester]

Ideas for Warforged (D&D)

Because magic robots/constructs are the best idea. I will admit that backstory/inspiration-wise, I’m fonder of things like Discworld’s golems or the Muses from Girl Genius. I like the feeling of ancient constructed things learning to be people.

(I also like the caster classes, which will possibly be really obvious in a minute)

Cleric

I love the Grave Domain for warforged. How does a constructed being conceptualise death? Especially if they get slapped in the face by it. Take the standard warforged background, the machine built for war, a constructed, immortal child created for violence. Have them watch their squishy biological comrades die. A lot. Do they have an epiphany? Do they become curious about the beliefs and fears around death? Do they want to give comfort to their friends? Do they start to think of mortal death as a reprieve from a life of endless service and violence? (Do they view undeath as a horrific corruption of their own constructed service and immortality, taking relief away from those who have earned it in death?) Imagine a warforged priest of a grave god. The serene, mechanical face. The slightly off, dispassionate gentility. The curiosity and care. I love it.

Druid

Circle of Spores! Sorry, but we are continuing the theme of decay and the undying here. But with spores there’s a lot of … I’m thinking post-apocalyptic fiction. Robots in the remnants. Wall-E, even. Your trash-heap, rusted, bucket-of-bolts survivor of a dead world or colony or underground kingdom. The curious innocent finding beauty in decay, or perhaps a wiser, more melancholy survivor. Or a darker one, cynical about the cycles of extinction and regrowth. Also, just the image. A strange, skeletal metal creature, crystal eyes glowing uranium green, strange mushrooms growing from their rusted plates and darkwood sinews, surrounded by an almost-sound, a subaudible buzzing that people feel in their teeth. Watching warily as new creatures wander through their ruins, or spurred by their own curiosity to venture up into some strange new world.

Bard

The Muses, here, so very much. 18thC automata. The music box song from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. A construct built for beauty, grace, skill, to be the epitome of a craft, but also a construct that is very old. Built for kings, because who else could afford such breath-taking craftsmanship? Built to entertain or advise a ruler and their court, and so a lot wiser to the passions and vices underneath the pretty words than they seem. Students of history, who’ve seen it cycle through a few times. Maybe trying to escape, now. Find a simpler life. Or trying to affect things rather than just witness them, trying to be a hero or the villain or the spy instead of just the historian or the muse.

Paladin

Clockwork angels. Hubris and innocence all in one neat package. Constructs made in the image of celestials, complete with flightless bronze-and-silk wings, out of arrogance or hope or despair or for mysterious purposes that even they don’t know. Found in the laboratories of dead mages, or manufactured by warmongers for propaganda purposes. Innocent, still, hopeful, or else deeply, deeply cynical. Struggling to find or maintain a sense of their own identity, choosing oaths in honour or defiance of their image. Redemption, Crown, Conquest, Vengeance. Lots to have fun with.

Sorceror

We’re going more for the ‘touched by cosmic power’ angle than bloodlines, obviously, though there’s possibly some wiggle room if you go for weirder origins. Constructed with a little flesh and bone and blood from your creator, maybe? But I really like Shadow Sorceror here. A construct made in a dark ritual, touched by the fell energies of the Shadowfell. A strange, half-alive being, shadowed by darkness, who ‘woke’ in an empty ritual chamber with no idea of their nature or their purpose. Honestly, shadow sorceror is as good as warlock for the gothic, haunted end of origin stories, so might as well go full Frankenstein on the confused horror of a constructed being. Might lean a bit more on the ‘organic’ end of warforged construction here, darkwood, living stone, black metal. Just to match the aesthetic. Warforged are great for aesthetic.

Warlock

Speaking of. Just. I have already mentioned, but I love both warlocks and warforged, and they’re a lovely mix together. The Lurker Patron. A construct built to dredge a long-lost harbour, finding sentience and a strange ‘friendship’ while wandering the deeps. The Great Old One, a strange, mad being who cobbled you together from spare parts in an attempt to understand the life forms of this foreign plane. Fiend, the demon who was baffled and intrigued by the concept of an artificial soul, granting power just to see what temptation looks like in a heart made of crystal and stone (or the puppet master who stole the most beautiful and extraordinary puppet, to call back to the muses). The Archfey who built or stole themselves the perfect knight, a mobile statue or plaything that was never meant to win its own soul. There’s so many things to play with.

Rogue

To throw a bone to the non-caster classes. But. There is a lot of potential to the rogue, too. Assassin, particularly. One of the things that’s so cool with warforged is not only their own choices and motivations, but those of the ones who built them. Why train a perfect killing machine when you can build one? But then what happens when they become sentient? When they start to have feelings and opinions of their own? Rogue warforged have a lot of the same appeal as bard and paladin warforged for me. Beings built for the machinations of those around them, and struggling to free themselves and forge their own path. (Also I loved the Zeta Project cartoon as a kid and it rubbed off on me, and there’s something half-humorous and half-terrifying about a seven foot metal skeleton somehow built for stealth and infiltration).

Barbarian

My other favourite non-caster class, but there also some lovely things to work with here. Perhaps the flipside of the grave cleric above? The soldier warforged who grew to love battle instead, whose first emotions were the rage and terror and thrill of the battlefield. I like the Zealot barbarian here. The being literally made for the fight, who channelled it so perfectly that it drew the attentions of the gods of battle. But there’s also … the opposite of rage. When it’s a robot, a machine. There’s the image of the blank, emotionless killing frenzy. An anime I watched, Pumpkin Scissors, had a supersoldier as one of the main characters. A normally extremely sweet and gentle man, who could be brainwashed into a mindless killing state by a blue lantern. He was terrifying and tragic and unstoppable and broken. Imagine a warforged barbarian like that. A being terrified of the truly emotionless machine they become in battle, the remorseless frenzy they enter when injured or struck by the sight of blood, but believing they were built for nothing but war, knowing no way of living other than that.

… Um. In summary? Magic robots are great and, depending who built them and what for, can delve into tragic very quickly and easily. Heh. Though you can also easily go the benevolent creator route, the parent who taught them well, and take some much gentler angles on all of this. I’m just in a gothic mood tonight, apparently.

Also, there is just no beating the imagery you can build up around a living wood-and-metal being. And I’m not just saying that because I love a) robots, b) skeletons, and c) robot skeletons.

Honest, yer honour.

[jan31]

Rambling Review Episode 29

I have been trying to write this review since Monday and I would like to think my thoughts are more organised now, but if you are looking for a logical, analytical and insightful review this wont be it, my brain is still jumbled after that episode!! 

Lets start at the cabin....seriously Serkan Bolat, hypochondriac who takes his pulse after coughing at the flower shop is going to stay in a remote cabin, with no obvious means of transport and communication?  He should be in the city near medical facilities after his serious crash and head injury. This is where you realise he has been isolated for a reason, so no one can visit or call him and put thoughts in his head.  Selin has created a perfect hideaway where he only hears her side of the story about Eda, and so the brainwashing begins.  Its unclear how long they have been there, i assume a few weeks, but this is long enough to get inside someone’s head and create a scenario, particularly when there are no other conflicting opinions and you have no memories of the person.  Selin is not happy about his decision to go back to Istanbul as she knows his friends may tell a different story to hers about Eda.

Engin is grieving for his best friend, so i loved their reunion, Serkan had a huge grin on his face and was also happy to see him. Serkan told Efe i have only got 3 friends, Engin Pryll and Sirius, and those were the ones that got the biggest welcome.

 When they all looked behind him as Eda appeared they honestly thought they were going to see a beautiful reunion and were all smiling 

This was an iconic scene, (yeah i cried), Eda walking slowly towards Serkan and the nod from Selin confirming this was Eda.  Touching his face as she does so often, making sure he is real and then as expected fainting, I am sure i heard Serkans heartbeat as he caught her.  What was more heartbreaking was that Selin, who has her phone glued to her hand most of the time, never bothered to show him a photo of Eda while they were in that cabin.  Ugh i hate this woman so badly.  I noticed that Serkan did not have a phone during this episode, so obviously lost at sea??  So how did he call Selin, this is something i still don’t understand, even if he used someone elses phone, he would not know her number by heart i am sure. 

Serkan telling her ”” Today is the first day i have seen your face”” and “”you are a stranger to me”” was harsh words to hear, and Handes acting here was superb, we really felt her pain.  There has been alot of complaints about Serkan and the way he treated Eda here, but we never really knew robot bolat, we saw him the day he met Eda, and things started changing in him soon after that.  We know Leyla called him her executioner, and we saw how he took care of Kaan when he took one of the projects from them.  he is ruthless, emotionless and logical in business.  And Eda as far as he is concerned is business, she owns 45% of her company, and he thinks he has been manipulated and blinded by her in order for her to get the shares. She made him look like a fool in front of his family and friends and he wont let her do it again.  We really have no idea at this stage what lies Selin has told

Loved the handcuff scene, Serkan driving Edas car was a sight i never expected to see!

Eda coming to his house showing him photos was heartbreaking, he refused to even look at them and just kept saying it wasn’t him, he really has put a wall up and wont listen to anything she says.  I was glad to see Engin supporting Eda to him, reminding him he also loved her and she had a right to be angry after what she has gone through in the last 2 months. I did feel sorry for Serkan here, he really has got information overload from everyone and he keeps saying he cant remember.  “Does Selin mean something to you?’, and all he can say is she is the only one in his life that hasn’t changed and therefore represents a safe place for him while he is recovering.  He has never loved Selin, he has made that very clear to her in the past, so nothing has changed.  She does a good job at work, doesn’t put demands on him and it is basically a business relationship.  There is no affection between them or chemistry, his heart belongs to Eda

I think Eda coming to his house has stirred up something and i am sure we saw flashbacks in the fragman of him sitting there among the photos looking sad. The next day at Aydan house, he keeps looking at her and looking away, He is drawn to her and is fighting the feelings.

As @lizacstuff reminded us in her brilliant review, Serkan said “If I lived a hundred times I would fall in love with you a hundred times”, he does not have to remember Eda in order to fall in love with her, and frankly makes for a beautiful story if this is what they are going to show us

I really cant wrap my head around Selin and her evil mind.  Surely she realises Serkan will get some memories back and when he does she is out of the door.  But she seems to think he will still choose her!  This is not just about Serkan its also about her getting revenge on Eda, she does not want her to be happy, and at the moment she is firmly in control of Serkan while his memories are still gone.  Its interesting that Serkan has made no mention to her of the images he is getting of a woman in a yellow dress, as I am sure this would panic Selin as she knows exactly what he is talking about.

I liked that Ferit warned her not to get too used to the situation, and she was swimming in dangerous waters, and in typical Selin bitch style she saw Ceren coming and asked him if he was jealous of her.  This woman is manipulating everyone who she thinks has wronged her and the worse she becomes the better her downfall will be and please can Eda be there for this one.

The final scene of Eda walking in to the cafe was perfect.  She knows the effect she has on Serkan and she made sure she was late so everyone would notice  Of course his circuits started smoking and he got some flashbacks, unfortunately he never see the face of the woman in them so does not know if it is Eda. When she went to him and his heart starting aching she knew then that his heart remembered their love.  The kiss completely confused him as he definitely felt something, and in his panic  he did the logical thing in his mind and proposed to Selin.  And what an awkward speech that was, he stumbled through it and said Selins name while looking at Eda.  Yes it was cruel, but in his mind, he wanted to shut everything down and make sure he was clear about not having any feelings for her.  He didn’t fool any of us!

Aydan....i am shocked that she hid the news of Serkan being alive from Eda, and also shocked that she did not bring him home, it makes no sense and just shows the depth of Selins manipulation, she is controlling everyone at he moment. 

Dennis is lovely, has been such a support to Eda, and will definitely cause some jealous scenes with Serkan

The acting this week from the lead characters was amazing, they never disappoint.  The long hours they put in day after day to bring us this brilliant show makes me in awe of them 

What i want to see in Episode 30

Small details, big difference - this is going to the the theme

We know we are getting the yellow dress, and i have the feeling that this will not be Edas idea.  Maybe she decides at the last minute to go to the party and asks Melo to bring her an outfit to the office for her.  Or if it is her idea, I hope she leaves her coat on until she is in front of Serkan, for maximum effect.  Dancing with Dennis in that dress will definitely being back jealous robot.

The colour changing mug needs to come back, I am hoping Seyfi has brought it to the house, or they go to the Art Life apartment and use it there.

Sirius going for walks with both of them

We know Serkan has some injury to his right hand, but i think they will leave that for 31 perhaps

I want to see Eda change tactics and become distant, this will intrigue Serkan more

We have seen Engin asking Serkan is he not a bit curious about Eda, and here i am hoping that he does look into her life more

Aydan......wow you are going to have to work hard to get any kind of redemption, but she is someone Serkan listens to and trusts, so lets hope she steps up her game and we know Seyfi will always be helping push Serkan and Eda together again.

The girls have been a great support to Eda, and will continue to be, but with Serkan not knowing them it is hard for them to get him to see the real eda.

Sorry this turned out far longer that expected....congratulations if you got to the end!

[drwcn]

I can’t wait for more of your discordance au, I’m a sucker for angsty wangxian! I’m actually really curious about what’s going on with Lan Xichen the whole time he’s gone. Is he recovering for all that time or is there some political plot he needs to take care of? I saw that courtesan Meng Yao tag too which makes me even more intrigued 👀👀👀

Awww you guys >:) Thank you so much for the encouragement. 

Unfortunately, Xichen and Huaisang are not a pair. The hidden agenda of this fic is xiyao (lol sorrah), and I know people tend to feel either YAY or NAY about xiyao so I’ve totally separated the wangixan and xiyao part. You can read one without the other and it wouldn’t make much of a difference at all. At best Meng Yao is mentioned in end of the later wangxian parts once or twice. 

I love Xiyao because I think it’s full of possibilities. Obviously canon!xiyao is tragic and problematic af, but this is an au, so... I do ...what I...want? Meng Yao in this au is his own worst nightmare - a courtesan, and Zewu-jun is the handsome polite gentlemanly amnesiac he saves. 

Below cut are more reasons why Lan Qiren longs for the sweet release of an early qi deviation (arc synopsis of lan xichen & meng yao’s half of the story). 

Lan Xichen’s Arc: where politics turned deadly.

Well, just because Wen Ruohan isn’t a thing doesn’t meant the Yin Irons aren’t a thing. Is there political bullshit waiting to happen? Absolutely. Except our protagonists are proactive this time. 

For months, both Qinghe and Gusu have been getting reports of strange sightings along their Lanling borders. NMJ and LXC have been investigating, and they suspect that JGS may have had something to do with it. Prior to Lan Xichen’s disappearance, he was getting close to finding out the truth. 

What happened was this: 

Xue Yang (who will exist solely in other people’s narration) had killed the Changs and taken a piece of the Yin Iron. Upon capture, XXC and SL (both alive and well and doing their own thing) delivered him to the Chief Cultivator, thinking justice has been served. (Lol. no.). Once JGS got his hands on one of those, he began to plan world domination bad things with it and shit started acting fucky right away, eliciting the suspicion and subsequent investigations of the Lans and Nies. 

Jin Guangshan does wonder how his secrets are being leaked, but he doesn’t get to find out until the end. 

Lan Xichen, on his part, is fairly sure of what’s been causing the appearances of these so called “fierce corpses”. He knows about Lan Yi’s barrier in the Cold Cave, and suspects someone has gotten their hands on a piece of the Yin Iron. Both he and Nie Mingjue suspect Jin Guangshan, and have been quietly collecting proof. 

Jin Guangshan, not about to be defeated so easily, sets up a trap and ambushes Lan Xichen during one of his investigations. LXC was in “plain clothes” as part of the investigation, because it’s dumb to go around investigating dressed as the Sect Leader of Gusu Lan, but during the ambush, Lan Xichen loses Liebing and Shuoyue in the process.  The only thing he has on him is Shuoyue’s sheath when he is found by Meng Yao. 

When Lan Xichen wakes up, he doesn’t remember anything or who he is. He sees a pretty young man who introduces himself as Lianfang. Lan Xichen was wearing blue when he was found, so “Liangfang” calls hims A-Lan. 

Meng Yao’s tragic back story that’s actually tragic:

The bullshit - er, the story - as always, starts with Meng Yao getting kicked down the steps at Jinlintai by his Ho™ of a dad Jin Guangshan. In this universe, Jin Guangshan isn’t just a rich powerful Sect Leader, but also the Chief Cultivator. If anything, he has more reason than ever to make sure Meng Yao isn’t around to besmirch his good name (not that he has any good name to bismirch).

Claiming Meng Yao to be a liar, Jin Guangshan ordered his goons to have Meng Yao “taken care of”, but before that could happen, Madam Jin had come out to see what was the commotion. This was Zixuan’s birthday celebration after all, everything had to be perfect. 

What she saw certainly enraged her, but her husband was about to kill a boy, possibly his own son, spill blood on their son’s day of birth celebration. Such cosmic bad karma she couldn’t possibly accept. “You don’t have to kill him, you absolute buffoon, just make sure he never comes back here!” 

She meant buy his silence with money but Jin Guangshan had a more permanent solution.

Before the day’s out, Meng Yao was sold to a brothel, and was told “that’s where you belong”.  Once, perhaps, he had dreamed about gaining the love of his father, but no longer. Now he simply wants his father ruined and dismembered. 

But first he has to live. 

The madam of the brothel had a keen eye for “good merchandise”, and one good look at young Meng Yao with those big eyes, delicate frame and dimples and she knew she could make big bucks off of him. 

(And before anyone asks how old MY is here, the answer is: young. One of the many reasons why I would personally like to volunteer to stab JGS until it looks like he’s been cursed with the Thousand Holes Curse.) 

The first couple of years were decidedly grim for MY. He was kept away from customers (mercifully), but he was a brutally trained in the art of dance and music. They kept him fed enough to dance but not too much to “ruin his figure”. His instructors quickly found that the youth was a quick study and got up no matter how many times he was trampled on (literally and metaphorically). It was no secret that life was gruesome, but Meng Yao survived. Meng Yao made his debut. Meng Yao became famous.

The establishment where he made his debut renamed him Lianfang - to collect/gather fragrance - and so from then on, he became Lianfang-gongzi. Soon, his art (and other stuff) caught the eye of an obliging patron who purchased him from the madam. 

The patron, by all accounts, was a brute of man who had more appreciation for the liquor in his cup than the arts, but he was a cultivator, wealthy enough, connected to many other cultivator gentry familiues, and most importantly, led a subsidiary clan of the Chief Cultivator. As his prized courtesan and dancer, Meng Yao served at his whim, entertained at his parties and made happy his friends, all of whom were practicing cultivators or at the very least connected to the cultivation realm. 

Our evil gremlin would not be our evil gremlin if he didn’t make the best of every situation. Meng Yao quickly discovered that not only was he particularly talented at getting people to divulge information to him, but that men were significantly uninhibited after sex and alcohol. Armed with a sweet face, an eidetic memory, and a hate inside him that longed to see Jin Guangshan severed limp by limp, he began his revenge plot. 

(Here, I took inspiration from Nirvana in Fire’s character Princess Xuanji of the fallen Hua kingdom who was sold into servitude but established Hong’xiu’zhao, a spy network of girls/women who either worked as courtesans or secondary spouses of noblemen. Her goal was to create chaos and dissension within the royal court and government, like mites eating away at a large tree from within.) 

Meng Yao amassed an enormous amount of intels on gentry families and evidences of the many underhanded conducts of the Chief Cultivator himself. He did this through his own work and through the other women working in his network, all of whom have been wrongfully aggrieved in some way. He promised them that one day he would help them to freedom. 

For five years he’s been collecting secrets of gentry families, and had been stirring discord for three, weakening their cohesiveness, and using their growing animosity to weaken Jin Guangshan’s control on his subordinates. Naturally, Meng Yao heard about Xue Yang and the Yin Iron. It was also him who had been drawing attention to it for the other major sects. 

Meng Yao doesn’t know Lan Xichen is the Sect Master of Gusu Lan, but he has no interest in hurting a man from nowhere. “You can stay here with me until you are better. After that, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to be on your way.”

Physically Lan Xichen recovered quickly, but when it was clear his memories wouldn’t be coming back, Meng Yao allowed him to stay. 

The rest, as they say, is history. 

~

Meng Yao has been Lianfang, been the famed courtesan, for longer than he cares to remember. He’s been had, used, and passed around by so many men that their faces are just blurried sillouettes in his memory. And yet, he’s never felt for a moment that he belonged to any of them, not even his patron, who possessed his contract and could resell him back to a lesser establishment and ruin him in a heartbeat. 

But when A-Lan held him in his eyes, warm and dark like a summer’s night, without judgement or expectations, only gentle sweetness and a fond regard, Meng Yao could almost pretend he was just A-Yao, the name whispered reverently by those soft lips. The hand that held his moved to stroke his cheek, almost shy, and Meng Yao realized with a fearful pang that if this man from nowhere with nothing were to ask, Meng Yao could most definitely become his. 

The thought scared him more than he was willing to admit. 

~

The message delivered by the pigeon was clear. Meng Yao crumbled the slip of paper in his hand, then set it aflame in the candlelight. 

The man who’s been living with him for the past four months, who he knew as A-Lan, who he trusted enough to take to bed, was the Sect Master of Gusu Lan: Lan Huan, Lan Xichen.

Zewu-jun.  

Everyone, even a non-cultivator such as himself, has heard of Gusu’s Wei Wuxian, Lan Xichen’s young widower, left alone after not even six months of marriage. 

But if even he wasn’t married, Lan Xichen could never accept him as he was, no matter now much his personal desire wanted him. 

His hands shook. He balled them into fists. 

Meng Yao should’ve known... he should’ve known it was too good to be true. 

No matter, he told himself. This too, is an opportunity, perhaps the only one I will ever have. I will use it to destroy Jin Guangshan once and for all. 

~

Lan Xichen made his way to the window, and gazed out into the courtyard where A-Yao was reading under the willow tree. 

You should go home, a voice inside him said. Go home to relief Wangji of his burden, to release Wuxian from his mourning. Go back to the seat of Sect Master and the responsibilities waiting for you. 

One more day, another voice fought back. Just one more day. 

He doesn’t leave for another month. 

[dtrhwithalex]

TV | Shadow and Bone (2021-)

Non-spoiler-free review of the first season of Netflix's adaptation of the 'Grishaverse' novels by Leigh Bardugo, which was released on the streaming platform on 23 April 2021.

Directors: Lee Toland Krieger (101, 102), Dan Liu (103, 104), Mairzee Almas (105, 106), Jeremy Webb (107, 108). Writers: Eric Heisserer (101, 102, 108), Daegan Fryklind (103, 108), Vanya Asher (104), M. Scott Veach (105), Nick Culbertson (105), Shelley Meals (106), Christina Strain (107).

Having never read any of the source material, I did not particularly know what to expect when I started this show. It also, at that point, had not dawned on me yet that 'Six of Crows', which I had occasionally seen being talked about by people I followed, was related to this story. Honestly, my initial assumption was that this show would probably appeal to me as much as THE WITCHER did, of which I had also not read any of the books (and neither have I played the games), which was essentially: Oh look, a slightly dark fantasy show with great visuals and an actor I recognise and appreciate on screen, this could be some nice downtime watching which I will walk away from with the thought "Hey, that was fun" and not think about it much further, until more episodes come out.

But, honestly, SHADOW AND BONES is great. I tremendously enjoy the characters, the world this is set in is very intriguing and I am absolutely curious to see where this goes next. The visuals are stunning and the costuming is fantastic as well. There was the occasional visual, I guess, effect where the periphery becomes slightly blurry and/or warped which kind of threw me off, but other than that it was really wonderful to look at.

My favourite character is without a doubt, and also unsurprisingly so, Ben Barnes as the Darkling, Aleksander. Ben is a fantastic actor and I've enjoyed him in everything I've seen him in so far, and he is really excellent in this, too. His performance is so nuanced and he brings so much to every scene he is in. The difference in his performance between the present-day Aleksander and that of the flashback revealing how the Fold was created, is so nice to watch. I am very excited to see him bring even more to this character as the story goes on. The gorgeous costuming obviously helps, but he has such a presence every time he enters a scene, it is wonderful to watch. The final shot of him coming out of the Fold has me very excited for what's to come. And, of course, he is just incredibly attractive as the Darkling. Not gonna lie, that definitely is the reason why I started watching it. I will always love the villains, and Ben is doing a tremendous job with this role.

I also highly enjoyed the dynamic between Aleksander and Alina throughout the show, and while I was at first reluctant to ship it, after 'Show Me Who You Are' I was definitely on board with that, and it is now very much my favourite episode (interestingly, it was co-written by M. Scott Veach, who was also a writer on LEVERAGE, my favourite show of all time). Both Jessie and Ben bring so much to their characters and their relationship, and I think it is very obvious in their performance that, as actors, they are very comfortable with each other and trust each other in their scenes together. It is wonderful to watch. I've also really enjoyed Jessie as Alina, and I think they're doing a terrific job in bringing this character to life. She's also just incredibly adorable and a literal ray of sunshine.

I've also tremendously enjoyed the Crows. Kaz, Inej and Jesper are a lot of fun to watch and their scenes were definitely among my favourites. Jesper especially has very quickly become a favourite. I can definitely see why tumblr is so enamoured with this small gang of criminals. While I did not particularly care for the storyline of Nina and Matthias, I am curious to see how that changes now with the overlap of their story with that of the Crows. I did enjoy their banter a lot, though, which I think might only be elevated through the association with especially Jesper.

I don't mean to leave Mal out, not at all, but I really also did not particularly care for his character. That isn't to say that Archie did not do a tremendous job in that role, he was great. I just much preferred the dynamic between Alina and Aleksander over that of Alina and Mal. I hope that the second season will be able to change my mind about Mal, especially since, from what I can tell, he and Alina will be together for a lot longer than in this first season.

Overall I think this is a tremendous first season of this show. It definitely managed to make me excited for this story and for upcoming seasons. It even intrigues me enough to consider getting my hands on the novels. Or at least take a glimpse into one and see how I'll like it.

I'm not good with ratings, I am not objective enough for that, so I'll leave that out. But if you enjoy fantasy stories with great, charming villains, this is a good pick.

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[the image is the show's official poster taken from the imdb page]