#he's such a boyfailure help

[necrosin]

first position, second position, plié, arabesque —— it's easy, to recall ballet and movements thoroughly taught and fully memorized, immortalized in his mind and body for the rest of time ; it's a concentration tactic, one that he's used time and time again to focus and center himself, something that has never failed him. not once, not amidst studying nor looking after mytho ( an ache, sharp as a poorly cushioned landing, knees buckling ) nor anything that's ever required an ounce of his own focus.

—— until now, that is, because naturally should one thing begin to fail everything else shall, too, a piece falling and shattering the rest.

irritation smarts / he's been trying to read this passage for the better part of an HOUR AT THIS POINT, yet no amount of refocusing techniques can sharpen his focus nor bring his attention back around or anything because —— BECAUSE ——

❝ —— duck, ❞ too sharp, a pirouette off kilter, a quill shredding paper. fakir throws his frustration at others, externalizes it fully, an unwieldy and cruel thing / he's never quite managed to stifle it and doesn't know how, not even in the face of her / there's that soft, melancholic ebb of guilt that pulls at something that must be his soul if not his heart. she emotes everything, anything and everything, eyes overly expressive and mouth dropping open and LOOKING AT @heartinhands HURTS / heart skittering and racing / he wishes he could ignore it / ignore her / but it's FUTILE, isn't it?

what a title. fakir : a study in futility. how sad. felled by a duck—girl that —— stop that right there. don't you dare.

duck, duck, hovering and flitting about, a bird even in the body of a girl, her proximity distracting to the point of nearby madness. he can't look at her / doesn't want to look at her / LOOKS AT HER ( bright as the sun, luminescent as the moon, he could vomit and probably should ) and her soft, shocked expression. ❝ what ( ... ) ❞ a steady inhale / he makes an attempt at softening himself, at soothing the twitching muscle in his cheek, at unfurrowing his brow, palms pressed flat against the pages, ❝ are you doing? ❞

NONVERBAL PROMPTS. —— ∗ 33﹕ sender hovers over receiver’s shoulder as they complete a task .

[frobby]

I think it would be really funny if rin was the more helpful one around his house. Like u would think rin would be the disrespectful one who always bails on housework or mass but its actually yukio who would always have an excuse not to go or forget about chores to the point that rin just does them instinctively now

[sleepytownez]

Congratulations! You’re Traumatized! ☆

[apprentice-sharkface]

CAN SOMEONE HIT ON ME?

PLEASE?

I AM VERY LONELY AND NEED THE ATTENTION

[boxwinebaddie]

UNCLE NINA WRITES WEIRD JK STAN LETTERS!

hello benevolent angel people!

( because you're wonderful but bc you're doing gods work by supporting my dead fanfic from hell. c:’ )

so this is a lil...experimental? but bc i've been dabbling on that one ask large lore ask that set before kyle knows raven of crimson dawn is his stan, i've gotten very attached to writing the silly jersey letters to dead stan in his journal again. ( again, nina lore is that it's what a friend had me do when my first cat passed away.

i still write to her. <3 )

but this is just something i wrote to get back into the habit of writing again. i put it on docs and i used a font which...okay? tbh, i think looks exactly like i want jk's handwriting to look. like its very swirly, he is my calligraphy king. i didn't proof it bc i just wrote...all of it tonight like a weird crazy person.

also i realize jk sounds...a lot like me

— but he Is me, tbh?

like in some facets i did give him lil pieces of myself so he could grow into an uber tall thicc as hell academic hot jersey talk shit get hit boy.

( i also do think he's a lot goofier with stan in his little letters esp since he doesn't think that anyone is going to read them they are just his lil vent space. let it out king! )

as for the timeline...i think it's pre!rm bonus content? like i dropped a little context about stuff that happened before the fic, but i think it's probably written anywhere in the last 1-2 years of rm before kyle went to that crimson dawn concert. i'm not sure what compelled me to write it i just...really like vulnerable jersey just being a jersey dirtbag but like kneeling by the stan shrine and asking for light.

speaking of...as far as triggers go. mostly the spelling is just bad, help, but jersey does talk a lot about stan dying and is very...distressed about it. he's also...really depressed and is not at the moment coping super well, but is reaching out for help. <3 always reach out for help when you need it. i didn't mention anything specific, but he does just mention thinking he's not a good person, feeling ugly, unworthy, lost, etc...TW FOR HIM BEING SO VULNERABLE AND CUTE ALSO.

he is...my secret loverboy prince.

he is my lo-...

my L-

anyways...ROLL CLIP!

[rakkuntoast]

im so far behind to whatever my dash is screaming at rn

i'm just catching up with fit's vod i can't believe forever called him philza, this man says he's over him and then pulls this shit LMAO

[unnamed-proxy]

I love kidscove so much I just wish it wasn’t popularized by TSAMS where it’s the most boring and forced version of their dynamic ever conceived

[lowkeyren]

NOT EVERYONE KNOWS!

in which — being in a secret relationship with them but they’re all idiots

featuring — dan feng, blade, jing yuan (separately) x gn!reader

wc: total 2.6k, from event req: here!, debut fic for my milestone event yippee, they keep fumbling but it’s ok cus they’re hot, reblogs w comments are appreciated, please enjoy!! <3

#DAN FENG

+ wait… since when are you guys married?!

dan feng? i just know he’s gonna mess this shit up so badly. he’s the high elder, but also the epitome of boyfailure. he really can’t help it, those terms of endearment just slip out so easily when you're by his side.

and it doesn’t stop there. he’s completely oblivious to the shocked silence and wide-eyed stares from others; for example, he might be holding your hand absentmindedly while discussing serious matters, and only snaps back to reality when you cough awkwardly.

but unfortunately, it’s not that simple when the gang (re: high cloud quintet) find out about your relationship. disclaimer: chaos ensues

dan feng immediately sits up upon seeing you enter the room, a fresh batch of tea brewing in hand. the discussion among the group gradually fades into the background as his eyes trail your figure while you carefully pour tea into each person’s teacup.

the piquant aroma fills his senses, and he can’t stop a small smile from creeping across his face when you take a seat next to him. he takes a sip, the delicate flavor enveloping his taste buds, leaving behind a delightful aftertaste that lingers long after the tea is swallowed. 

“—thus we require a substantial amount of time, speaking of which, anything on your end dan feng?” 

he finds himself watching you out of the corner of his eye. “imbibitor lunae…?” and it’s almost impossible for him to tear his gaze away from you. 

“hello? dan feng?” he snaps back to reality, blinking a few times before processing the initial question. “a-ahem, yes. darling, could you pass me the report?” he says, turning to your side.

the room falls silent, and a shocked gasp escapes from baiheng's mouth before jingliu clasps a hand over it; jing yuan shifts in his seat, exchanging a bewildered glance with yingxing. 

“hm..? did you forget to bring it?” his tone is soft and gentle, a stark contrast to the shocked expression on everyone’s face. “are you alright my dear? your face is quite red, do y—”

before he can finish, you manage to find your voice, trying to mask your embarrassment with a strained smile. “no, i didn’t forget the report, and i’m perfectly fine…  though our friends might need a minute to recover.” 

baiheng, still wide-eyed, blurts out, “hold on, are you guys… in a relationship?” 

dan feng blinks in confusion ”oh, did i forget to mention that part?” —to which you hear someone across the table audibly facepalm. 

you sigh, voice strained but laced with amusement, “i can’t believe you never told them we got married.” your words are followed by the sound of a cup shattering on the floor.

“wait… since when are you guys married?!” you pat jingyuan’s back, trying to stifle a laugh. “since last year.”

“seriously, and you never thought of telling us.”

“it was an honest mistake, yingxing.” dan feng replies, crossing his arms defensively.

baiheng shakes her head, “an honest mistake? like forgetting to water your plants, not like forgetting to tell us you got married!”

“well congratulations, i suppose. though a heads-up would’ve been nice.” jingliu manages a wry smile, though she internally cringes at baiheng’s exaggerated (or not) reaction, opting to just let her be. 

"sorry, it slipped my mind.” dan feng's nonchalant shrug only serves to further fuel jingyuan's irk, his eye visibly twitching; yingxing lets out a groan, still reeling from the revelation. you can’t help but chuckle softly at the scene unfolding, taking a sip of your tea. 

“you weren’t planning to tell us at all?!”

"honest mistake."  you can tell he’s just teasing his friends by the way a small smirk appears on his face as he attempts to hide it behind his teacup. (you nearly had to restrain baiheng as she tried to leap over the table.)

well, it seems like you’re not going to get anything done today.

#BLADE

+ easy, just buy me a nice ring and leave the lying part to me.

please. if you had a penny for every time blade almost exposes that you’re dating, you’d have three pennies. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened thrice. 

the first time was when he received a call from you while in the car with firefly. he answered almost immediately, without realizing that wearing earphones does not necessarily mean he isn't able to be heard in real life, just that others can’t hear what he’s listening to. 

“went to boomerville n the locals said they knew u” —silverwolf, probably.

second was when someone confessed their feelings to you, and he “instinctively” jumped in to say you have a husband. "what husband? i don't see a ring on your finger." so now, that same man won't stop asking you about this so-called “husband” (that doesn’t exist). 

and third time, well we’ll see.

“are you sure you don’t want me to kill him.” 

you huff out in annoyance, “this wouldn’t even be an issue if you hadn’t mentioned i had a husband.” sighing, you push yourself off the bed and turn to face your boyfriend.

“...that aside, how exactly do you plan on handling him?” blade raises an eyebrow, a hint of amusement in his gaze. “easy! just buy me a nice ring, and leave the lying part to me.”

if blade hadn’t seriously considered taking care of the man before, he certainly seems determined to do so now. “hey what’s with that reaction…”

blade’s eyes narrow as he takes in your response. “a ring huh, what are you going to do with it?” you roll your eyes, trying to stifle a smile. “what else? pretend i have a husband.” 

he sighs, “is this really the best solution you can come up with?” (he really doesn't like the idea of you having a husband…that isn’t him, fake or not)  “yup!” you reply with a grin, “i’ll be eagerly awaiting the ‘surprise’!” with that, you plant a quick kiss on his cheek and swiftly exit the room.

oh you’re lucky he loves you. (even though this is totally, 100% his fault)

—

“hmm, bladie? why the sudden interest in jewellery?” kafka smirks, curiosity dancing in her eyes. blade chooses to stay silent, picking out the most expensive ring; and kafka’s expression only broadens with amusement as she watches his intense scrutiny of the display.

“planning something special, are we?” she teases, leaning closer. “or are you just trying to impress someone?”

blade finally glances up, his face inscrutable. “just taking care of business.” he replies tersely, slipping the ring onto the counter along the pile of designer jackets. 

“right… well, i’ll be interested to see how this turns out.”

—

“what?” the man in front of you asks, his confusion evident. 

you tilt your head slightly, trying to gauge his reaction. “you seem surprised. did you think i was joking?” you casually brush a strand of hair away, subtly flaunting the ring to him —and to any onlookers; trying not to crack a smile when you hear a loud gasp followed by a flurry of hushed whispers.

he grits his teeth, clearly embarrassed and humiliated by the commotion. “i didn’t expect you to be married… especially since you never wear the ring.”

“or is it that you’re not all that attached to your husband?” the audacity of this man… just as you’re at a loss of words, a firm hand grips the man’s shoulder from behind.

blade yanks the man back, and away from you. “you’re pushing your luck.”  the sudden motion causes the man to stumble, his face pale with a mix of surprise and fear.

“w-who the hell are you?!” the man’s voice trembles as he tries to regain his composure. meanwhile, you notice a crowd beginning to form around you, with some people eagerly pulling out their phones to record the escalating drama.

“leave, now.” you can tell blade’s patience is wearing thin, dangerously so.

the man’s eyes narrow in defiance. “why should i? you’re the one to talk when you’re hiding behind a disguise.” blade pins the man with a steely gaze, his intense stare making the man stiffen under its weight.

but what you didn’t expect was for blade to turn around, remove his mask and letting it dangle from one ear; he then raises your hand to his lips, placing a tender kiss upon it.

the man’s face immediately drains of colour, and the crowd around you erupts into a cacophony of gasps and murmurs. you’re not sure whether he's more shocked by blades' bold gesture or by the fact that a notorious criminal is standing right in front of him. (its the latter)

the man, now visibly shaken, scrambles away, yelling out a “sorry!” before disappearing into the crowd. blade pulls you away, ignoring the flashes of cameras and ducks into a nearby alley.

the next morning, you wake up to a barrage of notifications on your phone. you discover the group chat flooded with messages from your friends.

“@barcodewrist @[you] explain yourselves”

“Bladie, so that was what the ring was for~” 

“bro i cant believe this old ass man has rizz”

you quickly type out a message asking for context, in which you only receive a link from silverwolf. as you click in, you can’t help but wish you can unsee what’s on the screen.

“‘YOUR NAME’, IDENTIFIED IN ASSOCIATION WITH STELLARON HUNTER ‘BLADE’: WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE. BOUNTY SET AT 3.5 BILLION.” and attached below is a video of what transpired yesterday. 

“great” you mutter under your breath, “not only am i dating a wanted criminal, now i'm one too.” you shoot a quick message to the group chat “any tips on staying out of trouble when your boyfriend’s a fugitive? asking for a friend... and my sanity.”

on the bright side, at least you’ll be greeted by a very pleased blade, now publicly acknowledged as your husband —oh and don’t question the second ring on your finger.

#JING YUAN

+ stop you're not allowed to smile at me like that. / like what?

how do i even start. he’s so smug, please throw a rock at him and wipe that “:3” off his face.

you really do sometimes wonder if jing yuan ever truly intended to keep this relationship a secret, especially by how he practically transforms into a lovesick puppy whenever you’re within a 10 meter radius. 

goodluck because he's also such a tease, an insufferable one. despite that, you can’t deny there’s something endearing about how he always seems to light up when you’re around, his constant teasing remarks making it harder to stay mad whenever you call him out for being “too lax”. 

after all, he may be a headache, but he’s your headache —one that comes with a hefty dose of affection and a penchant for making every single moment spent together memorable.

being the general’s secretary, and his lover isn’t an easy job. 

you’re focused on the task before you; reviewing documents, scheduling meetings, coordinating logistics for high-stakes missions —ensuring no crucial information slips through the cracks. 

but you can’t help but feel a pair of eyes boring into you. it’s a subtle sensation, a weight that pulls your awareness away from the task at hand. you glance up from your desk, only to be met by jing yuan’s gaze, fixed on you with an intensity that makes your pulse quicken.

“jing yuan, what are you doing?” you ask, but he doesn’t answer. though a smile slowly spreads across his face as he continues to watch you. his overwhelming stare makes it difficult to concentrate…

and worse? he looks utterly and hopelessly in love.

“stop, you're not allowed to smile at me like that.” the words come out softer than intended; he leans in slightly, the warmth in his expression only deepening.

“and why not?” he asks, his voice carries a hint of amusement. the twinkle in his eyes suggests that he knows exactly what he’s doing, and it only adds to your annoyance. 

“because” you reply, trying to sound exasperated, “you’re looking at me as if you’re in love with me or something!” —and your handsome face makes it impossible to focus.

jing yuan’s smile only widens, clearly enjoying your reaction. “is that so? i didn’t realise my smile had such an effect on you.” (you hope his pants catch on fire because he’s obviously lying about being unaware of the effect his presence has on you)

“and i am in love with you.” 

that, in fact, did not ease the fluttering in your chest. “shh!” you quickly cover his mouth with your hand; you hold your grip for a moment longer, feeling the warmth of his breath against your palm.

“hmm… so i can't even look at my beloved partner now?” his voice comes out slightly muffled and distorted due to your playful assault on his face. you give his cheek one last, harsh pinch before finally letting him go.

you heave a sigh of relief once you’re sure no one heard anything, you loosen your grip but keep your palm resting on his face. with a playful pinch, you squeeze his cheek. “you tease!” you furrow your brows, though a small smile tugs at your lips despite your effort to remain stern.

you shake your head with a smile, “do you have any idea how hard it is to stay focused when you’re looking at me like that?” the admission slips out before you can stop it, and you feel a flush rise to your cheeks.

“i know,” he replies with a grin, “and i wouldn’t change a thing.”

jing yuan rests his chin on his hand, his elbow propped up on your desk; the warmth of his gaze and the cheeky grin on his face makes it hard to stay frustrated at him. 

“you’re impossible,” you say with a mock scowl, though your tone carries a lighthearted edge. “but it’s also hard to stay mad at you.”

he chuckles softly, clearly pleased with your reaction. he leans in a bit more, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “oh? then would you like to head out—”

“you wish.” you cut him off with a deadpan look, “that stack of papers has been sitting there since this morning, and it’s not going to magically sort itself out.”

you gesture toward the mountain of documents on your desk, which has only grown throughout the day. he sighs, settling himself comfortably into the seat beside you. you pick up your pen as you try to regain your focus again amidst the lingering warmth of his presence.

this time, you really do consider throwing a rock at him when his head falls on your shoulder as he dozes off just five minutes later.

but hey, at least he makes it clear that he’s head over heels for you, even if it comes with a side of embarrassment, and a few near heart attacks. 

MASTERLIST ; EVENT M.LIST

[aveloka-draws]

Okay, seriously. I want to know more about your Saleos, what he's likes, how he met Kallamar and why he's so devoted to him, how he interact with the cult, bishops, and Kallamar's other followers. Your design and comic really made me intrigued about the guy who was willing to go all Mary Shelley for our fabulous boyfailure of a squid.

Since he lived his whole life in Anchordeep, he had a lot of experience treating sick followers while at the same time teaching them to take their afflictions as a blessig. Helped keep faith high even when Kallamar would punish some of his acolytes, earning the title of disciple and joining the other consorts.

An unexpected part of his role as disciple was to just listen to the god talk, becoming sort of a confidant for him. He shared with Saleos about himself, the old faith, and the many things he dreaded.

During the time they shared together Saleos learned that the gods could love, mourn and fear. And that his god feared death above anything else.

At least thats my take on him ✌

[scaramouchecest]

- boyfailure!scara au hcs curzzzz im crazy

warnings : smutty thoughts , just general nsfw .. can be modern setting if you want. very ooc lol

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA who cant have sex to save his life .. sweaty n shaky hands, cock painfully hard, and cant do foreplay at all .. hes trying though

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA who literally cant put on a condom to save his life, has to watch those sex education help videos on how to put on a condom with a banana as an example

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA who gave up on wearing condoms and quite literally raw-dogs it. he always tries to put one on, but always messes up so he just fucks you without one

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA who’s incredibly messy. cum everywhere, he has the most obvious breeding kink its pathetic because he gets so giddy yet so hard from the thought of you carrying a being created of him

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA who doesnt let his cum drip out of you, saying he “needs to make sure it doesnt drip out”

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA who is so weak, he tries to hold you against the wall while he fucks you but he cant because he has the strength of a twig ..

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA who cannot do backshots .. he gets ahead of himself a lot, its pathetic. he collapses on you during sex a lot

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA who likes to play music during sex, and tries to match his thrusts to the music but really sucks at it (dont mention it to him) ((cbat))

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA who’s slightly scared of oral, thinking it’ll ‘get your mouth dirty’, so you have to reaffirm him that its okay

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA whos so corny during sex and cant keep his stupid mouth shut .. it sounds straight out of a porno, using what he learned to use i guess

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA who would literally collapse on top of you after he cums, and when hes close whimpers and whines like a dog

— BOYFAILURE!SCARA who’s just a little confused, but its okay, you can help him

a/n : im gonna such on his boy clit ouuuuuhhhh i wanna write trans scaraa :3 first post on ghis acc ^_^ its 3 am as i fjnish writing ghis foodnight

[sirhamburrger]

blue lock characters when you come home after a bad week at work

characters: yoichi isagi, meguru bachira, rensuke kunigami, seishiro nagi, reo mikage

tags: gn!reader, reader is referred to as "cutie" in bachira's and "darling" in kunigami's, reo being a rich boyfailure

a/n: first ever blue lock post lol (divider by @cafekitsune)

yoichi isagi 潔 世一 : the quintessential gentleman

“hey, what's wrong? you know you can talk to me about anything.”

if you feel like talking about it, he'll sit beside you patiently and listen (even if it takes an hour and a half). if you don't feel like talking about it, he'll get you a cup of your comfort beverage and take a short nap with you

you'll definitely feel a lot better when you finally wake up in his arms, and he'll talk things through with you so patiently!

he makes sure to remind you of how strong and brave you are, and how much he loves you!!

“i want you to know that i love you and i will support you always, no matter what.”

meguru bachira 蜂楽 廻 : the supportive jokester

“look who's all moody today! c'mon, cutie, won't you lighten up a little?”

when he realizes there's something wrong, it's like someone flipped a switch on him because he gets so unbelievably serious and sits you down at the dining table

after he coaxes the full story out of you, he peppers your face with kisses, wiping your tears away gently

he will then proceed to hit you with a barrage of the worst dad jokes known to man until you're laughing at him laughing at himself

“i know i find it hard to take things seriously sometimes, but you? you're something i will always be serious about. i will always make time for you.”

rensuke kunigami 國神 錬介: the dedicated sweetheart

he doesn't say anything at first, just wraps you up in a big bear hug (he doesn't let you go for the next five minutes)

in typical malewife fashion, he makes you a snack and runs you a bath. while you relax in the tub, he somehow manages to clean the whole house??

afterwards, he makes dinner with you in silence (man's love language is definitely quality time)

when you finally decide to open up to him, he's holding your hand throughout and lets you take your time explaining without interruptions

“thank you for telling me all this, darling, so i can support you like how you. deserve. i know you'll get through it like you always do.”

seishiro nagi 凪 誠士郎: the silent rock

he notices something’s off, but he holds off on saying anything in case he's wrong. as the day goes on he notices you're not your usual self and silently takes a seat beside you

“...you okay?”

you break down crying and all he can think to do is to pull you into his lap and hold you tight. he nods silently as you tell him everything, and though he doesn't say much, whatever advice he does give is surprisingly pretty helpful

he takes you on a snack run after even if it's 4 am! because “nothing is too much of a hassle when it comes to making you happy.”

and that makes you cry even more (happy tears this time <3)

reo mikage 御影 玲王: uh... he's doing his best??

he finds himself temporarily frozen when you walk through the front door with the most sullen expression on your face. at first he thinks it's something he might've done wrong

all it takes for you to break down is a light squeeze of your palm, and now he's utterly clueless on what to do. he awkwardly pats your back

growing up a sheltered only child with a grand total of one true friend, he's never been in a position where he had to comfort someone

“i can pull some strings, get your horrible boss fired… or you could quit your job and stay at home! yeah, we can do that…”

you make fun of him for being bad at comforting people, but it definitely brings your mood up a little

you end the night watching your comfort tv series on the couch with him and all is well!

bllk masterlist || general masterlist

© sirhamburrger 2024

[jessamine-rose]

Aaaahhhh Navina!! Thank you so much for the continuation. I loved everything about it <3

Ngl reading it makes me want to extend Boss’s misery and delay their happy ending HAHAHA. Ironically, a “loveless” marriage is the closest thing to an expression of love from Darling….for now. Perhaps someday, she’ll give Boss some peace of mind but not today ψ(｀∇´)ψ

So I ended up fast forwarding a bit and writing this drabble for Boss x Friend! Darling……ahahaha I hope you all enjoy this scenario >:’3

Note:: All Boss x Friend! Darling stories take place in the AU where Boss wins in One Last Call

-

There is no romantic proposal.

But that is fine for a “marriage of convenience.”Rather than an emotional proposal in a special place, the two of them are just signing legal documents in Darling’s home.

Aside from the marriage contract, there are many things to discuss—ring designs, living arrangements, cover story for their coworkers, whether or not they’ll have a wedding. The whole time, Darling acts serious and meticulous; it’s a side of her that Boss doesn’t see often.

Then again, he expects nothing less from a senior manager of Celestia Inc.

If things went his way, this marriage would be “real.” Alas, Darling still refuses to give her heart to him, hence why Boss is yielding to her terms. It doesn’t mean that he has given up, though.

Now that they’re married, he will have more opportunities to win her over emotionally. And thanks to this agreement, no one else will pursue Darling or judge them for their previously single status.

“And that’s it.” Darling signs the prenup and looks up to face him. “Here’s to our shared future. Let’s hope you don’t do anything to make me regret this decision.”

“I could say the same,” he shoots back. “I can only imagine the many ways you will test my patience moving forward.”

Not that he dislikes it. By now, the both of them know that Darling has him wrapped about her finger. It’s funny, really—in his desire to control her, he is controlled by his desire for her.

“If you are going to blame anyone later on,” he continues, “it should be yourself for forcing my hand to begin with.”

“Now, now.” At that, Darling’s lips curve into a familiar smile. Her next words sound better than any yes or I do. “Don’t be so mean to your wife~”

Now all that’s left to own is her heart.

-

And they lived happily ever after—jk it will still take months/ years for Boss to make Darling say “I love you” to him. At least he gets a partial victory in another universe xD

I still have more ideas for what happens in Boss x Friend! Darling’s relationship before they reach this point, and aahhhh I can’t wait to make Boss even more of an asshole + boyfailure <3

I hope you don't mind that I did a small continuation to fuel the thoughts of making him a boyfailure btw LMAOOOO

It should've been a loveless marriage.

It should have. That should've been what was expected from the two of them.

And yet, as he found himself one night, years past their first day in being 'married', he found himself unable to put focus on such a thing. To remember that, in a way, this isn't what he could bargain for in the long run.

It was a night like no other. A peaceful, idyllic one, if not for her back turned to him. And his turned back to her as well, for the sake of personal space.

Husband and wife, turning themselves against each other. Such a record, he found himself thinking, but he couldn't bring himself to say yet another word.

Boss— no, Alexander— often had troubles in his mind. Even as the Boss of one of the partner companies of Celestia Inc., the one that focuses on MixMatch as a whole and running his own shady business below, he still found himself thinking through the night.

It left him to stay up, unable to get a wink of rest. And he despised the thought.

Normally, he would find himself able to relax and sleep after 4 hours. He was an insomniac, but nothing that couldn't be solved if he idled long enough with nothing in his mind. Although, as he found out, this was not what he had hoped to occur.

Not with her.

After a while of idling and praying to Gods above to help him sleep to no avail, he turned his body to face her back. He could hear her breathing, even when they're not too close to do such a thing, and his hand quietly reached over to grab hers.

He isn't fond of vulnerability. He's never fond of thinking he should be... Open to someone without thinking they'd stab you on the back.

He hates it. Loathes it to the very core of his being. He couldn't fathom of how people can trust those that could bring them harm, that could simply ruin them if they so much as tried to put their trust and get in fights with them.

But as he held her hand, he felt his shoulders relax. He felt his body lose its tension.

... He's such a fool, he thinks. Just how badly must he crave for someone who'd never love him, when he, himself, can never bring the same commitment?

Maybe it was a curse. A poison he willingly drank, foolishly thinking that no one would catch his eye.

He knew his days were numbered, but in such a night like this, he found himself thinking that it wouldn't be so bad.

He's grown softer. Cordial. Over the years he spent with her, his walls weathered down and became nothing but mere wooden remains. He even found himself thinking that he could simply be laid to rest, and he'd be happy, so as long she remains by his side.

But he will never say that to her.

His pride, his ego, his mind will never let him.

He can cry in anguish all he wants, and truly, he could— but he knew that the day they were together, it will always remain this way.

It was unrequited from the beginning. Maybe he's deluded himself so much into thinking he's had a chance, but he isn't stupid.

So, for now, he will cherish the littlest things he gets from her. He'll cherish the only thing she's allowed him to get.

Her heart will be a grandeur treasure he'd take and never return, but he's content in the time they spent together. In a bit of an irony, he found himself thinking that their time was worth more than just an organ.

After all, what use is a heart if it stopped beating?

Will there be use of an organ when the memories will be the thing left beating?

He didn't knew. No one else knew.

And for once, that left him in a stupor.

Perhaps he can think about this some other time.

Not when he has her in his hand, just like tonight.

[megapocalypse]

"Oh Binghe doesn't need to be in a relationship he needs to be in therapy" THE WEIRD LITTLESPACE MANBABY × MILF ROLEPLAY IS THE THERAPY !!!

None of you understand, you don't get it: A normal therapist can't fix them because they're fucking insane.

Like SQQ isn't a normal guy who is forced to date an insane guy, he's an insane guy who thinks he's normal dating another insane guy.

Could you imagine SQQ actually going to therapy?

"Oh I'm not grieving for LBH"

"You called out his name multiple times, you haven't eaten or slept, you picked up all the pieces of his broken sword and made a grave-"

"Nonono you don't understand I'm not grieving, I just lost my appetite and I've been bored lately so-"

It's like when you find someone else who's also neurodivergent and has the same hyperfixations as you, you can both telepathically communicate via autistic swag and the spiderman pointing meme. Like the pieces just fit.

Bingqiu are two cringefail losers who fell in love with each other because they're cringefail soulmates. Their cringefail is what binds them together 💕

The teacher/student boymommy roleplay they're doing in public in front of everyone including the sect leader is just their deranged way of therapeutically working through their issues together. SQQ is so repressed he twists himself into a pretzel and shrivels like a prune and LBH is a cringebabypuppyboy yandere chuuni with abandonment issues.

Falling into the routine of milf roleplay is what helps them communicate their issues together; making a long extrapolated monologue over how he'd never abort Binghe is how SQQ is able to communicate that he loves him and accepts his feelings.

If you can't see the boyfailure then idk what to tell you 🙄

[generalsdiary]

not rover pulling the "we can get discounts from the vendors if we go as a couple/together" BRO LIKE CASUAL RIZZ? (I'm like sure I've seen that line in a kdrama or something ISTG)

casually calling him Yao

the headpat option for xianglee? and his little stutter when you do choose the option??

xiangli yao is so subtle in his flirting, it is so casual, so soft, bro can you be any more boyfriend codded like???

seeker of truth but the only thing that held him back was the desire for companionship (veritas ratio you haunt me in every universe)

obvious love languages are quality time and gift giving that man would do anything to grant a wish in this essay I will-

that man is so soft spoken, so gentle- for once someone didn't jump our bones, but casually knew who we were and subtly spoke his admiration for us and desire to meet us

"you do have a gentle soul" "ever thought about becoming fhe mysterious wish granter..." OFFERING HIS PRIVATE JOB HELLO? okay casual flirting, okay (it's giving boyfailure with that type of flirting ngl but he isn't boyfailure)

yes, allow me to rant about you, to you, in third person, to brag about you and go on a whole rant full of compliments to state that you, rover, are a whole ass hero

"there's no need to look far"

and he has conversation sense, bouncing off of rover's jokes and flirting smoothly they just match each other's vibes; rover needed someone chill istg

rover saving xiangli yao FINALLY A NONTOXIC YAOI LETSGO, and he is so caring and patient; immediately asking if rover is okay once outside of the sphere (biting a couch pillow rn)

the girls call rover over to come early- rover -_-, xiangli yao calls rover to come over- 🏃🏻

xiangli yao calling the rover "my friend" to partner pipeline is so real (right after that is the pat the bot's head option), rover when chatting with the kids referring to yao as their "mecha arm partner" THE FIC WRITES ITSELF

"maybe I should include it in the employee handbook" "we have a handbook already?" WE? the work unit of the TWO OF US? WE is this kinda domestic or am I tweaking- like yes, my partner, I've joined your start up, non-profit, no funds company and I'm your one and only employee (not counting the kids / his bots) and therefore it is now WE, cos I feel so comfortable at this job and with you, my PARTNER-

also, rly cute thing is xianglee and abby hanging out in the bg (the kids get along I'M NOT OKAY)

the parallels to ratio haunt me send help I cannot escape that man

[hitomisuzuya]

UOOUUGHHH seggs

Needy whiny scara I just need him whiney and being a boyfailure crying and sobbing as he keeps clinging onto us while we ride him before a meeting begins because he was being such a brat hnnngg stupid pathetic boyfailure fatui harbinger 😭

Scaramouche x fem!reader. Smut. Whiny, needy Scara. Riding. Scara is kind of a switch.

Writing this is making me feel better. I feel like absolute shit and I am feeling pretty down at the moment.

Scaramouche couldn't believe the state he'd been reduced to. His hands clinging and groping at your hips and waist, teary eyes flicking down over and over again to watch the white ring form on his cock while you rode him.

Each time his cock sank up inside of you, pulsing as it stretched your walls apart nearly him fall limp in his chair, his fingers having to renew his grip. He bit his lip to swallow a whimper as he bucked his hips hips into yours.

"You know, Scara," You began, your lips parting in a gasp of pleasure as his cock kissed into your sweet spot, it took a moment for you to compose yourself.

Scaramouche bit his lip to swallow a whimper. You'd stopped bouncing on his cock, and it was aching for you to move again. "Y-You won't get away with this," He said shakily, turning his cheek into your hand as you caressed his cheek.

You gave a smooth, firm roll of your hips, ignoring his threat. "You might get a long with everyone better if you weren't such a petulant brat all the time," You skimmed your thumb over a tear that trickled from his eyes, slowly rolling your hips down, making the mighty Harbinger underneath you crumble more.

He wanted to tell you to shut your mouth, but the only thing that came out was loud, husky moans as you suddenly resumed your pace.

Scaramouche needed to do something to help ground himself, his cock sinking up into your pussy just felt too good. One of his hands grasped one of your breasts, squeezing before his fingers found your nipple to pinch and roll.

The sensation of your nipple hardening between the pads of his fingers sent a jolt of pleasure to your clit, your pace quickening on his cock in response to the pleasure. You may have been the one making him helpless in the wake of pleasure, but you were also struggling not to fall apart on his cock.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Scaramouche whined, replacing his fingers on your nipple with his mouth. He was desperately holding onto your hips, anything to make you keep bouncing. "I won't apologize," His teary eyes glared up at you.

Your thighs smacked against his for a few moments longer before you stopped all movement again. You couldn't help but smile a little as Scaramouche whimpered again. "Oh, you won't? That's a shame," You slowly moved up and down on his cock, making his eyes roll into the back of his head, "You were just about to cum. Maybe you won't before this meeting."

Your threat made his eyes snap open. You'd been right. He had been about to cum, and for some reason, he couldn't ignore the stronger ache in his cock as you attempted to put him in his place. He really didn't mind every now and then.

His hands scrambled to find purchase on your hips, squeezing as he started bouncing you on his cock. Your eyes widened, you didn't expect him to suddenly take control like that.

Scaramouche couldn't stop moaning and whining from the intense, mind numbing pleasure. His legs shook, feeling a surge of dominance as the sounds of your moans sounded in his ears.

Now he was on a somewhat even playing field, his body shaking in pleasure as your cunt sucked his cock in. He let out a long, content sigh, enjoying the way you were drooling and crying out for him as you suddenly creamed on his cock.

He dropped his head into your neck, a long whimper tearing his throat as his cock pulsed and ribboned cum inside of you. His grip on your hips loosened gradually, riding out his high until your hips came to a stop.

"No," Scaramouche whimpered when you started to dismount him. He clutched onto your hips to keep you on his cock, nuzzling his face into your neck, "one more. Please," He needed to feel you cum on his cock again.

[luminique]

Imagine Lighter proposing to his s/o. He wants to be with his beloved for all eternity but he’s so afraid of ruining the proposal that he had to ask the girls, Big Daddy and Billy for help with the proposal.

Cue the most anxiety ridden and beautiful moment of Lighter’s life as he tries to propose to you (probably at Cheesetopia) while his team/family are helping him behind the scenes with everyone having earpieces. Everything was going smoothly until he can’t find the box. He’s shaking and losing his composure as he tries to find the box containing the engagement ring, he finds it but drops the box a few times with Billy having to distract his s/o from noticing that he dropped the box, and then he finally gets down on his knees to propose because Caesar and Lucy were screaming in his ear to just get down on his knees and tell his s/o that he wants to marry them.

Cue you looking at Lighter and seeing him propose to you. You’re seeing that ring, a beautiful ring with yours and his birthstones shaped into an infinity symbol, and the flashbacks of the first day you met him to the day you knew you were always going to be his are running through your mind. You knew the answer right away. You and Lighter were forever ride and die. Literally.

Now, cue the tears of joy down his face when you screamed “Yes!” and him twirling you around in pure joy as the Sons of Calydon are celebrating their Champion getting married. All that’s left is figuring out how to have a wedding.

THIS IS YUMMY ??!! I AM EATING IT UP !!

i fear i have a lot of difficulty writing prompts like these but this is so good on its own, i feel like i have nothing to add and will just share this to all the lighter enjoyers !!

hes so loveable boyfailure. i think that initially, he was just planning for a simple and quiet proposal but the SoC girls protested. a simple proposal FOR YOU ?? no. it HAS to be perfect. even the days leading up to it, he’s an absolute wreck that he could barely get a wink of sleep the nights before. what if you reject him? what if you’re not ready? what if it all goes wrong?

while he’s worrying about everything, you’re literally going about your day. i think the whole of blazewood would be in on the plan and you’re the only one who doesn’t know.

lighter had told you to meet up with him at cheesetopia, there was a new dish on the menu he wanted to try (he made up this excuse). so you get there and the exterior is decorated beautifully but no lighter in sight. he’s busy fumbling with the ring box while billy is just making some small talk. once billy gets the cue to leave, you’re still walking around a little, looking for lighter.

a tap on your shoulder, the sound of pebbles crunching under his shoes. you turn around and see lighter on one knee, he’s taking off his shades and pulling out the small box from his pocket. you could see the clear blush on his face and a little sweat glistening on his forehead from the anxiety of it all.

you knew the words that would come out of his mouth before he could even say it. the response came out faster than he anticipated, making a sigh of relief escape his lips. it takes him a moment to actually register your reply but once it did, it took no time for him to get up and give you the tightest hug before twirling you around in his arms.

everyone else were practically celebrating along with lighter. billy was already crying even before you said yes, burnice’s flamethrowers were acting up like fireworks, caesar and lucy were exhausted but looked proud, and piper was clapping to show her sleepy excitement. it was a momentous occasion for the SoC, and especially for you and lighter.